#started relistening to the black tapes

[murkycran]

2023 is apparently the year of me revisiting fandoms and pairings which I know have very, very little content outside of the source work. That’s right y’all, I’m ready to be hurt again.

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

(book to show, show to book, the meta continues)

Season 1 episode 3 [Is My Very Nature That Of The Devil]

- Louis: *tries to read*

Lestat: *bla bla bla*

Louis: "if you don't shut up and leave me with my books I'm going to start a social commentary and ethics conversation"

Lestat: "... Never mind. Let's go hunt."

Louis in that white suit is daaamn fine.

Oooh, so the conversation about only eating the "evil" ones starts there. Louis munching on that cat kills me every time.

- Oh, hello Antoinette. Love that we go from 19th century violinist Antoine to 20th century music hall singer Antoinette. Very nice change.

[Louis] "'This ain't your kind of music.'

[Lestat] 'You can pretend you're a vegetarian. I can pretend the fool.'" - part of me thinks that Louis meant by that "this is Black music, a Black folk band, and you're still a white boy, even vampire that you are".

Lestat schooling everyone about music, sassing everyone and playing the piano divinily, absolutely delicious. And then Louis' absolutely fond little smile, even when he's arguing with Lestat, he just loves him so.

- Ah! [Daniel] "Yeah, you know, I gotta say, it's not so much the minute details, Louis, rather the total rewrite that's giving me pause here." - that's the part. That's the crux of it. That's the character development of Louis who's done rejecting the depth of his feelings for Lestat and the role he's played in his own tragedy, regardless of Lestat's abuse, and ready to accept it and talk about it.

Love Louis' face relistening to his 1973's words versus 2022. The face of a man going "ah shit, I really was messed up back then".

- [Daniel] "'Fuck the 'Wolverine Blues'. Ken Burns can choke on the footnotes. It's the abused-abuser psychological relationship I'm talking about.'

[Louis] 'I do not consider myself abused.'

[Daniel] 'I mean, usually when you're a little too close to it, the abused still loves the abuser, but you flipped it completely on its head.'

[Louis] 'I'm not a victim.'

[Daniel] '50 years later, you talk like he was your soulmate, like you were locked in some fucked up gothic romance. Why?'"

First: Daniel's a petty bitch and he's getting to the bottom of this business whether Louis works with him or not. And Louis is equally petty and bitchy, answering Daniel by reading part of his own memoir and mocking him.

Secondly: well, yeah, it is a gothic romance, that's the genre. But it is a Contemporary Gothic romance. Contemporary Gothic expands on Classic Gothic. I wrote an essay about Contemporary Gothic using the movie Only Lovers Left Alive last year, I need to translate it from Spanish to English so I can share it. But I feel like I could reuse part of this essay to talk about IWTV book (inscribed in Classic Gothic) versus IWTV show (tending towards Contemporary Gothic). One more essay idea to develop later. Let's table this.

Thirdly: my little Loustat shipper heart is very happy.

And fourth: hey, Danny boy. Remember that conversation in a dozen of sessions because that will come in handy to explain a looooooot of things... Devil's Minion fans gleefully cackling in the background. And Armand isn't even in this scene. Talk about irony. And foreshadowing.

[Louis] "'This is the odyssey of recollection.' The tapes are an admitted performance. This is the premise of our interview. Half a century later, allow me my odyssey. [Daniel throws the tapes in the trash] Now who's performing?"

Louis being heartfelt but still hiding beneath his veneer - you know when he starts to be honest, or as genuine as he can at this point, when he starts to drop the accent. I swear I'm going to stop raving about Jacob's voice work at some point, but it's such an important part of the character, of who Louis is and how the audience can understand Louis, that it deserves an entire essay of its own.

And then Louis sasses Daniel and sets the tapes on fire, because that's not a performance at all, that. Pot meet kettle.

- [Louis] "Rigged to burn, Daniel" - foreshadowing...

- [Louis] "I barely had the energy to hold a book. My libido was not what it'd been. I understood the indulgence. I let it happen." - why are you such a liar, Louis. Stop fucking lying, Louis.

On a serious note, Louis' eating disorder emerging from his identity crisis, the clash of his religious upbringing with his new reality colliding with his lifelong depression... Who made that guy so relatable. But notice how there's a slight part of Louis' new diet here that's in direct reaction to Lestat's refusal to hear him and talk to him. They each punish each other for their perceived failings by acting in the way that'll hurt the other the most, even if that way hurts them too. Louis by letting himself starve and losing his energy when that's all Lestat wants him to do, Lestat by having several affairs and flaunting them, even when he explicitly says "I do everything for Louis". By the way, that little throwaway line? Lestat being genuine and fully honest about his feelings and motivations but playing it as a joke. If Louis had been hearing he'd have caught it and maaaybe we could have avoided some of the drama. Maybe.

- Oh, the whole Antoinette seduction scene is fascinating. Notice how Lestat barely looks at her? He only has eyes for Louis. And Louis cannot stand his gaze, he has to retreat. Says he understands, but then leaves in a huff. Disasters.

[Louis] "'So you didn't kill her.'

[Lestat] 'No. She has talents.'

[Louis] 'Aren't I enough?'" - excuse me while I go scream.

[Lestat] "We're communicating so much better now." - baby, no. That ain't communication. You two are still talking two different languages.

[Lestat] "Of course. Of course. Of course. As long as you come home to me." - that's way too many "of course", 'Stat. Maybe add a couple dozen more to reeeeally make your point that you're not bothered AT ALL by the idea of Louis seeing other people. Hypocrite...

- Welcome to WW1. Business, racism, capitalism, and the fantastic Miss Bricks. Can't wait for Tom Anderson to get eaten, that guy rubs me off the wrong way. Gotta love that Louis' standing up for himself. Aaaaand hello Jonah. Oop, Lestat's already staring and going insane with jealousy. Meanwhile Louis doesn't even remember he's got nieces. Looots of little crucial hits in this scene, between the poker game, WW1 come a-knocking, Loustat's fuckery and Louis' getting further and further away from his human family.

- [Jonah] "'Ain't aged a day since I seen you last.'

[Louis] 'That's the moonlight lyin' is all.'" - hi, Nicholas Sparks called, he says that line belongs in The Notebook and he's claiming copyright for it.

