#sorry digression but yes very interesting

[umarthiels]

surprise surprise, les mis letters has got me Thinking about Catholicism again!

[bloomingbluebell]

man... rhoam's "redemption" in aoc really sucked, huh?

like botw SHOWED us, several times, how much pressure rhoam put on zelda to unlock her powers, despite her telling him, several times, that it wasn't working. he got angry and banned her from doing not only something she saw as useful, but something that she was clearly very interested in and passionate about because she "wasn't dedicating enough time to her prayers." yes, his diary expresses regret for it, but at the end of the day, if zelda saw that it wouldn't mean much to her. the actions rhoam took, and the way zelda grew up under so much pressure that she nearly died as a child in one of the springs (this is in urbosa's diary, iirc) mean so much more than his regrets and his intentions. it took him nearly 10 years to realize that he fucked up, and by that point it was too late. the calamity had returned, and rhoam had lost any chance he had at making things right with zelda.

meanwhile, in aoc, all that's there is some half-hearted scene in the temple of time that's supposed to make everything better? yes, aoc had a very different and arguably better outcome than the calamity that led to botw, but the damage was still done by rhoam. it's still the same hurts and abuse and trauma that he put his daughter through all because of the prophesized calamity.

[trendywaifus]

↳ just wanna see my baby right outside my door!

you think you’d be alone this christmas but your girlfriend surprises you.

↳ featuring—arlecchino, kafka, shenhe, jingliu

cw: thigh riding, vaginal penetration, teasing, pet names, degradation (slut is used on kafka’s part, soft alre ( mentions of smut towards the end), strap use, kitchen sex, brat taming, i was afraid of making the fic too long so i stupidly rushed it towards the end, sorry, ( ill fix things up later.)

arlecchino was a very busy woman—which you knew from the very beginning of course. after all, she was a fatui habringer, owns an orphanage, and the list goes on. when arlecchino informed you about the plans and meetings she had during christmas eve and christmas day a few days prior, a bitter taste sits on your tongue. nevertheless, you mustered up a tight–lipped smile which your lover did not ignore and provided you words of sweet comfort and kisses.

fast forward to christmas day, you’re sitting alone in your living room, sipping on lukewarm chocolate cocoa that you didn’t really have any interest drinking. there was a bunch of presents stacked under the tree and it was mostly for her and the kids. you sighed dejectedly, placing the mug down with a frown on your face. stomach churning, tears prick your eyes, and you were quick to rub them away with your palm. perhaps you should sleep early to get rid of this awful feeling of loneliness.

a few soft, yet firm knocks at the door breaks the depressing silence. puzzled, you stand up from the couch and walked over towards the door. upon opening it, your eyes widen to see your lover standing patiently in front of you along with two fatui soldiers behind her carrying armfuls of presents. ignoring the shocked expression on your face, she gives you a gentle smile and delicately takes your hand in hers before bringing it up to her lips. “ good evening and merry christmas, my love. i apologize for not informing you about the chances of my early arrival but i wanted it to be a surprise. may we come in? “ arlecchino asks, kissing your knuckles.

you meekly nod, pulling away to step aside from the door for arlecchino and the two men to come in. “ you two, please set the presents by the christmas tree, i would greatly appreciate it. “ she requests, pointing over to the corner where the christmas tree sits; they complied with silent nods. sharp onyx eyes peers over at the boxes of gifts under the tree. she then turns over to you, her gaze softening. “ dear, are those gifts prepared for me? “

“ yes, and for the kids. “ you answered quietly. arlecchino scans your face for a short moment, noticing the redness around the corner of your eyes and the wrinkles between your brows.

“ men. “

“ yes, my lady? “ the two soldiers answered in sync.

“ take all of the gifts from under the tree and bring them to the hearth, you mustn’t drop them or damage them, do you understand? “ the sudden sternness in her voice made them flinch.

“ o-of couse, my lady! “

they quickly gathered all of the presents from under the tree. despite there being loads of them, they were able to fit all of the gifts in their arms and scramble out the door. alrechinno sighs, closing the door behind the two men and locked it. “ um, will they manage? although the trip isn’t that long, there are quite a lot of presents to carry. “

“ they better manage. that is their punishment for their incompetence. those two fools caused me a few unwanted inconveniences recently. “ she almost growled. arlecchino deeply sighs to recompose herself and gingerly lures you in by the forearm, bringing you into her arms. “ but i digress,“ she lifts her palm to your cheek and caressed the redden skin under your eye with her thumb. “ i made you cry, didn’t i, dove? “ you could hear the clear disappointment in her voice.

“ no alre, it was just. .i didn’t think you’d come, that’s all. . “ you trailed off, averting your gaze away from arlecchino’s. she lifts your chin up with a finger to guide your eyes back to hers. she leans in to kiss your cheekbone. “ i understand. i deeply apologize for making you wait and think such a thing. i promise that next year will be different. “ she whispered, brushing her lips against yours. a sense of warmth washes over you, getting rid of the bitter feeling of loneliness you previously had.

“ now that i’m here, allow me to make it up to you, dove. “ arlecchino locks her soft lips with yours in a slow, sensual kiss. you kissed back, wrapping your arms around her neck, threading your fingers in her silk snow hair. she holds you closer, running a delicate hand down your back. after a few moments, arlechinno breaks the kiss. “ dear, do you want to open your presents now? “ she asks warmly, looking down at you; red x—shaped pupils brimming with nothing but unadulterated infatuation and loyalty. the other fatui habringers say arlecchino is a wolf in sheep’s clothing—that her calm and stoic personality is nothing but a facade, and everything she does is calculated. perhaps that maybe true, but after witnessing this, you truly believe that even she is capable of love.

you held her tighter and kissed the corner of her mouth. “ no, not now. i just want you. “ arlecchino chuckled huskily, turning her head a bit to peck your lips. “ as you wish, dove. let’s transition to the couch, shall we? “ she releases you from her hold and ushers you over to the couch. she sits down, pulls you down onto her lap, and settles her inky hands on your waist. you wasted no time to press your lips against hers. she hums into the kiss, tilting her head to slot her lips between yours. your hands tugged the coat from her shoulders, causing it to pool at her arms.

“ you’re quite impatient. “ arlecchino husks as your hands skins down her bare arms, pushing the jacket further down until it’s hitting her elbows. you dragged your parted lips down her chin and neck, leaving behind open mouth kisses. her breath hitches, desire sparks within her. “ could you blame me, arle? “ you muttered against her pale skin.

suddenly, arlecchino positions her thigh against your clothed heat, causing you to gasp. “ that’s fine. if you’re going to be impatient, so will i. “ she adjusts her hands on your hips and rocked them back and forth. you moaned as your clit roughly drags against the cotton fabric of your panties and her pants. her narrowed eyes looks you up and down, itching to see the bare skin under your nightwear. “ hm, although, getting off from my thigh will do for now. i maybe impatient, but i’m not that much in a hurry to reduce you into a crying mess.”

“ merry christmas, darling~ “ kafka purrs in your ear, sliding the fat, plastic cockhead into your weeping pussy, stretching out your tight walls. her hands gripped your hips as she pushes her cock deeper into your hole. “ i-it’s soo big. “ you cried out, holding onto her back for dear life. she chuckles, dipping down to kiss away the fat tears rolling down your cheeks. kafka made you wait all christmas night, just to show up at your door with several expensive presents, which also included a custom-made strap that matched the color and design of her gloves. the fact that it was almost three inches bigger than the regular sizes she keeps, has you writhing in pleasure.

“ mhm, i know. i knew one of my special little christmas presents would make you cry tears of joy.” she grins roguishly, amethyst eyes twinkling with amusement. you hissed at her, wanting to smack, better yet, fuck that grin off that pretty face of hers. “ you’re such a little shit, kaf—ka! “ you yelped as she slides her length out of your pussy only to slam it right back in. “ not nice, you naughty girl. “ kafka playfully croons, prodding her fingers in between your bruised lips to stop your potty mouth.

“ maybe i should of stuffed your mouth with my cock first, huh? “ she muses, pounding into your pussy with sharp thrusts. you let out a muffled, broken moan as her tip grazes your cervix. your mind becomes forcefully deprived of rational thoughts as she fucks away your sanity. nothing but strangled moans and groans left your lips which were music to the stellaron hunter’s ears.

she whistles, “ atta girl. now those are the sounds that i wanna hear. “

you weakly glared up at her, digging your nails into her skin as a poor attempt to make her flinch. she shown no reaction, instead, she laughs and lifts one of your legs up, propping it over her shoulder. “ still such a feisty little thing, aren’t you? don’t worry, i’m going to fuck you until i turn you into my obedient slut. “ her cock reenters your seeping cunt in a different angle that made your toes curl and eyes roll to the back of your head.

kafka rolls her hips, pushing her cock up against a sweet spot, causing you to nearly scream in pleasure. “ mmh, that was a good one baby doll. “ she litters your face with kisses, messily smearing your skin with her lipstick. she quickens her pace, rutting you into the mattress. the delicious noise of your slick covered walls swallowing kafka’s cock with every thrust made her own pussy flutter over nothing.

by now, you’re babbling and drooling with kafka’s digits still stuffed in your mouth; sweaty face covered in lipstick. she licks her lips at the messy yet beautiful sight below her.

“ absolutely wonderful, darling. this the best present i could ever have. “

you could never be mad at shenhe for showing up at your home near the end of christmas day with just one small gift in her hand. she’s ignorant to many mortal holidays and traditions so you’re very patient with her. she handed you the little box with a shy smile on her face and explained to you that inside is a charm for fending off evil spirits and bad luck. shenhe had a little trouble with finding a gift for you which is why she was pretty late. thanks to cloud retainer and ganyu, she was able to get you the charm and bless it.

of course you also had some gifts made for shenhe, but it wouldn’t hurt to show her your appreciation first.

“ so pretty. “ you cooed, pushing back the sliver white fringes from her beautiful eyes. your hand snakes under the opening of her hip window, rubbing the toned skin underneath. her stomach flexes as your warm hand travels down and palms her heat. she sharply sucks air between her teeth, looking over at you with hazy needy eyes. “ you don’t have to worry about a thing, sweetheart. “ you mumbled, delving down to kiss her apple cheeks, “ let me take care of you—relax. “

you played with her clit, rubbing and grinding against the small bundle of nerves with your palm in a slow, circular motion. shenhe groans, weakly grabbing your wrist but made no attempt to stop you. you shift down towards her chest area and lifted the flap piece up, revealing her hardened nipples poking out from the black, stretchy fabric. you wrapped your warm mouth around one of the perky buds through the cloth and swirled your tongue. “ feels. .good. “ she breathed, closing her eyes as she focuses on your fingers stroking her puffy folds and your tongue teasing her nipple.

her back arches as the tip of your ring and index finger teases her entrance. “ i know a strong girl like yourself can take two at a time without prep. “ you chuckled, slowly easing your fingers inside her pussy. a throaty moan leaves her lips. she can feel your nails drag against her walls, stretching her out. “ do you want me to let you adjust or start moving? i’m fine with whatever, sweets. “

“ m-move. “ she answers without a second thought.

you slide further inside until you were knuckles deep. she lets out a soft moan as you slowly thrust your fingers into her cunt while nibbling and tugging at her other sensitive bud. your drool leaves a growing dark patch on the fabric. desperation washes over shenhe like a wave as you continued to finger her and focus your attention on her clothed breasts. “ m-more. .” she groans, looking down at you with half–lidded eyes.

“ anything for you, sweetheart. “ you moved back up to her level and sealed your lips with hers. when you curl your fingers into a spongy patch, shenhe’s self control slips.

