#source: panda redd

[okaybutmakeitgayer]

Wally, at 3am: the birds work for the bourgeoisie!

Dick: what

Wally: Batman is a billionaire, right? And Batman is connected to a lot of the bird-themed superheroes!

Dick: the birds DO work for the bourgeoisie

[incorrectmlpstudentsixquotes]

Cozy Glow: I swear, if I run into one motherfucker who says that I look like that filly who got sealed away like 20 years ago, Chrysalis’ legs are gonna get some competition real fucking quick.

Some Guy: Hey kid, anyone tell you you look like that Cozy Glow chick that got petrified 20 years ago?

Cozy Glow: (pulling out a knife) Son of a bitch, Cozy, never let anyone tell you you aren’t a pony of your word.

[incorrect-skylanders-quotes]

Mags: Hey Krankcase, it’s getting pretty late, shouldn’t we be putting the chicken in the oven? The Senseis are coming over soon-

Dr. Krankcase: I fucked up…

Mags: What?

Dr. Krankcase: So I was in the kitchen, I was getting things ready for the Christmas dinner, right?

Mags: Right?

Dr. Krankcase: So I got the chicken, got the spices, got it all prepared, got it all stuffed up and put it in the oven.

Mags: But wait, I just saw the chicken on the counter-

Dr. Krankcase: And then I looked in the fridge… And I saw the chicken that we bought.

Mags: But I thought you just said you put it in the ove-

Mags: …No.

Dr. Krankcase: Yeah.

Mags: There’s no possible way you could’ve-

Dr. Krankcase: I fucked up…

Mags: Kranks, did you COOK Air Strike’s PET FALCON, BIRDIE?!

Dr. Krankcase: I FUCKED UP!!

Mags: Krankcase, we have enough money to buy every chicken farm that has ever existed in all of time, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I EVER ASKED YOU TO SLAUGHTER A LIVE ANIMAL?!

Dr. Krankcase: I DON’T KNOW! I forgot that we already bought a chicken!

Mags: Alright, alright, we’ll salvage this! We will salvage this!! WOLFGANG!! Get in here!!

Wolfgang: (enters the room) Yo, wassup? Hey, it’s getting kinda late. Don’t you think you should start preparing the chicken?

Dr. Krankcase: I already did…

Wolfgang: What are you talking about? I just saw it on the coun-… Oh. Oh! OH! HA-!!

Mags: Shut up! We don’t have time for you to laugh! Here, take my wallet, go put on a hoodie, go to the Falling Forest or some black market somewhere. By any means necessary, go get an identical looking falcon to the one Air Strike had!

Wolfgang: Wait, why do I have to go? I fucking hated that bird!

Mags: Because, honestly, you are more likely to steal it and we really need the speed right now!

Wolfgang: … Okay, that’s a fair point. Little hurtful, but a fair point. I’m gonna go.

Boom Bloom: (entering the room) Hey, why’s everybody in this room right… now…

Mags: …

Dr. Krankcase: …

Wolfgang: …

Boom Bloom: … You killed fake Birdie, didn’t you?

Dr. Krankcase: I’m so sorry! It was a complete accident!

Mags: Bloom, I’m so sorry, Krankcase didn’t mean to do it, it was a total mistake and did you just say fake Birdie?

Boom Bloom: Yeah, fake Birdie.

Mags: Yeah, no, explain. Now.

Boom Bloom: Well, it’s around Christmas time, and the Skylanders are filled with both the smartest and the dumbest fucking people in Skylands. No offense, Wolfgang.

Wolfgang: Yep, honestly, some taken.

Boom Bloom: So whenever there’s a holiday associated with the slaughter of an animal tangentially related to my friend’s favorite pet, I always assume that one of you is going to be dumb enough to slip up and end up killing him. No offense, Wolfgang.

Wolfgang: Yep, still- still some taken.

Boom Bloom: So, around the holiday time, I take Birdie, put him in an undisclosed location, and then I grab a replacement and let it… fly around the academy.

Mags: ……..

Boom Bloom: Yeah, hasn’t really been useful the last couple of years. But I know what I’m gonna thank Santa for this year!

Dr. Krankcase: Okay, so I didn’t kill Birdie?