[Jonah] "'And most of why I signed up is I kept hearing something about something they call 'European sensibilities'. They care less what you look like or who you're lookin' at.'

[Louis] 'Yeah, I got someone.'

[Jonah] 'I figured as much. No ring on your finger?'

[Louis] 'Not a woman.'

[Jonah] 'Well, what's he like?'

[Louis] 'He's... a lot. It's not perfect. But we kind of have this agreement.'"

Yeah, believe me, racism and homophobia are very alive in Europe too. Though... The roaring twenties are right around the corner and that's a decade I would have loved to experience in Paris.

Hey, look! Louis has come around about his sexuality, is that the first time he comes out willingly and peacefully? Yey, progress. Also I love that he has explicit permission from Lestat to have his own affairs, but he feels uncomfortable about at it at first. But still goes for it 'cause you know. Gotta show Lestat he ain't bothered. Should have fed first tho, stupid. Also, Lestat overhearing Louis calling him "a lot" and "not perfect" > direct parallel to Claudia hearing Louis calling her a "burden" to Armand in s2. Louis is so good at being casually cruel to and about those he loves.

[Louis] "'Good fit, this uniform.'

[Jonah] 'Well, it's the moonlight.'" - sorry, Nicholas Sparks on line 3 again, he said that moonlight line is actually too sappy for even The Notebook. Said we can keep it, he doesn't want to pay our dentist note.

- Daniel Hart's music is fantastic.

- Ah, Lestat's jealousy crisis. Aw, the domesticity. Ooh, wait, love how the memory changes. You can see Louis struggling to remember which memory is accurate.

- Arf, Louis being rejected from his own family house and then breaking down the door. Mamaw du Lac, Mother of the Decade, everyone. Poor baby. The curse of the vampire. Downward spiral getting worse. And then coming home and seeing Lestat entertain the regiment? And then the news about the Azalea. Nervous breakdown about to happen. Oh, Lestat flexing his powers. Love that. Notice the blood trail coming from his ear? It appears again when he saves Louis during the trial. He's not without his limits. Regarding his powers or his feelings.

[Lestat] "I heard your hearts dancing" - so first of all, awards for Sam, when? Secondly, brb, need to sob a little. And third, Nicholas Sparks on the line again, wants to know if the writer of these lines is available to come work with him.

[Lestat] "'This is not a life!'

[Louis] 'That's' cause you took my life! I got nothing! I lost everything! I lost my brother. I lost my family. 'Bout to lose the last fucking thing I care about.'" - where are the awards for Jacob and Sam for heaven's saaaaaaaake. Also, love how the music briefly stops between 'everything' and 'brother'.

- [Louis] "When your mother sees the Devil in your eyes, it's a hard assessment to abandon. Am I from the Devil? Is my very nature that of the Devil? I had hedged against the question, but now it completely overwhelmed me." - Lestat and Armand had that conversation a century earlier...

[Daniel] "Take a Black man in America, make him a vampire, fuck with that vampire, and see what comes of it." - thanks for the social commentary, Danny, don't even need to do it myself. Now eat those assholes, Lou.

- [Louis] "You said I'm arrogant? Maybe I am arrogant! [...] I'm a vampire." - okay, can I soliloque about Louis please? Have I said he's my favourite of the entire books lately? As someone who has been called pretentious more than once just because I know my own value and refuse to play stupid, that part, yeah, that part gets to me. Louis finally knows who he is and refuses to pretend he's less just to please others. And as a lesson that I've finally embraced this year especially too, I like that. I like that a lot.

Oops. Louis just started a civil war in New Orleans. Fun. Like Lestat says, it's not on Louis tho. He merely "provided them the excuse".

[Louis] "And that's why you and me ain't never gon' work. That's why you're always gonna be alone." - oooh man, that was harsh. And only half deserved. And cruel in that typical Louis way. Also, wrong. But you're gonna have to wait another century for that. Oof, Lestat's face as Louis leaves, the crumbling, the desperation oozing out of his entire soul, heart and mind...

- "I ran from the Quarter that night, ran to where the violence spread most wild. I stumbled through the streets like an irrational child who had tested his strength on the small bird and now asked 'can I make it whole again?' - Can I help you? Please let me help you. - Their faces ran past me like snow in a terrible wind, unaware that it was I who had brought this retribution. It was I who should pay for this sin. And then... [Help me!] one of those inconceivable moments where who you were before and who you would be forever after is marked in time. [Help!] A rooming house, now a fire trap. I could not save the Azalea. I could not save Storyville. I could not save the aunt on the wrong side of the wall, but I could save her. My light. My Claudia. My redemption."

... Brb, need to scream in a pillow. Oooof. What a tirade. Louis, Saint Louis, Saint Louis, bearing the weight of the cross on his shoulders... Selflessness being selfishness, trying to help to try to alleviate his own pain and guilt. Doing good things out of a need to feel useful or at peace with your own conscience is not a bad thing, you're still helping whatever your motives, but when it starts making you unable to see the people you're trying to help as people, and starts making you see them as tools to relieve your tortured soul and conscience, are your good actions still good? Or the pavement on the road to a very dark place? Guess we'll let Claudia tell us her opinion.

episode 1 | episode 2 | episode 3 | episode 4 | episode 5 | episode 6 | episode 7

[andy4yippee]

DAMN. analysis (not beta read)

Hello. this is an analysis of one, or the darkest album from Kendrick Lamar. it goes into many themes of religion, guilt from religion, love, trauma, death, etc.

I'll start with BLOOD.

the first track.

it starts with "Is it wickedness" "It is weakness?" "You decide."

"Are we gonna live, or die?"

Wickedness - the quality of being morally evil or wrong

Weakness - a state or condition of lacking strength/a quality or feature seen as a disadvantage or fault

The back cover of DAMN. seems to represent wickedness. while the front, seems to represent weakness.

This actually, continues to be a theme throughout the album. each song stands for either wickedness or weakness. that last line, may not mean much, but it means so much after you fully understand it. you can interpret the song into whatever story you want, no matter what way it's played.

in BLOOD, it's a pretty short song, and it seems simple- but it bites you back In the ass when you relisten and understand the full album.

