#so many posts i'm smiling at and no ability to share them with the world even if it takes months for them to appear on the blog

[zombiedumbie]

heart-shaped box

hi everybody! i'm back with posting stuff. i finished my final paper (i still need to make a presentation, but that's the easy part), this paper made me tired of writing, so I didn't post this before, sorry! and i'm having quite a week lol (just for example, one of the things that happened to me was that i had my scalp sutured!)

~1.2k words

from this post. a lots of fluff, A LOT, TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF. no use of pronouns. organs (heart). mentions of Law's backstory and light novel.

Hey, Cora…

Law's slender fingers hovered over your chest with the same delicacy he would use to sheath the blade of his own sword with the thin blue layer of his ability. He kept it at a reasonable distance, as if trying to sense the vibration of your pulsating heart in the air. The only thing breaking the silence in the room was his breath, but your heartbeats raced into your eardrums, making the place sound louder than it should.

Both of you sat cross-legged, facing each other in a room separate from the rest of the… guests.

Law wanted it to be just you and him, no one else. You were outlaws, without the right to a traditional marriage, whatever was traditional for both of you; that's why he wanted to do it still in Wano, away from the eyes of the world.

The marriage that usually involved you, your partner, the Government, and God would this time be confined between the two of you. But you insisted; after all, you wanted to share this joy with your friends, and with Wano closed, there weren't many risks of this information leaking.

"Don't you think this happiness should be just between you and me?" Law lifted his hat and scratched his head, looking seriously at you.

"Don't you think we'll have other kinds of happiness that will be just between us?" With your response, he only hid his eyes behind the brim of his hat.

Law must have been worried about the possibility of the Straw Hat crew showing up and ruining everything. In the end, he agreed, but on the condition that the two of you had this moment alone.

You took his wrist with both hands and pulled his hand towards you, your fingers touching the kimono while his palm rested on your chest with hesitation.

"Law…"

"Are you sure?" He murmured and lifted his eyes from your chest to your face; that golden gaze was unwavering, covered with a layer of uncertainty, though. His fingers trembled, perhaps out of insecurity or the weakness of removing his own heart.

You didn't say anything, just pulled him into a kiss; your thumb stroked just below his eyes, the skin warming under your digits with each second you kept your lips pressed together. That was a perfect confirmation for him. When you separated, you smiled at him and turned your back to Law.

"You already took yours", he laughed lightly.

"Not as if it's difficult to put it back", he replied, and you looked at him over your shoulder. "Room."

Law tilted you slightly down; his arm was around your torso, and his open hand was on the upper part of your chest to hold you. You embraced his arm and took a deep breath, letting your body relax. "Are you ready?" He asked, the phalanges of his fingers stroking your back calmly; you nodded and closed your eyes.

"Mes", he whispered and tapped the bottom of his hand on your back, on the left side. You felt your body weaken before the light blue box fell from your chest; he was skillful in catching your heart with the hand that was on your back.

You gasped for air; Law sat you upright as your body adjusted. That, in the hands of your fiancé, beating faintly, was your heart, out of your chest, right in front of you. The idea was so absurd that you would refuse to believe it if you didn't know about Law's powers and hadn't seen them before.

You lowered your kimono and felt your chest; there was now an empty, square space, open; you felt like you could pass your hand through it, but you didn't want to test it due to the nauseating sensation of just feeling the hole.

"Are you okay?" He asked, placing a hand on your shoulder, his eyes once again staring at you with the same rigidity; your gaze fell to your heart in his hand. You just nodded.

Law nodded too and placed your heart on the small table next to you, right next to his, on top of a cloth. You sighed, watching the two hearts beating at different rhythms, slightly different in size, but still, two hearts.

They were fragile but valuable, pumping the blood that magically flowed through your veins, even outside your bodies; it was even a bit mesmerizing to watch them, but Law didn't seem very surprised, after all, he had seen at least a hundred of them.

Law gently picked up his own heart, placing it in the palm of his hand. He turned it as if he found the best position, something you didn't think would matter, but he was a perfectionist, so you didn't bother saying anything. Your mouth went dry when you swallowed, and he approached, his eyes on yours again, looking for any sign of hesitation to stop immediately.

"Ready?" He asked in a whisper, and you were so excited that you just nodded.

The man took a breath and exhaled with deliberate slowness, his hands approaching your chest carefully. The small light blue box holding the heart fit so perfectly into the hole in your chest that you wondered if that wasn't yours; he stopped halfway, looking at you.

You responded with a smile, enough to remind him that this was as symbolic as exchanging rings and could be undone as easily; but you still accepted his idea without even asking questions, without asking for a ring or laughing at his idea—a smile enough to remind him that you understood all the symbolism and importance of this and that you accepted who he was, no matter what. With that, he finished pushing the box into your chest, closing the hole and restoring the skin as magically as it was removed.

The sensation was strange; it was like having two hearts in the same place. You could still feel your own heart pounding frantically, while you also felt Law's heart inside the chest, beating against your ribs, settling against your lung, beating as rapidly as yours, not in the same rhythm, but in the same frequency.

"T-This is… funny", you said with a smile, your hand on the place where Law's heart now resided.

With trembling hands, you held the organ ripped from you, beating rapidly against its confinement; the small light blue capsule was somewhat gelatinous and a bit smooth, seemed very malleable, but at the same time resistant.

"Relax", Law whispered to you, the corners of his lips curving upwards gently. "Let me help you", he asked, adjusting the small box in your hands, turning it, pointing to the left side. "These are your right atrium and pulmonary artery, they should be turned to your left, so they will fit correctly", he pointed as he spoke, and you just nodded.

With the tips of his fingers under your hand, he guided you to the hole in his chest, where the box fit perfectly. When you looked at him, he was smiling, not the same smile he gave when he was boasting or teasing someone, it was a genuine smile of happiness, one that you saw a few times but loved every time.

You felt like crying when you fitted the box containing your heart in the place that would reside for the rest of your life, where you lived for so long, in the core of the person you loved the most. When the skin covered the hole in, now, your husband's chest, you felt as if you were receiving the most intimate hug you had ever received—and could never receive again.

You hugged him, feeling the warmth of your tears warming your face; Law also cried silently, but unlike the tears of cold nights, there was a warm feeling in his chest, maybe from the new location of his heart, but the joy you felt was genuine.

His head rested on your shoulder, you felt his heart gradually calming down in your chest as he enveloped you in a warm hug, pulling you into his lap.

Law could still feel the cold of that night, how the snowstorm blurred his vision, the sound of the lines cutting the ground, how humid that chest was. He felt like he had spent all the years that followed trapped in that memory, walking through the forest, crying desperately while looking for the nearest town. However, in recent times, the snowstorm seemed weaker.

Until he reached the nearest town, right when Doflamingo finally hit the ground. When he found himself comfortable in the bed of a kind stranger, he finally understood the reasons for his savior. And when he drank that warm soup after years of hunger, his heart was finally at home, protected by your ribs.

"Law…" you whispered. "I love you."

Your now husband (husband!) put his hands on your shoulders and pulled away from you a little, so you could see his face; there was a smile so wide that his eyes closed, and you could only smile back at the sight. "I love you."

… I'm home.

[totalswag]

Hello lovely I love ur writing abt Drew & Reader actresse sweetheart it's so good <3 I have a little request to make to you if you don't mind, Drew react to the Reader acting in the horror film masterpiece (like the movies Suspiria and Climax vibes) of which she's a part of the main cast

I'm just curious if he would be terrified or blown away by this kind of role that she plays like this one or not ;) thank u !!!

unbelievable performance — DREW STARKEY

authors note aw thank you lovie! that means so much to me. by the time you are reading this, my second fic with drew x actress!reader is out (the first date). i have never seen either movies that you listed in your request but i did look them up to get a gist.

summary drew was impressed by your performance in your latest horror film.

warnings mentions of kissing, horror films

masterlist

Tonight marks the premiere of your new horror film, in which you star with some amazing actors. After many hours of continuous filming, sequences are officially wrapped. You're extremely proud of yourself and your casemates. 

You were the staring lead in the movie. Getting the part after auditioning was a blessing in disguise. This being your very first staring lead role in any movie you’ve been in, you were so proud of yourself.

Everyone is seated in the theater. Drew, your boyfriend, also came with you. The entire cast stood in front of the stage as your director discussed the film a bit.

You shifted your focus to Drew, who was already looking at you in admiration, which made you smile and making you blush.

When you stepped up to your seat, he leaned down to your ear and whispered, "I want you to know that I'm so proud of you, and I know you did an amazing job on this movie," before kissing the top of your head.

“I love you baby, so much” you answer with your voice already starting to crack before tears wanted to burst out.

“Me more.”

Drew was so excited to watch his beautiful girlfriend on the big screen. Non-stop talking about the movie with you and his predictions on what will happen.

Everyone in the theater began to applaud as soon as the lights went out. Drew's hand moved easily down your thigh and gave it a little squeeze. Your skin began to tingle from his touch.

The movie begins with a hauntingly beautiful dance routine in which the camera swirls around the dancers in a way that is both captivating and unnerving. Drew is instantly captivated. As the story progresses, he observes your character navigating a world fraught with psychological pain and supernatural fear.

Half way through the movie, it’s been jaw dropping and incredible.

He is always on the edge of his seat in every situation you are in. You capture the dread and lunacy of the film's twisted narrative with an unvarnished and honest performance.

He's afraid and enthralled with the story at the same time, amazed at your ability to portray such raw emotion. Never once did he take his eyes off the screen.

The way the movie came out was unbelievable. The editors did wonders on this movie and made it into something viewers will want to keep watching.

Once you two arrived home after eating dinner at the after party, Drew and you took a shower together in your shared bathroom, changed into pajamas, then went into bed with the tv playing.

Later that night, back at home, Drew can't stop talking about the movie.

"You know, watching you in that role allowed me to see a completely other side of you. You were fierce, vulnerable, and incredibly compelling. "It was like watching an acting masterclass."

You laugh quietly and rest your head on his shoulder. "It means a lot hearing you say that. I was concerned about how you would react."

"Are you kidding?" I loved it. "I'm just glad I wasn't watching it alone in the dark," he jokes.

my taglist!

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[mrs-snape5984]

“As long as I'm with you, I've got a smile on my face…”

“Save your tears, it'll be okay. All I know is you're here with me…” (“Here with me” by D4vd)

Suffering from ME/CFS makes me feel like my whole world is falling apart in front of my eyes. Since I’ve already lost so much joy and so many abilities due to this devastating disease, my continuing loss seems to increase even further.

As some of you might know, do I love to write my own stories about Severus and Julia just as much as I enjoy using my tumblr blog as some kind of journal, whenever I’ve commissioned another artwork. It’s my way of rolling out a red carpet for the artists of Snapedom…it’s my way of honouring them for their talent in their profession. Commissioning those amazing people and letting them make my ideas and fantasies come to life, is my very own manner of coping with my physical and emotional pain.

And now, this coping mechanism seems to crumble into pieces as well as everything else, that I’ve already lost! It hurts me to admit, that my brain fog takes advantage of my capability to create vivid images with my words. My thoughts are getting blurry and chaotic. I’m struggling to find the right words to express my emotions (it’s even worse in my native language German than in English!!)…and this scares me to hell!

