#so on top of seeing one of her favorite characters in agony she also thought it was sacrilegious and god would punish her for it

[storm-cellar]

every time i see people talk about the weird dreams they have because of black mold in their water bottles on here i don't take it too seriously until i remember my sister had a sequence of dreams in which dogman from the dogman comics was being crucified like jesus in glorious 4k quality (nails and all) and meat tentacles (?) were trying to stop her from saving him, and they only stopped when mom washed her water bottle. and then i go wash MY water bottle because good lord

[doodledrawsthings]

Opinions on the Sols from Nine Sols immediately. Please. Your au is delish.

Keep in mind these are my very off-the-top-of-my-head, surface level impressions of them after having recently beaten the game on story mode once, while streaming. I won’t be giving any deep analysis or anything lol so the tone will be pretty jokey and unserious.

MAJOR major Nine Sols spoilers under the cut. Please do not read if you haven’t finished the game.

Kuafu: second favorite character. I love him so much. He’s such a pal, everybody likes him. Hou Yi left him as the final sun standing after shooting down the other nine cuz he’s just a stand up guy. The fact that he’s the one who pled keep Abacus around and set his settings to High Sympathy and kept coming in to talk to him out of guilt over what happened to Yi kills me. Smart, silly, handsome, the last remaining Solarian in existence and he can never go home for the remainder of his life. He’s my ride or die bestie, he’s one of my several husbands who babysit my little brother while I go off on a revenge murder spree and I’m kissing him on the mouth.

Goumang: I like her design and concepts and think she’s a fun character. She was the first boss I fought and i thought she was pretty fun, though I didn’t find the fight as memorable as others. I wish she had more presence throughout the game, I heard from a friend she had some more stuff that was cut apparently? Curious about her rivalry with Yi and relationship with Eigong. And since Yi technically never killled her I’ve considered including her in the Dont Worry About It AU.

Yanlao: Grampa!! I think he and Yi’s back and forth throughout the warehouse area was pretty funny. I was so ready to kick his ass the entire time, especially after the segment where he’s shooting at you as you navigate a maze. Loved his bossfight, first fight of the first three i started with where I really felt the parry/dodge/attack rhythm for the first time. Rip gramps.

Jiequan: BASTARD!! (Half-affectionate but only half) he’s giving Fruity Disney Villain Who Flirts With You As He Stabs You In The Chest. He sucks <3 but he’s such a FUN character, what a great antagonist. His fake out fight is so intense, the prison scene is so intense, his boss fight kicked my ass and his theme goes hard. He’s a war criminal, he’s a freak, he looks like All Might MHA and he regularly irradiates himself as part of his body building routine. “Heroes are forged in agony!” 10/10 Disney villain, very stylish. Defeating him was so satisfying especially after the Kanghui fight in the prison and learning what happened with THAT horror show.

Lady Ethereal: I LOVE HER!! SO MUCH!!! UGH!!! she makes me so sad! But everything about her is SO cool! Her fate! Her backstory!! Her design! Her boss fight! Her entire platforming area!!! Just!!! Aah! I won’t say too much but it’s just so good she had my favorite fight in the game, the dance for that one is so much fun. I was streaming the game on discord for my partner and another friend and when we first went into the cortex, she was like “oh you should keep going left and see what’s over there ;)” and then I did and just!!! So cool that Red Candle started off making horror games, it’s really great. Love it. Awesome character, awesome boss, awesome theme.

Fuxi and Nuwa: Rich asshole twins!! These two suck lol but I do think they’re fun characters. The entire empyrean district is experiencing a resident evil style zombie infection and Nuwa is throwing a rager at the club for the rich cryosleepers only. It’s really eerie over there though, I love the vibe of the east side and the discovery of the mutants and destruction of the west half is spooky as hell. And then I got to the area where you get Fuxi’s sol seal and didn’t even notice he was sitting there until my partner pointed him out. I thought he was furniture lol. She’s really puppeting around her brother’s pustule-riddled zombie corpse Weekend at Bernie’s style cuz she’s that much in denial. Also absolutely horrifying that the district supposedly once held 100,000 sleeping solarians that is whittled down to 300 after the mutated virus wreaks havoc through the area. Personally, I’m mixed on their bossfight, the first half with just Fuxi was fun once I got the rhythm but the 2nd half when Nuwa comes in with her attacks gets a bit too chaotic for me. Their boss theme, however, is probably my favorite in the game. I love the opera samples, it’s so cool.

Ji: I think about them a lot. Like, wow what a guy. I think a lot about his immortality, and that if he had not left Penglai with the council he would have been stuck there, alone for eternity. I think about the fact that because they will never get Tianhuo, there would be no need for them to be in cryosleep, which probably means that in the 502 years that Yi was recovering, he was probably up and about the entire time, probably wandering around new Kunlun mostly alone. I wonder if they ever hung out with the dusk guardians, or if they just stayed in the grotto for the most part. Their boss fight felt the most like a dance to me, or like friends sparring. Do you think they thought of Lear as you attacked them with the moves he taught you in the spiritual realm? He makes me sad, but he is very stylish!

Eigong: FUCK HER! SHES SO COOL, BUT FUCK HER!!! EVIL GRANDMA! this games story is like peeling back an onion of horrors where each layer you peel back brings new, mortifying understanding of the situation at large until it ALL. COMES BACK. TO HER! AND HER FRUITLESS PURSUIT OF IMMORTALITY! Her boss fight KICKED MY ASS. I was streaming my first playthrough, so I was already prone to doing worse than I probably would without an audience (emphasis on probably) but in my first attempt I was fighting her for like 6 HOURS STRAIGHT. And for the true ending too, which meant three boss phases. I just could not get her pattern down and my hands were cramping but i really wanted to finish the game that weekend so I could finally talk about it so I ended up turning up the accessibility options to one punch man her. I did eventually go back and do her fight by myself with the story mode settings and MAN what a fun boss battle once you get the dance down (I’m still so bad at unbound counter), and it is SO satisfying to beat. Incredible character, we love fictional old women who commit atrocities in the name of science.

Yi: and finally we have the man, the myth, the legend. I could probably write a whole separate post about him and Heng and his relationships with the other characters but to keep it short- I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! BUT IM ALSO BITING HIM AND PUTTING HIM IN A BLENDER AND RUNNING HIM THROUGH THE DISHWASHER AND HANGING HIM UP TO DRY. Just UGH! It’s not common for the main character of a thing to be my favorite character but Yi is my favorite character. It’s the fact that he is his own character, and we, the player, must gradually find out things that HE already knows. And his budding and flowering relationships with the other characters, especially those who set up shop in the pavillion which leads into his character development is just AUGH. AND THE ENDINGS. YOU ALREADY KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT GHE ENDINGS. THEYRE GOOD BUT AUGH. I love him, I’m rotating him in my mind on a skewer, he’s my little manlet, my poor little “I’m not a good person” shadow the hedgehog energy meow meow cat boy. I love him so much, I’m so distraught over his terrible life choices. Incredible character.

Ok hope that was entertaining to read, bye.

[eywaseclipse]

Burning Desire*

Characters: Na’vi reader, So’lek featuring Ri’nela

Synopsis: (Pre-hallelujah mountain battle and rda resistance) So’lek and y/n go into the jungle for a daily herb retrieval to help with Ri’nelas healing practices, when you come across a strange looking flower. So’lek accidentally brushes past it, causing an aggressive pollen to pollute the air and affect him. The flower just so happens to be the Txunmga Mowan Fìsyulang also known as the Poisonous Pleasing Flower. The effects of the sex pollen only enhance what feelings are already there, creating a stronger more powerful desire, bringing all to the surface. If not treated immediately one may feel as if they are dying, causing extreme sexual agony and discomfort.

Warnings: really just no plot all smut 18+ only

Word Count: 3k

You finish the last strand of hair completing your fresh braids, as you string you favorite jade bead into your silky black locks with a satisfied sigh. Your feather and leaf top sways lightly as you rise to get your herb pouch and bow together. You take one last look in your mirror to asses your work, grabbing your things, securing your knife, and bow waiting for So’lek to accompany you on your extractions. The sudden flap to your tent moves with a slap, causing your head to turn to the source. A toothy smile meets your own, as you see So’lek enter your home. “Hey sevin pretty.” He greets you. “Hi So’lek.” You can’t help the way your heart beats a hair faster at the sight of the mighty warrior, your cheeks blushing in the process. “You ready for herb retrieval today? Ri’nela gave a list of what she needs replenished.” You nod your head, “Yup. Spent yesterday with her as she went over everything. I’m all set.” You say securing your bow and arrows one last time. You notice the way his eyes slightly advert from your face, to your chest just barely gazing to your nipples poking through your feathered top. A small smirk falls on your face as you catch him, a cough erupts both your thoughts. “I-okay, let’s go.” He awkwardly waves his hand to you. You chuckle to yourself as you both descend from the branches and into the thick of the forest. 

You walk in comfortable silence, the sun peaking through the leaves of the canopy leaving streaks of light across your blue skin gently caressing it with warmth. You let out a content sigh, with So’lek enjoying the hot afternoon as well. “Did Suya finally lose her baby tooth?” You interrupt the quiet. So’lek looks to you, eyes wide in amusement. “Yes, but only because she begged me to tie a string around it and yank it out so she would get her prize.” You and him laugh, knowing how entertaining that would be to witness. “My, what a sight that would’ve been huh?” “You should have seen it, my dad almost passed out from stress.” He laughs to you. Just as you’re about to respond a small plump object obstructs your path. You quickly avoid the round fruit and look down. “Holy shit So’lek look! Utumauti Banana Fruit.” Your happy eyes look to So’lek just as shocked as you are, kneeling down to get a better look. “You know what they say about those who find a bananafruit right?” “Good luck.” 

You smile. You take the plump fruit, and hold it out to So’lek, offering it to the warrior. “Here, you should have it. I know it’s your favorite.” You nudge it towards him. His hands lightly push it back to you, “No way, you’re the one who found it pretty girl. It’s all yours.” You lightly roll your eyes to him. “Did you fall on your head So’lek, you know it’s rude to refuse a banana fruit. Come on have it, it’s what I want.” You smile. You see the internal conflict through his eyes knowing that as a Na’vi custom it’s rude to take the offer as Eywa would like the fruit to be enjoyed by its finder. He sighs deeply, grabbing the fruit from your hand,  taking out his hunting knife and proceeding to cut it down the middle slicing it in half, juices dripping down his hands. “Here, we share it.” He says with a proud smirk. “Alright.” You take your half of the fruit and slowly bring it to your lips, the pungent delicious flesh pops in your mouth, with the sweet flavors bursting onto your tastebuds. “Mmmm” You close your eyes in delight, hearing So’lek do the same. 

Both of you relish in the rare find of an untouched bananafruit from the canopy treetops, humming in satisfaction, continuing your search for the herbs Ri’nela requested. With one of the plants on your list now in front of you, you begin scan the leaves of the ripe Paywll water plant, squeezing the succulent skin to make sure it can be harvested for its wondrous healing properties. Content with the ripeness, you take your hunting knife and begin cutting the ends of the leaf to put into your herb pouch, “Y/n come take a look at this plant, I have never seen one of these before. Was this one on this list?” You turn your head to where he points to the blue flower. “What plant?” You inquire. But it’s too late, he sneezes loudly as the pungent pollen invades his nose causing the disorientation to make him stumble back. You run to him, gripping his shoulders looking for any signs of injury. “So’lek?! Hey!” His eyes meet yours, blinking several times as if in a trance. His pupils begin to widen so much, they completely drown out the color of his amber eyes. You stare in horror as his expression turns into something you can’t quite name. You look down to where the fallen flower sits in the grass, kneeling to get a better look. Its beautiful blue petals have speckles of purple and bioluminescent dots scattered all around, with the inside has its pollen. And then it occurred to you, during the wet summer season many of these poisonous flowers bloom in the damp areas of the forest. “Shit.” You whisper softly. You turn your head back up to So’lek where his chest begins to fall up and down, breathing harder and harder. “Y/n what’s happening to me? Fuck.” He groans out. 

You slowly bring yourself in front of him, looking to where his skin begins to sweat small beads from frustration. “So’lek, don’t panic. But I think you just inhaled the fumes of the Txunmga Mowan Fìsyulang Poisonous Pleasing Flower..” So’lek struggles to keep his composure as he fights the urges now beginning to take their effect. “The what?” He groans out. “Fuck I gotta call this in. Ri’nela will know what to do.” You bring your fingers to your neck comm, silently praying she’s wearing hers or close by to hear you ping the channel, as you hear So’lek fall to the ground with a loud thud. “Ri’nela, this is y/n, it’s an emergency!” “Y/n?” Her voice sparks to life. “Ri’nela, I think So’lek might’ve inhaled the toxic fumes of the Poisonous Pleasing Flower. I don’t know what to do, it seems it’s taken its effects already.” You wait anxiously for her reply. “Shit, y/n, this is not good. The only way to satiate the poison is to… allow it to run its course.” “How? I’ll do anything.” You hear her take a deep sigh. “Y/n, he’s about to feel the most intense sexual urges, you need to be careful. The plant only heightens the emotions of one’s desires that already exist. I shouldn’t tell you this, but So’lek feels those urges towards you. You need to be careful.” Your stomach drops to her confession, could you have heard her right? Sexual urges? So’lek? For You?? “Ri’nela what are you saying?” You whisper softly. “I think you know..You have to tame the beast or else the poison will cause his mind to aggressively hallucinate. Under the sex pollen’s effect one will think they need to have sex or they’ll die. It’s best to submit to avoid getting hurt. I’m sorry y/n there’s not much you can do now.” Your ears pin to your skull, knowing Ri’nela is only trying to help. You sigh, “It’s okay Ri’nela I got this. Thanks.” “Good luck.” She bids you goodbye. You can hear the shaking in her voice worrying for you, but you look to where So’lek is now heaving in confusion, you must do whatever it takes to help him.

You rush to his side bending down, careful your touch doesn’t alarm him. “Y/n I feel…ah!” He winces to your touch. “Fuck I’m sorry So’lek! This was the sex pollen from the Poisonous Pleasing Flower.” “The what? Fuck why am I feeling this way?” He looks down to where his loincloth forms a tent, his now throbbing length creating a tight bulge through the material. He begins to whimper, bringing his hand to palm his growing boner closing his eyes in the process. You’ve never seen such a sight before, your cheeks flush with embarrassment. Trying to look away, but you can’t help but stare at him in wonder. “So’lek, the effects of the poison will have you believing that if you do not relieve yourself through sex, you will die.” “Fuck” he whimpers. You witness him start to aggressively hump the air, bucking into nothing as he desperately clings to pleasure himself, when suddenly he pounces onto you with your back hitting the soft grass. “Ah!” A surprised yelp escapes your mouth. “Y/n, this feeling, I can’t fight it. I don’t think I can hold back. Everything I feel right now, is telling me to fuck you senseless. To breed you completely and take you as mine. I’m trying so hard not to hurt you.” He whimpers out. 

You see the way he bites down on his lip, his eyes squeezed shut with brows furrowed tightly. Your heart aches knowing he is clinging onto the last thread of composure and sanity, desperate to be the gentleman he was raised to be. You know he is waiting for your verbal consent, it’s all he needs before he can truly unleash the beast waiting to erupt from within. You take a gulp of breath, touching his face softly, as he moans in the process. “So’lek, it’s me. I’m here. It’s okay. I want you to fuck me. Make me yours, I’ll submit to you completely.” You see as his eyes shoot open, huge pupils penetrating your soul. “You-you’re sure? Ah fuck. If I start I won’t be able to stop. I might hurt you.” He groans out fighting the pleasure. “So’lek don’t worry about me, I can take it.” You nod furiously. That’s all he needs to hear, as he plunges his lips into yours in a violent kiss. His tongue immediately assaults your own, poking into your mouth causing a pathetic whimper to escape. His teeth clank into yours, as he pushes his head as hard as he can into you. 

