#sometimes i consider just doing the deed and k wording him

[bunnihearted]

my upstairs neighbor is actually fucking insane and idk how im supposed to keep living like this 🙃

[coldmorte]

bro i'm a sucker for soft Vandermorgan....dutch reading while arthur sketches.....leaning on eachother.....dutch reaching over to rub arthur's back every few pages........running his hand through arthur's hair...soft k*sses and giggling...

Howdy, anon! 💜

My apologies that it took me a week to get back to this one. I gave time to consider it, and I hope the fic I wrote in response makes up for that!! It’s a very cute ask, and I love tenderness between them, too. But despite my affection for lighthearted stuff, I usually struggle with writing it (I’m a very dark and morbid person - oops 😅). Anyway, I’ve been getting quite a few soft VDM asks lately, so I figured I would accept another challenge!

I was hesitant about actually posting this, but I figured, what is there to lose? It does have some angst sprinkled in (I couldn’t help myself), but I hope I did your idea justice!!!

Oh, and to anybody else who sent VDM asks recently, I am still giving them some thought! So, stay tuned 😉

In the meantime, please enjoy…❤️🖤

“Why are you avoiding me, Arthur?”

Hand freezing and pencil ceasing its scratching within the journal on his lap, Arthur furrowed his brow as he peaked over the fire at Dutch. Yet, his eyes remained wide and questioning as he pushed back, “I’m not avoiding you. I just didn’t think you wanted to be bothered while you read.”

“Oh, come on. You know I never minded it in the past, especially not on a cold night like this. We could use all the heat we can spare between us,” Dutch flipped his book shut, patting the ground beside him.

Likewise, Arthur slid the bookmark of his journal in place as he closed it. “Well, I guess… it’s just…”

Dutch chuckled as he noticed Arthur bite his lip to suppress a timid smile. He gestured to Arthur, beckoning him over once again. “I know it’s been a long time since it’s been just the two of us, but you don’t have to be shy.”

“Alright,” Arthur agreed as he pushed himself to his feet, journal still clutched in one hand. He walked over and knelt next to Dutch, but before he could properly get seated, Dutch reached forward and grasped him by his shirt collars. Pressing Arthur’s back to his bedroll, Dutch pinned him there as he straddled his hips.

The journal got cast aside as Arthur grabbed at Dutch’s back. Their lips met, hungrily and impassioned. Dutch pressed his chest firmer against Arthur’s and moaned at the warmth that radiated between them. He pulled back and grinned down at Arthur through heavily-lidded eyes, “See, isn’t it better on this side?”

“I was afraid this might happen,” Arthur laughed as he reached a hand forward and brushed some loose curls away from Dutch’s face.

Emitting a soft hum, Dutch felt himself glow with a warm, fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Leaning in close once more, he whispered, “And are you complaining?”

“Never.” Arthur pulled Dutch in for another kiss, before Dutch backed away and sat up.

“I didn’t think so.” Dutch smirked as he reached for his wool blanket and unfolded it. Motioning for Arthur to sit up as well, he handed him a corner. They each wrapped part of it around themselves as they huddled close to the fire.

Arthur scooped his journal up and leaned against Dutch, his back pressed into the older man’s arm and shoulder for support. He reopened the journal on his lap, but his position hid his face and the journal’s contents from Dutch as he returned to sketching.

Attempting to peer over Arthur’s shoulder to no avail, Dutch asked, “What are you working on?”

“What are you reading?” Arthur shot back.

Dutch felt his heart briefly flutter. He couldn’t keep the smile out of his voice as he responded, “Since when do you care about what I read?”

When Arthur gave no response, Dutch slipped one hand around Arthur’s chest, hugging him and pulling him tighter. Gradually, he let his hand glide lower, until it reached the top of Arthur’s pants. Tugging at the shirt tucked in there, Dutch moved it out of the way and slipped his cold fingers inside. Arthur jumped at the sudden intrusion and gave a shriek, “AHH! Dutch! Your hand is freezing!”

Nuzzling his nose against the back of Arthur’s neck, Dutch pressed a soft kiss there. His lips grazed the sensitive flesh as he muttered, “Why are you being so difficult tonight, my boy?”

“Too bad you just ruined any chance of seeing my sketch.” Arthur’s voice had a teasing edge, but it was lighthearted. “Read to me, first. I always liked listening to your voice.”

At that statement, Dutch pulled his hand away from Arthur’s warm skin but still kept it wrapped around him as he moved his head back in surprise. His mouth hung slightly agape at the boldness in Arthur’s tone, though he felt the corners of his eyes crinkle in amusement. “So, that’s how you want to play this game… fine.”

Picking his book up in his free hand, Dutch opened it in his lap and scanned the pages. Arthur continued to sketch as Dutch’s other hand rubbed small circles over his chest.

Landing on a passage that caught his eye, Dutch began to read, “‘But whether the resistance against tyrants is non-violent or physically violent, the overarching efforts to overthrow oppression justifies the means.’ What do you think of that, Arthur?”

“It’s very nice, Dutch.”

“‘Nice?’ That’s the word you’d use to describe it?” Dutch protested, though he affectionately wrapped his arm tighter around Arthur as he did so. He flipped through the pages for a few more moments of silence before his eyes landed on another. “Well, how about this one? ‘The whole point of America is freedom. Freedom of thought, freedom of deed, freedom of action.’”

Letting out a sigh, Arthur tilted his head back so he could look at Dutch. Their faces were close - mere inches apart - as Arthur spoke, just barely above a whisper, “Does it always have to be about politics, Dutch? Some greater good? I thought we came out here to escape all that.”

Dutch wanted to argue and explain how important Evelyn Miller’s writings were to their mission as a gang and their survival. But he knew Arthur was right. This was their moment to share, and it wasn’t any use wasting it on philosophical debates. Those could wait.

Tipping his head forward, Dutch pressed a chaste kiss to Arthur’s lips and nodded as he pulled away. “Okay.”

Arthur smiled at him as he turned his head back towards his journal and continued to work. Looking back at his book, Dutch searched for a different passage to read. Though most of the ones he noted were about ideological teachings, he did finally settle on one that made his eyes narrow and lips tighten in consideration.

Taking a breath, Dutch traced the words with his finger as he read aloud, “‘Say what you have to say, not what you ought. Any truth is better than make-believe.’”

Arthur did not say anything in response, though Dutch felt his hand stop drawing, as if Arthur was thinking about it. Dutch could feel the steady beat of Arthur’s heart as he gently massaged his chest.

Eventually, Dutch buried his face in Arthur’s blond hair as he asked, “Hmm, was that better?”

Arthur flipped his journal shut in his lap and rocked lightly into Dutch as he muttered, “You know I was never much good with words.”

“Oh, son… and you know that I wish you wouldn’t downplay yourself like this.” Dutch squeezed Arthur’s breast as he cradled him closer. “You speak from the heart, that’s what matters most... same goes for when you draw in that journal of yours.”

At that, Arthur bent his head down towards the journal in his lap. He tied the leather flap and slid the pencil in place underneath it. Lifting the journal, he set it in front of where the two of them were seated and pushed it forward. It was like a silent invitation, placed just out of reach.

Adjusting his position, Arthur turned around so he could lean his chest against Dutch as he wound both of his arms around the older man’s waist. He buried his head in the crook of Dutch’s neck, and Dutch couldn’t suppress a shiver as Arthur’s warm breath vibrated across the bare flesh at his collar when he spoke, “Thank you for reading to me. ‘M getting tired…”

“Rest up, it’s been a long day.” Dutch set his own book aside so he could readjust himself and wrap his arms around Arthur’s back. He rubbed soothing circles as he rested his chin atop Arthur’s head and watched the flickering glow of the fire.

This was real.

This wasn’t make-believe, or some long-lost memory. Arthur’s steady breathing and the warmth of his flesh confirmed that fact. Dutch let his eyes flicker shut in thought as he was once again reminded of how right Arthur was.

At the end of the day, all those fancy words in his books and his own philosophizing would be meaningless without Arthur by his side.

Dutch furrowed his brow as he blinked his eyes open. Biting his lip, he took a sharp breath and paused. He hesitated to say the words on the tip of his tongue, but he released a long exhale as he tightened his grip on his boy.

He felt safe here.

“You know, Arthur… you’re right. This life of crime, even I sometimes wonder where it all ends, or if it even ends at all. I try to do what’s best, I really do. I know I talk a lot about loyalty and how important it is to keep faith, but these moments when I’m alone with you….” Dutch let his voice trail off. Even amidst his own speaking, he couldn’t fail to notice the light snore coming from Arthur’s lips.

But rather than feeling anger or frustration, Dutch merely smiled. In a way, it was a relief. Arthur couldn’t hear him, and if he could, he would never remember Dutch’s words come morning. Somehow, it was easier this way. Whatever he said aloud, he knew he wouldn’t have to prove or justify it to anybody. He could speak from the heart.

The truth.

“I don’t know how I could ever go on without you. Please, don’t ever let go…”

At that, Dutch squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. He focused on the way Arthur maintained a tight grip around his waist, despite his steady snores. The words weren’t meant to be literal, but for the moment, Dutch could allow himself to believe it was possible both physically and figuratively.

Dutch blinked the dampness away from his eyelashes as he looked back towards the fire. The journal was still sitting there, illuminated by the orange glow. Shifting on the ground, Dutch lifted his head away from Arthur and peered down at him. He seemed unbothered by the movements, so Dutch decided to push it further. Unwrapping one arm from around Arthur’s back, Dutch leaned slowly forward, until his fingertips were just able to land on the journal’s leather cover.

Pulling the book towards him, Dutch was able to pick it up in one hand and place it in his lap. He briefly feared the action disturbed Arthur, for he whined and pressed his face harder against Dutch’s shoulder. However, his heavy breathing continued, and Dutch proceeded to slide the journal’s strap out of its place. Holding the pencil in his hand, Dutch turned to the bookmark at the back.

There, he found a sketch of two animals - a buck and a wolf. Despite serving contrasting roles in the wild, they looked perfectly at ease within the sketch. They curled around each other as they laid down to rest, their noses nearly touching. The way they huddled together made it seem believable that they really could find harmony, regardless of their true natures.

On the opposite page, a message was written, “‘Couldn’t resist, could you?’”

Dutch chuckled, Was he really that predictable?

Using the pencil, he scrawled his own note underneath, “‘It’s no use trying to fight who we really are.’”

Taking one last look at the sketch, Dutch ran a finger over it. Just as he could speak in metaphorical language, Arthur could draw in it. But the meanings underneath it all remained the same.

Just because it wasn’t literal, that didn’t mean it wasn’t the truth.

Closing the journal and placing it back where he found it, Dutch kept a firm hold on Arthur as he pulled the both of them down to lay on his bedroll. Adjusting the blanket, Dutch made sure it was draped snugly over them as Arthur soundlessly snuggled his face against Dutch’s chest and hugged him tighter. Once Dutch was comfortable, he likewise wrapped his arms around Arthur, one holding him by the small of his back and the other rumpling his hair.

Feeling tired as well, Dutch shut his eyes. With his final words for the night, Dutch thought of what he just wrote in the journal as they held each other close. Continuing along the same line of thought, he whispered, “We just gotta embrace it.”

[rason-rodd]

Do You Know Your Alphabet?

NSFW Edition feat Jason Todd

(I tried not to give a sexual orientation to Jason in this NSFW Alphabet and make his partner as gender neutral as possible to please all sorts of readers. Apologies if some part doesn’t include all genders. I honestly did my best and I will happily modify them if you tell me how.)

A – Anal:         When he is dating someone with a vagina, Jason rarely asks for anal sex. He prefers pussy to ass but if his partner wants him to use the back door he will happily do so.             However, his partner has to keep in mind that Jason always needs to be very testosterone-y and in full-dominant mode to fuck them in the ass.           In a relationship with someone with a penis, Jason will usually be the one who fucks in the ass rather than the one who is fucked in the ass though he can accept to swap roles from time to time.

B – BDSM:     That will be a non-negotiable “NO”. Even though he is fully aware that BDSM doesn’t only rhyme with pain but also with consent and pleasure, Jason is not a fan of it as hinted and stated many times in Red Hood and The Outlaws.             We can suppose that it is because BDSM can let some poorly buried trauma surface by reminding Jason of bad memories that includes ropes and a crowbar.    

C- Condom:   Only when needed. Like most men, Jason doesn’t like the lack of sensation that wearing a condom involves but he is smart and responsible enough to know there are moments when you need to wear one.       At a beginning of a relationship, he will always choose to wear one until he is sure that there are no risks to transmit any sort of STD. But once he knows everything is safe he will gladly ask his partner to either stop using protection and/or take contraception like a pill if said partner can get pregnant. Being a father is not in his plans and it actually scares him.            

D- Dominance:           Jason is a caring and highly protective boyfriend with fear of abandonment issues and those traits ultimately makes him a very possessive lover.         And it shows in bed. His possessiveness coupled with his passion and devotion to his SO makes him the type of man that permanently tries to assert his dominance. But this so-called dominance is not a way to show who’s the man in this relationship or who’s wearing the pants. It is just a clumsy way to show that he is a fully committed and devoted lover who is always struggling to please his partner out of fear of not being good enough and eventually abandoned. (Who said men were not complicated sometimes?)       Moreover, Jason fucks according to his mood and so his dominance always varies. Sometimes dominance can simply mean him on top and sometimes it can be synonymous of hard deep pounding from behind. Jason can indeed be a rough lover but he will never be the type to lay a hand on his SO. So you can forget any sort of slap or strangulation. He is a fighter in the streets but a lover under the sheets.       But submission is very rarely his thing. Sure he will adore making love with a partner as passionate as he is and will forever be turned on by someone who can match his strength and therefore who will not mind standing up to him. But if you think you can tame him forever you’re so wrong.         Jason will occasionally let you lead the way in the bedroom and he will be happy to let you do so as he will see your sudden dominance the same manner he sees his (meaning a symbol of love and devotion). But any relationship in which the place of alpha male is permanently refused to him will leave him unsatisfied and frustrated.

E- Ejaculation:             One thing is sure; Jason can’t cum in a condom. When wearing one, he will always make sure to remove it to spurt his semen on his partner. Most of the time it is on their ass, chest or pussy. He will generally never cum on someone’s face though but will see no problem in cumming in someone’s mouth for as long as they swallow that load.           But what he loves the most is to cum inside his partner (which is also another reason why he is not a fan of condoms). He finds a certain pleasure in doing so, finding the act rather intimate and weirdly romantic. He would never cum inside someone he doesn’t love or barely know.

F- Foreplay:     Jason never forgets foreplay even if his body begs him to just fuck his partner and get it over with. To him, foreplay is necessary when you do the deed. Without that Jason will feel like something is missing and view the sexual act as botched.         But to Jason Todd foreplay doesn’t only revolve around handjobs, fingering, oral sex or any other physical display. Of course he will happily do all of that but Jason is an intellectual and so he will definitely consider words as a form of foreplay. And sometimes they even arouse him more than the rest. Few naughty text messages telling him how much you miss him and his cock inside of you and the man will run back to you as fast as The Flash, his penis as hard as a stone pillar. And when that happens, you might get yourself prepared, as he won’t take much time to kiss or cuddle.

G- Gear and tool:       Mother Nature blessed Jason Todd and gave him one hell of a cock that matches his broad physique! It is veiny and circumcised, long, way longer than average actually, and its girth is going to stretch and fill any hole perfectly.           But this beautiful gear is not always a blessing. Indeed, you cannot take Jason’s whole cock in your mouth without gagging or chocking (though some people don’t mind that) and if you’re not lubed enough penetration can definitely hurt. So playing with that amazing tool demands patience and time.     His testicles are even and rather large when you think about it but they suit the P.  

H- Hairs:         Jason is a hard-worker but he is extremely lazy when it comes to taking care of himself. Plus, that laziness is also coupled with the fact that he doesn’t have much time to really mind his appearance. When he is monopolized by his vigilante work, he can spend days without shaving (and sometimes showering) and not really realise that he is in an urgent need of a razor. A chance that he is not a man that tends to be very hairy!           But to be honest, Jason doesn’t mind hairs in general and there are actually places he refuses to shave like his legs, his arms and the sexy line of dark hairs he has under his bellybutton.     But when he actually takes time to clean and shave, he always makes sure that his armpits are not bushy, that there are no hairs on his chest and his face and that his pubic hairs are nicely trimmed (He hates shaving them.)     When it comes to his partner, Jason can tolerate some hairs but he prefers when they are either fully-shaven or well-trimmed. He doesn’t like eating hairs when eating his SO out.

I- Intimacy:     Jason is very ambiguous and difficult to understand when it comes to intimacy.   As a possessive lover, he will always refuse to share his partner with another ‘alpha male’. He needs to be the centre of attention and the only person craved and praised in the bedroom. So when dating Jason you can forget any sort of threesome or orgy.           But if his partner is interested in welcoming a person that might not overshadow Jason and let him keep his dominant place between the sheets (for example a woman) then he may accept. Single, he will happily mingle with a couple but he will somewhat see this as a competition or an opportunity to show who’s the best.           But there’s definitely something that he will prefer to threesomes and that’s being watched or heard while having sex.           No, he won’t drag you to some swinger’s club and allow dozens of people watch you two having sex (he is a romantic) but you need to keep in mind that Jason is a man that doesn’t limit his sexual intercourses to his bedroom.             He actually loves fucking outside and/or in public places as the risks of getting caught or being heard have the tendency to get him highly turned on and have his juices flow. But he is not stupid enough to risk everything for a quick romp in front of others.             Weirdly, he prefers getting caught/ being heard by people he knows - and in that case he will not stop fucking his partner and show what an amazing lay he is – than by someone he doesn’t know. It boosts his ego and he can’t help it.       The only time getting caught traumatized him was when Alfred accidentally spotted him having sex in the manor. He didn’t dare catch his eye for days.    

J- Jerking off:   Jason can sometimes jerk off when he feels like he needs to release some stress and tension. But this solitary act requires a moment of intimacy he doesn’t often get because of his vigilantism that takes up all of his nights and energy. After a long night of patrol, given the choice, he will mostly choose sleeping over masturbation. But when he does jerk off, he always makes sure that no one is going to bother him (though he has fantasise about his crush watching him quite a few times) and he tends to think about situations rather than persons. The only times he will think about someone while masturbating will be when he has a crush on someone. Then he will imagine fucking this person and probably whisper their name.