“ surprise, surprise~ “

a familiar, soft voice whispers in your ear as a silk blindfold covers your eyes. a pair of hands ghosts over your sides and cool breath fans against the back of your neck. a chill runs down your spine. “ jingliu?” you called out, slightly nervous. you didn’t feel her presence in the kitchen or even hear her enter your home. though, you didn’t want to question it too much since she’s a master swordsman who’s always light on her feet. but you can’t lie and say she doesn’t scare you sometimes with her quiet footsteps.

“ mhm. “ jingliu hums, resting her chin on your shoulder. “ i didn’t expect you to come home so late but merry christmas. can i ask why you’ve blindfolded me? “ her hands settles at your hips, cool lips grazes your ear.

“ merely for my enjoyment, dar–ling~ i’m here to claim my present. “ she nibbles and lightly tugs on your earlobe. you swallowed thickly, holding back a soft moan as she grinds her hips into your ass, sandwiching you between her and the kitchen counter. “ aeons, i can’t even make hot cocoa without you randomly pouncing on me. “ you murmured. but, you’re still quite happy to see her since she has the tendency to wander about for days at a time.

her hand slips under the waistband of your pajamas and panties. deft, slender fingers rub your folds, causing you to squirm. “ i’m going to take you right here. ” jingliu promises, you could hear the mischievous smile in her voice. unable to see because of the blindfold, you desperately grasp for the edge of the counter as she mercilessly plays with your clit and leaves cool kisses along your shoulder blade.

you gasped as her finger circled your entrance and enters inside. “ ah—jingliuu. .” you whined, hunching over the counter as she ruthlessly fingers your pussy without any time for you to adjust. “ i haven’t even added in two fingers yet—take it. “ jingliu growls. you could feel her finger stretch you apart, nails barely scratching the sweet spot you’re utterly weak to. “ n-not so fast! “ you hissed, knees growing weak from her pace.

jingliu ignores your plea and instead, adds another finger, erupting a loud moan from your throat. she sucks the skin on the side of your neck, leaving behind a red blotch. your walls clamps around her fingers, jingliu nearly moans at the feeling. “ you’re squeezing my fingers so tight, i cannot wait to feel you do the same to my tongue. “

jingliu finally adds in the third finger, stretching your hole even further. you swear you could see stars popping into your teary vision.

[paperclipninja]

This thought struck me while I was driving and I don't know if it's a) tenuous at best, b) me finding meaning where there is none or c) possibly a thing. So naturally I'm going to throw it out there as a possible maybe-theory/foreshadowing.

As we all know, this handshake moment in the magic shop in s2 has the sword very deliberately positioned right where Aziraphale and Crowley's hands meet and we see the three swords in Aziraphale's back as he moves forward.

And when Aziraphale walks back to the counter and Crowley turns to watch, we see three swords now towards Crowley's chest - it's nicely and clearly pointed out with pictures in this post by @newfangledfancy

As many have noted, if Good Omens is anything, it is deliberate in its choices, especially when we're looking at something as obvious as this. What exactly it means, we'll no doubt find out later, but it certainly seems somewhat ominous and foreshadowing, with the sword down the middle arguably already in play with the separation of Crowley and Aziraphale at the end of s2.

My take? The sword in the middle is the breaking our two faves apart, the swords in Aziraphale's back are an indication of betrayal by Heaven (he still trusts they are the 'good guys') and the swords to the front of Crowley, to me, is indicative that part of that betrayal will involve trying to harm/destroy/get rid of Crowley.

The 'offer' to reinstate Crowley to angel status was such utter piffle (sorry, couldn't help it) because the Metatron knew he'd never go for it, but it also served another purpose; to lead Aziraphale to think he'd misjudged the Metatron (even if Aziraphale didn't really think that and doesn't have a choice about returning to Heaven, I do think part of him still also believes the system can be changed from within).

That extremely pointed, horrible look that the Metatron shoots Crowley just before he and Aziraphale leave the bookshop to go discuss the promotion (with accompanying danger music and all), you know, this one:

reveals to us that this performance the Metatron is putting on for Aziraphale really is just that, a performance. He wants Aziraphale to think he's misjudged him, I'm sure he was hoping he could convince Aziraphale to trust him. I think the angel is too clever to fully trust the Metatron, but what it does do is maintain Aziraphale's trust in Heaven and, I believe, the possibility he could make a difference.

So why the offer that Crowley could come to Heaven too? Yes, to entice Aziraphale but also, the offer makes it seem as though the Metatron has no gripe with the demon after all. It may be 'irregular', but he was willing to let Crowley be reinstated, it puts any notion of the Metatron potentially wanting to hurt Crowley off Aziraphale's radar (at least for now).

It's interesting too, in the 1941 magic shop scene, that the swords appear to be going into Crowley only once Aziraphale has moved past him, has his back to him. If I was following the separate, betray, destroy sequence of the sword set up, then I'd take that to suggest that any move against Crowley will happen while Aziraphale has his back turned, so to speak, and can you imagine the kind of fury that would unleash in our no. 1 angel? Coz I can and it is amazing! But I digress...

While speculation is fun (so, so much fun) and all, the point, the POINT of this rambling post was to say that if indeed that 1941 magic shop sequence is foreshadowing Aziraphale being 'stabbed in the back' and Crowley attacked in some way, it's not the first time we've seen a potential nod to that.

Look it may be entirely coincidental but I have to say, there is mighty similar symbolism right back in s1 when Aziraphale and Crowley are hit with the paintballs. Where does the pellet land on Aziraphale? On his back (and how, from where he's standing? Is there someone behind him??). And where does Crowley cop the 'bullet'? Right there in the chest.

I just wouldn't put it past this show to have planted the seed that early on. And look, if it's nothing of the sort, then they're just fantastic stand alone sequences. That's the greatest thing about Good Omens, if it was a Clue, then it's amazing and if it's not, it was still amazing. We simply cannot lose.

[ach-sss-no]

someone asked why i loudly asserted that the stewing rabbits bit of lotr is the opposite book vs. movie and i think it is time to move off of the giant reblog chain i'm making

The Premise: Sam, Frodo and Gollum are all doing the opposite of what they are doing in the book in some fashion or another

(first off: in the movie they abandon the stew and don't eat it. the book takes a lot longer with all of this, and they do in fact eat the stew, and I definitely understand the movie couldn't be as expansive with the pacing but it's just. funny to me. they don't eat the stew vs. they do eat the stew, there's your first opposite)

now. THE SCENE: Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit

(Small disclaimer/disclosure: I referenced the script instead of a movie clip for this, so there may be some nuance missed in visuals or whatever but I don't think it would be enough of a difference to matter and hopefully you will soon see why not)

Frodo

Starting with him because this is simplest.

In the movie, Frodo is just sitting there minding his own business when Gollum dumps dead rabbits in his lap. (Then he doesn't interact with the ensuing conversation at all)

In the book he's asleep when Gollum brings the rabbits and does not participate in the scene. Okay, so he's awake vs. asleep. Easy.

(Also, book Frodo didn't witness the conflict between the other two characters and had no opportunity to intervene, which creates an interesting 'what could have been', but I am digressing. We are only 10% of the way in. buckle up)

Sam

In the movie, Sam is passive and reacting. Gollum dumps dead rabbits in Mr. Frodo's lap oh no what do I guess we'll cook them

In the book, Sam is active and orchestrating events.

Sam decides of his own accord that he wants to address their dwindling supplies:

Sam had been giving earnest thought to food as they marched. Now that the despair of the impassable Gate was behind him, he did not feel so inclined as his master to take no thought for their livelihood beyond the end of their errand; [in case you forgot. Earlier on Sam was like 'we won't have enough food for the way back' and frodo essentially responds with 'the way back. oh you sweet summer child'] and anyway it seemed wiser to him to save the waybread of the Elves for worse times ahead.

Note: This is all very good reasoning by Mr. Samwise and an excellent example of why he's so necessary to the quest! Yes, staying alive is step one.

But Where to get food? In both movie and book Sam is taking advantage of his resources (dead rabbits acquired via gollum), but in the book he's way more proactive about it:

An idea struck him and he turned to Gollum. Gollum had just begun to sneak off on his own, and he was crawling away on all fours through the fern. 'Hi! Gollum!' said Sam. 'Where are you going? Hunting? Well see here, old noser, you don't like our food, and I'd not be sorry for a change myself. Your new motto's always ready to help. Could you find anything fit for a hungry hobbit? ' 'Yes, perhaps, yes,' said Gollum. 'Sméagol always helps, if they asks-- if they asks nicely.' 'Right!' said Sam. 'I does ask. And if that isn't nice enough, I begs.'

In this point in the book Sam has now:

Decided of his own accord that he has a problem and that he wants to actively solve it

Arrived at a solution to the problem without any outside help or suggestions

Commanded Gollum to go hunt

In the point in the movie Sam has done:

Nothing

I'm not exaggerating. In the movie the scene hasn't started yet.

In both book and movie, rabbits are acquired a little while later. In the book this is a nonevent because Sam requested and expected rabbits. In the movie, the rabbits unexpectedly appear, and Gollum says they are for the hobbits to eat (Sam doesn't even come up with the idea to eat them on his own!)

They are young. They are tender. They are nice. Yes they are! Eat them! Eat them! [He bites and tears into the raw meat.]

GOLLUM SHOWED HIM HOW TO EAT THEM LIKE A MOTHER CAT.

Anyway, in the movie, we just cut to Sam stewing the rabbits after that.

But in the book, Sam isn't done arranging things:

He thought for a bit, while he took out his knife, cleaned and whetted it, and began to dress the rabbits. He was not going to leave Frodo alone asleep even for a few minutes. 'Now, Gollum,' he said, 'I've another job for you. Go and fill these pans with water, and bring 'em back! '

'Sméagol will fetch water, yes,' said Gollum. 'But what does the hobbit want all that water for? He has drunk, he has washed.' 'Never you mind,' said Sam. `If you can't guess, you'll soon find out. And the sooner you fetch the water, the sooner you'll learn. Don't you damage one of my pans, or I'll carve you into mincemeat.'

So now Sam has:

Decided of his own accord that he has a problem and that he wants to actively solve it

Arrived at a solution to the problem without any outside help or suggestions

Commanded Gollum to go hunt

Lovingly watched Frodo sleep

Collected rabbits after they were provided and begun skinning them

Assigned Gollum to fill his cook-pans

Gollum leaves to do this new errand and Sam starts building a cook fire.

He was just stooping over his fire, shielding it and building it up with heavier wood, when Gollum returned, carrying the pans carefully and grumbling to himself. He set the pans down, and then suddenly saw what Sam was doing. He gave a thin hissing shriek, and seemed to be both frightened and angry. 'Ach! Sss -- no!' he cried. 'No! Silly hobbits, foolish, yes foolish! They mustn't do it!' 'Mustn't do what?' asked Sam in surprise. 'Not make the nassty red tongues,' hissed Gollum. `Fire, fire! It's dangerous, yes it is. It burns, it kills. And it will bring enemies, yes it will.'

Sam has just been given a completely sane and rational reason why a fire is a bad idea (they are in a dangerous area and can't risk attention!) (as well as a reason that is less pertinent- it looks like Gollum is afraid of fire, and he may have sensible reasons to be afraid of fire because it is dangerous, but this is not Sam's problem)

Sam addresses the 'it will bring enemies' thing

'I don't think so,' said Sam. `Don't see why it should, if you don't put wet stuff on it and make a smother. But if it does, it does. I'm going to risk it, anyhow. I'm going to stew these coneys.'

And Sam is like, nah.

Now Gollum gets upset that he's 'ruining good meat' by cooking it

Now Sam de-escalates

Now, now! ' said Sam. 'Each to his own fashion. Our bread chokes you, and raw coney chokes me. If you give me a coney, the coney's mine, see, to cook, if I have a mind. And I have. You needn't watch me. Go and catch another and eat it as you fancy -- somewhere private and out o' my sight. Then you won't see the fire, and I shan't see you, and we'll both be the happier. [He still managed to slip in a 'get out of my sight'] I'll see the fire don't smoke, if that's any comfort to you.'

