#so many people in it!! glad i didnt know anything about it before i watched

[ppnuggiex]

HIHII i see yoy dont have obey me content yet,, want me 2 change that😼😼 HOPE IM NOT DISTURBING U OR ANUTHINGF AND ALSO HOPE URE HAVING A NICE SUMMERR

but anywayy could i req hcs(and maybe a small scenario🙇‍♀️) of solomon and simeon(MAYBE DIAVOLO AND BARBATOS IF U WONT MIND,, IDM IF U DONT THO HUHU) with an insomniac/sleepy s/o that accidentally slept over at their place😻 IM SORRY IF U DONT UNDERSTAND,, BUT AS IN THEY WERE INVITED TO THEIR ROOM BUT COULDNT HOLD BACK FROM SLEEPING SINCE THEY HAVENT SLEPT😞😞

sorrei 4 making this so long,,im chatty asf for an introvert omg😭😭 BUT YEYESY THAT'S ALL🤍🤍 LOVE UR WORK VHAI VHAI🙇‍♀️

　　　　　　OBEY ME x gn reader

　　　　『　solomon ,, simeon ,, diavolo ,, barbatos ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> side characters w/ sleepy or insomniac s/o

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, comfort

　　— HIII OMG TYSM ♥️♥️♥️ glad to have my first obey me ask :) i am having a great summer 💪💪 though i start school next week 😭😭 so not too happy about that ,, tysm for requesting though :D i did all of them 😈😈 and its alr !! no worries abt being chatty 😝 i dont mind it one bit !! heres the request tho :) hope you enjoy <3

- solomon

| • he knows how the brothers run you ragged ,, and so he doesnt mind if you happen to fall asleep whilst staying over with him

| • if anything ,, it gives him an excuse to stay with you longer ,, stealing a few extra hours ,, and if one of the brothers do call he can say youre asleep

| • solomon did call you over so he can teach you more about a certain spell you had questions about

| • he'd pick you up from where you had fallen asleep and take you to his room ,, placing you under the covers so you'd be comfortable and warm at least

| • he'll place a kiss to your head and then go to the kitchen and make you something ,, until simeon stops him

- simeon

| • he wouldnt mind one bit if you happened to fall asleep ,, hes thankful for it really ,, since he knows how hard you work and how little time you get to yourself

| • he just wants you to be happy and healthy ,, and being well rested goes with that

| • simeon would make sure that youre comfortable ,, put a blanket over you and a pillow under your head

| • whilst your sleeping he makes you a little snack for you when you wake up ,, so you can have something to enjoy and refill your energy with

- diavolo

| • he had finally gotten some free time with his tight schedule and didnt waste a moment before he invited you over to watch some movies from the human world he's been interested in watching

| • barbatos helped to make popcorn and other snacks for you both ,, and even gave diavolo a quick tutorial how to use the remote and the tv 💀💀

| • diavolo isnt too upset that you fell asleep halfway through the movie though ,, hes mostly upset you havent been able to take care of yourself and in result its made you lose sleep

| • he keeps you under the cover and all cuddle up though ,, pressing many kisses to your head as he finishes up the movie

| • he might also nap with you when he gets a little too cozy

- barbatos

| • he already knew how tired you were before he invited you over ,, really it was the whole reason he did

| • having a little free time to himself for a bit ,, after finishing his duties for the hour that is ,, he invited you over with the intention of you sleeping

| • he made a special tea blend that increases melatonin and is meant to put people to sleep or make them drowsy ,, really just in general help them sleep

| • he'll coax you over to his bed and let you sleep whilst he finishes his duties for the upcoming hour

| • barbatos also has a few treats left out for you on the bedside table ,, with a spotch of tea to help awaken you and restore your energy

[equallyshaw]

ᴅᴀʏ ɴɪɴᴇ: ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ʜᴏᴍᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ - ʙʀᴏᴄᴋ ʙᴏᴇꜱᴇʀ

part of holidays with equallyshaw

warnings: swearing.

word count: 2.8k+

takes place over christmas and janurary! not really christmasy but idc lmao.

ʜᴇʀ ʜᴀɪʀ ꜱʟɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ ʙᴀᴄᴋ in a tight bun, her black dress clung to her irresistible curves and her free spirit is what caught broody brock boeser's attention, on this cold snow-free evening in vancouver. abba music pounded throughout the club, as divya 'viv' screamed the lyrics with her longtime uni friends. viv had just graduated this semester after 5 long years at uni of british columbia and she was more than ecstatic to raise some hell this weekend before heading home to toronto. after her 5 years in bc, she had no reason to stay on this side of canada so she was going to head home before heading to new york- hunting for a position on wall street.

brock watched as the dark haired girl danced and spun around with her friends, and felt the hair on his very neck raise. him and viv or 'vivian' as he called her, had hooked up many, many times over the course of her time on the west coast. it never led to anything, despite her giving him false hope. despite, them being exclusive to one another during the season. and him being faithful to her during the offseason - though she didnt know.

one of her friends since freshman year was on her way back from the bar, when she spotted some of the canucks. she rolled her eyes, slipping through people to get back to her group. "you'd never guess who's here tonight!" maya boomed and the girls all looked at her before shrugging. she then turned towards viv and viv felt a wave of guilt wash over. she had really like brock as a person, and hated toying with his emotions but she had told her self and her parents had too, that she couldn't date anybody while in school. her parents were pretty strict parents, but were leniant in other ways. "good god." she hummed, throwing back a shot of tequila to which she shut her eyes quickly, as the burning sensation died down. "he really did a number on ya, huh?" ginny another girl had teased while poking her elbow, "yeah for sure." viv lied. oh, he had in the most innocent of ways. but she had done it worse, breaking his heart over and over again.

❅

it was a while later when one of her friends sasha made her ways over toward elias, which then meant the two groups were bound to converse with one another. and as luck would have it, brock and viv found themselves close to one another. in proximity ofcourse, but viv didn't dare look at him. brock made a peace offering about 30 minutes later, holding out a cup of vodka cranberry and she knew she couldn't resist the free drink. she swiped it from him giving him a small smile, giving him a small nod. "how have you need davya?" he questioned, and she almost choked as he said her full name. "uh good! just graduated so im glad to be free of this place." she mused, sipping her drink. he nodded, "well that's great, congratulations!" he said smiling widely, a genuine smile was evident. she smiled back, the one that he had seen many, many times and he felt himself blush.

"still planning on wall street?" he questioned, and she nodded. "don't you know it. its not too far from home that my parents wont need to complain, but far enough where i feel like i can be my own person and find my own way." she said shrugging. he nodded, taking it all in. he hadn't said five words to her since may, and he had been dying to talk to her since then. "i always used to say that if vancouver didn't select me, i wanted to go to new york. something about it made me feel alive. if that makes sense." he said rambling a bit, and she could tell he felt embarrassed. "oh ofcourse! i totally get that...that's why im a sucker for it." she said whispering that last part and the two of their gazes connected. viv felt her chest begin to heat up, and the return of the familiar longing for him was evident.

he moved in closer to her, "maybe ill have to come visit you vivian." he mused, words and breath heavy on her neck. she felt herself shudder with pleasure, and looked at how close their faces were to each other. she grinned before leaning in and kissing him. he wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her in closer. they pulled away after a few seconds, "would it be crazy to ask you to come back to my place? again?" he questioned and she giggled, "thought you'd never ask...take me home." she whispered, with a cunning smirk on her face.

❅

two days later she woke up with an arm draped across her torso and chest, as her back was pressed into the mattress. she looked over and saw brock's familiar and luscious blond locks and smiled, rubbing small circles on his arm that was draped. god, she really needed to leave she thought. she had to catch a flight to toronto..but she didn't want to leave. being with brock felt right, it felt real and felt like home. though, her toxic side would never admit that. if she didn't get home, she'd hear so much from it. especially if she missed christmas and christmas eve. she felt the bed shift a bit, before brock rested his chin on her shoulder. she looked down, as she met his longing gaze. "morning vivian." he said softly, before she leaned in and kissed him. "morning brock." she hummed.

"whatcha thinkin about?" he questioned, pressing a kiss to her shoulder before exploring along her chest and neck. she softly moaned before he was now on top of her, and she had her hands wrapped in his hair. "just how my parents would kill me if i didn't make my flight tomorrow..but i shamelessly don't want to leave." she said shrugging and not daring to look at him. "whys that?" he said coyly, beginning to pepper her with kisses. she sighed, "because then they'd have the guy that they're forcing me to marry come find me. and like i don't want that." she said as if it was nothing. his eyebrows crinkled, as he froze. "sorry for this cockblock of a conversation." she said sitting up and he quickly moved off of her, as she wrapped around the throw blanket on the chair, next to the bed.

she wrapped her self and went to grab her phone from the kitchen where'd she had left it. "what do you mean, like an arranged marriage?" he questioned as she was about to leave. "yes." was all she said before walking out and then walked back in as quickly. "i don't want to be tied down to somebody that i don't love and especially not this quick after graduation, but they don't care." she said dropping the blanket, and bent down to grab her clothes.

