#someone already did this right?

[lover-of-mine]

[moongothic]

Crocodad AU where immidiately after having left Dragon and his baby boy Crocodile finds an 11 year old Robin. And while he's 100% only recruiting her so they can make a beeline for the Poneglyph and Pluton in Alabasta by the two of them... Crocodile accidentally sorta kinda adopts Robin.

At this point Robin's been running for her life from the Government for three years so her deep trust issues and fear of betrayal are starting to take root in her little heart. Like perhaps they haven't taken fully over yet, and being still a child I'm sure Robin might've still had that genuine hope that she could find a safe place to stay in. But I'm sure the though of "what'll he'll do with me once he gets what he wants?" would be nagging at her at the back of her mind. Meanwhile Crocodile's struggling between the pain and hurt he's already gone through and given him his trademark trust issues, as well as the aftermath of The Dragodile Divorce. But he also has his Fresh Paternal Instincts and probably misses his baby. So when given a small, scared child who is running for her life, being chased by the very same Government that'll want his son dead if they ever find out about him... Yeah that might fuck with your brain a little

You know this post was supposed to be just that first paragraph and just a few footnotes from the following two paragraphs. And then I kept on Having Thoughts. And I kept on writing them down. And oh no what happened when did this post get so long (Look I was going to either kept on writing my Additional Thoughts in the tags or I just put them in the actual fucking post)

Like considder this: based on this one SBS, we can kinda tell that if Crocodile was given a chance to raise a child, that child would be a spoiled little shit, right

So in this scenario, where Crocodile's looking after lil Robin, would he be kind of torn? Unsure how to feel about her?

Because on one hand, this strange child would have the potential to not only ruin his plans, strip him of his Shichibukai Privileges by outing him and his plans to the World Government, but also put his son in grave danger by extension (if she found out about him having been involved with the Revolutionaries and/or having a child). But on the other hand, his paternal instincts could make him want to spoil this poor little girl rotten. But only because he needs to (perhaps literally) buy her trust so she'll behave. No other reason, he doesn't feel sorry for her one bit, no sirree. (But maybe he did feel sorry for her, since his son could very well end up exactly like her. Poor little thing) (Which is why he needs to nuke Marijoa out of orbit as soon as possible, no matter the cost, and this child can't get in the way of Crocodile protecting his son) (But also this is a child. Like how bad could she be. Besides all he really needs to do to win her trust is be nice and make her feel safe, right?)

Of course, while I'm suggesting Crocodile could have some parental instincts, realistically, he hasn't actually spent any time being, you know, a father to a child (looking after his newborn for an unknown though short amount of time aside), so it's possible he wouldn't even know how to parent Robin even if he wanted to, would he? (Like taking care of a newborn and an 11 year old kid aren't the same either) So if he was kind of just emotionally flipflopping between No Trusting Ever and It's Just A Kid for God's Sake, Crocodile trying to be nice to Robin to make her feel safe and then telling himself to stop being so soft and vunerable... Yeah that would make for an absolute mess of a relationship. (Not to mention, let's be real, dude's a scary motherfucker too, and a bloody giant compared to itty bitty baby Robin. He could keep on accidentally scaring the shit out of Robin (who would be On Fucking Edge To Begin With) by just Being Himself. Like for example, can you fucking imagine if he caught Robin trying to cheer herself up with a little "dereshishishi" only to tell her to stop because "it was stupid"? 'Cause I can imagine him doing that, and boy howdy would that make Robin feel bad)

Or who knows, maybe Crocodile was just Born To Be A Dad, maybe he just Fucking Gets It. Like Crocodile is canonically pretty good at manipulating people to do what he wants them to do (see: how he played Vivi like a fiddle), so knowing Robin's position and understanding how she feels, maybe he COULD completely nail how she needed to be treated. Not being too familiar but still making her feel safe and happy, knowing exactly when to be stern and when to spoil her, etc. Dude just goes off and wins the Dad of the Year Award while being a deadbeat dad himself. The only thing Crocodile would have to worry about then would be making sure HE doesn't get too fond of her. And certainly that could never happen, he's so in-touch with his own feelings and so grounded, he's not a softie, get outta here. Or maybe he does but never realizes until it's too late and good luck backpedalling on those emotions now dumbass

Alright so, the reason I went on that whole rmble is just that like. I'm so interested in the relationship Robin and Crocodile already have in canon. I'm so facinated and curious about how the two feel about each other, considdering they did spend 4 whole years of their lives together as criminal business partners, though neither ever trusted the other. A partnership that was only ended because Robin betrayed Crocodile, out of her own trauma. (God, I want to see these two "reunite" so bad, I want to know how they feel about each other now after the timeskip and Robin joining the idiot in flipflops who foiled Croc's plans)

My question here is just that... if they had met 13 years earlier, would things have been different? Especially if Crocodad Real? Because as I mentioned in the begining, Robin would've been on the run for only 3 years by this point, as opposed to 16 years before running into Crocodile. Simultaneously, this would be before Crocodile went onto spend an entire decade all alone, slowly losing his marbles in his emotional solitude. They'd both be emotionally traumatized, yes, but would it have been as bad in this scenario? Like I did start this post kind of joking about Crocodile adopting Robin, and for clarity's sake I don't think they'd have like a father-daughter relationship nececarily. But it would be a strange relationship still, because we'd have two broken people, both struggling to trust anyone. One who had lost her mother and her only friends, leaving her all alone and afraid while running for her life. The other a father who had just given up his son whom he probably missed dearly. Both having these holes in their hearts from loss of family, holes that could not be filled with replacements. But could they find comfort in each other anyway, because they still as people occupy similar roles to their respective loved ones? If they both could just get over those trust issues?