My mind was the only place, where I could find some shelter from my infuriating and terrifying reality of losing myself to ME/CFS. What if I forfeit my only - just barely existing- talent now?? How should I flee this nightmare of existence if writing wouldn’t be an option anymore?! How should I express my gratitude towards all those marvellous artists of Snapedom, who are all weaving my emotional comfort blanket with each piece of their art?!?

I don’t want to give up on my writing…and I won’t…even though my pride would probably fade away with each badly written chapter of my fictions…and with each unworthy post on my blog. I must admit, that I’m already acknowledging the loss of quality. 🥺

I found an inspiring poem about the importance of staying resilient, no matter how difficult the hardships of life might become, and I want to share it with you:

"KEEP GOING" (Better known as "DON'T QUIT") by Edgar A. Guest

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and debts are high, And you want to smile but have to sigh.

When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but DON'T YOU QUIT!

Life is queer with its twists and turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won if he'd stuck it out, Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You might succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up, When he might captured the victor's cup.

And he learned too late, when the night slipped down, How close he was to the golden crown,

Success is failure turned inside out, The silver tint on clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems afar,

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit, It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

My dear @mmad-lover, I can’t stress enough how grateful I am for your dedication to this stunning piece of art and believe me, it was worth every single second of waiting! Paula, I was incredibly touched to hear, that my request seemed to be something special, something personal to you. I can assure you, that, indeed, all of my ideas have a profound meaning to me and I’m glad that you’re such an empathetic person, who sensed that particular importance of your art to me. Your devotion to this drawing is palpable in every single detail, every line of your brushes. You created exactly the mood, that I wished for Severus and Julia. It doesn’t matter that the world is burning to the ground around them, they will always have each other’s backs! Just like I’m relying on Severus for more than 21 years now. Thank you for everything, you precious soul! I’m glad that I met you and I hope, we’ll stay in touch. 🥹

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[npcemi]

Here's that little quick piece I promised in my last post. Here is the chronological start of my planned multiverse. Though it all really started when My KP fic and how a part of that started event in cigarettes and valentine's.(my life is strange and Dr who crossover) now it's all got away from me and I digress. big thanks to the danny phantom and DC fandoms for giving me a great anchor point. Anyway like I said when I get out of the hospital I'll work on getting everything else updated. Here's the fic:

The long road of how starting a fight with superman over clone parenting eventually lead to Danny Phantom become God:

Danielle “Dani with an I” Phantom, the clone of Amity Park’s local ghost vigilante Danny Phantom, decided to start a clone support group. Dani had experienced firsthand the struggles and challenges that came with being a clone, and she wanted to create a safe space where clones from various backgrounds could come together and share their experiences.

Word spread quickly, and soon, they gathered at one of Danny’s safe houses he loaned to Danielle. She also had help so each member only had to go to a specific room at a nearby community center. Her father’s ghost abilities and Mama Sam’s Magic would take care of the rest to turn the doors into temporary portals that would bring each member to the safe house. Among the members who arrived were Linda Danvers, a clone of Supergirl, Conner Kent, a clone of Superman, and Jarro, a Starro clone.

Danielle welcomed everyone with a warm smile. "Thank you all for being here today. I created this little group so we can share our stories, support each other and just be there for each other. Being a clone can be difficult. I know that as well as anyone. Let's start by introducing ourselves, I'll go first.”

“I’m Danielle Phantom but you can call me Dani, that’s Dani with an I, and I am a clone of Danny Phantom. I was created because some fruit loop wanted Danny as a son and when he couldn’t get that he made me and then tried to get me to kill my original and his parents. Obviously that didn’t work out and now Danny and I are on really good terms!”

Jarro floated gently in the air before psychically speaking "I'm Jarro, a clone of Starro. Being a clone means constantly battling stereotypes and misconceptions. People assume I'm evil because of my origin, but I strive to prove them wrong every day."

Linda Danvers raised her hand and spoke next. "I'm Linda, a clone of Supergirl. Being her clone makes me feel as if I’m constantly living in the shadow of my original. People expect me to live up to her legacy, but I'm still figuring out who I am as an individual." Linda received many nods as they could truly empathize with her on living in the shadow of their original.

Linda Danvers took a deep breath, her eyes softened to reflect her vulnerability. "Being a clone of Supergirl has been a constant struggle for me,"

She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts. "The truth is…I'm still trying to figure out who I am. I have my own dreams, desires, and flaws. It's hard to escape the comparisons and the feeling that I'm somehow a mere shadow of my original"

Linda glanced around the room, meeting the compassionate gazes of her fellow clones. "I often find myself wondering if I'm destined to live in her shadow forever. But being here with all of you, hearing your stories and struggles, gives me hope."

She continued, "I don't want to be defined solely by being a clone. I want to be Linda Danvers.."

Conner Kent could definitely understand how Linda felt. Conner’s stomach turned as Linda’s words hammered in the truth of his own relationship with the man of steel.

Danielle reached out, placing a reassuring hand on Linda's shoulder. "Linda, you're not alone. It can be a lot to remind ourselves and the world that our worth isn't determined by the circumstances of our creation. But that’s why we’re here, so we can support each other.”

“Thanks,” Linda smiled at Danielle’s reassurances.

Conner took a deep breath, his voice tinged with a mixture of sadness and anger. "I... I'm Conner Kent, a clone of Superman," he began, his gaze fixed on the ground. "But my relationship with Superman has been anything but what I expected. Instead of acceptance and guidance, I've faced rejection."

He looked up, meeting the eyes of his fellow clones. "Superman has never treated me as an equal. He sees me as a flawed imitation, a violation against his bodily autonomy. He constantly compares me to himself, highlighting how I will never be him. I’m not him, I’m me. My own person. I just wish he could understand that, it’s not like I asked to be created.” Conner’s voice rose with rage until he slumped back down, his voice damping in his own personal defeat.

A surge of anger coursed through the room. Danielle Phantom's expression hardened. "No one deserves to be treated that way," she said firmly.

"Conner, you are more than just a replica. You have your own strengths, your own worth. You don't need Superman's validation to prove that."

Linda Danvers spoke up "Conner, your value isn't determined by Superman's actions or opinions. Honestly it sounds like he is being a dick about the whole thing,"

Jarro joined in. "No one has the right to treat you as less than who you are. Conner, you should be treated with respect and dignity as any person would expect"

Conner’s eyes glistened with gratitude. "Thank you all. Your words and support mean more to me than you can imagine," he said, Danielle looked at Conner, "if you want me to do something about it, I can try to talk to my dad," she offered.

Conner looked at Danielle, confusion in his eyes. "You can do something? Like what?" he asked,

Danielle smiled mischievously, knowing exactly what she meant but choosing her words carefully. "Let's just say my dad has his ways of dealing with situations," she replied,

Linda, sensing the unspoken desire, arched an eyebrow and leaned closer. "Danielle, what are you thinking?" she whispered.

Danielle chuckled softly before responding, her voice barely above a whisper. "Let me talk to my dad, he might have a unique perspective on this situation."

Jarro floated closer, his curiosity piqued. "What are you saying…," he started, only to be interrupted by Danielle's raised hand “I have a feeling that my dad might be able to provide some guidance or at least offer a... different perspective."

“After all my dad, Danny Phantom has experience being the one cloned and he doesn’t like it when clones are treated badly, no not at all.” Dani shook her head silently laughing at what her father’s ‘talk’ with Superman would most likely entail.

As Danielle revealed her secret, a collective gasp filled the room, followed by a mix of surprise and awe on the faces of Linda, Conner, and Jarro. Linda was the first to find her voice. "Wait, you mean to say that Danny Phantom actually adopted you as his daughter?" Danielle nodded, a warm smile spreading across her face. "Yes, he did. After finding out about me, he took me in and treated me as his own. Danny has been an amazing dad to me. He provides love, and support, just like any other parent.”

Conner's eyes widened with astonishment. "That's incredible."

Danielle's smile turned somewhat sheepish. "It honestly is incredible. Sometimes, though, he can be a little overprotective.”

Jarro floated closer, intrigued by this newfound information. "A protective father, huh? I guess I know how that feels. My adoptive father is like that as well."

Conner gave a soft smile. "Your bond with your dad is inspiring. It gives me hope that not all clones have to face rejection and mistreatment.” The “like me” at the end of Conner's sentence, went unspoken.

“Exactly, and I’m sure my dad can talk some sense into Superman.” Dani grinned.

[sapphosewrites]

top 10 ds9 fan fics you've written, ranked?

Oooh, tough question, friend! I don't even know what the criteria for this would be, because the most AO3 popular ones are not always my favorites... Okay, you know what, here we go. I'm just going to go for it and make some decisions. I'm giving myself a rule, though, that I can only chose one from a series, so I'm not just listing everything in the Terok Nor AU. I'll also try to hit different kinds of fics I've written.

10.) After the End of the World: A Survey of Seminal Works of Cardassian Post-Apocalyptic Literature from cross-posted to tumblr. 533 words, "An examination of the Cardassian post-apocalyptic literary genre before and after the Dominion War." This isn't my most popular or my best written but it's one of my favorites; I like in-world diegetic texts and worldbuilding and I'm obsessed with the idea of post-canon Cardassia as post-apocalypse.

9.) Never Have I Ever from The Game Is Afoot, 1,294 words, T, "Julian introduces Garak to the human game never have I ever." This was fun to write and is fun to reread every time! I often spend a lot of fic space on angst and identity and all the reasons why it's a bad idea for Julian and Garak to get together, but in this one we just get to spend time seeing them be clever and enjoy each other's company.

8.) Tribbles, Togetherness, and the Great River, 1,742 words, G, "In their shared quarters, Nog and Jake discuss tribbles, pets, and telling their families about their relationship." This is my only full standalone Jake/Nog fic, and it's another that was a pleasure to write and still makes me smile. It's fun to spend a sweet moment with two young people figuring out how they fit together.

7.) Del Floria's Tailor Shop, 336 words, also known as the space tumblr one. I think this is possibly the funniest thing I've ever written.

6.) Push Me Til I Break, 4,653 words, M, also known as the one where Garak interrogates Julian, and the role play goes wrong. Maybe the most tense thing I've ever written, and really leans into the ways in which two deeply hurting people can choose to hurt or hold.

5.) Growth, 45,843 words, T, "Julian and Garak grapple with their pasts and their feelings for each other at the end of the series." My super long post-canon Cardassia fic, back when I had no idea how to string a multi-chapter idea together. There's a lot I would change if I wrote this now (I've grown as a writer in many ways, including my ability to have scene transitions), but some of the conversations and moments in here are still absolute favorites of mine, particularly around ideas of self-forgiveness, the clash between values and actions, and the importance of choice.

4.) Predetermination, 22,200 words, T, Mirror Bashir arrives at the station and suddenly the nature/nurture debate has never had higher stakes. This is one of the places I think I've been most successful in using sci fi to ask big questions that hopefully resonate in the modern day, about who we are and how we become. Also, the ending takes inspiration from one of my favorite TNG episodes, and that was cool too.

3.) Especially the Lies, 13,019 words, T, "Something is going on with Garak, and no one knows what, except for possibly Julian Bashir." This is my only archive-warning-applied fic and it was really important to me to tell a story about care, for a character who I think doesn't believe he's allowed to have any, in a real world circumstance that too often people have to go through alone.

