#sorry but that's the funniest possible tag I can put on this

[almayver]

Alma dear, you’ve said that you’ve been on the jealous peem train for a long time. How do you think he’d act? What are the most juicy scenarios you can conjure with jealous peem?

Hey Cole! So yep, i’ve been in the Jealous Peem train for months now, but the funniest thing is I actually have no concrete idea?

Because the thing is, I don’t think Peek would know how to act either. He has probably only ever felt like mild envy towards Qs talent and things like that, but this? This has this weird tint of possessiveness to it that I don’t think he would know how to handle. And I think that’s what would make it interesting. Because you know our boy loves open communication, but it's hard to communicate when you don’t fully understand your feelings and when you feel like you shouldn’t be having them, right?

Ok this turned into a full-blown rant and doesn't make total sense but, putting it under the read more so I don't put a wall of text in the tag

So exploring that, I also believe it would be very specific. Like someone says that Phum is handsome and/or compliments him? Yeah, Peem at most rolls his eyes because yeah his boyfriend is the most beautiful person on earth, and he is great, those are just facts, actually more people should be saying it. Someone flirts with Phum? Well that’s just funny to him, they would probably make Phum flustered and Peem loves to tease his boyfriend. Also, he is just so secure on his boyfriend’s feelings that the fear would never be that Phum is going to leave him or find someone better. So what would make Peem jealous?

Well, jealousy at its core is about insecurities, right? So possible scenarios here that would make Peem feel weird (jealous Peem, you feel jealous)

The first one is a soft, fluffy friendship one! Peem is very much someone that is very good at comforting people, and with the comment of “You made me feel I couldn't be your comfort zone” we know how important that is to him, specially with Phum. But maybe down the line Phum feeling like shit for whatever reason and Q is the one to comfort him for some reason, maybe Peem is busy (I'm never leaving the Q-Phum besties agenda, I live there actually). And the fun element here would be the warring emotions of being so fucking happy that not only two very important people in his life are so close and comfortable with each other, but also the fact that this means Phum is not lonely and has so many people in his corner and that is the best thing he could hope for.

But. But there is this weird thing in his head that feels weird, this pure want of being the one that comforts Phum, the one that knows exactly what to say to make him feel better. And I think he would have that spiral of “what if I'm not good enough support for him, what if I'm a bad boyfriend, am I a bad friend and boyfriend for even thinking like this”. And he is maybe a little bitter, but he hates feeling like that. Eventually of course both Phum and Q would notice and be like “dummy, come on”, Q would probably actually call him dumb, while Phum would just go full puppy eyes and reassure him and also say something like “Honestly Q mostly calms me by talking about you.”

Ok got sidetracked by friendship feelings there sorry not even sure if that counts as jealousy, but I had to get that scenario out there

The others would be a bit more classic silly jealousy, I think.

So the second one that came to mid would come from how different their fields of study are. Imagine Phum working on a project being very excited talking about it (I was going to give an example, but I did 5 years of engineering and I still have no clue what civil engineers do so idk vague project it is) and it all sounds like Greek to Peem and Phum is scared that he is boring him so he stops rambling about it. But then Peem sees Phum talking with other engineering students, and it's just *sad kitten noises* because he doesn't know enough to talk like that with his boyfriend, and he is jealous of everyone that gets his attention in this very specific way that he can't get. (He later realizes that Phum feels the same way when he talks with Q about art and throughout their relationship they both just learn to listen to the other talk even when they don't fully understand and accept that the other just likes to hear them talk about things that they are passionate about)

The final one, tho? That's the one i crave. Because you know what I think would make Peem weirdly possessive and go all “MY puppy”? Someone making Phum laugh.

Phum, mister “casual small smirk 90% of the time but when I fully smile it looks like the sun came out”. They are maybe out in a bar or a party or whatever, and Phum goes for drinks or something and Peem is talking with the group about something when he hears Phum's laughter. And he stops and perks up like a meerkat because I'm sorry what. That sound normally only occurs when Phum is near him what is happening, something isn't right in the universe. And he looks towards the direction of the sound a Phum is cracking up because of some stranger and Peem is SEETHING, and he doesn't understand why, but he is angry and bitter and petty (everyone in the group is completely amused, they have never seen him like this)

But how would he react to that weird bitter feeling? Because i feel like even with the jealousy, he would never be mean or rude to someone that isn't doing something wrong. And also he wouldn't accuse Phum of anything because he knows that he would only feel sad. So I think he would go the other direction and basically do the equivalent of marking his territory. Like he suddenly ups the devoted attentive boyfriend thing to 200%, and he turns into a clingy koala. And he just keeps trying to make Phum smile and laugh because dammit, that pretty smile is his thanks. That is his personal sunlight, thank you very much. (Phum is delighted and just keeps smiling like the sun which just makes Peem want to make him smile even more, its a very fun cycle) But idk, that's a possibility.

(There's another more elaborate scenario that keeps bouncing around in my head that maybe ill turn into a fic but if it stays a half formed idea ill throw it in your inbox dear)

...that was A LOT. Thanks for sending this ask Cole that turned into a fun thought experiment.

[ashmp3]

closing #heyteo 💌

i want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart who's ever tagged me in their posts! i can't put it into words how grateful i am for having such talented, sweet people around me that wanted to share their beautiful creations with me. i cherish them all and i hope yapping in my tags conveyed that. Honestly i could talk about them in great lengths (and mostly i did...) so this is why i feel like i think its right time to wrap this up - i feel bad when i can't sit down, talk my ass off and give my full attention to each and every single post. Sadly i don't think its possible for me to do it now which is why i am writing all this, with a tear in my eye honestly. I checked and saw i have 925 (and counting!) posts in this tag and first of all - that is CRAZY! I am so grateful you have no idea. I really, really cherished this little corner of the internet that i called my own so this is all bittersweet but i think it's for the best! Lastly, i don't plan on going anywhere just yet so of COURSE feel free to tag me in anything you think i shouldn't miss (especially Jeonghan and your selfies... of course) - you already know a block of tags will be coming your way! And for being my amazingly talented friends i wrote little thank-you notes for everyone that made #heyteo one of the best decisions i made on tumblr 💌 I appreciate you all SO so so so much!

@jeonwonwoo -> my angel and the reason i even made this tag miss zaynab! We would be here for weeks if i started talking about how thankful i am for your existence. My no1 source of Jeonghan gifs, someone who perfectly matches my freak - thank you the MOST! (And ofc you can still expect me to go on tangents under your gifs i mean... that's what this blog is all about!) Love you!🩷🫶🏼

@kimsuyeon -> my talented lili, with the most wonderful gifs that are just so YOU! Always so wonderfully curated and colored, your idol + era collection is for the HERstory books if you ask me. Thank you for sharing them with all of us. i am so happy to have you around and i am thankful that you have been one of Thee contributors to #heyteo 🫶🏼🩷

@pink-vacancy -> i think it wouldn't be wrong to call you my yuna and mina supplier 🤭 cherry yuna is for the history books and you are the biggest contributor to that fact! thank you so much for always tagging me and making my tag a tad bit spicier and sexier with the gorgeous, stunning women you gif! love you and appreciate you SO much 💌🍒🫶🏼

@scouped -> MAX you are such an integral part of #heyteo through your many sideblogs and i am always so so sooo grateful for it! i love everyone but of course i love svt just a tad bit more so seeing your sets always made me so giddy and excited 🫶🏼 again, one of the people that really pushed me to make this tag in the first place so i want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. love you!!! 💖🌟

@vcrnons -> j!!! my dear sweet darling J that wanted to kill me on more than one occasion. thank you so much for tagging me and sorry for all the things i said under your gifs its like they hypnotize me... And ofc i am excited to be annoying under your tags in the future 🫶🏼💖💖💖

@scoupsies -> my naya funniest sweetest most talented darling... You've been thee highlight of my user tag - and i promise i will still be yapping under your gifs like how could i not?! you best believe i will be checking you blog so i don't miss anything because well that would just be devastating for me. thank you so much for tagging me i love you & appreciate you SO much!!! 🫶🏼🩷💌

@neonsbian -> my wayv supplier and source of updates 🤭 thank you so much vinnie, for always tagging me in everything so far & i always enjoyed seeing my twin yangyang in the tag (for better or worse) 💖

@no1boa -> lulu! absolute master of gifs thank you SO much for always tagging me in your dreamy, beautiful creations. honestly i will miss them SO much... so expect me to go through your blog like a morning newspapers and look for new sets 🙂‍↕️🫶🏼🤍

@taeiltual -> i always say this in the tags but every single company would benefit from a BexTM master class on editing! Thank you so much for sharing your works and thank your for tagging me 🤍🫶🏼🌟

@facethesuns -> em your posts always make me feel like ground is shaking... Thank you so much for tagging me in your stuff & of course i am excited to keep yapping in the tags in the future 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️💖

@ningtual -> MY SUNWOO SUPPLIER oh henna this is for the better or worse because my blood pressure rises whenever i see him... thank you for tagging me in your beautiful aespa edits (and nunulino...) love you mwah mwah!!! 🫶🏼🩷

@talksaxy -> even though we haven't been mutuals for a long time, whenever you would tag me in sungchan you best believe i would kick my feet and get giddy... thank you so much for adding a beautiful fawn touch to my tag! & ofc expect me to be in your tags either way, and yeah this kinda reads as a threat but you can't blame me really can't you... thank you sooo much. mwah! 🫶🏼🌟💖

@28reas0ns -> oh wwill first of all i want to say i love your vision and how we both sometimes make similar connections... You have such an eye for the aesthetics and it was such an honor to seen every post you made so thank you SO much for tagging me it truly meant so much to me 🫶🏼💖🤍💖🤍

@isabelleadjani -> first of all thank you for using it for its intended purposes (selfies!!!). and second of all thank you for tagging me in your beautiful, gorgeous gifs. You always go one level up and its so evident in the way you present your sets. I would still love to get tagged in your selfies of course thats a no brainer really 🫶🏼 Thank you so much & i really appreciate your presence on here 🤍🤍🤍

@junmail -> oh its been such a delight to see all the junhui in my tag (along with others of course) so thank you SO much for tagging me and sharing your beautiful gif sets with me (and everyone else)🫶🏼💖

@doyeons -> BELLA!!! first of all. thank you for sungah and seohyun gifs that was kinda legendry don't you agree. Thank you for amplifying frommy gifs in my tag they made me so crazy but also... i am very thankful 🙂‍↕️ And you best believe i will still be under your posts like a pathetic little guy. Kiss!!! 🫶🏼💖

@eightshotamericano -> elly my local jeonghan enthusiast i want to thank you for tagging me in your posts i really enjoyed them always 💖 and i appreciate you for thinking of me, love you!🥹🫶🏼

@seonghwasblr -> I know there wasn't many but i still want to send my virtual thank you card for including me in your beautiful gifs of jeonghan my darling maja i really appreciate it!🫶🏼💖

@jeonwon-wonwoo -> maddie thank you for tagging me in your lessera gifs back in the beginning of the year - it was so sweet of you! 🫶🏼💖 again, a huge thank you to everyone who’s tagged me in their posts. it truly means a lot, and I’m so grateful for each and every one of you who’s taken the time to include me. I appreciate you all more than words can express 🥹🥹🥹🫶🏼🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

[neonfretra]

nhl teasm...

my team loyalties immediately dissolve in favor of the funniest possible outcome. florida i will willingly curse you for a game seven sharks interview, vgk you mean nothing to me if it means the yotes sweep you, kraken you mean nothing to me if it means a sharks shutout, the san jose sharks will never be usurped in the chain of preference because they are gods personal sacrificial lamb and every joy they experience is like blood in the water and my heart hungers like a mouthless stomach.

for sake of readability i refer to teams by name here, sorry if this shows up on your favsies team tags </3

every single team WILL be discussed in terms of the sharks . be warned .

nhl teams tier list below the cut because i yap too much for a cute graphic. our conversations arent long but you know what is. its this. dont talk to me at all, actually.

