#song: afraid by the neighborhood

[bellatrixnightshade]

I know there is another song that is literally the ATOTE anthem, but "Afraid" by The Neighbourhood fits so well. For more than one character. Even the music is just so in line with the vibe of the fic.

I just realized it while listening to my "On Repeat" Spotify list.

"All my friends always lie to me. I know they're thinking, you're too mean, I don't like you. Fuck you anyway!"

"You make me want to scream at the top of my lungs. It hurts, but I won't fight you. You suck anyway."

"When I wake up, I'm afraid somebody else might take my place."

[bonefarm]

The notes on a recent post got me thinking

By nature, I’m a fan of having 2 beers and meeting strangers at a bar somewhere you’ve never been, which is a thing that we don’t do in 2023 between COVID and being afraid of one another because of the prevalence of gun violence and regular violence and misdirected road rage and the million other little deadly social erosions of the past 10 years or so.

You have got to let go of this idea that any place is a complete nothing-burger full of nothing-people.

You have to.

Its vitally important that you navigate that airport with a stranger in Denver and realize he’s got a tattoo of lyrics from your favorite song. To sing House of the Rising Sun with four people you’ve known for 2 hours (and somehow managed to get into the DNCs private bar with) in the back of an Uber in DC when it’s pissing rain and entirely too cold for your southern blood. It’s important to cooperate and solve problems together and go about it laughing and singing. We are silly little creatures that love a puzzle and a story.

It’s also important to flee a tornado in the back of a shitty red pickup at pride in Oklahoma City and feel the sky break wide-open against the lazy /tick-lok/ /tick-lok/ of the windshield wipers while racing down what once was Rte 66. Its important to know that in the face of creeping fascism that place, of all places, has entire gay neighborhoods. It’s important to wake up in an apartment high, high up in NYC and watch the sun through the buildings and boulevards and watch the glorious great goddamn of that impossible number of people all cooperating and all not. To say Hyoo-stun, that way, on purpose just to get a rise of your born and bred NY friend who does NOT think you’re funny but will make coffee for you.

You need to see a beach full of people cautiously approaching and flinching away from a floating, dead horseshoe crab on Tybee Island, Georgia the way any troupe of wild animals approaches an unknown alien thing. Cows in a field, fish in the ocean flinching from a diver. Little children squealing and wide eyed behind their parents legs. You need to be the person that walks out and picks it up and watches the rest of the crowd creep in to investigate.

I don’t get to travel a lot in the way that most people do, when I go to a place it’s usually because something bad has happened there, but I have found it universally true that most people just want to tell you a story or show you a picture on their phone of the craziest thing they’ve ever seen and they don’t particularly care who you are or what your accent is. Sometimes they do, and those people suck, but those people are not the majority.

Sometimes if you let an old redneck talk he’ll tell you everything you never wanted to know about forensic accounting. Sometimes you’ll meet someone in the middle of the biggest city in the US who knows everything about show pigs. I’ve been to the smallest Kansas towns and the biggest cities in the US and I’ve found none of them were full of nothing.

[kissoulie]

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒

𓆡 ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤׂ 🫧

— NSFW, MDNI. being in love with jongseob ♡

warnings: idol!seob, fem terms (princess, good girl), not proofread, i finally use y/n 💔 i caved at the texting bit

nsfw: fem-bodied reader, very mild daddy kink, degrading (whore, slut), exhibitionism (with verbal participation), some grinding, lmk if i missed anything

a/n: jongseob u will always be my first love 😭😭😭 idk how happy i am w this but i wrote it while listening to my playlist of songs that are so Jongseob, so there is clearly some Influence here i hope u all enjoy the appetizer, entree, & dessert 🫶 dedicated to @kisseobie rosa u are my inspiration

1. encounters

jongseob is the type of person who can get along with anyone. he'll find a topic, and he'll engage. it's like a routine to him. but with you, he was genuinely so, so excited to talk to you. maybe it was a little creepy he'd peered over your shoulder, but he immediately recognized the orange from plastic beach, and wanted to know which song you were listening to.

"that's a good one, do you listen to a lot of gorillaz?" he smiles at you, watching your expression go from taken aback to relaxed. "yeah, they're one of my top artists every month."

"kim jongseob, nice to meet you." you smile back at him, and jongseob suddenly believes in love at first sight. his stop is soon. "what's your favorite song by them?"

"definitely rhinestone eyes. i know it's super popular, but it's for good reason." your gums show when you smile, your body fully turning towards him so you can offer him one of your earbuds. "what other kind of music do you listen to?"

jongseob misses his stop. he gets lost in your proximity, swapping recommendations and adding each other on spotify. you two have been chatting for what feels like forever. he never wants this moment to end, "oh, this is my stop.."

the disappointment in your voice breaks his heart just a tad. you frown at him, bumping his head with yours on accident, "i was going to listen to it with you, but i really think you'll enjoy afraid by the neighborhood. and here's my number, i wanna know if you like it or not."

jongseob doesn't just like it, he loves it. he lives it, too. he doesn't have the courage to text you that same night, but the next morning, he adds your number to his contacts.

xxx-xxx-xxxx

hey, it's jongseob, i loved afraid it rly captured how i feel sometimes lol. text me when u get the chance, i wanna see u again

jongseob types and deletes that last part many times before ultimately deciding he should be honest with you.

y/n

morning jongseob! you're up super early haha i would love to see you after work today :) <3

2. enamored

jongseob falls fast, but you fall harder. he's aware he has many faults and flaws, and he works hard to be the best he can be for you. he is the type of boyfriend to make you many playlists, for every difference occasion. he's a date saver. he will celebrate one month, two months, three months... every month. he loves you. where soul's love is subtle, calming, and attentive; jongseob's love is energetic, warming, intense.

jongseob's love is an inferno. he assimilates you into his life seamlessly. the first step is introducing you to the rest of piwon, which goes well considering he talks about you all the time. then he's inviting you to shows, his studio, dance practice (which the members love since you always bring them snacks), rehearsals. he even wants to bring you on tour with him. he knows he can't, but he wants to share his life with you. all of it.

he sends you sooooooo many pics while he's on tour. pictures of where he is, what he's seeing, him. he misses you so much while he's away, he's calling you as often as he can.

he definitely sleeps on call with you while he's gone. and begs keeho to let you sleep over when he gets back. it's not like you'll be able to do anything with soul in the room... but, you know, bribary works in mysterious ways.

3. erotic

jongseob was never above bribing soul to leave for a while so you two could be alone. it's not like he's a kid anymore, but with you not living alone, between the two places the dorm was the better one.

over the course of their tour, you've both been teasing each other like crazy. you, sending him pictures of you in his tshirts, your body, texting him late at night.

y/n

seob i can't wait until you're home :( i'm desperate to have you inside me

seobie 🤍

baby i'm about to go on. you can't be making me hard like this

y/n

it's not like you're here to punish me though :(

[attachment]

seobie 🤍

god i'm gonna fuck you so good when i get back

y/n

but i need you now daddy

seobie

2 more weeks baby, i'll be home before you know it ❤️

he was indeed home before you knew it. by then you were so desperate for him, you jumped him the moment he closed the door to his shared room. you let him pull you onto the bed with him, whining into his mouth the whole way. "patience, baby, sho's still here."

"i don't care! i need you," you started kissing down his neck as an incentive, knowing he could never resist once your hands pressed against his abs. "besides, it's nothing he hasn't seen before."

ah, yes, shota's only incentive to not rat you out to keeho and get you kicked from the dorms: sometimes he gets to watch (and sometimes he gets to join).

jongseob sighs as you slide up onto his stomach, grinding yourself against him desperately. "let's get these shorts off you first, princess."

he pushes you up by your thighs, taking off your shorts and panties in one go. "alright, baby, set yourself back down."

you push his tank top up. god, how that drove you crazy. he squeezes your hips in reassurance while he slowly slides you across his abs. "fuck, seob-"

your moan is caught with a breathy sigh. relief washes over the both of you, "that's it, pretty girl, ride me. get yourself nice and wet."

the rasp in his voice soaks you even more. you start grinding on your own, picking up the pace. he flexes, and you tense, "so close, fuck"

jongseob stops you with a hand on your thigh, getting out of his own shorts, and pulling his tank top over his head. "think you can take me without prep?"

you nod, pulling your own shirt off. he carefully lines himself up, then sets you down. the moment he slips in is pure bliss for you, "such a good girl for me."

"seems like she's a desperate little whore for you, actually." you whine hearing shota's voice, involuntarily clenching around seob at the degrading words.

"you don't know what you're talking about, sho. she feels heavenly." jongseob nuzzles into your neck, hands pawing at you desperately.

sex with jongseob is oftentimes desperate. he gets pussydrunk very easily. he'll spend hours between your thighs, eating you out with purpose, until his dick is so hard it hurts, and he can't wait another moment to be inside you.

he'll make you beg for it. not for long, but just enough for you to get teary eyed. he has a small thing for you crying for him. he was already a bit of a perv before he met you, but ever since you first had sex he's been... corrupted, almost.

taglist: @tkooooop, @haolovre ♡

[1donteat1restrict]

AŃA/3D songs

put your songs in the comments

note: some of these songs are explicitly about 3Ds

1. skinny by rebzyyx

2. blood on my docs by h3artcrush

3. hip bones by punkinloveee

4. thigh gap by ratrace90210

5. carmen by lana del rey

6. sippy cup by melanie martinez

7. orange juice by melanie martinez

8. creep by radiohead

9. restoration of the neglected by rebzyyx

10. i hate my emotions by rebzyyx

11. black bathing suit by lana del rey

12. 4 morant by com truise

13. 13 by h3artcrush

14. i luv being skinny by zeija

15. reality tv by punkinloveee

16. beauty’s pain but im gorgeous by horrormovies

17. nothing lasts 4ever by rebzyyx

18. yellow by coldplay

19. girl of my dreams by guti

20. things to do by alex g

21. sextape by deftones

22. pretty when you cry by lana del rey

23. 4st 7lb by manic street preachers

24. she is suffering by manic street preachers

25. you get me so high by the neighborhood

26. transgender by crystal castles

27. void by melanie martinez

28. no one here by kensuke ushio

29. the difference between medicine and poison is the dose

30. pretty cvnt by swrslt

31. cigarettes out the window by tv girl

32. nintendo 64 by alex g

33. diet mountain dew by lana del rey

34. i don't hate my body im just afraid of it by mallrat

35. precious by Depeche Mode

36. diet coke by leanna firestone

37. pennyroyal tea by Nirvana

38. ugly by the smashing pumpkins

39. you're no one by somburd

40. let me get what i want by deftones

41. let it go by the neighborhood

42. hunger by Florence + the machine

43. skeleton appreciation day by will wood

44. cynical skin by get scared

-omg i didn't think people would see this again 😱-

[celestica-1988]

Some other Tokyo Revengers characters headcanon. There will be SPOILERS.

When Mikey left the Sano household he brought with him his towel and some pics of the people he lost. Almost every night when he's curled up in his towel ready to sleep he watches the pics and cries. Yes, even when he's in bonten.

Draken biggest regret is not confessing his feelings to Emma. So when he gets up and goes to bed he always says "I love you" to her pic on the wall.

Baji is so scared of his mother tears because when she cries she turns in a really strong opponent. She's the female version of the blue ogre.

Chifuyu thought that his mother hated Peke J till one day when he got home from school and found the two sleeping together snuggling.

