#stay precious forever oscar

[victoriademedici]

10 September 2023 | Crown Princess Victoria vibing with her son Prince Oscar, who is unimpressed, as they attend Prince Daniel’s Race Day for Generation Pep at Haga Park

[fantasywritten]

ship tag drop!

… wow i have a lot of ships lol… and yet i still want more 👀

[ln444]

✩ moonlight

summary: oscar never realized how much he got used to your company until you're miles away from him.

cw: f!reader, fluff, smut, dirtytalking, oral (f), fingering, oscar is crazy in love:(.

now playing: moonlight by ariana grande

requested my anon

_________________________________________________

six weeks. six long and lonely weeks since you been away from oscar. the empty side of the bed, the lonely nights clutching your pillow instead of him, it felt like you became too familiar to it. and you hate it. sure, it's not the first time that you're apart due to his f1 commitments, but it had never lasted that long. usually, you always find a way to join him during the grand prix, to support him and share his world, but this time was different, you needed to stay here in australia to get some things done.

the fact that you couldn't make it to the races made a gnawing sensation grow in your stomach. but today was finally the day, the day he come back for a precious week before diving back into his f1 driver life — with you by his side this time.

every minute spent apart from oscar felt like an eternity, and you couldn't bear to miss a single moment of his time back home. so you decided to meet him at the airport. the anticipation built as the minutes ticked away, making your heart race with a mix of excitement and impatience.

the moment oscar appears, the world faded into the background. there were no greetings, no words exchanged; you just fall into each other's arms, holding each other as if there is no tomorrow.

as you pull away, your eyes meets his and you exchange a loving and long gaze. a smile appears on both of your lips and you don't even need words to understand each other. just the sparks in his eyes makes you understand how much he missed you. oscar's hands cup your cheeks, caressing them, it's like he wanted to make sure that you're real, that you're here with him.

your lips meets in a kiss that contain all the longing and love you've been storing up during your time apart. the kiss is slow and gentle, you're tenderly exploring of each other's mouths and you can feel the butterflies explode in your stomach. it seems like the world around you fade away as the kiss deepen, full of hunger.

oscar's hands found a way to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. your bodies fits like missing puzzle pieces and the kiss become more urgent, as you could never get enough of each other.

out of breath and after what felt like an eternity, you finally pull away and your eyes meets his again, the sparks in it brighter than before. you can't help but smile, your hands sliding in his messy hair, trying to adjust it.

"i missed you", he places a kiss on your nose, "so much, baby". your smile grows bigger and you plant a sweet peck on his lips, "i missed you more" you whisper against his kissed lips before sliding your hand in his, intertwining your fingers, "let's get you home, babe"

the way home was filled with silly stories and laughs, accompanied by stolen kisses while oscar kept his eyes on the road. when you finally made it in the apartment that you and oscar shared, you could feel the heavy weight on your heart beginning to lift and the discomfort in your stomach has been replaced by the warmth of oscar's presence.

oscar messily throw his stuff in the corner of your shared bedroom. he just have one thought in mind right now; holding you as close as he can for as long as he can. so, with a tug on your waist, he fall backward onto the bed, pulling you down with him. he gazes as you with intensity, taking time to examine every details of your face, as if he wanted to paint them in his brain forever.

"god, you look even more beautiful than when i left," he murmured, and you couldn't help but blush, your cheeks warming with a rush of affection. without hesitation, you leaned in to capture his lips in a tender kiss. oscar's hands slid instinctively beneath your shirt, sending shivers directly down your spine. it's like oscar was discovering your body all over again, his hands exploring every inch of your stomach, chest, and back, making you whimper through the kiss, which had now become far more intense.

oscar never truly understood the depth of his love for you until these weeks without you. he didn't realize how much he cherishes having you by his side every day, with the joy of your smile constantly brightening his days. he treasure the way you always make sure that he's okay, that he's sleeping and eating well. how you always make sure that he feels loved and happy. every little habits of yours, endearing or not, was something that oscar adores. he loves everything about you. maybe being apart for a while had his advantages because oscar finally realized that he's crazy in love with you.

lost in his thoughts, oscar doesn't even notice that you're now both naked. you look at him, a bit puzzled and concerned, your hand stroking softly his cheek. "hey, you're okay, baby?" you ask softly, a little out of breath from the intense make out session. your question remains unanswered, oscar is too captivated, gazing at you as though you hold the entire universe in your eyes.

"i love you" he suddenly says, his chest filled with all sort of overwhelming emotions. your eyes widen, a sudden wave of emotion washing over your entire body. you can't help but lose yourself into oscar's eyes, which are so sincere and tender that your heart feels like it could burst out of your chest at any moment.

"oscar... i..." you whisper hesitantly, the words getting stuck in your throat due to the overwhelming feelings traveling your body. but as soon as you feel oscar's body tense beneath yours and his look changing, you immediately panic and grab his face. you give him the softest look you can, filling it with all the adoration you have for him, saying "i love you, so much".

without any words, oscar pulls you for an hungry kiss, his hands firmly placed on your waist so he can pull you as close as he can. as you moan through the kiss, oscar seized the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, and your two tongues began to dance in perfect harmony. the kiss feels so different, a whole new feeling filling both of your body and it just makes you crave for more.

his lips leaves yours, traveling your jawline to end up on your neck that he start to mark, gently sucking and kissing your skin. the continuous whimpers coming out of your mouth encourages him to go further; his fingers finds your nipples, playing with them. like it's not already enough for you, his mouth joins his fingers, making you a moan mess and your hands slid into his curls.

