#beelzebub asking the real question

[devildomwriter]

“Well, it’s sort of a long story, but… One of the largest dragons in existence at the time was summoned against me, and I was nearly burned alive. Among other things.”

“…How did you even make someone angry enough to do that?”

— Solomon and Beelzebub (Chapter 45-4)

[zephyrchama]

Demon brothers who will go out of their comfort zone for you. Lucifer, who stands higher and prouder than anyone, kneeling to tie your shoe. To be on your level. You could have easily tied it yourself, but you didn't even have to ask. He only does these gestures for you.

Mammon, greedy to save up every last grimm he can, giving you money to buy the silly trinket you wanted. Your enjoyment is worth more to him than anything in his wallet.

Leviathan, who'd do anything to hide himself away and disconnect from other people, following you anywhere you want to go. He'll brave crowds, embarrassment, and the worst anxiety to be by your side.

Satan, on a never-ending quest for information and respect, teaching you anything. He'll share his knowledge only for you, telling you everything you want to know and finding the answer to all your questions.

Asmodeus, always perfect and pristine in every way, showing you his vulnerable side. The side no one else knows of. His tears and insecurities are visages reserved only for you.

Beelzebub, gluttonous for immediate satisfaction, holding himself back for your sake. Waiting to eat because he knows you'll be cooking for him. Waiting to savor it. Waiting so he can share with you and make your day just a little brighter.

Belphegor, a sloth with little intrinsic motivation, pushing himself for your sake. Staying up later and later to stay around you. Not just in a dream, but the real you. Doing better in school so that you and your praise can be his reward.

[twilightcitysky]

Everything Is Meant (long S2 analysis, part 1)

I cannot figure out for the life of me how to make gifs so this will have to be a gif-less essay. If anyone more tech savvy than me wants to reblog with relevant media, please do!

I've seen a lot of people saying how Aziraphale's actions in the final ten minutes come out of left field and are OOC, and when I first watched the episode I felt the same, but now I think I couldn't have been more wrong. And I don't think Aziraphale is being controlled... I think the entire season showed us exactly what was going to happen.

On first watch, what struck me was the number of plot points that seemed disconnected. I couldn't figure out how Job related to the present, or the Victorian era, or the Nazi zombies (still at sea on the zombies part tbh). I didn't know where the Maggie/ Nina subplot was going, or why we were bothering with it. Then I put my "psych hat" on and it was like seeing one of those 3D pictures come into focus. It's a psychological networking rather than a plot-driven one, which is what Neil told us to expect.

Detailed analysis under the cut, with spoilers:

I went back through the season in my head and started asking myself: why is this element there? What does it contribute?

1. Start with scene one. Why include it? Does it matter for the climax that Az knew Crowley as an angel? YES. It's actually huge. Angel Crowley was joyful, he was bursting with delight at creation, he was idealistic. He wanted to be a part of everything rather than run away from it, and that's still how Aziraphale feels. He loves being a part of things. He's a joiner. He's a landlord. He dances at clubs and he makes human friends and he learns magic. Crowley the demon doesn't seem to want any of that, and I think that's hard for Az. He wants Crowley to be free of the cynicism he thinks prevents him from enjoying life now. At some level, I think he senses that Crowley is depressed (empathy's not his strong suit but I'm sure he's aware that Crowley's in a "what's the point of it all" kind of mood; see the eccles cakes scene). He wants to fix it. Aziraphale is a fixer. Metatron offers him a chance to do that.

Another thing is that Aziraphale knows Crowley ended up Falling just for asking questions that seemed innocent. That's not okay with him. He thinks that with the two of them in charge they can actually MAKE the changes that Crowley wanted to see way back at the beginning, starting with a suggestion box.

2. Okay, now Jim. Obviously Gabriel/ Jim is the central mystery, but why does he matter? First and foremost: he's there to show Aziraphale that angels can CHANGE. Gabriel terrorized and threatened Aziraphale. Az has been terrified of him. He ordered Aziraphale's execution. And now here he is, drinking hot chocolate, doing noble self-sacrificing things, with morals that suddenly align with Aziraphale's. What an absolute game-changer that must have been! He thought Heaven was unfixable, but here's Gabriel in his shop for weeks, slowly convincing him otherwise.

Then two other things happen. First, they find out that this all happened to Gabriel essentially because he fell in love. He was fired and his memories were stolen and the only reason he recovered was because Beelzebub happened to give him the one thing that could save him. That must have seemed like incredible luck. Now, how does Aziraphale feel about memories? He lives in a bookshop that is stuffed to bursting with the records of all of human history, essentially. His memories of his time with Crowley are incredibly precious. He sees, there at the end, that everything he is can be taken from him as a punishment for falling in love. Aziraphale doesn't have a magic fly container. He'd be forever robbed of Crowley, his life, himself. It's a very real threat in his mind when Metatron intervenes.

Which brings us to the second thing. Metatron saves Gabriel. Not only that, he prevents him from being punished for loving Beelzebub and lets them both go. What better way to win currency with Aziraphale? HE doesn't want to go off to Alpha Centauri, he never has, but suddenly he sees that Metatron might protect his relationship. And he's probably the only entity with the power to do so.

So we come to two conclusions: Aziraphale, when he goes off to talk with Metatron, is feeling like maybe it's not intrinsically bad to be an angel. He believed all the angels sucked, and only God was good... but now he sees that even Gabriel can change. He met Muriel, and he likes them. (He also had a huge crush on angel Crowley, which is neither here nor there but he loves Crowley in all his forms.) So if Crowley became an angel again, would that really be so bad? In his mind, it wouldn't change who Crowley is. It would just make them both safer and allow them to be together. (He's wrong! And Crowley doesn't see it that way! But this is a key miscommunication. Aziraphale doesn't really believe that becoming a demon changed Crowley. Back to the first scene, which Aziraphale references during the Job minisode. In his eyes, Crowley is the same person (just more cynical because of what's happened to him)-- so why would it matter if he's an angel again? I truly don't think he was trying to save Crowley, or saying that Crowley would be Better as an angel. To him, it doesn't matter what Crowley is. Which is reductive and harmful, but not the same as thinking Crowley needs rescuing from himself.)

Second conclusion: he sees that an angel and demon can be in love, but they have to run away to be together. Gabe and Beelz couldn't go home again. Earth is Aziraphale's home, but after the attack on the bookshop he learned that without Heaven's protection he can't really keep them safe there. Metatron says: "Come with me, do this thing, and you can have guaranteed safety AND be with the love of your life". Poor Aziraphale wants this with every fiber of his being. All he's ever wanted was for Crowley to be safe. He's never been able to offer it. Over the past four years, he thought they were safe, but he's just learned that he was wrong.

This is getting long. Continued in Part Two!

[everlastlady]

Sins With Human S/O

✘Posted: 11/8/2023

✘Story Contains: Human gn reader, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Mammon, Fluff, Nsfw, heartbreak, sins just loving their human partner.

✘Word Count: None

✘Author's Note: This has been sitting in the back of my mind for a while so I decided to finally write for y'all. Remember to eat a meal or a snack, drink some water, get some fresh air, take your medicine, and remember that you are loved. If you loved this story remember to comment, click or tap that heart button, reblog with tags, and blaze if you can. Always remember to support your local writers. ♡♡♡

Asmodeus:

You had met Asmodeus when you were trying to make a deal with a demon to get your ex back. You wanted a simple demon but you accidentally summoned the big man himself, Asmodeus, of course he was confused on how you summoned him. Because it’s usually a meeting thing but you summoned him upon command. He would have been mad because he’s a busy man; but when he locked eyes with you. He thought you were a sight for sore eyes so he asked you what you wanted and why you had summoned him. With teary eyes, you told him that you wanted your ex back, you told him how your ex cheated on you with your best friend. The reason he cheated and left you was because of your body, that you were boring, and annoying. Now Asmodeus didn’t know your ex but seeing that you were all teary eyed over some asshole made Asmodeus upset. The lust lord sat on your bed almost breaking it. But he patted a spot next to him. You tilted your head in confusion but sat down with him. Asmodeus took his time hitting you with harsh reality. “ You can’t force someone to be with you. Sometimes people will come into our life and stay while others leave. But it’s good when the bad people leave, and that guy you were dating is a real asshole; honey, you don’t need him at all. Let me be the one to show you what love actually is. Because I think you look beautiful just the way you are. “ Asmodeus offered his hand. You weren’t sure about this but you decided to give Asmodeus a chance - what started as a beautiful friendship and the king of lust showing you about what love really is soon turned into a relationship.

