#speaking of song links teehee.

[moldwood]

It's raw and unrelenting

It is absolute regression

It is vileness wrapped up

And disguised as happy endings

[s1llyalabaster]

When mediocrity meets the supremacy - veritas ratio

Where the Doctor narrows his eyes at the trailblazer for stealing his partner's attention.. ~700 words, SFW (not necessarily connected, but read part 1!

AU where reader followed the trailblaze before quitting to pursue further studies in various fields of science with Dr. Ratio himself in the Intelligensia Guild. (Might not be entirely lore accurate, trailblazer doesnt go to Belobog)

Your mind brings you back to the soft swishes of water during your bath with you beloved. it had been almost 5 system hours since the last few drops of bathwater went down the drain, small petals being the only thing that signified your intimate rendezvous with the Doctor himself.

You shake your head, forcing yourself to pull away from the sweet, dream-esque scene. You find yourself struggling to focus on the task at hand, the smug face of Vertitas Ratio plastering itself all over the wals of your mind like the "WANTED" posters all over belobog's brick walls you saw during the journey to Jarilo VI with your old friends.

Speaking of the trailblazers, you had planned a small gathering with the Astral Express members in the evening, since they were visiting. You had yearned to see the faces of Marth 7th, Dan Heng, Himeko, Welt, even Pom Pom. You've heard from March that there had been a new member of the Astral Express, going by Caelus. Judging from March's bombarding texts of photos and videos, he seemed to have a quite....eccentric personality, but bore a kind expression nonetheless.

You'd adequately dressed yourself up after returning to you and Dr. Ratio's humble home, opting to switch to a fancier outfit. It was a speical occasion, after all. You loosely linked your arm around Veritas' very reluctant arm, walknig towards the round table where the members were sat.

"It has been a while, hasn't it?" Himeko addressed your name, and drifted her eyes to the grey-haired trailblazer to the opposite of you. Dr. Ratio narrowed his eyes, you slightly nudged him to get rid of that old habit, hard enough to get a small grunt out of him.

"Say, Trailblazer. How has the Astral Express been treating you?" You asked, watching as the gears slowly spun into action in his head, almost as if someone was controlling him through a game screen.(teehee)

"Well..I've been through lots of unforgettable journeys with the Astral Express, and they've shown me much care in a...familial way."

You nod your head, satisfied at the answer before you. You reminisce about your days spent on the Express. Whether it be happy or hurtful, significant but sad. A clink of the wine glass drew everyone at the old-fashioned western-styled restaurant's attention.

"Come on! Won't a handsome man just come up and sing along to this song with me?!"

The woman dragged Caelus' arm towards the center stage, handing him a hat. He gracefully donned it on his head as you watched in admiration. Since Caelus was younger than you, you had an almost...motherly love to him. But Veritas didn't seem to take it that way.

You clapped along to the rhythm of a song sang by the singing duo - composed of a random woman, and the newest member of the Astral Express. The soda bottles hopped in joy as the trailblazer returns to his seat. Ah, a livehouse, I see.

Throught the scene, Ratio's eyes trailed alongside your movements; every captivating smile, every clap sent to the trailblazer, every whoop or cheer sent to him, every---

Graphs and charts were buzzing about in his mind. His analytical brain was working at full speed. "What made him to be so charming when it was me that needed to be appealing?!" No amount of data or statistics could account for how much love he had for you in his heart, yet he couldn''t show it, and you were about to be taken away by--

"Veritas? Are you alright?" He had awoken to your soft touches on his face. He'd abruptly sat up on the bed that he once laid on. Pause. An epiphany occured in his mind, "You...the party...!" He tried to compose himself, yet his drunk-dazed (teehee) mind wouldn't cooperate. "The party went greatly, dear! Half the time, you were zoned out, just staring at some random poster about Robin and Sunday!"

Veritas' eyes widened. "I didn't say anything....preposterous, did I?"

"Well...only something about wanting me to be your super private secretary, and only yours-" "Ridiculous! Utterly absurd!"

Putting on his alabaster head, facing away from you. Looks like the Doctor won't be able to admit to his jealousy...

[tojisun]

I'm working on the playlist, adding more and it's literally just a mixture of 2010's pop and my emo shit bc it basically would be simon & bimbo!reader's shared liked playlist.

and as a slight added bonus: what if tf141 are having a night out, right? simon gets handed the aux and one of bimbo!reader's songs come on and everyone just gives simon

I LOVE LOVE THE PLAYLIST SO MUCH!!! the songs speak to me and im realizing maybe i have a lil bimbo!reader in me (yk like past all the hyperfeminine aspect and the part where she has simon wrapped in her pinky or smthn) or, and this made me giddier, i have the same music taste as ur simon??

ALSO? THEM SHARING A PLAYLIST???? im gonna be ill my god that is soooo cute

HAHSFHAHF ok but simon would NOT skip the songs teehee like? oh the squad isn't linked up with ayesha erotica? well, hes gots to rectify that!! they dont know the pussycat dolls? well thats all hes gonna blast now!!

lowkey think kyle would be the first to like them :< john's okay with bimbo!reader's songs because yk he's heard them from radios!! but JOHNNY??? he would be having whiplash until simon just plays scotland the brave to shut him up (affectionate)

[thereisnothingsweetaboutme]

tw: the contents of this blog will contain themes that involve èds, alcoholism, sh, self d3precation, and overall spiralling. this blog is not looking to trigger anyone who is in recovery from any harmful behavior or substance, or anyone who is trying to just lead a healthy lifestyle. I support anyone who is in recovery and I genuinely root for them. this is a place for me to vent, share experience, to pretty much be a diary for what I go through and a way that I cope with my issues. please don't r3p0rt, just block instead and we'll all be merry.

🐝

you have been warned. now onto the introduction 💜

hello!! my name is Rai and my pronouns are she/they. I am an '02 liner and as of right now I am 22 years old. My mbti is INFP-T, and enneagram 1w9. I was diagnosed by a psychologist with bpd at 15 years old and did not know until 18.

I previously had a blog called questionablekpoppie was sadly t worded, so this is my newer and sadder one lmfao. here's a fun little piece of trivia: my username is the lyric from a song called "Farewell II Flesh" by a metal band named Ice Nine Kills. That song (even though it's based on the Candyman story) pretty much speaks to my soul and the lyrics say more about me as a person than I could ever utter yk.

🐝

My interests include music (particularly kpop, metal, classical, etc.), playing instruments (the bass guitar, and french horn), exercising, cooking (ironic), watching youtube/horror movies, and playing genshin impact. If anyone reading this is into any of those things, feel free to slide into my pms and we can chat about them!! But I do want to preface that if anyone below the age of 18 tries to contact me, I will not be responding and instead blocking because I don't wish to interact with minors online! I find it easier to relate with people closer to my age that also deal with young adult issues. I won't be following back minors either. i also will not tolerate any form of racism, homophobia, transphobia, p3d0 behavior, or just general icky-ness.

stats as of 7/31/23

height: 164cm (approx. 5'4.5")

cw: 56.5kg (approx. 124lbs)

hw: 61kg (approx. 135lbs)

lw: 53kg (approx. 117lbs)

🐝

gw1: 55kg (approx. 121lbs)

gw2: 52kg (approx. 115lbs) → 🎁 $100 on genshin

gw3: 50kg (approx. 110lbs) → 🎁 expensive skin care set

gw4: 47kg (approx. 104lbs) → 🎁 expensive bass guitar + amp

gw5: 44kg (approx. 99lbs) → 🎁 new wardrobe

ugw: 42kg (approx. 93lbs) → 🎁 pc set up

🐝

welp! I'll try to update cw's regularly, and other stuffs. I hope that I can post regularly and keep motivation for my personal goals and if anyone (with the prerequisites above implied) needs support or just someone to speak to, please feel free to hit up my pms! I'm usually a consistent responder and enjoy interacting with people who have similar interests :D. I'll also be adding other navigation links ( like my personal hashtags for different thingies), bcs I wanna be an organized hoe. that's all teehee.

thank you, and I'm out!

me rants pretty much kinda edgy 🐝

food loggos 🐝

[wonstop]

fuck it. my rq is that uhhhhh,,,, please tell me facts about the 80s :)

^ Asks that make Cowboy, as a grown ass man, go "TEEHEE"

Well for one the shirt I linked in that fashion post was actually one of the most popular brands to wear in the 80s, which is why I sought it out. (Also: I had to search for the past term for seek. :( )

I'm kinda bad at thinking of things for such broad topics, but let's see, what's some fun stuff I know...

Well, I know personal computers first started becoming really popular in the 80s. Before that, they were machines that took up entire rooms and weren't something you'd find in anyone's home, but smaller, more public-friendly versions started coming into the market in the late 70s and experienced a boom during the 80s.

One of my favorite computers of the 80s is the Amiga, which is kind of a basic 80s computer to like, but... look at it!

It was pretty much, as far as I know, at least one of the best computers of its time, with a sleek, unique, and fast-loading system, a lot more RAM than its competitor the C64, amazing and vibrant visuals the likes of which had pretty much never been seen on a personal computer before, more hardware capabilities, better multitasking... basically it was a dream machine. The line also has one of my favorite UIs:

Check out how awesome these graphics are! The Amiga boasted games like The Secret of Monkey Island, Lemmings, Bubble Bobble, and the original Sid Meier's Civilization.

Of course, they went bankrupt in the 90s, after attempting and utterly failing to market the Amiga as a gaming console. IBM, Apple, and Windows were also coming out with computers around that time, with the first MacIntosh coming out in 1984 and Windows 1 (which was among the first to require the use of a mouse for input, rather than the keyboard!) coming out a year later in 1985.

LGR on YouTube has a lot of cool videos about 80s computers that I'd recommend checking out - he's also a lot better at memorizing facts and knowing things about computers than I am, lol. I'm not good at any of the technical stuff. In fact, I can't promise I'm remembering everything correctly here - I'd recommend looking into this stuff if it interests you, the boom of personal computers and technology in general in the 80s is really cool. But anyways...