"oscar..." you whine, looking down at him and he looks back, his lips ghosting your nipple. "what is it, baby?", he knows exactly what you want but he wants to hear you say it. "please..." you pout, your grip on his hair getting slightly firmer. "use your words", his tone is so soft but yet so authoritarian. oscar loves how you missed him and his touch, feeling so wanted by the person he loves create a new sensation inside him that feels so exciting.

"oscar! please stop teasing" you groan softly and he chuckles, kissing both of your nipples and he doesn't hesitate to take his sweet time to get to your core, he even stops to admire it and then his eyes goes back to yours, "fuck, i missed your pussy so much", you can't help but blush, and your thighs instinctively closes. you break the eye contact to throw your head backward and oscar just smirks. he will never get over the effet he has on you, enjoying every single second of it.

"eyes on me, sweetheart" after making sure that you're looking and that your legs are opened for him, he doesn't waste any more minutes and start making out with your pussy, sucking softly on your clit to taste you and a soft groan escapes from his lips, feeling overwhelmed by the missed feeling.

you, on the other side, is a literal mess, you could feel all the sensations you felt the first time he ate you out. with a hand on his hair, you arch your back, repetitively moaning his name and oscar is now completely pussy drunk. he's eating you out like there's no tomorrow and it doesn't take you long to reach your climax, not even finding the time to warn him. it didn't stop him though, his tongue keeps lapping your core, tasting you again and again, never getting enough of your pussy. he makes sure to lick you clean, not leaving any drop of your juice.

"you taste so fucking good" he groans, looking at you proudly and pulling you for a messy kiss. completely breathless and shaking from the orgasm, you try your best to kiss him back. the kiss is sloppy, both craving for more. it gets even messier when two of oscar's fingers slips inside you. you can't even keep up with the kiss, too busy trying to control your moans and the way your body shakes.

"you're feeling so good, so wet, just for me" you can feel his breath against your neck and it drives you completely insane. it's not like you didn't think about this when oscar was away, touching yourself for hours and imagining his fingers deep inside you. but, right now, it's not your imagination. everything is real; his fingers inside you, his lips on your neck, his words. just by this thought, you feel another orgasm grow in your stomach, holding tight into oscar's busy arm.

"coming... oscar!" you almost scream and oscar just keeps going, even fastening his moves to accompany you through your orgasm. he places gentle kisses all over your neck, whispering sweet words and telling you how good you are doing. it's just too much for you, your back arch as you reach your climax and you unconsciously plant your nails into oscar's skin, moaning his name a few times.

oscar leaves a few more kisses on your neck and jawline, making sure you catch your breath before going back to kissing you, softer this time. you try to transfer all of your feelings through the kiss and oscar can feel every single of it, making his heart explode in his chest. your bodies won't leave each other, like they're meant to be linked forever, fitting each other like puzzle pieces.

completely dizzy, oscar pull out to admire you, his eyes brightening and he's completely dazzled by you. "i want to make love to you" he whispers softly, his fingers ghosting your cheek like you're the rarest piece of art ever. you didn't even know that your heart was capable of taking that much love and affection.

"do it. i'm all yours." you whisper back, like the world around you doesn't exist anymore and it's just you two and your love. oscar can feel his chest burning from all the mixed feelings and he swears that he could go crazy just by looking at you.

with sweet touches and whispers, he makes love to you during hours, trying to make up for lost time. he doesn't hesitate to remind you how much he loves you and he missed you every time you kiss.

maybe being apart from you wasn't that bad, but oscar doesn't want you to be far from him ever again. in fact, he needs you forever.

_________________________________________________

[all-the-love-harold]

....Back on my Bullshit

Here’s a snippet of what Poppy has been posting on instagram in the last few months 

annetwist, pillowpperson and 1, 569,329 others liked this post

poppystyles: Euro Summer has been an absolute blast. We’ve had our ups and downs, touring with three kids, but they’ve adapted to life on the road better than we have. On stage, you would never guess that Harry has been surviving on three hours sleep and a whole lot of caffeine, but we have had the most delusional, tired, fun over the last few months, it’s certainly a summer we will never forget. Love on Tour: The Residency Edition will be a welcome change.

fan1: Is he wearing a shirt with his own picture on it?

fan2: Stop pretending you’re doing it without help

lookitsnyoh: 🇺🇸 here we come!

addie.thomas, _basselin and 1, 005, 482 others liked this post

poppystyles: Absolutley obsesssed with these two squishes 

gemmastyles: I miss the squish 😍

fan1: stop they are divine 🥰

harry_lambert, thegarden and 1, 710, 486 others liked this post

poppystyles: I only creep on the pre show workouts sometimes……

harrystyles: you could join….

fan1: I’ll join you @ harrystyles

gemmastyles, jefezoff and 1, 639, 597 others liked this post

poppystyles: “Will I look like daddy with my new hair?”

annetwist: Way more handsome 😍 missing you all xx

fan1: Harry’s not his dad…. So no.

thegarden, harrystyles and 2, 785, 438 others liked this post

poppystyles: I can’t count how many times I’ve said that I couldn’t be any prouder of this man, but he keeps proving me wrong and making me prouder and prouder. Years ago 1 night at MSG seemed out of reach, a wild dream. And here we are, after 15 sold out shows, dreaming bigger and bigger everyday

thegarden: The Styles are always welcome back to Harry’s House 🏠 (MSG)

fan1: Forever proud of him

emi.wood, gemmastyles and 2, 193, 176 others liked this post

poppystyles: Can’t believe my babies are both one now. Born three weeks apart my pseudo twins made this family whole, and brought so much joy and love into our lives. Blake, Oscar, we can’t wait to see what this life holds for you.

gemmastyles: Precious babies, I miss them 😍

fan1: How has it been a whole year already

fan2: Where’s the Harry with kids content we follow you for?

