No thoughts head empty, just Kaeya gently running a hand through your hair as you both lie down on the couch with a warm blanket sharing stories and drinks. Body relaxed, mind at ease.
His thumb rubs at your arm lovingly with a tiny smile as you recount something funny that happened a few days ago. He loves seeing you smile, loves to hear your laugh and excited rambling.
He kisses your forehead and chuckles at the blush that blooms on your cheeks, but you just feel so happy, so warm.
This is nice...
hhhhhhhh crys!! you always put the prettiest, loveliest images in my mind of my faves.
just...spending quality time alone w kaeya like this, enjoying a couple of cocktails at home together while exchanging stories and laughs. mindlessly twirling a strand of his long, blue hair around your fingers as you recount and bemoan the sheer lack of competence you have to deal with at work some days. and he reminds you in his pleasant, melodic voice,
"just remember, my love...stupidity is job security,"
sending you into another fit of chuckles because he's so right?? then you shake your head while telling him how entertained you are by his way with words sometimes. and it makes him smile back at you bc hearing you say the things you like about him warms his once-icy heart. he secretly hopes that you never get tired of him and his cheeky antics, not knowing that his playfulness is one of the things that made you fall in love with him in the first place.
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When I see Pav's design I see a guy who really does not care about his rank or appearances (other than the boots rant towards Levi, but I personally like to think that's him showing some amount of concern towards a younger soldier, or to annoy him like the other character exclusive interactions in an attempt to distance himself from your party). Pav's shirt and coat are unbottoned down to the point where they don't even look like they fit him, his chest and and his bullet scars are exposed, he has unkempt hair, and seemingly has a very casual/sloppy posture which implies a lack of respect for the army he's supposedly been indoctrinated in. This contrasts with the image of how most soldiers are expected to be disciplined - to be orderly, clean cut, and tidy, especially higher ranking ones when displaying rank/status. Overall, Pav comes off as messy and possibly not even in his right mind from the beginning. When considering his true purpose for being in Prehevil is to kill the Kaiser, He's practically on a suicide mission.
And this can be further backed up by his attitude towards failing to kill the Kaiser, being saved, and taken to the train. What was the point of joining the same army that killed your village, rising up the ranks through whatever horrible means you had to go through and very possibly willing to do onto others what was done to you in order to get close enough to the man that you deam responsible for everything that has gone wrong in the world, only to find out that he was a indestructible monster beyond your powers? After that, it's either start from square one again, wait to die, or live your life on the run from everyone. Pav had kept a facade for possibly most of his life up until that moment, but as soon as he's cut down the mask breaks apart and he breaks down in train mad at you for giving him a few more moments of life.
To summarize, I'm intrigued by Pav's portrait because it gives us that hint on what kind for person he really is underneath the Bremen "disguise". He can't wait tear the damn thing off himself.
Is he a Bremen pig? Probably not. Is he still a pig? Yes. Or... rather something more feral hiding in the styes that he's trapped himself in, waiting to start a rampage in until he's put down himself. (Hmm. I wonder if that's would actually be a good Moonscorched idea?)
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"Gaze into the space between the pixels on the screen
There, you’ll see a place between the signal and the screams
Feel the oscillation of the crystal in your dreams
Just switch off your brain and let it sizzle in the beams"
-----
It took a matter of months to finish this drawing. (/j, it only took. 2 weeks? I think? maybe a little less,but that's an approximate)
It's been a while since I made a digital drawing. So far between April and now I have focused more on traditional drawings with digital coloring. These are (mostly) cool to do,but it's nice to go back to full digital every now and then.
This is one of the cases where the original idea and the final result don't differ that much from each other,but there was still a certain evolution from when I conceived the drawing and how I ended up doing it. The Main Thing of the original idea is still here,I just expanded it a little.
