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#so no you dont care abt both
papirouge · 8 months
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"Taylor swift porn deepfakes dropped and leftists are arguing it’s ok because she’s white and rich !! It doesn’t matter if she’s white and rich, because misogyny affects all of us uwu"
and yet, when brown Muslim Palestinian women struggling in their war torn country got displaced in camps and resorted to cut their tent because they didn't have menstrual products were PLEADING for help/attention, you remained quiet
...but yes, the discourse calling out the selective mobilization of western feminists who constantly cape for rich/White/Western celebrities while not displaying an ounce of this energy to speak up for women struggling & dying en masse in the biggest conflict in the world right now is just silly "leftism"
shut up. like, forever.
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suntails · 1 year
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a father's love
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Thinking about the KaeyaJeanDiluc friendship where they grew up together and they were CLOSE & sure maybe Jean felt like Diluc & Kaeya were closer since they were brothers & sure maybe Kaeya felt like he had to keep secrets from the two of them bc they would never understand but they were like. A trio! A team!
& then Diluc’s 18th birthday comes around and everything goes to shit and Diluc LEAVES so they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc but just Kaeya & Jean & in some ways Kaeya and Jean get closer because of it but there’s also a pronounced DISTANCE where Jean doesn’t know how to reach Kaeya anymore & Kaeya is even more determined not to tell Jean anything & they both lose themselves in their duties to Mondstadt while also missing Diluc and ALSO, despite everything, offering each other unconditional support
& then Diluc comes BACK & in addition to Kaeya & Jean there’s the shaky reestablishment of Jean & Diluc and Diluc & Kaeya but it’s not THE SAME. they’re no longer KaeyaJeanDiluc; Jean & Kaeya are knights and Diluc will never be a knight again & they all changed while Diluc was away & none of them know how to talk to each other anymore AND YET there’s still an undercurrent of trust!! Not fully, especially between Kaeya & Diluc, but Diluc still calls on Jean during the archon quest, trusting that she will keep their secrets even though as the acting grandmaster she should probably not. Jean says in her about Diluc voiceline that she understands why Diluc hates the knights & is working hard to make them an organization he can trust again. Kaeya covers for Diluc’s darknight hero escapades & fondly reminisces about their childhood in front of him. Diluc invited Kaeya to dinner at the winery & (afaik) never told anyone about Kaeya’s origins. Kaeya tells the traveler that they need to give Jean their full support and planned a birthday party for her. Jean left Kaeya in charge of Mondstadt when she went to the golden apple archipelago! On some level they recognize that their goals still align!! There’s still trust and love there but there’s also this gap between them that none of them know how to cross and I just!!!
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transmaverique · 2 months
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amab and afab, if they were used as shorthand for the actual full phrases that they signify, with emphasis on the "assigned" part, and an understanding that they are enforcements of normative (ie, dyadic and cisgender and binary) sex, would be like. really useful. but people took the terms and started using them as shorthand FOR normative sex instead of the ENFORCEMENT OF normative sex. so when other trans people (almost always dyadic trans people) ask for your agab they are almost always asking for your Original Genital Situation. your starting point, so to say. and the reason FOR asking is also almost always bc they are trying to also enforce a certain kind of normativity within queer spaces (which is stupid bc being queer is inherently non-normative but here we are). like, you cant be a lesbian if you're ftm, bc you ARE m, so if you ARE a lesbian, then that means you're lying about some aspect of your identity. does that make sense?
it is always always always incredibly.... i do not trust dyadic trans people that use cagab terms, even moreso than i do not trust dyadic trans people that just use agab terms. agab is also coopted intersex language, but the "coercive" part of cagab SPECIFICALLY refers to medical "intervention" of intersex characteristics, such as "corrective" surgeries and hrt. i am deeply fucking suspicious of any dyadic trans person that uses those terms exactly the same as described above, even moreso if they do so bc "all gender is coercive".
like. yeah. that's true. but you use these terms to erase and overtake intersex discussions on the medical abuse of intersex infants. and i cant help but wonder why you would feel the need to do that.