Asmodeus is no stranger or idiot when it comes to humans. So when he started dating you and visiting you. He would of course go up in his human form. The brown skin male with the long red and blue braids will always greet you with a smile. He’s still bigger than you, which you don’t mind. Though he does like going back into his actual form in the comfort of your home. Asmodeus loves your home, it’s cozy and quiet. He sometimes does his work here or reads a book there. He’ll bring you flowers everyday so now you have a little garden in the back of your home and a couple of flowers in your home, that don’t die. Asmodeus is always there to tell you good morning and goodnight. Sadly he can’t take you to Hell but he tells you all about Hell. “ Yeah, babe, it’s not really how movies depict it. “ He laughs at the questions or theories you have on Hell.

His guilt pleasure with you in the human world is when. It’s a cold day and raining, the two of you have the fireplace going and are snuggling on the couch in a large light blue heavy weighted blanket, drinking hot chocolate, and watching romantic comedies. Of course the two of you have the best snacks and foods on the table. Asmodeus loves to have you on his lap whether he’s in his human form or demon form. Moments like this make Asmodeus happy because he loves the rain and spending time with you. “ I gotta give it to you humans, you guys know how to make a good romantic comedy… sometimes. “ Asmodeus would place kisses on your head, neck, and cheek during the movie.

Your ex eventually shows up trying to get back with you. But when the door opened up, Asmodeus was standing there and he recognized your ex, when your ex asked who Asmdodeus was, the lust king grins. “ My name is Toby, I’m {Name}, boyfriend, you must be that shit ass ex they told me about. “ Asmodeus glared at your ex, who stood there looking up as Asmodeus who stood there in his human form. Your ex peeked in to see that you were wearing a long dark blue t-shirt that belonged to Asmodeus. “ {Name}! “ You ex called out for you, trying to get inside your home but Asmodeus blocked his way and pushed him outside. Closing the door behind them both; you stood there drinking from your mug hearing screaming that belonged to your ex. After a couple of minutes Asmodeus walked back inside. “ He shouldn’t bother you anymore. “ Asmodeus placed a kiss on your nose as you chuckled.

He eventually shows you pictures and videos of Hell. “ This is the ring of Hell. I owe the Lust ring, it always rains there. Here is a video of me and my friend Fizzarolli messing with some Imp because they were singing a love song at my place of business “Asmodeus laughed. But you looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “ I know I’m a hypocrite. “ Asmodeus crossed his arms. " But I had to keep a reputation cause Hell. " Asmodeus rolled his eyes. You kissed his cheek to let him know that you understand.

Sex with Asmodeus is fucking amazing. This man is the king of lust so he knows how to make your body scream and cream with pleasure. Sometimes you have to take a time out because you are a trembling mess. Asmodeus will cover you in hickies. But he's gentle with you when it comes to sex; he'll only be rough if you ask. He's also not afraid to test out any kinks yoi have. After sex, you'll receive the best aftercare. A bubble bath, while Asmodeus tells you how good you were during sex. He'll make you a nice snack and get you some water because liquids are very important after sex. He'll change the sheets and then place you in bed. After he cleans himself up, he'll cuddle with you in bed.

Beelzebub:

Your friends invited you to a party. You weren't really a party person but you decided to go because you could use a fun night out. So as your friends were dancing, you walked over to the snack table. The host of the party. Trevor always threw amazing parties because he was rich, so the snack table always had such delightful goodies. So when you saw that there was one last slice of cheesecake you went for it, only for someone else to go for it. You looked up to see a tall woman with long blonde mess hair that had some blue and pink streaks. She was wearing a pink shirt with a tye dye heart on it and some matching shorts. She was tall woman with crazy black eyeliner and beautiful pink eyes. " Oh? Did you want this, you can have it. " She let go of the plate of cheesecake. Her smile could light up a room. She gave you one last smile before grabbing another snack and walking off. You stayed by the snack table eating the cheesecake, after a while the party became too much for you. The music was now blasting, the colorful flashing lights hurt your eyes, and loud chatter was making you feel overwhelmed. You couldn't even find your friends, you began to panic until you felt someone grab your hand and pull you outside, away from the loud party. The night sky looked more peaceful, you looked over to see the woman you met earlier at the snack table. " You okay, small fry? " She asked. While handing you a water bottle. You smiled and nodded not knowing that this moment soon became a friendship and soon a relationship.

Beelzebub is the sweetest girlfriend. Even when she revealed to you that she was the queen bee of Gluttony when showing off her demon form. She expected you to run off screaming, but no you love her even more. You find her lava lamp tummy, really cool. Beelzebub tells you that she only comes to the human world to party with humans, she is the reason such amazing parties happen. But now she always comes up to see you. She always brings you food or snacks when she comes to hell and these are things from Hell. Which you become fascinating with the meals in Hell. Beelzebub understands that you don't really like parties so if you ever want to leave a party early, she understands and will leave with you.

Her guilty pleasure is playing video games with you. So the two of you have a game night. With the best snacks, you two play all times of games. She loves playing fighting games with you like Mortal Kombat or Smash Bros. " Shit, honey, you always win but one day, I'll win. " She teases. She also loves to do tye dye with you, a fun peaceful activity for the two of you.

She doesn't let anyone hit on you at a party or make you feel uncomfortable. Last creep that tried some funny shit got punch into the table by bee. " Don't touch, my damn partner! " Bee would try her best not to shift out of her humanity form because she doesn't want to scare anyone at the party.

Bee shows you pictures and videos from her parties in Hell. She wishes that she could attend these parties but humans aren't allowed in Hell. But she let's you taste some of Beelzebub juice that she made and it taste good. That you have a bottle in your fridge. Good thing none of your friends touch it because you ask them not to do so. Beelzebub juice does nothing to humans but make them have party energy.

Sex with Beelzebub is sweet as honey. She puts the sweetness in her love, you also know it's time for sex when Beelzebub appears behind you with a can of whip cream or sometimes honey. Beelzebub is sucker for licking and sucking things off of you. She's a pro with her tongue and fingers. She loves to be on top, to be dominant. She could be a soft dom or a rough dom, it all depends on what you ask her. Aftercare is always something Bee never forgets. She'll sit in the tub with you and wash you up while talking about what plans you two could have tomorrow. After caring for you both; she will cuddle up with you in bed while watching some tv.

Mammon:

You were having trouble with money, especially after leaving your parents home because you were sick of them controlling your life. The job you took wasn't really grand especially since your boss was horrible and a creep. So you ended up quitting so with bills piling up, you became desperate and decided to try and strike a deal with Mammon the demon of greed. After obtaining a book from a sketchy guy in a van. You went home and set everything up, after lighting the candles and doing the chant. You sat there for a couple of seconds and nothing. With a sigh of defeat you decided to heat up some leftovers; you walk into the kitchen but stopped when you saw a large jester like spider going through your fridge. You cleared your throat, and he turned around. " Oh! Hey there, you know your fridge looks pretty sad mate; probably why you summoned me, which I'm surprised that shit worked. " Mammon slammed the fridge close and walked up to you. When getting a closer look at you, his face felt hot. " You ain't so bad looking for a human. " He said. You weren't sure if you should be offended or not. " Well let's get this deal going, the more time I spend standing here, I loose money. " Mammon picked you up, not knowing this was the start of an interesting relationship.

Now you didn't expect to be dating Mammon and Mammon didn't expect to be dating you. But he didn't mind having you as a partner. You were quite sassy and took no shit from him. You knew all his bullshit and tricks. So he could never pull a fast one over. Mammon does spoil you a lot, to the point you don't really have to work. You always see that Mammon has some how put money into your bank account and that your bills have been paid. No tricks, just him being a sweet boyfriend with a shit eating grin. Anything you want he'll buy it so that you don't have to worry.

Has a human form like the others. The chubby Australian man loves holding your hand when you two are out in public. His black hair that had green streaks. He wore a long sleeve green shirt under neath his black jacket and had black pants. You thought he looked handsome, Mammon knows he's handsome. Cheeky asshole. But he takes you to any shops or food places you want or theme parks. " I should build a Disneyland in Hell. I'll call it Mammon world and charge $500 for a ticket. " He would go on about what it would have. You would playfully roll your eyes and listen to your boyfriend talk about his plans for this theme park and the outrageous prices.

