#max does computer science

[rizzstappen]

College Au, I agree that you def should write it 👀👀

Ahh okay I’ve been tinkering with this for a bit! Thank you for this ask Danni!!

This is my first time writing for Maxiel and first time writing rpf in years so please be easy on me 😭 but of course feedback and any questions are welcome!! Inspired by this picture and the tags!!

Sorry for any mistakes! But I don’t think I can look or edit this anymore without going insane 🤪 enjoy!!!

Maxiel College AU where it’s a special day during junior year!

—

“C’mon one more DR!” Blake shouted from across the tennis court. The Austin sun beating down on them making the already humid day feel worse than it actually was.

“Yeah, nah mate,” Daniel called back as the three men walked toward the net where they had set their backpacks down to get in a quick tennis match. “Max is waiting for me. I promised I’d be back on time. He says it’s a special day.”

Daniel had been thinking all day about it.

Before leaving for class Max had whispered to Daniel something about a special day. In his sleepy haze all the Aussie could do was hum and try to pull his boyfriend back into the warm duvet covers away from the busy campus outside their window.

Every morning was a routine once the semester began. Max woke at 7 am for his 8 am lecture. Showered. Got dressed. Kissed Daniel before he headed out the door. Daniel, of course, didn’t have class until 1:30. He liked sleeping in and staying up late. Plus he worked at the local bar which meant late night shifts. Max didn’t mind it. They always made sure to leave the afternoons free around dinner time so they could catch up on the day before Max went to play FIFA or do homework and Daniel went to work.

“He said that? You don’t know what the special day is?” Scotty asked with a slight scoff knowing if he forgot a date Chloe would have his head.

Daniel rolled his eyes sliding his backpack onto his shoulders and hiding his sweaty curls under a black and green hat “no he didn’t say what it was. If I ask he might kill me so I’m off to get some flowers on my way home” he nodded hopping the day would reveal itself when he walked in the door.

After saying bye to Blake and Scotty, Daniel headed out to the local flower shop. It was small with a French exchange student behind the counter who flirted way too much with Max in his opinion. The green eyed student recommended a bouquet of roses. Cliche.

Instead Daniel opted for an assortment of red, yellow and white tulips. Like the ones Max spoke about from his home country. Daniel liked to get flowers often wanting to give Max a little piece of home since he couldn’t travel back to Holland often.

The jingle of his key alerted the cats of Daniel’s return to the small apartment. Once inside the cats curled around his ankles and purred against his leg welcoming him back. Daniel leaned down scratching both Jimmy and Sassy behind their ears with whispered ‘hey guys, where’s dad?’ He toed off his shoes by the door before walking towards the living room. Max wasn’t in his usual spot on the worn leather couch Daniel had practically begged Max to bring back after they found it on the side of the road last year.

“Hello?” He called out the crinkle of the cellophane echoing around the tulips in Daniel’s hand.

“Shit” Max’s quiet voice echoed coming from the kitchen. Daniel made his way over seeing Max fussing over…something? His broad shoulders hunched down pulling at the fabric of his black polo that were tucked into his jeans being held up by a black belt.

Max turned holding a tray in his hands with what should’ve been a cake. The white frosting and vanilla bread had clearly turned into a crumbly mess.

“It’s supposed to be a cake, of course, but I think I took the bread out too soon and it was too hot. Of course I just wanted it to be decorated before you got back-“ Max rambled. A grin spread on Daniels lips “a cake for this special day?” He asked trying to real more information out of his boyfriend about this mystery day.

Max raised an eyebrow and nodded “of course why wouldn’t there be a cake?” He says.

Cake. Birthday? No. Anniversary? No. Daniel still couldn’t wrack his brain about what this special day might be.

Max smirked at his boyfriend as he sets the tray down on the linoleum lined kitchen counter “you have no idea what today is huh?”

Shit. He was caught. Max could read him like a book but Daniel wouldn’t admit it of course. “What?! Of course I know what today is. I got you flowers. Tulips” he grinned handing over the bouquet.

Max inspects the flowers. Not as good as the ones from his hometown but he knew it was the thought that counted. Max looked his boyfriend in the eyes a grin on his lips as he speaks “then what is today?”

Daniel looks back for a moment. What other possible date would be important enough for a cake?

A laugh bubbles up from Max “you don’t even know!” he smirked happily moving to get a vase filled with water for his flowers. “Daniel it’s the day we met in class” he spoke over the water running into the green vase “three years ago, of course” he nodded shutting the water off and sliding the flowers into the water before setting them down “it’s called a meet cute. I think” he said before he gestured to the cake sat on the counter “that’s what Victoria called it. She said it would be cute to celebrate it.”

The words ‘happy 3 year meet cute’ scrawled out in red icing against the white frosting in Max’s handwriting

Daniel was stunned.

3 years. He couldn’t believe 3 years had flown by. He remembered walking into his Horticulture 120 lecture and the only spot left was next to Max at the front row. He was sure he’d drop the class. It was an elective after all. But then he turned and saw Max’s eyes. Blue. Like the Maldives. In that moment Daniel knew he had to stay. So he did and clumsily introduced himself. His braces giving him a slight lisp. But it was the best thing he had done. Now he had an apartment and two cats with that same boy. And they were celebrating meeting 3 year later.

Daniel gives his boyfriend a soft look before his own laughter filled the space between them “oh Maxy” he said “that’s adorable really. Thank you” he says admiring the icing work he had attempted winning his finger into the white frosting and licking it off his finger.

“Happy three year meet cute anniversary” he said leaning in kissing Max’s blushing cheeks.

Max smiled turning to look at his boyfriend “happy three year meet cute anniversary” he whispered before planting a kiss on Daniel lips.

[anditwasallyela]

You know how Jason is the unemployed friend of DC? Yeah, I love that. Full-heartedly.

But I raise you this: him actually having a job; but they're weird (sometimes illegal), and he only does them for like a week MAX.

One day he's an assassin. Next, he's a resurrectionist (basically body snatchers, who like, dig up old graves to get the bodies to either sell them to science or to bury again, Jason was trying out exposure therapy). And somehow, he becomes a zookeeper (The family only knew once they took Damian to the zoo and got jumpscared. The job only lasted two days before he ditched.)

The sheer length of his job range could take ten laps around the earth, and nobody knows how he's getting them.

Tim (on an undercover mission in a Metropolis library): Hello sir, do you know where the computers a-

Tim:

Jason:

Tim: What the fuck are you doing here.

Jason: I'm a librarian.

Tim: Wha- since when-

Jason: Like... 4 hours ago.

Tim:

This man has way too much free time, he might not need the money, but he needs the entertainment. Like- you're telling me that as a full time vigilante/crime lord, he wouldn't pull shit like this? Uh huh. Sure, bud. But the DC i live in stands for Disregard Canon.

Also, bonus:

Damian: I am severely concerned with the three of you's education.

Bruce (med school dropout):

Dick (college dropout):

Tim (high school dropout):

Tim *points to Jason*: hang on- what about him???

Jason: Whu? Oh, nah, i got my GED and spedran my degree after that whole Crime Lord spat.

Bruce:

Dick (secretly very proud):

Tim:

Damian: See? If a man whose been legally dead for 4 years can do it, then why can't you?

[onyx-plutos-moon]

Right back at you, what are your post-highschool study and/of job headcanons for the NPMD characters?

Not because I’m going to steal them for a fic or anything. What? No. That would be crazy… 👀

I only have ones for the main 6, sadly

Steph: automotive mechanic. There's no fucking way she's doing uni in my mind

Pete: I rotate between what sort of scientist j think would be neat. Pharmacist or like an aerospace engineer would be so neat

Grace: teaching. Tell me I'm wrong. She continued with schooling because she didn't know what to do after high-school and tell me Grace wouldn't fit being a teacher

Ruth: has a degree in something smart (general science degree), but ended up as a shop manager. She's passionate about theater and porn, not science

Richie: he's a twitch streamer but makes no where near enough to live off of, so he's got a job at a supermarket or double door dash as well. He does freelance IT stuff, because he's got a computer science degree, but he really thinks twitch will work for him

Max: chippy. If NPMD was set in nz, he would have dropped out of high-school at 16 to do a builders apprenticeship. "Professional football" shut up, no one wants him as their teammate, he's mean. He's a tradie and fucking acts it

[thatoneplumbob]

Boba Tea Tales - Lychee Boba (Gen 8).

Your parents were really busy growing up so you found a new love for video games. While they were away at university or work, you were always in your room playing games. You’re really good at gaming so you wanted to try out streaming as a teen! It does incredibly well. You join the Tech Guru career hoping to become the best eSport Gamer.

Legacy made by @malixa and her boba-buddy community, and go check out her channel right here.

Goals:

Roll for a random topping to get your 3rd trait & kid requirements

Become a Video Game Streamer as a teen

Join and complete the Tech Guru (eSport Gamer Branch) career as soon as you graduate high school

Make at least 1 video game in your lifetime

Attend GeekCon whenever it’s in town

Have at least 1 science baby

Complete the Computer Whiz aspiration

Max out the video gaming, entrepreneur, and programming skill

[maxleyrosebud]

Maxley Sci-Fi

In Goof troop , there are episodes that suggest that Max is into Sci-fi. Here are some examples from the show.

‘Close Encounters of the Weird Mime'

Max helps PJ with his science homework by suggesting they make a video about aliens taking over earth. 

When thinking of the idea , Max uses a lot of space related words.- “Think creative, visual! Cosmic! With Comets , Quasars, Nova's! Supernovas! Chevy Nova's! 

‘And a baby makes three’ 

Max is seen reading a sci fi comic book.

 

‘Come fly with me’

Max includes a Sci-fi video game when thinking of all the video games him and PJ can play on Pete’s new computer. "Boxing Gorillas, 50 flies from Fiji and UFO masters." -Max

‘You Camp Take it with you’

Max and PJ are playing in their Clubhouse as a space Captain and Lieutenant and have a telescope.