“Fuck.” He starts to rut his hips into yours harder and harder, your loincloth now beginning to soak with your own arousal. “Oh So’lek that feels so good, don’t stop.” His ears perk up to your sweet little whimpers, as he flips you over bring your body onto his stomach. “Look at you submitting to me little girl. All desperate. I bet you have the sweetest little pussy.” He growls into you. “Come on, sit on my fucking face.” He whines. You immediately do as he says, fearing any resistance could result to danger. You’re quick to untie the strings of your loincloth, releasing from your tail, it falls down, as you throw it to the side. Your throbbing pussy lips glisten in the afternoon light, your juices now falling onto his stomach. “Oh fuck, even prettier than I imagined.” He groans. Your swollen bud practically throbs with excitement as you feel his strong hands grip your hips harshly, bringing you to hover over his face. 

Your cheeks flush with shyness, as he aggressively lowers you to his mouth, your clit immediately making contact with his nose. “Oh!” You squeal out. “Mmmmmm.” He groans into your silky lips, relishing in the taste of your sweet nectar. He begins to prod his tongue through your tight hole, flicking it back and forth while his nose rubs against your clit over and over again. You look down to where his eyes are closed in complete bliss as you grip his braids holding on for dear life. “Oh!” You throw your head back in ecstasy feeling him begin to suck and slurp harshly. He brings his head to sway back and forth, shaking it to give you the perfect amount of stimulation, as he brings a free hand to slip under his loincloth desperate to feel his own release. The fire burning in your stomach starts to reach its height, feeling his lips begin to suction onto your swollen bud, “Oh So’lek!” You scream out. All he can do is moan into your pussy, the vibrations sending electricity to course through your veins. With one last harsh suck, you feel the fire now erupt through your body with your thighs convulsing violently on top of him. Your juices squirt out onto his face and chest coating him with your nectar. Your breath heaving you look down to where he lays, as you climb off of him. You see a dark spot in his loincloth from his own release, making eye contact with his barely ring of amber eyes. He wipes his mouth quickly, eyes darting to your body up and down like a Thanator stalking its prey, “Fuck you tasted even better than I imagined.” He groans out. 

You lean forward to undo his own loincloth, assisting him to get rid of the material him bucking his hips in the process. The cloth falls to the the ground and his still hard cock slaps to his toned stomach with a loud smack. His own juices coating his azure skin, as your eyes bulge out of your head at the sight. He growls once more, placing his hands around your waist. “I am going to fuck you so hard you’ll forget your own name. You belong to me now. Understand?” He squeezes your skin harshly, “Ah, yes So’lek I am all yours!” You whimper out. He smirks deviously, bringing your back against the tree, then spinning you around. A slight tug to your tail is made as he wraps it around his forearm for leverage. The contact alone has your pussy pulsate with anticipation, your back instinctively arches in the air as you press your ass into his cock. “Oh so needy baby. Look at you submitting to me. You’re such a little slut huh?” He slaps your pussy hard, as your back arches even more praying he fucks you soon or you’ll combust. “Tell me!” He shouts. His hips buck into the back of your pussy, his hard cock sliding through the folds of your silky lips. “Tell me what a little slut you are!” 

He grunts. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you cling to the last of your composure. “I’m a little slut! I’m your slut!” You whimper out in desperation. “Good girl.” He huffs. Without any warning, he plunges the tip of his swollen cock straight into your pussy. Your slicked walls welcoming him with ease, as his cock brushes against your cervix. “Fuck!” You scream out in bliss. His pace is brutal, so fast and unrelenting, that it forces you to grip onto the base of the trunk for dear life, arms stretched out straight to keep you from falling down.

Your ears are filled with the sound of slapping skin, his balls violently smacking against your ass as his cock drills into you, squelching into your pussy. Your eyes begin to roll back once more in complete bliss. “Fuck so wet baby! This all for me?” He grips the back of your neck with one hand as his other presses into your belly. The outline of his cock poking through your skin, “Feel that baby, that’s me fucking you balls deep. Gonna get you pregnant.” He whines out. “Oh fuck! Yes! Get me pregnant So’lek please!” You scream out. All rational thoughts of taming this beast fly out the window, as if you’re under the trance of the pollen yourself. He brings the tip of his cock out of your pussy, then slams it as hard as he can into your hips with brute force. “Unf” You whimper out, no longer being able to form a sentence. Your incoherent slurring fill Neteyam’s ears with pure euphoria as he feels his tight balls twitch readying for release. “Gonna fill you right up. Fuck! My little cum dump aren’t you?!” He groans into your ear. You turn your neck to face him, cranking it to the side, as he grips you jaw and goes in for a violent kiss. Your tongues immediately finding one another. “Ugh! So’lek I’m gonna cum!” You whimper out. 

His pace begins to lose rhythm, as he approaches his own climax. The pace so fast it makes your head spin, as your pussy clenches around his length harshly. “Oh fuck princess! You’re so tight, squeezing me so good.” He loses control, feeling your tight walls close in on him as he brings his hand to tug your tail, bringing you as close as possible. Your pussy pulsates around him as you release your orgasm in a crescendo of bliss. “Ah!” You scream out, the blinding white pleasure causes spots to appear in your eyes, with your head thrown back in complete delight. The feeling of your tight walls squeezing his cock causes him to reach his high, as his hot white seed coats your pussy, shoot into your womb. You feel yourself milking him dry, as the last of your high causes you to clench around him once more, your bodies heaving in absolute delight. So’lek brings his forehead to rest on your shoulder as he finally feels the effects of the poison lifting off of him like a stone sitting on his chest. His breathing starts to even out, as he hears yours follow suit. He’s careful to pull out of you as gently as possible, gripping your waist for stability as your weak little whimpers fill his ear with guilt. 

Your slumped form now slowly turns around, to meet his eyes as he tries to avoid contact with you. “Hey, So’lek look at me. Are you alright?” He shyly meets your concerned gaze, shocked that it’s even possible you’re still here standing in front of him on your own two feet after what he’s just done to you. A monster. “I’m fine. Y/n. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.” He says in a hushed tone, with tears beginning to form in his eyes. “So’lek, it’s alright baby. I wanted this. I  don’t want you thinking I didn’t want this.” You softly stroke his cheek as the tears begin to fall, catching them and wiping them away. “What I just did was dishonorable. I- I am so ashamed.” He looks down in horror. “So’lek, the plant’s poison works so that the victim feels the emotions that are already present, just heightening the sexual desire. I felt it as you did. I wanted this. I have wanted you since the day at the watering hole 5 years ago.” You chuckle lightly. He raises his eyes to meet yours, “What? You mean to say.” “Yes So’lek.” You shyly nod. Is it true? The girl of his dreams confessing her love to him, he blinks several times in disbelief. “I had always hoped that I would get your parents blessing to mate with you under the spirit tree and take you as mine, this… this is not what I planned.” He sighs. “Hey look at me, we have time. We have not stained anything. If you still wish to court me, mate me, you have me So’lek. I am forever yours” You smile to him placing his hand your beating heart. He smiles so wide his fangs glisten in the sunlight, causing you to mimic his own. “I could not ask for anyone else y/n, my heart is yours eternally.” 

[restinslices]

Ngl now I wanna read MK1 LKBS reacting to Twilight in headcanon bullet point format 😭

Pretend I put a joke here

Bi-Han

Bi-Han probably hates a lot of things 

Twilight is quickly added to his list 

You know how you can hate a movie, show, book, whatever but have a favorite character? That doesn't happen with Bi-Han

Fuck Bella, fuck Edward, fuck Jacob, fuck EVERYBODY 

The fact that he managed to finish the first movie is a miracle. He for damn sure ain't watching the rest and/or reading the books. You gon have to stab him 

“I'll divorce you if you don't” “I'll get the paperwork for you”

I don't think he'd like any parts of it. There's not a single redeemable thing in that movie 

The type to get mad at Bella and pause the movie to do a lap so he won't destroy the TV 

His main question is “why are y'all doing all this for a girl you hardly know?”

I legit don't think he'd enjoy any parts of it. MAYBE the soundtrack, and that's a big MAYBE 

So many things would bother him. Why is stalking romantic? Why are you risking your family's life for a girl you hardly know? Why is Edward not considered a pedo? How has he not met someone yet? Why is Jacob stuck on her?

There is nothing redeemable about Twilight to him. I think every minute for him is agony 

I don't think any of them like Twilight but I feel like he hates it the most 

In turmoil

Kuai Liang

He doesn't like it either but he tries to be nice and hide it 

He hides it poorly 

A very pained smile whenever you look over at him 

“You like it?” “Yes… 🙂” “Great! Let's watch New Moon!” “There's more?😧”

Does he watch the others? Possibly 

Will he read the books? No

I don't think he'd be fond of any of the main characters either

He’s not a fan of love triangles and he also just doesn’t like the characters

Favorite character? Maybe Angela 

She gets hardly any screentime so she can't do any wrong 

That soundtrack is nice tho-

I don't think he's in as much agony as Bi-Han, but I don't see him liking Twilight 

I'm not even sure he's even into romantic movies 

Do I think he's against romantic movies? No. Do I think it's his favorite genre? No. It could be like, top 5 or something 

This isn't me jumping on the Twilight hate train because I like Twilight in a sense, but I just don't see any of them genuinely enjoying it and being apart of the Team Jacob vs Team Edward debate 

He for sure ain't rewatching the movies 

His niceness is only going so far. At some point he gotta deliver the news to you 

Bella's lullaby is his shit now tho 

Tomas 

Supermassive Black Hole is a nice song 

So… he doesn't entirely hate it 

Like it though? Um… he likes that you like it

Unlike the other two, he'll read the books but he's only reading them because he's like “these movies gotta be popular for a reason. Maybe the books are better”

Does he finish? Probably not 

The love triangle ain't even balanced fr, so he's not really intrigued by that part

I can see him being into the supernatural stuff but I mean, it's not like it's super expounded on 

Is he Team Edward or Team Jacob? Neither 

Bi-Han hates everyone, Kuai Liang doesn't like love triangles, Tomas doesn't like Bella 

Playing both sides when it's convenient for you is something he's not fond of. Pick one and stay on that one 

Who’s his favorite character? He jumps from side characters 

The main characters are probably never his favorite. They're always doing something that makes him raise a brow 

I can possibly see this becoming a series he hates so much, he feels the need to rewatch it 

He spots plot holes and now he can no longer unsee them

He really does try to pick a team if you want him to but it's like “I know who she ends up with so what's the point?”

The point is to be part of the community Tomas 

“I thought you didn't like Twilight” “I need background noise” “...” “I need to feel something” “I get it”

Love hate relationship 

He just like me fr 

[mooncaps]

Watching and Crying

I don’t know how this show can top the impact of everything it’s already done and I’m sure there will be a lot more I wish they could’ve done, but let’s go!

Okay, just straight in, picking up immediately where it left off. Kind of jarring.

Okay, I guess this is the Titan from the in between.

Ooh, the heart. I was wondering if there was something more to be done with that.

Um, what? Is she the Emperor? The Golden Guard? To quote Hooty from last episode: What’s happening?!

That’s different stained glass, right? I feel like they’re trying to tell me something significant, but it’s not clicking.

Thanks, I hate it.

Ominous vibes from Amity. I don’t think I’m ready for this.

I’m definitely not ready for this!

Okay, so it’s everyone’s worst nightmare. I’m catching up.

Eyyy, callbacks. It’s like an inversion of Covention.

Okay, they keep knocking that hat off and putting it back on. I feel like they’re trying to set up something, but I’m not quite sure what.

Let’s go, Amity!

Yes! More of the certified bop that is The Collector’s Theme. ♫ ♪

Okay, more callbacks.

I can dig it.

Well, uh, mad respect for the attempt, little dude, but I will be shocked if that works.

That’s probably not good.

And there goes the hat again. Tell me your secrets, hat!

Now we’re doing callbacks to Agony of a Witch. I see you.

Okay, but like, they’re not actually killing off the main character at the end of a Disney Channel show. I’m sad for the characters presumably thinking it, but I can’t pull myself out of the meta perspective.

Oh, whoa, it’s a Hooty eye. I didn’t even spot that before.

Oh, that is a look!

Yes! This is a callback I was fully expecting and I’m thrilled to see it.

Bookends in finales are one of my favorite tropes.

Yooo! Titan Luz looks sick!

Loving the new remix of the theme. ♪ ♫

Ooh! Okay, that rings a bell.

Y’all know I’ve been thinking about the hat. Ever since Camila picked it up in 3x01 it’s been on my mind. And when I was passing the time between 3x02 and 3x03, I watched reactors do 1x01 and the thought occurred to me that if the writers wanted to do a full circle moment, then maybe they’d throw back to...

And so this isn’t exactly what I was thinking and doesn’t really involve the hat like I thought it would, but I’m noticing the visual similarity.

(Hang on, let me from the next morning grab a better screencap and...)

Bookending with Titans getting their crowns. What they deserve.

Eeeee! These baby gays always give me life.

Awww, Hooty, you’re adorable!

Her.

Oh my heart’s not ready for this.

Of course she chose all of them. Oh, and she’s wearing Amity’s necklace!

Ooh, new door. Finally accomplished what Luz wanted when she tried to find The Collector in the first place.

Ahhhh! There he is carving palismen! I’m so happy for him!

And Dell gets to teach the trade to someone new. Oh, and Hunter’s got a new palisman.

Whoa. Alright, Amity. Get it, queen.

Eyyyy, Harpy Lilith. I was wondering if we’d ever get to see this.

Rainestorm looking fabulous.

Am I sensing chemistry? (And I’m not just talking about abominations.)

This looks neat, but it’s hard to get a good screenshot with the credits going.

Eda, also looking fabulous.

That’s a good shot. Even Boscha showed up. And I’m glad to see Tiny Nose survived the thorny situation she was in when Belos was taking over.

Also...

Same energy.

Oh, I’m just noticing Bat Queen’s kids growing up. Such precious little monsters.

Ooh, a new glyph.

Woop, Youtube shrunk the final image off to the corner. Me from the next morning has to step in again with a better screencap.

And there we have it.

So, yeah, I’ve watched this twice now. Remind me not to stay up til after midnight waiting for an episode of a show in the future. The second time hit way better when I was well-rested. Er, well, rested anyway.

There were definitely some spots where it felt kind of rushed, and I understand why they had to pack as much as they could into a short space of time, but it still leaves me wishing for more. The nightmares alone could’ve been an episode or two if we’d had a full season 3. But I suppose we can’t dwell too much on what could’ve been.

They did a lot with what they had and made something very meaningful and impactful in my life and I’m sure in the lives of many others. There’s also definitely plenty of room for them to expand into comics or spinoffs, should those opportunities ever arise.

I kind of wish The Collector hadn’t left. For one thing, that last screenshot will always be lacking one character that I would want in a full group shot. And I guess it’s implied that they helped build the new portal door at some point, but I would’ve like too see more of The Collector helping out with the rebuilding efforts. And now I’m quite curious about the Archivists and whatever else is going on in the stars. More potential left open for the future, I suppose.