Okay I've been going off on the Emotional Side Of Things for this AU Concept, THERE'S PLOT TOO

So if Crocodile did pick Robin up like 19 years ago, that should be before he set up base in Alabasta, long before he had built is homebase and financial empire etc.

Now the thing is, while we don't know when, where and how Crocodile learned about the Ancient Weapons, Pluton specifically and how the lead on it would be in Alabasta... Considdering Crocodile did once upon a time aim to become Pirate King, it would make perfect sense if he had learned about Poneglyphs during his past adventures, as he would have needed to get the Road Poneglyphs to find One Piece. And while the World Government did bury the truth about why Ohara had been burned down and why Robin had been given her bounty (remember, the WG claimed it was because she had sunken a fleet of battleships, which she had not, it was because she could read the Poneglyphs), considdering this is a Crocodad AU specifically, you could totally make an argument Crocodile could've learned about what actually happened to Ohara from Dragon and co. So, just to make this AU work, you could just assume Crocodile learned about the concept of the Ancient Weapons from Dragon. And who knows, maybe he overheard the truth about why Robin had been given her bounty from Dragon too (maybe Dragon was able to get intel from Garp in secret) or while going to Marijoa himself to attend a Shichibukai meeting or something IDK.

Maybe he learned about Pluton being in Alabasta before finding Robin by accident, and maybe they made a beeline for Alabasta the second Croc recruited Robin. Travelling takes time and the guy would've most likely had to find an Eternal Pose to Alabasta just to get there (also canonically Robin didn't enter the Grand Line until her 20s so they should've met in West Blue probably, since that's where Ohara was) Or maybe Crocodile had to haul Robin around for a few months while looking for That Missing Piece of Information that would lead him to Alabasta. (Imagine the two travelling from like island to island, library to library, Crocodile trying to find that leads while Robin's just so excited about ALL THESE BOOKS (she's helping too with the research) (but to her, research is playtime, so she's just having the time of her life) (Also, notice how Crocodile's Theoretical Child is a fucking loser ass nerd? Yeah Crocodile would encourage Robin reading and studying, surely. And that would be fucking cute))

But like, once they set sail to Alabasta...

Sure, Crocodile could try to do it The Slow Way that we know he tried in canon, building trust and creating his little empire etc. But also, in canon, Crocodile couldn't have jumped into action head first because without Robin, even if he had found the Poneglyph he couldn't have read it and found the location of Pluton. Crocodile choosing to do it the slow way may have been partially because he didn't have much of a choise and it could've felt like the smarter move long-term.

But in this scenario, he already has Robin. Yes, he could do it the slow, secure way.

But what'd be there stopping him from infiltrating Cobra's palace and kidnapping him (in the night, when nobody suspects a thing), demanding Cobra to spill the beans lest Crocodile kills him and/or his pregnant wife* (*Vivi was born 10 months after Luffy so depending on how long it's been between Crocodad leaving Luffy behind and this scenario... Yeah either the wife is there, still pregnant, or there's a newborn Baby Vivi)

Like it'd be a risky move but depending on how ballsy Croc's feeling and how confident he feels in being able to kidnap the king without being noticed... Yeah he could probably do it. And I'm sure he'd have no problem killing Cobra either, if anything it'd be required if he didn't want the Government to find out he was out to find Pluton, and god knows Cobra would tell on Crocodile if left alive. I could see Crocodad being maybe a little iffy about killing Baby Vivi though (it's not like the newborn baby could report him to the WG anyways), but if nothing else, he just needs to be able to pull off the bluff of his life to convince Cobra to do as he's told. And we all know Crocodile's good at convincing people.

The only question is, how would Robin take that?

Watching Crocodile go into Full Murder Mode, hearing him say he'd kill a pregnant woman/a newborn baby if he didn't get what he wanted? Like yeah, I'm sure 11 year old Robin would be fine with that, that wouldn't make any alarm bells go off in her head at all, it'd be fiiiine. IT WOULD NOT BE FINE, SHE'D BE SCARED SHITLESS. That fear of "what will he do with me when he gets what he wants"? Well, Robin may not have found the answer to that question in particular, but she certainly found the answer to the opposite question, and it's not good

So say Cobra, kidnapped (perhaps with Baby Vivi) by Crocodile in the night, guides the two to the Poneglyph under the tombs. Crocodile puts Cobra out of his misery because he's not needed anymore. And he asks Robin to read the Poneglyph for him.

Robin, who has spent the last little while, be it weeks or months with Crocodile, him having become her "guardian", the thing keeping her safe. Crocodile, who has now shown how cold blooded and cruel he can be. Robin, who might be scared out of her mind. Of him.

And the Poneglyph says Pluton, the thing Crocodile wants, isn't there. It's in Wano.

What's she going to do?

