#so with all of that you can imagine how happy i was to see the gigaleak luigi dumps... <3

[rowarn]

IF YOU NEEDED ME !

simon riley/reader – 7.1k words sale of a lifetime mini series !

tags: smut, childhood best friend!simon, virginity for sale trope, unrealized feelings, soft!simon, protective!simon, virgin!reader, afab!reader, no prns for reader

cw: loss of virginity, cunnilingus, wet & messy, fingering, creampie, mid-sex love confession, a little arguing but nothing crazy tbh, petnames (love, lovie, sweetheart)

; he remembers the way you would look at him when you were children, all smiles and bright eyes. he never thought he was deserving of such happiness. but now, with you shyly covering your bare breasts, in his bed, he feels like he’s the only man deserving of you.

or.

he may not have been the first man you picked to give your first time to. but looking back, you realized he was the only right choice in the end.

Meeting some unknown, shady guy out on the street outside of a seedy bar wasn’t the smartest decision you’ve ever made. Nor was it how you actually intended to spend your Friday evening. But it was the only option you had at the moment, so you swallowed your nerves and forced yourself to stay put at the spot the guy had chosen despite the fact that being out on the street made you feel x10 more nervous and vulnerable. 

You could hear the loud music and chatter inside the bar every time the door opened to let someone in or out. There was a chill in the air that had you contemplating actually going inside and just telling the guy to meet you in there – you were about to give the bastard your damn virginity, the least he could be was accommodating to your temperature struggles. Plus, you could really use a drink.

A car, expensive by the looks of it, pulling up to the curb had you pausing in that train of thought. You recognized him from his profile picture when he stepped out of the vehicle – Lucas, you recall being his name. Whether that was really his name or not didn’t matter; all that mattered was he brought what he promised.

“You have the money?” you asked when he approached you, giving him a tight-lipped smile as a greeting.

“Yeah, got it in the car. All cash, I hope that’s alright,” he grinned, a sight that made a shiver go down your spine. His tone didn’t match the smile, all transactional and dull despite the glimmer in his eyes.

He wasn’t necessarily unattractive but he certainly wasn’t your type. There was a look in his eyes, one that made your skin crawl because you felt like you were nothing but a piece of raw meat in front of a starving, salivating predator. 

“We should get going,” he said, hurrying to open the backseat of his car for you.

You paused, “Aren’t we going to go inside or something?”

He looked confused, grip on the door tightening for a moment before he bursted out laughing. When he saw the shocked look on your face he sobered up, “Sorry, sorry, that was rude of me. Sweetheart, this isn’t a date. I’m just here to get what I paid for.”

“Oh…” you swallowed around the lump in your throat at the condescending tone, humiliation making your cheeks burn, “Right.”

Tears stung the back of your eyes and you quickly averted your gaze so he wouldn’t see how much that stung. Of course, you knew it wasn’t a date. This was a transaction. But you at least thought you’d get to know the guy who was about to take your virginity. You should have known better.

A man who was paying for your virginity wasn’t bound to be someone you could trust to feel comfortable around. You quietly sigh, resigning yourself to this all for the sake of some fucking money. 

You settle into the car, heart jumping into your throat when the door slams. It feels as if you’ve just sealed your fate and you can’t deny that you’re scared. 

But there’s an envelope next to you that you can see stuffed with bills and you clench your fists, trying to calm your racing heart by closing your eyes and breathing. 

You just hope this decision doesn’t cost you your life or something. You’d hate to imagine what that would do to a certain someone.

Suddenly, the car jostles. Your eyes snap open and you see Lucas is jacked up against the side of the car, a very familiar form caging him in. His scarred hands grip the man’s shirt in tight fists. You can’t hear what they’re saying but you can see Lucas is chattering frantically, gesturing wildly with his hands in an attempt to quell the angry man in the skull balaclava. 

You curse to yourself, a different kind of terror shocking through your system. Lucas is thrown to the side and you wince at how hard he hits the pavement before the car door is jerked open.

You can’t even say anything before a strong, rough hand wraps around your arm, yanking you out. You stumble once you’re on your feet, falling right into his chest. 

You try to pull away but his arm clamps down around you. 

Lucas is cursing and screaming his head off, words you don’t even bother to try and decipher because you’re too preoccupied with the masked figure that made his sudden appearance. Nerves make your knees shake and from the look of pure rage in his eyes, you know you’re in deep shit. 

Lucas opens the car door and slams it before driving off, tires squealing against the pavement before he vanishes. Along with that wad of cash that was going to be yours in just a short time. 

Suddenly you’re angry, shoving your hands against his chest to get him away from you.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Riley?!” you shriek, shooting him the fiercest glare you could muster.

“I should be askin’ you that,” he sneers, “The hell were you doin’ with that prick?”

“I–”

“Don’t answer that,” he snaps, cutting you off swiftly, “I know what you were doin’. If you needed money that badly you should have told me.”

“It’s not your concern, Simon!” you cry, resisting the urge to petulantly stomp your foot.

You’re so pissed. 

Simon Riley and you went way back, childhood friends. The two of you had always been in each other's lives. Simon especially was always there when you needed him, a beacon of safety and protection. Your best friend and someone you loved to the ends of the Earth. 

But right now, you’re so angry with him that you can’t seem to think straight.

How dare he show up now, when you’re about to do the most humiliating act of your entire life. How could he show his stupid, masked face here when you didn’t even ask for his help in the first place for a reason. 

“You are always my concern,” he shoots back, scarred knuckles turning white from how hard he clenches his fists, “I have always taken care of you. You should have come to me for help instead of puttin’ yourself in danger like this. You didn’t know that guy, what the fuck were you thinking?”

Anger makes your skin hot, sweat beading on your forehead, blocking out the chill that once made goosebumps rise. You feel ashamed that you were caught in this situation – that the man you’ve known your entire life knew you were about to sleep with some random asshole for a fat wad of cash. You don’t like that he’s made you feel ashamed and confronted you with it.

“Just fuck off, Simon!” you shriek, the only thing you can think of before turning on your heel and stalking away from him.

You don’t glance over your shoulder to check if he’s following because you know he most likely is – from a safe distance to make sure you make it inside your apartment alright but far enough that you can’t get mad at him for it. Your jaw is clenched so tightly that you feel a headache radiating down your neck. 

By the time you reach your apartment, the anger has simmered and all you’re left with is a festering shame that makes tears fill your eyes. You wrap your arms around yourself and quickly shuffle yourself inside, not bothering to check if Simon is out there or not. All you want is to get a hot shower and crawl into bed for the rest of the weekend. 

You do just that, letting the burning hot water scald your skin until you can’t feel any emotions except exhaustion. And then, you crawl into bed and let sleep overtake you without a second thought. 

When you wake up, it’s clear that it’s late into the afternoon. The sun is high in the sky and shining painfully bright through the crack in your curtains. You groan and roll over, slapping the bed to find your phone. 

You grab the device and unlock it, taking a moment to scroll through your notifications. There’s some angry messages from the guy from last night – cursing you out for setting him up to be jumped. It makes you roll your eyes before a particular notification catches your eye.

It’s from your bank – alerting you of a deposit. 

You sit up straight in your bed, brows furrowed before your eyes nearly bug out of your head when you see your bank statement. It’s more than you needed and you know exactly who was responsible. 

You jump out of bed, not even bothering to dress out of your pajamas before you’re shoving some slides onto your feet and storming out of your apartment. 

You’re so heated that you can’t even remember the walk to Simon’s place, your mind racing a million miles a second. You storm up to the door and slam your fist on it, the hard wood making your hand sting from how hard you pound. 

The radiating tingle of pain is quickly forgotten when the door swings open. 

Simon stands there, looking down at you expectantly. He leans against the door with his arms crossed over his chest. He wears an army-issued t-shirt that’s a bit too tight. The sleeves stretch taunt around his biceps and you can make out the swell of his pecs. It’s not very often that you get to see his tattooed arms, littered with scars since he tends to wear long sleeves most of the time. 

He doesn’t look at all surprised to see you, clearly having expected you. The apathetic look in his eyes just solidifies that you were right all along.

“What the hell is your problem?!” you cry without so much as a greeting.

He sighs, broad shoulders rising and falling with it before he opens the door wide and motions you inside. You duck underneath his outstretched arm, turning to watch as he closes the door and locks it. 

He wanders into the kitchen and you realize you can smell bacon. He doesn’t seem at all surprised by your outburst nor does he seem interested in acknowledging your question.

“Are you hungry?” he asks, only solidifying how unperturbed he is by your display of anger. 

“No!” you snap, “I want to know why you did that, Simon!”

He sighs again, much louder but doesn’t respond. You stand in the doorway to his kitchen, watching him plate his lunch – which is actually just breakfast food. He places the dish on the table and pauses, looking up at you.

“You needed the money, I had it,” he offered with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I was handling it on my own,” you say, “I-It was my problem to solve.”

“By sellin’ yourself to some prick?” he snarls, the anger he was masking coming out in a flurry.

“I wasn’t selling myself–” you refute but he slams his palms down on the table. His cutlery clatters with the action and you jump.

“I read that post you made,” he hisses, teeth bared, “There’s no fuckin’ reason you should be selling your virginity for some cash when I was right here the whole time!”

Your cheeks burn when he brings up your virginity, crossing your arms over your chest protectively, “I-It’s mine to sell if I want to! I needed that money!”

“And now you have it,” he says with finality. 

He takes a seat and you stand there, fuming. Your jaw is clenched, teeth grinding together as your mind races to find a rebuttal. He begins to eat, taking large, fast bites that just shows how he’s been conditioned to eat quickly by the military. 

“That’s not the point, Simon,” you huff, growing less angry and more frustrated by this conversation. You were just going around in circles. 

“Then what is the point?” he snaps, snatching his empty plate and angrily tossing it in the sink. He turns to you again, a frown evident on his face, “You got the money you needed safely. That’s all that matters.”

“It’s too much money, Simon!” you cry, “I was selling something in exchange for it!”

“I care about you,” he says, “That doesn’t matter to me. What’s mine is yours, you know that.”

You silently glare at him, wishing that the heated stare would get through to him. He stands unbothered, staring blankly at you with his fists clenched by his sides.

You hang your head, sighing, “I-I can’t take your money, Simon, alright? I’m already in debt and I’m not going to be in debt to you of all people.”

“You feel like you owe me, is that it?” he asks.

You nod your head, heart rate spiking when he stalks towards you. You’re close enough to smell his body wash and aftershave, a painfully familiar scent that you adore. He stares down his nose at you, brown eyes lidded and lazy. 

He reaches out suddenly, rough hand gripping your cheeks, smushing them together until your lips pucker, “Then give me a kiss as payment.”

“H-Huh?” you whimper dumbly, eyes wide in shock as his face grows closer and closer.

“It can be payment for a kiss, lovie,” he coos, syrupy sweet and soft, “Will that make up for it, then?”

The air in your lungs suddenly doesn’t feel like enough. This is a man that you’ve known almost your entire life so you’ve obviously thought about him in a romantic sense at some point. Hell, when you were a teenager you even had a crush on him. But he never once looked at you any other way than as a friend so you quickly got over it – or maybe that’s just what you told yourself. Because as you stand there, staring into his eyes, you realize that kissing him would feel like a dream come true. 

You find yourself nodding despite the inner turmoil going on in your head. Simon huffs through his nose before leaning down and pressing his lips against yours. 

There’s a shock of electricity that goes through you at the contact. Your eyes flutter shut as you lean into the kiss, letting him take over. He works his lips expertly against yours, eventually abandoning his hold on your face in favor of wrapping his arm around your waist. You gasp into the kiss when he suddenly yanks you closer, your body pressed close against his. 

He’s warm and sturdy against you, a solid form of muscle that makes you feel safe and content – just as he always has. His hands are big and rough as they grip your hips, kneading the soft flesh there as he gets lost in kissing you. 

“S-Si,” you find yourself muttering without realizing.

He hums in response, chuckling when you continue to mindlessly kiss him. He pulls back, one hand coming up to wrap lightly around your throat, thumbing at your jaw as your eyes slowly focus on him, “What is it, sweetheart? What do you need?”

“I-I don’t…” you swallow thickly around the forming lump in your throat, “I don’t know. I just…”

“Show me,” he breathes, softer than you’ve ever heard his voice. 

The sweet, tender look in his big, brown eyes is what gives you the courage to grab his wrist, leading it just under the hem of your shirt so he can touch your bare stomach. You give him a shy glance from under your lashes, hoping he’ll get the hint that you want more. 

You want him.

Simon, in all his experienced wisdom, understands immediately what it is you’re aching for. His hand travels up further, pausing at your ribs, just under the swell of your breast. Your heart hammers in your chest when your gaze meets his. His eyes are lidded, long lashes obscuring his pupils but still burning into you. 

He stares deep into your eyes, waiting for any sign of hesitation as his fingers creep higher and higher. You suck in a breath when he cups your breast in his palm, squeezing lightly to feel their weight. 

A large, calloused thumb creeps up, passing ever so softly over your nipple until the bud peaks and hardens under the attention. You sigh at the feeling, new shocks washing over you that you’ve never experienced before. 

Sure, you played with yourself plenty – you had a healthy masturbation life, you’d say. But you’d always just been focused on reaching an orgasm, never on the build up. You imagine, however, it would never feel as good by yourself as it does with him.

He pinches your nipple between two fingers and you whine, lips parting as the sound escapes. Simon takes the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. Your hands grab his shoulders, desperately clinging to his shirt as you lose yourself in the sloppy kiss. 

Drool drips down your chin – it's messy and hot between the two of you. His hand switches to your other breast to give it the same attention as the other. You tremble in his arms, overcome by the insatiable throbbing between your thighs. 

You shift on your feet, the fabric of your panties stick uncomfortably to your core. You’re so wet, wetter than you’ve ever been in your life. By the time he pulls back, there’s a string of saliva connecting your lips to his. 

“You want more?” he asks, voice gravelly as he speaks, as if he’s drunk. You nod your head and he clicks his tongue, “You gotta tell me, sweetheart.”

“I-I want more, Si,” you whisper, feeling your cheeks burn as you admit it. 

“Let’s go,” he hums, taking your hand in his as he leads you around the couch towards the hallway.

“Where?” you ask dumbly, hoping that making some kind of conversation would ease the nerves steadily building in your chest. 

“The bedroom,” he responds, stroking his thumb over the top of your hand as if he can sense that you’re nervous, “Wouldn’t want to be stripped down in the middle of the living room, I imagine.”

“N-No,” you squeak, cheeks burning even hotter at those words. 

You’re going to be naked. In front of another person for the first time. In front of him. Simon. 

“There now, lovie,” he whispers as he shuts his bedroom door behind the both of you. He takes your waist in his hands, kneading the soft flesh there, “It’s alright.”

“I-I’m just–”

“Nervous,” he finishes for you, smiling softly when you nod, “I know. We can stop anytime you’d like.”

“I don’t want to,” you rush out, hands coming up to press against his firm chest, “Just…d-don’t be upset when I don’t know what I’m doing.”

The tender way he looks at you sets your heart pounding like a little rabbit. A ghost a smile appears on his lips, “I would never do somethin’ like that.”

“I-I know, I just…” you look down at your feet only for him to catch your chin in his fingers, pulling you to look up at him.

You swallow thickly around the lump in your throat, holding your breath as he descends down. His lips find yours all over again, as exhilarating and mind-melting as the first time. 

Just the sweet, deep kiss he gives you has your nerves dissipating a bit – back to normal levels. You no longer feel the desire to flee, you just feel an intense longing and anticipation. You crave more from him.

As if sensing this, his fingers find the hem of your shirt. He slowly starts to pull it up, agonizingly slow. But you’re grateful for it, it gives you time to prepare before you’re bared completely to him. You lift your arms for him, a sign that you’re still okay with this. 

He pulls it up over your head and lets the fabric drop to the floor. But he doesn’t look down, he continues looking in your eyes, softly pecking your lips as his hands cup your breasts once more. 

When you sigh and lean into his touch, he finally lets himself break the eye contact. He sucks in a sharp breath when he sees how pretty your tits sit in his hands. He touches them softly, sweetly brushing over your nipples in admiration. 

“Perfect tits, lovie,” he coos, chuckling when you whine in embarrassment. 

His head descends, pink lips parting to take one of your nipples in his mouth. It’s hot but his tongue is soft when it circles and flicks at the bud. He sucks, popping off lewdly before switching to the other one. 

The sensation makes you squeeze your thighs together, imaging what that would feel like around your clit. Your hole clenches around nothing, drooling messily into your panties. The fabric was so wet by now that it couldn’t soak it up anymore, leaving it to slick up your thighs instead.

Your core ached, a feeling only Simon would be able to soothe. 

“Please, Si,” you finally break, whimpering pathetically. 

He detaches from your breast, lips wet and swollen from the worship he had been giving your now sore nipples. His pupils were blown wide, black swallowing brown and you were sure that yours looked the same. 

He stands to his full height, nudging you backwards until your knees hit the bed. They buckled at that, leaving you to fall back against the bed. Simon’s bedding was soft, the scent of detergent and his own body wash filling your senses. You relax at the familiar, comforting scent, sinking into the blankets with a bashful smile on your face.

To Simon, you’re an ethereal beauty. You take the air right out of his lungs with the way you look at him.

He remembers the way you would look at him when you were children, all smiles and bright eyes. He never thought he was deserving of such happiness. But now, with you shyly covering your bare breasts, in his bed, he feels like he’s the only man deserving of you. 

He scooches you up the bed, crawling on after you until he’s on top of you. Though you’re still wearing your pants, you feel so vulnerable beneath his weight. He’s heavy and warm and he smells so good. You can’t focus on anything except for him – he’s all around you and it’s exhilarating. 

Feeling bold, you reach up and tug at his shirt. He pulls it off with ease, revealing his toned, scarred upper body. You can’t help but trace over some of the ones you’re familiar with – there’s one from a time he fell out of a tree trying to rescue a cat that you had been crying about. He fell out of the tree on the way down, a jagged branch stabbing into his upper arm and slicing it open. There was another one from when you were teenagers, some other kids jumped him and he took a stab to his shoulder trying to protect you. You kiss that one and he softens, as if he’s remembering it too. 

He’s always been there for you, an overwhelming presence that you simply couldn’t live without. The fact you’re here, in this bed, about to give him your virginity is something that you never would have expected. 

And to think, you were planning to sell it off to some random loser. 

“I’m glad you stopped me,” you find yourself whispering. 

He looks confused for a second before he hums, nodding in understanding, “I am too.”

“I-I want it to be you, Si,” you whisper, the confession leaving you embarrassed. It’s true, all this time, you realize, he’s all you’ve ever really wanted. You had just buried it deep down so you no longer felt those sparks towards him.

“I’ll take care of you,” he whispers back, as if the two of you are sharing some secret little moment that no one else can hear about even though it’s just the two of you in this room. 

“You always do,” you respond, the words making his dark eyes light up. 

He kisses you deeply, moving his lips slowly against yours. When your hands come up to grip the back of his neck, he takes that as his cue to move down to your neck, then your collarbones, down the center of your chest between your breasts, the spot between your breasts, and finally your navel. 

You lay back, head in his pillows with your hands on either side of your head. You watch him, breathing labored as you wait for his next move. He pauses in his path, looking up through his lashes at you before his fingers find the hem of your sweats. You swallow thickly, holding your breath when he slowly begins to pull the fabric down. You lift your hips to help him, pulling your legs free while being careful not to kick him by accident. 

He keeps his gaze on you until you’re settled back down into the bed and the pants are forgotten on the floor to be collected later. Then, he looks down. 

Even though you still have your panties on, you know that the white cotton is soaked through and hides absolutely nothing from his view. 

You watch as he licks his lips, as if his mouth is suddenly bone dry. His hands are burning hot when he touches you again, sliding over your thighs to your hips. He leans down, pressing his lips against each of your thighs. 

His thumb reaches down, stretches over your pubic bone to touch the sticky fabric. You nearly jump at the sensation – someone’s fingers other than your own touching you there for the first time. Simon’s fingers.

As if he can’t help himself anymore, he tugs the waistband of your panties and yanks them down your thighs. You squeal when you’re jostled under the force. 

He holds the material up and you’re mortified to see just how wet they are. He runs his thumbs over the crotch and you whine, drawing his attention from them. He drops them to the floor and returns his hands back to you, gripping underneath your knees, so he can spread you all the way open. 

Your hands fly to your face, covering your eyes in embarrassment at how exposed you are. He doesn’t seem to mind, pressing a kiss over the top of your hands before moving back down your body. 

You peek through your fingers only to find him already staring at you with a sparkle in his eyes. He carefully spreads your slippery folds apart with his thumbs, the movement causing a wet, sticky sound to emanate from between your legs. The little bud of your clit is hard and twitching as it’s exposed to the cool air of the bedroom. When he’s sure you’re looking he leans down, pink tongue hanging out of his mouth. You stop breathing as you watch a fat glob of spit roll down the surface of the smooth muscle and splatter right on your clit. 

“Si-!” your squeal of his name is cut off when your eyes roll back in his head as that sinful tongue slides right over your bud. 

Your whole body twitches at that, hands falling away from your face so you can reach down and grab his hair. It doesn’t even seem like he notices your grip, focused on slurping up that sensitive nub into his hot mouth. 

You choke out a moan, tilting your head back into the pillows as your back arches. It feels just as good as you thought it would when he was giving the same, lewd treatment to your nipples. 

He continues to suck and lick your clit until your mind is completely blank and all you can think is him. Then, all at once it stops and he pulls back, letting your bud slip from the heavenly clutch of his lips.

“You ever have somethin’ inside you, lovie?” he asks, bringing up one of his fingers to swipe through the folds of your entrance, as if to show you what he intends. 

You swallow to moisten your throat before nodding, “J-Just my fingers.”

“How many?” he asks, growing more confident in prodding at the tight little hole. 

“T-Two,” you breathe, any embarrassment you felt long dissipated in the face of true pleasure.

“Alright, lovie,” he hums, “Just lay back, I’ll take good care of you, yeah?”

You nod and do as he says, turning utterly boneless against the blankets. The sweat already slicking your skin despite the fact you’ve only just begun makes the fabric stick to you. 

He prods at your entrance for only a second longer before finally, he pushes his thick middle digit inside you. Your cunt is so wet and pliant that it hungrily swallows it up to the very last knuckle. You clench around it intentionally, getting used to the feeling of the foreign finger inside of you for the first time. 

It feels so different compared to your own, thicker and rougher. The sensation is so strange but you can’t say you don’t like it – in fact, it feels amazing. You already want another, feeling like one just isn’t enough to give you that unknown feeling you’re chasing. It’s like you have an itch that needs to be scratched and only Simon can do it for you. 

As if sensing this, ever the reliable one, he carefully introduces a second finger. The stretch is unfamiliar, a burn around your entrance following as he reaches the last knuckle on that one too. His middle and ring finger stuffed snuggly inside your gooey little cunt as you whine and squirm from the feeling. 

Once you’ve adjusted, he slowly begins working them in and out of you. You slick up his fingers easily, streaks of creamy white coating his skin and making his mouth water. When he crooks his fingers up suddenly, prodding at that tender little spot inside of you, your entire body twitches and the most beautiful moan rips from your chest. 

He can’t resist leaning down and trapping your pulsing little clit under the flat of his tongue. He doesn’t slurp it into his mouth like before, instead, he just licks over it, pressing it down with the muscle. Your eyes are rolled up and your mouth hangs open as you moan and moan, tugging mindlessly at his hair as he works you towards your orgasm. 

It grows and grows, the unrelenting pleasure of his fingers fucking deeply into you and his tongue lapping sloppily at your clit like a mutt driving that knot in your belly to tighten. Drool spills out around his tongue, slipping down to meet his fingers where he easily fucks it into you – the added lubrication not needed but so very welcome with how much wetter and messier it makes you. 

“S-Simon…” you pant, gasping to catch your breath as the pleasure makes it hard for you to even think. 

He glances up at you through his lashes but doesn’t offer any other acknowledgement. There’s a knowing look in his eyes that tells you he knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s going to wring this orgasm out of your little cunt whether you like it or not. 

And fuck, do you love it. 

The orgasms you brought yourself in the deep of the night, little hands stuffed down your panties as you played with your clit and stuffed yourself with your own fingers was nothing like what you were experiencing now. Simon’s thick fingers and hot tongue were torturing your little clit until your entire body started to lock up.

You looked at him desperately, unsure what was even going through your mind besides him and how fucking good you felt right now. 

Just as you teetered on the edge of this orgasm, he suddenly changed up and swallowed your twitchy little clit into his mouth. He sucked, sending you flying over the edge with a shrill wail of his name. Your legs kicked and twitched, heels hitting him on the back as you trembled and shook through the orgasm that he eagerly fucked out of you onto his fingers. 

He suckled your clit, swirling his tongue around it until it was too sensitive and you were tearily pushing him away. When he finally released you, slipping his fingers from your cunt, you were boneless and twitching on the bed. You didn’t even try to close your legs when he pulled away, giving him the perfect view to watch your cute little pussy clench and messily drool cum in the aftermath of your orgasm. 

He popped his fingers in his mouth, eyes rolling and lashes fluttering at the taste of your cum tingling on his taste buds. As you came down, eyes closed and breathing heavy, he began pulling at his belt. 

You could hear the metal clinking as he dropped it to the floor, peeking your heavy lids open to see him pull the button of his jeans open. As he slowly pulled them down, his underwear went with and suddenly you were more aware than ever. 

His cock was something to behold. Thick and veiny, bobbing in the air where it hung – too heavy to actually stand upright. You’d seen dicks in porn before but none of them prepared you for Simon’s. Precum dribbled from the tip, creating a long, gooey string down towards the floor before it broke. 

He wrapped a big hand around himself, giving a few good strokes as he reached down to cup his own heavy balls. The hair wasn’t wild or offensive, but neatly trimmed short. 

“All good, lovie?” he asked, stepping out of the pool of his jeans and boxers so he could kneel on the bed again.

“All god-good!” you blushed as he laughed, leaning down over you to balance his weight on his elbows.

“You still want this?” he asks, hushed and sweet, 

You glance between your bodies to see that intimidating cock, drooling messily over your skin. You realize, quickly, that you’ve never wanted anything more in your life.

When you voice such, he looks relieved, like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. He sits back on his heels and spreads your legs, pushing your knees up to your chest.

“Hold them there,” he orders, which you follow immediately. 

Your elbows circle around your knees, holding yourself open for him as he asked. He whistles low in appreciation when your cum-slicked cunt was spread and exposed for him to prod his cockhead against. 

He swipes the tip up and down through your folds, humming appreciatively when your little hole tries to suck him in every time he grazes past it. He nudges your clit, the little bud still hard and sensitive from your orgasm but so eager for more. He couldn’t wait to grant your wish and make you cream on his cock. 

You watch him with wide eyes as he starts to push into you. Your jaw drops as you feel that burning stretch, an ache settling between your legs as he continues to sink himself into you. 

“F-Fuck, wait, Simon!” you squeal and he halts immediately. 

He’s only reached just past the head of his cock but he reaches down to pet your clit. The pleasure shoots through you, making your toes curl and your walls relax around him. He keeps his eyes on your face for any sign that you want him to stop as he moves his hips again. 

More and more of his cock sinks inside and his thumb keeps working little circles over your clit until his hips are flush with yours. Your voice breaks as you moan when you realize you’ve taken every single inch of him. 

He’s heavy and throbbing inside of you and you clench around him intentionally, forcing a moan from his chest. 