Also,the lyrics at the beginning are from "Tune Into The Madness" by The Stupendium and Dan Bull. Great song,and one that I was listening to a lot at the time I was reading the book (and much earlier too). Because,you know. Mix of horror and TV. It made sense. (And yes,I know this song is about a totally different game,and the TV context in both stories are very different (as far as I remember, it's been a while since I played LN2) but I thought the lyrics could match the drawing anyway + it's my chance to recommend peak, so yeah)
Listen to the song, it's very good! (The video do contains flashing images and lights tho,so viewer discretions is adviced)
Also,alt. versions without the text,because I thought that without the text it looks good too (+ you can now see Bendy's face)
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It sucks to lose the funny Desmond fuck panel, but this is probably actually the scene I'm most sad to censor. I purposefully never had rex say fuck for 3 whole seasons until this panel and I feel like changing it to "hell" really takes away that impact.
As a writer, I do think "fuck" can be a really strong and impactful word when used sparingly. I think about Bojack Horseman (my favorite show of all time) a lot, and how each season pretty much had 1-2 f-bombs at the most impactful moments. Like you knew Bojack was really fucked when you actually heard "fuck"
The first scene it's used in is when Herb tells him to the fuck out after refusing to forgive him. The first time I watched that it just made that scene all the more heavy. I acknowledge I use "fuck" far more sparingly than that show, but i tried to take that approach w/ Rex at least. He had a few bleeped out !@#$ moments, but I literally saved his first "fuck" until this exact moment. It was very much planned and intentional. I wanted it to have the same impact as those Bojack Horseman f-bombs. It just feels kind of watered down to me now.
TLDR: "Fuck" is usually used for silly stuff, but in some contexts, I seriously did put a lot of thought behind it and it's sad that my intention has to be erased to meet guidelines. Some scenes like the one above just aren't gonna hit the same IMO
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For the ask:
Hyrule+ your choice + Racoon in a bow tie
(And I got my blood test back and it was normal. More testing needed but at least that's okay.)
"Hey, Rulie, mind giving me a hand?" Wild called from off the hiking trail.
Hyrule slid down the embankment a little, wandering further into the woods where his friend was sitting. It looked rather like he was wrestling with something with the way his torso turned, and--
Was that a raccoon he was holding?!
"What... are you doing?" he asked as he stared at his friend struggle to hold the creature. The raccoon, for its part, wasn't too upset, but it certainly seemed perturbed enough to wiggle.
"I convinced him over with some food," Wild explained. "Because I always thought it would be great to get a picture of a raccoon wearing a bowtie. Twi said it was ridiculous and impossible. Do you mind taking a picture?"
Honestly, the first question that came to mind was why did you even think of this but it was pretty funny. And Wild was bribing the raccoon with more snacks, calming it. Hyrule shut off the part of his mind that was over analyzing and saying injuries/rabies/wild animal and laughed, grabbing his phone to take a picture.
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Cannibals, Pirates, and PhDs: How Did I Get Here?
I mentioned in some tags earlier that I’ve only actually been a real fan of Pink Floyd for under a year, and that the confluence of events that led up to it is pretty absurd. Some interest seemed to be taken in this, so I though I’d elaborate.
I didn’t know how to shorten this timeline and have it make any sense, so it’s... long. But idk, I think it’s pretty funny. If you’re nosy like I am this is for you.
My Backstory Timeline:
early childhood: my parents essentially mainline me and my little sister with The Beatles. I know almost no songs written past the 70’s until at least sixth grade. I develop a childhood crush on Paul McCartney, a joke that the universe really decides to play the long game on.
2014: my dad calls me over one night, and gravely tells me he’s been waiting to share something until I’m old enough. I brace myself to be told about sex or secret half-siblings. Instead, he tells me I need to listen to The Wall. Irritated at the idea of wasting an hour and half of my night, I nevertheless comply and go up to my room and put it on. I do not come back from this, clearly having inherited some sort of generational curse.
Around the same time, I am also secretly watching Hannibal every time my parents send me upstairs because Game of Thrones is “too gory”. This will trigger three important things: an interest in psychology, a love of horror media, and a classical music phase will train my attention span to last well past the three minute mark.
