#so these usually reliable sources just write whatever the fuck they want

[jolteonmchale]

regarding the community movie being pushed back to next summer:

every time joel mentions the community movie, a new article comes out misinterpreting something he said. in this case, he did say they're shooting next summer, but he said it on a podcast that was recorded earlier this year (i don't know exactly when it was recorded but i think it was around march) and when joel said "next summer" i'm pretty sure he meant this summer because the writers' strike hadn't started yet and filming in the summer (2023) was the plan at the time. filming might end up being pushed back to next summer because who knows when the strike will end, but I don't think it's been officially pushed back that far at this point.

[risuola]

HEADACHE — F. READER x SUKUNA RYOMEN ft. Yuji Itadori

Your head has been killing you all day but you tried to play it off as nothing to not worry your boyfriend, but he noticed and didwhat he could to ease your suffering.

cw: fluff, Itadori is 18 and is a vessel for Sukuna, reader is in pain (duh), things like SA and su1cide are mentioned (nothing discriptive though), there is like, one slightly suggestive joke I guess? it's fluff, let me remind you! — 1,7k words

a/n: yet another fluffed out piece of writing for the king, because I love him struggling to keep his authority, alright? there are also so many fics where Sukuna is just purely violent that I feel like him being everything but violent is very much in demand and I love him more gentle 🖤 i also often get headaches like the one described so it was my inspo, kinda.

It hurt. Your head had been killing you since this morning and slowly it was getting to the point where you couldn't even move. It felt like a storm had been raging inside your skull for hours, you couldn't think, couldn't eat, couldn't concentrate on anything all day, and three painkillers didn't help at all. Your vision was blurry, your balance was off, everything seemed too loud, too close, too bright, too intense. You wanted to scream, you cried, and even begged whatever there is in the universe to just take this pain away.

"I can't," you whispered, crying quietly into your pillow as night fell. "I can't, I can't..." You tried not to wake Yuji, you even acted like it hurt less than it really did, just so he wouldn't worry, but now you couldn't hold it anymore. Your hands were shaking, your vision went black, and you wanted to die.

You got up, quietly and carefully, and slowly padded to the bathroom, feeling your way through the walls because your vision wasn't reliable anymore, and you put your head under the ice-cold water. Unpleasant shivers ran down your spine, your breath came short, but you stayed there, begging the university to ease the agony. And it did, for a moment. It all came back when you threw a towel over your head, unable to withstand the cold anymore. There was no point, you were dying, there was no other way.

Defeated, you dried your hair as best you could and went back to bed, where the moment you laid down, Yuji's arm found its place over your middle. He was still asleep, thankfully, and you pushed a pillow over your face and dived into the darkness.

"Is this suicide?", a voice that you only hoped was the creation of your mind reached your ears and you ignored it for the time being. Yuji was sleeping, he didn't move his hand from over your belly, he couldn't... "It's unwise to ignore me."

"Please, I can't do this now..." you whispered and took the pillows away. It was wet with tears, and so was your face when you looked at him. It was Sukuna, but it seemed like he had very little control over Itadori's body. Or maybe he intentionally kept you close to him so that you would die of a heart attack, but the sudden rush of blood that made your heart pump much faster than usual only made you feel worse.

"You can't do what?"

"Why are you here?" you asked, wiping your face.

"I love watching people suffer, and you seem to be just the kind of show I'd enjoy."

"Of course you do..."

"What is the source of your pain?"

"My head hurts. So fucking bad."

"Poor little human," he chuckled, lifting his head and resting it on his hand for a better view. In any other situation you would have pushed him away, tried to distance yourself, but now you had no power to fight back, so you stayed where you were, in the emotionless embrace of a curse that lives inside your boyfriend.

"If you stepped out to enjoy my pain, please go fuck yourself. Not the best timing, curse."

"How rude," he chuckled, "as if you were in a position to speak to me like that. I can slice you to ribbons before that brat even thinks of taking control back. Oh, imagine how devastated he would be to wake up to the bloody mess of his little girlfriend."

"Oh, sure. How creative, threatening me with death, very original. Perhaps you should surprise me and use your little hocus pocus to ease the pain I feel instead of scaring me."

"You want me, the King of Curses, to heal a human?"

"Kindness would be a good look on you."

"Oh, you're so desperate," he laughed and you covered your eyes with your forearm, already tired of his shit. The silence hurt you, not to mention his amused tone.

"Get lost, Sukuna," you muttered. "If you're not going to help, then stay quiet."

"And who are you to order me around?" his long fingers clawed at your chin, forcing your head in his direction, and you lowered your arm to look at him. Red eyes almost glowed in the darkness of the night, but he looked calm. "Hmm? Little human, have you forgotten where your place is?"

"I know where my place is, but you're in my bed now, so the only rules that apply here are mine."

"What a mouth," he chuckled again. "I can make this headache worse, you know."

"By annoying me to death? You're doing great at that."

It really wasn't wise to push Sukuna's buttons like that, your luck was definitely going to run out sooner or later, and even if you thought you wanted to die because of the headache, that wasn't really what you wished for.

"Sukuna, please, don't be a dick, help a human out."

"Oh, but watching you in pain is so much more entertaining."

"Have you ever tried to be nice, or is the concept foreign?"

"Being nice doesn't hold any power."

"Oh, but it does. When people truly respect you, not because they're scared, that's a different kind of power. And you like power, right?"

"I'm the strongest, I don't care what maggots think of me as long as they kneel in fear."

"If those people are maggots, doesn't that make you like a maggot king or something?"

"Oh, you're pushing your luck."

"Sure, whatever," you smack his hand away from your face and put the pillow back over it. If he's not going to be helpful, what was the point of paying attention to him? Just because he wants it doesn't mean he has to get it.

"And now you plan to ignore me?"

With no answer, you just pressed the plush item harder to your face, hoping that the pressure would soothe you even a little, but no luck.

Sukuna achieved his goal of making your heart beat even faster when he suddenly climbed on top of you, pinning you under his body and throwing the pillow away. Both of your hands he pressed to the bed with only one of his own, and you looked at him with a combination of surprise, confusion, and a glimmer of fear. This was not an ideal situation in any universe.

"What now?"

"Oh, don't be so scared, you wanted me to help you, right?"

"I fail to notice where the helping part is..."

"You humans fail to notice a lot of things."

Ryomen continued to touch you, but his touch felt anything but intimate. It burned, it felt targeted when his palm brushed against your knees or your inner thigh. Wherever he pressed, you felt some pain.

"What on earth are you doin-"

"I advise you to shut up before I change my mind."

And so you did, still unsure of what was happening. Why was this man touching your skin when you could have sworn, he wasn't interested in any kind of human physical touch. He was toying with you, enjoying the way your heart was racing in your chest, how you struggled to free your hands from his relentless grasp, and how you tried so hard to stay calm when he knew your mind was racing 180 miles per hour and off the cliff.

"Such a simple human," he mocked, his fingers brushing way too close to your underwear to go unnoticed, and your hips bucked up to create just a little more distance. This had to be another kind of torture and he was having fun making you so pliable. His eyes never left your face and you struggled to maintain eye contact. "What if I opened a mouth on the palm of my hand right now?" he teased, and you didn't get the subtext at first, but once you did, the vision struck you in a way it shouldn't have.

"Christ, you're more perverted than I suspected a curse would be," you muttered, turning your head to the side, creating an opening for him to kiss the tear off your cheek.

"You don't know much about curses, sweetheart," he laughed directly into your ear, brushing it with his lips as he moved his hand higher, sliding it under your blouse to your hip. "There are some mindless curses out there that only focus on sexually abusing their victims." This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. But his tone didn’t change, he was amused more than anything. "But I'm not a simple, horny curse, don't be so afraid. I'm the king."

"For a king, you do kinda often need to remind people about it..." you muttered, breathing in and out, focusing on this simple thing to avoid turning into a mess.

"Remember my advice?"

"Yup."

You closed your mouth and a wave of pulsating pain washed over your whole body again, radiating from your head as if a bomb had just exploded here. You closed your eyes tightly, tears once again threatening to flow from under your squeezed eyelashes. It hurt so much that you couldn't think straight, everything was blurry and you had trouble even recognizing the man above you. You wanted to pull your hands out of his hold, to put them on your temples, to do anything to ease the throbbing ache, but he wouldn't let you.

His hand pressed against your forehead. A moment later, the grip on your wrists loosened and the man rolled off you, taking a place beside you and pulling you into his chest. When you opened your eyes, no sign of black marks met your sight.

"Did he help you?" Yuji asked, his voice soft and cooing, but with worry clearly intertwined with his words. "Does it still hurt?"

"Huh?"

"Your head, does it hurt?"

"No... You asked him for it?"

"Yeah... I noticed you were in pain today, but you tried to play it off as nothing. And you didn't sleep and cried and I saw how many pills you took and still hurt," he spoke so softly, kissing your head tenderly and caressing your back with care and affection. "I'm sorry, I guess he had to scare you a little because, you know... ego."

"Thank you, baby," you pressed your lips to his chest, nuzzling into him even more.

"Oh, don't be, you know I'd do anything for you."

Next day you noticed that every bruise you had on your body wasn’t there anymore. Every hurt you earned through your every day clumsiness and trainings disappeared.

So that’s why Sukuna was touching you.

[in-flvx]

Look... the point of all the "sirius and james are extraordinarily bright" posts is NOT to say that needing or even just WANTING to study between tests is smth that makes remus (the person this usually is about) less intelligent than he actually was, nor to shit on people who do that, or call them dumb.

We know for a fact that sirius considers snape a highly intelligent person. And snape spent most of his time after the dada owl revising. He does make fun of him for the way he writes, but not for the fact that he keeps writing until the papers are collected. He never says a word about remus deciding to study more, other than that it's not his preferred way to spend the time between exams. He regards all of the golden trios comments as equally valuable, even though hermione studies the most, and the others just do it when necessary.

Sirius has a good understanding of the divide between book smarts and street smarts, and he doesn't discriminate. He enjoys the Wensley twins ingenuity, and Harry's joy in quidditch, he regards mundungus fletchers intel as important and dumbledores plans as overall working for the grand scheme. He never shows impatience with remus' way of regarding the world around them (other than when sirius is bored and remus wants him to study with him)

The point of this is never. NEVER. That remus is stupid in any kind of way. Nobody thinks that wanting to study for exams is a sign of stupidity. If that were the case, there would be a large part of the fandom who think of hermione as barely literate or whatever. Bc she studies all the times, as well as between exams. But this is not the case.

The point of the "james and sirius were smart though" posts is this: they became animagi at 15, and helped peter to do the same. They developed the two way mirrors (once again, most accurate and reliable form of long distance communication in the wizarding world) at some point before their last year. They were two of the people who developed the map of hogwarts after all of that. They also were regarded as incredibly bright by Minerva McGonagall (who rarely gives out compliments EVER - even to those she likes, yet she was complimenting sirius at his worst), Flitwick at the same time, snape whenever he went on one of his angry rants about james, hagrid whenever he felt like it, and dumbledore - regularly about james, once about sirius after his death.

So. Again.

The point of these posts is not to be mean to remus for shits and giggles.

It's about the fact that most of marauders art and writing almost compulsively includes lines and comments about sirius and james being stupid. It's about the trend of making james a himbo - to only show his intelligence in some arbitrary grades, if ever, and to make the people around him always commenting on his stupidity.

It's about the fact that all of sirius' accomplishments have to be sourced out to remus. Its about how sirius' general interest in the world at large has to be focused solely to the fact that he wants to fuck remus. Or be fucked by him whatever.

Its about all those stupid ass incorrect quotes that call sirius and james stupid to their faces. It's about all the fics that do the same.

This isn't about the sirius fans calling remus stupid, or showing him in a light that makes him look stupid.

It's about the fact that it's barely possible to find anything about sirius or james in which they aren't explicitly called stupid in the text of the incorrect quote, art, or fic presenting them. Always in service of making remus, lily, and regulus look more intelligent

[ms-demeanor]

Hi Ms Demeanor. I read your recent news post and was wondering if you knew any websites/newspapers that have generally reliable stories, but aren't super overwhelming? I know I should be better informed on what's going on in the world and my own country (I'm American) in ways that aren't looking at what people on social media are mad about, but a lot of news outlets I've heard about have just so much stuff. Hopefully this source would be a stepping stone to later feel less lost. Thanks a lot

1 - Whatever your local basically unaffiliated news provider is. This might be a local paper, it might be a local radio station, it might be a local TV station, but it is NOT the local alternative weekly or the local talk radio station.

This is difficult because a lot of local media is actually owned by bigger, biased distributors (in the US this is Sinclair Media with broadcast TV, for example).

Start super local, as local as possible - there is probably a weekly local newspaper that prints three thousand copies that get distributed at grocery stores and your closest library. Start with that, whatever that is. That is going to be the place where you actually learn about what's going on with your specific city council.

From there, branch out to whatever free, good-ish quality websites are local. I'm in LA so look at KTLA5. I'll also read the Las Vegas Review-Journal and the San Jose Mercury News. Generally you're looking for something that isn't screamingly biased, full of talking heads, 24-hours, or paywalled.

2 - READ. Even if I'm looking at KTLA, which is a TV station, I do not watch the stories I read the headlines, click the links to the stories, and will investigate further. Usually TV stories are sourced from newspapers or stringers so sometimes this means clicking over the AP to read 500 words of a story that only got 200 words on the broadcast. But READ. Broadcast news, ALL BROADCAST NEWS, has a time limit. These days there is less of a restriction on story length in print because it's all online, so you will get more news by reading it.

3 - Go regional. Look at the big regional paper's headlines or maybe even get a subscription. For me this is the LA Times, for you it might be the Chicago Tribune or the New York Times.

4 - Go national. READ (do not watch) the headlines on a national news station. CNN or Fox is actually better than the New York Times for this. You just wanna see if there's anything huge that you're missing that's being reported on by a national outlet. Read the World headlines and the US headlines, and hopefully everything big has been covered by another one of the things you've looked at.

5 - Go international. Go to a news source from in a language you speak that is not specifically produced in your country and look at the "US News" section. I like BBC, Al Jazeera, ABC.Net.AU, SCMP, and AP News for this. It is fucking BONKERS how isolated the US is in our news when it comes to looking at things from an international perspective. Go look up some of the coverage of the 2020 election from the BBC. It's so incredibly useful to see how other countries are describing your country AND it's also useful to see how other countries prioritize and organize world news.

6 - Find someplace that publishes in-depth investigative pieces and read at least a couple of them a month. I'm talking LONG investigative pieces. Five thousand words minimum. Buzzfeed on FinCen or Mother Jones reporting on prisons or the DailyBeast covering Qanon kind of long. DEEP investigations. Read OLD investigations. Read new investigations. Read about people who went undercover at Amazon.

Break this up into little chunks. If you get overwhelmed by the news in general (i can relate!) just look at the headlines and a couple stories in your local area and then check out US headlines on the BBC.

You don't have to read everything, it's impossible for everyone to be informed about everything, but start by at least checking local headlines and then check US headlines from a source outside the US.

Honestly, really, seriously, Buzzfeed News is a pretty okay way to get started looking at the news. They have a good mix of very short, superficial stories and in-depth coverage and they usually don't have so many stories in a day that you'll get buried just refreshing the page.

I'm hesitant to endorse all of their coverage because a lot of it is inane celebrity shit, even on their news page, and they do some stuff that I cannot fucking stand (the editorial decision to perpetually refer to Qanon as "the quanon mass delusion" makes me want to tear my hair out) but overall they aren't bad. Maybe check headlines on Buzzfeed and then search the headlines that you're interested in from Buzzfeed on the AP site.

Anyway, I don't do this all every single day. I will usually read headlines on one or two sites every day and probably find three long-ish stories to dig into, but I try to rotate through a lot of sources and if something from one source sounds weird I will check it against at least three other sources with different perspectives. It is actually, genuinely extremely useful to see how Fox-the-news-channel is reporting on immigration compared to how Fox-the-entertainment-channel is reporting on it compared to how Al Jazeera is reporting on it compared to how the LA Weekly is reporting on it.

But yeah, if at all possible you should be reading news from a variety of local, regional, national, and international sources. Once you get into the habit of reading news it is actually pretty easy to stick with, and the more news you read from a wide variety of sources the better you'll get at spotting inconsistencies, editorializing, and the absolute fucking crime that is headline writing.

(I have been a person who writes headlines, but not in this utterly toxic online media environment and I do not envy modern headline writers but I also cannot forgive them; knock that shit off dudes that shit is an ethics violation)

Anyway, that's probably a lot. Good luck.