He leans down, arranging your knees over his shoulders, folding you up and pressing down on  you. He’s heavy and it makes it hard to breathe but that makes it even better – the pleasure of being speared on that fat cock and being utterly helpless underneath this man is better than any fantasy you could have made for yourself. 

“Fuck,” he snarls, rolling his hips back before rocking them forward again, heavy balls slapping against you as he does, “Can’t believe you were gonna give this little cunt away to some prick.”

“S-Si,” you whimper, biting your lip at the feeling of him slowly and carefully rocking his hips against yours, “‘M sorry, sh-shoulda been you all this time.”

“That’s fuckin’ right,” he hums, “No one else gets to love you but me, sweetheart.”

“O-Only you!” you agree, nails digging into his shoulders when he hits that spot just right. 

He can feel you soaking his cock, drippy cum lathering him up to make every glide of his cock wetter than the last. He sits back up on his knees, adjusting his grip so he can pin your legs wide open, giving him the best view of your greedy cunt swallowing his length up. 

He begins to fuck you in earnest, pulling out halfway before sliding home again - nothing like the little movements he gave you to prepare you. He was going to show you exactly why you should only think of giving him this precious pussy for the rest of your life. No one will ever be able to fuck you as good as he can, he’s going to learn your body like the back of your hand and you’re never going to be able to cum as hard as you can with him. You’ll never even want to use your own fingers again when he’s done with you. 

You can’t do anything but lay there and take it, take the pleasure and take his cock. He hits so deep, prodding at your cervix in a way that aches but it only feels that much better when it’s mixed with mind-numbing pleasure. 

Simon looms above you, panting and groaning as he fucks you like he was made to. He angles his hips just right, blunt nails biting into your thighs where he pins you open, neither of you caring if he happens to break skin while he does. You don’t even register the bite of pain underneath the way his cock prods you g-spot so perfectly. 

Your own fingers would have been tired by now, no longer able to work that little spot like you need. Simon’s cock, however, is unrelenting. The pleasure builds and mounts uninterrupted, every stroke of his length sending you higher. His body moves fluidly, rolling his hips tirelessly so he can give you every ounce of pleasure your sweet little cunt needs. 

You’re creaming around him, a frothy, milky ring forming around the base every time he sinks in and becoming visible when he pulls back. It’s filthy and messy and makes your cheeks burn but Simon seems to not mind in the slightest.

“So fuckin’ messy, love,” he coos, breathy and slurred, “Look at that, pretty cunt needed some cock, huh?”

“Y-Yours!” you manage to choke out.

“What’s that?” he asks, a crooked, teasing grin on his face. 

“Y-Your cock! Only needed your cock, Simon,” you pant, reaching up to grope your own tits, pinching and rolling your nipples meanly. It hurts so good, making you clench around his cock. He moans at the sight, his pretty little virgin tormenting your own nipples.

“That’s right,” he hums, reaching a shaky hand down to thumb at your clit, “Keep pinchin’ those pretty tits, sweetheart. Don’t stop.”

You nod your head, unable to form a vocal response from the new sensation of your clit being played with while he fucks you. It feels so damn good that you could go drunk from it all. Everything in your brain is slow, thoughts of only him and how good you feel are all that’s there. Your entire world, right at this moment, revolves around Simon Riley. 

He knows it too, a cocky grin on his face as he works you to your orgasm. You dangle, almost helplessly, staring unblinkingly at his handsome face as he works it out of you. 

After what feels like minutes, but is probably only seconds, you cum. Hard.

Your head slams back against the pillows, back arching as you cunt clasps tight around him. You cry out in pure, unadulterated pleasure as he fucks you through it. His thumb keeps working your clit as it twitches and pulses under the digit, cumming nice and pretty for him just like he wanted. Just like you deserved. 

You cream his cock messily, it drips down his balls and down your ass to the bedding below. So fucking sloppy and wet, a perfect little cunt made to take his cock. 

His brows furrow, mouth falling open as his own orgasm mounts and builds. Now that your well-earned orgasm is out of the way, he can finally let go and allow himself to experience it as well.

“Where do you want it?” he grits out, teeth clenched from the ache of holding back.

His balls draw up, heavy and full. He feels ready to positively explode when you gasp, “I-Inside!”

His head falls back, the loudest, most drawn out moan you’d never expected to come from a stoic man like Simon falling from his lips. It’s deep and primal, full of nothing but euphoria as he spills into you. His load is hot and thick, drooling out of the sides of his cock as he slows his thrusts to milk the least bits of pleasure from the orgasm. 

When he comes down, he collapses. Your legs lock around his waist and he draws you tightly into his arms, neither of you caring for the way his weight crushes you. All you care about is being wrapped up in his arms where you belong. 

He pulls his neck from your chest and kisses your forehead. Then he kisses your nose. Then your lips. 

“Pretty,” he breathes, still drunk on the endorphins of the sex so his lips are a little looser than they’d normally be, “Always thought you were pretty.”

“Really?” you prompt, cheeks heating at his confession. 

He hums, “Glad you’re finally mine.”

You beam, “No one deserved me as much as you.”

He nods as if it’s the most obvious statement in the world, rolling off of you with a sigh. His cock unplugs your cunt and a gush of your mixed cum comes out, making you whine. He laughs softly, drawing you back into your arms. 

You’ve never felt safer and warmer in your life, knowing in that moment that you should have come to Simon all along. There’s no one in the world who would be there for you, more willing and able than he. 

this work belongs to rowarn. do not repost to third party websites or use for character ai. reblogs welcome and appreciated!

[lilyarchived]

too late [john price]

a/n: I wasn't originally gonna write anything yet because I still feel absolute dogshit, but this post by @gloomyyangel was too yummy to ignore.  I don’t really like this but what else can I do? Write some more? (gunshots)

warnings: smut after keep reading! (go away minors), swearing, hurt NO comfort, fem reader, mean!price at the start, 1.7k words oops, Lowkey abrupt ending.

summary: you let price imagine you as his ex wife because it will hurt even more to let him go, but what happens if he finally tries to make it up to you?

“F-fuuuck..” your husband groans. “Feels,, sso good, angie..” The sound of another woman’s name should be enough to make you feel bad, be enraged, scream at him, go apeshit crazy, right? Your whimpers of pleasure say so otherwise. It has been like this for years, you’ve come to terms that your husband, Captain John Price, will always see you as his ex wife. At some point you feel bad for yourself, you wouldn’t have let this shit slide. Hell, you wouldn’t even settle for a rich, handsome man all because he told you women should just stay quiet. The bitch slap you gave that man before storming out the restaurant stays engraved in the back of your mind, good days. 

But now? Now you’re settling for a man to imagine as if you’re his ex? Since when did your standards fall down to the deepest pit in the ocean? “ ‘m close, fuck, so tight for me.” You didn’t know whether to feel flustered or disgusted at the praise, knowing damn well he’s talking to angie in his mind. You gasp as your orgasm suddenly takes over your whole body, basking in that sweet, sweet pleasure. Hey, he can be a dick husband and still make you cum, nothing wrong with that. He follows suit after a few more thrusts, his hands beside your head grasping at the satin sheets. His moans ring through your ear until he finally plops down beside you.

You don’t expect him to clean up. At Least not like he used to. You get up to clean yourself before going back in the room with a warm and wet washcloth. You clean your husband up before noticing he’s already fast asleep. How did you ever get here? From your handsome Captain flattering you, taking you out on dates, treating you as if you are the sun keeping him warm, putting your pleasure first, and actually caring about you; to this man, ever so distant, calling you his ex wife’s name, never talking to you unless it’s work related or if he needs to let out some energy. And why the hell are you letting this happen? A man? Taking advantage of you? Making you some sort of sex doll?

You wish you could just be mad about it, scream and punch and cry, do anything to avenge your poor self. Yet you can’t. You love him too much, you love him like he painted the morning orange sky above, you love him like he hung up the moon and stars. You love him. Only Simon knows about his behaviour, you were a bit sceptical telling him everything since he always thought so highly of the captain, you feared he would take his side and tell you to get over yourself. You hadn’t expected him to pull you in a tight hug and whisper to you that you should leave him. You cried for the first time in a long time that night.

Snapping back to reality, you get dressed in your sleeping clothes and settle next to your sleeping husband. Staring into his shut eyes, wondering where you went wrong. You let your eyes droop to sleep, preparing your mind for another unbearable day tomorrow.

--

As months passed, you and John were still together, happy, no, but still married. You start to grow numb, never once batting an eyelash when he cums again after moaning “angie”. What an annoying sound in your ears it was. Don’t get me wrong, you still felt good whenever he decided to initiate something sexual with you. Your moans and whines fill the air alongside the sound of slapping skin. Simon gives you the usual disappointed look, but you honestly can’t tell if that’s his resting face or not. Then, everything changes.

“Darling, d’you wanna get food with me?” You freeze on the empty couch in the equally empty rec room. The sound of John’s voice making your heart skip a beat. He has never asked you to eat out with him, well ever since he normalised moaning a different name in bed. It’s like all his intimacy and chivalry left with your dignity. “Umm, I just had dinner Sergeant Garrick, Captain. I’m set for the night..” you reply after you peeked behind you, making sure he was talking to you. “At ease, I’m talking to you as my wife, [Y/N]” You let out a forced chuckle before going back to the book you were reading. “Why were you out with Kyle?” you hear him mutter. He can’t be serious. “..We were both free and hungry?” you reply in a meek voice. “I was free. Couldn’t even be bothered to ask your husband first?” 

The way your blood was boiling the moment that stupid sentence left his mouth. Why does he care? Does he think that he can moan a different woman’s name in bed and get away with it but you going out for dinner with a friend is all of a sudden, adultery? “You told me you’d be busy the whole day. Why is it a big deal I went out with Gaz? It’s not like I’ve been saying his name during sex.” You quickly shut your eyes, you didn’t mean to say that last part out loud. You prepared for his anger, instead you were met with a deep sigh. “I’ll let you be.” He says defeatedly, walking away from the scene. You see a confused Simon in the corner before squealing out of surprise. “How long have you been there, freak?” Simon only chuckles, “Tha’ don’t matter, Cap’n looks devastated. Ya think he’s been feeling guilty?” He sips on his black tea, you remove the hand clutching your shirt near the beat of your heart. “I don’t know, and I don’t care.” You fall face down on the couch to scream, ignoring Simon’s deep voice laughing at your pain.

What you both didn’t know is that John has been feeling bad for how he’s been treating you. He would notice your soft giggles echoing the hallways as Johnny picks you up and throws you over his shoulder, at how pretty you look in casual clothes, how your hair flows during bar hopping nights with the team, how your face shines in the city lights. How your nose scrunches when you get teased by Simon for liking your coffee too sweet. How beautiful you sound when he’s feeling you up and down, your surprised gasps as he rubs your clit in circles, how sinfully angelic you look when you come undone. Fuck, he really messed up.

So he makes it up to you, he cuddles after ruining your guts, he cleans you up, he wakes up before you to cook you breakfast. He makes your coffee the way you like it, gets you flowers every now and then, kisses you more passionately rather than his usual rushed ones. He loves you tenderly but it all seems foreign, even though he used to do it for the first few years of your relationship, you had already forgotten how it feels like to be loved by this man.

You feel nauseated. How could he go back to the way things were, like he hasn’t been giving you the cold shoulder for months now? Why now? WHY now? Why NOW? You stay cautious, every sweet move he’s doing puts you on edge. You knock on your Lieutenant’s door before he tells you to “come in” with that same ol’ gruff voice. As the night rolls in, you’ve already told him everything Price was doing, how he kept acting lovingly without addressing the past few months. He tells you you have two options: to confront him, or to go along with it. Neither of it seems appealing to you but deep down, you know he’s right. 

You thank Simon for the advice leaving his room to confront your husband tonight. The minute you walk into John’s room, his face lights up and asks you if you’ve eaten.  You scoff as you tell him you need to talk. “Why are you doing this to me, John?” you finally speak up after staring into the same eyes you fell for. His face drops, eyebrows furrowing, “What do you mean by that, dove?” A sigh escapes your soft lips, “Don’t call me that, John. Don’t act as if you weren’t just calling me, imagining me as your ex wife during our most intimate times. Don’t act like you haven’t been ignoring me, acting as if I didn't exist ‘til you needed work done or if you needed to have a shag.” You let out, tears staining your cheeks. John reaches out to wipe them but you move his hand away. “I mean, was it all a joke to you? Did I mean nothing but a body for you to imagine as if you were still together with her?” John finally talks, “You know it’s not like that, [Y/N]-” 

“Then what, John? What is it like? God, you- you” hyperventilating now, you search for the right words to come out. “You changed me. Acting like nothing’s wrong and being all sweet won’t work on me. I gave up on whatever our relationship was a long time ago.” His breath hitches, “Baby, please-” “I should go.” you cut him off. “Please, I’ll do better, we can start over?” he pleads, grabbing your arm. “It’s not that easy, John.” “Loving you is easy. I love you like it’s breathing. Please. You mean the world to me. I can’t let you go knowing i fucked up everything.” He sounds desperate now.

“I love you, John. But I don’t think I can ever love you like I used to.” He looks up to you, bloodshot eyes as tears pour over his face. You reach over to wipe them away. He leans into your touch. “Don’t give up on me, please?” You give him one last broken smile, “We’re way past not giving up, my love.” 

---

taglist for the people in the original post's comments LMAO (lmk if u want me to untag muheheh): @blackhawkfanatic @tf141gloryhole @montenegroisr @princesslikesfanfics @hoelesss

[puckinghischier]

Meet the Parents

Jack Hughes x fem!reader

summary: reader is nervous to meet jack’s parents

notes: got the itch to write again, and this request has been sitting in my inbox for awhile. this was very fun to write, and i’m learning i absolutely LOVE writing jack! the ending is kinda weird bc i didn’t really know how to end it, but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless! happy reading!! 🫶🏼

request: jack bringing his gf to meet the rest of his family and they all quickly adore her, but can tell she’s really important to jack and he really just loves her but she is also super close to Luke and that makes ellen very happy!! just something sweet have fun!!!

[4.2k]

“Darling, chill out. Everything’s going to be fine. I’m telling you, they already love you,” Jack brings a hand over to calm your bouncing knee.

You worry that Jack made a reservation at the wrong restaurant, seeing as the two of you have been sitting in the half circle booth for fifteen minutes already, and there’s no trace of the rest of the Hughes clan to be seen.

Jack’s parents had flown into Jersey yesterday, wanting to be there when the Devils play the Canucks tomorrow so they can see all of their children on the same ice once again.

Quinn and Luke were joining you for dinner tonight, too, but you had no fears about either of them being in attendance. If anything, the fact that both of them will be here calms your nerves a little more.

Luke was actually the reason you had met Jack in the first place. The small café you worked at being one of Luke’s favorite spots to come and decompress after practice or before big games. He would come in and sit at the same table in the back of the small dining room, ordering an iced green tea and a grilled ham and swiss every time.

You went to take your break one day, going to sit at your favorite secluded corner booth, only to find the space already taken by none other than your curly-headed regular.

He offered for you to sit, claiming his table had been taken when he came in, but he was about to take off anyways. You insisted he stayed and you share the booth, then spent your entire break chatting with the hockey player, as you had learned, and a friendship was quickly formed.

He started sitting in your booth instead of his table, causing you to now spend most of your breaks talking to your new friend. The conversations during breaks and between rushes became him inviting you to games and outings with his teammates.

He had introduced you to Jack the first time you agreed to meet up with him at a sports bar down the road after a shift, and you were instantly drawn to the middle Hughes brother.

The more games you went to and the more you made appearances during post-game celebrations, the closer you became to Jack, until the two of you made the jump from friends to dating.

Luke had admitted that he knew from that first time he sat with you on your break, you were perfect for his brother. He orchestrated the whole thing, from inviting you out to bringing Jack along to a few of his ‘zen’ lunches before games after your first introduction to his older brother.

You were thankful Luke had decided to play matchmaker for his brother all those months ago. You couldn’t imagine your life without Jack in it, now. You had found your person, and gained two brothers out of it at the same time.

And even though you had been with Jack for quite some time, the opportunity to meet his parents had never presented until now. You had met Quinn only two months into your relationship, taking a trip to Vancouver with the two devils players to celebrate Quinn’s becoming captain of the Canucks.

Jim and Ellen hadn’t been able to make it then, flying out a few weeks after the three of you made your visit. Jack and Luke had invited you to spend the week with their family at their lake house this summer, but it was the same week you were flying home for your grandfather’s birthday party.

There were a couple more missed opportunities between now and then, but now is the time that you’re faced with the infamous task of meeting the parents.

You keep trying to tell yourself that they can’t be that scary, considering how quickly you were accepted by all three children they raised. But that seed of doubt keeps digging its roots in your mind, causing you to become a ball of anxious energy all day.

You had showed up and proceeded to clean Jack’s entire apartment at seven o’clock this morning, after cleaning yours last night, because you couldn’t sleep. You color-coded his t-shirts in his closet and re-organized all of Luke’s drawers in his room. Luke had joked that they should take you to a family reunion and maybe you’d start detailing their cars, next. The comment earned him a swift smack to the head from Jack.

Your boyfriend, on the other hand, begged you to stop, and take a breather with him. He took you to a salon to get your nails re-done, the scrubbing you did to your shower last night ruining your current manicure. He also took you to the local animal shelter, remembering how you babbled about a statistic stating that petting a cat for ten minutes can reduce a person’s stress by 50%.

He brought you back to his apartment with plenty of time to get ready, and sat in the bathroom with you the entire time you showered so he could listen to you list your worries about this evening and reassure you everything would be fine. He claimed he wanted to learn and help when you sat down in front of the vanity he had bought and placed in his room for you, eager to help you apply the various creams and powders to your face. He tried to curl a few strands of your hair for you, causing you to break into a fit of giggles when he got the iron so tangled in your hair it stayed without either of you holding on to it.

His actions did ease your anxiety, being so focused on Jack and your love for him to leave any room for the familiar bubble of nervousness in your belly. But the second you stepped foot in the restaurant, it all became real again.

“Jack, are you sure this is the right place? Why aren’t they here yet? Do you think they forgot?” you place your hand on top of the one he just placed on your knee, looking over at him with wide, worried eyes.

“Yes, this is the right place. They’re just running a bit behind. Dad isn’t always the best judge of traffic. He thinks he can beat the GPS every time,” he chuckles, leaning in to place a kiss to your temple.

You close your eyes and lean into his kiss, allowing yourself to get lost in Jack and the comfort he never fails to bring you.

He removes his lips from your temple, lowering his head slightly to speak quietly into your ear.

“I promise, you have nothing to worry about. Mom is so excited to meet you, and Dad always asks about how your classes are going when I talk to him on the phone,” he starts, rubbing his hand up and down your thigh. “Plus, if for some reason they decide they don’t like you, which is literally impossible, by the way, it’s not going to change the way I feel about you.”

He places a kiss to your cheek, your eyes still closed listening to his words. You let out a breath you had been holding, letting yourself fully sag into his side. He starts to speak softly once more as you lay your head fully on his shoulder.

“They will never change how much I love you, Y/N. You’re it for me. I’ll live the rest of my life in familial exile if I have to. You’re the only thing that matters to me, understand?”

“Now, don’t be so dramatic, Jack, I’m a catch. Surely if I can survive all the puck bunnies I can survive your mom and dad,” you joke, his words giving you a small boost of confidence. “Plus, they raised you, how scary can they really be?”

You lift your head off of his shoulder and pinch his cheek, poking fun at the fact the internet claims Jack isn’t very threatening.

“Heyyy,” he draws the word out, feigning offense. “I can be scary. I am a big scary hockey player after all,” he pouts bringing his forehead to rest against yours.

You bring your hand up to pat his cheek. “Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that, pretty boy.”

You giggle as Jack growls at you and brings his hands to tickle your sides, causing you to yelp and try to squirm away from him in the large booth.

Neither of you notice the hostess escorting the rest of the Hughes family towards your booth.

“Alright, get a room you two, geez. And don’t make it mine this time,” you hear Luke’s voice ring out, referencing the time Jack’s sheets were being washed so the two of you decided to nap in Luke’s room.

You snap to attention, separating yourself from Jack fully.

You look up to see his entire family standing there, looking at you. Jack rolls his eyes at his brother, quickly scooting out of the booth to greet his parents.

“We take a nap in your room one time and you never let us forget it. We even slept on top of your comforter, for crying out loud!” Jack ruffles Luke’s curls as he walks past him.

You wiggle your way out of the booth to greet his family, taking a few deep breaths for good measure.

You find yourself in front of Quinn first, walking into his open arms for one of your favorite Quinn bear hugs.

“How are you, squirt?” he asks, squeezing you tight.

“Quinnifer, I’m only two years younger than you,” you squeeze him back, hearing him chuckle at your own nickname for the defenseman.  

“Yeah, so you’re forever and affectionately known as squirt,” he says matter of factly, pulling back from the hug but keeping his hands on your upper arms as you roll your eyes at him.

“So, you doing okay? Any meltdowns yet? Jack told me you were nervous,” Quinn questions you, ducking slightly so he can look into your eyes.

“Well, Jack’s t-shirts are color coded and Luke’s drawers are now sorted in order of how he gets dressed, so if that’s what you call okay, then yeah, I’m doing great,” you reveal, giving Quinn a sheepish smile.

“I thought Jack said you were nervous. Sounds like a typical Thursday night for you,” he teases back, letting his hands drop.

“Ha-Ha, very funny, Quinnifer,” you deadpan.

Quinn laughs at you. “Seriously, you have nothing to worry about. I don’t know if Jack told you already, but they ask about you all the time. I think Mom’s over the moon that Rowdy finally has someone to keep him in check. They love you already.” Quinn tells you with the most sincerity you’ve ever heard from him.

You reach out and squeeze his shoulder, a silent thank you for the reassurance.

“Yeah, I think Mom’s already got the wedding colors picked out,” Luke approaches the two of you.

“Shut up, Moose. You’re just mad Jack snagged her when you were too dumb to,” Quinn elbows Luke in the ribs as he stands next to his oldest brother.

“Quinn, that’s literally the most disgusting thing you’ve ever said to me,” Luke hunches over, rubbing his abdomen.

“Gee, thanks Luke. Glad to know how repulsive you think I am,” you throw your arms up slightly, playfully scoffing.

“Don’t get me wrong, Y/N, you’re a catch and all, but my God, that’s like someone telling me I should make a move on my sister,” Luke makes a gagging noise, emphasizing his point.

“Don’t worry, Lukey, I feel the same way about it. You’re the annoying little brother I never wanted and didn’t have…until now,” you dig back, earning your own eye roll from the tallest Hughes.

You look over to see Jack conversing with his parents when he catches your eye, waving you over.

“Well, here goes nothing, I guess,” you whisper out before walking the few feet to your left where Jack stands with his parents.

You walk into the open arm Jack has held out for you, his arm slipping around your waist, his thumb lightly rubbing up and down to let you know he’s right there with you.

“Mom, Dad, this is Y/N,” Jack introduces you as you place your own hand over his on your waist, grounding yourself to him.

You’re so focused on trying to smile without looking like you’re in pain that you don’t see the look Jack gives you.

Ellen, however, does. Jack told her how nervous you were for tonight, begging her to not ask you too many questions and let you do the talking, no matter how well intended her questions are.

She sees the way her son looks at you, never having seen such an expression of love on his face before. She notices how tightly you’re gripping his hand, and the slight motion of his thumb.

She knew she liked you before this moment, Jack’s constant talking about you making her feel like she’s already met you before. But witnessing your moment with Jack before the two of you were aware they had arrived, seeing how comfortable you are with her son, and how much joy was on his face every time he looked at you was enough to sell her even further.

You reach you hand out for a handshake, trying to discreetly wipe your hand on the fabric of your sundress.

“Hi, It’s so nice to finally meet you two. I’m so sorry we haven’t been able to meet before now. Jack’s told me so much about you,” you say to both of them, but reaching your hand out towards Ellen first.

Ellen takes your hand. “Oh, honey, we’re not a hand shaking family. You see how Quinn is, we’re huggers,” she pulls you forward, wrapping you in what you can only describe as a motherly hug.

She squeezes you tightly before letting go, giving you a wide smile.

You turn to Jim, his arms already open and inviting.

You give him a quick hug, now knowing where Quinn gets his bear hugging tendencies from.

The six of you make your way into the large booth, you and Jack taking your spot in the middle of the booth with his parents sitting to his left and Quinn and Luke sitting to your right.

Jack’s hand makes its way to your leg immediately. Throughout the meal he’s never not touching you. Whether it’s his hand on your leg, his arm around your shoulders, or his hand resting in yours on the table, he always lets you know he’s right there with you.

Ellen and Jim ask you about your school work and what your plans are after you graduate. They ask you about your family and where you’re from, but they mostly let you set the pace of the conversation, which you’re thankful for.

The food comes and goes, and the anxiety you felt earlier melts away the longer you converse with the family.

Once the plates are cleared and dessert is ordered, the topic of hockey finally makes its way into the conversation of the night. You’re thankful, the spotlight finally being taken off of you for a few minutes.

“So, Quinny, hope you’re ready to get your ass beat tomorrow, because Luke and I won’t be taking it easy on you out there, Cap,” Jack changes the subject when there’s a lull in the discussion of how you ended up in New Jersey, giving you a squeeze and a quick wink, being able to tell you were getting a little talked out.

“Oh, I wouldn’t expect you to. Then it’d be too easy, considering we’re going to shut you out anyways,” Quinn teases back.

“I don’t know, Huggy, I think that C added a bit too much weight to your jersey, you’re looking slower and slower every time I see you. Or maybe it’s just that old age catching up with you,” Luke chimes in.

“I’m twenty-four you idiot. I’m still one of the youngest guys on my team,” Quinn rolls his eyes. You notice a lot of eye rolling among the three brothers when they’re together.

“I don’t know, I heard that twenty-four in hockey years is basically like you’re fifty in normal people years,” Jim adds, smirking over at Jack.

“Oh, yeah? So you’re saying you could out skate me if we were to get on the ice right now, huh, Dad?” Quinn challenges his father.

“Sure I could. Who do you think you got all of your talent from, hmm?”

All three of the boys respond in unison. “Mom.”

The table erupts in laughter.

“Alright boys, enough. Before you talk your father into doing something that could get him hurt,” Ellen speaks through the laughter, looking up at her husband while resting her head on his shoulder for just a moment.

You watch the two look at each other, seeing how much love they share.

You turn your head to look over at Jack, laughter still on his face. You can’t help but smile up at him. You love him with everything you have in you, and finally meeting his entire family just solidified that for you. Being able to spend time with the wonderful people that raised him makes you love him that much more. You look around the table at his two brothers, still laughing with each other. You hope that one day you can have this with Jack. A family with nothing but love to give each other.

As you’re picturing your future with Jack, he’s looking over at you, thinking about how lucky he is that Luke happened to stumble into your café on one of his first days in New Jersey. He thanks the universe for putting you in his path and for the fact that you, for some unknown reason, decided to love him out of all the people in this world.

Ellen once again observes the looks both you and Jack gave the other when the other wasn’t paying attention. She feels a warmth settling in her chest when she looks at the two of you. She can see how much you mean to Jack, and how much he means to you. She sees how well you get along with Luke and Quinn, both of them talking about you nearly as much as Jack does. You fit in so well with their family; your humor, kindness, and capacity to love her boys making her feel like you’re simply an addition to their dynamic that she didn’t know was missing until now.

Dessert comes and goes and the boys all argue over who’s paying for dinner until Jim sneaks his card to the waiter while they were too busy yelling at one another.

