#so they did long distance?? and only spent limited time together??

[cassianandfenrysaremyboyos]

I have SO many questions about the ending of Wakanda Forever and the whole timeline and just so many things

[luxaofhesperides]

Childhood friends to lovers ; requested by @starlightcat04!

Duke’s grandmother lived in Illinois when he was a kid, years before he and his parents were captured by the Joker and the news of it sent her to a hospital that she didn’t leave until Death arrived for her. But before all that, before his life upended and tore itself to shreds in front of him, Duke used to visit her in the summers.

His parents didn’t want to leave Gotham, but they also didn’t want him to grow up there amid all the crime and rogue attacks. The solution was to drive down to his grandmother’s house, suitcase in the trunk, and stay with him there for a few days before they returned to make sure no one broke into their house. 

She lived in the outskirts of Amity Park, a town smaller than Gotham and much, much quieter. The change in scenery always blew his mind, and he spent most of his childhood summers running around the woods, accidentally scaring hikers. 

There were other kids in Amity, further in towards the suburbs, but he never got along with most of them, too strange, only here for a month or so, and carrying an awareness and sense of danger that all Gothamites had. 

He didn’t really have friends in Amity Park, except for one: Danny Fenton, local outcast due to his scientist parents'… everything. His only friend, a boy named Tucker, would always be gone in the summers as well, visiting family in Chicago and Pennsylvania. 

They gravitated towards each other, as lonely kids tend to do.

Danny helped make those summers fun, full of laughter and skinned knees and smuggled tech from the Fenton household to mess around with. They shared stories of their lives, comparing Amity Park to Gotham, arguing over superheroes and getting distracted each time by how cool heroes were. 

The last summer he ever went to Amity Park, Danny had gotten his first cell phone and eagerly gave Duke his number. Any time they weren’t together, they were texting until they fell asleep, phone still in hand.

The time they spent together was always limited, but Duke could swear that no one in the world knew him as well as Danny did.

He still misses him. 

They still text and call when they can, but it’s gotten hard over the past few years. Duke was caught up in foster care and searching for his parents and being part of the We Are Robin gang and then becoming the Signal. Danny, from what he’s shared with Duke, went through similar things of recovering from a lab accident and then having his town be overrun with ghosts, of all things, which had the government get involved and cause problems.

The few times they were able to find a quiet night where they could just talk and be Duke and Danny again were nights he always treasured, though they left an ache in his chest when it was over. 

It’s just been so long since they’ve seen each other in person. He doesn’t even know what Danny looks like anymore! And, sure, he could always ask for a picture, but it feels awkward. They know what they looked like before. And they’ve heard each other’s voices, know the basics of what’s going on in each other’s lives…

They still know each other, but Duke is all too aware of the distance that’s grown between them.

“Duke, seriously, what’s got you spacing out so much?” Steph asks, pulling him from his thoughts. 

He shrugs, smiling sheepishly. “Just thinking. Sorry about that. What were you saying?”

“I was saying,” she says, “That you should do a road trip. Or just like, travel around. Check out college campuses. Enjoy your last summer vacation of high school! Trust me, you’ll want the break before going into senior year.”

“Just because you’re two years older than me—”

“Excuse me for trying to impart my wisdom! See if I help you again when I’m older and wiser.”

“Sure, Steph,” he says, “Whatever you say.”

She squints at him. “What’s with that tone? I’m being helpful right now!”

“Mhm.”

“Geez. I should have let Dick talk to you. Anyways, I already told Bruce that you wanted to do this, so he’s agreed to fund it.”

Duke jerks upright in his seat, nearly falling out of it. “You did WHAT?!”

“You’re welcome,” Steph grins, unrepentant. 

“Steph, come on. This is unnecessary. Isn’t it better for me to help out more in the summer? Train more, work with the team on stuff, you know, important things?”

“Duke.” Steph’s voice suddenly turns serious and he can’t help but give her all his attention. “Listen to me. Your life is more important. If Gotham survived when Bruce was the only cape around, then it’ll survive while you prioritize your life. And that means touring colleges to figure out where you want to go.”

“I could just stay here and go to GCU.”

Steph just stares at him, unimpressed, and he has to admit, “Yeah, you’re right. I’m not gonna do that.”

“Just enjoy traveling around, okay? And if you want someone to go with you…” she nudges him with her shoulder, repeatedly, very clearly hinting at something.

“I’ll be sure to ask Cass,” Duke says, and Steph rolls her eyes, but doesn’t deny that Cass would be a great travel partner. 

Their conversation comes to a halt when an alarm on her phone goes off and she drops her head with a groan. She grabs her bag and takes off with a quick explanation that she has to get to class, one she hates but is determined to ace just to spite the professor, and in no time at all, Duke is alone again. 

Without Steph providing him a distraction, Duke has nothing to do but read through his texts with Danny. It hasn’t been that long since they last talked; four days ago is nothing compared to the months of silence that went between them a few years ago. They’ve gotten better since staying in contact since then, and make sure to text at least once a week. 

It’s not perfect, but it’s better than nothing.

He considers asking Danny where he’s planning to go. Maybe they could go to the same place together, live in the same apartment, be able to finally stick together. Not that it’ll ever happen; the more likely outcome is that they’ll be accepted into different universities, chose places closer to their respective homes, and still be far apart.

An idea begins to form in his mind.

They’ve had summers together before. Maybe they could have one more.

First, he needs to talk to Bruce.

He’s working from home, thankfully, typing away at a laptop in his office when Duke knocks on the door and pokes his head in.

“Duke,” Bruce smiles, pushes his laptop away. “Come in.”

“Hey. Steph said she talked to you about me traveling this summer?”

“Yes. She was very insistent that you go visit any universities that pique your interest. I’ve already agreed to fund everything, and I can take care of plane tickets and hotels as well.” 

Duke nods, trying not to look too nervous. “Yeah, so about that. Could I travel with someone? Would that be cool? Or is this a thing for me only?”

Bruce blinks. “I promise cost is not an issue. Adding another person won’t be a problem. Who is it?”

“Ah, no one you know. He’s a childhood friend of mine who lives in Illinois, and I’d like to spend a summer with him again.”

“Who is it?”

Oh boy. Bruce is definitely going to find everything he can about Danny and his family and start interrogating Duke about him. But if that’s going to let him travel the country with Danny, then he’s more than willing to deal with it.

“Danny Fenton, from Amity Park. The town with the ghost problem.”

Bruce leans back in his chair. “I’ve heard of them. The League discussed investigating it when the news first got out, but Constantine warned us to stay away due to risk of possession. It seems that the local hero, Phantom, has it all in hand.” Bruce nods, already thinking deeply about his next steps. “Alright, I’ll need to do some research. And send me a list of the universities you’d like to visit so I can plan your itinerary.”

“Cool. Thanks, B.”

Duke leaves as quickly as he can after that, letting out a relieved breath  once he’s sure no one is around to hear it. 

Step one is done. 

Now for step two: communication.

duke: hey, are you free for a call anytime soon? danny: yeah! we can call now if u want :)

Well! That was way faster than he was expecting. 

He all but sprints through the halls to get to his room and locks the door behind himself. It won’t do much to stop anyone from actually coming in, but it is a sign that he wants privacy. Once he’s sure no one is going to be listening in and interrupting, Duke pulls up Danny’s contact and hits the call button.

It rings twice before Danny’s picking up, greeting him with a cheerful, “Hey Duke! What’s up?”

“Hey Danny,” he replies, unable to help the way his voice softens with affection. “So, this is totally out of the blue, but if you could spend this summer going around the country with me, would you?”

“I mean, yeah, obviously. You know I’d do anything to spend more time with you! Why?”

Duke grins. While he was sure about what Danny’s answer would be, that didn’t stop him from worrying about a rejection. “Well. Bruce has offered to fund the entire trip and bring someone along.”

“Wait, seriously? You want me to go with you?”

“Who else? Dude, you know I love spending time with you, and I’ve missed you like crazy.”

“Oh my God, you’re serious. Duke! Yes, I want to be your travel buddy! Are you kidding me? In what world would I say no?”

“Hey, man, you can’t blame me for making sure. Are your parents going to be fine with that?”

Danny goes quiet, and Duke feels his heart drop. “Danny? Is something wrong?”

“No,” Danny says, followed by a bitter laugh. “They won’t care. I’ll just tell them I’m going traveling with a friend and that’ll be enough. They’re too busy to care much about what I do, these days. They probably won’t even notice that I’m gone, now that Jazz isn’t here to remind them that I exist.”

“How is Jazz, by the way? We could visit her.”

“She’s doing fine. Really loving Harvard. And I’d love that Duke. You’re the best.”

The mood of the conversation eases and they fall into the usual rhythm of catching each other up, chatting about their lives and any other thought that crosses their minds. It’s easy for the hours to slip away with Danny, and before he knows it, there’s a knock on his door as Alfred calls him for dinner.

He hangs up with a quick goodbye to Danny, along with a promise to send him the itinerary once it’s made. 

Somehow, news of his summer plans get out by the end of the day. Which means Steph blabbed and feels no remorse about it. The next week of Duke’s life is overtaken by nearly every trying to help him plan and prepare for his trip, while lightly interrogating him about Danny. By the time he was heading off to the airport, agreeing to take one of Bruce’s smaller private planes which was piloted by a man who definitely wasn’t Jason going by the name 'Todd Jameson'. Of course not, that would be silly.

(Duke sighed very, very loudly when he saw Jason waving at him from outside the plane. He should have expected the guy to take advantage of Bruce needing a pilot and teasing him about Danny.)

He can’t bring himself to be too bother by it, though, when it means he’ll get to be with Danny again soon. Duke would pay any price to be with him again, so this is hardly anything.

They set off with a wave from Duke and Jason flipping the bird to the rest of the family. And then Jason is up in the cockpit, blasting his playlist of songs from musicals, and Duke is left to wait impatient for the next few hours until they reach Illinois. 

The hours pass far too slow but also much too fast. Duke feels like he barely has time to prepare himself before they’re landing smoothly and Danny texts him to let him know he’s at the airport.

Jason sees him off before heading out to take a call from Roy, telling him to find his own way to his hotel. Duke barely pays him enough mind to say goodbye, grabbing his suitcase and hurrying into the airport, searching for the terminal Danny’s at. 

He doesn’t find Danny first. Danny finds him and slams into him like a freight train. It’s only his training that keeps Duke from toppling over, dropping his suitcase to hold Danny. They cling to each other tightly, as if they might never see each other again. Danny’s got his legs wrapped around Duke’s waist like a koala, and Duke would be happy to carry him forever. 

“I can’t believe you’re really here,” Danny murmurs into his ear. Duke shivers, holding him tighter, and smiles.

“Yeah. I know. Man, you don’t know how much I’ve missed you.”

“I think I can take a pretty good guess.”

Danny pulls away, dropping his feet back to the ground. 

Duke is finally able to see Danny for the first time in years, and he’s pretty sure he stops breathing for a solid minute. Danny grew up fine. He’s got the bluest eyes he’s ever seen, and soft black hair that’s a little windswept and messy, and his grin is as bright and beautiful as always. For a moment, Duke wants nothing more than to kiss him.

Then Danny steps back and the thought fades. 

“Ready to go? We’re going to UChicago first, yeah?”

“That’s the plan,” Duke says, falling into step with Danny as they make their way out of the airport. “Then a day just to hang out in Chicago before we head to Harvard.”

“Cool,” Danny grins. “Hotel first, though, right?”

“Yeah, man, catch up time is essential.”

Danny glances over at him, something unreadable in his eyes, but he smiles when he sees that Duke is already looking at him. “Let’s get going, then.”

Danny drives them in a car he apparently made himself, which explains why it’s a model Duke’s never seen before. It drives like a dream and Duke is very tempted to get Danny to make one for the Signal, maybe even wrangle up a contract to have him work with Batman Inc. 

They spend the two hour drive chatting and laughing as if no time has passed at all since they last saw each other in person. All the years seem to fade away and they’re just Duke and Danny again, spending another summer together. 

Check in goes smoothly, and the room Bruce has booked them is large, with two beds, a seating area, and a dining area. A glass door leads to a small balcony with two chairs and a fantastic view of the lake behind the hotel. They set both their suitcases on the luggage rack, and Duke only has time to turn to Danny to ask which bed he wants before he finds himself pressed up against the wall, Danny’s hands on his cheeks.

“Tell me if you don’t want this,” he whispers against Duke’s lips.

Duke doesn’t bother replying. He just leans in, closes the minuscule distance between them, and kisses Danny. It’s soft and sweet and everything he’s ever wanted.

Then Danny makes a small noise in the back of his throat and deepens the kiss. It goes from soft to heated and desperate and all consuming instantly. Duke slides his hands around Danny’s waist, pulling him impossibly closer, and thinks I never want to leave you again.

He’s completely lost track of time when Danny pulls back with gasp. They both take a few seconds to catch their breath, and Duke realizes his cheeks feel cold.

“Sorry,” Danny whispers, pulling his hands away. Duke catches them before they can go too far and holds them together.

“Sorry for what?”

“The frost,” he says, wiggling his fingers lightly. Duke glances down and sees that his fingertips are lightly coated in frost, spilling down his fingers.

“You have powers?”

“Came with the lab accident.”

“Man,” Duke says, “We have got to catch up properly. There’s a ton I haven’t told you.”

Danny laughs lightly, breathlessly. “Oh, for sure. But later. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for years.”

“Danny, baby, you can kiss me all night if you want.”

“I intend to,” he says with a bright grin.

What else could Duke do but lean in and kiss him again?

Nothing else exists in that moment except them. Duke is so, so glad he’s got the rest of summer to spend with Danny. He’s going to take him on dates in every city they visit. 

They’ve gone years without seeing each other. Duke refuses to let it happen again. Whatever future awaits them, he’ll do all he can to keep Danny in it. 

But for now, he’s got his cute childhood friend to kiss and all the privacy a hotel room can offer. He fully intends to make the most of it.

. . .

[send me a ghostlights prompt!]

[perfectlyoongi]

LONG-DISTANCE!JIN who sends selfies with a you-stick-figure drawn by his side. Jin was very creative with his photographs, so much so that in practically all of his photographs, Jin made a point of having you close to him. sitting next to him eating from his bowl, lying on his bed stealing his pillow, the ideas were immense; in every selfie of Jin, there was a display of desire. hiding all his neediness behind humor, Jin did everything to make you laugh and realize that that distance meant nothing. even though you were on the other side of the screen, you were always close to Jin. “another practice done. today you came to watch the rehearsal and you really liked it. too bad you fell asleep in between. frankly, you don’t know how to sleep at night and then this happens.”

LONG-DISTANCE!JIN who sends you a small jar with 366 of his kisses. don’t ask how long Jin took to prepare this gift because the answer was too shameful to share; but that wasn’t the most important thing. the most important thing is that Jin took the time to paint his lips and kiss several strips of paper to put in a jar and give to you as a gift. so, when you needed Jin’s love and he couldn’t give it to you, you had a kiss for every day of the year that made you remember why you loved Jin. “every day of the year i’m kissing you. i devote all my love to you in the form of little kisses to show you that there isn’t a day that goes by that you don’t leave my head.”

LONG-DISTANCE!JIN who creates a story of your own every time he rides a plane. Jin was a man who needed some activity to distract himself, and when he was on a plane, somewhat limited in his activities, Jin would just grab a notebook and a pen and start writing. once upon a time, a wizard from the mountains found a little frog who was prince Jin of the entire kingdom. once upon a time, in a far away land, there was a shepherd named Jin who was afraid of the dark and that was why his neighbor was always at his house on stormy nights. once upon a time, here in this world, there was a boy named Jin who loved very, very, very much a little gift from heaven with your name on it. “i just arrived at the hotel and i have to tell you the story i wrote today. might be my favorite so far. okay, good. so it’s like this. once upon a time, in a lost kingdom, there was a cart that had no wheels…”

LONG-DISTANCE!JIN who offers you a pillow of himself. Jin specialized in comedy. Jin was adept at hiding his pain with comedy. Jin was always ready to make you laugh, as your laughs were able to get past the comedy defenses and warm Jin’s heart. so, when a reasonably large package appeared in the mail, you were surprised at first and only after opening it did you understand everything. Jin had offered you a pillow. but it wasn’t just any pillow. Jin had offered you a pillow of himself, almost as big as him. just a few inches smaller, that pillow with Jin’s smiling face made you laugh again and again and protected you every night you were alone. in his comedy, Jin managed to give you some comfort. “i know i’m amazing and quite handsome, so i had to share myself with you. confess, you were hoping to have a pillow with my beautiful face on it.”

LONG-DISTANCE!JIN who records every game you play together. having any kind of relationship with Jin was synonymous with chaos, especially when games were involved. during your calls, you and Jin would choose a game to pass the time that always ended with screams and laughter on both sides. recorded on his computer were all the failures and victories, and Jin spent hours replaying each of your games, getting lost in your laughs and disasters, always wishing you were there next to him replaying all the moments of happiness with him. “when i most need to have you by my side is when i review our games. i confess that part of me withers when i know that we are in two different homes, but in your laughter and words i find my refuge from this need.”

LONG-DISTANCE!JIN who guarantees that he lives in hell for being so far away from you. why couldn’t Jin be by your side? why weren’t you born on the street in front of him? none of you were bad people. why did you have to suffer like this? Jin just wanted to be with you, to be able to share some of the love that burned him inside. Jin wanted to take care of you like you were a garden; he wanted to help you flourish, discover yourself, be happy. why did you have to be so far away from each other? what cruelty had Jin done in another life to suffer so much? he just wanted you. please. “every day that passes is a torment. what would i give to be there with you. what i would give to be able to give a little of this love that suffocates me so much. my soul is begging to come home.”

LONG-DISTANCE!JIN who showed up at your house when you were heading to the airport to fly to see Jin. you were lucky. you were very lucky. if you hadn’t forgotten your passport at home, you and Jin would never have met. you had thought about surprising Jin on his birthday. Jin had thought about surprising you on his birthday. by a twist of fate, you and Jin had the same idea, just in different locations; and it was with all the luck in the universe, with all the stardust that existed, that Jin managed to get you home. you were ready to leave and it was by cosmic connections that Jin still caught you at home “i can’t believe this. i can’t believe. oh my god. the gods must love us. oh my god. i love you. oh my god. oh my god.”

[milliesfishes]

𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚𝓘𝓶𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚

(requested)(@kayleigh--23) [fem reader] contains: slow burn, angst, death, depression, fire, mentions of sexual assault, non-consensual touch, abandonment, jealousy, mentions of violence, childhood friends to lovers, reader's nickname is 'Daisy'. pairing: billy the kid x fem reader summary: you and billy grew up together, and when he skips town, you're devastated. tragedy throws the two of you together again, and you're forced to confront your longtime feelings for him. author’s note: I switched up the timeline to work a little better with the story and the ages/stats may not be quite show-accurate but oh such is life. There's a little bit of Spanish in here that is not google translated, but I am not a native speaker so be warned. Pinterest Board Spotify Playlist

For as long as you could remember, you'd been counted as one of the boys.

Your older brother, Joe, was the only sibling you had, and in the town the two of you grew up there weren't many options for friends your age. Most of the girls around those parts were socialites in training that were far older than you and the boys teased you too much, so you usually wound up going wherever your brother did.

Joe had an easygoing nature, so naturally he got on well with an abundance of the boys his age, both as a child and a young man. But his best friend by far was Billy, a dark-haired Irish immigrant who you'd known ever since his family moved to town. He and you had bonded at first over your respective brothers having the same name, then over riding and horses.

When you were younger you often tagged along when Billy and Joe would go off to play their games, and neither of them minded you. You usually kept to yourself anyways, playing games of silent make believe with pretty rocks you'd find along the trails. Sometimes they'd rope you into whatever they were doing, and you obliged, just happy to be a part of the fun.

As you all got older, Billy and Joe's games turned into handling guns, so naturally you learned too, since your circles were so limited. You'd spend hours in the sun, shooting cans off fence posts. It was a freeing thing- to be out there in the wilderness and not worry about what you should or shouldn't be doing.

The girls in town would poke fun at you for hanging out with boys, but you paid them no mind for the most part. You'd take your worries over theirs any day.

The years were spent climbing trees and hopping fences to steal apples, always laughing, always content. You felt that you wanted for nothing. You had a father and brother who loved you, and a friend in Billy. What more could you possibly need?

Billy was over at your house for dinner a few times a week, laughing and joking with you and Joe like he'd been born into it. Your father was fond of him as well, treating him like one of his own. And you always thought of him like that too, like another brother, just as good as Joe.

But when you were sixteen and Billy was seventeen, something switched.

Joe was off doing something for your father, so it was just you and Billy that evening. He'd suggested riding since it was sunny out for the first time in a while, the rain having taken up a great deal of the springtime. You'd agreed, and off the two of you went, exploring the prairie with the vigor only the young possess.

"Think you can race me to that tree?" you asked, nodding at it on a hill in the distance.