“Condition red, Lieutenant Peej, prepare to launch photo torpedoes!”-Max 

“Aye , Aye , Captain. Torpedoes set on full power , Captain ”-PJ

“Lieutenant , fire photon torpedoes!” - Max

They shoot water balloons at PJ’s dog , pretending it's an alien. 

“The alien has taken refuge with your baby sister’s ship, Lieutenant.”-Max  

I can’t remember if there are any other examples but based on the idea that Max does like Sci-Fi , I think there are so many fun concepts you can do with Maxley. Here are some ideas I came up with to get what I mean.

Bradley likes Sci-fi too but he keeps it a secret as he doesn't want to look like a geek/nerd. Max finds out somehow and they both bond and geek out over their shared interest.

If Bradley hated sci-fi , he could be the opposite of Max where he is more of a fantasy nerd that is into folklore , sorcery , magical creatures , kingdom settings etc.  Maybe a Big fan of Lord of the rings , Harry potter and fairy-tale plays at the theatre kind of guy. 

Both Max and Bradley could like Sci-Fi but they have a rivalry over it due to Max being a fan of Star Trek and Bradley being a fan of Star Wars . They both argue all the time about which one is better and Bradley calls Max a “Trekkie” like it’s an insult. 

If they're both fans of star wars , they could constantly be having lightsaber battles with one another with their own toy lightsabers. 

If they’re both Star Trek fans , they always fight over who gets to be the captain when they dress up for a sci-fi convention. 

In terms of romantic tropes , I'm a sucker for Max and Bradley looking at the stars together while lying next to one another.  Max can point at all the stars , telling Bradley what some of the constellations are and everything he knows about space while Bradley just takes it all in.

I imagine Bradley doesn't get a lot of time to look at the stars or to just slow down and take in what’s around him , so having a quiet moment with Max where he can just look at how pretty the stars are with him and not focus on any of his/their problems would be such a sweet, romantic moment to me. 

Maybe Max can tell Bradley about some constellations that his dad taught him while camping but they all have the name Goof in them so Bradley just thinks Max is making them up ;D 

Another romantic trope could be them going to some sci-fi themed dance or a sci-fi themed roller skating night together.

As for Maxley Sci-fi AU's , the possibilities are pretty endless.

If anyone else has any maxley sci-fi ideas , feel free. No judgement here.

[k8-marsh]

life is strange characters if they lived in england and were doing their gcses i guess???

im english and ilove life is strange so .why not. not entirely sure what the hell this is but loving it!!!

(also in hindsight a lot of these probably work for american skewl too.)

chloe price

hate to say it but she would vape in the school bathrooms

does not care about uniform restrictions; dyed hair, never tucks her shirt in, piercings and painted nails... the whole lot

wears trousers even in summer because she thinks shorts look stupid (to be fair, they do... i would know)

in isolation 90% of the time

hijacks a lime bike to get to school

judged but really chill and smart

sleeps in and is late

all the teachers know her (just because she always gets detentions)

mates with the lunch staff!!!

max caulfield

neek

was petrified of everything in year 7

always says 'good morning' instead of 'here' during the register

perfect uniform but she wears cute badges!

relentlessly bullied for her weird shoulder bag

only detention was for doing 'graffiti' in her book (doodles)

takes the bus to school

kate marsh

overly attached to her english teacher

perfect uniform! (except for her crucifix necklace :)

all the work gets handed to her in group presentations because she's the only one doing it

trembling 90% of the time

walks to school (the bus is too stressful)

picked combined science gcse so she could do music, psychology and art!

most teachers love her

never got detention

always half an hour early (gets up at 5am)

probably would break down crying if she did

warren graham

disregard what i said about max this guy is the ALPHA neek

does science club (even though he doesnt have to)

picked triple science and computer science (and ENJOYS IT.)

honestly his parents probably drive him to school

spends most of his lunchtimes in a science lab

always points out when the gas taps are open

big. ass. backpack.

victoria chase

heavy make-up, but really good at it!!!!

earrings + nails even though they are not allowed

always making diss tracks about some girl that looked at her funny (kate)

m to the b core...

cba with the uniform restrictions

'miss i didn't even say anything'

carries all her stuff in a chunky handbag

constantly suffocating the classroom by spraying body spray

it made the fire alarms go off.

cackles at all the year 7s running with their big bags (warren included)

[mothinabottle]

Hey hey I don't know if I've asked you this already (if I have I'm so sorry I have the memory of a goldfish that embodies an orange cat ^^")

But

I'm planning on making my dol pcs in the Sims4 and I was wondering if it'd be alright if I did the same with yours? I wanna have my friends dol pcs live under a roof (and see what chaos will ensure and post about it xD) once I've set my computer back up and done all the updates...there are so MANY updates ;-;

I understand if that's not alright with you though ^^

Dearest, it is more than alright! In fact, I am really flattered that you'd like to recreate them in the Sims 💙

Pls do tag me whenever these little demons do stupid shit, because I know they will.

Did a small relationship chart with the final school uniform designs to guide u a little.

Resumed description of each PC below

Hana is quite easy. She/them is obsessed with having a perfect academic record and is the most prideful person you'll ever encounter. No one can be better than her at school or she will lose her mind.

Partygoer, academic genius, socially dumb, can barely boil water and usually stresses herself to the point of fainting and bleeding. Prefers to talk things out. Smokes a lot, drinks a lot

Neat room, everything organized except from the amount of papers scattered around. Likes to show off trophies and medals. Tons of band posters. Her electric guitar is her most prized posession. Voice has an incredible range and is very powerful, thus a great singer

Hana crossdresses a lot to go out and such. Only wears female clothing at school. Extremely tall (1.95 cm). Doesn't know what to do with her life

Masculine body, fit but max ass. It's difficult to describe her, but some drawings give a hint of her body type

Kari is tricky. Really violent. Anger issues. Fights a lot. Scars on her arms which she covers wirh her clothes. Manipulative, really easy to anger. Cannot draw for shit. Prefers having short hair but is scared of being seen as less feminine.

Overdoses on pills regularly. Sexual things are a sensitive topic, but isn't above using her body to get what she wants. Really small (1.47cm). Does her best to be seen as an angel, has a meltdown if sometimes makes her realize she is less than pure.

Room looks like an elegant room of a hotel. Extremely fancy with expensive stuff, but it looks so soulless it hurts.

Really curvy body. Max tits and ass. You get what I am saying

You can make her chubby, though. She would be happier if she was chubby like when she was a child. Only thin because fear of not being seen as conventionally attractive.

May is the trickiest. Since she is "dead", most things are left up to how you want her to be.

Important stuff would be:

-Very meek,

-Loves space and anything related to it. Best subject used to be Science

-Very kind. Selfless to the point of being an imbecile.

-Loves nature and is a huge dreamer.

- Hobby is knitting and watching movies.

-Unlike the first two, she always dreamed of having a family. Doesn't matter if big or small.

That would be all to kinda build sims for them. You can DM me if you have any doubts!

Thank you for this opportunity, teademoness, dear! 💙💙

[rivetgoth]

About to watch Videodrome for the first time ever at my local independent movie theater. I've somehow managed to avoid learning anything about the movie so I'm going in completely blind, and am so excited. I've loved everything by Cronenberg I've seen so far and look forward to finally learning what Videodrome is about.

I really appreciate your views and perspectives when it comes to art and would love to hear your thoughts on the movie once I've actually seen it if that's something you're down for

Omg first of all enjoy the movie!! Secondly thank you for this ask, I’m really honored you’d ask and be curious to hear my thoughts on something 🥺🖤

Overall I’d say I think Videodrome is a really gorgeous movie. It’s got such iconic visuals that are so entrenched in this now-very-nostalgic 80s aesthetic and it’s also just very sexy and erotic which I love. Debbie Harry is soooooooo hot in it and while I’m not attracted to James Woods himself I think him as Max Renn and Nicki Brand are a very sexy duo. I also just, like, deeply admire and respect Cronenberg’s uncompromising vision as an artist.

That said, I’ll admit (maybe sacrilege to say!) that as an actual film Videodrome has never deeply resonated with me on like, a personal level. I’ve seen it a couple times (2 or 3?) and each time I’m left with the sentiment that it’s very well done, gorgeous on the eyes, and not something that I was able to particularly sink my teeth into as much as I’d have liked!! Even now when I try to recall the story beats off the top of my head I struggle to remember exactly what happens haha. It feels a bit scattered to me and I struggle to connect to the main topics as they’re presented, and while I’m sure I could if I really tried, I also find myself just interested in other themes in other films and have more of a desire to focus my attention elsewhere. 😅

I think the thing for me with Videodrome is that for better and for worse it is so explicitly and directly about a single form of technology in a single moment in history—Thee Television. This is understandable, as an early 80s film by a man born in the early 40s. This was thee dawn of the age of The Television as mass-owned, commercially produced product, fully acclimated to a permanent spot in our homes. I think in that regard the way it explores the concept of The Television and its relationship to humanity, the human psyche, human sexuality and the body, is so so so fascinating. However, it also hinders, for me, my ability to connect as much, because I just don’t find as much fascination with The Television as Cronenberg!

As a man born in the late 90s, I find myself way more drawn to science fiction that engages with Thee Computer, and that’s purely because that was the vice I grew up with, the strange new technology that was taking society by storm, that served as both extra parent and window into all of the horrors humanity has to offer lol. Cronenberg’s own eXistenZ, not coincidentally also a child of the late 90s, is much more thematically resonant to me (although unfortunately Jude Law and Jennifer Jason Leigh don’t have nearly as much charisma or chemistry as James Woods and Debbie Harry) in the way it uses transcendental philosophy to explore the potentiality and implications of the advent of digital worlds/space, or even, for non-Cronenberg examples, something like the anime Serial Experiments Lain (1998) or Jane Schoenbrun’s We’re All Going to the World’s Fair (2021), both media dealing with things like the way The Computer can warp one’s sense of self and identity, even one’s reality, and the way one interacts with others and the world around them (not entirely unlike Videodrome does re: The Television). And when I think about media that really heavily features The Television that I have connected to deeply, like Skinamarink (2022) or I Saw The TV Glow (2024), both are pretty strongly about the nostalgia (negative for the former, positive for the latter) of growing up with television, rather than interest in The Television as an entity of its own, imo, which once again I think speaks to generational difference and just difference in life experience and subsequent interests.

