#source: Abbott and Costello

[iwasmadetobeasoldier]

Pietro, Steve and Thor are trying to discuss how baseball is played

Thor: Captain! Come over here! You know how Midguardian's play this game called baseball. Explain it to us.

Steve: It's quite simple, personally I think baseball is better than most other sports, but anyway.

Pietro: Aren't there's plates involved?

Steve: Okay, there's first base, second base and third base, the guy who hits the ball is on home. Alright, Who's on first, What's on second, and I Don't Know's on third.

Thor: So Who's on first?

Steve: Yes. 

Pietro: help?

Steve: Who is one first.

Pietro: We're asking you! Who's on first??

Steve: He is!

Thor: who?

Steve: yes!

Pietro: what is the guys name on first base?

Steve: what's on second, who's on first.

Thor: I don't know.

Steve: he's on third.

Pietro: what??

Steve: he's on second.

Thor: let's try this again. Who is the guy on first base.

Steve: correct. 

Pietro: We. Are. Asking. You, Steve.

Steve: Who is on first base.

Thor: what is the guys name on first base???

Steve: What is on second, Who is on first!

Thor: I don't know!

Pietro and Thor : THIRD BASE

[incorrectcomicbookquotes]

Young Justice New Recruits 3

Robin: (working on the super-cycle)

Superboy: (walks up) Tim, tell me the name of the new recruit in the trophy room.

Robin: What.

Superboy: Tell me the name of the new recruit in the trophy room!

Robin: What.

Superboy: WHO! IS THE GUY! IN THE TROPHY ROOM?!

Robin: No, Who's monitoring the computer.

Superboy: I don't care about the computer! Gimme the roster! (grabs clipboard) Where is the name of the guy in the trophy room?!

Robin: (takes back clipboard) No, Where is the name of the guy fixing the security cameras.

Superboy: Who's fixing the security cameras?!

Robin: No, Who's monitoring the computer.

Superboy: ...

Impulse: (runs up) Tim! What is the name of the guy monitoring the computer?!

Robin: No, what is the name of the guy cleaning the trophy room.

Impulse: Who's cleaning the trophy room?!

Robin: No, Who's monitoring the computer.

Impulse: That's what I'm asking!

Superboy: Who is the guy fixing the security cameras?!

Robin: No, Who is at the computer! Where is the brother fixing the cameras!

Impulse: Who's brother?!

Robin: Of course!

Superboy: Okay, bird-boy! Listen, and listen good; what is the name of the guy cleaning the trophy room, who is monitoring the computer, and where is the third recruit?!

Robin: Yes! Exactly! You finally got it! Guard the entrance while I check on them, okay? (leaves)

Superboy & Impulse: ... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

Superboy: C'mon, we're gonna get to the bottom of this!

Impulse: But Tim said to guard the entrance.

Superboy: Forget the entrance! Let's go!

To Be Continued

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie can't seem to comprehend that Steve likes him, which drives Steve crazy.

Steve: I like you.

Eddie: Hugh? Who's Hugh?

Steve: No, I like YOU.

Eddie: Yeah, I heard you the first time. Hugh. Sounds like a nice guy. Didn't know you were into dudes.

Steve: *looking like he wants to scream* okay, okay, I like Eddie.

Eddie: Oh, OH! I get it now. *Steve sighs in relief* Hugh is his last name. Eddie Hugh.

Steve: *throws his hands up* What is happening? This is so. . .weird!

Eddie: I mean, it is kind of weird, but with a name like mine, who am I to judge? So, are you going to tell this other Eddie how you feel?

Steve: *screams in frustration and grips his hair in his hands*

Unable to take it anymore, Steve grabs Eddie's face and pulls him in for a deep, furious kiss. When they pulled away, they were both breathing heavily.

Eddie: I don't know why you just didn't do that to begin with, baby.

Steve: Did you know exactly what I was talking about the entire time?

Eddie: Yep!

Steve: *sighs*

[incorrect-snkquotes]

Kyo: Who is your favourite muppet?

Chizuru: No, Who is my favourite doctor.

Iori: …

[tyrantisterror]

You've stated that you’ve found every Dracula adaptation EXCEPT Netflix’s Castlevania to a pale imitation of Bram Stoker’s original novel. Why then do you have a soft spot for Legosi’s Dracula? Are there any other unfaithful adaptations of Dracula you feel particularly affectionate towards?