You all exit the booth and make your way to the sidewalk in front of the building, chit chatting a little more while walking to the parking garage before parting ways.

You’re walking with Quinn, Luke and Jim, listening to them bicker about tomorrow’s game. You notice Jack and Ellen fall behind, Ellen linking arms with her middle son as they walk.

“So, what do you think?” Jack asks his mom, watching you push Luke lightly, wondering what he said to make your head fall back in laughter.

“Jack, she’s great. But you already knew that. Not that you need it, but my approval was given the second you called and said you’d met someone,” Ellen responds, following his gaze, watching you pull Jack’s jacket tighter around your shoulders.

“God, I love her, Mom. More than I ever knew was possible,” Jack sighs out, letting his head fall onto the top of Ellen’s as they walk.

“I can see it, Jack. And I can see she loves you just as much,” Ellen starts, bringing her free hand up to pat Jack’s arm. “My only advice? Don’t let her go. She’s special, Jack. The way she gets along with your brothers, and the way they love her like she’s been part of this family for years, that’s rare.”

Ellen blinks back tears, just overwhelmed with happiness that Jack found someone that’s able to love him as much as she knows he deserves to be loved.

“I know, Mom. Trust me, I know. I don’t ever plan on letting her go. In fact,” Jack pauses, pulling back from his mom as you round the corner into the garage with his dad and brothers, “I bought this about two months ago. Not gonna give it to her just yet, but I couldn’t stand it any longer. Had to go ahead and buy her one,” he pulls out a small velvet box, popping it open and showing his mom the ring he picked out for you.

“Oh, Jack,” Ellen coos as she takes the box from his hand, looking at the princess cut diamond sitting on top of the gold band.

Her eyes fill with tears for the millionth time this evening when she looks up at Jack, finally letting them spill over. She keeps looking down at the ring and then back up at Jack while the tears stream down her cheeks.

Jack feels his own eyes sting at his mother’s reaction, knowing they’re happy tears.

“Jack, I’m so proud of you. And so happy for you,” Ellen sniffles through the tears. “She’s going to love it, honey. Just…let me know before you do it, yeah? And don’t forget her parents, you gotta let them know, too.” She wipes her eyes, closing the box and handing him back the ring.

“Already taken care of. Asked them when I bought it. Told me they’d love nothing more, but to just let them know when it’s happening. And to send them lots of pictures,” Jack chuckles, placing the box back in his pocket but not taking his hand off of it.

“Oh, yes, I want lots of pictures too. Don’t want to miss a second of the moment I finally get a girl!” Ellen exclaims, throwing her hands out in excitement.

“Don’t worry, I plan on flying everyone out when I do it. Know it’d mean the world to her to have everyone here to celebrate afterwards. Got it all planned out and everything,” Jack tells his mom, pulling her in for a hug.

Ellen squeezes him as hard as she can, letting every ounce of pride and love she has in her body flow into Jack through her hug.

“Oh, and just in case you get too far ahead and start planning the wedding before I propose,“ Jack breaks the silence, knowing how excited Ellen can get, “Luke already called dibs on being the flower girl.”

Ellen bursts into laughter so loud it alerts you and the rest of her family that they were no longer behind you.

You back track just a little to find Jack and Ellen walking towards you while hugging each other and laughing.

“Where’d you guys go? I thought you were right behind us?” you asked, noticing the puffy nature of Ellen’s eyes but choosing not to overstep and comment on it.

“Oh, honey, we were. And always will be. Right here behind you, whenever you need us,” Ellen says as Jack comes up beside you and tugs you into his side.

Her sentimental comment confuses you, but you catch Jack smiling down at you out of the corner of your eye, any confusion forgotten the second your eyes met his.

“Alright, I better catch up with the rest of my crew. You boys need your rest tonight, you have a big game tomorrow,” Ellen points at Jack.

She makes her way over to you, Jack letting go of you in order to let his mother pull you into a hug.

“Y/N, it was so lovely to finally meet you. I’ll see you at the game tomorrow, okay?” She pulls back, bringing her hands to rest on your cheeks. “Welcome to the family, dear,” she tells you, pulling you in for yet another hug.

She meets her son’s gaze behind you as she squeezes you, a knowing look shared between the two.

You squeezed her back, willing yourself not to cry as you digest the words you wish you could go back and tell yourself this morning, so you could let her know it would all be okay, and to leave Jack’s closet alone.

She finally pulls back, walking over and giving Jack a kiss on the cheek before giving the two of you a small wave before disappearing around the corner, following her husband and two other sons.

You turn to look at Jack, tears in your eyes.

“Does that mean she liked me? Or was she just being nice?” you ask him, wanting to make sure you really did make a good impression on his family.

“Darling, she meant it, trust me. You’re one of us now. Have been from the start, really. The only thing you’re missing is the last name,” he assures you, earning a laugh as you shake your head and grab his hand, leading him in the direction of his parked car.

He watches as you walk in front of him, feeling the weight of the ring box in his pocket, finding no humor in the idea of you officially becoming a Hughes, knowing that day is coming sooner rather than later.

[kyracooneyx23]

Favourite Pest - Kyra Cooney Cross

Kyra Cooney-Cross x matildas!reader

part 2 of this

summary: You find out what's caused your best friend to act so strange.

warnings - nothing except its terrible

It was so nice to finally be back in camp with the Matildas again. Despite how much you tried to hide it, your time away from the sport had been the toughest months of your life. You were so grateful for all the physios and trainers at Chelsea that had made your return in time for the world cup possible. 'I don't know whether I should be happy or not that your back.' Caitlin said from opposite you on the table.

'that's so rude Cait,' you say placing a hand to your heart to feign hurt 'You should be glad your favourite person is back so your not stuck with these two losers.' You tease causing Mackenzie and Alanna to gasp.

'I'm just saying, now that you're back Kyra's going to be back to her pesty habits again.' She groans shooting a look at the young midfielder who was staring at the back of your head for the last twenty minutes since you had sat down to have dinner. Caitlin smirks slightly seeing her teammate pining over her best friend who was completely oblivious to what was going on.

Katrina had warned the other Matildas about what was going on with Kyra, but it wasn't a surprise to any of them as they'd been sick of the two of you being a simp for each other but not noticing because you both shared the same singular braincell. They were all just praying for one of you to man up and confess so you could finally get together.

'Kyra's only ever a pest when you're around. Since you've been gone she's actually been quite pleasant.' You turn around in your chair to look at Kyra, shocked that your best friend could ever be anything but wild around your tillies teammates who were your favourite people to annoy together. When you catch her gaze you send her a playful smile but she quickly looks down at her plate making you frown.

'Yeah, you bring out the wild child in Kyra.' Alanna pipes in, throwing a piece of carrot at you, the vegetable only slightly missing your eye you whack the tall girl before dipping your hand in the leftover pasta sauce on your plate and smearing it all over her face. 'Oh, your going to regret that.' She responds pouring a glass of freezing water over your head. You screech hopping off your seat and trying to shake the water off of you, catching everyone in the rooms attention.

'Fuck you Lani.' You snap at her, causing Mini to tell you to watch your language. You roll your eyes walking towards the bathrooms to dry yourself off a little bit.

Whilst your off in the toilets Tony comes in to where the players are eating to tell everyone the room arrangements as he reads of the names Kyra feels her heart sink as she finds out she'll be rooming with you. Normally she would be excited knowing the two of you would end up staying way past your bedtime watching movies and planning pranks but now she felt sick. Just looking at you laughing with Caitlin and Alanna made her stomach do flips, she was choking on her words and you were halfway across the room, she couldn't bare to imagine all the ways she could mess up if she had to sleep in a room with you.

Mini must've noticed Kyra's discomfort and places a discreet hand on her knee. 'If its really that bad I can ask if me and you can room together instead, I'm sure Charli wouldn't mind rooming with y/n.' The older girl whispers in Kyra's ear.

'What if she finds out though?' Kyra asks dully fiddling with the fork in her hand. She didn't want you knowing that she had swapped rooms just to be away from you.

'It's ok, I'll make sure she doesn't' Katrina assures Kyra wrapping an arm around the blonde.

'thanks Mini.' she mumbles leaning into the warm arms of her motherlike figure.

You walked back into your room noticing half your team gone. You look around for Kyra but she is nowhere to be seen. You thought it was weird for the whole time you were apart all you could talk about was how you couldn't wait to be reunited but now you were here it felt like she was ignoring you. 'y/n/n!' Charli's voice rings through the room as she walks over you pulling both of your suitcases. 'I'm sorry, but you're stuck with me for now.' You laugh, the girls infectious mood making you feel brighter.

You walk alongside the defender making small conversation with each other until you reach your hotel room. You begin to unpack your suitcases, giving up after a few seconds. Instead deciding to get into bed and watch a movie which you hardly got halfway through until the two of you passed out, the jetlag properly kicking in.

The next morning everyone was up early for training. You made your way into the breakfast room very slowly still not fully awake, you keep your eyes peeled for Kyra but she isn't anywhere to be seen. You're about to sit down at the table with Macca, Lani and Cait but before you can place your stuff down an arm is chucked around your shoulders leading you towards a different table.

'It's time we get you, they've already got their fair share of you last night.' Ellie Carpenter, who also only recently came back from her ACL injury, tells you sitting you down next to her at a table with Sam, Hayley, Mary and Courtney. You greet everyone and join in with their conversation but your only half engaged noticing Kyra walk into the room with Mini completely avoiding you as she sits down at the table furthest from yours.

'Is something up with Kyra?' You ask the five girls who pause their conversation.

'She has seemed a little bit off recently hasn't she?' Hayley states everyone on your table looking at Kyra who isn't touching her food instead looking into the distance her usual smile absent from her face.

'I assumed the two of you would be joint by the hip now your back,' Mary adds 'has something happened?' You shrug not knowing why your supposed best friend was acting this way.

'Maybe she's just jetlagged.' Sam states looking at you with concern. She was one of the people who looked out for you the most, being your Chelsea teammate she felt obliged to make sure you were ok, always doing anything you needed. You don't say anything else eating your breakfast before Tony calls everyone outside for training.

Your walking outside with Macca after getting changed into your training gear. 'Y/N, could we please talk for a second?' Tony asks you once your on the pitch you check his expression to see if your in trouble not knowing why you would be, you hadn't pulled any pranks this camp, afterall the person who always helped you execute your plans was avoiding you.

'Yeah sure.' You follow him to the benches on the side of the pitch.

'Is everything ok with you and Kyra?'

'I'm not sure, why?'

He hesitates for a second before responding to your question. 'You were meant to room with her but she requested to swap with Charli, and usually you two are the best of friends, if somethings happened I don't want to it affect the game on Friday.' The words shock you, you were already confused about why Kyra was avoiding you and had no clue why she would ever request not to room with you. You had hardly spoken a word to her, you were her best friend surely she would of been excited to get to spend time with you now you were back. Tears begin to form in your eyes and you rub them away, angry at the way she was treating you when you didn't even know what you'd done.

'I'll talk to her about it, thanks for letting me know.' You tell the Swedish man walking away trying not to let your anger show. You focus on training hardly talking to anyone except Sam who you do all the partner drills with. It gets to the time when you do a mini scrimmage and you are on opposite teams than Kyra. You play for a while not having many opportunities to create chances until Kyra receives the ball and you're barely two meters away, she is debating who to pass to when you decide to go and slide tackle her. You take her legs out causing her to fall onto the floor backwards whilst you run off with the ball before passing it to Sam who slots it past Teagan.

You walk to stand next to her as the ball is kicked back into play but she moves away when you get near her, you frown but put you attention back on the scrimmage.

You continue playing a while longer before Tony calls everyone back, giving a short debrief on tactics and all that before sending everyone off to enjoy the rest of their days as it was only a half day today. You grab a drink of water squirting some on Alanna who wraps you up in a headlock before carrying you inside and chucking you onto a couch in the games room where everyone went for a bit of free time. You lay on the couch before you notice Kyra walking in with Charli, you get up and walk over to the pair.

'Kyra, I think we should talk.' You tell her, Kyra gulps she'd never seen you so serious before and it was scaring her. When she doesn't respond you link arms with her pulling her away with you up to your room. You sit on your bed patting Charli's bed motioning for Kyra to sit there, cautiously she sits waiting for you to break the awkward silence. 'No need to look so scared, i just wanna talk.' You say calmly even though you were beyond pissed at the girl.

'How's your knee?' Kyra asks anxiously watching as your clench your jaw in frustration.

'I'm not here to talk about my knee Kyra, I'm hear to talk about the way you've been acting.' You snap at her getting straight to the point.

'What about the way I'm acting?' She laughs lightly and you can see sweat beads forming around her forehead.

'Don't act dumb, I've been back for over 24 hours and you've spoken a single sentence to me. I've tried to get your attention but all you do is avoid me, and I'm left wondering what the fuck I've done to make you act this weird. I'm not the only one who's noticed literally everyone I've talked to has asked me if somethings going on with us. It's not fair being treated this way when you won't even tell me why.' Your voice breaks and you feel your eyes begin to water 'I was so fucking excited to be back here not only because I'm playing the sport I love but because I got to be back with one of my most favourite people in the world, so how do you think it's making me feel when she is ignoring me and requesting for us not to room together?' You wipe your eyes not wanting to look like a baby in front of Kyra. Her mouth is slightly opened and her face is filled with hurt.

'I'm so sorry y/n/n.' Is all she manages to say after a long awkward silence.

'Really?' You ask slightly disgusted at her childish behavior 'Is that all you're going to say, I think I at least deserve an explanation.'

'I want to tell you but I'm scared it will mess things up even more.' She whispers looking down at her feet and playing with the rings on her fingers, one of them being yours.

'Kyra, I've seen you do the most stupid stuff and we've gotten into fights like this before and shit much worse but we always figure things out, I think we've got too strong of a friendship for it to be ruined by a silly argument.' You state.

'Ok here goes nothing.' She whispers under her breath not loud enough for you too hear. 'This is going to sound really dumb but when you were gone I started getting these weird feelings and I was really confused but I just blamed them on me missing you but after a while they didn't go away. I kept getting butterflies in my stomach whenever you would call and you were all I could ever think about, I wanted to spend every second of my free time with you. Then when you walked in I went into like shock or something, I was so terrified of messing up I didn't know what to do with myself so then I thought I'd stay away from you and the feelings would go away but I still don't know why I'm feeling this way and I'm scared because your the best friend I've ever had and I just want to say I really really like you y/n. Please don't be mad.' She speaks so fast it takes you a while to comprehend what she's just said. When you don't reply immediately Kyra instantly regrets confessing, you probably think she's weird now, why would anyone ever fall in love with their best friend. She considers getting up and just running away, maybe she'd move to Hawaii or some place like that and change her name so people would forget a mess like her ever existed. She's about to get up and leave when you speak.

'Why would I be mad, I like you too Kyra.' You say and Kyra's mood lifts but only for a second as you complete your sentence, 'I mean why wouldn't I, your my best friend.' Kyra's cheeks flush bright red and she buries her face in her hands not sure what to do with herself.

'No I don't mean as in friend, I mean I like like you.' Kyra says slowly trying to help you process the information 'as in more than friends.' Your jaw drops at her words, you didn't realise she liked you like that.

There had been times before your injury when you had begun to feel differently around Kyra, but you'd never told anyone this because you'd rather get to have her as a friend than not have her at all. You understood now why she had avoided you, you probably would've done the same if you hadn't told Sam about it and she told you to accept the feelings but not close off Kyra.

You had tried to ignore the way Kyra made you sweat with nerves and the constant need you felt to impress her, assuming that she didn't feel the same way. But here she was saying that she did and you didn't know what to do about it.

Your brain was telling you not to do anything irrational but the rest of you wasn't listening. You got moved nearer to Kyra, placing a soft kiss on the girls lips. For a moment you were worried when she just froze but then she began kissing you back.

The two of you melted into the kiss, her arms wrapping around your neck as you placed your hands on her hips. It was soft and delicate, but it still managed to make your heartrate go wild. You'd only ever dreamed of it never imagining it to be real one day.

You pulled away when air became an issue watching as a large grin spread onto Kyra's face as the two of you sat in a comfortable silence.

'Do you forgive me now?' She asked and you laughed lightly.

'I will if you give me one more kiss.' You tease seeing her blush lightly. The aussie places her lips on yours again and you both fall back onto the bed. When your separated again she places a soft kiss on your nose.

'Do you want to head out and see the others?' Kyra asks you, causing you to shake your head.

'Can we just stay here for a while?' You ask 'I've only just got my best friend back, I think time just the two of us is well overdue.' A smile breaks out on Kyra's face and you match it on yours. You shuffle over slightly on the bed making room for Kyra next to you. She joins you the two of you lying so you can face the tv.

You turn the tv on and flick it onto a random channel, having a feeling that you and Kyra won't really be paying much attention. For a while you lay in silence, not saying anything. You're just glad that you've got your best friend back, even though it wasn't in the way you imagined and Kyra is relieved that she no longer has to act like a stranger around you, a massive weight lifted off her chest that she doesn't have to hide her feelings from you anymore.

'I'm sorry.' She whispers to you breaking the silence.

'Shut up stupid.' You shake your head not hearing it, placing a light kiss on her cheek. She gives you one in return before peppering kisses all over your face you laugh as she wraps her arms around you, lying on top of you and keeping you in position so you can't move. 'Fuck of Kyra.' You say but your words are muffled as she places a long kiss on your lips.

'I see what Caitlin meant by you being a pest.' you tell her laughing as she frowns at you.

'But you love me.' She grins and you shake your head slightly.

'Yep, you'll always be my favourite pest.'

sorry this is shit

[iamyourdailydoseofbi]

the platonic little sister relationship aegon has to someone like reader 😭 i hope we can see more, but like without the darkness of house of the dragon nor gore of it, just aegon ii staring at his little sister and vowing the world and even the throne for her, relinquishing it the first chance that he gets to rhaenyra whilst in tears holding his littlest sister 😭 he wishes no throne, no treasures, no liquor, only her safety and nothing more. i can imagine him trying to escape with her to the free lands because she is the only good in his world and he’d be damned if he let otto try and spoil the only kindness that the gods have give him. i can also imagine him stowing away on his dragon and flying on dragonback to the blacks to proclaim his loyalty with little reader bundled up in his cloak. i can imagine him fiercely protective but also relenting when he knows she is happy, being by her side as her older brother and uncle to her children to whomever it may be 😭

(sorry for the long anon, i just wish to see more 😭)

- familial issues anon 😔

THE HISTORY BOOK ON THE SHELF. ( HOTD x READER ) [ Pt. 2 ]

author notes: I promise, I'm gonna write a fluffy part 3 after this.. pairing: King Aegon ii Targaryen x Younger Sister! Reader ( Platonic ) prompt: When Blood and Cheese attack, the feeling of being safe in the Red Keep dies along with your sweet nephew and son. word count: 1, 000+ words

The night of Blood and Cheese, you had wandered into the children's bedchamber. Something pulled you from your dreams, telling you that the children needed you. You did not know a thing. The night was quiet and cool, the gentle pouring of rain filling the air. Everyone was safe and content. No harm could come to any of you with Vhagar in the City. But, as you got closer and closer, blissfully unaware.

You did not know the horrors that awaited you. Helaena held at knife point, her eyes so wide and full of silent horror. Your son cuddled up next to Jaehaera and Jaehaerys like he always did, all three of them dead asleep and unaware. Two men, one tall and imposing. The other thin and chuckling like a mad man. A debt they said, "A son for a son."

A son for a son. A son for a son. The world that that point is going silent and you think of was, why? Why? Why? Why?

You don't remember much of anything, no matter how much you tried to, just the muffled screams and sound of flesh being cut. You stumbled and wandered down the empty halls of the Red Keep, a dead look on your face. A thousand unspoken words on your tongue.

A son for a son. A son for a son. A son for a son. A son for a son. Where the fuck were the guards? Where were the maids? Where was everyone? They liked to snoop, so why this time were they gone?

You did not know when Helaena had departed from your side. You just vaguely remembered bumping into one of Aegon's friends, the drunken smile on his face falling. His face went pale and a stuttered call for Aegon.

Staring dead at the man, you could not remember his name, just that he was kind and one of Aegon's friends. Feeling your bottom lip wobble, you tried to hold back the sobs, emotions bubbling up. Feeling familiar hands on your shoulder, you dreadfully become aware of the wetness in your nightgown, though it was not your monthly blood or rain that soaked the linen. The realization trickled in that it was blood sinking in. Blood. Jaehaerys blood. Your son's blood.

"Hey, hey, hey. Look at me, look at me, not the blood. Tell me what's happened." A voice faintly orders, "Y/n, look at me. Look at me."

Blinking back the tears that bubbled up, your vision clears up, seeing Aegon standing right in front of you. He reeks of strongwine. But, the look on his face was deadly sober. Seeing his lips moving, you couldn't hear him, the haunting sound of Jaehaerys and your son slowly being beheaded still ringing in your ears. Son for a son. A son for a son. Jaehaerys was just a boy. He was barely six years old. A baby. Helaena's baby. Your boy was a year his younger, only five.

"You weren't there. Why weren't you there?" You hiccup, "You were always there. Why weren't you there?!"

"Y/n?"

"You said you'd be there if we were in trouble. That⎯That⎯That if we need you, you would be there. Why weren't you there? Why weren't you there?!" You scream out, your pained voice echoing loudly.

"Who's blood is that? Where is your son?" Aegon asks, his face and voice of panic.

Son for a son. A son for a son. Son for a son. A son for a son. Your son. Why him? He wasn't Aegon's heir. He wasn't Aegon's son in any way. He wasn't anyone's but your own. Your baby. Your sweet baby. Why did they pick him? He was no threat. He was just sleeping. He wasn't harming anyone.

"Gods damn it, Y/n! Where is your son?! Where is he?! Who's blood is that?" He demands, "Tell me, tell me."

"The...They took his head..The boy...My boy..Blood..He's in the bed...They came from the walls..Helaena.." You choke out, not able to properly string together a sentence.

Bursting into a fit of tears, the throne exploded into chaos the moment tears were spilled, orders and demands being spouted out to anyone in ear shot. Why? Why? Why? The Red Keep was safe. Aegon told you it was safe. It was supposed to be safe. That they would not dare to harm any of you. It was supposed to be safe.

'You will never have to marry again. You and your son are under my protection. No harm shall come to you whilst you stay in the Red Keep, sweet sister. I swear upon it.' He had said, tucking back a strand of hair from your face.

'No harm shall come to you whilst you stay in the Red Keep, sweet sister. I swear upon it.'

'No harm shall come to you whilst you stay in the Red Keep, sweet sister.

'No harm shall come to you...I swear upon it.'

When did your big brother become such a fucking liar?

Watching you collapse to the ground, Aegon swiftly follows you to the ground, cuddling you close to his chest. He may have been a little tipsy, but now he was dead sober. You stumbled in, looking more like a ghost than a person. Your hair down, you always loved to leave it down when going to bed. Your nightgown, white with little butterflies sewn into the hem, now stained in blood. Who's? He did not know and dreaded finding out.

Stroking your hair tenderly, he prayed, truly prayed for the first time since his youth. Not for your safe return home. Not for his Father's love or a fragment of his time. Not for the Seven to rid him of all the bad in him. He prayed that you were just spouting out about some nightmare. That this was just like all those times in your youth, when you'd sneak into his chambers. A whimpering mess, spouting about the monster under your bed.

"It's just a dream. It's just a dream." Aegon tries to reassure, not sure if he was trying to convince you or himself.

"Aegon, what⎯what⎯what do we do?" One of his friends stutters out, a shell shocked look on his face.

"Get the fucking guards! Wake the fucking Keep up! Damn it!" Aegon bellows, his face flushing red from anger.

Struggling to figure out what to focus on, he couldn't keep up as the Red Keep seemingly exploded. Guards are everywhere. Orders being spouted out. He wasn't sure if his voice was one of them. It was all just a blur. This could not be real. This had to be a nightmare or a figment of his drunken mind. Soon enough he would awake. You'd come into his chamber's like you do every morning, warning him that your Mother was on her way. Yes, yes, that was it. He would wake up and everything would be good.

"Aegon. Aegon." Someone calls out for him, his grip tightening on you instinctively.

"Your grace, the Prince Jaehaerys and Prince⎯" A guard stops speaking, the look on his face enough to make his blood cold.

"No, they are alright. Tis' just a minor wound, no?" Aegon shakes his head, not wanting to think of the worse. "Just a bloody nose or.."

"Your grace.." The guard shakes his head, "I am afraid tis' more grave than a bloody nose."

Feeling tears bubbling up in his eyes, he shakes his head, laughing bitterly in disbelief. This could not be true. This had to be some jest. Some dream of his. There was no way that his son and your own were dead. The Red Keep was safe. Rhaenyra would be a fool to attack with Vhagar flying above. Hearing your wails grow louder and more heart wrenching, it felt like the world just fucking snapped. Tears of sadness morphing into red hot anger. His face hardening.

They killed your son. They killed his son, his heir. They fucking made you cry. They made you and Helaena watch. Fuck the peace treaty. Fuck being kind and being cordial. Fuck doing this the proper way. Fuck all of them. He'd killed them. He'd kill them all for this. He'd kill anyone who dared to do this. He'd fucking murder all of their bloodline for this. This was war. This was fucking war.

"I'll kill them! I'll kill them all! Traitor's and murderer's!"

---

@lovelykhaleesiii

@fragileheartbeats

@nightvers

@zaldritzosrose

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Hiii!! Can I make a request? Its kinda long tho so I totally understand if you don't wanna write it !! :)

so basically what I had in mind is rhys' sister!reader x az, she got kidnapped by hybern on the day rhys's mother died and everyone had thought his sister died too but she didn't she was kidnapped and her memories were erased. After the war with hybern the ic runs into her and shes all bloody and injured because turns out she was fighting hybern soldiers as well because she finally saw an opportunity to be free. As soon as rhys saw her he recognises her but before he could even utter a word, she faints, so they take her to night court and nurses her back to health. When she wakes up she gets really emotional when she sees rhys because she feels like she should know him but she doesn't cuz she doesn't have any memories, later they get helion to fix her memories and there's a very emotional brother sister reunion. Az finds out he's her mate but he doesn't tell her and rhys is very protective of reader cuz he just got her back so he forbids az from dating her or anything, but she doesn't know that so she thinks az doesn't like her back so she's devastated over that. I didn't think of what would happen after that so you can come up with the rest but pleeeeeaaasee give az and reader a happy ending. Also can you include that reader had dreams of az the way rhys had dreams of feyre? 🥹

Thank you and I hope you have a good day!! <33

I switched it ever so slightly, hope you’ll still enjoy it!🤍🫧

Lost and found

It’s your hair he sees first. There’s something in the onyx gleam that screams familiar. That is different from any other shade of black. Rhys’s mother always said that they bore all shades of the night sky in their hair. As a gift from the gods. It wasn’t pitch black, no. There was depth. Stars even. They gleamed. You gleamed. He nearly sank to his knees once you turned your bloodied face towards him. It felt as if looking in the mirror. He had pictured you in his head. Had made Feyre paint you. Paint you how he imagined you would have looked all grown up. If you had that chance if you were still with him. His little northern star. And you were here now. In front of him. Sward in hand as if you weren’t sure if you were supposed to stab him or leave him be. Shaking and so frail. Line Feyre was. Just like Rhys had found his mate. Broken and confused. Unsure of anything. Jumpy and scared. “Yn”, it’s a whisper but from the way your body shivers Rhys knows that the name speaks to you. Does his voice speak to you? Do you even remember? “I just want to be free”, you mutter, “Help me get free”. Rhys watches your body sag and his legs move forward before he can even think. Arms reaching for your body. Desperate to break your fall. To save you from this at least in hopes this would somehow make a difference.