That said, does a movie need to be “resonant” to be great? Of course not. As it stands I think Videodrome is a fantastic work of art and I totally get the appeal. I think in particular, I was talking to Angel about it (who LOVES Cronenberg and has wonderful insights on his work that I don’t tbqh) and I really liked the way she discussed the way that Cronenberg appears to ask in Videodrome how similar or different the human body is to The Television: If one can send signals to a TV or insert a VHS in order to feed it information and give it commands, can the same be done to a person? I find that sentiment really cool and interesting. And I do love the ending and the questions it leaves about what’s real and fake in a post-television world. I guess I just also have never had a moment where the movie fully clicks into place for me—Personally, I think that Crimes of the Future (2022) is probably his best work. :)

[pushing500]

Got bored waiting for poll results and decided to see if Sims 3 works on my laptop. It does! Behold, Mechi à la Sims 3.

He lives in Lunar Lakes because it's another planet, just like the rim world he occupies in RimWorld. I've never played in Lunar Lakes before. I tend to stick with Riverview, Moonlight Falls, or Dragon Valley. Looking forward to seeing what Lunar Lakes is like!

Sims 3 Mechi's traits are:

Unflirty (because asexual)

Loner (because recluse)

Genius (because level 19 intellect)

Computer Whiz (see above)

Handy (because mechanitor)

He has the lifetime wish "The Tinkerer", which will require him to reach the max level of the handiness and logic skills, both things that should be easy as pie for a clever boy like him <3

He wants to join the Ghost Hunter career, which I suppose is appropriate for someone so invested in studying the void, and perhaps it'll be a good way for him to earn some money to pursue a science or technology degree at university later. Who knows? The possibilities are endless!

[howtosex1]

SPACE KIDS NIGHTMARE CREATION 1/??

oooo o oooo new camp camp au 🥳 (if u saw this on tik tok it was mine😇)

( TW: GORE AND DISTURBING TOPICS!! )

Au where sp's fan fiction/story comes to life and max gets trapped into that alternative reality and has to find a way to escape and survive.

Information about the characters because information dumping ;

Max — he got attacked by Niki as soon as he spiraled into the au. He got away as soon as he could and scurried into the forest.

Nikki— she got cursed when trying to save Neil from being cured yet it happened anyways. She turned into a savage beast basically and would attack anything human.

David— no idea. Bro also got cursed by nerris😭😭

Gwen— got brutally killed by being hit over the head so Neil did his science and then got transformed into a zombie.

Neil— got cursed into a robot basically. His real soul stuck in his computer.

Preston— got kidnapped and basically got experimented on. (By Neil and Nikki. They're basically a evil duo.) So he's now a vampire.

Harrison— got his guts ripped out by nerris basically because he was trying to check on her but they got infected by Daniel's curse.

Nerris— Daniel infected them with a curse to poison them before killing and cursing Harrison themselves he shoved a dice into their eye—

Ered— she fell off Campbell's skate ramp in that one ep. She got infected and went crazy cause she thought she wasn't cool enough and desperately will kill or harm anyone she thinks she isn't cool.

Nurf— you remember the nurf episode where he gets cloned ? Yeah Neil does that and then takes the actual nurf and kills the clones and basically experiments on nurf stitching his clones skin to him after skinning him basically making him like Frankenstein.

Thank you :3

[formula-fun]

can I ask what kind of work charles does in his lab?

like is it squishy sciences with like kaijus and stuff or is it developing stuff for the jeagers

I have this image of him looking like he hasn't slept in a week testing some beam weapon thing, blowing up a building taking some notes and then leaving lol and observers are like isn't that-

I love the scenes of him and max beating the shit out of each other sooo much but I think lab charles is like drugs to me

and like lab assistants ollie and oscar lmaooo

too concept

Hahsha I will go further in depth with this concept just for you

So he works in a J-science development lab that’s doing r&d for the mark vi project (in the movie striker is a mark v if that helps) and the lab is divided into a few branches, so there’s basically a bigger branch that does the physical parts of the jaeger (like how do we make the arms stronger, how do we make it run faster, etc), and a smaller branch that does the like…neurological side (how do we make this easier for rangers to pilot/how can we make the interface more intuitive/how can we make the jaeger’s brain talk better to the pilot’s brains). This is the branch Charles works for!!

Their lab is basically a big room with the mark vi’s physical prototype brain (it’s kind of like a big computer except it’s the size of an SUV) and a drift rig for test pilots to do test drifts with it. Those tests churn out data sheets that sort of indicate whether or not the pilots and the jaeger are synchronized (the goal is to get all three synchronized obvs) but since drifting is a bit of a soft science Charles is there to help the engineers read between the lines of the data. He also manages the test drift sessions and the test pilots—he makes sure they’re not over exerting themselves, that they’re matched well, and he helps them interpret what happens in the drift since he has a lot of experience drifting but they don’t have quite as much. Test pilots are usually kids from the academies who couldn’t find compatible matches, so they’re not very experienced in a jaeger

He eventually becomes program director for the entire project, which is a TERRIBLE job that he HATES. fortunately he only has to do it for about a month tho

So basically most of his job is looking at data sheets and dealing with teenagers lol. He doesn’t get to blow up THAT much stuff, except for the Mark Vi servos which are unfortunately very finicky and explode a few times during the beginning of the project. But those are outliers, and that’s probably a good thing

[e-adlirez]

Treasure Seekers 2 go brrrrr

So this sequel... exists :D

Welcome to the second entry in the Treasure Seekers trilogy that I'm gonna ramble about for the next six hours (in me time, in you time it's probably gonna be like thirty minutes or less), if you wanna read it yourself before reading this ramble, here's an Archive copy. Otherwise, enjoy the ride :D

So our story begins with the Thea Sisters locked in a basement in the dark, with Russia's penchant for matches (and the basement's lack of a smoke alarm) coming in clutch. Seems like another vacation's gone awry for them :3 How could it have possibly turned out this way?

Flashback: so the girls are vibing in Moscow, visiting all the cool sights and all that, Pam is wanting to try some Russian cuisine, when they spot this girl that's wearing what appears to be a barrette that used to belong to Aurora's sister Hannah Lane. They follow her a bit, find a THUG JUMPSCARE, follow the girl, Cassidy and co into the building they're heading into, and oh dear door with passcode is in the way. They find this dood Sergei, explain to him the situation, deal with him being like "who is u, and wth are you on about mate" until they hear a scream and oh dear turns out that girl with the barrette is Sergei's sister Irina and she's in trouble.

Sergei opens the door, they go in, walk in on Cassidy, Stan and Max (who I will from now call SM for simplicity) doing their whole thug jumpscare thing and kidnapping Irina in 4K. SM somehow rolls a high enough strength roll (or the girls roll a low enough initiative) that two roughly intimidating guys successfully trap six people into a basement without breaking a sweat get yourself some self-defense classes girls oml, and that's the end of that.

Luke's up to his shenanigans again, and it seems that he's targeted Irina Lenenko for the same reason the girls double-taked at the sight of her barrette: Irina (and Sergei in conjunction) is a descendant of Hannah Lane, and Hannah Lane may or may not have known a thing or two about one of the seven treasures. It's such a shame tho that Irina doesn't wanna spill any of the tea. What's this about a "queen's jewel"?

Oh also Luke has Aurora's third diary. I would like you to pay attention to this detail in particular. Oh and he's keeping Irina ratgrabbed until she tells them what he wants to know from her. Oh naur

Meanwhile the girls infodump all of the TS 1 LANE LOORRREEEE to Sergei in one whole sitting and finally manage to get around to "what the hell does this have to do with my sister". Sergei thinks it's not really possible for Irina to know anything about great-grandma Hannah's involvement with Aurora, but Irina's still in trouble soooo time to solve this nerdy-ass science trivia keypad puzzle to get outa the basement. Irina's nowhere to be found in the lab itself, so they regroup at Sergei's place to use his phone tracker app on his computer.

Bad news, SM dumped Irina's phone somewhere in the lab so the tracker app is useless; good news, while looking for some Lane Lore™ to get some context about the situation, the girls find some Lane Lore™ :D

-

Turns out Aurora was looking for one of the seven treasures again, y'know just updating her sister on that, who'd moved to Saint Petersburg with her husband Ivan.

Seems like Aurora's quest at the time involved "the queen's jewel", which Aurora said she was 1000% down to ramble about to Hannah, maybe when she's done finding all seven treasures and hiding them from Jan.

I would like to take this moment to remind you that Aurora is a British Amelia Earhart, and if you dunno what that means, look up what Earhart was famous for and then look at this with that given context :']

-

With that lead, the girls plus Sergei take a ride on presumably the Krasnaya Strela night train to Saint Petersburg, read some Lane Lore on the way, Peter-Griffin upon realizing that they spent the whole night reading AO3 fanfics Aurora's diaries and it's like 2AM now, land in Saint Petersburg, stop by Nevsky Prospekt Street to have some breakfast (I think they went to Venezia?), and discussion.

(For the rest of this review, please assume when I say "the girls", I'm including Sergei because Sergei tags along with them and helps them out in their entire journey. It's okay, Sergei may be biologically male but he is an honorary female in our hearts /j)

Aurora mentioned the queen's jewel in her diary, and when you're in Russia, the first queen that comes to mind is Catherine II, so maybe something relating to her? Some Lane Lore of Aurora taking interest in Catherine II's Amber Room in her palace specifically confirms their theories, sooooooooo it's time to go to the Amber Room to see if Aurora left any clu--

The girls are about to walk out of the Catherine Palace to Peter Griffin in private when SM JUMPSCARE--

So SM is stalkin' around the Catherine Palace looking for something, so the girls stalk them back and follow them out of the palace, into a car (the girls called a separate taxi to follow them), and to a little gray building in the outskirts of the city. They don't follow SM into the building because it might be dangerous, but Irina's scarf lying around near the premises confirms that Irina was in fact there and possibly being held hostage in the building.