...I don't think that's quite what I've stated, actually. While I think almost every adaptation of Dracula I've seen/listened to/read has altered and cut a lot of the things I love about the book they're supposedly based on, often to the point of being unrecgonizable, I don't think that means they have no merit as stories of their own. Like, an adaptation can be unfaithful to the source material and still be a good story in its own right. And you can be disappointed that an adaptation took so many divergences from the source material while still liking the end product.

I have affection for the vast majority of Dracula adaptations I've seen. The Hammer Dracula movies are some of my favorites - they're really what people are adapting when they turn Van Helsing into Dracula's nemesis, and Peter Cushing's take on Van Helsing is, while not quite true to his literary counterpart, absolutely iconic. He's like the Sherlock Holmes or MacGuyver of vampire slaying, constantly improvising new methods of fending off and fighting vampires.

Or, like, Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein, which is one of the first and absolute best horror comedies ever made, and marked the only time Bela Lugosi returned to play Dracula. It has almost nothing in common with the book by Bram Stoker, taking just the concept of Count Dracula and inserting him into this farce where he tries to make the Frankenstein monster his minion by giving it Lou Costello's brain. Not a "faithful" adaptation, but the world would be worse without it.

Almost every adaptation of Dracula takes every character from the book who isn't named "Dracula" or "Van Helsing" and either drains them of personality so they're no longer recognizable, or cuts them altogether, and I will always find that disappointing as a fan of the book. But those adaptations often have other things going on that compensate for it and make them good or at least interesting stories in their own right. Do I wish more adaptations were faithful to the book? Yeah, because the characters in the book are excellent and deserve to be known just as well as the Count himself. But that doesn't mean the adaptations that gut them don't have their own charms.

[lovetransaction]

It's wild to me that people's opinions of John (not factoring in personal bleed) are based ENTIRELY on the shitshow that was his life post-Mary death. Like people are out here measuring Sam's and Dean's heights to calculate the nutritional deficit in Dean's physical development but can't spare a minute to think about John as a whole character. Okay come with me for a minute:

you're John Eric Winchester from Normal, Illinois, and you're a pretty ordinary child, there's literally nothing exciting about you but here you are! You exist! You like yo-yos and guns and planes or at least that's what your parents buy for you.

your dad, who tends to go to work at odd hours, takes you to see an Abbott & Costello movie about a mummy when you're a pre-schooler and it scares the piss out of you. Your dad (who has intimate knowledge of the REAL things that go bump in the night) buys you a music box to calm you down. This music box plays a song from one of the most famous cinematic scenes of romantic melancholy that exists. Despite the late 50s being music box heyday with many options available that play lullabies, for some reason everyone thinks this is a reasonable choice. You will in fact idly whistle "As Time Goes By" all throughout your life.

when you're four, your dad abandons you and you never hear from him again or ever find out why he left you.

your mother Millie doesn't remarry. You have no family around (presumably?) so she raises you, alone, a single mother who can't even claim her husband died in the war, any war. You barely talk about your childhood even in relation to your own sons and how you raise them.

you play baseball/softball because where else can you find a readymade source of companionship and a built-in father figure (from a distance).

at seventeen full of anger and a dad-hole a mile wide you fake your age to join the Marines and be shipped off to Vietnam. While you don't talk about it much when you return to the World, you will default to drill sergeant when your back's to the wall.

you become a mechanic because you come from a family of mechanics.

you meet Mary Campbell and your whole future falls into place. Or at least, that's what you believe. Until November 2nd, 1983.

like there's ALL OF THAT before the John Winchester who's an enormous mess but does everything he can to keep his kids alive. I'm not saying anybody needs to like John but the kneejerk response of "he should be KILLED ACTUALLY" to even the canonically unequivocally good things he did while examining other characters' microexpressions down to the nth degree to ascribe victimhood is just so weird.

[dr-archeville]

This weekend (Friday, October 6th to Thursday, October 12th, 2023) at the Carolina Theatre of Durham, it’s the Universal Monsters Film Series!

Universal Monsters is the name given to a series of distinctive horror, suspense and science fiction films made by Universal Studios from 1923 to 1960. Although not initially conceived as a franchise, the enduring popularity and legacy of the films and the characters featured in them has led the studio to market them under the collective brand name of Universal Studios Monsters.