Kendrick helps an old blind woman who seems like shes lost something.

he decides to go over and help her, and says "Hello ma'am, can I be of any assistance? it seems to me like you have lost something. I would like to help you find it."

she replies, "Oh yes, you have lost something. you've lost, you're life."

and Kendrick gets shot and dies.

WOAH! right? You're like, what the hell is happening?

now, this may be some kind of metaphor, but, if it was a real encounter..

huh? kendrick is ALIVE? it seems super random, right? did the old woman shoot him, did a gang shoot him, did he shoot himself? whats going on?

To make sense, we have to go to the next song.

DNA.

In this song, Kendrick states 23 things that are inside his DNA. a strand of DNA contains 23 chromosomes.

he seems very confident on this track. too confident. so, why is Kendrick being murdered on the first track??

these are the 23 things he states are in his DNA -

loyalty

royalty

cocaine quarter piece

war

peace

power

poison

pain

joy

hustle

ambition

realness

kill shit

millions

riches

dark

evil

rot

troublesome heart

soldier

murder

money

sex

There are a lot of negative things in this, but there's a lot of good too.

this song seems to be more associated with wickedness, it even has evil in it, which is in the definition. the way he raps also seems aggressive, not weak.

onto the next track.

YAH.

in this, he seems tired, way more vulnerable, and weak.

this song visibly represents weakness.

Kendrick reflects on his fame. He's afraid he'll work himself to death, he's tired of the media saying shit. his radar is 'buzzing' and he becomes aware of how much his career affects him. he says he's tired of being gossiped about, on fox news, tv, interviews, etc.

when you see YAH, you'd think it's a abrv. for YEAH.

but, YAH is the name referring to the closest name to god. it fits, due to the religious themes.

another important line is -

"im not bout a' religion.

im an Israelite.

don't call me black no more"

He states he's not about 'a religion' although, this album contains themes about him BEING religious. seems confusing right? just like BLOOD.

He's not religious in any way, but he does call himself a Israelite.

in the bible, a Israelite are gods chosen people.

"these people with be cursed with confusion, frustration, and illness until they follow God's will."

so- what's this mean? we learn more In this album that, Israelites are all people of color.

his cousin carl, (theres a tape of a phone call in one track), that he believes that people of color are God's isrealites, and that they'll be cursed of all 'the bad shit happening'.

but, Kendrick, doesn't seem to care, he focuses more on his carreer.

that brings us to-

ELEMENT.

in element, it starts with "KUNG FU KENNY, AINT NOBODY PRAYING FOR ME." "GOD KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS ON EARTH STAYS ON EARTH." (kid capri)

lets go more into that last line. its a bit like, 'what happens in vegas stays in vegas', a term to promote for gambling, etc, saying that no one will know that you've done stuff if you do go there.

so if you take that in context, Kendrick realizes that :

nobody is praying for him, and that no matter what he does he'll end up damned in hell anyway.

he states he doesn't give a fuck about whats happening to him, and he says he would die for his career. this represents WICKEDNESS. you can hear it in his tone. he insults other rappers, and says he's the best rapper. its a response to his weakness in YAH, that he doesn't give a fuck that he's cursed.

see a pattern? weakness, wickedness, weakness, wickedness...

but then, Kendrick realizes.

he does give a fuck.

FEEL.

this starts off with,

"aint nobody praying for me." x3

this features one of his prouducers, VP, a female, named chelsea bylthe saying the same. this is to show that even in music, in his team, no ones loyal, no one truly cares.

this one visibly shifts to WEAKNESS. kendrick realizes...wait. what if I AM cursed. i DO give a fuck.

in element, kendrick hides in his rap career, to escape the fact he's 'cursed' or that he's 'damned'.

FEEL. lets out those feelings.

Kendrick feels like hes lonely, like no one truly cares, and that he's truly ALL ALONE, and that every in the industry is an enemy. he feels weak, so he fights back in this song to seem anything but that.

he still speaks about how hes the best rapper, but how its full of toxic people, showing weakness.

he starts to come with the fact that he might actually be cursed. 2 songs back, he was kind of mocking that.

LOYALTY.

This ones a short anyalisis. its a song about Kendrick trying to get people to pray for him, by having loyalty people by him.

people who he trusts, he needs loyalty.

but, this one shows weakness. the pattern breaks.

PRIDE.

this is considered the worst possible sin of the seven deadly sins.

pride makes you feel above everyone, even god.

this song is likely his post popular on the album, and its a very important song.

"Loves gonna get you killed. But Pride's gonna be the death of you and me..."

confusing, right?

but, you can notice, that Love will simply get you KILLED. pride will be the DEATH of you.

Death seems almost like it would be the end of you. the end of your soul, while love would simply kill you.

In this album, we can see how pride infects him throughout the song.

he states he cares more about his lyrics than others. he says that in another life, a perfect world, he was there.

maybe in that perfect universe, there is a Kendrick who cares about others- but he doubts there's a universe where he doesn't have pride like this.

this track shows weakness.

HUMBLE.

this is THE turning point in the album.

kendrick talks about trying to overcome his sin. pride, but, the fact that he cant help himself from throwing shots at other people.

this track shows wickedness, but almost accidental wickedness.

he wants to be vulnerable and get rid of pride, but he cant seem to do that.

Hes taking shots at other rappers or people, telling them to sit down and be humble.

almost like, "ill be humble, but you better sit down and do the same."

LUST.

this is another of the seven deadly sins. its considered as when sexual pleasure is isolated from the fact of making children.

its a very sexual song. infact, i never noticed how bad it is lol.

it tells the routine of a man/woman who only live for short kinds of pleasure, and wake up to do the same.

it also tells the story of how Kendrick has to change, but how he doesn't. he states he hasn't only been lusting over sex, but fame and money. he fears god now, because of his sins.

this song is the first time Kendrick talks about being afraid of being damned by god to hell.

he begins to be afraid of god in his healing process. he becomes more religious because he fears hell.

he drifts more toward weakness.

LOVE.

this is the oppisote of lust. he states his relationship with his wife.

but, he says he values loyalty more than love.

