knific · 8 months ago
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is this a safe space
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asaka-lucy-dr-rc · 3 months ago
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Hello Asaka! :))
This first part isn’t really a question, and I apologize for rambling in your inbox unprompted, but I saw you talking about the Nagito Komaeda wiki and I just wanted to complain a little about it. I feel like the English Nagito wiki doesn’t actually do a good job at representing a good or universal interpretation for his character. It makes me cringe and frown a lot, I don’t like how it says “he’s a revealed to be a psychopath,” either it’s misunderstanding what the definition of a psychopath is and feels very harmful!
As for what the topic was actually about, from what I���ve heard about “English fandom versus Japanese fandom,” it seems like Japanese fandom more commonly will say make sure to say things are implied, while the English fandom will take things as fact when they are implied? I think that’s really fascinating, I don’t know Japanese though and can’t confirm if that’s actually the case it’s just what I’ve heard. Is that actually a true difference between the different fandoms or am I misunderstanding? I’d love to know what you think the main differences between Japanese and English fandoms are from your perspective!
This statement is more so rambling again and not as much of a question, but my interpretation is that I think Nagito was lying about lying when he talked about his illnesses, I think since we know his parents actually died he would have no reason to make up the illness. One of his songs written by Megumi Ogata also has themes of how his life is fleeting, I think if his illness is real his story is more compelling overall :D!
Sorry I rambled in my ask many times, but my main points are I’m asking what you think the differences between English and Japanese fandom are and I would take what the English fandom wikipedia page says with a little skepticism since it’s not the most reliable all the time!
Hi, Zen! :D I am a little relieved to see your message, because there are actually some statements in the Danganronpa fandom wiki that seem too assuming(judgemental?) to me. (Not only the page about Nagito!) The wiki has been very useful for checking the lines of each character and the differences between the Japanese and English versions, and there is information that I think is reliable, so I know it is only some of the contributors who make assuming statements, but... to be honest, there are times when I wish they would write a little more fairly and carefully.
As for the differences between English and Japanese fandom, I think your understanding is correct! For example, in terms of wiki writing, the Nagito wiki has the following statement:
In his final free-time event, Nagito claims to have Frontotemporal Dementia, a neurodegenerative disease that affects their personality and social cognition and thus may account for some of his strange behavior. He claims he was lying immediately afterward and it is unknown whether this was a lie or not. Nevertheless, it is clear that he has some type of psychological disorder.
I don't think a JP fandom wiki would have the statements like the followings: - that affects their personality and social cognition and thus may account for some of his strange behavior. - Nevertheless, it is clear that he has some type of psychological disorder. These two sound like very personal interpretations, and if I wrote something like this on a JP wiki, I think it would be deleted. While JP fandom makes it clear that things are just being implied or possible, or that someone is considering such things, I feel that EN fandom statements often end with a conclusion as to what the truth is. I wonder if this is an effect of the English language itself (the way it should be written in English), but the JP wiki usually ends with a vague conclusion when the fact is unclear!
This is a bit off topic, but some JP fandom wikis on Danganronpa characters still take care of spoilers. For example, when searching for a character's name on Google in Japanese, Pixiv's wiki is always the first result, but the Izuru Kamukura wiki does not mention that Izuru and Hajime are the same person (at least physically), even though it has a warning that "This page contains important spoilers related to the core of the story"! I feel that now that Danganronpa 3 has been aired on TV, that fact should be written already, but they still took care of that spoiler, and I was impressed by that when I looked at that wiki last year after a long time. XD By the way, there is another wiki for describing personal thoughts or opinions. It is called the 考察wiki (Roman: kousatsu wiki/ EN: thoughts or discussion wiki): https://w.atwiki.jp/dangan2nazo/
In conclusion, I think JP fans tend to be more cautious about wikis, and when they want to write their thoughts, they create other wikis to make it clear that it is just based on their observation. However, because of this, the JP fandom wiki tends to have less information than the EN fandom wiki. Even I, a Japanese fan who can find official information more easily than other language speakers, often find the English fandom wiki very useful! 😄 lol The EN fandom wiki is great in the sense that a lot of information can be found in one place, but I feel that there is a mix of unreliable information, so it would be nice if that could be improved. :)
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Before I mention Nagito's illness, I would like to tell you that I did not know that the lyrics of his character songs were written by Megumi Ogata until I saw your message. WHY DID I NOT KNOW THAT!? I even listened to some of the Dangan Radio she hosts! 😂 (Well, she didn't want to talk about the fact that she wrote the lyrics, since she even changed her name as a lyricist?)
Anyway, I find it interesting and convincing why you think his illness is real! :D I wasn't sure if I should write it in the answer to the question that started this thread, and I ended up leaving it out, but just in case anyone is curious, I will write how much of his illness is true and how much is unknown:
He made the following statement at the last free time event: Original: "余命は半年から1年… でも、そう診断された直後に希望ヶ峰学園の入学が決まった…" English: "My life expectancy is between half a year to a year... But right after I was diagnosed, I was accepted into Hope's Peak Academy..."
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If his life expectancy is as he said, he should have died about halfway through the Despair Arc of Danganronpa 3. Incidentally, the school trip (in the Neo World Program) of Danganronpa 2 took place more than 3.5 years after Class 77 enrolled Hope's Peak Academy, so he outlived his class by about 2.5 years.
Q. How do you know that the school trip took place 3.5 years after Class 77 enrolled? A. Because in Danganronpa THH's final trial, Junko tells Class 78 that you guys were killing each other with your friends who had been good friends for 2 years, which means that at least THH's killing game took place 3 years after Class 77 enrolled. (Since they enrolled a year before Class 78.) Komaru mentioned in Danganronpa Another Episode that she had been locked up for 1.5 years, and since that lock-up should have started around the same time that Class 77 decided to live only within the Academy, even if the school trip took place shortly after the story of DRAE, it would be 3.5 years after Class 77's enrollment. If you want to know more, here's a detailed chronology compiled by a JP fan that you might find useful (though it's in Japanese...):
Back to the main topic, there is no known reason why he lives longer than his life expectancy, and there are several theories among DR fans! The first two theories that divide the most are these:
Because the illness was a lie to begin with. (Either it was a lie made up by Nagito or the doctor misdiagnosed him.)
The illness was real, but for some reason he lived longer than his life expectancy.
Since the former ends there, we can delve deeper into the latter and come up with the following ideas:
The illness was real, but fortunately cured.
The illness is real and it's not cured, but fortunately it hasn't caused death yet. He is still struggling with an ongoing disease.
The name of the illness and the life expectancy were wrong, but that he has another ilness and it is not cured.
I think each of these would be interesting. In the first case, we could think that the Academy helped him cure his illness, or in the second and third cases, we could think that Hajime and the other Ultimates are taking care of him so that his illness does not progress to the point of death.
But honestly, I don't think it would be easy to live 2.5 years longer than his life expectancy with a fairly serious illness like the one he described, and since Despair Arc doesn't mention that he had surgery or something for treatment, I think it's a more obedient way to look at his statement as a lie. But I also think it would be more dramatic if his illness was real! XD
As for why he lied if I think he lied, I think it is very important to note that he was already prepared for death when he arrived on the island. (This was told in Nagito's ending in the island mode!) I guess he was worried about whether anyone would care even if he died, and he wanted to test that (to see how Hajime, the person he was most open with, would react to it). Some might not like the idea that Nagito lied, but in my opinion it was quite cute that he wanted to see Hajime's reaction like that. :)
Sorry that my answer has been so long! I've been thinking a lot after answering the ask, so I wanted to take this opportunity to talk about it. Thank you for asking! 💖🫶
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tauforged · 27 days ago
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anon, i won’t publish those - i respect your desire to curate your online experience and naturally you can do whatever you like. i think it’s rather unfair that you assign some calculated malicious intent to my actions thus far, as if i wanted any of this to happen the way that it did. to be frank, ive been in a panic trying to backpedal for damage control after i posted a bunch of shit w/o thinking clearly while in a really delicate and volatile mental state, something im not very good at reining in and have been trying to get better about because i recognize that i tend to panic and lash out when im triggered. it became obvious in hindsight that my going on and on about what upset me was starting to negatively affect those around me, so i stopped and deleted everything because i didn’t want to further trigger anyone, not to try and avoid accountability or whatever the fuck you think was happening. i genuinely dont remember most of what i posted because i was in such a state, but if it hadn’t been a sensitive topic i would have left it intact because i stand by my feelings on the matter. you have been reading intent into my actions that simply is not there, and it’s clear that my behavior struck a nerve and reminded you of something or someone else, and i really am sorry for that, truly. i don’t want to be the person you’re describing, and ive never outwardly tried to be.
i do also find it a bit frustrating that you accuse ME of trying to create a ‘surveillance state’ and yet you have been the one to continually come back and checked my blog time and time again to see what i’ve been up to after i have made absolutely no effort to directly engage with you further. i ahve no ill will towards you, im mostly just bummed out that things happened the way that they did, but as someone who really struggles with paranoia and Has been cyberstalked before, i cannot deny that Your behavior has been equally upsetting to Me, to a point where i feel that i can’t even vent about my mental state on my personal blog without having to worry that my words will be taken out of context and misconstrued to be about something or someone they aren’t.
i respect your decisions to want to avoid me, and i honestly feel the same at this point — all i ask is that we genuinely leave this alone and stop coming back to it. i have made no further effort to contact or check up on you once since that first interaction, and yet you keep coming back and backreading thru my blog to react to it as if everything has been directed towards you. it’s not. i quite frankly have a lot more shit going on in my life outside of losing a mutual over a misunderstanding, shit that i have no intention of going into detail about because it is so insanely wildly personal, but to put into perspective, i did not have time to respond to that first ask you sent and explain myself before you blocked me because i had just gotten home from scattering my great aunts fucking ashes. i’m sure this is evidence of me guilt tripping or whatever, since im some sinister manipulative mastermind and not a human being with my own life and bullshit going on at the other end of the screen.
…that was a bit mean, but i’m leaving it in because i’m not really in the mood to hide my frustration with you anymore. i want. to be left. alone. you told me you wanted no further contact with me — i respect that! i get it! i’ve been doing my absolute fucking best to swallow my feelings and move on, i haven’t once even attempted to see what you’ve been up to, i truly don’t care. so why do YOU keep coming back?
i’m not changing your mind with any of this, and i’m okay with that. frankly, i don’t want anything more to do with you. i just want you to consider that your actions are more than capable of hurting people in the future, before someone else touches the same nerve and gets dragged into the same pointless slap fight with you. it’s very clear that you think i’m in the wrong here - again, that’s fine, i don’t blame you - and have been looking for further proof that i’m the villain here to make yourself feel better about reacting harshly. frankly, i don’t want to be responsible for your feelings. if i was the one who kept coming back to you and starting it up again, you would (rightfully) think i was a fucking lunatic. i don’t think you’re TRYING to hurt me, i truly do understand where you’re coming from here, but you have hurt me nonetheless and i need you to stop.
all i ask at this point is that nobody talk about me behind my back or make bizarre claims about my mental health. if that isn’t you, then i truly have no quarrel with you. i’m respecting your desire to be left alone - please respect mine. it’s done. please just stop. this whole thing has taken a tremendous toll on my mental health, and i have more important things to be working on than constantly being retriggered by tumblr drama on top of it all. i am begging you at this point to drop it so that i can move on the way i’ve been so desperately trying to.
i hope you can move on and have a great rest of your day, and i truly honestly do mean that. i have no ill will towards you, though ive been told by friends that i am being far too lenient here. i did not want it to happen the way it did, but it’s done now. please just leave it alone.
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bahrlee · 3 months ago
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feel free to delete, but i happened to see your post abt yuibros and honestly? yeah. it would be one thing if yui had left the group recently and people were bummed out that she was gone, but it's been six years since the left the group and i don't know how people haven't realized in the past six years that it's WEIRD to speculate so hard about her health and if she'll ever come back while ALSO being rude abt momo in the process. i remember around when momo was announced as the new third member, people were going on about how 'disappointed' they were that it wasn't yui. like, even *IF* she does return to the industry, it's not gonna be under bm.
sorry for the paragraph in your ask box! it just blows my mind. i wish people could move on
Yr all good anon!! Ill even ramble EVEN MORE to make you feel better and bc I'm also a serial yapper:
It rlly does blow my mind too, I'm a new fan (literally this year) but the way people talk about Yui is so strange. Like I get that older fans may have an attachment to Yui and all that she brought to Babymetal, and being sad that she ended up leaving, but the speculation about her health and refusal to move on thats been going on this long is just really weird. People treat her and her departure like everything is so mysterious when in reality... she just left and that's OK. I feel like American fans are so used to celebrities personal lives being shoved in our faces that they forget that in other countries, including Japan, people are more private, including their public figures, so not everything is a bing conspiracy.
And I really feel like it can come from a creepy place because the people who hold onto Yui, who's been immortalized as a teenage girl for the time being, hold onto the idea that the "old babymetal" was better (which can be fine for many more harmless reasons), implying they stopped enjoying the band once the members grew up--which no one can control--and thus had to evolve their sound passed what they were doing as literal children. It gets all sorts of weird, considering the age range of the fans tend to be grown men, even back then. And grown men are the main people I see complaining about Yui being gone 🤢 part of me even thinks that that's why they bodyshamed Momo when she joined, because she has the average body of a woman in her early 20s and is slightly taller with a soft jawline and they just can't handle that, the girls being all grown now.