Speaking of computers, the first music video to use CGI came out in 1985, that being Dire Straits' Money For Nothing. Check it out -

It was even referenced in an episode of a show called ReBoot, which I'd also love to talk about, but came about in the 90s. (There was some SERIOUSLY COOL CGI in the 90s! Early CGI stuff is SO AWESOME, it's so cool to see how far it's come and to think about how awesome it must have been to see something like this when it came out!) And with MTV coming out in the 80s too (1981), this probably made a pretty great impression and, I imagine, was one of the most interesting MVs on TV at the time! It's certainly one of my favorites, and in fact, I love the song, too.

The first music video on MTV, fittingly, was Video Killed the Radio Star, presented after the channel came on air with the iconic line: "Ladies and gentlemen, rock 'n roll!"

I could ramble a lot about the music and movies of the time, especially horror and practical effects, but this post is already pretty long and totally unrelated to this blog. There were a lot of technological advancements and huge cultural impacts made in the 80s that we see and use (or at the very least see the effects of) to this day, and discoveries made and researches done, and really awesome subcultures and fashions, like trad goth and skate punk and New Romantics my beloved and, and, and-- and th. And. The. And. And. 😍💓💞💖🥰❣️💝💘💞😍💘❣️💓💘❣️💗

[fff777]

Watched the WayV Nihao Stages for Phantom and Diamonds Only, and the interview video

Something very odd is that the Youtube videos I linked couldn't be embedded in Tumblr posts. All of them only appear as links when I add them to a Tumblr post.

It looks to me like Nihao intends to be like a Chinese version of Studio Choom where they focus on the performances.

Kun's mesh shirt bro. That's an outfit I would have expected from Ten. He wore that jacket over and expected people not to look underneath I think lol.

I don't think WayV's performed Diamonds Only in full anywhere else :o

I think Poppin Love is like Diamonds in that it's a B-side but I found it more catchy than the title track.

WayV was Nihao's first ever guest! :o

Lol all of them reading from a screen to describe Phantom and Diamonds Only

Kun, looking at Ten: What features of the dance can you point out to us? Ten, quietly: Don't do this to me Anyway, Ten said to pay attention to hands and claws :P

All of them going around and naming songs on their EP that they liked and Winwin was like "I liked Try My Luck because I did good on that song" and everybody else agreed that he did do well on that song haha.

The Chinese subtitles are white, and the backdrop is mostly white, so it's difficult read :/

Talking about how they needed to be careful while dancing with the nail guards

WayV was asked to demonstrate the dance and everyone was like "Let's go Ten!" and then Ten was like "well I do it every time..." and then everyone changed their tune to "Let's go Kun!"

LMAO the way they changed the topic so fast from Phantom to personal lives. This question is: If Leon, Louis, and Bella could suddenly speak, what language do you think they would speak and what would they say? (You can see what I mean about the text being hard to read)

Yangyang said that Bella would speak Cantonese X3 Probably because dog dorm has two Cantonese members and her dad is Dejun XD

Dejun: Yes, her mother tongue is Cantonese Hendery: Then what would Bella say to you? Dejun: dOn'T lEaVe Me, DoN't LeAvE mE (in Mandarin and then again in Cantonese) Dejun why are you so mean to your clingy daughter lol

Yangyang said that Louis would speak English and Leon would speak Korean :P

Next question is asking what food would represent each of them Dejun: snow pear Hendery: blueberry Sicheng: coffee Kun: dragonfruit Yangyang: strawberry ice cream Ten: red wine These fit pretty well haha.

Next question was asking about memorable styles they'd had in the past

Hendery said the princess party XD

Dejun liked the Phantom styling and Sicheng highlighted Dejun's skirt with pants look <3

Ahh next question was about the season's greetings they'd shot with crowns that had been a massive hit :D

They were talking about things to do during the first snow and Sicheng was like "hey I could take you guys snowboarding!" and then he was like "but dudes, I'm actually, like, really good at it"

LOL Ten told the same badminton story that he told about Hendery. Ten also met up to play badminton with Sicheng and it turned out that Sicheng was not good at it. So Ten is telling us not to trust Sicheng when he says he's good at snowboarding lol. And Sicheng was like "nah, I let you win" (using the Kong Rong giving pears story to exemplify :P)

Hendery's wish for 2023 was to grow even taller XD Dejun was like "aren't we done growing?" and Yangyang was like "naw we can keep growing until we're 24 or 25!"

Sicheng said Dejun had the biggest transformation for Phantom and I agree!!!!!! He's been finding his own style more and more as time passes :3

Hendery says he and Xiaojun are the funniest in the group X3

Yangyang said off stage he's 80% cute and 20% cool and on stage he's 50% cute and 50% cool :3 And he said it all while being very teehee cutesy

[thoughts-of-a-trying-tree]

I posted 163 times in 2022

That's 151 more posts than 2021!

12 posts created (7%)

151 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sarah-sandwich

@the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see

@shipskicksandgiggles

@thoughts-of-a-trying-tree

@innovationoftransspider-man

I tagged 103 of my posts in 2022

Only 37% of my posts had no tags

#fic rec - 36 posts

#parkner - 25 posts

#omelet fic - 16 posts

#the tree speaks - 15 posts

#marvel - 11 posts

#transferred tags → - 8 posts

#spiderman - 7 posts

#spiderlad - 5 posts

#harley keener - 3 posts

#peter parker - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#omg.............. i will write these................... i will........................... number six will make me scream i will write these

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

commitment to a fic is when you change your emoji colors for the characters and forget to change them back

3 notes - Posted February 21, 2022

#4

lmao okay this is such a me thing to do but anyway

remember the announcement i was talking about? yk, the one i never spoke of again? yeah so..... i have an ao3 account!! super exciting, i can leave kudos twice (more if i try hard enough) and its been lovely overall, but ive moved all the fics that i like there (a grand total of four out of... more than four) and from here on out, all my fics will be published there a little earlier than theyre posted here, which some of yall may already know bc i linked it on marry me (teehee check it out lolsies) and its in my bio but!! i fuckin forgor!!! to announce the announcement!!

toodloo, i just wanted to make sure everyone knew!

3 notes - Posted January 5, 2022

#3

writing is just ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new fic idea ooh a new-

8 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

#2

liability

word count: 836

warning(s): lots of angst, hurt with comfort, relationship issues, cursing, an argument

Read on AO3

-----------------------------------------------

Songs were something that could get caught in Harley's head easily, but conversations never stayed. They were too fleeting, too quick, and he was too spontaneous for them to ever even make sense, much less be remembered.

When he and Peter started dating, he tried desperately to hoard every word, to keep every cadence in his mind, because one thing he could remember were the lessons he learned and one he could never forget was that everyone left. He didn't want Peter to leave but that wasn't something he could control, so at the very least, he could make the memories stay.

And then Peter started leaving and leaving and leaving and coming back and leaving and every time he did, he would always remember another lesson he learned too young, the lesson that you have to leave before you get left.

It's like a song, that one cynical dance of words playing in his mind over and over, a background track to an argument he should've seen coming.

What the fuck are you doing to yourself? Can't you stop? For me?

It's not that easy.

You don't have to do everything you can do just because you can! Take a goddamn break, won't you?

I can't take a goddamn break, Jesus. Do you even hear yourself?

I don't think I'm asking for too much here. Oh, but he was, he was, he was.

You have to leave before you get left.

No, of course you don't.

See the full post

29 notes - Posted February 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

marry me

word count: 2712

warning(s): references to fics i've never written, cursing, dialogue heavy, and my brand of self-indulgence (also the word uwu is said. im so sorry)

Read on AO3

-----------------------------------------------

"Peach, toss me the wrench, would you?" Clang! "Thanks, and also the—" Clang! "Oh, yep, that's better actually." Bzzzzzzzt. "Perfect, marry me." Thwack! "I meant thank you!"

'*'*'*'

"Harleyyyy! HAAARLEEEEEYYYY!"

"What? Where's the invasion?" Slap!

"Pick your stupid fuckin' socks up! Tits and their respective gods, I have to do everything around here and there ain't no pay in New York Cit-ay."

"You could always marry me for tax benefits if you're that worried—"

"And pick your stuff up for the rest of my life? I would rather eat my shirt. Better not see anything in the lab!"

"Mhm."

"..."

"…"

Wham! "Harley Fuckin' Keener, why did you leave YOUR socks on MY stuff? Stop laughing!"

'*'*'*'

See the full post

62 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[myoeuvre]

umm...... pay this no mind i’ve just typed this stuff out like.. more times than i can count in the dms of everyone that i make watch inft and im tired of doing it over and over so im just gonna.. so i can just link this.. well anyway.

tbh this is just like. shit that i noticed and/or like personally speaking but anyway

my essay on why rymin is actually that deep

just gonna paste this one in here first of all. but anyway.

EXHIBIT A. the era stat being min and ryan's colors. blue for min who is stuck in the past and red for ryan always trying to rush ahead. meeting in the middle being the right answer in the end v-v

EXHIBIT B.  kez saying ""the colors are bold but the lines have hesitation" irt this painting. and whos palettes are in it? EXACTLY. need i say more? no.

AND EXHIBIT C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! episode 1: them and their palettes are separated by the door  in an incredibly noticeable way 

BUT in the last episode their palettes finally join e/o while they play on stage

LIKE everyone already knows theyre red and blue gays (the blueprint honestly) but i just am so in love with the way its shown in like. more than what they wear and is used thematically to represent them at multiple points. coughing wheezing... even their jumpsuits despite both being grey have cool and warm undertones respectively. 

