#so. it's been two weeks. i'm sorry OTL

[peace-hunter]

Optimus wasn't a fuzzy baby most of the time but sometimes he simply refused to fall asleep unless Alpha Trion came by to tell him a story. Prima learned to recognize and accept when this happened and how to deal with it (and was only mildly bitter about not being the favorite. again </3), he just wishes his other siblings would listen to him when he said so :/

(continues under read more)

baby prime orion au

if anyone asked Orion why he insisted on sneaking into the archives despite the amount of trouble it constantly got him into, he would say he's trying to find the matrix. and he wouldn't be lying!

but... he also wouldn't be saying the whole truth either.

it's just. he wouldn't know how to explain how those old recordings almost make the grief and longing for something he can't put his finger on go away, if only for a moment. how for barely a second he can almost feel complete despite the gaping hole in his chest.

it never lasts, but even a glimpse of relief is better than sadness that feels never ending.

(he just wishes Alpha Trion's voice didn't make him so goddamn sleepy. he wouldn't get caught nearly as much if he didn't get lulled to sleep half of the time :/)

[jazlynriddle-legacy]

Let's Go, Together

Summary:

What if Anne arrived a little later in the catacombs? What if she didn’t see Sebastian kill Solomon? What if she wasn't overcome with rage, piled upon grief? You watch helplessly instead, as the twins go to meet fate, hand in hand.

Warnings: Death, major character death, angst, depression, suicide, bittersweet, tragedy. Like, my partner read this and went "this is some Romeo/Juliet-esque shit right here", seriously, don't read this unless you're ready for the possibility of crying.

You can also read on AO3!

Notes:

So, this is probably the shortest oneshot I've ever written, I'll explain in the notes where it came from, but this came out super damn smooth, like, bam, under two hours and barely any editing needed. Getting this out was like the smoothest diarrhoea ever, complete with painful cramping.

And, whoooo! It’s finally come, the day that my notes are actually longer than the fic itself. Aha ha ha… goddamnit. Though, I’ll admit that that’s because half the notes are me ranting about the argument that got this churned out to begin with. So, I apologise to anyone who came in thinking the fic is 5k words, half of that is notes and they wouldn't fit in the notes category. I'm sorry! OTL

Also, fuck me, I only have a week left before my deadline and the next chapter of It's My Own Design is still only half done- ToT Being in an argument makes it hard for me to regulate and get into my writing, it's already over but I'm still feeling its effects... sigh hopefully getting this out will make me feel better...

You watch as the wand falls from Sebastian's fingers, he's staring at his hand like it's betrayed him. You're about to speak, to ask him what the ever-loving fuck. When the Inferi nearby swipe at you and you can't simply continue watching his stunned form.

“Sebastian, look out!” You shout, casting Incendio at the Inferi around you, the flames licking across the hems of your robes. “Snap out of it!”

This isn't the time to be horrified. Not yet, anyway. Not while the living dead continue to attack, uncaring of the absolute shit show of a disaster that has taken place here.

You spare a moment to cast a Confringo at one of the skeletons coming up behind Sebastian, but he takes a blow from another, which jostles him from his stupor, and he finally seems aware of his surroundings again. You kick his wand to him, Inferi first, you can slap him later.

He quickly scoops up his wand and resumes fighting. Without Solomon attacking you alongside the Inferi, without Sebastian being distracted trying to solo Solomon, the two of you sweep up the remaining Inferi with your usual efficiency and teamwork.

All too soon, the cavern is quiet once more, save the panting from you and he. Charred bones litter the floor, covering almost every square inch, but you have no interest in them, because Sebastian has gone still, staring at his uncle's body once again.

“Sebastian... what have you done...” You breathe, you don't know what to do, how to react, nothing could have prepared you for this. For him to do this.

Sure, Solomon had been coming at you with terrifying anger, even hung you in the air and petrified you - as the Inferi slashed at you - threw Confringos at you, ignored your pleas for him to stop, to stop making things worse. But this... the Killing Curse, you're not sure whether Sebastian was trying to protect you or just taking his anger towards Solomon too far.

Maybe it was both? You pray it was both. His outburst on the mountain still feels uncomfortable, even if he apologised for it. If you pissed him off enough, would he kill you too? You watch Sebastian sink to his knees by his uncle's body, reaching out with shaky fingers to touch the hardening skin.

“U- uncle?” He murmurs faintly, and you know the answer. He wouldn’t have. Sebastian is just as shaken by his actions as you are.

You have to mean it.

You swallow, yeah, you'd meant it too, when you threatened to abandon Sebastian, when he was being a prick on the mountain. Didn't mean you wouldn't have felt awful about it afterwards, if he made you feel like you had to, if he pushed you into that corner. Didn't mean you wouldn't hate the consequences, didn't mean you wouldn't miss having your friend by your side, as you fought against Ranrok. Alone.

You take a step towards him, but you don't know what to say, and the sound seems to jostle him from his daze.

“In- inferi.” Sebastian mutters, pushing himself to his feet unsteadily and taking several steps back, turning away from the body with a hand over his mouth. He looks like he's seconds from vomiting. “We- we can say the Inferi did- did- this.”

“Sebastian...” You frown, he's doing it again, closing his feelings off and trying to think with his brain alone.

“Please-” He gasps, knowing that you're about to... actually, you're not sure what you're about to say or do, but whatever it is, you don't get to.

“Sebastian?” Anne's voice reaches your ears, and both you and Sebastian stare at the doorway, in varying degrees of horror.

“A- Anne-” Sebastian moves, as though wanting to cover Solomon's body from her view, even though he must know he cannot possibly do so in time.

You see her expression change the moment she spots Solomon. With wide eyes, she staggers towards him, slowly at first, disbelief on her face, and then she's running, stumbling and falling mere steps away. Sebastian quickly darts forward to catch her, but she throws his arms off and collapses to the floor, dragging herself across the stone to kneel by Solomon's cold corpse.

“No- no no no- Uncle?” Anne touches Solomon's face frantically. “Please, uncle-”

“He's- he's gone.” Sebastian pleads, practically begging her to stop. To stop making him regret what he's done. “Anne-”

“Why- how-” Anne gasps, tears spilling from her eyes in rivers as she clings to the man's body.

“I- Inferi- they- they got him.” Sebastian answers, giving you an entreating stare, like you were a deity that he was praying to for salvation.

You are at a loss for words, there hasn't been enough time for you to decide if you will go along with his lie. And it is a lie, an outright lie. He's told many half-truths, used misleading language and implied things that weren't true, kept secrets - just as you have - but this is his first baldfaced lie.

“Why-” Anne continues before you can decide, turning to look at Sebastian. “Why did you do this? Any of this...”

“I-” Sebastian stammers, you've never seen him so speechless.

“I'm not worth this.” Anne sobs and Sebastian immediately kneels, grabs her by the shoulders and shakes her.

“You are!” He declares, it sounds like a demand and a plea in one, and he's crying now too, more desperately than you ever imagined the cocky boy could. “You are! I- please, Anne, I can't live without you.”

He touches her face gently, tenderly, despair dripping from every word. “You can't say that. I- I need you. You are worth it. You... you have to be.”

He's hanging off her shoulders now, sobbing harder than even she had been, and she watches him with empty eyes.

Defeated, resignation in the slump of her shoulders, in the flatness of her expression. It hurts to watch.

She slowly raises her hand to touch his wet cheek, speaking gently. “You need to let me die.”

“No!” Sebastian practically screams, grabbing his head between his hands and you instinctively raise your wand. He's going completely off the rails, and you're worried about what could happen, what he might do, but he only continues wailing. “I can't, I need you! Anne, I can't live without you! Don't leave me, please, please stay, just- just stay... I'll do anything...”

He grasps her hand, gazing into her face, his eyes red and frenzied, and she swallows, before closing her eyes in acceptance and sorrow.

“I know... but I can't.” Anne whispers, and before his face can harden into anger, she touches his cheek with a sad smile. “So... let's go. Together.”

His entire body freezes, and you freeze too. Surely, she can't be suggesting-

“I can't- I can't let you hurt anyone else, but I understand now.” Anne gives a bitter laugh. “I was wrong to think I could just... set you free.”

He chokes on a sob, placing his hand over hers.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Sebastian. It's okay.” She smiles beseechingly. “I know you don't mean to, and you would hurt too, wouldn't you? If anyone else gets hurt. If Ominis or...”

Anne gives you a glance and you jolt in place. She was serious!?

Incredulous, your eyes flicker to Sebastian, who is also staring at you now. He's wearing a complicated expression, and you're not sure which you see, fear, relief or regret. Perhaps it's all of the above.

Your heart clenches, was that why he didn't tell you when he was going to test the relic? Because he didn't want you or Ominis getting hurt if it went wrong? Because he wasn't willing to sacrifice anyone beyond himself? Was that why he seemed so eager to show you that he'd mastered the relic without a sacrifice?

Was that why his control over the relic hadn't been complete? He was so clever, it would be Sebastian who'd manage to make the relic work halfway, without even paying the price for its services.

Anne turns back to Sebastian, her voice firm. “So, come with me. I won't leave you behind to suffer.”

He returns his gaze to her, eyes wide - like a lost child - and she presses a kiss to his forehead. “We can find a quiet peaceful place, we'll spend our last days there, and then we can go. Together.”

Stop. You want to say, you want to step forward, to stop this madness, but something holds you in place. Is it shock? Is it fear? Is it because... you can't see any other option either?

Sebastian stares into her eyes, and you watch. It's like watching the most beautiful, serene, and tranquil... horror play, enacted before your very eyes. A small smile of relief spreads across Sebastian's face, and he nods.

Anne leans forward to press their foreheads together and the twins close their eyes.

“Born together...” Sebastian whispers, like a prayer.

“Live together...” Anne's smile and voice are tight and watery.

“Die together.” Sebastian breathes and something in you snaps.

“Wai-” You step forward, the word barely out of your mouth, as the kneeling twins and Solomon's body vanish with the crack of apparition, and you shout. “No!”

But the cavern is empty now, nothing but you in a sea of bones, as your shout echoes down the hollow tunnels.

You stand in shock for several moments, before panic sets in and you scramble for the doors, bones clattering loudly as you kick them out of the way. You barely manage to reach the exit without stepping on a fibula and twisting yours.

The cold evening air hits your face when you emerge from the catacomb. It's bracing, but you have no time to enjoy the fresh breeze.

With a single deep breath, you take off towards Feldcroft at a sprint, if they leave the village, you don't know where they might go. You're desperate to stop them, wishing you could apparate too. You barrel through bushes, leap over rocks, stumble as you run.

The dimly lit hillside stretches out before you, and it was only a matter of time before you tripped over something. The dirt hurts, grains lodging themselves under your fingernails, but you push yourself up with trembling arms and throw yourself forward again.

The sound of them disapparating replays in your ears on repeat. The blissful smile on Sebastian's face, the peace on Anne's, flashing through your mind.

Tears bead in your eyes, and you pray to any celestial being listening that that will not be your last image of them. You feel like the pain in your chest may never fade if it is.

You're out of breath when you arrive at the Sallow residence, and you cast your gaze about frantically, hoping to see them, but all you find is Ominis, leaning against the rock fence behind the cottage. The blind boy is bathed in the last rays of the setting sun, staring distantly with something clutched in his hand, and you rush over.

“Ominis! Have you seen Anne and Sebastian!?” You gasp out without much thought, before your eyes settle on what seems to be a freshly dug mound on the ground near him, and a tombstone that reads ‘Solomon Sallow’. A sinking feeling bears down on your shoulders, settling heavy in your gut.

A bitter, hysterical laugh, almost painful in its grief, rips from Ominis’ throat. “No... but they- goodbye... they said goodbye.”

His cheeks bear streaks of tears and he whispers brokenly. “I- I couldn't stop them...”

No pit in your stomach has ever hurt this much, you cover your mouth and stumble to the side, catching yourself on the same fence. You want to vomit, your heart hurts, they hadn’t even said goodbye to you.

“Sebastian- Sebastian gave me this...” Ominis murmurs, holding out the item in his hand, a rolled-up note. “For you-”

His words choke in his throat, and you take the parchment with trembling fingers, you feel like the same lump is in your throat, as you unroll it to read.

I'm sorry, I wish I could say goodbye to you. But I know you wouldn't let me go. So, this must suffice. Our time together has been short, but I have cherished every moment, and you will always have my gratitude for being by my side.

I have no right to ask anything of you. After everything, you would be well within your rights to hate me. You and Ominis believed in me, and I let you both down.

But please, please take care of Ominis for me? And for Anne. Don't let him be alone. I don't want him to follow us. You know how to talk to him, better than I ever did. Be there for him, like you were for me.

Please. Humour my selfishness, just one last time.

Your friend, Sebastian Sallow

P.S. Help me burn Salazar's journal too. I no longer need it, and Ominis was right. I did end up regretting it.

Your knees hit the floor and your fist slams against stone. Pain shoots up your arm, but it doesn't compare to the pain in your heart. That fucking prick. That selfish - selfless - fucking idiot.

You hear a sob leave Ominis and he slides down to sit beside you, his expression is the most broken you've ever seen. More than in the Scriptorium, where he'd seemed more afraid than anything else. Now, he looks as though a stiff breeze could rip him apart.

You lean into him and wrap your arms around him, letting him cry into your shoulder, as you do his. Taking comfort from each other, and mourning the tragic twins who'd come to mean so much to the two of you. Those two bright souls, searing in their intensity - in their love - burning everything they touched, and then burning out like a wisp on the wind.

Alright. Alright, Sebastian. I'll try my best.

You never see them again, but you can't forget how powerful and beautiful love can be, and how painful a curse it can also be.

Maybe, hopefully, they are finally at peace.

Together.

Notes:

I tried to write this from the perspective of the average player rather than my own, because I know there's a lot of people who didn't react the same way I did during the game, and I wanted to sort of guide the brain (of anyone who relates to this response), to the conclusions I came to after analysing the game.

The reason I have Sebastian willing to burn the book and express regret is because he buried Solomon himself this time, not Anne alone. So, he had more time to feel the weight of his actions, that's one of the things I find frustrating, I've seen people go “Sebastian didn't say he regrets it until we threatened to turn him in” and I'm like, yeah, because he didn't get to face what he'd done, Anne's intervention allowed him to look away from what he'd done and distract himself. To wrap himself in the blanket of his righteousness. Thus, it was only when the social consequence became undeniable, when his actions irrevocably damaged his bond with Anne, that he was forced to face it.

For example, if a kid was recklessly grabbing a cup and it spilled everywhere, the correct thing to do is tell them that they should be more careful next time and then have the kid clean it (with your guidance, of course). The wrong things to do are; scold the child with “what's wrong with you, you are so impatient, look what you've done, you stupid kid”, or shoo the kid away and clean it yourself. One is hurtful, and the other doesn't teach the kid to take responsibility and give them a means of repenting and fixing the mistake.

Solomon repeatedly does BOTH those wrong things every single time we see him interact with Sebastian!

One of the arguments (for Sebastian being evil) that I hate the most is the, “you have to mean it, so Sebastian meant to Avada Solomon, and meant to cast the Cruciatus, he eeeevil.” Like, really? You've never done something that you were sure of in the moment and then regretted later? Seriously? Never said something hurtful, kicked a chair, broke a pencil, threw a tantrum? You sure meant it then, does that mean you can't regret it? Does that mean it didn't hurt to do it? Come on.

I was recently in an argument with someone who tried to tell me that mistakes aren't choices, saying that, “tripping on a rock, or dropping a cup is a mistake. Sebastian made a choice, not a mistake”. I'm just like, you're describing an accident, if you drop a cup, that's by accident. Mistakes are wrong/misguided choices, choices you regret, choices you want to take back. It's in the damn dictionary!

People make mistakes when under extreme stress. Case in point, Ominis. Cruciatus, big oof, 100% not his fault, but he did mean it. I just think that anyone who judges Sebastian but says Ominis is an angel doesn't understand that torture isn't always ripping off fingernails or stabbing eyeballs. The type of torture Sebastian was experiencing was equally as cruel as Ominis got from his family. Just because Sebastian's torturer is reality itself (plus his uncle salting the wound), doesn't make it any less painful or devastating.

Another one is, “Sebastian manipulated MC into helping him and lied about his goals.” Like, when? Sure, he's been evasive, he's lied by omission, been misleading, but those were always in order to advance steps on the way to the goal, his goal was very plain from the beginning and never changes. “Cure Anne. Consequences? Who cares? If she dies, I might as well die too, then nothing matters.” That's why he's so reckless, it's despair and depression. Like, Sebastian could be an unreliable narrator regarding the way Solomon treats him, but he didn’t need to do shit to make me disapprove of Solomon’s behaviour, the man earned that on his own.

You can even say that this is the exact scenario that the Ominis in my other fic, Heavy Is The Crown, was so terrified of. Sebastian just doesn't have much to live for besides Anne and Ominis.

I will admit though, that Anne's maturity and balls have been cranked up a tad for this fic, she's more insightful and willing to face Sebastian's desperation rather than running away from the reality that, whether she likes it or not, even if it's not her fault, her death will ruin him, and she can choose to do something about it, or leave him to drown without her.

In this ending, she gives Sebastian relief, she offers him permission to stop. To give up, to stop trying, to stop fighting, to stop swimming against the current, to let it carry him down the stream, shatter his body against the rocks and obediently sink to the bottom. Permission to stop acting strong, to stop trying to convince others and himself that he's strong enough to carry a dying girl on that tiny 15-year-old back. It's a relief, it's freedom, it's her saying he can say, “I've done enough.” and she won't be disappointed that he can't move on, she's accepted it.

I actually believe in euthanasia, as it is done in the Netherlands, there's just so many things that are worse than death. The person I argued with tried to convince me that murder is the greatest sin, and I'm like, I can list a million things I'd rather be murdered, than be inflicted with, you lucky sweet summer child. I congratulated them on never having reached Sebastian's desperation and they seemed to be offended, but I meant it. I would love to believe that murder is the worst sin.

Then again, this person I was arguing with also said they'd rather lock up and punish someone who regrets and is ready to repent, than for anyone to “get away with it”.

I think it's also frustrating that some people seem to think that Sebastian doesn't care about Ominis because he keeps throwing us at Ominis, but I think he's hurt that Ominis listens to a stranger over him. It's because Sebastian cares about Ominis more than his own pride, that Sebastian says “you know what, I can't figure out what Ominis needs, but I want him to get it. So, if you can do it, please, even if it hurts me to ask you to do something I wish I could do. Talk to him for me because I don't know how to do it without hurting him.”