[ciaran-archive]

Serious question. How do you write long stories? Is there a technique or advice for that? No matter what story I have in mind, I can't seem to tell it in anything longer than 1 to 2k. Writing 5k is tiring already, where do people seriously get that stamina to even do 50 or 100 or 200k? It's mind-blowingly amazing.

there is nothing less worthy or amazing about writing shorter fic - i know writers who struggle with it, and i’ve come to inhabit that position somewhat myself, though i’m determined to stay in practice. it’s a different skillset, that’s all. your fics aren’t worse for being shorter.

that said i will not deny that longer fics generate far more engagement from fandoms simply by virtue of updating more often  → being on top of the ao3 tag when people first open it  → getting more clicks and being considered less ‘frivolous’ (which is bullshit, but what can you do)

if you’re dead sure you want to write longer fic, i would first recommend reading this post about writing drabbles, which i promise is relevant to the point i’m about to make.

Because drabbles are about one moment. You don't need to know exactly what happened before this moment of dialogue, or what happens next, or what's happening around it. You don't have to do any of the planning you might do for a longer fic, but you also don't have the space to let the scene lead in and develop naturally. You've got 100 words.

a lot of writing a longer story is about establishing the scope of your story, deciding what beats you want to hit. there are a lot of ways to go about this; [some people like to outline. i don’t outline, ever, so if you want help for outlining you should look at the other sources on the internet. there are quite a few.] i’m going to talk about the way i’ve learnt to do it.

so when i’m writing a short fic, the thing i’m considering is one or two ideas, and one or two moments (short in this case being under 5k). this also depends on the style i’m going for - fics with sparser styles can fit more scenes, if i’m going for my usual style, each scene takes about 700-2000 words at least and therefore takes up more space. a lot of how i eased into writing longer fics was focusing on stylistic changes - you can push up the word count of a fic by going moment by moment. note the difference between: 

They’d been standing next to each other as they spoke; now Felix turned to him in the rain, startled by the admission of weakness. He reached out clumsily, bumping his hand against Ryan’s until he took the hint and grabbed on.

and 

The rain made it near-impossible to hear Ryan speaking, but the harshness in his voice would’ve been audible through a hurricane. “So you ran away,” he said, like he hadn’t expected this. 

“Course I did,” Felix snapped. “What was I supposed to do? Stick it out and let her kill me?” I almost did, he added under his breath.

Ryan’s sensitive werewolf ears, of course, caught that. “I’m glad you did,” he amended, as though it pained him to admit it. “I would’ve - I did the same. It’s all you can do, sometimes.”

Felix turned to him, blinking through the curtains of water. Ryan was slouching in the downpour, eyes narrowed elsewhere. Mostly he was startled by the admission of weakness - rare in a person who prided himself so thoroughly on being reliable and independent. He reached out, struck by the urge to offer whatever clumsy comfort he was capable of; his hand bumped against Ryan’s, and he held it there until Ryan caught up and wove their fingers together. 

His hands were wet and cold, and he gripped so hard Felix’s very human bones ached, but he wouldn’t have pulled away now. Not when he’d been the one to offer.

it’s not even that one is necessarily better than the other - they both work, and they’re working in different ways. they’re set in the same scene, conveying the same beat - reaching out to comfort someone in the wake of vulnerability. it’s just that one is longer, and therefore gives you more room to - set the scene (rain, being unable to hear each other) - use dialogue to show what is being told in the first example - convey extra information about the characters (actually, if this was a scene i was writing in a fic or novel, the stuff about ryan being a werewolf would already be known to the reader, so i would use that space to convey something else about ryan in that moment) - elaborate on felix’s internal state: the transition from defensive to curious/surprised to gentle - linger for a sentence or two on the moment of connection

this is about unraveling a scene and making it bigger than it was, breaking it apart into tinier beats and describing each one in the narrative. what happens when you do that and your fic doesn’t get much bigger still?

back to scope! we understand, as people who read and write and live, that the part of a story that you choose to depict in a narrative is not the entire story: events happen off-screen. some of them happened before the story started, and they will continue to happen after the story ends. the narrative is only showing you an arc, a particular series of events. 

when you’re writing fic, you have in fact tremendous amounts of flexibility when it comes to the scope of a story. you can write something that is about a single moment in canon, and trust that your audience is following along because they have the context already. so you don’t need to waste time on setting it up, which often means - if you’re given to a certain kind of fic writing (canon compliant / small divergences / missing scenes / character studies) your fics will end up not being very long because you’re not reiterating what you don’t need to reiterate. your idea is small because it inhabits a small space, is squished between canon events, and so doesn’t ever get bigger. if this is what is happening, it’s good, and you should try to preserve this going forward. 

people who are writing longer fic are, simply, working with bigger ideas*. they’re not just going “what if he said what he wanted in this scene instead of going home?” and writing the bit where they kiss immediately after - they’re also going “what if this changed everything in the future? what happens if they tackle all their problems together from now on? what new problems arise from this?”

*hopefully they are working with bigger ideas. i have seen longfics that are just incredibly fucking tedious because the author swallowed a thesaurus and had a tenuous grasp on plotting to begin with. 

that’s for a canon divergent fic, presumably. you might also be writing a post-canon fic, with its own set of pre-fic events and a new set of problems to deal with. currently, for example, i’m writing a fic where akira and goro were dating after canon, broke up, and stayed together in a deeply dysfunctional way after that - and the consequences for them now that they’re forced to deal with the mess they’ve made of their lives, together and apart. so now they have to deal with: the catalyst for dealing with their old problems, which is a problem in itself, and their old problems, which have been festering for a really long time.

which forms the core of the scope i’m talking about. i have to go through a bunch of scenes to set this fic up - i need to show their old problems and their new problems, i need to explain why the old ones haven’t been dealt with already, i need to set up the potential for dealing with them and the necessity of doing so, i need to give them places to start, and also i want to allow them to fail so they can choose to start again. i know these things because i have some idea of the kind of story i want to tell. if i didn’t know this, my story would not go anywhere by itself, and i would have to start outlining scene by scene the way people who actually outline do it, and i hate doing that because then i never write. 

if you can outline and it doesn’t make you want to chew wood, then i highly recommend picking up the habit. it’s very useful, and the methodical approach is a fantastic failsafe for the moments when you (me) get stuck on your fic (breakup au) and have to stop writing for several weeks in order to figure out a single fucking plot point that will let you move forward and

anyway. 

so yeah! to sum up;

find a larger scope for your story

get in the habit of picking apart beats into discrete moments and guiding the narrative through them

learn to outline if you can

last thing - which is perhaps the most vital and least reliable - stamina. 

you WILL lose interest in half the longer fics you write. it WILL suck. if you think you know pain because you have 700 words of a fic and can’t get through the last 400, i promise you it is like that but much worse because you have 7000 words now, or 17000 words, and you are stuck with no way forward. it will suck so BAD. 

don’t beat yourself up over it. once you’re in the habit of writing something long, you will retain that habit, and be able to apply it elsewhere. the words aren’t wasted, they’re practice, and they’re worth what they’ve taught you.

but! all the scope and internal scene-building and outlines won’t help you if you do not (and this is not as bad as everyone makes it sound) actually write. you HAVE to learn to actually write. you have to figure out what you like about writing and make a longfic outline [/ scene beats notes chart / themes mind map / tumblr tag of inspiring quotes and photography] that consists entirely of stuff you love and then you have to sit down and write your fic. it is not terribly scary. it’s okay to fail, but you also have no way around this. 

i hope this helped, and good luck!

[lordelmelloi2]

How does Waver enjoying video games affect your own opinion of video games?

AHA That's kind of funny.... A couple of weeks ago for some reason I got it in my head that Waver was a liker of Niche Japanese games but I was asking around for a source on that, realized that I Was The Source, and had to disqualify it because despite all of my Waver meta UNLESS I CAN CITE IT IN TEXT IM NOT RELIABLE...

there's a few things we know about Waver's gaming habits

1) He's a 'passionate researcher of Japanese games' (said by Flat in CF)

2) He'll order a game if he thinks it looks interesting, from a catalog (F/SF)

3) He likes war strategy games like Admirable Tactics, the game that Iskandar bought in FZ (mats, FGO, etc.) but it's probably well known that it's also a nostalgia thing for him too

4) He's also one of those guys who becomes aware of how gaming studio staff changes quality of the game and how systems change if the direction changes or something etc. etc. in the FGO Akihabara event he goes on a gaming rant to 15yr old Alexander and almost says "FUCK" out loud in the store loudly before being stopped for language by Alexander as well. I think this is a funny quality of his and I love it personally because I also think that staff changing can change ways that the direction of a game goes

5) He doesn't like otome games because he's a normal person who isn't really interested in games where the goal is Usually dating school girls lmfao (I should add it's probably the best idea to avoid those things if one is a teacher...) in Case Files anime when Flat gave him that one gal-ge w/the schoolgirls on it he was like. get the hell out of my hospital room

6) He always tries to 100% games (CF event FGO)

7) No matter if he enjoyed a game or not, he'll always write honest feedback to the developers and suggestions... because of this, he'd get entered in sweepstakes and win prizes and such and apparently this happens frequently enough within the span of 10-15 years that by FSF he is willing to just Give whatever he's gotten to Flat if he asks for it. That's how Flat got the JTR catalyst! IIRC also apparently if he wanted something he'd just order it directly.

8) He plays online matches sometimes. IDK what game. Could be fucking chess for all we know. This is one of his lines in F/AZO event

9) He has multiple consoles. this is just something we know from the CF manga in general. he plays handheld too <3

as for how this affects my own enjoyment of video games....

.....Actually, it's entirely separate 😅 But for the most part. As a person who wants to/has worked on games before, I appreciate his attitude towards offering honest feedback. I'd like to have him on either as a beta tester or developer of some sort because I think his knowledge of games is deeply useful. If he has a suggestion, I would want to talk about it in realistic development terms, so I could explain to him why we could or couldn't do X or Y in a game... or something like that. Basically he's the kind of person I want to bounce ideas off of firsthand. Also I want to steal his consoles and play all the games I never got to play off of them

[hyunhour]

right behind you ] [ felix au

a/n: yoohoo! been wanting to write a yandere themed fic for the longest time and finally got around to it. note that i do not condone this sort of behaviour and it certainly isn’t meant to be glamourized. yes, this story isn’t supposed to be all sunshine and rainbows. loosely inspired by “never ever getting rid of me – christopher fitzgerald” this is for fictional purposes only! it doesn’t depict the actuality of my sunshine boy at all!

yandere!felix, barista!hyunjin, barista!reader, unrequited love, obsessive love, toxicity

tw: yandere themes

word count: 2k

walking home alone after midnight had been a common occurrence for you after taking late night shifts at work. maybe you should start taking earlier shifts instead.

—

Your steps were heavy, slugged as you dragged your feet across the concrete path. There was only the sound of the wind howling as it gently caresses you, accompanied by the music softly playing from your earphones.

The streets were dimly lit, only neon lights of pubs being a reliable source of light. All the stores that lined the pavement were closes, shutters locked shut. There was not a single soul in sight, besides yours of course. It felt lonely, but comforting, the tranquility of the serene night enveloping you in a newfound safety.

« Shuffle, shuffle. »

More shuffling.

You quickened your pace. You were dubious about whether those footsteps were yours, but they weren’t matching with yours at all.

So, you’re not alone after all.

Anxiety washed over you, goosebumps prickling at the surface of your skin. You no longer felt the peace that the night held you in, only fear and panic surging from within you. Perhaps, you were overreacting. It could very well be a passer-by, just wanting to hurry back home, like you.

You shrugged off your doubts momentarily, warranting yourself a bit of relief. Right, you are probably overreacting.

But, just to be sure. You took a sharp left turn on your heels, opposite from the usual route you took home. Just as you thought, the footsteps trailed behind you. They were slow and steady, as if it was mocking you. You could just turn, it was right behind you.

Your hands stiffened in the pockets of your jacket, gathering sweat in your palms. You know that the way down this road was going to be to your old elementary school, otherwise known as a dead end. This person had to stop sooner or later at one of the houses scattered around the area. That had to be it. You’re overthinking this all.

« Shuffle. Shuffle. »

It had been a good five minutes of you walking down this pathway. This person is still hot on your trail, close enough for you to hear them but far away enough for them to.. to?

You’re overthinking. Overreacting. Over–

“Hah,”

That wasn’t you. Your lips were firmly pressed into a tight line, which made it harder for you to breathe in the cold weather. The only sounds escaping from you was the light wheezing of your lungs from your ragged breathing.

Your legs were losing vigour, instead they were shaking. Your stomach felt knotted, the deepening anxiety further tightening it. The inky darkness of the night no longer felt welcoming, instead it began to engulf you. You felt the invisible walls closing in on you as the footsteps behind you, got closer, and closer.

Right behind you.

Just turn.

Turn and see it.

Finally, mustering all the bits of bravery inside of you, your steps came to a halt. You had to be sure. This was the only way.

The footsteps had stopped as well.

Dread twisted in your gut as you turned around, painfully slow.

Within a blink of an eye, a dark figure that you couldn’t quite make out from the lack of light, sped off to the alley right around the corner. It was quick, and it almost made you doubt yourself, that you even saw it in the first place.

All your self-doubts dissolved immediately once you noticed something had actually fallen out of the person’s hold. It flayed around helplessly in the light breeze on the concrete path. It was a handkerchief, a pale cream coloured one, delicate to the touch. Your hands briefly hovering above, before retrieving it.

Your eyes scanned the foreign object, your fingers just ghosting along the seam lines. Down the handkerchief, your finger continued to trail.

« F.L »

Were those initials? They had been sewed on in a garish red thread, completely in contrast with the cream coloured cloth.

You slipped it into your pocket without thinking much of it, your mind was clouded with pride, the fact that you were actually able to ward off the creep.

—

It has been a day since that odd incident.

Hyunjin was busying himself with making the drinks, avoiding the cashier at all costs in order to dodge the multiple girls that lined up just for him. You laughed silently to yourself as yet another girl approached you, the cashier, for Hyunjin’s help instead.

“Sorry bub, he’s busy right now.” you meekly apologized, a faint smile plastered onto your face.

The girl before you whined, her eyes glued onto Hyunjin, who was at the back of the counter. He sneered, he lost count of how many times you had to say that fixated reply to almost every customer. He almost felt bad for you.

You finished tending to all the customers, immediately scurrying over to Hyunjin to help him out with making the drinks. You were adjusting the apron around your body before Hyunjin holds an arm out in front of you.

“Don’t.” he pauses briefly, “your coffee is fucking bitter.”

Your lips part apart in shock, smacking him at his arm. He winces in pain before retracting himself and scoffing.

“I’m trying, okay?” you roll your eyes at him, not amused at his usual bluntness. He reiterates you in a mocking way, rolling his eyes in return as well.

“Where the fuck is your nametag?” he stares down at your breast pocket, where sure enough, it was empty. You were hoping that he wouldn’t realize about your missing nametag, which you left at home. “Stop cussing at work, you asshole. I promise to bring it tomorrow,” you retorted, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Are you kidding me? You had like, one job–“ he berated, a string of incoherent words mumbled under his breath. You just couldn’t be bothered to even listen to his nagging anymore, thus putting on a deaf ear and just nodding your head to whatever words he relentlessly spewed out. “I swear your nametag spends more time at home than at work. You’re lucky, boss doesn’t know.” he remarked, causing you to grunt in response.

“Boss doesn’t care, thus boss will never know.” you smirked smugly at him, before distancing yourself from him as he flings a couple more vulgar insults at your face.

You had recently just started working as a barista, after Hyunjin pestered you about being lonely at work. It was another impulsive decision that Hyunjin easily manipulated you into taking without ever doing a double take. How could you resist when he pulled out those puppy dog eyes and pouty lips? Annoying fuck.

The bell against the front door chimed, a clear indication that a new customer had just stepped foot.

“Welcome!” both you and Hyunjin greeted, softly laughing at each other because of the unplanned perfect timing.

You were ready to receive another order, probably from another hormonal teenage girl that was ready to pounce on Hyunjin.

Boy, you were wrong.

It was a man. A very beautiful man at that. He stood at the door, soft eyes meeting your tentative ones. He sweeps his silver tresses back with his hand, before offering you one of the most gingerly-looking smiles. Your heart fluttered at the enticing sight. He didn’t go straight for the cashier. His eyes darted from the menu that was on the wall behind you, and then back to you, shyly avoiding your eyes now. What happened to that confidence he strutted in with?

He lingered at the entrance for a while, taking hesitant steps as he ventures further in to the café. You had gotten tired of waiting around for him, so you decided to help out Hyunjin—this time with refilling the coffee beans into the hopper. He so stubbornly insisted upon you not making any drinks until he could properly guide you, which would be after the store closes.

“That dude is iffy,” Hyunjin mumbles under his breath, briefly turning to face the entrance of the store, and then back to you.