Takemichi finds some notes of his past self in which he's confused about being friends with people he doesn't even remember he knew and lately being involved in a gang. Past Takemichi is afraid he's going insane so our Takemichi writes te a note in which he explains everything. Not surprisingly past Takemichi is even more confused and thinks he need a therapist.

Kazutora is proud of his tattoo. He just wish people in Japan wouldn't be so scared of tattoos because sometimes is tired of hide it with turtlenecks.

Takuya likes to watch wrestling.

Yamagishi dream is that his delinquent encyclopedia would be published one day.

Akkun dies his hair red by himself as a training to be an hairdresser.

Mitsuya is very good at karaoke, he likes to sing rock songs.

Hakkai is the first and more hardcore shipper of Mitsuya x Yuzuha. He really wants Taka-chan to be a part of his family.

Sometimes Taiju babysits Mana and Luna. One time they asked him to watch IT (the 90s version) with them since Takanii forbid them to watch such a scary horror movie, Taiju accepted but not much longer the movie started Mana and Luna started to cry and Taiju did his best to comfort them (he said he would punch any clowns that goes close to them or something similar). In the end the little ones fell asleep in his arms and Taiju had to live for a week with the Mitsuya because Mana and Luna felt safe only near to him. Needless to say an angry Mitsuya scolded Taiju.

When Pahchin gets released all the Toman members throw a party for him. He was sad Mikey was not there though.

When Yasuda confessed to Pehyan he malfunctioned and froze for a solid 15 minutes.

Angry thought for a while that he would be a nurse when he will be an adult. He changes his mind after seeing Nahoya smiling with his eyes wide in delight while eating the ramen that he prepared. Since then Angry wants to be a ramen chef.

Smiley once stole Angry favorite stuffed animal, Souya got so upset that accidentally unleashed the blue ogree. Since then Nahoya always politely asks to Souya if he can borrow one of his plushies.

Mucho goes to punk rock concerts, one time he brought Sanzu with him, but it wasn't a good idea. Sanzu beated almost all the people in the venue.

Sanzu ends up regretting killing Mucho, he misses the older brother he was for him. Especially when he feels lonely and he realizes he has got nobody to talk to.

When Kisaki reaches the afterlife Baji punches him in the face so hard that for a moment he was sure he would come back in the world of the livings.

Hanma likes to play shooting games at the arcade, but when he loses he usually punches the machine.

Kokonoi lives in a traditional house when he's in bonten. There are a lot of candles, lanterns and things that make it a cozy place. Only Miley is admitted in his house and only for urgent matters. The house is his sanctuary to find inner peace after dealing with his crazy coworkers.

Inui likes goth girls more because they understand and appreciate his hobbies.

When Izana listens to Queen the whole neighborhood listens to Queen.

Kakucho learned to cook from Mochi.

Mochi hates creeps who harass women and always beat them down to a pulp. Harassing a woman is not an honorable behavior for a man!

Shion always fails tests of courage since when he was a kid. He believes in ghosts and he's afraid of them.

Rindou panicked when Ran slept for a whole day, he thought he was dead or in a coma. That's when he realized how important Ran is to him. When Ran woke up he cried for joy and ran to buy a mont blanc for his brother.

Ran cut his hair because he was tired of Sanzu calling him Wednesday or Annabelle.

Never insult someone because they are not fully Japanese in front of South, he will punch the living shit out of you. Since he's also a mixed race person he hates when people are bullied for that reason.

Wakasa saved a stray cat once and let the kitten live with him. Now when he doesn't wanna hang out with Takeomi he said he's busy... Busy cuddling his cat that he treasures so much because it help him avoid unnecessary social situations. And because... Who doesn't love a cat?

Benkei likes to built copies of castles in miniature. It relaxes him cause it takes great concentration and ability to do that in the right way.

Takeomi gossips like an old lady with his coworkers (may God help them)

Shinichiro cried the first time he watched Titanic, it's one of his favorite movies.

Yuzuha meets with Emma and Senju every month to talk about how hard it is dealing with problematic brothers.

Hinata is a fan of Avril Lavigne and sometimes she dreams of touring around the world playing the songs she wrote. Unluckily she can't sing but she has got some alternative fashion clothes.

Emma talks and sleeps with the plushie Draken gave to her. She calls him Kenken.

Senju goes often to Harajuku to take inspiration for her outfits.

[deerlino]

Hey!

I don't know if you write things like that,but could you maybe write a member x fem reader oneshot/drabble inspired by the song afraid by the neighbourhood? Like make it angstyyyy,jst like the song.Been feeling like this song lately.I know you write incredibly good,and i trust you with thatttt.

Ofc it's totally okay if you don't want to write this <33

I hope you have a great day and never forget to drink water and take care of yourself!❤️❤️

i’m still afraid ( lmh. )

lee minho | fem!reader

“i wake up, i’m afraid somebody else might take my place.”

synopsis. you and minho confront his deep-seated doubts and fears, grappling with the complexities of love and acceptance in your relationship. (857 words)

content. angst, based on the song “afraid” by the neighborhood, established relationship, anxiety, self-worth issues, relationship struggles, communication issues, insecurities, hurt/comfort, ambiguous ending (?)

warnings. physical violence (minho slams his fist into a wall once), emotional distress (self-doubt, anxiety, and feelings of worthlessness), verbal conflict (heated arguments and shouting between characters), depression, anxiety and fear

authors notes. long time no chat! sorry for disappearing—i've been on vacation in italy, so writing took a backseat. >_< but i managed to squeeze in this request on the bus. hope you enjoy it, anon! <3 i tried to stick to the song as much as possible, but i did go off track a bit while writing—hope that's okay. T_T love serving up some delicious angst for you guys, haha. enjoy! (ps: thanks for the sweet words, anon. really appreciate it, my love!) <3 <3

The room feels suffocatingly small as you and Minho stand on opposite sides, the silence between you filled with the echoes of your harsh words. It’s another night where his self-doubt and anxiety have spiraled into a fight that neither of you can control.

“Why do you always have to push me away?” you shout, frustration boiling over. “Why can’t you see that I’m here because I love you?!”

Minho’s eyes are wild with emotion, his voice trembling as he retorts, “You don’t get it! You never will! I’m nothing but a burden to you.”

“Stop saying that!” you scream, tears streaming down your face. “You’re not a burden. You’re everything to me, but you keep trying to convince me otherwise.”

He turns away, his shoulders shaking. “Maybe you should listen to me for once. Maybe you’d be better off without me.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you struggle to breathe. “Do you really want me to leave? Is that what you want?”

He slams his fist into the wall, leaving a dent. “No! But I can’t stand the thought of you wasting your time on someone like me.”

You step closer, your voice softer now but no less intense. “Minho, look at me. Please.”

He reluctantly turns, his eyes red-rimmed and filled with despair. “Why can’t you see it? I’m broken. I’m scared all the time that you’ll see what a mess I am and leave.”

You reach out, your hand trembling, and cup his face. “I’m not going anywhere. I love you, even when you’re a mess. Especially when you’re a mess.”

He pulls away, his voice breaking. “But why? Why would you stay? Everyone else left when they saw the real me.”

Your heart breaks at his words, the raw pain in his voice cutting deep. “Because I’m not them. I’m not going to leave you just because things get tough. I want to be here for you, Minho. I want to help you.”

He laughs bitterly, wiping at his tears with the back of his hand. “You can’t fix me. No one can.”

“I’m not trying to fix you,” you whisper, stepping closer again. “I just want to love you. Is that so hard to accept?”

He looks at you, his expression a mixture of anger and sorrow. “Yes, it is. Because I don’t feel worthy of your love.”

You take a deep breath, trying to steady your voice. “But you are. You’re worth everything to me.”

He collapses onto the bed, burying his face in his hands. “I wish I could believe that.”

You sit beside him, placing a hand on his back. “We can work through this together. We can find a way.”

He looks up at you, his eyes filled with hopelessness. “What if we can’t? What if I drag you down with me?”

“Then we’ll figure it out,” you say firmly. “But I’m not giving up on you, Minho. Not now, not ever.”

- - -

One night, you find him sitting on the balcony, staring out into the darkness. You join him, the cool night air doing little to soothe the tension between you.

“What are you thinking about?” you ask softly.

He doesn’t look at you, his voice barely above a whisper. “How easy it would be for you to leave.”

You feel a pang of hurt but try to keep your voice calm. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ve told you that.”

He finally turns to you, his eyes filled with unshed tears. “But what if one day you wake up and realize I’m not worth it? That all this pain and struggle isn’t worth it?”

You take his hand, squeezing it tightly. “Minho, I won’t lie to you. It’s hard sometimes. But I love you, and that makes it worth it. We’ll get through this.”

He shakes his head, pulling his hand away. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You do,” you insist, your voice breaking. “You deserve to be loved and cared for. You deserve happiness.”

He stands up abruptly, pacing back and forth. “No, I don’t. I’m a mess. I’m scared all the time. I push you away because I can’t stand the thought of you realizing I’m not worth it and leaving.”

You stand up too, blocking his path. “Minho, stop. Just stop. You’re not alone in this. I’m here, and I want to be here. Please, let me help you.”

He looks at you, his eyes filled with anguish. “How? How can you help me when I can’t even help myself?”

“We can get through this together,” you say desperately. “We can find help, talk to someone. We can do whatever it takes, but you have to let me in.”

He collapses back onto the chair, his head in his hands. “I’m so scared,” he whispers.

You kneel beside him, wrapping your arms around him. “I know. But you don’t have to be scared alone. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

It won’t be easy, but with love and patience, you know you can help Minho heal. And maybe, just maybe, one day he’ll believe that he’s worth it too.

© deerlino (est. 130724) ༯ heyo, did you enjoy this piece? if you did, maybe you could reblog, drop a comment, or shoot me an ask to let me know your thoughts. also, feel free to check out my other stuff! thanks a bunch for the support! <3

[ice-cream-writes-stuff]

Last Night In The Neighborhood☆

《You're my world, you are my night and day. You're my world, you're every prayer I pray..》

《Warnings: the subject matter this ARG has are potentially disturbing. DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT. Welcome Home was created by Clown @/partycoffin 》

-

Moving from your old home is a scary thing, whether you don't care for the danger ahead. Change is different, it's an oddity.

So when you find an old soundtrack album of a kids show from the 70s when you were unpacking. You grow curious.

Noticing a dusty old record player in the farther corner, you try to recall how to even use one. Begrudgingly searching up how to work the machine on your phone. You smile in pride as the vinyl disc starts to swirl about.

Picking up the album cover, you look over the design.

A cast of colorful characters smiles on the cover. Their expressions are forever saved in place, at least eight puppet-looking creatures waved or paid attention to the viewer. Even a little odd house with windows for eyes.

As if they stared right back at you.

Ignoring your uneasiness, you place the item down near the record-player and continued unpacking the little items you brought. That moving truck better be here by tomorrow..

Your feet tap to a few songs, occasionally singing or humming along clumsily with your own made-up lyrics.

When it became nighttime, you were uneasy, the loud noises from outside, and your paranoid self couldn't handle the stress. Grabbing a random record, you place the needle on the disc and throw the covers over yourself. Trying to drown out the world for at least a little peace.

-

Waking up to bright lights and rainbow color schemes surprised you. Your legs moved on their own as they take in the sights and sounds of this weird dream.

Houses and streets greet you, along with music that you swore was playing before you fell asleep.