_basselin, harris_reed, 1, 793, 698 others liked this post

poppystyles: Danny costume stays on…..

mitchrowland: gross 🤮

fan1: Mood

gemmastyles, thekiaforum and 1, 428, 691 others liked this post

poppystyles: Golf Dad, but with glitter

thekiaforum: Just keep running 🏃‍♀️

jefezoff: Fabulous Golf Dad

[circumstellars]

I meant to do a ff when I hit 700 followers, then in the new year, then 800, then as a spring ff, then summer, and so on and so forth and I kept putting it off. So here's my super rando follow forever in celebration of TUA S3 approaching in a few weeks!

Below are blogs/people that are precious mutuals, and a lot are just people I follow and enjoy content from! If you're looking for good blogs (mostly TUA related obvs) to put on your dash, look no further than this post. Lots of great content creators and friendly fans to brush elbows with. A couple are just there because I love them forever. If I've forgotten you I PROMISE it's human error and not intentional. I'm extremely scatterbrained and forget urls easily.

These are in no particular order whatsoever. Most are mutuals, or just wonderful blogs you should peep. Hopefully this list grows again post-S3!

~~~~~~~~

@matuk-art​ @imrights​ @jellybeanium124​ @conchshell​ @mokolat​ @melivian​ @lonelyboy-in-space​ @allisoooon​ @faithfulcat111​

@residentdormouse​ @sharkneto​ @jjstone​ @allthosesummersago​ @rockmerhys​ @pretty-bratty​ @pastelmochas​ @booksasfurniture​

@freshgratednutmeg​ @sarkywoman​ @firstpersonnarrator​ @watcher0033​ @aye-of-newt​ @littlerit​ @pokemonmasterkimba​

@inksie​ @nimuerofour​ @dead-souls-calling-me​ @purblzart​ @non-plutonian-druid​ @samlambert​ @lilimissboom​ @oskarwing​ @squishitude​

@nyoooooom​ @applefuell​ @clementineofmine​ @theboywantscoffee​ @purliish​ @geometryoftime​ @softforklave​ @i-seeaspaceshipinthe-sky​

@anglophile-rin​ @maundering-marauder​ @daisytwist​ @actualtimetravelingcat​ @taakotuesday69​ @sunriseseance​

@ogaferoga​ @fiercene0n​ @whetstonefires​ @viktorenthusiast​ @kidwma​ @runabout-river​ @salvador-daley​ @capinejghafa​

@hullosweetpea​ @goldieknocks​ @antia-calviz​ @doctorbones​ @spikeymarshmallows​ @rappaccini​ @kidovna​ @disco-tea​

@forestdivinity​ @achilleees-tua​ @not-oscar-wilde​ @theseancequeen​ @michals​ @electra-xt​ @courtneytarynofficial​ @sad-space-monkey-boi​

~~~~~~~~

Just 18 days remain till S3, let's GOOOOOOOOOOOooooo!

Stay brilliant all of you, and let's enjoy the new content drop soon. I know we're gonna blow the dash up with great stuff.

[splitting-infinities]

reasons

Then: Gentle Repose

The atmosphere in Wilde's dream is intoxicating and lovely. Candles burn with scents of mahogany and bergamot. The room is wallpapered with velvet accented flower designs. The drink in Wilde's hands is cool but not yet covered in dewy condensation. He is, in a word, happy. He is also, in a word, dead.

He stares at Zolf's neutral, carefully flat expression, wondering when exactly he fell for Zolf all those years ago.

Wilde imagines what lies beneath that stoic face. He suspects how much Zolf hides. He knows that Zolf is an iceberg, all his depth and emotion under the surface. Zolf is fine, stop asking. Sound familiar? Perhaps that's why they work so well together.

According to Zolf, Wilde is dead. Impaled. Goodness, impaled, what a way to go. Wilde always imagined death would be a bit unpleasant, but here he is, surrounded by the best parts of his life, Zolf included. He's inclined to stay if Zolf stays too. Relax, Zolf. It's all fine.

But of course, it isn't. It never is. Wilde is dead. That's hardly fine.

Zolf gives him the choice. Wilde can stay here alone, dead and gone, or he can follow Zolf back to whatever's next.

It's up to him to make the call. Of course it is. Wilde, ever the decision maker. Ever the person everyone puts their trust in. He can't keep doing this, he can't. Let someone else have a turn for once. Wilde's done carrying that weight.

He's not as good at hiding his anger as Zolf is, but he sure can try.

"Just give me a reason," he says. Please.

And Zolf finally, finally does. Even grabs Wilde's lapel to make the point. It's nice seeing Zolf's composure crack for once in his life. Wilde hasn't even finished his drink and feels drunk from the joy of it. Who knew Zolf could blush.

In that moment, Wilde knows three things.

One: that Zolf actually cares.

Two: that Zolf walked into the afterlife to come for him.

Three: that they're going on holiday, and Wilde's so happy he doesn't actually care where.

-

Now: Breath of Life

In this moment, Zolf knows three things.

One: Wilde is dead.

Two: Wilde being dead is unacceptable.

Three: He is going to do whatever it takes to bring him back, because Wilde promised him a holiday and Zolf holds people to their promises.

He is not focused on anything else. His thoughts are only of Wilde. Of not again and why.