#iirc it was also common to tirf ideology and the baeddel group#< notoriously intersexist group#to say nothing of any other tirf beliefs#both of these misuses of agab and cagab come from the same source#but it is . deeply disconcerting with cagab#bc its like. that is such a lesser known term in the greater dyadic trans community#you would HAVE to have known what it originally meant#either YOU are misusing it INTENTIONALLY#or someone TAUGHT you to misuse it INTENTIONALLY#people that are cruel and bigoted always want to believe theyre good people#so its hard to convince them when they are being bigoted#esp as marginalized people#and especially as a marginalized people that is particularly affected by the same enforcement of normative sex#the more i learned about this the more i learned abt intersexism in trans spaces#the more i notice it. its so fucking pervasive#and like u should care abt intersexism on its own but its like#no surprise that the ppl misusing cagab terms usually are transandrophobic (as the discourse du jour) and exorsexist#these things go together and reinforce each other#anyways it sucks bc ill see a BEAUTIFULLY written analysis of transmisogyny but so often there will be#like one thing. two things maybe.#and ill go to ops blog search a few keywords and lo and behold#they are transphobic. they are intersexist. they are racist. they are aphobic.#all forms of exclusionist politic in the queer community just lead into each other ad infinitum#nauseating... and#i will read the theory of people who disgust me or who are fundamentally wrong abt other ppls experiences bc i think they still have#valuable things to say but i am SO FUCKING TIRED of running into the same goddamn problem EVERY fucking time#i think its just the posts that get circulated the most that are like that#bc i think the majority of people dont actively seek out and learn abt new queer theory as it rolls in#or other ppls experiences in general#so they dont learnt to recognize the red flags or even realize why its bad in the first place
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hypogryffin · 10 months
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TELL US ABOUT THE PRINCESS KNIGHT AU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PL
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ok sorry its been like two months but anyways lets talk abt the princess/knight au!!!
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haru is a princess, specifically the only heir to king kunikazu. yusuke is sort of a knight, but it's more that he's haru's personal bodyguard!
his mother was a court painter. she was pretty physically weak and fell ill a lot, and after she had yusuke, she realised that, while her and her family were able to live with the royal family for now due to her work, if and when her sickness claims her, her son would no longer be welcome in the castle. since she was all the family yusuke had, that would mean hed likely live the rest of his life on the streets, and as a young child, he wouldnt have the means to make that rest of his life a very long one.
so she made a deal with the king, haru's father, and it was decided he would grow up as harus retainer.
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[image ID slash written text for those who cant read my handwriting (😔):
(servant, holding a 1 year old haru in their arms): do you see him, princess? [a shot of a small baby sleeping] his name is yusuke. from now on, his job will be to protect you.
a note next to the drawing of baby haru reads "yusuke is a year younger than haru, as in canon, but it was decided very early on in his life that he would be haru's personal guard!"
a drawing of a young yusuke and haru with another note that says "he began learning how to wield a sword and bow basically as soon as he was physically able, but until he was learned enough to protect haru, he just acted sort of as an escort to her {while a retinue guarded both of them}"
end id.]
its a good thing it was decided so early, too: yusukes mother succumbed to illness before yusuke was even three years old. (he has no memory of her. haru doesnt either, but she DOES remember the funeral that was held.)
(one of the last pieces yusukes mother ever painted was of a young haru holding a baby, a man who would one day become her guard. it became a pretty significant piece for the okumura kingdom for a while, actually: it was used to mean "serve the royal family and it shall serve you, in turn". its hung up on the stairwell into the castle guards' quarters.)
anyway, so yusuke and haru grew up together. they were paired so early on into their lives that neither of them have any memory of a time without each other: for all it matters to them, they were born hand-in-hand with their roles set in place.
they were very close as children, especially before yusuke was considered sufficiently trained in his weapons. it was very common for them to walk around the castle holding hands, and they barely ever separated, only ever doing so for things like sleep or bathing, or lessons-- though the last of those wasnt always true. yusuke would have lessons alongside haru in things like etiquette, of course, but could also be found in the room for things such as history, or her music lessons. likewise, haru would watch yusuke train, though she wasnt allowed to wield a sword or bow herself and could only cheer him on.
