#so self-care is easier if it's directed at someone who doesn't look like him as much. someone he can distance himself from

[fernpetals]

Imagine Keanu's characters with Dollification Kink.

Oh, my first ask for this account!

This is interesting.

Warning: Mentions of toxic behaviour, descriptions of stalking, captivity and heavy objectification below the cut.

None of the GIFs is mine, credit goes to the rightful owner(s)

Canon John

He loves you the way you are, but if you are wearing a more feminine or cute attire, he will be fighting his self-control and trying not to pounce on you. He is protective by nature, and if he sees your pretty eyes, sweet stare and smile, he will be on his knees. He seems the kind who loves to spoil his darling---both in canon and as a yandere, so expect random shopping trips to places you barely know, but it's safer and he will sit outside the changing room, to watch you twirl in as many dresses, tops and whatever you like.

Yandere John Wick

The type who already sees you as a delicate creature, no matter what profession you are in. If you are a civilian with a regular job, there is no convincing him otherwise. He sees you as someone undeserving to even see the cruelty of the world, and someone who cannot take care of herself. you need him(it's the other way around), a sweet little thing like you cannot survive on your own. Just let him take care of you, resisting will only make it worse darling. You are his sweet doll who looks lovely in the dresses he has carefully chosen for you, filling your side of his closet. Would love to dress you up in cute feminine attires, only so that he can fuck you in them on every surface of his home. You look so cute and so sweet---so delicate--- perfect for him to eat you up like his favourite dessert, he savours it. I feel Yandere John has a heavy corruption kink, after Donaka, of course.

Canon Donaka Mark

Speaking of having a corruption kink---yandere or canon, Donak Mark has it. Honestly, his canon character already portrays such dark traits, you keep wondering how worse will he get? Canon Donaka has a room just for you, with cameras within and out of sight. He is always watching is doll. It's like a dollhouse for him. Maybe he has cameras all over your house, there is no corner that you can hide from him, and he decides what happens in your life next. It's a game for him, but this time, there is no fight, just a person he finds...interesting.

Yandere Donaka

His corruption kink is ten times worse perhaps---he violates your privacy more intimately, at a more personal level. Suddenly, bags of organic, healthy groceries are delivered to your home. You are eating everything he deems right for you. The bills already, and a luxury 'taxi' waits for you every day outside your home, taking you wherever you want. If you are freaking out, he savours the fear---it's a game for him, it's only until he decides it's enough when he comes. he has a room perfectly set for you, with everything that makes you his sweet little doll that the knows you have tremendous potential of becoming.

Canon Tom Ludlow

Seeing his protective and forward nature, I feel canon Tom is the type to be very direct and very protective towards you. The type who loves to see you in cute sundresses--- easier and hotter to make love when he can simply flip up the skirt of your dress, pull down your undergarments and make you see stars even on the brightest of days. Sees you as a delicate flower, and finds you cute. You are his cute little doll since the day he laid his sharp eyes on you. Maybe even loves to do your hair?

Yandere Tom Ludlow

Maybe ten times more protective, in a toxic way and add intense possessiveness to the pot, you have a dangerous combination. Yandere Tom, I feel is the type to make decisions for you. Sees you as an angel too good for this world who cannot see the monsters lurking or the nasty face of the world. Sees you as someone he can take care of, much like Yandere John, but Yandere Tom also sees you as someone who doesn't know better-- but do not worry, he is going to make all the decisions for you doll, he knows the best. If you reject him or confront him, he is not afraid of intimidating and cornering you.

That is all I can think of right now. Hope you enjoyed it lovely Anon!

[writingforatwistedworld]

I saw your requests open, so i decided to send in a request of my own before they close again <3 I'd like to request, Lilia Vanrouge, Ace Trappola, and Azul Ashengrotto with your self-aware au, if thats okay. My request is a GN!Reader who is the twin sibling to the overseer, who isn't that invested in the game but sometimes watches their sibling play. more on the platonic side too if thats okay!

You have every right to decline this request.

Self-aware au

I do not take any responsibility for you reading this no matter which age group you are from!

WARNINGS: Yandere themes, family problems, unhealthy relationship, obsession, implies kidnapping, violence

Ace Trappola/Azul Ashengrotto/Lilia Vanrouge-Twin sibling of the Player (PLATONIC!!!)

What a great day! The Overseer has blessed the world with their presence again!

The birds are chirping, it feels like it’s much easier to take care of the flamingos and even the hedgehogs are-WHY ARE THERE TWO OF OF THEM??!

Ok, the guy is just flabbergasted

There was never any talk about there being two Overseers

But wait, no. They aren’t the Overseer. You just look a lot like they were cloned

A bit of a different nose, the voice is also much different…

So… otherworldly being are also capable of having twins. Why does this suprise him so much?

It is a bit weird for him in the beginning

But over time he gets used to them and even wants you to be there

Why? Well because he is just a nice gu-he just wants bonus points

Imagine, your twin thinking that he is an awesome guy and telling them how great you think he is

That was the plan at least, now he geniunely cares about you (in a platonic way)

It’s as if you were adopted only that Ace is a lot more ready to use violence compared to what he would do if his older brother was the one should something ever happen to you

This guy is protective. People talk how boring you are in comparison to your twin? Deuce had to hold him back to beating them into… red messes

Sometimes he would also be grocery shopping for the dorm, see something and ask himself if he should buy it for his sibling on the other side of that seperation

Five seconds later he has to hold back a scream because he realised that he sees you as his own sibling

Yeah, safe to say that you just got a brother. A brother capable of a lot of violence should someone be the slightest bit rude to you but still a brother

Ah so, a twin?

Unlike Ace Azul is very chill with there being someone who looks like the Overseer

How nice, family fun… wait why aren’t you interested in them?

Azul wishes that you were even the slightest bit interested in the game

But no, you just watch your twin whilst stuff goes down here

Is this world not good enough for you?

Like a doting older brother he will try to correct things for you but… you aren’t the Overseer so there is not really something he can do…

It's suddenly like he has another reason for trying so hard other than his past and the Overseer

Now now, he can't be a bad brother, right? So everything needs to be perfect

Heartlabyul student number 36 suddenly feels chills going down his spine after he had said something in a dialogue that had bothered you

Azul doesn't even think about what he could get you when he is going out

No, he has more money than most students so when he sees something he just buys it

Of course not always, he also has to look out for the numbers on his bank account

He is very curious about you so he immediately starts trying to find out more about you like what you like, dislike, so on so on

There is that nagging feeling however

Azul knows that he means nothing to you even though you are like a sinking to him

So what does he need to do so that you at least notice him?

Floyd had never been so scared for his life before after he saw Azul threw that look in his direction

Octopus is a huge lump of muscles so I wouldn't be surprised that he once or twice crushed someones... breathing tube going down their throat out of anger and stress from wondering what he could do to make you his sibling

You know those religious moms that have a meltdown when someone says something against the foundation of their religious believes?

Yeah, Lilia is that mom just in male version

Whaaaat? TheOverseer has a twin? Are they testing him by showing him an illusion looking exactly like them?

Only after Malleus had a long, calming talk with him about his they don't really know that much about the Overseer despite them being their god

So after many emptied cups of tea and many sleepless nights, he finally accepts it

Whilst your twin governs this world you two share some banter and oh, how lovely it is

It almost feels like the old days when Silver and Sebek were much younger...

Congrats, if TWST had a reward system with funky names you would now get the notification of “Melancholy for the old days-how to make an immortal cry tears”

He definitely bursts into tears of happiness when he sees the two of you being so close

Ah yes, there were once those royal siblings which ended with one dead from his younger sisters jealousy, how good that the two of you get along

Those memories do get entangled with the sight of you two which makes him see you in a more “you-being-his-child” way

Your twin, no, he has studied too many scriptures to associate them like that. You though... you are more or less a new variable so...

How heartbreaking to see you separated from your true family, Silver and him

Malleus had a “wait what?” expression on his face when he heard Lilia cry about his lost child to him for the first time

Which led to Lilia telling Malleus that his child is on the other side of the two worlds and now there being preparations made it get that child back

Don't you worry, oh sweet child, soon you will be back by your fathers side, whether you want it or not

Oh he can't wait to introduce you to Sebek!

[strangersteddierthings]

Writing Prompt for this list, requested by @suddenlyinlove. #42. "His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow." and #30. “Can I sit here? The other tables are full.”

Details - This is an AU with a twist I don't wanna spoil so like... suspend your disbelief please. Period-typical homophobia and thus, the use of slurs derogatorily. Stir clear if that is triggering.

Posted on Ao3 because it is long (9.7k) and it might be easier to read there for some.

-

August 25, 1984 - Two Days Before the Start of School

There's a good view of the whole party from their dark corner of the yard, where Jeff, Gareth, and Brian are huddled around him. Eddie'd told Carol Perkins he'd show but only if his friends could come, too. If she wanted weed, then his friends could have beer.

Plus, if he was going to suffer, they were going to suffer. That's what friendship was about.

"His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow," Eddie mutters, glaring in the general direction of Steve 'The Hair' Harrington as he laughs at something (he's clutching his beer awfully tight for someone having fun- Nope, Eddie doesn't care).

"Right? Can see it ballooning right before our eyes," Jeff says. This is why Jeff is his best friend. They hate on the same things. People. Whatever.

"Sorry for you guys," Eddie fakes sympathy, "once I graduate, I won't have to deal with it. Let me know if anyone shoves you into a locker though. I'll slash some tires or refuse to sale 'em weed. Whichever hurts them more."

"You said that last year," Gareth says. "And yet."

Eddie pretends to stab himself in the heart, falling to the ground dramatically, gasping like he was dying before finally stilling, staring as unblinking as he could at the sky.

Jeff nudges him with his foot, "good riddance, Munson. People will remember you weirdly."

Eddie breaks character to grin up, lifting a hand that Jeff takes and helps pull him up. "Remembered weirdly is what it's all about."

"Speaking of weird, Harrington's being... weird," Gareth says, tilting his head slightly, still looking in the direction they'd all been looking at just moments before. "When you just dropped he like... I dunno. Weird."

"What, weird how. What did he do?" Eddie whips to look at Harrington, who is looking back, looking worried, and is slightly closer than he was before. Eddie watches as Harrington's eyes track his entire self, looking for what, Eddie can't even begin to understand. He can visibly see the tension leave Harrington's body, pretty sure even his friends clocked that (even though they have less experience in the Harrington-watching department than himself).

"When you dropped, he like... rushed forward. I think he caught how fucking weird that would be for him to do 'cause he stopped just as quickly. That's weird, right?"

"Really fucking weird."

Harrington steps back into his friend group, more on the outside than he was before. (Did seem like people loved Hargrove a bit more than Harrington these days).

Eddie and his friends go back to trash talking everyone they can set their eyes on. It's easy to do, what with being ignored in the corner again. Occasionally Eddie is flagged down by someone, or they try and make eye contact (which is worse), so he huffs as though put upon and marches off to a different corner of the Perkins' backyard to sale his contraband.

(If he's marking it up, well, these rich kids can afford it.)

Anyway, their trash talk always seems to come back to Harrington. None of them acknowledge it out loud but Harrington's the easiest to shit talk in public because he's the safest. He's egotistical, kinda airheaded, and an asshole, but in a different way than Hagan or Jackson or most of the other jocks.

Harrington is the kind of asshole that you introduce yourself to 15 times and unless you're 'popular' he doesn't bother to remember he's already met you. Hagan and Jackson are assholes that give you a swirlee if you sneeze wrong near them, or will call you a fag before gut punching you behind the bleachers because they think they caught you staring at them (which Eddie was not ((It was Harrington he was staring at)).

He's safe to shit talk because he doesn't get physical (couldn't win a fight if the rumors were true (Also they all saw how he looked after Jonathan got him)) and rarely gets confrontational (less so with each passing year). Eddie thinks that's his ego - he's so full of himself that anything you say about him can't possibly affect him. (What are the words of a peasant in the face of a king, after all?)

That's not to say they haven't fucked up and said something at just the right time to provoke Harrington in the past, because they all have, but it's typically his lackeys that jump in defense, that say something first to defend Harrington. And The King will let them bark and growl just enough to put the peasants back in their place, calming his dogs with words of 'they're not worth it' and 'if what he said meant anything it would have hurt, wouldn't it?' which is just rude. Like Eddie and his friends aren't even people capable of drawing Harrington's attention, much less his wrath.

If Eddie's honest with himself (he's not), he would stop to question why he even wants to provoke a reaction from Harrington (it's because of his stupid crush), but Eddie's not honest so...

The point is, they feel pretty comfortable trash talking Harrington in hushed whispers to themselves in a corner of Carol Perkins' yard.

"Do you think he, like, genuinely thinks he looks cool when he does that?" Gareth whispers as they watch Harrington shotgun a beer, again.

"Dunno, probab-" Jeff cuts himself off, a quizzical expression on his face as he turns his head to look towards the Perkins' house. He's got ears that pick up everything, so Eddie just watches as he moves away from the group to the fence. Watches as Jeff jumps to look over. When he lands, he flips quickly back to them, looking between them and the group of party goers. He takes a moment, assessing his options it seems, before cupping his hands around his mouth and shouting, "Cops in bound! Just turned onto the street!"

The party starts scattering instantly, teens running in all directions.

Brian and Gareth eye the back fence and Eddie knows immediately they're not going to jump it. Eddie throws Gareth the keys to his van, "get Jeff and go."

They don't argue, they've done this song and dance before. Eddie knows they might get a stern talking to for smelling like beer but if Eddie's in the van with them, they're all ending up in jail because of what's in his lunchbox. (Hell, they'd still get a night in jail instead of just a warning for the beer if Eddie's in the van without the lunchbox).

Eddie's not the most athletic but he's gotta run. He tosses his lunchbox over the back fence before hauling himself up, one leg over and trying to get the other when he gets high-centered for a moment before gravity starts to pull him down (thankfully on the correct side of the fence) only to find the chain on his jeans catches along something at the top, leaving him to cling quickly to the fence, praying he can muster enough upper body strength to haul himself back up enough to unstick the chain before the cops get here. He tries to readjust and his hand slips, he can't get any leverage. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

He's so screwed. Officer Callihan said if he was caught again, he'd be tried as an adult. Wayne's going to kill him. Why won't these stupid jeans just rip, how has the chain not given way yet? He's going to get caught with his lunchbox right at his feet. He's-

Being shoved back up, someone's shoulder digging painfully into his ribcage to get the leverage needed for Eddie's body to be high enough for the stranger's hand to sneak up and unstick the chain. Eddie expects to be dumped suddenly and unceremoniously on the ground but this does not happen. Instead, his mysterious hero manages to keep him pinned up on the fence long enough to turn themselves so both of the stranger's arms are under Eddie and then they kind of just... sink together, using the fence as a counterweight by leaning into but not actually dragging Eddie down against it.

The culmination of which ends with Eddie being held like some blushing bride in Steve Harrington's lap. Eddie opens his mouth to say... something. What, he doesn't know, but Harrington lifts a finger to his lips to signal him to be quiet. So, he stays quiet, heart pounding.

It takes about five full seconds before the sounds of the cops busting the party actually start, the sirens on the cars flipping on to let the scattering teens know they've been caught. In that same instance, Harrington sweeps up Eddie's lunch box and shoves it onto his chest, where one of Eddie's hands comes up to wrap around and hold it close on instinct, the sound the metal handle clanging on the metal lid meaningless in all the other sounds happening.

Using his other hand, Harrington basically folds Eddie forward and out of his lap, back on his own feet in a crouch. Harrington shoves his chin forward, a silent instruction to move but Eddie's still wrapping his head around the fact he's no longer dangling from a wooden fence like an idiot, so Harrington steps forward, a hand wrapping around the wrist of Eddie's free hand, forcing him to follow along as they stealth along the wooden fence of the Perkins' residence, then the fence of the neighbors, and finally a third neighbor before the fences run off and all that's left is the woods that boarder the town one way, and a way back to the road on the other.

