#spiral was.... very meh

[brainfullofbees]

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[rippersz]

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒕

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A Larissa Weems x F!Reader oneshot (for now) - Normie Reader experiences a very sudden heat for whatever reason and oh good lord Larissa is just so hot how can anyone expect you to work under these conditions… (NSFW: Vulgar, Breeding Kink, Shapeshifting Advantages, All that Jazz) (Larissa is just mentioned/imagined in this.) Am I sorry? Meh.

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There was just something in her that lit something in you.

A fire the likes of which you’d never encountered before. As though a flame was constantly flicked on beneath your heart, causing it to race, causing it to pound, causing it to bring the blood from your limbs up to your cheeks; painting you in a deep blush. Making you dizzy. Making you ache. Making you feel a type of delicious never-ending burn that seemed to spark the very moment you saw her.

Her.

Oh, her.

The same woman that made you realize that you wanted to become heavily acquainted with Lust and all of the friendly benefits it could offer. The very catalyst to your panic and your flush and the shake in your hands as you pressed yourself up against the wall of your shower and imagined it was her doing it instead. Oh how her hands would feel… how her touch would mold… how her teeth would graze and nibble and bite and gnash in ways that sent you spiraling. The muscles in her biceps flexing as she interlocked your hands and forced your arms up over your head, holding you to the chilled tile, making you shiver even if the water was hot.

It felt like the word ‘Please’ was on the very tip of your tongue whenever you passed her in the hall. ‘Please,’ you wanted to murmur to her one day, ‘Please, put me out of my misery and ruin me before I explode.’ Because that’s what it felt like, didn’t it? The strange pull in your bones, crawling up through your veins, invading your mind, it felt like you were being stretched taut and that no amount of self-assured pleasure could help release your tormented body. Explosion, at that point then, was imminent. And dangerous. You could barely concentrate on classes; you could barely pay attention to another person; you could barely think about anything other than her fingers… and her tongue… and those deep bottomless sapphire eyes - staring straight into your soul as you fell apart beneath her.

Some part of you told you that you were going through heat. That the very desperate natural human basic need for pleasure was just that - something a person experienced from time to time. Something that werewolves and cats and animals felt whenever that season came around. But you were a ‘normie’. You’d never felt that before… until Larissa Weems, of course. Until you sat down in a staff meeting one day and peered down at her painted nails and long tapered fingers and delicate hands, woven with blue veins and a wicked strength you’d never seen, and wondered what her index and middle finger would taste like when resting on your tongue. The thought still brought redness to your cheeks and drool to the inside of your mouth. It was just so terribly depraved. So desperate. So needy in a way that you wanted her to say- to tell you- to whisper in your ear while you whimpered into the warm skin of her shoulder.

‘Look at you… such a silly little thing… trembling all for me…’

All for you. All for her. All for Larissa, at all times, no matter what.

You knew that people were starting to worry about you and your actions - especially Larissa herself. She was your boss after all, she was supposed to pick up on any behavioral changes, and you had definitely changed. Without even knowing, you became far more introverted and spent more time alone than you ever had before. Though then again, most of that time was dedicated to taking care of the relentless throb between your thighs. Honestly, sometimes it got so strong that it interrupted your entire day and you had to find some way to ease the strange pangs before they got out of hand.

And you’d been doing a good job. Really, you had. You’d been taking the necessary moments to rid yourself of the feeling for at least a few hours before it came back - and that was enough. It was enough.

Until it wasn’t.

Until it began to hurt.

Until you realized that yes, indeed, you were somehow going through heat - and there was no one there to help you with it.

–

‘Good morning Larissa,

I just wanted to email you with a quick update and say that I, unfortunately, have fallen quite ill. I don’t think I’m equipped enough to handle my classes, and I’m very sorry for the inconvenience. Knowing this would get worse, I already printed out lesson plans and activities for my students. They’re all on my desk in my classroom.

Thank you - hopefully I get over this soon.

Y/N’

A quick email. That was good. You didn’t specify timing but that was fine. Your ‘heat’, for lack of a better word, had already been happening for about three weeks. If you were correct in your research, it wouldn’t be too much longer - perhaps a week or so more. Though in the long run, it would be a bigger pain in the ass than you expected. Already, your room smelled of sex and was so stuffy that you had to keep a window open constantly. And to get rid of the scent, you resorted to wall plug-ins and incense; they were the best you could think of on the fly. The rest of the issue - such as the air being far too hot - could only be remedied with a lack of clothing and many cold showers.

You supposed that was the best blessing during your time of strife- having an ensuite all to yourself. Staff were given the option to live on campus or live near Jericho, but you decided that ease of access was more important than living utterly alone. And, another plus that allowed you to let out a sigh of relief from time to time, was the fact that the teacher’s wing was very far from the students’. So any of the werewolves that wandered the halls wouldn’t smell you - as long as you stayed in your room. Thus, the email. And the isolation. And the constant worry that often came as an after-thought during your moments of… reprieve.

Even then, you truly felt you were going mad.

Tears often leaked from the corners of your eyes at night when you twisted around in bed, trying (and failing) to keep your hands from wandering about your body. You’d never experienced the phrase ‘instinctive’ to such an extent until that span of time where your searching fingers tip-tapped their way down the soft skin of your rounded tummy and found themselves drawing circles around your clit without thinking. Because it was all done without thinking. Even thinking was done without thinking.

Most of the time, your head was filled with thoughts of your boss. It was always Larissa. It was always Larissa and it was always her tall figure dwarfing your own, pushing you into a state of submission that you wanted to fall into anyway. She wouldn’t even have to try very hard - she wouldn’t even have to bend you over her lap and spank you red unless you came without her permission and she wouldn’t even- she-

‘Y/N,

I’m very sorry to hear you’ve fallen ill; please don’t worry about your classes as I can provide a substitute immediately. That being said, take as much time as you need to recover. I’ll stop by later today to chat briefly about the form you can fill out for an extended absence. Thank you for letting me know and I sincerely hope you feel better soon.

Larissa W.’

The ping of the email distracted you for a moment.

Good- that was good- your classes would be covered and you were ‘off the hook’. Great. Take as much time as you need mhm mhm… blah blah blah… stop by later today… mh-

Wait.

Wait, what?

You blinked, stared down at the lit up screen of your phone, and then blinked again.

She was… stopping… by? Later? On that day? When the clench in your abdomen was so strong that you were descending into sniffling sobs every two seconds? On that day, when you had just reached the point in which your fingers- the four you managed to fit and utilize- no longer got rid of the ache? On that day, when you were cursing yourself for never buying a fucking sex toy just for the Hell of it?

In your defense, you didn’t think you were ever going to descend into a spontaneous excruciating heat at any point in your life- but it didn’t really matter anyway.

Because whether you liked it or not, Larissa Weems, your boss, the headmistress of the Nevermore Academy for Outcasts, the main event of your wet dreams and sexual fantasies was going to stop by your room for a ‘brief chat’... and you hadn’t been clothed for three days. And your legs were trembling all the time. And the insides of your soft thighs were coated in slick constantly. And your skin was always overheated and sensitive and your voice was hoarse due to the amount of muffled screaming you pressed into the fabric of your pillow and your bed was very much unmade and your room smelled like a 24 hour sex dungeon and the blush on your cheeks had only increased tenfold by the time you sat up in your unmade bed, winced, and let out a whine.

Oh why had the Gods cursed you so?

Why had they placed a hex on your little human body and filled it with a libido that could only match the ferocity of dragons? Why did they force a potion of lust down your throat and place you in front of Larissa Weems and make you look at her with eyes of dark desire? Why did they place the image of her sloping hips and long legs and thick thighs in your mind and poison you with dreams that followed you into the waking world?

Why did you want her so badly?

Why did you yearn for her touch and why did you want her smell enveloping your body and why- oh god why- did you want to kiss her so often? Why did you want her to take care of you? Why did you want her of all people! to take you to bed and make you see stars? Why did you want red lipstick covering your skin and why did you want your face between her thighs and why did you want to feel her come apart beneath you? Why did she drive you wild? Why did she force you into a state of fluster that you could only pull yourself out of when you were alone?

Why did she plague you?

“I can’t do this…,” you suddenly confessed to no one in particular as you let out a sigh.

The fire had dulled to a simmer long enough for you to stand and slowly make your way to the bathroom.

Pain experienced during heat, you came to find, was far different than any other pain. It was like you felt empty - utterly disgustingly empty - and your body hated that. It rebelled. It made your abdomen, your fucking womb, feel hot. And after the heat, it began to ache. Like you were sitting on the edge of an orgasm and you needed that extra push- that extra kiss- that extra lick of praise- to send you tipping off the edge into an ocean of bliss…. But you couldn’t have it. The push, the kiss, the praise wasn’t there. Nor was the thrust of strong hips, or the scratch of fingernails, or the hissed growl of dominance in your ear. None of it. And your body knew that, so it made you clench and unclench constantly; and it punished you for your negligence and made your clit extra sensitive and your nipples hard and eager to be teased and your skin- oh your poor skin- was practically begging for someone to touch it. To mark it. To hold it and squeeze it and bite it and make it theirs.

Make it hers.

Goodness, you were pathetic. The fog that fell over your mind whenever you thought of Larissa was so hypnotizing that once your thoughts got going, they couldn’t stop.

‘Think of her,’ the strange lustful monster within you hissed, ‘Think of her and all of the sinful things she could do to you. Think of her hands pulling your hair, think of her warm thighs straddling your waist, think of her tongue running itself along your neck… and down your chest… and lower and lower… lower… pooling with drool and letting it drip-drop onto your cunt… licking at your clit…’

A whimper slipped past your lips as soon as you stepped into the water of your shower.

The heat was both soothing and torturous, doing you no favors as it instantly glazed the top of your mind; normally you’d prefer to make it cold to put a damper on your libido, but the need to get off yet again overpowered any lingerings of common sense.

But really, if you were being honest with yourself, there was no common sense during ‘heat’. At all. You figured that out rather quickly when, on the fourth day of wanting to be fucked mercilessly, you began entertaining thoughts of breeding. Of course you didn’t want a child. But the thought… the thought… of such warmth in you… filling what was always so painfully empty… of someone- of her- holding you down and breeding you full, growling that you were to be hers forever, was something that had you cumming in under five minutes. You simply couldn’t help it. And ever since that thought, it was as though you crossed into the dark side. All kinds of kinks and experiments filtered into your horny little brain, and all you could do to keep yourself from going crazy was to keep orgasming until your fingers could barely move.

It was the worst experience of your life…

…when you weren’t sitting on the built-in shower stool and thrusting three fingers into yourself, imagining Larissa watching you from beyond the glass. It was terrible except for when you pictured her telling you to go faster, to slow down, to take your fingers out completely and spread your folds wide so she could coo over how cute you looked when your cunt ached for her touch. It was maddening while you weren’t fantasizing about her stepping into the shower with you- all 6 feet, 3 inches of her- and threading her perfect hand in your hair and pressing you to her venus mound and making you kiss it until you came around your own fingers. Then making you stick your tongue out and look up at her as she slowly rolled her hips, coating you in a taste you knew you’d never ever get tired of.