“Iffy? Yeah, you.” you mock, and he nudges your arm a little too hard.

“I’m serious, Y/N.” he says, before leaning down to your ear, “he keeps looking at you, and like– salivating? Not over the food, but you.” You follow him, and sure enough, the silver-haired man had been staring right back at you unabashedly before looking away moments later. “Of all things.. you?” he reiterates, putting his finger on his chin, as if deep in thought.

You almost choke at his choice of words, caught off guard by his bluntness yet again. You pinch his arm, earning a whimper from him before he returns the same pinch onto your arm, if not more painful.

“Fuck you.” you hiss under your breath, pulling away.

“I was being a nice friend, looking out for you.” he hisses in return. You and Hyunjin both bicker for a while, causing you to spill some coffee beans onto the countertop, earning another earful from Hyunjin. God, he wasn’t even the manager but he sure was niggling like one.

“May I..” a voice from a distance interrupted your bickering, and you were almost thankful for it. You stick your tongue out at Hyunjin playfully before tending to the cashier.

“Yes! How may I help you?” maybe you were a little too excited, the poor boy in front of you jumping a little, obviously surprised at your gleefulness. It was the same person that had been standing around the entrance of the café, he was also always picking at the bed of his nails with his teeth, a habit that you noticed from just a few moments of looking at him. You felt an inkling of pity for this boy.

“I’d–” he choked on his words, his cheeks reddening. You chuckled softly, this kid probably has some major social anxiety. It wasn’t new to you to receive shy customers.

“It’s okay.” you motioned for him to continue, nodding your head. His eyes locked with yours briefly, a glow of light circled around his pupils momentarily, sparse freckles adorned his pale face as he chewed incessantly on the bottom of his lip. Out of anxiety, probably.

You had to break away the eye contact, feeling tense under his watchful eyes. It had gotten a bit uncomfortable with him doing more of staring than talking. This wasn’t normal.

“I’d like..” he resumes, sucking in a deep breath, “a medium vanilla frappe.” the sides of his lips tug upwards tremulously, and his eyes begin to waver.

“That’ll be $6!” you chirped, trying to coat the awkwardness within you with glee instead. He nodded, his hands frantically fishing for change in his pockets.

You open your palm up to him, not losing notice of the way he stares at it. His eyes linger for a moment before placing his money onto your palm, his fingertips just barely grazing the surface of your skin. It all went by painfully slow. You sighed, retracting your hand. He, however, seemed a lot more happier than before. His eyes glistening still at the newfound physical interaction, although small; it was still something. A wide smile crept up onto his face.

Brushing it all off, you returned his change by sliding it over the counter. Usually, you wouldn’t be that rude but this customer particularly did actually feel iffy as per Hyunjin’s words. You took in his smile that disappeared, a solemn frown in place instead on his freckled face.

“Your name, Sir?” you questioned, readying a plastic cup and a permanent marker. He cleared his throat, “Felix.”

“Felix Lee.”

You could’ve sworn your heart had stopped beating for a moment. Moments of the previous night flickered on and off in your head, whizzing by quickly before you could even comprehend what you had just realized.

« F.L »

Felix Lee.

“I’ll be waiting, Y/N.” he coos, before backing away from you. His words, his tone and the volume of his already low voice, letting goosebumps bubbling to the surface of your skin. The familiar feeling of anxiousness washing over you once again, fear having a grip on your throat, causing you to have the inability to even interrogate him.

When did you tell him your name? Right, it must be from your nametag–

Your nametag?

Your finger ghosted over the bare breast pocket of your apron, no nametag pinned onto it. You recall only remembering your nametag once, which was your first day of work. Other than that, it was stuck at home.

This all had to be some sort of sick, sick coincidence.

[wowheadquarters]

don't be shy, drop ALL your Kel'Thuzad headcanons~

All of them? Hm. I don’t know if I remember all of them. Also, I stopped keeping track of WoW some time in the middle of the Battle for Azeroth, because it can either be WoW whcih I enjoy or shitwreck, and I chose WoW, which isn’t what Blizzard/Activision is currently serving- I meant to say that most likely my headcanons aren’t Shadowlands compatibile.

Anyway. Kel’thuzad headcanons of various importance as I remember them.

Kel’thuzad is his actual given name, it’s not a pseudonym or anything.

In Thalassian “kel’thuzad” mean “seeker of the truth”. (In Darnassian the same phrase is “keil tassad” and in Zandali “kel’ta sad”.)

Kel’thuzad speaks Common and Thalassian fluently. Before the Dark Portal opened he knew some phrases in Dwarven (conversational) and Gnomish (related to transport industry and mathematic). He can also speak Zandali with varying accents (mostly Amani), but he knows only five or six Zandali signs (he can sign his name, but that’s it).

After the Dark Portal opened, Kel’thuzad tried and failed to learn Orcish. He gained the skill later when it was a trial-and-error learning by communicating with Ner’zhul. Due to that Kel’thuzad’s accent when speaking Orcish is not “Human,” but distinctly Shadowmoon.

He also learned Nerubian from... well, the dead Nerubians. He can now both speak and write fluently even with encryption.

(There are 3 ways of Nerubian ecryptions and they can be simultaneously applied. This way there exist 7 versions of encryption plus 1 unencrypted text. These are known as the Eight Webs of writing. Plain text is written in the First Web, triple encryptin is the Eighth Web.)

He can read (but not speak) Nathrezim, and somewhat read and speak Shath’Yar, the language of the Old Gods. He would understand Quiraji if he ever encountered it, because it is very close to Nerubian (like Czech and Slovakian, I imagine).

The Language of Death, by the Scourge usually referred to as Deathspeak, is an artificial language created by Kel’thuzad. It is based on all languages he knew at the point of creating it, and is fairly easy to learn if you find a willing teacher. It was created for the members of the Cult of the Damned to understand ach other without them feeling like one language/race is put above the other, and to partially control their thoughts, as the language specifically hasn’t got some words or phrases (such as “rebellion”). Orwell would be proud.

He was brownhaired, but he greyed out fairly quickly when Ner’zhul settled in his head without paying any rent.

He was from Kul’Tiras. (I still want him to necromance a sunken ship. And a chalk cliff.)

His family name is Naxrierre. There is a theory that Naxrierres were a witch coven that became civilized with years, which is mostly spread by naysayers to explain the family’s talent towards magic. Another theory claims that they are a part-elven bastards which would besides the magic explain the name.

Kel’thuzad took the elf-Naxrierr theory to heart and in his ambition for one of his sons to make it somewhere else than the navy agve him a Quel’dorei name.

The suffix -ramas in Nerubian signifies not encessarily a necropolis but any place to permanently home dead bodies. “Naxxramas” is basically “Nax(rierre)’s tomb” but in Nerubian. 

As a mage in Dalaran Kel’thuzad studied arcanophysic, a way to describe and measure magic. This field is where all the calibration of spells or even negating spells comes from. He became the sole teacher of it in Dalaran, because he was the only one enthusiastic enough about it to bother.

He was that type of teacher who didn’t give homeworks, he hated correcting them. He also had his classes in the most unreasonable hours, such as 3 AM, because he had a busy schedule and non-existent sleep pattern.

Since Kel’thuzad’s banishment the knowledge of arcanophysics among the Dalaran mages has drasticaly declined and is nearly nonexistent nowadays. All books Kel’thuzad had written on it have been sealed away, which removed nearly all reliable sources from the public access.

Kel’thuzad actually had good relationships with his colleagues. He helped Alonda with her fild research on Trolls (hence his speaking Zandali).

His closest friend was Anthonidas. They used to be classmates once upon the time.

What really undermined Kel’thuzad’s trust and belief in Kirin Tor was what happened to Khadgar. He realized that Kirin Tor is not going to act if given a warning, and not going to help if hearing a plea.

He still tried to warn Kirin Tor before what he didn’t know was the Scourge. He had noticed the Amani “moving out of the way”. “Whatever will happen, and I believe that this time it will be the dead, because the demons haven’t tried that yet, it will happen in a single line from Lordareon to Quel’Danas. We know the Amani can see into the future, and they are clearing out of this path.” Dismissed as a doomsayer, he wasn’t really persistent in his warnins.

Ner’zhul’s talks to Kel’thuzad began as especially persistent migraines. Whenever Kel’thuzad tried to tell Anthonidas that his condition is serious, he was sent off with a mug of peacebloom tea and an advice not to stay up so late, and maybe lay off some stress.

The teacher who taught Thrall in his early years such stuff as writing, that was Kel’thuzad in disguise when he was rectuiting in and around Durnholde Keep.

No, Kel’thuzad has no idea the little pet-orc he was trying to groom and later kidnap for the Cult of the Damned (What a better liteunant than the one you raise yourself?) is Thrall, the Warchief of the Horde.

Kel’thuzad was tasked with finding and preparing the perfect new host for Ner’zhul. He was trying to overthrow the Lich King, so he picked Arthas as a paladin of Light whom he believed strong willed enough to handle it. And at the start of the story Arthas was.

His second choice for Lich King would have been Kael’thas.

He shuffled his cards in the deck of “Scourge politics” so that Bolvar Fordragon would take the Helm of Domination after Arthas. Players greta victory? Just according to keikaku.

He had (and still has) a “wanted poster” for Garrosh Hellscream. He really wanted him into the Scourge army. The reward was a whole necropolis with units.

Naxxramas had a dedicated “catkeeper” tasked with taking care of Mr. Bigglesworth and cleaning the acid/slime vats. Her name was Gwendoline, usually called Gwen, she is now one of Garrosh’s ghost children. Gwen died during the attack on Theramore where she was working as a spy for the Scourge.

Liches feed off people emotions and minds. The Lich Kign keeps it secret (even from Kel’thuzad) to keep them starved and obedient. The passive “nibbling” causes that people around liches start to be unfeeling.

Kel’thuzad has developed the Cure for the Plague quite early on. Ner’zhul made him test the plagues seeds on himself.

Speakig of that, Ner’zhul (and later Arthas as the Lich King) had a complete control over Kel’thuzad’s body, so if he refused to carry out an order, Ner’zhul could just make him do it anyway.

Additionally, the Lich King could kep him going despite injuries, exhaustion &c. Arthas fancied himself thinking that h killed Kel’thuzad, but the truth is that the cumulative injuries (several broken bones, stab wounds, a concussion, frostbites, poisonings), exhaustion and starvation were enough to kill Kel’thuzad twice over, no hammer needed. Ner’zhul just in that moment let Kel’thuzad die, because that was what he needed.

He used to play Hearthstone a lot when he was alive. He had a very good Hunter Murlock tribal deck.

He is asexual, and quite possibly aromantic too. In his words: “I believe in love on the first sight. And I am probably blind or something, as it seems.”

His favourite colour is purple.

Shortly before the capture of Bolvar Fordragon Kel’thuzad re-bound his phylactery from the whole urn to a single shard. The shard was sold by a cult of the Damned agent in Kul’Tiras to Taelia Fordragon as a lucky amulet.

Whenever as a lich Kel’thuzad regained his form, he always found himself knee-deep in water due to some fucking coincidences, starting with the Sunwell.

Speaking of Sunwell, he carries in himself  “a spark of Sunwell”. this has many benefits, such as power or not giving a fuck about Light being super-effective against the undead. It is a thing to be revealed out of the blue without prior warning when we need to reset the Sunwell (again).

He has enough knowledge of Troll and Orc shamanism to be considered a shaman, and too analytical and scientific mind to be actually good at it.

He also had made an oath to the Amani tribe that everything he’s learned from them would never be used to harm any Troll. It is why Kel’thuzad was not responsible for the havoc wrought in Zul’drak.

Naxxrams “responds” to Kel’thuzads emotions and feelings and even physical state. When he gets discorporated (killed), Naxxramas enters “save battery” mode. Naxxramas’ usual is “cold and static” and “cold and slightly shaking” which is Kelthuzad’s “bored” and “irritated” respectively.

He doesn’t like sweets, but he enjoyes crunchy stuff, be it cookies or fried potato slices. He craves the crunch.

He ate the flesh of several sapient beings. In several cases he knows it and the memory of ti makes him retch, even now when he is dead.

He likes dragons. He wants his own dreagonflight. (I have a headcanon abbout Sapphiron’s “Ivory” dragonflight of undead dragons.)

He has a saronite armour to match with the Bloodsurge. It decorates a ziggurat somewhere in Plaguelands. el’thuzad honestly doesn’t care. The armour has spikes on the inside, so if you put it on as a living being, you can’t take it off without bleeding out. A very emo move.

And I am tired now, so this will have to do for now. It’s not all of them, I am sure I haven’t thought of some area. But here we go.

[concealeddarkness13]

WHG 15 Imposter Syndrome Part 5

Tagging: @sparkles-and-hens, @knmartinshouldbewriting, @maple-writes (also thanks for Volt!), @pen-of-roses, @thoughts-of-nora, and @ratracechronicler (also thanks for Priscilla Cristal and Atwater!)!

I stared at myself in the mirror as my stylist put the finishing touches on the most ghastly costume I had ever seen. I glanced over at my stylist, who had a permanent sneer on his face. “A cow. Really?”

He waved his hand dismissively. “It’s not like you livestock people give me anything to work with.”

I glared at him. “How am I supposed to get sponsors like this?” I gestured at the full body suit of a cow, complete with a cow headpiece.

“Who cares? I didn’t sign up for District 10 anyway. They had to beg me to do it. You should be grateful.”

I snorted and started walking to the door. “Well, you should be grateful for this then.” I shot him double middle fingers before I slammed the door behind me.

This wouldn’t do at all. I would probably need supplies in the arena, so I would need sponsors. Which meant I couldn’t be seen in this hideous costume. I stalked the hallways, looking for either a stray stylist or some clothes I could steal.

The stray stylist showed up first. She (I think) was a sight with rainbow hair that stood a foot over her head and stiletto heels. Her lips thinned as she looked me up and down. “I see my fellow stylists are incompetent, as usual.”

I put on my best dramatic pleading expression: wide eyes, jutted out lower lip, hands clasped. “Please, you’re the only one who can help me. I bet your costumes are much better!”

She scoffed. “Begging doesn’t look good on you, dear.” Pause as I fix my face. “So, what would you want me to do about it?”

I winked, instead going for a jovial approach. “I bet you are better than my stylist. Would you happen to have something that would catch the crowd’s eye? It doesn’t have to be related to my district.”

“Of course it doesn’t.” She looked me up and down again and sighed. “You’re in luck. My district doesn’t want my idea anyway. How do you feel about pirates?”

I grinned. I was a pirate. “That sounds fabulous.”

She ushered me over to an empty changing room, and she commenced with getting me ready all on her own. It was a whirlwind, and she ran out afterwards, yelling that she had to go save my district mate from the same fate.

I grinned at my reflection. Much better. A black, slightly low cut tank top; skin-tight, black pants; knee-high, black lace up boots; a white coat that fastened around my neck so I didn’t have to put my arms through the sleeves; and a white tricorn hat. She had rushed an explanation that in the lights of the loading area and chariot presentation area, the white hat and coat would shine pastel rainbow colors. Just the right amount of flashy without being gaudy. I was ready now.

I wandered over to the chariot loading area, and just a few minutes after I arrived, Volt Powell and Atwater (I refused to call him by his first name for some reason) walked in dressed in the glorious costumes of a hen and a rooster. Shit. I probably would have looked similar. I shook with silent laughter until I could contain it and walked over to them with a grin. Aunt Reeves had known Volt and told me about her, and that Atwater fellow looked like he’d enjoy some mischief.

“Nice evening, isn’t it? I see some of us were more fortunate than others.”

Volt made a face. “You should be careful. Don’t want to waste your good fortune here, do you?”

I winked at her. “Ah, but I’d trade this costume a thousand times to stay near such a beauty.” I held out my hand. “Triel Reeves. District 10. It is a pleasure to meet you.”

“Reeves, huh?” She shook my hand firmly. “Volt Powell, District 11.”

I would have to ask her about her plots with Aunt Reeves. “Hmm. I might have some questions for you soon. But I don’t want to neglect Mr. Atwater over here.” I whipped around to him. “I must say, I was impressed by the string of curses coming out of your mouth before the Capitol cut away. It’s funny. They are fine with sending fucking children to their deaths. But cursing, on the other hand, is the evilest of sins.” I held out my hand to Atwater.

“They cut it?” He raised an eyebrow as his eyes focused on me. “Damn. Another victim of the Capitol’s tyrannous censorship.” He shook my hand. “Guess I don’t gotta introduce myself.”

“You’re that memorable. And your handsome face doesn’t hurt either.” I winked again. “I have a proposal for both of you which involves destroying the Capitol’s tenuous hold on the idea that they control everything. Would you two be willing to hear it?”

