#so we should be understanding of each other and relating to each other cuz we all know the feeling of invalidation

[bukuoshin]

Okay, it's. It's probably safe to say I'm autistic, lol

[decolonize-the-everything]

Just discovered what "littermate syndrome" is and I'm disgusted with colonizers

Nothing is sacred that threatens their place of power no matter how minor that place is; they can't stand the thought of not being the center of someone else's universe.

I can't imagine the battles they must have in their heads to feel so superior to everything and simultaneously so scared of losing that unnatural belief in superiority that they can't even let dog siblings be around each other. Because even that tiniest inkling of having an actual community with others is a threat to their place of power.

All this oppression to maintain their delicate sense of safety which wouldn't be in danger to begin with if they'd minded their fucking business and just let people be.

Not EVERYTHING is here for them to take.

To make this understandable and maybe even relatable, the way colonizers treat the earth and it's inhabitants is how the worst of men treat women under patriarchy. Theirs for the taking. If a woman- like unclaimed land- is unharmed and still full of potential it's because a man simply hasn't found her and taken that status from her yet. Her freedom entirely dependent on how long she can avoid being seen by someone who wants to brag about owning her and the way he changed her.

If colonizers were just men maybe it wouldn't take so long to understand why colonization and subjugation to this extent, like sexual assault, is so unforgivable.

But thats not the case. So instead of having half the population as allies I have to deal with reading articles about "littermate syndrome" because how else are you going to cope with abandoning your humanity for power while pretending it's "just the way things are"

If it was really 'just the way things are' I don't think they'd need so many rules and cops and laws and states, and even articles about dogs to enforce all those ideas. Colonizers fight their own humanity and try to convince everyone else to hate themselves just as much and then have the audacity to accuse anyone who doesn't of being "uncivilized" and a "savage"

Like how the value of a dog directly correlates to it's trainability.

And all dogs can be trained, right?

Some of them just need more intense training. Sometimes you just need to deprive them of everything and teach them every blessing is a gift their "owner" alone can give, right?

Gotta teach em manners and civility and to be grateful for the blessing of being owned. Cuz imagine if they weren't and they had to survive on your own? Imagine how awful freedom would be, (classic colonizer line).

How dangerous to be on your own, unowned. Could you imagine how much worse the next person would be? Being owned by a nice colonizer is salvation. And you should be lucky because some colonizers... Well the way they treat their property is unthinkable isn't it?

Like what they said to natives after we were upset at being thrust from our land and onto reservations. At least they gave us land, right? According to colonizers it's them we have to thank for electricity and having a pot to piss in anyway. They could've just killed us.

They say the same about Palestinians now. And about prisoners. And they said it during slavery. And they've certainly said it to children who misbehave (act like a child). They say it about dogs. The earth.

Everything could be worse, though, right?

What ungrateful savages we are for not understanding how happy we should be just to be given the gift of the next breath by people who insist on seeing themselves as gods above us like they don't bleed the same color with the same ease as the rest of us.

And boy do they hate being reminded of that

[kokoch4n3l]

˗ˏˋ ve kamleya ࿐ྂ "if you want to do something, go fall in love. fulfill your stubborn wish for once"

summary: in which during a deal with overseas businessmen, bonten finds out about your shitty ex from high school

pairing(s): slight bonten x desi!oc, implied mikey x desi!oc

notes: oc is punjabi cuz I said so and this is also kind of a self-insert so... title from my fav hindi song ve kamleya, the video has eng subs btw. dividers by cafekitsune

warnings: dark content 18+, canon typical violence, drug-related business(opium), drug trafficking, slight misogyny, implied/referenced ptsd, past abusive relationship, mean!manjiro, slight insensitivity, blood and gore, implied torture, implied murder, suggestive themes

word count: 3770

The smoky haze of the dimly lit room hung heavy, casting shadows that danced across the faces of the assembled men. Sano Manjiro, the imposing leader of the Bonten gang, sat at the head of the table, his steely gaze surveying the room with a mixture of authority and calm. Around him sat his trusted lieutenants, each one a force to be reckoned with in their own right. The only woman among them, commanded the attention of the room as she rose to address their guests once again after hours of debate. After all, Sano Manjiro trusted no one else to get this deal done. “I understand the… demand, for opium up in the north of India but you should also know we aren’t lowering our price either” She says in English, tone gentle yet somehow firm at the same time 

Her words hung in the air, a subtle reminder of the strength of their position in the negotiations. The guests shifted uncomfortably, keenly aware of the delicate balance of power at play. "We are prepared to meet your needs," she continued in the same language, her gaze steady. "But it must be on terms that are mutually beneficial."

One man clears his throat and speaks up finally. “You must understand Miss, we have no deficiency of suppliers, especially for opium,” The man says in English with a slight accent behind it as he casually adjusts his gold rings “The stuff from Japan is a lot higher in quality which is why we’re here doing this deal anyway. But we—”

“Because it is a lot higher in quality we cannot lower our price” She interjects with a calm smile “You know, labour costs and all” 

The man's expression tightened, his gaze flickering between her and Sano Manjiro as if weighing his options. Behind him, his companions exchanged cautious glances, sensing the tension in the air. "We understand your position," the man replied finally, his tone conceding to the reality of the situation. "But surely there's room for negotiation."

Her smile remained fixed, though her eyes betrayed no hint of compromise. "Of course, negotiations are always possible," she conceded her voice like velvet over steel. "But we must be clear on one thing: our price reflects not just the quality of our product, but the risks we undertake to supply it."

Akashi Takeomi, silent until now, leaned forward slightly. "Our operations are not without their challenges," he added, his voice low back in the same language, his accent a lot thicker than hers "But for the right partners, we are willing to mitigate those risks."

The men turn to each other and start conversing in another language and at the same time, she quietly translates to Takeomi exactly what they’re saying back in Japanese. She eyes Manjiro who’s standing in front of the large floor-to-ceiling windows of the meeting room. It looked like he was zoned out, staring at the skyline of Tokyo but she and the rest of Bonten knew better than to think that. He was listening alright, even when it didn’t look like he was. The rest were just leaning back in their chairs, bored from the constant debate. “Say, Miss…” One of the men, probably the youngest, says in English with a prominent American accent “I hear you’re from India too. What state?”

She raises her brow at the question but responds anyway. “Punjab”

The other men seem to get excited at her answer. Of course, they would. After all, what language were they speaking this entire time to each other? “Really? I knew I recognized that nose from somewhere” One man switches to Punjabi when addressing her “Women from the north are known for being beautiful. I should have known you were from there”

His change of tone catches Manjiro’s attention and he finally, since the beginning of this meeting, turns to look at the businessmen. He obviously didn’t understand what they said but his instincts were something even the executives were afraid of so she won’t doubt that he had gotten the gist of what had been said. She shifts in her seat, Takeomi and the rest of Bonten looking at her curiously. “As much as I appreciate the flattery, we still aren’t lowering our price” She replies calmly in English, knowing replying back in Punjabi would no doubt make Manjiro aggravated as he liked to know what she was saying at all times

The businessmen exchanged uneasy glances, sensing the shift in the atmosphere. Behind them, Sano Manjiro remained silent, his gaze now fixed on her with an intensity that sent a shiver down her spine. She knew that he was listening, that every word spoken in his presence was carefully scrutinized for any hint of deception or weakness. The youngest of the group seemed unfazed by her response, pressing on with his attempts at charm. "Come on, sweetheart," he said, an American accent thick even when speaking in Punjabi, with arrogance. "Surely we can come to some sort of arrangement."

Her smile tightened, a glimmer of steel beneath her gentle facade. "I'm afraid not," she replied in English, her tone cool and final. "Our price is non-negotiable."

The tension in the room was palpable, the air heavy with the weight of unspoken threats. It’s just then the door of the meeting room opens revealing a new face. “Sorry I’m late, traffic in Tokyo is—”

Manjiro waves the newcomer off. He was obviously with the other businessmen. The other executives are annoyed as hell with the lateness, after all the meeting had been going on for hours already, but don’t mention it as they’re tired. But that’s when Manjiro notices his only female executive has gone still. She’s frozen which is extremely uncharacteristic of her and it worries him. So he does the first thing that comes to mind. “How about we take a break.” He says, voice low and everyone knows it’s not an offer but a command

Manjiro headed for the door of the meeting room and his executives followed behind, Takeomi having to literally drag her to stand at one point. They’re in the elevator. Manjiro eyes her as she removes her red-bottomed heels from her feet, sighing in relief. The elevator is going up to the top floor. “Any weaknesses so far?” Kakucho asks, his voice breaking the silence

“Punctuality apparently” Ran mutters in annoyance 

They all look toward her, wondering what she had to say but instead, she’s silent, holding her heels in one hand, leaning against the elevator wall looking very out of breath. Rindo snaps his fingers in front of her face. “Dude” he says

“Hm?” she looks up at him, uncharacteristically dazed

Usually, she would have snapped at him, kicked Rindo in the shin or threatened to stab him with her heels but no, she didn’t. It was… concerning. Her uncharacteristic behaviour caught everyone’s attention. She isn’t usually like this— quiet, dazed and unconfident. No one is sure what to say, not even Kakucho who was Bonten’s collective impulse control and unlicenced and unpaid therapist. The elevator reaches the top floor and they file out of the elevator, into the private lounge. They watch in silence as she sits on the long circular-shaped couch, her heels dropped carelessly to the floor as she puts her hair up, revealing the hanafuda full moon tattoo on the back of her neck— on the same location as Manjiro has his. Manjiro takes a seat next to her and the rest sit on the couch too, staring. She looks at them, narrowing her eyes a bit. “What?”

“We should be asking you that” Mochi says as he lights himself a cigarette 

Her gaze lingered on each member of Bonten in turn, her expression inscrutable, as if weighing her words carefully before speaking. The tension in the room tightened like a taut wire, anticipation thrumming through the air. "I'm fine," she finally replied, her tone clipped, though the strain in her voice was evident to those who knew her well. "Too many languages just making my head hurt"

The response did little to ease the unease that had settled over the group like a heavy fog. They had seen her weather countless storms with unyielding resolve, her strength a pillar upon which they had come to rely. But now, faced with her uncharacteristic vulnerability, they found themselves at a loss for how to proceed. Manjiro studied her carefully, his keen eyes searching for any sign of deception or weakness. He knew her better than anyone and understood the walls she erected to shield herself from the world. But beneath the facade of stoicism, he sensed a flicker of genuine concern, a vulnerability she had never shown before. “Nah uh,” Sanzu says rolling his eyes “You started being all weird when the motherfucker who doesn’t know how to be on time showed up”

She shifts uncomfortably. It seems Sanzu’s observation was a hit. Her discomfort was palpable, her usual confidence shaken by the blunt observation. She shifted in her seat, a flicker of uncertainty betraying her stoic facade. The others watched her closely, their expressions a mix of concern and curiosity, unsure of how to proceed. Sanzu's words hung in the air, a stark reminder of the tension that had simmered beneath the surface since the newcomer's arrival. She felt the weight of their expectations bearing down on her, the pressure to maintain her composure in the face of mounting scrutiny. "I..." She began, her voice trailing off as she struggled to find the right words. 

She couldn’t find an excuse. But even as she stayed silent, she could feel the disapproving stares of her companions, their silent judgment weighing heavily upon her. Manjiro, ever the astute leader, sensed her distress and moved to intervene. "Enough," he declared, his voice cutting through the tension like a knife. "This conversation is over."