Coming closer to the source of the music, you were shocked by the characters on the album singing and dancing to the rhythm.

One of them notices you and waves you over to join them.

You smile, this was a dream you could get used too.

Joining in with your messy lyrics and footwork. The puppets greet you with open arms and cheers.

When the song finishes, one of them comes up to you. They smile gently, holding out their hand for a handshake, asking for your name.

You tell them, ask for their own.

Before they could say it, they were interrupted by a pink monster girl.

"My name is Julie! That frowny face over there is my best buddy! Frank Frankly! Oh! And over here is..." She continued as she finally finishes with the blue-haired puppet who was shaking your hand.

Not once letting his eyesight stray away from you. "He's Wally! Wally Darling!" Julie said.

She then whispers into your ear loudly. "He's a painter! He likes to paint pretty things.."

The rainbow monster giggles, nudging you coyly and side-eyeing the other puppet.

He appeared uncaring of his friends' teasing, he only smiles. His attention was solely on you, it made you feel... Special.

He made you feel special.

In the following days, you felt yourself changing, you were happier. Content with your daytime life and nighttime shenanigans with Wally and the rest of the puppets.

Hell, even your clothes were starting to change into a whole new style. The colors and lengths become more in tune with the type of clothes your friends wore in your dreams.

Yes. They were your friends, especially Wally, he had become your closest friend in your polychromatic fantasy.

And you couldn't be more thankful. At least, in the beginning...

The more you slept, the longer you stayed, it felt as if the world where Wally resided wouldn't let you leave. As if it was crying out for you to come back whenever you woke up.

You couldn't handle the newfound drowsiness you found yourself in day in and day out. It started to take a toll on you, to the point where you feared to sleep. Afraid that if you fell back into the fantasy, you may never leave.

《If our love ceases to be. Then it's the end of my world for me..!》

-

[For context! This was based off Last Night In Soho, were a girl dreams about a mysterious girl in the late 60s. I was inspired to write my version of it it with a mix of welcome home! Thank you for reading! Fan art and reblogs are appreciated! Helps with creativeness, also, to my [WElcome To Your New HomE] fans, sorry for not a new update!]

[the-lazyyy-artist]

Pairing: Takuma Ino x Fem!Reader (No Curses) Themes: Fluff, High School to Adulthood, feeling like outsiders or the weird ones, Takuma being so pathetic and wanting to have a real connection with the reader. Author's Note: THIS HAS BEEN IN MY BRAIN FOR A WEEK!! I swear, Ino fits the story well. This was based on a fleeting interaction, once upon a time, and I made it into a story. My life is a great inspiration lol.

High School, 3rd Year.

Takuma Ino was the coolest kid you knew.

He walked in the halls with a beanie and a folding fan tucked in the back pocket of his slack, just in case the weather gets too hot. His hair was neatly combed and styled, and he had this laid-back demeanor.

He was one of the cool kids in your class... and they don't interact with geeky, artsy kids like you.

It was the first time in your life that the class was divided into three groups: the cool kids, the artsy kids, and the goofy kids (the class clowns as you called them.) You and your friends belonged to the artsy group and were wary of interacting with the others because of the teasing. They made fun of your friends if they were too passionate about a new show or movie, a character, or an animated crush. So, interacting with Takuma was not possible.

You'd find him at the skatepark near your neighborhood after classes, skating lazily on his board while still in his school uniform. You'd always think that he was so cool and occupied the top of the list of awesome people you know in your lifetime.

So, when you were both in your 20s, it surprised you that he sent you a friend request on Facebook and a follow request on Instagram and Twitter. It surprised you that you have the same humor, often reacting HAHA on each other's Facebook posts. It surprised you that he, like you, can sing a tune and play the electric guitar skillfully.

What surprised you the most was when he finally sent you a message, asking you to help him improve the song he was writing. "You write songs?" you asked him, listening to the song memo he sent over chat. "Yeah, a couple of years now," he responds.

He became cooler in your eyes, the way he posts his songs on his social media profiles had you swooning. His words and the way he arranged it amazed you. You once asked how he learned to play and arrange it, and he answered, nonchalantly, "I learned through YouTube."

When Takuma invited you to come to his gig around town, you were delighted to finally see him in his element. It's been a while too since you two have seen each other personally. So, when you finally see him, his hair is a little longer now, but the beanie is still there. He smiled so wide that it made you wonder if he was still the Takuma you knew in high school.

And he was, just a little cooler than he was before.

Takuma thought the same about you.

If we switch the lens, Takuma Ino thought you were the coolest.

He would often find himself listening to you talk to your friends about a show that he was secretly watching or about a character that he was also fond of. He would find himself snickering silently if he heard you imitating someone or something online. He was so amazed by how comfortable you were in your skin.

Whenever his so-called friends made fun of you and your friends in secret, he'd always tell them to knock it off, resulting in them teasing Takuma instead. So, he never shared anything he liked with his friends and was secretly wishing he was friends with you instead.

You were never afraid to speak your mind. It was refreshing.

He knew you would see him around the skatepark. He knew that you'd sometimes stare a little longer at him. So, he made sure that he caught your eye every time because a little bit of your attention would make him feel like he was, somehow, connected to you. He knew it was weird, but he was too afraid to be made fun of.

As time went by, he finally felt free to be himself, to post goofy ass memes and opinions about different social media trends, and it feels like being noticed by you was the greatest thing that could make his day better. He loved interacting with you in the littlest ways, and he gathered all the courage he had in his system to impress you.

He already knew how to sing and play the guitar. He was a part of this college band that he and his friends formed. He still made sure that this would impress you, so he invited you to his gig.

The surprise in your eyes when you found out he was in a band made him feel warm inside. He's finally close to you and being around you made him feel like he has a purpose, like he was important, and that he was seen beyond his facade.

So, when he played that one song you kept singing for the whole year in High School, he kept his eyes on you as you sang along with him in the audience. Oh, he never thought that you'd notice him. He never thought that he'd have you cheering for him, and only him. His golden girl.

And when the time came that he stripped off his facade, he was surprised when you laughed at him, and said, "Takuma, even if you didn't do all of these to appear cool and impress me, I still think you're the coolest. No debate on that." Oh, he just wanted to hug you right then and there.

Now, you spend your days together watching the same old shows you liked, watching the old films that you both were gushing about, debating about which character was the best, and you become cooler in Takuma's eyes.

Oh, you two didn't know you would click this way, and Takuma has no plans of letting go of his cool, golden girl. Not ever.

[voulezloux]

All Louis’ life, he’s known he’s been different. There’s always been something at odds about how he felt. As the eldest daughter of seven kids, he knew something was wrong with his body. Something was off, he just couldn’t quite put his finger on it. His mum dressed him in dresses and tights, plaits in his hair as he wandered around with the local neighborhood boys. They called him a girl, called him she and Rosemary when his name is Louis. He had told the boys as such, but they would tell him Louis is a boy’s name, not a girl’s. Louis is a boy. He knows he is.

the one where louis is trans and afraid, harry is cis and brave, and being 100% yourself is easier said than done.

don't be afraid to love (and love again) (83.2k)

written as apart of round 7 of @onedirectionbigbang

art by @wendersfive

listen to songs that inspired the fic here

[ysabelmystic]

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[yjwfiles04]

a d m i s t o f c h a o s .

pairing: idol!jungwon × afab!reader | deliberately lowercased.

word count: 3,872 words

synopsis: you were just an ordinary student living a not so ordinary life and also a fangirl of a kpop idol boy group named "enhypen". you were just living your boring life ever since summer vacation had started. then suddenly; your so called 'idols' suddenly showed up in your place.

genre: idol au (?), angst, comfort, fluff

warnings: mentions of past traumas, rape, touching, cheating, rebel, sickness, crying, sobbing, kissing, and more ! (lmk)

author's note: hellooo! this is my first time writing here and i wrote this story based in my dream ㅠㅠ, it may not be exactly the same as what i've dreamed of because i changed few things in the story, cuz ya know that dreams can be a little bewildering and things were just convoluted in there. so yea, hope you enjoy reading and please like and reblog this, pretty please? >_<

ever since vacation has started, all you did was to stay up all night, watch tiktoks, reels, read, draw, eat, and sleep. very typical for an ordinary person who've anxiety interacting with people. aside from those things people says 'boring', you also spend your time stanning enhypen. voting on the awards they participated in, watching their contents, and basically supporting and loving them. you sometimes go biking around your neighborhood with your friend for productivity and simply to be free just for a moment, cause life's not very considerate when it comes to you.

your family runs a sports tailoring shop in the city and there where your family stays. the first floor is where the shop is and the second floor is where you guys sleep. actually, your family have a house, but it's quite far from where the lives of people were running so your parents decided to just stay in the shop so it can be convenient for all.

aside from that, you may have a very tortuous and unique siblings. you are the youngest child in your family, two older brothers and a sister. accordingly, you have an eldest brother who is already married and had a daughter, your sister who is also married and had two sons, a brother who's a year older and just got over a breakup, and there you are; a girl who is obsessed with seven men who doesn't know you (?) and never been in a relationship.

when you were a little, everything seems to go well. of course, you were just a child, they were going to keep things from you because firstly, you won't really gonna understand, secondly; to prevent you from hurting, or so you thought? but then pandemic hits, and nearly all things changed. the kid who's just a kid abruptly has to face affliction, distress, adversity, suffering, misfortune, and sorts of hardships. you were just a kid, a kid who didn't do anything to deserve those... and that experiences, made you different. someone they don't really know, even you yourself at some times don't know who you really are. no one to talk to about what's happening deep down there in your life cause you're afraid they'll judged you, but even if not, they were busy worrying about their own problems. apart from that, you're not a very open person when it comes to problem matter. moreover for almost infinite disasters you've faced and facing, you thought you were just going to be stuck in that place forever, but then you find not just some to escape the admist of chaos in your life. enhypen, a group of men who saves you, made you strong and brave through their motivations, story, and songs.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .

after a long physically and mentally exhausting day, you hurriedly cleaned up and hopped on your bed at the top in the bunk bed you and your brother shared. you decided to draw on your sketchbook since you're bored so you took out your phone and find inspiration on pinterest. laying whilst scrolling, you find a drawing of jungwon; a kpop idol you adore and love deeply and find solace of. that catches your interest so you click it and eventually, you decided to draw him. while you're in the middle drawing him, the sleepiness inside you suddenly awoken so you put down your mechanical pencil and doze off, the left side of your face on the top of your right hand while laying flat on your stomach.

you got woken up by the noises downstairs so you decided to go down and check why is it so noisy, you didn't fully go down, just a few steps from the door of the second floor. and just to see the tall men sitting in the seating area of the shop. you rubbed your eyes and go down a few steps more, you were nonplussed by what you see. so you tried to rubbed your eyes more harshly, and when that didn't work, you slap yourself hard enough reasoning for the people downstairs to notice you.