Eddie should pull his wrist free and book it, run as fast and as far from Harrington and this party as he can get but he's kind of star struck right now (he can be a little honest with himself, as a treat). He just follows, lets Harrington jerk him around (don't even think it Munson, do not think about it-) and follows quietly.

Harrington peeks around the end of the fence, looking for any incoming trouble, Eddie assumes, and quickly jerks back, looking to Eddie, "you trust me, man?"

And Eddie, the idiot, says, "Yeah, man."

Harrington grabs his lunchbox, ripping it away from him with ease (Eddie's still star struck, okay?) and shoves it up against the fence, twisting his body as he does, so he ends up sitting with his back to this fence, body blocking sight of the lunchbox before pulling Eddie into his lap.

This is what brings Eddie back into his body. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Just don't punch me until I get the cop that's gonna round the fence any time now to go away."

Eddie could bolt but he's not particularly fast, so he'd be caught, and he knows the odds. Between himself and Harrington, they'll book him and let Harrington go with a warning. So, Harrington thinks he can get the cop to go away? Okay. He lets Harrington manhandle him (don't think it don'tthinkit don't-) He's absolutely thinking it because Harrington grabs his ass and pulls him flush against him before a hand cups the back of his head and shoves his face into Harrington's neck, and then Harrington whispers in his ear, "just pretend we've been making out back here for the last half hour."

Fuck! Harrington's trying to get him shot by the goddamn police. He is an idiot and should have known better than to trust him. Well. If Harrington thinks he can get away from this unscathed, he's sorely mistaken. Eddie lifts his hands to ruffle Harrington's perfect hair before gripping it roughly with one hand, the other moving to brace himself on the fence, then he latches onto Harrington's neck, intent on giving Harrington the biggest, ugliest hickie of his life. Try and explain that away you asshole.

Except Harrington's reaction isn't what Eddie had thought it would be. Instead of being shoved, the hands on his ass and in his hair squeeze, seemingly trying to get Eddie closer and that is definitely a moan his hears, breathed directly into his ear. It eggs Eddie on a bit, truthfully, so he pulls back a little, less set on just marking Harrington and a little more set on seeing if he can make Harrington actually enjoy it.

Eddie presses kisses over the bit of skin he'd just bit like a wild animal and runs his tongue up to gently pull at Harrington's earlobe, before kissing his way back down to suck at the same spot some more. Harrington keeps switching from squeezing at him to petting him and Eddie's not really going to complain. The police can come shoot him. He'll die- well, not happy but at least alright.

"Jesus Christ, kid!"

Eddie tries to jerk away, a reflex because that's Chief Hopper's voice and he's so fucking screwed, but Harrington keeps him moored there, face hidden, hand cradling his head more gently than it has been thus far, the hand on his ass moving up to his lower back, holding him closer... dare he say, protectively.

"Hopper," Harrington sounds more calm than Eddie thought he would, "hi."

Eddie wishes he could see what is happening because there is an awful lot of silence going on in which he can only assume Hopper and Harrington are staring at each other. (Having a silent conversation, perhaps?)

Then the heaviest sigh he's ever heard from Chief Hopper (and he's heard some heavy ones in his days) greets the air, "I don't want to know who that is. Just this once, I am going to pretend I didn't see you here. You'd think that you would learn- Next time you and your boyfriend sneak away from a party to- just go to his house. Jesus, if it had been anyone but me walking around this corner... Give it about twenty minutes before you leave." The sound of retreating footsteps and Hopper's voice reporting in his walkie an 'all clear' follow those words.

They don't part immediately. Eddie waits until the footsteps cannot be heard before pulling back. Harrington makes no move to remove his hands from Eddie's person, so as a result the hand that was in Eddie's hair falls to his shoulder, then his chest, where it rests now that he's back far enough to look at Harrington. The moon is bright, and Eddie's eyes have adjusted to the dark of the evening, so he can see Harrington's face. "How the fuck did that just work?"

Harrington gives an almost hysterical sounding giggle before he tries to drop his head back to rest on the fence. He can't successfully do that, because Eddie realizes he's still cradling Harrington's head with one hand.

He makes no motion to move his hand, just holds Harrington's head up as he seems to be going through... something right now.

It takes several minutes, but finally he speaks. "It's kinda personal. Let's just say, Hopper and I got history, a- well, a good history isn't how I'd put it, but like, we're on the same page with it."

"Did you fuck Hopper?"

Harrington laughs out loud and Eddie slaps his other hand (the one not currently petting his soft, soft hair) over his mouth to muffle the noise. That sobers Harrington a little, remembering the 'wait twenty minutes' thing and once it seems like he's got it together again, Eddie removes his hand.

"No. Nothing like that with Hopper."

Eddie's a bit hung up on that fact Harrington is not immediately shouting that he's not a fag and would never have slept with the chief of police, a man. "You're really not gonna tell me."

"No."

They just kind of look at each other after that. Eddie's not sure what to do now. He should get out of Harrington's lap, right? That's a thing he should definitely be doing right now.

But.

But Harrington isn't shoving him off. In fact, his eyes are half closed as he stares at Eddie, eyes occasionally flicking up to meet his own, so Eddie feels like he can confidently say King Steve is looking at his lips. Eddie licks his lips, a test of sorts.

Harrington passes, because his tongue flicks out to lick his own lips.

"Hey, Eddie," (what the fuck. Harrington has never, not once, said his name, and Eddie has re-introduced himself several times.) "I want to kiss you. Can I?"

Oh.

Eddie's never been asked that before.

Gross. Eddie's got fucking butterflies in his stomach from Steve fucking Harrington.

Eddie wants to say yes so fucking bad but- well, his whole world view of Steve Harrington has just been rocked and now a ball of guilt is forming inside him for how he's marked up Harrington's neck like a wanton slut and Harrington asks for a kiss. But Harrington is also, at minimum, five beers in plus the weed, so he's clearly not thinking straight (ha fucking ha) because he wouldn't be asking him for a kiss if he was.

"No," Eddie says softly, "you're drunk. If you still wanna kiss me in the daylight, ask then."

Harrington scrunches his face and Eddie doesn't know him well enough to decipher what that look means, but he nods, sitting up so he can lean forward and nuzzle his face into Eddie's chest, bumping the top of his head against Eddie's chin like a cat.

Eddie leans his head atop Harrington's and lets himself be cuddled.

What a weird fucking night.

-

"Jeff!" Eddie flings himself on his friend's couch the next day, face down in the cushions, his voice mumbled as he continues, "I don't know what to do."

Jeff, ever patient with Eddie, just folds his legs at the knee and sits on the couch, dropping his legs back down and into his lap. "The way I see it, you do nothing."

"Nothing?"

"You sound extra pathetic mumbling into the couch. Nothing. If Harrington wants to kiss you, he'll ask again. If he doesn't, or tries to turn this on you, remind him he's the one that let another boy mark him up. You don't know if you can trust him."

Eddie musters all his strength to turn his head to the side so he can breath again. "You're right. As usual."

"Try not to sound so annoyed and disappointed."

"I should trust the Munson doctrine. If it's too good to be true, then it's not true," Eddie says as he wiggles forward, out of Jeff's lap and onto his knees, shuffling around until he's sitting cross-legged on the center cushion.

"Maybe, maybe not. Like, we know Harrington's an asshole but he's not mean," Jeff says. "besides, maybe being dumped by Nancy Wheeler for Jonathan Byers might have shaken some decency into him. Humility, even."

Suppose they'll learn if that's true tomorrow. "You can't tell anyone what I told you."

"Duh. Blackmail only works if the leverage you have is still a secret."

-

“Can I sit here? The other tables are full.”

Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, and Brian all look up at the same time. Harrington isn't even holding a lunch tray, hands in the pockets of his letterman jacket, striped polo tucked into light wash jeans under his opened jacket, Eddie's hickie only half hidden by the polo's collar.

Eddie's eyes scan the cafeteria quickly. Hawkins is a small town, so it stands to reason the schools are too. There are literal, completely empty tables. So, Eddie's eyes go to the table Harrington usually sits at.

Ah.

Everyone there is looking over. Watching. Waiting, probably. This is the trick. The joke. If Eddie lets him sit, they've pegged him for the desperate fag they all tell him he is.

"'Fraid this table is full, too," Eddie says, careful to sound bored as he says it, looking directly at Harrington.

Harrington's eyes widen slightly, like he hadn't expected Eddie to deny him. Well, joke backfired, buddy.

"I.... see," Harrington says slowly. "My mistake."

And they all watch him leave with such little fanfare that Eddie's wondering if he misread the situation. Was Harrington actually wanting to sit with them- but no. He watches as Harrington returns to his table, to the royalty of Hawkins High. Hagan says something to him and Harrington just shrugs with one shoulder before plopping onto the bench.

They wait for Harrington to start up conversation, for the leering and mocking to start up but it doesn't. Harrington just sits there in silence.

"What... was that?" Gareth asks, looking away from the Royalty to look at Eddie.

"Got no idea," Eddie lies, even as Jeff is leveling him with a look he refuses to acknowledge.

-

November 7th, 1984

Harrington was absent yesterday (not that Eddie keeps track) and now here Harrington is, slinking into the American History class they share for first period, face busted to shit. Eddie does a double take because he thinks his eyes are playing tricks on him but no. Harrington looks worse than when Jonathan got him.

Eddie spends the first twenty minutes of class just watching Harrington. Harrington slides into his chair and keeps his head down, eyes closed most of the time. Every now and then he winces and drops his head into his hands, palms digging into eyes. He looks bad.

Then Harrington goes a little green around the gills and looks like he's forcing himself to swallow down vomit and Eddie's done watching the sad display. "Hey, Miss Click, I think Harrington's gonna lose his breakfast all over the back of Thompson if he doesn't get outta here soon."

Miss Click looks like she's gonna give him detention again but then she looks at Harrington and must agree with his assessment. "Help him to the nurses office, Eddie."

Normally Eddie would argue but Harrington is also looking at him now and he really wants to know what happened so instead of arguing, he stands. Harrington does, too, grabbing his bag from the floor and shuffling towards the door.

The halls are empty and Steve makes it maybe ten feet down the hall before he falls against the lockers, shutting his eyes tightly.

"Come on, Harrington," Eddie grabs his backpack from him and shoulders it, then pulls one of Harrington's arms around him. "Just keep your eyes closed. I won't walk you into any walls."

"Thanks."

It's so quiet, Eddie's not sure he was even meant to hear it. They walk in silence a bit more before Eddie asks, "so, what happened?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, sure. Nothing causes this all the time."

"What'd'ya care."

Fair. That's fair. He shut Harrington down quickly at the beginning of the year. And Eddie's had plenty of time to concede it might have been the wrong thing to do. Harrington really wasn't setting him up to be a joke, or a punching bag, because if he had been, Eddie would have been jumped by now. Especially since it's fairly common knowledge that Harrington has fallen from grace, replaced by Billy Hargrove. A whole asshole and a half, that one.

They're silent all the way to nurse and even after Harrington vanishes behind the door, Eddie loiters in the hall. He doesn't care about getting back to class. Whatever is happening with Harrington is so much more important.

Another period later and Harrington is shoving himself through the door, even as the nurse protests behind him.

"I'll be fine, really. I'm sure my mom's not answering because she's not near the phone. There's no need to worry," Harrington catches sight of Eddie then. He looks surprised, but says to the nurse, "Eddie here will drive me home. I promise I won't be driving with a concussion."

She looks past Harrington to Eddie and he finds himself nodding frantically. The nurse, not paid enough to argue with teenagers, nods back and Harrington escapes back into the hall without argument.

"You need a ride?"

"I can drive myself."

"Absolutely not. You just said you were concussed."

Harrington looks like he wants to argue more but before he can, he folds a bit into himself, hands pressing into eyes again.

"Look, I owe you anyway, alright. Let me repay."

There's a long silence, then, "okay."

Eddie walks into Gareth's third period class and deposits the keys to his van to him with instructions to pick him up from Harrington's after school (Jeff is his best friend, but Gareth is the safer driver) before helping Harrington limp his way to his own car, where he hands over his keys very forlornly and climbs into his car. Eddie takes the driver's seat and they're off.

"You gonna give me directions, Harrington?"

"You've been to my house before."

This is true. He just didn't know Harrington remembered that. Hagan had invited Eddie to deal there, once; Harrington himself, twice. He didn't know Harrington had even remembered he was there. "Didn't know you remembered that."

"You've been to my house four times."

"Three."

Harrington lull his head to the side to squint (is he trying to glare?) at Eddie. "Four."

Four? Eddie didn't remember- oh. Harrington's ninth birthday party. Eddie was invited, one of the few who hadn't been in Harrington's class to get an invitation. He was in fifth grade, Harrington in fourth. It was shortly after Wayne had brought him to Hawkins.

"Your birthday party. Why'd you even invite me to that?"

Harrington doesn't answer.

-

"I thought you said your mom was home," Eddie says as he follows Harrington into his house.

"I lied."

"Clearly," Eddie says, looking around as he continues to follow Harrington upstairs.

Harrington just allows it, which Eddie wants to question but won't because he's working out how to apologize for the first day of school without apologizing.

"If you're here alone, who's waking you up to make sure you aren't dead?"

"No one. And clearly, I am not dead."

"Someone's supposed to wake you every few hours, right?"

Harrington shrugs. "Don't need anyone to. Why, were you gonna offer?"

Was he? No. Maybe. He follows him all the way to his plaid hellscape of a room, watches as Harrington flicks on his light, then tries to block the sunlight with his sad curtains and gives up quickly, opting to toe himself out of his shoes and crawl under his covers instead.

It's fucking pathetic.

Eddie leaves Harrington's room to start opening and closing doors around the upstairs. Rich people always have a- yes! A linen closet. Eddie pulls out the darkest towels and heads back to Harrington's room.

"You got tacks or nails or safety pins?"

Harrington pokes his head out from beneath his covers, squinting at Eddie. "Tacks in the cup on the dresser." then he disappears again. Quite an awfully lot of freedom Harrington seems to be giving him. He could be snooping through things.

He doesn't, though (yet). He uses almost all of the tacks to get the towels to stay up, but no sunlight breaches them when he's done. Then he turns off the light and closes the door, leaving it open just a crack, before sitting himself on the edge of Harrington's bed.

"I owe you an apology, Harrington," Eddie finds himself saying. Fuck. He was trying to do this without having to actually do it. Too late now.

"Oh," he hears in the near darkness Harrington's surprise, feels shuffling as Harrington must be moving to look at him. "Erm, why do you think you owe me an apology."

"For the first day of school. I thought- I thought it was a prank. Or a joke. A cruel one."

Eddie turns to see Harrington peering at him, just his nose and up visible, hair a static ruffled mess, the comforter held in place by one hand. "It wasn't."

"I know that now," Eddie whispers, picking at a loose thread on the comforter. "I just- I'm sorry. I did want you to sit."

Silence. Then, "I get it, Eddie. I wouldn't trust me either."

"I said I trusted you, that night," Eddie says, "and I did. I do? I think... I didn't trust myself, I think, enough to believe that you were truly being genuine with me. I was shitty to you. So, I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted," Harrington says, "I'm gonna go to sleep now, my head is killing me. If you're hungry help yourself to whatever you can find in the kitchen. You're missing lunch period."

"You gonna sleep in your jeans?"

"Too much work to remove 'em," Harrington mumbles.

"Undo your belt and jeans."

"How forward," Harrington has an eyebrow raised.

"Just do it, ya tool," Eddie says with more bravado than he feels. He slides off the bed and watches the comforter shift as Harrington does as he's told. Eddie rounds to the end of the bed, pulling up the comforter and reaching under blind, finding Harrington's legs and trailing up to his knees to grasp of the jeans. "For your modesty. Lift your hips." Harrington does, and Eddie pulls. Harrington drops his hips back down once the jeans are near his knees, lifting his legs slightly instead, allowing Eddie to pull them off and drop them on the floor at the end of the bed. "Alright, sleep it off, Harrington."

Eddie leaves him to wander to the kitchen because he is hungry and missing lunch, and this free food is going to be infinitely better than whatever the cafeteria was offering simply because it's free.