EDIT: I wrote a sequel post, enjoy

[hugs-and-stabbies]

The self-awareness on this guy 😞 someone pls send him an "are you bi?" quiz STAT

[demigods-posts]

something about annabeth being twelve years old. telling percy she'd let her father rot in the underworld. while also wearing his ring on her neck. really breaks me. because she'll spend the next five years trying to fix what her father broke. and ultimately blame herself for the cracks in the window. but he's the one that gave her the hammer. and it'll take her years to admit that. so instead. she'll just wear the necklace like a noose. and let it slowly kill her. because she'd rather quietly carry his burden. than admit she never had the strength.

[jade-len]

i think it'd be funny if someone transmigrated as xin mo. the goddamn evil sword. instead of taking it seriously, they just really fucked around with bingge. and, somehow, ended up having the opposite effect of what it's supposedly rumored to do.

picture this: bingge, on the quest for revenge and power, comes across the almighty xin mo. this demonic sword killed everyone that dared to even try wielding it. and, the few who were lucky enough to have it by their side, eventually succumbed to the swords' will.

it is said that the sword is unlike any other, that it etches into your head and eats away your brain, until eventually it consumes you whole. it whispers, speaking in lust, greed, and hatred. it slowly beckons the wielder into giving in to the worst part of themselves and feeds off of pure sin. but to him, it is no matter; luo bingge will surely tame it.

and then he gets to the sword.

demonic qi practically oozes from xin mo. the aura surrounding it makes every part of luo bingge scream, "run; get away, away from that monster." his gut prods at him, begging bingge that this is probably a really bad idea. it's a little terrifying, how even luo bingge, the determined, vengeful demon, is now getting second thoughts about wielding xin mo from just being in its presence alone.

but luo bingge is too, a monster. so he ignores the screams of plea; pushing every thought of doubt in the back of his head, and tightly grips onto the handle. the world around him seems to spin and shake, tumble and crack, from the amount of force bingge needs to use in order to pull the sword of sin out of its place.

when bingge finally has it perfectly fit into the palms of his calloused hands, he hears whispering. he knows that the sword has accepted him as its new host.

the sword's language crawls up to him, as if it were feeling around his body and mind. checking every nook and cranny for it to settle into bingge's form, truly becoming one with the embodiment of sin. the words flow through his brain like a tragically broken guqin, a melody that holds him in a frighteningly familiar trance - all while simultaneously eating away at his brain in the worst ways possible, akin to a child and their favorite snack. it seems to beckon something, but even with luo bingge's impressive hearing, he cannot make out any words from the tone-deaf musical notes xin mo sings.

and then, it is clear. the land around him settles, and everything is still. xin mo itself seems to be.. content. at least, that is what luo bingge believes.

the language of this wretched sword reflects the state around these two monsters.

luo bingge expects it to demand for bloodshed, for the erotic ecstasy of multiple women, for bingge to steal the last of the finest gems of these horrible, vast lands.

instead, he hears this:

"yoooo damn that shit was crazy. did you see what i did there? man, you know, it feels so fucking good to get out of the dirt. hey, do you know if people can like, feed their swords or something? i'm kinda craving something spicy. we never know, in this wack world! wait, don't hold me like that, buddy. it'll make things real awkward."

but luo bingge is determined to get his revenge, so he puts up with the swords' constant rambling about.. whatever the hell it's thinking.

"wait, dude, did you seriously fuck a dying girl? that's wild. yeah, like i know she was dying but it doesn't sound like you wanted it. yo, listen to me, consent is very sexy."

"HAHA hey, dude, sir, man. you wanna play some 'i spy'? we don't have anything else to do. no? too bad, we're playing it. i spy a loser who doesn't wanna play i spy. hint: he's holding me right now."

"okay i know i'm supposed to be this super evil sword and beg to be used - woah that sounded real wrong - but can you at least clean me when you're done killing shit? if you don't, i'm gonna refuse to respond to you and you'll look like a dumbass trying to wield me."

"i can't hear you lalalalalalala you're not being very it girl right now lallalalaalalalla-"

somehow, this is worse than if xin mo was actually eating away at his brain.

weirdly enough though, as luo bingge starts spending more time with this weird ass, seemingly possessed sword, it starts to become more of a.. comfort to have it by his side than pure annoyance. he finds himself responding to it more, like, actually having full on conversations with it. it puts him at ease, wielding xin mo. the hatred doesn't consume him, instead, it seems to soothe the burning rage (and, admittedly, just replace it with small irritation) that holds onto his darkened heart.

xin mo is actually quite kind and caring, for a sword that's supposed represent and be the literal embodiment of sin. sure, it is a hassle to have it cooperate with him sometimes, and it does just ramble on and on about the most random things ever, not giving a single shit if bingge was in the middle of sleeping with maidens and slaying those who get in his way. for the first time, bingge feels so comfortable around something.

it's.. odd. what was supposed to be the turning point in his life, a big step in his plan for revenge, is now something akin to an... acquaintance. not like mobei-jun, or any of the women he's come across, but an actual, dare he say, friend.

sometimes, he finds himself thinking all of this delusional. is this what people were driven mad by? perhaps they simply could not handle dealing with a talking sword. he understands that xin mo was undoubtedly unbearable to be around at the beginning of their alliance, but it has never actually beckoned for blood, power, and sex. if anything, it does the opposite.

maybe he's the delusional one. maybe this is xin mo's way of getting to him.

maybe, xin mo should be considered a thing. the thought feels terribly laughable, as if he were witnessing a person horribly explain themselves. it also makes his teeth grind together in pure agitation.

