Tumgik
#sorry if there’s errors or is bad idk 😭
Text
I've decided to contribute to the Miguel nation even though I was almost a year late
I present to you…. Brother's best friend! Miguel! A drabble…. (Might turn this into a full fic idk)
Cw: Brother's best friend trope, grammatical errors, fem reader, possibly OOC Miguel, this is more like a flashback really since it's focus is more on Miggy and reader's childhood, this is kinda long wth 😭
Bbf! Miguel who has been friends with your brother since middle school, would often play in your brother's room when they were younger. As typical boys do, they'd play video games. He doesn't mind when you want to join them. He finds it endearing whenever you try to put your stuffed animals on the Legos they built, claiming they're people or something like that.
Bbf! Miguel who defends little you whenever some mean kids try to bully you, is taller than the average kid, making him intimidating. When this happens, he stands behind the bullies, towering over them with a menacing glare and arms folded. All he has to do is say something like "scram" or "leave," and the kids your age run away. Then, when you're feeling sad or upset, he treats you to ice cream to cheer you up.
Bbf! Miguel who helps you pull pranks on your brother, sometimes he’d be surprised you were able to pull off a bit extreme pranks but he’d be happy to do it for shits and giggles.
Bbf! Miguel who helps patch up your wounds whenever you have a little accident in the midst of pulling a prank on your brother all while speaking to you in the gentlest of ways to calm you down. "can you get up? no? All alright I'll carry you then” Your eleven-year-old mind panics when he easily carries you.
Bbf! Miguel who defends you against your older brother, Leo, gets into an argument whenever he can, Leo’s older, and can handle himself, while you are 4 almost 5 years younger than them and therefore helps you whenever he can, it’s just not fair sometimes.
He stood by the side of Leo’s room, witnessing the fight between you and your brother, 13-year-old Leo yelling at you for breaking his model aeroplane. “I Told you not to come in here without my permission!” Leo huffed, “I’m sorry! I-I just want to look at it” You defended yourself but Leo wasn’t having it,” Well now look at it! It’s broken!” little you are almost on the brink of tears, that’s when he stepped in. “come on now, the wing is the only one that’s broken, I’m sure we can fix it,” he said, trying to cool down the argument, Your brother stormed out of his room to cool off leaving you with Miguel “Are you okay Chiquita?” he asked and you shook your head a small sniffle escaped you as you try to justify yourself “I didn’t mean it” little you murmured as you look up at him with teary eyes, he sighed as he took the broken plane and its wing “hey, it’s okay yeah? Leo just needs to cool off, with the help of a super glue I’m sure we can fix this” he reassured you with a little ruffle on your head and grabbed the super glue to fix the broken model plane with his best friend’s little sister.
Bbf! Miguel got his heart broken for the first time because the girl he’s been crushing didn’t like him back because he was “too nerdy” for her liking, Leo brought it up during dinner when your mom asked how your day went and you were saddened for him, who wouldn’t like Miguel? He’s kind, understanding, and funny, he may be too intimidating because of his more-than-average height but that’s his outside appearance! He’s really sweet on the inside… wait…. Why are you thinking like that about him? Nevermind that.
Bbf! Miguel showed up the next day at your house since he and Leo needed to finish a project that’s due tomorrow, eyes puffy and a bit dishevelled from crying, you felt bad despite your brother calling him out that he looks like shit. Miguel didn’t deserve this, so you, the ever loving little sister of his best friend decided to go buy something for him.
Bbf! Miguel who walked out of your house to head home since the project they’ve been working on is finished, “Miguel!” you called out to him with a small paper bag in hand, you catch up to him panting heavily, have you been running? You held out the small paper “Umm.... I’m sorry about what happened yesterday… Leo told me… I mean he told mom when she asked how our day went” you rumbled, you were too busy making sure the treat in your hand stayed warm that you haven’t thought about what to say to him! “… anyways theseareforyouIhopeyoufeelbetter'' you said rather too quickly and before he could say anything you ran away and inside your house too flustered to face him, he took a peek inside the bag and a small smile was painted on his lips, warm empanadas from his favourite store, oh how sweet of you…
Bbf! Miguel who's taken the rejection to heart, maybe much of a nerd after all and that needed to change, so day by day he changed himself, no longer wearing those thick-framed glasses instead he opted for contact lenses, the baggy shirt that has corny science jokes were now nowhere to be seen and he's even doing a little workout to build his tall lanky body, of course, this was never unnoticed to you, who wouldn't notice your brother's best friend slowly gaining muscle and lean body type? You're happy for him of course but a part of you hoped that he did it because he wanted to and not because he's pressured by society's views of him, you like the nerd him? he's cute!
Bbf! Miguel who's never seen you so down in the dumps before, usually your beams and silliness can rival the sun itself but now you're gloomier than the night sky. He asked your brother about it and he didn't expect the reason for your sudden gloominess.
“Ah, she's just upset because no one gave her a Valentine's gift” your brother nonchalantly said as he played on his computer, his series of curses from losing the game was blurred out and in his peripheral vision, he only saw you, without saying any word he left your brother's room and approached you. You can hear the low vibrato of his voice as he approaches you “Hey” he greeted and sat down beside you “You okay?” he asked with his usual gentleness and you looked at him “I don't know… do I look okay?” you mumbled sassily which took him aback but sighed “I… I don't even know why I'm upset, it's just a silly day, it's not even a holiday! it's just a stupid day to have an excuse to ask your crush out or chow down chocolates” you mumbled bitterly, really it's a childish thing to be upset about something small like this, but Miguel didn't think so, no, he’s been there and he knows how it feels, Miguel didn't say anything but pats your head gently, his way to console you.
Bbf! Miguel who had surprised you on a random Friday afternoon with a box of your favourite chocolate and a pink coloured rose “Here” he said as he handed you the gifts, your eyes widened in surprise but took them “What's with this?” you asked but he shrugged in response “For you” he didn't show but it was amusing to him (and kinda cute) to see the sparkle in your eyes shine although it was short-lived “you didn't have to do this you know?” you mumbled, as much as you appreciated his effort you didn't want him to do that out of pity, again your brother's best friend shrugged “It’s not out of pity, it's for you, pink roses for appreciation" and that got you thinking “appreciation? for what? what did I do?” you asked him genuinely curious as to why “just existing, we've known each other for years-” “but I'm not your best friend” you cut him off “who said you have to be my best friend for me to show you my appreciation?” he asked you and in turn you weren't able to say anything, too surprised to utter a single word. He called your name softly, “I appreciate you, not because you're Leo's sister, but my friend, one of the closest, as embarrassing as it sounds but I cannot deny the truth, you have a certain charm I'm drawn to, you make me smile easily, you understand me, and don't tell Leo about this but at least with you I'm slightly more comfortable” he said with a small smile.
Before you could say anything Leo called out Miguel's name and he left right after, a hand on your chest to ease the beating of your heart and butterflies on your stomach. And in that moment, you realized you had fallen for your brother's best friend.
----
Omg why is posting stuff online so anxiety inducing?! Anyways Likes and reblogs are highly appreciated! If you have feed backs I'm more than eager to hear them (just be kind please) 🩷
19 notes · View notes
concreteburialplot · 2 months
Text
Intertwined // 05
Tumblr media
-> 05 - Girl Crush*
pairing; noah sebastian x nicholas ruffilo
masterlist; here | crossposted; ao3 | word count; 10.3k 😅
warnings; sad lol, dumb boys, mutual masturbation, p0rn, alcohol, peer pressure, vomiting, college!omens, jolly intro, gay panic & very mild gender confusion??, denial is a river in egypt, 18+ MDNI
REMINDER: this is an au where everyone is around the same age, follows no actual timelines/events, and uses oc's for family members.
a/n: don't like it don't read it. don’t be mean for no reason & let others enjoy things thnx :)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
-NICHOLAS- 
It had been about a month since Noah moved out completely and was fully living with us. It wasn’t that difficult of a transition since he stayed with us most of the time anyway. He seemed to be finally settling in and getting comfortable, which I was happy about.
Him living in my house wasn’t the only thing that became comfortable - in fact maybe we’d gotten too comfortable. 
That first night weeks ago, where we took care of our morning wood next to each other, wasn’t the last time. It started as that one time thing, then an occasional thing, then finally, a casual thing. Neither one of us seemed to take it seriously, maybe to play off the implications of it. Because what else are you supposed to do when you jack off next to your best friend regularly?
It became so casual, sometimes as if the other wasn’t there.
--
My half-asleep ears fill with the faint sounds of moans, accompanied by restrained groans I recognize. The more I wake I feel movement behind me.
I stir a bit before turning around finding Noah pumping himself under the covers while holding his phone in the other. He jumps a little when I catch him but doesn’t stop. His actions only halt temporarily.
“Sorry if I woke you up.” He says bashfully, baby pink tinting his cheeks.
“It’s fine.” I gulp, my eyes drifting to the obscene noises coming from his phone. “Whatcha watching?”
He shrugs, tilting his phone to me, revealing the most generic looking porn I’ve ever seen. But porn is porn and it makes my already semi-hard dick twitch. “You wanna… watch too?”
My cheeks grow warm at the offer, “Oh, um, I mean, I don’t wanna intrude…” Though, I can’t help my eyes from being glued to the screen.
He shifts a bit and reaches over, setting the phone down between us propped up in a divot of comforter. In the clumsy process, the duvet slides off his lap revealing his cock.
My eyes widen at the sight of him but I immediately divert my attention so that he doesn’t catch me and assume something else.
“Oh sorry.” He blushes and goes to cover himself again but pauses, “Actually, do you mind? I just don’t wanna deal with the mess and-“
“I don’t mind.” I reply faster than intended. I shake my head, “I just don’t wanna… do that. But I don’t care if you do.”
“Cool.” He nods and returns to his previous position with his eyes locked on the screen.
There’s a panicky heartbeat lingering in my chest but the throbbing in my cock takes precedence. I relax a bit beside him and life the duvet higher up on my body, trying to cover as much of myself as possible.
I spit into my hand before dipping it beneath the covers and down around my member, working it out from my shorts. A hiss leaves my mouth at the coldness of my palm but it doesn’t take long for that discomfort to fade.
My eyes begin on the phone, to the blonde woman with large unnaturally perky breasts being railed by some strong man with a big dick, something you’d find on the first page of any porn site. Not my usual cup of tea but whatever, it’s doing something for me right now.
Naturally, my eyes drift and happen to fall on Noah’s cock. His large hand works up and down his member – he’s duo-toned darker at the base and lighter towards the tip, kind of like me just much pinker. I glance between him and the man in the video. He’s smaller than the man, but he’s definitely not small. The video is obviously emphasizing the man’s large size, but he’s still smaller than me, not by much but he is. It makes me wonder if Noah would be impressed by my size.
Why would I think that? What do I care if Noah’s impressed by my dick?
Noah’s probably not even looking at him like that, I’m just weird I guess.
As if on cue, Noah comments.
“I wish my dick was that big.”
Not wanting to stay uncomfortably silent, I nervously chuckle, “Yeah me too.”
“Well, how big are you?” He asks casually.
My eyes nearly pop out of my head. Surely, he doesn’t actually wanna know.
“Oh – oh, I don’t know, but I don’t wanna take the covers off because-“
Noah proposes a solution, “I could feel?”
“I uh – what do you mean?”
“Like, feel it under the covers. So, I can’t see it. That’s what you’re insecure about isn’t it?”
“Um, I, well,” I stutter, trying to think of any sort of appropriate response. I should say no. I shouldn’t want him to do that. But something in me screams that this might be the only time this could happen – not sure why that’s even important. “Um, sure.”
I scooch a little closer to him so it’s easier for him to reach. Unexpectedly, he brings his free hand up to his mouth and spits into it. My eyebrows furrow at the action, not quite understanding why that’s necessary. But when his arm snakes itself under the covers and his hand replaces mine, I’m suddenly not as confused.
My eyes round at the feeling of his hand around me and every muscle in my body tenses when he starts moving.
“Jesus, you’re pretty big.” He says before his hand even reaches my tip.
Suddenly, all the nerves in my body seem to flood to cock and I feel so sensitive under his fingertips. I should be watching the video, but my eyes bounce between his still working on himself and on his other one bobbing under the covers. I can’t tell fully, but it seems like he’s pumping himself faster than before.
His palm reaches the head then slowly slides back down. “You’re so much bigger than me.” His voice seeming casual, but there’s a hint of strain beneath it.
His words and his even faster movements on both of us only worsens the buzzing in my cock.
“Is this okay? I just, I’ve only ever felt my own dick so, I’ve only ever imagined what having a bigger one would feel like.”
“Yeah, yep. It’s fine.” I reply quickly, just trying to maintain my composure.
My chest rises and falls rapidly and my fingers curl into the sheets. A familiar knot forms in the pit of my tummy and the last thing I want to do is cum while he’s touching me. His hand moves on me at the same speed as on his own. His fingertips stride up and down the underside of my length, hitting the sensitive spot beneath my tip every time. My lips press flat together as I try to stave off my orgasm – I don’t want to cum while he’s touching me, but I also don’t want him to stop.
Thankfully he has less stamina than I do.
“Ah, fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He groans, working quickly on himself chasing his climax. “Fuck, fuck!” He whines desperately. His hand doesn’t stop on me while his hips buck up into his hand spurting milky white all over his exposed tummy.
The visual of his cock twitching and spilling cum all over his hand, combined with his high pitched moans and his hand on me catapults me over the edge. “F-Fuck.” I sputter out a strangled groan and scrunch my eyes closed. Before I have time to yank him off of me, my body goes rigid beneath him. The buzzing across my skin seems to all rush into my throbbing cock in Noah’s still moving hand. “O-Oh.” Slips from my mouth just above a whisper while every muscle in my abdomen tightens. I feel myself twitch and spill my own cum into the duvet and all over his hand.
The orgasm nearly blinds my vision and my heart beats so fast I can hear it thumping in my ears. Those couple seconds where it was just me, my racing heart and my throbbing cock, it was pure bliss. Possibly the hardest I’ve ever came before. 
It’s not until I begin to come down that I realize what just happened and that… he worked me fully through my high? 
My eyes shoot open the second I return to earth and feel his hand finally slip off my softening member. For a split second I contemplate if there’s a way for me to get out of this without even looking at him and god I wish there was. 
Fuck
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-” I begin to profusely apologize before he cuts me off. 
He laughs, “It’s okay. I’m sure having someone else’s hand probably feels a lot better than your own. Even if it had been you I probably would’ve came even faster than normal… and you know I already don’t last long as it is.” He chuckles with a light peach tinting his cheeks.
One part of me feels bad that I hadn’t returned the favor, until I remember I didn’t really even want to do this to begin with. Then, another part of me wishes I had returned the favor, maybe I wanted to know the same thing he did - maybe I want to know what another cock would feel like in my hand too. 
“Yeah - um,” I swallow the little saliva I have left in my dry mouth. “Yeah it was nice.” 
He pulls his hand from beneath the covers. “So much for not making a mess.” He laughs. 
My eyes round when I see just how much I had spilt all over his hand. “Yeah, yeah sorry again, I just didn’t think that…” My eyes follow his stare on the milky white mess of mine on his hand. 
His coffee brown eyes snap up to mine and utters out the last words I ever thought he’d say. “Have you ever tasted your own cum?”
I blink blankly at him, completely devoid of words. 
What the fuck
“I-I um, no? Why would I?” 
“I don’t know, curiosity?”
“…Have you?”
“Well, yeah, I wanted to know.” He shrugs. “It was gross, bitter. But,” His eyes flutter back down to his hand. “I’ve obviously never tasted anyone else’s. I wonder if yours tastes different?”
My brain seems to glitch, not fully comprehending his statement. 
“I-I um, I mean, probably.”
“Would it be super weird if I tasted it?”
My brows shoot up at the question. 
But I reply before I’m even sure of my answer. “No, I um, don’t think it would be that weird?” 
And it wouldn’t be, right?
He’s just curious.
Just like he was about my cock. 
“Alright.” His tone much less confident than just seconds ago. 
His dark brown eyes drop to the puddle of my cum on his right hand, just above where his thumb meets his hand. He lifts it tentatively up to his mouth; my eyes can’t help but rotate between his face and his approaching hand. Hesitantly, he darts his pink tongue past his lips to dip the tip of it into the puddle. Unexpectedly, his eyes find mine, snapping me out of my gaze that was locked on his tongue. His mahogany eyes surprise me, with how round and soft they are - so puppy dog-like for a situation such as this. I blink at him and for some reason, seeing him flatten his tongue a bit on the remnants of me makes my cock twitch. He takes a scoop of my orgasm on his tongue and into his mouth. 
“Hm.” He hums, almost sounding pleased, like he was taste-testing wine. “You taste better than me. Sweeter. Must be all those bananas you eat.”
Sweeter
My brows join together, perturbed, “It can’t be that different?”
His boney shoulders raise into a shrug. “You can try mine if you want? To make it even or whatever.” He gestures his left hand up a bit to remind me that his mess remains on that hand too. 
“Oh - I - well -“ I watch his hand gesture towards me again. The turbulence in my tummy reminds me of when someone offers you a gift and out of politeness, you’re supposed to refuse it - but I don’t want to refuse. I want to know.
“Oh c’mon it’s only fair, it’s not that bad.” He urges me, only reaffirming my inability to voice a decline. 
I look down at the back of his hand covered in cloudy white rivers. My fingers gently take hold of his wrist and he lets me take control of his arm without a single ounce of resistance. I bring his hand to my lips and copy his actions - dart my tongue out and meet his eyes. His are just as intrigued as mine were, locked in my tongue. 