MY teams!!!

San Jose Sharks

san jose sharks u are the only thing that has ever mattered 2 me. pickles cup on the HORIZON and RAPIDLY APPROACHING.

MY GIRLS......!!!!! if you want to love a team make a primer about them. i think of everything hockey relative to the sharks. i can name most of their players.! (it takes me genuine conscious thought to tell apart cmd, drai, lars because of their similar facial hair for reference. luke kunin and justin bailey though NO PROBLEM ^_^)

fighting team through and through! who CARE if we down two and got twenty seconds remaining, players WILL be gunning down the ice...! its always a bit of a shock to watch other teams just kinda. wander about?

people who like winning will tell you that the important part of the sport is winning. wrong! it is HONOR and WHIMSY. and sometimes IMMENSE AMOUNTS OF NIHILISM . i think its good for you to root for a basement team. really gets you out of that winning is everything mentality cause if i got my feelings too wound up about how the sharks performed i would not have a blood pressure measurable by conventional means anymore

also, nothing on this team is permanent. i look at old rosters and can name like. five of them. we made the MOST moves at the trade deadline. every single captain has had trade rumors going around about them. somehow, we are still living on the high of that game seven. you know the one.

there are four people in the lb tag on a good day. if you are joining the sharks fandom hi! ^_^ sorry for takin your favorite guy!

BEST DRESSED TEAM IN THE LEAGUE!!! our logo? CUNT. our teal? CUNT. our cute little teal helmets to go with visiting uniforms? CUNT. our black alternate jerseys? CURSED AS ALL HELL. also, CUNT. over 5% of our wins this season happened in the califin jersey which is to say ONE GAME. and we looked GOOD AS HELL doing it. year one of the team, sharks sold the MOST merch in the league because our logo before the current logo? CUNT.

i think the sharks makes me a worse person.

Seattle Kraken

my first team! ^_^ really awesome and active community on tumblr, i really like the community wide decision to be whimsical through thick and thin, if you want to get into hockey id definitely suggest them !!! sports are a social interest to me <3

also, one of the best dressed teams IMO! LOVE the red accents (& how they use black in their visiting jerseys), and especially a fan of how their goalies gear picks up on it!

also, the pride runs deep team, the put a tentacle on a pride flag dont even need to mention its for hockey team

also, i love their fish toss. the past tense of yeet is NOT yaught.

i recognize a quite a few of their players! unfortunately, quite a few of their players are prone to injury. hope they resign QUITE A FEW OF THEIR PLAYERS. ^_^

Vegas Golden Knights

HEEL TEAM!!! hate them or love them you NEED them for your narratives. and GOLLY do people hate them! this has made me root for them more. haters be strong, but by god i stay stronger xoxo

a team you DEFINITELY need a sense of humor to love publicly tho. this blog SUPPORTS taking weeks if not months long sick leave <- literally a sharks fan, if u arent feeling 100% get your rest AND get your paycheck im so serious

i think they need to DOUBLE DOWN on being the most las vegas thing to ever be outside of las vegas! they got glittery gold jerseys! pyrotechnics on every home goal! the big tacky slot machine! gold helmets! the whole opening segment! vgk become the disney villain team u were always meant to be!

also, tomas hertl is on this team. tomas hertl i miss u. everyone may be mad gm mike grier traded him to a franchise rival but hes a wizard TO ME for getting ltir resident hertl to a team he wanted to be on!!! please win a cup for tommy vgk

sharks exwifes teams

Tampa Bay Lightning

anthony duclair you are just as beautiful as you were the day i lost you ...

also, i am LEGITIMATELY infatuated by their storm jerseys (image from the unofficial nhl uniforms database)

girl i want you so bad

would you believe this jersey personally shot up my opinion of them

Dallas Stars

joe pavelski makes me feel hit song "its over isnt it" from show steven universe emotions. hes THE shark exwife. hes been gone for 5 years (goinf on six!) and every time we play against the stars they keep having long lingering shots on pavs and randomly bringing up how hes SUCH a great player ohhhhh pavs youre the greatest thing we have ever lost... they do this after someone else has scored a goal btw LMAO. i genuinely get surprised when i watch a cast with the stars that ISNT lingering on pavs. have a good retirement pavs <3

the second player i recognized the face of on the stars was mason marchment because he has piercing blue eyes and strikingly dark eyebrows. hes orbs.

i think their plaioffs thing was funny as hell. i dont even read it like. ai as in artificial intelligence, ive been reading pl-eye-offs. theyre funny for that + getting dragged for it, apparently? i hope they do it again (& get dragged again)

im sorry dallas stars for personally cursing you to lose round 2.

im also sorry dallas stars for writing almost entirely about joe pavelski here . he haunts the sharks so bad. i actually did start rooting for the stars because of him though LMAO

HI ID ALSO LIKE TO ADD THAT WE GOT TY DELLANDREAS FROM THIS TEAM! i love snatching everyones beloved players this cant keep happening

my friends teams (that i have imprinted on like a duckling) ^_^ hey speakin of ducks

Los Angeles Kings

BEST PENALTY KILL IN THE LEAGUE! <- dont fact check me

i like making up silly ways of referring to game terminologies and the kings are an endless supply of on theme jokes <3

.i was made fond through word of big save dave and i personally love watching everyone shadow box with the ghost of la kings

i regularly followed them in the regular season ^_^ and then the post season happened .i think i may have cursed them terribly

PLEASE LET YUOR YOUNGER PLAYERS IN . PLEEASDE.

Anaheim Ducks

team i am fond of but never watch the games of because they overlap with every other team i watch LMAO

i was um. also made fond of them through their goalies. i may be predicable. THEE if a goalie makes more than 50 saves in a game and still lose then they have the right to chase they team around with a machete team

but maybe the REAL way to my heart is a team that is healthy (do you remember healthy centers and veteran presence) and law abiding (one of the most penalized teams) that loves doing things like completing passes (um. <3) . which you will

also, witnessed the funniest exchange on one of my posts of like. two or three people? realizin that the ducks new logo is a duck foot

also, i think the seattle series has been one of the most bizarre series of events ive watched by far

Minnesota Wild

you are like an in law to me

TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST. wild is like up there as one of tumblrs popular teams to me! alongside the kraken and. the pens? idk i stay to ONE corner of the internet (the sharks) i think the community is very sweet :)

also, i think the 7-10 game with the canucks was hysterical, that was the only time ive watched back a game and it was worth it 100%

also, i have drawn one of your players with cat ears its OVER for nyall

Edmonton Oilers

i know nothing about your players. darnell nurse 5 own goals i wambt you

ANOTHER TEAM YOU NEED A SENSE OF HUMOR TO LOVE PUBLICLY .! godspeed oilers mutuals yall are like a beautiful ant raft to me. hold on tight together! ^_^

also, we beat the oilers this year and are noted career low for a guy named cmd if you know him . IDK hes a lil underground . so like. >:3

sharks exwives teams the sequel

Calgary Flames

nikita okhotiuk you are the worlds funniest girl to me. gets traded on the trade deadline, plays 9 games total, BREAKS IIHF RESTRICTION TO PLAY FOR CSKA MOSCOW. WORD ON THE STREET THEY STILL WANT HIM BACK. i dont know nothing about the flames otherwise LMAO guys . guys i miss okhie . my turnover princess.... .

i feel like everyone i know has beef with them. um. my beef is that they scored 13 against the sharks that one time in 1993.?

please god stop playin scary

Pittsburgh Penguins

exwife exhead coach/cheerleader david quinn i miss you and your web of connections and networkin like no other...! seriously he knows like. everyone. gets along with everyone and has a strange and unusual beef with sweet cousin kevin labanc. .and hes connectionsing and networkining out there with the pens! ^_^ comin full circle if you even CARE!!!

i root for these teams for absurd reasons

Ottawa Senators

i root for them when idc about who they against because theyre my brother in basement

Nashville Predators

roman josi

i have pavlovs dogged myself into getting hype as hell over him from this image. no i dont want to talk about it

i could not pick him out of a lineup BTW this is the only photo of him i look at

i think they could afford to be even more yellow in uniform

if you asked me to tell you one thing about this team id genuinely run empty

its all goalies and sharks associations . i have nothing to defend myself with here

Carolina Hurricanes: i know like... 3? of your players who are deeply endearing to me and nothing else. yeah one of them is a goalie can you look the other way please (pyotr kochetkov, seth jarvis, brent burns)

Detroit Red Wings: alex lyon is on this team! i miss radim simek . hes not dead we just snatched him off the cuda captaincy and sent him to detroit.

Philadelphia Flyers: they have gritty on this team and also sam ersson!

Arizona Coyotes/Utah Somethings: i thought their yotes logo was the cutest thing :( they matched with the roadies! honestly massively bummed we dont get the yotes on account of WILD as hell management decisions utah somethings is NOT a snub btw, ive seen the sharks cast refer to them as that and i think its really funny. the blue in the uniforms is cute though ^_^

St. Louis Blues: we series swept them! sorry stl anything for tommy

Boston Bruins

Buffalo Sabres

New York Islanders

Vancouver Canucks

Montreal Canadiens

Chicago: i know two different people that said they played better hockey wearing a chicago jersey . their opinions of this differ WILDLY. if you play hockey, consider it. for science.

i regularly forget/confuse these teams

Winnipeg Jets+Columbus Blue Jackets

i forget the cbj exist regularly igm so sorry. i confuse them with the winnipeg jets because i keep thinkin theyre both planes. who i also gorget with astonishing regularity . i dont know nothing about either them beyond that

Florida Panthers

i genuinely have a really hard time telling them and the preds apart????? NOT EVEN THE SAME COLORS BUT OKAY!

darling of the playoffs RN i think! i like the playoffs, everyone gets so mean LMAO

keep fans in your thoughts at this time because BOY HOWDY. THEY NEED IT.

Toronto Maple Leafs

I FIRGOT THEY EXISTED TOO. I WAS SCROLLING NHL DOT COM SLASH TEAMS TO MAKE SURE I GOT THEM ALL AND . THEY ARE AT THE BOTTOM BECAUSE I GORGOT THEM. IM SORRY TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS. also, mario ferraros childhood team ^_^

i dont hate them BUT...

New Jersey Devils

but also one half of an employee mackblack said they had him play before he was totally ready to come back on an injury ONSE TIME!! and ive not trusted them since

also one half of an employee kaapo kahkonen is on this team! he played 6 games, lost 4, got injured in 2, and the only game hes won was his season first shutout.

they have VERY pretty promotional graphics and also eyebrows

a lot of sharks go to the devs and vice versa which is always really funny ^_^ we got at LEAST four devs-to-sharks guys off the top of my head (we traded okhie and got vitek vanecek, maintaining the delicate balance of it all) and the devs got timo mimo. who also got very pretty eyebrows. timo mimo...

New York Rangers

but hey what are they doing to exwife barclay goodrow over therr . when i said i wanted him to win a third cup i didnt mean i needed him to do it in the era of the pickles comeback . his um??? his contract terms???

nyr yuo are nothing to mme and i wish five thousand years of famine upone you . san jose sharks i do NOT think we shoulda been able to do this. its just a workers rights thing hello

Washington Capitals

but CAP FRIENDLY. GIVE IT BACK. actually seething with rage at this new development. you must understand . if you want to love a team make a primer about them. if you want to love accessible databases write a primer.

also WAIT WAIT BEAUTIFUL FAILHORSE PIERRE LUC DUBOIS IS ON THIS TEAM NOW? please make sure you give him a sparkly star sticker if he does well a game and also peel his tangerines for him and also

[nczaversnick]

Mega OC Questionnaire

Got this tag from @the-golden-comet

Wasn’t sure who should answer this but I realized I haven’t done much with Caspian so here we go

Five things that make you happy:

“Oh five things? I guess Adrian, Faith of course. I like helping people and fighting with the rebels. Oh! I love ramen too.”