In the game, Sebastian shows signs of being bitter about not being able to communicate properly with Ominis, and it's one of the reasons he's ready to die with Anne in this fic. Sebastian doesn't feel needed by Ominis, Sebastian mistakenly thinks that Ominis is angry that “being friends with Sebastian” means that Ominis still has to think about Dark Arts. Sebastian doesn't have a reason to stay.

And that's why I prefer legalised euthanasia, going through multiple doctors, years of evaluations, lawyers and hoops before being approved and being able to back out any time. It's better than suicide since there's professionals to make sure that you've tried every option. Without legal euthanasia, people are more likely to attempt suicide alone, and when it's based off misinformation, like Sebastian's mistaken belief that he isn't needed.

In Heavy Is The Crown, Ominis gets his head out of his ass and takes action to prevent Sebastian from falling to suicide, but in this alternate path, Ominis continues his modus operandi of just feeling sorry for himself when something he doesn't want to happen happens. Which, obviously is NOT his fault. That's his default modus operandi because of his abuse and disempowerment in his home and school, because his family influence is so broad.

Also, um, I feel like I should just say, you're welcome to interpret Sebastian and Anne's love in this fic however you wish, but I personally did not write it with incestual romance in mind. Just... making that clear. The Reader/Ominis is a bit more intentional and I do think of this as a bit of pre-ship between Ominis and MC, but you can also see that as platonic, of course!

I'm just gonna rant about the person I was arguing with for a bit. You can skip this, but if you want to know where this fic came from, feel free to read the painful experience that led to it.

One of the most horrifying things that person said was “if a woman who had been assaulted and became afraid of men afterwards or if someone had a bad experience with a black person, and retaliated against the next black person who approached them aggressively, they should be blamed for choosing to react violently.” Like, I'll grant that these people with bias resulting from bad experiences should not be in charge of making laws and they need therapy, but blame them for a fear response? Wtf-

I begged them to try to understand why people make mistakes or overreact and take their experiences into account and have compassion, if they want to prevent tragedies and treat the root of problems, and they said I was insulting them as uncompassionate. They pulled a “I've suffered too, but I didn't become a murderer” line too, why do they always pull that one? Just because you can, doesn't mean everyone else can! We are not all equal in experience, support, background, and physical/chemical make up!

I pointed out their misquotes of lines that weren't in the game, like, they said Anne said the “Inferi were heading to the town”, which... no, Anne calls Feldcroft a hamlet, not a town and that line just doesn't exist! And they said Ominis approved of Anne getting Solomon and said, “I completely forgot, Anne's going to get Solomon.” but what he actually said was “I was so worried about Sebastian. I didn't even realise - Anne's gone to get Solomon.” Completely different meaning! I was like “please play the game again, you're hallucinating” and they called that an ad hominem.

They said there's a special Rehab Azkaban for minors that has no dementors (since when!?) where kids get to leave unharmed (That's some amazing Just World Fallacy, this is a country with slavery, legal racism and no lawyers!), right after saying that Sebastian would be an adult at almost-16 during that time, so this mythical minor-rehab-Azkaban wouldn't take Sebastian anyway! They even say Inferi can't leave their gravesite without being controlled, and then, that Sebastian failed to control the Inferi contradicting their assertion that Inferi were heading to the hamlet. And then they say I'm insulting them by saying they're being contradictory and illogical. Oh, and when I pointed that out, they said the relic was controlling the Inferi not Sebastian, like, controlling them to do what!? By that logic, I can say the gun killed that guy, not me. Wtf-

Then they said it's dangerous and unhealthy to draw conclusions about someone based on how they interact with a fictional character, (even though they said they would rather lock away anyone who isn't “sufficiently repentant” irl too, which sounds good until you realise that they don't think Sebastian was repentant) and that fictional topics should stay in fiction. Like, wtf, fiction is meant to allow us to share and simulate situations, explore, and practice emotions safely so we can learn from the experience and grow as a person, and face reality wiser. I feel like this person would say Star Trek isn't political and shouldn't be compared to real world politics.

God, that was such an awful conversation, they picked a fight with me over a 2 year old thread, refused to leave me alone when I said I'd rather not fight and continued spamming me, said I'm an unpleasant person to converse with (then leave me alone, Jesus), then they accused me of liking my own posts too, and when I went and liked some to show that the 1 like wasn't myself, because, look, I liked it and it's now 2, they said that's evidence that I... was indeed liking my own posts. Like wtf? They say I'm a bad debater, and yeah. You're right, I'm not here to debate. I'm a teacher. So, if you insist on bothering me, what you get is a lecture!

And then two other people came in to pile on me, calling me nasty, an awful person and insufferable without telling me what I've done that is so “nasty”, and refusing to answer when I asked how they would rather I phrase my replies. At least when I say someone is awful, I say why, and it's pretty much only when someone tells me they want to make already suffering people suffer more. Those supporters said they didn't see any wrong quotes or wrong info from the person I argued with, and I am so confused. I feel like I'm the crazy one. What is going on, how can you two agree with this person when they are concerningly saying a 15-year-old is old enough to be treated like an adult!? Then they say I’m rude for saying that has concerning implications of the paedophilic kind. Sorry, but that's where your double standard logically leads.

Then they started mocking my "books" and laughing with each other, yeesh, what is this comically middle school bullying of the nerdy autistic kid shit? And mate, if you think 1k words make a book, I have bad news for you.

Look, we raised the age of adulthood for a reason! We have juvenile court for a reason! We raised the minimum working age for a reason! Children do not yearn for the mines! We abolished “guilty until proven innocent” for a reason! We take dangerous things/info out of reach of kids, not keep them in the easily broken-into Restricted Section! We don't just judge radicalised kids and lock them up in a torture chamber with dementors, we figure out how it happened and understand it, to prevent it from happening again.  We rehabilitate them and offer them compassion, dignity and support. Hell, it's usually depression causing the problems and you want to throw the kid in depression central? Even if you think there's a non-Azkaban rehab, mental hospitals in the 1890s were also torture chambers!

Who decides who is unsaveable and who isn't!? Who is repentant and who isn't!? This person decided on their own that Sebastian will 100% kill again, when the person he killed in the heat of battle- when Solomon attacked Sebastian emotionally for years and then physically. They even said that Sebastian blamed Anne for leaving him when Sebastian explicitly said, “I can't blame her. I couldn't really blame any of you if you gave up on me entirely. You all believed in me. And I let you all down.”

I tried so hard to get them to realise that there was nothing Sebastian could have done to convince them he'd changed and was worthy of a second chance, that they'd already judged him, closed the possibility in their mind and given him a task that was impossible, because they'd already decided that he was unsaveable. That they are more fixated on punishment than reform. That they simply want justice without compassion.

They gave him an exam with a pass grade of 130/100. He has no chance and that's not fair. (Which ironically, was the same thing they did to me with the "likes" thing, they seemed to think I was pissed about that because I cared about... honestly, I don't know, I don't see what the point of that would have been, but the thing that actually pissed me off was that there was no way to convince them that I didn't like my own replies. Even though I have zero reason to do such a thing and have proven it by actively using my one like to bring it to 2.)

But they literally went, “I'm done reading your essays, I'm right and you're wrong.” I can never get over how painful that is, to face a person who slams the door in my face after I spent so much effort trying to reach them sincerely and honestly. Called insufferable because I refuse to bend my principles, my belief that everyone deserves mercy and a second chance. I plead for kindness, and they get angry instead and say I'm, “nauseatingly full of yourself” and “talking down on people”.

I'm on my knees bro- I'm not talking down on you, I am begging you, for the people around you, the children you say you are in charge of caring for. You don't know how painful it is to not be believed when you are trying to change. When you know you've made a mistake you can't take back, and you want to repent and make up for it, but nobody believes you or gives you the chance to. To be accused of crocodile tears or purposely fucking up or not trying.

To just be punished, made an example of, and hung out to dry as a child. To be given up on, betrayed by those you thought you could count on. To realise your best was never enough, could never have been enough. That you were doomed to fail from the start, and nobody cares that that was your best.

I know those people wouldn't even read this, but you who are reading please understand that, in the face of all that…

Death is preferable.

[chenziee]

The Heart in the Cage

I'm so sorry for the delay! Work and life in general's been a total dumpster fire the past two weeks 💀 I'll try to get the next one asap but I sadly can't promise anything concrete OTL

Written for: - @truffyfest Summer of Lawlu 2024 - Week 2: CONFESSION | HEART SWAP | “I thought I’d lost you.” - OP Bingo 2023: Volcano - @opfluffzine Wheel of Fluff event: Communication

[ READ ON AO3 | CHAINS OF FATE | COMM INFO ]

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“You want to do what?” 

Luffy snickered at Law’s question. He did expect him to protest the idea but his shocked tone and horrified expression was just something else and Luffy just couldn’t help it. It was too funny, okay?

“Stop laughing, do you realise how serious what you’re asking is?” Law hissed, his frustration more than apparent.

“Sorry, Torao.” Luffy gulped, forcing his mirth down.

For a few seconds, Torao just continued glaring at him, as if to make sure Luffy wasn’t going to start giggling again… and maybe to try and convey how very unimpressed with Luffy he was. But finally, he sighed. 

“Tell me why exactly should I go ahead with this stupid idea?”

“Because you love me!” Luffy answered immediately with a wide smile on his face, leaning forward to peer at Law’s face. There was a complicated look in his sharp, beautiful eyes, a look that told Luffy that he was fighting with himself over it.

Clicking his tongue, Law shoved Luffy’s face away. “That has nothing to do with it. In fact, it’s all the more reason why I shouldn’t do it.” He narrowed his eyes at Luffy, pointing his finger at Luffy and poking at the centre of his chest. “If my heart is in there and something happens to me, you’re dead, Luffy.”

“So?” Luffy asked, a pout making its way on his lips.

Law inhaled sharply, and it looked like he was counting to ten in his mind before he replied, “So, I’m not going to do it. It’s too fucking risky!” He paused, closing his eyes for a second before shooting Luffy a look. “Why do you want me to switch our hearts anyway?”

With a small huff, Luffy slumped against the backrest of the aquarium bar’s couch, watching as the dim light reflecting off of the water dances across Law’s skin, his face, his hair. There were still some barely visible scratches and bruises, a bandage tightly wrapped around his left forearm where his soulmark was. Covering the deep, long slash Torao got from Blackbeard days ago. Chopper said it was likely going to scar, marring his skin forever.

Leaving a mark where only Luffy’s presence should be…

All the while Luffy was on Egghead and completely unaware anything was wrong until after the crew and everyone else got to safety and he thought to check Torao’s vivre card.

They were lucky Bepo was able to get Law to safety before anything worse happened to him, or any of the Heart Pirates.

“It’s just…” Luffy gestured with his hand vaguely. “We’re gonna go our separate ways again. I wanna have something to connect to you.”

“You have my vivre card. I have yours. Pretty sure Nami-ya still has Bepo’s. We have literal soulmarks. You even made us get fucking tattoos,” Law pointed out, raising an eyebrow.

Luffy groaned and looked away, turning to study the fish swimming happily in the aquarium. “It’s slow, okay? If your heart is with me, I’ll know immediately that I need to check your vivre card.”

When Law didn’t say anything for a while, Luffy glanced back at him. He was surprised to find Law’s own eyes boring into him, studying Luffy’s expression and searching his eyes for something. What that something was, Luffy had no idea… but he decided to wait until Law found it—or gave up. 

It took a long while for either of them to say anything; they quietly looked at each other, the silence hanging around them heavy but somehow, it wasn’t uncomfortable. Rather, it felt like a sense of understanding connected them, an invisible string that tied them together and linked them and their thoughts. Somehow, Luffy wouldn’t mind sitting here like this all afternoon. For some reason, he didn’t think he’d even get bored.

… Okay, maybe not the whole afternoon but he could definitely do a few minutes no problem!

But that wasn’t the point.

“What is this really about, Straw Hat-ya?”

Luffy froze at the question, blinking at Law blankly. What was it about? He didn’t really think about it when he suggested the heart swapping, didn’t bother searching for a reason. Thinking wasn’t his strong suit, after all; the idea occurred to him and it felt right so he just said it… But well—

“I don’t know! Does it matter?” Luffy asked, tilting his head to the side. “It’s not a big deal, and I know you’ve done it already two years ago!”

Law startled at the revelation, obviously not expecting Luffy to know. He stared at Luffy with wide eyes for a moment, before a groan escaped him. “It was Penguin, wasn’t it?”

“Yep!” Luffy confirmed with a laugh. “He also said you told him you’d toss him overboard if he ever told me.”

“Why am I not surprised,” Law grumbled, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. “It was a temporary measure to help with treatment. You basically had a volcano erupt in your lungs and you’d have died if I didn’t do it. There’s no medical reason now.”

“Was there one back then though?” Luffy teased, poking Law’s shoulder. “I mean, you could have used anyone’s heart. Or just left me be!”

Seeing the scowl Torao gave him, Luffy couldn’t help but burst out laughing. That only seemed to make Law more annoyed… which in turn made Luffy laugh harder. 

“You’re right, I should have just let you die,” Torao grumbled, rolling his eyes at Luffy’s amusement.

With one last snicker, Luffy shuffled closer, pressing a quick, loud kiss to Law’s cheek before he poked Torao’s side again. “I think your reason was the same as mine is now,” he said quietly.

“I’m not lying on the operating table with a hole in my chest, connected to a ventilator and on the verge of total heart failure,” Law shot back, his voice completely flat and entirely unimpressed.

“Maybe, but when I saw your vivre card, I still thought I’d lost you for a moment. I never wanted to feel that way again after Mingo almost killed you.” Luffy shrugged.

When Law didn’t say anything, Luffy hummed, looking at Law questioningly, only to find a complicated expression on his face. Did he say something weird? He didn’t think he did but seeing how Torao was staring at him…

“What did I say?!” Luffy cried out defensively, only for Law to heave a deep sigh.

“You’re saying that? Did you forget you actually died not three weeks ago?” Law said, narrowing his eyes at Luffy.

That only served to prove Luffy right! “See?!” He grinned victoriously. “We’re thinking the same thing!”

“We are so not,” Law hissed.

Waving his hand dismissively, Luffy shuffled closer still, throwing his legs over Torao’s lap as he made himself comfortable in his personal space. Law didn’t seem to mind, automatically placing one hand over Luffy’s knee. Luffy’s smile widened at the gesture.

“Torao~” he sang. “Let's do it.”

“You’re such a brat.” Law sighed, shooting Luffy an annoyed look and Luffy grinned victoriously—making Torao click his tongue. “Wipe that look off your face, you won nothing.”

“But you’re gonna do it so I win!” Luffy announced, sticking his tongue out.

As Law rolled his eyes at him and a Room formed around the two of them, Luffy felt warmth pooling in his chest, spreading throughout his entire body. Wow, he really loved this man, didn’t he? It was ridiculous; it felt like every day, he was falling deeper—soulmate or not, it didn’t matter to him.

The birdcage he carried on his thigh didn’t matter to him—it was crushed anyway, just like Law’s chain was snapped, just like it should be. They didn’t need their soulmarks. They didn’t need fate.

And seeing Law’s heart, watching as it beat strongly in his hands, feeling its warmth as he inserted it into his own chest…

He was never more sure of that.

Never more sure this was where he should be.

[starglasszodiac]

Page 13 Delay

OTL

I'm so sorry I have to keep doing this, I gave myself two whole weeks and that still wasn't enough time to even start this page! Not even a thumbnail! Thanks I hate it!!! October is always a busier month for me, but this one has just been abject chaos and we're only halfway through. I should be in a slightly slower moment of time now though (fingers crossed 🥴) so this page update will be moved to October 18th, 2024. Thank you for your patience as always. :')

[bothfeetinthegrave]

name — Rabbit is a nickname I've had for around a thousand years. My real name is Rory, or Ro if you prefer that over nicknames. I'm not choosy.

pronouns — he / him

preferred comms — discord works for me around %80 of the time, which is much more reliable than IMs here. My info's in my pinned if you'd like to add me - just let me know who you are!

name of muse — This is Eden Muir's blog, he's an OC / my favourite dead guy. My other writing blog @belovedcorvid, where I will probably reblog this, is for Donquixote Rocinante.

experience in RP — I've been writing on this site for around 11-12 years, across a few different URLs.

best experiences — I don't really have a specific best experience, it's hard to compare interactions because they're so different. I do want to mention though that I have never been included in as friendly and immediately accepting of a writing community as I have with OP, both here and on Cora's blog.

pet peeves / dealbreakers — I don't have a lot - I'm a pretty chill guy and the people I interact with are really considerate. I guess if I had to pick something, it's when another person continues an ask without moving it to a new thread? And even that feels really silly to sit down and write out like this.

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — No smut here, at least not so far - not really my thing. Between the other two, no real preference. Why not both? We can have hurt/comfort as a treat. I'd actually like to write some more shippy things, but I'm slow and not good at recognising when that's possible.

plot or memes — I find plotting to be easier with people I've interacted with a bit already, so I guess I would say memes.

long or short replies — Too long replies I get wordy. OTL I always want to do dialogue only or short replies because I wish I was faster, but they never stay that way. You never have to match me, and if you ever want me to focus in / make something easier to reply to, let me know!

best time to write — My schedule's wild, so right now the stars have to align in the following way: evenings on days where I haven't been on triage team all day, and don't have tabletop. This usually means mid-week and sundays.

are you like your muse — There's a fair bit of me in Eden, just because I think that's the nature of character creation for many people.

I am like Cora because I too am barely keeping my shit together and would like a cigarette.

tagged by: @isutoburu ♡ tagging: @byanyan @intothewildsea @vanishinq @rubctosis @cmdrace @taiixuan and @ anyone else that would like to fill this out, just say I tagged you! I have no idea anymore who's done this one and who hasn't so if I've tagged you and You've already done it I'm sorry. OTL

[quackiseok]

— my, my, mine!

dream x gn! reader || oneshot

genre : fluff

warnings : jealousy , slight possessiveness

summary : you have just finished having fun with george, sapnap, and your boyfriend, dream! but seems like someone's a bit jealous of your interaction with george and sapnap.

a/n : AAAAA HELLO!! how are you guys doing? i hope this day treats you well! here's a short imagine i wrote, i hope you liked it :] and i'm really sorry if there's any mistakes i speedran this at 1 AM OTL

song to listen to while reading :

It was truly a fun day to you.

After such a long week of working on your project for work, you have finally gotten the chance to sit back and relax at the weekend.

Using the weekend only for resting seems a bit bland to you, so you decided it was a good idea to hang around with your boyfriend and his friends to spice some things up!