The second his cum meets my taste buds, my eyes flutter closed. I’m surprised at the taste, it’s bitter and salty, what I imagine battery acid must taste like. The texture is about what I imagined, thick and slimy. And yet, even with the immediate disgust of it, it makes my cock twitch again. There’s a tingle in my fingertips and on my tongue that urges me to lap up the rest of his orgasm but I fear if I did, I’d be completely hard again. I never thought something as rancid as battery acid would make me hard, but for some reason right now it’s threatening to. 
I’ve never been more grateful for anything more than the duvet on my body right now. 
I half-force a twist in my face at the taste as I pull back from his arm. “Augh, that’s disgusting.” 
He lets out a hearty laugh, “See! Told ya.” 
A nervous chuckle escapes me, “That you did…” 
Tumblr media
-Next Day- 
Since landing an apprenticeship at a local tattoo parlor, I don’t see much of either Noah or Folio. While I’m at work after class, they’ve been hanging out at the library in a study group full of people I barely know - people from the frat party a couple weeks ago. 
Today though, I got off my shift early and I’m on a different mission. 
-
My tires screech and the weight of my entire body jerks forward as Stella makes another abrupt stop at a redlight. My hand lands on my dash as a reflex I had gotten far too familiar with.
My tongue passes between my lips before pressing them together and close my eyes through a deep breath. I consider myself a fairly patient person, but if there’s anyone on earth who could get me to snap, it is definitely my sister.
“I told you to start braking 5 million feet ago.” I exhaled with the hopes of Buddha himself coming down and bestowing me with a well-deserved medal of excellent patience.
“Whatever, we still stopped, didn’t we?” She sasses, as she continues to dance to whatever pop song pours through the speakers.
“Yeah, barely.” I grumble, crossing my arms in the passenger seat. “I have no idea how they let you pass your driver’s test.”
“You are so grouchy today.” She glares at me. “What, did the shop bully you again?”
My eyes roll so hard they could’ve fallen out. “No.” I clench my fingers into my palms and stretch them out as overlayed flashbacks of scrubbing every inch of the tattoo parlor flash across my mind. “No, I just cleaned a lot. Fumes. Headache.”
“Right.” She responds unconvinced.
The car takes a sharp turn into a plaza I’ve only ever driven past before and pulls into a parking spot right in front of the destination of my mission.
“We’re here!” She beams, turning the engine off.
We walk up to the small shop snuggled in the tiny strip. The walls look like they were once white, a long, long time ago. Now they’re stained a yellow-y beige with weeds and vines growing across the plaster.
“’Record Store. Plus repairs.’” I read off the giant red letters above the door. “How creative.”
Stella’s elbow sharply jabs into my ribcage. “Ow!” I hiss and recoil away from her. 
“Be nice. Be cool.” She scolds me in a hushed tone.
Whatever the fuck ‘nice and cool’ means to a teenage girl.
A bell trills sharply when she pushes open the glass door. A rush of cold AC blasts against our skin soon as we step into the foyer. 
At the tall reception desk stands a man with lengthy brown hair and a long face. He looks a couple years older than me, at least 23ish.
“Hi Jolly!” Perks Stella almost jumping the second her fingertips meet the glossy wood.
My teeth dig into my bottom lip in an attempt to stifle a giggle when I see the man noticeably deflate the moment he hears the shrill chirp of my sister’s 16-year old voice.
He sets down his pen on whatever paperwork he was working on and turns to us, “Hello Stella.” He greets flatly, with a hint of a foreign accent I can’t place yet.
It’s quite obvious that she comes in here often, more than she’s let on – enough for them to be on a first-name basis.
“Jolly, this is my brother Nick, Nick this is Jolly.” She beams at his name, completely smitten with the older boy. If it wasn’t so obvious that he’s irritated by her mere presence, I’d be more protective of her - but she’s perfectly fine. She’s made sure of that herself.  
“Hey.” I meekly wave at him.
He acknowledges me with a nod and looks back at her. “What’s up.”
“Well, we need your help!” She rocks up and down on her feet with her hands behind her back.
“Great. What is it you need help with?” His fingertips restlessly patter on the table top, impatiently waiting for her to deliver her pitch faster. 
“Go on Nick, show him.” She urges motioning her hand towards him.
I sigh and pull out my phone from my jean’s back pocket, then scroll to find a picture of Noah’s snapped guitar and hand it to the man.
“Could you fix that? Or know someone who could?” I inquire, already feeling as though the trip was hopeless.
His brows pull together as he inspects the picture then uses two fingers to zoom in on the instrument. “Whoever did this really did a number on it.”
“Yeah.” I mumble, scratching the back of my neck. “So, do you think you could fix it?”
“Hmm.” He hums, pulling down his thick-rimmed glasses down his nose. “I can’t say for sure, you’d have to bring it in.”
Air escapes my throat with another sigh, that’s the last thing I wanted to hear. “Okay. I’ll get it in as soon as I can.” Even though I have no idea how I’ll be able to do that without Noah noticing.
He hands me back my phone, “That’s a really rough break.”
“Trust me, I know. Thanks for looking.” My tone suddenly lacking optimism. “And sorry about…” When I turn to point at Stella, I realize she’s not beside me anymore, now shuffling through the various wooden crates of records. “Her.”
He taps his pen against the counter and glances over at her. “It’s fine. She brings friends in. They buy records. Sales are sales.” He shrugs before going back to whatever he was working on before we interrupted him.
Stella doesn’t seem to want to leave anytime soon so I let myself roam around the shop. The majority of the small store is made up of boxes full of records, a mix of old and new. A small, separated section has various instruments strewn about, most of them looking refurbished. The air is pungent with the smell of sandalwood incense, some kind of chemical-y polish, and stale wood.
“Okay! Ready to go!” Stella calls from behind me and when I turn to her she’s holding a record that I recognize.
“Since when do you listen to Nine Inch Nails?” My brow arches up, seeing as she’s only ever been a Taylor Swift type of girl.
She giggles, “Jolly suggested them.”
I take two fingers and pinch the bridge of my nose with a deep sigh, “Okay, whatever, let’s go.”
--
Stella and I walk into the house and my ears are immediately unsettled by the sounds that fill the house. They’re giggles, some I recognize to be Noah’s but the other is quite … feminine. 
The edges of Stella’s lip curl into a mischievous grin, “Oooooh Noah snuck a girl innnn.” She snickers in a sing-song tone.
“Go to your room Stella.” I order, mostly because her tone irritated me but also because I don’t want her to see what’s behind the cracked door.
She gives me a glare, “You’re just jealous that he’s getting some and you’re not.”
“Go. To. Your. Room.” I repeat sternly through gritted teeth.
“Fine, whatever. Be the party pooper you always are.” She huffs before turning down the hall and slamming the door behind her when gets to her room.
I blink at the doorknob as her words sear into my chest. I question even interrupting until another giggle pierces my eardrums.
I’m precarious with the way I approach the cracked door and peer in. Noah and the girl from the party, Kassidy, next to each other on the bed with open textbooks and notebooks littered about. They’re laughing at something but all I can focus on is her hand on his thigh. An odd twist forms in my abdomen, somewhere between my ribs and my gut. It makes me feel sick, like I ate some gas station sushi.
My knuckle taps on the door and creaks it open. “Hey.”
“Oh, hey Nick!” Noah seems surprised to see me but not necessarily upset by my presence, which for some reason eases the knot in my chest. “I heard a door slam did-”
It’s not until the blonde waves at me with the hand that’s not glued to Noah’s thigh that I realize the anger staining my fingertips.
“Noah, can I talk to you for a minute?” I ask through a fake smile.
“Sure.” He nods, “Be right back, Kass.”
Once the bedroom door clicks behind him, I feel myself begin to unravel.
“Does my mom know you’re bringing girls home?” I question, my voice coming out much harsher than intended.
“No…?” He answers. “I figured I would just do what we always did with each other? Sneak in.”
“Okay well, I don’t appreciate you bringing girls into my room. Please tell me you guys didn’t do anything in my bed.” The words shoot from me, quick and sharp, like acid bullets.
His face falls and I see the light behind his warm eyes dim.
My
Fuck
I regret the words the second I realize my mistake. Though I suppose on some level, deep down, I knew that the word choice would hurt him, but I said it anyway.
I said it anyway.
I was so upset that I said it anyway.
“No?” He replies sounding a bit offended at the accusation, even though it’s not out of the realm of possibility. “I wouldn’t do that in your bed.”
The impulse to lash back is there, bubbling just under my skin, but I have no reason to be angry. No valid, explainable reason. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Lie.
“Right.” Noah says softly but with a slight edge. “Well, I” He thumbs over his shoulder. “Um, she was just about to leave so.”
“Okay.” I reply quietly, suddenly overwhelmed with an odd mixture of anger and guilt.
-
While Noah escorts the girl out to say goodbye, I begin tidying up the room. Noah is pretty clean thankfully, so the room itself is clean, but I can’t shake the feeling of something oddly foreign within the four walls. The room suddenly feels so dirty and the taste on my tongue is sour like expired milk. My eyes land on the bed sheets and my stomach feels like I had drank expired milk – maybe 3 whole gallons of it. My mind struggles to account for the food I had eaten today but fails. Surely that is the reason for my abrupt nausea.
Before I can even process my actions, my fingers hungrily latch onto the bed sheets, snapping each fitted corner off the mattress. Heavy textbooks and pens hit the floor with a loud crash.
Despite having just washed them, I’m absolutely positive that they’re filthy.
Maybe they smelled too much like stagnant laundry this morning
Maybe they were making me itchy last night
Maybe I developed an allergy to our detergent
Maybe it’s been too warm and I soaked them in sweat
Or maybe I just want to clean the fucking sheets.
“Oh,” Noah’s gentle voice startles me from the doorway. His eyes trail up from the mess on the floor to the balled-up sheets beneath my palms. “Um, did I accidentally get highlighter on them or something?”
“Nope.” I’m quick to answer. “Just wanna wash ‘em.”
His brows furrow still looking at where my hands keep the shape of the large sphere of material. “Oh. Um, well. I just washed them like 2 or 3 days ago?”
“It’s fine, I just want to wash them again.” I respond shortly.
“Okay… well, let me do it then.” He crosses the space between us going for the sheets but I pull away.
“No. I got them, thanks.” I avoid him by swerving around his thin body and head towards the door.
 “Well, what can I do? I could mop again or… reorganize the fridge? Or…” He trails off, not being able to come up with much else.
“No, Noah. It’s Stella’s turn to mop and who the fuck offers to reorganize a fridge?” I snap at him from the doorway, “You don’t need to be cleaning the house 24/7, okay?”
His eyes falter but he nods “Oh, sorry, I um, I just wanna be doing my part. You know… earn my keep and all that? I just… wanna help.”
My face softens and the tight muscles in my shoulders ease. I feel guilt all over again. 
I sigh. “I’m sorry – I just - I just had a bad week with school and with the shop and,” I pause. “I didn’t mean to snap at you, okay?”
He nods and the edges of his mouth upturn ever so slightly into a tight-lipped smile. “Okay.” He pauses, fidgeting with his fingers. “Sorry about Kassidy. I should’ve asked.” He says quietly while his eyes drop to his anxious hands.
The tips of my fingers curl into the sheets a bit, a stream of… frustration maybe?  shoots through my veins. “It’s okay. I just don’t want my mom to get mad.”
A half lie.
“Right.”
When I turn to leave, he stops me, “Oh – I wanted to ask you something?”
My eyes widen while still turned away from him. A chill rolls up my spine at the realization that we’ve barely spoken since yesterday morning, when his hand was around my cock.
“Um sure, what’s up?” I turn back to him cautiously.
“Well, the fair is in town this weekend, I thought we could go? You know, me, you and Folio?”
I smile at him, relieved it wasn’t about something else. “Sure, sounds fun.”
Tumblr media
-Friday Night-
When Folio comes to pick us up, I immediately regret agreeing to carpool. The passenger side door flings open with yet another blonde in the front seat. This one a bit more of a natural, darker blonde and not nearly as bobblehead-like. She looks vaguely familiar, maybe she was one of the wannabe sorority girls from the frat party.
I sigh when I glance over to my busted blue car that’s been acting up every morning since the cold weather’s been getting closer.
The girl smiles wide at us and gets out so we can fold her chair to get to the backseat.
We squeeze our way to the back and naturally, Noah’s mile-long limbs take up most of the room.
The thick distinctive stench of paper-wrapped nicotine coats the cracking plastic of his car doors and the pungent aroma of $10-per-gram weed oozes from the stained beige seats.
Even though Nick brought his ‘friend’, I feel decent about the fair tonight. I mean these are the things we should be doing, right? Going out is what college kids do.
The girl hands back a plastic bottle wrapped in brown paper and Noah hungrily takes it.
“Vodka.” She says simply with a dazed smile.
“Cool.” Noah grins, though I know he’s never tasted pure vodka in his life.
He puts the bottle to his lips and tips it back, immediately scrunching his face in disgust at the taste. If it was just us, I know he would’ve spit it out.
He wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand, “Not bad.” He lies straight through his teeth.
Noah tips the bottle offering it to me. I shake my head and wave it off, “No, I’m good thanks.”
“Oh, c’mooonn Nick, don’t be a wuss.” Noah whines.
“Yeah Nick, loosen up! Have some fun!” Folio perks up from the driver's seat and watches me in the rearview mirror.
The last time he told me to “loosen up”, he ended up floundering in a lake so it hardly has an enticing ring to it.
“No really.” I reaffirm. “Not for me.”
Noah tsk’s and rolls his eyes, “You’re no fun.”
The words hit me square in the chest and my ribs mold around the letters like playdoh.
You’re no fun.
They’re simple words. Logically, I know they’re mostly a joke. Yet, they burn like a lit match colliding with white paper.
You’re no fun.
We’ve been friends for a long time. Long enough to sit in boring silence scrolling on our phones comfortably for hours. But now I’m no fun because I won’t drink out of a foreign bottle?
The searing in my lungs forces my hand to reach and snatch the bottle from him abruptly. I don’t think, I just do. I take the bottle to my lips and tilt my head back with scrunched-closed eyes. I chug, better he did and better than the girl, until the scorching of my throat gets too much.
I shove the bottle back at him, now an extra quarter empty. His face and every other face in the car seem shocked, eyes wide with slightly dropped jaws.
“What?” I hiss and let out a vodka-singed burp. “You told me to have fun.”
--
Nick’s wheels roll to a halt in the dirt of the fair’s extended parking. The crowded car disperses faster than I anticipated, leaving me alone in the empty car. I stumble out of my seat and precariously steady myself in the dirt to scan the parking lot for the group. The four of them are already ahead of me, nearly halfway to the entrance. Their laughter carries in the wind all the way back over to me. 
Once I catch up, I trail behind them quietly. My hands stuffed in my pockets and my Vans kicking up dry dirt, just trying to focus on walking in a straight line. 
As we approach the ticketing office, my heart plummets to my stomach when I see two familiar girls standing at the gate waiting for us. 
I should’ve known.
“Nicholas, you remember Brooke, right?” Noah grins and gestures to the carbon copy of every other sorority girl on campus.
“Yeah. Hey.”
That’s when I notice the delay in my words and the lag between my fingertips as I wave to her. And as we buy our tickets and make our way into the fair, I catch the warmth all over my skin and the growing numbness in my lips.
I think I’m drunk. Really drunk. 
 --
We make a solid lap around the entire park – picking up random snacks here and there, some fried oreos, a shared funnel cake, slushees, and more I can’t even remember. All the fried food mixed with the couple spin-y rides and the alcohol sloshing in my stomach, I was more than ready for an actual meal. I convinced everyone on hotdogs since it’s the cheapest food here and I’d already spent a good chunk of my tip money on ride tickets and overpriced junk food.
When we reach the window of the hotdog stand we’re met with a familiar face.
“Bryan!” Exclaims Folio, excited to see his fraternity mentor.
As always, Bryan looks about as thrilled as a mother of toddler triplets after a candy bender.
“Trout.” He replies unenthusiastically with his monotone cadence matching the deep sleep-deprived purple beneath his eyes.
Normally I would’ve giggled at Folio’s ridiculous nickname but my body was too focused on sustenance.  
“Two hotdogs and fries please.” I skip past the rest of the indecisive group.
“We’re out of fries.” He replies flatly.
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
He just shrugs, unbothered.
“Fine. Just the hotdogs then.” I huff.
“Coming right up.” He feigns enthusiasm.
The rest of the group place their orders and I can’t help but find amusement in how comical Bryan looks. He’s uniformed in a hotdog themed apron and a silly hotdog visor.
We finally make our way to a painted blue picnic table that sits off to the side away from the busy crowd. I’m grateful for the small respite from the overwhelming, overstimulating chatter.
I fucking hate hotdogs. Usually.
But the minute that meat and bread combo meets my tastebuds, it is as though heaven itself found home in my mouth.
The rest of table fades out as I devour my food and it is only when I’ve finished my 2nd dog that start regaining consciousness. I glance over at the boys who are in the midst of telling some story that’s got all the girls laughing.
My eyes land on Kassidy. She’s giggling at every single thing Noah says and he’s looking at her like she hung the moon. 
No matter how tacky or annoying she is, she’s still objectively beautiful – beautiful in a way I could never be.
The way she tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear, makes me want long blonde hair too. When she bats her fake lashes at him, it makes me wish mine were longer. Her nails adorned with white tips suddenly make my nailbeds feel bare. The foundation caked on her face reminds me of the breakout I have on my cheek and the stubble growing beneath my nostrils. All at once I’m disappointed with every bit of myself that isn’t like her.