Maybe even… oh god… maybe even shifting that part of herself and surprising you by sliding the head of her cock into your mouth and making you worship her until you forgot your own name. Running your eager tongue along the hot veins… peering up through your eyelashes as she slowly- slowly- craned her head back and let out a deep bone-shaking groan… Unable to help herself as she pushed you down just a bit more, slowly making that ‘pretty mouth of yours’ (as she called it) take as much of her as it could.

“There… yes, right there darling…” You could practically hear her words, as if she were with you, while your eyes rolled back and your other hand came up to rub furiously as your clit.

Unfortunately, even as you sat there and felt the prickling wave of heat wash over your body, clenching tightly around your own fingers while you orgasmed, you knew that it wouldn’t be enough. You knew that the water running down your face was mixed with frustrated tears. You knew that no climax you reached all by yourself would ever be able to properly satiate your body and every thing it was feeling. After all, a ‘normie’ was not supposed to experience ‘heat’ - and your mind was already so close to breaking all by itself.

It was just a shame that Larissa wasn’t there to snap it in half for you.

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This was just a quick exercise - I want to better my smut writing abilities. New updates soon and all that. Any thoughts on a Part 2? - Ripley x

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[mixelation]

reborn au thoughts on [plasticity SPOILERS]

so i mentioned this big-ish spoiler is another post, but, at some point in the near-ish future of plasticity, tori will learn she functionally can't die. so some ways i want to play with this in reborn au include:

i think interacting with the shinigami should have consequences. i think it should be an experience that makes you confront your own mortality. i WISH i'd decided this slightly earlier bc i would have writtent the scenw ith tori, obtio, and zetsu slightly differently. but. meh.

anyway!! i also decided that seeing the shinigami is what really pushed orochimaru over the edge in his obsession with immortality. and tori obviously is interested in shinigami-related jutsu because in mutagenicity, she would like to know if she's still immortal or not. so i want to him and tori to have a few conversations about the shinigami, edo tensei, etc and have him be very dramatically be like "this will CHANGE YOU FOREVER" while tori is like "#not like other girls"

she also has a bizarre relationship with her own mortality. "That ninja could kill you in his sleep, tiny genin" COULD he, though? sure he could MAIM her, but---

i think the eventual fallout with danzo involves team 4 very carefully maneuvering him to summon the shinigami. it's very much itachi being like "we have to use force to make him do what we want" while tori is like "no no, if we just offer him what he wants, he'll go for it and perish under his own hubris." but their powers COMBINED they can back him into a desperate little corner where he thinks he can make a power grab this way <3

(something i need to pepper in more is i want the danzo-minato dynamic to be super tense. minato tried to force him into retirement and danzo was like NO and now danzo is constantly undermining him. he thinks minato's leadership style is too weak/forgiving and he let other shinobi villages take too much in their peace treaties. so itachi SORT OF has minato's blessing to just get rid of him, but also all those conversations were incredibly oblique and minato never officially was like "oh yeah, murder." he thought itachi meant he had a way to distract him. T_T)

anyway! so i think this does get kind of out of tori's hands and danzo attempts to feed her to the shinigami. and it just. it does NOT work. so the shinigami takes him and everyone else nearby instead.

tori trying to explain how she's still alive: okay well CLEARLY he didn't have very good control of the jutsu. i just got lucky, i guess?

and everyone has to accept this as the explanation because there is no other logical explanation. and even then tori is obviously linked to danzo's sudden spiral into bad decisions and death, no one can prove a causal link, because he did all that shit himself. what could tori have possibly done? she was restrained, and knowing her track record, her chakra was shut down somehow.

and now tori knows she's still an immortal freak!!! also this does wonders for itachi's opinion of her

[whinlatter]

ask game -- ginny and seamus, harry and tonks , ron and sirius, hermione and neville

gorgeous options for the characters and dynamics ask game, thank you anon 🤙

ginny and seamus: seamus hated ginny for years. he did NOT want to believe that man-stealing harlot had good craic. ginny, on the other hand, was vaguely aware there was an irish guy around sometimes. then they fought in the DA together under the carrows and seamus had to begrudgingly accept she is actually exceptionally good vibes and ginny had to learn his name. and then they became good mates and ginny ships deamus like it’s her job and they have a lovely rewarding funny friendship which is only partly based on their shared acute mummy issues

harry and tonks: the fact that harry sort of thinks tonks is fine but low key annoying is an extreme source of amusement for me. other characters like tonks a lot but harry’s like - meh! she literally has his dream job and he’s unimpressed. when she’s introduced in canon his grouchy narration is like, can you stop fucking knocking things over? and then when she does up lovelorn over lupin in HBP he’s actively pissed off that she’s not very helpful lmao. gossiping about her to hermione like, ew is tonks in love with her cousin? huge ick if so. i know sirius was fit but come on. also when tonks shows off her wedding ring and harry yelps ‘you got MARRIED?!’ like ok judgy judgerson! you know when he had to step in to fix tonks and lupin’s marriage that the boy was tired

ron and sirius: ok i think about this one too much. but one of my favourite things about ron and sirius is that while ron really respects sirius, he doesn’t think the sun shines out of his arse like harry does, and worries about sirius as someone self destructive that harry reveres in a slightly troubling way. at the end of the day, ron more closely aligns with hermione’s view of sirius than harry’s, and that’s visible in their dynamic: friendly, but restrained. i think sirius thinks highly of ron and is kind to him, but he’s singularly focussed on harry, and not hugely interested in building a relationship with harry’s mates (and, obviously, he clashes more openly with hermione, and ron rides hard for his lady at all times). i think sirius sees ron and harry’s dynamic as something very different to his and james’, because ron doesn’t enable harry and the two of them aren’t troublemakers in cahoots, and that makes him feel a bit blah (because he senses, a bit guiltily, that harry and ron are more mature than he was at their age, and that ron looks after harry in a way that reminds sirius of the guardians that have been missing in his childhood)

hermione and neville: neville's first crush one hundo. hermione had to let him down easy i am convinced of it. neville makes a joke about it at romione’s wedding and sends ron spiralling when he realises that all of the occupants of his dorm bar seamus at some point either wanted to bang his sister or his wife

[turquoisemagpie]

2023

CONs

- Cost of living has been a squeeze for sure. I’m coasting along fine for now, but seeing my close friends and others struggle so much has steeled my certainty that this cannot go on.

- My country is still under an embarrassment of a government, and a looming election next year doesn’t give much confidence that anything will change even with a new party.

- Wars, discrimination, human rights violations, classism, austerity, climate change, Covid: the Sequel, and every other lesser known apocalyptic horseman under the sun. — on the plus side, seeing so much public outcry from the everyday people and actual physical action for justice, fairer living, and a better world has given me so much hope that something big is coming. “Hope lies in the proles.”

- I had a physical and mental health downward spiral that has put me on medication for GAD and depression for the first time (probably should have got all this sorted out earlier, but oh well, you live and learn)

- I lost a couple grandparent family members, their passing causing the rest of us to dig deeper into our family’s past before it’s gone. Very bittersweet.

PROs

- I met another DnD friend in person and went to a lot of cool places with them, meeting up with other friends along the way and just having a good time.

- I connected with my family more. I took more trips to visit my brother and see his music take off in his town, I got a lot more confidence to go to family gatherings and catch up with cousins in actual conversation.

- I’ve made new great friends and taken more opportunities than my previously introverted arse would permit.

- I rediscovered the Divine Comedy, finally finding a music genre I love (chamber pop/rock).

- I read a lot more books. Some good, some really good, some re-readable, a few ‘meh’ ones that I’m happy to come back to when I’m in a new mindspace.

- My art has morphed into a style I’m comfortable with, to the point where I’m happy experimenting with more ideas and subjects with confidence.

- My friends and mutuals have made me proud too many times to count. So many of them diving into something new, taking chances, taking charge, making something great for themselves and those around them. Great job guys!

- I have my name published in a comic! ‘Creative Director’ of BadEgg’s ALTRVERSE - not bad! Certainly didn’t think I’d have my name published in something yet, so a nice little bonus.

- I have been trying new creative paths. Writing has taken up more of my attention; I’ve written a few short stories, built a couple narrative worlds, and dove into poetry. I’ve been eyeing sewing and needlework recently, so I’ll see where that goes.

A busy year, a light-in-the-darkness year, a hope(less/full) year. An interesting one for sure.

See what next year brings. :)

[pharawee]

hi i'm so very sorry for this but i have a question, from your Pit Babe novel retelling posts i got the vibe that in the novel Babe very much hates the idea of having kids, enough to become an alphasexual. but in the show he uhhhhh is into it? he doesn't refuse it and giggles cutely when being called a fucking mama?? so like. is this aspect of the show very different from the novel, or are they similar from your point of view?? did the show change this part or

Hii, don't be sorry! This is actually something I've been thinking about a lot because in the novel Babe is positively mortified by the idea of having kids. His whole childhood (and the idea of Tony auctioning off him or his kids or any kids for that matter) was so traumatising that he under no circumstances wants to bring children into this world. This is why he won't sleep with anyone with a womb and I guess prefers alpha males instead.

Later there's a moment when Babe believes Charlie to be the enigma and the thought of maybe already being pregnant with his child makes him sick. The way he thinks about it borders on body horror. His whole world spirals. It genuinely reads like he has a severe panic attack about it until Charlie tells him the truth.

And even after everything's cleared up and Tony is gone Babe is still pretty clear on not wanting kids. Charlie accepts this (as opposed to Way whose whole plan was to change Babe's mind about it later on).

I haven't read the novel's special chapters yet but I really hope Babe's stance on children won't change because it makes so much sense and it's actually refreshing to read.

This is also why I'm kind if meh on how the series handles things because imo this is such an important part of who Babe is as a characterr. It also proves how different Charlie and Way are in the way they love (or claim to love) Babe: Charlie accepts and supports Babe. His love is selfless. Meanwhile, Way just wants to change his mind. Way's love is self-serving.

.

Also, I really really love your gifs. 💜💜

[scryarchives]

𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 - 𝐣𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐

khaji-da mentioned something about the new girl 'drea' being dangerous, but what did she mean by 'dangerous'? and how dangerous could she be if she's best friends with his very own sister?

masterlist | previous , next !

– pairings: jaime reyes x oc

– warning: fluff, canon divergent, blue beetle movie spoilers

– author's note: more of a filler chapter haha. disclaimer: i don't speak Spanish, so please do correct me if i am wrong! read more under the cut! :)

A couple of weeks had passed since the Tlatilpas had come over to the Reyes household. Unfortunately, Anika (or as she asked Jaime to call her “Aunt Anika”) was the only one over as her wife Zara had been too exhausted from the drive to Palmera City.