Also just like the way in all these screenshots alone min is on the left and ryan on the right when we view chronological order in a left to right fashion this one is probably more coincidental but.. ugh...  ------

And another thing. can we talk about ryan’s cassette please? i wanna talk about ryan’s cassette. in the maze when min says “isnt that kinda the same as my dads van?” ryans response is one that suggests hes surprised min knew the song by mentioning his first album. so this makes me think “my dads van” wasnt a song they wrote together. BUT in the twin tapes when ryan plays it at the house party, min is shown playing it too on his mini synth. what does this lead me to believe? he listened to the cassette enough to memorize the melody and figure out the notes to play it in-turn. ------

Also so ummmm ryan’s family (giggles) five kids, and hes the middle child. shits doomed. he never even had a chance. and its not unfounded or like probably exaggerated on ryan’s part either. in the bug car when theyre in jail and ryan says its just min’s parents who would be worried, min just says “yeah…..” he doesnt say thats not true or im sure theyre worried. no. min is fully aware of ryans family situation and didnt bother for a second to argue it.

and in the gallery car one of ryans outbursts is “why doesnt anyone care about how i feel” bro this cant NOT stem from his home life. LIKE homie deadass has middle kid syndrome where hes used to getting his feelings shafted especially. but anyway teehee i’ve read into it more but i think imma just write my fic since most of it is speculative lol. ----

okay and also theres the queue car that i have extended thoughts about but the one thing in specific that i think about is like. how min acts in it. he makes me so mad i love him but goddamn...

just the condescending attitude but its so important to him that he be right. if its ryans number that means ryan messed up. if its ryans number that means min was right. if its ryans number that means min didnt make a mistake in giving up his dream. like he wants to be proven right so he can feel justified and not be hung up on the regrets he clearly had doing shit like playing his mini synth in his work bathroom. and as my friend said “ nobody ever does anything theyre normal about in the work bathroom“ spittin. fr. anyway stfu about them gay boys

------

AMELIA.

just a heads up there’s like. quick talk about implied suicide in this section but yeah.

what was her relationship with One? what caused One to get split in two? why in the turtle car when speaking in unison did one-one say its his fault cause he hadnt been better? how did amelia come to have a position of trust with One in the first place?

its clear One respected her thoughts. she is the one who influenced One into returning passengers belongings so that they can individuate themselves. she provided her human opinion to fill in the holes of Ones computed and inadvertently callous decision makings on running the train

oh book 5 how i long for you... but anyway.

this girl. had no reason to be on the roof of her college dorm after the death of her husband. NONE. we know exactly how important her time in college with alrick was because its the part of her life she wanted to replicate most despite the fact they graduated. this + in he ceremony her “yeah…” sounds really resigned as if she didnt want to be graduating (the beginning display of a pattern of being adverse to moving on persnaps….).  but this place is clearly important to her so it being the place she would attempt to take her life in grief makes sense to me. i also believe this was the intent of her being here from her saying im s1 ep10 that she doesnt want a life without alrick.

----

these are like. little details that i enjoyed a lot to contribute to showing how smart amelia is. like no one but her couldve taken over the train truly girlboss gaslight gatekeep amen.

amelias trick to play a tone into the receiver of the phone to control the network? thats what she does to control the steward. thats why her helmet beeped every time it moved or stopped. because she was issuing a command.

she implemented a fucking fail safe dude. she was not going to let anything stop her she was taking precautions. when tulip traps her in her tape, her helmet automatically starts to play an alarm. the steward not only ignores tulip but specifically goes to help amelia IM LIKE GIRL YOURE EVERYTHING.

----

i wanna. talk about the turtles. in s3 when amelia discovers that hazel is one of her failed attempts she mumbles something to the degree of “all because of that handkerchief" or w/e it was. “handkerchief?” you may be wondering? THIS ONE

after all these years she kept it. i can only be led to assume it was gifted to her by alrick. this is my gamer theory

-----

and about hazel irt amelia she is an attempted clone of alrick. shes not quite right obviously but she posses some of his memories even if she doesnt know why or where it came from. they exists within her almost innately her claiming she took dance classes? saying she knows amelia makes the best pancakes?

(heres a link to the other memories btw) haha.. ah..

----

the cat

these are like. the last two things that i think a lot about that probably wouldve been answered but real quick

i wanna know why simon is the only one who calls her that like she doesnt even introduce herself but that. hc that its because thats the nMe simon gave her like a child naming a pet

also i want to know why there was a negative connotation irt samantha’s attachment to objects when simon said “shes collecting again”

-----

okay but anyway obviously i have a lot more in-depth analyasis thoughts but this was like. more about small story telling details that i enjoyed. “why didnt you talk about book 2 at all” 🧍‍♂️ uh... i dunno. it started out as my fave book but its like my least favorite now after my 23rd watch of the show. i still like it but i dont think about it that deeply thats all. 

[queensdivas]

Peonies Chapter 1

soOkay so for those of you who didn’t know what the heck just happened. Tumblr decided to screw with the first chapter and not post it properly. Rude I know! 

So I jumped on my work computer and going to quickly post it so I don’t get in trouble. Teehee. 

Y’all ready for this though! I’m so excited for this one! The vocabulary that I’ve had to use is quite nice and fits the times perfectly! 

Next Chapter

masterlist

HERE WE GO!

Peonies a a charming lady 

She doesn’t like a spot too shady 

Likes to live out in the light 

Dressed in red or pink or white 

To Bloom brighter than the earth 

And to defeat all others

What is it like to be a Duchess who will be Governing a vast amount of Northern Italy? I’m not quite sure yet due to the fact mio padre is still ruling over the land and I’m being tutored in the fine games of politics. Oh do not get me wrong I would rather acquire all of the information of learning to rule rather than taking the responsibility too prematurely. 

Handing my reins to the stable boy as I began walking inside the Monastery to meet with Mother Superior Ani. I speak to her for council when it comes to somewhat major decisions in my life. This major decision is traveling to Russia and supporting Catherine in her new life. From what she has told me and what I’ve heard from padre. Russia is an absolute catastrophe. 

Something is relaxing about walking through the monastery when the sound of the nuns are singing. The beautiful art of the story of Christ, the only sound besides their songs are the winds blowing and birds chirping. Quite beautiful. Standing in the middle of the courtyard as I waited for Mother Ani to greet me for our chat. 

“Good afternoon Lady Chiara.” I was greeted by Sister Calderón along with Sister Grazia. The only set of twin nuns I’ve ever witnessed in my life. 

“Good afternoon Sister Calderón. Sister Grazia. I’m assuming that Mother Ani is finishing her afternoon confessions?” Asking them as they both nodded. 

“How are we feeling today?” They smiled as they approached me. 

“We’re going on a mission trip to Africa very soon!”  Sister Calderón cheered as Sister Grazia jumped a little. 

“We’re finally leaving!” Sister Grazia exclaimed as I smiled and clapped for them. 

“Congratulations you two!”

“I’m assuming they told you about their mission trip?” Mother Ani approached us as they collected themselves in front of her. Nodding and they scurrying off back into the chapel.

“They’re very excited. Mother Ani. I promise not to take much of your time today as I know dinner is soon.” 

“It’s quite alright. Shall we stroll in the gardens?” She asked as I nodded. As I mentioned before I go to her for counseling as she is the wisest person I’ve ever met in my entire life. Her wisdom comes from true experience unlike most men in the Catholic Church. We began walking towards the gardens so that we may talk in absolute privacy. I need her advice on my thoughts of going to Russia. 

“Mother Ani. What have you heard about Russia?” Halting at my question as I expected her reaction. Shocked and in confusion. 

“Why are you asking?” Sighing at her question as we entered the archway into the garden. 

“My cousin Catherine has married the Emperor of Russia and I’m quite concerned for her. She’s written some horrific things that have happened to her after only being married to him these past few weeks. He has punched her, killed her bear that he gifted her for their wedding, and even has multiple lovers. I know that’s very normal but that’s not exactly the way Catherine and I were raised. I think I would like to go to Russia and support her as she becomes accustomed to her new life.” 

“I say that is a very gracious thing to do for your cousin. But are you prepared to deal with the insanity of the monarch and Russian court?” I’ve heard some very bizarre things about them and I get this feeling Catherine should have some sort of noble ally. 

“I have been taught how to deal with any form of court and spoiled Monarchs. And being next in line to Govern these lands, they would not dare to lay a finger on me.They’re too busy with Sweden and if they were to kill me, Italy would align with the Swedish in order to defeat the Russians. So that’s not my concern. My only one being is to keep myself sane. Will you pray for me Mother Ani for a safe return?” We stopped as we faced each other. 

“Of course my child. When do you leave?” 

“In a few days. Mio Padre is sending me with a brand new horse and arms for self defense. Just in case he says. Needs me to stay alive if I’m to do my duty as a Grand Duchess soon.” 

“May God protect you on your journey and your aid in Russia. To think when you were baptized at Basilica di San Francesco. You would become this fair and wise over the years. You will make a beautiful Duchess of Italy.” Her words are always ones of great fulfillment. Always positive and never false. A little overconfident but there’s nothing wrong with having a little confidence in yourself. As long as you can control it without coming off as conceited. 

~~

The best gift to bring when arriving at a palace that you're staying for a few weeks is a vast variety of different wines. As a gift I’ve brought wine that has been sitting and aging beautiful for almost sixty years. Both sweet and bitter red wines that as I’ve said, have aged beautifully. 

I decided to ride up to the Royal Palace on horseback in order to make an impression on the Emperor when he greets me. Besides if I sit in that carriage another minute my legs and bottom will hate me for the rest of my life. 

Leading my carriage (which had my maid Fernanda inside) to see that the front yard of the palace was empty. They must be hunting or in the palace working on running the Empire. Pulling the reigns of my horse as we entered the entryway of the palace into the courtyard. Catherine was standing at the entrance as she looked radiant but yet somewhat good. We were practically sisters till I began my schooling of politics. 

Climbing down off my horse as she walked towards me as we both bowed to each other. Which left us giggling at each other to then give each other a hug. I have missed my dear cousin/sister and oldest friend in my life! 