If you could save just one other person who would it be?

*cue Caspian strangling N.C. with his bare hands* Sorry guys this one is major spoilers

Tell us one of your funniest jokes:

“Oh cmon I’m not the funny one in his group. Most I can do is tease Audrey about her affairs with senior staff”

Where would you like to visit?

“If Quinn ever finds their people, I’d love to visit them. Utristan is great and all but I want to see what else is out there.”

When do you usually go to sleep?

“When I was a student, I went to sleep when I was done working. Nowadays I don’t go to sleep until Adrian comes back from his recon missions”

Are you a jealous person?

“I….dont want to answer this”

Have you committed a crime?

“Kinda hard not to when the system is designed to arrest you.”

Do you have a chore you usually hate?

“I mean nobody loves chores. But almost all the work I do is in my proffered field so it’s not really a chore…. But I hate practicing with firearms. It’s brings up unpleasant memories.”

Tell me an embarrassing childhood story

Athena: “Hell I’ll tell you an embarrassing story about him. When we were kids he once kidnapped a baby chick from the class project. He said he didn’t want it to live somewhere without air conditioning”

Are you a good person?

“I mean, I think so? Adrian once said that he looks up to me because of how kind I am but…I think he’s exaggerating”

“When have I ever exaggerated?”

What’s the worst thing you have ever done? Do you regret it?

“Of course I do. But it doesn’t matter now. All I can do is do everything I can not to be in that position again.”

What’s the quickest way to make you laugh?

“When Adrian asks about multi syllabic words. I know he’s still learning and I know it comes off mean but it’s so cute… I just can’t help it.”

What is your favorite song right now?

“Achilles Come Down”

Do you sometimes wish to be someone else?

“Only in the sense that I know I am not my best possible self. Tomorrow might be different.”

Do you push forward or take time to rest?

“Oh I’ve always been a push forward guy. But meeting Adrian changed that. That guy never stops moving and it’s hard to ignore it when you’ve seen what it looks like.”

What is your favorite drink?

“I’ve always been a big fan of green tea.”

If you had to pick an item of clothing or accessory to wear for the rest of your life what would it be?

“I’m legally required to say my wedding band.”

If you were forced to forget one memory, what would you choose?

“As if you really need to ask. I’d forget the day he died.”

What is a positive thing your worst enemy would say about you?

“Knowing Lucia she’d call me good bait. She really only cares about putting Adrian down and he’d do anything to save me.”

Tags for writing games (comment to be -\+)

@honeybewrites @wyked-ao3 @kittrrrr @zackprincebooks @theverumproject @fractured-shield @poppycat-writes @illarian-rambling @finickyfelix @kuebiko-writing @yourpenpaldee @willtheweaver @the-letterbox-archives @moltenwrites @davycoquette @drchenquill @leahnardo-da-veggie +open tag

[andiwriteordie]

The end of the year is near! Give a shoutout to your favorite blogs and tag them to spread positivity before the year ends!

oh my god can i just slap half of byler tumblr onto here? probably not which is Dumb bc there are so many wonderful people in this community whom i am sending all my love and virtual hugs and tissues to (sorry i made you cry this year).

anyways umm category 5 emotional event incoming:

@astrobei my suni astrobei, my dear beloved, sweet unofficial little sister. you are so talented. so smart. so funny. so kind. and just one of the best people to grace this website. i love how grounded you are, how you make people feel so at ease to talk to you, how humble you are for being one of The Byler Writers Ever, how everybody just is so drawn to you because you are genuine and kind and supportive always. the byler community is so lucky to have you in it, but more importantly (sorry guys this is about me <3), i'm lucky to have you in my life bc you're amazing!!! ilysm!!!!

@wiseatom thea wiseatom, my sweet thea mouse with her bindle oh my GOD, where do i even begin? thea, truly you are one of the absolute best people here, and there is something to be said about how much you love your friends and how caring and gracious and wonderful you are. not to mention you might just be the funniest person i know, like pls i cannot count how many times you've made me laugh. also. i am still NOT OVER i'm caught up in you and i am frothing at the mouth waiting for exes fic because i know it's gonna wreck me in the best way possible, and i just think you're the bestest person ever that's it! <3 ily!!!!

@bookinit02 HAVENNNNNNNNNN. oh my god, you were one of my first friends here, and i remember being so so like nervous and thinking "i hope she doesn't think i'm weird or like bothering her by talking to her!" but i am SO GLAD we became friends because you are just literally one of my dearest friends here, and even if we don't talk super often, i am so so grateful for you and for how funny and kind and thoughtful you are!!! your fics kill me every time. shed scene you will always be famous. duffer brothers get out of the way, just let haven bookinit write the damn show already.

@messrsbyler nic? aka my personal pain in the ass? the demon on my shoulder? ugh god if i say anything nice about you, i feel like i'm going to be sentencing myself to 7 more years in hell with you. can't believe god decided "let's ruin the world and send andi into it," then got bored and said, "let's ruin it some more and send nic into it" a few days later. ok fine i'm done being not nice, stg don't make me regret this. nic, your brain holy shit. the way you understand characters (MIKE) and think of things to share with this community? dear god we're all suffering (in the best way) for it. not to mention i guess you're a nice friend. supportive and stuff. really nice. funny even if you annoy me. stuff like that. can't believe we decided to go feral over atla and now we're stuck in hell together.

@livsmessydoodles LIV LIV LIV MY SUNSHINE SWEET BELOVED LIV!!!!! oh my god, you are the best. literally so talented and so kind and so funny and so encouraging and also just so badass? like ok i'm not on twt anymore (rip to that hellhole) but the way you would so easily fire back at those people who tried to attack you asg jdle l HELP? but then like. you are also just the sweetest and friendliest person ever, and i??? i'm obsessed with you. your art makes me so emotional, and i cry ok. also thanks for putting up with me kicking your door down with sad byler thoughts. love you so so much.

@kidovna bhavna. ok. words cannot describe how much i adore you. you are literally one of the most talented people i have ever met in my life, so much so that i gush to my irl friends and family about your artwork and how cool i think you are. but more than that, you are truly just one of the most encouraging and most humble and one of the kindest people in our little byler fandom! i love how i constantly see you cheering others on and how i see you working with others and putting things together that make the community so excited (spider-will my beloved, thank you and every person who made this possible). your art never fails to make me smile and feel things, and i am sooooo lucky and grateful i get to call you my dear friend!

@elekinetic this is my official petition to put ella elekinetic in charge of stranger things 5. because hello. screenwriting. holy shit? holy shit. holyyyyy shit. ella, you are truly one of the most talented people i know, and usually, i read incredibly quickly because that's my default, but when i read your scripts i always take them so slow. i am like holding my breath in anticipation, feeling every single emotion, and i swear to you it's like i'm watching the show. and then on top of that you're just? one of the nicest people ever? literally i'm obsessed with you. thanks for coming to my tedtalk on why ella is the best.

@strangeswift abby abby abby abby!!!!! my stranger things x taylor swift partner in crime, you are THE BEST. god one of the highlights of the last few weeks of this year has been getting to know you because you're just such a joy to be around and to talk to. you have THE BEST takes on byler and on taylor swift, and i love how unabashedly nerdy i can be about this with you. also, i constantly see you on the tag just encouraging other people within this community, and look, i think that's really just such a special thing and is a testament to what an amazing person you are.

@toystoryfan TOY OH MY GOD. petition to make toy The Byler of the year please? because there is nobody i see lifting people up, making people smile, and brightening others' days like toy does. you are one of the most thoughtful and kind people i know. there is just a warmth and positivity to you that is SO wonderful, and it never fails to make me smile. i am hereby naming you sunshine incarnate and naming myself sunshine protector bc if anyone ever is mean to you, i'll end them.

@eightieslesbian MADDYYYYYYY. okay maddy, literally like i said with abby, one of the highlights of the last couple weeks of this year has been getting to chat with you and getting to know you!!! you are literally one of the sweetest people ever and also HELLO GIFSETS? THE GIFSET MAKER? OKAY. YEAH. THE COOLEST. plus our love for merlin has been resurrected (unlike arthur pendragon oof), and i love that for us. you always brighten my day whenever i see you around the tag, and i'm SO GLAD WE'RE FRIENDS <3

@smoosnoom MOON!!!!! a byler god among humans. the quality of fics that you put out is just absolutely outstanding? like i swear you don't miss, and i so appreciate how much thought and love and intention you put into your writing!!! literally top tier writing. and on top of that, you're incredibly sweet and so positive, so big win for the byler community that we have moon in it!!

@rotisserie5107 RORI!!!!!! rori oh my god, it's you and toy i swear. first off, you never fail to make me giggle when i see your tags or your comments because i swear you have the funniest commentary. rori comments are some of my favorite comments. i love how easygoing and friendly and funny you are and how easily you just vibe with everyone here? you're also SUCH an incredibly supportive and kind person, which makes this fandom an even better place. i return to work this week and i will be listening to ethel cain soon, so i will return to you with thoughts and feelings. 🫡

@wibble-wobbegong WIBBLE. ok i'm glad this ask came around bc i have been meaning to just stumble over into your asks and say this, but i'll do it here. wibble, first off, you're SO incredibly smart and do SUCH a wonderful job at analyzing the show and all its nuances. like bless you and your ministry. but second off, more than that (and not that the show and the fandom isn't important, but look there's also more to life than stranger things lmao), i can say without a doubt that you are truly one of the kindest people in the byler community. you always come across as so humble and so welcoming and so kind, which i think is often lacking (because it is the internet lmao), so it's always such a breath of fresh air to see you on my dash! also legit one of the funniest people ever ok?!!

god okay. that was so many people, and i could go on and on and on (and i have half a mind to just reblog this and add more people to it) because there are so so so so many people not on this list that i could gush about... but i'm hungry and probably need to go eat something since i skipped dinner last night. so that's it, thanks for making my 2022 brighter!!!

[101flavoursofweird]

2022 Fanfic Meme Thanks to @samcybercat for tagging me in this!

Word count for the year: 112,950… More than last year, which is surprising! Maybe it was all those Owl House fics I wrote in a number of weeks lol

Number of stories posted to Ao3: Altogether, 151!

Pairings written for:

Claire/Hershel

Arianna/Luke

Luke/Marina

Randall/Angela

Brenda/Clark

Carmine/Zacharias

Katia/Dorothea

Flora/OC

Janice Quatlane/Melina Whistler

Willow/Hunter

Gus/Mattolomule

Mermista/Sea Hawk

Mirio/Tamaki

Fandoms I wrote for:  

Rhythm Thief

Professor Layton

The Owl House

She Ra

My Hero Academia

Most popular story: 

By Kudos, it’s What’s in a name? By hits, it’s Ready Now.

Story I’m most proud of: From Now On… A prequel to Ready Now, where Layton decides to look after the Barde kids. I find it hard to write from Layton’s perspective (because he’s much smarter than me), but I think I wrote him well here, with a lot of references to his past. (Randall, Claire, vague memories of his brother…) And I like the parallels between the Bronev brothers and the Barde siblings. I was kind of hoping it would get more attention, so if anyone fancies checking it out… The link is here. Please don’t be scared off Descole fans. I know it says ‘Descole isn’t portrayed in a good light’ but I only put that because I’m paranoid and it’s no worse than what’s seen in PL4, I swear 

Funniest: I Was a Blushing Teenage Abomination… Hunter doesn’t know how to process these feelings??? Isn’t embarrassment a bad thing??? Also, Gus using Hunter as a makeup model because he can 

Saddest: Probably Those Who Can’t, Teach, because it features Janice mourning for Melina (again). I actually put a possible depression warning at the start, that’s how sad it got.