They'll even go as far as to say things like "no yui, no babymetal" which is not only extremely rude to Momo of course, but to Su and Moa as well, because... yui isnt the only member??? Su is the lead singer, the main voice of the group. Moa has said in interviews she can't imagine a life without BM. Imagine how they'd feel hearing someone say that, 6 years into a single members departure!
At least Babymetal is sticking it to them by absolutely killing it this year. People have warmed up to Momo substantially and see her as her own member more than a replacement now and recognize that she earned her spot as a mainstay. Yuis legacy will always be important to the history of Babymetal and we should never forget her, but the future is very bright, and Yuibros are thankfully few and far between nowadays from what I see.
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jalebi-weds-bluetooth · 1 year ago
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IPKKND ft. Jalebi
Warning: In this Jalebi edition I will write a slight canon divergence for me based on existing material 😊 it’s not a diss to the original! It’s just little/big changes (taking reality into consideration) - a what if based on what we HAVE. Hope you enjoy
#2 The Reveal
Original
Khushi, after watching Arnav suddenly be kind to her and watching a news bulletin that talks about a man marrying another so as to his astrological ill fate falls on the new wife instead of the one he intends to love and marry, assumes an atheist Arnav would precisely do the same - hence why he married her.
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To marry his true love Lavanya and have his birth chart misfortune befall Khushi instead. Thus Arnav is planning to kill her and Khushi decides to kill herself before he does it first. And this is all played for “silly” comedy.
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Arnav saves her from killing herself and tells her the truth. Khushi later pretends nothing happened and chirps around until Arnav confronts her again and she gets angry on him and he disbelieves her story.
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Jalebi edition:
Post Holi Arnav and Khushi are very raw and vulnerable. Khushi understands the tension between Shyam and Arnav and is very restless about it. Why would Arnav keep glaring at his beloved jijaji? What wrong could have happened? Oh no, did he know the truth? How could he have known?
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Shyam gets further desperate in getting his hands on the papers, and Khushi notices further the tension between the men. She decides to ask Arnav about it but is interrupted with Arnav fake romancing her as they had Anjali witnessing them. Khushi feels all their intimate moments were a play!
Angry, Khushi demands why much she pretend to be a happy wife? She accuses him of hurting her but he accuses her of hurting him more.
Shocked at that, Khushi fears the worst. One, he must’ve known about Shyam. Two, during Holi she must’ve blurted the truth to Shyam.
With Shyam getting more insulting, Khushi straight up heads to Shyam and demands he tells the truths to Arnav. Shyam tries to use to opportunity to get her to sign some papers by Arnav, but Khushi refuses. Angry, Shyam decides to play dirty.
He mocks Khushi that she must be knowing why Arnav married her. Khushi is stunned and Shyam, honestly, tells everything. That Arnav saw what happened on the terrace, misunderstood it, threatened and blackmailed Shyam, and the point of marriage was to use Khushi against Shyam.
Shyam is happy seeing confusion in Khushi’s face but Khushi calls him a liar and storms off, not believing a single word she said. She wonders if he indeed marry her for this and that she could take him to visit her family but in anger if he reveals the contract marriage they’d be hurt further.
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Exhausted, she asks Arnav why he married her, Arnav tells her and Khushi can’t believe it. She asks him not to lie but he emphasizes he isn’t!
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Khushi is shattered and chooses to kill herself but Arnav saves her, traumatized, and begs Khushi to explain the situation to him instead of…
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Khushi yells at him, the sheer audacity to ask for an explanation when he left no room for questions.
Khushi tells the truth and accuses him of coming to the conclusion he perhaps always wanted to reach.
About her, her character.
(images sourced from the lovely Indi)
Tagging: @butaneandthebeast @shiyaravi @shaonsim @thenainitaldisaster @maansiloves @muttonthings @sapnokiduniyaisalwaysbetter @bengudill @myloveforstuff @laad-governess @laadgovernorandsankadevi @leila1 @lostafpanda @magicfeltmybloop @honeybellexox @featheredclover @goals1024 @bigfatreader @simplycurlz @persephone-with-a-cat @chutkiandchotte @sankititaliya @ijustchangedmyname @noor1025 @bitchy-bi-trash @thecharlesboyle @thedupattaknowswhatsup @exosexosekai @arnav-aur-khushi @whateverworks21 @starzin8s
(This is my permanent tagging list - I’m unable to get a few names cause tumblr doesn’t let them??? So sorry about that and if you want to be added/deleted lemme know)
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archduchessofnowhere · 4 months ago
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Hello! <3 When did Franz Joseph cheat on Sisi? I know he had a mistress, but did she know about her? Or am I mistaken? Sorry if you have already talked about this somewhere in the past. Thank you.
Hi! I already touched upon the subject on this ask, but I'll go a bit more on detail on how Sisi may have felt.
In general, women of Elisabeth's status were expected to simply accept their husband's infidelities. Her own mother Ludovika had resignated to be a betrayed wife, and had even been told by her sister Sophie "that she knew many women who had had happy marriages with their unfaithful husbands" (Winkelhofer, 2022). However, it seems Sisi wasn't as forgiving as her mother.
Now, we don't actually know what exactly went down, but in 1860 Elisabeth suddenly left Vienna for Madeira because of a mysterious coughing that wouldn't go away. Today most biographer agree that this illness was actually psychosomatic, a product of the high levels of stress the young empress had go through during the last years. Also, most biographers at least suspect that the final crisis that made Elisabeth want to leave court at once was discovering that her husband was cheating on her. Just to quote one exemple, take her first serious biographer Egon Corti (emphasis by me):
Elizabeth reproached her husband bitterly for not taking her part in everything; but at times she seemed to him too nervous and erratic, and he felt that such an important matter as the education of the Crown Prince was better left in the hands of his mother, who had trained him himself for the throne so carefully. Thus Francis Joseph was torn between his mother, to whom he owed everything, and his wife, whom he loved beyond words; and, moreover, as was only natural, he was also exposed to innumerable temptations from attractive women. The fact that he was not always insensible to these was felt as a slight by his young wife, conscious of her own dazzling beauty. (Corti, 1936)
Martina Winkelhofer also notes that, in the manuscript of his biography, Corti wrote that "Everything around her [Elisabeth] is unbearable; moreover, news has reached her that Franz Joseph has looked too deeply into another woman's eyes" (2022). He deleted this sentences from the published version.
Yet, it is really hard to link Franz Josef to any particular woman, because he was very discreet in his affairs. If he really cheated on her during 1860, we don't know with whom. The only woman we know for sure he had an affair with was Anna Nahowski, an affair that lasted from the end of the 1870s until 1888, but as far as I know she and Elisabeth never met. Impossible to know if the empress was aware of her existence, but I believe she must have at least suspected that her husband wasn't being faithful.
And then there's Katharina Schratt, which I also talked about in the ask I linked. Katharina was an actress in the Burgtheater and Franz Josef's celebrity crush. He watched every play she was in and soon it was known that he had a liking for the actress, but beyond a dinner in which Alexander III of Russia invited actresses of the Burgtheter to accompany them, they never met each other. It was Elisabeth, who aware of the situation, formally introduced her husband to Katharina. Soon they begun to write each other and FJ went from being a fan to a friend, which made Elisabeth happy, since she felt guilty about not being able to give her husband company.
But we don't know if Elisabeth wanted for Katharina to be a mistress, perhaps she expected it and by that point (late 1880s-1890s) she had come to terms with that, or perhaps she encouraged the relationship because she expected that FJ wouldn't cheat on her with Katharina. To quote once again Franz Josef's Valentine's day rejection letter (emphasis by me):
You say that you will control your feelings, I too shall do it, even though it will not always be easy for me, for I will do nothing wrong, I love my wife and do not intend to misuse her confidence and her friendship for you.
I said in my previous ask that this ties with my idea that FJ was only ok with his affairs if they were only physical, but this line also hints at Elisabeth supporting an emotional relationship, perhaps a romantic friendship of sorts, but not a sexual affair. But again: it's hard to know for sure, perhaps FJ was only using her as an excuse to turn down Katharina.
That's all I can say about this, but if I find more information I'll share it. Thank you for your question.
Sources:
Bourgoing, Jean [ed.] (1966). The Incredible Friendship: The Letters of Emperor Franz Joseph to Frau Katharina Schratt (translation by Evabeth Miller Kienast and Robert Rie)
Corti, Egon Caesar Conte (1936). Elizabeth, empress of Austria (translation by Catherine Alison Phillips)
Winkelhofer, Martina (2022). Sissi. La vera storia. Il cammino della giovane imperatrice (translation by Federica Saccucci)
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fictionfixations · 5 months ago
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Summary of Riddle Rosehearts' Vignettes
(referencing the wiki pages of the vignettes)
(so far. im doing this because i like riddle. also because i have a long term goal of reading every vignette. also because some people are still missing vignettes because of recent birthdays or events. theres the stich event going on right now, and i have his card, but i havent started the event yet 😭)
(..ill also quote parts of the vignette if im not sure how to describe it without it giving off the wrong idea, or unsure how to reword it)
(if there are any typos im sorry)
(...you ever type it down and then accidentally delete it before saving. AGHH)
(if I put the wrong character name anywhere im so sorry)
(theres also an overuse of character names but sometimes you really cant tell whose speaking unless clarified and i cant be bothered to be like 'the [dorm] housewarden' or anything like that so just. names. thats it.
Dorm Uniform - Only the Garden Roses
(I'm sharing the relevant hashtags to you in case you want to use it for something.)
(Part 1) --HEARTSLABYUL DORM - LOUNGE-- Cater's having trouble memorizing spell formulas. There's a practical magic exam next week, and Trey tells him that if he fails it, he could fail the class. Riddle stumbles on the two of them and asks them to explain what happened. Trey informs him, while Cater's jokingly annoyed at him spilling the beans. Riddle questions Cater if he's doing that badly but Cater assures him that it's just that one course, much to Riddle's displeasure regardless. The thing Cater's having trouble over is "autocleaning via implement magic infusion", or "the spell to get brooms and dustcloths to clean a room automatically" as described by Riddle. The housewarden himself hasn't learned it in class, but he's read it in a book.
It's confusing to Cater because it's all about a process where you have to do it exactly right or it fails, which is tripping him up. Trey agrees with him by talking about everything else you'd have to worry about so it wouldn't ruin something instead.
Riddle brings up that Cater's signature spell (copying himself) is complicated (as in probably something difficult to do), and then asks why he's struggling.
Cater clarifies that he's good at multitasking, but when it comes to having to line up everything beforehand, it's tough.
Riddle understands, and then offers to help him study. Trey questions if he's up for it since it's junior-level homework, but Riddle brushes him off by stating how he's the housewarden (and thus should have the ability to help anyone of any year), and he refuses to let anyone drop out or fail a grade.
--LIBRARY-- Riddle and Deuce bump into each other in the library. Deuce is startled at how many grimoires are around Riddle (20, and are pretty big), questioning if he's going to read them all, to which Riddle responds that he will.
He then clarifies that he's compiling a study guide for Cater, and that it's all for note-taking.
Deuce offers to carry the books to the desk, and Riddle thanks him.
(Part Two)
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - HALLWAY--
Riddle's angry at Cater, yelling at him to explain why he can't memorize a simple 300-paged textbook. Cater meanwhile explains that he can't just memorize it in "like one or two days", clarifying as well that each page is filled to the brim with tiny text.
Trey tells Riddle to "use our indoor voice", and Riddle apologizes.
He continues on with how the study guide contains quite literally everything Cater'd need in relation to the test. "Fundamentals, applications, trick questions… The solution to every possible challenge can be found within these 300 pages."
And then says, "Just memorize the entire thing!"
Cater starts off with appreciating that Riddle put a lot of work into it, and he does wish he could remember it all, but that it's difficult for him because he keeps getting sleepy by the time he hits the third page.
Riddle gets ticked off because he hadn't even gotten past the Table of Contents.
Trey tries to calm him down, and then tells Cater that he could try reading it out loud, putting emphasis on the fact that Riddle put a lot of effort into it, and Cater's apologetic, and says he's gonna "hit the books hard, starting today!"
Riddle reminds him of the consequences of failing, and Cater acknowledges it, before snapping a quick picture of the study guide for Magicam. He leaves to do a "cram sesh" in his room.
Riddle disapproves of Cater's constant checking of Magicam, while Trey says that he can understand the desire to distract yourself from doing something you don't want to do.
Trey then goes about helping Riddle understand Cater by asking Riddle what he'd do if he had to eat something he hated.
Riddle responds by saying that he'd change his approach to "make it as edible as I could manage", going through a whole strategy of what he'd do, before he then gets an idea of what to do for Cater.
It ends with Riddle asking Trey to teach him something.
(Part Three)
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - ROSE MAZE--
Cater gives up on taking a break from Magicam and takes a morning stroll, stumbling into Riddle.
Cater tries to make up excuses, while Riddle then mentions that he made a Magicam account the day prior. Cater's surprised, and Riddle questions if he has an issue with it, to which Cater says he doesn't. He continues on to explain that Riddle had stated before that he had no interest in making an account.
Riddle asks for his Magicam handle, to which Cater eagerly shares. Riddle advises him to check it every day, and that he "won't want to miss any of my posts."
