#sometimes I find stuff I wrote a long time ago and look... it was great

[einaudis]

.

[justanamesstuff]

I really want to start reading more fics here what/who do you recommend

Oh, this is going to be LONG haha...i don't usually do this because literally everyone here is amazing and this kinda stuff is very subjective. I'll tell you MY opinion and likes...someone can disagree and also I might forget someone (not on porpoise of course). Just to clarify :)))

Okay, recommendations:

First long fic I read here was 'Ruins' by @yourtouchismidas I still sometimes remember that time, how I waited for every single one of the chapters and all the feelings I went through its something tattooed on my heart <3

EVERYTHING and I literally mean everything @lottiecrabie writes is purely amazing. 'Pray for my soul' is something I adore with my entire heart (because I relate to it haha) and 'Galatea, take one' deserves to be in a museum...just to give you some examples.

If you're into George fics (reader x George Daniel) YOU HAVE TO READ 'I guess I’ll take this pain, instead of your name' @heyidkyay . She was also one of the first writers I found around the fandom so check the rest of the fics too but the George one has my entire heart!!

My bestie @thefrontofmymind is also one of my first findings, and I instantly fell in love with her writing. Absolutely ALL OF HER FICS are incredible!! She's a series called 'Might As Well' I'm absolutely obsessed with and wait (im)patiently for every upload haha

Recently I finished reading 'Nothing Revealed In A Common Crisis' written by @imagine-that-100 MASTERPIECE!! She also wrote 'Chicken Shop Date' with @alovesreading another first fic I read in one sitting haha

@beeninlovewithherforages is a very recent find (and amazing mutual)...check her blurbs that are mind-blowing but pleaseee 'your favorite girl' is everything you need in your life!!

Every single one of @toomuchracket 's works deserves all your time and attention (I still can't believe she's a mutual 🤭🤭)

If you're into OCs please check @because-she-goes matty x oc!nore those two are the definitely power couple!!

@abiiors the Queen of blurbs and killing my soul with 'haunt // bed' that one will be a forever favourite!!!

'I'll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands)' by @automaticllamacycle is simply perfection!! the rest of her work as well ♥♥

One of my first mutuals here @soil-just-needs-water-to-be writes the cutest and most amazing George x Matty fic so GO AND READ IT!!! Those two are going to melt my heart but they are everything <33

What can I tell you about my adorable @tillthelandslide ? One, she's the most amazing person I met...Two, amazing writing is short, i need better words really! She writes a series I love, adore, obsessed about, everything called 'Insufferable Arsehole' and all of her works are incredible!!

The Record shop by @uramilf 🙌🙌🙌 a forever favourite!!! and if you need Ross, George, even Matty too fics...she's your writer!

All of @healyswhore I love with my life...always warming my heart with her cuteness 💖

@heralldaylong days ago upload her first fic so go and suport because that's one of the BEST blurbs I've read in all my time here!!

My sweet @insidemymind19 all of her works...but check her instagram aus that are sooooo good! (send her ideas too haha)

@64yrsold another writer I admire here...I need to keep reading her new fic but I've only heard great words about it (and a lot of feelings haha)

@sheswayyout milk is a must read!!!

'Then Because She Goes' by @3terna15unshin3 i haven't read it yet...but it's in my list, because that fics looks so promising!!!

@definedbydaylight has an instagram au fic and a series both Matty x reader *chef's kiss*

All of @the1975attheirverybest fics gave me A LOT of support and reassurance during hard times...and also, not reading related but she created an amazing place to chat here (fuck u to all of the haters) so if you need/want a place to chat about other stuff definitely go there!!

'Does she take care of you or could I easily fill her shoes?' by @dontfall-inlove-withthe-moment pain...but amazing perfection!!

'Petrichor' by the amaaaazing @cryley is on my list too...one of the sweetes mutuals here so absolutely rec!

@cowboylor works are another must...I can't write my thoughts about them because not appropriated but 🥵🥵🥵 I still think about a pair of them constantly haha

I feel im repeating words, but trully EVEEEEERYTHING @justlikemebutsixfootthree wrote its something you NEED you MUST read!!

Andddd I will end with a last recommendation, with one writer I admire with all my heart and fell in love with 'love it if we made it' universe since the first time my eyes read all the beautiful parts she wrote...so read @imightgetbetter works, i beg you!!!!

Hope this helps haha...If i remember any other fic/writer I'll add it to this. To anyone that I forget to add know that the only reason behind is my bad slept mind not remembering names and stuff 😅😅 I repeat anon, the writing level this fandom has is absolutely magnificent so any work you find would be a great option to start reading :)))

[sataara]

Sibling Energy

"Ingo and Emmet talk after he explains where he was for the last few years"

Hello again! This is a small one shot that I wrote a long time ago and only now edited and cleaned it up so I could post it 😅

The bootleg merch mention comes from a convo that happened at @evtraininguniversity 's tumblr, here's a part of it but there was a lot more talked about at the time!!! Also go read Ev's stuff if you haven't already, she's great!!!

Either way, enjoy!!!

“Ok. Let me see if I got it. You still don’t know exactly how, but you were thrown in the past.”

“Correct.”

“Of another region entirely.”

“Right again.”

“Somehow you lost your memories in the way there.”

“Hm hm.”

“So you lived there, until a random kid brought Arceus to you and he gave you your memory back.”

“Yup.”

“And then, with your memory back, you asked to be sent back here after saying your goodbyes.”

“You are a very good listener, Emmet.”

“Shut the fuck up, this is the most bizarre thing you’ve ever told me and yet I have no better explanation. I could say that the old timey clothes you got in a museum or from reenactors, the destruction to your uniform from living in the wild for years, but how the fuck else would you get those extinct pokémon?”

“Guess you’ll have to believe me, then, asshole.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to, but you are talking about fucking Arceus, over here.”

“I guess that is fair, I had the same reaction before seeing the supposed creator with my own eyes.”

“Calling him “supposed” wouldn’t be heresy, then?”

“I fought him and won, I don’t care.”

“You fought him without me?!”

“I knew you would say that, so technically they owe me for the mess they put me through, I didn’t want to go to Hisui but apparently I had to, because technically that had already happened? Something about time paradoxes. Regardless, their influence made sure that no one connected my image in the history books with Subway Boss Ingo, so no one would alert you or try to get me back before I was supposed to return. I didn’t choose any of that, though, so after winning I got them to agree to fight you too, next time we played the Azure Flute in Spear Pillar.”

Emmet punched the air in excitement. He had the look he always did when going through strategies on his head, until a thought made him get back on track.

“Right, so, assuming you really did spend these last three years in ancient Sinnoh,” Ingo huffs in amusement at his brother persistent disbelief, “does that mean you know why they don’t have a rail system?”

That grabs his attention and suddenly he is furious.

“Professor Laventon kept making incredible remarks about trains and how helpful they are, I added my own agreement and yet! The construction corps were so prideful! They didn’t want to look into the system to see if they could adopt it as well! They kept saying that those “metal beasts” could not be safe!” His hands in constant movement, following his rage. “And now, the kid that helped me, told me that they have been starting construction in Jubilife City and that Sinnoh now regrets how long it took to adopt the rail system!”

“Oh, I did hear news of that a few years ago, I had bigger worries then.”

That gave Ingo’s rage pause.

“I’m sorry, Emmet, I wish-“

“Nope! Can’t change the past, it is what it is, do not go down those tracks.”

“Did your therapist tell you that?”

“More like he drilled it into my head.”

“I’m happy to hear it.”

“We can talk about me later. Don’t give me that look, I know I can’t avoid your older brother tendencies forever. But, that is why you want to go back there, then? You want to supervise the construction?”

“I don’t want to go back exactly, I want to give them our expertise on the subject, we might not have started the subway and train systems in Unova but we did expand on it. I also can not say I told you so to Kamado, so I want to do that to the closest descendent of his that I can find.”

“You are such a petty bitch sometimes.”

“Go fuck yourself, Emmet.”

Despite the jabs, that were all friendly at the end of the day, Ingo loved listening to his brother snickering laugh. Oh, how he missed his favorite problem while walking through the vast expanse of Hisui.

"Oh, and before I forget, I did get something in Hisui that reminded me of you." He leaned over the arm of the couch to reach the basket he had brought with him. "Emmet, I want you to meet Impostermet. I hope you two will play nicely."

Emmet left a bark of a laugh, he couldn't believe that, depite being stuck in the past, his brother was still able to find their bootleg merch.

