#sorry i just HAD to ramble about this. i’m going a bit. insane thinking about it

[galadrielspeaks]

There’s something about Legolas and Gimli considering themselves a seperate entity inside of The Fellowship that makes my brain go a little insane. It’s the way Gimli says “And what about your companions?” to Merry but then follows that with “What about Legolas and me?” right after. They are seperate from this group they are in. They are of The Fellowship but are almost Outliers in it. They have a relationship that has become so different from the camaraderie the others share that they have begun to refer to themselves as a unit separate from everyone. They go off and disappear together. They whisper and chat in the background. Legolas bears arms with Aragorn and has ran miles to save Merry and Pippin but it is Gimli he confides in, it is to Gimli he says he finds comfort in his presence. And it is to Legolas Gimli expresses his desire to show the most one of the most beautiful sights he’s seen, the glittering caves, the trust he has to show this elf a place of beauty, and to be fully convinced that he will see the beauty in it too. Two creatures so different yet so alike drawn together by fate and war and oh how they toe the line between tradegy and history and the heavy burden of their familial animosities and love and happiness and joy like figure skaters toeing the line between ice and cold dark water. Their dance is beautiful and poetic and private and separate. Separate from the plot and from The Fellowship and from even our eyes but constantly referred to in little moments like these… “What about Legolas and me?”. “What about Legolas and me?”. “What about Legolas and me?”. Yes Gimli. What about Legolas and you?

[lanadelreyscokewhor3]

IF YOU’RE TOO SHY (LET ME KNOW)- S.G ROGERS

Pairing:  Uni! Nerd! Steve x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

Summary: you’re the new girl at school, and the more steve rogers sees you, the more his crush grows. after a few weeks of texting, a date is set. but he doesn't hook up on the first date, because that's not being a gentleman. right? 

Warnings: SMUT, pure filth, praise kink, slight degradation, daddy kink, spanking, cum play, dry humping, dirty talk, manhandling, petnames, swearing, biting/ marking, size kink, but lots of fluff :))

“maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes, im not playing with you baby- i think that you should give it a go. she said, maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes... i wanna see and stop thinking if youre too shy, then let me know”- if youre too shy (let me know), the 1975

“She's so beautiful Buck. You’ll just love her.” Steve insisted, baby blues all wide and excited, cheeks tinted pink as he ran his hands through his blonde locks, tugging on the strands a bit harder than he’d normally- the butterflies plaguing his muscles. 

He had never felt so in love, and he hadn't even talked to you in person yet. It was a sickness, the love drunk that had occurred, no amount of Advil or water the cure to the hangover. 

Bucky was sick of him. He was sure of it. 

He had blabbed about you for weeks now, seeming to go in a daze as he’d ramble on. Mhmm. Well, just talk to her after class Steve! 

He’d just shake his head. He couldn't just do that! How could he? You were so alluring, a siren calling him out from sea. Steve just couldn't… the courage he had always had seeming to come to a halt. It was abrupt, a deer in headlights as he watched you walk into the lecture hall. 

The new girl. Full of spunk and energy, a bright smile on your face as you looked around the room, meeting his eye. He offered you a small smile, a little wave before you found your place near the front. 

You matched his energy well. So well, he was scared you weren't even real. Her name is Y/N. You want her number or something? His friend Natasha had asked him earlier that month, nudging his shoulder to gather his attention again. Sorry. Yes, please. He was too busy daydreaming about you again, gaze drifting off to the endless rows of books in the old library. 

Steve had been anxious to send the text, his endless pacing back and forth enough to drive Bucky straight up the wall. He had never seen the man so nervous. Especially over a girl. 

Should I do it? What do I say? Is this weird? Shut the fuck up already and send something Rogers you're driving me insane. He had replied, smacking a pillow over his head to tune Steve out. He gathered his wits about him, taking a deep breath before he hit send.

 hey, it’s steve, from tuesdays class. not sure if you remember me, but i’m the blonde who waved lol. i got your number from a friend, hope thats okay:) 

There. He had done it! Now was the waiting. But it didn’t last long, as his phone buzzed in his pocket only a few minutes later. 

hey you! yes yes, i remember. i’m Y/N <3 

I know, he wanted to say. Instead, he acted dumb. Dumb and sweet was the way to your heart he found out later, all the sweet messages and daily photos of each other's day blossomed into something more than just classmates. 

But he still hadn't talked to you in person yet. And he knew you were too shy to say anything first- so it was just a waiting game. Finally, all these days later- he had asked you on a date. 

Nothing major. Nothing fancy. Just coffee, and a walk around the villa. Simple and fun, Bucky had reassured, thankful his best friend had finally made the move. He was blind if he thought you weren't into him. Blind and stupid. 

Bucky walked with him now, bundling his jacket tighter around himself as the slight breeze ruffled his hair. It was a cool evening, but not freezing- a perfect happy medium for the season. 

“I’m sure she is. Since you never seem to shut up about her.” Bucky teased, resulting in a smack across the arm from Steve. 

“I’m serious man. I’m just so anxious about this. What if she actually like.. hates me or something?”

 “Impossible. And if anything goes wrong, I’m just three blocks away.” Bucky shrugged, as Steve’s phone buzzed.

five mins away :)

“She’s almost here.” he sighed, starting to fidget with his rings as Bucky dropped him off at the cafe's doors. He had never felt this tense before a date, which he knew meant he really, really liked you. The countless times he had stalked your social media and hours of sleep he lost due to waiting to hear back from you had proved that. 

So what could possibly go wrong? 

 “Well get a table, talk about the weather- and it’ll be all good from there.”

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“And so I told him no, because like what? That's not just something you do at a gas station?” you laughed, making Steve nearly choke on his coffee. You were so happy to be sitting with the man you had been swooning over for weeks now, heart fluttering the second the two of you locked eyes in the lecture hall. 

He was dreamy, gush-worthy standards. And now here he was, so many days later- sitting in front of you with a cup of coffee in hand. You had examined his choice of drink very carefully, knowing that could reflect on many things. Just as many other little things did, like if he slept with socks on or if he only picked the m&ms out of trail mix. 

Steve had a safe, solid choice- two creams and one sugar. Dark roast. You knew he was a good one.

 “I’m sure. Jesus people are crazy.” he snorted, swirling the little wooden stir stick around in his coffee as he admired you. You felt yourself start to fold in on itself the longer he gazed at you, stare so deep and meaningful you were scared you'd start giggling and kicking your feet right there. 

You wouldn't be surprised if you did. Steve had that effect on you, always making you swoon from across the class, each text he sent making you smile. He had a heart next to his contact name, for god's sake. But there was no way in hell you'd tell him that. At least not on the first date. 

You weren't even sure if he liked you back- as sometimes flirting flew straight over your head. You were funny like that sometimes. But tonight had seemed to have gone well, at least in your mind. The two of you had been talking for hours, getting little pastries and new drinks to try throughout the evening. It was dark out now, the moon high in the sky, shining down on the little vintage cafe with its dozens of tealights and oil lamps. 

You sipped your drink, still hot on the tongue as you met his stare. He smiled. That goddamn, cheeky smile that kept you up at night. One that screamed danger, and mischief and everything you wanted. A thrill, an adventure. Something fun- something your small town refused to offer. 

“Whatta thinking about?” he asked, breaking the easy silence that lingered over the pair of you like a veil. Like you were in your own little bubble, where no one could touch you. 

“Just you. And how you're different.” His eyebrow quirked up. “How so?” 

“ Well you haven't asked me to take off my clothes. Or made any sexual comments. Or said ‘maybe I would like you better if you took off your clothes’, so I like you.” you said, taking another sip of coffee to let those words digest. 

He just smiled, shaking his head slowly. “Well of course not. I mean, not that you aren't beautiful and so fucking hot and I mean-” 

You laughed. 

“Okay, you know what I’m getting at. But what I’m trying to say is that I’m a gentleman. And I would never ask that of you if you didn’t want it.” A sly grin tugged at your lips, legs crossing under the table as you squeezed your thighs together. 

“What if I want it?”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I don’t normally do this on the first date ya know.” Steve murmured against your neck, breath hot as he kissed down your neck, grip tightening around your thighs as he hosted you up against the wall. 

It had been a few hours later, some odd hour in the night after the coffee and the little walk down the side streets, popping into old bookstores and antique stores where he watched you marvel over little things like signed paperbacks and old purses his great grandma probably had. He was infatuated with you. 

Somehow his hand had ended up intertwined with yours, your arm bumping his as he walked you back to your place. Do you… maybe wanna come inside? You had asked, little doe eyes wide, voice as soft as silk. How could he say no? He never said no to you. 

Now here he was, dry humping you in your entranceway, barely two steps in the door before your lips had met his. You were drawn to him like a magnet, falling under his spell as your neck rolled back against the plaster, letting him have more access.

 “No? Wanting to keep up your gentlemanly acts? Promise I won't tell.” you teased, breath hitching as he traced your collarbone with his nose, finally sinking his teeth into the soft skin. Your hips rolled against his lower abs, desperate for any friction you could get. 

“Pinky promise?” he breathed, causing a moan to escape your parted lips as he squeezed your skin, licking the teeth marks as he dipped his mouth even lower. 

“P-pinky.” you stuttered. It was getting harder and harder to think clearly, movements blurring as if he was switching the lenses on your eyesight. Hands were on your ass, in his hair, tugging on those beautiful long strands to then wrap around his neck. 

Teeth clashed with tongue as he devoured you whole, and you felt as if you were on a carnival ride as he spun you over to your bedroom. You prayed he didn’t notice the piles of old, dog-eared books that were piled against the wall so high they were on the verge of toppling over, or your cluttered nightstand with so many candles and jewelry it had no other purpose. Steve didn’t seem to mind the mess, solely focused on how your breath sounded when it was uneven and when you were flustered, the giggles that emerged when he tossed you down on the sheets like a sack of potatoes. 

You liked being manhandled by him. You liked how he had wasted no time throwing you up against the wall, taking charge in such a respectful, yet sexy manner. This had only happened in your late-night thoughts, little flirty texts that you had sent when you got the courage past eleven pm nothing compared to this. You had always wondered what he would be like in bed, ever since you stepped foot in that classroom. It didn’t disappoint in the slightest. 

“God you're so- so fucking hot. You know how many times I've thought of this? Hearing your little noises when I make you feel good?” You whined. He groaned, tugging off your pants. 

“Yeah. Yeah, fuck like that baby. You’re such a good girl for me aren't you?” 

There it was. That was the money shot. Something in your demeanor shifted, eyes wide as you nodded frantically. Yes. Yes, you were and he knew it. “Please Steve just-”

 “Just what angel face? Hmm? Fuck you?” he antagonized you, as if he was talking to a mere child.

“Please. Please fuck.” The words had barely left your lips before he grabbed your hips, flipping you over so you were presented to him, ass in the air, face deep in the sheets. Your shirt had yet to come off, but you had a feeling it was going to meet your bottoms on the hardwood, the two of you too desperate to both with the flimsy article of clothing.

 “God you're so easy to manhandle. You like that huh? Being tossed around like a slut?” 

“Mhmmm god yes..” you moaned, letting out a quick yelp as he smacked your ass lightly, your hands curling into tight little fists as you gripped the blankets. You could feel the breath get trapped in your lungs as he kissed the skin he had just slightly marked, lips like a cooling serum to the heat in your belly. 

“Breathe angel. Just breathe for me yea? You tell me when it’s too much.” 

“What, don’t wanna get too freaky on the first date?” you chriped out, making him laugh. 

“Something like that.”

 “I like this, ya know. I like you. And I don’t feel shy around you, like I have with other people. You’re good to me, Steve.” 

He smiled softly, chest blooming with warmth at your reassuring words. He was so happy. All he wanted was for you to  feel comfortable around him, to feel wanted. Because he wanted you. Oh, gods did he ever want you.

 “Good.” was the only warning he gave you before he hit home, sliding into you gently. “Fuck. Fuck fuck you feel so fucking good.” was all he could moan, head tossed back in pleasure as you squeezed around him, adjusting to his size. 

He was big. Like extremely big.  All you could do was whimper, praying to every god that was out there that you could take him. 

“S’big Stevie. M’all full.” you squeaked, a rough growl escaping from his lips at your words. “Yea baby? I’m just so much bigger than you- aren't I? Filling you up to the brim, like a little hole for me to use.” 

He brushed your g-spot as his hips began to snap, cock drilling into you so fast you swore you saw stars. All you could do was hold onto the bed, allowing your body to fall limp, going slack as he used you. 

“You're so good. Such a good, good princess.” he praised, large hand pressed down slightly on your back as you arched, moans muffling into the sheets. You prayed your neighbors weren't home, or else you knew you'd get the dirty looks and silent treatment tomorrow.

 Totally worth it, you thought with a dazed-out smile, listening to the sounds of the bed drilling against the wall, springs squeaking in time with his groans, the squelching wet noises of your juices coating his cock. 

“M’not gonna last.” you whimpered softly. “S’okay baby. Be a good girl and cum f’me okay poppet?” 

You nodded, rumpled sheets bunching tighter between your closed fists as you squeezed him so tight it was suffocating, your clit pulsing a steady rhythm as you came with a cry. 

“Atta girl. Milking me dry baby, you really needed that didn’t you?”

 “Y-yea Daddy..” 

Heat rose to your cheeks. The name had rolled off your tongue before you could stop it, the filter that normally was placed over your words now gone in your dazed-out state. What if you fucked up? That wasn't supposed to come out. 

“F-fuck. Daddy huh? I should've known you’d like that shit. Not as much as me though baby.” he growled, grabbing your hips harshly, his thrusts becoming harder, quicker, more erratic. 

“Daddy’s making you feel so good hm?”

 “So good Daddy. Want you to fuck me alll the timee.” you giggled softly, whining as you felt him slip out of your abused hole.

 “Wha-”

 “Shhh poppet. I didn’t bring any condoms with me and we aren't risking it on the first date.” he shushed you, spilling his seed onto your lower back, stilling your wiggling movements as you begged. 

You felt the warm, white liquid ooze against your skin, dribbling down your ass as you wiggled it. The pad of Steve's fingers made you jump, the soft, gentle touch adding even more to the post-orgasm haze.

 “I-I have some in my drawer for next time.” He trailed his fingers against the delicate skin, smearing the cum down your thighs, giving you a quick little smack. 

“Good to know sweetheart.” he smiled, watching as you slowly turned to face him, doe eyes wide, lips parted slightly.

 “So when’s the next date?”

[greatdenimbeast]

Hey there, I was wondering if Tails has a presence in the Diamond Castle AU?

Sorry if it this same or anything similar been asked before. I might be an insane dumb enjoyer of all that is the two tailed fox but, I totally get if they’re very minor, a character of antiquity of the Au or, just not in it.

My apologies for the ramble, I just wanted to get across that I’m not trying to force the character into your story.

yes tails is in the au!! He’s one of sonic’s attendants and is also a cloud nymph

his tails are literal clouds and they can growl to whatever size he wants and he usually just lays on them when he’s busy being a cloud!!

i honestly had a. Bit of trouble with coming up with what tails is up to fztdyxjyfi

cuz like i def wanted him to be Sonic’s attendant, 100%, but the problem with that is i just don’t picture Sonic ever getting an attendant the same way Shadow got his. he got turned into god against his will so he views this as kind of burden and curse so he wouldn’t wish that upon anyone

so i had to think about ways to go about this without turning Tails into a god when it hit me that i could just make Tails a nymph, cuz nymphs have longer lifespans than mortals!

he spied sonic, post being turned into a god, dancing in the gardens of the castle and decided to follow him around in cloud form while Sonic avoided his responsibilities to run, laze around and help a few mortals.

Tails thought this guy was the coolest guy ever but, since Sonic was a new guy, Tails didn’t know exactly who he was, he just guessed he was an attendant of one of the muses or smthn

eventually sonic noticed him and snuck up on tails to shock him out his cloud form

they got to talking and chilling and eventually (probably due to mephiles nagging him to get a move on and get attendants already) Sonic asked Tails if he’d wanna be his attendant and Tails accepted!

[ejlovesvi]

Hi

Can I please request a fic with Taylor swift x fem!reader where they are in a PR relationship and reader is a really big actress and in her late twenties and she’s an introvert and likes to build legos and play Mario cart and she’s a big softie and incredibly sweet but the catch is Taylor and her friends don’t really like the reader whenever she has to hangout with them they always ignore her and make her feel uncomfortable and unwanted between them and one day she goes live on instagram or TikTok and she’s building a Lego with her fans it’s something that she does a lot and the Lego just happens to be a lovers house one to support Taylor and the fans just go crazy meanwhile Taylor is with her friends and they are talking about how the reader is annoying and weird and always quiet and then one of them mentions how the reader is live now so they get on to spy on her and they realize how nice and cute the reader is and someone in the comments asks the reader about Taylor and she starts gushing about Taylor with a love struck smile on her face because she secretly likes Taylor and wants to pursue her for real and then later on they start treating the reader better and they go on real dates together and it’s just fluff. Sorry this is long you don’t have to write it if you don’t want to I just had this idea for a long time and wanted to share it but if you do end up writing it can you make it with as much details and events as possible. Thank you so much

note: this is such a cute idea!! it’s fairly different because i changed it up a bit to make it easier to write. thanks for the request! not proofread.