"ill rather you trust me than to love me."

going back to loyalty..

in the music video, a Kendrick in white gets choked and killed by a Kendrick in black.

they sort of reappear in LOVE.

the one is black is happy, in love, and in a happy relationship in the LOVE music video.

and the one in white is unhappy, and in a toxic, unhealthy relationship.

in love, you can see that he overcame he lust with love.

so..why is there a Kendrick in the music video, doing the COMPLETE opposite? he chose love in the end, right?

he overcomes his pride with humbleness and overcomes his lust with love. he lets go of his wickedness. right?

XXX.

it shows a poor understanding of America's problem. song talks about how young black kids in America will find a way to survive.

we get introduced to johnny, who doesnt want to go to school and wants to be a rapper like his uncle. (this may be keen, his younger cousin)

on a phone call, Kendrick says that if anyone touched his family he would kill that person and openly admit it- then, he quickly ends the call, saying he has to speak at a convection.

it talks about gun control, evil acts in America, etc, and how people turn a blind eye due to the American dream they're living.

kendrick talks about america like the complete opposite of a perfect world referred to in PRIDE.

XXX. could be the 'USA' X rated, but no ones exactly sure.

FEAR.

this starts with a voicemail from duckworth/carl, talking about how he knows that Kendrick feels like no one prays for him and he explains how they're cursed, and how it'll keep going until he follows gods wishes.

we get a verse from Kendrick sung backward.

random, right? but it actually means were going BACK in time.

he talks about when he was a kid, and his abusive mother. she threatened to beat him, and if he ran to his dad, she said she would hurt him more.

his father was the only one who could help him with his mother, and he really looked up to him.

the second verse takes place 10 years later. he was 17.

Kendrick mentions one fear: Death.

the lyrics speculate how he could die.

in 10 more years,

when he was 27, he has many more fears, saying that all the money and fame is a joke from god.

GOD.

God is a DIRECT response to fear, especially to the voicemail.

kendrick didn't want to feel cursed, so he turned to god, which to him, turns to weakness. vulnerable, that's how it seems to make him feel.

he says to god, don't judge me for my past mistakes. he says he was beaten, he did bad things..etc. he feels fear of god. its his way of asking god to not send him to hell.

he says he lives through fear. fear of god.

wickedness, or weakness? Which one?

weakness, right?

but, what if, he was never meant to choose?

YOU decide.

DUCKWORTH.

duckworth is the last track on the album.

he realizes that his biggest enemy was him, this whole time.

"i always thought it was me versus the world"

"until i realized its me versus me"

This is a story. a story of two men, one named ducky, one named anthony.

anthonys life turned into a life of crime. at 15, he was drug dealing, and continued in tih business. he gets approached by cops, gets offered to be a confidential comforter. he says no, and goes back to KFC to get something to eat.

Ducky worked the window and had a young son. he wanted to make money to get his son to college, but, obviously, he's not the only one who needs money, anthony does too.

ducky was aware, and he knew Anthony would. so, he got on his good side, gave me extra biscuits or extra chicken.

Anthony became fond of ducky, that he never robbed the KFC.

Ducky, is Kendricks father. kendrick was signed to anthonys label, and they met together, they laughed together.

because they realized that if ducky wasn't so kind to Anthony, Kendrick would have NEVER become a rapper.

WRAP UP.

to conclude.

you can play this album anyway. it can end, or start anyway. and it will still make sense.

if you play it backward, kendrick goes into a loop of crime, and died in blood, being shot after going into a life of crime after his dad dies from Anthony.

or, he can get better, closer to god, and be successful.

overall, this album was played out perfectly. and my hands hurt. thank you, bye.

THAT WRAPS UP, DAMN. THE ANALYSIS.

thank you.

[podcast-queen]

I finished TMA and was itching for something to listen to next and found myself relistening to first episode of The Black Tapes Podcast knowing damn well I hate the way the entire show ended.

The second I started tho I was completely immersed once again. 😔

[mio-nika]

I promised @turquoisewaves07 podcast recommendations

So let's get going. I will not obviously include every podcast I ever listened, only the ones that I really like and sometimes relisten.

1. Knifepoint horror.

Possibly my favourite podcast ever. It's the series of stories written and narrated by a guy called Soren Narnia. They are not usually connected and would sound similar to oneshots of MAG (almost every story starts as "my name is..." just like the "statement of..."). They usually very weird in nature, and it's really hard to explain why I like them so much. I usually recommend starting from "school".

2. Limetown.

Oh, the classic story about "every living person disappeared from this small unassuming town in the middle of the night".

It's like. One of the most famous ones in my list? They even had show adaption?? I never saw it, even tho every time I listen to it I think " fuck, it was really made with visuals in mind". Especially the last scenes.

3. The White Vault.

If it still snowing where you are it's a great one. Small expedition goes to a remote arctic station to fix things. Bad things happen. Interesting that almost the entire crew (both characters and actors) are bilingual and it plays big part in the story. Well, except one character. The Canadian-russian guy played by Peter Lewis. But I like him so I'm not even THAT mad.

4. Mabel.

Hi, so do you like LESBIANS? Mabel is really hard to recommend, because it made almost like a theatrical play where characters are talking in verses. It's a story about fae, lesbians, haunted buildings and women emancipation? It's extremely good. You will want to write lines over all of your walls, on your hands, on your heart.

5. The Big Loop.

It's the second podcast in the list, that is basically one guy writing not connected stories. He's name is Paul Bae and he more famous as one of the authors of "The Black Tapes". He left after the first season and he's probably the ONLY reason why first season is good. I highly recommend starting from "The Surrogate" if you like horror and "F.M.L." if you into hopefull dark comedy.

6. Alice isn't Dead

Do you remember how good were early podcasts writtend by a WTNV staff? I think we starting to forget. It's another "do you like lesbians" story, but its actually so much more. I cried real fuckin tears in a bus after the last episode, not from sadness, but from overwhelming hope for humans.

7. Death by Dying.

I've already recommended it in another post. But if you liked WTNV you need to listen to Death by Dying. It's a series of obituaries from a small weird town written by a guy who are very very VERY weird. He talks to a Angel of Death, he adopts cannibalistic cats and writes his abituaties more like personal stories of stupidity.