2.) Necessary Storms, 15,149 words, T, Julian and Starfleet Spouse Garak get entangled in Trill politics. I feel like this is one of the things I've written that most feels like it could be an episode of Star Trek, and is also a fairly unsubtle (though initially unintentional) way to explore populism, demagoguery, resource distribution, and revolt at a very particular moment in national politics with the aesthetic distance that sci fi offers.

1.) Old Friends: An Enigma Tale from Terok Nor AU. I'm exceedingly proud of this whole series, which started as just "what can I do with the idea of dabo boy Julian" and has turned into a sweeping journey covering how Terok Nor becomes Deep Space 9. This most recent installment is perhaps not indicative of the series as a whole, but it was a lot of fun to write and is also a dip into my other favorite genre aside from sci fi (murder mystery).

[uhgood-girl]

someone (hi, @sweetjikook, careful what you ask for, idk if this is what you wanted lol) asked me what my thoughts are on current jikook in my last post and in an attempt to not be redundant with all of the information already out there, all i can really think about is offering everyone some insight/context on a situation that i know a lot of people probably don't have experience with but i do.

have you ever been in relationship you had to hide?

but between just you and me, having everyone convinced i'm really bad at it is part of the self defense mechanism i built in a long time ago to make sure that when i have to lie, about the more serious things, the things that matter, no one can call my bluff. because i'm actually really good at it. i wasn't given a choice not to be.

how good of a liar are you? me, personally, if you were to ask, i would tell you i'm an awful one. just absolutely no good, can't control my face, i have skin that's prone to blushing (me + seokjin = 1 whole tomato), and even if i manage to get the lie out, it won't take me long to break. and these days, for the most part, that is delightfully true. most of my lies now are white or just silly, meant to be discovered immediately. i have significantly less to lose and am in a space that doesn't require that sort of skill in me anymore.

having to pretend you don't love someone when you really, really do is not for the faint of heart. for every moment alone you can steal together, those precious hours, or if you're lucky days, where no one else is around and you can finally let out all of the pent up affection and desire just to be close to each other that has been building up for who knows how long, there is far more time simply spent alone. alone, as in by yourself and then the type of alone in a crowded room, your partner visible and right there, but as good as miles away for all the ability you have to be near them how you would prefer to be. it's a special sort of hell, to be frank, and the only reason it's worth it is if you and the other person can some how make it work in spite. and i do mean in spite, because there are so many things to spite in those circumstances, but i digress.

truthfully (lol okay, but really), i think when you can ignore the reasons you're having to do it in the first place, there's something rather romantic about hiding. i'm not the first person to write about it and think so. it really does heighten the whole relationship experience. every secret smile shared, every touch stolen, every love letter slipped between the pages of a book passed back and forth in the hall, between classes, (don't romanticize your trauma, folks. do as i say, not as i do) it's low key addictive.

you know when you're in a group and someone says something bizarre and your eyes find your partner already staring back at you with an expression that confirms you're both thinking the exact same thing? that lightning zap of recognition down your spine, a warmth rushing your head and chest because there are few greater feelings than to know and be known, dearly, intimately? it's a little like that, but every single time you look at each other because what you're sharing, it's always a secret. and when it's just you and someone else against the world, it fosters a very specific type of camaraderie and trust, because there are real stakes at play if you mess up. if you are discovered, you risk safety, reputation, and worst case scenario permanent separation, just to name a few.

now, before we continue, i want to take a second and make sure you're not letting any potential preconceived notions about lying, that it's always bad, that thou shall not do it, whatever, cast any sort of moral judgements on the liar. we don't have time or room for that here. if you've never been in an environment where lying was required of you at the risk of yours or worse, someone you love, their well-being, good for you, i hope that never changes. but i ask that you take a second to recognize that lying is not always a negative, deceit not always malicious in intent.

you know who i think is a really good liar? jungkook. are you surprised? good, he's doing it right. call it "it takes one to know one" maybe, but i've watched our little baby star candy get wise fast over the years and at this point, he's got hiding in plain sight (i'm sorry, it's too applicable, iykyk) aka lying by omission down pat. he and i think everyone else involved, actually, knows that most people are going to go out of their way to explain his and jimin's actions as something else. homophobia in this case is both the sword and shield, as is the convenient culture of skinship and the rest of bangtan's puppy tornado physical affection with each other. i'm not saying they wouldn't be like that anyway, i think they would, i'm just saying it's a very convenient smokescreen for people trying to hide otherwise.

also, i'm not trying to make anyone here sound like some sort of evil mastermind, but it's my own personal theory that a lot of the more incriminating situations we've seen on camera were on purpose. whether pushed by jikook themselves (ehh) or the company (probably the latter, bc they're sure as hell in the know), i think something like having an obvious hickey and the culprit's admitting to it was a bit of a boundary test to see just how much they could get away with. people are explaining it away as something totally normal between friends? excellent, write that down.

i, for one, am glad for it. someone out of that pairing needs to be good at it and it is not mr. park lol. jimin is great at so so many things, look, i think he's a slytherin too, but just cunning and ambition does not a good liar make. his "flaw" is his sincerity, he means things too much. it's why those early years of him crushing on jk feel so painfully palpable. it's why you're not going to catch him in a live with the other man, at least not a spontaneous one, anytime soon. (he can't even play it cool in the comments, be so for real right now. on that note, jk isn't necessarily playing it cool either in those lives, but people are faster to write his actions off like i discussed above, for whatever reason suits them, and he knows it.) jimin protects himself and jk by not putting himself in unplanned situations where he's forced to lie to anyone's face (if he can help it) in the first place. it's one of the reasons we've gotten, imo, some of the most insightful answers about jikook from him directly (i love waking up and seeing him, i would want to have him with me if i was stranded on an island, etc.) because if you put him on the spot, 9 times out of 10 he's going to tell some form of the truth.

jk means things too, please don't think i'm accusing him of being disingenuous, i just think he's filled in for what jimin lacks and in this case and particular situation, jimin lacks a single false bone in his body. and really good partnerships have that sort of synchronicity, no? it's one of the reasons i think they work so well, why they've made it this far. that, and i really do think they have all of bangtan and the company behind them too, but that's a different post.

so, my thoughts overall on current jikook aren't really all that different from the perception i have had of them over the last few years. i think they're together and experiencing all of the ups and downs that come with every long term relationship with the unfortunate added pressure of not being able to be open about it (+ being world famous idols + living in an openly homophobic country + impending enlistment ++++ a 100 other things. the cards are really stacked here, sadly.) though, because of idol culture, it's not like they could be open even if they were in het relationships, something that i think is both shitty but also helps them in the long run. and again, i have been in this long enough now that i don't really sweat "evidence" that comes out against them while they are still being loud in their own way. if anything, depending on what it is, i like it because it is further cover for a couple with a whole hell of a lot to potentially lose if they're genuinely exposed. (when i say i like it, this does not include videos of jk potentially being stalked. and my shortest response i could give you in regard to those videos are 1. if it's him, fuck those videos and the people who filmed them, i hope you rot, i didn't see anything that makes me change my opinion of jikook. 2. if it's not him, fuck those responsible and the whole concept still but more ground cover for jikook at least.)

this too is why i'm not particularly bothered by people shipping them with other members. i know i keep emphasizing it, but when the name of the game here is HIDE, every misdirection is a boon. if tae wants to get on live and talk about jk and how close they are, knowing that it will cause a certain faction of people to be loud afterward, so be it. those are literally his best friends/brothers and if taking some of the heat lets them slip further into the background, tae has shown himself to be extremely protective of those he cares about and uniquely clever (now, whether jikook still want him to be doing that at this point can be debated, but i still think his overall intentions are probably good. though don't get me started on how that misdirection is potentially working in his own favor as well lol)

end of day, being in a relationship you have to hide is really fucking hard. it is stressful and painful and heartbreaking and you spend so much time terrified for yourself and your partner that on long nights when you are alone again and you have cried yourself to exhaustion for the nth time, you wonder if it's really worth it, if maybe the purest act of love you could give someone is just letting them go. and if you are unlucky, as i was, the choice is eventually taken away from you altogether. your relationship ends because the world steps in and puts mountains between you and this is not fiction but real life, so you are young and powerless to do anything about it. i wouldn't wish it on an enemy, much less people i really care for. if i'm being really super duper honest here, sometimes the thought of jikook not actually being in a relationship feels like relief to me.

obviously i dont think our situations are perfectly comparable, the main thing being they've kind of already made it. they're adults with their own homes and money and elaborate support systems that seem to include their family and closest friends. if they were exposed tomorrow, who's to say it would even ruin their careers, bangtan have made such an impact on the world at this point it's not a sure thing. but still. it would hurt, needlessly so. it wouldn't be a walk in the park by any means. even if they ever come out on their own, on their own terms, it won't be easy and i simply wish the world was not that way. i think it's really fucking stupid that the world is still this way.

so i know for me, personally, if we ever get confirmation that they're not together...okay. i think my heart will simultaneously clench and unclench. i think i will secretly maintain that they were together at some point, honestly you can snatch that belief from my cold dead hands, but i will not be upset that two people i (parasocial? we still don't know her) care deeply for are suddenly at less a certain type of risk of being harmed.

but until they stop being so loud for anyone paying attention on main, i will be right here, rooting for them to beat the odds. if anyone could, i think it's them.

[diana-bookfairchild]

Reading Cast Long Shadows post The Last Hours freaking SLAPS.

Matthew’s usual good humor had already been sorely tried. His best friend, James, was being blamed for the incident, simply because James happened to have a tiny, insignificant amount of demon blood and the— Matthew thought prodigiously lucky—ability to transform into a shadow. James was being expelled. The actual people to blame, unmitigated wart Alastair Carstairs and his rotten friends, were not being expelled.

Prodigiously lucky, indeed. Also, one of your other best friends has a crush on that unmitigated wart. That's why he idolizes him.

While I'm sure the James and Matthew's reactions to Thomastair at this point would be both hilarious and devastating, I'm really glad it didn't come out till The Last Hours when they're more different, more willing to acknowledge that Alastair might be different from the boy they knew.

I think I've seen a fic or two dealing with Gideon and Sophie finding out that their son's boyfriend had spread rumours about Gideon and Charlotte. They're always fun when done well.

Matthew’s smile spread. It was an extraordinarily engaging expression. His warmth was closer to the surface than Charlotte’s, Jem thought. He had never been taught to close himself off, to do anything but delight and trust in the world.

My poor Matthew.

His generation had suffered so they could bring the next one forth into a better world, but now it occurred to Jem that those children, taught to expect love and walk fearless through shadows, would be shocked and betrayed by disaster. Some of them might be broken. Pray disaster never came.

Yeah, Jem, because that always works.

Matthew had his doubts about Cordelia Carstairs. Lucie was going to be parabatai with Cordelia one day, when the Clave decided they were grown-up ladies who knew their own minds. Lucie and James were acquainted with Cordelia from childhood adventures that Matthew had not been part of, and which Matthew felt a bit jealous about. Cordelia must have some redeeming qualities, or Lucie would not want her for a parabatai, but she was Alastair Loathly Worm Carstairs’s sister, so it would be strange if she was entirely amiable. “She sent me a picture of herself in her latest. This is Cordelia,” Lucie continued in tones of pride. “Is she not the prettiest girl you ever saw?” “Oh, well,” said Matthew. “Perhaps.” He was privately surprised by the picture. He would have thought Alastair’s sister might share Alastair’s unpleasant look, as if he were eating lemons he looked down on. She did not. Instead Matthew was reminded of a line in a poem James had read to him once, about an unrequited love. “That child of shower and gleam” described the vivid face laughing up at him from the frame exactly.