In the movie he just insults the quality of the meat:

SAM What's to ruin? There's hardly any meat on 'em.

...which I suppose is fair in this alternate universe where the rabbits were just dumped in his lap, unwanted.

Then in the movie they skip to the taters conversation, but in the book, there's more!

Back to the book:

Gollum withdrew grumbling, and crawled into the fern. Sam busied himself with his pans. 'What a hobbit needs with coney,' he said to himself, 'is some herbs and roots, especially taters -- not to mention bread. Herbs we can manage, seemingly.' 'Gollum!' he called softly. 'Third time pays for all. I want some herbs.'

Gollum says no.

'Sméagol'll get into real true hot water, when this water boils, if he don't do as he's asked,' growled Sam. 'Sam'll put his head in it, yes precious. And I'd make him look for turnips and carrots, and taters too, if it was the time o' the year. I'll bet there's all sorts of good things running wild in this country. I'd give a lot for half a dozen taters.'

Now Gollum asks what taters are, gets a cryptic answer, and is offered a kind of food he has just expressed he does not want (cooked food) and again ordered to fetch herbs. Gollum declines.

'You couldn't say no to that.' 'Yes, yes we could. Spoiling nice fish, scorching it. Give me fish now, and keep nassty chips!' 'Oh you're hopeless,' said Sam. 'Go to sleep!'

The movie finally has some of the same words in almost the same place:

SAM PO-TAY-TOES! Boil 'em. Mash 'em. Stick 'em in a stew. Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish…. SM�AGOL [i'm not fixing it blah] [Sticks out his tongue in disgust] Pbbbttt!! [so now he's just devolved into making fart noises] SAM Even you couldn't say no to that. [He takes a sip of the stew] SM�AGOL Oh yes we could! Spoil nice fish... [scrambles up close to Sam] Give it to usss rrraw... and wrrriggling! [That line is not in the book. every time i see it quoted i age a year] [Makes sickeningly happy face.] You keep nasty chips. [Hops away] SAM You're hopeless.

The scene here ends in the movie.

In the movie, Sam has:

Watched rabbits be thrown at Frodo

Started cooking them after being all but commanded to eat them

Had some banter with Gollum

Left the scene without eating his stew

Sam is a passive character who is not orchestrating events, but rather reacting to them. A character being passive is not in and of itself a bad thing. I am only pointing it out because it is different from the book and a big change to this specific character (wanted to mention that because some people really don't like passive characters in general, I think they have a place. Frodo is rather passive in this scene but he obviously has a purpose.)

...In the book, Sam stews the rabbits for an hour and then eats the stew with Frodo

Frodo yawned and stretched. 'You should have been resting Sam,' he said. 'And lighting a fire was dangerous in these parts.

Wow! Was it? I feel like someone mentioned that earlier.

'Gollum! ' Sam called and whistled softly. 'Come on! Still time to change your mind. There's some left, if you want to try stewed coney.' There was no answer. 'Oh well, I suppose he's gone off to find something for himself. We'll finish it,' said Sam. [...] We don't see eye to eye, and he's not pleased with Sam, O no precious, not pleased at all.'

Whyever not?

To sum, book!Sam has:

Decided of his own accord that he has a problem and that he wants to actively solve it

Decided he's going to assign Gollum to the problem (This also demonstrates Sam's interpersonal intelligence. He notices what Gollum's capable of and understands intuitively how it can be turned to something industrious and useful) (Sam has made some missteps in other areas which are in the next section)

Commanded Gollum to go hunt

Collected rabbits after they were provided (according to his request), and began skinning them

Watched Frodo sleep

Assigned Gollum to fill his cook-pans, specifically because he does not want to leave Gollum and Frodo alone together, which is sensible

Threatened to carve Gollum into mincemeat, while holding a knife

Watched Frodo sleep and reflected on his poor health

Skinned the rabbits and put them in stew

Been told a cook fire is a bad idea and declined to stop what he's doing. A character being told to stop doing something & continuing with it anyway is another way for that character to show agency.

Asked Gollum to fetch herbs and potatoes (was refused)

Foraged a few herbs himself

Eaten lovely stew (while lamenting that there are no onions in it, and no bowls to put it in ;_;)

Offered Gollum stew long after (hours after) Gollum got angry and left

...all because Sam initially decided he wanted to acquire and cook food, and then took every necessary step to make that happen of his own accord.

Sam is an active character with high agency.

He is also showing more care for Frodo here (watching him while asleep and fretting over his health, lamenting that he somehow made rabbit stew from nothing by using his resources (which do here include another character- people are also resources!) but he can't put it in a nice bowl for mr. frodo- there's just a lot more here, which is natural because prose is a more detail-rich medium. Not all of this would have fit in the movie and I'm not saying it should have.

Even allowing for time, however, I do think there would have been a way to collapse this scene to the needed time requirement and still have Sam in charge of it instead of Gollum.

The scene finally ends on:

Then he noticed a thin spiral of blue-grey, smoke, plain to see as it caught the sunlight, rising from a thicket above him. With a shock he realized that this was the smoke from his little cooking-fire, which he had neglected to put out.

Did anyone foresee this?

Gollum

In the movie, Gollum is foisting a gift on Frodo and forcing social interaction that he doesn't want.

In the book, Gollum wants to go away somewhere so he can eat and is pressed into reluctant manual labor instead

Gollum is a little different from the other two characters in that his personality and motivations are also completely different here. (Where as Sam at least still has the same goals of looking after Frodo and making food.)

The scene is in Sam's POV so what Gollum is thinking and feeling has to be inferred from his actions/words/tone, but he's not exactly subtle.

The movie scene starts off with Gollum turning up with rabbits. He dumps them in Frodo's lap. He makes a spectacle of himself. He starts mauling the corpses.

The book scene starts off with Gollum trying to slip away somewhere to eat in private.

That's another thing. Gollum doesn't demonstratively bite into things Gollum always slips away somewhere to eat in private. Earlier:

It was actually not long before Gollum returned; but he came so quietly that they did not hear him till he stood before them. His fingers and face were soiled with black mud. He was still chewing and slavering. [He didn't bring food back on purpose. He's still chewing because he only has six teeth.] What he was chewing, they did not ask or like to think. 'Worms or beetles or something slimy out of holes,' thought Sam. 'Brr! The nasty creature; the poor wretch! ' Gollum said nothing to them, until he had drunk deeply and washed himself in the stream. Then he came up to them, licking his lips. 'Better now,' he said.

(Emphasis added.. Imagine you just recruited a serial killer to your D&D-party-in-real-life and he silently turns up covered in mud and won't talk to you. It looks like he's been eating bugs. He won't speak. he won't tell you what he's eating.)

Back to the scene in question: Gollum's leaving. Sam flags him down and asks him to hunt.

'Hi! Gollum!' said Sam. 'Where are you going? Hunting? Well see here, old noser, you don't like our food, and I'd not be sorry for a change myself. Your new motto's always ready to help. Could you find anything fit for a hungry hobbit? '

He asks in an insulting and confrontational way. ('old noser' + 'Your new motto's always ready to help' reeking of suspicion)

To be clear, I'm not criticizing Sam whatsoever for disliking and being suspicious of the known murderer he's traveling with against his will. but the way he talks to Gollum does have consequences.

'Yes, perhaps, yes,' said Gollum. 'Sméagol always helps, if they asks -- if they asks nicely.'

Gollum is reluctant and asks to be treated politely. I don't find this response disproportionate or unreasonable. Consider what would happen if anyone talked to LOTR-era Bilbo Baggins the way Sam just talked to Gollum. The ash would still be falling from the sky.

Anyway Sam's response is to mimic the way he talks.

'Right!' said Sam. 'I does ask. And if that isn't nice enough, I begs.'

Gollum leaves, and is gone a long time. While he's gone, Sam gazes lovingly at Frodo, and - this is not directly relevant but I wanted to note it:

Gollum returned quietly and peered over Sam's shoulder. Looking at Frodo, he shut his eyes and crawled away without a sound. [Seeing that Sam and Frodo are occupied, Gollum slips away without interrupting, which is also a different vibe from 'assaulting Frodo with rabbits while he's just sitting there.'] Sam came to him a moment later and found him chewing something and muttering to himself

Look! There's a character arc happening in the background [but not in the movies] It will reach fruition at Cirith Ungol [in the books]

Anyway, Gollum is chewing on something so he's clearly taken time out to hunt for himself as well (note for context: He's disastrously underweight and has been complaining of hunger).

On the ground beside him lay two small rabbits, which he was beginning to eye greedily. 'Sméagol always helps,' he said. `He has brought rabbits, nice rabbits. But master has gone to sleep, and perhaps Sam wants to sleep. Doesn't want rabbits now? Sméagol tries to help, but he can't catch things all in a minute.'

Gollum has brought rabbits on command, and he's reluctant to hand them over. This is the direct opposite of bringing rabbits of his own accord out of nowhere and forcing them onto somebody.

'Now, Gollum,' he said, 'I've another job for you. Go and fill these pans with water, and bring 'em back! ' 'Sméagol will fetch water, yes,' said Gollum. 'But what does the hobbit want all that water for? He has drunk, he has washed.' 'Never you mind,' said Sam.

That was a reasonable question, asked politely and prefaced by 'yes I'll do it'. There's no call for a 'never you mind' and there's certainly no call for this:

`If you can't guess, you'll soon find out. And the sooner you fetch the water, the sooner you'll learn. Don't you damage one of my pans, or I'll carve you into mincemeat.'

Gollum does the work and is careful with the pans as requested.

He was just stooping over his fire, shielding it and building it up with heavier wood, when Gollum returned, carrying the pans carefully and grumbling to himself.

He set the pans down, and then suddenly saw what Sam was doing.

Gollum discovers that 'Never you mind' meant 'I am going to do something you find dangerous and terrifying' i'm pretty sure this is what he's seeing in his POV

He gave a thin hissing shriek, and seemed to be both frightened and angry. `Ach! Sss -- no!' he cried.

Gollum gets angry.

At this point in the movie, Gollum has:

Dumped rabbits in Frodo's lap

Told him to eat them

Played with the dead animals in front of Frodo

there's a cut to Sam cooking the rabbits- Gollum makes no comment at all on the safety or feasibility of a fire, but gets right up close to it to peer into the cookpot, so he must not be too scared of it.

In the book, Gollum has:

Tried to slip away, presumably to eat, because he's hungry. Or maybe he just wants alone time! Shelob is not in visiting range. He's not being dastardly. Leave him alone

He's been flagged down to do additional work, and interrupted from whatever he wanted to do

Went off somewhere. Caught two rabbits (with his bare hands, I assume??) Also caught at least one other thing, because he's chewing something when he comes back

Came back with rabbits

Left Sam to his tender moment with Frodo and went off for more alone time

Gently floated the idea that perhaps Sam doesn't want these rabbits anymore, surrendered the rabbits when asked

Agreed to another errand that is probably difficult for him to do, after hunting down at least two rabbits Up to this point Gollum has been called 'old noser', had his speech patterns parroted at him in a mocking way, had a polite question refused, and been told he will be 'carved into mincemeat' if he damages the cooking pans (does Gollum even know what a cooking pan is? When was the last time he's seen one? Was he just handed some foreign object and told 'put water in it and don't break it' 'of course! why?' 'stfu') Gollum has a whole long complicated history that would reasonably make him very prone to difficulties with emotional regulation. Severe trauma and centuries of social isolation are involved.

He only just now gets angry, now that he thinks Sam is going to start a forest fire and summon orcs and the first word out of his mouth is a relatively restrained 'Ach!' a word that doesn't even start with an F!