The girls do a little tactic I like to call "the Ding Dong Ditch": Pam and Nicky knock on the door, SM answers it, do a little Metal Gear exclamation point "HOW DID YOU GET HERE", Nicky and Pam book it so SM chases them, and that's literally how the other girls plus Sergei sneak into the building to get Irina out. (You dunno how badly I wanted to make a videogame reference for this but I couldn't find anything so here we are--)

With that, the girls plus the Lenenko siblings book it outa there without SM being none the wiser (seriously it doesn't even cross their mind that there are more than two Thea Sisters, that's how dum they are). Irina books a hotel room at a friend's place and gives them some extra Lane Lore that she never told Klawitz despite the interrogations:

Hannah Lane was once visited by Aurora unexpectedly, a little after Hannah and her husband moved to a house near the Ob River, in Siberia. Possible lead :3c? The girls think maybe, so they decide to head on over to the exact address in Novosibirsk, Siberia.

In Siberia, the girls cross the frozen Ob River in Novosibirsk to this abandoned little house, where they find this little note with a riddle that talks about Cleopatra and an emerald she had at one point, and CASSIDY JUMPSCARE--

Cassidy busts in, snatches the note and books it away on her snowmobile before the girls can even react. You may be wondering, how the hell did Cassidy get there and know where they were? The answer is the same as the reason behind the SM jumpscares in Russia and in book 1, and that is Luke.

Luke Von Klawitz is doing a little segment that I like to call: Luke Touch Grass, where it becomes increasingly clear that Luke's spent way too much time on 4Chan (/j but you'll see what I mean). Luke hears about SM's failure and facepalms. Then he calls his friend Petrovski, who has access to the database of all of Russia's airports, for help tracking down "six mice leaving Saint Petersburg". Petrovski gives him results in minutes: the girls and Sergei are leaving Saint Petersburg and heading for Novosibirsk, Siberia (most likely Tolmachevo Airport). With that intel, Klawitz looks into his own database of Aurora Beatrix Lane, finds a picture of Hannah and Aurora together, and uses his own version of Google Lens to figure out the exact coordinates where the picture was taken, which happens to be in Novosibirsk, Siberia.

No this man does not in fact canonically touch grass on the regular, who's asking

Anyway so he sent Cassidy the coords, instructions and Aurora's diary to go, and that's how Cassidy walked in on the girls in that little abandoned hut next to Ob River. Only thing is uh, she dropped her purse on the way out. A purse that just so happened to contain Aurora's diary that Luke gave her.

So the girls scoop that puppy up and assume that the treasure is Cleopatra's emerald, thus they think it's in Egypt.

So the girls go to Egypt :D (29 and a half hour flight there good god no wonder they conked out in the plane--)

The girls read some Lane Lore, something about Aurora finding the treasure and hiding it somewhere in a desert, in an "expanse pure and white" that a star compass will lead to. First thing the girls think of at the desert bit is the White Desert (Sahara el Beyda), specifically a spot near Cleopatra's pool, so they leave the airport (not realizing Cassidy is following them now) and head over to a market to buy some supplies because might I remind you, they initially went to Moscow, Russia for vacation.

While in the market, Pam meets a guy named Omar. Pam tells him a little bit about them going to Cleopatra's pool in Sahara el Beyda, and she finds out that Omar just so happens to be an Archaeology major in Oxford University who's here on his summer vacation and works as a guide for Sahara el Beyda, and is more than down to give the girls a tour. Talk about lucky :D

The next day the girls take the scenic route and after a while make it to Siwa, where Omar books a room in a hotel for them, and the girls find this interesting myth there about Cleopatra that I will summarize here:

Cleopatra was once given a jewel that maxes out the owner's rizz and the effect is supposedly indefinite. Cleopatra liked the jewel so much that she wore it on her crown at all times... until she grew a bit self-conscious about the gem's maxxed rizz effect and how everyone kept eyeing the emerald a second too long for comfort, so she decided to hide away said rizz in a spot where none of her rivals could get to it. Oh and uh Cleopatra wrote up a dedication to Ra that's hella cryptic too.

One long rest later, the girls go to Cleopatra's pool on a donkey cart. Yes, a donkey cart. It was Omar's idea. Speaking of Omar, prepare yourself buddy because the girls have dubiously decided to give you some Lane Lore to chew on. O-oh you like it a lot. A lot a lot. Well okay cool, maybe you can help out, cool.

The girls manage to figure out the riddle in Cleopatra's dedication, find a little stone coffer that has the queen's treasure and-- SM JUMPSCARE

With a donkey as the girls' only escape method and Omar having suddenly disappeared, a scuffle ensues where the girls play hot potato with the box until SM gets their hands on it and opens it, and here we get a very accurate depiction of what SM and the girls found in the box once it was actually opened.

Description: a hand made of salt shaped in an upside-down "ok" symbol, circa 1920s-30s.

The sheer whiplash of this leaves both sides of the conflict losing enough HP that they're all on red-- SM is blaming the girls for this (how dare >:[) and dip. Omar is gone, and all the girls get as compensation is the empty box and a letter from Aurora telling them that they'll know to read the hidden clues. The girls head back feeling very hollow and dead inside, and this is the one time one of the girls questions how the hell did SM know they were at Siwa. I mean they never get any answer to this (kinda), but it is a milestone! They're aware of it now!

Once they get back to Cairo, they ask around and find that Omar's completely up and vanished, and they decide they'll just head back to Moscow since their investigation has come to a dead end. On the way, Pam comments about the falafel she bought being hella salty, which leads Violet to an epiphany that hey, the Sahara isn't the only desert that exists, let alone the only desert known for how white it is (like how Boracay Beach is known for how white and fine its sand is, but it's not the only white sand beach that exists). A quick Google search (and a long flight (35 HOURS CAIRO TO SUCRE???)) leads them to the Salar de Uyuni in Bolivia.

Nicky reserves a room for them at Hotel Luna Salada (a real place you can book a stay at actually :D), and they make a friend by the name of Adriana, a local waitress in the hotel restaurant. Adriana helps them pick out a dessert, fills them in on some stuff about the Salar since the girls came here 100% out of impulse, and talks about possible itinerary locations to go to, like the Isla de Pescado, Tiwanaku (the "Gate of the Sun"), Lake Titiaca, and Laguna Colorada. Y'know, typical tourist stuff, and Adriana was so kind to show them pictures she took when she visited said places herself! :D

Anyway so while the girls long rest, Luke is mulling about in his base waiting for updates. Someone calls him about the whole Egypt thing, and Luke calls the girls incompetent? Rude, oh and something about the caller being Luke's "secret weapon". Cassidy calls him on a theory she has about the gemstone being in Cleopatra's palace, and since the girls are currently long-resting (which means they aren't doing anything), Luke figures that a little diving trip in Alexandria to search for the gem with Cassidy won't hurt. Besides, he still has his secret weapon.

Oh yeah and he knows the girls are long resting because he has a drone in Bolivia spying on them and showing him their every move. Touch grass, Luke. No, going on a diving trip in Alexandria doesn't count, there's barely any grass there /j

Morning comes in Bolivia, and the girls head out early to search the Salar as much as they can. They look around the flat white desert, eat some late breakfast, toy around with forced perspective camera shenanigans for a bit, and read up on some LANE LOOORREEEEE

So Aurora's been to Pumapunku and Tiwanaku which is cool, she paid a visit to the archaeological site probably and that's really cool. She says something about hiding the queen's treasure in a fish's stomach covered in very fine thorns. Sergei ends up having an epiphany, and that leads the girls to Isla de Pescado, which just so happens to be "Fish Island" in Spanish, and has cacti on it, it's all coming together :D

Oh and the fish drawing Aurora made is coords to the treasure seemingly so that's cool-- OMAR JUMPSCARE

The girls are very surprised to find Omar joining them, and Omar explains that he booked it when SM came over and lost his cellphone as a result. However, he managed to figure out that Aurora's riddle was about salt and not sand, and decided to head on over to Bolivia since he assumed that's where the girls are going. How did he find them? It was just out of pure coincidence, and also the fact that the girls are extremely recognizable. Hm.

Anyway, Paulina plugs the coordinates into her GPS and leads the girls plus Omar to a little cave at the bottom of a little embankment. The girls find that, lo and behold, there's an old tin box containing a bright green emerald!

Meanwhile Luke is not finding anything in Alexandria haha L, LVK L get dunked on Luke, Cassidy girlie that's not a man to simp for find someone else gurl-- oh dear Luke is alerted that the treasure has been found and now he's planning on heading over to Bolivia? Now how could he possibly know that?

In the meantime, I dunno what's up in the air or if it's the Archaeology major speaking in him but Omar's really invested in this treasure, even more so than the girls to the degree that the girls are a little freaked out by it-- RHEA JUMPSCARE-- Paulina calms the big bord down and gets it to not trample Omar please, he's still a friend of theirs. Colette picks up this blue notebook Omar seems to have dropped.

The girls plus Omar head back to the SUVs, and Omar is really trying to persuade the girls that he should bring it back to Cairo. The girls are not jazzed at the idea because Omar bringing it back alone will be too unsafe, y'know with Luke and Cassidy and SM and all. They gotta think about this rationally-- WHOA OKAY OMAR calm your man tits buddy why are you demanding they trust you like you automatically deserve your trust-- ohh that's how Klawitz has known about the girls' whereabouts, Omar was working as a double agent.

So yeah Omar snatches the box from Colette and drives off in his SUV, leaving the girls in the dust. The girls freak out and are feeling that EMOTIONAL DAMAGE, but Colette for some reason is very calm about Omar booking it with the emerald. And that's because SHE HAS IT :D she did a lil' switcheroo so now the emerald's with her while the box is with Omar.