"Impostergo is a part of a set now! I can not believe you, Ingo!"

"Since we're already on the subject, you didn't burn The Blanket, did you?"

"I think Crustle found it in a day he was very mad and it became rags, sadly, you can find my teeth around the house, I use it to clean."

"That's a terrifying sentence Emmet."

"You have no one to blame but yourself. I never told you to buy that fucking monstrosity in the first place."

"Oh, how terrible my brother is, I buy a gift of his likeness to bestow upon him and that's how he thanks me."

"If I wasn't so happy to have you back I would fucking kill you right now."

"As if you ever could, I'm the bigger twin after all."

"We're identical, you fuck!"

And that's how they ended up wrestling on the floor of their living room, Ingo having his brother in a headlock while Emmet kicked and refused to surrender. Eelektross glared at his trainer and his brother's antics, before giving a slight shock to the pile of squirming limbs, making them release each other with pained yelps.

"Eelektross is right, we have far more important things to do."

"Eelektross is always right! He is the best boy! We need to go to a police station and then do a looooot of paperwork to prove you're alive and to get you your job back."

"Maybe I should have stayed in Hisui."

"Oh no, you're not running away from the paperwork!"

"I think I can hear Sneasler calling me, Emmet, I have to go."

"Come back here, Ingo!"

"Well, who arrives first at the station is free from paperwork!"

"You're already at the door, that's not fair! Ingo! Ingo, stop!"

The twins should be thankful that their pokemon were as intelligent as they were, Chandelure stopped the siblings using psychic, while bringing them back to get their pokeballs and properly lock the door, before they actually teared down the streets, throwing quips at each other and laughing until they were red in the face. They tied at the end, as Emmet saw Ingo was about to win, and decided to tackle his brother inside the station, making them end up crossing the threshold at the same time. Ingo could only wheeze as his brother fell on top of him and crushed all of his precious organs, only moving when the depot agents came over, helping them stand up and properly welcoming back the siblings to their home, finally together once more.

[mal-urameshi]

Jealous Shuri or Riri

I gotchu covered.

Warnings: Angst, baby!!!! Let's goooo!!!

“You’re absolutely beautiful. When you smile at me, sometimes I feel like I’m about to pass out. Your intelligence is very admirable. There is nobody else like you and I hope you know that. Your kindness enhances your aura, Riri. Your selflessness knows no bounds and I can’t help but compare myself to you. How can I be great like her? I find myself asking. Because she’s perfect in every way possible. Sorry about the rambling. What I wrote in this envelope is more concise, but I had to tell you how I feel. I really like you, Riri. More than anybody else. Will you go out with me?”

Riri awkwardly stood in front of the boy as he laid his heart bare to her. She tried to maintain eye-contact with him throughout his confession out of respect, but she couldn’t help her facial expressions. Bast, hopefully they didn’t come across as rude.

Honestly, when he called her to a secluded part of the school after the last bell rang, where it would be just the two of them, she was half-expecting him to bribe her to do his homework or something since he mentioned he was having a hard time in passing. But a love confession was completely off her radar.

The boy, Sipho, had an optimistic countenance as he had a purple envelope in hand, sealed with a yellow heart-shaped sticker. Along with the envelope, he had a bouquet of Lily of the Nile, and a small gift basket that contained, from what Riri could see, chocolate and some cookies.

Bast. Riri felt like absolute shit about what she was about to do. Sipho was a nice boy. He wasn’t ugly or anything. He was well-mannered and funny. He just….wasn’t her type. 

“Sipho, look. I appreciate the thought you put into this. Because just looking at all of this,” She gestured to everything he was holding, “You put a lot of heart into it. You really did your thing.”

Riri screwed her eyes shut, feeling like complete and utter crap.

“But I like girls. So it won’t ever work out. I’m sorry.”

Sipho visibly deflated, “Only girls? Not both girls and guys?”

Riri silently shook her head, “Sorry, Sipho. You’re a really nice dude. You’d make a really good boyfriend for a really lucky girl. The girl just ain’t me.”

Sipho silently nodded, “I understand.” He walked up to Riri and handed her the gifts.

“Wait, no, no. I just rejected you. I can’t accept this stuff.”

Sipho shook his head, “No, I insist. They were intended for you anyway. So take it. I’m not angry or anything, don’t worry.” He gave a sullen smile.

Riri silently nodded her head, “Thanks. I’m sure the cookies are nice.”

“Yea. My Umama’s secret recipe. But I gotta go now. Take care, Riri.” Sipho said before he walked off.

Riri looked at the gift basket full of snacks; she could share these with Shuri! 

Riri kneeled down to place the stuff in her bag. The envelope caught her attention. Curious, she ripped it open, but before she could read its contents, her beads pinged. Riri dropped the card in her bag and zipped it up.

“Hey, Shuri!” She smiled and stood back up.

“Hi, Riri! Are you still coming over?”

“For sure! I just got caught up with something.”

“Okay, great! The meeting got canceled so you can come straight here.”

“Alright, no biggie. I’ll be at the Citadel in a bit.”

When Riri arrived, Shuri was already at the entrance waiting for her.

“Yo!” Riri greeted.

“Finally! We talked like…almost half an hour ago. What took you so long?” Shuri fell into step with Riri as she walked down the hall.

“I was enjoying the views. Talking to people here and there. Hugging trees. Just enjoying existence, you know?”

Shuri nodded, “Are you adopting the ways of the hippy now?”

“Uh, no. Never.” She laughed.

They both found themselves in Shuri’s room. Riri had immediately gone to the mini-fridge to get herself and Shuri something to drink. Riri flopped herself on a vacant beanbag while sipping on a juice pouch and Shuri hung over her bed, doing the same.

“I have this assignment that’s due for Miss Anagonye. I mean, I already started it and it’s almost done, but ugh, that lady is so picky. I had to change it up like 4 different times because she kept adding shit to the outline. I swear, why doesn’t the school make her retire?”

Shuri sucked on her pouch, “Maybe it is because she is such a legend, having made a lot of contributions to the modern…moderner? Advancements of Wakanda. Plus you know how elders are, always picky with everything.”

“That lady is a dinosaur regardless. She’s probably as old as your ancestor, Bashenga. She’s practically stardust.” Riri snickered.

“You’re so bad, Riri. Academia is her calling.”

“Nah, a grave is calling her.” Riri dodged a pillow that was hurled her way by Shuri.

“Anywaaaaay, what did you do today?”

Shuri sucked on her juice, “I was excited for most of the day because I had my presentations ready for the improvements to the design group. And T’Challa was giving me affirmations and encouragement that I am most definitely ready to take on full responsibility for research and technological advancements of Wakanda.”

Shuri blew a raspberry, “But it was pushed back because the elders wanted to have a council meeting again with my Father, Mother, and T’Challa to make sure that a child is ready to fill such big shoes.”

“Man, this is why old people are still teaching at the school, bruh. Those oldheads just dunno when to let go. I think it’s cuz they ain’t got no purpose in life after they retire. Like yo…you ain’t gotta worry bout making ends meet regardless. What’s the big deal? Us young people are super capable. But again, just cuz they old and have some wisdom they think they know everything.”

“You just have it out for the elders today, eh?” Shuri laughed.

“I’m telling you. I’m gonna do a dance for joy when Miss Anagonye retires.” She sipped from her juice.

“But don’t worry, Shuri. You’re gonna be head of the Design Group and anything else. T’Challa will sweet talk those salty codgers with that honeyed tongue of his. You’re smarter than anybody else they have lined up for the job. They’ll see straight. They have no choice.”

Shuri kicked her feet in the air with a grin, “Thanks Riri. I needed that. Anything else interesting happened at school today?”

Riri shook her head before she occupied herself with turning on Shuri’s gaming system and rifled through the available titles, “Oh right,” She mumbled absentmindedly as she scrolled, “I brought some snacks. It’s in my bag.”

Shuri rolled off the bed, walked over to Riri’s backpack and opened it. She spotted the gift basket full of snacks and took it out, but noticed a card fall open along with it.

Not being able to help herself when she picked it up, her eyes scanned the words.

Riri,

Your eyes remind me so much of the Earth,

Beautifully rich and full of life paired with a laugh that bubbles with mirth.

You move with such grace and elegance

Paired with a mind that harbors unmatched intelligence.

Your smile lights up a room with its brilliance

Coupled with a mindset that embodies resilience

Your heart is kind and pure and gentle

In your presence I can’t help but be sentimental. 