K – Kink:         Jason can be kinky but he is not the kinkiest of the bat-family. There are things he will stubbornly never try or even consider (BDSM for example) but things he will gladly do on occasion (see Intimacy + Roleplay). As said before he won’t mix violence and love.   But the kinky side of Jason is just another way to spice up his relationship and show he is not a boring partner. Moreover, he is a boyfriend that takes consent and respect very seriously. He will never do anything that might hurt his SO in any way or anything they might not be confortable with.   That’s why he believes he and his partner have to talk about any sort of kinks before trying to experiment them. But he will prefer doing it through text messages than face to face. He is weirdly shy when talking about sex.

L - Love:           Jason has had a few one night stands but he will admit that sex is better when you’re in love. Plus, “sex gets better with time” would define Jason’s skills as a lover as he is the type of man that needs (and loves) taking his time to discover his partner’s body and desires. He is an enthusiastic learner that hasn’t yet discovered all the things he can know about sex. And that’s because he hasn’t had so many partners over the years.     Though don’t think that means your first time together is going to be bad. It won’t. On the contrary, it will be great but not as great as it can become.       Therefore we can jump to the conclusion that the persons that will only have Jason for one night will definitely miss something truly amazing.

M - Massage:     Jason has many qualities but giving massage is not a talent he can brag about. He is honestly not that bad at it but since he believes he sucks, he will not initiate in any sort of massage session. However, he loves getting one since he loves being touched and caressed especially on his chest and back. Actually, Jason believes that caresses and cuddles cannot be dissociated from the deed and views them as necessary before, during and after the act.         Also, he is the kind of men that will display his affection anytime he can though preferably in private. The rare PDA will occur if he feels jealous, threatened or worse, neglected (Don’t ever do that or the entire city will hear his wrath!).

N – Nudity:     When he is in a relationship Jason is not ashamed of his body but that doesn’t make him a body-confident man in general. Don’t expect seeing him walking around fully naked!     Indeed, Jason is modest and never sees his body as sexy. I mean, he knows he is muscular and well-built and all but as it is in his nature to focus on the negative, he will always be a bit hung up about the scars on his body and he will never let a one-night partner touch them or ask any sort of question about them. Only his SO will be allowed to do so and that shows how much trust and love Jason places in his relationships.

O – Oral sex:               To Jason, there’s nothing sexier than his partner sucking out his cock on their knees. It gives him satisfaction and boosts his ego like nothing else because he views this act as a symbol of submission and worship, two things he deeply cares about when having sex.           Fortunately he loves to reciprocate and he will not hesitate dropping on his knees to do the same. But don’t view it as him submitting to you. If that gorgeous man goes down, he goes down to make you scream his name, not to be your pet.           Also, it may be seen as an asshole move but if you refuse to suck his cock, do not expect him to give you oral sex. As terrible as it sounds and even though he puts his partner’s pleasure before his own, the man gives if only you give in return.

P – Position.   Jason is a romantic that craves touching and being touched and so he will always favours positions that allows him to feel his SO’s body against his or to roam their bodies with his strong hands or his lips. That’s why he will not appreciate being tied up and submitted.         Jason loves positions that allow him to go deep in his partner and to see himself do so. Plus, he likes sex to be a confortable experience for both his partner and himself. Therefore do not expect acrobatic positions that will leave you tired and aching for days. He doesn’t need that to make you feel that way. His top positions are: missionary, doggy, (reverse or not) cowgirl and spooning as they will all permit his hands and/or lips to wander your body.

Q – Quickie:   Jason is not really a fan of quickies as he want sex with him to be a memorable experience as well as a memento of his skills as a lover. Therefore, he strongly believes a 5 or 10 minutes sexual experience cannot show his partner what a good lay he is. And so, he will favour long nights of sweaty sex plus some good morning sex if the experience was highly pleasant.

R – Role Play: Jason is a good actor. He loves wearing disguise and impersonating different persons as we saw it quite regularly throughout RHATO. So if you want to role play, you bet he will be up for it and it will be a fun time. His favourite scenarios: the ones where he is in charge of course since they are the ones that allow him to display the little confidence he has without any sort of shyness or fear.     Do you like men with a moustache? Cause Malone Jr. is on his way.

S – Stamina:   Jason is kind, caring and generous out and under the sheets. He will always make sure to respect and please his partner, placing their pleasure before his own. But that doesn’t make him any less hungry than he is.           He is rather insatiable when having sex and that’s probably because he doesn’t have sex often even when in a relationship (damn patrols!). Therefore, that man can sometimes get carried away, be rather quick on the mount and become a bit of a jackhammer if his partner does not refrain him. And he won’t stop until he … you know.       Fortunately, his romantic side as well as his generosity will always remind him not to leave his partner unsatisfied at the end of the deed which miraculously doesn’t happen as quickly as one would expect given his frenetic pace.       Because he is athletic, Jason has a very good stamina. Plus, he is the kind of lover that can recuperate rather quickly and so he can go for a round two and even a round three if his partner is up for it.            

T – Talking:     Jason doesn’t consider himself a dirty-talker. Sure he will let out some naughty sentences while having sex but they will never be disrespectful. He won’t call his partner a whore or any other insulting words. On the contrary he will give compliments and make praises rain and he will happily accept the same from his partner in return.       He will also ask a lot of questions to reassure himself like “Do you like that?” or “Do you like my cock inside of you?” and he will also demand to be complimented (“Tell me how much you like it”) especially if his partner is silent (which is something he hates by the way).     He is not a very noisy lover. He never screams or moans loudly. He grunts and growls but those noises usually are very guttural as if he is fighting to keep them to himself. Don’t do the same though. Scream, talk and let the whole neighborhood he’s fucking you good!

U – Underwear:         Trunks or boxers but never briefs. Something that can hold his prominent package while he is running after criminals in Gotham City but that isn’t too tight around his thunder thighs. His underwear is generally unicolor and has no patterns. Dick bought him a pair of bat-briefs for fun once but he never wore them. Actually he probably threw them away. He likes his female partners to wear sexy fancy lingerie but he doesn’t see it as a necessary tool to be aroused. Simple underwear doesn’t turn him off but if there are some unicorns or rainbows on them … well … he might feel very uncomfortable and perplexed.          

V – Virginity:               He was around 16 or 17, living among the All-Caste and it was with Essence, Ducra’s daughter. Essence was Jason’s almost every first-times. Though she is not the first person he fell in love with, she was the first girl he kissed, the first girl he touched and the first girl he had sex with. Before that he had never really made out with anyone, as young Jason was the kind of boy more interested in books than in people. But Essence wasn’t just anyone. She was mysterious, fascinating and hard to get and those two traits are still something that Jason digs in a partner. If you ask Jason about his first time, he will tell you that even if he and Essence are not on best terms today, he doesn’t regret one bit of what happened with her. He truly loved her and she was here for him when no one else was.

W – Worship If you don’t know how to be complimentary then you might not be the right person for Jason. This man craves compliments and affection as much as one craves food and water.           Jason cannot thrive in a relationship with a selfish partner who doesn’t flatter him as he always feels the need to be worshipped. It’s not arrogance. It’s because he is permanently scared of not being good enough. See him as an unconfident little boy who needs recognition to be happy in a way.       But once you start demonstrating your admiration and affection for him, get ready to be showered with loving compliments. Worship goes in both ways in Jason’s mind. The more complimentary and loving you will be the more he will. And that works in the bedroom as well. Worship the man! Show him (and tell him!) how much you love him and how much you love what he is doing and you will be the most sexually satisfied person in the world. To make it short, worship is Jason’s fuel.   To finish, If he could worship one part of his lover’s body it would be their eyes. (Told you he was a romantic!). He loves to keep eye contact with his partner while having sex and see them sparkle with lust, pleasure and happiness.           

X- Xenophilia:             If you look at Jason’s list of love interests, you can spot some recurring characteristics. Physically, most of them have light hair. They are often blonds or red-heads and they often have got green or blue eyes. But that doesn’t mean he won’t be interested in brunettes (Talia, Donna) and reject anyone with dark eyes (Essence’s eyes were completely black!). Because what matters the most to him is chemistry. Jason wants someone he can trust, someone he can talk to and that will understand him but that also will call him on his bullshit and stand up to him when needed. In a word, be strong and be there for him.

Y – Yearn:       Unlike someone else in the bat-family (cough Dick cough), Jason will not drop his pants in a heartbeat and he doesn’t really fancy eager persons as well (Those persons are only good for one night). He loves the chase and he loves when the people he is interested in are playing hard to get. That will arouse him a lot and make him crave them even more.           When he wants to have sex, Jason will drop occasional hints to show his (potential) partner that he wants them. Usually, they will be caresses, kisses and/or languorous looks. He will never clearly say out loud that he wants to have sex. But he doesn’t mind when his partner drags him to the bedroom and initiate the deed. He finds that terribly sexy even, and super complimentary.

Z – Zzzzz:         Jason likes to sleep after sex with his naked partner huddled against him. Rest your head over his chest and hold him tight and he will be the happiest man in the world as, to him, it will mean ‘Stay. I feel safe with you’. But don’t expect to sleep all night especially if your relationship is brand new. You wanted Todd in your bed? You have him and he will not hesitate waking you up slowly if he wants to get in between your legs one more time. Hope you don’t mind.     Plus, Jason is not the “hump and go” type of man and he will always be there in the morning with his body probably pressed against yours. Though, if you’re a night stand there are risks he might never call you again.

[thebadgerclan]

SFW Alphabet: Lucius Malfoy

Requested by Anonymous

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Lucius is a very affectionate man, always wanting you to know just how loved and adored you are.  He’s almost always holding your hand or has an arm around your shoulders, or both. When you’re alone at home, Lucius will hold you in his lap, pressing kisses all over your face.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) Lucius has very few people who he considers friends, Severus being among them.  But having him as a friend, you’re never alone on anything.  Lucius will stand by your side through anything, acting as a confidant and a shoulder to lean on whenever you need it.  If you need some sway with the Ministry, he’s more than willing to help you there too.

  C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Lucius adores cuddling: having you in his arms, holding you close, it’s one of his favorite things.  When the two of you are alone, he likes to have you in his lap as the two of you read or just spend time together.  Lucius is always the big spoon, with you either facing him or with your back to his chest.  He also likes it when he’s on his back and you’re tucked into his side or lying on top of him.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) Lucius does want to settle down with you, he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. You already own his heart, he knows that there’s no other woman for him, so he sees no reason not to settle down with you.   He’s already got the massive manor, but if you want to move somewhere smaller, he’s already signing the deed.  Lucius is shit at cleaning, he’s had house elves for his entire life, but he can cook pretty well.  He doesn’t do so very often, but sometimes, when he wants to surprise you, he’ll shoo the elves from the kitchen and cook you a romantic dinner (he has to call them back because he has no clue where stuff is, but he does cook the meal)

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) It would break his heart into a million pieces to end things with you, but if he had to, Lucius would put on the icy, cold, unapproachable exterior he shows to everyone but you.  “This can’t go on, Y/N,” he says, feeling ill with himself.  “We’re done.  I’m sorry, it’s over.”

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) Lucius most certainly wants to marry you, and now that Narcissa’s out of the picture, he can.  You’re together for about a year or so before he gets you a ring, and as soon as the little box is in his hand, he’s planning a super romantic evening for you.  After a 5 star meal, complete with champagne and dessert, he gets on one knee and asks you to marry him.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) He may seem like a cold, cruel man, but around you, he is the gentlest, kindest, warmest man you’ve ever met.  Lucius is such a gentle man around you, treating you like a fawn (and fawning [pun not intended] over you as one does a baby deer), always being tender and gentle.  Emotionally, he’s such a sweetie, never raising his voice at you.  I won’t say he never gets angry with you, because he’s human, but he tries not to.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Lucius likes hugs, though you’re usually the one to initiate them.  He prefers to be able to hold you for longer periods of time, and as hugs are usually short lived, they’re not his favorite.  Don’t get me wrong, he loves it when you hug him, he loves any form of physical intimacy with you, he just prefers cuddling.  That being said, his hugs are strong, he squeezes you tight against him, sometimes knocking the wind out of you.  He’ll rest his chin on your head, and kiss you sweetly when he pulls away.

  I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) Lucius waits until he’s 100% certain of his feelings for you, more for your benefit than his.  He doesn’t want to rush into telling you he loves you if he thinks he might walk back on it (that’s very unlikely, but he wants to be sure).  After 5ish months, when you’re away for a week and Lucius feels physical pain in his chest for missing you, that’s when he knows he loves you.  The first words out of his mouth when you return are “I love you, Y/N.  I love you more than anything else in this world, and I will always love you.”

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Lucius is a VERY jealous man, you are his and his alone, no one else gets to have you.  If he sees someone looking at you a little too long, making eyes at you, hitting on you, or making you uncomfortable in any way, he’s at your side immediately.  Lucius will pull you into his side, arm tight around your shoulders or waist, grey eyes staring daggers at whoever dared to speak to you.  “Are you alright, my dear?”  As soon as you’re alone, Lucius will kiss you hard, usually pushing you against a wall, snarling “Mine.”

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Lucius is a very skilled kisser, he knows how to convey every single emotion just by pressing his lips to yours.  He’ll pull you fluff against him, arms around your middle; one hand cupping the back of your neck, the other either on your back or ass.  He likes to kiss your lips, obviously, but he also loves kissing your forehead, neck, hands, chest, and thighs.  He likes being kissed on the lips, again, obviously, on the cheeks, the chin (because that might be all you can reach), hands, shoulders, basically anywhere.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) I HC that Lucius played a massive role in raising Draco, so I think he’s pretty good with kids. Kids that aren’t his tend to get on his nerves a little, but his own kids, man, they’re the moon and the sun to him.  He adores his own children to no end, and if you want to have kids with him, Lucius is more than happy to be a father again.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Lucius gets up early most mornings, so he’s not always there when you get up.  But there’s always a cup of coffee/tea/whatever you like on the nightstand under a stasis charm, usually with a little love note under the cup.  On the days he can sleep in a bit, you wake with Lucius wrapped around you (he’s wrapped around you every morning, you’re just awake for it this time).  He’ll gently kiss you awake, smiling when you open your eyes.  “Good morning, my love.”

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Nights and evenings are quiet intimate affairs between the two of you.  Evenings usually entail a private, often romantic dinner before the two of you retire to the sitting room.  Lucius will usually hold you on his lap or have you tucked into his side.  You either read together, talk about your day, or watch a movie (Lucius has a home theatre type setup, fight me).  When it gets late, he’ll lead you up to the master bedroom where you usually share a bath or shower (which can lead to sex), before going to bed, you held close to Lucius’ chest.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Once Lucius is sure and comfortable in your relationship, he’ll start to reveal things about himself.  Not all at once, more like when you ask him questions, but he won’t hide things from you once he’s comfortable.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Lucius has a temper, but he keeps it in check with you.  You do make him angry sometimes, but it’s never long lasting, and it never gets physical.  He might brood in his study for a little bit, but after an hour or so he’ll come out and apologize for being a bear.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) At the beginning of your relationship, Lucius is so dedicated to remembering every little thing about you, he actually keeps a little journal.  It’s filled with random things that you’ve said on your early dates, things like “Favorite color: blue, Hogwarts house: Y/H, had three dogs as a child: Kelly, Mary, and Pepper.”  Obviously, he doesn’t need it after a while, but he still has the journal in his bedside table.  The last addition he made was: “Likes princess cut diamonds, jeweler on 5th has wide selection.”

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) Lucius’ favorite memory of you is the first time the two of you had dinner with Draco.  The only thing more important to him than you was Draco liking you.  After Lucius had escorted you back home, he returned to the Manor where Draco was waiting.  “So?” Lucius asked, pacing nervously.  Draco just smiled.  “I like her, Father.  She’s not Mother, but I like her.”  He was so happy to hear that his son liked you, he couldn’t sit still for hours.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) He’s very protective, Lucius wants and needs to know that you’re safe at all times.  He’ll never stop you from doing something or going somewhere, but if there’s potential for you to get hurt, he’s either going with you or putting measures in place to make sure you’re safe.  Lucius loves you more than anything or anyone, he can’t bear the thought of losing you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) This man has the resources to make you feel like royalty every single day, so you’d better believe that Lucius goes all out on dates and anniversaries.  Fancy restaurants, expensive wine and food, and anniversaries and gifts are on a whole nother level.  Trips to Paris, Athens, Madrid, anywhere you’ve ever dreamed of going, Lucius will take you there.  His gifts are usually very expensive, diamond earrings, necklaces, bracelets, designer clothes, but they can also be sentimental: a book you’ve had your eye on for a while, candy from Honeydukes he knows you like.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Lucius can be a bit narcissistic, very self centered.  He sometimes gets so wrapped up in his own head that he forgets that he has a girlfriend who wants and needs his attention.  He always feels so guilty afterwards, apologizing profusely to you.  He usually ends up surprising you with a fancy dinner or seducing you into be to show you how much he loves you

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Have you seen the man?  Lucius cares about his appearance, like, a lot.  At the beginning of your relationship, he refused to spend the night with you, solely because he didn’t want you to see him when he work up; with bedhead and morning breath

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Yes, you’ve stolen his heart, and Lucius cannot live without you.  When he was away for a week on Ministry business, he felt like a shell of himself, like part of him was missing.  You feel the same, hating when you’re away from him for too long.  The thought of leaving him forever makes you feel sick, but Lucius is quick to reassure you that he’s yours forever.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Lucius has a very in depth skincare routine, and if he misses or skips a night, he’s blotchy in the morning

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?   Lucius can’t be with someone who can’t be serious.  Of course, he loves it when his girl lets loose and laughs, but in more serious situations, he needs her to be serious.  He’s all for being laid back and just having fun, but he feels there’s a time and a place for that versus being serious and sophisticated.  

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?) Lucius puts lavender oil on his pillow to help him fall asleep.  He has a bit of insomnia, and it takes that or 4-5 rounds of sex to knock him out

[no-touchy]

Norson’s NSFW Alphabet

I figured he needs one ;3

A= Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Norson is an absolute gentleman when it comes to aftercare, considering its going to take you longer to come down from heaven than him. Usually he has things set up before the deed; towels, water, a few snacks. After however, he is holding you tight. Soft praises and lots of kisses. He stays with you close until you’re coherent again so he can get other things if you need them or to carry you to the bathroom.