As nice as their family was from what he gathered, Jaime couldn’t help but let what Khaji-Da told him that day weigh his mind down. He sat on his bed, laptop open on the plush bed sheet as he gnawed the end of his pencil, brows furrowed in thought and confusion.

What did she mean by ‘she’s dangerous’? Did Khaji mean Drea specifically? Or her entire family?

“This ‘Drea’ you worry about, she’s the dangerous one.”

Jaime rolled his eyes. Of course, the blue bug alien bonded to him and responded to him when everything was peaceful and quiet in his home.

“Okay, you’ve said that already, but a little specifics would be nice,” He shrugged sarcastically at the little robotic voice in his head. “I mean, dangerous how? Does she have connections to harmful people? She’s got machinery that can endanger us? What–”

“I scanned her DNA while you were shaking hands,” Khaji-Da cut Jaime off, the male glaring incredulously at the voice.

“First off, we need to set some boundaries, Khaji. You can’t keep scanning all these people without my acknowledgement. It’s creepy and overall weird. Second, how would that make her dangerous? She’s human too.”

“Incorrect.”

“What? You’re saying I’m wrong about scanning people being inappropriate–”

“She’s not one hundred per cent human,” Khaji-Da answered once more, this time, her answer left Jaime on edge. 

“She’s approximately fifty per cent alien.”

“Milagro! What’s up? How’s my favourite Reyes doin’?” Drea chuckled, her dark waves bouncing behind her in her high ponytail. The bracelets on her wrists ‘clinked’ together as she and the youngest Reyes high-fived, grins wide on their faces.

“¡Soy bien! You?”

The two shared a handshake, and despite their fast friendship, they got along well, like two peas in a pod.

“Meh, could be better,” She chuckled, rubbing her upper arm. “My Amma had a whole list of chores for me to do, so my arms are completely wiped out.”

“Ah man, I get you,” Milagro scoffed, nudging shoulders with her best friend. “Hey, you wanna come in? I’m sure we got something we could watch together.”

“Yeah, of course! Oh, by the way,” Milagro perked up, seeing Drea halt. “I almost forgot, Amma made some snacks a few days ago, so she asked me to bring some to you.”

It was then that Milagro realised that Drea was carrying a backpack and the Latina walked over to help hold the item up as Drea pulled out a little transparent container with a red twist-on lid.

“It’s more of a traditional snack from her home town? Country? One of those,” The older woman shrugged. “It’s called murukku, not sure if you’ve heard of it, but it’s one of my favourites. Vadai’s a close second.”

Milagro hummed at the spiral-looking snack, smiling kindly at her friend.

“Aw, look at you all soft for me! I’m gonna hide this in my room forever so that no one else in my family will ever take a bite,” She grinned before it fell. “Actually, better not. My mom is gonna kill me if she finds food in my room.”

“Oh, I know how that feels,” Drea chuckles, the two walking into the Reyes’ humble abode.

“Mom! Drea’s here!” Milagro called out, the woman smiling sweetly the moment Bianca entered her view.

“Hi, Mrs Reyes! Thanks for having me over,” She pulls her bag over one shoulder in slight nervousness, Bianca smiling widely at the girl.

“Oh, it’s no problem, Drea! It’s always wonderful to have a friend of Mili’s over!”

“Her mom made us snacks. No one touches it before I do, please,” Milagro huffed, placing the transparent container on the table as her mom eyed the snack curiously.

“Alright, mija, but there’s no controlling the rest of the family,” Bianca laughed, Milagro rolling her eyes with both love and annoyance as she led her friend towards her little room.

“Did you know I found a stray the other day? Surprisingly, both my moms let me keep him,” Drea whispered to Milagro, hoping to distract her.

“Oh seriously? What’d you name him?” Milagro looked over at Drea in slight surprise. 

“Sparky von Cocoa the First, but Sparky’s just for short.”

“I need pictures of him. ASAP.”

“Hey Mils, you hungry?” Drea glanced over at Milagro, seeing her friend lying beside her, stomach flat on the bed as her eyes were still glued to the computer, invested in the series the Latina was introduced to named “Never Have I Ever”.

“Uh… I could get a drink, do you want one?” Milagro raised her eyebrows, glancing up at Drea, who shook her head.

“Nah it’s fine, I can get it. You’re too invested to miss anything,” Drea teased, pushing herself up from her cross-legged position. “And I’ve already watched all the episodes up to date, so I’m good.”

“Wow, you do not have a life.”

“I know I don’t,” Drea chuckled, opening her best friend’s room door, and walking out into the corridor.

As soon as she turned around, she noticed that she was face to face with the other Reyes descendent, Jaime’s eyes widened in surprise to see the neighbour’s daughter standing in his home.

“Jaime, hi,” She flashed him a quick smile, and Jaime cleared his throat.

“Hey, uhm, Drea!” He held an awkward smile of his own, eyes guarded. “What’re you doing here? Is Milagro alright?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. Was gonna get us drinks.”

“Cool.”

Then silence hung over their heads, neither adult looking at the other before Drea crossed her arms, lifting her left arm to point her thumb in the direction of the kitchen.

“So uh, does Milagro have a specific drink she likes here? Or should I drop by the convenience store to get it?” She asked with genuine curiosity that Jaime almost believed that she was completely human.

Unlike what Khaji warned him about.

“We got uh… something in the fridge that she’ll like.” 

Jaime once again smiled, albeit he smiled flatly, heading out of the corridor, and into the dining area. Trailing him to get the drinks, Drea filled herself a cup of water, eyeing Jaime curiously as the male rushed around the area, as though he was looking for someone.

“How’s life?”

Jaime snapped up, humming before zoning back to her presence. He looked a little lost before he finally registered her question all while fidgeting slightly.

“It’s… life. Nothing much really. Job hunting, trying to keep things afloat,” He answered before heading towards the front door.

“Oh seriously? You’re looking for work too? That’s great,” Drea chimed, brushing off Jaime’s behaviour as nervousness. “Do you think it’d be fine if Milagro and I join you for the search?”

“I mean,” Jaime’s eyes darted to the door as he turned around to answer. “Mili and I were already working that out together but uh, yeah, you’re welcome to join.”

“Great, that’s… yeah, thanks,” Drea smiled gratefully back while Jaime nodded hurriedly.

A silence fell between them once more, Jaime tapping his wrist in urgency, yet he stayed in case there was more conversation she tried to start. Just to confirm, he spoke up, Drea keeping her glass away in the sink as she picked up another full glass of water for her friend in the room.

“Is there anything else you need to ask or…?”

“Ah, nope, I’m done,” Drea shook her head, her eyes widening in realisation of his situation. “Oh, shit, sorry for the hold up.”

Before she could say anything else, Jaime told her his response while walking out, the door slamming shut as she heard his voice ring out for the last time.

“You’re good, no worries!”

As soon as the front door was shut and he had walked out of view of anyone, Jaime sighed as his suit, unfortunately, burning his current clothes off, annoyance filling him. 

He had to speak to Khaji about that, there was no way he could keep buying new clothes for each week.

“I thought you would never leave.”

Speak of the Devil.

“Look, she was nice,” Jaime muttered, the helmet forming over his head. “And she’s Milagro’s friend, I can’t be not nice for no reason.”

“She is an alien. There is a reason to not be nice to her,” Khaji-Da responded with a know-it-all tone, Jaime rolling his eyes.

“That’s rich coming from you. Just tell Mama that I’ll be late for dinner.”

gif by @rob-pattinson

taglist: @mooncleaver

< comment/dm me if you'd like to be on the taglist! >

[dollfaceirene]

50 DAY SC CHALLENGE: UPDATE 1

SO it's finally time for the first update of the 50 Day Self Concept challenge that i started to improve my mindset!

𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟏: so i listened to some new SC affirmation tapes that i found on youtube and relistened to my SC playlist and i've noticed a calmness in my mindset ngl. I just felt meh about my mindset. 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟐: icl i've seen a sense of calmness in my mindset which is good. Been affirming i was a master shifter and could shift on command (becuz respectfully, i fcking can lol), i've noticed when i was on call with one of my friend's friend, i was actually really talkative & funny, my mum is nicer to me, i feel soo good 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟑: so i saw some video of some shiftoker that i have been keeping up with recently and she minishifted after her 2nd day of reprogramming her subconsciousness and that made me spiral and cause a dip in my mindset because "she was making more progress in her 3D than me" and i started having feeling of jealousy and such. Regardless, i kept persisting even though i lowkey felt shitty and then near the end of the night, i listened to some SC affirmation tapes & shifting subs 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟒: ever since seeing that video of someone minishifting on their 2nd day of their mental diet, i’ve just been wavering thinking “why not me?” “how long until its my turn” and its just sent me in some spiral. It doesn’t help that lately i’ve been just home all day so i get bored very easily and start wavering on my self concept aswell. Idk, but i just need to pick myself tf up and stand up because if i keep wavering, ill never get out of the cycle of persisting in my SC and being a master shifter, focus on the 3D then start affirming the opposite. Nuh uh! because i promised myself this year ill shift and no more fucking excuses because if other people can do it then there is absolutely no excuse to me doing it 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝟓: So after reading a really eye opening and wake up call loa post on tumblr at 12AM, i decided why tf was i allowing myself to become a victim of the 3D when its the effect and my 4D is the cause?? So i kept persisting in my affirmations and woke up feeling sm better. Overall, i manifested some stuff and even something didnt go my way in the 3D and i found it sm easier to not react to it.

[polarisbibliotheque]

Dante and Vergil with their s/o giving them late Christmas presents

Pairing: Dante x Reader; Vergil x Reader

Summary: Interestingly enough, Christmas was a time of the year when demons decided to cause mayhem - giving the whole crew enough work for months to come. Because of that, you didn't have the chance to buy your dear devil a present... But that wouldn't stop you from showing you cared.

Age restriction: none, really. Dante's present you can interpret as NSFW only if you WANT to. It pleases all readers: you can read it as something very silly or kinda spicy - and BOTH go with our red devil. He is a seducing goof, really.

Author's notes: I'm not in a very jolly Christmas spirit this year and feeling quite meh about the Holidays, so maybe this can cheer up some people who are on the same vibe as me. Sometimes we're not on our best days and it's ok if we're not on the Holiday vibe - you're not broken. It's fine if you don't feel great.

ALSO IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: the poem on Vergil's part is a song lyrics I've written a long time ago and I went through my notes to find something I liked for this one. You're welcome to share if you like, but please credit me. It's my first time sharing this sort of work, so be nice about it ^^

Dante

Oh, Christmas. Jolly time, beautiful time, snowflake insanity time and carols playing everywhere a human – or demonic – hearing could reach.

One thing everyone seemed to forget, was the high incidence of demons causing pure mayhem. You understood Halloween – based on Samhein and all that – but Christmas…? Maybe demons liked to follow the Wheel of the Year as well and wreaked havoc during Yule?