"You bet, but don't cry when ya lose Daisy." He called you by your nickname, grinning as he did. As a child you'd been obsessed with the little white flowers, picking them and putting them everywhere. He'd started calling you by that name and hadn't stopped.

"You wish!" You tugged on your horse's reins, and you were off, the wind in your hair, a rush of adrenaline shooting through you as you kept your eyes on the horizon. Billy was fast, but you liked to think you were faster. You'd been riding this horse since you were young.

Easily you reached the tree before he did, and he groaned good naturedly, hopping off his horse and tying the reins to a low branch. You were about to do the same when he suddenly reached up, grabbing you around the waist, hauling you off the horse and spinning you around. You squealed in surprise, and he stumbled, sending the two of you rolling down the hill. You tumbled together, shrieking with laughter as you reached the bottom.

He did the gentlemanly thing and made sure you landed on top of him, your face buried in his chest as you laughed.

"Well, I know you won but I damn sure didn't lose," he laughed, one of his arms landing on your back.

And in that moment, when you looked up, your hair in your face, and saw Billy's bright blue eyes piercing yours, it hit you.

You loved him.

He reached over to tuck some of your hair behind your ear and your heart fluttered, a little smile coming to your face. "I dunno, I think seeing your face when you tripped was the best prize of all."

He laughed and sat up, giving you a nudge with his shoulder. "I guess we're both winners then."

Then he stood up, offering you a hand. You took it, the feeling of his warm fingers making your stomach flip. He held your hand as you walked back up the hill, and you tied your horse on a branch so the two of you could sit in the shade of a tree. You let him talk aimlessly, distracted by your new discovery.

Suddenly you were noticing how handsome he was, how his hair fell in little curls on his forehead, how his skin was slightly tanned with a freckle here and there, how his smile was endearingly just a little crooked. And his eyes, the color of a clear sky. You were wholly enamored by him, and he had no idea.

He chattered with you for a while as you mused over it all. As the two of you watched the sunset, he reached over and picked a wildflower, placing it in your hand.

"For you," he said, his charming smile directed at you.

You treasured that memory every night after that.

From that point on, you were unsure how to act around him. He would joke around with you like usual and you responded in the like, but now with subconscious battles waging. Did he like you too? Were you just a little sister to him? What would Joe think?

All the things you normally did with him and Joe were now overthought on your part. You felt self-conscious now about going swimming with them in the lake, because you'd be wearing your white chemise, and they were shirtless in their underwear. The chemise stuck to your body when you swam, clinging to your newly grown breasts and your wet skin. Joe didn't pay any mind to it of course, but you could see that Billy noticed. Does that mean something?

Shooting was still fun, but one time when you missed and he stepped in to correct your form, you felt your breath hitch at his body being so close to yours.

You nursed the crush on him for a year, trying desperately to act normal around him so he wouldn't notice.

When your father died suddenly, you didn't have time for such things anymore. Joe stepped up to take over the ranch, and you did too, balancing books and managing the workers. You lost several nights of sleep trying to learn how to run everything properly. Your mother was long gone and your brother was taking care of the more physical aspects, so the responsibility fell on you.

Billy still came around to help out, but you were so busy you barely noticed. A part of you mourned it, the lost time. Because even tragedy couldn't squash feelings.

One day, he came over with a bunch of wildflowers, smiling as he gave them to you. He twisted his hat in his hands. "I just...I thought you could use somethin' pretty," he said, his blue eyes earnest.

You'd nearly burst into tears at the gesture, throwing your arms around his neck. He wrapped one arm around your waist, careful not to squash the flowers. "Thank you," you murmured, pulling back and kissing his cheek. "They're beautiful."

There was that charming smile again, melting your heart. "Thought of you when I saw 'em, you know cause they're-" he cut himself off, looking down and shaking his head. "Anyway, I'm glad you like 'em Daisy."

"How's your mama doing?" you inquired softly. His mother was sick, last you'd heard, with the same illness that had taken his brother.

Billy sighed, his emotion making him seem a hundred instead of eighteen. "She's hangin' in there."

"Good," you said, giving him a half smile. "Give her a kiss for me. She's the sweetest lady around these parts."

"Yes'm," he nodded. Then, he reached one of his hands up to cup your cheek, looking into your eyes with all the sincerity you'd ever seen from him. His palm was rough, and you liked the feeling, unable to help leaning into it as you gazed up at him. He hesitated, then leaned in and kissed your cheek, the little bit of stubble he had scratching against your soft skin.

Your smile was pure. "Was that from your mama?"

"No," he said, his thumb rubbing your cheekbone. "That was from me."

Billy leaned in and kissed your forehead, holding your head close to his shoulder for a moment before pulling back. As he left, his fingers trailed down your cheek, chucking you under your chin. "I'll see ya 'round, Daisy."

And then he trudged down the stairs, off to his horse to leave. You stood there on the porch, leaning against the railing for a moment and watching him get on his horse. Lifting your fingers in a wave, you watched him tip his hat before riding away.

You were distracted all night, frequently looking over at the wildflowers you'd put in a vase on your desk. His kisses played over and over again in your head like they were the only thing in it. When Joe came home, he asked what had your head in the clouds and you just said you had a good day. No need for him to know his best friend was kissing you, even innocently.

Billy's mother passed away one lonely night, and your heart ached for him like it hadn't for anyone else. Whenever you saw him after that, he carried a subtle melancholy that one had to know him to notice.

Joe noticed, you knew, and so he distracted Billy, frequently meeting up with him and another friend of theirs, Jesse. The man was an outrageous flirt, but good with a gun, and the other two boys liked his company well. You didn't know if what they got up to was legal, but you kept your thoughts to yourself, staying home and managing things there.

You'd catch a glimpse of Billy every now and then and remember that night on the porch, wondering if that was what he thought of when he saw you too. The nights were lonely when Joe was out with them, which was almost every night, and you longed for simpler times before anyone died. You yearned for the luxury of your young love for Billy because everything was different now. Childhood was over.

It seemed everywhere you looked a memory burst from your fingertips, the surfaces you touched more than senses. You mourned the loss of Joe, Billy and you. Those carefree wonderful children. It was all gone now.

On a rainy night in August, you were still in this haze, trapped in the past you could never reclaim. It was unusually chilly for this time of year, so you were sitting near the fireplace, trying to warm both your body and your heart. It was late. You'd been hoping Joe would come home soon but as the clock ticked, you realized it'd be another late night for him. You felt yourself growing tired, so you stood up, intending to go to bed.

Just as you started for the stairs, there was a heavy but frantic knock on the door, and you frowned. Who could be here this late?

You went to the door, opening it hesitantly, taken aback when you saw Billy on the other side. He was shivering, dripping water onto the porch. His eyes almost seemed like they were frozen in time, stuck on something he'd seen that'd change him forever.

"Billy?" you breathed, taking him by the hand and pulling him inside.

"'M sorry Daisy, 'm sorry for comin' here," he muttered, his teeth chattering.

You shushed him, bringing him to sit by the fire, spreading a blanket out for the two of you. He kicked off his boots before sitting beside you, his arms tight around himself to try and keep warm. The heat from the fire helped him loosen up after a moment, his shoulders relaxing, but only a little.

Your face shrouded with worry; you leaned closer to him. "Billy? What happened?"

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut and looking like he was trying not to cry. You'd never seen him like this. Not when he'd fallen out of a tree when he was ten, not when he'd stepped on a bee the same year, hell, not when his brother and mother died within such short time of each other. But now, now he was broken. He was falling apart just as you'd been for the past few months.

Wordlessly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him tight, and he buried his face in your shoulder. His arms wound around your waist, holding you snug to him. The front of your dress was getting wet because he was still soaked, but you didn't care, your body falling perfectly into his as you did your best to comfort him.

After a while of silence, he pulled back, just looking at you. There were tears clinging to his eyelashes, and his eyes looked bluer than you'd ever seen them. His lips parted, and his gaze was intense. Apparently tonight was the night for firsts, because this was another way you'd never seen him. His hands came up to your face, touching your cheeks hesitantly like he was afraid you'd disappear. One of his hands fell back to your waist, and you shivered slightly at the touch, unable to help yourself.

Billy's other hand slid to the back of your head, in your hair, his fingers tangling in the soft strands. He was looking at you like he'd never seen you before. You felt a pull in your heart, an urge to be closer, to be with him. It was impossible to remember what was lost now when he was right in front of you.

"Daisy." He pressed his forehead against yours, breathing softly, saying your name so quietly it felt like a prayer, a plea.

"Billy," you breathed, searching his eyes. You thought you knew every part of him, but you didn't know what he was going to do next.

So, when he kissed you, it was a supernova.

His lips crashed into yours, hot despite his trembling, needy in light of whatever the hell he'd been through that night. You'd never been kissed before, not like this. He was starving, desperate, and you had never wanted him more.

The hand in your hair pressed you closer to him, and you saw it all in his eyes when he pulled back slightly, the burning within him. Your hands framed his face, you leaned in for another kiss, and this time it didn't stop.

Before you knew it you were on your back, tearing at his shirt buttons. He shouldn't be wearing his wet clothes anyway. You did not think about Joe coming home, you did not think about the past for the first time in so long. His hands were on you too.

He caressed your body like he'd created it. Billy must have smoothed you out with his fingers, because you had never seen yourself the way you were reflected in his eyes. You had imagined doing this with him, of course, but here the line between fact and fiction became blurred. Is this real?

When he fastened his lips to the pulse point on your neck you gathered it was.

His fingers nimbly tugged at the top buttons of your dress, pushing open the folds to reveal your chest, which seemed to spur him on. Within minutes the garment was tossed elsewhere, his clothes were somewhere else, and his body was weighing on top of you in ways you never knew could be erotic. Skin against skin. Lips locked in a hungry dance. Limbs so tangled you didn't know whose was whose.

The windows fogged up from the rain, or your combined heavy breathing, you weren't sure when you were done. You were still knotted with him, his skin warmed from the fire. Billy traced shapes on your face with his calloused fingers, watching you tiredly with a fascination you'd never imagined could have related to you.

His gaze was very nearly adoring. You had dreamed of him looking at you like that. And now here the two of you were, side by side facing each other after doing the most intimate thing anyone could do. He was perfect in this light, the warmth from the fire making him glow.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, his finger trailing lightly down your cheekbone. "I never thought anyone could be this beautiful."

"How do you know?" you whispered, not really knowing what you were asking.

He seemed to understand anyways, leaning forward to capture your lips with his again, his kiss tender and sweet.

You looked up at him with stars in your eyes. "What does this mean?"

Billy was quiet, holding your face in his hand. He pressed his lips to your forehead, then your nose, then your lips again and you knew. He loved you too.

He pulled you close against him, so your head was resting on his collarbone, tucked beneath his chin. His hand rubbed up and down your arm, soothing you into sleep. You felt more comfortable, more loved than you had in a long time. In the morning you'd ask him more, you decided as you drifted off. You didn't want to ruin the quiet peace you finally held in your hands, his underneath, supporting it.

Sometime in the night, your peace shattered, and when you woke up he was gone.

The fire was burnt out. It had stopped raining. You were still lying on the blanket in front of the fireplace, but someone had taken the other half and folded it over you. Billy.

You held the edge of the blanket to your nose. It still smelled like him. Confused and dazed, you sat up and looked around. Obviously, Joe hadn't returned home because he would have thrown a fit over you sleeping naked in front of the fire. Your dress was folded messily by your side. There were dried boot prints on the wooden floor, the only shred of evidence that someone else had been there.

If you hadn't been naked, you would have thought you made the whole thing up. Billy, whom you'd loved for years, had stumbled upon your doorstep and cried in your arms, then made love to you? The notion was impossible, and yet you remembered every second of it.

You sat awhile there, the blanket around your legs, just reliving the night, before you decided you had better get up before your brother came home.

You waited anxiously for Joe, jumping to your feet when he walked through the door, hanging his hat. It was almost dark. He greeted you, looking tired.

"Joe?" you asked, standing subtly near him as he sat down, running a hand over his face.

"Hm?" he mumbled.

"Have you seen Billy at all today?" you asked casually, fidgeting with your fingers.

He looked somber as he met your eyes. "Billy left town."

It felt like you'd been knocked off your feet. Your heart pounded in your ears, your face going pale. "What do you mean he left?" There was a hint of desperation in your voice, but you didn't care.

"He's gone, little," Joe said drily, looking up at you. He looked so defeated, and it broke your heart.

Still, your breath shuddered as the gravity of the situation hit you. Billy was gone. Really gone. You didn't ask Joe how he knew, just sank into a chair and blinked back the hot tears that stung your eyes. He'd kissed you, performed an act of love upon you and then left.

Joe took pity on you, putting his arms around you and hugging you tightly, despite the fact you knew he was hurting too. "I know," he said quietly. "I know."

He knew you missed him. You wanted him to come back. He didn't know what you and Billy had shared the night before, didn't know how truly his best friend had hurt you.

You clutched at Joe and let a tear slip down your cheek, coming to terms with it all. It was likely you'd never see him again.

And in that moment, you felt the last threads of the childhood you'd been grasping at slip into the darkness. It was quiet, which was somehow worse than screaming.

You gathered the papers on the desk, stacking them neatly in a pile and putting your pen down. Being hunched over a desk all day was certainly draining, and you knew some fresh air would be just the thing. It was a springy June day, and you'd been yearning to escape the confines of your work as long as you'd been awake.

The house was quiet, as it'd been for months. Joe, as a way to make a little more money, had joined Jesse's gang, assuring you it was temporary. You'd let him go; confident you could handle things at the ranch by yourself. And you were right. Things were smooth, the banality of it all welcome after the tumultuous few years you'd had.

Jesse's gang was stationed at a hideaway not terribly far from the ranch, but far enough that you didn't go often, preferring that Joe come to you. You always felt like you were walking into the lion's den when you visited, the stares of men who hadn't had women for a long while fixed on you.

So, you stayed. And everything was fine.

You mused to yourself as you left the house, saddling your horse and meandering aimlessly into the trees. The sun was hitting your skin just right, and you tilted your head back, enjoying the warmth. You stopped in a little grove you were fond of, tying your horse and wandering around as you were wont to do.

Coming across a wildflower, you bent and picked it, tucking it behind your ear. There was nobody to see how the blue looked against your hair, but you did it anyway, liking how the gesture felt.

As your eyes caught the other flowers scattered in the grass, your mind wandered to the day on the hill. When he'd picked and given you a flower that looked just like the one behind your ear. You thought of Billy often, sometimes in anger, sometimes in sadness. But today he was only a memory, something nice you got to hold for a little while but was forced to let go of.

You hoped he was well. You always would.

It was unclear how long you'd stayed out when you decided to go back, but that was the beauty of living on your own. You were on your time.

Maybe you'd be able to do some reading tonight, you pondered as you rode back, your horse trotting contently. Fun reading, not ranch reading. You looked forward to the quiet evening in store, happy at the thought of having some time for yourself.

You reached the threshold of the ranch and saw instantly that your plans had been set aflame. Literally.

Flames licked at the walls of your childhood house, consuming the only home you'd ever known. You watched in horror, hands gripping the reins, as a group of bandanaed men, hats pulled low over their faces, rounded up horses and cattle, effectively stealing your livelihood.

You were frozen, eyes wide with fear. Nonononononononono.

One of the men, wearing a blue bandanna, spotted you, and your mind realized it before your body did, so your actions were too slow. You tried to tug at the reins of your horse, but the man was already running toward you, grabbing the saddle and dragging you off.

You screamed, hoping against hope that someone nearby would hear. it was a shot in the dark. Nobody lived less than twenty miles away. The man clapped a hand over your mouth, silencing you and pulling you a little way from your horse. One of his companions, whose bandanna was red, came over to investigate, looking you over with something in his eyes you did not appreciate.

"What do we have here, eh?" he grinned, and you struggled, whimpering in protest, the other man holding your hands behind your back.

"We could probably do somethin' with her too," Blue said, leaning over to study your face. "Pretty little thing ain't she?"

"Don't suppose we could take a turn with her first?" Red wondered.

"They won't know the difference," Blue shrugged.

Red's grin grew terrifyingly wider, and he reached out, hands running over your sides, stopping at your breasts. "Yeahh, she'll work great."

Your breath quickened as you realized what they wanted to do with you, and you acted before you could think about it. You kicked the Red between his legs, sending him sprawling backwards, and used that distraction to bend your knee, lifting your leg backwards and doing the same to the Blue. He groaned in pain, letting go of your hands, and you stumbled to your horse, mounting her and kicking her into a run.

Your horse galloped across the prairie, the wind blowing your hair back, hot tears running in rivers down your cheeks as you charged to the only place you knew you could go.

You had to stop to sleep at one point, and it was a restless night hidden in the trees. For food you stole berries from the bushes, thankful for your childhood that'd taught you which ones were good. You used your hands to scoop water from the creek.

Mercifully, you made it through the night without being kidnapped, and continued on to Jesse's hideaway, making it there about mid- afternoon. Your legs were sore from being atop a horse for hours, but you were afraid to stop longer than you had to.

At last, you could see the hideaway over the hill, and you rode desperately, stealing through the entrance. You could see a man standing at the water pump, and you prayed it was Joe, or even Jesse, someone. You jumped from your horse, tying her up on a fence post and running to him.

As you got closer, you could see it wasn't Joe or Jesse, but you kept moving toward him. Even if it was a new recruit, he could tell you when your brother would be back. You could pick out his features the closer you got, his dark hair, his tall build. The man heard you approaching and turned to face you, his eyes widening when he saw who you were.

You halted in your tracks, a few yards away from him, your heart beating a steady rhythm against your breast, both from the ride and the shock.

"You're so beautiful", you remembered, the words echoing through the hallowed halls of your memory. "I never thought anyone could be this beautiful."

He took a careful step toward you. "Daisy?"

The name only he'd ever called you on his lips after forever of not seeing him was the breaking point, and you burst into tears, running into his arms.

Billy held you against his chest, his arms secure around your shaking body. He whispered soothing things to you as you cried and clung to him like a lifeline. He dug his nose into your hair, kissing the top of your head. As he did, you wondered if it was a way of comforting you, or a gesture because he'd missed you. Maybe it was both.

"Shh, Daisy," he soothed, one arm around your waist, rubbing your back, the other at the back of your head, holding you to him. "You're gonna make yourself faint. Deep breaths now, c'mon."

He demonstrated for you, breathing in deep through his chest, the motion moving your body with him. You copied him, feeling your heart rate slow down and your mind clear a little, giving you refuge from the utter panic that'd been raging for the past twenty-four hours.

"That's it, just like that," he muttered, running his hand through your hair. "Everything's alright, you're safe. I've gotcha."

You let yourself relax into him, breathing softly for a moment and savoring him. You'd missed Billy, you knew that. But being in his arms again reminded you just how much. The envelope you thought you'd thrown away was torn open.

"You wanna tell me what's got ya so upset now?" Billy murmured against you, rocking you back and forth slightly, still holding you tight to him.

Taking in a shuddering breath, you pulled back slightly, looking up at him. He lifted a hand and caught a tear that had trembled its way down your cheek. "It's alright Daisy. You can tell me."

"Another gang," you choked, remembering everything. "They set the house on fire. Took all the horses 'n cattle. There's nothing left..." At that last part, your voice went high and trailed off as a fresh wave of tears cascaded down your face. Billy paled, his eyes widening.

"Oh Daisy." He squeezed you tight to him, letting you cry. "Daisy, Daisy...'m so sorry. Musta been awful..." Billy pressed his lips to your hair again. "'S okay. You're safe now."

You stood there with him, realizing his arms were the only thing in the world that could comfort you. You never wanted to leave the safety of them. Oh, how you'd missed them, missed him.

"You left me Billy," you breathed, unable to help it.

"I know sweetheart," he said, the term of endearment slipping from his lips as if he'd always said it. It warmed your heart.

"You left Joe too."

"I did."

"We needed you."

"I needed you too," was his quiet response. You looked up from his chest, searching his eyes when suddenly you heard a voice behind you.

"Who's this?" When you turned to see who it was, through teary eyes you saw a woman with brown hair holding a pot standing a few feet away. You found her rather pretty, but still furrowed your brow, confused. Joe had never mentioned a woman around, and you'd certainly never seen her before.

Billy told the woman your name, and maybe it was your imagination, but his arms seemed to stiffen a bit around you, holding you in closer. "Her brother's Joe."

"Ah, I see," the woman said, eyeing you. You gave her a little smile, not really in any position to meet new people. Still, you wanted to be friendly. It wasn't her fault you were homeless.

"Daisy this is Barbara," Billy said, nodding at the woman, who was still studying you. Her eyes lingered on the way you clung to Billy, seeming to pick up on the familiarity between the two of you.

"Hello," you said shyly, still wary of letting go of Billy. He didn't seem to mind, running his hand soothingly through your hair.

She didn't say hello back.

Billy looked up into the distance, and you heard the distinct sound of several hooves on the earth. The gang was back.