Least Popular: It’s Where Your Heart Is but I posted that a few days ago and it’s for the tiny Rhythm Thief fandom, so makes sense… It’s there if anyone wants to read a short RT Christmas fic. 

Most Cringe-Worthy: I Was a Blushing Teenage Abomination but it’s meant to be like that. Hunter is cringe and he needs to accept that’s fine. 

Favorite Opening Line(s): Angela stands by, smiling, as Henry places his hand on Randall’s shoulder. 

(From Missing Conversation)

Favorite Closing Line(s):

“Never mind— you could always take my last name!” Gus finished signing the invitation as Matt spluttered.

Gus hummed. “We should ask Steve if he’s going, and see what he thinks of Mattholomule Noceda-Porter—“

“We will NOT!” 

(From “You can take my last name!”)

Top Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:  Willow saving Hunter from being possessed by Belos.

(A scene from an AU, Out of the Woods, but I’m sure there is fanart for something like this!)!

Story I haven’t yet written, but intend to: A fic with baby Willow and her dads, Harvey and Gilbert (Da and Appa)

Fic-writing goals for 2022: I so badly need to finish a long fic in general. I’m replaying Lost Future to finish the next part of Ready Now, but I also really want to write more of Clarity. Also, that other fic for Put Yourself Back in the narrative, featuring Clark and Brenda. I’m really sorry for anyone who is waiting for an update on one of my multi-chaptered fics. I just find it easier writing oneshots and I guess lots of oneshots is better than no writing at all. 

No pressure if you don’t want to do this, but I’ll tag…

[ruiniel]

Funniest passage from a fic

Thank you for the tag, @cuarthol !

*rummages through heaps of angst* Well, got this scene from an old Glorfindel/OFC fic, first meetings and all that. Had fun writing it at the time at least

A great end to a great night. She fumbled into her purse, looking for her wallet. "Come on, come oooon... CRAP!" Ilva growled. No wallet. No phone. No card. No cash. No ID. Who the fuck stole—

The prick she made out with kept manhandling her.

This place was a world away from her apartment down on Bleecker Street.

Sighing, then gritting her teeth, she looked ahead, where the blond was just about to turn the corner. What else could possibly go wrong?

"Hey! Biker dude, wait up! Fin!" she cried after him, steps hurried but still unable to run.

He looked over his shoulder at her, stopping his advance. Ilva gratefully quickened her strides, though her headache, reaching seismic proportions, didn't allow her to go much faster.

When she reached him she placed her hands on her knees, breathing heavily. "So this is awkward. I just realized my wallet was nicked."

Annoyingly, she thought she saw amusement dancing in his eyes before he nodded to his left. "Come on, then."

They walked together in silence, Ilva praying to herself there won't be any more surprises. All I want, is a shower and a bed. And ten pounds of aspirin.

They stopped in front of a black motorcycle.

Never tried one of these before. No helmet. Do I need to get home that badly?

She had to admit it looked cool, smooth silver and black; must've cost a fortune. And what was that inscription on the fuel tank? Ass-... As- ...Asf-a-l-o-th? Odd.

"Nice ride," Ilvana said, rubbing the back of her neck, feeling as if she should say something.

"Do you know motorcycles?"

"Er, no, but—"

"Then how can you tell it's a nice ride?"

Why was this guy insisting on being a royal asshat?

"Dude, I... just... saying, ok? You don't have to bite my head off. I'm tired, and messed up, and just wanna go home."

He must've sensed the throaty, broken quality of a voice close to tears because he didn't prod any further, instead proceeding to kick the stand up, mount the vehicle nimbly, grabbing the handlebars and next she heard the low rumble of the motor.

She stared at it. Him.

"Well?" the blond motioned with his head to the empty space on the seating arrangement.

Move it, move it, move it, Day! Well, this dude's already seen me flirt badly, make out sloppily with strangers, puke in an alley. Showing a little fear should do nothing to my record.

"Sorry, I'm not sure how... to..."

"Put your left foot there, hop up, and hold on to me."

Hesitating, Ilva did so, noticing with annoyance her dress was riding up as she positioned herself on the back seat, her hands now grasping the sides of his jacket.

"Ilvana, hold on to me, not my jacket."

0 pressure tagging! @melestasflight @edensrose @herinke9

[uefb]

I posted 158 times in 2022

That's 158 more posts than 2021!

61 posts created (39%)

97 posts reblogged (61%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@afrenchaugurey

@unnamedelement

@uefb

@nifflersgelt

@katisfania

I tagged 158 of my posts in 2022

#newt scamander - 111 posts

#fantastic beasts and where to find them - 60 posts

#autistic newt scamander - 56 posts

#my stuff - 56 posts

#tina goldstein - 49 posts

#newtina - 31 posts

#theseus scamander - 30 posts

#fantastic beasts fanfic - 30 posts

#fic: with its head under one wing - 26 posts

#fantastic beasts - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#also i have so much in my brain abt interwar history rn that no one understands my jokes rn bc they’re referencing events that are 90 year s

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Hello, Wizarding World fandom -

if this isn’t appropriate for every single war and relationship in your brain, then I don’t know what will be. Currently tearing up about Newt & Tina it’s fine

My knuckles were bruised like violets

Sucker punching walls

Cursed you as I sleep talked

Spineless in my tomb of silence

Tore your banners down

Took the battle underground

And maybe it was egos swinging

See the full post

25 notes - Posted October 26, 2022

#4

Jacob Kowalski doesn’t need magic to make chaos:

There is absolutely some reality out there in which Jacob shows up to a friends&family holiday party grinning like a loon, thinking he is THE funniest person in the world as he watches Newt and Bunty unwrap these: 

Newt blinks.

Bunty snorts a giggle.

Tina takes it upon herself to correct the punctuation while Queenie charms the words a brilliantly glittering gold—

At which the niffler in the depth’s of Newt’s pocket sniffs and leaps: 

It shatters a mug and tips over the menorah, setting the Christmas tree on fire in one chaotic swoop

See the full post

30 notes - Posted December 13, 2022

#3

Newt Scamander and Stimming: One of many possible examples

Not me watching clips of these movies over and over and over again because I’ve never seen someone who moves quite like me (and isn’t a manic pixie dream girl) represented in media.

Sorry, I couldn’t get it to download with captions. You can watch it with captions at this link.

32 notes - Posted October 25, 2022

#2

I will die on the “Theseus & Newt actually love each other dearly they’re just wildly different people” hill. (Or, rather, they are similar people whose “means to the ends” just look very different.)

So have some adorable 8-year-old Newt and 16-year-old Theseus.

Also this is unedited forgive me the excessively long sentences

39 notes - Posted December 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Headcanon: Why do I feel like this sums up Theseus and Newt’s entire relationship / their entire family all the way back through childhood?

Blue screenshot from unposted chapter of fic x

Like…

Age 6: Newt’s dissection of a horklump is so precise his mum sends off his sketches and notes to the Hogwarts library and theseus doesn’t find out until the next spring when he’s scouring the stacks for a diagram for his Care of Magical Creatures final

Age 8: Newt’s mum puts him in Muggle primary school to help him learn social skills but the kids are boring and awful so Newt starts accidentally magicking himself into the woods outside the school for 2 weeks straight and just walks back to the yard for pick-up in the afternoons. Doesn’t tell anyone until the Ministry shows up at their house to ask his parents if they know their son’s been performing complex underage magic

Age 10: Newt gets bitten by a ridiculous number of doxies while investigating an infestation and his parents only find out when he passes out at the dinner table and Theseus only finds out when he comes home for Easter and asks his brother why his arm looks so lumpy and why he has a children’s ward hospital bracelet

Age 13: Leta bullies Newt into trying out for the Hufflepuff house team in September because they’re down players and he’s absurdly fearless when it comes to flying, and then he’s on the team for a full year, but his family only finds out when the Prophet covers the final matches of the Inter-house Cup in May, and Newt immediately quits after the final game (“it was cutting into my forest time!”), much to his brother’s chagrin

Age 14: Newt gets a school-wide award for an herbology essay on the scientific and magical distinctions between plant and animal characteristics in semi-sentient plants like venomous tentacula and devil’s snare and his family literally doesn’t find out until his expulsion hearing (but his mum still puts the award up on the wall anyway)

Age 16: Relatedly - Newt gets rather dramatically expelled but Theseus only finds out two days later when he runs into Newt in the DMLE corridor on his way to his hearing, because poor communication runs in the family and their father forgot to tell Theseus where he went Tuesday night after that barrage of Hogwarts owls showed up at 10PM

I could go on

why is this so funny to me

53 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dreamcatcherrs]

dating a faceless streamer/youtuber; mcyt x reader

+ this was a request, but it got deleted in my drafts ;-; sorry!

dream:

since he is also a faceless youtuber

he’s very understanding of keeping your privacy

and whatever reason you have to not reveal your face, he respects it

he knows what it’s like to have people tell him to face reveal

sometimes his voice will just appear in the back of your streams/videos

like in sapnap’s with the question about one direction

and chat is like, how long has he been here?????

the two of you would hint at a face reveal

and then after weeks brush it off like it was nothing

because you like to torture the fans, I guess🙄

because dream never has a face cam on

he has the perfect seat for you on his lap whenever he streams/films

and the same thing goes for when you film/stream; he’ll be sitting right next to you with his hand in yours or on your thigh

you’re known as the faceless couple

georgenotfound:

it really doesn't bother him at all that you’re a faceless streamer/youtuber

I don't see him as the type to post a whole lot of pictures with his s/o anyways

or something along those lines

so it wouldn't make a big difference to him

would just think it was funny to tease chat about knowing what you look like, when they don't

and then having them just hear you voice in the background of his videos sometimes

but not actually seeing you

he kinda likes that your relationship is more concealed

and that it’s harder for people to come at you when they don't know what you look like exactly, just because he’s dating you

because that would honestly be his biggest worry when revealing your relationship

so he’s happy that’s one less worry :)

sapnap:

does everything to not get people to beg for a face reveal

he doesn't want people to put that kind of pressure on you

especially if they go after you for it just because you're dating him

like, he will make a video about it if he has to

or tweet about it

the last thing he wants is for the fake fans to try and reveal your face or other things about you

when clearly that’s what you wanna keep private

that being said, he’d do so many streams with you

wether it’s gong against each other, or being on the same team

you always have so much fun together

even if you're literally in the same room together

if his face cam is on, he’d look over at you every now and then and send you a smile or some shit like that

there’s some pretty cute moments - expect a compilation

badboyhalo:

bad would be really proud to have an s/o who did youtube/streamed

and he would for sure help you out if you ever needed him to!

like with coding

or just general growth in your channel

wouldn't really care if you showed your face or not - whatever you're happy with makes him happy

he would just make sure that you never felt pressured to show your face

he knows people out there can be meanies

and come for you just because you don't show your face

and he’d always be there to talk to about it if it ever stressed you out

he would also make sure that you didn't hide your face because you didn’t like it or something like that

and if that was the case, you bet he’d be reassuring you

calling your all kinds of sweet things and show you lots of love

he takes lots of pictures of his two favourite girls

you and rat, of course (without showing your face, obviously)

technoblade:

he actually really likes that you're a faceless streamer/youtuber

like, he doesn't notice how much he likes it

before he realises all of the times you'd sneaked some hand-holding while streaming, or shared little kisses when on mute wouldn't have been possible if you both didn't show your faces

you’d share these secret glances when streaming/filming together

and no one would even know about it

sometimes his chat hears a little talking in the background from you

but techno just brushes it off like you weren't sitting right next to him the entire time

and vice versa

he also just stays with you when you're working

sharing small touches and words

chat also notice eventually how much you gush over each other without noticing

it happens A LOT more than you realise

especially from his side🤭

wilbur soot:

okay so

I think wilbur would have a hard time not showing you off to stream every second of the day

he would just always talk about you and want you there with him in his streams

and miss your touch after 5 minutes of being apart

but would be totally respectful of you wanting to remain faceless

he would just talk to you from an angle where chat couldnt see you

but yeah, he loves that you do the same type of job as him

and most of all, you motivate each other on days where you can't be bothered to even get out of bed

you’re definitely that couple that everyone makes cute compilations of

and that everyone strives to be

chat loves you, what more can I say

corpse husband:

ANOTHER FACELESS COUPLE

the power you two hold over everyone is actually immaculate

you stream/film together all the time

just having fun and being yourselves

he would definitely ask if you could join the games he plays with others when streaming

and if that wasn't possible, he’d just get you to come into his room and be part of it that way

he teases you a lot on stream

both cutely and mischievously

and your viewers are like👀

while his chat is just going crazy

you share lots of giggles

like, seriously, the majority of the videos/streams consists of you two laughing your asses off

you two will forever be known as the faceless couple

even if you both face reveal, that’ll always be your title

skeppy:

zak will find a way to show you off no matter what

he just can't resist

the way his heart is always beating out of his chest because of you is just too much for him to not ever show you to the world

but of course with your consent only

he wouldn't ever pressure you or anything

but since you're only remaining faceless

you can expect LOTS of matching outfit pictures taken in the mirror

and just lots of pictures of you in general

with your face blocked out or not in view, of course

you'd always be helping each other with your setups or videos

and he’d want to introduce you to literally everyone he knows

especially bad

you don't necessarily stream/film a lot with each other

but you're always in each others’ company in some shape or form

he always mentions you in his streams

just small stories or conversations

chat can tell he’s head over heels for you

karl jacobs:

he's the most support person everrr

he’d always be celebrating even the tiniest achievements with you

you hit 2k subs? he’ll treat you to an expensive ass dinner

you hit 1 million subs? he’ll buy you a whole room full of filming gear to improve from your previous ones

you managed to finish that one video you've been struggling with? he takes you on a weekend trip to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go

he’ll beg you to join him in is streams

just so he can hold your hand :)

or laugh with you every once in a while

he doesn't need you to face reveal at all

your company is all that matters to him when it includes the rest of the world

I mean, he’s the one able to see your beautiful face all the time, so he can't really complain even if he felt like it

always tweets about you or tweets things at you that only you two understand

and everyone is like ?????

but you don't care :)

fundy:

fundy actually doesn't talk a lot about you in his streams or videos

mostly to avoid people leaving bad light on you in the chat

unless he’s in the same game as you, of course

which in that case, the first thing he’d want to do is find you and talk to you in the game

he’s very respectful of you keeping your face private

and tries his best to keep the pressure of a face reveal off your shoulders

especially if it’s happening in his or your comments

if it gets really bad, he’ll eventually talk about it on twitter or something like that

does tiktoks with you

only with your voice though

and posts manyyy pictures where you’re tagged, but only slightly in view

he doesn't really care about your face being a secret

as long as he gets to see it, he’s happy

quackity:

alex has so much fun making videos or going live with you

and obviously you have the best collabs

you’re the funniest couple on the platform and it shows

he would talk so much about you - like, telling embarrassing stories about you or some shit like that

or saying how clingy you are with him

and chat would be like AWW HE TALKS ABOUT THEM

and he's like “no”😤

but alex can't fool anyone

he’s in it for real with you🥴

and at times, he doesn't even try to hide it

especially when he speaks up about ho proud he is of you

and how people should respect your choice of remaining faceless to the world

but then he quickly moves on to his silly self again

with blushy cheeks ^w^

punz:

has you on his lap constantly

even when his hand-cam is on

nothing will stop him from making you sit on his lap while he’s streaming

he loves that he can rant to you about the problems he faces sometimes concerning his streams

because you get it

he’d teach you the games you didn't know of

and you'd teach him the games that he didn't know of

and then you'd stream/film together after learning the basics

he doesn't talk about you a lot on stream

but chat eventually figures out it’s because you're literally in the same room as him

and how do they find that out, you may ask?

well, your snores coming from his headphones made it very obvious to say the least

awesamdude:

sam knows what it’s like being a faceless streamer

so if you wanted, he’d give you all of the advice you needed

and if you ever considered face revealing, he'd totally help you!

you guys have matching setups 

you sometimes talk to each other across the room as you're playing the same game together

because it’s funny to tease chat that way

you’d be posting pictures on social media

that give off hints that you're with each other a lot

like, in one photo he’s wearing a hoodie

and the next day, you post a photo of you in that exact same hoodie

stuff like that

he also celebrates big and small achievements with you

wether it be you achieving them or him, you always celebrate together

eret:

matching. outfits.

STRAWBERRY DRESSES

PLATFORM HEELS

ahhhh chat would be going absolutely crazy at the fits you guys have sometimes

and you're always matching

as in always

he tells their stream that you have a matching crown like his

but that chat obviously can't see it on you because you don’t have a face-cam

she likes telling stories about you

like, memories they have of you two together

and he just always compliments you and praises you for your hard work on her streams

telling everyone how happy you make them

she also always invites you to join his streams because it means a lot to them that you're there :)

jack manifold:

jack is so excited about the fact that you're also a streamer/youtuber

it makes it easier to open up about your relationship online

because some people already knew you before you revealed you two were dating

though I feel like jack would kinda like the secrecy of your face online

just to brag to his audience about how he gets to see your face every day

but also because he likes that there’s more privacy for you

sometimes he’d pop into your room without knowing you were streaming/filming

and would just start talking to you while you giggled about how you were “kinda in the middle of something”

when jack realised what you meant, he’d hurry out of the room in an instant

you’d always be in each others chats/comments

showing what a supportive couple you were

he always raids you at the end of his streams if you’re streaming at the same time

tommyinnit:

tommy always forgets that you're a faceless streamer/youtuber

and is sometimes sooo close to blurting out something he shouldn't

because he’s so used to seeing you, he just kinda forgets that no one else can

you always have to send him a text to “sToP TalKIng AbOUt yOu” so he doesn't accidentally reveal something

that being said, he literally talks so much about you

again, I’m bringing up that time he said that tubbo is so clingy

he says the same thing about you

but he’s really the clingy one, and it’s pretty obvious

you catch him saying things like “yeah, y/n is really cool”

or “guys, please don't say stuff like that to y/n”

getting all serious and shit🥺

he asks you constantly if you can join his vc

even when you're busy, he’s like “pay. attention. to. me😤”

it’s really entertaining sometimes

especially when his streams just consist of you two bickering the whole time

calls you his favourite woman

tubbo:

ahhh tubbo is so sweet when it comes to you

like, when anyone mentions you he just starts smiling

and wants to tell everyone about you

even if they already know you from your channel

he just can't help but ramble on about you

especially to tommy

he replies to all of your tweets

and you reply to all of his

you always feature each other on your channels/streams

and share a celebratory cake when reaching subgoals

sometimes chat notices similarities in your layouts

like a colour change

or a similar pattern

posts a photo of your pinkies intertwined

wearing matching bracelets you made yourself

and everyone finds it super cute<3

ranboo:

he would encourage you so much to join his videos

and wear the same type of outfit to cover your face with

but with a sense of yourself in it so you'd look similar, but not exactly like each other

you'd be matching outfits so often

doesn't talk a lot about you on his streams

apart from mentioning how short you are

but on TWITTER

that's a whole other story

his twitter has practically just become a fan account of you

he’s always in your comments

just to leave a :)

or a supportive comment

if you ever wanted to do a face reveal

he would do it with you if it meant making you feel more comfortable about it

or less nervous

you’re just very lowkey and cute

___________________________________

tag list✰

@zayenz @terribletoothbat @0t0n1n @0125cm @yukiuheh @shinee-is-5-forever @regularnoceur @b01nk-b0w@christhebish@nutritious-emo-crackkk@bookishreid@giavanna-707 @reddiesmcdonalds@cosmins@vixxzial@autumnpleaves@paradigmax@meaganjm@shiningsunrises@moralofwalls@username1212131@gxldentaestuff@innitdream @televisionpresent38 @bubblyanis@zurami @highoffhockey @popinjaytaylor@196os@livsbaby@doubts-of-gold@bunlina@retrav @mcyt-is-my-life@aleaisntcreative @my-shitpost-of-writing @my-shitpost-of-writing @clownsdrowning @pissbabywastaken@shiningsunrises @tie-dyed-dumbass @death-by-rats@simpfordraco @bippity-boppity-boopa@neongreendaydreams  @vibin-by-myself@littlepotatos0w0@christhebish @pipp-poppz@btsiguess-kpop@prettysmallfries@hiyoko-kos@kenmxskitten@fudrudy@weepingartanimespy@rhino-zucchini@goldenstarofthunderclan@melonmarz@ubeicecreamisthebest@polaroidinurroom @ady-yoo@isimpforeveryone@edenhollandd@ineedtogetoutofhere@glitter-night @hamilsandersfam@mothheart-witch @wrong-exit@trashcanfullofdork  @hellfirepheonixx @marshmallow-babe@isimpforeveryone @ky50621 @randomcloud@wormie4k@dinonuggies50  @p4rty-t4ttoos@aspenthegremlin@book-of-anarchy @jeyacore @thetattooink@gogywasfound@millavalntyne@junob1ade@ubeicecreamisthebest@karida @i-have-paws-love@drvgonraja@eatasslikegrass@creamofweep@venusomega@lunarfedora@rowe-n @wreny24 @vincent-stargogh @floatingplanets​ @vernon-dursley​ @childhoodgrunge​ @fivxss @hexagonclash​ @crazyjuls12​ @littlebabysandboxburritos @shifted-dreams@lenamarie666 @reinyrei @sozvuchiy @weaslvy-mxlfoy​ @aiofheavenandhell​ @honeyglaazed @carisle-mikealson​ @ineedtogetoutofhere​ @twist3dtinkerbell@cracraforfandoms@angel-dazey @leia-starly @smiithys​ @squiddyyyy​ @c0wc0ww​ @animeweeb019284​ @m00-bl00m-k0le @stqrs-thoughts @jenlouvre @uhhhguiltypleasures​ @trappedchest​ @punzrights​ @trashgremlin36​ @cyberrsoot​ @elebeleb​ @k3nn3dis-crap​ @karlshoodies​ @rascal-in-banishment​

[oswaldcobblepotssugardaddy]

Jerome Valeska, Jervis Tetch, and Ed Nygma with a gn!witch!reader (I know the ask said fem but I didn’t really write it with a gender in mind)

Jerome Valeska

You guys first meet in the circus

You’re new and HES SO INTERESTED IN YOU BRO

but he doesn’t believe you at first

Until he throws you an apple and tells you to turn it into a frog as a joke AND YOU DO

Then he’s all over you, asking you to cast spells on people and turn stuff into other stuff.

Later on when you guys are dating and he’s out of the circus you guys are unstoppable.

You’re turning the GCPD’s guns into water guns and Jerome loves it.

If you aren’t really into violence and murdering, Jerome just has you help him by casting spells on people to slow them down so he can do whatever.

If you are into all that, you guys spend so much time thinking about the funniest way to kill someone.

He mostly uses your powers to play pranks on people though.

Jerome has endless questions about what you can do, how to cast spells, and how you got your powers.

He makes you wear a witch costume whenever you guys are committing crimes and he thinks it’s the funniest thing ever.

But you guys are inseparable, no matter if you’re in Arkham, committing crimes, or just chilling, you guys are always together after you’re dating.

Jervis Tetch

YOU GUYS ARE PERFECT TOGETHER

You guys meet a little after Alice dies, he finds you practicing your spells and thinks it’s amazing.

He considers you his king/queen/lord of hearts.

After he finds you practicing your spells, he asks you to come to a special tea party

At the tea party, he asks questions about your spells and about being a witch.

He asks if you would like to work with him.

If you accept, you guys cause so much chaos.