Rhys sits by your side from the moment Madja lets him in. She’s doubtful about you waking up soon. Even more doubtful if it’s good for Rhys to be there. And a part of him knows it too but he can’t help it. It’s as if he’s pulled to you. By the need to see you. To know that he hasn’t just imagined you. Your eyes flutter open after a week of nothing but shallow breathing. Your body feels heavy and achy. The walls surrounding you are unfamiliar. But there are no shackles. No ropes. You’re in a big bed. With silk sheets around you. And then your eyes land on a male sitting in the chair. He’s watching you. But watching you as if observing a wild animal that might flee after a move too sudden.

“How are you feeling?”, he speaks up and his voice alone scratches something deep inside your brain. Something you should know. But you don’t. You can’t reach. “I’m Rhys. You’re in my court. You’re safe”, he continues, leaning in slightly, moving to reach for your hand that you quickly pull closer to your chest. You see the hurt flash in his eyes. But it disappears almost immediately. He bares your features. His eyes are your eyes and that’s enough to make your heart pick up. Is he family? A far down-the-line relative?

“You look at me like you know me…”, you mutter, feeling your eyes burn, “but i don’t know you”. Rhys takes a shaky breath and you could swear his hands are trembling. But he smiles regardless, “That’s okay, we have time”. You watch him for a moment, a stranger in front of you. They said that you had no one. There was no one out there for you. “What if I don’t want to know you?”, that’s a blow that leaves a permanent mark on his face, the frown line between his eyebrows. “That’s okay too. I won’t force you”, Rhys’s voice grows shaky, “All you need to know is that you are safe. I and my people will keep you safe. You told me that you wanted to be free. You’re free now”. He stands up quietly. Pushing the chair to the side. You catch a glimpse of a female standing at the door as he moves to leave the room. The door isn’t fully closed when a sob slips past his lips. She embraces him and it’s all muffled by the closed door.

“She’s wiped clean”, Helion’s words send another blow at Rhys’s chest. “There might be bits of her past there but… this will have to be gradual Rhys, if it all was taken from her, getting all the memories back might fry her brain out”, Helion crosses his arms over his chest watching you in one of his gardens. Hand outstretched to one of his Pegasus. He remembered the little girl. Sat on his knee. Mischievous little thing, he had called you. Now it felt like looking at a ghost. “But is there even a slither of hope?”, Rhys asks, desperately trying to cling to the future where you would recognize him. Helion sighed, “Take this advice from me, someone older than you”, turning to face Rhys, whose troubled face had grown ashy over the past month. “Creat memories with her from now. Build her up from nothing and that alone might make her remember” But how could he? How could anyone just wipe out the grief and terror? The feeling of losing someone and then finding them back once more.

Azriel had sunk to his knees in the room you had laid unconscious for a week. He knew you were mates even then. Both young and careless. He remembered your first kiss. Rushed and messy in one of Rhys’s father’s stables. You had pulled him out. Had been his haven ever since your mother had taken both him and Cass in. Losing you had messed with his head. He had mourned you just the same. Had closed off his heart for anyone. Meaningless fling got easier with time but he still caught himself thinking of you. Calling out your name. Leaving the females snarling at him.

Azriel thought that glimpses of cells. Of you locked up. Scared and crying were nothing but a fickle of imagination. He saw you drawing night skies. He saw you kill. But now he knew that it had been your unconsciousness calling to him. Zaps of bond binding you both connecting momentarily. He hated himself. He hated that he did nothing. That he had let go. Had given up. But they had found the body. Berried someone. Someone who wasn’t you. Azriel only visited once. That one time and then he erased himself out of the equation. Because maybe it was better that way. Because he wasn’t worthy of your love. He couldn’t protect you after all.

Rhys was happy with that choice too. It was petty but he didn’t want to share you with anyone. Not that he had you. Any part of you. Because nothing changed. He talked. Told you stories but you just shook your head. You didn’t know him. You didn’t trust him. And nothing he did made any breakthrough.

It was the night Azriel had accidentally walked into the study where you and Rhys were. Ready to drop off the reports he had written for the week’s work. His black shirt is slightly unbuttoned. Sleeves rolled up. Your eyes had drifted away from the painting towards the man standing in the hallway. Man your eyes always seemed to find. Man who had been avoiding you ever since you got here. It painted you slightly. It was the only person you seemed to want to reach but he was the only one keeping the furthest away.

Your eyes landed on his arms. The dim light dancing on the black ink snaking up his left arm. The book you held slipped past your fingers. Clattering to the floor with a thud. “Y/n, dear, is everything alright?”, Rhys was in front of you in an instant. Worried face searching yours. “Your left shoulder”, you muttered, pointing at Azriel. He halted in his movement. The handful of papers stuck midair. “Show me your left shoulder”, you muttered.

Azriel’s eyes looked up at you, “What for?”, it was colder. He was protecting whatever was there. Holding onto the last part of you he had. You stepped past Rhys. “I know that… pattern”, you muttered. “It’s old Illyrian”, Rhys cut in but Azriel only lifted his hand. “Please, I…”, the fuzziness around you ripped as you reached for your dress, yanking the sleeve off, bearing your shoulders to Azriel. His jaw clenched, as he looked away for a moment. And then he ripped his shirt open. And there it was. The same pattern all across his shoulder as well.

Taking a shaky breath you let your head fall into your hands, “You chose it…” A light sob slipped past Azriel’s lips, “I did”, he nodded watching you. “Because you were a bitch about it”, turning to Rhys you pointed a finger at him. “You matted my baby sister behind my back?”, Rhys hissed, the jumble of emotions was making everyone drown. “Mom knew about it, she approved”, you whispered, “Where’s Mom?” Your eyes looked up at Rhys. He slowly shook his head. Another wave of flashes floats through you. You reached back in a frantic breath, “Where are my wings?” An angry tear slipped down Rhys’s face. “Where are they? Where is she?”, you looked among them. Feeling panic slowly drowning you. “Come here”, Azriel pulled at your head, bringing your face to his chest. “No, don’t smother me”, you pushed against him, but Azriel held on tight, holding your shaking form, feeling the burning gaze of his high lord, “I’ve got you. It will settle. Just breathe with me”.

[aeruia]

⌕. WIND BREAKER

⟳. “ DID I IMPRESS YOU? ”

how would the wbk boys impress you to catch your attention or they want you to praise them?

character/s : sakura haruka , suo hayato , togame jo , kaji ren , umemiya hajime , kiryu mitsuki .

warning/s : suo’s part is like 50/50 so uhm !! you can decide if it’s part of it or not ! , ooc characters ( im sorry sighs )

word count : 100+ each

note : i have motivation to write so might as well make the best of it !! i’m also planning to make suo’s part a separate fic uhm..

sakura haruka — 119 words

i don't know but i think sakura would try to impress you by showing how he’s good at fighting but when you praise him for that or he got your attention because of that he gets flustered easily and tries to brush it off saying he’s not doing it to impress you when it’s clearly written on his face.

you can only laugh when he says that you’ll probably won't even believe anything he says and just look at his face to see if he meant it or not.

“ where have you been all these years my knight in shining armor? ” you teased him, your hands clasped together in return he looked away with a blush on his face.

suo hayato — 165 words

bro doesn't even need to impress you because you’re already impressed by him !! he’s a gentleman everyone knows and that’s also how you're already impressed because why is he so gentle? so whenever you two are together people will mistake that you and suo are dating because of how considerate suo whenever he’s with you.

you’ll never even catch him irritated whenever you let him carry your school bag or the things you bought, he’s just there following you with a smile on his face.

“ why are you doing this every time we are together? ” you asked as you take a spoonful of ice cream in your cup and eat it. “ i’m close to falling for you, you know. ” you said half jokingly when he chuckled as he wiped the ice cream from the side of your mouth. “ i’ll wait for the day you fall for me. ” he replied making you speechless and a blushing mess as you just continue to eat your ice cream.

togame jo — 118 words

did a bit of research and seems like he plays go and shogi so uh he would probably invite you to watch him play with shogi with someone.

he knew he would win it and obviously you are in awe saying how good he was at shogi so you invite him to play with you after he plays a couple of rounds. you weren't good at playing shogi but you wanna test out your skills.

he beat you once or twice then after that then lets you win every round. “ wow, togame i didn't know i’m the only one who can beat you! ” you quip making him chuckle as he nodded. ” guess you're too good at this game. ”

kaji ren — 166 words

you heard that the music playing in his headphones are something that can damage his eardrums but it seems like his ears don't even hurt so you would let him try one of your favorite music to see if he likes it.

when you two were taking a walk around the town, you were rambling about your favorite band and how cool and good their music are. kaji didn't let that slip in his mind and listened to their music when he got home.

the next day, you suggested one of their songs and his response was he had listen to it and taking a liking to the song and it was now on his playlist. your eyes widen and smiled. “ really? its a good music isn’t? you got a good taste in music! ” you praise as you pat his back as if he’s choking on something. it just made you more even happy that he has one of your very favorite song in his playlist.

umemiya hajime — 195 words

you helped him plant some seeds in the rooftop since you don’t have anything to do and everybody knows that umemiya is a man that cares for everyone. let’s imagine umemiya has like one of those portable stove hidden in the rooftop 😭😭 so you were flabbergasted when you just saw him casually take out a portable stove. he remembers that he doesn't have enough ingredients to cook something so he apologizes for that and quickly run into kotoha’s cafè to get a few ingredients. when he got the ingredients you just watched him.

you watch the white haired man cook something in front of you — you didn't even know he has the skills to cook! clearly you’re impressed since you can’t cook to save your life. ( if you would even cook it’s burnt. ) he probably learned it with kotoha. when he finished cooking he gave you a portion of food he had cooked for you two. you gave it a ten out of ten. it was delicious as you thanked him for it.

“ never knew you could cook, maybe i’ll hire you as my personal chef in the future. ” you said jokingly making umemiya snort.

kiryu mitsuki — 145 words

if you invite him to play a game with him he will accept it without hesitation even if you're bad at it or you just started playing he would help you and will still play with you even if you’re the worst player in the game.

would probably try to impress you to fish out some compliments from you and it works like a charm. “ damn, didn’t knew you’re so good at this! ” you would say as he just laughed wholeheartedly.

he probably won’t even try to hide that he’s trying to impress you. “ i should be good at all these games so i can carry you and impress you, y’know. ” he says that with a smile plastered on his face.

if you two are not talking about games or anything you’re gonna comment about how good he smells because of the perfume he uses.

date posted 062324

[ghettogirly]

how do you think armando would react if He is too much in love with the reader, but she is younger than him (I mean Armando is obviously twenty-eight but the reader is still in his 20s) I would appreciate it very much, I love you 💗🌷✨

I don't know how many times I've ordered, but here I am again 🛐🙃♥️

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𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍:

𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐆𝐀𝐏!

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐗 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑!𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

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-> synopsis: how would armando be when loving a girl who’s 10 years younger than him? armando is 32 and the reader is 22.

-> theme: age gap, comedy, suggestive.

-> format: headcanon/drabble.

-> warnings: mention of age gap relationships, mature language.

-> authors note: i’m going to be putting updates out slower since I’m not that well guys. nevertheless i hope you enjoyed! I love your requests!! 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝! 🌸

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[🌸] 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆:

-> older!armando would literally first meet you when he picked his son, Alejandro, up from class.

-> it would be the first time meeting you as you’re a new teacher in the school.

-> so when he came to pick up his son, it’s safe to say you was utterly shocked at the resemblance and at the way they both acted.

-> Armando displayed the same cheekiness Alejandro did, smiling at you as his son was going on about his day.

-> “Parece que realmente disfruta de tus clases.”

-> “he’s a lot like you.”

-> “they say that, gotta come see from the source though, eh?”

-> oh.

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[🌸] 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍:

-> you found out that Armando is divorced ,

honestly you was kind of happy.

-> it may be inappropriate to admire your own student’s father but what can you do if he’s the most attractive man you’ve saw in your life.

-> he noticed your staring but didn’t mind, he thought you was the most beautiful woman to exist too.

-> so he took his chances and asked you out.

-> to which you accepted.

𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐀 𝐁𝐘 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐀.

-> he took you to an 90s themed restaurant where old school rnb was playing, wanting you to hear the music that was around when he was younger.

-> getting to know each other, you found out that he was a business owner. Having multiple offices around Miami helping those to build their perfect house.

-> “all those beautiful houses you see in Miami, i’ve built most of them.”

-> “i never would’ve imagined that’s the work you do.”

-> seeing him laugh and smile literally made your heart warm. “what can i say? i like getting my hands a bit dirty.”

-> you nearly choked on your drink. Armando was definitely enjoying seeing you flustered, making these tiny comments from even the moment he met you.

-> ordering food, you both ate and enjoyed each others presence.

-> “¿Te importa que sea mayor que tú?”

-> your eyes widened at the question. Putting your utensils down, you looked up at him to which he waiting for your answer.

-> “You would be the oldest man i’ve ever spoken to romantically but i don’t object to the idea of it.”

-> He smiled at that. “Good.”

-> after the date, he drove you back home as it was a little bit after 9pm. You thanked him and then kissed his cheek as a thank you.

-> wanting more, he lightly turned your face to his and gave you a peck on your lips. Making you blush at his bold advance.

-> “Hopefully i’ll see you again soon.”

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[🌸] 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄:

-> it’s been a couple months into yours and Armando’s relationship.

-> Honestly one of the healthiest relationships you’ve been in.

-> he always picks you up from work, not wanting you to walk back anymore, especially after a long day.

-> you always stay over at his on the weekend, relaxing with him and Alejandro by watching some movies or even going out to the park.

-> The age gap between you and Armando can be visible at some points, especially when it comes to social media.

“Nena, ¿sabes qué es tiktok?”

-> You nearly laughed at him even mentioning it. “What do you know about tiktok?”

“My employees told me to download it but i just don’t get the app.”

“Stick to facebook babe.”

-> even with things like his email, you noticed that he was using @yahoo.com

“Who uses yahoo email?!”

“Me.”

-> nevertheless, you wouldn’t trade the relationship for anything else, inheriting both a family and a man who loves you for you. Bombarding you with compliments everyday.

-> “You look absolutely stunning today babe.”

“New hair?”

“Looks great on you.”

-> Life was great, even with a man who’s 10 years older than you.

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[🌸] 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒: 

“Parece que realmente disfruta de tus clases.”: he seems to really enjoy your classes.

“ ¿Te importa si soy mayor que tú?”: Do you mind if i’m older than you?

“Nena, ¿sabes qué es tiktok?”: Baby, what is tiktok?

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[🌸] 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @dyttomori @tyneshaaa @shurisgf @milliumizoomi @sarcasticbitchsblog @armandosbabymama @thedarkworldofhananerea @amplifiedmoan @deadpool15 @wizewhispers @5tarlan7

[princessbrunette]

au catalogue ♡

it has come to my attention that i write a lot on this blog, so sometimes the explanation of the lore behind one of my au’s gets a little lost. in this catalogue, i will detail the basic backstory behind each of my universes.

JOHN B ROUTLEDGE

♡ outlaw!john b:

the two of you met on your land when he’d snuck into your barn to rest after being on the run from the sheriff — being falsely accused of a crime. you allow him to stay, and in return he becomes a part time farmhand and full time boyfriend. overtime, you fall in love. the events of this au are told through my full length fic; hold me kiss me.

♡ dad!john b:

you accidentally fall pregnant with john b due to your shared breeding kink. you end up with one boy one girl!

♡ dbf!john b:

self explanatory. your dads best friend who’s a little younger than your dad — having met down at the local grill. your father trusts him a lot as he is known for his sweet and patient nature, but can’t help but notice you — the desperate and lustful daughter who can’t keep your paws off. he’s constantly scolding you for teasing him and shaking his head at you, but will still pay you a visit when he knows your dads not home.

♡ stepbro!john b

when your mother met big john routledge, she fell in love and decided to leave her world behind to pursue treasure hunting with her new partner in crime— thus dumping you on the chateau doorstep with nothing more than a few suitcases. feeling bad for you, john b tries to take on the big brother role — but a year and a half later the two of you are finding it hard to resist eachother. you are constantly throwing yourself at him, the two of you physically closer than one can imagine which people find odd. he resists you for a long time, but when jj tells john b that he’d be happy to step up and ‘look after you’, your step brother makes a move.

♡ apocalypse!john b

once a leader, always a leader — john b is in charge of patrols, heading outside the gates of your safe zone kitty hawk to find supplies and clear the area of the undead. after the tragic death of sarah cameron, john b is 10x more protective and serious, not allowing you to ever come with them on supply runs. he can always rely on the doting camp-nurse to fuss over him and make him feel better after a long gruelling day beyond the gates. the details to the apocalypse!au can be found here.

♡ toxicex!john b

after the two of you broke up due to you feeling neglected by the boy because of his love for treasure hunting with his friends, you can’t help but want to be around him. as detailed in this post, john b will always be there for you — even if he’s snarky and rude in the process.

♡ firefighter!john b

john b and his best friend jj maybank have joined the firefighting department. excited to save pretty women from buildings and claim their hero titles, they’re disgruntled to find they have been lumped with the ‘newbie’ jobs for a while — meaning they must drive around on patrol for potential fire hazards all day and save cats from trees. as they work their way slowly up the firefighter ladder, they find themselves short for money and looking for a roommate — who ends up being the sunshiney receptionist in their building who sees them as the heroes they are. after spending a lot of time together, john b and jj realise that they’re happy to share more than just their love for firefighting.

♡ jedi!john b

the jedi was seemingly of the purest heart. known for his defensive fighting style (much like obi wan kenobi) john b has always wanted to do the right thing and abide by jedi council rules. when the jedi was a young boy, his father the jedi master disappeared without a trace or even a goodbye. believing he had died in battle all these years, john b went about his life with only the tales of how great his father was. entering his early twenties, he feels in the force that his father is still alive out there — and sets off to find him. during his travels he meets you, damsel in distress in the shape of a naboo princess. more details to the star wars au can be found here.

JJ MAYBANK

♡ outlaw!jj

jj the outlaw is a regular at the saloon you work at, always having been a bit of a brute. he’s constantly on the run from the sheriffs and getting thrown into a cell after minor misconducts and bar fights. he’s always checking out your ass as you bring him his whiskey and will always make some kind of comment regarding whether or not you’d like to wear his hat and ride a cowboy. where this would make you turn your nose up at anyone else, you can’t help but feel special gaining his attention being such a well known outlaw from out of town. sometimes after your shifts you get cozy in a booth with him and he tells you wild, exaggerated tales of his crazy life.

♡ farmhand!jj

the slutty farmhand hired by your father to work on the barn, but spends a lot of his time working on you instead. the two of you are a total secret, loving the thrill of sneaking around — but the boy hopes to marry you one day.

♡ linecook!jj

the story told in this full length fic details how you met jj, the linecook at the restaurant you waitress for. this au is acclaimed to be one of the most husband-material jj’s — many discussions having followed regarding him knocking you up and making you food whenever you please. this au is also considered a classic on this blog as it were one of the first au’s i developed.

♡ campcounselor!jj

you’re the daughter of the campsite owners, the spoiled princess who gets everything she wants and everybody loves her. jj is the class-clown camp counselor hired for the summer because he struggled to find a job. overtime he realises how great he is with the kids, and you realise how badly you wanna fuck him. each night isn’t complete without you inviting the blonde back to your luxury cabin in the woods to sate your needs. he can’t believe his luck but doesn’t dare question it. overtime, the two of you realise you’re starting to fall for eachother.

♡ mascot!jj

in this au, jj heads to university. there he meets you, the pretty and shy cheerleader. taking the job as the school’s mascot, running around in a giant animal costume to hype up the crowd — he realises it’s his chance to get close to you. though all the girls on the team seemingly adore jj due to his smooth, funny and slick mouth — he fears he will always be seen as the sweaty, class clown mascot guy after every game. noticing the star football player rafe has taken an interest in you, he decides to step it up.

♡ bbf!jj

you can’t resist your older brothers best friend, jj maybank. he’s always at your house, playing on the playstation with your sibling downstairs, wandering the halls, or ‘accidentally’ walking into the bathroom whilst you’re showering. though you know it’s wrong, you can’t keep your hands off eachother.

♡ bsf!jj

jj maybank has been your best friend since you were young. the two of you knew everything about eachother, so it should feel like a sibling relationship right? wrong. the two of you have always been very hands on, flirty almost. whether you’re sitting on his lap at a party or curling up next to him in your bed — people can never quite tell if the two of you are a thing. the two of you struggle to distinguish this too, as your urges grow stronger you test the waters, beginning to perform ‘favours’ for eachother. what begins as jj massaging your sore tits late at night when you can’t sleep, becomes you ‘returning the favour’ and giving him head when he asks for it, which then becomes him fingering you in his lap when you’re needy. the lines are blurred, and you try to tell yourself you’re still best friends — scared of ruining things, but will rip away anyone of the opposite gender in a jealous rage.

♡ dealer!jj

jj is your favourite dealer in town. you’re always visiting him to buy your weed, and he always offers to smoke you out for a cheap price or even free. truthfully, he just enjoys the company in his little shack of a house, loving the way you get more touchy and needy the higher you get. the blonde ensures to feed you water to prevent cotton mouth, and even lets you lazily ride his thigh when you get inevitably horny!

♡ apocalypse!jj

never losing his sense of humour, jj is the master at making bombs from scratch and going out on patrols to ensure the safety of kitty hawk. his pretty nurse is always there to patch him up when he gets home. details to the apocalypse au can be found here.

♡ spiderman!jj

your best friend jj is the friendly neighbourhood spiderman… but you don’t know that. being his shy best friend studying to be a nurse, you’re open to your bestie about how much you lust towards the cities superhero, and jj tries his best to keep his mouth shut. inevitably, you figure things out — and then you become the nurse he visits in the middle of the night to get patched up after a particularly rough night. he constantly teases you about your crush on him and the tension only grows.

♡ piercer!jj

working along side tattooartist!pope, jj is the king of giving piercings. knowing him through mutual friends, your crush only grows when you visit him to get your nipples pierced and he totally talks you through it. after you start dating, you’re constantly hounding him about other girls getting their tits pierced by him so he’s gotta eat you out until you think reasonably.

♡ stepbro!jj

luke found the woman of his dreams and decided to finally get his shit together and try to be a better father. with luke’s new woman, comes you her daughter — the bunch of you living under one roof. luke spends a lot of his time in AA and working, and your mother works long shifts too — leaving the two of you alone. you’re as innocent as they come, but with that comes sexual curiosity — and who better to confide in about that than your big step bro? jj is happy to help, so long as you keep it hush.

♡ babydaddy!jj

after knocking you up, jj freaks out about becoming just like his father and leaves — before returning deep into your pregnancy to step it up and be there for you. it’s hard at first to put your pride aside, but you give him a chance after he begs you to let him back into your life. he keeps a respectful distance of course, but picks up extra shifts at work and is at your beck and call whenever you need him. once the baby is born, he’s spending even more time around you — showing up at your doorstep unannounced and finding excuses to come inside to spend time with his family. eventually, he weasels his way into your bed to look after you and help you unwind.

♡ toxic!jj

jj is your toxic boyfriend who lets his fears and insecurities get the best of him, resulting in him being a little mean and manipulative. talking to another guy at a party? he’s making a scene, beating the guy bloody before pulling you away to yell at you. not in the mood to be all over him? he’s accusing you of not wanting to be with him anymore, telling you that he ‘knows’ you’re going to dump him. despite the arguments, the night always ends in two ways — either him drunk, crying into your shoulder and begging you not to leave him — or having you pinned beneath him, fucking you dumb on his cock.

♡ toxicex!jj

the ex boyfriend that you’re still fucking and is obsessed with you. he’s constantly blowing up your phone everytime a guy likes your instagram, asking if you’re fucking him too, and scaring off any guy who dares make a move on you at a party by pulling out his pistol and threatening him.

♡ criminal!jj

jj maybank who got in with the wrong crowd and wound himself up in jail. you’re the sweet thing in little dresses that pouts in his visiting booth, asking when he’s getting out — and he promises you hundreds of dates when he’s released. upon finally getting out, the two of you can’t keep your hands off one another. he’s still shady, hanging out with the wrong kinds of people, and jail hardened him — but you love him all the same.

♡ shittysoundcloudrapper!jj

feeling inspired after one drunken freestyle night at the chateau, jj convinces himself he’s destined to become a rapper. writing, producing, and recording his own stuff — jj truly feels he has a knack for it. his stuff isn’t awful, just cheaply produced and vulgar. he likes to think his inspiration is partynextdoor — taking extra care in recruiting his pretty best friend to pose scantily clad for his single cover, or to moan on the backing track of his songs. he’s willing to do anything to get you on board.

♡ firefighter!jj

john b and his best friend jj maybank have joined the firefighting department. excited to save pretty women from buildings and claim their hero titles, they’re disgruntled to find they have been lumped with the ‘newbie’ jobs for a while — meaning they must drive around on patrol for potential fire hazards all day and save cats from trees. as they work their way slowly up the firefighter ladder, they find themselves short for money and looking for a roommate — who ends up being the sunshiney receptionist in their building who sees them as the heroes they are. after spending a lot of time together, john b and jj realise that they’re happy to share more than just their love for firefighting.

♡ streamer!jj

jj takes up streaming after combining his love for playing games and yapping. discovering he has a knack for it, he doesn’t expect to blow up the way he does. as much as he’s all about the games, he’s pretty oblivious to the fact his audience is mostly female, trying to gain his attention in the chat box or on his fan discord, or by making thirst trap edits of him to r&b tracks on tiktok, sexualising his body language or facial expressions on stream. he doesn’t pay it much mind though, happily in love with you — his supportive girlfriend who occasionally makes an appearance in his streams.

♡ onlyfans!jj

needing a bit of extra cash, jj starts to anonymously sell faceless videos of himself jerking off for money. not realising how successful he’d be, he continues to make videos pleasing himself on his account. after a couple of dates with jj, the two of you really clicking — he casually mentions that it’s something he does for a living, and you shyly suggest helping him out. at first it starts with helping him shoot, getting hot and flushed behind the camera as you pan down on him fisting at his cock — and eventually you decide to star in a few of his premium videos. depending on preference, streamer!jj can be the earlier version of onlyfans!jj if so desired.

♡ jedi!jj

more like anakin skywalker with his offensive fighting style — jj is the more reckless jedi of him and john b. when it’s discovered that bounty hunters are planning to take you, the princess of naboo — jj is hired as your knight to protect you. so nervous about the whole ordeal, you order him to sleep in your bed with you to make sure you’re safe through the night. with this, you can’t help but get physically closer to the jedi, pleading with him to break the council rules and be with you secretly. more details on the star wars au can be found here.

♡ bodyguard!jj

you’re the spoiled kook influencer who has recently gained some stalkers, and jj is the pogue bodyguard hired by your parents to protect you during this time as you continue to attend events to further your career. the lore behind the two of you can be found here.

RAFE CAMERON

♡ boxer!rafe

considered a classic on this blog, boxer!rafe is one of the most beloved au’s i created. a little bit into the future, rafe takes up boxing to work out his rage problems and finds it a great outlet, emotionally settling down and finally finding his own. he goes pro, and meets you — the daughter of the stadium owner at the venue he fights at. you’re sweet, always lingering round the gym or stadium watching him prepare for fights, hanging around the ropes to ask him questions and feed him water when he needs it. he’s obsessed with your soft nature, whisking you out of that place to provide for you, marry you, and fuck babies into you.

