#and i can exercise and write and read... learn languages. yeah sounds cool

[bunnihearted]

my upstairs neighbor is actually fucking insane and idk how im supposed to keep living like this 🙃

[moxfirefly]

Nobody necessarily asked for these but it’s been a meh few days and I figured I’d write some shit to keep busy (a little stuck on request but a bih is managing)

So I give you, some random headcanons for the guys

Michelangelo

I like to think that this orange lad while the fun type of bf that has you in stitches nearly every minute, has his serious moments

Similar to Don he’s painfully aware that he isn’t normal and while he can be somewhat vain that boy has got some self conscious thoughts running through him all day. Especially with his s/o

That gives way to some depressive episodes 🥺 (hug him pls)

He’s the second best cook of the four (Raph being 1st place) but he’s the best baker though.

Loves being competitive in games with Raph but enjoys playing co-op more with Donnie

The only time you can catch him really concentrating is when he draws. Boy really gets lost in it. Goes without mentioning, yes he draws his s/o and has gifted them some pretty dope ass pieces

Heaviest sleeper, a bomb can go off. You’ve often almost violently shake him which leads to Grumpy Groggy Mikey™️ and he complains cause on the random days he manages to be up before you boy wakes you up super soft and sweetly

Besides Donnie he’s got seniority when it comes to picking the playlist they use for doing chores.

As I’ve stated and will die on that hill: Touch is his love language. He still likes to snuggle up to his bros or give them hugs. He’s basically attached to the hip with his s/o.

Fancies himself a bit of a style icon

He remembers perfectly the firsts: first kiss, first time, first fight, first makeup, first everything

Him and Raph are the dynamic duo but Mikey loves being coddled by Leo because big brother and littlest brother™️

But he feels most comfortable talking about unusual or somewhat embarrasing things with Donnie cause he always hits him with the “yes it’s perfectly normal because *long winded biology esplanation*”

Doesn’t like to cry in front of his brother but breaks apart with Splinter

He Loves™️ the sound of his name when it comes out of his s/o’s mouth. In every sense of the word, angry, happy, surprised, lustful etc

Donatello

Being a genius has its perks but man can it have its downsides.

He’s just ridiculously aware and that leads to many thoughts and those thoughts can turn very negative

He gets depressed pretty easily but he’s got that Keep on Keep Going attitude towards it. His s/o can catch on pretty quickly and there’s a struggle to reach him when his head is too clouded.

He is the Fix It type in all sense of the words. So he’s the bf that will listen to your problems and he’ll try and find a way around it to help you or at least give out a better point of view.

Which means he’s a great listener, like seriously he loves talking and he rambles but he loves when you do too

Loves to be caressed honestly. If his s/o runs a hand down his arms or thigh, if they caress his cheek or run a thumb across his lips.

He reads all manner of things tbh, from repair manuals to romance novels

Goes without saying, gamer boi. He loves doing mods, always wants to play on expert mode, smart sarcastic burns when he’s playing online and somebody is being an insensitive prick

He’s actually a really good sexter. He’s nervous physically cause self image issues but with reassurance etc he gets lowkey cocky

No necessarily the best cook but he’s not bad either. He does like to make you breakfast in bed.

Serotonin hiiiiigh when they bring him coffee

He loves late night drives, usually takes a Raph with him but once he gets his s/o it’s the two of you driving around New York. One some ocassions Raph tags along too

While they get along pretty good, him and Leo can butt heads a lot. It’s not a dick measuring contest like Leo and Raph. They just argue and Donnie gets a smart mouth and Leo well he can be a dick.

Regardless they make up pretty fast.

Leonardo

He’s got a smidge of OCD. He’s very particular of keeping things in a particular order that he knows and nobody really understands but it makes him happy.

Expert folder of clothing so everyone rejoices when it’s his turn to do laundry cause that mofo does some orgami like shit to everyone’s boxers

He reminds everyone to eat fruit and veggies, can’t be pizza every night

Yes he can be a hardass but he’s honestly an absolute softie with those he loves. He’s very attentive with everyone’s needs, especially Splinter

Rooftop star gazing, he likes to decompress and sometimes that means going somewhere by himself. When coupled up he loves doing this with his s/o and it’s a nice way to get some time to themselves

Listen Leo is boyfriend material, he’s husband material. It’s stupid how perfect he is when it comes to being someone’s partner. He remembers the little things like really dumb things that always guts his s/o.

He’s thought about if anything were to happen to him he’d want Raph to step up. Even if they argue and bicker and fight he knows Raph would set the world on fire if it meant protecting his loved ones.

Is learning Japanese and he so wants to see it someday. Has gotten pretty good at speaking it but reading it is still a little hard.

Has snuck into a flower shop after hours to get you a bouquet, it’s cool he leaves the money on the counter

When Casey and April had their first Big Fight™️ and she showed up and started bawling, everyone thought Raph was gonna end Casey but in reality it was Leo, that boy was seething if Donnie hadn’t played mediator it was gonna be ugly

Leo hates to see somebody he loves cry cause somebody was just being an ass

He loves game night and movie night

While he takes his leader duties seriously this boy will sleep away a day away. He’s tired af get him a blanket pls.

Raphael

Grumpy boi lives to exercise and lift weights but he does have other things he enjoys. He loves sneaking out an making his away around the city from rooftop to rooftop

As stated, best cook in the fam. This man takes pride in that. So as his s/o trust me you’re gonna be well fed

Although he will never admit he can’t fall a sleep without you like once y’all start dating and sleeping over he needs you there.

Mikey gets on his last nerve but Christ if anyone messes with him. Raph is ripping their necks. That’s his boy, he’ll always protect him, which is why whenever Leo starts going on Dad Mode he always sides with his little bro.

Sure he’s got his anger issues but honestly he’s probably one of the most sentimental of his brothers. So yeah cry angry but he’s just a ball of emotions and he doesn’t know how to manage them sometimes but he’s trying

He’s protective of Mikey but lord is he protective of April. Like honestly he gave Casey the big brother ‘if you break her heart I’m breaking ya neck’ speech and he fucking means it

Also, he’s really close with April. Those two are always talking and goofing about. He sees her as that little sister (or more so big sister) and he likes having a sister.

He’s super close with Donnie, they’ve often felt like outcast in their own ways. Raph likes helping out, he’s pretty handy.

[naralanis]

Fic Writer Review!

Thanks @mssirey for the tag! I totally didn't have a crisis with the very last question, not at all bwhahaha

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

41, soon to be 42. ASJKLDBLAHSDSD how. And also why. But mostly, how.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

565,934 EXCUSE ME WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I was going to check my unpublished works but ya know what. Maybe I've written enough akdjsa

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Technically speaking, I've written and published fics for five fandoms. However, I only have one story for OUAT (and I have @shadowdianne to thank for that... or do I?) and one for Captain Marvel. Mirandy was my first love, Cissamione the second, and Supercorp has burrowed in my brain and just won't let go.

I've also technically written for Xena, Legend of Korra, and Criminal Minds, but since I never published those, we're going to pretend they don't exist!

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Only two are WIPs! YEAH! They're the top two, but WHO CARES, here they are:

1) Perhaps, aka my baby, my child, my darling, the apple of my eye. If I ever had to choose to finish only ONE of my WIPs, this would be the one. This story has grown with me, and I think you can tell when you read. Or maybe not!

2) For the Better. If the former is my baby, this one is like... my moody teenager. I love it dearly, but... it takes a lot out of me. An ode to one of the first fandoms I actively wrote for, it sits unfinished, but nearly, oh so nearly done. I will finish it, damn ittt.

3) The Date. Honestly, this one really surprised me -- it's one of my oldest one-shots, and something I definitely dashed off between lectures back in Scotland, maybe alternating with FtB chapters. It's one of my first attempts at humour, I think.

4) Bits and Pieces. AYY, I wasn't sure Supercorp would make the cut, WOOOT! This one was the second Supercorp fic I ever wrote, and I did it because Lena Is Baby and the idea just wouldn't leave my brain.

And lastly, the fabulous number 5... Perfect. AKA Nara's First (published) Explicit Fic, featuring Praise Kink and an Enchanted Dildo (for... reasons). I'm not gonna lie, I am so HAPPY this one made it, because it has a special place in my heart. It's where Soft Butch Hermione comes to life, and if you don't love Soft Butch Hermione, I'm sorry, we can't be friends. I love her.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

Eeermmm... some? I do want to respond, but I'm terrible with keeping up with comments, I really am. For whatever reason, even when I do my best, I don't really love responding directly on AO3. I also turned off all email notifications for AO3 because turns out my brain WILL be distracted by even a single one.

I'm much more responsive on Tumblr, I promise!

6. A fic you've written with the angstiest ending:

Any of my Narlily works, I guess? Like... All Flowers Wither or Carry On.

Unshackled would be another one, though it's Cissamione... but I caved and made a happy(ish) second part for that one.

7. Do you write crossovers?

Nope! Crossovers just don't do it for me, generally speaking (reading or writing).

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

EvEr rEcEIvEd hAtE-- yes. Oh, yes. I've been told my writing is terrible, I've been told my stories were a 'waste of time,' or 'overhyped,' I've had people tell me there was only One Way to write a certain pairing and my way was definitely Not The Way.

The list goes on.

It used to really, really bother me--still does, but in a much smaller way. Delete/Block buttons are my friends.

9. Do you write smut?

I write an absurd amount of smut. I just don't publish any of it because. Fear.

My pretty, pretty pens have created some filthy, filthy things.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A couple of times -- only once or twice like, straight up attributed to someone else who acted like they were the one writing it. The other times were reposts or translations (without my permission, so still. stolen).

11. Ever had a fic translated?

I've authorized a couple of translations of a few of my DWP works. I'm usually cool with people translating my stuff IF THEY ASK ME FIRST and GIVE ME PROPER CREDIT.

9/10 it's some Brazilian who translates it to Portuguese without my permission and then gets upset when I, another Brazilian, do not endorse it and politely ask them to take the thing down. Thankfully it's been a while. ASK ME, DAMN IT.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Nothing published bwhaha!

13. All-time favourite ship?

Right now SuperCorp is definitely barking a little louder, so to speak, but I don't really have one favourite overall. It depends on the fandom, sometimes! Cissamione is very dear to my heart, because it's just so fucking out there and literally every one in this ship has some of the most fascinating headcanons for this pairing and it's just. So wonderful.

14. WIP you want to finish, but don't think you ever will?

Eeeeuuughhh.... Right now? Probably The Appraisal. I forget what I wanted to do with it, I'm not sure if I'm still feeling the premise... IDK.

I think the same could be said of For the Better, but I PROMISED to finish it, and GOD DAMN IT, I am so close I can't throw in the towel just yet.

15. Writing strengths?

You want ME to say good things about MYSELF? I'm still learning how to do that asldkjbasdn it's a work in progress. But I think I'd say... maybe world-building, at least on my longer works?

I would also like to think I do pretty OK in... IDK, some of the punchy stuff? The 'oh wait a minute' moment? IDK if that makes sense!

16. Writing weaknesses?

Organizing. Plot (HAHA IKR). Consistency. Editing (which is rich from someone who literally edits shit for a living... but go figure). Pacing. Weirdly long sentences? Commas for DAYS.

I could go on.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I am a-OK attempting it in French/Spanish/Portuguese. It may not sound natural, but it will be correct. If I'm trying another language, I'll definitely get help! But I've got no problem with it.

18. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Harry Potter, Dramione specifically, and you'll never find a shred of it. I was like 12, and almost a decade later I figured out Hermione was much better off with Draco's mother.

19. What's your fav fic you've written so far?

DON'T MAKE ME CHOOOSE asdkljasdl I CAAANNN'TTTT

I mean, obviously Perhaps is one of them -- it is my baby, that has been established. I think Little Bumps in the Road is also up there, because it was just a random writing exercise that got out of hand, and honestly? I'm here for it. Andddd.... I GUESS I'll put A Valentine's Evening up there as well, because it was the first time I didn't second guess every word I wrote when posting smut. I just... felt it, went for it, wrote it, and it felt really, really good to release some of that into the world lol

WHEW, this was a long one! I'll be tagging @intheinkpot, @shadowdianne, @delirious-comfort, and @16-pennies because I am a curious bastard. But, as always, feel free to treat this as an open tag. Go nuts!

[nbrook29]

11 goofy kiss pls<33

4, 7 for Sobbe omg👀💫👀💫 your talent kgnfjfnlfkf ...

Can you do 15 or 20? Or both for sobbe

Sooo this isn't really on the list of prompts but maybe you could write something about Robbe being totally obsessed with Sander's pouty bottom lip - whenever he sees it he has to pounce on it and kisses/bites/touches/pulls on it. Sander is either turned into a wreck or he teasingly indulges Robbe's obsession 

Hi! :)

based on But do you REALLY want the K?

Goofy kiss + Eyelid kiss + Distract kiss + Shut up kiss + Asker’s Choice

In hindsight, Robbe should have seen it coming.

When his school announced that they had received funding to organize free 6-month workshops for their students and local college students after hours, it got his interest right away. Especially when it turned out that the offered courses focused on more niche subjects.

Robbe has always felt some inexplicable fascination with Scandi culture, Norwegian in particular. In fact, ever since he discovered the multiverse theory he’s been half-convinced there must be a Norwegian version of him existing somewhere out there, which would explain this unusual interest of his. 

So when he was scanning the list of available courses and his eyes caught Norwegian 101, his heart beat a little faster and he giddily signed up right away.

And then Sander signed up too, claiming that a) if there’s a Norwegian version of Robbe there must be a Norwegian version of Sander too, thank you very much, so it is his duty to learn a little bit of his alter ego’s language, and b) it’s going to be a perfect opportunity for them to make up for the fact that they didn’t experience being in high school together. He’s always all pouty when he talks about it, mourning all those lost opportunities of them making out against a window sill in biology classroom or having secret meetings in the bathroom during class and demands compensation in the form of extra long makeout sessions in Robbe’s bed. 

Robbe doesn’t exactly mind, neither the joint classes nor kissing the pout away, which always effectively shuts him up. Quite the contrary actually. Ever since Sander texted him a screenshot of the participants list with DRIESEN SANDER under D, he’s been all hyped up at the prospect of the two of them studying together. 

His friends don’t exactly understand why he’s willing to spend his free time in their school building but at least Yasmina shows interest in the workshops as well, signing up for a few, Norwegian included.

He and Sander are the first ones to arrive to the Monday session, and when Sander notices that the classroom is still empty he wiggles his eyebrows grinning at Robbe cheekily, spins him around in a swift move and pins him to the window sill, his hands going around his thighs to make him sit down on it. 

“Is this everything you dreamed about and more?” Robbe chuckles at the delighted look on Sander’s face, legs snaking around his waist to hold him tighter.

“Yes, I got you right where I want you,” he replies smugly and doesn’t wait another second before pressing a tiny kiss to his lips, then another one, and another, until Robbe makes a soft noise of protest making Sander finally give in and kiss him properly, dipping his tongue past his lips in no time. Robbe lets one of his hands slip down, making his path down his back over the black denim jacket, stopping barely above Sander’s belt, and then without second-guessing himself goes down even lower to give his butt a firm squeeze, because it’s just so... deliciously squeezable.

They only break apart when they hear someone clearing their throat and when Robbe catches the sight of Yasmina regarding them with amusement, he quickly disentangles himself from Sander, wiping at his mouth with poorly hidden embarrassment. Sander is unfazed, as always, turning around with a swagger and shooting Yasmina one of his most charming smiles. She’s not a sucker for it though, contrary to Robbe, so she just fondly rolls her eyes shaking her head at their antics.

The classroom starts to fill in quickly after and before they realize the only empty seats left are placed in the back. Only Yasmina manages to snatch herself one closer to the front. Sander graciously allows Robbe to take the only unoccupied spot in the sixth row and he himself marches over to row eight.

The first hour and a half flies by and Robbe is having more fun than he anticipated. The teacher, Vilde, is young, she’s quirky in that positive way and her approach to the subject differs from what Robbe is used to during his regular classes. 

