#sorry again to people who have sent me asks. i will answer eventually when my brain is feeling less foggy

[heartless-aro]

What does it mean to feel romantic attraction?

The reason that it’s so difficult to know whether you’re aro or not isn’t just because it’s hard to verify the lack of something. It’s also, at least in part, because romance is an often vaguely defined social construct. It’s pretty much impossible to pin down an objective definition of romantic attraction without that definition being somewhat circular (“romantic attraction is when you are attracted to someone in a way that makes you want to do romantic things with them”), because the boundaries between romance and non-romantic feelings are indistinct and they twist and overlap in odd ways, so that people don’t always seem to agree where one ends and the other begins.

That isn’t to say that romance doesn’t exist or that there aren’t differences between the experiences of alloromantic and aromantic people, but different people and different cultures understand romance a bit differently, so there isn’t really a clear line that separates “romantic feelings” from “non-romantic feelings.” It’s a bit like how a lot of people (especially questioning trans, non-binary, and genderqueer folks) have trouble knowing if they “feel like a girl/guy/both/neither/etc.” What does being one gender or another feel like? What does romance feel like?

I think one of the hardest things about figuring out whether or not you’re aromantic is that no one else can tell you whether your feelings are romantic or not. You have to decide for yourself whether the concept of romantic attraction feels useful for categorizing your experiences and, if so, to what extent? You have to decide for yourself whether you feel that your experiences align with the normative experiences of alloromantic people. “Aromantic” means that you feel little to no romantic attraction, but how little counts as little? What counts as romantic attraction? These sort of things are so easy to get caught up in if you’re questioning whether or not you’re aromantic, but I think the real question to ask yourself is how much you can relate to alloromantic society? Do you connect to the idea of romantic attraction and experience romantic attraction often enough to feel included in alloromantic society, or do your experiences in relation to romantic attraction make you feel unusual, out of place, othered, or alienated by society at large? Do you relate more to the experiences of alloromantic people, or to the aromantic community?

[inkbybambi]

best friend!simon riley picking you up from a bad date —

words: 2.2k rating: nothing explicit apart from a brief mention of sex, just some light angst and comfort. my blog is 18+ so minors please dni. warning: hurt/comfort, fluff, pet names, insecurity/doubt/worry, mentions of sex, simon is the softie we all know he is notes: originally written for @ghosts-cyphera ♡ we all need a bestfriend!simon in our lives who's so sweet and gentle with us.

One thing you love about Simon — besides everything — is how reliable he is. Strong, steadfast, there when you need him. Even when he’s not physically there — his work taking him away for weeks or even months at a time — you find yourself reading over the messages he’s sent, the little sticky notes he’s left, whatever memento you’ve kept of him tucked away in the drawer in your bedside table.

Not that you’ll tell him that.

You hate asking him for favors — asking anyone for favors, really, but him especially. Whenever you ask someone for help, it's always accompanied by a long-suffering sigh or a roll of the eyes or some very clear indication that they'd rather do anything else.

Except for Simon.

Which is why you're hesitant to ask him more than you absolutely need to. You don't want to push your luck too far, less he eventually tires of you as well.

Losing people hurts, always assuming it's you that caused the problem. You've come to accept this, even if the dark feelings of being too much or a burden claw at the edges of your mind.

But losing Simon? You don't think you'd ever get over that.

It's just after 9pm, the sky dark and clouds threatening, with thunder rumbling steadily in the sky. Your hand shakes as you fumble your phone from your pocket, trying to hold tears at bay as you scroll through your contacts.

Your call log is all Simon.

Some appointments here and there, but Simon everywhere else.

Fuck.

You hiccup, the tears spilling from your eyes as the sky finally opens up, joining you in your mourning.

You don't have any other choice, really, so you click his number before you can talk yourself out of it and walk home instead, bringing it up to your ear as it rings.

He answers before the third ring.

"I'm so sorry to bother you," you sniffle into the phone, before he has a chance to say anything. You take in a sharp breath, blood turning to ice. "Am i bothering you?" you sound so meek and small and tired. “No, dove, you’re not,” comes his calm, reassuring voice. You’re only half-convinced.

"I'm sorry," you begin again. Your heart falls to your stomach, convincing yourself that this is his final straw. You're overtaken by a wave of nausea, despite not having eaten anything since lunch. "I didn't know who else to call, and I lost my tram pass, and I don't have an umbrella, and — "

“Dove,” he says, his accent soothing to your ears — he's so endlessly patient and kind. You ache.

"I can just walk home, I-I'm sorry," you whimper out, unable to stop the tears blurring your vision, feeling pathetic and weak and so, so alone. “Darling,” he says, a little stern. Not angry, never angry. Trying to focus you. “What’s wrong?”

“U-um, my date stood me up,” you sniff, swallowing hard. "I waited an hour," you mumble, looking to your shoes. "Messaged him too, y'know. He just. Didn't show."

You think you hear Simon curse over the line and your heart lurches, feeling like you're about to be sick. “Where are you?”

There's a rustle of fabric, the clink of keys, the heel of his boot walking across his floor. You manage to tell him the name of the restaurant, voice cracking. “Twenty minutes,” he says, and you’re about to protest but he beats you to it. “Sit there and be good and patient and I’ll pick you up, yeah?”

"Okay," you whisper in agreement, before the line clicks dead and you allow yourself to cry, huddling under the awning as some protection from the rain, now coming down in thick, sharp waves.

Thirteen minutes later, the headlights of his truck shine through the dark, pulling up to the curb. You make a mad dash for the passenger door, still getting drenched in the process.

You can't even look at him, hands shaking as you buckle the belt, trying to make yourself as small as possible.

He says your name gently. You take in a shuddering breath and let it out just as shaky, looking over towards him. He's wearing his balaclava, but his eyes — even in the dark, you can make out his beautiful eyes. Assessing you, worrying.

"I'm sorry," you croak out. You can't help it. It's burned into your tongue, driven into your mind to make him understand you didn't want to bother him. He doesn't have to forgive you, but as long as he knows, that's enough.

"Love," he says, and there's... something in his voice, as he reaches over for your hand, holding it gently in his own. His eyes never leave yours. "'m never gonna be mad about you askin' for help." Your eyes flit away, but he squeezes your hand and you reluctantly look back. "You know me better than that," he says, as if he can read the treacherous thoughts swirling in your head, drowning you and making it hard to breathe.

You can only nod, not trusting your voice at the moment. He hums, bringing the back of your hand up to graze his covered lips over the back, pulling out to drive you back.

"This is your flat," you say, fifteen minutes later as he shuts the car off. You were too busy looking at the window, watching the rain drops race down the glass, to notice that he wasn't driving the familiar route to your place.

"Yes," he replies, as if it's obvious he'd bring you here. "You really think I'd let you stay home alone?"

His eyes are so fucking bright. It startles you, and you hate how your heart twists and thumps at how intently he's looking.

"I..." you start, chewing on your bottom lip for a moment. His eyes flicker to your lips, snapping away just as quick. "I was gonna eat ice cream and drink shitty, cheap wine," you say.

"As if I don't have either of those things here," he replies, opening the door and effectively ending the conversation. You scramble after him, eager to be inside in the warmth and burrow yourself into his couch.

"Go get changed," he says, voice clear as he removes the balaclava and bends to untie his shoes.

You hesitate for a second, until he looks up to you and there's that something lingering in his gaze — the same something that was in his voice.

"Go on now," he repeats, softer, and you ditch your shoes and your uncomfortably wet jacket by his.

His flat is as familiar as your own — you could walk through it blindfolded at night and you wouldn't knock into a single thing.

Well.

You might knock into a corner or two, but that's not a vision thing. It's a you're a bit clumsy thing. Simon finds it endlessly amusing, poking at the bruises that blossom on your skin while you bat his hand away.

His bedroom is familiar as well. Which is why you don't think twice before you're shimmying out of your clothes — undergarments as well — and rifling through his drawers, finding your favorite shirt of his and a pair of his boxers.

You take a moment to smell the collar, taking comfort in the scent that lingers. You’ve been dressed in his clothes many times before this but it feels different this time.

As you pad back out to the living room, Simon’s already on the couch. Your favorite blanket is draped across his lap, two bowls of ice cream and a bottle of cheap wine sitting open, glasses filled far more than you would’ve. You’ll indulge him, mostly because you have the sneaking suspicion that he’ll have you sleep here anyways.

His balaclava is off. The last dregs of tension drain from you as he looks over to you, face soft in the lowlight of the lamp, tv ready with a show you’ve watched a thousand times that he watches with you without complaint.

“Knew you’d choose that one,” he says with a bit of a smirk as you crawl on the couch, burrowing yourself into his side, his arm slinging across the back of the cushion.

“Am I that predictable?” you mumble, a small thank you as he hands you a bowl.

He doesn’t answer, but you feel the burn of his stare before he snorts, flicking the tv to start playing, the familiar theme relaxing you further.

The silence with him is comfortable, lingering in a hazy in-between of awake and sleep, empty bowls and mostly empty glasses sitting on the coffee table.

“Were you going to fuck him?” he asks, three episodes in, bottle empty.

You blink, not sure if you heard him properly as you pull back to look at him. You can’t read his eyes. Something hot twists in your gut.

“I-I don’t know, Simon,” you start, the weight of his stare heavy. “Maybe?”

He doesn’t say anything and you chew your lip for a moment, fingers curling to play with the blanket. “Depends how the date went, I suppose. Doesn’t matter much now,” you snort. His gaze hasn’t changed. “Why?”

His jaw clicks, taking a deep breath. “You deserve better ‘n that.”

A confused frown pulls at your mouth, unsure how to reply. “I know how to be safe,” you tell him, voice soft.

He seems to be weighing his words in his head, lowering the volume of the show. You feel sick.

Dark eyes rove over your face, taking in every minute detail. You bite at your nail, just for something to do.

“Don’t think there’s a bloke in the world that’s worthy of ya.”

Your frown deepens, breaking your eyes from his, twisting your fingers in your lap. Relationships aren’t easy. Being that vulnerable with someone isn’t easy.

You never want someone to pay for you, and even the smallest gestures like opening the car door or pulling out your chair feel like it’s too much. You don’t deserve that kind of attention. After a while, they’ll get tired. You’ll become a burden to them like everything else in your life.

It’s easier to be by yourself. The only person you have to worry about bothering is you.

“Love.” He tilts his head, eyes trying to catch yours. How hasn’t he gotten tired of you yet?

A hand under your chin forces your gaze up, and you try to shrink yourself against the back of the couch. Your voice catches in your throat, words stuck there.

“What’s goin’ on in tha’ pretty head f’yours?”

You swallow thickly, finding it damn near impossible to keep your eyes on his.

“‘s not like it matters,” you start. his brows furrow, but he stays silent. “No one would want me anyways.”

“‘n why would you say that?”

Frustration burns the back of your throat. Isn’t it obvious? You can barely call him in a dire situation without thinking the worst of yourself. How can he think of you as anything but a nuisance? How could he think anyone else would put up with it?

“You wouldn’t understand,” you say, defeated. You crumble back into the couch.

“Make me understand.”

Heat flashes at the nape of your neck. He takes your hands in his, cradling them in his warmth. Your name sounds so soft in his voice.

“How aren’t you tired of me?” comes your whispered question, nose tingling and eyes threatening to water. You look at him. Hesitant. Scared.

The silence is loud. His own frown deepens. It takes a few painful minutes, but you see the moment something clicks in place.

“You know I’d do anything for you, yeah?”

Your lip quivers, sniffling as you beg yourself not to cry.

“Because you do the same for me,” he continues. You doubt it, mind going blank of every time he’s come to you for something.

His touch moves to your elbow, tugging you forward gently until he can arrange you in his lap. He slips his hands beneath the hem of his shirt, thumbs rubbing on your hips just above the waistband of his boxers.

You slowly brace your hands on his shoulders. Firm and broad and safe.

“You apologize so much. You worry so much.” the tears slip down your cheeks, throat aching, but now you can’t look away from him. One hand moves to cup the nape of your neck, thumb rubbing gently at the skin behind your ear.

“You’re allowed to ask for help.”

You shake your head, a no caught in your throat, tears blurring your vision.

“Oh, love.” He cradles you into the curve of his neck, arm wrapping around your waist and keeping a gentle hold at the base of your skull. “You have me wrapped around your finger ‘n you don’t even know it.”

He lets you cry into his neck, dampening the collar of his shirt. His cologne is soothing and you eventually slump against him. You’re so tired.

His lips graze your temple, his soft touch lulling you to sleep. You’ll talk about it tomorrow, but for now you want to stay wrapped up in his arms, held by someone who genuinely loves you.

[thesunisatangerine]

against all odds (to wait for you is all i can do) – part nine

alexia putellas x photojournalist!reader

warnings: mentions of grief, suggestive material, hurt/comfort

(a/n in the tags) [parts: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve]

word count: 6.6k

words in italics: whatever language you like

Before this misunderstanding could get any bigger, you stepped in quickly. 

“Alexia, this is Elisa, my daughter and that’s my brother’s husband, Robert. Elisa, Robert, this is Alexia.”

At that, Alexia’s gaze softened but when she met your eyes, questions swam in those hazel pools, ones that you sensed concerned your daughter. You gave Alexia a tight-lipped smile in answer–this was neither the time nor place to talk about something like that. 

“Oh, I see. It’s nice to meet you both,” Alexia spoke in English.

She walked closer to the stands to where Robert stood and reached out a hand for him to shake. Robert–who finally got some of his color back after Alexia stopped leering at him–regarded Alexia’s hand with an uneasy look like it was something dangerous before he eventually shook it. Then Alexia turned to Elisa and offered her a closed fist while your daughter only gawked at Alexia, obviously starstruck. “And it’s nice to meet you, too, Elisa.”

Elisa remained still and unusually quiet so you coaxed softly, “ladybug?”

That seemed to snap Elisa out from her starstruck stupor and as she came back to herself, her eyes darted to you. You smiled at her, encouraging, then you tilted your head at Alexia’s direction. Slowly, Elisa bumped her fist against Alexia’s, cheeks reddening immediately as she scurried off behind Robert right after, peeking through the gap between her uncle’s hip and arm to look at Alexia shyly. 

“Do you want me to sign your shirt?”

Elisa nodded. Robert passed the shirt to Alexia, who signed it, before she passed it back to Robert.

“Thank you,” came Elisa’s bashful gratitude.

When your eyes flitted back to Alexia’s face, you found her brows tilted upwards which allowed the stadium lights to brighten her already fair eyes. She looked on at Elisa’s timid display with warmth and the sight of such softness in her demeanour tugged at your heartstring. 

Without tearing her attention away from Elisa, Alexia said through a small smile, “she’s adorable, no?”

“She’s a little shy but she’s actually a big fan of yours. You should see her practicing your moves–”

“Mom…” Elisa whined, stopping you from embarrassing her further. You sent her an apologetic smile before you mouthed an ‘I’m sorry’ to her.

“Oh, you play football? How old are you?” Alexia asked softly. 

After  a moment of silence, you took the helm when you noticed Elisa wasn’t going to answer. Her reaction to Alexia was completely understandable. Alexia, despite being one of the warmest people you knew, could easily intimidate some with her presence due to her reserved and stoic nature. Her gaze–especially for the ones who were new to meet her–could be so intense and disarming that it was hard not to look away or, in this case, shy away from her.

“She turned twelve last February. And yes, she’s actually enrolled in a Barça Academy located near our city.”

Alexia’s brows rose with interest. She regarded Elisa again as she spoke, switching to Spanish this time, with clear approval in her tone. “So she has Blaugrana in her blood. What position does she play?”

“Barça is by far her favorite club and it doesn’t help that you play in it. And she plays forward.” You answered in the same tongue. 

Alexia hummed, the corner of her lips quirking up. You knew that look so when she turned back to you, you raised a brow at her.

“What? Disappointed she doesn’t play midfield like you?” 

She flashed you a sheepish half-smile and rubbed her cheek with a finger, a gesture that you still found so endearing, before she threw her hands up in false surrender. “I’m just saying! And you can’t really blame me for having a bias.” 

“No, of course not. How could I hold that against you?” You said in an excessively dry tone. What you didn’t expect was for Alexia to throw her head back as laughter bubbled out from her throat in a familiar melody that tickled your ear, and you couldn’t help the grin that made its way to your lips at her amusement. She looked so beautiful like this: her hair–now back to its light brown shade–untamed with the way baby strands clung to the slight dampness on her temple, and the rosy blush painted upon her cheeks and nose from the events that just occurred; she looked so carefree in this moment, in the aftermath of their victory, that the glow of her youth shone right through, unfiltered.

When your eyes flitted over to Elisa and Robert, you found them gaping at your interaction with wide eyes, looking very much unsure on what to make of it. Then you also realised Alexia’d stopped laughing and she was now looking at you with a small smile on her lips. Your cheeks warmed at the attention, at having been caught staring, so you casted your eyes down to your feet, clearing your throat as you kicked an invisible pebble.

It surprised you, the ease with which you were able to fall back in playful banter with Alexia as if the fifteen months that made strangers from the both you never existed. Alexia must’d thought the same thing because when you looked at her again, Alexia’s smile had dimmed somewhat but the warmth in her eyes never left.

“Congratulations on the win, by the way. You earned it. All of you did.” You said, indicating at the golden medal around her neck. The urge to hug her as you spoke pervaded you but you managed to brush it off. 

Alexia looked down at it, her lips quirking up into a small proud smile.

“Thank you.” A pause as she regarded you. And then, “want to hold it?”

The suggestion took you aback and you were quick to dismiss her. “Oh, no, I’m good–”

Alexia, being Alexia, stepped into you space anyway, took your right hand and placed the medal on your palm. You tried not to focus too much on how her touch electrified you by focusing on how the surface of the metal cooled your skin, its weight surprisingly heavier than it looked, and you traced its intricate engravings with the pads of your fingers, admiring the details. 

“Can we talk?” Alexia said in a low voice that only the both of you would be able to hear. She was standing less than an arm’s length away from you–when did she get so close?–and the softness you found in her hazel eyes when you gazed up at her made you want to reach out and brush your thumb over the skin beneath them. 

At your silence Alexia touched your right wrist and you felt her thumb grazed ove the bracelet she gave you. Her gaze was magnetic and you were powerless against her pull.

You began, “I–”

“Alexia! Come on, we have to go!” Both of your heads turned to the voice. It was Misa who was waving Alexia over to where their other teammates were gathering. Alexia gave Misa a gesture to wait and she looked back at you again but with desperation now in her eyes. 

“Go. I’ll be in Barcelona for a week starting next Thursday. We can talk sometime then?” 

Alexia nodded, gave you a small smile before she turned to walk away. She startled you when she faced you again and before you knew it, her arms were wrapped around your shoulders.

“Same place?” She whispered in your ear.

You snaked your arms around her waist. 

“You know where to find me.”

So it was then on this late, warm Friday evening in Barcelona the week after the Olympics final, you found yourself opening the door to Alexia. 

You had agreed to meet the next day for lunch so it was more than a surprise to you to find her under the warm glow of the porch light right then. And before a word could even leave your mouth to voice your confusion, Alexia strode into your space, crowding you until your back hit the cool surface of the wall next to the door as it swung close.

Alexia was in front of you now, the distance between you so sparse that you could feel the heat that emanated from her body. You stared up at her, breathless when you were finally able to speak, “Alexia–”

“Are you seeing someone right now?” Her tone was even though the crease in her brows and the fervid depth in her eyes made you shiver.

“Wait, what are–”

“Just answer me!”

“No! Why–”

Before you knew it, her hand cradled your jaw as she brought her lips to yours, and the only thing you could do was gasp from the sudden heat of it all. It was filled with such ardour, Alexia’s kiss, that each movement of her lips threatened to both destroy and mend you again, each pull as devastating and as sweet as the last. But the sweetness didn’t last long; not after you felt the warmth against your cheeks and tasted salt on your tongue.

Alexia was crying.

She was aching, you knew it–could feel it in the slight quiver of her lips, in the frantic way with which her fingers tangled in your hair. And from her pain came yours, unfurling from your heart, into your throat, longing–reaching–to comfort and be soothed by her, your almost lover. Though it hurt, it made your teeth ache with the bittersweetness of it all because here she was breathing the same air as you, sharing the same heat as her lips melted with yours, and, god, how it felt like coming home–like the first breath once you breached the surface after being submerged for so long.

Was this what it felt like to be exhumed? Was this what life tasted like?

The kiss was slow and deep, the way only two almost lovers knew how to; the both of you took your time mapping each other’s lips, learning how to move in the same rhythm again. It was familiar but the tenderness–that gentle ardour–was above all else amplified, warming your flesh and blood to a delicate simmer. 

You sighed against Alexia’s lips as you pressed your body further into her, and in response she to you, and you relished how in spite of the strength that rested beneath the firmness of her self, everything about her remained, oh, so soft. And it was this want for more closeness that prompted you to tighten the grip around her hand that cupped your jaw, an unspoken plea for her to not let go–to not let you go.

How had you gone on for so long without her touch?

A familiar scream ruptured the silence, shattering the moment instantly.