For context about how Colette knew about this, remember the blue notebook Omar dropped? Yeah that notebook was a company LVK notebook, straight from Luke himself. Then after Colette saw it, everything about Omar became incredibly sus, so she performed this precautionary measure.

So now the girls talk to the local authorities about how the whole thing with the emerald is gonna go down, and soon the girls are waiting for a plane back to Moscow.

As for Omar, well, he goes over to Luke's super-fancy hotel in La Paz, Bolivia, and he hands the box to Luke, explicitly stating that he decided he'd let Luke open it before he himself can appreciate it.

Luke opens the box, and here we see an accurate depiction of what Luke sees.

Description: an upside-down "ok" symbol drawn in strawberry pink lip balm, signed Colette [insert last name], circa 2018.

Luke punts the box (prolly with the lip balm still inside it) into the swimming pool, tells Omar to get out, and that's the end of that. Haha Omar L Luke L

The girls head back to Moscow to drop Sergei off when SURPRISE PARTY BY IRINA'S SQUAD :DDD

Then the girls are about to return to Whale Island to presumably Peter Griffin in their dorms, when Colette suggests they make a journal a la Aurora Beatrix Lane, and they do. In a pink notebook because it was Colette's idea so we might as well give her that

And they take a black-and-white group picture of them wearing adventurer clothes like Aurora would've done. The brainrot is real, these girls are mentally ill /j

And that's the book :D

... Honestly it's the most meh out of the trilogy besides the big-brain bits in the middle and the end imo

The writing was so much more stilted in this one, even for Scholastic standards, and everything feels pretty..... kid's book. Even more so than the usual in the book's English translations. I do readings for the books in some of my Discords, and this book did not read well at aaallll. And I haven't even mentioned the typos in the book (they're not a lot, but they exist, and they're kinda egregious :D) and some grammar errors if I'm remembering things correctly. It might just be a translation thing-- I worry a bit for the translator who had to put this together.

Luke's character here is also kinda wonk? For one we see him directly contradict his anti-friendship spiel in TS 1 since he literally greets Petrovski like a friend (maybe it's a "friendship doesn't exist except in 4Chan" thing, I dunno). Then in the middle of the book, he gets... very Disney villain-y. The most egregious example here is the chapter "Lurking in the Shadows", where as you can see

I am confusion?? Luke has been described as a to-the-point brat who hardly cares for the means to his end (unless it will impact his ability to achieve the end) and is so fixated on his goal that he doesn't touch grass. Is this not-touching-grass behavior? Yeah, definitely, but this??? This is too Disney villain???? Why does the man break into an evil cackle in front of Cassidy???? I understood it in book 1 because man thinks he's doing a "You may think you have outsmarted me but I have OUTSMARTED YOUR OUTSMARTING", but this one?? Maybe it's my personal taste, but it's too cartoonish and too... deviated from what we know of him up to this point.

ALSO TWIRLING HIS MUSTACHE? WHAT MUSTACHE IS HE TWIRLING THAT THING IS NOT TWIRL-ABLE

Also time to address the one big plot hole in this book: Aurora's diary.

So in this book there's only one diary, which is infinitely simpler than the two we got in the first book. This diary supposedly contains Aurora's records of her mission in hiding Cleopatra's Rizzmerald, and the details are supposedly vague enough that Luke felt the need to kidnap and interrogate Irina, a Hannah Lane descendant, to fill in the blanks. However, when you look at the contents of the diary itself (which lord knows how many times Luke himself has looked through it), there's hardly any blanks that need to be filled, at least if you're Luke.

The diary itself is mostly in the background-- like I said, not as much Lane Lore here as the previous book, the girls mostly rely on Aurora's letters to Hannah here-- but there's one specific entry the girls read in the latter half of the book that explicitly mentions Pumapunku and Tiwanaku, and how Aurora is there for her mission to hide the emerald. Complete with coordinates hidden in a little drawing! My one question I have for Luke is, why didn't he go straight to Bolivia and started searching there? Why did he go through all the effort of kidnapping Irina, tailing the girls around Sahara el Beyda, letting SM fall for the salt replica gambit, left his base to touch grass and go on a dive with Cassidy in Egypt; all if he could've just gone straight to Bolivia to look for the treasure there? Sure, Aurora did a good job hiding the coordinates in the fish doodle, but someone as observant and as obsessed about the outcome instead of the journey like Luke would rather have sidestepped all the Aurora shenanigans and beelined straight to the goal if he was able to.

Luke hardly has an excuse here because he owned the diary at the start of the book, and most definitely read through it many times (and we know he's the type to do this, see TS 1). The plot hole is plot hole-ing, it seems :/

Maybe it was just an excuse for the girls to get a giant glowing arrow pointing in the direction of the treasure? It certainly feels like it.

Anyway, the things that carry this book and made it memorable when I first read it (and allowed me to ignore the iffy bits) are the gottems and Omar as a character. Aurora setting up a salt replica of the Rizzmerald as a gottem in a time capsule, only to be opened almost a hundred years later to still be as potent as intended when it was made so long ago? That is amazing, like c'mon, pure comedy material.

Even funnier is Colette doing the exact same thing, only with her lip balm. Luke is quaking in his bougie-ass leather boots.

Now for Omar. This may be a hot take of mine here, but Omar's sus-ness is actually at a decent level compared to the girls and what they usually deal with. On one hand, Omar is incredibly suspicious with how incredibly lucky the girls are to find an Archaeology Oxford major working as a Sahara el Beyda tour guide; but on the other hand, the girls had almost the exact same situation with Diego in Mexico (I didn't mention him in the first review, but he came in clutch in TS 1).

The girls met Diego in Merida, Mexico, and he helped them with their research into "the invisible place", which happened to be Uxmal, along the Puuc Route. Diego also just so happened to be a tour-guide-in-training for the Puuc Route, which was the place the girls just so happened to need to go to find Aurora's second journal.

In comparison, the girls meet Omar in Khan El-Khalili while they were looking for supplies for their trip to the Siwa Oasis. It comes up in conversation that the girls are headed to Siwa, and Omar just so happened to be a tour guide for Sahara el Beyda, which was where the Siwa Oasis is, and it just so happened to be where the girls needed to go. When you stack them up together, it made perfect sense that the girls thought they could trust him-- Diego didn't know much about their trip and helped them the best he could (which was a lot), so why wouldn't Omar do the same? He's an Oxford Archaeology major, too, for crying out loud, the girls struck gold in the end!

Gold that was too shiny and too good to be true. Gold that was, in the end, nothing more than pyrite, fool's gold.

Omar is a good case for why you should be careful with who you trust, and when you should start thinking a little bit when you're getting a little too lucky with the people you meet. When the girls got to know him a little more and decided to trust him and tell him the deal with their trip, he got way invested in the gem-- too invested to not be a little bit suspicious. Maybe the girls mistook it for his passion for his archaeology major, maybe they mistook it for something else-- but whatever the case, Omar pulled the cheesecloth over the girls' eyes and really only fell apart near the end, when his alibis and behavior started becoming more and more suspicious; and by then, Omar didn't need to be as inconspicuous, and the girls had gotten to know him too much to readily say to him "okay buddy can you kindly f%ck off, your vibes are not vibing here".

The girls probably should've been suspicious when Omar reappeared in Bolivia out of nowhere, but I guess his alibi was just good enough (and the girls at this point were probably running on adrenaline, caffeine and a brain on 70% capacity at most) to pass the Deception check.

Fr tho there were some bits where the girls should've found him sus but they didn't (him accidentally saying "I did it" when they uncovered the emerald, and also him handling the emerald the way he did), so shrugs. It could be a translation thing, but it could also be something else.

Anyway, kinda meh for a sequel, but it does have its standouts that allow it to somewhat stand on the same level as the first and third books. Kinda.

Hey, at least it's not as bad as Crystal Fairies-- that's the bar of bad-ness I'm setting. It's not as bad as Crystal Fairies and that's what matters--

Also special thanks to @ishmeowwow (it won't let me ping you for some reason bestie <:[) for making the lil' artworks haha

[andydrysdalerogers]

Undercover - One - Jake

Pairings: Jake Jensen and OFC Samantha Matthews

The Losers have made it back to their families and are out. Well, almost. A threat against the British crown needs to be handled and the CIA has tapped the Losers for one final mission. And they are sending in Jensen.

Jake Jensen hasn't been a civilian in years but now he's undercover to find out why his target is where he is and who he's after.

Enter Sam, someone who Jake doesn't expect and well, he didn't know he was looking for.

Can Jake handle his mission and falling in love? Especially when the truth leads to a bigger mission than expected?

*~* A Jake Jensen Story *~*

Author's note: this story continues after the events of the Losers. I may weave other characters into it but they are all minor.

The playlist is available on Spotify.

cover photo by me! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Warnings: angst, death, smut, and a bunch of stuff a can’t say because it gives away the plot!

"Alight Losers, focus up.”  

Colonel Franklin Clay looked at his exhausted team.  It had been a long, few months, getting back from Bolivia, getting to Max and Roque’s betrayal of the team. They had just received their pardons, visiting the families that thought them dead and were now back together for their final debrief.  

Or so they thought.  

“We got tapped for an undercover ops,” Clay explained.  “It’s going to be a long one but the request is coming from an outside source.”  

“So not your typical ops.” Sgt. Linwood ‘Pooch’ Porteous commented while kicking his feet onto the desk in front.  

“Not this time.  One will be in deep cover at a company where the target works.  The mission is to recon and discovery of the target’s mission.”  

“Who’s asking?” Pooch flipped a pen in the air. Sgt. Carlos ‘Cougar’ Alvarez caught it and put it down shaking his head.  

“Dunno.  Our handler should be coming in…” 

“Right now.”  A tall, dark hair individual came in, suit, no tie, followed by another man.  “Nick Fowler, CIA director of Foreign Affairs.” 