"thats why you never wanted to be together, like be together for real." brock said putting the words together. she nodded. "she sighed, slipping on her underwear and jeans, her long locks draping over her chest. she turned back towards him, "that's why i kept breaking your heart...and mine." she said, the latter being softer. he stood up, and walked over towards her as she threw on her faux leather jacket. "what? you've liked me this whole time? just as much as i did?" he questioned and she scoffed, "well obviously brock, why do you think I've come back for the past 5 years almost? even if it crushed me saying no and leaving, you-you drew me back in and i loved our time together, even if it meant breaking my heart each time." she exclaimed, buttoning up her jacket. she looked up at brock, once she finished.

he stood in front of her and gave her a sad smile, and she hated it. she hated this look that he did whenever she broke things off, and would say no. "i keep hurting you, why do you keep holding on to hope, huh?" she exasperated. "because i love you! cant you see that!" he said raising his voice, acting as if viv didn't feel the same way. or as if she didn't see it.

"that will never be enough, brock! never!" she said running her hands through her hair. she sniffled, "that will never be enough and has never. its never been enough to be able to call off my wedding that as far as i know is in a few months. you're never gonna be enough for me, and i -i cant do anything about it." she said through tears, watching so many emotions flash through his blue eyes. he shook his head, "you're love will never be enough for me, and my love will never be enough to set me free." she said softer, and he titled his head just a bit at that; and his face dawned a pleading look. she shook her head, "im sorry brock." she said before walking out.

❅

it was janurary 20th, and she was heading into scotiabank with her older cousin and her husband. she had been living with her cousin for the month almost, after she told her parent's she needed time away from them. she told them that she couldn't go through with the marriage, and obviously they were not too pleased with her. they berated her and believed that she was bringing shame to the family. she said she was leaving, no matter their thoughts or feelings. once she had come back from vancouver, her older cousin sought it all out of her. her cousin absolutely adored the fact, that she had been seeing brock for almost 5 years. her cousin secretly wished that the two would somehow find each other again.

the two sat down in the club seats, and watched the players just beginning to take the ice for period 1. her husband handed over two beers, and viv quickly chugged half of it. "have you spoken to him..at all?" she questioned and viv shook her head. "nope." she sighed, quickly finding brock as he took his spot on the blue line for the anthem. she stood along with the rest of the arena, and listened to the anthem but through it all, she flashed back to all the times her and brock spent together. throughout the game she could not take her eyes off of the blonde-eyed beauty, that she had come to love. god, how she missed him.

at some point during period three with the two teams tied, the arena decided they would begin a segment on the jumbotron for 'kiss cam.' and ofcourse, her and cousins husband would be shown on the camera, despite there being a seat in between them empty. the girl next to her tapped her and pointed up, viv was terrified. she shook her head, a flash of fear in her eyes. the camera still did not move, and her cousins husband put his face in his hand, not believing that this was happening. the camera then moved away, and viv sighed a sigh of relief.

the camera flashed back to viv and her cousin's husband and they shook their heads again, and ofourse the crowd was eating this all up and the teams began to watch as well. brock looked up and felt his heart drop to his stomach, this couldn't be happening he thought. he looked away at the exact moment that her cousin came back and kissed him passionately in front of the crowd. the crowd, hooting and hollering. viv's cheeks heated up when her cousin laughed, sitting down back between them. "that was fun." she mused as viv rolled her eyes.

❅

two hours later, with a vancouver overtime win; coming from the princess himself, viv found herself, her cousin and her husband at the soho house bar. after about an hour of being there, she saw some of the vancouver canucks waltz in. she sighed, finishing her cranberry vodka and decided to call it a night. "no im gonna get a taxi, ill see you back at the condo." she said getting up, and began her dissent towards the front. she passed the team, with brock quickly recognizing the shade of dark brown hair from anywhere. he followed her out, and saw her waiting at the pickup area.

"vivian!" she heard to the right of where she was standing and she felt tears prick her eyes, once she realized it was him. "brock we cant do this here." she said as her uber pulled up, "then take me wherever you're going." he said confidently. she looked towards the uber and the grabbed ahold of his hand pulling him with her. "are we going home?" he questioned, "ill introduce myself." he added quickly and she sighed. "no, i left home once i came back. been staying with my cousin aditi or adi and her husband." she said leaning back into the seat. he watched the tension dissipate just a bit, and then took ahold of her hand that was resting on her thigh. he pulled it closer to him and rubbed her thumb softly. she looked towards him, and saw the look he had made her swoon these past years.

"come on." she huffed, pulling him out of the uber and up towards the condo. she opened it up quickly, and walked in and opening the door wider for him. she sat down her purse on the table near the door, and watched as brock took in the condo. the condo featured so much of her culture, yet it was modern and so different from other family members' homes. especially her parents.

"you left home?" he questioned softly, and she saw that it was laced with concern. "yeah my parents told me that this guy that they had been planning for me to marry, was gonna be making an appearance soon and i said no. i told them that if they went through with this, that'd they would be losing me. that i would not go through with it. id rather lose everything i own and have if it means ill be happy or have a chance to be. i had even made calls to my best friends in vancouver but my cousin said that i can come here first. and stay as long as i needed to." she said shrugging and pulling a bottle of water from the fridge. "want one?" she questioned and he nodded, taking one from her.

"she too never went through with her arranged marriage, and she's been able create her dream life and with the husband of her dreams." she said smiling softly, "who was sitting next to you tonight?" he questioned, and she nodded. he silently cursed himself and she saw his red cheeks. she shook her head, "all good brock. seriously. you had no idea based on what our last conversation was. i would have thought the same thing." viv said trying to soften the blow.

"i have spent the past 5 years absolutely head over heals for you and i would absolutely shoot myself in the foot if i didn't even attempt to mend or not even mend, but give us a chance." she paused as brock looked over at her. a sliver of hope coursing through his veins.

"i would be a fool not to at least attempt to explore my feelings and whatever it is between us. officially, that is." she said but looked away when he didn't say anything. he was just too stunned to say a word, he couldn't believe that the girl of his dreams who is a firecracker, kind, poised and absolute breathtaking would be now saying this. that she finally had the opportunity to explore this.

"really?" he choked out and she looked back at him. she nodded and he moved closer to her so now he was directly in front of her, and pulling a stray hair behind her ear. "pinky promise." she grinned, holding out her pinky. he looked down at it quickly, before looking back into her brown eyes.

pinky promises were their thing, it is what they said when the other was being serious. they'd come up with it after hooking up a few times her freshman year, and it stuck.

"pinky promise, b." she said and he smiled back, pulling hers and his pinky together.

they pulled away, and he wrapped his arms around her back while hers found his neck. they rested their foreheads against each others, taking in this moment together. because they didn't know how long they would go without seeing each other. well mostly viv.

but brock had other plans, "come home with me." he offered and she opened her eyes to find his already looking at her. "what?" she questioned in disbelief but also wanted him to say it again.

he smiled widely, pulling her as close as possible before speaking again. "come home with me." he stated, and she smiled softly. and not even a beat later, "take me home b." she smiled before he pulled her in for a long and deep kiss.

"oh! and can we celebrate christmas, i got you a gift.." she said pulling apart, and he grinned. "you and you're timing but yes, id love to spend christmas with you." he mused before kissing her once more.

hope you all enjoyed! pls like and reblog, if u did (:

tags: @cuttergauthier @jayda12 @toasttt11 @jackhues @dancerbailey3

[thesrctsoftheuniverse]

so over the weekend (literally two days) i watched 16 of the 18 episodes of season 3....... so here's my thoughts!!!!

i've already professed my love for the characters more than enough but i just need to remind everyone that i am sosososo in love with all these fucking characters, what a truly insanely likeable lineup of different personalities

eddie getting buck to babysit chris so he stops being stuck in a depressive spiral.... genius

the earthquake episodes last season were insane, but the tsunami disaster?????? off the charts. the scenes with buck and chris were fucking beautiful, i love this duo and need more of them NOW. buck cares about that kid so goddamn much. and while tired and injured he saves idk how many more people. the way him and chris are fighting for their lives and then buck is desperately looking for chris all while eddie thinks they're completely safe. eddie was freaking out last season because his son was stuck in a school, but he was calm during this disaster because he was with BUCK. it makes me so emotional. im sosososo glad that i had seen the outcome of chris being found before watching the episode bc idk how people who didnt know that beforehand could handle it. the scene with eddie finding buck with chris' glasses???? im going to start crying. and after all of that for buck being so sure eddie wouldnt trust him anymore only for him to drop off chris again like its nothing?? im going to sob

from what i have read online the lawsuit storyline is a very divisive topic in the fandom. i kind of see both sides. i can see that buck thought his hands were tied and that the only family he had was replacing him. but i know at the same time that it's an overreaction. bobby didnt have any reason to have buck stay on leave for that long when chimney proudly proclaims he went back to work after only a couple of weeks. i understand that bobby cares about buck like a son somewhat, but he was not being fair. buck also shows that he didn't really want to cause as much hurt and friction between them by apologising again and again and not even thinking about accepting the money, going back to the 118 even though he knew they were going to make it difficult for him. it was a tricky situation, but im glad they moved on from it fairly quickly.

the fight club eddie storyline is kind of wild????? also did he ever get any reporcussions from bobby for that??? men will literally do anything but talk about their issues and deal with their feelings. what an insanely gay thing to do.