B= Body Part (Their favorite body of their own and their partner’s)

Norson for him would be his hands. They’re absolutely massive and he can do a lot with them. And a lot to you, grabbing, spanking (if you’re into it), fingering, stroking. Whatever it is, he can do. For his partner’s, definitely their hips. Regardless if you have any or not. He likes to watch you walk, the way they sway from left to right. Its a good spot where he can rest his hands and leave cute little bruises on them.

C= Cum (Anything to do with cum)

Jesus, this man is a pristine baby batter maker. His ‘average’ load is the size of at least three large loads of the typical man and he loves to cum inside you. Loves to see your belly be a bit bigger with his liquid seed (yes, he has a breeding kink but that will come later). Its also thick and globby. Like glue almost but without the sticking things together part. If you’re blowing him and you can’t swallow all of him down, that’s okay. He loves to watch run down your chin. But you do you, baby boo.

D= Dirty Little Secret (Pretty self explanatory)

Norson has one that he doesn’t talk about much because its made others uncomfortable. But he really wants to tie you down and do whatever he likes to you. However, this will be brought only after you’ve been together for a while because what he wants you to be comfortable with the whole idea of letting go wild.

E= Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Experience-wise, Norson has only a little real world experience. What he does know is seen through porn and asking way too many questions. But surprisingly enough, Norson is very good from just observational learning, From taking with his older brother, Keane, he knows exactly what not to do. 

F= Favorite Position (Also self explanatory)

The mating press, hands down is his favorite position. Legs pressed against his shoulders as he slams into and watches you lose your mind. That is a five star Michelin meal to this man. But doggy style is a very close runner up, hands on your hips as he pulls you back to him. Norson will not able to get enough of it.

G= Goofy (Are they more serious or goofy in the moment?)

IN the actual moment, Norson can be very serious. Hyper fixating on you, making you feel all sorts of things. Before the moment, he can be a dork. Cracking jokes but in a teasing type of way, loves making you giggle. He notices that some soft humor can help people relax before a big moment and helps develop a strong connection between two people. So he uses light humor when he can before, during and after said deed.

H= Hair (How well groomed are they? Carpet match the drapes?)

Being a former military man, Norson is very neat when it comes to his hygiene. Very well groomed and trimmed short. But if he grows out his pubes a bit, they’re soft and curly. They’re a bit darker than the hair on his head but undeniably his.

I= Intimacy (How are they during some heat, romantically?)

Norson has this ability that during your moment with him, you two are the only people on the planet. That time has slowed down or stopped. Forehead to forehead with those slow, deep thrusts. No one else can enter your guys’ own little world. No matter the position, he is there with you and the only one with you. God forbid anyone should try to enter this little domain.

J= Jack off (Masturbation stuff)

Norson has knows he can’t have you all the time so sometimes when he’s got nothing else to do, he lets one loose. Its a pure boredom thing and something to pass the time. And a bonus stress relief. How often though? Once in a blue moon, he is a mechanic so he barely sits down.

K= Kink (What kink or kinks do they have?)

Oh boy, here we go. Stay with me now. One, his domination kink. The man loves to manhandle and control you, plus being an absolute unit of a human, this task comes very easy to him. Two, breeding kink. Even if you can’t have kids, regardless he is still filling you to the brim, having you beg to put a child in you. Three, size kink. Norson is 6′ 10″, everyone is small to him and he loves it. Four, overstimulation. Whether its his hands doing the work, his tongue or anything else. He loves to have you shaking and begging for him to stop only to pull away and making you whine for him.

L= Location (Where does he like to do it the most?)

Anywhere and anywhere, babe. Anywhere around the house, even in the backyard or front yard. In his shop, in a client’s car, in his little office over the desk. You have a place you want him in, already done. No questions asked.

M= Motivation (What turns them on? What gets them there?)

The real question is, what doesn’t? You could breathe a certain way and it makes him throb. A look you give, the way you lick your lips, anything and everything. He could watch a video on social media and be like “I should call them.” It really doesn’t take much.

N= No-nos (What is a no zone? Turn off?)

Anything that causes a lot of pain. Spanking is a lot lee way though. But things like burning, deep cuts, etc. Its a red no. Its happening kind of thing. As for turn offs, seeing you cry out of pain. (but if the tears are an involuntary reflex, then its a bit different.) He doesn’t want to cause his baby pain, even if they ask.

O= Oral (Giving or receiving?)

Norson prefers to give. But will never say no if you want to go down on him. The man will spend hours between your thighs if you let him, the overstimulation kink comes in handy here. Not to mention, Norson has a very nice tongue. Its long, he can touch the bridge of his nose with the tip of his tongue and its split. Loves to lick your deep.

P= Pace (Are they fast and rough or slow and sensual?)

Truly, it depends on you and how he is feeling. If you’ve been a brat and are begging him to go faster or harder? Guess what, he’ll slow down and keep it light. But if you’ve been prefect, he’s a bit on a harder pace naturally. Always a skin to skin slapper.

Q= Quickies (Do they like them?)

Norson is always down for a quickie. He’ll never say no to you and understands sometimes you just need to get down and dirty. But he usually has kinda long quickies, so jus prepare for a quickie to last quite some time.

R= Risk (Are they risky? Are they willing to spice it up?)

Yes, Norson will be risky for you as long as its within certain boundaries. You wanna try some very spicy things? He’ll talk it over with you, figure out a game plan to where its fun and you both remain safe. He wants the best for you.

S= Stamina (How long is the round and how many rounds can they last?)

This man will be able to make you stay in bed for days. A single round can last anywhere from 10 to 25 minutes. Depending on how long he’s been teased and if he’s masturbated beforehand. But a full session can last up to seven hours. And no, he doesn’t always have to be inserted into you. Most of it is foreplay but he is hard the entire time.

T= Toys (Do they have toys? Do they use them? On their partner?)

Yup, big man has toys. But he has to special order his. Sometimes his hands aren’t enough. Using them on his partner? Oh yeah, especially when he has you tied down.

U= Unfair (How much do they tease?)

Good Lord. I hope you have an unlimited amount of patience. You’re going to need it. Norson LOVES to tease, naughty words throughout the day, scandalous touches. And he learns everything that gets his partner going in a very short amout of time too. There is not a minute that goes by that he doesn’t want you. 

V= Volume (How loud? What noises do they make?)

Norson can be very loud, he very much voices the pleasure you’re giving him. Groaning at the smaller touches, moaning at the bigger one. Words of praise or degradation (whatever you’re into). Growls and snarls. Norson has an insane deep voice too. It’ll make you wet or hard at the simplest words.

W= Wild Card (A random headcanon) 

Norson is a ring maker. In his home garage, he has a tiny workshop that he makes rings. Sometimes he sells them, others he gives away as gifts.

X= X-ray (What are they packing?)

Norson is...proportionate. A incredibly thick eight inches. Thick at a monster energy drink can from base to tip. He is cut and a shower. When he sits down and his pants tighten at the crotch, you can faintly see the outline of him and its intimidating.

Y= Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Norson is a moving freight train. He has a ridiculous high sex drive. Almost insatiable. Always ready for you when you need him.

Z= Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep afterwards?)

He will wait for you to fall asleep. Norson will talk about mundane stuff with you. Cracking jokes and about things about your lives. He loves to watch you sleep as he holds you to his chest.

Hope you enjoyed this!

[mc-critical]

Something I can never bring myself to understand is the MY fandom’s seeming obsession with *proving* Mahidevran or Hürrem as the more morally correct, more noble, more respect-worthy etc sultana. Or measuring whose actions and beliefs were the most justifiable or who suffered the most unfortunate circumstances. It seems to completely ignore the fact that most characters in the franchise, sans a small handful of characters, fall into the category of morally questionable or ambiguous. I feel like both Mahidevran and Hürrem are both victims to the same terrible circumstances and the enviornment in which they both lived and were forced to adapt to was a catalyst to a lot of their deplorable actions and beliefs. They both came to the palace as concubines with no family nor money to their names (I can’t recall if this was held consistent in the TV series for Mahidevran’s case or not but I know this is the case for her historically as well), both of them had their worth and their livelihood tied to their ability to produce princes and please the Sultan (who will take any opportunity to remind these women that they are a mere piece of property to him anytime they attempt to assert themselves in any way.) Then there’s the looming threat of the principle of fratricide that basically haunted them throughout the entirety of their motherhood. I’m in no way saying the immoral decisions they made was justifiable or somehow okay (Mahidevran killing Mehmet, Hürrem killing Mustafa, etc.) I just feel that there’s a lot of black-and-white thinking at play whenever the Mahi/Hürrem discourse comes up. What do you think?

Thank you for bringing this up, because it's probably the thing that bugs me the most about this fandom (outside of Tumblr currently). You voiced my overall thoughts into words so well!

I think these double standarts come from many places that can be both the only reasons for a person or just one of the many. In my experience, this "black or white", "all or nothing" attitude stems from the absolutist belief that people should pick sides and root for only one character (usually the protagonist) in a narrative. They're using the standard, superficial narrative roles of the protagonist and the antagonist in terms of Hürrem, thinking that for some reason the protagonist is always morally right in all she does, simply because she's the protagonist and we're supposed to unconditionally root for her. And if they don't like the protagonist, they choose root for "the other side" instead. They're better than that anyway, so of course, we should root for them!!

To be honest, the earlier seasons of the show make an attempt in justifying this assessment, with them having the narrative voice be rooted in Hürrem's favor, despite of all possible problematic actions that tell a different story altogether. MC Hürrem was given very understandable and sympathetic motivations, thorough character exploration, gradual character development and the privilege of far too obvious Plot Armor (make no mistake, every historical figure in the show has Plot Armor, but with the many attempts at her life, Hürrem's in particular, was way too glaring at points, sometimes to a ridiculous degree.) and the writers making her enemies doom themselves by their own failings, with her seemingly only enduring the "charade". (Valide's flanderization post-E38 is the most egregious example of this.) People I've encountered that are excusing Hürrem's behavior, are citing precisely the first episodes to present their arguments, often refusing to go beyond that. Mahidevran's motivations, while as nuanced as Hürrem's, don't seem as delved into in comparison at first (the origins and backstory of MC Mahidevran are shrouded in ambiguity, and while this is thematically appropriate for her character arc, as I explained here, it definetly doesn't help her case in bringing in more vocal sympathy.) and it could seem that her character is simply antagonistic to Hürrem, doesn't go anywhere and later revels in the depths of her ambition and wounded pride earlier than Hürrem began that similar development of hers. Some Mahi stans could see that probable difference of treatment in narrative and support her simply because of that, as well.

Assessing moral ambiguity isn't all that easy in the grand scheme of things, but it especially falls short when the narrative voice seemingly doesn't support it at first. But many miss that there's a very thin line between the actions and the narrative voice, that only turns into a very deep incongruity as the series progresses. I don't know, perhaps determing the moral ambiguity is indeed so complex, confusing and conflicting, since the whole story could get too complex and many might wonder who they'll root for now when everyone is so problematic. And that's a show that began as a simple soap opera, no less! Why would they even put in the effort in this case?

Not many people are used to ambiguous and questionable character development and are still trying to prove that there is one main positive characters in the show, which is why they try to make Mahidevran or Hürrem more morally right and justifiable than they actually are. They are so passionate about the debates they engage in, because this time period and MC is truly so ripe in analysis and it could be very fun to figure out where these characters come from and go through their 4-seasons long evolution in one chosen context, but by doing this, they so often miss the depth and nuance of the subject at hand and it all turns into a one-sided discourse that drives me nuts.

There is a historical context of the issue is also important to note, in my opinion. Both Mahidevran and Hürrem are historical figures and quite a bit of facts and deeds of theirs are now widely known. Most people in the fandom have opinions of them in advance or could've gained opinions of them a while after they began to watch the show. (There are also numerous fictional interpretations of the events during Süleiman's reign and the players in it, which may also play a part in the overall judgement.) Either way, the known historical facts about them (and other fictional interpretations one could've read, of course) could influence their points of view by a certain amount and use these general impressions to present them while analyzing the characters in the show. I've heard numerous arguments that this Hürrem isn't like the Hürrem the history knows about, that she isn't "their" Hürrem and what they read about her isn't depicted all that much in the show, which takes a lot away, according to them. I especially hate when they call MC Hürrem a one-dimensional "evil" caricature that only has vileness and smug about her, no conscience, no complexity whatsoever. (no, MC Hürrem isn't as simplistic and is much deeper and more nuanced. As far as fictional interpretations go, what they're describing is Hürrem in "The Sultan's Harem" from Colin Falconer, not MC Hürrem! In the MC/K franchise's terms, all they're doing is reducing her to the level of MCK Turhan Sultan, which is disrespectful to this character, to say the least. Turhan is the exact thematic contrast to Hürrem smh while Falconer's Hürrem is the most absurdly evil caricature imaginable, at least IMO, please and thank you!) Or even more unbelievably and outright hilariously, considering Hürrem's actions and the Sultanate of Women overall the downfall of the Ottoman Empire o.o and that's why Hürrem is so ruthless, so cruel, always intentionally, of course. This is plain ridiculous. Mahidevran, on the other hand, is presented by this clique as her "victim", as a completely innocent victim that had everything taken away from her. That Hürrem had stood between her and Süleiman and "ruined" their family. This take ignores every other factor of this falling out (Süleiman, that is) and a part of the nuance of Mahidevran's character. Reducing her to a simple "victim" doesn't cut it at all. Conversely, we have fans that simplify MC Mahidevran's character beyond every belief, loving the historical figure, but claiming they made her an "evil" and "stupid" bitch that cries and whines all the time. It's limiting and one-sided and even if it appears so, there are way far more layers to her character, that develop consistently throughout the narrative. The historical context of the time period itself is usually brought up in the debates, too, justifying whoever they want to justify by "It's a war, only the strongest ones survive!" or "You eat or get eaten! We should understand their time period, not judge by our contemporary times !", which is understandable and valid, but the only thing they end up doing is applying this logic only to their preferred characters when it should be applied to everyone. They try their best efforts to make one more morally right than the other, but they continually fail in the process, because the metric they judge them from is plagued by double standarts.

I wholeheartedly agree with you that excusing one of them, but not the other for most situations is wrong, because Mahidevran and Hürrem.... aren't all that different. What most people seem to miss, is that their character arcs are so contrastingly paralleling, because both of their endings were far from victorious and they got it for the exact same character reason, gained in a different way and in a different time. The persistent insistence of the fandom wanting a main character necessarily having a triumphant grand finale fails flat immediately, because there is no true victory in the franchise. They also miss the negative character development of both of them, them having to do the exact same stuff in many instances, both of them letting go of their pasts and/or former attachments, becoming vicious and ruthless in order to adapt to the circumstances, both of them had to make moves out of desperation because they felt threatened and they both protected their lives and the ones of their children at the end of the day. Heck, they're way more alike than they're different in my book. There is no morally right, no more noble here. Both of them had no qualms to do whatever it took to secure their own future and as you said, the narrative presented very neat motivations for them to do so as a whole. There is always a shade of grey and yes, who has the lighter shade of gray could be up for debate due to differing sympathies and perceptions, but that mustn't stop people to at least try looking at the "bigger picture" and try to view their characters with a bit more criticality, depth and respect.

Rooting for both conflicting sides is still seen as questionable and contradictory by some, but there really is nothing wrong with exploring their motivations without justifying them, no matter where your sympathies extend. I think it creates a more unbiased outlook on the both these characters and the themes around them and it's always awesome to see people doing that in any fandom, really.

And both Sultanas are worthy of respect, I said what I said.

[monsoonblooms12]

Detectives By Chance: Chapter 5- Buried Remembrances

A/N: Hi, how is everyone doing? Honestly I don’t know how I am doing. I had a massive breakdown just now and my mom is still yelling at me. Everything has just been a mess. So, please ignore any mistakes, and I am really sorry if it is not good. I am just not in the best state of mind rn and if I don’t post it, I will never get it done. Sorry for the ramble and I hope you still enjoy reading whatever this is 💛

Series Summary: It was supposed to be a usual weekend for the four. Coffee, fun, friends and love. But an unexpected case changed their lives in a way they had never imagined. A mystery - a murder - many secrets… Will Ethan, Pooja, Alexandra and Mark, be able to survive? Or will the circumstances twist and break their lives forever?

Pairing: Ethan × f!MC (Dr. Pooja Sharma)

Disclaimer: PB owns most of the characters. I only own the OCs and my MC.

Word count: ~2K

Triggers: Mentions of blood, murder

But the memories that hang heaviest are the easiest to recall. They hold in their creases the ability to change one's life, organically, forever. Even when you shake them out, They've left permanent wrinkles in the fabric of your soul.

Ethan, Pooja and Alex were stupefied on seeing Mark's condition. He was the jolliest man they have ever known, his happy-go-lucky personality and on-point sense of humour acted as a charm on the surrounding people. This was one of the qualities which made him an amazing doctor because he could relieve patients from their sorrows and pain and make them open up.

But seeing him like this, so broken, so fragile made them realize that a smile sometimes hides a thousand scars behind it.

"Mark, listen to me!! I cannot see you like this. Please calm down. I am damn worried" Alex said, keeping tears at the brink.

"Lex, I love you. You are my strength, my power. Hell, you are my everything. Don't cry. If you cry, I won't be able to tell what I want to. And the pain will again kill me inside." Mark pleaded.

"Okay, I will try to keep as calm as possible. But, promise me, if matters start getting out of hand, you will stop." Alex said.

"Yes, Mark. If someone knows something about painful childhoods that is Ethan and me. So if you can't talk about it, you won't talk about it. We are heck worried about you, man!" Pooja said.

"I Promise. If I feel like having a nervous breakdown, I will stop. But please hear me out. These memories have stayed hidden for so long that now they feel like a burden. I need to get them out."

Then Mark began continuing his story,

"Remember when I told you in the car that I had a brother?"

"Yes, you said that. I suppose your pain was caused by your brother's death?" Ethan asked

"Ha Ha Ha" Mark let out a bitter laughter. "No, that man is not dead. Yes, my pain is caused by my brother but not by his death. By his deeds."

"He was my favourite person in the world. He was my best friend, my study partner, the person who would listen to my endless rambles. He was the only person who understood me and my thoughts. Or, at least that's what I th-th-thought."

Mark paused, face pale. Something was not right.

"Mark, are you alright? MARK!?" Alex exclaimed.

Mark was slowly losing consciousness. He said slowly, "P-P-Please t-t-take m-me-home... I-I c-can't stand b-being here."

The three sprang into action. Ethan helped Mark in the backseat of the car. Alex sat beside him, placing his head on her shoulder. Pooja sat in the passenger seat. Ethan got behind the wheel and drove to their penthouse.