And you weren't wrong, it was lots of fun.

Sapnap and George has already been friends with you, even before you dated Clay. In fact, you met Clay for the first time through them.

Nonetheless, you used the precious chance given to have fun and mess around with them in the voice call. You had lots of fun, of course, but Clay seems to be a bit quieter than usual.

Maybe it's just your feelings, so you decided to shrug it off.

It was almost midnight when you decided that it was enough for the night. The four of you said your goodbyes and soon left the voice call.

"Hey, Clay?" You called out for your boyfriend right after you left the voice call with George, Sapnap, and Clay.

No answer.

"Clay?" You called him out for the second time, slowly lifting yourself up from your chair.

There were still no response from him, leaving you a bit worried.

That's a bit unusual.

You took a step closer to him, approaching his figure on his gaming chair.

His expressions were hard to read, but you knew something didn't click right with you.

A small sigh escaped your lips as you took more steps closer towards his silent figure.

"Clay—" Before you could finish your sentence, you felt a grip on your wrist.

"—!" Surprised by the sudden tug on your wrist that pulled you towards Clay, you gasped out a surprised yelp.

Here you are now, on top of Clay's figure on his gaming chair. With his silence remaining, he pulled you closer to him and locked you in his embrace, which left you flustered and confused from his sudden actions.

"C-Clay?" You stuttered out your words, feeling your cheeks heat up from how close the two of you were.

No words left his mouth. Confused, you tried to shift yourself away from him but only resulting to him tightening his embrace.

"No, don't go." Clay nuzzled his face on the crook of your neck, his warm breath hitting your bare skin.

At this point, you were ready to melt into a puddle.

Still trying to process everything that was currently happening, you slowly placed your hand on the back of his head and started brushing his soft hair with your fingers.

"W-What's wrong?" You questioned him. As much as you loved the current affection you're receiving from Clay, the confusion still lingered around your mind.

He just grumbled softly, pulling your waist closer to him whilst his face rested on the crook of your neck.

"You're mine." Clay mumbled out of nowhere, leaving you surprised by his sudden possessiveness.

After a few seconds processing all of the things that just happened, it all clicked in your mind.

You couldn't help but let out a soft giggle when you realized that Clay were jealous.

With a smile still plastered on your lips, you gently moved your shoulders away to get face to face with Clay. He couldn't help but let out a whine when you moved his chin away from the crook of your neck, which made you giggle for the second time.

Both your hands softly cupped his cheeks, making Clay face you in the eye.

"Were you jealous?" You couldn't help but tease Clay for it, knowing that he was indeed jealous when you hung out with both George and Sapnap.

"...Maybe." Clay looked away softly as he mumbled out his answer, his cheeks lightly tinted in pink.

How did you managed to find a boyfriend this adorable?

You just cackled out of playfulness, knowing that you were capable of making Clay jealous.

With a playful smile still painted on your lips, you slowly guided his chin back to face you using your fingers. Your eyes met with his in a deep, adoring gaze before you placed a soft kiss on his lips, which then left him even redder than before.

"I'm yours, don't worry."

[sakasakiii]

rin... bestie... i'm just saying if you'd ever do a silmarillion tarot deck (even if its just a major arcana one) i would be the first one on the kickstarter 👉🏻👈🏻 or if you do commissions like that though i have no idea how to even print tarot cards otl

nonnie.... bestie....! first off i am so SO stoked to receive such a kind message 😭😭 gosh seriously!! im really grateful for all the support and feedback i've gotten on the tarot series since Feanorian Week, and your words absolutely knocked the wind outta me 💓

now all jokes aside, back in March i honestly did fantasize about one day printing those tarot designs as cards one day! unfortunately, i too have like ZERO idea on how to print or contact companies or even if those pieces are good enough to print??, so for now that's yet another pipe dream of mine for the future heheh 👉🏻👈🏻 but ur kickstarter offer is DHDDJDK SO SWEET i am literally a melting pile of mess rn GAHHHH 😭💓

i did play around with Redbubble some time ago though, so I do offer them as tiny stickers here ! though, i have formatting issues with the postcards/greeting cards i still cant fix so the borders are very wonky. so stickers and magnets are the best I can do for now...!

and in terms of that tarot series, i actually did plan to finish the rest- for example, 'the Devil' (Melkor), 'the Lovers' (Beren/Luthien), 'Temperance' (Finrod), 'Tower' (Turgon), 'Chariot' (Glorfindel/Ecthelion), etc... but I have been SO busy and ig it just kinda slipped my mind til you brought it up 😂

so about commissions!! as of now, i don't think I can accept any for these two months (July-August) bc I still need to finish off the last of my TRSB pieces and some commissions I received in June, but I may be freer in the upcoming months!

still nonnie, I'm super flattered you asked- thank you so much!! 🥺🥺❤️ i'd hate to disappoint you so im really sorry i cant deliver atm, but if you're still interested in the future you know who to hit up ;) ;)

[jui-imouto-chan]

How does Atsumu and Osamu fit into the story? I love them both especially in a hinaharem, so I'm curious!!

Part 10

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[Image Description: A screenshot of a reply from a user named @mickybloginb379 . The text written is, “Miya Twins as foxes and maybe Fox Kita too? Kita finding Shoyo first and repeatingly visiting which leads to the Twin’s getting curious, and circling around shoyo’s legs at the same time :)” End ID]

•

I got carried away OTL. This may have been influenced by me watching too much NatsuYuu 

•

Hinata was not pleased with this situation.

Pressing his back to a a withering tree, his eyes darted around as a shiver passed through his body. The graveyard was quiet, although the tranquility that some found when cleaning the tombstones was evidently not present within Hinata.

A breeze broke the eerie stillness, sending a few leaves aloft, which then skittered across the ground whence gravity recalled them. Hinata whimpered a bit.

“I just need to clean up the grave and place and offering. Clean and offering. Clean and offering...”

“You can’t clean a grave from behind a tree.”

Hinata screamed, backing further against the tree, the bark digging into and scratching his skin through his shirt. “Wh-Who—Ghost?!”

From the white robes to the silver-and-black hair, the guess wasn’t unfounded.

“Nope.”

Hinata could’ve cried from relief.

“Are you lost?”

“N-no. I think....”

It was clear as day that the other was unamused by his momentary incapability, rolling his eyes and grasping Hinata’s wrist softly to tug him away from the tree. Hinata’s cheeks burned. Despite his mild mortification, he felt a wash of gratitude flood him.

Eventually, Hinata was stood before his father’s grave, and his palm was pressed snugly against the silver-black haired person’s. Their fingers loosened their clasp, but didn’t unwind fully, not until Hinata heard the jingle of bells and a breeze brush his side, his hand suddenly empty.

And then, with another gust and another jingle, the other returned, a broom and dustpan firmly in his grasp. “I’ll bring something to clean the headstone with. Sweep the ground, for now.”

Hinata really shouldn’t have been surprised that this person was supernatural, honestly. His features were far too serene and eyes too present for him have been just a normal person around his age, after all. Not that Hinata knows very many normal people.

The two of them cleaned quite efficiently, and the other, introducing himself as Kita Shinsuke, even brought incense for Hinata to light. Hinata offered him some of the food his mom had made as the offering for his father, but Kita said it wouldn’t be right to eat it if it wasn’t intended for him.

“Then if I make you something, will you eat it? I wanna thank you for your help! You really saved me today!”

“I’d be willing to eat what you make, although I won’t say I like it if it doesn’t taste good.”

Hinata smiled determinedly, “I’ll make the best lunch ever, I promise!”

Kita, despite his strong inclination of doubt, couldn’t help but smile back, albeit nearly unnoticably.

•

Kageyama was thankfully not home for the first five attempts at making Kita a lunch box, although he did bear witness to the latter half of them, which was still unfortunate. Hinata’s mother would have scolded him, but she and Natsu were too busy speculating about why he was making the lunch and occasionally strolling in to assist him.

“It’s done!” Hinata cried after the twelfth try. Kageyama dutifully kept his mouth shut, for once, eyeing Hinata’s hands and steering the redhead to the bathroom to clean up.

•

“Kita-san!!!!” Hinata called out to the cemetery, his bright aura dispelling the eeriness of the location. “Kita-saaaaan!!!”

“You shouldn’t shout in a place like this. It’s rude,” Kita murmured, his hand settling over Hinata’s mouth. “Will you behave?” The redhead nodded, and Kita slowly removed his palm. “So, what’d you need?”

Hinata proferred a box wrapped with a yellow cloth dotted with cats. “I brought you lunch, like I promised!”

Kita looked a little taken aback, and Hinata wondered if he was imagining the way Kita’s hair seemed to twitch. “You remembered?”

“It was only like, two days ago! How could I forget? Especially when Kita-san saved me from ghosts and stuff—”

“—That didn’t happen. There wasn’t a single ghost—”

“—it’d be ungrateful of me if I didn’t make good on my promise!”

Kita’s almost couldn’t handle watching Hinata break out into a grin. His eyes felt strained, like he was staring directly into the sun, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Softly, he let the corners of his lips push up, and he accepted the box gingerly.

“Let’s eat elsewhere,” he offered, urging Hinata to hold onto him by the shoulder. He jumped, one foot landing before the other onto a hill of long grass overlooking flower fields. A forest stood off to the right, and a single tree sat behind them, providing a bit of shade.

Hinata wasn’t quite prepared for the sudden transport, stumbling to his knees before gazing around in wonder.

Kita helped him up. “It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

“Yeah!”

Eventually the two of them settled to the ground, Hinata watching anxiously as Kita opened the lunchbox.

Kita paused, observing Hinata’s jitters. “It’s not poisoned, is it?”

He shook his head, Kita breathing a chuckle.

“It was a joke. Thank you for the meal.” His hands pressed together in a momentary prayer, and then he lifted a single octopus-hot-dog-weiner to his mouth. Hinata watched him intently, and Kita knew before it hit his tongue that Hinata put in a lot of effort when making the meal. Just that info made it delicious, but once he’d swallowed it, he eagerly sought more, trying some of the riceballs and vegetables on the sides. He saved the fruit for last.

“Is it good? Do you like it?”

Kita nodded serenely, offering an octodog to the redhead. Hinata immediately latched on and slid the octodog out from between the chop sticks. Kita had to avert his eyes, only to spot the bandages wrapping Hinata’s fingers and parts of his palms.

“You’re hurt.”

“Oh, yeah! I accidentally chopped my fingers, and burned them. I stopped hurting myself as much after the fourth try, though!”

“How many tries did you take?”

“Twelve!”

“Sounds like you wasted a lot of food,” Kita commented. At that, Hinata pulled a pouty smile on his face that was a bit too adorable to not gain amusement from, though Kita consoled him with a ruffle of his hair.

They descended into a comfortable quiet.

After ten minutes, which. Kita almost wished could have been eternity, Hinata tugged on his sleeve. “Will you let me make you lunch again?” He mumbled, looking up through his lashes.

•

“I smell food.”

“That’s just because you’re a damn glutton.”

“What was that? You wanna say that again you bastard?”

“If I’m a bastard then so are you!”

Fists flew, the sound of fighting accompanied by shouts and grunts. Kita stepped in just as Osamu bit Atsumu’s calf and Atsumu yanked his hair. 

“Why is it that every time one of you speaks, it comes to this? Do you find amusement in wasting your minimal energy on healing injuries that could have been avoided?”

The twins’ ears flattened against their skulls, their big, dejected eyes ineffective against Kita’s bland disposition. 

“Sorry.”

“Sorry.”

Kita breezed past them, starting up the electric kettle to prepare himself some tea. 

Osamu and Atsumu perked up at once. 

“Your steps are bouncier,” Atsumu piped, at the same time as Osamu commented, “You smell like food.” They then made eye contact with each other and pointed, simultaneously saying, “Oh hey, you’re right!”

The two small fox spirits proceeded to prod at him endlessly regarding his seemingly ‘good mood’, and the tiny smile he had as he batted them away seemed to only fuel their suspicions. 

“Woah... Tsumu, he’s got more energy, too.”

“Yeah, it’s radiating!” 

They likely absorbed some of the stray energy coming off him, growing a little taller. Instead of looking like toddlers, they now were the equivalent size of a six year-old human. It was almost strange to see them this way.

Kita didn’t let his confusion show on his face, though his tail swished slightly, enough to peek out of his robes. His ears also raised off the top of his head, finally, twitching as he considered where the extra energy came from.

Was it the lunch?

“Kita-san, what did you do? Did you eat someone?”

“No, I don’t do things that I don’t let you two do.”

The twins seemed to communicate with just eye-contact, and it was one of those rare occasions where Kita couldn’t quite decipher what they intended to do with the information they had.

•

Hinata always felt antsy during the moments Kita prayed--just between the “Thanks for the meal,” and the first bite he’d take of the food Hinata prepared for him. This time, Kita brought with him a small snack in exchange for Hinata’s. 

“You’ve gotten better,” he commented after a swallow. He always wiped his mouth between bites instead of licking his lips, meticulously keeping the tissue folded in a particular manner. “I think the fried rice could use a bit more salt next time, though.”

“Ah, thank you! I’ll remember that!”

It felt like an escape to spend time with Kita, somewhere far away and unknown. Like a secret retreat, away from all of the other supernatural beings that he contracted, and away from the stress of school and tests and life. Hinata felt like he got more chipper than usual after their picnics. 

Unbeknownst to Hinata, the same could be said about Kita. They’d only meet once or twice per week, and yet the silverette couldn’t always keep his smiles at bay even days after their lunches. Furthermore, the surges of extra energy from the meals helped him keep a better eye on his troublesome junior foxes, even allowing them to ‘age up’ when they’d latch onto him.

Speaking of those troublemakers...

“Did you hear that?” Hinata asked him, peering over at a spot in the long grass. “I think someone’s there.”

Kita sighed, brushing off his pants and preparing to grab his companions and send them home. However, before he could begin to walk over, Hinata was crouched in front of the patch where the twins hid, smiling at them disarmingly. 

“Are you two lost?” 

The silverette joined him with a hand on his shoulder.

“They’re not lost, don’t worry. They’re with me.”

Hinata grinned at them. “You’re Kita-san’s friends? Nice to meet you!” 

Their eyes widened just a bit, tails swishing.

Kita knew it was inevitable that the twins would get interested, but he should’ve known that it was going to happen much sooner than he’d have ever hoped.

•

Days later, Hinata presented two extra boxes, one with a silver-blue wrapping and the other with a sunset-gold. “I’ve brought some for them, too. The little foxes.” 

“Atsumu might not eat it,” Kita warned, “Although if Osamu eats first, then he’ll probably get hungry and give in.”

“Which one’s which?” 

Kita’s eyes gleamed. “I’ll let you figure that out.”

The twins did not come to spy on them this time, but Kita dutifully brought the lunchboxes to their cabin once Hinata left. As expected, Osamu dug right in, and Atsumu held out as long as he could before giving into his competitive nature. The twins choked on the food in their efforts to finish eating before the other (Osamu won), but when they finished, their bodies were at the approximate age of 13. 

Even more impressive than that, though, was that they remained older for a lot longer than they usually do with extra energy, reverting back gradually over the course of a few days rather than the standard overnight regression.

If Hinata’s cooking alone could produce such results, then what would a contract do? ...What would his blood do?

Kita closed his eyes and banished the thoughts before they could fully manifest.

•

• Part 10 of (?) •

• I really liked writing Kita. I feel like he’d actually really like Hinata, since Hinata’s always been really hardworking and puts in all this effort to be better. I think Hinata would really like that Kita’s attentive and a good listener, so he could ramble endlessly if he wanted and Kita would be content to listen. •  

• Also, anybody curious as to why Osamu and Atsumu ‘age up’ and ‘revert’ to a younger state? •

•• Send Asks for more! Feel free to ask about characters and send Headcanons! Or if u wanna just talk Haikyuu/ships, I’m good with that too! :) and for other parts, search the “summoner au” tag on my blog and you’ll find em! ••

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[actualhumansunshine]

Just want to add that yesterday a fan claimed that SH went to #1 in the US because of Niall’s constant promo. Nothing could be further from the truth. He had 3 TV performances in the 3 weeks after it dropped in May and then nothing until September except some local radio things. That song went to #1 because Capitol radio team did all the work. We wanted real promo so badly to go top 10, and there had been nothing for months. For the 3 months of the summer of 2017, SH only moved because of radio.

sorry, but that is absolutely, demonstrably not true??? here’s a summary of how promo for that song went:

- the song dropped on thurs may 4. he spent release day and the friday after doing phone ins, twitter q&a's, and other bits of promo

- over the next week, a slow trickle of interviews from around the world were released

- fri may 12 was his first radio show where he played OTL for the first time

- sat may 13 was wango tango, which was broadcast live online

- mon may 15, the slow hands lyric video was released and he officially started the promo push at stations in and around LA, which continued over the next few days

- wed may 17, he filmed ellen, which aired the following day

- thurs may 18, he started 2 weeks of traveling across the country doing radio shows, appearances at stations, live performances, and q&a's for local fans (a few of which were also broadcast online). that included stops in chicago, minneapolis, las vegas, nashville, baltimore, DC, NYC, and boston

- in the midst of that, thurs may 25, his billboard feature was released and he filmed an appearance the tonight show to air that night, and then mon may 29, he performed on the today show

- after finishing the US push on may 31, he immediately went back to the UK to begin the international push

- thurs june 1, niall's tmrw magazine cover was announced

- sun june 4, he performed at ari's one love manchester concert, which was live-streamed around the world

- mon june 5, he appeared and performed on BBC's the one show

- wed june 7, he had a press junket day for outlets in the UK & ireland, which were released over the following days and weeks

- thurs june 8, his first ever solo live lounge

- sat june 10, performed at capital's summertime ball

- sun june 11, his notion magazine cover was announced

- over the next week, he did promo and appearances around europe, particularly in germany and sweden

- fri june 16, he was back in london to perform at the 500 words final, which was broadcast live on bbcr2

- from there, he went straight to canada for his MMVAs performance on sun june 18, then spent a day or two doing promo and appearances around toronto

- he had a few days off before going back to the US for a few more radio shows over the next weekend (june 23-25) in indianapolis, chicago, and detroit

- it was almost a full week before he showed back up in australia on thurs june 29 and spent two days doing tons of radio appearances, tv appearances, performances, all leading up to his performance on the voice au on sun july 2

- tues july 4, he went over to japan, then did a junket the next day

- then he went to singapore and did more promo, including a junket for southeast asian countries and a performance / q&a for fans on fri july 7

- after that he went back to the UK for some time off, but the flicker sessions tour was announced on mon july 10 and there was a fairly constant stream of backlogged promo still being released

- sun july 16, he performed on the voice kids uk (i'm pretty sure it was the finale, but don't quote me on that)

- again he disappeared for a while, took some time off, and—at least as far as i remember—didn't resurface again (at least on the music side) until just before the flicker sessions tour was about to start

and then again with that, if you'll remember, for the first half of the tour leading up to the album release date, they had a system where he'd do the show that night, then the next day was a press junket in that city, then they'd travel to the next place. so during that time, he was able to do even MORE promo in ireland, the UK, europe, australia, japan, etc, and eventually making his way back to the US for more promo and to the iheart radio festival in vegas on sun sept 23, which is where he was when he was officially announced as #1 on the top 40 charts, which was followed by peaking on the hot 100 at #11 that week.

when you look at that, how the fuck can you say that he didn’t do anything??? even if you take away the international promo, which i think would be a huge disservice to him and the amount of work he put in to push that single, there was still a good month there where he was busting his ass traveling across the US and building goodwill with different radio stations and outlets???? and i don’t think it mATTERS if radio was the primary driving force behind the song in the charts, that’s in no way a knock to it or the success it achieved in my eyes, cause at the end of the day, it still got to where it was off the back of the work that HE put into it. maybe there’s more that could have been done to push it into the hot 100 top 10, but maybe there wasn’t, who really knows at this point. for me, the most important thing is just recognizing the amount of work that he DID put into it and the fact that he wasn’t just sitting on his ass waiting for it to happen or going MIA for days or weeks at a time. that alone makes the success it DID achieve something worth being proud of, even if it wasn’t quite to the level that he or we may have wanted it to get yk??

