#something something perception of self
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maybe one day you'll float up,
past those who ask you to care,
and it'll hurt a little less.
but when you hover like a symbol,
and people face you as a spectacle,
you'll want to go past their windows.
so you'll become a myth,
and you'll be whispered about in time,
yet the whispers are like wind.
and as they gently push you into another frame,
you'll begin to float higher,
trying to escape the molding hands.
and maybe one day you'll float up,
past all who will ever perceive you,
and fully float away.
#poetry#prose poetry#short poem#something something perception of self#writing#creative writing#tp#text#lapslock
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day 6 || this era lasted like 2 minutes but i love it anyway
#daily gi-hun#art post#redhead gi-hun my beloved#i know i barely ever draw him w/ red hair its not on purpose i swear#god this era of gi-hun in general is just so. hes exquisite to me okay#all eras of gi-hun are exquisite jsyk but while we r on the topic of this one#ppl kinda misunderstand this gi-hun lots i think. it was esp bad in 2021 i remember when he turned around before getting on the plane#hes not healed. like. At All.#if im being honest i dont even think this couldve been the START of a healing journey for him#other people have pointed this out before but like. what was he gonna do in america#that guilt would still follow him there. the trauma and ptsd would still be a huge part of his life#and its not like there are readily available resources for dealing with the trauma of going thru a death game#yeah he'd get to be with his daughter but ga-yeong is very perceptive and i think she'd notice the changes within her dads personality#which could even put a different kind of strain on their relationship thats different from the kind that existed before#gi-hun could only rlly distract himself for so long. i feel like even if he did go to america it'd just be a matter of time before he >#> couldnt take it anymore and went back to stop the games OR. something.. Worse.#its just not the kind of person gi-hun is. to forget like people want him to. thats just not him im sorry#there was never a world where he got on that plane and left it behind for good#anyway whatever i dont think we should shame a guy for trying to stop mass murder#yea we can debate all day about the effects his self isolation had on other people but i will NOT back down on him being right for TRYING#(side note: you can acknowledge gi-huns isolation had negative effects on other people [ie his daughter] WITHOUT VICTIM BLAMING HIM)#squid game#seong gihun#seong gi hun#squid game fanart#my art#doodle
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this fucking gutted me, and i was still reeling as bad as andrew is in this scene trying to process what ashley just did to him. how nemlei can capture this kind of visceral emotion just in still images and simple dialogue is insane.
#the coffin of andy and leyley#andrew graves#ashley graves#gravecest#this is the only part that made me genuinely nauseous#do i want to replay it so i can catch more detail that i was unable to process the first time around?#yes absolutely. also no. my brain objects like it resists self-inflicted mutilation#i’m confused as to why people view andrew calling her an ‘it’ here as somehow foul on his part#all i saw was him looking at her and feeling like he does not recognize her#that isn’t his sister; something else#what she just did to him can’t be integrated into his perception of her because the ashley he knows would never do that to him#however; she just did
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But not green.
You know the song Mr. Jones? Yeah.
#Something something self perception#they love the image of the hero#But he doesn’t feel like a hero#With all the death he feels he’s caused#Can he be loved? Is he even worthy of it?#he feels trapped and disconnected and stuck and he doesn’t feel REAL#Amsjdjjsjsjsjsjjaajaj#Ferally running around my brain help#the line from the song#we all want something beautiful… man I wish I was beautiful#is another I wanted to add to the comic bc it also fits warriors.. maybe I’ll draw it sometime idk#Lu warriors#linked universe#Linked universe warriors#warriors linked universe#linkeduniverse#hryule warriors#Hyrule warriors link#bc this could be taken that way too#THANK MARGIN FOR THIS HER HYRULE WARRIORS LINK FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGED MY PERCEPTION OF THIS GUY#my art#linked universe fanart#Comic#A rare sighting of MY HANDS XD#Bc I used them as a reference lol#Also I know I’ve been posting art every day for like the last 2 weeks or smth#I have no patience#when I finish something I want to show the world XDDD#Tw blood#cw blood
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hermie the unworthy should have been on game changer actually. the latest episode would do unfathomable things to his psyche
#game changer#dndads#surprisingly the joker thing would be the least impactful part of it#acting out sincerity vs letting your inner self being perceived in a consistent enough way?#having to figure out what about yourself can be kept and what can be shown without doubt?#he would perish i think#and of course the joker performance#also having to figure out what it means to be sincere in a role he literally remolded himself to fit?#what others see as true when it's never lined up with oyur own perception. and how to balance that with something so dear#it;s not so much being joker as what it represents. like the stage of life he was in and how much the act became the person#even quite literally with willscam#oh my god i need to shut up
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bloodletting
summary: a budding god needs a place to test their new powers, and childe was always a little too eager to lose a fight... a match made in heaven!
word count: 1.7k
-> warnings : minor AQ spoilers ? just like, general gi plot.. fairly graphic depiction of blood + other injuries (might be classed as body horror???). generally obsessive tendencies (childe <--> you). i cannot stress this enough, reader is 110% a sadist.