If you deny, he’ll have to hypnotize you unless you can convince him otherwise.

So you’re pretty much stuck with him no matter what.

When Jervis is put into Arkham, you eventually find a spell to get him out, and you guys lay low in your house for a while.

This means tea parties everyday, a talking white rabbit, and him ranting about how much he loves you.

Until you guys finally decide to go back and commit more crime, of course.

He’s just confused on how this is possible

Ed’s seen a lot but never someone who can do actual spells

Asks you a riddle and when you get it wrong he mumbles “maybe next time make a spell that makes you smarter”

He doesn’t really believe in witchcraft and all that, so it takes a little convincing.

A long time after you guys are friends, he will eventually ask you for a spell that will bring back Kristen or Isabella.

When you tell him that you can’t do that, he almost breaks down in tears and you have to comfort him.

He realizes he’s in love with you when he looks up at you while you’re comforting him and you’re just trying to make him feel better.

You guys finally get together, and he seems so happy.

Ed gets you a green witches hat with a question mark on it.

If you put it on HE WILL BE SO HAPPY

You, him, and Oswald are the best villain trio

Idk i feel like your villain name would be the green witch

WHEN YOU BUY HIM STUFF YOU USE YOUR POWERS TO ADD A QUESTION MARK OR A RIDDLE INTO THE STUFF

He keeps it forever :)

And he buys you spell books as well as things you like

He doesn’t want to abuse your powers so he doesn’t try to get you to use them as much as everyone else.

He’s so careful with you bro its adorable

SORRY IF THIS WASNT THAT GREAT I WROTE THIS IN THE CAR WHILE HALF ASLEEP 😭

Request Here!

Tags: @jervis-tetch-my-beloved @gotham-swag @mazoga-the-dork @teh-vampire-bunny and one more it won’t let me tag

[gemma-collins-ily]

Hi, sorry to bother you but could I request a possessive/jealous kaz x female reader please? If you do it and it's not a bother please tag me in it

Keep You Smiling

Kaz Brekker X Reader

a/n - ooh, bit of angst, bit of fluff! Not sure yet if this will be headcanons or not!

Warnings: jealousy, flirting and generally horrible people I guess.

Tagged: @mrs-brekker15 @melody13522

The Bastard of the Barrel had lost everything he ever owned and built up an empire from the ashes.

The only thing he had was you and the Crows.

He may have acted as though he detested them but he did truly care for them. He just had an extraordinarily disconnected way of showing it and little to no tolerance of Jesper's antics.

So naturally, when you got together, he was especially overprotective and possessive. It was partly to make up for the lack of physical touch in your relationship, to show he did truly care and mainly because he couldn't help it.

Kaz often found himself surprised at the urge to bring you close and wrap an arm around your waist when he was jealous. He wasn't sure if it was because he wanted to gloat that you were his without saying it, if he felt the need to protect you or to just have a reason. A reason to touch.

Because, the truth was, Kaz always had the desire to pull you into his side or reach out to you. However, he would never give in to those thoughts.

Because he couldn't give you false hope.

Hope for a future in which he could be normal. Take your hand without shuddering, care for you with touch naturally and cup your cheek without being repulsed.

He wanted to connect: the only thing was, Kaz was so certain he would flinch and compare you to that of his past.

He was also so stiff - he didn't flirt and if he attempted to it ended quite badly for both parties involved.

Subsequently, when Kaz saw someone else flirt with you and do something he knew he couldn't, he would step in.

Unless it was Jesper. Because the root of his jealousy came from distrust, not of you, but of the person you were having a conversation with.

And he did trust Jesper. Plus the sharpshooter knew he shouldn't mess with you, even if he didn't, he would never. The reason he wouldn't was that you were the one for Kaz and Jesper had the opinion that Kaz deserved you after all he'd been through.

Inej and Nina also shared that very strong opinion and if someone disagreed, they would probably attack them brutally.

And it was a very real possibility they would collectively murder them brutally too.

They saw the way he looked at you, even before you were together and they identified it as the same look Matthias gave Nina or Jesper gave Wylan.

It was love.

Kaz's eyes always held such adoration and wonder when he saw you. The adoration, simply because you put up with his moods or rages, you barely shed a tear when he took his lashed out at you.

In fact, you stood up for yourself. Made him realise he was in the wrong.

The wonder was because you were so innocent, sometimes child-like and it wasn't just a show. He remembered when he had been bewildered and slightly concerned for your mental well-being several times.

His lips lifted just thinking of it.

Kaz came downstairs to see what the cacophony of noise and giggles was about. He stopped his descent on the stairs after he saw you and Nina pulling on wellies at the bottom.

"You know one fantastic thing about fuzzy socks?"

Jesper shook his head and asked you what you meant with a twinkle in his eyes.

"You can slide along floors with them!"

Halfway through your sentence, you had erupted into laughter again and by the end, you were almost rolling around on the floor. It was as though you had told the funniest joke known to man and the others joined in, seeing you with such mirth lifting their spirits further.

You rotated on your heel as you stood to see him standing, seemingly completely unsure of if you were mad. You giggled again.

"Where are you going?"

"Outside, duh."

"It's raining and freezing, don't be so idiotic." He was trying to keep the concern out of his voice and act as though he couldn't care less what you did.

"Uh huh, sure, but I won't be cold if..."

You trailed off as you made grabby hands at his coat and he sighed deeply. He removed it and tossed it your way, making sure to hit you slightly in the arm with it, where he knew it wouldn't really hurt.

The others gaped in confusion but you only skipped through the door, into the rain outside.

Wylan was the first to get over his shock and smiled at Kaz. In return he received a scowl but he knew it was better than an emotionless expression. It meant he was having to repress a grin, or smirk at least.

The Crows followed you out of the door, while Jesper had to be dragged along by his boyfriend, who was mumbling about how overdramatic the sharpshooter could be.

A minute later, he looked outside to see you jumping in puddles and having splash fights, running your fingertips through the water and flicking them towards others.

Kaz opened the door and stuck his head out into the rain.

"(Y/N)," he yelled and carried on when he had your attention, "Pop the coat collar up, would you? If you're going to be stupid, try not to catch a cold!"

You smiled at his concealed concern and saluted, shouting a quick, "Will do! Sir, yes Sir!" just as an army soldier would.

He ducked inside and leant against the wall as he felt his lips quirking upwards. The door blew shut with the wind and he returned to the window to observe the blissful, innocent joy that looked so beautiful painted on your features.

An example of one of the times he would invite himself to the conversation, happened as you chatted away with the bartender of the evening.

She was pretty and multitasking, cleaning glasses as she talked with you, slipping in small compliments here and there.

The thing was, you were completely oblivious to when others would throw a flirtatious remark your way. You never even thought they were doing anything except being friendly.

Kaz had realised this in the past after he had observed you deflect compliments for your eyes, smile and hair, returning the admiration.

You only wanted to make the gloomy citizens of Ketterdam have brighter days by making them feel good about themselves and you weren't trying to flirt back - only be kind.

Kaz noticed the sparkle in the girl's eyes, the slight malicious glint that revealed her intentions. He stood, grunting as he took his first step after sitting for so long and marched over.

He then took things into his own hands. He greeted her in a clearly false tone, one that mirrored how close he was to snapping. The server gulped and he smirked as she looked down.

"Hiya Kaz, we were just having a nice talk. Did you know, she thinks my hair is lovely long?"

Once more, you were not trying to flatter yourself, only telling him of what had been said.

The woman almost lurched over the bar counter to get you to hush but he had heard enough.

"Oh did she now?"

He moved his burning stare to the woman and said tauntingly, "I do agree, that my girlfriend's hair is, in fact, stunning. Now, why don't you go and serve that pigeon that looks so inviting waiting for his drink."

She opened her mouth and his voice didn't even try to cloak his loathing of her as he snarled.

"Go and do what you were paid to do."

She scurried off and your face dropped. He had been trying to be polite, knowing you had no clue of her pursuance of you. Now you had recognised the poisonous animosity in his speech, you realised she had only wanted to have a quick fling.

Kaz noticed how your shoulders slumped and the prickling of guilt started to poke at his heart. He nudged your foot with his cane and you looked up to him, your eyes swimming with unshed tears.

He walked up the stairs to his office and once you had entered behind him, he closed the door gently.

"I thought she just wanted to be friends."

You were so upset because you yearned to have someone other than the Crows, who wasn't just trying to get in your pants, to strike up a conversation with.

"I know love. One day you'll find someone who will adore you as a friend."

Your gaze was still cast downward and it was obvious you did not believe him.

"Hey, hey, look at me. Jesper loves being your friend, so do Inej and Nina. If they exist, others like them must too."

He was making sure to lock eyes with you, letting you know he was absolutely sincere and you nodded, wiped your tears and squared your shoulders.

"There she is." he said gently.

Then suddenly, you remembered how he had shifted a little before you downstairs. Maybe it was to protect you or maybe, just maybe, he had been jealous. You laughed at the thought.

"What?"

"Were you... Jealous?"

He stuttered through his next unintelligible phrase then said in return, "Who wouldn't want to keep you to themselves?"

You flushed and he smiled.

"I'm glad you're giggling again."

He was teasing you, however there was an underlying note of sincerity lining his words.

He would keep protecting you and he would keep you smiling.

[kauzebridgerton]

PLS PLS SHOW KAUZE'S DIARY PLS PLS

This question came right after the facts lol so I tried to do it as soon as possible, hope you like it! I made it on canvas

first sheet

Dear Diary! Today is the first time I'm going to write about you, sensei gave you as a gift to me!

He said he was worried about me, since I'm very agitated and sometimes cried at recess, I think he wants me to start expressing myself here, since talking about what I feel with adults is a little complicated for me... I wish my parents were alive so maybe I wouldn't feel so alone or that I should always prove to the people who care for me that I'm not a burden

second sheet

Dear diary, today I found this sheet when I was returning from school to Ruko's house, I thought it was very beautiful, and I put it here, I hope you don't mind...

Today was a really fun day, I'm feeling really happy, I think I'll ask if Ruki wants to play with me later...

I feel bad about not letting Ruki read my diary, but sensei told me I shouldn't show it to anyone.

third leaf

Dear diary, I don't really know what to think about today, me and silly Kou set the kitchen on fire, actually it was him, but that doesn't matter...

Kuron was very angry with me and Kou, I feel bad, I didn't want to leave Kuron like this, since he gets very angry with work, I don't want him to be stressed at home because of me, I hope he forgives me.

fourth sheet

Dear Diary! I miss Uncle Harry a lot, but I know it's important that he travels a lot for work.

I found a shirt he left here before traveling, it smells like him, I like it, and it's funny too, because it's white and I looked like a ghost! I tried to scare a lot of people with it, but it didn't work, I think the funniest part was Kuron and Kou, we played ghost hunting, I think Kuron isn't mad at me anymore, that makes me happy.

fifth leaf

Dear Diary! I hated today! The day was very ugly and on top of that it was raining

When I left school, there was no one to pick me up, these are the times when I feel jealous of my friends who leave with their parents in cars, I had to walk home through the rain, I'm all wet, I hope not get sick, now I'm going to take a warm shower and put on something comfortable, I hope nothing else goes wrong today.

sixth leaf

Dear diary, I'm not mad about yesterday anymore, but I can't stop sneezing, I think I have a cold.

But everything is fine! I'm a founder and I'm going to be pretty quick, today I'm going to try to make a pizza for Ruki!

Dear diary, it all went wrong, the pizza exploded in the oven and I had to clean everything, I really wanted to make Ruki happy, but I don't think I'll ever cook anything again, I think I'm very lucky to have Ruki with me, I hope I can make it he proud otherwise, because in the kitchen I gave up.