--CLASSROOM--
Cater's phone notifies him of a post by Riddle. It's a photo of a broom, with the description, #1stThings1st #WhenCastingASpell #Tap4RoomCornersWithBroom #LevitationSpell #SageAndSalt"
He comments to himself about how cute it is that Riddle's "tagging like a newbie".
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - CATER'S ROOM--
Riddle's made another post, this time about a dustcloth. "#AfterBroom #MagestoneInBucketOfWater #5DropOfPurificationPotion #WaterTemp20OrLess #KeepItThere!"
Cater notes how there's starting to be a pattern.
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - RIDDLE'S ROOM--
Riddle's talking to himself about the next post, that being of a spell formula for brushing carpet. "#WaterMagic #FireplaceAshes #SilverApple", and then posts it, to which Cater immediately likes it.
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - LOUNGE--
A few days later, Riddle asks how Cater did, to which Cater responds that he did really well (85 on written, A on applied). Riddle says, "I'd "like" that if I could!" And then gets embarrassed.
Trey congratulates him, and Cater thanks Riddle. Trey then talks about how he was caught off guard when Riddle went to him to ask how to create a Magicam account, nor had he been expecting Riddle to try to get Cater to memorize the spell formulas via photos and hashtags.
Cater agrees, talking about while the notes were making him tired, the hashtags clicked with him. As thanks, he "got a reservation at a pancake cafe with Magicam-ready entrees---my treat!"
Riddle responds that that was a "one-time assist", and that if he almost fails again, it's off with his head. Cater understands, and that he'll "do it the old-fashioned way from now on."
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Riddle sets down a bunch of books, to Cater's surprise. He explains that Cater's going to read them all for his next test.
Birthday Boy - Happy Birthday
(this is the one with Yuu as the interviewer)
(Part One)
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - BIRTHDAY PARTY VENUE--
Riddle talks about how pleased he is by the attention to detail of everything. He also notes that the "pansy embroidery on the tablecloth was done by Ace and Deuce", speaking about how it's crooked, but that it also makes it charming.
One year, on his birthday, his dormmates told him that he had an urgent summons from Professor Trein. When he opened the door, everyone from the dorm was inside, and "they set off party poppers, put an odd hat on my head, and bellowed "Happy Birthday!" in unison." In that moment, he was very confused and startled, and he recalled that Trey and Cater had laughed when they'd seen the look on his face.
He goes on to say that he "repaid" them for surprising him the way they did. Especially noting how it "takes quite some nerve" to mislead him, but then explains that "it was my first time having such a boisterous time on my birthday."
(Part Two)
In response to a question about what he does with his free time, he says that he tends to the hedgehogs. Riddle clarifies that they have a system whre they take turns to do so, so he doesn't have to visit them everyday, but that he still likes to check up on them, because they're delicate and he wouldn't want to see them neglected. He goes on to say that he keeps "a close eye on their food and the area temperature."
Riddle says that he wants to be a medical mage in the future. He explains that "it's a medical practitioner who specializes in treatments involving magic", and that someone has to be "an exceptional mage AND a licensed doctor" to be allowed to take the exam. He goes on to talk about how they have to be able to treat various different physical compositions, "dispel harmful enchantments from patients", and so on. How it's a very demanding profession that requires a great degree of proficiency and knowledge related.
He says both his parents are medical mages, and that they've raised him since he was young to be one as well. Riddle had taken it as a given and never considered other options, but "as I've spent my days upholding the Queen of Hearts' Rules", he's "taken an interest in the legal profession." He also started "reading books about judicial topics" too.
(Part Three)
Something Riddle's really good at are speed crosswords. When he was a kid, the textbooks his mom got him every month had crossword puzzles at the last page. He hadn't been allowed any other entertainment, so he'd "greatly looked forward to solving crosswords after I was done with my studies." He goes on to talk about how it'd gotten boring just solving them, so then he started timing himself, and had fun trying to go faster with every attempt.
One thing he enjoys about them had to be how accomplished he feels after. That "it's satisfying to fill in empty squares", "but the real reward is the way they let you apply the results of your daily studies." He likes moments where he can "make practical use of the knowledge I've accumulated". He also notes that he's been thinking of "holding a speed crossword tournament" to raise the other students' grades.
He goes on to say that he's been creating his own crossword puzzles since he was young. He'd started making them because he thought "it might be nice to give Trey and Chenya puzzles to solve." He continues on to say that he's "created over 3,000 of them." Then he invites Yuu to take part once the tournament becomes a thing.
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Halloween - Training Regimen
(Part One)
--POCKET DIMENSION - SPARKLING HALL--
Riddle's dancing with a ghost. The ghost talks about how she wasn't great at dancing when she was alive, but that this kind of dancing is enjoyable. Riddle's thankful, and explains that she doesn't need to worry about being perfect for a casual party, and taht "everyone must enjoy themselves on Halloween. That's the rule."
Riddle then changes dance partners with Vil. Vil compliments him on his dancing, and that he hadn't expected him to be a good dancer. Riddle talks about how he's had "an interest in social dancing since I was a child", and that he'd learned from his mother "as part of my rigorous education". He's more used to "dance routines that have set steps", instead of the ones "where you just move your body to the rhythm."
Vil says that he doesn't need to scowl, because he hadn't been insulting him. Riddle says that it'd came off like Vil had been "making light of my athletic abilities." Vil clarifies that "the point I was trying to make was" that he was able to dance without stumbling whatsoever. It was an improvement, compared to "how your legs shook like a newborn fawn's last year."
(Part Two)
[Flashback Start - Soon after he became housewarden]
--INTERIOR HALLWAY--
Riddle's irritated at how long the meeting was, especially with how it was "just people pushing work of on each other". Trey explains that housewardens are busy, but Riddle says that he's busy too. He starts talking about how he's going to change Heartslabyul to actually "embody the Queen of Heart's spirit of strictness", to which Trey tries to get him to "dial it back a little", and that the students might be a little confused on what to do because of the sudden housewarden change, especially so early in the year.
Riddle says that "things are so dire" because the upperclassmen haven't been doing anything about "their indolent behavior." Then he suddenly stops, telling Trey to go back to the dorm without him, because he'd just remembered something he had to do.
Trey leaves, and Riddle takes a breather to take off his heels, finding he has a blister on his foot. He reasons that they're new shoes, and that he's "never worn high heels before". He questions why people wear them.
Vil offers him a bandage, noting that he'd been wobbling, and that "your dorm honors the Queen of Hearts, but your unseemly gait hardly does the same." He then asks why Riddle chose to wear heels.
Clarifying that housewardens are allowed to "make adjustments to their dorm uniform as they see fit", and he also notes that Riddle doesn't seem to enjoy wearing high heels. He also mentions that the housewarden before Riddle wore sneakers like the other students, so it hardly seemed necessary.
Riddle agrees, stating that it also annoys him when people think he wore them to look taller. He goes on to explain that "both the Queen of Hearts and the first Heartslabyul housewarden" wore them. He'd had his uniform "tailored to match that of our first housewarden", believing that he should abide by tradition, which means dressing formally.
Vil brings them back to getting Riddle to accept the bandage, and Riddle agrees. Vil gives him advice on what he can do to "cut down on blisters", to which Riddle thanks him and asks for what class he's in, so he can get him a new one. Vil refuses, but Riddle goes on to state that "it's a rule in my dorm to always return what one borrows."
[Flashback End]
(Part Three)
--POCKET DIMENSION - SPARKLING HALL--
Vil speaks about how Riddle had gone through the effort to find what class he was in and then gave him a new bandage.
Riddle explains how after that, he'd gotten a "manual on proper walking technique", "watched videos on correct posture" and how to "walk more gracefully", and then "added both to my training regimen." He's glad that he can show Vil that he's more used to them now, so he could correct a poor impression. Vil notes that he figured Riddle had "mellowed out considerably since those days", but that "some things never change". Regardless, he says he sees "no hint of that previous newborn fawn."
Riddle goes on to talk about benefits that heels offer, like how walking elegantly has him automatically straighten out, and that the good posture makes him feel more energized. Vil agrees. Riddle also mentions that it's satisfying to watch the "Heartslabyul students instantly straighten up when they hear my footsteps." Then they both talk about their respective Queens, and how the clacking "can announce one's presence, while inspiring both respect and fear."
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Tsumsitter - Riddle's Tsum
(Part One)
--MAIN STREET--
Riddle tries to calm himself down by noting how he already tasked Cater with figuring out what'd happened, and that he needed to get back to Heartslabyul.
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - EXTERIOR--
There's a rustling in the bushes, and he believes that it might've been a hedgehog that escaped, so he tries to get it to come out. When nothing happens, he starts speaking in hedgehog.
Something smacks into him. It's his tsum.
He's confused, thinking it's a plush toy, and that someone threw it at him. Riddle's startled when it moves. He comes to the conclusion that the "safest bet would be to secure it now", so he grabs it.
The tsum causes a fuss, but when Riddle tells it to settle down, it goes still. Riddle notes that what the tsum was looking at was the red roses, before going on to say that they "should have spare hedgehog cages". The tsum then slips away.
Riddle chases after it.
(Part Two)
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - LOUNGE--
Riddle thanks Cater, to which Cater exclaims how cute him and his own and Cater's tsums are together, and he takes a picture. Riddle is unimpressed. He doesn't really get why they've been tasked to watch over them, though.
Cater says it's fine cause they're cute, but Riddle instead goes on about how "looking after a living creature is a serious responsibility", and that they "must remain vigilant" considering they don't really know anything about how to care for them.
Riddle hadn't been able to get it in a cage so he'd kept it in his room. When it was "lights out", however, "it hopped up on my pillow and slept soundly until morning." He notes that it's behaving at the moment, but that he doesn't think it'll last long.
Trey notes that they both look tired, finding himself right in deciding to bring them tea. Deuce tells them to try some of Trey's lemon tart.
Cater takes a picture of his tsum with the tart. Ace also mentions the tea. Riddle takes the tea in an attempt to relax.
Deuce comments on the similarity in appearances, and Riddle then notices it, but doesn't understand how it resembles him at all.
Deuce says they have a similar vibe, that they're both intense. Trey says "it has a certain dignity about it."
Riddle's tsum runs into Ace, making him drop his fork. Deuce offers to give it a slice, but Cater figures that's probably not it considering his tsum hasn't been doing anything, and that they also don't have mouths.
Riddle asks Ace if he was about to take a bite of his tart, to which Ace responds yes. Riddle reminds him of rule 89, that being "Never eat a tart before the queen without the queen's permission." They realize that the tsum knows the rules, and stopped Ace from almost breaking a rule.
Cater says it might've been a coincidence, meanwhile Riddle is smiling at his tsum, praising him. Ace and Trey have a bad feeling, and Cater goes to leave with his tsum.
(Part Two)
--CAFETERIA--
Riddle's tsum runs into two Heartslabyul students for breaking a rule. Riddle compliments him and then they both go back on patrol for any rulebreakers. Ace says that they should finish up, as Riddle's been going a little overboard "now that he's got a partner in rule regulation."
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - ROSE MAZE--
Riddle compliments the tsum for finding another rulebreaker, about to step in when the tsum rushes off. Riddle yells at him to come back, and the tsum knocks into someone.
Riddle says that "his attire may be in violation of the rules", but that it isn't allowed to "tackle students willy-nilly", and that it isn't okay "to make their jobs more difficult in the process." Riddle then questions if the tsum is even listening to him.
Trey, Ace, and Deuce come to check up on him. Riddle's tsum runs away. Riddle orders them to get it.
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - LOUNGE--
They captured the tsum on Main Street, and now both Yuu and Grim are here as well. Trey's off getting the tea and snacks. The tsum suddenly hops off Riddle's shoulder and slams into Grim.
Riddle's confused, before noting rule 23, "One must never bring a cat to a formal affair".
Riddle then tells him that "private tea parties don't qualify", and that Grim's not a cat, but a direbeast. The tsum doesn't agree with Riddle's interpretation, much to his displeasure. Ace grumbles that they're going at it again, and Cater compares them to siblings.
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Birthday Jacket - Happy Birthday
(Part One)
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - LOUNGE--
Azul offers Riddle a gift, that being a lamp with suit cards. Riddle comments on Azul actually using his intel for "something positive", and says that it'll look good in his room. Azul asks him to describe his room, and Riddle says it's a good place for studying, and that he even has "a storage system that allows me to locate any reference books or other matierlas I might need at a glance".
Azul then clarifies that the lamp is a scent diffuser. Riddle says he's "heard that different scents can have different effects", but that he's never tried them before. Azul figured, so he'd gotten "several essential oils that might suit your tastes", having him only pick one however since his "gift budget is limited".
(Note: To my understanding, interviewers get given a budget to get a gift for the birthday person. It's mentioned in Rook's Birthday Jacket vignette because Kalim wanted to "build a museum with famous exhibits just for you" or "book a private performance with a theatrical troupe", but that "those things take time, and I got told none of that would fit in the gift-giving budget".)
The first one reminds Riddle of the feelings he gets when "galloping through the woods and fields on horseback". The next smells like lemon, and the third smells like roses. Riddle then chooses the one with the roses.
(Part Two)
When asked which student he'd choose as a sibling, Riddle contemplates on choosing either Silver and Sebek (as Azul prompts him to think of those closest to him at school outside of his dorm).