Volt crossed her arms and watched me before she shrugged. “Why not? Go for it.”

Atwater looked a little interested. “I’m listening.”

“I have an airship and a genius engineer who can sneak said airship into the arena to get as many tributes as possible out of the arena without the Capitol’s consent.” I eyed Volt. “I’m sure you’re familiar with airships and the not-so-legal side of things, and you know the captain and crew who taught me everything I know. I would be thrilled if you are interested. And even more thrilled if you would assist me in causing some malicious mischief against the Capitol before the plan is executed.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Really? Sounds like a stretch, doesn’t it?”

Shit. I should have known this would happen, but it still hit me like a blow to the stomach. But I forced my smile to not falter, even though my voice was shakier. “I’ve researched the Capitol and the arenas of the past. I even was able to get some information on blueprints for this arena from a reliable source. I-I even have a previous tribute on my side, and she knows all about what the Capitol throws at us in the arena.” Don’t think about how she basically told me to give up the last time I really talked to her. I cleared my throat. “I assure you, I have done everything I could to prepare. There won’t be any problems.”

“And what’s the catch?” Atwater’s voice was as smooth as silk, but there was something under it that didn’t sound so calm.

I shook my head. “Nothing! All I want to do is fuck with the Capitol and save people. Once we’re out of the arena, you can go wherever you want, no strings attached.” He snorted at that.

Volt sighed. “Trust me kid, just because you thought of everything doesn’t mean you really have.”

This was good practice for other dissenters. I just had to keep telling myself that as my hands grew clammy and I had to clasp them to stop them from shaking. “That may be true, but Captain Reeves made me work on improvising. I’ll be able to work with whatever happens.”

Atwater sounded pleasant when he spoke up. “I have only two questions. First: why the hell are you doing this? Second: how the fuck are you doing this? Specifically the escaping bit. They have force fields around the arena, by the way. And it’s guarded by a fleet of hovercrafts. In the middle of nowhere. And I’ve heard a nasty rumor they monitor what happens there on camera.”

Oh. I could answer those questions. “I’m doing this because I don’t particularly like the idea of children dying in the arena, and I’m planning on recruiting as many tributes as possible, and because I hate the Capitol and want to see them fail. Second, my engineer has already invented machines that make the airship invisible to both the eye and radars. And they’re almost finished with a machine that will disable the force field around the arena. The cameras on the inside will be tricky, but maybe there’s a hacker or two within the list of willing tributes. If not, we can always chuck as many cameras as we can so that they break.”

That was the best I could do at the moment, and they didn’t look like they hated the idea. I tipped my hat at them as we got called to board our chariots. “Please at least think about my offer. And possibly meet up with me during training so we can fuck with the Capitol.” I ran off before they could respond.

As the chariots started moving, I forced the brightest grin, and I waved at the crowd and blew kisses. Acting for them, I could do, but I still didn’t know if this plan would work. But what choice did I have? It had to work, or I would have doomed the people with me to death. And I wouldn’t let that happen.

During President Snow’s speech, I sat down and tipped my hat over my eyes as if I was sleeping. Fuck him because of all the lives he had ruined. I clasped my necklace tighter as the chariots rolled away.

[haechanhues]

My Analysis Of Enhypen (From I-Land mostly) and I was going to do it straight out of watching it, but it was like 2am and the next day I was sick so today it is :) (Edit : It took a couple of days to even write it) and I also watched some Enhypen videos so.... yup but I’ll try my best to keep it to my observations with I-Land and like the behind videos 

Sunoo

- My expectation of him : I thought he’d be the loud one like San/Wooyoung  is in ATEEZ from the get go but he was so shy at first. Watching him open up and spread who he is as a person was one of my favourite parts of the show. He also became more confident in himself and his abilities. You may think differently but if you take the first episode and last episode as examples, you’ll be able to see his level of comfort in showing his qualities as a person.

- In saying that, his expressions, especially in brighter concepts astound me. Like in those concepts, he just has the spotlight. For real, for real. He can also do intense concepts too. Amazing. He also has a voice that surprises me, like you’d expect his voice to be slightly higher but it’s among the lower tones (I don’t know the tonal scale)

- He doesn’t really take too harshly to teasing or when the other people poke fun at him. He takes it in good stride (Though nobody should go overboard) He just accepts it as it is with a smile or maybe a little sigh or even just teasing back. He knows it’s all with a good heart. I find that really admirable - it’s not an easy trait to have. Also the fact he can joke with the others as well.

- I love the way he monitors others, especially his members, and like he can make a person feel good. Like the way he without any hesitancy will help style another person’s hair if they asked or whatever. He just wants to do well, together. He wants to share his happiness with other people and I think that’s such a reason to love him. He also is the first to emphasise the beauty in every person. He brings attention to it in such a beautiful, caring way. He also can see the bigger picture so easily and so thoughtfully. Always looking for others.

- In saying all this, I have a theory that he was chosen as the producer’s pick because he has this ability to him. Like a moodmaker is someone that keeps the team’s spirits up and provide the stress relief and I feel he’s more than that? He has absolute faith in other people and can bring out hidden components of a person they didn’t really know they had e.g Sunghoon during Chamber 5/ The Heeseung Aegyo fiasco. Like he has this flamboyancy and shamelessness to him that you can help but join in or that it’s alright to join in.

Sunghoon

- My expectation of him : I thought he’d be a refined person, with a real likeness to someone with a status of a prince. Regality to a tee. But he’s got such a dorky tender heart. He’s so incredibly handsome. I know this is a really shallow and obvious observation. Anyone with two working eyes can see the boy is incredibly gorgeous. But he just leaves you in awe. He’s arguably the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen. I also love how shy and bashful he can get. 

- The way he cherishes the people around him. I feel from the very first episode, he’s not necessarily a social person, but you can tell he wants to get along with everyone.  He’s so comfortable to be around and you want to try anything in your power to make him smile and laugh and be your friend or whatever. During I-Land, you can see it from the way he talks about his sister and his friendship with Jake and the other I-Landers. 

- He’s a massive dork. Like he doesn’t know how cute he is. And because he’s got that Prince look to him and that title attached to him, when you see him being dorky and screeching you can’t help but like that paradox. I think Episode 10 was his episode and that one VR segment too. Like he’s so funny and just he’s a soft spot for me I think. The ‘Pork Slice’ part I want ingrained into what made my life a life worth living. 

- As a leader, it was so interesting to see him work. He helped K a lot with his leadership when Sunghoon left the team. He takes a couple of steps backwards for other people, and at times it scared me, but it ended up so right for him in the end anyway and I’m thankful. It helped people see what kind of a person he is and I’m glad he had other people looking after him. He also is careful and accepts suggestions and sincerely works with each of them. He makes observations on his own too. 

- This can be interrelated but I think a large massive part of why he’s in Enhypen is how hard he works. He works diligently and wholeheartedly. He’s a quiet powerhouse in that respect. He does his work without the need for attention but solely to improve his skills as a performer and for his future. He doesn’t care if his hands get dirty. As long as one person, even if it’s himself has faith in him, he’ll do it. 

Heeseung 

- My expectation of him : I thought he’d be known as The Ace and hardworking and etc. It wasn’t a wrong assumption but I think we can go into more detail. He’s a really talented person and I mean that with every fibre of my being. From the very first episode, he’s labelled as the ‘Ace’ and it continues throughout the programme so when he does debut, it isn’t too much of a surprise, if at all. 

- Too be honest, I’m not really sure if this counts but I’m going to add it anyway. His relationship with his brother (so hilarious) is such a heartwarming moment. In I-Land he was one of the older ones (I think) and someone with a leadership role and so a lot of people relied on him. But it was great to see he had a good support system who he loves and adores with all his heart. The way his older brother is a source of energy for him really made my heart go into overdrive. So fucking cute. 

- As a leader, I feel a bit like stupid for mentioning it cause it’s so obvious, but he’s got leadership skills. (Duh) But like as a leader, he works on the synergy of the team. He’s patient, stern and is usually almost on the right path. He’s someone very reliable and his objective is clear. He wants to fit the concept as well as he can and makes sure that everyone is on the same page without anyone falling behind. 

- He also has the ability to let loose and have fun. He makes jokes and tries things out because it looks fun. He’s under a shit ton of pressure, especially on I-Land as the ‘Ace’ and I’m grateful he’s able to enjoy his time with the other contestants. He actually plays around quite a bit and his smile is so wide and bright, it’s so nice to see. 

- Even though he’s not the leader in Enhypen now, he has a role of being a caretaker. He helps out when he’s needed (e.g Helped out Taki for the BTS performance) He’s a really thoughtful and understanding person. He’s always the first one to state problems and then come up with solutions. When someone feels bad for getting criticisms, he takes it as his own as well. He doesn’t want to succeed solely. 

Jake

- My expectation of him : No joke it’s just Aussie, at first. He was the first Enhypen member/I-Land contestant who I ever learnt about. I also think he’s a little like Eric from The Boyz. Slightly. Just, not as crazy. Like it’s weird just seeing a not-loud Eric and/or a crazy Jake. Also, he’s really attractive. I don’t know exactly why he’s so attractive but there’s something about him you just can’t describe in words. 

- His debut astounds me the most. Not because I didn’t think he could do it. But because he had such a short training period and even as a trainee he had to exceed hundreds of others (500 others/499 others?) to be let into the company. He’s just got this natural luck to him as well. Imagine that. He’s also quite an adaptable and fast learner. He always seems to improve with every little thing he learns and it always has such an impact. 

- He’s got a charming way of performing. He may not be as rich in skill training as the other contestants or members and often gets criticism for it. But every time he had a performance where you forget about it. He’s got this irresistible charm on stage. You want to learn more about him, watch him more and he plays his role really well. 

- His eyes are so sparkly and they just lure you in. He’s currently one of the only boys I’ll accept lip bites from (I usually find them cringe). But he makes it look natural. He gets so excited with new possibilities - new opportunities of fun, to get to know other people and know the people he knows more. He always engages with every situation with eagerness and acceptance. 

- As I mentioned before, he’s the icon of growth. Yes, everyone knows it. But you don’t look at him and see his inexperience nor the lack of skills in comparison. You want him to debut immediately and grow with him. Out of all of them, I feel like you look at him and apply yourself in his shoes. You want him to succeed and to learn and to grow and you want to hold his hand during the whole process. You want to watch and do the same with yourself. 

Niki

- My expectation of him : I thought he was going to be a mood maker of the team cause I saw a lot of compilations of him being groovy and weird. It’s a weird thing to say but he reminded me of seaweed in the game of Seaweed (I don’t know how to explain this game to anyone, it’s kind of like tag I guess except when you get tagged you have to act like seaweed in the ocean) or like those inflatable balloon people at car autos or something. Weird analogy but- He’s actually quite chic. 

- From the very first episode and all to the very end, he’s a very skillfull dancer. He picks up the dances quickly and he’s such a small person but he has this way of performing large gestures that astound you. He was a really meticulous teacher too. A stickler for details. He’s very satisfying to watch dance. When he’s in the zone of dancing, it’s really beautiful and you just want him to perform more and he could do the same dance again and again and it’d still have the same impact it did the first time. 

- In I-Land, in the earlier episodes he struggled with the team aspect. He was amazing individually and could lead the team well during dancing. But wanted to show the best version of himself and forget about the rest of the team. BUT, if you look at him now, he knows the importance of his teammates and strives for the best. He also allowed himself to open up emotionally and cried more and adored more. (I noticed this moment especially with Hanbin, Sunoo, Taki and those who were eliminated) 

- During the show, it didn’t really show Niki enough being playful. I think we got to see cheery Niki when he received the hanbok from Jungkook. But you can see it better in the behind I-Land videos with the sheep costume that Jungwon wears and during Enhypen’s debut. But my favourite moment is when Jungwon wants to sneeze and he looks at him and he’s like ‘Jungwon hyung ANDWAEEE’ and his voice and everything is going to be stamped into my head. 

- He’s practically made to be an idol. His dancing is one thing but when he takes pictures and has to fit concepts that his hyungs find awkward, he just does it with such a chic way of doing things. He knows where to angle his head and he’s gotten so good at expressions. Off stage, he’s chic yet playful and extremely loving with his hyungs. 

Jay

My expectation of him : First of all, the whole reason I’m into Enhypen is because of him. He’s the reason I watched the show. He’s almost always my avatar on Rhythm Hive. I expected him to be confident and good at everything. He’s also really good looking. Like, the type of guy I’d have a crush on if he lived in my country type of crush. 

- He’s a great speaker. His ability to give feedback and constructive criticism is an amazing feat. He points out problems carefully and constructs a solution. He does so in a way that he creates a feeling of trust and faith. I’m terrible with criticism, like I can accept it but I don’t know how to reply to it. But with Jay, I actually want him to provide feedback. 

- He’s a really intense performer. He’s just constantly burning and his gaze is like a promise. He uses emotion to perform harder and to outdo himself and to prove to others that they’d regret making their decision. He is very emotional and it shows when he performs. A really determined person to do well in everything he does. He’s got this wild and untamed look in his eye but his body is very controlled and confident. It’s seriously a good look on him. It’s really attractive. 

- His leadership qualities are amazing. He knows how to utilise everyone’s talents to make the team standout more. He has an in depth understanding of everyones personalities and talents enough to put them in the right position. (That sounds like a report card). He’s also not as hardheaded as I had expected him to be, he’s flexible and is able to listen to everyones opinions and communicate on an equal level. He helps out without taking complete control over the situation. 

- He’s the moodmaker! Yes, he’s responsible for about 95% of the memes and quotes in I-Land. I don’t think I have to quote them. In saying that he’s pretty much the victim of Enhypen and I-Land pretty much. 

- I think the way he is so emotionally driven is what makes him stand out. He is the epitome of a fiery personality. He’s so unapologetically him and also open about what he’s feeling and what he’s aiming for, which is considerably quite new considering how boys are kind of taught to suppress their emotions. He also doesn’t let his emotions dictate how he treats a person. He treats them fairly, even when he’s disappointed or angry at someone. Watching him succeed and sometimes fail and promise to come back, genuinely felt like he was destined for it and wasn’t waiting for Lady Luck to shine on him. He goes and does shit done himself. He invokes so many emotions and empathies in other people. 

Jungwon 

- My expectation of him : When I was watching KCON:TACT 3 I was really attracted to his voice and they way he talked and danced. Though I didn’t expect to end up biasing him to the point of no return. Never in my life have I loved a boy quite like this. I don’t know it feels different. It felt different with both Haechan, Kyungsoo and Sunwoo but this is all so different this feeling right here. Warning : This is going to be extremely biased. Like no joke. I’m sorry, this boy is just going to have longer lines but I’ll still keep to the same bullet points. 

- He’s so lovely. So so lovely. He has this ability to smile and have fun and tease and make little comments. His eyes are like hypnosis. You’re able to look at him, see the uplifting of his smile and every one of his facial features are uplifted so it makes his expressions brighter, more welcoming and more trusting.  He’s got broad shoulders and like someone you want to cuddle and watch with stars in your eyes. Like that chick is so right, ‘you’re someone I can’t live without now.’ The way he reacts to such comments, bashful smile and the whole hand over his mouth. He’s so pretty. I don’t want him to be sad or whatever. 

- He’s so accepting of other forms of life and doesn’t care for status, wealth, age or whatever. For him, if they’re part of the team, they’re part of the team and he’ll look after them as a team member. He puts his importance on things that actually matter and looks to create an atmosphere where he can be relied on and that others feel comforted. He has fun and talks with others with softness and makes others feel engaged. He’s so fucking attentive. Like he understands other people well and has high observation skills. Like if one is upset, he’ll just quietly go to comfort them and give attention in a soothing matter. He’s also got a soothing voice. I love hearing him talk. 

- The hidden ACE. He made an impact during the competition at significant times. I think the reason why many contestants and him, himself went down the ranks was because they were previously in the higher ranks and were believed to be safe. But as a vocalist, he has such a clear and stable voice. You can recognise his voice immediately, even when I wasn’t a Enhypen stan, I could recognise his voice even without knowing who he was. But as a dancer, he’s so amazing at it. Like, his popping and his ability to do intense choreographies. As a performer he understands nuances, meanings and the concepts of a song and understands his role in the performance. Him getting praises was my favourite thing ever. I think he was a favourite among the producers. Though when he did have stumbles, I was so worried for him. Like no, I refuse. 