After reaching, they seated Mark and tried to change the topic for him to feel better. The tension cooled down, and Mark felt better.

"You all are the damn best people in the world. I could never imagine anyone to be so concerned for me. Everybody used to see a happy face and think I am fine. But no one understood my pain like you three do." Mark said, gratitude and love shining in his eyes.

"But, I need to complete my tale. Now that I am feeling better and that we are home, I am sure there will be no more troubles."

Mark continued his story.

"Also, did I tell you that my brother was my inspiration to become a doctor? He was the first doctor in our family. When he was in Med school, he used to tell me the things he learnt. He built that interest for medicine in me."

"Wait a sec!" Pooja stopped him abruptly. "Stop me if I am over-stepping, but your brother is a doctor?! But, But-" She couldn't complete the sentence, but everyone understood what she was thinking.

"Baby, we should not jump into conclusions. Let Mark complete." Ethan stopped her from putting out her thoughts.

"Yes, my brother is or at least was a doctor. B-Before he, he..." Mark stuttered.

"Before he was arrested."

The three gasped. Mark's brother, was arrested?!

"Wait what, he was... arrested? But why? " Alex said, surprise in her tone.

"He, he was arrested for prescribing the WRONG DOSES OF MEDICINES TO HIS PATIENTS" Mark shouted, anger boiling and tears welling up in his eyes. "HE FREAKING MURDERED AT LEAST 3 OF HIS PATIENTS BECAUSE HE PRESCRIBED THEM SUPER HIGH DOSES OF THEIR DRUGS" The tears left his eyes.

"A-And he didn't stop there. He tried to k-k-kill our dad. He...He tried to inject a heavy dose of benzodiazepine to our dad." Mark completed. The horror and shock was evident on the other three's faces. Mark's brother, tried... to kill his dad? But why?

"But why in god's name did he ever do that?" Ethan asked.

"No one knows. The police questioned him for days, months, but got no reply. The only thing he used to do was laugh on their faces and tell them that he will get his revenge." Mark said.

"The day he was arrested, since that day he was considered dead by our family. But the news had a devastating effect on our family. Patients called, hurled abuses, threatened to kill. The neighbours threatened to throw us out. With my dad being sick, me and my mom had to bear it all. All this broke her. So once I got into residency, I took my mom and dad out of that horrid place and brought them to NYC with me."

"But their joy lasted less. My mom, she died within six months of transferring. My dad stayed a little longer. T-The last day of my residency was the last day of is life. And you know what were his last words?"

"What?" The other three asked in unison.

"Don't become Miles" Mark says, tears flowing down his eyes. But, as the three observed, a sense of calm spread through his face. As if a weight had been lifted, from his soul.

"So your brother's name was..."

"Miles, yaa."

"Mark, I hope you are feeling better now. Getting that all out, it must have been a hell of a pain." Pooja asked, remembering her painful childhood.

"Yes, it is. God, I needed to do this. Now I am feeling so fresh, so new. I can finally leave those dark times behind me and start leaving a new life." Mark spoke with a flicker of new hope, new life.

All the while, listening to Mark's story, Pooja was thinking about her pain. Her tale, her own story. She saw how calm and peaceful Mark was after getting it all out. Even after trying, she couldn't remember him being this peaceful, anytime before. She realized that today or tomorrow, she had to take it all out. No matter how hard she tried to bury it, it would come out.

"Mark, do you think, you-your brother could do..." Alex asked with a bit of uneasiness.

"Nothing impossible for a man who tried to kill his father. And also, I am damn sure if the card brought us to my childhood neighbourhood, it would lead to his private clinic. Only he had his practice set up there." Mark scoffed.

"We should look into that. But first we need to check on the questions we had written in our notebook. We need to complete the research as soon as possible. Mark, Lex, can you stay here for the night, we could finish it today itself if you two could be here." Ethan said.

"Yaa, we surely can. No, we would love to. You know, whose is a better tension-calmer than me, hmm? I am a humour boss." And with that, old Mark was back.

"Sure, Mark, sure. But maybe the points to the best sarcasm goes to Lex?" Ethan chuckled.

"Ohh, Ramsey. That's what makes me and Walton soulmates." Mark said, trying to pull Alex into a hug.

"Mark, SHUT UP! You know I hate hugs. I hugged you earlier because I was hecking worried. Now, hush!" Alex said, trying to hide a giggle and spectacularly failing

After a few more moments of laughter, the four set to work. They thought they would not find much about their questions on the 'net, but what they read shocked them more and more. As they got the information, they started writing it down below the respective questions.

1. Who is Mr Davis? Why was he targeted?

Richard Davis. 43. Investment banker. Originally pursuing Medicine, later went on to pursue his interest in investment banking.

2nd part: No answer

2. Why did no one from his associations never come to question about him?

No answers

3. Why did the murderer target Pooja and Alex? How does he know them?

No answer. But speculating that the murderer is Miles Danvers.

4. How was the murder committed?

Acute cyanide poisoning. Throat slit afterwards.

5. Addresses.

Address No. 1 checked, the MedMinders Store. Not checked Address 2 but is possibly Miles Danvers's private clinic.

6. MedMinders Drug Store

Checked. Valuable information received.

7. D.I.B.S.15

No Idea.

"So far, so less. We are beautifully lacking on information." Mark remarked.

"Agreed. Agreed. But wasn't this man supposed to be high-profile?" Alex said

"Maybe high-profile with full pockets. Not fame." Pooja said.

Ethan however, did not partake in the discussion. He was busy thinking something.

"Ethan? What are you thinking?" Pooja asked on seeing his furrowed eyebrows."

"I think I might know what D.I.B.S.15 means," Ethan said

"What? I mean, how? That could mean anything" Alex said, visibly surprised.

"No, not anything. I think it means, 'Davis, Investment Banker, Scam 2015" Ethan put out his thoughts.

"D, understood, I.B, understood, but S and 15? How did you deduce them to be scam 2015?" Pooja asked.

"I remember reading about it. It was one of the biggest investment scams ever. And it was speculated that some high-profile investment banker was behind it. But the real culprit was never caught." Ethan laid out his thoughts.

"So, this man is a fish of the deep waters. He is so much more than what we thought." Mark said

"And that also means that if somebody had come to know about it, then he had enough enemies. This mystery is getting tangled with every passing moment." Alex said.

While talking and discussing possible theories, they looked at the clock. 2 at night.

"Oh, dear! We have work tomorrow. God, let's get some sleep, otherwise we will be like living zombies in the halls tomorrow." Pooja said, giggling.

The four tidied up the living room, said their goodnights and went to sleep.

The nightmares began again. Pooja couldn't sleep an ounce. She was too afraid to close her eyes. The memories terrified her.

Enough. No more nightmares. No more suffering. No more sleepless nights. She was tired of feeling so powerless.

"Ethan, Ethan" She gave him a jerk.

"What is it, Poo? Are you okay, is it the nightmares again?" Ethan woke up with a start.

"I need to tell you. All about this. I cannot bear it any more." Pooja said.

"I am all ears, baby. Tell me everything. If this can make you sleep, I am ready to wake all night to listen to you." Ethan said, pulling her in his arms.

Enclosed in his arms, she laid it all in front of him. The way her mother was murdered. The way she was kidnapped when she was only 11. The terror she felt when she was all alone. The horror when she saw the bloody knife. And the heartbreak and pain she felt when it was found out to be her aunt, her mother's sister was behind all it. The disgust that she felt towards her when she revealed her sinister plans, her hunger for money.

At last, everything was out. As if she was free. As if now, there were no troubles in her life. But what happened till now was only the taste of a sinister plan. The actual dish was yet to be served.

PS: If you have come this far, I am truly grateful to you. I just hope to be at a better place the next time and be okay. But I will stop this ramble now and I hope you have a great day ahead💕   

Tags: @bbrandy2002 @kaavyaethanramsey @ohramsey  @hopelessromanticmonie @trrfanaddict @nervoussaladsludgeopera @imonlybibecauseofethanramsey @lovablegranny @bellcat2010 @gkittylove99 @kingliam2019@3riche @chetachisblog @starrystarrytrouble @arcticrivers @aylaramseycarrera @drariellevalentine @mvalentine​ @aestheticartsx​@angela8754​ @schnitzelbutterfingers​ @ao719​ @choicesstan1 @nikki-2406​ @neotericthemis​ @openheartfanfics​ @choicesficwriterscreations​

[author-morgan]

Deimos!Alexios SFW Alphabet

Deimos!Alexios x Fem!Reader

click here for a not so safe for work alphabet ;)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

By nature, Deimos is not a demonstrative person —he was raised without warmth and doesn’t know how to show affection. He does try though, especially once you become more acquainted with one another. Among the first things he does to show affection is buying you gifts —fine dresses, jewels, rare perfumes, and sweet wines. Then he begins to notice you crave more than to be showered in luxuries, so he starts with gentle touches —running his hand through your hair, tracing patterns on your skin, and given time, soft kisses.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Your family needed sway in Elis and the Cult could give your father what he desired. There was a cost for such a reward though —you. If you are a man you will make a son one of the masked men had said while binding your wrists. You were to be a slave for the Cult —doing their bidding and assisting the Pythia with false prophecies, but it all changed when Maron tried to force himself on you one night in the Cave of Gaia. One minute you were pushed against the stone wall. The next Maron was coughing up blood with a sword emerging from his chest. Deimos. It was the first time you’d seen the Cult’s weapon. He offered you his hand and led you deep into the cave to a private pool of water so you could wash the blood away. Soon after that initial encounter, you were offered the opportunity to become Deimos’ companion. Foolishly, you accepted.

Deimos is somehow simultaneously the best and worst kind of friend. He will smite anyone who dares try to hurt you in deed or words, but then he has no idea how to act when you wish to confide in him or even show him kindness.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Deimos isn’t a fan of cuddling, at least knowingly. Once asleep, he’ll seek you out —wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against him. If he wakes and he’s done this, Deimos is quick to distance himself —even if it felt good to hold you.

On the contrary, if you’re the one doing the cuddling —he doesn’t care (as long as he isn’t in an extremely foul mood). Deimos enjoys it when your head rests on his chest, one leg draped across his waist, fingers pressing into his shoulder or side. Having you willingly be this close to him is enough to make him believe that maybe he isn’t just a monster or weapon.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Once free from the Cult, he might consider settling down (though starting a family is still something he’s unsure of —he just knows he’d be a terrible father). Otherwise, he wants to be on the move, and that’s why he’s content following in his sister’s steps and becoming a misthios.

It really shouldn’t come as a surprise, but Deimos is terrible at domestic activities. Sometimes he tries, but he gets in the way most of the time and you end up having to go behind him. Eventually, he takes the hint that he’s in the way, causing more trouble, and leaves most things to you. He still lingers around should you need anything, though.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

A break-up with Deimos would be something he doesn’t want to happen, but it comes as a result of the Cult’s actions. Unless they can physically restrain him, he’s not going to listen. He’ll find you —it’s not like there’s anyone stupid enough to get in his way or strong enough to stop him.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Marriage likely isn’t in the equation, but that’s just because of the nature of marriage in Classical Greece. Commitment is something that frightens him though he won’t admit it. Before he knows it, he’s already given himself to you —it’s in subtle things like ensuring your safety, asking about your day, offering to comb your hair. After quite a bit of time, he finally acknowledges it and makes sure everyone knows that you are his, and he is yours.  

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Deimos is not gentle. The Cult took his humanity, but through you, he finds it again —little-by-little. You learn he can be tender and kind when he cleans and binds a wound you accidentally inflicted on yourself slicing fresh apricots. From then on, he’s always mindful of his strength and becomes gentler toward you over time.

If we’re being honest, Deimos is a bit (very) emotionally constipated. He keeps just about all his emotions buried deep within him and puts on a hard exterior —one that you’re able to start chipping away.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hugs are a no for Deimos and are probably the quickest way to get a knife in the stomach. He makes rare exceptions, though. If he’s been away for a long time —he enjoys seeing you run toward him and leap into his arms. Those embraces are always quick, though —not even long enough to count as a hug since you’re eager to check him over for injuries.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Chrysis has instilled in him from a young age that love is weakness and weakness is punishable by pain. Deimos does not even begin to consider the possibility that he might love you until the Cult’s demise at the hands’ of his sister. Even then it takes time.

Finally, after years of standing by his side, he would accept that he does love you (Kassandra may have helped him see it as such). He’d utter a soft I love you and kiss your forehead —thinking you’re asleep and wouldn’t be able to hurt him by rebuffing the quiet admission. It surprises him when you shift. Eyes fluttering open and adjusting to the darkness. The back of your hand would graze his jaw and cheek, an ethereal smile upon your lips. I love you, too you’d whisper, moving closer to him.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He is exceptionally jealous and has been known to gut men who even look in your direction for too long or with the wrong type of expression. It’s a trait that carries over even after he leaves the Cult. You and Kassandra have both had to pull him away from Stentor a few times. Occasionally, Stentor slips and goes overboard on the Adrestia.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Deimos’ kisses are rough, even when he intends for them to be soft. He likes to hold your face in his hands or have one hand tangled in your hair —something to give him some semblance of control. His favorite place to kiss you is your lips and neck (bonus points if he leaves little love bites). Deimos likes it when you kiss his fingertips. It makes him feel some type of way knowing you trust the hands of a killer. He also enjoys when you kiss his neck and clavicles.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He will say he’s terrible with children (mostly because he’s rarely been around anyone younger than him since becoming a man), but you’ve seen him show mercy to girls and boys. He’d even been somewhat distraught when the Cult guards killed the girl, Phoibe, in Athens —she wasn’t meant to die. She had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

You firmly believe given the chance, he’d be good around children, especially after leaving the Cult in the past. That theory is proven true when Kassandra has Elpidios. He spoils his baby nephew at every opportunity once overcoming the fear of dropping him or holding him wrong. Seeing him and Elpidios plants a seed in your mind that starting a family could be nice.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

On most mornings he is gone before you wake —either training or on an assignment. It’s more of a shock to wake and find him still lying next to you. If that’s the case, you seem to be the one to wake first. It’s a rare sight to see him at rest —the tension released from his body, the furrow between his brows and the creases on his forehead gone. You take those moments to commit his features to memory.

One of your favorite things to do is trace the scars on his torso. The feel of your fingertips dancing across his skin is usually enough to wake him, but if that’s how he’s woken it puts him in a significantly better mood. Sometimes when you’re feeling brave you’ll trace his scars with your lips and tongue (if you do that it’s pretty much assured you won’t be leaving the bed anytime soon).

Once Deimos is awake, he doesn’t say much —he’s a man of few words to begin with, but he will always kiss either your lips or forehead before rising from bed to dress for the day.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights with Deimos either go one of two ways. Nighttime is his favorite time to fuck you (eventually it gets to a point where can confidently call it making love instead of fucking), it helps tire him so he might actually get some sleep. Deimos makes you feel like a goddess. You enjoy those nights.

Other nights are a mix between sparse conversation and comfortable silence. He’s more apt to talk about his past at night or tell you stories of his conquests and scars on his chest and back. It’s at night that he takes more interest in you too —he wants to know where you’re from, what was your childhood like, what your favorite color is. Nights with Deimos are when you start to see who he is outside of the Cult’s influence.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He wouldn’t like to talk about it, but he can only deflect your questions for so long before he starts telling you. Deimos would talk about his scars first, then Chrysis and the other children she’d raised alongside him, about the lioness protecting her cub, and how he’d been condemned to die as a suckling babe. He won’t tell you everything at once —you don’t expect him to either— but he does open up to you. You understand him better as time passes and it makes your strange relationship better, stronger.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Deimos has no patience for anyone (though perhaps he is a little more patient with you, but not by much). Incompetence is one of the quickest ways to make him angry.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)

It’s a surprise when Deimos recalls a small detail you’d mentioned in passing about your childhood near Olympia. Turns out he remembers everything you tell him —that explains why sometimes you find one of your favorite flowers lying on the table, a dress in your favorite color, or your favorite gem. He’s quick to learn your quirks too —he knows you bite your nails out of boredom or worry and when you’re concentrated on a task the tip of your tongue will poke between your lips. He remembers everything and is terrified that the Cult will find a way to make him forget.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Deimos has two memories that stand out to him. One of them is when you first kissed him. Up until that point, it was only soft caresses and forehead kisses. When he stepped down from the trireme and onto the wharf in Phokis after weeks of being apart, you couldn’t help yourself. You’d taken his face in your hands and planted your lips against his without a second thought.

The second is another first kiss of sorts. It’s the first you kiss you shared after the Cult had been dismantled —his first kiss as Alexios, not Deimos. You and he had sat atop the roof of his home in Sparta after a somewhat awkward dinner with Kassandra, Nikolaos, Myrrine, and Stentor. He’d placed his hand on your cheek, turning your gaze from the moonlit Lakonian countryside and pressed his lips to yours —soft and slow.

They’re good memories that fill his heart with warmth whenever he begins to sink back into his old ways.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

You’re likely one of the most protected persons in all the Greek world. Deimos will cut down anyone who dares harm you. Even the Cult is sure to keep you well protected though some of its members aren’t happy about your relationship with their champion. Despite that, they know if something happens to you it is likely they will never be able to control Deimos again.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Deimos notices the longing in your eyes when you look to the sea. You’d grown up close to the sea in Elis and often went down to the water to swim and relax. Some nights he’ll surprise you by taking you down to the shore. He spoils you (in part due to his own insecurities) with gifts. But the gifts that mean the most are the ones he put thought into. Sure necklaces with emeralds and sapphires are pretty, but a pressed rose, an old scroll of poetry, and a shell full of uneven pearls are what makes your heart flutter.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Sulking. Deimos is a sulky boi. He also has some issues with controlling his temper, but he’s working on it.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

The Cult is more concerned with his appearance than he is, but he puts some effort forth and keeps his beard cropped to dark stubble and his hair clean. One thing you quickly note is the lack of scars on his appendages. The few light ones on his arms and thighs are from battle —his own follies and hubris. It’s his back and chest that are littered with gouges, burns, and raised. He looks untouchable, invincible wearing the gold-and-black armor of the Cult, but beneath it, you know the truth. He bleeds and heals like any other man even if they tell him he is a demigod.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

To a certain degree. It becomes more obvious to him that he wouldn’t be incomplete so much as lost without you. You’re his other half as the poets would say —his better half.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Sometimes he’ll stop outside the door of your chambers or wherever you may be and just listen and watch you. He likes it when you hum lullabies or sea shanties, even singing at times when you’re sure no one else is around. Deimos will watch you move around like a bee and have to fight a smile. Even if he won’t admit it to himself, he adores you and still doesn’t understand why you like him so much.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Weakness. Showing weakness was a punishable offense and Deimos has learned to hate anything he perceives as being weak —even his love for you until he realizes it makes him stronger.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Deimos doesn’t sleep much —that’s evident in the dark circles ringing his eyes. The only time he sleeps well is when he’s well beyond the point of exhaustion or has been injured. Sometimes he sleeps better if he falls asleep in your arms, but most of the time he won’t let himself do that. He has a lot of nightmares, and you learn early on to be careful when trying to wake him. Otherwise, it might result in fingers almost being broken or a dagger at your throat. The best way to get him to wake if he’s having a nightmare is to hold his hand or stroke his hair. When he wakes, his eyes will be damp, his gaze distant and feral and it hurts you to know that all of this is the Cult’s fault.