You make my heart skip more than one beat

These feelings I harbor- I cannot retreat. 

Whether returned in full or never at all

Just know that I love you

No matter the chances how small.

Love, Sipho.

Shuri’s grip on the card tightened as she read through the love confession. She looked at the gift basket that had a tag on it. She flipped it and say that it said ‘To: Riri. Love Sipho.’ This Sipho boy even dotted the ‘i’s’ with hearts.

She looked at the basket and then at the card and then over at Riri who was preoccupied with the game. Did Riri accept his confession? She clearly had to since she had his card and snacks. So this Sipho boy was now her boyfriend? Her eyes caught the bouquet of the Lily of the Nile as well.

Shuri ground her teeth and angrily zipped back up Riri’s bag and shoved it back in the corner.

“Yo, easy on the merchandise.” Riri called after Shuri, though her eyes never left the screen.

Shuri walked over to Riri and borderline threw the basket of snacks into her lap before flopping on the bed. Shuri knew she was behaving outrageous. Riri could have a boyfriend if she so pleased. But she thought she liked girls? Why the sudden switch now? Bast, this was annoying.

A boy?!

Riri paused the game and looked over at Shuri, “Yo, what’s your problem? You didn’t have to throw it at me like that.”

Shuri closed her eyes to roll them, “It’s nothing. Play your stupid game.”

Ugh! Shuri hated how she couldn’t rid herself of the irritation in her voice. Was she too slow to say something? But if she said something, it might ruin the friendship. Dammit!

“Nah, it’s definitely something with you being all pissy like that. Talk. You know I don’t play that shit. If you have something to say, say it.” Riri cracked her knuckle to stave off her irritation. Because what the fuck? One minute Shuri was cool and now she did a complete 180.

Shuri rolled over on the bed with her back to Riri, “I said it’s nothing.”

“I will get the fuck up out your place right now if you don’t tell me what’s up, Shuri. Cuz I’m feeling like shit right now. You always do this crap. I always have to pry you open like a damn clam for you to talk about certain shit. I’m getting tired of it.”

Shuri sat up on the bed and looked over at Riri, “I didn’t think we’d be keeping secrets from each other.”

“Secret? What the hell are you talking about?” Riri shook her head, was Shuri going off the deep end now?

“I ask you about your day and you fail to tell me you have a boyfriend now? You wanted me to find the snacks he gave you and everything as a present? That love confession of a poem? Flowers!” Shuri had to keep her tone in check because Bast, she would never forgive herself if her voice broke. 

“I thought you liked girls, anyway?” She mumbled as she cast her eyes downward.

Riri rubbed her head, “Oh my God. I won’t lie. I was tryna forget that happened, okay?”

Shuri didn’t bother with replying.

Riri walked over and joined Shuri on the bed while busting open the clear wrapping of the basket, “I ain’t got no boyfriend. Sipho had a crush on me. And he confessed earlier today. But I did in fact turn him down and let him know it’ll never happen cuz I’m for the girls.”

Shuri looked at the basket and then at Riri, “Then why did you keep his card where he professed his love to you?”

“You read that?” Riri side-eyed her.

“Yea. It fell out of the bag. Why did you keep it anyway if you rejected him? You don’t have to lie-”

“Lie?” Riri stood up, “What do you mean lie? I ain’t lyin’ bout shit. I just told you I rejected him!”

“Then why are you hoarding his love letters?” Shuri angrily pointed at the bag on the floor.

“Why are you going through my shit? I didn’t even read what he said in that letter.”

“You knew it was a confession! Obviously it had his feelings in it, genius!”

“Back the hell up, why are you so mad right now? And putting my sexuality into question? You wrong for that.” Riri paced and took a deep breath. She just wanted to chill from school. Not deal with this bullshit.

“Why didn’t you just throw it away with his other presents if you like girls so much? If you don’t like him, why keep it? It seems you’re confused.” Shuri hated how irrational she was being. But the thought of Riri even entertaining someone else…

“Con- I’m not a heartless bitch, Shuri! The guy wanted me to have the snacks and letter so I just took it out of kindness. I said I woulda shared the snacks with you! Like I’m trying to do right now, but you’re being a fricken jerk!” Riri kicked the rug in front of Shuri’s bed in irritation before kicking it back to its rightful place.

Shuri rubbed the bridge of her nose and bit the inside of her lip. She glared at the gift basket of snacks with displeasure. She didn’t want to eat any of those snacks made from ‘Sipho’s love for Riri. She didn’t even want that on her bed. 

“Man, screw this. Talk to me when you get over yourself. I’m going home.” Riri picked up the gift basket and her bag and left the room.

“Bast.” Shuri rubbed a hand over her face and through her braids, “I messed up.”

Shuri found herself in her mother’s chambers, relating what happened.

“And she had the audacity to want to share his cookies with me. I don’t want to eat treats from someone who wants Riri for himself.” Shuri huffed and groaned as she rambled.

Ramonda looked on as her daughter worked herself up, “Shuri, come.” She pat the seat next to her.

Shuri came over and heavily sat down next to her mother.

“Have you stopped to think that you are confusing Riri?” She asked gently.

“Confusing her? How?”

Ramonda took a breath “Well, Shuri, Riri does not know that you like her. So your outburst came to her as a surprise. And she is rightfully confused. And angry.”

Shuri clasped her hands together. That was correct.

“And you questioning her sexuality was also very, very wrong, my child.”

Shuri winced, she knew it was a low blow to do that. “I was just so angry at the thought of her having a boyfriend. I’d definitely be a better match for her.”

Ramonda smiled, "Then why don’t you tell her your feelings?”

Shuri swiftly shook her head, “No, Mother. It would ruin the friendship if the feelings aren’t reciprocated. You know this.”

Ramonda nodded, “Yes, I know this. But would it be any more ruined than it might be now? You said some very hurtful things to your supposedly good friend. To the girl you….love?”

Shuri bounced her legs anxiously.

“And should a boy not confess his feelings next time, but a girl who she so happens to like back. What then? Will you lash out at her for being with the first girl that asked her out?”

Shuri hung her head in her turmoil.

Riri sobbed into Okoye’s neck, “And..and she- she said I must be confused. I tried so hard not to cry right there, Mama.” 

Okoye rubbed Riri’s back and supplied her with kisses to help placate her daughter.

Clearly this was Shuri lashing out because of her untold feeling for Riri, but Okoye didn’t voice it. Riri should figure it out eventually. She just continued rubbing soothing circles on Riri’s back.

“Shuri will come to her senses, Riri. Don’t worry.”

“She pissed me off so bad, Mama. I literally felt physically sick when I left. She didn’t even stop me or anything.”

Okoye hugged Riri tighter, “I know it hurts, my love. But you both always make up, right? That’s the great thing about your relationship with her. You can never stay cross for long.”

Riri sniffled and rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache coming on, “I’m gonna go sleep, Mama.”

Okoye gave Riri another kiss, “All right, my Pebble. Rest well.”

Riri walked to her room and slipped under her sheets, falling asleep almost immediately.

Later that evening, Riri saw that she had a few missed calls on her beads from Shuri. She didn’t even return the calls, deciding to deal with that later.

Riri walked outside and smelled dinner. She walked into the kitchen to see if her mother needed any help but paused when she saw Shuri there, plating out the food with her mother.

“What are you doing here?” Riri eyed her wearily.

Shuri set down a plate, “I came to talk to you.”

“Ma, you let her in?”

Okoye gave Riri a look, “Since when have I ever turned her way, child? Come sit and eat.”

Riri sat at the table, opposite Shuri. She decided to stay out of the conversation unless her mother prompted her. And she made sure to avoid eye contact every time Shuri tried to catch her gaze.

Once dinner was over, Shuri offered Okoye to help wash up.

Riri used this time to escape to her room. 

Around twenty minutes later, a knock came to her door.

“Come in.” By the power of Bast, maybe it was just her mother and Shuri went home already.

The door slowly opened to reveal Shuri.

“Hey, Riri.”

Riri gazed at the ceiling, “Yo.”

Shuri closed the door and walked further into the room with her hands behind her back, “I came to apologize about my behavior this afternoon.”

Riri just glanced over at Shuri.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you feel so bad. I am sorry for acting so irrational. I’m sorry for those hurtful things I said.”

Shuri wanted to sit down, but she didn’t want to push the envelope too much.

“Why did you say them in the first place, Shuri? Do you just like making me feel like crap from time to time?” Riri kept her eyes upward to prevent any more tears from falling.