He takes notes diligently and tries to participate as much as possible but he struggles with pronunciation when asked for reading a few words out loud. When Vilde asks Sander to read them, he does it with flying colors, the jerk, and the girl is so impressed that she calls him a natural, praising his perfect pronunciation of “engelsk” and “kjole” while smiling a bit too much and too wide at him. In Robbe’s humble opinion. 

Once she goes back to writing on the board, he turns around to see Sander giving him a shit-eating grin so he does the only right thing in this situation and sticks his tongue out at him.

They are two hours in when Robbe gets hit in the ear with a small paper ball which then lands perfectly in the middle of his notebook. He throws a glance at the obvious suspect but Sander seems to be deep into copying the grammar rules from the board to his MacBook. 

His elegant handwriting gives him away though.

Du er digg 🖤

Vilde mentioned that last word just five minutes ago, more as a fun fact than anything else but of course Sander caught and remembered it.

He’s fighting against the beaming smile that threatens to take over his face because he doesn’t want to look like a lunatic to everybody around. Sander isn’t bothered by things like that though so when Robbe looks at him again he’s resting his chin on his hand, staring at him unabashedly with a grin of his own as he notices the flush on Robbe’s cheeks.  

He tells him as quietly as he can to quit distracting him to which Sander raises his arms in surrender and with a feigned-serious expression busies himself with the given exercise. If Robbe then tucks the note into the back of his notebook no one needs to know.

Not even a full five minutes pass when another paper ball lands on his desk. Robbe heaves a long-suffering sigh and raises his eyes to the heavens because yes, now he has to deal with a rebel of a boyfriend.

When he straightens out the note, he snorts.

Do you like me? 

Circle YES or NO

🖤

Seems like Sander is having lots of fun acting out this high school romance fantasy. 

He decides to indulge him and reaches for a red ink pen to circle YES. Then, he adds a bunch of crooked hearts (because he’s not the artist in this relationship) on a whim. Once he makes sure Vilde isn’t looking in their direction, he throws the note back to Sander, but not without catching the disapproving look from Yasmina who rolls her eyes so hard Robbe is surprised they aren’t stuck. He just shrugs at her without remorse. 

Sander opens the paper ball as delighted as a child opening their Christmas gift and when he sees the answer he pretends to swoon in his chair, blowing him a long kiss from above his notes.

“Sander, I think you should be paying attention.” Vilde’s reproach pulls Robbe from gazing at his boyfriend like a love-struck puppy and he immediately shoots him a cheeky grin because it’s just really satisfying to watch him being scolded by a teacher.  

“Yes, yes, you’re right,” Sander clears his throat as he straightens on his chair before he glances at his laptop and adds with a smirk, “Or, rather, Du har rett, Vilde.”

Then he winks at her and his confident demeanor clearly succeeds to appease her because she starts to wax lyrical about his oh so amazing pronunciation again.

Ugh. What a show off.

Though, Robbe has to admit that it sounds kinda hot when he speaks Norwegian but it’s not like he’s going to go and tell him that. Instead, he reaches for his phone to shoot him a quick text.

R: You’re such a teacher’s pet oh my god

R: Also stop flirting with her, she’s seconds away from swooning 

S: Are we jealous?

R: Yes, very, I’m worried you’re gonna run away to norway with her and have viking children together 🤭

S: 😘

There is no bell signaling the end of the class but at 17:15 Vilde thanks them for today’s lesson and everybody starts to pack and gradually leave. Robbe is shoving his stuff into his backpack when he feels fingers in his hair pulling his head back without real force to angle it better. Then, Sander places a big loud smooch on his lips making him giggle and swipe at him lightly.

“You’re such a dork.”

He reaches to put the strands hanging over his forehead back in their place, scratching at his scalp a little and when Sander leans into the touch, closing his eyes with a pleased purr, he stands on his tiptoes and presses a tiny kiss to his left eyelid, which earns him one of Sander’s sweetest smiles. 

Once his bag is packed, they leave the classroom with their index fingers entwined, swaying their hands a little as they walk. “So, did you like that class?” 

Sander nods. “Yeah, it was cool. You?”

“You know, I thought those three hours are gonna be a bitch but it was actually pretty fucking nice.”

Sander pushes his tongue in his cheek, wiggling his eyebrows at him. “And did you like my notes?”

Robbe pretends to scrunch up his face, trying not to laugh at Sander’s offended huff. “Hey! Well, okay then, if you’re like that I’m not gonna send you any next time.”

He juts out his bottom lip and honestly, it’s Robbe’s kryptonite, and he’s long made peace with a fact that he’s weirdly obsessed with it; it’s just so plush and enticing and he has spent hours upon hours kissing and biting it, the fact that it made Sander go weak in the knees for him an additional bonus.

So Robbe uses it against him to distract him from pouting, and this time it’s him who pushes Sander against the wall close to the school exit. He pulls their bodies together, delighted at the surprised hitch in Sander’s breath when he sticks out his tongue to drag it along his bottom lip, pulling it with his teeth to nip it a little, to then soothe the sting with his tongue again. He can feel his ministrations are starting to work and with each second Sander is turning into a pile of goo in his arms. 

A voice in the back of his head tells him the school corridor is probably not the best place for this so he eventually pulls back and drags him away from the wall to the school yard. Sander follows him but not without half-hearted protests that stop only when Robbe kisses him hard to shut him up in the middle of the school yard.

“Come on, there’s a bed in my room with our names on it and my mom works until 20 tonight.”

“Is there a shower with our names on it too?”

“If you’re good,” Robbe pretends to think about it, “then I guess that can be arranged.”

[aizawa-needs-coffee]

Hi!! Could I have a matchup please? I'm 18, pronouns she/her, I'm fine w any gender though I have a preference for males

If its of any relevance, physically I'm about 5'8 tall and on the chubby side, green eyes, brown hair (with blonde streaks) and I wear glasses

If you're into astrology/ mbti, I am a Sagittarius w both moon and rising in Cancer and I'm INFP

So I'm quite emotional lol. Usually very in touch with my emotions and quite perceptive of other's feelings as well. I have a huge saviours complex especially when it comes to feelings (i love helping others figure out their feelings, being a shoulder to cry on or even offering comforting hugs) but I try my best to keep it control cause I don't wanna be suffocating

On the outside I'd say I'm fairly organized, I keep my room clean and all of that, I'm a lil bit of a perfectionist but mentally I'm all over the place. I tend to get carried away by thoughts and emotions and end up procrastinating a lot; anxiety makes it all worse. In short, I suck at time management

To most people I may seem quiet and reserved but I actually really enjoy talking to people; I'm really insecure about not being funny or interesting enough tho. Around my friends I'm more relaxed but still have moments of self doubt

I can also be quite obsessive. If something really catches my interest I won't stop until I search all there is to know about it. For example I watched bnha, read the manga, the spin offs etc all in less than a month and now I'm indulging in fanart and fanfics because I need m o r e c o n t e n t hsbsb. I'm also that kind of person that listens to a new song they like on repeat until they hate it. Speaking of music, I can't say I have a taste lol. My fave genres are rock, pop and indie but I hear smth I like, I listen to it, whether its "high quality" music, basic or weird. Lately I've been listening to a lot of epicore which is literally the type of music thats used in fantasy and sci fi movies askfkdk

I like expressing myself through writing, singing and dancing but I really can't say I'm talented at either of those, it's all in good fun. I also enjoy reading (fiction, non-fic books bore me like hell; my fave genres are fantasy, sci fi and crime) but I haaate literature in school. I'm actually a bit of a math nerd and this year I'm starting uni, studying computer science!! Oh! I've also taken drama classes for 2 years (despite the fear I loved being on stage and plan on starting again once I'm done w the baccalaureate), I love playing D&D and while I woulnd't quite call myself a gamer, I love role playing video games. I'm also almost always down for any kind of multiplayer video games w friends although I have no experience

I'm not a sportive person, I go on walks or do a few exercises every now and then at home but I'm willing to try stuff out like a new sport or going to the gym w an s/o. I do plan on starting self defense classes soon and maybe taking up sword fighting (I love swords hehe)

Tbh I've never been in a relationship so I'm not really sure how I would act w an s/o, nor what I'm exactly looking for. I best express my affection through physical touch tho and that includes my friends so I'd like someone who isn't bothered or can get used to that (s/o would still receive the most hugs/ cuddles etc). I'm not that comfortable w the other love languages for friends and family, but I think I'd be a lot more eager to express my love through them for s/o. If I'm on the receiving end, my weakness is still physical touch :)) but I also need words of affirmation every now and then cause insecurities 🌠 and while I wouldn't ask for anything, especially objects, I am a hoarder and I'd keep any kind of gift like its a national treasure simply bc its from someone I love.

In addition, it doesn't really matter if s/o is more on the emotional or rational side a long as they dont invalidate my feelings; it angers me a lot and makes me feel even more insecure. I tend to isolate when I'm really really upset about something so I need a lil bit of pushing to talk abt it; I'm open to talk abt my feelings but I need the verbal confirmation that they care and wanna help, its not just cause they're being nice

Wow that is a lot of rambling jeez ajsjsjs sorry. Thank you so much if you've read throught that all and ty for the match up!!

Me and my wife literally having a ten minute debate on who we’d pair you with before I made my choice. Thanks for all the details and I hope you enjoy the match up!

I match you with Sero

I feel he’s outgoing and extroverted enough to help you with your anxiety and always reassure you that you are good at things and he does love you, he’s also so chill and laid back that even if you were clingy he’d not mind, he’d embrace it, his chill nature would help balance you. He would help you feel grounded and have a ‘you don’t have to do it all now’ attitude but would happily help you out. You need help going to the store? He remembers the list you wrote, having trouble fitting in lunch while you study? He’ll come to your door with pizza.

He’s determined and outgoing but isn’t aggressively positive and loud either which I think is why I picked him over Kirishima for you.

+++

“Hey babe, whatcha reading?” Sero asked sitting next to you on the sofa, he handed you a soda which you gratefully took, not looking up from your laptop screen.

As soon as he was sat down comfortably your hand grabbed his, clasping your fingers together as you managed to tear your gaze away from the Wikipedia page which was still open. You blinked up at him and shook your head.

“Oh just something I learned about today and wanted to do some.. extra reading” you explained.

He nodded his head and drank his soda watching as your face lit up as you started to ramble about the topic, he didn’t really know much about it but the way you told him about everything, the way you happily expressed your interest towards the topic made him happy. He gave you his big grin when you finished.

“Sorry, I rambled..” You felt bad, you always felt nervous when you info dumped on people.

“Nah, it’s cool, I didn’t mind at all” he brought your hand up to his face and gave it a kiss, your face flushed at the gentle gesture which caused Sero to laugh playfully.

“Well, if your sure… I just wanted something to take my mind off chores”.

“It’s the weekend, you don’t have to rush anyway.. and if you don’t feel better by tomorrow I can help, you can wash the dishes and I’ll dry?” he suggested still peppering kisses on the back of your hand before you set your laptop down and crawled closer to him.

You nodded softly, that sounded a lot more manageable, you felt your anxiety settle down from a raging nagging feeling to something easier to tolerate. He was such a good influence on you. Sero set down his drink and wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer to his chest.

“The guys want to come over and say hi later, maybe get pizza… but I can tell them not tonight if you aren’t feeling it… maybe you can play that new game you got? I liked watching you play the other night” He suggested as he nuzzled your head, enjoying how your hair felt on his face.

“Maybe… can I give you an answer later?”

“Yeah, no rush babe”

You smiled softly feeling the lanky boy kiss the side of your head and listened as you carried on talking about the trivia of your current interest.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Handler Todd and 435689: Papers

Here are the results of my live-write exercise! It was super cool! That was a lot of fun and I hope the process was an enjoyable for you guys as it was for me to have you hang out and chat with me while I worked!

CW: Referenced whump of a minor (minor is not whumped during piece). Pet whump, institutionalized slavery. Some gross language regarding said minor. Character is 16. 

“I don’t get it, ‘689.” Todd’s voice was weary, and the boy looked worriedly up at him, struggling to keep up with the taller man’s much longer strides - especially with the way he couldn’t quite put all his weight on his feet leg just now and had to kind of hop-walk down the hall just behind him. “Why bother? You don’t even know that other one’s number, and he had to be at least five years older than you.”

The boy swallowed, hands moving as though they would shove themselves into front pockets, but there weren’t any pockets in the black cloth shorts that were the only pants the boy ever remembered wearing. Finally, he just let them hang awkwardly down at his sides. “Is… is that a question, Handler?” He asked, keeping his voice pitched low.

“What? Yeah, ‘course it is,” Todd said, his eyes scanning the hallways as they walked.

Everything looked the same to the boy - it was always white, and nothing changed. It felt like they went a different way every time they took him somewhere - to the handlers’ training rooms, to the Clean Room where the boy learned to scrub floors until the grout shone white, to the Bad Room.

The handlers didn’t call it the Bad Room - the trainees did.

They kept the Table in the Bad Room.

“What, uh…” The boy cleared his throat, his voice kept trying to shake whenever he had to put his right foot down to walk. The handler didn’t notice, but the boy didn’t mind - they were always hurt, the handlers probably just assumed they were unless they were told otherwise. “What’s the-... the question?”

Handler Todd finally stopped, letting out a low sigh and turning to look down at him. “You are the shortest fucking Box Boy I’ve ever seen, and you’re definitely the youngest. Why’d you stick your neck out for someone who’s bigger, older, and stronger than you? You could’ve been seriously hurt, kiddo!”

The open concern in Handler Todd’s voice felt… so good. It felt so good to hear someone worry about him. Handler Todd was the only one who ever did.

“Well, he… he needed help. He didn’t mean to trip like that, it’s just, you know… we get so cold, here, it’s hard to walk. They shouldn’t have… punished him. It was just an accident.”

“‘689…” Handler Todd sighed again, and something about the way he did it sounded so familiar. It rang a bell in the boy’s mind, warm arms around him and that same soft sigh. He could almost hear a voice that went with it, if he tried.

Almost - but the headache got him, first. The boy winced, and the moment was gone.

“Look. I’m… I’m doing what I can to keep you off the radar of some of the… other guys, but you gotta help me out, here.” Handler Todd put a hand on the boy’s shoulders on either side, and he looked up into Todd’s eyes, his kind face, and he thought, I wish all of us could have handlers like you.

“I don’t like that they hurt us, though,” The boy said, setting his jaw. “That’s not fair.”

I don’t know who gave you that stubbornness, it sure didn’t come from my side of the family.

Headache again. This time, Handler Todd caught his wince and put a hand up to the side of his face, cool and calming. Training took over, and the boy leaned heavily into the touch, pressing his head into it like a cat.

Handler Todd jerked his hand back and away. “Shit. I forgot you guys do that, I’m… I’m sorry.”

“Do what?” The boy blinked, confused. “What… what did I do?”

“Uh… nothing. No, you’re good, ‘689. Look, I figured… I know that you’ve had a rough few weeks, and I thought… I don’t know.” Something passed over Handler Todd’s face, a shadow of sadness the boy didn’t understand. “I thought you could maybe use a break. For a while.”

The boy stepped closer to Handler Todd instinctively, crossing his arms in front of himself. His right leg burned but he forced his weight to rest on it, to prove that he wasn’t as hurt as he looked. The cane wasn’t so bad, there were worse ways you could get punished. “I’m okay,” He said, making sure to put a little hint of a plea there, a whine. The handlers liked when you sounded like you were begging. “I don’t need a break, sir, I’m, I’m okay. I don’t want to go back to my room, I can keep training, I can-”

Handler Todd swallowed and backed slightly away from him, but the boy followed him, trying to press into his space a little, to show that he was fine. “No… hey. No, kiddo. Look, you just-... can you just stay at arms’ length for a sec? I don’t mean go back to your room, I promise.”

“Can I… can I sleep on a mat? In the training room?” The boy brightened at that. That was a special reward, you only got to sleep on the heated mats in the training rooms if you did really, really well that day. The boy couldn’t remember the last time he’d done more than doze, really, he was never good for long enough.

They were always hurting some other trainee, and the boy was always trying to stop them.

