#sometimes i feel like my titles are pretentious

[int-writersmind]

Potential Customer

Summary: You work at a record store, bored out of your mind, until Peter Parker walks in and catches your eye. Peter Parker x Reader 

*also I wrote this with the Ps4/5 Peter Parker in mind, but honestly it's generic enough to be any Peter.

Genre: Fluff; Flirting

Word Count: 2k+

When you decided to take a job at So-So Records, you thought it would be like that movie Empire Records where every day would be an exciting romp, well hopefully not a potential job-losing-filled-romp. Unfortunately for you it was much more boring.

Your days were mostly filled with dealing with tourists who were kind-hearted but utterly clueless or pretentious audiophiles who would give you their opinions without even asking you. However, for all your big talk you weren’t that knowledgeable when it came to music, you just liked what your liked and were opened to suggestions (from unpretentious, kind customers of course.)

It was a weekday, you couldn’t remember which, since they all seem to blend together when working back-to-back shifts. You were alone, the shop had a few customers idling around. 

You were at the front counter, elbow resting on the check-out counter, head resting on one hand, the other lazily flipping through a catalog. When the front bell rings, your eyes barely flicker upwards. It isn’t until that potential customer who walked through the front door is standing right in front of you do you finally look up.

“Um, hello?” says the Potential Customer.

“Welcome to So-So Records,” you decide to stand up straight and give your full attention to this Potential Customer. Clueless Tourist or Pretentious Audiophile? “Can I help you with anything?”

“Uh, yeah, um,” The Potential Customer, a mid-twenties guy with chocolate brown hair and amber eyes that complemented, reached into his satchel and pulled out a notebook, flipping through the pages. “I’m actually looking for this album? I’ve been to a few other places and had no luck, they all say So-So would be my best chance.”

The Potential Customer, with his slouchy shoulders and tendency to fidget quite often, placed a hand on the back of his neck, rubbing up and down. Your eyes dart from the hand on the back of his neck to the hand that gives you the notebook. Your gaze lingers a little too long on his long, slender fingers. Strange, you know, but sometimes the most attractive parts of a human were really strange. 

You refocus, eyes skimming the paper, on it was a title and artist, your brain flickers with the passing glance of the cover. “Uh, yeah, I…think we have this, follow me.”

You move from behind the desk, taking the notebook in hand, glancing at the words once more. You lead– 

“I’m Peter by the way, I know you didn’t ask, but still…” You glance back, gesturing to your name tag, as you lead Peter down the aisles of various genres of music. “I actually never been to a record store before, didn’t even know they still existed.”

“I was like that too for a while,” You stop at a section where the older music was located, placing the notebook on one section of records. “Gotta thank the hipsters for making it popular again, even though they are some of the most annoying customers.”

“The only memory of records I have is when my Aunt and Uncle used to play some every so often on the weekends.”

You start to flip through the albums, scanning for the right one, “Do they still find time to play some?” 

Peter sighs and leans against a row of records, looking elsewhere, “No, no, my Uncle, actually…passed some time ago...”

You stop for a moment, fingers pausing, you look in his direction. As if he could feel your eyes on him, he looks up at you. His face, neutral with maybe a hint of sadness. Like he was used to saying that a loved one who must have been important in his life was gone, but also still hurt when thinking about him. 

“Apologies.” You say, not completely happy with the response. How many times had he heard that?

“Don’t be,” Peter crosses his arms, smirks a boyish grin that makes him even more appealing. “It made me think of a nice memory that I forgot about, more memories about Uncle Ben will never not be nice.”

You smile as you return back to searching for the record, “Oh, look I found it! That’s surprising.”

Peter moves closer, hovering over your right shoulder to get a better look, You sharply suck in breath, turning your head to look at him. Peter glances at you, and smiles, “That’s great, kind of a shame though.”

“Why?”

“'Cause it means I have to leave now,” You hand him the record and the notebook, to which Peter plucks it from your hand, looking over the front and the back, while moving away from you. You exhale deeply as you follow behind him.

“Who says you have to go? Unless you have somewhere to go?” You finally say.

“I think I can spare some time,” Peter looks down at his pretend watch on his bare wrist, “Are you gonna introduce me to some music that will change my life?”

“Please,” You laugh as the two of you lazily walk down the aisle, “I’m hardly the last person to do so.”

“Don’t you-” 

“Work at a record store? I know, I know, but I like what I like. Sue me if it’s Top 100.”

The two of you stop at the end of the aisle, you standing at one end of a row of records, Peter moving over and doing the same.

“I guess it’s better than getting made fun of for having an old man's taste.”

“Really? You get hate for having a love for the oldies? That’s some bullshit, especially in a place like New York.”

“Well, when you're a nerdy kid with thick glasses and a love of science, it’s not so cool” Peter flicks through the stack, pulling up an album by a band that was huge in the 70s. 

“Hmm, if you like that group,” You flick through some albums on your side, skimming until you land on the second record by a female-led group from around the same time. “How about this?” You model the record, posing with it, flipping it from front to back. “And…it’s on sale.” You move over to the same aisle as Peter, standing close to him like he did to you earlier. 

Peter takes the record from your hand, “I think younger, nerdier me would have loved this.”

“Younger, nerdier, you sounds like he was such a cutie.” You response. 

“Was?”

You shyly smile back, moving away with your hands behind your back. ”

This was grossly unprofessional, what were your intentions with this potential customer? Making a sale or making a move. You push that thought out of your head, if you were making him uncomfortable or pushing it too far, then he wouldn’t be smirking at you like that. That smile that causes a slight flurry of butterflies in your stomach. 

The two of you continue your walk back to the front, the long way of course. Bobbing and weaving through different aisles, many short, some long. Passing through pop–contemporary and classic, and some RnB, ending up at one end of the store, in the rock section. “What were you like in high school?” Peter asks.

“Quiet, mostly,” You lean against the wall and Peter does the same next to you. “Not too popular but I had friends, spent a lot of time with my art and music teachers, focused on doing little stuff like that instead of more fun extracurricular activities.”

“Huh, yeah I get it, I found some time to do some little stuff to distract myself in high school too. Nothing…too exciting.” 

You inch closer to Peter and so does he, to the point where the two of you bump shoulders. “Oh sorry…”

“Don’t be,” Peter says.

You open your mouth, but nothing comes out. The two of you just stare at one another, the hum of whatever record you put on earlier lightly plays in the air. The dry smell of the older, original pressings of albums of the past, filling up the room. 

You dart your eyes downward, quickly, towards his lips, before looking away. God, now this was unprofessional. “Shit, sorry.” You move off the wall, but Peter’s hand on your wrist causes you to turn. His touch wasn’t aggressive, or rough, but gentle and light. Like a feather was tickling the underside of your hand instead of his long, slender fingers. 

Ding-Ding!

Both of your heads turn towards the door, a middle aged couple walk in, wonder in their eyes, cameras slung over their head. Clueless Tourists. You and Peter look at one another, before resigning to the situation and finally making it to the front. You, behind the counter, Peter in front, the two records under his arm.

“Hello, welcome to So-So Records, I’ll be here if you need me.” You say to the newest potential customers, as they give you that polite nod, and split off into the rest of the store. Peter places the records on the table, when all of sudden his phone goes off, he opens it and stares intently at the screen. “Something wrong?”

“No, ah yes, no,” Peter says, his head whipping from his phone to you multiple times. “I-God, I hate to do this but I can’ take these right now–”

“You can always come back.” You take the records from the counter, holding them in your hand.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I close tonight, you can come back later and get them.” You place the records behind you, before looking back nervously. “I mean only if you want, obviously, duh.”

“Duh.” Peter dryly chuckles, glancing once more at his phone. “I really have to leave, but I’ll be back, I promise. It’s a date. I mean, no, not a date, but–”

“I gotcha.” You wink and smile at Peter as he nervously backs up, sneaking in a last look before leaving through the door, with a ding-ding.

God, you can not believe what just happened! Are you some teenage girl whose knees go weak when a semi-attractive guy shoots you a smile? Who’s touch makes your face heat up, even if it’s just shoulders touching, or gentle, kind, fingertips on your wrist?

For the rest of your shift, you did more of the same that you did every day at your job. Helping customers, listening to unsolicited music advice, and a lot of needless flipping through the store’s catalog.

As the day wined down, the sun dipping into the horizon, you made peace with the fact that Peter wasn’t coming back. Whatever, this  is reality not some rom-com where fate will bring the two leads back together at the end.

You also decided to buy your recommendation to Peter as well, you had plenty of copies of it in the store, so if he decides to come back after all, he could get his own copy. 

You pull down the store’s  front gate, squatting down to lock the padlock, pulling it to make sure it was secure, the record under your arm.

“Making away with customers orders I see.”

You turn to face the familiar voice, Peter slightly out of breath, but still as charming as he was this morning. “Potential customer.” You say, standing up, smiling ever just subtly.

“Sorry I’m late,” Peter glances at the closed store, with its darkened lights and gated entrance. “Like really late.”

“Hmm, that’s ok,” You turn to walk down the sidewalk, your head peering over your shoulder, “Walk with me?” 

As you walk down the sidewalk, record held in your arms across your chest, Peter falls in rhythm with you, so close that his hand occasionally grazes your leg. Jokingly you say, “I thought you forgot all about me, wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Oh god no,” Pete dryly chuckles. “The only thing I could think about was you, I-I mean coming back here to pick up the records and uh, and also to see you, I guess.”

“Ah, you guess huh?” 

The two of you wait at a crosswalk, before deciding to jaywalk as there were no cars in sight, you make a turn once you get to the other side, on the block that you lived on.

“I was actually coming to tell you that I no longer need that record actually, the one I came in for. It was for a, uh, a project that quickly evolved to…something else.”

“Ok, I see,” Your head turns to Peter and he does the same, your eyes lock on to one another, his face filled with nerves. “You were gonna come all the way back here to not buy something. That’s a first, I would have preferred ghosting.”