The fridge has some leftovers in it, so Eddie helps himself to leftover chicken and mashed potatoes. He eats it standing in the kitchen.

Once done, he explores Castle Harrington. A big kitchen leads to a dining room, which rounds to a large living room with a wall of windows that lookout to the pool. Eddie's familiar with the backyard, where he'd station up and wait for people to buy. There's a little hall that leads from the living room to the stairs and front door, with another hall alone the middle of the wall there. It leads to a bathroom and a rec room, complete with pool table (fucking rich people) and another door farther still. It's locked but Eddie's a snoop, so he flips the latch and opens. It's an empty garage.

Eddie ends up removing his shoes, denim vest, and leather jacket, flopping down on Harrington's couch to channel surf, though his eyes keep flicking down to his watch. At the one-hour mark he sneaks back up to Harrington's room and looks for signs of life. Easy enough, Harrington snores.

He checks each hour. Eventually Gareth shows up, signaling his arrival with three sharp jabs to the horn of Eddie's van. Eddie heads out without putting anything back on.

"I'm staying. Harrington is not- it's not good, dude," Eddie says. "Looks like he got beat worse than I did when took a chance behind The Hideout."

Gareth's eyes go wide. Eddie'd gotten beaten for being gay (a busted lip and bruised ribs; would have been worse if the owner of The Hideout hadn't been stepping out back to smoke and ended up chasing away Eddie's assailant). "What happened?"

Eddie shrugs. "Don't know. But I gotta find out. I think he was being genuine with us, on the first day of school. I feel like I have to make sure he's okay."

Jeff leans forward to peer around Gareth from the passenger seat. "You feeling guilty, Munson?"

This is a conversation they've had several times. One Eddie never wins. "Well, yeah. If I'd let him be our friend, he might not have been wherever he was when he got the shit beat out of him. Might have been watching us at band practice or something instead."

Gareth makes a gagging noise. "Ew. You've got it so bad for Harrington. Polos? That's what gets you hot and bothered?"

Eddie feels his face go red. "Fuck off."

"Don't fuck up this time, Eddie," Jeff says before sitting back out of view.

"Call if you need a ride to school tomorrow," Gareth says before reversing out of Harrington's driveway.

Eddie waits until Harrington's gotten a full eight hours (most of which he spends snooping about the place) before going to wake him up. "Hey, you gotta get some food in you, I think. Up, up."

Harrington groans, but it sounds more annoyed than pained.

"Up, up, up, up," Eddie repeats, swatting lightly at Harrington's legs, occasionally grabbing to jiggle a leg.

"'m up. I'm up," Harrington says, sounding more like himself than he has all day. "Have you always been this annoying?"

"Call it the Munson Charm."

"Charm," Harrington repeats flatly.

"I already ate your mashed potatoes, so I'm hoping you're not wanting those for dinner. Lunch? Whatever."

Harrington throws the covers off, standing before Eddie in a polo shirt and plaid boxers. "Hey, Eddie. It's still daytime out there, yeah?"

"Yeah, didn't miss it."

"Cool, cool. Can I kiss you?"

Eddie freezes, remembering that's what he'd told Harrington to do. Ask him in the daylight. He does still want to kiss Harrington, but also, he's afraid. "First you ask drunk. Now you ask concussed. Still a no, buddy. It's gotta be daylight and without anything that could be messing with your mind."

Harrington takes the rejection well, just nods an okay and motions towards his door for Eddie to lead the way to the kitchen.

Harrington opts for a TV dinner, offering one to Eddie. He accepts, because, again, free food. Then they eat them at the dinner table like it's a real meal, instead of off of TV trays in the living room like normal people.

And the odd thing about it all is how not odd all of it is, actually. The last time they were alone together, Eddie ravished his neck like a goddamn vampire. And now they're just hanging out, chatting ideally like it's a thing they do all the time.

Eddie can see why Harrington became popular so quickly. He's easy to like when he's like this, soft spoken and kind. Eddie finds he wants to know if the guy sitting across from him is the real Harrington, or an act. Or was King Harrington the act? Eddie really hasn't known him enough to say that but he's seen this house. Conformity seems important to the Harringtons.

"You looked like you could use something to cheer you up," Harrington says, out of left field.

"What?"

"It's why I invited you to my ninth birthday. You'd just transferred to our school. Looked so sad all the time. Eight-year-old me hadn't experienced a sad birthday party, so I thought it would cheer you up."

Oh. "That's-" what is that? Sweet? Considerate in a way Eddie didn't think young Harrington possible of? "It worked. Your party was fun."

Harrington smiles at him, a soft and shy thing that makes the butterflies erupt in his stomach again. "Well, thanks for watching over me today. Made it easier to sleep, having someone else in the house."

"Anytime."

"You mean that?"

Does he? Eddie can't promise even himself that it will always be true, that he does really mean anytime, but it's true right now so he says, "yeah, man."

-

Being friends with Steve Harrington is so much easier than Eddie thought it could be.

Steve -because he's Steve now, not Harrington- doesn't come back to school the rest of the week, but he makes Eddie go, asking if he can gather his homework from his classes so he won't fall behind. And school has never been a real priority for Eddie (it is his second senior year) but hanging out with Steve has become important.

Jeff, Gareth, and Brian even come over on Saturday evening, at Steve's insistence. He wants to be their friend, too, it seems. And what an odd thing to see, his friends and Steve lounging around his rec room, Brian beating all of them at pool so easily it should be humiliating. Steve chats with them all like it's easy, normal, a thing he enjoys doing.

He can see his friends keeping the topics safe, music, high school gossip, they even start to discuss their grades. Eddie is mostly listening because he's been chatting with Steve all week, so he can see his friends are steering clear of anything other. They don't bring up anything Steve wouldn't talk to other jocks about.

Leave it to Steve to throw them for a loop. "Hey, you guys are all in Hellfire, right?"

The room screeches to a stop, all eyes going to Steve. He's not sure what's showing on his own face, but he can see all his friend's faces. They look surprised.

"Yeah," Jeff finds his voice first. "We're the only members."

Steve nods, "right. You play Dungeons and Dragons?"

"You know what Dungeons and Dragons is?" Brian asks.

"Yeah," Steve shrugs, fiddling with the beer can in his hands, "I know that, it's like -Hellfire, that is-, a high school club but- oh, this is gonna sound bad. I can tell already."

Eddie raises an eyebrow, curious, "just say it, Harrington. If we don't like it, there's four of us and one of you. We'll give you a swirlee in your own damn toilet."

Steve laughs and that seems to be all the push he needed because he relaxes, setting the beer down on a coaster, "I know some super cool kids who'll be freshman next year. I think they'd really want to be in your club. But, uh, since Eddie and I will be graduating this year, I was wondering if you'd want to move your game from the school to here? So they can join in."

Eddie's brain shuts off. Steve knows some cool middle schoolers, who play Dungeons and Dragons, and thinks the should all come to Steve's house to do that. Play DnD together. (Steve also believes he's going to graduate this year, ha!)

"I'm sorry," Jeff says, laughter in his voice, "there's no such things as cool middle schoolers."

Steve frowns slightly, "well, these will be the first, then. They've got their own DM, his name's Will, but I think he could learn a lot from Eddie. And Dustin loves this game so much. But if they wait until next year to officially join the club, Eddie won't be there."

Steve knows that Eddie is the DM. Steve knows what a DM is. (Steve really believes he's going to graduate this year?). "How- what? How do you even know about Hellfire? Or that I'm the DM?"

"I go to school with you guys," Steve says, "I know I'm an asshole but I'm not oblivious. Just because I didn't acknowledge the existence of your club before now doesn't mean I was unaware of it."

Fair point.

"Alright. Let's have our next club meeting here instead of the school. You can bring these cool middle schoolers and we'll see. If they're just lame middle schoolers, we're going to be very disappointed."

"Great! You meet Thursdays, right? They'll be here."

-

Monday is the real test. Eddie's feeling some kind of way about Monday. It's lunch, and everyone is already at their usual tables except Steve, who hasn't arrived yet.

Jeff catches his eye and Eddie can see he's thinking the same thing. It was easy to be friends with Eddie 'The Freak' Munson behind closed doors and in front of people already his friend. But if Steve actually comes through those doors and sits at their table, he'll be a target. Fully and officially.

Of course, Eddie catches sight of Steve as soon as he does come in, sack lunch in hand. He watches as Steve doesn't even hesitate. He weaves his way around other teens and plops down at their table, into the space left available for him between Eddie and Gareth. Watches as Steve beams at him before pulling a fucking pb&j out of his stupid brown sack.

Eddie can hear the murmuring around them, catches Steve's name and his own, knows that they've all been noticed today. The outcome of what will happen because of this, unknown.

Eddie doesn't like the unknown.

He might be willing to face it, though, if Steve keeps smiling at him.

-

The week passes. No one says anything to him. Steve sits at their table every day.

Thursday comes and he gets to meet some pretty cool middle schoolers, though unexpected ones. Will, the DM, turns out to be Will Byers, who was dead and then not dead and also the little brother of the guy who beat Steve up and stole his girlfriend (what the hell sparked this kids friendship with Steve?). Mike Wheeler, little brother of said ex-girlfriend. Lucas Sinclair and Dustin Henderson are the last two. Eddie has never heard of these two, and therefore doesn't have any opinions just yet.

The kids know their stuff but they don't end up playing. Character creation takes some time, and Eddie's gotta think about how to incorporate four new characters (he was expecting one lame middle schooler, even though Steve had used the plural of kid every time he talked about them).

Before they all head out, Steve asks to talk to Eddie.

"Hey, I just- if the kids get into other after school activities, would you be okay with moving the date of the club meeting? My house is available every day, not just school days."

What an odd request. "I guess? Why?"

Steve shrugs (but it's a shrug Eddie has come to know doesn't mean 'I don't know' and means something closer to 'I have a perfectly valid explanation for this but don't know how to put it into words so it's easier to say I don't know') and says, "some school activities can't be rescheduled. It's be kinda shitty to make them miss this by forcing them to chose."

"There's a story there. I want to know it."

Steve looks at him, open in a way that Eddie hasn't experienced. "I want to tell you. But I'm not ready for that. Not yet. Now, go home and do your damn homework. I gotta drop these kids off."

-

December 21st, 1984 - Christmas Break

"I can't believe you did Dustin's hair for their Snowball dance," Eddie says as they watch Jeff, Gareth, Brian, Mike, Will, Lucas, and Dustin pile into Eddie's van after a rare, afternoon meeting of Hellfire. Gareth offered to take everyone home (maybe Eddie had to beg him to do it so he could stay and bother Steve, but that's between him and Gareth).

"He deserves a good older role model. I try to be that person," Steve says, and before Eddie can mock him for being egotistical, he continues, "that's why I wanted them to meet you, I guess, back in November. Dustin deserves a role model who understands the things he likes. Dustin needs you."

Eddie doesn't know what to say to that, so he just walks to the living room, grabbing the remote and settling in on the couch. Steve joins him shortly, sitting next to him rather than at the other end of the couch.

"You finish your homework?"

"Oh my god, mom," Eddie rolls his whole head dramatically, "no. I'll get it done eventually."

"Eddie," Steve says, sounding serious. Eddie turns to him, and Steve reaches out, grabbing one of Eddies hands, slotting their fingers together and Eddie feels those damn butterflies he's so used to these days. "I want to graduate with you. We can have a joint graduation party here. But that can't happen if you don't do your homework."

Eddie looks at Steve, feeling more seen than he's ever been in his life. His hand clutches back at Steve's. "Yeah. Okay. I'll graduate with you. Class of '85."

"Joint party?"

This is Eddie's chance to ask the question he's been itching to ask. "Your parent's won't mind you sharing with the resident freak?"

"My parents won't be here. They send me a card with a letter to take to their local accountant, who will arrange for a graduation cake to be delivered on a date of my choosing and give me money to host whatever kinda party I want. And what I want, is a joint party."

"You sound so sure of that."

"I am," Steve says, looking away to stare towards the TV, "I know the exact date they'll be in town between now and April 1986."

The fact Steve says 'date' and not 'dates' is not lost on Eddie. "When's that?"

"May 28th, 1985."

Eddie studies the side of his face, looking for any hint of a joke. "How do you know that?"

"Would you believe me if I said it's because I'm actually twenty-one, and have already lived through these events, and by some miracle was sent back into the body of my 17-year-old self to try and stop something terrible from happening?"

Eddie hits him with a throw pillow. He'll get the truth out of him one day.

-

May 3rd, 1985

Eddie graduates with Steve. It was fucking hell making it happen, but Steve recruited Nancy Wheeler to help tutor them both. (Eddie thought he'd be jealous, but Steve really isn't into Nancy anymore. They'd chat, he'd ask about Jonathan even, but most importantly, he'd always sat closer to Eddie than Nancy).

All of Hellfire is invited to their graduation party, his Uncle Wayne, too, along with the entire Byer's family, Chief Hopper and his daughter, Max Mayfield, and Robin Buckley. Most of these people aren't a surprise to Eddie by the time the party comes around but meeting them and learning that Steve considers this odd group of people his family was a surreal thing when it was happening.

(The real surprise person is Robin Buckley, who Steve had tried to befriend briefly during January but quickly backed out of doing that when he saw how weirded out it made Buckley. Buckley does not show to their joint graduation party but everyone else does.)

Steve and his uncle get along well and it makes some deep part of Eddie warm and fuzzy. Wayne was initially distrustful of Steve (rightfully so, given Eddie's history with jocks, and that he might have complained, loudly and often, about Steve to his uncle before. Hard to backtrack that.)

But Steve had shown up one day, asking to speak to Wayne instead of Eddie. Wayne had said yes, and then they both climbed into Wayne's pickup and went God knows where because Wayne and Eddie both know if they'd stayed on the property, Eddie would have done his best to eavesdrop.

Upon return, Steve had given Wayne a hug, hopped in his own car, and left.

Neither will tell him what they talked about, the jerks.

But all that to say, they're here, the sliding-glass door that leads to Steve's backyard wide open as people freely move from the inside to the outside and back. His friends, Steve's friends, their friends mingling easily. Hopper and Wayne chat, Jonathan and Gareth are hucking kids into the pool (at their request), Nancy is talking with Jeff and Brian, and Steve is standing at Eddie's side, holding a plate and eating cake (chocolate with raspberry filling, Eddie's favorite).

Steve spends a lot his time at Eddie's side.

Eddie expected Steve to be tired of him by now. To give up. But he hasn't. Every now and then, he still asks if he can kiss Eddie. And Eddie keeps saying no. Always an excuse, always a reason. It's been fucking with Eddie's head because he doesn't understand how Steve can be so willing, and wanting, to kiss another guy. Especially since the guy he wants to his is Eddie Munson!

Steve doesn't always ask when they're alone. He's asked when other people at this party are around, but always too quiet to be heard, like he's protecting Eddie's secret but doesn't care if people know his own. A little part of Eddie was mad at him about it; Steve's never been beaten up for being queer which probably makes it easier to be open about it.

In fact, Steve had asked him just this morning as they put their graduation gowns on over their regular clothes in the school parking lot.

"Eddie, can I kiss you?"

"No. Why are you so eager to get beat up?"

"I'm not scared of these people, Eds," Steve says with that damn shrug.

"You should be! This town'll try and kill you for being a fag," Eddie spits out, memories of Hagan, Jackson, Hargrove, the man from The Hideout, all come back to him.

"I've seen Hell, and I'm not afraid of a single person in this town," Steve says, voice cold and Eddie used to doubt that, but they've been friends for months now and Eddie's seen the nail bat he keeps in the trunk of his car, and been there when Steve's woken up screaming. Steve doesn't talk about it and Eddie hasn't pushed but this is- hearing this is the most direct Steve's ever been about it. Whatever the fuck it was.

"Tell me about it," Eddie finds himself say. "You've seen Hell?"

This brings Steve back to himself it seems, because he looks shocked by Eddie's words even though Steve said them first. "Not today. Today, we graduate!"