Well, you settled with that explanation. Demons were all about magic, solstices, equinoxes, and such, so Christmas should be one of those magic heavy times too.

It was a bummer that the Devil May Cry always got busier that time of the year.

After the family and the crew got together, Dante started celebrating and waiting eagerly for it every time December 1st arrived on the calendar. Prior to that, though, you knew your red devil wasn’t much of a celebration type of guy – for a long time, he had no one to celebrate it with; therefore, he allowed the date to die inside his heart.

Hunting was his – and yours, to be honest – way to stop thinking about it. If you were busy, you wouldn’t notice that loneliness that seemed to approach during the jolly time.

You sighed, while walking back home in the streets of Redgrave. With hands inside your coat’s pockets, your sword was carefully kept inside a guitar case you caried on your back – something you learned with Dante to be less obvious of your status as a devil hunter to other people. You were just another tired musician, coming back home after a tiring day at work.

And what a day. You received so many calls, the crew had to cancel Christmas and each one go to a job and clear one demon infestation at a time. That meant no Christmas food, no cozy drinks, no jolly songs on repeat and no presents.

With your feet marking your way in the snow, the snowflakes spiraled as you let out another sigh. You wanted to give Dante a present – to show him you cared and all that, even after he told you he didn’t want anything. But that was the thing about him: Dante never wanted anything and always thought he didn’t deserve it.

If you could only grab him by the shoulders and shake that stupid belief out of his head. It was funny even how many times that type of thought crossed your head – but it was a staple of living with Dante.

You could hear people celebrating inside their houses. It was very late and probably in the middle of the night – you didn’t carry a watch or something to tell the time since a demon blasted your cellphone in two during a job and it took you more than a year to scrape some money to get a new one. Nevertheless, you learnt to tell the time by the skies and, giving how late it was, Dante probably was coming back from his as well.

He would be tired – or at least sore from all the fighting – and certainly in need of a shower, just like you at the moment.

Crossing the heavy wooden doors of the Devil May Cry, you left the guitar case and dirty boots by the jukebox, noticing how Dante’s were missing – that meant he still wasn’t home.

As you went up the stairs, you still thought about his gift. You could give him a pizza for the night and Dante would be happy. One would think it would be great to have someone easy to please around, but it did make your life more difficult: you had no idea what to give him when you wanted something to be really special.

Everything was special for Dante.

Reaching your room, you finally smiled while searching for some clean pajamas. That little thought made you realize something – and search for a beautiful ribbon you could wrap a present with.

*

“Ei, babe! Still in the shower?”

“Hey, Dante! Just got out!” You answered while drying yourself with the towel. You could hear a little laugh in his voice as he walked around the room on the other side of the door.

“Damn, seems like I lost my chance for a nice shower with ya tonight!” His voice was a little muffled, making some effort with something. If you knew him well, Dante was finally taking his boots off and would remain sitting on the bed for a while to let his feet rest.

“Oh, I was desperately needing a shower.” You sighed, making him giggle a little. “How was your job today?”

“Eh, same as always… Nothin’ special, just a bunch of buffoons thinkin’ they’re gonna conquer the human world.” The sigh in his voice made you lough this time. You found it lovely how you always could hear his smile in the way he spoke back at you. “What…?”

“Not a usual thing hearing you say ‘buffoon’. You’re really Vergil’s brother, huh?” You couldn’t stop giggling as your fingers fumbled with the beautiful stripe of red cloth that would be a beautiful bow when you’d be done with it.

“What can I say, babe?” You already knew Dante so well, his shrug was in his voice, as well as his smugness. The cocky smile was beautifully plastered in your mind – and you’d hope you’d never forget it. “You start livin’ with the prince of darkness there, you get a few of his mannerisms.”

“Hmmm.” You tried to hold back a laugh, but the wheezing was recognizable even to Dante in the room. “Now I’m imagining good ol’ Verge dressed as Ozzy singing Paranoid like a crazy metal dad.”

You could swear Dante’s laugh could be heard through the whole shop – and you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing alongside him. Moments like those were better than any presents you could give him.

“Ha! Now that would be a sight to see!” He coughed back. “But ya know, don’t mention this to Verge, but he used to like Black Sabbath and uncle Ozzy when we were kids.”

“Nooooo…! You’re joking!” As soon as your voice achieved the heights of disbelief, Dante just laughed in response. “Verge is a Sabbath guy?!”

“I’ll say two things: Mr. Crowley and War Pigs.” Dante’s voice disappeared for a few seconds before coming back again. “If ya sing one of these by his side, Vergil knows the lyrics by heart.”

“Man, I gotta do that one of these days…!” You giggled to yourself, hearing Dante falling on the bed. Probably sitting, waiting for you to come out of the bathroom. “What about you?”

“Oh, I love uncle Ozz and Sabbath! Who do ya think introduced metal at home?!” With a sigh, you knew he was stretching and finally starting to relax. “But yeah, I was more into AC/DC, and later bands like Mötley Crüe. Verge said it was all one hell of a noise and he couldn’t focus on readin’.”

“Huh. As if you can focus on Sabbath.”

“Touché. He knew some songs on drums too, he just liked complainin’…”

That was a good present for you. Having Dante remember things of his life and talk to you about mundane things, like music, was something that always warmed your heart – you loved everything about him, but spending time together and just getting to know each other more and more… That was something only his soul could gift you.

“Talkin’ ‘bout complainin’, is everything alright there, babe? Or did the toilet swallow you?”

“Oh, you know. Just a couple of sewer demons, I’ll be done with them in nooo time.” Your answer made both of you laugh – although, sewer demons were indeed an annoying breed of devils. “I’ll be out soon, red devil, chill out. I have a surprise for you.”

“What…? Surprise…?”

That suddenly kicked into his head: it was Christmas. Dante had completely forgotten about it. He was so used to not celebrating, that going about it like a normal day was just average to him. All the lights in the street, the snow, the songs, the smells of Christmas food… It was something he had learned to ignore.

“Oh, babe… You…”

But Dante’s mumbles were interrupted as soon as you emerged from the bathroom wrapped around the red ribbon; a perfect big bow resting on the top of your head as you opened your arms. You found him sitting on the bed, shirtless, stretching his legs after a tiring day of hunting – his dumbfounded sky-blue eyes staring at you in awe for the couple of seconds you took him by surprise.

“Merry Christmas, cowboy!” You giggled back, a wide smile on your lips. “I couldn’t buy you a present, so…” You signaled to yourself, opening your arms again right after.

“Damn. I love you, babe. Have I told you that already…?” Dante murmured with a beautiful big smile on his lips, taking your hand on his as you approached. “Merry Christmas, beautiful. Sorry I couldn’t get ya a present this year.”

“It’s ok. You’re already my present, big guy.”

Dante just kissed you in return as you sat on his lap. The only way for you to know how much your words meant to him, was by the rhythm of his heart, beating like fiery drums.

He wouldn’t mind receiving that Christmas gift every year.

Vergil

The last demon fell on the floor, slayed by your very own ghostly white Mirror Edge. Your hands were covered in blood, as well as the snow covering the ground in that Christmas night.

The moon was high in the sky, celebrations already starting to come to an end inside homes all over Redgrave. Vergil once told you there were times of the year, usually celebrated by witches and occultists in general, that held power – and Christmas time was one of them.

You had to take a different job than Vergil in order to keep demons at bay that night; returning home, then, was a lone path. Quietly walking in the streets, you kept your hands warm inside your pockets, watching as people went back home or just turned off the lights to go to sleep.

“I do recall Christmas at my family’s home…” Vergil said calmly, watching the snow falling outside while he kept his hands warm with the cup of fancy tea you brewed for the night. “It all seems like a distant memory. I…” He halted his words, furrowing his brows as Vergil carefully chose his words. He wasn’t one to speak without intention and, when it came to his feelings, he always struggled to find the right words. “…Spent too much time in Hell. Time itself is a concept forgotten on those lands.”

“Hmmm. Were you aware of the passage of years…?” You kept focusing on your painting; sitting in front of it, you let Vergil speak, paying attention to his words but being careful not to overwhelm him with attention. He raised his eyes to you, watching as your hands carefully painted the snow from the night outside – Vergil knew it required trust from you to allow him to watch you creating something.

“Sometimes…” He let out a deep, controlled sigh. There was a type of tug inside his chest every time he talked about those memories; as if something inside him was twisting and leaving him breathless. “Some minutes seemed like years… And some years seemed like seconds. I only realized how much time had passed when I saw Dante for the first time.”

“Huh. Makes sense…” You muttered, making him raise one eyebrow. You reached for something on your paint desk and Vergil gave you your teacup – he always feared you would accidentally take a sip of dirty paint water in your moment of being absorbed by your art. He had done that countless times while reading; it was something he wasn’t proud of. “I wouldn’t have wasted time trying to know what year it was if I was falling apart after crawling out of Hell. Makes sense you only noticed when V united with Urizen again.”

“Hmmm.” Vergil agreed with a subtle nod, brewing your words inside his mind. You seemed to be the only person he could openly talk with and not be judged – there was something of welcoming about it. “I… Forgot. How Christmas is like. I know the memories; I know the traditions. But I don’t know the feeling anymore… I see just a ritual that only has meaning if people believe in it. In Hell, no one believes in anything; the only thing keeping you alive is a small light of hope that one day you will make it out of there. The rest…” And Vergil did a vague gesture with his hand, preparing to take another sip of his tea. “Is frivolous.”

“Only survival matters.” As you added, he nodded alongside you.

“And keeping yourself. Not allowing your soul to die. If you lose that, not even your body can bring you back.”

That conversation with Vergil marked you. They were just a few words before he went back to reading and you focused again on your painting, singing a couple of songs ever time your heart felt like it. Surprisingly, it was something Vergil enjoyed while reading – as well as mindlessly massaging your feet and calves you usually rested on his lap while both of you were concentrated on something else.

Vergil was easing back on Christmas. It was a lot of work – he wasn’t specially loved by anyone but you and Dante in the crew, but everyone was warming up to the blue devil. Trish and Lady found it easier to welcome him given their history together, and Nero was working on his own feelings of having a father – and one who didn’t even know him, to top that. The first Christmas together was a miracle and the second Christmas, Vergil already showed he was a lot better at thinking of gifts than Dante – they usually didn’t remember people actually expected to receive something, but Vergil always knew each one’s preferences.

He never expected anything back, though. It had something to do with him atoning for his sins, but there was something else as well. If you didn’t get in the festive spirit, Vergil wouldn’t get into it as well. Time and important dates were a real struggle to the blue devil – as he said before, there wasn’t such a thing in Hell.

Vergil was completely tone deaf when it came to noticing the passage of time: it was common between you two a few reality checks. Vergil usually approached and you helped him make sure what he was living was real – not one of his many hallucinations when incarcerated – and when were you. “When” as in how many weeks had passed since an important event, how many months, how many hours. That way, you helped him with his time dissonance.