His guilty pleasure with you, is doing absolutely nothing... Yup, Mammon is working man. But when he's with you, he gets a break so he loves to just lay in bed with you and cuddle. He'll rest in his face into the crook of your neck while sleeping. He holds onto you tight, but not to tight because he doesn't want to break you. But he enjoys these moments of naps and cuddles with you. Even if you are awake, he'll still be asleep by you.

No one should piss off Mammon, so when he hears about how your ex boss harassed you out of the store because you went to do some shopping. So that night when you fell asleep, Mammon paid your boss a visit. That morning when you were cooking breakfast for you and Mammon, you turned on the news and saw that your boss was murdered. You knew it was Mammon because he used your bosses blood to paint his symbol on your boss's office wall. You turned around as Mammon was whistling innocently. " .... He's in Hell in my ring, so he'll suffer more. " Mammon said and went back to whistling. You nodded your head went back to cooking not wanting to show Mammon your smirk.

Yes, Mammon is a greedy bastard but he's not greedy when it comes to sex. He loves to give you the best of the best. The highest quality of pleasure - he will use the four arms, because those four arms work wonders. Sorry but he can't control the honking during sex when he's pounding into you, so you'll have to deal with the honk when he's hitting it from the back or front. After sex, he'll give you after care and wash you up. " That was fun, we should do that again but next time on my web, I could tie ya up and maybe a blind fold. " Mammon could go on but eventually stops after you two end up in bed cuddling while Mammon places kisses on your head, telling you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to him and he wouldn't trade you for any amount of money.

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Since my special interest is Pokémon and my favorite activity is to make pokémon teams for my friends, I was wondering how the kings would react to MC making a team for them. This is just that.

The kings reacting to MC making them a pokémon team

Satan doesn't know what a pokémon is, but seeing you excited about the concept makes him happy. He would make you explain why you chose each of them and be flattered by the amount of detail put on display. After you tell him all about it, he ruffles your head and calls you a nerd (affectionatly).

Mammon would order a portrait of him with the pokémon you chose for him. It would become a national treasure since you, his master, blessed him with this team of magical creatures. Would 100% buy merch of the team and put them in his room. Would get into Pokémon so he'd be able to make you a pokémon team as well.

Leviathan would glare at you and ask if you made a pokémon team for anyone else. He calls it childish, but looks up the pokémon you mentioned in his free time. He has a file where he compiles all the information he has about these pokémon you're so fond of. Secretly appriciates the effort, but he'd die before he told you so.

Beelzebub is the only one that has a tangential knowledge of pokémon. I headcanon that Beelzebub knows the weirdest things about the human world. Like, he has no idea what a pikachu is, but he has a keychain of Octillery. He'd also call you a nerd for making him a team, but he finds it cute. He'd rate the team on how likely he would be to eat them. You'll have to remind him that he's not supposed to eat his pets and also pokémon aren't real. Not that he really cares.

Lucifer would just stare at you silently. You were scared you gave him brain damage, but he eventually hugs you (your face pressed to his tits). He thanks you and in the gentlest voice asks you to explain. He's glad that you like him enough to do this for him and he'd show his affection by caressing your hair while you talk. He's a big softie inside, and you get to see all of it.

Bonus (My favourite dragon boy)

Gamigin would be exantric that you did something like this for him. When he finds out about the dragon type in pokémon, he constantly bombards you with questions about it. He's the most likely to get into pokémon just because he finds the concept fascinating. Cuddling and watching pokémon movies become his favorite dates with you.

[demonioenelespacio]

I really love how s2 of Good Omens is written, because you have so many clues about what is going to happen at the end, the offer, the motivations behind the choices of all the characters… You have everything on the plate to cook an amazing recipe.

You start the season with them as angels and end it with an offer to be both angels again (just like s1 started and ended with a Garden). You get a brief glimpse of The angel who became Crowley, we get to see how they were so passionate about their work, you can see their joy. I mean, look at them

Can you really blame Aziraphale for thinking that the offer is amazing? When that could mean that Crowley is this happy again.

But… The spark that our demon is missing is innocence, and that’s something Crowley can’t get back, ever (unless they delete his memory??).

Crowley is bitter and angry and anxious, but we know he can experience that joy from Before, because we can see that when he is making it rain for Maggie and Nina. We saw a real smile.

Aziraphale didn’t.

But the offer is not because he wants to change Crowley, because he knows who Crowley is now and loves him as he is. And because he knows that Crowley is still the same caring and kind being he was Before.

“I know you”

“You do not know me”

“I know the angel you were”

“The angel you knew is not me”

Yeah, it’s true, but that scene is to show Azira that he is still kind, he didn't kill the sheep, he is not going to kill the children. So, yes, Crowley isn’t that Angel, but the core is the same in the end.

There is also the fact that… Do you think Aziraphale ever thinks about how he planted the seeds of Crowley's Fall?

This is the face of an angel who is going to end the career of another angel WITHOUT REALISING IT.

That Angel didn’t know about Earth, about humans, about the Great Plan, they were busy making stars. If Aziraphale had never told them that, would Crowley have thought of asking questions?

First offence and all of that… How unfair. How could Aziraphale make it right again?

The “Exactly” scene is so important. They are so stupid (affectionary).

They mean the same thing (We can be together) but saying different things; a phrase (Nothing lasts forever) meaning different things for each of them. They don’t talk, they don’t really speak each other's language.

Also, the final scene is more painful, but we have the same argument in ep1:

“Oh, right, this is how you wanna do it?”

“No, I would love you to help me! I’m asking you to help me take care of (Heaven). But if you won’t, you won’t”

*Crowley leaves*

How can they have broken up so many times without ever being together (screams).

In ep1 we also have the two little mini half-miracles. And I have read some people take that as how powerful Crowley is, but come on. This Big Miracle is clearly because they are working together, the two of them together are more powerful than anything else. And boy, that rang an alarm in my head when I first watched the season, because… Crowley said in s1 that they will be waiting for the next Big Thing, this war "Heaven and Hell vs. Humanity". You want the best in your team, right?

Because if they are not… they can be against you.

So, yeah, I saw Metatron and was like “ok, here we go��. And look, his offer is to Aziraphale, because he is an angel, but Metatron doesn’t blink an eye before mentioning Crowley too. He wants both. But whatever, if Crowley doesn’t want to go to Heaven, if Heaven only gets Azirphale, well, success either way! Because if you separate the two of them, they are no longer a threat .

Also the fly, flying around very very noisy. You have Beelzebub saying they want Gabriel surrendered to them and acting a bit weird. All the clues there (I must confess I didn't expect the ship to be canon, I just thought they might be talking more lol. A nice win).

All this just thinking about episode 1.

The last thing I want to touch is Maggie and Nina talking to Crowley before the confession. Because… They told us what was going to happen.

They can’t be together, because Nina has to get over her previous toxic relationship before she is ready, and then, only then, they can try, if Maggie waits (she will wait).

Aziraphale has to get over his toxic relationship with Heaven before he is ready, and then, only then, they can try, if Crowley waits (he will wait).

[azirafuck]

GOS2 Spoilers Masterpost (ONLY EP. 1-2)

alright, you read the title, you know what's under here - gonna tag everyone who helped this if I know them, thanks to everyone for their contribution and for being agents of chaos the way satan intended. love you all

[Last update/edit: 24/07 - 14:10CET]

first of all, we got some amazing posts from @incorrectquoteswwdits mostly about the first scene in heaven with crowley as an angel:

angel!crowley creating stars and aziraphale thinking he's calling him beautiful

more on that

aziraphale's lies make the lesbians have problems, apparently

communist aziraphale be like OUR CAR

isolation and doubts

THEN we have a detailed recount of the first episode by a kind anon! again, thank you @incorrectquoteswwdits for sharing <3

@goodomens-hints posted a lenghty and detailed recount of the first episode as well with some little hits at future episodes (nothing too big on the post itself, but BE CAREFUL, the blog is actually posting some other spoilers from episodes past the second one!)