-> gn reader (you/yours)
taglist: @samarill || @thenyxsky || @valeriele3 || @shizunxie || @boba-is-a-soup || @yuus3n || @esthelily || @turningfrogsgay || @cupandtea24 || @genshin-impacts-me || @chaoticfivesworld || @raaawwwr || @ryuryuryuyurboat || @undrxtxd || @rainswept || @wanderersqt || @rozz-eokkk
< masterlist >
power was not something that came easy. it was fought over, stolen, defended with teeth and claw, tides of blood shed just so one could have power over another. social, physical, financial; no matter the leverage it provided, power was hard won. to give someone power was to admit defeat, a certain death that tartaglia had learned and taught more than his fair share of times. nobody undeserving of power ever held onto it for long; it was an acknowledgement that you were better, that you deserved it, that you’d won. power was a fickle resource that childe would kill to keep, only ever laying down his blade for a precious few.
the tsaritsa, of course. his fellow harbingers, skilled both on and off-field, who themselves could rival the archons. his family, for whom he’d happily give the world.
and naturally, who would be more worthy to hold power than you?
you, not just a god but the, the highest authority across all of teyvat. you bore a hundred names and a thousand monikers, your worship the one thing the world could agree on. granted, nobody could quite agree on how, but that was fine. childe did not need external powers to tell him what to do. he knew, in his deepest heart, that he had gotten it right.
he knew—and, on occasion, flaunted—that he was your favorite. of all the vessels you had chosen, you returned to him time and time again, wishing on his stars until his vision gleamed. his bow shone with power, even his weakest weapon more than enough to push his strength to new heights. part of him wondered what he could do if you’d granted him swords, or a claymore… but that was speculation for another time. didn’t it say something that you had still chosen him at his weakest?
the thought always made him smile. thick in the heat of puppeteered battle, before the sun to after dark, your presence was a constant in his life. at every altar, with every offering, when his hands stung from the rash of leather and his blade was covered in rust, your name a prayer behind blood-soaked teeth. he could not remember a time when his pocket was not weighted with a charm.
his devotion was no secret. he wore your bow with pride, entirely phasing out his other weapons. it didn’t matter that he was technically more controlled with them, for you had chosen this path for him. your word was his guide, a polar star through bitter nights.
he did not doubt when your presence ebbed or flowed. who was he to dictate when or where you spent your attention? no, his faith did not waver. it had no reason to. he waited patiently, going about his regular duties, lingering in snezhnaya for no other reason that he just felt like he had to.
who was he to question to buzzing in the back of his head? who was he to decline when he felt an instinct to leave, to go for a trip far past the city gates? who was he to think himself better than the guiding light that had never led him astray?
for you, he was whatever you needed. and so he went, armed with a thick coat and snowboots, hands shoved deep in the pockets to hide the slight shake. down the main road, an arbitrary turn into an alley and down an abandoned path, into a part of the city he’d never traveled. but a golden thread had tied itself around his heart, pulling without hesitation. he easily hopped over the fence gate, not bothering with hauling it open through the snow. the path beyond was covered in a thick layer of powder, his foot crunching through a foot of it before hitting solid ground. still, he continued.
snezhnayan winters were not warm. they bit and dug into every gap in your clothes, stealing away the precious warmth within. and yet, with his half-done coat and incomplete guard, he was not cold. or, rather, he couldn’t feel it. his hands were pink with frost, stiff at the knuckles, but he couldn’t feel the resistance. his body was not important, not now.
the snow began to thin. it fell from his knees to his shins to his ankles to his toes, until he was face to face with a thick wall of bramble, impossibly overgrown. he was beginning to overheat in his jacket. twin blades made quick work of the wall, and the sight behind it easily dispelled any breath left in his lungs.
the air that washed out of the bubble was thick and heavy, like a humid spring instead of snezhnayan woods. his breath came in short gasps, a shameful wheeze that he hoped was missed beneath the howling snow. he didn’t want you to see him as weak, as someone so easily tired by a short trip to a falling star; he didn’t want you to think of him as anything other than his best.