(not until they were a bit older, when yusuke taught her how to fight with a sword himself. even then, they used wooden swords, so that haru wouldnt get hurt.)
yusuke was the only boy other than the king himself allowed in harus bedroom, since the only others given access were the handmaids responsible for things like cleaning her room, dressing or bathing her, et cetera. he used to enter as he pleased as such, and only got into the practice of properly knocking and announcing his presence as they got older. hes all-together almost completely stopped actually going into her room, opting instead to stand at her door until she leaves, herself.
as they grew up, they were steadily more and more discouraged from being as physically affectionate as they were as children. yusuke was punished for doing things like holding her hand if they were seen, and was taught to instead be a silent presence to her side or two paces behind her, seen and not heard, the way a "guard" ought to be. at the same time, harus etiquette lessons taught her the necessary decorum to be a princess and one day a queen, and there was no room for a friendship with a retainer, even if it was yusuke. though they care for each other just as much as when they were children, perhaps even more devoted, youd be fair to miss it, since neither of them are able to be open with each other anymore.
(yusukes still slightly more touchy-feely than whats probably expected of a guard. its not really physical affection in the same way, but he'll do things like brush dust or pluck lint off of haru's dresses himself or adjust her hair or jewelry or clothes-- of course, only to make sure her highness looks her best, so its forgiven to the outside observer, but still something technically not of his station.)
haru is a lot different that she was when they were children. proper etiquette is extensive, obviously, and the young girl that was considered the country's daughter, kind and open whenever seen in processions, has long since been stripped for parts. her public face has matured quite a bit by necessity, though her kindness and permanent smile remains-- it's simply that it's more of a part she plays, at this point, any of her natural disposition worn to steel, as a certain amount of control is necessary for a woman of her station.
she doesnt regret the person shes become, even if somewhat conniving-- after all, she needs a certain amount of cunning to keep her head above water in the political scene. or its more that she's not able to regret it, as she's never had any other option than to become as jaded as she is today.
still, it's hard not to yearn for the old days, when they were innocent children. shes not quite aware of it, herself, but she certainly misses yusuke, her friend. its just hard to figure that out when to this day, yusuke, her guard, remains as staunchly by her side as her best friend always has.
when i made the initial drawings for the princess/knight au, i wrote the beginning of a short story of a yusuke pov that i unfortunately must have tossed it because i dont have it anymore, but his character is defined by his devotion. hes never known anything other than being haru's, after all, and considers everything he does a labour of love for her. every moment he spends training is for her, every injury for her sake, every callous a simple, unavoidable byproduct of his servitude. he keeps the posture he learned in his etiquette classes even in private, because erring once is to live with the knowledge of his erring forever, and more than that, risking forming the habit of being anything less than the perfect knight for his lady is something he can't bear the thought of.
luckily, there isnt much danger living in the castle, so yusuke only trains as ardently as he does as precaution for the most part, but there was one incident in which the castle was attacked by royal detractors. haru wasnt actively targeted, being only 8 years old at the time, but there was a spot of trouble where he had to protect her. yusuke, being 7, wasnt fully learned in his swordsmanship yet, and sustained a few scars, including but not limited to one on his eyebrow he hides behind his hair, but considers himself barely harmed, especially considering that that was the incident that took many other castle guards' lives, as well as the life of the queen, haru's mother.