He probably didn’t even remember it was Christmas… It was your job to remind him, then.

*

As Vergil entered your room, he could hear the shower as your voice entangled around the notes of water in a song he didn’t recognize – not that he needed to, for Vergil loved hearing you sing.

Leaving his coat on the back of the chair, he sat on the bed to take off his boots. It was a relief, really. The moment the day ended, and he came back home – it had been a very long time Vergil didn’t really have a routine of winding down, changing to comfortable clothes and sleeping in a warm, comfortable bed. He always took some time to close his eyes and feel the ground under his feet, focusing on how grounding that was.

His heart seemed to go back to its own place – a forgotten place in his chest, filled with a warm sense of safety. He could only define it as the feeling of love and protection he longed during all his years of seemingly endless suffering.

There were days in Hell that indeed felt like an eternity. Sometimes, Vergil questioned if everything he was living with you was real – working in the Devil May Cry, talking to his brother again, getting to know his son. It was a dream, and dreams were prone to ending.

Shaking his head, Vergil took a deep breath before taking his boots and opening the closet to keep them safe and sound in their proper place. The next piece was his vest, carefully kept in a drawer.

Vergil calmly went back to the desk, in order to get his coat and hang it inside the closet – hearing while you turned off the shower and started to dry yourself, still humming your song of choice. It was one you had shown him before, that he could identify.

As soon as his fingers touched his coat, Vergil furrowed his eyebrows – his eyes meeting an envelope with his name atop of his read of that month. That was your handwriting; that he was certain.

Taking the envelope between his fingers, Vergil turned it around, finding the words “Merry Christmas”.

Oh.

Oh.

He had forgotten about Christmas.

Vergil stared at a lost spot on the wall for a while, internally complaining about his lack of awareness of important dates in a human world. Shaking his head once again, he finally opened the envelope, finding a simple piece of paper with your handwriting – a poem, by the way you framed it on the sheet of paper.

“When I believed life was concrete and coal

You made my heart rain gold

Dripping like honey over your chest and arms

I want to glimmer with you amid the stars

Your breath caught on my lips, kept in my soul

Your sparkle entangled in my hands, I will never let go

In the silence of the Universe, witnessed only by Venus and Mars

I give you, my love, my soul and my heart.”

Vergil didn’t know that poem.

He read those words again and again, breaking the meaning and feeling behind them. His silvery eyes had never seen them before, but there was something of different… Something that seemed to wrap around his heart and make his eyes threaten to feel more than he usually allowed them to feel.

Until he found the little note on the bottom of the paper.

I know it isn’t perfect, love, but I wrote this poem for you. It’s the sincerest thing I can give you this Christmas. I hope you like it as much as I liked writing it.

“Oh, you found it.” Vergil was lifted out of his storm of thoughts by your voice, recently emerged from the bathroom. He turned around, having a stern look on his face and his hands holding the single piece of paper for dear life. “Merry Christmas, my dear. I hope you like your present. I didn’t have time to buy anything, and I wanted to give you something meaningful.”

Without any words, Vergil approached you with the same resolution he did when he had an enemy in sight. You just looked at him, trying to understand his reactions – Vergil was always a box of surprises. He never reacted like everyone else did, but it was to be expected after all he had been through.

You were caught completely by surprise when he wrapped his arms around you, tightly holding you against his body – his face hidden in the curve of your neck. His heart was aligned with yours; and that made you smile.

It was the first time Vergil was the subject of a heartfelt poem – not just a heartless reader searching for some tenderness.

**

I blame Duff McKagan’s Tenderness for that last line and overall feeling of this ending part

This Tenderness. I love this man, I love this song, and it was Vergil written all over. It's also really comforting on trying times, give it a listen ;)

[wannaeatramyeon]

Ur thoughts on lookism ships/rarepairs? We already know that you like goo x gun, but what's your thoughts on other ships & rarepairs like Eli x crystal, Gun/Goo x Samuel, Samuel x Jake, Sally x Warren, Vasco x Jake, Daniel harem? You can add more if ya want :3

Funny you ask because I first came to the fandom to look for fanfic on canon characters and shipping. I had zero idea x reader was a thing. What shipping you ask? Whatever, gimme.

Ramblings on Lookism (Rare)pairs

Listen, I will ship almost ANYTHING if you can convince me.

Gun x Goo? Because I want to mention them again. YES. Hello? This just makes sense. I hate you, I love you, I'll kill you. If you're going to die then it will be by MY HANDS. Does it get any more romantic than this?

Gun x Daniel? The AO3 warning tags has got me swerving this pairing to be honest. However, I love the idea of these two as a cracky couple. Lots of opportunities for comedy and for Gun to pop up behind a trashcan and be like, "Hi, I was thinking about you."

Gun x Samuel? Lol. Sammy would NOT be able to keep up or hold Gun's attention. Maybe something casual until Sammy spirals and Gun nopes tf out.

Goo x Samuel? I actually think this has more legs than the Samuel x Gun pairing. Goo will be impressed with Samuel's moneymaking initiatives, and they will have a lot of unstable fun together. Secret friends with their secret kisses and activities?? Until Goo realises that Sammy is unhinged in a mentally traumatised way and not in a chaotin gremlin way like he is, then will also nope out.

Samuel x Jake? There's just so much sexual tension there. Please just kiss already (see pic above). Nothing like this pairing to bring out the worst in each other, and that's really saying something for Jakey. Could be end game if Samuel goes to therapy. Actually, Sammy in therapy would just be unstoppable. Period.

Sinu x Jake? Yep. These two green flags would be bringing out the best in each other. Insufferable martyrs though for Big Deal. God, can you just imagine how happy the Big Deal gang would be seeing these two get together?

Vasco x Jake? Huh. Never thought about it but 2 himbos? The funniest shenanigans. I do think the dynamic can get a little boring after a while without one half to anchor the other. Their flirting scenarios, however... Imagine Vasco getting all red faced and flustered with Jake's winks and one liners!

Vasco x Jace? The cutest, most supportive couple. You just know that Jace is going to be affectionately looking on at Vasco doing all his Himbo shit.

Eli x Crystal? Ehh. I need convincing. With Eli's latest character development and what I remember of Crystal, they would clash and not in a fun sexy way. Both seem too headstrong and bullheaded to get on well.

Crystal x Zoe? Like Vasco and Jace, these two would be really adorable together. Would both help each other out with their Lookist tendencies. Zoe's kindess would also help to soften Crystal up.

Zack x Johan? YES. Johan the tsundere with Zack the simp. Have you not seen what Zack has put himself through in the latest arc? Everything he's doing to bring his boy home? If we take Mira out the equation, this might as well be canon.

Vin x Zack? I could not see this at all until the latest arc and actually, these two have the funniest interactions. Vin brings out Zack's bastard side from the first few arcs. I bet they would have the most pissed off sex. Can't imagine it lasting for anything more than a casual fling though.

Vin x Mary? No. Absolutely not. Love their platonic friendship and how they are bffs more than anything. I'll be honest, if it was another writer I probably would not mind. But PTJ has trouble writing a female character with depth so. Nope. Can't be doing that to our queen.

Sally x Warren? Is this even a rarepair. Either way, meh. It's fine. If Sally was shown to have a personality, sure. These 2 can share the 1 braincell.

Daniel x Jay? They are a very cute pair, and I do like how Jay's feelings are canon. This feels very k-drama with the Chaebol falling for you.

Daniel Harem? No. I generally dislike most harem tropes, sorry.

And just throwing in Hobin Harem? Definitely not. As above. Especially because this makes me roll my eyes that it's PTJ living out his fantasies.

Lastly, clarifying that I'm not fetishising male x male pairings. When hardly any of the female characters are developed, it's hard for me to care about most het couples or fem x fem pairings.

In summary

Write anything good, and I'm IN.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Helloo there, I hope you had a nice new year!

I'm an INTP here, and I need some guidance on how I can handle cultivating more empathy and social skills. I've had a lack of empathy since I was young. I am not sure what triggered it or led to it. But It's hard for me to form proper connections with people as a result.

When I was younger, I was a silent kid because i had almost no interest in socializing. I've noticed an issue where i was extremely selfish or cruel. For example, around the age of 6 to 12, I would get a sort of gratification when I purposely made my friend sad, I would find tiny reason to break of the friendship, and feel no remorse to it. I treated people more like experiments than friends. The only major fear I had was towards authority figures such as teachers.

Another thing I've noticed is that I have no strong recollection of good/bad memories. I can not remember the times I have been emotionally hurt or happy memories. The only major emotions I show are annoyance, happiness, and sadness if something happened to me only and never for anyone else.

I also find it hard to remember any important details of conversations and how I talked with people. Leading to fights because they bring up something i did, which i can not recall. My conversations are dull, I can't seem to generate emotions naturally. It feels like I have to fake every expression at times, as friends have previously called me a robot, due to my monotone behaviour.

I also find it hard to speak without saying something awkward and unfit for the conversation. It seems like my thoughts are many degrees away from the original path of the conversation. While everyone else can talk smoothly and reply in a way that continues the conversations, my replies fall flat and end with an awkward laugh.

As you might be able to guess, my friendships are quite shallow and unfulfilling, too. I often find it a chore to maintain relationships, almost taking an extreme amount of energy to reply to a text. Even if the other person has a keen interest in me.

But I still so desire good friendships, I keep myself cheerful and smiley, so that people don't turn off from me at first glance.

I've noticed these traits so often and spiralled down into sadness, believing that I might be sociopathic and that I am intrinsically a bad person. (I am prone to victim mentality, which made it worse).

It's only after I reached college and got into a failed relationship that I've consciously tried to fix myself. I've realised what an unfulfilling and selfish life I've been living.

I've tried living in the moment, trying to feel peoples emotions, putting in effort, listening more, trying to converse more, approach people, and, in general, involve myself in the class. But all it takes is one bad mood for me to undo all my progress and turn silent again.

My feelings of insecurity and envy have been raised, too, as my ex is now dating someone who is empathetic, sensitive, and socially adept.

I want to know

How to get out of this constant rut of motivation and failure to change.

How to live in the moment and talk, getting over the fear that I will say something unfit.

How to be more empathetic in general.

How to be more secure inside so that i can focus more outside and on my friendships.

---------------------

Lack of empathy or empathy deficit is a complicated topic in psychology, so this might be a lot for you to process. Yes, empathy can be conceptualized as a skill to improve and build up through learning and practice. However, like any skill, some people will have more genetic aptitude with it than others, so some people struggle with it more than others.

It sounds like you've already done some research and tried a few techniques with meh results. Unfortunately, your way of working toward a solution is very slow because you still don't know the "why". It's hard to solve a problem when you don't know the root cause because then the only method available to you is trial-and-error. It can indeed become very discouraging when you get error after error or don't see any meaningful progress.