“My dear Catherine, it is lovely to see you before me. And an Empress! Last time I saw you we were reading Shakesphere on our boat around Sardinia!” I cheered as we linked arms for us to walk inside the palace. 

“I’m glad you have arrived at my new home. Sadly..it is not a home sweet home. Not yet at least.” She commented as I nodded. 

“I’ve read in your latest letter and from a few reliable sources. I’m not quite sure how the hell you are managing all of this.” I’m finally able to show my true colors in front of Catherine as I must be proper in front of the family, advisers, and so on and so forth. But with Catherine. It is nothing but honesty and true colors. 

“The women of court?” Asking her I could feel her cringe. 

“Simple minded with their heads filled with emptiness.” We began walking up the stairs as my servant and others carried my things up the stairs. 

“Most of the women in court are filled with only air in their heads. Mother always said that entertaining the women of the court is next to impossible. But don’t worry. I am here and those women don’t know what I will be bringing these next few weeks.” We made it to the top of the stairs as a woman approached us. 

“Marial. This is my dear cousin Duchess Chiara! She will be placed in the room next to me and I will be telling her all our plans!” Catherine winked as she had a cheeky smile. Tell me what plans? What has she got up her sleeve? 

My room was not as big of course as I am a guest. It was a light blue room that had white flowers painted all over. The bed was very tall and extremely spacious with blue and white bedding. I think in England they would call this the Blue Room. A grand fireplace was lit that was also baby blue with gold trim. Come to think of it there was a lot of gold trim in this room which is sort of weird. 

Fernanda and those who were bringing my trucks came into my room as she took around my guest room. I took off my riding hat to throw on the bed as Fernanda sat down on one of the guest chairs. 

“It’s very modern. But I miss our home.” I nodded as I began unbuttoning my riding coat. 

“So do I already. We remembered to pack Padres guns right?” Asking her as she looked over from the chair. 

“Yes. I believe they’re bringing them up now.” She pointed towards the door as the rest of my servant brought in my trunks of different forms of weaponry. My fencing sword, regular sword, muskets, rifles, and pistols. I’m going to hunt some sort of wild beast that lives in this mad land and bring it home as a trinket. A Siberian Tiger would be a very nice trinket to bring home for la famiglia. 

Catherine came into the room with her maid in a very powerful march. As if she had something extremely important to tell me. AS in a life or death situation that couldn’t wait to be told.  

“We have much to discuss before dinner tonight.” Looking at Fernanda who excused herself. I’ll catch her up on the gossip later.  

“Now. I’m glad you decided to come and visit me. I have exciting news that I could use your help desperately with.” She pulled me over to the chairs as her servant stood next to her.

“I’m staging a coup d'état and in dire need of your help.” Not what I was expecting to hear in honesty. A coup? To think last year she was so excited to come to Italy and watch La Serva Padrona. And now a coup? 

“I umm..mamma mia a coup? Are you quite sure about this Catherine? I’d rather not see you dead. We have too much fun together.” 

“Which is why I have you. You’ve been studying how to rule a land and how to take the necessary steps..

“Catherine. I’ve been raised and tutored in Governing a land to be a Duchess not an Empress.” They’re very different in a weird way..wait why am I making excuses! But I should meet the Emperor to see why she’s forming a Coup and if he’s not as bad as I thought, maybe talk her out of it. Gossip from the court isn’t always trustworthy, obviously. 

“Let me experience at least one night with your husband..not sexually of course because that’s disgusting. I sadly can’t be seen helping stage a completely different country's coup. Might make a bad reputation for me.  But if it is as bad as everyone is saying. I’m in.” She nodded in my response as a small boy came into our room. 

“The Emperor requested your presence.” He told Catherine as she rolled her eyes. 