His authoritative tone brooked no argument, and the others fell silent, their eyes darting between her and their leader. “Go back to the meeting the rest of you”

Rest of you meaning, everyone leave and Manjiro and her stay. Without a word, the others rose from their seats, casting one last glance at her before filing out of the room. As the door closed behind them, a heavy silence descended, leaving only Manjiro and her alone in the private lounge. Manjiro looks at her, black eyes a bottomless pit of nothing. “What’s wrong?” He asks

There was no room for reflecting on his question. Manjiro was direct and needed answers as to why his best negotiator had suddenly frozen up in the midst of a deal. “You know him” It wasn’t a question this time but an observation

Manjiro understood the intricacies of their world better than anyone, and he knew the dangers that lurked beneath the surface of even the most seemingly innocuous interactions. The newcomer's presence had disrupted the delicate balance of power, setting off alarm bells in her mind that she couldn't ignore. “I um… I…” She isn’t able to get her words out

He gives her a look. “Tell me” It’s a command

She shifts uncomfortably. She fiddles with her white gold rings, they glimmer under the artificial lighting. “That’s my ex…”

Manjiro raises a brow. Her admission hung heavy in the air, the weight of her revelation settling like a leaden cloak upon them both. Manjiro's expression remained unreadable, though a flicker of concern danced in the depths of his obsidian eyes. "Your ex…" he repeated, his voice betraying no emotion.

She nodded, her throat constricting with the weight of unspoken memories and unresolved emotions. She had hoped to keep her past firmly buried in the depths of her mind, but now, confronted with Manjiro's unwavering gaze, she found herself unable to hide the truth any longer. "He... he wasn't supposed to be here," she stammered, her voice barely above a whisper. "I thought... I thought I could handle it, but..."

Her words trailed off, lost in the suffocating silence that enveloped them. She could feel the weight of Manjiro's scrutiny bearing down upon her, his gaze penetrating as he searched for some semblance of understanding in her haunted eyes. “And what did he do for my best negotiator to react like a psychiatric patient just at the sight of him?”

She shifts again but this time he holds her thigh to stop her from moving. There was no getting out of this conversation. Manjiro always got what he wanted and right now he wanted answers. “I… I dated him in high school”

It’s been years. She knows Manjiro is gonna belittle her for being this way over something that ended years ago but… She spills. She tries her best to tell him vaguely what happened— trying to be as vague as possible but Manjiro just keeps asking for more details. He wanted to know everything and once he was satisfied he pulled out his phone and typed something then threw it carelessly on the table. “Is that why you don’t date or sleep around like the others do?” He asks bluntly “Because of what he did?”

Manjiro looked angry. It was odd seeing an actual emotion in his eyes for once even if it was anger. She gulps. Oh man did she hate her stupid ex right now. It had been years since they broke up or well, since she forced the break up because he refused to let her leave. That stupid asshole traumatized her so badly that now even though she was an executive for Japan’s most ruthless and dangerous gang, he made her want to throw up from fear. “I’m sorry—”

“Shut up” Manjiro says lowly but she keeps going

“No, it was extremely unprofessional and I shouldn’t let my personal feelings come in the middle of work—”

He cuts her off again, grabbing her face and squeezing her cheeks together. Her lips jut out a bit from the action. The tips of Manjiro’s fingers dig into her cheeks and her skin warms under his touch, turning the most endearing shade of pink he’s ever seen. “And what exactly are you apologizing for?” Manjiro mutters looking annoyed

She thinks he might just shoot her, empty his Glock out in her head and get Sanzu or Koko to call the cleaners to get rid of her body and turn her into fishbait. “F-For fucking up the deal…” She tries saying as he squeezes her face tighter with the tips of his fingers

Manjiro chuckles and it has to be one of the scariest things she’s heard in her life. “Wrong. Apologize for dating such an ugly little bitch”

“... huh?”

She thinks she’s hearing things. “You heard me,” Manjiro says nonchalantly “apologize” 

Her heart pounded in her chest as she struggled to comprehend the meaning behind his words. Was this some twisted form of punishment? Or was there something else, something more insidious, at play here? With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, She realized that she was treading dangerous waters, her every move scrutinized by the man before her. And as she searched his eyes for some semblance of understanding, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to his demand than met the eye. Sanzu and Rindo often joked that she got away with a lot of things and Manjiro was the most lenient with her. Was Manjiro finally giving her the punishment she deserved for all the other times she fucked up? Oh man, no way she was going to die because of her stupid bitch ass ex. “Hey” He says snapping her out of her thoughts

She looks at him. “The deal is off. I don’t want it to go through anyway”

Her eyes widen at his words. “Wait w-what—”

But Manjiro's expression remained impassive, his gaze unwavering as he met her eyes. There was a hardness in his stare, a determination that sent a shiver down her spine. "I said the deal is off," he repeated, his tone firm.

Her mind raced as she tried to make sense of Manjiro's decision. Was this punishment for her perceived failure? Or was there something else at play, something she couldn't quite grasp? As she searched his eyes for some clue, some hint of understanding, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to Manjiro's actions than met the eye. Manjiro's gaze held a steely resolve as she struggled to comprehend his abrupt decision. The implications of the deal falling through reverberated through the room, casting a shadow over their carefully laid plans. But beneath the surface, she sensed a tension, a hidden undercurrent that hinted at something deeper. "Why?" she asked, her voice tinged with confusion and a hint of desperation. "Why cancel the deal?"

Manjiro's expression softened ever so slightly, a flicker of something akin to regret in his eyes. It was a rare moment of vulnerability, one that sent a jolt of uncertainty coursing through her veins. "Because some things are more important than business," Manjiro replied, his voice low and measured.

Her mind raced as she tried to make sense of his cryptic words. What could be more important than securing Bonten's position in the underworld? What could possibly justify throwing away the opportunity they had worked so hard to achieve? But before she can speak, he lets go of her face and his hand slides to the back of her neck, the tips of his fingers now digging into her— his— tattoo. Almost as if he could read her mind he asks, “Are you questioning my authority?”

She doesn’t dare move away from him or shake her no to answer him. Manjiro didn’t like being answered with gestures, he preferred words. “N-No…”

“Good” he says 

Manjiro's hand lingered on the back of her neck, his touch was both possessive and unsettling. She could feel the weight of his gaze upon her, his eyes boring into hers with an intensity that made her breath catch in her throat. His nails slightly dig into the knobs of her spine, right on the tattoo. It doesn’t hurt but it feels hot. One thing Manjiro often reminded her of is that Bonten was his. That included the executives and that especially included her. Her life belonged to him and he clearly wasn’t taking her being afraid of someone that wasn’t him very nicely. “You’re really gonna let a guy like that stop you from ever falling in love again?”

The question almost stopped her heart because it was not what she expected him to ask. She had never expected Manjiro to broach such a sensitive topic, let alone express concern for her romantic endeavours. But beneath the surprise, a flicker of something else stirred within her—a yearning for something more, something beyond the confines of Bonten's ruthless world. "I..." she faltered, her voice barely above a whisper. 

How could she explain the depths of her fear, the scars that her past had left upon her soul? How could she make him understand the tangled web of emotions that had kept her trapped in the shadow of her own memories? But before she could formulate a response, Manjiro's hand tightened on the back of her neck, his grip possessive yet strangely comforting. "You don't have to answer now," he said, his voice softer than before but it quickly went back to being harsh “I am disappointed though”

His hand holding her thigh comes up to hold her cheek now. She’s frozen, unsure of what to do. "How could my executive let a little bitch like that do that to her and not move on for years?" Manjiro's voice was low, his words cutting through the silence like a knife.

Her mind raced as she struggled to find the right words to say. How could she explain the depths of her pain, the scars that her past had left upon her soul? How could she make him understand the tangled web of emotions that had kept her trapped in the shadow of her own memories? But before she could formulate a response, Manjiro's thumb brushed against her cheekbone, his touch both intimate and unsettling. She felt a surge of vulnerability wash over her, a raw honesty that threatened to shatter the carefully constructed walls she had built around her heart. "I... I don't know," She finally whispered, her voice barely above a breath. "I'm sorry..." 

Manjiro's grip on her cheek tightened, his touch both gentle and commanding. He held her gaze with an intensity that made her feel as though he could see straight through to her soul. "Sorry doesn't change the past," he murmured, his voice a low rumble in the quiet room.

She felt a knot form in her stomach at his words, a familiar sense of guilt and inadequacy washing over her. She had spent years trying to bury the pain of her past, to escape the memories that haunted her every waking moment. But now, confronted with Manjiro's unwavering gaze, she couldn't help but feel as though she had failed him in some fundamental way. "I know…" she replied softly, her voice barely audible above the sound of her own heartbeat.

Manjiro's thumb traced a slow, soothing pattern against her cheekbone, his touch a silent reassurance amidst the storm of emotions raging within her. Finally, after a long moment of silence, he speaks up “Fall in love again…”

His words are unexpected but she also makes no move to pull back from him. “Is that an order, Mr. Sano?”

Finally, Manjiro smiles. It’s genuine. Or at least it seems genuine. “Yes. Yes it is”

“Did you call the clean-up crew?” Ran asks Koko who’s cleaning the blood of his shoes

Koko nods wordlessly, a look of annoyance on his face as he had just bought these damn shoes yesterday. “Let’s go back up” Takeomi says as he lights a cigarette, stepping over a dead body of one of the businessmen

“Maybe not” Kakucho interjects as his eyes are on his phone, cheeks a little flushed

He shoves it into his pocket and shakes his head at his fellow colleagues. For a moment they’re silent until— “fuckin’ hell” Mochi grumbles as he transfers 10 thousand into Ran’s account

“See I fuckin’ told you he’d fuck her” Ran says with a shrug, eyes lighting up at the notification on his phone signalling the transfer had been made and completed

Their conversation is cut out with a loud scream as Sanzu stabs his katana through her ex’s chest. They look towards him and the pink-haired male simply shrugs. 

[ladyloveandjustice]

Otherside Picnic Volume 8 Review that Devolves into a Bunch of Quotes and Gushing

I’ve been wanting to do a review of Otherside Picnic Vol 8 because I loved it so much, but haven’t been in the right mindspace to properly convey my enthusiasm. But I’m about to get busy so it’s now or never. Here are my thoughts that are inevitably going to devolve into a bunch of quotes and gushing. Let's just go through it all!

-I loved this so much, first off. It literally inspired me to have an honest discussion with my partner about my own intimacy and relationship quirks and what we want from each other. It made me feel a little better about myself and my own weirdness, that’s how much it affected me. It really got across the relief of just communicating in a relationship, of having frank conversations with your partner, and accepting your differences from the mainstream as okay.

-The conversation about romance, love, and sex being different actually made me tear up, which is how I knew this book would murder me from the beginning. It’s just so nice to see one of my favorite yuri and favorite romantic stories ever acknowledge asexuality and the full spectrum of experiences in such an understanding and thoughtful way.

-I love that this book really recontextualizes the oblivious-to-love protagonist, slow-burn and often stalled development that aren’t uncommon in animanga adjacent media romances and made it into something incredibly interesting. This was already hinted at in previous volumes, but Sorawo’s disconnect with her own feelings and slowness in responding to Toriko wasn’t just to tease the audience, but because her view of romance and her understanding of her own feelings conflicted with societal ideas of romance and it left her lost and confused. It makes everything that came before it so much more meaningful. This is also extremely relatable, and I love that Sorawo was frustrated with the idea of her relationship fitting into a socially acceptable box, when she felt what she had with Toriko was a lot more complicated and far reaching and didn’t want to define it so neatly.

-Honestly reading about Sorawo not being all that into kissing and basically being like "I don't hate it but it doesn't do anything for me" made me feel a little bit less alone and little more confident in talking about this aspect of my experience. ME TOO. GIRL.

-Every single yuri should have a line like “sounds to me like you’re a raging lesbian” from now on. How can anything ever live up to this.

