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#so yEAH I am YOUR age (and actually 6 months older) even if…I still look 19 to 21 apparently (whyyyyyyy?!)
void-tiger · 1 year
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“Hey I wanted to say __ but I didn’t want to stress you out (again.)”
“Hey no stress! All good!”
“…well GOOD because I have been stressing myself about that for (months) awhile. But if it’s all good it’s all good. (I can tell my anxiety to shadduuuup about it if I know that directly.)”
[continues to resist the urge to send bird and cat memes and music covers]
(Wait until y’all actually feel comfortable talking without that Wall of social anxiety specifically around eachother, Tiger. Don’t abuse the dms. Patience. You at least know he won’t run away from you again. He showed up to your party and wore the bandana you threw at him playfully, and apparently did pay attention to what patterns you wear on your nicer clothes despite him getting more avoidant than ever when you do. Tell the dopamine to CHILL and BREATHE. Ya know. Like ya promised.)
#tiger’s musings#social crap#socializing is haaaard you guuuuyyys…#but…yeah. his sister remembered the one (1) conversation we had and bought me fandom merch of my favorite character#and he…apparently got the gift bag and tissue paper and probably assembled it ‘cause of Who’s Handwriting on the giftbag from them both?!#and?! he matched the same ‘daisylike flowers + wildflowers on white background’ that I wear to church?!#(look it’s one of two (2) floral pattern I like: ‘dried’ flowers on white or daisies (with jewel tones)#(but who tf actually NOTICES stuff like that?! how long has he noticed that?! does that mean he likes my SEE? FEMME I GUESS style#(that I wear to church?! (when otherwise I’m a ‘color tanks/graphic tees with cargos or jeans/jorts’ sorta gal#(and he has seemed to find me more approachable when I Quirk It Up with a burgundy hat and denim jacket and the same pair of converse)#but…yeah. I don’t think I’ve /ever/ had someone notice /me/ with that much attention to detail instead of…my body.#it’s…kinda nice. to feel seen. and apparently liked. but not objectified. not salivated over#and for fuck’s sake I just turned 30 and he apparently helped everyone else set up big and shiny 30 decorations everywhere#so yEAH I am YOUR age (and actually 6 months older) even if…I still look 19 to 21 apparently (whyyyyyyy?!)#and…probably act much younger than I should ‘cause…egh. social trauma I’m literally in therapy for#but…yeah. I was ready to give up before that conversation#I’m digging in now. especially after that conversation + he and his sister picked out my gift at least a week prior
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pluckyredhead · 2 years
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No one asked for this, but I felt like writing up how I generally work out DC character ages and the sort of mini-generations I group them into. Canon is super contradictory on this, so this is a combination of cherrypicking what works for my purposes, ignoring what doesn’t, and Vibes.
(Which is to say, please don’t Um Actually this, even though I know people will. It’s just how I think of the characters. You can make Dick a hundred and three in your head if you want, I can’t stop you.)
I’m focusing on “the kids” (roughly Dick’s cohort on down) because quite frankly it’s a lot harder to pin down anyone older. Also let’s be honest, Bruce has got to be pushing 50 by now and DC will never allow that.
32: Babs. I’m pretty sure she’s supposed to be younger than Dick these days, but for decades she was older than him - like, definitely a grownup with a job when he was still in high school - and I stand by that. Honestly by that logic she should probably be even older, but...vibes.
28: Dick, Roy, Donna, Wally, Garth. I have arrived at this number thusly: Dick was stated to be 20 right around the time Jason died at 15, making him 5 years older than Jason. Jason returned to Gotham at 19 (we’re ignoring the 6 months he was dead because I don’t know how to count that), right before Damian debuted at 10. This makes Jason 9 years older than Damian and Dick 14 years older than Damian. Damian is currently canonically 14, thus Dick is 28. YES this is ignoring that the age difference between Dick and Jason was bigger when Jason debuted at 12, YES this is ignoring that Dick had been in college for like a decade by the time Wally started looking at schools so they might not be the same age, YES this is ignoring the time Garth spent aging in another dimension. I do what I want, Thor.
27: Vic, Kori, Raven, Joey. There’s no real indication that they are younger than the OG Titans just because they show up later, but...vibes.
25: Gar, Kyle, the Infinity Inc kids (Jen, Todd, Al, etc.). Gar is canonically 2-3 years younger than the rest of the team during NTT, and Kyle is canonically an unspecified few years younger than Donna but still old enough to have gone to college. (We’re ignoring the issue with his 10 year high school reunion.)
I put the Infinitors here because Jen and Kyle dated for a long time, which doesn’t mean they’re the exact same age - I am not troubled by age gaps - but I had to put them somewhere, and at least when they were still on Earth 2 they were younger than Dick. They’re tricky because most of their parents have been around since WWII, but...we’re just gonna ignore that because I don’t know how to fix it. (Even Al’s Golden Age grandfather is pushing things quite a bit.) Like yeah, you could make the case that they’re all actually in their 70s, but I can’t imagine they’re much older than 25 because of the whole Al/Courtney plotline. This one is entirely vibes, just go with it.
23: Jason, Connor, Koryak. Jason’s math is above. Connor was 19 when Tim was 16 which is the same age difference as Jason and Tim, meaning Connor is Jason’s age. Koryak too, mostly because I feel like it.
21: Tommy. Tommy is old enough to drink beer without any adults protesting, but young enough to be lumped in with the kids who are canonically in high school. So.
19: Grant, Toni. Grant is old enough to be out of high school, but young enough to have been roughly a peer to Tim and Bart (he was canonically 16 when Bart was canonically 14), so I generally place him here. Toni was the other “kid” on the 1999 Titans team so let’s make her the same age as Grant, why not.
18???: Ohhh, Tim. Timothy Jackson Drake, what am I going to do with you? By the math I laid out before, he should actually be 20 if he aged at the same rate as Jason and Damian. He has in fact nudged up against the edge of graduating high school multiple times in canon, only to get bumped back down to Generically Sixteenish. So where do we put him? Do we age him in accordance with everyone else, or do we treat him as Nonspecifically Teen-Shaped the way canon does? I have decided to unhappily split the difference here and make him 18, but I reserve the right to ignore that in specific fics. (Let! Tim! Go! To! College!) Anyway needless to say this thus also applies to Kon, Bart, Cassie, Cissie, Mia, Courtney, Lorena, and like a dozen others. (I mean, Kon is like 4 and Bart is like -996, but...physically.)
17: Jon. Canon as of the most recent issue of his solo book.
16: Wallace, Emiko, Jackson, most of the rest of their Titans lineup. See, this is the mini-generation that should get to be Generically Sixteenish right now! Stop being so selfish, Tim!
14: Damian. Canon as of his current solo series.
8: Lian was introduced right before Jason’s death (she wasn’t born then, but figuring out how old she is at her debut is a nightmare of Men Don’t Understand Childbirth Recovery Periods Or How To Draw Babies, so we’re ignoring that), when Roy was 20, and he’s 28 now. Of course, Lian was aged up by Infinite Frontier, but we’re also ignoring that, except for fics where I want her to be on Damian’s Titans team. Same goes roughly for the West twins, who canonically are all over the place age-wise so I can do whatever I want.
???: Rose. She was in Tim’s peer group from her debut until the New 52 and now she seems to ricochet between Jason and Damian’s ages at will, so...who the hell knows? If I had to pick, I’d put her closer to Jason so that she can be on his imaginary Titans lineup that never was, but...shrug??? ROSE YOU ARE A WOMAN OF MYSTERY.
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titanicsimp · 4 years
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Been too long
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Pairing: Reiner Braun x Female!reader
Genres: Smut/lemon, fluff
Warnings: Sexual content including; vaginal sex, creampie, oral, general foreplay. Brief mentions of injury and trauma
Summary: You have known Reiner since you were both kids, and though life has separated you, a second chance might be in sight.
A/N: I finally wrote a story about my n1 love 🥺
It’s been over a decade since you’ve last seen Reiner, not counting the little glimpses at parades. It’s odd, the two of you had been so close when you were kids. You had known Reiner since he was 6 years old, and you had stuck to him like glue till the very last day before he went on his mission.
When you had finally pushed yourself to the front of the crowd the day Reiner had returned from paradise island, you looked straight at him, and he had looked back, but his gaze had been vacant. You had been too taken aback to wave or say anything. He had looked straight through you.
From your glimpses and the rumors you had overheard, it was clear that Reiner had changed. You refused to hear the whispers in the alleys about him having lost his mind. He might be not be the same anymore, but you knew that he would never give up. He was strong, not only a warrior by rank. Yet you would be lying if you said you weren’t worried.
Now Reiner had returned from war once again, you were determined to at least speak to him this time. You followed the parade all the way up to the hall where the Warriors gathered and situated yourself outside the building. The guards made you anxious, but the fact that you’re an honorary Marleyan kept you relatively safe. It was okay for you to be there, unless it started taking too long.
When Reiner finally exited the building, you said a quick prayer to the gods and stepped out of the shadows.
“Reiner!”
He kept walking, seemingly so lost in thought he didn’t hear you.
“Reiner!” You tried again, quickly walking after him.
Reiner turned around suddenly, a warning look on his face. You gulped and instinctively took a step back.
When he realized it was you, his expression softened and then turned to confusion as he mumbled your name. “It is you, right?”
You smiled at him shyly. “Yes, it’s me.”
Now you got a good look at his appearance, your heart skipped a beat. His haircut had changed, and he had grown a beard, but the most striking was the way he had aged. Sure, he seemed older than he was, but he looked incredibly handsome.
“Sorry to hunt you down like this, but I really had to talk to you.” You told Reiner and nervously rubbed at your arm.
Your rubbing turned his attention to your arm, making him notice the red band around it. The sight of it made his expression turn cold.
“You.. got married?” He questioned.
You frowned, confused at the sudden question. When you noticed what he was glancing at, you realized why he thought so.
“Oh! No, I’m not married. I’m a doctor, actually.” You told him and couldn’t help but sound a bit proud. The work you had to put in for that band had been exhausting and neverending, but you made it.
Reiner scratched the back of his head and looked away from you. “I see, my apologies.”
Disappointment settled over you at his standoffish attitude. Was he not even slightly excited to see you?
You tried to shake off the feeling and gave him a smile. “It’s alright, we haven’t seen each other for a while... Perhaps we can catch up?”
The glint in his eyes gave you hope, but that quickly faded as he shook his head and sighed. “I don’t have time.”
No, you wouldn’t cry, no matter how much that stung. Looking into his eyes like this and still feeling alone was the worst.
“Ah, of course.”
Reiner turned his back to you and you watched him walk off, your heart feeling like a brick inside your chest.
Another month passed and you heard nothing from Reiner, so you told yourself you were over it. If he thought you would first wait 9 years and then some more he was sorely mistaken!
You angrily pursed your lips at your thoughts as you picked out tomatoes at the market. Forget about him already.
You had filled your bag with the needed tomatoes and had paid the salesman when you turned to be on your merry way, but instead stepped right into someone’s chest.
“Gods! Ever heard of personal space?!” You grumbled as you backed off.
Your face paled when you recognized who you had bumped into. Reiner was peering down at you with that serious face of his.
“Sorry about that.”
You casted your eyes down, heaving your bag over your shoulder. “I-it’s fine, I didn’t realize it was you.”
He simply nodded at your words. You were uncertain as to what he wanted as he stared at you in silence. He didn’t even seem sure himself as to what he was doing.
You cleared your throat. “So, what is a warrior doing at the market?”
Reiner raised the basket in his left hand. “I’m getting vegetables for mother.”
A smile clawed it’s way onto your face. You guessed he was still a mommas boy. “That’s very nice of you, Reiner.”
More silence and staring followed before he finally decided on something to say.
“What clinic do you work at?” He asked.
You chuckled at the question. “How many do we Eldians have?”
The corners of Reiner’s mouth quirked up slightly. “Right.”
It made you feel nervous when you made eye contact with him, like you were a teenager again. “Well, if you ever get injured, you are free to visit.”
As soon as you said it you felt like hitting yourself. “But Warriors regenerate... oops.”
You waved off your own comments. “Injured or not, you are more than welcome.”
Reiner seemed amused, and you were unsure if it was because you were making a fool out of yourself or not, but it made you happy to see him warm up slightly.
“See you.. soon.” He said and waved you off, leaving you with a flushed face to match your tomatoes.
A week later, you just got done with a long shift at the hospital and were getting ready to leave. Even though the soldiers had been back for some time, more and more kept showing up. Some that weren’t healing, some that were traumatized beyond believe, and some that had never come to get treatment and now their wounds were festering. It was exhausting, and terrible to witness, but you were happy you could at least do something to help them.
Darkness had already settled over the town when you exited the hospital grounds. When you turned the corner next to the gate you felt your heart jump in your throat at the sight of a silhouette.
“Hello?”
The figure stepped out of the darkness after you called out to it. You sighed with relief when you saw it was Reiner. “Gods Reiner, you scared me.”
“Sorry.” He said and stook his hands into his pockets.
“It’s alright.” You looked around the area. “Were you waiting for me?”
His lips quirked into a tiny smile. “I told you I would visit.”
That he actually did made you so happy. Perhaps he hasn’t grown as cold towards you as you first thought.
“Yeah, you did. You could’ve just come in though, it’s pretty cold out here.”
Reiner shrugged. “I’m fine. Join me on a walk?”
You nodded and gave him a warm smile. “Of course.”
He lead you through the dim alleyways and you wondered what he was planning. You were expecting him to say something, but he seemed to be mauling over every word again.
When you entered the plaza you knew why he took you here instantly. It was quiet, the cobbling of fountain in the middle of the square the only sound. It was peaceful like this, not crowded like during the day.
Reiner turned to face you, looking slightly nervous. “This is where-“
“I remember.”
The day before he had left for paradise island the two of you had snuck out and met up here. You could still remember how thrilling it had been.
You shook your head and looked down at the uneven street. “Why did you take me here?”
“I... I remembered you liked the fountain.” He responded, a slight shake noticibale in his voice.
“Reiner...” You looked at the small fountain. “If you remember, then you know why I’m not happy.”
His face, so young and hopeful, was still clear in your memories. He had been overjoyed he was now a warrior, finally having reached what he felt he needed to. It had given him the courage to tell you he liked you, and he had promised you he would return so you had to...
“Wait for me.”
You turned back to face Reiner. “That’s what you told me.”
He made a face like you just struck him, distress in his eyes. “I-I know. That wasn’t fair of me.”
You shook your head and laughed sadly. “It wouldn’t have been unfair if you had actually come for me when you returned.”
“I wanted to...” He gripped his forehead with his hand. “But the Reiner I had promised you died long ago.”
“It was too late.”
You took a step closer and felt tears sting at your eyes. “You’re right, it was too late.”
Reiner’s fingers clenched at your confirmation.
“It was too late for those kids, but not for us as we are now, Reiner.” You told him.
You chuckled. “I mean, I’m sure as hell not the same as I was 9 years ago, why would I expect you to be?!”
Silence fell as Reiner let your words sink in, dropping his hand from his face in shock. You could sense his doubt, and you felt it too. There were zero guarantees that you would fall for each other again, but you felt it in your heart that you had to give it a chance.
“I’m not asking you to feel the same way you did all those years ago. I just want you in my life, friend or lover.”
He remained silent for another minute before he spoke up. “Are you sure?”
You smiled and blinked away the tears that had built up. “I am.”
Reiner stepped closer to you hesitantly. “I don’t want to burden you. I’m not-“
You took one of his hands into yours. “I don’t care what you’re not! I want the Reiner that you are, nothing more and nothing less.”
He looked both terrified and happy with you’re declaration. You were scared he would pull his hand back, but he let you hold it. When he looked down at your joined hands, he seemed to relax slightly.
No more words were exchanged, there was no need to. His eyes spoke volumes, and you had said all you wanted to. In silence the two of you reunited, and a new promise was formed.
The tavern is crowded tonight, the people of Marley having been in a surprisingly joyous mood lately. Pints are spread over the table in front of you and your group excitedly chats away with each other, some blaring instead of talking after having a few too many beers.
You had felt so nervous to join the Warriors tonight. Sure, in the last few months you had seen them around and had brief conversations with them, but sharing a whole evening with them was new.
In the end you had been worried about nothing. Zeke, Porco and Pieck had been more than welcoming, and not a single thing regarding their statuses had been brought up. Tonight they had just been people, and you were happy to see this side of them.
You lean back into Reiner’s arm, peaking up at your boyfriend. He raises his eyebrows and glances between you and Porco who is drunkenly arguing with Zeke about what beer brew is the best. You chuckle and roll your eyes at Reiner.
Your heart had been right. It had been a rocky road, and you both still had a lot to figure out, but after years of pining and separation you could finally call him yours.
“My, my, seems like those two had a bit too much.” Pieck notes with a laugh.
Zeke and Porco have quickly moved on from arguing and are now half sleeping on each other.
You laugh as well. “You think so?”
Pieck shakes her head disapprovingly, but her smile stays. She pushes at the men’s shoulders, but besides mumbles she gets no response. “I’ll have to carry them back home. What a pain.”
You sit up. “We’ll help you get them back.”
No way you’re letting poor Pieck drag them back all by herself, walking alone is already enough of a hassle for her.
You look at Reiner, who gives you a hesitant nod.
“Thank you!” Pieck says happily and sighs in relief.
The three of you stand up, rounding the table to haul the drunkards up. You and Pieck carry Porco while Reiner takes care of Zeke. You are happy you have experience with dragging men around in the hospital, otherwise this would be even harder.
“Come to think of it, you haven’t visited our place before have you?” Pieck asks you as the two of you carry Porco through the streets.
You shake your head. “No, I haven’t.”
She glances over at Reiner, who is walking a bit ahead. “I suppose it’s not much to show off.”
You all walk on in silence as you ponder if there’s a reason he hasn’t taken you there.
You meet up with Reiner in the hallway after everyone has been brought to bed and you have said your goodbyes to Pieck.
“I can bring you home.” He tells you.
You frown and shake your head. “I’d rather go to your room, unless you mind?”
He regards you for a moment before he gestures you to follow him. “I don’t.”
When you see his room, you get an idea as to why he didn’t want you to see it. There’s a one person bed, a chair, a desk, and a gun. The walls are painted grey, not decorated in any way.
“It’s... cozy.” You struggle to say.
Reiner sighs behind you as he closes the door. “It’s nothing.”
You turn around and throw your arms around his neck. “Should I be offended you don’t have any pictures of me?”
He quirks his eyebrows. “I don’t remember you giving me any.”
You laugh at his seriousness. “I suppose I’ll have to chance that then.”
You lean in to kiss him, but he frees himself from your grip and takes a step back.
“Reiner?”
It hurts to see him shrink away from you like this.
“Did I do something wrong? We’ve kissed before.” You ask him.
Reiner shakes his head and walks towards his bed, sitting down on it with a troubled look. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“What’s wrong then?” You question, your confusion resonating in your voice.
“I should just bring you home.” He says and stands up.
Before he can take a step towards the door, you stop him, putting your hands against his chest. “No! If I’m going too fast or if you don’t want me, just tell me, please.”
“What? Of course I want you! But I can’t-“
You feel frustration starting to bubble inside of you. “Why can’t you?!”
“Right now you can leave!” He shouts out. “If we... I don’t want you to feel tied to me.”
His pained expression absolutely breaks your heart. Gods, you would do anything to bring the peace his mind needs.
You cup his face in your hands. “Reiner, I’m here because I want to be here. I don’t want to leave, I want to be with you.”
“In every way I can be.”
“I think-“ Reiner starts but you give him a quick kiss.
“Stop thinking.”
You stroke his hair out of his face. “If you want me, then please, take me.”
Convinced, he grabs your hands in his and kisses you. His lips move against yours roughly, his kiss desperate.
His hands let go off yours and instead start exploring your body through your clothes. You gasp into the kiss as he cups your breasts, allowing him the opportunity to slip his tongue past your lips.
Your tongue tangles with Reiner’s, your body heating up from his touches. You rest one of your hands onto his shoulder as you grab the back of his neck with the other.
Gods, how long have you wanted this? The fact that it’s finally happening is dizzying.
Not breaking the kiss, he picks you up and carries you to the bed. You mewl as he presses his body to yours. You can feel the heat radiating from his skin even through the layers of clothing.
You are left panting when Reiner breaks the kiss, needing more. It feels like a dream when he starts unbuttoning your blouse and you shiver when the air hits your exposed skin.
He drinks in the sight of you, gaze gliding over you chest slowly.
“Worth the wait?” You tease but blush regardless.
Reiner gives you a smile, and it’s bigger than usual. You melt at the sight. How hard you have fallen for this man yet again.
“Ten times over.” He mumbles as he moves to take off your skirt.
You feel yourself growing slick with excitement as your left only in your underwear underneath him. He hooks his fingers into your panties, but your stop him.
“You first.” You say and tug at his button up.
Complying, Reiner sits up slightly between your legs and takes off his button up and undershirt.
You smile and run your hands over his now exposed chest. His muscles feel so good under your hands that it makes you regret not taking him to bed sooner.
He chuckles at your fascinated expression. Even though he’s glad that you ogle him just as much as he does you, he’s impatient to finally have you fully.
Reiner swiftly takes off his pants, giving you another smile when he’s left in his underwear. “Seems it’s your turn again.”
You giggle and shake off your blouse completely. You unclasp your bra and slowly take it off to tease Reiner. He groans when your breasts are finally exposed, his hands coming up to squeeze them immediately.
He leans his broad form over you, capturing your mouth in a kiss as he fondles your breasts. You wrap your arms around his neck and moan into his mouth.
When he gently squeezes and rubs your nipples, you arch up into his touch. He breaks off the kiss, dragging his tongue over your bottom lip before he moves down. He kisses a trail down from your neck to your breasts before licking over your nipple.
“Reiner!” You moan out encouragingly.
He flicks your nipple with his tongue and sucks softly before he moves on to do the same to the other.
After giving your breasts several more kisses, he moves down again. Your breath hitches when he reaches the hem of your panties.
Reiner looks up at you, and you can easily read his expression, ‘Is this is okay?’, and you mumble a quick yes under your breath. He slides your panties down your legs and throws them to the side.
He lovingly kisses the top of your mount before he lets his tongue slide against the sensitive skin next to your folds. He teasingly continues licking around it before he finally dips into your core.