It was automatic and immediate your reaction to it: you tore yourself from Alexia’s embrace and rushed towards Elisa’s bedroom, ignoring the way your vision blurred from the sudden exertion, your lungs protested as you hurried up the stairs. You were already expecting it but like all the times you were faced with it, your heart broke all the same at the sight of Elisa sitting up by the headboard of her bed, spine crooked as she curled in on herself, head lowered to the top of her knees while her hands pressed against her ears. Upon your intrusion, she lifted her head to reveal wide eyes that darted to you, frantic at first, but the apprehension in them dimmed when she saw you. 

You tried to compose yourself as you approached her slowly, before you placed yourself just by the edge of her bed.

Gently, you called out, “ladybug?”

Not a second later did Elisa throw herself into your embrace and immediately hid her face in the crook of your neck, her hands clawing and gripping at the fabric of your shirt while her sobs made rattles from her bones. All of her self was tense, taught and coiled, her pain’s physical manifestation–all the intangible grief violently wrought into existence. 

Elisa clung to you as she cried and you could do nothing in the moment but offer comfort through your embrace, hugging her just as tight, brushing back her hair–consoling–as you began a common lullaby in her mother tongue, rocking her to its gentle rhythm in the hopes that it could salve the wounds of her past even a little. 

In her own time, Elisa emerged from the throes of her grief, her grip on your soaked shirt loosened, her sobs now reduced to hiccups and sniffles. You carded your fingers through her damp hair and wiped the sweat that lined her forehead.

As softly as you could, you whispered, “want to talk about it, ladybug?”

Elisa didn’t answer as she seemed to gather herself, gnawing on her lower lips, brows creased in a pained frown. You were about to remind her that she didn’t have to when she answered in a voice so small that made the rawness in it all the more pronounced. 

“I saw Mother’s… I saw her dead beside me again.” She cuddled closer to you before she continued, “it’s always been her but when I looked this time I–”

Fresh tears sprung to her eyes, they fell when she squeezed them shut, and your heart broke a little more. You were quick to hug her tighter, pressing a kiss on the top of her head to console her. Elisa sniffled then she continued, “this time I–I saw you instead. I saw you dead.”

Elisa whimpered and she clung to you again.

“Oh, ladybug. That must have been difficult to see.” You hugged her tighter. “Were you scared?”

Nod. 

“What were you scared of?”

Silence. 

“I was scared because I thought I was alone again. I was scared you left me, too.”

Her answer made you pause and you regarded her, your worry now twofold. 

“What else do you feel, Elisa?”

“I don’t know,” Elisa shrugged. She pressed a fist to her chest, “but it hurts right here. I hate it. I want it to disappear. Why does it still hurt so much?” 

The state of her pained you enough as it was but how much more agonising this must be for Elisa? So you pressed your temple on her head as you began, soft but firm when the words passed through your lips. 

“It aches so it’s not surprising you want it to go away. And you hate it because it stays with you. And it hurts because you’re still grieving, Elisa. A year may feel like a long time but what happened to you is not an easy thing to move on from. You’re still trying to heal.” 

“If there is part of you that’s telling you it’s your fault your family died, I want you to remember that it isn’t. It isn’t your fault. You were so loved, Elisa, and you loved them just as much. And you still are loved.”

“I won’t leave you. As long as we’re here–your Uncle Derek, Uncle Robert, Nana, and I–as long as you want us to be, we’ll be your family and we love you. And death might come for all of us, and it is scary, terrifying and painful most times, but our love will never fade. The love given to you and the love that made you, they will never leave you, Elisa. Love comes and goes, and it may change its form, but it is never lost. You’re right here with me and you’re safe, and I love you. You’re never alone, ladybug, don’t you ever forget that.”

Elisa turned her head to look up at you and in the warm glow of her nightlight, you saw her chin quiver. “Promise you’ll never leave me?”

“As long as I breathe, I promise.”

You pressed a kiss on the top of her head, on her temple, then on her forehead before you hugged her again. Elisa sagged in your embrace as a watery sigh escaped her lips, and though she sniffled, she shed no more tears.

“I love you, too, Mom.”

In response, you kissed her forehead.

“How are you feeling now, ladybug?”

“A lot better, thank you.”

“Do you need me to get you anything?”

“Water, please?” 

“Okay. Do you want to come with me downstairs or are you alright with me going for a bit?”

Elisa thought about it before she said, “I’ll be alright here.”

You smiled at your daughter, half encouraging and more than proud, as your chest filled with warmth at her display of bravery. You stood, grabbed a fresh shirt from her closet and placed it on her lap so she could change out of her damp one. “Okay. How about you change into this while I’m gone, hmm? I’ll be right back.”

She nodded and you darted out of the room but not after you placed another kiss on top of her head and squeezed her knee for reassurance. So engrossed were you in your aim that you nearly ran into Alexia who was just standing off to the side of the doorway, an unopened bottle of water in hand. As soon as she saw you, she offered it to you without a word with a soft look in her eyes made warmer by the dim, yellow glow of the wall lamp beside her head. It was a simple gesture but your heart expanded from the thought behind it, so much so that you nearly cried when you took the bottle from her. 

“Is there anything else you need?” Alexia whispered as she stepped into your space, brushing the back of her hand over your cheek gently. You leant into the comfort of her touch and sighed, before you shook your head in answer.

“This is more than enough, thank you.” You met Alexia’s gaze one more time before you knocked on Elisa’s door and slipped back into it upon her consent. Once inside, you opened the bottle and gave it to Elisa and as she sipped from it, you ventured into her closet again to grab a small towel to dry her sweat with.

“How do you feel, ladybug?” You asked as you ran the towel over her face and the back of her neck.

“Sleepy,” she said with a small smile. You returned it in kind.

“Do you want to try going back to sleep? I’ll stay here if you want.”

Elisa yawned her agreement as she nodded so you tucked her in. Then you reclined against her headboard and began a lullaby, gently dragging the back of your finger in the space between her eyes until her eyelids fluttered close before her breathing deepened and eventually evened out. You remained there until you were certain Elisa had fallen asleep completely before you slipped back out, making sure to leave a slight gap between the door and the frame just in case Elisa woke up again. 

It wasn’t a surprise when you found Alexia still patiently waiting out in the hall, who pushed herself from the wall she was leaning on upon seeing you.

“Is she okay?” She asked softly, looking over your shoulder at Elisa’s door, concern apparent in her tone and the crease between her brows. 

“She’s… she’ll get there. She’s been through a lot for someone so young but she’s getting better.” It was getting frequent again, you noted with more than a hint of worry, Elisa’s recurring nightmares about the horrors she’d witnessed. You knew you needed to talk to Elisa about her therapy and if she’d be inclined to take more sessions to unpack this because there was only so much you could do to help her.

“What happened to her?” 

You looked at Alexia at that, unable to answer her–had no desire to if you were being honest. How could you come up with the words to explain it especially when doing so would lead to questions about what happened to you? And that was something you truly didn’t want to, or even knew how to, talk about. 

Alexia must had found something in your eyes because she just nodded at your reticence and casted her gaze down. You grazed your knuckles over the back of her hand, partly in appreciation for her respect and partly for her to follow you, while you stepped past her to the stairs down to the living room, Alexia’s footsteps not too far behind you. 

The both of you entered the living room in silence, the tension from what transpired between the two of you upon Alexia’s arrival and the weight of what you were about to talk about made the air thick for breathing. 

With crossed arms you settled on the wingback chair on the far side of the coffee table while Alexia situated herself on the other at the opposite side, leaving the couch unoccupied; the memories in it far too intimate for two people who’d grown apart.

During this reprieve, you finally allowed yourself the luxury to take Alexia in. You didn’t really get the chance to, it had all been a blur the moment she strode through the door, but now your eyes roamed over her freely. 

She had a pair of low rise denims on, a leather jacket over a white shirt that revealed a strip of her stomach while her loose, light brown hair framed her face. Even when sitting down, her character remained undiminished especially with the way she sat with her legs parted, one hand hanging over the chair’s arm while the other was on her chin, fingers splayed over her lips as she regarded you quietly in a fixing gaze that left you feeling exposed–vulnerable. 

Alexia brushed her lower lip with her fingers as she sank further against the upholstered back of the chair, tilting her chin up slightly as she kept her eyes trained at you. Her movement caused the warm glow of the light to touch her lips, drawing your attention to them, and you noted how they still glistened from the sheen of your lip balm from when she’d kissed you before, and the reminder made you burn, unpleasant in the way it ached, a bittersweet mixture of your immense desire and longing for the woman before you. It was intentional the way she moved; you knew it from the way Alexia’s eyes challenged you to speak up but you couldn’t quite find the words to say–you didn’t dare to. 

“Are they real?” Came the question. 

It was low and even, how Alexia posed it, but the abruptness with which the silence was broken made you flinch. That didn’t go unnoticed by Alexia it seemed because her gaze immediately softened. 

“Are what real?” 

“What you wrote in those notes you left me. Are they?” 

The silence that settled in the space between you pressed against your chest, made even heavier with the weight in Alexia’s eyes. You tore your gaze away from her and you didn’t dare look back up. 

“Look at me and tell me those didn’t mean a thing and I’ll leave.” ‘Just like you left me’, you heard the words Alexia left unspoken and then she continued, “I’ll leave and I won’t bother you again.”

She was serious. You knew if you lied and told her otherwise, she’d keep her word; she’d be out of your life completely. Were you willing to run? Were you ready to live a life without her for good?

Still without meeting her eyes you voiced barely above a whisper, “I… I can’t.”

Then you heard Alexia draw a breath, long and deep, followed by the unmistakable rustle of clothes before the air stilled once more. Not a moment later though a choked sound broke the quiet and immediately, your head whipped to the sound and found Alexia now bent forward, elbows resting on the top of her knees, her head bowed into the cradle of her open palms while her hair formed a curtain around her face. 

“‘What’s happening to me? I’ve not know desire like this–like how it is with you. How, then, can I go on without you now that I found you?’” Each word came out strained as her breath stuttered and yours, too, hitched at what Alexia just recited. Then she lifted her head up a fraction but it was enough for you to see the undisguised pain reflected in those eyes and the sight of them made yours burn. 

“You didn’t even give me a chance. You wrote and left those words to me but what was I supposed to do with them? What was I meant to do?” 

A pause.

“I thought I knew what feeling lost was like. My ACL taught me that and when my father–” Alexia screwed her eyes shut as she drew in a heavy breath. She continued after a moment, “but after you went away, I felt lost again. I didn’t know what to do with myself, didn’t know how or what to feel. All I knew was I was mad at you for leaving, for what you said to me, for not responding… I was hurt. And I felt so empty that I didn’t look through that damn bag you left me.”

“But I missed you. God, I missed you, so I opened it and what did I find? Your fucking notes.” Alexia laughed, flat and void of any warmth, and she shook her head as if in disbelief, digging the heels of her palms into her sockets before looking back at you with raw eyes. “‘With every kiss, every touch, I become more yours. If you ask me to, I will surrender myself to you.’ If you truly meant that, why did you leave?” 

“Won’t you even tell me why?” Alexia repeated, now pleading. 

“I–” You began but the words caught in your throat as you turned her question over in her head because why, why did you leave? 

“I was… I was afraid.” You admitted finally, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“Afraid of what?” 

“To hear that I meant nothing to you, to know I felt more for you than you did for me. I was just one of your girls, right?” You laughed bitterly, hating the way tears immediately fell down your cheeks, as you looked over Alexia’s shoulder, unable to look her in the eye as you spoke. You were weak enough as it was, so bare that one word from her could make you bleed if she wanted to.

“I couldn’t bear to hear that from you so I left. And perhaps it was cruel of me to leave those notes behind but I didn’t want to take them with me. I didn’t want the reminder of what we had and what we could’ve been. And I guess, deep down, I just wanted you to know how you made me feel because even if it ended, even if it meant nothing to you, that doesn’t change the fact that you made me happy.”

“‘Nothing?’ What do you mean–” Confusion first swam in her hazel eyes but her eyes suddenly widened. “That day… you were there?”

You hastily wiped your tears away with the back of your hand. “Yes.” 

“Oh my god,” Alexia whispered as she lowered her head even further, fingers digging into her scalp as she shook her head. You heard her mutter something in Catalan that you couldn’t quite understand, barely catching the familiar Spanish words for ‘kill’ and ‘two’ from whatever she said. 

Then Alexia gazed up at you with fire in her eyes. “If what we had meant nothing to me, I wouldn’t be here. Whatever you heard that day, there’s no truth to it.”

“All of it? Then tell me, what did Mapi mean when she said I’m one of your girls?” 

At that, Alexia opened her mouth before closing it again, then she casted her gaze aside. 

Your heart dropped.

She wrung her fingers, the muscle in her jaw ticked while her frown deepened but she found the courage to look you in the eye again as she began to speak. “After I got injured, I was a wreck. It was one of the lowest points of my life. I felt like I was stuck, like my life was playing out in front of me and I couldn’t do anything but watch.”

“The world moved on but I couldn’t. I couldn’t get past it, what happened and what would come after. It was a constant one step forward, three steps back. So I… I slept around because I needed control. I was spiralling when you met me and it’s–it’s true I had others while I was with you.”

Oh, how her words branded you! Perhaps there was still a small part of you that hoped Alexia would deny it but as the words spilled from Alexia’s lips, that vision was immediately dashed and in its place bloomed anguish. Your eyes burnt as you took Alexia in, she–with her lips pressed in a thin line and the corners of them crooked downwards, brows furrowed so deep her eyes were almost covered–looked guilty and in as much pain as you upon her own admittance.

“I had others but not after the first time we had dinner together. At that point, I stopped. I stopped because I hoped… I hoped that we could be more. I still do. But it never meant nothing to me, you never meant nothing to me. I just want you to know that.”

You bit your lip as her words sank in, and your stomach dropped even further as you realised something. The falling out, it was all your fault, wasn’t it? If you’d just talked to her, none of this would’ve happened. 

The silence must had lasted longer than you realised because you heard Alexia’s whispered plea, “please, say something.”

“I… I want nothing more than to be with you, Alexia. In my mind, it had always been you and instead of telling you, I didn’t do anything. I didn’t make my intentions clear and it was unfair of me to expect you to know them. I was going to–I was going to ask you to be mine that night but when I heard you say those words, I lost it.” 

Tears tracked down your cheeks as you choked out, “I’m sorry. I broke us, didn’t I?”

Alexia was quick to answer. 

“No, you were scared and hurting. I can’t hold that against you. And it’s not just you, it’s not like I was very vocal about what I wanted either. I should’ve told you what you meant to me, I should’ve made it clear what I wanted from this–from us.” Alexia looked into your eye with an ardent disposition that made you shiver while a small, hopeful smile graced her lips. “I still want you. If you still want me, have me.” 

Her declaration moved you and this wasn’t the first time tonight that her words made your heart ache–fed fuel to the fire that was your yearning. The temptation to accept her offer was too much but you stopped yourself; the logical part of you who knew that you weren’t the same person as the one Alexia met prevented you from saying yes. 

“I’m not the same person I was from before, Alexia. And I have a child. I don’t want you to trick yourself into thinking you want what comes with me just because you want me.”

“Then let me in! Let me know this version of yourself and don’t decide for me if I want or don’t want to be with you. Let me make that choice this time.” Alexia said, almost exasperated in the way she threw her hands up but desperation weighed heavier in her voice. “We don’t need to label it. You’re mine and I’m yours, isn’t that what matters?”

“And if it doesn’t work out?”

“And if it does? And now that we know what we want from each other, it’s not like how it was before.” Alexia countered easily. Then she added with a half smile, teasing. “C’mon. I thought you’re the optimistic one in this relationship?”

You couldn’t help it, you smiled at her lightness. Then you nodded. 

“Okay. So, can we start over slow?”

“That sounds good.” Then Alexia grinned, mischievous with the way she brushed her thumb over her nose and how her dimple gilded the corner of her lips. “Hi, I’m Alexia. What’s your name?” 

The absurdity of what she said caught you off guard, even more so the laughter that bubbled out from your throat. As your laughter faded and Alexia’s grin dimmed to a small smile, a vacuous silence settled over the both of you, a welcome reprieve from the weight and tension that filled the air moments ago. Your eyes roamed over Alexia’s figure in silent appraisal, and hers over yours, as you mapped the familiar contours of her silhouette. Then you noticed a change in her demeanour: her eyes darkened, a look you were well acquainted with fifteen months–a look that your body remembered all too well with the way your flesh burnt. 

“Did you have others?” The question took you aback and you were sure that you weren’t able to hide the surprise from your face because where the hell did that come from? Still, you indulged her.

“Not in the way you think. I can’t even kiss anyone without thinking of you. It’s not fair to them if I take them on as my lover when I know I’m still hung up on you.”

“‘Still’, huh?” Alexia hummed in response and her gaze only became darker, eyes now lidded.

You scoffed at her arrogance but it lacked any real bite because it was true anyway. Your cheeks warmed at her attention and you crossed your legs, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Alexia–the way she bit her lower lip made it known to you she knew just what she was doing to you–before you casted your eyes aside, down to the floor. “Don’t be an ass about it.” 

At the sound of clothes rustling, you looked back up only to find Alexia had already crossed the distance and now stood an arm’s length away. Your body, always in tune to her presence, parted your legs before you could think better of it and Alexia claimed what little space between you, her knees now against the edge of the chair. 

She planted both hands on either side of your chair’s arms as she leant down, craning her neck so that you could feel the warmth of her breath against your cheek.

“I’m being serious.” 

The words were whispered so close to your lips that you could feel the heat of hers as they brushed over yours. 

“I tried. But you… you had others, didn’t you? I saw the photos.” You tilted your head, relished the way Alexia followed and ghosted over your lips as you did so, whispering the words against her jaw. 

She shivered.

“One. Just the one before I read your notes.” And she leant in again and this time, you could almost taste her lips from how close she was to you. “She never touched me. And besides, who do you think she looked like?”

An image of the woman came to your mind. You didn’t realise it then but now her resemblance to you became apparent: the colour of her hair and the length of it, the colour of her eyes, her height. They were all similar to you.

“But you touched her.” It wasn’t a question and the silence that followed was confirmation enough. You didn’t hold that against her–couldn’t–but it hurt you still. You didn’t even know you’d teared up until Alexia swept her thumb over the corner of your eye, soft and careful; apologetic. And then a fire sparked in you, an all consuming green that prompted you to ghost your lips back to Alexia’s neck. You didn’t miss the way her pulse jumped when you left a light kiss there.

“Tell me, Ale. Did she feel better than me?”

“No,” Alexia choked out and the heat of it warmed your ear.

A kiss to the corner of her jaw. “Did she moan your name like I did?”

“No.”

You placed another kiss to the lobe of her ear before you whispered, low and cruel, and obscenely shameless. 

“Did she come for you like I did?” 

That did it.

Alexia took the back of your head in her hand and pulled you in for a kiss. A soft moan left your mouth–or was it from Alexia–as you surrendered to her heat, melting instantly and lips parting for her and her only. You felt her other hand creep down to the small of your back where she pulled you forward, urging you to stand up. When you did, and without breaking the kiss, Alexia manoeuvred the both of you until you felt the soft texture of the couch against the skin of your calves.

You pulled away with a gasp and before Alexia could upon her eyes, you stepped aside and pushed her just enough for her to end up on the couch, eyes flying in surprise at the sudden change of position. She opened her mouth, as if to protest, but she quickly shut it when you straddled her lap, hands automatically over her jaw and neck as you sank into her lips again. 

Alexia dragged her lips away from yours and you were about to sigh in disappointment until you felt her tracing the lobe of your ear with her tongue. Then she nipped along your jaw as she whispered, a smile clear in her voice, “that’s right… You like being on top.”

You shivered as her hands traced your silhouette but when you felt her hands move from your ass to the edge of your shirt, brushing against the skin of your back with clear intentions, the haze lifted immediately as apprehension filled you. The words didn’t even leave your mouth before Alexia stopped her ministrations, pulling away from your lips gently, and she opened her eyes, which revealed at first the deep desire in them, now replaced with concern as she met your gaze.  

“Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?”

Shaking your head, you placed a slow, lingering kiss on her lips before you broke away again, breathing heavily as you rested your forehead on hers.

“I’m sorry. And no, you didn’t. It’s not that I don’t want you because I do. God, I want you so much, you don’t even know, but I’m not–I think we’re going too fast and Elisa…” You trailed off, cheeks warming. 

Without another word, Alexia fixed the hem of your shirt so the strip of exposed skin was covered, and placed a tender kiss on your cheek. Then she shifted beneath you, shrugged off her leather jacket and placed it on the coffee table, before she lied down. 

A gentle hand on your back urged you down on her chest and upon doing so, you sighed as a sense of peace washed over you and you found yourself sinking into her tender warmth, into the safety of her arms wrapped around your waist.

She brushed back hair from your temple and you felt the flutter of her hum against your cheek before you heard it. “Are you comfortable?”

The gesture made you ache and you feared your words would fail you if you spoke so you only nodded, nuzzling the column of her neck with your nose and placed a kiss there as a form of gratitude.

Alexia pressed her lips on top of your head and then you heard her sigh, content. “Good.”