"hey, you know, you didn't deserve any of the things they did. it wasn't your fault, binghe. the fact that you're half heavenly demon doesn't make you a monster, or any of that wild stuff.. uh, i'm here for you, okay? i know you don't really like talking about all of this or opening up, but i just want you to know that you can.. talk about it. it's not like i can tell anyone else, anyways.

hey- shit i didn't mean to make you cry! wait, wait it's okay to cry! you need to let it out anyways, i promise it doesn't make you weak. there, there. i don't have any hands, so me patting you on the head with my handle will have to do. there, there.. everything will be alright, you'll be okay. i'll be here every step of the way, even if you want to get rid of me."

xin mo, the demonic sword, is more of a person - a good person - than anyone he'd ever come across.

...and then bingge and the xin mo transmigrator become besties or he falls for the damn sword. knowing him, he probably doesn't even know the difference between platonic and romantic attraction anyways. maybe bingge gets a plant body for xin mo using airplane's wack writing. idk i typed all of this down in one sitting.

(plot twist: it's not that the transmigrator xin mo had the opposite effect, it was literally just a placebo effect. luo bingge thought that, and thus it actually did help him lmao)

[pizzaqueen]

Eddie is forever grumbling about “losing” his shirts, storming out of their room and flopping dramatically on the couch, declaring his favorite shirt is gone forever, it was there one minute and now it’s just gone. Gone gone gone!

And Steve will sigh and say it can’t be lost, shirts don’t just get up and walk out and Eddie will say this one did! all but harrumphing. So Steve will go in their room, look through the same pile of shirts Eddie looked through a moment ago, and come back out, holding it up, saying “this shirt?”

And Eddie will say it wasn’t there when he looked and they’re all black, it was camouflaged, and take the shirt half-annoyed, half-sheepish and murmur something about how there’s definitely a shirt stealing gremlin living in their walls that takes Eddie’s shirts then puts them back for Steve to find and make Eddie look like an idiot

And Steve will roll his eyes and try not to smile knowing it will happen again and again. And some days he finds it amusing, others annoying, but it’s all part of living together

[devildomwriter]

“Well, it’s sort of a long story, but… One of the largest dragons in existence at the time was summoned against me, and I was nearly burned alive. Among other things.”

“…How did you even make someone angry enough to do that?”

— Solomon and Beelzebub (Chapter 45-4)

[misspoetree]

KinnPorsche + Text Posts: Anniversary Edition

FAVOURITE SUPPORTING CHARACTER(S) - Big | Tay

[many more text post memes]

[tswwwit]

i have a counter argument to the 'only one person can boop bill' thing, mabel. she's the type of person to slap stickers on people, she would definitely be the type to also boop others occasionally and bill would be no exception. she probably doesn't do it to annoy bill like dipper would, but maybe as a form of a friendly gesture, kind of like those people who will lightly punch friends in the arm when they hang out.

You know what? Good point. Mabel would get away with more than most, as a fun-loving lady! Bill understands those impulses, and being a touchy person! He indulges in similar ones himself.

Though when Bill's not in the mood to be playful and gets booped anyway? The 'sister-in-law' status grants her considerable grace.

[brazilian-whalien52]

So the boop and a conversation with my mutual (@killerandhealerqueen) made me want to bring back an old tumblr tradition! So prepare yourself

QL Blogs

@subtextsays / @thisonelikesaliens / @chitaprrrrrrrr /@petraplatypuspan / @qt-qtoey / @my-rose-tinted-glasses / @iamdarthbader /@telomeke / @sunshinechay / @khathastrophe / @wen-kexing-apologist / @ohtehhh / @negrowhat / @shannankle / @23point5degree / @callipigio / @sparklyeyedhimbo / @respectthepetty /@slayerkitty / @ebdbd / @braceletofteeth/ @absolutebl / @kristsingto / @lurkingshan / @hyperfocusmadness/ @babetanatat / @mikuni14 / @benkaaoi

Danmei

@ahhhnorealnamesallowed / @killerandhealerqueen / @averydedicateduck / @foralleternityidiot / @dual-domination

Nerds

@geometricalien / @kennyomegasweave / @momofmysquad / @hhuta / @rhomaa2 / @invisiblewords-invisibleworlds / @uozlulu / @anaiblack / @gloster / @nenehyuuchiha / @jackpoompkin / @kami-no-ikku / @morganadelacour / @dollopheadsandclotpoles / @hometothecanyonmoon / @lamb200345567 / @eros-avalon / @italianpersonwithashippersheart / @artemis-in-space / @bianxiousandcute / @kattahj / @kuronekonerochan/ @hautegirl07 / @superwholockian93 / @free-to-be-no-one-but-mee

Otaku

@latinokokonoi / @hyperbolicgrinch / @enteisabo / @sundaesonthursdays/ @ashedddaisy