Boom Bloom: No, dad, Birdie’s fine. This time. Let’s go eat!

[waterfire1848]

[ The She-Ra cast meeting He-Man. ]

Catra: What in the...

Adam: Hello. I’m new.

Glimmer: New to what? Steroids?

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

You Can Never Fly Again. You Must Live On This Island With The Birds

by JusticyWusticy

Despite not being Batman, Bruce still has an adoption problem. Bruce. Why is there a child? Bruce?

YOTP 2023 May Prompts: Child Acquisition, "Who are you?", Sunshine

Words: 1752, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 5 of YOTP 2023

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Original Characters, Original Male Character(s), Alfred Pennyworth, Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson's Parents (Mentioned), Mary Grayson (mentioned), John Grayson (mentioned), Jim Gordon (mentioned)

Relationships: Bruce Wayne/Original Character(s), Bruce Wayne/Original Male Character(s), Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Original Character(s), Dick Grayson & Original Male Character(s), Alfred Pennyworth & Original Character(s), Alfred Pennyworth & Original Male Character(s), Bruce Wayne/Batman - Relationship

Additional Tags: Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating, Bruce Wayne is Not Batman, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, Bruce Wayne has an adoption problem, Lazarus Pit Madness (DCU), Lazarus Pit Side Effects (DCU), Dick Grayson is a Ray of Sunshine, Dick Grayson is a Gift, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson Needs Therapy, Romani Dick Grayson, Dick Grayson Speaks Romani, Dick Grayson Gets a Hug, Dick Grayson Being a Little Shit, Bruce Wayne Gets Therapy, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Title from a 1912 school book my mom gave me, References to Galaxy Quest (1999), Little White Bird by JM Barrie reference, Panda Redd tiktok reference, Kidnapping? I think you mean Express Adoption

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/47343397

[readyforthesequel]

Numbuh 388: How does it feel being the most replaceable sector in all of Kids Next Door history?

Newly Recommissioned (Adult!)Sector Z:... Yeah shoulda seen that one coming.

Numbuh 388: Did Father just keep you guys around until you were too old to fit on Epstein’s plane?

Numbuh 21, setting a hand on her shoulder: Whoa, Daisy, maybe chill--

Numbuh 388: You will take your hand off of me or you will not get it back, Numbuh 21.

Numbuh 21: *Retracts hand*

[incorrectpowerrangersquotes]

They've always got sooo much to say about the Yellow Ranger, Jim and Juan, each of his ass cheeks has it's own individual name. I'd like to see which Ranger gets recognized by their ass once I get these fuckin' reps in.

Brody Romero, Power Rangers Ninja Steel

[pepperingsteaks]

hi hello i made another fnaf oc ncjzjcjd

they’re name is Redd (they/them) and they’re based on red pandas since that’s the only animal i can draw

Redd used to work at the ice cream parlour in Bonnie Bowl (i know there isn’t actually one just pretend there is for now). they enjoyed interacting with customers and had was a constant source of joy.

however, after Fazbear Entertainment had started using the Monty’s Mystery Mix in their food, Chica became aggressive. One day, as Redd was serving ice cream to a customer (who had just so happened to order it with Monty’s Mystery Mix), they were attacked by Chica, leaving them severely damaged.

despite this, Redd was eventually repaired to full functionality but they no longer had their happy-go-lucky personality. they refused to go back to the ice cream parlour and was scrapped as a result, left to rot in the sewers below the Pizzaplex, eventually forgotten by time.

uhh,,, this is all i have for them in terms of backstory. i might change a few things but that’s the basic idea of it. i’m still unsure if i should try to give them some sort of role in-game but i doubt it cnxnvnns

[parkerbombshell]