love eddies conversation with bobby where he starts crying. eddie should cry more often (i say this with love)

lena im in love with you, do you like women?

chris' english teacher is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful

i truly love seeing athena and her family grow and change over time. the relationship between bobby and michael is so important to me. i love them together. and michael's tumor storyline??? heartbreaking.

love albert!

chimney and maddie i love you two soso much you deserve the world, youre so imporant to me. chimney respecting maddies boundaries no matter what.... im gonna cry (A BABY?????????)

the episode of 911 dispatch being taken over might just be one of the best episodes of the series. i especially loved that we got to see characters that other times didnt get as much screentime. LOVE LOVE LOVE JOSH!!!

the athena begins episode is heartbreaking. and beautiful. the closure at the end, with her telling emmet's mother that they made an arrest. how beautiful. really well done. she never gave up on finding that man.

the eddie begins episode is also beautiful. him cutting the fucking rope???? idk how they want me to believe that he swam to safety but whatever..... anyways he loves chris so much and we got to see more of his and shannon's marriage which i loved. to be fair, he was kind of a shitty father and definitely a shitty husband, shannon was clearly not ok and i understand why she left. doesnt make it right, but i understand it. when he gets stuck underground and buck starts losing his mind, screaming, crying, throwing up and bobby gives him /that/ look. oh kill me now. that man was gonna dig by hand .... i love them.

the episode of buck helping that old veteran feel important and not alone at the end of his life? im going to start crying again. buck truly believes that no one will ever love him or choose him or stay with him forever.

michael talking to harry about what being black means when they encounter police was incredibly moving and heartbreaking. but also important. i just love athena's family.

hen hitting that cello girl with the ambulance...... oh i cried so hard, my heart broke for her. karen and her are so amazing together i love them so much, they truly are each other's rock.

i love the buckley siblings. i love the side characters. i love the main characters. i have so many thoughts.

abby....i understand that she had to get away from everything to find herself ok? but she shoudlve just texted or sent a letter to buck just to give him closure and not let him keep haunting her apartment. i dont like them as a couple, this shit has clearly hurt buck deeply and will not be easy for him to get over. she didnt really seem all to apologetic either at the end. i get it but also why did u have to hurt buck by not ever responding and ghosting him????

got so many funny and beautiful scenes this season, it was amazing!!! truly loved every character. it had that gay ass buddie kitchen scene... lol

but anyways....im already done with two episdoes of season 4 so bye

[youremyheaven]

Hello, Purva bhadrapada, Leo stellium native here, I also wanted to add that I think purva bhadrapada, since it is Brahmin caste is probably more prone to this, then punarvasu and finally vishaka, who in my experience is the most materially/self interested Jupiter nakshatra, which is why we see it in so many celebrities compared to the other two, especially purva bhadrapada.

I've always been at the role of teacher/smart one since I was a little girl, I've always been a bit parentified and I think that comes out a lot in my relationships with nodals, since I'm the one who has to keep things in control, now that we are on the topic, I'm gonna trauma dump about my Magha sun, mula moon friend 😭

I don't want to bad mouth her since I do still have affection for her, but this woman put me through so much. One time she face timed me whilst she was drinking, she got so drunk and then started driving! She face timed me whilst she was drunk driving talking about how sad she was, all whilst I could hear all the dangerous turns she was making, so I called her mom to come get her, I couldn't do it myself cause I live too far away. The next day she wouldn't stop complaining about how pissed she was that I called her mom on her, talking about how she got in trouble, but what was I supposed to do? WATCH HER DIE ON CAMERA?! She made me the villain and not our other friend who she also face timed, who is also nodal.

Another time, she was dating this dude and SHE ALWAYS DID WHATEVER HE SAID FOR NO REASON, one time we were all hanging out as friends, a whole ass group of people, and this girl started sucking this mans dick in front of us 💀😭 like they were not slick in the slightest, I caught sight of it and then I tried to politely tell them to stop before the others noticed, she did not stop and others caught them, to which they all collectively said "Wtf? Stop please" AND THEN SHE COMPLAINED TO ME ABOUT THIS? HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE YOUR SIDE? 💀

Another time, I was really busy with some work but she texted me about how suicidal she was feeling and how she wanted to attempt, I stayed with her the whole night trying to talk her out of it until she just stopped talking to me all together, I panicked and spent hours debating whether to call someone, since I don't know if she really attempted something, but I didn't want her to be mad at me again. It was one of the most anxious nights of my life. Eventually, she called me and said she was fine 💀 I SPENT ALL THAT TIME WORRIED AND SHE DIDNT SAY ANYTHING! that was my breaking point and I just cut contact with her after that

The worst part of all of this is that she never took any interest in my emotions or any of the problems I had, in all the years of friendship we had I only opened up to her twice and I regretted it immensely both times. She never took any time to take care of me, and would always accuse me of telling her what to do after giving her advice THAT SHE ASKED FOR!

Anyway 💀 yeah it was traumatizing

💀💀💀💀 I'm glad you've cut her out

My Swati Sun, Magha Rising ex was somewhat like this. He texted me saying he's having a panic attack and does not know what to do (at like midnight) and then after I text & call him mad worried, he does not respond. He texts me back the next day afternoon saying that "it was just a spur of the moment thing, I'm alright" like wtf??? He always kept me on edge with his mental health stuff and I was always made to feel like I'm on suicide watch only for him to turn around and be like "oh I'm over it now bc I've drunk away the last thought I had in my head"

He once video called me at 8 in the fucking morning because he wanted company while he smoked

Let me just say that there was a clear imbalance in our relationship bc I had to watch out for him while he did batshit stuff and I could never do the things he did and expect him to have played the supportive role 😒

There was another Magha Moon girl I used to know who completely did unhinged shit, she jumped from man to man every week (not slut shaming, just pointing out poor choices) in India, the arranged marriage system prevails and she received a proposal from some 5'2 30 yr old (when we were like 21) who was loaded 💸and her family rejected the proposal and she was already dating some deadbeat loser. Guess what she did after she broke up with the deadbeat loser many months later?? She started talking to the 30yr old guy who came to her house with a marriage proposal 😭and literally 2-3 weeks later he publicly announced his desire to marry her at the wedding of a mutual relative and she said "I'm not interested in marrying you" PUBLICLY, it was super shameful for the families and all parties involved bc like ??? what on earth was she thinking??? he made his intentions clear from the get go??? did she think she could hook up and rebound with the guy who contacted her family with a goddamn marriage proposal??? and she played the victim when in reality throughout their 3 week tryst she led him on and on and on, why didn't she say she would never ever marry someone like him?? so embarrassing lol

There was a Magha Moon guy who I had mutual friends with and he's a complete deadbeat loser. He hasn't finished his degree (he was my senior at uni) he's broke as hell and all he does is go on road trips and drink till he drops and he had the audacity to ask my friends if I'd be interested in seeing him and I was like 🤢🤮ew no and he literally repeated this process every month no joke. He's asked me out more times than I can count, he's made our friends ask me on his behalf a billion times and I'm like ??? how oblivious or lacking in self awareness do you have to be?? He always told them that he thought I was "hiding" my interest in him 🤮🤢🤭so idk I feel like Nodals can be supremely delulu

[greynatomy]

haven’t posted in a while. lost some motivation on the other but will get back to it!

there’s is nothing sexual in this post so if you see the mature themes thing, ignore it cause it’s all fluff

this is a lisa manoban x male!reader instagram fix with shawn mendes as basically the face claim. lisa is from blackpink and i’ve become a fan after watching their coachella performances online. songs are a bop and are on repeat

let me know what you think of this one! send in some requests for things you want to see more as long as i have it open

-grey

———

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ynupdates yn is said to replace frank ocean at coachella weekend 2

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ynfan3 HOLY SHIT NO WAY

ynfan4 IM GONNA BE THERE

ynfan5 don’t disappoint us yn!!

↳ ynhater1 he’s not main stage worthy

↳ ynfan6 don’t hate before he even performs

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ynupdates yn arriving for coachella week 2

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ynfan3 HE SO FIIINNUHH??

ynfan4 He looks daddy

↳ ynfan5 he can be my sugar daddy

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ynupdates yn posted this video of lisa from blackpink on his story. ONLY LISA, not any of the other members!!

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bpfan2 OHMYGOD I AHHHH

ynfan2 any fan of yn’s know that he’s a big fan of bp… esp lisa

↳ bpfan3 wait really?!

↳ ynfan3 yeah! they met when blackpink first performed at coachella and been a fan ever since

↳bpfan4 that’s sick!!

liked by ynfan1, ynfan2, and 12,384 others

celebnews people had great things to say about yn yln's act at coachella. many said that it made up for frank ocean's disappointing performance, or lack thereof. he also performed a new, unreleased song called 'daydreams' and people are swooning.