Gotta say I’m surprised they killed Belos. Not that I’m mourning for him, but I was thinking Luz would probably use the last of her Titan power to imprison him between the realms. I figured that would be a fitting punishment, but maybe killing him was more merciful. And dead to rights, he’d already lived way past his natural lifespan by stealing the lives of others. I’m a little bit surprised that he even could be killed, stubbornly as he clung to life. And I would’ve been afraid to touch that goop for fear of getting possessed, but I guess maybe Luz was still exuding enough Titan power to prevent him from doing that. Anyway, I’m rambling on a tangent now.

Definitely quite a ride. I’m sure I’ll always wish there could’ve been more, but I’m equally sure I’ll always love what we got. And we got so much. Even if we never get anything else, I know this show will continue to spark fond memories in me.

[eriexplosion]

Clone Wars - Shadow of Malevolence

Having expended everything I remembered about this three parter in the first part, I'm going into this one not remembering anything whatsoever.

First of all 'diabolical droid commander, General Grievous' I love that the writers simply do not know what this man is. Droid? Not a droid? Who knows, not the people writing this that's for sure!

I love when the clones get the salt and pepper hair... absolute top tier look right there. And one of them even gets a name, Matchstick - taking bets on if he survives the episode because I have a haunting feeling the answer is no.

"The Jedi are never that harsh with their clones." "The care these Jedi show for their troops is a weakness." "A weakness we shall continue to exploit."

Cannot get over that this exchange between Dooku & Grievous is actually about Grievous punching a head directly off a battle droid and getting told off because they're expensive. It's weakness not to decapitate your troops with a single punch, this is why the Jedi will lose. Clearly.

Honestly, I think that there's a strong preference for Grievous in like, the 2D series where he's an incredible badass but I love coughing little freak Grievous. Most character of all time. He has several things wrong with him.

Their target is a medical station with 60,000 injured clones though, fucking. Hands off the boys, Grievous.

One thing I like about this episode is that it really gives us the first bits of the Ahsoka & Anakin sibling dynamic that works so well for me. We got lots of them interacting last episode, but I don't think it has quite the charm of their back and forth over how Anakin TOTALLY doesn't hate Ahsoka's flying he just enjoys her company so she should come with him as the gunner and definitely not fly. Awkward big brother Anakin is my favorite.

UNEXPECTED NALA SE APPEARANCE. I forgot she was here so early. Headcanon possibilities abound with that, is Omega on the station somewhere? What about early pre-deployment batch? Some of the behind the scenes stuff makes it sound like they were only allowed into the field because someone spoke up for them after 99 died, but they're probably still Nala Se's pet project to experiment on. So many options just with her being here.

"Broadside, if we make it through this one, drinks are on me." "I can already taste it."

OH YEAH THEY'RE TOAST. AT LEAST ONE OF THEM. NEVER MAKE PLANS.

I love that Plo Koon knows that this random smuggler's route is the habitat of DANGEROUS POSSIBLY SHIP EATING SPACE MANTA RAYS. Is he particularly knowledgeable in smuggler's routes or does he just know a lot about space marine biology? I hope that he has a book about the Purrgils.

The "It's just smiling at ya!" bit from Anakin. I adore him, god.

Also yep, Matchstick is gone, doomed by making plans for after the mission ;A; don't like that, put him back. (Also lost an unseen clone named Tag, which is the cutest name ever oh my god)

And once again Plo Koon saves the day with clear headed thinking mid-battle. Best Jedi master.

At the end there's another little exchange that caught my attention, this one between Nala Se & Anakin:

Do not take the lives you saved lightly. I don't. But I also can't take the lives I lost lightly.

Once again I am TORN UP by how much Anakin cares about people and wants to do right by them, that even in victory he's thinking about their lives being lost I am In Agony about it. But also, it's interesting to see this Nala Se who seems a little more caring about the clones. She didn't escape immediately and stayed to oversee the evacuation, for one, but also praising Anakin for the lives he saved. She's almost likable and then goes on to do things like drug Fives to lead directly to his death.

I was going to do all three tonight but I'm getting a little sleepy so third one tomorrow. I am going to be turning around the thought of Omega or the batch being on this station with Nala Se ALL NIGHT, I just know it.

[shavynel]

Girl Genius Fave Characters + Hogwarts Houses

Or, "Two characters you thought were in Slytherin, but aren't, and two you thought weren't in Slytherin (but one of whom actually is)"

Since Tarvek's section is Long and I live on AO3 where you know ahead of time who’s getting written up): the faves are {Bang, Tarvek, Violetta, Zoing}. No, there is not a favoriter much less favoritest among them.

Bang: Gryffindor

She's Gryff in that she has one hammer [well, knife] that she applies to all problems. You might think be tempted to think she's Slytherin because she's willing to kill people to get what she wants, but she's not really ends justify the means. She's more stabbing justifies the stabbing. She has one value system, and applies it to everything. Pretty much Gryffindor in a nutshell. You don't conform to my value system? I will make you conform!

Tarvek: Ravenclaw

Tarvek is the hardest to place. The natural inclination is Slytherin. He's our beloved underhanded weasel of ambition. Smells exactly like Slytherin. But there's something a little off. He wants to rule the world, but rather than it being an ends in and of itself, for Tarvek, this appears to be a means.

Ravenclaw, however, fits, and not just from Sparkiness. He studied the socio-political problem, and believes that his solution is the best solution, not just for his own gain. The world can be a better place, not just "better for him," and the way to get there is to rule it all. And I believe he wouldn't necessarily fight for the title if he thought the world was going to be okay (probably in Gil or Agatha's hands. Maybe not Gil).

Let's take a look at the ways we see he isn't just for himself:

He saves Grandma

He saves Colette

He saves Anevka

He saves Lucrezia

He saves Violetta (by sending her to Mechanicsburg)

He drops onto a Fun-Sized Mobile Agony and Death Dispenser

He saves a jager and a Vespiary Squad member from a burning dirigible

He goes up against a Slaver with a wooden sword (and thank goodness Agatha is there)

Okay, so most of these you can argue are still Slytherin. Saving Grandma wins him lots of Family Points, for example. But grabbing Jorgi on top of Ruxala? Recall, his first and primary goal was to save the weasels. (Wait a second... how does he even know to save the little furballs? Bang, a high-ranking Wulfenbach captain didn't know about them until a few hours ago. I guess that's a question for another day.) He's 2 seconds from death the entire time. You could still argue he wants Ruxala for her knowledge, and the jager wins him points with Agatha. But the wooden sword move is exactly the sort of nonsense you expect from Gryffindors.

So Gryffindor!? Motives are a closer match, but the methods are off (which, you'll note, is exactly the opposite problem he has with being a Slytherin). Tarvek's way of dealing with problems is basically everything but straightforward because he knows if he hits a problem head-on, he's going to die. (And maybe this is why his type is too heroic for their own good.) Also, I don't know how you would do a Gryffindor calculation and think, "Yeah, I should save Lucrezia." (You're about to bring up a Wormtail-shaped argument, aren't you? I love me some Peter Pettigrew character analysis so Bring. It. ON!)

Well, Hufflepuffs are do-gooders, too, so why not Hufflepuff? Tarvek does work his butt off, but have you heard him talk about his family? There's a piece to Hufflepuff that believes in the very best of people, and that is very much not Tarvek. Maybe it's that he believes it of everyone but his family. Which is like, anti-Slytherin (arguably therefore Slytherin). Or something.

It's a little unfair that at this point, we only have one house left standing, especially because, surface level, you could easily place every Spark in Ravenclaw, and no one would really say you were wrong. They're all capable of disappearing into their lab, spending hours (if not days) on their chosen project (or whatever happens to pass under their hands), and operate at a level that is untouched by non-Sparks. But just because they're all able to do that, does not mean we should just lump them all in Ravenclaw. (First of all, that'd have to be one sturdy tower.)

For Tarvek, though, it fits. His approach to the socio-political situation doesn't seem to stem from what do I gain from it and how do I end up on top. Instead, he studied and understood the game, thoroughly thought about each and every possibility and the futures they could bring, decided he hated it, that it does no one a benefit, and the only way to get out is to win it, and to do that, he again leaves no means unexamined in crafting his plans. To him, it's chess. And when Agatha walks into the picture, he does a lot of re-calculating. Suddenly the things he had taken for granted as the only way are no longer the only way, and he's willing to adjust his plans to fit the new reality. He’s sort of an experimental Ravenclaw in that way. Come up with the theory, see how it unfolds, and adjust as you go.

The only "outlier" on Ravenclaw is that Tarvek has amazing restraint for a Spark, and doesn't get lost in his passions and interests. But you could also chalk that up to, he's calculated it out, and this really just is the best way. (I mean, well, it is.)

Violetta: Hufflepuff

By far the most straightforward to place. She knows her family is problematic, but then argues that Auntie Margolotta was awfully sweet for not trying very hard to kill her. She spends her first part of Mechanicsburg hating Tarvek for sending her away, but manages to figure out on her own why he sent her. And at the end of the day, she'll save his ass. (It's her job, she says.) And she works insanely hard. Sure, she also complains about it incessantly. (Just let her have cakes and dresses already!)

Zoing: Slytherin

If Tarvek was the hardest to place, Zoing is probably the most surprising. The obvious easy choice here would be another Puff because wholesome, but it just doesn't feel right. No one's going to argue against Zoing being the purest, but Zoing does not think of everyone as equal or even pretend that some people are more equal than others. Zoing's #1 is Gil. He will be loyal forever and always to Gil first. And Zoing has teeeea ambitions. (Who knows what he would've done if Gil said Agatha was there to make tea. And Zoing probably has a running [one-sided] competition with Wooster as to who can be more helpful to Gil.) 

For all his tea ambitions, not everyone gets Zoing!tea. There are people who deserve tea, and people who don't deserve tea. Othar probably isn't ever getting tea (unless Gil explicitly says Othar gets tea). If you dissed Gil or laughed at Zoing's hat, you're probably not getting tea. I'd have words with you for making Zoing spite you, but it'd be possible. 

You might think of loyalty as a Gryffindor trait, but, let's face it, Zoing is not the bravest.

A full Hogwarts

I swear I didn't pick houses or characters so that I could have a full set, but let's not pretend … I am very pleased by this conclusion. Sorting method a little bit derived from @sortinghatchats, but I didn't want understanding their taxonomy to be required reading (it’s fun though!). And shout out to @circumference-pie  without whom this post would have never existed.

[an-eldritch-peredhel]

heyas! i'm your gifter for the tolkien secret santa :) just wondering if you've got any particular things you'd like to see; any favorite eldritch peredhel bits, especial character preferences, any hcs that are near & dear you'd like? (as vague or as broad as you feel like being! i have a few vague ideas cooking so far)

Hello! Sorry it took me a bit to answer this, I've been Sick this whole past week which put a bit of a damper on my holiday spirit lol.

I always use these event asks as a place to ramble and headcanon dump (here's last year's which might be useful? It has a bunch of headcanons on Doriath and Menegroth culture!) so I hope you find something that inspires or intrigues you, but no pressure to use anything! Also I Cannot Remember what specifically I put in my request, so apologies if any of this is repetitive.

I love worldbuilding and character building and generally making places and people feel alive in a very personal way. Good relationships and fluff in contrast to The Agonies Of The Plot are very much my general M.O. lol, and I tend to prefer my angst as hurt/comfort or bittersweet. I love love love the importance of choice and conscious decisions to the nature of Arda and its people. Sweet family domesticity is like crack to me.

One of my favorite parts about eldritch peredhil is taking these fairy-tale people Tolkien gives us and taking them to their logical extreme of magical Beings and Creatures while still being, you know, good, relatable characters. Fae vibes are top tier, always (circling the fairy-tale idea around!!), and some good animal-esque instincts and body language is just *chefs kiss*, whether as something lighthearted and silly (stupidly massive dilating cat eyes and bird courting instincts my beloveds) or more serious and dramatic (being a little possessive, for instance, hunting instincts, also getting Spooky when emotion runs high)

One thing which I have seen done well but is not my cup of tea is darker takes on this in relation to. Well. Relationships. It's important to me (for Beren/Luthien especially) that just because magic is involved it doesn't take away or minimize the choice of either party. Maybe they don't quite know what they're getting into, but it's more in a "Ah. My girlfriend is kinda nocturnal and doesn't always remember that I need sleep" way and not a love spell way, and that any possessive behavior is still healthy and agreed upon. Also related: they might not be perfect parents, but they try their bests and love their kid(s) and let them make their own choices and please Tolkien I need one mostly healthy and happy family in this legendarium let me have this just two-three generations is all I'm asking-

Ahem. Yeah. So I'd prefer something that isn't on the darker side for that lol. As for character preference, I'm happy reading about whoever! I do have a bias to the earlier generations of Melian's line (more concentrated Spooky!), but I love all the peredhil to pieces, I just haven't given them as much detailed thought, and haven't made up my mind on how some stuff is portrayed in my Arda, so go wild with whoever!

Some general headcanons: I love some good fluffy werewolf!Beren as seasoning after the undeath deal, I think he deserves headpats and belly rubs and also being able to full body shake out his wet fur to spray his wife and kid despite their protests <3

Luthien is so much to me honestly. I could go on for pages. She's mostly vegetarian, except for when she hunts down prey she kills with her teeth and eats raw. She's immutably human by her own choice and nature, she's incredibly inhuman via the same. She loves her parents, she hates her parents. She unfailingly adores the People she's chosen. If she'd adopted Turin his early life would have been much weirder but also much better because if anyone can dodge Morgoth's curse it's her. She makes me insane <3

Daeron is the greatest uncle ever and is super weird about everything (affectionate) and is permanently relegated to "Baby Brother" in Luthien's mind and vibes strangely well with Beren. He's little Dior's favorite person in the world because he travels so far east and comes back with awesome stories and taught him how to play instruments and gives him cool presents!

Beren & Luthien: What do you have there?

Dior: A knife! :D

Beren: NO!

(Luthien: We use our fangs and talons in this household sweetie

Beren, again: NO!!!)

Let's see... I've written a lot on Dior and Nimloth in other places, if you're interested in them, but! Because I will make everything end up ok even if it kills me! Dior technically counts as human in soul but by virtue of rules-lawyering and debating The Lord Of The Dead (and also being a thinly veiled trans allegory haha whoops I was oblivious) alongside Nimloth he gets to be reembodied and counted as an elf. E^2 1.0 are deemed too young to Choose but their parents are like "well they aren't getting any older being dead, reembody them with us and then they can make their Choice later" which to Namo's regret and amusement is perfectly valid logic

Speaking of Elured and Elurin. My dear, sweet, small children. My Frankenstein's monsters :)

Everything ends up fine by virtue of my "no permanent unhappy endings if we have them at all" agenda! But my take on their fate is that they end up pretty severely Changed by virtue of Doriath's ambient Maiarin Radiation And Not-Insignificant Sentience, turned into Something that lets That-Which-Used-To-Be-Elured&Elurin survive but as a fun, monstrous, eldritch cryptid! They end up dying probably because Doriath slowly drains of power as the Age moves on and lets them go- or maybe it's because Beleriand drowns, I don't really know, point being they're in Mandos and (mostly) themselves again and can now get therapy and reunions! I have many thoughts on them growing up in ~2nd Age Valinor and freaking the Amanyar out and being very frustrated that Elwing is the big sister now (until they finally get taller than her).

Elwing is all vibes and incoherent thoughts in my head. She's like 7 mental illnesses stacked in a feather-cloak. She deserves to go feral and bite stuff. She schedules mental breakdowns in her daily planner and abides by it to the minute while dressed up for brunch. She likes to scream for little-no particular reason in the same way that someone might idly use a fidget toy. I think she serves as a seagull mob boss and has a bunch of hitbirds to subtly and classily threaten to torment people with.

