#sometimes endings escape me

[multi-lefaiye]

not sure who might need to hear this or if it's just me that needs to, but i've had this thought for a bit and i wanna write it out

you are not a machine that exists to make art. you are a human being, and human beings need rest and breaks.

creative block happens. it's natural, and embracing it as part of the process is far better in the long run than stressing out over it.

we live in a world that emphasizes productivity above all else and needing to Make Something, but truly it is not the end of the world if you're not productive 24/7.

[oneluckydragon]

"Suddenly the world was gray and dull and my heart was so heavy I felt like I couldn’t move, let alone make it back to Treasure Town. But because of Echo’s last wish… I was able to keep living.”

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SORA : (Partner)

Abilities: Justified / Inner Focus

Nature: Gentle / Hardy

Moveset: Aura Sphere / Metal Claw / Poison Jab / Dragon Pulse

[lunarharp]

played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles

[herearedragons]

tag the oc that's most likely to get stuck in a time loop and what kind of time loop it would be

[furiousgoldfish]

Hi, just a little reminder to everyone who has attempted to message me or talk to me, and didn't get a reply or didn't get a reply they wanted.

I often have people messaging me expecting instant friendship and emotional support and talking to me as if we already knew each other. I don't think this is done with ill intent, but I do want to gently remind everyone that we are complete strangers when interacting online, and that I cannot grant anyone instant friendship; to me you are a person I don't know. I will talk to you as a stranger would. Even if you've been reading my words and taking solace and imagining a friend telling them to you, to me you are someone I've never met or known, and I cannot function as an emotional support on a personal level to strangers. It ultimately is not helpful for you to convince yourself that a stranger on the internet is your personal friend, or to push that stranger into trying to act the part; I am unable to fulfill this role. I am not emotionally well myself, and I do not have a support system, so being put in a situation where I'm expected to be one for a stranger feels unhealthy.

Another thing I'd love for everyone to remember is, that I don't have all of the answers. I love to help where I can, but ultimately I am a person in a lot of distress, trying to deal with multiple disorders without any access to therapy or even friends who understand what I'm going thru. I am isolated and posting on this blog is often all I have. If I knew how to get rid of trauma, how to deal with disorders, how to not be sick or in pain, how to evade abuse or how to feel okay, I would use this advice to fix my own life. But I am sadly, lost like the rest of us.

There are times where I am in too much distress to talk to anyone, if you sent me a message and it went unanswered, it is very likely that I was in a state so bad I could not communicate. I will usually recover from it within several weeks, but by that time I feel bad even reminding someone they've sent me a message, it feels asinine to try and reply so late. And it reminds me of the period where I felt bad looking at the message, unable to respond. I'm not ignoring messages on purpose. If you try again some time later, you're likely to get a reply, if I'm in a good state of mind.

However, if you send me a big number of messages at once, start talking about your issues without asking if it's okay first, send several messages without a reply and then keep sending them and demanding a reply, put pressure on me to communicate with you, try to guilt me into giving you an answer you want, or assuming I'm maliciously ignoring you, you've made me uncomfortable and I have to listen to my instincts and stop talking to you.

I am sensitive to anger, aggression, ranting, swearing, slur-use, and doing that in a conversation with me it will make me feel threatened. Because we're strangers, and any stranger acting like I'm an acceptable target to take their anger at is dangerous. We are not friends, and dealing with angry strangers is terrifying. In that situation I have to do what I would advise anyone else to do - leave the conversation.

The last issue is with people attempting to trigger me on purpose, pretending they need help then defending abusers, trying to convince me that all of my resources are harmful and doing nothing but damage, or trying to get me to delete my content, change my posts, advocating for abusers, siding with my abusers, telling me I'm a monster, insisting they're victimized by me unless I personally disprove my smear campaign to them, and generally trying to get me to lash out in order to post it online to claim I should be cancelled. That is the worst thing you could be doing to a traumatized abuse victim. I am a person, of course I sometimes say something wrong and not well thought and put out. That doesn't mean anything I ever do to help others is worthless and should be erased. And you will not convince me that my blog is useless or harmful. It helps me. And I am someone too.

[bunnihearted]

my upstairs neighbor is actually fucking insane and idk how im supposed to keep living like this 🙃

[eldritch-muppetshow]

y’know i originally conceptualized pomni being stuck as her avatar in the pomni escapes au as being completely literal, but it could be read as a visual metaphor for trauma/feeling like she “never left the circus” now that i think about it

[mbirnsings-71]

"I don't like sad things" hello ??? you who has come up with some of the angstiest things before ? delightfully hurt/comfort ? /t

Listen Blaines my dear friend

I never said I wasn't a hypocrite, like I was in tears about your lie in april + I want to eat your pancreas and I'm always in tears about Kojika and Ronin's Right person, not enough time dynamic- I think that's just a trope that's always gonna make me cry ngl-

I genuinely don't like sad things most of the time but angst I can handle when I know there's comfort at the end. When I know the characters are gonna get a happy ending or I know where the story is gonna go or if I'm forewarned ahead of time.

And the Angst thing is because I have Ru as my role model in the angst department so Gotta keep up with their silly antics /j

[markiafc]

a good suicide narrative is very important to me tbh!

[curioscurio]

Yooooo you worked at Michaels too?