Peter laughs again, shaking his head, “No, no, I was still gonna get the record that you suggested to me. Sounds more up my alley anyway.” You stop in front of your apartment building, with Peter placing his hand on your arm to move out of another couples way. The two of you stand in front of the building's metal gates. “But it seems I have to come back during business hours to do so.”

“Or not.”

Peter raises his eyebrows in confusion, as you reach in your jacket’s pocket for a notebook you always kept. You write down something on the paper, using the pen you stuck in the notebook holder, tearing off the page. You place the paper on top of the record and push it towards him.

“No I can't-”

“I’m not giving it to you.” You say, “I’m lending it to you. Listen to it, listen to it again and then…call me, or text me and let me know how it is.” Peter takes the record and piece of paper from your hands, his fingers brushing yours. “And don’t ghost me, it would be a shame if I never get to see-talk to you again.”

“Yeah…it would be…”

“Goodnight Peter.”

Peter says your name, it makes your heart flutter just for a moment when he does so, ‘“Goodnight.” But the two of you don’t leave, you two just stare at each for a little longer.

Your phone rings and you’re forced to look at it.

“My roommate, she gets antsy if I don’t come home exactly when I say I will.”

“I understand.”

You nod and turn to walk into the building. Before you go through the doors, you glance back to see Peter staring at the piece of paper before looking up at you, that same smirk on his face. 

God, you are so unprofessional.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Read Part 2 -> Hanging on the Telephone!

Oh my goodness this is my first fic on Tumblr! Please be kind and comment if you like, like if you prefer, reblog if you're like that, I won't judge. Always open for suggestions and to ~virtually~ meet others! I'm so new to this and I know I'm currently talking into the void but, whatever...Bye, thanks if you made it this far!!!

masterlist

[veliseraptor]

January Reading Recap

Thousand Autumns: vol. 3 by Meng Xi Shi. This book is - I don't want to say growing on me because it was never not one I was enjoying, but it certainly got interesting in a new way in this volume. The shift in the relationship between Yan Wushi and Shen Qiao feels like an important one, even if it doesn't last, and the glimpses at a background for Yan Wushi not elaborated upon certainly have me intrigued.

I have the whole epub of the fan translation for this one and might end up just reading it through to the end without waiting for the official translation volumes to come out (though I'll probably read those too, because I like reading more than one translation where I can).

Conspirituality: How New Age Conspiracies Became a Health Threat by Derek Beres, Matthrew Remski, and Julian Walker. Sometimes you read a book on a really interesting subject and it just kind of makes you want to read a better book on that subject. Based on a podcast of the same name, this book was...fine? But it remained relatively shallow, and heavy on the examples rather than the analysis. It was more of a survey of instances where health and wellness/conspiracy thinking intersect than it felt like it was taking a deep look at where and why those intersections happen. It was interesting, and I learned some things, certainly, but it didn't quite dig as deep as I wanted to go.

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado. What a fascinating piece of work. I don't have a whole lot of coherent things to say, except that I don't read a lot of memoir and I'm glad I read this one. I think I liked it better than I liked Machado's short story collection - certainly it was doing very interesting things with form and style in a narrative built loosely on the skeleton of a memoir. It's funny, because I could see myself finding the conceit here irritating or pretentious, but for whatever reason I think the vulnerability of the project undercut that aspect for me.

Dead Country by Max Gladstone. Mostly this book reminded me that I really want to reread the Craft Sequence, so I started doing that. Calling this an intro to that world feels weird - it doesn't really feel like an entry-point to me, despite the fact that it's being marketed that way - but perhaps that's me with the benefit of having read the other books but slightly too long ago to clearly remember them. (Hence the reread.)

Based on my vague recollections I remember liking his other books better than this one, but that's me comparing some books I really liked to one that I enjoyed but wasn't blown away by. But I'm still coming back to read the next one in this series, so I can't speak too harshly of it.

Faraway Wanderers by Priest. I really enjoyed this one! I love the way that Priest writes banter/interplay between two characters, and she definitely has a thing for people who are equally fucked up being fucked up together that I appreciate. Another thing to appreciate about this one is how (relatively speaking) tight it is - there's not a whole lot of wandering, despite the title, and the plot keeps moving in a pretty linear direction from start to finish. I love my longass cnovels with multiple arcs, but it was a little refreshing to read one this contained. It's not in my upper echelons of danmei I've read so far, because it doesn't hit my favorite tropes quite as hard, but I'm glad I finally got around to reading it.

Some Desperate Glory by Emily Tesh. Probably wins my favorite book I read last month challenge. The ending got a little deus ex machina for my taste, strictly speaking, but not so much that it ruined my experience - and I genuinely enjoyed the refreshing experience of reading a book that was digging into some messy shit in a way that I found satisfying. I felt like some of the character development could've used more breathing room/space, but maybe I'm just picky about that, and the propulsive pace did keep me reading this one so fast I think I finished it in two days.

This is really petty but I also appreciated the author's willingness to have the protagonist/narrator be not the picture of good progressive politics. It allowed room for the, you know, development, and in the current genre climate I don't take it for granted.

Spin Dictators: The Changing Face of Tyranny in the 21st Century by Sergei Guriev and Daniel Treisman. I don't quite know what I feel about this one. The basic argument Guriev and Treisman are making is that dictators have changed strategies in the 21st century from what they call "dictatorships of fear" to "dictatorships of spin." I think the main critique I came out of it with has to do with the authors drawing too stark a line between their dictatorship "types" and not necessarily acknowledging that a leader can move between them, or use elements of more than one "type" in different places. Like any binary, it obscures fuzziness of categories and potential overlap in favor of trying to make clear distinctions. This is particularly visible in the way that their writing about Putin feels dated just from the initial 2022 publication date.

There were a couple other things that struck me as weird (I suspect the authors might be a bit to the right of me, and there's at least a whiff of classism about their characterization of "the informed" as a class of people); on the whole it felt worth reading but also like a book I want to talk to someone else about to help process my thoughts.

Lords of Uncreation by Adrian Tchaikovsky. I love Tchaikovsky's work, and this conclusion to the Final Architecture series is no exception to that. And that's all, she wrote.

Shigidi and the Brass Head of Obalufon by Wole Talabi. I wanted to like this book more than I did - not that I didn't like it, but there's so much interesting stuff going on that it felt like didn't quite add up to a greater whole. A solid three star read, though, in the sense of "I'm glad I read it, and if someone else mentioned they were reading it I would probably provide my favorable impression, but I'm not going to go out of my way to recommend it to others."

There's definitely sequel bait at the end, though, and I probably will read the sequel if/when it appears. I'm intrigued enough, and the setting/worldbuilding is different enough - to get me that far.

--

I'm currently rereading Three Parts Dead by Max Gladstone (Dead Country made me do it) but have We Are Satellites by Sarah Pinsker proximately on my list for a book club; I'm on a bit of a fiction kick looking at The Mountain in the Sea by Ray Nayler, He Who Drowned the World by Shelley Parker-Chan, The Water Outlaws by S.L. Huang, and Too Like the Lightning by Ada Palmer as possible next-ups as well. I'll get back to my long, long nonfiction to-read list eventually. (in the meantime I've got my long, long, long fiction to-read list.)

[freewifi-png-exe]

in my work with godot i often have to search up youtube videos to find tutorials on difficult parts of the engine, and as a result, i've got 'gamedev' youtube really pushed onto my recommendations and it is such an odd culture

the videos have that algorithm-optimized mr beast styling to them, and many are from verified channels with tens-to-hundreds of thousands of views. the titles and thumbnails almost never fail to mention money or time constraints, and easily half of the videos refer to "success" or "failure" as a central part of the message.

despite the independent atmosphere, it somehow maintains this commercialized culture of "productivity" and other corporate buzzwords, and its hard to look at. there's no art in sight, just get-rich-quick scheme after get-rich-quick scheme.

i don't mean to act like i'm all better than them, obviously i have no idea what it's like to create a game that tons of people want to play, but i look at the thousands of views on these videos and wonder sometimes: how many of those people are kids who really want to make a game and are being presented with this view that its all about the money? I can't blame anyone for wanting people to play their game, obviously, but I think there is a complete wrong approach being taken here. Down this path, the art loses its essence because 'for fun' and 'messing around' becomes 'making money' and 'being successful and productive' and at that point, you might as well just apply for a job at EA.

im saying all this at the huge risk of sounding pretentious, i know, but im just afraid so many impressionable middle schoolers with an addiction to video games (like i had) will feel pressured to turn their for-fun hobby of just playing games into a Productive, Successful use of time by this culture, and I hate that. If just sitting around playing games makes you happy, then do that! If you really want to get into making your own, do that, but have fun with it!

I don't know, sorry to post such a long ramble I hope it was kind coherent and i didn't come off all pretentious or whatever. I just feel like, as someone who makes bad art and has fun doing it, that's what it's all about! Nobody should be doodling on a paper in the hopes that they end up in the louvre, and for the same reason you shouldn't force commercialization on your other doodles (for me its music and Godot projects). If you make from your heart, I truly believe it is a win-win: other people will be far more interested in what you make, and if you "fail", you won't have any of your dreams shattered anyway, on to the next game; the next band; the next project! :D

[dramavixen]

watch this! – there will be ample time

Happy 2024, everyone! 'Tis the season to set goals. One of my New Year's resolutions is to be less of a drama snob and enjoy entertainment for entertainment's sake. The good news for my pretentious tastes is that most New Year's resolutions are doomed to fail.

Regardless of your television preferences, I believe that the media you consume should improve your quality of life. For me, that usually means sitting down and reflecting on how life sucks and letting that realization break my heart. That way, it can be sewn back together upon the next realization that sometimes life doesn't suck. It's a little masochistic of me.

what is there will be ample time?