Empathy deficit can be thought of as a symptom, which means there are many possible psychological issues/disorders that can give rise to it. It might benefit you to get assessed by a mental health professional with expertise about empathy deficit. It's important to investigate what lies behind it in order to discover the right way to address it.

For example, both autism and narcissism can produce empathy deficit but the mechanisms that impede empathy development are very different when you compare the two, so the treatment plans would end up looking very different once you tailor them to each individual's needs. Some people lack empathy simply because they have never been loved by anyone due to growing up in an environment of extreme neglect. Having never felt love, they don't know what it is and of course don't know how to show it.

One reason empathy deficit is a thorny subject is because of social stigma, especially since it often gets associated with psychopathy or sociopathy as you mentioned. Many psychologists don't use these labels because of the stigma and because they are imprecise. When a psychological term is widely used by the general public, it starts to lose meaning or the meaning gets extremely fuzzy, which renders it less and less useful for diagnostic purposes. People think "psychopath" and they picture a serial killer, which isn't helpful.

Personally, I'm even wary of using the word "disorder" because it often leads people to believe they are somehow "broken"; the way they behave is "wrong" and has to be changed to the "right" way. While some psychological problems should be called a disorder, I personally don't believe that empathy deficit itself should be, unless it is accompanied by dysfunctional behavior that indicates the presence of a serious mental disorder.

My understanding of empathy deficit is that it's more like a "disability", similar to blindness or deafness. What's the advantage of approaching empathy deficit as a disability? A) It's not your fault that your brain has low aptitude for empathy, so shame is completely unwarranted. B) A disability is something you can come to comfortably accept as a part of you, but also something you need to learn to adapt to, in order to live a fuller life. Thus, the question isn't "what's wrong with me?" but rather "how can I adapt better to having this disability?"

Empathy isn't an on/off switch. There are degrees of empathy. Some people have minimal to no empathy. Some people have too much empathy. Most people fall somewhere in the middle of having empathy much of the time but still capable of acting like a selfish jerk some of the time.

The way INTPs approach the world tends to be conceptual and intellectual, so it might help you to approach empathy in more cognitive rather than emotional terms. The most basic way to explain empathy is the ability to conceptualize/visualize another person's mind and understand what's going on in there. There are many paths to reaching that understanding, so psychologists distinguish between different kinds of empathy:

Affective empathy or emotional empathy is about sharing someone else's feelings and emotions. For instance, people with normal empathy would feel sad upon seeing their friend feeling sad about their dog dying. By sharing feelings and emotions with someone, it can lessen their burden and help them feel better. Expressing empathy in this way is a common method of showing how much you care about someone's well-being. When people talk about empathy deficit, it is usually affective empathy they are referring to. Try as they might, some people just can't muster enough care or concern about others.

Another kind of empathy is cognitive empathy, which is basically about modeling someone else's mind. Ti+Ne might help you with this. You could take your own experience and try to extrapolate from it to understand someone else.

For example, do you feel anything when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for you, such as ask how you're doing, give you a gift, or answer a question for you online? People with normal empathy would feel warmth, appreciation, gratitude, closeness/intimacy, care, love, or a sense of mattering. If you feel good when someone does something nice for you, you can extrapolate from it and guess that someone else may also feel good when you do something nice for them. This is the rationale behind the common advice of treating others the way you would like to be treated.

Even if you aren't capable of feeling good when someone does something nice for you, you can still observe that it is a common phenomenon in the general population. Therefore, you can deduce, through empirical investigation of cause and effect, that people doing nice things for each other is an important aspect of maintaining good relations. This can then be turned into a good principle or practice to follow: "If you want to keep a friend, you have to occasionally do nice things for them (so that they can feel justified in continuing the friendship)." You don't have to use your own emotion to arrive at good principles of action; you can also use logic and common sense to get a similar result.

Empathy is also closely linked to compassion, which is about taking action in accordance with empathic feelings. For example, seeing a friend get injured on the street, it isn't enough to just stand there and feel for them, right? Feeling bad for them should also prompt you to take action to help or save them from further injury or death.

If you can't feel bad for people who are injured, you can still understand, intellectually, that it's not a great situation. Instead of acting on empathic feelings you don't have, you could act out of logic and common sense, knowing that, universally, nobody likes to lie there vulnerable and bleeding on the street. Once again, this could lead you to create a principle/practice to follow: "If you want to keep a friend, you should take action whenever they need help."

If you're not capable of affective empathy, you are still capable of cognitive empathy as long as you are of normal intelligence. Most people rely more on affective than cognitive empathy. However, since you suffer this "disability" of not being able to generate enough affective empathy, you could rely more on cognitive empathy as an adaptation.

Maybe it's impossible for you to become the beloved social butterfly wowing everyone with your charisma, but you can still form meaningful relationships with a handful of people. When you meet a good candidate for friendship, be open and honest about your challenges, then they will know to show you more empathy and patience. As long as you're willing to put out some effort for them, they will return it. Relationships require reciprocity.

This brings us to the last point of "effort", which relates to motivation. Motivation often arises from emotionality; people have a strong desire or feel strongly about something, so they take action. What happens when your feelings and emotions are too muted to motivate action?

Human beings are motivated by a great number of things. The motivation to connect with other people is but one of them. In many cases, empathy deficit doesn't mean a person is incapable of empathizing. It's more precise to say that they can empathize but the motivation is too easily overridden by other conflicting motivations.

To give you a simple example, maybe you just worked a long day on your feet and you're utterly exhausted. You get on the bus to go home and there's only one seat left that's reserved for the disabled or elderly. You take it because no one else wants it. Later, a very frail old man gets on the bus and eyes your seat. What do you do? Many people, out of empathy, would yield the seat. A low empathy person can still feel bad for the old man. The issue is that their empathy level isn't strong enough to override the more pressing motivation to rest.

Oftentimes in relationships, you are faced with a dilemma of having to choose between yourself and others. Instead of thinking of it in terms of "I only care about me and I don't care about them", you can think of it like this:

I have multiple motivations. 1) I want to do what I want to do. 2) But I also want to keep this person as my friend. Just because motivation 1 is always stronger than 2 doesn't mean I always have to choose that way.

Since my feelings and emotions are muted, I do not have the mental resources to satisfy all of my motivations all of the time. I must ensure that I am not too otherwise stressed/taxed when trying to socialize. And I must calculate which motivation is most worthwhile to follow based on the situation.

When faced with a social dilemma, I must analyze which motivation is going to lead me to a better outcome via weighing the pros and cons objectively. In some situations, I will get a better outcome by taking care of my own needs. In some situations, I will get a better outcome by taking action to keep my friend. In some situations, I can be super smooth and efficient and do something that will benefit both of us at the same time. Make the smartest choice given the circumstances.

Taking some extra time to think through possible outcomes helps you make better social decisions (and develop Ne properly). Just like a visually impaired person has to put out effort to read braille or a hearing impaired person has to put out effort to use sign language, you must put out some effort to learn adaptations that will help you participate better in relationships and social situations.

You don't have to overthink. You can learn about people through observation and asking them simple questions. You can follow some basic principles like: compliment people when they do something good; offer help on occasion; say please and thank you; etc. Perhaps read about social etiquette to learn some good rules of thumb. Perhaps study communication skills so that you can express yourself more effectively.

An important aspect of maintaining motivation is regularly getting good results along the way. As INTP, you should be good at analyzing past mistakes for lessons to learn, in a scientific or experimental way. Try something and it doesn't work, don't do it again. Something worked well, try it again. It only works some of the time? Isolate the relevant factors to predict which situations it's more likely to work. You've obviously made some progress since childhood because you now actually care about this issue enough to feel bad and reach out for guidance. When feeling down, people tend to fixate on failure and it's easy to lose sight of all the little improvements achieved. Make sure to review the things you've done well, no matter how small, as a way to keep your motivation up.

Although empathy is an important ingredient in relationships, there are still ways to proceed without it. As long as you have some motivation to socialize, no matter how small or muted, there is hope to build something more out of it. Use those feelings of loneliness, regret, or sadness you just told me about to enhance your motivation and your desire to live your life in a better way (as opposed to wallowing in negativity).

You don't have to be "noble" and take action for others purely because you care deeply about them. Maybe it's enough to do it as a thank you to them for sticking around to make your life more fulfilling. It's not a competition of "me vs them", so don't think of relationships as a "sacrifice". By making them happy, you also make yourself happy, because you get to have a friend. Fe teaches you that good relationships should be win-win, even when you care more about your win than theirs.

[shadowofagoodbye]

Bit late here but life.

Valentine's day is such a trip for fandoms, right? Cute date fics. Confession fics. Realization fics. All the good stuff.

The day has some historical attachments right? It just got overshadowed by consumerism and the like. So we could just not care and add it to any world and have it work out the same way.

Worldbuilding, babe.

I was thinking about this for Twisted Wonderland. Because we have the obvious Queen of Hearts. And with the insanity of her kingdom, it would be fun to see what we can come up with. (Other than, "Prefect has a holiday in their world and it's all about love and everyone on campus is thirsty so let's roll with it")

If the Queen of Hearts had a King or a sweetheart, a day could be made to celebrate that connection. In theory, confessing on the day could bring good luck? That would be cute. And it spiralled from there until it became more associated with cheesy gestures than a true bond.

Now the AzuDeu part. Yuu brings up Valentine's Day and Ace and Deuce bring up 'Hearts Day' or whatever we call it and that it's really only a big deal in the Queendom of Roses. Yuu mentions it around the Tweels and Azul panics because of course, wouldn't you want a potential love interest to celebrate holidays like that? And Azul very much wants to be Deuce's love interest

So Azul does research, and ignores the Tweels cackling at him, because this is important. And while Ace has the whole 'meh, old fashioned', Deuce is a bit of a romantic from his chats with his dorm mates. So Deuce would actually find it lucky/cute to be confessed on this day.

Yuu and the Tweels, tired of their pining friends, make a huge event of the day because of 'unity'. Which of course, gets in the way of Azul and Deuce actually spending the day together.

A full day of insanity and possible fireworks and confession kisses at the end!

I should write this...