Riddle mentions a moment where Silver fell asleep while they were "changing after morning class", and that Sebek and he had to carry him to class. Riddle also notes that Sebek "looks out for others, in his own way".
Riddle goes on to say that he "often ends up looking after others", so instead he figures that "in the interest of not having to sacrifice valuable study time", he wanted someone with good grades and a good conduct, coming to the conclusion of Jade.
Azul is shocked.
Riddle explains that he couldn't think of anyone else, and that he'd choose Jade as his younger brother. Azul is very much confused.
Riddle clarifies that "an older brother would occupy a higher standing than a younger one", so that if Jade did something wrong, he'd be "entitled as his elder brother to correct his actions". Azul can't believe Riddle's so reckless that he'd choose Jade as a younger brother for that reason.
(Part Three)
If Riddle were to transfer to a different dorm, it'd be Diasomnia, talking about how it's "home to a great many students with outstanding magical prowess" and that he would "fit neatly among their ranks". Azul calls him bold.
Riddle goes on to say that "Diasomnia students all use magic more regularly than students from other dorms", so that staying there he could "gain new magical insights".
Azul agrees with him, and then asks if he'd still aim for housewarden. Riddle says that he would, because he "wouldn't get any other opportunities to face off against one of the top five mages in the world", and that Malleus being powerful "makes him worth challenging in my view".
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Labwear - That Was My Intuition
(Part One)
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - RIDDLE'S ROOM--
Trey asks Riddle if hes' done writing the "report for the housewarden meeting". Riddle offers to have Trey take a look since he's finished. Trey's surprised by the big stack of documents, and asks if he wants it to be "delivered to the headmage". Riddle agrees.
Trey tells him not to work too hard, and then leaves.
Riddles goes over the "registration paperwork for the interdorm Spelldrive tournament", noting that Azul's "outlined so many rules that merely READING them is tedious". It starts raining pretty heavy, and he hopes Trey brought an umbrella.
--CAFETERIA--
Trey sneezes.
Riddle comments that he'd told him to "stay warm" and "get yourself to bed early", but Trey had been up late finishing his homework.
Cater asks why Trey's apologizing when he's "the one who caught a cold" so he asks for what happened. Riddle informs him that "Trey got caught in the rain yesterday while he was running an errand on my behalf".
Riddle tells Trey to take his temperature (again) after dinner. Cater tells him that he should go to the nurse's office. Trey keeps insisting he's fine. He keeps sneezing though, so Cater goes to walk Trey back to the dorm.
--LIBRARY--
Riddle's searching for a hot soup recipe, and Lilia asks him what's wrong, and notices the cookbook. He asks him if he cooks, as he'd "thought the vice housewarden was in charge of that".
Riddle starts to explain but Lilia interrupts, coming to the conclusion that Trey has a cold. He continues to clarify that they're in the same classes, so it'd be hard not to notice, and makes a correct guess on what Riddle's looking for.
Lilia says that he's "no stranger to seeing people struggle with things outside of their usual element" and that Silver's been through it many times. Riddle says he isn't struggling, and that he just needs to find a recipe.
Lilia says he probably won't find one though, because he himself had "looked for the same thing in here before", as "mild, cold-busting soups are so simple to make that cookbooks never bother detailing them." Riddle figures he'll come up with something else then, but Lilia offers to teach him how to make one.
(Part Two)
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - KITCHEN--
Riddle comments on how cold it is, but Lilia says "of course it's cooler in here when not in use" as it's "full of heat sources", before bringing them back to the topic of the soup.
For how much water to use, Lilia says to "measure out how much you think he'd eat", and goes on to assume how much soup stock to add as he can't remember the exact ratio.
He goes on to say that there's "a lot of intuition involved" with fine-tuning the flavor, but Riddle doesn't really get it. Lilia instead asks him "what suits YOUR palate?"
Riddle "likes strawberry tarts, but one can't exactly put those in a soup." Lilia challenges him instead with a "can't you?", and that "it seems to me like putting in foods you like is a good way to whet the appetite", and goes on to mention other ingredients.
Riddle's confused that it gets put in soup, but he figures that "it IS important to maximize nutrient absorption".
When asked how much to add, Lilia says, "the more nutrients you put in, the faster he'll recover", so Riddle figures he should add a lot.
Lilia comments that "when I last made this, I added chili pepper too", and that "Silver practically sprang out of his seat after one slurp."
Riddle questioned if "stimulants" would be "counterproductive", and then says he's done with his seasonings. Lilia asks if he's not putting anything else in.
Riddle agrees, saying that "I let thoughts of Trey guide me" and that "that was my intuition." Lilia concedes and says that "all you have to do is boil it, and you're done". Riddle questions where to set the heat, as it's "giving off a rather…pungent odor."
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - TREY'S ROOM--
Trey had been napping since he'd gotten back to the dorm, so he was awake now (it's night). He's "feeling a little bit better" and "taking care of some homework".
When asked what Riddle's got, Riddle replies that he'd made some homemade soup, and that "no pressure if you'd rather not partake" considering "it was my first go at" this kind of thing, "so I'm not sure how well it turned out". He also says he'll "eat it for breakfast tomorrow if it doesn't suit you", but Trey says he doesn't mind, and thanks Riddle.
Trey takes a sip, and Riddle says he doesn't need to have it while he's there. Trey (coughing) instead says that "you went through the trouble of making it", so he wanted to "give you feedback".
He goes on to say that it's "not a bad first effort". Riddle starts to speak but then sneezes. Trey worries over him.
--SCHOOL INFIRMARY--
(the next day)
Jade advises Riddle to take care of himself. Riddle thanks him for "walking me to the nurse's fofice during class" and apologizes.
The nurse isn't there but "there's an open bed" so he takes his temperature and then gets an ice pack.
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He forgot to change, but he can't be bothered to take off his labcoat. He wakes up to Trey greeting him, and that class is over.
Riddle asks what he's doing here, and Trey responds that "I heard you were sleeping in the nurse's office" so he "came to check up on you". He asks how he's feeling, and Riddle says he's feeling better, before being interrupted by a sneeze.
Trey tells him to take it easy, and also thanks him for the soup, and that he'd finished the entire batch. Riddle calls him a fool, before saying that he can walk back to the dorm and go to bed. Trey offers to walk him there but Riddle refuses, before sneezing again.
Ceremonial Robes - What Is Your Verdict?
(Part One)
--MIRROR CHAMBER--
Riddle hopes that some more composed students will "find their way into Heartslabyul" as many of the freshmen are lacking decorum. When it goes to Ace, Riddle says he pities "his future housewarden". Riddle quickly orders him to return to his seat, as he "has no tolerance for rulebreakers", complaining to himself that he'd "have to drill basic manners into him before I even get started on the Queen's laws."
Sebek orders the others to "comport yourselves with dignity and cease your whispering", causing Riddle to believe him to be sensible.
Sebek gets put in Diasomnia, and then immediately loses his composure with "AWWW YEAH, BABY! WOOHOO! I'm in the same dorm as Malleus!" to the shock of Riddle, before he quickly gains his composure. Riddle questions if he just imagined that.
--SPORTS FIELD--
Riddle asks Silver if he's been "neglecting your preparation", but Silver says he has "it under control", before noting the lack of freshmen coming their way.
Riddle explains that "they're likely starting with more popular clubs".
Sebek interrupts them, asking "where I can observe the Equestrian Club".
(Part Two)
Riddle recalls his name, and Sebek accuses him of being a spy, "sent to uncover Diasomnia's deepest secrets".
Riddle responds with "I mistakenly believed you to be a man of diligence and decorum" and that "like all other Diasomnia students, your well-mannered facade bellies your supercilious nature."
Silver tries to explain that Sebek's a special case, but Riddle says he remembers Silver "being rather aloof" when they first met. Silver figures he wasn't that bad, and gives Sebek advice to "correct your attitude at once" and that "it is because of pople like you that Diasomnia's reputation suffers".
Sebek however, refuses to be reprimanded by him, and claims he hasn't done anything wrong.
Riddle interrupts them to start the tour. "I was a bit dismayed by the audacity Sebek displayed as a mere freshman", however "I understand that every dorm has its own customs and ways of thinking. He goes on to say that that's also true for the Equestrian Club, and that if Sebek intends to join them, that he'll need to "adhere to our ideology."
Sebek agrees, and Riddle starts going over the fundamentals. How it can be both dangerous to them and the horses, so they require a delicate touch. "In this club, your upperclassmen's word is law, and for your safety, you are obliged to obey."
Sebek says he'll "obey any orders, within reason," and Riddle notes that he's taking riding seriously.
Sebek talks about how it's an important skill "if I am to serve under Malleus" but that he wishes "to see the other club members' skills before I decide whether or not to join."
Riddle calls it "a fair assessment", and invites him to judge himself if "our club meets your standards". He apologies to Silver and asks if he could ride first, to which Silver agrees.
Riddles goes riding on Vorpal.
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Sebek's impressed, and Silver speaks about how Riddle's "trained relentlessly to achieve perfect riding technique" and that "he is even more skilled than I am".
Riddle then stops Vorpal there and asks Sebek for his verdict.
Immediately, Sebek's "ready to submit my entry applications". Riddle's surprised, and Silver notes that "normally, freshmen only submit an application after observing all of their prospective clubs."
Sebek instead figured that "what if I were to submit it late, only to find that the club is already at capacity?"
Riddle agrees "if you've made up your mind", and welcomes him to the Equestrian Club.
Apprentice Chef - Riddle Making Cabbage Rolls
(Part One)
--CAFETERIA - KITCHEN--
Riddle's questioning what size leaf to use as the recipe doesn't sepcify. The ghost chef tells him that "you can always make adjustments when you're doing the rolling".
Riddle then goes on to ask "what volume of water do I need for the parboiling," and the chef responds that he doesn't need a precise measurement, "as long as there's enough water to immerse the cabbage leaves fully."
Riddles goes to measure with a ruler for mincing but the chef stops him, saying that it isn't necessary. The chef then asks why he signed up for the Culinary Crucible. Riddle says that "a housewarden should be the best at both academics AND cooking."
He also says that "it makes sense to get a head start on living independently."
The chef then asks Silver, who responds that Riddle had invited him, hoping that it could help him with his "dozing habit". It made sense to him, and he was "always ready for an opportunity to learn how to make better food."
The ghost comments on how both of them "seem to know your way around the kitchen well enough" and that "you've had no issues handling any of our cooking implements".
Silver clarifies that he always falls "back on the same crutch-- salt, pepper, and sauté" and that he'd like to do more. He'd also like to "cook more enjoyable meals for the father who raised me".
Riddle starts sniffing.
The chef asks Riddle if Silver's words had moved him to tears, but Riddle explained that while "it WAS touching", that wasn't why he was crying. It was the onions. Silver asks if he's okay.
Riddle asks "how do I make it stop?!" Silver tries to stop him from rubbing his eyes, but… "Rubbing my eyes just makes it worse! It stiiings!"
The ghost chef praises him as his "fillings came out with a very nice texture".
Riddle wants to do more to make them equal, but the chef reassures him that "once they're all swaddled in leafy goodness, you won't be able to tell 'em apart", and that "spending TOO long cooking can impact the freshness of your ingredients" to which Riddle concedes. He attempts to pack it tightly but "I pulled too hard and ripped the leaves!" The chef tells him that "that means it's time for you to try again using one of the spare cabbage leaves", and Riddle says "I'll roll it perfectly next time, just you wait!"
(Part Two)
Riddle and the chef start having a chat. Riddle mentions that "seeing Silver cooking up close was a clear illustration of how much more i Have yet to learn" and that he "memorized the recipe front to back" but "still got stumped at several points when it was time to go hands-on". The chef agrees with him about how recipes can be "unclear about measurements and the exact order of operations".
Silver notes that "even an ace academic like you still needs lots of training when it comes to mastering the ins and outs of cooking", and Riddle agrees. He states that "there are plenty of things in world beyond the limited aggregate of my experience" and that it was a "good reminder to stay humble."
--CAFETERIA--
Riddle brings out his dish to the taste-testing table, to be greeted with Malleus.
Malleus notes that they vary in size and that "these two are so lopsided next to each other, it's like a parent and their tottering child."
He explains that as it was a "meal prepared by Riddle" he was "prepared to be blown away by a masterful display of technique" but that "the flavor and plating are both entirely pedestrian".
Riddle thanks him for his honest feedback, and the ghost chef reassures him by saying that he'd done well for his first time.
Riddle thanks the chef, and continues on to state that "I'm not one to shrink from a challenge" and that "one day" he'll "reign supreme as the finest cook on campus".
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Suitor Suit - Can't Make a Fool of Myself
(Part One)
--INTERIOR HALLWAY--
Ghost guards are trying to catch him, but he states that "that's my 362nd victory" and that "as long as I'm here, none shall pass". One of them calls him "tiny" but "as strong as a monster", to which Riddle glares.
50 more ghosts arrive, to Riddle's irritation, "if I don't stop them they'll pose a threat to Ace and the others. But even I have my limits…" A rose petal falls off his jacket and he recalls an encounter.
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - ROSE MAZE--
Riddle says that the roses should've been finished pruning before the next day, but that "because of all this Ghost Bride nonsense, I'm nowhere near done!"