An urban life drama centered around four friends in their 20s and 30s who, due to shifts in their personal and professional lives, return to their roots in the bustling city of Chengdu.

Focuses on the varying struggles of women in modern society while soothing your soul with the warmth of friendship and family.

I'm convinced that half of the lines are ad-libbed. Some of the stuff that comes out of the actors' mouths is way too natural.

why watch?

for and about the masses

The deeper I'm clamped into this world's trap of being a working-class human being, the more I'm drawn to television that depicts the average person's life. I can only watch so many shows about heirs to billionaires and gods on Earth before I start dissociating.

As you can guess, There Will Be Ample Time is a female-centric drama, but I wouldn't exactly consider it to be a "feminist" one in the traditional sense. Industry standard for feminist dramas tend to lean toward the "woman kicks male trash to the curb to live her glorious single life" trope. Those can be fun, but you can never escape the anger that comes along with seeing all those women being wronged by countless men like they're being passed along on some patriarchal assembly line. We're getting older. It's time to start looking after our blood pressures.

So here we are. Complemented by a relatively laidback Chengdu setting, our four leading ladies' lives aren't free from love life problems, but they have other things to do too:

Zhang Pei, an insurance agent with a smart eye for what work is worth doing. She's maintained a healthy relationship with her overbearing parents by keeping a distance of 1500 kilometers between them and herself for the past 15 years, but an unexpected incident makes her realize that there's no time to visit home like the present.

Gou Dandan, a beauty influencer who strives to make her life perfect both on- and off-camera. Reality hits when she discovers her husband is having an affair.

Dong Jiaxi, a recent graduate whose dream lies in writing and theater. She's just about to jump-start her career with great promise when her mother is diagnosed with cancer.

Wu Yun, a civil servant who moves to Chengdu for work. Though she visited her cousin Dandan in the city as a child, she's the only one in the group who didn't grow up in the region and needs to get accustomed to a new environment.

With the way that everyone speaks and interacts, it feels like you're taking a gander at someone's everyday life. Each character is someone you could meet on the street, a friend of yours, or just you yourself. The overarching normalcy makes you laugh that much harder at their humor and cry that many more tears when they break down.

--

move over, beijing and shanghai. it's chengdu hours

The Chinese title of the show, 故乡，别来无恙, translates to "my old home, hope you've been well." Chengdu's urban landscape has proliferated in recent years, but it remains in the main characters' hearts as a place of cozy memories—it's about the giant pandas, flavorful cuisine, and hordes of people drinking tea in a park and playing mahjong during a work day while some dude marches around asking if you would like to have your ears cleaned.

People in Chengdu have their struggles, but locals seem to take everything in stride. Most of your troubles can be alleviated by walking home where your parents have dinner ready or hanging out with your friends at the neighborhood barbecue joint. Take a break, have some tea. As hard as life can be, you should always take time to live.

(Disclaimer here that I'm definitely not biased for the place just because it's also where my roots are buried. I can testify that whenever this conditioned capitalist slave goes back to visit family, she starts having an anxious reaction to the free time and relaxation she's exposed to.)

The Chengdu dialect the actors use is...it's alright. I'm one to talk, considering I can't even get half a sentence out without stumbling on my American accent. Hey, at least they tried. If I harp on them, then I also have to harp on all the other actors out there who've spent years in the circle and still can't deliver a line with proper pronunciation or emotion.

--

relive your generational trauma in 4k imax surround sound

I don't know the writers' ages, but this work exudes the energy of Millennials finally aging into producing media that addresses generations' worth of mommy issues. You love to see it.

Do you see yourself in this picture? You're in high school. Call it hormones, call it rebelliousness, but you argue with your mom so frequently that it's become as routine and arduous as dragging yourself out of bed in the morning. Most often, one of these disputes ends with you shutting yourself in your room. Half an hour later, your mom bursts in without knocking to give you fruit on a plate. Ten years later, you feel like your frustrations were all so trivial in comparison to what your parents sacrificed for you. But does that make your feelings any less real?

There's something about Chinese families that makes us really good at hurting each other in the name of love and then never apologizing for it. Especially when compared to other family-centric shows, this one does an excellent job at portraying that exact issue. Each character deals with different forms of it, but they all struggle with being honest and respectful toward their family and face breaking points before they learn their lessons.

I saw myself in each of the children and my parents in their mothers and fathers. When you see a TV show reflect your family dynamics so accurately, it's hard not to cry when you see the aftermath of an argument on both sides. At the same time, you can't help but cackle when you witness some of the ridiculous things they fight over. In the end, why take things so far with your own family?

--

trying real hard over here to not spoil too much, but these. two. why am i like this? romance dramas give me romance and i'm disgusted because love is dumb. non-romance dramas give me romance and i'm on the floor searching for more crumbs. it's because i'm a snob, isn't it?

--

It's kind of difficult to summarize what this show does to your emotions. Somehow it manages to be an easy watch while squeezing a fist around your heart for all its worth. Most of all, it just makes you miss home, wherever that may be.

[entername322]

Polls for next series schedule

Yo, yo, yo, like the title said, I have a few series in mind. As you may have notice, I have a thing for yanderes, so most of the series I write will be themed around that. Most, not all. This polls will be used to help me plan the schedule for the future, that means all the series I put down here will all be written, so just pick which one you want to see first.

Minji (New Jeans): Your father has recently been married to a single mother, which means you just got a new siblings, that is Minji. A meek and shy girl who have trouble talking to people. As her new brother you want to help her out. It all started with a little tuttoring session, then slowy she got comfortable with you. The lines of family starts to blur as the two of you start to fall for each other. Less yandere, more of taboo-ish relatonship.

Momo (Twice): Momo had everything she ever wanted in her life, a loving parents, annoying yet lovable sister, a little happy family. Then they all crash and burn, literally, a car crash cause her to lose her life and got sent to an orphanage. While dealing with this trauma she found you, a fellow orphan, your cheerful and careless attitude slowly convince her everything will be okay. She lost her family, but she found you, and goddamn she won't let you be taken away. Not much yandere, more possessive and jealous type.

Eunbi (Izone): Fuck school, you are too cool for it. Spending your life away by skipping school, getting into fights, drinking, smoking, life doesn't seems that bright for you. From all the above, there's one thing you love more, fucking. Which is why you went to a certain site where you can find people and just hook up here and there. You never expected to find your uptight and pretentious principle there. What an opportunity of a life time, you can't just let this go to waste. Corruption and yandere, (Sub Eunbi, Best Eunbi)

Sana (Twice): A popular and widely liked Sana, an outcast loner you, the two colides as a group project forced you two to be together. Sana always like people, and more than anything, she likes to break people heart. But you, oh god, you are different. A divine punishment for all the boys she has broken before, you have her tied around your finger without noticing. Unfortunately, Sana find you to be a hidden gem, that will stays hidden from the world. Heavy stuff, violence, an absolute batshit yandere

Chaewon (Izone, Le Sserafim): Chaewon is your bestfriend, sometimes you wished you are more than that. Seeing her getting into a toxic relationship you can only watch as her heart is being broken again and again. One day you just can't hold it in, you snap, confessing your love and your disdain towards her boyfriend. Then things just fell apart, you were hurt, but accept that sometimes, life is just cruel. As you made peace with your feelings towards her and moved on with your life, Chaewon snapped, she can't take it anymore. She needs someone to ease the pain, she needs you. But you are long gone, well, for now. She will find you, and when she did the peace you've made will be broken. Angst, mental abuse, light yandere. (I know she has a group now but she will alwasy be fuckin Izone first in my heart okay)

WC- Karina & Winter (Aespa): Your travel to Korea was supposed to be a short trip, well around 6 month at most. Just a little trip with your friend while looking out for him as he starts his business here. Things happens and you might have to stay a little longer. Deciding that you won't spend your day babysiting his ass you went to find a job to fill your time. A bodyguard for SM's newest girl group. The thing is, shit hits the fan, both Karina and Winter suddenly had a crush on you. On top of that, they are dating one another. Well, your time will be filled alright. Possesive, not much dark tones here. (This is a Wild Card, I don't want to write another three way couple one after another. So deciding to not risk this by putting it on the poll with a chance of this winning first place, I will write this when I feel like it. I will put this series somewhere in between all the series above)

Anyway, I need to go AFK blyat, got some college assignment to finish up. Vote, and look forward to the series. Till then feel free to send ask, especially pictures okay, i need all the pictures or gifs from all the girls i mentioned above. See ya.

[tyrianludaship]

The Character of the Stanley Parable's Narrator

Alternative Title: Why the Narrator is my baby girl. My boyfriend. The love of my life if you will. My wife even. So beautiful.

Note: This is the Preamble.

Spoiler Warning: (FINISHED)

I think if you’re reading this, you probably know the Stanley Parable in at least a basic regard. As in like you know the gist of the game and you know the Narrator. I would say be careful if you do not want spoilers but talking about the game at all is a spoiler. As well as such, it’s required for me to go into spoiler territory to fully analyze the Narrator, so please keep that in mind while reading. You might see an ending you didn’t play or even knew existed. 

Introduction of the Narrator’s Role and Gaming: (FINISHED)

Before we particularly start on his specific personality, we need to understand the role he plays that make the Stanley Parable the way it is. If his name was not enough of an indicator, he is a narrator and more specifically; an omniscient third-person Narrator. This type of narrator knows and sees all; they know the exact motivations, beliefs, and internal dialogue of the characters in the story. This narrator type fulfills the similar essence of a deity. Narrators in fiction contribute heavily to the story, as they’re a common way for the audience to understand the situation the characters are experiencing. The Stanley Parable subverts this idea by having the audience fulfill the role of the main character, with the Narrator being forced to adapt to the unpredictable wants of the player. 