@ruki--mukami @mukami-kou-dazzlingpinkidol @mukami-kuron-mrsadisticcat

Sorry for the random tag, but since Kauze mentions you guys, I thought you might like to see it :)

[cyncerity]

I’m interested in Phil’s

(I believe this is in response to this)

tw: vore

Phil loved his youngest son, he really did. But god if Tommy wasn’t the most irritating person he’d ever met sometimes.

“But you said we could hang out later!” Tommy said sadly, doing his best to give his father puppy dog eyes. Phil sighed. “I told you I would try, kiddo. But there’s more work than I thought and I have a meeting later that I can’t miss. I’m sorry.””That’s something we could work with,” Tommy replied, “Just take me to your meeting.” “And how would I-“ Phil tried to turn to ask before Tommy managed to make the suggestion more obvious. He looked to where his son once stood to find empty air, before feeling a tug on his pant leg. He looked down to see Tommy, a mischievous grin on his face that Phil was sure he picked up from Tubbo. “As creative as that is,” Phil said, picking Tommy up and holding the small shifter to his face, “I don’t think you can stay quiet for long enough to come with me, even when you’re small.” Tommy pouted, making Phil laugh, and went back to thinking before he suddenly jumped up. “Just put me somewhere where no one can hear me! I’ll get to talk to you, none of your office friends will hear me, and you won’t have to suffer through your boring meeting alone!”

Phil knew what Tommy meant. It wasn’t too hard to figure out, but that kind of distraction during a meeting where he was supposed to actually listen wouldn’t be…great. But one look at Tommy’s face told him that his son wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Phil sighed and pulled up an e-mail to his boss, much to Tommy’s dismay. “Hey, what are you doing?” “Telling my boss I’m sick and I’ll be joining the meeting over a zoom call. There’s no way I’m leaving the house with you in there.” Phil turned to his son in time to watch Tommy’s face immediately light up.

***

Tommy was bored. There was only so much entertainment in someone’s stomach, especially when said someone couldn’t respond because they were on a boring stupid awful business meeting. Tommy had done his fair share of talking already, making fun of the people he could faintly hear from Phil’s computer, joking around, poorly singing in an attempt to make his dad laugh, but nothing. Phil hadn’t said a word or even laughed, which Tommy found offensive seeing that he was the funniest person ever. How dare Phil not break yet! To be fair, Phil hadn’t been ignoring him outright. Whenever he made a point to talk directly to Phil, Phil responded the best way he could nonverbally. 1 pat for no, 2 pats for yes. But there’s only so many yes or no questions to ask. So Tommy just sat there, listening to whatever the boring business man on the other end of the call was saying as Phil rubbed his stomach in a soothing circular motion, letting Tommy relax knowing that Phil hadn’t forgot about him.

Phil at some point started talking and stopped rubbing. Tommy tried to understand what Phil was talking about, but he couldn’t pick up on any of it. It was complete gibberish to him. Fucking stupid adults and their stupid fucking adult talk that he couldn’t comprehend. He started rubbing the stomach walls out of pure boredom, making Phil’s breath hitch and making him stumble over some words. Oh, there was something to do!

Tommy started to just move around as much as possible. Pacing around, falling into the walls around him, poorly trying to cartwheel or backflip, each movement initially causing Phil to stutter or trip over words before he eventually got used to it and just started ignoring it, going back to talking as before. Tommy huffed in frustration before trying to throw himself at the front of the stomach as hard as possible, causing an immediate reaction as Phil suddenly pressed his hand to his stomach, effectively pinning Tommy in place as he made some bullshit excuse to the people on the call about his stomach acting up, pressing a bit harder on the “acting up” bit, clearly trying to hint something to Tommy. Unfortunately for him, Tommy’s never been good with hints. He tried to get free for all of five seconds before he gave up and started brainstorming for a different idea, one hitting him almost immediately. It was a bit harder growing while under physical pressure, but he was sure he could manage.

He felt Phil’s hand still pressed up against him as he started to shift bigger. He obviously wasn’t gonna let up after Tommy’s little stunt with trying to get him to mess up, so this was his next best idea. After all, it had properly messed with Wilbur (even if it hadn’t been on purpose that time). And if Phil’s reaction was anything like Wil’s, it would be a total distraction from the stupid meeting. He tuned back into the real world just in time to hear Phil mumble something and some sort of weird ringtone play…wait did Phil just hang up? Was that what that noise meant? Shit, was he gonna get in trouble??

***

Phil pushed against Tommy’s small form in his stomach, trying to keep the boy still. This is exactly why he couldn’t go to the meeting in person, he knew Tommy would pull something like this. He sighed and kept talking as he felt Tommy ineffectively thrash under his hand, trying to get free and probably knowing that the odds here were stacked against him. Until Phil felt something under his hand. He stopped talking entirely as he felt the weight in his gut grow heavier and felt the bulge under his hand grow bigger, hunching over and pressing both hands to his middle. He heard one of his coworkers try to talk to him “Phil are you feeling alri-“ “I have to go.” Phil quickly responded as he hung up. He looked down and saw that his hand, though still pressed up against his stomach, was now farther forward, his stomach having gained a few inches after whatever the fuck Tommy just did. Well, not whatever the fuck. He had grew, and a significant amount, too, but what was he trying to do? He pressed a bit harder, trying to comprehend being able to clearly feel Tommy’s breathing and even heartbeat from inside him. Wow, that was fucking weird. “Tommy,” Phil said quietly, still to stunned to bring himself to speak louder, “wha..why? How? I don’t even know what to be asking right now?”

“I wanted attention, bitch.” Tommy stated flatly, bringing Phil out of his state of shock enough to chuckle a bit, before registering that he could feel the vibrations of Tommy’s voice against the walls of his stomach, which was, again, weird, but not entirely unpleasant. “Well, it worked. I…wasn’t expecting that. But you seem to know what you’re doing.” “I’ve got some practice at it.” Tommy’s replied smugly. “Irritated the fuck out of Wilbur. Sorry for making you have to hang up, though.”

“Sure you are.” Phil smirked. “As if you were having so much fun listening to my boring statistics.” He said, trying to stand up and almost falling over after completely forgetting that his gut now weighed more than three times what he was used to. “So, uh…I’m not in trouble, right?” Tommy said. “Oh, big trouble. In fact, you’re grounded till tomorrow morning.” Phil laughed as he felt Tommy relax at the notion he wouldn’t actually get in trouble for this. “So, I take it you want me to shrink back down, then?”

That made Phil pause. Sure, it felt…weirder than normal having Tommy be that big in there, but it didn’t make him uncomfortable or anything. In fact, it kind of reassured him, knowing that his son was close to him. When Phil found him, all he wanted was to give the boy a better life and a better home. He didn’t expect Tommy to like him as much as he did, let alone start calling him “dad.” He never even dreamed he’d gain Tommy’s trust this much, enough that Tommy felt completely safe being this close to Phil. That’s how it felt having Tommy in him: a reminder that Tommy trusts him. He was always happy to be a safe space for Tommy when he needed it, but with Tommy taking up so much room in there it felt different. He wasn’t just a safe space, he was actively providing physical comfort to his son, something that he had needed for so long before he’d been adopted. Giving him a hug from all sides, showing Tommy that he was there for him. That he wasn’t alone anymore and would never be alone again. It made Phil’s heart swell to think about.

“…No, you’re good to stay just like that. I don’t mind.” “Really??” “Yup.” He felt Tommy get into a more comfortable position before he started rubbing at the stomach walls. “Alright then, I’m gonna take a nap.” Tommy yawned. “…Thank you. I mean that.” “No problem, Toms.” Phil said, sitting down on his couch and grabbing a blanket and a book before patting his stomach. “I love you, kiddo.” “Love you too, dad.”

[nagdabbit]

MY GIRLFRIEND'S COMMENTARY WHILE WATCHING HER FIRST AEW PPV

"my entire fitness goal is hook's shoulder-waist ratio, but with taz's extremely dense neck."

"the funniest thing about wrestling is that this fucking company is trying to make something called a stadium stampede sound both cool, AND serious."

gf: "if you cry listening to a crowd sing judas again, im divorcing you." me: "so that means youre gonna marry me." gf: "i've been bamboozled."

about brian cage: "this man is a huge dork. like, literally, i could fit me in him."

"i dunno what it is, but i would die to protect mr. hangman. he hunk, but he also baby."

thoughtfully, "i bet i could just catch you out of the air like that. i mean, i can squat you, i could probably even curl you like that, too."

because she is deeply in wrestling twitter now: "HOOK! babe, look, its hook! hook hive, rise up!"

"what i love about this feud is that all these men are fuckin' idiots. no brain cells, just shoes and fwiendship."

"what do you mean their tag team isn't just the wild boys, wtf? missed opportunity."

"those kicks are ugly, but i would steal them, too, honestly." *thirty seconds of silence layer* "for you, babe. i'd steal them for you, i mean."

"jon, no, the germs, jon, jesus christ, please dont drink that jon you dumbass."

"i love eddie, but i'm pretty sure we should never hang out. too much extremely new york energy, we would get arrested in like ten minutes. possibly less."

"diorsday device is the funniest shit ive ever fucking heard, how goddamn sad is that."

"max caster is gonna get murdered, but i love him."

"i wish bowens and his extremely attractive boyfriend the best in life."

"colt cabana and tay conti are tied for best smile in wrestling, but tay wins because i dont want colt to kick me in the face."

"penta is the only joker i formally recognize."

"today i found out that some people don't like stu and uno, and to them i say get entirely fucked."

after rush came out and i lost my entire shit: "i don't fully understand yet, but i support you." *one minute later* "oooooooooooohh. okay, yeah."

gf: "i enjoy that cody is pushing ogogo by being a dumb bitch with this america schtick." me: "you gonna say that when cody wins?" gf: "...fuck."

"ogogo got that guy ritchie movie ass music you love to see it."

"you were right about cody and i fuckin' hate it."

"aw yeah, its big boi season."

about miro: "i'm very gay, but the thing is, men with extremely jacked traps just do something to me."

"lance changed changed the color of his extensions and i appreciate that." *thirty seconds later* "are those... three crosses? tattooed on his back? jesus doesnt like murder, i don't think he likes murderhawks, either."

"britt baker is the only dentist i want in my mouth. no, wait, don't type that one!"

"oh, fuck, shidas getting teary i'm gonna fuckin cry, oh fuck, i get it now, i'm so sorry i made fun of you, i love her."

"oh fuck, shida knee me directly in the face."

"britt scares me. like the blood drip details on her gear are really cool, but i would legit believe its real blood from her."

"are you really crying about britt and the nice announcer man hugging?"

"hey, quick question, just real quick while ive got you here... why is the emo twink... like this?"

"darby's dad looks like my dad, and i'll never be okay with that."

"i like that darby just yeets himself around like that. he came in like a wrecking ball. a tiny, tiny wrecking ball."

"sting just tossing his son around the ring like that is very good, but, sir, that's bad parenting."

"the thing about sky and page is that these are the suburb guys i beat up at the beach on summer vacation. they have big "i robbed these guys at the pier" energy."

"damn, darby just feels his emotion with his entire face, doesnt he."

"okay explain the gambling thing and WHY it's a thing."

"orange rolling into the ring is so fucking good, that man is national treasure."

after me showing her the video of younger orange cassidy shitfaced and holding a fish for no reason: "i am shocked and appalled that you're only showing me this now."

after explaining the history of the jansport: "the range of this dumbass."

"i get that kenny is good and all, but his hair really fucks me up. it's upsettingly bad and i hope he knows that."

"pac is just. so much muscle. flippy beef man. a meateor." she did specify how to spell it for the joke because it was important.

"that man is a weeb, isnt he."

"something about a man breaking a hold by putting his hands in his pockets really gets me hype."

"fuck just murder omega and be done i hate this, put it on the beef man or the juicey boy already."

"babe, ill be right back i gotta murder this callis bitch."

screaming, "THAT'S MY FAVORITE REF, YOU UGLY FUCK!"

after kenny won: "i fucking hate wrestling, this is bullshit."