Pressing a thumb to Hamid's forehead to heal him, Zolf muses on how many people he hasn't been able to save. He starts to think about Sasha - and stops.

Even Wilde isn't immune. Lighting never strikes twice, as the old saying goes, but death seems to enjoy striking down the people Zolf loves, over and over and over. For the second time in a year, Zolf faces losing Oscar Wilde forever.

Perhaps he was never meant to be a cleric of Poseidon at all. He wasn't one to revere the raging storms, the capricious nature of the sea, the towering tidal wave. To him, they were merely utility through which to accomplish other things. To him, that wasn't faith.

So, he channeled everything he had into grit, foundation, sturdiness, stoicism instead. Because to him, that was strength. Strength wasn't ephemeral salty sea breezes or footprints in the sand the tide would soon devour. Strength was standing up to the impossible, the grief, the loss, the evil in the world, and saying not today. It was facing the tidal wave head on.

As he gets his one chance, an opening in the battle, Zolf darts to Wilde's side. He takes a nasty hit to the forehead as his price. A concussion is worth it for this.

Wilde will be fine.

Oscar will be fine.

Through blurry vision, desperate and bleeding from the nose, Zolf strains his mind and casts Breath of Life - a delicate spell, more precious than all the gold in the dragons' lairs combined. It requires strength to cast. Grit. Hope. Faith.

With a divine glow that sets Wilde's white hair into iridescent shimmers, Zolf can tell it's successful. That, or his concussion is a doozy.

Eventually, Wilde's eyes open and his pupils into dazed focus. He puts a hand to his chest, where before there was a ragged wound. It's healed now, but the blood remains, staining that ridiculous bard's costume. Wilde looks at him in tender surprise.

Why are you surprised? Zolf thinks. I've saved you before. I'll save you always.

"Get the others out of here," he demands, "and stay safe." There's no time to say anything else aloud.

Except - before, when Zolf waded into the afterlife after Wilde like some kind of Orpheus, they had a conversation about need. About reasons. In the millisecond before Zolf throws Wilde through the door to safety, they have this conversation again, silently, with their eyes.

Last time, Wilde followed him back to the land of the living, and the two of them returned together. Stronger.

This time, Zolf called Wilde back to his side, only to send him where Zolf can't follow. Not yet, anyway. There's a monster to finish off, and Zolf may not look it, but he's angry.

[crapyouknowme]

Highlights of 2020

Tagged by @mfshirtballs - this should definitely be interesting because I'm going to have to wrack my brain...

list your top 10 shows (bl or not) you watched in 2020 (doesn’t necessarily have to be shows that came out in 2020 though!)

tag at least 10 people you appreciated this year

tag 10 more people to continue the tag

Top 10 shows of 2020 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

As I wrote this, I realized that this is in no particular order because I was wracking my brain.

1. Cherry Magic

What to say - this show literally carved itself into my heart and forever be such a warm memory as the year ended. I never felt such a visceral, soulful PURE LOVE at this level in a LONG time. This drama felt... real, relatable and just PERFECT? Kurosawa was such a disaster gay - to be in a one-sided love for 7 years??? WHAT. Adachi.. his clumsiness and his insecurities felt so GODDAMN relatable that I rewatched the show from ep 1-12, 4 times!! 

Thank you Cherry Magic for being such a surprising, yet wonderful gift.

2. Until We Meet Again

I know that the chemistry between Korn/In and Pharm/Dean really struck me as being so painfully beautiful. It got confusing a bit but their pain had a searing affect on me. Watch for the gut-wrenching love and stay for their chemistry.

3. He’s Coming To Me

THIS WAS THE SHOW THAT INTRODUCED OHM TO ME so I’m forever grateful because MY GOD CAN THIS KID ACT??? He just breathes pure talent. The story is bittersweet if you think about it but OH-SO-WELL-DONE by both Ohm and Singto! The story felt like fate and it can get super depressing but then it hugs you like a soft cloud.

4. 2gether The Series

I don’t think I cannot put this show - I was so beyond invested that I would watch even when subs weren’t uploaded on time hoping that I would magically understand Thai. At first, Tine was a complete doofus and in a way grew onto me as an endearing doofus. Then, when Sarawat’s story came to be - I think I literally saw my heart leap out of my throat. A must watch show!

5. 2moons2

I know people were apprehensive about a remake, as was I, but I was willing to give it a chance to see the other two couples’ stories fleshed out. BOY, I was... just invested in Ming/Kit + Forth/Beam more than I thought I would be. It was just nice to see what could have been with the original.

6. Where Your Eyes Linger

AH SHIT THIS GODDAMN SHOW WHAT THE ACTUAL HHOLY HELL WAS THIS SHOW MY GOD. MY HEART. RIPPED RIGHT OUT. DOA. DEAD ON ARRIVAL. 

Tae Joo and Kang Gook.. truly.. TRULY..  were precious and all I ever wanted to do every goddamn episode was to give them the warmest hug. They both needed it. The episodes were shorter than I would have liked but creatively (screenwriting, acting, direction, cinematograph) well-executed. I mean I felt the tangible ANGST between these two IDIOTS whenever they breathed. 

7. Your Name Engraved Herein

Why does this show exist to just hurt me. It’s rhetorical and there’s no if/way about it because even if I were to re-watch it, which I won’t because I maxed out on pain already for 2021, I would bask at the beautiful acting, direction, lighting of this show.. There were many times where I would literally be clutching my pillow with a deathly grip as I watched the pure heartbreaking sadness consume me. So many Oscar worthy scenes SO MANY. I felt like bawling so many times but I would have never finished it if I had let those flood-gates open. What a beautiful, yet macabre movie.