-Toriko looking into sexual abuse gave me a heart attack because at first I thought she was trying to understand what happened with her and Satsuki. But she was researching Sorawo, because the stuff with the Red Person made her realize Sorawo has trauma and I felt so vindicated about my article. Then we have the hilarity of Sorawo, who literally has a “cult mode” when she’s made to relive where she had to deal with abuses from cults, where she becomes like a different person and talks to herself like she’s a separate person and is disconnected from her normal self…claiming she doesn’t have lingering cult trauma and doesn’t dissociate.

And then Toriko going “uhhhh what about the Red Person?”

“Huh oh that didn’t count. Cuz your love saved me.”

THE most un-self aware person, I love her.

(And EVERYONE knows it, especially Toriko, loved this exchange:

“Don’t try to force something I’m not aware of onto me.”

“Sorawo, there aren’t many things about you that you actually display self-awareness of.”

“Wow, insulting much?!” )

-The fact Toriko noticed how thirsty Sorawo was for her the second they met is so funny and makes that scene 100 times better in hindsight.

“It took me by surprise. Here I am, holding you in my arms, and you go and stare at my face, then your eyes start working their way down. I was like, ‘Girl sure has a lot of energy for someone who almost drowned.’”

“So, what? When you were talking about me ogling you before, you meant—”

“Yeah, right from the get-go. From the moment you saw me for the first time.”

Sorawo didn’t realize she was doing it…the entire exchange is hilarious. SO much of this book was hilarious honestly, here are some other choice quotes:

Who would’ve known there could be such a touching scene right next to a shelf stuffed full of erotic manga with titles so incredible that I couldn’t possibly name them...?

And this, the best love confession ever:

“I love you! I love you!”

“For real?”

“Apparently!”

-I really liked that Toriko was genuinely worried Sorawo might not have consented to the previous kisses and might be bothered by them. It built on the ongoing theme of Toriko struggling with emotional and physical boundaries, giving her such good character growth, and It shows a concern and care most stories gloss over.

…Which is kind of a stark contrast to the lack of concern she shows about that time she hit Sorawo in volume 6, despite Sorawo bringing it up as a problem. This has been an ongoing issue that’s bothered me, and it’s been mentioned often enough I hope Miyazawa is going to actually do something to address it. He DID address the questionable consent of the earlier kisses, going beyond my expectations, so I actually have my fingers crossed this is something we’re going to explore and confront. It’s really jarring compared to the rest of how well everything else has been handled, and is the only mark against the story, so I’m hoping this is intentional. The Toriko who worries Sorawo might have been sexually abused and goes above and beyond to try to be sensitive and understand her and the Toriko who is dismissive of the time she hit her (now) partner seem so in opposition to each other, and I there could be some interesting exploration and resolution of that.

(Miyazawa does mention something about having to treat serious issues casually because of Sorawo's detached, cynical POV and hoping readers will understand; and I think it's likely he was referring to that, which gives me more confidence).

-Sorawo understands Toriko’s moms are lesbians now I’m so proud of her.

-the fact that Toriko wanted to fuck in her dead parents bedroom …she has so many problems, I cherish her.

-I loved getting more Toriko backstory and her moms. Love Sorawo being like “wow I probably should have asked about this but…” YES YOU SHOULD HAVE, FOR MY SAKE. But Sorawo’s focus on living in the here and now, and being content with the Toriko in the here and now, is such an interesting aspect of her.

-EVERYthing about the final scene was so good. Like how can I even talk about it? Toriko fucking Sorawo with her weirdass interdimensionally-corrupted hand while getting jazzed by Sorawo's magic eye is just PEAK lesbian fantasy, no other series had delivered this exact weirdness that I want, thank you for being there for all of us bizarre sapphics.

“I...might make you go crazy.”

“That’s okay.”

Toriko’s hand drew closer. It meant something different now than it had before. If Toriko touched me now, I’d be the one to go insane. She snuggled up to me, so close our noses could touch, and with a voice full of heated passion, she whispered, “Let’s go crazy. Together.”

“Girl hit me with your evil eye, let’s get real fucked up” I love them, they’re such freaks and I am here for it. THE PASSION. THE METAPHOR. THE PURE CHUUNI WISH FUFILLMENT.

-Honestly I just highlighted the entire final scene because it hit me right in my weird gay little soul the way few other things have and I want to be able to whip these out the next time some loser says wlw media doesn’t have poetic declarations of love and passion so I’m just going to go through them.

Here’s one:

But that’s not what happened. Toriko looked beautiful, opening before me like a flower in bloom, and I was aware of every minute branch of the tree, down to their very tips…[]

Toriko became rude, polite, lewd, or embarrassed. I didn’t have the composure to focus or think as I watched, so Toriko changed from one thing to another as my gaze wandered. Laughing, getting angry, crying, fearing, moaning—feeling as if she were flowing from one state to the next, in constant flux, and yet in all of them simultaneously.

Sorawo accepting all sides of Toriko, all her complexity, how she’s everything all at once! And the fact they have such amazing sex they basically GO TO THE OTHERSIDE? Dimension transcending lesbian sex? Showstopping, incredible.

The way her hand moved, tracing the outline of my body—its true outline—was as gentle as could be, sensitive yet bold, overflowing with care, incredibly unreserved, and audacious. It felt like it was packed full of all the experiences of being touched by another person. In another way, different from mine, Toriko was unraveling the person that I was too. I was being decomposed, broken apart. The things that had been pressed into a human form were decompressed, and expanded outwards without limit.

This is how you do a sex scene. If your partner doesn’t unravel you and make you see all the shattered pieces of yourself, is it even worth it? I love the motif of falling apart but becoming more whole at the same time- isn’t that just every human experience all wrapped up into one?

I had been afraid to look at Toriko. Toriko had been afraid to touch me. Now, as we were looking at, or touching, our partner directly, tossed about on the waves of madness, we began to gradually find a way to take control of the situation.

The idea of how maybe you can’t help losing your minds when you look and feel all the other person is…but maybe if you lose your minds together it will be okay. Romance.

These two beasts with all these bodies converged through their desire for one another and were bound together. We were blending together at the interfaces where we connected. The different ‘us’s melted together, without ever becoming a perfect whole, but without fully separating either. Like a chimera made from two types of living being. Or two galaxies colliding.

“We became a chimera” is the absolute nerdiest way to describe making love and thus perfect for them (also lol the beast with two backs).

That’s too long, so how about shortening it to Soratori?” I burst out laughing as I remembered the time she’d tried to use the name Soratori Road for what we now called Route 1 in the other world. “

That’s like one of those ship names,” I told her.

“What’re those?”

“You’re a mangaka’s daughter and you don’t know that?!”

“Nope, not a clue. Is it something dirty?”

“Well, maybe?”

“Hmm.”

Okay, so Sorawo is clearly in some fandom and ships something. Place your bet on what it is. Probably she ships creepypasta monsters.

Do you know what the ‘nue’ is?”

“It’s a Japanese monster, right? Made up of a bunch of different animals mixed together.” “Yeah, that’s the one. As an extension of that, the word can also refer to something that doesn’t have a discernible form.”

[...]

While we were there, the two of us got all mixed up together, right? Intertwined, melting into one, like animals... Depending on how you look at it, you might say we were like a nue.”

“So, basically, if you wanted a word to represent our relationship, we wouldn’t be ‘lovers,’ or ‘accomplices’...but a ‘nue’?”

Okay forget what I said this is ACTUALLY the nerdiest way to describe your relationship. And speaking of nerds, I love this stupid conversation:

“It’s cute. Nue. I like the sound of it. Maybe I’ll get a tattoo of the kanji.”

“You’d take it that far?”

“You’re not gonna get a matching one?”

“They might not let us in the hot springs in Japan anymore. You sure?

” “Huh?! I wouldn’t like that... You think it’d be okay if we put them somewhere no one will see?”

“Where would no one see? This is sounding painful, and I’m not really on board with it.”

“Wha?”

-

Anyway, yeah, this section was everything I wanted, no notes. Toriko and Sorawo have the most demented, fantastical sex possible, having a threesome with the otherside because they all are strange and wonderful, being the nerdiest dorks it’s possible to be, their relationship is now a chimera because that’s even better and more all encompassing that something boring like lovers, Miyazawa really gave us it all, love wins, gays win. What more can I say? I adore this series.

[fullyinconsequential]

Here’s a 3am Steddie rant I think every Steddie lover (and possibly hater) should hear. I have no goal to convert anyone—just to say that the ship did not actually “come from nothing.” Here’s why:

I don’t understand how there wasn’t Steddie foresight in the writer’s room.

So they play it up in season 3 like Steve just can’t get the girl and when he does she’s not the right girl and yada yada yada—cool beans. I love his character arc with Robin, their friendship, her queerness. I love their entire bathroom interaction.

Specifically: “It’s somebody that I didn’t even talk to in school. Maybe cuz Tommy H. would’ve made fun of me, or I wouldn’t be prom king…. First of all, she’s hilarious. So funny. I feel like this summer I have laughed harder than I have laughed in a really long time. And she’s smart—way smarter than me…. She’s honestly unlike anyone I’ve ever met before.”

Traits Robin Also Has that Eddie Shares:

Outcast

Band Kid

The Witty Banter

Eddie’s personality is VERY Robin. Not perfectly so, but maddeningly close.

Another point:

This is just the same person in different gender specific fonts, A.K.A. Steve’s “love interest” versus a guy who called him “big boy” completely unprompted and interrupted a tender moment between him and his “love interest” and complimented him for an entire scene while Steve wore his clothes.

So, really, one of them’s Steve’s love interest and the other is Nancy Wheeler /hj.

I write a lot, and as someone who both writes and consumes an abhorrent amount of media, whoever wrote this down, casted and costumed this way, and allowed for the interactions between Steve and Eddie to be as nuanced as they were (EX: the scene in which Eddie steps forward like he has more to say to Steve before he goes off and kills himself) had to have known what was going to happen. There is simply no way of not seeing it.

And if they didn’t want people shipping Steddie at the scale which they do, here’s what went wrong:

First: defaulting to Steve wanting his ex back is just plain shitty writing. It means you don’t know where to go with the character anymore, and since you’re certain he’s done all the growing he can do, he’s just gonna double back to the conflict he was in in the FIRST SEASON.

Are you serious right now, bro?

Steve’s arc as a character has been absolutely heartwarming to watch. If anything, he’d have been better off given the “I need to figure out how to be happy on my own” narrative. Throwing him back at Nancy is a cop out, a big one.

Second: Eddie. Throwing Eddie in the mix was absolutely a WILD decision, because he looks like Nancy, he banters like Robin, and GENDER IS NO LONGER A PLAUSIBLE REASON FOR AN AUDIENCE TO DENY CHEMISTRY, OR EXPLAIN IT AWAY. Not in the year of our lord 2023, no sir. Not unless you’re going to explicitly state in some way to an audience that these characters are DEFINITIVELY STRAIGHT. And with Eddie, they went as far off that course as possible.

The outcast stuff. The D&D stuff. The hatred of the system. The mysteriously living with his uncle and not his parents. THE HANKERCHIEF IN HIS BACK POCKET.

So essentially, this is what they did:

They took a beloved character, flubbed over his character arc because they weren’t sure what to do with it.

Then, they created a SECOND beloved character, made him likable, lovable, even, and relatable. Then they gave him half and half personality and looks of Steve’s last two love interests. Then they gave us scenes of them together where they showed chemistry, genuineness, and playfulness.

Then they EXPECTED that we as an audience had enough heteronormativity left as a society to say—oh, those two guys aren’t flirting with each other even a little bit because they’re two guys and obviously that doesn’t happen.

WHEN IN THE SAME SEASON WE WATCHED WILL AND ROBIN GO GAY PANIC AND DESPAIR LIKE?????

Pick a side pick a side, are your characters fucking gay or is your audience fucking blind?

Point being, I have some friends IRL who don’t really get this. They think Steve and Eddie hardly interacted enough for there to be romance at all, but I think it’s less about how much they interacted and more about the (unintentional) set up they were given by the writers.