“I can do you one better, kiddo,” Handler Todd said, his own expression softening into a slight smile as he saw the hopefulness on the boy’s face. “I can take you outside.” He pointed to a door with a passcode lock at the end of the hallway. It looked exactly like every other door the boy had ever seen, with AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY written on it.

The boy could still read - he knew some of the others couldn’t, any longer, but he could.

“Out… outside?” The boy’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and he gnawed nervously on his lower lip, looking at the door again. It didn’t look like a door to outside… and they all knew that outside wouldn’t ever happen until you were bought. And even then your owner might decide to keep you locked up and that was okay, too, because you only existed the way they wanted you to…

“Truly. I promise. Look, I had to… call in a couple favors to make this happen, but… you’ve earned it, kiddo.” Handler Todd hesitated, that weird sad look on his face again. “Shit, you know, there’s… there’s more of you who deserve a good fucking day outside without any of this bullshit than I, I knew… but fuck. You know?”

The boy blinked at him. There was a silence.

“... right, no you don’t. Okay. Look, I’ll try and explain a bit more once we’re out there, okay? Just close your eyes.”

The boy obediently shut his eyes and lifted his chin, just slightly, but all the handler did was take him carefully by the wrist and lead him down the hall, moving more slowly this time. The chill air that came through the vents, endlessly recycled and recirculated, smelling stale and musty, made the boy shiver. He was never anything but cold here, except when Handler Todd would hug him sometimes. Nobody else hugged him.

Don’t mind us, the weird voice he heard sometimes said, somewhere far back in his mind, behind the wall they’d built inside him. We’re all huggers in this family.

He had to stop this or his headache was going to get really bad. The boy focused on his steps, the twinge of pain up his right leg, the ache in his ribs from getting kicked, the way his back throbbed from being caned there, too. If he focused on the pain they gave him, he could forget the pain in his head, and forget what the pain tried to bring with it.

Handler Todd’s grip on his wrist, though, was warm, and not too tight - Handler Todd never hurt him, ever, even when he was angry and defiant and deserved it - and the boy smiled, faintly, as he was led.

Then he heard the soft beeping of the passcode - three short beeps, two long ones, although he didn’t know why or what it meant - and the metallic sound of Handler Todd turning the long handle on the door.

A blast of heat.

The boy didn’t think he’d ever felt hot air before.

Then the light hit, turning the black behind his closed eyes a kind of brownish red, and the boy flinched back from it, a soft worried sound deep in his throat. “H-Handler-”

“It’s okay, kiddo. It’s okay.” Handler Todd let go of his wrist only to step up close to him, and the boy melted into his side as quickly as he could, chasing the safety. Handlers were safe. They  might hurt you, but it was to make you learn - and besides, Handler Todd never hurt him. He was the safest handler of all of them.

Todd slid an arm around the boy’s shoulders and said softly, “Open your eyes. Blink a few times, kiddo, you need to remember sunlight, it can kind of hurt if you come out from the inside light too fast.”

The boy cracked open one eye, and finally two. The light pierced eyes that hadn’t seen it before, felt hot on skin that was only ever cold, now. The world around him began to come into some kind of focus, and he pushed harder into Todd, worried, eyes darting around at the world outside the Facility.

“Am I… am I allowed out here?” He asked, in a hush.

“No,” Handler Todd said. “So this is our little secret, okay? Just you and me?”

Our little secret.

The boy fought the cold rush of fear at the words. Nobody bothered him, not since Handler Todd started talking to him, but he’d heard handlers say those words before, to the other trainees, and… “What… what kind of secret?”

“Huh?” Todd blinked down at him, confused, then looked back out at the world. “Just don’t tell them I brought you outside, kiddo. I’ll get written up for sure for something like this, and you do not want the Director on your ass for breaking rules. Come on, I want to show you something.”

Todd pulled the boy off to the side, and he stared around himself in wonder. There was a giant parking lot that stretched forever, he thought - or at least until it hit a road, and he could hear traffic but not see it somewhere over that direction. There was a green sign that stood tall above everything else, and the boy squinted at it.

STARBUCKS

What was a Starbucks?

Then they had gone through a small gate to a fenced-in area, and the green sign was gone. Instead… the boy stared around at a small courtyard, with benches and kind of a covered area and grass.

He didn’t realize he had fallen to his hands and knees to feel at the grass until he heard Handler Todd laughing, sort of chuckling to himself, as he closed the gate behind them. “It’s been awhile, huh?”

Grass was spiky but soft, both at the same time. Must’ve rained, the boy thought, and wasn’t sure where the thought came from, only knew that the pain followed in its wake. He slowly laid his head down until his cheek brushed the blades of grass, moving it back and forth, humming to himself.

Handler Todd walked away from him, giving him space, and took a seat up on the table part of a picnic table, pulling a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out. He watched the boy moving slowly over the grass, taking a long drag and then blowing the smoke out thoughtfully. “What do you think?”

“I think you could put a garden here,” The boy said, then winced. “Ow.”

“Yeah, don’t think too hard, kiddo. I know we take that out of you.” Todd sighed, still smoking, taking quick drags. “Shit, my nerves are shot working here these days. I was okay before I realized some of you are so young, but I can’t just… fucking quit, can I?”

The boy realized after a moment’s pause that Handler Todd apparently expected him to answer. He looked up from inspecting a violet, pressing his fingertip against the soft petals, and said, “Can’t you?”

“Ha. Right. My kids need insurance and there’s no company in the state gives a high-school graduate benefits like this. Plus, I mean, you can’t beat the vacation time, the paid time off, I just…” He trailed off, slowly, and looked over at the boy.

Kneeling on the grass holding a violet he’d picked between thumb and forefinger, the boy wore the white shirt and black trainee shorts and the wide-band shock collar around his neck. He blinked at the handler, then looked slowly around himself.

“What? Did I… is something… is something wrong?”

“No… I mean, yes, but not anything you did. Come over here, kiddo.”

The boy jumped instantly to his feet, ignoring the pain that shot up his right leg - push it back in your head, it doesn’t matter, it’s just going to hurt and you just have to find a way to keep going when it does. He moved quickly to Handler Todd and stood in front of him in Position One, sliding instinctively into the straight-backed posture with his hands behind his back, eyes slightly lowered. “Yes, sir?”

“Look. I didn’t actually… bring you out here because you, uh, got punished today. That was kind of… you definitely need to stop throwing yourself in front of other trainees, but… that’s not why we’re here.”

The boy nodded, slowly, confused.

“Look, you, uh… um. Shit. I’m not sure how to say this. I’m not gonna see you much longer, kiddo.”

The boy’s head jerked up, wide brown eyes focusing on the handler’s, searching for some sign that he was joking, or lying. He stepped forwards, dropping onto his knees on the picnic bench, looking up at Handler Todd, who scooted slightly back, putting more space between them. “Did you… are you leaving, sir? B-but… but no one else is nice, you’re-... you’re the only one who’s nice to me, I don’t get to talk to anyone else…”

“Hey, no. I’m not leaving.” Todd stubbed out his cigarette half-smoked and set it aside, then put his hands back at the boy’s shoulders, rubbing at them gently with his thumbs. “I’m not going anywhere, kiddo.”

“But you said-”

“You are.”

The sun shone hot on his back, made the top of his head feel deliciously warm as it soaked into his dark brown hair. He could smell the earth and grass all around him, and even smell Handler Todd’s cologne, sort of strong and he hadn’t liked it at first, but now it meant safety like no other scent did. “... what?”

“You, uh. You got papers, today.” Todd smiled at him, but it was fainter this time, it wasn’t a smile he meant. Papers meant owners, which was good, but Todd didn’t look like it was good. He looked like… like…

He looked like when you found out your grandpa died, and Mom smiled like this when she said, “At least he’s in a better place,” and you wondered what place, and-

The boy pitched forward, groaning as the lance of pain in his head seemed to ricochet through him, throwing his arms around Handler Todd’s waist and holding tight. Handler Todd leaned forward and slid arms around his neck and held him, too, mistaking his pain for fear, murmuring soft comforting things while the boy tried to stop the aberrant thought from digging its claws too deep.

“Who bought me?” He whispered into Handler Todd’s shirt collar, the rough scratchy fabric that he hated but kind of liked, when it was Todd. “What are they like? Are they gonna be nice to me?”

Todd took a deep, deep breath. The boy felt him drawing the air slowly into his lungs, holding it, and just as slowly letting it out. His arms tightened around the boy’s shoulders, drawing him up a little bit so he was standing on his knees on the bench, his head tucked into Handler Todd’s neck. “A man bought you as a gift for his friend.”

The boy nodded, slowly. This was why he was here, what he was made for, to go to an owner at the end of training. He should be happy about it, but he felt cold, instead. Scared to leave Todd, and scared to leave the white room and the hallways, scared to leave the rules he knew and go live in a new place with new rules he didn’t.

“I’m still… I still get to be a Domestic, right?”

“Right. You’ll be her Domestic. Just like we talked about, just like training.”

“But… I’m not done with training.”

That deep breath again. The boy pulled back, chanced a look up at Todd’s face, and caught an odd glittery look in his eyes. “I know,” Todd said gently. “I know you’re not. But the, um. The order was to send someone… unfinished.”

Confusion, again. Pets weren’t supposed to ask questions, but the boy was pretty bad at remembering that rule, and Todd never punished him for talking too much like the others did, so… he thought it was safe to ask one more. “Why?”

Todd opened his mouth to answer, then closed it again. “You’re a fighter,” Todd said, finally. “You fit the profile. Young, dark brown hair and brown eyes, pale skin, and… defiant. The man who bought you wants to give his friend a, uh… someone who will be defiant to her.”

“I don’t… I don’t understand,” The boy said, in a voice just above a whisper. “We’re not supposed to be defiant. I’m, I’m bad when I talk back, it’s bad that I can’t stop… why… why would they want-”

“Look,” Todd cut in, and the boy flinched, ducking his head down. “Shit, I’m sorry. No, I didn’t mean to sound mad. I’m not mad, kiddo, I promise. Hey. Hey, look at me. Look up at me.” The boy slowly raised his eyes, and Todd took his chin in his fingers, keeping his head tilted up to make eye contact. His voice went low, and soft. “I’m not mad at you. This just… I’m just mad that you’re being sent off on purpose when you’re not done, and that my complaint went nowhere and I’m kind of worried about some shit I didn’t realize was in my contract, and… I’m not mad, I promise.”

“Is it that I get to finish learning with my owner? Is that why?” The boy guessed, and thought maybe he’d guessed right when the shadow passed over Todd’s face again, and he didn’t answer. He just pulled the boy in closer and held onto him. The faint smell of cigarette smoke clung to his shirt and his skin, and the boy kind of liked it, on him.

“Yeah,” Todd said, finally, resting his chin on the boy’s hair. “Yeah, I’m sure that’s it. Maybe she just wants one-on-one, she hasn’t… done that in a long time. She probably doesn’t know how young you are. Shit, no, she does. I’m sure she does, because she knew they did that to you, she knew it and she told me I was making too big a deal out of nothing… fuck.” He sighed, and the boy wondered how many ways there were to sigh, because it felt like Todd knew all of them.

“So it’s, it’s a woman?” The boy frowned, trying to piece together what Handler Todd was saying, but none of it made any sense. A man bought him for a woman, because he wasn’t done, because he was defiant, but the woman knew about it, and knew about… something…

When the boy tried to think about it too much, the headache threatened around the edges, along with an awful rolling fog. He closed his eyes tightly, and forced himself to forget.

“Yeah… well, kind of. Or some kind of fucking predatory lizard wearing a person suit,” Todd muttered, bitterly.

“... what?”

“Nothing. Nothing, kiddo. I just, you know, I don’t… know what it’s going to be like, when you go home for the first time. So I thought maybe you would, uh, just like to see somewhere kind of nice for a while. But, hey, she’s already got two others, so you’ll have friends, right?”

The boy knew the answer to this one, and the words rolled instantly off his tongue, effortless and easy. “Pets don’t make emotional connections with other pets, they are designed to connect with their owners to the exclusion of-”

“Okay, okay, okay, quit it. I don’t need to hear that. I know you know it. But that’s a lie, pets get attached to each other all the time. We don’t like the owners to know it, but…” Todd shrugged. “Talk to your other ones, when you get there, okay? They’ll help you settle in and learn what to… what to expect. From her.”

The boy nodded, relieved. He could learn from them, and maybe he could be good enough that whoever she was would like him.

“Hey, um… sir?” He twisted his fingers into Todd’s shirt, slipping into the space between two buttons along the front and feeling the rough cotton against his fingers. “Can I… can I ask… something?”

Todd didn’t move away from him, this time, and the boy had never felt so warm in his life - being held by someone in the sunshine, out in the fresh air. He was warm inside and out, even with his fear, even not knowing who he would go to.

But you had to go to someone eventually.

What else was he even made for, if not that?

“Sure, kiddo. Fire away.” Todd’s eyes kept skipping down to the half-smoked cigarette, itching to pick it back up and light it again. The boy followed his gaze, frowning slightly, and then he pulled back, reaching across Todd’s leg to pick up the cigarette himself.

Handler Todd stared at him as the boy picked up the lighter, too, and flicked it open, thumb effortlessly pressing the little pad there just right to bring up the flame. “Since when do you fucking know how to do that?”

The boy put the end of the cigarette against the flame, then blinked and looked up. “I don’t know.”

Todd took the cigarette, and laughed - but it was barely a sound, and hardly a smile, and the boy didn’t really think it was a laugh he meant at all.

“Ask me your question, kiddo. What’s up?”

“Do I, um.” He watched the cloud of smoke as Todd exhaled, stinging his eyes and making the boy cough. Todd apologized, clapping his back until he hit a sore spot and the boy winced at that, too. Finally, his voice a little strained, the boy said softly, “Do I still get to see you, when I go home?”

Todd was silent.

In a tree nearby, a bird sang, and the boy thought, yellow bird with black wings, 9 letters, starts with G. Ow.

“... no, kiddo,” Todd finally said, and when the boy’s mouth trembled a little in response, Todd kept his eyes firmly turned away. “That’s not… that’s not how it works. Look, I shouldn’t have been doing this anyway. Half my coworkers think I’m fucking you, for Christ’s sake.”

“... half your coworkers don’t have much r-room to talk,” The boy said, and felt heat burning behind his eyes when Todd looked at him, surprised, and smiled.

“Shit, kid. I think when you come in so young you’re more resilient, more of you sticks. Hold onto that for me, yeah? Maybe… maybe her other ones will be nice, that’d be good for you. Look, I… I’m sorry this shit turned out the way it did. I wouldn’t work here if I’d have known they were taking you guys in against your will. Not that me not working here would fix your problems…”

“I, I want you working here, though,” The boy said quickly, a little desperately. “You’re nice to me, nobody else is nice to me. I want there to be nice people here, for us.”

Todd groaned and leaned forward, slowly resting his head on the boy’s shoulder. The boy held onto him tightly, tears burning in his eyes even though he was supposed to be happy, because… because Handler Todd had made things a little better, and he kind of didn’t want to go home.

“It’d be easier for you all if none of us were,” Todd mumbled without raising his head. “Jesus fuck, kid, this job is fucking killing me. I’m helping you kids out the best I can, but there’s nothing I can do, and I hate that I can’t… just go, either. I just… I can’t think of anyone worse than the goddamn Director to own a kid as good as you.”

The boy’s heart froze.

“... the Director?”

Clicking heels on cold tile floors. Awful eyes, that bright red hair. Smiles that never seemed like more than muscles moving to try and fake an expression she didn’t really feel. Black cane in hand with a silver tip.

Are we going to have a problem, 435689?

“... shit,” Todd said, just as the boy pulled back, jerked himself back all at once, lost his balance and collapsed backwards off the bench onto the ground, scrambling back in a panic. “Shit, I wasn’t supposed to-... I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry, kid, shit-”

“The, the… the, wait, no-... but, but she can’t-...” The boy’s throat constricted, he could feel the way she looked at him, the weight of her eyes because she only showed up when he was at his worst and then, and then… “The Director is who I go to?”