Featuring:

Charles Barton’s Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

James Whale’s Bride of Frankenstein (1935)

Jack Arnold’s Creature from the Black Lagoon - 2D Version! (1954)

Tod Browning’s Dracula (1931)

James Whale’s Frankenstein (1931)

James Whale’s The Invisible Man (1933)

Karl Freund’s The Mummy (1932)

George Waggner’s The Wolfman (1941)

Movie tickets are $10.00 each, or you can get a 5-pack for $30.  Check here for schedule.

“Along with the City of Durham, we have made major investments in the Carolina Theatre for the comfort and safety of our guests during our closure,” says Randy McKay, the Carolina Theatre’s President & CEO. “That includes tens of thousands of dollars in new state of the art HVAC upgrades from Global Plasma Solutions (GPS) that remove biohazards, pollen, and other contaminants to make our air as pure — and sometimes purer — than outdoor air.”  The theater has also earned a Global Biorisk Advisory Council® (GBAC) STAR™ accreditation for its cleaning practices to ensure that guests have a safe and enjoyable experience.  “Together, these cleaning practices and advanced air filtration make the Carolina Theatre one of the safest spaces to attend a film or live event in the region,” says McKay.  [source]

Carolina Theatre of Durham 309 W. Morgan St., Durham, NC http://www.carolinatheatre.org/

[rmsqueenmaryonthisday]

Who's Onboard?

Aboard the RMS Queen Mary on June 25, 1950 were Lou Abbott and Bud Costello, known generally as Abbott and Costello of Who’s on First fame, among other things. The pair are shown here on the ship’s sun deck with someone’s child and someone else’s kilts and foreign legion caps, clowning it up for the cameras. Source: Corbis

[mirandamckenni1]

16: The (Rhymes With Corn-O) Trolling Law Firm Illinois attorneys John Steele and Paul Hansmeier had an X-rated dream: to represent the “little guys”. The wrongfully accused? The juvenile delinquents? The small businesses? Porn production companies, of course. What started out as a seemingly legitimate copyright business model snowballed into what Federal Judge Otis D. Wright II called “a porno trolling collective”. Yes, there are court transcripts. Wolf of Wall Street meets Suits meets adult film stars meets iconic court transcripts. Watch Reb unzip the epic saga of Prenda Law and Ingenuity 13 LLC v. John Doe (2012). *** INTRO: 00:00 CASE STARTS: 11:10 Sources/Articles/Transcripts/Court Orders - Defense attorneys: Prenda litigation is 'unbelievable', 'just epic' - Washington Examiner (Dec. 23, 2012) (https://ift.tt/UfydpZV) - What Prenda Law is facing in Los Angeles - Ken White, Pope Hat (Mar. 6, 2013) (https://ift.tt/3OQP2gS) - Copyright Troll Case Tossed For 'Fraud On The Court' After Abbott & Costello-Worthy Hearing - Mike Masnick, TechDirt (Dec. 3, 2012) (https://ift.tt/Y4Dmfux) - John Steele's Property Caretaker Intervenes in Copyright Trolling Case, Alleging Identity Theft - Mike Masnick, TechDirt (Dec. 7, 2012) (https://ift.tt/x2la7uy) - Prenda Law's Attorneys Take The Fifth Rather Than Answer Judge Wright's Questions - Ken White, Pope Hat (April 2, 2013) (https://ift.tt/fAtgO1k) -Deep Dive: Prenda Law Is Dead - Ken White, Pope Hat (April 2, 2013) (https://ift.tt/nqs1N6y) - Judge Orders Prenda Law Group Beamed Out Into Space - Lowering The Bar (May 7, 2013) (https://ift.tt/hKoNclI) - Judge Wright's Sanctions Order (May 6, 2013), https://ift.tt/fAIZRMO - 'Look, you may hate me': 90 minutes with John Steele, porn troll - Joe Mullin, ArsTechnica (May 10, 2013) (https://ift.tt/zZf3EyO) - Another Judge Refers 'Porn Troll' Prenda Law to Prosecutors - Bill Donahue, Law360 (Nov. 12, 2013) (https://ift.tt/cgo0fQO) - Prenda's Hansmeier sentenced to 14 years, ordered to pay $1.5 million to victims - Fight Copyright Trolls (June 14, 2019) (https://ift.tt/bUDhH7P) via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4WWI3XE99U