[mxnsterbabe]

Male Naga/Female Reader SFW Wordcount: 2,940 Commissions | Ko-fi | Masterlist

You get a text from a wrong number, and it sounds like they need a shoulder to cry on. Except, you keep texting, and eventually Teng asks you to meet.

Elodie sat in her cosy cottage, the fire crackling softly in the hearth. The countryside around her was quiet, a serene backdrop to her evening routine. She sipped her tea, enjoying the warmth that spread through her. The room was bathed in a soft, amber glow from the table lamp beside her. She glanced at her phone, idly scrolling through social media when a notification popped up—a text from an unknown number.

Hey, it's Teng. I got your new number from Jenna. I really need someone to talk to. You free?

Elodie frowned, curiosity piqued. She didn’t know anyone named Teng, and certainly hadn’t given her number to anyone recently; but the message was so earnest, so heartfelt. She hesitated for a moment before typing a response. 

I think you might have the wrong number, but I’m here to listen if you need to talk.

Almost immediately, her phone buzzed again. Oh, I’m sorry! I thought this was my friend’s new number. 

Elodie could have left it at that. It was already late, the guy had no idea who she was, but… well, curiosity had always been her weakness.

She sent another quick message asking if he needed to talk, not expecting him to answer. After all, who wanted to vent to a stranger?

To her surprise, though, he came back with yes, please.

Elodie’s heart softened. She knew all too well what it felt like to be isolated. Living in the countryside had its perks, but it also meant long stretches of solitude.

It’s no problem at all. I’m Elodie. What’s going on, Teng?

There was a brief pause before the next message came through. Thanks, Elodie. I guess it’s just difficult to talk about this stuff with people I know. They’d deny it, but I don’t think my friends really get me.

Elodie replied quickly, her fingers flying over the keys. I get that. Sometimes it feels like no one really sees you, you know? If you need to rant, rant away.

Teng's reply was swift and candid. I’m not stupid, I know I don’t exactly fit in. At work, it's even worse. I'm always the odd one out, and it’s exhausting trying to fit in.

Elodie frowned, her heart aching for him. What do you do for work?

I'm a software developer,Teng responded. It’s a job that allows me to hide behind a screen most of the time, but meetings and social events are a nightmare. Everyone is so... human.

Oh. Her heart did a little flutter. So, he wasn’t human?

Elodie paused, contemplating her next move. Would you like to call me? Sometimes it helps to talk things out loud.

There was a longer pause this time. She waited, watching the little dots on her screen that indicated Teng was typing. Finally, the message came through. I’d like that.

Elodie took a deep breath, then dialed his number. It rang only once before Teng picked up. "Hello?" His voice was thick and raspy, with a lilting Chinese accent; it sent a shiver down her spine.

"Hi Teng, it’s Elodie," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. "It’s nice to talk to you."

"Nice to talk to you too, Elodie," Teng replied, his voice softening. "Thank you for listening to me. I really needed this."

"Of course," Elodie said warmly. "So, tell me whatever you want to. Get it off your chest."

Teng sighed, and she could almost see him running a hand through his hair. "It's challenging, but I enjoy my work. The problem is the people. They always seem to be staring, judging. It’s hard not to feel self-conscious."

Elodie’s curiosity got the better of her. "Why do you think they judge you?"

There was a brief silence before Teng spoke again, his voice tinged with nervousness. "Elodie, I need to tell you something important about myself.”

She rose a brow even though he couldn’t see it, waiting silently.

“I’m a naga."

Elodie’s breath caught in her throat. She had heard of nagas, of course she had, but she’d never met one before. As far as she knew, they didn’t get along with many other people. 

"That… explains some stuff," she said carefully. "Is that why you feel so isolated?"

"Yes," Teng admitted, his voice heavy. "My people usually prefer seclusion, away from the hustle and bustle of city life; but I wanted to try living in the modern world. It’s been... difficult."

Elodie’s heart ached for him. "I can only imagine how hard that must be.”

"Thank you for understanding," Teng replied, his voice softening. "Most people don’t. I moved to Oceanhall a year ago for work, but I haven’t made any friends."

Elodie felt a surge of empathy. Oceanhall wasn’t too far from her. "Hey, I get you,” she said softly. “I live in the middle of nowhere, a real countryside cottage; I’ve not exactly been making a lot of friends lately either. Maybe we could both use a friend."

"I Iknow I could," Teng said. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

They continued talking for a long time, after that. The hours ticked by without Elodie even noticing; she was so absorbed in Teng’s beautiful voice, in everything he had to say. 

Despite his struggles, it was pretty clear that Teng was handling it the best he could. He told her about his attempts to fit in at office parties, the difficulties of having a six foot tail in the cramped city spaces. And, of course, his strict dietary restrictions. 

"People don't get why I don't eat like them," Teng said with a chuckle. "Humans, orcs, goblins; they might have different preferences and allergies, but it all boils down to the same thing. Three meals a day, veggies carbs and all that… but us nagas are pretty much exclusively carnivores.”

“Huh. I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah. There’s one vegan at work who really doesn’t appreciate it.”

Elodie smiled, feeling a growing affection for him. "You sound like you’ve been handling it well, all things considered. It must take a lot of strength."

"It does," Teng admitted. "I didn’t realise how much better I’d feel just by talking about it, though."

Elodie’s heart swelled with warmth. "Hey, I’m glad I could help."

There was a brief pause on the line before Teng spoke again, his voice filled with an almost shy hesitation. "I just realised the time. I’m so sorry for keeping you up this late."

Elodie glanced at the clock and saw that it was indeed late, but she smiled to herself. "It’s fine, really. I’ve enjoyed every minute of our conversation."

Teng’s voice softened. "I’ve enjoyed it too. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt comfortable talking to someone."

Elodie’s heart fluttered at his words. She could hear the sincerity in his voice, and it made hersmile even broader. She was about to say something when Teng’s voice came through the line again, this time with a touch of nervousness.

"Elodie, I was wondering... I know it’s a bit of a distance, but would you maybe like to meet up sometime? We could meet halfway. I’d love to take you out to dinner as a thank you for tonight."

Elodie felt a rush of excitement at his suggestion. She had grown so fond of Teng already, and the idea of meeting him in person made her heart stutter. 

"I’d love that, Teng," she said, her voice filled with genuine enthusiasm. "Dinner sounds wonderful. Let’s plan it."

There was a palpable sense of relief in Teng’s voice when he replied. "Really? That’s great. How about this weekend? I can find a nice place for us to meet."

Elodie smiled, her heart racing with anticipation. "This weekend works perfectly. I’m really looking forward to it."

"Me too," Teng said, and she could hear the smile in his voice. "I’ll figure something out. Thanks for humouring me.”

Elodie wasn’t sure how to tell him she wasn’t humouring him at all. If anything, she wanted this even more than he did. Instead of saying so, though, she simply said,”I can’t wait."

They said their goodnights, andn Elodie hung up the phone. She sat back, her mind buzzing with thoughts of Teng. 

As she got ready for bed an hour later, Elodie found herself thinking of Teng’s laugh, the way his voice had that soothing, raspy quality to it, and the thoughtfulness in his words. She was excited about the prospect of meeting him, and the anticipation of their dinner date filled her with a sense of joy she hadn’t felt in a long time.

Climbing into bed, Elodie turned off the lamp and settled under the covers. She closed her eyes, a smile playing on her lips as she replayed their conversation in her mind. There was something special about Teng, something she couldn’t quite place.

***

Elodie arrived at the little cafe Teng reccomended, her heart pounding against her ribs. The gentle hum of conversation and the clinking of cutlery created a comforting atmosphere, but her mind was racing. She checked her watch and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She had been looking forward to this moment ever since she and Teng had agreed to meet. Now that the time had come, she felt a swirl of nerves.

She chose a table near the window, the warm glow of the café’s lights reflecting off the polished wooden surfaces. The cafe was charming, with an eclectic mix of patrons. She noticed a couple of orcs sharing a hearty meal in one corner and a small group of elves enjoying delicate pastries in another. It was a place that welcomed everyone, no matter their background or dietary needs.

Just then, she heard a soft rustling at the entrance. Turning, she saw him. Teng was more striking than she had imagined. He had a striking face; high cheekbones and full, plush lips. His eyes were a deep, warm shade of brown, looking about the cafe cautiously. 

He was gorgeous, no doubt, buy it was his lower body that truly set him apart. Where his waist should have been, his body transitioned into a long, sleek serpent’s tail, covered in iridescent golden scales that shimmered under the café's lights.

For a moment, Elodie was taken aback. She had known Teng was a naga, but seeing him in person was a different experience entirely. Her initial surprise quickly gave way to a sense of awe. Despite his inhuman features, there was an undeniable beauty about him, and she felt drawn to him in a way she hadn’t expected.

Teng approached slowly. “Elodie?” he asked softly, his voice thick and raspy. His accent seemed thicker in person, with a slight lisp.

She nodded, managing a smile. “Hi Teng. It’s really nice to meet you.”

His eyes softened with relief. “You too.”

They stood there for a moment, taking each other in. Elodie could see the nervousness in Teng’s eyes, and she felt a wave of empathy wash over her. She stepped forward and gestured to the table. “Shall we sit?”

Teng nodded, and they made their way to the table by the window. As they settled down, Elodie couldn’t help but glance at Teng’s tail, which coiled gracefully beneath the table. The scales glinted under the warm café lights, creating a mesmerizing pattern.

“This place is wonderful,” she said, breaking the silence. “Thank you for suggesting it.”

He smiled, showing sharp teeth. “I’m glad you like it. I thought it would be a good spot for us, considering they cater to all kinds of people.”

Teng’s eyes met hers, and she could see a flicker of appreciation at her easy acceptance.

They perused the menu together, chatting easily about their options. The café offered a diverse array of dishes, from hearty stews and fresh salads to more exotic offerings tailored to different species’ needs. Elodie noticed Teng’s eyes light up when he found a section dedicated to naga cuisine.

“What are you thinking of ordering?” Elodie asked, curious.

Teng smiled, a hint of excitement in his eyes. “They have a dish here that I haven’t had in years. Fresh, raw fish and local herbs.”

“Kind of like sashimi?”

“Yeah, exactly!”

Elodie nodded. “That sounds amazing. Maybe I’ll give it a try too.”

“You don’t have to,” Teng said, and he seemed to wilt in front of her. “It’s an acquired taste, don’t force yourself.”

Her heart ached for him. Without thinking, she reached across the table and took his hand in hers. His skin was cool to the touch, dotted with beautiful gold and amber scales. His fingers curled around hers, and so Elodie gave him a light squeeze.

“I know we don’t know each other well,” she admitted. “You seem like a really good guy. I’m not forcing myself to try your food, or whatever else you’re thinking. I want to be here.”

“I’ve always felt like an outsider,” Teng admitted. “People see me and believe a whole host of things that aren’t true. I guess it’s difficult not to assume the worst.”

Elodie reached out and placed her hand on his, her touch gentle and reassuring. “I can’t imagine how tough that must be. For what it’s worth, I think you’re pretty great.”

They lapsed into a comfortable quiet, Elodie watching Teng from the corner of her eyes. He really was handsome, all dark hair and shining eyes.

When the food arrived, Elodie’s eyes widened at the sight of the meal. The dish was beautifully presented, with fresh fish slices arranged artfully over a bed of herbs. It looked almost too beautiful to eat, but the raw aspect was slightly intimidating. It wasn’t like sashimi at all.

“I have to admit,” Elodie said, glancing at Teng with a nervous smile, “this wasn’t quite what I expected. I’m a little intimidated.”

Teng chuckled softly. “Don’t worry. I’ll show you how it’s done.” He picked up a piece of fish and dipped it into what looked like a lemon sauce, then ate the piece whole.

Following his lead, Elodie picked up a piece of fish, imitating Teng’s movements. She dipped it into the sauce and took a tentative bite. The flavour exploded in her mouth; fresh and citrus, with a hint of sweetness

“Wow,” she said, her eyes widening. “This is really good!”

Teng smiled, clearly pleased. “I’m glad you like it. It’s one of my favourites.”

Elodie took another bite, enjoying the silky-soft texture of the fish. “So, what other foods do you enjoy?” she asked.

“I eat a lot of meat,” Teng explained, picking up another piece of fish. “Mostly raw. There’s one dish my mum used to make; raw tuna and watermelon salad.”

She had to admit, that was difficult to imagine. “I love trying new foods,” she said. “This is definitely new, but I’m really enjoying it.”

When he grinned, she glimpsed those sharp fangs again. It made her stomach flip and oh, she wanted to know what it felt like to kiss him.

Wait, where had that come from?

“Nagas have a drink called vargash,” Teng said, snapping Elodie from her thoughts. “It’s a fermented drink kind of like a sweet beer. It’s a shame they don’t sell it here, it goes well with fish.”

Elodie leaned forward, trying not to look at him for too long. Could he tell that she was thinking of him like this? She distracted herself by saying, “I’d love to try it sometime.”

Teng smiled. “Maybe next time we meet, I can bring some for you to try.”

Elodie felt a warm flutter in her chest at the thought of another meeting. “I’d like that.”

As they finished their meal, the underlying  thrum between them became almost unbearable. Every glance, every touch seemed charged with a subtle electricity that made Elodie’s heart race. 

When the server cleared their plates and brought the bill, Teng turned to Elodie with a gentle smile. “Would you like me to walk you to your car?”

Elodie’s heart skipped a beat at the thought of spending a little more time with him. “I’d like that very much.”

They stood up and made their way out of the café, the cool evening air a pleasant contrast to the warmth inside.

When they reached her car, Teng hesitated for a moment before turning to face her. “Elodie, I’ve really enjoyed tonight. Could we do this again?”

Elodie’s stomach flipped as she blurted, “yeah, I’d love to.”

Teng took a step closer, his voice soft. “Can I kiss you goodnight?”

Elodie’s heart fluttered, and she nodded. “Absolutely”

Teng leaned in slowly, his eyes never leaving hers. When their lips met, Elodie felt a surge of warmth and affection. His lips were cool and soft against hers, his fangs pressing lightly into her lower lip. He tasted of fresh herbs and lemon.

When they finally pulled away, Elodie’s heart was thudding so fast, she swore he could hear it too.

“I’ll see you again?” she asked softly.

“Of course. Same time next week?”

Elodie didn’t know how she could wait an entire week to see him again, but she nodded anyway.

They exchanged a lingering look before saying their goodnights. He kissed her again, one arm snaking around her waist to pull her close. His tail got in the way, but he curled it around her feet and Elodie shivered in delight.

“Goodnight,” Teng said quietly. “Get home safe.”

“Goodnight.”

Elodie watched as Teng disappeared into the night, her heart full and her mind buzzing with thoughts of him. Next week couldn’t come quickly enough.

[bisexualiteaa]

Hi honey, I just discovered your Cooper fics today and oh my gods. They're incredible, I love the way you write him ❤️. I was wondering, if you're still taking requests that is (no pressure like), if you could do a sub! Cooper x reader? Preferably male!reader or with male genitalia, but fem is totally okay if you're not comfortable with that 😁. I just think Coop with a taller, more muscular partner is neat.

I'm thinking the reader was secretly married to Coop and Barb beforehand, but lost part of their memories after they became a ghoul and one of the best bounty hunters around, wearing a mask. And all they remember about Coop is how beautiful his eyes were (Walton Goggins has the most gorgeous eyes ever, I swear 😫) So the reader wants the head too and tags along with the gang, eventually getting closer to Cooper. During a fight, reader gets hurt and Coop comes over to help them, but reader is finally close enough to properly see his eyes and realises it's him. Coop takes off the mask, reader remembers, there's tears, kisses, and eventually super soft, subby sex.

So, really just really angsty, then fluffy when they find each other after 200 years. Reader taking care of our baby girl Coop, and him just accepting the love and being a pillow princess. Maybe a little overstim and edging if we're feeling spicy 😉.

I'm so sick for this man, it's unhealthy. Thanks again for your amazing work, love. I absolutely made my day better! (Sorry for how long this ask is 🙃).

It’s Been a Long, Long Time

Cooper Howard x Ghoul Fem Reader (angst-fluff!)

CW: pre-ghoul Cooper, established relationship, reader and Cooper were married and had a child together, character death, cursing, angst!! But don’t worry, it’s a happy ending, slight OOC Cooper, slight deviation from the TV series

AN: not me posting this at 3am before I leave for a trip for the weekend, I feel like I’ve depraved y’all! 😂 I wanted to post this to give y’all some good Cooper Content ™️ before I go on a three day hiatus for vacation! 🥺 Thank you all to the people who have submitted asks, I promise I am still working on them/towards getting to them! ❤️ In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy this one! @kinatanhi I hope I did your request justice! I know it’s a little tweaked from what you sent in and forgive me, I wrote this literally an hour ago at 2am because it finally came to me what I wanted to write, but seeing as it was written at 2am, y’all please forgive me if it isn’t my best work, I tried my best lol. 😭❤️

You smiled happily as you danced with your husband in your shared, quaint little kitchen, his hands coming to rest at your waist as they always did, and your arms looped around his neck. You were thankful that the producers on set of his movie, as well as his agent, allowed him to come home early in order to celebrate your birthday with you. You stood smiling up at him as you two danced- well, more like swayed, to the slow music playing from the radio. You lay your head against his chest, smiling as your eyes set on the gorgeous flowers that were lying on the kitchen counter that he brought home just for you. You smiled up at him when you caught him staring down at you with nothing but love and adoration in his gaze. “What’s that look for, hmm?” You asked with a playful smile, making him chuckle and flash that gorgeous smile of his that you loved so much, almost as much as his eyes that you swore you could be lost in forever. “Nothin’, just that I’m lucky enough to have married the most beautiful woman on this earth” he said, making you hum appreciatively at his cute answer. “Oh stop it, you charmer you” you replied, making him scoff in fake offense, making you giggle at his dramatics. “I’ll have you know I don’t go throwin’ that ‘round willy-nilly, little lady” he assured, making you smile wider at him as you laughed. “I know, I’m a lucky woman to call you my husband” you replied sweetly, getting up on your tip toes to kiss him as you looped your arms around his neck once more.

Those were better days, days when things were so simple, times where all you had to worry about was nothing more than how long the pie was in the oven, or how your baby was doing. It was a pleasant memory, one you’d never forget as the last time you’d seen your husband since the war. That night flooded your memories each time you’d lay down to close your sunken in eyes, they were the only thing about you now that remained as human as they were back before you became a ghoul. You swore to yourself that you’d find him one day, swore that you would kill the bastards that started all this, that took your baby girl away from you before she had a chance at a good life and separated you from your husband. You prayed each and every night that he was still out there, still alive somewhere, roaming the wastelands like you were. You knew it was doubtful at best, maybe it was better if he wasn’t alive to live through the shit you have, to see the way you look, but one could only hope for the better things. You no longer looked the same way you used to back then. Your soft, nearly perfect skin was now marred and leathery, your teeth yellowed from radiation exposure, poor diet and lack of ability to actually care for them, and your nose was now missing completely from your face, a deep hole sitting where the cartilaginous appendage once did. You wondered if he would even love you still in this state, if he’d even recognize you. You couldn’t blame him if he didn’t, you weren’t that same woman anymore physically or emotionally. Anger and vengeance had a hold on your heart like a vice death grip, you were kind to those who deserved it sure, but to those who crossed you? Those who hurt you? Let’s just say there’s a reason you’re a feared bounty hunter out here in the wastelands and not in a vault somewhere.

You were walking into Filly one late morning, coming to pay a visit with Ma June to see if there was anything she needed, any bounty she may have had for you for some extra caps. Your supply of chems to keep you from going feral was running low, you were down to your last bottle in your inhaler, and in desperate need of more. As you strode into town, you pulled your bandana up over your nose, effectively covering your face below your eyes, your large hat casting a shadow on the rest. You weaved your way through the vendors as they were trying to shove goods at you and anyone who was behind or around you. As you waded though, your ears caught the sound of a deep, southern accent that sounded awfully familiar to you. “I ain’t interested unless you got RadAway” he spoke harshly to the vendor haggling him, and you had to do a double take. He sounded just like your husband. You turned in the hopes to place a body to the voice but by the time you could, he was already lost into the crowd, impossible to find amongst the sea of people now that he wasn’t speaking to anyone anymore.

You huffed to yourself, wondering if maybe you were just hearing things, or maybe you were just plain out delusional at this rate. It wouldn’t shock you, between the years of radiation exposure, radiation sickness, and everything in between, you wouldn’t be shocked to find out you’d gone mad. However you wanted ever so badly for it to have been him that was speaking. To run up to him, arms outstretched, tears down your face but a happy smile as you called his name. But you couldn’t, you couldn’t even find the man attached to the voice anymore so why make a fool and draw attention to yourself. No one took kindly to ghouls. So with a heavy heart, you pushed on, making it to the doorstep of Ma June’s shop when you heard him again. “50 caps? That’s just plain ridiculous. 30, take it or leave it” he bartered, making you turn around again, only this time you caught him. You spotted a man that was tall, around the same height as your husband, clad in a wild western style cowboy outfit. You thought it was familiar, from the hat all the way down to the boots, it reminded you of him but a lot of people out here in the wastes wore Wild West themed clothes, deeming themselves cowboys and cowgirls of the wild wastelands. You wished he would turn around, you needed to see his face, hell just his eyes would be enough to sate the curiosity that was eating away at you. You’d forever recognize those eyes, they were so unique, so him. So beneath the shade you stood, observing him from a distance to be safe. That was until Ma June saw you standing there through the window of her shop, and she had a job for you that was important so she couldn’t wait for you to be done with whatever it was your were doing before she drug you inside. “What are you standin’ around out here for? I got a job for you!” She exclaimed, grabbing you and pulling you inside right as the man turned to walk away. You groaned in frustration as your only chance at an answer was stolen from you, but little did you know that your commotion made him stop to watch curiously as you went inside. Something about that dress you were wearing looked awful familiar to him but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, so he just kept walking.