@goodomensjail gave us a detailed recount of the first scene, with angel!crowley starting to question stuff and eventually shielding aziraphale with his wing

@mikubinders gives us SOME GOOD GOURMET SHIT by telling us that:

"Beelzebub kidnaps and threatens Crowley, tells him that ze could put a price on his head but ze doesn't want to. After that Crowley comes back to the bookshop and Good-old-fashioned lover boy plays while he drives there. "I'm back" happens. Aziraphale makes Crowley do a silly little apology dance so he forgives him and so they work together"

after thinking this last spoiler was fake, an anon came through and confirmed its real! we also have new context! (sent by an anon to yours tuly)

anon came through with some details about the Everyday record, told us Queen is actually tied to CROWLEY and not to the Bentley, and gave us more context to the OUR CAR and OUR BOOKSHOP bit (sent by an anon to yours tuly)

as for what happens during the Job flashback, after which the sitting five feet apart on a rock in front of the sea happens, a bunch of different versions of what actually happens are going around. @thesherrinfordfacility kept up with the madness surrounding it, so im gonna post here the last two versions of events/details.

first one:

In the Job section, Aziraphale is questioning gods decision of punishing Job. Then u see him in heaven w Muriel here and they are looking thru a long scroll that has instructions from god and he's trying to make sense of it. Muriel is telling him that god and satan made a bet about what Job would do and that's why they are testing him. And az is like whatttt why would god do that that's mean!

When Az finds out they're going to kill Jobs kids, he goes down to Earth to save them while using his angel voice until he realizes he's speaking to Crowley. He sees Crowley about to enter the kids room and tells Crowley "I know you, you wouldn't do this" and Crowley tells him he doesn't know him really. (

AND TY TENNANT IS SASSY AND FLIRTS W AZ??!??!? (*) And THATS when crowley goes "well he seems nice" from the clip. He wasn't jealous tho, like he thought it was funny since they are literally there to supposedly kill these kids and one of them is flirting lol.

The moment of 'weird-beard Crowley' was actually more focused on azi and him questioning God. Crowley tempts Azi w food and u see him struggle but then he gobbled it down and he cries bc he thinks crowley is going to bring him to hell (that's the scene where they are sitting on that thing with the pretty horizon) Crowley tells him "you're just an angel who follows gods as will as much as he can" and Az says that sounds lonely, and Crowley agrees, which is a callback to when he asked Crowley if he was lonely being on what Crowley calls "his own side", and Crowley said no. Crowley then tells him "i'm a demon. I lied"

(*): it was told this isn't actually canon canon, it's up for interpretation - some reported Ty's character is just the classic bratty teenager UPDATE: NOPE anon cleared it up and apparently it DOES read as flirty because ty's character is a little bitch, love that for us

and then we have the second one:

"Episode 2 is half present day things [...], and half the Job story/flashback. Crowley is the demon sent by Satan to torment "God's favorite human" Job to see if Job will curse God, in one big bet between God and Satan. Aziraphale comes to try to stop him, discovers they recognize each other but haven't seen each other since "the flood" and that Crowley seems to have changed since the flood, because he is willing to sacrifice the goats, and ruin Job's house. Crowley says he "has a permit" to torment Job FROM GOD. Aziraphale brings this up to the archangels that gleefully explain that yes it's a bet with Satan and that Job will suffer, but he will get everything back 3-fold by the end. And he will get NEW children. This disturbs Aziraphale, he does not want the CURRENT children to die, he understands the familial love that the archangels do not. He goes to stop Crowley not with power since he has the permit but to reason with him. Aziraphale says things to the effect "I KNOW you don't want to harm them I KNOW you and you don't want to kill children" and Crowley is defiant, but then…. It is revealed that he never killed any of the goats either, he transformed them into pigeons to hide them. And he is hiding the children away in the basement but destroying the house to make it look like they died. He transforms the three kids into lizards to hide them, then when the Archangels descend to give Job his rewards and tell him his wife will bear 7 new children, Job and his wife are in despair because they love their children. Crowley comes in pretending to be a human doctor and he and Aziraphale LIE to the angels faces about how babies are made and trick the angels into thinking Jobs three original children are NEWLY BORN children. Which fools Gabriel, who has only ever seen God make Eve fully grown from Adam's ribs. Crowley then meets Aziraphale at the rock. Aziraphale is crying and says "im ready for you to take me to hell" because he has LIED to angels and foiled God's plans. Crowley is gentle and comforts him that he is still an angel and "I won't tell anyone if you won't" and they reminisce that it's lonely being a different kind of demon and a different kind of angel that sort of do what they feel is right. Heavily implying that they are the same and have each other now. The end of episode 2.

that's what's going around for now, but ill add stuff if we find anything new - also feel free to add to this yourself or send me stuff!

[neil-gaiman]

Hello Neil Gaiman! Since I adore your work and read your books with interest, I would like to ask a couple of questions that torment my brain regarding the book "Good Omens". Not a series, but a book, I think this will not be a huge spoiler, but just funny and interesting facts. Sorry in advance, there were more questions than I initially expected) 1) What do Hell and Heaven look like in the book? We've seen the posh portrayal of Hell and Heaven in the show, but the book implies they're more stereotypical. Hell - caves, lava, fire, creepy horned creatures around, Paradise - a blooming garden or a beach resort with white angels. Is it so? There were only a couple of hints about the heat in Hell in the book, it would be interesting to know if this is actually the case. 2) What do Hastur and Ligur look like in the book? Are they in human form or real creepy devils? As a designer and animator, this question torments me the most, sorry) We saw that Beelzebub is described as a red-skinned horned monster, but what do the two dukes of the Underworld look like?3) Hastur is more concerned with this issue, is he from the very beginning a bunch of larvae or a demonic creature with larvae inside? Or is he one of them in the truest sense of the word?4) Does the Dark Council of Hell include such high demons as Mammon, Asmodeus, Belphegor, Leviathan, Lilith?5) Stana and Lucifer are different demons or not?6) Are the tortures and executions in the circles of Hell the same as Dante's or are they somehow different?7) Hastur threatens Crowley in a rather interesting way: "You're going to get taken to the bloody cleaners, pal". There are some kind of blood cleaners in Hell and it is better not to mess with them?8) Do all demons have a true form from a crowd of larvae? It's just that not only Hastur loves this image, but also Crowley, which, it seems to me, is not particularly to his taste. So these are their demonic forms?9) Why in the book Hell and Paradise pretend that everything is in order, and do not try to blame someone for the failure of Armageddon? This is the best scene in the series!Sorry in advance, there are too many questions, but of course you can only answer the most favorite and important questions, and yes, thank you very much! 

Generally the best thing about books is that they leave questions unanswered, and the best thing about fanfiction and headcanons is you get to answer those questions to your own satisfaction.

[blithesharem]

Obey Me Thanksgiving Roles

Lucifer: Wine drunk by 11am hides it ALMOST impeccably.

Mammon: Helping in the kitchen because he wants to follow you around but keeps getting distracted by the Fangol game in the living room

Leviathan: Playing games in an armchair he will only leave twice over the next 6 hours

Satan: Sharing everything he knows about the REAL first thanksgiving and the brutal treatment of natives by the first North American colonizers.

Asmodeus: 4 outfit changes. Orchestrating beautiful table settings. The SECOND the table is he cleared he puts on the Christmas playlist Mariah Carey FIRST

Beelzebub: Was kicked out of the kitchen so he goes on a Turkey Run and then watches Fangol but is equally invested in the parade when Luke finally begs to put it on.

Belphegor: Food coma before the meal even begins. Food coma during the meal. Food coma after the meal. Just…move his legs aside it’s fine.

Diavolo: So fucking giddy. Splits his time between “helping” (getting in the way) in the kitchen, watching TV with Beel and Luke (and Mammon), and muttering things in Lucifer’s ear trying to get him to crack and laugh to prove how drunk he is.

Barbatos: Your loyal sous chef in the kitchen. Brought three different kinds of appetizers to sate everyone’s appetites.

Simeon: He and Luke took care of the desserts. He’s enjoying watching the tv and asking many questions, fascinated by all the strange human customs.

Solomon: Is designated bartender as a way to lure him away from the kitchen. Actually does a pretty decent job except for Belphie who wasn’t listening when Solomon offered “a surprise”.

Luke: Stars in his eyes. Absolutely aggressively committed to the whimsy. Threw his heart and sole into baking and then teared up when the singing float came on tv.

[noneorother]

The secret timeline inside of Good Omens season 2 revealed, *part2*

Part 1 l Part 2

The ineffable cut is explained in part 1. Please read that first. (I’ve burnt a timecode into this ineffable edit to help pick up the rhythm.)

So now that I've shown you XX:X6 is the number of the beast in the last installment, what else can we glean? Well, it turns out angel numbers (sequences of repeated numbers ex: 22:22 or 20:02) are quite important events in the S2 universe! I've cut together every "Angel Number" I could find in the timeline and put them in order. I first noticed this near the end of the ineffable cut, where Beelzebub and Gabriel hold hands, so I've started with that one just to give you an idea how bonkers this whole sequence is. Don't forget, sound on! Breakdown below the cut.