8. Theory of Love

oh man.. this show.. for me, THIRD carried this drama (not that the other actors didn’t do their best). He is one of the best actors I’ve seen and it’s just really refreshing to see someone with NUANCED acting. He conveys his unrequited love with a breath of fresh yet suffocating air. Khai... oh Khai... I don’t think I would ever understand you but thank you for coming around and giving love back to Third.

9. Gaya Sa Pelikula

MY first Filipino BL and it literally blew my goddamn mind?????? LIKE WHAT. The premise of it was literally ‘like a movie’ and so I stayed because I was immediately captivated. If you’re hesitant about watching it because of whatever reason, just know that Vlad and Karl have immense chemistry and truly bring justice to the story.

10. I Told Sunset About You

THIS..fucking show. I MEAN PURE TALENT exists with Billkin and PP because where in the actual fuck did they find these actors? I honestly thought I lost at least 5/7 lives during this show. It is a damn masterpiece and I’ll be damned if I don’t watch it another 11 times. Teh’s internalized insecurities are just so beautifully fleshed out, which is such a contrast to Oh-Aews struggles. To be ripped apart by circumstances at no fault of their own (well Teh had his moments), to find each other once more.. UGH CANNOT WAIT FOR THE SEQUEL.

Honorary Mention: DARK BLUE KISS

I don’t know much people on Tumblr so I’ll just tag @purple-howl @seekingstarlightinthecity @gunsatthaphan 

WHOEVER WANTS TO GO DOWN THIS PATH AND REFLECT ABOUT 2020 SHOWS. go ahead 💜💜💜

[marc-spectorr]

heyyy hello to you too calliee!!💕

i apologise for not replying sooner, i reeeally wanted to but i have a pretty big exam coming up so today was a full day of studying, great way to spend a saturday🙄 so yeah we could say my weekend didn't start in the best way possible, but it's alright.

totally relate to the morning struggle to get out of bed ugh. WHY does it have to be soooo warm, soft and comfortable??! wish i could stay curled up in bed forever, it's so cozyy

and HOW DARE YOU kill me like that by announcing there may be a NEW FIC TOMORROW???!!!!! aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i'm sooo excited (tbh even if it ends up coming out in a week i'll be just as excited lol)

hope your saturday was just as fantastic as you and that you accomplished everything you planned to♡

yeah unfortunately no thirsty asks but can't wait to see their comeback, they're so fun and make me feel less alone about my strange, dirty thoughts lol🥵

love the nickname teddy btw, so cute and fluffy kajhshajajdjkkas🥺🧸💓

also loved <3 anon's idea of this blog being a little book club of Oscar Isaac stans, cause that's definitely the vibe, just coziness, comfort, love with just the right amount of smut🤭 (oh <3 anon, loads of love to you too, you're such a precious soul and seeing an ask from you again made me so so happyyy)

also THE COFFEE PICTURE!!! mmm HELLOOOO??? I'M NOT FEELING SO GOOD. his hands, THE HANDS DEAR LORD HAVE MERCY ON ME wkkahshsjsskhdhdj (so so glad to see I'm not the only one OBSESSING over people's hands, 🌻anon totally agree with what you said and I hope you're having a great day too <3)

last thing, umh HOW can i possibly choose just ONE of your fics to be my favourite??? no, you're asking me the impossible. ugh they are all so goooood callie, i can't😫 literally everything you write just takes me to a whole new dimension that i never wanna leave ugh. you are such a talented writer callie, for real🥺💕 but like IF my life depended on it, IF i had a gun to my head and i had to choose my favourite i'd probably say the morning after. it's the first fic of yours that i read and it made me follow you instantly, so yk it holds a special place in my heart. then i fell in love with all your other works and can't wait to fall even more with each story you create💞💞

as usual this came out a huge mess, just me blurting out every single thing that crosses my mind lmao

i hope you're having a great day/night callie and can't wait to talk some more with you, love you to the moon and back💓💓

-🧸

teddyy, happy sunday to you my love ✨

oh my, no worries sweet !!! school is def no joke haha. but i really hope your exam goes super well :) i’m sending you the best of luck your way, you’re going to ace this and i will cheering you on from all the way over here 🍀🥰

my saturday started out slow but then something came up later on so i wasn’t able to finish writing 😭 but it’s alright! i’m going to work on the fic this afternoon and have it all ready for tomorrow :)) i’ve written half of it so i’m pretty confident that it’ll get done by the end of the day heehee.

and yeeees!!! honestly it’s been so fun with all these asks about oscar and moon knight 😭 just chatting and crying and simping about them together literally makes my incredibly happy like you don’t understand skjdjdjj. i wish we could have one big group chat here where we all can just *sob* at the same time lololol.

but omg you’re too sweet??!!? you’re making me cry right now forreal ahsjdjdkd. i’ve been so highly critical of my writing but your words are always so encouraging and uplifting 😩 i really appreciate all the love and support and ughh this is going to turn into a long sappy post if i don’t stop now so lemme put on the breaks for a sec lmao we don’t want another crying fest @ me.

as always, it’s been such a joy chatting with you love babe :)) hope you’re having a beautiful day and staying hydrated, love you and talk to you soon 💗

[mrslittletall]

Whump prompt: "I am fine"

With Oscar and Solaire.

More than a wound or an injury, how about it being about psychological angst :D?

Title: Guilt Fandom: Dark Souls Characters: Oscar of Astora & Solaire of Astora Word Count: 1.854 AO3-Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30487920

Summary: Solaire and Oscar reflect on the death of the fire keeper after they returned from Blighttown.

