#sometimes I feel embarrassed and other times I'm more of a : where did my audience go this is a lot of effort I put in !

[captainjacklyn]

Not me reading my own writing without realizing and being like : "Oh this is nice, I'm gonna reblog and like it." only to find out that it's my fucking post- ✋💀

[deep-fried-egg]

I need you for the oxytocin

This fic includes: g!p, a/b/o, alpha! Billie, Omega! R, r was a little hesitant at first, cockwarming, rut/heat cycles

SMUT BELOW THE CUT

Sometimes being the assistant of a big musician has it's perks! for one you get to meet a famous person and two... you might be able to help them through a very poorly timed rut.

That's actually what happened tonight. I'm pretty nervous since I'll be helping out the most beautiful woman I have ever met. she's got light blue eyes with a darker shade of blue around the edges of her irises. also she recently dyed the roots of her hair bright red! it looks amazing on her.

I can't stop thinking about her either. She is so beautiful and so talented. I'm so lucky to be allowed to be her assistant!

I had to stop her from going out on stage though. I mean she was going to go into rut SOON. I could smell it on her. and she had an extremely long set! I didn't want her to go into rut on stage and embarrass herself. plus I'm sure there is tons of omegas in the crowd that would go crazy if they smelled her going into rut. I just couldn't let her go out there.

I couldn't betray her like that! not after all of there years working together . It was too late for me to turn back. I had already made the decision to go up to her and tell her to stop.

"Hey Billie I- what are you doing?" I had definitely come into her dressing room at the worst time possible. she was grinding up against the handheld mic.

I guess she hadn't realized that I had walked in yet, so I waited for her to smell my presence. then when I noticed she did, I took a small step back. hoping to hide behind the door to give her some space to finish.

As soon as I took a step back she spoke up.

"I can feel you staring. quit it and help me out. aren't you supposed to be my assistant?" The alpha's voice had gotten deeper, more seductive, more... sexual.

She eventually decided to ignore me and started to grind down again, But now she was making a lot more noise than before.

I think the audience wanted to hear her, they must've been really excited. but it didn't seem to matter to her anymore.

"Billie!" I yelled, "What do you think you're doing!?" I grabbed her by the shoulder and tried to move her away from the mic. she shrugged me off.

"Do you not want to help me? do you want me to ask someone else to do it?"

"Fuck it." I replied. I wasn't going to lose this opportunity to touch THE Billie Eilish. So I moved closer to her and grabbed the handheld microphone she was holding and set it on the counter the alpha was sitting on right in front of the big mirror Billie had in her dressing room.

I took my other hand and cupped Billie's cheek. the alpha's face lit up even more. her skin was soft and warm. it felt amazing to be touching her like this.

she put one hand on my hip and brought the other down to her black and white shorts and pulled them down and off without hesitation. she then started to touch her hard cock through her boxers, looking away from me so she can pay attention to her throbbing dick.

I watched as she rubbed her hand over her shaft and slowly started to stroke it.

after a few seconds she paused so she could slip her boxers off too. then she turned back to me with those ocean eyes of hers. she still had one of her hands gripping my hip tightly, she needed something to ground her to reality while she was in this rut. or perhaps it was just another form of control. I couldn't tell. all I could tell was that the scent of her arousal was overpowering me, filling every cell of my body. it was like the air was thick with lust, sex, and raw animal instincts. it was intoxicating.

"Y'know what? I want you to cockwarm me. let me sit down in my chair." Billie said and pushed herself off the table towards her chair where she sat. I immediately followed suit. she looked up at me through her eyelashes, trying to read the look on my face. I just stared right back at her with my mouth agape. it was like I couldn't take my eyes off her.

I quickly regained my composure and undressed so I could slip her twitching dick inside of me. she groaned and ran her hands over my now bare hips making me flinch from how cold her rings felt against my skin.

I placed one hand on the back of her head and I wrapped my other arm around her waist pulling her into me and burying my nose in the crook of her neck. I gripped the back of her

Chicago Bulls jersey and inhaled deeply. She had to go on stage in about 30 minutes so things had to speed up. I knew that she would just take her suppressants after this so I need to enjoy this while it lasts.

"Could you do my hair for me? I don't know what style to do." Billie asked, pulling my head from her neck, "I always end up doing something weird."

"Sure." I answered, reaching around her to grab the elastics she had on the desk behind her. It'll be hard to focus with the way her dick is throbbing inside of me. she leaned back on the chair as I began to put her hair into two messy little buns on each side of her head.

Billie sat patiently as I tied them off. it took me a bit longer than usual, mainly because Billies huge dick inside of me was distracting me from the task at hand.

Billie softly trusted her hips up, pushing her dick deeper into me. I stopped tying the buns and slid my hands over her thighs, gently rubbing

she moaned "Oh, oh, I'm getting close baby. you feel good." she purred.

It seems like shes trying to mess me up at this point. does she want her hair to look bad? or is she just enjoying her current predicament?

Billie continued to buck her hips up, trying to make my job even harder for me. she's clearly trying to distract me. Its working.

Suddenly I felt billies knot slide out, pressing right against my pussy as she tried to shove it inside of me. we didn't have enough time to wait for her knot to go down though! I mean we only have 25 minutes until she needs to go onstage and perform. I didn't have enough time to tell her that though. as soon as I opened my mouth to ask her to not knot me she did the one thing I didn't want her to do. she fucking knotted me.

I felt all of her cum filling me up, going straight into my womb.

Is it too late to tell her that I'm not on birth control...?

[bengiyo]

My School President Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

This is now the comedy show anchoring Frigay now that My Tooth Your Love completed. Last week, Chinzilla needed to pass all of their exams to get permission to compete in Hot Wave, and so Best Boy Nominee Tiwson put Tinn and Gun in his brothers apartment for a week to study together. Tinn had many a fantasy, but many of us are convinced that one of them at least was from Gun's POV. By the end of the episode, it's clear the attraction is mutual, but we're not sure for how long it has been.

It's fun being genre aware sometimes. I predicted they'd be listening to their own music and would dunk on themselves. It's actually pretty clever of Gun to see themselves from the outside. I'm also a fan of the repeated confusion from Gun staring into the middle distance.

Hot boi alert.

Uh oh, the hot boi knows Tinn.

Tinn's continued failed attempts to flirt are endearing, but also a bit embarrassing. You know that boy is serious if he keeps taking all these Ls.

Of course Tinn picked Gun up. We will create a moment any way possible!

I love Tiwson. "Hot people like us always have competitors." The boy is self aware.

I hope Sound thinks he's in We Best Love and tries to pursue Tinn.

Nevermind. Sound as a pure rival is funny too.

Sound wasn't wrong about the band needing more focus in their rehearsals, but kicking out Gun seems a bit much. Of course the band members are loyal, but quitting seems like something Gun would do for the sake of the club.

Tiwson said, "Eyes on the prize."

Ah, using the audience to circumvent resistance is also clever of Sound.

Aun is playing this role to the hilt.

I feel like Gun just wanted to see Tinn dressed up. Tiwson must agree, because he just threw an assist by clearing the room.

Oh my. It might be time to revive my "they are literally always flirting" tag.

Gosh, this stairwell scene was lovely. These two are finally getting more comfortable with each other, and the chemistry is solid. Tinn is getting better at conveying how much he likes Gun as he is.

How did Gun not see his own band in the room? I love this boy. He's so ridiculous.

Interesting. Will Tinn encourage Gun to go back with his friends?

Of course he is! Tinn is a supporter!

Alright, who taught Fourth how to look at Gemini this way? That's the third or fifth time he's done that today.

All of these people in this room is going to be a fire hazard.

Suddenly emotional about generations of club members singing You've Got Ma Back together, and that being a major theme. Just like the name of the band, this is something the seniors pass on to their juniors.

Not the BBQ also being a ritual to take good and bad performances as they come. I'm already in my feelings. They even made sure to give Sound a good piece.

He's bringing the ritual pork to Tinn, but first, a Nivea ad. What in the Bad Buddy??

Oh ho! This is their second picture where Gun says, "Smile, Mr. School President."