As the next couple of days passed by, the curiosity was absolutely eating away at your mind. You wondered if you were on the brink of going feral with how your thoughts were screaming that it could have been him. You wished she would have waited until you could have gotten a better look at him than just his back and his clothes, though they felt familiar, akin to something he would have worn on the set to his movies, you just couldn’t be sure. So you continued on, traveling with a random person’s head in your bag, wrapped up in an old T-shirt that was soaked through with blood now as you were on your way back from your bounty for Ma June. It was a particularly hot day outside, one of those days where no matter how much water drank, you just couldn’t keep the heat away or the dehydration at bay. So as you sucked down the last of your water in your canteen, you did your best to stave off the coughing fit that was bubbling in the back of your throat like a horrible itch you just could never scratch. Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t enough, and seeing as you hit your inhaler for the last of your supply yesterday, you were shit out of luck. Damn it, you were so close too, you felt it. You couldn’t go like this, not without finding him, not without avenging your child and going after those Vault-Tec bastards that stole her and your husband from you. “Damn it!” You choked out as you clutched your chest, your coughing fit sending you to your knees in the sand where you laid in the hopes that it would let up sometime soon and you could continue moving. This couldn’t be the end for you, it just couldn’t be. You wouldn’t let it.

As you laid there, throat burning as you were hacking up your lungs, you saw a figure walking along the horizon in the distance. You wondered if maybe this was what they spoke of when people said their loved ones come and take them away right before they pass, or maybe it was just another hallucination, all you knew is that they were coming closer and closer to you. You reached for your gun with all the strength you could offer through your coughing fit and weakened state, unsure of whether they were a raider or someone with just plain ill intention. As they drew closer, you looked up to see another ghoul stabbing before you, his cowboy hat casting a slight shade over his face but even through the tears in your vision you could see his eyes. They were gorgeous, they looked just like how you remember your husband’s looked the last time you had a chance to look into them, making you look him over but it was so hard to tell. He was a man who had succumbed to the same fate you did, leathery skin, no nose, ruined ears, but his eyes…god they were so familiar. You saw him cock his head while looking at you, investigating your features, you could tell there was something about you that he was intrigued with.

“I feel your pain there, sister” he said, that southern drawl coming out sounding just like him, and god how it made your heart ache. He bent down to see you better, taking a better look at you. “I’ll be damned if somethin’ ‘bout you ain’t familiar though” he said, making you look up at him, and in that moment as he looked into your eyes, he could have sworn it was you, his long lost wife. He held hope it his heart, but it was a cruel world out here, he couldn’t be sure. “Your eyes, they look a lot like my wife’s did” he said, and you took that as your chance to see if it was really him. “C-Coo…per…?” You rasped out the best you could, needing to know if it was really him, needing to know if he was alive or if you were just going crazy. His eyes went wide for a moment before reaching for his gun, making your heart jump in your chest with anxiety. “How do you know my name?” He asked coldly, his eyes looking angrily upon you and it made your heart wrench in your chest but beat fast all the same to know it was him. “Tell me! How do you know my name?” He said angrily, making you raise your hands up to show you weren’t dangerous, you cursed your inability to speak properly or else you’d have answered his question already. “Be..cause…we were…Mar…ried” you rasped out once more, showing him your wedding ring that he bought you that rested on your ring finger, making him soften up for just a moment. “After two hundred years… could it really be?” he asked softly to himself in disbelief, but once again, he reminded himself that this world was a cruel place where people stoop to things lower than they ever did before. To him, you could have been anyone, maybe no more than a random stranger who pick pocketed that precious ring off of his wife, a total stranger playing as his beloved to get to his weakness. He pointed his gun at you once more, making tears come to your eyes even more now, had you said something wrong? Why was he mad at you? You hadn’t left on bad terms last you remember, but then again it’s hard to remember as far back as two centuries. “How do I know, huh?” He asked aggressively, and you figured it was a valid worry, you knew how awful this world was now, you couldn’t blame him for needing the reassurance. He needed to be sure it was truly you. “How do I know it’s really you?” He asked, waiting for you to stop coughing long enough to give him an answer. “What’s…that look…for?” You asked, something you always asked him when he stared at you in awe, or when he looked at you right before you two went to bed, it was like your signature phrase. You weakly removed the bandana covering your face, trying your best to show him any bit of your features left that you could use to show him it was really you. “It’s me…Coop. Y/N…” you rasped as saliva began to well in your mouth at the sight of him, slowly losing control over yourself as time passed. He’d never dropped his gun so fast, or fell to his knees so quick in his entire life than in that moment, the only other time was the moment he found out you were pregnant with his child, dropping to his knees to kiss your belly and place his hands on it excitedly. “Oh my god…Y/N” he said in utter shock and disbelief that you were here, you were alive. You were a ghoul now which hurt him to know you suffered the same pain as him, but you were alive and that’s what mattered most to him, finally having found you after all the years spent hoping you were still alive out here.

“Here baby, here, hold on. I gotchya” he said, quickly grabbing his inhaler with a vial of the chems you’d run out of last night, never needing it more than in this moment to keep you from turning feral on him. He pressed it to your lips, pushing the plunger on it to get the chems in your system. You inhaled it like a breath of fresh cool air, sending you coughing once more but that itch was slowly fading away, you could breathe again. You looked up at him as you laid there weakly, your head in his lap. “My hero” you said weakly, trying to be funny but he was too caught up in looking into your eyes, getting himself to believe what was right in front of him. “Two centuries I’ve spent looking for you…” you said, your eyes scanning him and his features to assure yourself too that this was real, that he really was sitting here before you, alive and well. Or as well as one could be as a ghoul in the wastelands. You smiled as you teared up, seeing the tears in his eyes as he looked down at you, pulling you up and into a hug. “Oh god…I can’t believe you’re alive” he said, hugging you tight and you did the same, burying your face into his shoulder. “I could say the same to you. I always knew you were stubborn, too stubborn to go out the way the rest of the world did” you said, making him chuckle as stray tears ran down your marred cheeks. “I’ve been dreaming of this day…dreaming of the day I’d get to see you and B/N again…” he said, making you grip his duster as the tears flooded down your face even more when he said your baby girl’s name. “Cooper…” you said, making him pull away from you but you weren’t far, he made sure of it. “She…she didn’t make it, honey…I’m so sorry. I tried everything, believe me I did, but it was too late…” you said, making his heart absolutely break in his chest knowing his baby was gone and that he would never have the chance to see her again.

“What was she like? She was so young when it all happened” He asked, holding your hands in his as you two shared in this moment together. You smiled as your hand cupped his cheek softly, your thumb rubbing along his skin that shared the same texture as your own. “Just like her daddy. She had your gorgeous eyes, your beautiful smile and that same stubborn attitude” you said through a laugh, making him chuckle with you as his hand came to hold the back of yours as it touched him. He missed your loving touch, and that beautiful smile that he swore could light up even the darkest rooms. He could hardly believe that you’d still even touch or speak to him now, with the way he looked. He knew you likely held a sympathy for it, knowing all too well yourself what it was like but the fact that you weren’t scared or hateful like others were towards him for it. “She was smart, funny, kind…she was daddy’s baby girl. You’d have loved that about her. It was like a little slice of you was there in her, keeping me going. She gave me hope when it felt like there wasn’t any left in this world to hold onto” you said, seeing a few stray tears stream down his cheeks as you spoke of her. His stomach was in knots, his heart filled with anger and pain to know the wastelands claimed one of his own. “I wish I coulda been there, for both of you. Maybe she’d be here if I was” he said somberly, guilt lacing his tone as he leaned his forehead against yours, not caring if your hats would come off. He needed this, he needed you. “Hey, don’t blame yourself for what happened, you had nothing to do with it. It’s those vile people at Vault-Tec who did this. They took our baby, not you. Don’t you ever think this is your fault” you assured him, holding him close to you as he expressed the most emotion he’s felt in nigh on two centuries.

“We made it pretty good all things considered, held our own well for ten years. I taught her how to use a gun when she turned eight to keep her safe should anything happen to me, did everything in my power to keep her safe, fed and hydrated even on the hard days where supplies were sparse” you explained. “The radiation just became too much for her little body to handle. She was ten years old, I could hardly believe it. It was like I woke up one day and she wasn’t a baby anymore, our little girl had just grown up so fast” you said, remembering those days as tears clouded your vision, streaming down your cheeks like small rivers, watching the droplets fall into the sand beneath you. “I’m sorry Cooper, I’m so sorry…” you apologized, making him hold you tight and hush you as you did. “I shoulda been better…if I was better maybe she’d still be here now” you said, taking the blame for something you knew you had no control over, but it left you guilty all the same. “Shh, don’t go thinkin’ like that. I’d say from the sounds of it, ya did a damn fine job managin’ that long out in this shit hole just the two of you. You always were a great mom, and an equally great wife” he said, making you sniffle as you smiled at him at that reassurance. “I did all I could, there was hell to pay for anyone who stood in my way, that’s for sure” you said, making him chuckle because that was exactly how you were before the war too. You always wanted what was best for your family, and you were willing to go great lengths to keep your husband and child happy. “I know you said you been lookin’ for me for a long time…but I ain’t the same man I was back then” he started. “But I got a feelin’ you ain’t exactly the same woman anymore either, so maybe we can still work this out, you and me” he said, making you chuckle. “No, I’m not. And if that means you don’t love me anymore I-“ you spoke but you were cut off by the feel of his lips against your own. They were thinner now, dry and marred by radiation just like yours were, but you could still feel the passion behind it, the love in it. No amount of radiation could ever take that away. “You lettin’ all the radiation get to that brain of yours? Of course I still love you. I lost ya once, I ain’t losin’ you again, that’s for damn sure” he said, making you laugh as more tears fell, only these ones were happier ones now. You squeezed his hand that was in your own as your heart raced in your chest. “You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear, Coop” you replied, kissing him once more with all the passion two hundred years of separation could hold behind it. “I love you, and I’ve missed you so damn much” you said, pressing your foreheads together once more as you fought the tears that began to turn into a sob. “I love you too darlin’, missed you like crazy. The world ain’t been the same without you” he said, making you sniffle as you felt the same way. “And if you’ll still have me, I’d like to make that a world of the past” he added, making you chuckle tearfully. “Of course I will” you said, allowing his heart to rest assured that you were still his girl, making him smile as he looked down at you, his thumb rubbing along your cheek to wipe away your tears.

You smiled back up at him, your hand coming to the back of his as you remembered the moment from your birthday again all those years ago, slow dancing in the kitchen with him. “What’s that look for, hmm?”You asked, just like you did that day, making him grin as he thought of the right words to say. “Nothin’ just that I’m lucky enough to have married the most beautiful person on this earth” he replied, making you chuckle. It was just what you’d been needing to hear all this time. “And how lucky I am to have her back in my arms where she belongs” he added, making you giggle before kissing you once more. Desert be damned, Cooper had his wife back after so long spent searching for her, and he was going to make damn sure she knew how much he missed her all these years.

[winterarmyy]

Promise Me | Part II

When he was sent out for war, Bucky made a promise to his lover that might just last through several lifetimes.

Navigation: Part I | Part II | Part III (end)

Words: 5.2k++

Pairing: 40s!bucky / eventually tfatws!bucky x female!reader

Warnings: little angst, melancholy but fluffy stuff, we have bucky's pov in this one, lovers who missed each other very much, emotional reunion, probably bad writing of fighting scenes (sorry guys), mentions of suicide, mentions of sexy times, death of main character (y/n' s past life), another attempt to follow mcu timeline, otherwise, nothing that's too heavy/sensitive for anyone to read.

P/S: Thanks so much for the feedbacks in previous chapters! Here's the new update, guys! I hope you enjoy your reading!

Read my other works here: Masterlist

Brooklyn, 2024 – Glimpses of the past

"So, Mr. Barnes, are you still having nightmares?" Dr. Raynor asked as she leaned leisurely on her chair. However long it had been since the first time she met Bucky on their first therapy session, she still couldn't crack the man to talk more than he deem necessary.

Bucky sat silently on the sofa that was certainly big enough to fit three people with its size, as he stared blankly at the door behind Dr. Raynor, wanting to avoid eye contact with the woman.

"James, I asked you a question." She prompted as she crosses her legs together. "Are you still having nightmares?"

If he was being truthful, then his answer would've been yes, however he decided to test if she managed to see through him, "No." He replied with a convincing tone.

Dr. Raynor paused for a moment as she eyed his behaviour,  "We’ve been doing this long enough that I can tell when you’re lying." She quirked her eyebrow as if she was non-verbally asked him to cut the crap.

"Well, you seem a little off today. Did something happen recently?"

Yes. Something did happened recently.

Sure, there was the horrid nightmare that had been haunting him in his sleep most of the nights, but lately there was something else that's been making unannounced appearance in his dreams. Something much older than his memories of the Winter Soldier.

They were glimpses of the past where he was but a man in his mid 20's living his best life with a woman he thought he was going to end up growing old with.

Bucky saw images of his younger, undamaged self tangled up in bed with that woman. His hands raking through her raven hair as he pushed the mess away from her face. And when she whined in her sleep he would let out a soft chuckle as he lovingly stroke his thumb across her cheek.

He remembered feeling the tug in his chest when the morning light touches her brown eyes as she peeled them open. He remembered the sweet smile she graced upon him as she pulled him in for an innocent kiss. He remembered the warmth of her naked skin rubbing against his own when she snuggled back into his body.

Those were always a pleasant dream to have during his sleepless nights. However rare it was to have them; he found himself spared in the gentle grace that she left behind from those loose pieces of memories. He realized that his broken soul yearns for her peace more than his will longs for his freedom.

"No." He lied again.

"You’re a civilian now. With your history, the government needs to know that you’re not gonna…" Dr. Raynor gestured her hands as if there was an invisible knife in her grasp as she motioned a stabbing movement.

Bucky let out a silent sigh, nodding his head with a somewhat forced derpy smile as she continued to explain, "It’s a condition of your pardon. So, tell me about your most recent nightmare."

However, Bucky remained stubborn on keeping the memories of his lover to himself. He simply shook his head as he briefly looked to the side and out the window, before coming back and confessed, "I didn’t have a nightmare."

Dr. Raynor breathed deeply, letting the air out through her nose as she clicked on the mechanical pen. The pointer latched on the surface of the lined papers as she started to write down her observation.

Bucky who was sitting on the opposite side only scoffed in respond to her petty attempt of threat, "Oh, come on. Really?" He taunted, "You’re gonna do the notebook thing?" Rolling his eyes in annoyance as he commented his thoughts outspokenly, "Why? It’s passive aggressive."

"You don’t talk. I write." The therapist replied with a short comeback.

Bucky glared intensely at her before letting out a sigh, "Okay. Okay."

His flesh fingers started to fiddle with his metal ones, a habit which he noticed he recently picked up after getting used to the high-tech vibranium arm.

"It wasn't a nightmare. It's just..."  Bucky didn't know how to put it in words other than, "...a good dream."

It was in the peak of witching hours, when Y/N stood in the middle of the tiny kitchen section of her lover's humble apartment. The quiet of the night sometimes interrupted by the sound of the droplets trickling from the faucet.

There was a luminating light of the full moon that leaks through the open window, granting enough of a vision to see the layout of the kitchen. The stillness of the air made Y/N wonder if this is what she would need to go through soon.

Just an empty atmosphere without the presence of her lover.

And there she goes again, wondering in the seemingly endless darkness, thinking of the worst things that could possibly happen.

She had been staring unblinkingly at the counter top for who knows how long since she was woken up from her slumber.

Y/N couldn't go back sleep even if she needed to. Not when tomorrow is the day that she dreaded the most. The day Bucky was going on his first call, to be sent away to England first thing morning.

"Missed you in bed, yknow?" The huskiness of Bucky's voice broke her from the gloomy thoughts. 

Y/N turned around to first see the bare shape of her lover's body, lean and slightly muscular, then trailed up to his sleepy grin, barely opened eyes and the mess of his bed hair sticking out all over the place.

She had to admit, partially, it was her fault for constantly pulling on them when he went down on her. But it was also important to note that it was entirely his fault for being so damn good at it.

Bucky's humming was hoarse when he walked towards her, "What are you doing up, doll?" While Y/N watched his naked figure moved closer.

Bucky Barnes is a beautiful man.

She knew that even before they started dating but it is a wonder that his beauty still to manage to catch her off guard sometimes.

The moment he engulfed her into his arms, she whispered onto his skin, "Can't sleep." She kept it short and ambiguous but that only became the biggest giveaway to Bucky.

Bucky effortlessly lifted her up on the counter as he settled comfortably in between her legs. His hands trailed along the side of her thighs, casually lifting up the thin material of her night gown before going under it to gently fondle with the flesh of her hips.

He leaned upwards, placing the softest kiss on her lips as he murmured, "Everything's going to be alright, y/n." He kissed her again for a good measure, "I'll be home to you before you know it."

Y/N wrapped arms around his neck, pulling him closer until their forehead touches each other's, "You must write me, always." She spoke quietly; as if it was a secret she wanted to keep from the world.

"You must tell me everything, James. Don't hide anything from me; every blood, sweat and tears. I want to know all of it." Her eyes pleaded desperately, "You must be safe." Their lips hovered over each others; so close, barely even touching, "And come home."

The blue of his eyes were glazed with so much love and adoration as he whispered, "I promise, doll. I'm not going to die before I meet you at the end of the isle."

Somehow, Bucky always knew what to say to make her crack a smile, "I love you, James. Too much for my own good." She pulled him as she kissed his soft lips, "I love you too, y/n. More than anything." He grabbed her by the head, latching his mouth on hers as if it was their last kiss.

Before she knew it, Bucky swiftly pulled her off from the counter and grabbed her onto his shoulder, causing her to yelp in surprise. "Oh my god, Bucky! Put me down right now!" The brunette simply laugh as she shriek his name, "James!"

"James!" Dr. Raynor managed to pull Bucky out of his thoughts. "You're clearly out of it today." She remarked before continuing, "And so, this woman in your dreams... Is she someone you knew back in the 40's?"

Bucky replied, "Most probably." He hesitated as he thought thoroughly, "Or it could just be a made up character that only exists in my dreams."

"Does she perhaps, have a name?" Dr. Raynor asked, in which he simply answered, "She does."

There was brief silence of unbroken eye-contact between them, before Bucky realized that the therapist was silently enquiring her name.

Bucky straightened his position in his seat as blatantly stated, "I'm not telling you her name." That was where he drew the line. Therapist or not; she didn't need to know his lover's identity.

Dr. Raynor hanged her hands up as a sign of defeat, "Okay, okay. That's fair." That was when the timer on her phone went off, "Oh, time's up." She reached for her phone and slide across the screen.

She quickly stood on her feet as soon as Bucky did on his own, "That would be all for this session. Thank you for coming in today, Mr. Barnes."

He had to let out a sarcastic chuckle when he said, "It's not that I want to anyway. It's mandatory." He walked towards the door but before he could turn the knob, Dr. Raynor spoke.

"Outside of this 'mandatory' session, I'd say my advice to you as a friend, is to maybe find her. Or her family." She suggested, "And if you're lucky..." She briefly paused, "...maybe she's still alive somewhere."

Bucky remained static for a moment before he spoke, "Thanks, Doc." He didn't look back to face her at all, before walking out the room feeling much more burdened than he did entering it.

Dr. Raynor's advice soon turned out to be a constant dilemma to him more than he anticipated.

Virginia, 1991 – The man she once loved

Y/N panicked. She didn't think the appearance of that metal-armed man will trigger a deep-rooted memories she was desperately trying to forget; spiralling her back into old chapters of her previous life.

It was the year of 1991 and Y/N was in her 6th life. She was a black widow that went rogue after managed on escaping the Red Room program about a few years prior. She was drunk on hatred and vengeance that she almost recklessly killed half of the people in her facility on the day she escaped.

It's not to say that she came out uncut, it was quite the opposite really. Y/N had left the grounds with multiple holes on her body and a deep wound her face; a cut from the inner edge of her right brow all the way across her left cheek.

And that left her with a very prominent and unforgettable scar. Though she couldn't care less about it, especially when she knew Hydra was out there still thriving under another intellegence organization like some kind of parasite.

After she heard the news that Howard Stark has successfully replicate the super soldier serum, she is now somewhere in Virginia, trying to hijack the products before it falls in the hands of the Pentagon or worst, Hydra.