♡ bountyhunter!rafe

following the western au, your father winds himself up in some trouble with ward cameron — feared outlaw. for revenge, ward tasks his son, new to the job bounty hunter with kidnapping you to pay your father back for what he did. so rafe sets off, and with some struggle manages to take you away from everything you’ve ever known. he’s rough, mean and perverted — but somehow you find yourself developing stockholm syndrome and falling for him, not able to run away if you tried. think buffalo 66 vibes but western.

♡ prisoner!rafe

your boyfriend finally got locked up, so until he’s released — you do everything in your power to hold him down. dealing with his business outside the walls, you come to visit your man weekly, delivering sexy pictures of yourself to his post room to keep him satisfied and flashing him at the visiting booth. it’s getting harder and harder to be apart from him, especially when prison has physically done him so nicely.

♡ babydaddy!rafe

after breaking up with rafe because he’s too reckless and explosive, you discover that you’re pregnant with his baby. choosing to keep it, rafe decides he’s going to use this to get you to stay with him. he provides you with every penny needed to fund you and your babies life whilst on the side working to get his shit together and become the man he’s always wanted to be. once you’ve had your baby, he’s round for routine visits, occasionally fucking you and spending time with you when you’re tearful and lonely, needing him. convinced he can win you back with this, he’s constantly buying your love, and whisking you away to the bahamas to spend ‘quality family time’ and fuck you during the babies nap times.

♡ dealer!rafe

the grumpy kook is seemingly the life of the party due to his side hustle in dealing coke. working along side barry, rafe starts to pop up at every party you go to, holding lingering eye contact but keeping his distance because he probably shouldn’t bother the sweet innocent girl that stuck to two drinks a night. your friends are boisterous, walking all over you a little and send you to do their dirty work, being buying their coke for them. thinking you’re being a good friend, you seek out rafe and he fixes you up, all whilst telling you stop taking shit from your friends. he gives you discounts because you’re pretty, so your friends continue to send you back to him, where he sweeps you into his criminal lifestyle.

♡ stepbro!rafe

when ward cameron divorces rose and ends up with your mother, you move into tannyhill with your new stepsiblings. whilst you develop and great sister-like relationship with sarah and wheezie — rafe takes a different approach, his brain rotted by porn and makes it his mission to sleep with you. due to your innocent nature, you don’t realise what he’s doing half the time, and can’t deny how good it feels when he touches you. your secret sessions give you a rush, sat at the dinner table each night with no one knowing you just came on his dick upstairs.

♡ dbf!rafe

rafe becomes great friends with your father when they begin to work together, your father being rafe’s boss. he’s older, but still a little younger than your dad — and is careful with how much he pervs on you as he can’t afford to lose his job, being cut off by his own dad. you’re the spoiled kook ex cheerleader daughter who’s used to getting her way, and when you set your eyes on rafe you know you have to have him. constant teasing leads to rafe inevitably losing his temper and fucking you how you want under the condition you promise to keep it a secret.

♡ apocalypse!rafe

after ward cameron got killed in a shootout between them and the pogues to reclaim sarah, rafe is left to be the kingpin of his safe zone. he treats everyone there as his soldiers, ruthlessly commanding them to kill anyone who got in his way. on a hunt for revenge, rafe kidnaps you from kitty hawk camp where your safe zone is and forces you to be his apocalypse wife, telling you that the two of you will have to repopulate the world. more information on the apocalypse au can be found here.

♡ pervyneighbour!rafe

when you move in next door to tanny hill, ward cameron appoints rafe to be a good neighbour and show you around, being similar in age. he quickly discovers you’re rather innocent and decides he can take advantage of that, inviting you round to ‘get you acclimatised’ to the kook life — which means teaching you how to suck him off in his bedroom.

♡ fratboy!rafe

another fan favourite, fratboy rafe is the epitome of the american frat lord. parties, drugs, drinking, and skimming through his classes are what it’s all about. you’re in one of his lectures, quiet and shy at first — and he takes interest in you, getting his notes from the classes he missed from you as means to talk to you. he’s an odd one, rather rude and bully-like in nature, even towards you — but singles you out from everyone else to slide in compliments and check you out. you have a complicated relationship. you start to show up to parties, and he decides he’s gotta get his hands on you. fratboy!rafe is also gooner!rafe depending on preference.

♡ gooner!rafe

still a fratboy, however he spends more of his time in his dorm either watching porn or fucking yoi until you’re sore. stuffed in his closet are fleshlights and even sex torso dolls that he used before you came along to get himself off. when you come along, he treats you the same way he does his sex dolls — groping you constantly and demanding you to be at his beck and call, which you secretly don’t mind. he’s gross, willing to try out any position, fantasy or kink if he’s seen enough porn of it to convince him.

♡ pogue!rafe

a universe where rafe is a pogue, having left his family at a young age to be raised by the older fisherman pogues on the island. he’s 6ft5, mean, and hates everyone — slaving away day in day out at a building site or doing repairs for kooks much to his dismay. he still doesn’t get on with the core pogues, jj maybank in particular grinding his gears. you’re a kook, and rafe is hired by your parents to come and do the renovations on your house for a couple of weeks at a time — soon being trusted as their favourite handyman. he can’t stand kooks, but your parents pay well so he tolerates it. you’re not like the other kooks, sweet and humble — however you don’t know when to take a hint, constantly following him around begging him to hang out with you despite his constant dismissal. don’t get it twisted, he wants to fuck you until you cry — but is it worth getting involved with a kook? maybe you needed teaching a lesson or two in politeness.

♡ harryosbourne!rafe

a less popular au— rafe in the spiderman!jj universe, still rich and snobby, living in a high rise pent house with his father who happens to secretly be the green goblin.

♡ toxicex!rafe

incredibly self-explanatory, rafe your ex boyfriend who is toxic as all hell and won’t leave you alone. he stalks, shows up and beats up new guys you’re interested in, threatens people with guns just to prove to you he can protect you. you can’t help but go back to him and get your fix of dick from time to time.

♡ lord!rafe

this au is designed to be viewed in a creepy, a24 unsettling movie type of way. tannyhill becomes a haven for parties where all sorts of sexual, illegal, drug heavy activities go down. youre sweet and innocent, but get wrapped up into it — soon to be adopted by ‘rafes girls’, a group of women that parade around the home through the day wearing very little, pleasing rafe and his friends. he selects you to be his favourite like a little sacrifice and his women guide you through learning how to please him. more lore on this universe can be found here.

♡ sleepover!rafe

a less known au, but real ones remember this one! this au actually inspired lord!rafe, but it’s more casual and a lot more different. you and your friends often attend rafes parties, and after getting cozy with you — he ‘innocently’ invites you all to attend ‘sleepovers’ at his house. he spends the evening getting climbed all over by giggly girls, and wakes up in the morning to your friends touching all over him, easing you onto his lap and whispering for you to ask him to fuck you. your friends are weird voyeurs, but rafes even weirder.

♡ star wars au bountyhunter!rafe

in a galaxy far far away in the star wars universe, rafe cameron poses as a poster boy for ward cameron’s political party by day, and a bounty hunter by night. after stalking you around senate events, he woo’s the princess of naboo for a few evenings at a time — before later gearing up in his stolen mandalorian gear and kidnapping you for his father. will he keep you for himself? or cash in the bounty? more information on the star wars au can be found here.

♡ basketball!rafe

rich and famous basketball player rafe cameron spoiling his kook it-girl pinterest muse girlfriend and soon to be wife and mother of his children. the lore can be found here.

POPE HEYWARD

♡ kook!pope

probably the most beloved pope au on this blog! pope is a rich university student who is the smartest guy around. he’s invited to every party but still keeps his good morals and stays far away from rafe cameron if he can help it. when he meets you at a party, you stand out to him — and he decides he wants to take you in, tutor you and make you his.

♡ tattooartist!pope

working alongside piercer!jj, pope heyward is the best tattoo artist around. he has steady hands and a calm voice that could talk you through the pain (and other things). outside of work, he’s still kind of a nerd that rambles — just a nerd with sexy tats.

♡ drummer!pope

picture pope with a bandana tied round his head with the sleeves cut off his shirt, playing in a small town band with his friends. you have a little crush on him, and drag your friends to every single show to watch him until they force you to find him after a set and give him your number.

♡ dbf!pope

your dads slightly younger best friend who owns the grill now, still carrying that same soft spoken patience that makes him ever so trust worthy. so trustworthy that your father even convinces him to tutor his sweet college student daughter — unbeknownst to the fact she refuses to be tutored unless she’s sat on his lap, grinding on his dick.

♡ apocalypse!pope

pope works in the control room at kitty hawk, making sure everything is running smoothly, watching for intruders through the cameras he set up, and spending day in day out trying to contact other survivors through the radio channels. he’s been pretty quiet and stoic since the outbreak, struggling with the loss of people he loves and cares about — but you can always get through to him, convincing him to take breaks with you and fall in love with being alive again. the two of you like to smoke weed together in abandoned buildings and you let him pound out his frustrations by bending you over. in return he protects you with his life. more information on the apocalypse au can be found here.

♡ pizzadeliveryboy!pope

think your local pizza delivery boy, paired with a bratty, snooty kook— who is fucking pope after each of his shifts because your stupid cheating boyfriend can’t make you cum. for some reason, his uniform does it for you, and he wastes no time dropping his bike on your yard and running in straight after he clocks out with a pizza box in one hand and a condom in his pocket. he hates feeling used by you, he wants to respect himself more — but the sex is just too good to give up.

♡ drivinginstructor!pope

picking up a driving instructor gig to make some money after college whilst he decides what he wants to do. he doesn’t expect his first client to be you, the pretty kook girl with an insatiable need to fuck in the backseat.

♡ star wars au captain!pope

pope heyward is jj maybanks first in command, the soldier he relies on the most to help him navigate through the war against the separatists. after saving you, the damsel in distress princess of naboo, and spending time talking to him — he realises maybe there’s more to life than his identity as a soldier. more information on the star wars au can be found here.

THE READERS

♡ bunny!reader

the ditsy, girly girl kook who moved to the obx and instantly attached herself to rafes side. think haley dunphy but kinder, and the house bunny but a little younger. she is typically paired with rafe, but have been in other pairings before. she’s often seen in strictly pink and white, wearing bows, ribbons and skirts that ride up her ass. a lot of the time, she’ll be plugged with a fluffy bunny tail butt plug, put inside of her by her boyfriend to keep her docile. here’s the introductory post for bunny.

♡ kitty!reader

the opposite to bunny in the sense that she’s got tonnes of attitude and spunk, but just as much as a sex addict. she’s most commonly paired with jj, after meeting him in a grocery store and approaching him silently, wide eyed and curious. she’s super prissy, decked out most commonly in black and pink together, and if she’s not biting jj’s arm begging for dick she’s mouthing off, pushing to get put in her place.

♡ puppy!reader

pup is most commonly paired with john b, the sweetest, most hyperactive and slightly ditsy girl in town. she’s incredibly clumsy, mostly because she runs everywhere and you can never predict what she might do next. puppy!reader met john b after falling off her bike near the chateau, arriving on the brunettes doorstep in tears asking for a bandaid and if he knew how to fix bikes (the wheel was comically detached.)

♡ deer!reader

skittish, shy, curious and always following where her nose takes her like a deer. most commonly paired with pope but has been seen to join other popular pairings. she’s an all round good do-er, working at the library and volunteering in her free time — meaning the heywards absolutely adore her. it takes a while for her to warm up to people and be herself, but once she does she truly lets the weirdo out.

♡ mouse!reader

mousey is usually strictly paired in her trio relationship with kook!pope and regular jj. she’s originally a pogue, dating our two boys— pope paying her way through ballet school, and jj keeping her grounded in the pogue world. she’s known for her love of ballet, cheese, and shoplifting (which she always gets told off for by her boys! but never gets caught because she looks so innocent) here’s a drabble that details her more.

♡ lamb!reader

daughter of carla limbrey, lamb!reader is new in town. she’s been raised as strictly catholic her whole life and is learning what it’s like to be a modern girl living in the obx. with the help of the pogues, specifically jj — she navigates what it’s like to feel curious about wanting to fuck. although she’s ‘innocent’, she’s not afraid to lecture you and put you in your place, often sticking her nose in the air. aside from warming to jj, she’s got rafe on her case — always twirling her cross necklace round his finger, desperate to corrupt her ways, which only makes her angrier when her body reacts. if she’s not with the pogues in her little white outfits, she’s driving around in her ‘59 cadillac that was gifted to her on her 16th birthday. here’s a post detailing her more.

♡ spoiledkook!reader

the baddest baddie of them all. paired with any character you’d like — she’s like bunny if bunny was a bitch! popular pairings for her to be apart of — dbf!rafe, bsf!jj, pizzadeliveryboy!pope… the list goes on! this vid is totally her vibes.

♡ sheriffsdaughter!reader

often paired with jj, shoupes daughter pretty much lives at the station. she got a shitty little job there doing paperwork and signing people in and out, but the highlight of her shifts are when jj gets taken in (selfishly) because she gets to flirt with him. her father is oppressive and strict, and got her labelled with being a ‘narc’ for all of her teen years and never invited to parties — so she resents him, throwing herself at jj. think the song 18 by anabor meets please please please by sabrina carpenter. here’s a post inspired by that and an edit to help you see my vision.

THREEWAY SHIPS

♡ jj x reader x john b

the first ever threeway relationship i brought to this blog! a classic au to the real ones who have been here for aaaages! the two are usually paired with puppy!reader, all being friends until they realised their feelings for reader were stronger than it should be and they didn’t mind sharing! john b is the ‘daddy’, the stern but sweet calming presence that keeps everyone grounded, and jj is the fun playful one that teases you and riles you up.

♡ rafe x kook!reader x jj

another classic au! when jj takes the job mowing lawns for kook families, he spots the prettiest girl he’s even seen sunbathing outside in the tiniest bikini ever. deciding he has to have her, he swoops in and befriends her, using her innocence to take advantage of and take her under his wing. however, rafe cameron had been your neighbour for years. due to the two of you practically growing up together, your parents have always forced you two together — ward instructing rafe to always invite you to every event and gala as his date growing up. as you come into adulthood, the boy realises that he does infact want you, in every way, especially now he’s seen that jj has his eyes on you. the two boys battle it out over you.

♡ jj x mouse!reader x pope

see mouse!reader above!

♡ john b x reader x sarah

sarah and john b have always been chronically horny, and when they spot you working at the local library — they decide to befriend you with the purpose of corrupting you and joining you into their weird little horny relationship. at first you think it’s normal, they’re just a little affectionate — especially sarah, but soon the boundaries get pushed and you can’t help your body reacting to your two closest friends. occasionally jj joins in on the fun too! heres a post detailing their odd relationship.

♡ jj x reader x maggie

maggie is an oc created by me to play a masc-leaning lesbian mechanic in the obx, jj’s best friend at the garage they work at. she has a few face claims, but her most popular one is charlie watson from bumblebee, or kate bishop. the two are usually paired with puppy!reader, both caring for her in their own way — jj being a golden retriever hyper horn dog and maggie being a grumpy black cat.

♡ firefighter!johnb x receptionist!reader x firefighter!jj

see firefighter!johnb/jj above!

[daisys-reality]

─── 🍏ꜞ˖ ꒰ short messages from your DR s/o's higher self ꒱

⌇reality shifting themed tarot reading | general disclaimer | masterlist

───────────────────────

pile one

Oh temptation, sweet temptation. Darling, you're gorgeous, inside out. How can someone be so perfect? I really wanna be gentle with you and treat you with the utmost care that you deserve. Not because you’re weak. chuckle No, because you’re so so precious to me. But damnit, my feelings and the attraction I feel are so intense. I feel like I'm going insane. I need you in my life. I would do anything for you. For hell’s sake, I would travel the universe for you too. Please don’t ever doubt me. I am trustworthy, I promise. You’re the only one who has my attention. I will protect and provide for you. And whoever dares to hurt you, will get to experience hell.

Don’t worry about your past or your circumstances, they don’t matter. Just believe, in yourself, in me or us or the universe. Focus on yourself for now, take time to recover from whatever you’re going through and release any resistance. I know it’s hard but it’s not too late. We will reunite soon! You don’t need to worry, okay? Everything will be fine.

pile two

My love, if you feel like you have too much that is depending on you, you might have to rethink following this path. It seems like your heart is willing to relax at this time, but this is not what your mind wants. You’re restless and exhausted… You know that your health is what is most important, right? I don’t wanna see you burnt out, okay? Learn to back out, when it’s needed. Continuing to fight for something that is not worthy of your life might end up being just a waste of time. You’re like a gift to me, okay? Obviously I am restless too and eager to finally be in your presence but your wellbeing is more important than any of my immature desires. I can wait for you. My love for you won’t waver. I will always love you, more than you know. Please give yourself the time you need. I will always be there for you. If you’re in the mood please tell me anything, you can even address letters to me. I would be glad if I could lessen your burdens at least for a little bit. You can talk about all your worries, your dreams etc. I will listen. So, let’s go through this together, okay? 

I want you to know that I’m truly proud of you, and I am confident that you will succeed.

pile three

I know you are my equal, my counterpart. There is no one like you. My heart and mind are committed to you. I know we’d make a strong pair. With you around I finally feel at peace, you make me whole again, you give strength to keep going. I want to be your strength too. I want to deepen our bond. I don’t wanna lose you. Ever. I am selfish and immature. I know that but what can I do? You're my other half, my world… I need you. Everyone else is not worthy enough for you. How could I sit still? I’m jealous just imagining you with someone else. Is it wrong to imagine our future together, a happily-ever-after? I promise I will work hard to make you as happy as you make me. Please give me/us a chance.

───────────────────────

[perfectlyoongi]

SOULMATE!YOONGI who said he was the owner of his heart and destiny. Yoongi was never a believer in destiny, the idea of a person being born destined to love seemed completely absurd to him, without any sense — he believed that people were born to live, not to love; as such, Yoongi never looked for his soulmate, saying always and every time that he would love whoever he chose, when he chose — he believed it was his own choice. “no one is born to love. we are all born to exist and love is not as important as they make us believe.”

SOULMATE!YOONGI who fought against his feelings for you. Yoongi was the master of his own destiny, of his heart, he couldn't just let ancient stars and capricious gods take over his life — no; Yoongi would love who he wanted, when he wanted and he knew it wouldn't be you, someone he recently met and who impacted him in such a way that made him question his beliefs. “i can’t be with someone who makes me question everything i believe; it doesn’t make sense to be with someone who makes me change my beliefs.”

SOULMATE!YOONGI who fell in love with you without wanting to. but the stars were guides, the gods were writers and the universe already knew that Yoongi would love you forever — even though he didn't want to; it was just your look, your smile, your essence that captivated Yoongi, taking him to lands unknown to him, making Yoongi walk the path of love without him even giving you the permission to send him on that journey of loving you. “i don’t know where i’m going or when i’ll get there, but something in me tells me that i will always have you by my side on this journey and that’s enough for me.”

SOULMATE!YOONGI who didn't believe in soulmates until he met you. maybe the stars are right; maybe the gods are right; maybe the whole universe is right when it says that we were born to love, because as soon as Yoongi met you, and no matter how much he denied it, Yoongi knew that it was his destiny to dedicate his entire life to making you happy, to making you feel important, to loving you. “i always looked for a purpose in my life, not believing that i was only destined to create art; and now with you here, now that i met you, i realized that my purpose in life was to devote myself to you.”

SOULMATE!YOONGI who believed that you met by destiny. numerical and truthful probabilities were astronomical in all the fields that involved you and Yoongi — but, by coincidence, they existed; billions of people existed at the same time as you and, against all odds, you found each other; billions of people loved at the same time as you, but you and Yoongi only loved each other — what other explanation was there for such probability other than destiny? “meeting someone like you is a unique experience, only reserved for those who are destined for you — and i swear to you that the universe itself put me in your path so i could love you.”

SOULMATE!YOONGI who could only imagine a future if you were there. because he could already read the stars, he could already hear the gods, he could already feel the universe uniting you with him; you were Yoongi's soulmate and his life could only make sense with you by his side — especially because Yoongi always said that his life had only started the day he met you. “if my life began the day i met you, then it only makes sense to only be able to see a future for myself if you are by my side so i can love you forever.”

SOULMATE!YOONGI who swore to move mountains and rivers to be with you. Yoongi knew that destiny took as much as it gave and he knew that too much luck was a sign of distrust, and all he thought about was the universe trying to take you away from him; but no matter how, no matter when, if your presence in Yoongi's life disappeared, he himself would face the various gods so he could have you in his arms one last time. “even if i need to burn the world to the ground to get the attention of the gods. not even if i need to destroy all human life to call upon the gods. if they take me away from you, they will regret giving me the power to love.”

[howlingday]

A Kissing Shame

Yang: Okay, what's your fucking problem? Why aren't you happy for me and Blake now? You were perfectly fine with it just last month!

Ruby: Yeah, I was fine when you two weren't making out all the time.

Yang: Oh, we are not making out all the time!

Ruby: Yeah? What about last week?

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: Yang, do you see anything?

Yang: (Comms filled with wet sounds)

Ruby: ...Yang?

Yang: (Comms filled with moans)

Ruby: Yang... BLAKE!

Blake: (Via Comms) Oh, shit! Nothing to report!.

Ruby: Are you sure? I think you didn't look hard enough behind my sister's uvula. Pay attention!

--------------------------------------------------

Yang: Hey, we're getting better.

Ruby: At what, making out or being as loud as you can about it? And that's nothing compared to what happened this morning!

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: ...

Weiss: ...

Blake: (Making out with Yang)

Yang: (Making out with Blake)

Ruby: (Groans, Looks at Slide 1/20 of brief)

Jaune: (Knocks, Opens door) Hey, guys? Uh, can we do our briefing ye-

Ruby: WE STILL HAVE TWO MINUTES!

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: I still owe Jaune an apology for yelling at him.

Yang: He's a big boy, Ruby. He'll get over it.

Ruby: Maybe, but that's not the point! The point is that this happens every day! Every month! Every WEEK!

Yang: ...

Ruby: I know I got it wrong, I'm just so mad!

Yang: Easy, Rubes. Look, does the kissing really bother you that much?

Ruby: YES! Like, I get it, I know you and Blake are a couple and you need to let each other know how much you care about each other. That's fine. But when half of my team is too busy slapping their tongues together to know what the other half of the team is doing, then it becomes a problem! So... I'm not saying to stop making out, just... Do it less, maybe? Or with less spit flying everywhere?

Yang: ...Alright, Ruby. We'll tone it down. Besides, Blake and I can do things other than swap spit to show our love.

Ruby: Thank you. I love you, Yang.

Yang: Love you, too, Rubes. (Hugs) And hey, you're right. Blake and I do get kinda messy with our kissing. Maybe we should give our lips a break and do something simpler. Like holding each other's hands.

Ruby: Aw! That'd be so cute~!

--------------------------------------------------

Ruby: This is not cute.

Yang: It's so funny. I don't really feel anything with this hand, but when I hold you, I can feel everything about you, and I love it~.

Weiss: ...

Blake: And it's so warm. I don't know if it's your aura or the dust inside or if it's just my imagination, but I can't stop feeling safe and comfortable inside~.

Ruby: (Groans, Looks at slide 1/10 of debrief)

Jaune: (Knocks, Opens door) Uh, are you guys still-

Ruby: GET THE FUCK OUT, JAUNE!

[thelastofhyde]

hit the road, jack!

pairing. ex!jack daniels x fem!reader synopsis. the last time you sat in jack’s infamous bronco, you broke his heart. now, a year later, you’re sitting in it with a mud-stained wedding dress and he’s driving you back to the man you left at the altar. is one night, a thousand miles, and a well-timed car radio enough to remind you of the love you shared? warnings. road trip au, exes to lovers, runaway bride!reader, mutual pining, miscommunication/no communication, idiots in love, exes in love, minor character death, infidelity, one ( 1 ) comment regarding food restriction, mentions of period, smut ( unprotected piv, dirty talk, sex in public spaces, implied creampie, fairly non-descriptive ) the reader of this fic is mostly non-descript, with mentions of having hair long enough to stick to her neck when wet and hands smaller than jack's. word count. 14.7k hyde's input. quick disclaimer that this fic was admittedly better in my head, but i tried my best :') it unfortunately never got to reach it's full potential as my friends dragged me off on an unexpected trip on friday for my birthday (which is today aka the 23rd). because of that, i've not had time to finish the last few scenes as well as i'd hoped to (it's literally 5 am as i'm editing it bc it's the only chance i've had) but i don't want to post this any later as this is my entry to the #SummerLovin'24 event, organised and hosted by @pedgito, @chaotic-mystery & @amanitacowboy , a massive thank you to them for creating such a fun event. i really enjoyed taking part and i can not wait to sink my teeth into the other amazing fics from this event. if you care to listen, here is a playlist of songs mentioned/featured in the fic.

INTRO — silver springs.

“Time cast a spell on you, but you won’t forget me.”

Stevie Nicks et al chant out of old speakers, a bass blown out over time and an intruding static that demands to play alongside the band. Perched upon the bar counter, they sit adjacent to a cash register that shakes each time it opens, a slam seemingly the only way to close it. The swish of a mop over chequered vinyl flooring and the squeaks of a waitress’ coffee-stained sneakers play to their own tune. The passing of time turns it all to background noise.

Through lunch, through dinner, and two shift changes you’ve survived. Out in the parking lot now sits only a semi-truck, its drivers, two men in scuffed boots and jeans that fray at their seams, the only other customers that remain. One tucks into a Sloppy Joe, the other has fallen asleep against the table, his coffee turning as cold as your own.

You ordered the coffee for nothing more than an excuse to sit a while longer. Time for figuring out what’s next. What you’ll do, where you’ll go, how you’ll get there. The elderly couple who’d been kind enough to take you off the side of the road, moving luggage into the trunk to make space for you in the backseats, are now long gone from the roadside diner.

It wasn’t a sorrowful departure. You were quite happy to see them leave, and take their pitiful glances and unasked questions with them. The looks still linger on in others. Each pair of eyes you’ve encountered, dragging over the expanse of your messed up hair, and your smudged eyes, and your mud-stained gown. It’s not hard to imagine the scenes they play out in their heads, of a bride scorned and abandoned on what was meant to be the happiest day of her life, a day meant for vows and first dances twisted into one of heartbroken wandering and roadside pit-stops.

You wonder if any of them know you’re not the victim, but the aggressor. The one who fled, leaving behind a bouquet of striped carnations, marigolds, and purple hyacinths.

Tires crunch on gravel as a car rolls into the parking lot. Whichever fool sits behind the wheel has their full beams on. A light flickers over your head. It’s been doing so for the past hour, an irritating reflection in the window that steals your attention back into the diner.

The waitress is eyeing you again, a weary look on her face that tells you she wants to approach but doesn’t know how. Maybe she wants to ask if you’re okay, or enquire about the events that led you here, deep in the middle of nowhere. Or maybe she just wants you to close your tab and leave. 

The bell above the door rings as it opens. It’s been a while since you heard it do so. A smile comes over the waitress as she greets the newcomer. Her eyes seem to take them in, slowly. From top to bottom, and right back to the top. Innocent, if not a little flirtatious. She’d not looked at either of the truckers that way. Perhaps this is her lover, here to wait about and keep a watchful eye as she works the night shift. You can’t imagine it’s the safest place in the world for a woman to find herself working through the twilight hours, nothing but open road and sky-rise trees surrounding the diner.