“Clay.  That’s Pooch, Cougar, Aisha and… Jensen!” 

A blonde stood up from the snack table, licorice in his mouth.  He wiped his hands on his jeans and walked over.  “Hi!” 

“Great.  This is Inspector Harry Hart, British Intelligence.”  

“How do you do?” He shook everyone’s hand before clearing his throat.  “We would normally send in our own man but since our target is based in the US, we need an American to blend in.  We need someone who can also blend in seamlessly and get close to the target.”  

“That would be me,” Clay said.  

“Excellent.  And this is our target.”  He flashed a picture.  “John Fitzgerald. He is a former MI6, turned mercenary. He has been keeping low until just a few days ago when we intercepted intelligence that he is a threat to the crown. The King has been informed of the situation but is obviously not involved for his safety and the safety of his family.”  

“Shit,” Clay mumbled. He picked up the photo of the target.  “I know him.  We worked together 20 years ago.  I can’t go in.”  

“Who can?” Fowler asked.  

Clay furrowed his brow. “What company?” 

“It is,” Hart shuffled his papers, “ADR Diagnostics.  A tech company.”  

The Losers all swiveled their heads and looked at Jensen, who looked back with wide eyes. “What?” 

“Jensen can go in,” Clay said.  

Hart stepped forward.  “Name, rank and qualifications?” 

Jensen stood up straighter. “Captain Jake Jensen, masters in computer science and Data Analytics.” Jake started to sweat a little as Fowler and Hart inspected him.  

“Well, he does have the look of an IT guy,” Fowler commented. “What do you think, Inspector?” 

“Captain, you understand that you will essential be a civilian working undercover to find out what is going on with Fitzgerald?  There is not a timetable.  The faster you discover his motives, the faster you are out.”  

“Colonel,” Jake turned to Clay, “I thought we were out?”  

“They haven’t given us our papers yet Jake.  This would be our last mission.” Clay turned to the team. “It’s up to you.”  

“I’m in,” Pooch said.  Cougar tilted his trademark hat. Aisha shrugged.  Clay turned back to Jensen.  “The company is based near your family’s hometown.  You can stay near them and visit like normal since you do have to keep up appearances.”  

Home. Something that Jake had longed for.  His reunion with his parents has been joyful.  Especially since his cousin Savannah and niece Grace had been visiting.  Her husband and two other children had stayed home with the flu, which was a bummer but still.  

“Alright,” Jensen clapped his hands together.  “I’m in.”  

“Excellent. We will get you planted as a manager of an IT group.  You start a week from Monday to allow you time to get settled.  The apartment we have procured for you is in the town center and you should be able to walk to the office,” Hart explained.  

Civilian life.  

Not something he was expecting. But here he was, Captain Jake Jensen, IT guy. He stood in front of ADR Diagnostics and looked up. The weekend had been interesting.  His parents had been thrilled that he was going to be closer to home.   He settled into his loft apartment and set up his reconnaissance equipment to maintain contact with the team.  He was to check in every Friday, under the guise of drinks with old friends.  He had studied his target.  

Fitzgerald was a handsome man, loyal to the crown, until an accident killed his partner, and he went sideways.  He left the service, went underground.  The threat that brought him back into radar was interesting.  Fitzgerald was looking for leverage against the old King of England.  His Majesty, King Harold had just stepped down to his son, Anthony, his only child, in a swirl of worry as Anthony had not had any children of his own.  

Jake found it curious on the line of succession the next person would be Anthony’s cousin, Lewis, to inherit.  From what Jake found online, the people of England despised Lewis for his snotty attitude to the common people and his utter disdain for his uncle and cousin, so much as speaking out against them. What could Fitzgerald be looking for to hold over the old King? He must be connected to Prince Lewis in some way, Jake noted to himself.  

Walking in, he was greeted by his new supervisor. “Jake?” 

“Yeah, Jake Jensen.” He offered his hand.  

“Michael Anderson.  Follow me.”  

Jake internally snorted remembering his break into the last company.  He followed the man to the bank of elevators and went up.  

“So, Jake, you’ll be heading a team of techs checking for security for our clients. Your team is four plus you and you will be reporting to me.  We do a daily report due at the end of the day before you leave. You have to send that to Sam, my assistant.”  

Jake nodded along. “Cool. No problem.”  

Michael looked over Jake. “I know it’s your first day but lose the tie. We’re pretty casual here. Polo and jeans will do.  Fridays can be a t shirt.”  

“Sure.” Jake pulled off his tie and stuffed it into his backpack. Getting off on the 14th floor, Michael directed him to an air where five desks were situated.  “Guys, focus up.” Four heads popped up.  “This is your new team leader Jake Jensen. This is Fred, Dave, Rob and Pete, your team. Make him feel welcome and shit. I’ll check in with you guys later.”  

“Uh, Mr. Anderson?” 

“Mike, please.” 

“Right Mike. Uh computer?” 

“Right.” He pulled a laptop out of his own bag. “Email is set up and will have all your system logins. Sam should have emailed you your report instructions and everything you need. Have any questions, ask your team or send a message to Sam. Otherwise, own your team, Jake.”  

“Thanks.” Mike walked away and Jake turned back to the guys. “Hi.” He awkwardly waved his hand.  

“Sup, boss man, I’m Fred. De facto mouth of the team.  That Dave, Rob and Peter,” pointing to each guy. “Uh I’ll let you set up.”  

“Thanks. Just set up and you guys can tell me where you are.” Jake moved to his new desk and took out a frame. Pictured was his niece Grace with his cousin Savannah. They had lost touch for a few years when his asshole aunt and uncle cut Savvy off. Now she was married and happy and Jake got back in touch with her. A perk of no longer being dead.  

As he set his desk up, he looked up to see a beautiful brunette walk across the floor. Her long dark hair with blonde tip bounced with her curls in a sleek ponytail.  She wore an emerald-green blouse with dark jeans and heels. Jensen couldn’t help but stare. And then she looked up. Cupid lips, soft pink cheeks, cat eyeglasses framing big eyes with lashes. Her smile made Jake swoon. When she looked in his direction he ducked and moved to open his email. “Stupid,” he muttered to himself. No way a girl that gorgeous is single. He concentrated on the task at hand, reading the first email in his new inbox.  

From: Sam Matthews  To: Jake Jensen  Hi!  Below are your logins for the system. I’ve attached a sample excel sheet to use for your daily reports. Any questions, you can email or instant message me.   Welcome to the team Jake!   Sincerely,  Sam Matthews  Assistant to Michael Anderson  

Jake reviewed all the info given and then sat with his team.  But his mind never left the beautiful brunette. I wonder where she works, he thought to himself.  

Closer than you think, Jake.  

The day went smoother than he thought, ADR’s systems sophisticated but simple. He was able to catch up to where his team was at and log in the progress.  He caught glimpses of his dream girl as she walked around the office. Lunch time with the team was easy, the guys were really nice about inviting Jake and keeping him in the conversation.  But it was around three that Jake got his break.  He was headed into the break room for a much needed pick me up in the way of coffee. Making sure that he didn’t get lost, his eyes wandered around the floor before his reflexes caused him to dodge someone.  

“Excuse me, sorry,” he heard and looked to see a flounce of curls walk away.  It was dream girl. He was about to say something when someone else caught his attention.  

“Pardon me, I just… you’re new.” A British accent hit Jake’s ears and he looked to find himself face to face with John Fitzgerald.  

“Yeah, hi. I’m Jake, IT.”  

“John, accounting.  Sorry, did you see a brunette pass by?” 

Jake stared a second too long at Fitzgerald and shook himself back to the present.  “Uh, yeah, she went into the elevator.”  

“Sly minx, she is.  You must know how that is,” Fitzgerald flashed Jake a rouge smile.  Jake swallowed and nodded unsure what to say.  “Well, I’ll see you around Jake.”  

“Likewise.”  

This guy? Jake shook his head as he poured himself a cup.  Dammit. Now I have to be all douchebag around this guy, he thought to himself as he took a sip.  Another voice startled him that he spilled his coffee a bit.  

“Is he gone?” 

Jake turned to see his dream girl in front of him. Her glasses were pushed up into her hair, showing off her big eyes that he now knew were brown with flecks of green and gold in them. She was chewing on her bottom lip, making it fuller.  Jake was memorized.  “Uh, yeah.  I told him that you went up the elevator.”  

“Thank you.  God, he just won’t take no for an answer.”  

Jake was captivated by her voice. It had a slight accent to it but barely noticeable.  “Sorry for my species.” He wrinkled his nose at the comment and went to leave, knowing he had just made a fool of himself.  

But then he heard it: her giggle.  “Thank you for apologizing.  I’m Sam, by the way. Sam Matthews.”  

Holy. Shit.  

His new boss’s assistant is his dream girl.  

And suddenly, being undercover was not so bad.  

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

@kmc1989

@kandis-mom

@lokislady82

[zponds]

Dexter (Updated)

Powers, Abilities, and Weapons

Despite having no superpowers, Dexter is a force to be reckoned with:

Super-Genius Intelligence: Dexter is one of the smartest humans on Earth, who despite his young age created his own lab and have made great discoveries and scientific inventions.

Chemical Intuition: Likely a result of his own master-intelligence, Dexter possesses a chemical intuition, allowing him to understand chemistry on high level and do research in the field.

Master Mechanic and Inventor: Dexter has master-intellect which allows him to create and repair scientific wonders and sci-fi machinery. His list of inventions includes but aren’t limited to:

Chodenji Yoyo:

Dexo-Transformer: An exoskeleton designed to use it in order to beat some bullies during dodgeball practise, later used against the Powerpuff Girls.

Glasses:

Gynoid:

Laboratory:

Large Hadron Collider:

Lasergun:

Lightsaber:

Magnet Hookshot:

Monkey:

Portal:

Powergauntlet:

Powergloves:

Set Squares:

Supercomputer:

Hand-to-hand Combat: Despite his small stature and geeky appearance, he does possess a basic hand-to-hand combat skill.