THE PINKY TOUCH STILL BELONGS TO THE GAYS!!! We were right!

Oh things get interesting in a dramatic fashion next week..

[thekoopalingsandstuffs]

How did everyone feel about the Karaoke Event? Did y'all have fun? Did you like each other's songs? How was the whole experience?

Jr: "I had a great time!!! It was a bit nerve-racking being the first act, but I think I did a great job!!! And then I got to sit back and watch everyone else perform!!" *Tail wagging* "We should do it again sometime!!"

Lemmy: "Yeah, um... I hope Motley liked my song..." *Blushing*

Larry: "I did NOT like the part where Wendy had everybody beat me up!!! I didn't even do anything that day!!!"

Wendy: :)

Morton: "I hope The JP becomes like the new Cha Cha Slide!!"

Wendy: "That'd be cool... What exactly does JP stand for, though...?"

Morton: "..." *Shrugs* "I made it up-"

Iggy: "I knew, as soon as we were told about the event, that I would do a Weird Al song. That man is my idol... I had a hard time choosing which song to do, but I'm happy that, with the one I chose, I got to roast Topper in front of everyone!" :D

Ludwig: "Oh, it was wonderful!! I enjoyed watching all the group acts, like Rango and Koops singing a duet, or Peasley and his family playing together! And I myself had a great time singing with Roy!! I think things like this are more fun when you do it with the people you love!"

Roy: "I'm just glad you had fun, Luds." :3

Peasley: "... That was so embarrassing singing that song on stage... I did NOT get to practice or review it beforehand—I was given a lyrics page at the last second and expected to just figure it out. That song is clearly not meant for me to be singing."

Motley: "But you still had fun, right?" ;3

Peasley: "... Yeah. Yeah, I did..."

Nabbit: "I think I pulled off my performance spectacularly. All other acts failed in comparison to my natural, raw talent~"

Spewart: "I almost fricking passed out on stage-"

Hariet: "I wonder if Roy knew the song I was singing was about him... Well, either way, I hope he liked it!!" :D

Rango: "Ooooooh, singing with Koops was SO FUN!!! We should go to karaoke clubs or something like that on dates now!! I wouldn't even mind just watching other people sing while sitting with him!! Music is... Life-changing!!!"

Topper: "I wrote that song all on my own... I think I should try becoming a musician. I mean, I'm definitely not a good singer, but I think I'm a good songwriter." *Walks into another room* "And even though Ples and I aren't really dating, it felt nice to write a song about her and make her feel special."

Plessie: "I know I don't have any actual feelings for Topper, but that song still made me so happy... He is such a sweetheart... As a side note... I think I saw my crush in the audience by the time I went up to perform my song. So... I wonder if she saw Topper's song, and what she thought of it. ... Everyone else's songs were great, too!!!"

Koops: "I was nervous about going on stage, but... Eh. It really wasn't that bad! Especially since Rango was more of the leader, so I just had to follow him. On the contrary, I think his siblings' songs were all wonderful! Two of them appeared to be love songs. I sure would love to be the lucky guy they were singing to... They all sounded so sweet!"

Pom: "My song wasn't actually about anyone, if you were wondering. I just think that songs about romance drama are fun!" :D "Wendy and Morton both did a great job with their songs, too!!!"

[yieldfruit]

🕯 What a week it has been. What a season it has been. My goodness. I've often done little updates over the last few years of things happening, but sometimes I'm unsure who I am exactly doing it for. I think I do it for myself to get things off my chest. I personally like to read personal things about bloggers I follow as well, especially Christ followers who share the ins and outs and are raw, not trying to live behind a stoic veneer. I appreciate that. Always bringing it back to Christ, yet not sacrificing truth in the process (I think of David in the Psalms. Real, raw, and always coming back to the Lord and giving glory to him).

My heart has been broken over the last week and a half. From a loss dear to my heart and before that almost losing my mom a few weeks ago that I think I had delayed sadness in from the slight shock. There have been a few other big disappointments in business (although generally it's going well- but I feel like I can sense the recession in our field finally), and in home (we were about to move into a place the first week of January. It fell through with no reason given). Then the general strangeness this time of year- trying to keep the focus on Christ always and yet sometimes feeling, well, a sense of loneliness and in that dare I say self-pity. I am a very relational person and I enjoy loving, I really am a nurturer and someone who, when I love you, I go deep and into quality and trust- I have very few people in my life, and focus on deepness on what I do have. I am someone who does well in a deeply relational familial setting- and sometimes this isn't always what we get, and I take all that love to the Lord. My human heart on Earth is aware of the lack, however.

I get a lot of hate mail on here, but what is interesting is that it doesn't bother me. Generally I just read the first few words and delete when I sense this person is being hateful, I don't have a desire to partake in being an audience to darkness and reading explicit words. I watch what I put my eyes on in all areas. The mail doesn't bother me. I should pray for the people more- I do sometimes, but sometimes I just delete and don't think about it because it's just being on auto-pilot of deleting. What is also interesting is that attacks on my faith strengthen it. This is one of the areas of Scripture that really comes to life- how being hated for our beliefs actually is a blessing (Matthew 5:11). It's one of the mysteries of Scripture that I see in fruition- it shouldn't strengthen and bless us to be hated, but for some reason, it does and it tenderizes my heart. I don't get angry or prideful in reaction like I would I am sure if it was any other area of my life. I don't need to defend God or Scripture, my goodness, he is more powerful than I- I am at peace to be in the refuge of the shadow of his wings.

I wish I could reach out to people and tell them I love them. I had a dream the other night I did something along those lines and then panicked and tried to take it back because of being embarrassed in the vulnerability and not receiving love in response. Maybe that's cowardice, I don't know. I feel like perhaps it does have some cowardice in it to withhold my expressing love to another because I know they don't feel the same. Maybe it's wisdom. Unsure. I have love piling up on my heart and unsure where to place it, so I keep it and stoke the fires and they never quite go out.

I have a lot to be thankful for. I could list things, but it feels like boasting, but what I mean is God has provided. In different ways and not all the ways I have prayed for, but he is not a genie anyway- he shouldn't give me all I want, I don't want a God that does that. I want him to know better than I and give me what I need in each season even if that means scarcity at times. He knows better than I.

I need the Lord. I cannot and could not do life with him. I mean this with all my being- he is all I truly have. He is all I truly need. I don't even need life, it is not my own. I desire more of him and to be with him. I wish I could be with him in person now and just hearing from him over a cup of coffee- that sounds so silly and slightly blasphemous doesn't it? I think what I mean is I want to relate to him so much here and now, to have that relationship with him more and more. He is in me and with me, and yet I crave more. I long for the Lord.

Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life. Psalm 54:4

My soul longs, yes, faints, for the courts of the LORD. Psalm 84:2

[goldenpinof]

As much as you can say without major spoilers, how was his performance? You basically experienced WAD as a standup show 😭 why is it always warsaw? Hope you experience the full thing in Berlin!

"why is it always Warsaw?" LITERALLY

i was trying to recollect my thoughts and emotions, i'm sorry.

the show was good. i liked it. i didn't expect much from it and i got more than i hoped for. HE LOOKED ME IN THE EYES. TWICE. I LOVE HIS EYES. i don't wanna know my facial expressions during those moments, but they were definitely embarrassing. he was clearly enjoying himself even though we didn't have his fancy stage and i bet it hurt him. i know that he is so proud of his lights :( we didn't have the cubes so the show ended abruptly. like, the cubes are the indication of the final act if you don't know the script WRONG i should have started freaking out in intermission. when he was sitting there making all of us sad i was like, "okay, honey, go on" and he just stopped and everyone started standing up for ovations. i was like ???? hello?? aren't we missing something?? post-credits act with cubes? 😭 a piece of me literally died. i yelled "where are the cubes?" at least twice. it hurts more than the lights.