A sip from your coffee. It’s as cold as you expected. Bitter too, having not found your voice in time to ask for sugar. Your stomach growls, a plea for a meal. If you’d only stayed at the venue, you’d be full of vanilla frosting, and smoked oysters, and… had it been the coronation chicken or the roast sirloin the wedding planner had gone with in the end? You can’t remember. What you do remember is her unwanted advice: just stick to some light bites, no bride wants a food-baby in her pictures.

In retrospect, you’d disliked her from the moment you met her. But you had no desire to plan a wedding. And no time either, much to your future mother-in-law’s chagrin. So out she’d gone, a cat on the hunt, dragging home some mousy-brown haired wedding planner as a sacrificial lamb. Better it be her than you who stresses over the shade of napkins, and the taste of merlots, and the seating arrangements.

Footsteps thud against the floor. Slow, deliberate, not a stumble in the way they move. You stare back out the window and spy a cowboy hat reflected in it. It belongs to the waitress’ lover, who by now is likely making his way over to pull her in real close and swoon her with a kiss only men blessed by southern charm possess.

A different version of you, a happier version, used to be kissed like that every morning.

“Are you lost, sweetheart?” The voice of a man echoes. Softly spoken, yet loudly heard in the quiet of the diner. In the window, the cowboy hat stands right behind you. You turn slowly, let your eyes dance over its owner. Like a sculpture plucked out of ancient Rome, he’s a fine art only the most delicate hands could shape. He’s brown-eyed affection. He’s an aquiline nose. He’s a well-groomed moustache. He’s Jack. “Think it’s a few miles up north they’re expecting a pretty bride.”

Leather jackets and well-fitted jeans have been traded in for a suit. Simple, classic. White shirt, black tie, a trademark cowboy hat you’d never failed to spot amongst any crowd. There’s a crinkle where a cheeky grin meets eyes framed by full brows and lashes, a scar on his right temple a reminder of the kind of man he is. Dauntless, righteous, brave. An undercover agent, posing as the CFO of one of the largest whiskey distilleries in the world. 

An illusion plays out where no time has passed and his is still the face you come home to each night. A lot can change in a year, however, like the bed you sleep in, or the ring upon your finger.

He welcomes himself into the seat across from you. The protective barrier of a water-ring stained table keeps a safe distance between you both, yet you still feel his knee knock against your own as he makes himself comfortable. One arm stretched over the backrest, the other rests against the table and drums a nervous tune with his fingers.

“You’ve worried a lot of people, darliln’,” his gaze studies you. You wonder if it’s the same look he used to give his targets. The thought sours the sweetness of seeing his pretty eyes after all these months. “Runnin’ off like that, not even a hoot or a holler to let your daddy know you’re alright.”

Your dad. He’d slipped off to the bathroom, a kiss to your cheek and a promise he’d be back in time to walk you down the aisle. What must he have thought, rounding the corner to the sight of a bouquet, abandoned a la Cinderella and her glass slipper. Before you stew in guilt for too long, the rest of Jack’s words catch up to you.

He knew you ranaway. That glimpse of a cowboy hat amongst the pews had not been an illusion.

Jack was at the wedding.

“What happened?” His hand seeks you out. Warm as you remember him to be, large enough to engulf your smaller palm in his. “Why’d you run?” You stay quiet. Shrug your shoulders, eventually, and stare down as his thumb brushes over your knuckles. “You gonna give me a proper answer, sweetheart?”

Another shoulder shrug leads Jack to a sigh. There’s a pause in the quiet tension brewing between you, in the shape of the smiling waitress, pen and pad in hand. Her eyes seem to dart between you both, and you can almost hear her wondering who Jack is, if he’s the man you were meant to meet at the end of the aisle. There’d been a time when yes was the only possible answer to such a question.

“A glass of your finest whiskey. Neat, of course. And how ‘bout somethin’ to please a sweet tooth, hm?” His foot bumps yours beneath the table, calling you to look at him. You meet his eyes, watch him raise his brows in question. “Spied a pretty mean lookin’ cherry pie on my way in. That sound good to you, darlin’?” Your mute staring continues. Your stomach takes control, answers him with a disgruntled growl from within. His head turns to the side, laughing, and he nods at the waitress. “Think she’s gonna need a slice of that pie, miss!”

The right to speak returns to you at last, as you watch the glass of liquid caramel be placed down in front of him, head turning to stare out the window, a familiar Bronco sits poorly parked, obnoxious in the way it treads the line of two parking spaces.

“You shouldn’t drink and drive.”

Surprise flashes over his face, but he recovers quickly, untensing his shoulders as he sinks further into the booth. “Didn't order it for me,” he slides the glass of whiskey over to you. “Eat up, drink up. You need it.”

Though it kills you to admit it, the first bite out of the pie feels like heaven in your mouth. Tart, sweet, with pastry so golden it’s as if King Midas baked it under the heat of his own hands. A sip of the whiskey isn’t so great, but you stomach the burn and accept the erasure of nerves it promises. Your eagerness to clear the plate and empty the glass has nothing to do with the approving smile Jack watches you with.

“How did you find me?” 

“You doubtin’ my skills?” He’s teasing. You know this. Still, you fall into the trap of a panicked head shake, a cough over the final bite of cherry goodness. “I stopped at a gas station. Runnin’ on an empty in the middle of nowhere ain’t on my list of wants, you see. Overheard two kids talkin’ about some bride sittin’ at a dinner a few miles down. Don’t take no Hercule Poirot to figure it was you”

“Oh.”

You shouldn’t feel disappointed by his answer, there’s no reason a man you hurt so deeply would have any vested interest in finding you.

The last you’d seen of Jack was through your car’s rear-view mirror, his tear stricken face watching you drive away, five years of clothes, and shoes, and memories stuffed into your car. He’d begged you not to leave your shared home; offered to sleep in the spare room, give you both time to work things out between you. You’d been the one to declare it useless.

“This isn’t something we can fix, Jack!”

“But, darlin’, I love you.”

“A happy coincidence, I was lookin’ for ya anyway. You gonna tell me what’s goin’ on inside that head of yours yet?” At least this time your mute stare is paired with a head shake. “Look, I mean well when I say this, but darlin’, you’re lookin’ a mighty mess. Now, a pretty mess that may be, but a mess all the same.” His hand is back on yours, squeezing with enough strength to ground you and keep you from floating off into the landscape of your own conflicted mind. “So here’s what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna take a trip to the gents, then I’m gonna square up whatever we owe this fine establishment, and then we’re gettin’ that pretty caboose of yours up'n out of here.”

Frozen where you sit, it takes a few moments for the warmth of whiskey to settle in your bones, lurching you forward when it does, a gasp and a tight grip at his wrist, holding him back before he can stroll away from the table.

“Where are we going?”

“For a drive, sweetheart.”

TRACK 1 — vienna

You and Jack are no strangers to a late night drive.

An entire love story, told within the confines of four wheels and a chassis. The very night you met, you wound up in his passenger seat, arms up in the air and the wind blowing through your hair, the charming cowboy next to you taking every joyful laugh as a plea to go faster, nothing ahead but the open road and a southern voice crooning out of the radio. Too lost in your own head, that’s what he’d claimed you to be, having strolled up to a lonely-you in a crowded bar, lamenting over a glass of bitter white wine, freshly fired and with no real clue of what you were going to do next. Never one to entertain a stranger, you’d tried to brush him off, but he flashed that smile and invited you, so tenderly as the intro to a Bruce Springsteen song began to play, to just give him one dance.

One dance led to unimaginable love.

As time passed, a relationship burst into full bloom, the imprint of you carved into the car’s leather. Jack insisted you grow accustomed to the life of a passenger princess. He picked you up from work, drove you to all your girls’ night outs, sacrificed hours of necessary sleep to drop you at airports, and train stations, and whatever other public transport your work trips demanded you to travel upon. But how could you dream of saying no when you got to ogle the view of him, one hand on the wheel, the other on your thigh, effortlessly manoeuvring his beloved vehicle. 

The car came on couples' vacations, too, road trip getaways. Up north, past the Canadian borders, and down south to the skyline of Mexico City. Out west, a trail up to the Grand Canyon, the Empire State Building in the east. But the late night drives, those were your favourite. Times when life felt too much, with work stressing you out, or your parents giving you grief, or a stress headache gnawing away at your remaining sanity, Jack would tug you wordlessly out into the driveway, buckle your seatbelt, and drive off into the night. Roof down, radio on, the cool breeze clearing your mind.

The only breeze you feel now blows in through an open window.

Pulling away from the diner, Jack turned the wheels south, out into the dark of the night. Trees wall the road in, a never ending sea of pine-green lit by headlights, the looming presence of a dark, dangerous, rumbling sky above. A storm brews ahead, awaiting the perfect moment to crack open and drop a downpour on the world. Little words have been exchanged between you, most of them spoken by Jack, as he tells you about the nightmare he had checking in at his hotel, and the difficulty he had finding the venue, and just how beautiful you look in your dress, tears tracks and messy hair aside. Softly playing over the radio, Billy Joel seems to speak to you, pleading that you slow down, you crazy child.

“D’you remember our trip to Vienna?”

Your head snaps over to Jack. His eyes remain on the road ahead, and a part of you is thankful, unsure of how you’d fare gazing into them as melancholy tangles itself in their shades of brown. The other part misses how it used to feel to catch him watching you from the driver’s seat, affection incarnate as his loving gaze burned heat into your cheeks, your own voice pleading him to pay attention to the road, the light’s already green, Jack!

“How could I forget you almost getting us kicked out of Saint Peter’s church?”

“Hey, now darlin’, let’s not start playin’ the blame game!” His head turns once in your direction, a teasing smile splashed upon his rosy lips. You try not to think about how you’ve felt that very smile pressed against your mouth, memorised the shape of it so perfectly you could draw it with your eyes shut. “You knew what you were doin’ wearin’ that pretty little sundress.”

The dress in question had been a purposeful attack, an attempt at getting payback for the night prior, in which Jack found pleasure in reducing you to tears, begging for release hour after hour, after hour of edging touches. Never the best at putting up a fight against his pouting lips, pleading eyes, and filthy tongue, you’d caved into his hands the moment they skimmed their way up the length of your thigh, the watchful eyes of any Lord above be damned.

“I still dream of the garden’s at Schönbrunn Palace,” a sigh floats out of you as your brain hits play on a kaleidoscope of memories of strolling the grounds, hand in hand with a man you’d imagined yourself being with for the rest of your life.

If I asked you to marry me, would you say yes? He’d asked, as you watched a couple get engaged before your very eyes.

Promise me we’ll get married here, and I’ll consider it.

“I still have nightmares of the boat.”

“The boat!” The patterns in the kaleidoscope shift into images of a viennan skyline reflected upon glassy waters, a city cruise dragging you down the canal. “I still can’t believe you fell off it!”

“I jumped.”

“Backwards? Just admit it, you fell into that water!”

“I jumped, to make you laugh!”

“Oh, don’t worry, me and the coast guard were definitely laughing!”

A silence settles between you both. Jack drums his fingers along to the closing notes of the song, your foot does the same. It crosses your mind that this, in itself, may very well be a dream. Sitting back in the Bronco, staring over at Jack as he drives you both into the aimless night. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s visited your dreams.

You watch him inhale, deeply. With a blink, his eyes reflect the moonlight, glassy with unfallen tears, the image of him too beautiful to be fiction. 

“Sometimes I wish we’d never left Vienna.”

His words cut you deep, the sorrow he speaks them with cuts you deeper. Barely a week back in your own home, suitcases still unpacked, pulling into the driveway hours after the unexpected funeral of a friend, you broke both your hearts.

All that goes up must come down and, in the very same place your relationship started, it ended. Sat across from him, rain beating down on the windows, tears trailing down your face. He begged you to stop before those words came out of your mouth, tried his best to switch the engine back on and pull out into the road. You’re just stressed, darlin’, he’d said, a deceptive whine in his voice cracking his straight-faced facade. Just need to clear your head, right? Lemme take ya for a drive. It was too late, your own hand curling back around the handle and forcing the door open, the water from outside flooding in. I’m sorry, I can’t be with you. Not anymore.

“Yeah,” you exhale, shaky. Swallowed emotions, a tight lipped smile, eyes that search for sanctuary out the window. “Me too.”

In the wing-mirror, lighting crashes amidst the sea of pine-green.

TRACK 2 — purple rain

A perfect summer’s storm.

Mother nature’s mid-June release of pent-up heat, making space amongst the skies for what’s yet to come in the scorching months of July and August, the last of any rain to be seen until September brings back the sombre skies and cooler weather. The rain falls heavily, a persistent thump-thump-thump of water that bounces off the car’s roof, bonnet, windows. In the sky, thunder roars an angry sound, each one louder than the last, followed by an even brighter flash of lighting that electrifies its surroundings, turning the black night into shades of violet, and midnight, and indigo, and purple.

“You’ve not bought any new albums? None at all?” The question comes as you flip through Jack’s collection of discs, a notable lack of change in his roster since the last time you’d sat in his car.

This lack of change is likely not without good reason, like the lack of time to go CD hunting between secret missions to save the world, or a general lack of interest in newer records. He’s always been a fan of the old fashion, after all, the home you’d once shared made up of collections of vintage whiskeys, and classic records, and faded wallpaper that he convinced you gave the kitchen charm.

“Nothin’ new since…” His eyes shift over your way, the look in them enough to wordlessly end his sentence. “You were always the one buyin’ me music. Said you didn’t want me get-”

“Getting bored on missions,” impulse seems to be what forces you to speak, an honest smile sent his way. “I remember.”

It had been a while into your relationship, with i-love-yous and apartment keys exchanged, until the truth of Jack’s job came up.

On your first date, he’d told you he was a businessman. A few dates later, he specified that he was an investor, dipping his fingers into the honey jar of some classically Texa whiskey distillery. Only a half lie, and not one that was hard to believe. Every fibre of his being, stitches and loose threads included, made sense as a man in the business of selling whiskey. The overzealous amount of Statesman whiskeys occupying the shelves in his apartment, the photos he’d send of the view from his high-rise office, the endless number of suits and ties that occupied his wardrobe, even his damn name, Jack Daniels. 

Then, out came the truth.

A phone call from one of Jack’s co-workers, Ginger, lasting no more than five minutes and of which only three words mattered: Jack’s been shot.

A bullet through his head. Any ordinary man would have died. Yet there was your Jack, eyes open, a measly bandage over his temple, and standing up-right. To your own credit, you managed to keep a grasp on your sanity long enough to drive him home, cook him dinner, and sit yourself down across from him at the table. But when he pricked his finger on the tip of his knife, the rivulet of blood dripping down his finger was enough to send you over the edge. Open mouthed sobs, hands clinging to him the instant he sank down on his knees at your side, tears staining every inch of his white cotton t-shirt.

You could’ve died, Jack.

Now how could I go dyin’, when I got such a pretty reason to live for?

You begged with questions, he promised with answers. Hands intertwining with your own, a gentle voice guiding you out the apartment, the soft slam of a car door closing. He turned the key in the ignition, pulled your hand up to his mouth for a kiss, and drove you both off into the night. Under the melodic fall of rain beating down on the car, you came to terms with three facts: Jack was involved in the business of selling whiskey; Jack was otherwise known as agent Whiskey, esteemed senior agent to the Statesmen secret intelligence agency; and Jack was not often shot- at least not in the head.

Arriving home that night, with the rain falling heavy on your front lawn, you’d tried your best to dash from the car and into the house but Jack had other plans. He’d gripped your hand, and pulled you close, and kissed you under the flash of lighting. And when you dared whine that your clothes were soaked, he held you tighter and let himself guide your body into a gentle sway, two lovers under the moonlight and the storm. That night had ended with a fatal promise from Jack, your limbs entangled upon a shared bed, his lips pressing into your forehead.

I promise I’ll always come home to you safe.

“Don’t need no discs anyway, already got all I need right here,” Jack’s impeccable timing, seemingly sensing the shift in your demeanour. It’s like he knows what you’re thinking about, and trying to drag you out of the past and back to the present, his fingers stretching over to turn the volume up. A familiar set of haunting chords plays over the radio, a grin instantly appearing on his face. “Shit, they even got Princ-”

“Stop the car.”

“Huh?”

“Just pull over, Jack!”

Despite the confusion, he abides by your words, foot pressing down on the break, hands steering the wheels off-road, fingers switch the car off. Without the hum of the engine, the rainfall grows louder, the view out the windscreen suddenly blocked behind a wall of flowing water. The radio plays on, the voice of an angel singing lyrics that so aptly match the purple shades painted across the sky by the storm above. There’s a cautious echo of your name, and, for a moment, it’s easy to forget this is the first time you’ve heard him actually say it in over a year. It feels like just yesterday he was calling out to you, begging with solutions you weren’t willing to give.

Your heart beats with a longing to escape your chest, hard and steady against the cage that is your ribs. Your eyes fill with emotions from the past and of the present, as every version of yourself that’s sat within this car comes together as one. Your hand curls around the silver grip of the door, pulling it open and lunging yourself out into the pouring rain.

Under the storm's wrath, you’re reborn. Baptised by mother nature, a soul cleansed of all its prior troubles, returned to you brand new and free of heartbreak. As the rain soaks your face, your neck, your dress, it washes all the pain away. Breathing easy, head tilted back, eyes closed. It's the feeling of being alive, an anomalous euphoria found only beneath a thunderous sky. The tears that dare fall here mean little, a known comfort that they’ll mix with the rain and be swept away.

Enthralled under the moonlight and barefoot, you drift on through the trees that line these woods, chasing the sweet promise of petrichor. You’re unsure if it comes from the sky, or the trees, or Jack, but something calls your name. A fallen tree trunk becomes your own personal tightrope as you dance over the length of it, one careful foot in front of the other, arms stretched out to the heavens above. All it takes is one misplaced step and you lose your footing, slipping over moss and bracing for impact that never arrives.

“Heaven to Betsy, darlin’!” Jack’s hands, warm as a summer breeze, catch you by the waist, your shoulder socking him square in the face as you fall back into his figure. He makes no complaint of pain, taking it like a champ and placing you back down on steady ground, upon unsteady feet. “Did’ya sneak a few extra whiskeys when I was takin’ a leak?”

You open your mouth to reply, to deny, but the rain comes to a stop, and the thunder no longer rumbles, and the moonlight breaks through the parting blanket of clouds, and you’re suddenly so aware of how close you both are.

Like his hands, do his lips still feel the same? Soft as a feather, pillowy as a cloud, as sweet as a peach? It’s not something a married woman should be thinking about another man, about the man another version of her had loved.

But you’re not a married woman, are you?

Wet to the bone, it's as if your wedding dress has shrunk, possessive linen meant to warn you away from leaning forward till your face meets his.

“Careful where you point those eyes, sweetheart. Don’t go givin’ me a reason to make a dishonest woman out of you.” His warning only makes you want to lean in more, test just how dishonest he’s willing to make you, in a dress you wore for another man, upon a forest floor covered by moss, and mud, and rainfall.

He’s stepping back and holding out his hand before you can even try, saving you the trouble of mixing up your head even more. 

Careful steps back to his car, where the radio plays on as Prince’s voice slowly fades out. The headlights are back on, the key sits in the ignition, and you half wonder just how quickly he chased after you, abandoning his precious car so carelessly at the side of a darkened country road, free for any Tom, Bill, or Sally to claim for themselves.

“You’re lucky I got spare clothes in the back,” Jack’s voice echoes out from where he stands, bent at the waist, and rummaging through the floor of the back seats. You want to think he’s not going this on purpose, putting himself on display so obviously, but it feels easier on your conscience to blame him for your own inability to stray your eyes away from how snugly the soaked dress pants hug his behind. “Ain’t no hope in hell I’d let you in my car, all drippin’ wet.”

“You never used to complain about me being wet in your car.”

It’s a quickfire response, the kind you don’t quite get the chance to think over before you say it. Though it may shock your own ears to hear, it seems to shock poor Jack more, the smack with which his head hits against the car’s roof loud enough that you almost feel it in your skull.

You rush over to his side, dress dragging through more mud, and more leaves, and more broken gravel. No chance to even rest your hand upon his arm, Jack’s already pulled himself out the car to face you, a splash of pink brewing across his cheeks and a hand soothing over the back of his head. In the backseats, his hat lays abandoned, knocked off in the commotion.

“Can’t just be sayin’ things like that, darlin’,” he says as he holds out a change of clothes for you, smugness in his voice yet a shake in his hand. “Not unless you’re tryin’ to give old Jack over here a heart attack.”

In silence, you both turn your back on each other. Jack does so in spare of your modesty, and you, in search of someplace dry to lay down his clothes. You do so upon the passenger seat, hands immediately contorting every manner of way they can to reach the dress’ buttons that span down the length of your spine, each more finicky than the last. You manage to free only two, in the very centre, before you sigh and wonder if the entrapment you feel in the white gown could get any more literal than this.

“Jack,” it only feels right to seek out his aid, you tell yourself, the sooner the buttons are undone, the sooner the dress will be off, the sooner you’ll be changed, and the sooner you’ll both get back on the road again, destination unknown. It only makes sense, really, so who could blame you when you say, “come help me out my dress.”

No reply comes your way.

At first, you think he’s not heard you. Then, you worry that he has, and is choosing to ignore such a request, thinking it best he keeps his hands away from any act that involves undressing you. Then, fear that you’ve given him that heart attack after all. Fingers brush wet hair off your shoulders before you can turn to check on the cowboy.

Cicadas scream out into the night, and some faceless host rants over the car radio about the rising conspiracy theory of spycams in childrens’ toys, and your heart beats louder than any set of drums could ever hope, but all you can hear is the steady breaths Jack pulls in and blows out behind you, so close you feel each exhale brush your skin. His fingers do so too, with each button they pop loose, each inch of skin he reveals.

Before you can ask him to touch you with more than just his mouth and breath, his own voice fills your ears.

“I used to dream about doin’ this someday.”

“I think we both know this isn’t the first time you’ve gotten a girl out her dress, Jack.”

“Is your mind ever anywhere but the damn gutter?” A pinch delivered against your left side, a chastising tsk accompanying his words. “I meant that I dreamt about this, me helpin’ you take your weddin’ dress off.”

There’s an audible hitch in your breath, one that perfectly tells Jack everything your own voice seems to fail to. Air stings at your eyes, yet you refuse to blink, too aware of the tears building within them. His warm hands dance back up your spine as the final button is loosened, tracing slowly over skin he’d once memorised, a missionary returning to the land it once knew.

Your dress falls to the floor.

“‘Course I never thought I’d be doin’ it on the side of the road, but beggars can’t be choosers.”

TRACK 3 — lover you should’ve come over

“Wait, are these pyjama pants?”

The realisation dawns upon you twenty minutes after you hit the road again. Confined to the small space of the Bronco with little to look at— besides Jack, his clothes still damp and smelling of summer rain, a towel laid over his seat— you’ve resorted to the finer details, picking apart the scraps of clothing he’d handed you. A plain white t-shirt that, when paired with one of his tight-fitting jeans and a corduroy-lined leather bomber jacket, becomes a Jack Daniels staple. You find it best to ignore how it smells of campfire, and sweat, and the cologne you’d bought Jack on your last anniversary. He’s paired it with a pair of blue chequered pyjama pants, loose-fitting yet tied securely around your waist by a fraying draw-string.

“Took myself and the old gal up to Alaska a few weeks back, chasin’ after a view of the Northern Lights.” There’s a flash of something hot, bright, green as you register his words, myself and the old gal, tamed and dampened only when you remember that’s what Jack calls the Bronco, his old gal. “I was livin’ out my car the whole trip, figured it was easier than trynna find some inn out in the middle of the Alaskan woods. In fact, if you check down there, pretty sure you’ll find some uneaten energy bars I packed for the trip.”

He seems to point aimlessly down at a space around your legs, hand back on the wheel and guiding the wheels around a harsh bend before you can truly pinpoint what he’s referring to. You settle on the glove compartment, sitting upright and reaching a hand out to pop it open.

Then you remember what it houses, the weapons Jack carries in there. The lasso, the whip, the pistol, the bullets. A sickness burns your throat, your eyes unable to even glance down at the opened compartment, instead searching for Jack’s own eyes that stare back with equal amounts of surprise.

“I forgot those were in there.” He steals the words right out your own mouth, a nervous chuckle following them. You’d known to never touch the dreaded compartment, for your own sake, too eager to forget about the parts of him that made him an agent, the parts of him that put him in danger. “You can read ‘em, if you want. They were written for you anyway.”

Confusion floods the soul, curiosity winning over survival and dictating that you muster the courage to turn your head, take a peak at what sits inside the glove box. When you do look, you find there’s no whip nor pistol, no piece of Agent Whiskey in sight. What is there are the energy bars he’d promised, a hiking guidebook of sorts, a map, and a stack of wrinkled envelopes.

One glance back at Jack, he encourages you to take them with a nod, and so, you do. Feel the weight of them all in your hands, do your best to not drop any as you pull them out onto your lap. They scatter all over you, each a different shade of white, unopened and all sporting a red return to sender stamp. All appear addressed to the same place, and it takes only a moment of wondering why it seems so familiar for you to realise.

It’s your old address.

“They’re all labelled with dates, I wrote the first one a few weeks after you left. Wasn’t sure where you’d moved to, I figured there was a chance you’d gone back to your old place. I never forgot about how much you loved that apartment,” he says, and you did. Leaving it behind had been hard, the first real home you’d made for yourself since moving out of your parent’s place, the first space you made your own in the world. The idea of making a new space with Jack, a place you could build together, share together, had outweighed the pain of saying goodbye to your little one-bed apartment. “Wrote the second one because you didn’t reply, and I was missin’ you. Then I just kept writin’ em, and sendin’ em, and waitin’ on you writin’ back, even if just to tell me to get lost. I got a note back, along with the letters, but it wasn’t from you. Some older couple moved in to your old place, told me they’d been keepin’ em all safe incase you ever came round to collect your old mail, but they figured it was time I stopped writin’ to a ghost.”

Attentive to his every word, you search for the letter with the earliest date. Sent two weeks after things ended, with a colourful stamp and a seal that’s slightly opened at the edges, the glue’s hold loosening with time and neglect. You tear it open completely and unfold the sheets of paper found within, eyes drawn immediately three quarters down the page.

I saw our friends tonight for the first time since you left. They asked how you’re doing and where you were. I thought they were just being cruel at first but no, they didn’t know about the break up. I told them you weren’t feeling well, that you decided to stay home tonight. I guess I just wanted one more night where you were still mine, even if it was just in the eyes of our friends. I will tell the truth next time I see them.

You feel as though you’re invading his privacy, reading over words he’d written months ago, despite being the intended audience. That doesn’t mean you have the willpower to stop, however, eyes diving deeper down the page.

Or maybe I won’t have to tell them. Maybe, next time I see them, you’ll have come home. There’s still a chance for us. I believe it because I love you. You said this wasn’t something we can fix. I think you’re wrong. There’s never been an issue we couldn’t solve by talking it through, why should this one be any different? Let’s get coffee, darling. Our usual place, our usual time, next Tuesday. We can get through this, you just have to let me know it’s something you want, that I’m something you still want. 

Jack’s quiet in the driver’s seat, forgiving with the time he gives you to read over his letters. When the turning of pages and the ripping of envelopes rings too heavy in the car, your shoulders tensing up in a discomfort of disrupting the peaceful silence, he wordlessly turns the radio back up and the voice of Jeff Buckley greets you both.

You return to his letters, the second he’d sent already open in your palm.

I went to our usual spot. You never showed up. Your lack of reply to my letter should have been enough to tell me that, but I still had hope. Maybe I really am a fool. Our friends seem to think so. I told them about us and they immediately asked what I’d done wrong. There was no answer I could give them. The worst thing isn’t just that I’ve lost you, it’s that I don’t even know why.