[awesomeforever]

[ad_1] Have you seen a comedian, or comedy troupe, repeat a bit over, and over, and over, until the blatant unfunniness was painful to watch? In recent years, that's become almost the norm, especially on shows like "Saturday Night Live." If the comedy writers had known about the Rule of Three, and better yet had followed it, they could have avoided the problem and actually had the funny skit that they had intended.In short, the Rule of Three is: don't repeat a bit of comedy more than three times. When done right, the first time can be funny, the second time funnier, and the third time can build up to a crescendo of comedy. A fourth time, however, and it's the comedy equivalent of beating a dead horse -- the horse doesn't react, and neither does the audience -- at least not in a good way.Think of the great comedians of the past -- whether you think of individuals like Jack Benny, Bob Hope, Red Skelton, W. C. Fields and Jimmy Durante, or comedy teams like the Three Stooges, the Marx Brothers, Abbott and Costello or Laurel and Hardy -- can you think of them "beating a horse" in that way? No; it was something that they learned the hard way, performing in front of live audiences and adjusting their humor based on the audience's reactions.This doesn't mean that a comedian, humorist, speaker or clown can't repeat a mannerism more than three times -- obvious examples are Jack Benny's slow, elongated, "Well!" or Baron Munchausen's "Was you there, Charlie?" which they repeated hundreds of times during their careers -- but rarely more than 3 times in a given performance, if that many.Variety is the spice of life, but the old saying that "brevity is the soul of wit" still rings true. It doesn't matter if it's performing in front of children or adults, in front of a Rotary Club or national television, the Rule of Three still holds true.It should also be mentioned that the Rule of Three isn't limited to verbal humor. If you're doing slapstick comedy -- anything from throwing or receiving a pie in the face, or a kick in the posterior like Charlie Chaplin, or even the Three Stooges' patented eye-poke routine -- the Rule of Three still applies. How long would a Three Stooges short film be funny if Moe began poking Curly in the eye, then Larry, then Curly again, then Larry again... on and on for fifteen minutes?In summary, everyone needs to apply the Rule of Three to keep their humor short, funny, and memorable! [ad_2] Source by Tom Raymond

[omniversalobservations]

Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955)

Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy is a 1955 American horror comedy film directed by Charles Lamont and starring the comedy team of Abbott and Costello. It is the 28th and final Abbott and Costello film produced by Universal-International.

Plot Two Americans who are stranded in Cairo, Egypt, happen to overhear Dr. Gustav Zoomer discussing the mummy Klaris, the guardian of the Tomb of Princess Ara. Apparently the mummy has a sacred medallion that shows where the treasure of Princess Ara can be found. The followers of Klaris, led by Semu, overhear the conversation along with Madame Rontru, a businesswoman interested in stealing the treasure of Princess Ara.

Abbott and Costello go to the doctor's house to apply for the position to accompany the mummy back to America. However, two of Semu's men, Iben and Hetsut, murder the doctor and steal the mummy just before Abbott and Costello arrive. The medallion has been left behind, though, and is found by Abbott and Costello, who attempt to sell it. Rontru offers them $100, but Abbott suspects it is worth much more and asks for $5,000, which Rontru agrees to pay. She tells them to meet her at the Cairo Cafe, where Abbott and Costello learn from a waiter that the medallion is cursed. They frantically try to give it to one another, until it winds up in Costello's hamburger and he swallows it. Rontru arrives and drags them to a doctor's office to get a look at the medallion under a fluoroscope. However, she cannot read the medallion's inscribed instructions, which are in hieroglyphics. Semu arrives, posing as an archaeologist, and offers to guide them all to the tomb. Meanwhile, Semu's followers have returned life to Klaris.

They arrive at the tomb, where Costello learns of Semu's plans to murder them all. Rontru captures Semu, and one of her men, Charlie, disguises himself as a mummy and enters the temple. Abbott follows suit by disguising himself as a mummy, and he and Costello rescue Semu. Eventually all three mummies are in the same place at the same time, and the dynamite that Rontru intends to use to dig up the treasure detonates, killing Klaris and revealing the treasure. Abbott and Costello convince Semu to turn the temple into a nightclub to preserve the legend of Klaris and the three criminals who wanted to steal the treasure are presumably arrested.