Gollum says fire is harmful and will draw enemy attention. Sam says essentially 'probably not but if it does that's too bad'.

Another bit of context is that Gollum has been presenting himself as the 'wilderness survival guy' and has obvious pride when he's talking about finding his way through the marsh. Sam isn't just being dismissive of Gollum, he's particularly dismissing something Gollum has real knowledge of and takes pride in that has nothing to do with being a corrupted evildoer.

Then Sam says he's going to cook the food.

'Stew the rabbits!' squealed Gollum in dismay. `Spoil beautiful meat Sméagol saved for you, poor hungry Sméagol! What for? What for, silly hobbit? They are young, they are tender, they are nice. Eat them, eat them!' He clawed at the nearest rabbit, already skinned and lying by the fire.

After all of that, we are at 'They are young, they are tender, they are nice. Eat them, eat them!' In the movie, the scene started with this line, apropros of nothing, and it's just. Yelled at Frodo. It's an invitation.

In the book: The same line is a cry of frustration. This isn't a non sequitur, this is a last straw! Gollum is hungry. He's been chronically hungry for a long time. The rabbits are exactly the kind of thing he likes to eat. They must smell amazing to him because now they're skinned. He had to turn them over to Sam after going to the work of hunting them (he didn't have to do this, he could have just not come back, or pretended he didn't find anything- whether or not his motives are pure, and they probably aren't, he's doing what he promised).

In return: Sam told him to do more work, and then started a fire- which Gollum seems to genuinely think is idiotic and puts his own safety at risk because he's stuck with these hobbits for the time being- Sam won't listen to reason and put it out, and to add insult to injury, that meat he insisted on?

HE'S JUST GOING TO RUIN IT

Imagine you were hungry and you brought someone an oreo (also you had to wander around in the woods and find the oreo and then surprise it from behind and break its neck), and that person just! scraped off the cream filling and replaced it with spray cheese! after that person called you a jerk and set a fire in a trash can! Maybe that person loves spray-cheese oreos! Maybe everyone but you loves them! I think you'd still be frustrated! (If you're the person who loves spray cheese oreos, pretend it's something else.)

On my first reading of the book this is where I got that sinking 'I am feeling a mite sympathetic to the horrible murderer that I know is just going to stay evil and die in the end' feeling. Gollum is being dreadfully annoying, but he's been pushed past his ability to self-regulate. It feels like the dynamic of antagonizing someone until they melt down and then criticizing them for melting down (Sam is not intending to do this, and doesn't even seem to notice that's what's happened, but the result is the same.)

Sam smooths things over and lets Gollum leave! until

Until

'Gollum!' he called softly. 'Third time pays for all. I want some herbs.' Gollum's head peeped out of the fern, but his looks were neither helpful nor friendly.

WHYEVER NOT?

'A few bay-leaves, some thyme and sage, will do -- before the water boils,' said Sam. 'No! ' said Gollum. `Sméagol is not pleased. And Sméagol doesn't like smelly leaves. He doesn't eat grasses or roots, no precious, not till he's starving or very sick, poor Sméagol.'

(Gollum was retching at the scent of flowers earlier. He may be annoyingly dramatic but I have no cause to doubt that they really did make him feel ill)

(also, I'm out in the weeds speculating now, but I just noticed Gollum is starting to spout off talking about himself and how he feels after Sam pooh-poohed his fretting about the fire, and it feels like a bid for recognition, did you notice Sam has not been calling him Sméagol? Sam isn't using his real name.)

The response:

'Sméagol'll get into real true hot water, when this water boils, if he don't do as he's asked,' growled Sam.

Gollum is here under duress and is cooperating with a quest that is in every way opposed to his personal interests and survival.

'Sméagol won't go, O no precious, not this time,' hissed Gollum. 'He's frightened, and he's very tired, and this hobbit's not nice, not nice at all. Sméagol won't grub for roots and carrotses and -- taters. What's taters, precious, eh, what's taters?

He hasn't had any rest because he was immediately sent off to hunt. I'll bet he is tired

Gollum is still willing to stop being angry because he saw a shiny new word, let's see how this goes

`Po-ta-toes,' said Sam. 'The Gaffer's delight, and rare good ballast for an empty belly. But you won't find any, so you needn't look. But be good Sméagol and fetch me the herbs, and I'll think better of you

Sam gives a cryptic answer and demands more work. 'I'll think better of you?' Lies! Gollum just did two errands and received nothing but more verbal abuse. Sam did not even thank him. This was where on my first reading I was saying to myself 'oh no Sam is mishandling this really badly and doesn't even notice'

I'll cook you some taters one of these days. I will: fried fish and chips served by S. Gamgee. You couldn't say no to that.' 'Yes, yes we could. Spoiling nice fish, scorching it. Give me fish now, and keep nassty chips! ' 'Oh you're hopeless,' said Sam. 'Go to sleep!'

Gollum doesn't understand what chips are. He just said he doesn't like plants or cooked food. He's tired and hungry and has been ordered around all day. He did everything asked up to now and in return he gets called hopeless.

Sméagol willingly, nonconfrontationally, successfully did two out of the three tasks, and when he refuses a third task after being demeaned and dismissed, he's called hopeless.

So Gollum leaves. That's the end of his involvement in this scene. he didn't hit anyone, bite anyone, or call Sam anything worse than 'not nice', 'silly' and 'foolish' (He does not call Sam a 'stupid fat hobbit', that appears to be a movie invention as well)

In the movies, he threw dead animals at frodo and some of this dialog was said without any of the context. haha funni.

The takeaways from the book version are that Gollum can understand and follow verbal commands and do errands (this is important because Gollum needs to be somewhat sane and lucid in order to satisfyingly be held accountable for his crimes), will cooperate when asked, communicates poorly, has trouble controlling his temper, and may at any time be in physical distress and not show it. (He doesn't give outward signs of fatigue.)

The takeaways from the movie version seem to be that Gollum is hyperactive, doesn't understand facial expressions, and finds cooking to be an alien custom. No one tried to ask him to do anything, so I have no idea whether he can understand requests and do tasks or not. May or may not be lucid.

Can we at least agree that Sam saying 'You're hopeless' after this:

Give it to usss rrraw… and wrrriggling! [Makes sickeningly happy face.]

is a different vibe from Sam saying 'You're hopeless' after hearing this?

'[Sméagol]'s frightened, and he's very tired, and this hobbit's not nice, not nice at all.'

Summary

Why is this scene the opposite?

Frodo has gone from being asleep but serving as an emotional anchor (both Sam and Gollum look at him and have some kind of emotional revelation, although the latter has his in private and we don't ever know what it is, the cad) to being awake but doing nothing and leaving. (He does go and find Faramir when the scene ends, but at that point, we are moving on to the next scene. so I don't count it.) Frodo has gone from affecting events while asleep to having no effect while awake

Sam has gone from being in charge of what's happening to passively reacting to a chaos gremlin

Gollum has gone from following orders until he can't take it anymore and suffering to being a chaos gremlin who does whatever he wants and seemingly having a good time? he's dancing around

The stew goes from eaten to uneaten

The overall purpose of the original scene appears to have been mainly to establish character and relationship dynamics. The movie scene... is doing the same, I suppose, but it's so brief and stripped of context that it almost feels like an homage more than a real scene, like it's there because they couldn't get away with entirely cutting it. And as every character is behaving contrary to what they used to in one form or another, the overall effect is:

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. Ask me about the waterfall scene next

[germiyahu]

Interesting that h*r*t*g*p*sts is so fixated on Hamas captives being subjected to annoying children's music. I already touched on this, but while continuously playing music in order to psychologically break someone has been a documented method of torture in interrogation, and I don't mean to downplay that (even though one might debate whether its intended to be psychological torture or merely trolling, but I digress)...

It's very weird to constantly bray about that all the while saying nothing of the freed hostages who said "Yes we were tortured, there are still people being tortured," and saying nothing about the 1st person documentary footage so generously filmed by Hamas as they tortured and raped countless people before summarily executing them.

This need to invert crimes against Israelis/Jews and to frame these Israeli crimes as inherently worse, inherently more immoral, inherently more mortifying... it's notable and it's not unexpected and it's part of a pattern. Part of it feels like gaslighting. Like I'm being subjected to someone breaking into my house and demanding I admit that hearing the Teletubbies theme on loop is the ultimate crime against humanity. But rape is apparently not now. Oh okay then.

Like sorry that just doesn't register quite as inhumanely cruel to me as... raping someone so hard her pelvis shatters, cutting off someone's breasts while she's still alive, making a man watch his girlfriend be brutalized by dozens of men before shooting both of them in the head... I won't go on.

Taking it at the best faith interpretation, you can condemn both you know. You can condemn Hamas' war rape, their brutality, their disregard for civilian vs military targets. You can also say the Israeli military and public making a meme out of humiliating people who've also usually been stripped naked is pretty gauche too. You can say that's a tactic of oppressing people who are just struggling for their liberation, sure. But you can't say that and literally pretend like the other just doesn't exist, or worse, isn't relevant. That's intellectual dishonesty of the most blatant kind.

[alex-rambles]

HII can I request a yandere bill cipher x reader oneshot when its weirdmageddon and the reader is kidnapped and just more of what they're doing in their pyramid. Sorry if it's a little confusing I tried to word it as best as I could 😅

YES. I GOT DRAGGED BACK INTO MY BILL SIMP PHASE.

He's pissed, you can tell.

The question is, what about? Did you do something? No, that's impossible, you've been stuck in one room for... how long, now? A few days, at least.

He finally appears in 'your' room, muttering to himself as he floats above 'your' bed.

"Sunspot, help me out. How does one go about breaking someone like Sixer?"

You do your best to ignore him.

"Are you deaf? I asked you a question!"

Bill rolls his eye and pokes you repeatedly. "Answer. Me."

"Shut up," you finally hiss at him. "I'm not an all-knowing demon. Breaking people is your department, not mine!"

"You're lucky I like you."

"Am I? I'd rather be a piece of stone on your throne than where I am!"

"Oh, no, no, no. If I didn't like you, I'd tear you apart, atom by atom. I digress, how does one break that man? He won't respond to torture! And I need that equation, sunspot! Then we can rule the world!"

You scoff. "What if I don't want to rule the world? Did you ever think of that?"

He probably didn't. He's too caught up in his little fantasy world to consider what the object of his obsession even wants.

His answer surprises you. "Of course I did! But you underestimate the way power gets to the head! Sureeee, you aren't interested now, but give it a bit, once you get a taste of real power-"

"For an all-knowing entity, you're a fool."

His eye narrows. He messes with his bowtie, clearly doing his best to restrain himself. "Is that so?"

"Absolutely! You're a selfish prick! You claim to love me, but you obviously don't even know how to treat the one you love! You're stuck in your stupid power fantasy! Get over yourself!"

Bill actually appears... hurt. That's new. You've thrown many, many insults at him, but he always laughed it off.

"Can you cut it out? I'm trying, you know that? I've done everything to make you comfortable! Keep your fragile human body functioning! Make you happy!"

"No! You're not! You're isolating me! I'm the opposite of happy! You're trying to force me into what I don't want!"

You scowl at him. "I hate you! I hope that Ford kills you! I hope that you have to watch everything you worked for get ripped away!"

For the first time, his voice turns quiet.

"Well, sunspot... Didn't know ya felt that way. I'm trying to make you happy. I promise, you'll learn to like it."

"I will kill myself before that," you spit.

With that, he crumbles.

"Nononono, you can't do that! I will not allow that! If you die, what will I have?"

"What, is world domination not enough? You're not just selfish, you're a greedy fuck."

You haven't really let your emotions run loose yet. But in this moment, something inside you just snapped. Whether it was the isolation, or just Bill being Bill, you don't know.

All you know is that Bill is upset, and it brings you some twisted form of joy.