Poem about UNREQUITED LOVE. As much as I hated the Matthew/Cordelia/James love triangle (though can it really be counted as one, since I don't think many people actually believed Matthew had a chance, not in the least Matthew?) this is so on the nose.

Matthew suspected he had a secret love. He sometimes wondered whether James would have confided in him if he had been a different sort of person, more seriousminded and dependable.

The Mask! And more evidence that Matthew's self-esteem issues long preceded the incident.

Matthew decided to give unrequited love a try. He stared out the window with all the pensive force he could muster. He was preparing to pass a hand across his fevered brow and murmur, “Alas, my lost love,” or some other such rot when he was abruptly rapped upon the head with a book

With how much he ponders on unrequited love, is it a wonder he gets into it so often? Especially with the self-esteem issues like thinking James wouldn't have asked him to be parabatai if he hadn't done it first (and I don't think he would have, from what I remember of Nothing But Shadows but not because of Matthew not being good enough, but simply not imagining the prospect).

When Jamie was a little boy, he had his own beloved special spoon. The family always reminisced about this. It embarrassed Jamie to death, especially when Uncle Gabriel presented him with a spoon at family gatherings. Uncles thought all sorts of sorry jests were a fine idea. Jamie kept the spoons Uncle Gabriel gave him. When asked why, he said it was because he loved his uncle Gabriel. James was able to say such things with a sincerity that would shame anyone else. After James said that, Uncle Will loudly asked what was the point in even having a son, but Uncle Gabriel looked touched.

This is nothing to do with TLH, I just love this so, so much. Though reading the part about Gabriel not understanding Christopher is hard post knowing about Christopher's young death.

Charles had bolted out of his chair and was shouting for help. He turned back in the doorway, staring at his parents with a wretched expression that was very unlike him. “I knew how it would be, Portaling back and forth from London to Idris so that Matthew could be near his precious parabatai—”

Blaming Matthew for something he has nothing to do with, when Matthew is actually looking for guidance?? Really, Charles? And I thought his behaviour towards Alastair and Ari was bad enough.

James would not let his parabatai travel any shadowy paths alone. No matter what catastrophe came, Jem believed the son had as great a heart as his father.

James does have a heart like that, as much as The Midnight Heir might have advertised otherwise (and even then, James' cruelty was from sorrow and his supposed damnation). And yet Matthew did have to travel shadowy paths alone, for a long time, until finally he didn't, thanks to the Gracelet and the Mask.

But at least ultimately he had a somewhat happy ending. I can't wait to read the Matthew novella.

Bonus from Every Exquisite Thing:

He had been like this a lot in recent weeks—what was fun and light about Matthew had taken on an edge. On some level, she felt a bit of worry rising. But this was Matthew, and he did not do well under confinement. Perhaps the summer night had just gotten his spirits particularly high.

[savebylou]

Happy Birthday Niall.

I wanted to write something for the last day of 13 days of Niall Horan 2024.

Niall went to The X Factor at 16 years old and said in his audition "I'm ready to fill arenas around the world, sell albums", he had big dreams, with his talent, work and dedication he made them come true and he keeps making a reality so many dreams of him, like recently selling out Madison Square Garden (2 times) & The O2. I think this is only the beginning for Niall.

When I think of Niall I think of a beautiful voice, with wonderful songs, a guitar in his hands, a smile in his face of how much he loves to perform.

Watching Niall this tour has been such a wonderful experience, you can see how every show he comes to live, how his eyes shine so bright and how happy he is to see his fans singing the songs that he wrote and that he dream to perform. He always makes sure to thank the crew for their work & the fans for their support.

Niall's songs are like a hug for your mind, heart and soul, not a lot of artists have the ability to do that.

I'm thankful for Niall that he has share part of him all of this years. I wishing all the good things in this world for him and I can't wait to keep following his journey to see how he will keep shining his talent to the world.

Happy birthday Niall.

13 Days of Niall Horan 2024: Day 13. Birthday post.

[darkstar225]

Twice's 10th member has rizz ft Big Sis Tzuyu

A/N: Heyyy, I'm coming up with a lot of stuff for you guys so I can make up for the time I'm gone lol! Sry for taking so long to post :D I hope that the anon who gave me this idea on Tumblr likes it!

The request: hey, can I request something?.. the request is. The 10th member got nickname as 'star' and in fanmeeting there are some fan said 'you are the brightest star I ever seen' Rizz I knew so the 10th member rizz back 'i don't want to be the brightest star for you but I want to be the longest star that brighting for you' cheezy I know but unfortunately the member (tzuyu) beside her is heard what she said and probably tease her

PS: Tysm for everyone who reads what I write, I hope I can bring a smile to your faces every time I post! I'd like to thank whoever sent me this idea 'cause I loved to write it <3

__________________________________________________________

It was a bustling Saturday evening in Seoul, and TWICE had just taken the stage for a fan meeting. The venue was filled with eager fans, all hoping to catch a glimpse of their favourite idols and share a brief moment with them. Among the members, Y/N, the 10th and youngest member, had earned a nickname from her fans: star.

The nickname had come about because of the younger girl's radiant smile and bright personality, which seemed to shine like a star to her fans. She was known for her infectious laughter and her ability to light up any room. Her fellow TWICE members often teased her about her nickname, but the maknae took it in stride.

As the fan meeting progressed, the unnies engaged with their fans, sharing stories, laughter, and even shedding a few tears. Y/N was always excited to connect with the people who had supported her and her group, and she was known for her heartfelt interactions.

During a break in the event, TWICE's sunshine found herself answering questions from the fans. The atmosphere was electric, and the crowd was eager to hear her thoughts. One fan, in particular, stood out in the crowd, holding a sign that read: 

You are the brightest star I have ever seen.

Y/N's heart swelled with gratitude as she read the sign. It was moments like these that reminded her of the deep connection she shared with her fans. She picked up the microphone and responded with a heartfelt message. 

Y/N - Thank you so much for your love and support. It means the world to me. But I don't want to be the brightest star for you. I want to be the longest star that keeps brightening your life. *winks*

Her words were met with cheers and applause from the audience, and many fans felt their hearts swell with emotion. Y/N's response was indeed cheesy, but it came from the heart, and that's what mattered most.

As the youngest set the microphone down, she turned to Tzuyu, who was sitting beside her, and gave her a bright smile. Tzuyu couldn't help but chuckle at Y/N's cheesy response. She leaned in and teased her only dongsang.

Tzuyu - The longest star, huh? You're really laying it on thick, kiddo.

Y/N laughed, brushing off the teasing. 

Y/N - Hey, I wanted to say something meaningful, okay?

Tzuyu grinned, her eyes twinkling mischievously. 

Tzuyu - Well, you certainly did that. I'll have to remember that one for future fan meetings.

The fan meeting continued, and Y/N's heart was warmed by the interactions she had with her fans. She took time to sign autographs, take selfies, and share personal stories with those who had come to see her. She felt a deep sense of gratitude for the love and support she received from her fans, and it motivated her to work even harder as an idol.

After the fan meeting had concluded, TWICE gathered backstage to unwind and reflect on the day's events. Y/N, still beaming from the positive energy of the fans, found herself sitting next to Tzuyu. She nudged Tzuyu playfully and spoke with a funny tone. 

Y/N - You know unnie, it's not easy coming up with those cheesy lines on the spot.

Tzuyu laughed, her eyes crinkling at the corners. 

Tzuyu - I know, I know. But it was cute, and the fans loved it. You really are their shining star. *kisses the youngest's forehead*

TWICE's angel blushed, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and pride. She appreciated Tzuyu's support and understanding. 

Y/N - Thanks, Tzuyu unnie. You always know how to make me feel better. *smiles*

The other girls joined in the conversation, sharing their own experiences and interactions with the fans during the fan meeting. It was clear that they all cherished these moments and the deep connection they had with their supporters.

As the evening turned into night, all the members of TWICE decided to go out for a late dinner to celebrate the successful fan meeting. They chose a cosy restaurant in the heart of Seoul, where they could relax and enjoy each other's company.

Y/N found herself sitting next to her Tzuyu unnie again, and she couldn't resist the opportunity to bring up her cheesy response once more. 

Y/N - So, unnie, what do you think of my 'longest star' line now? *smirks*

Tzuyu chuckled and nudged her little sister back. 

Tzuyu - You know, I think it's grown on me. Maybe you can teach me some of your cheesy tricks for the next fan meeting.

Y/N laughed, feeling grateful for the connection she shared with her older sisters. They might tease each other, but their bond was unbreakable, and they knew how to support and lift each other up when it mattered most.

As they enjoyed their meal and shared stories from the fan meeting, TWICE's pride and joy felt a sense of contentment wash over her. She was living her dream as a member of TWICE, and she was surrounded by a loving and supportive family of unnies and devoted fans. It was moments like these that made all the hard work and dedication worthwhile.

In the heart of Seoul, under the warm glow of the restaurant's lights, TWICE celebrated not just a successful fan meeting but also the enduring bond they shared as a group. And as Y/N looked around the table at her fellow members, she couldn't help but feel like the luckiest star in the universe.

And this made her have only one thought:

I'll love my beloved chosen family forever.

A/N: I'm sorry for any errors. English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there is something wrong, ty for reading <3

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 3 Eps 7 & 8

I had a request for Episode 8, but that would mean 7 was living in a bubble without a real anchor. So, I decided to pair these two together for a two-fer.

I also realized that by getting these two written up, I'll have finished an entire season. Huzzah!

SPOILER ALERT: Standard warning applies. Please don't click the "Keep Reading" and expect not to get spoiled. I'm going to spoil these episodes (and everything that came before) to pieces. I do try to write these without foreknowledge, just so you're aware.

Kosher? Cool. Let's dive in.

"True Crime" AKA Grumpy/Sunshine Meme Activated

Lucy and Tim's First Interview

It strikes me that even as Tim is sitting down, he's turned in and looking at Lucy. At this point, Lucy is comfortable to Tim. What they're about to do isn't.

Tim hates this, but he's gonna do it. I don't know if it was a direct order from Grey, or he wanted to make sure it was done right so he was going to do it, damnit, but he's here and he's not happy about it.

Lucy, on the other hand, is thrilled. Her True Crime loving heart is filled to bursting and no doubt she's researched every person who was going to be there so she could fangirl all the more. It's adorable.

Also, these two make for good television. I mean, we already knew that, but the pretend producers happening onto this had me rolling. I bet the True Crime fans call them "Chenford" and perhaps that's the way the term might make it into the show someday.

"I'm sorry, I cut you off. I'm sorry."

She's so damn excited! And they haven't quite gotten their back-and-forth rhythm down that they will later display with gusto. It's close once she calms down, but girlfriend is thrilled right now, and Tim's "this is bullshit" meter is rising with every passing second.

"This is fun."

Tim looks at Lucy like she's grown a second head. And I'm trying to pick myself up from the floor where I've been rolling with laughter.

Look, the Grumpy/Sunshine trope is beloved for a reason, and we always knew Tim and Lucy had it in them. We've seen glimpses of it before. But sitting them down in an interview situation for an hour? This is pure gold!