Elrond and Elros grew up in an apocalypse and came into their own in a post-apocalypse and they are simultaneously super weird and strangely well adjusted because of it. Elros settles into himself earlier, but Elrond fakes normalcy better. Also they have mary sue "everyone except the bad guys likes them" vibes.

So yeah that was my rambling, I'm so excited to see what you write!

[ericspinkhair]

quarantine longings

pairing: best friend!kevin x fem!reader

word count: 3.2k

synopsis: you and your best friend have sex because quarantine made you horny

warnings: best friends to lovers, takes place during the pandemic, spoiler of 356 days (but not the end, just generally the plot), no use of condoms but only the pill, creampie, sexual fantasies, fingering, hand-job, sex, slight angst at the end if you squint

a/n: I would literally die for kevin, I love him so much. I'll be writing a multiple parts series about him after I'm done writing scenarios for every member first.

requests are open!

masterlist + requests

you slammed your foot hard against the wall and cursed in pain. you hopped on one foot to your bed, holding your other leg in agony and tasted blood as you bit your lip to keep the volume of your suffering groans in check. someone knocked on the door.

'are you okay?' your roommate asked concerned.

'no, leave me alone, kevin,' you croaked out. you wanted to suffer by yourself.

there was an awkward silence and then you heard him sigh. soon after, the door next to your room closed shut.

why were you so frustrated, one might ask? well, the pandemic was kicking your butt and you just couldn't take it anymore. when the news of the virus had first spread, no one thought it would become this serious. but suddenly everyone was walking around with masks and spent most of their time staying at home.

after graduating high school, you and kevin had decided to move in together for college because both of you were broke and couldn't afford to live alone. you had been best friends since middle school and had been convinced that it was a smart idea at the time.

and everything went smoothly for the first one and a half years. however, after not seeing anyone else since the start of the pandemic over a year ago, it became increasingly difficult to share an apartment, but not in the way one might assume. you were neither sick of each other nor did you fight a lot. to tell the truth, it was quite the opposite.

earlier, before you had kicked the wall in anger, the two of you had painted together. kevin was majoring in art and, since you didn't have anything better to do, you joined him while he did projects for his classes. you might have been majoring in journalism but you had always liked drawing and painting, even though you weren't particularly skilled. you were a naturally clumsy person, always tripping over air and dropping things. today you were hecticly moving around your hands while telling him about a stupid video you had seen and you accidently let go of the brush in your hand. it hit the side of kevin's face, leaving a wide splodge of red paint on his right cheek.

to get back at you, he jerked his paint brush and splattered some green color on your white shirt. you saw this as a challenge and soon both of you were both drenched in the colors of the rainbow, laughing hysterically on the floor, not caring that you were spreading the paint on the poor carpet.

you turned your heads to look at each other and you felt absolutely in peace. you loved this man and couldn't be more glad that it was him and not anyone else you were stuck with inside of this apartment.

he stood up to take off his stained shirt and your smile quickly faded off your face. your lips slightly parted and you couldn't help but stare at his now exposed biceps and abs.

your mouth watered and you felt heat pooling between your legs as you took your time to study his architecture. thoughts about how badly you wanted him to thrust into you while his strong arms held you up invaded your mind. you tried to shake them off but it was impossible.

occasions like this were slowly becoming a common occurrence for you.

having mostly stayed inside for over a year, also meant that you didn't have sex for that long. it's not like you were the horniest person on the planet but you still had needs that were being neglected. with kevin being home all the time you didn't even dare to masturbate, scared that he would be able to hear you through the frustratingly thin walls. you must have gone insane with all the lust building up inside you and that's why you suddenly craved to have sex with your best friend. this whole thing was destroying everything. it was hard to act normal when he was making you this nervous and heated but you tried to pretend that everything was fine anyway for the sake of your friendship.

that was the reason why you were angry and had hurt yourself. you hated the way you felt about your best friend and you hated the pandemic for not giving you an outlet to escape so you could recollect yourself.

what you weren't aware of was that kevin was no stranger to the exact same frustration.

he would need more than his ten fingers and ten toes to be able to count the amount of times he had to run to the bathroom to hide his boner because he had done so much as look at you bend over or stretch. he didn't want to make you uncomfortable but it was a challenge to try and calm down his hormones.

whenever he jacked off, images of you flashed through his mind; your sweet curves and pink lips drove him insane.

last week, you two were cooking together and you had asked him to get the salt. he stood behind you to reach for it on the highest shelf. he was forced to press his crotch against your butt cheeks and his dick hardened against his will. he quickly handed you the salt, excused himself and ran off before you could figure out what had happened.

he might not have known the cause of your sudden outburst but he sympathized with your fury because he had a lot of pent up anger towards covid as well.

he lay in his bed and tried to focus on the book he was reading but he couldn't tune out the groans coming from the room next to his. he cursed.

'stop it!' he was panicking as he saw a familiar tent forming in his pants. your sounds triggered some weird perverted part of his brain that sent signals right to his genitals. his dick was hardening and he saw no other solution to his problem than to give in to his subconscious desires.

he pulled down his pants just far enough so that his cock had enough room to spring out. it only needed a few strokes before it stood tall and angry. kevin pressed his head into his pillow and moved his hand fast. he wanted to get over with it quickly. he emptied his cum on his stomach while imagining your greedy little mouth being stuffed by his cock. he lay there panting as yet another round of shame flushed over him.

'get yourself together,' he whispered, mentally slapping himself.

***

'do you want to order japanese or italian?' you asked kevin. today was friday which meant it was time for your weekly tradition of ordering take out and watching a movie.

'definitely italian. we've already had japanese for the past four days. I need something else for a change,' kevin complained and shuddered at the thought of having to eat sushi again. the japanese restaurant prepared absolutely delicious food but he just couldn't stand it anymore.

you laughed at his pained facial expression. 'fine, italian it is.'

within twenty minutes the doorbell rang and after about half a minute kevin came back with two huge boxes.

he opened them on the small table situated in front of your couch and the smell of freshly cooked pasta seasoned with basil made your stomach growl.

kevin wanted to dig in already but you stopped him. you had to choose a movie first.

'let's watch tall girl. I saw everyone hate on it on tiktok,' you suggested.

'I think we should watch 365 days, that was all over my for you page as well,' kevin argued. you hadn't heard of it so you weren't sure whether it would be the right movie for you. the rule was that it had to be as bad as possible.

'according to what I have heard, it's apparently even worse than 50 shades of grey,' kevin added which piqued your interest. the both of you had watched 50 shades about two months ago and you were honestly shocked by how awful it actually was. you couldn't understand why everyone had been so obsessed with it when it was first released. if 356 days was really worse, then you'd hit the jackpot. you clapped your hands.

'fine, you win. I swear if the movie isn't as horrible as you say it is then you owe me something!' he intertwined his pinky with yours to promise.

watching horrible movies was way better than watching good ones. making fun of bad storylines, stupid characters or horrible editing was one of your favorite past times.

'I guess I'll have to add are you lost, baby girl to the top 10 worst lines ever spoken. who thought ah yes this is sexy, let's have him repeat it over and over again', you complained, shoving some pasta into your mouth.

'so he's like I won't do anything without your permission while he is literally groping her boobs against her will, like make it make sense, massimo', added kevin, ruffling his hair in frustration. he almost completely forgot about the food.

'so let me get this straight: he drugged her, kidnapped her, tied her up, hung up a painting of her just because he saw her face when his dad was shot?'

'totally relatable.' both of you giggled.

you were enjoying complaining about the plot. it was horrible.

there were plenty of erotic scenes but they were honestly so funny and kinda gross that you could bare it without really being affected by them. kevin, on the other hand, had placed a pillow over his hard-on to hide the embarrassing fact that these terrible, smutty scenes had turned him on.

and then the infamous boat scene came.

massimo and laura had a huge fight, she fell of the boat, he saved her and now she was suddenly so in love with him that she begs him to fuck her. which he does.

you felt your panties become increasingly wet as the couple had steaming hot sex.

'this is embarrassing but I'm so horny,' you admitted but in a way that should have suggested that you meant it as a joke. something about this statement stirred something in kevin.

'well, what can I say?' he replied and lifted the pillow. your pupils widened at the sight of your best friend's bulge.

his eyes darkened and he looked at you with lust clearly written on his face. you reciprocated his stare with the same intensity. you tried to focus on his dark brown orbs instead of his boner but the image you had just seen was present in your mind.

his gaze shifted to your lips and, before you knew it, kevin climbed above you and pressed your back flat onto the couch.

your lips locked and you immediately buried your hands in his hair to pull him closer. you moved in sync, his lips fitting perfectly onto yours. you bucked your hips up against his crotch and earned a moan from kevin. he opened his eyes in shock as realization hit him. he quickly pulled away and jumped off the coach.

'I'm so sorry, y/n. I shouldn't have just done that. I don't know what came over me,' he apologized profusely, staring at his feet. did he really think that you didn't want this?

'give me your hand,' you told him and held out your hand.

'why?' he raised his eyebrows in confusion. you rolled your eyes.

'just do it.'

you took his hand and led it to your crotch.

'what are you- oh my god.' your juices had completely soaked through your panties and your sweatpants. 'you are so wet.'

'for you,' you added. 'there's no need to apologize. I'm literally begging you to continue.'

you didn't have to say that twice before he pulled you closer to him by your hips and engaged you in another desperate kiss. his hands were groping your butt while you let yours slide under his hoodie. you felt his naked skin and toned abs, as you rubbed his stomach. you lowered your hands and bravely palmed his boner through his clothes.

'y/n,' he hissed out against your lips. you hooked your thumbs in the elastic of his pants and underwear, and pushed the material down to his thighs. he struggled to get them off.

you stroked his hard dick as he slipped his hand into your panties to massage your pussy at the same time.

he slipped one finger inside and began working it in and out. you finally were getting the relief you had been desperately craving for for so long. kevin was skilled and your walls were trying to swallow his slim finger. you were quickly coming close to your orgasm after having abstained for more than a year. you pulled his hand out.

'I bet you can make me come even better with your dick,' you challenged kevin.

'you bet I will.' he was confident.

'let me just look for a condom.' he was already turning away to go search in his room but you held him back by the arm.

'forget about it. I'm on the pill and I want you raw. I want you to come inside me and not spill into a stupid condom.'

the idea of this sounded very tempting to kevin. he picked you up and threw you back onto the couch, drawing your hips closer to him so he could pull off all the pieces of clothing that were hindering him from accessing your pussy.

he propped up his arms next to your sides and spread your thighs apart. strings of arousal were hanging from your folds and he saw your hole desperately clench around nothing. his dick hurt from how much he wanted to finally be inside of you. he wanted to find out how close he had been able to imagine how you would feel around him.

your hole took him in easily, welcoming him happily by embracing it tightly. kevin swore he could've cum right here and there.

he went slow at first to give you a chance to adjust but you were already fully ready, rocking your hips forward to meet his thrusts.

he crashed your mouths together and you kissed him like he was oxygen and you were short of air. you smiled and your eyes rolled back, satisfied with how things had played out today and the prospects of coming looked fairly promising.

desperate for release, kevin picked up the pace, his eyes closed while fucking into you like a horny animal. he couldn't help himself and all the 'faster's and 'harder's spilling from your mouth only encouraged him to drive himself deeper into you.

you wrapped your legs around his torso in an attempt to regain the control you were losing.

'fuck fuck fuck,' you cursed, feeling your muscles starting to contract. kevin brushed away some hair that was stuck to your sweaty forehead.

'it's fine, I'm coming too,' he announced and it took only a few more thrusts before a body shaking orgasm flushed over you, making you see only white. this drove kevin over the edge too and he spilled inside you, filling you up with his hot cum. he continued to slowly ease his dick in and out of you, fucking his semen right back into you until you had ridden out both of your orgasms. he let himself fall onto the couch right next to you, panting hard.

'I very much needed this,' you sighed in content.

'same, I wasn't sure whether I could hold out any longer without having a proper orgasm.' he watched his cum drip out of you.

'we should've thought of this sooner,' you said. 'this was a great idea.'

kevin hummed in agreement.

***

so now you and kevin were having sex on a regular basis, your high score being five times in a day. it felt good to finally live out your sexuality and not having to restrict yourself. sure, you guys did it more than necessary but it was a great way to pass time and it felt fucking amazing.

today you had done it in the shower after waking up, then on the kitchen counter and you had just finished having sex in his bed.

he was spooning you from behind, his cock still placed inside of you. he nuzzled his nose into your neck.

'stop, that tickles,' you chuckled.

'sorry.'

after a while of comfortable silence you heard him let out a big sigh.

'what's wrong?' you asked as he pulled out of you. you turned around to be able to look at him.

'I don't think I can do it like this anymore,' he confessed.

'what do you mean?' you asked. 'are you talking about us having sex?'

he nodded. your heart dropped and you started feeling dizzy. you tried to search for answers in his eyes but he avoided looking at you.

'w-why?' you stuttered, trying to hold back the tears that were welling up in your eyes.

'it was amazing at first,' he started and finally raised his head to meet your gaze, 'and I went into it without much thought. I went crazy during quarantine and began fantasizing about having sex with you. then it became reality but now I understand that was probably wrong of me. I've always thought of myself as a gentleman, yet I slept with you without much thought. you see, my issue is this…'

suspense hung in the air and you were impatiently waiting for him to get to the point.

'I like you.'

you quietly gasped in surprise. you had been expecting him to say you were bad at sex and that he regretted everything but not this.

'I shouldn't be sleeping with you unless you were my girlfriend,' he finished off his ramble. you felt immensely relieved.

'do you want me to?' you asked him.

'want you to what?' kevin was confused. he had been a hundred percent sure you'd immediately jump out of the bed in disgust when he confessed.

'be your girlfriend. after all, I like you too, you moron.' you realized that you had known this for a while. you might have even been crushing on your best friend since way before the pandemic struck but it was kind of hard to track your feelings. still, you were sure you liked him too. now that he had admitted his feelings, you were able to admit yours not only to him but to yourself as well.

'wow, I didn't expect this,' kevin confessed surprised. you laughed.

'yeah, we should've realized this sooner.' he pulled you closer and kissed you. it was different than the other times. his lips moved softly against yours, in contrast to all of your rough and passionate kisses you had exchanged these past few weeks. he conveyed his emotions through the kiss.

'you're ready again?' you groaned as you felt kevin's dick harden against your upper thigh. he chuckled.

'sorry, you just turn me on so much.'

so then you did it for the fourth time. that day, you set a new record of having sex six times. you might have been happy now but still just as horny.

[forsworned]

[♥] academyau! sweet like candy {teacher!giyuu tomioka x teacher!reader}

Genre: Fluff, Slight Sensual Themes

Categories: F/M

Relationships: Giyuu Tomioka/Reader

Word count: 1,599

a/n: really wanted to make this into a little series because i’m kind of obsessed with kimetsu academy i think it’s so cute and funny but anyway enjoy!,,, requests are open

➽────────────── ────────────── ──────────── ❥ 

Sometimes being a teacher was hard. You had to make your own lesson plans, grade all the work you assign and make sure your students are well engaged enough to get it and want to ge there. Which they both knew, they really didn’t want to be there. So like any teacher, [Name] would always try to make her lesson plans fun and not give monumental loads of homework assigments and papers. Especially since the biggest class she taught was straight out of Mr. Tomioka’s P.E. class and he absolutely worked them to the bone. 