IT’S LIKE I’M WASTING YOUR HONOR

pairing: taylor swift x fem!reader

warnings: taylor coming to her senses, sad but amazing folklore song

masterlist

to say you were in love with your PR girlfriend was an understatement. you knew it the from the moment you had met her and heard her laugh at a corny joke that slipped from your nervous lips. taylor had been incredibly kind to you and had seemed to notice things others had never thought to mention to you. you were doomed.

you two began a PR relationship for many reasons, the number one being that it would help taylor’s prideful content reach further to others who were part of the lgbtq+ community.

now obviously you knew taylor wasn’t as in love with you as you were her; or if she even really loved you at all. but you didn’t let that stop you. after all, you two were supposed to act madly in love anyway.

so now you sit here on live building a lover house lego set that the company sent you two. taylor left four hours ago to go spend some time with her model friends and you had simply kissed her on the cheek and wished her a good time as she left.

your eyes scan the comments that speed past and you catch onto one of them in particular. “does taylor show you her song writing process?” you read aloud the comment.

you think about the question for a moment, trying to figure out what you can reveal on live without getting a call from tree. you weigh your options and decide fuck it. with a smile you answer, “sometimes she does. it’s mostly after we’ve had a few glasses of wine that she sings to me. half of the songs i hear on guitar or piano end up scrapped in her notebook.”

you look down at your lego set and continue placing pieces together, all while continuing to ramble on. you try to fight the smile spreading across your face but the intense emotions at the thought of the blonde invade your mind like a thick smoke.

“it’s sometimes sad to hear songs get scrapped because they end up being my favorites.” you admit. “she’s just so talented and i love being able to see her grow as a person.”

a week later

it’s been a week since you gushed about taylor on instagram live. the repercussions ended in the internet going insane over your guy’s relationship and calling you two perfect for each other.

taylor had been acting different lately and the thought of her being upset over the live made you feel worried. what if she completely disliked that?

but as you sit in front of the brick fireplace with two wine glasses in front of you and taylor’s cats curled into the side of your criss-crossed legs — you let all those worries slip away.

taylor sits beside you, her body shifted towards you slightly. her fingers pluck at each string as she adjusts them to perfect tuning. the only light in the room elicits from the crackling fire contained in the fire place.

taylor looks up from her guitar to smile shyly at you, “this is a song i wrote last night, so it’s not perfect but i hope you like it.”

you tilt your head as you pet the cats beside you. taylor looks back down at her guitar and clears her throat, plucking at the soft chords before softly singing. “our coming of age has come and gone. suddenly the summer, it’s clear. i never had the courage of my convictions. as long as danger is near.”

you listen intently with a soft smile, watching her fingers skillfully move across the wood guitar with perfected ease.

“i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm. if your cascade ocean wave blues come. all these people think love’s for show, but i would die for you in secret.” she sings out, looking you right in the eyes for those specific lyrics.

she suddenly stops playing and swallows, looking at you with anticipation. you breath in as you take in the moment, analyzing the lyrics she just sang to you.

“those last lyrics are… something.” you breath out with a small nervous laugh.

taylor lets out a small chuckle and softens her gaze on you, “it’s true though. i’ve thought about my feelings for the past week.” she starts. “about my feelings for you specifically. this whole thing started for the public but getting to know you and experiencing your kindness has made me fall in love.”

your eyebrows raise slightly but you stay silent, letting her continue. “i want to be able to love you behind the cameras and public. and a part of me thinks you want that too.” she finishes.

with a smile gracing your lips you giggle, “taylor i’ve been in love with you since we started this stupid PR relationship.”

taylor lets out a breath of relief and sets the guitar aside. “well, that’s great news. if you rejected me i probably would’ve shit my pants.”

you bark out a laugh and lean forward, your face just inches away from hers. you glance from her pale blue eyes to her soft plump lips that you’ve only had the pleasure of kissing twice in front of paparazzi. “well, are you gonna kiss me for real or should i call some paparazzi to come get content?” you joke.

taylor rolls her eyes, “shut up you dork.”

and with that she kisses you softly but passionately. you hum and you lean in further, resting your hands on her thighs. she grabs onto the back of your head to get better control.

before you can protest she lifts you to straddle her as she lays back against the soft rug. she pulls away from the kiss and looks up at you with complete and utter love in her eyes.

you bite your lip to contain obnoxious giggles and glance over at the curled up cats. you glance back to taylor who looks over feature on your face. “let’s get to bed, tay.”

she nods and lets you drag her to bed where you fall asleep in each others arms for the first time in your 1 year relationship.

[wigglywormy]

I’m currently Very drunk

And all I can think about is dkbk, and deku being So strong that even without their quirks, he can so easily pin bk down. and I cannot get it out of my head. Have yall SEEN how swole deku has gotten??? It’s insane and I’m going feral over it

Deku just teasing bakugou with the gentlest of touches, his hands rough but so careful, and bakugous just blushing so HARD and squirming and cursing but deku is just smiling so sweetly at him. Bakugou’s palms sparking and deku just goes “no quirks, remember?” And bakugou growls at him, and deku’s still a little but shorter but he’s a fuckin brick house, and bakugou cannot move an inch no matter how hard he tries

And like. Bakugou hates that he loves it. He hates that this stupid nerd can over power him so easily, and he’s actually fighting back really fuckin hard, there’s bruises and bloody lips and it’s messy and painful but then deku starts tickling him, and bakugou siezes up, and he chokes out this cute little giggle that deku becomes OBSESSED WITH, and god sorry I’ve had a whole bottle of vodka and I’m just word vomiting but i need bakugou flushed, red, sweaty and crying a lil bit, and deku just being so nice but so MEAN, and bakugou is trying to fight it so hard that it just makes deku even meaner, and i want bakugou to be so fuckin stubborn that he begs for it to stop but when deku asks him “are you sure?” Bakugou just groans in frustration and doesn’t reply so deku keeps going.

I should stop rambling this is getting insane LOL can y’all tell I’ve been in a fuckin ler mood lately I NEED TO BE DEKU SO I CAN FUCK BAKUGOU UP. HE NEEDS IT I PROMISE LOL.

[milfjuulpod]

Guidance, Ch II

lunch, coffee, perfume, emails

read chapter one here

A/N: heyyyy sorry for my absence my writers block is insane rn….anyways i hope y’all enjoy the second chapter, lmk how u feel abt it and what u wanna see! also- i have posted both of these chapters on my ao3, same username. ok here u go bye

-

The office you resided in was dark, a soft light illuminating from the computer screen, gentle music playing from its speakers. The desk was littered with papers, folders, notes, pens—it was quite the mess. Ava had dropped off a stack of reports on students, those who were falling a bit behind and needed a bit of help. So naturally, you quickly got to work. You knew when you arrived at Abbott that you wanted to help as much as possible, and there was no point in waiting to get started. Sure, it was only the first couple of weeks, but you figured it was best to get a head start on things.

Thus, you launched yourself into work. Most of these students had struggled all last year, and you decided to take some preventative measures to help both the students and teachers. Organizing the files into different piles, you heard a knock at the door. You invited whoever it was inside, and were met with a delightful surprise. “Hi Melissa, how can I help you?” You asked, taking your eyes off of the mess sprawled in front of you. “I think you might be the one who needs help, kid, what's all of this?” She asked, almost laughing at how disheveled your workspace was.

You sighed and leaned back in your chair, as Melissa took place in the seat across from you. “Ava dropped off some files on students, so I’m trying to make plans for them for this year.” She looked at you with such care at that moment, before returning to her usual demeanor. “Well don’t run yourself into the ground before we get halfway into the school year, I have a feeling your desk is gonna look like this a lot,” she teased. You replied with a quiet yes, and went to turn the music down before Melissa stopped you.

“Hold on, is that Italian?” She asked, trying to hide the smile on her face. Glancing at the screen, you realized what was playing. “Yeah, it's called Salvatore, by Lana Del Rey, I listen to this song a lot.” Her smile grew at your statement, and took mental note of it. At this point, you wondered why Melissa came in here, she still has yet to say. As if she read your mind, she spoke again. “I came to bring this to you, I had some extra and wasn’t sure if you’d eaten already, and I’m gonna guess you haven’t,” She gestured to the desk once again before setting down a tupperware in front of you. As she stood up to take her leave, she said, “I hope you like this Italian food as much as you like listening to the language,” and walked out of your office. You felt nearly as warm as the food sitting in front of you. 

       

When five p.m. rolled around, you figured it was about time to call it. Many plans were made for students, the rest would have to wait until tomorrow. You packed up your things to leave, when you remembered the tupperware sitting on the edge of your desk. Melissa’s tupperware. Hoping she didn’t leave, you grabbed it and rushed to her door. Unfortunately, her lights were off and the door was locked. Looks like that will have to wait until tomorrow too. 

      On the way out, you were stopped by Janine. “Hey! how’s the first week going?” She asked, excited as ever. You told her about the work you had done, and what was still left to do. “I just gotta take this home and wash it now, it’s Melissa’s.” Janine’s eyes widened at that statement, making you feel like maybe you said something you shouldn’t have. “Oh, Melissa gave you that? It took weeks before she even remembered my name, let alone give me something,” She shuffled on her feet nervously. “I hope she’s not trying to butter you up for anything,” Janine’s rambling was cut off by Gregory pulling up to the two of you. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” 

      Walking to your own car, you wondered what Janine could’ve meant by that. Melissa had been nothing but kind to you, what could possibly make her say that? Sure, the older teacher had a bit of a tough exterior, but she already took a liking to you. Janine’s words echoed in your head, and the anxiety grew as you thought about what Melissa really wanted from you. 

        

The following morning, you walked to Melissa’s classroom with her clean tupperware and coffees in hand. One for you, one for her. You were just going to return her dish, give her the coffee, and leave. Nothing more, nothing less. The crush on her was a bit ridiculous at this point, you barely knew the redhead, and yet you wanted nothing more but to learn everything. Knocking lightly on the door, you let yourself in. “Good morning, you left yesterday before I could give this back to you. Oh, and here’s a coffee as a thank you.” You greeted Melissa with excitement. Except she didn’t match the energy, at all. She didn’t even look up from her computer as she quietly said “thank you.” 

        Okay, maybe you were planning on staying a bit longer and chatting with her before getting to your own work, and you felt a bit defeated. Silently, you left the classroom and walked to your own office, wondering if Janine was right about Melissa. It was hard to focus on work feeling this way, and slowly, but surely, it was lunch time. Opting to work through it, you didn’t visit the break room with everyone else. You missed Melissa anxiously looking for you in the break room. But her best friend didn’t. 

        

“Why do you keep looking at the door? Are you waiting for someone?” Barbara asked the woman next to her. Melissa glanced at the cameras, before deciding to lie. “Uh, no. Just…paying attention. You can never be too careful.” Barbara knew what that tone meant, but decided to let it go. Playing the events from this morning back in her mind, Melissa felt a little bad for ignoring you, and this made her upset. Why did she care? 

      “You’re shaking the whole table bouncing your leg, Melissa. What’s going on?” Barbara questioned. Melissa just sighed in response and leaned back in her chair. With a stern look from her friend, she started talking. “I don’t know. That new guidance counselor came by this morning to return my tupperware and I was busy so I didn’t really say much. And then she just left, but what was I supposed to do? She got me coffee too, I didn’t even realize until she was gone. It was good though, I haven’t been to the place she got it from. Maybe I should ask her where it is? Or…I don’t know…” The redhead trailed off. Across from her, Barbara tried her best to hide the shock from hearing her friend’s words. 

       “Why are you overthinking this? I’m sure she’s fine and wouldn’t mind you inquiring about the coffee. Go, before the break is over and I have to hear about this all over again tomorrow morning.” Barbara laughed as Melissa rolled her eyes, but she stood up to go searching. 

     

  You, on the other hand, decided to pick up a sandwich from the corner store across the street for lunch. Upon returning, you nearly jumped out of your skin when you opened the office door. “Melissa! Oh good god you scared me, what are you doing in here?” You whisper-screamed, adrenaline still rushing for a moment. “I had a question for ya,” she replied, so casually. As if it was normal for her to sneak into your office while you were out. Come to think of it, you remember locking the door, how exactly did she get in?

       “A question that couldn’t wait for me to get back from the store? And that’s my chair, scooch it,” You set the sandwich on the desk and leaned against it as well waiting for Melissa to move out of your seat. She didn’t. “Sorry for being so short with you this morning, kid. I was a little overwhelmed with making plans for both of my classes, but thank you for the coffee, that was sweet.” She smiled at you sincerely, and if this is what you get for buying her a coffee, it might become a daily thing. “Where did you get it by the way?”

        “Oh! It’s this new place that just opened up by my apartment, Opus. I’ve been a few times already, might become a regular there,” you told her. “Yeah, that makes two of us.” Melissa stood up to leave, and without thinking, you grabbed her hand to stop her. “Wait! Did you say both of your classes? You have two?” 

        Melissa was visibly surprised at your physical touch, but she didn’t pull back either. “Yeah, a combined second and third grade class. Gonna be a great year,” She informed you, rolling her eyes in the process. You let go of her hand finally and took in what she said. “If you need any help, with lesson plans or grading, you know where to find me.” 

        The teacher took your hand again and gently squeezed it before letting go, “Thanks hon, I’ll keep that in mind. And next time you need lunch, you know where to find me,” She said with a smirk before walking out the door. Sitting down, you took in the smell of her perfume that coated the area for a few moments more. The sweet scent was quickly forgotten when you looked at your computer screen. Many emails, forgotten assignments, but what caught your eye immediately, was a new email, from Melissa of all people. 

       Forgot to ask while I was still with you, but would you want to meet this afternoon or later this week to help me with some planning? Maybe we can enjoy a coffee inside the shop this time. Let me know. 

-Melissa Schemmenti

[crimeboys]

It wasnt mourninglamby :( but honestly mourninglamby doesnt know what they’re talking about so if they have the same opinions it doesnt even matter what they think tbh……. I just wish I was better at showing them evidence you know? I keep talking about the yes very selfish love cwilbur has for ctommy was still love for ctommy and there aint no way the mental turmoil cdream caused ctommy is worse than cwilbur being mentally ill and a bad role model… they called cwilbur a groomer ffs???? I wish I could tell them that’s wrong without losing again due to my lack of evidence because they can just shut it down by calling my interpretations of crimeboys fanon……. I’m honestly just rambling sorry cyrus

my bad that may have been my own personal demons... although it does make me desolate to know more people share this take. but im not exactly unfamiliar with media illiteracy in this fandom.

but tbh it's like fine you dont have to debate people online about their interpretations of characters i personally love to block and stew (and occasionally lose my cool or swagever) and write private metas bc well im not a super articulate person so i hate posting them online. but yeah listen if you see people making dumbass takes that are wildly insane such as c!wilbur groomed tommy, you never have to like. debate that person bc frankly they've gone to a level of reading into shit that you are probably not going to be able to unravel. write your own meta or complain to your friends. i personally do the second one bc i hate writing. but i can attempt a little bit.

cwilbur is a complicated man who a lot of people like to make simple, be that in a negative or positive way. there are far extremes of both interpretations of the character and they both drive me insane. he is a character who requires a lot of criticism and a lot of compassion, otherwise he gets lost in the extremes of "terrorist monster who wants to hurt everyone" or "big brother who wuvs his little brother and would never do anything to hurt him".

cdream is also a complex character but he has a simple goal. power. whether that power come from land or disc or a teenager all on his own, his goal is to be on top. things take an obvious shift from just being obsessed with power to being obsessed with having power over tommy, which dream has always had to some degree but that's bc he fixated on tommy's "troublemaking" ruining the server in the beginning. exile is where he began to just Enjoy fucking with tommy and lets himself want power over tommy for the sake of having power over tommy, nothing to do with control of the server.

both of them meant to hurt tommy. i dont disagree with the notion that wilbur was abusive toward tommy. i just think there is a very clear difference in the way wilbur treated him vs. the way dream treated him. specifically i think situationally, it is very clear that wilbur was in a godawful place when he started treating tommy and everyone else terribly. i think the notion that his abuse started before pogtopia is bullshit and an incredibly dumb read of the characters. wilbur was not secretly fucking evil during l'manburg. he was an asshole often because wilbur's an asshole (but so is tommy, which people who dont actually like his character but adore the fanon version of it like to ignore), but he didn't create l'manburg just to destroy it. he didn't created l'manburg just to hurt tommy and everyone he loves. he made a home for them and when that home was taken, he had a really fucking bad reaction to it.

there is no question that wilbur during this time period hurt the people he loves. but i also think acting like every single thing he did during this period of time was malicious is fucking strange. there is a very clear, obvious fucking steady decline from the moment eret betrays them in the final control room, to wilbur and tommy being exiled from the home they built together for each other, to wilbur and tommy trying to get their nation back, to wilbur watching schlatt onstage and realizing (thinking) he never can in a way that matters, to wilbur becoming a shaken up bottle of paranoia set to explode the second someone opens it. even the fucking pit, which was shitty and gross and makes me yell at the screen every time i watch it, had a cause and effect. wilbur who genuinely thinks technoblade is on their side and trusts not to kill tubbo, to running back to pogtopia and indignant about techno trying to come back, to realizing this reinforces his paranoia and that he was right all along isn't that amazing tommy he was right they can't trust anyone, to putting tommy and techno in the pit.

this isn't the most indepth bc well like i said i don't write meta. but i think my point is clear that overall, there is a very clear difference between isolating and hurting someone literally for fucking fun vs. being isolated by the country you built and having a paranoid episode that your brother is in the front lines for that irrevocably changes both of you.

i think not liking cwilbur is fair enough, he has done undeniably shit things and hurt a lot of people without really making up for it, but i think refusing to engage with his character outside of the surface level is incredibly annoying, especially when you refuse to do that but include your own personal hcs and pretend they're honest interpretations of what you actually watched instead of separate characters you invented in your head.

dsmp might be a mess and people might think they "did more heavy lifting than the creators" but at the end of the day, they gave us very clear groundwork and tons of content and i don't think any of the lifting we have done is actually all that revolutionary to the characters outside of like. fanart. usually the people who do aren't writing the characters anymore. or maybe it's their first fandom and they don't realize it's very normal to have a bunch of hcs and character reworkings. but that's a little off topic.

anyway i could ramble about all this forever so i'm gonna go before i'm too mean and late to work byeee.