I wasn't a fan at the time of airing, so I can only imaging how many memes were born out of these moments. It's amazing.

"Holy crap." "What is it?" "It's a, it's a-" "A what?" "A mummy. In a suit." "What?!"

Because, what else would a Mummy under a bed wear, right?

Eric Winter has this really wonderfully exasperated way of saying, "What!?" where you can really hear both the exclamation point and the question mark.

It reminds me of David Tenant during his run on Doctor Who. There was an entire scene in the TARDIS where he said "What!?" several times, and that was pretty much all he had to say on his first meeting of Donna.

It's. So. Funny. To have the ability to make a word funny. David Tenant and Eric Winter share that "What!?" power, and I kinda think Tim would enjoy the reference (see Season 4 to understand why).

"What's that saying? Those who can't do, teach?" *laugh*

We got a Tim laugh!? I mean, he made himself laugh, but it's still so cuuuuute. Like, rough, tough, mean-faced Tim having a chuckle is somehow so endearing. Especially at this phase, when we haven't seen him even smile much.

FAST FORWARD: There will be a day when we see smiley Tim. If you're just watching for the first time and wondering if it's coming... Tim's arc is one of the most complete (thus far) of the show. Stay tuned...

"You were literally my teacher. What are you saying?"

Ah, yes, the one indication that this episode was written in a post-"Amber" world where Lucy is no longer a Rookie.

See, the early days of COVID were a fustercluck for productions. I happen to know some people who worked through it, and there were so many different models of how to cope with it, copious amounts of hand sanitizer, masks, zones, wait periods in hotels for a week after landing, etc.

Now, there are more structured COVID protocols, but in the early days we knew so little about what was happening, and it impacted productions, ended series before they began, and delayed some seasons of shows that have now been permanently shelved.

So, Season 3's episodes aired in a very strange order compared to how it was written. Now, I'm grateful that the writers established Lucy and Tim's new dynamic early in the season so that's it's consistent, even when she's no longer his Rookie. So, I don't feel the need to call-out the air date vs production number, much.

But since the lower third provided for Tim and Lucy identified her as a Rookie, we know that this is supposed to happen during her Rookie year. But this one word lets us know something is amiss, if we're really paying attention.

And, golly, it's a word. I'm not trying to be dramatic, but trying to clarify for anyone who might not be aware of the whole Pandemic-fucked-everyone-over nature of Season 3 that makes this one word out of place.

So, if you ever wondered why Lucy used past tense instead of present tense, there's your answer.

Synchronicity

The moment they learn someone they know has been affected, they turn to one another.

And I love the synchronicity, here. Tim and Lucy have worked together a year, at this point, and they are very in sync with one another.

FAST FORWARD: Watch them undercover in 5x01 with how they sort of shift with one another, as though there's a cosmic pull between them that waves and they move with it. I feel that the evolution of their synchronicity really starts here in Season 3.

"It's LA. It's not the first time I've found a script at a crime scene." "I've only been on the job for a year and I've already found three." "Have either of you ever written one?" "God, no." *silence* "It was for a class."

Because she knows how he feels about screenwriters. If only Caleb had said "screenwriter" as his profession because then Tim would've locked him up right away.

"He was trying to cut her out—from the script, the cult, and the money."

True Crime Kink Activated. Look at how Lucy Chen is scoping out her future husband when he rattles off some Law-and-Order level soundbite. Girlfriend is surprisingly turned on at those words rolling off of his tongue. Oooh, the places that tongue could go.

*ahem* Now, Lucy's not going to jump his bones anytime soon, but there's definitely a moment there where she's finding Tim Bradford a little hotter than usual.

Who would've known the key to Lucy's heart was an oxford comma?

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, right?" "Cool. Way to trivialize female anger." "Hey, I'm not trivializing. All sorts of crimes are motivated by jealous ex-partners." "And how many of those ex-partners are men?" "Most."

See!? See what I mean!? These two are hilarious. We've seen Lucy call Tim on stuff, before, but this format is allowing them to be hilarious with it.

And I love the way he gives her the side-eye before saying "most". It reminds me of the side-eye he will give Grey in a future episode when having to tell a story he'd rather keep private.

"I heard it was Office Chen who broke the case wide open." "I don't know if I'd describe it quite that way." "How would you describe it then?"

Married. This is so married. Because Lucy is giving him the "don't try me" wife face, glaring at her man on-camera for mass consumption.

The fact that he stares right back and doesn't turn to ashes is only because Lucy didn't want to commit murder on-camera. But I love the way Melissa O'Neil is playing Lucy's confidence in this episode.

"Her addiction to social media finally paid off." "That is hurtful."

I bet he's not even on Social Media. That makes it easier for whatever relationships he'll have along the way before he and Lucy finally get it together (I have faith). No need to change your relationship status online when you don't have it listed to begin with.

That said, Lucy's Mom totally has a shadow account that she uses to stalk her daughter to spy and see if she's found a stable man, yet.

The Wrong Video

I love how embarrassed Lucy is, and how Tim tries to get a look at what the heck she played before she gets it onto the right video. He looks actively concerned. Like, "Please don't tell me you're one of those 'dance challenge' girls because I was just starting to respect you."

And, look, no shade from me. But Tim Bradford likes to throw shade, and I'm betting he'd throw some on Lucy if he'd gotten a glimpse of that video.

"Okay, look, the case was definitely weird. But, I mean, come on, all this? This feels so exploitational. The low-hanging fruit of celebrity scandal and murder."

Tim is not wrong. A lot of what is on television relating to celebrity scandal is exploitative. But I love Lucy, here. Melissa O'Neil gets a lot to play with in this episode, and she does not let it go to waste.

She has nailed the withering sigh of your wife sitting beside you as she lets you rant and dig your own grave.

"You should be making serious documentaries about things that really matter." "My last film was about climate injustice in Puerto Rico. It won a BAFTA." "Oh. Well. Alright, then."

And Lucy's withering sigh has transitioned to a knowing look. Like, Tim, you need to talk to your wife about this stuff, more. She has the 411 and will keep you from getting embarrassed.

"You got, you got something in your hair." "What?" "It's kind of-." "Has it been there the whole time?" "Yeah, it's pretty big. Let's get out of here." "I would tell you if you had broccoli in your teeth, man. What the heck?"

Am I the only one who thinks there wasn't really anything there? Because, Tim is so ready to be done with this, and Lucy's high over doing the interview is totally annoying him.

"Bad Blood"

Breaking Up... In A Text

Look, this is totally the coward's way out... but when Lucy's face lit up to see his message, I might've vomited in my mouth a little.

So, seeing him break it off brought out a little cheer. Huzzah! But, oh, no, poor Lucy. But *whispers* huzzah Chenford *whispers*.

I've never had someone break up with me over text... because the only person I've dated since Text Messaging has been widely available is my husband. I remember the first time we saw people texting all the time in England and we couldn't quite get why.

But I did have a boyfriend break up with me over the phone on my 17th birthday... the week of prom... because he was cheating on me because I wouldn't sleep with my first boyfriend 2 months into dating him. Later found out the entire reason we dated was because he had a reputation as a "de-virginator" and none of our friends warned me. I don't keep in touch with most of them anymore.

So, while I'm not quite on Lucy's level of indignation, I understand the frustration to have your boo cut it off in the most cowardly way available.

And putting Tim in the middle!? Emmett, my man, what are you doing!? You already have one half of Chenford wanting to set you on fire. Piss of Tim and he'll happily help her finish the job.

"I can't believe him... breaking up with me by text? What is he, 14? He doesn't have the guts to do it in person?" "Most guys don't."

Tim looks over to Jackson on that beat. I bet Tim would never do that, but he's also only got his own limited experience. Jackson's actually dated other men, so he knows better than Tim, in this case.

"Look, just be happy he didn't ghost you." "Can we get to work now?" "Did Emmett talk to you about this?" "No. Why would he?" "Because you're friends." "We don't talk feelings. We drink and watch sports together." "That's guy for friends." "Straight guy for friends."

I think Lucy doesn't quite yet understand what Tim considers a "friend". Because, at this point Tim does have one solid friend. Angela.

And, yes, we are in the era of Tim and Lucy being friends, but I'd argue it isn't until Season 4 when they are as interwoven into each other's lives (if not moreso) than Tim and Angela.

Also to note... Lucy is holding her phone the entire scene. She quite literally can't let it go.

"Look, you want my advice-"

She does. Look at her open-mouthed, wide-eyed, hoping he'll say something to make this atrocity better. And she did tell him that she values his opinion.

Gosh, I wish I could tell her to lower her expectations right about now.

"Walk it off. Clearly he's the wrong guy for you."

As said by her future husband. What? I couldn't leave that alone! Emmett is definitely the wrong guy for Lucy. But Tim's still learning how to comfort Lucy, and this time wow did our boy get it wrong.

"It's the same advice he would give me if I got hit by a pitch. What is wrong with men?"

Trust me, Lucy. Someday you'll come to appreciate his sports metaphors. And find a new appreciation for baseball!

Yes, I try to write these without foreknowledge, but c'mon! It's right there!

"Have you ever been dumped out of the blue before?" "Let me think. One time my wife left the house in the middle of the night and I didn't see her again for two years."

Yeahhh... Um. I'm not touching that. Because Tim Bradford's being flippant, and it's warranted here.

But (yes, there's a but), Tim doesn't understand all of Lucy's hangups about how she sees herself, yet. He doesn't fully understand the weight of her mother's expectations. And how she has never felt enough.

Like, she can handle romantic rejection. She doesn't like it, but she can handle it. But why wasn't she worth a real breakup? That's what's playing in her head. She need to know the why. Why wasn't she good enough for some basic decency?

"Okay, I get it, in the grand scheme of things, this isn't that bad. I just want to know why. Can you please ask?"

If she can understand it, she can process it. But we all know Tim isn't asking his drinking buddy about his feelings—unless that feeling is about how he feels about the Rams not living up to their potential.

"He must've been a seriously hardcore guy for you to obsess like that. What was his main crime?"

Because Tim would only obsess if it was something important, right? Right!?

"3EYEZ tagged your shop back when you were a Rookie?" "My TO was chasing a suspect. I was guarding a vehicle full of evidence." "A vehicle that was ten feet away from your Shop. It's right in your notes."

I love how Tim's trying to rationalize this away. He has a habit of doing that when he's called out—trying to minimize his own embarrassment by stating facts. (Trust me, he does it at the beginning of 5x01 with Angela)

But, Timmy, Lucy's got the facts in her hands. And you totally dropped the ball.

"I was ordered to keep my eyes on the car. I'd just left the Army where you follow orders to a T."

He thinks this'll get her to back down, but Lucy's long past being afraid of Tim. In fact, she's openly laughing at him. And I low-key love it because this is a form of flirtatious teasing.

Look, these two have a completely unique language. Pranks. Embarrassing photos. And even this harmless giggling.

They're comfortable around each other, and by now they know what's crossing the line with each other. So, it doesn't bother me that Lucy's teasing him, here. In fact, I think it's adorable.

"Oh, man, I can just imagine the relentless teasing. Did they give you a nickname? Please say yes." *yoinks paper* "No."

But your eyes say yes. Wow, now I sound like some of those creepy Christmas songs from the 50's. You know the ones.

"That's why you're so intent on catching this guy. It's personal."