- He’s got an optimistic way of thinking, without being overcompensating. Basically when things don’t necessarily go the way it was set out to or when others suggest another way of doing things, he takes his time to think about it and decides. He basically uses it as a tool to grow and adapt in order to produce the best results. Now that I’m thinking about it, rather than being optimistic, I would say he’s an opportunist(?) in a sense. He’ll accept the suggestions and has this greed to live up to and exceed the expectations. This is easily seen when Jungwon isn’t doing too well doing part 5 and ends up swapping with Heeseung. And he also has this greed. It’s a greed I’ve never seen before. The goals are the same but in a way that’s different?; He doesn’t  want his grandmother to be devastated if he is eliminated, he wants to be an artist that does music he loves, ‘it’ll be even more impressive if we can go beyond their expectation’. He uses the current happenings as a way to exceed them and to go beyond capacity. In short he’s a realist without being stuck, he’s an idealist without being too high up in the clouds, he’s optimistic but not unrealistic. It’s inspiring, he’s inspiring. They all are but Jungwon has my heart at the moment. 

[marvel-download-tutorial]

How to Download Marvel comics for free!

I’ve been thinking about writing this for a while especially since we’re all stick inside but last week Marvel made the shitty decision to transition various print titles to digital only, meaning they’re directly taking revenue away from local shops rather than delay the titles, so since Marvel thinks digital comics is such a cool idea I’m gonna show you how to download as many as you’d like! (oh also this is for windows only, idk how to do it if you own a mac but also you’re rich anyways so who cares buy the comics richie)

I don’t want to take money away from the people that need it, not the actual companies of Marvel and DC fuck them they’re dying and they deserve it, but for my own rationalizing I want to take a minute to plug the Hero Initiative, basically what it is an organization that provides for comic creators that are having hard times, comics are a rough industry and you don’t get into it to get rich, I won’t go into it too much you can read for yourself but it’s been endorsed by Stan Lee, Justin Ponsor, Mike Grell, Skottie Young, Rags Morales, a lot of big names, so I’d ask if you do follow this guide and download some comics for free please consider donating to the Hero Initiative (they also sell autographed prints and you can commission some really famous artists)

anyways onto the good stuff! I’m going to be doing a fairly brief but easy to follow guide, there will be links at the bottom of the post so look for those, I’ll probably be making a few other posts with some more info so also check back for those if my blog is still here

What do I need?

You’re going to need 4 basic things if you want to do this as easily and safely as you can 

1) a good anti-virus

2) anonymous web browser (Tor)

4) a safe and reliable source for the comics

4) a torrent program to download the comics

Also optional: VPN

Anti-Virus 

it’s good to remember when torrenting that no one is your friend, everyone is out to trick you and no one cares, honestly you should also have a good anti-virus though, I’m not really gonna tell you which one you should have but Norton 360 is pretty good but say that in a room of CS majors is the quickest way to start a fist fight, honestly just google it, you’re gonna have to do some research, but really you’re good as long as you don’t go with Avast or Kaspersky, I’m going to go over typical tricks and traps later to ensure safety, this is just basic overall security thing

Anonymous Web Browser (Tor)

next we’re gonna download Tor (you can do this before getting a VPN, like I said either one is going to put you on a list but using one to cover you getting the other at least mitigates it lol) Tor is a great open source project that allows for basically complete anonymous web browsing, it’s a project dedicated to privacy and disruption of corporations ability to control every aspect of our lives, also a friend of mine bought K off silk road with it once in highschool, really not too much you need to know about it before using it, just download it, let it configure and you’re good, also use Duck Duck go that it comes with, don’t switch it to chrome or anything, Duck Duck go is anonymous search service which better lends to Tor’s protection

Where to get the torrents

Now this is really important because you can have everything else set up but without a safe reliable source none of this is gonna do any good, but this is the dangerous part, torrent sites are notorious traps (I bricked more than on family PC on limewire) and this is why I said earlier to remember these people are not your friends and are out to hurt you, don’t click banner ads, don’t believe pop ups, make sure your virus protection is on and it’s a very good idea to have an adblocker on, also look out for another post I’ll be making on what download buttons to trust for different popular torrent sites

when talking comics (and remember specifically only Marvel comics) there’s no other name out there than Nemesis43, he is a god and he’s going to be your new best friend, there are groups and sites out there that do comic scans that you have to pay to join or like apply to join, that shit’s dumb as hell and I’ve never used them once and I’ve got more comic than I can read in my lifetime, you don’t need em and you especially don’t need to give them money, donate to the Hero Initiative instead

Nemesis has moved around a bit in the past (if you remember the WWT debacle) right now the main site for him is ettv (there will be a link at the end of the post) sites a bit barren but he’s there, he also has a reddit he gives updates on very rarely, generally if he moves he adds where his new home is in a text doc in his recent uploads, I fully trust him and his uploads, he’s been doing this for years and I’d never have a second thought downloading from him, also because he uploads so much he’s often very highly rated and verified on whatever site he’s on

The second place I’d recommend is getcomic (again there will be a link at the end), now this is very important, never donate to them, they kinda suck, basically they’re plugged into a bunch of different scanner groups and just steal those scans and put them up and then ask for donations, basically they’re just an aggregate (Nem kinda is too but he doesn’t ask for donations and stuff), they usually use browser downloads which are a complete pain so I’d really recommend Nemesis over them but they do have TheComicGuy on torrent galaxy for larger files but that updates a lot less frequently then the main site, again I trust these guys (as long as you’re on the actual site) but don’t trust any banner ads or pop ups, also for downloading they give multiple options, a lot are very sketchy, just use the main server

also there’s other sites like readcomics or newcomics, never used em, don’t like em, use at your own behest 

On sites like ettv you’re gonna want to use the magnet, someone years ago told me it was safer and I just believed them and have always used em, not sure if it’s true but it’s worked so whatever, really you shouldn’t be too worried about this stuff and if you follow this guide you’re going to be way over prepared to download comics, really no one cares about comic torrenting, movies, video games, tv shows that’s the stuff people really get caught on, this is just nerd shit

I’m going to be making another post showing how to use these sites, and other sites comic can be found on so look back at my blog for that

Torrent program

This is pretty basic, just get utorrent, it’s what I’ve always used, it works, whatever, definitely look this up with a VPN on or on Tor, it’s simple to use, I’ll be doing a short tutorial on how to make it even safer

Lastly this one is optional but a pretty good idea, for more than just this

VPN aka Virtual Privacy Network

honestly you can get the anonymous web browser (Tor) or the VPN first, their both going to help cover you downloading the other and honestly both are going to put you on a list for googling them (which is why I suggest looking for someone who just already has the .exes ((I always keep them on a thumbdrive for when I have to reset one of my computers)), I might try to make a google drive with em but also I might not bc that sounds like work and I’m already typing all this up), anyways I’m not really gonna explain what a VPN is, there’s a lot of resources that can explain it better than I can but basically it masks what you do on the internet, there’s a lot of choices when picking a VPN but the big thing I looked for when choosing mine was 1) non-US based so it’s harder for US investigation agencies to request stuff for them or get anything from them 2) one that doesn’t keep logs, honestly they all do even if they say they don’t, but you wanna look for one that hasn’t turned over many logs to US agencies and 3) unlimited peer 2 peer connections which is complicated but basically means you can torrent stuff anonymously and with decent speed. Like Anti-Virus there are a ton of different VPN’s out there, you really have to do research because there are actual accounts of FBI agencies crating VPN’s telling people they’re anonymous when really they had direct access to all the info, I haven’t done any research but NordVPN seems kinda like one of these, really the more they advertise the more suspicious I am, Just google “best vpn 2020″ and look at like 5 lists and read the the stuff, personally I use IPvanish which unfortunately is US based and while it gave over logs in 2016 even thought they said they didn’t keep any but now they’re owned by a new company that super double promises they don’t (again who cares they all do) but they’ve allow P2P and use 256-bit AES encryption

I wanna take a second to mention that this isn’t going to be free, this is the only place you’re going to be spending money (besides donating to Heroe Initative of course), a good VPN is about $100 a year which all in all isn’t terrible, technically you can just get by on the anonymous browser but this gives you an extra layer of security to pretty much ensure you won’t get caught and plus in the ever worsening internet hell world a VPN is becoming more and more important, I’m sure you can find articles about it but yea you don’t technically need a VPN but it’s useful for more than just this

How to work it all

Ok so this is gonna be a little stream of consciousness, as this all kinda has been, so sorry but I’m gonna try and explain it as best I can and also feel free to ask any questions on this blog, I’ll check back eventually I’m sure

So first thing first, make sure you’re virus protection is on and you’re connected on your VPN if you’re using it (you can google “what is my IP” to double check it’s working) then load up Tor, let it load and connect up and whatever, then go to https://www.ettvdl.com/user/Nemesis43 (I’m just gonna show this with Nemesis43, maybe I’ll make another one for getcomics but that’s pretty straight forward, also nem is better)

now remember we’re only here for Marvel comics, so scroll past all those thousands of other comics this would work exactly the same for, I’m gonna go for Ant-Man #4 which was released on the 13 as a digital only comic despite the first three issues being physical copies and now sit on my shelf forever unfinished making me look like a complete penis

it may take a while but it’s going to look like this, click on the blue words, it’s gonna take you to a page that looks like this

now from here we’re going to get the magnet link, right click and select copy link address, I like doing this because it limits my interactions with the page, note the advertisement at the top telling me I need a VPN despite thinking I’m in Guadalajara (which for legal reasons I am)

just copy that and then go to utorrent and click the add link

it’ll open a little box, it should add the link automatically, if it doesn’t just hit ctrl+V

hit ok and it’ll load it up, it might need to download some metadata but after that it should be good, oh also it might bring up a window basically asking where you want to save it and what to name it, you can set all that up in preferences, I did so I just turned that window off and can’t be assed to turn it back on, just hit ok if you don’t wanna bother with that stuff, it’ll go into your downloads by default

and that’s it really, it’s that easy, I might make another thing talking about how to make utorrent more anonymous or whatever so look for that, but stock it’s fine, also when it’s finished downloading it’s gonna start seeding (like uploading to someone else) I’ve always been a scumbag and I never seed but Nemesis seeds stuff so much you really don’t need to anyways, just select it and hit the stop button (the black square on the tool bar)

here are all the links I could think of

Hero Initiative

download Tor

here’s a guide for VPNs

download utorrent

song I found recently that I like

getcomics

Nemesis

so yea that’s pretty much the basics, be smart, be safe, any viruses you get are on you but I hope you found this helpful and feel free to ask any questions

oh and also this is all parody and I’ve never actually torrented anything, I don’t even own a computer

[writing-frenzy]

Airplane Crossing Over Plots~

Like it says on the tin, these were ideas I had for crossovers involving our fav writer~ (EDIT: Thank you @guiltycorp for inspiring this a bit XD)

Now, I’ve mentioned before, with Airplane choosing the go home option, he ends up still with a golden core in all this mess but he needs to cultivate his body really carefully because of it. (come on, he put in all the time and effort to be an immortal master, he should be able to still have his bad ass skills; not to mention with it being a soul thing, because a golden core is just as spiritual as it is physical, so he will definitely still have it.)

So, sealing his core and having his Nascent Soul outside his body to relieve some of the pressure on it, (having it look like a little chibi SQH that usually hangs out in hoodie pockets or hiding in Airplane’s hair with an aura of disguise around it), Airplane has to go and actually work out, which isn’t too much of a hardship for him at least, seeing as he’s had years to get into a routine and survival instincts kicking in to help him out there.

And, he may have actually started taking school seriously again, actually applying himself, maybe even getting an online accounting job to help supply his income. When he’s steady with that, he finishes PIDW the way he had been leading up to, the ending that makes the most sense and satisfices the writer the most (and if it gives him some closure, he isn’t saying anything about that.) Now that he is finally free from PIDW, and has college and work to worry about, he writes whenever he damn well pleases, and whatever he wants to fuck what anyone says.

(He might or might not write some absolutely filthy porn whenever the mood hits him, and cackles how his fans both greedily read it and cry because his newer works are so tragic, even if they have happy endings at times. Yes, Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky is a porn writer, but first and foremost is he an angst writer more~ His fan’s tears and cries just make him stronger kind of writer~)

(I just honestly want Airplane to write what he wants to now, that is one of the biggest motives behind all this honestly)

So, we have the set up :D let’s get to what we can cross over here~

First Up: ~Cutivation Group Chat~

Come on, how can one resist this? Plopping good old Airplane into this wild ride is one of the few things that makes me so happy in life. The thought of it makes me grin, especially since it can go two ways in my opinion~

First way: Airplane replaces Song Shuhang; like, just seeing Airplane, who was an Immortal Master and Teacher in those situations would be so funny, yet intriguing as well to see how he handles it, because you know he’ll be able to, just in ways no one ever expects. (Besides, that werid luck of Shuhang’s would be perfect for him, tho he won’t seek death like the other would~ :D Airplane still has a lovely sense of self-preservation~)

Second way: Airplane is one of Song Shuhang’s roommates. (for this, I’m going to say their Dorm was big enough for five peeps, because I want Airplane to have more friends damn-it.) Just... the imagery of the two neutral disasters getting into so much mayhem and hijinxs together, giving Song Shuhang not only a friend/brother in arms he can always depend and rely on, but also a steady source for learning and cultivation as well :D

(Also, Airplane and Gou Moumou being writer friends, the two of them able to bounce ideas on to each other (oh god, now you have inspired me, how dare you make me write this./hahahaha, you know you want too/ bitch turnabout is fair play/ ah fuck.) also: just the image of Airplane meeting Senior White and being completely unaffected because not only is his survival instincts going in overdrive, but also:

Airplane: ? He’s not my type.

Everyone: *jaws dropped*

:D Anyways~

Second Idea: Card Room (Rebirth)

Now First, for those who don’t know Card Room (Rebirth), this is an action/survival/mystery thriller BL Unlimited Flow type of novel; it follows one Xiao Lou, a medical professor who specializes with examining the dead, and his journeys through multiple rooms after having died in reality, the difficulty of each of these rooms measured with Playing Cards from 2 to K and with different types of rooms being sorted by their suits of Hearts (Mystery), Diamonds (Puzzle), Spade (Survival), Club (Luck/Money). The Goal of the story is to beat all the rooms and return back to the world of the living once more. To aid in this, people can get special cards to help them fight/ take care of their health/ or even just daily life essentials to be able to actually get through places. 

So... this means after getting all used to living once more and getting into his grove in the modern world... Airplane unfortunately kicks the bucket, yet again! Thing is, this time it happened after he played a card game with some of his roommates, I’m going to say poker, and they were betting who would do what chores. Aiplane managed to make out pretty well, and was pleased with it, so was very much bummed when he ended up dying yet again.  He goes through the room, some by the skin of his teeth, but with his cultivation abilities still usable (can’t stop something on a soul level here) he gets by okay. Though, all his cards either deal with writing, supplies, and the rare cultivation one at times.

He gets by at least.

Now, because this series gives me some emotions, here is one thing I will say: Airplane and Liu Ying end up partnering up and break through together, because damn it, Liu Qiao and her sis deserve some damn happiness ;-; Maybe Airplane and Liu Ying meet by chance, Airplane impressed by the young woman’s intelligence and Liu Ying can in turn be grateful for Airplane’s resourcefulness. Maybe even include the original girl that Liu Ying teamed up with, So we have three people already in your team to survive! (because surviving the rooms 2-4 is already damn amazing considering how hellish they get :D ) 

This is a fun crossover for me to imagine honestly, because it would be perfect to showcase Airplane’s skills in logic, reasoning, and pure survival our boy is known for; let that resourceful and logistic riddled mind out to play as he fights to get the fuck out of this world, even if The City of the Moon is beautiful and all.

:D So, those were the ideas I would like to really see, but here is some more for anyone curious:

Honorable Mentions: These are ones I would love to see Airplane accidently going into, and just going yikes, or nope! or even ‘Really?’

Lord of End of World:

... This story, it concerns me greatly; I like the worldbuilding, even has a few really cool girls in it, and I find the protagonist rather curious (to an extent, blackened Gary Stu that he is...) but does it make me cringe at times with the underage theme to it; it’s part of their cultivation and all, but god damn does the way this story push some of it really sqink me out, I had to drop it because it made me so uncomfortable, so just a heads up there. this is one of those stories that makes me want to write spite fiction, but also make me cringe at the thought of remembering it at times.

Anyways, so, how it boils down to it is that this poor guy, known as the Young Master of the Unground Palace, was abused in all the ways one can practically be abused, just so their Master can get stronger themselves by forming the perfect cauldron to absorb, but who manages to kill their master only to die as well. He ends up transmigrating into Gong Lixin, a 16 year old wealthy young master about a year (I believe) before the apocalypse happens... (Like I said, I have so many damn issues with this damn story, I cry.)