Source: Wikipedia

(images via YouTube)

[saphira-approves]

Murtagh: Alright, I have a joke.

Eragon: You have a joke?

Murtagh: Yes.

Eragon: Is it funny?

Murtagh: Yes.

Eragon: Where’d you get it?

Murtagh: I wrote it.

Eragon: And it’s funny?

Murtagh: …YES.

Eragon: Well okay then, tell it.

Murtagh: Okay, well, here’s the thing—you can’t talk.

Eragon: W-

Murtagh: No talking, no questions, no interruptions. Got it?

Eragon: Yeah, yeah, got it, tell your joke.

Murtagh: Okay. So, once there was a whale—

Eragon: What kind of whale?

Murtagh:

Eragon: What kind of whale, Murtagh?!

Murtagh: I SAID NO INTERRUPTIONS. NO TALKING.

Eragon: Alright, alright! I just wanted to know what kind of whale!

Murtagh: I DON’T KNOW WHAT KIND OF WHALE!

Eragon: THEN JUST SAY THAT!

Murtagh: CAN I CONTINUE NOW?!

Eragon: YES

Murtagh: OKAY! Alright, so, there was a whale, out in the ocean—

Eragon: What ocean?

Murtagh:

Eragon: What ocean?! I WANNA KNOW!

Murtagh: I DON’T KNOW WHAT OCEAN, PICK ONE!

Eragon: OKAY, FINE! Fine! Go on, tell your joke!

Murtagh: ALRIGHT!! …okay, so, there was a whale, in the ocean, yes? And it was following a ship—

Eragon: What shi—

Murtagh: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD

[incorrectcomicbookquotes]

Young Justice New Recruits 1

Robin: (moping) This sucks. Not a single person came to the tryouts! I wanted to get at least three new members now that Empress quit the superhero life and Slo-bo is... well, who knows where Slo-bo is? What am I gonna do? (hears a knock at the door) Uh... come in?

???: Hello. Are we too late for the tryouts?

Who: My name is Who.

What: My name is What.

Where: And my name is Where.

Who, What, & Where: We're Who, What, and Where.

Robin: "Who, What, and Where?" What kind of codenames are those?

Who: We're from Hub City.

What: We're apprentices of the Question.

Where: We were hoping to join your team.

Robin: Alright, fair enough. Welcome aboard!

(Later)

What: (cleaning the trophy room)

Superboy: (walks in) Hi! You must be one of the new recruits Robin told me about. What is your name?

What: That's right!

Superboy: What's right?

What: Yep, What is my name.

Superboy: That's what I asked; what's your name?

What: Yeah, you just said that.

Superboy: I just said what?

What: That's right.

Superboy: ... okay, listen; my name is Superboy. What is your name?

What: Yeah, you already said that four times.

Superboy: (frustrated) I just said what four times?!

What: That's right.

Superboy: ... tell me your name.

What: What.

Superboy: Tell me your name!

What: What.

Superboy: TELL ME! WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!

What: Now, you've got it!

Superboy: ARRGH! (storms out)

To Be Continued

[liam-the-dilly]