You open the next envelope, and the next one, and the next one, paragraphs melting together into a heartbroken shape.

I tried to sleep in our bed. I lasted half an hour before crawling back to the guest room.  Our room just feels too empty without you. I smell you everywhere no matter how many new sheets I buy.

Eggsy and Tilde got married. It’s the first wedding I’ve been to without you. I’m doing a lot of firsts without you recently. I hate it. Our friends (am I wrong to call them our friends? I’m not ready to just call them mine) tried setting me up with someone new. They showed me a picture and she’s beautiful, but I just kept comparing her to you. Against your beauty, she’s nothing.

Your mother was at the Statesman ground tour today. I was surprised to see her, she already done the tour years ago. I tried not to talk about you too much, I didn’t want her knowing how desperate I am to hear about you. Congratulations on your promotion, I always knew you’d get it. I’m so proud of you for finally applying for it. I heard you’ve started seeing somebody, a veteran turned mechanic. Your mother was kind enough to give me his name. I hope you understand that I don’t want to invade your privacy but I had to make sure you’re safe. The guy’s got a clean slate, other than a sketchy trip down to South America with some other vets. He seems like a good man. I want you to get your happy ending. Are you happy? I’m not. 

Only one envelope remains unopened. The weight of it sits heavy in your lap, a fear settling in that has you not wanting to open it. You study the front of it, find out it was mailed three months ago. The radio moves in sync with you, it seems, the song that plays reaching its climatic moment at the same time as you do, tearing open the final letter. Next to you, Jack clears his throat and wrings his hands over the steering wheel.

This last one, you read the letter in full.

Darling girl,

Spring came faster this year. The daffodils you planted bloomed in early March. I’ve been tending to the garden, I know how much love you put into it. The flowers are coming up alright, the fruit and vegetables not so much. If only I had your green thumb.

I visited Tequila last week. I don’t know if it’s right to call him that anymore. Champ’s still not named his successor, part of me thinks he wants to retire it. That’s not what Tequila would’ve wanted. He would’ve wanted Ginger taking on the mantle. The grounds he’s on are beautiful, if not sombre. They overlook a lake, and the grass is cut everyday, and the sun shines on his grave from sunrise to sunset. I didn’t say much to him, just sat and enjoyed the view. Thought about a lot of things, and finally realised why you left.

You were scared. For me. I thought you were being selfish, breaking my heart like that, but I finally understand how awful that day must’ve been for you. We’d just buried my comrade, our friend, and you had to watch Tequila’s wife say her last goodbye, knowing it was almost me in that casket and you on the podium. That was my mission he went on, I could’ve been the one who didn’t come home to the woman I love.

I’m sorry I took so long to understand. I retired from my position at Statesman. I’m agent Whiskey no more. I’m coming to find you, and hope you give me one last real try at fixing us.

Love always,

your Jack.

“Your wedding invitation found me first,” Jack says, foot off the accelerator, eyes off the road, hands on the wheel.

The weight of his stare drags down to your lap, where the heap of papers now all sit, piled atop one another and rustling with every movement you make. Your own eyes have welled with tears that slip down the apples of your cheeks and splash the papers below, smudging the ink.

The confirmation of his invite knocks out the questions of how he wound up in the pews.

“I didn’t invite you,” you’re unsure if the truth is crueller than fiction. No part of you wants him to think you’d be so spiteful, so hurtful as to invite him to a day you’d once promised to share together. “I didn’t invite anyone. I was… busy, with work. My mom dealt with the invites, she must’ve written you down by accident.”

Your lips may be the ones to say it, but your own ears struggle to believe. Your mother’s always been a meticulous woman, practical, with her affairs eternally in order. The only mistakes she makes are the ones she means to.

“Yeah,” Jack sighs out from the driver’s seat, resignation in his voice. “I figured you didn’t invite me.”

TRACK 4 — 50 ways to leave your lover

Jack drives deeper into the night.

Out the car window, you watch as the world flies by, a blur of unlit trees and unmarked road signs. Earlier’s storm has rolled away and revealed the blanket of stars above, twinkling alongside a full moon. The road is long, and winding, and seemingly never ending. There’s no discussion of destination, no sanctuary you’re waiting to reach. You feel no urgency for it, either. So long as you sit right where you are, passenger in a car, you don’t have to take the wheel, you don’t have to choose where to go, or what to do. You can just exist within this liminal space, where no wedding lies in the balance and no hearts lay broken.

It’s just you and Jack, like the old days, going for a drive.

“Ask me,” permission comes off your tongue as you observe the driver and his less than subtle glances your way. “I can see the wheels turning in your head. Everything you wanted to know in the diner, I promise I’ll answer this time.”

“I guess I’m tryin’ to put myself in your shoes, figure out what was runnin’ through that pretty head of yours,” Jack is, at his core, a gentleman. For hours, he’s let you sit beside him, biting his own tongue and fighting back his own curiosity, a trait so vital to his existence it led him into a world of spies, and guns, and movie-esque kinds of evil. Even now, with your promised approval, he eases his way into his questioning, the part of him that knows you better than your own self dictating that this is something he must address with care.  “How’d you do it?”

“I just slipped out the back, Jack,” there’s a chuckle of sorts that welcomes itself out the depths of Jack’s chest, your choice of words going hand in hand with that of the Paul Simon record reaching its end over the radio. As quick as the humour appears, it goes, leaving nothing but the unfortunate reality of the situation. “Someone left a door open, it led out onto the back gardens. The further away I got, the faster I started to run. I made it all the way past the highway on foot before an older couple pulled over. They dropped me off at a diner, and that’s where I stayed until-”

“Until I found you,” it’s a reminder you shouldn’t want, the image of Jack setting off to find you in the midst of the commotion of a missing bride. It’s not healthy for your poor psyche, already at odds with what it wants, no need for further complications brought on by unresolved feelings. You can’t help but smile at him, however, no filter strong enough to cover your subconscious’ joy. “Why did you run away?”

Your smile fades.

The promise you made is already at threat of being broken. You thought there’d be more questions, more time until he hit you with the heaviest of them all.

Why did you run away?

You know the answer. Of course you’ve known the answer, from the moment you decided to turn on your heel and sprint down the halls, in search of an escape. As much as you can pretend otherwise, and feign naivete, you can’t change the truth. That doesn’t mean you’re ready to admit it out loud, and so you refute it with a question of your own: “Why did you come to the wedding?”

It would be easy to forgive Jack for getting irate when faced with your avoidant response. He doesn’t even acknowledge it. Instead, he spins the steering wheel and shoots you a smile, the kind that used to keep you warm at night.

“I wasn’t goin’ to come at first,” comes his admittance. You can’t say you blame him, really, a picture of yourself in his shoes, receiving an invite to his wedding. The thought conjures a painful throb from your heart. “Nearly tossed the damn thing into the fireplace when I got it. A few weeks later, I met with Champ for a drink. Drank myself blind, till I started tellin’ him all about the invite. He told me I had to come.”

A lift of your eyebrows, a snap of your head towards him. There’s a desire to have his full attention on you. There’s also the awareness that the road acts as a buffer for the tensing heartache that swells and lulls between you, each exchange of words a game of painful chess. You make the choice to bring forth a pawn this once, a simple why?

“He said I’ve been livin’ with life on pause since you left, maybe watchin’ you marry another man would be the thing to help me hit play at last.”

INTERLUDE — go your own way

Like tires upon gravel, time rolls on.

No matter how easy it is to forget about the world outside, look out the window and pretend you’re simply on a train, trapped in a constant onward motion, there’s no ignoring the orange glow that begins to grow on the horizon, nor the red lights on the car radio that read 05:38. A new day grows fast upon you and, where you remain mute to it, Jack can not allow the fantasy to go on any longer.

The tires screech against the gravel and everything comes to a stop.

“Thinkin’ time’s up, sweetheart,” his hands retreat from the wheel, finding purchase on his thighs. You try not to follow their descent over the tailored suit, try not to think about the thick muscles that sit hidden beneath the black trousers. It’s not your place to think about them anymore. “Where are you goin’?”

Decision has never been something you’ve struggled with, much less when the choices are so simple and limited. Either you go back to the wedding venue, and meet whatever fate awaits you of scornful mothers, and disappointed fathers, and abandoned fiances. Or, you can go anywhere.

You make a mistake, let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t, and end up asking yourself where will Jack go. He still lives in the home you once shared, this you know. Will he go there, pour himself a drink, and try to forget this night even happened?

You can still picture it all. The coffee table Jack hand-carved, both your initials engraved on the side. The picture frames all along the wall, a mural of memories shared between you. The matching set of mugs, eternally sitting on the drying board, waiting for Jack to stagger his way down the stairs and fill them with boiling coffee. If you walked through that door again, would you find everything just the way you left it? Or, has he gotten a new table, changed the pictures in the frames, bought new mugs? Is there someone there, right now, sleeping in his bed and waiting on his return?

A bitter taste overcomes your tongue at the thought, your insides twisting up like you’ve not spent the past few months sleeping next to someone else and saying yes to proposals you weren’t expecting.

“What do you think I should do?” You don’t want him to tell you to go home, you want him to say come home.

“You can’t ask that of me. My answer’s gonna be nothin’ but selfish.” Would it really be so bad, you wish to ask, if Jack was selfish? Maybe life would be easier if he was. He clears his throat, like he clears his mind, and gone is your moment to tell him you want selfish. “I can say this, though… Your fiance’s a good man, a kind man. Kind enough to trust your parents words and let me, a stranger, go searchin’ for you. He deserves to know what decision you make. It ain’t just your weddin’, it’s his too.”

He’s right, and you hate it.

There’s no way you can tell him now that you were even contemplating not going back, of disappearing into the sunrise with him, driving till life leads you down the right roads to find a new home, your old home, Jack.

The muddied wedding dress seems to call to you from the car boot, a whispering of your name that tells you to put it back on, go back, and walk down that aisle. You owe that much to your fiance, if he’ll still have you. With him, you’ve never had to worry about him coming home safe. With him, you could live a happy enough life, keep yourself busy enough to ignore all the what-ifs your mind would try seduce you with.

Besides, that’s what Jack needs, right? To see you marry another man, a final nail in the coffin named us, so he can finally move on with his life. You owe him that much, at least.

With a nod of your head and the straightening of your spine, you set your choice in stone, “drive me back to him, Jack.”

The engine shudders to life and the radio sets itself back on course, some upbeat voice that demands you go your own way, a musical slap delivered upon your face. Jack turns the steering wheel, rerouting the car’s course with an effortless u-turn before he presses down on the accelerator, propelling you forward down the paths you’ve already travelled.

You tell yourself you’re doing the right thing, even if a familiar dread starts to settle in the pit of your stomach, brushing them off as rational nerves. Who wouldn’t be anxious when facing a man they left at the altar?

A yawn escapes you.

“We’re a few hours out from the chateau.” There’s something in his voice that weighs on him, the tone between you shifting to something of desperation. Goodbye is a few hours away. This time, for good. “Sleep, it’s late.”

“Aren’t you tired?” Pull over, you want to say. Let’s sleep. The wedding can wait a few more hours.

How unfortunate that he cannot read your thoughts, understand the intentions behind your staring as you recline your chair, turn to face him on your side, hands crossed protectively over your abdomen.

One blink, and your eyes are already fighting to stay open, dragging you down into the depths of slumber.

“I’m fine. Don’t sleep much these days anyway,” the sound of Jack’s voice fades slowly into the background, melting away with the hum of the engine, and the turn of the wheels, and the voice on the radio. “Never got used to the feeling of an empty bed.”

TRACK 5 — i’m on fire

When your eyes next open, the sun’s warmth is caressing your face.

The sound of children’s laughter fills the air, and the smell of smoke fills your lungs, and the feeling of resting against Jack’s shoulder fills you with dread. Fearful to move, you take in all of him that you can see from this angle.

There’s no suit upon him, replaced with the casualness of a cotton t-shirt and a pair of faded denims. The hat’s back on his head, the curls of ungelled hair that peak through dry as a bone. A cigarette rests neatly between fingers on his left hand, the right one grasping at the neck of a beer bottle. No wheel sits in front of him, no gear shift keeps space between you. The Bronco’s been replaced with the view of your parent’s backyard and the comfort of a well cushioned outdoor couch.

You know this memory.

You’ve lived this memory.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” just like you remember, Jack’s stubbing out the half-smoked cigarette the moment he notices your open eyes. “How you feelin’?”

“Like my uterus is trying to carve its way out of me,” your mouth plays along with the dream, speaking the same words it had years ago.

“That good, huh?” A beer stained kiss meets the corner of your mouth, another follows up to your forehead, as Jack’s free hand reaches into his pocket, reemerging with silver foil between two fingers. “Got these off your mother. Let me go get you somethin’ to eat, then you can take two, hm?”

You remember thinking that you love him. You didn't dare speak it, however, simply nodding as you took the blister packet of paracetamol out his offering grasp and uncurled your legs back down onto the floor, stretching your arms. Jack bends down, presses his lips against the crown of your head, and then he’s off, venturing over to where your father stands grilling another round of burgers on the barbeque.

Jack’s always been a confident man. He carries himself with a head held high and a careless smile on his face, no chip on his shoulder and no flare for anger in his bones. A southern gentleman, who knows his own charms and, most dangerously, how to use them. Place him alone with your father, however, and watch how he crumbles like a house of cards. To the untrained eye, it’s unnoticeable, but you don’t miss the glances he spies your father with each time he throws out a joke, nor the way his hands can never seem to relax, a nervous tic of drumming against his thighs or balling into fists as he makes conversation with the older man. He’s desperate for the approval of your monotonous father, so desperate he fails to see he won it months ago, 

“Eat up, drink up, you need it,” he says as he hands you the paper plate, and his half-drunk bottle of beer. He settles back down on the couch, pulling you into him once more. “Your old man was sayin’ we should probably head off soon, ‘fore it gets too late. Think he’s startin’ to warm up to me, he’s even worryin’ bout me drivin’ in the dark.”

“Oh, he loves you,” you take a bite, break two of the pills out their casing, wash them down with a swig of bitter beer. The summer sun burns in the corners of your eyes, forcing them into a squint. “He kept looking for you at the dinner table at my mom’s birthday, you should’ve seen his reaction when I told him you were stuck in New York slaving away in your office.”

Months later, you’d come to find out he wasn’t in New York, surrounded by mountains of paperwork, but somewhere in the south of France, hunting down some billionaire wine-maker with plans to poison the crops of surrounding vineyards, leaving only his wine safe to consume.

In your memory, Jack plucks the hat off his own head and rests it gently upon your own, a shaded barrier against the bright light in the sky. You thank him, he watches on quietly as you continue to eat, gaze not peeling itself away from you the whole time.

“What? Do I have ketchup on my face? Or, in my hair?” You’d asked him, mid-chew. No answer, more staring. Panic made a debut in your mind, suddenly alert to his unusual behaviour. “Wait, is it a bug? Jack, is there a bug in my hair?”

“I love you.”

No build up, no grand-speech, no overly romantic setting.

He said it like one shares the weather, or the time, or what they’re wanting for lunch. He said it like it was something he always said, would always say, despite it being the very first time you’d heard him do so. Tears had flown in quickly, your hormones already gone haywire with the unexpected arrival of shark week earlier that morning. There’s a vague assurance that you told him you loved him too, through tears, and he teased your weepy face with kisses down your cheeks and full-chested laughter.

“Bless your cotton socks, my sweet girl, cryin’ all cause old Jack says-”

“Tell me now baby, is he good to you?”

You jolt awake.

Jack’s by your side, suit on, hair air dried, one hand on the wheel, the other rests out the window. The roof is down, letting the sun shine on you and his caramel eyes. An old Springstein song plays in the background, the very same thing that coaxed you awake. Just like the dream, he takes a few minutes to notice your opened eyes, head turning your way as another car shoots off ahead of you both, overtaking him.

“You were mumblin’ in your sleep. Were you dreamin’ of somethin’ sweet?”

“I was,” too quick comes your reply. Too honest. Nerves have you stumbling over words, scrambling to pick them off the floor of your mind and spew out the first thing that doesn’t involve Jack and his easy-going professions of love. “About the first time my fiance told me he loves me.”

You regret it as soon as you speak, the visible halt to his smile. He overcorrects it, forcing a grin that stretches the corners of his mouth so tight it almost looks painful. “Well, c’mon, don’t go keepin’ it to yourself!”

“He, uh, wrote it in the sky.”

“How romantic. Pricey too, I bet.”

“It was his best man who did it, an ex military pilot.”

As you try to reminisce on the day, little memories blossom in your mind. Instead of vivid motion capture, the day is black and white, no sound. You don’t remember where you were, what he was wearing, how you felt when you read those words up above.

It happened only two months into your relationship, that you do remember. You also remember being parked in your old neighbourhood the night before, twenty minutes spent trying to will yourself to go knock on the door to your old home. The Bronco was in its usual spot, parked outside. No lights were on as you pulled away and willed yourself back to rational thinking.

“Jeez, if that’s how he’s tellin’ you he loves you, I can’t imagine how he proposed.”

You wonder if this is as tortuous for him as it is for you, listening to you detail the life you’d gone on to live just months after walking away from five years of love. “In a restaurant,” you can’t remember the name, or what you ate, or what you wore, as if the memory is one that doesn’t belong to you, never belonged to you. “I ordered dessert, ‘will you marry me?’ was written on it in cherry sauce.”

“You must’ve said yes immediately.”

“I did.”

You leave out the part where the whole restaurant had watched him get down on one knee, or the part where you rushed to the restroom right after accepting the ring, spewing your guts out in a stall. By morning, you told yourself it was fine, you were just feeling nervous. 

After all, you loved him enough to spend time with him, so why not spend the rest of your life with him?

TRACK 6 — she’s always a woman

It had been too easy to forget the thing you loved most about road trips with Jack.

It wasn’t his constant commentary of interesting facts on sites you’d drive past, or his love for taking the long-way to anywhere and everywhere, or his ever-present need to drag your hand up to his lips with every few miles.

The thing you loved most was listening to his voice, unfiltered, unashamed, outloud, singing along to his favourite songs. The voice of a crooning angel and the shyness of a bashful fox. Every so often, when he’d catch you watching him a little too fondly as he sang along, he’d throw in a voice crack, or twist up a lyric into a sickly innuendo.

In the present, it’s you who interrupts his spirited rendition of a Billy Joel classic.

“You were right, in the letters,” the leather of your seat squeaks as you fix your posture, sit yourself up straight if only to force yourself to stop observing the way his lips fall into a natural pout and, instead, focus on memorising the licence plate that drives ahead. “I’m sorry.”

“Right about what?” As though nothing has changed, his hand extends towards your own, effortlessly intertwining your fingers, beginning an ascent to his mouth before mind takes over instinct and he’s letting you go, setting you free.

You give up on the licence plate ahead, turn your face once more towards Jack and his pouty lips.

“I couldn’t be with Agent Whiskey anymore.” A relationship made up of a man, a woman, and an agent. Whiskey would kiss you goodbye in the morning, while Jack would be the one to come home to you. With the passing of time, three became a crowd, and so you removed yourself. “I didn’t want to break your heart, Jack, I swear. But I also didn’t want to let you break mine. And you did, every time you walked out of our home and left me wondering if you’d ever come back. Then, when Tequila… You loved your job. You loved being Agent Whiskey. How could I ask you to leave that part of you behind?”

“Darlin’ if you think there’s any world where losin’ you was easier than losin’ Whiskey, you’re out of your mind.” Like his first I love you, he speaks words that flow out of him as easily as an exhale, as though they carry no weight to them. As though they do not momentarily flip your world on its axis and have you wishing he’d turn the car around, driving you both off into the forever you never got.

Yet another car overtakes the Bronco, its driver angrily pressing on his horn. You both continue to ignore the speed at which Jack drives. Up ahead, everything you’ve been dreading comes into view, an unmissable billboard. Clearview Manor.

50 miles to go. 50 miles till goodbye. 

“I’m hungry.”

“Those energy bars should still be in there, if you’re wantin’-”

“Jack, I’m hungry,” you say it louder, hoping he’ll pick up what you’re laying down.“Can’t we stop somewhere for breakfast?”

His answer comes in the form of a left blinker switching on, wheels cutting over gravel and carrying you off the main road. Then, as if to break your heart some more than his last declaration, he turns to you. “If it had been me waitin’ on you at the end of the aisle, would you have ran?”

You try to picture it.

Jack, in his suit and tie, hands clasped behind his back to keep him from drumming nervous fingers over his thighs, eyes brimming with tears as you take your first step down the aisle. Would the panic have settled in? Would you have felt that same wrongness as when you’d been sneaking a peak at your fiance waiting down the aisle?

Would you have ran?

“It’s not something I planned, y’know? Running. I didn’t think it was even an option,” you’re laying your final card on the table, a truth you couldn't bring yourself to admit earlier at last coming out to play. You’re unsure if it dismisses or further condemns you for your runaway crimes. “I took a peak, at the ceremony hall, while waiting for my father. I needed to see what I was about to walk into. I guess I thought the nerves were just from that, the unknown. Then I saw you, a few rows from the back. At first I thought I was hallucinating, that you were just a man who happened to be wearing a cowboy hat. But then I saw my mum pulling you in for a hug, and I caught a glimpse of your face. That’s why I ran. I couldn’t… marry another man, not with you standing in the crowd.”

“You’ve not answered my question,” it’s the first you’ve seen Jack put his foot down since he dragged you out the diner, the seriousness etched into his frowning forehead and stamped onto his lips. “Would you have ran?”

“No.”

Jack just keeps driving.

TRACK 7 — dancing in the dark

“You can’t be serious!”

Squeezed into the corner booth of a dingy, run-down bar, you and Jack sit across from one another, digging into a stack of pancakes lathered in maple syrup.

The bartender and two of his patrons glance at you both every so often, and you have to wonder how odd a pair you and Jack must make. One dressed to the nines, if you ignore the dried mud at the bottom of his dress pants and his loosening tie, the other wearing yesterday’s make-up paired with cotton pyjama pants. You prefer it to the stares you’d gained in your wrinkled gown.

“Deadly. I’m a serious tap-dancin’ student,” his fork stabs into the fluffy goodness, dragging it along the plate, soaking the pancake in as much syrup as possible. You try not to think of mornings that used to be spent like this, sitting at your own table, flour in his hair and eggshells in your own, both of you ignoring the disastrous mess in the kitchen begging to be cleaned as you tuck into your homemade pancakes. “Retirement breeds weird hobbies.”

“Before long, you’ll be playing bingo at the old folks home.”

“I just have to ask, I really do,” a dread you haven’t felt since stepping out the car— with the help of Jack and his offering hand, the other holding your door open— creeps back in. You don’t want to talk about your own current reality, not when it’s been so easy to pretend none of the wedding fiasco happened and, instead, you’re simply catching up with Jack after bumping into each other in this bar.  “This fiance of yours… is he bigger than me?”

As quick as it inflates, the tension pops. 

“Oh my god, Jack!” You laugh, a little too loudly, and dip your head as other tables turn their heads your way.

“What?”

“You did not just ask me that.”

“Oh, but I did.”

“You can’t just say things like that!” In mock surrender, he throws his hands up. Your own grab ahold of your knife and fork once more, an ironclad focus on the near-empty plate as you will the shameful heat away from your face, mumbling over your words. “But, no, he isn’t bigger. Happy?”

“You’ve no idea.” As though you’re being haunted by music, a song begins to play over the speakers. You’re not the only one who takes notice, Jack’s eyes lighting up with a devious look, his legs already rising out of his seat. “Think that’s our queue, darlin’.”

“Sit back down.”

“Oh, c’mon now, don’t be so uptight,” he lays out his hand, begging for you to place your own in it. Flashes of a memory, six years back, the very same song playing as the very same man attempted to coax a dance out of you. “One dance, sweetheart, then I’ll leave you in peace.”

Just like your younger self, you’re incapable of resisting his baby cow eyes, letting him guide you out onto a makeshift dance floor before it’s too late to run back and hide in your seat, the eyes of strangers already piercing you with their questioning stares. If you weren’t deemed a strange pair with your attire alone, you certainly are now, feet stumbling awkwardly along with Bruce Springstein.

“This song was playin’ when we met,” he says it like you don’t know, like you don’t remember, like you aren’t replaying that night as you speak, pretending you’re both in that same crowd of swaying bodies, young, and naive, and on the cusp of experiencing the greatest love you’ll ever know, rather than here, on an empty dance floor, stumbling blindly through the hardships of holding each other so close, mutually aware you’re dancing on borrowed time and, soon, you’ll have to go. “Knowin’ now how it ends, if I was sent back in time, I’d still ask you to dance. I’d do it all again.”

“This gun’s for hire, even if we’re just…”

He spins you, drags you closer, sways you. It’s far less care-free than the first dance you shared, no alcohol to dull the shame and a whole lot of history packed between your bodies.

The first dance had been the thing you had dreaded most about your wedding, dancing with your husband, to a whole room of loved ones watching. Dancing now with Jack— even through all the embarrassment you feel as an elderly couple point over at you— feels easier, less daunting, so much so that you can’t help the way you start to laugh, arms loosening around his shoulders, hips moving less abashedly.

The two of you inch closer, and closer, and closer as the song reaches its end. Like a happy couple finishes their first dance, Jack’s mouth lands atop yours.

A gentle kiss, innocent of sin, it begs you to give back, to press your own mouth against his. You answer its calling, hand clasping at the back of his neck, holding him safely against you, less he drifts away and reveals this all to have been a dream, a nightmare, a delusion. Like coming home after a cold winter’s day, his kiss is the comfort of knowing you’re exactly where you belong.

And it’s absolutely terrifying.

You rip away from him, flashes of your fiance’s face blinding you as you stumble off, doing what you do best: running away. You miss the way the patrons all go back to their own drinks, and the way a new song comes on, and the way Jack chases after you, stopped only by the slamming of a bathroom door.

You come up for air when you find yourself faced with the image you paint in the mirror.

Never has there been a more heartbroken girl, eyes a mess of tears, and faded eyeliner, and smudged mascara, hair a nest fit enough for any bird to build its home in, body draped in the clothing of an ex-lover. It’s almost as frightening as the image you made yesterday, wedding gown freshly laced and make-up pristinely done.

A knock rings against the door. 

It’s followed by a gentle call of your name.

You switch on the tap, welcome the cold splash of water over your face. Pray that, if you scrub hard enough, you’ll wipe away the taste of him, forget the shape of his touch, purge yourself of the desire to follow anywhere he may go. Your hand slips down your face, the dim bathroom light catches on something.

Your engagement ring, a tight shackle that binds you to someone else, reminds you of the closure you owe to Jack.

He calls your name again.

“Darlin’,” it’s muffled behind the door, but the regret in his voice is all too clear. “I just got caught up, I’m sorry. Come on out and we’ll get back on the road-”

The hinges creak as the door opens, only a crack, and your hand shoots out, grabbing a hold of Jack’s tie before you can will yourself to be rational.

He lets you invade his space with little protest, mouths returning to the dance they never got to complete. Hands move, slipping off ties, and undoing draw strings, and locking doors. There’s a mumble, are you sure, followed by a moan, please.

All hope of forgetting his skin is lost, a leg hooked around his waist, fingers tangled in his hair. He bites at your neck, and kisses along your jaw, and pants into your ear, all the while his hips rock back and forth against your own, filling you inch by inch. Mouth covered by your own hand, muffling a cry of his name as you feel him brush against that spine-tingling spot inside you. Your head falls back, eyes slip shut. Jack’s quick to rectify it.