Unfortunately for her, the worst thing that could happen, happened.

Someone from Hydra managed to get their hands on them before she could, leaving the corpses of Howard Stark and his wife in the broken down car, posing it as a road accident.

The bodies was still warm and she knew the culprit won't be far from the crime scene, so she rode on forward until managed to catch up with him. She never intended to confront him head on. She was planning to follow him to the meeting point where they will transfer the products to another Hydra agent, like they always do.

But he certainly didn't care about her plan when he changed his route to a different location. She didn't even realized that her incognito was useless when he nearly shot her in the head.

Now, with her cover blown, it was just him and her alone at the gate of an abandoned building. "Well, shit." Y/N cursed.

She could feel the heavy tension from the atmosphere. Silence from the wordless man were screaming louder than her pumping heartbeat.

There were only two of those run-down street lamp that helped to brigthen up the battlefield. But even with the dying light, Y/N could see the silver of left arms, a red star on the upper side, black mask covering lower half of his face and a messy black shadow all over his eyes.

She knew who he was; though most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists. The ones that do call him the Winter Soldier. Hydra's most prized asset from the Winter Soldier program that Y/N had been trying to track for months.

Maybe it was a careless greed, or maybe she was just tired of living. But, Y/N dared herself to fight the against super soldier. It was intense but completely one-sided as the soldier managed to counter most her punches and kicks.

There were times that she felt like he was simply playing around with her and that riled Y/N to the core. If it wasn't enough for God to toy with her life, now this weapon of Hydra is joining the fun.

She was sick of it; and it got her to be impatient. That, however, was a mistake that she shouldn't have done especially during a hand-to-hand combat with the Winter Soldier himself. 

Y/N ducked down from his swinging arm as she surged her own towards him but the man could see her moves from a mile away, so he dropped his knife to his other hand and managed to strike the blade right into where her pulsing heart resides.

All the times she had ripped her own life, it seemed that her soul was used to the pain that it took a few moments of time to register the pain.

"Ah, this is truly exhausting." She thought to herself.

She wanted it to end.

She wanted to rest. For good.

In her hazy vision, she looked up at the soldier and noticed that he had been staring blankly into her eyes; like a curious predator watching his dying prey.

She knew it was wrong, but looking closer at the shade of blue in his dead and frozen eyes, she couldn't help to find the resemblance in the man she once loved.

It was cruel to find the semblance of her lover in the eyes of her killer, but that tends to happen when a person's soul longed for someone so much that everything and anything became the reminder of them.

Streams of tears trickled down into her ears as her blood seeped through her clothes, staining the fabric and the ground under her.

Instead of hearing the sound of the soldier's footstep walking away, all she could hear was the vivid memories of Bucky's laughter, "I miss you, James."

She truly did.

She missed him so much that she wished that she can finally die this time around, praying for a chance to meet him once more.

But alas, that's not gonna happen anytime soon. Not when the God hates her now.

"I miss you so much." her voice shivered as she whispered her last breath.

Madripoor, 2024 – Long-lost lover

Easy to say, Y/N was furious that she let the memories of her past, the appearance of the winter soldier, distract her focus for her mission. She was furious that she didn't manage to get into Wilfred's lab before someone else did.

Don't get her wrong, though.

She was somewhat grateful when she found him dead, because that's means there's one less parasite that could potentially revive Hydra from the recreation of super soldier serum. But, she was pissed that she wasn't able to dig for more information about his research and the people he was affiliated with.

She knew he was recruited by the CIA before the blip but seeing that his lab is now basically a cargo, located in Madripoor, she doubt that he has anything to do with CIA now.

He's probably working with someone else in the underground scene.

Y/N sat leg-crossed on stacks of cargo, as she watched the scene from afar. The bounty hunters were ruthlessly attacking a group of criminals that attacked Shelby last night, while they were completely out-numbered.

She heard from the bar that it was considerably a high pay for the rewards especially when the targets were consists of the runaway prisoner, Zemo, Hydra's weapon, the Winter Soldier and the member of Avenger, the Falcon.

It was indeed an odd group of people but she couldn't care less about how that came to be. What caught her attention was the fact that the Falcon, who is a member of the Avenger, was affiliated with the Winter Soldier, who is an asset of Hydra.

And the fact that they were digging their feet in the underground world for the super soldier serum making the trio combination even more concerning.

She knew it was the best bet to approach the Falcon for information rather than going for the other two, so when the group split up during their fight, she quietly followed the Falcon.

He was a bit clumsy when fighting alone; or maybe it was because the hunters kept streaming in non-stop. Nonetheless, one by one, eventually the Falcon managed to take them down.

Y/N lurked at the corner, quietly observing his fighting style as he struggled with the few that was left.

"He's going to run out of ammo." She thought to herself.

And two shots later, he did.

There were two hunters left and he had no choice but to use his fists. Looking at him now, maybe he suited the hand-to-hand combat style more than gun combat. Y/N noticed his moves are more seamless than when he fight with a gun a few seconds ago.

The Falcon breathed heavily as the last hunter was tackled down. She decided that it had to be now or never, at least before the winter soldier came to the scene to regroup. When she stepped out of her camouflage, the Falcon only noticed her presence that he missed the red dot on his chest.

But, Y/N saw it, "Fuck! He can't die. Not before I get what I want." She couldn't let him go without getting information she needed from him.

In mere seconds, she jumped towards him and managed to pulled him away from the target. However, it was not far enough, that was when the bullet grazed on his side. Y/N quickly grabbed her throwing knife and land it right into the hunter's head.

The Falcon staggered backwards, meeting his back on the side of the cargo as he groaned in pain. His eyes scanned the appearance of his potential saviour; hooded figure, mask-covered face, assassin-like dressed – he realized that she matched the description of what Sharon had warned him before.

"So before we move, this might be unrelated, but I gotta warn you guys about someone." Sharon spoke as she equipped herself.

The three men looked over her as they gave their undivided attention, "While last night was hectic with the return of the Winter Soldier." She briefly looked over at Bucky, "But, there was also another person that made an appearance."

"She's known as the Deathstalker." She paused. "What I can say about her is she's a basically mystery; appeared out of thin air a few months into the blip." Sharon explained, earning a couple of nods from Sam and the signature frown from Bucky.

However, Zemo simply smiled and commented, "Ah, the pretty little Deathstalker." The mannerism of his speech was thick with Sokovian accent.

"You know her?" Sharon quirked.

Zemo smiled again, this time a little bit too smug, "We might have once crossed our path." He kept it ambiguous.

"When? You were in the prison years before the blip." Sam frowned as he questioned.

Sipping on the glass of liquor, Zemo answered, "She may or may not have 'visited' me to get some information about Hydra."

The mention of Hydra caught Bucky's attention but he kept it well hidden under his stoic expression. Noticing Sam's confusion with Zemo's insinuating answer, Bucky simply laid it out for him, "It means, she broke into the prison, Sam." he simply sighed.

Sam jutted his lips as he shrugged, "Guess you're not the only one who's insane here, Buck." He teased as he poked fun of Bucky's decision of 'breaking into the prison' to let Zemo out.

"You said, 'pretty little Deathstalker'. So you've seen her face?" Sharon asked curiously as she crossed her arms to her chest. No one had seen the assassin's face before, so she could help but to ask.

Zemo shook his head, "No. But that signature mask of hers cannot hide the beauty within." He smirked as he recalled the look in the Deathstalker's eyes; she had that obsession for vengeance. As he did when he broke the Avengers apart .

"You see, I've always had the eyes for beautiful things." He explained as if it was a natural thing to say.

Sharon knew shouldn't let herself expect too much from Zemo, especially when he had that attitude. She simply rolled her eyes and walked towards the seat next to Sam.

Bucky leaned his back into the sofa, spreading his legs apart as he asked, "Is she gonna be a problem?" An assissin that's been breaking into prison to ask Zemo about Hydra. That doesn't seem like a casual information to overlook.

Sharon shrugged as she continued, "Well, depends on your move. But, I'd advice you to never get on her bad side. People speculated that she's a rogue assassin turned bounty hunter but the thing is... she has never taken any job."

Bounty hunters get their money from jobs that's advertised all over the city. So, the Deathstalker couldn't be called a Bounty Hunter when she never take jobs before. If it were up to Sharon, the Deathstalker was much suited under the same category as Ronin, the masked vigilante who tracks down and slaughters criminals during the blip.

Sharon explained that, "She just stalks around the underground scene, and leave bodies behind for people to find."

Zemo interjected, "Hence, her name." Gaining a glare from Sharon, that translates to "Do you want to tell the story or what?"

"Right." Sam nodded as he takes in the information.

After earning a silent apology from Zemo, Sharon continued, "No one knows who she works for or what her aim is but there's rumours she's been hunting down Hydra, or anyone and anything affiliated to it."

Again, the Deathstalker's obsession with Hydra had caught Bucky's attention. A rogue assassin seemingly made it her mission to hunt down Hydra?

Bucky doesn't know what to make of that. So, he kept his questions to himself. Eitherway, if she gets in their way, he'd still need to fight against her.

"Why are you telling us this again?" Sam asked as he didn't find the connection between their mission and the Deathstalker.

Sharon replied, "It's just worth to note that she might be hunting for Wilfred Nagel too." She paused as her gaze fell into Bucky's, "...since the super soldier serum had been Hydra's obsession for centuries."

The Dealthstalker technically saved his life.

So, does that mean that she was not an enemy?

Sam was struggling between containing his pain and coming up with a plausible conclusion but Y/N's action quickly give him the answer he needed.

Within seconds, she had Sam pinned against the wall as the edge of her sharp blade dug into the skin of his neck, "What is an Avenger doing with the Asset?" Her voice sounded distorted through the voice-changing mask.

"Lady, I don't know what you're talking about!" He grunted in protest.

Sam was not used to Bucky being labeled as an "asset". Sure, he knew the name of Winter Soldier or Soldat. But, Bucky was never addressed as the Asset, at least not by the people around him.

Y/N grabbed him by the collar and harshly slammed him against the metal of the cargo behind him, causing him to curse as the pain struck on the side of his abdomen.

"Are you planning to revive Hydra?" Her menancing eyes searched into his, demanding for a truthful answer.

What kind of bullshit was she talking about?

Reviving Hydra?

Why the hell would he do that?

However, before Sam could retort to her accusation, Y/N was pulled back by an arm, wrapped around her neck from behind. She knew it was the Winter Soldier from the cold metal burning into her skin. The soldier's other hand grabbed onto her wielded hand, forcefully bending her wrist until the knife fell from her grasp.

He easily lifted her up in the air as he backed away, tightening the lock of his left arm around her neck while twisting her right hand to her back with his flesh hand. The smaller let out a robotic groan through her mask as she struggled in his chokehold.

While the two wrestled in between holding one down and freeing oneself, Sharon quickly ran to Sam's side, "Are you alright?" she prompted as she examined his wounds. The male simply nodded his head, "Yeah, it's just a graze." He explained before asking, "Is that the Deathstalker chick that you've been talking about?"

Sharon followed his gaze, and eyed the woman who was still struggling in Bucky's hold before she managed to land a paticularly sharp strike right into Bucky's stomach, "Yeap, that would be her." Sharon answered.

Usually a few strikes by an elbow of a woman doesn't really hurt the super soldier but unfortunately for him, the elbows of the suit Y/N was wearing were armored with thin yet effective pad made of vibranium. Due to its ability is to absorb and dissipate shocks, it managed to push him back and simultaneously loosen his hold on her.

When his guard was down, Y/N took the opportunity to  slightly twist her foot back around his and grab onto his left arm. She pushed her bottom into his hips as she bend over, pulling onto his arm as she flipped him forward.

Y/N stepped backwards, standing on guard as the soldier rolled over on the ground before finding a position to stop the inertia; one knee of the ground while the other leg paused at his foot with his back facing her.

Her hands reached to her back and pulled two knives from the holster on the belt, gripping them by the handle while the blades facing downwards. She bended her knees into stance, much like a panther ready to pounce.

But when the soldier stood on his feet and turned around, suddenly her defensive stance flatter and her breath were cut short. The battled-tensed surroundings did not matter when all she could see was the soldier's face.

He looked a bit aged from the last time she saw him but a lot younger considering it was decades ago.

How could she forget those livid-blue eyes sharpen beneath the deep frown he was wearing?

Or the softness of his pursed lips ghosting over her own?

Even if the smooth skin of his forehead were now decorated with thin lines of wrinkles, and the exhaustion in the discoloration under his eyes had overshadowed the playful glint he used to have; they could never fool her to believe that the man standing in front of her right now was not her long-lost lover.

"James?" Her voice was gentle but the voice changer behind her mask didn't quite conveyed her tone.

Suddenly, the high walls of her defences begin to crumble into mere pieces of fragments like crushed dried leaves on autumn grounds. Time suspended, almost too still, as if it was trying to give her the luxury to cherish the revelation; to revel in the moment of joy and relief.

And there wasn't any thoughts formulated in the fog of her mind besides the need to melt in his arm. Somehow the dark side of her mind managed to trick her into believing that if she didn't touch him now, then she would perish in despair.

Her feet inches forward closer and closer, and her knives were long forgone, leaving clancking sounds on the surface of the ground.

When Bucky heard his name uttered by the woman, somehow it didn't sound foreign to him. It was as if he'd heard it before.

And when he saw the wet glaze in her brown eyes as she hesitantly walk towards him, he knew then that she was not approaching with an intent to kill him; he'd dare to say it was quite the opposite.

There were so much emotions in her gaze; grief, yearning, sorrow, need, joy – that he even his ex-assassin's skill couldn't possibly decipher them all. And that had impeccably managed froze every nerves in his body until he can only stood there, paralyzed on his spot.

With each hesitant step, more tears started to swell in her eyes. Step by step she took, hoping he wasn't another fragments of hallucination that she made up to ease her needs, until she finally stood close enough to him to realize he was real.

Bucky knew he should move. Reprimand her before she could land any sneak attack that he might not expect; but he couldn't. Not when she gaze up at him with that look in her eyes.

He unexpectedly drowned himself in those waves of emotions in her eyes, not realizing her actions until her shivering hands cupped his face.

Her fingers were cold as if they were soaked in ice.

Her voice slightly cracked when she spoke, "Is that really you, James?" Even if she was looking directly into his eyes, somehow the question sounded like it directed towards herself rather than to Bucky.

It's real.

He's real.

Her eyes casted down to where her skin met his warmth. There was a slight tingle when her thumbs rubbed against the stubble of his jaw, prickling her skin perfectly just as she remembered.

"It's you. James. It's really you." She mumbled under her breath, convincing herself over and over as if her brain refused to acknowledge it while her heart does otherwise.

Bucky, on the other hand, didn't know what to do or what to say. But, he hadn't heard anyone called him by that name so affectionately since Y/N. The lover he left behind during WWII, who's grave he had been visiting every Tuesday morning ever since that particular session with Dr. Raynor.

However, something in his guts were screaming at him to reach out to this woman's plea as she cried in his presence, lost in her own world as she muttered his name again and again.

But, why?

Why does he feel the need to cradle her body in his arms, and whisper the sweetest things to calm her down?

Why?

Bucky gulped as his eyes loomed over hers, "Who are you?"

<< Part I || Part III >>

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: Feel free to leave feedbacks! I'd love to hear your thoughts! Until then, see you in the next part 🤍

[kaiijo]

BLUE LOCK PLAYERS AS DEMIGODS (i) — [BLUE LOCK]

characters: shidou ryusei, oliver aiku, itoshi sae content: gn! reader (reader is called “sunshine” once in shidou’s) slightly suggestive humor, set at camp half-blood (or some random camp for demigods lol) but you don’t need to have read percy jackson to read this notes: references this post

⋆｡° child of ares! shidou x child of apollo! you

it’s unsurprising to all of your siblings that shidou ryusei is in and out of the infirmary a lot because he gets into A LOT of fights (“typical ares kid” your siblings say while rolling their eyes)

the first time he came to the infirmary, you were the only one brave enough to patch him up given that, not only is shidou known for picking random fights but also for being kind of batshit crazy. after that, you were the only one he even let touch him without lowkey growling at them…

“shidou’s here again,” otoya, one of your half-brothers, informed you one day. you sighed heavily and found shidou in the waiting room, beckoning him back to an exam room

“take your shirt off,” you told him and he grinned some wild smile at you and said, “ooh, already trying to get me naked? at least take me to dinner, sunshine”

you snorted and when he did, your eyes widened at the giant, purpling bruise forming on his side. “what happened this time? “underlashes junior got really into sparring”

ah, that made sense - this wasn’t the first time shidou got into a physical altercation with itoshi rin 

“leave the kid alone,” you said as you grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and threw it at him

he caught it and asked, “not gonna hold it against me yourself?” “why would i do that” “well you were so eager to get my shirt off” “you’re insufferable”

shidou licked his teeth, still looking at you with that shit-eating grin. “yeah but you like that”

what was the most annoying this about that statement: you couldn’t exactly say it’s a total lie

⋆｡° child of poseidon! oliver aiku x child of athena! you

oliver aiku had a bit of a reputation as a womanizer and, to be fair, it’s not undeserved. he was charming and hot, it’s not like it’s just random, and he probably flirted with nearly every person within a ten mile radius of camp

he first noticed you at a game of capture the flag. not to brag or anything, but oliver was known as the best defender at camp but somehow, the opposing team managed to outmaneuver him and his team and steal the flag and carry it to their side

shocked and impressed, oliver inquired as to who was the mastermind behind this strategy and the answer was simple: you, a child of athena 

he found you in the armory, hanging your sword back up and, leaning against the doorway, he said, “hey”

you glanced over your shoulder. “hey?” 

“so you’re the master strategist?” “yeah” “i don’t think we’ve met, im oliver.” “yeah i know” and with that, you resumed taking off the rest of your armor

well, that was new

“you know,” oliver said, strolling over to stand beside you as he took off his own armor, “i’d love to get to know you better. not every day someone manages to pull one over on me. wanna grab some lunch”

you gave him a side eye and said, “sorry, i’ve got something else to do” and then you brushed past him and out of the armory

oliver watched your retreating form and it was from that day on that he decided his just had to make you his 

(spoiler: he eventually succeeds after many, many, many times asking you out (read: groveling, begging on his knees, etc.))

⋆｡° child of zeus! itoshi sae x child of hermes! you

you get sent on a quest with itoshi sae and you were forewarned by multiple different people that you should brace yourself for a quick but absolutely miserable experience

“sae’s super powerful but gods, his attitude is absolute shit”

honestly, all the things people told you should have worried you more but you ignored them. it wasn’t fair to listen to hearsay about someone in your opinion and besides, it just made you want to step up to the challenge and befriend him even more

as the two of you set off, you asked him a bajillion questions about him, his life outside of camp, his life at camp, his brother rin (which earned you the most acidic glare and the meanest answer ever), and whatever else you could think of

“do you ever stop talking?”

“not really” sae gave you another withering look

you ran into tons of monsters and it was honestly incredible to witness the full power of a child of a big three god - sae’s battle prowess coupled with his control over lightning had you feeling just a little unnecessary but you also assisted well (sae wouldn’t admit it but he was pretty surprised by your quick thinking and reflexes and your skill with your weapon)

finding that you weren’t completely useless was when sae began not being so short with you and actually made some effort at conversation and you two lowkey started bonding over the next few days

one might even say sae began to develop some semblance of fondness 

you had a major breakthrough with him when you essentially sacrificed yourself and threw yourself in front of whatever mythical beast you were sent to defeat

sae never disposed of an enemy quicker than he had in that moment and he got you two back to camp even faster

you’re passed out for three days in the infirmary and when you woke up, sae’s asleep in the chair besides your bed

“oh good, you’re awake!” one of the apollo kids who works at the infirmary entered the room. “how are you feeling?”

“a little sore” you glanced over at sae and the apollo kid said, “not sure how you managed it but sae’s refused to leave the infirmary since he brought you back. must make you pretty special.”

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not telling my partners I'm a system?

💚🐻

To preface this, I don't use Tumblr and I'm using my partner's account, so I would rather ask this anonymously. Forgive any non-tumblr-isms 😅.

This happened a while ago, but to be honest I can't let this go. I feel so horrible about it despite being reassured and I figured Tumblr, who has a lot of systems/people with DID/OSDD, would be able to give me an unbiased (as much as I can give an unbiased account, anyway) answer.

I, (24M), am a system with one headmate, P, (??). (Neither of us are sure how old he is, since it seems to change on the day). I don't want to get into exactly how I got him, but I believe the term for what we are is "traumagenic"? Sorry, again, I'm not really familiar with everything.

Anyway, I've had him since I was 8, and he's been... well, a real pain in the ass, to be frank. I understand now that he's a defender by nature and was trying to protect us, but when you get expelled from middle school for several physical attacks and almost get sent to juvie you start to resent the guy a bit. He's a bit like a sleeping bear, except if the sleeping bear had one eye open and killed you before you could hurt him.

Back when I got out of my abuser's house and went no contact at age 20, I moved in with my current partners, Bonfire (24M) and Greenhouse (25NB) (names changed for privacy, obviously.) At the time I didn't know them, but they were looking for another roommate and I desperately needed somewhere to live.