Steve’s a truly beloved character and I don’t know on ST fan that wants to see him just end up back with Nancy Wheeler like his entire character arc was just to “get the girl” and “have six kids.” Which he already has by the way.

Anyway, that’s just my two cents. I’m not advocating for anyone to ship them, I’m just saying it’s honestly a perfectly logical conclusion to make, especially if you CARE about Steve as a character, you know? We want him to be with someone genuine, someone who challenges him to be better, to be different than he was. Nancy couldn’t handle doing that. Robin could, but they’re platonic af.

So why wouldn’t it be Eddie?

Rest in peace, by the way. You would’ve loved this text post.

[w1n3bunny]

chat can u infodump abt phinjeet im intreuged <- hasnt watched pnf but probably should

* UR GIVING ME A FREE PASS TO TALK ABOUT THOZE FREAKZ TOBY ?!??!! I OWE U MY LIFE (sorry this took a while to answer i need time to gather and properly express my thoughtz GAH (also excuze the poor quality of my screenshotz im on a budget))

* this iznt going to be coherent but HERE WE GO

* so a big part of what compelz me about their dynamic iz the fact that theyre essentially on the same level/wavelength , while ofc phineas iz more adventurous and baljeet iz more anxious , theyre equally intelligent (NEEEERRRRDDZZ) and can speak the same nerdy language and truly listen to each other (smth i cant alwayz say for their more popular pairingz with other characterz WGAT WHO SAID THAT WHO SAID THAT)

* i lov when theyre in sync !!!!! i lov when they get each other !!!!!!!! they sincerely care about each otherz interestz becauze they hav Shared interestz !!!!!!!!!!!!

* they hav a shared interest in sci-fi , theyre both big fanz of an in-universe show called space adventure n therez an episode where they go to a sci-fi convention in space adventure cozplay , tho baljeet iz shown to hav a more Persistent interest in it . in candace against the universe he repeatedly triez to uze thingz that happen in space adventure az solutionz to the gangz space related problemz , even against hiz own better judgement and understanding of science , somtimez veering into just straight up infodumping territory . this pretty much alwayz endz poorly lol , ig hyperfixation beatz logic . mood

* (HEZ LITERALLY ME)

* at the end phineas makez hiz own space adventure suggestion , and thatz the only one that actually workz out . SAD !

* they also both lov math n science specifically ! phineas channelz hiz passion into crazy projectz and inventionz while baljeet moreso lovez math itself , and therez an episode where phineas iz shown uploading blueprintz to hiz n ferbz website so baljeet can check the math , which he doez very quickly and then sendz over the updated verzion , and although we only see this once it impliez to me that this iz a regular occurrence to the point where theyve got it down like a routine I JUST THINK THATZ CUTE !!!!! lookit theze nerdz <3333

* i see them az stabilizing forcez to each other , when baljeet iz freaking the hell out about smth phineas can help him look on the brighter side n realize itz not that big of a deal , or assure him thingz will work out . when phineas iz bouncing off the wallz and not thinking very far ahead baljeet can bring him back down to earth and challenge hiz leadership in a way the otherz dont often do , or correct hiz mistakez if need be

* and becauze of the way phin needz jeet to check over hiz math , and the way he misspellz time machine az tie machine in “its about time” , i like to hc phineas like . iznt necessarily Bad at spelling or typing , but iz very prone to making obvious mistakez in hiz haste , so itz great that he haz a nerd friend whoz happy to review hiz work n catch thoze for him YAY

* a similar phin hc i hav iz that , cuz of how hard he hyperfocusez on building stuff , hez constantly getting bruizez n scrapez that he doeznt even notice cuz hez too In The Zone . he could be leaving a trail of blood and would hav no idea LOL till someone pullz him aside to point it out (just adhd thingz <3 hez literally me) . everyone else startz carrying bandaidz for hiz sake . baljeet uzez blue onez , which iz why i pretty much alwayz try to draw phin (at least younger phin) with a blue bandaid on hiz hand . im makin it gay , it symbolizez jeet being there for him when hez hurt ..... hand holding ........... hehehehehehe

* i also somtimez draw jeet with a yellow bandaid on hiz noze for similarly gay reazonz . muahahaha

* at the start of "cranius maximus" baljeet freakz out becauze he feelz like hez getting dumber the more he hangz out with phineas and ferb since he iznt studying 24/7 anymore , even tho id argue the experience he gainz through their adventurez iz just az valuable , but i think itz a fun point since itz kinda noticeable how much more actively baljeet seemz to engage in the backyard gangz activitiez az the show goez on

* it most likely waznt an intentional Story Decizion for jeet to start changing hiz mind about the importance of hiz studiez after s1 , but i wouldve liked if it waz actually treated az like . a change , an arc of sortz . like at the start of the summer hez super focused on school and not interested in pnfz projectz , but az he keepz incidentally landing in their orbit n finding thingz they hav in common he gradually becomez part of the gang

* that half-made-up early summer baljeet probably wouldve been completely content sitting around n studying for hiz summer school classez all day , but here he iz coming to phineas and ferb with hiz “boring” activity , not even directly Asking them to make it more fun , just hoping and trusting that they Will . smth about that getz me idk . he likez playing with spinning topz , but now maybe smth about hiz change in routine haz made them a bit dull , and he trustz that pnf will figure out smth more exciting (and dangerous lol) to make of them . also just . how much they clearly like each other and enjoy being in each otherz company THATZ CUUUUUTE

* and OFC phinjeet wouldnt be phinjeet without "the baljeatles" (I ALWAYZ WRITE IT AZ PHINJEATLEZ IM COOKED) , one of my favorite episodez , in which pnf try to teach baljeet how to rock tm since hez accidentally signed up for a rock n roll camp n iz terrified of getting a bad grade . SUCH A GOOD EPISODE which so many of my phinjeet hcz hinge on , becauze THEY WERE IN LLIKE ?!?!?!?!?!? A PUNK ROCK BAND TOGETHER ?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! EMOZ ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! /J

* THERE WAZ NO REAZON TO PUT UR ARM AROUND HIM LIKE THAT DAWG I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE . i hc it waz at this very concert that phineas had a gay awakening LOOOL . for the entire episode up till the concert jeet haz been very anxious and uncertain becauze he just doeznt know how to Rock , he doeznt Want to stick it to the man , he doeznt want to break the rulez , but now suddenly he walkz out on stage az a completely different , angry and confident person . i can just vividly picture phin freezing up and forgetting hez suppozed to be doing backup vocalz n stuff n ferb haz to like nudge him and remind him hez on stage . dumbass

* and despite all their wholesomeness theyre not above picking on each other (lightheartedly), which iz also extremely important . somtimez itz one-sided since jeet tendz to be the more petty n snarky one , but yk

* i think therez just . so many little thingz like that that make them such a compelling dynamic to me , n not even necessarily in a ship way , theyre just cute wholesome friendz who like each other !!!! and i think theyre both aro anyway , alloz could never understand phinjeet . thatz a qpr🫵 .

* theyre two nerdz who like sci-fi and space and math . they are sun and moon coded . they are puppy and kitty coded . they are a team that cannot be beaten ("they were also referring to ferb there-" this aint about him/silly) they respect each other and help each other whenever they can . phineas haz a little device that receivez holographic messagez from baljeet whenever he needz help (in One episode but SHH SHHHH) . after candace getz abducted by alienz in candace against the universe baljeet iz the first person they turn to n hez immediately like “i assume you will need me to build another portal” like he just Knowz . and hez fully on board , no questionz asked

* theyre also super autistic !!!!!!! they both hav episodez where they freak out over a change of planz (in "bubble boys" baljeet triez to take phineas' advice to "seize the day" very literally , by planning out every single second of hiz day and then freakz out when hiz schedule iz disrupted . in "bully bromance breakup" jeet forbidz the use of technology az the gang climb a mountain and phin lozez hiz mind , desperately suggesting ideaz for inventionz n gadgetz to the point where he stopz climbing n iz being pulled along by everyone else while curled up into a ball) , they both hav som trouble understanding tone and social cuez , they both infodump and stim , etc

* imagine: they are stargazing together and infodumping to each other about space . they are huddled up on a couch watching a space adventure marathon and eating popcorn , talking to each other for hourz . phin iz hovering over jeetz shoulder az jeet checkz hiz math on a blueprint . they are doing each otherz emo ass make-up and singing together . they are talking about beez and spiderz . they are dyeing each otherz hair . they are drinking cappuccinoz . they are bickering lovingly .

* now lemme yap rq about the aro thing cuz im aro and itz super important to me:

* phineas iz the one whoz more obviously aro coded , most notably cuz of how he never pickz up on any of izabellaz advancez and remainz completely clueless about her feelingz for him , but smth specific that getz me iz the way he talkz about romance in “that sinking feeling” . baljeet freakz out about hiz childhood friend being Pretty now , he wordz it weird like “now she is … a girl !!!” but hez like ten and itz 2009 dw about it

* the point iz , phineas iz like “oh i think what girls really like is romance , we learned all about it in this movie we watched !” . the movie waz titanic , and phineas doeznt think of romance az a feeling or an experience , but az an arbitrary list of itemz from a movie . he thinkz classical muzic , roze petalz , a cruize ship . the ship startz FUCKING SINKING and everyonez panicking and hez like “wow ! is this romance or what !” little guy haz NOOOO idea what the hell romance iz and hez trying hiz best but LOL .

* meanwhile baljeet strikez me az an aro who (in contrast to phineas) iz hyperaware of the amatonormative society around him and feelz obligated to try and fit into it and be “Normal” . he feelz a lot of aesthetic attraction , and partly cuz of PHINEAS’ confuzion about romance , he equatez it to romantic attraction

* he haz like four “love interestz” if u wanna call them that , but theyre mostly pretty shallow or underdeveloped relationship-wize , which i interpret az jeet having Chozen to hav crushez on thoze ppl , misinterpreting platonic and aesthetic attraction , looking at a person like a checklist of dezirable traitz , or just being eazily influenced and pushed into romantic relationshipz becauze of everything else combined with hiz desperation to be “normal”

* how i see their relationship developing iz later in their teenz they get together thinking itz romantic , baljeet finally feelz “fixed” and phineas feelz like he finally Getz It , but the way the ppl around them perceive their relationship , the way they themselvez only want it to be like “super close friends who kiss sometimes” , and the expectationz that are put on them to do/be More etc , make them question whether their feelingz are genuine . then somwhere down the line they (separately) realize theyre aro and that their feelingz for each other are actually queerplatonic and kind of both loze their mindz over it (im projecting my own aro experience here , when i first realized i waz aro i had a sorta-gf n i waz terrified that i wouldnt be able to lov her the “right” way or that i waz leading her on , so thatz also what i imagine going through their headz) . till they try to confess this to each other n realize there waz nothing to worry about cuz they were actually already on the same page n then theyre happy silly qppz forever the end

* az much az i like to make shit up n torture theze two to make them more fucked up than they should be , theyre really just . sweet and inoffensive . theyre buddiez . theyre palz . theyre a team . theyre everything to me and they make me phyzically ill somtimez

* herez som drawingz ! az a gift <3

* this iz certainly not ALL i can say about phinjeet , BUT IM SO TIRED AND THIS POST CANT GO ON FOREVER . so thatz it for neow peace and love <3333

[creepedverse]

We need talbin lore dump so fuckin badd

I GOTCHUUUU. Heres the entire TalBin Lore. INSANELY LONG POST WARNING LMAOOO. Also for future reference, anything Talbin related that isnt directly relevant to Creepedverse/Farnbury plot shit should be asked on my main account @necroromantics so we dont flood the Creepedverse account with irrelevant stuff

-They met in high school (they were 16yrs old), in a shitty small town in North Dakota. They first encountered each other in the office in the first week of school; Tobin was in trouble for talking back to a teacher, and Tali was there for a course change. The two stubborn piece of shit trashy kids just sat there glaring at each other cuz neither of them knew how to back down LMAO

-Then they found out they shared an English class. Last period. They sat right next to each other.