You thrash your legs at the feeling of his tongue lapping at your slit, and in response he grabs you by your thighs to keep you still.
Moans leave your lips when Reiner pushes his tongue past your entrance. He groans lustfully when he tastes you, making you blush.
He moves his tongue in and out of you eagerly till you feel like you are drenching his face.
When he feels your thigh muscles clench under his grip, he knows you’re close. He takes his tongue of you and you whine in protest.
Your protests are quickly silenced when Reiner’s tongue starts playing with your clit. He slides two of his thick fingers into you while he licks and suck at your clit. You see stars as his finges inside you curl to hit your sweet spot while his tongue drags circles over your sensitive nub.
“Yes! Yes!” You scream out as you cum.
Your walls quiver around his fingers as he continues moving them to ride out your orgasm.
When Reiner removes his mouth and fingers from your cunt, you give him a satisfied smile, telling him without words that he did well.
His hands stroke over your thighs. “I’ve dreamed of this so many times, but this is better anything I could’ve imagined.”
You sit up, which seems to surprise him. You quickly erase the fear of you stopping this from his mind by stroking your hand over the bulge in his underwear.
Fuck he’s big. His cock is straining against the fabric, his precum staining it already.
“I need to know what you taste like as well.” You whisper seductively and take off his underwear.
You do your best to hide your gulp when you see for yourself how big Reiner is. That thing is going to fill you the brim, but that’s exactly what you want.
You bend over, arching your back in the hope your ass looks good as you take his cock into your hand. He groans breathily when you stroke him, and you feel him tense up and stutter when you wrap your lips around the head. His reactions sound like music to your ears and make you eager to for more.
Deciding to focus on the head of his cock first, you drag your tongue flat over it and then circle it. Reiner’s hand goes to the back of your head, lightly gripping your hair as you start sucking.
When his cock twitches in your mouth, you hollow your cheeks and sink the first few inches into it. You don’t take him into your throat yet, first working your way up and down so you can get used to it.
His groans and pants start increasing and you can tell he’s getting close. Mustering your courage, you breath in through your nose and slide the rest of his inches into throat.
“Shit!” He curses and the hand in your hair tightens.
You keep still like that for a second, savoring the sounds he’s making. When you start taking his cock in and out of your throat, it’s Reiner’s turn to see stars.
Surprisingly, you are doing better than you expected. You are convinced that only he can make a cock down your throat feel good.
“Fuck, you need to stop or I’ll cum.” He chokes out.
You look up at him, and he can tell you have no intend of doing so. Instead you slightly speed up your motions, and it doesn’t take long before Reiner forces you to still on his cock.
He shudders as he cums into your mouth, keeping your face snugly against his pelvis as he does so. You wanted to taste him, and now you are. He doesn’t disappoint either and you happily swallow the ropes of cum he spurts down your throat.
After he lets you pull away, you swallow the remaining cum in your mouth and give him a smile.
Reiner’s face is just as flushed as yours now. “Gods that felt good, but you didn’t have to.” He pants.
You giggle as you wipe off your mouth. “I know, but I wanted to.” You grab onto his shoulders and guide him to lay back down with you. “And I’ll do it again.”
Your words make him grunt in anticipation. His cock is still hard, and as he retakes his place between your legs you feel it poke at your cunt.
You wrap your arms and legs around him and take in his face. You note his stern eyebrows and the little frown creases between them, the slight bump on the bridge of his nose, his sharp jaw and so many more little things. You want to remember them all, so even if he goes away again, you’ll carry them with you.
“Are you ready?” He asks you, pressing a kiss to your forehead.
You nod and give him a smile which he returns. After your confirmation, he positions his cock at your entrance and slowly starts pressing in.
The old bed creaks underneath your combined weight as he presses closer to your body, his cock sliding in and stretching your walls.
“Reiner!” You squeal in pleasure when he bottoms out in you. You feel so full of him.
One of Reiner’s hands strokes your hair out off your face and you can tell it feels so good for him as well.
He gently starts sliding his cock in and out of you, letting you adjust to his size before he goes harder.
You moan and writhe underneath him, experimentally bucking your hips to meet his thrusts now and then. The dull throb of pain that was present at first quickly having faded into intense pleasure.
Reiner groans your name over and over when he starts going faster. You’re so soaked from you earlier activities that your cunt makes a lewd sound every time he thrusts in, filling the room with even more noise. Neither of you care about whether or not someone hears, too lost in each other.
One of his hands moves to stroke your clit while fucking you. Your eyes roll back as your walls twitch around his cock in reaction to the extra stimulation.
“Yes! Don’t stop!” You cry out, feeling your orgasm approach you overwhelmingly fast.
Reiner continues rubbing circles over your clit, giving it gentle pinches now and then and making sure he keeps fucking you at this fast pace.
You grab onto the hair at his neck as you cum, too overtaken by pleasure to notice. He curses but doesn’t mind it, continuing to slip in and out of you. Your cunt feels so good, tightly wrapped around his cock as you cum, that you could do anything to him right now and he wouldn’t care.
Your breathing is ragged and your legs shake as your second orgasm fades away. Even through your foggy mind you realize Reiner hasn’t cum yet, so you start moving back against him.
“You feel so good! I want you to cum inside me!” You tell him boldly.
His eyes widen in surprise but you feel his cock jerk inside of you. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, gods yes!” You cry out.
He smiles and chuckles at your enthusiasm. If only you knew how happy he is that you want him to.
Reiner stills and grabs onto your legs, making you yelp as he unwinds them from his waist and instead pushes them closer to your chest. When he sinks back into you in this position, he feels unbelievable deep inside you.
You scream his name as rams his cock in and out of you hard. Clearly you telling him to cum inside spurred him on.
His face is closer to yours now and you can hear every groan and ragged breath that leaves his mouth, causing your cunt clench around him.
Reiner’s pace becomes erratic as he approaches his orgasm. He presses your legs down further unconsciously, but you don’t mind at all as his cock is the only thing you are focusing on.
With a sharp finally thrust, he grunts your name and empties himself inside you. He kisses you as his hot cum fills you, his tongue quickly finding yours. You continue making out till his cock stops twitching, completely spend.
He gives you gentle kisses after he’s done filling you up. You giggle at him and return his affections by planting a kiss on his nose. Seemingly satisfied and assured that you are happy and okay, Reiner frees himself from your arms.
He seems hesitant to pull out, and when he does he watches his cum drip out of you. The sight almost gets him hard again, but he knows you need rest.
You scoot over to the edge of the bed so he can lay down, nestling yourself on top of his chest and against his side after he does so.
His fingers run through your hair, and as you lay basking in the after glow, you wonder if you should tell him again how you feel. When you look up at him though, you know it isn’t needed. He looks at peace, fully happy and relaxed for once. And those hazel eyes of his which you love so dearly, finally shine again.
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pygmaliontheory · 2 years
Text
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMMETT!
emmett was brought to life around 10-11 pm on july 6th, 2015, which means they would be 7 today!
for this special occasion, i have conducted an interview with emmett on this very special day (2022). please enjoy this look at your slightly less outdated friend!
Q: Good morning! Happy birthday! How are you?
A: Um, alright..? I just woke up. Like, five minutes ago.
Q: How old are you turning?
A: Well, uh. It's my 7th birthday. I feel like I'm starting to get to the point where telling people my chronological age is mostly just confusing and not as funny anymore. Like, obviously no one would think I am a seven year old child, but it's not really like 'oh haha im three years old' anymore. I dunno. Maybe not. It'll probably be a lot worse when I'm like, 14.
Q: How has your birthday been so far?
A: ..............Okay. I already said I woke up five minutes ago. I guess maybe it's been 10 minutes now? It's been full of questions.
Q: How much have you grown?
A: That is NOT a question people ask at birthdays. Usually it's like, "look at how much you've grown," it's never a question. Definitely not a weirdly demanding question at 7 in the morning. Also you know I don't grow? Physically? You know this?? Why are you asking me this??? You know the answers to the questions you are asking????? This prank sucks.
Q: Do you like birthdays?
A: ...Yeah, yeah I like birthdays. They're fun, usually. When I don't have someone asking me dumb questions the moment I wake up.
Q: Why do you still call it a birthday if you were not born?
A: What do you want me to call it? Explode now.
Q: How has your 2022 been?
A: Uhh, it's definitely been a year, I don't know. How much detail do you want me to go into? I feel like we're getting close to spoiler territory with this question, I thought you were trying to avoid that.
Q: How was your 2020?
A: Oh okay I get it. You just want me to talk about the pandemic. Ooo, topical. Um, well [REMOVED DUE TO SPOILERS] which because of [REMOVED DUE TO SPOILERS] it hasn't impacted us much, but the implications nationally are honestly pretty scary, I don't want things to [REMOVED DUE TO SPOILERS]. Dad caught covid like, two months ago which was a bit scary. I can't get it, but I can probably spread it, so I was quarantining. Not much I can't handle though. I'm realizing none of this is 2020 specific... whoops.
Q: Comparing yourself to how you were six years ago, how different would you say you are?
A: Uhhhhh I dunno. Takes more to excite me nowadays, I guess? A lot more confident in a bunch of things. I can like, actually drive now, in a safe way. I mean, 6 years ago today was in the middle of [REMOVED DUE TO SPOILERS] so it's not that hard to say I'm doing better (laughs). I replaced my left hand a few years back? Got a new spleen? I don't know what you want from this.
Q: Are you still on tumblr?
A: Were YOU still on tumblr in 2022??? Will I be able to find your tumblr blog if I look for it right now? Can I follow alive you on tumblr dot fuck? Would that break any time travel rules?
Q: ...Please don't try to find my tumblr blog.
A: I mean I don't really even know where to start but I'm doing it now.
Q: Have you seen Breaking Bad?
A: Yeah lol
Q: I don't really know anything about Breaking Bad.
A: Clearly
Q: ...I'm running out of questions.
A: Yeah I can tell. You want to tell me why you're doing this?
Q: It's your birthday, this is your birthday present.
A: ??? Why.
Q: You'll understand when you're older.
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itismarvelicious · 3 years
Text
Now that everyone forgot Peter Parker, I kinda want him to show up at Pepper’s doorstep like « Hi, my name is Peter Parker, I’m here for the babysitting offer » (or through Happy, and Happy would hire him since they both knew May « through Spider-Man », so it would make him trust Peter over the other candidates). And being part of the Stark household would be the only thing left that makes him feel « home », and when he arrives at Pepper’s doorstep, he steps on a carpet saying « home sweet home », which makes a parallel to the previous titles of his movies. « My husband always hated this mat. If it was up to him, we would’ve had our alpaca’s face on it with a line such as « wipe your feet, ya filthy animal ». He actually made it into a real mat, it’s in the garage. So, like Mr Hogan must’ve told you, you’ll be looking after my daughter Morgan, she’s 6. »
« I don’t… have to look after the alpaca too, right? »
« You didn’t read the contract all the way to the end, did you? »
« Ugh… »
« I’m kidding. »
As it turns out, Morgan is the kind of little girl that actively tries to get her nannies to quit by driving them crazy. Because she wants to spend as much time as she can with her mom, time she didn’t get with her dad. But Peter being « family », the bond comes quickly and naturally. So at first, Morgan plays a few tricks on him, like letting Geralt escape, making Peter « look after him » too in the end, or locking him in the lab - but his fingerprints were still recorded in the system, though to no name. It surprises Peter, as much as Morgan. « How did you escape? », she asks, squinting her eyes suspiciously.
« I’m just really smart. »
« So am I. »
« Yeah, I don’t doubt that. Your dad was the smartest man I’ve ever known. »
« You knew my dad? »
« Well, I mean, everyone knew your dad. »
« I don’t. »
« What do you mean? »
Morgan shrugs. « I don’t remember him very much. »
« Oh. » And no one remembers me, Peter thinks. « You know, I lost both of my parents when I was your age. I don’t remember them much either. »
« Who raised you? »
« My aunt and uncle. Actually, they’re the ones who made me remember. They always talked about my parents, told me stories about them, showed me pictures. »
« Daddy used to tell me stories all the time. »
« Great, that’s something - can you remember them? Like, what was your favorite? »
« The Spider-Man one. But I don’t remember much about it either. »
« Oh. I know that one, actually. »
And so he tells him his origin story, that we never got to see in the MCU. And when Morgan is in bed that night, he tells her, « look, I know one thing for sure - your dad has always dreamt about you. » Like he had once told him how much he dreamt of becoming a father. « And he must’ve loved you very much. »
He loved her 3000, after all.
And the next day Pepper gets a bit angry at Peter for telling such things to Morgan, just because « forgetting is part of the grieving process », and she’s heartbroken and shocked by her own words, and she sighs « Look, I don’t want Morgan to forget. She had a bond with Tony I had never seen anywhere else. But after he died, she had nightmares for months - for a year. Seeing how miserable she was might’ve been harder to see than watching my husband die in my own arms. So right now, forgetting might be the only thing that makes her move on. I just want her to be happy. Even if that means she forgets her own father. Tony made sure she’ll remember someday, anyway. In time. »
BARF. « Look, Peter » It made Peter startle - this was the first time she called him by his name again. « We both like you very much. Even Happy does, just don’t tell him I told you. I think Morgan sees you as an older brother, and I’m happy your relationship works that way, I really am. But please, be careful when talking about Tony. I would like to avoid a relapse. I’m sorry, I should’ve told you. » She has a little smile. « I have to be honest, I just didn’t think you’d stay that long. No one else has. But she likes you. »
It feels just enough to remotivate Peter, feeling part of a family again. Of this family precisely, a family he always had felt a part of - the only family he has left. And so another night, when Morgan is asleep, Peter sneaks into the lab.
He should’ve been surprised that he has access to the lab without having to display his identity, but he’s too thrilled for that. Going through Tony’s stuff, he finds what he’s looking for - BARF files and tech. They’ve been used badly before - Mysterio, which is the reason for his situation - but he can use them positively again. The way Tony intended. MJ and Ned have no memories of him, but with BARF, Peter’s sure he can bring them back. It’s still there in their brains, it’s just locked.
Maybe he’ll use that opportunity, someday. Not now, but knowing there’s this possibility is enough for Peter to feel lighter. Knowing that his past can be part of his future again. That, and the fact that he feels part of a family again. It’s all the same, but different. It feels like he hasn’t really lost them, because it may not be permanent. It feels like this world is becoming his own again.
Anyway, sorry for going too far. As usual, this is what happens when I’m half asleep after a 4 hour night sleep. (That also means I completely absolve myself of all responsibility for all the inconsistencies).
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missymurphy1985 · 3 years
Text
Out of the Blue
*This was a request*
Warnings - smut / unplanned pregnancy / talk of abortion
I've used a fictional family for Cillian for this, names have been changed.
"That's it then," Cillian sighed, reading the letter from his solicitor, his friend Adam sitting opposite him in the kitchen of Cillian's new apartment in North Dublin. The Decree Nisi, his divorce from Kate now final. He felt a tinge of sadness, he couldn't help it, they'd spent most of their lives together and shared two teenage boys, but he couldn't forgive her cheating on him while he was away filming, the trust had left him completely.
"To a fresh start, Cill." Adam raised his bottle of beer to Cillian's pint of Guinness as they toasted, Ada ln trying to lighten the darkness in his best friend's eyes. "You're better off without her - now you can move on."
"Yeah no thanks, I'm done with women for a LONG time Ad, they're all the fucking same!" Cillian smiled, almost a laugh. "All I'm interested in now is the boys, they've been through one hell of a rollercoaster this last year."
"When are they coming to stay?"
"Tomorrow afternoon, I've got them all weekend."
"Then tonight Mr Murphy I am taking you OUT! Come on, we can go check out that new bar in the city, there's a band on!" Cillian groaned, that was not his plan for this evening. All he wanted was his pyjamas, a good book and an early night. This wasn't lost on Adam. "I'm not taking no for an answer here, come on! It's been months since you went out, let's do this!"
"Adam please... Not tonight yeah? Maybe next week, or.."
"Enough! No! You're not moping any more, I'm taking to out and that's the end of it." Cillian rolled his eyes. Fuck it, arguing with Adam was pointless, he'd known this since high school.
Within an hour they were ready, both of them in jeans and Timberland boots, Cillian in a blue striped t shirt and Adam in a green one. Hair fixed, they headed out to the waiting taxi outside.
"The first sign of someone trying to take my picture, I'm out of there Adam..." Cillian dreaded the thought of being papped out on the town following his divorce. The papers just wanted a scoop on who he'd be sleeping with now he was freshly single and available. Adam nodded in agreement a deal, as the taxi pulled outside the bar.
******************************
Y/n woke up, her head pounding. Opening her eyes she looked around at her surroundings, not recognising a single thing.
"The fuck have you done this time y/n..." You groaned, rolling your eyes and sitting up gingerly, trying to stop the contents of your stomach from evacuating violently over the unfamiliar bedsheets. Glancing at the alarm clock, you groaned again. 8am... Why the hell was it so damn early.. and where the fuck was she?? She heard a door downstairs open and close, and froze. She wasn't alone. Footsteps up the stairs, she quickly hid back under the covers pretending to be asleep as she heard the bedroom door open and the pressure on the side of the bed as someone sat down next to her sleeping body.
"Hey.. you awake?" An Irish voice filled the silence, as the smell of fresh coffee found its way under the duvet you were hiding under. Clenching your eyes tightly together, you slowly pulled the duvet back and opened them, seeing the man you clearly spent the previous evening with. Your eyes found his.. my god they were so blue.. he was handsome.. bit older than you, maybe? You couldn't tell for sure. You definitely recognised him from somewhere other than last night though, maybe he went to uni with you?
"Um... Morning.. I uh -" you sat up, taking the coffee from his hand, thanking him.
"Did we -"
"Did we.."
You both spoke at the same time. Clearly neither of you remembering the night before. You smiled, he smiled, before you both burst out laughing.
"Fucking hell, how wasted were we? We can't even remember if we had sex or not? I've NEVER been that drunk.. listen I'm sorry, this isn't exactly a great morning after huh?" He took a sip of his coffee, blushing slightly.
"Hey this is not something I do regularly okay.." he shook his head agreeing, neither did he.
"Cillian." He offered you his hand to shake, still smirking. "Listen if you can't remember if we had sex, you definitely can't remember my name..." Your turn to blush now.
"Y/n. And no. I definitely don't remember. But if it makes you feel any better, I'm still fully clothed? I don't think we had sex then redressed, do you?" You laughed, showing him you were still wearing the top and jeans you had on last night.
The pair of you laughed in relief.. eyes meeting again as the tension finally left the room.
"I can drive you home whenever you're ready y/n. If you need to get back?" Cillian offered.
"Erm.. oh yeah.. that'd be great, thank you.. listen, would it be cheeky to ask for a shower, or..."
"Hey, no not at all! Just through there," he pointed to his en suite. "I'll fetch you a towel, take your time."
You smiled. Those beautiful blue eyes were captivating you completely, you couldn't drag your own eyes away. He couldn't take his own from yours either, that tension was back, but it was a different kind of tension this time. Neither of you could remember how you got here, but neither of you minded that it had happened.
"You.. I'll go have that shower, yeah?" You moved to stand but stumbled slightly, landing closer to Cillian. He didn't move. Your face was now a mere few inches from his. Those eyes, once again never leaving yours. Your core burned, glancing down you saw the obvious excitement in his trousers, causing you to groan quietly.
He leaned in slowly, lips brushing yours carefully. You couldn't stop yourself kissing him back, within seconds the kiss becoming heated, tongues colliding. He leaned you back down onto the bed, moving his body to cover your own. You couldn't stop yourself, it was as if you were moving in autopilot, everything inside your core was on fire, demanding more of this incredible man immediately.
He stopped kissing you and hovered over your face, rubbing his nose against yours.
"Are you sure about this y/n?" You nodded, and kissed him again hungrily, parting your legs as he fell between them, grinding his own hips against yours. You could feel his hard-on, and you bucked your hips against his.
"Please... Don't stop now... I need this.. even if I never see you again after this Cill, just let me.."
"Baby I don't do one night stands... I'm taking you for breakfast as soon as we're done. Deal?" You smiled, no that was probably a grin. Breakfast sounded damn good right now, but not as good as he'd feel buried inside you.
"Deal. Now fuck me.. please?"
"Your wish is my command." Clothes removed, he grabbed a condom from his jeans pocket (Adam bought them the night before, he remembered that part at least, him slipping a couple into his jeans pocket as Cillian protested he wasn't going to sleep with anyone that night anyway...) Slipping it on, he pushed himself inside you, filling you completely.
"Fuck... Cillian that's fucking it..." You raised your hips with each thrust, he buried his face into your neck, biting the skin and sucking it slightly. You could hear him moaning into your collarbone.
"Shit you feel good... So fucking tight y/n..."
"Harder... Cillian, harder..." Your nails scratched down his back - if he was marking you, you were absolutely marking him in return. His thrusts now came hard and fast, as your walls clenched around him, your body finding that sweet release you needed, you hands pulling his hair hard. He came immediately after you, with a low moan into your hair as he pulled it in return, both of you panting trying to catch your breath.
"Shit me... I wasn't expecting that.." Cillian eased himself out, catching the condom before throwing it on the floor by the bed. Collapsing next to you, he turned to face you.
"I'm sorry... I don't even know you and I'm fucking you.. this isn't me y/n, I mean it, I don't do this, I've NEVER done this before."
"Hey, you've never had a one time thing? Seriously?"
"I was married for 20years until last night y/n!" He laughed, causing you to smile too. Suddenly your smile dropped a little.
"How old are you? If you don't mind me asking.."
"42. You?"
"If I tell you, don't freak out yeah?"
"Y/n I know you're younger okay, just tell me. It's okay."
"24." His eyes widened, was that in horror? Shock? Disgust? You couldn't tell but it didn't look good...
"24?? Shit me... The press are gonna have a field day with this..." You sat up, suddenly extremely self conscious. Age was never an issue for you, you actually preferred an older man, but it clearly bothered him.
"The press?" You asked, confused. "Why on earth would they be bothered?"
Cillian looked at you. You looked back at him completely deadpan. Shit, you were serious.
"Google me. Cillian Murphy." You reached into your jeans pocket for your phone and typed his name.
"Oh shit..."