We see him as that type of narrator if the player follows the exact story the Narrator lays out for them. However a fairly common way people play video games is experiencing the world themselves, without any restrictions or guidelines. So normally, the player doesn’t see him as an omniscient third person narrator; rather an interactable being they can piss off. This lays out a specific difference between modern video games and written literature. Video games are expected to be adaptable to specific playing styles, where written literature is expected to have a focused/contained narrative. If a video game is unadaptable and rigid, it becomes tiring to the player and would require a hefty reward for them to keep playing. A common criticism for most AAA games is how they go under the facade of being open world but directly forcing the player to go in the directions the developers want them to take. If written literature has a confused or unclear narrative, it becomes difficult for the reader to keep their suspension of disbelief. The usual response if the narrative is all over the place and incoherent, is wondering if the writer has ever read a book.

This difference between the two mediums is crucial for the game’ conflict to work effectively as it does. The Narrator represents the expectations of written literature from the reader with everything else representing the expectations of video games from the player. The Narrator is written as rigid and unadaptable and Stanley is designed to be capable of the opposite. This could also explain the aura of poshness surrounding the Narrator, as reading literature had always been associated with the high-class and sometimes pretentiousness; even in the modern era. Additionally, narrators in fiction are expected to be authoritative; having enough knowledge to explain the story to the reader. This could be potentially noted how the Narrator has a voice that can be described as older and mature. This is why unreliable narrators invoke a strong feeling for the reader; as it forces them to be distrustful of authority. At least for a short moment. By contrast, the common expectation for gamers is to understand the story in their terms; without being told by a disembodied voice. And yet… 

The Stanley Parable exists and the game is incredibly popular for being an indie title. Looking up ‘popular indie games’, you get a list where the Stanley Parable is right next to all the other big fellas. 

Giving a slight glance at YouTube, you can see the first result when you look up the game garnering around twenty-three million views. It would be too easy to say “it’s because of Markiplier”,  but he has played the original game before and the most popular video of the original has only 6 million views. There is certainly a more recent, specific niche the Ultra Deluxe version filled, while the original game did not; at least not as efficiently. As such, I will be analyzing the most iconic facets of the Narrator in the Ultra Deluxe version since we see this character in more perspectives. There is something special about the game that is more than simply the additional content. It may be because you get to hear the Narrator’ smooth voice more but that might just be how the Narrator acts as a character. Also noting here, I will be talking about Sad-ist’s Clock 0ut at some point but for me to have this essay be sort of organized; I’m gonna write about it somewhere else.  (Note: I tried to make a Clock 0ut essay but that never happened; sorry)

List of Endings and General Observations / TL;DR for some of the endings (Work In Progress)

The Freedom Ending

“He had won! He had defeated the machine!” - The Narrator

Narrator as a Character: Pure Omniscient Third-Person Narrator

Notes: It’s an interesting contradiction that the only way Stanley gains “freedom”, is when you obey every word and direction the Narrator says. As beautiful as this ending is, it's also deeply ironic.

The Countdown Ending

“After they kept you enslaved all those years, you go and you try to take control of the machine for yourself, is that what you wanted? Control?” - The Narrator

(Kevan Brighting did not need to go hard with the monologue. He did though, and I love it)

Narrator as a Character: Antagonist 

Notes: Ever since I saw this ending + the Jack short film, it’s really fun to imagine a horrific edge to the Narrator. It’s cool as hell. The fact the Narrator’s voice borders on sounding like Brighting’s actual talking voice, actually makes him sound more intimidating. 

The Museum Ending

“When every path you can walk has been created for you long in advance, death becomes meaningless, making life the same. Do you see now? Do you see that Stanley was already dead from the moment he hit start?" - The Female Narrator

Narrator as a Character:

Notes: If I heard more of the Female Narrator, I’d  probably be as attracted to her as I would with the Male Narrator (Bisexual moment).

The Broom Closet Ending

“OH, DID U GET THE BROOM CLOSET ENDING? THEB ROOM CLOSET ENDING WAS MY FAVRITE!1 XD' ... I hope your friends find this concerning.” - The Narrator

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: It’s funny as hell

The Apartment Ending

“This is a very sad story about the death of a man named Stanley.” - The Narrator

Narrator as a Character: Pure Omniscient Third-Person Narrator

Notes:

Not Stanley Ending (or the Real Person Ending)

“Wait a second, did I just see... no, that's not possible. I can't believe it. How had I not noticed it sooner? You're not Stanley. You're a real person.” - The Narrator

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: I like how the ending shows a clear difference between the player and Stanley; and players still feel like Stanley in some of the other endings.

Zending Ending (or the S*icide Ending)

“If we just stay here, right in this moment, with this place... Stanley, I think I feel... happy. I actually feel happy.” - The Narrator 

(God I just want to stay in that place for him and sleep gently with him in my arms. I feel so bad for him. I want him happy and comfortable.)

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: Hold up brb *cries in the shower*

New Content Ending

“If this is new content then I could just read you the entire dictionary, there's 20 hours of new content right there!” - The Narrator

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: I'd kill someone in cold blood to hear him read the entire dictionary

Skip Button Ending

“You constantly have to stop doing anything so the narrator can catch up with his long-winded explanations of what's happening. I wish there was a skip button.” - Cookie9’ bullshit review

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: God they really made my babygirl suffer in silence, desperately begging Stanley to not skip any further; losing his mind as more time slips by

The Sequel Ending

“So forget this Ultra Deluxe nonsense! I say we take it one step even further. Which is why I'm very proud to announce, for the first time ever, The Stanley Parable 2!”- The Narrator

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: I love how this ending was barely an allegory for half-hearted attempts at releases of the once beloved games. How games corporations want franchises so badly, they pump out soulless nostalgia to their audience. Like it’s not subtle at all but I love the honesty.

The Figurines Ending

“It's just - it's those figurines. Those Figleys. I haven't stopped thinking about them since you nabbed every last one.” - The Narrator 

Narrator as a Character: 

Notes: I love how excited this old British man gets when he's talking about the Figley Wiggleys. He's such a babygirl

(07/16/23: Why tf did I write this???)

Little Clarification before I go Balls Deep (The Player =/= Stanley) (FINISHED)

In this essay, I will analyze the Narrator’s personality as well as how he interacts with other characters; but basically just Stanley. However I perceive Stanley and the Player as different entities, so this is here to explain my thought process. So Stanley is purely a fictional character and is in at least two layers of being controlled; by both the Narrator and the Player. The Player is not fictional  and can decide to have Stanley follow or disobey the Narrator. Despite the Player being the main cause of Stanley’s actions, the Narrator reprimands and rewards Stanley as if his actions are of his free will. Example; the Player chooses to put Stanley in the Countdown Ending, where the Narrator believes Stanley did it on his own accord. Aside from the Real Person Ending, the Narrator has no clue that Stanley is controlled by the Player. The Player is different from Stanley but the Narrator is unaware of this. So, I’ll write Stanley and the Player as different people in the context of the Narrator. I hope that makes sense because without knowing the game, you’re probably gonna be very confused. Especially when I talk about the Real Person Ending.

(Additional Note: The section about the difference between The Player and Stanley is how I made my self insert. Nothing too cool; I just thought it was neat.)

[lovely-v]

Maybe it’s bc I’m literally in the process of making a 20 page zine about why I love modern art but I feel like my main issue with people who say “oh but I just don’t get it” about modern/contemporary stuff is like….have you tried? Have you looked at the work’s title? Have you read the label? Have you so much as gone to the artist’s Wikipedia to see what perspectives they might bring to their work?

I swear I don’t mean to sound pretentious at all, you’re allowed to not like stuff or not want to do research about everything. but I do honestly feel like people hating on modern art is an adjacent issue to online media literacy, because a lot of the “modern art memes” I see are just people yearning for the renaissance over and over again. Okay so you don’t want art that speaks to current issues? Even though the super famous pieces are often by white men (because yeah the art world is not immune to marginalization), a HUGE subsect of modern and contemporary art is Black, queer, indigenous, feminist, trans, etc. Does the Mona Lisa really overshadow all of those other voices because it’s more realistic? Do you actually want the artist to just tell you what they mean instead of letting you try to experience it yourself? And like, you do need context sometimes but SO many modern pieces you can just google and get thorough explanations of. And no one is gonna look down on you for that. Like. Do you not get it or have you not tried.

[celestemagnoliathewriter]

Fic Author Self Rec

When you get this, reply with your 5 favourite fics that you've written. Then pass it on to five other writers. Spread some self love.

Thanks for the tag @artemisia-black! Let's gooooo.

1. Moonlit Marriage

I've gotten so much positive feedback on this one. I am humbled by all your kind words, especially with how slow the updates have been. Moonlit Marriage has been a struggle to write at times, but I've enjoyed it immensely, and I'm happy so many of you enjoy it too. This is one of my favorite passages from it so far:

Remus couldn’t have this conversation like this, lying on his side while she looked down on him. He sat up and rubbed the back of his neck, knowing there was little to lose. They were married; any admission of his feelings would earn her disgust or disdain, but she couldn’t leave him. He had trapped her, completely and shamefully, and this would be the coup d’état, the final offense of being tied to a werewolf. She would see him for what he truly was: a lecherous, selfish beast.  

2. All That Remains

This medium-length fic was so much fun to write! I don't usually get to write a character like Regulus. It was tremendously enjoyable to write this shithead and his exceedingly misguided actions. I even made all the chapter titles in French to make it extra pretentious, just like Regulus would want! A favorite passage below:

“Someone will explain why the elf is cradling an infant—immediately.”

Walburga took the letter from Regulus and shoved it into Orion’s hands. He scanned it quickly and scoffed.

“This is absurd. Get rid of it.” With a clap, he summoned Kreacher. At the elf’s appearance, Orion began ordering him to get rid of the child, but Kreacher appeared to be struggling.

“Father! Kreacher!” Regulus shouted. “Enough! There is a way to know if she’s mine—”

“—even if that child were yours, it has no place here,” Orion said, sneering. “You have an illegitimate child and you didn’t have the decency to make it a son, who would be a passable heir.”