Malleus comes across him, and Riddle greets him. Malleus wanted to thank him, as "you're going to rescue Shroud and the other captives, yes?" And that "my retainers Lilia and Sebek are part of that group." Riddle shrugs it off as "I'm not rescuing Lilia and Sebek for your benefit", as the "Heartslabyul Housewarden is expected to show initiative during campus emergencies".
Malleus comments on his maturity.
Riddle asks if he's familiar with "the concept of noblesse oblige", as it's a "prominent school of thought that has a long history in the Realm of the Roses". "Those with power and status hve a duty to aid the weak, proportional to their station".
Malleus wonders if he judges him for his conduct being "unbefitting a leader". Riddle says that "your position as prince of your land must come before your position as housewarden", and that "though you may wish to fly to your retainers' rescue, you are constrained by circumstance."
And that in contrast, "leader or no, I come from common stock".
(Part Two)
Malleus states that he was worried over nothing.
He goes on to say that "as you presumed" he "cannot enter into an egagement lightly, even on false pretense", and so that was why "Lilia and Sebek went on my behalf", but that "it troubles me that there is nothing I can do to free them."
Riddle says that "you must think me rather incompetent." Instead though, Malleus says "I've witnessed firsthand how you care for your vassals and your determination as a leader". That "I assume you've received no royal tutelage, yet you have the bearing of a king all the same."
Malleus continues on by saying "you carry yourself with dignity and grace but you lack a certain…majesty" and that if he's "to impress the princess" that he should "wear something indicative of your stature. Riddle reminds him that he's not an aristocrat.
Malleus then asks if he'd share one of the pruned roses with him. Riddle agrees but asks what he's going to do with it. Malleus gives it to him, saying "when adorned upon you, this simple rose carries more weight than any medal."
He tells him that "if you are king of this rose garden, you must carry yourself with a rose's strength and nobility."
Riddle finally concedes as "with a genuine prince telling me this, now I really can't make a fool of myself". He goes on to say "I swear upon this rose, I shall fulfil my duty and rescue all the captured students."
--INTERIOR HALLWAY--
Riddle refuses to give up, recalling the promise.
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The ghost states how he's "not even flinching" and Riddle responds with "of course not! After all, I am…"
--DIASOMNIA DORM - LOUNGE --
Silver asks Malleus if they "shouldn't try to rescue Father and Sebek", and Malleus responds that "it'll be fine", as Riddle has set off.
Silver comments on how he's "surprised at how much faith you have in him." Malleus instead says that "I am merely acknowledging the truth. After all, he is…"
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"THE KING OF HEARTSLABYUL!"
Tropical Wear - If That's the Rule... (to be added lol. to be honest i havent even started the event yet)
School Uniform - Ignorance Is No Inconvenience
--INTERIOR HALLWAY--
Riddle tells a group to step aside, as they're blocking the hallway. Azul asks if Riddle's not going to "spare the exam results a glance", while Riddle asks "what would be the points, when the results are always the same?"
Azul agrees, however "I thought you may have slipped for once, but I see you aren't one to be underestimated." Riddle admits to struggling with a question.
He mentions that "three days before the exam, a paper was published, citing new discoveries to propose a wholesale reevaluation of the kingdom's history."
Azul then says that "in fact, I heard the faculty held a meeting about it. As one student managed to answer it perfectly, they decided to deduct points from the rest of us instead."
Riddle apologies, but Azul shrugs it off as "we all had access to that new paper, you're simply the only one who took notice of it" and that "I'll have to keep a closer eye on any new research that crops up" to which Riddle says he'll "do the same". He then leaves.
--HEARTSLABYUL DORM - LOUNGE--
Cater offers some treats from Trey to Ace, but needing to take a few pictures first. Ace comments on the phone case as it's "crazy popular". Cater nods, saying that "mine's legit, too".
Ace then says that he's "been looking for one too" but with a different design, describing it as "that one with the weird creature that's got a bushy head, and feet comin' out of its eyes".
Cater recognizes what he's referring to, but says "this diamond pattern really speaks to me".
Riddle interrupts by saying that they should probably sit if "you insist on keeping this up", startling Ace who asks when he got back. Riddle responds that he'd returned a moment ago, and that, "putting the queen's laws aside, prattling on in front of the entrance is simply bad manners."
Cater apologizes, meanwhile Ace asks if he's seen Cater's phone, and if it's awesome. Riddle asks if he bought a new phone, but Ace clarifies about the case, and how it's the "hottest thing on Magicam right now". Riddle asks "what about it is so unique", to Ace's surprise that he didn't know.
Ace asks how he can "even manage to hold a conversation with anyone" while Riddle assures him that he's "never been inconvenienced for not knowing what's in vogue before." Cater asks "what if Magicam winds up on an exam, though?"
And talks about his perfect score streak, to which Ace is in disbelief, before realizing that "with all the studying you do, it's no wonder you don't know what's going on in the real world".
But that "Ace has got your back! See this design is--" To immediately be interrupted by Riddle stating that he didn't "recall asking for your help", and telling them to "either sit down or return to your rooms to study". He later states though that "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to look into it a little."
PE Uniform - Don't Say a Word
--SPORTS FIELD--
Riddle's documenting his reuslts, but they're all below average. Kalim greets him out of nowhere, startling him. He asks if they can do the sprint together, to which Riddle asks if he doesn't "have a partner already".
Kalim says that Jamil's "on some other exercise" but that "we're supposed to be in apirs, so why not run with me?" Riddle agrees, but on the condition that "you aren't to say a word after we're finished". Kalim agrees, albeit confused. Vargas tells the "next set of runners, take your positions". Then they go off.
Jamil comes over, asking if Kalim's already done. Kalim nods, stating "you looked like you'd be a while, so I just went ahead and did it." Jamil asks what time he got. Kalim responds with "I can't remember" but that "I'll bet it's faster than yours'll be!" Riddle chimes in with "you were 6.81 seconds" and that "perhaps you should consider writing it down next time".
Kalim thanks him as hew was "about to do it over again for a new time, too", and then tells Jamil to "hurry up and do your sprint". Jamil thanks Riddle for babysitting him.
Riddle shrugs it off as "you deserve a break once in a while." Kalim then says "it's kinda nice to see even you can't come first in everything, Riddle" and that "Between you and Azul, I thought I was the only sophomore housewarden who wasn't amazing at just about everything, but"
Jamil then covers his mouth and apologies to Riddle. Vargas then tells them to move onto personal exercises. Kalim asks about dancing together, while Jamil says that "you're the only one who wants to do that" and asks instead "what do you think of practicing our flyting instead? We have the perfect teacher right here."
Jamil then asks "you don't mind, do you?" Since "Class E has their flight test soon". Riddle refuses to teach them how to fly but that instead "you're free to watch if you wish".
He then flies off. Both Kalim and Jamil admire his flying. Kalim calls him amazing, but Riddle instead says that "a true mage simply excels in magic over fitness."
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vampstel · 6 months ago
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Hi! Welcome to my blog ໒꒰ ˃ ᵕ ˂ ꒱১ ₊˚⊹ ☆
Warning!! This pinned post is extremely lengthy but important to read if you’re specific about DNI and BYF lists. I heavily suggest reading everything before you freely interact with this page. Thank you in advance!
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♡ About Me ♡
My name’s Nikolai and I have a variety of nicknames you can call me. The most common ones being:
Nick
Niko
V
Kai
I go by He/They pronouns and you can use one set to refer to me or use both interchangeably. I don’t mind either way! I prefer masculine and androgynous terms and am strictly against most feminine labels and sexual/romantic descriptors.
If you’d like the specifics, I have a pronouns page that lists all the words I’m comfy/uncomfy with. I also have a linkt.ree with all my social media accounts.
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I am a Filipino-British artist, writer, and content creator that (currently) lives in the UK! I am chronically ill and have AuDHD as well as general anxiety, making it hard for me to post or do things consistently.
I’m constelic, meaning I (unintentionally) hoard identities and heavily relate with/identify with certain things such as bunnies, dolls, plushies, and vampires!! ໒꒰ྀི˶ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ˶ ꒱ྀི১ ˖⁺‧₊˚
These are all the flags I use to represent my identity:
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♡ Loves ♡
My OCs, dolls, plushies, Bendy and the Ink Machine, indie horror in general, Cookie Run, anime, HermitCraft, and more ໒꒰ྀི ˃ ᵕ ˂ ꒱ྀི১
If you ever wanna ask me about my interests or talk to me about them, feel free to do so in my inbox! I love talking about things I’m passionate about and I also enjoy hearing people talk about their interests
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♡ Hates ♡
Small talk, flashing lights, loud and sudden noises, being interrupted, and tons of food and fabric textures ໒꒰ྀི˃ ⌑ ˂ഃ ꒱ྀི১
(Also most of the people listed below in my DNI criteria but shhhh we don’t talk about that. Kinda…)
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♡ Before You Follow ♡
I post very sporadically and I don’t have an upload schedule; sometimes I just disappear for months or spam my socials
There are times where I don’t respond to Tumblr asks or comments. I’m super sorry about that!
I cuss a lot and sometimes make sexual or unsavory jokes. I suggest only 16+ folks follow me
I use queer labels that can be considered problematic(?) by some. Such as bara, bear, twink, femboy, etc. If that makes you uncomfortable, don’t interact with me and don’t make a fuss about it because I won’t stop using them
My art has heavy queer themes and I often draw gender-nonconforming people that may cause dysphoria for some
I sometimes draw lingerie or artistic nudity that some people may find suggestive. I also draw revealing outfits that can be suggestive as well. Thus, I once again suggest only 16+ folks follow me (or people who aren’t sensitive to such media in general, since I know adults can be uncomfy as well)
There are times where I vent and rant, but I don’t overshare too much and I usually delete these posts after I’m fine
I sometimes use unicode symbols and kaomojis that are oftentimes incompatible with screen readers. I’m super sorry about that!
If you complain about any of the above, you’ll get an instant block from me. Curate your experience online and mute/block people you dislike. Don’t come into peoples spaces whining for them to change especially here on Tumblr. Thank you!
That being said: I will be tagging anything suggestive with #cw: suggestive just to make things easier!!
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♡ Do Not Follow/Interact If ♡
You’re a bigot (racist, queerphobic, ableist, etc. this one should be obvious)
You’re a truscum/transmed and don’t support MOGAI identities
You endorse cringe culture, cancel culture, and ‘art lore’ (aka harassing artists for doing literally nothing but draw how they want to draw)
You fakeclaim other people and are against self-diagnosis
You think alterhuman, otherkin, or otherhearted identities aren’t valid or think they’re ‘weird’
You’re very discourse heavy and purposely pick fights with the intention to tear people down rather than help them improve
You support the Dream Team (I heavily dislike them and I don’t want to associate with their fans)
You support Astro Renaissance or are heavily tied to the Royale High community (both fandoms make me uncomfortable due to the treatment I’ve received from them in the past)
You dislike my content, my interests, or anything that has to do with me (AKA: do yourself a favor and block me if you detest me)
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P.S: LGBT related discourse makes me uncomfortable, especially the exclusionary kind. Please do not rope me into those discussions or I’ll be forced to block you. I support any and all identities so long as they’re in good faith. This is a safe space and I won’t judge if your identity is complicated.
If you make man hating comments or are proud of being a man hater (whether seriously or not), I will most likely avoid you and block you. Those jokes make me extremely uncomfortable as a trans guy and I’ve had terrible experiences with people who’ve made such jokes.
I do not have any strong opinions on proship discourse. I am neither an ‘anti’ or a ‘proshipper’ but I do find lots (but not all) dead dove content to be extremely uncomfortable so I may block those who create such things. Please do not rope me into this discussion either or I’ll block you. Don’t try and label me as some sort of freak for this because I’m not. If you harass anyone over this discussion, I’ll also block you no matter what side you’re on.
My specific fandom DNI criterias can’t be changed. If you support anything I’m uncomfortable with, I have to block you for my own sake. I mean no harm and don’t want to cause any offense so please take this lightheartedly. However, Royale High specifically can be flexible and I do find a few of their players alright so long as they aren’t overly negative or bring up drama about the game to me.
Overall, just be chill. Respect my boundaries and I’ll respect yours ૮꒰ྀི⊃´ ꒳ `⊂ྀི꒱ა
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♡ Blog Navigation ♡
#꒰ v’s art ꒱ → features all my finished art
#꒰ v’s wips ꒱ → features works in progress as well as unfinished sketches and doodles
#꒰ v’s rambling ꒱ → general talk tag where I discuss anything
#꒰ v’s answered asks ꒱ → where all my answered asks are
I have other minor tags indicating what topics and characters I’m talking about. There’s a lot of them though so it’s hard to list them down. I also have an exclusive tag for fanart!! You can check that and my main tags out below
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the-bloody-sadist · 1 year ago
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Hello, sorry if this ask is awkward. I've come upon many of your works and they've always pulled me in. Thinking it over, I realize that I bleed my perfectionist issues into my writing and make all my characters OP or stereotypical or generally boring. How can I stop being scared of writing "human" characters? Is there a way to do that?
You don't have to answer this. You can delete this ask if I'm being weird here. Thank you for taking your time to read this, though.
From Juni.
This is not awkward in the least!!! I'm very happy to hear the questions, especially on writing! That's something I know a lot about, even if I don't believe myself capable of applying all of my knowledge in the best ways possible for some of my own works. Still, character psychology is my favorite topic.