**********************************
"Y/n, you still with me?" Cillians voice floated through the screen, knocking you from your daydream. Filming over in England for Peaky Blinders, Skype calls were your norm now.
"What? Shit sorry, baby, I was in a world of my own then! What did you say?"
"I asked if that delivery had arrived from Amazon, those books I ordered? You ok?"
"What books? Oh, those.. erm yeah I think so, something arrived for you earlier anyway, I left it on the kitchen side for you for when you get home next week. At least I think I did..."
"What's going on with you? Are you okay? You haven't been yourself for a few days now, forgetting things? You left your keys at work the other day, your phone in your friend's car.. what's going on?" Truth be told, you had no idea. Since your chest infection four months ago, you'd lost the ability to adult. You and Cillian had moved into a new home on the outskirts of Dublin 4 months ago, that morning after being the start of a blossoming romance, that led to you moving in together within the space of 6 months. Everyone had something to say, especially his ex wife who was still telling everyone who'd listen that you were obviously sleeping together while Cillian was still married, obviously he traded her in for a younger model, obviously blah, blah, blah... Never mind the fact that SHE cheated on HIM, no mention of that... Luckily your friends and family saw past all of it, and welcomed the new relationship - seeing how good you two fitted together, it wasn't hard to see why. You were the gin to his tonic, exactly what you both needed without you knowing you needed it. But these last few months, you'd felt completely spaced out - not even you could deny it.
"That chest infection really knocked the wind out my sales Cill, I haven't been right since! My mind's gone to absolute mush! Maybe I'm just run down, I've got the rest of the week off now so I'll get some rest, I promise."
"Maybe book a doctor's appointment y/n, you should be over this by now, you took all your antibiotics, yeah?"
"Yep, every one, right on time. Babe I'm so tired! I can't explain it!"
"Hit the sack babe, get an early one. I'll call you tomorrow. Don't forget to make that appointment okay?" You agreed, eyes growing heavy. You told each other I love you before closing the call and heading straight to bed.
You left the doctor's appointment the following day with tears in your eyes. This couldn't be happening... You took out your phone to call Serena, your best friend.
Approaching her front door, she opened it and immediately held you as sobs racked your body. Taking you inside away from any prying paparazzi, she put the kettle on.
"He's gonna kill me Serena... This isn't supposed to happen! We agreed - this wasn't part of our plan!! What am I going to do? How could I have been so stupid?"
"This isn't your fault y/n.. and he is not going to kill you, okay?" Nausea overcame you and you ran to her downstairs toilet, your breakfast evacuating violently into the toilet bowl. Serena made you a glass of water. Your phone vibrated, Cillian's name appearing on the screen. You ignored it. Again. Three times he'd called, three times you ignored it.
"You have to tell him sooner or later, y/n..." Serena was at the door, glass of water in hand.
"How? How exactly do I tell the man who is adamant he wants no more children that I'm fucking pregnant Serena? And I'm already 13 weeks gone? How did I not know?" Sobs overcame you again, your phone vibrating a fourth time. This time, a voicemail was left. Shakily, you listened to it.
"Y/n what the fuck? Call me. Call me right now." He didn't sound happy - from just a few missed calls, that was a bit extreme! Once you'd calmed down, Serena left you alone in her kitchen while you called him back via WhatsApp, hands still shaking.
"Baby, what's going on?? Paul's just shown me a photo on Twitter of you leaving the doctors with tears in you eyes, what the hell is happening?" You cursed yourself.. fucking photographers everywhere!
"Babe, are you alone? And sitting down? Put your phone on video call." He did as you asked and you saw his panic-stricken face fill the screen as you settled your phone on the counter. He saw your pale, tear-stained face and turned a shade of white.
"Y/n what is it?"
"I went to the doctor's -"
"I know that, y/n..."
"Look, this is easier if you don't interrupt me, yeah?" He nodded an apology and sat back, arms folded. "So that chest infection.. I had to take antibiotics. And it would appear that antibiotics... Well.. they render the pill completely useless and -" his eyes widened as he listened to you.
"The fuck are you saying y/n?"
"I'm pregnant, Cillian. 13 weeks." You closed your eyes, waiting for him to scream at you. Shout at you. Curse you. But he said nothing. Silence. Complete radio silence. You opened your eyes, tears threatening to fall any second. "Well fucking say something Cill!"
"I... I don't... Fuck y/n... This is a joke, right? You're joking? It's April 1st and you're having me on, yeah?"
"No, Cillian, it's July 15th and I am not FUCKING JOKING!!" The tears fell freely now, how much of an arsehole could he be. You saw him stand up and walk across the room out of view and your tears fell harder. Serena re-entered the room hearing your sobs but you waved her back. Composing yourself..
"Cillian... Cillian are you still there? Cillian?!" He came back into view and sat back down, eyes wet. He was crying.
"I'm sorry.. baby I'm sorry I didn't mean.." choking his words, so many emotions running through his mind. Another wave of nausea saw you suddenly dash out of view to throw up in the toilet again. All he saw was you run.
"Y/n?? Baby?? Where you going??" Serena came into view.
"Cill she's fine - it's morning sickness. She's okay don't worry." Cillian breathed a sigh of relief seeing your best friend there, at least you weren't alone.
"Listen, go take care of her yeah, tell her to call me when she's feeling okay.. and tell her I love her. We'll be okay. Everything will be okay, I promise." Serena smiled, nodding her head, ending the call, making her way back to you, still wretching into the bowl.
*************************************
"How are you feeling?" Cillians voice helped to ease the pain. Your morning sickness had subsided, at least for the last couple of days. Your bump appeared out of nowhere once you'd found out you were pregnant, but with the sudden change in your body came changes you really didn't appreciate - your pelvis was agony. Since you hit the 7 month mark, it felt like it was on fire daily.
"Like dogshit. Like my hips want to cripple me. This is hell Cillian, I miss you so much!" You started to cry again, Cillian feeling completely helpless. He'd already missed so much of this precious time filming, neither of you able to come home or visit due to Covid restrictions and y/n having a high risk pregnancy. Severe morning sickness, coupled now with severe pelvic girdle pain, doctors had signed you off on sick until your maternity leave kicked in in 6 weeks time. You couldn't walk now without crutches, relying on friends and family to bring you groceries. You were beginning to resent your own baby, which made you feel even worse.
"I'm on the first flight home tomorrow morning, we wrapped filming up a month early so I could come home sooner. I wanted to surprise you, but I'm shit at surprises!" He chuckled, causing you to giggle too. You perked up, still lay on the sofa like a bloated whale but at least you were smiling now.
"Really? You'll be home tomorrow?"
"Flight lands at 7am. I'll be home by 7:45. And I'm not going anywhere, y/n, I've cleared my schedule. Nothing coming up, no press, no interviews, I'm completely yours and the baby's for the foreseeable future. I promise." Tears fell again, but this time, happy ones. He'd be home in less than 12 hours. One more sleep, and he'd be home.
*************************************
"Come on y/n... You can do this!" You gripped Cillians hand hard as another contraction rippled painfully across your abdomen. Why the fuck did you refuse the epidural? What the hell were you thinking??
"I can't... I can't do it... Cillian I've been doing this for hours I can't..... Aaaaahhhhhh!" You screamed as your body took over and you bore down. The midwife ordering you to push.
"You can, you can baby, come on... She's nearly here! So close now, just a little longer..." He breathed with you, patting your head with a cold flannel to cool you down. Another contraction, another push...
Suddenly the room erupted with a baby's loud cry, swiftly followed by your own. Cillians eyes watered as your daughter was lifted in the air, still attached by the umbilical cord. Cillian cut it, taking your daughter into his arms. It was already decided he would hold your baby first, after all, you'd been carrying her for 9 months! You choked, seeing him holding your baby for the first time, as he carried her over to you to hold to your chest.
"She's here... She's beautiful.. look at her eyes Cillian!" Ocean blue, just like his.
"She has your nose y/n... My god she's perfect..." He kissed your head gently, openly sobbing now and not caring in the slightest. He thanked you. He thanked you for bringing his daughter safely into the world, for going through hell during the worst pregnancy you could've imagined..
"All worth it... Every second.. but I'm never doing this again Cillian.. I mean it, never again." You glared at him then at the scissors on the table, then down at his groin.
"Fuck off, y/n, I'm not having anyone snipping anything down there..."
"Looks like a life of celibacy then Murphy, that's the only logical conclusion."
"I'll book an appointment next week." You smirked. Very rarely did you not get your own way, and now he had two girls against him, he knew he'd never get his OWN way ever again.
And he wouldn't have it any other way.
Taglist:
@queenshelby @peakyscillian @ntmynouis @margoo0
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Text
Tony Leung: “[Wenwu] isn’t a villain at all!”
On September 6, 2021, Tony Leung sat down with Hong Kong actress Carol “Dodo” Cheng for an interview about life, sports, and of course, his latest Hollywood outing as a widower who grieved the death of his beloved wife and a father who “didn’t know how to love [his children]” in Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings.
=
Interview is originally in Cantonese, and has been translated into English.
FULL TRANSCRIPT BELOW:
-
Today I'm really pleased to interview Tony Leung Chiu-Wai. The last time I really chatted with you in earnest was... Do you remember? In 2013.
I think that time I was with...
We were on a plane together. 
At the mall? On a plane?
We arrived in Hong Kong, and went to some awards ceremony. We were waiting for our luggage, exchanged a few words. That was 2013, and we haven’t met since. Where did we meet up next? I’m sure you won’t remember. It was here in Hong Kong. I was surprised by you. I usually go to the supermarket, very early in the morning. Because there's no-one there. 
Yeah.
I saw you there.
I think that was probably it. Not too crowded in the morning. 
You too. Why so early in the morning?
To... buy food. I usually wake up at 6am. I’d exercise until about 10am-ish, and then I’d…
Go for a walk.
Shower, then shop for food. I usually eat quite simply— it’s either salad, or buckwheat noodles. Salad doesn't stay fresh very well. So I’d get up early in the morning, shop for what I like, and prepare it at home.
Have you been eating healthy all this time?
I’m not doing this particularly for my health. I get an upset stomach easily. I get food poisoning very easily. And it’s miserable having food poisoning! When you’re at work, others don’t know how bad you’re having it. But you can’t tell-- you can’t convey that.
Alright, at this point it’s time for a nostalgia trip. We used to be colleagues, and we’ve shot TV series together. At that time, did you feel that you could eat whenever and not have to sleep… When did you start prioritising your health?
When did it start? I think it would have been… at least 20 years ago. Because it’s miserable being sick while on set. You’ve got to keep working. Even when I had a fever, (producer) Wong Kar-Wai would say, “No, it’s the last day, you’ve got to make it.” So I would work with a fever!
It’s good that everyone's health-conscious now, and wants to avoid falling ill. So when I was preparing for this interview, some friends told me, They’d seen you and me do an interview, from many years ago. I don’t think you’d remember. We’re talking many years ago - decades here! You were really young at the time. At the TV station you were a rising star, a top male lead actor. So I interviewed you. I asked you a question, and I don’t know if you remember how you answered. I asked, “Have you thought about retirement?” You did give me an answer at the time. Do you remember at what age you said you’d retire?
I really don’t remember. I’m sure retirement was always on my mind then.
You were in your 20s then, not quite 30. You told me— “I will definitely retire at 36!”
[laughter]
What changed your mind?
I believe that when I started out as an actor, it was certainly hard work when I was just starting out. But I thought, I wouldn’t get to where I am today without going through tough times. But as I slowly grew as a person, my perspectives and values have changed. I feel more at ease. So I wouldn’t think in extremes like I did before. I think that in the past 10, 20… 10 years? I've become a more relaxed person. I wouldn’t just say, “now I’ll retire.” If I want to keep going, I will.
This is your favourite line of work, isn’t it?
Except sport. 
Could you imagine yourself in any other career? I can’t.
I’d be a sportsperson. 
A sportsperson, playing what?
I play a lot of sports. I like mountain biking, sailing, water skiing, surfing… I’m up for anything. 
You really like water sports, don’t you?
It’s hot in Hong Kong, and summer takes up most of the year. What’s more refreshing than being in the water?
How about in winter?
I’d still be in the water, wearing long sleeves.
You wouldn’t take up running?
I don’t particularly like it… I can’t seem to find much variety in running. I like to interact with nature directly. There’s something new every day. Take sailing, for example. Every day is different, the weather changes.
Your body is in a different condition every day.
You're working with the changing conditions. You end up building up a lot of knowledge. You learn about nature, the weather, changes in conditions. The water, currents, what do you call it... Hot weather warms the ocean and you’ll have gusts of wind. I didn’t know all this. But the more I sailed, the more I thought,“This is great!”
You’ve got a real passion for this.
I do.
What have you been up to during the pandemic? It’s been 1— almost 2 years, hasn't it?
I was filming in 2 movies… And... flying here and there.
Do you need to quarantine? 
Quarantine! Countless times.
We’ve talked for so long, let’s come back to this film, Shang-Chi. I believe Tony has received endless invitations to appear in overseas films. Why did you choose this film?
I didn't really... I believe it’s fate to be involved in certain films. I can’t just want to act in some type of film, then get it. An opportunity comes up, but sometimes the director might not like me, or I might not like the screenplay. Or I might like the director, but I don’t like the character. So you can’t just make this sort of thing happen. I think sometimes the time will be just right and things will happen. The director may like me, and I like the project, or I like the director. Or I might want to try something in particular. It takes a lot, a combination of factors, for something to happen.
It's like a piece of furniture, isn't it? The pieces need to be joined precisely.
Yes.
How were you scouted for this movie? How were you approached?
The director approached me, wanted to have a chat with me. So I...
What's your requirements for taking on a film? Do you need to read through the whole screenplay?
That would be best. It would.
You would've been in many films without a solid screenplay, wouldn't you?
There would still be an idea. 
An overview of sorts.
But this movie... You know Marvel is very secretive. At the beginning, I was in a video conference call with the director. What he could tell me at the time was, "You're going to be the main villain. Your character has many layers." Then I asked, "do I need to fight?" "No, because you have those rings." So I said, "then I'll definitely be fine." That was all.
What about that drew you in? Being the main villain?
That was one of the draws. In the past few years, I wanted to try characters different to those I'd played previously.
Why do all actors who have played male leads want to go off and play villains?
Actually... there's more complexity to them. I feel like there's a different mindset between playing a protagonist and an antagonist. I've acted for 30-something years. It's about time I did something different.
So you're in, you're headed to the shoot, and you're now the main villain! What's the mindset behind this?
Oh, not for this film. I thought I was the villain at first. A month before the shoot, I read the script. I didn't think this character was a villain at all. There was a real human side to this villain. Perhaps Marvel was hoping to portray a villain from a different angle this time around. So I was puzzled. Initially I was expecting, "Ooh, a villain, this will be fun", but when I looked at the script, "no, this isn't a villain at all!"
Very sentimental? 
Yes, and a lot of humanity.
You thought it would be easy playing a villain.
I didn't think it would be easy.
You didn't think there would be so much emotion. 
I didn't think it would be easy. I thought there would be more evil in him. I read the script and thought, "oh no, he's not evil at all", And that's difficult to portray. How would you let the audience... and I thought, "wow it's as if he's a good guy?" I read through the script and couldn't find the evil in this character.
How would you portray this character? Was the director able to help you?
The director...
Or did he put a lot of trust in you? 
I rarely... He put a lot of trust in me, and I don't discuss with the director often. I thought, what's the use of discussing? I could just act it out. You can be really idealistic when you discuss. I would rather do more... When I arrived, Destin would ask me, "Do you want to talk it out?" and I would say no.
Was there a read-through? 
No, no read-through.
You went straight to shooting?
Yes, straight to the shoot.
Then it would be like, "Tony, stand here, in this shot do this and that, and you'd do it?
Yeah. It was kind of like that. We filmed the action scenes first. So there was time to warm up. Then the dramatic parts. I like the drama most. I felt the most excited during these parts. The action scenes were particularly tough, because it was summer in Australia then.
Did you need to train?
I did. At first I was told I didn't need to fight. Then when I got there— wow, there's so many action scenes! So I scrambled and...
But you've got those rings. You can just throw the rings.
Sure, but there's still some action involved. Because I didn't physically prepare beforehand, it was rather tough at first. I got used to it as the shoot went on, but the weather was still hot. And there were period costumes, so it was tough at first.
So there was a sequence, they filmed all the action scenes first, and then scenes with dialogue afterwards, is that right?
I think they deliberately scheduled this so I could warm up a little. So I wouldn't need to dive straight into very intense dialogue.
There are a lot of actors involved, right? Your character has a son, too. Is this the first time you're portraying a dad?
Would it be my first time... 
Or you have, but not for a much older son?
Yes, not for a much older son. I had a child in “The Grandmaster” as well. But not that old, no.
How would you portray the emotions of a father-son relationship? Because your character didn't know his son. 
It was manageable. In this movie, the father-- not that he didn't love his children. He didn't know how to love them. This character doesn't even know how to love himself. The love was from his wife, portrayed by Fala Chen, He found love in this woman. But he doesn't know how to love others. So he was very distant from his children, his sons— his daughters were pretty much ignored. He was a father figure who preferred sons over daughters, a rather... traditional father archetype. Almost the old-fashioned type.
In shooting this movie, what was most difficult for you?
The action scenes. 
Do you do all these scenes yourself?
I try to, but they wouldn't let us do the really dangerous ones. If you're injured, who's going to replace you?
Sure.
But I try to do as much as I'm able.
You'd need to rehearse the scenes with everyone. 
Of course. Once we arrived, they arranged for Fala, my son, played by Simu, and my daughter... like you and I used to, we would all practice in the studio.
How long were the working hours?
It was 10 working hours a day, but we went all the way through that. There was no break in between. 
Really? I thought you would be sitting comfortably in your trailer?
No! We filmed a lot every day! You know how that made me felt? It felt like I was in my TV days again.
Really?
You'll think, "will we get through this much filming today?" And by the end of the day, you would. But it was very intense. Perhaps they didn't want us to have a break, because we'd have to disperse and regroup. So we went all the way through. Once we arrived in the studio, it was full steam ahead. There was no meal break, because there was always...
No meal break?
No.
I've never heard of a Hollywood film shoot without meal breaks.
There's food throughout the day. Catering comes around, and we'd just eat.
But there wouldn't be an hour for a meal break.
No.
How long was shooting in total?
I was involved for about... 4 months.
Was that long or short timeframe, in your experience?
I felt like it was short, because they were very efficient and organised. They planned it really well. So every you'd head in and whoosh,
It flowed well. 
Yes, very professional.
In your opinion, are there particular scenes you're in that the audience should pay attention to?
I think... I wouldn't say particular scenes, but the film as a whole. I don't think you've all seen me in this get-up before.
We could tell from the promos.
Very different to what I've played before.
Did you stay in one place for four months, or did you have to fly around?
We were only in Sydney, because we were in a studio. It was all green screen. There were a lot of special effects, so we only had to construct part of a set, And the rest was green screen, so it was mostly shot in the studio. Only the opening and ending were elsewhere, in a park, and in a village on a set they'd constructed. So I was there for... I was in Sydney the whole time. But because of the pandemic, I left for a few months in the middle, and returned when were were able to shoot again.
How did you feel about your experiences after the shoot? It's a Marvel movie, very different from the dramas and other films you've been in. How would you sum up your experiences?
Very stressed, very frustrated.
Really?
Because I'm the type of person who stays in their comfort zone. I filmed with familiar directors, and familiar crew.
You've really leapt out of your zone there.
I really stepped out of this comfort zone, working with strangers. The only person I could trust in was the director. I didn't know anyone else there. And when I got a copy of the screenplay, like I mentioned, I realised, "Wow, a villain that doesn't feel like a villain, what do I do?" I'd only received the script a month before the shoot. And when I got there, I had to work with the dialect coaches on delivery. I was filming, I was thinking... it was stressful. But we got through in the end.
Where were the costumes done?
In Tokyo. I was there at the time, and our costume designer kindly flew over to dress and fit me. At the time I didn't know what was in the script, I didn't know the story. But the costumes helped me a lot at the time. The movie's costumes were made beautifully. I thought they had good design sense. So when I was dressed for the first time, I was able to feel...
That you were the character.
Yes, roughly. I had an initial feeling for it. And then I would turn up in person, and get a better feel as I played the character.
So the shoot is over, it's about to be released. What plans do you have next, Tony?
Well when I came back to Hong Kong, I took part in a local film. Then I might shoot one in Shanghai, and then a TV series in Vancouver.
So you've done a complete turn-around since I last interviewed you. You were thinking of retiring at 36, do you not plan to retire now?
Not that I haven't thought about it... I'll stop when I feel tired. Then I'll go back to playing sports. If I feel like I've taken too long a break, and go "no, I need to do something," and there's something I'm really interested in, I'll do it. I don't need to come to a complete stop. It's something I like, after all.
So when you film in future, you wouldn't be thinking, "oh, I've been in a Hollywood production, "I will only appear in productions at that tier.” You'll be happy with a good screenplay.
Yes.
You might be asked to shoot drama films again. You would still take that on?
Well, I haven't given myself...
You've already left your comfort zone.
Yes, but I haven't really limited myself to what I think I should film. If there's a good film, I'll shoot in it. If there's something I like, I'll do it.
Well Tony, surely a typical day in Hong Kong for you wouldn't be on the water all day. What's a typical day like for you without shoots?
Well I'd get up, and there would be at least 2 hours of exercise.
Every day?
Yes.
Monday through Sunday?
Maybe one, half day's rest. You've got to let your body recover.
How about when you're shooting in Hollywood?
Not during filming, I'd save up my energy for that. Shooting takes 10 hours a day, but hair and makeup could take 2 hours. That's 12 hours, and it was tiring.
That's true.
I needed the energy for filming. But in Hong Kong, without a shoot, I'd have 2 hours exercise in the morning, make lunch, I might do some sports, like sailing, or water skiing. I'll come home, maybe watch a movie, or read a book. That's it. Maybe I'll have dinner.
I wouldn't exactly call that exciting. [Laughter]
It's pretty exciting!
For you, at least.
If the weather's good and I spend the day out sailing, I'd feel really happy about that. But not every day's a good day. I might capsize, and it would feel wrong. But it's not all that bad.
Why don't you enter competitions?
I have entered competitions.