You let go of Billy and turned to watch them ride down the hill, spotting Joe instantly among them. Jesse was at the head, whooping and hollering as was usual. Billy kept a protective hand on your shoulder as the gang dismounted, seeming to know without you telling that you didn't exactly feel safe around most of them.

Joe ran up as soon as he saw you, pulling his bandana down. "What're you doin' here little?" Then he saw the tear tracks on your face. "What happened?"

He held out his arms and you fell into him. Joe hugged you tightly, albeit confusedly. "You shouldn't be here, you oughtta head back home-"

"Ain't no home to head back to Joe," Billy cut him off, folding his arms, his eyes on you.

Joe looked down at you, frowning. "What's he mean?"

You told him what happened, and his face fell. Even if he'd been absent lately, he'd grown up in the same house, held the same memories you did. He hugged you again. "I'm sorry you had to see that, little."

You sniffled, shaking your head. "I'm just glad I got away in time."

"Me too," Joe said, concernedly looking over you for injuries. "Ride over was alright? Didn't hit any trouble?"

"No," you shook your head again. "I had to stop and sleep, but when I rode in Billy was right there and-"

You'd looked over at Billy as you said it, but you cut yourself off when you saw his face. He wasn't watching you anymore. His eyes were on Barbara, who was in the middle of a nice long kiss with Jesse.

That look. You knew it not only because you'd spent half your life reading him, but because you'd felt it before, when you'd seen him flirt harmlessly with girls in the town you grew up. Jealousy. And a tinge of heartbreak. Mixed with that, hidden slightly beneath that was something else. Another thing you'd seen before. That slight, subtle look of possession.

You'd only seen it one time, and that time happened to be a certain night by the fireplace, right after something you'd only dreamed of sharing with him before.

And that's when it hit you.

He'd slept with her.

Billy had offered you his room, but you'd refused, opting to wait in Joe's for him. You didn't want to look at Billy right now.

When your brother finally came in, you sat up straight, looking at him expectantly. He held up a dress. "Took a bit of convincing, but this is one of Barbara's. You can wash the one you're wearing." He scratched his neck. "Me 'n some of the boys'll go back to the house 'n see if there's anything to salvage in a bit. Just in case."

You took it from him, holding it in your lap. It was blue, not the most flattering but you didn't care.

"Any news?" you asked softly, looking up at him.

"We sent a letter," Joe said, sitting down next to you. "All there's to do now is wait. But don't hold your breath. The law ain't fast around here."

"Thank goodness for you," you muttered, and he half-grinned, nudging your shoulder.

"Yeah, that's the way we like it," he said, looking down at his hands.

You were quiet for a moment before you asked, "When did Billy get here?"

Joe hesitated. "'Bout a week ago. Jesse found him passed out in the desert. Left him here with Barbara to get him healthy again while we rode out." He looked up at you. "I was gonna tell you."

"It's okay," you said, meaning it. "There wasn't any time to tell me between you leaving and...this." A familiar wave of grief passed over you as you thought about everything again. "When did Barbara join the gang? I've never seen her before."

"Jesse found her two months back," Joe explained. "Took a real liking to her. She was runnin' away from her folks. Seems they ain't nice people."

"And Barbara and Jesse're...?" you let your question trail off.

Joe laughed. "Yeah. If what I hear through the walls is any indication."

"Ah." You didn't tell Joe what you knew about her and Billy, even though hearing this confused you. Billy must have slept with her while the rest of the gang was gone. Joe wouldn't know why it had any significance to you.

Joe nodded, putting his hand on your shoulder. "You can stay here for a while, little, until we get things figured out. I'm sure Barbara'd be happy to have some help 'round here."

You weren't too sure Barbara would be happy to have anything to do with you at all, but you didn't tell Joe this, instead forcing a smile and nodding. "Okay."

"Good," Joe said, standing up from the bed, the loss of his weight making the springs creak. "I'll leave ya to get changed." He shut the door behind him.

You peeled your short-sleeved dress from your body, also in a light blue color. It'd been one of your favorites, and you were thankful it'd been spared from the fire.

Barbara's dress fit you well. It wasn't as stylish as yours, but that was the furthest thing from your mind. At least it was clean.

You took your dress outside to wash, scrubbing it of dirt and sweat and whatever else you'd encountered on the way over. When it was hanging out to dry, you wandered to a nearby tree, leaning against it and looking out at the plains for a moment. It was a sunny day, and you enjoyed it the best you could despite the circumstances.

The tree's branches were low enough for climbing, so you hauled yourself up, legs swinging as you sat on a branch midway from the top, leaning against the trunk. The bark was scratchy against your skin, but you paid the sensation no mind, just staring at the clear sky.

Footsteps crunched through the grass below you. You didn't turn your head to see who it was. Call it a sixth sense but you always knew when he was near.

Billy scaled the tree to sit on the same branch, leaning back on another one just a little higher than yours. Of course he'd want to talk to you.

"Joe 'n the others left for the house," he said, but you didn't turn your head, still watching the clouds.

"I didn't stay to see how far the fire got," you said quietly. "I don't know if there's anything worth saving."

"Still." Billy shifted. "They'll be back tomorrow mornin'."

You turned your body to face his, so your back was fully against the trunk. In your frenzy earlier, you hadn't gotten a good look at him. He'd grown in his time away from you. He seemed sturdier, surer of himself. His hair was a little bit longer, his skin a little more weathered. And he was handsomer than ever. "You didn't go with 'em?"

"They figured I'd best not show my face 'round those parts just in case," he said, half smiling. "Y'know, cause of last time I was there."

You were quiet, still looking at him, and his smile dropped. "You don't know."

"Last time I saw you was when we..." you trailed off, biting your lip. "You didn't tell me anything, just-"

"I'm sorry for that, Daisy," he mumbled, looking at his feet.

"Sorry for sleeping with me?" you asked, your voice's tone heightening pathetically.

"No," Billy shook his head instantly. "Not that...never that. I'm sorry for takin' advantage of you. For not tellin' you what was goin' on."

"What happened?" you asked, your voice desperate. You looked at him with all the hurt that had festered in your being for months. "You slept with me and then left. I was so worried..." your breath hitched, and you looked away.

"Daisy," he murmured, reaching for your hand, but you moved it to your face, running a hand over it. Billy sighed, and you could feel it, the weight of whatever he'd done, wherever he'd been. "The night before...Jesse'd-" he cut himself off for a moment. "Jesse'd talked me into doin' somethin' real stupid. Somethin' that got me arrested. I'd escaped from jail the night I came to see you."

You turned to look at him, your eyes wide. Given the ranch had been a little way from town, you didn't often hear of news like that, mostly keeping to yourself. Of course you wouldn't have known. "Billy..."

"I'm a wanted man, Daisy," Billy breathed, his blue eyes piercing yours. "I've been in another county for a while, and then I got into some more trouble and left. Got robbed somewhere in the desert and Jesse found me 'n brought me here. That's all there is to it." He brought his hand to your face, then through your hair so he was holding you there. The feeling of his big hand there was familiar, comforting.

You sniffled a bit, closing your eyes for a moment to feel it. Everything made sense now. The way he'd come to you, the reason he'd left. But it'd still hurt you.

"That night," you said softly, your eyes still glued to his. You couldn't have pulled away if you tried. "What we did...did it...mean anything to you?"

"Yeah," he whispered, his eyes earnest. "Of course it did Daisy...I'd never..." he swallowed. "You've been on my mind a whole lot since I left."

His words made your heart soar with hope, but then you remembered Barbara, and it plummeted back to earth. The realization lowered your voice. "I've thought about you too Billy."

"Yeah?" he asked, eyes hopeful.

"Yeah." You looked down. "I missed you."

Billy wordlessly moved closer to you on the branch, drawing you into his arms. He kept his hand in your hair, his favorite place it seemed. He held you to him for a bit, and you relaxed for the first time in a day.

Holding you against him still, he asked, "What exactly happened at the ranch Daisy?"

"I already told you." Your words were muffled against his chest.

"Yeah, but I know that ain't all that happened," Billy said, pulling you back a little so he could look at you. "I know you. There's somethin' else."

You thought with a tiny shudder of the men who'd grabbed you, and what they would have done to you if you hadn't gotten away. "No. I told you everything."

"Daisy." His voice was firm, and you knew he meant it.

"Billy," you said back, leaning into his chest again. "I don't want to talk about it."

He was quiet for a moment, then he nodded. "Okay." You were thankful he didn't ask any more questions.

You spent the night in Joe's room since he was absent, and all the while you thought about Billy. And Barbara. Was she in his bed right now, or was he in hers? Would you wake up to the sounds of them doing something you didn't even want to think about? Eventually you fell asleep, tortured by what you'd make up.

When you woke in the morning, you donned your dress that had dried out over the porch yesterday and went outside, looking for anyone. You spotted Barbara at the water pump and made your way over, standing shyly in front of her. "Hello."

She looked at you, giving you a once over that seemed to be her habit. "Hello."

"Is there anything I can help you with?" you asked, fidgeting with your hands behind your back. She intimidated you, and it wasn't just because you knew about her and Billy. There was a certain element about her that caused you to retreat into your shyer tendencies.

Barbara paused for a moment, thinking. "You can fry the eggs in the kitchen for the three of us. And wake Billy. He's a deep sleeper."

You knew that, and for some reason it hurt that she did. Nodding, you turned around and went right back to the house, slightly bothered by your interaction with her.

When you got to the kitchen you decided to make the eggs first, hoping the smell would rouse Billy from sleep. When the food was plated and he still hadn't appeared, you sighed and went to his bedroom, the only door that was closed.

He was shirtless as he slept, lying on his stomach with his head turned to the side. The sheets were pulled to his waist, revealing the messy outline of his legs. Billy looked pretty when he was asleep, but you always thought him pretty.

You sat on the bed, contemplating lying down with him. in your experience shaking him rarely, if ever worked. Still, you tried, and unsurprisingly it was not successful.

So, you went with your other idea lying down facing him. Your hand reached out to trace your fingers down his arm. He took in a sharp breath, and instantly you knew he was awake. Billy's arms reached out, wrapping around your waist and pulling you into his chest. "Daisy," he murmured without opening his eyes.

"You gotta wake up Billy," you said softly, putting a hand on his warm chest. He opened his eyes, almost seeming surprised that you were there.

"'M I dreamin'?" he mumbled sleepily, and you smiled, shaking your head.

"Don't think so." You ran your fingers up and down his arm again. He'd filled out, his muscles were tauter.

He shook his head, seeming to remember something. "Right." Billy loosened his hold on you, but still didn't let go.

His hair was a mess, little dark curls matting his forehead. Your eyes roved over him, catching all the familiar details you'd picked up on from your years together. The way his hair curled by his ears. The tiny birthmark under his jaw. His thick, dark eyelashes.

You ached to touch him, but you didn't, letting him hold you a little longer before you heard the front door open. Barbara was back. Sitting up, you rubbed his shoulder. "C'mon, get up. We've got eggs."

Billy grumbled a bit, pawing at you. "Couple more minutes?"

"Uh uh, get up," you said, getting off the bed and leaving, shutting the door behind you.

Barbara was in the kitchen when you came back, eating already. She nodded at you. "Thanks."

You gave her a tiny smile. "You're welcome. Least I can do for you lettin' me stay."

She half smiled dryly at you. "It'd be a sorry sight if I kicked Joe's sister out."

You didn't know what to say to that, so you were thankful when Billy walked in, wearing a blue striped shirt. It was one of your old favorites, and you wondered if he'd known that. Likely not.

"Thanks Daisy," he said, grabbing his portion. You all lingered in the kitchen, eating quietly, the only sound being forks scraping against plates.

Barbara put her clean plate on the counter first. "I'm gonna go finish chores. Billy? You comin'?"

He paused. "I was gonna take Daisy for a ride. That okay or do ya need help?"

She looked from him to you, and you looked down at your plate, not knowing if you should say something. "No. That's alright, I'll manage."

And with that she left the kitchen. You looked over at Billy. "Are you sure she doesn't need help?"

"Nah, all this week by the time I got up she usually had everything mostly done," Billy said, putting the last forkful of eggs in his mouth.

"Are you sure?" you asked nervously, looking at the door she'd gone out of. "I'd feel bad if-"

"Daisy, it's alright," Billy assured you, seeing your empty plate and taking it, stacking it on Barbara's. "After what you've been through, you're allowed to have a day, alright? 'Specially if your work habits haven't changed since I last saw you."

You smiled at that. "I do kinda get carried away."

"I know," he said, taking your hand. "C'mon, let's go. I miss ridin' with you."

You let him pull you to the horses, unable to say no to him, but also because you'd missed it too.

Mounting your beloved horse, you petted her mane softly. She must've been tired after the long ride here, but now after a good night's sleep she nickered softly at your touch, and you smiled fondly.

You guided your horse to follow Billy's, riding through the open hills and into a forest-like area, with trees and wildflowers blooming from the earth. It was beautiful, and you enjoyed your surroundings as you followed him. It was funny to think that just a day ago you'd been doing this exact thing, with no hope of seeing him again. But now here you were.

Keeping to the routine the two of you had always followed, you tied up your horses and went to walk through the trees together.

"You still ride like this often or did I jump the gun and assume you did?" Billy asked, striding alongside you through the grass.

"I do, pretty often now that I-" you cut yourself off. "When I lived alone."

"You were really livin' by yourself?" Billy asked, peering down at you as you walked.

"Yeah," you said. "Since Joe joined the gang."

"I see," Billy said, keeping his tone even. But you knew he objected to the principle of it. A woman living alone with no male protection.

"I've been fine," you said, trying to convince both of you. "I keep to myself, y'know? I've always liked that."

"Yeah," he said. His eyes looked sad. "But I imagine it still got lonely."

You were quiet for a moment before responding. "In a way."

He half smiled, looking down as you reached a hill, steadying his motions so he wouldn't fall. "Is that what you've been up to the past little bit? Ridin' and bookkeepin'?"

"Pretty much," you said. "I keep a quiet life. Not like you at all, I'm sure."

He chuckled lightly. "It ain't at all like you're imagining, I'm sure."

"Not from what I've heard," you smiled. "Joe filled me in a bit. Billy the Kid, huh?"

"Hey now," he grinned. "It's William H. Bonney now for all intents and purposes."

"What's the H stand for?" you asked, raising your eyebrows teasingly.

"That's enough outta you," he pushed your arm lightly, and you laughed. The two of you stopped under a tree, sitting down in the shade for a bit. Billy settled in next to you, bending down and resting his chin on your shoulder.

You picked a blue wildflower, twirling the stem between your fingers. It was the same color as the dress you'd been loaned, lighter than the one you had on now, lighter than Billy's shirt. "Barbara..."

"What about her?" he asked, looking at you, his chin remaining on your shoulder.

"I like her," you said, and to your surprise, as you said it you found it was true. Despite her stiffness you appreciated what she'd been through, how she'd been able to find her place here.

"You like everyone Daisy," Billy half-smiled, leaning back against the tree.

"I mean it," you said, mirroring his actions and turning on your side to face him. "She's lovely. I can see why you...like her."

"Why'd you say it like that?" Billy asked, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

You were quiet for a moment, contemplating whether or not you should go there. "I know you slept with her."

He turned his head fully to face you and you looked down at your flower again. Billy used his finger to tilt your chin up. "Daisy how'd you-?"

"The way you looked when she kissed Jesse yesterday," you said softly. "I know you Billy. And that's just how you looked at me after..." You trailed off and looked away.

Billy's arm around you stiffened, but he didn't take it away. "You're right. It did happen once. But...I dunno Daisy," he said tiredly. "I was alone with her after I almost died. The heat of the moment got to me. I didn't know she was with Jesse. And now that you're here-" he paused. "It don't mean what you think it does."

You shook your head. "You're not one to even kiss someone for no reason Billy. I know you care about her."

"She saved my life, of course I care about her," he breathed, meeting your eyes. "But not like you, Daisy. Never like you."

You looked down, feeling emotional. "But you left me."

"Daisy, I had to," he pleaded. "I was wanted, hell I'm still wanted-"

"But you could have told me something, anything instead of making me feel like a warm body," you said, drawing back from him. His arm fell from around you, and he looked at you for a moment, seeming surprised.

But then he nodded somberly. "You're right. You're completely right Daisy. I'm sorry."

Your smile was barely there. "I understand Billy."

Then with that you stood up, going to find your horse.

Joe returned with more than you thought he would have, telling you the fire had consumed a lot of the first floor but not the second. With no structure to stand up on, it had collapsed of course, but he was still able to salvage a few of your dresses, and some of your books.

You'd been thrilled at that, relieved to be able to give Barbara her dress back, thanking her profusely. She'd only smiled tightly and taken it away to wash.

Joe had been right about the law being slow. A week from the fire and you had yet to hear back from them concerning the damage to the property. So, in the meantime, you waited.

In the weeks that followed, you insisted on helping Barbara with the chores and she reluctantly let you. You took your horse out for a ride every day, sometimes without Billy, but more often with.

He started leaving with the gang to help out on jobs. You were surprised to find yourself missing him in the time he was gone. Since Joe was back, he offered you his bed, but you didn't take him up on it, still wary of whatever was happening with Barbara. No matter how casual it may or may not have been, you didn't want to upset her. Even though you could steadily feel old feelings gnawing at you, growing stronger.

You tried to keep a little distance, but it was impossible, his allure drawing you to him naturally. He'd accompany you everywhere; to the well, on your rides. Wherever you were, Billy could usually be found. You knew the rest of the gang noticed, though nobody commented on it. The weeks passed peacefully.

Until one night, when you awoke in a fit of adrenaline and sweat, a dream that felt more like a memory dancing in front of your eyes.

The men...the way they grabbed you...what they would have done to you...

You hugged your arms around yourself, shivering with tears. Even though you now knew it was just a dream, the weight of what had happened was collapsing you. You hadn't told anyone about it, even though you knew Billy was onto you.

Your head whipped to Joe, asleep in his bed. He'd offered it to you of course, but you'd declined just as you had with Billy, not wanting to upheave the house any more than you had.

Joe was the best of brothers to you. Still, you didn't want to tell him about the other events of that day. So, you stood up and went to the hallway, hoping the movement would calm your pounding heart. It didn't, which made you panic even more. You ran your hands over your arms, your breathing not slowing down. The house was quiet, so you did your best to keep it that way.

It became evident quickly that you wouldn't be able to calm yourself on your own. You needed someone near you.

Your feet carried you to the room before you knew it, opening the door and shutting it quietly behind you. When you turned, you were surprised to see Billy sitting up in his bed, the lantern by his bed lit. He frowned in surprise when he saw you. "Daisy, what-" he caught your fearful expression, your heaving chest. Then he opened his arms, recognizing the situation. "C'mere."

Giving a little whimper, you rushed to him, collapsing into his arms. Billy held you tight to him, and when his hand found its usual place behind your head you nearly sobbed with relief. He opened his knees so you could lie between them, against his bare chest as you cried softly.

"Shh Daisy, easy, easy," he murmured, smoothing his hand over your back. "Alright sweetheart, you're safe. You're safe. I've gotcha."

It was the second time he'd used that specific term of endearment, and you clung to him tighter because of it. Billy rubbed your back and rested his cheek against the top of your head. When your crying slowed down, he whispered, "Atta girl, keep it steady f'me? That's it, sweetheart, that's it."

You laid in the comfort of his arms in a haze afterwards, making sure your tizz was well and truly passed. Billy turned you on your side, facing him as he turned on his. He held you in his gaze, one of his arms wrapped loosely under you, the other on your arm, fingers going up and down in a soothing manner.

He reached out that hand, tentatively, and traced your face ever so gently. His roughened finger trailed over your cheek, your hairline, then down your nose. His eyes like the sky followed the path. His palm ended up on your cheek, and you leaned into it, your eyes locked with his.

"Daisy..." he murmured, his thumb rubbing your cheek. You knew he wanted you to tell him what had happened, why you had stumbled in crying.

"Bad dream," you whispered pathetically, closing your eyes.

Billy said nothing for a moment, and when you opened your eyes, he touched his forehead to yours briefly, a gesture of comfort that worked. "What about?"

You hesitated, sniffling lightly. Telling him sounded dreadful, but it was weighing on you so much that you felt you had no choice. "The day of the fire."

"Ah," Billy nodded respectfully, tucking your hair behind your ear. The more he touched you the better you felt.

"Not about the fire itself though," you said softly.

"Hm?" he prompted, and you wanted to kiss him right then for letting you tell what you wanted.

You closed your eyes briefly before continuing. "The day of the fire...the men who started it..." your voice was becoming higher and more hysterical as you continued, your words pushed together as you tried to get them out as quickly as possible. "They grabbed me...tried to take me somewhere. And one of them touched me-" your voice hitched as more tears fell down your cheeks.

"Oh baby," Billy murmured, and he brought you closer to him, his lips meeting your forehead. Him calling you baby only made you feel safer, more loved. He gathered you closer, so you were pressed right up against him, your hand on his chest. If his hand hadn't already found its place on the back of your head, you would have guided it there. You loved the weight of it, the way it held your face to his chest.