[nicistrying]

I am digging deep today friends.. had such a stressful and anxious morning - while out grocery shopping my best friend text me to say my mam was messaging her trying to organise a 2 night hen do for me.. which sounds lovely under normal circumstances and don't get me wrong I'm so grateful and feel so loved that she would do that for me! BUT I know one of my stepmams wouldn't come to that, or if she somehow did there would probably be a lottt of tension if not an argument between her and my mam bc they both married my asshole dad, throw Matt's extremely opinionated mam into the mix and then me, my best friend and all my sisters, I just think it's a recipe for disaster. So I had a big old freak out and had to put my foot down and say absolutely no more than one night but ideally just a day would be enough. So that sent me on a bit of a spiral and I very nearly crawled into bed and curled up to shut it all out for the rest of the day which would have made me feel so shitty. BUT I did not! I sat for a while in my oodie eating rice crackers and venting to Matt, then came downstairs and made myself some instant noodles (I swear they have seasoning on they're just cheap and a bit meh) and am going to go out for a run like I promised myself I would. Even if I just jog down to the river and back which would take maybe 20 mins max. That would be a huuuge win for me considering I've pulled myself together enough to not just hide from everything. We have no plans next weekend so there's no reason I can't run longer then. Today, I only have an hour of daylight left so the plan is to go for a little jog to prove I can still show up even when I don't feel like it, then I'm going to give the car a quick wash bc it's filthy and I can barely see out the back window 😂 I'll do all my indoor chores after it gets dark. Let's do this! 💪

[class1akids]

I'm curious about the Hawks plotline take. Did you enjoy the Hawks vs AFO stalling match? Or did you think that was another detriment to his character?

The Hawks vs AFO stalling match didn't make a lot of sense, tbh. First of all, as cool as Hawks is, it makes no sense for him to be able to stall AFO with a broken sword. And unlike with All Might, where I may buy that AFO couldn't ignore him because of the history, AFO and Hawks have no history or chemistry whatsoever.

I don't think AFO vs Hawks standoff enriched either of their characters in any meaningful way, and in fact, getting all the extras clown on AFO really undermined his "final boss" appeal. That whole confrontation was about giving a string of side characters with no villains of their own a moment to shine - Inasa, Camie, Shinsou, Machia, Mt Lady etc.

Now how well that worked I think depends on how much you care about those characters. I personally cared mostly about Tokoyami's moment - which was cool, if not very deep. The rest ranged from "meh" - to "idgaf". I'm saying this as someone who loves side-character focus and has been waiting for Shiketsu's return for years. But those moments have to be built up and earned - and most of these moments just weren't. So we ended up with a checklist approach, where Hori could say they all got something, even some of it was gag territory.

The loss of his quirk was also super-underwhelming. Maybe because it felt like he should have lost it in the PLF War, and it felt like BS that it regrew, but also it wasn't as good as before, so the loss is not nearly as profound. And then his vestige was used for a really crappy joke in the AFO vs Bakugou bit, that just left fans confused.

I think for Hawks, post-war, there were 2 crucial story beats to cover:

Reaction to Dabi's reveal that Endeavor was an abusive father

Grappling with his own conscience about killing Twice.

As for 1 - I could even accept that Hawks comes to the conclusion that if he's not able to fix his birth family, he'll at least try to fix his surrogate father/ broken toy. I think that's an ok approach to take with him, but the lack of any nuance with his thoughts or any inner struggle to arrive there ruined this. (I still think that a spectacular spiral down and then rising again would have been a much superior narrative choice though). Making Hawks into Endeavor's life support flatlined his character.

As for 2, we just didn't see much introspection. Hawks went from this calculating, morally complex character into an one-tone optimistic cheerleader, and it's really not paying off in my opinion. We see small glimpses of a near-suicidal Hawks, but it's not enough to resonate.

I do think there is one more moment left for Hawks.

He's being taken in a chopper probably with Tokoyami and I have no doubt that they'll show up on the battlefield. But more importantly, I think Hawks will have something to do with the villains coming too - because of his line of wanting to see everyone more united.

I don't know what Hori is cooking with him, but I hope that at least his final endgame point will be something that brings back that fascinating character we loved in Act 2 instead whatever this was in Act 3.

[riddle-me-ri]

A/N: No real explanation for this, it’s just a super, super self-indulgent piece for me to do a character deep dive into Jervis Tetch. Don’t mind me! Lol. I was stuck between doing this with either Arkhamverse or BTAS Jervis(pls request btas jervis i only have one idea for him and its meh to me rip), but decided to just do a general overall version of him. I bring up a lot of familiar character beats and woes so this can really fit most Jervi anyway. There’s a hint of smut but nothing crazy, cause it’s not entirely what it’s about. 

and I guess a wee late b-day gift for @mischievous-marchie they’re mostly to blame for this anyway given the few deep discussions we’ve had in general lmao. 

Trigger Warnings: depressive and anxious thoughts, venting, explicit sexual content (handjobs all about Jervis here sorry not sorry), mentions of violence and criminal acts, and strong language

Word Count: 3.4 k

General Mad Hatter x Reader - Love and Suds

One of the most dangerous places for anyone to go is the deep recesses of their own brain. 

People often spend many years trying to repress their horrid anxious inducing memories of their shortcomings. 

Jervis found himself lamenting his very life, in the cold solitude of his tiny living room in his tiny apartment. 

On his lucid days, he's aware…he's there in reality, painfully aware of everything; past and present.  

Jervis sees what he's done, and it shudders his whole body in shame. He doesn't mean to hurt anyone. He doesn't mean to take away their free will…well most of them anyhow. 

It's just how else can he be noticed? Be respected and be shown an iota of love? That's all anyone really needs right? That's all everyone wants. 

Suffice it to say, people want things from Jervis…they want them all the time. But never the man himself.

Fellow rogues and evil masterminds constantly come to steal or bargain for a smidgen of his technology. 

He hates to admit the times he agreed to such dealings, whether it was for the money or just a shot at actually developing some kind of alliance.

Only for it all to be spit back in his face. Nobody wanted Jervis the person…just the genius and what he could provide. 

No, Jervis was always too freakish, too awkward, too…creepy to some. 

Jervis could feel the walls slowly caving in on himself. 

All his atrocities from his raging escapades to find companionship only to find someone wasn't the one or only to be taken for a fool and used all this time. 

Which caused him to lash out in the most violent ways…

All the times he was used, chewed on and spit back out, no longer of use to them or anyone really. 

His fingers raked through his hair. Nails scratching at his scalp, fingertips pulling at his hair strands. 

He just wanted to make his Wonderland a reality. He wanted to find happiness in reality but it just wasn't possible so he had to resort to desperate…horrible…measures. 

"Didn't want to…I didn't want to…wanted company, wanted to feel loved, respected…h-h-heard…" 

Heard…heard..what's that noise?

Someone was knocking at his door.

Jervis blinked rapidly. Trying to come back into the external after spiraling into his internal conflicts. 

Who could it be? He debated just staying quiet and staying put and continuing his downward spiral. 

Yet, much like Alice of old, he was curious. 

Jervis slowly, almost reluctantly approached the door. He looked through the peephole. 

Oh, it was you. What're you doing here?

"Jervis? Are you there? I haven't heard from you…" 

Guilt welled up in his gut like bile in his throat he wanted to puke. In all his damning thoughts, you were completely void of them. Probably because you're one of the only few people in the whole world that seemed genuine. 

You…actually seemed to like him for him. Something so rare there were many days Jervis found it hard to believe you existed. 

Yet, he knew he didn't have any chips on you. Jervis has looked you over a time or two to ensure he didn’t plant one on your during any of his stupors. 

There you were though. You were a free roaming person…that willingly came to see him. 

Jervis slowly unlocked the door and was greeted by your bright relieved smile. 

"Oh my god, Jervis you're okay! I-I haven't heard from you. You haven't invited me over in awhile…umm, can I come in?" 

Back in Jervis' days before his Mad Hatter escapades, you were the only one that showed him any friendly camaraderie. 

You, of course, being the only one wasn't enough to prevent Jervis from succumbing to his last resort for more connections and more semblance of respect he lacked. 

Many times, Batman and the psychiatrists at Arkham called upon you to help him, but it was like talking to a bunch of brick walls when they asked for your opinion. 

Jervis nodded and stepped to the side and let you in. 

You looked around at the clear disarray of his living room. Blankets and comforters were scattered on the couch and floor. Lamp shades torn off. Cups and saucers littered and stacked on the table and floor. 

You hung your bag up by the door and took off your shoes, before looking back over to Jervis. 

He had definitely seen better days as well. 

His hair was coated in grease, his face sweaty and paler than usual. He looked like he had been wearing the same forest green bathrobe for days if not weeks. 

Jervis was rocking on the heels of his feet as he let you take in the outer representation of his inner turmoil and depression. 

"I…um…" Jervis tried to speak up. His heart cracked as you waited on him to continue with sincere ears. 

"Wasn't planning on having company…" He scratched behind his ear, nervously. 

"It's okay, I did pop in unannounced but…I was worried–" You began to explain your motive but was cut off. 

"Why? W-why bother…" 

You quirk your eyebrow at him for a moment. "Because I care about you…I know I haven't been around much and I feel guilty for it but I just wanted-"

"Don't waste your time or breath on me…I'm far from forgiveness and beyond help…"

You walked over and attempted to grab his hands in yours. "Jervis, that's not true, who told you that?" 

Jervis looked down at his feet, as his hands rested in yours but didn't return your endearing grip. 

You had a tight smile as Jervis decided to stop responding to you. He tended to shut down when words became too much, swirling in his head between the rhymes, his thoughts, and what he wishes to say. 

"It's okay, you don't have to say anything. But I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry it took me so long to come back." 

You started running some water into the bathtub. Occasionally putting your hand through the water until it was warm enough to start filling the tub.

Jervis was still in the living room. Too exhausted to really argue with you to leave him be. Plus deep down he supposes he was glad to see you, before things got too dark again. 

"Hey, Jervy!" 

His heart skipped a beat, you hadn't called him that in…years. 

He turned his head down the corridor and saw your head sticking out of the bathroom. 

"I ran you a warm bath, you don't have to wash or anything, just relax, yeah? I'll pick up a little in the living room in the meantime…" You offered. 

You, you did what? You're going to do that? 

Panic softly set in, he knows this feeling. 

Something he's always felt for you, but reserved it. Pushed it down. Not wanting to hurt you after so long…or worse, like he did to most…

He hopped off the couch and made his way to the bathroom. Your smile almost made him smile back in return. 

"Just take it easy, I'll be back in a bit with a change of clothes. Just yell for me if you need anything." You pat him on the shoulder, before closing the door and you start cleaning up the living room. 

Jervis had to admit, it did feel nice being in here. The water felt like an engulfing warm hug, slowly rinsing off the grime, sweat, and dirt off his skin. The warm water caused his skin to redden a soft pink. 

His swarming thoughts from before still lingered but they were much fuzzier. Hidden behind some weird mental fog. 

The weight remained however as he fought on how to conduct himself with you. He could hear you moving around just outside the door. The clinking of dishes, the roaring of a vacuum. 

A knocking sound broke him once again from his reverie. 

"Are you doing okay, Jervy?" 

No response. Jervis tried to move his mouth and conduct words but nothing came out. 

"I'm coming in, okay? So…hide yourself." You chuckled softly. 

You entered the bathroom and were happy to see he at least got into the tub. You wanted to ask how he was, but felt it would fall on deaf ears. You set his change of clothes by the bathroom door. 

"Here, you don't need to do anything, but…" You walked over to the side of the tub, making Jervis slightly jump. 