(Author's note: The moment I saw the prompt, I knew that I had to use the Amor Fati versions, a fantastic, but angsty Oscar and Solaire centric fic. It is my own interpretation of a certain scene and clearly not canon to it. Please enjoy.)

Oscar sat in Fire Link Shrine, staring at the bonfire, or what remained from it. The truth was, nothing remained. It had been snuffed out. It was different from the destroyed bonfire in the Asylum however, because nobody had removed the coiled sword of it.

Instead, the reason for the absence of the bonfire laid in a cell below the stairs. Oscar's eyes briefly wandered to the place where the Crestfallen Warrior had once sat. He probably would have a snarky comment for the whole situation, asshole as he was.

Oscar got up and approached the stairs. Solaire still hadn't come back. As soon as the both of them had discovered the dead body of the fire keeper, they had found their culprit right away. Who else could it have been, but Lautrec? The knight of Carim had been a thorn in their side for far too long, spewing his poison wherever he could. Oscar had tolerated him far too long and he barely understood how Solaire had been able to stand being around him in the time Oscar had been stuck in a dark and very empty place, unable to be reborn by the bonfire.

They couldn't hunt Lautrec down however. They had returned from Blighttown and the journey left their bodies beaten and their Estus Flasks empty. With no bonfire to refill them, they first had to track down another and none of them was in the physical or mental state to brave the dangers of Lordran once more. So for the time being, they were stuck at Fire Link Shrine.

As Oscar reached the end of the stairs, he remembered that Lautrec had often sat down here. His eyes on the fire keeper. In hindsight, it had been obvious. How they hadn't seen it coming... they maybe had thought that not even someone as vile as Lautrec would commit the sin and kill a fire keeper. Especially because he was a knight of Carim, who would protect his maiden his whole life.

Thinking about Lautrec only made Oscar's wounds sting and give him a bad taste on his mouth, so he rather approached Solaire, who sat in front of the cell with a vacant stare. He must have sat there for hours now. They were undead and didn't need food or sleep, but Oscar himself knew how damaging it was to just be left alone with his thoughts. He knew it very well.

Deep inside he feared that Solaire might have gone hollow.

“Solaire?”, Oscar said, slowly approaching his friend. “You have sat here for hours, my friend.” Oscar paused for a bit, his worry deepening when Solaire didn't answer right away. “...Are you feeling alright?”

“I am fine.”

Solaire's answer came much more immediate than Oscar had anticipated. Too immediate. Oscar had the feeling that Solaire very much was... not fine. It was normal for Solaire. He always would downplay how he felt. He would always put others over himself. As long as he could help people, he felt fine. Oscar knew that he did it mainly to hide his own deep insecurities.

Insecurities I have been a part of causing.

Oscar was an elite knight, Solaire never had been a part of his group. Oscar had gotten his title mostly from social status and family name, but he hadn't been able to do anything when all his brethren had fallen in battle. He had never participated in their cruel jests with Solaire, but he had been indifferent about him as well. If only he could have been Solaire's friend sooner. He hated that he had lost most of his memories, but he hated the man he once was much more.

Who does say that you changed in the meantime?

Oscar shook his head at himself. He needed to stop these hurtful thoughts. This wasn't about him. Solaire needed him right now. Both of them were far closer to hollowing than they wanted, with Oscar even being stuck in a state of half hollowing, so that he never removed his helmet and preferred not to speak to others.

“You don't seem to be fine.”, Oscar said, sitting down next to Solaire.

“I am fine.”, Solaire just repeated, barely acknowledging Oscar's presence.

Oscar thought about his next words. What would be the sensible thing to say? What would Solaire feel at the moment? Guilt maybe? It felt like Solaire might blame himself for having let Lautrec go away, for not killing him, so that he would have hollowed down in the swamp.

“It wasn't your fault.”, Oscar said. “Neither of us could know that he would do it.”

“I did.”

Oscar's eyes widened at the response. Was there something he didn't knew? Should he poke about the issue a bit farther?

“Solaire?”, he asked, deciding to let the other knight take the initiative.

“Oscar...”, Solaire said. “There are things I haven't told you about.”

Oscar held his breath, waiting for Solaire to continue. Solaire surely was talking about the time in which Oscar had been “dead”, to him at least.

“It would warp your perspective of me.”, Solaire finally spoke, after Oscar finally released his breath.

Oscar used his next breath to reply: “Nothing you did could ever make me think lesser of you.”

Solaire had done so much for him, without him, Oscar had long gone hollow. Solaire had been nothing but a joy in his sorry existence as an Undead, he had been his precious friend. As far as Oscar knew, Solaire probably did blame himself for Oscar's death still, because he had insisted on helpin the woman that had lured both of them into the trap that had cost Oscar's life.

Solaire finally looked at Oscar, his blue eyes seemingly staring right through him. “Are you sure about this?”, he said dryly, as if he already had made up his mind about how Oscar would react.

“Yes, I am sure.”, Oscar replied. “Whatever happened down there, Solaire, you can tell me. I promise I won't think less of you.”

A deep sigh escaped Solaire's lips and he started to tell the story. Once he had left Lautrec to die in the swamp (Oscar felt that he still regretted not having killed Lautrec back then), he had found a cave in which a woman with a giant spider for a body had resided. She had attacked him and Solaire had come out victorious from this battle. Then, he found a sunlight medal on a wall. Upon trying to take it, a secret corridor had appeared and..