but you didn’t push him away. you helped him up—his head was buzzing with delusion, he could hardly see, when had he fallen to his knees?—and brushed the snow off his hair, not pushing him away when he leaned into your touch. he couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, could barely collect himself enough to recognize that he needed to get you inside, away from the wilds.
that was power. to so effortlessly take over every thought in his head, to hold his mind in your hands and pull it into your liking, that was the power he adored you for. gods were figureheads of power, a physical incarnation of their dominion. a god of the entire world would only naturally have power to manipulate that world to their liking. how blessed was he, that he could be the first you made yours.
he was with you when you first stepped into zapolyarny palace, looking around at the chandeliers and fine tile. he opened the door for you to her majesty’s throne room, sucking in a sharp breath as you brushed by. he was by your side when the tsaritsa swore you her fealty, delicately placing the gnoses in your hands.
and oh, how he’d fallen to the floor right then and there, dizzy from the wash of power that rolled off you in waves, an ocean that he willingly dove into. the floor was cool beneath his forehead, his hair sticking to his skin as sweat quickly began to bead. he didn’t bother pushing himself up on his hands, teeth sinking deep into his lip again to control his panting breath. copper bloomed over his tongue, filling his mouth and clogging what remained of his senses.
dimly, he was aware that he was being pathetic, that this would surely change your mind about him. he heard your voice, faint through the fog of his mind, your wisdom lost to his own inadequacy. and yet, despite his weakness, every part of him was tuned into you. he knew it was your hand whispering across his shoulders, he knew it was your influence that stole the breath from his lungs. he knew it was you, because it was always you. you were all he could think of, and now you were finally able to leverage your full power over his self.
he’d woken up in a hospital bed. saline dripped into his arm and the lights pierced his eyes, his head full of snow and iced over. and yet, the moment he was cleared for release, he found himself desperate to be back to your side, racing through the tiled halls of the palace and following the urgent burn in his chest. you would have been right to turn him away, to deem him too weak to stay by your side, but you didn’t. you smiled when he lost his breath and laughed when he wavered, brushing off his concern. you invited him with you—his lungs burned with the need for oxygen—as you twirled the gnoses between your fingers, as if they were toys or paperweights rather than objects of divine power.
divine to him. child’s play to you. a courtyard of snow was cleared in an instant, ripples of pyro melting permafrost while keeping the flora beneath intact, a lazy show of power that pulled little more than a slight hum from you in response.
he wasn’t so much a fool as to think he could teach you everything, or even something, about being divine. and yet he clung to your side like a sailor in a storm, watching as you grew familiar with the elements. he watched, stubborn and weak, as you stopped hesitating.
flowers bloomed as you walked by, crumbling to ash with the slightest look. electro jumped from your skin to his, a painful spark that drew his mind from his head, finally seeing your amused eyes instead of just mindlessly staring. you could—should—have just left him behind, but you didn’t. you instead asked for his help, taking his hand in yours and leading him to a quieter hallway of the palace. you didn’t comment on his thundering pulse despite the fact that you could certainly feel it, tracing a finger along the crease of his palm.
“i wonder…”
a claw of geo cut across his skin, a sharp sting that quickly welled with blood. he barely felt it, watching with detached awe as it filled up his hand, sliding over the edge and dripping to the floor. you didn’t show any emotion, just… watching. his heart beat in his hands, a pool collecting on the floor, and still, you just watched. your other hand moved over the surface, barely an inch away, the blood collecting in a bubble beneath it. with a hum, your fist tightened, pain lighting up his arm. a strained grunt slipped between his teeth, hand flinching closed, brushing against the ball of his blood you had pulled from his veins. his hand was stained red, shaking in your grasp, minutes stretched into hours.
all at once, it dropped, forced back into his body as forcefully as it was removed. with a snap, the skin stitched itself shut, and you were again dragging him along like a child did their favorite toy.
you did that a lot. pull him aside and experiment with whatever new reaction you had discovered that month, week, day, hour, watching his reactions with unabashed delight. and he let you. every time, without fail, he eagerly followed, knowing full well he’d end up rigid with lightning or with ice crystals studding his throat. it was worth it, though. you always fixed him up, squeezing his hand with a whispered ‘good job’ that never failed to make him dizzy.
it didn’t matter what you did to him. it never did. even when his mind was hazy with pain and he couldn’t quite stand on his own, he never regretted it. unconsciousness licked at the edges of his vision, burning black stains that lingered even after you stopped, but he never once hesitated.
if you asked him to jump, he’d ask how high. if you felt like holding him underwater, he’d cherish every bruise. to be kept as a toy was still to be kept.
#THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A REPLY TO AN ASK. UH. SORRY AVATAR ANON ...#genshin#genshin impact#genshin sagau#sagau#self aware genshin#genshin x reader#gender neutral reader#sagau childe#yandere childe#childe x reader#x reader#yandere tartaglia#sagau tartaglia#< do people even use the 'tartaglia' tags? oh well#yandere sagau#blood tw#tw blood#< for good measure#ah yes my favorite genre. 'you're both unwell and need to be quarantined for the good of society'#hes so. rat coded im in love with him#sorry for fatui posting. it Will happen again#sorry for yan posting. it /Will/ happen again#like seriously the next few ideas ive got are all about unwell men#i dont know if id count this as obsessive but its certainly A form of lovesickness#but i feel when people read 'yandere' they think of something else than i do#and for That perception then 'obsessive' fits better#i will be flagging this with the yan warning on my masterlist#childe ajax tartaglia my favorite chew toy <333#hes so fun to beat up i wanna make him cry about it. i mean what who said that
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You know, it's funny how Sylus is very casual and nonchalant about people robbing him, but he gets highly offended if you think he's poor (spend only $1 million).
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#lnds ramblings#oh to be a stupidly rich person with skewed priorities#wait#unless he grew up in extreme poverty and was ridiculed and demeaned for it#and developed some sort of complex about it#which would be kind of weird since he has also mentioned how other people's perception of you shouldn't matter or impact your self-esteem#✨️unless✨️#this was something he had personally learned to overcome#am i just brainrotting a little too hard#mayhaps#i've been in a weird mindset the last couple of days#😔
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And when OPLA calls back to Zeff telling the crew to read stories to Zoro so he can hear their voices and recover faster, by having Sanji sit by his bedside on Thriller Bark and read him a book about the All Blue. What will you do then?
#literally the scene of Nami reading Zoro Noland’s book at the Baratie is my favorite addition#cause East Blue Nami is so damn prideful so seeing her do something that seems silly-#(reading to someone who isn’t listening)#-is such a fun way to mark her progress as a character#I can see her being the one to remind Sanji of Zeff’s advice and the act of reading to Zoro being a way to process the sort of.#hit to his pride and even self-perception that is Zoro’s interference in Thriller Bark.#why did Zoro stop him? Why would Zoro want to die in his place? Choose his dream instead of his own?#(maybe because he knew that sitting by your friend’s still body- helpless- is the worst feeling in the world)#Aside from this though I can specifically see the book being about the All Blue working#cause its a reminder about what a wonderful dream Sanji has. It’s a way to regain vigor and the willingness to fight for it#after having just tried to discard it in the face of Kuma moments prior. Specially know that he knows Zoro is fighting for it too#matt owens are you out there. please#opla#one piece#roronoa zoro#blackleg sanji#opla spoilers#for like future seasons that may or may not even happen#my post#zosan
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DIRK: Oh, y-
DIRK: Yeah.
DIRK: Man.
DIRK: This is some fucked up shit alright.