Just, on one hand, imagining Airplane in this world also makes me laugh (and maybe hope), because maybe here Gong Lixin could actually learn a cultivation style thats not only suited to him, but also doesn’t need him to dual cultivate all the time and rely on cauldrons (maybe get some needed therapy as well, Airplane knows some peeps; I can dream~), he can have a stable, reliable teacher here who will have no lust or attraction to him, Airplane helping the kid out at first because they look like they’re recovered from a really bad Qi-Devitation and the teacher in him can’t leave that alone. Airplane can also relate with the youth about transmigrating, maybe even telling him about his own time with that. (And Airplane can use his own cultivation to smack around any bitch looking sideways at his student, because fuck that shit, he is only seventeen and traumatized.) Just, turning this story into a cute mentor and discipleship and emotional healing would make me so happy.

Monster Inn Rectification Report

So, this is another Transmigration story~ MC transmigrates as a poor canon fodder son, who would have ended up in a vegetable state after being neglected in favor of the super amazing awesome adopted son. He then goes on to accidently inheriting a supernatural end for Monsters~

Like, this idea makes me grin evilly; though things will change up a bit, since both of Airplane’s parents have already split up and have their own families? Just, the Former An Ding Peak Lord running an Inn? :D Building it from ground up from bascially nothing? :D Oh, man, this man has run worse things, and even a Demon Kingdom, he got you~

Supernatural Movie Actor App

Its a BL about a guy with a split personality who does realistic (as in for real) horror movies through an app, to get his wish to come true.

This actually goes really good with my idea of Airplane wanting to be an actor and all, only to have his dreams crushed :D He doesn’t at first realize what he is getting into when he gets the app, thinking it might be a chance for him to still be able to do his dream, only, surprise, surprise, he ends up entering a real life Horror movie environment~ I’m really curious about what he would dream about~

I Have Medicine

:D Airplane and Gu Zuo interactions make me smile~ these two would be so fun, seeing them bounce off each other would be a treat.

So What if You’re Reborn

.... hahahahahaha, oh, the chaos that could be unleashed in this timeline would be glorious~

Running Away From the Hero

:)

[doctorgerth]

Writing Contest Winner (4th Place)

winner: @gr8estwulfluvreva

prize choice: HCs for any two characters

description: How Kid and Killer react to and comfort a fem s/o who they catch singing depressing lyrics (Nonsense Speaker) in the shower. 

warnings: tw - depression, dark/heavy themes, mild suggestive themes, angst/comfort

note: This was a bit difficult to write in strict HC format, so it’s more like a choppy scenario format with some HCs sprinkled in lol. hope that’s ok! 

Eustass Kid 

- Kid could hear her muffled singing echoing outside the cracked bathroom door. he chuckled to himself, knowing she would never sing this loud if she was aware that he was around. getting a naughty idea, he decided to slip into the bathroom to surprise her, quickly undressing to join her in the shower. 

- it was adorable how she kept singing loudly, dramatically. cracking a few notes here and there. as the song ended, he reached out to pull back the curtains until she began another song, sounding much more somber in her tune. 

“Emotions I feel, they turn to none. I broke, I broke them one by one.”

- Kid found himself stiff, arm stuck halfway reaching out for the curtain, unable to move. he listened to the way she crooned the lyrics, as if singing straight from the heart. he started to really focus on the lyrics this time, noting how dark they were compared to the previous tune. 

“The smile that I had through all these years, it bears, it bears these hateful tears.” 

 - surely this is just a song right? she was just singing a happy song, everything is okay right? through the confusion and the echoing lament of the lyrics, he started to grow worried. something sounded off, he could hear how choked she was beginning to sound. 

“The scars that I have gulped, although they hurt...”

- he trembled at the small audible sniffle, loud enough to be heard over the flowing water. she paused for a moment, and he could see the outline of her body through the curtain, hugging herself. she choked out the next line, softly weeping.

“They hurt but you won’t know.”

- he pulled the curtain, eliciting a sharp gasp from her as she wiped at her face and backed away from him. a small whine of his name and she couldn’t look him in the eye. he stepped into the shower, eyes locked on her frame; the way she was coiled up, rubbing at her arms with eyes downcast. he reached out to her and pulled her into him despite her protests, “How long?” 

- she looked up at him, studying the solemn look on his face. hate began to bubble in her stomach as she assumed she had made him mad. dark thoughts clouded her mind, convincing her that she was truly good for nothing.

- “Goddamnit, (Name)! Don’t hide this shit from me.” though his voice was stern, he held her tightly against him, burying her face into his chest, thumbing at the small of her back while the water cascaded onto her. he felt so warm against her, despite not being under the water. he settled his chin onto her head, rummaging through his mind on what to say next. he was never good with his words, maybe that’s why she decided to hide her dark thoughts from him. 

- “I’m sorry.” the pain in her voice made him ache, wanting to shake and squeeze all the sadness out of her. he didn’t know how to deal with this stuff, but that didn’t mean he ever wanted her to hide it from him. he tried to suppress his anger. he wasn’t mad at her, just that she would dare hide her true feelings from him. she’s been suffering alone and that didn’t settle well with him. she wasn’t supposed to be alone, she had him. did she not trust him? was he not reliable? his own anxiety began spilling forth as he always had a bad habit of making everything about himself. somewhere in that chaotic brain, he concocted the idea that he was the reason for her sadness.

- they didn’t say a word as they just stood in the shower together, embracing each other tightly. she couldn’t help but cry against him, feeling an overwhelming amount of emotions threatening to drown her. he didn’t like to see her cry, he’d never get used to it. he didn’t know what was hurting her so much, but he vowed to protect her against the demons himself, “Don’t be sorry. Just fucking talk to me. Don’t shut me out. Please.”  

- it takes a while for Kid to be understanding, which makes the road to healing a bit rocky. he just gets so angry thinking about her being so hard on herself. she doesn’t deserve that! he gets so angry because he can’t just take it all away for her, be her true hero; it’s a whole process. he’s impatient because wants them to be better immediately. he wants them to be happy. he gets so angry because he knows he doesn’t help, some days he is convinced he only makes it worse for them. he gets so angry because it reminds him of his own dark thoughts and how he’s been hiding some insecurities himself.

- they both become more active in self-care habits and it not only helps them individually, but it also greatly improves their relationship. they both learn to be more open with their feelings, especially towards each other. they spend a lot of time with the crew, especially when they feel the darkness creeping in. they’ve even developed some non-verbal signals to show when they’re not in the best mood and need some support. they’ve learned each other’s needs and what supports are best for them individually. it hasn’t gone away completely, but everything is much easier now that they know they don’t have to struggle alone. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Killer

“You don’t know how I feel inside.” 

- the soft sound of her voice awoke Killer from his slumber. he stretched and rolled over onto his side, eyeing the cracked bathroom door. his mind was still hazy as she continued to sing, sounding further away than what she really was.

“You don’t know how much I tried.”

- as he became fully conscious, he could finally focus on the tune she was singing, the dark lyrics that sounded so depressing. this wasn’t her usual shower singing, something about this felt personal. almost like a cry for help. it made Killer feel uneasy. he forgot about his own breathing so he could focus solely on each word she sang, trying to figure out her source of pain. (Name) was always so bright and lively, that’s what he loved most about her. the words she sang were haunting, they didn’t fit her at all. at least not the (Name) he knew. was she hiding something?

“Light that burned, it’s out by now. I try to get it back somehow.” 

- Killer’s mind raced as he thought back to every conversation they had, every interaction, every moment shared. he searched desperately for any hints of sadness, any signs of depression, but nothing could come to mind. he didn’t like how good she was at hiding her true feelings.

“Right now I could just disappear.”

- he felt his heart sink down to his feet at those words, body cold and stiff as he tried to process them. disappear? did she really want that? his heart hurt for her and he continued to listen helplessly as she choked out the rest of the words, finishing the song on a somber note. he became alert as the shower turned off and he could hear her cleaning off and getting dressed in the bathroom; small, weak whimpers escaping her every now and then.

- the wait for her to return to bed was agonizing. he had half a mind to barge into the bathroom, but he remained patient, wondering frantically what she was doing in the there. praying she was okay. when the door creaked, he closed his eyes, feigning sleep. he could hear the faint sound of sniffling as she shuffled towards the bed. 

- the patience was long gone as soon as she settled underneath the covers. he rolled over to her, wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling into her neck, ignoring her cold, wet hair. she chuckled faintly, believing that he was still fast asleep, until his voice called out to her, “You okay?”

- she stilled for a moment, hoping that maybe he was sleep talking. but the way he squeezed her in his embrace, she knew he was awake, “It’s late you know.” he stated, filling in the silence. all she could do was nod, tangling her fingers mindlessly in his locks. he looked up at her, awaiting an answer. her cheeks were red, eyes puffy and melancholy. he had never seen her so broken, it was excruciating. 

- he tangled his fingers with her free hand, worrying about saying the wrong things. so he remained silent for longer than he intended, simply toying with her hand and hugging her close. she cursed herself for worrying him, for waking him up with her dramatic antics. she didn’t want him to know all the bad thoughts she had about herself but she knew she had been found out.

- “You know I’m here for you, right? Always am. Whatever it is, I want to help you get through it.”

- she bit her lip to hold back the cries that wanted to escape. she was supposed to be strong, fearless. Killer always admired those traits about her so she tried her hardest to remain so any time he was around. but keeping up the facade was proving more and more difficult as the days got harder and the thoughts got darker. he wouldn’t understand, he wouldn’t accept her if he knew just how weak she was. 

- “I love you, (Name).”

- she didn’t say much the rest of the night and she didn’t have to. he just held her tightly while she cried silently into his chest, rubbing at her hair gently. from here on out, he begged her to no longer hide things from him and his understanding and patient nature helped her to open up a little more.

- they spend a lot of nights just talking. Killer is really a great listener and he knows that’s what she needs during her dark moments. it takes some time for her to get everything off her chest, especially the really dark thoughts, but he accepts her for all she is and proves that he wants nothing more than to help her get through whatever is upsetting her. he reminds her over and over how loved and cherished she is, by both him and the crew, and that she should never feel like she has to go through anything alone again. he’s good about informing himself on depression and helping her develop self-care habits. he becomes a little clingy, constantly on guard around her, but he only means well. he is determined support her throughout the entire healing process, no matter what it takes.

[kylorengarbagedump]

Little Bird: Chapter 24

Read on AO3. Part 23 here. Part 25 here.

Summary: Remember life before you were a Resistance spy fucking her Commander? There was so much less intrigue, back then.

Words: 2500

Warnings: Handmaid AU

Characters: Kylo Ren x Handmaid!Reader

A/N: Oopsie sorryyyyyy. I gotta stick to the pacing, y'all, gotta be true to who I am.

Really happy for the feedback on the last chapter, as it was entirely new for me to write a scene with like, that many people doing that many things, haha. I'm so glad it seemed to maintain some tension. I'm out here trying to grow my writing skills namsayin'.

Anyway, I love y'all so much, as usual. I am so blessed to even one or two folks give a shit about what I write, so, thank you. <3

“Little bird.”

The sound of Kylo Ren’s voice at your door jolted you awake in the mid-dawn hours of the morning. Beyond your window, the sun was just barely beginning to crack through the horizon--goldenrod rays split through puffy pink clouds, an ombre of Easter-egg color stretching like a tapestry across the sky. Silent, you rolled out of bed, hesitating. You were in your nightgown. Should you tie up your hair, put on your dress? He’d already seen you naked, it wasn’t as if--

The door opened, and you leapt back, folding your arms over your chest as blood rushed your face. Ren stood, a barrier between you and the hallway, casting a glance over you before meeting your eyes. Jaw tensing, he stepped into the room and shut the door, sucking oxygen and tranquility from the air.

“Good morning, Commander.” You took another step back, hip hitting your mattress. 

Ren’s lids fluttered in thought as he glimpsed the sunrise, then looked back to you. “My name.”

You shrugged. “Didn’t want to test you.”

“You have an interesting way of showing it.”

“What do you mean?”

“Your behavior last night.”

“My behavior?” Heat festered at your toes, climbing your spine. “What about your behavior? What about you will be safe?” There was more anger than you wanted to admit--more hurt than you were willing to acknowledge. “If your Wife hadn’t intervened, who knows where I’d be right now.”

Ren’s expression was as flat as ever. “Johana’s intervention would have been unnecessary if you had behaved.”

“I think you know very well by now that I’m not one to silence my criticisms of Gilead.” A tiny smirk tugged at your lips. “In fact, I seem to remember you being interested in those criticisms.”

His gaze drifted--he stared over your shoulder, into the wall. His hands tensed, curling in and out of fists. “Circumstances changed.”

You remembered how he’d appeared talking to Snoke, the man before you now incompatible with the boyish fear you’d seen flash behind your Commander’s eyes. You hated that this trembled your heart, urged you toward understanding--because you also remembered the atrocities he’d admitted to organizing, the bodies that hung from his hands. How could these two pieces of person find room in the same mind, how a demon could wrestle its way into humanity, tear it apart, make a home? Remembering Ren’s uncertain voice on the recording, though--Ben Solo’s voice--perhaps the demon needn’t have wrestled at all. Perhaps he’d been invited in.

Chewing your lip, you shrugged again. “Well, so have mine, Commander.” 

Ren frowned and stepped toward you, pulling something small and flat from his pocket. You flinched, throwing up your arms in defense--he snatched your hand, shoving the object into your open palm. Blinking, you examined it. It was a small, wooden handle, lined with steel bolsters, a fat silver button embedded in the scale. Tilting it in your grip, you spied the hidden blade and gasped, glaring at him.

“A switchblade?” You tried to wrench away, but he held you in his grasp. “What’s this for?”

Eyes darting over your face, he curled your fingers around it. “If the Council believes you to be working for the Resistance, their sympathy for your possible pregnancy will disappear. They will do whatever is needed to get the information they want.” He released you, nodded toward the knife. “If they attempt to capture you.”

For a moment, you were speechless, focus switching between him and the weapon. There was no way he was intending you fight anyone with such a tiny blade.

“Are you telling me to kill myself if they try to capture me?” You snorted. “Can’t you at least give me a gun?”

“Your skill with a pistol leaves much to be desired.” His tone was almost tender--you would’ve thought he was teasing you if he hadn’t just instructed you to slit your own throat if you were apprehended by the Eyes.

“Do you really think they’ll be coming after me so soon?” You pressed the button, and the blade shot out--you jumped. 

Ren took your hand again, folding the knife back into a locked position and flipping the safety, then returned his attention to you. “I’d prefer to be prepared for anything, after your performance last night.”

You sighed, tugging your arm away. “Fine. But I’m not… I’m not doing that. I hope you know that.”

“Do what you wish with it.” He turned and opened the door. His face was stone. “But you have it.”

Wiggling it in your fingers, you nodded. “I have it.”

His gaze flitted over your figure a final time, and he left, shutting the door behind him. 

The rest of your morning was, thankfully, far less eventful than your Commander suggesting you create a suicide pact with yourself. As you prepared for your walk, however, the feeling of looming dread grew heavier and heavier over your shoulders. Armitage could have made an educated guess regarding your relationship with Ren--it didn’t necessarily had to have come from a reliable source. But the idea that it was even possible, that Ofarmitage could’ve sold you out to her own illicit affair swept you in a tide of nausea. You’d have to bring it up with her. For both of your sakes.

Before you left your room, you considered the switchblade. It was thin, discreet enough that it would fit up your sleeve, but to take it seemed like you’d be agreeing with Ren--that, yes, your life was in danger, that you needed an escape plan. Yet, it was his way of giving you a choice. Of protecting you. You shoved it up your sleeve and left the house. 

Despite the continued soreness at your backside, you were able to walk normally--another fact you could be thankful for. You trudged out past the front lawn and through the front gate, noticing Ren’s car had disappeared for the day. The knife in your sleeve had already made itself at home; after only a few minutes, you barely remembered it.

You met Ofarmitage at the sidewalk, seeking out some evidence of betrayal in her demeanor, but found none. She appeared as standoffish as ever. 

“Blessed be the fruit,” you said. 

“May the Lord open.”

You sidled up next to her, scanning her, willing yourself to see into her mind. There was no good time to confront her, really. 

“What’s your relationship with Armitage like?” You kept your back straight, your eyes forward.

“Why do you ask?” No sound of tremor in her voice.

“I just…” There was some honesty in the question, despite the intention. “I wonder what he does to make you feel that he loves you.” 

Ofarmitage was silent, for a moment. No change in the shuffle of her shoes. “It’s… small stuff,” she said. “He’ll leave me things. A cube of sugar. A flower. A quarter--you know, from before.” Another pause. “He’ll make me laugh. On purpose.” A soft sigh escaped her. “He’ll make sure my uniform is straight before I leave the house.”

You swallowed. The admission brought a strange mixture of sickness and envy and pity to your chest. To imagine the awful weasel you’d met last night doing such things seemed unbelievable--and to recognize how grateful she was for such tiny concessions was crushing. And still, a whiny little voice in the back of your head bemoaned how the only things your Commander had left you were a switchblade and beltburn. 