[Name] sighed as she retired for the day after her last student left for extra help, and headed off to her favorite cafe to continue grading her papers. Not like she made them write a ten page essay or anything, but boy were these terrible. The headache already setting in as dragged herself out of her car and into her favorite coffee/tea shop.

The bell at the top of the door rang, signaling her presence as she made her way in. It was in that moment that she stepped through that her eyes grew double in size at the scene painted in front of her.

Mr.Tomioka sitting alone at one of the booths with possibly the biggest cup of green matcha ice cream, a dollop of whipped cream with the most cutesy sprinkle decorations. He was shamelessly stuffing his face as if it were his last meal. Melted green matcha melted from one corner of his mouth with sprinkles plastered on the other side. [Name] covered her mouth in complete and utter astonishment. She didn’t know whether to laugh, scream or cry.

Giyuu had felt as if someone was spying on him and low and behold, Miss.[Last Name] was peering down at him with the most bewildered expression on her face. 

“Hello, Miss.[Last Name]. Odd seeing you here.” He spoke nonchalantly as he took another bite of his icecream. Giyuu was completely unbothered by her presence, mostly because it was a teacher and not a student who had interrupted his gluttonous guilty pleasure. 

“I-I didn’t know you were such a sweeth tooth, Mr.Tomioka.” She stammered. [Name] really didn’t know how else to react to Giyuu just sitting deadpanned as he gazed up at her. It wasn’t too out of character for him since she had saw him munching on raisin bread on the staircase quite often. She made it a point to avoid him as to not embarrass him. His cerculean eyes bored into hers and it made her an ounce more self conscious. Did she have something on her face? Her teeth? Or worse a stain on her blouse?

“Yes, well, I do find myself coming here from time to time to relax after a long day at work.” His gaze shifted back to his mountain sized pile of icecream and took another large bite. She could’ve sworn he blushed as he did.

“You mind if I join you?” She asked almost timidly. Giyuu was intimidating to say the least. Well to [name] he was. His casual attitude always seemed to throw her off. He hummed in acknowledgement and she smiled as she slid in the booth across from him.

“Oh, I didn’t know you had a lady friend, Giyuu-kun~” A server who seemed to show up out of nowhere sang as she set the spoon down with a napkin. Giyuu froze at his name being said so informally in front of [name] and she was just as shocked to hear it.

He didn’t say anything as the server skipped away. It was so quiet that if a pin dropped you could hear it.

[Name] couldn’t help the laughter that erupted from her lips as she watched as Giyuu sulked in shame. “G-giyuu-kun?”

“Fine, maybe I come here everyday.” He muttered as he took another bite. Now he was miserable, but [name] shook off his embarrassment. She didn’t want to make him feel bad in his comfort zone. 

“No, no. I was only teasing. It’s kind of nice that you come here and give this mom and pop your business.” She picked up her spoon and scooped a small part of the untouched side of his ice cream and hummed in delight when it reached her taste buds. Her tongue grazed across her lips and at the spoon again to lick it clean.

“Damn, that’s really good!” She cheered. Giyuu did not take his eyes off her lips for a single moment. He gulped his icecream too quickly causing him to have brain freeze. He groaned in pain as he held his head. [Name’s] expression quickly faltered into a state of panic as she watched his face contort in agony.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?” The pain subsiding as he waved her off. 

“Yes, I’m fine. Just brainfreeze. Anyways, what are you doing here?”

[Name] sighed as she pulled out the stack of papers from her bag and placed them on the table. 

“Ah, essay season, I see. I saw Mr. Renguko with his stack earlier. He was buzzing right through them. Said they were all awful but he appreciated their ‘blazing’ efforts.” 

[Name] laughed melodiously and it made Giyuu’s ears perk up in delight. 

“That’s Mr. Renguko for ya, huh? Yeah, mine were pret-ty terrible, too. I don’t what’s gotten into them. It’s like every thing I teach goes through one ear and out the other.” Her spoon clinked against the glass again as she depressing grazed at the ice cream. 

“Well, it is almost summer break and you do teach the upperclassmen. They’re probably having a case of senioritis.” 

Giyuu mentally chuckled at thought of her upperclassmen students tripping over thin air when he asked them to run 10 laps around the gym. 

“Are you smiling?” It just slipped out of her mouth. She hadn’t intended to let it, but she honestly couldn’t help it. It was the first time she had ever seen him look--happy and it was undeniably cute.

“I was just thinking of my upperclassmen tripping.” He didn’t bother hiding his smile at this point and it was glorious. [Name] found herself blushing at how heavenly he looked. Giyuu had seemed to caught wind of her staring at him in awe, and cleared his throat.

“Sorry,” [Name] abashedly spoke as she looked away. “I should probably go and get these finished.”

She started to get up to dismiss herself and gathered her papers after shamelessly gawking at him. 

“You don’t have to leave. I could use the company.” Giyuu had worked up almost every nerve to let those words flow out. She was nonplussed at his words.

“Y-you sure?” 

“Yeah, maybe I can help with those papers.”

“I’d like that.”

[Name] smiled as she sat back down and he held out his hand to take the stack of papers from her hands. Giyuu’s face quickly twisted in contempt as he skimmed over the first paper. 

“This is ass.” 

Her eyes dilated at his choice of words and he realized that he let his guard down.

“I mean it is.” [Name] laughed loudly at his brash statement. She didn’t know he was such a clown.

“There’s like zero sentence structure and no punctuation. Also, they’re using run on sentences.” He pointed to the the first few paragraphs. Her eyes twinkled at his sudden sharpness. 

“Oh, you’re right! Thank you, Mr. Tomioka. I didn’t think you’d be so good at catching these mistakes.” Giyuu felt his face fluster at her flattering remark.

“Well, I did say I could help you.”

She gazed up from her student’s work to Giyuu’s ice cream coated lips. It didn’t make him any less dreamy to her because all she wanted to do in that moment was use her finger to lap up the remains and swirl her tongue around her finger. And for once [name] let her intrusive thoughts win. She murmured in delight. It tasted even sweeter coming from his lips. The look of disbelief on his face as the heat rushed to his face. 

“You’re sweeter than candy, Mr.Tomioka.”

[Name’s] face faltered along side Giyuu’s at the realization that she wasn’t living in her head, but that she had in fact, really done it. Giyuu wiped his mouth with the stack of napkins besides him, wondering how and why he deserved something so delightfully embarassing. 

“I’m so sorry--I”

“You should be.” He put his napkin down. “You could’ve told me that I had ice cream on my face.”

[Name] didn’t know whether she should have felt humiliated or not at that point. Did he just completely miss the part where she just indirectly licked ice cream off his face or...?

“So, back to the papers.”

“Ah, y-yeah. The papers!” [Name] scrambled for a moment handing him a small stack. “You work on these to start out and I’ll get started on these.”

Giyuu tried his best to dismiss the trembling from his hand as he took small heap from her hands. His heart beating out of his chest as he kept his cool demeanor from slipping. 

“We should do this more often.” He said it without thinking (head empty head ahhh).

[Name] visibly relaxed when those words left his mouth. She didn’t expect him to even help her, but now he was practically asking her to hang out with him more. She flashed him a big smile that made his heart skip a beat.

“That would be a big help, Mr. Tomioka. Thank you.”

He looked down to hide his agitated state.

“Don’t mention it.”

[solarwonux]

36. “I’m not naming our child after a book character, let alone from my least favorite book.” “Why not?”

37. “I think you’ve had enough to drink today.”

husband!joshua x f!reader

genre: fluff and a little bit of angst 

w.c: 2.1k

warnings: alcohol, drinking, hints at infertility, mentions of a surrogate, self doubt, hints at depression, mentions of therapy, brief mention of poly!gyuchan,  IVF treatment, suggestive, a cat named dog and a dog named cat, reader isn’t a fan of Shakespeare.

notes: this one’s a heavy one, but I wanted to challenge myself with this one. I did do some brief research as I was writing this one but I still could’ve gotten something wrong, so if I did let me. Either way, I’m grateful for those who read and please please please let me know your thoughts. Enjoy.xx

MASTERLIST || PROMPTS

Joshua threw his head back downing the shot of soju. His face twisted in displeasure, hissing at the bitter taste. He sets the glass down wiping his plump lips with the back of his hand before pointing a finger at you. 

“What about Elizabeth, like Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice?” Joshua asks, grabbing the green bottle of soju and pouring himself another shot. 

You cross your arms in front of your body and lean back against the dark navy booth. “Nope, try again.” 

Joshua let’s out a sound of annoyance before downing another shot. He doesn’t let the acrimonious taste settle in on his taste buds before he’s pouring himself another one and downing it. The two of you knew it was going to be a long night. Time was ticking, your surrogates due date was approaching and neither of you had picked out a name for your daughter. 

Truthfully, her name should’ve been chosen months ago. At least that’s what you and Joshua had planned during the first trimester of the pregnancy. But every time the topic came up, the two of you would end up frustrated and running back to the drawing board. You had names picked out, so did he. Neither one felt right. It also didn’t help that throughout the eight and a half months of the pregnancy a sense of guilt would wedge its way into your veins.

According to the many doctor’s you and Joshua consulted throughout the first year of your marriage. Your body wouldn’t be able to carry a child until full term. It had impacted you negatively. Your mental health was never up to par twenty four seven, but during that year - the year that was supposed to be filled with happy memories with your newly wedded husband; your mental health was at its worse. Memories that were supposed to be happy and colorful were black and white. You spent every waking moment dreaming about your child and feeling like a failure all at the same time. 

Joshua would hold you every time you cried out in agony. Each sob that came out of your lips would find its way and break his heart even further. He felt worthless not knowing what to do as he sat and watched the light get sucked out of you. He was hurting too, there wasn’t a doubt left in his head that he somehow shared your pain. But he couldn’t begin to imagine what it felt like to be told over and over again that your body will never be able to carry a child. So he held you and prayed for a miracle every night. He loved you more than anything in the world and although he found himself frustrated whenever you treated yourself like you were worthless or nothing. He made a promise to you in front of your family and his that through sickness and in health he will be by your side no matter what. 

The miracle came after four years. On New Year’s Eve of that first miserable year of marriage you told him you wanted to go to therapy, but only if he went too. He gladly agreed, eyes blown up in uncertainty but he didn’t fight you on your decision. Immediately he started researching for the best therapists in town, forgetting about the holiday party at Jun’s house. 

Slowly he saw you come back to yourself. The first time you smiled at him and laughed he cried tears of joy along with you. After almost two years of individual therapy with the newly added weekly couple therapy session, the two of you decided to research alternatives. Joshua was apprehensive, he feared he would lose you again, reassuring you that the two of you didn’t have to have kids in order to be a complete family. 

That just the two of you, your cat Inu and your dog Neko was enough. In which you agreed but one of your dreams was to bring a child into the world, to be a mother and you refused to have that taken away from you. So, he agreed after many weeks of convincing and a glittery powerpoint presentation. 

Mingyu, Chan and their wife didn’t want kids, frankly it wasn’t for them. But she didn’t hesitate to offer herself as a surrogate when she learned that you and Joshua were looking for one. It took another glittery powerpoint presentation from all three of them, this time to convince you to let them help you. So you did. Eight and a half months ago through an IVF treatment, one of your eggs and Joshua’s sperm were inside of her, healthily growing your child. Each doctor’s appointment you went to, the excitement inside of you grew. 

You stayed up with Joshua talking about how grateful you were that your baby girl was so loved and she hadn’t even taken her first breath yet. Mingyu and Chan showered her with gifts endlessly. A competition between the two of them to determine who would end up being her godfather. Not to mention her other ten uncle’s competing to see who would win the title of best uncle in the whole wide world. A contest that was to be held annually. Or so they claimed.

You were happy and so was Joshua but the only problem the two of you faced was that you didn’t have a name yet. And it stressed out Joshua to the point of no return, especially after you told him that it would be better to just wait until she was physically in the world. That her name would come to you, appearing out of thin air the moment you saw her for the first time. 

Joshua on the other hand disagreed. He lived paranoid ninety nine percent of the time and liked to be ready just in case something went wrong. He also didn’t want his daughter to be nameless and bean sprout wasn’t cutting it anymore. “Okay how about Ophelia, like from Hamlet.” He says with a hopeful dewey look in his eyes. 

You grab the bottle of soju and pour yourself a shot, downing it before slamming it down on top of the dark wooden table. “Absolutely not, I refuse. I’m not naming our child after a book character, let alone my least favorite book.”

Joshua ran a stressed hand across his face. He wanted this nightmare to end. No both of you wanted this nightmare to end. “It’s not a book, it's a play baby, you out of all people should know that.” He accused, grabbing an unopened bottle of soju and cracking the seal. “Mrs. Literature major.”

“Does it come with a front cover and a back cover and a bunch of pages in between?” You challenge cocking your head to the side, pushing your shot glass towards him. 

Joshua poured you a glass before setting the bottle down and placing his chin in the palm of his hands. A cocky drunk grin evident on his face. “Yes, but it started out as a performance not a book.” He mocks.

“I disagree. Shakespeare had to have written it down first in order to then show the actors. Therefore it’s still considered a book and my statement still stands. I’m not naming our child Ophelia.” You roll your eyes bringing the glass up to your lips, taking a small sip from it. You were finally starting to feel the weight of the alcohol. It was a given the two of you were five soju bottles (almost six) in and still hadn’t made any progress. 

“Why not?” He whines kicking his feet in the process, resembling a little kid who just got told that he couldn’t have cookies ‘n’ creme ice cream for dinner. “I like Ophelia, I think it’s cute.” 

“Because Ophelia drowns in the play, what if by naming our daughter that, we are instilling her an unfortunate faith?” You explain, drawing it out dramatically with your hands. 

“That’s ridiculous. Our daughter is protected not only by her guardian angels but also she has a whole football team on standby ready to beat the shit out of anyone that makes her cry.” Joshua states in a matter of fact tone while closing the half finished bottle of soju. He was finally starting to feel the effects and the two of you still needed to pay the bill and somehow make it home. 

You huff dipping your index finger into the half full shot glass and wetting the rim. “I read about it once.” You whisper. 

“Where?” He stands up holding onto the table and makes his way to your side, sitting down. “On those mommy blogs? The one’s I told you to stop reading because they don’t make you feel good about anything?”  His arm makes it away across your shoulders and pulls you close. 

You nod, leaning your head against his chest. “I’m just scared and I want everything to be perfect. I know that there’s nothing wrong with the decision we made but sometimes I still feel guilty that I wasn’t the one to carry her.” You sigh, lacing your fingers with his. “What if she doesn’t love me?” You cringe at how small your voice sounds. This is something your therapist and you had been working on for the past three weeks. Ever since you realized that the due date was approaching quickly. You’d gotten far but the doubt still lingered no matter how much you tried to push it away. 

Joshua leaves a gentle kiss against the crown of your head. “You’re her mom through and through and she’ll love you no matter what. Your body couldn’t grow her, the risk was too high and I didn’t want anything to happen to you or to her. But that doesn’t mean you were not enough. You have always been enough and you will be the best mom she could ever ask for.” 

Years ago when you had first met Joshua you knew you didn’t deserve him. He was everything you could ever ask for and more. Every time you found yourself drowning he was there with his hand plunged into the water ready to raise you up. He was your pillar whenever you needed someone or something to lean on. He was your voice of reason and your biggest supporter. And it wasn’t fair, because you would never be able to be that person to him. 

“I love you Joshua, thank you for never giving up on me.” You sit up, closing the small gap between the two of you and leaving a soft, delicate, alcohol filled kiss against his perfect lips. 