Have you placed in these competitions?
Well... I have placed before.
What did you place?
I think second.
Oh, that's quite good. If you competed in the Olympics in sailing, there's no age limit there right?
Yes, there's no limit. But you don't necessarily have to compete in the Olympics. I could...
But we would all be happier for it, Tony. Imagine, Tony Leung Chiu-Wai representing Hong Kong and winning a medal! You've seen how happy the medalists have been this year.
It's really hard! It's really hard!
Why is that?
You're not as fit as younger people. It's hard. I play sports purely for enjoyment. I feel like it's an experience.
Fair enough.
It's... I'm not the type to want first place or something.
You're not a competitive person.
Yes. I don't want to experience a sport in that way. I'm there for my own enjoyment, not to win.
Let's say in future... since I last saw you in 2013— that wasn't even an interview, and now I've met you after all this time. Let's say in 5 years. What would you be doing in 5 years' time?
Maybe I...
Back then you said you'd retire at 36. I'll ask you again now, let's not dredge up the past. What do you think you'd be doing?
In 5 years' time, I think I would have more time for sports. [laughter]
Still on the water?
Yeah. Well, not necessarily, but a lot of different sports. I do want to try some—
Try running! I've seen Kar Ling (Carina Lau) run before! 
Yes, she likes running, and hiking too.
Why don't you run with her?
I don't really like running.
Hiking?
Hiking, I'd rather... well when I'm skiing, I'd walk in the back country, in good weather, carrying my skis and wearing my cleats, it's the same thing. I'd hike up and ski down. But not that kind of hiking. Well sometimes... when in summer, in Hokkaido, I can't ski. I would still hike, but I wouldn't really like it. But it would be better with friends.
But you don't like being around too many people. 
I sometimes like being with family. But my family... not everyone can hike. One might cramp up halfway.
Since you like being on the water so much, how many people does it take to do that?
One.
Just you?
Yeah.
Just someone to steer the boat.
Uhh... yeah.
It doesn't matter if there's a boat?
I do a lot of different water sports. I have those... electric boards, the type that shoot up like a magic carpet on the water, I have a stand up paddleboard, I can surf by myself too, that's doable. A lot of the sports I do can be done solo. I don't need a lot of people around.
You've really changed from before. You used to like to... go out at night?
Yeah.
That's all gone?
It has for a while. I haven't been in the nightlife for 20, 30 years. I'd eat out for dinner at most. Then I'd go straight home.
I remember I used to shoot TV dramas with you, you surprised me— We've filmed one or two series together, I would go straight home to bed afterwards, because I've always been a morning person. You could still say, "I'm going to go out for a bit." Yet the next day — our call sheets had us in very early — you were still able to make it in on time. Back then…it was a rite of passage.
Because I was young. Yes, and it was life experience. There are things you should do at that age.
Sure. Well, I hope to see you in another production soon. If this series were really successful, would you continue in any sequels?
[laughter] I really don't know, I can't say.
Why's that?
I feel like... as I've mentioned, there's fate involved in shooting a particular film. We'll see where...
…where fate takes you.
...where fate takes me.
Thank you Tony Leung Chiu-Wai for being with us today.
You're welcome.
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Here to Misbehave (Pt. 19 | S.R.)
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Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | Part 22 | Part 23 | Finale |
Summary: Reader and Spencer share the night together following her doctor’s appointment. Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+) Content Warning: Fingering, penetrative sex, degradation, daddy kink, Adults w/ Age Gap (10yr), spitting kink, unprotected sex (creampie), vague mention of subdrop, aftercare included Word Count: 6.2k
MASTERLIST
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There was something about the BAU bullpen that felt like another world. The open layout and the way it could shift from frantic rushing to bored silence in seconds sometimes made me feel like I was the most normal person contained within its walls. It was a rare sight, to see me there, and for good reason. I didn’t like to be there, considering most of my time there had been spent being questioned about homicide.
But it wasn’t like that, not that morning. I’d finished my doctor’s appointment early enough that I could hopefully locate the elusive Dr. Reid before he took off for lunch. And sure enough, just as I excitedly bounced over to his desk, I heard the ever-excited, yet comforting squeak of my boyfriend as he returned with a freshly poured cup of coffee.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” he practically yelled through a smile, rushing over to drop the mug on his desk. He couldn’t do it fast enough and barely made it. Once the mug was barely safe on the desk, his arms raced to wrap around me.
I giggled at the enthusiasm, considering it’d only been a couple hours since I saw him. But I was ecstatic to be with him and share the news I’d tucked away to keep safe on the way over. It was too much to bear by myself for long, and I knew he would be happy to help carry the load.
“I finished my appointment early and since I was in the neighborhood, I wanted to come see my boyfriend and give him the good news in person.” I explained. Spencer eyed me cautiously, careful not to get too far ahead of himself. I looked back with what I’d hoped was a cheeky grin, but I had a feeling it just turned into a goofy, toothy grin. Just as Spencer figured it out and his eyebrows shot up, another voice joined us.
“Mia stellina!” Rossi boomed, the bass carrying through the room like it always seemed to. It was the kind of joyful exclamation that demanded your attention, no matter how dark the circumstances surrounding you were. I knew that from personal experience.
I laughed again as he enveloped both me and Spencer in a hug that the latter only kind-of-sort-of cringed away from.
“Reid didn’t tell us that you were coming in today! I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”
I snorted at the implication, stepping back to buy back my breathing space. “You’re never a bother, Rossi.” And I meant it, even if he had just interrupted mine and Spencer’s very important conversation. I could table it for a moment, though. There hadn’t been many chances for me to talk to Rossi since the hospital. Although he'd visited less frequently than Derek or Hotch, he'd still come by often enough for me to miss him. He was, by far, the most unique member of the team. People always assumed it would be Penelope, but I stuck with my contention that it’s the quieter ones you have to keep an eye on. Not that Rossi didn’t love to talk, and especially when it granted him the ability to name-drop.
“This is why I like you,” he casually reminded, waving off a slightly offended Spencer on his side. “And I trust that Reid already told you about the plans for next weekend.”
As soon as I turned to look at Spencer, he immediately looked away.
Luckily, Rossi wasn’t obtuse and quickly recognized the display of guilt. “I stand corrected.”
“What plans?” I butted in before either of them could speak. Spencer grimaced at the monotone, as he was fully aware of the level of annoyed it signaled.
“I told him to extend you an invite to the next family dinner, but it seems like he’s selfishly planning on keeping you all to himself.” Rossi’s playful tone was his way of requesting I give Spencer a break, but I wasn’t in the mood for forgiveness just yet. After spending months trapped in my bed, I was always looking for an excuse to talk to anyone that wasn’t my roommate. And when it came to the team... I mean, they were like his family. It made sense I wanted their approval, right? Or was I really, honestly just seeking the approval of men like Hotch and Rossi because of my “daddy issues?” And oh, god, I didn’t want to delve into that psychology.
“How rude,” I deadpanned, instead, elbowing Spencer’s side just enough to elicit a pained exhale and an explanation.
“I was going to tell her. I was just waiting until we actually knew when it was going to happen.”
“He’s lying,” I told Rossi, earning a very adamant, denial from Spencer in the process that I brushed off. We both did. The pout that immediately followed was harder to ignore, but I could be strong.
Honestly, it was just funny to see him in this environment. When he was alone with me, he was usually the one in charge, but at work, Spencer was hardly that. It was the only chance I had to tease the ever living shit out of him with little chance of immediate consequences.
“Yeah, he’s lying,” Rossi easily deduced, waving a dismissive hand at Spencer before continuing, “But luckily, you were here. And whenever it happens, I hope that you’ll be there, too. It’s important for you to have a chance to socialize with us outside of the job.”
I smiled, finally looping my arm around Spencer’s to hopefully ease the pain caused by being ignored. Rossi, however, didn’t seem to be on the same wavelength, considering he gave another quick quip. “Hopefully you’ll bring the kid with you,” he teased as he turned away, pointing to the notably older and larger man at my side.
“How am I the kid in this scenario?” Spencer muttered under his breath, the pout still on his face, and still just as cute.
“Will do, Rossi,” I happily chirped.
“Thank you, stellina.” Rossi said with a wink, casually bringing both hands to his lips to blow each of us a kiss.
Once Rossi was fully out of earshot, Spencer sighed in resignation. He had complained before about the fact that the team had immediately felt comfortable with me, contrary to his own experience. But of course, it wasn’t fair to compare. I'd come into their lives piggybacking on their close relationship with him. Spencer didn’t see it that way, though.
“Why do you get a nickname?” he grumbled, dropping his head to the side to rest atop mine.
I didn’t let him rest there long, pushing him back away from me so that I could stand before him again. With my fingers under my chin, I flashed the brightest smile I could while dramatically emphasizing, “Because I’m a little star.”
Spencer looked down at me with a gentle adoration, his hand coming up to brush over my cheek. My face followed after him, desperate for any contact he could offer in the sterile environment. It didn’t really make much sense how touch starved I was; it wasn’t like he hadn’t touched me over the past couple months. Or even that he'd touched me any less-- if anything, it had been more.
But then again, how could I ever get enough? I was certain Spencer would call me spoiled, and in many ways, I was, but I didn’t care. If I could find a way to bottle up the way I felt when he held me, I would. Lord knows there were so many times when I'd needed it and he wasn’t there. I wouldn’t ever admit that to him, though. What would be the point?
He couldn’t always be there. Sometimes he would have to leave. 
Unaware of the dramatic monologue in my head, my boyfriend sighed. His lips pursed again while he watched my eyes soften the longer that he held my face. “You certainly are little,” he concluded. I knew he wanted to say more but feared doing so might lead the conversation down a path less suited for work. Although, what I had planned wasn’t exactly work appropriate, either.
“You know we’re definitely going, right?” I replied, peeking my tongue out from behind my lips.
With a loud groan, he took his hand back like the question had burned him. “Fine,” he conceded before quickly shifting the conversation, “but I’m more interested in what you came here to tell me. How did your appointment go?”
“It went very well. I got wonderful news,” I beamed. There were many idiosyncrasies of Dr. Spencer Reid that I absolutely adored, but one of my favorites happened to be the one where his eyebrows jumped halfway up his forehead, his eyes going wide with a curious glint. Just like they did then.
“Does this news mean you’ll be staying at my place tonight?”
“It can…” As I spoke, I wrapped both of my arms around his arm and pulled him down to whisper in his ear, “unless you want to take a long lunch break and get a head start.”
“Someone’s eager,” he replied with a snort that didn’t sound nearly as promising as I’d hoped.
“Can you blame me?”
Before I could sulk too hard, he poked me on the forehead and chuckled at the resistance I gave to the action. “Lunch, unfortunately, would not give me enough time for what I want to do to you,” he practically purred in a barely-there whisper against my ear. “When I get home, I want to find you on my bed with nothing on. Do you understand me, little girl?”
“Yes.” I had to stop myself from making too much noise, but a pathetic whimper slipped out before I could stop it.
“Good girl,” he whispered with his retreat, “I’ll see you then.”
Suddenly, I couldn’t wait for the hours to pass me by. I couldn’t stay at the BAU for long, recognizing a sudden shift of energy as JJ began rushing them into the office right before I left. At first, I thought it was a case, but Spencer assured me it wasn’t. He promised me that he would be home that night, and that I didn’t need to worry.
But the hours did not fly by; they took their sweet fucking time. I didn’t even bother waiting in the bed for most of them. I honestly spent nearly 8 of them rifling through the shelves in his living room, looking for a book that was both from this century and actually in English.
After I’d rifled through his cupboards and realized that he didn’t have any food, I went to the grocery store and bought food, returned, unloaded the bags, cooked and ate dinner before I came to one simple conclusion:
Spencer Reid was a filthy goddamn liar.
That was my admittedly grumpy thought when I finally crawled into his still empty bed in his even lonelier apartment. His pillow smelled enough like him that I could hug it and pretend that I wasn’t waiting for someone who was probably not going to come back anytime soon. I thought about going home, but I decided being lonely in his bed was better than being alone in my own.
My temper tantrum  kept my face sulkily buried in his pillow, so when my phone started to ring, I didn’t notice it. I didn’t notice much of anything, and before I knew it, I’d drifted off into a world where Spencer could keep his promises because his job didn’t suck.
Of course, even in my sadness my mind drifted to other memories spent there. I’d fallen back into the loop of memories of the last time we were together. I could almost feel his breath against my thighs and his hands raking over my hips. And like it always seemed to, reality and fantasy began to blur. Spencer’s hand on my thigh felt so hot, I was burning beneath it. My whole body tensed, my back arching in the hopes of finding him.
I wasn’t sure which woke me first, the low, gentle chuckle, or the whisper in my ear.
“Maybe I should change your nickname to Aurora.”
I sat up before I even registered the words. Reacting to his voice alone, my arms were already around him and dragging him back down before he could say anything else.
“You’re home!” I shouted, groggy but happy to not be alone. If I’d looked at the clock, I would have seen the hands pointing to the early hours of the next day, but it hardly mattered anymore. All that mattered to me was that he was there, in my arms.
“I guess it’s my fault for not specifying that you should be awake when I got home.”
Answering him with a sloppy, sleepy kiss on the lips, I relished the way he couldn’t stop himself from laughing through it. “I’m awake now,” I answered with a very poorly timed yawn. It luckily didn’t dissuade him, and his hands quickly worked up over my hips and beneath the sheer negligee I’d worn to bed hours earlier. 
“What’s this? I could have sworn my instructions were to not wear anything,” he chastised with a smile.
“I don’t follow instructions. You already knew that,” I mumbled back. It wasn’t until I ran my hands through his hair that I realized that he’d already stripped down to nothing before waking me up.
How considerate.
His curls seemed so much longer than before, and the movements seemed to distract him enough to grant me some mercy. We both knew why I didn’t want to be naked yet. And it really was a ‘yet.’ I truly believed that I’d eventually be able to own my body again, but that point just seemed so far in the future. Spencer didn’t want to push it. Not that night.
“I’ll let it slide this time.” He shared the words with kisses over my jaw and neck, his hands growing hungrier by the second. They skipped straight from my hips to my chest, grabbing hold of my breasts through the thin fabric. He was almost out of breath already when he murmured, “Before we do anything, you have to promise me you’ll stop me if it hurts.”
“I know, Spencer,” I droned, but he kept going.
“I mean it. Any sign of discomfort, you have to tell me.”
“I know!” I shouted with a laugh, struggling to push him away while he continued to cling to me. Finally having managed to do it, I promptly fell back onto the pillow. As I rolled my body over to lay flat, I managed to grab hold well enough that I could pull him over top of me. “Don’t ruin the mood!”
He stopped to admire the sight before him. All I could see, though, was the way he looked at me. The rest of the world seemed to fade away, and I wondered what he saw when he looked at me like that. He looked at me like he loved me so much he wanted to break me. I wished he would.
“How could I ruin anything when you look so fucking perfect laid out in my bed for me?” He growled, his nails dragging over the sensitive skin of my chest.
I couldn’t tell if it was his intention or some kind of Freudian slip, but I was reminded of the day I marred his chest with a necklace-shaped mark in a very similar fashion. The memory made me giggle. “I’m not so innocent.” The understatement of the century.
“Maybe not, but there are still a lot of things I’ve yet to show you.”
I was waiting for the but. I knew it was coming.
“But for now, we’re going to go slow.”
And there it was. I thought to myself how ridiculously unfair it was that having a good boyfriend meant actually being able to rely on them to take care of you. Even armed with the knowledge of my masochistic tendencies, Spencer was too scared to seriously hurt me. Thankfully, though, he wasn’t scared enough to stop him from sliding his hand up my thigh and slipping his finger into my drenched heat.
“The question is how slow?” he teased, recognizing from the rocking of my hips that I was more than prepared to have him then. “How much should I torture you, little girl?”
“Please,” was the only word I could whine at first, but I still saw too much restraint in his eyes. I knew that if I didn’t convince him now, I might be there for hours before he gave me what I wanted. It wasn’t the worst idea, but judging by his already bloodshot eyes, I figured I might as well speed things along.
“Please, daddy,” I whimpered much louder, tilting my hips up to present myself to him. I could feel his erection pressed against me, his palm pressing down as he struggled to decide if he even wanted to keep me in place. I could see that desire to destroy me return to his eye with a vengeance. He knew that I was challenging him, but then again, when did I not?
“Take care of me,” I begged. That was the way I succeeded in breaking Spencer; in turn, he would break me.
He grabbed my legs so quickly and roughly that I was almost dizzy with it. Wrapping them around his own hips, he lined himself up and began dragging the head of his cock over my sex. Low and wildly shaking, Spencer’s words were only barely audible over the sound of the blood rushing in my veins.
“Are you ready?” he asked, like my answer would ever change.
“Yes!” I shouted, nodding like my words wouldn’t be enough.
Spencer had barely waited for the confirmation. Inch by inch, he slowly stretched me open like it was the very first time he touched me. His movements were so precise, so gentle and undoubtedly tender, that I thought I might actually cry.
I had almost forgotten what it felt like when he touched me like that. I would never admit it to him, but with every passing second, I could feel the love rushing back to me. That connection that had felt strained was reinforced and reasserted.
He just felt so fucking good. And apparently, Spencer had similar thoughts in mind.
“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he groaned, his head falling forward to knock our foreheads together. There was clearly so much effort going into not hurting me that I just found myself hoping he was still enjoying it. That train of thought made it more difficult when his next question came. “Does it hurt?”
“No, it feels so fucking good,” I sobbed, and it was the truth. My hips, though already growing tired thanks to the months of disuse, struggled to try and take more of him. And even when he was fully inside me, I still cried out to him. “Please, Spencer!”
“Be patient,” he said with a grunt, his hips pulling back just enough for him to slam into me with more force. “I’m going to enjoy this.”
The words made a swarm of butterflies burst through my lower half that already felt so full with him. The statement just sounded so perfectly selfish in a way I’d been dying to feel for months. I wanted him to reap the rewards he’d so obviously earned. I wanted to give them to him, really, but I just couldn’t make it too easy. It wasn’t our style.
“So it’s not about taking care of me anymore, is it?” I pouted, although my lips quickly parted again as Spencer increased his pace in response.
“Are you not satisfied, little girl?” he teased, reaching up with one hand to wrap around my hair, forcing my head back among the pillows while he started to drive into me at a reckless pace. “Do you need me to fuck you harder?”
“Yes!” I yelled, my hands reaching for him, digging into his skin and bringing him closer to me. “I want it. Give it to me.”
Whether he sensed the desperation in my voice or simply couldn’t hold it back any longer, Spencer showed an uncharacteristic level of mercy on me. He barely protested at all before giving into my demands. Holding my head back in that same craned position, he laid sloppy kisses over my throat before whispering, “My little girl gets whatever she wants.”
There were no more words on my mind besides his name, which I recited over and over like a prayer. Each time he filled me, my eyes could barely stay open and my lips were nearly bruised from my constant biting. It was easy to forget that the rest of the world existed— that it was past midnight on a weeknight and everyone in the surrounding apartments would probably fucking hate us.
But Spencer didn’t seem to care either. Well, that’s a misstatement. Spencer definitely cared about my volume, but he didn’t care about other people not being able to hear it. He made that quite clear when he gripped my lower jaw in one hand and pulled it down, forcing my mouth open for him.
He had that look in his eyes again. The one that told me there were entire worlds in his mind that I hadn’t seen. Deeply hidden desires lurking just under the rippling surface. I wondered how far they went and just how much Spencer would hurt me if I could convince him to.
“Tell me what you want,” he ordered through clenched teeth, his jaw tensed and eyes still burning. There was a hurricane happening behind those hazel rings, and I wanted him to let it out.
I didn’t know how to ask him to do that; to convince him to break me even while I lay before him already broken and barely keeping it together. I did the only thing I could think to do with his hand still holding my mouth open to him and presented my tongue to him.
Spencer tried to remain composed and stoic as ever, but his body betrayed in him the same way it always did. His eyes. From the second they flickered down to see what I was asking for, his pupils blew out and swallowed the comforting toffee color of his irises.
With an even darker tone, Spencer chuckled, “You’re a filthy, greedy bitch.”
It’s hard to explain how much the words filled every part of my body. The way goosebumps rippled over my skin and an undeniable, almost unbearable heat burned at my face. It only got worse when Spencer finally did as I asked, gathering the saliva in his mouth just to drop it into my own.
The second it hit my tongue, I felt so irrefutably his that I was high with it. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as I swallowed between hungry gasps for air. And when it was over, I presented my tongue to him again.
I did so good, sir. Please tell me that I’m good, sir.
There were no words, but Spencer praised me in his actions. He lowered his mouth to mine, his tongue sliding against mine until our mouths were connected in the basest manner. For all the destructive power he held, he kissed me so softly. He still kissed me like he loved me.
Neither of us lasted much longer. Spencer’s hand slid from my jaw to rest on my neck, and a moan tore through my chest. Even though he applied no pressure, the casual reminder of what he could do to me was all that I needed. I lost myself in the bliss of him, my hands tangled in his hair and holding his mouth against mine even when I couldn’t kiss him anymore.
His eyes watched me, still covered in the blackness of his pupils and that animalistic desire to claim me however possible. I watched those eyes the entire time I came, wanting to both grant him the submission he deserved while also selfishly wanting to see the control I had over him, too.
Spencer kept his eyes open as he followed after me, unable to resist the calling of my body, begging him to mark, use, and fill it however he pleased. I watched his eyes roll back ever so slightly, his breath hitching as he pulsed inside me in tandem with my walls that held onto him for dear life.
I was his. I'd known that before, but how easily I’d forgotten. How quickly I’d let some stranger and some lead lay claim to me and make me believe that I could be anything but Spencer’s beautiful little girl.
When all semblance of fight left our bodies, Spencer still managed not to collapse on top of me. Apparently not even me letting him spit in my mouth was enough to convince him I was alright. I wrapped my arms around him and tugged him down on top of me, feeling the comfortable weight of him holding my chest down to more manageable breaths.
That was all there was for a while; our heavy breath breezing over sweat-covered skin as we lay tangled together under the sheets. I soaked in the feeling of slightly uncomfortable bliss, enjoying the way that we didn’t care if it wasn’t perfect because it felt close enough to us.