So, they've graduated, they've partied, and now, Eddie has questions.

"Hey, Steve, follow me," Eddie says and heads back into the house. He doesn't look back, doesn't need to to know Steve is following. He goes up the stairs and into Steve's room, waiting for Steve to enter before closing the door behind him.

"Want to get me alone, Munson?" Steve asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yeah. I want to know about Hell."

Steve drops onto the edge of his bed like a stone. He can see the war going on in Steve's head. He can wait this out. He leans back against the door, a confirmation for Steve that he's not going to give up on this easy.

"Eds, you didn't believe me before. I don't- I don't want to lose you if you don't believe me again."

Again? Eddie would have remembered if Steve had told him anything about Hell. "Trust me, then. Trust that I'm not going to leave just because I don't believe what you say."

"Okay," Steve says. "You asked, back in December, how I knew when I'd be seeing my parents again. Remember?"

Eddie thinks before wrinkling his nose and saying, "Yeah. Time travel."

"Yeah. Like Back to the Future but- shit. That's not out yet. But yeah, time travel. Sorta? I don't know. Maybe I didn't travel through time and instead just had a vision of the future. Or a prophetic dream. Or whatever."

Eddie is less leaning against the door, and more using it for support now. "The fuck, Harrington? You weren't joking about that? You really believe that?"

"Yeah. And I got a majority of the people in my backyard to believe me, so I'm hoping I can convince you, too. And if-if I lose you. If you think I'm crazy, or a liar, or whatever, it's better that I lose you this way than-" Steve cuts himself off, a choked sob following those words. Never, not once, has Eddie seen Steve cry, but he's seeing it now. Crying, over the mere thought of losing Eddie. Because Eddie isn't gone, he's here in this room with Steve, and still Steve cries.

"Hey, hey, shh," Eddie shoves off the door to drop to his knees before him, hands going up to cup his face. "I'm here. You're not losing me because I'm here."

Steve nods, cheeks rubbing against Eddie's palms before Steve's hands come up to grip loosely at Eddie's wrists, Steve leaning in to rest his forehead against Eddie's. He takes a shaky breath in before he speaks. "I've already changed the future. In that other timeline, the bad one, you didn't graduate this year. You don't meet Dustin or Mike or Lucas until next year. I'm so fucking jealous of you because I think Dustin like you better than me because you understand the things he likes and I don't. You never got to meet Will, the Byers' had already moved to California by the time the kids are Freshman."

Eddie stays quiet, waits, closes his own eyes to just hear Steve.

"There's another world, Dustin says it's another dimension. I don't know enough about how it all works but we call it the Upside Down. There are monster there, the Demogorgon and Demodogs, and later, Demobats and Vecna."

"Vecna and Demogorgon at from Dungeons and Dragons."

"I know. These things had no name until we had to fight them. The kids named the Demogorgon. You and Dustin name Vecna. Now shush."

Eddie nods against Steve's forehead and listens to the impossible. Will being stuck in the Upside Down, a girl with superpowers, how Steve got involved, that Steve returned to a body that had fought the Demogorgon but the Demodogs hadn't happened yet. That he and Nancy break up because Steve knows both their hearts belong to others (Eddie's insides twist because he's sure that Steve is hinting that his heart belongs to Eddie but that's for later in the story).

Steve talks about going to Carol Perkins' party because he'd heard Eddie was going to be there. He doesn't know how the events go before this timeline because Steve hadn't gone to that party last timeline. He'd been with Nancy still, then.

He talks about how Hopper was the first person he told about the timeline change, because if anyone could prove he was telling the truth, it was El. Hopper hadn't believed him but it had built enough of a trust that Hopper was willing to let them go at the party.

He talks about the events that led to the concussion he'd got, that sparked their friendship fully. How he'd gotten it protecting those kids from Billy Hargrove. Burning down a pumpkin patch.

"You said you were twenty-one," Eddie says, when Steve stops talking. "That would make the year 1986? '87?. What happens next?"

Steve shakes his head. "I can't- there are things I can't say. Can't talk about yet because if I change the timeline too much, Vecna could win. And I can't-he cannot-I-"

"Shh, shhh," Eddie soothes, "no, you don't have to tell me. Thank you, for sharing this with me. I do... I have a question."

"Mmm?"

"How do I play into this. Why did you decide to be my friend now?"

"To change the future. In March of '86, you get- the Upside Down shit effects your life, too. We trauma bond and- I realized that I wish I had known you better. Sooner. We had one week together and honestly, I spent most of it pining after my ex. It took a while, but I realized I will always love Nance, but I wasn't in love with her. But that realization came after it was too late for us-" Steve cuts off, sobbing.

Eddie doesn't know what happened. Isn't sure he wants to. That's a timeline that's already lost forever. For it to come true, it requires him to be in high school and he's not. "Hey, it's okay. We're okay. We're going to stay okay."

They stay there, close, until Steve is calm again and ready to rejoin the party.

"Hey. Any chance I can see El move something with her mind?"

"Yeah. Gonna have to wait until your side of the family leaves, though. It's still fragile, who knows and who doesn't."

His side of the family. Like- Eddie cannot think on that too long or he's going to combust. "Can't wait to see."

Eddie does get to see. Steve pulls El aside as the party winds down and whispers in her ear. A little while later, while Eddie is the only one outside for his smoke break, his cigarette gets pulled from his mouth and flung into the pool. He jumps, because Jesus Christ, but a quick look towards the house shows him Steve, arms crossed and smiling, with El, arm extended towards Eddie still.

He can't find himself to be mad about the cigarette when El smiles at him.

-

Steve is already cooking breakfast when Eddie emerges from the guest room the morning after graduation. He'd been invited to share Steve's bed (just to sleep, Steve had sworn) but Eddie had to decline because he wasn't sure he could trust himself.

"Morning," Eddie says, draping himself boldly against Steve's back to look over his shoulder as he fries up hashbrowns. Steve doesn't even hesitate to lean back against Eddie.

"Morning."

"Put that down and turn around for a moment," Eddie steps back and Steve obeys, setting the wooden spoon he'd been pushing hashbrowns around with down, turning to lean himself against the counter rather than stay in front of the stove.

"What's up?"

"Just wanted to report that I am suffering no hang over effects. You?"

"None," Steve says, raising a questioning eyebrow.

"Good, good. Didn't fall out of bed and concuss myself either. Same for you I assume?"

"Same."

Eddie thinks Steve is starting to understand, if the little surprised face he does is anything to go by. "And I can't help but notice the daylight out that window. You see the daylight?"

Steve gives him a lopsided grin. "I do see it. Eddie, can I kiss you?"

"Yes."

They meet in the middle. For a kiss that's been a long time coming, it's so gentle. Steve cups his face like he's made of glass and Eddie should be annoyed by that but he's not. It just makes him feel safe.

Feel loved.

They break for air but don't go far from each other.

"I don't know what the future holds, unlike you," Eddie says, because he's a cheeky boy, "but I do know that no matter what it brings I'm here. You can't get rid of me now."

Steve looks conflicted, "not even if I asked you to go? For your safety? Even if it's to save you?"

Eddie shakes his head. "Babe, you've already saved me. You've already changed the course of my life." He clocks the way Steve's eyes darken when he calls him babe. "I'm gonna make sure I've changed yours for the better, too."

Steve hauls him back in by his shoulders. They kiss and kiss and kiss until the smell of burning hashbrowns ruins the mood.

Eddie doesn't know what horrors await (no one but Steve does) but they'll face those together.

[idc-i-just-want-pokemon]

So i've been hyperfixating on ut aus again and reading @signanothername posts have been scratching that itch for the murder time trio and nightmare so

I did a thing.

I've been working on Cally in different AUs so I decided, fuck it, imma put my shitty fc in with the edgiest boys in the ut multiverse.

Basic rundown is the gang attack a timeline with a Cally in it, Horror sees them and because horror came from a timeline with a Cally he tries to act all cool and like he's their Sans. When Cally starts to notice the red eye, the axe, the kinda more mean spirited humour and the crack in the skull Horror hears his coworkers and is like "welp". So he throws Cally over his shoulder and decides the safest place they are is with him, he takes Cally all the way back to the meet up spot and all the while Cally sees people they know running in the opposite direction not being able to see what they're running from but knowing they are heading towards it with someone who is now a stranger to them forcing them towards it. yada yada everyone meets up and is like "tf" when they see Cally and Horror is all "hey they cant do nothin so no problem right? I want a hampter" Nightmare gets briefly pissy but seeing that Dust and Horror clearly have an attachment to the anomaly he like "wow blackmail? sweet" so he says fuck it and allows them to be taken back. So they do and Cally is shitting themselves as they do because they didn't even know Aus exist let alone that there were sanses who could teleport and have tentacles and they're still kinda hung up on the big crack in the head like didn't he have 1 HP how the fuck is he? why the fuck is he? When the fuck is he? when the fuck are they? Are they in a castle? Why a castle? What Sans would be so self involved to even want to have a fucking castle?

But yeah shit happens and Horror tries to take care of Cally when he's there but he is Horror so that basically amounts to letting Cally lean their head on his shoulder and making sure they're fed, Dust tries to avoid Cally and never looks them in the eyes, Killer is intrigued with Cally's relationships with the other Sans' but he figures Cally out as a person pretty quickly and gets bored with them, And when all the others aren't around visiting their AUs Nightmare uses Cally as either a punching bag for fun or basically a pet cat depending on the point in the story, when it comes to the others being around Nightmare will withhold Cally as punishment keeping Cally locked in a room on their own and not letting Horror or Dust know if their dead or alive. When Nightmare is feeling particularly bitchy or upset he'll fuck with Cally by saying shit like they specifically targeted their au for them or that everyone in their timeline doesn't even care anymore that they're gone and are even much happier or even that they aren't the first Cally they've done this to and if they jump out of that window right now then they'll just go to another Cally au and do the exact same thing they did to their timeline again.

Of course they're still the first, Nightmare doesn't care enough about the leverage it gives him over Horror and Dust to go out of his way to get another one if they die, besides it's a lot easier to keep feeding them Oran berries when they get down to 1 hp. He just likes to watch the little spark of indignation in their face die at the thought of being responsible for copies of their loved ones being hurt or killed because of them and their disposition become lifeless as they realise they're never getting out of there, never getting away from him.

SO YEAH THAT'S LIKE MY SHITTY BRAIN BARF HOPE YOU ATLEAST SEMI ENJOYED READING IT??

[m4gp13]

Okay time to talk about Al's hero complex and Ethan's martyr complex more in-depth because I love it so much <3

Al's hero complex is pretty obvious. He thinks he's Katniss Everdeen fighting a valiant battle against the Capitol because no one told him he's not the main character. He sees himself and those who agree with him as the Heroes (tm) while any who oppose them are the Villains of Unrivalled Evil because obviously his people wouldn't be fighting them if they were anything less. Al definitely has the overwhelming optimistic approach of a heroic paragon who believes it's impossible for him to fail because he's the good guy and good guys always win (Ladies, Gentlemen and Assorted Genders I would now like to direct your attention to "heroes never die, right?"). Which is how he ended up getting the remainder of his army massacred because he wouldn't accept defeat and pushed them on for a last-ditch attempt at victory. He's willing to sacrifice his people for the greater good, and in this way he and Percy are like the inverse of "Villains will sacrifice the world to save their loved ones, heroes will sacrifice their loved ones to save the world."

Al was the most powerful child of Hecate and as such was chosen to lead the rest of her children into battle. For such a young guy, this probably gave him a sense of grandeur, importance and self-respect which translates well into him seeing himself as the hero of his story. He had Luke and his propaganda to look up to, Mt Othrys to run things from and the Princess Andromeda to help things along, as well as a swarm of younger demigods who saw him as a hero. Now I'm not saying it all got to his head but that is pretty much what I'm saying. There's also Hecate, who is a pretty loving mother all things considered and was helping and supporting Alabaster and her children all the way through the war. With her encouragement exacerbating Al's self-righteousness instead of giving him a reality check, his hero complex could only grow until it made the Al we see in Son of Magic. He has lost everything and has never been in a worse place but he is still so sure of himself and his own moral superiority.

Ethan's martyr complex is a little more subtle but it's there if you're looking. My guy sacrificed his eye to his mother and was A-Okay with the arrangement. He was asked, from a very young age, to go through a lot of short-term physical pain with the result of a long-term disability in order to make a change in the world, which he agreed to. So he already doesn't think too highly of himself which is a great start! His mother uses him as a vehicle for her goals and he is aware of this and consenting to it. He has already relegated his own life as a tool for someone else. And then there's the arena battle in the labyrinth where he was very quick to offer Percy his own head on a platter. He was thinking very pragmatically at the time. He didn't seem to care much about "holy shit I'm going to die" and was instead just thinking "If he kills me then I die but if he spares me then we'll both die 2-1=1 so if we go with the first option then that will be one less death" HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK. His own life is something he can step back from, view in the context of the bigger picture and figure out how detrimental the loss of it would be to everything else going on around him. And then to further prove my point the last thing he ever does in the series is actually martyr himself to stop Kronos from ruining his mother's plans. Way to make it easier for me buddy.

As for how he ended up like this, his mother is fucking Nemesis. A hero complex and a martyr complex run antiparallel to each other with the key difference being that a hero will do whatever it takes to succeed while a martyr is all too happy to throw their life away for The Cause. In the eyes of a young child desperate to please his mother who is known for harshly punishing the prideful and arrogant of the world, being a hero who desires personal success and glory would be far too egotistical, and in order to be a hero his mother would approve of, he must be entirely selfless about it. She would despise anything else.

[thesimpsbasement]

Hello! May I request Vil, Kalim, Malleus and Azul with a male! s/o who’s like Sherlock Holmes or William Moriarty? As in reader is very intelligent and stuff

Hello anon and sure! I sorta alternated between the 2 cuz didn't know how to incorporate both but I hope this is to your liking!

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Characters: Vil Schoenheit, Kalim Al Asim,Malleus Draconia,Azul Ashengrotto

Author:Mod Betty

Warnings/tags: slight spoilers for book 3,5 ( mainly spoilers on book 5) ,not proofreaded yet

Reader is male

Word count:1,300 words 

_____________________________

-The first time he noticed your high intelligence was when you actually memorized every item for the skin routine he recommended you

-It took Epel forever to memorize them all and still forgets some

-During VDC he knew you'd be problem because he knew you'd probably see right through his plan and his concerns were correct as you were the one to inform Jamil way before he himself noticed Vil's odd behaviors

-Vil does care a lot about things being perfect, one minute mistake could end in a catastrophe

-You agree with Vil on that but sometimes you rather study than do a self care routine, maybe on your breaks you could add a couple products but not enough to meet Vil's standards

-Vil did admire your determined to adapt to this strange world by learning about it as much as possible, but what he doesn't admire is your lack of self care

-Sometimes he drags you out of your room to do a proper self care regiment

-Like the one you are currently doing

-" For someone who's such a genius you can be quite a forgetful potato" Vil says as he rubs some sort of cream on your face

"Apologies by I can't help but simply indulge of the common things in thought world taht would be deemed impossible in mine" you replied hoping to somewhat justifying your actions every though you knew it wouldn't

" I understand your excitement but you do need to take proper care of yourself,you may deem this unnecessary but I disagree completely and as your lover I'm even more complied to do this" he retorted continuing to apply product to your face

"Oh how lucky i am to have someone to spoil me like this, I'm moved" you tease,smile on your face

" The real lucky one is me to have a brilliant and sometimes forgetful boyfriend like yourself "

-When he found out about your intelligence he was in awe

-you were so cool and not mean like Riddle and you were easier to approach Unlike Malleus

-Jamil is wary of you for a good while knowing how easily Kalim is influenced but you weren't heartless to use someone's kindness

-Kalim is the type to brag about you like " Look how smart my boyfriend is so if you ever need help go ask him!"