our audience was amazing. a-fucking-mazing. we can crack jokes! and we were doing it all the time. sometimes we were laughing at ourselves and it barely had anything to do with Dan. like, who cares what he thinks i need to acknowledge the person who just made me laugh, like YES BITCH, WHAT DID YOU SAY 😭 (it was seconds, it wasn't bothering Dan, don't worry. most of the time he was reacting to our yelling). i was sitting behind someone who was even louder than me and they had a drink. when Dan said something like "until you start throwing drinks at me" they swung it and i was like, "PLEASE 😂". Dan must have seen it, we were in the 3-4 rows, and he was standing in front of us. i can't imagine how annoying the yelling must be for those who are not there for this specific part and i'm so sorry. but it's Dan, you have to yell at him. when Dan left the stage mid-performance, someone yelled along the lines "Dan, come out, you've already done this once" and i wasn't the only one quoting it afterwards. it was fucking awesome 😭 we also called Phil "annoying" (me, including) and Dan just went with it. in that moment i didn't even care about what was on the screen, screaming bullshit at him was the main and most entertaining part. we got DISGOSTANG (hi, @danielhowell, i love your eyes, and i have no idea what you were saying while looking into mine 😂 i hope we repeat it in Berlin and i will finally listen to you). we sent Dan to kill p*tin. well, i sent him for specifically that purpose. he phrased it differently. i don't remember half of the show but i surprisingly liked the opening and how he touched the war in Ukraine. it wasn't much but he was careful enough for me not to cancel him. but he should be even more careful on the 24th, oh man, it's gonna be hard. we all know he talks about politics a lot, and some of the jokes fell flat since we were in a country that went through forced communism and no one is fun about it. also, since we didn't have any wad banners outside the venue or even in the venue that thing also was awkward 😂 but he made a joke about the cemetery right next to us. kudos to Dan, i really appreciated him looking around. those death jokes like,,, we get each other. there were a lot of Polish culture references (i do include politics in "culture"), more than i thought it would. i like it, it's a very mild additions to the script but they let us feel seen 🥺 can't wait for Germany. i expect to hear something about Angela Merkel but who knows if he's that easy 😂

no spoilers but he trusts us! it's so shocking to see with your own eyes.

after the show we were waiting outside and talking about the show, Dan and Phil, future shows and whatever. the best phannie gathering, we really need to organise a phanniecon! there were people from, obviously, Poland, Portugal, the Czech Republic, Latvia, and who knows where else. that person from Latvia spoke russian and we exchanged some bullshit phrases but it felt soooo good, instant love 🥰 it was so different from my experience in moscow in 2018. like if this is 10/10 then moscow was like 4/10. either we as an audience grew up or russian phannies just don't have that vibe of freedom and warmth, despite speaking the same language? maybe both. we went to the show as a group of 6 people but after the show, we were talking to everyone who remained outside to wait for Dan. so random, so easy, so fucking fun.

overall, i don't remember 80% of the show. but Dan knows we're here for his onlyfans. if he likes to strip occasionally we're ready to give him money (for not only his therapy 😉)

and people said he wasn't as tall as they thought!!

[ddarker-dreams]

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Lowkey wanna send you all of these asks, I'm interested to know it all 😭

[ask game]

HI HI thanks for sliding into my inbox <3 i figured i'd take this chance to thank you for all the blessed feedback you leave in the tags of my posts,, they're always such a highlight omg <33

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

for themes, i'd say isolation, existentialist dread, powerlessness, idolization, obsession and heightened emotions. when it comes to scenes, it's probably obvious to anyone who has read a few of my stories that i focus on the back and forth between the main characters. what they reveal with their words, what they imply, struggle to keep hidden, etc... feeding off each other and often showing the most unsightly sides of themselves. it's one of my favorite ways to create tension because as the reader, you (hopefully) wonder when the other might snap. where that invisible line in the sand is that shouldn't be crossed. and when that line is crossed, how it'll be dealt with accordingly.

as for imagery. well. i'm basic. i love figurative imagery a little too much, probably. i like how it can be open to interpretation, since when i'm reading and authors use this, it feels they trust their audience's intelligence if that makes sense ?? where not everything has to be spelled out. knowing that two people might read the same story and come away with different interpretations is a cool thought to me. the downside of this is that i'll sometimes wonder if i'm writing something too vague and it's coming off as pretentious... 😭

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

oh god. everything from my BNHA era if i'm being honest. 2019-early 2020 is when i was getting back in the groove of writing after a long hiatus, so it was rough. i never proofread anything i published (whereas now i read stories multiple times before posting them). i'd just open up my laptop, tip tap away for an hour or two, then figure the story is finished. good enough. this story was the first i ever spent more than one day on. i remember being very pleased with how it came out, which led me to put in more effort from that point onward. what i wrote back then may have been unpolished, but i had fun while doing it, and that's what matters the most!

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

SWEATS ... my brain has gone blank... hmm..... i think that my greatest strength is bringing various characters to life. whether it's a super complicated plot or a simple back and forth, i focus most on capturing the essence of what makes the character, well, the character they are. i'll reread/rewatch scenes with them in it multiple times to try and get their speaking patterns and body language down. it's always an ongoing process though, like trimming a bonsai tree. how i write so and so today is different than how i did a year ago, even if it's in small ways. i enjoy this part of the process and think that i'm okay at it!!!!

[astral-from-afar]

Ooh nice to see a fellow Kamen Rider type of person

Personally, out of the three main tokusatsu, I think I watched Kamen Rider more than anything. I did watch all 3 equally at first but my interest went from Ultraman and Super Sentai (from when I was little) to more of Kamen Rider as I grew older.

I haven't watched much from Reiwa since I stopped watching Tokusatsu maybe 3 years ago. But growing up, my parents were into tokusatsu, so I was naturally shown a lot of it, lmaoo. I kinda stopped being open about it after some kid in third grade made fun of me for it 💀

After that, I became self-conscious about it as I grew up, so I told myself I had to stop watching it. My parents still watch it though, and they tell me it's good, but I don't have the courage to start watching again 😭 Lately I wish I didn't do that cause now I feel like I'm missing out on the fun lmao- it was really fun to watch because they tend to have a deeper/darker meaning to them, even if it seems to be for younger audiences at first glance, which I find neat.

I don't really remember much from W, since I watched it way back when I was younger, but I remember the acting was great (I think the actor for Philip was only 15 at that time? I've seen that guy in other J-dramas and his acting is amazing). I remember liking W but I just don't really remember what it was about. Maybe I should revisit it sometime.

I think my favorite was Den-O. I'm pretty sure I've watched all of the heisei ones but I can't recall all of the good ones that I liked. I do remember liking the 3 last Heisei ones which I believe were Ghost, Exaid, and Build, but out of those 3, I think Ghost was the best.

ALSO YOU ARE SO RIGHT the kamen rider soundtracks tend to be bangers

Oops I kinda talked too much about myself LMAOA (I tried to shorten this the best I could. i really did. I DELETED 3 PARAGRAPHS LMAO)

No way you used to be a fan AS WELL. Now I feel a bit embarrassed for recommending stuff. Also Den-o is top tier. Deneb is probably one of my favourite kamen rider characters just for how funny he is.

To be fair I was more of a Power Rangers kid growing up. I started off watching mega force when it was still airing and religiously watched the reruns of older stuff like Dino Thunder, which was my favourite.

I stopped watching after a bit because man are kids RUTHLESS. Some of them made fun of me so I stopped watching for a bit. Luckily I have younger siblings who were watching the show up on it so I became a casual viewer, mostly watching for my siblings and then lying at school the next day.

The reason I got into Toku was actually because of a YouTuber that I was subscribed to. I had 0 clue what kamen rider was and they were praising fourze so I thought ‘I’ve seen jojo part 4, this is practically that with superheroes’ and then proceeded to watch the series. I then moved onto the other series like ooo, build,gaim,W,Den-o,ex-aid and blade.

Funny story about my watch through of blade is that I had no context for where most of the memes in the fanbase came from so I watched Blade to mainly understand everything. I had gotten up to the final arc but had to take a break since mock season was going on. When I finished I remember that I rushed home and decided to watch the last arc, despite being very tired. Yeah big mistake. Who knew a bench could make Astral cry but it did

I’m wondering right now what series to watch now. The smartest decision is to probably catch up to the latest season but I’m probably going to wait until it finishes to binge it. I’m torn on watching a late heisei era show or trying to see more early heisei works. I’ll do what I do best which is spin a wheel and decide what to watch lol.