8. Small Town Horror.

This one usually gets overlooked, probably because of the very generic name, but for me it's really a hidden gem. Traumatized guy are trying to put together things that happened to him in his childhood and why he's so fucked up. If you really want to read story written by an unreliable narrator, this one is for you.

9. Within the Wires.

I already sang my praises about how good was the early podcasts written by a WTNV, but I will repeat it here. THEY WERE REALLY GOOD. It has a very different styles of storytelling from season to season. The first one is told through a series of mindfullness recordings. The second one is an art lections. Every season happens in the same universe and expands the over-arching story.

10. Spines.

I was thinking that to put as a last one and mostly torn beetween Spines and Girl in Space, but I'm a horror visual girl, so I choose Spines. Our heroine wakes up with no memory in the bath full of blood with a cultist-looking people and a probably other cult victims around her. Slowly she learns that she really is and in that horrying reality she was born.

[oaxleaf]

mag 28 - skintight

melanie!!! :) aside from jon, i think she's my favorite character for reasons we'll get into further on, but it's go to hear her

melanie and jon wanting to tear each other's throats out was so fun when it wasn't literal. they're both such hypocrites in this episode and i love them

"chances are very strong that i won't believe you either" why did he even take this job lmao

melanie admitting crimes on tape is so funny. the fact that jon presumably doesn't bother to report it is funnier

georgie!!!

it wasn't until, like, my third relisten of Anglerfish that i recognized sarah's name, which is odd considering i'm usually good at remembering minor characters, but it was a fun thing to notice going back

funny how melanie and andy live together but i don't think he ever really gets mentioned again? at least i think so?

"light black jacket" i know this probably means a thin black jacket, by my immeadiate instinct was "light black? you mean grey?"

i can excuse being an eldritch fear murder-avatar but i cannot excuse being rude to your coworkers

do you think the stranger is the one providing the cigarettes or does she need to buy them in bulk herself?

"a slight drop in temperature around on in the morning" lmao isn't this place devoid of heating? i can understand making fun of this honestly

what is that smell even? is it some taxidermy thing?

the skin stuff is really gross. almost more flesh-like than stranger-aligned

"weird vibes" oh really?

props to melanie for at least attempting to get some evidence

christ jon, is it really the time?

"i should have known this was a complete waste of my time!" "probably" have i told you i love them?

jon acting like he doesn't know georgie is really funny, but i do like to think they started getting back into contact a bit after this which is why she was so willing to harbour him from police after what we were told was a pretty bad break-up

the stranger going to networking events is also a hilarious image. quite frankly this episode is funnier than it is scary

i love this episode even is i haven't really relistened to it before. i love melanie and i love her and jon's interactions

[aflyingcontradiction]

The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 200 - Last Words

Jonah: Jon? I-I-Is that you? Uh, I, I was having the most wonderful dream…

And here I was feeling slightly sorry for him about his fate.

Jonah: I’ve seen more than I could have lived in a thousand lifetimes, and every moment was so –

This is so alien! ALL YOU'VE SEEN IS HORRORS, DUDE! How is that desirable? The immortality bit I can just about wrap my mind around (although even that is difficult for me) but in exchange for THAT???

Jon: It ends now. All of it. I am going to take this world that you used me to create, and I am going to burn it out.

God, I love Johnny's acting! The intensity!

Jon: I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I’ll be leaving these things that you serve trapped and starving in their own private hell.

That did have me going "Waaaaait a minute, I'm pretty sure that wasn't the plan anymore". Before this I straight-up hadn't realised Jon just went ahead against everyone else's vote. Which I really should have, what with the absence of Martin.

Jonah: We both know you that don’t have it in you –

How can you be both omniscient and so clueless at the same time?

Jon: the flaying of skin… burning, retching on the smog of… hide, hide, hide… it is not real but still it comes to… falling through the pitch black daa-aaaaaargh!

Have I mentioned that the acting is amazing? This section gave me actual physical shivers.

And by the time these minds had reached a point of intricacy to lie and scheme and puppet one other, they had also learned to conceive of war.

I appreciate that the Slaughter once again gets musical accompaniment - the drumbeat starts up in the background the moment Jon starts speaking of war.

And so the things that were fear began to sing

Oooh, the creepy ethereal singing in the background! I love it!

Martin: What’s that?

What does Jonah/Elias's body even look like at this point to make Martin go 'What's that'? I mean, I kinda assumed it's just ... a dead body?

Jon: It’s still me, Martin. I’m still here. Martin: How would you even know?

Not sure what Martin actually means by this. I mean, how do any of us know that we're still us after some huge life event, really? I don't think that Jon is in a different position from the average person on the street here.

Jon: Do it! The knife’s just there. Let them go.

It does feel weird that Jon would choose to actually change his mind at this moment. I mean, yes, love and all that, but he seemed preeeeetty set on NOT allowing the Fears out into other universes.

Basira: Still works.

Hm, so what does it mean for the tape recorder to still work, actually? What are the implications here, seeing as the avatars apparently lost their power.

Melanie: You remember what happened when they found Simon Fairchild?

I assume he was torn apart by a vast crowd of people?

Melanie: And I’m sure Rosie’s keen for us to take the Admiral back off her hands.

Heh, the cat made it through the apocalypse, seemingly unscathed. Go, you, fluffybutt!

Basira: If anyone’s listening… Goodbye. I’m sorry, and… Good luck.

... thanks?

My impression of this episode

By the time this episode came out, I actually had become part of the fandom, so I'm well aware people have OPINIONS on how the show ended. I don't actually feel all that strongly about that part, oddly enough. I was just a little disappointed that the greater part of this episode was a recap of things we basically already knew or that didn't feel all that interesting to me. I didn't really NEED a history of the Fears. I'm not sure what I wanted but the statement really wasn't it. I would have liked more focus on what exactly made Jon change his mind or maybe a minute or two more on the world post-Fears. Mind, I really, really enjoy the soundscaping and the acting in this episode.

[nellasbookplanet]

With Worldhoppers nearing its end, I'm thinking about future projects (spoilers: it won’t be fanfic, because I've already let this eat a year of my time and I'm itching to get back to my personal projects). And what the hell, I get to talk about my original writing and process on my own blog (sorry to everyone who’s here for critrole stuff).