[moonraccoon-exe]

Hey Coon! Idk if you have already gotten a message from me, I was on mobile and the app crashed :°D so I'm writing again just in case. Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and ask how you're doing! Soon I'll be free from exams and will catch up with stuff, including your fics. Also, you made me read Corqi for the first time and wtf, I love it. I've been reading Among Ruins and idk if you saw my comment, but I want to say it again: you've done a great job with that angst, ahah (*uncontrollable sobs*)

ALSKJDFLKAGJ AKLJASKLF GADKLADJFKLASFJ AKLDGJALKFJ ASLKJALKDGJADKLFJ

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPS

PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD BUDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

PURRRKWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD BUDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

YOOOOOOOUUUUUU

PHENOMENAL CREATURE

MADE OF SWEETNESS, YOU KIND AND ADORABLE THING. PRECIOUS AND KIND HOOMAN WITH A GOOD HEART AND NICE WORDS, YOU MARVELOUS WONDER, YOU BEAUTIFUL THING, HOW DO I SMACK YOU WITH LOVE, HOW- I’M THROWING AT YOU ALL THAT ICANFIND BUT IT’S NOT ENOUGH K AJSDKLJGADKGJAK HOW DO I EXPRESS MY AFFECTION HOW DO I EXPRESS MY APPRECIATION HOW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*INSERT GIF OF BIRD SCREAMING*

YOU APPEAR IN MY INBOX WITH NO WARNING, WHICH BLOWS MY OFF MY CHAIR ENOUGH ALREADY BECAUSE DAMN YOUR PRESENCE ALONE BRIGHTENS MY DAY AND MAKES IT SO HAPPY, AND THEN YOU THROW AT ME BEAUTIFUL AND NICE WORDS AND A LOT OF POSITIVITY, AND THEN YOU TALK TO ME ABOUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE FICS AND PRAISE IT!?!?!?!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*COMBUSTING*

*MOONRACCOON.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING AND CANNOT REBOOT*

*will force self to reboot under the cut hnhgfhg*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

PURRRKWOOD BUDDY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I CAN’T STOP SCREAMING AKSJDKALGJ AKLDGJDLKGJSDG

*GOES AWAY TO TAKE A BREATH*

PURRRKWOOD BUDDY

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO

MAKE ME HAVE A HEART ATTACK!?!?!?!

YOU’RE KILLING ME WITH ALL YOUR SWEET EXISTENCE. ALL YOUR KINDNESS. I still haven’t properly thank you for the you know what you did in PMs, I just- have taken so long because life has either smacked me with stuff to do or I don’t feel I have the proper words or energy to thank you as I want to do it, it’s really still so beyond me and so mindblowing, I still can’t believe it… OTL

aND THEN YOU DROP HERE WITH MORE SWEETNESS THAT FILLS MY HEART SO MUCH, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH, YOU’RE GIVING ME SO MUCH LOVE, MY HEART CAN’T CONTAIN ALL OF IT KLAJSDKLADJG A *SOBS*

Anyways, buddy, off to answer your message!!

D:

GASPS

Do you mean Tumblr ate a previous ask??? fUCK, FUCK- LISTEN-

If you sent a previous ask, it never made it in!! But if you mean in PMs, yes, it’s there!! Just as I said, and I’m sorry because of how stupid it sounds, but I’ve been waiting when I have the appropriate energy to reply to you as you deserve. I’ve let my conversations pile up and I thinkt hat answering the short ones one by one is easier so to not let them pile up, but they keep piling OTL 

So that’s why I haven’t replied. Yours is one of my prettiest conversations and one that I value a lot so I’ve been trying to answer as it deserves, not just with a random “lol kay”, it’s just…taken me a while OTL

So yes! No asks from you other than these two, and the PMs are there, and I hope to answer soon!

If you meant the comment on AO3, it was there too!! Just exactly the day that you dropped this ask I was going to (and actually did) answer that AO3 comment!!! It was a TREASURE! 

The reason behind it is, the early morning (some hours before you dropped the comment) got very bad for me. Some silly thing here in Tumblr that brought me down on the dumps. I don’t know if you saw it, but there was a week I was like…grey? Like not answering with my usual bubbliness. It was because of what happened, I was trying to contain myself (long story short, some people out of fandom found me via another post, and started making fun of my bubbly and toddler-like attitude when I reply to some posts OTL So I felt embarrassed and observed, like people were clicking my username just to spy and see what I was doing and what else I said hnngnhg).

So yeah, that and another little but diverse things made (have made) of the past 2 weeks sort of messy and miserable in a funny way, hahaha, you know, like the little things such as you’ve got soap on your hands and water runs out, etc. Nothing serious, but it still didn’t help OTL

So just like your PMs, because your AO3 comment was SO MEANINGFUL to me and an absolute treasure, I was trying to be back to my happy self before I replied. That’s why it took me like 10 days to reply! I’m so, so sorry!!! :(

ANYWAY I’M TALKING TOO MUCH AND I  JUST REPLIED ONE SENTENCE OF YOUR ASK AHAHAHA ah OTL

HI HELLO MY DEAREST BUDDY, HELLO!!!

It’s so so so SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO beautiful to hear from you again!!! I promise to get back to PMs soon so we can talk more often, but yes, it’s so nice and dear to see you around again. It makes me SO HAPPY to see you around, you have no idea. You’re a good friend to me and I value you a lot, so it makes me ECSTATIC to hear from you. Thank you so much for saying hello. ❤

I’m doing okay! I’ve healed really good. As said, just minor struggles like silly one-sided crushes and the soap on the hands, dammit, but that’s okay! I’m healed, there’s food in the fridge, I have my puppo doggo and my family, and life is pretty despite the little bumps in the way :3

What about you, my dear friend? Have you been well? Doing alright and sleeping nice?

Hooray for soon being done with exams!!! It hasn’t been THAT long since you dropped this ask, but are you done now? Or not yet? Either way, I wish you the BEST and greatest of success in your exams, buddy!! I know you’re going to do/did phenomenally FANTASTIC. It feels like you work very hard in what you do, so I have no doubts you’ll do great!! Sending you the MOST LUCKIEST AND MOST MAGICAL, HAPPIEST RACCOONIE VIBES FOR SUCCESS AND GOOD RESULTS!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

*mentions Corqi*

*INSTANTLY HIGH PITCHED SCREECH AND COMBUSTING AND EXPLODES*

“you made me read Croqi for the first time and wtf I love it”

*SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

*EXPLODES*

*ASCENDS TO NINTH HEAVEN*

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY FUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

AKSLDJAJFKL AS JFALKSGJALKDJAKLFJAS KLFAKL JGA

*UNCONTROLLABLY SHORT CIRCUITING AND FLAILING ON THE GROUND*

BUDDY

I COULD GO ON REACTING AND SCREAMING FOR TEN PAGES MORE BECAUSE OF THE EXCITEMENT THAT WHAT YOU SAID MAKES ME FEEL, BUT I WOULD NEVER END GODDAMMIT, JUST KNOW- I’M NOWHERE NEAR YELLING ALL THAT I WANT TO YELL AND YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND ALL THE SCREECHING I FEEL. YOU CAN’T IT’S SO MUCH. MY WHOLE SOUL IS SCREAMING AND SPASMING ON THE GROUND AND FLAILING LIKE ONE OF THOSE INFLATABLE FLAILING TUBE STICKMAN FIGURES KLASJD AGOIJASFLAKSJFA

*dROWNS*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Aah, buddy!!!! I know I said it already over in AO3, but the fact that you decided to give Corqi a chance? With one of MY fics!?!?!?! IT’S SO WONDERFUL, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HYSTERICALLY HAPPY THAT MAKES ME KALSJDKALJF ;A;

Buddy, I have literally NO idea how to thank you enough or properly NO IDEA. Zero clue, I have no way on this earth to thank you enough or to let you know how excited all this makes me feel, aaah. Among Ruins specifically is a long story that can come off as boring to many, usually rarepairs do much better with short little ficlets to catch the attention. So the fact that you decided to give the pair a go with the longest fic there is for it? Holy celestial moogles, buddy, that is- so incredible, I have no way to put it in words.

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I know I may sound repetitive from what I said over in AO3, but really, the fact that you decided to give both the pairing and that specific fic a go jsut because I’ve been talking about it, thatmeans a lot to me, like you have no idea. I already had enough with not knowing how to thank you for the ko-fi, I’m entirely CLUELESS right now. Your support is really…mindblowing and doesn’t fit in my head. I’m not sure I’ve processed it at all, it’s truly mindblowing and leaves me speechless!!

Thank you. I can’t and won’t say it enough times so you feel it. Just thank you. For all your beautiful support. Thank you for giving Corqi and Among Ruins a chance, it really really means a LOT to me! I was very scared it would have poor reception, but it’s done good enough, and the fact that you started reading it and that you’re enjoying? It feels like one of the most exquisite victories I’ve had. I know it’s just fanfiction, but it’s still writing, it’s MY writing, and it means a lot to me that you gave it a chance…

:’)

Buddy, thank you so much. Your support is so huge, it doesn’t fit in my heart. I have no way to give you back all the mountain of love and support you’ve given me, I try but it just feels like every pebble I give you, you return as a mountain aaah!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m SO happy that you decided to give it a chance!! I have a lot of future plans for that fic, and I’m really excited to write it all, so it means a lot that you’re enjoying of it. :’)

Thank you so much for thinking I did well on the angst, too!! In all honesty I don’t think I made justice to chapter 6 at all, as it’s more a cinematographic in my head and I don’t think the way I put it into words was enough hnhngfnhfg, but it had a good reception so I’m very happy that you people could capture the sadness of the moment!!!

Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m happy I did well on the angst! It was basically the…core of the story? Like the roots. What gives sense tothe rest. So it was important to me that it turned out okay, and I’m happy you think it did. Thank you so much, it gives me so much confidence and makes me so happy <3

THANK YOU SO MUCH! ❤

Also, thank you lots for giving Corqi a chance!! I did say as half-a-joke half-a-statement that I was going to drown everyone in Corqi, I just didn’t think I would get to do it ahahaha! I’m happy you’re onto the ship now, though. It’s good to have you here!

I do hope to hear from you soon again, Purrrkwood, buddy!!! You’re a delight to read and a joy to talk with, I could never get tired of your presence. Gods, thank you so much for taking the time and effort of writing to me, you have no idea how happy you’ve made me. :’)

But anyways, that’s it, buddy!! Thanks a lot for everything again, and sorry it took me a while to answer!!

AND OF COURSE I’VE BEEN SENDING YOU THE MAGICAL VIBES!!! Even if I don’t answer straight away, I read my asks as soon as I see them there, and do pay attention. So you can bet all seven rings of my tail that I’ve been sending you SPONGEY SQUISHY MAGIC VIBES. Have they worked?

Even then, I do am gonna send more now because there’s something magical about seeing them written, sO HERE I GO

*FOCUSES*

I’M CHARGING UP.

HNN-

HNNNHGG….

STRESSFUL TIMES, HUH. THESE MEAN BULLIES. HOW DARE THEY APPEAR. 

I CAN’T MAKE THEM GO AWAY BUT I CAN EASE IT AND HELP SO THEY EVENTUALLY FADE SO HERE I GO.

I CHARGE UP.

MY SPECIAL VIBES THAT ARE SPECIFICALLY MADE FOR STRESSFUL TIMES.

MAGICAL MOON RACCOON SPARKLES, DELUXE SPECIAL EDITION, ANTI-STRESS VERSION 2.0

HNNHGNHGHG….

CHARGING….UP…..

C H A R G I N G    U P … .… …

ALL THE MOST MAGICAL

STRONGEST

MOST POWERFUL

SQUISHIEST

SPONGIEST

FLUFFIEST

MOST RINGED AND BOUNCY

BUBBLIEST

MOST JOYFUL

HAPPIEST, LUCKIEST

MOST

POWERFUL

RACCOON VIBES

A L L 

FOR

YOU

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡.☆*:.｡. ☆*:.｡☆*:.｡. ☆*:.｡☆*:.｡. ☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆ .｡.:*☆

ALL THE MAGIC!

*EXPLODES INTO A THOUSAND SNOWFLAKES*

Ah.

Aah…. I’m ded.

bUT THAT’S OKAY! I’ll recharge the magic later so don’t worry about the maccoonie! :D

I just hope the stressful times can ease and calm down, buddy!!! You deserve happy and good times. I hope school treats you nicely, and life even better. Sending you all the magic not just for luck and success, but also they contain all the raccoonie love this maccoonie feels for you, so I hope that if it fixes nothing, you can at least cheer up! <3

If you need more magic, you tell me, okay, buddy!? (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ

Lots of hugs back to you!! All the squishy, fluffy raccoonie snuggles, have them askldjalkfj, ALL OF THEM aaah!

I hope you’re having a BEAUTIFUL day or night, buddy! Thanks a lot for everything, and lots of hugs back to you!! ( ´ ▽ ` )

[jazlynriddle-legacy]

Welcome to your life - Pt 3:

It's My Own Design Ch 18:

Summary:

Ominis fought to control his expression, to keep his hands from trembling. Five years. Five years since he'd seen his parents, and this. This was the reason they'd given him the honour of their time? This was the reason they'd sought him out at Hogwarts?

The bitterness welling up within him was thick enough to gag on.

New year, new allies, new responsibilities, new avenues of revenue, and new aspects of their own Ancient Magic to explore. As the Keeper and their partners enter their last year at Hogwarts, it remains to be seen if the new school year will bring with it new problems or adversaries, but they are confident in the strength of their relationship with Sebastian and Ominis. The three of them would endure, no matter what befell them.

And if they were wrong?

What a joke, they would suffer no alternative.

Warnings: Sebastian x MC x Ominis! Drug Addiction! Spoilers! Slow-burn corruption! Dark content! Fucked up 1800s orphanages! MC has no love for Anne or Solomon! Dubious happy ending (it's happy for MC, Seb and Ominis at least).

You can also read on AO3! (chapter specific warnings below)

Notes:

Warnings: Depictions of death and poor living conditions, and a very very very unreliable narrator that uses a lot of slurs and vulgarities x’)

Almost 10.7k words, good lord, it's supposed to be going down not up! TvT

I'm sure, last chapter, the emotional drama took the front seat strongly enough to overshadow Tobbs’ owner being put up on the chopping block, but I hope ya'll were excited for some torture of the man responsible for what was probably the darkest quest after Sebastian's Shadow questline.

Also, I know the Romani people were referred to during the 1890s with the slur “gypsies”, due to the misconception that they were from Egypt, but there’s already going to be a lot of very disgusting sexist slurs in this chapter too, (I deeply apologise for that in advance OTL) so I didn’t use the word gypsy. Please forgive the historical inaccuracy there, but I feel really gross after writing so many slurs and I didn’t want to put one into the Keeper’s mouth too.

Also, this chapter's end notes are monstrously long.

Now, I usually say you can skip my notes, but for this chapter and the next, please read the end notes. I do not want these two chapters misunderstood.

Aaand I'm about to be absolutely swamped so I'll need to skip an upload again. My next two weeks are completely full- x’) So, the next chapter will go up in 4 weeks time! Sorry!

“If I'm reading this right, we should take that path a mile further.” Sebastian lowered the map that he'd been scrutinising and gestured towards a rather dark and dirty alley, just off to the side of the road.

Nodding, the Keeper turned their gaze from the rather beautifully designed, snow coated park in the middle of the bustling city and led Sebastian down into the alley. So far, what they'd seen of Edinburgh's Princes Street Gardens had been quite lovely, but from the looks of this alleyway, the Rogue guild was situated within the Old Town, in other words, the slums.

Unsurprising in all honesty, their line of work did best in the shadows and in the wake of suffering.

The Old Town slums themselves were... not so different from what the Keeper was used to, back in London. While the buildings were much older, taller and a bit less disorganised than the haphazardly scattered houses in their hometown, the atmosphere was remarkably nostalgic in the worst possible way.

The black sludge of sticky ash mudded snow clung to their boots and dragged at the hems of their cloak, visible even under the late afternoon light. While it was some mercy that the cloud of smoke in these slums wasn't quite as suffocating as London's, each breath still came with the burning remnants of open fires, and they could hear Sebastian coughing every so often.

Between the accompanying stench of rotting dung, flesh and water, and streets littered with the ill and the poor, the Keeper was quite glad to have placed a sticking charm on their satchel, to keep it attached to their side. They would hate to drop it into the filthy muck or have it stolen or pickpocketed.

As they walked, Sebastian seemed to become increasingly horrified by the conditions, and his steps soon halted, staring at what appeared to be the frozen corpses of four children tucked in an alcove between two buildings.

Noticing this, the Keeper backtracked to stand by him. “Sebastian?”

“Is no one going to...” Sebastian murmured, casting his incredulous gaze about the street, watching as a hazy eyed man stumbled past with a bottle in hand, not even blinking at the sight.

“Love.” The Keeper placed a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder, drawing his gaze as they spoke. “We shouldn't linger. Not in a place like this.”