“Knowing that he does all of that for you,” you said, “what do you do for him?”

The question brought silence crashing between you, a silence that hovered and clung to the air as you approached the Guardian checkpoint. You handed over your passes, and as the men verified them, you glimpsed her from beyond your wings. Her face was tight, chin jutting in strain. The Guardians returned your passes and you continued forward, toward the market. She still didn’t respond.

“I was just curious if--”

“Yes,” she said, “I told him. I told him, okay?”

“I knew it.” Heat--relief, rage--flooded you. “Why, though? I don’t get it.”

She shook her head. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“I think you’re right that I wouldn’t.” If she’d told her Commander about your relationship, had she told him about the Resistance, too? “What did you tell him? Did you tell him everything?”

“No!” Her hands, still holding her bag, twisted together. “I’m not trying to… I know I want to stay, but I don’t want anything bad to happen to the Resistance.”

You balked. “So, just me, then?”

“I didn’t...” She paused, lowering her voice. “I wasn’t thinking. I just… I wanted…”

“You wanted what?” You wanted to shake her. “You knew what could happen if you told anybody!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what else to say,” she mumbled. “I told you that you wouldn’t understand.”

You sneered. “Try me.”

“He said…” Her voice was tiny, tight. “If… If your Commander was out of the way, then he could…” You heard the distant swallow of her distress. “He’d change things.”

“Oh.” 

Ren’s words rumbled through your mind: My design is to perfect it. Perhaps every Commander was using their Handmaids in a vie for power--but Ren hadn’t pried you for information. He hadn’t even cared you were part of the Resistance. You weren’t sure who you pitied more: Ofarmitage, for capitulating--or yourself, for the creeping sense of superiority that your Commander hadn’t ever asked it of you. As if this fact made his feelings more legitimate, more real.

What did their basis in reality matter? To live them out would be to sacrifice your autonomy--to sell your soul to a monster.

“So you seriously didn’t think about what might happen to me?” You were almost at the market--you lowered your voice. “If my Commander were implicated in an illegal relationship with me?”

Ofarmitage was silent until you approached the doors. “No, you’re right,” she said. “I did think about it.” She said nothing else, and disappeared into the store.

You stood, paralyzed, for a moment. It was becoming apparent to you that love and exploitation were synonymous in Gilead. Even if there was something genuine between Ofarmitage and her Commander, it was impossible for him, in his role, to fail to abuse it. Ren had said it himself--he wanted to possess you utterly, and he planned to make you complicit in that. If only there wasn’t a part of you that was willing to risk it.

The walk back from the market was spent in silence--you were unable to decide if you felt fury or pity for her. It might have been easier to be angry if you weren’t so close to understanding how she’d made her choice. 

As you arrived at the Guardian checkpoint, you produced your passes again, taking the opportunity to check in with her. She met your eyes for a flicker of a second before staring into her feet. Pulling your lips over your teeth, you went to take your pass from the Guardian, only to find it was still in his hand.

“Ofkylo?” he said, scrutinizing it.

You’d forgotten about your knife. It suddenly felt like a boulder in your sleeve. “Yes…”

He glanced at his partner, mumbling something to him, fire coursing through your veins. Adrenaline hijacked your brain, telling you now that they’d found you, they were going to stuff you in a van, tie you up and torment you, that the only option was throw it all to the ground--forget Ofarmitage, forget the Resistance, forget Ren--and fucking run.

The other Guardian studied your pass, glancing between it and you, for some reason. Your photo wasn’t on it. “No. It’s fine,” he said to his partner. He handed it back to you. “Get moving.”

You nodded, hoping that the level of sweat at your forehead could be attributed to the weather. Turning your face to the ground, you shuffled forward, heart beating in your throat. Fury--it was definitely fury that you felt for Ofarmitage in this moment, and once you’d obtained a comfortable distance from the Guardians, it tore out of you.

“Did you see that?” you hissed. “I thought they were about to kill me.”

She shrugged. “Well, they didn’t, did they?” 

“But do you realize what could’ve happened if the circumstances were different?” you asked. “I almost just ran!”

“But you didn’t.”

“How can you be so… so blase about this?” you growled. “Don’t you see what you’ve done?”

“I know what I did, Ofkylo--”

You seized her, spinning her toward you. “You gambled with my life!”

Her eyes, shiny with tears, struck you through. “You did!” she said. “You gambled with it. All I did was tell the only person who has ever made me feel like a human in three years!” She shook her head, shoving you off of her. “I’m sorry for what I did. I am. But I didn’t… I didn’t do it so your life would be in danger, or whatever.” She swallowed. “I did it so mine would be worth living.”

The anger in your chest fizzled out, then, like you’d been doused with ice water. You drew in a slow breath through your nose, gazing at her before turning back to the sidewalk. You didn’t forgive her, no. But that feeling--desperation, emptiness, a longing to be anything other than nothing--you understood that. You understood her.  

And she was right, at least. Nothing had happened. You’d made it back to the home. At the gate, you nodded a silent goodbye to her, allowing yourself to relax, and turned into the front yard.

Ren’s black Audi had returned to the driveway. And another car was there, too--also black--a stretch Cadillac limo, the windows completely opaque. You slowed your step, fists tight around your bag, gazing at it with suspicion. The metronome of your pulse quickened with every new thrum of your heart as you crept forward, shoulders hunching--and once you approached the back door, it flew open. You screamed, hopping back. 

“Oh, there’s no need to scream.” 

That voice. Fear numbed you, plunged you into a breathless, lightless tunnel.

Commander Snoke stepped out of the vehicle, gesturing toward the door. “Come and sit, won’t you?” He glimpsed the bag in your hands. “Just leave that there for the Marthas.”

Thousands of words reeled through your head, absolutely none of them helpful. Frost coated your insides, emptied you of warmth. This was it. Ren was right. He was going to take you and torture you. You thought of the blade in your sleeve--no. You wouldn’t do that. Not yet, anyway.

Nodding, you stuck out your chin. “I’m glad you asked.” 

You abandoned the bag in the grass, keeping his gaze as you strode toward him, holding it with triumph until you bowed into the vehicle. Blood fled your face. Seated across from you, crammed against the partition, was your Commander, Kylo Ren. His eyes met yours, his expression as vacant as you felt. Watching him, your chest fell with a trembling, terrified breath. Then Snoke eased himself into the car, and shut the door. 

“Now that we’re all together,” he said, “let’s chat.”

[songsformonkeys]

The Third Wheel (javier peña x reader) - chapter 12

Notes: So this chapter has taken forever and a half to write! I've just been distracted by other things and every time I've sat down to write I've just stared at the marker in the word document, mind completely blank. The chapter was originally supposed to be longer but I decided to split it in two just to be able to post something. So this is shorter than usual. I'll try and not keep you hanging for as long before the next one. Please yell at me if I do. I respond surprisingly well to threats.

Link to Ao3

Chapter 12

Your neck felt clammy with sweat and a headache had been steadily growing as the day went on. You had barely slept anything last night, the stupid stupid nightmare making a reappearance not only once but twice during the night. It annoyed you to no end that there was nothing you could do to prevent it. In your sleep, you were completely defenseless and at the mercy of your subconscious...and your subconscious, as it turned out, was a bitch!

You had been in a foul mood all day and after lunch you had spotted people giving you the same beeline as they usually reserved for Javier on his worse days. That didn't improve your mood at all.

Neither did Javier sharing some new information he'd gotten from “a reliable source”. You had your suspicions about who that source might be and hated yourself for feeling like a scorned lover. It was good information as well so really you should be grateful.

Of course, it was difficult to feel grateful for anything when there was a sledgehammer going bananas inside your skull.

With the new information that had surfaced, the three of you (well mostly Steve and Javier) had decided that you'd talk through it over a liquid dinner at Javier's place that evening. You would have tried to get out of it if you thought you could get away with it without it raising suspicion. Steve was already watching you a little too closely for your liking and you'd done your very best to avoid Carrillo's hawkeyes.

So a few hours later, you found yourself sitting cross-legged on the half of Javier's couch that Javier himself wasn't occupying, while Steve lounged in the armchair.

“ We never counted on that many explosives,” Javier said and both you and Steve shook your heads in response. You shifted, moving so you were leaning back against the armrest instead, with your legs half stretched out in front of you, while still making sure there were a few inches of space between your feet and Javier's thigh.

“ If the information checks out then they've got enough dough to take out like two blocks,” you said, trying to suppress a yawn. You were feeling drowsier by the minute but it wasn't particularly late. The glass of whiskey that Javier had offered, had settled nice and warm in your stomach. A little longer then it would be socially acceptable for you to go home.

“ So either they're planning something huge or they've got one hell of a failsafe in case someone should plan on doing just what we're planning to do,” Steve reasoned but Javier shook his head.

“ Nah,” he argued, “The Sicarios might be mindless drones but the Cali cartel is a whole bunch of narcissists. No fucking way they're gonna let themselves get blown up, regardless of how many of us they can take with them. I'm telling you, the explosives are for something else. Vanessa said-”

You felt a stab to your chest and lost focus on what he was saying. It was one thing to suspect something hurtful was going on, a whole other to have it confirmed. You didn't listen to the rest of the sentence, instead sliding a little lower on the couch so your head was resting comfortably against the pillows.

Neither of the boys noticed your eyes drooping shut a couple of minutes later. They were too busy arguing over whatever it was that Vanessa had said. You heard their voices drift further and further away and, with them, the headache also eased.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You found yourself standing in Javier's hallway. Somewhere a TV was playing but the sounds we're all wrong and sounded like everyone speaking was under water or stuck in a glass jar. You looked around and the hallway stretched on for so long that you couldn't even see the front door.

“ Querida...” The low voice sent shivers of pleasure up your spine and you turned around to find Javier standing a couple of feet from you. As you opened your mouth to apologize for being late - late for what, you didn't know – Javier suddenly stalked over to you, trapping you against the wall. His mouth looked impossibly inviting and so you leaned forward and kissed him. He tasted of everything you needed in that moment and your mouth willingly parted against his lips, deepening the kiss. He pressed close and you clung to him.

“ Necesito tocarte, querida,” (I need to touch you, darling) Javier almost growled and you gasped as his teeth scraped across the soft skin of your neck. He pulled back to look at you, question in his eyes, and you nodded, unable to form words. He leaned in to kiss you again and you moaned into his mouth.

He kissed you like wildfire and you felt like the whole world was tilting on its end. Your back was still against the wall but you felt like you were floating a couple of inches of the floor. But there was no way for you to look down and make sure without breaking the kiss and that was something you had no interest in doing right now. Not when Javier's tongue was in your mouth and his lips moved hungrily against yours.

As Javier's hand slid under the fabric of your shirt, however, something shifted. Javier nipped hard at your lip and it hurt, making you wince. There was suddenly a taste of copper in your mouth and it burned. The fingers on your stomach pressed down too hard and something cold slid up along your neck to rest against the underside of your chin.

“ El es tan suertudo,” (He is so lucky) a voice, that was distinctly not Javier's, murmured as he broke the kiss. Your eyes widened and fear bloomed in your chest, in an instant. “Necesito tocarte,” (I need to touch you) Alonso Sebastián continued, pushing your shirt up even further.

“ No...no no no,” you protested and tried to move away from him, but invisible hands were holding your arms. “Stop!”

Sebastián pulled back and smiled dangerously at you and suddenly you remembered. You'd been here before. You knew what was gonna happen next.

“ Como desées...puta.” (As you wish...whore)

“ NO!” you screamed and as Sebastián pulled the trigger and everything exploded, your eyes flew open. You woke up from the nightmare, only to find a figure in the dark above you, holding your arms.

“ Get off me!” you screamed, lashing out, and the hands on your arms immediately let you go as Javier scrambled backwards. You heard him swear and you sat bolt upright when it finally clicked that it actually was Javier on the floor next to the couch.

“ Javier!” you exclaimed, surprised. Your heart was still beating a mile a minute after the dream and your voice came out a little higher than intended. Javier blinked up at you from where he was sitting on the floor.

“ What the hell?!” he asked, followed by your name.

“ I'm so sorry, Javier! Are you okay?” you asked, eyes darting around the room. It was much darker now. Steve was nowhere to be seen but the tv was still on and there was a half-empty beer on the coffee table.

“ Yeah, I'm fucking fine!” he said angrily, rubbing his back, “What about you? You were squirming on the bed like you were auditioning for the fucking Exorcist.”

You looked around the room again before your gaze returned to his face. That fucking nightmare. It was one thing to have it in your own apartment when the only one to hear it and deal with the embarrassing aftermath but you didn't want Javier to see this. It had been weeks since the incident in the woods. It made no sense that it was still plaguing you.

Javier's expression suddenly softened and you realized that you had taken too long to answer, had lost the window of opportunity to joke, and not make it a big deal. Javier said your name, like a question, and sat up a little straighter.

“ Do you think I'd get the part in the sequel?” No harm in trying. Unfortunately, Javier didn't fall for it. And even more unfortunately, his brain cells had picked this moment to get themselves in order and cooperate to put two and two together.

“ How long have you been having nightmares?” he asked and there was a sharp intensity in his eyes that made it impossible to look away, even though you had a strong urge to bolt for the door.

“ Since we got back,” you confessed and Javier's eyebrows drew together in a deep frown.

“ Cariño, did something more happen that you didn't tell me about?” he asked. He didn't seem to notice the endearment that had just slipped out but you definitely did and your stomach flipped stupidly.

“ No,” told him but he looked skeptical, which only made you feel even more embarrassed. “I promise, okay. Nothing more happened! There's no goddamn reason for me to be having these dreams and I don't know what's wrong with me!” You buried your face in your hands with a frustrated groan. You heard Javier get up from the floor and the couch dipped a little when he sat down next to you. When he put his hand on your back, you shrugged it off and looked up to level him with a stare.

“ Don't pity me, Peña,” you warned. His jaw clenched the way it did when something annoyed him and he stood up. You instantly missed the warmth of his thigh against yours.

“ Why would I? You clearly don't need it,” he muttered before disappearing into the kitchen. You wondered if that was your cue to leave, but before you could even stand up, Javier came back with a glass of water. He handed it to you wordlessly and you quietly thanked him. Deep down you knew that he'd just tried to be nice but you didn't need another reminder of your weakness.

Javier watched you as you emptied the glass and handed it back to him.

“ More?” he asked and you shook your head.

“ You know...” he began and sat down on the coffee table, twisting the glass in his hands, “You should have told me about the nightmares. I could've...”

“ Could've what?” you asked, eyebrows raising, “Spent the night and held my hand?” You resolutely ignored the part of your brain that perked up at the idea.

Javier smiled a little and stared into the empty glass. Then he looked up with another frown.

“ Wait...you've had these dreams since we got back?” he asked.

“ As previously established, yes,” you said ungrateful for the reminder. Javier looked deep in thought for a moment and his tongue came out to wet his lower lip before the frown cleared from his face and he looked up at you again.

“ Is that what I've been hearing?” he asked. You had no idea what he was talking about and gave him a questioning look. “I've heard you. Through the ceiling. I thought...”

“ You thought what?” you asked, horrified by the apparently non-existent soundproofing between your apartments. Javier scratched his jaw and he looked...embarrassed?

“ I... I thought you were having company over...”

You just stared at him as realization slowly dawned on you.

“ Oh my god, Javier! No!” you protested loudly and stood up from the couch. Javier shrugged in defense.

“ How was I supposed to know? I just heard...noises.”

“ Who would I even bring to my apartment? The only three people I see during the day are you, Steve and Carrillo.”

“ Well Carrillo does have a soft spot for you,” Javier said with a shrug

“ Javier!”

“ I'm joking. Relax.” He rolled his eyes at you while you desperately tried to wipe the image of Carrillo in that context from your mind. You shook your head as if the action would actually help. Javier laughed and stood up. His sudden cheerfulness was a bit of a contrast to the deep frowning he'd done just minutes ago. You glanced around the room and your eyes landed on the clock on the wall. It was late. Way too late.

“ It's after midnight!” you exclaimed. Javier turned to look as well.

“ Yeah,” he said, looking amused, “You got somewhere to be?”

“ Yes, my bed! We have work tomorrow!”

“ We can sleep in,” Javier argued.

“ We really cannot. I promised Steve I'd come with him to meet with one of the informants and knowing him, he's gonna want to get an early start.” You could already picture his cheerful face in the doorway at an ungodly hour tomorrow morning.

Javier shrugged and then he looked over at the couch.

“ Look, if you want...” he started and you knew exactly where he was going with this, and quickly interrupted him before he could finish his sentence.