Ola's Kool Kitchen #426

Ola's Kool Kitchen on later today Wednesday 9pm BST on Bombshell Radio dreaming the pain away with Hello Forever, The Bats, Astronomers of the Strange, Vanessa Anne Redd, I Know I Know, MEMES, BATBAIT, Brutus Begins & Slow Pulp. 1.      Hello Forever-Some Faith- Whatever It Is-Rough Trade 2.      The Bats-Trade in Silence-Foothills-Flying Nun 3.      Astronomers of the Strange- A Ribbon on Your Loneliness-single-self release 4.      Vanessa Anne Redd-Dark Minds-single-Shark Attack Records 5.      I Know I Know-Talk-single-self release 6.      Memes-So What-single-Fierce Panda Records 7.      BatBait-Telly-single-Cold Storage Records 8.      Rob feat. Sonia Sanchez - Don't Kill Dub-Don’t Kill-Source Records 9.      Brutus Begins-Alright Alright-single-self release 10.   Pharoah Sanders - Hum Allah Hum Allah Hum Allah-Jewels of Thought-Impulse Records 11. Slow Pulp-Falling Apart- Moveys-Winspear Read the full article

[incorrectmlpstudentsixquotes]

Starlight: Hey Trixie, it’s getting pretty late, shouldn’t we be putting the chicken in the oven? The kids are coming over soon-

Trixie: I fucked up…

Starlight: What?

Trixie: So I was in the kitchen, I was getting things ready for the Hearth’s Warming dinner, right?

Starlight: Right?

Trixie: So I got the chicken, got the spices, got it all prepared, got it all stuffed up and put it in the oven.

Starlight: But wait, I just saw the chicken on the counter-

Trixie: And then I looked in the fridge… And I saw the chicken that we bought.

Starlight: But I thought you just said you put it in the ove-

Starlight: …No.

Trixie: Yeah.

Starlight: There’s no possible way you could’ve-

Trixie: I fucked up…

Starlight: Trixie did you fucking COOK Silverstream’s PET COCKATRICE, EDITH?!

Trixie: I FUCKED UP!!

Starlight: Trixie, Twilight left us enough to buy every chicken farm that has ever existed in all of time, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I EVER ASKED YOU TO SLAUGHTER A LIVE ANIMAL?!

Trixie: I DON’T KNOW! I forgot that we already bought a chicken!

Starlight: Oh, so next time we have a burger night, I’m gonna have to worry about you breaking into Yona’s dorm and turning her into ground beef?!

Trixie: To be perfectly honest, after today, I wouldn’t rule that out as a possibility.

Starlight: Alright, alright, we’ll salvage this! We will salvage this!! GALLUS!! Get in here!!

Gallus: (enters the room) Yo, whassup? Hey, Ma, it’s getting kinda late. Don’t you think you should start preparing the chicken?

Trixie: I already did…

Gallus: What are you talking about? I just saw it on the coun-… Oh. Oh! OH! HA-!!

Starlight: Shut up! We don’t have time for you to laugh! Here, take my wallet, go put on a hoodie, go to the Everfree or some black market somewhere. By any means necessary, go get an identical looking cockatrice to the one Silverstream had!

Gallus: Wait, why do I have to go? I fucking hated that little lizard-chicken!

Starlight: Because, honestly, you are more likely to steal it and we really need the speed right now!

Gallus: … Okay, that’s a fair point. Little hurtful, but a fair point. I’m gonna go.

Ocellus: (entering the room) Hey, why’s everybody in this room right… now…

Starlight: …

Trixie: …

Gallus: …

Ocellus: … You killed fake Edith, didn’t you?

Trixie: I’m so sorry! It was a complete accident!

Starlight: Ocellus, I’m so sorry, Trixie didn’t mean to do it, it was a total mistake and did you just say fake Edith?

Ocellus: Yeah, fake Edith.

Starlight: Yeah, no, explain. Now.

Ocellus: Well, it’s around Hearth’s Warming time, and your family is filled with both the smartest and the dumbest fucking people on the planet. No offense, Gallus.

Gallus: Yep, honestly, some taken.

Ocellus: So whenever there’s a holiday associated with the slaughter of an animal tangentially related to my girlfriend’s favorite pet, I always assume that one of you is going to be dumb enough to slip up and end up killing her. No offense, Gallus.

Gallus: Yep, still- still some taken.

Ocellus: So, around the holiday time, I take Edith, put her in an undisclosed location, and then I jaunt on over to the Everfree to grab a replacement and let it… scurry around the castle.

Starlight: ……..

Ocellus: Yeah, hasn’t really been useful the last couple of years, a lot of people end up getting petrified. But I know what I’m gonna thank Santa Hooves for this year!

Trixie: Okay, so I didn’t kill Edith?