Nooo man you don’t need to shorten down your thoughts. It’s fun reading this stuff and believe me I’ve been holding back from spamming the dashboard with my random Toku thoughts so you shouldn’t worry about if you’re saying too much. If you want to get back into it the newest season of kamen rider is around the corner so you could start getting back into it from there.

[mcalhenwrites]

I went from being on anon and not sharing that I was posting Seasons to being openly proud that I wrote it. Before I posted the first chapter back in October, I had finally gotten to a point where I was confident in my writing abilities. It took far too long to get here. I'd convinced myself that I deserved nothing but criticism and ought to be embarrassed by everything I wrote. Plenty of people validated that feeling, so I took that as confirmation. Surprisingly, my being anon had nothing to do with that. After making my writing private or deleting it entirely, I had a chance to really think about my relationship to sharing. (Which still needs work, as I'm about to go into.) It's a vulnerable process, but ultimately, I still want to do it. I love writing, but it's hard to find an audience, and did I actually deserve one? It was nice to write without thinking about the perfectionism. That's likely what struck me: I always enjoy creating stories, but I get caught up in cycles of editing (still do) where I nitpick out of fear that nothing I create is good enough. I looked at my writing and realized, no, I've been so hard on myself. This is good. These are interesting stories to me, and surely other people will find them interesting as well! I slowly took a few stories out of the private collection months later. But then there was Seasons. :') I was afraid that I'd be condemned for the content in Seasons. Every single story I create is self-indulgent in different ways. Some show an obvious love of steampunk, others show I like dragons, some are kinky af, others are introspective to the moon and back. They're not for everyone. They're for me. But I want them to be for other people, too, and that's okay! Still, Seasons is indulgent in its vulnerablity and rawness. I have a bad relationship with my own trauma and how I have to live with it in the world being what it is, for one. I didn't know if many other people would read it. I knew it was the kind of thing that likely wouldn't get published. It doesn't work for traditional publishing, and self-publishing can be specific about what's allowed. (Especially given the popularity of book banning in my country.) That's why it's up on AO3. I'd like it to remain there, free to read for those that might need the catharsis. Anyway, people did read it. A lot of them have. I got asks about it on another tumblr account I created just to stay anon, and while those have since died down, and I do think the story has some weaker parts that might be the reason I've scared off a handful of writers, it does seem to get a lot of hits each time I update. People who don't usually comment sometimes pop in suddenly to say they've been reading a while or still are reading. It's really touching. I don't need to to validate my relationship with my writing, but it does validate my relationship with sharing. Perhaps that is what made it easier to feel comfortable with coming off anon in baby steps. I'm anxious to finish Seasons and start sharing more of my other works! (And getting back to writing a few of them.) I'm proud of those novels too! :D Oh, and an odd side effect, but my pride in Seaons has made me love my other works like Rascal and The Dragons' Cosmos even more. It's not Seasons, per se, just a general... feeling that the more I love one story, the good I see in others, and it keeps going. Honestly, I know it's hard to believe people when they say it's worth being confident and saying positive things, that you should accept compliments, et cetera. Especially if you've ever been in any writing groups or fandoms where your work is the centerpiece for anyone's jokes. It gets reallllly fucking hard to overcome that. So I'm not going to say, "Oh hey, here's advice!" I know from experience no one is going to take it. But I will say this: when I was active on twitter, I saw a lot of fairly well-known authors talking about imposter syndrome and a lack of confidence, as well as the humiliation they've gone through before and while in the industry.

To conclude: all that advice was right, is what I'm saying! XD

(please just let me post my lazy conclusion, tumblr, I beg of you)

[tribow]

So I watched My Tiny Senpai

I have some mixed feelings on this anime. On one hand, I did enjoy it overall. On the other hand.......the premise is inconsequential!

Do you like shortstacks? Well that's all the "Tiny Senpai" in question has to offer! The fact that she is short barely factors into her character or the story. She is short only for the appeal of it and nothing more. This is the fanservice character and the love interest of the main character.

The main man is nearly a blank slate in his own right. There isn't anything to latch on to about him, just a simple nice guy. He's so uninteresting that I thought he would be the audience-insert character of the story. Like the viewer should be just as attracted to the Tiny Senpai as much as the main character!

However, that take would be a disservice to both of these characters. While I wouldn't say they're super good, their personalities are revealed more through their interactions with each other. Both are mutually in love with each other, but both are also too embarrassed to express that. They approach their feelings differently and it did slowly become entertaining to watch them. However, if the story only ever focused on these two it honestly would have been pretty lame.

That's where the rest of the cast comes in! The side characters single-handedly save this show. Heck one of them has their own silly romantic relationship that is both more interesting and way funnier than the relationship of the main duo! I'd rather have this side girl be the main character!

Other characters tend to mess with the main two by instigating the progression of their relationship. They elevate the comedy of the romance in a way main duo could never.

It's so weird to me just how nothing the premise of the title turned out to be. There's even a girl late in the show who is just as short as the Tiny Senpai and it's not even addressed. I wish I watched, "I'm in Love with my Overly Platonic Manager" cause that's the best part of My Tiny Senpai.

Those complaints aside, it is an alright anime. The beginning starts out a bit boring, but as the side characters get more screen-time, the show gets better.

In terms of production, Project No. 9 was handling this one. There wasn't anything special in the animation department. I got nothing bad or good to say about it, but I find that preferable sometimes. It's less distracting when it's consistent. The same could be said for the audio, more or less.

If you're looking for a rom-com My Tiny Senpai isn't exactly a must-see, but I wouldn't call it a bad choice to watch either. Honestly, if they have a season 2 it might be pretty good if it stays at the quality that the end of the anime reached.

[fullofleaves]

I feel like one of my fics ended up on a "rec" list or something, thought I'm using the word "rec" there very loosely because whatever list it's on definitely isn't recommending anything. In the past few days, I've just been getting negative comment after negative comment.

And fandom, I gotta ask. Why would people bother to go through a story that was finished eight years ago and leave their stale, unnecessary two cents? Honestly, this is baffling, and kind of funny. It raises so many questions. Namely, what do they expect me to do about the fact that they hate my characterization? Am I mean to go back and change things? Should I rewrite the plot of this entire fic to fix the fact that it allegedly doesn't make sense? Should I even be caring about the opinions of somebody who doesn't seem know how to spell the word "series"? Do I owe them a refund of the zero dollars they paid to read this? Did they accidentally hit "comment" instead of "close tab"? Did they accidentally do that multiple times??? (Wow that's embarrassing.)

Anyway, bottom line is: I don't care. I'm an adult, and I write for a primary audience of myself. If other people like it, that's a bonus, but I have to be honest here. 100% of everything I inflict upon AO3 is because I wanted to write it, I found the idea entertaining, and I decided to type it all out for my own personal satisfaction. I don't expect readers to enjoy every single choice I make. Hell, sometimes I'm not thrilled with what I do, but I do it anyway because I want to move past X roadblock and get on to Y scene. This is the great thing about writing fanfic on the internet. It doesn't have to be perfect. I can write absolute dreck if I want, and nobody can stop me. 🙃

But the big, glaring problem I see here is with the comfort level some people have with leaving these comments in the first place. See, I can take it. I get that email notification, I read their silly little opinion, and I dismiss it with a hearty guffaw. I am a confident person. The words of somebody I don't know and don't respect on the internet are about as important to me as bird crap on my car. It's a minor annoyance that I wipe up and delete if it's particularly bad and then don't think about again. Is bird crap going to stop me from parking on that side of the street? Nope. Are mean comments going to make me change my writing? (See answer to previous.)

Now what if I were a much younger person just starting out, posting a piece of writing for the first time? One I was incredibly proud of, and nervous to share with the fandom community?

Because I'm currently a contrary asshole, there are two things a negative comment will do to me. 1) Nothing. 2) Make me double down on my bullshit. Scenario 2 is way more likely, FYI. At a younger age, though, I would have been devastated. It took me a lot of years, a lot of practice, and a lot of determination to get to where I am now in my confidence level. As a teenager, and even in college, I didn't have that. I have literally been writing fanfic since before I knew fanfic was a thing other people did, but for years I never shared it because I was nervous about how it would be received. Other people's opinions mattered a lot more to me back then.