“Get yourself ready for dinner Chiara and make sure you take a drink of something. You’ll definitely need it.” Alcohol? Should’ve brought a few barrels of wine just in case. I’ve never had vodka and I know these Russians drink alcohol as if it was coming from their mothers tit. 

~~~

I’ve decided to pull out the big dress tonight as to make an impression on her entire court. The Duchess is here and she’s not meant to be tampered with! My brand new bright red dress that had white trills and designs all across it. I wore the royal sash that was given to me by King Ivrea Spoleto which was pearl white. My hair was of course up (even though it hurts my head a little bit) with pearls wrapping around my mountain of hairstyles. I truly don’t approve of it due to the fact that it takes too long to put up. 

“Do I look ready to impress an entire court of Russians.” Looking into the mirror one last time as my chocolate hair looked delectable. 

“From what I’ve seen going up and down the stairs of this place. You look absolutely stunning.” Fernanda commented as I smiled at her. 

“Oh! You need your knife!” Fernanda commented as I placed my right leg up on the end of my bed as she got into the bottom of my trunk. My grandfather's hunting knife that was given to him by the Queen of Chad when he first took reign. It was a beautiful sycamore that swirled at the base, the blade was a beautiful silver that shines everytime you display it. Even after all these years it looks stunning and deadly. Fernanda allowed me to put on the knife holster around my thigh then placed the knife in its holder. 

“Wish me luck for dinner. And I wish you the best of luck with chatting with the servants tonight for dinner. I’ll sneak you some desserts if we have anything that’s a pastry.” Winking at her as she nodded. 

Walking out of my room as I opened my fan as I waited for Catherine to come out of her room. I think Fernanda tied my corset a little too tight but not the first time this has happened. Though I’d rather be wearing pants and my button ups. Which will be what I wear when I’m running around the palace. Catherine came out of her room in a beautiful white, pink, and red dress that really made her pure white skin shine. Not to mention her blonde hair shined brightly. 

“Are you ready for the show?” She asked as we began walking down the stairs. 

“Not quite. But I did sneak a glass of wine into my room so my body is not as tense.” We made it down the bottom of the stairs. 

“So who is the biggest ass kisser of the Emperor? There’s always one.” 

“His name is Grigor Dymov. He kisses the Emperor's ass so much that he allows his own wife to be his whore.” 

“The second hand man married to the Emperors would be whore. If we are to do this I’m assuming we’re going after his right hand man? No. A much more subtle approach will be safer. Not that I’ve made my decision on whether to help, but I'd like to at least like to know your plan of action.”

“We’re first going after Count Orlov who has an understanding of the state of Russia. He’s a modern man who reads all of the famous authors in Europe.”

“I’m assuming he’s in the inner circle then?” Walking down the long hallway then stopping in front of the double doorway. 

“Yes. We're here. Just put on a fake smile and we’ll be just fine.” 

The doors opened and a wave of heat hit my skin. A mixture of alcohol and what smells like fish hit my nose as I wanted to just go back to my room. But I have to do this and need the impression in order to make my decision.

My fan helped me cool down tremendously as I was looking around at The Emperor's Court. To my right there were some women watching butterflies flying around her in a complete state of awe! They’re butterflies! Oh my goodness it is a show! There of course was dancing in the middle of the room that looked a little unfamiliar. I have to remind myself that I’m not at home and in a completely different country. 

Catherine handed me a glass of the clear liquid which is what I’m assuming is Vodka. Lifting my head back as It burned down my entire throat as I shook my head. 

“Heavens Catherine!” I laughed as she giggled. 

“Definitely helps.” She commented as we began walking further into the room then approaching the women with the butterflies. 

“Wow.” Catherine put on this extreme different face and even attitude before me which impressed me. 

“I am training them.” The women told us as she began coughing and gagging right in front of us. Holding her hand out to cough out two butterflies! What! 

“They do not all make the journey to a new land. Oh and who is this lovely woman.” She asked Catherine as I tried to not scream in horror. 

“This is my cousin Duchess Chiara of Italy. This is Aunt Elizbeth of Russia.” We bowed at each other as we sat down on one of the couches that was facing the fireplace. Which of course was absolutely grande with a large elk head hanging above it. 

“Let us talk of how you are.” She even had a butterfly drawn on her face! Talk about obsessions. 

“I’m quite well. Note my smiling face! My cousin has come to visit me for these next few weeks and I couldn’t be happier.” Smiling as I began looking around the room. Now where is this fat old man that she married and killed her bear! And who also punched her in the stomach. 

“I do! Has Emperor Peter also had something to do with this?” 

“He has been sweet.” 

“Oh. At heart, that is him. You know, as a young boy, Peter would run to his mother, holding aloft a picture he’d drawn or a boat fashioned from leaves, his eyes and words begging for approbation for love. And she would level a gaze at him and hold him in it, and he would fall silent and go so still. And then tears would run from his eyes, and his whole body would begin shaking uncontrollably, and urine would pool at his feet...it was a curious phenomenon.” Catherine and I shared the same facial expression as Elizabeth finished her story to us about Peter. So obviously he wasn’t an old man as I thought and was just a grown child who can’t stand the thought of someone not loving him. Have I made the correct character judgment through his own Aunt? Yes. 

“Why would she do that?” Catherine asked as I was also intrigued. 

“Everyone has their thing. Hers was cruelty. So I’m asking for some forgiveness, some empathy, from one I can tell is filled with both.” So he’s just a messed up King with mamma and papa issues. Quite ordinary in the monarchs. We began watching Elizabeth playing with her butterflies as a servant offered me a tray of tiny glasses of vodka. Taking one, drinking it then placing it back on the tray. A snap came from Elizabeth as I noticed a butterfly then landed on her finger.

“That is incredible.” I commented as she looked at me. 

“Indeed.” Elizabeth went into her own world as Catherine moved herself towards me. 

“Ready to meet him?” She asked as I shook my head. 

“Non..Non Catherine.” Grabbing my hand for us to start walking towards him. Pushing past all the dancers as I stood a few inches behind her. 

“Good evening husband!” Her husband was with another man as I looked down to see he’s in a skirt? They both turned towards her as he had no interest in speaking to us. 

“Empress.” He took a sip of his wine as his eyes drifted away from us. Why is he wearing a skirt? 

“You look marvelous! And your skirt, it is very pretty.” Why is Catherine kissing her own husband's ass? What woman needs to kiss her own husband's ass! He turned towards us as he flashed himself. Luckily it was all covered. 

“Thanks. It also allows one’s cock to swing free in the air. It’s marvelous. Old Madam Bolzoi whipped it up.” 

“It’s genius. I apologize if I have been sour face lately. I had my blood in, and you know how that goes..Rrrr.” An excuse that is older than time itself. But usually works because men think they're always being over dramatic during our blood. When in reality they are just horrid creatures. 

“Oh, right. I see. Well that explains much.” 

“But I feel much restored.” I haven’t seen this much ass kissing since Peter was kissing Jesus’ ass. 

“Who the hell are you?” His eyes drifted towards me as I took a step forward. 

“My dear husband is my cousin Duchess Chiara of Italy.” 

“Emperor.” Bowing in front of him as I then held up myself strong and ready to take on this madman.

“It is truly an honor to be invited here to stay in your breath taking palace. I bring gifts from my home being a beautiful batch of sweet and bitter red wines. In gratitude for letting me stay in your home.” Turning towards the door as about six barrels of wine entered the room as everyone began cheering. 

“I hope you enjoy them as a sign of peace from Italy.” Smiling as I knew Catherine would enjoy that little show. Have to make sure the Emperor doesn’t see me as a threat and the goal was achieved. 

“God you are stunning. Grigor doesn’t she make your cock hard?” My eyes widened at his statement as all I could do was just stand there. 

“Extremely.” He shook his head as I wanted to shoot him. Back home if I was to be talked to like this, the men would be beating the life out of him. I promise you that’s exactly how that happens. My sister was once insulted by an Austrian diplomat..and let’s just say he ended up floating in the Adriatic sea the next morning. 

“Tell me, great Emperor. What is the nature of this lively banquet? I've yet to catch up with the issues of Russia.” Everytime I open my mouth up to him, I can feel my skin twisting in regret and my tongue wanting to stop waggling. 

“We are honoring some of our wounded who finally won a battle for us against Sweden. Poor fucking guys.” Catherine and I turned our heads to see them in the corner of the room. 

“No eyes that one. To never see a naked women or a deer in full fucking fight again. Still, he may fuck ugly women and be happy now.” I’ve never wanted to slap someone so hard in the face! 

“Huzzah!” Catherine cheered as she looked completely uncomftorable. 

“Let us dance!” Swinging Catherine onto the dance floor as I took a few steps back into the crowd. Grigor I believe his name stood closely beside me as I noticed he was looking at me. 

“My apologies Duchess. I did not mean anything by what I said towards you.” Stopping the waving of my fan to face him. 

“The right hand man of the Emperor yes?” Asking him as we faced each other. 

“Grigor Dymov at your service.” He bowed as I turned off my fake smile. 

“I have no service for someone like you. The Emperor's right hand man who kisses his ass so much that shit must be stuck in your ears. I would pity you but being married to the Emporers would be whore. Now that is just..sad. Excuse me.” Walking away from him as I turned my head slightly to see that he was in utter shock.

We walked into the dinning room after the so called dance that her dellusionaly husband made her do as if they were drunk. Catherine and I entered the dining room as The Emperor kicked some sort of General out of his chair as he then moved Elizabeth out of her seat down one more. 

“The fat ass gladly gave up his seat. As no Duchess shall be seating with the court members. Greedy fucks.” Peter laughed as I smiled at him. What a rude bastard. But not completely wrong about the people of court. 

“Thank you Emperor.” Sitting down as one of the servants pushed my chair in. There were three glasses that sat in front of me at the table. One was filled with wine, another water, then finally a massive one filled with vodka. 

A dish appeared at me that looked like some sort of dumpling dish with a side of red..pasty soup? Grabbing my spoon as I poked it as it was meat? Beets? Both? Dipping my spoon into the soup as it tasted..well. The beets were very spiced with a hint of vinegar. The meat was especially spiced but has a sweet after taste. Interesting. 

From what I gathered about the Emporer. He’s literally a child that requires all the attention and love from every interaction he has with a person. Which doesn’t come as a surprise due to the fact that the Duke in Sardinia acted just like him, but he ended up jumping into the sea as he learned no one truly loved him. So once Peter realizes that no one truly loves him, maybe he’ll jump into the mouth of a Tiger. 

“Tell me Dear. I hope you’re here to bring Catherine happiness. And not here to start trouble between the both of them.” Her Aunt Elizabeth asked me as I took a sip of my water. 

“Well. When I received her letter about what happened between them..the bear and the punching. I care about her as if she was my own sister. All I’m here for is her happiness.” A butterfly landed on my nose which made her giggle. 

“They see a good soul in you and love it. I hope that you feel welcomed to our home, and it was a good idea bringing wine as a gift. Peter loves his alcohol.” She giggled as I looked down to my nose so watch the butterfly crawl around the tip of it. 