king kunikazu and the kingdom at large is currently pretty uneasy due to a war brewing just a bit away; neither the kingdom nor any of its current allies are being actively threatened, but its one of already many due to one kingdom's ancient rome-esque conquering of a path of smaller countries, and the "okumura" kingdom looks as if it will be on the warpath sooner or later. due to this, the kingdom's engaged with an alliance with a comparatively smaller kingdom that it neighbours. the alliance is going to be officiated with a marriage: haru is kunikazu's only heir, but due to some societal stuff, as a woman she's considered unfit to rule as a monarch. so, she's now to be married with one of the sons of said neighbouring kingdom, who will act as ruler with her at his side:
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akira is the son of the king and technically an eligible heir to the kurusu kingdom, but due to his place as the 4th son, he's not a crown prince/not considered to be in line for the throne-- or at least, not to his home nation, as he's now set to be the king of the okumura kingdom.
he seems to be of the same mind as haru: uninterested in her in a romantic sense, but has accepted the marriage for the sake of his country. however, he also seems completely uninterested-- or perhaps actively against-- the prospect of being king, not of his own country and not of the okumura kingdom. it seems that hes grown up acting as more of a free spirit; hes pretty crafty, and has a reputation amongst his own retinue for always managing to sneak off, running away as soon as hes left unattended by his father or instructors, or disappearing overnight (much to the grief and distress of his caretakers), though he's always returned, apparently rather aware of his own limits, or at least capable of getting himself out of whatever trouble he ends up getting into, without drawing the ire of either the common people or his father, the king.
because of his nature, he either sees himself as unfit for king, or merely feels stifled by the idea of the position, and in private talks has disclosed to haru that hed much rather her take her (in his words) rightful place as the queen and head of the nation, and is more than alright with her being the brains/power of the operation, even if in the end it has to be him giving speeches when necessary.
however, while disliking the idea of being a king in general, and also disinterested in haru as anything more than a confidant (having also privately disclosed to her that he does have his eye on someone), he seems attached to the arrangement of this marriage, for “some unknown reason”.
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((thats right baby its ALSO a kitashu au get fucked))
akira and haru are officially engaged at the time of the story, and are in the midst of planning for the wedding! they tentatively become friends, since theyre both kind of stuck with each other presumably for the rest of their lives. hes seemingly made a goal to make haru let her guard down, and has even convinced her at some point to sneak out of the castle with him (at a point where he and his father were visiting) to explore the surrounding town without their retinues-- something that gave yusuke specifically about 7 heart attacks, as its something harus never done before.
oh yeah, and by the way, yusuke fucking hates akira.
haru really liked seeing the town without her guards, and without having to put on the air of princess. it was freeing to act as a commoner, and the first time shes been able to strip herself of her etiquette-- something she cant do around anyone in the castle, not even yusuke, at least not to the extent she has to to blend in with the townspeople. she liked it so much that it becomes a regular thing whenever akira is at the castle and not in his own country.
some of harus caretakers have noticed her disappearances, including yusuke, who is at her side in almost every waking moment: he greets her in the morning to escort her to breakfast and brings her to her room at night. when hes not standing at her side, hes guarding the room shes in, and only leaves her when its time for him to turn in for the night, as well. obviously hes noticed this sudden habit of disappearing, and more than that, HES the one who ends up tasked with discouraging harus maids from disclosing this to king kunikazu, since haru isnt aware theyve figured her out, and their social standing disallows them from discussing it with her themselves. haru asked yusuke to keep her and akira's outings a secret from her father when he confronted her after the first time, so its his duty to make sure its a secret.
its not that yusuke resents akira for giving him more work-- hes more than happy to do something as trivial as this for haru, his princess, but its more that this means yusukes forced to be idle while distinctly aware that haru, who hes spent his entire life protecting and caring for, is off somewhere unknown, could be in danger or could be physically harmed, and hes not only none the wiser but also complicit, by allowing her to do this. though he cant ask her to stop, because its clear haru is happier with these momentary escapes. its a miserable position to be in, and he fully blames akira for being the one to put him there
(and resents him for the fact that akira is an outsider and a newcomer. despite this, its clear that hes doing something for haru that yusuke hasnt been able to, not since they started growing up. hes making her happy, and comfortable.