[bucci-gang]

Heyo have you done nsfw a-z with um formaggio? If you hadn't can i have one?

OH i haven't yet, but of course you can! ;0 I LOVE this man so damn much– apologies for the delay/weird format! I'm editing this on my phone ^^'

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He tends to use up a lot if not all of his pent up energy during the deed, so although it might take him a while, he'd get to cleaning you both up first! Then he's down to either cuddle or eat— mostly the latter.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself, he really likes his eyes and his arms! He's been told he has nice hips and thighs so that's been a real confidence booster for him. On a partner, he loves softness, but if he had to pick, he's definitely a boob man!

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Formaggio kinda cums a lot and makes quite the mess when he's, ahem, spending some quality time with himself, and this of course extends to with a partner! He doesn't have much of a preference, but he does think cumming inside (whether it be in his partner's mouth, pussy or ass) is really hot.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He's fantasized to Risotto more than a couple of times. Mostly ones about domming the stoic capo, but he has most certainly thought of Risotto fucking him. Not that he'd ever admit to any of this, though.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

As a chronic flirt, he's quite experienced! He is a little bit hesitant to try some of the "harder" stuff, i.e. anything concerning blood or choking, but he's tried a lot from spanking to mild roleplay.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Cowgirl, hands down. He can't help it– sometimes all he wants is to lay back and watch his partner take care of him.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He'll crack a few jokes here and there as per the usual Formaggio-fashion, but he's definitely more serious than his usual self.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He doesn't really care much about it! But, since he sleeps around quite a bit, he's tidier than one would expect.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

He's definitely not romantic to people he just met, but with a partner, he is most definitely. Formaggio coos and groans into their ear about how much he loves them and how good they feel– stuff like that.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He does it quite a bit! Some members (namely Melone, Ghiaccio and Illuso) have walked in on him more than once, and it has... led up to one or two ocassional trysts.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Formaggio is into domming his partner; be it in a more gentler setting where he's praising and cooing at his partner, or even when he's a bit rougher and teasing them to no end. Nothing gets him off faster than seeing his partner begging and squirming for him.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

He doesn't have much of a preference, but he is into the idea of semi public sex!

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

He's mostly about words, and appreciative gazes. If his partner is a bit bolder and purposefully talk in a way that gets him hot, he'd be on them in a heartbeat. But, if his partner is a bit shyer, he has no problem teasing them until they give and tell him what he wants to hear.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He's not really into getting penetrated– whoops. He's tried it before, certainly, but it just isn't the same as getting to fuck someone. He also isn't really into degrading, not unless it's combined with some praising.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Formaggio is really good at giving– he always just seems to know what to do with his tongue and where to touch his partner to get them squirming. He has no preference over receiving or giving!

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It depends on the day. Usually, he goes for slow and passionate, soon getting rougher as they go along, but he can totally do with it being rough from the start.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He loves them! Honestly, any action with his partner is good action.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Yes! He'd want to take risks and such, but he'd discuss it with his partner beforehand, making sure they were comfortable with things before he did anything.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Usually since he's so pent up, he can go for two rounds. But if things have been slow lately and he's had more time to just lounge around and do thing, he can usually last for three rounds before needing a long break.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

I don't think he owns toys tbh! I think the only toy he'd let a partner use on him is a collar or handcuffs, but otherwise he'd rather watch his partner use the toy on themselves, or him using the toy on them.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He only likes to drag it out as soon as his partner starts begging him to just ruin them already. He loves their flushed face and their cute, pleading voice.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I wouldn't exactly say he's loud, but he can be quite vocal. He talks and talks during sex, but it's soft cooing, moaning and groaning at his partner. He tells them just how much he's enjoying this, and how good they feel.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

He and Risotto were actually each other's first male partners. Having been close to one another for a while, seeing each other naked wasn't really considered weird between them or anything, but maybe it had been the time of the night then, or the fact that they both haven't seen each other for a good couple of years...

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Honestly, he's packing! He's almost 8 inches, and fairly thick. He's uncut, and has a happy trail!

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

High to average! Again, his job leaves him feeling quite pent up or just otherwise bored sometimes, so he's gotta put in that energy elsewhere.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Once he and his partner are cleaned up, he usually drifts off pretty quickly! He usually tries to stay up to either chat or cuddle or both, but usually ends up falling asleep halfway through that anyway.

[sabineelectricheart]

Woman in the Window

Summary: Madama Falzone remembers the love of another while Dante tries to convince her that it is over.

Rating: K+ - Suitable for more mature childen, 9 years and older, with minor action violence without serious injury. May contain mild coarse language. Should not contain any adult themes.

Words: 1111

Notes: Good grief, that boy does not catch a break with me, does he? Anyways, enjoy.

It was harder than I ever considered, having myself submitted to watch her stare after him like he will be back within hours, looking for her. Even if it has been years now since he disappeared.

It breaks my heart to know she pretends he still loves her, but no matter what I say, she refuses to believe me. She stares vacantly at me, green eyes wistfully remembering times when he was actually kind to her, times when they were happy together.

She is an honest, prized wife and mother, now, and she still feels left behind as he ventures off into the criminal world underbelly, leaving poor Liliana Adornato, now Madama Falzone, to pretend he is soon coming back.

Sometimes, I can pretend she loves me more than she actually does, sometimes when she stares at me, I can pretend it is not him she is hoping to see. I have been on the outside looking in while she sits and waits for him.

We have a son, a young, beautiful little boy and he looks so much like both of us and I think this is what kills her. He has her eyes and my face, and sometimes I think she wishes that his eyes were that feline yellow and cold, that his skin was jaundice and his hair was blacker than a night without moonshine.

Alas, he looks like me, with pale skin and platinum hair. He does not him and there is nothing either of us can do about it.

She pretends not to still love him, but I know she does.

She is sitting by the bedroom window, staring out into the night as if waiting for a glimpse of his dark, shadowed face. Daniele is in her arms and she rocks him gently, occasionally glancing down to smile at his lovely, innocent little face.

They are an actual family, mother and son love each other more than life itself, and I stand on the outskirts, watching as I will always do. She is mine, but always just beyond my reach.

She loves me, but not as she loves him. Never will our love be as strong as theirs was, even if enduring in the way theirs was fleeting, even if fair in the way theirs was greedy, even if fruitful in the way theirs was destructive.

"Oh, Lili." I breathe, entering the room.

She glances back and smiles slightly.

"Dante." She murmurs in acknowledgement, then kisses Daniele's forehead, to prove she was still at our home, that even if her mind wanders, she would not commit the crime of actually leaving.

She would. I know she would, and I just might let her.

"Why do you do this to yourself?" I elected to ask, instead. "To us?"

Her lips turn up slightly in a melancholic smile.

"I love you, Dante, I love you so very much, but . . ." She trails off and shrugs. She has tried to explain it to me endless times before and I know I will never fully understand. "I'll always love him. That will never change. In some crevice of my heart, I hope that I must merely persevere, and maybe one day..."

I shake my head. "Waiting for the nightingale to sing. Waiting for the harbour lights to dim."

She glances at me and my heart breaks. She is beautiful, completely stunning and I love her more than anyone in my entire life. Lili and Daniele mean the world to me and I will never be able to fully have them, her love for another will always separate us.

"I've been on outside looking in while the woman in the window waits for him." I smile gently, trying to soften my words. "But he won't be back, can't you realize that? He is likely laughing at your sorrow, ravishing on the fruits of his cruel deeds."

Lili turns away from me, looking back out the window as if she can reach him through the night.

"Waiting for a ship that won't come in. Waiting for a tear to reach your chin." I echo, with no hope of changing her mind.

Her fine mouth quivers angrily, but she says nothing, preferring to bury her rage deep into her soul, like the good Christian she is. She will wait for him, no matter what I say.

My son reaches a tiny hand toward me and it brings a smile to my face. If only she did not wish he was her child with another man, everything would be absolutely dandy. We would be happy together, forever.

" How can I explain that your love is all vain? Face it, Lili, it has been years. If he meant to return, he would have done so already. Even Lin and Fei have given up hope.” I say softly, waiting to gauge a reaction. “While he wastes your precious hours, I could fill your days with flowers."

No words come from her mouth once more. Her evergreen eyes flash with emotions that I cannot place.

I sighed, and then kneeled in front of her. For all the pain she caused me, for all her stubbornness, she is a saintlike figure. In fact, I cannot help but to admire her tenacity, I just wish it was directed at me.

"How can I replace the smile upon the face of a lover that I can never be?” I ask, in a thread of a voice. “How can I begin to make you love again?"

"You can't, Dante." Lili whispered back, looking down at her hands holding her son tightly. "You can't. He won't stay away forever."

"No, he won't be back. Can't you realize that?" I refuted once more.

Her eyes shimmer with unshed tears. "He loves me."

"He's a murderer, Lili. A sociopath. He made his choice that night when he left you here, when he jumped off this very balcony. He said goodbye, said it was over and you still do not believe him."

"He loves me." My wife repeated stubbornly.

"He won't be back." I say, then walk over to the window and take Daniele from her arms.

He grins up at me and I cradle him gently, then walk back toward the hall.

"It’s late. I'll put him to bed." I murmur. "You stay in the window and wait for Yang, like you always do. See if he ever comes back."

As I walk away, I hear Lili begin to sob and for a moment I feel guilty. It hurts her, but it is the truth. The woman in the window will remain alone forever because he will not be back.

*_*_*_*_*

Piofiore Masterlist

[kessielrg]

[Kingdom Hearts] Cycles

Summary: I have no excuses for this. There is no point for this to exist. And yet, here we both are; a super self indulgent slice of life/stuck in quarantine fic written over the course of 8 hours. Featuring, but not limited to, a shameless VentusxOC ship, Vanitas being a simp, bashing fellow classmates, and the awkwardness of having a headstrong on-again-off-again girlfriend. Oneshot. Modern AU.

Rating: K+

Word Count: 2,660

If you enjoyed this story, please reblog!

-

If Ventus had his way, he'd probably sleep for the rest of the day. Everything had been in lockdown since March. Now in June that initial joy of having time to spare had worn thin. He'd be lying if he said he didn't try to sleep for the entirety of May. He'd also be lying if he said that he hadn't been skipping meals here and there as well. Not that anyone could really stop him; Aqua was considered an essential employee and still worked a 40 hour workweek. Terra's job had mandated him to be there every other week. Then there was just Ven himself and his twin Vanitas, who had no job and certainly had no interest to do so at this time.

As Ven contemplated at least doing laundry for the day, his phone started to ring. He recognized the number and immediately answered it.

“Hello?” he said, hoping that he didn't sound as tired as he felt.

“Hey Ven.” the voice of his on-again-off-again girlfriend Sabrina greeted. While it wasn't the most melodious of voices (if anything, she could get shrill quickly), it was still a comfort to hear her voice on the other end.

“Is something wrong?” Ven then asked.

“No.” came the little hum. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”

Even though he figured she wasn't quite telling him the truth, it didn't stop the humble blush from appearing on his face.

Ventus had met Sabrina way back during junior high open house night. They really hadn't talked much during those years, though. Sabrina had enough energy to be the poster child for the next Energizer Bunny. There were days when Ven simply couldn't keep up with her no matter how hard he tried. It was an accidental kiss during prom in tenth grade that launched their relationship into high drive. Or, it would have, had Sabrina not have a slight lingering fear of commitment.

They were currently in their 'on' cycle at the moment. Which, in and of itself, was a miracle due to the craziness of the plague known as COVID-19. Just like how everyone thought the virus would be dealt with in a month's time, Ven was sure that three months into quarantine and Sabrina would have decided it was time for them to split again. But she didn't- possibly because they were both each other's source of sanity from their rather large households. Ven sometimes wondered if it was because they weren't actually 'together' like they would have without a virus going around, or if she genuinely hated being stuck at home.

“What'cha doing today?” Sabrina then asked.

“Oh, I dunno.” Ven carefully admitted. “Try to hide from Vanitas, maybe make dinner with Aqua. I think Terra's working on the pool so he can have some place to exercise since he can't go to the gym.” He paused for a moment before warily adding, “What are you doing?”

“Thinking I'm gonna come over to your house.”

Ven's heart suddenly jolted into his throat. “You can't do that!” he immediately blurted.

“Why not?” came the rather callous reply.

“Because we're in quarantine!”

Ven hated that he could hear her give a little click of her tongue. He hated it even more when she said, “Have you been anywhere in the past week?”

“No.”

“Has anyone else?”

Knowing where this conversation was going, Ven let out a hard sigh. “No...”

“Then I'm coming over.” she decided with certainty. “Give me about 10 minutes. I still need to get in the shower.”

Ven let out another exasperated sigh as he buried his face in his hands. It was useless trying to convince Sabrina otherwise. It was one of the things that he both loved and hated about her.

“Be safe on the ride over. Please?” he then requested. “Terra's said that the folks that are still on the road are crazier than the normal traffic.”

Sabrina snorted. “That's because they're stir crazy. Or suicidal because they're essential employees. About the same, really.”

“Please be careful.” Ven repeated, this time with a bit more pleading in his voice.

“I'll be just as careful as I was when we played seven minutes in heaven at Kairi's birthday party.” Sabrina informed him- he could almost hear the cheeky grin she had on her face while she said it too. “Byyyye~!”

And just like that, the line went dead, and Ven was sure that his blush was even darker than before. He glanced over at his clock. If Sabrina was coming over, he might as well take a quick shower. Goodness knows how long he's worn the pair of lounge pants he had on. It was time for a change anyway.

. . .

Terra unscrewed the cap of his water bottle with a near prejudice. The sips he took where long and even more angered as he downed nearly the entirety of the bottle's contents in a few seconds. Why did they even have an above ground pool if no one else was going to take care of it? The water was green enough to be called a swamp, the filter pump had a busted part somewhere, and he was almost certain at this point that the pool itself had a tear somewhere. He wasn't going to lie, Terra was ready to give up and resign to a fate of playing Wii Fit until the lockdown let up.

“Aqua must be getting quite the eyeful from her bedroom right about now.”

Recognizing the voice, Terra paused and looked toward the drive lane. Still sitting there in her convertible was Sabrina. She had sunglasses over her eyes, but her teasing smirk was as clear as day. Terra's face fell before deciding to go over to his best friend's noncommittal girlfriend.

“Top knots don't work on you.” he informed her in a toneless voice. At this, the smirk was instantly wiped off of her face. She even absently placed a hand on said top knot that was actually doing a pretty decent job of keeping her raven black hair out of her face. A scowl then found its way onto her features. Terra perfectly ignored all of it.

“Ven didn't say you were coming over.” he instead said to her.

“That's because I invited myself.”

“How did I not guess...” Terra muttered under his breath. “You do know we're in lockdown, right?”

“Urg, not you too.” the young woman grumbled. “Look, I have a box full of clothes here somewhere. I could practically live here if I felt like it.”

The look Terra gave her silently passed the message that they both knew she wouldn't.

“So,” Terra started to say just to change the subject, “Are you taking Ven with you, or...”

“Ha! You're not that lucky this time.” the younger of the two laughed. “I'm staying here.”

“For how long?”

At this, Sabrina tilted her sunglasses at him. “Remember that box of clothes I mentioned earlier? Still relevant.”

Terra shook his head. He couldn't argue against it- he had other things to do than bicker with a self appointed princess.

“The door's unlocked.” he instead said. “Just keep your shoes at the door, Aqua's been on a cleaning streak since quarantine started.”

“Thanks muscle head.” Sabrina cheekily agreed as she shut her car's engine off.

Sabrina absolutely loved -and conversely was very jealous of- the house Ven and his friends lived in. Deeded to Aqua and Terra after the latter's adoptive father passed, the spacious farmhouse boasted four full bedrooms and an incredibly beautiful kitchen. It had also become a near second home to her since she and Ven started to hang out. There was even the bonus of not having four year old sextuplet adoptive siblings running around. Who would say no to that?

Heading straight to the game room, Sabrina entered the room without so much announcing she had arrived. Ven didn't notice; he was working over by the TV, making sure that both the Roku and Xbox were plugged in. Sabrina offered him a small smile before heading to the couch. She flopped herself down, landing on her back and making herself comfortable not long after. When Ven finally turned around to look for the remote controls, he nearly jumped out of his skin seeing his girlfriend casually lounging on the couch.

“Draw me like one of your french girls, Jack.” Sabrina even teased. Ven almost immediately looked away again, his face flushed and a hand nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

“You're early.” he noted as he went over to the couch.

“Are you kidding?” she snorted. “I couldn't get here fast enough.”

“Traffic bad?” Ven asked before bending down to give her a small kiss.

Sabrina shook her head as he then sat down next to her. “Too loud at home.” She looked up at the ceiling and let out a hard sigh. “They're sooo bored, and there's nothing we can really do about it than let them do whatever all day. Or hang them from the ceiling. I'm down for that. Ozzie, though? Not so much.”

“You know, it would be a lot quieter if you went to Kairi and Namine's house.” Ven gently told her as he reached for a remote. He turned the TV on, filling the room with the noises of some news channel. Ven quickly changed it.

“Nah.” Sabrina disagreed with a flick of her hand. “If I was gonna do that, I'd go over to Ephemer's. He lives closer to me than anyone else. But he's too busy threewaying with Skuld and that super quiet kid of 3-C.” A small look of thought crossed Sabrina's face as she considered something. She tilted her head up to look at Ven. “What is their gender by the way?”

Ven gave a small half shrug. It didn't really matter to him.

“Maybe they're like Xion and identify as nonbinary?”