[papayatori]

Don’t Blink! (P3)

LN4 x fém!reader

No warnings

I’m not sure how long I’m going to carry on this series, I guess it depends on how well it does. I’ve got nothing but positives so far, so I hope it stays that way. I also take requests! Feel free to leave me some! (This one is kind of shorter, I’m sorry. Longer one next time!)

My alarm interrupted my peaceful sleeping. I was beyond pissed and could have thrown it across the room had it not simply been doing its God-forsaken job. I decided that, at the ungodly hour of 7am on a Saturday, that I would get up and make breakfast like normal human beings usually do.

How incredibly jealous I was of said human beings.

In about thirty minutes, I had started things in the kitchen. I had my morning cup of Chai and was ready to take on the world; and by the world, I meant the frying pan.

Pancakes were a delicacy that could not be coveted, an art that took decades to master. Pancakes with bacon were even better. Not to mention, keeping my apartment from burning down as an added plus. With that said, I gave all of my attention to the stovetop.

After a long battle with the floury pancake mix and attempting to turn it into a batter(there was now a huge mess to clean up later, yet another reason I have yet to master the art of pancake making), I had finally managed to have a breakfast fit for a king.

Or better yet, a breakfast fit for me.

I had decided to leave the mess to clean up later, I was hungry and it could wait. Though, I was proud of myself and couldn’t help but snap a picture of my breakfast and post it on Twitter.

I ate in a comfortable and relaxing silence. I had earned this after yesterday. Though, I hadn’t really stumbled upon last nights memories until now. Lando and I had texted for a while after I had gone to bed, him insisting that I never answered his ‘question’. At first I was really sure what he meant, but then I had come to the realization that he was asking when our next date was.

Silly me.

I would be lying if the thought of our time yesterday hadn’t sent me into a mess of smiles and butterflies every time I thought of it. Sure, I had always found Lando attractive, but never had I thought anything more than that. Why would I? I hadn’t met him until yesterday.

I’m starting to believe I might be going insane, and I will be blaming Lando for legal purposes.

Ding!

Startled, I looked down at my phone. I usually didn’t get many replies on Twitter, this was new.

And you didn’t invite me? I thought we were friends 💔

At first I was confused as hell, and then I read the name of the person who had replied.

Lando Norris

I shook my head with a small smile spreading across my lips. I wasn’t sure how he managed to find my social media, or why for that matter, but I suppose it wouldn’t have been too hard. I decided to reply anyway.

Maybe next time Mr. Norris

…

…

…

My laptop open, camera plugged in, I knew for a fact that these were going to be the easiest photos I’d ever edited. I plopped myself back down on my couch, satisfied with my breakfast and cleanup afterwards, one hindered percent determined to be productive today.

Woo hoo!

Okay, maybe that was a bit of sarcasm. Though, i wasn’t lying about these photos being easy to edit. The hard part, however, would be keeping my eyes off of Lando’s face for long enough to edit his photos.

Who knew such a thing could be so insanely difficult.

It was honestly frustrating trying to keep my mind away from him. I’ve dated my fair share of men, and I don’t think I’ve ever had this much trouble keeping my thoughts in check. This also begs the question, what exactly were we now? I’m not sure if our date had any romantic implications in the first place. He could have just been being friendly. I would be a fool to mention it.

A knock on the door pulled me completely out of my rambling thoughts, and a part of me was thankful. I got up to open it, curious as who the hell could be knock in on my door at 9am.

The door revealed the most beautiful pair of blue-green eyes I had ever seen.

“I brought you things!” Lando said excitedly, not waiting on me to let him in a pushing past me to the table in my kitchen.

“Good morning to you too, Lando.” I chuckled, following closely after him.

“So, first things first. I’m mad at you.” Lando pushed his bottom lip out, giving me a pout I couldn’t help but giggle at.

“And why would that be, Mr. Norris?” He glared at me.

“You know exactly why I’m mad at you.” He clicked his tongue. “Fortunately for you, that isn’t why I am here.” I tilted my head, urging him to continue.

Lando pulled some bits of paper out of the sack I hadn’t realized he was holding. His eyes were too much of a distraction for me to even notice. He smiled then, holding my gaze for a little longer than I had anticipated before finally breaking the silence once more.

“Sign these.” He slid the papers towards me.

“What am I signing exactly?” I asked. As he handed me the pen, our fingertips touched for a moment, sending electricity through my body. My face heated up and I reverted my eyes back down to the paper to keep from falling into his.

“It’s a contract. I worked my magic with Zak, you’re welcome, and he’s written up an official agreement for you to work for McLaren.”

“You’re lying.” I gasped, reading through the paper that said just about the exact same thing Lando had just described to me. “I thought you were joking.”

“I wouldn’t get your hopes up like that, not even after you had pancakes without me.” I rolled my eyes at his smirking figure. I ignored his comment.

“I just can’t believe it’s actually happening. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted something like this.” This time I looked up at Lando with the biggest, genuine smile he’s ever seen me wear, and instead of smirking, he actually gave me a genuine smile back.

“I’m sure you can believe this then.” He reached further down into the back, balling it up afterwards. “Paddock pass for Bahrain. You won’t need to worry about the flight or the hotel situation, you’re going to be staying in the same one as Oscar and myself. I think Zak will probably also be there this time around seeing as it’s the first race of the season.”

Before I could really think about what I was doing, my arms were wrapped around him in a tight embrace. He was quite taller than me, leaving my face buried into his chest. His muscles were tense, slowly easing as he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Thank you, Lando.” I mumbled, my voice muffled from his chest.

“Anything for you, darling.”

Coming to my senses, I pulled away a bit quicker than I would have liked.

“Fuck, I’m sorry-“

Lando was laughing at me now, probably seeing how red my face was.

“I got a bit excited.” I continued to try and explain myself without sounding like a fan.

Well, I was a fan, but that was beside the point.

“Just don’t get so excited that you forget to sign those papers, Miss y/ln.” I looked down at them to find that he was right, I really had forgotten to sign the papers.

His hand squeezed my shoulder as I was writing, causing me to hesitate slightly before continuing. His touch sent waves of heat through me, heat that I could explain but most definitely couldn’t deny either.

I looked up at him when I finished, praying my face wouldn’t give away the things his touch did to me. He smiled sweetly.

“I can’t wait for next week.” He said, as if he were the one who had just signed contract papers with McLaren as their primary photographer.

“Neither can I.”

…

…

…

“This picture? Really?” Lando gave me a look as we pulled my laptop away from me on the couch. I should’ve learned my lesson last time he took something from me, but apparently I had not.

“I like that one! It brings out your eyes.” I stated proudly. He smirked.

“You like my eyes, do you?” I paused, not expecting for that sort of question after the moments we had spent in the kitchen.

“Maybe, maybe not; but one thing is for certain, and that is that the LN4 Twitter fan girls are infatuated with them, and that’s all I need for my entire career to blow up.”

Who was I trying to fool, myself? Lando sent me a knowing look.

“Staring contest, go!” I was completely caught off guard by this, not prepared in the slightest.

His eyes bore into my own, blinding me without any light whatsoever. They were full of so many emotions that I couldn’t place, though the joy behind his iris’s couldn’t be contained. I almost smiled at the thought that maybe I was the reason behind the joy he was feeling.

Don’t blink

I lost myself in his eyes, in my thoughts, perfectly content to stare into him for the rest of our time together. I hadn’t realized that that we had slowly drifted towards each other, my mouth parted slightly in instinctive anticipation. Was this really happening?

Then he stuck is tongue out at me.

I blinked in confusion at first, laughing at his action before realizing I had lost the staring contest.

“Oh fuck off!” I laughed, throwing on of the couch pillows at him.

“You’re just mad because I’m right!” He laughed along with me, seeing the dawning look of realization grow on my face.

The only reason we had a staring contest was just for him to prove the fact that I liked his eyes. This bastard knew what he was doing. Honestly, I was starting to like that.

Or maybe I was just starting to like him.

…

…

…

The late afternoon had rolled around after spending the entire day joking around with Lando.

So much for being productive.

I led him to the door on his way out. I’m not really sure why I didn’t want him to leave; but, his presence sure beat the hell out of being lonely and editing his photos all day.

“Thanks for today, I had a lot of fun.” I said, giving him a small smile as a thanks. He chuckled.

“So did I, other than the part where I didn’t get pancakes.” I rolled my eyes before an idea popped into my head.

“If you won’t hold this over my head anymore, maybe you could come over for breakfast tomorrow morning?” Proud of myself, I gave him a wink. He blanked, surprised I even offered.

“Sure! As long as I can consider it our second date.”

“A deals a deal.” I offered him my hand. He shook it with a triumphant smile, bringing my hand to his lips before gently kissing the back of it.

“I suppose I’ll see you in the morning then, darling.”

And with that, he was gone and the door had shut behind him. The only thing he left behind was the faint scent of his cologne.

[julianalvarez9]

saw her first / mason mount & christian pulisic

request: hi! since your request is open can i request for a christian pulisic fic where reader is dating christian and she’s mason’s bestfriend. 3 of them are hanging out together in mason’s house and mason was complaining about his day to christian & reader but she is distracted by christian’s arm tattoos, she keep tracing it and inspecting it like she has never seen it before and mason is sooo done with reader’s behaviour and he called her out. make it fluffy, funny and sweet please!! thank you ❤️

pairing: bff!reader x bff!mason x bf!christian

word count: 0.9k

author's note: took me a bit but here it is! hope you like it 🤍

nothing had been going like mason wanted today.

he was rambling about it ever since he got through the door with your boyfriend, christian, just after practice. his effusive hands and his pacing throughout your flat reflected how conflicted he was about whatever it was that he was talking about, but running on almost no sleep it was almost impossible to catch what he was saying. mason stopped, dead in his tracks, and looked straight at you, once he realized you weren't replying to anything he was saying. he saw that you were too caught up in your boyfriend's tattoos in his left arm, tracing with your finger every line that adorned his skin.

you knew his arm like it was your own, having your finger traveling throughout the lines that dressed his skin with all sorts of drawings even before you two became a couple. mason obviously noticed your lack of attention to his complaints, and fuelled the anger that was already brewing in his bones.

“y/n, are you even listening to me?” he exclaimed, stopping on his tracks and getting his hands on his hips, eyes glaring at you when you dared to lift up your own, paying attention again once you heard your name.

you replied, maybe too quick to sound convincing. “of course i am!”.

mason lifted his eyebrows in an interrogative way, while christian stood up to find a glass of water in the kitchen, wanting to avoid his friend's wrath once he caught onto your lie.

“then what did i say?” he questioned, and his wicked smile grew the longer you took to answer him. “something about tuchel…?” you said, in a doubtful tone, clearly unsure about your answer. he opened his eyes wide at your mention of the german man who used to be chelsea's manager -key word, used. not anymore.

he raised his hands towards the sky, and then down onto his hair, looking like he might rip his head off. christian could only cough, trying to avoid getting drowned with the liquid he had been drinking before hearing your answer. “he hasn’t been with us since september!” mason said, high pitch in his voice noting how frustrated he was. you noticed he had tears in his eyes when he seated across from you, head in his hands that were supported in his legs. preoccupied by his reaction, you almost jumped to your feet, crouching by his side to hug him tightly.

“right, i’m sorry. i didn’t get to meet the new manager yet. i'm sorry, mase” you tried to explain, thinking that he was so mad at you that his anger spilled in tears. he lifted his gaze from his hands, to look at you through his glazed eyes. “you haven’t been coming to the matches?” mason said, voice broken in disbelief. you heard christian moving back into the living room, standing behind his friend to gently caress his head in a comforting way.

you explained, voice soft while looking back and forth between your best friend and your boyfriend behind him. “work has been insane these past few weeks. i promise i’ll be at the bridge for the next one, okay?”. you received a sympathetic smile in return, eyes now full of gentleness as they always were with mason. christian muttered, trying not to sound too judging but stating the truth nonetheless. he would never say something negative about your job, but he did miss seeing your face in the stands, cheering for him on the bridge or anywhere he played at. “you’ve been promising that to me since october…”, he noted.

“yeah, but i’m promising it to masey boy here” you said, jokingly, wanting to tease your boyfriend a bit. they always bickered about who’s your favorite, and even now, when you've been dating christian for almost two whole years, and he clearly knowing that he's got your heart completely, annoying him with mason never got old.

“you’re my girlfriend!” the american player said, big pout in his fully plump lips. you raised to your feet again, and gave him a quick peck on the lips, at which he grinned in return. mason, still in the couch and now under both of you, tried to separate you, like a little kid getting jealous about his mum and dad showing displays of affection in front of him. he got up, and turned to face christian now, pointing his finger accusingly at him. “she was my childhood neighbor before being your girlfriend, mate, i saw her first” he noted, smile that split his face in half at thinking he had won the argument. he always used that card against christian, even though you two hadn't really met there, only being aware of that fact due to your mom finding a pic of you and mason at one of your brother's birthday.

“yeah but-” your boyfriend tried to replicate, but you had grown tired of the argument replaying again and again, time after time, always with the same ending -no one winning, as you loved both boys to death. “enough of that!," you glared at both of them, two sets of wide eyes in return at your sudden raise in tone. an idea came to mind, and you, not being one to pass onto the fun, decide to joke a bit with the two best friends. "i’ll call tuchel to suspend both of you if you continue this nonsense” you quipped.

“for the last time, it’s potter now, y/n!" they both yelled at you, at which you could only laugh, clearly pleased with the annoyed look in both their faces.

[frozenjokes]

i continued being unable to sleep so i continued shoving as much of your writing into my brain as possible, by which i mean i just read alllll of the mumbomaid au pretty much at once and am being Normal about it

i love them all, i love all of them so much, i'm very invested in their shenanigans, i love how almost nobody understands gender and they all misunderstand it differently

i am ALSO aro in the "no i don't have feelings for anybody, yes i would date basically any of my friends" way and everything surrounding scar's aromanticism is so well done, i kept being soo exasperated with grian and the like. the incredibly allo misunderstanding of aromanticism, and not listening when scar and cleo try to tell him he doesn't get it, i have friends i've had almost those exact conversations with (but slightly less messy because of varyious factors including but not limited to Not Being Desert Duo, Thank Fuck) just ajfhdjdhjshdjfsk

also also i love textbook monsterfucker scar and i'm convinced bdubs thinks etho grew up in a cult or some shit (i'm throwing words at this ask box like spaghetti)

anyway uh. i'm probably gonna keep wanting to say words about your fics as i keep reading them and the ao3 comment section scares me so. i will probably be back, feel free to tell me to buzz off if this is not a preferred communication method

-guy that said mapleshade=p!scar (maplescar? scarpleshade? there's gotta be something here, did i mention the sleep deprivation sorry if this is all insane rambling lmao)

maplescar is a really cool tortie kitty name I like that a lot. maplescar would go crazy. ALSO PLEASE KEEP SAYING WORDS!!!!! say words FORWVER!!!! spam my ao3 comments and I will respond to them 9/10 ten times!!!!!!! I love talking I love when people talk to me THANK YOU!!!!!! you could send me an ask every single time you finish a chapter and I would kiss you on the lips each time but my followers might be killing you with hammers so. Pick your poison.

yeah my favorite part of mumbomaid is that no one knows what a gender is and they misunderstand in all different ways you put it 100% perfectly. I also find Grian to be frustrating but he’s also a vessel to explore More Feelings and in his defense a little outside of complicated aro/allo interactions scar is a bit of an asshole. They are both assholes. Two guys they Will have their cake and they Will eat it too and they are exploding because of it. I too thank god every day I am not desert duo I! hate them. Generally though I do not feel bitter about allo misunderstandings of aromanticism because I spent 21 years of my life also not understanding. Which. Is the fault of a normative society. However. It is deeply difficult to understand the internal experience of someone who functions differently than you on a chemical level. This is a bit of a tangent but my mom and I’s ability to communicate has been drastically improved by the acceptance that I am autistic. She sees me and we reflect on my life together and it makes Sense that the way I experience the world is Different so whenever we talk about something my mom doesn’t understand in relation to me her mind is so open because she knows my perception of the world is not the same as hers. neurodivergence isn’t entirely related to queerness but it has genuinely opened up so many doors for our communication. she goes aromantic? oh yeah that makes sense. I think she catalogs it with the autism which is correct because to me autism and Every Other Way I Experience The World is related. This is say I have a very amusing experience with one of my trans friends where he was like: …so you’ve never questioned your gender,,, like…. Ever..? and I said nope. and he like couldn’t believe me. He did obviously but it’s the idea that our experiences are so integral to the people we are that it’s extremely difficult to imagine it any other way. can you tell I’m a psych major yet. what was I talking about.