“No, don’t say that. I don’t like making you feel that way.”

“Then why do I feel that way, Shuri?” 

Shuri took a hand from behind her back and rubbed it down her face. Should she say it? But what if it ruins them beyond repair? Should she take the risk?

“You’re spacing out on me.”

Shuri looked over at Riri, “Making you hurt is never my intention. I care about you too much for that. I..I..The reason I behaved in such a manner earlier...”

Riri sat up on her elbows, “Yea?”

Shuri took a staggering breath, “I behaved like that because…”

Riri held her breath as her heart hammered in her chest.

“I care about you so much. We’ve been friends for so long and we were two peas in a pod. We are two peas in a pod. I was just…scared. I acted irrationally thinking that you getting a boyfriend…any relationship in general would cause us to drift apart. And you’d forget about me. So I lashed out.”

Shit.

Riri looked at Shuri. Really looked at her before she cracked a smile.

Fuck.

“You know that’d never happen. Nobody could ever replace you.”

She copped out.

Shuri smiled back before pulling out a gift bag from behind her back, “I brought these snacks as a peace offering. I even put some Oreos in there too.”

Riri sat up straighter on the bed and clapped excitedly, “Yes!” She grabbed up the bag and rummaged through it with feral vigor.

Ha. It feels good knowing Sipho could never make her excited like this at least.

“Thanks, Shuri.”

Shuri just smiled.

‘’Get over here!’’ Riri gestured for Shuri to come sit on the bed, which she did.

She enveloped Shuri in a hug, to which she excitedly hugged back.

“I forgive you. Thanks for apologizing.”

“You shouldn’t thank me. It was the proper thing to do.” She rested her chin on Riri’s shoulder.

Riri hugged Shuri tighter as she stared at an imaginary spot on the wall.

Shame on her for assuming Shuri was going to confess. She definitely didn’t like her like that.

Taggies: @somethingcleaverandwhitty @karimwillia @neptoons1998 @pantherheart

[jmdbjk]

Jungkook Weverse Magazine.

This interview was just a few weeks ago by the same author who wrote the BTS book. These photos are scrumptious...

All those years he's said he is still trying to discover himself....January 2021 New Year's message he said he felt personal growth and maturity but that he still didn’t feel like he was fully there yet, saying that he was still hoping to “find himself” in the upcoming year.

Fast forward two and a half years to July 2023: He basically decided to say "fuck it" and just be himself. Well done, well done, JK.

Its when he launched into a mak-guksu sauce TED talk like he was some sort of Korean Guy Fieri.... that's our Kookie. LET HIM KOOK.

I think he took his down-time seriously, reveled in being alone after so many years of being surrounded by people. I CAN RELATE. But now he's done with isolating himself... we all were wondering what was up with him back in early February. But he was being truthful, he was just enjoying being a lump on the couch.

As I said in an earlier post, I think JK found Seven sometime prior to April and his solo music activities seemed to gain momentum.

He realized in working on his own stuff that he had to be more assertive and he's doing great!

He said he wanted to be a "giant pop star" but in saying that, what he meant was this as he explains: "the ambition to be more appreciated and be even better. In a word: cool. That’s the whole reason I’m doing this. I want to be that kind of pop star someday—I want to be able to really experience that feeling. I hope the day comes that I can look at myself from a third-person perspective and give myself that kind of recognition. I’ll know I’m that kind of pop star once I can do that."

Because he still does not feel like the big superstar he already is. We saw that when he thought he wouldn't be recognized at Coachella. And because he's so grounded, he may never reach that level of self aggrandizing. Maybe he thinks artists like Justin Beiber are giant pop stars and JK has aspirations to be like that. What he doesn't realize is he does not have the sort of ego that would drive him to see himself that way. What makes him a superstar is how WE feel about him and how WE see him.

When he was talking about his performing and dancing and wanting to come off more natural, I wish he could hear this advice from me: keep practicing by feeding off the energy of the member who naturally brings that out in you and eventually it will become second nature. You've been watching this member since almost day one and have learned so much from him already. Your chemistry with him is one of the things that has made you, you. When you decided to stick close to him, whatever day that was long ago, it was probably the wisest thing you could have ever done, Kookie.

Read the Weverse magazine article here.

[iamamythologicalcreature]

Can I be real for a second?

I’ve gone back and forth in my head about whether or not to post about this very real side of me online or not. There’s nothing shameful about being disabled, but I don’t want to be known as my disability, either. I don’t want that to be my identity.

But I’m hoping to post some of my writing tomorrow for Six Sentence Sunday. Post something I’ve written, albeit just a small bit, online where anyone can see it. It will be the first time I’ve done so since the car accident three years ago. And the truth is, the terrible truth is, my writing is what hurts the most.

Stories have always been a part of my life. They have always been my motivation, why I slogged through everything else - my reason for existing. I wrote novels and hoped to publish, and I fell in love with the writing community and made it my home. I volunteered and organized events. I created an extremely successful and fulfilling teen writing club where I taught creative writing. I was in love with stories, and writing them. I have never not been in love with stories.

(Before I was a writer I was an artist. I’m not going to go into that part of my life in detail, but it was just as heavily affected.)

At the beginning of 2020 I was in a car accident. The driver at fault was pulling out of a bar parking lot in the middle of the day. Make of that what you will. The accident he caused left me with more than a few issues, but for this post I’m focusing on the vision impairment.

Because of COVID, I wasn’t able to seek any diagnosis or treatment until June. I didn’t even begin physical therapy until August. Due to a myriad of issues and unfortunate reasons, I couldn’t complete my treatment. That meant a year and a half of work and struggle went down the drain.

This continues to affect me in many ways. Sometimes it’s things that you might expect - I can’t read Tumblr, or books, most days. Some limitations are less obvious, like how I’m afraid to ask questions (e.g. “what kind of car did Fiona drive?”) because the resources to find the answers myself are out there. Why don’t I just google it? Or reference that amazing spreadsheet someone did? Why am I asking other people to do the work for me? Am I just lazy?

People don’t mean to judge (and I’m sure there are plenty who don’t). But my issues aren’t apparent, so they won’t know unless I take the time to explain it. Able-eyed people should be able to find these simple answers. Just look in the book.

So I don’t ask. Or I apologize a lot for asking. Because it’s just too hard to explain why I need such basic help. (And sadly, some people still don’t believe me and treat me as thought I’m making excuses.)

I lost most of my friends simply for being unable to chat online, particularly during lockdown. I kept three people in my life - the three people willing to break with their comfort zones and talk to me on the phone instead of via text or chat. Those people probably saved my life. I know everyone went through isolation issues in 2020. But I went through them unable to even use a computer or read a book.

Since I’m typing this, you can guess that I’ve recovered somewhat, or made some accommodations that help. Yes. I have. Both of those. But I still have more bad days than good. Typing too long, or playing a phone game, surfing Tumblr - anything done for too long can break my eyes and send me back into total isolation for days.

I was a really good writer. I would regularly write 10-20k every weekend, and I wrote well. I wrote great stuff. (Rough drafts are always rough drafts, but I felt good about what I wrote.) I would sink into a character and go for hours.

Here’s the part that’s relevant to me now: I can’t do that anymore. I can’t write for hours, I can’t take the time to slip into character. I’m doing really well if I can pound out a speedy 1k in 30 minutes and have it not break my eyes. (It usually breaks my eyes.)

If you’re a writer, though - or any kind of creative - you know that the need doesn’t just go away.

(I have tried to record notes on my phone, but I just cannot dictate writing fiction. Only my fingers know how to speak well, and in character. And no, I’m not going to learn braille. It would not be helpful.)

So I’m going to try to write. It’s going to suck, because the things I did to write well before are things I can’t do anymore. I will cry. And then I will wait a week or however long it takes for my eyes to chill the fuck out, and I’ll try again.

(I’ve also started treatment again, just this month. I have to start at square one again, which means it will get worse before it gets better. It will take time, and money - lots of both. Like years. But I can’t give up.)

Anyway. This is why I chose the Simon Snow fandom to try again, for the first time in forever. Because that’s the story, and those are the characters, and these are the people. I know it. So. Hi.

[desires-of-chain]

Hi just popping in again

To say how to come there is no yandere link x reader smut tags or link x reader smut tags or search results I find that horrifying.