A fleeting moment of curiosity passes pondering if this is what it feels like to question your gender. It had never crossed my mind to be anything other than male, nothing else I ever desired. I’ve never felt like I was in the wrong body or anything of the sort – so, I don’t quite think that’s what I’m feeling now.
Maybe I just envy her existence or how confident she is. Maybe I find her attractive? It’d be kinda shitty if I found her attractive, seeing as she’s Noah’s date and I’m here with Brooke. I don’t think it’s that either, since I can barely tolerate either of them.
Perhaps I’m just drunk and confused.
I must just be drunk and confused.
Once the food settles in my tummy, I feel significantly better, a little nauseous still but better nonetheless. My buzz has fizzled, but the tips of my fingers still tingle and words are still hard.
I quietly use a leftover bun to move around a glob of ketchup as entertainment. Noah’s always been the social one, he’s always been the connections, the glue. So, it’s no surprise that he’s captured the attention of the whole table, filling the air with collective drunken giggles. Normally though, he helps nudge me gently into conversations. He helps me not stay silent like I am now. It’s fine though, I don’t have much to contribute since they have all these inside jokes from their study group.
I snap out of my daze when I hear Folio crunch a coke can in his hand as he gets up from the table. There’s an emptiness beside me I hadn’t felt til now – Brooke is gone.
My gaze follows the group as they get up from the table to bring their trash to the overflowing garbage can.
“Where did Brooke go?” I ask to the general conglomerate, most of which pay no mind to me.
“She left to go meet up with some other friends.” Noah replies, his tone suggests that he’s downplaying the situation. I’m sure she wasn’t having fun with a half-drunk silent boy.
‘You’re no fun’ rings in my head from earlier in the car.
2 things I’ve learned from tonight are:
1 – eat hotdogs when drunk.
2 – pretending to be “fun” is really fucking exhausting.
“Oh.” I say quietly, matching their actions by tossing my flimsy paper plate and Dr. Pepper can into the trash.
“We’re heading towards the bigger rides, if you want to come.” He turns and follows the rest of the group through some carnival game tents.
‘If you want to’ I mimic him in my head.
No I don’t fucking want to but I was driven here and I’m stranded.
“Yeah.” I mumble and quickly jog to meet them ahead of me.
--
The others made their way to the short ferris wheel line after I insisted it was okay to leave me behind. I sure as fuck didn’t want to sit in a pod alone or 3rd wheel on one of their’s.
I watch Noah and Kassidy’s pod reach and stop at the peak of the small ferris wheel, I don’t know why I’m watching but my body is rooted where I stand. Upon it’s a slow descent down, I see it.
His hand cupping her face. Their lips locked.
It’s not a decision I make until their pod locks at the gate and they’re being let out. My foot swivels in the dirt, kicking up dying grass as I try to dip around various family-owned booths for cover. As feared, I hear him calling from behind. I knew I had messed up by making a run for it so late.
“Nicholas!”
His calling only makes my legs move faster – I’m not sure exactly why I’m running or what good it’ll do, just that I need to get as far away from him as possible.
He catches up to me faster than I was prepared for. Fall leaves crunch beneath his worn-out Converse. “Where are you going?” He asks and before I even turn around to see him, I know the look on his face. The same look that I can’t seem to ever say no to – the one that breaks my back just to make me bend to him.
I sigh and turn to him. “Noah, I’m going home.”
“What! Why?”
And there it was. Big, round, puppy dog eyes full of decadent chocolate so sweet it could rot the teeth right out of your skull - paired with pouted lips that demand pity and restitution.
“I’m not having fun. I don’t want to be here.”
“What? You told me you wanted to go to the fair?” He questions with curved eyebrows.
“No. I didn’t. You invited me. You told me that I wanted to go. You tricked me into being on a triple date I didn’t want to be on.” My arm gesturing towards the fair.
“Well, c’mon we can still make it fun! We can just get some more ride tickets and-” He grabs the sleeve of my flannel and tugs at it towards the fair.
I yank my arm back so hard it nearly pulls him back with it, “No you’re not listening to me Noah. I don’t want to be here. Why do you continue to bring me places that you KNOW I won’t like?”
“We’ve been to the fair a million times, Nick.” He crosses his arms over his chest.
“Yeah! With just us! Not with three random fucking girls!” The churning in my chest begins to spit drunken thoughts out without filters.
His brows knit together in confusion. “They’re not random girls Nicholas, and I really thought you’d hit it off with Brooke-”
“Oh my god, why the fuck would you think I’d get along with her? Just because she’s got tits and ass? Sorry, I’m not you, I need a little more than that.” I scoff.
“Well, I-I don’t know just thought you’d want-”
“Augh!” I groan and pace a tiny lap around the grass. “Can you stop assuming you know what I do or don’t want?”
“So, let me get this straight. You don’t want to go to parties, or the fair, or hang out with girls… normal college stuff, you don’t want?”
My heart pounds hard against my eardrums and my fingers burn with frustration. My fists tighten at my sides and my jaw clenches, digging each row of teeth into the other. Molten lava threatens to spill from my throat.
“No, Noah. I guess I don’t want ‘normal college stuff’, I don’t fucking like alcohol and I don’t even know if I like girls!”
My yelled words tumbled from my mouth so easily I didn’t even realize I said anything that odd until Noah’s eyes widen.
I don’t even know if I like girls.
“What?” Noah asks softly and genuinely with his head tilted slightly.
“I-I,” I stumble back, accidentally hitting an oak tree behind me. “I’m- I just need to go home.”
“Nick.” His hands stretch out to grab my arm as I turn to leave but he’s a millisecond too late. “Nick!” He calls after me.
Every bit of adrenaline available in my body propels me forward, past all the booths, all the rides, and through all the neighboring forest. When my feet finally find asphalt, my head feels like a basketball on a player’s fingertip. My eyes widen at a sharp turn in my stomach. I analyze my surroundings in a split second, running towards a lamp post for support. The moment my palm touches the cold metal, I double over and empty the contents of my stomach onto the concrete. The funnel cake, the cotton candy, the fried Oreos, the slushees, and the goddamn fucking hotdogs all found home the sidewalk.
I don’t even know if I like girls.
I don’t even know if I like girls.
Why would I say that?
Is that true?
Do I not like girls?
Of course, I like girls.
I wobble over to a bench and sit on the cool wood. The weather’s a lot colder now that the sun has set, and I regret not bringing a proper jacket.
I like girls. I know I like girls. Right?
I mean, I’ve been jerking off to girls… this whole time? So, if I didn’t like girls, why would I do that?
I like girls.
Only.
I like girls.
Right?
I shake my head of the thoughts spinning faster than I can even grasp.
The dim light of the street lamp flickers and it occurs to me that it’s almost 10 pm and I have no idea where I am or how to get home.
Fuck.
Pulling my location up in my Maps app tells me that I’m still fairly close to the fair, which unfortunately means I’m pretty far from home. Tears begin prickling in my eyes and a tight knot forms in my throat.
The weight of the night crashes down onto me all at once.
The “you’re no fun”
The fucking hot dogs
The “she went to meet other friends”
The “if you want to”
The ferris wheel
The “I don’t even know if I like girls”
“Fuck.” My voice cracks as tears take hostage of my cheeks.
My body doubles over, folding in on itself to bury my face in my hands.
I’m drunk, I had a shit night, I left my best friends at the fair and now I’m stranded on some random street.
Even through my own heaving, a brief pang of guilt shoots in my stomach for leaving Noah behind.
He wanted to have a good night, perhaps I ruined it. 
In the past, I would’ve stayed feeling guilty because I knew for a fact that if the roles were reversed, he’d come back to find me. But now, I’m not so sure. I don’t think he’d leave Kassidy for anyone or anything.
Not even me.
My palms try to stave off the tears by digging into my eye sockets.
“Fuck, okay. I need to get it together.” I say out loud to myself, letting out a deep exhale. “What the fuck am I gonna do.”
Both of my only friends are still at the fair.
Mom is at work.
So that leaves me with…
Stella.
“Shit.”
I unwillingly pull myself from the bench and begin to pace back and forth taking fast but deep breaths. I ring out my hands out, trying to expel any sort of panic from them. The last thing I need is for her to see me like this.
Finally, once I’ve composed myself, I dig my phone out of my pocket and click her contact name “Snot”.
It rings for a little bit too long and I almost hang up just before she answers.
“Hello?” She asks a little louder than necessary, shortly after I hear a flood of giggles in the background. Her sleepover.
“Hey.” I barely get out without my voice cracking.
“Hey, what’s up?” She asks with concern lacing her voice. There’s the sound of a door closing behind her, shutting out the chatter.
“Oh um-“ My tone pitched up and I feel tears welling up in my eyes again. If the rest of tonight’s events weren’t enough, here I am making a fool out of myself to my little sister. “I forgot about your sleepover. It's fine – I’ll just walk home or something.”
“Walk home? Where are you?”
I swallow the knot in my throat trying to keep my voice level, normal and calm but my pause is long and loud.
“I-I,” My eyes squeeze shut pushing as much of my tears out. “I don’t know.”
“Did you drink?”
The back of my hand roughly wipes my nose. “Yes.”
“Are you with Noah?” Her voice is gentle and kind and reminds me of how our mother would talk to us when we scraped our knees.
I sniffle and my voice threatens to break once more. “No.”
“Okay.” She states as if she just got handed a checklist of effortless tasks. “The girls were just about to go home.” I know that’s a lie. “Drop me a pin and I’ll come get you.”
“Thanks Stell.” I reply quietly.
“Of course.”
--
It took about 20 minutes for Stella to pick me up in my own car.
My arms wrap around my shivering body and my head rests on the window as I watch the streetlights zoom past us. Her speed is inconsistent, fast in short bursts then slow in long drags. Her stops are jerky and her turns wide. If this was an early Tuesday school morning, she wouldn’t be able to stop my mouth from rambling off critiques. But tonight, opening my mouth seems more dangerous than her driving.
“So. Do you wanna talk about what happened?” She cuts through the silence unapologetically, like opening a crisp can of Coke in a dead, silent room.
I shake my head.
“C’mon. You can’t really expect me to pick you up in the middle of nowhere at midnight without any context?” She patters her fingertips on the steering wheel and glances over at me. “Did something happen with Noah? Did you get into a fight?”
“Something like that.” I mutter.
She squints her eyes and kind of tilts her head to the side. “You guys never fight?”
“Well.” I reply bluntly. “Things change, I guess.” The fabric of the seat cover stretches as I shift. “I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”
The gears spin in her head, I can almost see them. “Weird.” She mumbles under her breath. “Was it about a girl?”
“I said I’m done answering questions.”
“Sheesh, okay.” She says defensively.
Silence fills every empty space in the car. I’m not sure I’ve ever been uncomfortable around my sister before, but I certainly am now. It’s a new feeling, something I want to run and hide from. My knee bounces nervously as my mind cycles through everything that happened tonight. Regardless of anxiety and confusion twisting my organs into pretzels, I fear that if I don’t say what’s chanting in my head right now, I could explode.
“I told Noah that I don’t even know if I like girls.” I blurt out with extreme urgency, as if I didn’t get it out now, I never would.
Her eyes widen a bit but they stay focused on the road. My heart thumps hard against my chest threatening to jump right out.
“Okay.” She says calmly but cautiously. “And why did you say that?”
“I-I don’t know.” I let the weight of my body finally relax and sink into the seat. “You’ve known me my whole life. Do you think that I… might not only like girls?”
She turns to me at a red light and the face she gives me reminds me of when she was 4 and I was 7, when I speculated that Santa might not be real. Without a second thought she replied, “Of course he’s not real, silly.”
Even at 4 years old she was smarter than me.
“I think that might be a question you have to figure out yourself, Nick. I can’t tell you what you do or don’t like.”
I huff, suddenly frustrated that I couldn’t hand off such a complex task onto someone else – that I couldn’t have someone else give me a quick, solid, factual answer.
“I guess you’re right.” I mumble. 
She returns her focus to the road and lets out a little sigh. “Do you remember when we were little? And we liked Power Rangers?”
“…Yeah?” I reply confused as to what exactly Power Rangers has to do with my sexuality.
“Well, I remember the first time we watched it - and you thought it was so stupid.”
“No I didn’t? I loved Power Rangers?” 
“No.” She corrects me. “At first, when it was just us, you thought it was dumb. But then all your friends started liking it and suddenly you did too. You even wanted to be the red one for the group costume that Halloween, remember?”
“Okay… and? What are you getting at?”
“I can’t tell you what you are or aren’t, Nick. But you’re right - I have known you my whole life. And I know that sometimes you change things about yourself to, I don’t know… not make waves? Not stand out? To fit in? I don’t know your reasoning and I don’t know if that’s what you did with this. But… just something to think about I guess?”
My fingers tap at my knee in thought. I don’t really remember that specific component, only that I had Power Ranger shirts and bedsheets. I remember playing with the figures on the playground with friends and running around the neighborhood with them on Halloween as the Red Ranger. If I was having fun, does it really matter if I didn’t actually like Power Rangers? 
“Yeah… I guess it’s something to think about.” I let out a deep sigh. “How’d you get so smart anyway?”
She shoots me a smile, “I learned from the best.”
“Nope, definitely not me. That was all Mom.”
“Who did you think I meant?” She smirks.
“Ha-ha so funny.” I roll my eyes with a toothy grin, finally feeling the tiniest sliver of ease enter my body.
The relaxation slipped from me as quickly as it arrived. “Please don’t um, tell her…or anyone that we talked about this – especially Noah.”
“You got it. I would never.”
I somehow feel relieved yet terrified of what I’ve just divulged to her.
“Do you wanna get donuts from that 24-hour place? And maybe some water for your inevitable hangover?”
“God yes please.” My thumbs rub circles into my throbbing temples. “And a burger please, jesus I need a burger. And fries, I need fries more than air right now.”
“Fiiine, McDonalds too, I guess.”
“Thanks, Stell.” I say soft and genuine.
“Of course, Nick.”
I smile kindly at her. Tomorrow I’ll probably regret everything I said and did tonight but right now, I’m getting junk food with my sister at midnight and the world is quiet. Everything feels okay, even if it only lasts until the end of my Mcdonald’s.
Tumblr media
I wave Stella goodnight as she walks into her room. With a twist of my doorknob, I open my door and my feet halt in their tracks. My swollen eyes widen at the last thing I expected to be in my room.
“What are you doing here?” I question before I can even really gauge my own reaction.
Noah sits on the edge of the bed still in the same outfit from the fair.
“I went looking for you.” His brown eyes find mine and it makes my chest ache the same way it did earlier on the bench.
“You did?” My square shoulders soften briefly before straightening back up again. “And why would you do that?” I snap at him.
The space between his brows burrows slightly, seemingly confused by my harsh response. “Well, I-I,” He presses his lips together while his fingers pick at his nails. “I was worried about you.”
My eyes dart down to the carpet and try to ignore the way my heart swells at his words. I swallow hard and curl my fists at my sides. “Well, you’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m fine.”
“Oh okay…” He trails off and lets his gaze drop to his fiddling hands and bouncy leg. “I just wanted to make sure, I guess.”
“Okay well, you’ve made sure. Now I really just wanna go to bed, if that’s okay with you.” I cross all of the two feet from the doorway to my dresser and forcefully yank the top drawer open.
He carefully lifts from the bed and meets me where I dig for clothes. “Nicholas.” His voice is gentle and full of concern, but no matter how much it should comfort me it just fans the flames of my resentment.
“What now, Noah.” I sigh harshly and turn to him.
“What did you mean at the fair?”
After the food adventures I had with Stella, it had almost erased what I had said from my memory. Too bad it couldn’t have done that to him too. I was really banking on him being too drunk to even remember. But I should know better than that – Noah and his very selective memory.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I feign confidence and turn back away from him to focus on finding PJs. My chest and limbs fill with a feeling similar to sitting in the waiting room of a principal’s office. Suddenly, I’m small and the room triples in size while the oxygen rapidly depletes.
“You know what I’m talking about Nick.” His fingers gently grab my arm to turn my attention to him again. “Do you… not like girls? Do you think you’re-”
“Gah! No!” I all but spit out. The thought of what he was about to say makes me want to vomit all over again. “No, I’m not…that.”
“O-oh, okay…but if you were, you know you could tell me, right? You know you can tell me anything, like we’ve always done.” His voice is quiet and tender, even through the vodka I can still smell on his breath.
“Oh my god Noah.” I grasp at the air in frustration. “No. I just said it to, to throw you off. So you’d let me go, so you’d leave me the fuck alone.”
“Oh.” His hand slips from my arm and he takes a step away from me.
If this was any other night, after any other event, I would apologize, minimize it, and say that I’m just having a bad night. But it’s not any other night and I don’t have enough energy in my entire body to make more excuses.
My fingers dig into the bundle of PJs I hold, and my stare stays straight on his chest. “I just, want to take a shower and go to bed. Okay?”
“Right.” He sucks his teeth and nods. “Okay, enjoy your shower then.”
“I will, thanks.” I reply blandly, shoving the overflowing drawer closed.
-
The world seems much lighter now that the thick layer of carnival muck, the remnants of alcohol and vomit were washed down the drain. I scrunch my hair with a terry cloth towel while I walk to my room from the shower.
I’m confused to find my door cracked open with the big light still shining through the door. I spent almost an hour trying to get all the grime off and let the water ease the pulsing in my head. Surely, Noah wouldn’t still be up, it’s almost 3 am.
I quietly creak the door open to find the bed empty.