DAVE: i know
#crying screaming throwing up thinking about dave and dirks fucked up relationship#homestuck#dave strider#dirk strider#homestuck panel redraw#page 7763 for reference lol#knight of time#prince of heart#something something about both their aspects being linked with identity yet their perceptions of self are comeplete opposites
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one of the fun things to do when writing Duke pov is that he lies to himself, and sometimes that makes him a huge fucking hypocrite. Duke will tell it like it is to every single person around him and then tell himself the sky is green. He is honest and truthful except in his own head lmao
Dude will 100% tell a teammate to take a rest take a break their over working themselves and then just take up their slack like he wasn't already holding the earth, the moon, and also maybe pluto on his shoulders
#batfam#duke thomas#bread talk#yall are more than free to disagree with me this is just my reading#dude will overwork himself cause who else is going to do it#and that is something we talk a lot about in duke fan circles i know but i love it so much#also i think for some parts duke Knows that he's lying to himself#he's extremely self perceptive and he has his own personality picked apart in boxes However he is still going to do it#someone get this kid some fucking sleep PLEASE
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parallel: Alucard and Seras - Nathaniel Hawthorne's “Rappaccini's Daughter” (1844)
#hellsing#TW: SA#hellsing ultimate#seras victoria#alucard hellsing#I MISS DOING WEB WEAVING it had been ages seen i last done one#alucard and seras is sooo#mother daughterism#overally rappaccini and beatrice relationship doesnt entirely fit alucard and seras relationship#but within this excerpt only really reminded me of the relationship between alucard and seras#of how she pushed against drinking blood at first and limit herself on blood while he over-indulged himself in it#web weaving#okay i changed it up a bit#i have seen an interview or something mentioning#that seras and alucard was like mirror#or something#i agree to that a lot#i feel like#they came from traumas that could relate to one another#alucard sees his past self in seras#and seras sees her potential future self in alucard#from my perception#somewhat their relationship is very much like of a mother and a daughter
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Let down - Radiohead
#aspens art things#WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS ONLY TOOK AN HOUR#WHAT ??#roblox#art#roblox art#digital art#roblox spraypaint#realistic spray paint#trans#transgender#symbolism#(youll never guess which tags go together)#trans symbolism#one day i am gonna grow wings#radiohead#lyrics#bright#ftm#color symbolism#except the symbolism is gender the complexity of it the perception you automatically gain and retain since birth#the perception you have to work for being just as hard as getting rid of the old one the fact that no matter how much you try to change#certain parts will never be ignored and you are stuck like that until you die. and even then you will always have it be part of you#because it isnt going away#and it wont#because it is you and so is your self so theres really no point in trying to cover it up and hide it away#something something#minecraft end poem#and the universe said everything you need is within you#and the universe said you are stronger than you know
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AM I A REAL BOY?
#dc#kon el#superboy#painting from a few months back? or so#went in w an acrylic pen more recently for the lines#something something existentialism and the abstraction of self identity and the despair of perception#dennis doodles
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irving and jopson the ocd brothers
#stopped being religious before i developed ocd so ive never had to deal w [gestures] all that but. good luck brother#anyway u ever think about that scene between crozier and jopson in the tent when hes dying and hes so miserably obviously still trying to#control his appearance and his composure and he looks like hes going to cry because he cant. anyway#preoccupation with outside perception and self improvement both and also Being Good can be something so personal and by that i mean#turn into a series of increasingly elaborate compulsions#turmoil on the inside neednt show on the out i tell myself tearfully in the mirror bc#bc im not doing the compulsions correctly enough that i deserve to leave the room just yet. weve been at it for hours. jopsoncore#jirv#thomas jopson
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Quick piece of @luluyamofficial 's character Lucelia + a 30 second speedpaint!
#my art#digital art#gift art#artists on tumblr#i hope you dont mind being mentioned!#stretches#anyway theres something that clicks in me with these characters#It feels tricky to describe#Because these characters are so personal and symbolic to the artist and I've only recently begun looking into them#I cant claim to fully know and understand them#I feel some sort of odd way saying something like that#but I do love is seeing this way of expression through characters that align in ways that are similar to how I operate with my own#These stories and characters crafted to be reflective of the artist's life and experiences and self perception#I love to see these little pieces- the glimpses of understanding for whats being conveyed#I love understanding and there are things I believe I do understand in some ways as they pertain to mental health and the relationship#to the self#but Understanding is secondary to enjoying seeing the expression of lived experience#coughs#anywhey. i hope you like the piece!#I've been turning these guys around in my head for a few days and have felt compelled to show appreciation for what I see#the general genre and type of work isnt what I've found myself drawn to in the past so ive been enjoying the Brain Expansion#bugs#roaches#cockroaches
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posts this cursed thing without context. versatile couple


also blinked and ended up with this

ok the context is actually how i was thinking how, in an hypothetical fandom scenario, my stupid ship would definitely be portrayed differently depending on the artist's preferences. yknow the tropes. this amused me Greatly. then i was sent the meme and i knew what i had to do
the context for the selfcest is selfcest. i rest my case. parabolan skinwalkery shit canonically goin on here
bonus for the first panel + the og hot yaoi base
#literally burst out laughing in the middle of drawing these madman style. i feel like ive created something that shouldnt exist#<- bearer of the curse#tagging this properly to spread the psychic damage of yaoidward. sorry. the curse compels me.#fallen london#fallen london oc#the twilight phantom#poor edward#nightmarriage#chaindoodles#fl meme#this isnt a self-perception thing But am pretty sure the semedward on the right is how he envisions himself/wishes he could be btw#ukerei is fine but smth about semerei just kills me. i cant look at them for more than 3s at a time.#everyday i get closer to shitpost hell (sbahj with my touys)#cw bright colours
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