Your hand slid around his chest, under his arm and onto his back so you could hold onto him as well. He nudged his nose against your head, planting another kiss there. Then another. Then another.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart," he muttered, and you relished the feeling of his big hands on your body with the sole purpose to comfort you. "I'm sorry nobody was there. I'm sorry I wasn't there-"

"It's not your fault Billy," you said, tears still adorning your voice. "You couldn't have known-"

"No, Daisy," he said slightly more firmly. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you all this time. I'm sorry I left, I'm sorry we shared something so special and then I hurt you because of it. I'm not sorry we did it, but I am sorry for how I was."

You removed your hand from his back, settling it on his own cheek. Your other hand was wedged between your chests, resting against the sheets. "It's okay Billy. It's all okay now."

He took your hand off his cheek and pressed his lips to your fingers. A wisp of a smile made its way onto your face, and you cuddled close to him. Billy held you tightly in his arms. In that moment, you felt as if he could keep the bad dreams away with only that.

From that night on, you slept in his bed.

You'd start out in your usual place on the floor in Joe's room. Then after you fell asleep, you'd slip from the spot and quietly sneak down the hall to Billy's bed and Billy's arms. There were no more nightmares after that.

It was all very innocent. You'd lay side by side, facing each other, limbs tangling tightly. He'd nudge a few kisses against your forehead soothingly. You'd take his hand in yours and guide it to the back of your head if it wasn't there already. And then the you both would fall asleep, nothing bad to report in the morning.

Billy had never been an early riser. He was always the last one to wake up, always finding some kind of excuse to sleep in. It was something you and Joe had teased him for.

But almost every morning you woke to him watching you, his oceans of eyes sleepy, his hair was a mess. He was so pretty in the morning, with the sunlight spilling through his window onto his skin. The first day this happened you realized that this was how you'd imagined you'd wake up on that night you'd spent together.

Those thoughts had been little bits of gold you'd stored in your heart, secrets you thought would die with you. But now they were real.

And even though most mornings he awoke first, some mornings you did.

On that rare occasion, you'd snuggle deeper into his arms, and he'd stir slightly, his arms tightening around you. But most of the time it was him, and you wondered if his habits had changed when he was away. But thinking back to your first morning here, you knew they hadn't.

On a Tuesday about two months into your stay, it was one of those usual mornings, and you were sprawled on your side, facing away from him. Your hair was spread out on the pillow, your legs tangled with his. You awoke to a shuffling on the bed, and then an arm twined around you and pulled you closer to Billy's warm chest.

"You're too far away," he mumbled sleepily. You turned in his arms to lie on your side and face him. Billy was on his back, looking down at you with a fond smile. He blinked sleepily, and you moved closer to him to rest your head on his shoulder, nuzzling your cheek onto him.

"Better?" you propped your chin up on his arm.

"Better," he grinned.

You were just about to settle back into him when the door opened suddenly to reveal Joe on the other side. His eyes widened in shock when he saw you cuddled in Billy's arms, in Billy's bed.

"The hell?" Joe looked utterly confused. A little betrayed, maybe.

Sitting up, you attempted to explain. "I know what this looks like-"

"Billy why're you in bed with my sister?" Joe folded his arms, eyebrows raised, tone sharp.

You looked from Joe to Billy, worried something violent would happen. But finally, Billy responded. "Daisy's been havin' nightmares. I was only makin' sure she slept."

"You have?" Joe frowned. "You ain't ever had many nightmares before little."

It was true. Before the incidents surrounding the fire, you hadn't even dreamed often. You didn't want to tell Joe what happened, but you couldn't lie to him. So, you merely nodded.

Joe's face softened. "'M sorry little. You coulda told me, y'know?"

You bit your lip and nodded again.

"But I understand," your brother affirmed, nodding at Billy. "So long as there's no funny business, yeah?"

"None," Billy nodded back. Despite all this, you knew Joe trusted Billy with you, which was saying a lot. Your brother had a habit of being overprotective.

Joe looked between the two of you again and nodded once more, leaving with that and shutting the door behind him. From that point on you went straight into Billy's room every night.

He became a symbol of comfort to you. You knew his arms were open when you needed them. Things fell back into the way they were before, only this time there was something else between you two.

You felt it in every facet of your being with him. When you'd go for walks in the hills together. When you'd wake up in his arms. When he'd shake a little pepper over your eggs before giving you your plate because he knew you liked them that way. When he'd join you under the shade of a tree and rest his head in your lap. Billy was filling in the cracks that had formed over the months. He was patching you whole.

It was unclear if anyone else noticed, but you knew they didn't not notice. The two of you were drawn together. When Billy would come home from jobs with the gang you'd run to him first. Joe would make a little quip about it before hugging you, a cheeky, knowing smile gracing his lips.

Barbara seemed immune to all of this. She continued as she always did, but you still felt bad, like you'd taken something from her. Even though the first person she'd run to was always Jesse.

You tried to let this information soothe you.

The ranch was finally attended to, and you and Joe made the decision to sell the land. It made you a pretty penny despite all the damage from the fire. That night you'd laid silently beside Billy, too sad to say anything. You'd grown up there, hell, Billy had practically grown up there too. But as you thought of the last somber months you'd spent there; you knew it hadn't been the land that made that time special.

You still had what had made it special.

Jesse became anxious about the location of the gang, so he determined it was time to leave the hideaway behind and set out for another town. You welcomed the change, packing away what little you had and following them.

If you were being honest, as long as you had Billy and Joe you knew you'd be fine. So, you left in good spirits. Barbara parted ways with the gang then, taking a job as a schoolteacher in another town. You knew the two of you would never be close, but you still parted with a smile, and a sincere thank you for all she'd done. Maybe it was your imagination, but her smile seemed a little more genuine as you said goodbye.

"People can't help but like ya Daisy," Billy said when you told him about it. He was riding alongside you behind everyone, the hideaway in the distance behind you. "You're sweet. Not likin' ya feels like hurtin' a butterfly."

The analogy made you smile, a little blush gracing your cheeks. The way he looked at you and talked to you made you feel rare.

Once you got to town, Joe came to a conclusion. While the rest of the gang kept rented rooms at a nearby inn, the two of you used the money from the ranch to buy a nice little piece of land nearby, with an old house already on it. You wouldn't have minded staying at the inn, but Joe insisted, saying he wanted something permanent for his sister. Especially now that they all had steady work. And unlike in the past, it was honest.

Billy seemed especially happy about that, chattering eagerly about how good it'd be now that they were working with the law, not against it. It was endearing how excited he was. Despite the picture wanted posters painted of him, he had a gentle heart, and he never wanted to do any wrong.

The only thing you didn't like about this new setting was that you no longer slept beside him, but your nightmares had disappeared into memories, and you determined you'd be fine. Even though you missed his warmth as the fall bled into winter.

He was still a fixture in your life. His presence was still constant. The gang was all at Joe's and your house often, but Billy was there individually even more.

It was a funny thing, what being around him so often did for you. Previously, you had remembered the childhood love you'd had for him, and it had been painted blue. But in the love you felt for him now, you could feel what you'd had before at the roots. It was a flower that you'd thought had shriveled up and died, but now you realized it was simply dormant, waiting to bloom.

And the more you thought about it, the more you realized you wanted it to.

It was on your mind one night when Joe and the gang were in the kitchen. You and Billy had ventured out to the fireplace, kneeling close to it and talking. It was eerily similar to that night, the one you'd thought of lately more often than you wanted to admit.

"Do ya think you'll stay here?" Billy wondered, bending his knees to rest his arms on them.

"I don't see why not," you said thoughtfully, his blue eyes drawing yours to them like they always did. "Joe's here, you're here...I can see myself being happy here."

"I think ya are happy here Daisy," Billy said, a little smile coming to his face as he said it. "I ain't seen you this happy in a while."

He was right. You hadn't been this content since your father died. "it's the same for you Billy," you commented, shifting closer to him for warmth. "You're not as restless as you used to be."

"Well, no," he said, grinning as he looked into the fire. "There's lotsa reasons for that."

"Like...?" you prompted, tilting your head playfully.

"Well for starters, I ain't breakin' the law to make money no more," Billy said, and you nodded. "There ain't no pressure to move around so much. But also..." he turned his head to look at you. "Havin' you around. Havin' Joe around. It's made all the difference."

You were quiet for a moment, the sentiment warming you more than the fire ever could. "Having me around?"

"'Course," he said, reaching out and tugging on your arm to bring you closer to him. One of his arms slid around your waist and you rested your head on his shoulder. "Ya mean a lot to me Daisy. Ya know that, right?"

"It's still nice to hear it," you smiled, settling into his side. "You...you mean a lot to me too. Always have."

"Yeah?" he looked pleasantly surprised. "Well, you're a sweetheart anyways. My sweetheart."

The way he said it implied something else, but you didn't correct him, only lifting your head from his shoulder and looking into his eyes again. The fire was reflecting off his face, making him look softer. You looked from his eyes to his lips. There was that magnetic draw again. "And are you mine?"

He paused, looking like he'd been caught doing something, but then he slowly nodded, searching your eyes. "I've always wanted to be yours."

Your heart fluttered and you thought for a moment you were in a dream. But when he brought his hand to your cheek, you knew you weren't.

Billy acted before you could, leaning forward and gently pressing his lips to yours. His hand slid to its spot in your hair. You melted.

His kiss was brief, but it imprinted itself on your being. You leaned into it, your hand resting on his chest as your lips moved against his. It was so impossible, all of it, and yet.

When he pulled back, you stayed in your haven between his arms. He pressed one, then two light kisses against your soft smile and you saw stars.

Then Joe shouted something from the other room and Billy looked up, sighing and shaking his head. He stood up, bringing you with him. His lips found your brow lightly, a silent promise that you'd talk about this later. Then he took your hand and lead you into where everyone else was. It was good he had a hold on you, because you weren't sure you could have found your way there on your own. The kiss had left you engrossed in a dreamy haze.

He sat at the table with everyone else, and when he saw there weren't any open chairs, pulled you down to sit on his thigh. Joe raised an eyebrow, but that was all. You were content to lean against Billy for the rest of the night.

It was hard to sleep when you tried after everyone left. Billy hadn't kissed you goodbye, but he'd held you close for a bit and said he'd see you tomorrow.

All these months, all this time, you hadn't been sure if he'd held onto the feelings of the past. But you supposed it didn't matter now, because he felt this way right now. He wanted you close to him as you did.

The next day you woke early. You decided to get a few errands done as a way to divert yourself. You'd see Billy later.

It was a pleasant ride into town. The winter sun was warm on your bundled up frame, and you enjoyed it. The snowstorms of late had often kept you indoors, so it was nice to have this pocket of time.

You tied up your horse and went into the general store, a list prominent in your head. Grain, candles, matches-

You halted in your tracks when you opened the door.

There were already customers inside. But you recognized them.

"Don't suppose we could take a turn with her first?" Red wondered.

"They won't know the difference," Blue shrugged.

Red's grin grew terrifyingly wider, and he reached out, hands running over your sides, stopping at your breasts. "Yeahh, she'll work great."

Before one of them could turn around and see you, you stepped out, heart pounding a hole into your chest. Your ears were ringing with the memory. The world seemed to spin. Why are they here? How did they get here?

Putting a hand to your heart to try and calm it, you looked around, spotting the inn the gang was staying at. Billy, you needed Billy.

You ran across the street, opening the door and realizing you didn't know which room he was staying in. As you wandered in frantically you found it didn't matter. He was sitting at a table with Charlie, talking about something, his back to you.

Charlie saw you though, and must have noticed your distress, because he nudged Billy, nodding at you. Billy turned around, and instantly stood, meeting you halfway and gathering you into his arms. "Daisy, Daisy, what happened? What's the matter?"

He sounded concerned, and you thanked the heavens for him. Your ear was against his heart, the steady thumping soothing you almost immediately. "They're...they're here," you mumbled weakly

"Who's here Daisy?" His hand. His hand on your head. It felt like it could shield you from everything.

You lifted your head, but his hand stayed there. Your breathing was still frantic. "The men...from the fire..."

His eyes darkened. "Where?"

"The general store," you breathed, and he gritted his teeth, looking up at the window. You tugged at his shirt. It was the striped one, the one you'd confessed to him you loved.

He looked back at you, his eyes softening. Then he moved, setting you on the chair he'd been sitting in previously, kneeling in front of you. "I need you to stay here, alright? I don't want you to ride back without me." Billy looked up, at someone behind you and summoned them. "Mrs. Peña?"

An older Mexican woman bristled over, and Billy said something to her in Spanish. She looked at you, looking confused as she responded. He nodded, squeezing your hand and saying something back.

Over the years of knowing him, you'd only picked up on a little Spanish, jealous of his ability to learn the language so easily. As Billy and Mrs. Peña conversed; you only caught a few words. Scared, safe, needs, help.

The older woman gave Billy a fond smile and nodded. He returned it, then turned his attention back to you. He kissed the fingers of the hand he was still holding. "You're gonna stay here, okay? Mrs. Peña and her husband own the inn. They're gonna keep an eye out for you."

"What are you going to do?" you whispered, your eyes wide in horror as you sifted through possibilities.

"Don't pay any mind to it," he said, squeezing your hand from where he was kneeling still. "I won't be long."

And with that, he stood up, kissed your forehead, and beckoned to Charlie, who followed him out the door. Your breaths were still fast as you watched him leave, and then you turned to Mrs. Peña. She gave you a warm smile and took your hand. You accepted it, stood up, and followed her to the kitchen, to a chair close to the sink. She gestured at it. "Sit."

You did as she asked, watching her flit around, preparing and sorting. Trying to remember the right words, you asked her in very broken Spanish if there was anything you could do to help.

She smiled and shook her head, motioning for you to stay. But you insisted. "¿Por favor?"

Mrs. Peña seemed to understand that you needed a distraction, so she took pity on you, waving you over to where she was sorting vegetables.

Billy didn't return for several hours, and so you accompanied Mrs. Peña, helping her with anything she'd let you. She spoke a little English, and you a little Spanish, so you managed. She was a very warm lady, and you felt bad for burdening her, telling her so as you helped her fold sheets in the empty front room that evening. But she shook her head, patting your hand fondly. "Eres una chica dulce."

That made you smile.

It was dark when they came back. You were surprised to see it wasn't just Billy and Charlie, but the entirety of the gang, including Joe. Mrs. Peña gave your hand another pat, and took the folded sheets away, leaving you with everyone. Billy stopped her and whispered something to her that she nodded and smiled at.

You stood up, and Joe came over, putting his arms around you and hugging you for a long time. He smiled sadly when he pulled back. "It's all okay now, little." He looked over at Billy, nodding. "Reckon you'll wanna stay here tonight. I'll bring your horse back." Joe kissed your forehead and left.

The interaction was confusing but touching. You watched your brother leave, questions swirling through your mind like a flurry. Then you turned and looked at Billy, who reached a hand out for you. "C'mere Daisy."

Of course you went to him, his fingers intertwining with yours as he pulled you upstairs to his room. He shut the door behind you and locked it. It was only then that you noticed his knuckles were stained with dry blood.

Gasping in horror, you took the other one in your free hand, holding them up to examine them. "Billy...Billy what did you do?"

He shook his head, trying to reassure you. "It's not all my blood."

That only worried you further. "What on earth were you doing?"

Billy sighed, looking down for a second, reluctant to tell you. "We took care of the men who started the fire. You ain't gotta worry 'bout them anymore Daisy."

"What do you mean you took care of them?" you asked desperately.

He shook his head again, more firmly this time. "That's not for you to know. But it's all okay. You're safe now. That's all that matters."

You wanted to push the issue, but you realized there was probably a reason he wasn't telling you. So, you gave up. "Okay."

Billy pulled you to sit on his bed, your knees touching, and just watched you, checking for any hint of distress. "How're ya doing Daisy?"

Surprisingly, you found your token answer to be correct. "I'm okay."

He smiled briefly in acknowledgement. "Good. I want ya to be okay."

There was a comfortable quiet for a moment between you two. You didn't want to look at anything but him, didn't want to be anywhere else but here. Right now, he was your center, the very thing keeping you from floating into the sky.

Billy's hand moved to your hips, pulling you in closer. His eyes found yours as he said, "I want you to know I'm always gonna protect ya. You have Joe but ya also have me. You've always had me."

"Always," you repeated softly, and he smiled. His other hand reached up to tuck some of your hair back.

"Daisy..." he started, and you felt it. That fluttering, that warmth in your chest that he only seemed to be the cause of. "Did ya know I've always loved you?"

You tilted your head, waiting for him to explain, ignoring the butterflies sprouting in your heart.

He smiled in a nostalgic way. "You were a friend. A good friend. But I woke up one day and ya just...weren't that anymore."

"How long?" you whispered.

"Years, Daisy," he brought both his hands to your cheeks. "Years 'n years. Dunno if you remember awhile back, but me 'n Joe were comin' back from doin' somethin' in town, trouble probably." He paused to smile, shaking his head. "You were up in the branches of a tree, readin'. Looked real pretty. Think ya had a flower in your hair." Billy breathed a laugh, looking down for a second. "Mighta been a daisy. 'N ya looked up, smiled at me. And I knew I'd love ya forever."

Your lips parted slightly at the confession, and you felt a sweet smile spreading over your face. A light laugh of disbelief escaped you, and you pulled him in, kissing him softly. He made a noise of surprise but indulged, his hands falling from your face to your waist, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you close.

"I remember that day," you said honestly, looking up at him when your lips parted. "Because a few hours later you asked me to go for a ride and you pulled me off my horse and not only did we fall down the hill, but I fell in love with you."

His smile was radiant, and you didn't need to ask if he remembered. Billy pulled you back in, kissing you fervently. He loved you. You could feel it. No need to wonder anymore. His kisses felt like a promise. I will always love you.

For hours after, there was nothing else but him.

Nothing but him as he kissed you like you were disappearing.

Nothing but him as he lowered you down onto his bed and slid the sleeves of your dress down your arms.

Nothing but him as he took his time, holding you so gently it made your head spin.

Nothing but him as he dipped his head briefly between your thighs, making your back arch and your hand squeeze around his. He'd given it to you to hold because he loved you.

Nothing but him as you and him did something you'd only done once before, but this time he wasn't going to leave.

Nothing but him as you did something you'd done many times before, nestling between his arms as you fell asleep.

When the morning came you knew it was far from the last one you'd have like this, but you savored it anyways, burrowing into his chest and hiding from the world. He peppered sweet kisses over your face, asking how you'd slept, asking for five more minutes before you both had to get up. And so you gave them to him. And five more minutes. And then another five minutes.

Because you were finally his. And he was finally yours.

Next part

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Grave Discovery

Wes was so excited about having dug up some real evidence of ghosts that he forgets that police consider riding around with a corpse strapped to your bike suspicious behavior.

For the prompts: Wes Weston was proving it. Ghosts were as real as the dirt under his fingernails and the shovel he used to slice through grave earth. [from @ishouldgetatumbler], and Wes, tired and fed up with everyone not believing him, sets out on a mission. And this time, with the evidence in his hand, everyone will have no choice but to believe him. [from @ashboy-3]

Read also on AO3

[Warnings for graphic description of a corpse, police involvement, and grave robbing]

Wes Weston had bought a shovel.

It was more expensive than he would have thought, and he didn't get an allowance, but he did do odd jobs for neighbors every once in a while to fund his hobbies, racking up a respectable savings before spending it all at once on a new camera lens or basketball uniform. This time, he had spent it on a shovel.

He'd tried to borrow a shovel, but the apartment his family lived in only had a couple small potted plants, and you didn't really need a shovel for those if you didn't mind getting your hands a bit dirty. Nobody else in the building had any use for a large shovel like Wes needed either. And when he asked beyond his apartment complex, people started asking questions like 'what's a kid like you need a shovel for?' and he couldn't very well tell them he was going to dig up a grave.

So Wes had pulled together his savings, biked down to the hardware store, and bought himself a brand new shovel that cost him nearly twenty dollars after tax. Wes hadn't really been expecting it to cost more than five, but the clerk at the store assured him he wouldn't find a good, long-handled shovel cheaper anywhere else.

Wes had bought it, but checked elsewhere anyway, planning to return it if the clerk happened to be lying and he found a cheaper one. He didn't.

He grumbled in frustration anyway, as he rode home with the shovel zip-tied to the side of his bike. He'd wasted all that time riding to every hardware store and gardening supply store in Amity Park for nothing.

When he turned down onto his street, he noticed some of the neighbors looking at him funny when they saw the shovel, but he paid them no mind. Most of them already thought he was a bit of an oddball, so this probably wouldn't make their opinion of him any worse at least.

Wes locked his bike up in the apartment building's garage and headed upstairs. His father was working late, and Kyle was out skateboarding with his friends, so the apartment was empty when he went to his room to hide the shovel under his bed.

What he had to do would be an all day sort of task. Probably it would even take multiple days. He knew exactly what he was looking for, but he only had a general idea of where it was buried, or how deep. He would start tomorrow.