"holy fuck, babe, i forgot mark henry was a wrestle boy! i know him from the olympics!"

"hey, is mark henry bigger than large paul?"

"mjf is a dumb bitch and i love him."

"hey, quick question, who thought repelling down the stadium would look cool, they're so far away."

"there's wardlow, my sweet boy. this is cool now."

she laughed for a solid two minutes at tony schiavone saying, "here comes the little guy."

"i fuckin hate hager. kill him wardlow, kill that crispy maga ass bitch."

"okay what's with the chairs." *after a brief explanation of the chairshot heard round the world* "and, like, he can't just pick a new gimmick? it's been two years, bro. move on, shes not coming back."

"okay, i admit that this is great and i love it, kill that old man on the dancefloor."

upon learning this is technically the main event: "you mean it's over after this? theyre ending the show on THIS? not the triple threat match, this?"

"i just noticed mjf's bedazzled jeans, i'm not angry anymore, this is perfect."

"no, more wardlow. gimme the beef."

"christ, sammy guevara is kinda incredible and i'm fuckin angry about it. why cant inner circle be just sammy and santana and ortiz, fuck the other two."

"no, shut up! i refuse to sing along to this! whats wrong with you?! this is a bad song!"

[badlydrawncreepypasta]

fellas! it is time!

the contest I have held in celebration of accumulating 100 followers has passed, and by now, I have gained more than two hundred. first of all, that's absolutely crazy. everybody here has been nothing but great, and I have received nothing but kindness and cannot thank you all enough for supporting.

firstly, I'd like to thank the participants of this competition for submitting. I've received some awful (in a good way) and genuinely hilarious submissions, so thank you to:

@gyougherea @sakura-bunnie @sleepygamerotaku @sanityisforlosers @dinklebat @thehauntinginn @lastwave (I can't tag you?) @glitched-out-mess @cryingteacup @teadarling123 @coolguy2122 @maskedthingsgone @cold-collarbones @defective-selfship @mad-gutz (if I missed someone, I'm incredibly sorry. please let me know and I'll add you)

now, to announce the winners!

just for the sake of tension, read below the cut. it'll be in reversed order.

to start with our runnerups!

we have:

@gyougherea

this is just for the fact that you went out of our way to make a wholeass video

@dinklebat

this comic was just generally hilarious

@sanityisforlosers

this one's especially because this in my opinion is one of your funniest incorrect quotes

now for the top three placements!

number three, we have:

@cold-collarbones

this is honestly one of my absolute favourites here because this picture somehow looks both high and low effort at the same time. it gives off the super crummy energy of the room, yet there's something weirdly comforting about this art style and its scratchiness. (also, please rest your hand)

@leicheexe

I feel like I could have drawn this and I mean this in the best way possible. additionally, I love how scruffy Jeff looks, and the way Slenderman almost has a unibrow. I just think that's great

and, finally, in first place, we have.......

@lastwave (again. can't @ him for some reason) with this true masterpiece:

when I first looked at this picture I am not exaggerating when I say I was absolutely hysterical. there was zero effort put into this whatsoever. you can barely register this as being BEN. I don't know if you even drew his body or if those extended lines are just there for decoration. the "im benjamin". the random jarringly high quality joint that's in his eye????????? this is arguably the worst picture I have ever seen and that's exactly what I wanted. congratulations, man, you fuckin won

that's been the competition! once again, I'd like to thank everybody who participated and everybody who has started following me. the winners may DM me privately to discuss the art prize they have won!

[kidney9-9]

November Bet

@hollandlover19​ asked: 

Can you write something where peter is dating the reader and she’s an avenger with similar powers to Wanda meaning she can read his mind and for the past two weeks peter has been horny as fuck and it’s driving him nuts cus he made a bet with Sam and Bucky to see who could survive the longest during no nut November so he’s trying to resist the urge to jack off but the only thing that will calm him down is y/n but she had to go on an emergency mission and won’t be back till later so he just lays in his room crying cuz everything hurts sorry if this is too specific you don’t have to write it if you don’t want to 🖤

Hey there hun! Hope you enjoy! Thank you for sending this in. Just a note: I have no idea how boners feel after a certain amount of time, but I’m assuming it’s really painful since it’s a muscle straining itself?? (i think lmao) But this was interesting to write since I usually put more humor in my writing, and this one turned out sort of sad! Everyone is over the legal age in this piece.

Masterlist is linked in my bio, tags in reblog.

Peter Parker x Reader [Angst with sort of happy ending] Warnings: boner, pain and swearing Word Count: 1.6k

Peter regretted the bet so much now. 

It happened back on the 31st of October, when everyone was resting about, eating junk food and candy. Sam and Bucky had been teasing Peter for almost two weeks now after catching you and Peter getting a bit steamy in one of the weaponry rooms, and he wanted pay back. Peter thought he could control himself for a month because obviously he was able to do it before he reached puberty, so it should be fine! But fuck, did he regret it now, making a bet with Sam and Bucky to see who could survive the longest following the No Nut November challenge.

Day one was normal, he had so much confidence. He only let himself kiss your cheek though, and glance over to you when you would dress during the morning.

But now, two weeks in, he couldn’t fucking handle it. You were too hot. Tonight, was a gala event for Pepper and Tony starting a charity for children with heart problems which would start funding research into heart disease, and funding families who couldn’t afford treatments. You were wrapped in a silky flowing dress that Peter wanted to drool over. The small peaks he’d see over you twirling around, dancing to the classical music, and the fabric would outline your ass perfectly. Fuck, it was too much for him.

He had too many thoughts about it though. He wanted to reach out and squeeze you, spank you, trace every part of your body with his tongue. He wanted to devour you tonight; he wanted to fuck you out of your mind only to bring you back to another orgasm after the last.

Yes, the boner was showing very much.

It didn’t help when you’d look over to him worriedly, and he knew you could hear every single thought of his. It was your power, but you called it a curse. You spoke to him a few days before about how you heard his pleas to make love to you once again, but you reminded him of the bet and what he would have to do if he lost.

The loser had to streak and run across the outdoor gardens of the Compound at any time the winner felt like it; only once though. Peter thought about losing constantly, wishing he could lose, but he knew he shouldn’t. He couldn’t let Bucky and Sam win like that, after them teasing him for so long. It would be humiliating, sure, Peter didn’t care much about that. But he cared about it humiliating you as well, he didn’t want them to tease you about it too.

“Baby, want to leave?” You mumbled to Peter, causing him to flinch out of his trance. Peter gazed down at your body for a moment, and cleared his throat, flushing immensely while he looked away. Your curves… he was so in love with everything about you.

“Mm, yeah sorry about this.” Peter signaled down to his boner and he could just imagine how some people had already saw it and started speaking about him, but he just needed to leave. You nodded sympathetically back to him, reaching out and grasping his shoulder to comfort him.

He shrugged your hand off after a shiver went through his body, breathing heavily as another wave of lust flushed through him, “I’m sorry. I- I don’t mean to, it’s just…” He trailed off, glancing back up to your face and seeing you nodding understandably back to him.

“I know, I hear it too. Text Tony and Pepper in an hour and tell them something came up. They’ll be okay with it.” You responded, almost wanting to stay behind to talk with the two more. They were one of the funniest but loveliest couples you met.  You felt close to them, almost as if they had a parental authority over you.

“I will, thank you.” Peter whispered back, gulping nervously as he tried to adjust his forming hard on. He just needed to go take a cold shower as soon as possible, and he already started thinking of strange things.

Deformed candles. Cheetos in beans on someone’s head. Evil cartoon characters. A dictionary with misspelled words.

You giggled, shaking your head at the things he comes up with in his thinking. You walked out of the ballroom with him, distancing yourself and opting to take an uber home instead, so he didn’t feel trapped. You worried about him during this month, realizing how bad it would feel to not nut for a guy.

You wished you could help him, but he wanted to keep the bet going.

When you got back to the Compound, your alarm instantly went off and your eyes widened, realizing you had to leave now. It was an emergency mission, you quickly read through the report, seeing that one of your contacts was revealed and gave up some information that needed to stay private. You rushed as fast as you can, barely sending a text to Peter who just got back to the Compound, saying you needed to leave.

Peter finally opened the text when he fell back on his bed, still struggling. He groaned, feeling his boner build up again, just imagining you out in the field, looking so sweaty and ready for anything. “Fuck…” He whimpered, quickly sitting up. He was worried for you being out there by yourself, but he knew he shouldn’t doubt your abilities. At the same time, he was trying to stop his feelings, because it just furthered his pain.

He cupped his boner, stumbling up and thinking to himself, how long has it been now? He couldn’t help it, thinking about sex. Fuck, it was crazy he wanted to just touch you again, how much he missed touching you was driving him insane. He couldn’t masturbate, he would lose the bet.

The winner also had the benefit of getting the title, “Greatest Person of the Year”, which included perks of people not teasing him and you, and many more. It would be great to have Bucky and Sam off your backs.

He set his phone down while he turned the shower on cold, needing to get in there as soon as possible. Maybe it would work now, but he couldn’t tell if it was too late to help. He still needed you by his side. Whether it was sexual or not, he loved you and needed to be by you.

“Ouch – oh shit.” He whined, coughing as the cold water hit his bare back. He stripped himself as quick as possible, now realizing he kept his socks on. He criticized himself, why’d you leave your socks on? Why are you doing this now?

The shower didn’t help at all. Once his body got used to the temperature, he got flashes of visions of you, from missing you. He groaned out of anger at himself for doing it, and he had to stop himself from palming his boner.

He got out of the shower, rushing to his phone and dialing your mission phone, that was connected to the earpiece you wore. When it connected, he could hear you grunting as you punched one of the people that attacked you.

“P-Peter? What’s up?” You stuttered, breathing heavily as you ran down to the other room, trying to get away for a few seconds to just get your mind together to focus.

“Oh shit- I’m sorry!” Peter rambled, forgetting you were busy. He hit his head and groaned to himself, hearing you on the other side of the phone.

Stop thinking like that idiot! He reminded himself, and you responded to him after a moment of shuffling around in the corner. “It’s okay! Is everything good? You alright, babe?” You whispered, glancing around and picking up one of the objects in the room with one of your powers, focusing it by the doorway to protect yourself.

“Yeah…uh, I’ll get you go. Please be safe. I love you.” Peter sighed out, scratching his hair as he sat by the edge of the bed, hoping you were okay.

You quickly responded to him, “Love you. I’ll be back in a few hours I think, maybe 12 hours tops?” You randomly guessed the time, knowing there was a lot to do. You hung up when you heard someone’s footsteps.

Peter gazed down at his boner, now fully erect and he frowned. The blood hurt so much in his cock; he couldn’t do anything though. He laid back on the bed, his head on his pillow, still naked, knowing any clothing would hurt to put on.

He tried to focus his thinking on something else again, anything. It barely helped, and he ended up squeezing his eyes shut as the pain rumbled through his body, the soreness was too much. He felt a few tears form and start to leak down his face, and he had to remind himself everything would be okay soon.

He rolled over, doing breathing techniques, trying to calm down. The tears wouldn’t stop coming though and he bit his lip, holding back his cries. It must have been ten or twenty minutes later when he pushed the pillow over his head, now having a headache from crying and the pain.

He held the pillow close, trying to block any light from the devices in the room, crying himself to sleep as the pain worsened.

When you got back, you quickly paced over to the room, needing to check Peter. You could tell he was struggling when he spoke to you and you pouted when you opened the door, seeing him laying on the bed. It was upsetting to see him with dried tear stains on the pillows, and you leaned down, pressing a soft kiss on his cheek.

His boner was gone now, but you could tell he was probably in pain still. You laid down next to him, holding his arm softly, just hoping this dumb bet would be over soon so he wouldn’t struggle like that again.