If I had received these kinds of comments on something I had written when I was 20, flat out, I would have stopped writing.

So that brings me back around to my original question of why people bother leaving negative comments and unsolicited criticism. Are you REALLY trying to help the author improve? Do you REALLY think your comments will have a net positive impact down the road? Is it REALLY necessary to go to the trouble of typing out your soggy opinion on a gay superhero story you read for free on the internet? For real, my dudes, I always find it easier to just nope out of something that's not to my tastes. Reading the whole story and then commenting about how much I hate it seems. Uh. What's the word I'm looking for? Oh yeah. Pointless.

People who do this aren't trying to improve anything. They're not leaving criticism that's constructive in any way. They're just dicks with petty grievances. How cringe.

Now to go delete some more shit because I don't need this kind of negativity in my life. ╰(*°▽°*)╯

[carpisuns]

The way Marinette throws Chat Noir in the trash very angrily in one moment and in the other is like, "omg!! 😍💖💗Adrien😍💖💗 is sad!!! my poor baby CAN'T be sad!!" just..... sends me, lmao. The IRONY.

I find it genuinely funny 😅 It reminds how in the New York Special she was, like, EXTREMELY flustered around Adrien and couldn't even let him touch her without turning into a tomato/making a teapot noise, and then when she sees Chat Noir she's like, "excuse me, bitch?? watcha doing here??" But the best example was in Desperada when Adrien and Chat tell exactly the same joke, and she giggles at Adrien's joke and rolls her eyes at Chat 😭😭

Like. I can't see a sudden reveal going smoothly at all. She'll absolutely FREAK OUT 😂 (To be fair, I think that the difference in treatment it's not only about her crush on Adrien. She sees Adrien as this very sensitive, sweet boy and Chat Noir as this super cocky, confident hero who needs no coddling, if it makes sense...?) Anyway, Chat will have A LOT of fuel to make fun of her........ Wax lips, three suns, buttercup.... Y'know.

haha same! glaciator 2 made me laugh so much, including the trash can bit, and it's always so funny to see how differently she reacts to adrien vs chat noir. i gotta think that she'll be embarrassed about how spazzy she was around adrien when he was really her goofy dork of a partner all along lol.

as much as i appreciate the humor/irony of it though, i totally get why the difference in treatment is frustrating for a lot of fans. i feel that too at times. i am always rooting for marinette to get to the point where she can just speak comfortably with adrien and not be so weird and nervous because that would really make their friendship blossom. like, imagine if she could hang out with adrien the way she did with chat in glaciator 2. aaaa 😭

i'm also really hoping that she learns to see chat noir differently too. i get the sense that as much as she cares about him, she does tend to see him as being a little immature, not taking the job seriously, getting into trouble, etc. i definitely agree that she seems to see chat noir as too cocky to need coddling. i feel like she thinks he's pretty unflappable—like, if he's down for a second, it's okay because he'll bounce right back. "he'll be fine; he's chat noir." but sometimes he isn't fine! and he doesn't let her see that often.

i think glaciator 1 was the first time she really saw how sensitive and genuine and gentle chat noir really is, so she knows that side of him, but not nearly as well as we do, as the audience. there's a lot she doesn't see. she doesn't know how hurt he is by the events going on, and she doesn't see how hard he's trying and how much pressure he puts on himself. like, how long was he out there cataclysming ladynoir posters 😭😭 she had no idea that he was doing that! so yeah, while i do find marinette's adrien/chat noir disconnect super interesting and entertaining, i hope we see some development where marinette starts to naturally merge them a bit in her mind. not necessarily figuring it out (although that would be cool!) but at least just expanding her view of chat noir and seeing/understanding him more clearly on an individual level before she finds out he was adrien all along.

i agree that a sudden reveal would probably not go smoothly at this point, and the shock of it could've been really funny/entertaining in previous seasons, but at this point i feel like a reveal would be more angsty than anything D: im really excited to see whatever is in store for us but i'm hoping we won't get the reveal quite yet bc i would love to see some development first!

hahaha yesssss the post-reveal shenanigans will be AMAZING. i very much enjoy the idea of adrien good-naturedly teasing marinette for all the embarrassing things she did lol

[luvlyrv]

Our Songs | Extra | Wendy x F!Reader SM!AU

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: So happy to say this series is completely finished now!! Enjoy!! I'm moving onto more projects and hopefully can wrap up some one shots I've been working on. This is a different style from what I usually do since it is an extra, warning that the post looks really long because it's in bulleted style lol

Date: 9/1/21

Series Masterlist

after your confession with wendy you were stuck with an enormous burst of energy

you were on cloud nine, a seemingly never-ending high

you decided not to text wendy the day right after

you didn't want her to think you regretted anything but you also didn't want to seem too clingy

also it didn't help that just thinking about her was enough to throw you into cardiac arrest

you didn't receive any notifications from wendy either

it was a bit disappointing, but you assumed she was also trying to take in the shock of it all

trying to take your mind off of wendy you spend an entire day running around your house

you pick up your instruments and have the jam of your life

emotional highs are very good for your creativity it seems

you decide to record some things and save some drafts

who knows if it'll be useful in the future?

you worked till you felt dead tired and like you couldn't have another thought in your brain

even after you spent an entire day trying to exert your nervous and elated energy you were still hesitating on texting wendy when you woke up

but you missed her so much already

so you send a text asking her how she feels

she says she feels okay, and then asks about you

'yeah, i'm okay too'

your conversation was rocky

things weren't going as smooth as before

and it was evident that it was because the both of you had no idea how to behave

you took a deep breath before texting her your question

'so, can i take you on that first date?'

you see a bubble showing that she was texting

and then it disappeared

before showing up again

and disappearing

and- ugh! your heart was racing waiting for her answer

i mean, she liked you back right? so why would she say no?

'yeah, of course! :)'

whew, okay, looked like you almost made a big deal out of nothing

little did you know wendy was freaking out

she was a bit embarrassed at herself, acting as if she was a high school kid in love or something

it took wayyy too much concentration for her to type out something sensible

but she was excited for you to finally ask

you were also excited for her to say yes

your first date is at the downtown center

there was a festival and you were hoping to enjoy all the effort the artisans put into their work with wendy

you're walking with her through the numerous stalls set up

as the both of you admire the beautiful crafts set on display your hand reaches for hers

you feel the pressure of her hand squeezing back and you look at her

she looks at you and giggles

you didn't even realize what you were doing

'oh, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to do that suddenly.' you freak out and let go of her hand

you're worried that she was laughing at you and that she didn't want to hold hands

'it's okay! i thought it was cute'

she reaches out for you and you don't let go this time

instead you enjoy how happy she seems to be sharing this moment with you

and out in public too

later on you both go to the square where there were musicians

the sun was beginning to set, allowing for beautiful lighting and you appreciated songs you've never listened to before

wendy tugs at your arm while still staring at the performers

'i hope we can perform up there someday. together.'

you smile at her as she still looks on

'i think we will.' you assure her

finally night hits and you both call it a day

you walk her to her car and stop her

you kiss her forehead

'so, will there be a second?' you ask with a smile

you feel like you already know the answer

'i think that sounds great.'

life with wendy in it became easy

you guys seldom fought

and even when you did at least one of you would make something for the other

dropping it off at the doorstep and leaving an apology note

and after enough time of cooling down you would always come back to each other, talking out your problems from before

you personally felt like your work improved as well

wendy had become your muse

you sought to create tracks that would impress her

or that would be worthy of having her voice in it

and you felt like it was easier to write lyrics

because every experience with wendy created new feelings

feelings that you could hardly describe sometimes

when you guys decided to finally start working on your second collaboration you busted out the drafts you created long ago

wendy was impressed after sitting down and listening to your drafts

'woah, how many hidden gems do you have on your computer?'