“Bring in those Swedish heads!” What? Is that code for a dessert? A servant took away my plate of food that I didn’t even finish yet as I noticed a tray was coming in that had hair on it? 

“We will eat dessert under their beady gaze!” Peter giggled as a tray was placed in front of me that..had a Swedish head on it..

God please forgive me.

My stomach turned into knots as I felt the little dinner I had was making its way back up through my throat. Catherine and I looked at each other in disgust as I wanted to run from the room, get on my horse and ride home. Now I see..A coup sounds like a wonderful idea. 

The pudding or whatever it was looked delicious but..I can’t..The vomit went into my mouth but I swallowed it back down then drinking my entire glass of water. Just breath Chiara and it will be almost over. 

“You rude fucker!” Peter yelled as he lifted his head up to look at his face. Standing up as he began digging his finger into the head. 

“Everyone! Poke their fucking eyes out!” He looked so proud of himself! Everyone excluding Catherine and I just sat there as the sound of squishing and eyeballs falling onto the trays filled my heads. 

“If you don’t he’ll kill you.” She whispered standing up with the man's head. Doing the sign of the cross as I stood up to lift his head. 

“Mi Dispiace. Possa Dio avere pietà della tua anima.” Catherine turned her head as I felt my eyes watering. A single tear fell as I dug my fingers into the first eye. The squishing, blood beginning to drip down my arm as the first eye popped out. 

“HUZZAH! DEATH TO THE SWEDISH!” Peter yelled as everyone cheered, drinking their vodka and smashing the glasses onto the floor. Dropping the head onto the tray as everyone began leaving the dining room. My right hand was covered in blood as my toes curled up in my heels from the sight. 

The dry blood on my hands was something I couldn’t stop looking at. It’s not that I’ve never seen blood before in my life..but when it comes from..a soldier who probably didn’t even want to fight..I hope that God is merciful to them. They needed to be buried and given a chance to enter the gates of Heaven. 

I couldn’t move for..I’m not quite sure how long at this point. Long enough that the servants came into the dinning room to start cleaning up. A woman with a large sack began dropping them into a burlap sack. 

“What will you do with them?” Asking the women as she looked up at me. 

“Burn them.” No..no. They do not deserve to be burned. Catherine came into the room as I stood up and wanted to scream. 

“I’m a Catholic...you’re an Orthodox..we both know their souls can not be saved..but they deserve some sort of burial. Is there a priest in this wretched palace?” She looked upon the dining room then walked over to the servant and then over to me. 

“Let them gather the heads and we’ll go speak to the Bishop.” The servant handed us the sack of heads as we began carrying them down the hall as she led me to the Bishops room. It was much heavier than I thought it would be. Never thought I would be thinking a bag of decapitated heads would be heavy! Knocking on the door as he flung it open in annoyance of being distrubed. 

“We need you to give these a Christian burial.” SHe ordered as I opened the bag so he could see the horrors of war. 

“I can only do a whole body.” He was about to shut the door but I believe the faces that were displayed on Catherines and my face weren't going to take no as an answer. I will send a rider to the Vatican if I have to in order for them to have some sort of entering the gates of heaven. 

“I could bless them.” The Bishop told us as I nodded in acceptance of the deal. 

A pound of thunder rang out as the heads were gently placed into the hole in the ground. Hard cold rain poured down upon us for Catherine and I to hold hands. We watched as the dirt was beginning to pile on top of their heads. I grabbed my rosary that I wore around my neck for my fingers to hold my cross. The Bishop went on reading from the bible as I softly spoke my own prayer. 

“Il Signore ti benedica e ti mantenga, mostrarti la sua faccia e abbi pietà di te. Volse lo sguardo verso di te e ti dava pace. Il Signore ti benedica…..Amen.” Finishing my prayer for the Bishop finished his prayer as he left Catherine and I out in the rain. 

“I want to rip the crown off his head myself.” Blurting out as Catherine turned her heads towards me. 

“A Coup d'état..sounds like a magnificent plan..”

Taglist: 

@mirkwoodshewolf​ @bonafiderocketqueen​ @filmslutt​ @leah-halliwell92​ @johndeaconshands​ @jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​ @radio-hoo-ha​ @i-have-a-wonky-eye-too​ @deck-heart​ @arrowswithwifi​  @stardust-killer-queen​ @the-baby-bookworm​ @actuallyanita​ @sadhwstudent​

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: TGWTG Anniversary Crossovers

I think enough time has passed where I can talk about these films without looking like I’m jumping on a trend.

Back when it was, you know, an actual thing, Channel Awesome would every so often gather together and make a big-as anniversary film to celebrate the site. The movies would always be these massive doorstoppers where everyone would be running around in Halloween costumes of whatever character they liked the most that fit the theme and fighting some random villain. None of this ever really tied in to their work, and none of this even remotely had anything to do with reviews. It was all just hanging around with friends and having dumb fun, and when I was younger I kind of just accepted that.

But certain revelations have made that dubious. No one was having fun making these. Everyone was miserable, except perhaps Doug Walker, who was just utterly oblivious to the plight of his coworkers. There was seedy stuff going on, people were pretty much being tortured and abused, and it’s a wonder anyone was ever able to feign enjoyment in any of their scenes. And looking back on these movies I used to remember fondly, I have to say… they kind of really, legitimately suck ass. These three films – Kickassia, Suburban Knights, and To Boldly Flee – are just legitimately painful and depressing to sit through, for reasons both meta and writing-wise.

The biggest problem with all of them is their humor, which is a pretty big problem when you’re starring a bunch of comedians, some of whom can be legitimately funny. The worst bits tend to revolve around the mind-boggling number of references they cram into each script; To Boldly Flee and Suburban Knights are much worse in this regard, as they have all of the actors literally dressed up as their favorite characters, but there are two examples of this sort of thing that shine as the worst examples of all. The first is Lindsay Ellis doing a Sarah Palin impersonation in Kickassia; Palin was such a flash-in-the-pan politician that it instantly dates the whole movie, and I don’t know if it was just bad writing, lack of direction, or what, but Ellis just fails to make this joke work at all. Like I know I can’t expect this to be as funny as Iron Sky’s Palin riffing, but still, it’s just sad.

The absolute worst, however, is JO in To Boldly Flee as Ed from Cowboy Bepob… at least that’s who I think he’s supposed to be playing. I know nothing about Cowboy Bebop and have outright refused to ever watch it because if Ed is anything like how JO played her, I’m going to fucking hate the whole show, Steve Blum and Melissa Fahn be damned. JO’s portrayal is whiny, hyper, annoying, manic, obnoxious… there’s not a single positive thing that can be said. His performance of the character is pretty much the poster child for just how absolutely awful these movies could get.

There’s also a lot of jokes where the punchline is basically just “this guy’s body/genitalia is funny, teehee.” Suburban Knights and To Boldly Flee have some truly awful examples of this, such as the numerous upskirts Doug Walker gets as Link and the infamous Spoony Dune scene. But even that isn’t the worst of it. The worst of it comes from the frequent states of near-nudity that Justin “JewWario” Carmichael would find himself in throughout these films. To Boldly Flee has him channeling George Takei and fencing without his shirt on, which is bad enough, but Suburban Knights has perhaps the worst scene of all, in any of these films, though only with hindsight.

For those of you not familiar, JewWario was outed as a creepy sexual predator during the whole #ChangeTheChannel fiasco. The guy groomed young women and did god knows what else during his time on the site, with none of his coworkers any the wiser and the management doing their best to cover it up; in fact, everyone only found out because the suits who owned CA made a huge blunder during their rebuttal of the claims of its former employees. With all of that context, please try and rewatch Suburban Knights’ climax in which JewWario helps save the day by revealing his penis to everyone. This right here is Keyser Soze levels of “uncomfortable in hindsight.”

The stories aren’t much better, and often fall into the same sort of issues that The Angry Video Game Nerd movie fell into, in that nothing in these films really showcases why we love the reviewers; Kickassia infamously has the Dr. Insano twist, as one example of how they botched this. All of these movies just feel too epic in scope and don’t really try to incorporate anything that we love about these reviewers into the films. Only To Boldly Flee really does anything right in that regard, as it throws back to everything from oneshot Nostalgia Critic villains to the Todd-Lindsay-Lupa love triangle to Phelous dying… the real problem is you have to actually sit through To Boldly Flee to see that. The movies go for these epic plots where the reviewers do cool shit like take over micronations (Kickassia), quest for powerful artifacts (Suburban Knights), or deal with extremely heavy-handed and hamfisted allegories for internet privacy bills (To Boldly Flee). You’d think maybe throwing a bunch of comedians into an epic plot like any of these could lead to some funny jokes, or maybe some sort of Monty Python-esque parody, but no, instead these comedians decide to revel in melodrama and try to genuinely act, with EXTREMELY mixed results. It doesn’t help that some of these people just aren’t even remotely funny when they’re trying to be.

Here’s the thing with The Angry Video Game Nerd’s movie, in comparison to these, though: it may have had this epic, ridiculous, goofy plot involving Area 51, kaiju, aliens, and crappy Atari games buried in a landfill, but the entire plot was building up to, and ultimately delivered on, the promise of the long-awaited review of the E.T. game. For all the film’s flaws, Rolfe knew what we loved about the Nerd, he knew what the fans wanted, and by god did he give it to them in the silliest, most epic way possible. Even if I didn’t love the film, the fact Rolfe knew why we’d want to see a feature-length Nerd film in the first place speaks volumes about how he understands that he can do what will make him happy artistically and still show the fans what they want to see.

These movies from the Channel Awesome crew don’t seem to get that at all. They don’t build up to a review. They don’t build up to them discovering the worst movie or song or whatever they review. They’re all very straightforward genre comedies where they can make a bunch of shallow, Seltzer & Friedberg-esque “Look at this thing that exists! That’s a joke right?” references. Aside from seeing your favorite reviewers in a goofy plot like this, where is there any bit of the reason you watch these people in the first place? Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if they were playing characters instead of them playing themselves, in their internet reviewer personas; at least then you wouldn’t be watching Brad Jones stumbling around in a Darth Vader helmet and think to yourself miserably “God I wish that poor guy was watching another E.T. porno.”

So there are some positives in these films, shockingly enough. Brad Jones is consistently good across the entire ‘trilogy,’ especially in Kickassia where he has the good sense to walk out on all the bullshit for a while. Maybe it’s just because these films got me interested in him, but I definitely think he does a good job. The same can be said for a lot of the actors, such as the bad guy in Suburban Knights and Ma-Ti’s actor; they manage to deliver at least solid performances in spite of the films. And then there are the James Rolfe cameos, and it’s just always good to see Rolfe in general.