Chilling

@chaotic-aro-incarnate / @mistsinthenight / @loomss / @apeirotilio / @mellstheprincess / @thepancakelady / @desmonds-comic-sans / @gravedangerahead / @peatbogbody/ @diekatimitdemhutohnehut / @of-fishes-and-birdcages / @justheretohangout / @softneomiro / @umbelina-e-helena-na-luz

Now you may ask what does this category mean? Well nothing, most people I follow post about anything. I just thought it would be easier to find blogs with similar tastes this way. I based the categories on the day I open their tumblr and what they are posting. Chilling are for people that I saw a lot of memes over fandom stuff and nerds is for more western fandom (tv shows, books, movies) and also anime. I also know that a lot of danmei fans don't necessarily watch other QL that is why I put them in a different category. The others are more self explanatory but like I said, I love to follow chaotic posters like me so it is worth checking them all. By the way, I am quite forgetful so there is a lot of blogs that did not make here, but if I do another one I may add.

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Tim’s done a great job of introducing Marisol says Ryan - yes he saw how bad her acting was and gave her as little screen time as possible while still having her there 🤭🤭🤭

[twpsyn-who]

JeanMarco in which Jean slowly falls for Marco while Marco always thought they were a couple is so funny to me guys like you don't understand how much I love this concept of, you know,,, Jean having this realization that he's in love with his best friend and getting so anxious about it because what if Marco doesn't feel the same??? Mikasa was proof enough that confessing wasn't an option, he didn't want to ruin their friendship. But man doesn't he love Marco so much.

Meanwhile Marco is like 'Man I wonder what my boyfriend is doing right now' while working on his ODM with Armin. 'I can't wait to spend some time with Jean, maybe we will go star watching tonight'. To Marco they're already married with two kids coming soon. Don't ask him how he gets hold of two kids, he's working on it. The idea is that they are together your honor

[ohitslen]

Part two of the thing and uuh also final one

Of this interaction. Because this is far from all I can give, my brain almost imploded from all the ideas

[cerise-on-top]

Got any Farah, Valeria, & Laswell hcs? Anything, really- I'm dying for my girls 🤲🤲🤲

Hello! Yeah, I was able to come up with a few! I already wrote a few for Valeria here! Somehow, I forgot to put them in my masterlist, though, which I have since fixed! Thank you for making me aware of this, though :-) These are general Headcanons, though, since I had an easier time coming up with those and because you didn't specify, I hope that's okay!

Valeria, Farah and Laswell HCs

Valeria: She’s always had quite the temper, even when she was young. While she may not have been spoiled to hell and back as a child, she usually got what she wanted, as long as it wasn’t something extraordinarily big, her parents always took care of her like that. Valeria loved her mother, they got along very well with each other, and she also took after her, having inherited her personality for the most part. Her father was a bit calmer than the two of them, but that didn’t mean they didn’t get along either. Whereas her mother would encourage her to do most things, her father would try to talk sense into her if it was a bad idea. She often sulked because of it, which is why she didn’t like her father as much as her mother, but as she got older she realized he meant well. Sometimes she still thinks about his advice, but the both of them died a long time ago, so most things they’ve told her are a distant memory by now. Valeria may be successful with what she’s doing and doesn’t like being told what to do, but sometimes she does wish she could still eat some sweets with her parents like she used to.

Joining the military actually wasn’t her first choice of career. She tried many places, but no one would take her, so she opted for the military, which welcomed her with open arms. She got paid. Not well, but she received the money, which was important since her parents couldn’t leave her with too much. They didn’t have very much either, so there wasn’t much to be inherited. Because she’s a woman, a few creeps tried to harass her, but she had none of it and beat all three of them up herself and on her own. Ever since that incident she wasn’t a big fan of the military either, but no other place would take her. However, it showed just how capable she was and earned her a lot of respect. A few other men would try to make advances towards her, but she shot them down every time. However, whenever another female soldier would jokingly flirt with her, that’s when she’d give it her all, making it her goal to fluster her beyond all hell. She’s spent a few evenings and nights with a few female soldiers, but was always willing to rip a male soldier’s dick off if he was being too friendly with her. During her time as a soldier she also realized that she preferred women.

She didn’t always hate Alejandro, actually. Back in the day, they got along very well. He was a man, yes, but he had enough respect for her. It wasn’t a given, even if it should have been, but she appreciated it. Whenever they sparred he gave it his all as well and never looked down on her. In his eyes, the two of them were equals and it showed. Valeria could appreciate that. She liked him, she spent a night with him but realized she hated that sort of stuff with men. He was the final realization for her that Valeria does not like men. It didn’t make her hate him at first, though. Only when he insisted on the two of them being a thing did she develop some form of disdain for him. Once she told him that she could never feel the same way, he stopped. However, he also started treating her a bit differently since he was in love with her. As he rose in ranks, he was a bit harsher on her than the other soldiers, usually dissatisfied with anything she did. He didn’t even notice that, but Valeria did. Therefore he became just another scum to her.