“I would never in a million think of doing that. Baby I swear I would cut off each of my limbs and feed them to birds if that thought were to ever cross my mind.” He smiles, pecking your lips repeatedly making you giggle. The sound made his heart soar. “I know you won’t believe me but you taught me what it’s like to love someone endlessly and unconditionally and that’s something I will spend my life thanking you for.” He says, thumbs caressing your cheeks before he hugs you close. 

“Stop making it impossible not to love you.” You laugh, circling your arms around his waist, burying your head into his chest. “I like Ophelia too, I’ll put it on the ‘maybe’ list.” His arms get tighter around, making it almost impossible for you to breathe. He wasn’t voicing his happiness, but you could only imagine the dumb smile he had on his face. 

After all, it was rare for you to admit defeat.

The two of you stayed there for a few more seconds before he brought his face down, stopping just above your ear. “Want to go to the bathroom and fuck,  live out our young adults fantasies once more before we become parents?” 

You pull away an incredulous look decorating your face. “Yup, I think you’ve had enough to drink. Let’s go home.” You stand up, grabbing your purse, pulling on his arm earning a wine from your husband. 

“Come on just once, please baby please.” He pleads and stands up, following you as you make your way to the front of the bar where the cash register usually was. 

“Absolutely not, I don’t want to be arrested for Adultery. We are about to become parents Joshua Hong!” 

He shrugs, circling his arm around your waist watching silently as you wait to pay. “It was worth a shot, what about when we get home?” He whispers into your ear leaving a teasing kiss against your chin. 

“We’ll see. Now behave.” 

“As you wish my lovely wife.”

[thetypedwriter]

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review

All the Young Dudes Fanfiction Review by MsKingBean89

So. 

This is a first. 

If you’ve been following this blog for some time, then you know I generally read young adult books and write far too lengthy reviews on them with the occasional outlier of adult fiction, mystery, sci-fi, etc. 

At any given time, I usually have both a physical book that I’ve bought from somewhere that I’m working on (right now it’s Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley) as well as a fanfiction that I reserve until before I go to bed (my treat for a day well lived). 

Fanfiction is something that I’ve mentioned copious amounts of times on this blog in varying degrees, but this is the first time I’ll be writing an actual review for one of them on this platform. 

The reason for this is myriad. 

One, this fanfiction called All the Young Dudes is a far-cry from your normal standardized fanfiction of 5-50,000 words-something I can easily consume in a few minutes to a few hours. 

Nope, this behemoth ends on a staggering 526,969 words and 188 chapters, not including bonus chapters and extra in-universe canonical content the author has also written and published. Roughly speaking, if this was actually published onto paper it would be well over 2,000 pages. 

2,000 pages. 

Yeah. And I enjoyed every single moment of it. 

Two, while I read a lot of fanfiction I generally don’t put any of it on this blog because while I’ve dedicated it to published novels, I also usually have very simple feelings about fanfiction. My thoughts run the gambit of: It was good, it was fluffy, it was a train-wreck, so on and so forth. 

Normally my reviews are so long and wordy because I have too many thoughts about the published books that I read and I need an outlet to let them loose. 

Whether because of its longevity or because of its content, All the Young Dudes is a story I find myself having a profusion of thoughts for. Hence, the birth of this review. 

If fanfiction isn’t your thing, feel free to skip this particular review of mine (although fanfiction is a gift to this world and you should really rethink your stance on it if you don’t like it, just saying). 

Third, All the Young Dudes is well written and rivals any actual published content. 

Fourth, because of how extensive this fanfiction is, it took me over a month to read it-time I generally would have been reading something else. Instead of leaving you all hanging for a few more weeks until I finish Firekeeper's Daughter (don’t hold your breath-the book is sort of a slog for me personally right now), I decided to just take the jump and write my first-ever typedwriter review for a fanfiction. 

Fanfiction has been a part of my life for the better part of almost two decades now. It was truly something I found by accident and in retrospect, it’s insane to me that it’s still something that brings me continuous joy and happiness. 

I discovered fanfiction when I was 11-years-old and deeply obsessed with the Harry Potter fandom. 

Now, as an overall disclaimer I completely disagree with J.K. Rowling’s stances of gender and biology and differ wholeheartedly with her views of trans and non-binary individuals. With that said, I still love Harry Potter as a story and while I no longer buy anything that profits J.K. Rowling directly, I still love the fandom and the people in it, including fanworks like All the Young Dudes. 

When I was 11, the seventh Harry Potter book had yet to come out and like many other people in this time period of agony while waiting for 2007 to roll around so that I could find out what happened, I discovered fanfiction as a way to fill in that ache I was so keenly feeling. 

I found myself suddenly immersed in this world of online fiction-both good and bad-but completely entrancing all the same. 

I never left. 

That is to say, I did eventually move onto other fandoms with their own fanfiction cultures, but Harry Potter was still my first in terms of fanfiction and introducing me to the concept as a whole. 

Specifically and maybe oddly, I never found myself curious for actual fanfiction about Harry or Hermione or Ron. In my mind, I already knew what had happened to them and reading about them in fanfiction was redundant. 

In addition, the first fanfiction I just happened to come across was a Lily/James marauder era fanfiction on mugglenet.com

This idea immediately intrigued me as fans as a whole knew next to nothing about the infamous Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs and while I knew everything I needed to about Harry Potter it was intoxicating to think that I could learn about a time before the series had existed and about characters who were important, but off screen. 

I was hooked and devoured as much as I could for most of middle school about the marauders and Lily and James’ romance in particular (I even wrote and published some of my own that will go unmentioned as they are truly really terrible). 

That being said, I haven’t read a Harry Potter fanfiction in years. I grew up and out of the fandom eventually thanks to Twilight and from there I’ve bounced from fandom to fandom as I’ve aged and consumed different things and fallen in love with different characters and different worlds. 

That isn’t to say I’ve forgotten though. 

I still remember my favorite marauder stories, my favorite Sirius Black/OFC (original female character), and my favorite baby Harry drabbles. They made such a huge impression on me and even though it’s been sixteen years, I still recall those stories with fond nostalgia and jubilation. 

Which is why it’s almost ironic that I would return to this particular time period of the marauders with All the Young Dudes. 

In a fashion that’s almost scarily full circle, I happened to be on Youtube one day and saw a recommendation video about this girl reviewing a fanfiction called All the Young Dudes. Now, youtube book reviews aren’t uncommon, but a thirty minute video for a fanfiction? Not your typical sighting. 

So out of pure curiosity, I searched All the Young Dudes fanfiction on Google and low and behold the overwhelming and top results were all for a marauder-era fanfiction by MsKingBean89. Piqued, I clicked on the link in ao3 and thought why not? 

While I’ve mainly been reading in other fandoms recently (BTS, some anime and manga, All for the Game) I had been in a little bit of a slump for finding a really good, really alluring story for some time and really didn’t think I had anything to lose by reading All the Young Dudes, especially as the more research I did, the more I found how popular it was-a plethora of videos on youtube, tiktok compilations, and dozens of fanart posts. 

Plus, it had been so long since I had read anything from my progenitor fandom and the thought of going back was strangely comforting.

Hence the journey of reading All the Young Dudes began and oh what a journey it was. 

Now, that this review is already five pages in, I should probably tell you what on earth All the Young Dudes is actually about. 

The whole story is a marauder-era fanfiction told from Remus Lupin’s POV from the summer of 1971 when Remus is 11-years-old to the summer of 1995 when he is 35-five-years-old. It is an in-depth portrayal of Remus’ time at Hogwarts from year one to year seven and then going all the way up to the start of the second wizarding world, ending around the time Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix begins. 

While already the scope makes this a massive undertaking, the author also includes all canonical content from the original series involving Remus, the Marauders, and the time period and incorporates it into her fanfiction-making it canon compliant from start to finish. 

While a very large portion of this story is not romantic, there is eventual WolfStar (Remus Lupin/Sirius Black) and if you have read the original Harry Potter series...well. You know things don't end up super dandy for these two characters in particular so you know how the story will end before it begins. 

This fanfiction left me speechless for so many reasons. 

The scope and length is frankly unbelievable. This fanfiction was published on March 2, 2017 and it was completed on November 12, 2018.

….how?

How did she manage that? I frankly have no idea, but I am in complete and utter awe at her ability to write content with such a magnitude and actually complete it. She gets an award just for that honestly. 

Not only that, but the fanfiction is actually superbly well-written. I won’t lie and say it’s the most poignant and beautiful piece of literature I’ve ever consumed, but it was consistent in its pacing, characterization, themes, motifs, and structure, which, for 2,000 pages, is an incredible achievement when you think about it. 

Speaking of characterization, everyone was So. Well. Done. 

Remus was such an interesting POV to read from and while he was compliant in every sense of the word-werewolf, prefect, bookish-MsKingBean89 added so much more to his character and fleshed him out so incredibly that it’s truly tragic that he’s not a real person. 

And to that extent, she does this with all of the characters. You see James’ optimism and leadership, Sirius’ arrogance and loyalty, Peter’s jealousy and chess skills. 

Every character was so well-rounded and real. She did an incredible job of taking the bits and pieces from the canon series and using that to build up her own flesh and blood people with motivations, likes, dislikes, dreams, and desires. 

That being said, she also had 2,000 pages to do it sooooooo it would be bad if the characters weren’t fleshed out by the end honestly. 

In addition, I really appreciated that she didn’t just focus on Remus, Sirius, James and Peter. Lily Evans played a critical role in Remus’ school life and after and so did the other Gryffindor girls like Marlene and Mary. 

Too often, the focus is on the boys and their close friendship and while that was a huge focus, we also get to see Remus develop friendships with the girls in his own right and other friends as well that were often OC’s of the author’s. 

Now. OC’s are generally something I dislike. I’m reading fanfiction to read about particular characters that I’ve sought after, not to read about some imaginary cast. However, just like any of the canon characters, all of the OC characters were well-developed and played crucial roles in Remus’ development-while either at Hogwarts or after-and I found myself not minding them in the least. In a few cases (Grant) I actually really loved them. 

The biggest draw for this fanfiction for me was Remus’ time at Hogwarts. It was so well-written and incredibly descriptive and I found myself thrust back into the world of magic so suddenly and seamlessly that it was like I never left. 

MsKingBean89 includes so many intricate details and builds up the world so beautifully that I’d recommend any Harry Potter fan to consume it, just to get some good Hogwarts material out of it. 

Another thing I greatly appreciate about this fanfiction was the slow burn. I’ve read slow burn before (All for the Game trilogy anybody?), but this truly took the cake. Sirius and Remus don’t properly get together until the end of year six going into year seven. That’s over 100 chapters in. 

100 chapters out of 188. 

Meaning that over half of this beast doesn’t have the main pairing even together. For some people, this could be a drawback. You might think to yourself: It takes how long for them to confess their feelings and stop being prats?

A very, very long time. 

However...it didn’t bug me. I like slow burn to begin with, but being along for the ride as Remus goes from being a child to an adolescent with unrequited feelings to being in a relationship with someone he loves is so rewarding and fulfilling that the 100 previous chapters are completely and utterly worth it. 

MsKingBean89 develops them so well and so carefully that the payoff is so sweet and satisfactory that it's enough to bring the tears right then and there. 

The last huge feat of this fanfiction for me was the author’s dedication to canon not just confined to Hogwarts and the Harry Potter books, but also to the time period. Either she lived through the 70’s and 80’s herself or she had done her due diligence when it comes to research because anything from London anti-gay laws to British slang was commonplace in her fic. 

I found it completely amazing how she was able to tie in real-time historical and cultural moments like famous singers and movies playing at the time alongside convoluted muggle politics warring with the wizarding ones. 

I was so blown away by the accuracy and genuine love behind this fic that it often brought me out of my own mind to simply ponder once again how much work this was and how well she was delivering it. 

Even unpleasant things, like homophobia and bigotry, are dealt with in a very carefully constructed way that is aligned with the time period in which the story takes place. 

Unfortunately, everything beautiful is not without flaws and All the Young Dudes is not the exception, although it’s flaws are nary compared to its achievements. 

The few complaints I have with this fic are honestly quite negligible. 

First, there are a few grammatical and punctuation errors. Very few, but I did notice some. 

Next, and again, this complaint is really just me whining, but...the end of the fic was really fucking sad. The end of this whole story took me so much time to complete simply because I didn’t want to read it. 

I know what happened during the first wizarding war and I also know what ended it (James and Lily Potter dying, Harry being shipped off to the Dursley’s, Sirius imprisoned for a murder he didn’t commit, Peter presumed dead) and in one fell swoop Remus lost everything and everyone he ever loved. 

After spending over 1,500 pages of Remus growing to love these people it is absolutely devastating and heart-breaking to see him lose it all. 

The last handful of chapters are just really, really sad and it makes me wonder why MsKingBean89 decided to write it in the first place. Frankly, I don't know why she didn't write about Remus’ time at Hogwarts and stop after graduation because we all know what happens after that and none of it is good. 

Looking back, I wish I could time travel and tell myself to stop at chapter 150. I truly didn’t need to read about the tragedies that happened after that and the hell that all of the characters go through. 

And while it does end on a….sort of kind of maybe positive (?) note with Sirius and Remus reuniting briefly once the events of Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban take place, it was really tainted and bittersweet for me knowing that in a year Sirius would die and Remus would marry his fucking cousin and have a child. 

Urgh. 

I just can’t. 

That being said, I understand it’s not the author’s fault and I’m not saying it is. She wrote a canon compliant fic to the end and it was my choice to continue reading. That being said, she said she ended it before the events of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix because Sirius and Remus are happy and back together and she didn’t want to write what was coming next if she continued. 

I truly, truly get that. 

But in the same vein, why even write the events of the first wizarding world to begin with then? I’m confused with that response as it doesn’t make much sense to me. I felt like ending it right then and there was not a happy ending. They’re together, yes, but at this point they are both shells of who they used to be. Both have severe trauma and PTSD and frankly I don’t even know if I agree with them being together just because they’ve put each other through so much. 

It’s just an interesting choice at the end of the day in terms of the author. 

Once again, however, I truly understand that she can do whatever she wants and that she doesn’t owe anyone anything, especially as she’s writing this for free and just because. So please keep in mind that although I’m complaining, I truly understand how fortunate we are to even have this fic in the first place. 

Okay. 

Secondly, my only other huge complaint is that MsKingBean89 made Remus gay. Not bi, not pan. Gay. 

You could argue that Remus just calls himself gay in the fanficiton as he didn’t know about other kinds of sexuality. You could argue that Remus’ sexuality changes and develops as he ages and experiences trials and tribulations. You could argue that it was a sign of times like so much else in this fic. 

I frankly just found it to be a frustrating choice as the fic is canon compliant and even though it ends before the events of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows we know that Remus eventually marries Tonks and has a baby son named Teddy Lupin. 

How does that make sense?

I tried very, very hard to come up with some sort of feasible explanation for how a gay man would have ended up with the love of his life’s female cousin and truly could not think of one that was not fucked up to some degree. 

Again. I know I’m being nit-picky, but it irked me that she made this choice regarding Remus’ sexuality and essentially ended her fic with Remus stuck in a corner regarding how the series actually ends. 

At the end of the day, all of the negatives are truly, truly not important. I’m just whinging to whine and to express my thoughts, but I do once again understand that MsKingBean89 isn’t profiting from this fic and that she can do what she wants as is her prerogative. 

I hope I was able to express that while I understand that, I can still be frustrated with some of the choices she made. 