-I dont know if yall know this, but Tobin was practically illiterate back in high school, due to him being in and out of school his entire life he was very behind on education. He was horrible at even basic math, spelling, reading. So he struggled a LOT in his English class to the point he dropped out again, only to go back a month later after his grandma pushed him, and told him to find a tutor

-He noticed early on that despite being countrygirl trailer trash, loud-mouthed and rude, Tali was pretty well-read. She kept to herself a lot, didnt really have any friends or got on with anyone, so it was mostly the grades she got back that made Tobin decide she was gonna be his tutor. Plus, he already had an interest in the challenge of befriending her anyways

-It took him a fuck ton of harassment and being an all around annoying nuisance in order to finally get Tali to cave and agree to tutor him. At her place after school every Wednesday, he has to pay up in cigarettes and $20 first. This arrangement of theirs was how they got to know each other properly in the first place

-At first it was Tali and Tobin sitting across this old wooden dining room table of hers, her father worked on the road so he was never home. She started off just getting frustrated with Tobins arguing and stupidity, theyd sorta just bicker and fight with each other over him not focusing, or listening, or understanding. He didn't know half the shit that was being asked of him, and he didn't know how to take it seriously

-It was when he talked back to her asking how the fuck he doesn't know what "coincidence" meant, he told her "Fuck I dunno, I was barely in school", and it finally clicked for Tali that he wasnt stupid, he really wasn't, he just had a bad start.

-So she went to the library and picked out low reading level books, and next Wednesday, she had him pick one out, and they read together. After that, Tali would start to really listen to the way that boy talked about things, like taking apart bikes and putting them back together, or the logistics of buying/weighing/flipping weed for profit, street smarts, people smarts

-And they started arguing less, and laughing together more. Theyd talk to each other in the hallways, and even had each others numbers. They became friends, though neither of them would admit it.

-Soon, Tobin would start coming over on days other than Wednesday, just for a place to crash. He never really wanted to be home, and Tali never really asked him why. She didn't mind having him over, in all honesty she started to enjoy it, and Tobin would always consider her place a safe space of sorts, someone he could rely on, somewhere to get away from shit.

-Eventually, he started spending the night there too whenever he got kicked out, or ran away. Tali would always let him in. Eventually, she trusted him enough to sleep in her bed, after he got her home after a party they drank too much at. Now for context, in highschool, Tali had a false reputation of being an absolute whore. Like rumours from girls who hated her, or guys she'd hurt the ego of, saying she'd sleep around, or that she was easy, or that she'd get drunk and sleep with a bunch of guys. Easy humiliation, and neither Tali nor Tobin listened to the rumours. So knowing that this boy, who she almost considered her best friend, would go out of his way to make sure she got home safe, the same way she'd make sure he'd get away from his home safe. She really did start to trust him, and he never broke it, and he trusted her too

-Tobin liked Tali a lot, sure, but he was never interested in anything more. Partially because he knew if he caught feelings for a girl who threatened him if he ever caught feelings, itd be over. He was perfectly fine keeping shit strictly platonic, even when they layed together, or when they started to hold hands.

-Even when she asked him if he's ever kissed someone before, and he said no, and she asked him if he wanted to. And he said no.... LMAO. He thought it was a test or something. He was sitting on her bed like FUUUUUCKFUCCK but its ok Tobin grew a pair and kissed her and they still kept things... Platonic... But... Theyd very much treat each other like a couple yknow. But they were both waaayy too prideful to admit it was anything beyond just being close friends

-But eventually Tobin would start coming to her place drunk, high, or both, more often than not. He'd show up every Wednesday like always, but he'd end up falling asleep at the table, or be so fucked up with booze and pills that he was practically unresponsive anyways. For awhile, Tali didn't care to, or want to, be on his ass about it. She let him sleep, she let him come to her whenever he needed

-It became a problem when they started really, genuinely fighting. They would have petty arguments or banter or piss each other off all the time, but they never actually fought in ways that hurt that much. Tali would say things that hurt his ego, and Tobin would try to tear her down. Theyd start yelling at each other, insulting each other. They were fucked up kids who lived fucked up lives going through fucked up things. And all they really knew was how to hurt each other, and then pretend like nothing happened cuz they couldnt lose each other no matter how hard they tried

-Tali eventually banned Tobin from coming around her when he was fucked up, and he listened. He came around a lot less, even missing Wednesday tutor nights sometimes, but he never fully left yknow. On the days he'd show up at school, he'd be trying to make up to Tali for pissing her off last night, or bugging her to get her to laugh at one of his shitty jokes. And she'd let him in every time. In all honesty, she couldn't ever really truly hate him

-It was Tobin who realized he caught feelings first, they were sitting on her bed and she laughed and water came out of her nose, and she laughed harder, and Tobin couldnt even laugh too cuz he was just sitting there feeling that heavy fondness in his chest, he couldnt do anything but stare at her and smile at how beautiful she was. And the moment the word "love" came into his head he was immediately like OH FUCK. It was something he immediately shoved alllll the fucking way down. He couldnt imagine her ever actually liking him back, or agreeing to be his. Tali was always very very vocal about her independence, how she would never be anyones but hers, how she hated guys, she hated the idea of romance, she hated cliches. And he was fine with that, he was fine with just being her best friend.

-Tali ended up realizing she had feelings for him after the most torturous month or so of him pulling away from her, and getting heavy into drugs/drinking again. He ended up getting into a fight with his dad, and he was fucked up on pills again, but he stumbled to her place at night, he didnt know where else to go. Despite her rules, she let him in. And he didnt fight, or argue, she just let him wash up, and climb into bed with her. Tali realized that she really would do anything for him, and just how much she cared for him. She wanted him to always choose to come to her, she wanted to listen to him ramble, and she liked him sober more than anything

-It was Tobin who said "I love you" first. And Tali slapped the shit out of him LMAOOO Cuz they were having a really bad fight and he said it sorta as a last ditch effort and she was like Do NOT fuckin' say that to me!!!! And he was like FUCK WHATEVER And then he kept going. And Tali realized like Oh shit he actually loves me hes not just fucking with me Lmao. Yada yada they hugged and made up

-They started dating about a year after they met, and it was literally a result of Tobin harassing her into saying yes. He was so fucking annoying about it Tali was just like FUCK FINE! WHATEVER! And their first date was sparring. They just met up. And beat the fuck outta each other. Cuz Tobin knew she hated cliches and loved MMA so fuck it why not

-Then about half a year after they started dating, Tali called Tobin to tell him she accidentally killed her brother. So Tobin did the logical thing. And blew his dads brains out with a shotgun. And they took Tali's dads truck and ditched town. They were 17 at this point, almost 18.

-They ended up in Louisiana after this, crashing in motels and shelters or really wherever. Literally all they had left was each other, and Tobin made a promise he'd never leave Tali. It was them against the world. They got promise rings around this period too, Tobin has the sun, Tali has the moon. Tali also got her snakebite piercings here too

-Eventually Tobin got enough cash selling drugs, and eventually guns/things he stole/etc, and Tali would job hop trying to make whatever she could to get by. They had to stay on the downlow as much as possible though. But they got a cheap, sketchy, small apartment together and lived in the city for awhile. This is when they went from being dumb kids with stupid issues, to adults with really heavy shit on their plates

-But it was always them together. They'd have really fucking brutal fights, even worse than in high school. Theyd scream so loud at each other, Tali would storm out, Tobin would break shit, Tali would throw plates at him. They got to a point where it was almost always fighting, breaking up, making up, tearing each other down, hurting each other. Tobin got really involved with the drug/crime scene in the city, befriending this other junkie named Skinner. They were real close for awhile, and Skinner practically taught Tobin all the ropes of arms and narcotics dealing. Tobin got into serious shit, and was making serious money

-And it put a serious strain on his relationship with Tali, especially when he started to get more and more afraid of committing to her. And so they broke up, and Tali kicked Tobin out, and he stayed with Skinner, and it just wasnt them against the world anymore. And my god did it hurt

-They completely cut contact, this time they were both sure they finally were done for good. Tobin wouldnt be sober for even a day, always drinking or getting high, fucking around with some girl he knew cuz they both wanted a rebound, but never being able to take it seriously or really do anything cuz god he just missed Tali so much, and he learned so quickly that nobody compares

-Tali spent her time waitressing at a small diner she was pretty sure was a laundering scheme but didnt give a fuck to think about it. She didnt talk to anyone, she just held her breath every day trying not to grieve. And she'd try not to break into tears at night when she realized her boy wouldnt come home and crawl into bed with her. She missed him so much, every day, for that month and a bit.

-And then Tobin found himself in some sketchy apartment, so fucked up on downers he couldn't even think, and he didnt even realize that Skinner had overdosed and died right there by him. He didnt call 911 in time, and when the paramedics arrived, he called the one person he knew he could rely on. Tobin was even too fucked up to realize what he had done, until he saw Tali pull up to the curb he was sitting on, and get out of the car, and sat next to him

-The ride back to their apartment was quiet. Everything for Tobin was slow, buzzing, and silent. And Tali was just happy he was safe. She got him into the house, and he didnt say a word as he laid down with her in bed, and she kissed the top of his head, and he quietly muttered that he loved her, and he missed her, and he needed her. And she whispered that she loved and missed him too, and they fell asleep.

-She let him sleep in that morning and when he woke up he didnt tell her what happened, and she didnt ask. He just hugged her, and she hugged him back. And from that point on they got back together and Tobin cut back on his drug use, and they agreed to ditch the city and start fresh somewhere else

-During that transition period from Louisiana and to Farnbury, about a month or so, Tobin and Tali were very dedicated to making it work between them. They knew just how fucking badly it hurt when they left, they knew how good it felt to be back together, they knew that nobody else compared, that it was always just going to be them. They were best friends, partners in crime, it was them against the world. Theyd be patient with each other, they'd communicate, theyd love each other without any restraint. Tobin would work so hard to make sure his girl knew she was loved, to make sure she knew he'd always come home to her when he went out. And Tali would always defend him, have his back, be there when the world would turn its back on him.

-They werent those dumb reckless kids that were best friends in highschool anymore, but they still had each other. And they would for the rest of their lives. Happily ever after fr.

[bulbabutt]

just wanna get some thoughts out about april o'neil (mainly to hype up why i enjoy her in 87) so this is an analysis of writing her in each generation of shows.