2014-2023: Over the intervening years, I become a casual fan of Pink Floyd, but make a deliberate point not to learn anything about the band. I like being able to imagine my own meanings for the songs. Also, I am motivated against this by a childhood memory of being deeply frightening by a picture of old Paul McCartney (LOL). I do not want that to ever happen again, so no learning.
Cut to April of 2023: I am finishing up my first year of my PhD program studying media psychology. I am in a bad place mentally, and am going through another horror movie phase to fill the hole. As a result, I get very into American Psycho. The main character, Patrick Bateman, is a fan of superficial 80’s pop music, particularly Genesis. I decide to start listening to Genesis to see if I agree with his tastes. While researching “best Genesis albums”, I come across The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway. I listen to it, and am blown away. I had no idea that the Phil Collins band made music like that. This sends me down the prog-rock rabbit hole. I still won't learn any lore.
Summer of 2023: MEANWHILE, I am also going through another pirate phase. I have a fairly encyclopedic knowledge of 18th century piracy (and am still quite active in the Black Sails fan community). Around this time, I get really obsessed with this one random guy named Dennis McCarthy who was hanged in 1718.
I decide to work poor Dennis into a science fiction story I’ve been working on. The premise is essentially that the universe is an abandoned simulation, and a ‘glitch in the matrix’ starts to, among other things, bring people from the wrong time periods back to life.
The format of the story is vaguely monster-of-the-week, in which the characters have to solve various problems caused by mistakes in the code. I think, “hey, you know what would be perfect for this? that fanfic I wrote about The Wall in high school.” Said fic (which that stupid fucking beatles movie stole from me) is about a world in which Pink Floyd never existed, but a wannabe rock-star discovers a box full of their records and decides to copy them. While he is touring his plagiarized version of The Wall, he realizes that the events of the album are starting to happen to him in real life. By working this concept into my new story, I go through another one of my periodical The Wall phases. It's in full swing when fall rolls around.
September of 2023: This semester, I take a grad-level narrative theory class in the English department. I decide it would be helpful to follow along with a specific example, so I choose The Wall. Using the terminology I am learning in the class, I start to realize that The Wall is…. incredibly narratologically fucked up. To help orient me, I watch the bootleg concert recordings, and the trick with the surrogate band sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore.
This is where the two plot-lines converge. I don’t remember which came first, but around this same time, I think to myself “hey, if Genesis was hiding such an incredible album under the 80’s pop, what must Pink Floyd be hiding?” On that whim, I put on Piper at the Gates of Dawn, which equally sends me so out of my mind that I decide I must break my rule about never learning band lore. I needed to know what the fuck happened to get them from Piper to The Wall.
September-November: In the two months between the onset of this and finally making another sideblog, I dedicate all of my free time to learning as much about Pink Floyd as humanely possible (and writing a 20 page essay for that narrative theory class). As you can imagine, this is a lot to unpack all at once for someone who didn’t even know who Roger or Syd or any of the rest of them were. Luckily, I am over-educated enough to be a very fast learner. Aside from the band lore itself, I of course also fall in love with the rest of Pink Floyd's discography musically-speaking. Having this interest to latch onto genuinely pulls me out of my depression.
Cut to February 2024: I am really enjoying myself, and want to keep this going as long as possible, but I am starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel on Pink Floyd lore. I decide I need to feed the fire by supplementing with lore from another band. The Beatles seem to have a strong fan presence on tumblr, why not revisit a childhood favorite? The universe laughs at my expense.
That about brings us up to date. I have gone through so much character development over the last eight months, it’s crazy. Pink Floyd is definitely one of those things that is less of a “phase” and more of a permanent part of my mindscape. Weirdly enough, since I am studying media psychology, all of this has also been really good for my career? I never took an interest in -real- media figures (as opposed to fictional characters) before, and I feel like I have a much clearer sense of things now. It's definitely influenced my research, so whatever domino effect this has on my future is bound to get even funnier.
Anyway, that’s my backstory!
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