"aww, that hurts," you said to yourself and looked at them again. it hit you, you aren't hallucinating. so you hurriedly go back and lie down on your bed. "what the actual freak?!" you mutter. then someone pulled the curtain that covers you and your bed. "y/n, why won't you go down? they are waiting for you," your mom says. "is that really enhypen?!" said you and scratches your head. "does it look like you're dreaming? take a shower and get dressed so you won't look like a beggar, they have been waiting for you," she says and leaves you.

turmoil still lingers but you did what your mother told you to do. you wear a white shirt with an oversized plaid fannel shirt and a jeans that matches your outfit. as you go downstairs, their attention went on you. you immediately go to the corner where they can't see much of you, looking down straight away. "hey, y/n, don't be bashful. we won't bite," you look up and see jay smiling at you but agitatedly look down. "we came here for you so if you don't come here, our efforts just to see you will end in nothing," heeseung says in a gentle tone but with a jot of irony. feeling fensive, you unconfidently walk towards them eyes stuck on the floor. as you got closer to them and stands still like a statue,

a hand grab yours and drags you to sit beside them. you can tell whose hand is it by just looking at it through your line of site. you know that hand too well to know whose is it. looking at the owner of the hand, you know yourself you're right. it's his hand, the hand of the person who gives you comfort, you can feel him, it's jungwons hand. you looked at him with awe, reverence, hero worship, fondness, tenderness, intimacy, warmth, and you name it. all sorts of love and adornments while you scrutinize over him. he's such an eyesome. no words could describe how you feel at this moment. "it's nice to see you, y/n," he says and flash a smile that shows his dimple. oh you swear to the ones above, it's so surreal.

you smiled back but then again, realization smacks at you, "w-what are you guys doing here?" you said while looking around confused. "that doesn't matter why we're here, what matter's we're here... for you," jake glance and grins at you. you look at them one by one because no matter what process you do in your mind you can't match the puzzles of why they're here. "y/n, don't think too much about why we're here, we don't want to stress you out, hmm?" ni-ki says to make you calm down. you agreed, you don't want to stress yourself about the complexities that are happening right now. the salient here is to make the most of the moment that are here now, right?

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .

following the haywire circumstances, enhypen asks you what you wanted to do for the day, you can't think of anything because you don't actually do anything sensible every day since the vacation had commenced. hence, all you could think of is... riding a bike?? (what?)

"you sure you want... to ride a bike?" sunghoon said while scratching the back of his head. he didn't expect you to take them for a bike ride because honestly, he expected something bigger. but of course, as a boring human being you are, that's something big you could think of. and besides, you don't want to ask something materialistic to them, that'll be too much you think. "yeah, this is all i could think of at this moment, i'm so sorry if i disappointed you guys," saying that, you smiled bitterly at them. "n-no, i didn't mean anything by that–", "don't mind him, y/n, he really wants to ride a bike and he's just too perplexed to see you," sunoo interrupted sunghoon then grabs your hand to get the bikes for the both of you.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .

what all you did for today was roamed around your town, and when every single one of you were tired, you thought of having a mini picnic for a while by the river where there weren't many people as per the sunset's gradually showing out. after that you thought of inviting them to the fair with you, as it's getting dark; the rides and playgrounds there will be lit up and and little by little, people started going there to wander around. you all enjoyed going there, you played different games like shooting the ball, darts, and so on. heeseung and jay won a teddy bear and they gave it to you, saying it was a remembrance. y'all also ride different types of rides such as the vikings, mini roller coaster, horror train where others told you they weren't scared but when y'all got inside they screamed their lungs out, and more rides. of course when some were hungry each of you decided to eat, you ate dinner there since there were many choices and places to eat.

you can't help but to be amused by this moments with them, even though it's not vain, it's ecstatic.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .

after a long magical exhausting day with them, they insisted you come with them to spend the night at the condominium they rented so they could still spend time with you, you have no idea why your family agreed to that but they did. you all managed to watch the movie because you weren't sleepy yet.

while watching, "do you think this will be the finale?" said sunoo abruptly.

despondency etched on his face. you couldn't help but to be stupefied looking at the big screen. "guess everything doesn't lasts forever..." ni-ki answered deeply. it makes you think, that what if, after all the convival you spent together, will it end just like that?

does joy doesn't take long to fade when it comes to you?

you smiled, but the pain is etched in your smiles. nothing lasts forever. forever is a lie. all we have is what's between hello and goodbye. yeah, that's right. forever is not in the vocabulary of the ones above when it comes to you. it's waggish, very very.

tears coming from your eyes, "ey c'mon! it's just a movie, don't fall that easily!" sunghoon says but he's also tearing up. "that's right. of course there's forever. that's not just where forever revoles," jungwon replied and looks at you while you wipe your tears. "okay, okay, let's go to sleep, maybe y'all cry again later," heeseung says and laughs slightly. y'all stand up.

"so... y/n, goodnight?" jake said. "hmm, i guess. goodnight?" you replied. you hugged them one by one, and when you hugged them all except jungwon, you looked at him with bit doubt, nervous to hug him. he gave you an assurance look and take your wrist. then he place it on his back as he places his on your waist. at that moment all you feel is alleviation and solace. you deepen the hug by putting your other hand on his back and he did that as well. after a moment, both of you break the hug and didn't say anything.

"now, let's sleep. goodnight sweetie y/n, see ya?" jake said while yawning, they bid goodbye and went to their rooms so you went in to yours too.

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .

since you entered your room, you tried to sleep but no matter what position you took you couldn't fall asleep. because you had nothing to do, you remembered that the condominium has a balcony in the living room where you watched earlier so you thought of going there.

when you got there you saw the glass door was slightly open in the middle, there was a little air coming in causing the curtains to sway a little. you approached it and opened it, there you saw the lights coming from the city and some lights that were on from another condominium. the wind brushes over you. you can also see the pool at the bottom without people cause it's already dark, what caught your attention was the big moon focused on you, the moon is full, and its light is strange along with some shining stars. the moon also works as another ambient light.

you sat on the corner of the balcony and hugged your knees feeling the breeze. all of a sudden, you zoned out looking at the big round moon in front you. you can't help but to shed tears. everything you've been through comes back to you like strike of lightning. all of the suffering returns like a ghost. with everything you've been through, you've handled it, you've been able to handle it on your own. but no matter what you do, they never let you go, the problem's always there, you're like a prey that they keep coming back to hunt. and now you look like a crying child who's sobbing her heart out.

"y/n..." a worried voice called out to you. startled, you wiped your tears and stood up to see who it was. "jungwon–w-what are you doing here?" you swallowed when you said that. "i-i was just going to get some water but then i saw the door was slightly open so i looked to see if anyone is here" he said and also swallowed his own saliva. "a-are you okay?" he looks at you concerned but you just ignored it. "ha... i'm just venting here, i can't sleep–", "you know you can tell me anything, right?" he approached you a little causing you to suddenly get panicked. "h-huh? d-don't worry about me, i'm totally fine–" next thing you knew, he's hugging you.

"even if you say you're fine, i feel like you're not. you can admit that to me, i understand you. and if not, i will understand you… i will try to."

and when he said that, the tears that you'd been holding back since he arrived just plunged. and now, you're a crying mess on his chest. "you can tell me everything, i will listen." as he said stroking your hair. after a few moments of silence and all could hear was your sobbing, you decided to tell a him everything.

"i-i was just a kid... w-when, all the disasters happened..." you start. "at a young age, at a young age i witnessed my mom being hurt because of my father... not physically but i know in her heart, she was hurting... ever since my mom went abroad to support my older siblings, that's when my fater cheated... me and my other older brother were not there yet, so my eldest brother and sister are the ones who e-experienced the suffering from my dad. the worst of the hardships they suffered because my shameless father took in his mistress in our home. took almost every furniture so my older siblings find it hard to survive, almost all of our equipment ended up in his mistress..." you explained.

"but you know what hurts? he touched my freaking sister w-while mom was not there. you know? not only that, apart from some of his attachments, he had a c-child with his other mistresses." i cried while holding his shirt on his chest. "he took drugs, became a drunkard, a womanizer. i grew up witnessing and knowing them because my mother made me aware. and... a-and when the pandemic came... that's when i collapsed like a cliff... i was just sleeping... i'm still young, still young. i woke up to find him on top of me, rubbing his body against me."

there your crying got louder and louder. jungwon didn't say anything even though he was shocked by what you said, instead he hugged you tighter to ease what you're feeling. "i t-told that to my m-mom, she said... she said we she's going to make my dad go to jail, b-but, but it didn't happen... now, now w-we are still living with him under the same roof."

"because of him my life is ruined... j-jungwon, my life is ruined because of him. i don't know how to move forward. because every time i see him, everything comes back... everything. everything i used to do changed. i'm also afraid to wear short clothes, afraid getting close to m-men. then... other than that, various things happened between me and my family... jungw-won, i'm so tired and i don't i know what to do... i don't know how to resolve it." you pulled your hair and continued to cry.

"j-just after those, something... s-something happened with me and my brother. it was also night and i was sleeping peacefully... when i felt my brother behind me and was hugging me... i don't know if it's because of my trauma that am I so s-scared but i feel that he's touching me, i-i told that to my mom again but she just ignored it, she said it's normal for siblings... i know, maybe, but i'm not used to it... only you guys make me feel comfortable... especially y-you. then b-because of that, i thought of running away, they didn't know where i went, they called me by the phone... but i d-didn't answer. t-the river we went to? there was i went, t-they didn't know that place. but because i-i was afraid that if something happens to my mom while she's finding me, so i said i was there, i told my m-mom and she went to see me. she cried, and i didn't mean to make her cry but i want to go away, i want to leave to feel the freedom i've been longing. i don't want to hurt them, i didn't want them to think i'm a rebel, but what can i d-do... that's when i also realized that my sister became a rebel because of what happened to her... n-now, that's not just the only problem i'm having..."

"we're financially unstable and mom is getting old, m-my side line job is not enough to support my c-collage... mom is s-sick, but i can't do anything, i-i want to help her, treat her. b-but i was raised not to be able to express feelings and c-care. i want to h-help her but i just can't. i want to fin-ish my studies but it's hard if we're short on money a-and mom's income is just enough for daily expenses. h-how can i help her in the future if I'm not sure if i have a future. jungwon, i'm s-so tired... i don't know anymore..." your tears didn't have time to dry because they kept flowing.

after you told your story there was huge silence, jungwon just let you cry and pour out your feelings. after what you've said he didn't feel any disgust, irritation, or anything else. he tried to understood you, and even if he didn't feel what you were feeling he understood you. he's there for you, that's the least he's done and could do for you. to be there for you and be your companion thru these tears.

when you calmed down you let go of the hug and looked at him. "thank you, thank you for listening and for not letting me feel my story's nonsense. and for trying to understand me. i am very grateful to you, jungwon." i smiled at him and he wiped my tears.

he smiled back. "shh... i'm here because i want to be the person you can lean on." he holds your right hand and kissed it. at this moment you really know thay he's your solace, a person who you find comfort to. a person who you can tell everything without judgment. a person who try to understand you. a person who's your everything. you love him, so so damn much.

he hugged you once again and broke the hug. you were surprised when he suddenly brought out a box and opened it infront of you. "a necklace?" asked you, he nodded and took it out the box. "i want you to keep this for me. this will serve as your protection whenever I'm not around and whenever you need someone to be with you in what you're going through and what you've been through." he looked at you and slowly attached the necklace. he couldn't help but to smile at the sight of you. you're gorgeous.

he then puts his hands to your cheecks comes closer a bit. "can i?" he asked, asking for assurance.

you nodded, and there he slowly brings his face closer to you until there's no space. he kissed you so gently as if you're something so pure to him and he didn't want to hurt. he kissed you without sexual desire, just full benevolent and endearment. you feel at cloud nine. he then removed his hand from your cheeks and placed it on your waist as you placed your hands on his neck. the kiss deepened and... and... what?...