1987 april o'neil is a character who i think has more agency than most of her counterparts, and i think it lies in the choice to make her a reporter.

i can understand where the negative sentiment about changing her career from scientist comes from, but hear me out. if we understand that the turtles as characters just kind of fall into plots, whether they have a history with it or not, it lets us understand that april is here because she's a key in the story.

so originally her story is that shes the assistant of baxter stockman, and he sets a trap to kill her, leaving her to be killed by mousers and saved by the turtles, but after that her life outside of anything turtle related is kind of... non existent. dont get me wrong, being an adult woman who takes in a bunch of teenage turtles makes her anything but boring, but in that concept (and other adaptations since then) we dont get a feel for what she could be doing if she wasnt around the turtles.

in 87 april her job as a reporter is central to the premise. she is the human they hang out with, and she has a day job, so her life becomes the turtles lives. the other humans in her life become the other humans in the turtles lives.

we have her boss Burn Thompson, who’s your typical J Jonah Jameson ‘get me a story on those mutant menace turtles’, giving her that classic Peter Parker role. he often tries to get her to do more feminine stories, which she always has to fight back against.

we also get her rival reporter and occasional camera man Vernon Fenwick, always trying to prove he’s better than her at their job, always trying to steal whatever story she’s on, always failing and proving that he is not as capable or brave as she is.

and we get the secretary and her best friend Irma, who contrasts to her character very well by being the more dorky and lovesick comedic counterpart to her assertive independent serious character. you fully believe these two women are friends in that workplace way, its very real.

certain aspects of these news room dynamics are great, like how despite all the turtle coms looking like radios, we give april one that looks like a compact mirror. why? because if she hears news of something the turtles should check out, when she calls them she gets to just look like shes checking her makeup. she gets to use the workplace sexism to her advantage.

another aspect is, why do the turtles have to save april? is it cuz people always kidnap her? no, its because she gets herself into trouble. shes always looking for a big story, shes not afraid of the bad guys. she goes looking for danger because shes a very capable person, and her becoming the big sister to the turtles, or maybe cool single aunt, feels very natural.

i love her, i love that she's kind of a loser with only work friends, that she doesnt date much cuz shes kind of a weirdo, i love that if she's not with the turtles we can imagine what she's up to. she feels very real, and she's not a character who could be replaced by an object, her life is central to that show. and i love that they dont need to make her a fighter or anything to do that, and its surprising coming from the oldest show.

so to go into the next two cartoons and this is not to dig on 03 or 12 as characters, but in both cases the writers dont really give us much perspective on what her life is or was outside of the guys.

in 03s case, shes that same comic april i mentioned earlier. but we know a lot more about casey in this show than we do her. we know she has the antique shop, and thats where she is, but who does she talk to? does she have friends? she has casey, but she knows him because the turtles know him.

in back story, we can assume her parents died, and we know her uncle went missing, and that the episode they found him we see she has a sister who's never come up before. but neither of those characters show up again after that. not even at her wedding. we see everyone in the turtles lives, we see everyone in casey's life (even his shitty cousin) but aprils family isnt there. so who is she she if she isnt around the guys? i guess she sells antiques. but does she have a life outside of that building? we also know she's a scientist, shes as smart as donnie, but where does she use that skill with computers outside of helping the turtles?

like shes still that same loser adult woman hanging out with turtles, this time shes taken up ninja training from splinter, and we know in the future shes going to found a tech company, but that feels more like flowery language about her, as opposed to getting to see her be someone interesting on her own.

and then in 12s case she's the only april i know who fails the sexy lamp test upon debut. shes kidnapped and the only reason the turtles go rescue her is because donnie thinks shes pretty. sure, we could say its because shes a person in need, but we all know that upon introduction she is love interest first, character second (as are.... most all of the women in that show). from that point, we know she has her dad, and unlike in the previous versions (including comics and movies) its april who has to stay with the turtles for a while, not the other way around. which on its own would be fine, but shes always sort of there. whats she up to? does she have her own interests? like in 03 when shes staying with the turtles for a bit after her shop blows up, we see she's butting heads with them a bit. same as when they stayed with her. but here she kind of just takes on whatever the turtles do, whatever they watch or are interested in. they also make her special. shes here because shes different. thats not bad on its own, but it means that she very much could be anyone, shes here not by her own choices leading her here, but because the plot is thrust upon her, not the turtles, as it has been in all other iterations.

this kind of comes to a head with the introduction of casey and irma into that show. on the surface you'd think, well there we go, she has human friends, those are hers and not the turtles friends, but they never properly introduce her or us to irma. they show irma calling her in one episode (and shes labeled 'weird-girl', so whats the story there?) and then when we meet her properly its so she can be a third body in the introduction of casey jones. the running gag of this is basically whenever april isnt around the turtles now, she's with casey and sometimes casey and irma, but we never understand why. and then youd think, well thats cool if april is who becomes friends with casey, and then casey is in the turtles lives because of her, but he actually just ends up following raphael home. they do make a point of making it so he's accepted because she's there, but he's never implied to be her friend more than the turtles'.

she invites irma along to a date with casey, neither irma or casey understanding why. is it because she doesnt want to date casey? maybe. but the writers never make her intentions clear to the audience, we're left speculating. irma comes up a few times more, always in more or less the same context, and often asking who are the mysterious friends you have besides me. i truly wish we could have seen any moments of why these two are friends, how these two are friends, what they do when april isnt with the turtles, before they pull the rug out from under us and show that irma? yeah she was actually a krang all along. and she was only here to get to the turtles. and it never seems to bother april much, besides the one outburst when it happens. to me it feels like she should at least... grieve this friend? that would be traumatizing. your only friend in your own world was never real.

i like that the farm house gets to belong to april again, as opposed to being casey's family farm, so that gives her something. but then we understand why when we're introduced to her mom. we think. a real kicker here is uh. we dont even know her moms name? she's just..... mrs o'neil. because she didnt really matter, she wasnt real. like her dad got a name (because reference), why cant her mom even have a name? a thing that bothers me here is, ok we know her dad kept getting kidnapped, or mutated, or became so traumatized that he never left the house, but we never even get that kind of basic family aspect to the first teenage april. the turtles, for better or worse, are her family in this show. thats her real support system. and its frustrating because two of the characters here just oggle her. whether its an episode where april could have a crush on donnie or casey back or not, the fact she's got no support or someone to talk to about it from someone outside of those characters brothers really sucks for her agency in this story. we never get to grasp how she feels about any of it. which is why i think those romances give people the ick, theyre things that could work if the show ever cared to tell us how april feels.

and then by the end she gets to be a kunoichi with telekinesis, a thing she got into because of the turtles, and a thing she just got to be because genetically shes special. i wish this april got to be a character who had things of her own that she could choose to be. like, she still lives above that same antique store from 03, maybe she could have had a family history there like 03, but even something simple as that is just an in name only reference. theres no part of her that feels like she chose to be it, or that there's anything about her life that isn't directly related to the turtles.

now we get to rise. and honstly, rise april is a breath of fresh air. she is a teen like the previous april, but shes also just as willing to get herself into danger by her own choices as 87. shes a fighter like 03 and 12, and unlike every other version, shes just here. we dont need to know how she got here, she's part of this family and you believe it.

we have our big sister april who's not only a loser who hangs out with turtles, but she's a complete weird magnet. she's overly excitable, very willing to get into fights, who has a strong sense of justice and getting into trouble to fix it. this series is more episodic like 87, so to just get the jist, episode one. april needs rescuing because why? she threw herself into a mystic portal to save a random creature. thats what sets the turtles off on their mystic adventure in the first place. because she put herself in harms way. and when they go to rescue her, shes actually fine. she finds them a place to get new weapons, she's the first one to run in and try to attack the villain. none of the guys ever coddle her or say "oh there goes april we have to rescue her", this time we have an april who is a fully capable fighter from the get go.

we see her school life, she doesnt have any friends besides a random guy who has a crush on her, and shes desperate to fit in. then we get sunita. we see exactly why these two are friends. it starts with april thinking shes found a normal kid at school, trying to prove to the guys she can be a normal teenager who doesnt need their weirdness, but as it turns out sunita is a yokai. shes from that same mystic world, but she didnt come into april's life because of the turtles, she came into her life because they like each other. they're just two weird girls who hang out, they like laser tag and rock shows, and we fully believe they are friends.

another aspect to her is her jobs, she's like jonesy from 6teen. she gets new jobs basically weekly, sometimes hijinks ensue, leading the turtles to an event unfolding around her, and keeps getting into trouble and getting fired, but this leaves her with a plethora of skills (and keys to random buildings or machinery good for you for not giving those back, respect).

then we also get to see an entire episode where the turtles dont appear, because its about her. we see her passion for helping the world, we see her disbelief in herself, and her ability to pick herself up. theres a moment where you think splinter is going to need to give her a pep talk, but she ignores him. she's got herself. she doesn't need to rely on the guys or splinter for her confidence, shes capable on her own.

then i think my favorite aspect here is about the finale, where we get this touching moment between her and karai where she doubts her place in the family, lamenting that she's not one of them. and its not one of the guys who tells her she is, it's karai. its another woman in this story. its the woman who's history this story has been leading up to, affirming april's part in her story. in their families story. and she gifts april her spirit. which leads her to go finding ,and in a way rescuing them, from their despair.

this april is a fully realized character, with a real place in the story. you never doubt it, but even if she wasn't you know exactly who she'd be without them. she's her own fully rounded character, and i love her so much. theres a reason people say she's definitively the best april, i wish we got to see more of her, i know we were supposed to get more, just like with everything from rise. but im glad she got to shine here.

so this is kind of why in terms of writing april, i think its interesting that the most agency we get for her, in my perspective, comes from the newest and oldest show.

basically to summarize and reiterate, all april's are good april's, some writers just care more to show us who she is than others.

also I’m ONLY talking about April’s writing here, not the rest of the show

[tearsucry]

I need some stepsister Anika fluff or smut or both tbh cuz I love her so much. she's so cute :(

— °˖ ⊹ ꒰ ⚙️ ꒱ the happy ending ; anika kayoko (scream vi)

#.                   you parents’ marriage is falling apart, despite not wanting to sound malicious you can’t help but be relieved since that meant you and anika could finally be together without people handling the two of you like outcasts

content warning;           MDNI, sfw and dark content but no sexually explicit content, female bodied reader, stepsister! anika, step-cest, reader and anika are not actually blood related, sappy little drabble,

a/n.               I didn’t exactly knew what to do, but my best guess here was that “finding the good in bad”? well who knows really, I should- despite the confusion, please enjoy !!!

it was a sweet, calm, and a never-ending dream to be in love with anika despite how your relationship first started out. the process of becoming a fake family at first where your mother and her father fell in love and married each other, the two of you were still young, but not young enough to understand that your mom was replacing your dad and her dad replacing her mom.

“you know what got me thinking?” she says out of the blue, her hand still in your hair, scratching your scalp before sneaking down your neck and giving a gentle squeeze to your shoulder and collar bones, almost as if she was giving you a massage. you look up at her, watching her eyes sparkle as she keeps her gaze on the tv in front of the two of you.

“what did?” you ask back with a small smile, shifting your place between her legs and moving your head on her chest so you can keep looking at her without your neck hurting. she lets out a breathy laugh, almost as if what she is about to say she herself doesn’t believe in.

“they are divorcing, dad and your mom… just can’t believe we might just be finally left alone.” it certainly wasn’t the nicest thing to say considering that it implied anika wanted her father to be sad and alone, but you couldn’t help but agree with her.

the two of you were real head turners on campus after some ass hat ranted about how the two of you were having the time of your life, making out and having sex while your parents were married. it wasn’t like he didn’t know you weren’t blood related, that despite growing up next to each other the two of you never felt the “sibling connection” as others might- it always been a friendship that turned into something more.

you shake your head a little, turning onto your stomach and push yourself up on your knees, your hands resting on the armrest of the couch to keep you up. you take another minute before answering, pushing some hair out of her face and sighing.

“it is a bit annoying, but I don’t mind as long as you don’t wanna break up with me over it,” you take a second to admire her, to think back to that one kiss that changed it all, that one time that has set it into stone that the two of you were destined to be with one another before continuing. “there is nothing that can stop us.”

“I mean certainly there was but none of us said no to it, that’s the truth.” she corrects you paired with a cheeky smile. “I hate how smart you are sometimes.” you roll your eyes as you think it through.

“the happy ending, we deserve.” she says before leaning forward and locking your lips with her, the hand resting next to her side grabbed onto the sleeve of your shirt, pulling you closer. there is barely space between the two of you, the way it has always been since you accepted that loving each other isn’t a crime against anyone and it won’t be when your parents finally settle the matter between each other.