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ynfan3 OUR BOY DOES NOT DISAPPOINT

ynfan4 all ya'll haters just hating

bpfan1 watched his act cause i heard he was a bp fan and i'm staying cause he is a vibe

↳ ynfan5 welcome new friend!!

liked by jennierubyjane, yourinstagram and 10,500,320 others

lalalalisa_m fun in the desert 🌵

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bpfan1 she posted yn and yn only!!

ynfan1 OMGGG I SHIP SO BAAADDD 🚢 🛳️

↳ bpfan1 i watched his act and IT WAS SO GOOD. i ship too

liked by bpfan1, ynfan1 and 15,374 others

bpupdates jennie posted the first one on her story, lisa posted the video as one of her instagram post slides and the last one was posted by a fan

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bpfan2 not lisa posting herself fangirling

ynfan2 awww they all watched the other's performance

liked by lisafan1, bpfan1 and 6,392 others

blackpinkupdates are lisa and y/n y/ln in a relationship? this tiktok has some ‘proof’

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bpfan2 lisa's post from earlier doesn't help with the rumors at all

↳ bpfan3 miss gurl just don't care

↳ bpfan4 she said fuck the management

ynfan1 he def hit that

↳ ynfan2 they could just be friends. they've known each other since 2019 and there weren't anyone saying anything then

↳ ynfan3 or they just hooking up

liked by harrystyles, lalalisa_m and 20,748,046 others

yourinstagram we actually said i do...

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ynfan1 OHMYGOD WHO IS ITTTTT

↳ ynfan2 HE DIDNT TAG ANYONEEEEE

hairstyles it was a great wedding mate. glad to have been your best man

↳ harryfan1 HARRY WAS BEST MAN

bpfan1 LISA LIKED OMGG

ynfan3 IM FREAKING OUT

liked by jennierubyjane, yourinstagram and 16,394,299 others

lalalisa_m ...about a year ago

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bpfan1 SHES MARRIED?? SHES FUCKING MARRIED??

jennierubykim AHHHHHHHH

sooyaaa_ YAAAY

roses_are_rosie WE BEEN KNEW

bpfan2 THIS IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING KEPT SECRET

↳ bpfan3 THE QUESTION IS TO WHOOOOO

ynfan1 HOLD UP HOLD UP! YN POSTED SOMETHING SIMILAR

↳ ynfan2 THEYRE MARRIED

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celebnews yn yln and lisa from blackpink are MARRIED. the two posted their own picture with yn's being "we actually said i do..." and lisa's being "...about a year ago" this came as a total shock to all yn and black pink fans all over as we have not seen them interact at all in the four years since they met. were you just as shocked by the news as everyone else?

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bpfan2 this was not in my list of things that would happed in the celeb world

ynfan2 they're the king and queen of secrets cause WOW

yourinstagram still can't believe she agreed to forever with me

↳ lalalisa_m @ yourinstagram how could i not?

↳ bpfan3 they're so cute ohmygod

↳ ynfan3 officially my favorite couple

bpfan4 DAYDREAMS IS ABOUT LALISAAAA

[hinderr]

Okay, here's the thing about the finale (and s3 as a whole)

First of all I wanna say, 'good' and 'fun' dont necessarily have to come together. Something objectively 'bad' can still be fun! I know I had fun a bunch of times this season, so if you enjoyed it and you had fun, I'm happy for you, and I'm not tryna say that you're 'wrong' for it, I am genuinely happy for you

But here's the thing, I didnt have fun during the finale. It felt rushed and stupid and careless, like they just wanted it done and over with, dust their hands off

- they allowed din to escape capture IMMEDIATELY, before we got a chance to see what Gideon was going to do to him or WHY he had taken extra care to capture him. They had Grogu, instead, a child apparently break away from the group of 'Foundlings are the Future' Mandalorians to save his dad alone. What?

- Gideon sees Din and Grogu moving around in the command centre and puts his helmet on going 'I'll deal with them myself'. Gideon proceeds to NOT do anything until after they destroy his precious clones, in which he waits in the room AFTER to monologue. He's a villain, yeah, but he's not stupid like that

- there were SO many things they built up only to just immediately forgo. Din's interrogation. The Armourer (and her sickly passengers) being intercepted before reaching the fleet. And then solutions to the plot appear suddenly - R5 is there now, oh he's gone. It'd be fine if it was clever, but they werent

- bo-katan is mand'alor for like. The fifth time idek. NOTHING about her previous behaviour btw especially abt her behaviour to clones. Ive been giving her the benefit of doubt thinking she'd apologise or sumn before s3 ends but. Nothing. She's just nice now or whatever

- Gideon's death was STUPID and not at all gratifying. For a villain as complex as he was, who made din and grogu's life SO hard by hunting them down, to have him die the way he did feels weak

- Paz Vizsla. Nobody cares about Paz Vizsla apparently

- the whole thing with IG-11 and IG-12 was weird and wonky. Im glad 11 is back, but that era where Grogu was pupeteering what was essentially his corpse very much rubbed wrong

- the plant thing was stupid. 'They just need room to grow' and when people were living in domes there WASNT any?? Goddamn

- WHERE IS PERSHING??

The whole thing felt...uncared for, you know? Like they didnt care for the story they wrote, they just wanted cameo after cameo, 'ooh jack black ooh gideons wearing mando armour ooh ig-11 is a mech suit now' and then didnt even bother tying a ribbon, they just chucked the box on your doorstep. The characters felt ooc, namely Bo-Katan BUT ALSO Din Djarin himself. Thats not what Mando would do, became such a common sentiment while watching. And its so disappointing because they had all the potential!! It couldve been SO GOOD

I just. Sigh. I wish they cared, yknow?

[adidegmez]

spn s7 spoilers

s7 ep1(meet the new boss)

the cas we know is gone. dean,sam and bobby are accepting cas is god so easily. i thought they wouldn't call him god that easy. i love death. but really, dean gave up on cas so quickly. cas is back. and he is gone, again. he'll be back.

s7 ep2(hello, cruel world)

lucifer… i love winchester's relationship. i loved bobby's house now, everything is gone. bobby isn't gone he cant be.

s7 ep3(the girl next door)

i love sam. how could dean do that? why did he do that? is he real dean? i cant believe this.

s7 ep4(defending your life)

good guys always feel guilty. even if its not their fault. even if they know its not their fault. i was mad about dean killing amy. but then i thought about it. i thought they didnt kill lenore but then i remembered she didnt kill anyone when they let go of her. amy and lenore are not the same. and in the end dean was right imo. because amy killed for her kid and if her son gets sick she would kill again.

s7 ep5(shut up, dr. phil)

I thought the Amy topic was closed. I was wrong. we'll see later how it ends, i guess.

s7 ep6(slash fiction)

dean always deserves good things in his life, so does sam. finally sam learned about amy. he'll forgive dean, probably.

s7 ep7(the mentalists)

sammy ad dean back together again. i love them.

s7 ep8(season seven, time for a wedding!)

ep name is weird. this should be fun. i love the temp. idk but i kinda like crowley when he is not messing with the boys.

s7 ep9(how to win friends and influence monsters)

i dotcare thati dont care. ilove that scene. bobby cant die like that.

s7 ep10(death's door)

he can't die. it was nice to see rufus. i knew bobby would die. i saw spoilers before but i didnt think he would die this season. he cant die. he left the winchesters. goodbye bobby. winchesters are alone, again. i want to think bobby will return but i dont think he will.

s7 ep11(adventures in babysitting)

i like krissy. i love dean with kid. he is so sweet.

s7 ep12(time after time after time)

dean knows his brother so well.

s7 ep13(the slice girls)

emma is dean's child? Sam and Dean shouldn't have split up. emma and amy werent the same. amy killed, emma didnt. she was goin o kill dean i know but i just wanted to say there is difference. and i think there are 2 kinds of moster to dean: those who kill people and those who didn't kill people, yet. and dean thinks tho who didnt kill could be saved. and i think he is right.

s7 ep14(plucky pennywhistle's magical menagerie)

bad cop sam. he is funny. clowns were scary. supernatural gives me new fears. i miss cas when is he coming back?

s7 ep15(repo man)

jeffrey is a good guy. i liked him. lucifer is funny. and jeffrey is a psychopath.

s7 ep16(out with the old)

i liked frank but i really miss bobby. I don't understand how Dean finds time to watch so many movies. i knew frank would die. but know thinking about it i think he is not dead, yet. ıf he was dead there would be a body.

s7 ep17(the born-again identity)

i want to see cas and crowley. i miss them. did bobby refuse to go? and now he is going with winchesters everywhere and helping them? because that notebook cannot have fallen by itself. It hurts me that Cas was the one who did this to Sam. Sam has been through a lot. I hope he can get over this soon. cas!!! i wanna cry(well im crying little bit). cas is back? he is emanuel, what? he is cas. meg?! sam is still helping people. i love him. cas is back. he saved sam:) but now he is left behind, with meg! i hope dean knows where meg is and she wont do anything bad for winchesters and cas.

s7 ep18(party on, garth)

okay dean knows about meg. garth is funny. i missed impala. bobby is here!!! i want to see him more. but why couldn't he contact them? i hope we can learn it.

s7 ep19(of grave importance)

bobby finally talked. i love him. what he did was kinda wrong. but without him boys would be dead so many times. i hope things wont end bad for bobby but i doubt it. but i am glad to see him anyways.

s7 ep20(the girl with the dungeons and dragons tattoo)

i know new characters will come to spn and i am so excited to meet them. i saw them on the internet and i cant wait to see their relationship with the boys. and Charlie is one of them. and i am happy she came. i like her. bobby will do something bad isnt he? she is a nerd:) . well, is Charlie coming back?

s7 ep21(reading is fundamental)

hi cas(and meg). no way home😅(iloveyouguys). i really missed cas. he is even funnier now. he is happier. cas would do anything for the winchesters. i hate leviathans. i hope we'll see cas and meg again.

s7 ep22(there will be blood)

i wanted to see crowley. bobby is not truly gone, not now at least. this wont end good for bobby. there is 8 seasons left i am happy i get to spend so many time with my favorite characters.

s7 ep23(survival of the fittest)

goodbye bobby. baby is back!!! i knew dean wouldnt hurt baby like that. i'm glad dean forgive cas. i love their friendship. purgatory, seriously?! crowley does whatever he wants whenever he wants. and he got meg and the world. and sam is alone. Cas left Dean. of course, he'll get back(i'm 99% sure). i cant wait to see how they will survive this?