So we start off with this Beez and Gabriel sequence near the end of the cut. They start singing to each other a little out of time, but lo and behold, at 02:03:20 the music comes in right on time with the seconds ticking by to line them up. By the time they reach 03:33 they're gone.

Aziraphale is excited to get his "record"! He's doing something sneaky, and as a result opens the door to go off to said covert activity on 00:02:22.

Crowley asks "Do they know?" on 03:33. Who are they and why does he want to know? This whole scene is on a St-James park bench so spying and double speak is in progress, clearly.

Crowley then asks "Something big?" on 00:04:44. We get the hint for the main action of the entire second season here. Something's up with the up...

Now the real fun begins! I'll come back to the ones I just skipped in a later post because they're more subtle. Here's the first "real" angel number at 11:11. Aziraphale discovers THE box and touches it for the first time.

At 22:22 Nina and Maggie's signs are "mysteriously" ignored by a human passerby.

This is wild. Aziraphale is learning about the Everyday record and something funny happens. 33:31 Aziraphale says, " Do you have a copy?" 33:32 Maggie says, "Mm, too many of them" and at the same time a car horn beeps twice. 33:33 Aziraphale is startled by the fact that a double car horn happened on a XX:X2 and looks out the window in concern. So the question is: does Aziraphale feel or know the rhythm of the timestamps?? And are things that line up with numbers a signal he's paying attention to?

A funny one! At 44:44 Aziraphale seems to be wanting to check if Gabriel is really who he says he is, and is watching him like a hawk. Gabriel does all he can to do nothing at all and look innocent while the angel number passes by.

Another funny one. Nice. 55:55 reveals that the Bentley likes Aziraphale more than Crowley, and does whatever he wants, including not speeding when he puts his foot down.

This next one's a little peculiar. It seems like an exchange about Gabriel's whereabouts, but it's the halfway point of the edit (1:11:10-11:11:11) of the ineffable timeline and we seem to be having two conversations at once. Shax says on 11:11 "He hates you." Does she mean that she thinks Crowley hates Aziraphale, or... that Gabriel hates Aziraphale. Aziraphale looks noticeably shocked at her reply. After the eyebrow raise of "You don't seem like his type at all" I would bet we're not talking about Crowley anymore. How did she get this information?

01:22:22 Gabriel does a little laugh to himself while signalling with the lamp. What the fuck? Does someone know morse code?

01:33:33 Maggie extends her had to Nina at the ball, to invite her to dance. Nina looks pleased, but doesn't move until... a very odd miracle sound on a XX:X6 happens and she jumps up to take Maggie's hand. That miracle sound is not Aziraphale's, and besides, he would never miracle on a 6. Who's the demon making Nina dance...

Aziraphale's halo toss is the flip from ACT II to ACT III of season 2, and as such, get's a special time right before rolling over to the second hour. He decides to throw it down on exactly 01:54:45, and at 01:54:54 gets a giant tubular bell ring in the music to highlight the action. It lands on the ground at 01:55:01, and incinerates the demons at precisely 01:55:10.

01:59:59 Beez and Gabriel hold hands, and a magical chime sounds at 2:00:00. Maggie start her sentence "Aww, that's really sweet" at the same time, and manages to finish it on 2:00:02. (Dagon politely waits to pretend to barf on a XX:X3 after she's done.)

The last one is a big one : 02:02:02 gets "to face CELESTIAL punishment" by Michael. This is what we've been waiting for the entire season, the Checkov's gun of the book of life. But, where is it? We then get an odd cowboy showdown style stare-off between Michael and Shax. I'm predicting that missing chunk of time in the bookshop before we come back to Michael threatening Aziraphale with the book of life is going to be a pretty interesting reveal in season 3. -------------------------------------------

People, this is the short version of this post. There are SO MANY things to unpack. Next up is doubled numbers. If you want an ides of what it takes to break things down, here's my workflow timeline right now. The stuff after the first big space is numbers I haven't shown you yet... This show is insane.

[akutasoda]

Hello! Can I request Lucifer with a lower rank demon s/o? So he has to hide them from his brothers but one day while Lucifer and his s/o were in his room making out the brothers bust into Lucifer’s room and accidentally interrupt them? How would they react?

secrets i have held in my heart

synopsis - maybe some secrets can't be hidden forever

includes - mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor ft lucifer x reader

warnings - gn!reader, reader is a low ranking demon, suggestive, fluff?, slight angst, kissing, caught making out, wc - 1.2k

a/n: hello! anon i absolutely adored this idea!! i may of gotten carried away...

lucifer was never one to imagine himself with a partner. this mainly stemmed for predominantly his brother always teasing on how he most likely couldn't find someone which led him into foolishly believing them.he always thought he would still be happy like that but then he met you.

did he ever imagine the person he eould deeply love to be a lower ranking demon? no. did he ever think it would bothe him? no not really. but it slightly did, not because of you but his own natural pride. his own pride refused to let others know about his relationships and not just because he was secretive and preferred to keep his private life secret.

and you were no fool to not realise the real reason in how you two always kept the relationship silent. it had hurt you in honesty and that had led to the conversation in how no one was forcing him to be with you and if he truly was that embarrassed he could just leave. which then lead to him explaining.

it didn't soothe your concerns but it somehow helped you realise he truuly did love you but he was just in general inexperienced in love and his natural role as the avatar of pride got in the way unknowingly to him.

and he knew from now on he would have to truly step up his game to show you just how much you actually meant to him. and this by far was the most you two had ever done together.

normally because of lucifers secretiveness you two normally just hung round your place and you had no clue what his excuse was for his brothers, but sometimes on quieter days round the devildom lucifer would actually take your hand in his. and sometimes his classic romantic side would take over his pride.

but when he approached you after a day at RAD and asked if you wanted to come round to his instead you were quite shocked honestly. but that didn't stop you saying yes. and you cared little for if his brothers saw you to be honest. but you had also never anticipated him to be quite as bold.

not as bold as he was after a few glasses of demonus. you two had moved from the couch in his room to the foot of is bed as he finished what he swore was his last glass and before you had the chance to even question him, he placed the glasses on the floor and encased your lips in a kiss.

you quickly reciprocated and kissed him back with the same enthusiasm. due to the his overindulgence in demonus, it quickly became sloppy and desperate on his end and depending on your situation, wether you had a glass ir two, you would've maybe had to take control. but despite how unfocused it was it was fuelled with love and longing.

you both pulled away for air but lucifer seemed unsatisfactory and immediately tried to go back in for another kiss but as soon as his lips reconnected against yours, the door to his study swung open as you both started up and stared wide eye at the intruder.

lucifer ★↷

he stared and his brother who for starters, barged in his room but mainly for ruining one of the first times he decided to try and take your relationship further. and as soon as he got him out his face exploded into a red hue, more so than the demonus had done to him. he quickly returned to you and apologized profusely about the ignorance of his brother but quickly came up with an idea. he would have to explain in the morning anyway so what would be the harm in you staying the night?

mammon ★↷

in proper mammon fashion, he had seeked out his older brother's presence as he may or may not of owed a younger brother some money. it took him a minute to process the scene in front, but when he did his face exploded into red as he immediately ran out. he would rather face the brother he owned money than know about his older brothers love life. even if the curiosity sometimes ate away at him, he still wouldn't actually question it but a small part of him would be happy that his older brother that he looked up to had finally found someone.

leviathan ★↷

levi had probably sought out his eldest brother in turn for asking a question and became suspicious when they door was unlocked after his knocking was ignored. but despite him never wanting to go in without permission, his question needed an answer and so he opened the door. his face exploded into every shade of red known to the devildom. he apologized profusely as he shut the door and buried his face in his hands. maybe his question wasn't that important.

satan ★↷

satan most likely would've entered his eldest brothers room so abruptly because he got reminded of something that severly annoyed him earlier, something to do with lucifer. but the minute the scene registered in his head, he didn't know what to do. it took lucifer scolding him to then finally leaving. and while his initial reaction was to then use it as blackmail material he knew if that was his relationship he wouldn't want that in the slightest. maybe you could just explain to him why you chose someone like lucifer.

asmodeus ★↷

mammon had probably either sold something of his or really annoyed him and thus asmo needed his eldest to knock sense into him. he was very shocked at the scene but very quickly got over it because as the avatar of lust he became weirdly entrigued. lucifer had to force him out but day after day asmo would tease him and ask constantly how the two of you were and why he hadn't informed his dear brothers.

beelzebub ★↷

beel had most likely gone into his eldest brothers room to ask about dinner as they may or may not of run out of cooking supplies or food supplies in general. it also would take him a couple of minutes and lucifer forcing him out the room for him to process what he walked in on. and when he realised he felt immensely guilty and next time he saw you or lucifer he would apologize for interrupting your time together.

belphegor ★↷

belphie may have abruptly entered his eldest brothers room as maybe one of satan's rage's destroyed part of the attic and thus he couldn't nap there anymore. but once he saw the state of you two he just left and closed the door immediately. he didn't know how to process but he did also initially think of using it as a one up against lucifer but then he also thought that his brothers love life was personal and doing so would be very low of him.