[urfavnegronerd]

percy jackson brain-rot as i begin the books again

as someone whos hopelessly devoted to the workings of rick riordon i absolutely never understood percabeth

like,

they're literally 12, children, CANNOT LEGALLY DRIVE OR CONSENT TO SEX at the end of the og series (chalice of the gods) and niggas really out here shipping the fuck outta them

shit dig hard enough on a03 and there's prolly smut of the two of em

never understood it, like i get a cute lil mutual pining thing where they both like each other but a whole ass ship never made sense. like no, the two don't make babies. why? CUZ THEYRE BABIES THEMSELVES

edit:

okay to clear things up cs people are in the comments saying i don't know what a ship is (i'm literally a fanfic writer on here but okay)

i'm just saying that these are literally little kids in middle school. i'm not saying that middle school kids don't have relationships, but it's still weird. and from, i'm boutta geek out about this incredibly obscure topic i'm sorry, a developmental standpoint middle grade children are nowhere near psychologically ready to be in a relationship which is why it's extremely rare to see couples who have been together since middle school (that one episode of abbott elementary). if you go on tiktok and look for people who broke up with someone they were in a relationship with from middle school- high school, those breakups are traumatic

all breakups are traumatic in some way, but there have been several people who have developed traits of borderline personality disorder because they broke up with someone they had been romantically involved with since middle school.

also let's not forget how warped your view on intimate relationships go (fucking. imma say it the way you think about fucking is skewed). the people i've spoken to who broke up with their middle school partner in their older parts of high school have recounted just how awful their view on sex was, some have even pondered if they were asexual because they couldn't picture themselves up under anyone else.

like i get it, it's cute to see little kids who like each other, but most of this fandom are of age to drive, to study for the SATS/gsces, some are able to legally drink in the united states, or applying to college. these are little baby children that high school students and young adults should not be playing match maker for. ALSO WALKER SCOBELL IS IN MIDDLE SCHOOL/ HIS FIRST YEAR IN HS HE WAS BORN IN 2009.

anyway,

i get it, we all have head canons, but shipping two middle schoolers who a) may or may not have started puberty b) did not stay at one school for too long c) don't know trig formulas d) may or may not have had their first period/ voice dropped/ you get the picture.

SO

i don't understand percabeth as a whole romantic ship, but mostly as a fluffy little middle school flirty thing (prolonged eye contact, stealing hats, asking if they can hug/kiss at a certain time, etc.)

i love love love the concept of seaweed brain and wise girl, smartwater, percabeth, whatever, I THINK THEY'RE ADORABLE but i don't understand the draw of why people feel the incessant need to make it extremely romantic. like why why whyyyyyyy. can we js let them be kids, because lets be real a lot of the newer additions to this fandom only know about the show (and its okay we love you guys anyway its just that some of us have read the books too, its not required for you to love the show that you need to read the books) and are already talking about 'annabeth and percy need to just kiss already' no they don't. cs percy just lost his mom (i know something you dooonttttttt) and our cutie patootie annabeth is still lowkey a mystery (i'm guessing?? idk i haven't watched the show yet i think im gonna pirate it soon or smth, im js assuming because idk what point the show is at in relation to the first book), etc. can we maybe not make them a whole ass ship until the show is in relation to the last few books of the series. lets js let them be kids for now.

AND THIS IS NOT TO SAY THAT I DIDN'T LIKE WHEN THEY WERE AN ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP IN THE LATER BOOKS OKAY ITS NOT TO SAY THAT im just saying that i didn't understand the concept of percabeth within the first few books because it was a little wonky to really really want two twelve year olds to be in a relationship. they're cute when its in the last few books but come on yall. lets not ship them yet. also report any smut you see of them that's not cool or rick riordon approved.

theyre still babies, even if some of the fandom has read all of the books and others didn't.

does this make sense?

xoxo,

rae <3

[heartshapedconchas]

okay..hi. i know i haven’t updated my fanfic in literal months, but that is NOT what is important right now.

first of all, what the hell is wrong with you all?? threatening black authors&readers and calling them slurs because they ask for more inclusiveness?? fuck all of you.

Second, im going to give my piece of mind with the whole situation that is happening. Mind you i am a high femme, brown lesbian who has been masculinized most of her life. Now, correct me if i’m wrong, but some people (mainly non white/black users) are calling out some white authors on centering their reader inserts on whiteness. I understand this , again as a brown woman, who has found it difficult since I began reading self insert fanfics at like..9 years old.

However.

Something that is.. bewildering to me that I’ve seen brought up in this conversation is how .. the readers being hyperfeminine and whatnot somehow… makes it not relatable to people of color, SPECIFICALLY women of color; because of the history of them being masculinized.

This is so incredibly confusing to me cuz again,,, for me as a very femme brown woman who has been nothing but masculinized her whole life … has never felt alienated by these femme characters. Ever. In fact they make me feel more included because god it feels good to be feminine and not have that denied, even in fanfics. From my perspective; if you feel as if these femme characters only represent white ones— are you not upholding the exact stereotype that has been given to women of color for years?

This is just my opinion though; you are free to believe whatever you believe in and express how you feel (without attacking and siccing your followers onto whoever you’re speaking on).

In my writing I will always try my best to make all woc/poc feel included. If at some point I’m not doing that, i’m trying to make my fellow brown women feel included (as even though there has been an influx of non white writings as of late, the majority I see are black readers).

To all the white writers out there, try and leave your descriptions of the reader to a minimum of exclusivity. While you don’t have to make your reader insert obviously a woman of color, don’t make them obviously a white women either.

Personally I think we should leave the race specific fanfics to the people of that race. Because what white woman is gonna write a brown latina fanfic the accurate way and in a way I would enjoy? Write your fanfics in a race neutral manner, and to all the writers of color out there — write your fanfics race specific if you want to!

To my fellow authors and readers of color, speak about your concerns of inclusivity in our community! You have the right to speak your mind. Just please, please do not speak about authors in an ill manner if they haven’t done anything horribly, absolutely wrong. Critique them. Give advice. They can only learn if you give them room to grow.

And for both parties, please for the love of god; don’t allow people to send r*pe threats or call them slurs. Regardless of your race or what “side” you are on, no one deserves that. Elskittie didn’t deserve it earlier on, MULTIPLE black authors/readers don’t deserve it now. Be kind , fucking respect each other. Be fucking mature enough to have conversations about this instead of childish fights.

Oh and one more thing, please absolutely just tell me if i’m misinterpreting something in this post at all! This is from my perspective as a brown woman of color. And also i’m 95% sure i’m autistic. I have a hard time understanding things sometimes and just need it put in simpler terms :) don’t be an asshole and just kindly explain! thank u! 💗

[alexissara]

THE Comics Of The Year 2023

I'm Alexis Sara, and if you don't know me then you should know I am an Eisner [among several other award] winning comics writer and I eventually kinda left behind comics because of a massive feeling of burn out and a lack of hope for the industry. However, I utterly adore the medium and I do enjoy comics still even if mostly in indie form or Manga. Manga of the year is a separate post since I just read more Manga and I wanted to talk about more comics overall so this section is all non manga stuff from Webcomics to graphic novels to single issue type deals, everything I read is up for consideration.

Extreme Venomverse #4 Necroko story 

This story makes me even more mad than I am every day about the state of the public domain. Stan Lee is dead, he doesn't need Spider-man money but Marvel will for many many many more years hoard the amazing ideas made by so many other people that relate to spider-man and even when Spider-man enters the public domain Disney will sue people for using any part of spider-man that doesn't come from the debut time and is still with in their copyright. So an amazing character like Nercroko is stuck at the whims of some editor to see if the creators can bring her back, for how long they can bring her back, they get to decide how gay she is allowed to be, how violent, if the story fits their brand image and if a random event has her erased from the timeline or something to fuel a mans pain or something. Which is to say fuck Marvel comics, don't buy their stuff but I read this story and it's really fucking good, 12/10 it's not really worth buying Extreme Venomverse cuz the other stories are mid but as fuck but this little short story if you could find it at retail value for a single issue of Venomverse #4 pick it up for sure. It's a venom magical girl who is gay, just great, perfect, brilliant, inspirational.

IDW Sonic 

You expect to see the sapphics from me and there here, for real, but I really enjoy this series in general. Whisper and Tangle are my main draw but I did enjoy Sonic video games a lot when I was younger so the characters, designs, etc are always something I just like seeing. The IDW comics bring a great consistent art style that makes the world of sonic feel very alive, stylish an cool. The new characters are all people I want to show up as playable in new sonic games and the story lines all feel like they would be exciting to see in a video game. These comics are really well done and while it could be more explicit in allowing it's original characters to be queer [I understand main game characters not being able to have romance to give the game devs space] it's still a good time.

Ladykillers

I love when the lesbians are on an adventure, when they are poly, when they are silly, and we got it all here. Ladykillers is a silly D&D inspired webcomic that has these cute little dumbasses go on quests and get into trouble. It starts pretty one shotty and eventually gets into a continuous narrative. If you loved Bauldr's Gate but wished it was just about like three homoerotic girls getting into silly trouble, this one is for you.

My Dragon Girlfriend

My Dragon Girlfriend every year is a top series for me. The release format of release makes each update a very small dose of a larger narrative but these little romances are all compelling and sweet and fun filled with silly little sapphics. While the newest couple added in is the one I am least compelled by I still enjoyed them. The art is really cute and sweet, the way emotion is portrayed is handled really well, Country really knows how to capture emotion within the medium and masters making good use out of all the little details.

Grand Slam Romance

I don't like sports but if lesbian magical girls played soft ball I would have to convert to being the number ones sports girly. The messy lesbian drama here is so good and the jokes are really great, when I grabbed this I kinda worried it be YA toned which typically doesn't sit well with me but luckily this is in fact adult fiction for adults that just has a strong sense of whimsy. It's a really great read and I hope a lot more people check it out because it's super good and even has a follow up book coming out.

SpellAstra

These lesbians have issues and I am so fucking here for it. We got a trio of queer witches casting spells, fighting monsters, etc who are all also teachers for a school of other witches. One of the party turns into a demon if her seal is broken which causes her to get all violent and feral, one has a magical artifact tied to a bigger play happening across the universes of the world and the final is holding secrets she doesn't want to share. From there their issues run into each other, they deal with new problems they cause, their love lives get complicated and we find out the truth of all the messy lesbian fun that is unleashed between them. The translation is sometimes a little wonky but if you can forgive a self published self translation to English for sometimes saying words a little wrong but still understandably then damn there just isn't really a story like SpellAstra I've read.

Mage & Demon Queen 

After following this series for so many years it finally finished. This action comedy yuri series is fucking amazing from start to finish a fun time with some of the best jokes across all of comics for nerdy little sapphics like me. I do think near the end of the series we spend too much time with the men of the cast who simply were not the draw for me at all but they got a lot of panel time but outside of that small preference so much of this series is so perfect it's hard to even fault the parts that are a little less great.

Pink Sugar 

What a fucking book, what a queer gift that this exists, that we live in a world where this is being released on webtoon [and a ton of other places] gives me hope for queer art and art in general. This story is lesbian in the deepest ways, with the diversity of lesbians that I want to see. Masc Non Binary Lesbians, bigger fem lesbians, trans lesbians, all falling in love with each other in these gloriously sweet ways. This series is truly queer in the most real sense. The presentation of the afterlife is innovative and fun. the comedy is great, the chemistry between all four of this polycule is great, the romantic moments are super sweet, the art's fantastic, the pacing is great and all of that lends to some really fucking heart breaking moments to as we get into the deep feelings of these dead women. This is one of the best stories being told right now and maybe ever. I love Pink Sugar, I beg of you to check it out. It's currently kickstarting a physical version if your reading this near release of this post then you should go back it. You can read it for free, if you like it, back it.

If you want to help me enjoy more art then consider checking out my Patreon or Ko-fi and giving me a little bit of cash so I can do more of this kind of writing but also like make lots of my own art, art is hard to make and costs money and like maintain my chronically ill and trans body also takes money so anything helps, thank you. If you want more details on any of these I do have reviews for many of the pieces of art above but you can also let me know you want more and maybe I'll write more.