What I would say is the most important thing (and I'm a perfectionist as well) is to realize that the more flaws a character has, the more relatable they are. The less flaws they have, the more unrealistic they are - thus unlikable or un-relatable.
To address the certain types you mentioned specifically, I'll try and use examples. For instance, if you have an OP character, the best way to make them interesting is to give them an emotional weakness. If it's Saitama from Once Punch Man, who can literally defeat any threat in a single punch, give him a friend, and then make that friend the threat, that friend the villain, whether the friend is a traitor or an unwilling participant to another villain's plans. What's he gonna do, then? Not be OP and kill him in one punch.
For OP characters, the trick is generally to make the conflict more complicated and emotional. Since I'm character-focused as a writer, the way I might do an OP character is to give him a fragile personality type. Extreme contrast to his OP-ness is interesting, it adds a direct opposite.
Opposites are the best trick to making any character complex.
If you have issues with stereotypical characters, you can use this same method. Did you make a jock character? The kind that stereotypically bullies the weak kids, has multiple girlfriends, is a player, etc? Make him a crybaby. Make him sensitive. Make him a bully of kids that remind him of himself. Maybe he can't keep girls because they expect him to be tough and cool, but then he has a breakdown over something small and they laugh at him. Cheerleader stereotype? Usually vain, obsessed with being a ringleader? Give her self-hatred so extreme that she can't even look at herself if she's not wearing layers of makeup. She hates being popular, but does it out of necessity for her own survival in the school, or else she'd be bullied, and she can't deal with that.
Typically the problem with stereotypes is that we've seen them so much (thus the label) that we no longer care about them when we see them. If you give us something that we can empathize with, relate to, or feel bad for them over, you've made progress!
Being worried about writing 'human' characters is usually a reflection of your own fear of your own flaws. You have to allow a certain amount of vulnerability with yourself when you write, including trying to let characters adopt traits from you. Almost every one of my own characters has something (many things) related to me that they deal with, whether habits or trauma types or fears or mental illnesses. That's why I'm able to write them that way! So honestly, if you're a perfectionist, try writing a character who's also perfectionist. If they want to be perfect so badly that they show none of their flaws, give them an arc where it bottles up so much that it eventually bursts out somehow.
In the end, there are quite a few ways to spice up a character. For me, I most often go to trauma. It's my passion, obviously, but it holds a lot of weight. When a character has past trauma, it shapes everything that they are in the present.
I have books I use that indicate common traits of different traumas or backstory events if I struggle with some (The Emotional Wound Thesaurus by Becca Puglisi and Angela Ackerman is the best, and I recommend all of their other thesauruses as well). This helps me if I get stuck, though I've used it so much that it's old hat by now, and my own experiences most often inform my characters'.
If you want deeper thoughts on the matter, feel free to ask me any other questions you have, or take a look at the Positive and Negative Traits Thesauruses from those authors! They have sections in the beginning of all of their books that give the most excellent breakdowns of how to create a perfectly flawed character and how to make the audience care.
Thank you so much for the ask - much love to you!! <3
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csmr-on-air · 4 months ago
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zaza's corner
heyahihello! zaza on the mic rn blargh
I think a more detailed context post is in order to further elaborate on CSMR and the silly antics within it, but for now, here i am with my lab-grown creations 😈😈😈
Milo Shikujuro
Aurelius "Ace" Ivo
(i have a third one but shes currently in workshop as of rn 😥😳sorry ill have her out asap.. once i finish her)
so i have three (two 'finished' ones) characters that are apart of the CSMR!!
a basic summary of them
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so here's Milo! he's in a little sketch i did of him in a manga-esque style doodle!
he wears this collared shirt with a zipper on the neck, but the zipper broke in the washing machine the first time he wore it and he's too lazy to get a new one or get it fixed lol.. so whats supposed to be covering part of his face just hangs open all of the time (he won't admit he thinks it looks cool)
Milo is your average 29 year old guy. he's super chill outside of work. you'll probably find him spending his break playing uno and eating chips without a care in the world! he's kind of an extrovert, and he's the kind of person who has a "guy i know" for everything. he has lots of connections with people in and out of the CSMR, so yeah hes pretty sociable
however, he's barely recognizable once he's on-duty or on field missions for the CSMR! he has a hard time focusing on something unless he's putting 100% into it, thus making him a pretty irritable and strict person whenever he's on-duty.
 just like any other adult, he's usually stressed out behind the calm exterior he puts on when relaxing. Milo is really just the average adult with weird supernatural abilities haha
fun facts/extra bits:
favorite color is purple
favorite food is coffee cake
favorite cereal is froot loops
bday on July 12
works part-time at a music store
plays guitar!
has found himself re-downloading and deleting tinder every now and then
enjoys long walks on the beach
has two cats named Mop and Swiffer
heavyweight
has flings every now and then 😳😥(yikes)
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twelvedaysinaugust · 1 year ago
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Hi, Mod !
Mediocre storytime alert:
Before using tumblr, I used stan twitter a lot and used to have a larrie mutual that was very funny and, despite being irritated by some things she did, such as exaggerating in a strange way a part of louis' personality (like all blouies) and having harry as a favorite (which is no problem at all to have a favorite, this was just not my case), I always came back on her page because she always seemed to be very smart.
Last night I spent two hours scrolling through her page, because I was intrigued to see that she had stopped following Harry’s career and also had deleted her fic (and as I had already said, Harry seemed to be her favorite and it had only been a short time since she had gone to his show). And I found out that she had dropped Harry and created a narrative in her head that they broke up, which is also fine with me because, in fact, there is no way of knowing.
But for me it's very little about her opinions and more about the way she acts about it. For example, she always followed all of Louis' sisters and commented on everything they did/do (as if she knew them, their personalities) as a way to force a relationship between her and louis, to look intimate and thus seem that she is superior because she 'knows everything', and began to make fun of those who continued to believe that they were in a relationship. What in my head is very crazy that you base your treatment with people on opinions you have about the nuances of the life of a third person we don't know. We can have an idea about the values of our idols, we can admire his art and be happy with his victories, but the truth is that we only see him (for a long period of time) in situations in which he feels loved and important (shows, subscriptions, signings etc) and therefore, we always see the best part of him in those events. But we don't know his dynamics with others on normal days, we don't know his flaws, we don't know what happened and much less in details, so to stop following Harry for being frustrated with the expectations she created about how he should act is stupid. We don't know Louis' career goals to assume that his team is incompetent and that everyone wants to sabotage Louis (including the fans themselves by making jokes saying that they wanted less demand to get a ticket) as she does and as the radlouies do. We don't know details of Harry/Louis' relationships with the others members of the band to speak ill of the others members of the band. And it makes me sick to know that this kind of relationship can exist between an artist and a fan, and it is very sad to see this kind of thing, because it spoils a little to be in the fandom for me. Sorry if there were too many subjects in one, I was just very upset yesterday and wanted to share it with someone and I don't have many friends in the fandom with whom I can talk about it.
Hi, nonnie.
I’m sorry you’re feeling alone in the fandom (or were when you sent this ask). It’s really hard to lose fandom friends or realize that their values and opinions don’t align with yours.
I won’t lie - the ecosystem of fandom twitter (in particular Larrie twitter) is completely foreign to me. But I do think it’s always possible to find people you like and respect regardless of which side of the fandom you find yourself leaning towards. Sometimes those circles can just be smaller than others - and that’s okay!
As you said, fans only see a very tiny portion of Harry and Louis’ lives, and to draw sweeping and definite conclusions probably isn’t wise. I do think fans have every right to take a step back from Harry, Louis, or any other artist if the artist is no longer resonating with them. (In fact, I’d encourage fans to do that, lol.) But at that point, I think it’s best to let bygones be bygones and I also tend to unfollow when I see post after post chastising Harry, Louis, Larries, Antis, etc. after a fan changes their opinion on any of those topics.
Hope you’re doing well and finding a way to navigate fandom that feels fun and enjoyable. 🤍
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floserd-theflowercows · 1 year ago
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Floserd Traits Info WOOOO-
Okay so I found out I have all my notes still on a computer (that I don't often use so I didn't realize) So I can post the true traits & other info!!
Ill mark the other one as old to mark the difference, but I won't delete it, as I may fuse details from that w/ the official one!!
So as I stated before, there are 3 types of traits:
Casual/Common Traits
Rare/Uncommon Traits
Impossible Traits
Casual Traits
Casual Traits (which is what my notes originally called them, but they can also be called Common Traits) are traits that either are always there (casual), or traits that aren't always there, but are there most of the time (common)
Some examples of casual traits are:
Hooves
Flower/Herb tails
Ears (which change in length from short-long)
Paw Beans (cus why the heck not)
Snout shape (didn't state this anywhere before, but yeah their snout always has that cow snout shape) (their snout doesn't always look like how I draw em of course, it's just always a cow snout, & depends on how you draw cow snouts)
Fur
And some example of common traits are:
Udders
Horns
Fur spots (either no spots, or any form of spot patterns real cows have)
Fur fluff (smooth fur, slightly fluffy, very fluffy)
Uncommon/Rare Traits
Now, these traits (which funnily enough, I never called them uncommon traits ever until I first typed them out here, but now they're also called uncommon), the uncommon/rare traits, these are traits that aren't always there, but can still be there, so they aren't impossible.
Some example of these are:
Back leaves (look like wings, but can't fly with them. They still move tho, just the floserds with these cannot fly with em)
2-3 tails (which must be the same herb/flower at the end)
Weed tails
Tail Leaves
Very tall height (this is only for the Water Floserds, as their height/length depend on where they are. Thus, ocean Water Floserds can be pretty big. However, they're not as big as a certain Floserd that has yet to be revealed, but will be called for now "The One who Started it All", or just "The One" for short. Ocean Water Floserds cannot & will never be as tall or taller than "The One", but their tall genes do come from "The One". It's like... a distant gene, or whatever it's called.) (as I said in my notes: Imagine Black Pearl Cookie from Cookie Run Kingdom or the Whaletaur from Centaur World)
Impossible Traits
Finally, there's the impossible traits, which are traits that Floserds just... cannot have
These consist of:
Mating parts/organs(?) (I don't know how to explain this really. They have parts to pee & poop, but not parts to mate with. So no Floserds mating like that, but they can go to the bathroom. Idk this is just really hard to explain...)
4-9+ tails (the maximum amount of tails is 3 due to mutation, but you cannot go over that sadly)
2-3 tails that don't match (if the Floserd has a mutation of multiple tails, it must still be the same flower/herb/weed)
Functioning wings (again, they can't fly, it's just extra body part mutation. Like... imagine a human with a tail. They can't move it, but it had some use in the past. For the Floserd Wings, their old function was basically flower stem leaves. That's the function they had. They were never intended to be wings, just to absorb water through, except now they drink water so the leaves aren't used much)
Ears past the shoulder length (sorry, the ears cannot be too long. Sure it can be close, but no excessive passing, like ears dragging on the floor. No.)
Horns that are too big (they can't be excessively big, but they can be kinda big)
Height as tall as/taller than "The One who Started it All" (as stated, only Water Floserds can get close, but again, only close to the height of "The One")
Hopefully these specifications aren't too much, if so I'm sorry, but yeah these are the trait rules!!
(Also to include the images I had last time as examples:)
(and also another image I didn't have last time:)
Big cow horns that are the maximum horn length for Floserds:
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Big cow horns that are an example of "too big" for Floserds:
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Cow mark examples that Floserds can have:
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(or just any cow markings you see that are real natural cow marks)
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the-light-is-running-low · 5 years ago
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This is important! (Concerning Seam’s pronouns on this blog)
( For the past few days I’ve kind of had a fall in motivation. Been seeing a lot of negativity. But I’m feeling more motivated today so I’ll try to answer a bunch and get the ball rolling!
Just a reminder! Please do not approach me about ‘Seam not using pronouns’. I’ve had a few people send in malicious asks about that and I want to remind you that the game doesn’t give us pronouns to use so I am just working with what I’ve got.
Please keep in mind that I will always use appropriate pronouns when speaking of other Seams! But until the game gives us canon pronouns, this blog’s Seam is a Demi-boy. That means they use both they/them and he/him.
In addition, I’m also non-binary??? So??? Please don’t accuse me of being malicious towards non-binary characters and erasing their identities please. Demi-boys are still non-binary and very valid, so please keep that in mind!
Thanks for your understanding! If seeing this headcanon makes you uncomfortable, I don’t mind if you unfollow. Just please stop sending angry asks about it. Again, Seam is still non-binary in this au. )
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maria-akira · 4 years ago
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good girls don't get used: michael langdon x fem! reader
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—♡—
READ PART 2 HERE
summary: michael langdon, your ex, falls into a bet wherein he has to (fake) date you. if he falls in love again, he loses and doesn't get the prize.
warnings: private school au, fuckboy!michael, slight mention of sexual topics + i didnt proofread this mwahaha
this fic is inspired by the song 'good girls (don't get used)' by beach bunny.
i don't know if other private schools have bells, because mine doesn't :(
italicized bold words are direct lyrics from the song. but in this chapter, there are none since this is like an intro :)
—♡—
"Dude, shut the fuck up."
"Are you kidding? She really said that?"
"You really think that's gonna happen?"
"Who's class do you have first?"