Also this will let you know because I've seen some people underage try to go to your page

I am 22 years old today my Brith day so I want to also give you a gift

Imagine the links as a shark pod or just a shark and merman pod and they just noticed wind chirp more and going up to the surface to see him get scolded by the reader who's like a mother figure on him cuz he imprinted on her. And the reader keeps them from the scientists and tells him he has to be careful. Or he gets cought.

Then the links see a scientist walking over in the reader hides wind

As a scientist says has they seen the merman they've been looking for or at least the Cub or guppy wherever you call it

And she say no but maby the should move West.

They're so touched by that that all of them have basically claimed her as there mates and go talk to the others and they all semi dislike make her theirs

And when reader goes to meet wind

For his usly snake and bounding time she in a bathing suit

Finds out that she's surrounded by the links and are Coner her in the mermaid breeding pool that they made. And make sure she can breathe underwater whiling they are all pounding into her making her there's and Makin her into a cock hoe and can only thinks about getting fucked and breed by them. As they Mark he as there's 🤤

As our little grump grumpy beIN Wacth by the impas as he was wanting some mommy and son time actually when the snacks were involved.

From 🐵 Aron

The reason why I or some others don't really put N/SFW in the tags is that Tumblr completely fucked up their entire tagging system when we respond to asks. While yes, we can still tag it and have it hidden; however, Tumblr likes to randomly flag them even if it's just erotica, and it's an absolute bitch to deal with. From a previous ask a long while ago, you can't filter n/sfw since it doesn't pick up on the '/' at all. Unfortunately, you gotta work your way around with Tumblr's tagging system. Can't always win, sadly.

Some people do not want to see that smack dab in their faces, so I work my way around with the tags. I also don't want to flood the link x reader tags like crazy, especially when it's just asks and not a drabble/fic/short. If people want to share whatever they wrote here on their main blog, they can go for it; I mean, it's not gonna make me upset if they do; it's their writing.

Now, I put content warnings on the asks here to specify if it's triggering to someone or something that might not be someone's cup of tea. For example: Breeding, Yandere, Omegaverse, etc. That way, it can be filtered, or someone can add it to their filter.

With minors -sigh- sometimes, we can't always win; they're gonna find their way around the blocked wall and still be able to read mine or others' stuff. Imma do my best to keep them from interacting or following my nsfw blog either way. It ain't a win, but at least it's something.

Also, HAPPY BIRFDAY!!! I hope you're having a great day!

Thank you for the gift; you didn't have to on your birthday, but thank you!

The scientist better back tf up from the mers, or else somebody is gon get hurt! Don't know why, but I busted out laughing at 'cock hoe.'

Poor Wind, but at least he gets spoiled by the Impas uwu

[elle-thereafter]

For the fic writer asks: 12, 14, 29? :D

12: A trope you’re really into right now

I don't know the succinct way to describe this trope, but I'm really enjoying stories that delve into the ideas around regretting life choices and/or grieving the life you once had or could have had with different choices. Maybe it's just because I'm getting older and gaining perspective on my own life, but I'm really enjoying stories about complicated grief and regret, like super complicated. In CR especially, Ashton reframing his perception of his life and the life he thought he should have had is fascinating. All the recent stuff with Liliana, how she slid down a slippery slope into what is effectively a cult, and both regrets and rationalises those choices. I suspect also we'll get some flavours of this with Astrid's appearance too. There is something really interesting about the grey area where victims can also become perpetrators, and neither negates the reality or validity of the other. It's messy, and I really like messy, complex characters. I particularly like them when they are just becoming aware of and seriously start to reckon with their own messiness. Which way will they slide? Will they follow a path of redemption? Or will they double-down and pursue a darker path? Both options fascinate me so the whole trope and all its sub-tropes are just very tasty.

14: Where do you get your inspiration?

A ton of it comes from gaps and open questions in canon. I can't help but wonder about gaps, and that gets my brain going with "what if" and possible ways to fill in that gap, and eventually all that speculation and guessing sometimes leads to a story.

I also like prompts. Give me a single scenario or "what if" or a "what would it take to make character X do thing Y when thing Y seems wildly out of character". I also love subtle breadcrumbs that hint at hidden complexity: in the most recent episode revealing Essek in C3, there is some subtle stuff in how Matt has Essek react to the idea of Astrid, and later actually interact with Astrid: both before Astrid knows who he is and after. It immediately sent my brain off into analysis/speculation mode, and if I was the sort of person who could work on more than one writing project at once I'd already be writing a speculative one shot about it.

I'm also finding more and more I get struck by inspiration when I'm less strict about the particulars of my plot and am willing to let the characters lead more. Since starting to DM a long-running campaign with friends 5 years ago, my whole idea of how to plan and plot a story has changed a lot because when I'm DMing I have to leave a huge amount of space and flex for my players to make choices. I've adopted a lot of that flex into my narrative writing, and am way more aware of the choices the characters want to make and less rigid about forcing them to make choices I think I need them to make.

Before DMing I spent a lot of time worrying about getting the plot details just right before I started writing anything, and often would get stuck somewhere in the middle when the characters started to feel less like real people and more like soulless puppets, which led me to abandon most of my projects. Now I have only a very loose idea of the plot - just some preferred goals and themes in mind - and I'm more trusting that the plot will sort itself out as I go. It's been really freeing, and I'm finding all kinds of inspiration in the characters being allowed to do things and say things I didn't expect or plan for, and finding all kinds of interesting ways to use bits of set dressing from previous chapters so in retrospect they look like breadcrumbs and foreshadowing but actually, when I first wrote that little thing I had no longer-term plans for it. Two of the three major NPCs in Gate Building started as narrative conveniences and then became really integral to the story: I ended up with some really great narrative foils I didn't plan for, and to me that's just super cool!

29: How easy is it for you to come up with titles?

The answer is "it depends". Mostly it depends on when I need to come up with the title.

If I'm coming up with the title of something like a short fic or a chapter after it's written, I don't find it too difficult. I usually have a little note doc with various bits and pieces relevant to the project, and in there somewhere will be a place where misc title ideas start to organically collect. During the writing some get added, some get removed, some get tinkered with in the margins as I get a clearer and clearer picture of what it is I'm writing and how it's turning out. The closer I get to being done with the fic or chapter, the more the title ideas get refined, and almost always a clear winner pops out during the first editing phase when I'm tightening up the themes and sculpting things to better serve those themes.

If I have to come up with a title that has to stick before I finish something, that's way, way harder. When I decided to publish Gate Building as a WIP that title was a real challenge because I didn't really know yet how things were going to go, all I had was the first 5 chapters and some vague goals, themes and intentions. At the time I thought it was going to be more light-hearted than it's turned out to be, and the title definitely reflects that assumption; it's possible at some point I'll drop the overly complicated tagline and just leave it as "Gate Building".

WIP titles are hard if there's pressure on them to stick around because I don't yet have complete understanding of the shape of the thing, but if it's just temporary much like anyone else I'll call it any old thing. Like, my current WIP Gate Building chapter is just called "Percy" because that's the POV I'm in. Sometimes my WIP title is just the goal of the chapter if it can be stated in a concise way, mostly as a reminder of what the primary goal is.

I do like my titles to be little breadcrumbs about the chapter or the story, and they often refer to more than one thing. Sometimes I'll get stuck for a while trying to be too clever, and my rule is if I can't find a clever title by the time my editing passes are just about typos and grammar, then probably one doesn't exist so I should stop searching for it. But I do like titles that become little riddles, and can be appreciated differently after the chapter's been read. Probably this is mostly for me. :D 

---

Want to ask me more things? Here are the questions!

[ctrsara]

Fanfic asks

Thanks to @mossrose10 for tagging me!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

83

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

665k

3. What fandoms do you write for?.

Only Marvel (so far) and mostly just Irondad.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Emergency Contacts Flash gets a hold of Peter's phone at a party, and can only access the emergency contacts. Parker has a "Dad" listed in there, but Flash knows his dad died. As a joke, in the heat of the moment, he texts a ransom message to that contact. He didn't expect a very angry Iron Man to show up minutes later.

Cutting Remarks Peter Parker's field trip ends up being at Stark Industries, thanks to a little push from Pepper. Peter makes Tony promise to stay out of it, but Tony has never been great at keeping his distance. FRIDAY basically calls him a stalker. Kids are mean. Peter is self-sacrificing. You know, the usual.

Better Than I Was Rhodey makes it down to the Tower for a visit, and to meet the "intern" Tony has been so busy with, and is surprised by what he finds there.

Sick Day Shouldas Tony gets a call from Peter's school, asking him to pick Peter up because of a migraine, which turns out to be a result of his senses being haywire.