“The knight of thorns was there.”, Solaire said, nothing but tiredness in his voice, “I saw him and... I saw red. I could only think about, that he was responsible for your death, Oscar. That was all... all I could think about. I didn't simply fight him, I made sure to inflict as much pain as possible on him...”

“Solaire...”, Oscar didn't manage to say more than his friend's name before Solaire continued.

“There was this... woman there... blind, sick, broken. She spoke to me and thought that I was her sister. She was... very important to the knight of thorns...”

Oscar felt like he wanted to hold his breath again, having a bad feeling about where this story was going.

“He took away what was most precious for me right in front of my eyes, so I... I was raising my sword and was about to do the same to him... I... I only snapped out of it, because... because she told me... or more her sister that she thought was me, that she would happily die for her. I.. I couldn't go through with it. This had all been so wrong and then...”

Solaire took another deep breath and then the rest of the words just poured out of him.

“It was Lautrec who killed her, but it could have been me. I almost did it. All because I wanted to inflict pain on the knight of thorns. All because I wanted vengeance for you, Oscar.”

Solaire was actively sobbing now, burying his face in his hands. Oscar could only imagine the pain Solaire had been in. He asked himself how he had reacted would it have been Solaire that had died and not him. How he would have reacted if Solaired had never been reborn from the bonfire.

At the same time, Oscar felt a deep and dark shame bubble up in himself.

“I turned into nothing but a monster!”, Solaire cried out. “And the moment I should have been one, the moment I decided to let Lautrec live, I took the life of two innocent women. That makes me into an even worse monster!”

Oscar flinched upon hearing Solaire talk so ill of himself. He knew that Solaire wasn't... like this. Solaire was compassionate, far too compassionate. It was his compassion that had made him hesitate to kill Lautrec. Lautrec's actions weren't Solaire's fault. If anyone was at fault, it was..

“No, you are not at fault, Solaire.”, Oscar said, grabbing the hands of the sunlight warrior and removing them from his face, staring into his swollen and teary eyes. “When anyone was at fault, it was me. I was trapped in the darkness, that is why I couldn't be reborn, but I didn't make an effort. It was nice, warm, calm and someone was there to keep me company.”

A friend? Did he see the Chosen Undead as a friend? Probably not anymore after the shit they had pulled, but it couldn't be denied they had a history with each other.

“They showed me a world of... peace and serenity. A world in which I didn't had to care about anything in the world. I was so close to just... give in and stay there forever. It was the thought about you, my friend, that made me snap out of it. I knew that you were waiting for me, Solaire, that is why I could return.”

Oscar started into Solaire's face, saw his trembling lip and the unspoken words between them. Instead of saying anything, Oscar simply gave Solaire a tight hug.

“I am sorry, Oscar...”, Solaire sniffled after a while. “I appear to be... not fine after all.”

“I think... neither of us is.”, Oscar said. Or ever has been., he thought. “It's alright, we can figure this out. We have each other after all... we can always figure something out.”

“You don't think less of me?”, Solaire said, his voice hoarse and broken.

“How could I?”, Oscar asked. “You are not responsible for Lautrec's crimes and I promise to you, once we find him, we will make him accountable.”

Solaire finally stopped sniffing and reciprocated the hug. “Thank you... my brother.” (Author's note: This probably won't make too much sense when you haven't followed Amor Fati, which I very much recommend. If you like Oscar and Solaire and like angsty stories, go and read it.

It was fun writing versions of Oscar and Solaire that are not mine and I hope I did them justice. I look forward to the next chapter of Amor Fati.)

[youare-mysonshine]

miss independent || oscar diaz

(gif is not mine. credit to owner💗)

Summary: Oscar has feelings for the reader meanwhile the reader has feelings for Mario. Oscar is struggling to accept that.

Requested: yes!

Pairing: Oscar Diaz x reader, Mario Martinez x reader

Warnings: a bit of angst, cursing as per usual.

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: to whoever requested this, I hope this is what you wanted. I decided to use Mario because I just felt like he fit perfectly. Obviously this takes place during season 2 and amber isn’t a thing lmao I wrote this way before season 3 came out and I kinda just left it because I got stuck, but I’m back and I figured I’d finish it. It’s not the best but ENJOY! I’m open to doing a second part, I have been doing Oscar dirty and I am sorry lmao

__________

When Y/N and Mario had ended their relationship, there was absolutely no bad blood between them - they had been together for most of high school. They were each other’s first loves. They went through a great deal together. They essentially grew together. They had been together way too long to end on bad terms.

No, the reason that they had ended was because Mario had gone away to college and Y/N had stayed in Freeridge, having decided to take a break from school for about a year or so. It hadn’t been an easy decision, but they both ultimately agreed that they should break up - prior to him leaving for college, they had agreed that long distance would be just fine, that they’d be able to do it, but once he was gone, it was an entirely different story. They barely talked, Mario was busy with meeting knew people, going out with his new friends and focusing on school. It was something Y/N didn’t blame him for, she knew what the deal was when he went away, but still, life was getting in the way and neither of them wanted to make the other feel like they weren’t important.

Their break up had been hard but amicable. And it certainly wasn’t something that someone could just get over in a short amount of time. Neither of them knew if they’d get back together again, but the feelings were still there. Y/N was sure that they’d always be there. A connection with someone like that, it didn’t just go away. It’d stay with you, forever.

It had been a few weeks after their break up that Y/N had gone out to the liquor a few blocks away from her house to buy some snacks - call it comfort food - when a green car had slowed down across the street from her to match her pace. Inside the car, which was blasting music so loud she could almost feel the bass of it reverberate against the sidewalk, were about 4 guys. Prophets, she quickly realized, judging by amount of green they wore.