To wrap this all up, All the Young Dudes is a masterpiece and is a must-read for anyone who loves Harry Potter, the Marauders, or Wolfstar. I was blown away by the sheer magnitude, the love and care she put into her craft, the slow and deliberate development of all the characters, the beautifully constructed love between Sirius and Remus, and the intricate world-both muggle and magic-that surrounded the story like a cocoon. 

I am so happy I found this fic and I truthfully am floundering at what to do with myself next. If you have any more current Marauder era fics that I’ve missed out in the past eleven years, please don’t hesitate to let me know. 

Recommendation: Go read All the Young Dudes. For weeks, you will cry, you will laugh, you will despair, and you will smile. This fanfiction will make you wish this was canon and in my mind, it now is. 

Score: 8/10

Links:

1. All the Young Dudes on ao3 

2. The Youtube Video about All the Young Dudes that made me aware of its existence 

[aggressive-positivity-network]

Your demo in a relationship headcanons were simply aaaaaaahhhh!*chef kiss* could we maybe have some for everyone's favorite aussie stringbean?

I absolutely love Sniper...he’s one of those characters I can just fall back on. I also just like Australian accents, especially when he speaks in a low, intimidating voice. Gets me every time. Makes me either blush or happy stim whenever I hear it.

First Date:

You find Sniper on a dating app after a particularly bad break-up.

His profile picture is of him shirtless, holding a huge gun next to him. However, instead of looking sexily into the camera, he’s looking off camera with a bewildered look on his face.

His bio says, “My friends put me up to this. Don’t expect too much. If you go on one date with me maybe they’ll shut up. Who bloody knows?”

You get curious, and you decide to start a chat with him.

“Your friends put you up to this huh? 😏”

“yeah. what of it?”

“What, are you some lonely wolf type or what?”

“you could say that.”

He was texting back almost immediately. Even if he wasn’t a lovey-dovey person, he was certainly interested.

“How would you like to get those friends off your back?”

“i’m free wednesday.”

You make plans, which, despite only seeing this as a one-night stand, you gradually get more and more excited for.

You meet Sniper at a nicer restaurant, wearing a new black dress that you hadn’t worn yet.

When you finally see him at the lobby, you realize that the picture didn’t do him justice, even thought he now had a beige suit on.

His lankiness showed a bit more, but his arms were very strong despite his frame. He was wearing sunglasses, which added an air of cool refinement.

At first you thought he was British because of his texts, but when he spoke, you knew right away he was Australian. You are far from disappointed.

You are still waiting for your table when all of a sudden, Sniper takes out a huge knife. Before you can react, he quickly slices something out of your vision and then brings it before your eyes. You had forgotten to take the tag off your dress.

“I’m flattered. I didn’t think you’d get all shinied up for me.”

You breathe out shakily and rub your neck. Sniper’s eyes furrow.

“I didn’ nick ya, did I?”

“N-no...just s-scared me...”

You thought maybe you had met up with a psycho, and all your suspicions were not put to rest yet, but the close encounter seemed to awaken something in you.

The date continues as normal. Both of you are pretty awkward at first, especially since the knife incident. But before the main meal is brought to your table, you’ve started up a conversation.

Sniper told you he was in the military, but his base is very lax with dress code and schedule.

You start telling him about your job as a graphic designer when all of a sudden a scream interrupts you mid-sentence.

There’s a guy holding a gun about eight tables from you, pointing it at the many patrons. He doesn’t seem drunk, but just enraged.

“WHAT’S A GUY GOTTA DO TO GET SOME DAMN FRIES?!”

The manager tries to talk to him, but ends up getting shot, most likely dead.

The yelling continues for about fifteen minutes. You are very uncomfortable, not to mention terrified, but Sniper seems oddly nonchalant.

Suddenly, Sniper yells, “OI! THEY’RE BRINGIN’ OUT YOUR FRIES! RIGHT THERE, MATE!”

The guy follows Sniper’s finger, and all of a sudden there’s a gunshot. But it wasn’t from the madman’s gun...it was from Sniper’s.

The guy falls over on top of the bleeding manager, writhing in agony.

Before you can even process what’s happening, Sniper grabs you by the arm and drags you out of the restaurant.

“Dishes it out but can’t take it, eh luv? C’mon, we’ll go to my place. It’s real nice.”

You get into his van, which smells like a mixture of old leather, beef jerky, and...something else. However, your terror quickly trumps your logic.

“First Time”:

Despite your fiasco of a first date, you still decide to stay at Sniper’s until it’s all blown over.

His apartment is covered wall to wall with guns, memorabilia, and sticky notes, usually with names and dates written on them.

On the far wall was a cork board filled to the brim with pictures, yarn, and Xs made in thick red Sharpie.

“If I woulda known it would go this far, I woulda tidied up the place. Sorry about that, luv.”

You brush it off, and you both sit on an old leather couch with bits of stuffing sticking out of it.

You take this as a cue to get around to what this whole date had been about: some sweet, sweet rebound. It seems awkward now that you had gone through so much - besides, you hadn’t expected to connect with Sniper the way you have...

But you still manage to spit it out.

“Er...yeah. That’s what people usually do, right? Yeah? I dunno. I’ve been off the playin’ field awhile.”

Sniper puts his hands around your neck and let’s you begin to kiss him. But it was clear after a while he wasn’t into it, so you pull away and ask if he wanted to wait another time.

“Aw, no, shiela. Look at me, lyin’ ‘ere like a dead fish...I just...I’ll try ‘arder, luv, I promise.”

You pull away completely. This had trauma written all over it, and you weren’t about to force someone into it...you were better than your ex.

“Did I do somethin’ wrong?”

You asked him what was wrong, and why he was being so passive about what was happening to him. Why didn’t he say anything? Do anything?

Sniper sighed, pulling his hat way down in front of his face.

“I like girls, don’t get me wrong. It isn’t that. But I never felt...that way about ‘em. Or anybody else, honestly. I tried it once in college...I just ended up feelin’ sick. Tried it with another girl, then another, then another. I even tried with my guy roommate. But I always ended up feelin’ like I was gonna puke. Sometimes I did. It just never felt right. It wasn’t magical, it was bloody disgusting.”

“But every girl I’ve ever been with expected it, and to keep ‘em, I ‘ad to do what they wanted. Sometimes I’d just lie there, tryin’ not to vomit, trying to at least move a little, act like I was into it. They said they’d change my mind, that this time would be different. At the end of the day, it never was, and I lost ‘em. And now I’m gonna lose you too, ‘n I’m gonna halfta tell the guys...they’ll never let this go...”

Back At The Base... :

Spy called the entire team into the security room to watch the entire date go down. He had placed a bug on Sniper’s suit while helping him adjust it, and now everyone was here to watch the show.

Everybody cheered when the guy was shot, though Spy made a mental note to call Miss Pauling in the morning.

The whole team, Scout especially, was excited to see some action when Sniper brought you to his apartment. Well, everyone except Medic. He stood their with his eyebrows creased. He knew exactly what was going to happen.

“Aw, c’mon Snipes, what’s the hold up?! She is so inta you!”

There wasn’t any sound, so no one exactly knew why Sniper paused for so long.

Finally, you two came back together again, but after about thirty minutes of just kissing, the other mercs got bored really fast.

Scout was especially disappointed.

“Man, this was whole thing was a bust!”

Spy shrugged. “Not quite a waste of time. Look at her. She’s smitten. I never thought I would say this, but gentlemen - we have found Sniper a suitable suitor!”

Medic, eyes wide, kept his Sniper’s medical history too himself - not for HIPAA, but for the drama of it all. He wanted to see how this would play out.

Love At First Shot:

On a casual date at his place, Sniper catches you admiring one of his weapons.

“That’s one’s a beaut, ain’ it? That’s one ‘a my oldest guns. She’s outta service, the old girl, but she don’t look a shot over thirty.”

He picks it up and cocks it, nodding approvingly.

“Got this offa real bloody fruit seller. The muzzle ‘ad stains all over it, rust in some places...the bloke obviously had no idea how to take care of it.”

You suddenly feel a pang in your chest.

“Oi, luv, not a fan ‘a guns?”

“No...I...it just made me remember something.”

Sniper puts down his weapon, sits on the sofa, and pats his leg.

“‘Ere. Tell me about it.”

You hesitate for a moment before shyly sitting on his knee. You’re on the smaller side, but you were still afraid you might hurt him.

“Aw, it’s alright. Put your full weight on. These babies can ‘old an Aussie an’ an AK-47.”

You giggle, letting yourself get a little more comfortable.

“Now, luv...what’s on your mind? What’s that pretty lil’ head a’ yours thinkin’?”

You sigh.

“My boyfriend...or, my ex-boyfriend...we broke up for a reason. Or, well, I dumped him. We had been dating for almost three years, and I didn’t see it coming.”

“Crazy train crashed inta the station, huh?”

“He almost did. He...he had hit me before. I just didn’t say anything because I didn’t want him to get in trouble. But one night...it got really, really bad. He wasn’t even drunk. He was still in his work uniform. I stayed with a friend, and I told him it was over with a text - I was just so scared he’d find me. He knew my friends. He knew my address. And so I just wanted to find someone to protect me. It was more than just rebound...I just didn’t want to be alone. I wanted one person in my life he didn’t know so they could protect me.”

You could feel tears welling up in your eyes, but you bit them back. You didn’t feel like sobbing in front of your new boyfriend. Sniper, though, started laying down, taking you with him.

Your head was now under his chin, and you were laying all along his body. The sudden show of affection caught you off guard. You started to cry, burying your face in his chest.

Sniper wrapped his arms around you, supporting your entire weight easily.

Neither of you spoke for a good fifteen minutes, except for Sniper saying an occasional, “Aw, sweetheart...”

Finally, you calmed down, feeling safe in your boyfriend’s embrace.

“Y’know, luv...”

Sniper hesitated.

“I...could teach ya how to shoot. If it’ll make ya feel safe.”

You sniffle and look up.

“I know ya probably want some big, strong man to protect ya, an’ I will. God, if anybody even touches a bloody ‘air on your ‘ead, I’ll kill ‘em. But I wan’ you to go to the movies, or the store, or just ‘ave a nice walk an’ not be lookin’ over your shoulder. I wan’ ya to enjoy your life, luv.”

“I...I can’t shoot a gun...”

“Why not?”

“I can’t...aim or shoot...I don’t think I’ve even held a gun before...”

“Well, we can fix that! ‘Ere...”

Sniper leans over and picks up his old gun again, laying it in your hands. It’s a bit heavier than you expected.

You run your hands over the muzzle and barrel, not even daring to touch the trigger.

Sniper puts his hands over yours and guides them over the gun, giving you more confidence about handling the weapon.

“A gun is like...like a dog. You train it right, an’ you train yourself, you’ll be fine. You’re no kid, so you know ‘ow dangerous these can be. But fear doesn’t shoot the bullet. Fear doesn’ aim for ya.”

Every time you went to his apartment, he would do this. Sometimes you two would be talking, and he would nonchalantly hand you the gun, which, after a while, you took without thought.

Now it was time to take you to the range.

He gave you that old gun to use as practice, but promised a newer, more compact gun when you had gotten the hang of shooting.

Hands on your shoulders, hands over yours, he taught you how to target a person’s more sensitive areas.

Over the next few months, you grew better and better at hitting your mark. You weren’t perfect, but you could definitely defend yourself.

One night, Sniper went to go get you both Chinese food, and you were hanging out at your apartment.

You heard a knock on your window. You ignore it, thinking a bird had flown into it by accident. However, as the knocking grew louder and more insistent, you lift your head, startled.

It was your ex-boyfriend.

He was in a suit, but his face wasn’t nearly as neat. His eyes were red and wide, and his hair was messy.

He had walked up the fire escape to your balcony, and was leaning against the rail, relaxed.

You stayed inside, but you knew that the door was unlocked - he could come in any time he wanted. And he knew this.

He spoke, and you could hear him through the glass.

“Still single. Just like I thought.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off.

“I came back because I was worried. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you...I thought maybe something had happened. You were so depressed when you left. I couldn’t help but think that maybe...well, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re here, and I am more than willing to be with you again. I think we both have cooled off, right? We’ve had some time apart, and now we’ve realized we’re madly in love with each other and can’t be apart for another minute...”

“I have a new boyfriend!”

You blurted it out so suddenly you even surprised yourself. But your ex was unmoved.

“Oh, right. Sure. How much are you paying him, this boyfriend of yours? Do you have to pay extra for sex, or do you have a pity discount?”

“He...he’ll come back...and...”

You looked beside you. Your gun was laying on the floor beside you. Sniper had just taken you to the range, and you hadn’t had enough time to put it away.

You remembered what he said...

“I wan’ ya to enjoy your life, luv.”

You put your hand around the gun, grasping it tightly.

You swallow.

“Come back and what?” your ex jeered. “What’s your new boyfriend going to do? Beat me up?”

You are still trying to make your decision when you hear the glass door open.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you, angel. I want to see your beautiful face.”

You whip around, the gun in your hand. Your ex immediately recoils, his hands flinging up.

“Woah woah woah...!”

“Please. Leave.”

Your voice is hoarse, but you try to sound as firm as possible.

“Even if I didn’t have a boyfriend, I would never get back with you. Ever. You...you made me feel so helpless, scared, alone...I can’t feel that way forever. I don’t want you to get hurt, but I want you to leave and never come back. Please. Just leave me alone.”

Your ex smirks, albeit shakily. “You can’t shoot that. You’ve never touched a gun in your life.”

“My boyfriend wanted me to be safe. He wanted me to be happy. He wanted me to be able to deal with creeps like you.”

You get up, gun still in hand, and your ex backs away.

“He did more than you ever did.”

“What, so you’re just going to shoot me? End up on the six o’clock news?”

“No. I won’t. I don’t want to hurt you. I just want you to leave. For good.”

“I bet that thing isn’t even loaded.”

You show him a half-full magazine and point to the fire escape.

“Like you know how to -!”

You quickly turn to a picture of a seaside landscape, shakily aim, and manage to shoot it, shattering the frame to pieces.

“Get. Out.”

Your ex practically runs out, yelling that he was calling the police.

Sniper comes back a few minutes later, and when he asks you what the hell happened, you start telling him between trembling breaths what had occurred.

Sniper turned bright red and tipped his hat down.

“That bloody wanker...fruit sellin’...”

He starts to walk towards the fire escape, but you stop him.

“I scared him off, please don’t...he said he was going to call the police...”

Sniper took a few deep breaths, calming down.

“We’ve got th’ best lawyers in the country. I’d like to see ‘im try.”

The police was never called - you think it was probably a pride thing, since you had overpowered him so easily - but you weren’t sure you had seen the last of him.

But with your own experience and Sniper’s, you had some piece of mind.

However, you were soon going to find out that Sniper had more power on his side than you thought...

*****************

Long time, no headcanon! Well, good headcanons, anyway. I rushed my last post, so I tried to go all out with this one. I might write a second part when headcanons are open again, but I think I prefer leaving some things up to the imagination, hm?

Anyway, more headcanons on the way! Same bat time, same bat channel! The next one is about siblings, though I may post shorter headcanons before that, since it’s such a fun idea to write.

[transsexualhamlet]

sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

[cozy-neko]

The Cherry On Top • Character Introductions • 01 | And so it begins • 02

With each cup of coffee Y/N placed in the cupholder, a low grumble accompanied the action. Each thunk of coffee that slid into each holder was a little more aggressive and heavy-handed than the task need be, but the air of irritation that emitted from the girl was undeniably strong, and the unfortunate barista that was tasked to make this foul-mood customer’s drinks handed her the last of her order before quickly slinking away.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Y/N continued to grumble under her breath the entire frigid three blocks back to the campus of where her office was located.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid.” A scowl was evident on the girl’s face the entire elevator ride up the tall skyscraper until it dinged and stopped at the 70th floor. It wasn’t until the doors slid open that Y/N sucked in a shaky breath and plastered a Crest-worthy, Splenda-sweet smile on her face as she exited the lift and entered the bustling office.