'well, these ones in particular i made on the same day. the day after i confessed to you.'

you're both flustered

because it's easy to tell the kind of state you were in by the songs

wendy takes your hand and kisses it gently as your music continued to play

'you must think of me pretty highly, if the thought of me compelled you to make something so incredible'

you heat up at her cheesiness

'oh stop it.'

the two of you end up choosing a refreshing feeling/sound for the album

'cause you recharge me every time i see you!' she says

when you guys are almost done producing the album, that was when you went on the dinner date with wendy

the one where you guys would finally confess to the world

after recording and uploading the announcement video the both of you decided to turn off your notifications and avoid reading people's reactions

instead you guys opted to spend the rest of the day baking and then watching a movie together

the both of you decided that it would be stressful to engage with your audience right away, and that's why it took a full day for you both to check your phones again

both seulgi and yeri already knew about your relationship but they both flooded you guys with congratulations anyways

they just wanted you to know they were proud of your bravery!

besides them, both of your families already knew and didn't comment much

they'd already stated how they think you're good for each other when you guys had visited together

especially your younger cousin

cause apparently she's a big fan of wendy and is definitely not using you as a way to get close to her idol

and is definitely not bragging about her how cousin is 'super super cool and famous and is dating another famous person and i think they'll be rich someday!!! so get on my nice side!'

you're happy to see that a lot of fans are happy for your relationship

wendy just keeps telling you 'of course they are, who wouldn't for a cute ass couple like us?'

it was at that point that you guys had decided to save up and move into a nice place together

you guys had talked about future plans before

not only that, but you had been practically living together already

between all the dates that lead to seemingly indefinite sleepovers

and the recent collaboration that made you guys be stuck together

it was really you guys living at each other's place weeks at a time

when you guys move in you're grateful

because you get to experience all the little things from her even more

some nights when you're stressed she rubs circles on your back to help you sleep

when you guys shower together she takes her time to carefully wash your hair

it was those deeply intimate moments that made you the happiest

both of your careers were doing really well due to the reception of your second collab and all the media fuss that happened with your dating annoucement

you both still have solo careers and interact with other musicians

but along with moving in, you guys decided to become a duo and consistently create music together

in the morning when you share breakfast you always remind her how good life is and how thankful you are

[asherlockstudy]

Uncomfortable close-up to their Valentine Newlywed answers

Since Rhett was a tad reluctant to compliment Link sincerely I decided to use my psychoanalytical skills (anyway whatever) and seek the underlying honest answers they wanted to give. This could be a bit much at times and perhaps you shouldn't read if you are not a Rhink shipper, that's why I used a cut.

"What he loves about me" Link's expression is a little confusing - maybe an attempt at doubt or self-deprecation but it looks to me more like the embarrassment of the blushing bride.

"I love your..."

Who wants to bet that the first thing that came to Rhett's mind was ass but then he changed it to the first word that came to his mind after ass? A-ccent. Like, there's just no case accent was the first thing he thought because Link's accent isn't even that strong at this point. When Link got surprised at that, Rhett simply replied that he was trying to find something funny. But even so, like I said earlier, Rhett does love Link's accent. I am sure he is fond of it, he finds it adorable. And let's not forget he said "there was so much he could choose from"!

Link looks disappointed that it's not his guess, his eyes. An interesting thing here is that although he used a personality trait for Rhett, he expected / hoped for this physical trait for himself. But don't feel sorry - Rhett has talked about his baby blues and has even gone to the ridiculous extents of planning to make a blog exclusively for Link's eyes. So don't worry; it is known that Rhett at least acknowledges the beauty of Link's eyes. At least. And Link was expecting this from a place of knowledge and not as an attempt to be silly-sappy.

Things Rhett thinks Link loves about him:

voice (Link will later say he loves his laugh and this is close, he's also enchanted every time Rhett sings so...)

height (Link once said he is attracted to "people of extreme heights")

hair (we know that)

beard (lie detector test)

giving spirit (lol totally)

creativity (they've talked about this many times)

eyebrows (if Link has said he likes Rhett's eyelashes then liking his eyebrows is certain)

Rhett was guessing from a place of knowledge too.

Rhett then said he loves stories of Link's grandma doing weird things with him and I don't like being the weirdo to spell out the weird thing but Rhett's interest in that is vaguely associated to his weird mind being always in the gutter. I don't mean it turns him on of course but he loves hearing weird stuff that border on creepy. You know it's true. Sometimes he's like that. Link took revenge for the accent joke with the psoriasis.

Wow we saw some Rhett teeth. Link answered sincerely with a super cute "I love your laugh" but Rhett just said "I love the sound your mouth makes when you don't chew". Oh well. Link regretted being sincere and Rhett, after some good laughter, defended himself by saying "he (Link) walked himself into it". This makes exactly zero sense and I am wondering whether he meant Link walked himself into it by choosing the vulnerable / sincere way. Or if he just didn't know what he was talking about.

Rhett then asks for the next answer to be complimentary. He then repeats he has strong feelings about Link's accent. Again, I believe this! In a positive light. IDK, I do believe this. Link said he has strong positive feelings for Rhett's car which I found weird like Rhett because I thought it was established Link has the better car of the two. Who knows, maybe he lied about the positive thing. Unless he connects it in his mind with memories / experiences.

Link's guess a little later:

Link: If I wanted to, I could easily... start over.

Rhett: Start over?! Like, whole life?

L: ...Yeah, just like, get a re-do.

R: Huh.

L: And I would be like "Really? How?"

R: Mmkay. I said "If you wanted to, you could easily kill me".

Okay, this gets a little deeper. I think what initially Link meant was a joke about starting over regarding his relationship with Rhett. Rhett didn't get that and asked him if he meant his whole life. Link considered that "mmyeah..." and realised it wasn't that far off from what he meant, all jokes aside. Link does wish he could start over and redo many things in his life. This surely has A LOT to do with their religious upbringing. And maybe how it affected Link's choices. Stevie's laughter is so out of place sometimes. Rhett does not laugh and tries to rush this moment. Rhett's answer about Link killing him is not exactly weird or offensive or mean as I saw some people consider it. It shows, maybe subconsiously, several things; Link's intensity, Rhett's pliable nature especially to Link and it might be more indicative of how Rhett feels about Link than anything else, at least in this video.

And then, out of nowhere, or maybe so it seems to us, Rhett goes ballistic against everyone. He starts complaining about those complaining when they didn't give each other heartfelt compliments. Link joked he agrees with them. Rhett attempted to let this slip although it angered him. The crew laughed with Link's joke, meaning they kinda sided with him, and Rhett turned basically mad at Link.

He accused Link that he did the same that day and Link entirely deflected the conversation. All I'm gonna say is that don't think they don't communicate with each other about how they approach certain situations. I wonder if at times they misunderstand each other or one changes opinion suddenly and leaves the other hanging. Link tries to stop Rhett from going on but Rhett is unstoppable at this point.

You might say Rhett was straight out mean right there and I sure was like "whoa where did this all come from, man" but mean is not a reasonable explanation. He was angry and his words show he is in a pressured state. Unless you tend to have mood swings, which Rhett doesn't really have as far as I know, you don't go from all cutesy and mischievous to furious in milliseconds. Except if there is an underlying suppressed cause. And you may ask, okay does he feel pressured to say a compliment to Link? Is this such a big deal? Well, yes and no. I don't think Rhett meant "we're not gonna hold hands" or "compliment each other" when we ask it. I think we know what he means. I think he's talking about the - well, in his words - elephant in the room. The actually serious consideration that there is something more there. The expectation that it might get revealed at any point - whether intentionally or unintentionally. Rhett loses control at that moment, which is why Link, who knows him well, warns him to not go there but Rhett still does. And again, you might say: well, no fan asked them to kiss or to confirm anything! We asked them simple stuff that can be normal between platonic friends too. Yes, but there is something we don't take often into account. The mythical crew. The mythical crew are actually the ones who monitor closely what the fans believe, want and prefer to watch. This means that the crew has to inform and discuss with Rhett and Link how much they are gonna please the audience and in what ways. Which means that a crew of 50+ people have an elaborate opinion on what fans think of Rhett and Link's relationship (next to their own opinion of course) and this has to be communicated with them face to face. In short, Rhett and Link have their privacy invaded not only by the fans but by their employees and, moreover, they are forced to always have fun with it and take it lightly. Again, you could think: well, they could forbid any rhink reference to the crew from now on. And you would think this WOULDN'T make the crew MORE suspicious at this point? All I am saying, they are fine when they make rhink insinuations / jokes voluntarily but most of the time is forced upon them by both the fans and employees and this can be uncomfortable at best if they are just friends or tyrannical if there is something more there that they still keep for themselves. So, Rhett's frustration comes from a deeper place than being expected to give a compliment. If I were in their place as I imagine it (I could always be entirely wrong) I would feel like a muppet trying to balance all my reactions towards thousands of people, with several dozens of them being paid by me to scrutinize me and order me how exactly to act!