For once, Regulus didn’t want to play by the rules. He had a daughter, a pureblood witch, and she was waiting for him.

“I need to see her.”

3. Real, Real Love

This is a shorter fic I wrote for a wedding fest. It was originally going to be for Remadora, but when I started typing, Tedromeda came out. Specifically, Ted Tonks came out, one of the sweetest characters I've ever written. Ted Tonks is a precious cinnamon bun and I will protect him with my life. Here's another snippet I loved:

She wrote her name in an elegant script, using a pen with emerald ink. Her almost childlike joy made his face hurt from smiling.

“They’re so easy to use—”

“—what have I been saying this whole time?” he said, chuckling. He set his rucksack down and pulled out their Charms textbook. “These quills are ridiculous.”

Andromeda stopped writing for a moment and peered at him, her lips slightly parted.

“Your voice got deeper.” Ted felt himself flush. He didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing. She cleared her throat and pulled out her text as well. “Shall we begin with revising the theory of cleaning charms?” she said lightly. “Professor Flitwick said it’s been on the N.E.W.T.s for three years in a row.”

Ted didn’t know why her voice sounded funny or why she was blushing so hard, but he found it enchanting and struggled to keep his gaze away from her.

4. Cariad

Cariad, my big baby. My gigantic, Remadora survive AU that hasn't been updated in months. I miss you. I want to keep writing you. I have more to say. I sometimes wish I stopped around chapter 50 but I want to keep going. I'll finish you when I can. Anyway, here's a passage that I adored writing:

“Dinner!” he blurted at Tonks, startling her. “Let me take you to dinner!”

“What?”

Her nose was pink and puffy. She lifted her hand to tuck limp strands of orange and brown hair away from her blotchy cheeks.

“Dinner,” Remus repeated, formulating an idea. “Once a week…no kids. I want to take you to dinner.”

She stared at him, openmouthed and confused, for a moment.

“Why? Is this – are you trying to get me to take you back?”

“No. I want to start from the beginning,” Remus said, moving toward her. “We never did this right – I never did this right. I want to start over and do it right this time.”

“Remus,” Tonks sighed, shaking her head. “We’ve done this before—”

“We can take our rings off,” he pressed. “We can live apart again and share custody of the children. But please, let me take you out to dinner and do this the right way. Please, Tonks.” Remus took his wedding ring off and handed it to her with a trembling hand.

“Please,” he repeated softly. “Let me do it right this time.”

5. The Nymph of House Black

I love time travel fics. But do you know how HARD it is to find time travel fics with canon couples??? It's always fanon couples! I wanted my darling OTP together, and I wanted time travel, therefore, this happened, and I LOVED writing it. This will always remain one of my all-time favorites. Here's one of my most treasured passages:

“You hate me, Remus. I could see it in your mind.”

“No, Dora, I—”

“—maybe we’ve broken each other’s hearts one too many times,” Dora said softly. “You’ve moved on. I should too, shouldn’t I?”

“Dora, no—”

“—It’s fine,” Dora said, her voice straining, and her mind filled with static. “I’m not going to hurt either of you. I’ll move on. You already have.”

“But—”

“Silencio,” Dora murmured, cutting off Remus’ voice. “It’s too hard to keep doing this, Remus. I’ve hurt you too much. It’s time to let you go.”

Remus’ eyes were welling with tears, and Dora could see him struggling against the Silencing Charm she’d placed on him.

“I’ll give your wand to Fenrir for him to return it to you. I’m sorry our timing never worked,” she whispered. “Just know – everything I did, it was all for you. I’ll always love you, Remus.”

Okay, that's plenty of gushing for now! I'll tag @thecasualauthor18, @midnightstargazer, @merlins-sequined-hotpants, @messrmoonyy and @annabtg

[nevesmose]

So like I mentioned before, here's something I originally wrote way back in 2011 for Deviantart's much smaller and less friendly 40k writing fandom. Current day 40k tumblr really is a chill and welcoming place and it's lovely to share it with you all.

Suffice it to say I would write this very differently now than I did then. And maybe I will sometime. It's alright technically but very stiff, I would say is the right word, and lacking in confidence both in myself as a storyteller and in the story being told. The characters are okay though, I've always enjoyed creating grotesque people in my head and then describing them.

It was hugely influenced by my interests at the time being mercenaries/PMCs and Second Empire France and the French military more generally. It's a lot more French than it needs to be.

Just as one example of how I feel about it now, the beginning is quite flat because I was trying to be like Raymond Chandler without being old enough and/or drunk enough to pull it off. Now I'd lead with the fact that the planet is a dry arid place and keep hammering on that because everyone can relate to being too hot. Things like that.

Oh! Proof that I've always been pretentious about titles, too - this one comes from the first stanza of A.E. Housman's Epitaph On An Army of Mercenaries:

These, in the days when heaven was falling,

The hour when earth's foundations fled,

Followed their mercenary calling

And took their wages and are dead.

But it would be remiss of me not to also give you Hugh MacDiarmid's response from his Another Epitaph On An Army of Mercenaries:

It is a God-damned lie to say that these

Saved, or knew, anything worth a man's pride.

They were professional murderers and they took

Their blood money and impious risks and died.

Aren't mercenaries interesting?

[skeeverboyreviews]

Skeeverboy's Top 5

Roughly, my top 5 albums of all time, not in any order.

Harmlessness - The World Is A Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid To Die (2015)

This album makes me feel indescribable emotions. On the surface, it seems a little pretentious, honestly; a band with a ridiculously long, quirky name, an over-the-top artistic album cover, and long experimental tracks with extensive instrumentals give the impression of a band that thinks very highly of themself.

Despite appearances, I think this album is absolutely incredible. Every part of it is a work of art. The song titles, the album cover (I know I insulted it before, but I do like it a lot), the tracks themselves all work together to create an existential sort of nostalgia, an out-of-this-world feeling. The lyrics make you think about life in a way you haven't thought of before, the instrumentals working with the words to create a very consistent vibe.

This album is an experience, 45 minutes of feeling beyond words. There isn't a weak track on this album, but I do have favorites. You Can't Live There Forever is an incredible opener, and the transition into January 10th, 2014 is just beautiful. I Can Be Afraid of Anything is so emotionally moving. Wendover gives me nostalgia for times I never even experienced.

I think January 10th, 2014 is my favorite track on the album. Based on a true story, it follows Diana the Hunter - a woman who murdered bus drivers with reputations for sexually harassing and assaulting women. I love the use of storytelling within this song, especially with the two different vocalists.

If I could change anything about this album, I wouldn't.

I Hate My Friends - The Front Bottoms (2008)

Raw, unfiltered, immature, and desperate, this album is perfect for teenage angst in the form of shout-singing and power chords. It's edgy, it's messy, it's silly, and I can never stop talking about it for the life of me.

Most of the songs revolve around relationships, about dumb teenage decisions and longing. This album reminds me of high school, conjures the image of smoking weed and laughing or getting upset and ranting about nothing of substance. The songs feel like they were rushed when they were written, and I mean that as a compliment. The guitar parts are bare and are sometimes reused between songs, the melodies rather simple, and the lyrics sometimes clunky, but that's what makes it so incredible. It's like listening to Brian Sella's pure thoughts.

Two of my favorite tracks are ones that haven't been remastered: Push-Ups and Current Events. Both make me want to scream, to shout the lyrics at the top of my lungs, make me wish I thought to write them.

I think my favorite part about this album is how personal it feels. If I close my eyes, I can imagine sitting in someone's room, listening to them play guitar and workshop songs on the spot.

Transatlanticism - Death Cab for Cutie (2003)

I've already written a full 2k word summary and analysis on this album, so I'll try to keep it short. This album is full of longing, of emotion, of wistfulness. It's tear-jerking and heart-aching. If you've ever been in a long-distance relationship, had your partner travel far, had a relationship slowly die, this album will resonate.

This album is tastefully minimalist. Unlike Harmlessness, which admittedly has a similar vibe but uses a wide variety of instruments and effects, Transatlanticism keeps it simpler. Passenger Seat only includes vocals and piano.

I'm cutting myself off here to avoid rambling, but truly, this album means so much to me. It was the first album I bought on CD, in a Half Price Books, and I bring it with me on nearly every drive.

Dookie - Green Day (1994)

A classic, really. How could I not include Green Day on this list, and how could it not be Dookie? So many iconic songs - Welcome to Paradise, She, Longview, When I Come Around, Basket Case - even non-Green Day fans can likely recognize at least half of this album.

Dookie is the blueprint, the definition, of 90s punk rock. Loud, heavy, shout-y, it's just incredible. There's not much I can say about it that hasn't been said before.

My favorite track currently is Sassafras Roots. I love the use of repetition, and the way he says "smoking cigarettes" gets stuck in my mind on the daily. I sing it to my partner in the passenger seat of their car.

Joyce Manor - Joyce Manor (2011)

This number five spot isn't nearly as solidified as the other four, and it took a lot of consideration before landing on Joyce Manor. But something about this album, the heaviness, the lyricism, speaks to me in a very unique way.

Joyce Manor is an extremely short, punchy album, only a little under 19 minutes in length, but it manages to pack so much into every minute. Not a single second is wasted. Every lyric, every chord, every sung note feels important, like a load-bearing beam, each second packed with meaning.

Barry's voice is intoxicating, the way he slurs his words in a way that makes it difficult to make out what he's saying. I've joked before with friends that he sounds a little bit like he just got dental surgery and had to sing while still numb from Novocain, but I truly love it. It's iconic, inseparable from the Joyce Manor brand. The album wouldn't be the same without it.

Joyce Manor has a very unique way of writing their lyrics, and I'm not sure I can name another band that I think writes in a very similar style. I'm not exactly sure how to describe it, the strange turns of phrases they use or the interesting rhymes or the confusing metaphors. It's like I understand, but I don't.