-And he wasn't lying,ever since hanging out with(and dating) you he's been improving in his academics and would always would go to you if he needed assistance, saving Jamil from extra work( which he thanks you for)

-Being in a new world made everything surprise you but also defied the logic of your own world so when Kalim offered you a ride on a magic carpet you were skeptical

-I mean a carpet couldn't hold the weight of well anything so it being able to carry 2 people is already taboo and also how can you control it's direction and spee-

-Before you could finish your train of thoughts and how the pure concept contradicts basic physics Kalim pulled your arm and seated you on the carpet

-The first minute you were nervous as hell,who could blame you, you were literally flying on a carpet!

-After the initial shock the ride was actually relaxing and fun

-You never thought you'd ever find yourself flying around on a magic carpet flying around but you don't mind it

-Turning to Kalim who was looking at you the whole time to make sure you're enjoying yourself, you put a hand on his cheek before saying "thank you for showing me something I would never have thought of" and pulling him for a kiss

-Kalim was overjoyed knowing he actually managed to 1) surprised you and 2) make you feel happy

-Safe to say there's never a dull moment with Kalim

-He knew you were smart by simply observing how well you performed in class

-A magicless human from a completely different dimension did better than most of the NRC students

-What caught him by surprise was when you knew his true identity almost as soon as you saw him

-What confused him was that you were still referring to him as that silly nickname you came up with

-Even if you're smart and probably have some combat abilities you still couldn't stand a chance

-When confronting you about it all you did was smirk ad say " Don't worry I know a foe when I see one "

-Also good luck having to deal with Sebek since he's suspicious of you and your wits. Who knows maybe you were trying to fool the young master!!

-Would often come by Ramshackle and talk about each other's lives

-He was quite fascinated by your life back home,always solving mysteries and how capable you were in dire situations

-He doesn't necessarily need help in academics especially being the next heir of Briar Valley but would often ask you for help with other stuff ((*cough* technology ))

-For a mere child of man and from a foreign land you have a lot of knowledge to almost rival some fae

-Despite knowing you can handle yourself just fine you're still a fragile human with no magic so he will occasionally loom around the shadows,sometimes your sharp tongue could easily infuriate students from a certain dorm,After all Savanaclaw students don't settle arguments with words,but with their fists but when they pull their magic pens Malleus quickly steps in to stop the fight before you got hurt because of some buffoons

-After the students ran off, you turned to him a smile on your face " I could've handled them myself you know, even if they can use magic they're still brainless" Malleus chuckled " I suppose so however I don't think I'd forgive myself if you did end up hurt" he said sighing

-" How about we go to Ramshackle after class for a cup of tea? My treat" you suggested

-"Anything for you ,my brilliant child of man"

-The first thing he noticed about you was how calm you were when you signed that contract about bringing that painting from the museum, it was almost as if you had a plan already and were confident it'll succeed

-Seeing how brilliant you were and how you could easily make things go your way he actually suggested working in Mostro Lounge

-Would sometimes challenge you to see who's better,be it who'd give a better offer on contracts or who'd finish homework quicker

-During closing hours he'd offer you a cup of tea and discuss whatever topics you thought of

-When dating your counseling started coming into play

-After some time Azul started getting comfort with being vulnerable around you, often pouring his insecurities as he stared at his lap

-" Sometimes I feel like you deserve better" he muttered not making eye contact with you

"Why do you say that love?" You ask him ,serious look on your face

"I mean someone as brilliant as you shouldn't stick around a stupid,fat,clumsy octopus" he said slight irritation in his voice

You sighed as you placed your hands on his shoulders " Azul look at me" ,hesitantly he did as he was told,teary eyes looking right into your

"The fact I'm your boyfriend should be telling you enough that I'm not going anywhere, I don't stick with people that I don't want too, so if I didn't like you I wouldn't be sitting in this very room now would I?" You said trying to comfort your partner without any sort of sugared words but with pure logic

-"Yeah I guess you're right" Azul said wiping his tears

-Smiling you kiss his forehead has you bring him into a hug " so please cease these idiotic thoughts for both our sake ,you know it pains me to see you this upset"

[zaeliaeve]

𝓡𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓼 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓕𝓵𝓪𝓶𝓮 [𝓚.𝓜] 𝟏𝟖+ Chapter 4

DISCLAIMER: NSFW 18+ ONLY! MINORS DNI!

WARNINGS:  Cum kink, unprotected sex, vaginal sex.

-

In life there are two reactions to most situations; fight or flight.

Bianca almost always responded with the latter. It was simply easier to pretend nothing was happening because the moment you do self-reflection you must change, and Bianca didn't want to change yet.

Life for the first time in a long time seemed colorful again. After the death of her father, she wasn't sure when she would feel like herself again but she doesn't even necessarily feel like her old self either. This was a whole new side of life.

Suddenly there was something to look forward to, somebody who always knew the right thing to say and knew how to please her in a way that would put her on a dopamine high that would last all day. Her feelings were only growing stronger with each interaction.

It was purely selfish, but she couldn't stop.

They had to be more careful now after Kylian slept over at her house. Camille has been all over Kylian lately, constantly showing up randomly and calling the office to speak with him. Luckily she hasn't found anything because Kylian made sure to scrub his phone clean.

Even somewhat hinting that Kylian leave Camille would feel too far, after all, he does have a daughter with her and Bianca wouldn't want to ruin the young girl's life; not to mention even hinting at a breakup it could send Kylian running for the hills.

Admittedly, it would be nice to know where Kylian stood on the situation but she could never tell. The Frenchman would never even give a clue on where he stood emotionally and despite her better judgment she was a little curious and wanted to poke around a bit to gauge where he stood, maybe just for the sake of knowing.

Bianca was trying to convince herself that she truly didn't care, that she was just curious; like a cat walking on the edge of a window seal.

What has curiosity ever done to a cat?

"Oi you're in my spot you know?" A deep accented voice says standing directly in front of Bianca's desk, arms crossed.

She snaps her head up from her notebook with pure confusion only to be more confused when she realizes it's someone she's never met before. The unknown man is tall, has smooth full lips, big friendly brown eyes, and a seemingly just-cut faded haircut. 

He is undoubtedly beautiful.

This man seemed young-  too young to work there given almost all staff are past thirty besides Kylian and herself. "I'm sorry are you at the wrong place? Would you like directions?" Bianca asked earnestly, shuffling to her computer and getting ready to pull up Google Maps.

"What you think I couldn't work here?" There's now a grin on his face and his teeth are just as nice as the rest of him.

Bianca scrambled with her words trying to explain herself, somewhat off guard from the fresh face. "Of course you could. I've just never seen you around and now you wanna sit in my seat."

He pointed over to the empty chair on the far right to her with the broken computer that hasn't been used the whole time she's been there. "Actually I wanna sit in that seat" He corrected her before making his way behind the desk.

She didn't stop him, only watching as he placed his leather bag next to the dusty keyboard. "But you said-"

"I was only messing with you."

Bianca blinked unsurely at what was happening.  "I'm sorry who are you?" She finally questioned, her body fully facing him.

The man stuck his hand out and now sat in the previously empty chair.  "I'm Jude. I filled your spot while you were away and Mr. Messi liked me so much that he wanted me to stay here."

Oh, this is the guy Kylian was talking about in the car the other day. He didn't seem boring at all. In fact, quite the opposite.

"I'm Bianca" Their hands linked together, shaking up and down a few times courteously before letting go.

Her eyebrows knitted together. "Wait, I thought you were his assistant?"

Jude rubbed his hands together before he shrugged confidently. "I am, but he said if I could fix up the computer I could have my own space" he explained now turning to face the dead computer in front of him.

This isn't your own space, this is my space.

A heads-up would have been nice for the new change but Bianca wasn't too bothered by it. Slightly irritated yes, but not actually angry about it. Maybe now she would be forced to do her job a bit better, less time to slack off with someone watching her.  Especially someone the CEO seemed to have grown fond of.

Bianca didn't say much else, just went back to her notebook trying to figure out one of the higher-up's appointment schedules so she could find an opening for another client.

There was a silence that lasted about an hour while Jude messed around with the computer trying to pick it apart while Bianca did her own work. They were simply coexisting in the same place.

Jude broke the silent streak first. "I can tell you aren't from around here either" he noted as his hands still tinkered at the machine.

She wasn't sure what he meant or how he meant it, but she decided to go the playful route. "What gave it away?" Her tone was light, glancing at him from the corner of her eye.

"Everyone I've met so far looks like they've seen hell with their own eyes. You look too innocent to be from here."

Bianca laughed to herself. If only he knew.

Jude didn't miss her reaction. "What's funny? Am I wrong?" His head looked left to her.

There was no right way to answer that, so it was probably best to slightly change the subject. "Where are you from?"

His eyes stayed glued to her.  "Stourbridge, England."

Bianca pouted her lower lip out and put a hand on her chest. "My condolences."

"You've been?"

"No, but it doesn't sound pleasant."

Jude's wide smile returned, and his eyes twinkled underneath the fluorescent lights. "What do they even have in your country? Coconuts?" He teased back.

She laughed hardily at that, completely forgetting about the work she was supposed to be doing. "I'll take that over your guys' food options. Beans on toast should be banned, there is no way people actually enjoy that."

Both of their chairs turned to face each other. "You know people do enjoy? Electricity. Your people wouldn't know about that I guess" Jude shot back, trying to hide his own laughter.

Bianca also tried to conceal her giggles. "Oh really? We do know about the dentist though, can you Englishmen say the same?"

Jude flashed his white teeth, wiping them with his tongue. "Don't even try to violate us like that again."

A loud ringing broke up their interaction, causing them both to jump. Bianca swiveled her chair back around and lifted the landline phone to her ear, immediately causing the annoying buzzing to stop. "JPR-Finance, this is Bianca speaking how may I assist you today?"

"It always makes me laugh when you use your customer service voice."

Bianca's heart fluttered in her chest the second she heard Kylian's voice, a warm feeling spreading in her stomach. She could feel Jude's eyes on her so she kept her composure calm and professional. "I'm not sure what you're talking about, sir. Is there anything you would like help with this afternoon?"

Kylian's eyebrows raised at her continued act. "Actually yes there is, Ms. Salazar. I've got half a pineapple pizza that I need you to come finish. Food waste is one of the world's greatest failures and it would be such a shame to contribute to it."

Bianca snickered internally. So corny but so cute.

She felt at ease when Jude went back to the computer, now able to act more like herself around Kylian. "I'll be happy to help you.

The phone was placed back into the holder before she slid out from her desk and headed to the elevators.

Bianca swallowed her food before speaking, eyes on his suit. "I have a question for you"

Kylian tapped his mouth with a napkin to wipe away the shiny residue from the pizza. He hummed shortly for her to continue speaking. "Is Camille your wife or your girlfriend?" The question caught him off guard and he coughed to regain composure.

"She's my girlfriend." He responded simply, fidgeting the napkin inside his palm.

A small wave of relief washed over her. At least they aren't married.

She accepted his answer and took another bite of the greasy bread before pressing again. "How long have you guys been together?"

Kylian breathed in slowly as he winded his shoulders, visibly uncomfortable. "I just turned 20 when we met so a little more than four years." He surprisingly seemed level-headed when answering even though out of his comfort zone.

Bianca cocked her head to the side. "But Ariella is four so Camille must have gotten pregnant quickly."

"She got pregnant only a month into our relationship. I hadn't really gotten to know her well at that point, I was just a kid. Young and dumb. I got Ari though, so I'm happy." Kylian shrugged it off, shutting the pizza box as his appetite dwindled.

She kept the conversation going, relieved to finally get some answers. "Where did you meet?"

Kylian paused in his place and looked at the ceiling trying to wrack his brain to remember the answer. "At a club, if I remember correctly. I was more wild in those days so all the memories kind of blended together. I don't like to think about it much."

Her lips pulled downwards. The entire situation seemed unfair with each new fact she discovered.

Bianca was walking on a tightrope with this conversation and she knew it, so pushing too much on the subject wasn't a smart idea but yet the nagging feeling of wanting to know more wouldn't leave.

The pizza grew cold as it stayed on the paper plate, now long forgotten. Bianca lifted her head up to look at him, adrenaline too strong to be afraid.

Against her better judgment, she asked the question that's been on her mind for some time now. "Do you really love her?"

Kylian's eyes softened and his shoulders slumped down. "Bianca," he breathed out as he stood up from his seat.

Bianca instantly regretted asking the question, cheeks burning with embarrassment and wanting to crawl into a hole to hide forever. Kylian bent down to meet her eye level in the chair before holding her face in his palms and gently kissing her.

His lips were warm and relaxed, contrasting sharply with hers who was careful and shaky as her mind swirled. After a few seconds of his touch, she eased into him and accepted when his tongue swiped across her lower lip.

Their saliva exchanged as their mouths opened for each other, salty and sweet like the food they just consumed. Kylian broke the kiss to press a few other ones to her cheeks before he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

Bianca was unsure of what answer she wanted to hear but as she sat smothered in his arms, this seemed like the perfect one.

Her hands pushed on his chest to get space only enough to find his mouth again this time with more heat. Kylian grabbed her thighs lifted her from the chair swiftly and placed her on his semi-empty desk.

"You're always on my mind," Kylian says breathlessly before sucking on her neck.

Bianca's mind is fuzzy, lost in the sensation of his tongue dragging across her flesh. Kylian is growing hard quickly, subconsciously grinding against her leg for friction. She rubs his bulge with one hand, the other cradling his head as he unbuttons her shirt and then unclasps her bra.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spots the large clock ticking mockingly at them. "You have a meeting in forty minutes so let's make this quick, mon beau." she reminds him before wincing at the cold air now exposed to her chest.

Kylian let out a low laugh as he pulls her skirt down. "Oui m'dame" he pecks at her lips.

Bianca hops off the desk and turns around so that she's fully bent over the desk. From behind, she hears him gasp at her straightforward action. Kylian takes time to caress her body, admiring her as if she was a sculpture; tracing over her curves with the pads of his fingertips.

His veiny hands grasp her ass, squeezing the fatty flesh before pressing his thumb over her clothed pussy. Kylian circled around the nerves through the thin cloth, smiling when he felt her warm juices spread around with his finger.

She pushed back onto his long digit, desperate for more contact as she held onto the wooden desk completely vulnerably.

Kylian found it amusing watching her squirm and wanted to drag it out for longer despite the time crunch. He yanked his hand away from her body to unzip his pants and push them down his thick thighs, tugging his boxers down next.

He could see in her body language that she felt excited at the sound of his pants falling and he almost felt bad for not instantly giving her what she wanted so badly. Kylian took his fully hard dick and dragged his across her ass, his sticky warm precum leaving small wet stains against the cotton of her underwear.

Bianca let out a whine and murmured his name incoherently, only enticing him further.

He lifted up the fabric so that his throbbing cock could slide between the skin and the material, the silhouette of his dick outlined in the cotton. He groaned at the feeling of her soft flesh rubbing against his foreskin and he shallowly thrusts.

"More Kylian" she cries, grinding her ass against him.

Kylian placed one hand on her waist and guides her while he bucks into her repeatedly, enjoying the view of her ass bouncing against him. He let out small grunts as he got lost in the moment and became focused on the enchanting sight before him, focused on his own pleasure. "Please baby" she gets out needily.

That broke him out of his trance, and Kylian having enough of his own game pulled down her underwear and eased himself into her dripping heat. "Fuck yes yes thank you" Bianca jumbled together, lust clouding her senses.

He slid into her body perfectly like a puzzle piece, sucking at the side of her neck and shuddering at how good her slippery walls felt clenching around him. "Always so tight and perfect for me," Kylian says into her ear as he picks up his pace.

Kylian pulls away to grab at her ass again, sweat forming as he pumps himself into her completely before pulling out again and repeating the steps. Bianca was a mess under him, drooling onto the surface below as his tip nudged against her most sensitive spot.  

He angled himself so he could repeatedly fuck into that spot, this time harder. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head as a string of curses left her mouth incoherently. Kylian used one of his hands to fondle her breast before pulling her hair so her neck would be exposed to his lips.

Bianca was already close and he could feel it by the globs of clear liquid smearing onto his cock and her walls enclosing around him tightly. Kylian can feel his cock start to twitch at the wet warm feeling. "Merde, princess you're fucking soaking. Not gonna last long." 