What I'm most curious about is whether I can approach my original work the same way I have fic writing. Because the thing is, I'm actually terrible at finishing things. I rewrite and revise and eventually get bored and wander off into my next project. Before Among the Nein, I had only ever fully finished one story, and the only reason I did was because I was under a hard deadline (and also a hard maximum word count of 90k, which was painful but ultimately for the best because wow I can go off on unnecessary tangents when so permitted).

But when writing fic, not only did I finish the story, I did so in a fairly respectable amount of time. And I've been wondering why, and if I can translate that into my own work.

One aspect is obviously the feedback. Fic writing comes with immediate validation after every posted chapter, urging me to quickly write the next to get another kick. That part I obviously won’t be able to translate into original writing. What else?

I'm definitely more structured in my fic writing. I did outlines and research before too, but with fic I've taken a very chronological, one chapter at a time approach, with a very meticulous outline that I update/change frequently. Normally I'm more sporadic in my writing, doing random scenes according to a vague plan and tying them together retroactively. With fic I can’t do that, seeing as I want to post every chapter as it was written, and I can’t exactly post them with big holes in them. I still do random scenes, but they are generally random scenes meant for the same chapter, not wildly different parts of the story.

Obviously my fic writing process has drawbacks. There’s very little time to revise or add things like foreshadowing (though having a good outline helps in that regard!). I'm really curious to try and merge these two methods and see if I land on something that’ll actually work well in the long run.

[fox-guardian]

[ID: A digital drawing of Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood on a muted green background. Jon is lit with orange with a purple under-light, and Martin is lit with yellow with a teal under-light. Their clothes are all partly tattered and torn, with rips and patches.

Jon is a short, thin, Arab man with brown eyes and brown skin covered in various scars, including a burn across the side of his face that disrupts his beard. He has long, curly white hair half-pulled back in a bun with stripes of black tape coming out of it and a beard to match. He has half-moon glasses on a green beaded chain and a small stud earring, and is wearing a black turtleneck, green sweater, long brown coat, dark jeans with red knee patches, purple boots, and red fingerless gloves. He is holding onto the straps of a brown backpack and looking sadly towards the viewer. His right leg is wrapped in bloody bandages and the pantleg is torn.