That night, he slept restlessly, anxious for what he planned to do the next morning, both excited and afraid.

He awoke early the next morning. Well before his family, who preferred to sleep in on weekends. He took his shovel with him down to the garage, and with it, he rode out to the edge of town.

There were miles of woods between Amity Park and Lake Eerie, but Wes didn't go very far. There was only so much distance three people carrying a hundred and twenty pounds of dead weight could have covered over the rough terrain of the woods. He wrapped his bike-lock around a tree just deep enough in to not be visible from the road, slung his brand-new shovel over his shoulder, and started walking.

There was a heavily marked up map in his pocket, but he'd memorized it by now, so there was no real need for him to consult it. Wes knew exactly where he was in relation to the road, the town limits, and Fenton Works, and that was all he needed. He'd done the math. He knew more or less where he needed to dig.

The shovel made a hollow metallic shink as it sunk into the soft forest floor.

He knew what he was doing. He knew the truth. And soon enough he would have all the evidence he needed to convince everyone else.

It shouldn't have been that deep, Wes thought. Even with three people together, it was doubtful they would have gone all the way down to six feet. In fact, he thought it was doubtful they would have gone deeper than three, but when his first hole got about four feet without finding anything, he shoved all the dirt back in and stabbed a stick upright into the ground to mark that he'd already dug there before moving on to the next spot.

Even if it took him all day, all week, all year, he would keep digging until he found what he was looking for. He was fed up with all the mockery and ridicule he faced from his peers and neighbors, and now he was determined. He was a man on a mission.

Wes Weston was going to prove it. Ghosts were as real as the dirt under his fingernails and the shovel he used to slice through grave earth.

He didn't find anything that weekend, and when he came home covered in dirt and leaves his dad made him do all the laundry. That didn't stop him from going out again next weekend.

He was so sure it was there. So sure he could find it.

On the third Saturday he spent digging holes in the woods, with calluses now forming on his hands and sweat dripping from his brow, he found it. His shovel hit something hard, and when he looked down into the hole he saw some dirty fabric that looked like it might once have been white, but was so badly stained now as to look brown.

Wes returned to his task with renewed vigor, digging wider and wider until the whole thing was visible.

For a moment he hesitated. It didn't... smell like he had been expecting it too. and though the white sheet wrapped around it was stained with mud, it didn't appear to be stained with... anything else.

Cautiously, Wes pulled back the edges of the sheet, wondering if what he'd dug up had been buried far far more recently than what he had been looking for. But no.

He had been expecting a reeking lump of rotting decay barely recognizable as the person this corpse had once been, but that was not what he found. What he found was the corpse of one Daniel Fenton, a student who still attended Wes' school, even in death, and the son of the town's local quote-unquote 'ghost hunters'. 

It was perfectly preserved, like he was only sleeping, except his skin was deathly pale, his eyes glassy and sunken, his cheeks gaunt. The body was covered in burns, as was the jumpsuit it was wearing, holes melted right through the rubber in places, and black scorch marks on the surface. But though it must've been buried there for months by this point, there was no bloating, no decay, and no smell of death. 

A cloud passed over the sun as Wes marveled at it in curiosity, and when the light dimmed, he could see that the corpse was glowing faintly.

Wes didn't know why, but he checked for a pulse. He pulled off one of the gloves, melted to the point of being nearly unrecognizable for what it was, and pressed his fingers to the corpse's wrist. 

Nothing. 

He breathed a sigh of relief.

Now all there was left to do was transport the thing back into town and show everyone. And this time, with the evidence in hands—or dragged along behind his bike, rather—they would have no choice but to believe him.

Wes wrapped the sheet back around the corpse and dragged it to where he left his bike, then took both of them to the edge of the road. He'd brought with him his skateboard and some rope. Wes almost never used his skateboard. He and Kyle had both gotten one from their aunt on their thirteenth birthday, but Wes had never gotten into skating like Kyle had.

He lifted the corpse onto the skateboard. It wasn't tall, but neither was the board very long, so it's feet still dragged on the road behind. It would have to be good enough, Wes decided as he lashed everything together and to the back of his bike.

The road was rarely busy, but on the weekend, there were a few cars carrying people out to the lake for fishing or camping or what-have-you, but Wes didn't especially notice or care. 

So single minded was he in his mission, that he didn't even think about how it would look for him to be pulling along a corpse behind his bike until he was stopped by the police.

"Uh... what's the problem, officers?" Wes asked.

"You mind showing us what you got under that sheet there?" One of the officers asked.

Wes grinned. "Absolutely officers!" he said. "What I've got here is absolute proof that ghosts are real, and you two get to be the first to see it!"

He loosened the ropes only slightly, planning to tighten them again once the officers acknowledged that he was right and brilliant and sent him on his way. Then he pulled back the edges of the dirty sheet to show the police officers the sunken face of... Danny... Fenton's... corpse....

Once Wes was literally staring in the face of what he had done, he suddenly had second thoughts about so eagerly showing his proof to law enforcement. Well... shit. It was too late now.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ," one of the officers breathed out. 

"Lay down on the floor and put you hands behind your back," the other shouted. "Down on the floor, now!"

Wes did as the officer said, mentally kicking himself for being so thoughtless in his excitement to have proof.

He was pretty sure that, technically speaking, he hadn't done anything illegal here. Digging in the woods wasn't illegal. They couldn't exactly charge him with obstruction of justice, or accessory to murder, or even a cover up, because he had been very specifically uncovering up something. It wasn't illegal to show people a dead body someone else had killed, especially not to show cops. They wanted you to do that.

Yes, this looked very very bad, but once the misunderstanding was cleared up, Wes was sure he'd be let go without any charges being filed... probably... hopefully.

"I know how this looks," Wes said, as he was handcuffed and roughly shoved into the back of the squad car. "But I want you to know that this is just a big misunderstanding. I discovered the body and was bringing it back to town to show people. Someone tried to hide it in the woods, and I found it there. I am not a murderer."

The police officers did not look convinced as one of them read him his Miranda rights and the other called for back-up to deal with the... well... the crime scene, he supposed. His bike was a crime scene now.

"Hey, am I gonna be able to get my bike back after this?"

"You have the right to remain silent," the officer reminded him. "Fuckin' sicko."

Never in his whole life had Wes dreaded a call home as much as he did this one.

Despite having definitely broken the law before, usually breaking and entering and privacy violations, he'd never actually been arrested for it. Now that he was being arrested, he technically hadn't broken the law, but it was looking increasingly less and less likely that anyone would believe him.

Luckily, he was a minor, so they weren't allowed to question him without talking to his parent or guardian first, but unfortunately that meant they had to call his dad in on his day off after he'd been working over time all week. His dad was a patient and understanding guy, but even he got grouchy when his day of rest was interrupted after a 60 hour work-week. 

"Wes..." his dad looked absolutely exhausted. He sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose. "Why did I just get a call from the police telling me to come down to the station because my son had been found in possession of an unidentified corpse?"

"I didn't kill anyone," Wes said immediately. "He was like that when I found him."

His father sighed again, more deeply this time, and blinked tiredly at him.

"Why don't you explain this whole thing to me, from the beginning?"

Wes began to recount his theory about ghosts, about Danny Fenton. He explained how he'd learned that Fenton had somehow died, and that his friends, possibly with his help, had taken his body out to the woods and buried it. Then about how Wes had bought a shovel so he could find the body and show everyone the truth, that Fenton was dead, and ghosts were real, and he was one. Finally, he told his dad about being stopped by the police and arrested when they saw what he was transporting.

"But technically speaking, I haven't done anything illegal," Wes finished. "At least... I'm like 90% sure nothing I actually did was illegal. So this is all a big misunderstanding."

When he was done, his father just stared at him silently for a very long moment. When he spoke, he said only a single word, shaking his head, looking more tired world-worn than Wes had ever seen him

"Why?"

"Because I'm right!" Wes insisted. "People need to know the truth, that there a ghosts walking among us. They could be dangerous! And even if they're not, think about what this means for humanity! This is proof of an afterlife, that our souls can stick around even after we're dead. This is world-altering information, and I had to prove it, and I have the evidence now—"

"And you're in a holding cell!" His dad pointed out, tone cold and harsh. "Wes, you know I love you no matter what, and I never discouraged you from pursuing your hobbies and theories before, but this is a step too far, kid. There is a corpse involved now, and my fifteen-year-old son had been arrested under suspicion of murder. This is serious. Do you understand how much trouble you could be in if we can't prove that you aren't responsible?"

Wes snapped his mouth shut and swallowed before shifting his eyes downward and nodding guiltily.

His dad sighed once more and scrubbed his hands over his face. Evidently he'd rushed out of the house so fast he'd barely been able to change out of his PJs and didn't even get the chance to shave, because his face was scruffy, and his clothes were rumpled, and he hadn't properly aligned the buttons on his shirt.

"I'm sorry," Wes said. "I didn't mean for you to get dragged into this."

"No, don't... don't be sorry about that," his father said. "Be sorry about digging up a corpse and transporting it through the middle of town in broad daylight. I thought you were smarter than that."

"Yeah, I got over-excited," Wes admitted.

"Is this why you've been coming home covered in dirt the past few weekends?"

"Yeah. Are you mad?"

"Oh, you are doing everyone's laundry for the next year after this little stunt, mister."

"That's fair."

It wasn't long before an officer came to take Wes and his dad to an interrogation room, where Wes was handcuffed to the table.

"Is that really necessary?" his dad asked.

"It's standard procedure for suspected murderers," replied the cop gruffly.

His dad scoffed and rolled his eyes, and the cop sneered at him.

"You should really be taking this more seriously," the cop told him darkly. "Your son was discovered transporting a dead body through town without any indication of remorse for his actions. If the coroner determines it was murder, he could be tried as an adult."

"Maybe you should consider that I know more about it than you do right now, and take my lack of concern as a sign that you're blowing this whole thing out of proportion."

Wes gawked a bit at how coolly his dad was handling this. He knew the man was taking this situation as seriously as anyone, but he was acting very convincingly like he didn't think it was a big deal, and the cop seemed to be genuinely put-off by it. Wes had to hand it to his father, he was selling it well.

A few minutes later, a detective came into the room and dropped a thin file on the table. He sat down across from the Westons, took out a pen and notepad, and opened the file to reveal crime-scene photos of Wes' bike and the makeshift corpse trailer behind it. 

In the corner of his eye, Wes noticed his dad grimace in disgust, but he kept quiet

"Let's start with who this poor stiff is," the Detective said. It wasn't a question, and it left no room for debate.

"Daniel Fenton," Wes replied. "He is a freshman at Casper High."

The detective's eyebrows shot up in surprise at how easily Wes had answered him. "Sounds like you're gonna make this go nice and smooth for me," the detective said. "In that case why don't you go ahead and confess for me."

Wes scoffed. "Weren't you listening?" he asked. "I said he is a freshman at Casper High, not was. He's still a student there. I can guarantee you he'll be in class tomorrow."

"Now how's he gonna do that when he's stuck in a drawer at the morgue?"

"The same way he's been doing it for the last several months despite being buried in the woods," Wes said. "He's a ghost. Or... ghost-adjacent maybe. He's not an ordinary human, at least. And I didn't kill him. You can call him up yourself to come identify the body. I'll even give you his number."

"That's real cute," the detective said with a sneer. "But I'll take that number."

Wes gave it to him, and he wrote it down on his notepad to check later.

"Now, if you're really gonna claim you didn't kill him, why don't you explain just how his corpse happened to end up tied up to your bike while you rode into town?"

Wes explained again, just like he had to his father, the whole story, from the first time he realized Danny Fenton wasn't quite right, to finding the body and taking it into town.

The detective nodded along, occasionally interrupting to ask for clarification, or details, but it was clear he was just trying to catch Wes in his lie and didn't actually believe a single word he was saying.

"Alright, well we're gonna send someone to verify every single part of that story of yours," the detective said. "Until we get a cause of death back from the morgue, there's not much more we can investigate, since clearly you didn't kill him on your bike in the middle of town. We're done for now, but don't think for a second that this is the end. I'll send someone back to take you back to your cell in a minute."

There was no way Wes' dad could afford bail, so Wes made himself as comfortable as possible in his holding cell. Luckily, he didn't have to share it with anyone. That didn't really mean there was any privacy, just that he wouldn't have some drunk falling all over him.

He spent most of his Sunday there, bored out of his skull, although one of the beat cops let him have her newspaper when she was done with it. Then, late in the evening, the detective that had interrogated him came to the door of his cell, his face pale as a ghost, and opened the door with trembling hands.

"You're... you're free to go," he said, his voice weak and cracking with... fear?

"What changed?" Wes asked, stepping to the door of his cell.

The detective moved out of his way with a look of terror as Wes stepped around them. The fact that Wes was a good few inches taller than him probably wasn't helping him calm down.

"The uh... the victim," he managed to get out. "He's still alive."

Wes raised an eyebrow, and that was apparently question enough before the words just tumbled out of the man in a rush.

"He came to the morgue and... and he looked just like the corpse. Same DNA, same everything. Hospital records confirmed he doesn't have any twin, no explanation he just... he just said 'that's me, don't worry about it' and... and-and then he walked out afterwards like nothing was even wrong, like nothing was... fucked about the whole thing. He said you didn't kill him—that-that-that it was an accident and... fuck. I don't know how you did it. I don't know how anyone could do something like this, but if the victim's not dead, then... then...."

He shook his head. It seemed like he was on the verge of hyperventilating.

"You're free to go," he repeated finally.

"Don't supposed there's any chance of me getting the corpse back?" Wes asked.

The look the detective gave him wasn't just horrified, or baffled... it was broken. He gave Wes the most broken look the boy had ever seen, then mutely shook his head and stumbled down the hall as if he was either very drunk, or very much wanted to be. 

"Can I get my bike back at least?!" he called after the man.

"That's... a question for impound," came the warbling reply.

Wes frowned, but did not pout as he walked out of the holding area and to the front desk to see who he had to talk to about getting his bike out of impound. He couldn't get it back right away, and had to make an appointment to reclaim it. He would also need a photo ID and proof of ownership. He wasn't sure he even had proof of ownership. He'd bought that bike at a garage sale, so it wasn't like he had a proper receipt for it.

He'd have to figure something out before next Wednesday, but for now, it looked like he was walking home.

The next day at school, Danny found him and gave him a very angry talking to about violations of privacy, and the severity of disturbing someone's grave, unmarked though it may have been.

"I'm going to show everyone the truth, Fenton," Wes told him, unafraid of the monster before him. "Maybe I lost the corpse, but I'll find new evidence. And when I do, everyone will know the truth about you. Everyone will know what you really are."

Danny scowled and threw his hands up in frustration and left Wes alone.

The was nothing in the news about Wes' arrest, or the corpse. It seemed the police had chosen not to release any information about Wes' initial arrest until they had more information—and once they got more information there was simply no plausible way to explain it to the news outlets, so instead they decided to cover it up.

Maybe Wes should have been grateful that his arrest wasn't in the news, but he was mostly just frustrated that his evidence wasn't either. He'd worked hard to find that corpse, and now it was just going to sit in a drawer in the morgue, or a pauper's grave... not rotting.

[justagalwhowrites]

Prompt 89 please

Hi Bestie!!

Thank you for this request! This was a fun one, I decided to do the DBF!Joel and Reader I did a one shot about a few weeks back. You can find that here for context but you can definitely just read this sucker all on its own.

Long Distance

You and Joel have been making long distance work but this week, things hit a bit of a snag.

Written from Prompt 89: “YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!”

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader (Same couple as DBF!Joel from Homecoming)

Warnings: SMUT! Masturbation (female), Oral (f receiving), unprotected PIV sex (wrap it up y'all!) No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ only

Length: 2.5K

If you were going to make a list of things that sucked, you knew exactly where you’d start. 

It used to be delays on the L making you late for work and the grocery store around the corner from your apartment being sold out of your favorite wine. 

Now? 

Distance. Long distance. 

Long distance really fucking sucked. 

Especially when you were stuck working with your ex and - not that it was a competition - but you’d totally won the breakup. Joel was so much hotter than your ex it wasn’t even funny. 

Well, it was kind of funny. 

It was also kind of funny how much better he was in bed, even if he had more than a decade on you - and anyone else you’d ever dated, for that matter. 

Not to mention the fact that you were fucking crazy about the guy. Even if he was your dad’s best friend and you were trying to keep the fact that you spent half of your visits home to Austin across the street at Joel’s getting absolutely destroyed a secret. 

“Your daddy’s gonna fuckin’ knock the shit out of me one of these days,” Joel muttered, still panting for breath as he lay next to you on the living room floor on your last visit. “I’ll deserve it, too, all the things I do to you…” 

“All the things I beg you to do to me you mean,” you smirked a little. 

“Fuckin’ dirty girl,” he growled. 

You glanced at him, wicked gleam in your eye. 

“Only for you,” you smirked. 

“Damn right only for me,” he said, and he was on you again. 

Normally, you made it work. You talked every day. The distance had been kind of nice for actually getting to know each other better. You hung out plenty when you visited but there was a limit to just how much you could get away with not being with your parents when visiting your parents. At least not without having an excuse - an excuse that neither you or Joel were ready to give quite yet. And when time was limited and Joel was there, his arms on display in those t-shirts that had to be tailored they fit so goddamn well and his eyes looking at you like he was starving and you were his favorite meal, talking wasn’t always on the top of the list. 

You were kind of surprised at how fast he’d become your best friend considering he lived more than 1,000 miles away. You’d become experts at the watch party function on Amazon Video, the two of you regularly watching a movie or working your way through a TV show while video chatting (frequently needing to rewind a few minutes when you got sidetracked talking) and you now had a usual way to set up your tablet at your breakfast bar so it was like the two of you were having dinner together. 

This week, however, he’d been all but MIA. He was still texting you periodically - always a good morning and good night and a check in part way through the day to see how things were going - but your usual phone dates had been ditched. 

“I’m so sorry, I’m just too slammed tonight,” Joel texted one night, only about 10 minutes before the call was supposed to start. “I have to get this project plan done.” 

“It’s pushing 9,” you texted back, trying to not sound like a total ass about it. 

“I know,” he replied. “Trust me, I ain’t happy about it either.” 

“Have fun with work,” you texted back, grinding your teeth. 

You’d checked the group chat you had with your girlfriends and saw where a few of them were going out that night. You put on a cute dress, did your hair and make-up and went to the bar. You took a selfie with one of your friends and cocktail in your hand - your tits looking particularly good in this dress -  and posted it to Instagram with the caption “Ladies nights are the best nights.” 

Joel texted you 20 minutes later. 

“Low blow, Princess.” 

You smirked and texted back. 

“Don’t know what you mean.” 

He’d canceled every other night that week, too. You got the feeling he was keeping something from you and you didn’t like it. You had a three day weekend that weekend and had mentioned maybe coming down to visit weeks ago but Joel had asked you not to. 

“Not even really worth the trip,” he said. “Don’t want you goin’ through all that trouble…” 

Your boss let you off a few hours early Thursday afternoon and you went home, a little frustrated about the fact that you didn’t have plans for the weekend. You’d been kind of hoping Joel would reach out and see if you wanted to do a movie marathon or something one day but it hadn’t come up. But you’d left the weekend wide open. Like an idiot. 

“So stupid,” you muttered, unzipping your skirt and unbuttoning your silky blouse. But when you caught sight of yourself in your full length mirror, you felt… well, like you looked damn good. Your hair and makeup were surprisingly intact after your commute home, the bra you had on was one of your favorites… 

You left your thigh high stockings on and slipped your feet back into your heels and you struck a pose in front of the mirror, your shirt open to reveal a glimpse of the black lace bra with matching panties. You snapped the photo and texted it to Joel. 

“Hope your day is going well.” 

You took off the shirt and turned around in the mirror, so you could see just how well the black lace thong highlighted the shape of your ass. You took a photo of that, too.

“I got off work early,” you typed, sending that photo along, too. 

You posed carefully, looking up at the camera almost like you would if you were on your knees in front of him to suck him off, aligning things so he had the perfect view of your cleavage. 

“Too bad I don’t have anything to do.” 

You took off the bra then and got one of your more… sizable toys from your nightstand, the one that reminded you most of Joel, and you lay down on the bed. You carefully arranged things and framed up the shot, making it so he could just see the burgundy tint of your lips, the way your necklace fell into the hollow of your throat and the toy set between your breasts. 

“Figured I’d take care of things myself since you’ve got better things to do.” 

You tossed your phone to the corner of the bed and slipped off your panties, fantasizing about everything Joel had done to you the last time you’d come to visit, fucking yourself hard but not feeling particularly satisfied when you were done. 

You sighed and cleaned the toy and put on some leggings and a tank top with a hoodie you’d stolen from Joel and realized that you’d spent the last two hours in your own head with your fingers rubbing your clit and you had no idea what to have for dinner. You retrieved your phone from where it had gotten kicked onto the floor mid-orgasm and realized you had a bunch of missed calls and texts from Joel. 

“Going better now, Princess,” the first text said. “But take it easy on me, heading into a meeting.” 