And now, “Who’s On First?” DDLC Edition

Monika: Alright, Natsuki. If we're gonna convince Team Salvato to make a Doki Doki baseball game, we need to make sure everyone else is on board. Natsuki: Not to worry, I got ways of persuasion. *chuckles deviously* But in case that doesn't work, yeah, we gotta make sure we got enough people to support our cause. Now, you said you got a list of players? Monika: That's right. Natsuki: Well, I'll be honest, Monika, I haven't exactly seen your list yet. I think I already know some of 'em, but, ehhh...not all of 'em. ...Actually, all I know is that Sayori's playing right field. So how about you tell me the names of everyone else? Monika: Oh, I'll tell you their names. But I have to warn you, they give these ball players these days some...odd names. Natsuki: You mean like funny names? Monika: Strange names, yeah. Like, uh...Sleve McDichael... Natsuki: Or Shown Furcotte... *they both chuckle* Monika: Yeah, I'm not sure why people don't give their kids normal names anymore...but anyway, we've got...Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third... Natsuki: That's what I want to find out. Monika: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third. . . . Natsuki: Monika? Monika: Yes, Natsuki? Natsuki: Aren't you the manager of this team? Monika: Yes. Natsuki: And you're the coach too? Monika: Yes. Natsuki: And you don't know the guys' names? Monika: Well, I should. Natsuki: Well then who's on first? Monika: Yes. Natsuki: I mean the dude's name. Monika: Who. Natsuki: The guy on first. Monika: Who. Natsuki: The first baseman. Monika: Who. Natsuki: The guy playing... Monika: Who is on first! Natsuki: I'm asking YOU who's on first. Monika: That's his name. Natsuki: That's who's name? Monika: Yes. Natsuki: Well go ahead and tell me. Monika: That's it. Natsuki: That's who? Monika: Yes. ... Natsuki: *exasperated sigh* Look, you got a first baseman? Monika: Certainly. Natsuki: Who's playing first? Monika: That's right. Natsuki: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money? Monika: Every dollar of it. Natsuki: All I'm trying to find out is the guy's name on first base. Monika: Who. Natsuki: The guy that gets... Monika: That's it. Natsuki: *starting to get angry* Who gets the money... Monika: He does, every dollar. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. Natsuki: Who's wife? Monika: Yes. . . . Monika: What's wrong with that? Natsuki: Look, all I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name? Monika: Who. Natsuki: The guy. Monika: Who. Natsuki: How does he sign... Monika: That's how he signs it. Natsuki: Who? Monika: Yes. . . . Natsuki: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base. Monika: No. What is on second base. Natsuki: I'm not asking you who's on second. Monika: Who's on first. Natsuki: One base at a time, Monika! Monika: Well, don't change the players around. Natsuki: I'm not changing anything! Monika: Take it easy, girl. Natsuki: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base? Monika: That's right. Natsuki: Okay. Monika: All right. . . . Natsuki: What's the guy's name on first base? Monika: No. What is on second. Natsuki: I'm not asking you who's on second. Monika: Who's on first. Natsuki: I don't know. Monika: He's on third, we're not talking about him. Natsuki: Now how did I get on third base? Monika: Well, you mentioned his name. Natsuki: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third? Monika: No. Who's playing first. Natsuki: What's on first? Monika: What's on second. Natsuki: I don't know. Monika: He's on third. Natsuki: There I go, back on third again! . . . Natsuki: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it. Monika: All right, what do you want to know? Natsuki: Now who's playing third base? Monika: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base? Natsuki: What am I putting on third? Monika: No. What is on second. Natsuki: You don't want who on second? Monika: Who is on first. Natsuki: I don't know. Both: Third base! . . . Natsuki: Look, you got an outfield? Monika: Of course. Natsuki: The left fielder's name? Monika: Why. . . . Natsuki: I just thought I'd ask you. Monika: Well, I just thought I'd tell you. Natsuki: Then tell me who's playing left field. Monika: Who's playing first. Natsuki: I'm not... stay out of the infield! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field? Monika: No, What is on second. Natsuki: I'm not asking you who's on second. Monika: Who's on first! Natsuki: I don't know. Both: Third base! . . . Natsuki: The left fielder's name? Monika: Why. Natsuki: Because! Monika: Oh, he's centerfield. . . . Natsuki: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team? Monika: That's right. Natsuki: The pitcher's name? Monika: Tomorrow. Natsuki: You don't want to tell me today? Monika: I'm telling you now. Natsuki: Then go ahead. Monika: Tomorrow! . . . Monika: What time? Monika: What time what? Natsuki: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching? Monika: Now listen. Who is not pitching. Natsuki: I SWEAR I'LL LOSE IT IF YOU SAY WHO'S ON FIRST! I want to know what's the pitcher's name? Monika: What's on second. Natsuki: I don't know. Both: Third base! . . . Natsuki: Got a catcher? Monika: Certainly. Natsuki: The catcher's name? Monika: Today. Natsuki: Today, and Tomorrow's pitching. Monika: Now you've got it. . . . Natsuki: Okay, so, all we got is a couple of days on the team to set up a presentation for Mr. Salvato. Now, I'm a pretty good catcher too. Monika: I can believe that. Natsuki: So what I'm thinking is this: I get behind the plate to do some awesome catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter like, say, Yuri gets up. Now Yuri bunts the ball. When she bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw her out at first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who? Monika: Now, that's the first thing you've said right. Natsuki: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE HECK I'M TALKING ABOUT! . . . Monika: That's all there is to it. Natsuki: Is to throw the ball to first base. Monika: Yes! Natsuki: Now who's got it? Monika: Naturally. . . . Natsuki: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it? Monika: Naturally. Natsuki: Who? Monika: Naturally. Natsuki: Naturally? Monika: Naturally. Natsuki: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally. Monika: No you don't, you throw the ball to Who. Natsuki: Naturally. Monika: That's different. Natsuki: That's what I said. Monika: You're not saying it... Natsuki: I throw the ball to Naturally. Monika: You throw it to Who. Natsuki: Naturally. Monika: That's it. Natsuki: That's what I said! Monika: You ask me. Natsuki: I throw the ball to who? Monika: Naturally. Natsuki: Now you ask me. Monika: You throw the ball to Who? Natsuki: Naturally. Monika: That's it. Natsuki: Same as you! SAME! AS! YOU! I throw the ball to Who. Whoever it is drops the ball and Yuri runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow. Triple play! Someone else gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third, AND I DON'T EVEN CARE AT THIS POINT! Monika: What was that last part? Natsuki: I SAID I DON'T EVEN CARE AT THIS POINT! Monika: Oh, that's our shortstop.