Martin is a tall, fat, white man with brown eyes, freckles, a tooth gap, and bright red hair with white streaks pulled into a low ponytail with a beard to match. He has round gold glasses and gold stud earrings, and is wearing a blue sweater, a yellow striped scarf, a light blue denim hoodie, cuffed blue jeans with large rips on the thighs and colorful patches on the knees, blue socks, red sneakers, and blue and red striped fingerless gloves. He's also wearing a dark grey backpack with a sleeping bag tied to it, and he is looking uncertainly off into the distance holding his hands in a t-rex position. He has a bloody bandage taped to his throat. end ID]

~~~~

kept forgetting about this one. i had started it during my pre-finale-anniversary relisten and just. never completely finished it. here it is. here they are. enjoy the thems

[darlinghowl]

relistening to the black tapes podcast is fun bc the host, alex, is having problems sleeping bc an ancient demonic monk cult is trying to summon an apocalypse demon to reset the earth or whatever and she’s hearing noises and seeing things. meanwhile the skeptic doctor she works with, strand, is trying to find his missing wife who’s been gone 17 years bc they got a new lead that might be tied to the death cult, he’s also not sleeping. and her producer/one of her best friends, nic, is just like “how can i help you alex” like you can start by staying over in my house??? you could not PAY me, in any kind of horror scenario but especially paranormal, not to have at LEAST one other person in the same room with me at all times. if i knew i was potentially being plagued by literal demons i would have both strand and nic in my home with me posted up by a door and we would take turns trying to sleep like that scene in teen wolf where scott and isaac try to watch over scott’s mom to make sure the thing that’s hunting ppl doesn’t go after her lmfao

[moon--boy]

Alex Reagan from the Black Tapes podcast, just because I started relistening to it and almost died. 

[ashes-in-a-jar]

Tma relisten Episodes 11-15

So this round already has two other posts out of it about Oliver because he Bae.

These have alot of ideas regarding entities changing around reality, controlling non victims to set the stage, and turning around what people love most to their worst fear. Also insane abilities of the crew to obtain hard to access info and evidence! And some more Jon sass. Enjoy!

11 dreamer

Wow this episode had alot. I made a separate post with a theory about Oliver's statement here and a realization regarding him and Jane Prentiss here. They are alot to unpack

Oliver is so. Freaking. Relatable! Learned economics and hated it. Nearly had a breakdown like him because of it. "going to stay with some of the few friends that had survived my year of stress-fuelled outbursts and constantly cancelled plans." yep. That.

Boyfriend Graham ey? You notebook eating Graham?? Wow that guy is full of surprises.

I love the dream sequences and their descriptions it's a really beautiful thing to try and picture.

Its interesting how he went from passive to desparate to passive again about death. He tries but can't help. I wonder when the dreams started to bother him so much he sought after the silence of point Nemo. Was it when they became so full of red because of the apocalypse coming closer? Hmmm

Another person named John. I guess that makes sense it's a common name. But I forgot how many people are fully named in this podcast. Hundreds of names to come up with! Jonny I'm quite impressed!

He worked with Jane Prentiss in the magic shop! I can't believe I forgot about that! Wow small avatar world indeed.

"It led me to a room, the label of which was still visible, and read “Archive”. I entered to see walls covered with shelves and cabinets stretching off into the distance. These shelves were coated in a sticky black tar, which I knew at that moment was the thickened, pulpy blood that pumped through each and every one of those veins." everything that has to do with the Fears I bet. Full of death and destruction and stolen from the veins to be out on display for the Eye's pleasure.

Yo Jon is scared of this he's seriously considering going to Elias for advice

" I had Tim look into it, as I don’t entirely trust the others not to have written it as a practical joke" wait. He trusts TIM? Not to do a practical joke? How. Why. Eh?

"died in the line of duty" fuck you Jonah.

Now Jon will get every new statement immediately when it's made. Perhaps this was Elias' intention all along. To scare him into making sure he does not miss any paranormal activity recorded by the institute.

12 first aid

I'm not immune to more Gerry badassery, hell yeah

And we get polish Martin which hell yeah! Even if Jon doesn't believe it. I'm sure he's repressing the fact that he's thoroughly impressed.

I think it's really interesting the effect entities have on people who are decidedly not their victims. Everyone leaving no questions so the entity can set the scene for the scare. Like with Gillespie how no one lived in the apartment building he was in etc. Alot of work into a handful of people being genuinely scared.

Gerry's burns stopped at the neck? How did he manage that. Also it's hilarious to imagine that he's like "yes burn all of me but please. not my goth makeup"

Zippo lighter with eye design!! And Jon has web design! They are brothers (joke but still really interesting)

Liquids were boiling around her and she didn't feel the heat. Also an interesting effect just for the scare.

Gerry got eye superpowers like Jon if he can function while injure and filled with painkillers.

“Yes. For you, better beholding than the lightless flame.” Gerry knew she'd be haunted by a Fear from that day on and realised that perhaps being watched would be easier for her specifically to deal with than the Desolation. I guess that's a way of assessing people. Which fear would least bother you.

Jon is already enamoured with Gerry you can tell. He can't wait to hear more from him. Just you wait Jon.

They really can access alot of information huh. CCTV Interviews files. Pretty impressive for a non-research team. They're so good at it they'd rather do that than actual archiving.

13 alone

The sound editing in this episode is not that great it was a bit to get used to.

We get a glimpse at the Lukases which is... Ugh

Jon is actually trying to be nice. Granted it's not working and she is a bit of a standoffish person herself who just went through a bad time but alot of her reactions are not his fault. He was trying to be considerate giving her space to record but he did stay when she asked.

She had already leaned into the Lonely before the incident it's interesting to see how some of these statements start with a person actually liking the aspect that later turns to fear. Same happens in lost johns' cave.

Evan Lukas sounds like an avatar of the exact opposite of the Lonely. At least to her. That's a really interesting effect from someone, especially a Lukas.

But maybe dying wasn't his family killing him but him not feeding his patron which he tried to leave. Really tragic.

She was in Martin's domain eyyy!

It's got a bit of buried aspects to it with the grave stuff and all.

"My fingers dug into the soft cemetery dirt as I looked around desperately for anything I could use to save myself, and my hand closed upon that heavy piece of headstone. It took all my self-control to keep a grip on that anchor, as I slowly dragged myself away from the edge of my lonely grave." The headstone was her anchor? But it said forgotten. I wonder how it helped her pull away. It probably had to go together with Evan's voice. Like the rib and the tape recorders having to work together! I just wonder what meaning the stone had for her.

"I’d be tempted to chalk this one up to a hallucination from stress and trauma, if it wasn’t for the fact... " God he does believe her heavens. He's not a skeptic!

This is when Jon's dreams start which... Good luck Jon.

14 piecemeal

Rentoul is terrifying sonofabitch and I would never want to meet him irl

I remembered them talking about how he was supposed to be a person who cursed alot and they couldn't do it because of sensor and I have to agree this could have been much better for the story. I tried imagining curses in some places.

LOL Jon reading this is funny. Trying to voice act the bad boy. Doesn't sound right on his voice.

With these kinds of statements happening alot where the person does something bad, the institute has to be in touch with police over them. The nda has to include that.

Hello Angela! I really wonder what her deal is. She scared the bid bully so she gotta have creepy vibes to the extreme.

Another lighter! Hmm do I have to start following the lighter motiff in this podcast. This one has a topless woman on it. Flesh lighter?

Salesa's also appearing that's cool! Noriega was probably looking for an artifact to reverse the curse. Didn't work tho since they left with the crate. The buried crate perhaps?

I'm wondering. Was this written? Because the statement sounds like he's talking. If so, Where's the recording?

Oh Jon your attitude towards Martin is so bad. He works so hard and it's not even in what he's good at, sorting and filing like he knows how to do from the library. God.

What's the deal with all the furniture gone? Did he think it'll help not get injured? He's not that smart if he thought that would help him.

15 lost Johns' cave