“Huh?” I whisper to myself and make my way over to the disheveled bed. Noah’s nowhere to be found, but instead there’s a plushy on his pillow. I hook my finger through the plastic carabiner attached to it and lift it to my eyeline. It’s a stuffed tuxedo cat with sunglasses that look similar to the knockoff RayBans I usually wear.
I look back at the pillow and notice there was a note beneath it. I pick it up and unfold it with the cat dangling on my pinky. 
‘Saw this at the fair and thought of you. 
Went to stay over at Kassidy’s so, you can have your room back for the night.
-N’
The breath that escapes from deep in my torso seems to deflate me completely. I knew the slip of up of my words the other day hurt him, more than I thought. A vine of thorns wraps around my throat, each guilt-drenched spike digs into my windpipe. He left because of me.
I take a precarious seat on the edge of the bed, holding each item in each hand. My palm aches to crush the note in my fingers but my eyes burn with salty tears too. All while the cat swells my chest in the saddest way possible. How could someone feel so many things at once? 
I have no screams, no yells, no sobs left in me and my body begs for rest. I can’t let myself wallow in whatever this is, how could I make sense of it now? When my brain is so hazy and my eyes are so sleepy. 
I use the back of my hand to wipe away the tiny bit of tears left in my eyes and set the note and the stuffed kitty on my bedside table. The bed creaks when I bury my knee into the mattress and let myself fall to the middle. 
The bed feels colder and emptier without him in it, but right now I’m not sure this is where I want him to be. 
I reach up to tug the lamp light off and pull the duvet around my shivering body. 
After about 20 mins of stirring with no hope of falling asleep, I give in and just stare into the stillness of the room. My eyes finally adjust to the darkness and start making a sort of mental inventory list counting all of the items scattered around my room that aren’t mine. I try to remember what the room looked like before he moved in, but I can’t.
While there are growing pains, I can’t imagine my room without him in it anymore. He’s tangled himself into the very essence of the space. 
Drawing my gaze across the room, I land on the kitty he’d gotten for me at the fair. I reach across the space and bring it to the bed, placing it in his spot. 
It fills a tiny void in the vast emptiness of the bed and for about 15 minutes I cling to the minor comfort it brings, believing it might help me fall asleep. 
I let out a frustrated sigh. The heaviness of the night drops onto my shoulder blades and finds refuge beneath my eyes. Once again a venomous coil tightens itself around my ribs.
It is mostly confusion that I feel, the only factor I can distinctly pick out. 
The only other one I can somewhat recognize is, loneliness. 
I glance back over to the cat and it dawns on me the possible reason I can't fall asleep. My fingertips tap rhythmically against the mattress cycling through my options until I find one. 
I wrap my thick duvet around my body and grab my pillow before shuffling down the hall. I gently tap my knuckle against her door then crack it open just a bit.
“Stella.” I whisper-yell into her room. “Stella.”
She shifts in her bed and cracks one eye open at me. “Hm?” She groans sleepily.
I let myself in and scuffle across the carpet to her bedside. “Can I sleep on your floor?” I request in a hush. 
“What? Why?” Her brows knit together with her eyes barely open. “What’s wrong with your bed?”
I chew on my bottom lip searching my brain for an answer that makes any sense but there’s only one. 
“It’s empty.” 
Tumblr media
tag list; @ladyveronikawrites @sinkingteethinwhitenoise @concretenoah @kingdomof-omens @the-hell-i-overcame @blackveilomens @xxrainstorm [comment if you'd like to be tagged?]
Thank you for the support on this series and on my other series, Virality. I appreciate it more than you know. I love reading your comments and asks. I am incredibly grateful for them, thank you.
Tumblr media
62 notes · View notes
vanillabat99 · 2 years
Text
I just had a really weird dream. I wanna make it very clear that my dreams are extremely vivid, and I often believe them to be reality while I am dreaming.
I was trapped in some fantasy hell maze made up of two sections, mostly indoor and mostly outdoor. The outdoor part was like a big forest but also a university campus, and the indoor part was like a big shopping mall (separate from the "university" building in the outdoor section). I've had "Trapped In A Shopping Mall From Hell" dreams before but this one was so weird?? I'll skip over the relatively normal dream stuff and just tell you the nightmare part, because it would take a lot of explaining for the first bit. CW for mentions of gore.
So, the "Shopping Mall From Hell" turned into some weird miniature-land tunnel themepark, which your goal was to escape. It wasn't scary at first and for awhile the worst part was trying to catch up to someone, but then there was a split path in the tunnel rooms. One of the tunnel sections featured a death laser (which is kinda cringe but I didn't wanna die so I avoided it) but the other tunnel featured a gore display, which has probably been burned into my brain forever now. Since this one wasn't immediate death I decided I'd be brave about it and power through, but it just got worse. The next room after was somehow more violently disgusting, and the bodies were screaming and moving. Every room I could see in the distance was just increasingly horrendous. So I turned around and ran out. I had to climb over the previous room display to get out and it turns out it wasn't really a display either, and they started screaming as I furthered their wounds in my desperation to escape. The rest of it wasn't so bad in comparison and it did turn out somewhat okay, but I think that's really gonna exist in my head forever now.
2 notes · View notes
rkvriki · 1 year
Text
you spin me up high - lee heeseung (m)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: football team captain!heeseung x slightly bimbo!fem reader
synopsis: No one was surprised when the football star Lee Heeseung started dating the local bimbo, Y/n L/n. They were like a match made in heaven hell, they weren't an official item, but how does Heeseung react when he sees his team rival approach her?
WARNINGS ! mature content (sorry to my minor followers >-< also its my first time writing smut to pls have mercy on me), jealousy, mentions of reader being a little dumb :D, public sex (in the school's bathroom lolz), oral (f receiving), heeseung calls reader a slut once lmao, sex?? they kinda fight, reader is sensitive :(, heeseung is a lil possessive, if there's more tell me pls 😭 grammar errors, proofreading is a painfull process ok? word count: 5.6k (i popped my full smut cherry ok )
A/N: um hello?! guess i wrote smut for the first time djfhdf do i like it? idk, maybe lmao. this is nothing like my blog at all, but this idea wasn't getting out of my head and i kinda just wrote it. thank you bae @dazed-hee for reassuring my insecure ass and thank you @loveywon for giving me energy to write this thing, i love you guys. if its too bad pls dont say anything and pretend it good okay?
Tumblr media
You purse your lips as you look in the mirror, watching the way the light pink lipgloss transferred from one lip to another. Smiling at the mirror, you appreciated the final look of the hard work you did on your face and outfit, as you slightly adjusted your top.
You took a lot of pride in your beauty, you were very aware of your looks and you knew everyone who you encountered in your life found you pretty. It is obvious to the public’s eye, it’s an undeniable beauty. You were always one to spend hours and hours to make yourself look the best for the most simple activities, you just never knew when you’ll have a pleasant encounter. If needed, anyone could spot you from a mile away with your (mostly pink) bright and sparkly clothes and the big white bows that held your hair in many ways, adorning it in the prettiest way. 
Anyone who didn’t know personally would say you were an airhead and a little bit dumb. It’s not your fault people talk about boring stuff that you know nothing about. The way your big doe eyes stared into the nothingness when you listened to someone talk about complex topics revealed that, in fact, there were no thoughts in that pretty head of yours. People often perceive you as someone unintelligent, when that wasn’t true at all, you are just a tiny bit slow. You consider yourself pretty successful seeing that you were in your dream college studying dentistry. You loved going to classes and socializing with people you knew in college. Making friends wasn’t a problem for you, always being a social butterfly since you were a little girl, but sadly there were girls who were mean to you, which often makes you pout to Heeseung when one of them frowns and tells you off, asking him why were they so mean and he just reassures you that they are jealous of your beauty and the fact you were able to score the hottest guy in college, which was not a lie, to be honest. 
You loved Heeseung very much, even if you guys weren’t an official item you didn’t see other people and some girls in your school didn’t take that lightly. Both of you had a reputation for sleeping around but in different ways. Heeseung was known for going to parties and just fucking anyone who had a vagina, but never taking them seriously, only seeing them as one time hook-ups. While you were just known for being a hot bimbo who often liked to thank people for favors in a more fun way than usual, like for example, when Jeongin helped you fix your pc setup and you kissed his dimpled cheek and suddenly you were kissing his dick, it happens sometimes and you were fine with that. You had no shame about your sexuality, you were free to do whatever you wanted and to have sex with whoever you pleased.
Getting up from your seat in front of your big vanity, you walked to where your bunny’s cage was. Daisy was your cute bunny, a gift from a previous relationship. You petted her little head promising her cuddles and snacks when you came back. After greeting her goodbye you grabbed your things for class and made your way out of your apartment as your car keys jiggled in your hand.
Reaching campus, obviously only after getting a muffin from the local cafe, you 
sighed getting mentally ready for classes. Smiling to yourself, you composed your posture while manifesting the best day you could ever have, not wanting anything or anyone to ruin the perfect mood you woke up with.
As soon as you walked in the hallway you heard people greet you, which you returned with your sweet toothy smile and a wave. Your sweet vanilla scent filled the area and the heels from your platform shoes could be heard, making people’s heads turn to you.
“Hey y/n, love the skirt!” a girl you recognized from biology class said, as she complimented you, making you smile at her and tell her a high pitched thanks in return. You kept walking as more people greeted you. Popularity wasn’t something you seeked but it was something you had, maybe a consequence of your looks or your bubbly personality, which was something people usually took advantage of. It wasn’t something that bothered you in the beginning, when you were unaware of some girls’ intentions with you when they approached you so suddenly asking to be friends with you, but soon, you realized how you were being used by them so they could get with a guy they wanted or just to try and be as popular as you were. Even so, you kept up the nice and humble personality you always had, hence why you were so known amongst students, always showing availability to help others that sometimes wasn’t given in return, making your big heart break a little.
Looking at the time on your phone, it marked 9:30am and you were relieved to see you had a lot of time until class started. You came early today to spend a little time with Heeseung, since your classes didn’t start until 11am. You made your way to the campus cafeteria that was mostly empty aside from people like you who only had classes later in the morning. You sat at a table that had two seats, since Heeseung would arrive at any moment now, knowing him he probably went to hit the gym before meeting you. You decided to distract yourself by playing games on your phone.  As you were doing so, someone walked towards you, making you look up at them. In front of you was one of Heeseng’s teammates that was one year above you, one that he had warned you about, but you being you, still smiled at him.
“Hey, princess. Fancy seeing you here alone.” You cringed at the pet name he gave you that sounded different when it came from Hee’s mouth, but still you kept the smile nonetheless. “Hey, Jihoon! Yeah, it’s nice seeing you too!” You were trying your best not to sound rude, the glint in his eyes didn’t hide his intentions with you. 
Flirting with guys for fun is almost a hobby for you, or an old one. Since you started your thing with Heeseung it didn’t happen that much, except in situations where you needed free drinks or discounts at your favorite make up store. Still, you know when to and not to do it and right now, it’s a case where it’s preferable if you don’t do it and it’s making you really nervous. Jihoon had a reputation for stealing other guys’ girls but never in his life did he do it to any of his teammates, especially to Heeseung. He knew it could take his spot in the team away and he worked his ass off to get where he is right now. Besides, everyone knows better than to mess with Heeseung, who was also known for giving good ass beatings when needed to, but at this moment he seemed to forget about it or just didn’t care at all. 
Looking behind Jihoon you noticed his friend group seated in a table further from yours, meaning this was probably a planned encounter from their side. Jihoon’s chuckle brought you back to reality, making you look back at him.
“Couldn’t help but notice you look so pretty from afar and even prettier now that i got a closer look.” 
“Thanks! I worked really hard on my makeup today.” You answered him looking up at him with your doe eyes, trying to keep up the sweet tone in your voice. Before you and Heeseung started whatever you had going on, Jihoon already claimed you as his “friend” and you did too! In your head the comments he made for you were nothing but nice compliments friends gave each other, but when Heeseung found out about it he didn’t seem happy to know and almost scolded you to stay away from him because boys like him never had good intentions with you. The sound of the cafeteria’s door opening didn’t make Jihoon look back but it made you look, praying it was finally Heeseung, and thankfully your prayers were answered as he walked in looking around, probably trying to find you. You could hear Jihoon’s voice, but you paid him no attention as you saw Heeseung’s face frown when he spotted the man in front of you. Your heart started beating a little faster, as you anticipated the possible interaction between the two men.
“Say how about you and I spend some time alone this Fri-” 
Jihoon was quickly cut by the sound of a chair scraping against the ground. He looked to where it came from only to see Heeseung sitting while looking at him with a raised brow. Jihoon stood in his place, obviously not expecting to see your boyfriend, thinking you were gonna be here alone.
“I don’t think there’s anything for you to see here, so might as well make your way out and leave.” 
Jihoon opened his mouth to say something but he decided it was best to not say anything for the sake of his football career. As he turned in his heels to walk away, Heeseung got up and grabbed the other man’s shoulder, leaning down to his height and muttering in his ear “I really hope this is the last time I see you talk to her or even come close to it. You and I both know better than letting this happen again, don’t we?” Jihoon’s eye slightly twitched as he shrugged Heeseung’s hand off his shoulder and walked away from where you were.
Heeseung sat back, an angry frown adorned his face. “You took too long!” You said after checking it was already 10am, as you slightly pouted at him while eating the small piece that was left from your muffin. “What did I tell you about Jihoon? I thought I had warned you about him, or did I?” From the way he was talking you could see he was not a little bit happy with the situation but it wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t just be rude to him. “It’s not my fault Hee, besides he did nothing, he was just complimenting me!” Heeseung just seemed to get angrier with your answer, making a pout make its way back to your plush lips. “Y/n, how many times do i need to tell you what his intentions are, geez!” Y/n, he only called you that when he was mad. Why is he getting mad at you when it’s not your fault. You didn’t mean to get mad at him, but the way he was acting with you hurt you a little. You felt your eyes water slightly. “Look Heeseung, I know how to protect myself, I don't need you to warn me about Jihoon or anyone, besides he never did anything to me!” You felt bad talking with him like that, but you weren’t a helpless child, you were a little slow but not dumb. Heeseung’s frown deepened after hearing your words, he should be the one getting mad not you at him. “I don't want to keep having this conversation with you. I’m leaving now.” Heeseung grabbed his bag as he got up to leave. Words weren’t coming out of your mouth no matter how many times you opened it to talk and ask him to stay. As the cafeteria’s door slammed close you felt your eyes water with tears as you flinched at the sound. Pouting your lips, you started wondering why he got so mad when you did nothing wrong. 
You understood he was being protective of you but it still broke your heart into pieces when his loud voice echoed back in your mind. A single tear fell from your eyes making you quickly but carefully wipe it so as to not ruin your makeup that you put extra effort in. You grabbed your mini mirror from your bag as you checked your face, smiling when it was still intact. You grabbed your stuff as you decided to text your friends to check if it was available since your class wasn’t until 40 minutes.
—-------------------------------
“And he got really mad at me when it wasn’t even my fault!” 
Chaewon and you were sitting in the benches in the open area of campus as you were telling her about this morning's events. Chaewon has been your friend since you entered college and both of you seemed to click instantly when you met at the dorm that both of you decided to move out from, getting your own apartments. You both shared everything with each other, she was your ride or die and shopping partner. She was the first one to know when Heeseung slid in your dm’s and she wasn’t so happy about it. Knowing about his reputation, she always told you to be careful afraid you might get hurt but you always reassured her that he was treating you nicely and after a year of going out with him she stopped nagging about the boy. Hearing this story, Chaewon wanted to give a I warned you type of scolding, but she held herself back seeing you teary eyed as you spoke. She let out a sigh as she put down the cereal bar she was eating. 
“Look I really want to tell you that I knew this would happen but I won't. He is being a complete asshole and don’t you dare run to him, he is the one who should be apologizing and if he really likes you he will.” She grabbed your fidgeting hands as she kept talking “Besides, as much as it hurts me to admit it, in a whole year Heeseung never did anything to hurt you and even though this doesn’t justify his behavior, he probably was acting out of jealousy I’m pretty sure he didn’t mean to let it out on you.” You sighed as you looked at her slightly smiling. “Yeah I know that but he still hurt me a lot.” You said as you sniffled and held your tears back. “Anyway, class is almost starting so I’ll get going and you should too.” Chaewon said as she got up and grabbed her things, waiting for you to do the same. You bid her goodbye and made your way to where your class was.
—-------------------------------
You had your head propped in your head as you tried to understand what the teacher was saying, but his words were nothing but background noise as you couldn’t stop thinking about Heeseung. You grabbed your pen as you started to take notes, midterms were close and you couldn’t afford to fail. As you were focused on the teacher's explanation you heard your phone buzz in your bag but ignored it and kept focusing on class. You kept writing and the buzz continued making some heads turn into your direction. You muttered an apology as you grabbed your phone to check who was texting you, seeing Heeseung’s name on your screen.
hee💘: meet me in the boy’s bathroom on the 2nd floor
hee💘: now
You kept staring at his texts not knowing what to do. Chaewon’s words were replaying in your head “don’t you dare go back to him”. You know you should ignore him, but just once wouldn’t hurt anyone, besides she doesn’t need to know about this. Putting your phone back in your bag along with the rest of your supplies, you got up quietly to not disturb anyone. You felt your hands shaking in anticipation as you walked down the hallway making your way upstairs to the second floor. Your legs felt wobbly as you felt the tight anxious feeling forming in your chest, not knowing what to expect from this encounter. You reached the second floor and looked around trying to find the way to the bathroom. As you were almost reaching your destination, you saw Heeseung from afar leaning against the wall as he scrolled through his phone. The sound of your steps getting closer made him look up just to find you looking at him with the does he adored so much, making him try his best to not melt right then and there. He put his phone away and stood straight as he looked you up and down, making you gulp, fearing he might say. Heeseung didn’t say anything as pushed you by the wrist, taking you inside the bathroom. You let your things fall to the ground, as he pushed you against the door, his hand reaching behind you to lock the door as the other made its way around your waist. 
