It's warm.
In the cold night of the Devildom, warmth is brought to you by the body of a familiar sorcerer.
Solomon is asleep beside you, his chest softly rising up & down as your face is buried in it. A soft, dim light is glowing from the nightlight beside you.
It's quiet.
You look up & see Solomon's face, observing the way his white hair fans his face, the shape of his jaw, the tip of his nose... you take it all in, blatantly staring.
His arms are sprawled over your waist, hugging you close, as if he doesn't want to let go. The moon glows from the window right above the headboard of your bed. You hear the sound of faint, yet lively chatter from outside. It must be some stray demons celebrating something.
Though there's some noise, it's peaceful.
You want to stay like this forever.
You want to stay with him forever.
Is that even possible? You're just a human. You're only human. You're not some powerful, immortal sorcerer like he is. You'll live out your years with Solomon, most likely dying peacefully next to those you love, while he'll be left to deal with the aftermath of your passing. You don't want to do that to him. You don't want to leave him.
It's painful.
There's something wet rolling down your cheeks before you know it. Your nose gets stuffy, and it's hard to breathe.
You look up, checking if he's still asleep. It would be silly for him to wake up to you crying over a distant future. You're still so young.
Though, for your Solomon, this time will pass by in a flash.
When you're gone, will he remember you? Will he leave you to be with someone else? Someone who can stay? Someone who won't leave him, someone that's not weak, like you?
When you're gone, will he remember your face? Will he miss your voice, and remember every little detail about your appearance, like he does now? Will he remember the touch of your skin against his?
Solomon stirs in his sleep, trying to burrow his head on the top of yours. It's a reminder that maybe... you should be sleeping, too, rather than thinking of such things.
It's quiet again. Though, inside your mind, it's far from peaceful.
You snuggle your face into his chest, not minding the way your tears soak into his shirt. Before it's taken from you, you want to stay like this.
Before you eventually leave him, just like everybody else, you cling to him like your life depends on it.
And as you drift off to sleep, you feel it.
It's warm again.
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So I've been thinking lately about how Mithrun is Kabru's dark mirror (more on that another time- it needs its own post), and I thought it interesting that one of their parallels is that they were both cared for by Milsiril, but in opposite directions. She took Kabru in as her foster after he was orphaned and tried to convince him not to become an adventurer. On the flip side, she helped rehabilitate Mithrun specifically so that he could rejoin the Canaries.
And I kept wondering: why?
For Kabru, obviously she loves him a whole lot- despite any other shortcomings in their relationship, I do believe that.
So I get why she tries to convince him not to go dungeoning, and, failing that, at least prepares him as thoroughly as she can.
But why help Mithrun? She used to hate Mithrun, but after realizing what a secretly twisted person he was, she actually thought of him more positively (oh, Milsiril). So it wasn't as if she held the kind of grudge that might motivate her to make his already-depleted life even more miserable by sending him back to the dungeons. And it wasn't that she felt bad for him either, since she didn't visit Mithrun for the first ~20 years of his recovery.
The Adventurer's Bible says that Utaya was the impetus for Mithrun returning to the Canaries, but Milsiril is the one who made the trip to see him and tell him about it.
Why would Milsiril work so hard to get her old coworker back into fighting fit? Why encourage him to return to such a dangerous lifestyle, when she was the one who chose not to mercy-kill him?
That last panel is such a crazy thing to hint at and then never elaborate on. Without it we could have just thought that Milsiril wanted the Canaries' work to continue without her, even if it seemed out of character. I think some people even assume she's just a natural caretaker as a foster mom and handwave it to include nursing Mithrun too. What could Milsiril's suspicious motives be? What does she gain from Mithrun joining the Canaries that isn't an altruistic desire to see dungeons safely sealed? Feeling a sense of responsibility for the work she left behind isn't an ulterior motive.
My theory is: Milsiril, knowing that Mithrun was empty save for the burning desire to face the demon again, wound him up like a clockwork doll and pointed him back at the dungeons.
Hoping that he'd eliminate the biggest threat to Kabru's life, before it was too late for him.
Milsiril the puppetmaster.
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Her kisses were all-consuming and he felt his heart surrendering to her with every gentle nip, losing himself in the feeling of her. Her soft body pressing tightly against him, her breathy moans, the soft hair at the nape of her neck, her taste.
When Eloise finally pulled away from him, breathing heavily as their foreheads pressed together and their eyes locked, Sebastian was dazed and content and...happy. Merlin, he was so happy. Her cheeks were bright pink, and her lips were swollen and red and smiling up at him. His breath caught in his throat - he didn't think he had ever seen anything so beautiful as Eloise in that moment. Sebastian knew that he was grinning like a fool but he didn't care.
Happiness was bubbling up in his body and he was leaning down to kiss her again because it would never be enough and -
She started coughing.
Eloise abruptly pulled away from him, covering her mouth with her sleeve as she doubled over. A terrible, horrible, familiar wracking cough that Sebastian never thought he would hear again.
When she pulled her sleeve away from her mouth, there were little flecks of blood.
They both looked at each other in horror.
"Eloise..." he started, his voice cracking. The balloon of happiness that had filled him burst and he felt himself crashing back to the grim reality that had been his life for too long. Arms hanging limply at his sides. When his voice came out again, it was a whisper. He could barely choke the words out.
"...what did you do?"
their first kiss😇😇😇
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Thinking about Peter's absolute cry of anguish after the final boss battle when he finds Harry unresponsive. Thinking about how all he can say is I'm sorry. Thinking about the fact that in Peter's head it was him at May's side sobbing I'm sorry. Thinking about how "with great power comes great responsibility" can never be separated from the guilt Peter feels. Thinking about how that guilt extends to May. How it extends to Ben. How it cripples Peter so much that he tells Miles that he can't do this again. Thinking about Peter's voice as he'd begged Harry to fight - pleaded with him to not make him do this. Thinking about how when consumed with the symbiote Peter had screeched out I'm the hero, I don't get saved! Thinking about how that's not just pride, how that's not just responsibility, how it's guilt. How it's always been Peter and the weight of the world, the life of his loved ones, and their blood on his hands. And now it's Harry's and Peter just breaks. Always the hero, he's done the right thing, but this time it's the last straw. His best friend. The last sacrifice Peter Parker can take...
...and it's then... that Miles saves him.
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