Ocellus: No, Counselor, Edith’s fine. This time. Let’s go eat!

[waterfire1848]

Captain: So, so let me get this straight. The mission went off without a hitch?

Other guard: Yes.

Captain: And then you proceeded to get your butt kicked by two kids?

Other guard: In my defense, they were both good at fighting.

Captain: One of them is human!

Other guard: She had glyphs.

Captain: And you had real magic.

Other guard: The Owl Lady was with them.

Captain: Oh no. You’re right. You’re totally right. Just one question. Did you get beat up by the Owl Lady?

Other guard: No.

Captain: Who’d you get beat up by?

Other guard: The human and the dog thing.

Captain: The human and the dog thing!

Other guard: Steve got beat up too!

Captain: Steve got beat up by a lady with razor sharp claws, wings, and impressive strength. You got beat up by a middle schooler with a cape and a few tricks.

———————————————————

Captain: What happened?

Other guard: Hmm.

Captain: Let’s run through it. You were delivering the supplies to the Blights. Who showed up?

Other guard: The Owl Lady and her kids.

Captain: But you didn’t want to get beaten by kids this time, did you? So what did you do?

Other guard: I hit them with a fire spell.

Captain: And what happened directly because you did that?

Other guard: The Owl Lady did unspeakable things to my bones.

Captain: So what have we learned?

Other guard: Don’t mess with the kids.

[readyforthesequel]

Chad, about his son joining the KND:... Look, Numbuh 362, I know you probably have a lot of things to say--

Rachel: Should you bring it up, or should I?

Chad: Look, I didn’t choose for him to do this! It was his choice and--

Rachel: Hypocrite.

Chad: Fuck you!

Rachel: I thought “child soldiers” were wrong?

Chad: They are--!

Rachel: Looks to me like you let your-- how old is he? 10 year old son? Put on a valley village t-shirt and some jeans from Hot Topic to go fight adult tyranny.

Chad: This is different, he wanted to--!

Rachel: So how much training did you give him before you let him out there? Because it looks like you just told him you were Numbuh 274 and that he was weawy stwong and gave him a S.C.A.M.P.P.

Chad: Oh my god, McKenzie, I knew you were going to be like this!

[waterfire1848]

[ Hakoda coming back to the village one day with Zuko, Azula, Mai and Ty lee. ]

Hakoda: What?

Bato: Put them back.

Hakoda: No.

Bato: Put. Them. Back.

Hakoda: No!

Bato: Hakoda, put the Fire Nationals back where you found them.

Hakoda:

Bato:

Hakoda: No!

Bato: Why do you even need to adopt these four? The bald monk Avatar orphan and blind earthbender with abusive parents I get. Why them?

[ Hakoda explains their families. ]

Bato: Kanna! We have four more coming to dinner!

[waterfire1848]

[ Azula telling soldiers what to do if they run into the members of team Avatar. ]

Azula: In the case that Katara is angry…run. You’re screwed. She has no defining weaknesses and she will turn you into a pretzel.

[waterfire1848]

Micah: Okay. Which one of you did it?

Glimmer: What?

Catra: Ya. I’ve honestly done five things in the past hour that could warrant that question.

Micah: Confess or I let Swift Wind and Sea Hawk sing shanties all night.

Mermista: You wouldn’t-

Micah: Boys?

Frosta: Me and Netossa scared Catra into a tree with dog noises.

Micah: What?!

Perfuma: That’s not it.

Entrapta: One of my inventions escaped and destroyed the kitchen.

Scorpia: I replaced all of Bow’s arrows with water arrows.

Hordak: I never stopped paying all my Force Captains.

Catra: What?

Micah: Enough! I was asking which one of you told Adora that if she dresses in her 1985 costume that she’ll be stronger.

Catra: That was me.

Micah: Great. Come fix this.

Mermista to Glimmer: Doesn’t sound to me like that’s a situation that needs fixing.

[waterfire1848]

Catra: The Horde has almost been completely disbanded. We just have to clear out the iron mines.

Adora: Huh? Hey, Hordak?

Hordak: Yes?

Adora: Who’s even working down there?

Hordak: Oh! It’s Umm…it’s all the 80s villains people forgot about.

Adora and Catra: I’m sorry, what?!?