“I missed this,” Spencer said under his breath. It was a rare showing of selfish honesty— the first time he’d admitted to me that he had been having to hold part of himself back for months. He hadn’t been able to love me like he wanted, either. He might have been worried that I would take it the wrong way, but in reality, I had never felt so relieved to hear it.
“Me too.” I returned, trying to assuage his guilt as much as I could. I knew it wouldn’t do much, but I needed him to understand how grateful I was to share the moment with him.
Then again… They do say that laughter is the best medicine. So with a bit of a giggle, I mumbled, “Not so much the next part, but this one, yeah.”
With a small, sleepy chuckle, Spencer slurred against the pillow, “You’re such a romantic.”
“Says the asshole who doesn’t have to get up,” I reminded him. I struggled to move underneath him as he seemed to drop even more dead weight on top of me.
Like I said: Asshole.
“I wish you didn’t have to get up. I don’t want to let you go yet.”
I rolled my eyes, continuing to push at his stubborn shoulders while huffing back, “It’ll only be a few minutes, Spencer. The bathroom is right there.”
Nuzzling his face into my neck, he mumbled back, “Too long.”
“I can never tell if you’re more of an old man or a big baby.”
“I don’t know, let’s stay here and talk about it for a long time,” he answered with a laugh. I hated the fact that I laughed too, my attempts to shove him off finally ceasing. He pulled his head back, looking at me with all the love in the world.
I wasn’t ready for him to look at me like that. I couldn’t explain why, but the idea of him loving me still felt so terrifying. That fear was compounded by the realization that he might see it.
“Get up, idiot,” I replied to hide that emotion. It also helped to distract me from my own thoughts, and I ended up biting on my bottom lip to stop myself from smiling. It didn’t work.
“You’re so mean to me,” Spencer whined as he slowly removed himself with a small grunt.
“Only when you deserve it.”
Normally I would have eagerly gotten up myself, but I realized then just how painful it was to move. Spencer watched me with a massive, overwhelming guilt that formed before I could even think of how to prevent it. I decided it wasn’t worth it to try. It wouldn’t work. I just let him guide my legs off the bed so that I could shakily stand and shuffle off to the bathroom.
The best part about the time alone was being able to pull myself together and massage the angry scar tissue.
It won’t always be like this, I reminded myself, we can be beautiful again without it hurting.
That was the pep talk, anyway. It was the thing that got me back into the room and under the covers. Curling up by his side was like nature’s medicine. All of my muscles relaxed against him... until he turned around and ruined the perfect comfortable position.
Groaning in the least attractive manner, I pouted the entire time we readjusted. But despite my protests, Spencer looked as happy and comfortable as ever. Plopping my head back down on the pillow, I narrowed my eyes at his contemplation.
“What?”
“L’amor che move il sole e l’altre stelle,” he answered, which really only led to my confused face shifting to confused and incredibly turned on again. But one word in particular sounded familiar, as reminded by Rossi earlier in the day. Or rather, the day before.
“I recognize that last word. What are you saying about me, Dr. Reid?”
“It’s the final line in Divina Commedia by Dante Alighieri.” He was doing that cryptic thing again, having apparently not learned his lesson that I would always beat the answer out of him eventually, one way or another
Through a yawn, I mumbled, “What is that, Dante’s Inferno?”
“Well, Inferno is the first section, but I’m quoting Paradiso, which is the third and final installment of the overall work.” And apparently, he was also doing that thing where he taught me really interesting new things when I definitely did not have the brain capacity to understand or retain the information. We both knew I would have to Google it later, so there was no point in lingering.
“Okay, so what does it mean?”
Spencer paused, his gaze sweeping back and forth across my face like he was searching for the proper translation. Like the real answer he sought was something that could only be seen by his eyes. Eventually, he settled on a simpler and equally romantic response.
“It’s the way he describes the piece of Heaven he saw.”
But that still wasn’t good enough for my constantly curious self. It might have been the brat in me, but it was almost like he was avoiding the direct translation. Like I wasn’t smart enough to come to my own conclusion about it. “I’m going to keep asking until you answer me,” I droned, more reminiscent of a nagging two year old rather than a twenty year old. 
“Spoiled,” he remarked, lightly tapping on my nose before he sighed. “It means ‘the love which moves the sun and the other stars.’”
I thought about the words for a minute. Or rather, I thought about trying to think about the words. Unfortunately, my exhaustion and blissed-out brain got the better of me, and the beautiful words whispered, in English this time, went in one ear and out the other. Spencer was giving me a smug little smile, like he could see my cluelessness written on my face.
“I like the Heaven explanation better,” I sneered, trying not to let him win this one just yet. But it was obvious from the way his smile grew that he’d already won. 
“Yeah, I knew you would. You just had to keep asking.”
Snaking my hand around his waist, I pulled myself flush against him. “I’m a very curious kitten, Dr. Reid,” I purred, gently rubbing our noses together in a very successful attempt to distract him from gloating. 
And in a brief flash of self-awareness, I realized how utterly normal I felt. It wasn’t just average; unlike the domestic moments we’d shared over the recovery, this one felt so... natural. There was nothing foreign about his hand on the small of my back, and the rhythm his fingertips tapped felt like a lullaby I’d heard a million times before.
“I wouldn’t want you any other way,” Spencer whispered, breaking me from the brief aside and back into the present. 
“I’m pretty sure you’d have me in any form.” I didn’t laugh yet, but once Spencer joined in, there was no hope left for me.
“Yeah, probably, but you don’t have to point it out!” he whined.
I watched as the color started to form on his face, first starting with his ears and nose before spreading out across his cheeks. That blush, still visible in the dim light, was still one of the most beautiful things in the world to me. I never tired of it. Paired with his embarrassed giggles mingled with my own, I felt the undeniable and overwhelming emotion that could only be described as ‘love.’
When the laughter finally ceased, it was just the two of us in silence again, although now we were so close together that we might as well have been one person. It felt that way sometimes. Not like one might think— it was not the supposedly romantic but strangely depressing idea that we aren’t whole without another. It was more like knowing that I would never be more myself than I was when I was in his arms.
Comfortable. Safe. At home.
“Spencer?” I spoke before he could fully close his eyes that he somehow kept open for me. 
“What’s up?”
“Thank you.”
That seemed to wake him up, which was not at all my intention. In fact, I'd hoped he wouldn’t respond at all and let the words stand. But he must have heard the hidden message behind it, the fear that all good things must come to an end.
“For what?” he asked. His hand on my back started to make soothing strokes under the negligee, reasserting his presence with me.
I considered answering. I thought about word vomiting all of my fears of inadequacy and broken promises and a future of settling for me. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t ruin the moment with such stupid things. The feelings would pass with enough time, right? I didn’t want to bother him with it. I didn’t even know if the problems were problems at all.
“I just wanted you to know that I’m happy and I love you,” I said, instead.
Spencer still saw that I was hiding something, but we were both too tired to push it. We could always talk about it in the morning if we remembered, which I was hoping we wouldn’t.
“I wish I could help you understand how much I love you,” he murmured, removing his hand from my back to trace my jaw. “I can tell you that I want to marry you and raise a family with you but… I don’t think it’s enough.
My stomach immediately dropped. It fell so hard that I actually flinched from his hand, my face twisting into an even more obvious grimace. If my hope was for Spencer to sleep, I’d made a grave error. He immediately shot up onto his arm, cupping my face and inspecting my eyes for any persisting sign of pain.
“What’s wrong?” he pressed, his eyes bouncing back and forth between my stomach and eyes. “Are you okay?”
“Nothing is wrong!” I squeaked, my hands flying to his shoulders to pull him back down. “I’m fine. I’m just tired.”
Our eyes locked in a challenge; a silent back and forth of wills and pleas. And eventually, Spencer started to lower back on the pillow. He’d let me win this one.
“It is past your bedtime,” he said with only a whisper of defeat in his voice.
“It’s past every normal human being’s bedtime, Spencer,” I said before turning away from him in the hope that it would make that concern in his eyes hurt less. It didn’t.
“And you think I’m the old man,” he joked back, snuggling up behind me and sighing into my neck as his hand rested on my hip. “Goodnight, little girl.”
So soon after he spoke, he was already asleep. Unfortunately, it wasn’t so simple for me. Even in his sleep, Spencer’s hands found their way to my stomach. His fingers spread over the expanse of skin like the scars didn’t exist at all. Like it was just as perfect a placement for him to hold onto me as it ever was before. Spencer had a tendency to hold me with so much love that I no longer felt capable of containing it.
It was... suffocating. It took my mind back to images of his blood soaked hands in much of the same position. His hands felt foreign again, and I felt even further away. Like Spencer wasn’t actually there, and neither was I. All that he was holding onto was memory instead of me.
He said he loved me, but he didn’t say why. The only answers my mind would consider were things that had already died months ago. Things that his hands and kisses couldn't fix.
I couldn’t ask him why. I was too afraid of the answer.
 —————————————————
| Part 20 |
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ssa-babygirl · 4 years
Text
Out of my League [Part 6]
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Single mom!Reader
Word count: 3.3k
Summary: JJ gives you some bad news and Spencer feels like he’s only making matters worse. For both of you.
Warning(s): Angst, mentions of grief and death, allusions to relapse, swearing, mentions of drinking, this is lowkey a mess so i may have missed a couple of warnings
Author’s Note: IT’S HERE!!!! YAY!!! that’s the happiest you’re gonna be all chapter. The next one may take a bit of time and i am SORRY for that because this may or may not have a sorta cliffhanger you should just read it to find out!! also heads up there are a lot of perspective changes later on please just imagine how it would be cut together in a movie that’s how i wrote it OK ENJOY DON’T BE MAD JUST TRUST ME OK??
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Washington, D.C., 2011
(Reader POV)
You’d gone to three different funerals since moving to D.C. Three more than you would have liked, obviously, no one ever really wants to go to a funeral.
The first had been your father’s. You had Jamie and your mom, but you needed Spencer. He was out on a case and you couldn’t blame him for not being there, but he made up for it a million times over. Your dad’s death wasn’t unexpected, and while it hurt to say goodbye, it was relatively easy to move on.
The second had been for Aaron’s ex-wife, Haley. You didn’t really know her, but Aaron was your friend and you wanted to support him. That and Jamie got along very well with Jack, acting almost as an older cousin, and you know how important family is when you lose a parent.
The third and most recent funeral was the worst one: Emily’s. She was there one day, raring to go and take on the world, gone the next. 
The day you found out was just terrible. JJ had called you herself to tell you. You managed to stay calm until you hung up, when you practically threw your phone onto the kitchen table and collapsed into a chair, tears pouring down your face as silent sobs wracked your body.
Jamie ran in at the sound of you crying, “Mom? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
You shook your head, unable to speak. Jamie wordlessly wrapped his arms around your shoulders and held you as you struggled to regain your voice. When you could finally breathe and relay the news you just received, you choked out, “Aunt Emily died last night.”
Then Jamie started crying too. He curled up into your shoulder and sobbed into your shirt, soaking you to the skin, almost like he was little again. You crumbled at the sound of his whines and cries. Every part of your chest ached with the weight of your grief. 
“What happened to her?” He finally whimpered.
“She has a dangerous job,” You didn’t even notice the tense you used, “A bad man was after her.”
“Well, is everyone else okay? What about Uncle Derek? What about Doc—”
“Everyone else is fine, baby, no one else was hurt. Doc’s fine.”
You sat still for God knows how long, silent, clutching each other like a lifeline, praying this was all just a dream and that you’d get a call from Emily telling you it was all some sick joke. Of course, you’d be furious with JJ, but at least there wouldn’t be a hole in your family where Emily had once been. 
Your mother came over to help you cook, the same role you had taken years prior while your father was sick. She consoled you and Jamie for the next two days and then drove you to the funeral. You got out of the car and walked in silence to the church, clutching Jamie’s hand as you entered. 
Aaron was the first at the door. He wasn’t one for hugs, but when he saw you, exhausted and barely standing, he pulled you and Jamie in tight. The hug was brief, but it helped, God, did it help. Dave was just behind him, and he didn’t hesitate. He ruffled Jamie’s hair and gave you a kiss on both cheeks. JJ was holding Henry in the corner, and Will gave you a weak smile. Derek and Penelope were holding one another, both shaking as they cried. Your grip on Jamie’s hand grew tighter, tighter, tighter until you saw him.
You then dropped Jamie’s hand as you ran over, arms open wide as your son followed close behind, “Spence--”
He returned your hug instantly, burying his face in your hair, “I’m sorry I didn’t call--”
You felt Jamie join the hug, but you kept your head buried in Spencer’s chest, “No, I’m sorry too, I didn’t know what to do.”
“Me neither.” He pulled away, wiping away some tears and sniffling, “I’ve just been holed up in my room reading Vonnegut all for the past three days.”
Of course, “What books?”
“Mostly Slaughterhouse-Five, it was her--”
“Her favorite,” You nodded as you spoke the last part in unison with him.
“Yeah. I read it out loud just…” His voice cracked and the words looked painful to get out, “Just in case she could hear me.”
Your heart broke imagining him wrapped in blankets, eyes rimmed red as they glazed over the worn-out pages. You ached at the thought of his voice cracking just as it did before as he read for hours and hours, begging the universe to let Emily hear him, “She did. And she loved it.”
“I just hope she didn’t realize I was crying,” he muttered, and it shattered you, “She wouldn’t want us to cry for her.”
“You’re right, but I know she’d be unbelievably offended if we didn’t cry just a little bit,” Spencer’s tearful smile was enough to make you feel slightly better. There was still hope.
Your mom took Jamie home after the wake, knowing that you needed time with the team to feel like a person again. You went home with Spencer. He shouldn’t have to be alone anymore.
“You’re really good at taking care of me,” he smiled weakly, sipping the tea you made for him.
“Yeah, I had a good teacher.” Your mother was always there when you lost someone. You had your ups and downs, but she was a good mom.
“Does it get easier? Losing someone?”
“No. It always hurts just as bad,” you sigh, “But moving on used to be a lot harder.”
“Do you still miss him?”
“Of course I do, but less than I used to.” You still talked to your dad sometimes, something you did as a kid when he wasn’t home, just telling him about your day or narrating what you were doing. Even after all these years, you still found yourself explaining to no one that you had to run to store and buy bread to make Jamie’s lunch.
“I see little pieces of him everywhere I go. Jamie has the same exact smile. His favorite book when he was little was the same one my dad read to me. No one ever really leaves. Family, friends, they stick with us.”
“I’ve never lost a friend before. When Gideon left, I knew he was out there. Same with Elle. I could have Garcia find them right now and call them up to see how they’re doing, but Emily--” his voice cracked too much for him to want to continue, so he dropped it altogether.
“Did I ever tell you about my college roommate, Juliet?”
“No.”
“We were best friends. We did everything together: Movie nights, parties, all that. The night of our last final senior year, we decided to go clubbing to celebrate.”
You told him the whole story. The drinking, the dancing, the guy. You don’t remember his name, but you remember trusting him. He was sweet and Juliet liked him, so when she came to you at the bar after dancing with him telling you she was going home with him, you let her.
“I was happy for her! She had just gone through a breakup a few months before, so it was nice to see her getting some,” you let out a weak laugh, “I remember the last thing I said before she left was ‘Okay, have fun, call me in the morning, we’ll get brunch. I love you.’” Spencer winced, almost as if he knew where this story was going. Given his line of work, he was expecting far worse, but he at least knew that we didn’t get lunch the next morning.
“I went home a little bit later, I got bored, so I got a taxi home.”
You close your eyes and sigh deeply, “I’m in the back seat when I get a call. It was Juliet’s phone.”
“She wasn’t calling you, was she?”
“No, it was the police. Juliet didn’t have a good relationship with her parents, so I was her emergency contact.” You had to plan the funeral, invite her parents, look them in the eye and lie to them that Juliet wanted to make amends with them. The horrified guilt on their faces almost made it worth it, “The car she was in got t-boned when the guy ran a red light. He wasn’t as sober as we thought he was.”
“She didn’t make it.” Spencer guessed for you.
“No. She was dead before they got her out of the ambulance.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. If Juliet hadn’t…” You still couldn’t bring yourself to actually say it, “I wouldn’t have moved home, I wouldn’t have gotten back with Kyle, and I wouldn’t have Jamie. I don’t wanna tell you that something good will come out of this, because that’s a horrible thing to hear, but looking for an opportunity to find something good can’t hurt.”
“I can’t just look for something new when all i can think about is how I should have been able to help!”
“You really think I didn’t blame myself for what happened to Juliet? That every night for years after I thought I could have done something differently, and sure, I could have, but it’s not like I knew what was going to happen, and I couldn’t keep blaming myself.”
“It’s not the same, you don’t get it.” His fingers ghosted over old scars on his forearms, scars you didn’t want to think about where they came from.
“I do, Spencer. Emily was my friend too. And because she was my friend, I know she would never let you blame yourself for it. She knows you can’t save them all. All we can do is save ourselves,” you took his hand in yours, he still tensed up, “‘cuz that’s all the people we lose want us to do.”
He turned his head up from the floor and met your eyes. Once you gazed into those deep hazel irises, the tension in his hand melted away. His shoulders slumped, and he let out a deep breath, squeezing your hand like a lifeline, “Thank you.”
“Of course, Spence.”
“I’m sorry for snapping.”
“You apologize too much.” You had nearly forgotten exactly what he said to you that night in the hotel bar in Vegas all those years ago, but clearly, he hadn’t, he couldn’t, and he didn’t, because after a few moments of staring into your eyes and slowly drifting towards you in peaceful silence, he closed the gap between you both and kissed you.
Spencer Reid was kissing you.
This was happening.
Nearly two decades of being friends--
Years of being totally, ridiculously, and most importantly, cluelessly in love with each other, Spencer Reid was kissing you. You were almost so overjoyed at that moment as you started to kiss him back that you nearly forgot that your friend was dead and you were supposed to be comforting him. This wasn’t comfort, this was what Kyle did to you all those years ago.
You broke the kiss before he did something he’d regret, “Spence…”
“Oh my god,” he removed his hands from your face and shifted his entire body away from you, “I’m so sorry.” 
“No, don’t-”
“Oh my god, I’m an idiot!” He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands as his hands landed at the back of his neck, forcing his head to stare in his lap.
“No you’re not! Hey. Genius. Look at me.” He didn’t. “You’re not. You’re just in a bad place, I get it.”
“No you don’t. This time, you don’t.”
“What do you m—”
“Look, I don’t wanna kick you out but I really think you should leave.”
“Oh… yeah… sure… okay.” You slowly rose from the couch on weak knees. Whether it was from adrenaline or anxiety, you couldn’t tell.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be! Just… please, take care of yourself?” You glance around the room for your belongings, “Shower, eat something, get some rest, please. And call me if you need anything--”
“Y/N, please, just go.”
You felt tears sting your eyes as you reached for the doorknob. You turned your head just enough to look over your shoulder to say, “Goodnight, pretty boy,” before you left. You closed the door behind you and leaned against it, breathing heavily. 
           (Spencer’s POV)
Why was I kicking her out?
Why was I telling her to leave?
Why was I pushing her away?
Why did I kiss her?
Why did she push me away?
Why did she call me “pretty boy?” She never--
The pieces fell into place as they often do, all at once with the force of a car slamming into a pole at fifty miles per hour. 
“Goodnight, Pretty Boy.”
“Goodnight, Princess.”
She remembered that night.
She remembered that night when I drove her home and put her to bed and--
And I told her I had a crush on her in high school.
And I almost said I loved her.
And I almost kissed her then.
God, I wish I had. Any time would have been better than now.
          (Reader POV)
You didn’t know you could miss someone so much while they were behind just one door. You could’ve turned around right then and knocked and waited for him to be ready to talk about what just happened. About him kissing you. About you kissing back. About you stopping him. About that drunken night when you let it slip how pretty you thought he was.
You should’ve just waited.
But you couldn’t stand to be that close to him while he wanted to be as far away from you as possible.
So you ran.
You practically sprinted down the stairs and out of his building as quickly as you could, getting in your car and pulling out of the parking lot and getting the fuck away before you hurt anyone else, including yourself.
          (Spencer POV)
I couldn’t just let her walk out like that.
I had to say something.
I had to go after her.
I had to get her back.
I needed her.
But when I opened the door, it was like she had never been there. 
I leaned on my door frame staring at the staircase down the hall, wishing I had the energy to run after her, to catch her before she reached her car, to stop her from driving away, to tell her I was sorry, to beg her to please, please, come back upstairs and talk to me, but my feet were fixed to the floor and my legs were weak. I just closed my door with my back and slid down to the floor, unable to bring myself to cry anymore. I sat there for god knows how long until I found the energy to crawl over to the coffee table where I had left my phone, picked it up, and dialed a number.
          (Reader POV)
You jumped slightly at the sound of your phone ringing, you shuffled through your bag in the passenger seat, desperately trying to find it before the light turned green. Some foolish part of your mind told you it was Spencer, you wished it was Spencer, you wanted nothing more than to turn your car around and talk it all out with him, tell him you were sorry, that you loved him, that you needed him, but your heart sank when you looked at the screen and saw the number.
It was a just fucking spam call.
You threw your phone back in your seat and beat your fists against the steering wheel, groaning and wishing the fucking light would just turn green already. When it finally did, you slammed on the gas a bit too quickly, sending the car jolting forward. You barely stopped the entire rest of the ride home, the universe must have sensed your impatience. As you finally pulled into your driveway, your skull felt as though it was packed with cotton, your tear tracks drying on your cheeks.
You raced up the steps to your door, fussing with the keys and trying to unlock the door as quickly and quietly as possible. You inevitably made noise as you entered, prompting a light to turn on in the living room. Your mom rose from the couch she had been sleeping on, her face dropping from annoyed to concerned.
“Toots, you’re home already? I thought you wouldn’t be back until morning.”
You had thought that you were fresh out of tears, but apparently, you still had more to spare, seeing as you broke the second the words left her mouth.
“Oh my, what happened?” She raced towards you, wrapping you in a hug, “Is Spencer okay? Did something happen?”
As confused and sad as you were, you couldn’t stop the smile that had suddenly appeared on your face, “He kissed me.”
“He what?” She broke the hug, holding your face in her hands and wiping tears off of your cheeks, “Then honey, why on Earth are you here?”
          (Spencer POV)
“You kicked her out? Why?”