Outside Insights Since he had a head injury that prompted observation for 24 hours, Peter ends up having to shadow Tony as he attends to some SI business. It happens to be "Family Day," and lots of people are confused about the relationship between Mr. Stark and the kid he brought with him.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try hard to respond to every comment. But sometimes I get woefully behind! :( (Like right now!)

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Do any of my fics have angsty endings? Not really... Maybe Near-Arctic Adventures would count with Rhodey's musings at the end, and looking at the series possibly ending in "Infinity War" happening.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of my fics have happy endings... I'm going to randomly pick Birthday Breakout.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far. A little constructive criticism here and there. :)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not. I don't usually read them either.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don't think so.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet, though we've talked about it a bunch of times, haha. I've co-brainstormed a bunch, and written a few of those!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

The platonic Peter Parker & Tony Stark one is probably my favorite, but I've liked lots of them in the past. :) Lois/Clark in Lois & Clark: the New Adventures of Superman, Edward/Bella, Jasper/Alice, Spock/Uhura, (that was cheating, wasn't it...)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I don't have any WIPs I don't think I'll finish, unless it's the AU of my soulmates AU that I started. I don't know if I'll ever post it, therefore I'll probably never finish it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Grammar and spelling, attention to body language, fun dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Rambling about things that aren't that interesting, not great at cutting stuff out after I write it. (I'm crap at "killing my darlings.")

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I do some in Italian for Peter and Tony in Hardly Coincidence and the rest of the soulmate universe, but I usually switch to English and just indicate that they're speaking Italian for anything very long. (It has also inspired me to study Italian on Duolingo though, and I have a 225 day streak!)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I tried writing a Pern fanfiction (Anne McCaffrey's Dragonriders) at least 20 years ago. It wasn't good. I didn't make it past the first chapter, and didn't try again until I was almost 40...

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

How am I supposed to answer that? If I was cheating I'd pick the whole Strands in the Rope series, but maybe Visiting Hours is my favorite standalone.

No pressure tags: @fotibrit, @spagbol99, @asyouleft, @opal-earrings, @niniblack and @cajun-fangirl (and anyone else who wants to do it!!!)

[forestlovesyou]

i first got into the wtc fandom like 4 years ago and it’s so crazy that my desire to actually buy and play the games lasted this long. I feel like finishing umineko is a dream come true and my inner child is happy but i also understand it much better than what i understood from it as a tiny teen.

Random thought but I remember i wrote a pretty edgy au about George at that time because how him and Shannon were constantly ripped apart saddened me (I only watched the anime at that point mind you). I decided to make him a Sorcerer of Sorrow (I was 14) and his symbolic things were silver hyacints. I don’t remember his story well but it was smth about Bernkastel tricking him and yea stuff like that

Sometimes i remember him and think about redrawing him. I’m scared of reading his story because I’d most likely cringe at least a little bit but it was a massive au and i’m saving it to honor my younger self’s attempts to create something. Without silly things like this I probably wouldn’t be here with several oc stories i’m proud of, but also i would’ve probably forgotten about wtc as well.

Looking back at my ramblings i find it quite silly how i fit so many things in this post when i just wanted to write about the hyacints my mom got me today haha. Yeah they reminded me of Sorrow!George but now I’m filling them up with music from the Ikutoh playlist.

In the end for this post to have a deeper meaning: Don’t shame your young self for writing cringey stuff, at that point in life they thought that was the real deal and these clumsy steps are what help you to grow as an artist. Also flowers are great to use in stories for symbolism. Did you know that hyacints symbolise sorrow and a desire for forgiveness? They also symbolise joy, sincerety and purity btw.

[yexiwuu]

230702 lastyvesniin translation

12

may contain inaccuracies please credit @yexiwuu when reposting

From, blogssi It's July when the summer becomes even hotter! Do you have any activities you definitely want to do in July?

To. Blog ssi

As I was thinking really hard about what to write down I only wrote down really productive things So I deleted everything and now I am writing again...

I want to go to a cafe during the rainy season and read a poem book. As a person who only stays at home when it's raining, it is a huge decision of mine to carry around a book on a rainy day. And I must sit by the window. Since I am a romanticist. And since it will rain a lot, the owner will turn on the air-conditioner to get rid of the dampness. As I am sensitive to the cold, I will have to pack a jacket! Sometimes, when I am reading poetry, there are times when I get surprised and I'm like "Wow! How were they able to express it like this!" When I just flip the book pages, it feels like the words that land on my hands feel like they've been taken away. Whatever type of paper it is, or even if it's a receipt, Once I have written it down and put it away That when I clean my room sometimes, and open that up like a present, I think like that again "Wow! How were they able to express it like this!" Whenever that happens, it feels like someone left it at my home secretly, like a package without a sender. To me, who is like a maximalist, this notebook is like an item that I don't know when I will lose, but Let's stay together.

The texture of the apple notebook which looks better under flash

I bought it together with this book too

As if I was possessed by the first page, I bought it "I should have written down a memo"

2. I want to watch movies and chatter all night in Dohyun's room while eating Kkandori This is where we will be needing the important 'electric fan.' Not long ago at Dohyun's house, we were talking to each other about the different ways of expression Then, we fell asleep at 7 am. As the sounds of the electric fan was whizzing around us, we were slightly leaning towards each other with our ice creams melting in our hands. Both of us went "Wow! It's really like the summer time right now!" at the same time. In the summer, we felt the summer-like feeling. Of course, since it's the summer. But it is really quite different from crunching across the cold snow and reminiscing the past summer.

dohyun is eating a big ice cream by herself;

And Dohyun is a film enthusiast who has written About 1900 movies, all separately. Even if it is about little worries or dull topics She relates them back to movies when talking about them Somehow, that becomes such an interesting thing to me. So usually when I hear about an ending from Dohyun, I go on Netflix to find the movie. Some might think of it as boring, but talking to Dohyun as stuff appears one-by-one is quite fun to me. Thanks to her, I have been watching 'The Good Place' Every morning while going to sleep.

I'm on Season 2 now

3. Being safe and sound When I was younger, our house was directly hit quite hard by the Typhoon 'Maemi.' After that, summer became like a butterfly hiding a knife behind someone's back. (There is a Typhoon Nabi too..) So by any means, the people around me, actually no everyone around me My biggest wish is for them to be safe and sound in the summer. Somehow, 'summer' is glorified to the extent that even the word Feels like it is blazing strongly with the youth full of sun. However, some people become depressed during the rainy season And others become anxious at typhoons inching by closer. Is there something great about happiness~~~~~~ As long as you will be safe and sound Even if the sores inside of our hearts keep poking us And even if this summer is more humid than the past summer We have many more summers coming up, you know~ Let's spend this summer well~ together, too. Bye!

An image without relation to the post

[deathlygristly]

Sometimes I find things I wrote online a long time ago and they contain memories that I no longer have.

I've seen that post about what would you have posted about if you were on here when you were 11, and I was like hmmm, the Holocaust, My Little Pony, ACC basketball, Sherlock Holmes, Edgar Allan Poe, The Little Mermaid, Animaniacs, Tiny Toons, and also apparently according to the old posts I found Gandhi and MLK Jr. It would appear that several years ago I remembered a fascination with them coming after the interest in the Holocaust.

Which makes sense, I guess. Little me trying to find some hope in humanity afterwards. I mean, that is around the time my mother signed me up for Big Brother, Big Sister. I heard her on the phone saying that she didn't know what to do with me and I was terrified she was giving me up for adoption. Turned out it was more that she didn't know how to handle an existentially depressed preteen who would look at the most beautiful spring days and imagine smoke rising from the crematorium.

Also when I wrote those posts I was having a similar reaction about healthcare here in the US, trying to find a way to live in a world where I was under the control of other members of my species who were fine with extreme suffering and cruelty and who enjoyed causing it. It was shortly after the ulcer where my choices were to go to the ER or die, so the cost of healthcare here was on my mind a lot.

Then came Trump, and finally my choices were adapt to living on the same planet as humans or die. I chose to adapt. Got medication for the anxiety and managed to find some level of seeing and appreciating the most beautiful spring days and being extremely happy with that and just letting the human darkness go so I could live.

So if I don't reblog much political content on here and I unfollow/block people I don't know well who reblog a lot of the darker and more vicious stuff, it's because of that choice. Me talking about how awesome the spousal person is, about how it's fun to watch kdramas and try teas with him, about how cool the cats are, etc - that's all me choosing to live.