I haven’t thought of exactly what bdubs thinks about etho’s past but it’s probably something like that. Deep down, it doesn’t really matter. Bdubs just wants to protect him. He’s so worried, but he just wants etho to feel safe.

lightly suggestive under the cut bc I talk about the monster fucking a little bit and I don’t know your age/if my elaboration is unwarranted I’m just talking. I’m here for a silly time not a sexy one.

monsterfucker scar is dear to me. extremely important. Grian will never be able to do to him the, frankly, deranged things he fantasizes about. they can try but the mood is going to be ruined when scar is like :( your tentacle dick isn’t real. and Grian is going to sigh with his dumbfuck strap and the blue curtains and lights they hung up to make it look like they were underwater. Their entire experience in the bedroom is going to be a series of extremely comedic extremely unfortunate events to make up for the fact that scar is never getting any fish pussy 😔 scar will be put off the mood because Grian just isn’t Convicning enough like COME ON if I don’t believe I’m going to die THEN what’s THE POINT??????? their home life is just increasingly deranged. grian has accepted that he will never be able to compete with the horrors of the ocean and you may think that’s a ‘but he’s still a little jealous though..’ but he’s not. He’s accepted it. Full acceptance. The kind of worn down you get from fishing for a mending book for weeks on end but without the agony and more just. Amused. goodtimeswithscar is going to die young and by drowning but you’d better believe he’ll do it in ecstasy.

[ihateapbiology]

Coffee?

pt 2- pt 1 here

Julien hadn’t moved the whole night as you slept on her. Her right arm going completely numb from the awkward positioning but she still refused to disrupt your sleep. She couldn’t help thinking about what her friends had said- she needed to tell you. It was driving her insane from the inside out. But how …you probably 99.99% didn’t feel the same way so it was just sadistic to herself. You slowly opened your eyes and cracked a smile when you saw her big brown eyes looking down at you.

“Morning!” You grin sitting up and stretching.

She immediately stretched her arm “slept well on my arm?”

“Hey you could’ve shoved me awake.” You laugh.

“Mm you looked too comfy to do that.” She quietly says looking away.

You both are quiet for a minute until she goes “so uh coffee?”

You nod and get up to join her. You watch her get everything out for your guys’s coffee and feel your heart flutter at the domesticity of it all. You marvel at the subtle flex of her arms as she picks up the pot.

“Whatcha lookin at?” She says confused.

“Oh uh just like making sure like you know you found uh everything alright.” You stutter turning a beet red.

You sigh, God you felt your confession at the tips of your lips. You wanted to tell her. And you thought maybe she liked you back recalling the conversation from last night you overheard.

“Julien…?”

“Yeah?”

“I overheard you and Phoebe and Lucy talking last night and I don’t know if I like heard it clear enough but uh ok sorry I won’t ramble uh do ..do you love me.” You splutter out “or like like me romantically..?”

You see her face go through several emotions in two seconds. “Wh-what.” She says.

There’s silence. Shit shit shit. She breaks the silence “you heard wrong.” She coldly says.

You can’t even mask the sad expression on your face. “Sorry I really could’ve sworn I heard you guys talking about that.” You quietly say.

“Well you heard wrong.” She repeats more emotion in her voice than last time.

”OK I mean then who’s the “her” you guys were talking about? Are you talking to someone?” you tried to seem curious about your best friend’s love life.

“God just…no if I wanted you to know I would’ve told you. Why tf would you even eavesdrop anyways.” She snaps.

You look at her like a kicked puppy “Julien..I wasn’t eavesdropping..”

“Sure sounds like you were.” She replies.

“God just fucking forget I said anything you know what I’m sorry I’m sorry for hoping you could ever possibly love me back. I’m sorry I thought the emotionless Julien Baker could ever feel something.” You say voice cracking.

You see her jaw literally drop.

You retreat to your room.

“Wait y/n please y/n.” She runs after you.

She grabs your hand gently.

“What Julien you wanna berate me more?” You snap.

“No no no please just let me say one thing one thing.” She begs.

“Fine speak then.” You say.

She takes a deep breath “ok..ok” she cracks her knuckles nervously. “I ok I was terrified terrified that you …I love you I’m in love with you and I was terrified that you didn’t feel that same way and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship so I-“

You cut her off “you love me too?!???” You beam.

“Yeah I’ve been for a while.” She quietly says.

“So we’ve both been in love with eachother for so long?” You laugh.

She nods “I cannot believe this you love me?”

“Julien I cannot look at you without imagining a future.” You shyly say.

“Can I ..touch you.”

You nod and bound into her arms enveloping her in your arms. “I’m so happy.” You quietly say.

“Me too” she kisses your temple. “I’ve been wanting to do this for so long” she says before gently cupping your face. She turns your head and positions it down to her. “If I may.”

You guys collide your lips. Hers are so soft, the kiss is gentle but passionate. She pulls you closer by pushing the back of your head and you place a hand on her cheek. You feel her smiling into the kiss and you know you are too.

After a bit you guys pull away and you lean her forehead onto yours. “I love you so much Julien.”

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 4

♡ Summary: Carmy FINALLY admits how he feels to Syd, friskiness ensues! ♡ W/C: 10,405 ♡ Posted Date: 05/16/2024 ♡ A/N: AAAA Here is C4 of my SydCarmy Fic!! I hope you all like it, I'm sorry this fic was abandoned for so long there was a hiccup, but were so back! Who's pumped to see (fingers crossed) some IRL SydCarmy makeout action - IK I am!!! I hope that y'all enjoy this chapter, xoxo :D ♡ Warnings for BTC: SMUTTY SMUT SMUT !! Carmy being all mushy about Syd, Overprotective Carmy, You COULD Call this OOC but Carmy has been in intensive therapy about his exact feelings of holding back his own joy - so it could also be very IN character when you take that in to account ;)

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

“Uh- yeah? Yeah…” Syd said softly. She felt hot all over. Goosebumps were raised on each speck of flesh. Her head felt as if she’d smoked the joint from earlier all herself, light. Her chest felt warm, like her heart was being squeezed in a hug. 

Syd had kissed enough people before to know this felt different, much different then any other time she’d been kissed. As stupid as it felt, she was thinking she understood what people meant now when they said their world stopped when they finally kissed the person they were meant for. 

That- or their sexual tension was so insane that it lit each and every one of their nerves on fire, and the feeling of a magnet in her gut pulling her to him was all in her head, and she should really think about checking herself in. 

“I think I’ve been wanting to do that….i don’t know how long- but I know…I’m sure I’ve wanted it now for a while and I’m sorry I haven’t done it…I couldn’t lose you, Syd.” He rested his forehead on hers, huffing a sigh of relief through his nose and his eyes fluttering shut. 

“Do you wanna know why I really actually had the nerve to come out here?” She asked quietly. 

When Carm opened his eyes, he saw syds heartwarming smile, meer inches away from his own lips. He wanted to lean in and kiss her again, he wanted to show her just how badly he needed her, here, now. But he wouldn’t dare push her. He’d already felt like he’d taken too much. 

“Why?” He asked shyly. 

“Fuckin fak” she said, giggling a bit. “Fak. Of all people. He told me…that like- he said we should date?” She said, laughing as Carm’s cheeks go pink. “And he said ‘you’re already work married but I think he’d want to be real married’ “ she said and Carm groans in embarrassment. 

“I’m gonna fuckin kill him- I’m so so sorry” he rests his head on her shoulder, nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck in embarrassment, but he couldn’t help but smile. 

He nearly groaned when she gently runs her delicate fingers over his scalp slowly, ever so gently easing out the tangles from the day.

 “It was needed for me too I guess. I think it’s a little funny. And also strangely humbling, considering I pride myself on reading people. But everyone except for me saw your feelings. Well…maybe I did? I just didn’t accept them because I also didn’t want to lose you. Because I trust you” Syd went on. 

The words nearly brought tears to his eyes. She was afraid to lose him. She was afraid to lose him because of how much she trusts him.

 “I would never leave you, y’know that, right?” He sat up a bit, taking her other hand and holding it with both of his, “I would never dream of it. I fuckin- I- I feel like I need you? And that’s somethin I’m still..I’m still trying to get over it while I’m here and work it out and I’ve been really trying Syd but it’s - I try to explain it to my therapist it’s not- it’s not like I think I’ll die it’s not like I think I can’t- I can’t keep going but it’s like this- this-“ his ramblings is interrupted this time, by Syd returning the favor and kissing him. 

He let out a small satisfied hum of the feeling of his lips on hers, closing his eyes and moving his lips in tandem, relishing in the feeling of her fingers gently twirling his curls between her slender fingers, by instinct forming the little ringlets together in her fingers how she’d do when she played with her own curls. 

“Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much, Berzatto?” She teased, and Carm laughs genuinely. 

“Never. That's the first time I’m hearing this. I could talk to you forever though…” he said and pulls her closer. She was nearly sitting in his lap. But to Carm, she still wasn’t close enough. He wanted her glued to his side, he wished he could bottle up the essence of her comfort and carry it with him everywhere, that is how he would feel normal, that was how he could feel apart, without having to do the work on himself, that is. 

“I’m fucking with you. Honestly I-“ she’s cut off by Carmen’s phone buzzing loudly on the table. 

Babysitter #4 the contact read when they looked over. 

Carm saw the time and rolled his eyes “fucking motherfuckers” he muttered angrily and picked up the phone. 

“What?” He snapped.

“Hello! Mr.Berzatto this is Basekeeper Christian how we doing tonight?” Syd heard a man chirp through the phone. 

“Fine. What do you need.” He grates. 

“Well we have here on the log a guest- Sydney Adamu - she checked in for you around 1 pm today- her guest pass was never scanned out at the gate so we’re being sure that you’re both aware of the time. Visiting hours have been over for 45 minutes, but she is welcome back tomorrow” The man explained. 

Carmen wanted to drown his phone in the lake, get the first flight back to Chicago- (first class) - and fuck Syd so hard they literally caused turbulence. But- his testosterone driven rage wasn’t going to get him anywhere except thrown in a hospital here, since your essentially signing your sanity over on a little piece of paper until you ‘graduate out’. 

“Mmhmm.” He grumbles “she’s leaving. I’m walking her down now.” He hung up on the man before he could say anything else and he drops his phone back on the table, rubbing his face how he did when he was annoyed but didn’t want to let it out. 

“I told you I didn’t wanna get you in trouble!” She huffs 

“D’you really think I give a fuck?” he asked and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her chest flush to his. 

“No but I give a fuck, cause what happens if they think Y’re like becoming defiant and keep you away for longer.” She asked, looking down at his lips for a moment. 

He seized the opportunity to pull her into another kiss, but this one was…different, more heated, more wanting, the kind that felt like it was dripping in anticipation. 

She nearly melted into him, taking the chance to straddle his hips, sitting on his lap and cupping his cheeks as the kiss became more feverish. There were small nips, and moans, and wet sounds of lips moving with lips - they weren’t sure what sounds were coming from who at one point. 

His hands were all over her, gripping the curve of her ass, memorizing it, the way it filled his large palms, squeezing the flesh of her hips the way that made her creen with desire. He slipped his hands under her hoodie, the pit of fire in his stomach growing when he felt the raised goosebumps running up the entirety of the flesh on her back and sides. 

He disconnected their lips, kissing along her jaw, leaving small nips and bites before soothing them over with his tongue and kissing the stinging ache away, before moving on to the next targeted patch of skin and repeating the assault. 

Sydney was sure she’d never been so turned on in her life. She felt like a wild animal, like a horny teen again. She couldn’t remember another time, another person - who she wanted to share this much of herself with- so badly. But there was also something in her screaming that it could be ruined if they moved all at once. 

“Carm” she said softly, but his name had been leaving her lips in little moans and whines that it didn’t quite catch his attention. He gently bit down on her collarbone, suckling the flesh - being sure to leave a dark mark for her to admire in the mirror later - but also to remind himself when he sees her again that this all wasn’t just a dream. 

She moaned out softly, tugging his curls firmer and disconnecting his lips from her flesh. She tugs his head back to look up at her, and she nearly forgot why she’d told him to stop at the sight of his purely blissed out expression. 

His usual icy blue eyes had become blown out with the lust swimming in his pupils, the effect causing the rings of his iris’ to look like the deep sea. His cheeks were flushed a scarlet red, his lips were plump and rosy from all the kissing and sucking he was nearly addicted to already. He couldn’t get enough of her scent, her taste. His mind was already whirling around the fact that if he was this obsessed with the way her neck tasted?! 

He was sure that when he did go home, he and Syd would both not be returning to work for a week because he was determined to lick, kiss, nip, bite, worship- every inch of skin she would allow. He felt…devoted. That was the word that was swirling throughout his mind, he was devoted to her pleasure, however she requested it. 

“You taste so fuckin’ good” he said softly, taking the hand that was cupping his cheek and opening his mouth, wrapping his lips around her fore and middle finger and moaning as his eyes fluttered shut at the taste. He swirled his tongue around her digits sensually and Syd felt as if her brain short circuited for a moment. 

Her jaw went slack, his filthy noises mixed with the saliva gathering at the corners of his lips - he was nearly fucking drooling at the taste of her. 

“You’re a fucking whore Jesus Christ.” She said lowly. He smiled around her fingers, pulling off with a pop and swallowing with a satisfied hum. 

“Please stay. Please” he looks up at her with pleading eyes. 

“You know, if the whole EC thing stops working for you- you definitely have a potential career in modeling - for animal shelter donations. Don’t give me those fucking puppy eyes, Berzatto” she said and he ups the amperage, fluttering his lashes for added effect. 

“And how! There’s a gate. Once I scan this to let myself out there’s security guards Carmy. I can’t just come back!” She said 

“You think I’d make you go out there? No. Jess will do it, he owes me anyway.” He explained, gently rubbing up and down her sides. 

“How is he supposed to do that?” She asked and Carm smiled friskily 

“He has ways.” He shrugged. “This isn’t his first round here. He knows his way around the grounds. Cmon you wanna go back to the hotel? A little fun never hurt no one Syd” he mused, gently tucking his hands in the back pockets of her jeans 

“Mmmmm…” she tapped her finger to her lips as if she was thinking “no. I’m not risking your entire stay here for one night of making out. We can do this tomorrow, you need sleep, I need sleep. It’s better if I just go, Carm” she told him gently. 

He huffs, dropping his head back to the couch pillow. “Don’t blame me for trying” he muttered. 

“I’m not, it’s very sweet how much you want me to stay with you” she kissed his chin gently. If his cheeks, and neck, and chest, weren’t already flushed he would have blushed, but instead he just felt the familiar rush of warmth to his face and chest he felt whenever they touched. 

“I always want you with me” he said honestly. His eyes fluttered shut as she made a trail of kisses from his chin to his lips, over the bridge of his nose, to the crest of his forehead, and finally one sweet lingering kiss to the top of his head, before resting her cheek there and embracing him in a warm, tender hug.  “I’ll always be around for you” she whispered.

Syd was finally off to her hotel in an Uber, that Carmen had insisted on ordering, he told her he had to be sure he’d able to watch it- even though Sydney was more than happy to turn on her location for him (she did so just to ease his nerves), he checked the liscence plate three separate times making sure each letter matched, and had to check the front and back, and also google a photo of the car to be sure it was the same exact one that they had listed. 

He also asked the man what his name was when he pulled up- and was sure to lecture him to not drive off until she was inside her room, and telling her to call him if she had any problems at all. Syd was slightly embarrassed, but it also made her feel so tended to and cared for. 

The second she got to her room and put her bag down, she texted Carm 

Syd: Made it back 100% safe and as I was when I saw you last! Thank you for scaring the shit out of that Uber driver. I'm not sure he’s ever gonna take a ride there again - he told me when I got out it was easier picking people up at a military base. 

Carm picked up his phone right away, sighing in relief. 

Carm: Would you put your right hand in an Uber alone with no way of being sure they’ll be ok?

He sent back with a small smile. After Syd had taken a quick shower, brushed her teeth, tied up her hair, and gotten in her pajamas she had sent him her response 

Syd: Aren't you right handed? So wouldn’t I be your left hand? Since in this analogy you’re one hand I’m the other? So you would be your own dominant hand? No?

Carmen didn’t hear his phone buzz over the sound of the shower running, but he couldn’t respond anyway, because said hand was currently wrapped tightly around his cock as he leaned against the cool shower wall, head rested against it, slowly stroking and tugging as he whimpered her name.  

He was getting frustrated, though. Because now that he’d felt her hands in his- he could imagine one thousand times better how it would feel wrapped around his cock. His own calluses and rough skin, as well as the sheer size of his hand was not matching the fantasy of her jerking him off on her knees in the cave behind the waterfall that he’d discovered. 

“I’ll always be here for you, Bear. I love taking care of you, is this what you need? You need to cum on my face?” she said in his fantasy, her tongue dipping over the curve of his v-line as she tugged his cock in slow languid strokes. 

He whimpered out, “yes- fuck so fuckin dirty” he groaned, pumping himself faster. 

“Do you want to cum on my face, or cum down my throat?” He imagined her hot open mouthed kisses along the side of his neck earlier instead being along the length of his shaft and he nearly got weak in the knees. 

“Oh fuck” he whined, imagining the taste of her once again, the feeling of her fingers nearly touching the back of his throat, the feeling of her tongue on his, the feeling of suckling on her tongue and swallowing their mixed saliva like it was the very essence of life. 