“Why do you think I called you, Jennifer? What do I do? How do I fix this?”
“Well, what exactly happened?”
“I freaked out, she came over, we talked, I,” I took a deep breath and braced myself for her reaction, “I kissed her—”
She almost choked on her coffee, “And you didn’t lead with that? Don’t you think that’s a little important?” 
“I was trying to avoid reliving it for as long as possible.”
“You’ve wanted this since high school, why wouldn’t you want to relive it?”
“She pulled away.” There was no anger or sadness behind my words. I don’t sound hurt as I recount the scene, “She took my hand, I kissed her, she stopped me.”
JJ’s hand brushed over my shoulder and I flinched away slightly.
“I apologized immediately, she wasn't mad or anything, I just…” I trailed off, unable to admit that I just couldn’t look at her anymore. I never thought I’d get tired of seeing her face, but I had needed her to leave. When she pulled away, all I could think about was the sound of Alexa Lisbon sneering at me as Kyle and his goons tied me to that goal post.
“She wanted to help me, and I know she did, but…”
“She couldn’t.” JJ finished my sentence.
I shook my head, “Not this time.”
“But now you want her to come back?”
“And I don’t know how to tell her that because I fucked up.”
“What did she say after you told her to leave? Did she just go?”
          (Reader POV)
“I told him not to feel bad and to take care of himself.” You hadn’t had time to tell him how much you wanted to kiss him but neither one of you was in the right state of mind for that. 
“Right, yeah, and did he say anything else?”
You winced at the memory of how his voice sounded. “He kept telling me to leave, so I just went for the door and said--”
          (Spencer POV)
“‘Goodnight, pretty boy,’” I grumbled, “That was the last thing she said.”
“Okay?”
“She never calls me Pretty Boy.” I told her the whole story. When I was done, her eyebrows were drawn together and lips were pressed together in a thin, worried line uttering, “Spence…”
“What?”
She sighed, saying nothing and smirking slightly to herself, but saying nothing.
“Jennifer.”
“She loves you, genius.”
“Then why’d she leave?”
“Because you told her to. And…” she hesitated, almost scared to say anything else. I was scared to hear it. JJ took my coffee away and dumped it down the sink, a silent indicator that I had enough and needed to go to bed.
She turned back to me and leaned over the table again, making sure I'd look her in the eyes, “She’d do anything for you.”
I just stared down on my hands on the table, unable to say another word, unable to defend myself, unable to fight anymore.
Because I knew she was right.
Taglist~~~
Lmk if you wanna be added! Some names didn’t work so if you don’t see your name as a tag just dm me a url and I’ll try to fix it
@lawnmoa​ @ellvswriting @baby-pogue​ @purelyprentiss​ @confused-and-really-hungry @thatsonezesty13​ @deni-gonzalez​ @irjuejjsaa @randomfandomshitposts​ @bisoner​ @moonstarrnghtsky​ @smurfflynn​ @eldahae​ @t0xicllama​ @undeniablyyou​ @staplernpaper​ @theweirdobella @sammypotato67 @k-k0129 @helloniallslovelies @dazzlingnights @uhuhuh​ @booksarekindaneat @crimeshowtrash @carlgrxmes @collectiveuniverses @annesauriol
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arumin-arureruto · 3 years
Text
Honeytea PT 2
Kyoya x fem reader and Hikaru x fem reader, Kyoya angst, Hikaru slowburn.
Warnings: none
word count: 1.7k
songs to listen to while reading:
What Am I by Why Dont We
Greek God by Conan Gray
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hikaru’s outfit:
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Reader’s outfit (your outfit can be whatever you want this is just what I had in mind while writing <3):
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Cafe Hikaru and reader are at:
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you woke up with the sun shining on your eyes, reaching out to feel the spot where your husband had been sleeping cold and empty, he had already left for work. Last night was emotionally exhausting, you had a fight with Kyoya and called Hikaru while your emotions were running high, even though you woke up feeling calmer it would still be nice to see him. You decided to get up and check your phone to see if you were still on for today, there were 6 unread messages from Hikaru.
“checking if ur okay”
“meet me tomorrow at 12pm for lunch at that cafe near my house, the one Honey got banned from”
“btw how the fuck do you manage to get banned from a restaurant for eating too much cake”
*picture of a single spoon inside a sink* “lol me”
“I should probably go to bed now goodnight”
He hasn’t changed a bit since high school, that’s what was so comforting to you about Hikaru. He took you back to a time where everything was much more simpler, lazy afternoons on the grass with the host club, drinking tea by the window in music room 3 with Kyoya, study sessions with Mori and Honey, getting into all sorts of mischief with Hikaru and Kauro, quietly reading with Haruhi, piano lessons from Tamaki…
All those memories started playing back in your mind and you started to feel all warm inside, you really didn’t know how good you had it. It’s not that you weren’t happy, you were married to the man you loved, you were one of the most respected and powerful women in society, what else could you ask for? But sometimes it felt like you were missing out on something, like your world could be so much more. When you mentioned this to Kyoya a couple months ago he suggested you try for children but you quickly shot down the idea, you were 23 and he was 24, having kids right now would be too big of a responsibility.
Shaking those thoughts from your head you checked the time on your phone, 10am. You still had 2hours before you had to meet Hikaru so going back to sleep was a tempting offer, but considering the cafe was almost 30 minutes away and you got easily distracted while getting ready it would be wiser to start picking out some clothes and getting in the shower. There was about 45 minutes before a maid was supposed to come in and clean your room so you figured that should be enough time to take a quick shower, you could just ask them to wait till you were done but you always felt awkward doing so.
After zoning out for a minute you headed for the shower, got undressed, put your hair up and turned on the hot water, you already washed your hair yesterday so there was no point in washing it again. You had always loved showers, the feeling of the warm water on your skin, the sound of the water dripping on the floor and the smell of all your products were enough to wash all your problems away. After about 25 minutes in the shower you turned the water off and stepped out, already missing the warmth of the water. After quickly drying yourself off with a towel you started massaging some lotion into your skin, first your arms and then your legs, this was your favorite part of your routine. When you felt that you had enough lotion on already you put on a robe, walked out of the bathroom and towards your walk in closet. It was september so the weather was still warm, today would be a simple dress day, or as simple as you could. Downside of being married to Kyoya Ootori: having to keep up appearances ALWAYS. After picking out a dress it was time for shoes, you gravitated towards a gorgeous pair of open toed gold heels that would’ve gone really well with your dress, but your legs were still slightly sore from last night so sandals it is.
After scrutinizing every part of your outfit and make up, which in the end you decided to go with a simple eyeliner, mascara and gloss, it was already 11:15. You grabbed your purse and asked someone to bring the car around. You hurriedly walked down the large staircase, excitement clear in your step, you got inside the car and gave a quick hello to the driver.
“Good morning Mrs Ootori, where to?”
“Morning Ryuzaki, Honeytea Cafe.”
“Understood ma’am.”
After giving your instructions you  pressed the button to lift the divider between the driver and the backseat, needing to be alone. You hadn’t seen Hikaru in person since your wedding reception, you talked on the phone occasionally but always for less than 2 minutes, this was the first time in months you would be in the same room again. Was it gonna be awkward? I mean you did call him yesterday late at night crying so what if he thought you were weird? No, no, this was Hikaru, your best friend since your first year of high school, everything was gonna be fine.
The 30 minute ride felt like it went by in less than 15, After getting to the cafe you told Ryuzaki to go back home and that you would call when you were done, since you didn’t know how long you would take. 11: 52pm, 8 minutes till you were supposed to meet Hikaru, meaning you had 8 minutes to get your act together.
You stepped into the cafe and scanned the place, 6 years and nothing had changed. Still the same old tall bookshelves lined the walls. The same paintings on the walls, and just like you remembered, peace and quiet. Since the cafe was a bit old fashioned it tended to attract an older crowd, old people just trying to enjoy their coffee and adults in their 30s that wanted a quiet place to work. While you continued to examine the room, lost in your own world, you felt a pair of slender hands on your shoulders and heard a familiar voice coming from behind you.
“Taking a trip down memory lane while blocking the way huh? Honestly y/n I thought commoners taught their children better manners.”
At first you were startled but then you quickly turned around to face the voice and there he was. Tall, mischievous smile and wild hair, Hikaru Hitachiin in the flesh. “Hikaru I-” you hugged him before you could even finish your sentence. You stood there with your arms wrapped around his neck in silence for a couple more seconds.
“y/n?”
“Yeah?”
“We’re still blocking the way.”
Oh right.
Behind you 2 old ladies stood with unpleasant expressions on their faces, you both moved out of the way to let the ladies through, they walked past you and muttered something about today’s youth having no respect for their elders. You stood there slightly embarrassed, heat rising to your cheeks while Hikaru looked like he might burst out laughing.
You decide to grab a table at the very back of the cafe, away from everyone else. After you sit down Hikaru strikes a conversation. “Haven’t seen you in a year y/n, how’s married life been treating you?” He propped up his elbow and leaned his head on his hand, keeping his eyes focused on you.
Damn so we’re already on that topic.
“We’ve had our ups and downs, what about you? How are you and Kaoru doing?” Hopefully he won't bring up your phone call from yesterday. “We’re doing pretty good, Kaoru actually started seeing someone a couple months ago. Cute boy he met at an art gallery.” You could hear the tiniest hint of jealousy in the last part, but overall Hikaru sounded happy for his brother. “Oh he did? That’s cool” you stay silent for a couple seconds before proceeding with what you were saying. “And how do you feel about Kaoru seeing someone?” Hikaru’s eyes shifted from you to the table and kept them focused there. “In the beginning it was weird, I hated the idea of having to share him with someone else but now, I see how happy he is with Evan and that’s all that matters to me.” He looked up from the table to look at you and smile, then he spoke again but this time in a more playful tone. “So are we eating or what? Man were you seriously gonna let me starve? Typical Ootori.” That comment made you laugh, you really did miss him.
You both ordered and paid separately, since you knew you would argue over who would pay the bill. After you both received your food you sat down to eat, while you ate you reminisced about the past and talked about all the trouble you used to get into back in the day.
“No no, you were the one that tricked Tamaki into dressing up as Haruhi to fool the doctors during the physical exam that one time.” He laughed and pointed at you with a piece of bread. “Whaaaaat? Me? I would never, I was just an innocent bystander” you defended yourself while also laughing, then you remembered something. “No but for real that one wasn’t my idea, actually Kyoya came up with it.” Hikaru stopped laughing but still had a smile on his face, he then asked you a question.
“So Kyoya…” There was a pause before he spoke again.
“You mentioned you have your ups and downs, I’m guessing yesterday was a down?”
The food that was in your throat had trouble going down, you tried to quickly swallow and answer Hikaru’s question. “Yesterday was definitely not one of our best days” You let out a nervous laugh. Before you could elaborate a middle aged man came up to your table and asked if he could borrow one of your chairs for his daughter, seeing that you were both already finished with your food you told him he could have the chairs and got up to leave.
As you were walking out of the coffee shop Hikaru tapped your shoulder.
“Hey my house is just a 5 minute drive from here, we could go there if you wanna talk more in private.”
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meruz · 4 years
Text
Aforementioned long ask post please excuse me while i try to figure out tumblr's new text editor. I’ll get into the art meme questions first and then the rest at the end.
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Ok first of all thank you all for sending in questions! Giving me an excuse to talk hehe. I’ll address these in number order. Here’s a link to the ask meme for reference but also I’ll restate the question for ease of reading.
1. When did you get into art?
Super cliche answer but I don’t remember a time where I WASN’T the weird art kid! I started keeping a dedicated sketchbook when I was about 12? But here’s a page from my kindergarten journal about what I want to be when I grow up.
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2. What art-related sites have you ever signed up for? 
LOL this is a weird question. Not sure why so many people want to know. Anyways I definitely had a dA. more than one dA account. I used to browse oekakis when I was a kid but I think I was only signed up to some small ones that internet friends owned. What else...? Mangabullet,Tegakie, Paintberri, iscribble back when that was a thing, instagram if that COUNTs, I used to post art on livejournal and dreamwidth too. Patreon, I guess. Gumroad, inprnt, bigcartel, storenvy all for selling stuff.
In terms of resources.. I have a schoolism account that I’m sharing with friends. Used to take classes on coursera for free. I signed up to textures.com for work recently haha. I can’t remember if I ever had an account on posemaniacs. Did they have accounts...? I definitely used to visit all the time.
3. Show us your oldest piece of art you have on hand.
Alright here’s me actually logging into my old deviantart account. These are from September 2008 So I was 13 years old. I don’t have a deviantart account from before then because 13 was the required age for having an account and I didn’t want to lie about my age because I wanted people to be impressed by how young yet clearly incredible at art I was LOL.
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4. What defines your artistic style?
You guys are probably more equipped to answer this than me but uh... I wanna say... Focus on colors. And... a slightly heavy hand? Like confident... not always well-considered mark making HAH...
Also I think I have a pretty healthy mix of american comics/manga influences. I feel like people who are into american comics always think my art is too manga and people who are into anime/manga always think my art is too american. And I’m taking that as a good sign.
5. Do you practice other styles/have you tried other styles in the past?
I like to think I switch it up a bunch! I mean, these are pretty different, right?
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I think I’ve mentioned this before but one thing I really took away from art school is that, for an illustrator at least, art style shouldn’t be consistent. Your greatest weapon is changing the aspects of your style based on the task, the emotions and message you want to illustrate etc. So depending on the project I’m working on, the fandom I’m drawing for, whether I want something to be funny or serious or dramatic, I’ll change things about my style all the time.
One thing I don’t rly post on here is really tight polished work and that’s because I do that for my day job haha. If you’re not paying me... I’m probably not gonna color in the lines.
6. What levels of artistic education have you had?
I have a whole ass diploma LOL. Bachelor of Fine Arts in Illustration. from the Rhode Island School of Design. And I had a great college experience tbh. Besides the student loans. If any of you guys are thinking about art school feel free to e-mail or message me questions or concerns, I’ll be happy to help. Be as honest as I can be.
7. Show us at least one picture you drew or sketched recently that you did not put on a public site.
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heres the wandavision kids. Uhh what else do I have...I feel like I’m rummaging for loose change here...
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assorted valentines prep doodles
8. What is your favourite piece that you have done?
Well, obviously this is gonna change all the time and generally it’s gonna be my most recent piece LOL. So yeah, why the hell not. I’ll say it’s this one. I have a pretty short memory which I count as a blessing for an artist. I don’t dwell that long on older work and it keeps me moving forward.
10. What do you like most about your art?
I like that it’s something that only I would make! I had this thought fairly recently and I wrote it down in my sketchbook, it’s pretty cheesy and rambling but it felt revolutionary at the time:
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So yeah. I like my art best when it’s the most me and for me. And I like it least when it feels like I’m just making something for social media or for other people’s expectations or whatever.
14. What do you like drawing the most?
Kids in baggy clothing are like my go-to LOL idk if that’s obvious. but also I like being challenged so lately I’ve really loved drawing multi-character compositions, environments, weird angles, etc.
oh i LOVE drawing the underside of shoes lol. And bandages. People that are kinda beat up.. I think it comes from getting a bunch of cuts all the time. I’m always patching myself up and I want to patch characters up too.
15. What do you like drawing the least?
mmm I try to find something to like in every drawing but lets see... I don’t like doing commissions of people’s dogs. Just because it’s normally like... a family friend and my mom volunteered me without my consent and I don’t even really know what they’re expecting me to draw and I don’t even get to meet the dog. Also I’m not that great at dog anatomy. Trying to learn though.
18. What is your purpose for drawing?
This could have a million answers! Uhhh to GIT GOOD??? But also to express myself... and also to make money... I mean it depends on what the drawing IS. I draw fanart mostly to connect to people in the fandom so if you ever see me drawing fanart please take it as like an open invitation to talk to me about the character haha. 
20. How would you rank your art? (poor, mediocre, good, etc.)
Good!!! I have a lot of self-confidence primarily born out of ignorance and a short attention span. If I don’t think too hard about how many other artists are mindblowingly unfathombly good... its easy to think I’m good too! LOL
In all seriousness though, I think the opinion a person has of their art is like a crazy balancing act, right? Like you have to think you suck enough to want to get better but also you have to think you’re good enough to not want to give up. I think we’re all walking that line, I know I am! But also I’m a glass half-full type of person so. Most of the time I feel good about it.
22. List at least one of your “artspirations.”
This is a good question because I’ve been trying and failing to put together one of those “influence map” memes for like a full month now. What’s giving me a hard time is I feel like none of these are actually really obvious “““influences”““ in my art? Like it’s hard to see a lot of them in the work I make...? But idk maybe you guys’ll see what I can’t.
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And these are just a couple! God there’s so many more. I could talk about other artists for ages, from all different genres of art. Daumier, Rockwell like every illustrator out there, Dana Gibson, Alex Toth, Hiroshi Yoshida, a lot of the Brandywine School. Lots of current working artists too, Karl Kerschl, frikkin Masashi Kishimoto lol, Jake Wyatt, Richie Pope, Edouard Caplain, Matt Cook, Sachin Teng, - lots of big internet artists, Sophie Li, Freddy Carrasco, Milliofish, Angela Sung... like all my friends from art school too. I could just keep going but I’ll stop for now lol.
24. Do you have a shameful art past? (recolour sprite comics, tracing art, etc.)
I mean if that’s how we’re defining shameful?? sure LOL. It’s not sprite comics but I used to do pokemon sprite recolors all the time. And I used to trace manga panels and color them... Granted this was all when I was like under 12 yrs old so it’s not even embarrassing. Can you really call it shameful when a 7 year old wets the bed or whatever? Not really. In fact some of these are cool as fuck. Look
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25. Draw a picture!
Man I’m so tired now but here.
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I used to get a lot of compliments for drawing people smiling lol but I don’t think I’ve drawn a lot of smiling lately.. here’s proof I’ve still got it.
OK MEME DONE. onto the rest.
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I read this ask first thing when i opened my computer in the morning and it made me really emotional.. I’m so glad my sketches could help you!!
I think a lot of artists on social media talk about the struggle of making art but imo not enough people talk about the joy! Like I know it’s corny but. I really meant what I said at the beginning of that sketchbook about re-contextualizing art around process and progress > product and perfection. I think its super important..! The strength of messy, unfinished, and energetic art! For the feeling of it, for the love it!
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That's crazy!!! I hope you like 'em. The whole line of x-books is really good rn imo.
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Hi! I totally have the answer for digital stuff on my faq lol. But in terms of drawing on paper.. it varies! I tend to use sketchbooking and any on-paper doodling I do as a way to loosen up/warm-up or experiment. But right now my go-to aresenal is:
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from top > bottom
- kuretake no.55 doublesided brush pen
- tombow fudenosuke
- muji 0.38 ballpoint
- medium size poscas
- grey tombow double brush pens
- good ol bic mechanical pencil
not EXACTly sure which inking you referring to from my sketchbook but if I had to take a guess it'd probably be the kuretake no55. That's been my main inker, lately. Great for sketching with the thin end too.
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You can print out and eat my art if you like. Just please don't mass produce or re-sell. <3
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Thanks! I've come to accept that my art is always gonna be sort of gestural and painty naturally. It's getting it to tighten up enough to be legible that's hard lol...
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uh yeah lol I agree actually. I think yolei is great.
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I assume these asks are related? LOL
1) Yeah totally true. I love David.
2) I don’t take requests, sorry! But if you want to commission me to draw Legion i would be MORE than happy to. Just e-mail me at [email protected].
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just2bubbly · 3 years
Text
Celebrity Crush
Masterlist
Summary
“Did Mom have a celebrity crush on Dad?“
This revolves around Kaider but from Torin's POV and Peony here refers to Kai and Cinder's child.
When Peony (gen 2) comes up with a very strange question to Torin!
Ship: Kaider
Words: 1590 words
Torin’ perspective-
"Torin-da, did Mom have a celebrity crush on Dad?" The six-year-old asked the royal advisor with wonder-waiting eyes.
The Advisor on the other hand was very much panicked, wondering how the young princess got to know about the word 'crush'. He suspected she had picked on this word from one of her visit to Carswell Thorne. He wanted to rub the fact that 'Sending his daughter to Mr Thorne was not the best decision' in Emperor Kaito's face- but he would do no such thing.
"Where did you learn the word 'crush' Peony?" he asked dodging her previous question.
"Uh-.. Actually, Uncle Thorne said that Aunt Cress had a crush on him, so I just searched what the word meant." She said avoiding eye contact, just like any child caught red-handedly stealing from the jar of cookies would do.
"I don't think you should look into words like 'crush' as the age of 6" he warned, collecting his stuff to leave.
"But Torin-da, I am about to turn 7 next month" she swore, running off to block him from leaving away.
"Well, that does not make you any older to know about the word, young lady." He said with a bit of grand-fatherly authority to his voice. Not necessarily that he was scolding the curious child; she was hardly the one being scolded because of her cute actions and sweet voice.
"Torin-da but what of my earlier question?" she asked her voice full of determination.
"Why don't you go and ask Kaito?" he suggested, obviously playing the child around. He remembered how even Kai had taken up liking to the word 'shit' when he had heard President Vargas saying it. He had pestered Torin with his questions for weeks but due to royal protocol, Torin faced his curiousness with nothing but an emotionless face. At last, he had gone to former Emperor Rikan, who had laughed at Kai and explained a few things to the young prince, years ago.
"Torin-da!" she shouted in his face to get his attention, "Did Mommy have a celebrity crush on Dad?" she continued.
"Why do you think that?" he cross-questioned the little princess who was set on a mission to know if Cinder had a crush on Kai.
"Well, you see Mommy was a mechanic before she became the Queen and Dad- well he was THE PRINCE, so he was a celebrity" she explained slowly as if explaining two plus two equals four to a child. Even though little Peony looked like Cinder, she had taken after Kai in all ways possible. She had picked up her parent's sarcasm like she would not. However, her speaking style, her small conquests in the Palace reminded Torin too much of little Kai.
"Your Mommy was the Princess of Luna too, Peony. Why would she have a crush on Kai?"
She stared at him with a look of confusion upon that remark, another one of Kai's speciality again. After what felt like a few minutes of silence, she blamed, "Torin-da you are fooling me around. I can see through it. Tell me did Mom have a celebrity crush on Dad? "
He sighed realizing that it was going to be one interesting afternoon with little Peony. Hence, he decided to keep his work aside for some time and sat down with the little child on the nearby sofa.