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! Look, when Tim tried to call in the cavalry when he first saw the tag, I wondered what the hell I was missing. Lucy, apparently, was, too.

Is this tag a symbol of a gang war? Or a killing spree? What terrible, horrible thing is going to happen because of this?

Nada. Nothing. Nil. Except maybe Tim Bradford's ego getting a bit bruised.

"Even if we were to track him down for tagging our Shop, it's a misdemeanor. Is that really the best use of our time?" *yoinks another paper* "I will get us a fresh Shop."

There's something so delicious about Tim's silent protest via yoinking those papers. And Lucy knows him well enough that they're done talking.

Look, these episodes aren't about pent up sexual tension or the angst of longing. These are foundational episodes, and what we're seeing is Tim and Lucy learning to work together. They're increasingly a unit in Season 3, even though Lucy spends most of it still his Rookie.

They're learning how to communicate with one another. So, if they ever do get their acts together, they're already going to have that part down pretty well.

"Let's go. Not a word about the Shop."

He knows her well enough to know that she'll tease him. She knows him well enough that if he says he doesn't want it, she's not going to do it.

See? They're communicating!

"What? You disapprove. You think I'm just dating him to make Emmet jealous? Heck, yeah. Maybe I am. But, he deserves it. Will you say something, please?"

Lucy processes by talking it out, we know, and when Tim doesn't interject, she starts projecting. Because even she knows going out with this guy isn't purely motivated. She's hurting and lashing out, and she knows it.

Tim's simply listening. But when she asks him to speak, he realizes that's what she needs.

See? Communicating!

"Today's the first time you've talked about Emmett in weeks." "You hate it when I talk about personal stuff."

Nice excuse. Look, Tim and Lucy are mirroring each other a lot this episode. They both have personal things that they're obsessing over that are clouding their judgment and thoughts.

And they're both rationalizing. Tim rationalized missing the tagger when he was a Rookie by saying he was just following orders. Lucy is rationalizing not talking about Emmett by defaulting to Tim's dislike of personal talk in the Shop.

They're both not thinking clearly. And, of course, it takes the other to help them get through.

"And yet you still do. But in all those conversations, you haven't said one word about your boyfriend." "What are you saying?" "Look, maybe Emmett treated the relationship like it didn't matter because you treated it like it didn't matter."

The realization hits her that he's right. It's one of those rare moments where Tim's the one helping Lucy examine herself. But that's what I love about them. They help refine one another. It's a give and take, and not just one person "healing" the other.

Tim and Lucy are on their own, personal journeys to healing and self-realization. But, I'll argue, each is a vital part of that journey. But to give one or the other full credit is to ignore the individual's effort to grow.

Tim and Lucy are growing together. And I love that so much more than one patching the other up. We're not patching up holes, we're actually healing. Yes, there will always be scars. But the healing makes it all so much more bearable, and so much easier to fully live, again.

But when he sees the realization hit her, his gaze softens. Tim hates to see her in pain. But we're not quite at the point where he's going to offer her comfort, especially on the job.

After all, Lucy is still his Rookie, and he needs to keep the lines firm between them. Because, if he were honest, he'd realize they're already getting blurrier and blurrier.

"Alright. Focus up. You read the file. Do you think 3EYEZ is done for the day?"

Tim's trying to get her back on track, like he has so many times before. But, Tim knows her well enough to know that sometimes barking out orders isn't enough for Lucy.

She needs something to help her switch her brain, something else to think about. They've done her mock-plan of how to sabotage her ex's wedding, before. This time, Tim tries a different tactic—he offers a piece of himself.

"Eagle Eye."

Lucy looks at him with confusion while I shove my face into a pillow so the kids don't hear me squealing and come running in here, mistaking it for screaming.

Tim doesn't have to do this. But he wants to. He wants to let Lucy Chen in just a little more.

"What?" "The nickname I got. After the Shop got tagged right under my nose." *giggle* "But it wasn't my TO who came up with it. It was Isabel. It kind of became her pet name for me." "Aw. That's sweet."

It's still hard for him to talk about Isabel. Those wounds are still healing, even though he's tested the dating pool a little. And it's important to remember that he and Isabel did have good times. There was a time when Tim had a lot of happiness in his life.

But he opens up a little to Lucy, here. He gives her insight. He gives a little of himself. And that's huge. He's starting to talk about Isabel without tearing up, without scowling, without the same agonizing pain striking his chest.

It still hurts. To a degree, it'll always hurt. But it's starting to heal. And I love that when he's starting to get healthier, the first person who gets to see it is Lucy.

We're not to the point of them swapping saliva and dreaming of the other's taste. But, we're building a really solid friendship. Heck, Lucy giggled when Tim opened up just now.

And I've talked about it a bit in this Meta, but I think it's important to draw out that Lucy has become comfortable to him. Why is this important?

FAST FORWARD: Remember the famous double date of S4? Why did Tim invite Lucy? Because he wanted a source of comfort in this truly uncomfortable situation. So, later when Bargain Barbie remarks about his creature comforts and about how he needs to get out and do more... nobody takes into account that Lucy is one of his comforts. So, once he and Lucy start dating, they are out all the time together. Why? Because he doesn't need all the other comforts when he's with her. Lucy is his comfort.

Thank y'all for reading and going on this journey with me. I think with this Meta, I've finished my tour of Season 3! It was a short season, so that made it a bit easier to chunk out.

And sorry this one took so long. My roof's leaking and it looks like I'm emptying out my 401K to replace it. It's always something, but I remain grateful. I've faced my death a few times in my lifetime, so every day I'm given is an absolute gift.

Just gotta take it one breath at a time.

[tigreblvnc]

BLUE LOCK MATCHUP — @ay-na

Your match is...

— Karasu Tabito

✦ I'm not going to beat around the bush: I had a lot, A LOT of trouble picking someone for you!

✦ I find that you're looking for a set of qualities and the absence of flaws that very few characters in Blue Lock possess.

✦ ... Is it the natural high standards of INFJs? :D

✦ Because when one had the qualities, they also had the flaws. And when one didn't have the flaws, they lacked the qualities as well.

✦ This is kind of the story of making a manga based on competition and learning to sacrifice things to achieve your goal; it naturally leads to characters with dark and less glorious aspects.

✦ Fiction is also conducive to amplifying traits, giving rise to sometimes very stereotyped characters. Even though I think Blue Lock manages to add nuance by giving unexpected and somewhat realistic backstories to its characters.

✦ SO.

✦ I chose to assign you Karasu, who I think is the best compromise between what you're looking for and what you dislike in someone: he's clever, quick-witted, persistent… And he has that little unique twist thanks to his childhood that makes him a character with more layers of depth than it seems. Like many players, arrogance is one of his flaws, but honestly, you don't watch Blue Lock if you don't enjoy seeing a bit of cheekiness on screen.

✦ "I'm good with deciphering and reading people" is very Karasu-coded :D He learned this before playing football. It was his way of coping with his situation at school; analyzing people allowed him to anticipate reactions and thus play on his opponent's weaknesses before they could discover Karasu's own. To support this, here's a quote from his Wiki: "His hobby is observing, analyzing, and assessing humans." As they say: attack before being attacked. It's a strategy often adopted by those who have been mistreated.

✦ So, I would say that Karasu isn't inherently bad, but it's a layer you have to break through to reach the less brutal aspects of him.

✦ I think you'd be quite skilled at detecting this defense mechanism. It's probably something you've observed a lot. We already see it in nature: a wounded wild animal will try to defend itself by attacking those who try to approach it.

✦ "So I don't see myself being able to communicate for long periods of time without tiring out." The ability to communicate is the reason why I eliminated so many contenders for your matchup because those with the qualities you seek often suffer from a lack of communication. I'll revisit this at the end of the post to explain my thinking.

✦ And that's why I chose Karasu: I don't think he's the most excited or extroverted character in the roster, but I find him communicative enough to initiate conversations and seek out dialogue. Just as much as he knows when someone needs silence and peace. After all, he's good at analyzing people.

✦ "I'm an emotional person, but I tend to hide it in order to not be taken advantage of." Again, Karasu coded.

✦ "Even if I barely know the person, if I feel a connection or an urge to make them feel better, why not? This world already has too much misery, there's no need to add more to it." This statement makes me smile because I imagine this trait would be a source of great discomfort for Karasu, who I don't see as someone used to people caring about his well-being. In fact, this is a flaw that many characters in this manga share, and the fact that they all want to prove their worth through victory shows that most are trying to fill a void. But I digress.

✦ Someone pointed this out in a matchup, and it's true: the theme of loneliness is very present in Blue Lock. On a larger scale, and going a bit off-topic so I won't go further here, it's also a theme very present in Japan. So, it's only natural that it is reflected in the work of a mangaka.

✦ "I'm not proud to say this, but I give more than I receive, which makes me feel like I'm not doing enough or if the other person is sick of me, I need reassurance quite a bit if I were to be in a relationship." This is a common issue with MBTI types who have Extraverted Feeling (Fe) in their top two functions. For the INFJ, this function occupies the second place, the Auxiliary, which makes the INFJ highly focused on maintaining external harmony, even at the expense of their own feelings. And the fact that the INFJ is not very communicative about their true emotions doesn't help their situation, leading them to be exploited by others, as they'd rather remain silent than risk ruining the atmosphere by complaining.

✦ I think one of Karasu's love languages is words of affirmation. Since he spends most of his time taunting his opponents on the field and boasting about his abilities, his way of showing that he cares about someone is when he takes the time to reassure them about their skills, plain and simple. To me, a love language is a natural ability of someone, but turned toward a positive purpose.

✦ "Dealing with negative emotions and feelings is a bit hard for me. And more often than not, they come out bursting after bottling everything up in the form of tears." Oh my. I read this part after explaining the INFJ's workings earlier and: yes, it's a consequence of never saying anything. I honestly think that a behavior like this would catch Karasu off guard, and at the same time… well… he'd wonder what he did wrong to make you feel that way. Once he genuinely cares about you, he won't just stand idly by; he'll rethink every situation before the critical moment to understand the problem. Fortunately, the guy is more talkative and knows where to find you to start a conversation. In those moments, his voice is calm, and he doesn't have that mocking expression on his face at all. On the contrary, there's something very inviting in his tone that makes you feel comfortable opening up.

✦ Yes, I can totally see him being good at this and reserving those moments only for the person he loves.

✦ YOU.

✦ "I'm trying to work on processing and communicating my feelings, but when you're surrounded by a toxic environment, it's a bit hard. But I'm managing." I had the image of you retreating to your room, where Karasu simply joins you after knocking on the door. Honestly, he's even capable of waiting outside, sitting down and maybe falling asleep against the door, until you give a sign of life. It's okay if you're not ready to talk now. You'll talk later. And if you tell him, "I need to be alone," he'll leave and wait for you to come to him. It's really that simple, as long as you tell him.

✦ "I've been raised as an overachiever and tend to get lost to the point I neglect my health, so I need someone who can pull me out of such unending loops of forgetting that I'm a human with needs." I headcanon Karasu as a man with the financial means since we saw him well-dressed in public and interested in business and commerce. Even though the crow is goal-oriented, I can totally see him loving expensive vacations, luxury items, and fun trips, especially during the summer.