The fear built and built and built inside of him, pressure that threatened to shred him apart, and finally the pressure broke. The boy curled in on himself in the grass and opened his mouth in a scream, but he couldn’t find the breath to make the sound.

Everyone was scared of the Director - everyone.

In a place where everyone hurt you, the Director hurt you the worst.

He made the face into the ground, he didn’t know for how long, trying to breathe in the scent of the soil and the grass again to calm himself, but all he could think of was the Table, when he was really bad and kept hurting handlers trying to get out, and they brought her.

Click, click, click click, heels on tile floors, and some of the boys that went with her never came back to their rooms.

Todd gently laid a hand on his back, and the boy jerked back and away from him with a cry, half-convinced it was her, only to look up into Todd’s worried, kind eyes.

Not kind enough to save him.

“I’m sorry, kiddo, I shouldn’t have told you.”

“I don’t want to go with her,” The boy whispered, and was surprised to find there were already tears on his face. He wiped at them hurriedly with grass-stained fingers, leaving a little green streak along one cheekbone. “I don’t want to be owned by her. I don’t want-”

Todd glanced up and beyond him, out towards the parking lot, and his jaw set in a grim line. Then he looked back at the boy and said, in a slightly harsher voice, “Want isn’t important for you.”

“Hey, Todd, what you got in there?” Another handler’s voice called, too close, and the boy flinched forwards into the arm Todd slid effortlessly around him.

“Just snuck this one out for a while,” Todd said, a smile in his voice, a mean one. The way the other handlers smiled. “Gets a little loud in there, you know? Plus, I needed a cigarette and I wanted something to look at while I smoked.”

“Ha, fair enough. You better get back in, though, we’re due for one of those meeting things again.” The other handler swung the little gate to the courtyard open, and the boy cringed back into Handler Todd’s side at the look in his sparkling dark eyes. “Oh, pretty one. I’ve never seen him before.”

“You don’t exactly work with these, Manning. Come on, let’s get inside. I’ll drop him off at his room.” Todd got to his feet, pulling the boy up after him.

The other handler grinned at the sight of the boy pressed against Handler Todd’s side, staring at him with frightened eyes. “Didn’t have you pegged for this to be your type, Todd.”

“Yeah, well. You don’t know shit about me, Connor,” Todd snapped, pulling the boy right past him to head for the door. “Next time, don’t interrupt me with one of them, yeah?”

“What the fuck ever, man. Don’t get so fucking testy.” Connor gave a low wolf-whistle, then laughed when the boy flinched again at the sound. “He’s neat. Man, I would happily pull overtime for that-”

“He’s sixteen years old, Manning,” Todd said flatly.

There was a long silence.

“Okay, never mind that. I’m fucked up but I’m not that fucked up. I mean. You are, but-”

“Shut up.” Todd pulled the boy back inside, closing the door behind them right in the other handler’s face. “There, now he’ll have to go around to the front.” He turned to look at the boy, tilting his head, lifting his hand to wipe the grass stain away with his thumb. “You okay, kid?”

“No,” The boy said, in a very small voice. “I don’t… I don’t think I’m okay.”

“Yeah… that’s probably not the smartest question I could ask.” The air was already beginning to chill the boy’s skin, wiping away the warmth he’d had from the sun and from Handler Todd’s arms around him. He’d felt safe, for just a second, and now he felt like he was about to be pushed off a cliff. “I guess what I mean is… is there anything I can do for you, before you go back to your room?”

“Help me,” The boy said, softly, looking up searchingly into Todd’s eyes, grabbing onto his shirt again. “Help me not go to her. I don’t, I don’t want to go home with the Director. Get me s-someone else, someone else can, can buy me, right? Someone else?”

“Man already paid his balance upfront,” Todd said softly. “It doesn’t work that way. I’m sorry.”

The boy felt goosebumps break out over his skin, the first real shiver of chill from being back in the frozen air. He hadn’t realized until Todd had brought him outside what it even felt like to not be shivering anymore.

Suddenly, the boy hated Todd more than anything, for taking him out there and then telling him he was going home with the Director. Todd had ruined the sun, and the grass, and the bench and the sign across the street, he had ruined all of it.

Why be nice if you were only going to do the worst thing of all?

“I want to go back to my room,” The boy said, lips moving numbly, pushing sound out, but he was only dimly aware of it. “Take me, take me back to my room, please.”

“Are you sure? I could maybe get you time for a nap while we do our meeting, on the training mats-”

“I want to go to my room,” The boy said again, his chest tight and heavy, heart pounding. “I want to, I want to be alone in my room now, please. Please just, just take me back to my room, I want to go to my room, I want-...”

I want to go home.

I don’t want to be here.

I don’t want this.

I want my life back.

“Kid, calm down, it’s not going to be that bad-... no, shit, that’s not-... fuck. Okay. Look, if you just-”

“Fuck you!” The boy shouted the words, and heard them echo down the hall, before he even understood he had spoken. He clapped his own hands over his mouth, eyes wide as he stared up at Todd, breathing in gasps.

Todd stared at him wide-eyed. He didn’t look mad, or even upset. He just looked… surprised. “What?”

The boy’s hands slowly dropped when no punishment seemed to be coming, and he swallowed, hard. “I, I said… I said… I said fuck you. You, you think you’re nicer but y-you’re not, because you… you just-... you make me remember people can be nice but you don’t help me!”

“I, I can’t, kid, I have to think about my family-”

“I had a family, too!” Todd grabbed at him and the boy tried to push away, but the handlers were always so strong, and he was crushed against Todd whether he liked it or not, trying weakly to push back, finally giving up and burying his face into Todd’s shirt, feeling it go slowly damp as he cried. “I had a family, too, why do you get a family but I don’t?”

“Shit,” was all Todd said.

But he held him, and it wasn’t nearly enough, but it was something.

They stood there - the boy didn’t know how long - until his crying calmed down, until he was breathing the smell of cigarette smoke and cologne and it was a good smell, the only good smell here, and the boy didn’t feel any better for shouting.

He just felt… empty.

And scared.

“Will you still come visit me and, and be my handler, until I… go?”

He felt Todd nod against his hair, the arms around him tighten again. “Yeah, kiddo. I will. I’ll be the last handler you see before they put you in your box, okay? I promise.”

The boy didn’t feel any better to hear it. But at least he didn’t feel worse.

“I don’t want this to be my life,” He whispered.

“Yeah… yeah. I know. Come on, let’s get you settled back in, if I’m late my supervisor will have my ass handed to me on a plate.”

I don’t give a fuck about your supervisor.

The boy kept his thought behind his teeth, because you weren’t supposed to talk back, or complain, or be sad. You just were.

“Look, what’s… what’s something you want that I can get you, huh? I’ll bring it to you after the meeting’s over?” Handler Todd began to help him move back down the hallway, keeping a hand on his lower back, the only part of him that felt warm when he walked.

He could ask for pain medicine for his leg, or he could ask for a pillow - he hadn’t been good enough for one, but…

There was only one thing he wanted.

“Can I have a granola bar?”

“Yeah, sure, kid. That’s all you want?”

No.

I want my fucking mom back.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #378

“come as you are, as you were, as i want you to be”

Have you ever dreamt in another language? No. How long will you try out something you don’t enjoy before giving up on it? It really depends, but in most cases, admittedly very quickly. What’s something you recently realized or discovered about yourself? *shrug* What’s the most interesting news you read or received recently? What about the most depressing? Not in a good way really, but it was certainly interesting to learn I have such severe sleep apnea. Like, I was certain I didn't. The most depressing would be uhhhh... I guess Jason's mother's death, but I don't know how "recent" you'd consider that by now. Would you let politics get in the way of a relationship? It depends. Some beliefs I absolutely would not tolerate (like anti-LGBT), others I would just agree to disagree with. What is one way in which you need to learn to control yourself? I need to get better at controlling my mouth when I'm extremely upset. Do you use a photo editor? I use Lightroom and Photoshop for photography. Is your dad overweight? No, I think he's actually underweight. Ever been honked at? Yes. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend has had? Easton, I think? An old middle school friend had him. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? Yes, but they never work for me. How did your parents pick your name? I dunno. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you have a balcony? No. Who is a singer that has given you chills? Man, I get chills easily with music. David Draiman from Disturbed, his cover of "Sound of Silence" is BREATHTAKING. That's number one. There are many others, they're just not coming to me at the moment. Do you have a drone? No. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some wings at Buffalo Wild Wings. I got some crazy hot sauce. Have you ever discovered something gross in your food at McDonalds? No. What was the last thing you used sliced bread to make? A sandwich. How long did your shortest relationship last? Like a day lmao. Would you rather have a trampoline or swimming pool? A POOL!!!! I've talked before about how I want one so, SO very badly to exercise my legs without having to worry about sweat, and I can take a break the very moment I need to. Do you own a Snuggie? Yeah, somewhere. Do you listen to any unsigned bands/singers? Who? Yeah, quite a few on YouTube, but my favorite in Jonathan Young. He is SO damn talented. Who is your favorite video game character? Pyramid Head from the Silent Hill franchise. What kind of pictures do you post on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat most frequently? Mostly of my pets lmao. Have you ever been on vacation with a significant other? No. Have you ever considered “unplugging”/taking a significant period of time away from technology? No. I know I'd never stick to it. Do you prefer to watch a documentary that is about a situation/event or a documentary that is more of a personal character study/biography? The latter. Meerkat Manor comes to mind with that, and everyone knows how much I adore that show. There was also one about rhesus macaques I fell in love with. Basically, I love animal docs, haha. Can you think of a recent time in which you might have been better off resisting, but you did something because you “just couldn’t help yourself”? Probably eating something. When you are getting to know someone, do you tend to worry that the other person will lose interest in you once they get to know the “real” you? Yyyyep. What is something that you would like to do, but really aren’t able to because of your location? (e.g., see art or get a certain job) Man, a lot of things. Photograph meerkats is a biggie. What sort of job do you think is best suited for your skills? Is this an in-demand position or something you’re unlikely to actually get? If I could actually handle the heat and was in good shape to traverse the outdoors, I think I'd be a great wildlife biologist. Even more though, if I could beat my social anxiety, I would ADORE being an animal educator with kids. Do you believe it is the responsibility of businesses, or prominent business leaders (think Bill Gates) to take the lead on social issues whether by using their influence or their money? Saying it's their "responsibility" sounds unfair and puts a lot of weight on their shoulders, but I do feel they should by their own volition and kindness use their position for good, such as through monetary assistance and other things. Have you ever gone to a job interview and realized that you didn’t want the job? Yep. Have you ever asked that someone sacrifice something (a habit, relationship, job, etc.) for you? A habit, yes. Looking back it was stupid as shit. What would you call your body type? Ew. Has anyone ever hacked your accounts before? Yes. Do you enjoy big holiday dinners? Considering I spend them with my sister's bigoted, homophobic, and racist in-laws, not especially. I always feel very uncomfortable and disliked among everyone for being the "black sheep" among 'em. Is your vision good? God no. Even with my glasses, it's very poor. I need a new prescription badly. Do both of your parents have jobs? Mom has something of the sort, like she cleans a local church for a small pay, but it's not really a "job." She's still recovering from cancer, getting her strength back up and such before she can handle a consistent job. Dad's had a job for as long as I've lived. What is something you’ve always wanted a boy to do for you? How heteronormative. But whatever. It's so fucking cheesy, but singing a cute song to me while slowdancing sounds so super adorable to me. What food are you craving right now? I am craving something sweet like you wouldn't believe. It's annoying. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. Do you have a lot of scars? Yes, but most are very negligible. I just scar extremely easily. Last person you saw other than your family? My primary doctor. Last movie you’ve seen in theaters? The The Lion King remake. Who was the last person you played a video game with? Ummm I think Girt. Last game you played at an arcade? Zero clue. What was your favorite nursery rhyme as a child? I THINK I particularly liked "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider?" None stand out strongly, though. What is your favorite cousin’s first name? I don’t have a favorite cousin. Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? I think with a friend to prevent loneliness, but at the very same time, I see a great beauty in traveling on your own. Just taking new things in, seeing so many different cultures, beautiful scenery... I feel it'd be a great chance for exploration of insight. Remind yourself how small you are, that there's a much, much bigger picture than your own problems, that people are so unique but hopefully share common morals... I see a lot of poetry in it. Do you like the smell of coffee? It's one of my favorite smells. If you have a favorite photographer, can you describe their work? I can't possibly pick. I watch literally hundreds on deviantART, and many of them absolutely blow my mind. What’s one aspect of your life that did not turn out as you expected? My lack of a career. Outside of school, have you ever used a thesaurus? Well, online ones for writing. When you see a good-looking girl in skimpy clothing, what is your initial thought? I envy her confidence, like gotdamn girl. Have you ever been in a lighthouse? No. Are you on a laptop or desktop? A laptop. What color is your shower? White. Where do you order your pizza from? Domino's or Little Caesar's. What was the name of the last dog you pet? We've been calling the dog we're holding right now Zoe. Have you ever had anything stolen from you? Yes. Have you ever seen the White House? I don't think so, but it's possible I have when we've driven up to New York, but from a distance. How about Niagara Falls? No. What do you like in your salads and what dressing do you prefer? I just like regular iceberg lettuce with some bacon bits and ranch. Man, that sounds good right about now. Any posters of a band on your bedroom wall? Yeah, Metallica and Marilyn Manson. Do you think it’d be cool to have your body mummified after you die? No. I couldn't rock the mummy look even if I tried, haha. Can you tell the difference between a Scottish & an Irish accent? Not really, no. Can you read music? I used to be able to. Do you work the night shift? I don’t have a job, but if I did, I absolutely do not want to work the night shift anywhere. Have you ever slept over at your best friend’s house? Yes. Is your mother diabetic? Are you? She is, but I'm not. Would you like to learn how to make ceramic pottery? It'd be cool, sure. Ever sang someone to sleep? No. Who did you last kiss? My cat. Why did you last lie? I don't recall. Probably to just avoid confrontation with Mom. What do you put on your hamburgers? Cheese, ketchup, and mustard, generally. Who do you think cares the most about you? My mom. Have you ever sent a dirty picture? No. What’s at the center of your dining table? Honestly, we sit in there so rarely that I don't even know. I think we might have nothing, actually. Have you ever started a rumor? No. Do you like being outside? If it's cool, yes. What’s your favourite condiment? Maybe ketchup. Or honey mustard. Who sang/played the last song you listened to? Chris Motionless is the singer of Motionless In White. I don't know if that's his real last name, though. Do you like yoga? I used to. Now all the bending and shit would make me dizzy as hell with my "how are you still alive" level of low blood pressure. Do you always carry breath mints? No, but I do carry Tictacs with me, but they're for my dry mouth. It forces you to salivate, so it helps. What do you think your reaction would be upon entering the White House? I don't really know. I honestly don't even know how it looks inside. Thinking about it, I'd probably be more scared than anything, waiting for a bomb to drop or some shit lmao. Have you ever grown your own sea monkeys or dinosaurs? OH MY GOD I LOVED those!!! I definitely did! Have you ever thrown a game controller (or the game) and broke it? No, I've never been the type to do that. If I'm SERIOUSLY getting mad, all I do is tighten my grip. Did you ever own an Etch-a-Sketch? Yes. Do/did you ever have glow-in-the-dark stars on your ceiling? I believe so. What movie were you really worked up for that ended up disappointing you? My answer is Warcraft, but only because the fucking orcs' voices were so baritone that I couldn't understand them almost ever lmaooo. Like I had a mild idea of what was going on because of the game, but still. What part of a paper is hardest for you to write? The intro, or the conclusion. Both are difficult to me. Like I want to compose a gripping beginning as well as an end that doesn't just repeat everything I've already said and ends on a strong note. Does it bother you that almost everything is done on computers now? No. KFC Chicken: original or extra crispy? I don't like fried chicken. Think about your first kiss. Did you have any idea what you were doing? I mean, I guess? Like I'd seen kisses enough to know how to give someone a peck. It just came naturally. Did you get Happy Meals just for the toys as a kid? Not just for the toy, but it's the main thing I wanted, sure. Have you ever seen your parents cry? If so, how did it make you feel? Seeing my mom cry absolutely destroys me. I don't want her to hurt EVER. Especially if it's seriously unfair bullshit that has her upset, I also get very angry (not at her, of course) and protective. I've seen Dad tear up once, back when he was telling us about his mother's funeral, and I felt immense surprise more than anything. He does NOT cry. How do you feel about animal testing? It's fucking disgusting and barbaric. Find a different goddamn way. Do you add condiments to your ice cream, or just eat it plain? If I'm having vanilla, I'll usually add chocolate syrup. Have you ever witnessed a crime? Yes. What’s the coolest personalized license plate you’ve ever seen? I'm forever gonna get a kick out of this one that just said "omw," haha.