So I moved in with just the clothes on my back and my wallet (bad move, I know, but I didn't have anything anyway). I didn't care to interact with them all that much, not wanting P to get defensive and attack them for no reason, but they just kept pushing and eventually I relented and hung out with them some.

"Some" turned to "often," and then "often" turned into "sleeping-in-their-bed-and-sharing-our-clothes." At that point I was too far into it and embarrassed to admit I'd been hiding a whole other person from them in my mind. I wasn't sure if they'd even like me after, what with P's history of violence.

...so I never told them. I did my best to forget about anything that ever happened and tried to just enjoy the future I'd always wanted for myself. Bonfire and Greenhouse are lovely people and I was finally, maybe just a little happy. I'd never been a happy person and I was content to bask in it for as long as I was able.

This, of course, backfired immensely. P and I didn't have the best relationship at the time, with both of us wanting to do very extreme things to get away from the other. He wanted to kick me out and be by himself in my body, and I wanted to kill myself to be rid of him. We've since reconciled and made strides in accepting ourself for who we are- it hasn't been easy by any means, but that isn't the point.

I recognize now that he was afraid of being hurt again, not wanting to get out of that survival mindset in case Greenhouse and Bonfire turned out to be super-secret mega abusers taking advantage of our trust, but I also know what he did after was wrong.

He got physical with Bonfire, screaming at him and threatening to kill him if he got any closer. I don't have any memory of this happening, so some details may be incorrect, and I apologize for that. Bonfire, not knowing that P was not, in fact, me, (coupled with the fact that he's a fucking idiot (meant with affection)), he got closer and tried to talk me (him) down. P punched him in the face and broke his nose, after which he ran out of the house and left me to "wake up" a few miles away curled up under a tree.

P left me a note a few days later that said he didn't mean to break his (Bonfire's) nose, but that he was lucky he hadn't done worse. This, in P speak, is probably the most sincere apology I could get at the time.

To try and keep this as short as possible, I'll summarize what happened next. I told Bonfire and Greenhouse about P because at that point the cat was basically out of the bag. They said they'd wished I'd told them sooner, and that they were a little uncomfortable being in the same house as "the lean, mean, stabbing machine" (- Bonfire) but that they were willing to help me manage him if I promised to tell them everything I knew about how he worked.

I did, and it's been years since then, and now P and I are, as stated before, closer than ever. I recently asked my partners whether or not they were still upset with me for not telling them, and they just said that they weren't entitled to my medical history and trauma (which, yeah, but he did break Bonfire's nose) and that they didn't care because, "hey, we basically got a free dog out of it" (- Bonfire), and "we made a promise to love you, including all the less-than-savory parts." (- Greenhouse).

Sweet, yes, but I think I might be TA because, um, P LITERALLY BROKE BONFIRE'S NOSE AND THREATENED TO KILL HIM? AND IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN PREVENTED IF I HAD TOLD THEM?

TL;DR: I didn't tell my partners about my headmate that's prone to violence and he did violence on them and I feel bad.

AITA?

(P says hi, by the way, and he also wants me to tell you that he isn't like this anymore and much prefers soft blankets and eating fruit to breaking his family's noses.)

What are these acronyms?

[ccircusclwn]

are.you.an.angel..

I've been looking for AleNoah as dads my entire life man!!! You're like.. sent from above!!

..

wait how did they get MK then..

did Noah and Emma have MK then divorce, and then Noah gained custody..or is she just adopted..

I don't know if you mind me doing this but like,

I like to imagine :3.. that Aleheather broke up and Nemma actually got married but divorced so then MK is just like..there. Then boom Noah and Alejandro meet again and they're like "btw did you know in World Tour I loved you" "fr!? Me.me too!" "do you wanna get married" "yea!!!!"

yea. (I may have gotten Raj into the mix..bleh.)

Wow this is incredibly long sorry about that drink water and have a lovely day!!!!!

-⏰

OKAY I ACCIDENTALLY MAY IR MAY HAVE NOT MADE A CHART THAT EXPLAINS THE AU THANKS TO THIS ASK (IN MY EYES) !!

i personally dont like the idea of the women in the respective relationships abandoning the men to let them be gay w each other, esp since so many people that write similar things end up making emma just straight up abandon the family cause of stress. its way too convinient yknow, jst my opinion, and it makes emma look bad (which shes way too awesome) i think she would be very close w the mudaliar-burromuerto family but as a close friend/honorary aunt sorta way.

but your idea of the au is cool! i like it.

this is kinda of like a long answer to your question being like. how did they have mk.....

okay so.

how did they end up together? i inspired myself from a fic that is literally just noah being alejandro's only visitor in the hospital post-WT. they become friendly and, since the burromuerto family sees alejandro as an embarrassment for being too vulnerable and letting himself lose the million dollars in front of many people, leaving him being kicked out, they eventually end up moving together! its kind of a slowburn college romance if im being honest. and once theyre juniors/seniors in college, they end up getting together.

so. hooow do they adopt mk? since its from birth? wouldnt they be super young? EXACTLY

theyre young parents due to alejandro being pressured from his side of the family to at least get a child if he's going to keep being a failure. this hurts ale deeply and he genuinely starts to panic, thinking he should raise a kid as soon as possible. he manages to convince noah that its true baby fever and that they'll be wonderful parents, even though normally "ideal" parents marry and then have children.

they search for a while and eventually come across someone who was thinking of adoption whilst pregnant, and the three of them worked very hard to make it possible. so in 2007, MK is born, and adopted into the mudaliar-burromuerto family. (i do not know SHIT about adoption so i wont make much detail about it)

of course, not being married and having a child was also critizised, so they quickly married around a year or two later. (it took a while to cut the burromuerto family out of his life, but back then ale was very young and very easily manipulated by his family)

so, around 6 years later, they adopt another kid, which was already a year old, but who really didnt have a name. he was dropped off at an orphanage when he was around 6 months old, but he didnt seem to be registrated anywhere. ale n noah, curious, took on the role to foster care this kid and came up w a name for him, which alejandro chose, nicolás. they adopted him soon after

so yeah full story!!! may be susceptible to change!! wahoo!!

[ellievickstar]

Nobody’s Choice

A/N: I am so sorry I ended part 2 in a cliffhanger…it was cruel…and…rude. I hope that this beautiful fic will…make up for my…wrong doings <3

Summary: When then mating bond finally snaps into place, what are you meant to do when you realise your mate has another in his heart, will you break it off to save yourself, or will your mate be able to save this heartbreak?

Request: N/A but highly anticipated.

Pairing: Azriel x Witch!Reader

Warnings: breaking of mating bond, talking to ancestors, major angst, cliffhanger, self-doubt.

My Masterlists & Rules

Part 1 — His Second Choice? // Part 2 — Your Choice.

~*~*~*~*~

"Azriel...I-" But something made you pause. You knew there was no way Azriel could be with you forever. You had seen the lingering glances he had given Elain. You couldn't deny that they shared a connection that you both didn't have...not anymore. However, Azriel was also a male of honour. If you wished it, he would never see Elain again, but how could you do that to him. He will eventually resent you for it, maybe not of his own accord, but with time. You couldn't rip away his will, but you couldn't give him what he wanted in this moment right now. Eventually he would realise that though you were mates, his heart belonged else where.

You looked down at the male again. And as you weighed your options carefully, you knew what you had to say, what you needed him to believe.

"Okay," You plastered a smile on your face, and in a split second you let a piece of happiness in all this sorrow slip down the bridge of the bond and slam into his side. It was enough for him to beam up at you, to sweep you into his arms as he celebrated. If only he knew that inside, you couldn't enjoy this moment with him. He thanked you, his eyes bright, and without a word he instructed you to get ready quickly, because he wanted to give you the best night you had ever experienced. Nodding, you shooed him away.

As soon as he was out of your sight, gone to prepare what he planned, you fell to you knees. Maybe, you could lie to yourself, but the second you awoke you could feel that spark of desire from his side of the bond, maybe it was so small that even he didn't know it was there, but it only takes so much for a spark to become a flame and a flame to become wildfire.

You had to let go of him, you had to break it. Break this damn bond that shackled you to him, break it, and return home. Ever since the war you itched to return to your own people, but stayed in Velaris because you had hoped that Azriel would choose you. It was naive and a ridiculous notion.

You remembered what you had said to your ancestor. You remembered her eyes when you asked that question. How do you break the bond? She had looked at you, sad and sombre. You knew you weren't the first witch to be soulmates with a Fae, and you wouldn't be the last to break the bridge between two souls.

You closed you eyes and with a wave of your hand, who you summoned, appeared. You opened your eyes and came face to face with none other then the suriel. It bent down to meet your eyes, and as you stood tall, folding your hands in front of you skirts, its eyes widened in recognition. "Princess-" "Queen. My mother died. But you already knew that," The Suriel was silent but nodded it's head, waiting for orders.

"I need you to tell me how to break a mating bond," Hearing that, The Suriel paused. It didn't want to tell you, after all, The Suriels prioritised their friend's wellbeing first. You had become friends with The Suriel species when you were eight, they were your friends along side you, and they were very protective. However, this was a question that you needed the answer to.

"A ritual, you can find it in your mother's library, but be careful little one, many have suffered dire consequences," The ominous warning sent chills down your spine, and you nodded. You weaved anew cloak from thin air and handed it to The Suriel, before it bowed and left. You sensed there was worry in its eyes, however, you couldn't care enough. You needed to do this.

With a wave of a hand and a flash of light, you looked around as your surroundings melted away and became something else entirely.

Home.

~*~*~*~*~

The walls were the same. So was the lighting. But the bookshelves were dusty, the table worn and on the verge of breaking, what once full of life, was now abandoned. Before the first war you had lived here, but after your people had abandoned this place, the knowledge with it. And now you needed one piece of information in the whole library.

As you scanned the endless stacks of scrolls and books upon books, stuffed onto shelves that looked like they were going to collapse under the weight of the books, you realised that you should have asked The Suriel specifically which book you needed to get. It would take forever to go through your mother's private library.

Cracking your knuckles and gritting your teeth, you approached the first shelf. This would take a while. But, it would be worth it.

The first hour went by with no luck.

The second hour you felt Azriel reach down the bond, you gently told him that you had plans and couldn't join him.

The third hour you finally found it.

"Oh for wickedness sake, it was here the whole time!?" You hissed as you realised that the spell you were looking for...was in your mother's old diary. Of course. You should have looked there first. Part of you wanted to throw the damn book across the room with how much time it took to find it. However, you calmed yourself. Now all you needed to do is get your hands on some damn salt...and a knife.

You conducted a few practice rituals to ensure that your magic was ready for the advanced spells, the sky had already darkened by the time you were ready to journey home. The journey back home was, tiring, after a full day of searching and rituals, you weren't exactly primed for spell-casting, especially not transportation spells. Then again, if you didn’t return, the night court would suspect you. So you prepared yourself for the exhaustion that would hit you the second you arrived.

But nothing would have prepared you for what greeted you the second you arrived.

Rhysand and Cassian were there…waiting. Their eyes were fuelled with anger as they stepped towards you.

“Where have you been?” Rhys demanded. Cassian stayed silent as his gaze stayed on you, surveying you for possible injuries. You fidgeted as you tried to take a stp back but you were stopped by two people behind you. Mor and Nesta.

“I was just…running errands.” “Don’t lie to me,” Rhys snapped. Your eyes shuttered. You looked down and cursed as tears began to stream down your face uncontrollably. Everything you had been keeping inside came down in waves, one after another.

Gentle hands guided you to sit as your friends surrounded you. “You can finally take control of all this, why do you hurt yourself?” Rhys prompted. You shook your head. No. There was no control in this situation. “I don’t want control, I want to let go,” You choked out, crying into the front of Mor’s dress. Nesta pulled back your hair and brushed through it, the action soothing your slightly. Rhys swore as he realised how miserable you truly were. Cassian was furious.

“I’m gonna kill Azriel,” He mumbled, but you stopped him. “No! It’s not his fault…besides, not all mates are meant to be,” You didn’t know whether you were convincing them or yourself. You only knew that you couldn’t tell them your plan. You were so…tired…

“I’m just gonna go to bed…can we do this tomorrow?” You asked. They all exchanged looks, but eventually, you were helped to your room, and it wasn’t long before you finally fell asleep.

~*~*~*~*~

“You are a child…remember…you are the descendent of the greatest kind in all on Prythian…you are their queen,” You looked away from your ancestor as you kneeled before her. “My heart tells me to stay, my head tells me to break it,” The Queen smiled as she looked down at you. It was a kind smile. Like no other, it was pure, and genuine and something in you warmed at that familial love that you missed so much. “And what of your gut?” You went silent as you looked down.

“I’m not sure…” You fidgeted again. “You know the consequences of breaking the bond, yes?” You nodded. Most witches died because of the absolute pain they went through. The only witches who could survive were those of the strongest blood. Azriel would feel the unbearable pain too but his chances of dying were slim as he was mated to a witch not a fae.

“What about your mate?” You asked her. Her face fell as her eyes seemed to flicker to hurt, sorrow. “He was a faerie…like yours…but different. He had beautiful red hair that fell to his shoulders and he could manipulate flame. I loved him…it was us against the world,” Tears seemed to fill her eyes. “We fought to be together and eventually, we were. I thought we were happy, I had four beautiful children, one was a true witch while two were fae and witch, the last on was a fae. It was two girls and two boys. We were a family..” She closed her eyes, a stray tear falling down her face.

“On day I came home early from the market with the children…and there he was. With his mistress. The fae female that his father had wanted him to marry when we first got together,” Her tone was bitter and your heart broke for your ancestor. “I left him…never heard from him again. But I do know that he ended up marrying that whore and having their own children.” She seemed to straighten. “I don’t believe that all fae males are that way…but you must understand. Just because he is you mate. Does not mean his heart will stay with you. Because we are not like them, we are witches, and for millenia we have been hunted and hated,” You nodded your understanding.

You had to remember. A comet could become a meteor. A candle could become a blaze. A male can be a monster. But when, does a ripple become a tidal wave? when does the reason become the blame? does a male become a monster?

She waved to you, dismissal as your vision of you surroundings began to darken. You were ready.

~*~*~*~*~

Dragging yourself out of bed at 3 in the morning was far from easy. But you needed to sneak out before anyone else was awake. You listened carefully to the house around you, keeping an ear open for footsteps or careful calculated breathing instead of the shallow breaths of deep sleep.

You were in the clear.

Silently, you waved a hand in the air as you summoned the portal to your home realm. It was time for you to finally...finally execute this plan. Humming, you smiled as you realised you'd finally be free. Yet something weighed down something made you want of pause and think of what could be. But as you looked into your memories, those thoughts, his heart, tears filled your eyes and you looked at your palms.

You didn’t understand. Was she prettier then you? Was it because she liked flowers not books, liked gentleness more then confidence? Was it because she was brighter? Softer on the inside? Or was it because she was still naive to the darkness of the world?

Why?

Why would the cauldron give you a mate that loved another?

That you did not know. But you sure as hell would do something about it. You drag your ass out of this bed and perform that damned spell, you would break this cursed bond then you would go home. To the people you hid so long ago. And you would rule with compassion and love. You would find peace in this chaos, find light in this dark.

A wave of your hand, an inhale and exhale. You closed your eyes for a second as you felt your surroundings shift and change, you held the book that you had grabbed tight to your chest and as you pealed you eyes open you knew exactly where you were.

The library might have restricted people from winnowing in, but faeries didn’t know how to ward of witch spells. You sifted through the pages, carefully, afraid that the book would fall apart in your hands, terrified that if you even blinked your plan would disintegrate before your very eyes.

You had to finish this.

A bag materialised from the air as you pulled out bright red sand. It was unique to your kind, specially made for rituels. This was no ordinary coloured sand. To your knowledge, specially taught witched had bathed this sand in powerful spell potions, they could be manipulated to follow any shape, as long as it was right. The sand would be able to activate the ritual, to break the bond.

You smiled as you reminisced over the lessons that you had learnt such information from, when your mother was still alive to chase you around the palace if just to make you sit down and listen for five minutes. Now, you would give anything to sit with her, to listen to her careful warnings, the soft lilt of her voice, or the firmness she held as she tried to dissuade you from doing anything mischievous. But that was a long time ago, and…she was long gone.

Your heart cracked.

You blinked back more tears as you finished pouring the last line of the symbol. It was a large circle that had symbols tracing the inside, slowly spiralling to the middle. It was very old language that loosely translated to ‘breaking mates’.

Taking a deep breath, you stepped in and as you dropped a strand of Azriel’s hair in the centre, one that you had picked up from his brush, light flashed. It was bright and it was hot, you flinched closing your eyes.

And screamed.

~*~*~*~*~

It was unbearable, the pain. It was endless, it was torture, it was everything and nothing all at the same time. You screamed louder, screamed even as your throat was dry and hurt like hell. You screamed as the pain seemed to stab you over and over again. Screamed as you fell to your knees, barely being able to handle the torture that was punishment for breaking a fated bond.

Azriel’s POV

My eyes flew open as pain began to grew in my chest. It burnt, burnt like the fire that had lit my hands up all those years ago, it speared my soul and I watched in horror as a thread seemed to be materialising from my chest, it was going somewhere.

I barely managed to stand as I stumbled through the door, hand gripping onto that thread, some part of me knew, something was wrong with Y/N.

I made it to Cassian’s room, pounding on the door even as the pain seemed to rip me apart. He opened the door after a few minutes, his eyes heavy from sleep, and I saw Nesta behind him, annoyed. But as they saw me in my state of distress, saw the bond that had somehow shown itself clear as day, they immediately jumped, Cassian rushing to support me, Nesta running to where ever the thread was leading to.

“The library! Hurry!” She hollered back at us. Cassian let me lean against him, we seemed to have woken the whole house as I heard Nyx begin to cry from all the commotion. Rhys winnowed in front of us, if looks could kill we would both be dead, but his demeanour shifted, rushing to help Cassian with my other side. Cassian grunted out the location and Rhys nodded. However, nothing in all 500 years of training could have prepared us for what we would see.

When we entered the library, my knees were ready to give out, I watched, terrified, and my gaze was hazy as I looked to see Y/N, in the middle of a spell. It had to be. I recognised the sand from the times she had been talking about her abilities. But what was she doing. My head pounded and as I read the old language that Amren had taught me, my heart dropped.

I reached out, wanting to hold on to that bond, but as Y/N looked at me, after what seemed like an eternity, through that blinding light, blood dripped down her nose.

Drip.

Drip..

Drip…

And the pain stopped as I collapsed, screaming being the last thing I hear as darkness consumed me.

~*~*~*~*~

taglist: @azriels-mate123 @penguinsworldsblog @hannahx1111 @jacksonpleasestopkillingme @positivewitch @happyseadreams @fuckthatfeeling @meritxellao @xiangping-28 @clarkie-carmody-blog @aroseinvelaris @azrielhours @shadowsinger-654 @azzydaddy @nisa-wisa @cosmic-whispers @cat-or-kitten @thecraziestcrayon @thegirlintheshadows101 @marina468 @act1839 @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @holywolfsstuff @gengen64

(If your user is in bold I could not tag you, sorry T^T if you want to be tagged please specify in the replies <3)

A/N: HAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAH HOW YA LIKE ME NOW!? I love you guys…but you really didn’t think I wouldn’t end part 3 in a cliff hanger? After part 2!? Think again :D Love you guys, thanks for all the support <33333

Part 3 out now

[noforkingclue]

Loyalties Chapter 17 (Tommy Shelby x reader x Alfie Solomons)

Alfie Solomons tag list: @hp-howartsexpress

“What’s wrong,” Harry slung an arm over your shoulders, “aren’t you happy to have your favourite brother with you?”

“You’re my only brother,” you said, shrugging off his arm, “and I don’t need looking after. Is that why Alfie sent you?”

“I know that,” said Harry, rolling his eyes, “and Alfie does as well.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I think we both know the answer to that.”

Silence fell over the two of you as the train hurtled towards Birmingham. Harry sighed and moved from his seat next to you to the one opposite you. He looked out of the window as he drummed his fingers on the seat.

“Don’t you wish,” he said eventually, “to leave this life behind?”

You glanced up from your book before sighing and putting it away. Harry gave you a brief glance before quickly looking out of the window again.

“Where has this come from?” you asked

Harry looked at the door and leant forward. He lowered his voice and said,

“Maybe I’m sick of the killing. For King and country and now for Alfie. Don’t you just want a normal life?”

“Since when have we ever had a normal life?”

“You know what I fucking mean.”

“Harry,” you said with a sigh, “Alfie’s been good to us. We owe him.”

“I know,” Harry ran a hand over his face, “is that why you’re with him? Because you owe him.”

You looked over at him sharply and Harry winced. He gave you a guilty look and said,

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Damn fucking right you shouldn’t have.”

“But I need to know- you and Alfie…”

“Yes?”

“Are you?”

“Are we what?”

“Y’know.”

“I’d rather you say it.”

Harry grunted and looked back out the window. You smirked and settled back in your seat. It was funny, Harry could kill people stone dead without even batting an eye but as soon as you mentioned your love life he got embarrassed.