[goodomens-hints]

Episode 1 plot summary (+complete list of scenes) and more details about later episodes

SPOILER WARNING SPOILER GOOD OMEN SPOILERS BELOW i'll leave my inbox open in case anyone has specific questions about season 2 eps

Scene 1: star creation scene Crowley needs help building constellations so he calls out at a shooting star-shape that turns out to be Aziraphale, who materializes in front of him. He asks Aziraphale to hold up an open scroll with schematics for the galaxies. When Aziraphale does so, Crowley pokes the center of the scroll with his hand crank device and twists it, so that nebulae shoot out. Yes there is a scene where Crowley says "look at that, gorgeous" and Aziraphale gets flustered. They watch in awe until Aziraphale tells Crowley "you do know after 6,000 years it'll be gone right? I read about it in the Great Plan". Crowley gets upset and protests, questioning the almighty, how there should be a suggestion box where they can put suggestions, and Aziraphale advises him not to say such things. Crowley says it's not like asking questions gets you into trouble. They watch the galaxies bloom and Crowley veils Aziraphale with his wing as shooting stars fall toward them, similar to the Garden of Eden scene but in reverse. Scene 2 aziraphale goes to record shop Aziraphale gets a note in the bookshop that says there's a matter of great "ugrency" (misspelled). He visits Maggie in the record shop and she's crying because she can't pay rent, so she's prepared to move. Aziraphale says if she gives him the records he requested, that'll be equivalent to the rent she owes. Maggie asks how he can forgive her and he says "I'm all about forgiveness, actually" and leaves.

Scene 3: crowley talks to shax this is the one posted on youtube, though it's a lengthened scene that includes the beginning where a spy tries to talk to crowley on the bench and he redirects him to the guy feeding ducks. those are the guys crowley is yelling at later. there is also a part where shax implies that crowley owes her specific information? it's very vague but it's probably why she's giving him updates on hell. yup, crowley does say he hasn't seen aziraphale in a while but it's clearly a lie lol Scene 4: michael mentions book of life

in heaven, michael is arguing with someone on the phone about the book of life, i thought at first it was beelzebub on the other end but it's probably uriel

Scene 5: gabriel appears on earth maggie visits nina who remembers her coffee order (skinny latte). then they're distracted by the commotion outside wherein gabriel shows up naked carrying a box. aziraphale is listening to the records but gabriel knocks on the door of his bookshop. there's a huge crowd outside and the moment aziraphale opens the door, gabriel says "I know you! :D" and hugs him in front of everyone while still naked LOL. aziraphale gets really embarrassed and brings gabriel inside. the rest of the scene is the one on youtube where gabriel explains he doesn't remember who he is. Scene 6: muriel finds matchbox short scene where muriel finds the matchbox with Job's passage on the floor of Heaven. you can see a bit of this in the trailer

Scene 7: crowley throws mail and meets shax again Crowley is in a random street throwing the mail shax gave him into a garbage can. Suddenly shax calls and crowley picks up, snapping at her that she shouldn't call and appear suddenly at the same time. shax appears behind him and says "why not?" this is the pic where both shax and crowley are on the phone -- theyre actually talking to each other lmao. shax tells crowley there are rumors of gabriel being missing and crowley is happy. she leaves. Scene 8:

aziraphale is talking to gabriel and we get the whole trailer scene ("you know that feeling where...") but in the real ep aziraphale's reaction is SO ANIMATED, with him standing up and saying "No! definitely not! I have no idea!" LMAO it's so funny, he's so in denial. We hear FLIES when it cuts to gabriel btw so maybe beelzebub is spying? HOW SUSPICIOUS. At one point Gabriel says "I love you" out of nowhere to Aziraphale and Aziraphale says "I..." and Gabriel smiles, looking like he's expecting an i love you back but Aziraphale just says "hmm". People were laughing so hard at this.

Aziraphale calls crowley and asks to meet at the coffee shop. Crowley informs him that gabriel is missing.

Scene 9: short scene where michael and uriel argue because michael said now with gabriel gone, someone has to be in charge...

Scene 10: Maggie brings Nina a record but Nina doesn't have a record player. Nina reveals she has a partner (Lindsay) and Maggie gets disappointed and leaves. She bumps into Crowley and Aziraphale on the way out and tells Aziraphale "you're an angel" lmao.

Scene 11: Crowley is PISSED PISSED PISSED the whole time, in fact the whole ep he looks like he's about to explode. We get the coffee shop scene HOWEVER right before that Crowley asks Aziraphale "what's wrong?" and Aziraphale says "why do you think something's wrong?" all nervously and Crowley says "you only ever call for 3 reasons: one, you're bored, two, you accomplished something and want to brag about it, and three, something's wrong. And you're using your 'something's wrong' voice." YUP THIS IS THE NEW 'i know what you smell like!'. we then get the naked man convo and crowley realizes immediately that aziraphale is stressed and says "is it something i can help with?" and aziraphale nods and THEY IMMEDIATELY GET UP and go to the bookshop with a plate of eccle cakes lmao. once crowley sees gabriel he and aziraphale start fighting. crowley gets mad at aziraphale and tells him he didn't command gabriel to answer properly. He yells at gabriel "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE BOOKSHOP?!" and uses his hypnotism but gabriel just says "I'm dusting" and does the passive-aggressive feather duster motion. we get the "carved out for ourselves" convo .aziraphale says "fine, i would love for you to help, but if you won't, then feel free to leave". crowley says "i'm not helping" and storms off. he goes out into the street and says to himself "dont do anything rash... wait 10 seconds before doing anything..." but he's already emmitting smoke. We get a funny convo between nina and maggie who are watching crowley from the coffee shop. Nina's all "the man who drank six expressos! He's smoking!" and maggie says "well of course, he needs to calms down!" and nina says "no i mean actually smoking!" Crowley does the lightning thing (maggie thinks he was actually struck by lightning) and it ends up locking Maggie and Nina in the shop and killing their phones. Scene 12:

seroquel and muriel show michael and uriel the matchbox. It has "The Resurrectionist" on it. They are baffled that something material has made its way into heaven. We get the "Gabriel, I think he's gone to earth" line.

Scene 13:

Crowley's in his car and flies start buzzing. beelzebub appears in his car and teleports them both to hell using flies. This is the pic in the poster where beelz and crowley are sitting on chairs side by side. crowley is disgusted and spits some flies out lmao. beelzebub says he can come back and work for hell (and even get a promotion) if he finds gabriel, and that according to heaven, anyone involved in hiding gabriel will be erased from the book of life. crowley is teleported back to his car and begins panicking. Scene 14: nina and maggie bond while locked in the coffee shop. maggie doesn't drink wine and didn't party, nina opens up some wine and drinks it out of a teacup. she says her girlfriend makes her text if she's late by 10 minutes and that she must be freaking out right now. they see someone walking outside and try to ask her to help free them but she doesn't notice them.

Scene 15:

Crowley is mad in his car, speeding, doing the usual etc. Good Old-fashioned lover boy is playing!!!! Scene 16: Crowley arrives and Nina and Maggie catch his attention. They signal for help and he just goes "oh" and snaps his fingers, unlocking the coffee shop and bringing back the electricity. He walks off lmao. Nina and Maggie are weirded out, Nina groans because her phone is bombarded with texts from Lindsay asking where she is. Crowley enters and we get the "I'm back" scene. Aziraphale says he has to do the apology dance and Crowley is all "no way" at first but Aziraphale says "I had to do it in 1861, 1942..." and Crowley says fine and dances.