"y/n, wake up! prof. kim's mad!" said the voice near you. huh? because you haven't woken up and that person shook you. "oh come on, y/n. do you want to be put in detention?" it mutter. when you didn't respond, the person in front speaks loud, "ms. y/n why are you sleeping in my class?!"

you got irritated so you replied loudly, "what?!" the person who tried to wake you up is rather shocked and so is the other students.

"that's it, ms. y/n to the principals office after class. you're already sleeping in my class and now you have the face to scream like that." the professor says who happens to be mr. kim. you looked at the person next to you and saw your best friend. it looks at you like a ghost.

it was all just a dream? wtf?

after the class, apologized to your best friend for how you've acted and immediately packed your things to head to the principals office, when you open your bag you saw a teddy bear you swore wasn't there. "did you put this here?" you asked your best friend who's also packing her stuff.

"no? why would i put that there?" she replied. "maybe you have an admirer," you just look at her confused then suddenly you remember from your dream that you did go to a fair and two people gave a teddy bear to you, it's exactly the same teddy in your dream. then again, you remembered the necklace so you look at them in your bag but there's nothing to be found.

you almost jumped out of your body when you realized that there was a glowing pendant around your neck so you touched it.

"nice necklace, where did you get that?" your best friend asks, and from that moment you became a cement. how can these things be here if you never had anything like this...

could it be real?... isn't that just a dream?

[scorpioriesling]

I Look In People's Windows

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Eris x reader

Warnings: angst

Summary: It's been years... years since the breakup. He is no longer yours. He never really was, always keeping you at a distance. But, there were some good times. Maybe that's why you keep hoping to see him again, anywhere. Just one more time.

SR’s Note: Cannot get this song out of my head, and yes I am doing an Eris story! I love writing him. This one ends happy, just trust.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

The day he left was the day you'd changed.

He'd tried to reason with you, to make you see why you couldn't be together anymore; it was the day his father killed his younger brother's lover.

Perhaps, he changed on that day too.

"You have to go," he'd said. "You have to get out of here. Now." You remembered it like it was yesterday; there was no option for questioning or changing his mind this time. You'd already started crying, before the argument began.

"I don't care, Eris! I love you, I can't just leave..." You could still feel the way your heart broke, split right in two. Eris had been frenzied, frantically gathering your things and packing them in a backpack.

"And I love you! Don't you see that? I mean, really -- don't you get it?" He threw the backpack on the bed, and you'd watched from the doorway, water dripping from your chin and onto the expensive oak flooring.

"I know you're afraid, but-" He charged over to you, taking your wrists in his hands.

"I am not afraid. Of nothing. Of no one." He said, so close you could feel his breath on your nose. You narrowed your watery eyes at him.

"You are." Is all you said. He dropped your hands, returning to the bed and snatching up the backpack. His back had still been turned to you when he said:

"I won't have you end up dead like Jesminda." Another silent sob racked your body, and you tried hard to keep from shaking.

"You know I'd love you to the ends of Prythian, Y/N." He said, voice quieter now as he approached you and slipped your arms into the staps of the pack. "I would do anything for you." A tear slipped past his eyeline. "Hell, I would jump into the cauldron for you-"

"I don't need anyone jumping into anything," you say, brushing your thumb over his tear-stained cheek. "I just need you. Me. I don't want to not know you anymore." The last part came out shakily. "Does it feel alright to not know me?"

His hands pulled your waist close, and he wrapped his arms around you one more time. You remembered feeling his shoulders shaking, your tears staining his mahogony jacket as you buried your face in his chest. You inhaled deep, smelling his campfire and cinnamon scent one more time...

And now here you were, still addicted to the "if only"s. If only he'd let you stay. If only he'd run with you. If only he was still yours...

You hadn't realized you'd wandered out of your neighborhood, and into the town square. The sky was gray and dull; reflecting how you'd felt inside. When was the last time you'd truly seen the sunshine?

On the last day you'd spent with your love.

Meandering through the Autumn court streets was usually peaceful, not many people being out this time of year as the air had turned a bit chilly. You would constantly check inside shops, the big windows highlighting the guests inside. You don't know what you'd do if you saw him now; its been years since he told you to leave. You'd listened, and stayed away; but that didn't help your mind playing tricks on you. Thinking you'd seen him boarding a train; seeing him at the tables of Christmas parties you couldn't bring yourself to attend.

You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard the conversations around you, growing more and more as you'd ventured further into the square.

"I heard his kid did it."

"I can't believe the High Lord is actually dead."

"I was told that the oldest son slayed him, out of pure hatred."

What were they talking about? Certainly if they were discussing Lord Beron, you would have heard the news by now. If what they were saying was true and he was really dead, that would mean...

"Ahh, thank you Mariella. You always know exactly why I've come!"

Your body freezes, the whisper of sound drifting from an open doorway to a bakery on your left. You'd recognize that honey-dripped voice anywhere.

You break into a sprint, right for the bakery.

You knew you weren't decieving yourself this time.

Peering in through the storefront, you catch sight of his radiant curls, piled on his head. His genuine smile exposes his perfect canines; a smile you hadn't seen in so long. One you'd never thought you'd see again. He looked almost the exact same, just how you remembered him from all those years ago.

Your breath fogged up the glass, and you wiped it with your sleeve. The small squeak that came from the action caused Eris and the cashier to both peer out at you, and you felt an electricity bolt shoot through you when your eyes met his one more time.

He murnured something quickly to the woman, and raced out of the store. When he cleared the entry way, he stared at you in silence for a few beats, utter shock on his face like he was seeing you for the first time all over again. He took one small step towards you, and you couldn't wait any longer. You ran to him and threw your arms around his neck, his wrapping around your waist and twirling you around. When he finally set you down, you pulled back and met those whiskey orbs, solely focused on you. You didn't care who was staring. You didn't care what people said. You only cared about the male in front of you.

"Eris, what... what happened?" You asked, voice breaking as you tried to contain the happy tears running down your face. He only smiled back at you longingly, taking one hand in yours and placing the other in your hair, finally feeling your wispy tendrils he missed so much.

"I feel as though I've waited forever for this," he admits, pulling you in closer. When his lips meet yours, the sweet apple taste is back. One you'd missed for so long. He continues kissing you for a few moments, relishing in the fact that you were finally back in his arms.

"And," he says, pulling away and resting his forehead on yours. "I'm not afraid anymore."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

[matan4il]

Daily update post:

The biggest news out of Israel today is of course that late last night, the government approved a deal with Hamas to release some of the hostages. Here are the details as reported on the news:

50 hostages will be released in 4 groups over the course of 4 days, during which there would be no fighting. Hamas said they will be women and kids, Israel will only be told who's being released the day before. Not all kids are being released. Israel in exchange will release 150 people convicted for terrorist activity. Hamas says it will use these 4 days to try and locate 20 more hostages to be released. Hamas says that some of the hostages are in the hands of smaller terrorist organizations, and some are also being held by civilian families. Just a reminder that some civilians from Gaza followed the terrorists into Israel once the border fence was torn down. Most probably just to loot the houses attacked by terrorists, but at least some partook in the killing of Israeli civilians. Here is a vid of one such man, riding a bicycle stolen from a murdered Israeli, bragging about having killed 3 family members...

For every additional hostage Hamas finds and releases beyond the 50 agreed upon, it will get 3 more convicted terrorists released. For every 10, it will get one more day without fighting, for a total possible break of 6 days. In addition, Israel will not be flying over Gaza, not airplanes and not drones, for 6 hours daily.

It's reported that the stop in fighting will start tomorrow (Thursday) at 10 in the morning. Based on past experience, you can expect Hamas to fire rockets at Israel even past 10, just to show it got the "last word" and Israel will have to contain this, in order to keep the whole deal from falling apart.

The ambivalence about the deal that I tried to express in yesterday's daily post is what I'm hearing almost across the board. People want the hostages who will be freed, they're afraid for the fate of those who won't be, and they're scared of how Hamas might use this break in the fighting.

I think the most infuriating thing Israelis have come across is people describing the deal as "hostage exchange." Multiple Israelis have posted to make the same point: the hostages kidnapped from Israel were all innocent. The prisoners that will be released were all convicted for violent activity. They did not murder, but they tried to.

I saw an interview with one Israeli mother who had survived an attempted murder by a terrorist. She discovered that the woman who committed that crime is one of the prisoners who might be released. The thing is, they used to live in the same neighborhood. The mother asked, "Why should my kid have to see every day the woman who tried to kill me?" Almagor, an Israeli organization for victims of terrorism, has petitioned the Israeli supreme court against the deal. It's not likely to work, as the supreme court has indicated in the past it has no jurisdiction over political decisions, only legal ones.

And of course there's the fear that more Israeli soldiers might pay the price for the fact that Hamas will use the break in the fighting to re-arm and learn from its failures so far. That's the better scenario. There's also the possibility that Hamas would do what they did on "The Black Friday" in 2014. On Aug 1, a ceasefire with Hamas was supposed to start at 8 in the morning. At 9:05 Hamas terrorists used a terror tunnel to attack Israeli soldiers, murder them and kidnap the body of one of them, Hadar Goldin. Nine years later, the body has not yet been returned.

Today is not a day of relief in Israel.

The UK has announced it would allocate 7 million pounds to fighting antisemitism, which is welcome news. Switzerland said it will pass legislation that would prohibit Hamas activity through it.

A uniquely Israeli moment that happened yesterday... Jewish first sergeant Mordechai Shenvald, who was seriously injured in Gaza, playing with his Arab physician, Doctor Darwashe, a song by famous Arab singer Um Kultum, called Inti Umri:

Israel has torn down today a Jewish settlement established illegally in the disputed territories. You'll always hear about when Israel takes down Arab houses built illegally, but I bet most people here havne't heard about it when Jewish Israeli civilians get the exact same treatment for this exact same offense.

This is part of the testimony of a father to a girl with special needs, whose family has survived the Oct 7 massacre:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by כאן חדשות (@kan_news)

This is 25 years old Shani Gabai.

She was considered missing since the Oct 7 massacre. Today, her body was identified among the other victims of the music festival.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[lost-in-reveriie]

basic info » my name is addy! ⁞ she/her ⁞ minor ⁞ queer (bi/ace?) ⁞ swiftie ⁞ intp ⁞ aries ⁞ bookworm ⁞ music lover ⁞ cinephile ⁞ evermore stan ⁞ theater kid ⁞ introvert (but cant shut up if im comfortable)

other accounts: @thegoodwitchcoven @picturesinmymind <33

more info under cut !!

₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ fandoms

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

⤷ books:

marauders era/harry potter (fck jkr) ⁞ folk of air ⁞ grishaverse ⁞ osemanverse ⁞ the hunger games ⁞ agggtm ⁞ the secret history ⁞ the lunar chronicles ⁞ song of achilles ⁞ seven husbands of evelyn hugo ⁞ rwrb ⁞ arc of scythe ⁞ if we were villains ⁞ they both die at the end ⁞ percy jackson ⁞ i kissed shara wheeler (way more im forgetting)

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

⤷ movies/tv

yellowjackets ⁞ good omens ⁞ wes anderson movies ⁞ studio ghibli movies ⁞ iwtv ⁞bridgerton ⁞ wwdits ⁞ ofmd ⁞ wednesday ⁞ umbrella academy ⁞ stranger things ⁞ b99 ⁞ friends ⁞ little women ⁞ dead poets society ⁞ 2000s movies ⁞ she-ra ⁞ spiderverse ⁞ cmbyn ⁞ himym ⁞ ianowt ⁞ ever after high (my childhood) ⁞ perks of a being a wall flower ⁞ barbie ⁞ (and many many more)

⤷ music

hozier ⁞ taylor swift ⁞ olivia rodrigo ⁞ gracie abrams ⁞ conan gray ⁞ phoebe bridgers ⁞ lana del rey ⁞ boygenius ⁞ chappell roan ⁞ noah kahan ⁞ lucy dacus ⁞ arctic monkeys ⁞ maisie peters ⁞ renee rapp ⁞ mitski ⁞ ethel cain ⁞ clairo ⁞ beabadoobee ⁞ sabrina carpenter ⁞ lorde ⁞ the neighborhood ⁞ sufjan stevens ⁞ harry styles ⁞ tv girl ⁞ maya hawke ⁞ cigarettes after sex ⁞ MARINA ⁞ (many more, my music taste is all over the place)

⤷ other

» sturniolo fan ⁞ mild coffee addict ⁞ wes anderson and sophia cappola film enthusiast ⁞ occasional mc youtube fan ⁞ chocolate lover ⁞ cat lover (i have one cat and a dog)

» i love musicals!! namely RTC, six, wicked, and beetlejuice (no, im not really a hamilton fan)

» i play guitar and cello, but i love guitar way more and have been playing for around 7 years! (maybe?)

» im really awkward and if i take a long time to respond to smth its because im thinking abt what to say (and im not online much)

» always feel free to vent to me, and you can ask me anything and talk to me any time. don’t be afraid to reach out!! :))

» thanks for reading my intro post!

➤ dni: homophobes, transphobes, racists, ableists, misogynists, sexists, etc., and "sugar daddies" (been getting a lot of those recently), or anyone else who want to do some "stuff" with me, please fuck off

[shaarlslec]

me and the devil

words: 5958

introduction/part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4

warnings/notes: charles leclerc x reader, friends to enemies to lovers type of a thing, crashes, mentions of panic attacks and triggers;

inspired by: Soap&Skin - Me And The Devil, The Neighborhood - Afraid, The Academic - Why Can’t We Be Friends?, lovelytheband - i like the way, The Wombats - Turn , Wallows - Pleaser

masterlist

You crawled through Charles’ skin leaving traces even underneath it, made your ways through his being and rested in the nerves of his spine until you flooded his mind. Charles was aware of that had no ending nowhere soon.

You never knew pressure before this, not like this.

Taking the lead from Charles sickened you to the core in ways you never had expected, although that was what you wanted right from the start. You promised him this, you promised him to yourself. And yet, beating Charles at his own game was not that thrilling as you expected it to be – not when you were falling for him again, thinking now that perhaps that never paused to begin with.

Winning was supposed to taste sweet, and yet each article fueling your feud and pinning you against each other left your mouth sour and your mind clouded. 

Reporters delved deep into your past: pictures with you standing close to each other at any events you two attended for years, words from your mouths about each other that even you two forgot making headlines. You knew that reporters would attack you both the next time you were found in the same room, and you were nowhere near the disposition to be questioned about the man who days ago was confessing his cravings on your skin. 

Neither was Charles. 

That man fought with his entire being to leave you alone that night. Making irrational choices was out of the question for Charles. And yet, oh, you. Charles spent most of his nights thinking about the ways in which your little after midnight encounter could have gone. The taste of your skin, as little as his lips lingered on the shoulder, intoxicated him like some sorts of a hard liquor. Charles repetitively thought about it as the week passed: your lips trembling, your hand on him and everything that happened in between the heavy breaths. It worked like a wake-up call, having his mind filled with the thought of you instead on the idea of winning the race. You crawled through Charles’ skin leaving traces even underneath it, made your ways through his being and rested in the nerves of his spine until you flooded his mind. Charles was aware of that had no ending nowhere soon, mainly after meeting you again for a press conference right before the race weekend when the man’s heart pounded in an instant right when you walked in. 

You were gutted when eyes met too, your mind unconsciously searching for Charles’ attention as you stepped in after Arthur. Charles nodded a little “hello” and you waved shortly before taking your seat in between Lewis and Russell – as further away as the seats permitted from Leclerc. And yet, eyes examined his hands multiple times and the way they seemed to not find their place on Charles’ lap, rhythmically patting the armchairs’ surface on a song that was silently playing inside the boy’s mind, anything to distract himself for staring at you back in a room full of people. 

All you thought about was the softness of the man’s touch against your back, and all the things he could have touched that night if there were no excuses while Charles was silently wondering if your lips tasted even sweeter than your skin. You shook your head in an instant, dragging attention from Lewis at your right and Charles took a deep breath in as his brother’s touch startled him from behind.

“Are you alright, you look pale.” Lewis then spoke, titling his head into your direction. 

You nodded, “Yes, I think so.” You gulped as you directed your looks on him rather than on Charles, “I don’t know if I am ready for this.” You confessed, pointing to the pile of reporters and cameramen getting ready in front of all drivers. 

Lewis patted your hand with his for comfort, “Don’t worry child, just give them what they want without telling them what that exactly is.” Hamilton spoke with a warm smile, “You will do just fine.” He assured you, gently stroking the back of your palm. 

Charles heard that and saw Lewis touching you, most of him paying attention to your voice rather than Max’s question who was standing next to him or Arthur taking his seat at Charles’ right. Damn, was Charles going to be jealous on any single man who ever so slightly touches your skin in his mere distance? He glimpsed at his little brother for a brief second, wondering if you two came in together from the hotel. It sickened him, Charles had to do something to control such thoughts, such impulses, such nerves. 

“You look nervous, are you alright?” His friend nudged, searching for any glimpse of confidence in Charles’ gaze pointed at him now but only managing to find flames and untamed fires. 

Charles nodded, “Yes, I just want this to be over as soon as possible.” He spoke, trying to find a somehow relaxed position of his body in the chair as the cameras rolled – muscles tensing up back again right after your name was called. 

“Ok, Y/N. We will start with you.” One of the reporters said, and you faced him with the fakest sweet smile you could ever pull while Charles’ jaw locked in anticipation, watching the reporter’s mouth uttering their question, “How does it feel? Taking the lead in the championship for the first time since you’ve joined Formula One?”

You shortly huffed as you awkwardly switched the position in your chair, trying to look as laid-back and unbothered as possible but failing miserably when your glare instinctually went to Charles’ face, “Like a lot of pressure.” You nervously laughed, snatching away from Charles and right back at the report, “But we can manage it, me and the team I mean.” You continued, adjusting your voice with yet another sore cough.

You and Charles were both expecting for the follow-up question to be aimed at him, and yet the reporters moved on to each other driver regarding situations on the grid. You happily smiled sincerely for the very first time during the conference when they asked Arthur and Norris about their on-going competition within the McLaren team, seeing both lightly making fun of each other and cracking jokes for the reporters. 

Charles’ smirked too, being extremely proud of his little brother for standing up for himself. Your heart lightened watching them side by side, acknowledging that the punch was long-forgotten faster than Charles’ cut healed. They were brothers, brothers do fight and yet you wanted none of the fights to be about you anymore. Arthur apologized to you for his behavior first thing in the morning after that evening, assuring you that him and Charles are thick as thieves but also that it was your job from then on to push the wake-up call. You were not sure that you were fit of that responsibility, you were not sure if Charles was able to change just because of you and nor that you wanted him to do so. 

You quite relaxed for a while in your seat up until Charles’ name was called, and tensed up right after you heard the insanity of the reporter’s question, “Charles,” He began with an amused smiled, “We know how Y/N feels about being first, but how does it feel to have your place stolen by a twenty-something years old girl?” The reporter continued with an amused and mocking tone, and the present drivers pierced him with a sharp and inquiring look while your fists clenched together with your jaw.

You silently sighed in your seat then. Not again, you thought. It was certainly not for the very first time through your career that questions with a misogynistic phase were asked, and yet you thought that after all these years during which you proved yourself worth of a man’s seat they will stop – they haven’t, and you were clearly not in the right state of mind to deal with that too. 

Lewis leaned towards you, murmuring the words not even milliseconds after the question was thrown out in the room, “Do you want me to get him out of the room?” He inquired, and you knew for sure that if you were to say yes, Hamilton would have done it, “Just say the word.” The Mercedes driver added, and you could perceptibly see one vein bursting on the man’s forehead. 

You patted Lewis’ hand, “No, let him be. It’s Leclerc’s question, after all.” You spoke, exchanging your glare from Hamilton to Charles who was fazed by the question for two seconds, then dismayingly laughed meeting your glare. 

“This is the stupidest question I have ever heard in one of these press conferences, and we all know that we’ve heard plenty.” Charles spoke, keeping his eyes on you as he answered the inquiry being unable to look at the reporter’s face feeling the annoyance starting to take a tool on him in front of everybody (again), therefore Charles needed calm in the shape of your face and sound of your mocking chuckles, “A twenty-something years old girl?” Charles wheezed after taking one short breath, charging his mind with you again rather than the foolishness of the question, “Do you call yourself a reporter?” Charles continued, snatching his glare from you on him. 

And oh boy, was that a change into his expressions. Charles’ gleaming eyes darkened as he looked straight into the man’s eyes, dominating him with a sharp glare and the switch of his pose into the chair with both of his elbows resting on his knees and a fear-provoking tilt of his head, “You were not even able to learn Y/N age, and you expect either of us to listen yet alone answer your fucking idiotic question.” Charles huffed, repulsed by every second he spent talking into the reporter’s direction, “I will just say that it was not stolen, and that Y/N passing me was nothing but fair and a reflection of her skills. If you were not to be such an ignorant asshole, perchance you could have taken your time to look at her achievements.” Charles ended, putting and emphasis on each word, “I think this is over then, please thank your amazing colleague for cutting this short.” Charles lastly spoke, addressing a short bend of apologetic signature to the other reporters in the room with a slope of his chest.

Everyone in the room went quiet as Leclerc’s spoke, and you found yourself proudly smiling. You knew that most of the male drivers shared the same opinion as Charles, and yet you were not expecting him to be fuming this much. Few drivers laughed, and the rest who were not used to Charles cutting personality and harsh ways of putting words together when angered were still stunned.

The reporters went quiet behind the cameras, and you only hoped for the one that asked the question to feel everyone’s shrill looks on his face and back – to never return in one of those conference rooms, and to never mention your name. You were not expecting an apology, no one ever apologized to you for taking you for granted and as you looked at the disbelief of the man’s face watching Leclerc, you understood that your teammates’ words worked as a personal attack to him and not as a lesson. Some men will never learn, but you were glad that the ones that stood next to you were nothing like that. Your heart jumped quite a bit, Leclerc’ taking your side weeks after declaring war on you on public television was as confusing as it was exhilarating, perfectly describing the highs and lows or your relationship with him. 

You took Charles’ example in apologizing to the other reports from leaving after you muttered, “Wait, Charles–” glare fixed on Charles lifting from the seat to leave the room with heavy pressed steps on the floor, “I am coming too.” You added, thoughtlessly lifting from your chair to join your teammate side by side, the press conference wrapping up ahead of its time now, “We are sorry.” You muttered, following Charles. 

“No,” Your teammate paused, holding the door wide open for you to pass as he gave one last look to the room, aiming the specific one who Charles managed to frighten already with the hardness of his features, “We are not sorry.” Charles added, door smashing behind the both of you.