Kylian lowered his hand to rub against her clit, starting off slowly and then matching his fast pace. "Ahh f-fuckkkk" she borderline screamed out, eyes screwing shut, dangerously close to her orgasm. 

" 's good. Want you to cum all over" Bianca slurred drunkenly, eyelids low.

Kylian let out a low whine. "You need my cum mon bébé?" 

She nodded quickly without a second thought.  "Yes! Want you to make a mess on me."

He was determined to make her come first, so he pounded into her and rubbed against that spot again, pushing her over the edge. Kylian almost cried at how good it felt when her sopping velvety walls spasmed around his raw cock, wanting to milk him for everything he had. Bianca chanted his name as she came, hot dribbles of her own juice running down her legs.

"Gonna paint you so pretty" he groaned out deeply, balls tight and full of his semen.

Kylian couldn't hold back any longer so he pulled out and drenched her smooth thighs in his white creamy cum, moaning as his cock spurted out an endless load. "Fuck yes! Take it all, ma chérie" He grunted out.

Bianca rubbed her thighs together to make a bigger mess, smearing the thick liquid all over her skin combined with her own juices. Kylian panted as he slowly came down, mind cloudy from how intense his orgasm was. 

Kylian turned her around on the desk so their lips could meet again, his hand rubbing against her drenched thighs so he could feel their own creation. "Beautiful," he says as he looks down.

Kylian and Bianca stood sweatily and out of breath as they came down from their highs, skin flushed and damp as proof of their actions. He pulled Bianca into his arms one last time to kiss her sloppily, she reciprocated happily but somewhat tired.

"I hate when I have to leave," Bianca says once their lips part.

Kylian brings her hand up to his mouth, leaving long kisses on each knuckle. "Don't leave then. Stay here forever with me." He sounded serious even though what he was saying was outlandish.

Oh, If only.

Bianca couldn't resist another kiss even if the time was running out before his meeting. As Kylian's fingers laced in her hair a loud knocking caused them to pull away abruptly.

"Kylian?"

The high-pitched voice made both of their stomachs drop. They froze in their places as the knocking got louder. "I know you're in there Kylian." She shrieked.

He zipped his pants up as Bianca rushed to find her underwear thrown somewhere across the room. "Camille I'm in a meeting," Kylian yelled at the door as he tried to straighten up the mess they had made.

The door handle started jiggling as Camille yanked at the metal but it was stopped by the lock. "Just let me in Kylian you're driving me crazy" Camille huffed, voice strong.

Bianca's eyes scanned around the room for places to hide but there weren't many options. Behind a plant seemed too cliche and seeing the girl face to face was definitely out of the question. It was obvious to anyone with a brain what they were doing and if anyone found out, the consequences would be disastrous.

Luckily, Kylian's grand wooden desk completely touched the floor so it was impossible to see what was on the other side unless you completely came around. Bianca set aside her dignity as she crawled on the floor and nustled herself into the dark space.

Going from letting another person inside of her to minutes later degrading herself to being someone's dirty secret as his cum dried on her skin was humiliating, to say the least; but it was completely deserved.

"Just stay quiet and we'll be fine" Kylian assured her in a whisper.

The knocking hadn't stopped, if anything only growing louder. Kylian quickly opened up a window to let out some of the humidity and sprayed old cologne from years ago that he doesn't even like anymore.

He rushed to the door and cracked it open, his body blocking her from being able to see inside. "Are you crazy? I'm in the middle of a meeting! Are you trying to get me fired?" Kylian lied easily to the upset girl.

Camille let out a shaky breath. "You make me crazy. I can't shake this gut feeling, Kylian. A woman's intuition is never wrong."

Bianca felt like she was going to throw up her head spinning and ears ringing yet she couldn't move a muscle.

"I don't have time for this Camille. You've come up here more times within the past week than you have in my whole career and all you do is cause a scene every time. I can't take it anymore" Kylian kept stern.

Camille let out an offended gasp. "I don't have any other choice. You come home smelling like a woman's perfume and you won't even look at me anymore. Every single time I talk to you, you barely respond. It's like your head is always somewhere else."

Bianca felt like she was watching a horrible car crash. An absolute wreck, but you can't look away- or in this case, stop listening.

"We can talk about it when we get home but I'm not doing this here. Leave Camille." Kylian wasn't even arguing back, seemingly just tired.

His girlfriend clearly wasn't satisfied with that answer, only fueling the fire more. "You don't even care about me! I'm sitting here pouring out my heart and you don't even give a fuck! What kind of example are you setting for Ariella? I will never let my child grow up with such a pathetic excuse of a father" Camille sobbed.

Kylian let out a sigh and softened his tone as he scratched the back of his neck. "Of course I care, I really do. I just have a lot of work that needs to get done. I promise the second I get home, we can talk about this. Go home, run a bath, and relax."

Bianca hears their clothes shift as Camille clings to his body for a hug. "I love you" she hears faintly from Camille.

"I love you too."

Suddenly it's all too much and Bianca covers her ears with her hands, hands shaking around her head as she does so. The door shuts and Kylian bends down to find Bianca with her knees to her chest and shaking from the adrenaline. "Are you okay?" He asks softly.

She doesn't say anything, only staring blankly at the floor. "Bianca" he calls to her.

Bianca's face remains the same, staring off into space.

Kylian doesn't know what to say or do so he crawls on the floor next to her and waits in silence in the dark small space, eyes carefully watching her. "I want to go home," Bianca says after some time.

"Whatever you want to do, I'll make happen. But please-" He pauses, hesitant to scare her away.

Please don't give up on me.

"-call me when you get home. I want to make sure you're okay."

Bianca stands up quietly, not saying anything else as she fixes her clothes and bolts for the door, leaving a distressed Kylian behind.

She stopped at her desk to grab her things, a preoccupied Jude looking up when he sees she came back. "You're leaving already?" He asks with surprise.

Bianca was in no mood to talk but still kept a polite tone. "Yeah, I'm not feeling well."

It wasn't a complete lie, at least.

Jude pouts his lip. "Shit, sorry to hear."

He turns his body around and scribbles down something in pen before ripping the paper and presenting it to her. "Here's my number. It gets lonely here, let's hang out sometime.."

Bianca takes the paper and shoves it deep into her pocket. "Definitely."

Hours pass as Bianca stayed nuzzled on her couch, wrapped under thick wool blankets. Her eyes are swollen from all the time spent crying, replaying the day over and over again in her head from every possible angle.

Everything was just so messy and confusing, she hated it.

Today forced her to come to the realization that even the people you dislike the most have feelings too. Is it justified in any way? Can I handle the emotional burden that comes with Kylian? Is it all worth it?

They could both lose everything, but for some reason, none of that mattered the moment she was in his presence. Everything felt so right with him. Bianca internally cursed at herself forever applying to the job in the first place. In any scenario, they would always be drawn to each other.

No matter how much she tried to fight against her feelings for him, she would always lose. Bianca imagines stepping into a time machine and stopping herself from ever leaving her country at all.

At the reminder of the silly conversation from earlier with Jude, she crawls off of the couch to find her sweater from earlier and dig out the pockets. In it was his sloppy note and she carried it with her before sitting back on the cushions and typing the numbers into her phone.

B: Hey, It's Bianca. Sorry for messaging so late, I was distracted all day. Hope you're sleeping well.

About ten minutes later her phone buzzes with a notification.

J: why would I be asleep? Sleep is for the weak yanno xx

She smiles for the first time in hours.

B: right, that's why I assumed you'd be asleep.

J: ur an actual hater

J: ur lucky ur pretty or else I'd block u rn ;P

-

𝔸/ℕ:  𝕋𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕜 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘!! 𝕀'𝕧𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕕 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕤𝕠 𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕤𝕠 𝕀'𝕞 𝕘𝕝𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕚𝕟𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕕𝕦𝕔𝕖 𝕁𝕦𝕕𝕖. 𝔹𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕒 𝕚𝕤 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕒 𝕞𝕒𝕕𝕖-𝕦𝕡 𝕚𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕚𝕟 𝕞𝕪 𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕠 𝕀 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝 𝕝𝕚𝕜𝕖 𝕚𝕥'𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕓𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕚𝕥!  𝔹𝕚𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕒 𝕚𝕤 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖! 𝕀 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕘𝕖𝕥 𝕒 𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕜 𝕒𝕥 ℂ𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖'𝕤 𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕀 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕤 𝕒 𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕖 𝕕𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕚𝕥. ℕ𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕖𝕩𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕖𝕥 𝕦𝕡 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕦𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕠 𝕀'𝕞 𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕦𝕚𝕟𝕖𝕝𝕪 𝕤𝕠𝕣𝕣𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕨𝕒𝕤𝕟'𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕚𝕥 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕙𝕒𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕕𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕦𝕘𝕙. 𝕊𝕠 𝕔𝕦𝕣𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕥𝕠 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕒𝕝𝕤𝕠 𝕋ℍ𝔸ℕ𝕂 𝕐𝕆𝕌 𝔽𝕆ℝ 𝔸𝕃𝕃 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕃𝕆𝕍𝔼 <𝟛𝟛𝟛𝟛!!!!! 𝕀 𝕤𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕪𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗 𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 ��𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕖 𝕡𝕖𝕠𝕡𝕝𝕖! 𝕀𝕃𝕐𝕊𝕄!!

[piracytheorist]

Justice, Protection, and Kindness

I had considered the reason Twilight had such a reaction to being thanked by the old woman in chapter/episode 3 was because he's never been thanked before, and... now that I think more on it, I don't think that's the case. Beneath the masks Twilight dons, there's real kindness in him. There's no way he's never been thanked before for something he did out of genuine kindness, even if that was something as simple as holding the door open for someone pushing a stroller or something. Simple and genuine 'thank you's are everyday speech.

In this moment, when the old lady starts thanking Yor for her help, Yor passes the credit for catching the thief to Loid. Loid then averts his eyes and says that if not for her, he wouldn't have gone after the thief, and we know it's true, cause his immediate reaction to the theft was to say, out loud, that the old lady should have been more careful.

And well, I know I just said there's genuine kindness in Twilight, yet here he was victim blaming an innocent old woman. But, the thing is... I think this is exactly why her gratitude gave him such pause.

His end goal is to create a world without war and cruelty, but the means to that end have turned him into a man who commits cold-blooded murder, who manipulates and lies and takes advantage of innocent civilians. His work desensitizes him to casual violence so much that when he witnesses a pickpocketing, he blames the victim, because why wasn't she more careful, like he's learned to be?

That is, until he witnesses another civilian go super out of her way to help the victim and catch the thief.

This is an example of how Yor, despite also doing a merciless job that requires extreme violence out of her, has a much easier time expressing and showing her kind and just heart. And that's because Yor never lost direct contact with what her job allows her to do; she took it to provide for and support Yuri, and Yuri was a constant presence in her life. She went to job, killed her targets, went back home and there was Yuri smiling at her and loving her. And she'd look at him, feeling love and pride for him, and she'd think "It's worth it."

There's no indication that Twilight ever had that; the only thing that keeps him going is a simple hope that peace will remain, and there's a thousand sides that threaten this peace every single day. He has no concrete evidence that his hard work has an actual effect nor the luxury of sitting back and feeling content for the day. (Not that Yor is more complacent; in fact, it's due to Yuri that she tries to keep a façade of normalcy as much as she can to the point where she can't afford widening her worries without Yuri noticing, or possibly, becoming a target)

So Twilight is used to working in the shadows and his work never being recognized. He's not used to direct, public action and immediate results, so he doesn't see any point in going after the thief, and the brutality of his work and the way that desensitizes his character lead him to blame the old woman.

But Yor awakens his feelings of justice. As someone who was still a kid when a war took everything from him, Twilight must carry a ton of feelings of injustice within his soul, for all the wrongs in his life that were never rectified, for all the losses that won't be given back, for all the compensation he'll never get.

Though the perpetrator was a simple, yet cowardly (as he targeted a lower-class old woman who had no way of defending herself) thief, Twilight gave him quite the murder glare. And that's because Yor's spring to action awakened in him the feeling to protect the vulnerable. No-one protected his young, vulnerable self; he takes it upon himself to be the protection he wished he had when he was young.

The same way Anya's crying and call for help reminded him of his reason to become a spy, Yor's character and spring to action remind him that he's not alone in wanting to protect the vulnerable parts of society; that there's still innocent kindness in the world that's on his side. Its effects may not last as long or have the range that the effects of pro-peace spy work does, but it's still the crux of his incentive.

It's that innocent kindness that the old woman thanks both Yor and Loid for. It's that innocent kindness that he's reminded he can still afford, despite how cruel he has to be for the sake of his spy job. His experiences have not only desensitized him; they've made him forget how some people are simply, instinctively good.

During his talk with Donovan Desmond, he thinks about how it's idealism to think that people can simply talk out their differences ad infinitum and that peace can be achieved by plain and civil discussion. But the thing is, there's different stages of moral development each individual reaches in their lifetime. The old woman, probably working-class (evidenced by the fact that though she's old and frail, she goes shopping on her own as she cannot afford to hire someone for that) and full of her own responsibilities (having a grandchild she wants to give a gift to; a gift she would be too poor to afford without the stolen money) is unlikely to go as deep as believing her kindness can change the world, yet she understands and appreciates and is grateful for kindness in people.

Twilight's job, over the course of the years, has made him forget many core things about himself. His vision of a world where children don't suffer; his wish to protect the vulnerable the way he wished someone had protected him; the kindness that may look simple and naive but is the thing that keeps the world together

His way to survive the brutality of his work was to immerse himself in it completely and let go of his sense of self; one of the things he had to accept was that he'll never receive gratitude and recognition for his deeds. He's the perfect spy; he completes his missions, doesn't get attached... and doesn't expect gratitude.

And yet, that woman whom he initially thought of as naive and deserving of her fate, recognizes the real kindness and justice in him and thanks him for that.

It's all of that coming down on him that causes him to have such a moment.

Chichi tsundere fr

And also, what makes him thank Yor with such honesty.

Justice for the innocent, protection of the vulnerable and appreciation of everyday kindness. That's what Yor reminded him of, encouraging him with the thought that he's not alone in his hard work towards building a better world, even if in his mind the people he protects work on a much more superficial level than he does. This is what he needs to see to say "It's worth it".

Piece by piece, Anya, Yor, and his experiences with them awaken the parts of him that he pushed into darkness and near oblivion. It's not just the fact that he lives with them in an everyday basis and assumes the role of a father so much that he slowly becomes him. It's their characters and actions, too, that bring out emotions and ideals he's been ignoring for so long.

(Anime only fan here, don't spoil me for the manga)

[kfanopinions]

Hyunjin (Stray Kids) Ideal Type - Astrology Based

okay so because i am not working with hyunjin's birth time this is really going to be surface level information. i will be looking into his moon as well as his venus.