Sebastian's eyes were dark and almost haunted as he stared at them, and it was easy to guess what was on his mind.

“Don't think about that.” The Keeper shook their head. “I'm alive, I'm here.”

“...you lived like this... for fourteen years.” Sebastian's jaw was tight, and his brow furrowed.

“And I'd rather forget it.” The Keeper chuckled wryly.

“Can you?”

“I can try.” They shrugged. “Come on.”

The Keeper continued down the path but had only taken a few steps when a woman with heavy makeup, and far too little clothing for this weather, sidled up to Sebastian's side, cooing sweetly. “Left on your lonesome, handsome? I know how to take care of a young gent like you.”

Sebastian stood stiffly, as her shoulder brushed up against his, a look of consternation on his face, and the Keeper huffed irritably, vultures the lot of them, though this presented a fine opportunity.

“I-” Sebastian stepped away from her with a guilty expression.

“Am taken.” The Keeper finished for him, approaching the prostitute. “But I have a counteroffer for you. Have you seen this man ‘round these parts?”

The Keeper presented her with the photo of Frederick Taylor that their contractor had provided, having already folded the picture to hide the house elf.

The prostitute squinted at the frozen image for a thoughtful moment. “Think so, looks rather familiar. Might have seen the bloke entering that odd pub down the road a time or two.”

“The Rowdy Rogue?” The Keeper asked as they tucked the picture away.

She nodded. “Aye, tha'd be the one.”

“My thanks, here's a small token of appreciation.” Nodding, the Keeper fished a handful of muggle pennies out of their satchel, that they'd prepared for information gathering, and dropped them in her hand. That should be enough to pay for a few meals and perhaps even a coat.

Taking the money with a delighted smile, she winked. “Should you be wantin’ anythin’ else, don't be a stranger, love.”

With that, the prostitute sashayed past the Keeper, running a hand down their arm meaningfully as she left.

Snorting, they returned their attention to Sebastian, who still looked troubled. “What is it, Sebastian?”

“You-” His voice cracked. “Did you have to do that too?”

“Proposition strangers?” They asked and he gave them a discomforted nod. “Not quite, I was already...”

A bitter smile stretched across their face.

“...property when I started that, well, line of work.”

The look of pain on his face caught them off guard, and in the next moment, the Keeper found themselves in his firm embrace. They could feel his hands tremble, gripped tight around their shoulders, his chest warm against theirs and his breath shaky by their ear, warming their cheek and rising in a plume of white.

Was it anger? Sorrow? Fear? They wondered what he was feeling, stroked a hand over his hair soothingly, while he clutched at them as though they too would dissipate like vapour if he let go.

Several minutes passed this way, before his grip finally loosened and they touched his cheek gently. “Feeling better?”

He nodded mutely, before his gaze returned to the bodies of the children. “I know we have work to do, but can we do something for them?”

The Keeper gave him a fond, if bewildered smile, what a strange thing to say. The children were dead, what could the living possibly do for those that were no longer here?

“I don't see why not, but what have you in mind?” They asked, when they failed to think of anything.

Sebastian cast his eyes about with an uncertain frown. “...it's cold out here.”

Cold? They were dea- ah, I see. Understanding, the Keeper nodded. “Of course. I don't think we can bury them in the middle of the city, but I can spare them the indignity.”

When he nodded, they glanced about to make sure no one was watching, before taking a sip of energy from their armlet and, drawing their wand, the Keeper cast a high-powered Evanesco at the bodies of the children, vanishing them in a flash of red.

“Were that we could do more.” Sebastian murmured grimly as they holstered their wand again.

“Some problems can be alleviated by the kindness of the privileged and the common people, but such on this scale can only truly be resolved by kings. Alas, we are neither kings nor kingmakers.” The Keeper shook their head and took Sebastian's hand in theirs. “Come, it does little to carry the burdens of others, when doing so doesn't lighten it for them.”

Nodding again, Sebastian allowed them to pull him from that place, as the snow began to fall, covering the empty spaces with a fresh layer of white.

Their walk continued in subdued silence for several minutes more, before they arrived at a rather respectable looking establishment. No surprise, considering that its clientele were wizardkind, rather than the impoverished muggles that populated this part of the city.

The note Alasdair had given them listed the Rowdy Rogue's opening hours from ten in the night till six in the morning, but the Keeper was, again unsurprised, that it was open anyway, since it likely had a regular business outside guild hours. Much like how the Phantom's Flask was an inn during the day.

They'd originally intended to just scope out the place before coming back in the night, but if the target conveniently frequented the bar, they might as well ask around.

So, they pushed open the rustic door and slipped inside with Sebastian, finding said inside to be just as rustic in decor. Not unappealing, but they much preferred the Phantom's sleek design. Their chosen chair squeaked as they took a seat, and the Keeper wondered why so many of them looked new, while the rest of the furniture appeared as old as the building.

And why were the tables bolted to the floor?

“Hey.” Sebastian tugged on their sleeve. “Well, would you look at that.”

He gestured across the sparsely populated pub, to the waitress, a woman who looked incredibly familiar, frowning intently down at a notepad. None other than the woman who'd survived her stint as a guest of Dìon. The first, and likely, last.

The Keeper chuckled. “Well, I'll be damned. Who would've thought we'd meet her here, of all places.”

“And isn't that the man who found her?” Sebastian nodded at the middle-aged bartender as he poked the woman in the arm, startling her out of her focus and nudging her towards the Keeper's table encouragingly.

“Looks like.” The Keeper agreed, wondering if the bartender was guildmaster Gilfred, as the familiar waitress came to their table.

“...hi, it's um, been a while since we've had someone new here, w- what can I get you? Butterbeers or- or perhaps something to eat?” The waitress asked with a nervous smile, an earnest air about her that made her look younger than they'd ever seen, or perhaps simply more innocent.

“Butterbeers would be sufficient, we're looking for someone actually. Frederick Taylor, I have something to pass to him.” The Keeper answered. “He mentioned coming here when last we spoke, so I was hoping we'd be able to find him if we dropped by.”

“Fred? Yeah, he's a regular, comes by for dinner and drinks sometimes. If you stop by around five tomorrow, he'll probably show up.” The woman nodded absently, before scurrying back to the bar counter without another word.

She spoke with the bartender, who gave her a fond smile and said a few words, before passing her a pair of full mugs.

Returning to Sebastian and the Keeper, with their drinks, she gave them another nervous smile. “You sure I can't tempt you with something to eat? James makes the best fish and chips south of Nor Loch.”

“James?” Sebastian echoed, a wry and bemused smile on his face as he and the Keeper accepted their mugs.

“Yes, the, erm, bartender, he sort of owns this establishment.” The woman gestured vaguely towards the bartender and the Keeper hummed thoughtfully. They supposed that while Alasdair was both owner of the Phantom's Flask and guildmaster of the Phantoms, that wasn't necessarily the case elsewhere.

It might not be a bad idea to hang around a little longer, even if it was already six. Sebastian could probably use a break from the bleak setting outside the pub, and they'd already acquired a means of finding their target, they might as well ask some questions and see what they could find out.

Besides, they were admittedly a tad curious what the woman was doing with her second life.

“Why not, we can share a plate. How long have you been working here?” The Keeper asked, taking a sip from their mug. They were well aware how long she'd been here, but it felt like a reasonable question for a stranger to ask.

“Not very long.” She answered, her eyes soft and a more natural smile forming on her face, and it felt rather surreal to see such a pleasant expression on the previously sour-faced woman. “I started working for James here about a year ago, he helped me out ‘n took me in when I was at my lowest in... well, I suppose, in memory.”

The Keeper just barely managed to avoid inhaling their butterbeer, but Sebastian was less lucky and spent the next few moments coughing.

“Everything alright here, Eliza?” Came a deep voice from behind the woman, and the bartender, who the Keeper could have sworn was at the bar a moment ago, appeared, giving her a concerned smile.

“I- yes, um.” The woman, who it seemed had taken on the name Eliza, shifted awkwardly on the spot and a blush crept up her neck.

“We were just curious about the pub and my boyfriend swallowed down the wrong pipe.” The Keeper chuckled, and now Sebastian was going red too.

James gave them an amused smile. “Happens to the best of us, if you'd like some water, just let us know. As for the pub, it's been in the family for years. My younger brother, Gilfred, handles the place during the night.”

So, the guildmaster was a younger sibling, interesting. The Keeper had thought it normally the case for the eldest to inherit family trades, though they supposed the brothers could have had different interests, and their parents had respected that. It was always kind of nice to see people who had nice families, assuming that was the case.

“I think some water would be appreciated.” The Keeper nodded. “Eliza was just telling us about your renowned fish and chips, and I think we can share a plate.”

“Wonderful! I assure you that you won't regret it!” James beamed, placing a gentle hand on Eliza's shoulder and whispering in her ear. “Nice work.”

“T- thank you...” She lowered her head till he'd turned away, and watched him with an adoring smile as he returned to the bar counter, before she seemed to remember herself and returned her attention to their table. “Um, I'll go get some water.”

Eliza scurried off again and Sebastian let out a sigh, drawing a curious glance from the Keeper. “Alright there, love?”

“Yes, it just- it feels rather silly. She's got a second chance, and she isn't just going for it.” Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Life's too short to be dancing around when he seems to like her too.”

“Says the one who pined after Ominis for three whole years.” The Keeper snorted and his face went red again. “Besides, she was a recluse, raised alone in the woods. Even after her memory got wiped, I doubt it'd magically make her good with people.”

“Well, Ominis is different-” Sebastian paused as Eliza returned with a cup of water for him as well as a plate of freshly fried fish and potato strips, before continuing when she'd left. “I mean, I didn't want to push, he was really awkward at first. Like her I guess... and he did say he fell in love earlier than me.”

Sebastian's expression became thoughtful, and he took a drink of water to flush his throat before continuing. “I wonder why he didn't turn out all surly like she did. It's not like his family was good. In contrast Eliza seems to have loved her father a lot, so I doubt he was a shit dad.”

“There's probably more than just nurture and environment that play a role in determining a person's personality as they grow up. Nature has an impact too.” The Keeper murmured as they set to cutting up the fish. “His blindness is a sensory experience that his family doesn't inherently understand, so unless they care enough to try, communicating with him would be more difficult.”

“Making brainwashing him harder.” Sebastian nodded, popping a chip into his mouth. “I guess it would have the same effect if the parents were just too busy to guide the kid, maybe that's what went wrong with Eliza, her dad was her only caregiver after all.”

“Seeing bad things happen to good people can make a person bitter too. As would seeing people continuously get away with evil deeds.” The Keeper gave a wry smile as they speared a piece of fish on their fork and offered it to him.

At his curious tilt of the head, they elaborated. “Eliza might have become disillusioned and ceased to believe that there are reasons to be good or kind. While Ominis, powerless as he was and regretful of his casting of the Cruciatus, longed to believe that there is an inherent universal law that actions always have consequences. That his family would also come to regret what they'd done. That there is a justice that comes about naturally.”

Sebastian accepted the bite as they spoke, enjoying the crunchiness of the fried batter and the rich flavour as he thought back to Ominis’ behaviour yesterday.

“And that's why he believes in things people ‘should’ and ‘shouldn't’, and justice but never actually does anything to bring said justice about. He thinks it'll just happen on its own, like a force of nature that ought to be.” Sebastian paused. “I think there's a word for that, Amit called it ‘karma’.”

“Is that so... Well, yes, and that's also why Ominis doesn't want the people he loves to do bad things.” The Keeper added, taking a bite of the fish as well. “After all, karma will fuck you up if you do ‘bad shit’.”

Sebastian sighed. “So, he'll never really do anything about injustice, because he thinks he can’t make any difference even if he tried, but still be anxious about those he loves doing ‘bad’ things.”

“Indeed, and such anxiety piles up, till he can’t help but lash out towards said loved ones and hurt them. Though I'm not entirely certain where his confidence in karma comes from. Normally one would instead think the opposite, after seeing his family get away with so much use of dark magic.” The Keeper gave him an amused smile when Sebastian opened his mouth in demand for more food. “Perhaps his idea of good and bad might be influenced by his aunt Noctua's beliefs - whatever they were - since she was the one who was kindest to him.”

Happily accepting another bite, Sebastian nodded absently. “Could be, I wonder if that's why he seemed to open up to Anne. She was always rather outspoken for a Slytherin, kind of like Natty.”

“Oh?” The Keeper's head tilted to the side curiously, wondering as they continued to eat and feed him occasionally, if Sebastian knew that she was supposed to have been a Gryffindor.

“Yeah, it was a month after school started, a bunch of our older housemates were bullying a half-blood and goading Ominis to join them. Anne charged over to stop them.” Sebastian explained with a grin, recalling the moment fondly.

Come on, surely the heir of Slytherin knows some good curses!

Show us what you've got, Gaunt!

...I'd really rather not...

Hey! You three, cut that out or I'll tell Professor Sharp!

Ha! A first-year wench wants to fight us?

How cute... heh heh...

Oi! Touch my sister, and I'll put you lot in the infirmary!

“Though, a prefect came along and somehow or other, we all got a detention for fighting. We served it with Ominis, and he became our friend after that.” Sebastian chuckled, recalling how offended the shy and quiet Ominis had looked, at Sebastian’s first thoughtless comment.

I'm surprised you didn't go along with them, didn't think you'd have the balls for that.

...I find that type of thing abhorrent...

Ah- what I mean is, I- well, I thought it was pretty brave. Not letting them push you around.

...brave? Me?

Y- yeah, you're normally so quiet. Not- not that that's bad, it's, well-

It's nice to have someone else in this house who hates bullying! I'm Anne, and this bumbling oaf is my twin brother, Sebastian.

...Ominis...

“He was so pretty and shy, it was all I could do to not trip on my tongue when we first started hanging out.” Sebastian laughed, accepting another bite from the Keeper before continuing. “Anne had to do most of the work getting him to relax around us at the start.”

“How'd he end up staying with you in Feldcroft?” The Keeper asked curiously, having wondered about that for quite a while.

“It was a bit of an accident. We were waiting for Anne to join us, and he just seemed so depressed about going home for the winter holidays, I kind of blurted out an invitation before I could think it through.” Sebastian grinned sheepishly. “Anne chewed me out for doing that before getting permission from Solomon.”

Sebastian! You can't just say that, what if Uncle Solomon says no?

Well, he can suck a-

Sebastian!

...it's fine, Sebastian, I don't want you to get in trouble for me...

You're worth it.

...!

I'll do whatever Uncle Solomon wants if he'll let Ominis stay.

Ugh, I'm not helping you if Uncle gets mad that you went over his head again.

“I got my uncle to agree in the end, after a long lecture about who owns the bloody cottage. Had to agree to do all the yard work for the entire holiday.” Sebastian rolled his eyes. “Probably helped that Ominis was quiet and obedient, and his parents sent him more money than he needed, so Solomon never had to pay for him, even when Ominis finally decided that he was never going back."

...Sebastian, could you- could you read the letter for me?

Er, you sure, Ominis? Al- alright...

Well? What did his parents say, Seb?

Um... well, they say that, if he's not coming home... to at least dress as fitting for one of the noble House of Gaunt... so as not to bring shame to the family name...

Are you serious, Sebastian? That's all they said? Ominis refuses to go home and that's all they have to say? What awful parents! How could they!? Terrible people! Aaaarrgh! Don't they care about him!?

...

It's fine, isn't it? You don't need them, Ominis. You have us. Anne and I, we're your family now.

...!

He still remembered how Ominis had felt, tiny fists in his shirt, tears in those beautiful pale eyes, trembling in his arms. Almost seven years ago and again yesterday morning. The more things changed, the more they also stayed the same, it seemed.

I- Sebastian... thank you.

The Keeper gave him a wry smile, inviting Ominis without permission and just barrelling through everything in his way, how very like Sebastian. “I imagine spending time around your uncle probably cemented Ominis’ simplistic ideas of right and wrong.”

Sebastian snorted, his voice slightly bitter. “No kidding, I guess Anne did too.”

“You certainly didn't, any ideas why that might be?” The Keeper asked curiously.

Sebastian wore a thoughtful expression for a few moments. “Maybe it's because I read our parents’ books.”

“Books?”

“Yeah, they were professors, and they published a few research journals on the origins of magic before the accident.” Sebastian beamed proudly, before it became sad. “We were eight when they died... Anne found their books too difficult and painful to read, but I wanted to understand them better.”

“So you studied so that you could appreciate their lives’ work.” The Keeper chuckled, that explained a lot.

“I suppose you could put it that way.” He grinned. “They were convinced that all magic was born from the same source, and it was the will of wizardkind that shaped it.”

“Sounds reasonable, Fig said something similar too. Magic is no different from any power, what matters is the one who wields it.” The Keeper mused as they fed him the last chip. “That's why it matters who is given power, more than the power itself.”

“Exactly.” Sebastian nodded, chasing the strip of potato with the rest of his butterbeer. “Uncle Solomon didn't agree though, he fought with dad a lot over that. Heard them arguing once when I couldn't sleep, something about their research being useful to the Aurors. I don't really remember why, but I think dad didn't want to give it to them.”

“Considering how shit the ministry is, I'm not particularly surprised.” The Keeper snorted as they finished their mug too. “Your parents sound like they were wise and brilliant people.”

They smiled when his face lit up. “Like you.”

Cheeks flushed with happiness, Sebastian grinned. “Never thought anyone would ever call me wise.”

“Wisdom comes with growth, and I think you've done a lot of it in the last few years.” The Keeper chuckled, waving Eliza over to pay for the meal. “Thank you for the recommendation, Eliza, the food was lovely.”

The woman wore a delighted smile as she accepted the coins and waved the two off. “Hope to see you again!”

The windows of the Rowdy Rogue were closed and there was no indication that the establishment was even open, aside from the occasional rugged looking individual entering or leaving. Under their hood, the Keeper glanced about the dimly lit street, the few lamps barely illuminating the dirty floor beneath their feet.

Slipping their Phantoms mask over their face, the Keeper entered the building and was immediately struck by how loud it was. Unlike the Phantom's Flask, the tavern was brightly lit, and in place of low murmurs were shouts, full-belly laughs and the occasional cheers as patrons exchanged bets over a pair, arm wrestling at one of the tables.

Rowdy indeed.

To their confusion, the bartender was an elderly looking lady with the darker olive skin of the Romani population, and long white hair in a loose braid, probably not guildmaster Gilfred then. Lowering their hood, the Keeper made their way to the bar, dodging the blind swings of several arms as the patrons gestured animatedly in their conversations.