“Stop being apologetic when it is not your fault.” Your teammate uttered being visibly still annoyed, walking now side by side with you through the exit of the accommodation, “You have done nothing wrong, and besides –” Charles paused for a bit to fling into your direction one of his cheeky winks that somehow (after all the tries) was still not perfectioned, “Storming out of a press conference was something I wanted to do for a long time.” He added, and you could not help yourself but giggle at the sight of him winking and being sogratified of storming out of the press conference as if you two stormed out from high-school class. 

Small moments like these made you be reminiscent of the sweet, darling Charles that you knew and adored. He was there, somewhere, caged in the persona of your so-called arch-nemesis. “Thank you, Leclerc.” You spoke slowing your steps.

Charles looked down at you as he was pacing his steps with yours, “I see we are back at Leclerc.” Charles shortly breathed, changing the subject right after the man saw your eyes softened because Charles knew that made him week and the man has been vulnerable enough with you around, “No need to thank me, really.” Your teammate spoke after adjusting the tone of his voice into a rougher one rather than the one you knew and loved, “I will make sure he never gets to ask questions again and that he –” Charles ranted, but your hand stopped your teammate’s arm from wiggling around him as you caught his wrist in your grip and his mouth shut – his entire body struck by your swift move. 

There was no turning back, Charles thought. Your teammate looked down at your almost clasped hands and thought about all the times in which his entire body reacted to such a mere touch. Never from another person, always because of you. There was no turning back, Charles repeated somewhere in the back of his mind. He was hooked on you, and staying away from you was not an option – not anymore. 

“Please don’t, they will make up more stories about us if you take further action. Insulting him in front of all those people was enough.” You added, fingers running down the man’s hand to gently take it into yours just for your thumb to rub the back of it, “Charles,” You paused, look up on his face seeing him all flustered due to your touch, “I am very grateful for you standing up for me in there, but I cannot just get my hopes high every single time you take my side, and touch me, and say that you want me just for them to be destroyed by your threats the following day. Therefore, you must decide. Stay by my side or not, reach my high hopes or not.”

That was what you should’ve said to Charles, and yet you were afraid of doing do frightened by the idea of pushing him away, scared even by the thought of him not daring not touch you again for as little as that was. You were not ready to lose even that, you were not ready to lose what was not even yours to begin with, Charles choosing the second option was not an option. Instead, you looked at the man’s out of this world soft emerald eyes and faintingly spoke, “Good luck this weekend, mate.” patting Charles’ back of the hand with yours, “You will need your all, we are at my home race.” You cockily spoke, steps ahead of Charles now as you were walking backwards to sustain the man’s glare until the exit. 

Charles’ corners of the mouth lifted in a smile, “No worries, I will not go easy on you just because it is your home race.” 

You clicked your tongue, “I never want you to go easy on me.” You spoke, and for a split of a moment both of you were grinning alike, “On track, I mean.” You clarified, having Charles shake his head for a little to dust off the thoughts that were wildly going through the man’s head, the same that were on yours too. 

Charles kept his word, getting the pole-position right the next day while you were on P2 right in front of your home crowd. Frustrating? Just a little bit. Exciting? A lot. Charles deserved that pole without any doubt nor question, and you were going to give your all during race day to snatch P1 from him. That was what you told the interviewers too after qualifying, Charles staying behind just to hear your post-qualifying enthusiasm and to make sure that no one was going to bother you with more stupid questions. He stood meters away from you with both arms crossed at his chest, waiting for you to finish your short interview. You amusingly gave him quite a few looks, was he your own personal guard now?

“Is passing Charles on the list of your goals tomorrow?” The interviewer asked you, perceptibly confused as well by Charles’ proximity as their glare switched from you to him, “People are wondering if there is a change into the nature of your relationship.” They added with an inquiring look and very much curious tone, watching both you and Charles exchanging one exhausted glare. This again.  

Your eyebrows twitched at the same time, the question came in reference to the events of yesterday when you two stormed out together and left all of them hanging in there, “People should be minding their own business, and leave ours alone.” You replied with a smile, seeing Charles’ face lightening up with the corner of your eye, “Also, who does not want to win their home race? So yes, my goal is passing Charles tomorrow, passing anyone really who stands in the way of bringing home a race win.” You ironically answered, and nothing could have made Charles prouder of you that two ironic and sassy answers coming one right after each other instead of answering all sweet and tamed. You were a force, everyone around you should be able to feel that – not just him. 

“Were you waiting for me?” You asked Charles, two steps away from his own now. 

He nodded, “Yes, wanted to make sure that no more stupid questions are asked.” 

You snorted with an amused huff, “Excuses,” You spoke, walking together to the garage arms almost touching, “You know that I can take care of myself.” You commented, eyes on Charles now, who was paying attention to your steps rather than you, “Just say you wanted to walk together with me to the garage. Let’s give the people what they want, without telling them too much about it.” You slyly spoke, casually slipping your arm around Charles’ as bodies tightened to each other feeling their heat, sensing their warmth, tensioning their longings and your breaths suddenly heavy. 

Charles said nothing but just playfully chuckled as the man properly offered you his arm to grab for everyone else to witness. As you were walking side by side with him, arm in arm, your fingers gently cupping his bicep, Charles was thinking that perhaps him making excuses was the truth from the beginning. That the one thing Charles craved was your company, even if that meant only walking side by side. In that moment, your teammate thought about what you told him last week. You need to stop following me in such fashion – people might think that you are in love with me or something. Charles shook his head, thinking about the fact that maybe it was the right moment to acknowledge that too instead of playing it cool for the sake of protecting his own already messed-up brain and even messed-up heart. 

“What?” You asked Charles meters away from the garage, seeing him looking down at you with some sorts of a puppy eyes that you have not seen in a while instead of the harsh glares and untamed looks. 

Confess it, confess it. Charles’ mind was spinning. We have a race tomorrow, we need to focus on that, “Nothing.” Your teammate simply lied, letting go of your arm once you reached the entrance, “I was thinking how to stay ahead of you tomorrow, you seem very determined to win.” Charles lied with a nifty grin; your teammate has not given a thought about the race at all since the taste of your skin impregned on the top of his lips. 

“I am, and I will.” You spoke, one step taken in front of him as you lifted on the tips of your feet matching the man’s high, so your eyes could sustain each other from equal ground. 

“I would like to see you try.” Leclerc intoned in a low voice, his eyes walking slowly from your eyes to your lips, wondering how many times he must envisage the taste of it before indulging in it.  

Charles gulped, and so did you. He was the one to take a step back, but not because he wanted to do so, but because Fred’s palm patted his back at the same time as the other arm wrapped around your neck to drag the both of you inside, “Disciplinary meeting now.” Fred spoke, and both you and Charles rolled your eyes at the same time, “Don’t roll your eyes at me, you caused this – both.” Your team principal spoke, shuddering his head off at both of you and Leclerc as if you were caught sharing a cigarette in the school’s backyard. 

You went to sleep the night before the race thinking about the win. It was your home race; you were leading the championship and you had never won here before. Teasing was your plan, getting close enough to him just to increase the nervousness level of the man until he fails in keeping his concentration and makes a mistake was your drill. You knew how Leclerc drove, and he knew how to keep you in the back. You had very similar driving styles, you could easily anticipate each other’s next move. That is why everyone loved to see you battling on track, to see you so close wheel to wheel you can get and who is the one to give up first. The team warned you during the afternoon to not perform any risking racing, but you and Charles had become parts of the same coin. So no, you were not going to listen. 

You never knew that your heart could beat this fast watching the red lights going off one by one. You needed to calm down, you needed to be in control of all of this. Come on, Y/N, we can do this. Leclerc blocked you for the first two laps, there was no way he was going to let you pass and you knew that. That was what helped the most, him pushing you to strive for being the best.  

Charles had developed a system since the beginning of the season when it came to racing against you. He had always thought that the person inside the car behind or ahead him was not you, but rather somebody else he had no relationship with. Once he got in the car, Charles’ memories about you outside of the track were whipped for just the right amount of time it took for him to win. And yet, now – there was something going on. The focus was not there anymore, the reflexes’ speed was cut short. You were all over his mind, like you have been for days. You, and your lips, and your skin, and your scent – everything about you. That was exactly the reason why Charles wanted to stay away, because he knew that once you start crawling underneath his skin, there was no going back. 

Your teammate managed to keep his usual cool almost half of the race, few laps after the first pitstop change. You were kept on track, leading the race now and Leclerc was on his way to dethrone you of P1. No willing to give it up just yet, you went against the strategy this time thinking that you know better (rightfully so, they fucked-up in the past quite a few times). They called you to the pits few laps after Leclerc, and yet you decided to push harder on the softs and that proved to be the wrong choice you were able to make in the spur of the moment. You figured that out too late, feeling the car underneath you not listening to your turns and choice of speed, feeling like you were losing control. 

Leclerc was informed that you were still in P1, but that you were struggling with the pace as the softs were almost gone. Charles thought about his own stubbornness, and how that reflected into your own style of driving. Oh, no, no, please don’t. Charles’ begging came a little bit too late, as you pressed the break too soon in a tight corner that ended your race right then and there due to your stubbornness and foolish mistake.  

You went out of the track in under a millisecond and the front of your car violently smashed the face. It was a light accident; you were conscious the whole time. That might have been even worse: to be aware of the spin, the crash and the impact while having to deal with the immediate effect of your own stupidity. 

Red flag was implied right away (huge chunks of your car flying to the track), and marshals hurried to your car, but you were too shocked to get out of your car on your own. Thus, you stood there with your hands into your lap processing what just happened, what you just had done. Dangerous or not, you were not able to move an inch. 

Arms went around your armpits seconds later, pulling you out of the car with ease. Your heart was pounding, your head was spinning, and your lungs blocked. It was a panic attack, and what confused you even more was that you were not able to understand what triggered it: you had accidents before, you have been into larger crashes than this – why were you left out of your breathing now? 

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” A voice brought you back to reality, “It’s me.” They spoke, and that was for the very first time where you could grasp something out of the reality rather than was what going on into your chest and mind, “Take my hand, we need to get you away from the car now.” The voice spoke in a demanding tone, far different from the softness of the touch that you recognized right away as their hands guided yours out of the car and back with your feet on the ground.

“Oh my god,” You breathlessly spoke, “Charles—” You paused, your lungs opening for the first time in whole minutes, and for you to breath normally from the moment of pressing that bloody brake, “I thought you were a marshal.” You confusedly stated, having no other idea what to say as Charles was dragging you away from the car. 

“They are on their way; do you need an ambulance?” Charles assured you, tightening his grip around your forearm to sustain your body weight leaned on him.

You declined with a nod, deciding to walk on your own as you became even more aware of your surroundings. People shouting, clapping, and most of them silent as they were not able to comprehend your teammate’s action in real time. Charles himself was not able to comprehend his actions. He acted on his emotions rather than his judgment. Charles saw the crash from behind, and his mind drowned in the worst-case scenarios as you were not moving from your seat.

Drivers in between the two of you slowed down their cars, and yet Charles knew that he had to stop – that was exactly what he did. Leaving the car right on track and running to you in a heartbeat, being the first one to arrive close to the scene. Charles saw your chest lifting in quick and heavy breath while your limbs were not moving, understanding what was going on. He needed to play it safe, he needed not to startle you – and he needed to act fast.