[painted-crow]

Snake vs Bird secondary?

This is a submission, so it's formatted a little differently. My line notes will look like this. Let me know if this is hard to read for anyone. -Paint

Just to get it out of the way, I'm a snake primary.

Secondaries:

The ones I'm not:

-I think badger secondary skillset is kind of cool, but rather than something that comes naturally it's something I'll occasionally make the conscious decisions to use, and the *value* set that goes with it is not me at all (use all the shortcuts! Minimize hard work as much as possible! Flit from project to project!)

Yep, not you. Cool beans. Might be a performance since you do turn it on? Up to you whether you care about that.

- occasionally, when trapped with no way out, I'll do a lion style "charge in". It feels like the desperate act of a feral animal, not my natural preferred style. Can't manage to make anything else work, charge in, worse thing that happens is we all die. Also re lion I do occasionally consciously fake it, like, I used to have a reputation as the blunt one who couldn't lie and despite being perfectly fine with lying I'd lean into it, having people think you don't lie is handy. I used to be the person appointed by unspoken group consensus to say the things that needed to be said but weren't socially acceptable, that kind of thing. But I'm not a lion primary (I honestly tend to feel slightly queasy reading lion descriptions, although I do have lions I admire)

Oh gosh, this bit is so Snakey. It's SO SNAKEY. Lol

(On the second pass, it almost seems like you're seeing others' opinions of you as a resource you can use...)

So now... Snake vs Bird secondary:

* I can't tell what the system is even talking about when it talks about collecting information because its useful or not. No, I don't waste my time on totally useless trivia.

It's less that you'd seek out random trivia, and more that some of your interests are maybe not super practical.

I was really into natural planted aquariums for a few years, and I thought they were really cool as an exercise in botany, chemistry, biology, aesthetics, and building a tiny ecosystem.

Is this knowledge ever going to be useful? Well, no, definitely not maybe some of the stuff I learned about what plants look like with various nutritional deficiencies...

Some Birds will focus entirely on their more impractical interests, others won't have any and their skills will all seem kind of utilitarian--but they will have picked them up out of interest, even if they really value their utility. I know a lot about computers and programming, and I picked that up partly because it's so useful, but I couldn't have gotten as far with it as I have if it didn't interest me.

On the other hand, I learn languages for fun, even if I don't have anyone around to use them on. Languages are just inherently useful. And I'm a writer, so like, pretty much everything is useful eventually, right?

I'm a writer too so I know what you're talking about, and this is a more solid justification than the example I gave above, but uh... this is a real good blanket rationalization xD

I read as much history as I can because it all goes into a big subconscious churn to make me have a better understanding of human nature.

This is very Birdy. I do something similar, but it's more psychology focused.

Does knowing why I pursue knowledge make it a model?

Nah. Knowing why they value something would just make a Bird value it more. Also, we're really likely to analyze why we like stuff, because analysis is kind of our jam.

If so, that's so deeply strange to me I guess I'm not a bird?

Right now I'm thinking you're a Snake with a strong Bird model. You seem reluctant to identify with it, whereas the Snakey traits you talked about in your "I'm not a Lion" section, you described with a kind of trickstery playfulness and I think you see them as more "you." With Bird you're almost defensive, like you're trying to assure me you're not boring and stuffy xD

But your Bird model seems strong. I think you'd be able to rely on it if your Snake ever Burned. That's a good thing.

* I never know what to answer on the "going in with plans" question of the quiz. I always have a few plans in advance, and they always have several blank spots marked "adjust based on what's happening". I can't imagine not having plans, it gives me anxiety, I can't imagine being too rigid about the plans, it gives me anxiety.

Yep, this still vibes as Snake with strong Bird model.

* I like to research and prepare in advance as much as possible. I was researching college majors when I was 12. I read all the choosing your career books, spent summers interning, and interviewed people about their jobs so I could feel safe choosing. I spent three years reading books and listening to podcasts about parenting before having my first kid so I'd know what I was doing (similarly, I spent years before marriage reading marriage therapy books and relationship skill books).

Oh hell, just @ me next time. This is more full of Bird shit than the windshield of a car that's been parked under a tree for the last 3 years.

And then, after doing as much research as possible, there's ALWAYS the moment when you have to say "screw it" and jump in blind as a bat anyway. That's just life. It's completely impossible in the actual moment to follow a plan, the plan always disintegrates at first contact with the "enemy" (but the process of making the plan, backup plan, and additional backup plan is important.)

There's that Snake again. I really wish I could do this. It'd be super useful.

It's starting to sound like your Snake is supporting your Bird rather than the other way around, which is surprising me. I was expecting you to start convincing me you were a Snake around about now, but you're doubling down on the Bird.

* there's a distinct feeling of 'turning on' my hyperawareness of my surroundings and ability to respond. Like, let's say I drift through life *highly* distracted by what's going on in my head.

Moooood.

But if I'm at a job interview, or giving a speech, or having an important social interaction, there's this sort of clear quiet feeling where I'm just trying to sense the room and respond on instinct. It sure feels like this might be what snake descriptions are describing, but it's only on sometimes.

That's how models work, or how they can work. I can see why you're confused.

* honestly reading snake description feels vaguely "aspirational" rather than "yeah, that's me" because I simply don't have confidence that I'm THAT good at grabbing opportunities or responding to chances. In the moment I can fatally hesitate for the crucial two seconds...

Also a model thing. You value it over your actual secondary, which explains why you want to identify with it more. I do this with my Badger model sometimes.

Actually, thinking about it, I essentially feel split. I feel I am both. I feel like my brain can be in plan mode or response mode. It cannot do both simultaneously, I need both modes, and I have no idea how I'm supposed to figure out which is one is my "type" ie more essentially "me". Response mode is more "natural", ie instinctive, when in use. Planning mode comes more easily, feels more comfortable, but of course that's because the inherent nature of planning mode is to happen in the safe spots, you don't plan mid-interview because that's when you're in "danger" and need to "respond".

You're taking your Bird for granted. A lot of people find planning REALLY stressful, and actually feel more comfortable in the moment. Or they like the slight feeling of danger.

Our society holds Bird up as "this is what intelligence looks like" and tells us we should all be that way. (It does this with Badger a lot too.) The result is that people who are good at it don't realize that it's not universal--and they think that seeing it as something particular to them is arrogant.

Effectively, it becomes invisible. We take it for granted and identify it by its weird quirks rather than its actual structure, which we've been taught is something everyone should be able to use easily.

Improvisational secondaries are going to feel more instinctive, almost by definition.

I don't know, I'm beginning to feel like I fundamentally don't grok either one or both of these secondaries and hence am so confused..

I think you're using Snake to support your Bird more than the other way around. You're more comfortable with Bird, and it's most of what you've focused on in writing this. So, after reading all of this, I think you're a Bird with a loud Snake model.

But if that doesn't jam well with you, you could just say "I have two secondaries." Traditional? No. But go ahead. If you feel like that's the truest description of you, then it probably is. Labels describe, they don't define. If it changes later, that's okay too.

Thanks for your question!

[seoultraveller]

Awhhh I’m glad it made you smile🥺

Okay that sounds great !! I would definitely recommend stretching beforehand (something I’ve learned myself if I work out💀) 😅 Good luck when you do some exercises again and I hope you won’t hurt yourself again ;(( That’s so sweet of you thank you Catalina🥺 You’re deserving of love and all great things too💕

HSHSH it must be so nice having them be quiet 😂😂 I’ve always been apart of messy classes so it’s nice with some quiet sometime !! (Though now I’m so used to a lot of noises and I find it hard concentrating when it’s too quiet 😳) Oohhh Kahoot can be fun!! I’ve almost always enjoyed playing Kahoot when my teachers used to do it

Ahh now it’s perfect to use the hugs then🥺🥰 Stay warm and healthy !! Sad to hear that the weather is so bad ;( I like the rain though, it’s nice, but it can affect the mood sometimes

I posted part three yesterday actually ! But it didn’t show up in any of the tags so I unpublished it this morning and I’m thinking of when to post now🤔 And I also (finally) finished my other Wooyoung fic which is called Magic Numbers and I’m also thinking about when to publish it hmmmm. I really want to get Magic Numbers out so we’ll se what I’ll do 💕 But omg I’m so happy you’re looking forward to the third part, it means a lot as a writer🥺

Kiwi is doing good🥰 She’s just getting crazier and crazier and she makes me laugh A LOT ! She just does the stupidest things 😂🤣

Im okay atm, thank you for asking🥺 I’ve been stressed now during the afternoon because I was trying to finish a report (which I’ve been ignoring until last minute...) but it’s still not complete and I only have one lesson tomorrow to get it done :/ It’s been a tough thing to do and I got irritated at myself for leaving it until so late and getting so stressed too ugh 🙃 I’m fighting though and I’m gonna try to write a little more before going to bed

Otherwise, my day has been good overall and I’m glad I’ve been able to write on my fics 🥺

How are you feeling and what are your plans for today??

Yeah~ 🥺 Good afternoon!! 😃

Haha!! Yeah! Can’t just willingly go around pulling muscles 😅. No, not really. I don’t really do much that is deserving of appreciation or love. I just do what I’m supposed to do.

Oh really!? That’s interesting. I’ve been in a few noisy classes, but I’m starting realize more and more now that I need quiet to focus. It’s very difficult for me to focus if my surroundings are loud/attention grabbing. However, working through noise is quite like a talent. And you have it!! I’ll find something on Kahoot and maybe play another game with them as well. Your enthusiasm has solidified my choice. Thank you!!

Yes!! The rain is actually quite nice. However, the only drawback I would say is getting wet! Since... however, I also like warmth, I would say the coldness as well but that’s not too bad. Thank you for the hug 🤗💕💘💛❣️💓

Okay~ okay~ I knew that I was tagged and at first the notification worked, but then I couldn’t find the notification and was all like 🤭😂 and thinking I did something wrong. Magic Numbers is ready!? Ayyeee~ cannot wait to read it 😌 but take your time in posting it. I ready to read either one as it suits you whenever it seems like it is the proper time to post.

😂 oh goodness!! 😂 She seems like a much more interesting character than I had originally thought. 😂

Aw~ well here’s to hoping that you do not pull your hair out over this project, but also still manage to get it done. Don’t be too hard on yourself either though. Letting things get away from you like this happens, but once the realization comes to you to get it done then that’s a good thing. I am glad that you realized you had to eventually work on it anyway. *Sending hugs* It’s all going to be cool. Don’t worry about it. 😉

I’m happy that you’ve had a good day. You deserve it!! 💕❣️💓

I feel pretty amazing!! I mean... it’s 5:10 AM so after sending this out I may just go back to sleep for about 30 minutes to an hour, or just browse and reblog on tumblr. Today, my plans are to dump some trash that I created yesterday while cleaning my room, get to work, write, create a lesson plan, and do some language studying.

[madnessofmen]

yeah i'm a humanities grad student and we have this discussion frequently about the work being excessively dense EVEN FOR OTHER ACADEMICS. it's not about jargon or nuances of definition, as i'm trying to tell you, but the fact that many writers are literally failing to communicate their ideas in a precise way because of the register they use to write. it's a huge problem for interdisciplinary work, let alone for trying to make that work useful outside its niche

essentially the problem is that many academics in my field and presumably related fields use their paper writing to play language games that have no merit except as a gatekeeping exercise. if you are capable of expressing the meaning of your words in a more exact way then choosing to be obtuse is political and your politic is that your work is exclusive. papers are not inherently 'not for' students or 'for' other researchers, it's just like, codified elitism that says it should be the case

1) papers are not inherently 'not for' students or 'for' other researchers. It's just like, codified elitism that says it should be the case

I don't mean "for" as in nobody else should be able to read it, but in the sense that "GTA is a rated M game". There's a target audience for everything. Not everything has to be for everyone and you'd be crazy to assert otherwise.

A while back, my friend's dad, a software engineer, recommended me an infosec podcast. I was eager to listen because I wanted to learn about the field, but rather disappointingly, I only understood like 50% of the words being said. And that's not because the podcast was bad! From what I could understand, it sounded pretty cool. But it was a podcast for people *already in* cyber security and I had no computer background at all, so of course it was incomprehensible to me. But I'm not going to demand that the creators suddenly dumb everything down for me.

2) yeah i'm a humanities grad student and we have this discussion frequently about the work being excessively dense EVEN FOR OTHER ACADEMICS.

Okay, so this, yeah, 100% valid complaint. If you, as the target audience, can't understand what your peers are saying, then that's just bad writing. It should be immediately accessible to you, but it isn't.

3) it's not about jargon or nuances of definition, as i'm trying to tell you, but the fact that many writers are literally failing to communicate their ideas in a precise way because of the register they use to write. it's a huge problem for interdisciplinary work, let alone for trying to make that work useful outside its niche.

essentially the problem is that many academics in my field and presumably related fields use their paper writing to play language games that have no merit except as a gatekeeping exercise. if you are capable of expressing the meaning of your words in a more exact way, then choosing to be obtuse is political and your politic is that your work is exclusive.

Holy shit man, that sucks. Are there standardized academic writing classes for the humanities? I assume there must be. Do any of these papers follow those guidelines? Regardless, both academics and whoever runs the major journals in your field are at fault, the former for generating this sort of unfettered verbiage and the journal editors for allowing it to get published. Do journals demand that it be incomprehensible? What's the logic here?

I'm actually curious, what field are you in, and can you send me a sample/excerpt of some of these texts? I know for philosophy (for me at least), it's just a dense clusterfuck unless I get an actual book, so that I'm eased into the terminology instead of being assaulted by it all at once in a 10-20 page paper, but it's actual quite clear to understand when I understand the terminology.

I've really not had this experience myself in the sciences, mostly because science papers generally all follow the same writing guidelines that I learned in school (and I suppose there's less creative liberty that can be taken when summarizing the results of an experiment). Like I actually prefer reading papers over textbooks because they're easier for me to read and I'm way more interested in the discovery process than the discovery itself. Honestly, I'm really sorry it's like this in your field.

[homespork-review]

Homespork Act 1: The Note Dawdling Tension Plays (Part 2)

BRIGHT: The next bit of narration continues to establish John’s character: he has no idea what to call the red arm on the mailbox, and doesn’t care. We also learn that much like many teenagers, he doesn’t want to spend hours with his Dad. The author uses this opportunity to drop in a reference to the title.

The next page has a loading screen! I think this is the first interactive page in the comic. (For a certain value of interactive - you can mouseover the vertical lines of the games in the CD rack, and the cover of the game will pop up. Some of these link you to other works by Hussie.)

CHEL: Unfortunately, we then go into sylladex shenanigans AGAIN. Mercifully, this time it’s brief. We’ll let this one go, but I’ve got one eye on you, Huss.

TG messages John again, making reference to “TT”, who is confirmed female and alleged to be “mackin on” TG, and to his “bro” who “basically knows everything and is awesome”. How sincere he is in either of those remains to be seen. Finally, John actually gets told how to use his sylladex. Maybe the shenanigans will stop now… Anyway, he selects hammers for his strife specibus, or his weapon of choice, and the sylladex is confirmed able to hold things which would be too big to carry normally, such as Colonel Sassacre's Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery, a book roughly as big as John is. At least the stupid sylladex actually has some practical use - I’m sure John’s as happy as I am to know that!