"All humans die, Bill! I'd die eventually even if I don't off myself purposely!"

Well clearly, that's something he didn't want to even consider.

"NO! You won't die...! I won't let that happen...!"

You sneer and place your finger on his middle area. "Oh, I very much will. And I'll be the happiest person alive. Free from you and your madness."

Bill regains his composure. "You won't. I will absolutely never let you die. I like you too much to let you die. You're the only fleshbag I can genuinely say I like, and I refuse to lose that."

"Selfish bastard."

"Stop calling me names, you hear me? I hate that!"

"Oh my god! I hate being stuck with you, but I evidently can't do jack shit about it...! Sometimes, we just have to roll with what happens!"

Bill merely clasps his hands behind his back. "Clearly we both need space," he says calmly, as if his previous freakout didn't happen. "I'll give you a day, then we'll talk."

You collapse onto 'your' bed as he warps out of the room.

Absolutely unbearable.

P2

[cyberrose2001]

TFP Optimus x fem!Reader

Requested by @musicalmedli, who wanted a continuation/re-write of this fic -> read here

sorry it took so long! (literally months oop, writers block is an ass)

I wrote the smut first and asked questions later, so apologies if the flow is off a bit.

also is this an excuse to write reader and OP 69ing? yes maybe shut up

Warnings: OP seducing reader, mostly dom!OP, fem human reader, 69 position.

Word count: 1976

18+ ONLY MINORS DO NOT READ

Some time had passed since your embarrassing encounter with Optimus, and things around the base had been quite unusual, to say the least. Not only has Optimus been practically attached to your hip, but he’s also started behaving very strangely around you.

He smells nice, like he had somehow nabbed a fresh bottle of cologne. His frame looks cleaner and more buffed out than usual. One would say that the red and blue mech had taken more interest in the upkeeping of personal hygiene, which isn’t hard to believe. But what is hard to believe is the increasing amount of subtle winks he gives you when no one else is around.

You aren’t sure what’s got into him or why he constantly asks how your day was with a renewed suave. Maybe it might be better to confront him, but that thought seems to have manifested in reality as your phone pings a message from Optimus.

“Please meet me in my quarters.”, it reads.

Well, aren’t you the psychic?

-

This was probably expected coming from the recent behaviour of the Prime, but the shock never leaves your face as you close the door behind you and step into his candle-lit quarters.

Optimus is mass-displaced, slumping in a chair facing you, pedes half crossed on his knees, giving you a slight glimpse of his inner thighs. A forearm rests on the armchair, digits tapping rhythmically as if to send you into a trance. His other servo drapes lightly on his thigh, brushing against the inner protomass. You gulp, raking your eyes over every inch of his frame until you meet half-lidded optics. Soft but unquestionably oozing arousal.

You try to say something, anything, but your mouth runs dry from the pure, unfiltered sex radiating from him. Optimus notices and his thin-lined dermas curl up devilishly.

“Good evening,” Optimus hums, “Apologies for messaging you abruptly, but I’d like to talk with you if that is all right.”

From his body language alone, you’re sure that he didn’t call you here just to ‘talk’. But you digress; it could be something important. So, you nod, stepping into the dimly lit room.

“Uh, yeah. It’s ok. I wasn’t busy anyway,” You walk up to him with the hesitance of a newborn doe, “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“I suppose there is,” Optimus leans forward once you’re standing directly in front of him, his elbow on his knee, and holy fuck is he hot, “Can I just say how utterly bewitching you are?”

A pause, “M-Me? Surely not. I think you’ve got the wrong gal.”

“Was it not you that I attempted to court to forestall your leave?” Optimus tilts his helm, digits drumming on his knee, “It worked, did it not?”

You need to be very careful with your following words because the look Optimus is giving you right now screams, ‘If you say yes, I’m gonna fuck the brains out of you and give you the best orgasm of your entire life’. Which doesn’t sound too bad right now; your loins are on fire, and it’s becoming increasingly harder to think straight.

“I know you harbour feelings for me,” Optimus pushes his servos into the armrest and stands up. He then crouches down to be at eye level with you because even when mass-displaced, he still towers above you by a solid foot, “Say the word, and I will satisfy you enough to last you a lifetime.”

Your legs are about to give out, but that’s ok because you’ve taken the liberty to wrap your arms around his neck. Faces so close now that you’re breathing in his ex-vents, “Is that a challenge?”

Optimus’ optics dim, giving you the most sultry grin that rivals the sun. He wraps his arms behind you and picks you up, and you instantly wrap your legs around his waist, “Is that… your permission to proceed?”

You’re in too deep now. Slowly, you nod and cup his faceplate in your warm hands, inching closer and closer, “Yes.”

You close the distance to his dermas, and he fucking growls. His grip on your ass is firm as he returns the kiss with the intensity of a firestorm, glossa pressing against your tongue in an act of dominance.

After gaining your full permission and miraculously without breaking the heated kiss, Optimus throws you onto the blanket-covered berth behind you, thanking Primus that he had organised the soft landing before your arrival. And also a bit suspicious that he had fully expected to seduce you to get into your pants or lack thereof; because Optimus had clawed at them before you even had the chance to break the kiss and catch your winded breath.

You’re entirely at his mercy, with nowhere to run as he cages your upper body with his gorgeously robust forearms. His optics glow in a tantalising turquoise as he rakes them down your body, hungry and lustful.

While he soaks in the sight of you below him, it gives you time to appreciate how damn handsome he truly is. The soft orange glow of the candles highlights every crevasse, every perfect imperfection that he somehow missed buffing himself out for you. He’s gorgeous, and the faint smile he gives you tells you that he damn well knows it.

Optimus flirtatiously laughs before leaning his helm down to press a tender kiss to your neck, ex-vents like a gentle breeze on your skin, “You have no idea how long I have yearned for this.”

Feeling his glossa pressing against your neck, you softly moan, lulling your head to the side for more access. You can feel him suckle slightly, and your breath hitches, eyes fluttering shut. He’s marking you, and you have no choice but to submit yourself to him.

Well, maybe you have some choice. You remember Optimus trying to flirt with you via a very raunchy pickup line, not having any idea what it even meant. This might be your opportunity to give him a hands-on experience; you just have to tug the breaks slightly on this dominant Optimus train.

“-hggff- Optimus,” You gasp out and reach up to gently push his chest away; removing him from your neck was like Velcro, “Wanna try out that… position I told you about?”

Optimus hitches his breath. Ever since you whispered those lewd words into his audial receptors, the thought of you lying atop him as he indulges in your heat for the first time while you do the same for him makes his spark flutter, “I will not lie. It’s been on my mind for quite some time… I suppose we could attempt it.”

The whole reason it’s been on his mind in the first place was that you were the one who planted that thought in his processor, and now you just realised exactly why Optimus had been acting like a love-struck puppy around you. He fucking researched it, and it got him majorly flustered.

Optimus digs his servos beneath your back to cradle you and flips himself over, with you now draped across him. You sit up and make work of stripping the remainder of the clothes Optimus hadn’t shredded, and when you rip your bra off, his servos instantly press against your chest.

“Mmmm, these are delightful,” Optimus purrs, digits kneading into your plump flesh, “So very soft…”

You bite back a moan before pulling his servo away from you, “I know, but let’s not get distracted, hm? You can play with them after.” You then maneuver yourself so you face first with his interfacing array, which you notice is already bowed out; your breasts squishing against his abdominal plating.

“I see you’re already excited; wanna show me?” You purr as you palm him, drawing delightful shivers from him. You kiss his groin, and he nearly bucks up into you in excitement.

Optimus doesn’t hesitate to expose him to you, groaning as his thick spike unsheathes itself from its housing. And you’re fucking drooling. It’s gorgeous, has a slight lean and is absolutely rock hard, staring right at you.

You’re not the only one drooling. Optimus’ optics are laser-focused on your dripping pussy; it entices him to dive right in. He moves his servos to grip your ass cheeks, massaging them gently.

“Primus, what a sight to behold.” He breathes out, and the warm air tickles your heat. He leans in, flattening his glossa to lick a thick line from your clit to your hole.

“F-Fuck…” You gasp out, leaning your hips into his intake more. The way Optimus is lapping at your folds is very distracting, and you almost forget that you’re supposed to be returning the favour.

You grab his spike, running your fingers up and down in tandem with his glossa. It’s softer than you thought, similar to the malleable protomass beneath his metal exterior, and you can’t wait to get your mouth around it. You stick your tongue out and lick from the base to the very tip, and you can feel Optimus groaning into your heat as you do.

Feeling confident, you wrap your lips around his tip and apply gentle suction. You swirl your tongue, lapping up the pre-cum already spilling down, and you moan at the taste. If you’re not careful, you might get addicted to it.

You can’t say the same for Optimus, who drinks you with a fervour akin to someone lost in the desert and has discovered water for the first time in weeks. He wraps his arms around your waist, forcing you almost entirely to sit on his face. His glossa delves into your hole, and you cry out around his spike.

You’re almost thrown off him when you do, the vibrations from your throat sending an electrical shock through his hips as he bucks into your mouth. He’s deepthroating you now, and you must be a snake of some kind because this shouldn’t be possible unless you’ve unhinged your jaw.

“I’m sorry,” He takes a breath, pressing kisses to your sensitive bud, “I can’t -aggh- help myself. Your intake is so tight.”

“Keep going, Optimus,” You pop your mouth off him, using one hand to stabilise yourself on him and the other to pump him feverishly, “I’m so close, f-fuck.”

As soon as those fluttery words leave your mouth, you’re straight back to sucking his spike with all the strength you have left. Optimus has also continued his assault on your clit. He swirls his glossa and wraps his dermas around it, and you’re fucking done. You cum on his glossa so hard it’s like an explosion on your nervous system, rocking your hips against him involuntarily.

Optimus pushes your hips further onto his intake and tightly grips your waist as his own overload overtakes his senses, the rush of cum flowing onto his glossa combined with your relentless sucking being just enough to send him over the edge.

He overloads right into your throat, and you’re determined to swallow every last drop. You push his spike past your gag reflex, tears filling your eyes as the rush of stickiness overflows into your cheeks and past your lips, dripping down his spike as it spasms against your tongue.

Once you feel he’s completely finished, you pull your mouth off and gulp. There’s so much you couldn’t, but you mentally pat yourself on the back for swallowing what you could.

Optimus releases his hold on your waist, allowing you to manoeuvre yourself so you’re facing him again. And holy fuck, seeing his face drenched in your fluids is almost enough to make you cum again.

He gives you a dopey smile and wraps his arms around your waist, “That undoubtedly exceeded my expectations. Should I try to seduce you again someday?”

“I don’t think you need to,” You breathlessly chuckle, “You’ve already got me hooked.”

[bi-hop]

coming back to the kabru is like jesus if he was judas comparison. I think it's interesting that kabru always knew that he couldn't be the one to conquer the dungeon so he wanted to find people who could and support them, because he knows he's an excellent judge of character.

but the thing is, he still wants to be the hero. he still has a saviour complex. he's still envious that laios of all people is the one who has the potential to beat the mage. i think he wanted to be the one™ in some way . he *needed* to be needed by laios, he wanted to be like hermes, a psychopomp, or maybe charon, the ferryman that guides laios. so when laios /ignored/ him (not laios' fault truly he just . bad timing. sorry kabru) he felt resentful and yet even more determined to get in laios' orbit, to be the light. to be important in his eyes, like, judas when he said to the woman who used expensive oil to clean jesus ' feet. he said "why not just give it to the poor?" because he wanted praise. he wanted his teacher to look at him and go "look, i listened to you! i know what you teach!"

thats why laios rubbed off on him and he used a nutrition metaphor even because hes like. he wants to be jesus (the one to sacrifice himself and save the world from the dungeons to prevent another utaya) but hes judas (the adversary. the supporter from the shadows. the one who shows the soldiers (canaries) who jesus is. the one who " reported " him in the first place)

anyway yeah I think he has. a Jesus complex and when he met Laios he got mad with envy because he realized he was Judas help me

this is so good, turning it over in my head.

an element of kabru's character that grabbed me early on and is reinforced as he begins to bet on laios is his preoccupation with morality. people complain about the murder (bc people are lame BUT I DIGRESS!) but don't typically focus on the justifications he gives. even without knowing about the demon's nature, he is able to understand that greed and violence will only beget more of the same as those who can adapt will turn worse and those who cannot will be exploited or flee. for him, it's like ripping out weeds from a garden to protect what he cherishes.