Humans are gonna human and I can't stop it or control it or do anything about it, but I can appreciate beauty and I can laugh and I can pet cats and I can hug the spousal person and I can live as well as I can, since I was born on this planet and I have no other choice anyway.

It is still interesting and fun occasionally to wonder about how humans work and to try to understand where the cruelty and enjoyment of causing suffering comes from or even how much of it is the result of conscious choice and how much of it is just the unfortunate result of how human brains work in certain situations.

And if anything trying to learn about that more has helped, because the more I've learned the more I've realized that a lot of it comes from a cycle of abuse and trauma and how human brains react to that cycle, and how most humans aren't scary monsters who enjoy hurting others. They're mostly just traumatized and/or ignorant and/or trying to survive as best they know how and/or desperate to stay included in their tribe. They're more pitiful than scary, and I mean pitiful as in inspiring much pity, not as an insult.

I think probably the only thing I can do about humans being human is to try to be kind and help others, and doing what I can to keep myself joyful helps with that.

I don't know. Anyway tonight we're going to pick up a sanity pill refill, aka escitalopram, and eat at our favorite restaurant, so we'll only have time for one episode. Which there aren't any new shows airing today that we're into so it'll be an episode of Faith, aka The Great Doctor. It's from 2012 when kdramas did not have the budget they have now and it's very amusing. Also it's from before the Joseon Exorcist controversy so it's actually based on real history near the end of the Goryeo dynasty and it's fun learning about the real people the characters are based on.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

So, this is fucking amazing. Absolutely fucking amazing. It is going to be some time before I stop occasionally just opening this up to look at how fucking amazing it is:

(Not sure why I’ve bothered blacking out the name for privacy reasons, since I’ve definitely written what my first name is on this blog before, but it felt like the sort of thing I should black out, the important thing to know is that behind that black square is my name.)

This book came out barely a month ago, and I already know it’s great, because I’ve heard the audiobook. I wrote a whole post here just after I heard it, trying to explain how very good it is, and not doing it justice. Honestly, I can’t recommend this book highly enough, and not just because I like Josie Long’s comedy. It’s a rare book I’ve read (well, heard) by a comedian that I think stacks up perfectly well on its own merits.

So the audiobook version is great, but I’ve recently received my physical copy, and I know it’s mine because it has my name in it, and that name was written by Josie Long, and that is so fucking cool. Someone picked this up at a book launch in London, told Josie Long who I am, got her to sign it accordingly, and then got it to me in Canada, because I am lucky enough to know some amazingly kind and helpful people. Basically, eight months ago I messaged a stranger on a comedy forum while thinking “worst-case scenario is they don’t reply and I have to be anxious that they found my message rude and presumptuous even though they probably just never saw it, hoped-for scenario is they have a couple of the comedy things I’m looking for, best-case scenario is they can give me a link to a folder with lots of the things I’m looking for” – and then the reality far exceeded the expected best-case scenario in every single way, because my best hopes did not lead me to think “maybe this will lead to me having someone in London who’s willing to get signed copies of books by my favourite comedians for me.”

I’m pleased to have this for a few reasons besides the signature and dedication. There are pros and cons to audiobooks and to books made of paper from trees, and this book is so good that I’m glad to get the advantages of both versions.

Obviously audiobooks have convenience advantages, you can listen to them while doing stuff that you maybe can’t do while reading off paper made from trees, but there are also artistic merits to them. It’s nice to hear the voice, both literal and figurative, of the author as you experience the story. Nice to hear the author’s physical voice, and nice to hear what they add to the story through their tone and inflection and emphasis. I have a theory that stand-up comedians are better than most authors at reading their own audiobooks, just because they’re used to working in a medium where the way they deliver the words out loud matters so much.

But physical books are nice too, because their physical writing style, and formatting and layout choices can also add to the story. Also, with a physical book, it’s much easier to go back to stuff, reread certain parts, flip through and quickly find the bit you want. I want to do that with a bunch of parts of this book already, and I’m sure I’ll do it more over time. This is the kind of book I’ll want to go back to.

The takeaways here are that this book is excellent, sometimes if you get over social anxiety enough to try communicating with a stranger it’ll work out well, and Josie Long is the ninth wonder of the world and people should buy her book.

[skippers-stuff]

Coming out

Pairing: bi Eddie Munson x bi afab! Reader

Summary: Eddie decided to come out to you, and your response made him dropp everything.

Warnings: mention of sexually loaded activities (clothed privet areas touching), concussion, visit to school nurse, head bang, coming out, bi couple, stedie mentioned, emotions and stuff...

A/n: I wrote this a while ago, got inspired by a tiktok vid I can't find anymore. I wanted to post this earlier but tumblr is shit hard to use (for me lol, I'm old [not really]). I'm clearly new to this so I'm thankful for every feedback i get!

You burst through the cafeteria door with panic in your eyes. You are desperately searching for a way out of the situation you throw yourself into. With your loud entrance, now everyone was looking at you like you were gonna you went mad, but you couldn't care less. Not when he was after you. You run to your table, grab Dustin's shoulders and look at him with puppy eyes.

"Dustin, dear, my great friend, you need to help me. Please." You beg the younger boy.

"Oh, no, what did you do this time?" He asks you with an annoyed look.

"I may or may not have fucked up just a tiny tiny little bit... " you wanted to continue your speech about how you managed to get yourself in trouble once again, but then his fluffy hair appeared in the door.

"Shit" you hiss and go back to your running business.

Just a normal day in Hawkins High. You pissed off your boyfriend, Eddie Munson, just like you usually do maybe like 3 or 4 times a week, and now, you're running for your life. Of course, he would never hurt you, not on purpose at least, you knew that, but he had his ways of getting back at you.

You run to the bench in the forest area, behind the school, where Eddie usually does his cartel businesses. At that point, you were out of breath and your legs felt weak. You could not make any more steps. So you decided to lay down on the top of the table. Not in the grass obviously, since you didn't want any bugs in your hair. Not long after, your boyfriend was hovering above you with a stupid smirk on his face.

"Got you now doll" he smirks and pins, your hands above your head.

"Okay, yeah, you got me. Good job Eds." You say while trying to catch your breath. "I need to visit the gym more often."

"Mhm, you know what else you should do, angel? Well, I don't know maybe stop talking shit about your boyfriend?" He asks.

Well, yes. About the whole situation. You may or may not have talked to Eddie about how he and Harrington would make a cute couple and mentioned here and there that you can see in his eyes that he just wants to kiss him sometimes. Like quite literally, that was the only topic you talked about today. You started it to annoy him. Altho it was true. You did see some sparkles in his eyes whenever he saw Steve. You've suspected for quite a while now, that your boyfriend was not really what other people would call straight. You didn't want to push him about that, his sexuality, but your jealousy took over you this time. He should not look at anybody else the way he's only allowed to look at you.

"And now tell me, princess, where and when did that little idea of your come to your head? Did you bump you bump it?"

"No, I just saw what I saw, considered and concluded. You don't have to be Sherlock Holmes to catch the evidence." You say smirking right back at his stupid but oh so beautiful face. He spreads your legs with his hands, stands between them and pulls you closer to him, so your crotch meets his. Then he grabs the neck of your shirt and pulls you up by it.

"And why do you seem so sure about that? Why would I be interested in a guy?" He asks in a lower voice.

"Come on Eds, the little starring at Steve moments, the handkerchief, yes I know about that too, you just scream the answer, my friend," you say smiling.

"Let's just say you are right, for the following scenario, and I do like... Other than women, no, not Steve, just in general... How would you feel about that? Your boyfriend being attracted to... Boys?" He asks still holding you but now a bit nervous. You just keep smiling at him. It's like a huge moment. He finally admitted to you his attraction to other genders. I mean, yeah, you may have forced it, but you wanted him to be true to himself around you.

"Well, I would think that is super extra cool since my boyfriend's girlfriend is attracted to girls as well." You smile, making your confession to your love.

Eddie's world just stops right there. I mean, how could it not? He just found out that his girlfriend not only accepted his so-called abnormality but somehow shares it with him. That he is not alone. At that moment he didn't feel awful about himself, and about his feelings, he just felt like it was a normal thing. He fell even more in love with you at that moment if it was possible. He didn't care about Steve or anyone else on the planet because at that moment, Eddie Munson was sure he wanted to marry you as soon as possible. His whole body weakened for a minute. Only a minute. But it was enough for your shirt to slip through his fingers. He saw the whole thing in slow motion in front of him. Your shirt slips, and then the boom, when your head hit the wooden table. His eyes go wild as he tries to catch you.