To Boldly Flee, despite its reputation, actually has a lot of genuinely good bits. For instance, the distraction song is actually a really solid musical number. Linkara, Doug, and Spoony actually play really well off of each other, so when they have their three idiot villains team up they at least get some decently good moments. And other reviewers I generally like such as Phelous or Todd do a solid job, and frankly in To Boldly Flee Doug Walker does show some impressive dramatic acting… but it’s in service of a character who has previously been portrayed as a petulant, whiny, self-serving, egotistical manchild, so it almost feels like he’s playing a totally different character. Still, credit where credit is due.

None of these films succeed at what they want to. Ostensibly, they are supposed to be celebrating the site and the friendship of the reviewers, but as I mentioned, there’s no reviewing, there’s nothing that indicates what the site is about, and they all just come off as ego-stroking self-congratulatory wanking. None of these films were worth the pain and suffering that the cast and crew had to go through to produce these, and watching them at all these days is especially hard knowing that a lot of these people are smiling and joking through pain, stress, and abuse. It’s sick.

Kickassia may be the most competent, but that isn’t saying much at all. Aside from the whole Palin bit, this one has a simple, straightforward plot and is relatively down-to-earth, and it almost feels like it really was just a bunch of friends making a shitty low budget action movie in the desert… something sadly undermined by reality. Suburban Knights is probably one of the most uncomfortable to sit through due to jokes like Film Brain saying he’d eat Kinley Mochrie’s “pea-ness” (this was before she came out mind you) and the numerous jokes surrounding JewWario’s junk, but it almost works, like it nearly comes close to being a dumb epic fantasy comedy, but it just frequently shoots itself in the foot with the bad writing and acting and its overreliance on references.

To Boldly Flee is, to put it absolutely simple, a hot mess. This film is an utter trainwreck from start to finish. It is the Battlefield Earth of internet review movies, a bloated, messy, overly long dumpster fire with some of the most nightmarish behind-the-scenes stories and horrendous financial mismanagement you could ever imagine. But where Battlefield Earth is at least unintentionally funny, this film… is not. This film just makes you feel bad for everyone involved, it makes your heart ache for all the poor reviewers who had to suffer under the miserable conditions, it makes you question Doug Walker’s sanity in thinking he could turn his screeching manchild of a reviewer into some tragic martyr in a total 180 from how he had always been portrayed prior. None of these three films are worth sitting through, but I think To Boldly Flee is, with hindsight, the one least worth sitting through, which is a truly incredible accomplishment.

It’s kind of tragic. I still like a lot of the reviewers who took part in these – Todd, Linkara, Phelous, Brad Jones, and even Doug to some extent (though that’s an unpopular opinion these days) – but I just can’t muster up any forgiveness for these films anymore. And I don’t blame any of the people in it (except maybe Doug); most of them were there out of obligation or friendship or what have you. These films are just a monument to hubris, ignorance, broken friendships, horrible management, and wanton cruelty to those who called you friends.

See that picture up there at the top? With all of them gathered together like friends? God, how I wish that were the reality. How I wish that picture accurately reflected life, that they were all pals having a good time and that these films were something they were proud of. But behind that picture are stories all of them could tell of hurt, betrayal, resentment, anger, contempt, and some very unspeakable things in Carmichael’s case. I wish the sort of world a surface level glance at that picture shows you existed, where the crew of TGWTG all had a blast making these shitty movies together, because at least in that case I could find a sort of ironic enjoyment in them. But reality has gone out of its way to undermine any of that. 

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 105 - 101

105. Mariya Yaremchuk - “Tick tock” Ukraine 2014

Conform with the “GODDESSES ONLY” clause of their Eurovision contract, Ukraine once again have blessed us with an amazing opener (Seriously. First Melovin, then Eduard, now this? WE WERE ROBBED OF MARUV OPENING THE FINALE). 

"Tick tock” is a bit too elementary to put into my top 100, HOWEVER that is also why it’s such an easy song to get into. High (production-)quality Ukranian trashpop 😍 Which won Vidbir as an unintentional incest anthem 😍 (if you don’t know, the original version opened with “We belonged to each other, like a sister to a brother” Cersei Lannister is quaking.) 

Naturally, the main reason why Mariya ranks this high is, of course, the staging. THE HAMSTER WHEEL IS LEGENDARY:

Mariya casually flinging herself on top of that giant spinning contraption and torturing her poor hot dancer. 😍 I’d say the staging makes no sense, but then I realized Ukraine probably went with this act because it’s DIRT CHEAP <3 (which is funny as long as you don’t think about why they went with a lowbudget act 😭). It’s just so... honorarily Moldovan? 😍 Ukraine and Moldova using each other as horcruxes <3 Name a more epic ESC alliance, I will wait. Until then,

________________________________________________________________

104. Sanja Vucic - “Goodbye (Shelter)” Serbia 2016

... let us celebrate this glorious cross-over between “Molitva”, “Running” and “l’Amore è femmina”. 😍 “Shelter” takes the best aspects from these three entries and combines them into a increasedly shouty mess. As you can imagine, I LOVE this witches’ cabal of hackneyed hand choreos, shredded leather and facial gymnastics. Most ESC performers would keep their miming to the precise amount of what they need, but Sanja is (and has always been) so UNPLUGGED with her irate facial expressions. A reel:

Which, in a song with such a HEAVY topic as spousal abuse is actually quite appropriate. You show those awful shit husbands, girl!!! 

And you’d think that would be *IT*, but nope you’re wrong because :TEEHEE: I also think “Shelter” is a great song even without the messy misandry. The song is catchy, moody and highly relistenable. It’s one of the better mid-tier bops of this ranking. No wonder it got televotes from all over Euro-

oh. (🤣)

CONGRATZ BOJANA ON BEING THE HIGHEST RANKED SERBIAN ENTRY.

________________________________________________________________

103. Alyona Lanskaya - “Solayoh” Belarus 2013

HI 🙂 MY NAME IS ALYONA LANSKAYA 🙂 I AM FROM BELARUS 🙂 MY SONG SOLAYOH.  🙂

2013 is mostly remembered as the year of ‘splicing unnecessary dubstep into your song’, but there is another recurring trend which was even better. The ‘female performer enters the stage with STYLE’ and as far as stylistic entrances go, Alyona’s is one of the best. This emissary  from the planet Solayoh emerged immediately from her discoball-shaped Escape pod upon landing to tell us all the love and joys of her homeworld 😍

What follows is a lametastic banality anthem, riddled with ESL sentences (”We can make it into hot night” 😍.) and of course, a few iconic hand choreographies:

Topping off the hilarity is the idea of a well-off socialite such as Alyona Lanskaya singing about how “she had work hard all day :lip pout:” while wiggling her dress’s cerulean bossom fringes. 😍😂 Bribing juror being such hard work. <3 We stan lazy queens. 😍

________________________________________________________________

102. Sofi Marinova - “Love unlimited” Bulgaria 2012

DO REN DEM DEM DEI 

Speaking of lazy queens, remember when Bulgaria send an act that consisted entirely of a haggard ponytailed garuda wiggling her diddeys around like-a-so: 

I’m only a recent convert to the Church of Marinova, only seeing the light during my last rewatch and I mean, how could I not fall in love eventually? “Love unlimited” is such a lowbudget afair, a basic dance track whose sole gimmick is saying “I love you” in like 46 different languages. 😍 

As such, "Love unlimited” totally shouldn’t work... and yet it absolutely does? It’s a similar deal to Jurij, except the person taking the stage here is a lovably dimwitted middle-aged hagress who is completely oblivious to the fact that she has no chance to qualify and is giving still giving it her damn’ all, in doing so ALMOST reaching the final from a lost position. WHAT A TROOPER. I LOVE *YOU* SO MUCH, Sofi-Trophy. 😍

________________________________________________________________

101. Conan Osiris - “Telemóveis” Portugal 2019

A lot of people blame several artistic decisions behinds Conan’s NQ, but I’ve had my doubts even before the rehearsals began: this is what I wrote a full month before the semi: 

Conan’s main problems rise from the fact that he tries to be artistic and humorous at the same time, and the two cancel each other out somewhat.

(...) There’s a very high chance “Telemóveis” highbrow message will  fly over the heads of the audience and there’s an equally high chance it will backfire on Conan when it does. 

Portugal faces severe competition from the other acts. They compete with Slovenia for the “This Is High Quality” value-seeking vote, with Iceland and Australia for the novely vote and with Czech Republic and Greece for the “yeah this is actually really fucking clever” highbrow vote. He even competes with Serhat somehwat, both being OTT acts that are on later in the semi. 

It could very well mean death by a thousand cuts for Portugal.

SURPRISE, I actually got it right for once!! 

Of course, “Telemóveis” was less good in Tel Aviv than it was during FdC (people incorrecly blame the dress. I personally thought it was a combination of nerves, João spraining his knee and technical difficulties, much more than the dress). 

Anyway, even if he wasn’t as good in Tel Aviv, a lesser “Telemóveis” is still pretty damn great so idk why everyone was is tripping? The song was still a disarmingly weird acid trip of fado funk, snappy vocals and a bonkers choreography that left the average viewer utterly GOBSMACKED. 😍 It’s one of those entries where, when looking back in a few years, everyone will say was way AHEAD of the curve and that’s never a bad demograph to be a part of. 

CONGRATZ SUZY ON WINNING PORTUGAL!!! But moreover,

CONGRATULATIONS TOP 100!!!! K time for a little recap of who is still in this ranking:

Albania: 2 (Juliana, Eugent) Armenia: 2 (Aram, Iveta) Australia: 1 (KMH) Austria: 2 (Conchita, Zoë) Azerbaijan: 2 (Farid, DiHaj) Belarus: 3 (Litesound, IVAN, NAVIBAND) Belgium: 4 (Tom Dice, Loic, Laura Tesoro, Blanche) Bosnia & Herzegovina: 1 (Dino Merlin) Bulgaria: 3 (Elitsa & Stoyan, both Poli’s) Croatia: 0 Cyprus: 2 (Minus One, Eleni) Czech Republic: 1 (Lake Malawi) Denmark: 1 (Rasmussen) Estonia: 5 (Malcolm Lincoln, Ott, Birgit, Stigelina, Elina Netchayeva) Finland: 4 (Kuukuiskaajat, Krista, Softengine, Norma John) France: 3 (Jessy, Madame Monsieur, Amir) Georgia: 4 (Sopho N., Shin&Mariko, Nina S., Nika) Germany: 2 (Lena 2.0, Michael) Greece: 2 (Giorgos, Koza Mostra) Hungary: 4 (Kati, Andras, Joci 1.0, AWS) Iceland: 3 (Hera, Greta 2.0, Hatari) Ireland: 1 (Molly) Israel: 3 (Nadav, Hovi, Imri) Italy: 4 (Emma, Francesca, Francesco, Mahmood) Latvia: 3 (Aarzemnieki, Aminata, Justs) Lithuania: 2 (Fusedmarc, Ieva) Macedonia: 1 (Jana) Malta 2: (Gianluca, Michela) Moldova: 4 (Pasha, Aliona, Sunstroke 2.0, DoReDoS) Montenegro: 1 (Who See & Nina Z.) the Netherlands: 4 (Joan, Anouk, Common Linnets, Duncan) Norway: 2 (JOWST, KEiiNO) Poland: 1 (Cleo) Portugal: 1 (Suzy) Romania: 1 (Paula & Ovi 1.0) Russia: 1 (Polina) San Marino: 1 (Crisalide) Serbia: 1 (Bojana) Slovakia: 0 Slovenia: 5 (Maja, Tinkara, Maraaya, Lea, ZalaGasper) Spain: 2 (Ruth, Miki) Sweden: 2 (Loreen, Måns) Switzerland: 3 (Sebalter, ZiBBZ, Luca) Turkey: 1 (maNga) Ukraine: 2 (Zlata, Jamala) United Kingdom: 1 (Lucie)

LINK TO THE FULL LIST SO FAR (IMGUR)

[beccasafan]

Had these messages waiting for me this morning. Since I actually got up this morning without hitting the snooze button a bunch, I have a few extra minutes, so...

These came to me via Tumblr chat message, not an anon ask. The account doesn’t follow me, I don’t follow them, and if you search Louis on their blog there are a grand total of 0 results. Maybe a side blog, but pro tip I have anon asks on so you didn’t need to go to that extra effort. 😊

Why are u posting that thing about VNP's?

Instead just recc another one thats not Hola

We need to encourage people to buy Louis' music not put fear on them