Your head was feeling fuzzy as your mind was filled with nothing but Heeseung, the electric feeling of his hands caressing your waist made your heart flutter. Your heart started beating faster as you looked in his eyes, pupils dilated and filled with lust. Your hands slowly made their way around his neck as he leaned his head down to your level. Your noses were touching and he had his forehead touching yours, a small movement would make your lips touch, but still, none of you dared to make a move as you stared into each others’ eyes. 
You were the first to break eye contact as you slammed your lips against his’, not being able to hold it anymore, the tension in the air was heavy and it was making you feel like you were out of breath. Heeseung kissed you back with as much force as you did, both of your lips moving together, fitting like a puzzle piece falling in the right place. You felt one of Heeseung’s hands move down to your butt, squeezing the plump flesh there, making you gasp. He took it as an opportunity to slide his tongue inside your mouth, making you leave a quiet moan inside his own mouth. His tongue moved in sync with yours, entwined and fighting for dominance. Your hands started moving as if on their own, sliding down his body until they reached his belt, pulling his hips against your own. You moaned at the feeling of his slightly hardened length, one of your hands leaving its palace from the belt and coming to his front to rub at his boner, making him hiss in your mouth. 
The room was filled with sounds of your lips smacking against each other along with the sounds you both let out. Hesseung’s hand left your waist as it slowly moved down your torso towards your tight, squeezing the flesh there. His hand slid to the inside of your thigh, the feeling of his hand making your skin crawl with chills as his hand moved further, touching your clothed core, feeling the outline of your slit. His thumb applied pressure in your clit, just enough to make you pull away from the kiss, gasping for air and turning your head away from him. Heeseung started leaving kisses on your neck, reaching for the spot he knew made you crazy as he left marks along the side of it, making you moan out loud at the feeling of his lips along with his thumb on your clit. 
“Already going dumb for me, huh baby?” He said as he smirked against your neck, making you hide your face in his neck in embarrassment. “Nuh-uh, don’t shy away from me now baby. Look at me, baby.” You took your face from his neck, leaning your head back against the door as you looked up at him. Heeseung smiled at you, taking both of his hands to cradle your face against his palms. “You know I love you right?” You nodded, smiling at him, as your face leaned against his touch. “And I love you, Hee, so much.” Heeseung leaned his forehead against yours, closing his eyes, as he left a breathy chuckle. He connected your lips again, swiping his tongue against your lower lip, making you open your mouth as his tongue made its way to yours. His hands started going inside your top, moving up to your bra, as he started massaging your breasts, you started moaning inside his mouth, muffling the sounds you made. 
“Hee, just take my shirt off, please.” You whined against his lips as he chuckled at your eagerness. He pulled away from your lips and pushed your shirt up, taking it off of you with ease. You pulled him to kiss you again, as his hands snaked around your back, unclasping your bra, moving it down your arms and letting it fall freely onto the floor. His mouth moved from your lips to your neck, trailing down to your collarbones, marking the area, leaving trails of spit as he started kissing down to your nipples. His mouth automatically closed around your left nipple, sucking the small nub as his free hand moved to massage and pinch the other. Heeseung’s mouth was making loud wet sounds, mixing in the air with your breathy moans. You rubbed your thighs together, desperate for friction, feeling your underwear stick against your core. 
“Hee, please, I need more.” You whined as you twisted and turned against the door. “Please what baby, need you to be specific, angel.” He said as he moved his mouth to your other boob, a trail of spit connecting it to your now abused boob from all the biting and sucking. You whined in complaint, your brain already not functioning completely as the only thing you could think about now was how much you needed Heeseung’s cock or fingers. “Need your fingers, please Hee, just give me something.” The desperation in your voice was noticeable and Heeseung spent no time in pulling your skirt down along with your panties, leaving you naked aside from your shoes and pink lacy socks that you loved so much. 
Heeseung picked you up and sat you down in one of the toilets inside the stalls. He kneeled down in front of you, putting your legs on his shoulders, giving him a perfect view of your raw and glistening cunt. He licked his lips as he looked at you, seeing the neediness in your eyes. He started kissing the inside of your thighs, alternating between licking and biting the flesh, making you whine at the pleasure the pain gave you. You felt his breath hitting your pussy, making you shiver from the feeling and shudder in anticipation. His thumbs moved to your labia, as they pushed your lips apart, fully exposing you to him. 
“Hee, please, I can’t wait anymore, I beg you.” Your whines were getting louder, leaving little to the imagination of anyone who passed by. “Baby I will do anything you want, but I need you to be quiet, can you do that for me?” You nodded, not being able to form coherent words even if you tried. 
Heeseung finally let his mouth fall against your pussy, as his lips found their place around your clit, sucking the swollen nub, making you bite your lip to try to hold back your moans, your hands tangled in his hair, needing something to grasp onto. His tongue started making figure 8 in your nub, your toes curling at the pleasure he was giving you, your mouth fell open into an O shape as breathy moans slipped past your lips. Heeseung’s mouth left your cunt, making you whine at the loss, one of his hands making their way to your gaping hole, rubbing your entrance and slipping a finger inside with ease, thrusting it inside and out. You throw your head back in pleasure and let out a broken whine, making Heeseung’s move come to a halt. Your head coming back up as you looked at him, grinding your hips against his fingers, trying to get him to move. 
“If you don’t keep it downI’ll just stop right here and take care of myself and make you watch, got it?” His threat made you gulp and nod quickly at his words. You gasped as his finger started moving again at a faster pace. “Please, more, Hee. Give me more!” Your voice came out as a whisper, feeling like if you talked louder your voice would betray you. Heeseung complied with your request as he inserted another finger inside your leaking hole. You bring your hands against your mouth, trying to muffle the noises, as you feel yourself getting closer to your high. Your walls were tightening against his fingers as you felt the knot form in your tummy. Heeseung felt that and he put his mouth back on your clit, sucking the poor nub, aiding you to reach your high faster. One of your hands made their way back in his hair, pulling the hair, feeling the knot almost bursting. 
“Hee, I’m so fucking close, don’t stop. Oh, please, don’t stop.” You breathed out as your chest heaved with pleasure. Little high pitched whines started escaping your mouth, getting louder and louder as you got closer. “Fuck, Heeseung, I’m gonna cum! Shit Hee, I’m cum-” Your didn’t even get to finish your sentence as you reached your climax, arching your back away from the toilet, feeling your walls pulse aggressively around Heeseung’s fingers. He moaned as he tasted your cum against his tongue, his fingers still moving, helping you ride out your orgasm. When you got more calm, Heeseung took his fingers out, pushing them inside your mouth making you lick them clean as his mouth licked your pussy clean, making you choke on his fingers when you tried to gasp from overstimulation. 
Heeseung pulled back, smirking as he looked at your fucked out state. You pulled him by his neck, slamming your lips against his, tasting yourself in his tongue. You both were moaning in the kiss, you needy more and Heeseung needing to relieve the raging boner that was pushing against his pants, almost painfully. You pulled away from the kiss, breathless and gasping for air. You looked down to his crotch seeing his boner, now more prominent and definitely rock hard. Poor baby held back this hold time, you thought. 
“Hee, I want to suck you off.”
“There’s no time for that, classes are almost ending and I just want to feel your pussy right now.” 
“But i wan-” Heeseung cut you off by slamming his lips against yours. You instantly fall into his touch, your hands immediately make their way inside his shirt, feeling his abs against your touch. You started to pull his shirt up, making him pull away from you to take it off of him. Your lips connected again, needy moans leaving both of your lips and your noses bumped against each other. Your hands fumbled around his thighs as you finally found his belt and started unbuckling it, undoing his button to finally push his pants down enough to reveal his boxers, both too needy to take them off completely. Your hands palmed and squeezed his cock, making him groan against your lips and roll his hips against your hand. your hands wrapped around the waistband of his underwear to pull it down, freeing his cock making it slap against his abs, staining them with pre cum. You pulled away from him to look at his cock, mouth watering at the sight before you. You never had seen such a pretty cock, curved just the perfect way, with one vein adorning the underside, going from the base to the tip. You raised your hand to wrap around the base, tightening it around his member and moving it up until it reached the tip, watching as a bead of cum spilled from his tip. You started moving your hand up and down his length, making him hiss as he threw his head back. 
“Fuck baby, you’re so good for me.” He said as he looked at you, making you smile sweetly at him, feeling fuzzy on the inside as you kept your movements steady. “Shit. Baby, come here, if I don't get inside you right now I’ll go crazy.”
Heeseung picked you up once again, you automatically wrapped your legs around his waist as he pushed you against the wall. Your hands were around his neck as he grabbed his cock and aligned it with your entrance.
“Are you ready, baby?”
“Yeah, go on.” 
With your consent, Heeseung slid himself inside you with ease, a slick sound echoing in the stall as he buried himself completely inside you, making you open your mouth as a silent moan left your mouth as he put his face on the crook of your neck. He started moving at a slow pace, making you throw your head against the wall from the delicious feeling his cock gave you. His slow movements never faltered, not failing to make you squirm in his hold, but still you needed more.
“Hee, please faster.” You pleaded, needing more from him.
“You’re one needy slut, aren’t you? Always asking for more, mnh?” 
Despite his words, Heeseung adjusted your position in his arms before he started slamming his hips against yours. Instantly, you hid your face in the crook of his neck to muffle the sounds that escaped your lips. The sound of his balls hitting your ass echoed in the stall and could possibly be heard by anyone standing close to the door outside. Gasps were leaving your lips, combining with Heeseungs low groans against your own neck. The squelching sound coming from your pussy was like music to Heeseung’s ears, making his dick twitch inside you, causing you to let out a loud moan. Your nails scratched down his back enough to make it bleed a little and your brain was numb from all the pleasure you had received today, feeling grateful for Heeseung and his perfect cock. 
Heeseung changes his position slightly, making the tip of his cock hit the spongy spot inside you, making you clench tightly against his throbbing cock.You were bouncing up and down in his length, your tits bouncing right in front of his face, making his lean down to put on of your nipples in his mouth. The feeling of his tip repeatedly hitting that spot along with the friction his pelvis caused against your clit, made you feel the familiar knot form again, making you lean back fully against the wall as Heeseung’s thrusts started getting sloppy, meaning he was also close.
“Heeseung I’m going- fuck”
“I know, baby, me too. Cum with me, baby. Can you do that?” You nodded at his words, feeling yourself clench again. Heeseung’s hand came down to where your bodies met and he started rubbing your clit in fast motions, making you get closer to your high. Your breath started getting quicker with each thrust. Your tits bouncing with every movement you and him made.
“Fuck. Hee, I’m so close, shit!” You said as you felt your clit pulsating. “Shit, come for me baby, fuck.”
You did as he said as you felt yourself cum, gushing your essence all over his cock. Your legs were shaking and your hands were squeezing his biceps as you. His release coming right after yours, feeling his cum paint your walls, the warm liquid starting to form a white ring around his base. Heeseung moaned as you both rode out your highs, hissing from the slight overstimulation.  He slowly pulled out of you, watching as your pussy filled with his cum started slowly leaking.
The post climax reality was hitting you and you felt a pang in your chest, reminding yourself that you should be mad and hurt at him. Heeseung felt the shift in your mood, knowing very well why you were feeling like this. Before he did anything, he helped you clean up, grabbing toilet paper to clean your thighs and cunt, making you hiss from how sensitive you still were, which made him whisper a small apology before he kissed your cheek. After you both were clean you picked the clothes scattered across the floor, leaving the stall you checked yourself in the mirror seeing you red and slightly sweaty, ready to make the walk of shame as you heard the bell ring just in time.
Before you could leave Heeseung grabbed your hand making you look at him.
“Um listen, you probably think I'm a jerk right now, which you have all the right to, but I want you to know that I am genuinely sorry. What I did to you was not right, I was acting out of pure jealousy but it doesn’t mean I should have let it out on you. I love you and I am sorry, angel.” He said as he looked down ashamed at himself. You smiled at him, happy that he was able to recognize his mistake. “I forgive you Heeseung, even if you hurt me a lot. What you did left me really sad and hurt, but we both know I love you too much to not forgive you. Now we should get going, everyone is leaving class.” Heeseung nodded at you grinning like an idiot in love as he bent down to your height, giving you a long peck, making you smile in the kiss. 
Heeseung grabbed your hand and unlocked the door as you both made your way out. When Heeseung opened the door, he was faced with a student who just wanted to use the bathroom ,ready to push past him until he saw you behind the taller man. You looked up and smiled, waving your manicured hand at him.
“Hi Jihoon!”
762 notes · View notes
dilxcc · 2 months
Note
Heyyyyy!! I was wondering if you could do a little something with Chanyeol were he and reader are working on a song together and everything is being recorded and they become really close and when the video is posted the fans love their chemistry and they beg them to make more music together and in one of the videos they forget that they’re being recorded and they kiss or something 😅(it’s cool if you don’t want to take this request)
a bit too close ᡣ𐭩 park chanyeol
Tumblr media
fluff, kinda slowburn, friends to lovers, love confession, mutual pining, a little bit of kissing🧍, reader is so in love with him, grammatical error
chanyeol x f!reader
a/n idk if this is good but i hope you like it 😭
"i think it would sound better if you..." his words fell on deaf ears as you admired him. it was clear to everyone how head over heels you are for him. the way his bangs fell over his forehead, the way his dimples showed at the slightest smile, the way he would cover his mouth slightly when he was complimented.
"y/n? did you hear what i was saying?" chanyeol waved his hand in front of you, causing you to snap out of your stupor. "sorry?" you blinked, eyes slightly widened. "as i was saying, i think it would sound better if you soften your voice a little at this part," he repeated, chuckling softly at your antics.
you leaned closer to him and looked at the printed lyrics that were full of his scribbled notes. "which part?" you inquired, your eyes scanning through your part. his finger pointed out to the closing part. you flinched slightly when you felt his touch on your face. "your hair was in the way," he admitted, acting as if tucking your hair behind your ears was the most natural thing to do.
your cheeks burned slightly and you stepped a few steps back. "right," you stuttered slightly, now fixing your hair nervously. "oh, should we take a break? it's almost lunchtime," chanyeol muttered, looking at his phone's lock screen. you could only nod in reply, not trusting your voice to answer him. "what do you want? i'll order it for us," he scrolled through a food app.
soon enough, the two of you finished your recordings and it was finally time to leave the studio.
.
eris4life: did you guys see the way she was looking at him??? 👀
channielove: no wayyy did you not see the WAY chanyeol was looking at her??? eris4life: omg i just noticed! are we smelling something hereeee
kyungkyungsoo: omg they should totally collab more! they sound so good together!!!
baeksblub: guys... i think we're getting an announcement soon
you scrolled through the video's comment section, face flushing slightly because of how obviously you were staring at chanyeol. they even gave the exact time stamp! but the thought of chanyeol doing the same made your heart flutter. was he staring at you too? you hadn't noticed.
chanyeol on the other hand was smiling to himself while remembering the time you two were recording the song. his grip on the pillow grew tighter every time he remembered your smile. "hyung, he's at it again," sehun whispered in junmyeon's ear. "who's at what again?" junmyeon tilted his head slightly. kyungsoo pointed his finger toward chanyeol who was smiling ear to ear like a high school girl in love.
chanyeol was not the type to back down from a challenge. he considers talking to you more – getting to know you a challenge as not many people would have the courage to talk to the one they are interested in.
his finger hovers over your username, contemplating whether he should follow you or not. maybe this was a bad idea – that this was a very stupid idea. but hell, he loves stupid.
.
real__pcy
hey 🫣
were your eyes deceiving you or did you accept a new message from chanyeol?
y/n
hey 🫢
real__pcy
do you want to get coffee sometime? no pressure you can say no
the two of you somehow just clicked. chanyeol made you laugh so much. you made him laugh so much.
not even a year after your collaboration, the two of you were already planning a new song together. except this time, both of you were jumpy.
an accidental touch to the hand caused both of you to flinch and jump in the opposite direction. the sudden close distance made both of you stutter your words and look in the other direction. and the simplest eye contact almost caused you to ruin the whole song while recording.
you remind yourself to be mindful of your actions as the two of you are being recorded. but it was so hard sometimes when his closeness lingered a few seconds long. he probably hates you right? you were being awkward and unprofessional while recording.
"you two should take a break," the director instructed, getting up from his chair and walking out of the studio. you let out a sigh and sat down on the chair inside the recording room. and he followed suit. he carefully sat down beside you, hoping you wouldn't be uncomfortable. "so..." he started, his voice sounding awkward.
"i think you did great, by the way," he complimented, smiling shyly at you. "i think you did great, too," you returned the compliment. after a while, the silence returned. though this time, it wasn't as uncomfortable as it was a few minutes ago.