You feel incredible pain in your head while you chant every swearword you knew. You try to stand up, but one, you feel dizzy and you just can't and two, Eddie is on top of you. Repeating how sorry he was between the "shit" s that left his mouth. You push him off of you and he helps you to stand up.

"You okay princess? Shit. I am really really sorry, I didn't mean to drop you" he put his arm around your body and tries to help you stand properly.

"My head fucking hurt, get me to the nurse," you say with your eyes closed, trying to make your way to the said person with Eddie's help. You can only take two steps before you put your boyfriend to the side and throw up.

"Oh fucking shit it's not looking good, is it? Shit, I'm so fucking sorry." He picks you up and as fast as he can get you to the nursery.

The nurse gives you some painkillers and tells you that you have a minor whiplash so she sends you home. Since non of your parents can pick you up, Eddie decides to ditch school and take you home instead. He lays you down on his bed, and makes everything comfortable for you, just hopping around you like a maid. The only problem is that you don't want to be near him. He just dropped you after coming out to him, literally.

"Eddie, could you just leave please?" You whine.

"I am sorry but I'm afraid I can't do that, princess." He says as he climbs in next to you. "I really hate what I did back there, and I'm trying to get my perfect girlfriend whatever she wants to show her how amazing she is and how much I love her, hoping that she'll forgive me and marry me someday, even tho I dropped her when she came out to me. I hope you know I didn't do that because of what you said, I mean I did. I didn't expect it and well, god, you are perfect and you made me believe that after all, I might be normal. I mean I hated myself for so many years whenever I felt something towards a boy and you just took it so carelesly and easily."

"Eddie Munson, you are faaaar away from normal, my dear. And that's what I love you for. Because who the fuck wants to be boring and normal when they can be you? Or be with you. You are the colour in my life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love you. And I will marry you someday in the future, but not now, now I need peace and quiet." You say as you close your eyes, only to open them a moment after to glance at your boyfriend who is silently admiring you "and maybe my boyfriend... Shirtless." As you say those last words, Eddie is quick to take off his shirt and pulls you on his chest. He keeps petting your hair as you slowly fall asleep to the heartbeat of the one you love the most.

[annawayne]

(you do write, so you are a writer-writer, and a fantastic one even♡)

ok so for the ask game: 🥺🎢🛒💖🦅🤭🧠(annie) and ✨️

Thank you so, so much, both for asking and for your words T___T

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

Oh, yes. This is THAT moment when one character is in danger and another one just is so lost in emotions and feelings. It works for me both in canon and in my writing. I think, that situations like these open up what REALLY a character feels and thinks because this is the question of life and death.

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

It's definitely "Bury Me in the Shadows of Spring" because the plot here is emotional damage ™. It's so dense with feelings, so sometimes when I reread my plot outline, I feel like my heart is broken.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I already answered it here, so I'm just referring to this answer :)

💖 What made you start writing?

Oh… I guess, my love for literature in general. I wrote some "original" stuff a long time ago when I was 11–15 years old, and I was really engaged in the process, of how the only power of words building the whole world! Then, I even wrote a whole "original" story when I was 18, it has like…~200k words? (I never published it and never will). It has two parallel plot-lines, one is the diary that describes the events of the past, and the second one is the present. Two lines collide when the "present" one finds the diary, and the mystery of their world becomes larger and larger, heh. The diary line due to some event has no stars and the "endless" night, so it has a lot of reference to the constellations and stars. It's actually called "Through the corridors of stars" (yeah, I love pathetic titles...) But after that, I didn't write anything. When I opened the world of fan fiction back in 2020, all these years I had a will to start writing again, but this time publish it. It took me 2,5 years to overcome the fear and the stupid uncertainty to start writing in English, so here I am!

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

Oh, always outline! Before starting BMSS I wrote a whole separate doc with each chapter and key events. Also, I marked some specific details for the chapter structure as Annie's chapters are colorful, it always has a lot of references to the art itself + the title of her chapters is the actual painting title, and the whole chapter in Annie's POV is built around this canvas. In Armin's we have a more lyrical, wordy style, he has more inner reflections. Their mutual POVs chapters have their titles mixed, and so are the styles of their narration :)

As for one-shot, it goes the same way. Key points, some key topics (as I like to choose a few leading topics and to look at them from different angles and POVs).

🤭 Do you have a favorite tag to use when posting your works?

(Author hates it)

This is, the tag. Describes me very well :DDD

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them. (Annie)

I always agree about Annie being the one who is struggling to show her feelings properly, but for the same reason, I find her the one who can be incredibly soft once she is certain nobody would hurt her. And also I feel like she is emotionally deprived, so once she learned not only to be the receiver of attention and affection, but also a giver…oh my, this girl will shower you with all these adorable things, but SMALL once, It's not big romantic dates, but mundane and ORDINARY things that, maybe, are even more precious.

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

My limit on self compliments is already dead with this answer, but…uhm, Ann, please, calm down and enjoy the process. You're doing great and something that you wanted for so long, be proud of yourself, goddammit :D

[foxymoxynoona]

oh no is everything okay? i have noticed you haven’t been around on tumblr lately but i didn’t want to come across as nosy

I'm actually an oversharer about most things LOL so it's not nosy to me, I'm endeared you noticed my behavior as different at all! I don't want to be mysterious or cryptic because I will be ok eventually. I will make it through all of this. But not everything that's going on will turn out ok and sometimes I think that's important to recognize too. So I'll give some more detail for those who are wondering beneath the cut.

TW: medical stuff, parent cancer, surgeries, pet loss.

My health is kind of wreck right now. It turns out I have a rather large lesion (medical jargon for "thing") in my small intestines, so I most likely have surgery ahead, possibly major, BUT we think this is finally what's been causing my debilitating anemia (because it turns out it wasn't the big benign ovarian tumor I had removed, which is crazy). At this point all the tests are looking like it's not malignant or invasive (ie, cancer) YAY, but the doctors are confused about what it is, which is never a good feeling lol so we're waiting on a second opinion from an expert who's on vacation right now and damn, waiting on test results SUCKS. Some of the medical tests have been really hard and stressful. One of the testing procedures caused a painful problem I had to have minor surgery to fix last week which has been a tougher recovery than I had anticipated. Even before that, I've just been in a lot of pain that's hard to live around.

And we just learned my husband has a vestibular schwannoma (a benign tumor on his hearing nerve) and it has some serious life-changing risks no matter what we do. And my dad with a brain tumor has taken a bad turn because his tumor became resistant to the chemo (I'm not sure I've ever mentioned this here...) and I live so far away from my parents. We're hoping a new chemo will make a difference and he's pushed through before but prognosis is always guarded. You can know something is inevitable and never be ready for it.

And like I mentioned, a lot bad pain and uncertainty and constant medical appointments and through all this I have a stressful job and busy kids (one with a birthday party this week!) with their own needs and I really miss my dog who passed away unexpectedly in November because he was my snugglebug when I was sick, and plus my immune system is shot right now with the stress, so I am getting hit with every stupid illness, so eating and sleeping have been hard which you know always makes dealing with things harder. I just got WRECKED by this cold for days that barely touched anyone else in my family and I'm better today but my poor nose 🤡. oh also my husband got laid off 6 weeks ago but he has managed to find a new job to start next month so we can check that one off the stress list and it's actually a great move for him! 😵‍💫 but yeah, that was stressful too!

This isn't even everything but it's the most pressing things 😮‍💨, they just keep piling up. It's just been a lot. Usually tumblr and BTS and my writing and this community are my little safe haven but the pain and stress have left me so hollow that I've just been sort of emotionally shut off from a lot of my usual joys. Writing is like breathing to me and it's scary when it stops.

But I will be ok. I will adapt to whatever medical stuff is coming up even if it's scary, and my husband will adapt to whatever happens with his medical stuff even if it's hard, and I will push through all of the things, and I will even survive the inevitable loss of my dad, which isn't ok but is what it is. I felt a little better today for the first time in a long time, my cold is improving and it wasn't a bad pain day and I even wrote a few paragraphs. Sometimes these small victory days are the best we can manage.

Anyway, sorry this was crazy long if you didn't want all the details. But thanks for asking about me, it's really sweet 🥰

ETA: Since writing this Tuesday night, our childcare just gave her 2-week notice 😭