Charles heart broke at the sight of you, and the sound of your cracked voice. He knew what was going through your mind, and he would have wished to take all your thoughts and bottle them for you. It was impossible to do so tough, and you had to deal with the consequences of your own mistakes. Those thoughts came later into your mind, eating you up alive, after Charles made sure that you were safe and bought for a quick check-up. You fucked up, greatly so. Charles was not allowed to join the restart of the race after the car was purposely left empty on the track, and now your home race has been left with no one from your team to win. 

You gulped as you went to the garage, Fred and Charles chatting, your teammate noticing you right away although they were engaged in a heated-up conversation about how wrong was FIA for not letting him race after the restart, “I see their point,” Charles stated with one hand going through his already messed-up hair, “I just do—” He stopped, eyes meeting yours. 

“I am fine.” You assured him right away, putting your palm up in the air to delimit the distance between you and a very hasty Charles coming towards you, “Thank you, but I am fine.” You nudged, neither you nor Charles believing the last words, “Let no one in my room until the end of the race.” You demanded; eyes still fixed on Charles, but words directed to your manager who was worryingly staring at you. 

“Y/N, we need to –” Fred spoke, but was interrupted by the back of Charles’ hand on his chest as the two men witnessed you leaving the garage in detriment of your empty room where no one could ask you questions about your mistakes. 

“Let her be for a moment, you can talk with her about this later – now it is not the moment.” Charles added, and immediately followed you out of the garage.

Yes, Charles knew that you wanted to be alone after such a missed home race, but he also knew that you needed a friend, and he was not going to ask somebody else to do it now. So, after you violently smashed your door and let all the pressure on your shoulder pressed down your body crashing on the little sofa in the corner of your mother-home where all you wanted was to bawl your eyes out, you heard Charles’ voice softly resounding at the other side of the door along with wary little knocks. 

“It’s me, Y/N.” 

It’s him, it’s him, of course it’s him. Your heart jumped, you still had to process the thought of Charles Leclerc deliberately messing up one of his races to help you, to make sure that you were safe, to get you out of the dark. And yet, that only added to your guilt and resentment – you were not ready to talk about that with him nor the team, you were not ready to admit that what you did was wrong, and that you were slowly yet surely getting eaten up alive by your own greediness. 

 “Please don’t, Charles.” You spoke, lifting from the sofa and going back closer to the door through which you exchanged words with him having to speak quite loudly for the other to hear the voice, “I am extremely grateful for what you did, but I am not in the mood for talking now – like I told Fred, I will be explaining my—” 

“You don’t have to explain it to me,” Charles paused with a heavy heart, “I just came to let you know that I am aware of how that feels, and that if you need to—” He paused again, but not because he was unable to find the perfect words, but because the door in front of him clicked and he found your teary eyes behind it as you cracked open a little. 

“Why did you get out of the car, Charles? And why are you here now?” You questioned him through the crack, peering his look with yours, “I want answers, not excuses.” You continued, fully opening the door now for him to step in. 

Charles heavy breathed underneath your glare; because I am in love with you. Your teammate continued to stare at you without an answer, “I was worried, you were not moving in or from the car and I thought that something really bad was about to happen to you and I couldn’t just stand by and I—” Charles finally replied in a mouthful, feeling his stomach-turning upside down for telling just half-truth, thinking that he might combust if he tells you the whole thing now. I was worried because I am in love with you, intensely and irremediably so. 

You heard the nervousness into the man’s tone, “I am incredibly sorry that they didn’t allow you to continue.” You added, body leaning against the doorframe close to Charles who halfway stepped into the room. 

Charles shook his head, one of his palms went on your cheeks to wipe the dried tears in the corners of your eyes that you were not even able to feel up until the feverishness of Charles’ skin collapsed into yours, “I told you before, stop being apologetic when it is not your fault.” He added, closing the door behind him as he pushed you into the room as well with his palm still covering half of your face while his lips leaned towards yours in the movement of your bodies, “I choose to leave the car – the responsibility is mine.” Charles nudged, leaning his body on the now closed door and departing his palm from your face, “Do you want to not talk about this anymore and get out of here?” Charles inquired, explaining the plan right after the very first sign of confusion sprung on your face, eyebrows shuddering up, “We are sneaking in while the race is still on, no one will notice us leaving if we play our cards right.” 

You wanted to decline the offer at first, and yet you felt heavily suffocated by the thin walls that caged you, “And do what?” You questioned, Charles pointing to the keys of your car that stood on the table behind you. 

“It’s your home race, after all. Let’s keep the festivities going.” He then smirked, picking them up as he leaned over your shoulder, “I am driving, tough.” Charles winked; words spoken close enough to your ear for your spine to shiver viciously. 

You followed Charles out of the garage, taking careful turns for people to not stop you from your little escapade plan, and that is when you figured out that you would follow that man everywhere with all your trust.

You were not even remotely being enemies, just two frightened high school acting like pricks too frightened to admit what was really going on: that you would risk your races, championships, and everything in between just to make sure that the other one is alright. 

[phoneuserhana333]

.°˖✧ part 2/3: neighbor!doctor!abby / neighbor!producer!reader headcanons .°˖✧

tags: arguing, enemies to lovers, sick!reader, sleepy!abby, yelling on the street, reader’s ex gf, implied doing the deed VAGUELY in like one sentence, more to be added

there will be only ONE more part of this lil story, since i’m afraid of dragging it on for too long!! i might write smth more abt ellie/dina/jesse in this au, but that’ll be it i think! i’ll be starting a smau soon tho :>

PART1 — PART3 — NSFWHC — N(SFW)HC

• after that first awful meeting, abby was ready to give you a piece of her mind. later that day, after a hectic day at work amplified her irritation, she couldn’t hold back.

• she knocked on your door, red-eyed and raging, just hoping to get the conversation over with before she could finally rest in the comfort of her home.

• on the other hand, you were nervous; you cleaned your entire house, took one of those tiring ‘everything showers’ and got dressed in a casual but put together outfit, hoping your mysterious blonde neighbor would appreciate it

• your first mistake was thinking abby would be softened by a cute outfit and some vanilla candles

• abby wasn’t impressed at all. she thought your lilac baby tee was too tight and that your perfume was too sweet. you were annoyingly artistic and carefree in her eyes, unserious to a fault. all the traits that she’d been taught to look down on

• so naturally, she chewed you up and spat you out.

“you need to start being more thoughtful, you aren’t living in the middle of a forest with nobody around!”

“and these parties? do you have to play the music that loud?! and who even are those people?!”

“don’t get me started on the singing and the overplayed songs you always go for. what do you even do for work?!”

• that was the drop that overfilled the cup and made the coquettish gaze you were sending your hot neighbor turn cold. complaining for ten minutes non stop about your loudness wasn’t an issue. in fact, you were planning on dialing it down for the cute, frustrated doctor.

• but coming after you job? the thing you were extremely passionate about? no way you’d let that slide.

“what the fuck is your problem, huh?!”

“… my problem?!”

• and so the two of you kept arguing on the street for the next forty minutes, neither side letting up, until the couple that lived next to you peeked their heads out the window and yelled at you to quiet down, ironically enough.

• abby eyed you one last time, disheveled and agitated. she brushed loose blonde hairs out of her face and pulled her keys out, walking over to the steps that lead to her house.

• you were pouting; this didn’t go as planned. you watched as she unlocked the door, her unforgiving gaze meeting you one last time before she left you with a final statement for the night, before she slammed her front door hard enough to shake both of your homes

“you better be quiet from now on. or else.”

• you obviously didn’t care at all what abby thought after this… interesting meeting, so you decided to be louder than before (if that was even possible)

• the following week consisted of the same old routine, over and over again. you would play the piano loudly, sing late into the night and invite friends over (even an ex girlfriend, making sure to moan extra loud that night)

• which annoyed abby to no end, of course. she calmed down to the best of her abilities, and decided to look at her options. she could call the police, but that was too far. you were still neighbors and she didn’t want to risk getting a bad reputation with other neighborhood residents. and talking to you didn’t help at all.

• so she settled on writing notes. every morning before leaving for work, blondie would leave a passive aggressive message taped to your front door, smirking as she did.

• she knew they would annoy you since she made sure to make them related to your job or your music taste or whatever she thought would make your blood boil.

• but you were unbothered and patient, choosing to save the notes in a box under your bed. all of then made rounds in various group chats since you were complaining to everybody and their mother that your neighbor (now known as abigail) was the worst.

• what made you show up at abby’s door was a message that read: “maybe you should learn how to sing before doing it this late. much love, your next door neighbor abigail”

• you didn’t find this note. however, your ex did, showing it to you as she laughed at how silly it was. you played along, laughing as embarrassment ate at your pride slowly.

• it’s safe to say that rekindling your romance with said ex didn’t go well

• that night, you slammed your balled up fists on abby’s door, ready to take action against her pushing your buttons with these notes. being embarrassed in the comfort of your own presence was different than being teased by someone you dated in the past

• abby opened the door, groggy and hollow eyed. she was wearing a dark blue pajama set, silken and fitted, and she had her neatly brushed hair let down. she’s still so prim and proper, even when she’s sleeping, you think

“whaddya need, sweetheart?”

• the way abby spoke made you feel like your brain became scrambled. sweetheart?! where did that come from?! you quickly snapped back from your dazed gaze set on her lips and retorted:

“what’s up with these notes, huh?!”

“they got you to stop, didn’t they? you’ve been awfully quiet all day today, unlike whatever you attempted to do last night.”

• you heated up from humiliation once again- so she did hear you and your ex! you stumble over words, crossing your arms defensively as you looked away, which gave abby enough time to rub the sleep out of her tired eyes

“keep up with the quietness and we might even get along. is that all for tonight?”

• you let out an annoyed ‘hmph!’ and ran back to your door, sending abby a heated gaze as you yelled a ‘goodnight!’ over your shoulder. the blonde shrugged and went back inside, unaffected and ready to sleep. you, on the other hand, started up with your noisy nighttime routine of trying to write the perfect song; you even opened the windows to make sure your neighbor heard you.

• and so, this routine continued on for the next few days; you would open all the windows, sing loudly, play music at full volume, hell- you even banged pots and pans just to get your point across

• who did she think she was, telling you to be quiet in your own home?!

• abby kept up with her newfound tradition of leaving you notes, some long and some short. she prayed you wouldn’t pop up around the corner; facing you head on was a tad intimidating to her, but she would never admit that it was because of your attractive face and soothing singing voice. so, naturally, she kept complaining to her friends when they went out for coffee and rolled her eyes whenever she’d hear you sneeze loudly though the walls you shared.

• but then, much to abby’s delight, the crescendo next door stopped completely. the woman went on with her routine, choosing to ignore the eerie silence she was met with every day since last week. were you even alive?

• she noted that you weren’t picking up her daily warnings either, and they had piled up on your doorstep after the fourth day of the absence of noise. on the fifth day, abby received an unexpected knock on her door.

• opening it revealed you, much to her surprise. snotty, sweaty, in a tiny t-shirt and a pair of suede shorts in late november new york cold, shaking as you tried to clear your throat.

• for the fist time since you two met, abby felt her heart squeeze because of some tight, uncomfortably soft and fuzzy feeling. a mixture of pity and the urge to coo at your sickly appearance bubbled up and made her gulp- had you always been this… helpless? meek?

• … cute?

• all of these thoughts that crawled their way into abby’s head were solidified with one nasally question asked by you:

“… do you have any tylenon?”