[wheeboo]

Talk about your moots; what do you like most about them (could be a paragraph or a single sentence, spread the love!!)

omgomg okay lets do this guys. just know i luv every single one of you and without any of you i would not be where i am rn today!! i'm sorry if u were not included its prob bcuz we haven't interacted much yet but i also suck at communicating lmaosdjfldjkkfds i really do not deserve any of you istg

@ylliris-hanniehae - ylli is so sweet n comforting :(( like she's been with me since almost the beginning of me posting on tumblr here and she's been so supportive ever since!! i love the conversations that we have together and she really feels like a little sister to me!! she deserves all the happiness in the world fr

@fairyhaos - yena was the first person i asked to be moots with on here LOL and i remember being like "omfg should i send the ask should i send it" and well i don't regret it one bit!! she's so bubbly and sweet and i will never not say this- she always puts on smile on my face as well as everyone elses!! her fics are also soo comforting and so creative i love it sm

@etherealyoungk - skye is SOO lovely like i remember the moment she liked my mingyu fic and me freaking out like I RECOGNISE THAT NAME RIGHT THERE and i dont regret asking to be moots with her!! i love when she checks in with not just me but everyone else around her she's just so sweet n caring :(( i also love when we randomly scream abt different dramas together lmaoo

@slytherinshua - zanna and i just clicked like a snap the moment we started talking and istg she's so entertaining and funny like there's never a dull moment talking to her!! i love screaming about park jihoon and kdramas w her!! she’s also introduced to so many new groups i’m grateful for that. i also adore our late night music sessions and when we watch dramas together and cry and laugh and just everything

@mirxzii - roxie deserves all the happiness n love and she's so supportive n so silly too !! also i think she's soo relatable w some of the stuff she has said lmaoo it's so goofy and she's also been with me since the very beginning and i very much thank her for that

@rubywonu - nia i miss her so much she's been busy w school so we haven't been able to talk a lot so everyone SEND LOVE TO HER RN. i remember silently gushing abt the love series she made with svt members and being moots and getting to know her i see she's so sweet n chill but ik she got that lil chaotic side to her

@icyminghao - noelle every time i interact w her i just have this giddy smile on my face like its so refreshing to talk to her!! she's busy these days cuz of exams so everyone PLS send love to her too. shes so sweet n i lLOVE it when she screams in caps its the most hilarious thing ever

@wqnwoos - hana her writing istg literally the best thing ever?? its like so delicate but also gets me giggling n kicking my feet fr HAHA like i love it sm. she's such a sweet n chill person to interact with i really hope that i could talk to her more. i also love the poems and words that she reposts because YES i see them it reminds of those poem slideshows on tiktok that either got me crying or the most relatable thing ever

@hannyoontify - kie is so lovely i really hope i can talk to her more!! she's just so sweet n nice n very supportive! also shes like a drum major so hella kudos to her for that such a hardworking queen fr!! i can't wait to interact w her more because ik she's a very fun person to talk to

@toruro - mika i still don't understand how i managed to be moots w her like i admire her sm!! her writing never fails to amaze me like i NEED her brain rn and shes just so pretty?? will never deny that i have a platonic crush on her lmaoo!! and whenever we talk it feels very comfortable and natural it kinda reminds me of catching up with a friend over coffee tbh

@kyeomyun - jada is SOO LOVELY N SUPPORTIVE i always love seeing her pop up in my notifs or inbox and when we scream at each other sometimes LMAO. she's just such a very fun person to talk and i hope we can have more one on one conversations w each other bcuz ik for a fact we're both gonna be screaming over SOMETHING

@blue-jisungs - axe is SO funny and bright and whenever she pops up in my notifs it literally brightens my day sm. like she's just soo infectious that i just can't help but smile?? also she loves kdramas so i hope one day we can scream at each other abt it because YES. her nails and hair are also slay ik for a fact she rocks anything

[cyrusthedragon]

I almost hate how conservative (?) i am about miraxus... Lemme explain myself.

To begin with, I'm a classical nalu (x nagray, cuz natsu and gray are a married couple, i don't make the rules), and i love gajevy, and my other (other-other) pairings are hannigram, sns, sterek, destiel, geraskier, draciolus (if you know - you know), eruri, like..im a classical pansexual they/them with classic ass OTPs, and most of them are fuckin' GAY, and ofc i love it ... More gay = good for me, i love gay people, these are my people, my nation. Even the fuckin' Zukka. I love 'em. I think everyone should be gay.

But miraxus?

Heterosexuals.

Hundred percent.

Fucking heterosexuals.

I'm SHAKING abt it, LIKE, DAMN, BOTH OF YOU ARE SO FUCKIN' FRUITY, LIKE, LAXUS, THE FUCK DO YOU LOOK LIKE THAT? U GAY MAN. U FUCKIN' BEAR. WHY ARE YOU SO GAY. And I'm looking at Mirajane and you don't know but SHE IS MY WIFE, AND I AM FEMALE, MY SEX IS FEMALE, SHE IS- SHE IS LIKE A DREAM. HAVE YOU SEEN HER? SHE'S. SHE'S. SHE!!!! S H E ! ! ! ! SHOULD I REALLY EXPLAIN MYSELF? MIRAJANE FUCKIN' STRAUSS.

But then.

I prefer to listen to my inner voice.

And my inner voice is saying they're both heterosexuals. MAXIMUM bisexuals. I can't explain it, i seriously cannot, i just genuinely think Mirajane somehow likes men (eeewwwww, ghoooorl, whyyyyyy), and Laxus likes women (understandable. relatable.), and I'm comfortable with it. I just think that's how it is, cuz it's fine - being heterosexual. I love them no matter what. And i know a lot of people ship also Mirajane x Erza, and i think it's wonderful, like, they are wives, c'mon, they are... But 2x.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who can separate canon-canon, fanon-canon, and fanon-fanon. Please. I need to know I'm not alone in this fucking fandom thinking this way. I really need it. I swear.

Canon-canon: we don't know their (miraxus) sexuality, so they can be whatever they want, they don't show any romantic interest in anyone in the PLOT of the anime/manga, in the action, not covers, etc.

Fanon-canon: Mirajane and Laxus are at least bisexuals and are prolly gonna end up together, Mashima said so, i think so, that's understandable and logical for me, i (personally) like it, cuz their personalities suit each other, that's why i wholeheartedly ship miraxus.

Fanon-fanon: they are all gay. All of them. All on them. Not a single person in that fucking guild is even a slightest bit hetero. No one. Literally zero heterosexuality per person. This is THE guild of lesbians and gays. AND I LOVE IT. I truly sincerely absolutely love it (cuz it once again makes Mirajane MY WIFEY, I LOVE MY WIFE!!!!).

And there's a second thing i hate abt myself when i think about miraxus compared to every single other pair i ship: when i think abt eruri or sns or *whoever* i think like yeah, they're gonna have max. two kids. That's all. Three - is unbelievable, but acceptable. But like..more on the unbelievable side, ykwim. Highly likely just two kids.

BUT MIRAXIS? IN MY HEAD? IN MY FANON-FANON HEAD? FIVE. And never less. (In fanon-canon just three).

FIVE CHILDREN. FIVE. FIVE FUCKIN' CHILDREN. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY BUT I LOVE IT. I LOVE IT. I DON'T KNOW WHY. I JUST DO. The older twins (boy and girl, ctrl c & ctrl v, the girl is copied from Laxus, the boy is completely Mirajane's child, except for appearance). Then - the third boy, and now HE'S looking like Mirajane, and calm like adult-her (not when he's pissed off, tho, when he's pissed off he's gonna throw you at a fuckin' wall with his confident soothing smile remaining). Then is the fourth girl with Laxus's hair and she's her grand grandpa's baby, she's like fem!Makarov, my ghorl is a calm clown, you don't know she's high until she opens her mouth. The fifth is also a girl and she's the best. And beast. Have you ever seen a baby capable of killing the whole guilt at the age of two years? She can. Cuz she's just learning how to talk and dad once said 'fairy law' and she repeated it and, well, they're so lucky she doesn't hate anybody........... They're so lucky... And now she's banned from magic. Yeah.

The happy family. One Mirajane, one Laxus, one miraxus mix, one Makarov copie, and one FUCKIN' DISASTER. Lovely, lovely children...

Am I okay? No, I'm not, wtf.

[magz]

Been unsure how phrase this for long time,

But each time delve into the global struggles of different oppressed people throughout history and the present - language, songs, news, books, translations, efforts, living, the now.

Feels like restoring magz humanity, in a way hard describe. Like being revived while dying.

(Not "restoring faith in humanity" cliché.)

'Performing' for an audience so can be seen as worthy of living is also familiar - in a sense.

Am not saying like "black ppl / palestinians / other oppressed struggling to survive gives us hope 😢 (cry emoji)" either. No one should have to perform their humanity, we aren't entitled to that of others either, is backhanded disrespect.

Is something would understand if know, cuz am bad at explain.

People's need to misuse "compassion fatigue" for seeing these experience too much, is something am not able relate to. Is the opposite for us specifically. If that make sense.

Even when keeping in mind the whole body-mind disabilities we have. Is not this.

[occasionaloranges]

hey what if you were the kings ward and I was the newest manservant in the castle but i’m also secretly the most powerful wizard to ever walk the earth okay. and maybe I suspect you may have magic as I do, but I am advised by both my mentor and a dragon (that you don’t know about) that I shouldn’t tell you about your magic considering the penalty for it is death here in our kingdom. which is really unfair right? so what if we bonded over that a little (without me telling you the truth) as we take care of a little boy we are hiding in your chambers who’s also like us. right okay so hypothetically what if you started having vivid nightmares (that I suspect are due to you having magic) and so to help you I tell you to seek out the local magic practicers even though that is highly dangerous. and then let’s say you decide you want to stay with them, but the king thinks the magic practicers have kidnapped you and he sends the knights to bring you back to the castle. right so now that you’re back home let’s say I knock on the door to your chambers late that night to check that you’re okay. and let’s say you tell me you’re fine, and then I promise you I won’t tell anyone that you have magic, but you can’t do the same for me because I haven’t told you. we don’t kiss btw. right okay so now that we have this good bond lets say maybe due to circumstances I poison you (i really really didn’t want to) and hold you in my arms as you gasp for air and I sob at what i’ve done. okay so just for the sake of argument imagine you actually DON’T die from the poisoning because a witch who might be your sister saves you, and now you kinda have a grudge against me from that. and then let’s say a little further down the line you and that witch attempt to destroy the entire kingdom as a protest against the kings belief that those with magic should be killed. right okay so like personally I totally get that and I try to explain that to you but it’s not really clicking because I still can’t tell you that I have magic too and we are one in the same. okay anyway let’s say I end up thwarting your plans, but the king doesn’t know it was you behind it so we still live in the castle together (awkward). but then I get this vision that you are going to kill the king (completely understandable but I really can’t let you do that cuz i’ve got this whole protecting the prince’s destiny thing going on, sorry) and when trying to stop you I maybe accidentally kind of send you into a coma. right okay so basically the thought of you dying makes everyone really sad so I use magic to wake you up and save your life (this will definitely come back to bite me later). things are still weird between us tho. at some point you move out of the castle and the next time i see you you kidnap me and tie me up in your house and put a spell on me and it’s kinda sexual idk anyway. so basically, hypothetically, after that’s a lot of shit goes down related to you destroying the kingdom but i’ve still got this protecting the prince (now the king actually) and his destiny thing still going on so basically. well um i don’t know how to say this uhm. i kill you by stabbing you with a sword forged in a dragons breath. yeah and we look into each others eyes as I do it and I hold you and gently lay you down in your last moments (i hate you btw) as i apologize for what you have become, and confess that I feel it’s my fault for never telling you about my magic. so yeah, just like, hypothetically. thoughts?