“I’m yours, I’m yours, bear” he imagined the look on her face as she came, the way he’d make her legs shake, how she’d stutter, and creen, and arch her back for him. 

“Fuck gonna fuckin make y’mine baby- shhiiit y’so fuckin hot” he grunted as he spilled into his fist with heaving breaths.

It took him a moment to catch his breath and find his composure once more. When he opened his eyes, his cheeks heat in sheer embarrassment at the amount of cum covering from his abs, dripping down his balls all the way down his thighs. 

“Fuckin hell” he muttered” rinsing himself off before taking a quick shower. It wasn’t a surprise though, any time he touched her the fantasy’s in his mind would run wild - and the fact that they were really doing this, that they were…together? Wanted to be together? He wasn’t sure, all he knew was that his head felt lighter, his balls felt heavier, and he could not wait to see her tomorrow. 

 When he laid in bed and finally read her response, he chuckled a bit. 

Analogy’s, Acronyms, Abbreviations - haven’t you learned they aren’t my forte? 

Before plugging his phone in after setting his alarm, and trying to get some sleep. 

Every time his phone vibrated he assumed it was her, and would check it- to become frustrated that it was just another useless email, or news notification. 

She’s probably fucking sleeping you freak get ahold of yourself. 

He’d thought, but that didn’t do anything to stop his racing thoughts. He actually had to end up jacking off again to get himself to the point of exhaustion he could essentially pass out instead of willfully falling asleep. 

The next morning, though, he nearly hopped out of bed. Carmen had never remembered a time he was so excited to take on a day. He put on his favorite thermal white long sleeve and vintage wrangler jeans, brushing his teeth and slipping on his boots before heading outside. 

He stopped by Jesse’s cabin, banging on the door “wake up , jagoff!” He called through the door. One time, Jess had slept through half the day and missed meds- which was an immediate send back to inpatient, and a restart of your outpatient time, so naturally- Jesse was pissed with himself, and Carmen wasn’t too happy either because for 3 days he had to mope around basically alone, and walk Shayna wherever she wanted to go. So ever since he got back to the OP cabins, Carm was determined to at least assure Jess was awake before first call so he wouldn’t get thrown back again.  

“It’s fuckin- it’s like 30 minutes before first call, asshole!” He grumbled as he unlocked and opened the door. 

“Get dressed, first call is now- I wanna get the cows taken care of and shower before Syd comes back you owe me remember” he said and Jess rolls his eyes. 

“Shay is gonna be pissed” he said 

“Don’t care she can suck it” he stepped into the cabin, shutting the door and turning on the lights to which Jesse groans dramatically. 

“Jesus Christ” he shields his eyes with his arms. “You’re worse then the inpatient morning staff” he went over to the bed, flopping back down on his stomach and covering his head with a pillow. 

“The morning staff? Thats low” Carm snorts a laugh, opening his dresser drawers and throwing a fresh pair of boxers, a pair of jeans, and one of his black hoodies on to his back. “Im getting Shay if you’re still sleeping when she’s up and dressed? You know what she’ll do” Carm warned, before heading across the way. 

He gently knocked on the door instead, of pounding as to not give her a panic attack. “Shay?” He called “you up?” He asked, knocking again a bit louder. 

“If you don’t get away from my door I’ll peel your balls like clementines” she snaps loudly 

“That’s uh- wow” he said with a chuckle “I was gonna offer to use my day pass and Syd can check the two of you out and we can go off-roading like you’ve been talking about? Unless…” 

He heard her footsteps quickly approaching the door and the clicking open of the 3 deadbolts and the sliding chain before unlocking it, sticking her head out and squinting at the light - “fuck” she stuck her hand in front of her to block the sun. 

“You really mean it?” She asked hopefully 

“I wouldn’t lie t’you, Shay. Yes. If you get dressed now and come sit with Jess and I while we feed the cows” he added. She rolled her eyes slightly. 

“Gimme 5” she said and shut the door. 

“Thank you!” He called to her and went back across the way, opening the door to Jesse’s cabin. “Dude!” He said frustratedly when he heard him snore. He walked over, taking the pillow from on top of his head and wacking him with it. 

He startled awake “wha- fuckin not cool” Jesse said, sleepily rubbing his face.  “You think string bean across the way is gonna be able to carry even a single bale? Come on!”

After Carm and Jesse had moved their entire groups worth of bales in record time, due to the fact that patients weren’t allowed to check out until their routines as they called them had been completed - since that was one of their main ideas, being a stable routine helps an unbalanced mind stay regulated. 

But, daylight was burning- and he was not wasting another single minute in this place as soon as Syd got here. 

Carm was the first one in line to get his meds that morning, the first one to breakfast, and the first one in the main office. “Morning” he said to the woman sitting at the counter. 

“Mr. Berzatto! Good morning to you as well honey how can I help you?” She asked 

“Uh- the day pass? How do I go about that?” He asked. 

“Oh! Yes ok so let me grab you the form here” she opens up her desk and takes out a blank form. 

“Alright so between regular visiting hours so 6 am and 11 pm you may leave the facility with the signature of your therapist since you were a self admission. Each patient gets one day pass unless needed for familial emergencies and things of that nature. You may do whatever you wish, but if you are to not return by curfew- you will be kicked out of the program. Understood?” She said and he nodded 

“Understood.” He said and handed over his patient ID so she could fill out the form. 

She quickly filled out all the information that was needed  “Alright here we go, enjoy your day” she said as she handed him his ID and the form back. 

“Thanks, you too” he took it and headed straight to Mandy’s office. 

He got there just as the clock struck 8, and huffed when he realized that the door was still locked and the lights were off, she must have been running late this morning. So he decided to fish his phone out of his pocket and he saw Syd had replied when he was getting his meds. 

Things that have to do with communication usually don’t come natural to you, I’ve noticed. But you’re learning!! Lmk the plans for today whenever you want

His thumbs hovered over the keyboard for a moment, before he was hitting the call button and pressing the phone to his ear. 

“Hello?” She picked up after the third ring. 

“Hey- uh hey- g’morning- did you… did y’sleep alright?” He asked, almost feeling awkward, he became more stressed out the more he asked himself why he would ever be feeling awkward around her. 

“As good as one can in the dead quiet. I can’t believe I’m saying this but… I miss the train?” She said and carm chuckled a bit. 

“Yeah- yeah. Wow I- I haven’t even thought about that. You get used to it by like..a week? Maybe. I dunno the first week here I just spent either drawing or moving hay or training star, so by the time my head hit the pillow- I don’t even think there’s a night I remember falling asleep, other then last night but…that’s a different story” he said, hoping she would bring up so he could sooth the anxiety that she regretted everything. 

“Yeah the craziest thing Carm- I woke up- and it looks like my neck was attacked by leeches! Now why would that be?” She mused. He felt the heat burning his cheeks, but he couldn’t help the smug smirk that curled on his lips.  

“You did? Have you been swimming? It’s a little cold to be swimming, Syd. I don’t even think there is leeches in big bear lake.” He teased. 

“Oh that’s why it’s so insane! I think..this hotel may have a late night leech problem, haven’t you seen that movie? Attack of the late night leeches?” She joked with one of her adorable giggles. 

“That classic fictional horror movie? Are you joking? Of course I’ve seen Attack of the late night leeches- I’ll do you one better, have you seen the suck-uel? ” He asked, smiling proudly to himself when she cracks up laughing. 

He heard Mandy’s keys and heels clicking down the hall “hey- hey start getting ready, wear something comfortable - I’ll call you in a few” he told her. 

“Oh- ok! Like.. sweatpants?” She asked

“Whatever- jeans, sweatpants - just something to be moving around in yea?” He explained. 

“Carmen? Oh- sorry I’m late, no one usually is checking in so early is everything ok?” Mandy asked him and he gave her an apologetic smile and held a finger up to tell her it’d be just a second. 

“Okay- sure I’ll do Jeans, sorry for keeping you- bye” she said and hung up before he got a chance to tell her she was never ‘keeping’ him, or holding him up. 

“Uh- sorry, y’supposed T’sign this f’me I guess? ” He asked her as she unlocked the door. 

“Out-Day form?” She questioned, flicking on the lights and going to sit on her rolling chair behind her desk. 

“Mmhmm” he hummed and handed it over. 

“No. You haven’t done a single light tunnel assignment correctly. You haven’t advanced enough in the program to get back out, you’ll undo your progress” she said plainly and turned on your computer. 

Pure rage washed over him like a bucket of ice water. “It’s bullshit. I told you what my fucking light is. It’s not my fault you don’t see her like that” he crossed his arms angrily. 

“The purpose of the light tunnel project, Carmen, is that no matter where we are, we can find a light, and follow it. A person, is not a light.” She explained without looking up, since they’d already had this very conversation each time he refused to attend their check in meetings regarding the stupid project. 

“But she is f’me! What don’t you get?! Syd is my fucking light! She- she always has been! Ever since I fucking met her!!! Please. Please. Mandy, what do I have to say?” He asked and she looked up at him over the rims of her thick black glasses. 

“She’s here isn’t she.” She said matter of factly. 

“And? What does that have to do with anything?” He asked. 

“Shut the door. Sit. If you’ll have your weekly light session now, then maybe- let me repeat, maybe, I will sign this for you to leave lotus with her for the day.” She said seriously. 

He quickly shut the door and sat down in the chair, and she realized she’d never gotten him to start a session so easily before. 

“Fine. What. Ask me anything I’ll tell you anything.” He said honestly. 

She sits back in her chair, folding her hands over her stomach. “Let’s imagine together. Say you jump into a relationship with this girl since you've been playing with the idea that she’d be a good fit for so long, and 6 months down the line- you two realize that running a business and being a partnership isn’t for you. How will you manage this? What have you learned here? We’ll start there.” She shrugged. 

Carmen sighed, mentally rolling his eyes. 

That would never happen 

He’d thought to himself. 

“I’d…” he trails off, thinking harder about what she may want to hear. 

“I’d - pick whichever is more integral to my happiness. I’d make the choice f’me not f’what mikey would have wanted. Mikey would want me to keep the business and dump her, but…like I told you. She makes life bearable. I wouldn’t even want the bear anymore if she wasnt there. I-“ he stopped suddenly, realizing how he’d really felt and going dead silent. 

“Okay so hit me with that breakthrough thought we just had” she pats the desk “cmon- let it out.” She encouraged. 

He took a deep, shaking breath. “I hate it…I- I fuckin’-“ he shook his head “I fuckin’ hate the environment I work in.  I-it’s loud, and it’s-it’s demanding, it’s stressful, it’s- it’s usually fuckin’ thankless most of the time... but it- it is…everything. It- was. It was everything. I think- I think that’s why? Y’know? When I first got here that I was so good. And uh…the fuckin- the inpatient nurses they’d always be so fuckin nice t’me and I always wondered why but…but I’m- I’m agreeable. It’s because I thrive under a demanding routine. They- they aren’t used t’that im like- A- a fuckin freak” he shook his head, laughing dryly. “I am still the freak. At fucking adult crazy camp. B-but the nurses they aren’t used t’people who just follow fuckin direction. But that- that’s being in culinary school, that was NOMA that- that was every fucking place ive been trained to do what I do. And I love it- I-i do. I like knowing what I’m going to be doing from the minute I wake up to the minute I’m in bed again, a-and I uh…” he rubbed his chin as he thought. 

“I um…I think that Syd? Y-y’right. But in a way, so so wrong. Because she- she isn’t my light she’s my darkness. She’s my peace. She’s my…my fucking midnights?”  He chuckled a bit at how stupid he felt saying it. “She’s…like- peace. She is what takes my fuckin view off the light. I’m a- I-I’m a moth. Mandy. I’m a fucking moth. And I can’t look away from the light, from the routine- from the- the- the chaos! I can’t! It’s who I am, it's what I need, it’s what makes me thrive. So no I- I have too much attention on the god damn light. Mandy! I need some fucking rest, I need some- some reprieve- some god damn relaxation?!” He said frustratedly. 

“Like- I-i- I’m realizing. Fuck! I’m not getting better Mandy I’m getting comfortable again!” he shook his head, running a nervous hand through his curls that were still damp from the shower. “She saved me. Again! She made me fucking..she- she showed up and she showed me that I’m doin that- that- that I need something to take me off routine because I- I get obsessed with it. So my fuckin light? My stupid light is finding someone who can turn it the fuck off“ he stood up, pacing anxiously. 

“C-can you give feedback? please? y’too quiet” he said, nervously shaking his hand as he walked back and forth from the window. 

There was light scratching of pen on paper on the desk and he looked over just as she holds out the form, offering it to him. “Bring by your light tunnel packet later I’ll sign you off” she said. 

“That- that- that’s it? That’s all? Y’-y’not like…” he looked at her confused. 

“That was what I’ve been asking you to give me for the past 2 weeks. Have fun today! Enjoy yourself. We will go deeper into my feedback tomorrow.” she said, Carmen took the paper and was out of the office before she could barely blink. 

He briskly walked down the hall, hitting syds contact and dialing her number. She answered fairly quickly “never say that again.” He told her. 

“Hello to you too?” She questioned. 

“Y’not - sorry. Y’not ever fuckin’ holdin me, er’- er’ keepin me. Or whatever bullshit you said before you hung up. I - I’ll always talk t’you” he pushed open the door to the therapists office cabin, heading down the stairs. 

“Oh- ok…yeah I- I mean I really like talking to you too” she said, he could hear the smile to her voice and just knowing she was smiling made his chest lighten tenfold. 

“Yeah…uh- so- we get days out here? Jesus feel like I’m in fuckin prison. But they allow us out, 6-11 - did you wanna go off roading with me Jess and Shay t’day? Shes been wantin t’go really bad- there’s this place it’s literally 10 minutes away. We rent a jeep and we get like a fuckin hand radio and we use it to keep in touch with the tour guides that drive ahead of us. Apparently we drive up walls and shit? It sounds super sick she’s been goin’ on and on about it since I was told I got my day. They both uh…well Shay had one of the days but she blew it on hooking up with this band member? I think? And Jess wasn’t sent here…by choice…so you would just check them out- but it’s nothing to it- you’re just speaking f’them that you’ll try to get them back” he explained. 

“Shit- uhhh- yeah! That sounds fuckin…awesome. So- like- we’d be driving? Have you…done something like that before?” She asked 

“No- well- yeah no. But I looked it up it’s not that crazy. And Jess said he used to go with his brothers all the time- he was gonna drive for us. It’s not like fuckin- daredevil shit Syd, it’s mostly like cool scenery we wouldn’t be able to see otherwise.” He opened up the door to his cabin, checking the trash to make sure they didn’t leave behind any alcohol bottles from yesterdays activities. 

“Alright- I’ll Uber over now then” she said 

“No- nah. It’s cool, it’s cool gimme a sec” Carmy said, putting the call on speaker and opening the Uber app on his phone.  

“What do you mean? You want me to walk?” She teased. 

“Nope juuuust-“ he said, stalling her for a few more moments “aha. Avery! Perfect. Avery, a nice looking middle aged brunette woman in a Nissan Rogue will be there for you in 3 minutes. I’ll stay on the phone just to make sure Avery is who Avery says” he said and plopped down on the sofa. 

She sighed dramatically. “you make it like we’re in Chicago right now. This is Big Bear California, I was literally talking to this couple and they said they don’t even lock their doors here?!” She said and Carmy heard her shut the hotel room door behind her. 

“Still, y’here f’me so…it’s my job to look after you” he said and rested his foot on the coffee table as he sunk deeper into the couch, the mornings extra 5 bales of hay beginning to weigh on his already bad back. 

“Oh- yeah, look after me - I will be sure to tell them that I’m checking you and your friends out of day therapy so you guys can look after me” she teased and Carmen snorts a laugh. 

“Y’know what? All this talkin’ why aren’t we searching for Avery mm? What if Avery is really some weird fuck in a black van ready to steal you cause he sees how innocent you look in your Uber picture?” He counters and she laughed. 

“Ohhh oh- yeah! Like your creeper van? The one you refuse to get rid of? I’m sure another fellow in a creeper van, you guys would actually hit it off! If this man in a van shows up, I think I should ask him to go off roading with us” she mused and Carmen laughed, rolling his eyes playfully. 

“Fuck off! You know how many times that piece’a’shit has saved us? A bunch!” He countered 

“Oh well would you look at that I’m looking at a Nissan Rogue are you ready for this license plate I’m gonna read it off. I know this is a presidential level transfer” she teased 

“Shut up…just send me a picture of it I’ll see you soon” he muttered with a smile, his cheeks heating once more. 

“Jesus! I’ll see you in literally ten minutes Carm. Try to take a chill pill in the meantime ok?” She said 

“Just get here I wanna see you” he said and hung up, his heart nearly thumping out of his chest. 

At least he was honest?

Carmy made the quick walk to the main office cabin once more where guests check in, waiting on the porch and leaning against the doorframe. 

When he saw the Uber was one minute away he finally stopped staring at the ride tracking feature and put his phone in his pocket, nearly vibrating with excitement. 

A white midsize Nissan pulled up and Carmy practically bounced down the stairs to open up the back passenger door. “Were you waiting for me?” She asked, sliding out after thanking the driver. 

He shut the car door “had to make sure you got here safe, right?” He asked, heart pounding in his chest as he pulled her to the porch by the hand gently. 