[zroqravity]

no you are literally so right about the patreon thing though

i don't wanna be a hater on my blog so I'm gonna be on anon, but it is genuinely a stupid financial decision.

also like.

why the fuck was the update on patreon only??? if it concerns riptide, their main campaign??? like at least make a community post (they didn't have a problem making community post for merch for an exclusive campaign but they can't talk about hiatus on there??? weird)

also a thing that annoys me is the fact that they still have ads and shit on episodes, they have sponsorships. and it's not weird, every single podcast with a patreon I listen to has that (dndads, which they actually made a reference to once in an intro, naddpod) but they're the only ones that have activity on patreon and NO activity on main feed. it's weird!

and those podcasts manage to have active main campaigns while also having successful patreons! i understand that for the boys it's like a main job and so the pressure to have it pay off is high. but it's just not gonna if they move to patreon completely. it never works! I've seen people try so many times and it never works because patreon just doesn't work like that. it literally advertises itself as a place for exclusive content and it ain't exclusive if it's The Only thing that exists.

anyway I think they should have prioritized getting wanderlust out first (if they make it like the suckening I swear to fucking god I'll explode), THEN doing a patreon mini-campaign and then coming back with riptide. or better yet, posting the mini campaign along with riptide coming back to lure people in. would work on me if patreon wasn't locked away from regionally

they're just managing it all rather poorly tbh. like I get it? they're making money and I would also prioritize that shit, I understand. but at this point some of it just feel disrespectful. like posting the update on patreon of all places (not even fucking twitter???? or smth?)

anyway anyway. sorry for getting all of this off my chest in your askbox I just. most people I follow and/or am mutuals with for jrwi have patreons and i just feel like I can't complain about it. yknow? it's probably just in my head but yeah. you're so right

THE UPDATE THING YEAH I DIDNT KNOW I COULD ACTUALLY WATCH IT FOR FREE FOR QUITE A WHILE! It'd reeallllly weird to only put it on patreon especially when they have posted things of this sort on twitter in the past and at least made a community post abojt it on youtube, I can't think of exactly why they did this honestly but just the fact that they did it makes me suspicious despite there not being anything technically wrong with it and leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

also they have ads enabled on patreon stuff?? Yeah that is kinda weird and something I've never thought about before. Also a big fan of dndads here, in my original repay to the ask I actually mentioned them as a podcast who uses their patreon well but decided to delete it.

PATREON IS REGEON LOCKED??!?!@ THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH WORSE NOT ONLY ARE THEY LEAVING OUT FANS RHAT DONT PAY BJT ALSO SOME THAT WOULD PAY BUT JUST HAPPEN TO LIVE IN THE WRONG PLACE??????#@ AND THESE PEOPLE WOUNDNT EVEN BE ABLE TO SEE THE UPDATE

yeah they are handedly this shit very poorly, I'm glad my asks could be somewhere for you to talk about this bc I know how frustrating this is, I'm really glad I finally got the guts to speak more about this bc its something I've had a big problem with for a while and it's really nice to see that it's not actually all in my head and I'm not just being a hater unreasonably like I tent to think i am

Sorry for the late reply, my reply to your other ask will come even later, sorry again o7

[pommunist]

So sorry for the random vent in your ask box Pommunist, but I just keep seeing peoples posts about saying goodbye to the fandom and while im so glad to see so many people had such positive experiences with interacting I myself didnt really see much of it. I dont know if its cause im just more of a lurker and so I wasnt really making friends and memories with people around the qsmp but I honestly saw an overwhelming amount of negativity and even negativity mascaraing as positivity. Being in this fandom did not teach me togetherness it only taught me just how cruel and mean people are. Over all I honestly dont feel like qsmp reached its goal to bring communities together if so much of the fandom is volatile and actively will attack fans, ccs, admins, just about anyone. There was so much zenaphobia both in the fandom and in the studio. Purgatory was so poorly put together the streamers were having live disagreements and fights (that they thankfully usually got sorted quickly but was still DEEPLY awkward to witness and many people would just leave, wait for the fight to get worked out and come back) and not to mention how angry the fandom was over EVERYTHING at the time. And all that was done ON PURPOUSE. How can we say the the QSMP reached its goal of brining communities together when that simply did not happen? People are still split up in "the Brazilan fans" "the French fans" "the English fans" ect. Like im sure SOME people feel like THEY got something out of it and thats great but dose that mean that OVERALL as a full whole that the QSMP did that? Id argue no.

I’m going to say something that I almost never say lmao but I think a lot of it isnt Qstudios fault.

A lot of it is tied to the nature of twitch stream in as a storytelling medium. Take a normal TV show, people will still find ways to argue all the time about which character is in the right, whether or not a plotline was good etc. And they’re all watching the exact same thing.

With twitch streaming, people have their favourite characters and everything they see is from their pov, which is biased by nature and ultimately lead to a lot of misunderstandings, especially when everything said goes through translation.

Now add to this the second thing which is that some people got into qsmp with zero interest for it and its goal. They were first and above all else a fan of their favourite ccs, and never had any intention to open their mind to anything more than that.

Meaning that for them, everything that was beneficial to their fav, they liked, and everything or everyone that wasn’t, they hated.

Purgatory was the perfect event to lethally mix these two together, which wasn’t helped by that it was a poorly thought out and poorly executed competition event with high stakes (or so we thought at least lol).

Then you also have the xenophobes/mysoginists/shitheads who will just throw hate based on discriminatory reasons or simply because they’re assholes. I’ve seen takes that genuinely had my jaw touching the floor, but that’s the thing when you merge communities, the bad ones come along everyone else sadly.

On top of that they also ruin the fun for other people which lead to some just wanting to stuck with the community they were already a part of before qsmp.

On the other hand, QSMP still allowed people to share parts of their cultures with each other, pick up and learn each other languages, make people who would have never met without it befriend each other.

Personally before it I had never watched English or Portuguese content on Twitch, and now do regularly. I didn’t know any of the streamers besides the French speakers, Fit (watched his vids) and Rubius (only bc he was against the french in the pixel war), and now I’ve discovered many amazing ccs.

I was able to discover and learn a lot about how people do things in other countries, met cool people that I would’ve never met. My opinion on this is probably partly biased due to the fact that the specific communities I’ve been active in are almost comically all peace and love but I’ve also seen a lot of shit, just chose to focus on what was good.

I think QSMP fandom is kind of like if you and a bunch of strangers from around the world were shoved together in a bar. Most people are going to talk and drink and have fun together, but some of these strangers are bond to be assholes who will talk loudly and look for a fight, making the night a bad experience for those who stood near them.

So yeah I think QSMP achieved its goal to an extent, and built bridges between communities but the experience was soured by some who either didn’t care about crossing that bridge or even tried to actively sabotage it.

[thegreatclowncat]

Woah, could you tell us more about your house that was inhabited by demons? I’m glad you’re alright :0

on it, boss

and thanks!

ok this is going to be veeerrry personal. mental health, religion, stuff

so i rented out a room inside of a condo for my sophomore-senior year of college with two other people. It was a narrow house, with all the bedrooms on the 2nd floor. Mine was at the top of the stairs, the rest were down a hallway. In retrospect, we had nothing that would leak gases into the house that would make us hallucinate or feel weird. everything indoors was electric, and the water heater was in an outdoor room with open-air access outside. However, we had no carbon monoxide meter, so. that's for anyone to speculate.

I started noticing that feeling of being watched coming from down the hallway on days when I was there alone, but I shrugged it off and attributed it to the fact I've felt that way ever since I was a little kid (to the point I had phobias of dark windows, closets, mirrors, and photos with eyes in them)

Walking towards my roommate's room always felt like I was descending into a pit. Like sudden full-body goosebumps, intense thoughts like "go away. go away turn around", it seeming 2x darker than the rest of the hallway, etc.

At some point I started seeing stuff back there, but turning to look at it directly, there'd be nothing. I just kinda treated it all like whatever. When i was 13 i had major depressive disorder to the point I developed hallucinations for a brief time. I just figured it was the same old stuff.