“Oh shit,” you winced. He was probably somewhere without great signal, everything was showing as sent on your end by the time he started replying. 

It only got worse from there. 

“Baby, you are sexy as hell but now ain’t the time,” the next text said. “Please listen and cool it, I have to present.” 

“What did I just say?” 

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” 

“ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE PRINCESS.” 

You checked your voicemail, putting it on speaker as you winced.

“YOU SENT ME PICTURES OF YOU NAKED WHILE I WAS IN A WORK MEETING!” 

Yeah, you had. That… that was exactly what you’d done. 

“I get that you’re pissed at me right now, Baby, but fuckin’ hell, you can’t just do that shit! Next time I see you, you’re gonna regret that.” 

You tried to call him back and apologize - or at least explain - but it went straight to voicemail. 

“Apparently not that important to you,” you muttered, tapping the phone on your hand and going to find a movie to watch, one that Joel would hate so you’d keep yourself busy and not feel like you were missing out. 

When you started feeling hungry, you went in and ordered enough Indian food on Uber Eats to last you the weekend and went to pick the next movie to watch. But it was only about 15 minutes after you’d ordered that there was a knock on your door. You frowned. 

“That was suspiciously fast,” you muttered, going for the door and not bothering to look through the peep hole. 

But it wasn’t the delivery guy standing there. 

It was Joel. 

“What!” You yelped, launching yourself at him, throwing your arms around his neck. He caught you, his arms going around your waist as you kissed all the parts of his skin you could reach. “What the hell are you doing in Chicago? I thought you were busy this weekend…” 

“Tryin’ to surprise you,” he muttered into your shoulder. “Been tryin’ to cram a week’s worth of work into four days so I could see you…” 

“Joel!” You leaned back from him and he set you back on the ground. “You should have said something!” 

“Now where’s the fun in that?” He asked as you pulled him into your apartment. He set his bag down on the couch and draped his jacket on the back of one of your bar stools. “Now, you really sittin’ up here thinkin’ I was losin’ interest? That why you sent me those photos?” 

“Maybe…” you said, sheepish. 

“How about I go fix that,” he said, tugging you tight to his body and kissing you deeply. 

You pulled him back to your bedroom, pulling at his clothes on the way. He slid the hoodie off of you and frowned. 

“This mine?” He asked. You shrugged, smiling a little. “Been lookin’ for that.” 

“I look better in it,” you replied. 

He laughed. 

“Well that’s the fuckin’ truth.” 

He pushed you back onto the bed and immediately pulled your leggings down your body, tossing them on the chair in the corner before he all but dove between your legs, spreading your thighs wide. 

“Look at this,” he ran a thumb over your wet slit. “My messy girl, takin’ matters into her own hands…” 

You whimpered. 

“Thinkin’ you might have gotten your fill earlier,” he said, brushing your clit with his thumb. “Thinkin’ this should all be for me, now. Since you sent me all those dirty pictures and I haven’t had a chance to take care of a damn thing. Been hard for you for fuckin’ hours…” 

He licked along your seam, from your grasping entrance up to your clit before thrusting his tongue inside you, the move harsh and insistent. 

“Joel!” You gasped, your hand going to his head, fingers digging into his curls. He just moaned against you, his thumb working your clit as he devoured you. 

He knew exactly how to get you off and he did everything to bring you right to the edge before pulling back again and again, your whole body tense and needy. You whimpered and keened as he unzipped his jeans, pulling his dripping length out and rubbing it while kneeling between your thighs. You squirmed, trying to find something - anything - to give you some friction. 

“Havin’ problems there, Princess?” He asked, his mouth shiny with your slick. “Wonder what that’s like, bein’ stuck lookin’ at exactly what you want and not in a position to do a damn thing about it…” 

“I’m sorry,” you moaned. “I didn’t get your texts until after all mine had sent, I swear I wasn’t trying to be THAT mean!” 

“Oh, so just a little mean?” He asked, lowering himself so his cock was brushing against your sex. “That all?” 

“Just…” you panted and rocked your hips, trying to get him to properly fuck you. “Just wanted to make you want me…” 

“Always wantin’ you,” he said, snapping his hips forward and filling you totally in one move. You gasped, your cunt starting to squeeze and pulse around him. He grunted at the feeling of it, one of his hands flying to your clit, working you through your orgasm. “Fuck, that’s right Baby, take it…” 

“Fuck, Joel,” you moaned, almost crying with the force of your orgasm. 

He started to fuck you - really fuck you - before it was over, your body immediately tightening around him again, not even a second of relief from your release. 

“Told you you were gonna regret it,” his voice was harsh, rough. He lifted your legs so your ankles were by his shoulders, running his hands over your calves and thighs, getting even deeper into you with his new angle. “Fuck you feel good, not gonna last long…” 

He drove into you hard and unrelenting, like he was trying to push himself fully into your overwrought body. One of his arms wrapped around your thighs, holding the backs of them to his stomach, while the other had reached between your legs to work your clit and you cried out at the contact, the feeling almost too much, your body almost too tight around him. 

“Gonna cum on those perfect fuckin’ tits,” he panted. “Make sure you know how much I fuckin’ want you, even when I’m not around…” 

You came around him with a pathetic cry and he fucked you through this orgasm, too, before he all but ripped himself from your body and leaned over you, jerking his cock with your slick just twice before spilling himself over your chest. He collapsed beside you, panting for breath. 

“Jesus Christ,” you said once you were able to form words again. 

“Missed you too, Baby,” he said, still a little breathless. 

You smiled a little. 

“So you’re saying that if I want you to come and fuck me senseless, all I have to do is send you nudes when you’re busy?” You asked, turning your head to look at him. He looked back, glaring at you. 

“Swear to God Princess…” he looked like a predator about to pounce and you felt the heat that you’d thought you’d exhausted gather low in your stomach again when there was a knock at your front door. 

You laughed. 

“That would be dinner,” you said. “Would you mind getting that? I’m a bit of a mess…” 

He pulled his pants on and grabbed his shirt. 

“Saved by bell,” he winked. “But I think we’re gonna need to finish this conversation later…” 

You smiled. 

“Looking forward to it.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for wanting two hours a week to spend with my now ex boyfriend?

My (24M) long distance ex boyfriend (21M) have known each other for five years but only started dating at the beginning of this year. My ex has been going through a rough patch in life. It's been months since he started feeling down, and I tried to give him the space and attention he needed during it. I was hoping the little vacation we had a few months ago would help perk him up, but it seems it only added a delay to an emotional crash.

A few weeks ago, he suddenly told me he wanted to stop using discord, our main form of communication, so that he could work on balance his life. I was asleep at the time he sent it and I spent all day agonizing and freaking out over it since it would dramatically cut the time we spent together. My love language is primarily quality time, so to hear him saying we can't even talk as much freaked me out. I bounced it off a mutual friend (20M) and asked if I should give him a few weeks to see how he does, since the mutual friend and I both believe it's a good idea for him to find balance in his life if he's struggling. The mutual friend said that it's not a bad idea to wait and see if he gets better. I agreed to it but I ended up agonizing over it with my already volatile emotional state (I had, just a week earlier, lost a childhood pet and had a fight with my father/roommate (44M)).

Over the few weeks, it only felt like my ex wanted to spend less time with me. He continued to use all social media, even discord, but rarely talked to me. I would see him playing video games when he was off of work and when I asked if he needed any with anything in them, he'd say no. On the few days he was off work, he was completely unreachable, saying he's doing stuff with family yet I could see him still using social media. I felt extremely hurt and abandoned, my mental health was only degrading further. I let him be in hopes that he'd be back.

I did my best to not push my personal emotional state on my ex, mostly sending my fears of our relationship ending to the mutual friend. As the weeks passed, it seemed that my ex was perking up a little despite the limited contact with me, and after bouncing it off my father to get a better idea of how to approach this, with many breakdowns, I decided to give it until the weekend to ask my ex if we could spend a few hours each week. I'm starting school soon so I'll be swamped with 50+ hrs of schoolwork on top of 20hrs or work. It had been a great relief when I spent similar time, in my past semesters, with my ex and was hoping to find a balance for his needs and mine for the relationship.

However, it went horrible, my ex kept bringing up multiple reasons for not spending time with me, saying family, work, apparently My Own needs in the relationship (which irked me) before saying he can't do it for his own health. I asked him how I should try to love him and he said to focus on school and work, but he asked if the limited communications was bothering me and how it's bothering me. I told him how I felt over the past few weeks, but I offered to keep staying distant if he really needs it. I was truthful that it was going to hurt me badly.

He proceeds to send a message saying how my message to him made him uncomfortable and how its unhealthy how I'm feeling and with how I treated his boundaries in the past (which I'm confused about because I always respected his boundaries and double checked on situations and actions that could have been uncomfortable for him) that we should stop talking and likely blocked me on discord and left every server we share.

So, am I the asshole in this situation? I'd give me some peace of mind to know if I really am the asshole.

What are these acronyms?

[carlos55inz]

charlos au anon here again ( because apparently my brain didn’t get through all the unhinged thoughts ) but … my thought was that basically, carlos previously worked not at one of the well-known shatterdomes, but one of the other research facilities near a smaller city, where they tested some of the more extreme or absurd ideas for jaegers and kaiju research. and it’s all fine and well, he’s very good, providing design support for other shatterdomes scattered across the globe, the elusive engineer known only really by a moniker resulting from a horrible audio connection, chili.

the thought had been that away from the shatterdomes, perhaps they wouldn’t be under constant threat of attack and could conduct their research in peace. which was true for years, and the area was not as heavily armed — until at some point, the kaiju somehow broke through & discovered their location. at that point in time, there only people around were the engineers, facility staff and a few jaegar pilots on leave for recovery purposes, among which is nico hülkenberg.

so when the kaiju attack, they have nothing to defend themselves with except a distress signal and jaegers prototypes. desperate situations breed desperate plans, tens of thousands of unwitting innocents a stone’s throw away, and so, nico, despite his poor health, volunteers to pilot one of the prototypes ( one of carlos’, at that ). and though carlos is internally terrified for his friend, he reluctantly agrees to serve as ground support because otherwise they will all end up dead before any support can come in. this part, he remembers it all with horrifying clarity, two sentences to string together a send-off, hours spent monitoring in agony, watching the jaegar he designed fall apart alongside the kaiju it fought — until the best of what he can engineer can’t hold up anymore and through the pixels, he spots the wreckage of the jaegar goes crashing into the sea alongside the mangled corpse of the kaiju. ( there’s no screaming, only people lurched back and forth by the waves as they frantically try to reach the two pilots, and the corpses of the others who didn’t make it. )

nico is the one frantically pulled in for medical treatment. and carlos is the one left pacing in front of the door while the vital signs beep on and on and the people who enter and exit get their scrubs stained with red. there’s two days of calm, and he’s praying for a miracle — until the siren sounds are deafening and they’re left with the fact help is still nowhere near and no one left knows how to drift, much less pilot. ( because if they did, they wouldn’t be here. ) they’re engineers, not pilots — build systems and run damage control, not the ones pushing them beyond their limits.

these are the things he doesn’t remember. looking at papers, calculating the odds in his mind. memories of max’s face, remembering how easy it was to pull away from a hand outstretched. drifting, the endless landscapes flying past his vision. the frantic discussions and palpable despair of his fellow engineers, their grim determination to try and fend the kaiju off because if they flee, it’ll be the people in the city dead in their place. climbing into the conn-pod in the dark, before anyone can notice. the dim glow of the lights in the distance, the glint of water over the sea. it’s almost too easy, to slip into his mind again — an endless burning, a permanent ache. ( solo-piloting is strictly forbidden these days. it’s like having a death wish, or so they say. he doesn’t know if he has a wish, though as his mind barely keeps itself together and the killing becomes mechanical, frantically trying to keep the kaiju abay even as the jaegar breaks into infinite pieces — the water is warm this time of year, he remembers, and it’s far too easy to slip into it, whispering i’m sorry, over and over until there’s nothing. )

( what they call a miracle, he’ll only remember as a long, long nightmare and apology offered up far too late. )

when carlos wakes up days later, they’ll tell him the city survived, but the research base did not, and he’ll wait until they leave the room before he lets himself fall apart again. in time, people will analyse and re-analyse what went wrong, but it won’t change the guilt, the grief that swallows him alive sometimes. they give him exactly two months to knit himself back together — until zak brown comes knocking at breakfast and carlos walks out on him before being forcibly pulled back in. ( there are timelines. people waiting. because apparently solo piloting has made him some sort of commodity. because there’s someone shiny waiting in the wings, and the mclaren unit want to snatch carlos up before anyone gets any ideas. even if he can barely sleep without hearing himself say those two sentences to nico again and again and waking up screaming or talk without shutting down or eat without throwing up, or spends all his time in the pool, diving from the platform again and again and holding his breath until someone jumps in, terrified that he’s drowned. )

zak brown slides the papers ( so old fashioned, but maybe these held a permanence their screens and holograms don’t ) across the desk, and he knows it’s not a choice. you could have anything you want, he says, like glory or fame could soften or tempt him now. carlos closes his eyes, tilts his head, and spits out six words — i want you to erase everything. ( to make a blank slate out of it all, to redact the files and erase his history, to make sure that if anyone came looking — they couldn’t find the person he was before, to know that the only thing that plays is an eternal loop of watery or burning graves and mangled metal, to know that in his sleep, all he does is fall into the water and for a moment, wish he could let go. to know that in the end, he couldn’t do anything. )

charles knows that carlos is someone who laughs often, who can smile so easily. he knows that most jaegar pilots are not so close to the engineers, content to let their work play out in the background, but his co-pilot has a strange ease around them, reads their displays and data so effortlessly that it’s almost daunting to match the pace he casually tosses questions and suggestions for improvements. charles also knows, dimly, he jokes once — in another life, carlos, you could’ve been an engineer. ( he wonders why that time, carlos looked like someone had called for him from beyond the grave. )

god idk why this is so long and why i sound insane i am so sorry

hello again charlos au anon, you are right now my favorite person. i wish i could live inside your head like a little neuron, just to watch as this thoughts and ideas are being formed. it must be insanely good in there. anyway.

“the elusive engineer known only really by a moniker resulting from a horrible audio connection, chili.” i literally went, out loud, oooh that’s good.

“until the best of what he can engineer can’t hold up anymore and through the pixels, he spots the wreckage of the jaegar goes crashing into the sea alongside the mangled corpse of the kaiju” GOD TOOK YOUR HAND AND WROTE THIS. oh my fucking god. oh my god. i’m at the edge of my seat staring at this with nothing but awe. and a need to keep going.

“remembering how easy it was to pull away from a hand outstretched.” OH BOY. OH MAN. i need a minute, excuse me.

slipping into the hero part, and that’s what they will call, a miracle. a hero. it won’t be spoken about, everything carlos had to offer to be able to make it there, everything that was drained from him, how his mind will never be the same again. forever stained. they won’t talk about that.

(charles who was begging to solo pilot just because he wants, no, he needs to be out there. and carlos can’t help but hate him a little for it. just a little because no matter how many reasons he finds to, he never seems to be able to really hate charles. there’s something there. he won’t think about it. but the naiveness, the need to be out there, to be seen as a savior, the people need someone to look up to he knows that, but he doesn’t like how easily charles gives up everything else to fit into that role. how easy he makes it looks.)

(it’s not easy. charles is just very good at pretending and very determined to give back what was entrusted to him. but carlos doesn’t know that. not now anyway. maybe later when they both open their doors and he sees that charles isn’t his machine, he isn’t the saint, he is just a man.)

“even if he can barely sleep without hearing himself say those two sentences to nico again and again and waking up screaming or talk without shutting down or eat without throwing up, or spends all his time in the pool, diving from the platform again and again and holding his breath until someone jumps in, terrified that he’s drowned.” i was talking about, even made a post about it, how i wish more people would explore the aspect of grief from carlos side of the deal. charles has it too, no one can deny it, but carlos. oh carlos. and i don’t see it getting explored a lot, at least not in the works i have read. and you did it. you did it so beautifully. you encapsulated grief in its core. to have these deep terrible lingering fears about ourselves and the people we love. yet we walk around, talk to people, eat and drink. we manage to function. the feelings are deep and real. shouldn’t they paralyze us? how is it no one sees how deeply afraid we were, last night, this morning? is it something we all hide from each other, by mutual consent? or do we share the same secret without knowing it? wear the same disguise.

“zak brown slides the papers ( so old fashioned, but maybe these held a permanence their screens and holograms don’t ) across the desk, and he knows it’s not a choice.” the theatrics of a choice without really offering one. yeah. you are making me feel real emotions here. my chest is hurting right now. “tilts his head, and spits out six words — i want you to erase everything.” charlos au anon, please take me to the back and shoot me in the head and leave me to bleed out. it will hurt less, i’m sure of that.

“( to make a blank slate out of it all, to redact the files and erase his history, to make sure that if anyone came looking — they couldn’t find the person he was before, to know that the only thing that plays is an eternal loop of watery or burning graves and mangled metal, to know that in his sleep, all he does is fall into the water and for a moment, wish he could let go. to know that in the end, he couldn’t do anything. )” this is singlehanded one of the most beautiful things i have ever read. i’m staring at my phone and i don’t even know what to say. i don’t even know how to go on from this.

it reminded me slightly of something i read here on tumblr (credit to pencap): “i left home a child and came back to trumpeting heralds and parades in my name and historybooks with my face on the front cover–– a hero. i left home a child and came back a hero but no one seems to see that a hero is a warrior and a warrior must first be born of war. and i see too many children chasing after my footprints with joy wearing armour like blankets and helmets like crowns laughing with eyes bright as the faraway glint of sniper scopes. and i do not want to leave a legacy of bloodstains and bruised knuckles and teeth clenched around burning bullets. and i do not want anyone else to leave home a child and come back a hero tasting blood on every passing wind and regret on every shaking breath. but i left home a child and came back a hero and only a hero–– ––not the historian who writes the legends or the god who writes the stars and i do not have it in me to stop the next warrior who leaves home a child and comes back a hero.”

carlos sainz who took a whim decision to stop the thing that would destroy many innocent lives that never signed up for this. he didn’t either, but he kind of did, it was kind of a risk he took when he become a engineer, he argues. and whatever of carlos that survived that encounter with the kind of terror no one should be made to comprehend, is kept being made to face evil again. and again. and they keep get younger, the people they put into jaegar and send out there to fight for their lives. for other’s lives. to have this burden to carry. and by the time you’ve lost your mind to cramped metals wall of a jaegar and to the hell of the open waters infected with kaijus of all kind, that wont matter much. they might send you home. but someone else will go to that hell for the rest of their life. and another pilot will take your place. so it might as well be you, at least for a while. if it’s you out there, then it isn’t nico. then it isn’t daniil. and someday he will be able to step aside and be forgotten. he won’t be able to sleep at night, or to eat his friends favorite food without thinking of them with remorse, but he will be far away from anything that envolves This. and that’s what matter. but for now, he does it.

(this gives depth to lando, very young and very eager, and carlos, who knows how this will chew you up and spit you out without second thoughts. another heaviness to carry on his shoulder, to be a mentor of sorts.)

AND CARLOS SMILES AND JOKES AND THE FEAR AND GRIEF SHOULD PARALYZE HIM BUT IT DOESNT. HE MAKES PEOPLE LAUGH. HE IS ALWAYS MAKING IT ABOUT OTHERS, EVERYTHING, PEOPLE GO TO HIM WHEN THEY HAVE PROBLEMS BECAUSE CARLOS LISTENS. and they don’t know how heavy it is for him. and he doesn’t want to let them know.

(and damn when he gets hit by the determination force that is charles leclerc. charles will have NONE of that, charles wants to see him as he is.)

“jokes once — in another life, carlos, you could’ve been an engineer. (he wonders why that time, carlos looked like someone had called for him from beyond the grave.)”

give me an hour or two to sit down. i need to sit down and stare at the blank wall of my room and just. think. this is beautiful, this is a work of art, you don’t sound insane at all. i feel like i woke up in the middle of the night and you are in my room, like an angel sent from god, and said be not afraid i come to offer the most heartbreaking, complex, intriguing, grief loaded, amazing, spectacular, unique, beautiful, gut wrenching, piece of work in the form of a charlos pacif rim au. you literally did that. you typed the most beautiful thing in the form of a tumblr ask, and i’m so glad i was the one you chose to deliver this to.

please, know that my inbox my messages anything is always open for you and your ideas. i will devour them. this is amazing. i wont stop talking about this for WEEKS.

[vampiricmycelium]

Day #4 of @redscapeweek || Sharing Clothes || T

-

Scar was trying not to stare, but he was failing. Badly. He had been spending time with Mumbo today, and he might have accidentally pushed Mumbo into a river. It really was an accident! He didn't have the best balance, and Mumbo was right next to it. So he couldn't be held responsible for it.