Next we see the review which put TG off; GameBro magazine explains “Why the ‘Game of the Year’ or whatever isn’t as good as some other stuff I like that’s better”. As it turns out once you get past the Totally Radical verbiage, the reviewer didn’t even play it. Something suspect’s definitely going on if it’s so hyped up on so little information… erm, is it just me or is the term “Brotel Rwanda” rather tacky? I don’t know if that’s worth a point, the point of the joke could be that the game reviewer is an idiot…

FAILURE ARTIST: I’d have that squarely as a point.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 1

CHEL: Okay, then, here’s our fourth count. Title is a reference to a line later in the comic, and I think the point of the count is pretty obvious. Mileage may vary, all works would get at least a couple points in this, and I don’t think it’s a big problem unless/until it starts to climb out of proportion. Not gonna use a WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM count because the reviewer, as seen in the pic, is supposed to be a white guy.

Regarding the rest of the review, I did consider whether this falls under the heading of HNTWAN’s “I, Youngster” (using slang or references from one’s own youth to write a contemporary younger person), but I’d say no, because it’s supposed to sound ridiculous. Same with John’s movies; his taste is supposed to be bad, I don’t think Hussie actually thinks kids in 2009 still all liked bad movies from before they were born. That, and Hussie’s word choices are frankly like nothing I’ve ever seen anywhere else in any time period.

We shall move on, as so is the comic. Forty-seven pages into the comic, the main character finally leaves his bedroom. Wow. Things are happening at breakneck speed here.

TIER: Truly the pace strides forward like a Colossus through Lilliput.

GET ON WITH IT!: 2

CHEL: Though the silly Groucho Marx disguise he puts on is cute.

BRIGHT: Of course, since it would be interesting to see what’s in the mailbox (or at least would move the plot along a bit), John spends the next few pages examining his home.

I’m torn about this. On the one hand, it does a bit more fleshing out of John and his home life, which is more interesting than endless sylladex shenanigans, and the narration is entertaining. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure that on my first read through I clicked through all of it, trying to get to something happening. It holds up better on the re-read to me.

Well, something does happen, John knocks over the urn containing his grandmother’s ashes and opens a box from his father which holds a full-sized harlequin doll. Again, how much this appeals depends on what you think of ‘loveable dork’ characters fumbling around.

Then we return briefly to John’s bedroom, where we meet the third character of this webcomic, tentacleTherapist, or the alluded-to TT. The conversation isn’t very long, but it does give a good sense of what TT is like.

CHEL: Specifically, prone to sarcasm and sesquipedalian loquaciousness. Also to inappropriate jokes. An invocation of the hentai trope "tentacle rape" (read her handle quickly) is a fairly uncomfortable username for a child to have.

CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 2

Anyway, it seems she knows John very well - she’s able to guess he’s wearing “one of your disguises” with no clue in his messages, so evidently he does this a lot. She’s probably the smartest character introduced so far, and she and John seem to have a good relationship.

Now, again, this was originally a reader-driven forum game, but when it was collated into a webcomic, it might have been better to have the conversation with TT moved to before John left the room, so we’re not going back and forth unnecessarily. One journey through the house is enough, I’d say. Another GET ON WITH IT point, or does this come under the heading of the second point still? I’ll be nice and not count it, since he was going back to fetch an item and not just randomly wandering.

We definitely get more points from the text in Colonel Sassacre’s joke book:

And what of that tawny gent who puts his lackadaisical lean near the sarsaparilla font? You’ll have that listless octoroon find the spring in his step just yet! CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS: 3 WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM: 2

The point of these lines is that the text is outdated and racist, not that it should be emulated, but the “outdated” point was more than got across by the language used already. And it would seem fairly weird for a person who wasn’t white to read a line like that and not comment on it - okay, maybe John’s read it before and is used to it, but the narrator ought to point that out if it had ever bothered him.

FAILURE ARTIST: Colonel Sassacre is basically Mark Twain with a party hat photoshopped on to him. Mark Twain’s most famous work, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, has gotten into trouble in recent years because of the name of one of the characters: [N-word] Jim. The novel is progressive for its time but it hasn’t aged well. I’m guessing Colonel Sassacre’s unnecessary racism is a nod to that controversy.

CHEL: Get used to Photoshopped depictions of real people, too.

BRIGHT: John ventures out into the house again, ostensibly to retrieve the game but really to stick his fake arms to the harlequin doll and nose around his father’s study. Should the comment about the peanut allergy count towards ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? In context with the can of peanuts I think there’s meant to be a joke here…

There is also a CAN OF PEANUTS on the desk. Ha ha, oh DAD. You won't be falling for THAT one again any time soon. A severe peanut allergy is a terrible affliction to cope with.

CHEL: That line? Yeah, it's a reference to the snake nut can prank item - have you seen those on cartoons, where someone offers canned snacks and a spring-loaded toy snake pops out? A dark joke, sure, but my sense of humour tends to run that way and I loled. CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS instead, possibly? I don’t know if people with life-threatening allergies would be offended by this - the joke isn’t that they’re weak or stupid or anything, the joke is the play on the reader’s expectations. I wouldn’t mind it if I had a peanut allergy, but as I said, my sense of humour is pretty dark.

FAILURE ARTIST: I feel like if a certain other parent we meet later did that people would take it as abusive.

CHEL: My assumption was that John’s dad didn’t actually mean to give him food that would kill him, that was just an unfortunate way of finding out he was allergic, but in this comic, who the fuck knows?... Come to think of it, maybe he did mean to. Peanut allergies run in families and it’s established much later on that one of the relatives involved (it gets complicated) also has a deadly peanut allergy, so it would seem logical that Dad would also have one and thus wouldn’t have them around to eat himself. Even if he did, that’s a bad move with an allergic person in the house. Maybe it is worth an ARE YOU TRYING point, then? Maybe this is just overanalysing, but then overanalysing is the whole point of this exercise, so there it goes!

ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?: 1

For clarification of the listed counts, this isn’t going under CALL CPA PLEASE because that one’s for when the kids do something disturbing themselves. We’ll show you what we mean when it comes up. We'll be nice and let Rose have an inappropriate username, that's not out of the ordinary for kids that age.

And speaking of said points, what about Dad giving John at least four birthday cakes? (He has two untouched ones in his room at the point he says he’s been eating cake all day, and Dad soon tries to give him yet another one.) That sounds cool from a thirteen-year-old’s point of view, but it kinda comes across as if Dad’s trying to feed him to death, and intentionally making kids horribly unhealthy can be a form of abuse. Or possibly to make up for something awful he knows about… Is the latter further evidence for the “guardians know about what’s coming” theory? Dad’s coddling John because he knows horrible things are going to happen? Hell, were the peanuts an attempted mercy kill, if we wanna get really tinfoil hat about it?

All that’s for later, though. Meantime, we get our first page with sound, as John plays “Showtime”, a nifty little piano tune.

"Homestuck // Showtime (Piano Refrain) // Piano" (Watch on YouTube)

The other kids get their own individual little musical parts too, later on, which merge to form one full piece.

FAILURE ARTIST: Music is a big draw in Homestuck. Not just these four main characters but pretty much every character has their own leitmotif.

[purplesurveys]

520

What is your best talent? I’m gonna guess writing, since I get compliments on it and I fairly enjoy doing it.

Do you know anyone named Nicole? Nicole is a pretty popular second name in the Philippines but I don’t know anyone actually going by the name.

Have you ever had a true FML? I’ve been around 21 years and I’m pretty clumsy, so there’s been a handful. Just yesterday I was drinking milk tea when a pearl got stuck in my straw and I couldn’t drink any of the tea. I didn’t want to sip it in for fear of having the pearl lodged in my throat, so I did the opposite and blew air onto the straw. The milk tea exploded all over my face and my outfit lmao

Are you considering having children right now? Not right now, but I’d want a couple by the next decade or so.

Do you enjoy the darkness? Only when I have to sleep. Otherwise, the dark can trigger me to be sad and start thinking dark thoughts.

Are you afraid of being single? Well, where I am now, yes. I’m in a great place with Gab and I wouldn’t want to lose her.  But the idea of being single itself doesn’t bother me a lot - it just means more money to spend on myself hahaha.

Do you have a new boyfriend/girlfriend every week? Nope.

Are you good at deceiving others? Only when it comes to looking cheery when I’ve really been having an internal breakdown - I don’t like letting people in. But other than that, I’m awful at lying.

How much memory does your computer have? Just 120 GB. I don’t save a lot of stuff so I didn’t feel the need for storage space.

Do you play video games? Sometimes, and when I do it’s 1) easy, family-friendly games like those on the Wii, or 2) simply goofing around in open world games and not actually doing missions. I’m really bad at video games and have never finished one, so I never formed an attachment to them like others have.

What color are your eyes? Black.

Is your hair layered? Nah, I don’t think I’ve had it layered since I was 11.

What is the closest yellow thing to you? The blanket on me has yellow polka dots.

Do you believe in labeling others? Sure, but only if it’s based from personal experiences. The best example I could give you is labeling people I go to school with, and if they’re decent groupmates or just pain-in-the-ass freeloaders. I don’t like going any more personal than that, though; when I do ~label it’s just to look out for my own sanity.

Have you ever shot an animal? NO.

How do you feel about Judge Judy? I have never seen it and have no idea what it’s about.

Do you exercise daily? No, but I do have PE on Wednesdays and Fridays. How many months have you been alive? 257.

Can you do cool things with your hair? Nope. The most creative thing I can do with it is a bun. I don’t know how to do a braid and much less anything more creative than that. Do you have a couch in your house? Yeah. We bought an L-shaped couch fairly recently and it is everythinggggg. Would you like to have a soda machine in your room? No thanks, I hate soda.

Are you impatient? In most contexts, yeah. Would you pay someone to drive you around everywhere? Maybe not everywhere since I do know how to drive and enjoy it from time to time, but it would be nice to have this luxury especially if I have to go to places where I’d have to go through traffic. Do you think soap operas are too good to be true? I wouldn’t know, since I never watch/ed those. Are you conscious of your weight? I’m not conscious but I’m generally aware that I need to gain like 10 pounds. Have you ever jumped out of a window? No. Are you tolerant of pain? NOOOOOOOO I hate feeling pain. [Graphic] Currently I have a second-degree burn on the roof of my mouth because I stupidly bit on a freshly-cooked takoyaki last Monday (wasn’t able to spit it out cos I was in public and was stupidly more concerned about bystanders getting grossed out than my mouth getting burned). No skin left at all, just a big ass wound. I’ve had to skip meals and eat less because the pain is a BITCH and it has just been so uncomfortable and I get headaches from it and I want to cry. What kind of mood are you usually in? I don’t have a ‘usual’ mood. Do you feel like you can read others minds? I’m generally good at getting a feel of what they’re thinking of and how they are, but like I’m not anything close to being a mind reader lol. Do you have a webcam? It’s a part of my laptop. Do you finish other peoples sentences? Sometimes I tend to do that, but I realize it can be annoying so I avoid it. How many pairs of shoes do you own? I’m too lazy to count but 10-15 pairs seems like a safe guess. When is your birthday? April 21st.

Do you feel important where you’re at right now? Getting there. Are you short tempered? Yeah, a great deal. Do you cry when someone yells at you? Typically. My mom yelled at me a lot as a kid so I get very sensitive when anyone raises their voices at me. Have you ever been homeless? Nope. How many online accounts do you have? I have a lot, if we’re counting sites beyond social media. I’ve had to sign up for apps for classes, like Schoology; for alternative slide-making services like Canva; for other apps that I find useful, like Zomato. Do you drive through red lights? No, never. What sound puts you to sleep? Silence. As much as possible it has to be quiet; I don’t like white noise. I suppose the sound of rain and thunderstorms is soothing too. Are you a fast or slow reader? I’m pretty fast from all the years I spent reading as a kid. But it still depends - if I don’t like what I’m reading or if it’s an academic piece, I’ll have to slow down. Are you a good speller? Yes. Do you have a TV in your bedroom? Nope. I used to have one but I never used it so they gave it to my brother. How long can you go without sleeping? I usually put a limit at like 16-18 hours. Any longer than that and i start to get crankier. How long can you go without talking? I’m guessing fairly long? I have no problem with not talking, as an introvert. Do you currently have a job? No, I don’t. Do you tend to always be in some sort of drama? Nah I typically just watch from afar. Do you collect quarters from every state? We don’t have quarters and we don’t have states. How important is appearance in your life? Like, physical appearance? It’s pretty up there. I like having my hair neat and putting on a nice, matching outfit whatever the occasion. Are you any good at photography? No, not at all. I could never figure it out. I just take photos on my phone and hope it does the job well. Would you rather sleep all night or sleep all day? All day. I like being out at night. Do you hate getting up early? In general, yes, even if I’m waking up for something exciting like a vacation. Does it bother you when people use poor grammar? It used to, until I realized judging people for their grammar is a shitty thing to do especially if they aren’t fluent in the language they’re attempting to speak. I do draw the line at people trying to sound smart and coming off as an asshole - if they also happen to use poor grammar, that’s when I’ll find it funny. Could you see yourself being a bartender? No. I feel like I’d forget so many recipes and be so exhausted from having to be friendly with everyone.

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship? No. We had toxic tendencies in the beginning but 1) we’ve ironed it out since, and 2) I don’t think those tendencies immediately made the entire relationship toxic.

Are you currently tired? Nah, I just woke up and I’m looking to work on a bunch of homework today. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water, cos I chugged a loooot of Vietnamese coffee last night. Do you like to take walks? Not so much, but I’m learning to like them. I walked the entire Academic Oval in school last Thursday :) Have you ever had de ja vu? Yeah, many times. Are you a fan of anime? No. Do you draw a lot? I can’t draw, so no. Do you plan on going to college? I’m in college/university. Those mean the same thing here. Do you feel at home in your own home? Most days. Do you pay for your own cell phone bill? I’m on a prepaid plan, but no, my mom pays for my load. Do you really think that life’s what you make it? To a certain extent. There are some things that just happen to you and you can’t help it, unfortunately > Pretty much.

[bestfluteninja]

actual things my teachers have said, pt. 2

part 1 here

so, in honor of school about to start again, here’s my teacher quotes from second semester last year, my freshman year of high school. enjoy.

“Day one and you’re already undressing”

“I went to college for this”

“I’ve taught one person something today”

“He looks so loose and relaxed because he’s dead”

“There was this one pope who was a total prude”

“It’s called the Great Deflowering, and they just took all the penises off the statues”

“One student said, ‘do you think there’s this basket of stone penises in the Vatican?’”

“Oh, it’s like ‘pièce’ means ‘piece’ or something”

“Do you sleep in the salle à manger (dining room)? Only if you have a very sad life”

“I don’t know why I suddenly know your restroom schedule”

“I want to get up on a ladder and touch your hair. Still sounds weird”

“And then you have Columbus or Vasco de Gama’s little ship, which looks like it’s going to be eaten by the big ship”

“Let’s go metric, which we’re crazy for not using”

“When I pass on to whatever”

“You tempt my middle finger”

“Stop talking about my coworkers in a negative way. Or positive. Just stop.”

“I almost said a word I shouldn’t”

“Nachos aren’t happening without cheese”

“We are about to learn a new tense, which will shake the foundations of everything you know and love”

“Let’s make this nice and incriminating”

“Next year I’ll have to require students to get a tattoo of their password”

“Anybody else wanna criticize my decisions?”

“Hey. Hey! HEY!...have a good day”

“After announcements, I’m going to melt your faces off, so be ready”

“It’s magic time, kids”

“I have mad babysitting skills”

“You don’t go to all this effort if you have wheat just growing in your backyard”

“The Catholic Church was into destruction”

“You really don’t wanna write it down because then you’ll cry”

“Anyone wanna help me summon the dead?”

“My mother still tells me I should’ve been a lawyer”

“Rooms and stuff, oh yeah”

“That way, when he’s an old man, people can go ‘you’re old’ and he’ll be like ‘whaaa’“

“If you’re sitting there just tapping really hard, I don’t know what your aggression is”

“I wish I had autopilot”

“I won’t make you cry”

“There were some that considered that blasphemous. Heracy. Scientific heracy.”