I agree that he feels very self-critical when he finally admits that he can't be the knight in shining armor that he wants to be, due to his inability to survive as long as he wants in the dungeon. even without the motivation of going back to save falin, laios and his party had already went further on a regular basis than he has.

(shake me if I'm remembering wrong, but when we first meet kabru's party, isn't it one of their first times ever successfully making it to the third floor? lmao.)

and so the point to me was always that, yes, kabru wants to be the guy and yes, his party supports him as the guy, but realistically? he'd need someone else to at the very least support him. but he's very practical so it made immediate sense to me that he'd start looking for someone who he can either trust to take on the role or who is capable enough to get to a point where kabru could then take over. (again, all pre-finding out what being a dungeon lord truly means)

despite the latter being an option though, kabru's preoccupation with morality still stands. if he was truly the cold rational being some people seem to see him as, it would have been simple to simply throw his lot in with the first strong yet horrible person he observed. but he's picky selective. even with laios as his choice, he's CONSTANTLY fighting The Demons about it. his nightmare alone makes it clear that he has extremely well-rooted doubts and fears about what laios might do.

^ funniest page ever to me btw

but despite that, he still continually does the work of supporting him, albeit with a lot of setbacks and complications OADSJDODSOJD

i don't necessarily think the lens that we're currently taking is what ryoko intended but to conclude it is funny the themes of betrayal because technically kabru does betray laios' trust once lycion's like "ayo, he hates monster food btw, he's a SNAKE" and then he fumbles his way into... sort of regaining it? kinda? of course, by post-canon, he has it fully back, but speaking exclusively of the main story here.

[curbsidelemonaidstand]

Full Moon rant #2

THEY DIDNT MISCOMMUNICATE, THEY ACTUALLY COMMUNICATED SO MUCH AND IM VERY PROUD OF MY TRAUMATIZED BOYS.

okay, sorry for yelling, and I do want to say that I'm also very proud of this fandom for not picking sides. The amount of people who agree that both Stolas AND Blitzø are to blame is amazing and very uncommon for any fandom, but we did it boys.

That being said let me tell you my only grievance with that take. "Stolas and Blitzø are both to blame for the miscommunication"

Miscommunication.

The definition of miscommunication is the "failure to communicate adequately" which, in my opinion, neither of them did.

Stolas said Exactly what he meant. Did Blitzø misinterpret it at first? Yes, but was that corrected? Also yes! He knows now, he knows that everything Stolas said was the cold hard truth.

The only one who would count as a miscommunication was Blitzø and I still don't believe that truly fits because he did mean those words, they were just never meant to reach Stolas. In Blitzø's rant he is spilling his guts to Stolas and telling him about his biggest fears and insecurities.

We constantly see Blitzø as this overly confident over the top guy who has a lot of trauma but refuses to show anyone for fear of letting them get too close (I think after his arc with getting Fizz back in his life this is starting to change) but here? He is aware of their social differences, he doesn't turn a blind eye to the fact that Stolas has imp servants, he knows who holds the power in the relationship and it worries and scares him.

Was this hard for Stolas to hear? Obviously. It would be hard for anyone to hear and Blitzø immediately feels bad for laying this all on him as he goes to apologize, but it wasn't untrue and Stolas heard him.

Something we say in my family is you know someone is truly upset when they ignore or refuse to talk because at that point they've stopped communicating.

They are communicating! And sometimes it hurts to hear how someone truly feels! But the fact that Blitzø tried to continue the conversation, tries to insight the yelling match, he ends his rant with "Let's go!" Because if they're yelling then they're still talking and if they're still talking then they still have a chance of fixing things, but Stolas is the one that refused to elaborate, refused to talk, refused to hear Blitzø out.

That's not to say that Stolas is at fault AT ALL. Stolas was in a vulnerable state. He was not mentally prepared to actually have that conversation and making the decision to teleport Blitzø was probably in his best interest, but I digress.

Anyways TL:DR - Stolas and Blitzø didn't miscommunicate, they said exactly how they felt just at the wrong time, but now they know and can actually think about the others words seriously AND I'm so proud of them cause they actually communicated a lot more than I thought they would!

[gunsandspaceships]

Review of some anti-Tony comments from Ao3. Part 6

Let’s talk more about things from Part 1 today:

 “Tony was actively attacking someone from behind, who was just trying to leave.”

Eh? So how did that happen that he only attacked from behind ONCE? Semi-behind, to be exact - see my post with Part 1. Why Bucky tried to leave if he was innocent? Just like he did before with T’Challa. “Why did you run?”.

I’ll add the extension of that statement here so we could figure the whole thing out: “Steve was actively defending said person in any way, even if that meant attacking Tony from behind.

And before you get on me about how I'm being hypocritical - it's been done - it isn't the action that's being criticized, it's the WHY behind the action. Tony repeatedly attacked someone from behind who was only trying to flee the scene vs Steve repeatedly attacked someone from behind to protect his best friend from being killed. That's the difference between the two. You can't hold them to the same standard when their reasons for doing the same action are complete opposites. It isn't the action; it's the reasons BEHIND the action.”

Let’s think about the most appropriate thing Bucky could do in the scene instead. Well, first he could say “I’m sorry”. That would be a good start. Doesn’t matter if he was brainwashed or not – his hands were used. “Sorry” is always good in such situations. He didn’t do that.

Instead he raised his gun at Tony and was ready to fire at his face (CA:CW 2:03:15). Yes, Tony hit Cap there. But it was for a reason. And you simply don’t point a gun at a guy who just watched his parents die by your hands, if you are innocent and truly regret this. It was so wrong to attack him that it just showed Bucky’s position “there’s nothing to explain and nothing to apologies for”, if the best thing Bucky could do is to raise his gun and run. Low and cowardly.

But we should actually take a closer look at that scene (starting from 2:02:17), because it’s even more complicated if we watch the scene frame by frame.

2:01:33 – Tony is watching the video of his parents’ death. Steve looks at him with a very interesting expression. At him, not at the video. He already knows what’s going on there. He is looking at Tony for his reaction.

2:01:38 – focus on Bucky who looks a bit regretful, looking at the floor first, but then raising his eyes to Tony.

2:01:53 – Tony hears his father saying “Sergeant Barnes” and his mother calling “Howard!”. Tony glances at Bucky.

2:02:05 – Winter Soldier hits Howard in the head and kills him. Tony’s expression tells us he is enraged.

2:02:25 – Winter Soldier kills Maria, strangling her with his biological hand.

2:02:33 – video ends with Winter Soldier shooting at the camera. Tony is in shock. Steve is looking at him, saying nothing. He had enough time to say something.

2:02:40 – Tony turns to Bucky and makes a step towards him. Not putting his helmet on. He is not attacking yet. Most probably he just wanted to grab him by his jacket and ask some questions or something like that. What Bucky does? He raised his gun at him. We can see tears in his eyes. Why did he do that then?

2:02:42 – Steve says “No, Tony. Tony”. He says that to calm him down, and that would be a good start. But then he does some “stupid-ass decisions”, how Fury would put that.

2:02:45 – Tony turns to him. He is devastated. He just realized something. “Did you know?”. Steve’s eyes are shifting rapidly, and after a long pause (when he was thinking of what to say, I guess), he says “I didn’t know it was him”. By his behavior here we can infer that he is lying. Tony sees it “Don’t bullshit, me Rogers. Did you know?”. Steve looks Tony in the eyes and swallows hard. “Yes”.

Let’s make a digression to show Steve really knew that Bucky killed Tony’s parents.

CA:WS 1:04:50 – Zola is explaining how Hydra eliminated unwanted individuals. Chronicle footage shows Bucky with a sniper rifle and then next frame with news article about Starks’ death. Zola says “Accidents will happen”. Next few frames show Howard in the car in the same position Bucky left him in the CA:CW 2:02:10 scene.  Then Fury’s file is shown, “deceased” – another victim of the Winter Soldier. No need to be a genius to put two and two together. Especially when you don’t know that there were other Winter Soldiers yet. There were no other options – Steve and Nat knew that Howard was killed by Bucky from that exact moment. But let’s add more evidence, shall we?

CA:WS 2:05:28 – Natasha gives Bucky’s case files to Steve. Logic tells us that they should contain his targets. Including Howard and Maria.

CA:CW 2:15:52 – Steve’s letter says “I know I hurt you, Tony. I guess I thought by not telling you about your parents I was sparing you, but I can see now that I was really sparing myself. And I’m sorry…”

Conclusion is pretty clear, isn’t it?

Let’s get back to the pre-fight situation:

So Steve admitted that he knew who killed Tony’s parents (and his own old friend btw).

2:03:05 – Steve’s “Yes” hits Tony. Rogers is just looking at him there. No sorrow or regret in his eyes. Tony loses it.

He is the victim in this scene. He came to help and was betrayed again.

2:03:12 – he hits Rogers with back of his hand. Cap is thrown a couple of steps back.

2:03:15 - Tony puts his helmet on. Now he is going to attack.

Put yourself on his place and answer the question “wouldn’t you act the same way?”. If your answer is “nope, I wouldn’t” - try to pass a CAPTCHA, because you are most probably a robot.

Same moment – Bucky points his gun at Tony. He almost opens fire, but Tony shoots the gun with a repulsor, knocking the weapon out of Bucky's hands. Back to the beginning of this essay – why would you shoot at a victim? Tony, most probably, would just hit him couple of times using his hands, if he had not faced counter aggression.

 Bucky is not running here. He wasn’t trying to run until Steve told him to at 2:04:02. He is attacking Tony. Look at his face (2:03:17). This is not the face of regret or sorrow.