“I missed you too” she said, a bit…shy? Carm had never heard Sydney be shy before, something about it made his head swim that he had this effect on her, even if only for a fleeting moment. 

“Thanks f’comin” He muttered as he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her back and she rested her cheek on his chest. 

“You smell good” she mumbled, lacing her fingers together behind his back as she held him. 

“You always smell good” he said and gently kissed the top of her head. 

“I’m not sure why I thought I’d be sleeping in when I came here, I woke up at 4 and my first thought was that I missed the delivery cause of the time difference” she said, resting her chin on his chest as she looked up at him. 

“When I first got here- let’s say the first maybe 12 days? I was restless at night unless I was cleaning. I felt fuckin nuts” he said and looked down at her. 

Her eyes looked like golden honey in the early morning sun, her skin was glowing with whatever sunscreens and lotions she put on this morning. “You have super long eyelashes” she said after a few moments, their faces mere inches apart. 

“Is that good?” He questioned, a small smile curling on his lips. 

“Mmm I dunno. Maybe? They’re pretty.” She said 

“OH MY GOD!! KISS, KISS, KISS!!!” Shayna chants loudly as her and Jesse walk down the row of cabins to meet them 

Carmen rolled his eyes, turning to face them. “You love to ruin a moment don’t you, Shay?” Jesse said with a grin 

“You two jagoffs are getting checked out by my-“ he stopped, thinking for a short moment  

“I should be offended” Syd laughs “your friend? Asshole?” she said and Shayna laughs 

“Oh my god Carmen! Stand up bitch!” Shay came over, resting her arm on Carm’s head on the way she knew ticked him off. 

“I am standing stringbean” he brushes her arm off and she slings her arm around Syd’s shoulders instead. 

“Since he won’t claim you you’ll be my girlfriend for the day” she said and Syd laughs. 

“Oh finally a taker, if I swung that way I’d be all over it” she linked their arms together. 

“Awww come onnn” Shay smiled “you look like a girl who likes magic” she said playfully. 

“Woooowww” Syd laughs “Magic huh? What kind of magic?” 

Shayna smiled flirtatiously “the kind with princess wands and special rabbits” she said playfully and Jesse laughed.

“Carm I highly recommend you collect your friend before before the succubus gets ahold of her”  he said and Shayna rolled her eyes. 

“Well if he’s not gonna take a bite” Shay teased and Carmy plucks Shayna’s arm off Syd’s shoulder and pulled Syd back to him 

“Fuck off” he said, wrapping his arm around her waist securely. 

Carmen was becoming snappy very quickly. He had just been able to admit to Syd somewhat how he’d felt last night- and felt as if Shayna was trying to turn her off of him somehow. But it was simply his blind hormonal testosterone taking the reins.

For Syd, every nerve she had was on fire. She simply thought Shayna was hilarious, and knew she meant nothing by the harmless flirting - but seeing the way Carmys fists tightened slightly at his sides, the way he watched Shayna’s every move. And when he grabbed her like that? He had never claimed her before, they had hugged- sure. They of course made out last night. But he had claimed her as his, at least in the way Shayna was jokingly insinuating they should hook up. 

“Awww shortstack” Shayna ruffled his hair and he pushed her hand away annoyed  “Fuck off Shay” he huffed “are we goin’ ‘er are you two gonna keep fuckin’ w’me?” he grabbed Syd’s hand, leading her up the steps and opening the door for her.

They had been led to a forested mountain by the tour guides, and had been encouraged to park and explore the trails a little bit. Shayna had begged Jesse to go with her until he got the message - she wanted to be sure Carmen and Sydney were left alone. 

“Do you-“ Syd gasped, her heart thrumming with anticipation as he ravished her neck with hot, open mouth kisses, that quickly turned into goosebumps after moving on to the next spot and the crisp fall air would chill the remaining saliva he’d left on her skin.

His hands were everywhere under her sweatshirt. Palming her tits, playing with her nipples between his fingers until they became perky and plump, gently dragging his nails over her ribs as he reached up, slowly rubbing over the supple soft skin with the pads of his fingers to caress her shoulderblades and easily unhook the simple 2 clasped bralette she’d been wearing.He tugged at her jeans and she lifted her hips right away. Carmy quickly unbuttoned them, nearly breaking the zipper trying to get it open, and pulled them down swiftly with trembling hands. 

This revealed the small wet spot right on the crotch seam due to the barely there black lace she’d worn akin to her bralette, since the jeans shed taken were stupidly thin in order to fit a weekends worth of clothes in one overnight duffle so she wouldn’t need to check a bag. 

“Do you think they- that they fucking planned this?” she breathed out.

Carmen could barely think - he was being driven by something outside of himself. The only thing he knew that he craved was her most sensitive, intimate parts in his mouth, as if it was the very air he breathed. The last 4 minutes had felt like an hour but yet, only a second to him, and what had been a small bonfire underneath his skin last night had turned into a full on blazing inferno this time around. 

He smoothly sunk onto his knees in the shared large footwell of the back seat. This had been made more than easy for him because Shayna had *conviniently enough of course*  thought that she’d dropped her vape thing Carm was always making fun of her for somewhere in the front and was convinced it ‘slid under one of the front seats’, and had even forced Jesse to also move his seat up all the way to ‘check’, but- it of course ended up being in her bra where she always kept it. 

He tossed a toned, long leg over each of his muscular shoulders, giving him full access to exactly what he needed. He trailed butterfly like kisses over her waistline from left to right, before licking a broad wet stripe back down. “I’ll owe ‘em fuckin’ forever if they did” he breathed into the crook of her thigh, before wetly kissing along the leg of her panties in tandem with the way he’d done to her waistband.

He got to the portion of her pantyleg where her lip was peeking out of the fabric, he took this opportunity to teasingly flick his tongue over it sharply, before pulling it between his lips and looking up at her in a lust filled haze with those thunderstorm like eyes as he sucked it gently at first, but gradually sucking harder until she was tugging her bottom lip between her teeth hotly, and her back was slightly arching off the seat as she whined hotly. 

“Where- Oh my god? - Where did you learn this- you fucker” she nearly cried out. He rubbed the sides of her thighs soothingly after her hips buck involuntarily, holding her legs for her with his muscular forearms so she wouldn't be sore on the plane home. 

He pulled off the plumpened skin with a pop, blowing cold air over the wetness he’d left behind with puckered lips and she shivered, goosebumps arising all over her hot skin.

“Nonono-” she begged “Carmy you barely even touched me” she whimpered “plea-ah!-“ she nearly yelped, looking down at him once more when he nipped her hip bone, before quickly soothing the stinging ache with his warm silky tongue and leaving a featherlight kiss over the slightly inflamed, aggravated skin. 

She gently pushed his curls off of his forehead in order to see his glazed over piercing blue eyes once more, boring right back into hers with a passion that made her stomach flip, and clench, and twitch. 

His cheeks were so flushed, she thought it was adorable how red he got when they made out, her excitement was thankfully for her a bit easier to contain. But this level? His cheeks were blazing red, the top of his chest and collarbones were splayed pink. 

This was because way she was whimpering and moaning under his touch was driving him to a level of horny insanity he didn’t think existed. When people said primal urges - he didn’t get the full scope, and almost had the feeling to laugh at that sentiment- until the very moment he was currently encased. 

Something took over him, something not of his own confidence or knowing- it was as if he was following a script, a hot, perfectly written- filthy script.

He’d buried his nose between the folds of her pussy that was still covered by her dripping lace panties that didnt cover or contain anything. 

Taking a deep breath, his eyes fluttered shut in bliss, getting nearly pussydrunk off her scent alone, his mouth watering so much at the thought of her sweet nectar being right there for him to taste- he was already nearly drooling.  

“You look so fucking pretty between my legs, Carmy” she purred, gently brushing his cheekbone with her nimble, cool forefinger over his burning hot skin. 

Carmen was so hard against his denim that his cock was actually starting to ache. He’d never in his life felt so pathetically desperate to please someone. 

He needed to be inside her, to feel her warm tight walls squeezing around his cock, to pound her absolutely fucking silent - and soon - but before he allowed himself that ultimate pleasure that the universe was handing to him, wrapped the absolutely breathtaking box, with stunning wrapping paper and a bow - that was his Sydney; he had to absorb every single detail of what she liked, and what made her feel good to memory, so he could play it back in his mind over and over and over, until he could recite it like the back of his hand if asked, the same way he could recite the hundreds of ingredient ratios he’d memorized in cooking school.

“And you smell so fucking good” he countered and nudged his strong nose firmly against her already throbbing, swollen clit, earning a small, sweet squeak out of her. “It’s the only thing I couldn’t imagine. Fuck but it’s so good, baby - everything- everything is so fuckin’ perfect” he mumbled against her core, licking a broad, slow stroke with the pad of his tongue up the divot he’d created in the fabric with his nose, savoring the taste of her juices that had seeped through the breaks of lace.

His large blue eyes rolled back hotly, his lids fluttering shut and nearly a whimper coming out of his throat at the taste of her finally on his palate. 

He had to squeeze his cock that was pushing at the right leg of his jeans to ease the pulsing, throbbing ache that started to grow worse and worse the second he’d inhaled her addictive scent.

“Carm you are so pussydrunk - are you fucking touching yourself?” she tugged his hair, pulling him up from her aching core. She realized his entire chin, and nose, was glistening with her arousal. 

 “holy shit.” She said at the view of him, it was stunning. “What fucking business do you have being this hot?” She panted, but when he opened his mouth to reply- she pushed him back roughly to where he was needed much more desperately. 

“That tongue of yours has sooo many better uses right now then trying to talk shit” she said. He obeyed her command like her own personal puppet, quickly tugging the useless wet lace to the side with his forefinger and gratefully lapping up her viscous slick, a gutteral moan errupting from his chest at the tangy, sweet taste bursting over his tongue. He nearly panted at how good she tasted, swallowing and sucking and slurping up all he could. 

His brows knit together in bliss, eyes shut momentarily as he enjoyed himself before he opened them again, watching her every reaction and focusing back on solely making her cum as hard as she possibly could, in the backseat of a cold jeep- that was. He figured that could cause for some negative advantage, but he’d weigh the advantages and disadvantages of how the could have done this better later.

He was in pure heaven. He felt her thighs tremble slightly against his neck as he swirled his tongue gently around her entrance, egging him on to dip his tongue in to her tight pussy. Her flavor was causing him to drool, the wet lapping and lewd squelching that was filling the backseat of the car was absolutely sinful. 

“More- h-harder Carm” she rocked her hips against his mouth, tugging his curls and pulling him up to tongue her clit instead. He very much appreciated her guidence, it was of course - anything he could have wanted in a partner regarding intimacy, but- she’s Syd, she’s perfect for him- they were made for eachother. They were finally beginning to understand this, well- Carm was, Syd was simply just now accepting it.

He loved being a student, and he’d discovered long before now Syd was his favorite teacher. This was a new subject they’d yet to explore, but Carmen knew he’d eventually ace the class, and it would become their combined favorite subject to master together.

He sloppily lapped over the twitching, throbbing bud, drawing random consistently paced patterns over it that were making her gasp and mewl beneath him. He was pretty sure he was going to cum in his pants faster than he would find to be not embarrassing, but he didn’t really care. 

“Fuuck yes good fucking boy- thats it- shit- y’re such a mess Carm” she said, tugging his soaking wet face deeper into her core. Her breath stuttered as she feels a sharp flick of his tongue across the sensitive pearl, her head falling back in bliss and hips jerking unintentionally, his name beginning to spill from her lips like an invocation. 

He set a hungry pace, slack jawed, watching as her face twisted in pleasure, soaking in every single sound. He was devoting every single gasp, every twitch, every mumbled praise to memory. One thing about him, he was efficient- so instead of this first brush of below the belt intimacy being about chasing his own pleasure - it was about making sure, next time they fooled around, she came three times as hard, now that he knew which exact buttons to push.

“Finger me - please - shit Carm, now” she ordered, back arching off the seat as he slipped in his middle finger, his other hand reaching up to play with her nipple once again. 

“Another- please- I want you to make me feel full” she demanded, whining when he added his ring finger.

“Yes- yesyesyesyes!” she wailed, “My god Carm- those fucking hands do you know how many times I’ve fantasized about your ffffucking hands- oh god- oh shit right there!” she cried out, nodding quickly.

“Don’t stop! Don’t you dare fucking stop, Carm-” she nearly growled. She’d never admit it, but something about him in this intimate context was bringing out a feral minx in her. 

“You gonna finally make me fuckin’ cum, Huh Carmy? How long have you been wanting to do this? Mm? I’d bet- oh- oh!” she felt the familiar heat pooling in her lower back, her toes curling, and feet pointed to the floor as she writhed and squirmed beneath him. 

He smugly chuckled a bit into her throbbing heat, even though he himself was nearly drowning in pleasure as well. The smile was quickly replaced by a pathetic whimper as she tugs his hair, hard enough to make him to look up at her “I wanna touch you” 

He swallowed thickly, offering her his other hand to hold and going back to his assault on her clit, continuing to pump his fingers with an even pace “Mm- C-Carmy- stop” she breathed and he sat up, but she grabbed his hand before he could remove his fingers. 

“You don’t….” she asked, her tone much more casual, but laced with a bit of anxiety “You don’t want me to touch you?’ she questioned.

“No- syd- no…I-” he felt a large rush of embarrassment flood his chest, but didnt dare break her gaze, though, in case it would make her feel insecure. 

“Uh…i’m like - fuckin wired right now, a-and this isn’t my van… y’know? this is a fuckin rental and i’m pretty sure m’gonna explode like… everywhere I’ve already accepted we’re gonna have to stop back at blue so I can change” he rested his flushed sticky cheek on her thigh that was wet with her arousal.

“I don’t have to like- take you out to touch you, come here” she sat up on her elbow, urging him forward with her feet on his back to kiss her. 

His wet lips met hers, an exchange of hot feverish kisses ensuing. She hummed softly at the taste of herself over his saliva, her sticky slick covering his nose and chin being transferred to her face as she wrapped her arm around the back of his neck, pulling him closer. 

He resumed the pace of his fingers once more, curling them in a way that her back arched sharply, a squeak coming out of her throat and hips jerking. He pulled away, resting his forehead on hers as he continued the pace, “tell me c’mon pretty girl - how do you want it? You want it like that?” He curled and uncurled his fingers against that spot and she went quiet, jaw slack in a silent moan

“Mm? Yeah? Is this how I know? Is this how I know I’m givin’ y’what y’need? Mm?” He moved his fingers quicker in to that spot. Her only response was her nails digging into the flesh of his back and dragging down, he hissed at the sting and burn it left, making his pace faster and more relentless. 

Her head dropped back against the window and she gasped out, thighs trembling around his waist. Her mind was fully empty, she let out a strangled “now-fucking Jesus Christ - Carmy- Carm-carmcarm h-holy-ah!” 

He felt her walls fluttering around his fingers wildly, her jaw going slack and hips stuttering and shaking “good girl, that’s it- good fuckin girl” he worked her through her climax, her cum leaking down his wrist to the crook of his elbow 

“Gah- fuck you- m’too sensitive” she squirmed beneath him, looking up at him, “fuck fuck- fuck you fuck you carm don’t stop” she whined, pulling him up to kiss her roughly, her stomach tightening and core clenching around his fingers 

He took his other hand, rubbing her neglected clit with his thumb and nearly fell on top of her when she unbuttoned his jeans, slipping her hand in and slowly stroked over his cock in his boxers “Jesus fucking Christ - w-warn me before you just grab my fucking cock d’you know how long I’ve been waiting” he breathed, trying to keep up the pace with his fingers but his focus was becoming harder and harder to maintain. 

“Sorry…mmm can I please watch you touch yourself?” She asked hotly in the shell of his ear just above a whisper, her hot breath fanning his neck and tickling his jaw 

“W-what?” He stuttered. 

“I want to watch you touch yourself. Didn’t you just say you thought about it?” She asked, gently rubbing her thumb over his sensitive tip and he whimpered 

“Oh my fucking god Sydney” he groaned, taking his fingers out and rubbing them over her clit slowly, causing her thigh to twitch due to her orgasm being so close behind her 

“Please? Only if you want to of course” she said, voice breathy as she gently played with his hair and rested her forehead on his. 

Carmen wanted to say hell no. He wanted to spare himself the embarrassment. He knew he was gonna cum a ridiculous amount. He knew the noises that would accidentally come out of him. But she looked so fucking sweet. Too sweet to deny. 

“Okay…” he whispered, carefully sitting next to her on the bench seat 

“Wait really?” She asked and smiled wide “really? Holy shit. I thought I was gonna have to fight for that one” she sat sideways to have a full view of him 

He shot her a playful glare “do you want me to go back on my word?” He teased, pushing his tshirt up to his chest so he wouldn’t make a mess of it 

“No, no. Please- please continue I’m honored to be attending this show” she teased and put her left leg up on the seat in case she wanted to touch herself while she watched him 

“Well like I said you’re right in front of me and the show may be short” he said, lifting his hips and pulling his jeans down before sitting and pulling his cock out of his boxers with his fist. 

“Holy shit” she sat up a bit in surprise “dude” she covered her mouth, giggling “i knew you were packing but like- a decent pistol not a fuckin magnum.” Carmen laughed 

“my dick is in my hand stop tryna to fuck around do you want me to focus or not?” he asked, but the comment did make his head a little bigger, both egotistically and dick wise. 