“ I'm fine!” you assured him, a little too aggressively. You didn't need Javier to babysit you through the night...or maybe you did, but you didn't want him to know about it.

“ I should go home,” you said and backed towards the hallway. Javier followed you and for a moment the image of him pushing you up against the wall invaded your mind. But Javier didn't touch you. Instead, he just hovered close by as you pulled on your shoes.

When you stood up again, Javier opened his mouth to speak but there was only so much of him trying to be kind and gentle with you that you could handle in one night. So before he had time to speak and before you had time to think clearly about the best way to handle the situation, you started forward and wrapped your arms around him. It was only when your chin was firmly rested on his shoulder and his arms came up to wrap around you too that you realized that this probably didn't reassure Javier that something wasn't seriously damaged in your brain.

His arms felt good around you, strong and warm and you were suddenly reminded of how it had felt to fall asleep in this embrace. But even under threats of bodily harm, you would have refused to admit that you lingered.

When Javier whispered your name softly you were again reminded of how strange you were behaving and you pulled back, stepping out of the comfort of his arms.

“ I will see you tomorrow!” you said, voice a little too high in the silent hallway, and before Javier could reply, you slipped through the door and up the stairs to your floor and apartment.

[scarletfish]

don’t worry, you will

Summary: Two weeks ago, Juno was engaged. Now he's quarantined with a complete stranger who can't operate a microwave and has no sense of personal space.  And they were quarantined (oh my god, they were quarantined!)

Pairings: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel, background Vespa/Buddy in future chapters Word Count: 3000 Chapters: 1/5 Warnings: canon-typical alcohol abuse, depression AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24016468/chapters/57779629

A/N: Thanks @space-city-traffic for the prompt, and @pipis-pods for the suggestion that Juno and Vespa communicate and become friends 

Chapter 1

Diamond paid you $1520 . Your Venmo balance is now $1520.  

Fiancee. Rent. They’re the first and last things on Juno’s mind. He realizes he’s been sitting in the parking garage for over ten minutes, idling and staring at the alert on his cracked phone screen. He turns the car off.

His car with a long crack in the windshield. Everything is goddamn broken. He gets out of the car, pauses. Gets back in the car.

This calls for a detour.

***

Twenty minutes later, Juno is ready to take his newly acquired liquor to his room so he can introduce it to his newly acquired headache, but he still has one more stop to make.

Hyperion Apartment Complex twists eight stories high, and the tacky light grey brick facade is almost reflective at night. Semi-nice rooms in a mostly bad part of town. Hyperion city makes cheap look beautiful, the way fast-food commercials brush up plastic meat with shoe polish and glue. Diamond had always hated it.

Juno shoulders into the leasing office with two large grocery bags. The front desk is empty, and everything is fading or peeling. He rings the bell and sits on a peely, faded chair to wait. Might as well put the whisky to good use.

Taking a swig, he looks out the floor-length windows to the filmy outdoor pool. (Rita swears security fished a body out of it a couple years ago. Juno told her she needs to stop watching so much Law and Order.) For the hundredth time, he wonders if this is even worth it. She's going to ask questions, it's inevitable, and he doesn't know how to answer them. Doesn't know the answers himself.

He starts poking holes in the plastic grocery bags with his thumbnail. Takes another swig. Then a couple more-

“Boss!” Rita bobs into view with her tablet in hand, Cheeto dust on her bright purple jacket.

Since the police force scandal, Juno runs a small PI business from a shitty downtown office, which is where he met Rita. To this day Juno’s not sure how or when she wormed her way into a position he wasn't even offering. He’s also not sure when she sleeps. As far as he knows, the part time leasing office representative is her third job- she also does... something with computers.

“Rita,” swig, “I need a favor.” The shorter woman has already started talking, anticipating their usual back and forth.

“And I know I ain’t supposed to call you that here, but you are my boss, and I don’t think my other bosses-- wait, huh?” Confused by the change in script, Rita eyes the half-empty bottle of whisky in Juno’s hand. Her eyes jump to the clock.

“Mista Steel, are you okay?” One pro of hiring Rita: she’s very perceptive. Con of hiring Rita: way too perceptive.

“Fine. I need you to check someone out for me.” Rita’s eyes immediately light up.

“Oooooh, boss, another case already? Is it gonna be as exciting as the one with Mista Prince Julian? Are we gonna get to travel? I’ve always wanted to go somewhere exotic, like Maine, or Florida-” Juno cuts her off before she can get going.

“He was a dramatic politician with a cheating husband who ended up dead, Rita. Not everything is a Netflix rom-com.”

There's a bitterness in his tone that might not have been there a week ago, but the smaller woman doesn't notice. She's already sunk into her desk chair, head propped in both hands, sighing dreamily as she swivels back and forth. Time to bring out the big guns.

Juno reaches into his shopping bag and pulls out the chips, dangling them in front of Rita’s heart eyes. She snatches. He raises them just out of reach.

“Focus. It’s not a case. There’s this guy I need you to find. I’ve got name and place of employment. Can you do it or not?”

Rita pouts. “But boss,” she whines, “you don’t even need me for that, you can just Google his name like I showed you. I thought we were gonna do something exciting.” Juno pinches the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, well, Google isn’t gonna cut it this time, because,” I wasn’t really paying attention when you showed me that, “because, he’s highly secretive. And, that’s potential name. And potential place of employment, my source isn’t very,” he almost chokes on this last word, “reliable .”

The gears start turning. “Secretive… hang on Boss, is this another high-profiler? Have you been holding out on me?” She lowers her voice (not much). “Boss, this is about a case, right, you just can’t tell me because they might have tapped the phones!?”

What… who does she think they are? Juno drops his head into his hands to rub his temples. When Juno doesn't immediately contradict her, Rita continues in her stage whisper.

“Don’t worry Boss, Rita’s got your back! I’ll have this secretive criminal tracked down before they even know we’re on their case!”

“It’s not a case.”

“I’ll be as quiet as… as those monsters in The Quiet Place! Except they ain’t so quiet when they’re attacking people, but neither are we when we’ve got the bad guys cornered and we’re ready to take them out-”

Besides the recent political debacle with Julian and his missing husband (that one was a high-paying scrap tossed Juno’s way by an old friend), most of the cases he’s hired for are affair investigations and insurance fraud.

He’s certain neither he nor Rita have “taken anyone out” ever ... unless you count that time he tried to teach Rita to drive stick shift. Or the Hot Tub Debacle. But those were accidents.

Juno slings the bag of snacks onto her desk. “Just find out whatever you can about the guy, okay?”

“Fresh shrimp flavored?” Rita squeals, “Aw, you’re the best Mista Steel!” She digs into the large bag and talks around a mouthful of orange crumbs while Juno tries not to vomit in his mouth.

“Shipping ish ‘aking fore’er wi’ this crathy thirus thing goin’ gon,” she swallows, “speaking of, have you been watching the news Boss?”

“Every morning with my sunrise yoga. Listen Rita, I’ll check in with you tomorrow, okay?” Juno’s limbs are… heavy, suddenly. Maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s because he hasn’t slept well in that last, oh, ten years... or maybe it’s the weight of that single text, sitting in his phone for almost a week now. Looking at Rita, he thinks of telling her everything. Just spilling his guts right onto the scuffed linoleum floor.

The engagement. The text. The Craigslist ad. The man he’s supposed to be meeting tomorrow.

Rita’s still chattering on, and her voice cuts through the haze. “-but you never told me the name of Mister Criminal?” She happily shoves another handful of chips in her mouth. “Oooo, or is it so secret you need to write it down on a piece of paper and then I can read it and eat the paper-”

“Peter Ransom. Might’ve done a job for Vallas Vicky’s hotel recently.” That’s all he knows. “And he’s not a criminal Rita, he’s just a normal guy.”

Rita’s dialogue wanders around to closing borders and something about Italy, but Juno’s already moving towards the door (it shuts a bit harder than he intended). He doesn't know why he's so upset with Rita, when all she's done is try to cheer him up and offered her help. He makes his way back to the parking garage elevator. It smells like cotton candy vape and something vaguely mossy. A group of ragged kids is flying down the incline around the corner on penny boards.

Juno takes another swig of whiskey in front of the chrome doors and jams the elevator button about twenty times before he remembers.

Of course the fucking elevator is down for the weekend.

He wants to sit at the bottom of the stairwell and drink himself into oblivion. He want to wallow in this feeling for a moment, the feeling of the universe kicking him while he’s down.

Instead, he drags himself to the stairwell, drudges down the second floor hall, and practically collapses through the door.

An eager chittering greets him from the cage in the living room. “Hey, Smallfry.”

Diamond wouldn’t go near the ball of fluff (“It’s so dirty Juno,”) so when they moved in together eight months ago, the rabbit was a launching point for multiple arguments. Juno drops his grocery bag of Timothy hay and carrots by the cage, not bothering to stash it in the kitchen.

He pointedly doesn’t look in the smaller second bedroom that Diamond claimed as an office space. He doesn’t look at their shared bed either, because the sight of the rumpled sheets will just wrap around his ribcage and squeeze and squeeze until he can’t breathe again and everything is spinning-

Juno takes another swig and collapses on the couch. And then, because he wants to hate himself a bit, he thumbs through his phone to his fiancee’s most recent text. No matter how often Juno reads it, it never changes.

3:56AM: Diamond

Juno. I’ll forward my part of two month’s rent before the month is over. That should be long enough for you to find a temporary roommate, at least until the lease expires at the end of the year. Do what you’d like with the furniture.

Ex-fiancee.

***

Juno bolts upright, disoriented and confused. The decorative couch pillows left lines on his cheek, and he’s nursing the beginning of a monster headache. He gropes around for his phone. 7PM. It’s only been a few hours.

It feels like days. Months. Years.

Juno shivers. He left the door to the porch open, and a cool fall breeze is raising goosebumps on his arm. A nearby screen door slams, and heavy boots tread the balcony next door. “Hey piss-bucket, you been day drinking again?”

The green-haired nuisance next door is only loud when she chooses to be, so Juno knows she's hoping to stir him out for a cigarette or two. He wonders briefly when Buddy will be back. Vespa only gets this chatty when her partner is gone for long periods of time on work trips.

He toys with the idea of stepping out. Hey Vespa. How're the axe-throwing students? (She refuses to tell him what she does for work, so Juno assigns her a new job every night.)

She’ll respond with something like, Great. If your failed PI business finally tanks, we could always use some new targets.

Maybe if Juno gets drunk enough, he’ll tell her why he’s not planning on ever being sober again. Tell her that he’s such a fucked up human, his fiancee ghosted him three weeks before the wedding with no forwarding address. Over text.

She’ll have to laugh at that. It’s the goddamn joke of the century, and Juno’s the punchline.

He jumps violently when his phone starts ringing. “I know you can hear me, Steel,” Vespa sneers from her balcony.

Juno groans at the name lighting up his screen. He was wrong- he’s not the punchline. Fucking Mick Mercury is.

He almost sends it to voicemail, but at the last second he crosses to the balcony door, wrestles the screen closed as Vespa flips him off (“What, too busy getting wasted alone?”) and finally slides the door shut with a bang.

He leans against the wall by Smallfry’s cage.

“Whaddya want, Mick.” Juno’s brain struggles to keep up with the excited babble streaming out of the phone.

“Juno! That hit we got on your listing? The Peter guy? He messaged again!”

No one’s outright asked Juno, “Did your fiancee ghost you three weeks before your wedding over text?”, so he’s not lying to his friends, per se. He just isn’t ready for the inevitable string of I-told-you-so’s from Rita and Vespa, who have hated Diamond since the moment they waltzed into Juno’s life ten months ago and stomped all over his heart with their designer boots.

Mick, bless him, is blissfully ignorant of Juno’s recent string of unfortunate life events. He’s blissfully ignorant about most things, actually, but his unending stream of well-intentioned business ventures mean he knows how to advertise.

Juno isn’t sure who Craig is, or why he keeps lists of random shit online. All he knows is that he can't afford rent on his own, and Mick owed him a favor. A lot of favors.  

“Let me guess, he's found something better and he's not interested anymore.”

Fuck Diamond for putting him in this situation. Even if he deserves it. Even if he should’ve known better.  

“No, Juno! He says, and I quote,” he clears his throat and reads dramatically, “‘Juno, would it be possible to move our rendezvous sooner? Due to personal issues I find I’m in need of accommodations a bit sooner than expected, and your ad did say the room was available post haste.’” Mick drops his voice back to normal. “He wants to meet sooner!”

“Yeah, I got that Mick. ‘Post haste’?”

“I went for a 'trustworthy but not desperate' vibe, ya feel?” Juno is quickly wishing he read and approved the ad before Mick posted it across the internet in his name.

“All right Mick, whatever, sure, just let me know when you set it up for.” There’s a long, telling silence. “...Mick?”

“Okay so here’s the thing,” and with that, Juno knows the universe is screwing with him again, “I kinda already told him you could meet him tomorrow morning? At eight? And I gave him the address of the apartment?” His words get faster with each blow.

“You gave him the address? Goddamn it Mick, I thought we were meeting for coffee somewhere first so I could make sure he’s not some wackjob who wants to hack me to pieces and wear my skin as a suit!” Juno’s less worried about becoming a potential skin suit and more worried about waking up before noon with the spectacular hangover he’s got planned, but he’s not going to tell Mick that.

“Oh Juno, you’re so,” he chuckles, “you’re hilarious! Skin suit. Ha! You’ve been watching Law and Order with Rita again, haven’t you?” Juno resists the urge to slam his head into the wall and end it all.

“Anyways, get some sleep tonight and make a good impression on our friend tomorrow! I’ll pass him your number. And hey, maybe you could mention my new Hair-in-a-Can line? One good turn and all that. The recall went real smooth with the last one!”

“Mick, hang on, listen to me-” Juno’s cut off by a loud crash in the background.

“Sorry Juno, gotta go, the cans are a bit more,” a high-pitched scream, “uh, high-pressured than we expected, good luck pal, don’t be a stranger!”

The line goes dead. Perfect. Juno eyes Smallfry.

“Not like I have anything worth stealing, huh? Unless he deals in small, neurotic rabbits.” He restocks Smallfry’s hay before he’s too drunk to remember. Vespa's convinced that a hungry rabbit might be inclined to chew through the apartment wall and go on a carnivorous hunting spree.

“My last roommate had a rabbit. It got mad when their sister’s rabbit got a nicer cage, so it chewed straight through the bars and,” she snapped her fingers, “chomp chomp. Nothing left but rabbits feet.”

“Bullshit.”

“What are you Steel, the rabbit whisperer? Okay, maybe it was a gerbil! Whatever, same difference.”

Then he grabs an extra blanket from the hall closet (it really is starting to get cold), two bottles of liquor, and the TV remote and settles onto the couch for another long night.

***

The best mornings are the mornings Juno wakes up still drunk and pleasantly fuzzy. This is not one of those mornings.

His alarm is playing quite loudly, meaning it’s probably been going off for quite some time, and two things happen in quick succession as his brain painfully struggles towards consciousness.

He rolls over in bed to grab at his phone and realizes the bed is actually a narrow couch. He hits the floor with a heavy thump . He's blindly swiping at the floor trying to turn the damn thing off, ignoring the nagging anxiety that he’s forgotten something important... There!

Blearily, he reads the alarm label… “SOUR CREAM.” What?

There’s a sharp knock at his door. His tipsy brain stumbles around in tight circles. He set that alarm weeks ago while cooking… never bothered to re-label it.... that doesn’t explain…

A second set of knocking, more forceful this time, accompanied by a muffled voice.

It’s 7:50AM and he honestly can’t remember why he’s supposed to be waking up or who could possibly be at the door. No, wait… he vaguely remembers…

Mick. The phone call. The desperate roommate.

All at once, Juno’s certain that he doesn’t need a roommate. It’s only four months after all, and the idea of a complete stranger snooping around his stuff, asking questions about his life, getting tangled up with his job, makes Juno’s skin crawl. It’s not worth the money. He can figure that out… somehow.

It’s decided. He’ll ignore the knocking. This Peter guy will eventually give up, he’ll tell Mick to take down the advertisement, and he’ll figure something else out.

Then a noise outside the door makes his blood run cold. He knows that giggle.

“Sorry Mista Criminal, lemme just, ngh-hungh, try that key.” Rita, traitor secretary and ex-best friend, is using her spare key to let this man into Juno’s apartment. The stranger’s muffled voice leaks through the door. “Could you maybe...?”

There’s no time to think. Juno’s only on the second floor, there are bushes underneath the window. If he can get out quick enough, he might be able to avoid a meeting altogether-

“Thank you Rita, you are an absolute gem, and twice as beautiful if I might add...” the door clicks open.

Might’ve been able to. If he’d moved a little quicker.

“Hello! Juno, I presume?”

Fuck.