its anxiety over harus safety, and an intense, burning jealousy that hes not really able to identify in the same way)
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[text id:
yusuke looking angry as he says "my lady's happiness is of the utmost importance to me. it is for this reason alone that i will allow these escapades to go on, without reporting them to the king or your father." "this marriage will be essential to this country's future, and i have no intention of interfering in your relationship with your fiancée, even considering my role as her loyal servant."
the second drawing reveals him to have cornered akira, seemingly pinning him to a wall, as he continues "however, if i find you to ever, ever put the princess's life in danger, then this country as well as your own be damned, i will strike you down myself, and i swear on my life to make your death ten thousand times as painful as whatever harm you have caused to her highness. do you understand, my lord?"
akira is blushing heavily, knees cowed slightly. he stutters out a "uh. uh-huh" like he's in a trance. an arrow points to him with a note that reads "his gay ass is NOT listening!"
end id]
for some actual story…
during a banquet held in celebration of akira and haru's engagement, king kunikazu suddenly collapsed and lost his life in that room. it was discovered that the cup he was drinking from was poisoned.
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no one has any idea who assassinated the king-- it could very well be some of the many citizens that disliked the king's rather strict policies. the taxes are high, and punishment for crimes tend to be much stricter than in other countries. however, a common rumour among many of the townsfolk is that it was the world of the neighbouring kingdom: a ploy to get prince akira in power in order to take over the nation and subsume it as part of the kurusus' country.
regardless of whether or not that has any merit or is simply baseless rumour, the wedding has been temporarily postponed so that the country-- and haru-- may focus on the investigation. akira, at the least, seems more than willing to help. if it really the scheme of his nation, or of his father, he seems both unaware and unwilling to be a part of it, offering every aid he can to haru, even if it ends up only effectively being an open ear.
yusuke remains by her side, as he always had and as he always will-- perhaps a bit more protective of her, somehow, but the entire castle is on edge, so its not as if thats unexpected. as a knight, a simple extension of his lady's will, he cant do much for her to solve her problems, not possessing the intelligence to solve the case of her father's murder, the political knowhow to aide her and her fathers advisor who's acting as regent pro tempore in ruling, nor a magical ability to bring king kunikazu, someone who he had come to see as his own father in some form, himself, back from the land of the dead. still, he is harus humble servant, and devoted to her above all else, and whatever his lady needs, he will do his best to provide.
the story is about the political aspect of haru and akiras ascension to ruling and of trying to find a culprit, but also about the relationship between the three of them: akira getting closer to both of them, and yusuke and haru reconnecting. :)
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smultronviol · 7 months
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Honestly I think the most unforgivable crime comitted by the new ATLA adaptation is bringing back the fucking kataang/zutara discourse🥰
Like, I can forgive a lot, but I can't forgive the fact that my own eyes, in the year of our lord 2024, have to be subjected to takes I first saw on 2011 DeviantArt
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so-very-small · 10 months
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me: been a while since i made some fluffy g/t ocs, i should do that
the little mouse who runs in circles in my brain and talks endlessly about g/t: oh no
me: you took the fluff and turned it into a fucked up enemies to devoted lovers dynamic, didn’t you
my little brain mouse: oh yes
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starswallowingsea · 1 year
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idc about shu gender discourse but i was thinking about it this morning and i dont think shu would really use specific labels. to me his gender is just his art and his music more than anything else which makes it difficult to define with words. gender is a performance art
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feline-evil · 5 months
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Dick or no dick confirmation Pickles was always going to be trans to me anyways; if he's swingin' somethin that's phallo babes, if he's not then his t-dick fat. What's not to get.