“Okay okay sorry. Sorry do your thing” she leaned back once more. She couldn’t help but realize that just as she’d imagined, he has veiny hands, and a veiny neck- his cock was veiny as well. There was a pulsing vein that ran from the base of his balls up his thick shaft just to the middle, she wanted to lean forward and lick her tongue up feeling it pulse beneath her tastebuds 

It literally made Carmen’s large hands look normal, or even small. He pumped his length slow at first, before spitting in his hand and continuing, his breathing getting quicker and head falling back. He let out small little moans and whimpers that were driving Sydney insane. Her pussy was quite actually throbbing. 

“Y’re so fucking hot- shit” he grunted, tightening his grip, his breathing getting more rapid and sharp “every- ah mmm shit - every fucking time I jack off- I think about how fucking good it’ll feel to- fuckin- god” he moaned “cum in your fucking pussy. I fuckin need it.” He rasped “so- so close. I’m so fucking close. Can I cum? Y’want me T’cum right?” he whined. 

Sydney couldn’t take it anymore - literally could. Not. Stand. To just sit there and watch him whine and writhe in front of her, and not offer to help him. “Can I taste you?” She asked, an even just hearing her say that- With a pathetic cry and whimper, he was shooting ribbon after ribbon of white thick cum over his stomach an abs, his head thrown back in bliss and hips rutting into his hand. There were stripes of white covering over his near entire torso, on his hips, stomach, abs, ribs, to just below his sternum. Cum also leaked down his hand and a few droplets dripped onto his wrist. 

“Fuck. Fuckin hell” he muttered, annoyed with the mess he’d made. Sydney stared in absolute awe. 

“Dude- do you need a doctor?” She teased leaning forward and licking a stripe from his navel to his sternum and he just watched, slack jawed as she made sure he saw her tongue was coated in his seed before swallowing and licking off another stripe. 

“I think I just fuckin died for a sec and came back- wait what the fuck” he muttered as she zigzagged her tongue over his abs 

“Why? I’m helping you clean up. You did warn about the mess” she stopped, tonguing over his nipple and he gasped lightly, his cock twitching at the action which made her smile teasingly. 

“Jesus you are fuckin evil” he chuckled, watching as she finished the job. 

“Your cum isn’t as salty as I expected. They must be feeding you well” she found her panties and slipped them on, plopping back next to him casually 

“Oh wow-“ he chuckled “so what did you think of me be-“ he’s cut off by Shayna flinging the door open. 

Syd screams flinging herself over Carmy’s lap to cover him meanwhile Carm does everything he can to cover Syd’s thong clad ass  “Sorry lovebirds we got a call - Carm, they found bud in my room we have to get back”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋘ 𝐖𝐈𝐏 ♡♡♡ ⋙

[rizzstappen]

College Au, I agree that you def should write it 👀👀

Ahh okay I’ve been tinkering with this for a bit! Thank you for this ask Danni!!

This is my first time writing for Maxiel and first time writing rpf in years so please be easy on me 😭 but of course feedback and any questions are welcome!! Inspired by this picture and the tags!!

Sorry for any mistakes! But I don’t think I can look or edit this anymore without going insane 🤪 enjoy!!!

Maxiel College AU where it’s a special day during junior year!

—

“C’mon one more DR!” Blake shouted from across the tennis court. The Austin sun beating down on them making the already humid day feel worse than it actually was.

“Yeah, nah mate,” Daniel called back as the three men walked toward the net where they had set their backpacks down to get in a quick tennis match. “Max is waiting for me. I promised I’d be back on time. He says it’s a special day.”

Daniel had been thinking all day about it.

Before leaving for class Max had whispered to Daniel something about a special day. In his sleepy haze all the Aussie could do was hum and try to pull his boyfriend back into the warm duvet covers away from the busy campus outside their window.

Every morning was a routine once the semester began. Max woke at 7 am for his 8 am lecture. Showered. Got dressed. Kissed Daniel before he headed out the door. Daniel, of course, didn’t have class until 1:30. He liked sleeping in and staying up late. Plus he worked at the local bar which meant late night shifts. Max didn’t mind it. They always made sure to leave the afternoons free around dinner time so they could catch up on the day before Max went to play FIFA or do homework and Daniel went to work.

“He said that? You don’t know what the special day is?” Scotty asked with a slight scoff knowing if he forgot a date Chloe would have his head.

Daniel rolled his eyes sliding his backpack onto his shoulders and hiding his sweaty curls under a black and green hat “no he didn’t say what it was. If I ask he might kill me so I’m off to get some flowers on my way home” he nodded hopping the day would reveal itself when he walked in the door.

After saying bye to Blake and Scotty, Daniel headed out to the local flower shop. It was small with a French exchange student behind the counter who flirted way too much with Max in his opinion. The green eyed student recommended a bouquet of roses. Cliche.

Instead Daniel opted for an assortment of red, yellow and white tulips. Like the ones Max spoke about from his home country. Daniel liked to get flowers often wanting to give Max a little piece of home since he couldn’t travel back to Holland often.

The jingle of his key alerted the cats of Daniel’s return to the small apartment. Once inside the cats curled around his ankles and purred against his leg welcoming him back. Daniel leaned down scratching both Jimmy and Sassy behind their ears with whispered ‘hey guys, where’s dad?’ He toed off his shoes by the door before walking towards the living room. Max wasn’t in his usual spot on the worn leather couch Daniel had practically begged Max to bring back after they found it on the side of the road last year.

“Hello?” He called out the crinkle of the cellophane echoing around the tulips in Daniel’s hand.

“Shit” Max’s quiet voice echoed coming from the kitchen. Daniel made his way over seeing Max fussing over…something? His broad shoulders hunched down pulling at the fabric of his black polo that were tucked into his jeans being held up by a black belt.

Max turned holding a tray in his hands with what should’ve been a cake. The white frosting and vanilla bread had clearly turned into a crumbly mess.

“It’s supposed to be a cake, of course, but I think I took the bread out too soon and it was too hot. Of course I just wanted it to be decorated before you got back-“ Max rambled. A grin spread on Daniels lips “a cake for this special day?” He asked trying to real more information out of his boyfriend about this mystery day.

Max raised an eyebrow and nodded “of course why wouldn’t there be a cake?” He says.

Cake. Birthday? No. Anniversary? No. Daniel still couldn’t wrack his brain about what this special day might be.

Max smirked at his boyfriend as he sets the tray down on the linoleum lined kitchen counter “you have no idea what today is huh?”

Shit. He was caught. Max could read him like a book but Daniel wouldn’t admit it of course. “What?! Of course I know what today is. I got you flowers. Tulips” he grinned handing over the bouquet.

Max inspects the flowers. Not as good as the ones from his hometown but he knew it was the thought that counted. Max looked his boyfriend in the eyes a grin on his lips as he speaks “then what is today?”

Daniel looks back for a moment. What other possible date would be important enough for a cake?

A laugh bubbles up from Max “you don’t even know!” he smirked happily moving to get a vase filled with water for his flowers. “Daniel it’s the day we met in class” he spoke over the water running into the green vase “three years ago, of course” he nodded shutting the water off and sliding the flowers into the water before setting them down “it’s called a meet cute. I think” he said before he gestured to the cake sat on the counter “that’s what Victoria called it. She said it would be cute to celebrate it.”

The words ‘happy 3 year meet cute’ scrawled out in red icing against the white frosting in Max’s handwriting

Daniel was stunned.

3 years. He couldn’t believe 3 years had flown by. He remembered walking into his Horticulture 120 lecture and the only spot left was next to Max at the front row. He was sure he’d drop the class. It was an elective after all. But then he turned and saw Max’s eyes. Blue. Like the Maldives. In that moment Daniel knew he had to stay. So he did and clumsily introduced himself. His braces giving him a slight lisp. But it was the best thing he had done. Now he had an apartment and two cats with that same boy. And they were celebrating meeting 3 year later.

Daniel gives his boyfriend a soft look before his own laughter filled the space between them “oh Maxy” he said “that’s adorable really. Thank you” he says admiring the icing work he had attempted winning his finger into the white frosting and licking it off his finger.

“Happy three year meet cute anniversary” he said leaning in kissing Max’s blushing cheeks.

Max smiled turning to look at his boyfriend “happy three year meet cute anniversary” he whispered before planting a kiss on Daniel lips.

[waltricia]

Accidentally wrote another casual essay. If you like thinking about what words mean, this might be of interest. Otherwise, feel free to ignore. It’s mostly just for me. It’s an analysis of a single phrase. And, ultimately, an appreciation of Chris Van Dusen and his team.

Ever since the Bridgerton S3 trailer dropped, I’ve been thinking on and off (currently on) about candles, so I can’t help but notice them in my rewatch. This time, I got stuck on a quote by Portia, which she says in 2x01 at the conservatory ball, “Darkness has been our candle in recent months.” First of all, I’m not taking this very seriously- we’re not meant to- this is a comical scene and she is faking grief in this moment. But I can’t help but try to figure out what this phrase means. I mean, I know what it means- like I said, she’s faking her grief- but how did we get there? Why does it mean that? D’ya know what I mean? Darkness has been our candle. I guess, given the context, I assume the message she’s trying to convey to the Finch’s is that there hasn’t been any light/ happiness in their lives. It’s just been dark/ sad.

But I had a thought- when you refer to something as your candle, you wouldn’t be talking about an unlit candle, right? Because what use is a candle if it’s not lit? The only time a candle is doing something is when it’s burning. So if you’re saying something is your candle, you’re talking about a lit candle. And a lit candle means light and happiness (and attraction in certain other circumstances 😉). So when you say “darkness has been our candle,” aren’t you implying that the darkness has been good?

Ok, so I think I actually really love this line. Because I’m no fan of the late Lord Featherington. He really only ever came across to me as a shit dad and a shit husband. The only time I had any appreciation for him was during 1x01 when he was neglectful enough to not notice or care what Penelope wore to the Vauxhall Ball, which allowed her to dress how she wanted (and everyone knows that was her best look of season 1). So I kinda feel like there could be a bit of intentionality in that phrasing such that the hidden meaning of what Portia is saying is that there was possibly a bit of relief in his absence? 😬 Maybe?

Or at least that the shroud of mourning has been a relief. This would actually make sense because it circles back to the fact that she was faking her grief. She was using it as a stalling tactic. So maybe possibly, the surface meaning is that basically they’ve been grieving, but the secondary meaning, the one meant for the audience, like an inside joke, is that the mourning period has been a blessing and the very thing keeping them afloat.

Am I on to something? If so, that is some pretty clever writing. This show is so surprisingly layered.

It’s also possible this whole analysis makes no sense. Did I just ramble for no reason? If so, I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t tag this… but I’m going to, just in case anyone out there is as insane about this shit as I am.

[mack-devereaux]

I’ve loved you this whole time.

Part 2

Nico Hischier x Y/N

Part 1 has been posted for about a month I think. Sorry to those I made wait, I had a hard time figuring out where I wanted this one to go. This part does contain smut, there’s not a ton of detail but please only 18+. As of right now I don’t plan on making a third part but who knows.

Picture is from Pinterest

Enjoy 😊

~~~~~

Y/n was out of breath as she was moving a box of books across her store. She had just gotten a bunch of new signed books in and she needed to rearrange the store. The bell chimed and she looked towards the entrance to see Nico coming in with a cup of coffee.

“Oh my gosh you’re the best” she smiled at him.

“I figured you needed a little pick me up, now what should we do next?” Nico asked.

“I need all those boxes over here” y/n stood with her arms crossed looking at the piles upon piles of books. Nico let out a long breath, not entirely sure how someone so little could have torn apart an entire store in less than 20 minutes since he went to go get coffee.

“How about we put all these away first, although I do admire your motivation” Nico said steering y/n away from the massive pile of boxes. He was right, she was getting too ahead of herself. As she was sorting the books she looked over to Nico who was putting together more shelves. As he was reaching over his head his shirt rode up a bit and she found herself losing track of what she was supposed to be doing. How was it humanly possible to look like that she thought to herself. He looked like Adonis himself. A book slipped out of her hands and dropped to the floor with a loud thud and she snapped back into reality.

“You ok?” Nico smirked, he caught her, a while ago, she was zoned out for a good two minutes before she realized she was distracted.

“Yep I’m good” she turned around immediately and walked to her desk. Embarrassment flooded her features. Taking a drink of her coffee she felt arms wrap around her middle, he whispered in her ear “you know we’ve been seeing each other for a while, it’s ok to admit you’re insanely attracted to me.”

“Oh my god Nico!” She pushed him away laughing.

Pulling her back he pressed a soft kiss to her lips, she relaxed into him. He pulled away and pressed another kiss to her forehead. He walked back to the shelves he was supposed to be working on, and she went back to stacking books on to the shelves that were already up.

Nicos phone started ringing on the desk, he glanced over at y/n, “would you mind answering that for me love.”

“Sure” she smiled at him, walking over to grab his phone she looked at the contact, “it’s your child calling you.” Nico laughed as she answered “hey Jack”.

“Y/n? Is this y/n? Like the actual y/n” Jack asked.

“Uh” she glanced at nico “yes?” Y/n put the phone on speaker not really knowing where this was going. Nico stopped what he was doing, knowing Jack was up to something. From the stories Nico had told her Jack was quite the character. He called and texted often, she was glad he had close friends on the team who missed him.

“Oh my gosh finally. You have no idea how much he talks about you. Y/n this. Y/n that. Don’t get me wrong I’m sure you’re a wonderful person, you’d have to be if Nico liked you-“

“Ok Jack that’s enough what do you need” Nico had said kinda embarrassed by Jacks rambling.

“Umm hi Nico I missed you too” Jack scoffed. Nico rolled his eyes and y/n giggled, “I just wanted to say hi, and see if you had asked her yet out but clearly you have so I’m just seeing how my best friend is doing. Also y/n do you sell those smutty books in your store? You should give one to Nico he could use the info from them I’m sure”.

“Goodbye Jack” Nico said as he hung up the phone.

“Well he is quite the character” y/n said after a moment.

“Yes he is” Nico sighed. Y/n started giggling and then Nico did too.

“Well I do have some smutty books” y/n stated looking up at Nico.

“I’m fully aware y/n don’t start that” Nico said as he realized she was teasing him as well. After deciding she had teased him enough she went back to organizing and he went to finish the shelves.

A few hours had passed and they had finally put the little shop back together. She fell into his side and hugged him “thank you for helping me today, I really do appreciate you” she said grinning up at him.

“It was nothing y/n I’m just glad I got to hang out with you today” he shrugged.

“Ready for movie night then” she asked.

“Absolutely I am.”

~~~~~

Nico sighed at the relentless buzzing of his phone.

From: Jack

Did you make a move yet?

Have you slept with her?

Have you even kissed her?

You’re losing daylight man.

To: Jack

Oh my god Jack leave me alone.

That sounded hostile, I’m sorry.

Obviously I’ve kissed her.

But seriously quit texting me.

From: Jack

Ok rude.

To: Jack

I said I was sorry.

From: Jack

Omg are you with her still?