✦ "I feel guilty when I ask for help, like I'm not competent enough if I need guidance. I'm being helped with understanding this concept, but still." This is something many characters in this manga deal with, but not only; in real life, too. So, it will be a common topic of conversation between the two of you. You'll work on it together at your own pace since Karasu also struggles with this issue, so he understands even more how hard it is to "admit your vulnerabilities." After all, we only ask for help when it gets to that point, right? That's what he thinks, but over time, with patience and trust, you both learn that it's not about admitting your vulnerabilities. It's about accepting that others also have skills and can teach you things.

✦ "I'm a little hesitant about publishing them, so I printed them in a small number for my friends." You might think the ideal partner pushes you to publish your books because they're worth it, but I don't think that's true: the ideal partner accompanies you on your journey to build self-confidence, until YOU are the one who decides to publish your work. Which, in my opinion, could be yet another unexpected facet of Karasu that he only reveals to a select few people.

✦ "I'm into fantasy, cyberpunk, futuristic, action, and slice of life games." If Karasu played video games, it would have been mostly during his childhood, though I can also see him as a kid fascinated by observing nature. We see it a bit in the manga; in reality, many things fascinate him. A butterfly caught in a web, for example. I think this ties into his love of observing and understanding. I know some video games are about making choices, sometimes difficult ones. It makes you reflect, critique the world around you, a system, morality. These are things I’m sure would interest Karasu. In fact, anything that sheds light on human nature.

✦ So yes, it’s likely that if choices need to be made during a game, he’ll think it through with you, weighing the pros and cons. In the end, your debates are so intense that they pull you into the game as if it were the movie of your life.

✦ "I'm into anything that is connected with the stars and sky. So watching the stars above and relaxing on the roof is my ideal thought for a moment of relaxation. I've also been learning about constellations lately too." I'm sure there's a character in the roster who has this as their favorite activity (unless I'm confusing it with Isagi, who loves walks), but I can't remember who. So I'm going to give this trait to Karasu :) I think it makes sense with his interest in observing the environment, not just people but nature too. He really loves birds, and I'm sure he'd be the first to point to the sky when spotting a hawk. He knows the names of so many species that the man is a walking encyclopedia.

✦ Anything to do with night walks and endless late-night talks: he's your guy. And it’s going to sound weird, but I think his chara design really matches the night, doesn’t it?

✦ "Sports: running, yoga, and I know how to play football a bit." Well, of course, this was the little cherry on top. A footballer with a companion who loves his sport can only be thrilled. Some might prefer to find a new rival, but others, like Karasu, just enjoy making someone proud who understands the game he’s made his career.

✦ "I like being alone, but I don't like feeling lonely." A major flaw of our current screen-obsessed society! I think Karasu is good at being that silent presence in the room that makes you feel accompanied. The kind of person you can read with without needing to talk, just appreciating being in the same space. Classic quality time.

✦ … I'm reading your love languages, and OH MY GOD, I'm so happy I hit the nail on the head!!! You have exactly the love languages that suit Karasu, and he has exactly what you need!!!

✦ *erm*

✦ I headcanon Karasu as someone who’s very sensitive to positive remarks about who he is, more than about his football technique. Because his technique is directly tied to the arrogant image he’s built and wants to project; someone who truly understands his personality and fears, and compliments him on his qualities, really has the power to shake him in the best possible way.

✦ Now we get to the part about "traits I like in a person" and also the reason why I eliminated so many contenders lol.

✦ "I love ambitious and purposeful people who are set on their goals and burning for what they want." Honestly, Blue Lock is the best manga for this kind of search lol.

✦ But the rest…

✦ "If said person can make a joke, whether it's sarcasm or an unexpected pun- you have my heart." / "I tend to get along with traumatized people who are seeking salvation and reflection" / "I also find myself drifting more to people who can express themselves better than me in any aspect" / "Traits I absolutely hate in a person: liars and manipulators [...] And most of all, disloyalty" / "characters with too much stubbornness"...

✦ So the characters who had the skills you were looking for also had the flaws you didn’t like. And those who didn’t have those flaws were missing the qualities you sought.

✦ I did think of other characters, but as I said earlier, we’ll talk about them at the end of the post.

✦ Lastly, two appearance traits caught my attention:

✦ "a mole on the left side of my chin" Karasu has his under his left eye :)

✦ "I'm 157cm" -> 183cm for the crow, so hello to big cuddles.

✦ Now let's move on to the headcanons!

✦ Those moments when you’re both working from home, and you're starting to crack because of too much work; you go make yourself some tea in the kitchen and spot Karasu sitting on the couch in the living room, typing away on his laptop. You ask him what he's doing, and he gestures for you to come over; with your steaming cup in hand, you walk over and notice he’s on an airline’s website. The crow looks up at you and says, "I booked us tickets to the ski resort for this winter."

✦ He always double-checks that everything is packed and nothing’s been forgotten. He’s the one who drives, handles the logistics and organization so you can fully relax. He’s seen how hard you’ve been working this past month. Now it’s your turn to rest!

✦ When you arrive at the resort, you unload your stuff at the chalet. It's warm inside because, of course, he even thought to have the heating turned on an hour before your arrival.

✦ He tries out winter dishes with you. Honestly, he’s pretty good at it, and his favorites are the ones that need to simmer for a long time to be enjoyed.

✦ He’s brought along a few books you bought a while ago but never had time to read because of work. Now it’s time for long reading sessions with a good cup in hand, while gazing at the snowy scenery outside.

✦ Speaking of outside, you’ve chosen a few walking paths along the mountain to explore. With or without a guide; you're there to observe nature and the winter wildlife hidden in the white landscape. Sometimes a bird flies overhead, and Karasu always knows how to identify the species.

✦ Lots of couple photos.

✦ Matching ugly Christmas sweaters, but it’s a secret only you two know.

✦ It’s also your time to write and put your thoughts on paper. Sometimes you read a passage to Karasu before blushing because you're not sure why you did that. And it always makes him silently laugh because he knows it means you're getting more comfortable. He comments on the aspects of your writing that evoke analyses in him, the depth of your characters and the worlds you imagine. It’s actually a skill he doesn’t have—creating a whole world and integrating characters into it coherently. He mostly compares it to a football team thrown into an unknown world, and that comparison makes you laugh, genuinely.

✦ And it makes you think back to how you met.

He was probably the football player who caught your attention on the field among the 22 players.

Because there was something extra about him. You thought about it for a long time and decided there was something in his strategy, his way of always being in the right place at the best moment to block the opponent, something so formidable that it reminded you a little of a predator carefully positioning itself to surprise its prey at the perfect moment.

You know a bit about football, and you definitely know the rules, but you had never imagined an approach like Karasu’s. Because the guy made a good impression on you (anything that makes you think and that you take the time to understand is a good impression for you), you often returned to watch his games from the stands.

Without ever announcing yourself.

It happened one afternoon when you came to see him as usual. Some of his acquaintances had come to see him and sat a few seats away from you.

When halftime came, Karasu climbed the stairs, a towel draped around his sweat-soaked neck. At first, he raised his hand in a wave, and you honestly thought it was for you.

Nope: he climbed the steps and went over to join his friends, sitting right next to you. He talked with them, and although you didn’t understand everything because the excitement of seeing the player who fascinated you being so close was getting a little too much for your emotions, you still overheard what he thought of his performance:

"It wasn’t bad, but I could’ve positioned myself better. If it weren’t for number 9, I could’ve pulled off a feint."

And at that moment, you smiled before adding:

"Actually, even if number 9 hadn’t been there, you wouldn’t have gotten the ball because of number 11 tailing him."

Karasu immediately turned to look at you, mouth slightly open, not knowing what to say.

It was the truth, and none of the guys he was talking to had noticed it.

"… What else did you see?" He asked, one eyebrow raised, the other furrowed.

And that’s how it all started. A single detail you had noticed managed to capture the raven’s attention until the very end.

A word about your match: Honestly, I really enjoyed writing this matchup—the snow, the fireplace, Karasu with a scarf you knitted for him, sitting on the couch together with his arm slid down your back to your hip... Also, for the other contenders I thought about: Barou, but way too stubborn for you. Chigiri, I think with his quick wit and the trauma of his knee, could have made for a good combination, but there was something missing—something aggressive and positive to elevate your duo. Finally, I also considered the following bunch: Rin, Kaiser, Reo, Sae, but eliminated them all because one was too uncommunicative, another too manipulative, one too clingy, the other incapable of humor… So for me, Karasu is the best possible match for you.

© TIGREBLVNC 2024 | SEPTEMBER ‘24 MATCHUPS EDITION.

[macabremoons]

Writeblr Positivity Tag

@hallwriteblr did a post of this tag, and I knew I had to try it out! Doing what they did and putting the blank format underneath the cut!

Gently tagging: @squarebracket-trick, @leisoree, @serenanymph, @immortaladrien, @thesoftestofpetals, and anyone else who wants to join!!!

1. What motivates you to write?

The plot threads I have later down the line in my wips and my characters. Both of these points are really the same. I am excited about the things I have planned because they highlight the characters, and I am excited because my characters for the things I have planned.

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

I have to pick just one????? Oh lord.

Undead things aren't supposed to grieve other undead things, and yet so many vampires were now without fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters.

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

@mouseinthegreenhouse's Maximilian. They have to put up with my simping sm HIOEWHOIW. It's hard to describe Max in a way that does not boil down his character. He just has this presence that you feel in every page, this captivation. A slow, measured way of speaking where he knows no one would dare interrupt him. Love him to bits.

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

I haven't really gotten to the editing phase with any of my OG works, so I guess I have to say drafting?

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Character. I try my best to write characters that are analysis worthy. That have a deeper meaning in their existence and that have a lot to say about the world. Of course not all of my characters are as well thought out as others, but when I do put my all into it there is so many intricacies that go into them.

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

THE PEOPLE. I LOVE YOU GUYSS. I love seeing your works and hearing your feedback and the tags and the asks. And the mutuals. The mutuals. Getting to know other writers and getting to talk about writing more deeply with them is so much fun.

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

I use WPS Offcie for my more serious projects. It's like Word, but free, and also not owned by Microsoft. This helps me not write in the middle of the night on Daycycle and work on it healthily. It is the bane and boon of my existence.

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

Why must you continually make me choose a favorite child? I like how I tackled the elements on daycycle, I suppose. The fact that every element has it's own ideology behind it gives me a lot of freedom with what I can do with it. It also helps me say a bunch of stuff with it! And I enjoy making none of the elements good or evil but keeply neutral with their own psychological behavioral patterns.

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

People are going to tell you to just keep going and you're going to think that it's impossible. I'm sorry to tell you that it's hard, but it's possible. I believe in you and your ability to write through this.

Unless you are going through writing burnout TAKE A BREAK. TAKE A BREAK. TAKE A BREAK. "But what if--" NO. BREAK. NOW.

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

@squarebracket-trick for her amazing writing. I really feel like I could have a discussion about any form of writing with her and she'd have something to say. @sugar-phoenix, @lyra-brie, and @leisoree for listening to my rambles and sharing their gorgeous juicy ideas to me. @wipsbymor for RJ. What I have to say more? Sigh, also for her continued support and kindness. @hallwriteblr, yes tagging you again, for being such a kind person in this community and for writing that sage one shot. @serenanymph for being one of my first mutuals and a talented writer to boot. And to everyone who is my mutual! I love you all!!

1. What motivates you to write?

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

I heard a phrase once that goes something like "growth lies outside the comfort zone".

And holy shit my dudes. It's right.