“What about you?” you said teasingly, “and that corner shop girl? Oh what was her name again? Ah yes, Rachel!”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“Am I going to be a bridesmaid when you two eventually marry?”

“Only if Alfie makes me best man when you marry him.”

*

It was a quiet night as you settled back into your lodgings. Once again you had the place to yourself. Alfie had stuck Harry in some hotel somewhere in the city and gave him strict orders to keep a low profile. You took a sip of the tea you had made as you started getting ready for bed. It had been a long journey and all you wanted to do was go to sleep.

“I thought I told you that I didn’t want snipers in my city.”

You glanced over your shoulder and saw Tommy leaning against the wall. He lit a cigarette and you said,

“And who might you be talking about, Mr Shelby?”

“Mr Shelby,” he gave you a small smile and pushed himself off the wall, “I thought we were past that.”

“You thought wrong then. Even the leader of the infamous Peaky Blinders makes mistakes although I did think that you were more the kick the door down instead of picking the lock type of person. I see there’s still a lot to learn about you, Mr Shelby.”

“And you’ll soon learn that I seldom make mistakes, Ms L/n.”

Tommy stopped directly in front of you. He blew a stream of smoke into your face and you closed your eyes and inhaled deeply. When you opened them again you found yourself locked into his blue gaze. You really hadn’t seen anyone else with eyes like his. Tommy flicked the now gone out cigarette to the side and cupped your face. You knew you should pull away but you found that you couldn’t.

“I told you that you’d come back to me.”

Then he pressed his lips roughly against yours. You let out a squeak of surprise as Tommy sunk his teeth into your bottom lip. He pushed you against the kitchen counter and you tangled your fingers in his hair. You sat up on the counter and immediately Tommy stood between your legs. When the two of you broke the kiss he remained close, pressing his forehead against yours.

“Stay.” he said

“I can for now.”

“And then you’ll be back in London.”

“Yes.”

“And there’s nothing,” his hand trailed down to your waist, “I can do to persuade you to stay.”

“No,” you grabbed his wrist and pulled it away, “you can’t.”

“You weren’t saying that last time.”

Once again he captured your lips. However, there was less of the bruising possessiveness that you had come to expect from him. He ran his tongue against the seam of your lips, wanting you to give into him. Part of you was tempted. To give into those dark desires that Tommy so skillfully pulled out from you.

But you couldn’t do it.

You couldn’t do it to Alfie.

You broke the kiss and Tommy grimaced at it. He remained close and you could feel his breath fan across your face.

“I’m not going to take no for an answer.” he said

“And you know what happened to the last person who ignored that word. Mr Shelby, may I ask you something?”

“You may.”

“Why do you want me to stay here in Birmingham?”

“I thought I made that perfectly clear last time we met.”

“So it’s not just to,” you paused as you looked for the right words, “spite Alfie.”

“You think that I’d be doing something this dangerous just to spite Alfie, love?”

“Possibly. You seem like the petty type.”

“Pettiness has nothing to do with this.”

“Then what does?”

Tommy stroked your cheek with the back of his hand. You resisted the urge to lean in. Tommy smirked, almost as though he was guessing about your temptation.

“You will stay.” he said

“Alfie has asked me to,” you said, “of course I’ll stay.”

“Because he asked you to or because you want to.”

“Because I-”

You didn’t finish your sentence as Tommy pressed his lips against yours. He pressed his tongue down against yours, a sign of his domination over you.

Or his apparent domination.

You pressed your teeth down warningly on his tongue. However, Tommy just moaned at the action and your hands flew to his shoulders. You wanted to push him away. You knew that you should. Instead you found yourself slowly returning the kiss that you knew could ruin everything.

“I want you to stay,” said Tommy, when he broke the kiss, “here.”

“In this house?”

“In Birmingham.”

“Why?”

“You want me to spell it out for you?”

“I’d like for you to admit it.”

“And will you admit the same thing?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Why?”

“Because-”

You cut yourself off and pressed your head against Tommy’s chest. Tommy wrapped his arms around you, the both of you knowing the truth.

You loved Alfie.

And you… had feelings for Tommy.

“Love,” Tommy’s voice dragged you out of your thoughts, “I’m going to be having some business going on in the next couple of days.”

“Business with Alfie?”

“Not necessarily.”

He pressed a kiss against your forehead.

“I want you to lie low until it’s over.”

“I’ll go back to London-”

“No,” Tommy interrupted you harshly, “no, you’ll stay here where I know where you are. When this is over,” he walked towards the door, “we’ll talk about why you should stay in Birmingham. With me.”

[cosmicjoke]

Just adding this on, but this isn't an attempt on my part or an encouragement to harass these people, though I'm sure everyone reading this already knows that. Just a means of letting others know who's behind at least some of the harassment lately.

Alright, well, here comes the call-out post that I promised anon. Have fun with it, I guess. It's about to get long, folks. A group of @tsuki-no-ura followers, who's been obviously vague posting about me for months at this point, specifically targeting every topic I discuss on my blog by making counterarguments to it on their blog, even though I never directed any of my analysis posts or anything else at them, nor has anything I've ever written been in direct response to anything they've written, is certainly behind at least some of the harassment. And other than the times I've tried having conversations with tsuki in the past, when I used to follow them, and wanted to discuss their posts with them, which almost always went ignored, I haven't at all addressed them or made reference to them, either implied or specifically, in any of my analysis posts. I only made reference to them a few weeks back when I found out that they'd essentially said my defense of Levi's violence was tantamount to Nazism, which I wasn't going to let stand. That's the only time I've ever directly referenced them. And yet, every time I make an analysis post, a counterargument to it magically appears on their blog the same day or a few days later, something that was brought to my attention by a mutual of mine. I had no idea until a couple weeks ago that this was happening, because I stopped following them more than a year ago, and only just recently blocked them. But they're obviously stalking me. And, inevitably, every time they do this, a slew of anon hate messages get sent, both to me and various other blogs that I follow, or that follow me. This isn't a coincidence:

@clearavenuelover, @66honeybadgers, and I'm sure various other of their groupies, are the ones almost assuredly largely behind the anonymous attacks on Levi blogs over the last, several months. They start out with their passive-aggressive bullshit, and eventually, of course, it turns to outright hostility, because that's just who these people are. @clearavenuelover purposefully tagged me in one of tsuki's posts, and so obviously they're aware of their followers harassing other Levi fan blogs. This is the link to the post they tagged me and other Levi fan blogs in: https://www.tumblr.com/tsuki-no-ura/739123803956854784/okay-so-here-i-come-with-my-discourse-causing

And yet more evidence that these people all congregate in the same circles and circle-jerk each other over how they think they're "winning" some non-existent contest against me and other Levi fan blogs.

And look who liked this answer as soon as it was put up:

And here @66honeybadgers is again, name-dropping tsuki-no-ura while they continue to harass me:

And this is clearly the same douche-bag that asked me a few weeks back if I considered myself a "Levi expert", and has now, over the last two days, continued to harass me for daring to express my opinion about Levi on my own blog, dropping the "friendly" act and showing their outright hostility:

This is clear harassment from a very specific corner of the fandom, mainly, surprise, surprise, eruri shippers, or even just Erwin stans who want to make everything about him, and get angry at anyone who dares to express any different view from the ones they hold, to the point of actively seeking out and stalking our blogs, hate reading our posts, going into our inboxs and sending us anonymous hate messages, trying to cram their opinions down our throats and then getting upset when we don't listen or accept their views. And then they want to go around acting like they're all the victims. What a joke these people are. Anyway, I just thought I should make this post so that actual Levi fan blogs can know to avoid and block these assholes. I can't say if they're behind ALL of the harassment, but they're certainly behind some of it, and it's good to expose them because they're cowards, and once they've been exposed, they won't have the fucking balls to continue.

[caramelstarlight]

So like this isn't specific but what about certain stoic genshin men with a reader whoa incredibly bubbly and happy all the time.

"Someone is going to die."

"Of fun!"

Yk?

sorry for not doing anything the past week and two (haha two.)

(FUTURE ME BY LIKE 2 MINS I FORGOT THE ✅/⭐️ Your prayer is accepted friendo) (other two in progresss.)

I was going to animate the “Hey Two!” Video bc I am a fan of bfdi. (Have been ever since I was little!)

But don’t worry everything will be out today and tomorrow! (Most likely.)

if you follow me on wattpad you would’ve saw the post I put 3 days ago most likely. There’s also 6 options for me to animate on there! Feel free to look at my acc and vote. (You can also vote for one by sending a message.)

Also holy so many frames 😭

I forgot Diluc existed sorry :d

cough cough Two worlds one heart next part tomorrow cough cough (aka part 4)

*cough cough ignore that it’s coming Friday bc I forgot about picture taking cough cough*

Stoic x Bubbly

(Alhaitham, Xiao, Wanderer, Cyno (in work mode) Tighnari (He’s stoic when he’s working like Cyno) I forgot Diluc existed mb.

And my limit for requests is 4 and I decided to add Tighnari bc I realized it. (No more than 4) (No part two. Sorry for those who thought Diluc would be here :d)

under cut r the stories. : D

Alhaitham

“Alhaitham” you said as he read his book forgetting about the noise canceling stuff he had. You continued to call out his name as kaveh watched. Softly laughing at you.

Alhaitham sent a glare towards kaveh and his gaze went back towards his book. “Alhaitham isn’t fun.” He pouted as you nodded. Eventually leaving his side to go outside with kaveh. Trying to bait him into becoming more fun.

“Kaveh I don’t think this will work.” “It might but prob not.” He replied as you both waited. He didn’t come out soon and you both came up with another idea. “We should make him mad about something…”

“Like Tighnari at cynos jokes?” “Exactly. I know you make him mad but maybe it should be something about knowledge?” “Wh-hey!” He bonked you on the head as you hit him lightly. “You do have a point though.” Kaveh said afterwards.

“Where would we find a dummy in all of sumeru?” You asked knowing majority of sumeru are smart fellows.

“We just need to get lucky.” “Maybe you should try make him mad again.” “Whyyy?!” “Because you make him mad numbskull!” Hitting him again lightly as he thought about it.

“I heard you two were trying to make me mad?” You both jumped slightly as both of you turned your head to see Alhaitham. Both of you becoming nervous by the second.

“I uhhmm.” You said trying to come up with an answer that wouldn’t sound stupid to him. His gaze turned to kaveh shortly after.

“Well I accept your challenge.” “Wait what?!”

“Someone is going to die.” Both of you panicked becoming more confused.

“Of fun?” You thought out loud as he nodded. Both of you partying slightly. Finally doing something other than work and reading.

Xiao (During lantern rite)

“Xiao!” You called as he appeared by your side. Sitting at a table with Zhongli and a few adepti. His eyes widened in surprise as he quickly composed himself and sat next to Zhongli.

Playing a few games to pass the time after having lunch with everyone. Xiao managed to smile and become more happier.

When it was time to play tag (yes tag.) he was not like his usual self but still tried. “Someone is going to die.” He said as a joke. Watching people be tagged from a distance. He though someone might fall and trip.

“Of fun!” You said afterwards. Tagging yaoyao as you ran away. Watching her touch xiao as she ran. He was caught off guard and teleported to someone randomly touching cloud retainer.

“Why must one be touched for a silly game?” She said as she used her beak to touch mountain shaper. He stayed silent and ran after Moon carver.

Xiao returned to yours and Zhongli s side as you started to lose the adrenaline in your heart. Drinking water as you watched them all finish.

Wanderer

(HAHHAHAHAHHAHA MY SISTER LOST HER 50/50 TO MONAAA) (I have won none of my 50/50s *crying* (I’m serious all 5 that I had I LOST, 3 to qiqi once to Mona and once to jean. Keqing was on standard)

He watched you come inside not expecting you to be crying. He rushed to your side and asked why and who (or what) caused it.

“Someone almost poisoned me…” You told him. “And do you know who? I’ll gladly make them cry louder than you and regret their life.” (Get it?????? I’m not funny :D) “what-?” “Nothing.”

“Someone is going to die today Y/N. Just tell me their name.” “Of fun right wanderer…?” It stayed silent for a few moments as you became more nervous then sad.

“Of fun right?” You asked again clasping your hands together worrying for the person who did it to you. “Let’s put it that way…” he said as he asked you. Looking for that individual after he spent some time with you.

He was always so interested in how you were always trying to see positive sides of anything. He has witnessed cruel and unjust acts and behavior.

Cyno

“Do you wanna pull a prank on them?” Someone asked gesturing to you. “Dude are you crazy?? Almost anyone and you choose them??!” They said calming down as they drank their water after the spat it out.

“What’s wrong with them?” They asked kind of nervous of them freaking out. “That’s the General Mahamatras Partner! AKA Cyno.” Cyno listened closely as he strained his ears. Behind a wall as you talked to a friend. Unknowingly cyno was going to pull a prank on them in return.

“Pssht! He’s prob on a mission it’s not like he’s hearing us right now.” “I guess you’re right but be careful.” They replied as they began to talk. Cynos prank wasn’t going to be good but it would jump them. That’s how pranks are.

They pulled the prank and scare you from behind. Telling how they got you good. Before you smirked and stocked your tongue out. Cyno was right behind them with his usual cold gaze and activated spirit. (Basically his idol animation, the one with the polearm)

“Someone will perish for their actions against Y/N.” They both froze up and turned slightly scared and worried. “Of fun!” You perked in. They both got caught off guard as cyno laughed off the joke before giving both of them a slight cut on their bodies.

“Run.” You suggested as cyno chased them away. Coming back toward you after he had his fun. “That’s fun to you? Chasing innocent beings cyno?” You asked jokingly. “Yes. Think of it as tag but it doesn’t end as quickly as tag does.”

“Fair enough.”

Tighnari

“I swear I am going insane if one more person consumes a fungi that’s poisonous or has dangerous side effects.” Tighnari stated as you tried to calm the agitated fennec down.

“Nari it will be okay. On the bright side it teaches not too and can help you improve on your methods of healing them.” You watched as his ears and tail perked up slightly motivated him. His tail wagged slowly as he stopped his rant.

“Someone will die.” He said and caught you off guard. “What-?! Of fun I hope!” You said as he nodded. “I’m going insane I need some days offff.” He told you as he buried his face into the pillow on the couch.

“Don’t worry the others can take at least 2 or 3 days off I’m sure of it!” You played with his ears as he felt calmer. “Thank you…” He got up and sat next to you. Waiting for your hand. You placed it on his head as he melted into your touch. His tail swishing ecstatically. Finally getting a well deserved break.

You scratched behind his ears as he spoke. “I really needed this.” Beginning to become sleepy due to the amount of comfort. Soon after you heard light snores.

Laughing to yourself as you got up and gave him a blanket. Going to go help the others with their tasks and to tell them what would be planned.

(I need a two plush. Omg it looks amazing. My birthday is in November tho 😭)

[floralcyanide]

𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐀 𝐕𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧 • 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐫

Part One

Roman Bridger x AFAB!Reader

The day Roman first laid eyes on you, he knew he had to have you. There was something about you that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, and usually, he was good at reading people off the bat. But you were a different story. Naturally, you only opened up when necessary, not letting people in if you didn’t have a reason to. So you were guarded, and Roman didn’t like that. He wanted to worm his way into your life, no matter what it took. 

If that took delving into his twisted past again in order to get to you, so be it. AFAB - (assigned female at birth) someone who is born female but can identify with she/her or other pronouns. reader pronouns are gender neutral, so people who use any pronouns can read, but female anatomy will be used and described in this fanfiction eventually.

request: Please could you write a Roman x reader where she is only supposed to be an extra in his movie, but he becomes obsessed with her and starts doing whatever it takes to make her part of the main cast so he can get much closer to her. by anon.

Can you do Roman with s/o that's an actor/actress? If you don't I'll cry myself to sleep :) by @hell0r0ck

warnings: none for this part!

word count: 1300

author's note: sorry it's kinda short, but I felt it was a great place to naturally stop. I do want this to be a few parts long, so we shall see how long it gets lol! thank you to those who sent in requests (: I'm happy to be writing for the Scream fandom again <3 if you enjoy this and want me to continue, please reblog/ like/ comment!

series masterlist | masterlist | add yourself to the taglist here

this fic has been cross posted to ao3.

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.

You’re about to do a simple audition process in order to be an extra in the new Stab movie. There’s not much to it- just getting into hair, makeup, and costume and then blending into the background when ordered to do so. You’re pretty good at becoming invisible already, but you’re still nervous. The movie's director is attractive, in your humble opinion, and he’s the one who conducts the auditions. So you’re most anxious about doing something embarrassing in front of him. In your self-absorbed imagination, you hope, for whatever reason, the director notices you out of everyone here. But the chances of that happening are astronomically low.

You’re in an area full of other random people auditioning to be extras, possibly around fifty people altogether, solidifying why you won’t be so much as blinked at. You managed to snag a seat earlier when you arrived before people began pouring into the studio. You’re squirming in the chair anxiously, switching which leg to cross over the other often, and playing with your hair without noticing. 

“Are you okay?” someone from next to you whispers.

You glance over to your right and see a small girl around your age studying you with concern. 

You nod, “I’m fine. Just kinda nervous.”

“I can tell,” the girl smiles gently, offering a hand, “I’m Sage.” 

“Nice to meet you. I’m (Y/N).”

“Is this your first time auditioning?” Sage asks, her eyes curious of your answer.

“Nope,” you shake your head, “I’ve been in plenty of shows and movies.”

“Then why are you so worried? You’ve got this!” the chipper blonde grins.

You hesitantly chuckle and lean in closer to her to whisper, “I think the director is cute.”

“Roman? He’s alright. Not my type, but he’s really nice! I’ve worked with him before.”

“Really?” you raise your eyebrows, intrigued to learn more about Roman now that you know his name.

“Yeah, he directed some shitty horror movie about a year ago, and I was one of the random bystanders that got killed. He always made sure all the extras were the best they could be. I doubt half of these people here will make it because he’s really picky,” Sage rambles.

“Good to know,” you say, now even more nervous than before.

The room suddenly hushes, and everyone looks in one direction at whoever caused the silence.

“Welcome to Stab 3, everyone! I’m Roman, and I’m the director. Let’s get started.”

Everyone is ordered to a set where we all stand aimlessly and talk to each other or walk around. According to Roman, anyone breaking their character or not looking convincing enough will get booted. Upon his signal to begin, we all take random places around the set and pretend to be nobody. Piece of cake. There are placeholders for the actual main actors reciting lines for the scene we’re practicing to make it more natural. You avoid your eyes from anyone specific other than Sage, pretending to be deep in conversation with her. Roman walks around the set like a ghost, dismissing people here and there. He has a hand on his chin, rubbing it inquisitively as he studies everyone he passes. A group of girls giggles at Roman when he walks by them, to which he then dismisses them off the set. You avert your eyes back to Sage quickly before he notices. In your vision field, you can see him walking in your direction.

Sage notices your staring and looks at you knowingly before learning her throat, “So have you heard?” 

“Heard what?” you say, trying to remain in character the best you can as Roman inches ever closer.

“There’s a masked killer on the loose,” Sage looks around nervously, quieting her voice.

“Seriously?” you furrow your eyebrows, half wondering if she was actually serious or if she was just playing her part, “Do they know who it is?”

Sage shrugs as Roman stands by the two of you, watching with a slight gleam in his eye, “No one does. We just have to make sure to stay safe. So if you go anywhere, don’t go alone.”

“I wouldn’t be caught dead anywhere alone,” you chuckle, rolling your eyes playfully, “No pun intended.”

Roman stifles a laugh, “Good job, you two. I’ll see you on the real set soon,” he winks.

You look at Sage with wide eyes as he walks away, and she pats your shoulder with a smile, “I told you that you had this in the bag! Besides, I know Roman enough to know that he thinks you’re cute.”

You try not to snort, “And how do you know that?”

“He’s still staring at you.”

Trying your best to look casual, you scratch your neck and turn around slowly, darting your eyes around to avoid direct contact with Roman. Your eyes land beside his face, where you can see him sneaking a peek at you before turning away.

“Told you,” Sage snickers, “Now come on, let’s blow this popsicle stand now that we have the parts.”

The two of you head over to the area where other extras which have been accepted are sitting. There are about 20 of you, while a measly 10 remain on the set. After 15 minutes, 5 more dwindle over to where you and Sage sit and converse.

“Alright, my extras,” Roman smiles as he approaches the group of you, “I’ll see you bright and early on the actual set tomorrow at seven sharp. Don’t be late.”

Everyone cheers and talks amongst themselves as you and Sage stand up from your seats, brushing yourselves off before making your way to the exit.

“You two,” Roman stops you both right at the stage door, “I’ll be keeping an eye on you. You guys seem too good to be extras.”

“Roman, you know good and well your team wouldn’t allow some random extras to be in the main cast. So keep dreaming, pretty boy,” Sage rolls her eyes with a laugh, “We’ve been down this road before. I’m not into major acting.”

“What about them?” Roman points to you, and you nervously cave in on yourself momentarily under his direct gaze.

“Uh,” you stutter, looking between Roman and Sage, “I don’t know. I guess I’ll see how it goes tomorrow first,” you shrug.

“Alright,” Roman grins, “See you tomorrow.”