“Coffee’s here!” Y/N sang out and placed the two cup holders down on top of the front office’s counter tabletop.

“Y/N’s back!”

A scurry of workers crowded around the 21-year-old girl as she animatedly read off orders off the top of her head and handed them out, one-by-one to its rightful owner.

“You’re the best, Y/N-chan!” A senpai from the tech editorial department ruffled her head, earning a small whimper of protest as she tried to sooth her hair. It wasn’t like she spent twenty-minutes this morning trying to tame her unruly mane for nothing.

“Isn’t Y/N the best? She’s always so good at remembering who gets what.” Another senpai from the lifestyle editorial department chimed in and took a sip from her latte.

“Oh no, no! I’m just doing my job.” Y/N let out a forced chuckle, but it went unnoticed as her coworkers slowly disappeared back to their corner of the office to get back to work.

"Alright, you can drop the act, you fake."

The instant Y/N heard a snort coming from behind, the fake smile that was plastered to her face immediately dropped as she whipped around to face a chestnut-haired male.

"I hate it here," Y/N groaned and leaned her upper body onto the countertop. She let out a huff of air and blew a stray piece of hair away from her eyes. "I can't wait to graduate from coffee intern to staff writer."

"You're meeting with the Chief later today, right?" Oikawa Tooru removed his hands from the pockets of his slacks and eyed the remaining drink leftover.

"Mmm, yeah." Y/N let out a distracted sigh as her thumbs flew across the keyboard of her smartphone for a quick text. With the click of a button, she locked her phone and shoved it into her pants pocket and gave her full attention to the older male. "Chief told me that she had good news for me, and judging by all the overtime work and random projects I picked up over the past few months --"

"You mean bitch work?" Oikawa interrupted, earning a glare from the girl.

"For your information, my 'bitch work' got published last week! And that's besides the point. All that matters is that Chief has noticed that I'm a responsible worker who is willing to go above and beyond my day-to-day tasks and now I'm definitely getting the promotion that's been long due!"

There was a smug grin on Y/N's face while Oikawa rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, you are a hard worker, Y/N-chan, but that doesn't mean you should be doing other people's tasks when it should be their job to do them in the first place."

"Can't you just be happy for me?" Y/N whined. "I didn't graduate from UTokyo with over $100k in student debt just to go on coffee runs. And I don't even get to have my own drink!"

Oikawa sighed and placed a hand on top of the shorter girl's head. "I am happy for you. And proud of you. I hope you get the staff writer position you wanted, and when you do get assigned to my department, I'll make sure to run you dead with ten articles simultaneously." 

There was an evil, teasing glint in Oikawa's eyes which Y/N responded to by sticking out her tongue.

A ding! interrupted the teasing banter and Y/N checked her phone. She let out a quick squeal and a small hop.

"Gotta go! Ayame-san from tech has an article she wants me to write!"

Y/N waved goodbye and scurried away.

"Hey! I asked for a dirty Chai, not a mocha! What the fuck, Y/N?" Oikawa yelled after the retreating girl.

"Serves you right for making me do your coffee run too, Oinkawa!" Y/N's bubbly laughter echoed through the hallway as she skipped towards the tech editorial department.

Oikawa sighed and tugged at the front pieces of his hair. It was already nearing the end of the day, but he was still at least half an hour away from completing his remaining task for the day. He was currently in the middle of copy-editing an article one of his staff writers submitted earlier today when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

Oikawa removed his glasses and pulled out his phone, rubbing his tired eyes while unlocking his phone. It was a text from Y/N.

She must've finally talked to Chief, Oikawa thought. He swiped his thumb to unlock his phone and read the text.

Oikawa grimaced at Y/N’s text. It was obvious the meeting did not go the way Y/N had wanted it to. Sighing, Oikawa stood up and packed his things. Looks like the article was going to have to be pushed back a week; there was a more important meeting he had to attend to first.

Y/N glared at her phone and bounced her leg, a nervous tick that Oikawa absolutely hated whenever she did. Maybe if he was here right now, he would've had the opportunity to scold her. Except his train was running five minutes late. Y/N groaned as she watched another minute go by.

Where's Tooru?

How much longer was he going to make her sit in agony at their favorite bakery and tea shop? 

Right when Y/N was about to hit send on her phone, the shop door jingled, and in waltzed Oikawa.

"Alright, alright, I'm here. What happened?" Oikawa was slightly breathless, having sped-walked from the station and down the block to meet up with Y/N. He rolled up his button-down sleeves and removed his work badge from around his neck.

"So I got the promotion," Y/N began to which Oikawa cut her off.

"Okay, congrats, but that's hardly an existential crisis."

"No! Let me finish!" Y/N stomped her foot once, irritation beginning to seep in. Oikawa rolled his eyes, completely immune to Y/N's temper flare ups. Instead of retorting, he opted to take a sip of her fruit tea. "I got the promotion, but it wasn't the promotion I wanted."

"Did you get placed in lifestyle with Iwa-chan? I heard that department's kind of a mess right now. Iwa-chan told me their lifestyle editor's too busy hooking up with Hanamaki's layout intern to even run the department --"

"Tooru, for kami's sake, I'm begging you to shut up." Y/N groaned and covered her face with her hands. "I'm TK Mag's new gossip blogger. Chief wants me to freaking exploit influencers under the alias of 'Cherry' for the new Cherry on Top blog."

“The new what now?”

end notes: 

→ the timestamps at the top of each photo are irrelevant. the timestamps that you want to pay attention to (or not. it really doesn’t matter) are the ones within the text chats.

→ if you see the word shanchou in oikawa’s and y/n’s texts, i accidentally misspelled the word shachou which means “president of the company.” i was debating whether i wanted to use the japanese spelling or just keep it as Chief. i changed my mind multiple times and decided to just go with the english version but got too lazy to correct the photo. 🤡

→ props to authors who only explicitly write smaus. creating each social post is so time consuming and slightly frustrating that i almost threw my phone across the room.

→ don’t come at me for my nonexistent and try-hard humor. 😔✋this is why i only write angst.

→ no kenma and akaashi this chapter, but they will be introduced in the next!

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[destinys-lies]

Great Job, Internet! by destiny’s lies

Disclaimer:

Boku no hero academia and its characters do not belong to me, but Kōhei Horikoshi. Any images used are credited to their original owner(s).

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Prompt:

Day 3: Haunted—Superstition

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Author’s Note:

Just an Izuocha drabble to help improve my writing skills. I chose to do superstition. 

A friend of mine (she wants to be anonymous) helped me out a lot with this story, so thanks! She made it really fun for me to write this. Also, she says, “Don’t break glass.” I hope you guys enjoy this story!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Synopsis: 

Izuku knew death was inevitable but he didn’t expect for it to come so soon and be so painfully stressful.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Izuku sat alone on the couch, staring at the television screen. A show about haunted houses was playing. He was never the biggest fan when it came to the spooky and paranormal, but he had to admit, it was interesting to watch.

Multiple pinging sounds echoed throughout his house. It was his phone. Someone must’ve texted him.

With a tired sigh, he got up from the couch and sauntered upstairs to his bedroom to find his phone lying on his bed. He picked it up and looked at the several messages covering the screen. 

They were all from Ochako. 

A slight smile crawled onto this face. She was always thinking about him. He let his gaze crawl up to the pictures of him and Ochako hanging on the wall. Each picture held a precious memory from their past. He was so lucky to have her in his life.

Holding his phone in one hand, he reached the doorknob. His elbow bumped into a wall, causing a picture to fall onto the ground. The frame broke. His shoulders twitched by the unexpectedly loud volume of the sound. The shattered frame contained a picture of him from his younger years.

He thought nothing of it. He’d come by later to clean it. Closing the door behind him, he walked downstairs, reading the messages that Ochako had sent. She wanted him to go to the grocery store to get some ingredients to make for dinner later. He texted a message back.

Izuku would have no problem with that, he’s done it at least a thousand times. Locking the door behind him, he merrily walked down the sidewalk. 

Eventually, he reached the end of the sidewalk. Beside him stood a pole with a button that allowed pedestrians to cross. He pressed the button and waited for the light to turn green.

Once the light turned green, Izuku checked both directions before proceeding. Cars on both sides of the crosswalk stood still, their engines quietly rumbling. Certain that he was in the clear, he walked down the crosswalk. The sound of loud screeching startled him. He quickly glanced in the direction to see a big, black truck speeding towards him. The driver carelessly honked the horn, showing no signs of stopping or slowing down.

Without wasting another second, he jumped out of the way onto the sidewalk. His heart violently thrummed in his chest as he glanced behind to see the speeding truck fade into the distance. He sat on the curb, trying to catch his breath before standing up.

He wiped off the dirt from his pants. A large, jagged hole in his jeans was visible on the side of his jeans. 

“Great,” he grumpily muttered. “Just what I needed.”

With a huff, he continued his way onto the grocery store.

                                                         * * *

Returning from the grocery store, Izuku went on his merry way home. The sound of rushing water caught his attention and turned to look at the large pond lying in the center of the park. 

I’ll cut through the park. It’ll take me home faster and the scenery looks great.

He walked up to the pond until he spotted a weird object sticking out of the pond. He leaned in to get closer until he felt a shove from behind.

“Whoopsie!” a person exclaimed before timorously dashing away.

He dove headfirst into the pond.  

It was nothing to worry about though, it was just a pond. Well, that’s what he suspected. However, when he fell in, he realized the pond was way deeper than he expected. He flailed his arms as the grocery bags he clung to acted like cement bags, dragging him down. Realizing he had to sacrifice his food for his life, he let go of the bags, letting them sink to the bottom of the pond as he swam up to the top.

Emerging from the murky water, Izuku began coughing up water as he took big gulps of air.

“Today…is...really...not...my day,” he panted, trying to catch his breath.

He needed to vent to someone. Thinking of Ochako, he pulled out his wet phone to text her. He pressed the power button in an attempt to turn it on, but the water ruined it. The phone stared at him blankly.

“Are you fucking serious?!” he groaned, clenching his other hand into a fist.

He put away his phone and stomped back home, furious and soggy. The crack of thunder warned him about the impending rain. Then it rained. He began rushing home, the sound of heavy raindrops falling onto the sidewalk.

He stopped running to catch his breath before another crack of lightning struck a few feet in front of him, hitting a tree. He stood there in shock, staring at the charred tree before collecting himself and walking again. He heard a loud shout behind him and turned towards the sound, nearly getting hit by the tree that the lightning struck. 

“SHIT! SOMETHING’S OUT TO GET ME!”

He dashed the rest of the way home, locking the door behind him and running up the stairs. He logged on to his computer, trying to get his mind off the disastrous series of events that occurred. His mind wandered back to the frame he shattered earlier.

Izuku decided to look through new frames on his computer to get his mind off everything. He saw a link from a discussion forum that piqued his interest. Curious, he clicked on it and began reading it through.

The guy on the forum was talking about all the things he had experienced. Strangely, all the stuff this guy mentioned he had experienced, all because he broke a picture frame. The post was five years old. He scrolled down the chat to see what the guy did to stop this “curse,” but he didn’t see any updates.

Izuku quietly read the post aloud, “When glass breaks, it’s already too late. Your life is tangled in a new fate. A new life full of despair and agony awaits until you fall and never rise again. That is when the curse breaks but at that point, it is already the end because you’ll be dead.”

DEAD? he thought. All those things that happened to him—they were because of breaking that picture. Another crack of thunder lit up the sky. “I’M GOING TO DIE!” he cried.

                                                         * * *

A few hours later, Ochako entered the house, closing the door behind her. Work had been tiresome and stressful. She closed the door. It was dark. That’s strange, she wondered. Typically Izuku is up at this time waiting for me.

She turned on the lights and looked at the couch. There in the murky darkness was Izuku covered in blankets and quivering in fear. His bloodshot eyes stared down at the ground. Her smile fell into a frown.

“Izuku?” she sympathetically asked. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m going to die, Ochako,” he whimpered as he slowly rocked himself, hugging his legs close to his chest. “I’m going to die.” 

“W-What? Why do you think that?”

“I don’t know, but someone’s trying to kill me. They’re after me—they all are.”

“Izuku, honey, who’s after you?”

“EVERYONE!”

“They tried to kill me with a truck! They saw me b-but they s-still ATTACKED ME! They want me to die, Ochako!” he panicked, viciously trembling. “T-THE THUNDER! THE THUNDER TRIED TO KILL ME! I UPSET THEM OCHAKO! I UPSET THE GODS! I don’t know what I’m going to do, Ochako. Should I go by a different name? Should I just wait f-for it h-happen? Wait to just die? I’m not going to die, Ochako! I’M NOT GOING TO DIE! I CAN’T DIE! I can’t die by a stupid picture!”

He waved his hands frantically, rambling on and on about the endless possibilities of dying before finally breaking down into tears. Ochako silently stared at him. She walked over to him, sitting beside him and embracing him in a hug.

“Hey Izuku, it’ll be alright. You’ll be okay.” Ochako gave him a reassuring smile. Izuku tried to smile back, but the stress of the day made it difficult.

Ochako gestured towards the door. “I think you need some fresh air. Let’s take a walk.” 

Izuku followed Ochako outside, sticking close beside her. The heavy rain was now a drizzle. Ochako liked the rain, it was one of her favorite things. She always carried an umbrella with her.

Together, they walked down the sidewalk and Ochako put away the umbrella when the drizzle stopped. The streets were damp and the air was still scented with the smell of rain. 

Ochako giggled as she splashed a puddle on Izuku, trying to lighten the mood. Izuku usually would’ve laughed along with her, but he was too busy watching a large dog. Its leash looked worn and loose from years of stretching it. The dog aggressively barked and growled as the two passed by. It pulled on the leash, lunging at Izuku with blood in its eyes.

Ochako realized what Izuku was worried about, so she offered to walk on the other side of the street, away from the dog. 

Then all of the sudden, the dog’s leash snapped and it charged at Izuku. He ran as fast as he could run, adrenaline pushing him all the way back home. 

A few minutes later, Ochako arrived, a guilty expression donning her face.

“The dog’s owner told me that he’s never acted like that before, he’s usually a sweet dog,” she worriedly explained. She shut the door behind her and walked over to Izuku, who was anxiously sitting on the couch with his face in his hands.

“It’s alright,” Izuku assured her. “I just must’ve done something to upset him.” 

He chuckled nervously trying to reassure Ochako. Ochako let out an exasperated sigh. He was doing it again. She knew him too well, he was trying to hide his problems for her own ease. She wasn’t going to let it go though. 

“It’s going to be okay.” She smiled comfortably at him, gently rubbing his back.

“I don’t want to die,” Izuku cried.

“You’re not going to die,” Ochako told him, leaning closer to him. She pulled a charm out of her pocket and placed it into Izuku’s hand. “Here,” she said. “Have this.”

Izuku stared at the rainbow-colored bracelet. “What is it?” Izuku asked, looking down at it.

“It’s a good luck charm. It’ll keep you safe,” she told him. “It kept me safe when I needed it. Now you need it.”  

“Ochako?” Izuku stared into her soft, brown eyes, his mouth breaking into a small smile. “Thank you.”

“No problem, honey,” she replied before placing a kiss on his cheek. “Anytime.”