Mumbo had let out a cry before there was the sound of a splash and there he was. On all fours in the middle of the river. Luckily, it wasn't that deep, so there was no risk of Mumbo drowning. Scar did help him back out of it, but he had spent maybe a couple of minutes just staring at Mumbo's ass. It was right there! If Mumbo had noticed his gaze, he didn't say anything, too focus on his state. He was looking down at his soaked through suit, his mustache looking sad as it drooped.

"Scar, why?" It was almost funny, but Scar managed to find some restraint. He covered his mouth so Mumbo didn't see him smiling.

"I didn't mean to. I promise."

"Hm." He didn't seem to believe him. Scar made an offended face, gasping as if he couldn't believe it. Mumbo sighed, but there was a small smile creeping onto his face. "Fine. But you're going to have to loan me some dry clothes."

"What? Why?"

"Your place is closer."

Scar looked over at their two bases in the distance. He wasn't entirely sure if that was correct, but he also wasn't sure if it was wrong. He was willing to give Mumbo the benefit of the doubt. This was kind of his fault and he wanted to do something for his friend. They took off together into the sky, landing down in Scarland. Scar gestured for Mumbo to follow him into a building.

Once inside a room in a corner of the park, Scar started digging through some chests. He glanced back at Mumbo, eyes going wide as he seemed to be undressing. He had his jacket off and his tie as well. The white dress shirt was soaked enough that it left little to the imagination. Scar cleared his throat, grabbing some random clothes of his and pushed them at Mumbo.

"You can change over there." He gestured to a side room. Mumbo nodded and headed over there. It might have been Scar's imagination, but he seemed to be a little red in the face. Scar watched him for just a moment.

There was something wrong with him. He couldn't stop staring at Mumbo and thinking, well, non-friend type thoughts. He could almost feel himself thinking of Mumbo stripping out of his clothes and changing into the ones he was offered. Luckily, Scar managed to stop blushing before Mumbo returned.

Or, well, he thought he had. But the sight before him was just too distracting and, well, hot.

Mumbo stood there in a collage of Scar's clothes. He was wearing a HotGuy's shirt underneath one of Scar's brown leather jackets. His pants seemed to be the acid-washed jeans from his Limited Life skin. He wore just plain black socks, the only thing that didn't stick out as something of Scar's. It was a mismatch, but Mumbo seemed to pull it off. He was nervously pulling at the jacket and frowning.

"I think I should worry about you stealing my title of HotGuy." Mumbo's face turned bright red, nearly sputtering a response of how that was not possible at all. Scar grinned, enjoying seeing him flustered. "No, I mean it. I wasn't sure if you'd fit into my clothes, but the way the shirt hangs on you loosely. It's attractive."

"Scar."

Scar drew closer. "And those jeans? I bet if the shirt wasn't so long, I could see your hips. How scandalous."

"Scar?"

"I think you should keep them. I am sure I'm not alone. You don't think you're hot?"

Mumbo fidgeted with the ends of the shirt and then turned his face away, still the bright red from before. Maybe he should push Mumbo into a river more often.

"I'm not as hot as you. I mean I haven't seen you in one of my suits, so maybe if I did you. I don't know what I'm saying."

"Should I try one of them on? We could dress like each other today!"

"I'm not sure if they'd fit. Your, um, muscles might be too much."

"Well," Scar replied, finally in front of his friend, smiling up at him. This was not how he expected this to go, but he was willing to see what happened. He grabbed Mumbo by the jacket, pulling him closer. "There's only one way to find out."

[cauliflowertree]

for a blurb u should do first date w jess mariano

:)

love me sweet—jess mariano.

summary: your first date with jess mariano.

word count: 0.6k

fanfic no. 009

the sun was beginning to set below the horizon as you walked through the quaint town of stars hollow, nervously fixing your hair and pulling down your jacket every few seconds. you stretched your neck out to see if jess had arrived yet, but could see nothing but faint shadows around the back of the poorly lit gazebo. but jess mariano watched you from a short distance, cowering where the light couldn’t touch, smiling softly, and wondering why you might be nervous to see him. he was nothing. you were everything.

he shook his head in disbelief as a small chuckle escaped his lips, slipping a book into his back pocket and pushing himself off the gazebo and into the light.

“hey there,” he greeted.

“hey,” you grinned, eyes brightening.

jess’ eyes raked over your figure, taking in the clothes you’d spent a long while choosing above all others. he didn’t say much, he never did, just a simple ‘you look good’ under his breath before he headed off. it was both endearing and satisfying.

“where are we going?” you asked, feet still planted into the damp grass below as you watched him march forward.

“you’ll see. come on, don’t you trust me?” he tilted his head with a mischievous smirk.

you hardly knew him, truth be told, but there was an inexplicable sense of safety you felt in his presence—an inclination you possessed that he would never lead you astray. but despite this, there was still a small part of you that felt as if you were free-falling with no access to a safe landing. but you were generally a good judge of character.

“i haven’t decided yet,” you hesitated. “trust is earned.”

“how am i supposed to earn it if you don’t take a leap of faith and trust me a little?” he cocked an eyebrow.

you suppressed a smile. “alright.”

as it so happens, jess had no plans at all as to where he was going to take you. he walked you through town, to the small bridge over the lake, past luke’s diner and then finally into the bookshop which was always open late of fridays. he simply valued your company and conversation.

neither of you bought anything, only browsed the shelves of limited titles the small store offered and pointed out which books you had read, which you desired to read, your favourites and the ones you hated beyond anything. jess laughed at your distaste for ‘the great gatsby’, how your face scrunched up in disgust.

on the way home, for jess insisted to walk you back, you exchanged book recommendations, music suggestions and talked of the films you should watch together in the little theatre in town. and when you reached the door to your house, jess tucked his chin into his chest as he looked down at your hands, cautiously reaching out to touch them.

“i had a nice time tonight,” you told him, wrapping your fingers around his.

“me too,” he nodded, still keeping his eyes away from yours.

you didn’t want to go inside, and jess didn’t want you to either, but you were both too anxious to make the first move. but after a moment, jess could feel the warmth leaving your fingertips, and he knew you couldn’t stay out there forever. he slipped his hands delicately up your arm until he reached your neck, which he caressed gently.

in spite of his feather light touches, the sting of his cool hands nipped at the warmth of your skin, but you hadn’t the heart to care. your heart was preoccupied, perhaps indefinitely.

his lips reached yours tentatively, sweetly, flowing into open-mouthed kisses after a few seconds to find your shared rhythm. he was perfection.

[gunilslaugh]

Hiii!! I absolutely love all of your fics. I was so happy to find someone who writes for Xdinary!

I was wondering if I could request Jungsu fluff of him visiting his long distance s/o for the first time in a while? Just something very fluffy with some comfort would just be 😚🤌 amazing!

The emojis made me think of Mark Lee's "You gotta seize the opportunity🤌" lol Anyway here's your request!

Kim Jungsu

Summary: Meeting your long distance boyfriend,Jungsu, after a long time apart.

WC:~1.1k

Warning:grammar

photo not mine credits to owner.

Being in a long distance relationship of course has its drawbacks. The number one being distance. Thousands upon thousands of miles keeping you away from the hold of your lover. You and Jungsu handled it well though. Usually finding or making time to see each other a few times a year.

It had been about 8 months since you and Jungsu were last able to be with each other in person. Either both of your schedules were very busy and booked up or they just simply didn’t line up. At last the two of you were finally able to find a free week for you guys to spend together. Jungsu was flying in tomorrow and you couldn’t be more thrilled about it. Your phone screen lighting up with Jungsu’s contact only added to your excitement, as you quickly swiped to answer it. 

“Hello,” you happily greeted.

“There’s my pretty,” he said when your face filled his screen. No matter how many times he calls you pretty it still makes your heart flutter. You took a quick glance at the time and realized that it was quite late in Korea.

“You know I always love your calls, but it’s late for you and you have a flight to catch in a few hours. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” you question him.

“I tried, but I’m too excited about seeing you, so I couldn’t sleep. Plus I can sleep on the plane,” he explained. 

“I’m really excited too.” you say. 

You spent the next while talking to each other. Sorting out some things that you wanted to do together when he was here and whatever side conversations took place in between. At the end of the call you did convince him to try and get some sleep. He was a bit pouty about it though, insisting that he would rather keep talking to you. You wished him a goodnight before hanging up the call.

Nerves rustling with excitement were at an all time high as you waited for Jungsu outside of the gate, inside the airport. People began to pour out from the gate and your eyes fervently scanned for your boyfriend. Once you spotted him you called out his name.

“Jungsu!” Waving your arms to make it easier for him to see you. Once your eyes met he immediately made a beeline for you. The second you were in arms reach he pulled you into a hug, dropping his carry on by your feet. Pulling him closer as you wrapped your arms around his torso. He pressed his head against your and left a feather light kiss in your hair. 

“I missed you so much,” he declared, trying to pull you impossibly closer.

“I missed you too,” you reciprocate. Reluctantly the two of you pull apart as you go to pick up his luggage.

Just as you shut the door to your apartment, after getting back from the airport, Jungsu instantaneously had you back wrapped in his arms. 

“As much as I enjoy this. I think the couch would be more suitable than the doorway,” your voice slightly strained from how tightly he was holding you.

“Right, sorry,” he says. Jungsu still didn’t let go though, instead he waddled the two of you over to the couch, pulling you down onto it with him. There you both stayed cozied up.

“Don’t you wanna eat something?” you broke the silence and embrace as you pulled away just enough to lift your head to see Jungsu’s face.

“Later, I have to make up for lost cuddles,” he speaks, gently bringing your head back down to his chest. You let out a light laugh at his words, but you felt the same. The distance really did limit the amount of skinship you guys could have. That’s why in moments like these when that distance was closed the pair of you could only make the most of it.

After a while you ordered some food to eat and ate it while watching a movie in the living room. While cleaning up the trash from dinner, Jungsu managed to sneak away for a moment. When he returned he was holding a ring box in his hand, hiding it behind his back.

“Y/n,” he called you just after you threw away the last of the trash.

“Yeah,” you casually responded. 

“I got a present for you,” you said with his finger nervously fiddling with the box.

“Aww you didn’t have to,” you say as you walk over to where he was standing just outside of the kitchen. He pulled out the box from behind his back and noticed how you looked at the box speedily clarifying.

“I’m not proposing. I just wanted to get us promise rings,” he opened up the box revealing two silver rings with half a heart engraved on each ring. 

“Jungsu you’re too good for me,” you told him as you admired the rings with some tears tempting to prick your eyes.

“And you’re perfect for me,” he replies to your statement. Now carefully grabbing your ring from the box and you hold your hand out for him.

“One day there will be no distance in our relationship. Just us, you and me together,” he declares before he slides the ring onto your finger. You briefly stare at the ring adorning your finger before taking Jungsu’s ring from the box. Grabbing his hand with your other one.

“You and me together,” you repeat his last words, sliding the ring onto his finger. “Let’s take a picture,” you say gleefully. Jungsu smiles at your cuteness. You pull out your phone and open the camera. The first picture to take is of you and Jungsu holding up your ringed hands as you rest your heads against each other. The second photo is just of your guys hands, making a heart with your thumbs and pointer fingers. 

After the mini photo session you got ready for bed. Once more you and Jungsu were cuddled up. You rested your head on his shoulder and grabbed the hand with your promise ring in his and rested them together on his chest. His thumb kept playing with your ring. Just before you closed your eyes to sleep you said.

“I love you,” nuzzling your head against his shoulder.

“I love you too,” he spoke before pulling your hand up to his lips, leaving a gentle kiss on your fingers.

Yes, the distance can suck, but you and Jungsu promised to close it. Someday it will be just you and him together.

[norris-lando]

i'd forget all the ways that we're broken

George Russell x reader

inspired by the songs Brush Fire and Stay by Gracie Abrams

warnings: angst, breakup, maybe some typos

author's note: Okayyyyy, so the ending feels a little weird... But maybe I could do a part two?? Idk. Let me know your thoughts and I hope you enjoy! :)

word count: 2.9k

started as a simple lie, thinking love had chose us

we would talk into the night and nobody noticed

and i held on to every word, couldn't let you go and called it hope

now i'm so low, i can't ignore, we only ever made it worse

Tears streaming down your cheeks, you sat on the couch next to George. Your eyes shifted to the door where two suitcases filled with your belongings stood up waiting for someone to collect them.

The air was thick and filled with melancholy. Questions lingered around, directed at no one, never expecting any answers to them.

"So, this is it, huh?" George took your hand in his, his thumb moving back and forth on your skin. "You're just gonna walk away?" He was hurting and you could hear it in his voice.

You couldn't blame him, though, you hoped that he knew you were hurting, too. Probably as much, if not more than him. It wasn't like this was something you wanted to happen. You loved George more than words could describe. But your breakup had become inevitable. There was nothing either of you could have done, that was something you were certain of.

You knew full well what you were getting yourself into when you and George started dating. You knew he would have to travel a lot. You knew the time you would get to spent together would sometimes be very limited. With you still studying, you couldn't exactly up and leave every weekend to travel to the other side of the world to go see your boyfriend.

But you thought you could handle it. You were sure that love would overcome any trouble life might throw your way. You really did think that the whole long-distance relationship thing wouldn't come between you and George.

At some point, something just changed. Traveling became tough. The long plane rides back and forth, the continuous hotel nights, it all just became too much. The idea of seeing each other was always something the both of you were looking forward to. But the lengths you had go through to be able to spend time together became a burden. An obstacle that kept growing bigger and bigger, and harder to get past each time.

Sighing, you wiped the tears from your cheeks.

and all along you're promise is that you're changing

boy, you know what to say

before i turn away

your words hit me like a hard rain in l.a.

George had made a lot of promises in the hopes of keeping you. He didn't want to let you go. And to him, the traveling wasn't such a big deal. He had grown accustomed to it already anyway, all thanks to his line of work.

"We can call and text and face-time," George told you one night after you had brought up the idea of taking some time apart for the first time. It had come as a shock to him, leaving him hopeless as he tried to come up with every possible thing he could do to make your relationship easier for you.

Suddenly he was also promising to be the one who flew back to you. "I don't mind flying," he said, "that way you can always stay home. Focus on school and tests and everything else."

You were drowning and George threw you a lifeline.

And for a while the promises, his words, they worked. You believed him, or at least you wanted to. He kept telling how this was only temporary. That soon enough you would graduate and your school and workload that came with it, would be a distant memory. A speed bump in your relationship.

But what had once worked and had once seemed like a plausible option, soon became unbearable. It was like the waves around you were growing stronger and stronger and it became harder and harder to cling to the salvation George had sent your way.

scared to turn and look behind

thinking i'd see you hurting

and even when i close my eyes

i feel like the burden

It became harder each time to face George. You felt sorry for him. He was busy with his schedule during race weekends and seeing him come home to you, all tired and exhausted wasn't fun for either of you. The guilt of having to put him through all that made you question if there was anything left to fight for.

Whenever George came home to you, weary and worn-out, you often made excuses for as why you couldn't spend much time with him in your shared home. Sometimes it was a test you had to study for, other times a group project you had to work on with your friends. Whatever the excuse, it was always another desperate attempt to not see the man you loved in pain and hurting.

This led you to feel like a burden. You couldn't bare to see him hurt but you couldn't bare the thought of losing him. Nothing you did seemed right in your mind. Everything was always wrong. Whether you were with him or away from him.

You racked your brain trying to come up with an answer as to what to do. You couldn't be with him but you couldn't be without him. It was an impossible situation, for the both of you.

but i'm not yours anymore

everything you broke is ash and smoke

now i'm so low, i can't ignore, we only ever made it worse

"We can't- I can't keep doing this anymore, George." You avoided his gaze and kept your eyes trained on your hands that sat on your lap. The tears kept coming and they were stinging.

You wished so much you wouldn't have to feel this way. A part of you wanting to put the blame on George, or someone, just anyone else but yourself. Cause in that moment, as you were trying your hardest to walk away, all you could do was blame yourself.

The guilt you felt from second-hand forcing George to travel back and forth between your home and wherever his job took him came back like a tidal wave.

Suddenly you were back in that freezing cold ocean, trying to cling to any last bit of hope. But it was getting so, so cold and you started feel so tired. The thought of letting go felt so inviting. Like a warm towel wrapped around you as you sat on the shore, safe and sound.

You got up from your seat, your knees almost buckling under your heavy weight of emotions. Trembling, you made your way to your suitcases by the door.

George followed you. He took your hand in his, forcing you to turn to face him. The two of you stood silent for a moment, facing each other before George pulled you in for a warm embrace. He was once your lifeline but now he was just a lighthouse, guiding you in the storm, giving you directions to avoid the rocky coasts.

"I will always love you, I hope you know that," he whispered to you but it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself of that.

You didn't need to say anything to him. You knew that deep down George knew this was for the best. That no matter how much you wanted, you just weren't compatible. You were two pieces from different puzzles - the kind that you think will fit only to realise they were the exact opposites.

And in what felt like the blink of an eye, you were out the door. George had to face the reality as you slipped from his grasp and he was left alone in a home that now felt so empty.

2 years later

"Come on, y/n," your friend had pleaded when she told you she had gotten two tickets to Silverstone GP. "It'll be fun! Besides, it's been like... forever since you and George broke up. It's fine for you to go to a race. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

You flinched at her words. George hadn't crossed your mind in so long but still the thought of even catching a glimpse of him made your skin shiver.

You hated to admit it to anyone but it had taken a ridiculously long time for you to get over him. And though your friend was probably right about George being okay with you being at the race, you weren't sure if you were. It felt like an invasion to go, to risk running into him by some God-given miracle.

You took a moment to contemplate, to go over every pro and con before you finally agreed. "Yes!" Y/f/n was jumping up and down, hugging you. It had been so long since you had spent time together doing something you both enjoyed, so it was nice to finally focus on your friends for a change.

-

At some point, as the days grew closer to the GP, you couldn't help but feel nervous but excited at the same time. You told yourself that no matter what, this would be a fun little trip. A great way to relax after all the intense studying and cramming you had done while still studying.

you told me something when i left but i don't remember

maybe cause all i could do then was stare at the floor

The day was finally here. The two of you making your way around the area, taking it all in. It felt so surreal to think that there was a time when all this wasn't just a distant memory for you, making it so much more emotional to be here now.

You thought back to the time when you weren't just another fan coming to a race. You thought about all the drivers, how they had become your friends when you were dating George. How you had all fallen out of touch just as quickly as you had first become acquainted. Flashes of memories made your head spin.

Something, or more like someone, pulled you out of your train of thought. A familiar voice was calling out to you.

"Y/n?" You saw Lando make his way through the sea of people.

You scanned around you, looking for your friend but she was out of earshot. She had wondered off on her own just a few moments before and you were cursing her in your mind. Why did she always have to disappear just when you needed her to save you from an awkward situation?

Lando was in front of you now, extending his arms out to give you a hug. He managed to pull you in just before you could dodge. "What are you doing here? I haven't seen you in so long. I missed you. Does George know you're here?"

The swarm of questions took you by surprised. You and Lando held onto each other for a moment before you pulled away, giving him an apologizing look.

"Uh," you started as you tried to find answers to his questions. "I missed you, too," you finally managed to say. It was true. You had missed him. And feeling Lando embrace you in a warm hug brought back all the good memories — including the ones about George.

"Oh, there you are! Where did you—" Y/f/n was cut off when she saw Lando give her a small wave. "I didn't realise you were in the middle of something. I'll let you two catch up." She was pointing a finger at you as she said, "you come find me when you're done." With that, she dissappeared again.

You and Lando chuckled as you watched y/f/n walk away from you, leaving you to catch up with everything that had happened.

It was nice to talk to Lando. During the time you two had known each other, he had quickly become like a brother you had never had growing up. So even with all the time that had passed, it felt like you two had always stayed in touch.

"Look, I should get going," Lando said suddenly. You gave him a nod. "But if you want, I know there's someone who misses you. I can tell George you're here."

You thought it over. Not sure if it was a good idea. But hearing Lando tell you that George missed you... It made you want to at least give it a shot — see him, talk to him.

"Yeah, I think I'd like that." There was a shy smile on your lips and your stomach was filled with butterflies. What had you just agreed to, you wondered.

Lando smiled back at you and gave you a small wave before he turned around and went on his way.

i held myself cause you wouldn't all wrapped in my sweatshirt

wondering if you even noticed that that one was yours

Time seemed to move slower as you waited for the race to be over. As you waited for George. Lando had texted him, telling him you were here, which in turn led George to text you and ask you to meet him.

So, here you were, questioning every choice you had ever made in your life. Wondering how those choices had led you straight to here. It felt weird. After all this time, after the emotional roller coaster you put yourself through when you walked out on George.

-

The air was getting chilly as the day had started to slowly turn to night. You had wrapped an old sweater around your body, almost as if holding yourself in it like secure blanket. But there was an empty feeling hanging in the air. The sweater giving off a whiff of a familiar smell.

George.

As your brain registered the smell, he appeared in your line of sight almost simultaneously.

A part of you wanted to run to him, wrap your arms around him and hold him without ever letting go. But you stopped yourself and chose to only embrace him in your mind.