You nod, suppressing a smile. Once Roman is out of earshot, Sage squeals quietly.

“You two so like each other,” she giggles, pushing the door open.

“Remind me to block your number when I get home,” you say jokingly.

The following morning, you try your best to refrain from rubbing your tired eyes after having makeup applied to them. You’re standing at the coffee cart on set, clutching a cup of hot liquid as your eyes gloss over. Someone walks into your peripheral, waving their hand in front of your face.

“Are you there, sweetheart?”

Snapping out of it, you squeeze your eyes shut quickly before blinking rapidly to clear your vision. Roman is standing in front of you in a flattering button-up, a small smile on his lips.

“Sorry, just a little sleepy this morning,” you laugh nervously, pulling the cup of coffee closer to your chest before taking a cautious sip.

“That’s alright. It’s a slow day today, not much to film with many extras, so if you want, you can chill out on the sidelines,” Roman suggests, and you shake your head.

“Nope, I’m here to work. I’ll wake up here soon,” you take a large gulp of the hot, caffeinated beverage.

“A good attitude to have!” Roman grins, patting your shoulder, “See you on set later, then!”

Little did you know, you’d see Roman more than just on set. And he’d be seeing you everywhere you went. Everywhere all the time.

[whalyrae]

DANCE WITH ME CHAPTER 1

“If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.”

Summary : All your life, you thought you were a beta, a simple and boring beta. Until everything change. But now that you've presented yourself as an omega, how will you manage to live and hide it from your six friends and best friend, all alphas and all in the same pack? (a/n : I'm a shit for summary I'm so sorry-)

Genre : soulmate au (of course I'm a bitch for this), omegaverse, bangtan alphas au!, omega reader, fluff, angst, eventual smut, polyamory relationships

Status : In process

Word Count : 2.5K

Warnings : the usual one I guess, like smut, angst, fluff (yeah its a warning for some people ) mention of depression, abusive parents (physically and morally), violence and blood, PTSD, scars, self harm,...

A/N : finally have the courage to post this (again) ! Hope y'all will enjoy it  🥺 this is my first omegaverse fic, I took a lot of points from the omega verse, and modified some of them to my liking hehe  ps : sorry for any mistakes (again yeah), english is not my first language !  💜

Masterlist | ao3 | wattpad

Chapter 2

☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ ☾ 

At first, it was only the two of you. Jimin and you. You were friends since High School and meet each other at the dance club. You always admired Jimin’s dance skills. After months of hesitation, you finally had the courage to ask him for advice. One thing led to another and you became inseparable. You had even taken the dance school entrance exams together. 

You wanted to go to the same one, why not do it together ?

To the world, the answer seemed logical. Jimin was an alpha, You were a beta.

Betas were ordinary and generally reclusive among themselves because of their low chance of breeding with alphas and omegas.

Coming from a wealthy, worldly background, you had therefore spent much of your life being snubbed and demeaned by the alphas or avoided by the omegas. You had noticed that this separation between classes was even more reinforced in the upper class, bordering on the aristocracy, of which you were technically a part.

Your parents had sent you to a public school from an early age, from nursery school to high school. That's where you met Jimin, who had the same mentality as you.

That was all that mattered to him. 

After both of you had been accepted into the same school and knowing that you would have to leave Busan for Seoul, the question of housing came up.

It was natural for you to become roommates. The salary and living costs would be cut in half and you would have someone you could trust near you if you needed it. That was all you needed to make the decision.

Your parents had been reluctant at first, but as their youngest daughter was a simple beta from an alpha family, the treatment you had received in your life from your parents had always been more careless than your siblings. So you didn't have much difficulty persuading them. 

You had a new life ahead of you. Away from your families, accepted in the school of your dreams, the most prized and reputed in the country, to be able to learn and practice your passion as much as you wanted.

And that's during the holidays before you started dance school that Jimin met Taehyung, also an alpha. 

When you met Jimin again a few weeks before they started school and moved into your apartment, Taehyung introduced himself. He was the same age as Jimin and you and worked at a florist. It was love at first sight.

You noticed right away that they were made for each other. And before you met the others, you were even sure that they were soul mates.

Soon, classes started and you found yourselves in the same group where you met Jungkook and Hoseok.

Jungkook was two years younger than you and had managed to get into the school on a scholarship. A young prodigy like you rarely see.

Hoseok was probably the most talented dancer you and Jimin have ever met. He was a year older, but had spent a year in the United States perfecting his skills before entering this school.

Jimin, Jungkook and Hoseok quickly became friends. You took longer, being more reserved than your best friend. And then as a beta, you had always had trouble with alphas, because of your experiences with some of them. 

But Jimin had quickly changed your mind about them. A lot of the students here didn't come from posh backgrounds like you, the mentality was different. 

Well, unfortunately, it wasn't true for everyone.

There was that day when two second-year alphas decided to torment you. They said that as a beta like you, you didn't belong in such a prestigious school, which was completely wrong. 

Status was of little importance here, only talent. These guys were pretty well known among the first years. They were always bullying the betas and sometimes even the omegas.

Jungkook and Hoseok had intervened. They happened to be walking through the corridors when they heard the two students and recognized you. They intervened and defended you. 

That day you knew that once again Jimin had been right and that he was rarely wrong about people. 

It was on that day that you really became friends with them.

Yeah, Jimin was right. Not all alphas were like these two guys, or the guys in their high school, or your family.

Being the only beta in a family of alphas was not easy. When you didn't show any signs of being an alpha, your family became colder and more distant than they normally were. Coming from an upper class, it was out of the question for your parents to show that their daughter was just a beta, an ordinary person.

You kept asking yourself why you still went home several weekends a month. You couldn't count the number of times you returned to the shared flat on Sunday nights in a pitiful state. Jimin and Taehyung had stopped counting the number of times they had found you crying, sometimes even with minor injuries on your face. But you couldn't afford to cut ties with your family just yet, you couldn't afford it. You were going to live in this hell for some time yet, until you could fully emancipate yourself.

Or until they were the ones to throw you out.

There was still one thing you couldn't stand about alphas. Their auras. They all had this overpowering aura about them that weighed on you. Even more with your housemates. You knew they couldn't help it, they were like that. 

You had always believed that it was unique to alphas, that every beta and every omega felt that way.

It wasn't the case, but you didn't know that yet.

Jimin aura had never bothered you, on the contrary, you had always found it soothing and comforting. Perhaps because you had always had this fusional relationship with each other and because you had known each other for so long. As for Taehyung, Jungkook and Hoseok, let's just say that you got used to them over time. 

Unlike the other alphas you were around, they did not seek any kind of domination over you, conscious or unconscious. They considered you, and every other beta and omega, as their equals. 

A few months after school started, Taehyung had moved into your apartment. Anyway, he was still there. Things had happened naturally to a point where neither Jimin nor even you realized it. And that hadn't bothered you. 

Their neighbors, an old lady, had also moved out. It didn't even take a month for new neighbors to move in. There were three.

When they had come to introduce themselves, Yebin had to use all the force in the world not to laugh at the situation.

Three more alphas.

Kim Namjoon, Min Yoongi et Kim Seokjin.

The first one ran a library. He was without doubt the most impressive alpha you had met so far. He didn't need to speak to earn his respect. But he was still a lovely person... and very clumsy.

Yoongi and Seokjin worked together. Seokjin ran a rather famous café in town while Yoongi was the pastry chef.

Unlike Seokjin, who, with Hoseok, was probably one of the most adorable and caring people on earth, you had some difficulty in sympathizing with Yoongi. It was true that despite his size, this guy was very intimidating. Cold on the outside, you quickly learned that a very warm personality was hiding behind him.

In the meantime and for the sake of convenience, as the dance school was close to the building, Jungkook and Hoseok had moved into the apartment above yours.

Something strange had happened between those seven boys. You quickly felt that a certain chemistry had developed between them. You could never explain why. Every weekend, when you came home, you felt that they were all getting closer and closer. You didn't have to be an Alpha or an Omega to feel it.

It was like they have always known each others. 

Weeks passed, the bonding continued, and what had to happen, happened.

You didn't know when they became a pack, but it happened.

Honestly, you didn't see it coming. Taehyung and Jimin were already a couple after all. But later you learned that Namjoon, Seokjin and Yoongi were one, too, long before they became your neighbors.

You didn't really understand, and you didn't try to understand. It was an alpha thing. As a beta, you were part of the normal people, you didn't care about all that. In fact, you didn't mind it at all. Whether they were a couple of two, three or even seven, as long as no one suffered and they were happy, especially Jimin because he was your best friend, that was all that mattered to you.

But the question had been: did you still belong in that apartment, with them ? Surrounded by all those alphas connected to each other ?

One Friday evening, before leaving for the weekend, you asked them. They were all together in their living room.

They were all surprised, as if what you had just asked them was the most absurd thing they had ever heard.

“Why would you leave?” asked Hoseok.

“That's right, we don't want you to go ! I don't want you to go !” Jimin was quick to embrace you, his head resting on your shoulder, “aren't you happy here?”

“Yes, I am! Of course Chim, it's not that, it's just that- ”

“Because we're an alpha pack, and you're a beta?” Namjoon had finally stood up and approached you, “this is bullshit, you're our friend, y/n. You're one of us and you're a beta. You're one of us and you belong here, as much as any of us. If we've made you feel uncomfortable about something, I'm sorry.”

“But you don't have to leave!” Jungkook clung to your arm, his doe eyes meeting yours, “we like having you with us, don't go Noona, please!”

You had sighed, before smiling.

“I'm the one who's sorry, I thought that since you're... a pack you know, my presence might interfere and I don't want to…”

“You're not interfering with anything, don't worry.” Namjoon ruffled your hair, as you saw the others nodding at his words.

Namjoon was sort of the leader of the pack. Even with you, he would always have the last word. You trusted him. You nodded in turn, and kissed Jungkook's cheek before reaching for your bag.

“So forget what I said, okay? Ah, you're going to have your ruts soon by the way, right?”

These seven were so fusional they'd managed to get them at the same time, well, that's what they were saying, you couldn't make any sense of it anyway.

“Let me know when it's over,” you'd pointed your phone before putting it in your pocket, “it's not that I don't want to be smothered in your alpha pheromones and... hear you guys doing whatever it is you're doing to relieve yourself but... I really don't.”

Your ironic tone and grimace made them laugh. You gave Jimin a final hug and greeted the other alphas before leaving the apartment.

Mating season, yes. You were a beta, you had nothing to do with it. You should have stayed with your parents. The house they lived in was big enough for you to avoid them and your brother and sister. You would stay in her room, work on new choreographies, you had even taken with you some books that Namjoon had recommended. In short, you had plenty to do.

You were just a beta. What could go wrong ?

The night at your family's house, while you were lying in your king-size bed, the first heat wave took possession of your body. It was not the first one you had felt in your life, although this one was more violent than the others. But soon a second, more intense heat wave came, then a third, and a fourth. 

When you had wanted to move and the simple friction of your (surprisingly wet) thighs between them made you moan... when the only thought that crossed your mind was that you needed something inside you, now. 

Something big. 

Something that could fill you up. 

With your eyes closed, you had had a vision of a certain person, someone you knew all too well, leaning over you, his gaze piercing your being. 

Jimin. 

At that moment you felt that something was wrong.

Betas weren't supposed to be in heat. You knew that. You'd learned that in class. Yet your symptoms... no. That couldn't be it. You didn't want to believe it.

You had no choice but to call your mother. First, she gave you some suppressants to calm you down. She then calmly explained that there was nothing much to say or do.

It was rather exceptional, but it could happen in rare cases that the first heat of an omega could be triggered very late, when an omega denied being one or when it was submitted to a strong pressure or a very big stress. This was logical for you because of the family you had lived with all your life and the constant pressure they put on you. 

You realized then that you were not a beta at all, as you, and everyone else for that matter, had thought.

On the top of that, your mother urged you to come to their house less often when the season ended. You had never seen so lacking in love and compassion in someone's eyes. The pain of this new rejection was made worse by the fact that it came, once again, from your own mother.

Were you really that disgusting now that you turned out to be an omega?

You suddenly thought of the boys. Of course, you were thinking about them, how could you not ? Since the beginning of your... heat, Jimin wasn't the only one who invaded your mind in visions... anything but innocent. 

Panic suddenly surged through you. 

Shit. You were an omega. 

An omega who lived with alphas. 

An omega surrounded by alphas. 

Alphas who thought you were just a beta. 

How would they react when they found out?

Probably like your mum. They'd end up rejecting you, too. They would be upset at you for not telling them. They would act differently and end up hating you too. You couldn't bear the thought of them looking like your mother, of Jimin rejecting you too. The thought of that hurt even more than the damn heat.

No, you couldn't tell them.

It was simple. You had to make sure you continued to act like a beta.

For your next heat, you would just improvise.

Yes, it was simple, wasn't it? What could go wrong?

It wasn't like you were thinking of them as alphas. Absolutely not.

Seven alphas were waiting for you at home...

Lying in your bed, you curled up on yourself. You were sure they could fill you up perfectly, each in their own way.

You squeezed your thighs and caught your hand between them, which made you moan again. 

"Fuck..."

Yeah, maybe you were in trouble.

[atcarpenter]

Can You Still Stand What I’ve Become?

Amber confessing to being the killer. Kind of tamber, but like sad tamber with more of an exes breaking up (again) vibe (sorry)

///

It was immediately obvious something was wrong when Amber came into Tara’s hospital room and sat down by the bed. Instead of saying hello, Tara simply took her hand and asked, “What’s wrong? Did something happen to you?”

“I have to tell you something,” Amber said in lieu of an answer.

Tara rubbed her thumb along the back of Amber’s hand. “What is it?” The gesture almost made Amber want to go back on her decision to tell her and pray that, somehow, Tara would never find out. 

“It’s, uh – Fuck ...” She thought through all the ways she had come up with to start the conversation, but now that she was here, they all felt wrong to her. Eventually, she just looked up into Tara’s eyes and said, “I’m the killer.”

“What?” Tara laughed.

“I stabbed you.”

Tara’s smile faltered the longer she watched Amber, waiting for any sign that she was messing with her, but it didn’t come. 

“What?” Tara repeated, without laughing this time around.

“I cut your side. I stabbed you right here,” – she ran her finger along the exact spot which sent waves of nausea through Tara – “then I broke your leg, and I watched you bleed and –”

“Stop.” Horror started to creep onto her face. “No.” Tara’s voice was firm. “No. There is no wa–”

“You gave me this.” Amber pulled her jacket aside and the collar of her shirt down to reveal a dark bruise below her collar bone. Tara pulled her hand out of Amber’s. Amber wanted to swallow the lump in her throat, failing visibly. “I still remember every single one of your screams.”

“What the fuck.” Tara felt the sudden prickling of tears in her eyes. Tooth and nail, she fought the truth dripping from the girl’s teeth, but it didn’t matter how hard she tried. She couldn’t change her actions just by wishing it to be a lie. When she felt that the silent war with her own thoughts was futile, she asked, “If you did stab me, then why tell me now? Why tell me at all? Why not just kill me? I’m right here. I can’t run. You could kill me right now.”

“I never wanted to kill you. That was never the idea. I’m telling you now because I – It wasn’t just me. My, uh – My new boyfriend is in on it too,” – Tara felt pained at hearing that she had a new boyfriend – “and now he wants to kill you next.” Something inside Tara shattered. “I tried to talk him out of it, but – he wants to see you dead so bad because he’s jealous that I’m still –“ She cut off. “I never meant for you to get hurt this bad, and now he wants to kill you. He realised that I’m still stupidly in love with you, and wanting to talk him out of it only made him more jealous. I’m so sorry. So, now I’m here to tell you that you have to stay away from Richie.”

Tara gave her the most dumbfounded look. “Sam’s boyfriend?!”

“That was all fake, to get her back here.”

 “Why?!”

“It doesn’t matter anymore why.”

“Yes, of course it does!”

Amber glanced at her hand that Tara had previously been holding. “I wanted to hurt the people who hurt you, and I had to hurt you to get Sam back into town.”

“Why …? Why Sam?”

Her features hardened, and Amber said, “To give her what she deserved for what she did to you. She had it coming.”

“What she deserved? What the fuck did she do wrong? She didn’t fucking deserve this shit!” she spat.

Amber glanced up at her. “Hey. I was there. I saw how much it fucking hurt you when she left. I see how much that still fucks you up, and I see how much your fucking mom keeps hurting you and walking all over you like you’re a carpet.”

“Wow, thanks,” Tara scoffed.

“Hey, Tara, listen. Listen to what I'm saying.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I hear you, all right. You’re doing this all to protect me. Right? That's what this is all about. You’re some knight in shining armour, saving me from every monster in the world. I get it.”

“That Vince guy? I didn’t know who he was until Liv fucking told me that he worked with you. You told me that he fucking molested you when you worked that summer.”

“Okay, that's taken way out of context.”

“No, it isn't. He groped you at work. He tried to get you to 'take a trip in his new car'. We both know where the fuck that would have went.”

“Yeah, but it didn't.”

“But he would have. And he did that all summer long. Fuck, if you’d told me sooner, I'd have killed him then.”

“Amber.”

“Fuck, Tara, you were sixteen, and he was like who knows how old. Urgh, killing him felt so good. That he was related to the killings a few years back was pure coincidence, but it was a nice cover. I guess in this town everyone is related to them somehow.”

“And what about Wes, huh? What did he do. He was good. What was so wrong about him?”

“The way he looked at you. I just couldn't stand it. Tara, you’re mine. No one else's. And he was the sheriff's kid. If he hadn't been, I would not have killed him, but it – That gave me the excuse I wanted to kill him for wanting you just as much as I do. 

“What the fuck. He was my friend.”

“He was mine too.” Tara scoffed. “But I had to use him to get to the sheriff, and even without her, he would have been the only one who was a real threat to me. He was the only one with a brain in his city apart from you ... and Sam now that she's back. It didn't feel good to kill him ... but it felt good that he would never lay eyes on you again. That I would never have to watch him look at you too long again. That his eyes would never linger on all the places that would kill me if he ever got to touch them. That there would never be a chance that you would someday realise just how in love that puppy was with you and you would end up with him. I was in fear of that every moment since I broke up with you, and it killed me.”

“He never male-gazed me.” 

“Yeah, and that was the problem." She looked at Tara hard. "Because that meant that he had an actual chance with you. He was so good that he was actually competition. The rest were just gross, but he ... he was good enough for you. And that – It broke me that he was better for you than I could ever be.”

“Two weeks ago ... I would have told you that no one could ever be better than you – and then you went and killed everyone I ever loved or tried to. You would have killed Sam too, wouldn’t you have? And my mom.”

“Yeah, I would have killed Sam too. I didn’t expect her to come through for you the way she did. I really thought she didn’t give two shits about you, but now I see that she's everything I would have liked to be for you, only more composed ... Jury's still out on your mom though.”

“You fucking stabbed me – in the guts, you fucking bitch, I could have died!”

“I never meant to kill you. I didn't even mean to hurt you that bad. I just – It was ... my first time," – she cringed at how that sounded – "and it was you. I was scared and high on adrenaline, and I was not thinking clearly anymore by the time I actually had my arm around your neck. I just acted on impulse. I didn't mean to stab you in any organs. I didn’t have the control anymore to stab you only where it is safe. I didn’t mean to break your leg either. I just wanted to slow you down.”

“I'm going to be sick.”

“Sorry.”

“Fuck you. And then the hospital –”

“I didn’t hurt you in the hospital.”

“You didn’t hurt me in the hospital, my ass! I tore open all of my stitches and wheeled like a fucking wounded rabbit through that entire floor, trying to get away from you. Do you know how much that hurt? And my leg? That fucking hurt, and you were going to fucking kill me.”

“I wouldn’t have hurt you.”

“Yeah, right.”

“I wouldn’t have. I promise.”

“Fuck you. I’m so glad you broke up with me. If you weren’t the killer, I’d hope he got you next.” Amber reached out a hand. “Don't fucking touch me.” Uncertainly, she put her hand back in her own lap.

“I don't regret what I did. I only regret hurting you. And maybe Wes, a little bit. And now you know. Now you know everything. Now you only have to decide where that leaves us.”

“Us? Where that leaves us? Amber, you stupid – There is no us. There will never be an us. You don't understand how fucked up you are. The only way I will ever be close to okay again is if I will never have to see your face ever again.”

Amber nodded. “Okay.” She stood up and leaned down to Tara. Tara flinched away but tried to stay as still as she could, not wanting to show her any fear. Amber held the side of her head and pressed a soft kiss to Tara's temple.

"I love you," she said like she had probably a hundred times, meaning it each time. 

"I hate you."

Then, Amber turned and left, leaving a suffocating silence in her wake that was only interrupted by Tara’s shallow breathing, growing more erratic by the second.

Not long after, Sam entered with a confused look on her face,

“What the fuck was that about? She looked like she was ready to cry?”

“God, I hope so.”

“Did something happen?”

“Richie is the killer. If he wants to kill me, I'll be right here.” She turned her back to Sam, curling in on herself and wincing at the pain that the motion brought. She ignored everything Sam said or asked. When Sam finally left, she let her tears flow.