Ack a bad statement she was not a good person all around

Another example of the entities setting the stage by controlling others not to interfere with the victim's experience.

Also another example of the person liking the subject (cave exploration in this case. And the dark for that matter) only for it to turn against them.

Not much to say about this one other than its one of the scarier ones for sure. And her recording in the end is really the cherry on top. There is alot of discrepancy between what she believed happened and what actually did which shows how much the fear plays with and changes around reality. That's also how she manages to lie in a statement to Beholding. It wasn't a lie. It was her version of reality and she did not remember saying those awful words.

Taught me alot about cave diving and how much I will never do it in my life.

The Dark was mixed into this as well so it wasn't purely Buried.

Btw Where did she get the candles she was found with?

It feels like she made a choice. Didn't want to spend her last moments with her sister and then didn't want to die. She chose her sister to be taken over her. Her sister called for help and the candle coming closer might have been her! But she just shut her eyes.

How did Tim gain access to the recording?? Wow that's some prime evidence.

Martin is claustrophobic amongst other things huh? Live how Jon just dismisses this as an excuse not to work. At least he didn't push it.

[cantarellangel]

angel's list of podcasts

Podcasts I'm up to date with:

The Magnus Archives: What got me started on podcasts again after wtnv in 2013. Really like it, the slow buildup to the overarching plot is v impressive. Frightening sometimes. (8.5/10)

Alice isn't Dead: Some genuinely touching moments. Dragged a bit in the middle, but I really liked it. Not all that attached to the characters but I'm making this list a year later. Lesbians!(7.5/10)

Archive 81: This is..... alright. I suppose. I mean I don't care about any of the characters and the plot is.... fine. I've got to listen to Season 3. Not scary. (6/10)

Caravan: I didn't like any character in this :( or the plot :( maybe i don't like non horror podcasts? representation is cool but i need to like the story as well :/(3/10)

Death by Dying: Solidly okay. The main character was funny...... but like thats it. The story was solidly okay. (4.5/10)

Gender Forking: This is a twilight podcast. (7.5/10)

Girl in Space: I liked this! Solid likeable characters and a plot that's actually halfway decent. Am I just rating these podcasts lower bc they're not horror? Has the magnus archives flowers for algernon-ed me? (6.8/10)

I am in eskew: REALLY LIKED THIS ONE. Lots of allegories and metaphors to draw parallels to that i recognised in some dark corner of my pitiful heart. It took me a while to get through this bc of the ambient rain sounds and the main character is a british man narrating so I kept falling asleep. Didn't scare me though, even though people say it's scarier than tma. (9/10)

Inkwyrm: I was told this was like devil wears prada in space and it is....... but like it's not that funny. And like instead of Andy growing more Miranda-like, in this Miranda becomes a better person which would appeal to some people i guess but not me. (4/10)

LifeAfter/The Message: I liked LifeAfter more than The Message tbh but it's good. Says interesting things about technology and capitalism but not in a boring black mirror sort of way. I liked it! (7/10)

Limetown: This is like LifeAfter but with more episodes and a more likable main character. Ep 2 warning was the scariest thing I've ever heard. I really like stories about brave women seeking out truth to an extent that everything else (including their own safety) becomes background noise. (8/10)

Mabel: This is so poetic and pretty and I love the characters and world and story and plot. Unfortunately it's so poetic I've missed whole chunks of it, and so i have to relisten. (8.5/10)

Old Gods of Appalachia: This is really fun, I like how the narrator refers to the audience as family. The plot is also really good. Horror. (8/10)

Olive Hill: This is a good one, like Limetown but the production quality is like rather indie. But it's the best modern adaptation of the changeling metaphor that I've seen. (7.5/10)

Philosphize This: Well it's a philosophy podcast. I've not finished it but it's good. (7/10)

Rabbits: Solid premise, annoying narration, bad execution and ending. (2/10)

Spines: I like this! Really good body horror!! Not frightening but like I love it. (7/10)

Stellar Firma: Well it's okay. Definitely more fun listening to it while interacting with the fandom than taking the pure source material. It's fun, it's alright. (7/10)

The Domestic Life of Anthony Todd: This is nice except I have barely any idea whats going on like world-wise and I don't like any of the characters. It's also not horror, god, do I really have a bias against non scary podcasts? (5.5/10)

Time:Bombs: This was funny. Also 3 episodes. (7/10)

Wolf359: LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS. Sometimes scary, sometimes funny, mostly a drama and I love all the characters. Really want to write a character driven drama like this (9/10)

Wooden Overcoats: Got to be real this isn't funny and tbh it's kinda boring. I've only listened to the 1st season and I may drop it. (3/10)

The 6 disappearances of Ella McCray: I liked this one! It's short and cute I think (5/10)

Mirrors: I liked this a lot more than Ella McCray, the characters were fun and the plot is intriguing and heart-warming (6.5/10)

Zero Hours: Love this as well! Though I'm glad I listened to this before 2020 since it's about the end of the world. (8/10)

Podcasts to be listened to:

Sayer

The Black Tapes

The Deca Tapes

The White Vault

Unwell

Within the wires

Podcasts I've dropped:

The Penumbra Podcast: Tried a solid amount of eps but it was a slog and i didn't like any of the characters or the plot or anything

The Bright Sessions: Why's the narrator so... aloof like? ugh. It's also a bit over produced

The Adventure Zone-Graduation: How do you make a boarding school story unfun? :(

The Adventure Zone-Amnesty: No idea wtf is happening here

My Brother, my brother and me : Maybe I just don't like these dudes.

Rusty Quill Gaming: Sorry Alex :( Maybe I just don't like gaming podcasts without a plot :((

Lore: Just not my style :/ Maybe I don't like real stories

Welcome to Night Vale: I love wtnv but like without a solid overarching plot it loses steam & direction.

(Last updated: 19-09-2020 3:25 p.m.)

[tmileseason3fanfic]

A spooky season relisten.

Alright folks so it’s spooky season, and we’re gonna be hosting a Halloween relisten of all of The Black Tapes in the Discord. starting at 7 pm EST on Friday, October 30th. Additionally, I will be playing the TBTP drinking game if other people want to as well. 

Hope to see you guys there! 

[404-brainnotfound]

The Black Tapes Relisten 2020

ONE-OFF RELISTEN PARTY

Feb 2, 2020, 3pm EST / 12pm PST

Episodes planned:

1. 104 - Turn That Frown Upside Down

2. 107 - Cabin Fever

3. 211 - About a Boy

4. 306 - Into the Black

If you can’t make Feb 2, @aproclivity has offered to run a second session on the evening of Feb 1 to accommodate other folks.

WEEKLY RELISTEN

Tentatively every Sunday at 8pm EST / 5pm PST starting Feb 9, 2020, but we can adjust scheduling and discuss on the Discord server as needed. We’ll listen to 2 episodes each week gathered on Discord.

DISCORD LINK

https://discord.gg/xdGNGfT

On a personal note, I’m so delighted this generated so much interest. Looking forward to talking with you all!

[mio-nika]

The podcast anthology stories recs that I promised you. The bonus part.

Let me tell you about The Big Loop. If you were destroyed by listening to a Black Tapes in some point of your life. You could have gleamed that first season feels different.

I don't have any evidence, but I think the reason is that at the start Black Tapes had two writers, and one of the left after the first season. And this writer was Paul Bae.

Paul Bae created an anthology podcast called The Big Loop. And it's GREAT. Most of it can't be called horror, but alas. Here's a list of episodes you NEED to listen to:

FML & Smoke - it's actually two different stories, but it's following the same character, so let me go. It follows this assassin who're killing people if they want to commit suicide, but for some reason don't want to do it themselves. One very long contract later and you WILL die in seven days. You don't understand how funny (and uplifting) this story is! The first part is kinda garbled, the audio quality is not super good and accent is thick. But if you're native, I don't think you will have problems.

The Surrogate - this story rattled me. I don't think I ever experienced this level of sadness while listening to a audio story. It follows a girl who's work is to carry a grief of other people. Basically something happened to you, you cannot process it yourself. So you go to this clinic, where all your memories about the experience are transferred to a surrogate carrier. I mean. It's already a stellar concept. But the story obviously goes much deeper with it.

The Promise - story about a gangster and a dog. DOG WILL NOT DIE. But story includes scene of self mutilation, so if you're uncomfortable please skip it. I think I cried first time I listened to it. I almost cried the second time when I relistened it now. But. It's a good story?