“I guess.” came the sighing agreement. Sabrina relaxed her head, then carefully turned it to look at the TV. “You've got a game plan today, or nah?”

Ventus tilted his head to the side a little in thought, but when he opened his mouth to answer, he was cut off by someone else.

“He's going to watch me sweep you off your feet, obviously.”

Both Sabrina and Ventus turned their attention to see Vanitas at the doorway. Seeing him caused a rather unnerved smirk to appear on the young woman's face.

“In your dreams, Vanitas.” she told him- her voice was sickeningly sweet, but still held an edge that the dark haired boy ignored. Despite this, Vanitas also came toward the couch.

“Come on Wabi-Sabi, give me a little chance.” he teased, passing by Ven with full knowledge that his older twin would do nothing to stop him.

“I did.” Sabrina countered as she folded her arms. “And you used it to say you were Ven.”

“It was an honest attempt.”

“I was nearly expelled.” Ven cut in. His voice was a bit darker now as well.

Vanitas only shrugged. “C'est la vie of a twin.”

It was almost unnoticeable, but both Ventus and Sabrina gave him a low growl.

“You really wanna do something for me?” Sabrina asked him in a sweet voice, raising her leg up to his eye range. Vanitas did not hesitate to place a gentle hand near her ankle and give it a kiss.

“Of course, my lady.” Vanitas purred.

“Then make me and Ven a pizza.” she informed him, lightly kicking his chest. “A real one too- not whatever frozen monstrosity that's been at the back of your freezer since the last Joe Corbi's.”

Vanitas grunted, all but swatting her foot away in frustration, before leaving the living room. Sabrina looked rather pleased with herself. She tilted her head up to look at Ven again.

“You're welcome.” she grinned.

“He'll be back in an hour.”

Her grin immediately became a grimace. “See if I care.”

And with that, Ventus turned on the Xbox and started to play whatever game had been left in it last. Sabrina made a few adjustments to her sitting position to better watch him. A peaceful silence came between them as Ven played his game. Occasionally, unconsciously, Sabrina would look up at Ven for a moment before looking back at the TV.

“Who would you date if you didn't have me?”

“Oh, I dunno.” Ventus replied, barely looking away from his game. Which meant that his answers were going to be half-hearted at best. “Strelitzia's kinda cute, I guess. But her brother seems kinda scary if you so much look at her funny. And I know for a fact that Namine definitely wouldn't treat me like you do.”

“That's 'cuz Namine's too shy, whereas I'm...”

“Bossy?”

“A boss.”

To this, Ven smirked. “Not the word I would have used.” he teasingly mused. “But alright.”

Sabrina gave him a fake gasp. She immediately sat up and took the controller straight out of Ven's hand- lightly tossing it to the floor.

“Hey!” Ven declared, turning to face her. But he stopped all thought processes when he realized just how close she had placed her face next to his. Ven could feel his breathing hitch and his heart beat faster the longer he looked into her chocolate brown eyes.

“You're so mean to me.” he whispered in a near husk. Sabrina only offered a teasing grin.

“You love it.” she insisted before leaning closer to him. Ven mirrored her, closing the distance between them. When they could just barely brush their lips against the others, Sabrina suddenly pulled away.

“Wait, do you smell that?”

Confused, his mind wanting other things, Ventus paused and started to sniff the air. The duo tried to figure out what exactly they were smelling. It was almost like the smell of freshly baked bread and tomato sauce.

“Oh my god.” Sabrina marveled when she realized what it was. She turned to Ven with a wide, thoroughly bemused grin. “He's actually doing it. Vanitas is actually making us a pizza.”

“You.” Ven corrected. “He's making you a pizza.”

“You know I'll share.”

“Assuming he makes enough to share.”

“Should've told him to make it 9 inches.” Sabrina then noted, sitting up as the moment of intimacy had passed at the distraction. “If he's the desperate to actually make a pizza by scratch, then he's desperate enough to pull out a ruler to make it exactly 9 inches too.”

“You just enjoy stringing all of us along, don't you?” Ventus wondered before he could stop himself. Hearing it made Sabrina pause for a moment. She looked at him with a rather demeaning raise of her eyebrow.

“Even if I am,” she said, “You're still kind to me. Not sure who's the bigger idiot; you or me.”

“Maybe both.” he suggested in a soft voice.

Sabrina looked away. “Yeah… Maybe.”

A small silence fell on them after this. Unlike before, it wasn't a good one.

“Let's make Vanitas jealous.” Ventus suddenly suggested.

Sabrina jumped in her spot. She looked back at him with wide eyes. He looked back at her with almost the same expression- apparently even more shocked that he would say such a thing.

“Are you serious?” Sabrina questioned, a bemused grin etching its way on her face.

Ven looked at her for a moment. The idea was… rather tempting, actually. It wouldn't have been the first time that they were caught making out. Let alone the first time they wanted someone to find out that they were. He looked back up at her and gave a firm nod. “Dead serious.” he affirmed.

“You're such a bad-” Sabrina started to say, but Ven had cut her off with a heated kiss. The rest of her sentence was murmured into his lips. As the kiss deepened, Ven carefully laid Sabrina down on the couch to further continue their antics in comfort.

Quarantine be damned, making out was fun.

[severalspoons]

“Wolfwood Mood” quotes

To be updated as I find more.

God may judge you, but His sins outnumber your own. --  @afabbaeddel

“Cynic, n. A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.” ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.” ― Bill Watterson

“An encouraged person will eventually get his drive from encouragement; he becomes more dependent. A person that never really receives encouragement learns to move out of spite; he becomes more independent.” ― Criss Jami, Killosophy

They're going to have to glue you back together, IN HELL! -- Demoman in Team Fortress 2

Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” ― Dylan Thomas, Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

“Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.”- Epictetus

“When you love you wish to do things for. You wish to sacrifice for. You wish to serve.” ― Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms 

I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me. --Fallout New Vegas NPC

“We all have strength enough to endure the misfortunes of others.” ― Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Man can get used to anything, the scoundrel. --Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment

“And what's strange, what would be marvelous, is not that God should really exist; the marvel is that such an idea, the idea of the necessity of God, could enter the head of such a savage, vicious beast as man.” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

“To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's.” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment

“The soul is healed by being with children.” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky

“People speak sometimes about the "bestial" cruelty of man, but that is terribly unjust and offensive to beasts, no animal could ever be so cruel as a man, so artfully, so artistically cruel.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

“We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment

“Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky

“Killing myself was a matter of such indifference to me that I felt like waiting for a moment when it would make some difference.” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Dream Of A Ridiculous Man

“Destroy my desires, eradicate my ideals, show me something better, and I will follow you.” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky

“The whole work of man really seems to consist in nothing but proving to himself every minute that he is a man and not a piano key.” ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground

“One man doesn't believe in god at all, while the other believes in him so thoroughly that he prays as he murders men!” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Idiot

“Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.” ― George Carlin

“Real courage is when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.” ― Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!” ― Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967

“You only live twice: Once when you are born And once when you look death in the face” ― Ian Fleming, You Only Live Twice 

“There is no ideal world for you to wait around for. The world is always just what it is now, and it's up to you how you respond to it.” ― Isaac Marion, Warm Bodies

My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.” ― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“Freedom is what we do with what is done to us.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre

“Better to die on one's feet than to live on one's knees.” ― Jean Paul Sartre 

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does. It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre

“There is no reality except in action.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre, Existentialism is a Humanism

“Life—the way it really is—is a battle not between good and bad, but between bad and worse.” ― Joseph Brodsky

“mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.” ― Joseph Heller

“Do you know what it means to be a survivor? It means that not only do you have to live through things, you have to live with them as well. The second part is much harder and sometimes it takes the rest of your life to learn how to do it. But at least you have the rest of your life…” ― Josephine Angelini, Firewalker

“Someone has to be stoic, for the sake of, in spite of, and in the face of all those who are, not. Someone, has to be serious. Someone has to choose to forgo choice, so that there is an option left for others to consider. Everyone can't be, someone.” ― Justin K. McFarlane Beau

“Loving someone always requires you to not love others.” ― Koushun Takami, Battle Royale

“Dignity is as essential to human life as water, food, and oxygen. The stubborn retention of it, even in the face of extreme physical hardship, can hold a man's soul in his body long past the point at which the body should have surrendered it.” ― Laura Hillenbrand, Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience and Redemption

“We are not defined by the things we do in order to survive. We do not apologize for them,” she says quietly, eyes never leaving mine. “Maybe they have broken you, but you are a sharper weapon because of it. And it is time to strike.” ― Laura Sebastian, Ash Princess 

“People are petty, spiteful creatures. What they can't use, hurt, steal, or control, they'll usually destroy.” ― Lorna Reid, Darkwalkers

“Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.” ― Lucius Annaeus Seneca

“If someone puts their hands on you make sure they never put their hands on anybody else again.” ― Malcom X

“Think of it! We could have gone on longing for one another and pretending not to notice forever. This obsession with dignity can ruin your life if you let it.” ― Mary Ann Shaffer, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

“Does anything in nature despair except man? An animal with a foot caught in a trap does not seem to despair. It is too busy trying to survive. It is all closed in, to a kind of still, intense waiting. Is this a key? Keep busy with survival.” ― May Sarton, Journal of a Solitude 

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them." ― Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter

You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I'll rise.

--Maya Angelou

You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I’ll rise.

--Maya Angelou  

“Somehow, even in the worst of times, the tiniest fragments of good survive. It was the grip in which one held those fragments that counted.” ― Melina Marchetta, Finnikin of the Rock

“Show me somebody who is always smiling, always cheerful, always optimistic, and I will show you somebody who hasn't the faintest idea what the heck is really going on.” ― Mike Royko

“Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it.” ― Rabindranath Tagore, Collected Poems and Plays of Rabindranath Tagore

“Survival," I said softly. "It's selfish, and it's dark, and we've always been a species willing to do anything to satisfy our needs.  ― Rachel Caine, Total Eclipse

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson  

“To have endured horrors, to have seen the worst of humanity and have your life made unrecognizable by it, to come out of all that honorable and brave— that was magical.” ― Ransom Riggs, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

“We'd stared into the face of Death, and Death blinked first. You'd think that would make us feel brave and invincible. It didn't.” ― Rick Yancey, The 5th Wave  

“I judge you unfortunate because you have never lived through misfortune. You have passed through life without an opponent—no one can ever know what you are capable of, not even you.” – Seneca

I will fight you in Hell upon a mound of bones. -- @shitmygaywifesays

“As long as there’s two people left on the planet, someone is gonna want someone dead.” -- Sniper, Team Fortress 2

"If God had wanted you to live, he would not have created me!” -- Soldier, Team Fortress 2

babies cry because they are alive and that is the saddest thing to be. — spencer madsen (@spencermadsen) December 15, 2011

Do you think God stays in heaven because He, too, lives in fear of what He’s created? --Spykids 2nd movie

“No one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. No one can chart that blue and lonely section of hell. There are no maps of the change. You just come out the other side.  Or you don't.” -- Stephen King, The Stand

“The only thing that matters in the end is your own survival. It's what humans and cockroaches are best at.” ― Susan Ee, World After

If there was anything that depressed him more than his own cynicism, it was that quite often it still wasn’t as cynical as real life. --Terry Pratchett, Guards, Guards!

“I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.” ― Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards! 

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." -- Theodore Roosevelt 

I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees. --Unknown

if you stay alive for no other reason at all, please do it for spite. -- Unknown

Hell is empty, and all the devils are here. -- Unknown Tumblr post

“Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride 

“The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves.” ― William Shakespeare, Julius Caesar

...I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL— wint ( @dril ) May 22, 2012

#Yes I will put Shakespeare side by side with Dril #fight me

[himbowelsh]

valentine's day with Eugene Jackson or Henry Jones, pls ♡

valentines day alphabet  ( accepting! )

yo what’s up can you hear me screaminggggg i had no idea how to do this!!  they’re both such minor characters, but i went with jackson because i’d already written a few headcanons on him already.  hope this is okay, love!!

A   :   AFFECTION.   how does your muse show affection?

Physical affection all the way, baby  ---  Jackson’s the kind of guy who doesn’t think twice about it. He loves touching as much as he loves being touched   ---  a hand on someone’s arm or clutching their shoulder is a great way to let them know that they aren’t alone. (It helps that he’s a hugger.) When he really cares for someone, he’s prone to teasing them as well  ---  always in good humor, but his sharp-witted jokes underscore a deep affection.

B   :   BOUQUET.   does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

Lol nah. His mama was passionate about her flower garden, and Eugene was basically forbidden to go near it when he was little (being the type of kid who caused carnage without even trying). He’s developed a natural distaste for flowers ever since. Not a fan of bouquets at all, and tries to avoid them.

C   :   CHOCOLATE.   does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

All chocolate is good chocolate  ---  which is why he should just be given all the chocolate.

D   :   DATE.   what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

He’d love something daredevil-ey, like jetskiiing or parasailing; even an amusement park date, as long as his partner’s willing to ride all the giant coasters. He craves that shot of adrenaline, but also to see how his partner reacts under intense circumstances. Nothing’s sexier than steel nerves.

E   :   EMBRACE.   does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

I’ll reiterate  ---   Jackson is a hugger, and he’s not ashamed of it. Part of it comes from growing up in a big family, when sometimes in the winters you just had to dogpile each other to stay warm. He loves being held, but especially loves getting to hold someone else; just feeling another body presses against his summons a tranquility within him that’s not often seen. His hugs tend to last a few seconds   ---  and god forbid he sits down to hold someone, because then he’s in it for the long haul. Half-assed snuggling? Not here, no sir.

F   :   FLIRT.   is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

Lots of winking; he’s got an arsenal of pick-up lines, ranging from really corny to really dirty, and he’ll whip them out according to his mood. No champion flirt, but he gets points for trying. Also very liberal with buying people drinks, so that helps.

G   :   GIFT.   is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

No! He’s horrible at it! The absolute worst! Which isn’t to say he doesn’t try, but he’s not intuitive when it comes to what the people in his life want...  so if he tries to get them something, it’s always exactly the wrong thing.  His mother doesn’t need a new potholder, she already has five! What does his sister need a geometry textbook for, she finished school last year! Just go with gift cards, buddy, it’s your safest option.

H   :   HEART.   is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

Jackson rushes into everything, and falling in love is no exception. As soon as someone strikes his heartstrings, he’s all in. However, it’s harder than you’d think to get to that point; he’s not easily moved emotionally, so for someone to capture his heart they’d really have to make an impression.

I    :   I LOVE YOU.   does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

It’s not something he really gives much thought to. His partner would probably have to say it first   ---  it’d give him pause for a moment, just enough to stop and realize, “oh, that’s pretty cool”, followed by, “huh, should I have said that first?”  immediately succeeded by “ah, what the hell, I’m saying it now”. Once that barrier’s been crossed in a relationship, he says it enthusiastically and often. 

J   :   JEALOUSY.   does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

Extremely.  He’s not ashamed of it, either  ---  in a relationship, a fella’s got certain rights, and those rights include not seeing some other guy cozying up to his partner. Jackson will make a scene about it, and if they choose not to take the hint, isn’t above throwing a punch. While his partner might be a little embarrassed, he doesn’t have any shame

K   :   KISS.   is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

He uses a lot of tongue. Like...  occasionally too much tongue. He’s a biter, too, bit is more careful with that, and it works to his advantage. When he takes his partner’s lip into his mouth, allowing his teeth to bare down on the skin just enough to get them moaning, he means business. Loves to have his hands on his partner’s ass while kissing, feeling it up like a prize ham at the fair. Definitely a grinder; even though he gets ahead of himself quickly, his kisses are a whirlwind, definitely worth the price of admission.

L   :   LOVE.   who does your muse love?

He’s a bit of a Momma’s Boy, even if he won’t admit it   ---   she’s always got prize place in his heart, and the last thing Jackson would want to do is hurt her. (Unfortunately, impulsive sons have a talent for hurting their mothers.) He’s very fond of his siblings, had a few teachers in elementary school that he’ll still sing the praises of today, and is very, very attached to his buddies.

M   :   MOONLIGHT.   is morning or night a more romantic setting?

Midnight is where it’s at. At least, that’s when he’s always in the mood, every night, without fail. “Romantic” is one word for it.

N   :   NAUGHTY.   what is your muse like in bed?

He’s got so much energy, man. Where does he get it? Where does he keep it all? Where does it go as soon as the deed’s done, and he’s passing out in minutes? Jackson’s a very physical lover; he likes it rough, just because he loves grabbing his partner and keeping his hands on them for as long as possible. Nails on his skin? Hell yes. Doing it in weird places  ---  somewhere they could be discovered easily? Sign him up. He’s got a thing for flexible partners, plus partners who use teeth. Leaves love marks like they’re going out of fashion. If he hasn’t completely worn his partner out by the end, leaving them too exhausted and satisfied to sit upright, something went wrong.

O   :   ODE.   does your muse have a way with words?

Definitely not. He’s plainspoken, quite blunt, and couldn’t string together a poem if you paid him  ---  but he always says what he means. When something’s on his mind, Jackson’s the type to just blurt it out.

P   :   PARTNER.   what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

Jackson wants someone entertaining, someone not afraid to have fun; a down-to-earth person who’s not afraid of a challenge. Super competitive people are a kink for him. Someone with a tough side. They have to have a good sense of humor, and understand his, even if his humor is...  offbeat at times. They must be a dog person. He’s got a thing for dark hair, and would love a partner who knows how to move it on the dance floor.

Q   :   QUESTION.   would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

Like...  he’ll do it. Eventually, he’ll do it. He’s in no rush to do it, but if his partner wants to, he’ll give them the best damn proposal they’ve ever seen. So long as he doesn’t trip and drop the ring.

R   :   ROMANCE.   is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

He doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body, unfortunately. Some romantic veins, a few romance-inclined nerves, but other than that, he’s not wired that way. Candles and roses go way over his head; Jackson shows his love in different, more physical ways. But if his partner wants romance, and they make that known to him, he’ll put every ounce of effort into it   ---   Jackson’s ride-or-die til the end, and he won’t stop until he’s made his partner happy.

S   :   SWEETHEART.   did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

From the age of four to the age of fourteen, Jackson was very set in his “girls are gross” phase. He had no desire for a childhood romance whatsoever, even if he’s sure one of his sisters’ friends was a little dewy-eyed for him.

T   :   TRUE LOVE.   does your muse believe in true love?

It’s genuinely not something he’s ever given much thought to. He wouldn’t even consider it ‘til he found someone who might be the genuine article  ---  someone he could conceivably spend the rest of his life with. Then...  yeah, true love might be real after all, if it’s real enough for him.