IT'S REALLY HILARIOUS. HE ENDS IT WITH A BALLERINA BOW LIKE THIS LMAO

So we get the "we need to hide him" convo and they decide to each use half a miracle so that their miracles wont be detected by heaven/hell. crowley will hide gabriel from heaven and aziraphale will hide gabriel from hell. they do the hand-holding thing (like in the pic). theyre not sure if it worked but crowley tests it by standing on a chair and poking at the space above gabriel LOL and there's a hint of a shield so he says it worked, and that he's sure heaven or hell didn't detect a thing. Gabriel is all "now i have two friends :D" and crowley says "We are not friends >:(" Scene 17: an alarm is blaring in heaven because CLEARLY they noticed the half miracle ahahahaha. michael, uriel and seraquel go to the globe and see purple smoke streaming out of the UK. they 'zoom in' and realize it's coming from aziraphale's bookshop.... (interesting that michael refers to aziraphale as a 'former angel' here)

End episode Soon I will summarize ep 2! Some hints for future eps too: -There's a big rain scene -There's an epic scene in the bookshop that took several weeks to film! (youve seen some hints in the trailer) -There are at least 3 jokes about aziraphale and crowley having sex that are scattered throughout the season LOL one of them is nina noticing crowley grumpy and saying "you look like mr. fell didn't let you top last night" and crowley's reaction is amazing. I'll say no more (for now)

[yanderemommabean]

Momma imagine yandere obey me brothers x darling mc as a horror game like outlast

Instead of outlast, darling mc tries to find information on how to break the pacts with brothers or somehow keep them away from them while running away and hiding

Imagine how aggressive Satan and Beelzebub would be and what would happen after mc is caught

((I havent slept much so this is kinda iffy but!!! I hope you enjoy nonetheless! ))

“I’m trying my damndest not to be angry with you, I really am. I mean, after all, you didn’t ask to be here, you were brought here out of the blue no question” Satan says as he clenches his teeth, eyes like a viper as he stares you down and makes you petrified, keeping you cowering down as he stalks forward, tail flicking angrily as he comes into his demonic form. “I thought we had something. I bared you my soul, my withered bones, my broken heart, and you…You lied to me. Told me you’d always be here for me, only to go run to that scum and beg for freedom from our pact!” he spits venomously, the growls he was emitting rumbling the walls around you, the foundation barely holding together as the air around you became sour, too hard to breathe. 

Satan was a being of wrath, the very embodiment of it, and you, you foolish human, thought you could just sever his tie to you with no consequence? Humans have no self preservation it seems. “I don’t see how you’d want to separate us! What we have! I mean haven’t I given you everything? Haven’t my brothers given you hospitality, safety, love and support? Sure, things were rocky but I thought we moved past that!”. His voice was still so eerily quiet, you were waiting for it to erupt into a violent outburst with your own intestines slung over the rafter. Something about him being this quiet made you realize this would be even worse than if he just had a freak out. You swallowed, standing straighter as you thought very carefully about the words forming on your lips. There was no way to really baby him and pacify his emotions like this, he was beyond pissed, so much that you could feel it thrumming under your own skin as your lungs felt squeezed and your throat felt stuck. “There was no way for me to head home unless I cut all ties” Something breaks, shatters, the windows surrounding the library just fall to shards as the beast gnashes his teeth at you, eyes fiery and all consuming as he wraps his tail around you, squeezing you tighter than the tension had earlier. “Abandoning us? After we did so much for you? After we bonded closer than any stupid human could have in their lifetime?!” he snarls again, crushing you as he held you tighter in his grip, a punishing hold. “And here I thought Mammon was the greedy and selfish one. I’m beginning to think humans are the real selfish idiots of all three realms”. You aren’t getting away from him. Never. This mistake was your own, you made this bed, bloody and messy, and you’re going to lie in it. He didn’t change his being, bare himself open, have you look deep into his soul and form a pact with you for you to just suddenly decide you were bored and leave! You truly must have no heart! He’ll teach you how to behave. He’ll make sure you learn this lesson over and over again, that you’ll bare your own scars soon so you remember that your actions leave marks on everyone, and can’t be so easily erased.

You’ll learn that you’re his. That when he says he loves you, you aren’t ever escaping him or his brothers. -Mommabean

[freestyle-crocodile-trashpile]

Hello! I was wondering if you could do a part two of Face down. Like the aftermath of this or where M!MC does something similar to the other brothers (like they are being annoying and end up on the ground suddenly?). Sorry if this is confusing im not used to sending asks

[A/n: Your find, don't worry about it 😊. Thank you for requesting]

Summary: Part 2 to "face down"

Type:Scenario:Brothers + dateables X M!MC

Version:NightBringer

~

The Satan incident was definitely unexpected, but it proved Diavolos' point. You were the perfect attendant, strong, brave, kind, won't take no one's shit, etc. You could handle the brothers, but the real question is, how? You handle them like you've known them? It confused Diavolo, especially since he gets this familiar feeling around you. But besides that, the Brothers seem to enjoy your company.... Besides Satan, of course. He needs some time to cool down, especially after you bodied him. Lucifer was also cautious around you, but still enjoyed your company. After all, you didn't slam Lucifer to the ground. Diavolo was quite entertained by your way of doing things, especially since Satan wasn't the only one who got bodied. Leviathan was the next. He just couldn't hold his jealousy in. He got so angry about you getting a game that he wanted before him. He got so mad that he went to cocytus hall himself, well kinda. Mammon and Lucifer was with him.

"YOU!"

You turned to see a pissed off Levi, along with a confused Mammon and Lucifer. You smiled at them, giving a small wave.

"Mm? Is something wrong?"

You said once you realized Levi was pissed. He didn't say anything just stormed up to you until he was inches away from your face. You raised your eyebrow confused. Then, you remembered the day of the TSL competition. That's when your face changed from confusion to serious. You knew if he tried to attack, he'd have the advantage. He would be ready, and you would be caught off guard. He's waiting. Like a true snake. For the perfect moment to strike, just one second, and you're done for, he's close enough to kill you. You'd have to do it first. So, as soon as you see his hand twitch, you quickly grab his shirt, bending down and putting your hand through his legs to grab the back of his shirt, you then lift him and throw him over your shoulder, in one quick motion, Levi's on the ground. Stunned, he stared at the ceiling as you leaned over him.

"Don't even try Leviathan."

You said his name with a venomous tone, giving him the chills. He gulped and nodded, not knowing how he knew his intention. Smiling, you walk away, leaving him on the floor. Mammon helped his younger brother up as Lucifer watched you walk away. The moment stuck with Levi for a day or so. Then it went away. He forgot about it, his kind being more occupied with his games and anime... until you did it again. You were in the living room with Asmo and Levi. You weren't paying attention to what Asmo was saying, more focused on the TV in front of you. Beelzebub had been pissed off that day. Someone ate his custard. You, Levi, and Asmo were the only ones in the house besides Beel. He was looking for his brothers, or just anyone in the house. When he walked in the living room, he practically growled.

"Who. Ate. My. Custard."

You three looked towards him, and no one said anything. You didn't eat it, but neither did Asmo and Levi. You made eye contact with Beel and shrugged. He only narrowed his eyes at you. You stared back at him, neither of you looking away. You knew what he was thinking, so you narrowed your eyes back at him.

"You got the wrong guy, Beelzebub."

He huffed and walked towards you. Leaning down over the couch to be face to face with you. Beel was in his demon form, well... technically, he never got out of it. He had a glare on his face, clearly not believing you. He had many reasons. One, you didn't live there, so you probably didn't know the rules. Two.... he didn't have another reason. You glared back at him.

"Prove it"

You gave a nasty look. How would you prove it? You can't, you didn't eat it.

"How?"

He didn't give an answer. He just glared at you, and you returned the look. He growled again as he stood up, grabbing the collar of your shirt. He picked you up off the couch. Pulling at your shirt, to hopefully get it out of his grip, you did eventually get put off his grip. But you getting out of his grip didn't stop him. He tried to grab you again... but he was fast, way faster than you. As soon as he grabbed your shirt, you grabbed his arm. Gripping it as hard as possible until he winced and let go, then while he was distracted you kicked his shin, then using that moment to grab his shirt, putting all your strength into lifting him, you let go of his arm and grabbed his belt for more help. Somehow, you completely lifted Beel off the ground and above your head. You stayed like for a second, surprised you just lifted him up. But as soon as that second of surprise was up, he was thrown over the couch onto the coffee table. The coffee table broke on impact, Levi jumped, almost throwing his Nintendo, Asml sat their completely baffled. You didn't notice the others who walked in. Lucifer stood there shocked, Mammon shivered, Satan's eyes widened since he ate the custard, and Belpie, he had rushed to Beel. You let out a sigh and chuckled. As you looked over. Lucifer had given you a nod of approval as the others still stood shocked.