.
a few days later, the two of you returned to the studio for the final recording. due to both of you being incompetent, the recording time was longer than expected. your interaction a few days ago made both of you less skittish. except for the occasional awkward laughter.
at one point, you hadn't even realized that the two of you had gotten so close while inspecting the lyrics. "this part–" his words died down in his throat when his arm brushed yours. "sorry," he muttered but made no effort to move away. your eyes didn't peel away from his and instead, the two of you were leaning into each other's face.
with chanyeol being tall, he had to bend down a little. you closed your eyes, half-expecting for him to kiss you. while the other half; well...
his lips met yours in a slow yet sensual kiss. it wasn't rushed. and for some reason, it just felt so right. the world around you vanished and you could only feel the two of you standing there; in the room right now.
when you finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours and slowly regained his breath. "is it too late to admit that i like you?" he smiled, his cute dimples showing. you shook your head and smiled. "i like you, too,"
.
the video went viral just a few hours after being published.
chanslover: chanyeol please just one chance 😭😭
jonginreal: YESSSS THEYRE TOGETHER
junmyeonsfakecotton: my ship is sailing. i can finally die in peace.
baekshands: OMG OMG OMG TELL ME IM NOT DREAMING
kyungsoochest: you are not.
49 notes · View notes
jubiilee13 · 6 months
Note
hi babes I saw you begging for requests for mike schmidt so I decided to send my own request to you… as cliche as it is, could you write an angsty misunderstanding fic where basically mike is over-working himself to death and barely making time for you and you think you did something wrong but it turns out mike was just tired af. It can be smut or fluff since I don’t know what you really like to write. Sorry if this request is bad I’m not good at asking for things😭😭
-anon
anon ily ty for the request 😻😻
this may be a lil bad bc I’m sick rn but I hope u still enjoy 🫶
warnings: tiny mention of blood, angst, angy mike, sad reader, alludes to a little smut at the end but yeah
lets just say for this abby is at a um... sleepover or smth idk i forgot to include her
didnt check this for grammatical errors so my bad if it sucks lmao
you and mike didn’t fight often
i mean you never really had reason to
but lately mike had been weird, he had been… distant.
mike often had his rough days, as did you, but this time was different.
every morning when he returned home instead of his usual warm embraces, you’d been receiving the cold shoulder, at most a few sentences spoken between the two of you before he dragged himself off to bed.
you were worried to say the least, you knew you had done nothing wrong, yet something in your gut made you wonder if you did.
so you decided today was the day you were going to talk to him about it.
boy was that a bad idea...
the moment mike stepped out of his bedroom he spotted you, anxiously fidgeting as your eyes met his own
"we need to talk mike" you mumble, clearly not looking forward to having this conversation.
mike rolls his eyes, "what y/n" he replies, attitude evident in his tone, yet the attitude is weak, and you note his face is just a bit paler than usual, the bags under his eyes more evident, something was off.
"whats been going on with us mike?" you ask, voice trembling "did... did i do something? you- you've been so distant..."
"its nothing y/n, stop worrying" he says with a scoff, and you bite your lip.
"mike you dont have to lie to me" you say softly, extending your hand out to him to soothe him.
Then something inside him snaps, that movement- that feeling. he couldnt take it.
"God damn it y/n i said nothing is wrong! you never listen! just leave me alone! you clearly only make things worse!" he cries out, and your body freezes.
"o-oh" is all you can say, retracting your trembling hand, clearly in shock
"o-okay um... um i-i'll leave you be..." you mumble under your breath, trying to hide your emotions until you were out of his sight.
you scurry away, biting your lip so hard it draws blood, and the moment you enter your bedroom the tears escape.
you shut the door behind you, leaning against it and sliding to your knees, hand reaching to cover your mouth to hide the sobs.
what had you done?
did you upset him?
is he gonna leave?
so many questions flooded your mind all at once
it was so overwhelming, all you wanted was him... but right now that was the one thing you couldnt have.
so you sat there, leaning against the door of your room for god knows how long.
eventually when no more tears could fall, you lead yourself to your bed, a bed that had been untouched for a few months now due to you always sleeping with mike, and after a few more shaky breaths, you slipped into a uneasy slumber.
As you slept, mike took himself for a drive, his hands gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles faded to white.
he was angry
he was tired
he just wanted to be home
it slowly started to dawn on him that upon his arrival home earlier, his anger had been misdirected.
he wasnt mad at you
he loved you
god- you just wanted to help
why couldnt he see that?
he lets out a shaky sigh, punching his steering wheel as he lets out a few grunts of anger (much to the dismay of the car infront of him)
he decides to leave you be for the time being, and he leads him self on down the winding road, until he comes across an empty parking lot.
he lets himself settle there for a while, staring into the dark abyss in front of him.
eventually he decides to call you, and when you dont pick up... he calls again.
and again.
and... again....
and 12 more times.
he was worried to say the least, what if you left him? what. if you didnt love him anymore?
after the final call he places his phone in his pocket, running a hand through his hair as he starts up the car again and heads home.
in the meantime you were at home, tossing and turning, unable to find a true sense of saftey in your own sheets and god was it horrible.
you didnt notice the buzzing of your phone, nor the vibration any time left another voicemaiil.
so you lay on your back, your teary eyes staring up at the ceiling.
thats when you heard the front door open, the jingling of mikes house keys alongside his work ones
maybe he didnt leave
did he come back for you?
maybe he-
your thoughts are interrupted however by a gentle, almost silent knock at your door. you want to open it, you really do, but you're scared.
for once you put aside your fear and you sit up, quietly tiptoeing over to the door and cracking it open just enough to meet mikes eyes.
both of your teary eyes meet one another, and something snaps within both of you
your grip on the handle goes slack as mike gently pushes further on the door, and the moment it opens enough for him to enter, youre surrounded by him
he kisses you gently, his hands wrapping around you, and you two hold the kiss until you eventually pull away to gasp for air
"im so sorry- i never meant to snap at you baby- i-i- im just so exhausted- work is so hard- i-i never meant to take it out on you- i love you so muc y/n- i"
you cut him off by kissing him again, this kiss growing more heated, your body pressing against his
"its ok" you whisper when you pull away, your foreheads resting against one another
"we'll be ok" you whisper
those 3 words are repeated for the rest of the night, along with other words of praise and affirmation.
the two of you love each other, and tonight it shows.
just as youre about to fall into a warm, peaceful sleep, mike presses a kiss against your damp forehead.
"i love you"
that was all you needed to hear in order to slip into slumber in his embrace.
--
yayayayya mike
i hope that was good
ok ily
bye pookster
102 notes · View notes
chans-muffin · 4 months
Text
skz hyung line x taylor swift eras
Tumblr media Tumblr media
hi stayswiftie ville!!
so, im hiperfixated on both subjects and i love associating taylors eras with the things i enjoy, so w skz it would be no different :) here's my opinion!!
only the hyung line bc i lost inpo during lmao
wc: 420
notes: grammatical errors, ts unbearably, perhaps a wrong view of their personality (?) & i went to far on hyunbini im sorry 😭😭😭 i love them
Tumblr media
bang chan - speak now / reputation!! - bro went to a lot and talked about karma multiple times, rep is something made to perform and impact, at the same time as it has insecure and more of melancholic lyrics. of course all the members went through this, but it's just that is chan more yk. and sn is just. yes. "something in his deep brown eyes has me saying 'hes not all bad like his reputation'" & all of superman & never grow up & back to december 'bout chans room :( & LONG LIVE AND TIMELESS FOR SKZ !! &@,#, im gonna shut up now but i actually have a entire playlist with these and others songs, letmk if you wanna check out :))
lee know - 1989 - i see a lot of this album associated with seungmin. for me, i see more of minho, its just the vibe that he passes on to me, since i don't know him deeply. but it's something more hidden from the media, living your youth in strange ways alongside people u appreciates, idk if it makes sense but ok kansmwj
changbin - debut / taylor swift - oK LISTEN. I KNOW HES SO COOL AND GOD OF RAP AND THEY HAD TO TAKE THE POCKETS OUT OF MY PANTS BECAUSE I WAS JUST WALKING WITH MY HANDS INSIDE THEM bUT- have you ever seen him with THE cowboy hat in topline mv? 🥺 but it's about the beginnings you know, all the way from 3RACHA to stray kids, rock and country on the same album just like we have 'sorry, i love you' and 'thunderous' in noeasy or 'leave' and 'lalalala' (all produced by changbin) he deserves everything! and your talent and effort should be recognized as many times as necessary <33 (and deep down, i also love imagining changbin with a goat with a pink lacy bow on it head KABSEKDHEKJD
hyunjin - evermore - i stand by that so fucking much you have no idea . hyune has a huge impact on stage of course, tHE photos with the red hot chili peppers shirt also made me feel,, things. but he is so much more than that :( he is an hopeless romantic with such beautiful piece arts about love and feelings. he has also shown interest and lived answering philosophical questions in the bubble community (rip 🌷) *han also mentioned that he talked a lot about philosophers with hyunjin, right? i'm not sure now* his arts also have a lot of shades of brown, yellow, gray and black and personally, these colors are very fall colors and "omg i'm in tremendous melancholy" vibe aswell so = sad autumn = evermore. HE ALSO POSTED ABOUT BETTY FROM FOLKLORE AND THESE TWO ARE SISTERS🤓. i really want to someday be able to talk about the lore of 'no body no crime' for him, also talk about the sapphic vibe radiating from 'ivy' and he would love it so much, 'champagne problems' too!! and after that he can post a beautiful photo on insta with 'evermore' in the background ((yes i took the delulu pills today
33 notes · View notes
hanniebanggi · 10 months
Note
SOOOOOO Mtl to apologize first or wait for you to apologize among svt members???????????
sorry for grammatical errors 😭🫶
seokmin: no matter how light or heavy the fight is or even if you two are just bickering. he will always be the first one to apologize. its like its programmed in him and he's such a sweetheart so i deffo see him apologizing first 🥺
seungkwan: some see him like hes always sassy and stuff. but i notice seungkwan always apologizes even though he doesnt have to. like seokmin, its like programmed in him. so he almost apologizes in everything so you always try to tell him to not say sorry all the time.
joshua: one word. gentleman.
wonwoo: i dont think he's the type to let you two just feel bad about each other. he'll probably let you two calm down for an hour or two and then he'll apologize.
minghao: he will sit down beside you as you watch tv on the couch as he places down a cup of tea at the coffee table as he looks at you while caressing your hand. he'd say sorry, and he'll want you to talk about it with each other so he knows more about what ticks you off, or you'll learn more about what ticks him off.
mingyu: he will probably follow you around the house like puppy saying sorry so many times while whining and bear hugging you until you give up.
chan: despite being the maknae of the group. he's one of the most mature members, in my opinion. he'll probably want to talk it out with you before apologizing.
jeonghan: you know how he says sorry in his 'hehehe' way??? idk if u know what im talking bout. but he will say sorry and then tease you before apologizing and after that.
jun: hes the type to feel awkward and not know what to do. but he'll definitely try his best by talking to you little by little until he feels like he can talk to you about what happened and apologize.
hoshi: hes the type to stand on his opinion and have strong feelings about it so i think he'll defend what he thinks thats right as he apologizes (based on ofd japan).
vernon: he just there. not like an npc there. but hes i dont think he'd apologize at first, he would probably try to touch your hand or hug you and if he feels that you're not as mad as you are earlier he will apologize.
woozi: i think he'll calm himself down by going to his studio then he forgets about apologizing since he got so immersed with working but if he remembers is he will immediately apologize as he got home.
seungcheol: not in a bad way okay lol but i just think hes doing it so he can act sulky and you will baby him lol. if you say sorry and kiss him he will probably just melt and say sorry while giving you kisses.
110 notes · View notes
soleilnomoon · 10 months
Note
Tumblr media
Sooo.... there's no way I could ever resist submitting a request in one of your events. +_+ Been hurrying to get up from bed for this, I hope I'll still catch a slot :D so excited you're doing this!!!!
Can I please have some mangos and strawberries, with a Mai Tai (Ace)? <3 I'd love to listen to any combination of the songs #3, #9, #39, #43 (sorry, but this SCREAMS of Ace; also any variant of it, like talking to a 3rd person about it), #38 (couldn't resist the combination). OMG. It's soooo hard to choose....! There's so many combi-ideas! +_+ I absolutely love this! Thank you so much for doing this event! :D
omg hiiii 🥰️ that pic is killing me 😭😭 lmaooo *shakes u* so i rewrote this like 10x i think, but it’s finally done and i am v excited for you to read it. also i’m so happy you requested, you always pick good prompts lmao anyway, ty for being patient 😊 as u know i’m slow as hell when it comes to writing — also the fluff almost killed me!!!! 💗
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
3.5k words (pls pls i know i know!!!! it's not my fault, i blame ace), fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni; fluff (it's there i promise, somewhere) & smut (and angst that u didn't ask for <3); modern au! feat. ace being a menace as usual, reader in denial (serious serious denial) of her feelings, reader's a lil shyyy ok, public sex, (slight) public exhibition, public sex, choking, rough sex, hand job, oral (m receiving), ace being shirtless is a warning, childhood frenz 2 lovers (who am i), mutual pining, reader is foolish & needs to be honest, ace needs to calm down but he never will. idk! probably more stuff idr yk the vibes. (if u see spelling errors/grammar mistakes, no u didn't bb 💕)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
a warm breeze wraps itself around your arms and legs, languid and loving — a heavy embrace that unjustly suffocates, with a light sheen of sweat that belatedly appears on your forehead. your denim shorts ride up higher on your thighs the more you move around; for some reason, you just can’t seem to get comfortable. loud music wafts from your parents’ house through the open sliding doors, the beats catchy and mesmerizing, lulling you into a much more relaxed state as you continue to lounge on the hammock in the backyard. another breeze glides along your skin, making you roll over onto your back, the rope from the hammock rough but comforting.
to keep yourself from spiraling, you close your eyes and soak up as much of the sun as possible. your lips are a little red and sticky from the popsicle you ate just a few minutes ago; it helped to cool you down for a bit, but the heat is relentless and oppressive.
after graduating from college, you left home and traveled for a few years; you’ve always had that itch, a desire to roam about freely without having anything — or anyone — tying you down. it’s why you left so quickly; it’s why you didn’t say goodbye properly; and it’s why you’ve been on edge all afternoon.
you groan loudly before covering your face with your hands.
“this is so stupid.” your words are muffled and strained, your frustration rising along with the temperature outside. it’s simple — all you have to do is casually strike up conversation with him and act like nothing’s changed.
so easy, right?
you desperately want it to be, but the universe has a penchant for bad jokes and the punch line is currently on its way to disrupt your life.
“he probably won’t even come by anyway,” you continue to mumble before dropping your hands. a frown climbs onto your lips afterwards. the idea that your parents might actually be wrong, that he isn’t going to come by like he promised he would, is all too much for you to deal with.
and suddenly, you feel like you can’t breathe; the air grows thick enough to choke on, an obnoxious thudding growing louder and louder in your ears—
but before you can succumb to your unfortunate demise, someone pinches your nose, disrupting the chaotic flow of thoughts pummeling into you one right after the other. squirming around, you stare, wide-eyed, at the last person you thought you’d see today.
despite pressing his lips together, it does nothing to stop him from laughing at you — not maliciously, but he really can’t help it. your look of genuine shock and confusion is cute. really, really cute. adorable, even. maybe it’s because he hasn’t seen you in so long, or maybe it’s because he’s been waiting for a moment like this to pop up so you both can finally have that one conversation you keep running away from.
you are wholly unprepared to see ace this soon; words rush from the pit of your stomach up to your mouth, ready to fling ace’s way without restraint. but, as always, you hold back. you’ve gotten quite good at biting your tongue, at stamping out certain emotions; it’s better, easier that way.
no one gets hurt, right?
right.
with a sly smile, ace slides his sunglasses away from his face, upwards onto his hair; you were in such a daze that you barely heard him walk over. which worked out fine for ace, because he could look at you freely without you hiding from him like you usually do — a thing he hopes you’ve grown out of in the time you’ve spent apart.
if you thought you couldn’t breathe before, you’re definitely gasping for air now. lips parted, you inhale deeply as a completely different kind of heat surges through you faster than you’d like. he pauses for a moment before gently swiping his thumb along your plush bottom lip.
an insidious thudding echoes loudly around your ears, and you realize, in fear, that it’s the sound of your heart — beating erratically at his proximity and touch. talking feels impossible, so you remain silent and stare at him in disbelief.
it feels like an eternity passes before ace smiles again, your eyes track the way his lips slowly curve upward, bringing about that familiar dimple in his right cheek. something possesses you to reach up to touch his cheek, the tips of your fingers barely grazing his skin when you realize what you’re doing. you snatch your hand back quickly, a light-headedness descending upon you right after.
on impulse, ace leans down until his lips ghost over yours, the familiarity of the gesture triggering a memory so strong that goosebumps unceremoniously prickle your skin without remorse. you remember exactly how skillful his mouth is; you remember how your limbs were tangled with his; and you remember how you almost blurted out a hidden truth that you refused to admit to. he’d gone still, nearly statuesque as an unreadable look morphed onto his face; fear of rejection had you scrambling away from his embrace, nearly out of breath as you darted out of his bedroom without looking back.
remorse finds its way to you again, but your thoughts are too scattered to properly feel it. if you don’t figure something out soon, you’ll give in to him all over again — and you simply can’t do that.
however, ace has a way of diverting your plans with his whims and spontaneity.
“hey, pretty,” he says, voice low and husky, with a hint of that mischievous and boyish charm he’s well-known for; his hand on your hip is practically scalding, his thumb coasting dangerously on your soft stomach, but you don’t push him away. a soft whimper dares to slip out of your mouth when his grip tightens and you’re so sure that he’s going to kiss you — but he doesn’t.
ace straightens up and sticks his hands into his pockets, all innocent-like, completely disregarding the fact that he’s the reason why your heart is beating loud enough to rattle your bones. his cologne lingers — a rich and heavy, spiced scent with hints of blackberry — and you get drunk from it, mind a little hazy. you’re in too much shock to feel any sort of shame, and if he wasn’t so intent on teasing you for a bit longer, he would’ve already succumbed to the temptation of kissing you.
he really just meant to say hi, but you were being cute while talking out loud to yourself, your voice traveling further than you probably wanted; it was the sight of your exposed legs — curvy and soft, skin glistening almost flawlessly under the sun — that really fueled his audacity. since you’re prone to running, he did the only thing that made sense: invade your personal space. it’s the only way to keep you still long enough to talk.
or, so he thought.