Marksman: Dexter has shown to be able to throw geometry triangles and “Dexterrangs” like boomerangs and ninja stars, with a high accuracy. He also is able to fire a grappling magnet with that same accuracy.

Mecha Piloting: Dexter is a capable Mecha Pilot and has used this to pilot several of his own mechas.

Swordmanship: Dexter is able to wield a rapier and light saber in battle.

Appearance

Dexter is a bit short, although somewhat taller than in his original appearance. He has ginger curly hair with some spikes at his crown and a short mullet. He still wears his semi-circular glasses. but it is revealed that he has blue eyes. Most of the times he is seen wearing a white lab-coat, the top half buttoned while the bottom is left unbuttoned. Underneath he wears a normal black shirt. He wears blue pants and are stuck into his black boots. In addition to that he also wears purple gloves. In his school uniform he still wears the same only his white lab shirt more open.

Personality

Dexter is a supremely brilliant boy with a vast knowledge of all sciences. Though American, Dexter speaks in a Russian accent. However, Dexter also possesses a massive ego and hates all things that are stupid. But unlike the TV series, he’s notably more mature in personality being less arrogant and more caring, especially since he’s a member of the Genie Team. Despite being excessively irritated with Dee Dee due to her constant interference and stupidity in the past, he still loves her and cares about her.

As a side note: after meeting the Twin Cities Zephyr twins, Jimmy Goard and Jerry Guord, Dexter called Ratchet and Wheeljack and told the two about what the two streamliners said about his lab recieving Cybertronian upgrades and Cybertronian supercomputers. After Zachery (me) explored the lab with Ash, May, Max, Ukyo, Shampoo, Norman and Caroline, half of Dexter’s Laboratory received those Cybertronian upgrades from Ratchet and Wheeljack, who used Cybertronian technology to make half of the lab even greater. Dexter, after being taught by the two Autobots on how to use the Cybertronian upgrades, is very greatful and uses the Cybertronian-upgraded technology to make his inventions and uses the Cybertronian-upgraded computers to type away at. Some of these Cybertronian-upgraded computers are the same type as the one seen in the Project Chimera segments of the show “Transformers Prime”, albeit with lights+shades of blue and white rather than orange and yellow. And these computers have a similar function; Cybertronian robotic engineering and robotic construction. There are also Cybertronian-upgraded supercomputers that Dexter uses to keep files of his experiments safe and some of the Cybertronian-upgraded supercomputers are used to analyze ancient languages and decipher them, as well as being able to help identify different animal species and being in frequent contact with the Autobots on Cybertron. On top of that, these Cybertronian-upgraded supercomputers allow Dexter’s lab to link up to/connect with Cybertron’s own supercomputers; Teletraan and Vector Sigma. And last but not least, Dexter uses the regular supercomputers and the Cybertronian-upgraded supercomputers to analyze and identify the best strategies for the Genie Team to use when facing baddies, kinda like Sailor Mercury’s visor and little supercomputer. He also uses the supercomputers to analyze and create blueprints for any future inventions. The boy genius also has a collection of iPad Pro sized iPads with holographic screens (like in detective pikachu). And Dexter was also given a collection of exosuits (similar to the one as seen in rise of the beasts) to use whenever he needs to or if his Dexo-Transformer (the exoskeleton he used against Buttercup) gets fatally damaged.

[myxomato515]

Schoolhouse Rankings: Part 2

The 11 Where It Starts To Get Good

Symbol key: ⭐"big one" most popular song of the season 🟩highest ranking song of the season 🟥lowest ranking song of the season ⚡seizure warning! prevalent flashing lights 👍i have an interesting fact to share ✖multiplication rock 🇺🇲america 🖥computer💲money 🖋grammar 🧪science

38. 🇺🇲I'm Gonna Send Your Vote to College👍

The 30th anniversary special of Schoolhouse Rock! And it's... alright. Like, I'm not a huge fan, and I can honestly see why it's so commonly put in people's bottom fives. It's a bit tough to pinpoint why it's so middle-of-the-road, but when I think about it, that's because everything's off. The instrumental is good, but the rest is shaky. Jack Sheldon's delivery is stilted and at times offbeat, and you can tell in his voice he's aging. I forgot to mention it in Presidential Minute, and it was especially bad in that song. The animation is also pretty stiff sometimes. The biggest flaw in this song, though, is there's too much going on. There's so many sound effects and prominent characters and random shit going on that it's really muddled. I hear that complaint all the time with Busy Prepositions(more on that later), but I think it's worse here because no one and nothing is really introduced, everything sort of just meanders in a well-meaning but clumsy way. That's not to say this short is devoid of good qualities, though; I find Boothy endearing as fuck. Like, besides Scooter and Mr. Chips, he's the first leading guy I actually really vibe with. I would get him confused with Bill all the time when I was little, which is weird because they're very dissimilar in a lot of aspects, but I knew what was going on as a kid because I liked him then too. He also has a couple of really smoothly animated moments, such as when he pulls the screen back like a curtain with his little hook. I will say, it really does drum up hype for the 30th anniversary, becaue it's big and overwhelming and bloated. Grandiose and indulgent, maybe a little too much so, but still. My last comment is that this song was the only one of the entire series that taught me literally nothing as a kid. It's not like I straight up didn't remember it like Tax Man Max, but I watched it several times and had no damn idea what the electoral college was afterwards. I don't know if that's just because it's a tough concept to explain to children, or if it really did fail to educate, or if I was just a stupid child, but even nowadays I think how they explain it is a little confusing. It really get swept up in the clutteredness of the rest of the song. A whirlwind, for sure.

-Fun fact! This is the only song in Schoolhouse Rock to consistently go over the three minute limit. All Scooter Computer episodes are three minutes minus their intros, and Three Is A Magic Number and My Hero, Zero, while initially being more than three minutes, were cut down due to false information and time constraints respectively. Since this episode wasn't aired on TV, it was able to go over three minutes.

37. 🖋Lolly Lolly Lolly Get Your Adverbs🟥

Very quaint setting, and I enjoy the premise. The adverbs store makes for some elaborate visuals despite the limited color palette. I also enjoy the little interludes between verses where the owners film their TV commercials, very cute. A classic in these aspects, but oh god the chipmunk vocals… I initially didn’t find them too annoying, but they wear horribly quickly. Don’t even care how packed and fun the lyrics are because I just dislike the vocals so damn much. The characters also aren’t too compelling, which holds it back further because I honestly don’t care much for the Lolly family. Finally, I’ve heard lots of people praise the instrumental, but I don’t quite get it, as it’s sort of just the standard Schoolh

-Lowest placement in Grammar Rock

36. 🖋A Noun Is a Person, Place, or Thing

I heard someone describe this song as "harmless" once, and yeah, that's a good way of summing it up. It's definitely one of the most generic Schoolhouse Rock songs. It does not instill much emotion, but it's definitely not bad! In fact, I think this is where the songs start truly getting good. It's pretty breezy and blows by quick. There's some cool instruments used, like when you can hear kazoo in the Mrs. Jones verse, or a flute in the ferry verse. It's dynamic enough to be praised, but not so dymanic that it's truly standout. Animation is simple, but not great or bad. The characters are okay. Those are both middle of the road. I will say, this is one of Lynn Ahren's best deliveries. I'm not a big fan of most of her songs, or at least most of her deliveries, but I like this more relaxed one from her. She's not pushing herself too hard, and that's good for a song like this. That's really it, it's good, but not great enough to stand out from the crowd.

35. 🧪A Victim of Gravity 🟥👍

This song would probably be higher up if I was a fan of the doo-wop style it goes for. It really does sound nice, don't get me wrong, but this is probably the only song very heavily skewed based on preference. Your mileage may vary. It's a pretty fun animation though! Like, really, I don't have much on this song besides that the greaser guy is fun and the rest is not for me.

-Fun fact! This is the only Schoolhouse Rock song to be primarily sung by a preexisting band- Performed by The Tokens -Lowest placement in Science Rock

34. 💲Walkin' On Wall Street

Another entry from newcomer Money Rock, Walkin’ On Wall Street has a few attributes that are nice, but don’t do too much to set it apart from the crowd. The most obvious thing is the artstyle; I love how experimental they got with the SHR art style in this season, and this is one of the more radical changes that goes over pretty darn well. I like Lester and Leroy, they’rw a fun duo, and the newsboy is fun although mor as iconic as Fireworks’ newsboy. The instrumental is nice and jazzy, and that’s about the end of my praise. Dave Frishburg has a distinct voice when he wants to. In his other song, $7.50 Once a Week, he’s got a nice Bostonian accent that makes the way he stretches his words more interesting, but he supresses not just that, but also a lot of his range. He doesn’t have much of one in his other appearances, but $7.50 had a lot more variety in his tones. Same with instrumentals. Not to compare too much, but it never changes a lot and it’s a little boring when lots of other songs from Money Rock have better style. The style points from the animation are big helps, but it falls a little short sonically, and since that’s what I’m mostly basing this on, this song places lower.

-Lowest placement for Dave Frishburg

33. 🇺🇲The Shot Heard Round the World

I have a love-hate relationship with this song, as in I both love and hate everything it does. Bob Dorough's voice is stern and aggressive at points, which is great for the feel it's going for and the subject, but it makes for some really bland deliveries. The animation is a fun twist on the Schoolhouse Rock style, and I like how the people look, but a lot of really stiff, stilted moments. The instrumental is consistently strong, but there's not enough fluctuation. I'm really hot and cold on this song. On a good day you could see this around the mid twenties, and on a bad day this could be in the bottom ten. I dunno, ask me tomorrow and my ranking will probably change.