Until my roommates started talking about it. They knew about it for a long time. they called it "the house ghost" and hoped it was friendly. I didn't really care about it then either. It wasn't a problem, especially when my roommates were there.

then suddenly, i was alone. my a-spiritual roommate graduated and moved out, and the roommate whose room was at the back of the hall- her mental health got so bad that she had to move back home. ✨ForeShadowing✨. She would visit occasionally, but I was alone most of the time, and this was when covid started so I was stuck inside the house all day, too.

I do not know when or why they were there. I don't know why they were rooted onto that last room. at one point I braved the hallway and opened my roommate's room (I had to put something of hers inside). I didn't get a good look around, but there was a giant band poster taking up half of her wall that was just a very large hastily-painted eye. literally no idea if that's significant in any way lmao, it just scared the crap out of me (see eye phobia). Later on, that same roommate left a wiccan book on the kitchen counter. Are demons attracted to things like that? the book probably, but the rest, I am unsure. I don't know how many other wiccan or new age things like that she had in her room either. I can only speculate on whether or not she intentionally invited them, unintentionally did, or if they were there before all of us.

I am unsure why I believed there were three. I think it felt like three.

well, at this point it becomes a lot more subjective. All i can describe it as is: the things in the house reallllyyy didnt like me, and their old target left.

I didn't know a lot of my own promises as a Christian, like that demons couldn't hurt me or anything and that I am inherently protected and etc etc. I did not know I had authority over them and could tell them to skedaddle. I was afraid of them, and honestly that's the worst thing a person can be lol. I do think demons can *torment* someone, but only if they're given permission to. I mean, they could never hurt me -directly-, only... bother me, a lot. especially attacking places where i was still broken inside, and bringing up things and mental problems i struggled with a lot in the past

I was quite happy at this point in my life, even with the isolation. I really didn't like being in school, though. content warning for this next paragraph, self injurious ideation:

But out of the blue, I started getting intense intrusive thoughts about self harm and suicide. It was near constant sentences sounding off in my head. I say that, because I don't naturally have an internal monologue. So I... attributed it to the isolation. I didn't pay attention to the fact that it only happened when I was inside the house. After a few months of that, it started stressing me out. One day, my very religious mother visited, and I had to leave for a few hours. When I got back, she pulled me aside and said that the whole time she was in my room, something kept trying to tell her to jump off my balcony, among other things. She started blasting praise music through speakers, but said "for some reason, it was really, really difficult." I think i just started crying. I asked her how many demons there were in the house. she said, "three." Gosh, I wish I knew how to tell them off at the time. anyway

She didn't know how I could live through that every day for the last however long it was. I didn't know either. It didn't get better after that. Normally, they couldn't come in my room, full stop. but there was one time i unintentionally agreed with something demonic (i didnt think it was inherently bad on the surface) and didn't realize, that night I saw someone standing in my room. eventually, i printed out Bible verses and taped them to all of the walls around the house so I could recite them as I walked to my room.

unfortunately that was also the start of me not being able to listen to secular music, bc some bands would also bring them closer.

As far as I myself went, I started having intense mood swings, nightmares, depressive episodes, the most major dissociation i've ever experienced in my life, and the stress started ruining my digestive system to the point where I had to stop eating solid food for a little bit. That was the beginning of my last 3 years of sickness.

i made a funny tiktok that no longer exists online making fun of the whole house situation, and im quite proud of it but it has my face in it, so no one gets to see it :P

I FINALLY got out of the house, and moved away, but sadly my problems stuck. persistent indigestion and malnutrition worsened mental health to the point I stopped making enough neurotransmitters to feel emotions and sleep and have a normal memory, i was absolutely tortured with different things. i was so afraid of messing up and making demons hurt me (which was a lie. a lie very useful for them)(i believe it's called legalism, which, bad). I was a complete mess, physically mentally spiritually.

but yeah it took 3 years to learn that i can just. act in the authority i was given. fully believe im protected and forgiven and healed, even in my mind. command things to leave and they have to. i also started listening to music again, bc i know things cannot hurt me anymore. i dont have to be afraid of anything. ever again.

i'm all better now, i havent had neurotransmitter problems in ages, my stomach is healed, i get to exercise soon, the mood swings went away, i rarely ideate bad things, i dont remember my last depressive episode, and i havent had intrusive or bad thoughts in a while! i mean im still kind of weird and eccentric but that's to be expected

[mariailoveyou-guerin]

I stopped watching the rookie and haven’t watched new Amsterdam in while because I got so fucking tired of how every show on made it seem like a woc couldn’t possible fall in love with a man of color which just got me so annoyed! Like sure I love Sharpwin they my otp but the fact they had Sharp break up with two perfect fine Asian men for no rzn and made the most lame bs excuse ever just to get her with the yt male lead got me so triggered couldn’t they just not set them up to fail or just for the plot if they wouldn’t wasn’t everrrrrr gonna make them happen in the first place so we some of us wouldn’t get excited to attached or get our hopes up about the ships! don’t get me wrong I love sharpwin but it was just so annoying especially as someone who is huge fan of her and my girl is always paired with the yt lead and in 90% she gets hate for it by yt fans of the show cough doctor who fans my poor queen the hate pain and suffering she’s endured bc of whovivians is unimaginable so yeah glad she’s loved in yt ship now

then there’s the rookie that I stopped at first I loved Chen and Bradford they 2 of my favs but I didn’t like how they seemed to just have my girl go from one old yt cop to the next then they had her date another 2 guy in uniform but didn’t even give them a chance and they were both moc I think so it was like nah let’s not give them a chance so she too can end up with the yt lead man again like she didnt start the show with being into the white male lead! That’s what I hate them not even giving woc a chance to find happiness or date or love with moc! look at Bobby and athena love that ship it wasnt just let’s have the black woman with the yt male lead it was build up it had romance it was a ship with substance like they didn’t break her and her moc up just bc they wanted her to end with the yt lead there was a whole story seasons before they happened all of that great writing great plot great storyline then just thinking every show has to have the woc end up with yt male lead bc thats what they think everyone wants it for some odd reason especially blackpeople god knows where they got that from but I’m sure it’s their thinking no one wanna watch a black/poc ship be happy in love and that people just want yt leads in all and every one of the ships bc that’s the only way anyone ever wanna watch enjoy the show that ship right or even root for the blackpoc ships characters as love interests or as in general their whole characters arcs! and it seems sadly right on some parts bc yts defently only ever wanna watch a show or ship if there’s at least one yt lead as part of the ship and as face of the show! Anyways im so fcvking tired of it! that’s why I ain’t getting my hopes up about popecleo in obx and that’s why they making jiara happened now bc that theory of theirs sadly has merit! I won’t even start on Bridgeton fcvk that whole show but ben polin edwina and ! that’s why I say Mr. Malcom’s List is far far far superior period drama then anything bridegerton could ever think of or ever do.!!

Heard something reverse went down in show resident it’s been a while since I watched was on s3-s4 I think and I stopped bc I saw a spoiler that I’m still not ready to face like my queen Emily whom I’ve watched every shows she’s been in d worded so I can’t get myself to watch but saw some clips here that it was reversed tho

there’s so many shows I could tag that did this sh*t if there’s any y’all feel so strongly about like me with the ones in the tag do share might have started that show but given up when all that shit went down who knows y’all could surprise me an it could be a show I aint seen

[againstme]

hi hello so basically the meeting was a very stressful situation for me mainly because jackson was there and i couldn’t leave because it was mandatory, but also because the meeting in and of itself made me very uncomfortable.

and i want to preface this by saying that i don’t mean this in a way to shit on AA, or people that find benefit from AA, that are in recovery for alcoholism, or anything. it’s just not something that applies to me because i’m not an alcoholic, and i’m also not a religious person, though i did grow up going to church pretty regularly, and stopped going once i moved out.

so yeah. i didn’t know that the group was going to be AA, and that’s fine, but i didn’t know what to expect at all, and i was made to go to the group even though i wasn’t an alcoholic at all. so, that was stressful.

the other stressful thing was being basically trapped in a room with jackson again, with some other members of the program, and these 3 people running the group that i didn’t know at all.

so, the group started with a prayer, in unison for the people that knew it, which i wasn’t expecting at all. i don’t mean to shit on people that are religious, again, i went to church for a big portion of my life, but now that i’m an adult and can make my own choices, i’ve chosen to not attend church anymore, because it never stuck/resonated with me in the first place.

they explained the 12 steps of AA, which i had heard before but we never talked about any of them past the second one, and didn’t get into any of the religious aspects.

for context, these are the 12 steps of AA:

and again, im glad for people on their recovery journey, and i’m glad that they’re finding something that works for them in order to benefit themselves and their health and well-being. i just wasn’t ready for it to get So religious So fast. many talks about jesus and god, “by the grace of god”, having a spiritual awakening and that being the reason why people were able to stop drinking, things like that. which, because i’m not an alcoholic and not religious, i didnt relate to at all. so i’m just stuck in this situation that was already making me uncomfortable, making me feel like i was stuck at a church sermon with my family, and then i had the creepy guy who was watching me sleep looking at me and looking away when i would notice.

and that was about an hour and some change long, of me just sitting there, anxious as fuck, shaking, looking down, not able to make eye contact, and wanting to just dart out of the room and run the fuck away.

i didnt, and i made it though it, which is a positive, i guess.