There is a cut following Rhett's vent and you can see that Rhett is trying to calm himself down.

He speaks to himself, mumbling "yeah alright yeah ok ok" and by the expressions I can tell he acknowledges he lost control. That doesn't mean he regretted what he said - just that he said more than it benefits him to say and apparently he said a lot more in the unedited video. Kudos then to Link, who actively tries to calm his friend down and make him feel more comfortable.

This might be unpleasant to some but from his stance I conclude that Link agrees with Rhett or at least understands him. He was just wise enough to not say it out loud. Link first warned Rhett to not speak and then stayed quiet as Rhett was venting. After the cut, we see him trying to help Rhett calm down and relax and he characteristically invites Rhett to focus his attention on him and find something he really loves about him. This is not a complaint - Link is smiling and is warm to Rhett. What he essentially does is trying to help Rhett forget he is being watched by thousands and his every word is weighted, which of course is Rhett's main problem. He just says "forget about them and focus on me and just say something you love, it's all good". I just love Link here. He's supportive and caring.

The next question is what Link loves when Rhett blanks his blank and Rhett is trying to picture it-

I have no doubt Link loves that. The ear thumbing, I mean.

So, then I am adding the stills that redeemed Rhett in the fandom:

But not to be that person, it's obvious that Rhett plays it up a ridiculous lot. And not even to appease the angry fans but probably to make fun of their anger. That's why Link laughs with his face and his answer "I love remembering the time we met".

This doesn't interest me at all. Instead, I am much more interested in Link's nonsensical answer "I love remembering the time we died" because what?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Link tends to say occasionally stuff that doesn't make sense but I don't think he would pass on the chance to say something even remotely meaningful in an opportunity like this and especially regarding his relationship with Rhett. Link clarifies: "...when we died. This is heaven". There are two possibilities and only two: a) this makes ZERO sense and it's the worst and most pointless joke ever and b) this is symbolic or something only Rhett could understand. Rhett does not dismiss this as stupid or silly with his usual done look. He asks questions about it and they discuss at length about how it happened that they died and why they went to heaven since it seems they killed each other. Well, it's because they killed each other in the exact same time with a prod-like tool and they escaped Good Ol' God's (in Link's words) notice. Okay. I'm just leaving this here and you can all draw your own conclusions. Personally, I am torn between a symbolical death and rebirth when they left their religious selves behind and death being used as a well known old metaphor of a certain physical state. It would work even more if it was both. Or Link was just talking nonsense. Let's not exclude that. So yeah. That's all I had to say................

[milk-addicc]

I really liked that post you made about how Capcom feels about Narumitsu. And I'm wondering how do you think they feel about Narumayo? Personally to me it feels like they throw more hints at Narumitsu since with the other one if Takami wanted it to be canon he would of done it at the end of T&T. I also think the team could of made it more obvious in SoJ with Maya's big return but I never really saw the hints but I know I'm biased lol.

oh i’m glad you like my rambles haha;;

ahh... that ship, 

well first, about the whole Takumi “wanting narumitsu to be canon” thing, its not exactly making them canon but have more fanservice leaning heavy towards narumitsu (which was declined by the director(?) who claimed, i sorta agree with, that the game did well even without the narumitsu hinting since in the first game they didn’t have that intention and it was pure coincidence that their relationship was just THAT deep and meaningful which is incredible lmao, Takumi and co managed to slip his warning and still put at least some of the hints in TT tho hhh-). so even then, i doubt the crew actually want the endgame to come so soon hh.

okay, back on topic. what i think about naru//mayo? yea, i’m not keen on that ship personally at all, actually i despise it. like, they first met in the office, in front of their dead loved one, Mia. Maya was 17, Phoenix was 24. you have Maya, who’s supposedly still in HIGH SCHOOL and Phoenix, who has GRADUATED COLLEGE, has a JOB, and most likely has PAID HIS OWN BILLS. from that point alone, it should already feel weird. 

Maya’s an adolescence, a teenager, she just lost her sister and barely grew up, in a way she’s still innocent, notice how she tend to ask random questions and or say things that she thinks makes sense or amusing, she tends to be naive too. its kinda like.. a child.

and Phoenix on the other hand, is a grown man. heck even Maya says he’s an “old fart”, they’re legit aware of their own age gap in game and outright say it. if anything, they both act like self-aware best friends/brother-sister than romantically. even Maya said it herself, she wants to be a good big sister for Pearl and Nick.

now how about we ignore this obvious fact just for a little while and try to see it from only their interactions in-franchise. heres the kicker, you may not see it in game since they only lightly nudges about this ship (usually with Pearl, and was dismissed by Maya right after.), but in some of AA spin off mangas (and from what i heard, one of the stage shows), for some reason, this ship has their own hints despite being completely aware that Maya is a teenager.

but its okay now don’t hold your breaths, 

their “hints” are more of a one-off ish thing, most of the time a gag and not taken seriously, and unlike other ship per say narumitsu, where it actually affects their lives and changed it forever IN-GAME. “i care about Maya and understands her” and “i became an attorney because of you, Edgeworth and i don’t have any regrets” are both literally incomparable, especially given Phoenix and Edgeworth’s history together in-game canon.

anyway, here’s some common arguments i’ve encountered about this particular ship :

“but Phoenix cares about Maya a lot! he literally went through a trial against a hitman and run through a burning bridge for her!”

“Phoenix blushed and goes red when Pearl says he’s Maya’s special someone and he stutters!”

“Well my parents had a huge age gap!"

“well, Maya is 18 in AA2″

“considering Maya is a christmas cake now, Nick better tap that” 

“she’s an adult in AA6 tho”

now lets dissect each of these,

yes, Phoenix cares about Maya a lot he literally did cross a burning bridge for her but people seem to forget that this is the same man who turned his life around, abandon his dreams, study law for four years, and became an attorney to meet one man and willing to defend a girl who looks like his psychotic ex that nearly poisoned him in court. he literally would believe in his clients’s innocence no matter what, he’s by nature would sacrifice anything and even his life for someone. so its normal that he cares about Maya, but is it romantic? i doubt it, he cares about her safety and well being but does it have to be a romantic hint? no, of course not, he’s just very selfless for the people he cares about and Maya has no one to help her but Nick when she’s in trouble, he’s one of few adults she can trust and will help her out.

oh so blushing and stuttering due to embarrassment means having feelings now? and about the stuttering, he literally stutters around Edgeworth a lot lol. i’m starting to feel like people ships naru//mayo not because of their depth but because Pearl said so. Pearl finds them should be together and keep shoving the audience with Nick being “Mystic Maya’s special someone”, well if thats the case, they also explained why this happened, in-game. Pearl grew up very sheltered and among unhealthy marriages she just assumes a girl and a boy together means they’re dating and being “special someones”. she most likely just wants her cousin to be in a happy relationship unlike her parents where her father left both her and her mother but didn’t know any better because she was eight years old.

https://youtu.be/FGAqQkMEKNs?start=674&end=776

now about the parent thing and taking it personal, well my parents too had a huge age-gap of 7 years. but how come is it okay? its because they met when my mum was already a career woman at 26. she’s already an adult when my dad met her. what does this mean? it means my parents were both adults when they’re together, this is why i still like GumMaggey despite their age gap so wide, they first met when Maggey has already had a career, supposedly in her 20′s, she’s a young adult, she can buy alcohol by herself, already knows whats right and wrong and has live life independently, not a still hormonal teenager who depends on one adult figure. did your parents date when your mum is in highschool while your dad is like in his mid 20′s? sorry to hear that.

as for the last three arguments, i don’t even want to touch any of them with a five-foot pole. are you listening to yourself? do you not feel like you’re a creep typing that?

let me give you a benefit of the doubt. yes she’s older and legally an adult, but are you really discrediting the fact they met when Maya was still in highschool? they met and became friends when she’s 17 and he’s 24. sure they barely met during disbarment era, but should that change anything? why should it? how should it? like this?