32. 🧪The Greatest Show on Earth/The Weather Show ⚡👍

The episode that was almost lost... A.K.A. essentially the precursor for Tax Man Max. It's definitely a more developed version of that Broadway feel, not in style, but actually format. It's divided into a three-act structure, which is a pretty endearing way to structure it. I'm a fan. As for sound, though, it's nothing special really. Instrumental is alright, but I'm not a big fan of Bob Kaliban's voice. Not that it's bad, it's just not great like Dorough's or Sheldon's, or even interesting like Patrick Donovan's or Dave Frishburg's beyond the I'm gonna assume British accent he's got. But the character he's attached to??? So fun. I love the little broadway guy, he's so bouncy and goofy and great... I often see Greatest Show on Earth ranked way down with Tax Man Max, usually right next to it, and a common reason between the two is that no one likes the Weather Show guy or Max. That's one of the only aspects I find consistently stellar between the two. Weather Show guy is so awesome. The ladies he performs with kind of look like fish, though. Not a fan of how they're stylized, but the singers attached to them are serviceable. There's specific sections I really like about this song- the opening and closing segments sandwiching the acts come to mind, but the rest is just okay. Coloring is also pretty good here! It keeps up the respectable trait of Science Rock that is a lack of plain white backgrounds, which I'm glad for. Comparing the various aspects of this song is like a rollercoaster: Lots of highs and lows, but unlike a rollercoaster it's not super exciting.

-Fun fact! This song was pulled from airing during a copyright dispute with the Ringling Bros. over the phrase "The Greatest Show on Earth," a term trademarked for their circus. The episode remained unaired from then until it was changed to remove any mention of the phrase, including the title, which was changed to merely "The Weather Show." I personally listened to the original version for this ranking, though there isn't much difference.

31. 🖋Unpack Your Adjectives

This is a far more chipper tune than Figure Eight, which initially may seem like a negative when you read the feedback I had on Blossom Dearie's ghostly, creepy doll-esque delivery, but she works just as well as a cheery little girl on her way back from a camping trip. Yeah, the premise here is pretty cute, big fan of Molly the camper and her little turtle guy. Love their little camping adventure and how it ties into the way they label everything with adjective signs. I think adjectives, despite them literally being describing words, thus conveying things such as physical traits that'd make the animation easier, are one of the hardest parts of speech to make an entire song around. You can make it, but making it compelling is the thing. Giving a little bite-sized story along with the facts. And this definitely held 4-year-old me's attention. The flute really shines in the instrumental, which is really cool because this song has a strong lightweight feel that goes very well with everything else. And the animation is colored in the watercolor style Elbow Room had, but taken up a notch further; It looks like whiteboard markers at some point. The simple, airy colors finish off this very consistent, overall good song. Cute, but as much praise as I've given it, it's not great, and definitely not my favorite. Dearie's deliveries still aren't as great as they are in Figure Eight, and a few sections such as the section on comparisons fall a little short of the podium. I also would have liked a little more color, as the white patches make the coloring look half-finished.

-Highest placement for Blossom Dearie

30. 🧪Do the Circulation

Great song, don’t get me wrong, but you have to be in the mood for it. This is another touchy one for me, because everything ties into the premise super well. Which is great! I love that it truly embraces the creativity! It's going for a dance craze type thing, hence the title, and it's exactly what you think when you hear it. I'm shocked that the women singing, Joshie Armstead, Mary Sue Berry, and Maeretha Stewart, weren't already performing together before this, because they have great synergy. There's a few times where they harmonize and it doesn't sound great, but for the most part they're pretty great. The song keeps its pace very well, like by the halfway point it barely feels like a minute has passed. Characters are mostly cool too! Though overall the animation is a little plain. It's sort of like A Victim of Gravity, where I'm overall just not the world's biggest fan of this sort of style. There's days where it'll hit hard and I'll listen a couple times, and days where I don't wanna be anywhere near it, so I think near the middle of the list is where I'd average it.

29. 💲Where the Money Goes

The artstyle of this short falls somewhere in the middle of the more faithful Money Rocks and the experimental ones, where it definitely keeps the spirit of old Schoolhouse Rock, but it features a choppier framerate with thinner lineart and chunky shadows/highlights. I'm a fan of it, and I love the dad and his little tuba kid, Red(as confirmed in a design sheet shown off on the DVD!). They're such a fun duo, and the ending where Red can't even fit into the bus with the tuba did get me to chuckle. Since this is about family finances, it takes place in a more domestic setting, but it doesn't utilize that in a particularly outstanding way like, for example, The Tale of Mr. Morton. Rather than focus on details, the backgrounds are simple gradients, which is a little disappointing since this came out after that short. They don't really run away with the subject either, which totally makes sense and isn't really their fault as it's a pretty grounded concept, but it's not very replayable because of that. A good showing from Money rock, but there's better coming up.

28. 🧪Electricity, Electricity ⚡👍

Holy crap is this song a bombshell. This is top 15, possibly top 10 sonically. Zachary Sanders has a hell of a voice, and he doesn’t flex it too much here, but there’s a few little vocal flairs here and there that are so endearing. The delivery of “Turn that generator by any means” still has me closing my eyes and humming contentedly. The recurring utterance of “Electricity, eeee-lec-tri-city!” every ten or so seconds never gets boring no matter how repetitive it is, and it’s such an earworm that no matter how little I used to think about the show, something as simple as flicking on a lightswitch would make the melody buzz around in my head for a bit. It’s sticky in a really stellar way. The instrumental is bouncy and really helps carry things along, and it’s not my fave but a few stray guitar strums keep my ears open. The music does a bangup job of carrying this thing, which is good, because the animation really brings it down… It isn’t too special at first. The main overalls guy and the sheep are cute and kinda funny sometimes, but they aren’t my fave characters. The fatal flaw of this short, however, is the rapid flashing of “ELECTRICITY” onscreen every time the word is said. It isn’t small like in Telegraph Line, or short like Tax Man Max or The Check’s In the Mail, but it takes up the entire screen and can last upwards of four seconds at a time. If you aren’t epileptic, you’ll probably have a headache by the end of it. I know I get one sometimes. I was scared of this short as a kid because of the flashing lights. The fact that maybe a third of this animation is just “ELECTRICITY” in yellow and black flashing at my sensetive little blue eyes is not sliding. Killer short with a killer flaw.

-Fun fact! This song is why I have the epilepsy/eyestrain warning symbol. It was sort of just a booby prize for this song, as the flashing lights were so common and large, the Disney+ version slows down the lights. This happens in most others with the lightning bolt emoji next to them, but those are lesser instances; The slowed lights make the Disney+ version of this song actively worse, as parts are slowed in a way that leaves some animation sequences incomplete. -Lowest placement for Zachary Sanders

[nwodsecondchances2e]

Stigmatic Herald (Demon-Beast Crossover)

Andrew Miller has seen a lot of shit after over three decades of life as a stigmatic. He’s met most of the other things lurking in London’s shadows, been a part of nearly a dozen cults, murdered Unchained, fought alongside Agencies he’d previously tried to kill and made a name for himself among mortal occultists who have no idea what else is out there. He has one unshakable belief that guides everything he does: the conviction that the God-Machine is broken.

Andrew’s first encounter with the supernatural had actually been with the Begotten, although exposure to the God-Machine’s gears is what ensured his life would never be normal. As far as Andrew figures, there isn’t a good reason for demons and angels to be so antithetical to Beasts. They are both occult forces, and while grounded in different principles, Andrew ultimately believes in a unified reality. His hypothesis is that the God-Machine is out of sync with the rest of the occult universe, which is why Beasts react poorly to it and is the cause for its seemingly contradictory directives. It has taken years of preparation, but he feels he is finally in a position to do something about it. 

Andrew wormed his way into the good graces of Ida Max, an Inguma Tyrant whose Horror reflected the fear of impossibly human-like machines. Andrew pushed Ida towards expanding her Lair and Legend in ways reflecting technology and machinery. While Ida couldn't develop Family Ties with the Unchained or the God-Machine’s angels, Andrew helped her forge bonds with other stigmatics, psychics, and stranger beings touched by the God-Machine. When Ida created her cult, Andrew became her Herald and began executing his plan. While Ida is more physically powerful than Andrew, he knows how to run a cult while making her feel like she is in control. 

Now, Andrew is in the final phases of his plan. He’s started pushing Ida towards Inheritance, and while he’d prefer she become an Incarnate, an Unfettered or Rampart would also serve his purposes. As much as Andrew genuinely appreciates Ida, she has always been a means to an end for him. If he must sacrifice her to heal God, so be it. 

If Andrew could still pass as an ordinary human, he’d look plain. Messy black hair, a body that’s gone slightly to seed, and a face that refuses to stand out all help blend in with a crowd. They also disguise his powerful, magnetic personality. When Andrew talks, he makes you believe whatever he is saying, regardless of how far-fetched it sounds. Between his stigmata and Ida’s influence over her Herald, Andrew lands solidly within the uncanny valley these days. His skin is slightly matte and rubbery, giving those who look at it the impression it is synthetic rather than organic. The veins under his skin are silvery rather than blue, appearing far more like circuitry than a circulatory system. His voice is distorted and synthetic like it is coming through a bad radio or an autotuner that’s gone too far. 

Legend: Relentless Life: Selfless Aspirations: Recruit new cultists, Convince Ida to undergo Inheritance, Fix the God-Machine Attributes: Intelligence 4, Wits 3, Resolve 3; Strength 2, Dexterity 2, Stamina 2; Presence 4, Manipulation 5, Composure 2 Skills: Academics 1 (Religion), Computers 4, Crafts 4, Occult 3 (Cults), Politics 2, Science 2; Drive 2, Firearms 2, Larceny 1; Empathy 3 (Emotional Weaknesses), Intimidation 1, Persuasion 4, Socialize 2, Streetwise 2, Subterfuge 5  Merits: Anonymity 1, Aura Reading, Eidetic Memory (Advanced), Fast Reflexes 3 (Advanced), Omen Sensitivity, Unseen Sense (God-Machine), Unseen Sense (Primordial Dream) Health: 7 Willpower: 5 Integrity: 4 Size: 5 Speed: 9 Defence: 2 Initiative: +7 (include Fast Reflexes)