Virgo Moon

you are special virgo moon men can be hard on themselves. their partner should remind them that they are special and that their flaws are what make them special

perfectionists someone who is just and pardon my french, anal as he about things lol i don't believe he would want someone who doesn't care if things are messy or go unexpected

getting hot in here his partner should have things to add that extra pizzazz and wow factor in the bedroom. now i'm not talking fifty shades of grey red room of pain pizzazz but maybe something along the lines of sensory play. nothing crazy!

receiver virgo moon men give affection on the daily so someone who doesn't like that wouldn't be ideal for him

you got it! this is more on hyunjin's side - he can adapt to what his partner wants and needs. if his partner wants someone adventurous let's say in the bedroom, he can do that. if they want someone who leaves love notes, he can try (see further down to understand why) so he will need someone who knows what they want in the relationship and what they want from him. just to make it easier on the man

ambivert/extrovert (?) take this with a grain of salt. virgo moon men can be very shy people. they don't want to draw any negative attention towards themselves and be judged by other people so they can be quiet and withdrawn. perhaps, he could use someone who is both an extrovert and introvert depending on the situation or an extrovert to help him learn that it's okay to be goofy and silly and crazy - and not to give a sh*t about what people say

great sense of humor we've all seen how weird and funny hyunjin is (and overly dramatic) so someone who can laugh along with him (and possibly at his goofy ass) will be nice

your happiness matters too! virgo moon men and i mean this in the most loving way possible, can be pushovers. they like helping people but they can sometimes forget that their health and happiness matter as well. he could look for someone who can remind him that he needs to think about himself too

cheerleader he needs a partner who will remind him to dream and to actually go for those dreams because they could of course not come true or he could miss a chance at something amazing

jealousy much he's a natural chick magnet so his partner should be prepared

also, here is an added bonus i had no idea where to put...hyunjin or should i say virgo moon men...are not the greatests flirts. they can be downright awkward around women (if he's interested in women) so perhaps if he's looking for a woman she may need to do the flirting and be direct haha

ideal partner he is looking for the right person and by right person the epitome of perfection! whatever he has in his mind is what he will go after. nothing more and nothing less

abandoned he's so hard on himself to the point of self-loathing and being so overly critical of himself that he can drive people away. his partner will need to either learn how to get him out of this funk or be prepared to pull their hair out when he gets like this - if worse comes to worse they could leave him too : (

domestic if his partner wants someone to help with the chores hyunjin is that man. he's very domestic. laundry, dishes, rearranging the furniture to bring in positive energy - he's down for it all

be your own person hyunjin could want a partner that can think, do, handle their own business themselves. to go for whatever they dream about going for and he would love to be there for the ride as well. cheering and offering a helping hand if needed (like seriously if his partner needs ANYTHING he will do it for them...well within reason lol)

t.l.c he needs a partner that is loving, considerate, and someone who can handle his self-deprecating ass (sorry had to say it...virgo moon men really need to suck it up a little lol) when he is in those moods he needs a shoulder to cry on, or a loving embrace to be wrapped in. he will need someone to remind him (like i said earlier) that he is enough and perfect as is

tough skin as i've said he's critical of himself, well guess what, he's critical of his partner as well. so his partner should be able to handle criticism. he doesn't do this to make them feel bad about themselves/have self-esteem issues but to help them be the best they can be. remember he is looking for perfection so...he will do his best to help it along!

get ready for exams! hyunjin is a water sign, he's going to want devotion from his partner. he'll put them through a series of tests to be sure that THEY ARE THE ONE (trust your unnie scorpio here *wink*)

no need to be mushy hyunjin will need a partner who understands that he won't be all over them with lovey dovey type of love. virgo moon people will express their love and affection in practical ways not in "big displays of affection"

slow and steady wins the race please take this with a grain of salt...virgo moon people may feel intimidated with aspects revolving around sex. they could even be uncomfortable with their own sexuality.

people with a moon in virgo are body aware and can lack confidence in what they're working with. but there is a bright side... his partner will need to take things slow and when he's comfortable around them he'll be able to show his love for them in all senses of the word

forbidden fruit when a person with a virgo moon are comfortable let's say this just like i said above...they will be down and ready and with hyunjin's "wanting to please others" and "be useful" side... good luck to his future partner *wink*

serious! hyunjin isn't looking for a one-night stand or a quick fling. he want's a relationship with this placement. so someone who is serious and wants a relationship as well will be perfect for him

PISCES VENUS

don't judge a book by it's cover but the contents inside those with a pisces in venus will not judge someone by their status. they don't care. what they care about is the person inside. so, hyunjin will most likely look towards his partners heart more than anything on the outside

play the victim (?) just kidding but pisces venus people can have a tendency to like people who need "a little help" or those who are the "underdogs"

this can mean that he either wants to "save" his partner or would want his partner to "save" him. it can go either way

inequality this can mean that he wants to be in charge and handle things which would make sense with his moon in virgo being sort of like the "i'll do it" "i'll help" "i've got this" added with the "saving" portion - he may want someone whom he can take care of. again, it could be reversed where he may want to be the one to be taken care of instead. either way one person may take on more of the dominant role instead of things being equal

hard to love commitment issues can be hard in terms of tying people with a pisces venus down. it's like they want to be in love, they want to be in a relationship but at the same time it doesn't sink down to the heart level. it's like seeing an iceberg floating in the water. what you see is just what is above the surface. there is MUCH more to that iceberg below the water

i've lost the map it can be hard for hyunjin to map out the relationship or to know what he wants and why with this placement. his partner will need to keep this in mind and be understanding that he may never really know..."what he wants" this seems to contradict his moon in virgo since that placement is looking for the perfect person - but at the end of the day no one is perfect, so it in a roundabout way makes sense with not knowing what you want or "who"

greatest desire finding this special someone is going to be a pisces venus' biggest desire. again he will be looking for THE ONE. when he finds that person his feelings will be real and there will be so much love there

emotions taking me over hyunjin will be attracted to a sensitive and emotional partner. someone who accepts and embraces their femininity (i do want to warn...someone who is not "too sensitive" will be ideal considering his virgo moon) (believe me, my mom is a virgo in her sun and she can be SUPER CRITICAL) lol

walk instead of run anyone that is impulsive, who acts before thinking can be annoying to hyunjin with this placement. like in his moon, he analyzes situations and wants things to go over smoothly to utter perfection. someone who is a "dive in head first" may find themselves getting the side-eye

cabin in the woods a man with a pisces venus may be prone to being out in nature, or being one with nature. if they live in the city i can see them wanting to go to a park or to be a plant dad lol he may want a partner that likes nature as well or doesn't mind being around it (sorry fellow allergy sufferers)

wishy washy his partner will need to keep up with this part. hyunjin may have a tendency to like something one second and disregard it the next. he could be flying high then riding low. he can be appreciative then he can be spiteful. this up and down behavior is something to look out for

diplomacy hyunjin could possibly be a dreamer. with his moon in virgo i stated that he needs someone who can give him that little push if he needs it to go for his dreams/ambitions. this comes up again here, but it's in the sense that he may have crazy ideas so someone who can balance out the crazy and lead him in the right direction calmly may be perfect for him

don't be fake look water signs are intuitive okay. scorpio, pisces, cancer, they are all ruled by water which means: emotions, creativity, relationships, and you guessed it INTUITION. hyunjin will be able to see through any bullsh*t so his partner needs to be real with him. even if that means being vulnerable from the get go. not let me tell you my whole life story from day 1 but more like looking into his eyes and showing him who they are in their heart. the love, happiness, hurt, pain, and etc.

traditional take this with a grain of salt. he could look for someone that has traditional values when it comes to a relationship. what i mean is: meeting, testing the waters, dates, taken status, engaged, and marriage, turning into old farts together. something like this. he really and i do mean, boy do i f*cking mean REALLY wants to find the perfect person (getting tired of seeing this lol) so someone who can show him what the future with them will look like is probably going to get some extra bonus points

cool calm and collective harmony, peace, no conflicts. this is what hyunjin desires in a relationship. he doesn't want to fight with his partner. doesn't want to compete with his partner. he really wants that zen "all is good in your arms" type of relationship. someone hostile, aggressive, extra naggy, or even short-tempered may not be the person for him

perfection...is not a word so, take this with the finest grain of salt. despite wanting the perfect relationship. despite looking far and wide and over yonder, he may end up cheating. this is if (i said this in the moon) women are around him too much OR if he is surrounded by people who are very lax in their commitment towards people. sort of "you're a product of your environment" type of thing

also, if his partner and i hate to say this...isn't ideal or living up to his standards he may find himself in someone else's arms

all he needs is love affection, love, caring, straightforwardness, devotion. loving him for him. that is what hyunjin needs in a partner

indifferent okay i'm putting this here because i think it's important. even if hyunjin may like someone if he personally can't see it going the full circle he won't even bother trying. for an example, if he meets someone that is damn near close to the perfect person but they live in another country he may just walk away because of this obstacle. if he can't see himself or the other person getting over it he may never go through with it

[haleigh-sloth]

Shigaraki was explicitly stated to have an origin chapter and the fandom just gloss over it thinking he the final boss and I laugh everytime maybe I should start saying origin quartet to drive it home to people

Tenko Shimura Origin parts 1 and 2: Shows a kid who wanted to befriend the friendless, wanted to be a hero, wanted to feel accepted in his own home in his own family, wanted his big sister to protect him when he was scared, wanted his mom to hold him as he killed her, wanted his dad to protect him and tell him it wasn't his fault and accept his apology for turning their entire family to dust, was so distressed by his father's reaction that he snapped and killed him too, was so swelled up with guilt and shock that he couldn't even speak to anyone on the street to say he was lost, just wanted someone to take his hand and tell him it was okay and that he's not bad or evil and validate the fact that it was an accident and not his fault.

Tomura in chapter 379: I've always wanted to destroy. I hate my house and wanted to destroy it the whole time I was there. I wanted to kill my family and my father. I will only be saved by following the path of destruction that my abusive master laid out for me, who I just acknowledged as someone who was grooming and using me, and now I'm asserting my independence by doing exactly what he wanted me to do and believing what he wanted me to believe. Has it worked? Has it made me happy yet? Nope! This time for sure though!

Reactions to 379: Yes. Finally. Tomura acknowledges his origin that has always been rooted in the desire to destroy the house and family aforementioned. It has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that his self-perception is incredibly skewed by years of gaslighting causing him to re-contextualize his grief as him remembering that he wanted it to happen, and it's not like that re-contextualization has resulted in him hating himself for what he did or anything, it's not like he didn't completely distort and twist the narration over his memories to make it easier to cope. It's not like Tomura Shigaraki: Distortion is about how he feels like he'll never feel good again and the title itself speaks to how he feels this way because of distorted thoughts. His desire to destroy has nothing to do with the fact that the reason he wants to destroy it all is because he doesn't see a place for himself in the world, so the only option left is for him to get rid of it all. It has nothing to do with the fact that he hates himself for the deaths of his family members and that's why every time he gets insanely triggered his family and his home are at the forefront. It's not like his real issue lies with how he remembers his relationship and feelings toward his family. Yeah, not that at all.

I don't really know a more blatant way to say this.

Tomura is not angry about society. He is angry that, no matter what society looks like, he'll never fit in with it, because he's an evil bastard who always wanted to kill his family, and then did.

That's what he believes anyway.

I feel that the hang up is this view on society he has. He doesn't care. He wants it gone because he can't be in it, he can't be a part of it. He doesn't want it gone simply because it sucks. It does suck. His experience is real. But that's not what he wants someone to validate his feelings on. He doesn't need that.

He needs to escape the distortion in his brain. He wasn't born to destroy. He wasn't "always wanting" his family to die. He didn't want it to happen when it did. He still feels guilty because of the distorted perceptions he has toward himself that tell him he wanted it to happen and that he meant to do it, when in reality, it was an accident.

He hates himself because in his mind he'll never rejoin the world with everyone else. That self-hatred is what Izuku saves him from, and that self-hatred is a direct result of AFO.

So yeah, he still needs to be saved from AFO lol.

[marinerainbow]

OC x Canon analysis under the cut.

One of the reasons I love Pocho is because of how opposites they are. Especially in how selfish Poppy and Psycho are.

For Poppy, she isn't. She's selfless to a fault. Even in a way that's toxic to her own self; she would just stand there and let someone verbally abuse her in hopes they're at least letting off steam. She would- and has- stepped in the middle of a conflict just to drag someone out of it who, as far as she knew, didn't deserve to get hurt. And, if she had to, she'd sacrifice herself if it meant someone would live- whether she knew them or not.

She is genuinely a kind and good person. But it mostly stems from the fact that ever since she was created, it had been hammered into her head that she doesn't matter. And, even now, she holds that same value to herself. She feels like she has to have a reason to do things just for herself.

Psycho on the other hand, he is a selfish person. All of the weasels are selfish to varying degrees, and that includes him. The only reason he doesn't jump on people as often as he likes is because he decides it's not worth getting a lecture from Smartass. He'll act out on his impulsive thoughts without a care for how it may affect others, only how it would satisfy him. From small, silly things like biting into the soap bar, to more grim things.

He was mistreated like Poppy. Though unlike her, he decided he wouldn't let others dictate what he can and can't do. To an extent at least, since he still listens to Smartass. That and he's just that kind of guy.

You can even see it in how they both approached falling in love and confessing. Poppy fell for him first, but she didn't say a word. Because she knew he didn't like her back and didn't want to not only make him uncomfortable, but also lose a friend. Psycho however, it took him a long time to catch feelings for Poppy. But when he realized he wanted her, it didn't take him too long before he approached her about it. Even if she said no, he still wanted to get it out that he loved her.

Psycho can't comprehend why Poppy would just sacrifice herself so much. And Poppy doesn't get how he can't think of everyone involved. But they can agree on this; they love each other, no matter what. And they'll do anything for the other.

Poppy still has a hard time doing things for herself. But Psycho just sees this as an opportunity to make her smile. If he sees she wants the last piece of dessert, he insists she has it. And will growl at the others if they try to protest. If he notices she's eyeing a necklace or another piece of jewelry while window shopping, that store is instantly on his list of places to rob. And every time he does anything like this, he looks to her in hopes of gaining her approval. He doesn't want her sad, both out of love and because he prefers her happy.

And on Psycho's end, Poppy is finally able to make him think of others. Well, not all the others, just her. Before, he would have killed the bag boy without a second thought just cause. Now though? He hesitates. Because he knows Poppy wouldn't like it. And if he sees she's trying to mediate a nasty fight, he'll come in, scoop her up, and run out of there with her because he knows that this takes a toll on her. She manages to bring the good within him out, even if the good is only directed towards her.

Poppy has noticed. She sees how important she is to him, and that alone is enough to get her to cry happy tears. Yes, it is partially out of his own wants, but he still wants to make her happy. He still wants to do all this for her and protect her. She isn't used to people wanting these good things for her, and that only makes Psycho even more important to her. And makes her try so hard every day to make him feel just as loved as he makes her feel.

And slowly, Poppy's able to start thinking of herself because of him. At first, it was only because she didn't want Psycho to worry about her, but it started getting easier for her to do things that she needed for herself. From little things like buying that sunhat she's always wanted, to things like keeping out of Smartass' way when he's yelling at the others. Because of Psycho, she's now able to see importance in herself.

Psycho is a selfish toon. And Poppy is a selfless toon. It seems like they would be a toxic match. But it only shows how perfect they are for each other.

[deathdxnces]

It is OBNOXIOUSLY loud, Kayn thinks idly as he sits himself next to the dancer. Cold too— the tiles of the roof they occupy retaining little warmth. There's some kind of festival going on in the streets beneath them, though neither of them can participate unfortunately— both of them draw far too much attention ( and not always the GOOD kind, in Kayn's case ). But that's fine, if Irelia is naïve enough to continue entertaining his double-edge affections, then he's SELFISH enough to allow it.

❝ You asked why I call you Princess once, didn't you...? ❞ he asks, uncomfortable sitting in too much noise that doesn't involve his own voice. ❝ It was only a taunt at first— ❞ And maybe it'd be better for him if it had STAYED that way, if he had kept thinking she was some pretty figurehead, raised to sit high on a throne without having to get her own hands dirty or give any real care to her people. It'd be easier to ignore her if that were the case. But would he be HALF as happy then (even knowing he doesn't deserve it )? ❝ Now I just like watching the way you blush so hard when I call you that. ❞

» — ⌜ 𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑴  ♥️ ⌟  , 

— @deathfxnds

The glance she directs at the festivities beneath is one filled with the deep-seated 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆 of one who would have been there, once, in a life so distant it feels death itself separates who she had been then from who she was now. She loved festivals as a child, and none so much as the one to celebrate the coming of spring, when she'd watch Zinneia dance at the Placidium.

Both her teacher and that stage have lost its shine, now, no matter how fervently she had wished to occupy it once.

Bitterly, she thinks her wish was granted, in a way; she did dance at the Placidium, in a performance so remarkable as to make her known throughout all of Ionia. It just hadn't been pretty. Instead, it had been desperate and vicious and 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃𝐘 and —

Irelia is grateful the thoughts are cut off by the sound of Kayn's voice, attention fully turning to him, instead. Her palms rest upon the cold tiles of the roof they occupy, shoulder almost touching his; the warmth of closeness would be welcome, the dancer thinks, as the wind continues to blow icily — yet no effort is made to bridge that gap, not yet. Likely to not remain that way for too long, she reckons; Irelia is self-aware enough to acknowledge how fond she is of being much too 𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄 to someone who could hurt her in so many ways beyond just the body.