From: Dawson

MAKE A MOVE MY MAN

To: Dawson

Ugh not you too.

~~~~~

“Is everything ok?” Y/n giggled.

“Yes, my children keep bothering me, I’m sorry love.” Nico tossed his phone off to the side after silencing it.

“Jack is funny” y/n said snuggling into Nico as they both sat on the couch in her apartment.

“I’m glad someone thinks so, remind me to never introduce him to you, he’ll scare you off I think” Nico said as he scrolled through the tv to find a movie to watch.

“Don’t be dramatic” y/n rolled her eyes at him.

Nico finally settled on a movie and they watched it in silence, well he watched it. Y/n had maneuvered herself to where she could stare at Nico without being too obvious. He truly was just a beautiful human. If someone had told her a few months ago that he would be helping her in her shop and they would be going on cute dates and spending every waking moment together she would have laughed in their face. Six whole years she had admired him, and in the short time they had spent together she was a goner. She had fallen in love with him so easily. She had fallen in love with the way he talked, with the way he cared so easily for everyone and everything.

In one short moment he had made eye contact with her, and he could feel himself falling even more, if that was at all possible.

“Have you been watching the movie love?”

“No, I’m watching you” she blushed.

He tipped her face up to his as kissed her lightly. It was soft but full of love. He began to lay down on the couch and pulled her on top of him. As the kissing got a little more intense she ground her hips into his, lightly at first to see his reaction.

“Love be careful, at the rate we are going I don’t think I can stop” Nico said softly “Im trying to be a gentleman.”

“Nico” she looked into his eyes, “I don’t want you to be a gentleman.”

Almost instantly he flipped her over to where he was hovering over her.

“Are you sure” he stared into her eyes.

“Yes.”

He kissed her again, clothing was removed, the only sound that could be heard was soft moans and the noise from the tv. He moved his lips to her neck and down her chest, nipping and kissing as he went. He made eye contact as he kissed her stomach. Going a bit lower to where she needed him most, “Nico please” she moaned. He settled between her legs and removed her lace underwear. “You’re so beautiful love” he spoke. He worked his tongue on her clit, moving his fingers in and out of her as her breathing got heavier. Her hands went into his hair as her first orgasm crashed over her. His lips immediately started placing kisses back up her body as he made his way up to her face again. Her skin was so soft. Why hadn’t he made a move before. She was incredible. He settled his hips back on to hers, his hard on pressing into her. After kissing her for another few seconds he removed his boxers and lined himself up with her center and pushed himself in. He kissed her hard as she gasped at the pressure she felt in between her legs. Her nails scratched down his back, he lifted her legs to wrap around his hips as he rolled them into her. Each thrust had him more breathless than the last. As their orgasms crashed over the both of them he collapsed on top of her, they laid there for a few minutes, just enjoying the afterglow of what had just occurred between them. Her hands playing with the hair on the back of his neck and almost put him to sleep.

“Are you ok?” Nico asked as he looked into her eyes.

“Yes, that was perfect” she said. He pulled up one of the throw blankets and laid it on top of them as they maneuvered themselves to a comfier cuddling position. Her head on his chest and his arms wrapped around her.

“Nico?” Y/n had asked quietly. He almost didn’t hear her.

“Yes love” he picked his head up and looked into those beautiful eyes.

“When you leave for Jersey-“

“No,” He cut her off with a kiss, honestly he didn’t want to think about leaving. It broke his heart, he just got the girl, and he had to leave in a few weeks again.

“We will make it work, I promise. I will figure out a way to make us work. I just got you, and I refuse to lose you.”

[maryfailstowrite]

Do you want to know who one of my favorite DRA characters is???? do you??? no, you don’t, but I’m telling you either way: it’s Kinji Uehara. Here’s why.

(obviously, spoilers for DRA ahead, so…. beware :))

So, to me, Uehara is an intriguing character from the start. When you hear the title “Ultimate Priest”, it makes you imagine a loud guy who is going to ramble on and on about God and religion and accepting Jesus Christ into your heart and all that… but you’re met with a quiet man that explicitly tells you that he doesn’t force his faith onto others. Even Yuki is a bit surprised, and this brief conversation leaves you wanting to find out more about him…

And oh man, do we find out more.

I think his first shining moment is in chapter two. When Kinjo is trying to start his dictatorship- I mean cult- Sorry, when Kinjo is trying to establish himself as leader of the group, and says that whoever doesn’t agree with his conditions must get out and will be seen as a preliminary criminal from now on. We see Mekaru get out and tell Kinjo he’s insane, which is a power move, by the way, but expected from her. This is Rei Mekaru we’re talking about, after all. She ain’t taking no one’s bullshit. Then Kizuna gets out (not without yelling and crying a bit before, of course), which was also expected given her mental state at the moment… And then there’s Uehara. He literally just gets up and leaves, and only explains himself because Inori asks him to.

So far, Uehara has been a pretty tame person. He got along with everyone, helped at the trial, and overall, he had never gone against anyone. But now he opposes himself (or, rather, Kinjo opposes the both groups against each other, but that’s another tale) against the main group of students, and decides, for some unknown reason to everyone, that being seen as a potential murderer is better than having to follow Kinjo’s rules.

His response to being asked why he’s leaving? This:

Then he walks out. Just like that.

Obviously, the Ultimate Priest would be a pretty moral-driven person, right? He’s supposed to be a spiritual leader, after all.

The first interpretation of this we make is that associating with Kinjo and following his orders would eventually make Uehara do something that goes against his moral compass. Even if Kinjo tries to make himself seem reasonable and reliable, it’s pretty damn obvious he’s not after the first trial. We know that he has a pretty black and white view on criminality, as far as thinking that all murderers (no matter their motive, circumstances, etc.) should die, a moral view that is a stark contrast to the Christian concepts of mercy and forgiveness. Concepts Uehara, as a priest, would base his world view on.

Kinjo and Uehara are basically opposites, morality wise. Kinjo would do anything (and in his case, it really is anything) to maintain the order he believes the world (in this context, the school and his classmates) should follow, and he’d go to any lengths to make sure justice finds every person he sees as ‘bad’, no matter how drastic or dark anyone else thinks his methods are. Uehara, on his end, doesn’t hold any grudges against any of the students that stopped talking to him after he left Kinjo’s group, and he doesn’t even hold a grudge against Kinjo, who is the whole reason why he’s been ostracized from his classmates. He still collaborates with the investigations and in the trials, and there’s nothing that points to him being mad at anyone for basically leaving him to his own luck in a killing game. He believes in and practices the mercy and forgiveness he’s been taught to have as a priest…

Or does he, though?

(Note: There is another interpretation to his response after being asked why he’s leaving. But we need to know what happens after chapter two to make it, so we’ll get to it later.)

Now, chapter three is his chapter. It’s his last chapter alive, and here’s where we get a more deep dive into him. But we can’t talk about any of this without talking about the murder itself, so… let’s get that out of the way.

The third murder case is incredibly gruesome (or at least it was for me), especially Inori’s death. You can hear her screaming for help inside the lab minutes before you open the door and find her tied up and burnt to death. It looks like an excessively cruel murder, especially considering there was no real reason to kill her in such a painful way. She was one of the weakest, if not the weakest character in the cast (physically speaking, of course), and she wouldn’t have shown much resistance if simply attacked (especially against someone like Uehara, who is double her size).

Plus, aside from Inori and Yamaguchi, two other people were attacked. Kinjo was left unconscious on the library floor, and Mekaru was taken out with chloroform and shoved into a locker. It feels unnecessary, and like attacking more people means the possibility of leaving more clues behind… but we’ll get to that later, so hang on for a moment.

Now, personally, after the victim reveals, I was conflicted. I had gotten spoiled, so I already knew who the killer was… and I was in denial about it. I wondered what could’ve driven Uehara to commit such a cruel and almost sadistic crime, and I was a bit scared they would pull the ‘oh my god, this character that seemed calm and collected up until this point is actually super insane and a cold-blooded murderer’ thing the original Danganronpa always does in chapter 3. In this aspect, I was pleasantly surprised.

Uehara being the traitor is a super surprising reveal. Even after ‘solving’ the murder case and voting correctly, it had never crossed anyone’s mind that Uehara was the traitor. Yet, that was exactly why the murders even happened in the first place. The motive video they had been given only existed to give Uehara instructions: If he killed now, the children Monokuma had kidnapped from Uehara’s cathedral would be freed, and if he didn’t get caught, he’d get to see them after getting out.

Of course, Uehara complied. Those kids were very dear to him. And we discover that originally, Uehara’s plan was far less gruesome: He kidnapped Inori from the infirmary and killed her with the spear while she was passed out (I assume he used the chloroform on her too, since she’s passed out when Yamaguchi finds her). But Yamaguchi’s appearance throws his whole plan away, and, as we see in the trial… Uehara breaks down easily under pressure. In other words, he panicked.

I think this is pretty important to understand why he did what he did. He never intended to kill anyone if it hadn’t been because Monokuma coerced him to, much less in such a horrible way. But after killing Yamaguchi “on accident” (wasn’t an accident, but it wasn’t his original plan), he probably started panicking and tried to bullshit his way out of it. He knew he couldn’t just let Inori go, because she’d immediately know he was the one that killed Yamaguchi. Even if she was passed out as he tried to save her, if a guy tried to kidnap you and someone else appeared dead a few hours later… it would be pretty suspicious. Plus, her coat was drenched in his blood, so… yeah, no way she wouldn’t put 2 and 2 together. So, Uehara started putting together a new plan with the first things he saw on the way. He had the phone on him, so his mind probably went there first, and then he started making up the rest of it from there.

Don’t take this as me trying to excuse his actions, though. Even if we think he didn’t realize just how painful his method was when he planned it, he still fucking electrocuted someone alive, which is horrible. He could’ve let Inori go and let her know he was the culprit, sacrificing himself, because the children would’ve still been released. He still had that selfishness in him to want to survive. But I think that imagining him making up a new plan on the way in a panicked state makes it easier to understand why he did things that seem completely unnecessary. And since we already know he’s not good under pressure because of the trial… I don’t think it’s hard to imagine him like that. He most likely acted on the first ideas he had using things he already had on him (the phone for Inori, the chloroform with Mekaru) or the first things he found, and that’s why his plan is so messy. Why did he drag Yamaguchi to the library when he could’ve just left him in the art room’s locker? To leave him next to Kinjo? He wanted to pin the murder on the guy that believes all murderers should die? While said guy was unconscious? Or was it just to confuse everyone and make them think the murders happened at the same time? And why did he shove Mekaru in the locker with the dried blood? That was basically leading the cast to an important clue. Why did he leave Inori’s coat in the art room’s trash? Knowing that they would investigate there, since that’s where they found Mekaru?

Like I said, the more murders/attacks, the more clues you potentially leave behind. And if we take into consideration that he was acting on the go, and that he didn’t have much time to cover up what he was doing (because he did a ton of shit)… It was impossible for him to get away with it. He probably knew this, but he held onto the hope that perhaps he’d be able to survive, and that’s why he breaks down when he realizes he’s cornered in the trial. But when he realizes that he’s been caught, he calms down because… at least the children are safe, right? Right?

One of the most heartbreaking moments in this chapter is the reveal that the children are, in fact, far from safe. Before killing Uehara, Monokuma shows him (and the whole cast) a video of the children’s dead, decomposing bodies, driving Uehara into a state of shock he dies in. I think this is a great way to make the cast’s fear and hate for the mastermind grow, but I feel like it’s also there to make a point. Uehara tried killing his classmates so that the kids could survive. He tried to choose by himself who lived and who died, and in the end, it only caused more deaths. This situation brings a pretty interesting debate to the table, and a pretty important one for the development of the game too.

And that’s what makes this case different from your usual chapter three double murder. The murders didn’t feel pointless. In the original Danganronpa series, it felt to me like some of the murders were just… there. Especially the third cases. They didn’t help develop anyone’s character, they didn’t help advance the overall plot, they just happened. For example, the third case of Trigger Happy Havoc. Celestia goes from being the “Queen of Liars”, a calm and collected woman that maintained her cool even when faced with the deaths of her classmates… to a horrible liar that was caught in, like, 5 seconds. Not to mention, her motive was money. Sure, I can perhaps sympathize with the fact that she wanted to make her dream come true with that money… but as the Ultimate Gambler, she could’ve won that money after getting out of the killing game. It isn’t a particularly strong motive, and it doesn’t make Celestia’s character better or more interesting. The reveal that Celestia was actually Taeko Yasuhiro is probably the most interesting part of this chapter, but we probably didn’t need two murders to happen to make that reveal, did we? Plus, she dies like, half an hour later, so it’s not like that reveal served for much. The deaths of Hifumi, Taka and Celestia don’t particularly develop anyone’s character, and they don’t push forward the overall plot either. They get rid of characters they didn’t want surviving, and that’s about it.

But DRA chapter three didn’t feel like that. And I think the main reason for this is, surprisingly enough, Kinjo.

The third trial is the start of Kinjo’s downfall. Like I’ve already stated before, Kinjo and Uehara are opposites when it comes to morality, so I believe it could only be him who pointed out Kinjo’s issues. And he does it in the only way Kinjo would listen to him: Using Kinjo’s arguments to support his own actions (and the murder he committed).

When Kinjo is going on and on about Uehara being a serial killer (which isn’t factually correct by the way, but sure, Mr. Cop), Uehara tells him that it’s strange Kinjo is showing such strong opposition to him and his actions when they were both using the same logic. Of course, Kinjo is a bit taken back by this, and asks Uehara to explain…

Uehara then responds with this:

He quotes Kinjo. He’s not only using the cop’s logic against him, no, he’s using the same phrase Kinjo used to defend himself and his actions to defend his crime.

After this, Uehara elaborates further: He explains that he sacrificed the lives of the fifteen students for the lives of 100 children. He just chose to save the most people, even if a few lives were lost in the way… Doesn’t that remind us of someone?

Kinjo deliberately chose to put a few people in danger for a chance at saving a higher number of them. He didn’t directly kill anyone, sure, but he wouldn’t have cared if they were killed. Kinjo protected everyone else and left the ones that didn’t agree with him to die, because he thought that was the way in which the most people would survive.

Uehara knows he wasn’t in the right. He knows murder is still an awful act, no matter what the reason was, and that he’ll have to pay for it in the afterlife. But Kinjo doesn’t. Kinjo thinks picking and choosing who survives and who doesn’t is the right thing to do. That’s what Uehara wants him to realize: That the reasoning that drove him to kill is the reasoning Kinjo was using as a leader, and that it would only drive Kinjo down the same path Uehara was dying in: a path of blood-stained hands, a path of guilt, and a path of death.

No one can play God. Not even the Ultimate Priest.

And Kinjo actually reconsiders his stance after the trial (and after everyone turns against him). Even if it was a dead end, because Kinjo ended up just standing stronger on what he believed in until the fourth trial, it makes him wonder about his actions, and it foreshadows what happens in chapter four. It lets us see that Kinjo doesn’t stand as strong and he seems, and that his views are bound to fall apart sooner or later.

Uehara and his murder case develop Kinjo’s character. He’s quiet after Uehara asks him to reconsider his stance so far (which is a lot, considering how much he bitched every time a murderer was found guilty), and he even asks Yuki if he’s wrong the next day. The trial, and especially the conversation with Yuki that it triggers later, helps us see Kinjo as a man who’s been put under too much pressure for too much time. A man that has been trying to protect everyone around him his whole life, but that had a completely wrong approach to it. Instead of the crazy bitch we see him as the whole time, we get closer to the actual person Kinjo is, not the leader he makes himself to be.

Of course, one could argue that having him just break down in chapter four would’ve led to the same series of events (aka him trying to kill himself, and therefore remembering everything and triggering the plot for the rest of the game), but… it wouldn’t have felt the same. If Kinjo had fainted in the fourth trial, then killed himself the next day, it would’ve just left us with a sense of helplessness. It would’ve felt like something that was bound to happen, because no one could’ve helped Kinjo… and that’s what case three brings to the table. Kinjo could’ve been helped. Uehara helps him question his actions, and if only Yuki had pushed Kinjo in the right direction when he opened up to him, perhaps we could’ve seen a much different Kinjo for the rest of the game. But that doesn’t happen. Case three makes us see Kinjo waver and falter, and it foreshadows what happens later on: it lets us know that Kinjo’s confidence wouldn’t last forever, and that he was going to break sooner or later. And it also adds to Yuki’s sense of despair when he sees Kinjo shoot himself in front of everyone: he knows it didn’t have to happen like that. He knows he could’ve helped, he knows he had the chance to, but he wasn’t capable to step up when Kinjo needed him. It makes the scene feel a lot different, and I really like what chapter three adds to the further development of the game.

But when has this turned to be about Kinjo, huh?! This post is about Uehara, so let me get back to him now. Remember the note I left after talking about chapter two? That there could be another interpretation to what he tells everyone when he leaves the group protected by Kinjo, but that we needed to know what happened in chapter three to talk about it? Yeah, let’s talk about it now.

“I always act in the way I believe is right”. We can still interpret this as him refusing to work under Kinjo’s leadership, since it would be a direct betrayal to his core values as a priest. But knowing now that he’s the traitor, it makes me think that perhaps it wasn’t so much about him not wanting to work with Kinjo as a leader, but rather about him wanting to distance himself from his classmates. I think that “doing what the believes is right” could mean causing the least harm he could to his classmates, and distancing himself from them was the only way he had to do that. Knowing he was the traitor would hurt much less if he didn’t get along with anyone in the first place, right?

We get to know the person Uehara is before the death game, even if briefly, from the flashbacks Yuki has in chapter six. We know he tried to think of the well-being of his classmates. We know he was the one that lead Inori and Yamaguchi to the warehouse while the Monokumas attacked the Kisaragi Laboratory in an attempt to protect them, and we know that even if he had a hard time adapting to a class environment when he first entered Hope’s Peak, he formed a bond with Yamaguchi because “he is a more warm-hearted man than any of them”. When one of the Monokumas enters the warehouse, and Yamaguchi holds him so that Inori and Uehara can escape, Uehara tells him that he’ll come back for him. And even in the killing game, we get to know him as a gentle-natured person, and we see just how deeply he cared about the kids he took care of at the cathedral (to the point of becoming completely numb when he finds out they’re dead). Even when he tried to kill, his original plan was to make the least harm possible… but that went horribly wrong, so not like it counts too much (again, I’m not trying to excuse his actions or take any responsibility from him, that murder was fucking awful). He was going to betray everyone sooner or later, sure, but I can imagine him trying to do it in the least harmful way he could. He was forced into a position where he had to do that to cause minimal damage, after all.

Uehara goes from being a quiet person that doesn’t seem like he’ll do much for the plot, to one of the most interesting (and important, in my opinion) characters in the narrative. DRA excels at creating characters with many layers, characters that feel human. There are few characters that can be considered a hundred percent good or bad, because… that’s not how humans work. It plays with the roles you expect the characters to have, it plays with your expectations, and it still allows room for a lot of interpretations of its characters and events (which is something I love in all pieces of media). And isn’t this the beauty of it? The humanity of media? Being able to see and reflect completely different ideas from the same content? In the end, all this doesn’t matter. I could write a whole book of interpretations and theories for the game, and it wouldn’t matter. What matters is that there is room for different interpretations, and that they all together build an independent and unrepeatable experience for the player. So, if there’s something you have to take from all this… enjoy your games. Write about them. Analyze them. Draw fanarts. Make AU’s. Cosplay. I don’t care how good or bad you’re at it, enjoy your favorite pieces of media to their fullest. Allow them to make you think. That’s the only thing that matters, after all. And that’s why I’m writing all this.

Oh, and also, love Kinji Uehara. That’s, like, super super important too. God bless you all, and see you next time.