The most iconic track on this album is, without a doubt, Constant Headache. While this song has one of my favorite lyrics of all time ("Your love was foreign to me / It made me think maybe human's not such a bad thing to be"), my personal favorite is Derailed. I love the train set metaphor, and the sound of the song as a whole.

Thank you for listening.

[warmhealerr]

Some fun facts related to the Githmap entries and the characters featured.

-Ta'rath was initially not supposed to show up for the Githmap but I said "fuck it" yesterday and decided I wanted to have fun/it would make sense in my head.

-Ta'rath changes hairstyle drastically as they enter the rebellion among Orpheus' ranks. Their locs are harder to maintain especially with their new lifestyle, but they desperately wanted a drastic change in appearance. As an artist I'm also thriving because I like that they subtly hint at their partial ceremorphosis. They can use their locs like tentacles, though they keep it subtle in public (and exclusively in fights) as to not raise suspicions beyond "Oh your hair reacts weirdly to the gravity here". They eventually go back to mohawks but I'm sure they go back to locs from time to time, they look great in them.

-When they get particularly upset, their disguise flinches and reveals not so Githyanki features, such as in this case their eyes when thinking about Joufos. They have always put up an emotional front no matter what, some illusion of control despite being an extremely anxious mess, but it is now vital for their safety if they do not want to be found to be Illithid, even if "only partially".

-Ra'sha is a cis perisex woman (by human standard), I just wanted a very specific kind of face for her and it seems nobody likes modding angular Gith women.

-If it wasn't obvious enough, Ra'sha is extremely pretentious. She thinks of herself as being an indomitable powerful warrior... Yet she was often assigned to sewer patrol duty in Tu'narath (which is considered outright degrading by Githyanki warriors if you haven't read the Tu'narath supplement) and has no title, no high responsibility role. She isn't weak, but she is far too ambitious while relying on brute force to clear her way through life. Most importantly nobody really wants to recognize her, thankfully she hasn't realized that yet, her ego blinds her for better and for worse.

-Ra'sha is fixated on lightning and thunder damage.

-Ra'sha and Ta'rath are related... Sorta. She is from the previous clutch. She does not remember them, or at least hasn't connected the dots that this Ta'rath she knows now is the same youngling she knew back in the day. Ta'rath, on the other hand, very much remembers Ra'sha and starts sweating bullets whenever she's around. They know the day she realizes they are the same Ta'rath who ran away they will be truly fucked, as they are the only remaining Gith of their clutch, and she will be far too invasive on the matter. Eventually, she would figure out how they got into that Ilmater monastery. (For some more context, long story short Ta'rath is the reason why their Crèche was found and basically annihilated).

-Gaalil is a character I specifically made for the Githmap months back when it was announced. I really wanted to write a Githzerai spy who had integrated into Githyanki society. I initially was gonna make some cosmetic mods for the sake of his sprites' accuracy but I damn gave up. Not that it matters too much, I enjoy the final in game character I ended up going with.

The original concept, if you are curious :

He was initially going to be a warrior who loved navigating Astral Ships, but I ended up making him a Mlar as time went on. He is still very in love with Astral Ships, but he is much less of a fighter (which I think is good. Githyanki society is highly militaristic, but there are other important facets, even if sometimes ridiculed by the people themselves).

-Gaalil has gone through 3 name changes throughout the months. I ended up with a list of something like 68 name possibilities and really struggled picking a favorite. I ended up settling for Gaalil because of Galileo, and it felt Githyanki enough it could be a good coverup name while still having this soft, unique charm to it. He has another name in Githzerai society I've not decided on yet, but what's for sure is he hates using it because he feels it is not him at all.

-As was hinted at, Gaalil's mother was a gith’attala, a cousin hunter. From the moment he was born, he was expected to become just like her someday, if not even more deadly. He was trained his whole life to become a spy to infiltrate and disrupt Githyanki society. The day she died, killed on the job, he felt absolutely nothing. Then he was finally ready. He ended up fulfilling his missions regularly (which was sabotaging fleets, hence the Mlar cover), but he learned to treasure Githyanki lives and would much rather not take any of said lives whatsoever.

-His Githzerai accent and dialect was trained out of him to avoid the risks that come with code switching, but that also means he speaks "funny" to other Githzerai. He often feels treated as though he's an outsider, and he'd be right. The oldest, wisest of Githzerai society usually are the ones kindest to him.

-You now know 3 of my 4 Gith characters. The 4th one I have briefly mentioned something like once on this blog. I adore them dearly, I hope to introduce her soon. I would've made her for the Githmap if only BG3 would allow me to make fat people.

I think that's about it. I welcome any questions as always.

[stopthatfool]

You KNOW I gotta hit you with some of these...

7, but give me Iceman or give me death; 21 and 24; and 38 for the Top Gun asks!! >:)

WOODSY! thank u thank u for the ask! (so excited i'm vibrating out of my body!)

7. Do you have any headcanons about [character or ship]?

Oh boy! Do I! alrighty, here we go!

ice drinks tea! he is a tea drinker! When he gets the chance, he'll have a cup before bed every night! (Black tea, some milk, some honey/sugar!)

Icemav looovveee old country music; like Patsy Cline, some Dolly Parton here and there, Glen Campbell (!!!!!), TAMMY WYNETTE (!!!!) etc. etc.

Mav used to take the mufflers off his motorcycle to make it sound really loud and to annoy the hell out of everyone driving and existing around him! (i hate him.)

Ice can draw! He doesn't practice often (rarely) but he can draw. he knows his way around a pencil.

1990's Bradley/Rooster would have loved Jeff Buckley! I just feel it in my bones.

Ok... i'll stop.. for now..

21. Favourite helmet design?

watch out. gonna be so pretentious art student about this one. i can't help myself i might have to give an opinion on everyone's helmet one day...

FAV HELMET-- phoenix's !! we don't talk about her helmet (and her tbh) enough!! i've seen different versions of it, some without something on the back, others with. But regardless, her helmet is still the best.

The typeface????? the cards on the side?? the spades?? the red leading line going across the whole helmet?? hello people?? this is a visual masterpiece!!! it's recognizable! It's simple, but detailed where it matters! the usage of space and negative space!! phoenix u should've been a graphic designer...

and when phoenix's helmet is compared to THIS!!!???!!

phoenix's looks like the fucking Sistine Chapel or something. yale, is that TIMES NEW ROMAN ON YOUR HELMET????? insane.

24. A line you quote all the time?

Oh oh oh! One I've been quoting the last couple weeks is:

Goose! Ah no!

It doesn't sound like how Mav talks throughout the rest of the movie and I find it so funny. Mav almost sounds like he's from... New York? Or Boston? (i don't actually know. as you know I'm not American so i don't know) but it's so fun to say.

And another one I used say is this line Slider says to Goose:

Goose, you're such a dickhead.

Idk, I say them to my cat mostly. but they replay in my head more often than I actually say them.

38. Which character do you project on the most?

As I've been writing for The Jeep Universe (also thank u for coming up with that! it's so much easier then typing out the whole title!), I've been projecting the most on Maverick!

Me and Maverick are very similar in some ways (sigh, diagnosed with ADHD way too late) and i think that allows me to be more critical with him. And as I continued to explore his personality I realized that we're alike, not in the impulsive, balls to the wall way, but on an emotional regulation and "mental" level (does that even make sense) me and mav are similar. and that's probably part of the reason I can't stand him sometimes.

I'm sorry this got so long! but I was having fun so whatevs. Thank you again for the asks!! this was wonderful!

[tenrousei-kuroi]

I did read Angel Sanctuary! I never finished it, though. I remember that what got me to start was the author’s art style. Her characters are so pretty!

I’m not familiar with A Cruel God Reigns, but by your description, it’s right up my alley (also, with a brief search, I see it has a very traditional style from the 90s/00s mangas that I find very nostalgic). I’ll definitely take a look into it.

As for the Black brothers, I think I discovered the ship around 2017-18, so there was a fairly good amount of work by then, but Blackcest has definitely grown a lot in the past couple of years. I’ve not read many James/Regulus works, mostly because many have a 'cleansed', fanon version of both – which also applies to the Marauders as a whole – and I have very picky views of Regulus’ characterization (my boy canonically had his own fan board of Voldemort 😭 and as far as we know, he never fully – or at all – quit his bigotry, yet in many works, his Slytherin friends and himself diverge completely from this).

But I do think Sirius/Regulus will remain somewhat popular for a long time. The Black family seems to have an appeal within the fandom that I don’t see as much with other families, such as the Lestranges, for example. Also, the idea of two good-looking, rich boys in a complicated family is intriguing (or at least I hope so; if not, you’ll see me signing up to your mailing list). On that note, I'm still hoping for the day Rodolphus/Rabastan gets popular lol

Anyway, thank you for the link, and I'm looking forward fest postings (ngl, I'm pretty confident in my abilities to recognize your writing style in anon fests. Sometimes I read a title and I think "this looks like a title ten would use". Is it a little stalker-ish of me? Maybe 😅).

Yeah Moto Hagio’s a bit more old school, she was most prolific in the seventies and eighties, and her art shows it. I could be misremembering but I believe her work “Sunroom” is typically credited as the first boy/boy manga kiss. And she’s one of the pioneers of the modern boy’s love genre. Real “culture award winning” sort of author.

Jegulus fics are hilarious to me and there’s a reason I call my stuff James/Regulus when I tag it, because that portmanteau has become its own thing. Whenever I read a Jegulus fic in my brain I’m thinking, “you know you can just write Timotheé Chalamet RPF, right? He’s not gonna’ come for you” 😂 And honestly that fanon “style” is bleeding over hard into the Sirius/Regulus section.

No shade, I’m glad people are having fun. Makes it harder for me to find the kinds of fics I like but I’ll survive lol. There’s just a larger selection now. And popular as it all is, I do truly feel people will move on. Because it’s less an attachment to the characters and more to these seriously altered fantasy versions of them, which can be easily grafted onto the next popular thing.