“w-what are you doing here?” you ask in a panic, moving around on the hammock, eyes widening again as you shamelessly stare at his chest. he still has that peculiar habit of walking around shirtless, which is your justification for why you keep looking at him like that — his abs look more defined than before, but you refrain from touching him again.
ace completely ignores your question and instead says, “you’re hot.” he tilts his head a bit, that sly grin finding its way onto his lips again when you stumble over your words.
“i—what?”
you sit up and climb off the hammock with clumsy and hurried movements. thankfully he has the decency to not laugh this time, but that pesky dimple resurfaces, and you have to ball your hands into fists and sink your nails into your palms to keep yourself from saying something unnecessary and embarrassing.
“why are you—” you cut yourself off, take a deep breath, and try again, “i don’t understand.”
is he joking? he has to be, there’s no way he’s forgiven you for leaving him like that; and even though he called you pretty earlier, you’re sure that’s just his way of wanting to rile you up for his own amusement.
and while you’re not entirely wrong about that, he was being serious.
he lifts his chin and motions to your chest; sweat glides down your neck and sneaks in between your cleavage. you realize, then, that he meant that you literally looked hot. pressing your lips together firmly, you decide against speaking and opt to march past him instead. you don’t get far, if anything ace only allows you to move a few feet away before wrapping a strong arm around your waist and pulling you back.
your mouth dries and you try to wiggle out of his grasp, but he doesn’t let up.
“you’re hurting my feelings, y’know,” he says quietly, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. you bite your lower lip before rolling it in between your teeth, contemplating his words. you know you’re being ridiculous, and you know you owe him an explanation — your cowardice nearly wins out, but you settle down and sigh softly.
“you’re right, i’m sorry.” for so many things, but you keep that bit to yourself.
ace only laughs again at your austere demeanor. “just kidding, i just want to be selfish right now.” something about that sets your skin on fire, although it probably doesn’t help that ace places a kiss on the side of your neck before you can respond to him properly.
suddenly, all that fight that you had — that determination to avoid him completely — leaves your body. on a sharp inhale you turn around and look up at him curiously, to see if he’s actually being serious or not; ace stares at you intently, adoration saturated in lust clouding his vision. he holds onto the back of your neck and kisses you, his tongue playfully licking your bottom lip, grinning at how sweet you taste.
you shiver and open your mouth for him as he kisses you again, slow and sensuous, your legs nearly giving out from the intensity. his hand travels down your back, its descent searing and playful; you kiss him back with fervor and enthusiasm, lips moving against his as if this is a common occurrence for you two.
his tongue swirls around yours and when his large hand moves lower to grab your ass, you nearly lose your mind. there’s an intense, unavoidable ache in between your thighs as you cling onto him desperately, whimpering softly against his lips. he told himself he’d take it slow, but the way you’re reacting to him only confirms what he’s always known: you want him just as much as he wants you.
it’s in between heated tongue kisses that ace suggests a change in location. dazed and slightly confused, you feel yourself nodding as he tugs you along with him, anticipation making you stumble over your sandaled feet. he has half a mind to just carry you back inside, but you eventually keep up with his long strides. you hide behind ace when your parents step outside, boisterously chatting with a few of their guests as they sit at the table on the deck underneath the large awning. you’re glad they barely take notice of you — they’re halfway drunk already — and ace laughs at your demure behavior, prompting you to pinch his arm playfully and shushing him. it’s your feeble attempt at sneaking by without anyone interrogating you.
when you successfully make it back into your house, you let out a sigh, embracing the cool air.
“that was close,” you say out loud and at ace’s puzzled expression, you motion to your parents outside, “they almost saw us.”
he blinks slowly and lifts a brow. “so?” ace has never been one to hide like that, so he’s unsure why you want to.
“what do you mean ‘so’?” your face burns as soon as the words leave your mouth; you’re not sure why you’re feeling bashful, but it becomes harder and harder to look at ace. maybe it’s because you’re so aroused that you’d let him fuck you in the kitchen without complaint, or maybe it’s because you can’t come to terms with your feelings for him.
or, maybe it’s a combination of both.
either way, ace doesn’t know why you care.
sighing loudly he walks out of the kitchen, fully expecting you to follow — and you do. you’re unsure if you’ve said the wrong thing; actually, you know you’ve said the wrong thing, but before you can apologize, ace pushes you against the wall, hands placed on either side of your head as he cages you in.
“who cares if anyone sees?”
he’s right, you know that; it doesn’t make it any less embarrassing. but when he presses places a kiss on your neck, you melt — heart beating faster than necessary, making you dizzy with want. you place your hands on his chest, his muscles firm under your soft touch; ace inhales sharply when you bring your hands lower, his cock stiff and heavy in his shorts, an irritating reminder that his self-restraint is dissipating quickly.
later on, when you reflect on this moment, you’ll chastise yourself about how impulsive you both were — fucking in your hallway while your parents entertain guests not even forty feet away — but for now, you just want to indulge in the fantasy and not think about anything.
ace grabs your wrist clumsily, suddenly remembering himself while halting your movements. you blink at him, confused and anxious; maybe he changed his mind about everything? maybe this was payback for the last time you were together — and, if you’re honest, you can’t exactly blame him. swallowing hard, you relax your face and opt for a more neutral expression.
normally much more forthcoming with his wants and desires, ace hesitates, momentarily, dark brows furrowed as a frown settles onto his lips.
“maybe we shouldn’t…,” he closes his eyes and presses his forehead against yours, inhaling deeply, your perfume immobilizing him temporarily before he speaks again. “you deserve better than me.”
you sit with his words for a moment but it’s not long before your hands work at tugging his shorts and underwear down. he looks at you, light brown cheeks flushed slightly when he notices the way you’re staring. you knew he was big, but goodness — still, you don’t let that deter you, and wrap a hand around his cock and slowly stroke it. ace lets out a quiet groan and it encourages you to move your hand faster.
with a soft peck on his lips, you say, “that’s not for you to decide.” which is all you’ll say on the matter. your feelings for him were too big for you to handle before, but now — now that you’ve been forced to confront your own damn self, a belated sense of clarity falls over you. it was never easy to convey your feelings into words when it came to him, but you’re very sure that he’ll understand you now.
ace’s hips jut forward when your grip around his cock tightens; he lets out a low hiss, doing his best not to be too loud since you’re so adamant about not getting caught. pre-cum spills from his slit, down onto your hand; a fascinating sight that has you sinking to your knees without much thought and replacing your hand with your mouth.
at that he moans much louder than he means to, but once your plush lips wrap around the thick head of his cock, he stops caring.
“fuck,” he breathes, leaning against the wall for support as you flick your tongue against his slit — a dangerous move, but one that you make with the full confidence that ace would, in turn, fuck you like you’ve always wanted him to.
you run your tongue down his length with gusto, as if his cock was an addictive summer treat. and, maybe it is, because you open your mouth and bob up and down his length. you use your hands for what you can’t fit in your mouth, moaning around him as you press your thighs together. your mouth is sinfully warm and wet — forbidden, almost; he grabs a fistful of your hair, holding you steady as he thrusts his hips forward.
holding onto his thighs, you slacken your jaw and keep your tongue flat, arousal building as he fucks your mouth. he knows he should be gentle, but he’s reached his limit and you’re being so compliant — he can’t really help himself. not that you mind, your panties are already damp from your slick arousal; his movements are rushed and purposeful, but you enjoy the way he’s seemingly lost control of himself.
you gag around him, breathe deeply through your nose, and ignore the tears that spill down your round cheeks. ace moans your name and your heart expands pitifully in your chest, warmth traveling all along your body. he knows he’ll never last if he keeps this up, so he pulls out of you without warning. you nearly fall over but you hold onto him, looking up at him curiously, long lashes tantalizing and mesmerizing as your tears start to dry.
he pulls you up to your feet and kisses you again with a hand wrapped around your throat; he gives it a teasing squeeze and you moan against his lips. it doesn’t take long before you unbutton your shorts and pull them down with your panties — your thighs trembling with each passing second. you wrap your legs around him possessively when he picks you up; the kisses grow more urgent and sloppier, your heart threatening to kill you mercilessly with how hard its beating.
this must be what dying feels like, you tell yourself, although when he rubs the tip of his cock in between your slick folds, you buck your hips forward and beg him to stop teasing you.
since he’s not that cruel, ace lines the head of his cock with your entrance and inches forward; sucking in a bit of air, you hold onto him tightly, and when you relax, ace thrusts into you. the moan you let out is absolutely indecent, your pussy a lewd, greedy thing that swallows his cock without much issue. with long strokes, ace knocks his hips against yours, a strangled cry slipping out of you unexpectedly. ace kisses you again and again — an attempt to keep you quiet — but soon, his strokes get shorter and frenzied as he fucks you harder, almost like he wants to incapacitate you with an orgasm.
you wouldn’t mind going out like that, especially when ace is fucking you like that, balls slapping against your ass loudly, mouth hungrily searching for his while you harshly drag your nails down the back of his neck. he doesn’t mind as the pain is minimal, and he likes the idea of you marking him the way he’s marked you.
it becomes increasingly difficult to keep quiet, but you’ve long forgotten why you needed to keep quiet in the first place. your saving grace is that your parents and their friends are more intoxicated than you originally thought and are in their own world as they laugh and dance outside. somewhere down the line, you lost your common sense — you suppose it happened when ace came to find you earlier — and because of that, you let go. your cunt squeezes around him tightly, your arousal coating the length of him; ace angles his hips and his cock reaches a spot that’s deep enough to make you babble at him incoherently.
he laughs and drops a playful kiss on your lips, his hands gripping your ass as he powers into you. a flash of white robs you of your vision, a liquid heat swirling around your lower abdomen as you cum hard with his name in your mouth. hips rolling forward, he bites your neck recklessly and your orgasm intensifies.
“oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. yes!” you chant without restraint, throat hoarse, voice raw. he breathes unevenly, thrusting feverishly into your puffy pussy, his own orgasm finding him shortly after.
ace groans as he presses open-mouthed kisses down your throat, your whines saccharine and enticing; there are so many things he wants (and needs) to say, but he pushes that aside, deciding to enjoy this moment with you instead. you pant lightly and hold onto him, heartbeat slowing until it matches his. you should probably hurry up and get dressed, since there’s no telling when someone will come through that hallway, but you can’t be bothered right now. you’re much more interested in the way ace kisses you again, leaving you breathless and terribly in love.
if you were privy to his thoughts, you’d know that he feels the same way and has felt that way for a long, long time — and sometimes he feels like he loves you a little too much. still, you feel much lighter now, sighing softly as you arch against him; the intimacy of it, surprisingly, doesn’t scare you, and now you wonder if maybe you were thinking too much about everything before. it seems that your problem has always had a simple solution, but you’re just glad that ace pushed you to figure it out. it isn’t something you’d normally do, but for ace you have a tendency to think and act impulsively without warning; he likes that side of you, and hopes that you’ll keep acting like that in the future.
56 notes · View notes
hotchs-bitch · 1 year
Note
Hiiii, hope you're doing good today 🤠 could i get a blurb from the Well Respected universe with Hotch and reader from before they got together 🥺 maybe her first day on the job or something, idk I'm feeling fluffy lmao
Hiiiiii <33 you absolutely can!!! I hope you’re having an amazing day. Also if I ever write a prequel chapter you have to pinky promise to pretend this doesn’t exist bc continuity errors give me a headache <3
Ps I do not think this is fluffy enough and I’m so sorry😭 pre relationship makes me so nervous to write fluff for cause I don’t want them to be TOO familiar yk
“Sir? The new agent is here to see you!” Garcia chirps from the doorway, and Hotch glances up from his paperwork without lifting her head. “I like her. She’s very… well, you’ll see!”
She flits away without a word, leaving Hotch only slightly nervous as to what she means. Her presence in the doorway is replaced by a shadow a second later, and then he sees you.
It’s a good thing that Hotch’s unwavering professionalism is one of his strong suits. Otherwise, god only knows what sort of embarrassing reaction he would have the first time he sees your smile. He blinks once, twice, snaps himself out of the haze he didn’t realize he had fallen into while you stick out your hand.
“Agent Hotchner, it’s nice to meet you. I’m here for orientation,” you say, and your eyes are so wide, your face is so eager, and Hotch is just grateful that your profiling skills aren’t as developed as his own. Yet.
He shakes your hand as he stands up from his desk, and nods when you introduce yourself. He commits both name and pronunciation to memory, then rounds the desk. “Let me show you around,” he offers, and when you nod he starts towards the open door.
“This is a really nice office,” you tell him, and he can’t tell if you’re trying to fill the silence or if you genuinely think that. “It’s an honour to work with you, sir. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Hotch hums, a short noise from somewhere in his throat. “Not all bad, I hope,” he murmurs. It’s fruitless; he knows you’ve probably heard all about what an overworked asshole he is. His reputation precedes him in most circles, for better and for worse.
“Not at all,” you assure him as he leads you to the conference room. When you start to turn in the wrong direction out of his office, he guides you with a hand on your back to keep you on track while letting you speak. “Well, I mean. I’ve heard a lot.”
A wry chuckle escapes him against his better judgement. “I’m sure you have. This is the conference room; every time a new case comes in, we meet here to go over the details. Garcia is currently transitioning us away from paper files, so we should be a little more high-tech in a few months.”
“Penelope, right?” you double check and he nods in answer while you look at the TV screen, chairs, and file folders. “She seems nice. Very bubbly.”
“She’s very nice. Bubbly is a good word for it,” he answers smoothly. Something about you is bringing his guard down, and he hesitates for a moment. “You’ve heard a lot, you said. About the team?”
You shrug one shoulder and follow him out of the conference room and down the stairs to the bullpen. “Some stuff about the team. Some stuff about the leader.”
Hesitancy is written all over your face. Hotch stops walking, forcing you to stop as well. When you make eye contact with him, he raises one eyebrow. Tell me more, it seems to say.
Maybe you’re feeling ballsy because it’s your first day, or maybe something about the arch of that eyebrow makes you want to tell him anything he wants to know. “They just never told me you’d look like that,” you murmur, averting your gaze again. “What’s next?”
That’s… well, it’s not what Hotch was expecting to hear. He files that thought away for later, then puts a hand on your back to guide you towards the cluster of desks that make up the BAU. “We’re full of surprises,” he says quietly, and it doesn’t take a profiler’s eye to see the way goosebumps rise on the back of your neck when you walk in front of him. “Let me introduce you to my team.”
109 notes · View notes
sparklingpax · 1 year
Note
“Are you always this shy?” With Optimus and Ratchet? (Forgive me if I'm doing this wrong, I've only been following you for a moment)
From this (requests are still open btw! I need these moments to take my mind off irl stuff ngl qwq)
HELLO HI THIS IS VERY OVERDUE!! (as are the other ones, which will be posted very soon, I promise o///o) Also no worries at all, you did this right!! :D
I am the one who should be asking for forgiveness rn, because no one should have to wait this long jsddjsdj TwT
I know it's been a long minute, but I hope you enjoy my blog and all my shenanigans (even at least somewhat ahah ^^'')
-Im deeply sorry for typos and other such grammatical errors 😭
-I went with a sort of "early war" kind of thing, like right after Ratchet becomes a part of Optimus' team. (Not sure this is probably not even how this would have played out or did, but I am taking ARTISTIC LISENCE and doing my own version of events....idk ;w;)
-Also, it is a bit short ;///; sorry....hope you like it tho!
-Set in aligned continuity/tfp
-i guess its a lil bit of optiratch ya know? just a lil (for my own enjoyment ^w^)
///
“Ratchet.”
“Don’t.”
“But the team wants to–”
“Well they’ll have to do whatever it is another time–I’m too busy!!” the shorter mech snapped, cutting him off. He quickly reached into his toolbox and fumbled to grab something. Optimus took a step closer, trying to peer over his shoulder, curious.
“What are you working on?”
“A–uhm–this set of some…very difficult formulas!” The medic stammered, not yet turned to face him. “I-I need time, some quiet…I…I’m simply far too busy to do anything right now!” 
He finally set his grip on an object, looking over his shoulder at Optimus as he brandished a wrench and waved it demonstratively. But as he held the wrench, Optimus noticed the tip of the object quivering in Ratchet’s grip. 
After another sharp huff, he turned his back to Optimus again, leaning over the table, which was covered in rust and dirt. He set the wrench down quietly and stood still. 
Optimus wondered if he was going to explain the wrench at all, or…
“...Alright, I’m…” Another sigh and pause. Optimus waited patiently. “I’m…not exactly busy with…formulas, I’m just…well, it’s just–I…I don’t…”
“You’re…nervous?”
Ratchet made a sound that seemed to agree. 
Optimus fought the urge to giggle at how this was kind of cute–he didn’t want the medic to feel any more embarrassed than he probably already did. Instead, he strode closer to him, resting a gentle servo on his shoulder. 
“I understand. You may take as long as you need before you go out and meet them,” he said quietly. 
Ratchet ducked his head. 
“But I feel bad about…” 
Optimus shook his head, looking down at him with gentle regard. 
“There is nothing to feel bad about, Ratchet. It would cause you discomfort if you went to meet everyone now, and I know neither you nor I would enjoy that. And, they are your new team as of now, so they will be around for quite a while.”