Facebook and Twitter also use your data for bots and political projects

Oh yeah you are a larrie all of you want to sabotage Louis career and his life

Why am I posting about VPNs? Well, because the one a lot of people in the fandom use and recommend is very unsafe to use, and I wouldn’t want someone to be hacked or their computer used for cyber crimes.

Instead just rec another one that’s not Hola. Sure, so happy you asked for a recommendation! So the thing is, Hola isn’t actually a VPN. It’s more of a proxy. So to start, use something that is an actual VPN. I’d recommend checking out a list like this one, but there are others you can pull up via searching as well. For whatever you want to use, I recommend searching for things like “Is <X> safe?” or “<X> security privacy” etc and seeing what’s out there.

Facebook and Twitter also use your data. Yes, they do track lots of data. Maybe it’s just me, but I consider Facebook knowing that I’ve been shopping for cat food slightly different than my computer/internet being used for cyber crimes. 🤷‍♀️

I’m a Larrie... Well, I am a Larrie, so I’ll give you the point for that one. Here’s the thing though. You have to go back to the over a month before you get to a post that would indicate that though. Was it the link in my header that gave me away? 😂

... and we all want to sabotage Louis. Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but I certainly don’t want to sabotage Louis. I’ve been streaming the hell out of Kill My Mind on spotify and youtube and google music since it came out! I put it on the playlist we have going on the speakers at work, so all 50 people in the office heard it a few times that day. (It’s only a Friday thing.) I’ve purchased 6 copies of the song myself. Yesterday at work, someone came up and asked me what I was listening to, because it looked like I was having fun. Yeah, I had headphones on and was dancing while sitting in my chair and working, teehee!

In addition to what I’ve done at the personal level, I’ve also created and work with others on several fan projects. Bear with me for a minute while I toot my own horn, eh? 😜

Radio Request Database: An entire website I built (with lots of volunteers helping with the data, y’all are the true heros!) that has hundreds of stations/djs/shows from across the world so that it’s sooooo much easier for people to request not just Kill My Mind, but every single that Louis has! This has replaced my previous Twitter and Mediabase request generators, and between these have taken hours and hours and hours over the years. Mediabase requesting isn’t a thing anymore, and the Radio Request Database does Twitter requests, but also gives you contact info for IG, Facebook, text, phone, email, etc. Bit of an improvement over just Twitter, eh? Check out the RRD and make a few requests?

@ltcharts: People were talking about wanting to track chart status, and I knew that I could automate that instead of people manually checking charts all the time. Want to know when a song is on a chart / when that position is updated? @ltcharts will automatically post about it! Give @ltcharts a follow!!

@1dsponsorships: iTunes gifting doesn’t count towards charting, and I wasn’t involved in helping with the first fandom sponsorship effort, but I did volunteer my time to create an automated system for it. Why? I wanted to help fans that weren’t able to purchase the music connect with fans that were willing to gift them a copy. I wanted to help Louis’ music get exposed to more people.

...so no, sabotaging Louis’ career is definitely not something I want. I have been loving the promo we’ve been getting and I am so excited to see it continue. The latest interviews and articles with him talking about music? Yes please more of this!! Expanding his audience by going on the Indie show and articles that reach different people? Yes please more of this!!

And for anybody who’d like to interpret this as me hating Harry or Niall or Liam, everything I said about what I want for Louis and a successful career? Yup, want that for the others too!! Every project I do is for all the guys. RRD and sponsorships are for all of them. And @ltcharts also goes with @hscharts, @nhcharts, and @lpcharts.

[liquidstar]

10, 20, 30, 40, 50 teehee!

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

Well… generally speaking i dont think i have very complex designs, maybe some more than others but theyre usually not super intricate! Though I think sometimes the more intricate parts of my designs end up being hair-thats-not-hair, because that’s a design trope I love to do. I can’t pinpoint one specific oc though, since it’s several!! Sorry 😅

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

I feel like most of my ocs are probably average at singing, usually it’s not something I feel the need to elaborate on except for characters whose whole thing is music! For example, Viscaria from the atheaverse bc her magic is based on which instruments she uses as a wand. And Lyre and Aoede from the polarisvese, bc their powers are lullaby (literally jigglypuff powers) and soundwave (rocking so hard on the guitar that it causes actual damage) so, again more music-themed characters lol.

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

Aster did as a kid and it has too much sentimental value to throw away so she kept them all and is really defensive about it because she has to keep up appearances as a cool former knight and current teacher (she cannot let her students know her embarrassing secrets bc theyre assholes and will bully her abt it)

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

Oh i answered this one! heehee

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want

Lets see…… oh! A while back i remember i posted a character based on a design that struck me in an ai anime girl generator, and i decided to actually use the character in the polarisverse!

I called her “blue” at the type, but i ended up naming her Ran, from the star named after the norse sea goddess. She’s 13 years old, she’s a runaway who ended up joining the guild after stowing away on Vela’s ship, and she sort of became their adopted daughter and first mate on her ship (which is a promotion from stowaway). Her power is short-distance teleportation, it may not get her fat but it’s accurate! And her weapon is a net gun. I’m not changing her design so she still does not have a mouth, she signs to talk and well, if she wants to eat she can just teleport the food like that one scene from drake and josh with “henry doheny” lol

[woozi]

YZAAAA 🌸 <33 henlo hehe

fhdjjrkrkedn i was talking about this (hope link works jdjjdks), ig it's from when they were promoting rocket on a chinese? variety show ' idol hits ' idk much dhjddj

okay but speaking of bam, these days hoshi is reminding me of him so much. with the way he has been teasing & talking about jun's kiss scene like bam teasing jy 😭😭 im counting this as my gotsvt crumb djdjdj ( i still haven't processed actor jun HDDJSJSKSKSKSL this year has been so good to jun <3 im so so happy and lil bit in love 🤕) and yeah i get it the chorus part in teasers was hyped sm i was really pumped for it to go all the way. when i first listened to rwy, the !!! reduced to !! except for the chorus part jddjjd but i still love it as much as i love home run & l&r. (these have been my favorite tts after stanning. dwc, thanks & home still remain as my no.1. for me these 6 tts are it djjdhjs.) overall i'm very satisfied with the album and all songs but i would've loved it even more if rwy had similar vibe like good to me or getting closer but it's okay im not disappointed jdjdke, i get what you're saying.

PANG IS ALREADY ON TOP OF MY REPEAT PLAYLIST DJJDKDDK I DIDN'T EXPECT IT AT ALL. also 'to you' is really so 🥺💕 after giving the album few listens with lyrics i can't rank my favorite songs either, you're so right it's gonna be amazing to see dino perform! did you see hao in mv behind being like 'im not used to seeing dino be like this', also i gasped when reaction video cut to jun and hao's reactions 😭😭

someone on twt explained how rwy is very attacca like the way it starts on low then goes all out at once after chorus without giving song time to breathe between beats, this is very broken version of what i read. the explanation was very detailed i liked reading it but can't find it now :/ djjddk.

the performance really fucks <3 the footwork!!! lifting hao/hannie like that??? and the way jun/cheol kick?? also i really like the posture of joshua/hao on the other end of line after the kick. the crush performance too?? ( i have to say i'm on team no hats dghjh i really wanted to see their expressions, the low lights were cool but i would like to see the moves in clear lights dghjh)

"what happened to you" IM CRYINGGDHSSJSJJDK MADE ME LAUGH FR 😭😭😭 i woke up just an hour ago and was hit w conference pictures in my half awake state (BUT THE PICTURE OF MV THUMBNAIL WOKE ME UP FULLY HDDJJD.) and watched it as i was eating breakfast dhdjdkkdks. i truly processed everything in the evening ngl djkddk. what about you? what happened to you? dhjddk

calling me love 😭😭😭 im gonna cry noooo. sorrys are not needed at all please djdjdk pls don't be sorry <3 there's real life, other stuff and then enjoying stuff alone in your own time too so it's natural to not have energy for extra stuff take as much time as you want no worries on that part, happy friday to you!!! so proud of you for making it through the week <3

naur <3 your vibe is just the same 🥺💌 i love you fr <33 have a sexy and relaxing week mwah ( im back to writing 2k characters djdjdjjd cb really gave me energy )- 🪂

FIRST OF ALL, SHE'S NOT ANON ANYMORE <3 <3 <3

henlo ma cherie <3 CAN I JUST SAY THAT I LOVE UR NAME SM <3 <3 i dont think i got to say that the first time around teehee

ALSO OH MY GOD YEAH I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE 😭😭 i'm so embarrassed for the pd it must've been so 👁👄👁 to get vernon's reaction bc of ur joke 😭😭😭

WAIT I DIDN'T NOTICE THIS BUT U MIGHT BE ONTO SOMETHING <3 they're both little shits, lmao. AND HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA we finally get some actor jun content (im not sure if we already talked abt him beforehand????????????????????????)!!!! 'and a lil bit in love' U ARE SO VALID FJKGJKGFKJGF AND THE EMOJI MADE ME LAUGH SM 😭 the only thing i'm a little sad abt is that he lost so much weight </3 i hope he's okay and that he's taking care of himself!! even hosh was :(( about it when he saw jun. AND YEAH EXACTLY FDKJFJKDF ok but the way u get Things is so sexie omg ur brain <3 on that note... what would be ur fave title track if u just had to pick one 👀 ALSO OMG GOOD TO ME PT. 2 WOULD B VERY SEXIE INDEED <3

I LOVE TO YOU SO MUCH AS WELLLLLLLLL 😭😭😭 idk why it gives me uniquely svt vibes. does that make sense kjfdjkjdf i'll probably pass away the day he performs pang (probably this coming concert tbh FJDKKDJFJFKD OH WAIT NO JUNHAO won't be there so prob not </3) hao can't believe he's taking the eboy spot JFKJFDJKFDJKDFJ and i'd love to add to this but i actually haven't watched the reaction vid yet jFKFDKFDKJFD HELP!!

ALSO DONT WORRY BESTIE I ALSO SAW THE TWEET FDKJFKJF the way some carats put two and two together (abt anything really) amazes me a lot of the times <3 ok smarties we see u!!

THE FOOTWORK EXACTLY!!! the whole dance looks exhausting and im not even doing any work, just watching 😭 AND THE LIFT THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the choreographer is so smart for this <3 and the boys are so strong wtf???????????? even if it's just the 4 of them thats like,,, what,,, equally distributed it'd be more or less 20 kilos just on ONE FOOT????????? i get that they work out but..... INCREDIBLE <3 AND YEAH OMG I WASNT EXPECTING THE HAT CONCEPT FOR CRUSH BUT IT WAS EVERYTHING WE DIDNT KNOW WE NEEDED!!!!!!!!!!!! also agreed, would've liked seeing their faces a bit more too </3

FDJFDKJFDJKDFKJDF I PUT THE QUESTION THAT WAY BC A LOT OF THE TIMES PEOPLE GET INTO THE MV AND FEEL LIKE A TRAINWRECK AFTERWARDS 😭😭😭 ALSO OH MY GOD ME TOO FDKJDFJDFFDKJ an update blog admin waking up late for updates kjgjkfjkfd honestly,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, everything feels SO fast i still am not even past oct 22 lmao. feel like im just going on carat autopilot rn bc i've been so busy since a few days before the comeback 😭

ofc, u are my love <3 <3 <3 AND U ARE ALWAYS SO SO KIND WTF 😭😭 u will lich rally live in my memories forever even when i finally get the fuck out of this hellsite fr <3 THANK U ILY!! <3 and i love all ur messages <3 i hope u stay safe and that u have a week full of joy and comfort!! sending u the biggest hug rn <3 <3 <3