"Sorry, sorry. Didn't mean to scare you, but, we gotta do something with this hair, okay? Will you let me wash it?" 

Jervis hated to admit it but that sounded splendid right now. He was sick of his hair sticking to his face and being everywhere. He nodded. 

You smiled brightly, excited for the positive response. "Thank you, I promise I'll be gentle."

"N-no…uh…thank you…" Jervis mumbled. 

"Don't mention it. I just wish I got here sooner. Looks like you had tea parties without me." You joked, giggling softly. 

He softly mustered an amused scoff in return. You were always one to entertain his Wonderland fixation. You didn't question it or ridicule it. You understood and encouraged it. Even made a claim to being The March Hare (or The Dormouse on days when you were particularly sleepy and longed for a nap.)

You got behind Jervis' head with the bottle of shampoo and conditioner by your side and a couple of rags. You put a generous amount of shampoo in your hand and began scrubbing his strands. 

The contact was really nice and felt amazing. Better than all the beatings from Batman or the Arkham Asylum wards he was used too. 

He almost whined when you stopped. "Jervis…I'm gonna need you to breathe for me, okay?"

Jervis didn't even realize he was holding in his breath as you scrubbed his scalp. After a moment he slowly exhaled and began breathing in and out. You continued washing and rinsing his hair before repeating the process with conditioner. 

You two sat in comfortable silence with the occasional sloshing of water whenever you had to rinse Jervis' hair. 

The swelling panic deep in Jervis' gut was throbbing at this point…along with something else. 

You weren't under his mind control. 

You were still your own being. How were you so nice? You know better than anyone what he's capable of, but you choose to come anyway and you chose to stay. No matter how much distance he tried to keep from you so he didn't result in his usual…antics. 

There was no denying his feelings for you anymore, in this vulnerable and intimate state. He loves and adores you. His only friend, his March Hare…he just didn't know how to respond or react…how they say…appropriately. 

"Y-you don't have to stay here any longer. You're free to leave." Jervis came back up from rinsing the rest of the conditioner out of his hair. 

"Jervis…if you want me to go. I can, but I don't want to. I've missed you and I wanna help you." Your hands were still on either side of him in the water. 

"Why? Why do you wanna stay? Knowing very well what I can do…what I do to…what I've done." 

You took your hand out of the water and cupped his chin in the palm of your hand so he could look at you.

"Jervis, I've known you for a decade…and you've never not once offered or tricked me with any mind control whatsoever. And you want to know why?" 

Jervis nodded, but you still answered anyway. 

"Because you don't need to. You know you don't need to. And you never will need too. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to explain that to that dark dingus." You rolled your eyes at the mention of Batman. 

You could count on both hands and then some the nights that Batman was literally breaking and entering into your home to ask about Jervis and what made you special. 

It's because you were fucking kind to him. You liked Jervis. He's quirky, intelligent, and can be kind but you could only be so kind anymore after the world kicked you down so many times. 

You wondered just how small Batman's so-called "rogues gallery" would be if people were kinder to others and didn't seek to take advantage of other human beings. 

It saddened you immensely to see him go down the path he did when there was no way for you to interfere but you couldn't say it surprised you either. 

You looked back into his eyes, your hands moving from his chin to his cheek. "I'm aware of your past…transgressions. Your m/o but I'm not scared or worried. I do mean it, and you can quote that it's actually me…" 

You turned and rotated your head around to show the lack of headgear, microchips, and any other cranium influences. 

"...I care…no…I do love you Jervis Tetch. I'm not going anywhere…not anytime soon." 

There was a beat of silence as Jervis took in what you said.

You saw his lower lip start quivering as they fought to speak or keep in the growing pressure in his eyes and throat to cry. 

You smiled softly, and with zero care for getting wet; you wrapped your arms around him and embraced him. 

It took a minute but he slowly returned the gesture. You could feel him press his fingers down into your lower back and his arms tighten around you. 

"T-thank you…" He whispered softly in between sniffles. 

"Don't mention it." You let him go and sink back into the tub only to realize you're just as soaked as well.

You couldn't help but laugh as Jervis looked at you nervously when he realized he had gotten you wet. 

"It's okay. It'll dry, I figured it was a good idea to pack an overnight bag." You chuckled. 

Jervis felt guilty now, not for any reasons before, but for the way he kept stealing glances at your skin that was see through the wet white shirt. 

"Do you think you can clean yourself while I go change?" 

He could, he absolutely could. He wasn't a child. But damn it if he wasn't just the tiniest bit selfish for your touch and attention now. He didn't want you to get away. 

As if you possessed mind powers of your own, you jokingly rolled your eyes. "Okay, okay, I'll just finish what I started and then change, how is that?" 

You laughed in disbelief as for the first time that night Jervis actually gave you one of his signature giddy grins and an encouraging nod. 

You got back down on your knees beside the tub and grabbed one of the rags and lathered it with soap. 

Before you began washing his body, you playfully plopped the rag onto his face, causing you both to laugh. You did take the chance to clean his face and head but being mindful of his eyes. 

You were relieved to see Jervis start feeling better but it was even more satisfying to feel the tension in his neck and shoulders finally disappear. He was actually relaxed and loose. 

When you got lower under the water however, something stood at attention that you didn't think about and Jervis forgot to mention. 

Jervis gasped as you got closer to his groin and grabbed your wrist. "I-I can take it from here-I…I'm sorry." He ruined it. His one chance of true companionship was dashed because of stupid primal responses and desires.

"It's fine, Jervy, really." It really was fine, you didn't mind one bit. You were kind of flattered more than anything. 

"Y-You mean you don't mind?" 

You shook your head, "not at all, in fact if you allow me too…" 

Jervis gulped. He would love it if you did, actually. You caused it after all. 

"Y-yes, please." 

You leaned in and kissed his temple as your hands dove back into the water. You let your hand trail up his leg, occasionally groping his thigh as you got closer to his cock. 

Jervis gasped when your hand finally gripped the base of his cock. You slowly began stroking and tugging at the base, just to start the pace slow. With every pump you went higher and higher up until you finally got to the head. 

Jervis was a flushed red panting mess as you continued your gentle but steady strokes, occasionally squeezing his head in a way that made him whimper louder. 

Above the water's surface, you continued to peck sweet, endearing kisses along his face. His forehead, temple, cheek, nose. Everywhere he was comfortable with for now. 

You were still somewhat shaky from your confession and Jervis' lack of reciprocating or response of one, but you knew he would say it when he’s ready in due time. The fact he’s letting you stay, treat him, and “help” him…that was enough. 

You began picking up the pace, with faster and tighter strokes from his base to the tip. You saw Jervis slightly convulsing and his breathing became more raggedy and heavy. You were so focused on getting him to the precipice of pleasure that you almost didn’t feel his hand come up to your cheek. 

“C-can I…can we…k-kiss?” He managed through his groans and whimpers. 

The elation you felt as you happily leaned in and pressed your lips gently with Jervis’. You felt the quick intake of air through his nostrils. Your lips vibrated slightly as he groaned into your lips, before sighing contently. When you pulled back and broke the kiss, you smiled at the look of pure bliss on his face. 

A complete opposite of the stern, tensed forlorn expression he had when you first walked into the door. 

You removed your hand from the tub and got up and began actually drying off your hands and arms.

Jervis was about to finally get out of the water that has already gone cold a long time ago, but was taken aback by your next actions.  

Without so much as a second thought you removed your top and bottoms right there in front of him and changed into the light blue puffy shirt that he was supposed to change into. 

You didn’t notice how you absolutely stunted the neuroscientist as you quickly made your way out of the bathroom. “Don’t worry, I’ll be back with a change of clothes for you!” 

When the door shut and you left. Jervis was left alone again, to really let it all sink in what just transpired. 

The way his heart was skipping beats but with love and elation more so than anxiety and guilt. The smile on his face wasn’t turned up, crooked and mad. It was natural and it felt nice for once. 

Jervis quickly got out before you could shock him again and began drying himself off. His back was towards the door as you opened it with a fresh shirt, pants, and underwear. You slowly crept behind him and put your hands over his eyes. 

Jervis gasped slightly from the shock, before chuckling at your playfulness. 

“Guess who?” You whispered sing-songy in his ear. 

“Hmm…oh is it the Cheshire Cat? The Carpenter? Or-or the Walrus?”

You laughed softly. “Nope, I’m actually invited to the Tea Party.” 

“Dormy?” 

You shrugged. “On my more sleepy days, absolutely.”

“Oh, I know.” Jervis reached up and grabbed your hands and removed them from his eyes. He turns around and smiles at you. “It’s my darling March Hare.”

“But of course.” You smiled as you pulled him into your arms. You gave him a kiss on his nose and reluctantly let him go. 

“I’ll let you get dressed, its not too late and I doubt you’ve eaten anything. I’ll make something quick and then we can head to bed, how does that sound?” You opened the door, about to head to the kitchen. 

Jervis smiled widely, beaming with happiness and love he hasn’t felt in such a long time. “That sounds splendid, my dear.” 

“Perfect! See you soon!” With that you left the bathroom again and began whipping some stuff up in the kitchen. 

As he changed, Jervis couldn’t help but smile in pure delight. All his memories and thoughts that were weighing on him and suffocating him finally dissipated like steam from a tea pot. He had someone that cared for him, not just for what he could do but for who he is. 

The notorious Mad Hatter of Rogue Gallery infamy. The lonely wretch that is Jervis Tetch. 

When he is with you. He felt he actually had a chance.

[part-timewonders]

wip game!

yay, thank you @glitterwitch1!

List the titles of your top 5 priorities for WIP updates (link your fics for new readers!)

An upcoming scene, event, or detail in each fic that you’re looking forward to writing

Bonus: make a poll for your followers to vote on which top 5 WIP they are most excited to see an update on!

Tag 10 writer friends!

5 WIP titles:

just think of the fun things we could do this one is mostly complete! it needs some polishing and also the explicit scene feels... meh...? but it's very close to being done, and i have a deadline i'm trying to meet on it, lol. but i can't share anything more because it's going to be a gift...

dream a little bigger, darling I NEED TO WRITE THE GODDAMN ENDING TO THIS THING. but it's a prideshipping inception AU, which i am generally excited about anyway. but i don't really know how to end it?? am i excited about having to wrestle with this conundrum? not really.

haunt all of my what-ifs also nearly done! i just haven't really found the right time to post it, and it feels... clunky. it needs refining. but i do really like the premise, so maybe the editing will go quickly?

trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat i'm excited to finish writing the KaibaLand date scene. :)

i can go anywhere i want (just not home) this is a crack fic that i love and was hoping to finish last year before it totally spiraled out of control, but i can't seem to string together all the sections into one coherent story. however, there is a first kiss scene that i need to figure out eventually??

I am not going to make a poll but I will tag some people (not 10) for funsies! @le-quignon @cardamumblessing @emseebeans