[ultimateloserboy]

i cant go to sleep until i release the thoughts so here they are. im sorry if this is a bit more nonsensical or rambleish than my other ones, im very very tired but anyway

this is going to be a bit upsetting for the lovey-dovey sunshine and rainbows crowd but people give red guy and duck WAYY too much credit when it comes to their relationship (or at least how it used to be) like they DID NOT //start out// functional AT. ALL. they used to go together like a car and a tree. and honestly this makes them even more interesting

They’re both insecure in different areas, and they react differently to these insecurities as well. from what ive gathered, red guy dislikes how “odd” he is. he tries to act bitter and uncaring about everything and everyone, either to fit in with the other red things, or to keep himself distracted or distanced from the world hes stuck in. he distances himself from his friends as well. this is a horrible contrast with ducks outward and open love of his friends (despite how horribly he treats them lmao but i digress) duck reveals in the family episode that despite loving himself, he wants other people to love him too. duck is not necessarily insecure in himself, hes the best one after all, but he does feel very lonely. he feels like nobody loves him as much as he loves himself, like the only person he truly has is himself because nobody else is willing to love him. this obviously makes him feel very alone. this is why red guys denial and dismissal of his friends hits ducks insecurities harshly and directly, even if its not intentional.

once i got to the fridge scene during my first watchthrough i was very confused. firstly because i was utterly flabbergasted that they were gay for some reason (i had never even considered it), and secondly because ducks reply caught me off guard. duck is a very full-of-himself character. so why would he be surprised to find out someone likes looking at him? shouldnt he reply with something like “well yeah duh you big stupid idiot im the prettiest and the best etc etc”?? well i understand now why duck reacted that way. he doesnt get many compliments from anyone but himself, probably talking in the mirror. and he ESPECIALLY hadnt gotten many compliments from red guy at this point. red guy denied being his friend very adamantly. EVEN AT HIS FUNERAL. HIS FUNERAL!!! and yes red guy does realize he misses duck eventually, but duck isnt even there to see it, and when he comes back he finds himself literally replaced?? (like.. red guy ur fumbling so hard right now. fumbling straight into a divorce. and ur not even married yet man. but anyway, back on topic)

slowly throughout the series red guy starts being more open, and whether he realizes it or not his whole uncaring act isnt that good to begin with. my favorite small detail during the funeral is that red guy calls the plates “our plates” without even realizing it, right in the middle of denying his best-friendship with duck. like dude who do you think youre fooling other than yourself!?

with all of this considered, despite red guys poor performance of denial, it’s perfectly understandable for duck to be surprised when red guy openly confesses his honest emotions. an up-front confession of feelings is not something red guy ever wants or allows himself to do, so duck was probably confused as hell.

my favorite part of this scene is how red guy is looking away when he says it, still clearly embarrassed but saying it anyway. this is a HUGE deal for his character. it was a character development that had been slowly growing throughout the tv series, and by episode six i think it was as close to completion as its ever been. he does pull the whole “its fine just ignore it” thing with duck earlier in the episode, but he does it more to calm him down in this context. the fridge scene confirms to me that red guy has almost stopped running, not necessarily from the house, but from his friends. he has finally let himself love them. hes finally let himself admit not just to himself, but to duck, that hes important to him.

this is why i think theyre so interesting, because these two characters are cynical assholes. that’s how becky and joe have described them at times. these characters are not the best of people, theyre both messed up people in a messed up and confusing world, so of course they wont be perfect. but thats the beauty of it. they dont want to hurt eachother, so they try their best to change. they try their best to fight against the cruelty of their minds and surroundings and let themselves love eachother even if only for a second, even if in the end it wont really matter

ok im going to sleep now goodnight

[tachiguin]

If you were Kafka, what would you change in BSD

Sorry, this question has been sitting in my inbox for a very long time. I think it’s kinda hard for me to answer this question, because to a certain degree I’m tempted to say “I wouldn’t change anything at all”. Like, for all that I criticize media like Bungou Stray Dogs for various things, I also think that the media we consume shouldn’t be required to be so perfect that there’s nothing to criticize. If anything, criticism is a major part of what drives discussion in fandoms. Moreover, as much as I may feel “Kafka Asagiri shouldn’t have done X”, I’m not really inclined to want to change X about the series? Maybe it’s just because I approach it from the mindset of a reader, not an author, but I think that its OK for me to disapprove of certain aspects of a series, and still not want anything to change about it. Like, if I was given full control to change anything I wanted, it probably wouldn’t be the same Bungou Stray Dogs at all, starting with Mushitarou’s awful hairstyle, BTW. Honestly I might just kill the guy off if it was up to me, I don’t really like looking at his face……. but I digress!

Having said that, I still do think certain aspects of the series could be changed to better appeal to myself. But again, I don’t want anyone to think that my opinion is more “correct” than what Kafka Asagiri himself decided for the series. This is literally just my personal thoughts on the matter, just like how if it was up to me Oguri Mushitarou and his slimy hair would not exist in Bungou Stray Dogs, even though, objectively, he’s fine and well written and nothing really needs to change about him, except I really want him to sue his plastic surgeon, and his hairdresser, like hello? Way to make a guy look unrecognizable, I guess.

Sorry, I’ll stop trashing on poor Mushitarou. I’m serious though.

The two major changes I’d make are the role of female characters in the series, and also the way that the concepts of self-sacrifice and “honorable suicide” are presented. I think these aspects are the biggest gripes I have with the story, but I also think that, especially in regards to the latter, the series wouldn’t necessarily be the same, or even “better”, if it was changed.

I’ve never really made a post going in depth about how I feel in regards to BSD’s female cast, but I’ve mentioned before that I think the fandom really underrates most, if not all, women in Bungou Stray Dogs. But in retrospect, I can’t really blame it all on the fandom’s general misogyny; the way that Asagiri portrays women in his story doesn’t really do anything to discourage the lack of appreciation for his female cast. The thing is that she’s almost always the side chick. She’s an accessory to hang off of his arm. She’s motivated solely by him, whether that be his goals, or just because she—and it’s never really explained why—is deeply and hopelessly in love with him. Who is this “she”? Who am I talking about, in particular? Literally every female character, barring maybe Yosano, might fit the descriptions I gave above. That’s how bad Kafka Asagiri is at giving his female characters agency.

It’s okay to have a character with a plotline that’s intertwined with another character. It’s okay to have a character that’s motivated by external forces. It’s okay to have a supporting character who doesn’t really do much except move the plot forward. It’s starts to become annoying when all of these characters are women, while their male counterparts get the better end of the deal.

Sometimes I hear people say that Kafka Asagiri is good at writing women, and I think, in response, that shounen anime has truly brought our standards down, six feet under the dirt where every interesting female character to exist in animanga is buried. Yes… Asagiri doesn’t shy away from writing female characters who can fight, and even, gasp! Fight well, but this is literally the bare minimum, especially for a magical setting that takes place in the modern age. Asagiri can create female characters with interesting traits and a lot of potential, then subsequently assign all of her traits to serve a male character’s narrative, while actively sabotaging any potential she had by utilizing her as a plot device.

And maybe I would be less annoyed if it went both ways. Kyouka has saved Atsushi quite a handful of times, why doesn’t he worship the ground she walks on and dedicate his entire life to helping her fulfill her goals? Actually, on this topic, the reason why is because Kyouka doesn’t have any substantial goals outside of being Atsushi’s sidekick for life. Now, I absolutely adore Kyouka and Atsushi’s relationship, found family is still my favorite troupe ever, but it’s noticeable that while Atsushi’s search for self-esteem and a so-called “reason to live” is the literal narrative core of the series, Kyouka, who had found herself struggling with a similar internal conflict, is by comparison, almost never explored further. When was the last time the story checked back up on Lucy, and how she’s feeling? Yeah, she’s in a better place now, but isn’t she still haunted by her years at the orphanage, under the Guild’s thumb, being treated like a pawn on the chessboard, just as so many male characters have been shown to feel in wake of their own traumatic experiences? Doesn’t she struggle to find a new purpose in life, now that she’s no longer stuck doing someone else’s bidding just to survive?

We only ever see a brief glimpse into the thoughts and feelings of BSD’s female cast, before the door slams shut, and they’re relegated to some background role where it doesn’t really matter how she feels, she just wants to help the guy who saved her life, that’s all we really need to know before we can start advancing the plot again. Well, I want to know more. 

It would also be great to have more female characters who are motivated by something other than her desire to help or hurt another—oftentimes male—character. How come he’s allowed to delusionally seek world domination, and she isn’t? How come he’s allowed to desperately want to save everyone in spite of a cruel reality, and she isn’t? How come he’s allowed to be motivated almost solely by his selfish need for the validation of another, and she isn’t?

Which brings me to another avenue to consider: characters like Akutagawa and Rampo are shown to be fanatically devoted to another character, to the point that Dazai or Fukuzawa could say “Jump,” and they’d be in the air even before asking “How high?”. But here’s the thing: Akutagawa’s devotion is entirely self-centric, and it’s examined as such. He doesn’t selflessly want to help Dazai, no questions asked, he craves the peace of mind that Dazai’s affirmation would bring about, and consequently does anything he can to gain that validation. Not only that, but it’s portrayed as unhealthy and a problem when Akutagawa blindly does whatever Dazai asks of him, but somehow, this doesn’t apply to Louisa and Fitzgerald, Teruko and Fukuchi? Hmmmmmm!

Simply put, there’s a double standard here, and I’d like it to change, because BSD really does have a female cast with a lot of potential, if only Asagiri cared to utilize it.

***

In regards to Thing I'd Want To Change #2, I remember tag-dumping about this awhile back, but it somewhat bothers me that in order to pass the Detective Agency’s entrance exam, Atsushi and Kyouka were required to put their lives on the line to save another (even though, in Atsushi’s case, it was all staged). This might not have been a problem for me if the Detective Agency weren’t the good guys in this—or even if it was emphasized in some other manner that it’s OK to save yourself first, like c’mon, that’s just common sense, they teach you such in elementary school during a fire drill. But unfortunately, not only was Kyouka’s feelings on the matter never expanded on, Atsushi continues to believe that he needs to save people to deserve to live.

However, I do think that there’s still room for development here. Bungou Stray Dogs is not a completed work, so who’s to say that Atsushi won’t have a different outlook on life by the final chapter? Moreover, I think that in the situation where Atsushi first reached this conclusion (on the subway with Yosano and Kaji), Atsushi was probably in a worse mindset prior. For him, he felt that he wanted to live, but that he didn’t deserve to, so therefore, in order to justify his own existence, he grasped a “reason to live”, a motivation to not simply give up and perish right then and there, alongside a train full of innocent people. It was a very “in the moment” kind of thing, that would serve as a foundation for later developments. Again, I think it’s fine that this is his way of thinking now, but someone genuinely needs to tell this boy that it’s not a matter of “reasons” or whether he deserves to or not, living is just something we do without really thinking about it, so its okay if that he lives in that kind of unapologetic manner.

Still, the Detective Agency’s exam is kind of harsh, yet I don’t think it’s necessarily something I would do away with completely, as much as I would reframe it to better fit the message I would want to send. The thing is that working at a superpowered organization that regularly gets into scuffles with the local mafia is in no way safe, and your life insurance probably won’t cover it when you get magically killed and dumped in the river. So it is understandable if a minimum requirement for becoming a member is that you’re okay with getting caught in life or death situations on a semi-frequent basis. It may also be a desired trait that you’d be willing to rescue civilian lives at little benefit to yourself, though not necessarily always in the context of self-sacrifice. Sure, it’s a crazy way of interviewing for these attributes, but it’s not like people don’t lie on their resume, and also, the Detective Agency was established early on to be full of crazy people. You must be this bugfuck insane to join, if you fail the vibe check you die, sorry!

In all seriousness, I think the concept of living, and in particular, having a reason to live, are a major part of Bungou Stray Dog’s themes, and changing it to suit my own opinions better would probably drastically uproot whatever message Asagiri wanted to send, whatever feelings and opinions of his own that he injected into the characters of Atsushi, Dazai, Kyouka, and the like. Even if I myself do not fully agree with the narrative, I still think its okay to have media that tells a different feeling, shares a different experience, and presents a different opinion.

Anyway, this got really long, sorry I was too lazy to include many embedded pictures to break up the text walls. If you read this far to the end then I appreciate and love you dearly, hopefully I made some degree of sense and didn’t just sound like I was rambling out of my ass.