we spent another like half hour just in the house after that, where jackson was looping around a certain area in the house to watch me, and i was so stressed and so uncomfortable and just clenching my fists and trying to not do anything or say anything because i would explode if i did.

we finally got home, and i took my meds and went to bed and told people to leave me alone. which they did, thankfully. i was thinking that i was finally going to be able to cry about all of this, but nothing happened. which sucked.

but i survived and i didn’t die and didn’t explode at that moment. so that’s something, i guess

[disco-cola]

ok i need to rant again. when i was actually ON THE TRIP almost exactly 4 years ago (again, it was an educational trip organized thru a berlin based socialist youth organization) I literally had NOOO IDEA about palestine, like yeah I have heard the name before sometimes but I thought it existed CENTURIES AGO like no fucking joke I will admit this. in Germany they don’t teach you about this in school or in the media, ESPECIALLY due to germanys history, world war two and the holocaust you carry a sort of blame that’s passed on from generation to generation - it’s only been like 80 years too it might sound long ago but it really isn’t. you think oh israel is the jewish state and it has to be right after all germany did to jewish people, no further questions asked. before i never ever educated myself bc when I got old enough to watch and understand news that did involve Palestine, like in 2k14 i remember Gaza was big on the news with violent images and I was horrified just believing everything i heard and saw i distinctly remember googling where is Gaza bc i saw footage on the news and being scared but downright relieved when i saw its not close to germany (dumb) and I just believed the reports on tv. i didnt really use the internet then as much, i had no social media except Facebook and this blog at that point. Man I was 17 and in high school i didnt care for anything outside my small bubble bc I didn’t have to, being a privileged western child. So fast forward to late 2k19 in the project i was still hanging out at at the time we got the offer for the „israel travel“ and a lot of people wanted to go and I literally just succumbed to peer pressure imma be so honest. Everyone wanted to go so I did too, i didn’t wanna stay home. i just thought ohh i have not flown since 2003 and 300 euros for a two week trip i can actually afford this too for fckn once and there were too many people interested and too little spots so there was a Tombola and my name got drawn so that was literally the reason I went. And i usually pride myself with very good memory and recollection but those two weeks are honestly a BLUR to me like idk if it was the stress and excitement of the traveling itself but i wish i sometimes had listened more carefully, had already known what I know now and been able to ask more questions and watch and listen more closely. we did stay with Arab guest families in tamra for a week of the trip, the other half in Tel Aviv (i got wasted with the hostel staff after having to be freed aka 2 doors kicked down in my room the first evening we were there bc the doorhandle in the bathroom broke i was in trauma and then was mutuals on ig with the hostels chef until 2k21 when israel bombed gaza and there were also rockets from Gaza to Tel Aviv in response and he turned out to be Zionist so I unfollowed then) and then for the last few days we were staying in two air bnbs in jerusalem. We celebrated new years in haifa with a Christian Arab family that invited us. we did visit a kibbutz on New Year’s Day bc someone from our groups grandma was living there since 48 (yep back then i just thought oh wow that’s amazing now I would view this a lot more critically) which also got us an exclusive guide around the kibbutz which was just on the border to lebanon and seeing the bunkers was eerie but I understand it now that I got into the history involving Lebanon too. we visited several museums like ghetto fighters and yad vashem. which dont get me wrong im glad we did, it’s an important part of history. it was a „both side“ experience and I literally didn’t even realize there was a Palestinian side to it then. Like genuinely it wasn’t really made clear how this all came to be Israel. They showed us a map pre-1948 vs. now but how did it get so big i didnt know. What zionists are. What settlements are. What the IDF is (by now let’s just call it IOF) I just remember the second day in Tel Aviv someone told us israel has only existed since 1948 and I was like lol what like baffled how new it actually is. Dude it’s the first time I heard about that.

It was only a few months after the trip that i one day randomly started to read up on the history, like literally starting out on kids websites bc growing up i only ever just heard „it’s complicated“ making it seem like the „middle east conflict“ as they liked to call it was sooo hard to understand and you had to be sooo smart and diplomatic to have an opinion on it. and after reading up suddenly stuff I saw but didn’t question on the trip started to make sense. The huge checkpoint we went through going into jerusalem, our car full of Germans basically being waved right through without any control while i saw other cars being emptied out completely by heavily armed soldiers. We took a teen girl from Tamra to Jerusalem with us bc she liked to come along and then there were problems suddenly with BOTH our air bnb apartments and we asked the staff if we could accommodate our suitcases somewhere and just go explore the old city instead of waiting around blocking the entire lobby. first they said no you have an Arab with you (I didn’t even understand what they meant by that) then came around and let us do it after all at least. Dude she was literally a 15 yr old like 5‘3“ teenage girl. Why one of the guys from our group was detained and questioned at the airport for like 3 hours because he was born in Syria (had a German pass tho but anyway). And when we wanted to travel back the group guide prepped us for questioning and made sure we all had straight answers which I also didn’t understand the reason for - I wasn’t one of the people being asked questions but someone did truthfully tell Airport staff what we did during our stay and that we spent a week with Arab guest families and after that several suitcases SEEM to have been rummaged through (and I know bc I packed mine soooo neatly bc I bought baklava on the market the day before to bring my family and it was smashed like flattened) we did get into a storm when changing flights in Istanbul so idk maybe the suitcases really were just thrown around but for real it wouldn’t surprise me if they did control us after that.

Anyway I posted stories throughout the trip to my ig back then and just went with the first location tag that was suggested to me and looking back now, it’s all „…, israel“ when i was actually on occupied land (tel aviv jaffa haifa akka…) and I HATE IT ☺️ I can’t change it back now obviously. I don’t wanna delete the stories from my highlight tho, even tho it does make me feel kinda guilty, bc i see it as part of my journey. Quite literally. I honestly wish I could teleport back now being more educated about the situation and ask more questions, talk to more Palestinian people (like the guest families). Would I do such a trip again? Not as long as the destination on the ticket is called only israel. I genuinely hope I can visit Palestine again tho someday. But this time for real real.

[the-bi-fangirl-biatch]

go bestie expose your feelings about the ending😔✌️

before i say anything, these are my OWN opinions! no one take them as me speaking for everyone. you can either respectfully discuss in the reblogs/replies or make your own post if you disagree that much, thank you!!

everything else is under the cut bc oh gosh this is actually pretty long lmao (dw, I have a TL;DR at the end)

let me start with the LOWS of the episode and work my way to a more positive light :)))

first off, we had no resolution to the fob watch/timeless child arc. I can still understand this bit because it's part of the mystery, but it feels like there's so much plot whose ends they still haven't tied together. did she just drop the fob watch containing ALL HER PAST MEMORIES inside the TARDIS and ignore it?? did the doctor really not tell yaz about the memories? did she do that offscreen? like- what? they set up so many plots and didn't even end up continuing them like they deserve

next is how they handled sapphic ships, specifically lesbian ships. I don't know much about the classic companions but from what i've seen, tegan and nyssa are supposed to be together and ace is lesbian-coded, but what we got was retconned tyssa and ace flirting with graham?? and I also disliked how they implied that tegan's life was so dull after being left by the doctor.

they also didnt resolve thasmin at all like?? they gave yaz SO MUCH character development and it looked like her relationship with 13 was gonna have a better resolution because of how they added more of it in EOTD and LOTSD but no?? what happened to "I want to tell you everything" and "if it was gonna be anyone it would've been you"? they just ended it with a nod and walking away silently? now here, I can understand that they both don't want to say goodbye (the doctor bc she hates goodbyes and yaz bc she's holding out hope that they may see each other again) BUT we deserve more than just that. (maybe this is bc I was imagining a killing eve s3 finale-esque goodbye wherein both yaz and the doctor stop in their tracks and turn around for a final goobye kiss, but that's on me lmao)

in addition to that, why is it that the first sapphic doctor is the only one who didn't get a kiss in her entire run, when she had so much chances to kiss yaz? and please don't say "we know it's confirmed to be romantic so we don't need the kiss" bc we have had enough shipping based on subtext and post-show confirmations. i agree that physical touch doesn't define a relationship but can't we have it this once? would it be so hard to give us this on their final day?

finally, imo they hardly gave enough time for jodie to say goodbye to her role properly. it would still have been ok if the episode was only filled to the brim with classic who nostalgia, but then they made her regenerate to 10. instead of giving her (the first female doctor) or ncuti (the first black doctor) the spotlight, they decide to bring back the most popular (and most used) doctor, david tennant. don't get me wrong i LOVE david as a person, but there's a difference between bringing someone back for a cameo and overusing them. with all honesty, I'm tired of him and ten 🤷.

and not only that, they took their most popular (white male cishet) doctor, aka the one that most if not all NMDs compare jodie to, and put him at the end as a cliffhanger? like he was the one they should have been waiting for? they must know that they're diverting people's attention away from appreciating jodie's ending and ncuti's beginning. I keep seeing stuff on twitter like "finally, the good doctor who! they're gonna restore doctor who back to its formal glory! this will prove that the female doctor was a mistake!" which is UTTER BULLSHIT

now here are the HIGHS of the episode because there were a lot of them too:

I LOVED how this episode gave closure to some of the classic companions, aka tegan and ace. I squealed when ace called the doctor "professor" and I'm glad they didn't shy away from showing that a previous companion was (rightfully) upset with the doctor. and all the callbacks! the nitro 9, ace's jacket, and her bat, too. don't even get me STARTED on the "support group for former companions" because that was amazing. IAN WAS THERE?!?!? and it gives such a good open end to them, not only for future projects but also for fanfiction lmao.

the plot of this episode was impressive and fun. its length contributed significantly because it defo wouldn't have worked if it wasn't as long. I really wasnt expecting it to make as much sense as it did because it was a great undertaking, but I'm glad it did. it showed the best parts of chibnall's take on doctor who (utilizing iconic classic who elements well and his own take on history).