“Oh this is Maya, i haven’t met her in years but boy she sure has grown up can’t wait to date her since she’s legal now.”

because thats what that argument sounds like, YIKES. 

you know? if they met under a different circumstance and Maya was like 19, i’d let it go. but they didn’t, they met because of a horrible loss, Maya, still in training, 17 lost her big sister and Phoenix, a rookie, at 24 lost his mentor. 

in conclusion, i don’t like naru//mayo at all

pairing them feels like pairing Edgeworth with Kay or Phoenix with Ema, just because they partnered in investigations, make playful jabs at each other, and saved each others’s lives before, people just think they like each other romantically despite their age-gap in first meetings (not to mention Kay sees Edgeworth as somewhat of a father figure, and she’s nearly 18 while Edgeworth is the same age as Phoenix). especially with how Maya, being a zoomer, calls Phoenix an “old fart” and just makes jokes about how so out-of-touch Phoenix is with the modern entertainment.

from observations, i have a huge hunch that almost all of them pair these two because :

1. Maya’s a girl protagonist so its a male protagonist x female protagonist type of deal and despise narumitsu because “yaoi”

2. AA6 she’s an adult so she’s legal which is damn creepy on its own, or last

3. because of Pearl shipping them in game despite being an eight year old and was so sheltered she thought a man and a woman being next to each other means they’re special someones.

either way, i only see them as best friends, sibling-like relationship with self awareness here and there since they tease the audience a lot with their gag “hints” in spin-off mangas and game. 

not only that, it kinda showcase how all male/female bond don’t have to be romantic, they can be just friends or familial and still hang together. another plus for the franchise right after encouraging moving on from ex partners. *glancing at Phoenix//Iris*

and as to the people who pairs this for some odd reasons, sometimes i just want to ask these questions,

“how would you feel if you’re in Phoenix’s shoes? met your mentor’s little sister at age 17 while you’re 24, would you feel romantically interested in this high schooler?” because i don’t, to me anyone 3 years younger than me is like a baby, how would Phoenix feel when Maya’s 7 years younger?

“also... why even? narumitsu and other less questionable pairings are RIGHT THERE in the open!”

but oh well people can like and pair whatever hhh, 

and there you have it, my even longer rambling hahaha sorry;;

Edit : To add the final nail to the coffin, Phoenix outright has said that Maya’s like his kid, like a niece.

Edit 2 : remember that this is simply my personal take, you can somewhat use this to make yourself feel better about your pair nor simply just to hate on the ship itself but do not use this to dictate actual people what to ship and not to ship. 

please don’t be destructive towards others.

[onelungmcclung]

Any Speirgott HC's you'd like to share or discuss? :) I'm dying for content.

f i n a l l y

if only you had found me back in my original stint in this fandom when I was thinking about them daily. it’s a great ship, you’re so right. (we don’t like to use the word hyperfixation around here, but I sometimes wonder if this one’s in my future.) do feel free to dm me, if that suits you.

I’m just gonna go all out on my Thoughts and you can do what you want with whatever, you know? 

it’s just such an interesting dynamic. the whole “self recognition through the other” vibe, and a slight undercurrent of outsiderhood (though differently experienced). the tension between the mutual recognition of each other as equals (on a personal level) vs the hierarchies and protocols of rank. there is such synchronicity between them when they are clearing the house and liebgott is translating for speirs, which doesn’t occur in their interactions with other characters, even where there are friendships. the undercurrent of humour between them in speirs’s hey liebgott, you want to sit this one out? is small but quite striking.

speirs is able to compartmentalise his emotions and fears whereas liebgott doesn’t; liebgott brings everything into his fight, love and anger and family and history; he is fighting for his people to a greater extent than anyone else in the company. they share a ruthless attitude towards combat and they both adapt relatively well to the environment of war. liebgott, I think, is likely to have a delayed reaction to the horrors he has seen. (he does break down in the camp, but it’s very brief, both because his priority is the wellbeing of the prisoners and because his grief is too raw and personal to display openly in front of the entire company.)

liebgott knows he’s seen a little as an outsider, as the only jewish man in the company, and he’s proud of that identity but he doesn’t talk to anyone about what it means to him; it’s a very personal part of himself, and we only see that vulnerability in the camp. speirs accepts, even welcomes, being seen as an outsider; there’s a value to being feared by one’s men. he references roman history, and so I think it’s nerdy relevant to mention that the latin word vereor means both respect and fear; that is a philosophy he embraces. liebgott does respect him, more quickly than he respects other superiors, and he does, upon occasion, show a degree of fear – namely in the pistol whipping scene – which is unusual for him. that scene is also interesting in that liebgott is the only one who keeps his eyes on speirs the entire time, unlike the others who draw back slightly. (this is in fact the scene where I first started to ship it. a lot.)

they both keep certain things back: liebgott doesn’t show vulnerability if he can avoid it; speirs represses the emotions he can’t wholly compartmentalise. there’s a desire, I think, an instinct, to trust each other, and a reluctance: a tension between letting their guard down vs keeping their distance. they secondguess themselves rather than each other. liebgott is a pretty shrewd observer of other people; speirs, I think, finds interpersonal dynamics a little harder to gauge precisely.

they’re both deeply protective of the people around them: liebgott with tipper, tab, alley, the jewish prisoners; speirs with grant. neither of them default towards gentleness but they’re both capable of great compassion when others need it.

I don’t know if I have many headcanons as such. I think speirs sends liebgott to interrogate/kill the commandant because he trusts liebgott, in this more than anyone else, and because he believes it’s a mission liebgott would want. (speirs has… idiosyncratic ideas about being nice, lol; just ask blithe.)

I think they probably never interacted directly before speirs took over easy company, or certainly not pre-normandy, though they may have been aware of each other. I don’t think liebgott ever cared about the rumours; he had no qualms about speirs killing the german prisoners and, if he was at all disturbed by the rumour about speirs shooting his sergeant, he wouldn’t have shown it. however, they did probably cross paths on the night of the bayonet, when lieb rushed in to help tab and speirs went to investigate the disturbance, and so speirs identifies liebgott as someone who is good in a crisis.

I think speirs much prefers working with liebgott as translator than with webster, in that liebgott is faster and more colloquial but – just as importantly – they fall fluidly into a rapport when working together. on some level, speirs is glad to pull liebgott off the patrol in haguenau; he doesn’t want to lose anyone in the company, but particularly not liebgott.

(I’m not fluent in german but listening to webster’s gives me secondhand embarrassment)

in general I don’t have sexuality headcanons re. any of the characters; but when I write speirgott, my feeling is that this is the first time liebgott has been consciously attracted to men. I don’t think this causes an identity crisis for him; the circumstances of war are too extreme and speirs is, in many ways, an exception to normal rules. pursuing a relationship beyond what is allowed is fraught with difficulty, because of the high stakes and the obstacles of rank and the background of homophobia; I don’t think internalised homophobia is a particular factor. I don’t think it is the first time speirs has been attracted to men, but that does not make the situation simpler. they are all just trying to stay alive and keep the others alive; acting on their attraction may somehow jeopardise that, but also they may never have another chance. their relationship is on a knife-edge at all times: between personal and impersonal, hierarchical and equals, vulnerability and guardedness, secrecy and discovery, life and death.

speirgott has the best potential for all the most gripping AUs, I will stand by that

… anyway, I know I should write more for them – slightly longer fics, I hope – and it’s my tragedy that I seem to have very little control over whatever I next write, but I am extremely glad to know there’s an audience for this ship. I hope I come through for you. 

ps. I am entirely up for bouncing ideas/headcanons/plot bunnies around.