"You see Peony darling, I think it was the other way around." He stated.
"Meaning?" she asked, her curiosity perked up, now that Torin was giving her his full attention.
"I mean that Daddy had a celebrity crush on Mommy!" he exclaimed to the very confused child.
"Really?" she asked with her eyes full of doubt, she was only believing it because the royal advisor was saying things.
"Yeah," he said with the same wondrous tone as that of the six- soon-to-be seven-year-old.
"You are saying that Mommy was Daddy's celebrity crush growing up?" she asked to confirm with her wide brown eyes.
Torin nodded. He waited to continue till she had digested this new piece of information.
"Actually Kai idolized your Mom for some amount of time and he was so in love with her." He said, wondering if Peony was interested to hear about her parents or for that matter, her parent's love life or was he over-stepping some of his boundaries-
"Continue Torin-da! And what do you mean by idolizing?" she crowed, cutting short his train of thought.
"Idolize means someone who they want to be like-as in worship or admiring Peony" he explained to the child who had yet time to master the vast oceans of the English language.
This unknown information seemed to increase her curiosity ten folds. The little child had no idea how Kai had a crush the size of Luna on the young princess Selene and later on mechanic Cinder, who turned out to be the same person. He internally smiled- wondering what a calamity it would have been if Selene and Cinder would not be the same person!
She subtly asked, "But why would The Emperor idolize a mechanic?"
"Peony," he said somewhat scolding the child, "all jobs are important, just because the emperor is famous does not mean that the mechanic is not an important part of the society. Your mother was the best one in the entire New Beijing. I am not sure but I think she is yet the Best Mechanic in the city."
"Sorry", she muttered under her breath while he continued with his narration. The six-year-old had no idea what her parents had gone through. They had yet decided against telling her about their hardships, so he decided to keep the descriptions at the minimum.
"Your Mom was a Hero for the world. You might not know it, but she saved the world even while being a mechanic- She was brave. Your Dad liked her for that, he admired her bravery. Later, when your mom was fighting against evil, your dad could not help her but that did not stop him from thinking of her every single second."
"Torin-da, are you saying Dad liked Mom before her?" she asked now seeing the entire scenario in an entirely different light.
"I guess yes." He confirmed, smilingly at the little child's innocence to understanding her parent's life.
"As far as I remember, Kai was completely blinded by his love for the scrawny mechanic he had seen in a garage, which would be your Mom, Peony"
"Did he talk about Mom to you, when she was being a hero?" she blurted.
"Not exactly, he just thought about her. I was not very fond of your Mom back then." He confessed.
"Why? Mom is so lovely!" she exclaimed, already defending The Empress.
"We had different thoughts and I did not know her back then but it would be a story for another day, Peony."
She nodded, obviously not liking things being kept hidden from her. She was a born seeker for information- especially her parents. Why everyone adored them was much of a mystery to her until recently!
"Torin-da, I want to confirm so Dad liked Mom as a mechanic and not as a Lunar Queen?" she asked.
"Absolutely! He had that-"
"Celebrity crush!" she provided, clapping her hands.
Laughing at the child's antics, he said, "Yeah, your Dad had a 'Celebrity crush' on Mom."
"I am going to tell Mom this- Bye Torin-da!" She said running off to find Cinder. Peony looked like someone who had just learned a dear secret and was about to break it off to their best friend. She had no idea how her mom already knew that. The Emperor might still have a celebrity crush on his wife, he will never know.
Collecting his things, he was ready to walk out of the chamber. Until, the Emperor walked on him, a look of amusement on his face.
"Torin, "
"Your Majesty-" he said out of habit, doubting that Kai might have heard the entire conversation between the two.
"-I had a celebrity crush on Cinder?"
"Oh! Please Kaito, the child insisted to know the truth. Besides you do have a crush on Cinder."
"Stop telling my daughter that, Torin," he said, the tip of his ears slightly turning red.
"Well Peony might have guessed it sooner rather than later, Your Majesty-' he said, grinning at the Emperor.
"And if I were you I would stop her before she goes to The Empress," he advised.
"There's nothing to hide about what Cinder already knows of. However, if she comes to me lecturing about morals and values that Peony should learn, I am definitely sending her to you, Torin"
It was another interesting afternoon for the royal advisor with his new student. Only God knew how many more were to come yet!
__
A/N: This was not actually Kaider fluff but Kaider fluff at the same time and I also wanted to write something from Torin's perspective so here's my take. I think it turned out pretty good. I had to actually ask my cousin if he knew meanings of words like 'admire' or 'idolize' to figure out if Peony would know them. Torin-da was supposed to mean like ‘dada’ used in the sense of grandfather in many Asian countries. Phew! things I have to do for imagining things!
Be sure to like, reblog and comment, if you like it!
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leossmoonn · 4 years
Text
mind games [part nine]
masterlist | part eight | part ten
zuko x fem!reader fluff, angst smau (it has the social media elements, but not as much as the last series)
avatar: the last airbender
summary - being zuko’s best friend is the easiest thing in the world. until he gets a girlfriend and you realize you’re in love with him
warnings / includes  (this counts for any/all chapters) - fighting, suggestive, language, crying, alcohol, cheating, talk about injuries, making out, alluding to sex, talks about sex. you are sokka and katara’s older sister. you, mai, and zuko are seniors in college, sokka and suki are juniors, katara, aang, and toph are sophomores.
————
“hi, what can i get for you today?” you smiled. 
“i’d like a sticky bun and green tea, please,” your customer, who was a middle-aged woman, ordered.
you wrote down on your notepad, reaching down to grab her menu. “alright, coming right up.”
you walked back to behind the counter, getting out a sticky bun from the display case and warming up some water. as you waited, the doors to the JD opened. a familiar smell wafted through the restaurant and you couldn’t help but turn you head. a smile coming onto your face as you saw jet standing in the entrance, carrying a bouquet of flowers. 
“jet! what’re you doing here?” you asked, pouring hot water into a cup and placing tea leaves. 
“a boyfriend can’t come and surprise his girlfriend with flowers at her job?” jet grinned, holding the flowers out to you. 
“i gotta get this order out, then i’ll be with you, okay?” you said. you picked up the cup and plate, but katara snatched them out of your hand. 
“i got this, y/n. you go say hi to your boyfriend,” she grinned, taking over the food. 
you chuckled and went over to jet. “let’s go and sit down.”
he followed you to a corner booth, sitting very close to you once you got settled. 
“so, what brings you here today?” you asked. 
“today is our 3 month anniversary, so i just wanted to surprise you,” jet explained.
your eyes widened, “oh, god… is today our 3 months?”
jet furrowed his brows. “yeah… i-”
you started to laugh, cutting him off. he frowned, more confusion written on his face. 
“what-why are you laughing?” he asked. you smirked, putting your hand on his. 
“because your face was priceless!” you giggled. “oh, so you didn’t forget?” he asked. 
you shook your head and leaned into him. “of course not. i would never forget, baby.”
“oh, good. i mean, it would be fine if you did, i know you’re busy,” jet shrugged. 
“i’m never too busy for you,” you grinned, closing the gap between you two.
you kissed him with desire and passion, your hand dropping down from his hand to his thigh. he smiled into the kiss, snaking his hand on your hip, gripping you through your apron and jeans. 
“mmm, we have to stop,” you breathed out as you pulled away. 
“we’ll do more tonight,” jet grinned. “ooh, what’s the plan?” you asked. 
“i am taking you out,” he said. “wow, what a man,” you poked his arm teasingly. 
“you know me. i like to treat you,” he winked. 
“mhm, and you do it well,” you giggled, leaning in to give him another kiss. 
“y/n, you have to get back to work,” zuko’s voice sounded in front of you.
you pulled away immediately, your face going red. 
“sorry,” you chuckled. “when shall i get ready?” you turned back to jet. 
“whenever your shift is done. i’ll be picking you up at 6,” he answered. 
“sounds good. thank you so much for the flowers and the visit. i can’t wait to see you tonight,” you smiled, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
“you, too,” he smiled, getting up out of the seat. “nice seeing you, zuko,” jet said as he walked past. 
“yeah, you, too,” zuko nodded, still looking at you.
you stood up, adjusting your clothes and grabbing the bouquet. 
“what’s got your undies in a twist?” you asked zuko. “nothing,” he shrugged. 
“oh, c’mon, we just made up a week ago. don’t shut me out now,” you pouted. 
zuko couldn’t help but smile at your puppy dog face. “it’s just that mai has never visited me at work or anything.”
you frowned. “oh… well, do you want a flower?” you asked and plucked one out from your bouquet. 
“ah, no thanks. these are yours.” zuko said. “go ahead and take it. you deserve something nice, even if it’s not from your girlfriend,” you smiled. 
you held out the flower and zuko took it slowly. 
“thanks, y/n. mai could learn a thing or two from you,” zuko joked. 
“well, she doesn’t really seem like the affectionate type,” you snorted. 
“yeah,” zuko sighed. “well, don’t fear. just keep giving her love and eventually, hopefully, she’ll give you it back,” you smiled.
“hopefully,” zuko gave you a small smile. 
————
“where you two going?” toph asked. 
“i have no idea. somewhere nice, i assume,” you shrugged, putting in hoop earrings. 
“are you two gonna have sex?” suki asked. you scoffed, “i’m not answering that.”
“so, yes?” she giggled. “no-maybe? i don’t know,” you shrugged. 
“have you two slept with each other yet?” katara asked. 
“no,” you shook your head. “not even oral? damn, you two are missing out,” toph laughed. 
your eyes widened. “we have done oral! just not like, intercourse. ugh, this is such a weird conversation.”
“it’s not! we’re your girlfriends, you’re supposed to tell us everything,” katara said. 
“not everything,” you muttered. you stepped away fro the mirror, checking yourself out before you left. 
“he’s definitely gonna wanna smash you in that,” suki smirked. 
“i hate you all,” you grumbled. 
“we love you, too,” toph grinned. 
you couldn’t help but smile. you heard a knock at the door and you went to walk out of your room. 
“have fun!” katara called out. “will do. thanks, guys,” you smiled back at them before walking down the stairs. 
you opened the door, grinning brightly as you saw jet at the door with a polar dog plushie and a red, velvet box. he was wearing a purple dress shirt with black slacks, a dark purple bow tie around his neck. he looked very different than usual. Still handsome, just more classy. 
“hello, sexy,” you smirked. “i should be saying that to you. you look gorgeous,” he eyed your body that was in a tight-fitting, blue dress and black heels. 
“thank you. i try,” you shrugged shamelessly. “and you never fail to impress. are you ready to go?” he asked. 
“yep,” you nodded, stepping out of the house and locking the door behind you.
you walked to his car, jet opening the door for you. you stepped in, thanking him as he shut the door. he then went over to his side and once he got settled in, he went to give you your gifts.
“thank you for the plushie,” you smiled as you hugged it. 
“you’re welcome. it’s not just a regular stuffed animal, though. you can heat it up or freeze it to help with muscle aches or your period cramps,” jet explained. 
your eyes widened, “woah, wait. seriously? oh, my god. this is so cool! i love you so much.”
jet’s eyes flew wide open. “w-what did you say?” 
you furrowed your brows, “i said it’s really cool and… oh. i-i said i love you.”
jet gulped visibly. “d-do you mean it?” you smiled at him, intertwining your fingers with his. 
“of course i do,” you cooed. “i’ve just never said it until now. you don’t have to say back if you’re not ready, though. it just kinda came to me naturally, i guess.”
jet shook his head furiously. “no, no. i-i am ready. i was actually planning on saying it after the home-cooked meal i made.”
“you cooked for me?” you awed. “well, yeah, i know how much you love my meals,” he smiled.
“hm, i do. you know me so well,” you poked. 
jet chuckled, “of course i do. and i love you. so, so much.”
“hm, i’m glad,” you giggled. “here’s my gift to you.” you pulled out a few boxes from your purse. 
“oh, you shouldn’t have,” jet said. “oh, please. you would have definitely cried if i didn't give you a gift,” you scoffed, handing the boxes to him. 
jet chuckled as he opened the bigger one. he held up a jersey that you had gotten custom-made for him. 
“i-is this…. my number?” he asked, looking at the back and seeing his basketball number and last name. 
“yep,” you smiled. “i know a few of your friends have their jersey’s still and you don’t have yours anymore, so i decided to make one for you. i know how much you loved playing basketball in high school and i know how much you loved the jersey.”
“i do. thank you so much. this is definitely going up on my wall,” he smiled big, leaning into kiss you on the cheek. 
“you’re welcome. open the other one. this one is more of like an our-gift thing,” you explained. “be careful, it’s fragile, too.”
he nodded, opening the package gently. he smiled as he saw a collage of photos from your first date to your last date a few weeks ago. 
“this is really cute,” he gushed, looking at the 20 photos of you. 
“i think so, too. i made myself one also. it’s hanging up in my room,” you chuckled.
“i’ll make sure to hang these up on my wall high and proud,” he said. 
“good. so, i saw you have a box for me, too?” you asked. 
“yes, yes,” he smiled. he handed you it. 
you opened it excitedly, seeing that he had bought you charm bracelet and matching anklet. 
“these are so cute, thank you,” you smiled. “help me put these on?”
jet nodded and took out the bracelet, clipping it to your wrist. he then took the anklet, reaching down. his fingers skimmed the bare skin on your legs, making your whole body light on fire. you eyed him carefully as he clipped the piece of jewellery around your ankle. after he clipped the anklet, he stayed in this position, his eyes snaking up to you. 
butterflies overwhelmed your stomach as he licked his lips seductively. the action caused you to have a full-body shiver.
“jet, we should go to your apartment,” you suggested. 
“we should. are you hungry?” he asked, sitting back again. 
“very,” you said. “me, too,” his eyes went dark. 
you smiled bashfully and turned your head away, looking to your feet. jet drove you to his place, his hand resting on your thigh the whole ride, slowly going up with each passing second. 
you wiggled in your seat. feeling the warmth grow under your dress. you felt like you knew what was going to happen to night. your heart started to race with just thinking about it. it wasn’t like it was your first time, but it would be your first time with jet. despite all the nerves you were feeling, you were excited to see where this night would take you. you trusted jet immensely and was ready to consent to whatever was going to happen. 
the sexual tension in the car grew so thick, by the time you got your foot in his house, jet smashed his lips onto yours. you moaned quietly in surprise, your arms wrapping around his neck. you entangled your fingers into his hair, kissing him roughly. 
jet kicked the door closed and locked in quickly, then walking you backwards inside. 
“do you want to eat real food or go upstairs?” jet pulled away. 
you looked into his eyes, your pupils wide and full of lust. “upstairs.”
jet smirked and put his hands under your thighs, lifting you up quickly. you yelped and giggled, pressing your lips to his in a slow, but eager kiss. he walked you two upstairs, going into his room. he threw you on the bed smoothly, looking down at you with hungry eyes and wet lips. he started to unbutton his shirt and you took your heels off. 
you laid on your back, ready for jet to climb on the bed. he took his shirt off, your eyes roaming around his chiseled chest. he climbed on the bed, approaching you like a predator. you couldn’t help but smile as he went in between your legs, his left hand setting next to your head to support himself and his right hand setting on your waist. 
he lowered himself down and kissed you sweetly, his lips peppering kisses down from your lips to your neck. 
“jet,” you hummed, your hands pulling at his hair on the nape of his neck. 
he sucked on your sweet spot, smelling your perfume. the hand that was on your waist trailed down to your thigh, his fingers slipping up your dress. 
“is this okay?” he muttered into your neck. 
“mmhm, keep going,” you moaned, moving your hips so he would be able to touch you quicker. 
“eager,” he smirked, trailing down to your collar bone. 
you hummed in reply, your hands leaving his neck and going down to the back of your dress, unzipping it. jet went to help you, his eyes admiring your body as you slipped off your dress. you smiled and unclipped your bra, dropping it to the ground. 
“before we uh, continue. i wasn't sure if you picked up on this, but i was hoping, well, wondering if you wanted to take the next step. not just emotionally, but physically, too,” he suggested, looking deep into your eyes. 
you smiled at him, your fingernails running up and down against his back. 
“i know, i picked up on some of the clues. and i was thinking on the drive a lot and i want to advance this, too. so i’m ready if you are,” you answered. 
jet smiled widely. “i love you.”
you smirked, “why don’t you show me instead of telling?”
jet’s smile turned into a teasing smirk. “say no more.”
————
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note - hot and heavy lol
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shyrose57 · 3 years
Note
Brothers anon. Sorry about the previous ask I get nervous easy and feel like I need to check im not annoying anyone at times. If I am ever annoying you though or you want me to do anything though please tell me!
Watson is close to everyone from the group, because he's seen as the dad figure and an easy person to talk too. Besides from that Jackie and Grievous are close and often train or play games together, and Jackie and Ran are close, they don't do much expect just hang out and since their both the youngest that helps them feel a bit closer. Ran and Grievous aren't really close, though Grievous wants to make attempts to become closer to Ran, potentially by inviting him to training sessions or game nights.
The other fighters from the Pit are still around! They mostly aren't around the Pit as they have jobs and other stuff to take care off, but they try to vist often. Like Genevieve and Levi come over on a regular basis to train with them all and just hang out. And sometimes Genevieve and Levi participate in the Pit's fights just for fun.
He was kept in a room in Mizu. The room was reminiscent of a jail cell, with no glass in it, and a door that required a key to be opened, he wasn't completely chained down but they did put cuffs on his wrists to prevent him from moving around to much. Benjamin honestly just kind of felt like something was off, because most people don't commit mass murder without a reason and he couldn't find a reason for Ranbob doing it. And he has reported multiple times (along with the others) feeling a strange weightless feeling near dreams room, almost like their getting sucked into a void, while also hearing a distant voice in their head calling them to come closer. When everyone said they heard the voice, with Ranbob even saying from where he was that he heard the voice but much clearer, and sometimes he feels like he doesn't control what he's doing. Benjamin and Isaac decided to block off the room and nearby rooms and made it a rule that if anyone heard the voice or felt like that to report it to them and where they felt it so ot could be blocked off.
Because Ranbob said he heard the voice too Benjamin started thinking that maybe Ranbob wasn't in control and there's something deeper going on. They specifically figure out its the mask when Charles finds it and brings it up to the group, where reports of the voices and feeling come back ten-fold, and even Ranbob who was starting to show progress and become a bit more willing to talk harshly backtracked to where he almost tried to attack anyone who came into the room. So Charles quickly puts it back as far from the group as possible, with Cletus following him to make sure he actually puts it back. Later they talk about destroying it but the question of what will happen to the possession on it stops them, as what if when they break it, the possession type thing (its not actually a possession I just forget the word oop), moves onto another object? Maybe even connect to them or Ranbob?
Ranbob does learn how to sew! Charles helps him learn actually and it helps the two get close! Cletus and Isaac are forbin as of now to return to Mizu, there are talks about going back later in time but for now everyone agreed it'd be best to hang back and avoid Mizu no matter what.
Life in the house is very hard to adjust to at first for Ranbob especially, its mostly awkward and learning boundaries. But after a few weeks to months living with the fishermen Ranbob becomes much more comfortable to open up a lot. Closest to Ranbob is definitely both Benjamin and Charles, as Benjamin is the one who recognized what was happening to Ranbob and Charles is the one who he spends most time with (mostly teaching Ranbob random skills).
Even after the fight ends Ran is still incredibly mad, and when Ranbob is so much as mentioned he growls and gets more aggravated. The fishermen are mostly surprised, Ranbob did mention there was a survivor that he remembers almost killing before they escaped, but because it seemed like a sensitive topic they never pressed him to tell them more. They never would've expected the survivor was his brother though. And the gladiators are completely surprised, expect Watson, Ran told Watson his past about Mizu and his brother (because I like to think Ran has night terrors due to Mizu and Watson is often the one to comfort him). Its only once Ranbob gets taken off to the medical bay and Ran goes to blow off steam in the training area the two sides talk. Where what they've been told is shared and connections and understandings are made. And they all manage to agree to try to get the brothers at least on talking terms, so they can talk about what happened and at least attempt to fix their relationship.
They are not! Other enderman hybrids do exist but their very rare due to complexity with passing the enderman genes. Though Ran and Ranbob did have a family of 6 they where apart of (the 2 other siblings where younger than them) but not every member had enderman genes.
They do notice how Jackie looks similar to Tubbo but they mostly just brush it off, as if Cletus takes off his head gear he looks like Quackity and of course Ranbob looks like Ranboo with the mix of black and white skin.
Hey, don’t worry about it, seriously. I do the same thing with people, so I kinda get it. I really do enjoy reading these, so really, I should be thanking you for sending them!
The bonds between everyone sound interesting. So Watson’s just generally the dad friend? How does he feel about that? Has he just unironically adopted all these dorks? Is it something of an inside joke? Jackie and Grievous sound like quite the combination. Honestly I can imagine these two either being very chill, or very chaotic, depending on the day. Ran and Jackie just hanging out sounds neat, what do they do together? Do they play games like Jackie does with Grievous, or do they just nap and cloud-watch, or something similar? And Grievous trying to bond with Ran sounds nice, how does that work out for him? Do they find some sort of activity that brings them closer?
I saw you mentioned Ran and Jackie were the youngest, which brings up two things. One, does the height difference remain? I’ve seen a lot of art depicting it as such, and honestly, the thought of some new fighters being tossed into a fight with these two, and A, seeing this short kid next to this ridiculously tall guy, and B, their expressions when being told Ran’s not an adult is very amusing to me. 
And two, what exactly is the age limit for going into the Pit? It’s probably not incredibly young, but how old are Jackie and Ran to be stated as the youngest? In their early teens? Late? Older? What kind of rules are there in the fights, no deaths aside?
The other fighters still being around is pretty cool, how do they get along with the gladiators? I imagine fairly well, since you’ve said they hang out, but are they close with anyone is particular? And what exactly is the Pit, besides a tournament? Do people fight for money in there? Do they just fight to fight? Is it open to a lot of people?
So the fisherman hung around Mizu and talked to Ranbob? It must have been strange, seeing the change in their would-be murderer. It does bring up the question of how in control Ranbob was when he first met them. Was he relatively himself at the start, and only begin to fall more under Dream’s thrall later, or was he under it from the start? And how do the fishermen feel about this? 