[eviesmyspiritanimal]

Who's On First

Mal: *ready to pull a really good joke on Evie* Okay, so let's pretend we're organizing a baseball team here at Auradon, and I am the manager.

Evie: *curious* Wait a minute, you're gonna be the manager of the baseball team?

Mal: Yes.

Evie: *being her usual loving self and willing to do anything for her friends or with them* Well, I would like to join this baseball team.

Mal: You would, huh?

Evie: Yeah, but I need to know the names of the people so when I'm playing with them, I'll know them.

Mal: Well, sure, but you know they give baseball players some really strange names nowadays, don't you?

Evie: Okay, funny names.

Mal: So let me see, we have Who's on first, What's on second, and I Don't Know's on third.

Evie: See, that's what I wanna find out, what's the guy's name?

Mal: That's what I'm telling you, Who's on first, What's on second, and I Don't Know's on third. Anyway-

Evie: Now, hang on a sec. You're the manager of the baseball team?

Mal: Yeah.

Evie: And you don't know the guy's names?

Mal: Well, I should.

Evie: Well, you didn't tell me what their names were.

Mal: I've been telling you, Who's on first, What's on second, and I Don't Know's on Third.

Evie: You haven't told me anything yet, now go ahead.

Mal: I'm telling them!

Evie: You haven't said anything yet! Now tell me!

Mal: Who's on first, What's on second, and I Don't Know's on third.

Evie: You know the names of the guys on the baseball team?

Mal: Yes.

Evie: Okay, so who's on first?

Mal: Yes.

Evie: I mean the guy's name.

Mal: Who.

Evie: The guy on first.

Mal: Who.

Evie: The guy on first base.

Mal: Who is on first.

Evie: Well, what are you asking me for, I don't know!

Evie: I'm asking you, who's on first?!

Mal: That's his name: Who.

Evie: The guy on first.

Mal: Who.

Evie: The guy on first base.

Mal: That's it.

Mal: That's his name!

Evie: You've already said that!

Evie: You know the guy's name on first base, tell me the guy's name on first base.

Mal: Who.

Evie: The guy on first base.

Mal: Who.

Evie: WHAT ARE YOU ASKING ME FOR?!!!!

Mal: Now calm down, calm down! Who's on first.

Evie: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Gruntilda flies around Spiral Mountain on her broom cackling as usual, until see spots the angel hero Pit calling out for her.

Pit: Hey, I fell off the stage! Do you know how I could get back on?

Gruntilda: You can travel up the mountain on a jackass; did you ever ride a jackass?

Pit: No.

Gruntilda: Then you better get on to yourself! Heheheheh!

Pit: Hmm, that's a very funny joke, I think I'll try that one on Pittoo.

Later

Dark Pit: What took you so long?

Pit: I rode up Spiral Mountain on a jackass. Did you ever ride a jackass?

Dark Pit: No.

Pit: Then hop on my back! Hahaha!