U   :   UNREQUITED.   has your muse had their heart broken?

Nah. Never let himself get that far. Jackson is scarily durable, and bounces back from emotional/physical injuries like a ping-pong ball. It would take something absolutely devastating to break him.

V   :   VALENTINE.   how does your muse feel about valentine’s day?

He’s never given it much thought before, just been sort of annoyed at how his sisters fuss over who gave them flowers at school, and who’s going out with who. A Valentine’s Day novice. If his partner wanted to do something romantic, he’d be completely at a loss, but try his damn best.

W  :   WEDDING.   would your muse get married? why / why not?

It’s something his Mama really wants, but Jackson’s in no hurry. Life is long, he’s young and healthy, not planning on going anywhere anytime soon...  before he tethers himself to anything, he wants to live. If a partner comes along who’s eager to live with him...  well, they might just be the one. He’d marry, but it’d take a while, and only in a long-term relationship.

X   :   XOXO.   does your muse use / like pet names?

Not often, but sometimes he’ll make up goofy ones, just to get a smile out of his partner. All his younger siblings have nicknames that he uses religiously, though.

Y   :   YOURS.   does your muse get protective easily?

Oh, god yeah. He’ll get feral about it. 200% not afraid to clock a bastard if they threaten someone he cares about. He doesn’t even need a reason, he’ll just fight for funsies.

Z   :   ZZZ.   how many people has your muse slept with?

He didn’t get many opportunities back home, but in the army he’s gone a little wild. Lots of going out with the boys, lots of picking up ladies  ---  paid company of otherwise. There have been a few legendary whoring binges in Easy Co’s history, and Jackson has been on all of them. Probably about...  8-9 partners??  He wracks them up fast.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Twenty-Nine

Table of Content or Part Twenty-Eight

Pairing: Douglas Booth!Nikki Sixx x OC

Word Count: 4.6k

Warning(s): Language, Drug use, Sexual content

A/N: A day late but I hope you enjoy it, it's decently light hearted because the next chapter will be the car accident. Have a good night, you guys, and thank you for the support!

Tag List: @unknownoblivion @sinningsixx @edwardtriggerhandzz @lemmyjelly @haileynicoleseavey17 @cierrasixx19 @oskea93 @mgkobsessed @vamprlestat @sharon6713 @itsametaphorbriansblog @miriampraez @allie-mcginn @rebeccaphillips14 @nicholeh7 @fandomshit6000 @lilmou5ie @tamedhearts @divaanya @kingbouji3 @evrsncnewyork @6ixx6ixx @ratedrkohardychick91 @floregrohlssard @oldschoolimagineblog @thanks2pete @abaldboi @swoopygorl @justjodeye @liith-ium @caos18blog @ytwahsog @shamlessobsessions @scarecrowmax @toadspleen @random-internet-user-4471 @solohqrry @loveofmyloif @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @xpoisonousrosesx @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @triplehaitches @emmaelizabeth2014

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

-------------------------------------------------------

"You're fucking overreacting, Vivian!" Nikki snaps at me as we stomp to the car and I stop to turn at him.

"I'm overreacting? To what, exactly, Nikki? You giving out intimate pictures of your wife—which perverts our marriage, by the way—or you entertaining the disrespectful groupie?! Because you managed to spit in my face twice in ten minutes!"

"I perverted our marriage? It was a fucking picture, not a fucking train that we ran on you, Vivian! Get over yourself!"

"You get over yourself and fucking admit you're wrong and you know it!"

"I fucked up when I was fucked up! That doesn't count!"

"No, it does, because you know there's a chance you can do something wrong every time you get shit faced but you ignore it and do it anyway so using that as an excuse is completely invalid and simply just you refusing to take the blame, as always!" I throw my hands up and start towards the car again.

"You are such a spoiled little brat!" He argues, snatching at my wrist, making me spin around to face him. "You're so use to people kissing your fucking feet for your forgiveness that you act like the sky's fucking falling when someone won't do whatever the fuck you want!"

"Oh, really?!"

"Yes, really, and part of that's my fault because I've gone out of my way to keep you happy at times and it still is never enough! You're always gonna find something to be pissed at me about!"

"Do you hear yourself talking, Nikki?! When is the last time you have done anything for me—that I've actually asked for?! I didn't want my own fucking expensive car. So don't throw that in my face like I should be perfectly fine with what you do and how you choose to humliate me just because I'm lucky enough to be married to hot-shot rockstar Nikki Sixx, and I could care less about the money because I'd rather have a relatively sober husband over a fucking corvette any day!"

"So all of this comes back to heroin?!" He raises his brows. "Your prudeness and insecurity is my fault because I shoot up sometimes?! They see naked girls all the fucking time, Vivian!" He points in the direction of the Rainbow. "Don't get pissy over this just because you think your pussy is so fucking special that nobody but me can see it because I promise you, I've had better!"

I can tell he regrets saying it the second it leaves his mouth, but it's a low blow that shatters my pride.

I just step past him, letting out a tired breath, heading back to the Rainbow.

"Where are you going?" He asks me.

I just ignore him.

I stayed with Vince and Sharise that night, and the night after that, and the night after that...okay...I stayed at Vince's for three weeks, and it drove Nikki up the wall because Vince was becoming his least favorite but he stilled liked him enough to give him a picture of me masturbating so...

Three weeks in which Nikki was apparantly going out of his mind on heroin to hide the fact I had temporarily left him.

I just wanted a sincere apology where he admitted his heroin use was beginning to affect him more and more and was creating strife in our marriage.

But I never got that kind of apology until 1988.

"Fuck!" Sharise lets out when a loud pop sounds through the kitchen while she's cooking bacon.

Her blonde hair is in a messy knot on her head and she's not wearing anything but one of Vince's t-shirts and a pair of panties.

"I offered to help you." I remind her, cracking another egg.

Another pop has her jumping away from the stove and crossing her arms, looking at me as if begging to switch places.

"Here." I move aside and she sighs with relief as I head to the bacon that's beginning to pop ridiculously fast, and smoke up.

There's a ring at the doorbell.

"I'll get it." Sharise tells me, running her hands under the stream of the sink to get the raw egg off before another ring ensues then another, and another. "Jeez, someone's impatient." She mumbles, heading out the kitchen and down the stairs to the door.

I'm in the process of flipping the bacon over when I hear Sharise call, "Viv, it's for you."

I move the pan off the burner and head to the door, seeing Nikki tower over Sharise, sunglasses protecting his eyes from hangover induced light sensetivity.

I resist the urge to tackle him because of how much I've missed him.

Sharise leaves us to it to go finish cooking and I cross my arms and look up at Nikki, waiting for him to say something.

"Are you coming back home or should I start selling your shit?" He asks me smartly and I raise a brow.

"Are you sorry for being a complete dick?"

"Wasn't really being a complete dick, only a partial dick. You haven't seen me hit peek dickness, yet." He replies and I go to slam the door in his face but he stops me, keeping it open with his hand and I let out a deep sigh.

"Seriously, either apologize and mean it or piss off." I snap at him and he raises a brow, his jaw, that's lightly padded with alcohol bloat, rolls and he impatiently taps his booted foot.

"I'm trying to apologize but you won't come home." He argues.

"Okay, normally I'd consider you screwing me into next week, an apology. This time it's not." I state.

"It's not sex." He assures me.

"Then what is it?" I ask and he smirks.

"Get your shit together and come find out." He suggests and I think about it for a moment.

"I swear if we get home and you pull your prick out like it's God's gift to me, you and your right hand will be very well acquainted until further notice." I promise and he scoffs.

"We already are."

I get my things together and tell Sharise I'll be right back to finish breakfast, and when Nikki and I head back to the apartment, I notice we're going the wrong way.

"I think you need to turn around." I tell him, glancing around at our surroundings.

"What?" He replies.

"We're going the wrong way. We need to turn around, Babe." I repeat what I said and he brushes me off.

"Just enjoy the fucking ride, Viv. We'll get home when we get home." He shrugs with a smile.

I just decide he's lost some more of his mind and go along with it.

When we approach Valley Vista Boulavard which is near by Sherman Oaks, I get aggravated.

"Nikki. You wanted to go home. I left Sharise to go home. Let's freaking go home." I tell him harshly, picking at my nails.

"That's what we're doing." He explains casually and I look at him, confused.

"What?"

The Corvette pulls to the gated driveway of a mansion we've passed by once before, and Nikki rolls the window down and punches in a code before the gate opens and we pull into the driveway.

"K. We're home." He pipes, uncranking the car and getting out.

14432 Valley Vista Boulevard in Van Nuys was a mansion we had passed by one time. And in that one time we passed by, I made a comment about how beautiful it was.

Nikki took that, and ran with it.

I look at Nikki, my mouth parted in shock as he nervously awaits my reaction.

"Well...?" He asks cautiously.

I can't speak.

Tears fill my eyes, all his wrong doings are thrown out the window because he paid attention and remembered a single comment I made in passing, nearly a year ago.

"I..." I exhale, taking another deep breath. "...T-This is our's? You...you bought us a house?"

"I bought you a house." He corrects me. "Before you squirt in our driveway, just wait until you see the inside."

He tugs me behind him, unlocking the front door, and I let out another breath.

It's stunning.

Going through the foyer, kitchen, living room, dining room, upstairs, and the three bedrooms, my mind runs wild with possibilities.

Friends over for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter—Nikki will obviously give me a hard time with the latter one...

Our kids running through and ransacking the place while I try to cook dinner and Nikki tries to write new music.

Nikki's going on and on about contacting an interior decorator as soon as possible, pointing out what bits and pieces he wants to add and where.

I quit listening halfway through and just stare at him with this happy smile on my face.

I was so, so, so naive. I was acting like Tansy. Every screw up was suddenly erased all because of a good deed.

I remember Vince would go city to city when Mötley went on tour and tell a stripper from every city from the local club he was head over heels in love with them and wanted to marry them.

These girls would quit their jobs, leave their homes, and pack their bags, and show up somewhere down the line of shows in different cities and try to see Vince. Fred Saunders would tell Vince their name, and Vince would claim he'd never met them.

And he'd laugh over the fact that they were that desperate to drop everything for him.

They weren't desperate. They just had hope.

People think I stayed with Nikki after everything he did because I was that desperate.

I stayed with him because I had hope that no matter how bad it got, if I just held on a little longer, it would eventually get better.

If you give a woman a shred of hope to have something they really want, the only way they'll let go of it, is if you damn near kill them.

Nikki getting me that house was my shred of hope I had that we were going to be okay.

Knowing what I know now about what that house would become for Nikki, I would've stayed in that shitty apartment with Robbin Crosby any day.

"What is it?" Nikki finally asks me, noticing me staring at him.

I just bite my lip and pull him closer to me by his studded belt and he takes the hint and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me against him.

Our lips brush together teasingly before my teeth tug at his lip.

Tongues meet each other as he takes a couple steps back, and I shove him down to the couch, the both of us wearing eager smiles as his hands pull me down to straddle him.

I push his jacket off his shoulders and he tugs my t-shirt over my head, my red hair spilling over my bare chest.

His shirt is the next to go, the warmth of his skin radiating through me when he slides his arms against my back, pulling my chest flush against him while his fingers tangle in my hair and pull my head back so his tounge and teeth can mark up my neck.

I let out a quiet moan, looking up to see myself in a high ceiling that's one huge mirror consisting of smaller mirror tiles.

"Nikki..." I pat his bicep and he stops his attention to me and looks up, too.

"There's one in every room." He explains lowly, his lips brushing against my jaw and I raise a brow at the idea of utilizing every single mirrored-ceiling room in this house.

Good thing I'm decently confident in my skin because I'm going to be seeing a lot of myself, in different positions, at different angles.

My lips meet his again, my fingers catching in his tangled hair as I start grinding against the obvious tent in his pants.

He lets out a small groan, guiding my hips' movement as I dry hump him.

"Don't screw around and wet your pants before we even start." I advise in a mean little mock, my hand rubbing over the bulged leather before pulling slowly at the laces of his pants.

His hand grabs at mine, stopping me from going into his pants as his eyes narrow.

"That's not your's." He tells me, gauging my reaction.

I don't need him to get off. I'd prefer he be part of the process, though.

I just get off of him and shimy out of my pajama shorts.

Completely naked, now, I sit directly in front of him on the couch opposite of him and spread my legs, one at a time, seeing his expression change as if he's looking at the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

I smirk, my hands groping at my breasts, pinching at my nipples for a second, sending electric sparks straight to my clit.

I'm already soaked, but I feel another rush leave me as I focus on Nikki's stare, my fingers falling between my legs, rubbing at the nerves that shoot an intense feeling of a carnal need that can only be satisfied by one thing throughout my body.

I enter one finger into myself, and then another, my mouth opening when I curl them to hit that spot that has my bacl arching and my eyes rolling back while "Nikki" slips past my lips in a high pitched moan.

My hands are yanked away from me in a few seconds, my fingers being replaced by two thicker, longer didgets that go into me at a feverish pace, causing me to lurch forward.

"Oh, fuck, Nikki!" I cry out, the sound of him fingering me ringing through the room as his other hand keeps me sealed to the couch by wrapping around my throat just enough to keep me still.

"So fuckin' pretty." He tells me with a smirk, looking over my body and my face, fucking the life out of me with just two fingers.

My toes are curling, that spot within me continuing to be stimulated with sheer force.

"Play with it." He orders me and I listen, my fingers going to my aching clit, a sharp breath filling my lungs at the feeling. "God, you're such a bad little bitch when you want to be." He says through gritted teeth and I open my mouth to reply but I can't.

My orgasm creeps up on me out of nowhere and I drench his fingers as my legs spasm and my eyes roll back, a slew of curses tumbling from my mouth in the process.

I think that's the fastest I've ever came.

Nikki grins at me, getting his prick freed.

I lick my lips at the sight of precum dripping out of him and I'm on my knees before he even tells me to get there.

I push my hair back over my shoulders, wrapping my hand around the base of him and giving a few strokes, the liquid beading from his tip allowing him to be slickened up.

He breathes out, looking down at me through thick black hair, and I open my mouth and stick my tongue out to run it in a zig-zag motion up the underside of his length, teasingly.

I savor the taste of him when my tongue circles his tip before I start moving my mouth up and down his shaft.

"God, fuck, Viv..." He moans out, grasping my hair to thrust in to my mouth.

I take everything he gives, slober running out of my mouth and tears coming to my eyes when he pushes himself down my throat.

"Such a good girl." He praises me and my nails bite into his thighs as he lets me go.

I gasp for air, working him with my hand while I catch my breath.

When he holds himself out for me to start licking and sucking again, I open my mouth, but he moves away, grinning when I follow his movements to try to get him back in my mouth.

"You really are like a groupie slut, just for me." He chuckles out and I stand up and get on my tip toes, my lips brushing against his ear.

"Then fuck me like one."

He gets this mischevious smile on his face before kissing me heatedly.

He somehow leads me into the kitchen without breaking contact, spinning me around and bending me over the counter.

I gasp at the cold marble against my nipples but my mind is taken off of it when Nikki's hand comes down and leaves a bright red handprint on my ass.

Warm liquid drips down my legs and I arch my back and spread my legs to better accomadate him, looking over my shoulder at him jacking off a couple times.

He rubs his tip across my clit and my entrance before sliding in to the hilt in one rough stroke.

I'm not prepared, his girth stretching me deliciously, and he doesn't give me time to adjust before starting a long, rough, fast pace that has me clawing at the counter top for some stability as the sound of our skin hitting together fills the room.

"Hungry fucking cunt." He comments, his hands holding my hips in a vice grip.

"It feels so good, Nikki!" I gasp out, my eyes squeezed closed as more tears come to my eyes.

"It's all mine, isn't?" He asks me, his hand reaching down to rub feverishly at my clit while he drills into me and I borderline scream, every bone in my body shaking as I get ready to come apart again. "This pussy's all fucking mine."

"Yes!" I agree, tears rolling down my face as he relentlessly beats into me.

I'm going to be too sore to walk tomorrow. "Fuck, it's all fuckin' your's!" I sob as a fucking dam breaks between my legs and I'm releasing again, leaving a fucking puddle of cum in the kitchen floor.

Nikki gets off on this, and grunts as he spills himself into my abused sex.

We spent the rest of the night and early morning hours christening every room in the house, including the closets and garage.

The both of us collapse in the masterbedroom's closet floor, covered in sweat and panting.

Our mission to have sex in every room in the house is complete, the both of us are exhausted, and I can't feel my legs.

I turn over to look at him, my cheek against his chest as his arm snakes around my back while he tucks his other arm behind his head.

We've had small breaks in between each round and even took a power nap, and Nikki had a couple lines to keep him awake, before our last hurrah of the night in the closet.

"What time is it?" I ask him softly, sitting up and yawning.

"It was like, 3:45 thirty minutes ago." He mumbles, tiredly and I rub my eyes.

"I'm about to get in the bed." I tell him, going to stand up.

My legs give out on the way up and I fall back down, Nikki and I both laugh.

"No, I'm not." I whine out, and he sits up.

"C'mon, cripple." He stands, reaching down to pick me up and I wrap my arm around his shoulder, wincing a little when my thighs shift closely together, spurring on coming soreness to move through my legs.

I've definitely built muscle tonight.

Nikki puts me on the bed, helping me pull the comforter back, and tuck myself in before mumbling about having to get something out of his car and needing to piss.

He went and shot up, and then passed out on the couch.

I wake up, completely confused by my suroundings until I remember Nikki and I are the owners of a house, now.

Then another thought peers into my mind: how did he afford this?

I've been stressing out over telling him we have to pay a $350.00 ticket—that I need to go to the court house and explain I lost it and then pay it—because of a little financial instability, and he goes and buys an entire mansion.

I just let out a breath, deciding to ask about it later.

I reak of sex and I just want a shower—no, a bubble bath to soak my sore body in.

But first, I need some water.

I don't bother with clothes, stepping to kitchen, only to be met with Tommy, Robbin, Tansy, Sparkie, Sharise, Razzle and Andy McCoy.

A startled, short scream echoes through the house because I wasn't expecting anyone but Nikki to be here.

"Jesus, Viv!" Tommy rubs at his ear, wincing, not noticing I'm naked until I cover my chest. "Oh, uhh..." He stutters, not looking at me as he shrugs his jacket off.

"Okay, yeah, the pictures just don't do any justice." Robbin lets out with a smug smirk even though he's got his eyes on the ceiling, although it doesn't do any good because it's plastered in mirror tiling.