When they finally made it to the bar, the Keeper spared a glance at the man sitting at it, his head resting on the counter, before asking the bartender. “Lookin’ for guildmaster Gilfred.”

The bartender gave them a lopsided grin and she promptly smacked the sleeping man on the back of the head. “Git up, son.”

“Wha-” The red-faced man with equally olive skin and rusty brown hair blinked a few times, before blinking blearily at the Keeper. “An’ whadda ya want?”

The Keeper was speechless for a moment, this was the guildmaster? Well, they could see the resemblance to his brother James, though he'd clearly inherited more of his mother's looks and speech.

“Ugh, ‘ang on. I needa drink.” The young man groaned. “Ma, gimmie a pint.”

The elderly woman rolled her eyes, but got him a large mug anyway, which he downed fast enough that even Faun would likely be impressed.

“Ah! Much bet'er.” He slammed the mug on the counter with a satisfied sigh, before turning to the Keeper and slurring. “Now whaddya want kid? Ol’ Al bet’er not've sent ya ta ask a fav'or.”

The Keeper snorted, well, if nobody was even trying to put on airs here, they'd stand out more if they did.

“Nothin’ o’ the sort.” It almost felt weird to slip back into speaking this way after all these years. “Just wanted ta give ya a ‘eads up. I'll be doin’ some business in these ‘ere parts.”

“O’ yea?” Gilfred hiccupped, giving them a lopsided grin that looked just like his mother's. “Whacha doin’? An’ hit piece?”

“A disappearin’.” The Keeper answered with an amused shrug, what a strange guildmaster. “Nothin’ more, like’as not.”

“Ha!” Gilfred barked a laugh. “Wel- hic, who's da poor sod?”

The Keeper was about to answer, when the shouting from behind them became angry and far louder than before. Both they, and the guildmaster, turned to see what looked like a fight breaking out between two tables, a blond man punching another to the floor to loud cheers from the rest of the pub.

To the Keeper’s surprise, the guildmaster made no move to break it up, simply watching with mild interest. At least until the blond man drew his wand, and then Gilfred was suddenly beside the man, plucking said wand from his hand almost too quickly to even see.

The Keeper blinked in surprise, had he apparated? They hadn't heard a sound though.

“Now now, dere'll be no magic if yer fightin’ in ‘ere. Ya know da rulez.” Gilfred slurred with a broad grin, swaying tipsily on the spot, the blond man's wand dangling in a loose pinch between his fingers.

“Oh, sod off, ‘e deserves it!” The blond man shouted, flushed red with anger and probably a little too much alcohol, making a grab for his wand as the other patrons jeered at him.

His grin unfaltering, Gilfred laughed, stepping back clumsily out of his range and overbalancing, the back of the guildmaster's knees hit a chair and he tumbled over it, his foot coming up as he fell over and slamming squarely into the blond man's gut.

Wind knocked out of him, the blond man stumbled back into a table before using it to push himself back towards the guildmaster.

Grabbing the chair that Gilfred had fallen over, the man threw it at the collapsed guildmaster, only for Gilfred to catch the chair's legs with his ankles, pushing on the floor with his hands, and flipping with the chair's momentum till it landed upright on its legs. Perching lazily on it with a smirk as the pub patrons cheered, the occasional glint of brass knuckles gleaming on the raised fists of the crowd.

Enraged, the blond grabbed another chair and swung it at him. With a grin, the guildmaster rolled onto his feet and the two wooden chairs were smashed into pieces against each other.

So, that's why the chairs were all newer than the building, the Keeper remarked to themselves absently.

They supposed there was only so many times one could reparo a piece of furniture before it was too worn, and they watched curiously as the guildmaster drunkenly stumbled to his feet. He certainly seemed drunk, yet somehow not a single blow managed to land on him and his flailing limbs would repeatedly hit the blond attacker as he wobbled through the tavern.

With a sleepy yawn, Gilfred stretched, taking the blond man's wand out of his reach and teetering to the side sluggishly. The man lunged for his wand, only to trip over Gilfred's leg, falling onto the bar counter, just a few paces away from the Keeper.

Without missing a beat, the bartender dropped her hand down on the man's neck and he went limp.

“Whew! Tha’ waz fun.” Gilfred chuckled, stumbling over to shove the blond's wand into the man's pocket, and the Keeper watched incredulously as the guildmaster rummaged through the man's coat for a moment, before pulling out a coin pouch and raising it in the air. “A round o’ drinkz on da bloke!”

The pub erupted into cheers and the Keeper winced at the volume, yeah, they much preferred the Phantom's. Though they imagined Sebastian would find this place more exciting.

“Zo.” The guildmaster tossed the pouch at his mother behind the counter and sat down beside the Keeper again. “Whut wure we talkin’ bout?”

“Frederick Taylor, bloke’ll be missin’ soon.” The Keeper answered, eyeing the mug of pale liquid that the elderly bartender had placed in front of them.

“Tis strawberry milk.” She smiled wryly, flicking her wand and sending several mugs of gold liquid flying off the counter to the tables. “I know Alasdair ‘ands those out fer recruits. That blasted snake, ‘iring kids ta fight.”

“Sayz da one what sent me ta ‘im fer trainin’.” Gilfred snorted, snatching one of the mugs out of the air and taking a generous swig.

“I sent ye ta ‘im to getcha sobered up.” The bartender flicked a bottle cork at him, and it hit him square in the forehead, leaving a red mark and almost knocking him off his stool. “Didn't wantcha drivin’ me guild inta the ground.”

As Gilfred scrambled to save his brew from the floor, the Keeper's eyebrows rose, so she used to be the old guildmaster. Perhaps not so surprising, they mused, taking a drink of milk from their mug, old as she was, Gilfred's mother looked like she could crack a skull with a single footstep.

Glaring at the bartender through hazy eyes, the wasted guildmaster grumbled under his breath that the only reason Alasdair had a doorman was because the posh man thought kicking out rowdy people beneath him. Before rather pointedly guzzling the rest of his drink, and tossing the empty mug into the sink behind the counter, where the dishes were washing themselves.

“Weell, kid, dunno whut yer've been ‘ired ta nab ‘im fer, me bruther's gonna whine bout snipin’ ‘is patrons, but dere ain't no problems ‘ere.” Gilfred slurred and slumped on the table again, looking quite ready to go back to sleep.

“Glad ta ‘ear it.” The Keeper gave an amused huff, even they were having a hard time understanding what the man was saying.

At least there wouldn't be any problems with their job, they continued to drink their milk, it wasn't as good as Alasdair’s but hey, it was free. Be a shame to waste a free drink.

“Kid, gimmie yer ‘and.” The bartender raised her hand, and the Keeper raised an eyebrow in response. Well, she was the previous guildmaster and Alasdair, they hoped, would have warned them if they couldn't trust her.

Extending their hand, and cautiously placing it in hers, the Keeper watched as she simply held it, her eyes closed for several long moments, and they felt a tingling sensation creep slowly up along their arm.

Until, finally, she lifted her eyes to meet theirs, and her amber orbs felt like they were seeing into their soul, leaving them ever so slightly unsettled.

“Well, you're somethin’ unique, aren't ya. So young, yet so ancient.” She murmured and the Keeper stiffened. “Be careful, people like ya ‘ave been disappearin’.”

They frowned as she released their hand. “What's that ‘sposed ta mean?”

“Zactly what I said.” The bartender gave them a tight smile. “Places like these draw them odds ‘n ends, misfits ‘n the like. Had our fair share ‘o strange folk with strange powers, lot of ‘em ‘ave gone missin’ ov'r the years.”

“That so?” The Keeper murmured, flexing their hand absently. “Any ideas what mighta ‘appened to ‘em?”

She shook her head. “Not a clue, but most of ‘em ain't the type that'd up ‘n leave with nary a word.”

Well, that wasn't much to go on, and they were fairly cautious already, so the Keeper asked instead. “What'd you do just there?”

“Just gettin’ a feel fer ya.” The bartender gave them a cryptic smile. “If ol’ Alasdair hadn't snatched ye up, I might’ve ‘ad me boy do it.”

Before the Keeper could even formulate a response, there came a loud thud beside them and, looking down, they found said ‘boy’ sprawled out on the floor snoring loudly.

Heaving a sigh and grumbling under her breath, the bartender wiped her hands and set down her towel. “That boy... ‘ang on.”

“Take yer time.” The Keeper chuckled, tossing the collapsed guildmaster an amused glance as his mother walked around the counter to drag his ass onto a bench.

It was plain to see that, despite her complaints and general atmosphere of disapproval, the woman loved the odd young man quite deeply.

Somehow, it reminded them of the way Ominis was with Sebastian. Even though neither boy had particularly good examples to follow, and were very clumsy about it, Ominis and Sebastian still managed to discover love, and stumble through expressing it to each other.

Some things were just natural, if you love someone, you can't bear to make them feel worse when they're already feeling bad, right? You want them to be happy and safe, warm and wearing a smile. It didn't matter what they'd done or your own ego or what you expected of them. You'd never just toss them aside, disown them like Solomon did Sebastian.

That's how the Keeper felt at least, and they knew both boys did too.

Sebastian had seen, even if he hadn't understood, how much it hurt Ominis to join him in the Scriptorium. That it wasn't that Ominis didn't want to help him, but that helping was hurting him. So, Sebastian had tried to leave Ominis out of saving Anne, without making Ominis feel guilty about not helping.

Sure, it was lying by omission, but the Keeper had understood the love in that act, and it had been quite inspirational to them. In his own way, Ominis had shown it too, trying to stop Sebastian in fear that Sebastian, who had already been dealt a dreadful blow by Anne's curse, would only suffer more as he struggled against fate.

Even if Ominis’ words and actions, in the spirit of love, had ended up hurting Sebastian too, he'd been torn between stopping Sebastian for his own good and knowing that Sebastian needed to do this to be happy. Ominis had been easy to sway because he understood that Sebastian would never be able to forgive himself if he stopped, something he loved and hated about his best friend, and a part of him had hoped that Sebastian would succeed.

Considering Ominis’ own mental state, they could respect that internal struggle and knew that that too came from love. The Keeper was still struggling with it themselves. Trying to do the right thing for Sebastian and Ominis, when they didn't have anyone to teach them.

It had been terrifying yesterday, hearing Ominis speak like he wanted to die. They'd seen it many times, the ones who... decided that their lot wasn't worth suffering through. The ones who'd sat down and waited for death.

...I'm tired... we... we were never meant to be born.

They'd spent years wondering why they were still fighting even though they knew that the best they could hope for was a dignified death. That nothing short of a miracle would improve their situation. Well, they'd gotten their miracle, and Sebastian and Ominis had made all those years of fighting worth it.

The thought that they might have unintentionally pushed their precious Ominis to the point of wishing he'd never been born, even though they needed him so much, had been a punch to the gut.

They still felt bad about slapping him, but they'd needed to snap him out of it, perhaps even more for themselves than for him. He and Sebastian, being a part of what those two boys had, being loved, was the Keeper's prize after a lifetime's worth of suffering, and they wouldn't relinquish that. Ever.

As they watched the elderly lady tuck her son in with a blanket, struggling to pry his arms from where they were wrapped around hers like it were his bolster. A clear mix of fondness and exasperation on her features, and a part of them felt some relief to see their own feelings reflected in her eyes and actions.

That maybe, even if they didn't know what they were doing or how things would turn out in the end, there were some things that everyone could get right.

When there was love.

The wind was biting as it grazed the skin under their hood and the Keeper spared Sebastian a fond smile as he grumbled, turning onto his side to catch the little light peering through the clouds on the pages of his book, only to almost fall off the sloped roof that they were precariously perched upon.

“Gah!” Sebastian yelped, catching the book as the Keeper pulled him back to safety, and he grinned sheepishly up at them from their lap. “Thanks.”

“Careful darling.” They chuckled, before returning their magically enhanced gaze to the street below.

The Eagle's Eye Elixir was probably one of the most useful NEWT-level potions they'd learnt so far and they'd put it to good use, watching the Rowdy Rogue for their target from a safe vantage away. It was certainly far preferable to casting the disillusionment charm on themselves and hiding near the establishment while the spell drained their magic for who knows how long.

“You know.” Sebastian mused, watching them from their lap. “Keeping you company while waiting for hours, following a guy around, drinking polyjuice. Not exactly what I had in mind when I said I wanted to help you on your next job.”

“Regretting?” The Keeper asked absently with an amused smile.

“More like impressed that you're not bored out of your mind.” Sebastian commented, following their eyes down to the people hustling back and forth.

“I like people watching.” The Keeper replied, brushing their fingers through his hair idly. “There was little else to do, outside of gang fights, learning to read the Bible, and my... work. You can learn a lot just from watching peopl-”

The Keeper froze when a familiar man entered their view, and thereafter, the pub. Anger throbbed through their veins, that scum, walking about, free of all cares even after what he'd done to Tobbs. He deserved nothing less than a hole in the ground, him and all the others like him.

“There he is.” They hissed.

Sebastian sighed. “Great. Now we have to wait for him to finish his dinner, track him back to his house and then come back again tomorrow to nab him on the way home.”

“Yup.” The Keeper chuckled, patting him on the head. “It's the least we can do...”

A vicious smirk stretched across the Keeper's face.

“...to let him enjoy his last day as a free man.”

The road was dark as Frederick Taylor left Edinburgh, crunching through the snow with a bottle in hand, heading home after a long day’s work at the city's potions’ emporium. His ears still ringing from the scathing rebukes he'd gotten from the surly old owner of the shop.

Damn woman, it wasn't his fault her workshop was so fucking messy, eventually someone was going to mix up the bottle of Rosewoods oil drops and essence of Essenwood. They were the same colour!

It still pissed him off that he was now an employee, when he'd once owned his own potions shop in London. Now, he had to work for someone else, and he cursed the useless elf that'd disappeared from the cave he'd left it in two years ago.

The very reminder was enough for him to take another swig from the bottle he'd taken with him when James kicked him out of the pub. His tongue had gone numb to its flavour since he'd finished his second, but its buzz was probably the only reason he wasn't crying like a baby.

His Vanessa, that beautiful fucking whore. How could she leave him? With nothing but a bloody note! She'd said she loved him, he'd bought her everything she wanted, he'd given her lots of love and sex too, which he was quite good at! His wife had gotten pregnant twice, after all. He'd heard some guys couldn't even do that. Weak plebs.

Vanessa probably would have gotten pregnant after being together so long, if she wanted to, but the bitch took contraceptive potions every time, saying she wanted him to leave his wife first. That cunt had probably been planning to leave the whole time, maybe he should have swapped her potion so she would get pregnant, maybe she would've stayed then.

His wife had. She'd married him after he knocked her up, her prissy parents hadn't wanted her to have a kid out of wedlock and he'd agreed. Why wouldn't he? They were rich. Compared to his adoptive parents, at least.

Frederick slipped on a patch of ice and cursed, pausing to spit at it before continuing on his way.

Then again, he wasn't sure he wanted another kid. He never knew what to do with them, his stupid wife had thrown such a hissy fit when he'd pulled out his belt the first time their baby started screaming. She'd looked so horrified, pretty blue eyes staring at him in shock as she stood between him and the kid.

It'd started then, those beautiful eyes, staring at him like he was some sort of monster. Like she didn't know him. He'd backed off from then on, whenever it came to the kids. What was that look for? That's what you did with noisy brats. Her method took forever for the kid to shut up, but he'd decided to be gracious and let her get her way, maybe then she'd stop looking at him like that.

Those eyes haunted him, the change that had come over them, the way she looked at him, like there was something wrong with him. It drove him mad, even just remembering it.

He raised the bottle to his lips again, and it only got worse over the years. It wasn't his fault. He never wanted to hit her, it just- Every time he got some drinks with his friends, she would look at him with those eyes, like those fucking muggles did, like he was a beggar on the streets.

It wasn't his fault she was always so annoying while he was just trying to enjoy the buzz. Babbling incessantly about how he shouldn't drink, and how she needed the money for her parents’ medical bills, ridiculous considering how rich they were. The wizarding healers weren't like muggle doctors, they could do so much insane stuff, surely those bills couldn't be that much of a problem. Did she think he was stupid? She was probably hiding all that money just so he'd drink less.

Was it too much to ask? To let him have even this one thing to look forward to. If she just minded her own business and stopped trying to control him, everything would be fine.

She was always on his case about spending more time with the brats too, and it wasn't as if he didn't want to, it wasn't his fault that the kids liked her more. They were always so happy with her, even if also annoyingly loud, but with him, they were quiet and stiff. He was trying, alright!? He wanted the kids to like him too, goddammit, but all they wanted was their ma.

The older one had started giving him the same look she did, since he began Hogwarts. Frederick was willing to bet the last of his coin that his petty, childish, and selfish wife was poisoning the boy against him. Turning his own sons against him, what a vindictive bitch.

God, it pissed him off so bad, why had she changed? What happened to the sweet girl he'd met in Hogwarts? He'd thought her so beautiful when he'd first met her, gentle and ladylike, the prettiest Hufflepuff in their year. He'd been the envy of the other Gryffindor boys when she agreed to go out with him in fifth year and he'd been grateful to his adoptive parents. They'd given him the money to impress her and supported his pursuit of her.

Now he wished they hadn't. It was just his luck, to be deceived by his first girl, ensnared by the falsehood that she would always be the loving and gentle person she'd pretended to be, only to change after their marriage.

He supposed he had been somewhat lucky, once. His parents had died two years before he'd gotten his letter, and going to the magical school had gotten him adopted in his first year, by a couple in Hogsmeade, so he hadn't had to go back to the filthy orphanage over the summers.

The couple had mostly used him as a second house elf, but it was so much better than the workhouse, that he'd taken it without complaint. Their elf though, he'd hated it so much. It was small, ugly, stupid, and worst of all, better at magic than Frederick. Even though he was human, he was a wizard! He wasn't a weird little freak like the muggle orphanage hands called him, compared to that wrinkly creature with no pride.

At least he'd been good at potions, and they'd bought a shop with his wife's money, the ungrateful bitch never appreciated that it was Frederick's talent that made the shop successful. That if it weren't for him, her parents’ money would be sitting uselessly in the bank, like the money he knew she was hiding from him now.

All she did was smile and laugh and gossip with the customers about pointless things like how their families were doing. Who fucking cares? They were just here to buy his potions, they probably found his brainless wife annoying too and were too polite to tell her off. He'd told her to cut it out and stop wasting time when she could be working, but she never listened.

Ironic since the bitch was always whining that he never listened to her, never spent time with her. Well, she never wanted to have sex either, she was always “too tired”. As if she had anything difficult to do, their elf handled the chores and heavy lifting, so all she had to do was take care of their brats and manage their potions, keep things organised and other brain work shit. Far less work than a muggle bitch who had to do all of that and actually tiring chores by hand. The cunt was so entitled and lazy.