Actually, how young even is Ranbob? I believe you mentioned him to be Ran’s older(?) brother, but as previously said, Ran’s among the youngest of the gladiators, so how much older is Ranbob?  How old was he when he was led to kill the residents of Mizu?
I believe the word you’re looking for is possibly spirit? I’m assuming? And yeah, pretty smart of them to get away from it. Do they ever end up dealing with that in the future, or is it a ‘let’s just agree to never go near that thing again.’ kinda deal?
Charles and Ranbob bonding! Very nice! What other skills does Charles have, and where’d he learn them? Actually, what’s the general backstory for the fishermen? Is it anything that could tie in later, or no?
But that adjustment period can’t be easy. As we saw, the fishermens’ house was pretty small, and for Ranbob, to go from literally being the only person there in a huge city, to such an arrangement, well. It can’t have been easy. How did it affect him, and how did the fishermen deal with it?
In relation, how did Ran deal with going from Mizu to outside it? I imagine the lifestyle was a bit different from what he was used to.
So the relationship isn’t so easily fixed, hm? Y’know, all things considered, that’s pretty fair. How do the two groups get along, once they’ve decided to get the two brothers back together? And what kind of plan do they come up with? Perhaps deciding to travel together? Or maybe stick around and fight more? How does that work out for them? 
How does Ran feel about the brother that almost killed him being around his new family? And how does Ranbob feel about finding him again? Did he even think he was still kicking, or believe him to be dead?
So Endermen hybrids aren’t that common huh? Does that happen to be why Porkius was so interested in them? And are any of the fishermen or gladiators hybrids as well? Philza’s often shown with wings, and honestly, I’m curious to know if your AU’s Watson is a similar hybrid, or otherwise. 
Also, how do the gladiators fight? Are there double battles and team ups? Is there anyone they fight better with? What’s their general strategy? 
And how does Porkius feel about these new developments? Does he know? Help out, or let them sort it themselves? What’s going on with our resident king?
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nanasarea · 4 years
Text
Park Jisung as your idol bf
Genre: fluff
Pairing: jisung x idol!reader
Requested
Word count:1757 (dear lord, the longest in the idol bf series damn...) 
a/n: this is more of a jisung as your bf in general, not so much the idol aspect sorry. Also yes, i ended up writing about jisung having a baby, sue me, I’m in jisung hours now! also do i even need to say it’s not proofread at this point?
Haechan /  Yuta / Mark / Jeno / Jaemin / Chenle / Renjun / Jaehyun
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you were in the same dance class when you were younger
so you were friends way before either of your debuts
like when you knew each other when he was an smrookie
and of course, both of you being talented dancers
you were both training under companies at a rather young age
and it isn’t easy being a trainee regardless of your age
but because you were both still in school
and so young
you knew you should stick together
let’s say you had chemistry homework
but you also had vocal lessons
i’m not saying he would help you
because he wouldn’t
but he would be there to motivate you 
and study his own school work 
so you weren’t alone
it’s safe to say you were each other’s motivation when it came to school
he would also insist on his mom picking you up from school and driving you to the company when your mom couldn’t
same would go reversed
not that either of your moms minded
they found it adorable
and they shipped you both anyway so
that means him and his family coming over for dinner 
and you and yours going to theirs for dinner
and your moms would document all of your childhood memories
they would bond over it
since you didn’t have time to make any friends in school, 
you both valued your friendship a lot
he ended up debuting before you
and you teased him a lot
until he “taught” you how to ride a hoverboard
and you ended up falling in the first 4 seconds
then he would tease you
and you’d now understand how hard his dances really were
you met most of his members when they were smrookies
but you didn’t know renjun and chenle that well
so whenever you could, 
you would hang out with each other
and become very close
which is why they were all so supportive when you ran into their dorms and yelled that you were debuting 
you end up having a little celebration
when you actually did debut, 
they were so hyped
especially jisung
he streamed your mv so many times
he knew every detail of every scene in the mv
which was adorable
the fans knew you were childhood friends so they absolutely loved your interactions
which meant your company/companies being like 
WE COULD MAKE MONEY FROM THAT
so they make sure you have a collab stage 
like really early in your debut
and it was kinda awkward
but because you knew each other beforehand
you felt completely fine
at this point, your moms were betting on when you’d start dating
to which you would both just blush and tell them to stop
you end up going on so many variety shows together
mainly dance specials
and everyone finds you too adorable
like everyone ships it
but they’re kinda lowkey about it because they don’t want to make you uncomfortable 
not the case of his members tho
or yours
you can’t tell me jaemin’s hiatus wasn’t just him laying in bed, resting and planning your wedding
you can’t
taeyong ends up asking him why he hasn’t asked you out yet
he just blushes
it wasn’t until you were both a bit older
and you were at an award ceremony
where everyone was complimenting you
like your dress, makeup, hair, etc
that he realized he liked you
seeing you like that and realizing he needs to stop looking at you as his little childhood friend
and start looking at you as an adult
or somewhat of an adult
he can never look at you as an adult
because he would always have the image of you
with 6 empty chocolate milks around you
and a gummy worm hanging from your mouth
as you tried your best to color the coloring book correctly
but hey, you were always going to have the imagine of him
hanging from monkey bars
after he finished his 5th scoop of ice cream 
and laughing because he overheard someone say a fart joke
ANYWAY
he starts seeing you as an adult
kinda
and he gets slightly jealous when everyone compliments you
so after that, he goes to taeyong and jaehyun
and asks for dating advice
jaehyun just yells 
“wooooo! you should know my usual boba order by now, right, lee?”
These fuckers bet on how long it would take for jisung to realize his feelings 
and jaehyun would regrets only asking for a free boba when he won
but he’s way too happy about winning to care
it ends with half of 127 and half of dreamies giving advice, 
the other halves teasing
and wayv cooing on the phone as they were in china at the time
it takes him like 5 months till he confesses
he’s a nervous baby let him be
and when he does get the courage, 
he takes you to an amusement park
you don’t go on any of the rides
because he’s scared
but you do play the games and eat food
you even watch the fireworks
which is when he finally holds your hand for the first time
you did a lot of skinship before
like when you were friends
but it wasn’t like this 
it was cute
he was so nervous
your palms were both sweaty from nervousness
but neither of you cared
you were just happy to enjoy the moment
 that got cheesy
he even walked you to your dorm 
like to right in front of your door
which is when he hesitantly gave you a kiss on the cheek 
but you wanted a real kiss so you gave him a proper kiss
and he ended up almost tripping on his way to the elevator
where he smiled to himself
and tried to calm himself down
so the members wouldn’t see him like this
but they did
they teased him
and just yelled with him
“our baby had his first kiss!” -jaemin
“life is going way too fast! weren’t you like 3 years old yesterday?!”- jeno
“how come he’s 2 years younger and already getting more action than me?!” -renjun
the others find out 
and tease him
mostly they just congratulate him tho
“wooo! our baby is becoming a man!” -taeyong
“doyoung, hold me, i’m emotional!” -johnny 
“when’s the wedding?” -taeil
“wedding? i always cry at weddings...” -jungwoo
“no weddings! yet!” -kun
“yeah! he’s not getting married before me!” -jaehyun
they might have gone a bit overboard
but can you blame them 
it’s their baby we’re talking abt
they still see him as the little toddler from when he was on mickey mouse club
also you end up not telling your parents right away
and they keep match making
so you end up being like
“Mom, we’re already dating, you can stop”
cue both of your moms get excited
like they’re already talking about being the best grandmas
and having the cutest grandchildren
even tho you’ve only been together for 2 months
something tells me he’d be the type to want to have matching everything
phone cases
(probably anna and kristoff ones)
then profile pictures
jewelry
clothing
anything and everything
he’d find it so cute
speaking of matching profile pics
the fans would realize what was going on 
when you would match your pfps
so your company/companies were like
yes, they’re dating, no one is surprised...anyway 127 comeback 
your dating announcement is like super chill
mainly because everyone was waiting for it 
also i feel like he’d always be playing with your hair 
and fixing it
like all the time
a single hair out of place?
we can’t have that!
his hands are in your hair already
would text you for advice while filming chenji’s this and that
and would always make something for you too
“chenle’s turned out more aesthetic but mine is made with love, so mine is better my default.” 
also it wouldn’t matter if you’re older than him, the same age, younger than him
doesn’t matter
would want to hear you call him oppa
but immediately get shy after
also he’s an aquarius
so if you end up getting really random texts during the day
like during your schedules
don’t be surprised
like he’s already maknae on top
so he will rebel to like some of the things you say
“jisung! we need to get back to filming in 3 minutes!”
“but weeee!” -jisung going down the slide for the 5th time 
cries when you joke about leaving him there
speaking of crying, 
we all know he’s emotional
and cries easily
so he just runs to you whenever he wants to cry
and just placed his head on your shoulder
to hide his facial expression
but it’s okay
you’ve already seen everything from the random snaps you get every day
he might not know how to comfort you at first
but he will learn
and he’s pretty mature for his age 
so he would take comforting you very seriously
he’s a really good listener 
so he would love to just hear you vent to him
it would kinda boost his ego a bit too
like he’s the one who you’re venting to
yknow what i mean?
but also he protects you very well
you get scared of a spider 
he goes all manly mode 
and gets rid of it for you
doesn’t like to admit it, 
but he thinks about you a lot
and your future
like once you two grow out of your idol lives 
and into a more adult life
where you get married
and have kids
kids who tease their uncles (aka nct members)
because THE maknae on top was their teacher after all
speaking of weddings
his older brother got married
and obviously you were his date
and everyone kept looking at you two
asking when it was your turn
your mom said “hopefully soon”
“mom, we don’t have time, we have busy schedules”
“but one day...”
time jump to when the news breaks about your engagement 
and everyone is crying
they watched you both grow up and now you’re getting married??
what???
the announcement was everywhere
also you don’t announce anything about a child
one day, you just both post a picture of your daughter
with a caption like
“she’s so cute, i knew my genes were good.”
or something like that
and everyone goes wild
nation’s babies having a baby?
legend says chenle’s screaming caused 2 earthquakes that day
to sum it up: nation’s babies turned nation’s it couple because jisung is the best boyfriend you could ever have asked for 
.....i might have gone way more invested than i thought i was going to. Do i regret it tho? hell no. Am i emotional now because I pictured adult Jisung with a baby? hell yes.
tag list: @soleilchannie​
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hurricanery · 4 years
Text
If You Went Away - pt. 1
A/N: This story is going to be multiple parts. Inspired by this prompt, this prompt & a couple other prompts requesting Amelink fighting & Scout kind of wrapped up in the middle of it. I’m getting a lot of requests for angst and I’m down with writing angst soooo here we go- I put my own twist on it for the purpose of making it multiple chapters and it kinda ended up more depressing than I intended yikesssss. But also, I promise it gets better/more positive. I made Scout a little older in this story (age 5).
_______
Listen here, listen close
You’re the one I love the most
And if you went away
I don’t know what I’d do
_______
(one year ago)
“You should go,” Amelia mumbles, as she lays in bed, facing Link.
Link raises his eyebrows, frowning slightly. “I don’t understand,” he speaks slowly. “What changed?”
Amelia furrows her brows, perplexed. “Well nothing changed, technically, I-”
“When I was first offered this job….before Scout was even born,” Link interrupts. “We decided, together, that there were more important things in our lives.”
“Yeah….” Amelia draws out her response. “And I agreed with you then, I guess. But,” she pauses, reaching over to give Link’s bicep a squeeze. “They offered it again. I….just feel like when an opportunity presents itself more than once….there’s more to consider. It has to mean something, right?”
Link just looks at her blankly. There’s a brief silence before Amelia speaks again.
“It’s the Seattle Mariners,” she smiles encouragingly, “It’s your dream job.”
Link nods in agreement. And Amelia tries to ignore what that does to her. Because, even though she’s being encouraging, she knows what underlying feelings are truly there. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, it’s her own guilt that’s causing her to feign encouragement right now. Her own guilt and fear that she’s trapped him here, in this relationship. In this city. In this job. That when she got pregnant in the first place, she’d rushed them into things and forced a relationship. Forced a lifestyle.
She quickly tries to shake her thoughts. Thinking of anything that will make her feel better about this. Anything that will feel like compromise. “It’s only temporary,” she decides. “It’s not like you’ll be gone forever.”
“Right,” Link agrees, reaching forward to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Amelia’s ear. “Temporary.”
_______
(6 months ago)
‘It’s not like you’ll be gone forever’
Amelia chuckles bitterly at the memory as she walks from her ER consult. It had been 6 months and Link was still away from them, completely consumed by his travel schedule as the Mariners’ team surgeon. He’d come home about once a month, on a weekend, and spend as much time with Amelia and Scout as he could. But, it never felt like enough. Both parents couldn’t ignore the way Scout’s face would fall each Sunday night. When the weekend would close in on them and the knowledge of Link’s early flight out the next day would settle in.
The weekends become less and less. Link’s time allotted to return home becomes more scarce as unforeseen injuries happen on the team. They both know the effect it’s having on Scout.
“Hey, Amelia!” Maggie’s voice interrupts her thoughts as she walks into the attending’s lounge. “I was just going to grab lunch, wanna join me?”
“I’m supposed to FaceTime with Link in a minute, actually…” She trails off as a text message comes in from Link, confirming the call they are about to have.
“Isn’t he coming home this weekend? For Scout’s birthday?”
“Yeah,” Amelia breathes, but she can’t help the worried feeling creeping into her chest. Something about Link’s text seems off. “Yeah, he’s supposed to be.”
Maggie frowns, clearly recognizing Amelia’s distress.
And Amelia forces a smile, sighing deeply. “Well, I’m going to go call him.”
_______
Her intuition was right.
She tries to suppress the anger and resent that threatens to take over as she stares at her phone screen, listening to the words coming out of Link’s mouth. She feels like she’s only gathering certain pieces.
Something about ‘emergency surgery’
And ‘missing his flight’
And ‘I’ll make it up to him I promise’
“We can’t keep doing this to him,” She interrupts Link in the middle of his detailed explanation.
“I know,” he sighs back, through the phone.
“It’s his birthday,” Amelia’s voice almost breaks on the word. “He’s been talking about you all week. What am I supposed to tell him?”
“That I’m sorry,” Link quickly responds. “And I love you guys. And I’ll be home as soon as I can.” He regrets his words the moment he sees Amelia’s face fall in disbelief. Clearly not the response she had wanted.
“Amelia,” He continues. “I did get some good news today.”
“What’s that?”
“I got the approval from my boss. To have Scout with me this summer. When school gets out he can come to all the away games….like we’d planned. What do you think?”
Amelia nods numbly. This was always a part of the plan. They’d promised Scout a summer full of away games when his school break came around. It was something for him to look forward to.
“And you too, obviously,” Link adds. “Whenever your work schedule allows, of course. Think about it! The three of us out here travelling, it’ll be perfect! Everything we’ve wanted!”
Silence falls between them and Amelia zones out momentarily, subconsciously picking at the loose fabric of the couch she’s sitting on in the attending’s lounge.
She doesn’t realize she’s said anything out loud until she feels the shakiness of her own voice.
“I think we should take a break.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I think we should….separate. For a while.”
“Amelia…” Link frowns, trying to understand. “We are basically separate right now, we….we never see each other. Aren’t we already kind of-”
“Exactly,” she interrupts.
“I still don’t understand.”
“I think what you just said sums it up perfectly. We basically already are.”
“Yeah, but. This is temporary...I’m coming back. I’m-”
“I mean something a little more permanent.”
Link doesn’t say a word.
“I mean I don’t think I’ll be joining you guys this summer.”
_______
(summer - present day)
The door hesitates open and she’s glass before him. Hard, stoic, refusing to meet his eyes. She’s staring at his feet. Or maybe at the doormat, which ironically reads ‘welcome’ in all capital letters.
Link almost wants to laugh as he reads the word, glancing down at the ‘welcome’ mat, feeling anything but welcome. He almost wants to laugh, but he doesn’t.  And she’s clearly not in the mood to laugh either.
He can tell by the way that she’s not yet made eye contact that Amelia’s putting up a front. She’s glass. Detached and oh, so stoic.
She sniffs. And clears her throat. And Link reminds himself that glass is shatterable somewhere down the line.
“Hi Amelia,” he speaks. “It’s good to see you. How’ve you been?”
"Just fine. You?” Her voice sounds raspy as she answers him, like she hasn’t spoken properly in a while. Or maybe it’s been so long since he’s heard her voice, that Link doesn’t recognize it accurately. He quickly refutes that idea. Impossible.  
"Good.”
The eye contact they manage to hold is scarce, and Amelia darts her eyes away once again, clamping down on her bottom lip with a row of white teeth.
“So I, uh, I’ve packed up all of his things…” her sentence dwindles as she waits for a nod, or something, from Link.
“It’s all in the living room. There’s not much to do…..should be a quick exchange.” She mumbles, shuffling behind the door a little, an effort to let Link inside.
He takes a deep breath before he steps over the threshold.
Amelia clears her throat as she leads the way into the house. She nods toward the pile of Scout’s luggage in the corner. “Everything’s there,” she states plainly. She then turns the corner briefly, yelling up the stairs. “Scout! Come downstairs, your Dad’s here!”
Link watches curiously as he follows Amelia through to the kitchen. She reaches out for a jar of peanut butter and a spoon that’s already been sitting out, like she’d been snacking on it just before Link arrived.
“Really, Amelia?” Link chuckles, offering a small smile. “Peanut butter out of the jar? Is that your dinner?”
“I haven’t grocery shopped in while,” she mutters, mouth full. And Link picks up on a hint of a smile.
Silence fills the space between them as Link starts to gather up some of Scout’s belongings.
“I would’ve stopped and gotten pizza or something for you guys,” he offers, finally.
Amelia just frowns, shrugging off the idea.
“He’s going to get hungry during the car ride Ames-” he stutters on the nickname, then immediately corrects himself. “Amelia.”
He ignores whatever emotion waves across her features as a result of the nickname use. He thinks it might be shock. But then she’s speaking at him, her tone somewhere between disbelief and defensiveness.
“Why are you accusing me of….” She trails off briefly, frustrated at the direction of her thoughts. “Scout ate dinner an hour ago...you thought I just...wasn’t going to feed him? Or-”
“Can we not do this? Right now? Please?” Link cuts her off.
“Do what? I’m just saying-” She stops talking abruptly by the look on Link’s face. Clearly not in the mood to spend his time arguing.
“I wasn’t trying to accuse you of anything,” he mutters calmly, hands raised in defense.
“Just pack up the car,” she whispers, suddenly entranced by the ingredients on the peanut butter packaging.
And Link does.
And Amelia busies herself with dishes as Link moves in and out of the house, loading luggage into his car.
_______
Link’s down to the last few items, heading to the front door, when Scout finally comes running down the stairs.
“Dad!” The 5-year-old yells excitedly.
He turns around just in time to witness his little man, having just jumped over the last few steps of the stairs, collapse against him, hugging himself to Link’s legs.
Link chuckles, setting down the stuff he was carrying. “Hey bud! I am so happy to see you! Look at you, you’re so big!”
Scout steps back, looking up at his Dad. “Mom said we get to go to baseball games all summer!”
“That’s true,” he ruffles Scout’s hair. “And…” He pauses for dramatic effect. “You get to meet the baseball players, too.”
Scout opens his mouth wide in excitement. There’s practically a sparkle in the kid’s eye and Link loves the sight of it. He has his mother’s eyes, and Link loves the sight of that, too.
“Want to help me finish loading up the car, bud?”
Scout nods enthusiastically, following his Dad outside.
The house is quiet now, and Amelia listens from the kitchen to the distant sounds of her son babbling excitedly outside. An aching feeling rises in her chest and she tries her best to suppress it. She pulls herself together and makes her way toward the front hallway.  Link re-enters the house with Scout trailing behind him moments later.
“You all packed up?” Amelia tries to sound excited as she asks Scout, but her voice just sounds thin and strained.
“Yep!” Scout replies, his energy radiating in such a way that he can barely stand still in his position on the front porch.
“Okay, then. Guess it’s time to go,” Amelia mutters.
And with that Scout takes off, sprinting towards the car eagerly and yelling back at his Dad. “Dad, come on! Come on let’s go!”
“Wait Scout, get back here!” Link yells after him. “Come say goodbye to your Mom first.”
But Scout is already inside the car, climbing into the backseat and mumbling enthusiastically to himself.
“Scout did you hear me?!” Link is starting to sound a little exasperated.  
Still no compliance from the young boy.
“Scout!”
“He heard you, he heard you!” Amelia interrupts, forcing a tight smile. Link looks back at her. “It’s fine, really. We already said goodbye.”
Link frowns. “Okay, but still-”
“Dad!” Scout suddenly yells from the car, interrupting them. “Can we get pizza on the way?!”
Amelia sucks in a breath. But then immediately tries to hide her pain, because this whole interaction just stings.
“Uhhhh,” Link draws out his reaction. “I’ll think about it, buddy. I know you already ate. So we’ll see-”
“Can you just go, please?” Amelia interrupts harshly, her head hanging low, in an attempt to hide her face.
Link frowns, taking in Amelia’s demeanor. Her neck is flushed and she’s clearly upset. And clearly trying to hide it.
“Amelia, I’m sorry,” he mumbles, reaching for her wrist.
He doesn't know why he does it. Muscle memory maybe. An attempt to comfort the woman that looks so breakable before him.
She recoils from his touch, snatching her wrist out of his grasp faster than he’d expect from someone seemingly so apathetic.
She finally looks at Link, and it practically kills him. The way her face twists when she’s trying not to cry.
“Please,” she rasps. “Please just go.”
And Link complies. Amelia wraps her trembling fingers around the door knob as Link goes to leave.
He steps out onto the porch, turning to face Amelia. He wants to say something. And by the look in Amelia’s stinging eyes, he needs to say something. He goes to open his mouth, not sure what’s going to come out, when Amelia swiftly shuts the door.
He stands there, frozen.
Long enough to hear the broken sob from the other side of the door.
Long enough to feel his heart sink, and for an ache to develop in the back of his throat.
But he turns around. He forces a smile on his face and walks toward the car, locking eyes with his bright-eyed son in the back seat. He walks away from Amelia.
_______
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