THE CHARACTERS!!! gahdamn I loved how they gave the characters their own jobs that only they can handle, like kate and tegan with the cybermen (bc of their history with them), ace with the daleks (same reason, her history) and yaz saving the doctor (bg their PARALLELS here I wanna bawl).

I was also obsessed with the master in this episode!! Sacha played him as such an unhinged little pathetic brat man (affectionate) but he also proved that he was more than capable of delivering powerful scenes. compare the humour of the rasputin dance sequence vs the master so desperately wanting to be the doctor because he feels lonely. he's one of the consistently great things about this episode. i will be hearing RA RA RASPUTIN on repeat in my head for the foreseeable future (as well as thirteen's theme 😭😭😭).

Yaz taking charge!!! my little badass who's grown from being unsure about facing a potential threat in s11 to kicking (the master's) ass, saving ace, flying the tardis like it was nothing, and reversing a regeneration?!?! and not to mention Mandip's acting. she's proven that she has the range of badass action, deep emotion, hilarious comedy, and just raw heart. she's amazing, showstopping, phenomenal. and out of my favourite companions, yaz is the one I connect to the most, both with her struggles (in her mental health, in growing as a person, and in learning she's queer) and her strengths (hopefully her heart, her love for friends, her courage), so to see her grow at the same time as I have is so special to me.

finally, people may disagree with me on this, but I love thirteen's regeneration speech, due to the fact that she did not do it on her own, she didnt just talk to herself on that cliffside (that was just the last bit). most of her speech was to YAZ, her companion, her friend, the one who's supposed to be the viewer's stand-in. her entire message of "goodbyes only hurt because what came before was so special, and it's been so special. no body else got to be us, no body else got to live our days, no body. and my hearts are so full of love for all of you" was not just the doctor to yaz, but jodie and mandip to us. and idc if yall don't like her last words, "Tag, you're it" is SO THIRTEEN and is instantly iconic.

TL;DR I disliked: the abandoned fob watch plot, how they handled sapphic/lesbian characters, the way they hinted at thasmin but never properly resolved them, nostalgia overtaking Jodie's time to say goodbye, and yet another doctor played by david tennant, who I think is overused I LOVED: the closure this gave to tegan and ace, both of them and kate being given unique spotlight, the Former Companion Support Group™️, Sacha Dhawan as the Master, Mandip GIll as Yaz, seeing how much yaz has grown, Jodie Whittaker as The Doctor, aaand 13's regeneration speech (which was directed to yaz and to us, not just to herself)

[lunarain0918]

Falling hard for people you've never met

Specifically made this account for my over thinking lol. Okay so 3 years I met two amazing people. To say that they changed my life is kinda an understatement, which does sound stupid. So first lets start with boy 1. boy 1 and boy 2 where bestfriends. I dont rallly remember how they met its whatevs. so me and boy 1 got really close and we texted eachother for about a year every single day. I mean there was not one second we werent talking. I never really got close to boy 2 which i knew he had some weird atraction towards me. I was also really young and naive and would let every remark that they said towards me slide. Like bro i was so blinded at it, when i first turned 19 i forgot about them somehwhat. i would still think about them from time to time. But when i first got to college i made the smartest decision to delete both of them days after they contacted me first. Now a couplde months later, i get a notification that boy 2 added me. my dumbass added him back then i think we talked for like 1 day and went back to no contact. After i turned 20 i noticed him starting to watch all my socials all the time and i wanted to text him to catch up but it was NOT worth it, so i didnt. Couple months later, i am back in college and i made the stupid decision to add boy 1 on social, which again was stupid but i did. This was like the day before spring break and me and my friend decided to be stupid that night and like stalk literally everyone and their baby mommas swear. We honestly could be like secret spys or something my god. Anyways the day of springbreak i unadded him because he didnt accept it. BLAH BLAH BLAh. anyways again one night with me and said friend i decided to text boy 2 and of course they are bestfriends so he texted boy 1 so he added me back. Also sorry if i sound incompetent in some sentences i am very gone. Anyways me and boy 2 text eveyday ish, then it started getting slower and slower and i remember getting mad at myself because i am letting this happen AGAIN sam situation different friend. Let me also explain me and boy 1 relationship was so confusing towards me because we didnt act like friends but less than a relationship typa deal. There are so many things i just now learned, three years later about boy 2 and it scared me and i told myself not to do the same shit again but i did lmao, no surprise and i hate myself for that. I tried excusing their behavor at certain time towards me, but there is only a certain limit your body can handle. It was weird that my body knew what was going to happen before i actually knew until that moment. In life your always going to meet people, and you really dont know if they are considered a lesson to teach you something, ot if they are going to be in your life completely. Which sucks because im impatiant and i always end up getting hurt. I finally started standing up for myself and not scared to speak up for myself. Thats new for me, people cant walk all over me anymore and ive never felt so alone. Let me expalin that. When you start actually saying something and people finally realize that youll sya something back is when they leave. They no longer have that power over you and they know that. I feel alone not lonely, better to not deal with people actions and not allow yourself to feel like that again. I devoted 3 years of my life towards them and im never allowing myself to be in an relationship or friendship, or whatever the fuck that was that constitely leaves me confused after every conversation. Im a new adult and i never want to go through that again, but once again i ahve a whole life ahead of me that its really inevetable, which sucks but character developemtn i guess. I do want to say that for both of them this is an apology for not meeting yall later on and not when i was so young. I think thats what kinda ruined in but i cant change anything about that. I dont regret that we met im actually glad i expirienced that with the both of them, but i think its time to move on. I say that but i know if they both texted me right now i would respond in an instant.

[fraener]

9/7/24

if i had the time to write, i would have. this past month was one of the hardest ive gone through. i didnt have a day off since before my last entry in here. im listening to stefans piano music in bed now, had dinner, painted for the first time in a really, really long time. it didnt give me the same level of enjoyment as it used to but i think id like to start doing that again every day. i had to leave work early today because my period finally came with a terrible vengance, 20 days late. the stress of the move nearly killed me i think. i lost even more weight im pretty sure, ive never been this thin. im going to try and get my thyroid tested again because im getting very worried about it. h told me he felt like i criticized him too much and was so ungrateful for all his help moving. i am not allowed to have any feelings about what happened in front of him because he feels this way. i told him he was right so hed stop yelling at me. its just yet another thing i cannot rely on him for or trust him for, i dont feel like i ever want to ask his help for anything ever again, at least not that big of a thing. it just doesnt seem like a good idea anymore and im almost glad i never let go of my suspicions around it. im too depressed to really be disappointed or saddened by it. this is just what relationships turn into for me, a strange dance of self suppression when faced with the continuous obstacle of being something foreign and unordinary in the face of what the other person wants and expects. i feel like im speaking a different language to most people. i feel so extant and as i get older it becomes less and less surprising that i feel that way. i wonder what would have happened had i been ordinary or had a shot at seeing the world in an ordinary way. i dont really think i have it in me to keep trying to find someone who will see me and understand me and love me for what and who i am. maybe thats a good thing. i dont really know. i want to lean into my uncommonness again. i am unloveable in my uncommonness, i think, but strong in it. tomorrow i think id like if i am able to go and paint on the hill above the bay and watch the little sailboats go by. for the first time in a long time im feeling reasons to return to myself rather than turn away. what am i here for? what do i like to do? i want to paint, i want to watch other people enjoy learning something new, i want to be included in or witness to someones passions, i want to find my friendship in the nonhuman again. i miss rosie so much. i miss all the animals i cant talk to anymore like ed and zoey. at least rosies still alive. and gigi is too, and tally. so many friends of mine are so far away now. learning over and over that i am so terribly lonely here! i think maybe im beyond sad about h. this hasnt been a very good relationship but i havent been well or strong or brave enough to end it even when its really bad or even when its not so aggressively bad but just so bald faced in its discrepancies that it doesnt make any sense to keep going. for some reason i keep going. for love or habit i do not know. i dont feel loveless like i did with m but i dont feel like the love is enough most days. im tired of writing in my journal about him. i want him to matter less in some ways, maybe just matter less in the darker matters of the heart. i saw o's play and we spent some time together. theyre so magical and i can see so pure as day why we didnt work out. exactly what i admire about them is the thing i cannot stand! funny how it works sometimes. im glad to see them a little again, a year from when we did last. always the end of summer with that one. i miss my apartment, my new house is quiet but lonely without my ghosts. the fellow above the doorframe threw the picture one last time at h while he was scolding me which was really funny but a bit naughty. not that h would know or understand necessarily. yes, tired and lonely. one day soon maybe ill feel a bit better, or at the very least, different.