Ratchet finally looked back at Optimus, seeming less bothered than he had been–just a little more relaxed. Optimus was glad, smiling back at him. 
“Well then…” Ratchet murmured, moving to return to looking at the table. “I do have some work to do…”
He jumped right into it, and Optimus simply watched, leaning against the table. He eyed a light flicker above them briefly, then let his gaze wander to the faded papers tacked to the walls. It wasn’t really a medical room, but it was the best available to them in their situation. 
Squinting, he could see even more that these posters must not have been Ratchet’s–being advertisements for a shop of some kind, or pictures of a musical artist he was sure neither of them knew… 
“You know…” Ratchet said quietly, breaking the silence, “...I do want to meet the team. I’ll need to get to know them in the event of injuries and such, anyway…”
Optimus tilted his head, still looking at the contents of the room. 
“There are many of us in this unit. Is it that there are too many at once?”
“...that would be it.”
“I suppose I never saw you with big groups unless you knew everybot or were giving presentations back on Cybertron,” Optimus remarked. “Are you…always this shy?”
“Well it's not exactly shyness, but I believe you know what I mean as…” Ratchet chuckled little. He put down his tools again and looked up to find Optimus staring back at him. He remembered the eyes that looked back at him when they were in Ratchet’s old dorm at university, as he worked on a project for class, and Orion came just to watch…to keep him company. 
Those same eyes that still looked to him with interest and curiosity. 
Oh Orion…some things never change. 
“...you were too, once,” he said finally, looking back to his desk and attempting to focus and get back to work. But he stopped at a touch on his hand, staring back up at his friend. Optimus had a somewhat melancholy look pooled in the back of his gaze. 
“And I still am. But as a leader…I have to…work around it.” 
Ratchet leaned forward and into Optimus, who wrapped his arms around him in a gentle embrace. 
“I know, Optimus,” he whispered. 
He silently resolved to go see the others later that very night. If Optimus could do it, well…then he wanted to as well.
Thank you, Optimus.
///
24 notes · View notes
super-novatuna · 10 months
Text
Discussing/Going Slightly Crazy over Tears of Themis Main Story 09: Grey Frontier, a Post
will definitely contain spoilers under the cut!
HOO BOY TALK ABOUT MORE QUESTIONS THAN ANSWERS. NONE OF MY PREVIOUS QUESTIONS WERE ANSWERED AND NOW I HAVE MORE HOLY MOLY
my heart dropped when i didn't see a Trial level. more questions, less answers.
let's start by discussing the squares in the little bingo made by @/actualbird, who i will not tag because i do not want to spoil him accidentally. thank u zak for ur services :D
Tumblr media
one thing to note is that there are NO bingos this chapter, mainly because one thing most of us probably didn't expect lmao: NXX SEPARATED.
unthinkable. unimaginable. like there's practically NO team stuff in ch9. that's insane. artem was flooded with heirson cases, vyn was dealing with.. whatever the fuck he was doing, marius was presumably busy with managing the backlash of the trial in 08, and that leaves luke, who even though is the one that mc can tag along with for a case is still busy on his own with nsb stuff. hardly any teamwork happening, besides if you count marius' "interrogation" where luke gave him his button back and vyn just guiding mc to figure out what the suicide notes meant... yeah. not to mention artem being skye's attorney???. 99% Win Rate Artem Wing. hello. I have never been more confused. what's the plot behind this? are they all orchestrating a behind-the-scenes plan that'll come together, or are they really all doing their own shit? I'm leaning more towards the former given the nature of the game but gosh this is taking a TURN
translation errors were a lil funny but i could still understand the point which is all i need.
vyn doesn't say anything ominous but saying kys out of nowhere counts a little i think.
jerome 🫰 hes cute but he's uncanny and I'm so curious as to what he's up to. telling the little girl to get marius to pay was nice but there must've been an underlying intention.
no nxx team meeting (i mean with luke and artem. that barely counts because artem was so busy he just let luke have her).
mc figured out abt luke's illness but from what I'm seeing nothing is quite clear and she doesn't know he's got three years oof. artem has a clue but I'm sure he knows nothing either. and marius and vyn have their suspicions but nothing's sure or confirmed.
LUKE PROTECT ROSA !!! YEAHHHH watch ur back u bitchass macho king
do parallels btwn skye and the incident with luke in the hospital count as symbolism idk I'm counting it. i think there's some symbolism a little bit.
for our romantic moment before something terrible happens, ah yes, sweet and worried words on a phone call and then luke has a whole episode. yay. delightful. luke don't fucking die.
no tot story would be complete without an absurd mid-story debate. damn, right in front of the secret nsb station???
no weird luke gadget 😔 sorry he was busy being sick
found family? they aren't even together the marluke moment was barely anything. artem worried about luke having an episode... counts a little. not enough to warrant even a question mark 😔
no nxx meeting, no hilarious bullshit from a boy. sad.
WHAT IS THE TIMELINE SHAKES HYV WHAT IS GOING ON
free space luke is dying
AARON YIPPEEE. good dad.
vincent is a good boy but no intel from him. just him being Best Assistant. Bestest ever.
I didn't cry but i am close to a mental breakdown
LUKE DEPRESSION ASHDJKWKW poor guy.
not sure if Emotionally Charged and Slight Conflict counts as an argument but personally i think kinda?
no baldr because NO TRIAL AAHFJSJJSK
not only do i have more questions about the new Big Bad but I have questions about WHATEVER THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH THE WHOLE TEAM.
voice acting 🔛🔝 as always.
NO COURT 😓😓😓😭😭😭
marius was pretty badly injured what the hell WHERE'S HIS PERSONAL BODYGUARD AJDJFWJ LUKE CAN U DO A LIL FAVOR PERHAPS
artem? almost no artem. AND NO CAPTAIN MORGAN IN THIS STORY AT ALL 🥹🥲
luke's hands. r so pretty. in both goddamn illustrations. eeeee
okay and that's all the bingo points sorted, most of it sorted. two other things that piqued my interest was
1. skye harper. she loves taking care of people and she hates seeing people suffering. gerard suffered because of his mom and so many patients suffered because of tyson turner. she wants to protect her patients and the people she favors. i support her actions btw she's so cool for that. artem also supports her so that's a point in our favor! i also think her drinking all night when gerard disappeared definitely is relevant somehow, we'll see in the next chapter.
2. mc is probably feeling a little left out ngl. everyone's got their own thing, and she can't really actively participate in much because she got doxxed and her personal life is being pried into. and she can't do much about anything, not even help artem for some reason, and she's definitely having a personal conflict especially with luke's... everything. i just love mc's character so much i hope she snaps soon tbh.
thus ends my crazy goings. if u read all the way here kudos have a cookie 🍪
and when we get to the whole team about luke's illness... rubs hands together. hoo boy ch10 is going to go CRAZY.
ALSO the nsb is definitely shady and marius does not trust em all that much. i think he trusts luke but his affiliation with the nsb is causing some distance. aaa.
12 notes · View notes
earlyevenings · 1 year
Text
about the final volume..
okay, first of all;
SURESH IMPROVISED THAT SPEECH? jesus christ, perks of having a lawyer boyfriend i guess. That was the best speech we've seen yet in my honest opinion. Breathtaking.
now, let's get started;
as i said before, the writing sucks.
justice for lulu. my girl deserved to stay
suresh is being giga melty. i don’t think we’ve ever had a love interest simp like that over us. eat your heart out, reddit, our man love us.
‘someone’s smiling down on me today 😊’ had no business being this cute btw 😭
sex was.. well.. underwhelming to say the least, but i’m not exactly surprised.
loved the amount of kisses we got, hate the way they were written.
i can’t stress this enough, the writing absolutely sucks, SO MANY ERRORS
kat’s being a bitch, per usual, except the next scene she’s being nice. And then the next scene she’s a bitch again. And then she’s.. nice again? Make up your mind boo
‘yolo’? ‘nsfw’? ‘raw animalistic display’? are you serious?
dana and alfie, please take a fucking hint, i’m begging you. I.DONT.WANT.YOU.
suresh's speech was a masterpiece.
mc's speech however?... girl, you could do much better
FUCKING HELL THE PROPOSAL, that was so embarrassing you guys 😭 why would they ever think it was a good idea WHY.
episode 42 was a disgrace.
it doesn’t sit right with me that nobody told kat about finn flirting with us and literally trying to bone us behind her back
oh bobby… what have they done to you…
the fact that we couldn’t actually see our best bits… so disappointing
suresh getting mad at bobby is sending me 💀💀
why do i imagine suresh just looking at mc with heart eyes, clinging to her and agreeing with everything she says like a puppy. man is down bad
the interview with bobby feels so robotic. THATS NOT HOW REAL PEOPLE INTERACT
the bit about suresh wanting to be a celebrity? not canon. not canon at all. resh, baby, you’re a lawyer, not an influencer.
WHERE’S THE AFTER PARTY??????
overall, i'm very glad we finally got to spend some time with our love interest. it's just a shame that every single conversation we had with them (with suresh at least) was about how happy they are that we're together. like, yes baby, i know you're very sorry, and i know you feel lucky that i gave you a chance, and YES i do want to be together and i do see a future with you. if i didn't, i wouldn't have picked you for christ's sake. can we please talk about something else?
i feel like they just tried to squeeze in every single ounce of love they had into these final episodes to somehow, idk, make up? for the lack of one-on-one happy time with the love interests this season. but they didn't have to bomb us with the same conversation every few minutes... i would still like to see some couple dynamic yk
i honestly don't think we're getting a reunion, feels like they've given up on them (hope i'm wrong). it's a shame, cause i feel like it's absolutely needed to actually let us enjoy the time with the lis.
i did love that the first two episodes were so long tho, it would've felt even more rushed if they kept them short like the rest of the season.
11 notes · View notes
abysslll · 2 years
Note
this fucker has killed someone hasn't he
ive tried so hard to avoid hayloft II since it came out cuz it reminds me of those angst mlp animations and you do this to me. crying /j anyways does this character has daddy and/or parental issues in general. were they not there for him
so far I'm just getting murder vibes from this guy. either he has killed or was killed (dont tell me yet. i still need to watch bsd)
self destructive coping mechanisms. or just self destructive in general i dont think this guy copes
hes a vibe. i would not want him within 100 feet of me.
fnaf vibes from drunk by the living tombstones. 10/10. this guy is a threat to society
reminds me of that one comment on here "Unrelated note I just put in my first kill order on the dark web 💖 love and light"
i like. wanna sue him but idk why
arsonist? attempted or actually did it or he wants to?
ohhhhhh he hates himself heres the mental illness i was waiting for this one. not hates himself as in self-esteem but like yk? he probably has anger issues and takes it out on other people. he sounds like a good charactert to project on
he'd be part of the food poisoning polycule
impulsive and no consideration for consequences. probably got someone killed. vague bpd vibes. why am i projecting onto a character i dont even know
^I DIDNT KILL ANYONE I DIDNT MEAN THAT BY PROJECTING IMEANT LIKE THE BPD PART– i shouldve worded that better why must backaspace not work now
final thoughts: mental illness, a threat to society, a vibe, a killer
this is really funny you got it like. Perfectly. but also wayyy to the left
he is a killer! he has killed Many people :D
i'm so sorry for submitting u to hayloft 2 😭 he doesn't have daddy issues (his parents don't exist, long story) but he DOES have a gun- i don't really have a reason for adding hayloft i just feel like i could see it playing over an amv for him lmao
he is so so so self destructive. i didn't put drunk in just for the vibes, he is A Drunk™ (and also a threat to society)
dfghjklkj i have literally never seen that comment but it works so well for him-
WHY DO YOU WANT TO SUE HIM LHGFSDFG he is an arsonist tho. not in canon but in spirit
he has anger issues so bad sdfdsghgf, also abandonment issues but we don't talk about those. he's the king of mental illness
the food poisoning wH at
you may be projecting onto him but you are So Fucking Right about the bpd and impulsiveness and getting people killed, you have summed up chuuya in one paragraph
SALEM. MURDER ASIDE WDYM YOU WROTE THIS WHOLE THING WITHOUT BACKSPACE WITH ONLY LIKE> THREE SPELLING ERRORS HOW THE ACTuAL FUCK
8 notes · View notes
elliotapricot · 2 years
Text
The Inheritance Games Book 1 Review
Update 08/26/22: I fucking lied. No I didn't finish the book, I only got 56 percent through TBH 😭😭😭 It's just when I wrote this review, I thought I'd have finished it and edited it with a better understanding of the story by the time I uploaded this post. But I never finished it, I couldn't bring myself too. Point still stands that it's not the worst book I've read. It's not a bad book. Just couldn't convince myself to keep reading/I did try to keep reading but at the pace of like a couple pages a week 😔 I think I couldn't finish the story cuz it feels TOO high school/wattpad in a way that makes it feel unrelatable to me??? In my full review below, you'll see more of what I meant. Maybe if I feel bored, I'll try to finish the book, but I got other books on my Kindle I think I'll prioritize first.
Tumblr media
The vibes are like a mishmash of The Westing Game, Knives Out, Umbrella Academy, and a wattpad story, more specifically a bts/kpop fanfiction or "I got sold to 1D" wattpad story BUT IN A GOOD WAY I SWEAR. Like make the grammar worse and add more spelling errors, and I deadass could imagine this front page of wattpad. It's because, let's be real, this story ain't literature and that's perfectly fine. We're here to watch this girl become a Crazy Rich not Asian be surrounded by four cute equally not Asian and unequally Rich boys.
I thank the advent of booktok and the resurgence of YA/NA literature because I have so many books to read now and I'm out of my reading stump, but I wish this book (amongst others) was written a few years prior. Because, I'm not getting any younger. I'm 22, which to some is a baby age, and to others, is ancient *shudders* so unfortunately YA main characters are now outside of the age range that I find to be attractive. Luckily, I like to read stories as if I'm the main character (a consequence from my obsession with otome games and interactive fiction) so I just imagine myself in her shoes if I was the same age. But since ya know REALITY is older, I found myself attracted to NASH of all people in this book lmaooo. I'm an unfortunate sucker for bad boys, and he was the only age appropriate boy to lock onto lmaooo.
If I read this book at 18, I would've ate Grayson and Jameson UPPPP. Jameson weirdly and vaguely reminds me of Albert Moriarty specifically from the Moriarty anime and is crossed with Benedict from Bridgerton. IDK I think it's the more cheeky/sly vibes while still being kinda emo. Grayson's personality is typically more my type and yet I found him to be kind of a shit IM SORRY. I think it's cuz the story suffers a tad bit by the wattpad-esque vibes in that the characters need to drive the point home that "this is my character and my personality!!!" Xander's personality was very Honey-senpai/BOY vibes so I'm not even gonna comment on him, in my eyes he's a child and nothing else.
Now the female lead. Avery, Avery, Avery. The girl who is constantly getting her name said wrong. I have a friend in real life named Avery, but her personality is so different from this story's Avery that I can't imagine them being remotely the same. Avery here is ... she's Y/N and I think anybody reading this story can see what I mean, in the nicest possible way. She was THIS CLOSE 🤏 to me calling her a pick-me. THIS CLOSE MMKAY 🤏 but she never quite reached that point so I can forgive her. Avery is on THIN ICE for me liking her. I give her a lot of benefit of the doubt cuz she's 17 and she's proven over and over in this book's universe that she's a bonafide GENIUS. But I live in reality, and to me, she's just a smart cookie, genius being a stretch. I just have a personal pet peeve with geniuses in media, specifically that I've yet to read/watch a character I've felt was truly a "genius" by real world standards. And yes, this applies to even my precious baby Spencer Reid. And yes, this applies to Benny Cumberbund's Sherlock Holmes. I solved every episode before him except for the Hound of the Baskervilles episode cuz of the whole psychedelic trip thingy going on + the later end episodes where there's no case just *plot*.
Now if you couldn't tell I'm a sucker for escape rooms, murder mysteries, puzzles, riddles, etc. but surprisingly I don't read too much of the mystery genre. But what frustrated me a tad bit about this book is that the mystery is contrived. There's a mystery cuz the dead man orchestrated it all and laid out clues. I feel like I would've enjoyed a more organic mystery, like a case (Sherlock Holmes, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, etc). The story is in first person, so you can only rely on what Avery finds out herself and from other people, and I guess I'm just a mystery fiend who wishes to solve everything herself. It's not the book's fault but just a personal nitpick, that I have to wait for Avery to figure something out for the *plot* to progress.
Idk, overall not a terrible book. I don't love it, but it's decent and I'll probably read the 2nd and 3rd books as well. Is it crazy amazing and a page turner? No. But did I stop reading it? Also no. And there are books I've quit right away (These Violent Delights. A Fate of Wraith and Flame <- SO BAD) so this book automatically beats those!
5 notes · View notes
imaluckygirl · 5 days
Text
about me
first of all, hi 👋
my name is celine and i like cats, enhypen (kinda obvs idk why did i just wrote this), pancakes & whipped cream ?;
i hate tomatoes (how can you like an fruit with TOES in the end of the word bro);
usually i use female reader because i’m kinda used to, so be aware of that!!!
i’ll be using all of my poor english to write these so… yeah, take it easy on me 🙏 also, i’m kinda lazy and dumb, so if i commit any gramatical errors my bad
i love books but don’t like studying like wow act surprised yall
rather slapping jake on the face than having an fancall with ni-ki he scares me a little ( obs: he is my ult )
i think i’m already losing my braincells writing this…
enjoy this blog psychotic break ❕
ps: SORRY JAKE MY BABYYYY 😭 and sorry to ni-ki too i guess…
Tumblr media
0 notes