In just 9 days I've spent at a hospital, I changed. I can't say "completely", but... Wait, no, I can!

I came out of the hospital a different person than the one who entered it, and I genuinely mean it. I described it in many ways. "As if somebody broke me out of my shell", "like I don't have a layer I used to have" or simply "I'm back". It feels... So good, yet so unfamiliar.

Everyone I talked to since I came home who knew me before then, is shocked. They say I smile more, I have a completely different energy, they say I got my spark back that I used to have when I was a child.

I think what happened was the result of many, many things, but mainly:

• Being forced to confront my trauma head on

Hospitals. I had some very painful surgeries, as well as painful and humiliating testing done when I was a child. It screwed me up in so many ways that I can't even articulate to this day. I experienced A Lot of physical and emotional pain during this recent hospital stay. I didn't run from it, couldn't. And I do have to say it contributed to my experience, can't describe in what way exactly just yet.

• Having no privacy and thus, no space to suffer in silence. And thus, having no choice but to let people in

Sharing a room with 4 people, I hardly had any space for myself, except for my bed and nightstand. I tend to cry all by myself when I'm going through something. At the hospital I was going through A Lot, and yet I couldn't hide from curious eyes.

• Having people do many uncomfortable things to my body, and having to just go with it

Well, it's not like I didn't have a say in whether certain things happened to me. I could potentially protest if I didn't want to have some testing done or didn't want someone to wipe me down etc. But my desire to reach a diagnosis was so strong that my limitations in that regard dissolved rapidly. Plus, like. These people are at work. I'm not gonna let my embarrassment keep them from getting their jobs done. Otherwise we would be here all day.

• Being taken seriously, but gently

I was faced with so much kindness during my hospital stay. It helped me remember that somewhere out there the world can be really kind and that there are good people out there. I think I completely forgot about that.

• Being given hope

I didn't realise just how much I had given up on myself and just life in general, over the past few months. And yet I had people gently hold my hands on 3 separate occasions and tell me "It's gonna be okay". How does one not start to believe it even just a little bit after that?

• Being reminded of my passions

I had a very intense talk with the head of the department that took me in. He asked me about my gifts and abilities, and pointed out other ones I missed. I kept finding myself thinking of more I could've mentioned days later.

• Being shown a way forward

This ties in with the point I made two paragraphs before, but I do think it deserves it's separate section. Along with the hope that I might get a full diagnosis, and that what I'm suffering from right now is reversible, I had a spark lit up in me, one that I lost a long, long time ago. I was reminded that I love to learn new things, and that I want to go and study new topics. I'm going back to uni! This time a post-graduate program tho, I'm not pursuing a degree (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

So, there you have it. I knoooow that these are highly personal and subjective, but I'd regret if I didn't share my experiences and observations even a little bit. If by sharing this I inspire just one person to do and change something, or to look at things differently, I would consider it as a job well done.

[knickynoo]

I love your headcanons!

Do you have any headcanons for George (in any of the timelines)?

Hello! Sorry for the delayed response. I'm going to stick with George in the "improved" timeline (post-parking lot punch) because I like imagining all the ways he became a better version of himself after Marty's intervention.

• For a while, George is still kind of shy and awkward and unsure of himself. He knows he's just unlocked some kind of hidden potential and strength within himself, but he isn't really sure what to do with it. Lorraine helps a lot in those following months, encouraging him to keep coming out of his shell.

• George learns A LOT about how two-faced people can be and who he can trust in the aftermath of the Biff Punch. People who used to bully him incessantly all of a sudden want to be his buddy and act like they always thought he was cool. Thankfully, he sees through that. And many of his classmates who were kind to him even when others considered him a loser, continue to be kind, and he gains many new friends.

• George holds his head up a little higher whenever he passes Biff in the halls. Biff actively avoids any eye contact with him.

• Soon after George and Lorraine start officially dating, he allows her to take a look at some of his writing. She's the first person to ever read his stuff, and he sits there anxiously watching her face as she does it. Lorraine loves getting a peek into George's creative inner-world, and her approval gives him an even bigger boost in his abilities. She quickly becomes a trusted confidant for his ongoing ideas.

• Oh! Also, George is definitely the type to leave sweet, heartfelt notes for Lorraine. Expressing his feelings through writing is still the easiest route for him for a while, so he utilizes his talents as a way to let her know how much he cares. He slips notes into her backpack or locker when they're at school, and once they're married, he leaves them all over the house for her. It's an ongoing thing that endures even after he's able to comfortably verbally express his feelings.

[Side note: This is one of post-trilogy Marty's favorite things about his parents. Dave and Linda tend to roll their eyes whenever they catch George placing a note somewhere or see Lorraine smiling as she reads one, but Marty can't even feign annoyance or embarrassment like his siblings. The warm, fuzzy feelings simply overtake him at witnessing the little tradition, especially considering all his memories of his miserable parents in the original timeline. The kid can't help it; he loves seeing his mom and dad in love.]

• George is a very involved father. He guides, teaches--and is even stern at times--and he loves his kids and is so invested in raising them to be well-adjusted and confident. And, obviously, he tells the best bedtime stories. He absolutely crafts individual, personalized stories for each of his children and puts it in a little book for them.

• I have a very solidly planted headcanon that George and Doc are good friends in the Lone Pine Timeline. They share a lot of interests and can talk for hours about science, complex theories, and other nerd stuff (George goes to Doc for questions relating to more technical aspects of his science-fiction plots). The two bounce off of each other well, and nobody else can keep up with their conversations when they get going.

Thanks for the ask!

[farmerlesbian]

Sorry if this is a bit controversial or the wrong blog, but I just need to vent a bit. As a butch who's never dated/had sex, it's really disheartening to feel like so much of how people view someone as being butch or butch identities in general in relation to other people. Dating and doting on a femme. Giving pleasure effortlessly in sex. Constantly helping out with physical tasks. It's really frustrating. It's hard for me to explain, but my journey as a butch and discovering what I want out of my butch identity is for ME. I get it- I believe in centering compassion as a part of my masculinity. But that's not just for dating partners: it's for my friends, family, and strangers, and for ME. It's just frustrating for me to feel like posts that try to affirm butches end up coming back around to what butches can do for other people. It's extra heartbreaking because I'm butch4butch, not butch4femme. I love femmes as friends and community members, don't get me wrong, but I feel like so many posts just reinforce this "ideal" of a butch for other people rather than what we're actually like. I don't want to say all femmes are like this or even maliciously post like this, it's just a generalization of what I've seen in sfw/nsfw circles. I dunno, maybe I'm not getting at it right. I just don't feel like my being butch relies on who I'm dating, or how I'm having sex, or what I do for other people. It centers around how I express myself and how I express masculinity. Yes, that includes compassion, helping others, kindness, and being connected with my community. But that's because that's what I want to include in my masculinity, not because being butch requires some kind of service to other people. I just feel like there's some pressure to perform my gender a certain way, when I identify as butch because I rejected pressure to perform my gender a specific way.

i think everything youve said here makes a lot of sense to me and i understand. what youre feeling is very understandable and you are . for lack of an alternative word. valid for feeling uncomfortable!

i think this arises because people make posts (or talk about things) in a way seeking like.. broad relatability. people want to make it apply to all butches. so then we get posts that are vague and just these common denominators. what someone appreciates in YOU dearest anon, is going to be unique to you.

here i can show you the difference. I'll talk about my wife - I love the confidence and swagger she carries when she moves in the public world, the charisma she holds and the way people are drawn to her without her even trying. I love the quiet confidence and her ability to not over-speak in the way that I do haha! I often describe her as a "woman of few words". Her passion for her hobbies, and the care and attention she has for her interests - her plants, her fish and fishtanks, her dog, her bowling, her new career in carpentry, her bikes. I love the shape of her body and the solidity of her arm when i hold it, i love resting her head in my lap in the evening after we watch a tv show or something and i massage the stress out of her head and her body relaxes and she falls asleep cradled on my chest. i love the way she smiles at me over a plate of food she has cooked for us. i love the way her body feels in my hands when i touch her. i love the tattoos covering her arms and the way they ripple over her muscles as she reaches to grab something. i love her big giant mirror-lens sunglasses that nobody can see her eyes through. i love giving her fun dangly earrings as gifts over the years and the joy she has when matching them to her outfits. i love the intentionality she has in what she wears, how she styles herself each morning, and the care she has for her leather boots. i love the sweetness and cute moments we share when we are home with our animals, the soft inside she has under her tough shell, which she shares with me. i love wearing our sparklies together and i love going through our gender journeys together. i love the way she holds me accountable and expects me to be a better person, and we work to demand better from ourselves and each other ever day. all these things and so many more!

see i can't make this a relatable post because it's about one specific person! so what someone is going to appreciate about you, or things your friends and family already do love about you, are going to be unique to you too. they're not gonna be a relatable and generic post and tens of thousands of other people are going to also relate to. butches/mascs/studs are so much more than only the things yall can do for your people. you are appreciated and loved in your own right.

i hope that this makes sense

hang in there 🧡

send asks / #ask farmer lesbian

[ysterrd]

Hayate (CV: KENN)

“I wanna experience eeeverything fun and interesting the world has to offer!”[1]

A natural mood maker of many talents[2]

A floor manager at Lounge Wisdom.

He's a bright and sociable mood maker who's never seen without a smile on his face.

He's interested in a lot of things, but gets bored quickly, so he often changes hobbies.

His motto is to never be silent for more than 3 seconds during a conversation.

Profile

Class: Wisdom Thinks

Height: 180cm

Weight: 65kg

Birthday: July 6

Age: 23

Zodiac Sign: Cancer

Hobby: Changes depending on his mood[3]

Skills: Latte art, photographic memory[4]

Rider Finisher: Twilight Sky Drive

Voice lines

“I wanna experience eeeverything fun and interesting the world has to offer!”

“I think we should do stuff to get closer… like hanging out all together!”[5]

“Need anything? It’s fine, I'm happy to help!”

TL Notes:

制覇する means “to conquer” or “dominate”, so obviously not something you can use in a casual context. Since he’s the type of guy to try just about anything, “experience” felt like a good compromise.

Okay this one’s a doozy to explain, strap in. 天真爛漫 can be translated as innocence, naivety or simplicity. Looking at multiple definitions on JP dictionaries gives the idea that it’s about acting natural, and being honest and innocent “like a child”. Going for naive or innocent felt like it would be too infantilizing when this is a grown man we’re talking about, so I went for “natural” instead for something that’d evoke the natural and simple vibe of the term instead. And I also combined 多才 and 万能 as “many talents” because TLing them separately would have been redundant.

Technically, it should be “changes from time to time”, but since we know it’s because he gets bored, I went for that wording instead for flair.

This note also counts as a psychology note of sorts. Photographic memory is also called eidetic memory and is the ability to recall images with great detail. However, from a cursory search it seems there’s a nuance between eidetic and photographic memory, with eidetic memory being the ability to vividly recall an image shortly after seeing it, and photographic memory being the ability to recall it in great detail. I went with “photographic” simply because it sounds less obscure, but the nuance was worth sharing.

The subject of this voice line is “Wisdom”, as in the Wisdom Lounge staff, but I used “we” to avoid making the line sound too clunky.

Source: Ride Kamens website

Originally posted on Dreamwidth & Twitter on Feb 13 2024. TL wording has been slightly altered.