~

[A/n: Is this good? I hope you enjoyed]

[solomiracle]

can u do a reader who secretly has a nerdy side, and could talk about their favorite thing (animal, anime, series, book, game, etc) for hours?

awawawa!!! i've never really done a request like this before, so it might not be the best >m< but without further ado >:D

The Brothers With a Reader Who Has a Secret Nerdy Side

— — ☆ — —

LUCIFER will be surprised upon learning about this side of you. Most of the time, he won't actively encourage you to talk about your interest, and will only listen to you talk about it for a little while. But sometimes, when he calls you to his study or room to relax and have a bit of demonus, he'll ask about something related to your interest so he can listen to you ramble. He finds your voice more beautiful than any of his cursed records, after all.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are theatre, alcohol, and factories.

-☆-

MAMMON will be surprised, maybe even a little confused when he learns this. Depending on your interest, he'll either not care, ask you a bunch of questions, or try to somehow make it related to his new money making scheme. Regardless of his reaction, he'll spend the next few days "sneakily" inquiring more info about your interest (aka pestering you about it), and then buying something related to it; say a plushie of your favorite character or book on the subject. And of course, he'll be tsundere as ever when presenting it to you.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are vehicles, jewelry, and mansions.

-☆-

LEVIATHAN will be ecstatic when he finds out! A fellow nerd!!! Even if your interests aren't otaku related (but let's be real, he'll definitely be able to connect them to otaku culture in some way), he'll happily listen to you ramble. If you want, he'll even be willing to buy any merch of your interests if there's some on Akuzon! He'll probably stutter and blush when suggesting this, though.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are anything otaku related (mainly magical girls), video games, and the ocean.

-☆-

SATAN will be intrigued. If he already has knowledge of your interest, it'll end up with you two going back and forth, discussing your favorite details, maybe even learning new facts about it together. If he doesn't have the knowledge, he'll listen to you talk, taking in all the things he finds interesting and looking them up later. Maybe he doesn't care for your interest, but he wants to be well informed and understand the things you like.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are magic, human history, and book series.

-☆-

ASMODEUS... wouldn't really care that much lol. But he's always thrilled to learn more about you, and would love to listen to you talk about your interest. If it's something that can be made into a cute pin or a patch, like an animal or logo from your favorite series, he would love to sew it onto one of your bags or jackets for you. Make sure to thank him properly for it!

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are fashion, horoscopes, and rituals.

-☆-

BEELZEBUB will be fascinated upon learning this. He gets to see a whole new side to you, one that can get you talking for hours? Cool! He'll ask you a question about your interest to get the ball rolling (maybe even unintentionally), then sit down and listen to everything you have to say, even if it means having to wait a bit to eat. But he can hardly ever think about his stomach when he's too busy focusing on you.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are human culture (food and history), sports, and health.

-☆-

BELPHIE... wouldn't really care that much as well. In fact, he might even tease you about it (aka calling you a nerd), and will most likely nod off in the first few of your ramblings. But he makes sure to stay awake after realizing how important your interest to you is; not to mention, he gets to see your happy face for hours, a sight better than any of his dreams could come up with.

Bonus: Topics that'll really grab his attention are human culture (fairs, circuses, etc), astronomy, and magic.

[majoliish]

Bitey reader!!

Bringing my writing on this blog into existence with a little series carried over from my main.

Basically, it’s the characters reacting to being bitten by a reader who bites/chews/gnaws/whatever as a sign of affection (can be read as platonic or romantic). 

Gender neutral reader (referred to as ‘you’) x the main cast (separately)

Lucifer - He does not take being bitten very well. His immediate response is to bop you on the head and scold you as if you’re a misbehaving dog. He’s had his fair share of his brothers attempting to bite or prod at him in some way or other and learned long ago that it’s better to put a firm stop to it right away and not let up. Though, if you happen to be close with him, he’ll eventually catch on to your reasoning, and he may just turn a blind eye to you chewing on his clothing or accessories when the two of you are alone.

Mammon - Puts up a huge fuss at first, grumbling and groaning and yelping dramatically, even if you didn’t bite him that hard. He’ll cradle whatever part of him you decided to nip at and give you the most pathetic, betrayed look that he can manage. He’ll pout and pull away whenever you approach him after that, putting up this whole charade as if he hated it, but really he’ll stand close to you and pretend not to notice as you approach, it’s like he’s trying to bait you into biting him once again. 

Leviathan - Is initially super confused and embarrassed. Loudly announces to anyone and everyone around you both that he’s currently being bitten and isn’t sure what to do or how to react. But for some reason, he won’t just directly pull away. He kind of lightly scolds you, as if to keep up appearances, but you may find that he keeps glancing shyly over at you every now and then after you stop, or placing himself subtly between you and anyone else you may be prone to chewing on.

Satan - Not at all impressed (at first, anyways). He draws back sharply and scolds you harshly, asking a slew of questions as to why you would ever even consider doing such a thing, what you’re hoping to gain from it, why you’re attacking him, of all demons. He acts kind of aloof and snooty about it, making a careful point to move away from you if he’s worried you might start biting him once again. Though, if he manages to get to the bottom of the mystery and figure out you’re doing it out of affection, he may just allow you to have a little nibble.

Asmodeus - He absolutely takes it as some kind of flirting and plays right along, purring at you all coyly, batting his eyelashes and twirling his hair. Though if you bite down too hard, or for too long, he immediately begins to scold you for ‘daring to mar his gorgeous skin with unsightly bite marks’. However, he has no qualms about biting you back if the opportunity arises, sinking his teeth in and marking you up.

Beelzebub - No real tangible reaction overall. His brain just kind of goes ‘ah yes, this is what we’re doing now.’ and he’ll bite you back with little to no hesitation. This is well within his purview and it actually kind of delights him that you’re speaking his language. Not many of his brothers are really open to his more nontraditional displays of affection so he’s pretty excited that he has someone who shares some of his quirks. Be careful though, if he’s snacky, he may end up biting you back quite a bit harder than intended. 

Belphegor - He just sort of … accepts it. Having Beelzebub as a brother means he’s been used as what is essentially a living chew toy for long enough to be entirely desensitised to it. He’ll have an initial moment of confusion when he realises it’s you and not Beel who is biting him, but he just lets out a defeated sort of sigh and ruffles your hair while just letting you do what you like (so long as you don’t bite too hard). 

Diavolo - Finds it super amusing, chalks it up to some strange human tradition and laughs it off. He thinks it’s really cute and endearing, and though he may find it a little odd, it’s not entirely unheard of for lower-ranked demons to communicate through biting and scratching, so why wouldn’t humans? He may tentatively ask if it’s polite in human culture for the party receiving the bite to bite back, because the behaviours of other species are something he takes a keen interest in.

Barbatos - A little bit confused at first, and will take some time to try and puzzle out the reasons behind why you may be doing such a thing. His initial conclusion is that you must be hungry, and suddenly he’s offering you food. He’s learned enough over the years to know that perhaps this isn’t quite a common behaviour exhibited by humans, but he’s too polite to actively discourage it.

Luke - Gets super offended at first, flinches away and gives you the biggest watery-eyed betrayed look. He’ll inform you (quite loudly) that that hurt and he doesn’t appreciate being bitten even one bit! Though he has his own share of non-traditional ways of showing his affection, he struggles to understand when others do too. He’ll cross his arms and kind of hunch in on himself when you approach if your attempts to bite him become a recurring interaction between you both.

Simeon - He’s just… politely confused, for the most part. He may ask a few questions or gently shake you off, but he won’t outright stop you. He finds it kind of amusing, and it’s the kind of quirk he finds a little bit fascinating. He kind of asks around, trying to figure out the answers as to why you’re biting him, so soon it becomes a pretty well known fact that you seem to just like biting others for some unknown reason.

Solomon - It doesn’t really throw him off in any major way - he’s met a lot of different entities, from all walks of life. So long as you’re not some kind of vampire, werewolf, or other creature whose bites might affect him negatively over the long term, he’ll just let you do whatever you like. He catches on to it being affectionate very quickly, and sort of grins smugly to himself about the fact that you seem to like him enough to display it as openly as this.

Please don't repost, steal, copy or otherwise plagiarise my writing! I do not consent for my works to be translated and posted elsewhere, or used to teach bots!