Voices of different students flooded the white and grey hallways of the school. Different friend groups and teachers can be seen roaming the halls, getting stuff from their respective lockers as they waited for the bell to ring.
"Y/N! Do you mind if I borrow your calculator? I forgot mine at home and Math is my next class." She said while panting.
"Sure, here it is. If you lose it, I'd probably drop kick your ass." Y/N let out a small laugh and grabbed the calculator from her locker, giving it to her friend.
"Gosh, Y/N. I'll never lose it! I'll give it back during recess. Thanks again!" She flashed Y/N a smile and waved bye, before returning to her locker.
Y/N looked at herself in the mirror she had on her locker, fixing the tie that always seemed to be out of place whenever she checked. Her hair was neat, complete with a white headband that complimented the color of her school's uniform.
A few seconds later, the bell rang and everybody started rushing. Different couples were seen kissing before they parted ways for the mean time.
Cringe. Y/N thought. She shrugged it off and held her books tightly to her chest, walking to her next class.
Walking straight into the classroom, she noticed a group of guys dart their eyes to her direction as she entered. They gave her weird smirks. In return, she stared back at them while she made her way to her seat and never broke eye contact. Eventually, she noticed a familiar face among the group.
Michael, her ex.
How the fuck is he in my English class? She thought, along with a whole hundred thoughts roaming around her head. Michael stared back at her, giving her a wink.
Y/N's face gave a hint of disgust, "The fuck do you want, Langdon?" She stood up from her seat and walked over to Michael, pushing his other friends. She heard his friends coo and tease Michael for his act towards her.
Michael put up his hands in defense, "Chill, is it bad to wink at a pretty girl like you?" He said with a smug look, while he grazed his hand over her arm.
"Shut the fuck up, Langdon. Don't you ever touch me." Y/N slapped his hand away, his friends taken aback from her actions. As she walked back to her seat, the teacher entered as well.
Y/N put her face in her hands. By now, a million thoughts were in her head. It's been 2 years since Michael and her broke up, and since then, she made a promise to herself that she would never fall in love with men like him. She was so tired of all the tears and sleepless nights that Michael gave her.
She let out a sigh and lifted her head from her hands. The soft light from the windows filled her eyes after the darkness formed by her hands, causing her to rub her eyes to adjust from the light.
The rest of the hour went smoothly for Y/N, after English class was recess, her most favorite time of the day— aside from going home, of course.
She glanced at her watch, 10:28 AM.
2 more minutes, and English will be over. She thought.
She averted her gaze back on the white board full of scribbles about some writing lesson she clearly did not listen to. She looked over to her classmates and friends, Well they aren't listening either. She laughed at the thought.
As soon at the bell rang, everyone started packing up their notebooks, textbooks, and whatever they had on their table. Every student was seen rushing out of every classroom in hopes of being the first ones in line for the cafeteria.
On the way there, Y/N bumped into her friend group. "Hey Y/N! We heard about happened in English class. Michael is really in your class?" A friend of hers mentioned, "Yea, and apparently that son of a bitch winked at me, such a disgusting ass motherfucker. he should keep his fuck boy ass to himself." Y/N spat out, earning a chorus of 'oh's' from her friends.
When they arrived at the cafeteria, the line was painfully long, all of them groaned in frustration and they had no choice but to wait for the line to move. But once it did, it was faster than usual. After Y/N and her friends received their food, they left the cafeteria to eat at their usual place.
The school rooftop.
A few students know that staying in the school rooftop is permitted, which was why Y/N and her friends loved eating there.
When they arrived at the rooftop, they saw the usual people that they always encounter while staying there. The view was beautiful, there was no doubt about it. The small garden in the rooftop gave a beautiful and elegant touch.
Though there were a few chairs and tables, Y/N and her friends always preferred to eat on the floor. So, they laid the linen cloth on the ground and sat on it. Y/N was wearing the skirt uniform, thus she removed her tux and placed it on her legs to prevent her skirt from lifting.
They shared a few giggles while they ate their meals, laughing about some life experiences, or whatever they wanted to talk about.
Y/N loved this. She loved how she and her friends would have little moments like these, it was like an escape from reality.
The rest of the day went smoothly for Y/N. She didn't fall asleep in any of her classes, which in this case was a very big accomplishment for her.
As soon as she arrived home, her little brother, Aaron, rushed towards her. "Y/N!! I missed you!" He chimed, Y/N kneeled down onto his level and gave him the tightest hug. "I missed you too, Aaron!" Her mom came into the room and smiled. Y/N stood up and gave her mom a hug as well.
"How was school?" Her mom asked, Y/N placed her tux on the coat hanger by the door. "It was fine, Mom. Where's Dad?" Y/N walked over to the fridge and poured herself a glass of milk, "He'll be home soon, he still has a meeting right now." She took a sip of her milk, "Oh, okay. I'll be upstairs doing school work." The glass of milk that was once full, now empty.
She took her things upstairs and plopped herself on the bed. Out of nowhere she felt a vibrating noise from her bag, she rummaged through her bag to find her phone and once she did, a message was see on her lockscreen.
Unknown Sender has sent you a message.
She unlocked her phone and went to her messages.
Unknown Sender: hey ;)
Her eyebrows furrowed. What the fuck?
(Y/N): hi? whos this?
read 2:29 pm
Unknown Sender: oh shit you deleted my number? damn.
"Huh? I don't recall deleting anyone's number..." She went to her recently deleted contacts and it showed nothing.
(Y/N): im sorry, i haven't deleted anyone's number recently, maybe you have the wrong number?
read 2:32 pm
Unknown Sender: im pretty sure you know me, Y/N.
They know my name. And her heart started pounding.
(Y/N): and im pretty sure i dont, so just reveal yourself before i report this number
read 2:35pm
Unknown Sender: ayo chill 😬 its me michael.
"Michael fucking Langdon? You've got to be fucking me right now." She felt rage fill her, slamming her keyboard.
(Y/N): langdon what the fuck do you want? i made it very clear that i dont want you talking to me.
read 2:40 pm
Before Michael could reply, she changed his contact name to 'Motherfucker'
You have changed Unknown Sender's contact name as 'Motherfucker'
Motherfucker: damn you still mad at me after 2 years? gosh (Y/N). whats with the nickname?
(Y/N): of course im still mad, asshole. ill never forget what you fucking did.
read 2:43 pm
Motherfucker: i thought you forgave me 🥺
(Y/N): FORGIVE YOU???? god langdon you're so fucking stupid, i will never forgive you. you didnt even say sorry in the first place!
Pissed off, Y/N blocked his number. "That fucking asshole." She mumbled to herself.
"Hey! Y/N!" A familar voice called out from the crowd. Y/N removed one earbud and turned around to find the voice that called her.
Once she saw the shiny blonde locks from that stood out in the crowd, she immediately ran in the opposite direction in hopes of avoiding him.
It was Michael, again.
"Y/N wait!" Michael called out again, chasing her
For some reason, Michael was able to catch her. He pulled Y/N into an empty science laboratory and they were both panting.
"What the fuck do you want this time, Langdon?" Y/N was catching her breath, fanning herself with her hand.
"Okay. First off, sorry for the sudden message. I know I pissed you off and that wasn't my intention at a—"
"What was your intention then?" She cut him off.
Michael panicked.
"Uh, you know? I just wanna talk to you again. Clear the bad air between us.."
Y/N let out a laugh, "Clear the bad air?? Oh gooood Langdon, you are really so stupid! You know what? You just made it worse." She pushed him off and walked out of the room,
"Whatever it is your planning, Langdon, I'm telling to stop it. I don't wanna talk to you or even go near you."
Michael was dumbfounded. She changed so much. He thought to himself.
2 years ago, Y/N was the sweetest, most innocent girl he knew. Playing with her feelings was Michael's biggest regret, and he's starting to feel it again.
Michael was about to leave the room until he felt a buzzing from his pocket, He pulls out his phone to see who was calling him.
Duncan, one of his bestfriends.
Michael answered the call, "Hello?"
"What's the update on your little girl?"
"She still doesn't trust me."
"That's sad man."
"I know. She changed alot. "
"What do you mean by 'changed'?" Duncan emphasized,
"I can't point it out, Dunc."
"Whatever you do, don't chicken out. I promise this bet is worth it."
"Fine, I trust you."
Call Ended.
Michael ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and left the room before the bell rang.
It was the last subject of the day. Most students were falling asleep or on their phones.
Y/N was scribbling weird things on the back of her notebook, when suddenly the bell rang. She packed up her stuff and stood up from her seat. Before she could leave the room, she saw a familiar face again.
Michael stood by the doorway of her classroom, the strap of his bag over one shoulder while he looked for Y/N among the other students.
Y/N ignored Michael and walked past him, but he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards him.
"Langdon! What the fuck do you want?!" She screamed, all of the students averting their attention to her.
Michael put a finger on his lips, shushing her. "Let's go somewhere private, yea?"
"But—"
Before she could object, Michael dragged her outside towards the parking lot.
"Okay this is actually something serious—"
"CUT THE SHIT LANGDON! IM TIRED OF YOU."
"Woah‐woah! Easy now. I actually need your help, with school..."
Michael rubbed her shoulders, looking straight into her eyes. For once, Y/N believed him. His eyes were speaking the truth.
"Okay, fine. Shoot."
"I can't believe I'm saying this.."
"Don't waste my time, Langdon."
"Fine! I'm failing."
Y/N's mouth hung open. Michael was one of the top students in their batch and this was obviously a huge surprise for her.
"Oh, really? What am I gonna do about that?" She crossed her arms and cocked her head to the side.
"Can you please help me? Like, tutor me?" At this point, Michael was desperate.
"Um, no thanks. Just fuck some other girl's pussy for your grades." Y/N pushed him away, but Michael stopped her again.
"I'm serious, Y/N. I really need your help."
"Why me?"
Now that made Michael nervous.
"Because you happen to be the top of our batch right now?"
"Fine! Under one condition."
Michael was curious, "What?"
"If I do this tutor shit, we're doing it at my place. I can't tutor you in your messy ass room." Y/N said. She always remembered how messy Michael's room was when they were together. He would only clean when he was scolded by Y/N.
"That's fine by me."
"Okay then. 5pm, sharp."
She walked away, but Michael pulled her again.
"Let me go! What do you want now?" Y/N said, clearly annoyed.
"Unblock my number, silly." Michael chuckled,
"No."
"How are you supposed to know if I already arrived?"
"Theres a doorbell, dimwit. I'll be downstairs waiting for you."
"Bu—"
"Bye, Michael. I'll see you later." Y/N flashed him a small smile and continued to walk away.
Once he saw Y/N reach the bus stop, he started walking to his car, until someone tapped him on his shoulder.
"Hey Michael, whats the update? I saw you talking to her." It was Duncan. His brown hair was lightly gelled back and the first two buttons of his white dress shirt were undone.
"I'm still trying to win her back, I lied to her that I was failing so she could tutor me. That way, it'll be easier."
Duncan smirked, "That's my boy! When will this tutor thing start?"
"Later, 5pm."
"Hmm, that's good. Remember, if you fall in love again, bet's over."
"I won't."
—♡—
tags mwah: @kitwalker02 @sojournmichael @angelicmichael @deademobitch @iheartfrogs101 @tatestripedsweater @mrs-march-ahs
i hope you guys enjoyed this. i wrote this while doing schoolwork </3
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bitch-butter · 3 years ago
Text
(Modern!AU Webgott idea. Longish? Will eventually be called true bluish light. Tell me if this is interesting lol
Rated C for mentions of Joe's poor COVID protocol)
* * *
The blackout curtains that hung over the single window in the somewhat narrow bedroom were intensely effective, shrouding the occupants of the bed in a heavy darkness that even the daylight outside could not permeate. The still potent smell of sex lingered over the room, sweat and saliva and everything else casting a gross and homey aroma over the rumpled sheets and discarded clothing along the floor. Just around the edges of the curtain was a thin, white glow, but beyond that absent suggestion of light the room remained dark and still, as though nobody was there at all.
Pulling in a deep breath, Joe admitted he really shouldn’t have been there.
Shouldn’t have stayed the night, at least, if anything for the sake of his own reputation. He’s not typically one to go full spoons with a stranger (or, practically a stranger) no matter how good the sex had been, and he’s definitely never been one to spend the night somewhere that is not his bed. He’s spent years crafting his bed, has read actual magazine articles about how to create the best, most comfortable space, and after many years of hard work he is lucky enough to have created what many have called the Coziest Place in America. Suffice it to say, he does not like to spend a night in someone else's bed and he doesn’t think he needs to apologize for it.
This bed isn’t the worst, though.
And the guy that came with it wasn’t the worst either, he had to say. Joe had been ready to delete the app that led him to this guy and his bed, but it’s funny what a ‘ping’ on a lonely Friday night after nearly a year of no sex could do. Turns out that celibacy has made him into a fucking cuddler.
He’s not all that sorry about it. Keeping his distance from contact with other humans has handily prevented him from catching COVID thus far, and not everybody in his circle can say the same thing, as Tab had caught it first out of all of them via an ill-timed jaunt to Miami and Lip had had it twice now by virtue of his shoddy lungs and over-eagerness to lend a hand to people in his building. But a year is long, and half a bottle of cold Kim Crawford accomplished a lot at diminishing his capacity to give a shit about anything other than getting some attention on his dick. As long as the guy had sworn he tested negative, which he had, and Joe himself had tested negative, which he was, he saw no reason not to waltz into a total strangers apartment to merrily screw for as long as they both could stand to.