A simple nod in confirmation at the question, gaze turning curious as he suggests that question would finally be answered. A snort follows the all too predictable revelation it had been but a taunt at first, despite the lack of bite in his tone even then. There had been no other plausible reason; a provocation, directed at one he believed a fragile sort of ruler, fit for a throne that he likely expected she wanted, as if she had ever 𝑾𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑫 to be seen as anything special at all. He wasn't the first to expect her to be like that, though; and likely not the last, either.

Light laughter follows the second part of the answer, a glance away before she can look back at him, half amused and half embarrassed that it's so easy for him to get her flustered ( that he enjoys it is no secret, even if Kayn hadn't said that before; that had always been plain enough to see ). Irelia leans to the side, shoulder bumping against his arm lightly in would-be protest or some form of half-hearted complaint that isn't sincerely meant at all.

It's nice, to have someone who doesn't see her as a pretty figure on a pedestal anymore and is instead close enough to make her 𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐍 and see her flawed and find amusement in how she blushes at a single word, provocation turned into an endearment of sorts. She loves him for it. She loves him for many reasons, really.

❝ Maybe I should find a nickname for you, ❞ The half smile tinges her tone, naught of serious in her words, any previous anguish forgotten for the time being. It is always so easy to be carefree and happy, in these moments they steal and make 𝑻𝑯𝑬𝑰𝑹𝑺. ❝ Something silly that would make you flustered instead. I don't get to see that often enough. ❞

[coming-back-to-june]

to the one who taught me about the revolution

i successfully replicated you in the mind and body of someone else. a different face with a different name and a different soul, but with the same knack for menace. he was a lot angrier than you and that made him easier to mold. he tripled the anguish and took my heart by force.

i admit he managed to do something that you never had the heart to. he made me second-guess the way i was living my life - the schemes i concoct to secure my wins, the ways in which i protect myself, and how i fill the void from within.

he cut so deep, it reached my values - the sacred rules i made sure to never break so as to allow myself to be human.

funny thing though, he doesn't seem to have integrity. unlike you, he doesn't care for the poor nor the injustice that scars them into poverty and wrongful death.

he only cares about himself and his troubles because in his own belief, he was always the victim. despite traumatising others and leaving them devoid of life, he is resourceful enough to always secure the role of the casualty. (guess what? i got fed up so i really turned him into one.)

he played me, the very mind that you molded to play people like him. people whose greed and self-interests made it impossible to co-exist with dignity. people who look at others based on how efficiently they can be utilised. people who preserve the status quo because it benefit them.

he was so ignorant that i thought i could turn him into another me. the same way you have taught me to re-direct my anger into justifiable causes that gave me a reason to live. i thought i could become you to him, minus the unstable wanderlust.

but alas, i really did become you. i ran away. unlike you though, i didn't do it to get away from myself. i did it to come back to the version of "me" that you taught to take a stand. because i know - no matter how painful it was - that you pushed me to become a better person. at least, better than i used to be.

i am over you now, but i am still reeling from the ruins that he constructed in my image.

you taught me to be human and he taught me to cherish and protect the human that i've become.

i am loving my life now amid the chaos. i've learned to accept that maybe my ideals aren't enough to make this world a better place. even still, i am going to continue to care and fight. to live a life that will change other people's for the better. the way you have touched mine.

i think i'm finally letting go of my old ways - the schemes i created to put myself into positions of power, the ways in which i tore others to protect myself, and the way i turn to outside sources to fill the void in my soul.

i recovered from you by recreating you in the mind and body of someone else. i am going to recover from him by coming back to myself and letting go of what needs to be left in the past.

i can no longer change the world, so i am changing myself.

this is my revolution. one that i am founding in self-compassion and love.

[thatmcgwords]

Have you taken out time to consider why our world is the way it is? And if there could be an alternate version if we just did some things differently?

Truth is, our world is ruled by the sets of unchanged beliefs that humans pass on to each other from generation to generation. It's our beliefs that build expectations, rules, and results.

“The general beliefs create an atmosphere under which humans are raised.

For instance, a child grows up with the sets of belief systems injected into him from — first — his immediate family, then school, church, friends, and the society at large.

This wouldn't have been a problem if over 90% of what we believe wasn’t wrong. But unfortunately, it is.

Our beliefs create a special cage for each and everyone of us. We can't move past this cage unless we change what we believe about ourselves, and how the world works. We got these beliefs because we agreed to them — and if we want to change them, we have to agree on something else, because, unfortunately, the mind is the driver of our lives and it can't be empty of beliefs.

It's easier to inherit belief systems as children than to debunk them and gain new ones, but the good news is, each time you break an agreement or belief, you regain the power you used to create it in the first place, and this power can be used to break other agreements.

This is the first agreement, and it's the most powerful of all. Take this agreement seriously and you'll begin to change your life at the subconscious level, where all things are created.

Words are powerful. They are like a spell, they have the power to create or destroy. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

“Ever heard that humans are gods? Aha! Your words make you a powerful god; with it, you can create the life you want, dictate the emotions of people around you and control circumstances that are naturally beyond your reach.”

“Impeccable is from a Latin word that means “pure or without sin.” And sin simply means going against yourself. Judging yourself is a sin, because, in so doing, you're going against yourself.”

“Being impeccable doesn't in any way mean you won't notice your shortcomings, but it means you'll take responsibility for your actions rather than waste time judging yourself.”

To be impeccable with your words means you don't use your words to condemn yourself or others. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

“Yes, you're technically going against yourself when you use negative words on others, because your words — no matter where they are directed at — will eventually leave a positive or negative mark on you.

You also have to be careful with how you believe the words that proceed out of others. Don't agree with any word or remark simply because someone directed it toward you.”

Your personal remark is more important than what anyone has to say about you. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

“The author gave an example of a woman who, out of frustration, told her beautiful daughter that she had an ugly voice. The woman didn't mean what she said, she only wanted to make sure her daughter stopped disturbing her with endless singing — the woman was tired and needed to rest.

Her daughter took her words for it and as a result, refused to sing ever again. She lost her self confidence and became extremely shy. That's how powerful words are when you agree with them.”

Your reaction determines whether the word affects your life or not. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

“If you don't believe what they say, it shows you're strong and self-confident, but if you go back home weeping or you looked them in the eyes right there and said “how did you know?” It says something about your personal agreement, and the venom in those words will find a way to affect your life negatively.

You must understand that people speak out of the wells of their belief system. Nothing people say is really about you. It's about them and their personal beliefs.

Don't take anything anyone says personally. This is why you need to know and affirm who you are. If you know how strong and intelligent you are, it doesn't matter if it's a psychologist who called you stupid. This also applies when people praise you. If someone calls you a great public speaker, it's not because of you, but because of the effect your words had on him.

You could speak to the same audience, and in the end, someone will call you a great orator, while another will regret ever sitting under you. None of those remarks are because of you. It's simply those people expressing themselves.

Even the opinions your mind gives about you are not necessarily true, because your mind has an ability to talk to itself based on the information it has been receiving.”

You only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

“As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say.”

“We're good at making assumptions. We spend most of our time thinking of exactly what people imply by their words or actions. And if we're not doing that, we're busy assuming we know our way around things, so we don't need help or guidance.

Assumptions in themselves aren't bad, what is bad is that they lead us into unnecessary conclusions that release emotional poison.”

Most assumptions are not true, so, as much as possible, decline from making assumptions. Seek the truth instead. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

“Don't assume you can change people. Instead, marry someone that's compatible. Someone with whom you share similar values and worldview.

Once you stop making assumptions in all you do, you'll find that your relationship with others gets better. Even your manner of communication improves, too.”

Always remember: If you don't understand something, it's better to ask than assume you know it. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

“The fourth agreement is to always do your best — no more, no less. It's important to understand the last part of that sentence: No more, no less.”

“Here's what happens if you violate the rule. Trying to go beyond your best will drain you of energy. It will leave you tired and dissatisfied. But doing less than your best breeds self judgement and a heavy sense of self condemnation that results from knowing you could have done better.”

Always do your best — no more, no less. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

“The key to lasting happiness and energy is to always do your best in every situation you find yourself.

A lot of people do what they do for the reward and not because they like the activity. This is a wrong way to approach life; it should be the other way round. Do the things that you love, and the reward will come.

Working for a reward is the reason many people are frustrated with their work life. It's not a bad idea to quit a job you don't like, or better still, develop a passion for it. Love is a powerful force, and miracles happen whenever it's at work.”

“Doing your best is a great habit to have, and you should cultivate it. How to do that?

Make a commitment to yourself to always deliver your best in every situation. Soon you'll find that it turns into a powerful habit.”

“All over the world, people are talking about freedom. We all desire to be free, but don't seem to know how we got entrapped, nor the path to freedom.

The reality is that, bondage doesn't happen anywhere but in the mind — and it wasn't so in the beginning. We weren't born in bondage. You take a look at a two year old child and you'll realize we were born free. Something must have happened along the line to put us in mental bondage that transcends to the physical in the form of insecurities, greed, poverty and so on.”

“What happened — as hinted earlier — is that we agreed with negative beliefs while growing up. This is so real that some people don't even know they have negative and limiting beliefs.

Therefore, the first step toward genuine freedom is the personal realization that one is not free.”

Only when you realize you aren't free will you seek and accept liberty. ~ Don Miguel Ruiz

“This is called awareness, and it's proceeded by the mastery of transformation and then intent.

The mastery of transformation means knowing what to do to change as well as how to go about it; intent is the internal energy that makes this a possibility.”

“You wake up every day with renewed energy to help you go through the day. From today, decide in your heart not to let any negative emotion drain that energy. Spend your energy wisely, don't waste it concentrating on the wrong things. This is how to be productive.”

[2hoothoots]

Have you ever heard of the concept of "reparenting the inner child"? I'd like to imagine that Raz's archetypes can be physical manifestations of that in the literal sense, like seeing his older archetypes comforting his inner child whenever some unpleasant childhood stuff comes up

oh, i hadn't but that's an interesting concept!

i think with the Inner Child, though, it's almost the other way around? like, one thing I do want to clarify is that I'm not trying to make out that Raz had a particularly terrible childhood, because I don't love the implications of that tbh. instead, the Inner Child is more a safe way for Raz to express his feelings without a filter, and almost kind of like a proxy for self-care? one that was inspired by his meeting with his younger self in my fic. hold on i think i can draw it better than i can explain it in words

[yokohamapound]

omg i love this blog so far the you write- like the style is just 😭😭AHFDJHDFHJ you know. perhaps dazai, chuuya, akutagawa and atsushi with an s/o whos affectionate and likes to tend to him and take care of him, but often ends up getting so caught up with worrying about him that they forget about their own needs QAQ i cannot wait to see more content from you ;w;

Hey! Thanks so much, I had a great time writing these. Sorry for the slight unintended hiatus there!

Characters: Dazai Osamu, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Nakajima Atsushi, Nakahara Chuuya

Warnings: Mentions of low self-esteem.

Dazai Osamu

As lazy and feckless as Dazai likes to pretend to be, mostly to fuck with Kunikida, he handles most matters in his life himself. He's independent to a fault—such as when he went off on his own during the Shibusawa incident. He's confident he can handle pretty much anything that comes up.

However, when he gets a sweet, caring s/o like you, he's going to soak up your attention like a sponge and milk it for all it's worth. Being doted on is a novelty for him. He loves it, loves you.

He's an observant bastard, so it won't take him long to notice if you're fussing over him to your own detriment.

You get so caught up making him bento for lunch that you don't make one of your own. You tend to him while he's sick, only to catch a cold yourself. You spend so long listening to him talk about the cases at work and the foibles of his colleagues that you don't get to tell him about your day. Etcetera.

Dazai's no martyr—he will let you fuss over him and pamper him like a king—but he's not a bastard. He's not going to let the most important person in his life run themselves down just to cater to his comfort. I'm not saying he's suddenly going to start acting like a domestic god, because this man shouldn't legally be allowed near a kitchen, but he'll whisk you out for dinner and manipulate Atsushi (sorry, Atsushi) into doing his housework so you come home to a nice, clean apartment.

Be prepared that you might have to dine and dash at whatever restaurant he's taken you to, since he's probably put it on someone else's tab—usually Kunikida or Chuuya's.

Nakahara Chuuya

Chuuya is so used to having to do everything for everyone else, that he literally got emotional (allegedly) the first time someone else did something for him without being asked. He's in a mild state of shock for the first few months of your relationship, constantly blinking like he's staring into direct sunlight. It takes a while before he's comfortable enough to bask in your love and attention.

That being said, I like to think he's sensitive to taking advantage of people. He still sees himself as a fixer, as the person responsible for taking care of his s/o and not the other way around.

In most relationships there is some mutual give and take, but this relationship is unbalanced because you're both givers in the extreme.

It might take him a while to be able to do anything about it. He works long hours as an executive for the Port Mafia. He can be gone for days, sometimes weeks, and when he comes home it's all too easy to let you comfort and care for him. He cherishes it, but guilt still nags at him when he sees you neglecting your own needs.

"You don't have to do all this for me, doll. Not that I don't appreciate it and all!"

"But I want to!"

"...damn it, don't look at me like that. You're so fuckin' cute..."

He reciprocates however he can. He doesn't always have the time or energy to reciprocate the exact things you do for him, but he will make your life easier in every way he can. It might sound a little dismissive to say he throws money at your problems, but he can cut through a lot of red tape in your life and make sure you have the best of everything. Acts of service are your love language, and gift giving is his. I think once you both understand that, it's easier to find some kind of equilibrium.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke

There's a running theme with these little waifs—Akutagawa is not used to anyone trying to take care of him. Quite the opposite in fact. Even with Gin, he is the one trying to look after his younger sister.

Ryuunosuke treats your initial attempts to look after him with suspicion, then scorn. He's not a child, he doesn't need you fussing over him...but there's something irresistible about your continued efforts to make his life a little easier, his day a little brighter.

Even a plant that's been withering in the dark for god knows how long will grow when you put it in sunlight. He loses some of his rough edges around you. Not all of them, because that's who he is, but enough that you know everything you do is appreciated.

He's slow to reciprocate, but only because he doesn't really know how. He tests the waters with getting you a small bunch of flowers, or a bar of the chocolate he knows you like. The smile on your face is enough to convince him to do it more often.

However, once he sees you're actually neglecting your own needs by looking after him, the anger returns. This time it's not scornful and defensive, it's downright irritated. He doesn't need you slaving away over him and neglecting your own health!

"What are you, a fool? If you do not sit down I will make you sit down, do you understand me?"

He means it lovingly, I swear.

Nakajima Atsushi

Oh, baby boyyy.

Listen, he's barely even gotten used to people being civil to him, let alone trying to look after him on a daily basis. Atsushi is an anxious mess. You're doing too much for him! He appreciates it but you don't need to go so far—is that a bento you made for him!?

He's practically in tears every time you do something nice for him, which is gratifying but also deeply sad, considering how basic some of the gestures are.

"You...you saved me some leftovers!?"

"Yes—are you crying?"

"No!"

While Atsushi doesn't have a baseline for normal in romantic relationships, he's incredibly anxious to make sure he's not doing anything that would drive you away or make him seem like a burden. So literally the second you do anything for him at an inconvenience for yourself, he's putting his foot down. You are not allowed to put yourself second. Ever.

This isn't just for your own sake, but Atsushi's too. It kind of knocks him for six that someone is putting themselves out just to cater to his needs but he wouldn't be able to enjoy it. He figures you've probably got some issues of your own that make you put yourself in second place in terms of importance, and he's determined he won't be another person taking advantage of your generosity.

And feeling like a burden would seriously make him hate himself, so he can't stomach that. He will be the fastest to notice and put a stop to it.