#metalocalypse#jay talkin#I'm sorry they wrote that awful gross little man far too likeable and relatable to on a trans level#for me not to hoot and holler and cheer for the trans pickles agenda#changes nothing about his character arc or any of the show anyone is capable of being the kind of person he is#don't make the mistake of thinking thats exclusive to cis men#his transness wouldnt change that#only adds on an extra layer to him that i think works fantastically.#Listen that dude was rejected by his family driven to drink and drugs young to escape that ran away to be in a band#is called fucking Pickles of all things and refuses to tell anyone his real last name;#over the span of four seasons and two movies he slowly starts to learn to be for others what he never had#he becomes more caring more supportive#it's not a stretch to say he undoes some of the toxic masculinity he's been keeping himself shielded behind#and learns how to be a kinder man.#all of which have no contradictions with him being trans!#In fact it doesn't take much extra thought to find ways a lot of this can line up with some trans masculine experiences#i mean. Did no one else have a younger phase where they swung as far as they could into crass rude and uncaring ways#to try and assert their masculinity only to grow and realise that you can be a man and be more caring.#Did no one else have father issues. 1 800 come on now i know those are both shared experiences a lot of us have had LOL.#at the end of the day this show aired nearly 20 years ago and is finished. we're not getting more of it#so nothing is altered nor changed if pickles is canonically trans or not ok. its fine#i mean hell i dont even need canon confirmation hes trans to me and thats all i care abt#but i think if yr getting suuuuuper weird abt needing him not to be canonically trans you have some issues#and bio essentialist ideals of gender if you think only a cis man can act like he does#again. anyone can be like that. its not exclusive. him being trans would not change him in any way shape or form lol#AND ALSO GODDDUUUGH for once i love getting to see a guy pushing 50 whos depicted as trans#do you have any idea how dire and barren it is out here. we never get to see a trans guy older than 30 and whos not a pristine model#I WANT MORE OLD SHLUBBY SHITHEAD TRANS GUYS IN MEDIA
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kideternity · 6 months
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[Image ID: Inked digital drawing of Digimon character Justimon. Justimon is a humanoid with a heavily Tokusatsu superhero inspired design- wearing a bodysuit with multiple different armoured parts particularly around their left shoulder, elbow and wrist, ankles, knees and chest and abdomen area as well as rivets dotted around their body. They have a belt with a large circular belt buckle spiked at four corners in the middle, as well as a very long scarf. They have a metal helmet on with no facial features, and four metal antenna- two longer ones that are sticking up and two shorter ones sticking down at each ear area respectively. Their right arm- a redesign of the accel arm- is much longer and bigger, with sharp claws at the end of it. It is very mechanical looking, with tubing and more rivet and gear motifs, their right shoulderpad having a blunt spike coming up from the middle. They are in a mid action pose, as if they were jumping or running, looking to the side with their head slightly lowered, their left arm bent closer towards their body whilst the right arm is fully outstretched. There are dark patches of shadow around certain parts of their body and scarf as well as small action lines. /End Image ID]
His strange fighting pose
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faaun · 6 months
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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papirouge · 2 months
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Why don't we keep/make abortion illegal and provide better access to health/pregnancy care since death in childbirth disproportionally affects Brown/Black/poor communities? :)
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lunar-lair · 8 months
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every time i think of system jason i think about. well first i think about how jason todd is a separate alter but jason todd is also the person because thats the name they own but the main host for like 20 years goes by jason and thats his name and. anyways. next i think about the ways he dissociates. but THEN i think about the littles/teens/even some adults that will only respond to robin or their name, and if they dont have a name, just robin, and maybe jason