She just didn't care about his needs, so it wasn't his fault for scratching that itch elsewhere. Why should he be honest? She was keeping secrets too. Keeping the fortune she'd inherited from her rich parents hidden away somewhere, just so she could continue pestering him to quit drinking with the excuse of running out of money.

Vanessa had reminded him of her, of how she'd looked, back during their Hogwarts days. Pretty blue eyes, soft face, not like all the lines that had appeared on his wife's brow over the years, the skin under Vanessa's eyes was light, not like the ugly dark stains that were under his wife's or the red puffiness that came after he’d had some drinks. Even Jesus and fucking Saint Aidan would lose his temper with that woman.

Served his shit wife right anyway, the bitch was always so whiny whenever they did have sex, never just lying down with him and letting him enjoy the afterglow afterwards. Always running off quickly to do something with the children or the shop, she always had to ruin things every time he made an effort to rekindle their romance from back in Hogwarts.

Things only got worse after the damn elf disappeared, she still insisted that she didn't have any money left from her parents. Like he would buy such an obvious lie, everybody lies, he already knew that. After all, he was doing it too, hiding Vanessa from her, but he never thought his wife would hate him so much that she'd continue hiding her money till they lost the shop.

Crying crocodile tears while spitefully forcing him into the humiliating corner of having to work as an employee. His luck was terrible too, all his bosses were shit fucks that fired him after mere weeks, he bet his whore of a wife was fucking her boss, that's why she got a well-paying job so quickly.

Yet she still kept nagging him to get a job, whining all the time that they needed to make more money, that their debt was incurring interest faster than she could keep up with, while paying for everything. As if it was his fault nobody appreciated his talents. As if she couldn't just stop hiding her money and fucking pay it off.

He wasn't stupid, her job's pay was good, but not good enough to keep up. She was just taking her hidden money out slowly instead of using it to fix their problems. Weren't those problems bad enough for her to drop her petty grudge against him and do the right thing, even if Frederick would benefit from that money too? Even he felt bad when their sons had to drop out of Hogwarts.

Maybe if he left, she'd finally be willing to take the money out and at least use it for the kids. He'd been fighting with her one morning, and she'd had the audacity to suggest selling his real muggle birth parents’ gold wedding rings and his mother’s pearl necklace, all he’d had left of them when they died. He'd buried those treasures when they died and only went back for them after he'd graduated, and his wife was talking about selling them!?

Their oldest had slammed his hands on the table, shouting, “Shut up, da! Everything would be better if you just fucked off!”

Frederick had been so shocked, his children had never taken that tone or language with him before. He'd been furious at his wife, what was the woman teaching their children!?

He'd gone for his wand, intending to cast a Silencing Charm on the impudent brat.

Only for her to fucking grab the two kids and run from the house, as though he were a monster chasing them. Embarrassing him, when his shouting and their fleeing made the neighbours, and everyone on the street, look at him like a madman. Cheeks flushed with humiliation, he'd stormed back into the house and began packing his things.

Why the hell not. He'd leave, and he'd take whatever he could find. His bitch wife could keep the children that she'd poisoned against him, he didn't need them, he didn't need any of them. He still had his mother’s necklace and his father’s ring, and a handful of galleons. He would start over with Vanessa, maybe then he'd have children who loved him.

Frederick tilted the bottle further back and groaned in disappointment when he had to accept that it was empty. Furious that it hadn't been enough to get his brain to stop working, he threw the bottle into the treeline, wobbling on the spot as it shattered against a trunk.

He choked out a sob and slumped against a dying tree on the other side of the road. Its barren branches loomed over his head, dry and empty, save the snow gathering along the length of its bough, weighing it down to graze the tips of his hair with bony cold fingers.

He never wanted any of this. He just wanted a beautiful loving wife, and children who would smile at him, look at him like he was the world to them. Instead, he'd gotten an ungrateful bitch, children who loved her more than him, and a lying cunt who left him with no more than a note of farewell.

What had he left now? The pearl necklace around his neck, a gold ring, five galleons and a small, rented room in Musselburgh. No parents, no family, no friends. All alone in the world. Unbidden, his sons’ faces came to mind.

He could still remember his boys when they were still babies. They'd become annoying as they grew older, but he still remembered the moment he'd held his firstborn, little soft thing with big blue eyes. None of the anger that'd begun showing up in those eyes. The younger one still hadn't had that happen... yet.

So, it was good. It was good to have left. Before that happened. His wife had a job, she was good with numbers and words, she could keep things tidy, and she was still kind of pretty. She'd be fine. They'd be fine without him.

...

Fuck, he missed them.

It was so fucking weird, but those boys, his bitch wife. Now that he was crying on the side of an empty dirt road surrounded by dying trees and freezing his balls off, he kinda wished he was back home. How were the kids? His wife? Were they really better off since he'd left six months ago?

Frederick shook his head, of course they were.

Of course they were. He closed his eyes. His kids were cuddled with his bitch wife in front of the fireplace, celebrating Christmas, all warm an-

“...lp!”

Frederick blinked, turning his head towards the faint sound, had he imagined it? Struggling to focus through the haze in his mind, he looked up, the road was bathed in pitch black, and the light of the night sky had been covered by thick clouds.

The sound of a twig snapping just off to his left made him jump and his eyes peered through the treeline, the cold air quickly sobering him as he raised his wand. “Lumos!”

A circle of light bloomed around him, straining to push back against the darkness, but he could see no further than a few steps.

“Is someone there?” Frederick called out, straining his ears to catch the slightest sound.

But nothing came.

The silence of the empty winter road, the graveyard of dead trees devoid of life or motion, suddenly felt too quiet. He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry and the inside of his skull ringing between his hollow ears.

The darkness of the path lay like a gaping void at his feet, the eerie stillness burning the last of the alcohol's buzz from his mind.

“Help! Help me!”

Frederick stiffened when he recognised that voice. No, it couldn't be. The boy was supposed to be at home, with his wife-

A deep growl and a shriek of terror cut through the air, the clouds parted, and the moon's light pierced the darkness. Through the scattering of trees, Frederick was struck with horror when he spotted a small dark figure running through the trees, pursued by a large wolf.

“Help! Dad!” The boy's panicked voice stabbed the man, sharp painful spikes of dread embedding themselves in his chest.

“Andrew!” Frederick shouted. Clenching his teeth, he took off after the figures, heart pounding as he ran, stumbling over tree roots and bushes.

Not his boy, not the one that still hadn't learned to hate him yet. Andrew was supposed to be at home with his fucking wife, what the fuck was wrong with the useless fucking bitch!? Couldn't even get this right!? Couldn't even keep their kids safe!?

Just ahead of him, the wolf had caught up to his son and was crouched over the fallen boy.

Fear and anger boiling in his veins, Frederick swung his wand at the wolf, shouting. “Diffindo!”

The wolf leapt out of the way and his spell slammed into a tree, cutting deep into its bark, as the wolf turned its golden gaze on him.

Fear chilled him to the bone, as it bared its teeth at Frederick, sharp fangs gleaming in the light of his wand, and in that moment, he saw in its eyes, his own death staring him in the face.

Behind the wolf, was his son, the boy lying on the floor, his boy, his child. The desire to save his son clenched tight within his heart, but the fear seeping through his pores was turning his flesh numb with its chill.

He had to save Andrew...

The wolf's jaw spread wide.

He had to save...

The great beast raised its haunches.

He had to...

It sprang forward at him.

...had to...

Run. Turning on the spot and diving out of the wolf's path, Frederick ran back the way he'd come. His heart screamed at him in pain, but his body was numb with fear.

He could always have another kid, everything would be over if he died. This wasn't his fault. It was hers. Andrew shouldn't even be here, all alone. She'd abandoned him first. It wasn't his fault. He didn't deserve to die for her mistake.

He glanced behind him as he ran, but to his surprise, instead of a wolf, he caught a glimpse of what looked like a person, as a red hued spell slammed into him, throwing him through the air.

As his vision darkened, the last terrifying thing that he saw...

Was a shadowy figure standing over him with blood red eyes.

Sebastian brushed the snow from his pant legs with tiny hands as he stood, cheeks flushed pink and heart still racing. Fuuuuuck, having the Keeper looming over him, pinning him to the floor in their Animagus form, their large heavy paws dipping into the snow, heat radiating from their fur and sharp fangs showing.

He wondered if it was because of his own Animagus form's instinct, Sebastian felt like if he were as a dog, he'd have rolled onto his back and bared his neck. Was it just a result of the adrenaline? It'd been a long time since he'd been a boy around the age of the kid he'd polyjuiced into, and he couldn't quite remember how easy it had been to end up having a... well, tent in the pant.

He watched as the Keeper flicked their wand and conjured ropes to bind the unconscious man lying in the snow, taking his wand and searching him for any portkeys or valuables and probably his keys. What a coward, Sebastian sneered at the bound man.

Hiccupping, Sebastian drew his wand and cast a resizing charm on his clothes, loosening them in advance as he felt the polyjuice begin to wear off. At least the man had cared enough about his kid to be lured off the road, the thought was quickly ejected from his brain however, and Sebastian doubled over, pain rippling across his body as his skin stretched, bones elongating and thickening.

Until he was himself again, kneeling on the ground, his hands braced against the cold snow, heaving for breath as the sound of footsteps approached.

“Alright there, love?” The Keeper asked.

“Ugh, that was worse than I expected.” Sebastian groaned.

“Probably hurt more because of the age difference. Growing pains.” The Keeper grinned and Sebastian chuckled weakly.

A swirl of golden light later, he felt warm fur against his chest as the Keeper slipped under his arms, supporting his weight and allowing him to drape over their large wolf form. Offering themselves as support while he recovered, so that his hands needn't rest on the cold snow, and Sebastian's cheeks warmed yet again when he felt their powerful muscles flexing under the fluffy fur.

Reminded of how it'd felt to have them crouched over him mere moments ago.

When he felt well enough, Sebastian gave the Keeper's head a grateful pat, and slowly peeled himself from their back to stand. As he did so, the Keeper quickly transformed back into human form to support him when he wobbled on the spot, slipping their arms around his waist.

As he leaned against them, he felt their warm breath by his ear, and they murmured. “You smell much better as yourself.”

Going even redder, Sebastian blanched. “You were sniffing me?”

He could hear the broad grin in their voice as they chuckled and purred. “Hard not to when you smell so aroused.”

Sebastian wasn't sure how he felt about them knowing that he'd been turned on by the sheer danger wafting off them a few minutes ago. Embarrassed? More aroused?

Scrambling for a response, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “Oh yeah? And how's that smell?”

The Keeper pressed their nose to his nape and murmured. “Delicious.”

Sebastian gave a nervous laugh. “Planning on eating me?”

That probably shouldn't sound as good to him as it did.

“Maybe when we’re home and cleaned up. Job's not done yet.” The Keeper chuckled and released him, waving their wand. “Accio.”

The spell dragged Frederick's unconscious body across the ground and the Keeper plucked a strand of hair from his head. Dropping it into a vial of muddy brown polyjuice potion, it quickly turned into a nauseating lumpy sludge of yellow and green, and the Keeper grimaced at it.

“Bring him back to Dìon for me while I ransack his house.” Despite the wording, the Keeper's tone came out more like a question than an instruction.

“Sure.” Sebastian nodded, taking his broom from his pocket and enlarging it, before tying the man to the end and casting a levitation charm at him. “I'll see you back home.”

Mounting his broom with some discomfort, look it’s hard to have wood between the legs when you have wood between the legs, Sebastian flashed them a grin, calling back as he took off. “Then we can let him cook while you have me for dessert.”

The Keeper's laughter followed him out of the treeline and anticipation tightened Sebastian’s grip on the broom handle. Maybe if they were lucky, Ominis might be in the mood to provide some... accompanying refreshments too.

Notes:

Just a few trivial notes to get out of the way;

I made a small change to Part 2 chapter 19, because I didn't realise Edinburgh was actually a big city back when I first wrote that bit, (look, I ain't from around there and I picked Edinburgh cos the name sounded cool) so I made it a bit more specific, the Obliviated woman was dropped off by a small town “Musselburgh, just east of Edinburgh” and James owns “a bar in the city”.

And, in Harry Potter lore, the more powerful someone is, the more quiet they are when apparating, just sayin' x3

After added research, I've also changed the name of the Keeper's orphanage to Nazareth Houses in Part 1 chapter 6.

Has anyone even recognised the reference to Persona 5 with the guild being called the Phantoms and the Keeper wearing a half-face mask for their work? There's a TMNT Fast Forward reference and a subtle Undertale reference in there too hehe

Also, I love the idea of Sebastian accidentally making 11 year old Ominis fall in love with him by just being honest and not thinking before he speaks. I know people characterise him as flirty but I think in game, that was really just him sucking up to MC and prodding for information because he needed and admired them, I think he's the type that stumbles into his actual flirting without thinking much.

And that's the trivial notes done, please pay attention from this point on!

“When your friends are roasting on the spit, you're the one who feels the fire.” That's a quote from the first How To Train Your Dragons TV series (God, I love Dreamworks Dragons and Race to the Edge so much-)

In my humble opinion, the one commonality between every single type of love, platonic, romantic, familial, friendship and camaraderie and everything in-between, is “I don't want this person to suffer.” Now, the one stumbling block that a lot of people trip over is that the “suffer” should not be your own definition of “suffering”, it should be their definition of “suffering”.

The problems arise when you try to protect someone from what you personally think is the “worst suffering”, and put them through their “worst suffering” in the process. That's what Ominis and, to a more extreme extent, Solomon did with Sebastian, and we all know how that turned out.

So, key takeaway is, find out what your loved ones’ “worst suffering” is, and try to remember to protect them from their “worst suffering” and not your own when you naturally, as a result of love, try to protect them from suffering.

Next, I want to contrast the Keeper’s addiction vs Frederick's here. The key difference between them is that the Keeper had acknowledged the terrifying reality that they were addicted, accepted the fact that they couldn't handle it alone, and took responsibility for their actions as a result of their addiction. The appropriate response here is to support them, assure them that while they do bear that responsibility, their actions were understandable.

Frederick however, neither acknowledges his addiction, nor does he accept assistance with it and flees from responsibility. Blaming everyone around him and pushing them away. Sure, we are a product of our environment, but that doesn't mean you don't need to put in effort to change as well when presented with evidence that your interpretation of the world is wrong.

Unlike Sebastian, who does accept that he had fucked up (even if he had considerable personal justification) at the end of his questline. Takes two hands to clap and all that.

Now, all that being said, we should never shame addiction, even when it's a Frederick case, that's not what I'm trying to do here.

Addiction forms as a coping mechanism and everybody on planet Earth has suffered and to each and every one, your own suffering is the worst suffering on Earth. The hardest to deal with. We are all vulnerable to getting addicted to a specific thing that allows us to cope. Everyone is likely already addicted to something, it's just a question of how harmful it is and how well it's managed.

It's a different weak point for each person, the common ones are drugs, gambling, alcohol, porn, scrolling social media, but there are less obviously bad addictions too. People can be addicted to the dopamine hit they get when they make someone else happy, or the adrenaline rush that comes from hurting other people’s feelings or comparing themselves to others and stroking their own ego with how much “better” they are, whether that be in material ways or moral.

People that are addicted to things with negative effects on both themselves and others, need support to wean off them and adopt healthy coping mechanisms to manage said addictions.

However, that necessitates that the addicted person be aware that an uncontrolled addiction is inherently negative. Even if, “feeling good by making other people happy” seems like a good thing, if uncontrolled, a person might end up neglecting their own needs, chasing that dopamine hit, making them vulnerable to abuse. (The healthy solution for that one is simple, get a good partner and tell them you have a praise kink.)

Moderation is the key to success.

I know, corny, I'm sorry- but it's true, many people delude themselves into thinking that their addictions are not addictions, they're just “things I like doing” but, like someone I spent a week arguing with on YouTube's comments, a girl (according to her, which is odd since she also says she's graduated from University, most would use the word ‘woman’ by that age but okay).

She said and I quote, “Sebastian is a bad manipulative person, because if a person does a bad thing it means they were a bad person from the start and they're beyond saving and no amount of remorse can make up for it”, along with, “I got bullied but I never fought back or took drugs or stuff, so I'm stronger than people like Sebastian who caved under abuse from his uncle”.

That right there, is an addiction to the dopamine hit that comes when comparing yourself to someone else and going “wow, look how much better I am than that person”.

This same person also said that “even if you are poor, there are legal ways of making money, so if you break the law, even to save a family member, you are a bad person”. In other words, poor people are poor because they don't want to work, and by extension, homeless people should just buy a home. She also said that people with family members with cancer should just let them die because fighting cancer looks painful to her. Guess my aunt should have died rather than successfully fight off cancer and live another 20 years and counting. /s

I was genuinely at a loss for words with this person. She said she graduated from the free University, paid for by her government (wow, I wanna live there) where she studied “history” ...just history apparently. All the history, I guess. Of what? Of everything. But, somehow took a week to realise that laws are different in different countries and that having a country with laws that don't protect the people, would affect a person's morality and motivation to obey the law.

...okay, great, you made the first step, now please go to the next logical conclusion. Have you considered how shit the Ministry of Magic is? What makes you compare Sebastian to people in a first world country in 2024? Slavery and racism are LEGAL and rampant in Wizarding Britain, there’s no Childcare Protection Service, no lawyers, and there's a literal war with goblins going on. Even Hogwarts’ Headmaster Black is openly corrupt and engages in open favouritism and house elf abuse, this ain't a Dumbledore-run school at the moment! Such a trust-less society and environment is gonna affect Sebastian's morals too, that doesn’t make him evil!

She even cited Oliver Twist to compare Sebastian against like, “See, Oliver remained a good person despite everything he went through, so Sebastian caving to circumstances and using the unforgivables means he was always evil.” Completely missing the fact that Dickens wrote Oliver Twist to increase understanding of unfortunate people and challenge the idea that impoverished and desperate people are inherently morally evil, but instead teach that they're shaped by their environments. Even Oliver himself never judges his fellow impoverished negatively for being cruel to him.

Which is weird because this person was also defending how “good” of a person Ominis was, when he objectively failed her bar. I mean, he caved to his parents’ abuse and cast the Cruciatus curse on defenceless muggles. How is that different? Even Ominis himself is aware of this! The whole point of that was to show that this is a harmful mentality to have, even for the person having it, look at how much Ominis hates himself for failing that absurd expectation of perfection from humans.