Farah: Before her town got attacked, she actually had a pretty happy childhood. She was sweet and kind as a kid, she got along well with her parents and her brother and she had a few close friends. Farah loved going outside to play, sometimes even inviting her parents to make potions with her in a bucket filled with water, sand and rocks. Her parents were always afraid of the Russians invading and tried to keep their children safe regardless of what happened, but in the end they were unable to. It hit Farah pretty hard, she loved her parents. Even now she misses them dearly since they always took such good care of her and her brother. At least she still had her brother. Farah knew she was the younger one out of the two of them, so she likely should have been the one to be protected, but once her town got attacked she became determined to make sure her brother would stay with her. Drastic times called for drastic measures, so she actually has killed people just so her brother could stay alive. It was around that time that other people realized how she was a very caring person still and could be trusted. Slowly, through that realization, she was able to gather a small force that could help her.

Farah is a pretty good leader. The people she works with adore her because, under that rough exterior, she’s still a good person. All her brothers and sisters know she can be trusted with just about anything. She rarely ever says no upon hearing a request of one of her people, knowing fully well what it’s like to need something. As she’s been through a lot herself, she always has an open ear for her brothers and sisters. While there’s not always time to listen to everyone’s concerns, if she does have time she’ll listen to you intently. Farah knows a lot more about her people than she lets on, that ranges from how the latest battle has gone to how her sister’s family is doing. She’s never one to turn down someone in need, always offering food and shelter. I know she may seem stern, because she has to be in order to be a good leader, but deep down she’s still the same kind girl that she’s always been. Her people would give up just about anything for her, and they do. One day, Farah dreams, Urzikstan will be free, it will be safe and it will prosper, its people won’t have anything to fear anymore. Trade will continue, the people will be happy and she can finally lay down her weary head and rest for a bit. But until then, she swore she’ll fight and fight until everything is finally over.

She’s never actually been in love. When she had the chance to develop a crush she was too young. Now that she’s older she doesn’t have time for anything lovey dovey in the slightest. Alex was the first person she ever developed a crush on. He may have seemed like an enemy at first, but it quickly enough became evident that that couldn’t be further from the truth. He was a good man, someone who could be trusted no matter what. He was loyal to a fault as well, which Farah could appreciate. However, she never told him, swallowing her feelings down instead no matter how intense they became. Yet, she sort of did always look forward to his small gestures of affection. Alex is a physically affectionate guy, so he’d sometimes pat her shoulder, put a hand on her shoulder or gently bump her arm to show he liked her. Farah is severely touch starved, so it made for a good combination. One time, he asked if she would like a hug, to which she said yes. To this day, Farah thinks about that hug since it was the first one she had received in seven or eight years. It may not have seemed like she was swayed at the time, but she was very content afterwards.

Laswell: Laswell’s parents didn’t really care too much for her. Don’t get me wrong, they provided for her physical needs, but they barely looked after her in any other regard, thinking she was happy because she had everything she could ever need. Laswell may have been strong because of it, even then, but she did wish her parents had cared more about other things as well, such as how she was doing emotionally. There were quite a few things that hurt her during her childhood, but she barely had anyone who would support her during her rough times. Her parents only ever wanted to see her happy and content, but barely made any effort to actually keep her as such. Laswell knew fairly early on that she was a lesbian and did come out to her parents, but that’s all that happened. It was never discussed again afterwards, even if her father would sometimes say that she would “find the right guy eventually” while talking to other people. Laswell has called him out on it numerous times, but he always made it about him and how he was the victim for saying something that made his daughter uncomfortable. Laswell didn’t stay in contact with her parents for very long once she moved out.

Even back when she was a child, Laswell knew she wanted to do something more exciting than be a hairdresser, waitress or cook. She wanted to do something with plenty of action, but at the same time she wanted to study and go to university. And thus she combined her wishes and started going to university at first. Afterwards, sometime in her twenties, she started to work for the CIA. She wasn’t treated with very much respect there at first, being a woman working there and all. But she didn’t let that disrespect get her down. In fact, on the outside, she stayed professional, but on the inside she took mental notes on who treated her badly and who didn’t. It soon enough became evident that Laswell knew what she was doing, even if her master’s degree should have been proof enough that there was some intelligence in that noggin of hers. However, soon enough she was transferred. In fact, she was transferred many times before she became a station chief, but it only showed just how competent she was in her field. Laswell has since saved thousands of lives and is proud of it. To her, such a thing is her calling and she wants to continue doing so for as long as she can, all the dangers be damned.

Laswell adores her wife. In fact, “Laswell” isn’t her original last name, she took that of her wife. At first they played with the idea of combining their names, but Laswell wanted fairly little to do with her parents at that point. Plus she wanted to show her father that she never “found the right guy”. So her being named Laswell is purely out of spite. While she may not be at home all the time, or very often, for that matter, she makes sure to bring her wife a gift every time she comes home. It can be something small, such as a souvenir she found while she was abroad, or it could be something along the lines of a golden ring that unfolds into an astronomical sphere. She needs to pamper her wife like that and make sure she knows Laswell loves her to the moon and back. Money isn’t an issue for her, she gets paid very well. Even if the biggest reward for her doing what she does is seeing her wife smile. Every time she sees her give her a big smile she’s reminded of why she does what she does, and that’s the most wonderful thing for her. Even so, not many people know about Laswell’s wife, only a select few do. It’s a safety measure since she knows people will target her. Although she’s a diplomatic kind of person, if anyone ever were to hurt her wife, then that person can be certain they’ll never walk freely among the sunlight again.