And it turns out this guy can stand a lot.
Joe has to admit at least half the reason he spent the night was that he actually was exhausted by the sheer voracity of their fucking. They oughta hand out medals for this shit, or something.
He finds himself smiling as he lets his mind wander over their earnestly passionate exploits of just a few hours past, and proceeds to let his eyes linger on the form of his companion. Though the room outside the warm enclosure of the blankets is a little cool the guy has one bare leg stretched out along the sheets, pressed up tightly against Joe’s own blanketed legs, with the remaining covers bundled against his chest. Resting mostly sideways on his belly, his face is turned towards Joe in sleep, mashed into the pillows and yet somehow managing to look as effortlessly gorgeous as he had looked in his photos on the app. His body moves with deep breaths, the steady inhale and exhale in combination with the sheltering warmth of the blanket nearly lulling Joe back to sleep.
Nearly.
He needed to get up, at the very least to find his phone and check the time. As carefully as he could he extracted his body from the tangle of covers, stepping lightly onto the carpet with his eyes on the other guy's face all the while, mindful not to disturb him. The night before he hadn’t even bothered to check his messages before passing out, and as such headed straight for the amorphous blob of his pants that rested just a foot away from the bed, crouching and reaching into his back pocket to grab his phone.
He hadn’t told Babe where he was going, as he’d only gathered the stones to go circa 11p.m. and he figured Babe was either asleep or performing his Getting Ready to Fuck routine and wouldn’t want to be disturbed. He almost feels sorry for Babe, who had loved the idea of dating a future doctor until this year when the sexiness of it was side-swiped by the actual danger the position entailed. As such, the Getting Ready to Fuck routine had an extra layer of manic energy to it, and Joe knew better than to try and pull Babe’s attention away from the hours preceding Gene’s rare, rare, rare visits to the apartment.
Even so, the amount of message icons he was presented with was unexpected to say the least.
He raised his eyebrows, nearly humming in interest as he noted the time. Jesus Christ, these blackout curtains are really worth their salt if it was nearly noon.
Tapping into his messages, he found a trickle of anxiety rolling down his spine.
FRI AT 11:42PM
Babe
Hey where r u?
I gotta talk to you
SAT AT 12:00AM
Babe
Are you coming back?? Srs need to talk
Feb 5 12:00AM
Missed call/Mobile
Babe
SAT AT 12:02AM
Gene Roe
Hi Joe, it’s Gene. idk if i gave you my number?
Trying to get a hold of you, call/text when you get a chance
Thanks
SAT AT 12:20AM
C h u c k
Babe is trying to find you
Feb 5 12:30AM
Missed call/Mobile
Babe
SAT AT 12:50AM
Speirs Ron
Why am i getting texts at 12:45 at night asking me to find you?
Well, something is fucking happening. And he’s at least 100% sure he wants no fucking part of it because any drama that starts after 11p.m. is the drama of the goddamn devil.
Fighting not to heave an enormous sigh, Joe reluctantly acknowledges that he should pull his clothes on and get out of here if there really is an emergency in the vicinity of his roommate. Looking back over his naked shoulder Joe tries to catch a glance at the guy in the bed, at the length of his bare leg in the semi-darkness, and the angle of his shoulder protruding from the blankets where he curled. He’d happily get back in that bed and go another round or five.
As though alerted to Joe’s presence by the cosmos, his phone begins buzzing in his hand. Huffing in annoyance, he attempts to reject the call at least until he can get out of the room, but throws himself off kilter and bangs his elbow into the bedside table, jostling a glass of water and a pile of paperbacks.
“Shit,” he curses, grasping at his elbow and shooting a glance back to the guy, whose eyes are already open and alerted to the noise.
Damn it.
The guy blinks slowly, bleary, for a moment before pulling his face from his pillows and angling up onto his side. “Hi,” he greets softly, running a hand through his mussed hair.
“Hi,” Joe nods back, grimacing. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
The guy shakes his head, looking for all intents and purposes like he means it. “Not at all,” he sniffs, meeting Joe’s eyes in the darkness with a still-sleepy smile. “What time is it?”
“Oh man, it’s like noon.”
Furrowing his brow, the guy nods back before shooting Joe a wry smile. “We tired ourselves out, huh?”
Joe laughs, seeing his phone light up in his hand with a new message. “Speak for yourself.”
At the interested quirk of the other man’s brow Joe hastily gives a shake of his head and stands. “I’ll get out of your hair quick, no worries, just be a minute.”
The guy frowns, sitting up in the bed to let the blankets pool around his hips, hands coming to rest between his legs. “Oh, well, don’t feel like you have to.”
Joe pauses, pants in hand. “Oh, it’s not -”
“I mean, if you want to go then for sure, but like…” the guy waves a hand, pursing his lips before smiling and coughing out a laugh. “Are you hungry? I have eggs, I can make you something before you go.”
He hesitates, eyes pivoting from the guy, to his phone still in his hand, and back to the guy and his open, expectant face. After a moment, he clears his throat. “You know, I could eat.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I could, could you?”
The guy smiles, and even in this mostly dark room Joe can see he has dimples and has to hold himself back from practically swooning, cursing his half-drunk self of the night prior for not remembering exactly how attractive this guy was. “I could use some coffee, is what I can use,” he says, stretching his arms over his head, and Joe is treated to the sight of his bare, bitten up chest. Usually he doesn’t take much notice of his partner's body hair, but as he lets his eyes trace over the guy's chest and legs as he moves to stand he finds himself clearing his throat and getting a little warm along his neck.
“Yeah, tell me about it,” he responded distractedly, pulling his eyes away from the luscious sight of the guy's ass as he bends to retrieve his underwear and instead moving to put his own on. After a second thought he pulls on his shirt as well; might do him some good if he finds himself flushing up at just a glimpse of this guy's ass.
As he slips his shirt over his head, the guy turns to him with a bit of a sheepish look on his face. “Can I admit something?” he asks, lips scrunched.
Joe pauses, still grasping the hem of his shirt. “What?”
“I…” he starts, before chuckling somewhat awkwardly. “I don’t totally remember your name...”
A fair bit of relief surges through him at that, and Joe finds himself huffing out a laugh of his own, and adds another one at the half-embarrassed and half-expectant smile the guy gives him. “Can I admit something back?”
“What?”
“I don’t remember yours either.”
The guy's eyes widen minutely, before he tips his head back and laughs, nodding gently as he rubs a hand over his face. “Is it bad manners to say that’s a relief?”
“I think it’s alright as long as neither of us care,” Joe said, pushing his hair back, before stepping up to the guy and extending a hand. “I’m Joe.”
The guy grasped his hand in a sure grip. “David,” he replied with a little shake of their hands, before leaning in and pressing a dry kiss to Joe’s cheek. “Nice to meet you.”
Joe turned his face into David’s, catching his lips in a tender, if chaste, kiss. “Nice to meet you.”
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Text
on avatarhood post-fearpocalypse
Not sure how to write this one down. When I haven't been actively putting it off, I've been starting and deleting this for the past hour or so. I think a place of honesty is the best way I can carry forward. So, uh, four things:
1. This isn't really much of a lost connection. Sorry.
There are some people I encountered that I do, genuinely, want to see and/or hear from again. There are others that, while I don't want to see again, I am morbidly curious to see where they ended up. The only problem is that, well, in some ways I did lose connection! Internet connection. Voluntarily.
After the apocalypse, I just didn't touch the internet for months. It was annoying as hell, but I absolutely had to. For the first month after I got home, I kept most of my electronics in a box. Stayed as far away from social media as possible, and am still trying to. This is because--
2. My domain was... weird.
As in: my domain was my phone. I think.
No, I wasn't (physically) trapped inside of it, or attached to it in a dependent way. Well, I guess in some ways I was trapped in there, right? When I realized that my phone was... I don't know, malevolent? Influencing me? Influencing others? When I realized that, I tried to break it or throw it away a few times, but it'd remain in tact, or just come back like the world's weirdest boomerang.
But even during the apocalypse, it was just a normal phone (aside from not running out of battery). It was my only degree of normalcy, so I started to make diary vlogs. I thought it was really funny how TikTok was still operational, so I decided to post some there for kicks just to see what other people thought. Hell, I just wanted to know if there were other people still out there.
I didn't want to think about the implications. I still don't. Call me a coward if you'd like: I certainly do.
3. I need to find someone else like me.
The main reason I'm writing this here, now, is that I want to know I wasn't the only one who had a domain like this. I hadn't realized how literal some domains were until everyone else in my life started to talk about it, and for--er, reasons--I wanted to keep my mouth shut just in case whatever I said gave someone the wrong idea.
I really need to hear that I'm not the only one whose domain wasn't a place. I really want to hear that there's someone else out there who--I don't know, wasn't confined to a location but was still afraid. Apparently there were some people who just can't feel afraid and weren't affected, and there was this whole thing about Melanie King "severing a connection" or whatever, but... I was neither of those things.
I've always been a little emotionally detached, but that didn't mean I wasn't fucking terrified, y'know? I could see the Change from my apartment window and I thought my family's mental illnesses were finally catching up to me. There are so many things I thoughtlessly recorded that I ended up deleting once everything stopped. I don't even know why I thought it'd be a good idea to keep those, even if it was just to reaffirm to myself that it was, in fact, happening.
Recently I bought a new phone. The dread remains all the same whenever I look it.
4. I think I was an Avatar.
I tried to delay the inevitable as long as I could, but that was probably, deeply, unfair. And this is starting to get away from me very fast, so I think I need to get to the point, like, now.
I don't want to get too deeply into it--"it" being all the warning signs and personal trauma and whatever the fuck entails "becoming an Avatar." I might have even been an Avatar even before the Change; I genuinely don't know, but it doesn't matter much to me anymore.
(My personal opinion is that, in the apocalypse--and if evidence suggests, before it--there was a spectrum with two ends when it came to the entities: the fearful and the feared. One ate, one was eaten, and your point on that spectrum could be shifted at any time. Any time.)
That aside, I genuinely don't know what entity I "served" or whatever. It was part coping and part survival the entire way through for me. Beholding seems like the obvious choice, since I was recording and talking to people, but... I embodied a lot of other things too. I think if I explain it, it'll make more sense:
Sometime into making my vlogs, I started running into other people. They'd always be a little bewildered to see me, but whatever torture they were enduring or inflicting would just... come to a halt. In the beginning, I didn't even realize that the people were going through hell: I was just so relieved to see someone that I'd call out to them, ask them how they were doing, sit with them and just relish the company of a human being for awhile. I didn't even realize the camera was recording some of the time.
And those first few times, I'd practically beg the person (or people) to come with me. They always accepted, even though I was simultaneously super clingy and closed-off. They always put up with me and my stupid phone. But they were never able to stick around.
By the time I stopped remembering faces, I stopped asking.
I had resolved to find somebody important to me in the very beginning, so I was always travelling. But I never stopped trying to talk to anyone I found. I'd always say some shit like, "Care to introduce yourself to the viewers?" and, "So tell us what traumas are going into your cringe compilation," and other influencer lingo just to lighten the mood, but some things--referring to the "viewers" and speaking about myself in the plural--became reflex.
And our conversations always came with the expectation of speaking of some sort of trauma. A tiny part of me always looked forward to it: I always tried to remind myself that people wanted to talk about themselves, their problems, and to be able to talk; that I was just one of many people in a bad situation and that I shouldn't prioritize my own suffering.
But I think... well, if I describe it, there's no damn way I won't be called a sociopath by someone. So just assume that I uncomplicatedly enjoyed their pain and pat yourself on the back for being able to believe you're still morally upright after all this time.
Sorry. It's just... I've been thinking about how people might respond a lot. I've curated a lot of this just to make sure no one tries to witch-hunt me while still trying to keep my story believable.
I think that's a sign to stop digging my own grave.
Apologies for how long it got in the end there, haha. I'm trying to... not really put this all behind me, I don't think any of us can. I've accepted what had become of me--or, well, I'm in the process of it--thus why I'm back on the internet in the first place.
I haven't gotten rid of the old phone yet, because... I've been thinking about uploading some of the videos I've recorded. From the Fearpocalypse. I desperately want to delete all of it, to keep it out of reach (my reach, particularly), but I... I think it needs to be archived somewhere. Anywhere.
You’re not an advice column, but since I’ve already gotten this far… well, I shouldn’t ask more than that. If I upload those videos, and you recognize me or yourself, feel free to reach out. I live in East Texas, but I somehow stumbled across some domains in Britain, Egypt, Japan, the Philippines, etc… (I didn’t learn about the Entities until the late leg of the apocalypse, so I was just trying to find domains that seemed to connect to the fears of the person I was looking for. Lots of Lonely, Slaughter, and End domains.)
(ROSE’S NOTES: damn another long post, I don’t know what to say. I uh. I hope you can find comfort in the internet again. I personally don’t know what i’d do if I had that domain. The internet is a safe place for me and has been for nearly a decade. Damn. Rose getting into stuff she should talk to a therapist about huh? Anyways. I guess to make a post that’s already long longer, I hope this post has made you feel better. I hope you find someone to talk with who understands what you went through. Take care my friend)
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