sometimes its just a game of firing off names. some of them only respond to red hood, some of them respond to jason todd in full specifically, some of them respond to peter. theyre bad at names and in the early days its hard to figure out whos who (both in the system and out), too, so sometimes theyll just stare at whoevers talking to them with squinted eyes until they say a name they recognize as their own. some of them only respond to Specific Nicknames, some of them love people besides dick and bruce and alfred (and sometimes damian and tim and steph, but not duke, or...you get the picture) because they all love their family, even if they dont know them, but they dont Know Them. and some of them only respond to jaylad or jaybird or little bird, some of the older ones only respond to damian. its definitely a trial and error kind of thing. usually they can interact with everyone just fine, but some days they find jason in the kitchen and when tim tries to talk to him he looks away and creeps into a corner of the kitchen and they have to find dick and then bruce (bad choice) and then damian. its the trauma conversation but its also the memory conversation and the 'who are you to yourself and who do people know you as' conversation. i have a lot of thoughts abt jason w osdd/did (preferably did that sounds more like him) it does things to my brain. this post was supposed to be abt alters that respond to robin and then i just. kept talking. oops
oh my god the thought i just had. some of the littles dont know any of them and just hole themselves away in the library and everyones like 'ok has anyone seen jason he skittered off earlier and he looked fucking Scared we are Worried' but they learned early on that looking for him is a Bad Idea because hell get scared. so they just have to wait until jason texts one of them or smth like 'bad news weve got a new kid and they dont know any of you. good news we know what they respond to. bad news its a nickname from our mom most of us cant bear to hear. good news were getting them a name. bad news we cant leave the library yet. were alive though' and thats all they have to go off until he trudges out of the library three hours later asking what the hell happened because the little and a protector had a whole Convo then threw jason back in front to fend for himself
ok thats it this time i think. for real this time. anyways i have thoughts abt system jason if you have any queries please ask them i would love to talk abt him
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seaweedstarshine · 5 months
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Sometimes I think of Amy Pond, who grew up being called mad by those who wielded the word as a tool of exclusion and shame —
Amy Pond, who though forced into the hands of four psychiatrists, still clung to that which they called madness until those systems which elevate psychosocial conformity above humanity stripped it from her —
Amy Pond, whose imaginary friend reappeared for a single hour after twelve years and reignited that faith before disappearing for two more years —
Amy Pond, who spent those those two years under the same implicit threat ingrained in her through psychiatric violence, and thus began to believe the man who stopped the invasion was “just a madman with a box,” only for him to agree, and to also call her “mad, impossible Amy Pond,” reframing madness as non-negative for the first time in her life —
Amy Pond, who ignored the disembodied voice of her imaginary friend even as she ran away with him for real, who still lived each day with the traumatic internalization of deviancy dictated upon her by the psychiatric-industrial complex that shaped her from childhood —
Amy Pond, who wouldn't acknowledge the Doctor's voice, such that it took an Angel in her eye that was literally killing her to ensure she couldn't reality check herself —
Amy Pond, who stood before a room which muttered about “the psychiatrists we brought her to,” and though afraid, escaped their rigid parameters of acceptable existence.
#I like seeing it as indicating she began hearing his voice when he was gone for all those years! why else wouldn't she say anything?#actually psychotic Amy agenda#Amy Pond#eleventh doctor#reclaimed language#oh look its another antipsychiatry themed doctor who post#sumn abt in Fairies At The Bottom Of The Garden audio AND Imaginary Enemies comic we see Amelia bein called slurs against psychotic people#(shes called psycho in both)#like!!! and SO MUCH OF AMYS STORY is about her claiming her agency in ways that previous companions weren't allowed to-#companions whose status as a Wife was a signifier of an to end of their value individually- 'this is no place for a married woman' etc#in some cases Wife-ness forced upon them *as* a denial of agency 'I spent all that time trying to find you I'm not going back now!' etc#whereas Amys story deconstructs that; Amys “Choice” is an illusion- Amy being a Wife doesn't demote her agency as an companion#anyways I love that aspect of reclaimed agency for Amy but ALSO#“madness” as an expression of agency against systems of oppression is SO relevant. the mind defends itself and the alternative isnt better#the oppressive system in this case being ableist structures and the psychiatric system ITSELF which is a whole other layer#the moral being that even if the Doctor WAS a delusion? he'd still be a needed coping mechanism for a child who says “ppl always leave”#and instead of examining her feelings of abandonment they insist 'aLiENs DoNt ExIsT' as seen in the 'sTaRs DoNt ExIsT' psychiatrist in TBB#they don't care that she's in PAIN- why would they?