(Ex-Framing department employee here)

YEA LETS GO EX-FRAMING DEPARTMENT they never even got around to teaching me production it was all wrapping and taking orders :/ Idk how it is at other shops but we only had 3 people working the whole frame shop. One person did ALL the frame assembly and us other two handled everything else. Was absolutely not worth $11/hr. man fuck retail. FUCK Design Hub too, if I may

[fruixtii]

been thinking about my rsa au…

[asinglesock]

so uh

[citrine-elephant]

i will not be able to guarantee, but

[quietwingsinthesky]

8!!!!

8) How should the afterlife have been “resolved”? Did the fixing of Heaven work?

no, see, i think it’s hilarious that they spent like 11 seasons trying not to be Heaven’s bitches and then got stuck in there anyway by their son-god like dogs put in their crates while the owner goes to work. they live down the street from their toxic dad and girlboss mom who are, (presumably) due to being heaven assigned soulmates, also damned to being trapped in their coerced marriage in the afterlife for the rest of time. eventually, sam’s kid and blurry wife are going to die and make this even more weird and awkward. it’s amazing. my only note is that supernatural seemed to think this was a happy ending <3 they should know better <3

(but as for how I would fix it. i mean, that would require also rewriting the last few seasons of Empty shit to be more. final. rather than a revolving door that Cas and Lucifer keep wandering in through. And then I would throw everyone into the Empty!!! go the fuck to sleep!!! peace when you’re done jesus christ!!! would have also killed sam and dean together in either a freak accident or a murder-suicide :3)

(and. okay i swear last one. but for my most self-indulgent “fix” of the supernatural afterlife, i would have brought amara back and had her eat all the dead souls, heaven or hellbound. and eat anyone who dies in the future. and then through her destruction, give jack (new baby god!) the power to create. if we have to have a semi-happy ending here. i mean, i regard this cycle of reincarnation as a happier ending then eternity in heaven/hell/the empty, but then again, supernatural is very christian at the end of the day, and i am very Not.)

[giantkillerjack]

To give credit to the last of us for its queer rep, it’s not just queer characters who have tragic/bittersweet endings. Literally everyone (siblings, parent and child, heterosexual) queer or not, has tragic endings. The older queer couple gets the best one out of all of them.

I guess? I mean, it is certainly much better than if they were the only characters to die in the storyline. But people were on tumblr talking about how theirs was a happy queer story. And I think it is the misleading discussion around these characters that bothers me even more than the writing. Like if I had watched that episode instead of looking up the plot summary, I would have had a meltdown at the end when they both died because I truly had gotten the impression that it was going to be a happy story.

But now that I've mentioned the writing:

It's nice that they live till their 70s. It's nice that they get 20 beautiful years together. And it's a bit fucked that the writers felt the need to end those 20 long years on-screen with a terminal illness and suicide in the same episode they are introduced. It would have been incredibly easy to just say that those men get to live on past the end of the episode. There are a million reasons those men could have continued living in the story.

But that's the thing about a show like this. I think there is a distinct possibility that this show is actually incapable of writing a satisfying happy ending.

Craig Maizin, the show's writer, gained acclaim recently with Chernobyl, proving that he is apparently excellent at writing a long, horrifying tragedy in which character struggle only to find there is no way out.

(His other main credits are The Hangover sequels and the Scary Movie sequels, most of which I haven't personally seen, so make of that what you will.)

But more than the writer's background, the show itself troubles me. It has this repeated mantra in it that goes, "when you're lost in the darkness, look for the light." Which is a cool phrase.

But I have reason to suspect that this writer genuinely doesn't know how to write the light. I have no reason to believe he does. I hope I am wrong.

But when you write episode after episode after episode that is an endless inescapable slog of tragedy and desperation - and then advertise it to me, a sick queer person actually living through a pandemic and trying to escape disease and poverty - well.

I think a better writer would include moments of light and hope beyond just trauma bonding. Moments that don't end in death.

When my wife writes about characters in awful situations, there are still these moments of genuine loveliness and fun and joy between the characters; these moments remind the reader what is worth actually fighting for, living for. Imagine! Entire chapters in a post-apocalyptic novel in which characters don't undergo a "hacking someone to death with a cleaver" level of trauma!

But the fact that Bill and Frank still had to die even after an earnest attempt to tell a beautiful love story....

I fear that the light the story ends with - if there is any - will be as dim and desaturated as the show itself. And personally, I am at a point in my life where I don't care to see a story like that.

It's fine if you do like it. It doesn't matter to me if you find beauty in a tragic queer love story. There are places for that in this world. But it is tragic. I am sure of that. And I wish I hadn't been seeing posts saying otherwise, ya know?

And I hope I am wrong about the writer. But I see cracks in the premise. Like in Stranger Things. There was always a promise of light that kept me watching, but it never seemed to come. Instead, the misery and trauma continued to stack and compound for the lead characters, like in TLOU. But... does the writer know how to make that worth it, for us, for the audience - for me? I don't think he does.

I think it very possible that the light isn't really coming for Ellie and Joel in a way that provides catharsis because I have noticed that on shows with no intermittent joy and hope, this is too often the case.

But I do hope I'm wrong. Because if I am right, then a lot of mentally ill fans will leave the experience more depressed than if they hadn't watched it at all.

But for my own part, I'll just continue to skim through the show for monster design ideas. And also I'll say that everyone should watch Infinity Train - ESPECIALLY season 2 of Infinity Train, if they'd like to see a story in which people actually DO find a light that makes the whole journey feel worth it.

[pepprs]

hi im going to leave chicago in a few hours. i don’t want to come home