“The access code is cookies18 because I’m surrounded by cookies and it’s 2018″

“Thumbs down is like ‘bro why’“

“Are you having fun in art class? Stop that”

“You all think you’re gang members now”

“Something French, woman! Get it together”

“We can be like Congress and have to have a talking stick”

“Here’s a dog with three stereotypes all at once”

“I am as serious as a heart attack”

“You don’t see many of those furry little creatures around here anymore. Except raccoons. They’re everywhere”

“It’s not politics if everyone agrees”

student: “I like your shoes” teacher: “thanks, they’re killing my feet”

“Focus less on witty comments”

“If we could just hang out, I’d, like, braid your hair”

“This guy with a stick, that can’t be good”

“Spent a little too much time in the harem, if you get my meaning”

“I really do try to find anything with singing and dancing camels”

“Another creepy clown, fantastic”

“Are those flower garlands, or are they chains?”

“Oh, how progressive, that you add Hindu women to your harem”

“Probably for the release death would bring”

“Easy with the f-bomb”

“I’m gonna go ahead and mark everyone absent just because I like to mess with the front office”

“That was a pretty good airplane”

“I got too deep in a book and forgot to make your test”

“This is for your cultural education” *shows Shia LaBoef*

“You don’t know why, but you know you hate them”

“This is a holdup, pow pow pow, give me all your money”

“Screaming is the same in every language”

“Satan scares me”

“I have nothing against turtlenecks, usually”

“420, blaze it. I shouldn’t have said that, it was inappropriate”

“If you don’t know basic computer skills, you’re just doomed”

“Attacked by many animals...I can just see him walking down the street going ‘oh god not again’“

“She’s preening you”

“We don’t do midterms in here cause they’re awful”

“I love praise”

“Everything is petit pois”

“Nobody can get through the French Revolution in a day and a half except me”

“Back when the History Channel had history”

“Everyone is like ‘oh I’m so nostalgic for the nineties’ and I’m like ‘burn it with fire’“

“Feel free to email me, I won’t respond”

“Don’t hurt each other”

“She looks like a jellyfish. No! That’s so cool! I love jellyfish!”

“I felt like lying on the floor and curling up in a ball”

“Laugh. Move on.”

“Your fort should be strong, to keep the Huns from invading”

“Why are you so smart right now?”

“I have all of her anxiety and none of her skill”

“Whatever will make my parents angriest”

“What’s happening, you animals?”

“Just fractions, nothing magical”

student: *drops ruler* teacher, deadpan: “why”

“Sooner or later that bell will ring and you’ll be like ‘yo what the heck’”

“Anytime there’s chanting, just be careful”

“There’s no mentions of prostitutes in the Jamaica letter”

“I like fire, so I might burn it”

“These are in your way just to distract you”

“Don’t build your expectations up too high”

“Oh, I had alcohol”

“I want to leave with both my kidneys, thanks”

“If you would take a town out of Alabama and put it here, that’s Fortville” (we live in Indiana)

“I’m gonna start dressing like a clown to get your guys’ attention”

“Everybody needs extra money in life”

“I don’t know if you guys know this, but an essential part of living is being able to breathe”

“I’m a popcorn-aholic”

“We’re gonna do an exercise in loving yourself real quick”

“I barely even go outside”

“It’ll be terrible. You’re gonna have nightmares”

“It is a vest with fake pockets and a cape attached”

“There are very few people who are not gifted in anything”

“Please let me retire”

“If the lottery plays out on Wednesday, I might be gone by Thursday”

“Then we burnish it with a wooden spoon because I’m too cheap to buy burnishers and a wooden spoon works”

“Be mindful of when you’re leaning up against cabinets. Or get shoved into them”

“I like to touch art. Not supposed to, but I like to”

“If you go to Canada, I need you to steal a stop sign”

“I always get excited but it’s always just you, being fantastic”

(a blade from our art project went missing) “I think there are three scenarios. One, someone dropped it and just refuses to acknowledge that they dropped something. Two, someone put it in their pocket to take it home and have..fun with it later. Three, someone.....ingested it”

“You don’t steal the blades during the demonstration. You steal them during class time, when nobody’s looking”

“God, it’s snowing again”

“Can you grow poppies? Yes. If you grow 10-20 acres, the authorities are probably gonna come talk to you”

“If you had the letters for that in scrabble, that’s the whole game right there”

“Oh, Gandhi, you’re name-dropping”

“Isn’t that dog staring into your soul?”

“I’m just impressed with anyone that can wear horizontal stripes”

“It won’t be fatal drowning”

“You can have the rest of the time to annoy each other”

“We’ll cover up the ‘attack teacher’ sign so you’re not scared of me anymore”

*chalk squeaks* “sorry, forgot to oil the chalk”

“I don’t wake up in the mornings and go ‘oh, themes’“

“I am not Harry Potter’s uncle”

“If I cared, I would’ve asked”

“That’s where the Bordeaux wine comes from. Not that you’d know that, right, kids?”

“They don’t care about your happiness”

“Kay cool do stuff”

“No, I will not allow that. You cannot just eat butter”

“If I were to buy a Japanese car and drive it into my mother’s driveway, that would probably be it. She’d go toward the light”

“Since that’s all so depressing, we’ll end with a taco dog”

“I am intellectually aware that there were days when the sun came out”

“I have to get paid for this”

“I just have under a thousand dollars in my bank account at all times”

“We are French two, we are a little better than second-grade writing level”

“If you have to ask me if it’s appropriate, it’s not”

“It’s plagiarism, 100%. Don’t even care”

“For God’s sake, people, indent your paragraphs”

“It’s Morgan Freeman and Matt Damion, what else do you need”

student: “banana” teacher: “good, jenna”

*sharp intake of breath*

“Join us on the dark side of Honors English”

*shows us stick figure* “look at this detail”

“Well, that’s just magical.” minute later: “never mind”

“I’ll try to come up with a Plan D”

“In India, they love cricket, whatever the heck cricket is”

“Before I buy Shrek 2 online”

“Next thing you throw, you’re gonna eat”

“Have I mentioned your guys’ grand prize? It’s absolutely nothing”

“Nowadays you just take a selfie. This is for you. Wink wink.”

“Hey guys, say bonjour to my mom”

“She says sit down and shut up”

“He’s my scapegoat, his mom said I could”

if you read all of these, i hope you were amused. i certainly was. all of these are completely real. if you feel like it, send me an ask with your favorites

[tvheadfalls]

hey, so this is a kinda odd question and i hope i’m not bugging you but so. i’m bilingual (english and hindi), and i’m in the process of learning german since i plan on studying in germany (or any other german-speaking country) for some part of uni. i’m in the process of making a webcomic, and i want to make it more accessible to people who don’t speak english but i was wondering how you determined that maybe doing a version of your future comic in german would be beneficial (1/2)

sorry if it sounds odd just, i would like to write a version of the comic in my father tongue (bc it’s just cool), but i’m not really sure if it’d be ?? worth it ig ?? even with german (though for that i’d have one of my close pals proofread it to make sure i don’t have any translation mistakes), is there enough of an audience who’d actually read it in those two languages ?? and if there is, how would i market it on platforms that are heavily used by english speakers ?? (2/3, sorry)

you really don’t have to answer this if you don’t want, since i’m not exactly sure how to word it and it probably sounds idiotic, but i’m really just curious. sorry again if i bothered you, and i hope you’re doing well !! (3/3)

hey!! u dont sound dumb at aLL but im afraid im the wrong person to ask bc german is my first language and i live here so that decision came more from a place of “well i cant make it JUST in english right ://”

i dont even know yet if ill actually do it if it ends up being a hassle hgjf, i just thought im gonna be the creator so i can “localize” jokes and slang that cant be translated however the heck id want. just kind of a fun past time if i felt like it

and well i was gonna upload it to a german site :’’D i was gonna upload it to animexx or some shit bghfjdk i dont even rly use that site but its like the best connection to cons and shit, just in case id ever want to table or something..i think uploading it to deviantart could work too, i was able to use that way back in the day when i couldnt speak english that well so maybe youd find someone there

so yeah if youre planning to live here (heyy ;D) it might be a fun exercise but idk if itd really rake in a bigger audience unless u post it to a german site, i have no experience with that

[acidwaste]

hey so it seems i’ve forgot to do a l o t of tag memes, and i’m lucky i drafted a big bunch of them! lots of questions overlapped so i did my best to answer in different ways, sorry for the lateness! also @ the people that tagged me here, i wouldn't hesitate to kill for you

@natcaptor / @gayspaced

name: leon or lionel!

nicknames: literally the only nickname I’ve been referred to is “big gay” and like. word!

gender: im pretty sure im a guy, i have been kinda 🤔🤔🤔 abt my gender identity since around november-ish though

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1! i’m told that I’m tall but my uncle is 6’7 so...

time: 3:36pm rn! ive been watching video essays and binging music all afternoon

birthday: december 9th!

favourite bands: animal collective, beach house, camp cope, car seat headrest, death grips, fleet foxes, florence + the machine, gang of youths, glass animals, gorillaz, hop along, iceage, idles, kero kero bonito, mgmt, miike snow, modest mouse, run the jewels, superorganism, the avalanches, the cat empire, the go! team, the mountain goats, the wombats, xiu xiu

favourite solo artists: alex lahey, anderson .paak, ariana grande, billie eilish, bjork, cashmere cat, charli xcx, courtney barnett, cupcakke, d.r.a.m, eric taxxon, frank ocean, gfoty, hatchie, janelle monae, jeff rosenstock, joanna newsom, jorja smith, jpegmafia, kacey musgraves, kali uchis, kendrick lamar, khalid, kimbra, lorde, mac demarco, madeon, mick jenkins, mitski, oneohtrix point never, perfume genius, ravyn lenae, rina sawayama, serpentwithfeet, sophie, st. vincent, sza, vince staples

song stuck in my head: caramelo duro | miguel // kali uchis! its a bop, miguel is one of the few singers that can convincingly make sex jams

last movie i watched: deadpool 2! it was even better than the first, which is a feat in itself ngl

when did i create my blog: december 2016??? i only started using it properly in february last year tho

last thing i googled: “im in my mums car broom broom.” dont @ me

do i have any other blogs: yeah, plenty actually!! i have blogs for aesthetic (@moltenstar), general inspo (@wverns), flight rising (@szarising, kinda inactive?), and overwatch (@blackhardts) tbh the vast majority of my ‘sideblogs’ are just saved urls H

do i get asks: when i say stupid shit like “rung has the ass of a dilf but the dick of a cockroach”

why i chose my url: that one panel where kobd have a vacation at the acid wastes because fuck its finally canon babey!

following: 1,767, which is kinda horrifying!!

followers: 890?? somehow??? thats almost One Whole Thousand and i don't even make content

average hours of sleep: around 6 or 7!! n e v e r more though

lucky number: 43 and 64!!

instruments: i'm too poor to afford music lessons or instruments jsbddsjknfs

what am i wearing: a grey shirt and nothing on my bottom half so my [redacted] is hanging tf out, i should put on some damn clothes

dream job:  oooo uhhh, i’m studying to get an education degree rn because i’d love to teach children (around grade 3-4s preferably because i'm too jittery to handle anyone younger and older kids probs won't listen to me as much as i lack plenty of assertiveness), but!! i’d honestly love to be a musician, one of those underground ones that get lots of critical acclaim

dream trip: one day i wanna gather up some friends and just go on a road trip! idm where we go to, as long as we just have fun and just! adventure!

favourite foods: rare steak, mashed potatoes, eggs, and energy shakes made with like. fruit / cheese / yoghurt / oats / chia seeds ! protein is a large part of my diet

nationality: new zealand, but living in australia

favourite song right now: best part | daniel caesar // h.e.r - gosh i need to re-listen to daniel’s album again, i don’t remember this beautiful song being there and that’s a crime

@damndesi / @novarebel / @luciform-philogynist

APPEARANCE - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo (but I am getting a tā moko in December, I believe) - I have at least one piercing (planning to get a nose ring, like a bull!) - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined (b a r e l y) - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping (barely) - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol (tastes like shit) - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concerts

MY LIFE - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live relatively close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone (do fractures count?) - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages (not fluently) - I have made a new friend in the past year

@smstransformers

age: 16

birthplace: auckland, nz

current time: 4:19 pm rn!!!

drink you last had: i just skulled half a liter of water whoops

favourite song: jesus etc. | wilco if we're talking abt an all-time favourite

grossest memory: accidentally swallowing a bee when i was seven years old (somehow nothing bad happened?)

horror, yes or no: not unless it’s an incredibly tame horror t b h, my threshold for scariness is very low

in love: i believe so!

jealous of people: lots of times, over really dumb things

love by first sight or should I walk by again: i believe that infatuation can exist at first sight but true love not so much. wish that could happen tho :C

middle name: shane!

siblings: my sister is eight years old, and my brother is seven!

one wish: EZ, make my anxiety disappear, i’d have a much more productive life

song i last sang: jupiter | haiku hands

time i woke up: 7:13, woke up immediately because i usually like to wake at 6:30

underwear colour: blue + purble

vacation destination: auckland / kingston / sydney!

worst habit: not remembering to make my goddamn bed, it looks like garbage

favourite food: mashed potatoes….

zodiac sign: sagittarius !!!

@alyonian

relationship status:

at the moment i’m single! and while being in a relationship sounds brilliant, the last two relationships i was involved in? didn’t work out to say the least, lucky i’m still young

favourite colour:

it’s been emerald green for the longest time but orange seems to be dethroning it at a steady pace

lipstick or chapstick:

i haven’t used chapstick since i was six but i probably should use it again, water is my substitute rn fdghdgh - and i haven’t ever used lipstick in any capacity? so i’d have to go with the former

last song i listened to:

the space traveller’s lullaby | kamasi washington - i’m trying to get through his second album rn (i left off on the second disk yesterday) and while everything he makes is undeniably amazing, it’s? a three hour album? i don’t have the attention span for his spiritual jazz, as great as it is

last movie:

monsters inc is playing on the television right now, i’ll go with that! the animation aged kinda badly but it’s still such a fun movie! sidenote: james p. sullivan? a childhood crush, so this gives me memories

top 3 tv shows/podcasts/comics:

i rarely, if ever, venture into these forms of media but! if i had to answer, i’d say;

unbreakable kimmy schmidt / parks & recreation / luke cage

taz / mbmbam (i havent like. watched a full episode of either but they seem cool,)

tf idw / …………. yeah that’s it, i’ve never read anything else. probably should!

additional favs:

my friends, writing (in theory), listening to video essays, learning music theory + instruments and understanding audio production software

top 3 bands / artists:

HHH okay if i had to limit my choices to just three artists, uh. lorde, the mountain goats, and sophie. i couldnt even fit janelle in i hate th is

----------------------------------

@alyonian

color(s): light colors are always nice and pleasant, though anything peachy and sandy are the best! orange (specially pastel orange) is like. the best thing

last band t-shirt i bought: usually merchandising is very expensive and i dont have the money to accommodate that, but like. i do recall having a wiggles shirt when i was five. i wore it all the time, shjdjgsksd im sure that counts

last band i saw live: i almost went to splendor in the grass last year with family, which wasn't only cool since i’ve never been out of the state since i immigrated - the festival was in queensland, which is around a two hour flight from victoria - but the lineup was pretty fuckin lit too! the xx, haim, peking duk, tash sultana, future islands, vallis alps, a.b original,, i was p excited! unfortunately my uncle fell ill and so they had to give the tickets to extended family :( otherwise, i haven't been to a single concert in my life

last song i listened to: street fighter mas | kamasi washington - up to this song on the album and i really fuckin dig this! also the video is hypnotizing

last movie i watched: monsters inc is about to finish and up next is monsters university! which like…. honestly, this is an extremely unpopular opinion but, i like it just as much as the original? my opinion might be skewed because i’m a monster [hugger], but i like everything abt the movie! except for the finale of the scare games and the last five minutes of the movie, both were just. dreadful.