- they just care that she's 'abnormal' and therefore not deserving of humanity#(eleventh) doctor is neurodivergent tag#I mean technically this is about Amy but I once (twice) used that tag on the post about the Master. its the spirit of it!#and Amy Pond + her Raggedy Doctor as “mad” people is very *chefs kiss*#((you know what im putting the tag on my last Amy post :D ))#Mels experienced this very differently and I'll make a post about her at some point- I just wanna make sure my points are got across better#sumn abt Amelia's “crazy” was Mels' “delinquency.” Amy treated as if she doesn't know her own life while Mels treated as threatening#sumn abt adultification of Black girls while Amy is infantilized#Amy Pond who could rewrite reality in a reborn universe because she grew up with a Crack in her wall that no one believed was special —#ableism#saneism#unreality#because I mean Amy's stand against psychiatric dehumanization was to REWRITE THE UNIVERSE with her Crack powers
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my-thoughts-and-junk · 3 months
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i have to think about chilchuck and laios forever
#random thoughts#dungeon meshi#the fact laios is holding back so much anger and he's the one who chilchuck lets out so much of his anger on#like you've seen how many times he beats on him and degrades him and laios just takes it#they're both holding so many secrets from their party like???#chilchuck's entire personal life. laios's interest in monsters and kensuke.#the fact laios somehow hid his interest in eating monsters from the entire party before this???#laios is estranged from his parents and very close with his sister. chilchuck is estranged from his wife and very close with his daughters#chilchuck thinks laios knows him better than anyone else in the party. chilchuck canonically thinks laios is dangerous and unreasonable#which like? reductive but accurate.#laios holds the lives of those he cherishes above all else. the world could go to hell for all he cares as long as those he loves are safe#chilchuck fears intimacy and could never admit how much he values the people around him unless under severe threat#god. i have to read dungeon meshi again. i need to analyze them#one self-sacrificing dumbass and one self-preserving selfish dumbass#laios has problems putting his needs first when it comes to those he loves. i can easily see that conflicting with chilchucks selfishness#i do think after chilchucks failed marriage he would become more hypervigilant in his relationships once he allows himself to date again#like he doesn't necessarily understand what he did wrong but he knows he did something#god the irony of someone so perceptive failing to recognize his wife's needs#imagining chilchuck recognizing laios is not satisfied by something and he asks him abt it and laios is like 'no im fine dont worry abt me'#like fully sincere. laios is used to denying himself what he needs for others#ran away from home when falin was being mistreated. sacrifices his body in the end when he becomes The Big Guy#suppresses himself to try and make others like him more or at least dislike him less#do you think he'd suppress himself at first when in a relationship with chilchuck out of fear of driving him away#chilchuck's perception vs laios's poor masking fight fight fight#god they both fear each other leaving. laios because he fears being like his father and driving chilchuck away like his dad drove him away#and chilchuck because his wife left him and he didn't fully understand Why.#the fact chilchuck thinks laios should act like more of a leader. do you think he fears becoming a poor leader like his dad?#chilchuck trusts and values laios as a leader and that scaring the shit out of both of them 👌👌👌#this is why they're switches okay
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dragonseeds · 6 months
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i didn't realize you were such a big fan of rhaegar, he's definitely a controversial figure in the fandom
i would classify myself as a rhaegar enjoyer or understander but sure, yes. that’s my guy, my black hole at the center of the narrative, my story within the story, my darling miserable failure, tristan and lancelot/guinevere and paris/hector and three different romantic heroes crammed into one singular person whose entire life was a chosen one deconstruction saw trap that he could never escape and ending up pulling not only everyone he loved but also the entire continent into with him. grrm simply went off in the character creation with this.
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