[svtskneecaps]

a list of timestamps, for no reason :)

thesis statement : No, what blue did tonight and what red did the last two nights are not the same.

disclaimer: this is not a judgement of right / wrong, this is a glorified compare and contrast paper.

a TL;DR is available at the top, immediately following the keep reading link (which i hope, for your sake, is still there).

for each vod i have compiled the time stamps first, and then under the heading "notably" have compiled and compared them.

this is the most toxic i will allow myself to be.

TL;DR:

Blue team on Day 4 took 2 seconds from first task claimed to last. Red team on Day 2 took 5 minutes 14 seconds from first task claimed to last, and on Day 3 took 42 seconds.

Blue team on Day 4 was vulnerable in the area for 2 seconds before claiming their last task. Red team on Day 2 was vulnerable in the area for 8 minutes 31 seconds, and on Day 3 was vulnerable for 12 minutes 10 seconds.

The time blue team spent getting situated before logging out in global is not counted in this as being vulnerable because it is not a viable strategy for an entertainer to waste 4 hours of their limited time camping global to ensure no one is logging out.

Red team claimed their first global task on Day 3 with 13 minutes until the server closed. On Day 4, Etoiles and Roier arrived to stop blue team from applying the same strategy with 15 minutes until the server closed.

Blue team's actions on Day 4 did not leave them open to any reasonable retaliation efforts once Tubbo logged out. The moment he logged back in, the tasks were as good as complete. Unless another content creator metagamed, they would not be able to stop him.

Red team's actions on Day 2 and Day 3 did leave them open to retaliation. They were not fast, they often did not have the items they needed crafted in advance and spent time in sight of the global task dome crafting the items. If a team had been waiting for them to try this at the global task dome as Etoiles and Roier did for Blue team, that team could entirely have succeeded in killing them or ruining their plans.

The global tasks on Day 4 were already functionally blue's 4 hours before they were claimed. Even if the disaster hadn't affected global, the way it was supposed to, the only thing left would have been revenge. There was no preventing it once Tubbo logged out.

The global tasks on Day 2 were open to reclamation for an hour after red team claimed them. By Day 3 blue team was aware of red's strategy and had a full 12 minutes (at a predictable time! see below) in which they could have attacked red and stopped them.

What blue and red team did was not the same.

Below are the time stamps I used to get this data and draw these conclusions. I've included links to vods for verification purposes. These links are not future proofed.

November 7th, 2023: Day 4 of Purgatory

TubboLIVE's VOD:

1:47:20 : Tubbo logs out of the server, behind the blue "contracts" NPC. He has 15 minutes 32 seconds of server time remaining.

5:50:23 : It is 3:48:52 am in Tubbo's time zone. Tubbo shows the clock on his screen. There are 11 minutes and 8 seconds until the server closes.

5:50:49 : Tubbo loads in, behind the blue "contracts" NPC. It is 3:49:41 am. This is the first moment the game is visible on his screen. He has 15 minutes 03 seconds of server time remaining.

5:50:50 : Tubbo claims the first of the global tasks.

5:50:51 : Tubbo claims the last of the global tasks. It is 3:49:43 am.

Notably:

Functionally, tubbo was standing behind the blue NPC, invincible, for 4 hours 3 minutes and 3 seconds

There is a 29 second period of server time that I can't account for.

The total time it took for tubbo to claim every global task after loading in is 2 seconds.

The cooldown for every global task before it can be reclaimed is 10 minutes. In this case these ten minutes started at 3:49:42 and 3:49:43 am. The first moment any of these claimed global tasks can be reclaimed is 3:59:42 am, with 18 seconds until the server closes.

Etoiles's VOD:

4:56:08 : With some leniency, this is the first clear view of the blue "contracts" NPC and the spot Tubbo is "standing" shown on Etoiles's stream.

*(the blue NPC comes into view at 4:56:06 but whether Etoiles would have seen Tubbo there is dubious enough that I have opted for a later time stamp)

4:56:12 : Etoiles and Roier enter the global task dome. They are standing directly to the left of the red NPC; on the opposite side as the blue NPC. The spot Tubbo is "standing" is clearly visible on Etoiles's stream. Etoiles has 10 minutes 40 seconds of server time remaining. There are roughly 15 minutes and 30 seconds until the server closes*.

*(Time calculated roughly using Tubbo's log in message; this is not exact)

4:56:17 : Roier is standing in front of the blue "contracts" NPC.

4:58:03 : Without leaving global spawn, Etoiles disconnects to get a buffer on his time limit. Remembering that there is a disaster coming, he immediately re-logs to avoid the combat logging penalty. Roier does not disconnect during this time.

4:58:18 : The first frame of the game is visible after Etoiles relogs. Etoiles has 8 minutes 53 seconds of server time remaining.

4:58:45 : The quicksand disaster starts, affecting global spawn despite admins having informed Etoiles previously that disasters did not affect global spawn.

5:00:08 : The disaster ends.

5:01:17 : Tubbo logs in. There are roughly 10 minutes 11 seconds until the server closes.

Notably:

Roier is standing three blocks away from Tubbo's log-in point (effectively, three blocks away from Tubbo) at 5 minutes before Tubbo logs in.