last three tv shows i watched: if aggretsuko counts that’s the last series i watched of my own volition, which is a miracle in itself considering that’s legit only the second anime i’ve watched to completion (the first being shirokuma cafe, which i probably need to re-watch). otherwise, the last two shows i had beared witness to were thirteen reasons why and queer eye bc my cousin put them on! that first show i could completely do without but queer eye is iconique

last 3 characters i identified with: grimlock (legit. all of them), urdnot grunt (mass effect) and vector the crocodile (sth), i’m not sure what this says about me other than Big

book(s) i’m currently reading: i’m reading ‘maus’ by art spiegelman at the moment, for the third time i believe? i believe my classmates are supposed to be writing an essay on this next term and shit, this novel is heartbreaking, i haven't been this emotional when reading a book than… ever, really. it’s a recommendation of the highest caliber

@victorion

name: leon / lionel, i picked up the second name because i was in a server with an admin that was also a Leon™

nickname: besides ‘Big Gay’ i also have the nickname ‘lemon lion’ which is! nice!!

zodiac sign: archer man

height: Tall™

language(s) spoken: english / some maori + italian

fav fruit: watermelons (only when in season)

fav scent: the smell of a freezer tbh? it just smells Nice i don’t know how to properly explain it

fav season: spring! the breezes are welcoming without being overbearingly freezing

fav color: ornge,,,,

fav animal: SHARKS + CROCS + FERRETS

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea! with some milk tho

average hrs of sleep: too little

fav fictional character: One character?????? uhhhhhhh……. like. biggest cc right now is either idw skids or oz from monster prom

no. of blankets you sleep with: depending on my mood but i’d say the average is like, 3??

fav songs: i quickly whipped up some songs i listen to

fav artists: i came to the realization that i like acts that are considered ‘bad’ like maroon 5/drake/lil yachty etc in specific doses… i wouldn't call them good yet, but! i have no beef and thats good

fav books: remember ‘where the wild things are’??? that shit was like. literal childhood, man.. :happytears: i really need to look for a copy again

@thonany-klieme

name: leon / lionel, interchangeable really

gender: male, im probs an nb guy

star sign: sagittarius!

height: 6’1

sexuality: gay??? im not sure, im mostly attracted to other guys but i have had very brief crushes on girls + nb people? sexuality’s confusing so im gonna just latch to the gaybel (gay label) for now

lock screen image: its the album cover of 1992 deluxe by princess nokia, tho it was “T Hanos” a few days ago since i change it often - my home screen is venom but his torso says ‘fuck machine’

ever had a crush on a teacher: no??

where do you see yourself in ten years: ideally i’m teaching kids math n english, realistically i’m probably going down with the political climate

if you could go anywhere, where would you go: new zealand!! or the netherlands

what was your favorite halloween costume: halloween is not big at all where i live, the only time i tried trick or treating was when i was like 7?? i threw a bedsheet on myself and pretended to be a ghost, though since there were no eyeholes + the sheet was blue, it looked more like i was just a moving lump

last kiss: never had one

have you ever been to las vegas: nah and i dont plan to?? how do you handle regular days of 40C wtf

favorite pair of shoes: i have this pair of jandals that ive worn for a fair bit longer than my other pair of shoes, tho i only wear them in summer + very warm nights

favorite book: ngl its. ‘the very hungry caterpillar’ by eric carle. i just, love it alot and i cant explain w h y

[kayliemusing]

43

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? - Lick

2. What is home to you? - Cozy, safe, a place I always miss when I'm gone

3. What was the last lie you told? - My work asked me if I wanted to pick up a shift on a specific day and I said I had plans oops

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? - I think it depends on the situation. Generally, yes, but I think that sometimes we lie to people or don't tell an entire truth because we don't want to hurt someone or make something worse or hard on someone; we protect them. So I feel like if the truth is going to hurt them worse or not do any good, keep it to yourself. You don't have to lie outrageously, plus I think these kinds of lies aren't really "bad". They're coming from a place of love sometimes and quite literally wanting to shelter someone.

5. What is the creepiest toy ever made? - Furbies!!!!

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. - I don't know if I'd call it "unacceptable" or a "bad situation" lol but one time my manager was really getting on my nerves and I rolled my eyes at her. We had a talk later, but yeah, that's really it. I'm not too crazy with the things I do lol. The most you get from me is a bit of an attitude (but only if I'm at my wits end!)

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) - tbh I can't think of two but the first one that came to mind for me is showing someone you love them (taking care of them, spontaneously buying them something, giving them the last slice of pizza, listening to them chatter excitedly about something their passionate about, etc) because I think it's easier to subtly show little acts of love than to full on say "I love you/I'm in love with you" (especially if we fear rejection).

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? - This week actually. I started a creating writing course and it's really motivated me to get my writing done so I completed an assignment as well as I have been vigorously stripping back my story idea and figuring out the main beats. It's the most productive writing-wise I've been in a while I think.

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? - Not too many. My all-nighters haven't been deliberate since a middle school sleepover, they generally happen now if I'm reading a book I can't put down lol

10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? - Gestures, body language or words most likely.

11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? - Zero (wah wah wah wahhhh sad trombone)

12. What is your paradise? - I have a few!! I think there's a few lol. I'll give you one. My paradise would probably be a cozy december night, christmas only a few days away, I'm writing something I'm super into while sipping a cup of hot chocolate and I'm wearing a beautiful sweater and red lipstick. Anything cozy is my paradise really. (also in this dreamy-paradise I'm making (good) money off of my own writing so I don't have to work a minimum wage job anymore)

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) - I love the sound of rain hitting the car or going down a rain gutter. I also love the sound of birds chirping.

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? - 1

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? - I think it's good that we have something small and convenient like cellphones to get a hold of people or to call for help if we ever need it. Like I can't imagine being in the past when something serious was happening and they didn't have anyone to call for help.

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? - I think people like the escape that celebrities bring, whether it's to live vicariously through them or to make fun of them lol. The only celebrity I really care about is Taylor Swift. I don't really know much else about any other celebrity.

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? - Embarrass me or make me feel stupid or undervalued.

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? - I do sometimes, but not excessively. I do more so as a kid. Pro: it makes stories better. Con: you're kinda lying lol

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? - I tried to learn the guitar but it didn't work out lmao

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? - I used to. I'm not totally opposed to selfies, but I find that pictures of any kind make me feel worse about myself so I just quit doing it. If my makeup is really nice that day I'll take one and it'll be fine, but generally I just don't like to.

21. List 3 things you like about yourself? - My attention to detail - My deep seated kindness - I'm strong-willed so my beliefs and values never move

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? - Taylor Swift baby. "You are not the opinion of someone who doesn't know you or care about you" but I still have yet to let it sink in truly bc I still care oops. Also, writing advice: "Show, Don't Tell" this advice can literally save a writers life.

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? - I think I could raise a child, but I don't think I'm ready to. a) I don't have a person to raise a kid with me, b) I think I still have a lot of growing up to do and that's very important when it comes to having a kid.

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? - i cry, binge, feel sorry for myself, play some TS, and repeat.

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? - I feel awkward about everything. I felt super awkward at the grocery store yesterday bc there were these teenagers at the store in this huge pack and I had to try to get by them but they kept getting in my way and I felt so awks but also annoyed and angry bc I was trying to get stuff done.

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? - Introverted

27. What constitutes a good friend? - Someone who is loyal, a good-listened, has your back, and defends you to the bone. Something that's always bothered me in friendships I've had is not feeling like my friend was on my side. For example, my sister's best friend always makes me laugh because when my sister is wronged by someone, her friend will immediately take her side and defend her to the ends of the earth. I've always hated if someone hurt me that my friend would remain friends with someone who hurt me or was mean to me. (I know as adults it can be a little different and I think it depends on the circumstance, but I just really value that loyalty of having a friend who would just go to the ends of the earth for you).

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? - One best friend.

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? - my managers talking to me

30. What is your dream job? - Best-selling/successful author

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? -Hardworking but intelligent. Being hardworking I think says more to your character. Intelligence isn't the only interesting thing about you and it only takes you so far.

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? - I think probably that I struggle with my self worth because I preach a lot on self love and I'm definitely not a person to settle for less, but I really struggle to love myself or to feel worthy of love. Or that I'm not confident like people think, because I've always gotten that as a compliment, that I'm confident but I never ever feel confident and always feel like I'm less than.

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? - why

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? - Not gonna lie, the Court of Thorns and Roses universe so I could see what Velaris looks like. Or Narnia!

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. - I had a friend in the fifth grade who was obsessed with beauty and being thin so she used to tell me I was fat all the time and when I would go to her house to "hang out" she would make me weigh myself and exercise. Probably the reason I have a low key eating disorder.

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? - I don't even know. I feel like I'd just be confused and then I'd probably have a panic attack.

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? - Burn it because someone bad is gonna get their hands on it I just know it

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? - I haven't really taken many classes so far except for creative writing but I wouldn't call it "the most important" but it's definitely really bene benefiting me and my writing!

39. Name the last book you read. - I read Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover and it was a waste of ten dollars

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? - I feel like it would call for a lot of hurt feelings, but there's other ways to express emotions through gestures and words. I'm a writer so I feel like that's how I would express it to people if I was unable to do it any other way. However if I was unable to express it through words, I'd be in big trouble bc that's kind of a writer's M.O.

41. When was the last time you made the first move? - Neveerrr

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? - h a t e. it's racket, i'm sorry. however they CAN sometimes add something different to a song and make it more fun or different or just pull out a different vibe which I think is cool. I can't listen tho if it's ONLY electronic sounds. it just wears me down until i feel like stabbing my ears with pins.

43. What was the last movie you watched? - Not gonna lie I think it was Halloweentown High a couple weeks ago.

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? - I'm trying to be present and grateful for my life because overall, I feel like there have been this little blessings along the way. I had a good childhood, I had a great dad and I have a wonderful mom, I went to school, I graduated, I've met incredible people, I have a good job that pays well. But I'm still a little unhappy because it doesn't fully look the way I want it to. I'm not totally satisfied yet. So I don't think I fully like it, but I'm trying to.

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? - No, that's something I really have a hard time accepting.

46. When was the last time you cried? - Yesterday but only got a little teary and I think it was over a tiktok lol. I think I cried a full cry last week but I don't even remember why. It was late at night. I was probably tired.

47. What are you scared of? - Spiders, loss, failure. the fun stuff.

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? - i can't talk about it

49. What are some of your hobbies? - Reading, writing (obviously), listening to taylor swift music, making lists, scrolling through pinterest/tumblr/instagram, watching youtube.

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? - I can't spell occasion or occurrence without autocorrect. Idk if that's superficial or annoying to you but it's annoying to me.

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? - I try to be a good friend but I think there are many areas where I can improve. I think I'm a good friend because I'm deeply loyal and I love deeply. But I think I can be a better listener, less controlling (especially when it comes to things I think they should do vs what they actually do), and I'm really bad at making plans with people.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? - Yes

53. What have you learned the hard way? - That life is fragile and quick and it's not fair

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? - Contentment

55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) - Writing

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? - Creative

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? - choosing to stan taylor swift

58. What is your ideal meal? - Just give me a cheeseburger, large free and medium fruitopia from mcdonalds, i'll pretend not to have ibs, and we'll call it a day

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? - talk about their ex or be rude to the wait staff if we're at a restaurant. those would be deal breakers for me.

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? - I love hippos, cats, doggos, otters, hedgehogs, turtles, pigs, goats, birds, and raccoons.

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? - paying minimum wage workers minimum wage. give me 800 bucks an hour for this bs thanks.

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? - cheesy romance novels and buzzfeed quizzes

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? - youtube. what would i do without tutorials and listening to the game grumps play nonsensical games.

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? - I really like choice-based video games like Detroit: Become Human. I also really like something low key like animal crossing where I don't have to think too hard and it's more relaxing than anything else.

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? - Impossible and toxic. you'll never be "right" because it's always changing.

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? - Definitely a morning person. I'm usually up between 8 and 9. if I sleep in it's because I didn't sleep well the night before.

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? - I think my fav disney movie is Mulan maybe? I'm not too sure on my favourite disney character, I think maybe Prince Naveen from The Princess and The Frog??

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? - Why can't i have bothhhhh. I've equally wanted to live in a cute apartment in a big city AND on a little farmhouse on a countryside somewhere with a large feel and sunrises that make my heart all achey.

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? - Ocean

70. What are the best things about winter? - Christmastime, cozy sweaters, the crunch of snow under your boots, the pretty lights, coming inside where its arm after shoveling in the cold, hot chocolate, the way the street looks at night with just the streetlights, little snow birds in the trees!! so much so much so much!!!

71. What scares you most about the future? - this is going to sound depressing, but all the loss that waits there. like I know there will be change because everything is always changing and nothing can last forever so the idea of everything being different one day or losing people i love really overwhelms me.

72. What makes you feel old? - GenZ on tik toks making fun of millennials. I'm a "Zillennial" I think because I was born on the cusp of both generations so I relate with both but sometimes they say or do things and I feel like a boomer.

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? -The computer roughly three or four. My phone at least eight or nine hours.

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? - Practicing gratefulness and being present

75. What is your life story in 6 words? - What the hell? Well, this sucks.

76. Describe yourself in one word. - Gentle

77. What bad habits do you do? - Nail biting

78. What genre of music do you listen to? - Pop, alternative and worship

79. Most prominent childhood memory? - technically my dad dying - Family vacations to BC I think

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? - I feel like my mom would be less stressed with household stuff like mowing the lawn, shoveling, moving furniture, etc. I think it would have been nice to have a brother around, especially after my dad died, but it eeez what it eeeez

81. Spirit animal? - tbh idk

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? - No, but they're fun to read on tumblr

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given? - I don't think I've ever really had bad advice yet but there's always room for some!

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. - My mom, my sister, and my best friend megan

85. Favorite memory of your family. - Any of our family vacations

86. What do you look for in a relationship? - Companionship/Friendship, understanding, similar beliefs, loyalty

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? - A few. I really look up to Taylor Swift for obvious reasons because she's a wonderful human and an even better business woman. I look up to my dad because of how much he loved God and was kind to everyone, and I look up to my mom because I admire her strength and how her love grows and grows.

88. What is your opinion on social media? - It's toxic but it's part of our normal life now.

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? - A little of both. I think I can be really fatalistic when I'm not doing well, but when I'm in a healthy state I'm fairly optimistic.

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? - Makeup, Skin care, dairy queen combos, shampoo and conditioner.

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? - Worst memory is definitely the one where my dad died.

92. What superpower would ruin the world? - Mind control

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? - not go to college immediately. according to eighth grade me, i'm a total disappointment and i should have a full time career by now.

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? - I watched the disney movie Soul and I loved it so much because it was about the main character realizing he was always a musician even if he never made it insanely big. it spoke to me about my writing because I want to be a successful author but I loved the perspective of "you're already a writer"

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? - Montreal, NYC, Edinburgh are on the top of my list right now. If I spoke french I'd be moving to montreal tbh

96. How do you approach people? - I don't

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? - They're deceiving

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? - play with barbies for one thing

99. What languages can you speak? - English (and a couple words in french lmao)

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? - I can't even think that far into the future I'm sorry

101. What do you do on your lazy days? - I'm always having a lazy day, but lay around, don't do my makeup or hair, watch youtube, fret about the future, don't eat proper meals, listen to TS, scroll tumblr and then instagram, snapchat with my bestie.

102. What ended your last relationship? - I haven't been in one

103. Favorite food? - Cheesecake

104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? - I'm not sure this is the scariest but I had dream a few years ago that I was in this dark house and there was a demon in the basement and it was pulling me in and I was trying to get away but I couldn't because it was literally sucking me in. I woke up with my heart racing lol

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? - A couple weeks ago at one of my sister's friends bc I disagreed with something they did.

106. What was the last friendship you broke? - I ended a friendship with a friend about a year ago now because I just didn't feel connected to her anymore

107. Do you have any pet peeves? - TONS. people who don't like taylor swift, people who drag their feet while they're walking so their shoes make scuffing noises, people who put money on the counter instead of into my hand when i'm reaching for it, and people who treat me or others like they're stupid.

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? - it's been a while but my mom

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? - yesterday bc I couldn't figure out how to hand in my project

110. What are your favourite baby names? - I love Gracie, Ryder, River, Elowen, Leila, Sadie, Spencer, Tatum, Santiago, and Ronan. (I'm kind of into Wilder too but I don't know how I feel about it lol)