"What the hell are you doing here and where's Nikki?" I snap at them, once I cover up with Tommy's jacket.

"He and Vince are grabbing some things from the apartment that you two need here, and then they're making a booze and food run." Robbin explains.

"For what?"

"House warming party." Sharise explains.

"He didn't mention it to you?" Tansy asks and I scoff.

"He doesn't mention a lot to me." I grumble to myself, exhaling. "Whatever, I'm getting a shower. Don't break anything or I will mount your dicks to the wall." I promise to the guys, walking to our bathroom.

Once I'm out of the shower, and wrapped in a towel, Nikki's stepping in to the bathroom.

"Babe, I totally forgot to tell you." He explains, reffering to the party and I roll my eyes.

"Not a stranger to miscommunication in our relationship." I reply with a shrug, standing at the sink, looking at myself in the mirror.

"Yeah, but still." He counters, meeting my eyes in the steamed up mirror.

He's running his hands over my towel covered hips, pulling my ass into him suggestively, and my breath catches in my throat.

"Baby, no." I chuckle, turning to look at him, needing at least two days to even think about having anything inside of me.

"Viv, c'mon, I'll be gentle." He grins, raising his brows for a split second.

"Gentle isn't anywhere in your vocabulary, Nikki."

"I can be very gentle." He argues, and I give him a pointed look.

His lips meet mine, his hands picking up at the backs of my thighs, sitting me on the bathroom counter.

I'm uncovered as his hands brush my towel down, his lips pressing a trail down my neck, over my collar bone, to each hickey covered breast, to the bite mark shaped bruise over my rib that he gets strangly obsessed with when we're fooling around, down my stomach, the inside of my sore thighs, and I arch my back and gasp out when he presses a kiss between my legs.

He pulls away and stands back up, kissing me hotly, causing me to get flustered.

"See." He says. "I can be gentle."

It's clear he has no intention of finishing what he'a started at this moment, and I remember we have a party starting soon. "Be ready in forty-five minutes, at least."

I nod, and he kisses me one last time before stepping out of the bathroom.

I left that bathroom ready to greet a few extra guest than who was in my kitchen.

But I walked out to a house full of people I'd never met, or knew and just didn't like.

Every girl from every strip club in town was parading around, groupies were like roaches scowering fresh meat in a garbage can, and drug dealers were crowding the place like possums scavenging through a cow carcass.

Me, Tansy, and Sharise stayed close to Vince, Tommy, Robbin or Nikki, being that random dudes were looking at us like lions seeing gazelles for the first time...Sparkie being one of them when Tansy wasn't looking. I guess he liked what he saw when he caught a glimpse of me naked earlier that night.

Just when I thought Nikki was done with the splurging, he and Robbin informed me of a plan they had for late November, early December.

"Martinique?" I ask the two rockstars. "Why're we going to Martinique?"

"Fucking vacation, Viv. Why else?" Nikki asks, pushing his sunglasses up his nose, taking another sip of Jack.

"Can we afford to take a trip to Martinique?"

Nikki looks at me like I've lost my damn mind.

I learned in that moment to never question our financial situation in front of other men, with that single look.

"Yes. We can. The fuck would you ask that for?" Nikki asks me a little harshly and I shake my head a little.

"Well, we have two brand new sports cars, a brand new mansion—"

"Yeah, baby, that's kinda how bein' a rockstar works." Nikki states and I let out a breath.

"Well, I was ju—"

"Viv, love, c'mere!" Razzle's drunken slur travels from the kitchen to the living room.

"Be right back." I tell Nikki, patting his thigh as I stand up and he swats at my ass before I can walk away.

I turn to look down at him, not amused, and he gives me a toothy grin.

Brushing off his brazen attitude, I step to the kitchen.

Sharise, Tansy, Razzle, Michael, Tommy, and Andy.

"What, Raz?" I ask.

"Have a drink with us!" He pipes.

"I don't drink, Raz." I tell him for the millionth time in the past three weeks that we've hung out.

"I don't give a bloody hell what you drink, just get it, and have a fucking drink with us." He tells me.

I smile a little and open the fridge pulling out a glass bottle of Pepsi.

Tommy's pulling his bottle opener from his pocket but Tansy grabs the bottle from me and opens it with her teeth.

"Tansy!" Sharise and I squeal, my heart racing, and the small "pop" sounds of air leaving the bottle as the cap comes off and Tansy takes it from between her teeth and puts it on the counter, handing me the bottle back.

"What, Nikki taught me how to do it." She explains.

"Nikki can teach you a lot of things, that doesn't mean you do it!" I scold her.

"If you screw your teeth up, you're done with modeling." Sharise adds. "Nobody likes a model with no teeth."

"Gummy chicks do the nastiest shit on your dick, though." Tommy argues passionately and Tansy, Sharise and I slowly look at him, offended and concerned.

I look at Michael who's observing the conversation, trying not to laugh.

"How much longer are you guys in town?"

"Another few weeks." He tells me and I nod.

"Take us with you." Tansy cuts in, side eyeing Tommy over his toothless women comment.

"I can't be the only one here who's gotten a blowjob from a girl with little to no teeth." Tommy states, looking to Sparkie, Razzle, Michael and Andy.

"No, no, no, don't drag them into your sick freak fest." I tell him, motioning to the members of Hanoi Rocks that are present.

"My freak fest? Nikki's told me whats on that tape you mentioned, and you're just as bad as us."

"Because I married one of you. It's called adapting. I'm an adapter."

"There's apparently parts of you that can adapt to a lot." He scoffs and I cut my eyes at him.

"Because she doesn't have to be toothless in order to do nasty shit on Nikki's dick." Tansy tipsily takes up for me and I squeeze my eyes together.

"You know, the more I get to know you the more I really like you, love." I hear Razzle say to me.

"Change of subject." I reply, laughing nervously, looking at Michael and Andy.

"Yeah, you guys, you're gonna scar the foreigners." Mike mimics a high pitched American accent to sound like me the best that he can and it catches all of us off guard, and causes us to combust into laughter.

[apogrcpha-blog]

note to self [ k. wonsik ]

words // 3.0k

pairings // Kim Wonsik x reader

warnings // none

summary // It’s a normal day of Wonsik working in his studio, he goes to take a break but there’s a box. 

Wonsik was a work addict, he had no problem denying that because he very much knew that he was a work addict. Where a lot of other people would take time between albums to relax and to enjoy themselves, Wonsik never really stopped working and he couldn’t really see himself ever stop working. He was someone with an endless stream of ideas and couldn’t just keep those to himself, he needed to execute them, to work on them and to make them something fully. Whether it was writing lyrics for upcoming albums or producing songs for other groups, Wonsik just never stopped working in all honesty and in a way it was hard for him to think about taking a break, he knew that it probably wasn’t the best thing, especially not as he said it out loud, but it was just part of him, to always be buzzing with ideas for songs and keeping them all to himself or keeping them inside of him for a long time seemed a little impossible for him to do.

Everyone in the building was aware of the work addict that Wonsik was, everyone from their staff knew it but generally everyone that was part of the company in whatever way knew it. It was always brought up, the amounts of songs he had produced, the amount of work he did and it was definitely something that Wonsik was very proud of. He poured his heart and soul into those songs and for all the work he did he was getting recognition, that was enough.

Today was not a different day from any other day, Wonsik had gotten to his studio a little late as he had overslept but it wasn’t too much of a worry since all of their songs had already been finished, now it was just him playing around with ideas he had, nothing that needed to be handed in or had any kind of due date, it was just him, experimenting with a different sound he could start using or different methods to get to work and to approach songs.

Time always passed impossibly fast for Wonsik, the day went by too fast and had too little hours for him to do all the work which he had wanted to do but so long as he reminded himself that there was always a tomorrow, he was able to deal with the annoyance of not quite finishing things up or making them the way he wanted to. He knew he had more time so he didn’t care as much. The moment Wonsik took a break was a very specific moment, the moment his eyes wanted to just disappear from the world was that exact moment but there was something which definitely accompanied it, the smell. Wonsik didn’t smell, he had showered this morning, there was nothing in his studio that could smell because he usually didn’t snack much and what he did eat was usually processed, in bags and nothing that had a strong scent so it was something else, and he needed to know what it was.

When he stood up he felt his legs ache, only when he stopped working did he ever really feel how much he ad pushed himself and how badly his body took to it sometimes. It was like adrenaline, he only realized what he missed once it was gone and it usually hit him pretty hard, harder than he thought it would.

Wonsik opened his door, it didn’t, It didn’t open fully as he noticed immediately that it was blocked by something. He glanced outside, frowning, that’s when he saw the box that was stopping him from opening his door. The box was in a plastic bag and he picked it up, the door shut before his eyes again and Wonsik headed straight back to his desk. There was a small note attached to the bag, the handwriting was quick and a bit illegible but Wonsik had definitely seen worse and written worse himself before so it wasn’t the absolute worst.

I think this is your favourite, I hope so.

Don’t forget to take breaks

There was still a frown on Wonsik’s face as he opened up the bag and boxes, it was his favourite food. Without thinking much he started eating, he hadn’t realized that he had really been hungry but now his body made it very clear that it had wanted food in the past hours and he wasn’t going to deny it any longer. Only when he had taken a few bites did Wonsik start to think why someone had just given him his favourite food, It was still warm even.

It wasn’t from someone from his band, he assumed. They wouldn’t have left it at the door, they’d have just barged on inside and announce themselves, even Taekwoon wouldn’t just leave it at the door wordlessly when he knew that Wonsik was sitting inside and it probably wasn’t the most important minute of his life where he really couldn’t interrupt.

It was probably someone he didn’t know or they’d leave their name at least, most would really just come on inside. There was still the possibility that this was all a misunderstanding, whoever put this there could’ve had the wrong door and all of this ended up being a very happy accident for Wonsik. He wasn’t sure what to make of it but after eating and stretching his legs out a little

There wasn’t much he could do and he had gotten quite absorbed into his work that he wasn’t even too interested in doing anything, for now he considered it a one time thing, a one time thing that had been amazing for Wonsik. The workday passed quickly and by the end half of the company was already deserted as Wonsik headed back to their dorm, even though he had gotten quite a lot done and had been focused on his work the entire day, the question about who had never left his mind completely.

-8-

It was two days later when Wonsik ran into another box. He needed to go to the bathroom but found his way unexpectedly blocked as he pushed a little harder before his door opened. It was another box, this one was smaller and wasn’t in a bag but there was still a little note attached to it. The handwriting seemed less sloppy now, like the last time had been in a hurry and needed to be done as fast as possible.

Wonsik set the box down on his desk.

This is a lot less healthy but it’s good for energy

Take care, don’t forget to stretch your legs sometimes

As he opened the box he discovered the definition of less healthy. It was nothing on the too extreme side but it wasn’t that great when it came to being healthy, nonetheless he knew all of the snacks and he knew that he really liked how they tasted so it was good enough for him.

After peeing he went back to work, occasionally snacking on the food he had been given. At one point Wonsik went to take a break and decided to think about who this could be, he wasn’t really sure. Even though it was only the second time he assumed that it wasn’t much of a coincidence anymore. It had to be someone who he didn’t know, a secret admirer. Yet, the whole idea of a secret admirer was that the person was a secret, nonetheless Wonsik was very curious and definitely wanted to discover who was behind this, who was sending him food. Even if he didn’t like the person as in love said person, he definitely wanted to thank them for the food because whoever send it, he or she knew very well what Wonsik liked and he loved it.

He decided to keep the note, he still had the last one too somewhere in a drawer, once he found it he put the small stack of two on the corner of his desk, this way it was something that he could look at quite a few times and it might end up being a proper reminder for him to take breaks, he wasn’t sure if it would work but he also knew that whenever someone else told him to take a break, Wonsik was usually far more inclined to do so, there was only one way to find out if notes would work for him.

-8-

A full week had passed and Wonsik had moved the notes from the corner of his desk back to a separate drawer just for them as the stack kept falling over and it was becoming a bit strange to have on his desk. Everyday he got the little notes along with food, and every day it changed. Sometimes it was even multiple times a day though that didn’t happen too often and it would usually be two snacks. Other times it were entire meals that were delivered to the door of his studio and after a few days he had decided to start asking around. No one had the slightest idea, for Wonsik it was quite easy to rule out a lot of people whom he personally knew but he hadn’t really assumed it would be someone he knew very personally, to him it just didn’t seem like something they would do, most people he knew would just be honest with him.

Wonsik’s first clue came when 9 days had passed. He had worked out around when the food would usually be delivered and he made note to open his door then. It had gone somewhat successful, he hadn’t been able to catch the person doing the deed but he did see the back of whoever it was and he felt relatively safe assuming it was a guy. He had an undercut, was probably a little shorter than Wonsik but that might’ve also been the distance. He was wearing a slightly oversized shirt, jeans and sneakers. It wasn’t anything too extraordinary in any way but Wonsik felt a sense of pride that he had been able to at least see this secret admirer and have something of a clue as to who they could be, it was still quite a bit question but just a little less.

So Wonsik continued to think, the clue was a small one but it was something nonetheless. He felt safe to assume it had to be someone in the company, part of the company or just related to it in a way that they were there on a daily basis. It wouldn’t be some random visitor, that was impossible so it had to be someone who worked at the company, otherwise the access to his studio made absolutely no sense and how regular they had become didn’t make much sense either. He asked around a bit but still it seemed as though no one had a single idea as to who it could be which made Wonsik both amused and annoyed, whoever it was must have a very solid act, he must’ve either told no one or just kept it a secret that no one would betray. It was amusing, the search as it was something very different but at the same time it was annoying, all Wonsik wanted to do was show appreciation to whoever kept bringing him food and adorable notes but the person seemed very set on hiding themselves.

Finding someone with an undercut wasn’t necessarily an impossible task considering the situation, say he had half of the company to look at it really wasn’t anything impossible for him to do but at the same time it felt like a very strange thing to do, it was a weird thing to do and there was a better way to approach it, Wonsik knew that and he was going to try that before just constantly looking at people their haircuts.

-8-

It took a month, a total month before Wonsik advanced in any kind of way but it was also the last key he needed before he was able to confront the person about it. The entire month he still got gifts through food, snacks and drinks. All of it must’ve been worth quite a lot as Wonsik started to mentally add up a few things when it came to the all the costs of the food and it definitely started to add up which made Wonsik feel even more guilty and feel even more like he had to at least thank the person for all the food.

The notes had become something entirely on their own, he had decided to keep them in a box instead of sprawled across a drawer and he opened the box at least once a day, validating the break that he was taking because his brain sometimes didn’t want to accept it as something that was necessary for him, when someone else told it, it just seemed more important to him and he was far more likely to follow it, no matter how strange it sounded. They had become a daily part of Wonsik’s life and something that he really enjoyed if he was honest, the reminders were very nice regardless of the situation.

Wonsik had gone on a small break, he was just going to take a small walk outside and enjoy some sunlight along with stretching his legs, there was nothing bad about it and Wonsik did genuinely need more Vitamin D if he was being honest. He had passed a hallway, just on his way to head out and that was when he heard something.

“I can’t believe you’re still doing this.” Wonsik had stopped, just out of sheer curiosity, there was no hurry to go on outside.

“It’s just nice, I guess.”

“I also can’t believe you’re still not broke Y/N.” There was a laugh, it was a deep genuine laugh and Wonsik felt something tingle.

“Food is literally all I spend my money on, I know how to get the best deals.”

Y/N. A name was all he needed, literally. A single name and a bit of an ask around and Wonsik was set. He left the company feeling quite excited, he went and took a walk though it didn’t last as long as he had initially thought, he felt quite anxious to go and get back to the company.

When he got back Wonsik asked the first person he saw, which was a visitor who gave him a dazzled look and so he moved on to the next person with a bit more thought before asking them. Wonsik recognized them as part of staff, someone who worked with audio if he remembered correctly and that person did know them. Y/N was a trainee and producer. It surprised Wonsik but at the same time he knew most of the staff quite well so it had to be someone new in one way or another. Through some gossip and asking around out of curiosity Wonsik discovered that Y/N had originally auditioned as a producer but the company had wanted to push him more in the idol direction as it fit him quite well. In a way Wonsik agreed, he had seen photos and objectively and subjectively speaking, Y/N was handsome and seemed to have a personality that would work well with the hectic schedule of idols.

Now that he knew who it was, it still took Wonsik some time to track Y/N down. Originally he had discovered who exactly he was before the clock had turned twelve yet by now it was closer to eight. He found Y/N in one of the practice rooms, there was an echo of music, a song which Wonsik didn’t recognize and he heard sneakers squeak underneath the wooden floors.

At first Y/N didn’t notice Wonsik as he watched for a few seconds. The song was extremely catchy even if it was only an instrumental and Wonsik was a little surprised as Y/N danced. It was in a way that held the same fluidity as modern dance yet also felt more rigid because of the popping, it was that mix that was very interesting to see.

“Wonsik-sunbaenim, I uh I didn’t see you there.” Y/N said, clearly surprised and in a way, a little awkward.

“You looked really good,” Wonsik said, it was the first thing that came into his head and so he just said it. In a way Wonsik really hadn’t expected to meet him this soon which made it a bit hard, he didn’t really know what to say because he hadn’t planned it. “Just hyung is fine.”

“Thanks hyung,” Y/N said, smiling. “Dancing’s still pretty new to me but I’m trying my hardest.”

“You’re not to bad, you’re pretty good from what I’ve just seen.”

“Anyway, what are you doing here? I don’t want to be rude but it’s pretty late.”

Wonsik smiled, he noticed that Y/N was getting a bit more nervous though he was extremely goof at keeping his cool if Wonsik was honest, he didn’t really slip up and all of it were in small gestures like quickly looking away, things he was only able to catch out of pure coincidence.

“You’re the one who left me food and notes, right?” Y/N blushed just slightly.

“I might have been, yeah.”

“I really wanted to thank you, I mean, I’ve actually been taking more breaks, it genuinely helped not to mention the food was amazing.”

Y/N blushed even more and even harder, Wonsik enjoyed every second of it if he was being honest.

“Well, that’s good. That was the whole purpose after all.”

“Hmm, right so thank you for that but also, I know a great ramen restaurant just a block away and I think there’s enough time left for that today, right?” Wonsik said, there was a small grin on his face though he did feel a little anxious if he was being honest. Y/N seemed very surprised but with no hesitation immediately said. “Of course.”

“Let’s go then.”