“Watch, darlin’,” he whispers, a hand tilting your eyes down to where your two bodies meet. “ Want you to see how perfectly your lil’ pussy takes me.”

You do as he says, hypnotised by the sight of his cock, glistening in your own arousal, sawing in and out of you, each thrust deeper than the last.  

“He can’t fuck you like this, can he?” Despite his ego-fueled words, there’s a desperation in his voice, a soul lost in a sea of darkness, searching for a life jacket. “Tell me he can’t.”

He can’t, you tell him, clinging onto him tighter, needier, begging him to never leave.

Any minute now, you worry, someone’s going to knock on the bathroom door, kick you both out. Instead, the music that plays outside the door seems to increase in volume.

“Fuckin’ made for me, meant for me,” both of you grow increasingly desperate, fingernails digging into flesh, and mouths rejoining in a frenzy of kisses, and the tightening of an invisible string, drawing you nearer and nearer to the edge. “My sweet girl.”

An end that comes all too soon, both of you exhausted, and spent, and collapsing against one another, a sticky mess left between your legs where his hips continue to rut into you through his own overstimulation.

“I’m sorry,” his head falls against your shoulder, burrows into the warmth of your neck. There’s a press of his lips against your skin, and a million apologies that follow. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I love you, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I love you.”

“It’s okay, Jack,” you lie, sooth a hand over his back, ignore the tears you feel falling against your skin.

TRACK 8 — hit the road jack

The clock reads 13:18 as Jack brings the car to a stop.

A set of stairs lead up to a grand double-doored entrance, a sign post declaring the extravagant building as Clearview Manor. Rented for the whole weekend, the wedding party isn’t cited to leave until late Monday evening. Though all cars remain parked in the driveway, no familiar faces await your arrival.

“I hope you get your happy ending,” the two of you step out of the car in sync. A voice whispers that it’s the last time you’ll step out the Bronco, you brush it off and follow Jack as he makes his way over to the boot. “No one deserves it more than you, Jack.”

“No promises, darlin’,” he extends his arms to you, you almost move in for a hug.

The sight of your wedding dress, no longer porcelain white, stains of brown upon a greying fabric, reminds you of why you’re here. You try your best to smile earnestly as you take it off his hands, but fear it only heightens the distress that dilates your pupils. “I’ll see you inside, right?”

The boot slams shut, and it’s an awful reminder that your time together is coming to a close, Jack dons his signature smile, cowboy hat back on his head, a head that’s shaking no.

“The mighty fool that I am, thinkin’ I could stomach watchin’ you get married to another man. After this little road trip of ours… well, I guess I just ain’t ready to hit play yet.” A tongue made of lead, shoes filled with weights. Moving feels impossible, talking even more so. You want to say his name, tell him you don’t need to marry another man, crawl back into the Bronco and beg him to drive off. “Go’on, get! There’s a good man in there, waitin’ to give you everythin’ you deserve.”

Instead, you just turn on your heel, take the first step towards the rest of your life. A life without Jack.

Halfway up the stairway, the sound of Jack’s engine reaches your ears, followed quickly by the obnoxiously poignant car radio, giving its final performance for you both.

“Hit the road, Jack, and don’t you come back, no more, no more, no more, no more!”

Eyes meeting where Jack sits, back in the driver’s seat, you share one last laugh.

OUTRO — everywhere

“Thank god you’re okay.”

Two arms, strong and secure, wrap around your waist.

On the other side of the bridal suite door stands both your mother and your mother in law, ushered out by your fiance upon your return the moment he noticed the panic on your face as questions and fingers prodded at you.

You block out the thought of the scowling faces, burrowing your own into the space between his shoulder and neck, whispering your inquiry on, “how bad is the damage?”

“We told everyone you were suffering from food poisoning. All our guests think you’ve been spewing out of both ends the past few hours, but I think that’s justified for the bruising you’ve given my ego.”

“Santi,” the shape of your fiance’s name feels foreign in your mouth, the taste of it sour on your tongue, so much so that you can’t say it in full. “I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t be, what matters is you’re here now.”

Jack was right, your fiance is a nice man. A good man. A man anyone would be lucky to land in the arms of, the kind of man people dream of, and romance authors write of.

But to you, his arms just feel like a cage you’ve lost the key for. “Why did you ask me to marry you?”

“I don’t know. We just… make sense.”

“We do,” you pull apart, at last, nodding your head along to his answer. “But is that all marriage should be? Two people who make sense?” You stumble a few steps back from him, feet needing space to begin pacing back and forth as your filter slips and the word-vomit begins to spew itself out onto the pristine carpeted floors. “Do you really love me enough to spend the rest of your days with me? Because I don’t think you do, and I don’t think I love you like that either.”

Santiago is calm, collected, and completely unresponsive.

The longer he watches you pace and rant, the quicker you do each thing, as though you’re racing ahead to escape the fear of breaking his heart more than you already have, his love possibly more intense than you make it seem. He ends that fear in one foul swoop of words.

“When you didn’t walk down the aisle, I felt relieved. I also slept with someone at my bachelor party and the guilt has been eating me alive.”

“I just fucked my ex in a bathroom!” In an almost paradoxical response, the pair of you keen over in laughter, any expected animosity thrown out the metaphorical window and leaving you both no choice but to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. “God, we’re a mess.”

“Wait, the cowboy’s your ex? I should’ve known, your dad told him you were gone before he even bothered to tell me.” Santiago had little luck at winning over your dad, though admittedly it was no fault of his own but, rather, your father had yet to move on from Jack. There’s a sudden commotion as Santi rushes past you, peeling back the curtains and peering down out the window. “What car is it the cowboy drives?”

“A Bronco.”

“Well, you might wanna hurry, because he’s just pulling out of the parking bays.” It’s more than just a warning. It’s a blessing to leave. Overcome with emotion, you dive back into his arms and find there’s no fear of goodbye, not like there had been with Jack. An engagement ring that slips off with no resistance, no longer a shackle that ties you both together. You hand it back to him gently. “Go, before it’s too late! I’ll take care of this mess, see if I can spin this in a way that’s heartbreaking enough to get our deposit back.”

There’s more you want to say, but now’s not the time. Apologies and thank-yous can wait till you pick up your things from his apartment, right now you’re too busy rushing to the door.

A call of your name comes when you’ve got one foot out it, treading into the now motherless hallway. You face Santiago with a smile, ready to say that magic word. 

Goodbye.

“Promise me one thing.”

“Anything.”

“Don’t invite me to your wedding.”

You make it out the double-doors, which slam loudly shut behind you, before you spot the retreating shape of Jack’s car and an anxious glee commands you to break out into a sprint, legs kicking faster than they ever have before.

Don’t speed up, you think, watching as the Bronco slowly creeps down the driveway.

“Jack!” You call out to him, hoping that, with the open roof, he’ll somehow hear you over the radio. Pushing your feet to move a little faster, your arms join the mix, waving wildly to the wind, a careless attempt to catch his attention in the rearview mirror. “Wait!”

The car breaks with a squeak, the blaring music comes to a halt, and Jack turns to face you with his own eyes, as though he can’t trust the mirrors. When you reach the car, you pull at the door handle and find he’s already unlocked it. You slide in with ease, back into the seat you’ve always belonged in: by his side.

He can’t seem to move, frozen with his eyes focused on nothing but you.

“Drive, jack,” you finally proclaim, asking him what you should’ve the moment you saw him in that diner, in the pews, in the heartbreaking hours post-burying a friend.

“Where to, darlin’?”

“Anywhere, everywhere!” You can’t help the smile that overcomes you as he pulls your hand up to his mouth, planting a familiar kiss upon it, before the engine hums back to life. “It doesn’t matter, as long as I’m with you, all roads lead home.”

Like old times, you lean forward and turn up the radio, a familiar tune filling the air as you sink back into your seat, the wind back in your hair and an open road laying ahead, ready to lead you both wherever the wheels may take you.

“Oh I, I wanna be with you everywhere.”

bts with hyde. this is just a little reflective commentary that i put down here, to avoid flooding my author's note with too much rambling. please feel free to skip this!!

this fic is a compilation of firsts for me. it's the first challenge i've taken part in within the pedro fanspace, which has been equally exciting as it has been daunting. i struggle immensely with writing on a time schedule, and so i'm pretty proud of myself for not posting this (too) late.

this is also my first time writing for jack. admitedly, i'm not sure if i've done justice to him, as his character is somehow incredibly strong and, yet, so open for interpretation that i found myself struggling to connect with him in my writing. i have no plans to write for him in any future wips, but that might change. it was definitely fun to push myself out my comfort zone and write for a new character!

something i want to praise myself for is the attention i put into smaller details of this fic. for example, each flower mentioned in this fic has a very specific symbol/meaning attached to it, fitting with the themes of the scenes in which they're mentioned. the other place i hyperfocused on very unimportant details is the playlist. it opens and closes on the only two songs fronted by a female vocalist, with my intention being that these songs are a representation of the reader's inner turmoils and thoughts in the opening and closing scenes. the rest of the playlist is full of male vocalists, giving a peak into jack's mind despite the entire fic being told through the reader's eyes.

okay, i've given myself enough delusional and unnecesary praise, i'm going to sleep now. please don't be mean if you didn't like this fic, it's literally my birthday 🫡

if you've read this far, ily, i hope you have a good day !

[mountainficss]

hello rae how are you i hope your day is going well🥺🥺

you probably saw the cheol’s videos from rimowa event, he was very impressive and charming🥲 seventeen posted a video on ig and the part where he holds a champagne glass in his hand 🫠

he gives the ex vibe watching his ex girlfriend from afar. it was like they had been separated for a while, it would be exciting to imagine that when he saw that she was dancing with another man in a club, he couldn't stand it and he grab her by the hand, pull her out of there and the two have a hard time resisting each other…can’t imagine that sexual tension😩

(english is not my first language sorry😘💞🥺)

!! mentions of: drinking, jealousy, slight angst, oral sex, unprotected sex, semi-public sex

hi there, my love! my days have been going well, i hope you are doing great <3 i actually haven’t seen the videos, but i can totally imagine the ex boyfriend vibe. it’s so seungcheol.

he’d be seated at the bar, watching you with envy as you dance with another man. he was gripping his champagne glass so hard he was sure it would shatter beneath his fingertips. you two had broken up a few weeks ago, but seungcheol had never truly let you go. he thinks about you almost daily, but his pride gets in the way of reaching out to you and trying to repair what you had. even though he hasn’t spoken to you, seeing you with another man would cause jealousy to bubble in his stomach. he wondered if you had moved on, and the thought almost tore him apart. he needed you, needed you like he needed to breathe. he knew no other man could love you like he did, could give you what you needed. he knew he could truly make you happy, and that caused him to set aside his pride and shoot up from his seat at the bar. he’d slam his glass down, dodging all of the sweaty bodies on the dance floor and making his way towards you. your eyes would widen as you see him standing in front of you, and you’d feel his hand grab yours, wordlessly yanking you away from your dance partner. “seungcheol?” you’d fume over the booming music, the loud sounds of the club becoming faint as he drags you towards the exit. he doesn’t answer, and you don’t fight him, just let yourself be dragged along as he throws open the door and pulls you outside with him. the night air is cool, and it creates goosebumps on your exposed arms. “what do you want?” you’d bite at him, scanning his face for any hint of emotions. his expression was cold, but his eyes softened as he studied your face. you were still the prettiest thing he’d ever seen, even with your face twisted into such a displeased look. and you were wearing his favorite dress too, your silky short one that hugged all the right places. he was a fool to ever let you go. “he was sketchy. i didn’t want you around him,” seungcheol would answer simply, watching as you roll your eyes at him. “it was a dance, cheol. i don’t know what the big fucking deal is. i was having fun,” you’d retort, crossing your arms over your chest defiantly. “you can dance with me next time,” he’d mumble quietly, receiving a loud scoff from you. “you’re unbelievable.” you’d scowl, ripping your gaze from him and staring at the concrete below your heels. as much as you want to stay mad at him, you do miss him. it’s not something you’d like to admit, but you would rather be dancing with seungcheol. “i’m sorry,” he’d apologize gently, his eyes never once leaving your face. you didn’t answer, still focused on kicking at the pebble beneath your heel. the pout adorning your lips was adorable to him, but he did feel a slight guilt knowing he upset you. “can i take you home?” he’d question cautiously, knowing you were still a bit irritated with him. he was expecting you to decline, but a part of him hoped that you would let him. this would give him an opportunity to make things right with you, and he’s not sure if he’ll get another chance again. “fine,” you’d huff, arms still crossed around your chest as you lift your gaze from the ground. you wouldn’t look at seungcheol, would just stare in the direction of the parking lot and wait for him to lead the way. “let’s go.”

he’d offer you his arm to grab, and you’d reluctantly take it after a few beats of hesitation. you wanted to ignore him, but your heels were starting to hurt your feet and you missed the feeling of clinging to his arm (even though you won’t admit it). once he guides you to his car, he’d open the passenger side for you and help you settle in. you’d cross your arms over your chest again, pouting cutely in his front seat as he closes the door for you. everything you do is so endearing to him, even when you’re trying so hard to stay mad at him. he’d sit down into the driver’s seat and start the car, backing out of the parking lot in silence. after a few minutes on the road he’d glance over at you, head turned towards the window and watching the blur of buildings pass by. “i’m sorry,” seungcheol would start softly, finally building up the courage to break the suffocating silence. “for everything. i’m sorry we didn’t work out. i’m sorry i didn’t try harder to fix us.” he’d inhale deeply, gripping the steering wheel a bit tighter. “and i’m sorry i ruined your dance. i know you were enjoying yourself, and i’m sure you’ve moved on by now. i can admit that i haven’t though, so seeing you with someone else made me jealous.” he’d see you slightly crane your head towards him out of his peripheral, and he’d swallow nervously. “you mean so much to me. i never really stopped loving you, and i wish i didn’t let so many weeks pass before i told you all of this. i’m so sorry our relationship turned out the way it did, and i don’t want you to think i ever stopped thinking about you even after we broke up.” by the end of his confession, he had pulled up to your driveway and switched his car to park. he’d unbuckle his seatbelt, turning towards you and shooting you a sad smile. “thank you for letting me get this off my chest. i’ll walk you inside, okay?” he’d turn away from you to reach for his door handle, but before he can grab it you’re fisting his shirt and pulling him in for a heated kiss over the console. his body would freeze with shock, but would soon snap out of it and kiss you back eagerly. he’d bring a hand up to carefully cup your face, tilting his head so he can kiss you deeper. you’d both only pull away to gasp for air, and in between breaths you’d answer him. “i’m sorry too, cheollie,” you’d whisper against his lips, receiving a peck from him. “if it makes you feel better,” you’d continue, undoing the buttons of his shirt lazily. “i never really stopped loving you either.” hearing you say those words would make him go feral, smashing his lips against yours once again with a newfound fervor. his free hand would travel to your chest, groping and squeezing over the fabric as you whine into his mouth. “missed this,” he’d growl, sending shivers up your spine. without a word, you’d completely detach yourself from him, clumsily climbing over the console to his backseat. as you climb back he’d catch a glimpse of your panties underneath your dress, setting a fire off in the pit of his stomach as he ungracefully follows you.

you didn’t care that the backseat was cramped, didn’t care that you were parked in your driveway sitting in your ex’s car, didn’t care. all you wanted was your cheollie, and now you were finally seated on his lap again as he kissed down the curve of your neck. you’d pull his hard cock out of his pants, giving it a few pumps as he whined into your neck. he was aching for you, missing the feeling of your body on top of him and your warm hole enveloping him. you tugged your panties to the side, sinking down onto his erection as you both let out wanton moans. you were positive his car was rocking back and forth as he fucked into you, but you both could care less. “l-let’s make up—ngh—for all the time we missed,” he’d groan as you bounce on him harshly. you’d nod eagerly, tangling your fingers into his hair. “mhm,” you’d agree with a fucked out smile. “let’s fuck again in my bed after this,” you’d choke out, receiving a breathy laugh from seungcheol. his hands would travel eagerly from your waist to your ass, grabbing and caressing every part of your body he could reach in the restricted space. your eyes would roll back into your skull as he hits your sweet spot repeatedly, almost abusing it as he feels you tighten around him. he’d stare up at you with glazed over eyes, his mouth open slightly as lewd sounds escape him. “let me sleep over tonight?” he’d plead, puppy eyes begging you to let him spend time with you. you couldn’t help but smile at his cuteness despite him fucking you stupid in the backseat of his car. “i’d l-love that,” you’d breathe, wondering if it was possible to love cheollie any more. (it was possible when he had you pinned to your bed after your first round in his car, eating you out like a starved man <3)

taglist: @jeonghanpill , @bangantokchy , @caratboy , @bewoyewo , @luvseungcheol , @wonvsmile , @haolovre , @aaniag , @writingbarnes , @dokyeomkyeom , @allieyaaa

[signanothername]

Saw your animatic of NIGHTMARE HAS FALLEN, peak comedy right there

also, your art of Killer squshing Nightmare's cheeks was awesome, but also prompted my brain to question "How would Killer interact with Passive?"

On one hand, small child, like Chara, but wow this is really cute and innocent, why the fuck is it considered evil? On the other hand, if he knew it was Nightmare...actually, idk, Killer is pretty smart, so I'm not entirely sure how it would play out

Hahaha thank you!!

Ooooh i love this question

Ok so I feel like it depends on what circumstances they meet, but let’s go with “Killer never saw Passive before and it’s the very first time they meet”

I don’t think the fact Passive being a child would deter Killer at all, cause Passive differs greatly in temperament and character from Chara, I feel like Passive might actually reminds him of Frisk actually (and that on its own opens a whole pack of problems)

But the thing is, just as you said, Killer’s smart, I believe he’ll figure out it’s Nightmare pretty quickly, considering how observant Killer is and how Nightmare’s appearance gives it away

I mean, a child that is basically a copy paste of Dream only has the opposite colors, has a golden crown of his own with a crescent on it?? And is glued to his lil book? Yeah that’s definitely Nightmare, hell his lil belt has “NM” on it, like Killer would have to be an absolute idiot to not figure it out, with one look Killer would immediately know it’s Nightmare, it wouldn’t take any time at all

Now to talk about how they’d interact

Let’s imagine they’re in Dreamtale before it got destroyed

Important thing to think about first and foremost, is whether Dream would be present with Nightmare when they meet or not

For the sake of this ask we’re going to assume Dream has gone to visit the village, so it’s only Nightmare sitting with the tree by himself

I feel like it’s important to keep in mind that this isn’t a one way interaction, it’s not just Killer’s reaction to Nightmare, it’s also Nightmare’s reaction to Killer

Nightmare already has a bad experience with strangers, and Killer isn’t the most friendly looking, so i feel like their interaction is gonna go a bit poorly actually, cause Nightmare would assume this stranger is either A-here to hurt him, or B- here for the golden apples he’s guarding, both not good things

Killer on the other hand would honestly just be curious about Nightmare at first, cause it’s not every day you get to see the king of negativity and darkness, one of the most powerful beings, as a mere helpless and defenseless child, it’d definitely make Killer wonder how the hell was this tiny little creature entrusted to guard something that keeps emotional balance in the Multiverse (not that it truly matters to him, not when he can’t feel anything himself right?)

So Nightmare would be extremely wary and even a bit frightened of Killer while Killer would just stare through Nightmare for a few minutes, but here comes the interesting question…

At what timeline does their meeting occur?? Is it in which Killer is still under Nightmare’s command, or is it after Killer was saved by Color, cause depending on it i feel like Killer’s reaction can differ

If Killer was still under Nightmare, is he in a trigger happy mood or is he feeling chill enough to just not feel like killing anyone, would Killer take this as an opportunity to hurt Nightmare back, or would he not attack him at all? I feel like the latter’s more plausible, cause Killer is usually chill actually until triggered, pushed, or commanded to, plus if it’s Nightmare then he’s not very interested to attack him…. physically at least (tormenting the child mentally seems a bit fun, but he’d file that in his brain for later)

I can see Killer actually taking interest in the apples, I mean they’re literally the twins’ souls… in the future at least, and Nightmare would definitely be wary but REALLY surprised to know Killer isn’t just interested in the golden apples, but his own black apples too, cause no one ever liked his black apples, everyone thought they were evil so why would this stranger not think the same?

I feel like Nightmare while still extremely wary wouldn’t be able to stop the child wonder in his heart and warm feeling blossoming in his little chest at the idea someone actually being ok with the black apples, i can see him take one of his black apples to killer to offer him, i mean no one ever wants to be near his black apples so maybe he finally met a monster who would accept him and his apples?

And Killer is interested yes, but not for the reasons little Nightmare’s thinking about

So you’d better believe Killer would accept the offer, he actually gets to take a closer look at what’s supposed to be Nightmare’s soul in the future? Oh how fun tormenting future Nightmare and Dream would be when he understands how they work

I feel like the apple’s aura wouldn’t have much effect on him except for maybe his soul wavering a bit as it responds to the negativity it’s always been subjected to, a familiar conditioning if you will, and Nightmare would get curious enough to ask about why Killer seems unaffected, only for Killer to tell Nightmare that he can’t really feel anything, and Nightmare just not comprehending that fact, he’d insist that everyone has feelings, and that the balance of those positive and negative emotions is what the tree is for, Killer can’t just not feel anything, that everyone is affected by the apples’ aura, only for Killer to tell Nightmare that he’s a “special case” and would take a lot more than just aura to make him feel anything (cough like tentacles of pure agonizing negativity and the power of 999 black apples taking ahold of the very culmination of his being cough, i can imagine Killer smiling a creepy knowing smile as he looks at Nightmare, little Night doesn’t know what that look means, but he doesn’t like it, he feels like he’s missing so much context)

I can see Killer simply asking question after question about the apples to understand how they work, especially the black apples, and little Nightmare answering only some of them, because a child or not, Nightmare’s smart, he’s not to give info that could give this stranger an opportunity to do as he pleases to the apples, Killer absolutely notices Nightmare’s wariness and his very careful attitude, and Killer thinks Nightmare’s smart for it

Then again that’s the child that’s going to grow to become a tyrant so it’s to be expected that he’d be clever (it’s interesting to see how Nightmare used to be at least)

Killer would definitely try to find a way out after he’s gotten the info he needs (or as much as little Nightmare was willing to provide) and he holds no illusion that threatening little Nightmare would get him to talk, cause if he knows Nightmare well enough it’ll only do the opposite and little Nightmare will not provide anything more, and so it’s time to go cause he holds no deluded attachment to this place or little Nightmare

And I can see Nightmare actually asking Killer what his name is, after all they’ve been talking but they haven’t introduced themselves, that Nightmare has never seen him around here before, and I can see this to be the moment Killer takes the opportunity to be a bit of a bitch and say some bullshit about he’s actually from a different time and how his name indicates his job only to introduce himself as “Killer” and to immediately go “and you’re Nightmare, the king of negativity, tyrant lord of darkness and nightmares” (Killer’s ironically a lot like Corrupted Nightmare in finding joy in the mental anguish of people more so than physical anguish)

Nightmare doesn’t know what “Killer” is talking about, but it sends a shiver down his spine and he’s going to lie if he said he wasn’t terrified not only of the thought of a murderer from a different time knowing who he is, but of the implication of Killer’s comment about his possible future :)

[erabu-san]

halooo erabuuuu:DDD i was wondering what headcanons you have abt sethos and scara (platonic or romantic! im just so happy they're interacting heusheujauw) and i saw the other asks abt them as well and theyre all adorable<333

With the time, yeah, I ship them but... It is a bit complicated ?? I still stuck with one-sided from Sethos, and he already knows it ! But Wanderer doesn't show uncomfortable reaction, and seems like he doesn't care, so Sethos openly continue complimenting him.

Most of the time, when Wanderer don't ignore and they have a conversation, it is deep conversation abt history, their opinion about what wisdom is, they debate etc etc... They know they both have a secret (one is leader of Temple of Silence and the other is more than a simple student) and it kind of make them feel closer in some way, even if they are both different !

Sethos is SO. SO. SOOO. Interested on Wanderer in all kind of way. His origin ? His backstory ? His role in Akademiya ?? His curiosity kind of grow in him, becoming a complexing feeling finding how Wanderer is so fascinating. And the fact Wanderer is canonly have a pretty face doesn't help Sethos hahahaha !

For Wanderer, he is also kind of interested on Sethos ; he is clearly not like everyone he met. I believe he already knows he is from Temple of Silence since he works under Nahida and Sethos met Nahida (in sethosbackto) ! But... a mature and capable leader of old knowledge, who just living as a simple human who likes doing service and like running everywhere, indeed it is not something you can see everyday.

The thing is, I think Wanderer doesn't feel legitimate to have friends, nor living a peaceful life (it shows that he doesn't dislike having interaction with student in Akademiya, he just prefers to be alone maybe because of his "redemption")

So when Sethos clearly shows his interest he has toward him (not in romantic way at first), it makes him so confused on HOW persistent Sethos was. With the time, he just accepted it and even start the conversation when there is only the two of them ! (oh this part of Sethos's backstory 1 still rent in my heart) (calling Sethos a busy BEE and smiling, Wanderer plz.)

Oh, and Wanderer would call Sethos "weird" to like him !

"...You are so weird to like someone like me"

"Yes, maybe I am !"

"Hmph, you will regret it."

"I am the only one who can tell how I do feel"

And because Sethos is honest but not in guileless way, and also smart, kind of makes Wanderer comfortable. But, he can't help to fear rejection, abandonment, and keep feeling guilty, so... he keeps rejecting Sethos (what a bad idea because it doesn't stop him !! I am sure Sethos is also extremely patient to not push Wanderer. Like when Wanderer is leaving, he lets him leaves.)

I HC that one day, Sethos asked "if you want me to stop, look at my eyes, and tell me firmly" and Wanderer hesistated. It is so complex, because yes, he would like him to stop so why suddenly he just can't ? Deeply in him, all this compliments makes him happy, Sethos keeping searching him intrigued him but he finds comfort in Sethos's act (HMMMM borderline disorder personnality Wanderer) (it is so complex, I clearly don't master this topic, I know only the base)

(but it explains his constant fear and his constant rejection of affection)

But Sethos gets it. He understands that some feeling is hard to explain, and with the time, he gets how Wanderer act. He is always harsh and tell his mind, if there is something he dislikes, he would make it clear and badmouth it. so huh in the end sethos didnt stop dfsdgzrg

Anyway !!! there is this one brainrot I like, and this is Wanderer liking hearing Sethos's heartbeat. It happened when they were suddenly close (don't ask the context because i have no idea, just imagine) and Wanderer heard Setho's heartbeat

"How it can be so loud?"

"It is because of you haha"

And, those words activate something in Wanderer. He never had the thought that he could make a heart beating loudly and fast. I mean, the phase of him being obsessed having a heart is over but... wow ?

And I just imaging Wanderer wishing to listen more and more closely. (HUH I DRAW A SKETCH TO ILLUSTRATE MY THOUGHT !!)

And idk maybe listening Sethos's heartbeat relaxed Wanderer, thinking about "this sound is for me"

sethos have wanderer's hat because i just imagine "if you are interested in my hat, let me hear your heart" and that's the deal bazhebahzeaz

Oh !! WANDERER WOULD TEASE HIM, seeing Sethos all flustered.

"Where does your gut leave ? Hmph, it is satisfying to remove your stupid smile" while smirking and it just made Sethos more gay panicking I guess !!

And that's all for sethoscara talk. I hope the answer was in your liking, anon ! Thank you for letting me talk about them