He was standing in front of you. The two of you looking at each other without saying a word. Scared of what might come of it. What if you say something wrong? What was even the right thing to say? I miss you? I love you?

"Hi," you whispered.

He said hey back and a small chuckle escaped his lips. "You still have my old sweater."

It was said in a matter of fact kind of way. It didn't hold any deeper meaning or yearning for something more. Something about George's words made you feel like this was a bad idea.

"Yeah, I-"

He cut you off, "you always looked better in it than I did." His sentence held more emotion this time.

The two of you talked. At first it was just small talk back and forth, topics varying between family, your studies, his job. It felt nice to talk to him about every day things. Something about it making everything feel so normal - like you had never really broken up.

could you hold me without any talking

we could try to go back to where we started

i don't even have to stay but if i woke up with you in the morning

i'd forget all the ways that we're broken

A silence fell between you. The air started to feel thick with anticipation before you finally worked up the courage to say what you had wanted to say since you first saw him.

"Look, I'm really sorry," you sighed, "about everything. I never meant to hurt you."

Your words felt empty. Like the meaning behind them got lost somewhere in the wind. It felt stupid to apologize but what else were you supposed to do.

Something came over you. You forgot all the bad things and all the reasons that made you think it was a good idea to breakup in the first place.

You found yourself clinging to George. You held onto him for dear life and you didn't ever want to let go. It didn't matter that it took him a few moments to react to your hug. It didn't matter that a few years ago, the last time you held each other, your relationship ended in burning flames. In that moment, you two were whole again.

catch myself thinking about you more than i should

and maybe i should've but i never told you i miss you

i almost said it but don't know if you feel the same

"I've been thinking about you so much. And when Lando told me you were here, I just knew I had to see you," George confessed. His face was buried in your shoulders so the words came out muffled but you could hear everything he said.

"I wanted to call you so many times. To tell you I love you and that I miss you but... I was afraid you didn't feel the same way. I didn't wanna bother you, in case you had moved on."

You listened carefully everything that George said. You wished he would have told you these things before but you also knew deep down that you two needed time apart.

The two of you held onto each other, neither of you saying a word. It wasn't needed in that moment. You knew how you felt about each other and nothing could ever come between you two anymore.

Surely, your time spent apart would always be a part of your past but that's all it would be. You had, by some God-given miracle, found a way to each other again. And this time, neither of you would let go.

This time, you would learn and grow stronger together until you would forget the things that once broke you.

[skylarmoon71]

Leonardo- Oneshot(TMNT 2014/2016)- Extra

Having the abilities you possessed did guarantee that a fall from at least 20 feet wouldn’t kill you. But it sure as hell would hurt.

“AHHHHHHHH!”

Instead of falling into the concrete, you were caught in a pair of sturdy and surprisingly tender hands. Leo looks down, still holding your bridal style.

“Are you okay?”

You blinked, nodding a bit dazed as those beautiful blue eyes stared back at you with worry.

“I’m fine…”

He visibly relaxed.

“Could ya guys stop flirting!!! This place is about to collapse!!”

Raph yelled moving past you. The creaking of the structure above confirmed his words.

“Y-You can put me down, I’m okay.” He smiles.

“I like holding you.” Leo took off in a sprint with you in his arms.

As a person who’d spent the majority of your life trying to be recognized, you were pretty independent yourself. Watching movies where the female was constantly being saved was romantic and all. But you sort of wanted a mix. So asking for help was never your biggest strength.

But right now, as Leo basically carried you like a princess out of the crumbling building, you felt like you sort of understood the appeal to an extent. Yes, being a strong heroine was magnificent in your eyes. But every once in a while, it was nice to be saved by the cliche hero.

~

“Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me, Don’t cha!!”

During the night, practicing in the dojo was always a good way to go. Your patrol had ended, and the boys had all pretty much turned in for the night. So you were free to do whatever. With earphones plugged in, you got to work. Doing a workout that Leo often carried out with his brothers. Maybe if you hadn’t been so into the music you would have noticed Leo come in. You’d only realize when you made a little twirl to move over to the punching bag. You jumped slightly, and Leo just offered a smile. You removed your earphones, cheeks flushed.

“H-How long have you been standing there?”

“A while.”

His hands were folded, and you really hoped the earth would just swallow you up, if nothing but to save you from embarrassment.

Leo walked over, and you refused to truly look at him.

“Have you been here since we got back?” You nod.

“I’m sorry, I know I should rest it’s just-”

“You feel like you’re not working as much as you can.” You’re a bit surprised. He’d nailed it.

“Yeah.”

Before he was always concerned that you were always pushing yourself trying to prove that you were stronger than everyone. He’d always tried to restrict you because he was worried. But he’d completely forgotten that it could have actually been your power growing. Expanding in a way even he didn’t truly understand.

“(Y/N), when we bench together, does it ever get exhausting?”

You weren’t sure where he was going with this, but you answered regardless.

“Truthfully..I don’t.” You looked at your hand.

“It’s weird. It’s like I’m limiting myself.”

“That’s what I thought.” He concludes.

Leo realizes that he’s partly to blame. Your body responded to pressure really well. Since naturally your body adapts to loads after a portion of time, your body was enhanced possibly ten times as much. It’s possible that your strength was beyond what he could even fully understand.

“Starting tomorrow let’s increase your load. I think I’ve had it wrong all this time. Maybe your little powerlifting competitions with Raph helped you. You might be capable of much more.” Your eyes lit up.

“A-Are you serious!!?”

He nods.

“I should have from the-”

You jumped, wrapping your hands around his neck as you hugged him. Leo jested back just a little, holding you at the sudden movement.

“Thank you Leo!”

You were beaming, and he couldn’t help but smile.

When you pulled back, he kept his hand placed lightly on your hips. The lack of distance between the both of you seems to catch up. Your excitement changes to bashfulness. He never realized just how adorable you look when you got shy. It was such a rare sight. One that seemed to become increasingly regular whenever you looked his way. He was the reason for those looks.

A thought that made him filled with warmth.

You look a bit hesitant now. Leo notices the way your eyes move from his lips, back to his gaze. Your hands slide from around his neck, down to his shoulder, and when you begin to lean in a bit cautiously, he enjoys the way you nervously nibble on your lower lip. Leo closes the distance hurriedly, and you let out a soft squeak in surprise. His hand ran over your back, and you leaned into him, holding on.

~~~

“He’s actually kind of cute.”

You were sitting in his room after a workout. Leo didn’t seem to mind you just sitting around as you worked on some assignments as he tended to his tree. Your book was laying on your lap, but you could hardly focus with him moving around every once in a while looking so freaking cute.

“Get a grip.”

You forced yourself to refocus on your work. This was ridiculous. When did you become a love struck puppy? Clenching your pencil, you did your best to try not to show how much you were swooning over the blue band leader.

“Is something wrong?”

You look up at Leo, and there’s that look again. Of subtle worry. A part of you wonders how long he’s been sending you those looks and you’ve never noticed. You rub your arm, looking to the side.

“Leo..how long have you..had feelings for me?”

He doesn’t see this coming at all. You shift on your feet, thankful that you’re in the confines of his room. Because had you been anywhere else, this would be difficult for you to address.

“I know it’s sudden. I just can’t stop thinking about it.”

“About you.”

“Have you just become aware of me?” His little smile makes your face flare up.

“D-Don’t go getting cocky!! Y-You’re still a stick in the mud!!” You retaliate.

There’s that temper again.

“Maybe it was when we first met.” He folds his arms, smiling at the memory.

“When we saw you push that dumpster ten feet across the street like it was nothing, you immediately tried to pick a fight because you thought we were muggers too. Even after you saw us, you stood your ground. I could see that you were scared, terrified, but you decided to fight back. Regardless of the outcome of that battle. Your resilience was something I’ve never really seen.”

You’re a bit in awe.

“More often than not we have to face the bad in the world. I guess a part of me needed to be reminded that we weren’t just fighting for ourselves, but for other people. You reminded me of that when you told me you wanted to be a hero. Just like us.”

Leo’s hands dropped to his side, and he moved closer.

“Every time you fought, every patrol you accompanied us on, the more I learned. Then that one night you got hurt and it scared me. I saw what could happen if you were ever discovered. So I told myself that you needed to be better. Than Raph or Donnie or Mikey. You needed to be better than me. That was the only way you would be safe.”

Tears gathered at the corner of your eyes.

“I convinced myself that it was fine if you hated me. It was alright if I became the enemy in your eyes. Because when a real one showed up, you would be ready. But I was wrong. Every time I pushed you I broke your confidence. Your spirit. I acted just like the people I was trying to protect you from and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I ever made you feel like you didn’t belong. Like you weren’t good enough. I’m sorry (Y/N). You’re amazing. Strong, magnificent. You’re a hero. You always have been. “

More than anything, hearing those words from him are possibly all you ever wanted.

You wipe your cheek, grinning at him.

“Thank you Leo. Thank you so much!!” You run into his arms, and he holds on as you wrap your arms around his torso, holding on tight.

“You’re welcome.”

~~~

The atmosphere has calmed down a bit, and now you can't help but tease.

“So you’ve been crushing on me since we met huh. That makes sense. “ You’re now lying on his bed, and Leo laughs from his spot on the floor as he meditates.

“What about you?”

You sit up at his question.

“You had a crush on me too.” You flush at his statement.

“I-I never said that!!”

“You didn’t.”

His legs unfold, and he stands. You can feel your heart race with the slow manner in which he approaches.

“You never told me, but when I kissed you, you didn’t push me away.” He’s looking down at you with those piercing eyes.

“In fact, you pulled me closer..” His hand presses into the mattress, and your blush darkens.

“I-I was just in shock!!”

“Really?”

He leans over, and you gulp. You’re locked between the bed and his body. His knees sink into the bed, and you try to look anywhere but directly at him.

“Push me away.”

He taunts softly. Leo lowers, and you bite down on your lip when he leaves a kiss on your neck. The kisses begin to move down your neck, and you close your eyes, brows knitting as you do your best to keep in any embarrassing sounds. You lift your hands to offer another snarky comment, but they flatten on his chest. Your eyes meet slowly, and Leo doesn’t say a word, and neither do you. It’s clear to see how muscular Leo is. But seeing and feeling were completely different.

It’s crazy to think that just a few weeks ago you both were bickering like cats and dogs. Now, being this close to him has become almost as natural as breathing. There’s a bit of hesitance in your eyes. Leo notices it immediately.

“Leo..are you sure you actually like me. M-Maybe you just feel guilty because of before.” You wish you could banish the thought.

“I love you, and guilt has nothing to do with it.”

When your eyes connect this time, you appear hopeful. Leo sounds so sure.

“I know because of how we started you might doubt me, but I swear this isn’t because of guilt or some obligation. I’ve always cared about you. More than I wanted to admit to myself. That day when you looked at me, when you accused me of hating you it made me realize how ridiculous I was." His hand brushes your cheek.

“Please don’t ever doubt how I feel about you again."

You’re not sure how you managed to see such a side to Leo. As long as you’ve known him. He’s always had this serious by the book persona. No excuses, no mistakes. You both have made so many mistakes, but everything is different now.

“Can you tell me you love me again? Just..one more time..”

It’s something you never realized you loved hearing.

Leo smiles.

“I love you (Y/N).”

Even though it’s your request, your cheeks are red. Leo expects you to say some snide remark and deny the flushness in your cheeks that he’s about to tease you about. He prepares for it.

“I love you too Leo.” You’re looking right at him, and his heart gives a quick thump. His eyes widened just a fraction.

“Did she just say..”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, only leans down and kisses you.

You welcome it happily.

[sebsxphia]

bestie seb. i present to you my first thought dump for mr rhett abbott:

you were rhett’s first real relationship. he was so happy with you the first few weeks and then his feelings started to get bigger. he started to feel so many strong emotions and he realized he cared about you so much that it scared him, like a lot. so what did he do? the only logical thing in his brain. put on his stoic and cold exterior and breakup with you.

the part that hurt the most about the breakup for you was the rhett that ended things with you was not your rhett. your rhett spoke softly and his words flowed freely. the rhett that ended things with you talked to you with an icy demeanor and heavily calculated statements. yet here you are, six weeks after your breakup, your friends have finally dragged you out to the bar.

the same friends were on high alert because not long after y’all had made your entrance so did the man who broke your heart. they had been working tirelessly all night to keep him from crossing into your line of sight to preserve the happy mood you’ve finally settled into.

“i need to pee i’ll be right back.” they do a quick sweep to ensure rhett is not going to enter your peripherals on your trip to and from the bathroom and then say they’ll order you another drink in the meantime.

your self proclaimed bodyguards had clocked the way that rhett’s gaze rarely had left you since he came into the bar. the second he stepped in and his eyes adjusted to the dimly lit bar his eyes were like magnets drawn to you. yet he had kept his distance so they let their guard down with you gone in the bathroom, taking this time to just chat with each other without keeping their heads on a swivel. this, however, was their biggest mistake. rhett was very aware of the game of protector your friends were playing and when he saw them relax as you made your way down the hall to the bathrooms he knew this was his chance. he stood slowly, both out of caution of alerting your friends of his movement and as a response to the countless whiskeys he had consumed while watching you.

when rhett deemed he was in the clear, he did his best to quickly and swiftly follow the path you had taken.

you were just exiting the bathroom, having just spent the last five minutes crying because even though you were having a good time your heart was still aching and then trying to make it look like you hadn’t been crying, when rhett entered the hallway to the bathrooms and your gaze snapped up from the floor.

“hey sweet girl” rhett softly spoke with a tell tale slurring together of his words. he was drunk. but your heart fluttered after he spoke. his soft tone, it was your rhett, again. but you’ve listened to too many hours of breakup playlists to give in at just that, you couldn’t give him any special attention, it was your turn to turn cold, so you put on the best act you could.

“rhett.” that was all you could get out without giving yourself away. you spoke his name in a tone dripping in disinterest but your throat was hoarse from the sobs you just let out so there was your telltale, the gravel that shows up in your voice when you’ve been crying.

he noticed it. when he heard it, he took in your appearance carefully, your eyes were slightly puffy and no longer were framed in the mascara you had on when you left your friends. the two of you were at a standstill in the hall, rhett staring intently at you as he stood with a slight sway and an occasional shuffle, and you were avoiding meeting his gaze, arms folding across your chest, an attempt at closing you off from anymore heart ache from him.

“my sweet-my sweet girl, i miss you.” he spoke with a hiccup.

an immediate scoff passed your lips at the audacity of the man in front of you or at the audacity of your heart to skip a beat. that was it, you needed to get out of this hallway before your limited resolve crumbled.

“okay rhett, tell me that when you’re sober. now, if you’ll excuse me.”

not looking to stick around any longer, you push past him and walk quickly to your friends at the bar, you hurriedly tell them to close the tabs and then start filling them in once you are on the outside of the bar. ever the good friends, once they get you home they ask if you want them to stay with you for the night but you insist you’re fine and just want to go to sleep. which you did. until a knock at your door woke you up promptly with the sunrise.

you begrudgingly trudge to your door, not bothering to check who it is and expecting it to be your friends bringing coffee and breakfast to watch the sunrise and debrief. you were instead met with rhett. he was freshly shaven and showered, dressed in your favorite shirt of his, holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers, and looking at you with the uneasiest eyes. you open your mouth to hopefully find words to say to him but promptly shut it as he speaks, his voice has a nervous shake but is soft. your rhett speaks.

“i’m sober and i miss you.”

AAAAHHHHHH WHAT OMG MY HEART

the part that hurt the most about the breakup for you was the rhett that ended things with you was not your rhett. your rhett spoke softly and his words flowed freely. the rhett that ended things with you talked to you with an icy demeanor and heavily calculated statements. yet here you are, six weeks after your breakup, your friends have finally dragged you out to the bar.

AAAAAAH WAIT YOUR HEART??? WHAT ABOUT MINE??????? IM DYING OUT HERE BESTIE

that paragraph above had my whole heart flutter and then shatter to pieces in seconds because that is so painfully accurate to how rhett could be. but then on the flip side, when rhett realizes what he’s lost he knows he can’t loose anyone else so he’ll be there with a fresh shave and flowers in his hand to apologise. you bet your ass i’m gonna make him grovel though.

also, this whole piece is insanely written and i still cannot believe you send me this stuff, for free!!!!!!!! i love this and your writing so much and i’m so honored that i get to receive rhett thoughts now too <33

thank you so much for this bestie!! i could kiss you!! 💌

[lgcgyuri]

₊ ˚ ⊹ 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐘 𝐈 , a solo.

sometimes, jeju feels like a stranger.

years spent abroad, growing and learning and developing, only to plant her roots in seoul upon her return to korea, have long since erased that oh so familiar scent of the ocean from her senses. sunny skies, sandy toes, sticky fingers— when was the last time gyuri properly allowed herself to time reconnect with her first home?

when was the last time gyuri had the chance to visit her mother?

the cost of fame, training, success, came at the expense of family. willingly separated but hopelessly yearnful, not a day goes by where gyuri doesn't think of the strongest woman she knows, loving gazes and encouragements galore now divided by distance and conflicting schedules. gyuri knew the necessity to be apart would hurt, that it'd be hard, especially at the start ( for the majority of her life, the two did everything together, so to suddenly be on her own had been quite the shock to her system, a period of adjustment she'd done well to overcome but that was still difficult nonetheless ).

they'd been able to make time for visits before, of course, free time between busy training schedules allowing for her mother to visit the city during certain weekends, holidays reserved exclusively for much-needed catch-ups.

seollal, this time around, was different, charged and exciting in a way gyuri can't help but feel elation for.

she was an actress now— or, well, she was going to be an actress. finally, fully and wholly, she'd soon be stepping into a dream she'd worked long and hard to achieve. she was ready for this, ready for all of the changes to come, ready to bloom.

but, with impending change came an odd period of mourning.

gyuri would only get busier, would only become more known and recognizable the more she did, a wanted prospect, but also a limiting one. it'd soon become harder to walk around without eyes spotting her, phones and cameras out to catch her in candid action. it'd soon become harder to keep her private life, well, private. it'd soon be hard to coordinate trips back home, her mother waiting with open arms.

so, greeted by her mother with a warm smile that mirrors her own as she steps off the boat that's taken her back to jeju for the few days of peace she's been afforded, gyuri keeps her phone on do not disturb. she's here to soak everything in, to refamiliarize herself with the home she's never had the chance to delve back into, to rest under the protective eyes of the person she trusted the most.

she's here to take hold of her center before the world begins to shake.

[dasha-aibo]

Man, I watched modern One Piece with my bf

I watched it up to the end of the Alabasta arc back in, like, 2006 and the difference is staggering

Like, I won't even harp on the fights taking too long or the amount of recaps and reused footage. It's egregious, but that's shonen for you, I guess.

The fights are shit. None of the enemies have interesting abilities, everything devolves into beam spams, even for fucking ZORRO, who uses swords, but his big fight of the last arc is still somehow a beam spam. And the animation is either stiff, because they're saving up for big sakuga moments... Or big sakuga moments that are so chaotic and over-animated you can barely tell what the fuck is going on.

A lot of the time I couldn't gauge the stakes at all. Sanji VS Queen comes to mind, as it felt like the fucking dinosaur should've been defeated for at least six times before he actually went down.

Oda's quirk of drawing some characters really big for no good reason always looked cute from a distance but in the actual fights it just looks goofy compared to normal-size protags.

Was excited to see Brook and Franky, who weren't even introduced when I stopped watching and they did fuck all.

Chopper and Usopp felt like they were doing fuck all too.

Gear 5 is a mess. I get that they're trying to evoke the feeling of rubberhose cartoons / Looney Tunes shenanigans, but they're also trying to marry it with outrageous sakuga and it just ends up looking like animation vomit. The boring fight location and the very dull color palette aren't helping to distinguish WTF is going on on the screen either. And Luffy somehow acheiving it right after seemingly dying because he's a special chosen one boy with a very special fruit is just... So boring.

I understand that I started watching in the middle of an arc and I'm missing context, but it felt like most of the fights laked any personal emotional stakes too.

I compare it to the fight against Crocodile and his goons and not only was everyone involved, everyone had to think and improvise how to counter their enemies' abilities (except Zorro, lmao), the animation was a lot easier to read even if it was cheaper and everything just kind of felt more grounded and understandable. We knew our team's limitations and understood the powers of our enemies.

That said, I did like some of the fights in the new ark:

Sanji VS Queen at least had some emotional beats for Sanji, even if they spent way too long on them. Should've left the angst for after the fight.

Killer VS Straw Doll guy was a genuinely cool fight with a creative power set and solution. I didn't even know who those jobbers are, but they clearly had history and emotional stakes, I cared about what was going on. Best fight of the whole arc.

Trafalgar and Kid VS Big Momma was kinda cool. Interesting powers, the two had to learn how to fight together, shit was happening. Momma as a big stationary target was kind of meh, tho. Like, she was a glorified turret.

Overall, I was expecting more out of the modern One Piece. I adore the early arks and was planning to catch up, but now I'm unsure.