(Plus, Sebastian cast all the unforgivables in defence so, with that plus being a minor, any juvenile court would show him leniency. Oh, did I mention that this person says 15-year-olds are not children? I was deeply concerned.)

I got several strokes arguing with this person that good people can make mistakes and do things they regret. Wow, so shocking, I know. And that “understandable” and “acceptable” are not the same thing. We can understand and empathise with the reasons a person does something, without condoning it.

The Just World Fallacy is a terrible and categorically delusional place to live in. I invite you to look up the term, it's an absurdly common cognitive bias in many people, my abusive father included. Not gonna lie, Fredrick takes a fair amount of inspiration from him.

These are the people that I write to convince, but man, if they can read friggin’ Oliver Twist and come away thinking that the book's message is to shame other unfortunate people for not being as good as Oliver, it makes me really scared to write. And that's why my notes are always so long-

Imagine, writing books where you try to teach people to be more understanding of why people shouldn't be blamed, hated, and punished for being desperate enough to resort to criminality. Only for someone to use your writing to shame other unfortunate people for not being as perfect as Oliver. Hurk- Pain- Dickens must be rolling in his grave.

She even called my "ideas" childish, like, I'm childish when you are literally not understanding basic human rights laws. Really?

Right, anyway, the point of this whole segue, is that people with Just World Fallacy (like that girl I argued with) actively creates people like Frederick. He's an incredibly unreliable narrator, except for one point. Frederick does, in fact, legitimately not know what he did wrong when he tried to belt whip a baby for crying.

If his wife had explained why that was an inappropriate response to him patiently, (yes, he would have resisted, scoffed at it too, but don't just quit gurl, change isn't easy) if she had taken the effort to teach him the correct way to handle a baby rather than level at him empty judgement, if she hadn't judged him as an evil man immediately upon being shocked by his “surprising vile action”, if she'd asked him why he thought that whipping a baby was correct. Encouraged him to open up about his childhood trauma from being an orphan in the 1890s.

Maybe he would've gotten better, maybe he could have learned. The reality is that judging other people as evil and beyond saving, and not trying to correct it, helps nobody. If you think something is wrong with the way he thinks or behaves, try to understand why he is the way he is and work on it with him. If you can't do anything about it or figure it out, or he resists very strongly, get help from others.

(There's also an important balance to strike with teaching or giving advice. See, you want to say, “you should do this”, but if you don't also say “it's okay to fail”, then you are actively discouraging a person from trying.

But if you say, “it's okay to fail”, you better fucking mean it. If the person trying fails after you said it's okay to fail and you immediately scold and shame them for failing, now they are probably never going to try again. Failing already feels bad, you don't need to make it worse.

Now, that's not to say the person shouldn't have to accept the consequences of the failure. They should, that's how you learn, but don't ADD shaming the person for it to the mix. Failure doesn't say anything inherent about a person. It doesn't make them stupid or evil, and it doesn't mean they weren't trying.

You can't read their mind, how do you know they “weren't trying”? Not all effort is visible, and some people have reasons to struggle more at things you think aren't that hard. People always need a reason to continue trying, something to strive for, otherwise they won't try.

This is why not turning Sebastian in is the correct choice, we see that after hitting the bad results of his actions, unlike Frederick, Sebastian was not arrogant and understood that forgiveness and mercy was something he could only beg for. He didn't blame Solomon (even though he'd have some grounds there if he did), he didn't blame Anne, or MC and Ominis for not stopping him. He expressed regret for his actions and his hope for grace.

He was willing to accept that he's made wrong decisions, acknowledging that, “you all believed in me, and I let you all down.” By showing him mercy, he takes responsibility for his actions and resolves to earn the second chance he was granted, saying “I know I can't change what I've done, but I can try every day to make up for it.”

It helps that Sebastian is still a child too, at 15 years of age, boys are still developing mentally and physically, and he has much room to grow. All this is 200% harder with an adult, especially one over 26, when the mind is already mostly made up. But, harder doesn’t mean impossible, my mom managed at 50+!)

Now, not everyone is in the position to help other people, of course. Not everyone has access to guidance and education (like the Keeper, and possibly Fredrick's wife) and your own safety comes first, you can't help others if you’re dead. His wife’s fear of Fredrick was legitimate and well founded, her belief that he was going to hurt her kids when he went for his wand was very reasonable and she was right to take her kids and flee the house, even if he hadn't intended to do harm. God, wands are terrible World Building, a gun, a pen, a knife, and a dishwasher all in one-

Basically, don't burn yourself to keep others warm, safety first. But also, don't write people off because it's easier and makes you feel good, makes you feel better than others. Gotta walk that thin boundary carefully.

I said, in parting to the girl on YouTube, and I will say it here.

I believe in rehabilitation. I believe in redemption and remorse. There is no point too far to turn back, no apology I will not accept. Life is a series of compromises with each other, with reality and with ourselves. The bar and the lines are different for everyone, sometimes we clash, and it’s nobody’s fault.

Is it scarier to live this way? Yes. One can never know if the second chance you give will be for nought and your effort will be wasted, and it's important to give second chances in a way that doesn't endanger yourself, and to use empiricism and pattern recognition to evaluate when to give out your second chances. Don't just dole it out blindly either, that's bad too, for both you and the recipient. Seek advice and guidance from professionals and those wiser when uncertain.

But whenever I can, I will always be willing to give forgiveness and second chances.

Because I know how important forgiveness is when you need it.

Also, Frederick's anger towards Vanessa isn't unfounded, in my opinion. Not because of being with a married man, (though come on, don't make it easy for them to cheat), Frederick is the one who made a vow to his wife, it's mostly on him for cheating. But because she used him for money and then discarded him. Sure, Frederick is awful but that doesn't make it okay to scam him. If you're gonna encourage him to leave his wife for you, you've made your bed, at least lie in it.

In the words of Dan Olson in his incredible video, This Is Financial Advice:

“It can be difficult to have empathy for apes (people like Frederick) because, frankly, a lot of them suck... It's tempting to look at them and think, ‘you know what, they brought this on themselves.’ But no-one deserves to be exploited... No-one deserves to have their ego and security ground down to the point that there’s no escape, no reason to step back and admit defeat, no reason to reflect.”

I think the reason I hate how things go if we turn Sebastian in, is because that's exactly what we do to him by choosing to send him to Azkaban. We give him no reason to step back, no reason to admit defeat and reflect. So he just gets angrier, at both goblins and dark wizards. His anger... no. We would have turned Sebastian into Frederick.

Everyone can be crushed, everyone has a breaking point, even someone as earnest, hardworking, determined, and committed to learning, as Sebastian. And I never want to be responsible for breaking someone else.

And, yes, these notes are extra-long because that argument on YouTube made me paranoid and anxious that people will misinterpret my work. My cope method is clearly over-explaining.

And this lesson continues in the next chapter, so... brace for more long notes, though I don’t think they’ll be quite as long x'D

[throughtheinterstices]

HI SOF💜 help not you saying im one of your faves on tumblr OTL askdjsks iM GONNA CRY 🥺 eep no worries i totally get what you mean about uni stress fsjsdkgsd i also take forever to reply to people cuz i usually have no more brain cells left when i come on tumblr HAHAHA eeepp sounds like its been pretty tough 😣 but im v happy to hear you have a break coming soon!!

omg ok hospital playlist askdkjs wHY DID IT END SO SAD ASKFJKS like omg okay first of all i love how their friendships were written soso much??? all their banter and inside jokes, mAKING A BAND TOGETHER, how they care so much and how theyre all there for each other when times get tough askdjsk its peak friendship OTL 😭 them with their juniors too aksjdjd hosplay really was a slice of life masterpiece 😩 i loved how they wrote all the romantic relationships too; i do think some were abit rushed towards the end of s2 but im still really glad that all of them did get their happy endings 😭

DR CHU MINHA FINALLY GETTING HER CHANCE WITH SEOK HYEONG AFTER PINING FOR TWO WHOLE SEASONS ASKFJKSJ oMg their dynamic is sooo funny cuz most people feel a little awkward around seokhyeong but she's absolutely shameless in what she says to him and he finds it so endearing and my heart just went !!!!! i think i used to see her crush as a little shallow but i was cheering so hard for her when they finally became official

jeong won and gyeo ul are also soso perfect for each other askfjks i loved how ik jun kept trying to play matchmaker and jeongwon is honestly the sweetest man ive ever seen and theyre sO cute together

eep junwan and iksun askjdjs peak "brother's-best-friend" trope HELP OMG aaa their angst hit the hardest i think but they made up really sweetly (and ikjun playing matchmaker once again aksjsj)

aNDANDAND IKJUN AND SONGHWA FKSKDK THE BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS !!!! hELP they were sooo freaking adorable all the subtle moments they had together, CAMPING TOGETHER WITH UJU hElp i was screaming it felt sooo domestic and sweet i was smiling so wide watching them😭

eeepp the last ep!! it was going soo well, all of them getting together, but then they gathered for that band practice and ikjun said "but why do i get the feeling that this will be our last jam session?" MY HEART LITERALLY BROKE OKAY I WAS ON THE VERGE OF TEARS THAT WAS SO UNNECESSARY 😭💔 idk wHy but that line made me soso sadd and it made that ep feel really melancholic aaaa 😔 awh but them watching that sunset together healed my heart at least 🥺

hELP this turned out aLOT longer than i expected askdksks IM SO SORRY ill put the rest in another ask 🤣

ann! omg i relate so much with the brain cells thing. i barely have any energy to read fics with higher thinking skills HAHAHA. that's why i reserve it during moments when i do actually have the time + energy bc aaaaa the fics here deserve love and the writers deserve love!

AND YES HOSPITAL PLAYLIST TIME!

THE ENDING—okay i'm not a crier, but i sobbed. especially the sunset scene like WHERE AM I GOING TO FIND ANOTHER REASON TO GO THROUGH EACH WEEK NOW?! and the whole ep was just them tying loose ends and when ikjun said, "why does this feel like our last jam session?" IT'S BECAUSE IT'S THE LAST TIME WE'RE GOING TO SEE YOU PERFORM SO DON'T STOP PLEASE GO ON FOR ANOTHER SEASON PLEASE

yes! the friendships! and i agree! i love the slice of life genre so much! cause it actually reflects what happens in real life. like, no one's all lovey dovey and affectionate all the time. human relationships thrive through subtle ways of taking care of each other. and the drama portrayed that so well. (EVERY DRAMA OF SHIN WONHO PD DOES AAAA REPLY 1988 PLEASE?)

and the juniors! i loved them! minha, gyeoul, daehak, seokmin, sunbin, yunbok, hongdo! AAAAAA i could go on and on!

and yes! the romance! i loved how at the beginning of s1, they were all just establishing the story, the friendship and the patient-doctor, and doctor-doctor relationships. but gradually, they infused hints of romance. like how gyeoul had a crush on jeongwon and how ikjun went to songhwa's appointment. the little things that shows how much they liked them was so cute and endearing to watch!

abt the rushed thing, HAHAHA is this about junwan x iksun? HAHAHAHA i think that's the most rushed among all. i feel like the others paced themselves well. i mean, i would've loved seeing more of minha x seokhyeong, and the dynamic of songhwa x ikjun x uju (AND OMG UJU! YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN IN THE FINALE!) also, i would've loved to see gyeoul's reaction to jeongwon's proposal huhuhuhu.

AND YES! I WAS MOST EXCITED FOR MINHA X SEOKHYEONG IN S2! bc seokhyeong went through a lot of things and he managed to survive through all of them. and he's so kind and he deserves to smile all the time and be happy. and i'm glad he let minha in to be that light that he needs.

and yes! jeongwon x gyeoul! they were the couple i was rooting for in s1 the most! THEY WERE SO SO CUTE AND I LOVED ALL THE TIMES THEY TRIED TO HIDE THEIR RELATIONSHIP IN S2 HAHAHAHA.

and ikjun the matchmaker was so cute!!!!

and yeah... iksun x junwan was cute but rawr i wished iksun would've just told the truth in the beginning. they both just suffered more and rawr. junwan in one ep was so pitiful huuhuhu i wanted to give him a hug. but anyway, they made up so all is good. she better treat him better next time! hmp

AND OMG SONGHWA X IKJUN!!! THEY WERE AHQLEIHQLIHFQ they've finally come full circle. i started really REALLY rooting for them in s1 when uju got sick! that was such a touching moment how songhwa took care of his son as if he was her own. and she took them camping too! huhuhuhu they were so cute! and the food scenes! what would i pay to have someone ask me to eat with him? AAAAAAA

HAHAHHAHAHAHA DON'T WORRY ANN I HAVE A LOT TO SAY TOO! ON TO THE NEXT ASK—

[irisbleufic]

Are you only updating Learning Our Names once a week? Sorry I'm a spoiled brat with your fics. I'm moaning about a lack of updates every 48hr or so OTL

Yep, once a week.  The last two weeks in a row, I got the first two installments up on either Wednesday or Thursday, so I’m aiming for the same thing this week.  The third installment is about 50% done, and I might be able to finish it tonight.  I’ve been keeping these chapters strictly within a 2k - 4k range each, and strictly split-POV.  I wanted to retain the structure of WYFIR (at least from an alternating-POV standpoint), but on a compact scale.  LON is a lengthy prompt-fill for a friend who’s not fussed about how long completion will take, so I’m just coasting along after sacrificing April - June to my own compulsion.  It’s student-hordes-descend season again, so I’m starting to get swamped at work.  Once a week is about what I can manage when that’s the case!  Thanks for asking even so.

[theseoks]

They're releasing literally two days after my birthday, I'm crying! Whyyyyy ~ T.T Also, how was your weekend, Fel? Mine was pretty laid back, which was nice. I slept a lot, which was good. :) I also finished Goblin and cried a lot, but also kinda liked the way it ended? I just didn't like the way certain things were out of time period... or rather a little dated for the time period they were supposedly portraying... if you get what I mean. Though I'm not sure what I was expecting tbh. x

S~ omgosh i’m sorry for replying you so late kdjnvkdn. i was out today and got caught up with both bangtan broadcasts and all that stuff ;n;

ahhhh, so your birthday’s on the 11th? naiseeee. and yes omgosh dkfnvkfdnvjdn 13TH FEB. HOW CAN WE READY OURSELVES BY THEN? will we ever be ready? can we ever be ready? (T⌓T) pre-order is opening tomorrowww kdfjksjncksjdnc idk if i wanna pre-order or wait for a group order idkkk IT’S TOO CONFUSING. and also which version to get??? should i get one? should i treat myself and get both??? WHAT’S IN THE ALBUMS, WHAT’S THE CONCEPTS? DO I WANT TO WAIT, DO I NOT NEED TO WAIT???? OTL

ahhh, i finished goblin too~! hmmm, i didn’t find the ending too gr8 tbh. :< i would rather have the show end once everyone left (check tags if u dunno what i mean, i don’t wanna spoil the show for anyone whoops). hmmm, i’m not too sure what you meant by dated since i was kinda watching it for the FEELSSSSS -falls over crying- did they ever specify what year the show was set in tho? @_@ i don’t really remember anymore rip. all i can say is, the drama was really solid and wow, it’s been a while since i actually completed a drama kdjfnkjdnfv the last one i watched was marriage contract with uee and hahahah tears everywhere.

my weekend was pretty good, i guess...? i collected my copy of blonote on saturday with a friend and we spent hours chatting over dessert~ had a family dinner then too, it was supposed to be a reunion dinner with my extended family but it didn’t work out on their end so... it was good though~ I LOVE SATAY (meat skewers) SO MUCH FDKJNKSJDNCK. it wasn’t very chinese for a chinese new year reunion but man, idc the food was amazing i love food kksdjncksjnc. cries, sunday was just me having lunch out and then heading in to work but mehhh it was a pretty solid weekendddd. GLAD TO HEAR YOU GOT TO SLEEP A LOT OVER YOUR WEEKEND, S~! i hope you’re well rested for the week ahead~!

[spring-emerald]

MatsuDai for the ask meme ;)? (I feel like I'm sitting in the middle of the desert and I'm so thirsty)

How differently dothey think of each other now compared to when they first met?

Honestly, they didn’t think much of each other at first, butMatsukawa’s noticed Daichi’s receives and grudgingly admitted that he’s good.Daichi on the other hand was more worried about the threat Oikawa and Iwaizumiposed, on top of his worries about his own team.

But a chance meeting at the sports shop they’re both regularcustomers of, and a spontaneous field trip (because the thing was out of stock,and the store owner was kind enough to recommend another place) changed some ofthat. And so Daichi learned about memes and now have a grudging appreciation ofit on some level, while Matsukawa is quite sold with Daichi’s age old dadjokes.

What do theirfriends/family think of their relationship?

Their respective teams were mostly “How did that happen?” atfirst. But no one ever goes against Daichi, and Matsukawa can easily deflectand turn things around on Oikawa.

How do theirpersonalities/skills complement or contrast with each other?

Matsukawa’s pretty chill about most things, and is mostlydown with just going with the flow. Daichi, on the other hand, well, he seemschill on the outside, but he’s actually low key cannot take things sittingdown, without him doing anything so…

What is theirfavorite aspect of each other?

How they appreciate each other’s sense of humor, withoutbeing judged.

Do either of themhave pet peeves about each other?

I don’t see them as the type that would have pet peevesabout each other.

How would eachreconcile with each other after a fight?

Daichi would start a spiel out of nowhere, and explain whyhe acted the way he did and offer an apology after.

Matsukawa would start by saying something funny and wouldgauge Daichi’s reaction to that. If Daichi as much offers a small smile, itmeans it’s a good time to issue an apology.

What would be theirideal vacation getaway together?

Nothing specific in particular, and I don’t know why, butthese two strike me as hipster travelers? Like they would purposefully findvirtually unknown places, go there, and just brag that they’ve been to thatplace before it got famous or something. Yeah, that sounds like a perfectgetaway for them.

Think of a new way(AU, different situation, etc.) they could have met for the first time.

That one right up there! Meeting at a sport shop AU!

Like, imagine they were there to buy the exact same thing(athletic tape, maybe) but it’s the last stock, so they like have this weirdcompetition who should get it. Or alternatively, they found each other quitepretty so they gave up the thing, only to have the other refuse and it’s acycle that ended up with a coffee date and each other’s number.

>_<Matsukawa’s an enigma to me, I’m so sorry about that! OTL

Thank you so much and I hope you’ll still enjoy this nevertheless! And that I somehow quenched the thirst of yours. 

I may or may not need pointers about Matsukawa, for future reference. You know, like for Daichi rarepair week, maybe?