Were Tubbo logged in, waiting physically at spawn, Etoiles and Roier would have been able to initiate combat 5 minutes and 5 seconds earlier. Both had plenty of time on their server counters to participate in this combat, albeit Etoiles would have been kicked before server close. Roier would not be (source: Slime's vod, 2:45:05 and on. There is no disconnect message for Roier before the server is closed at roughly 2:45:08).

Were Tubbo logged in, waiting physically at spawn when Etoiles and Roier arrived (at roughly 3:44:37 am in Tubbo's time zone, 15 minutes and 23 seconds before the server closed), and had claimed all global missions at that time rather than risk dying in combat, the missions would have been able to be reclaimed at roughly 3:54:37 am, with about 5 minutes and 23 seconds before the server closed. This is 5 minutes and 5 seconds more than the actual time.

November 5th, 2023 : Day 2 of Purgatory

This is the first day red has used this strategy.

Cellbit's VOD:

6:52:27 : Cellbit arrives at the plaza outside the global task dome (Carre is already here; he wasn't streaming so I don't know when he arrived).

6:52:49 : Cellbit enters the global task dome. He backtracks to the right of the global task dome, and sets up a crafting area to craft items for the tasks somewhat out of sight of the dome. He is 96 meters away from the dome.

6:55:34 : Cellbit re-enters the global task dome.

6:55:44 : Cellbit claims the first global task for red team (electrolytes). The cooldown is 10 minutes 41 seconds.

6:55:49 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (radiation medicine).

6:55:55 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (campfires).

6:56:04 : Cellbit leaves the global task dome and sets up a second crafting area to the right of the dome after losing the first. This area is in full view of the dome, and is roughly 61 meters away.

6:57:40 : Cellbit dumps every item in his inventory except for iron and minecarts and a shield into a chest (he is functionally defenseless).

6:58:18 : Cellbit re-enters the global task dome.

6:58:23 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (minecarts).

6:59:12 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (diamonds).

6:59:49 : Cellbit gets his sword out of the chest (he is no longer defenseless).

7:00:58 : Jaiden claims the last global task for red team (rails). The bananas task remains unclaimed.

7:01:01 : ElQuackity is visible outside the dome on Cellbit's stream for the first time. Cellbit chases him.

7:04:34 : Cellbit kills ElQuackity, putting red team in the lead.

7:48:07 : The server closes.

Notably:

Red team is physically present, visible, and murderable / stoppable at the global tasks area for 8 minutes 31 seconds.

Red team takes 5 minutes 14 seconds to claim their global tasks.

The cooldown on these global tasks leaves at minimum 36 minutes 28 seconds to reclaim, maximum 41 minutes 42 seconds to reclaim before server close.

If a team were to have come up to the dome during the 8 minute 31 second period, they would have seen the team and could have attacked or stopped them.

There is a 2 minute 9 second period where Cellbit literally does not have a weapon in his inventory.

If a team were to have come up to the dome while the red team was still crafting the global quest items, they could have attacked and prevented the team from crafting the items and forced them to retreat without claiming those goals.

November 6th, 2023 : Day 3 of Purgatory

This is the second day red has used this strategy.

Cellbit's VOD:

3:39:11 : Cellbit sees Bagi on the bridge to global. There are 24 minutes and 2 seconds until the server closes.

3:39:49 : Cellbit enters the global dome, standing just to the right of where the red NPC is on November 7th.

3:40:24 : Cellbit exits the global dome to craft the water bottles needed for the global task.

3:42:58 : Cellbit crafts the final water bottle needed for the global task.

3:43:28 : Cellbit, Foolish, and Carre re-enter the global dome.

3:44:15 : Cellbit and Carre exit the global dome to inspect Bagi's body. Foolish exits the global dome to use the crafting table.

3:45:36 : Cellbit and Carre re-enter the global dome.

(There's a few more entrances and exits from the dome during the following period, though they stay within the area marked with Bagi's body, the global NPCs, and the crafting table as corners : Never much more than 61 meters away and never out of sight of the dome)

3:49:45 : Cellbit sends the message "hey guys we are about to deliver global tasks you should come!" There are 14 minutes and 18 seconds until the server closes.

3:50:39 : Cellbit claims the first global task for red team (tea leaves). There are 13 minutes and 26 seconds until the server closes.

3:50:59 : Carre claims one global task for red team (gas masks).

3:51:01 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (hot cocoa).

3:51:09 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (water bottles).

3:51:12 : Cellbit claims one global task for red team (backpacks).

3:51:21 : Carre claims the last global task for red team (tea). There are 11 minutes and 52 seconds until the server closes.

4:03:13 : The server closes.

notably:

Red team is physically present, visible, and murderable / stoppable at the global tasks area for 11 minutes and 28 seconds before they turn in any global tasks.

Red team takes 42 seconds to turn in all of their global tasks.

The cooldown on the global tasks leaves at maximum 3 minutes 26 seconds of time to reclaim, and at minimum 1 minute and 52 seconds to reclaim.

If a team were to have come up to the dome during the 11 minute and 28 second period, they would have seen and could have attacked red team.

If a team were to have come up to the dome in the 3 minutes 47 seconds between red team arriving at the global dome and red team crafting all the water bottles for the global task, they would have seen and could have attacked red team.