If you had told fifteen year-old me my weird incest and incest-adjacent pairings where two of the three characters aren’t even alive in canon would one day be as common as they are now I’d’ve thought you were high 😂 yet here we are.

I’ve dabbled a bit in Rodolphus/Rabastan but they always end up coming out so similar to my Sirius and Regulus that I don’t like it. I’ve kind of tabled the pairing until I can force myself to be a bit more creative with them. People already put up with all my Sirius/Regulus nonsense being basically the same, I don’t need to be grafting their dynamic onto other pairings 🤣🤣

When I pick prompts for fests I always try to ignore the promoter names until after I’ve chosen, but it doesn’t seem to make much of a difference, roughly 80% end up being yours anyway. Talk about wavelengths.

And let’s blame 2009 LiveJournal for my pretentious and easily-spotted titles, shall we? Specifically a Sirius/Regulus fic from forever ago called “A Thousand Years Good Wine” which basically flipped something in my brain and I haven’t been able to title anything like a normal human since.

That was a stellar fic, by the way. And if anyone ever ever ever finds it back for me I’ll…I don’t know…write them a 100k commission of their choice or engrave their name on my tombstone or something because that fic is LOST beyond belief and it causes me literal pain sometimes lol.

I’m feeling rather inspired today so I might spend my Saturday night plinking away at one of my fics. Odds are it probably won’t be the one that’s due in three weeks but we can always hope TT.TT

[aizenat]

People be like “here’s my brain dead take” and then when I take the time to logically eviserate them they want to cry I’m mean.

I don’t care. Was I wrong? No? Did I make you feel stupid? Yeah? Then do better. Title says pretentious for a reason lol. Thought that was a joke.

I’m so tired of y’all’s braindead takes. Then bitch is in her page reblogging posts like “sometimes I see fandom posts and I’m like who is even arguing that” because you’re mad I made you feel dumb. Oh well lol. Yall say something stupid and it takes off and becomes fandom lore. And when the show doesn’t do it, yall start bitching, not at all engaging with the story actually being told. Like stfu if you don’t want me to be annoyed that I literally had to WALK YOU to the logical conclusion because the writers assumed you’d be smart enough to get there and you really wanted to prove them wrong.

[sytokun]

Introducing my super cool RWBY rewrite that is definitely better than literally anything

Hey guys, this is my RWBY fanfiction universe. All ideas are mine, I just think... I dunno, RWBY kinda sucks so I'm making my own, better version. I'll call it... RWBY: Rescued or some other vaguely pretentious title, idk. Hey, John and Jane RWBYson! Thanks for subscribing to my project! Or anonymously stalking it? It's hard to tell sometimes.

Now I know I already introduced Team RWBY, and everyone loves them, I'm happy! I'm just gonna add a little dude here, no it's fine! He's like a side character, nothing more. Like an ally, Ruby's first friend, he leads the other team, it'll be really cool I promise. His name is Jaune btw, no, NO big deal. Just trust me on this. I'm the superior writer, remember?

...

Um... sorry guys. Over the weekend I just got a really big spark of inspiration, like... the Muses struck me from the heavens above. So I'm sorry, but... I'm going to make a quarter of the first Volume entirely focused on Jaune, the Volume that is crucially formative to the cast and entire series, which will cause a ripple effect so bad that a consistently large number of fans dislike him in my series 10 years later, but also find it hard to imagine the story without him at this point, like a lukewarm relationship you don't know how to feel about.

But it's fine! The show is still called RWBY and I plan to deliver on that, not like those hacks at Rooster Teeth stepping on Monty's vision. That's the rhetoric I'm supposed to use, right? To make you hate me? To make me into an easy strawman to hate and dismiss? GOT IT, just making sure, lol

I'm going to voice act as him too, btw. No big deal, I'm sure this won't affect my treatment of him whatsoever. Oh, but here's Neptune. He's voiced by the other dude writing this, and we're gonna write a love triangle between the characters we voice and Weiss, one of the main leads. That counts as a character arc for her, right? Right, glad you understand. Oh, Neptune? You actually liked him and wanted him around? What are you, fucking sexist? God. Make sure to tell your friends how cool my story is

Next, I'm going to have Pyrrha's entire screentime devoted around Jaune, and even after she dies, only Jaune is allowed to process his emotions regarding her death while Ren, an Asian dude, and Nora, another girl, prop him up. I'm also going to bring her death up every two years like 2-3 times to really milk that man pain. What does Ruby the main character feel about this? Oh don't worry, she'll talk about it with another character I'll add in. I'll even have her say Keep Moving Forward™ to really sell the audience's Ruby's pain and really stoke and stir your anguish. Her anguish. Moving on.

Eh, something feels off, there's not enough conflict... Let's have Cinder run Weiss through with a spear, for funsies ig, because I have this post-it note on my monitor saying Jaune's Semblance and this is the perfect moment. I'm also gonna give Jaune this whole ass emotional outburst, 1-on-1 fight and confrontation with Cinder since she killed Pyrrha and awakened all his angst.

Ruby? Uh... yeah, she can stand there I guess. I need to remind the goddamn audience that YES, I still remember silver eyes exist, gawd. I have to do it every few Volumes or I can sometimes forget the protagonist in my female-led story exists - man what a pain, I bet I'm gonna be pressured into creating an old lady to teach her or some shit in the Volume right after this one. Whatever, I'll have her disappear in 2 years, they'll never know she left. Anyway OOPS Emerald knocked Ruby out, thank god she's out of the way so I can squeeze in a shot of Cinder stepping on Jaune and really rub that pain in. God, Jaune really needed this, so glad I did that

Fuck it, Jaune kills Penny too. I dunno, it just feels right, y'know? Nah... I don't think Ruby or anyone is the right person for this, and I don't think we've really, one hundred percent explored just how deeply Jaune can angst over dead women; women who could have grown into full, complex people with rich arcs and relationships using all the screentime I parasitically extracted from them via sudden, unwarranted death. Penny, like, she really needs to fuckin' die for this. Her death is worth having to retread this same tired fucking emotional arc if it's for my boy, know what I'm sayin'? Good, glad you understand

Alright, it's the Volume finale. Team RWBY and Neo are falling into the next story arc. Great, people really wanted this - an entire Volume just focused on the title characters together. The fans have been on my ass asking for this since Volume fucking Four. It's alright, I GOT THIS. I FUCKING GOT THIS! It's simple! This is perfect. But... I mean, I shouldn't... but I really... SDGDSGDED FUCK IT, fuck you, Jaune falls in with them too

John and Jane RWBYson: "God, this is why I hate rewriters who think they can write a good story with RWBY. They love making white men the focus of their self insert fantasies while shoving female characters into the fridge and off to the side, all while using Monty's name to rile people into brainlessly supporting it. I hope they fucking disappear"

Wait. John. Jane. Did I say my RWBY fanfiction universe?

Oh. Oh god.

[squishmallow36]

Aro Dex Fic I don't feel like Titling

Word count: 2333

Tw: swearing, murder/near death experience mentions (i promise it's fluffy tho)

Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously @poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @the-blender-of-the-genders @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @immersion-blender @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @xanadaus @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @arson-anarchy-death

And of course a HUGE thank you to @synonymroll648 for giving me the motivation to write this thing. It'd still be rotting in my google drive if it weren't for you and I hope it lives up to your expectations from that one snippet. Sorry it took an extra day; I got distracted playing factorio in true Dex fashion

On Ao3 or below the cut!

    A knock at Dex’s bedroom door cuts through xor blaring music. Xe’s fully prepared to wage all-out guerilla warfare against whichever one of xor siblings dared to interrupt one of the few times xor brain isn’t being a little bitch. 

    One of the very few times xe isn’t worrying about seventeen thousand different productive things xe has to do and is instead simply able to ignore them. 

    And that’s exactly why xe’s spent the last two and a half hours coding a game of bingo. Sometimes that just kind of happens. It’s not like there’s anything xe can do to change it. 

    Dex pulls out his earbuds, calling, “Come in!” 

    Sophie’s head pokes through a small gap in the doorway as she greets, “Hello!” 

    Awfully cheery for someone who has a near-death experience once a week. I wonder what Keefe’s done this time. 

    “Oh, hey.” Dex smiles. “I didn’t know I still existed in your mind.” 

    Sophie closes the door behind him as he points to his temple, giggling, “Photographic memory.”

    “Ah. That explains it. What sort of project do you have for me this time?” Despite what she may claim and what Dex wants to admit to xemself, Sophie has a…tendency to only come see xem when she has a project for xem. That’s just the way it works these days.  

    “Hide me from Sandy. I don’t want to deal with him today,” Sophie answers, smooshing into the bean bag in the corner. 

    Dex sighs. “If you get murdered under my watch, I better not get blamed.” 

    Xe may mean it in a joking way, but history has shown it’s a possibility that shouldn’t be immediately discounted, and then it would be all xor fault if something happened to him. 

    Sophie makes a disgruntled noise. “You sound just like Sandy.” 

    A smile pulls at the corners of Dex’s mouth. “...Maybe I’m part Goblin. That would explain a lot.” 

    What exactly it would explain, xe doesn’t know. But there’s probably something somewhere. 

    “Like the fact you’re seventeen feet tall?” 

    Note to self: learn the US customary system of measurement. 

    At least, the way she says this implies that this is a large number even if the Elves don’t measure things in feet. Feet--as in, the attached appendages--vary in size too much for their pretentiousness because everything has to be standardized. 

    But not the same way humans do. The human metric system isn’t good enough either. Why that is, nobody knows. 

    “I’m a normal height. You’re just short.” 

    Actually, xe’s half a maik taller than the average elf, but that’s close enough for the sake of argument. 

    “You know what? Fuck you.” Sophie replies, getting up from the bean bag and burrowing into Dex’s bed. 