[callmearcturus]

I like your show pony analysis, especially re: the pov blending, but I feel it also really rings true as a story of a kid watching a dysfunctional relationship between his parents, and of course later seeing it echoed in his own relationships. It's probably the more obvious layer of interpretation, but to me the emotional core is stored in the specificity of anecdotes about the ways a mother and wife performs when trapped in an abusive relationship (and the lessons a kid takes away from that) - autobiographical not just in the sense of experiencing that adult relationship but also having been caught in the cycle of it from your own upbringing.

thinks hard

okay yes, i will accept this. the duality of "I am walking the same paths of my mother" has a satisfying connecting click with the later repeated refrain of you held me like my mother made me just for you, held me so close that I broke in two in "Creatures" and the even later I veer left when I walk-- really? this is what you want? cause you'll find a better one, someone functional and how it pairs with a old trauma of I think we're formed from old lego

there are a lot of interesting repeated motifs and themes across all of Glass Animals' work and the sense of mirroring the burden of your mother without blaming her is a very loud one, all the way back to "Youth" and then every third song of Dreamland and now every third song on ILYSFM

imo Glass Animals has a truly massive queer audience (like, I was at the Alpharetta, is was like everyone was putting on a Visible Queerness Fashion Show, my brother got roped into taking pictures for people like five separate times!) because there is nothing heterosexual about any of this music and "Wonderful Nothing" is just the cherry on top

but personally what I find really interesting about HTBAHB/Dreamland/ILYSFM* is the gender thing, which Dreamland just started saying out loud from the fucking FIRST SONG

You go ask your questions like, "What makes a man?" Oh, it's 2020 so it's time to change that So you go make an album and call it Dreamland

which is the prime example of using second person about yourself

but at this point this is a whole separate (but related) digression

*sorry to leave ZABA out, it's still weird and gay but in a different way that's less focused lyrically

[theunderratedarteest789]

since you seem interested in the "kokushibo adopts the totiko twins au" Ive decided to bombard you with some more of my thoughts on it (so sorry)

-I imagine kokushibo feels guilty for leaving his children and loves the totiko children to make up for that guilt. Still, when the twins ask about his children since they are naturally curious about there lineage, he lies to them and says that he was a good father so he hasn't partially taken the blame for it.

-However despite "hating his brother" he always tells the totiko stories about him, usually at first talking about his poweress, until later digressing into funny stories about him when they were kids because he like seeing yui and mui laugh.

-He sees the twins in different ways. yui he sees more in himself, the older more protective and harsher twin. In mui, he sees yoriichri, which I imagine makes him instinctly more protective of him even though he denies it.

-Yui loves most of the uppermoons specifically gyuratro when he com es out ad mui absolutely hates gyokko and has beef with him. Both decided that akaza is their designated favorite besides kokushibo obviously.

anyway sorry for bothering ^^

OMG HI HELLO! YES I AM INTERESTED AND LOVE THE AU SM YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW 😭😭

ALSO I'M SO SUPRISED YOU FOLLOWED ME, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE NOTIFIED ASWELL WHEN I REBLOG FROM YOU AAAA I'M SORRY FOR BEING ANNOYING 😭😭😭

Okay uhm anyways, yes the first one you said is basically my motive for him aswell Yoriichi prob said smtg to him before he died of old age like "I'm sorry for bringing you into this brother, if I didn't maybe you would live a happy life with your wife and kids.." and then say something after like "I envy you brother... You got to have a nice family.. though I am very happy for you.." and that's how Kokushibo felt horrible for leaving his kids in some way, but still "hates" Yoriichi. And so, after that he watches his family from afar, seeing his bloodline grow one by one, to Yui and Mui, and seeing a demon go to their house and save them was Parental instinct 😭😭😭

And yes I also thought he would tell stories of Yoriichi and how powerful he is, all of his accomplishments, etc. He still feels very conflicted about Yoriichi still but seeing Yui and Mui warms him for some reason 🥺

I THINK THE SAME WAY TOO LIT IT RUNS IN THE BLOOD, THE OLDER TWIN IS THE HARSH TWIN AND THE YOUNGER TWIN IS THE SOFT TWIN HHHHH 🥺😭

I also thought of their interactions with Upper Moons! But it's for the ones were Koku turns them both demons! I would find their interactions like this if they're both humans:

Doma: Since I'm sure they'll be 11 y.o. they would probably scared of him but think his eyes are pretty, and Doma would also love to play with them! Though Kokushibo really probably doesn't trust him but he knows that if he trusts the twins in Doma's care, the twins would have a safe and cozy place like the paradise and would provide food from his followers, plus Doma is second strongest after him, he trusts that Doma will protect them quickly. If the Twins aren't Demon slayers then they'll probably have a really good time with Doma, especially if Doma makes them ice statues of them!

Akaza: He would reluctantly do cause yk... Kokushibo and all that but I think he'll get along with them a lot later on, Akaza would probably show a very softer side of him to the twins and maybe train them a little.

Hantengu and His clones: I think they would make flowercrowns for Hantengu 🥺! I think the twins would atleast once make fun of his appearance and lump on his forehead but since Hantengu cries a lot the twins would feel bad afterwards and make it up to him by making flowercrowns!!! (They would probably still pick on him but not a much lol). For the clones, Urogi and Karaku would be the very playful ones, while Sekido and Aizetsu wouldn't be as much but would try their best.

Gyokko: HAHAHAHAHA OH BOY I KNOW THEY'LL MAKE FUN OF HIM A LOT, ESP FOR HIS ART SKHDKSJDKS- Kokushibo rlly need to cut off the fights and protect the twins from Gyokko. Also since they keep insulting his art, Gyokko would do all he can to pull smthing outta his pot to atleast impress them PFFT- I thought of a scenario that he thought to put one of his fish minions in his water prison pot and that's the "art" the tokito twins will be interested in, and Gyokko would snap and yell at them saying something like, "YOU BRATS, THAT'S THE THING YOU'RE IMPRESSED AT??? IT'S SO SIMPLE AND BORING, YOU BOTH HAVE NO TASTE WHATSOEVER!!!"

Daki and Gyutaro: I think they'll get a long well! Since they are siblings too! Daki would prob dress and make up Mui and Yui pretty lmao, and take them around the entertainment district haha- Idk abt Gyutaro but he would try his best, he would probably find it difficult since Daki is the only sibling he's had and she turned out to be like... That cuz of Gyutaro, so he'll need to find other ways. But I think the twins would be happy around them!!!

ANYWAYS THIS IS SO LONG I'M SO SORRY!!! I also wanted to draw something related to this but I didn't felt like it, so I found these old doodles I made back in April (?) that's quite similar-ish to what we're talking about, But it's mostlu for shits and giggles ahaha, anyways this has gone long enough, thank you user sapphickocho for stopping by and be my first question!!! 🥺🥺🥺

[thewayuarent]

Perfect victim Sand

(Except he’s not)

Sand is a quite interesting case to study. There are a lot of things to love about him and trust me I do. But. He is the closest thing we have in this show to the perfect victim idea. I mean, even Force jokes about it (god I love this man).

The thing is, I have a strong feeling that huge part of the fandom literally adopted him. Like you know, compensating him absent mommy and daddy. His mother is great woman, she’s loving and caring, but she is far from an actual parental figure - @emotionallychargedtowel made a great analysis on that topic and how it clearly influenced Sand.

Maybe that’s something about Sand being genuinely loving and caring character himself. Maybe it’s because we spend 5 episodes with him being absolutely adequate and not minding others business and by the moment of episode 6 the idea of Sand was already formed. Maybe it’s about Ray pulling Sand through a lot of shit. Maybe it’s something about First’s babygirl vibes, amazing microexpressions and his big boba eyes that easily penetrates the soul. Maybe it’s all the above and more.

But Sand gets the most I’ll protect him by all cost vibes (I get it, I want to protect him too, he’s my sad stupid baby, how can I not). And while it’s understandable to some degree, it doesn’t mean Sand is a victim in every situation he himself, series or fandom try to apply on him.

And yes, it’s specifically about Sand and Top beef. While we don’t know the full story yet, we know the basis: Sand had a lover, this lover cheated on him with Top. Right? Except that in Sand’s mind this story looks a bit different.

Not once, but twice Sand claims that Top “stole his lover”. And I’m sorry to bring it to you, my precious sad baby with big beautiful eyes, but your lover is a human being. They’re not a car, or watch, or a cow. They are a person. And as a person they make decisions.

Unless we’ll find out that Top literally put a bag on their head and dragged them away into his basement, Top didn’t stole anyone. This person cheated on you. It sucks, I get it (Mew probably gets it even better than me). It hurts a lot. It’s absolutely not Sand’s fault. But it’s not Top’s fault either.

Yes, hitting on someone’s lover is a douche move (if Top knew about Sand and didn’t care and I wouldn’t surprised but we don’t know for sure). Yes, Top is an arrogant jerk who behaves like a toxic bitch with anyone except for Mew. Yes, in that hospital scene I kind of wanted to punch him in his hot smug face.

But Sand’s lover cheating is not his responsibility.

And Sand’s choice of actions is stealing and spreading fucking revenge porn. Where is not only Top he hates so much but also Boston who did to Sand what? Made an ugly scene on his birthday and ruined his whatever it was with Ray? Bitchy behavior 100%, but not on, you know, illegally recorded sex tape level.

He regrets it later, but two people he apologized to - rightfully so - are Ray and Nick. Not, you know, Boston for example.

I mean, how the thing Sand did with Top is different from the thing Mew did with Boston? In details - yes. In motivation and general action - the same shit.

And I know that the majority of saving Sand agenda is directed towards his relationship with Ray. I get it. I feel it (I have a very complicated mix of very complex feelings about that one but I digress). But I do feel that Sand isn’t criticized enough for his actions towards Top (and Boston).

Compare it with the amount of criticism towards:

1. Nick recording and using TopBoston footage;

2. Boston recording and using RayMew footage;

3. Mew stealing and using Boston footage;

The only person I doubt here to criticize hard is Ray cause while he got and resend this fucking sex tape and I do think it was wrong I kind of understand his situation. I mean he did receive it passively not actively and I doubt Mew believed him without proof. It still sucks from his side to use it and I don’t forgetting him but he was kind of a tool not a participant so yeah.

All of them are clearly wrong and deserve discussion about their behavior and all the critique they get. But so as Sand. The thing is, Sand is not a victim of Top.

Top is a victim of Sand.

And it’s absolutely not about Top being good or bad or Sand being good or bad it’s really about humans being complex and depending on that specific situation. It’s always about complexity and context.

Sand is, if generalizing, a good person. But he also selfish by some degree and categorical and has some deep trauma over his ex lover. And he does fucked up stuff.

That’s why I found Sand’s attitude towards Mew especially interesting. With MewTop situation he probably didn’t really care but at some level had a sense of justice. In his eyes, Mew is as victim of Top as he was. So Mew deserves to know the truth.

But with MewRay? And that’s where the fun (and also clear speculations) begins. Sand doesn’t have a beef towards Mew about Ray loving him and prioritizing him over Sand, at least for now. Maybe because he learned something through his last relationship, but with his behavior towards Top I doubt it. It’s probably partially because Ray is technically not his lover or boyfriend or monogamous partner - he doesn’t owe Sand anything and while he’s angry and sad he understands that.

But it may also be about the Mew technically being there first. You know, how Sand was with his lover until Top appeared. Ray loved Mew way before he even knew Sand exists. It’s actually Sand in this analogy who takes Ray away from Mew (not that he knew about it or Mew cared but you get my point). So Sand doesn’t blame Mew for being with Ray. He probably - understandably so - blames Ray for playing with his feelings and also blames himself for falling into it.

And now here is a part when I just speculate about cool plot line we’d probably never get so feel free to stop reading now. Like for real. So Sand is fine with Mew and, honestly, good for him. My question is: if Sand will buy this RayMew relationship thing. And then Ray gets back to him. Will he resist temptation?

We have a small chance that Sand will get some self respect and won’t take Ray back immediately, of course. But in a case of Mew. If Sand is stupid enough to believe there is something happening between Ray and Mew from Mew’s side, will he stay away cause of respect towards Mew and their relationship? Or will he “play Top card” and - how was it? - steal Ray to himself?

Cause oh my lord he wants Ray for himself. He can agree with Nick and his “I don’t want be his first and only it’s enough to be with him” as much as he wants but we all know that even Nick doesn’t really think so. Sand probably also doesn’t want to deal with Ray at all by that point but totally opposite desires can coexist.

It would be really interesting to watch his internal conflict about being better person but still losing to his desire plays out but I really doubt Mew and Ray will last long enough to us see it.