    Or at least that’s what it sounds like he says. The blanket muffle factor is very high. 

    He pauses for a second before mumbling, “I live here now.” 

    I really hope you can breathe in there. 

    “Mood.” Dex turns to go back to xor Bingo project, but xe has a thought--wasting xor only one for this week on a Tuesday--

    Why do Elves use the same Gregorian calendar as humans do anyway? Eh, whatever. That’s an issue for another day. 

    --and asks Sophie, “Why didn’t you choose to go brother Keefe?” 

    “More time before Sandy finds me. He’d check there first. Or maybe Everglen. Either way, it’s high up on the list.” 

    Dex shakes xor head. “So you’re trading my life for what? Ten minutes of being buried in a blanket cocoon? Can’t you do that at home?”

    “Well, yeah, but I don’t have Gwendle at home,” she replies, crushing the fluffy pink pig’s head in with her elbow. 

    “If something happens to Gwendle, I swear to fucking Exile the Neverseen are going to look like a bunch of Level Twos.” 

    “Level Twos are vicious, my dude. I hope you can bring it.” 

    “I know. I live with three of them. Send help.” 

    Sophie does not seem to take this as an actual plea for help. Or actively chooses to let Dex suffer. 

    “Wait, the triplets are Level Twos? They’re still supposed to be like,” Sophie pauses, “seven.” 

    “They were nine the first time you met them!” 

    “That’s both wrong and incorrect.” 

     No, unfortunately, it is neither of the above. And Dex has learned from the most obnoxious of Level Twos, so any sort of punishment xe creates is certain to be horribly painful. 

    Sophie recovers quickly from this revelation, asking, “So what’s new in your life?”

    “Not much. I have a random bruise on my arm and I’m not sure how it got there.” Xe tries to show her, but his head is buried in the blanket cocoon and has no chance of appreciating the yellow blob.

    Is it weird my bruises don’t really go through the bruise-looking purplish stage and instead go directly to yellow-green? I should Google that at some point.

    “How about you,” xe tacks on after a moment because that is the correct next step of the social contract. 

    “I’ve been experiencing gay thoughts for Keefie. You know how it is.” 

    Dex laughs nervously. No, I don’t, Sophie. 

    It’s not that Keefe isn’t objectively attractive, all Elves are, but that’s part of the problem. If all Elves are gorgeous, then none of them are.  

    Don’t blame me for getting my philosophy from The Incredibles. There’s only so much I can do. 

    “Oh, and, uh, by the way. I’m not exactly straight,” Sophie mentions casually. 

    Dex sees flashbacks of one of the last times xe was trying to procrastinate, trying to find Amy on human Social Media because that seemed like a good use of his time. 

    Incidentally, he found both Amy and Sophie, who stated in his description that he’s bi. Also the gender thing. That should also count for something although that hasn’t been updated in a while and still included they/them which has since been blacklisted for reasons.

    “I--I know. I stalked your Instagram page.”

    Sophie sits up, blankets puddling around her, hair standing on end from static. “You found that?”

    “I’m a Technopath with too much free time so…yeah.” Dex shrugs. “Spent some time trying to look through every single Sophie Foster but then I figured Amy would probably be following you and somehow she managed to find me a while ago.”

    “Why the fuck do you even have an Instagram?” 

    “I’ve got to keep up with the chocolate man’s bullshittery,” Dex replies like it’s the most obvious answer in the world. 

    Sophie clearly has no clue who Dex is talking about, but doesn’t bother asking. There are some days when going to a lecture is almost tolerable, but she’s not going to waste her free time away from Sandor to learn. “Fair.” He pauses, falling back into the bed with a huff. “You’re smart. Can you explain something to me?” 

    “I can try?” Dex replies, attempting to mentally prepare for whatever he tries to throw at xem. 

    “Elves are fucking stunning, yes?”

    Xe was not prepared for that. 

    “Yes?” Objectively, of course, but yes. 

    “So can you explain to me why my gay awakening was caused by Grace O’Malley? Like, what the fuck, brain? She’s been dead for centuries. I don't understand this. And this postdates moving to the Lost Cities by the way. This was two months ago.” 

     I could’ve told you two years ago, but I was oblivious to myself so I’m not going to be like that. Not today. 

    Dex nods like xe understands what she’s saying, but despite xor human studies, xe has no clue who this is, but there’s reasoning behind it. Just like the entire conversation they had ranking all the US presidents by how attractive they were. 

    That Franklin Pierce won by a large margin.

     Why that was a conversation, xe couldn’t tell you. Why Grace O’Malley is causing Sophie so many gay thoughts, xe couldn’t tell you either. 

    “You have no clue who I’m talking about, do you?” Sophie asks. 

    “No but that doesn’t mean I don’t have Wikipedia…but, please be my Wikipedia for this. It’s sure to be more entertaining than normal Wikipedia.” 

    “I see you’re enjoying my suffering,” Sophie mutters, but before Dex can reply, he’s off on a rambled explanation. “Grace O’Malley, also known as Granuaile, was the baddest bitch that ever lived. I mean yes she was documented to have a husband at one point and a boyfriend at another point but then he was killed and she absolutely fucked his killers over so, yoou know, that comes out even. She’s known today as the pirate queen of Ireland and, gods, I wish she’d step on me.” 

    Are the Allos okay? 

    “None of my little gay thoughts make any sense. By any rational means my gay awakening should’ve been Biana or Marella or Linh. Oh gods, Linh is so pretty. Isn’t Linh so pretty?”

    “I…haven’t really thought about it I guess.” 

    “What the fuck do you mean, my dude?” Sophie asks, sitting up once again to stare into Dex’s soul.

    Dex shrugs. “I mean it just hasn’t really crossed my mind.”     

    Sophie buries his head in his hands. “What do you mean it hasn’t crossed your mind‽ I can’t seem to have any other thoughts even when I’m literally in the middle of getting murdered.”

    Dex takes a breath. “Would you like a possible explanation to this whole dilemma?”

    Cranking sarcasm up to eleven, Sophie replies, “No. I enjoy suffering this anguish. Teach me your ways.” 

    “Yeah, so, um. A couple of weeks ago I might’ve come to the realization that I’m aro…”

    Smiling, Sophie asks in pretend anger, “Why the fuck did I kiss you then?” 

    “You see, what I believed was romantic attraction was really just a wonderful combination of a squish and comphet. So yeah. That happened. I’m sorry.” 

    “Oh, don’t be sorry. Elves being painfully blind to the obvious is just simply a genetic trait we all seem to share.” 

    “...I thought I was part goblin.”

    “You inherited the worst of both worlds. Obliviousness and being tall,” Sophie laughs.”So how’d you overcome your predisposition to obliviousness?” 

    Dex begins, “I was laying in bed one night at about, let’s say three a.m. because that’s better than the actual time, refusing to sleep because sleep is for losers--”

    “Mood,” Sophie interrupts.

    “--and out of nowhere the realization hit me like a sack of wet mice. Looking back, the lack of heart palpitations should have been a very telling sign. And there was some sorting out and reclassifying what I previously believed was romantic attraction but everything can be explained away pretty easily,” Dex finishes. 

    “Palpitations? Is that related to Emperor Palpatine? Dex, are you gay for a crusty old Star Wars dude?” Sophie jokes.

    Dex laughs. “That would be so on brand for me but, sadly, no. You know when your heart gets fluttery during a panic attack? It’s the fancy medical word for that.”

    “Why do you know this? You aren’t a healer; you don’t like people enough for that.” 

    “Partially because Merriam-Webster offers a word of the day calendar and partially because my brain just sometimes decides to store the most useless shit. Like the periodic table. Can you tell me the molar mass of copper off the top of your head?”

    “63.55, of course. But you don’t have a photographic memory. This makes no sense to me.”

    “You see, to make room for all that extra storage, I forget an equal number of things. Often the victims are remembering to eat and sleep and which way is left and right.” 

    “Mood. Do you know the left hand right hand trick?”

    “...no?” Dex answers. 

    “If you hold out your left hand, it looks like an ‘L’ which is the same letter that starts the word left. And the right hand is backwards,” Sophie explains. 

    “I hate to break this to you, Soph, but that might be the case in the Latin Alphabet--I should really get back to Duolingo--but that’s not how it works in Elvin runes. And I have a feeling it would take more brain power to remember the rule than to remember left and right so I think I’m just not going to know directions ever. I’ve resigned myself to my fate.” 

    Before he can craft an elaborate mnemonic device to help both of them with a skill they probably should have learned in elf-kindergarten, Dex’s mom yells up the stairs for xem. 

    Half a second later, she’s followed up by a chorus of slightly-off-timed “DEX!”s from the triplets. 

    Xe cracks the door open, replying, “Yeah?” 

    “You wouldn’t happen to know where Sophie might be, eh?” 

    The triplets attempt to also repeat this, to vastly more disastrous results as Dex and Sophie have the shortest staring contest in recorded history. 

    ‘I’ll send her right down!” Dex says, trying to keep any sort of emotion from xor face to no avail. 

    Sophie’s gaze hardens into a glare with the fury of an incredibly cliche but still somehow accurate thousand suns. 

    “You can go and fuck yourself,” he says quietly. 

    Dex pretends to consider. “Nah, I’m too ace for that. Now. Begone before Sandor comes and destroys my room. Everything has its assigned place and I’m not in the mood to reorganize. Not today.” 

    “Bye! If I never get to leave the house again I’ll hail you when I get bored.” 

    Please don’t. I’d rather not have a panic attack and avoiding calls is a very good way to do that. 

    Dex waves as Sophie escapes xor room and down the stairs. If she gets kidnapped by the triplets on the way down, it isn’t xor fault. 

    Xe collapses back into xor chair, leaning too far back and scaring xemself before sighing. 

    That was…less painful than anticipated. Still not telling my mother any time in the next thousand years though. Even with a society constructed around the arospecs we call the council. That’s not happening. Not under my watch.