“Damn ma, what you doin’ out here alone? You lookin’ fine as fuck. Let me get that ass.” Was among one of the many things thrown her way. Being a young woman, it hadn’t been the first time that she had been cat called and it likely wouldn’t be the last, but that fact never stopped it from being creepy and making her uncomfortable, especially when it was coming from the Prophets, one of Freeridge’s known gangs. Especially given that they had been following her in their car, going as fast she was going to keep up with her.

Y/N had sped up her walking but that did nothing because they sped up too, still yelling things at her through the window. Her heart had begun racing and she could feel the cold sweat on her forehead - were they gonna follow her home? The young woman had contemplated just booking it and hoping that they’d lose interest and leave when she heard the rumble of another engine, this time heading in her direction. Up ahead she could see a familiar cherry red impala. She knew who it belonged too. Almost everybody knew who it belonged too.

Oscar had sped up just slightly when he had seen the green car, coming to a stop when he was beside Y/N, effectively blocking her from the view of the Prophet’s. Suddenly, she had gotten just that much more freaked out because she knew, everybody knew, of the tension between the two gangs, the Santos and the Prophets. She didn’t want to find herself in the middle of a shootout when all she had just wanted to do was go home and eat her damn fucking chips.

“The fuck you doin’ on this block? This is Santos territory. You punk asses know you shouldn’t be here.” She had heard Oscar say. “Get the fuck outta here. Now.” He left no room for discussion. That deathly calm, but frightening stare wasn’t something she wanted to be on the receiving end of. Across the street, she could see the Prophets in the car debating his words, contemplating on listening to the Santo and leaving or starting some shit. In the end, they decided on heeding his words and they drove off, not before throwing some comments his way, and her way.

“We’ll be seeing you, Spooky.” “Watch your back.” “We’ll be seeing you too, ma.” None of it phased Oscar, who watched as they disappeared through the side mirror of his car. Suddenly, his dark eyes were on her and she left out a tiny breath she wasn’t aware she had been holding.

“You good?” He asked, nodding his head at her. The y/h/c haired female gave a small nod, clutching at the plastic bag in her hand.

“Uh, yeah. Thanks for that. I didn’t think they were gonna leave me alone.” She admitted, sending a small smile his way. His dark eyes analyzed her for a second, and she began to grow hot under his gaze, feeling the heat creep up her neck, to her cheeks, all the way to the very tops of her ears.

“You’re Mario’s girlfriend, right?” And that sent a painful little jab to her heart, the remembrance that she and Mario were no longer a couple. Clearing her throat, Y/N shook her head.

“Uh, no. No, we broke up after he left for college. Long distance just wasn’t our thing.” She revealed. Oscar gave a slow nod at her words, letting out a little ‘hm’. She had figured the conversation was over at that point so she was about to turn away and carry on her journey home when his deep voice spoke up once more.

“You want a ride?”

Now, Y/N had been familiar with Oscar because of Mario, but they had never actually had a full blown conversation like the one they were just having. They had never been alone together, they had never spent copious amounts of time together. Oscar had gone to prison for a considerable amount of time as well. So, the fact that he had offered to give her a ride was a bit surprising to her, and she had almost declined his offer when the words of that one Prophet replayed in her mind.

“We’ll be seeing you too, ma.”

Were they lurking around a corner somewhere, waiting until she walked away from Oscar? Waiting to follow her again? Now, maybe she was being entirely paranoid but she certainly did not want to take that risk. So, giving Oscar a nod, she walked a few steps forward, pulled open the door and climbed into the passenger seat of his precious car.

That had been the start of an unlikely and very surprising friendship between Y/N and Oscar Diaz.

After that fateful day where he saved her from being harassed by Prophets, they had started hanging out more, they had become quite close. She’d spend more time at his house than her own. They’d drink cheap beer and smoke blunts and just talk about anything and everything. Dumb shit, funny shit, little shit. It was a friendship that Y/N had really grown to cherish. Hell, Oscar had even let her drive his car, and that wasn’t something he let anybody do, not even his brother.

(“You better not fucking crash my car, pendeja.” “Shut the fuck up, I’m not gonna crash shit. Relax, vato.”)

But somewhere along the line, it had changed for Oscar. Having a girl as a friend was something that he was never really used to - he hadn’t anticipated on an actual full blown friendship to form between him and Y/N but he couldn’t say that he regretted it. Y/N looked at him and saw something more than just a cholo, more than just a guy with two strikes working against him. He really did start to care about her, and he looked forward to the days where she’d go over to his house and they’d just hang out. Or the days where they’d get into his car, drive down to the beach and watch the sunset.

He had found himself wanting more than just a friendship - it was her smile, the way her smile seemed to light up the entire room. It was her eyes, the way they’d twinkle and shine so bright they could rival the stars. It was her nose, the way she’d crinkle it up every time she’d take a drink from some beer, which he’d always tease her about because she could never seem to get used to the bitter taste.

But the only issue was that she still had feelings for her ex. Oscar knew this, it wasn’t exactly as if it was a secret - Y/N openly talked about Mario with Oscar, she’d tell him how she missed him, how she often thought about them and their relationship. It was a tough pill to swallow, and it was why he had almost reconsidered inviting Mario to the Santos party, but nah, he wasn’t like that. He could be fucked up if he wanted, but Mario had always been good to him, he respected him too much to start acting like a dick.

———

Music played from the speakers that stood beside the DJ booth. People were dancing, drinking, smoking - it was a good time, everyone was having fun.

Everyone but Oscar that is.

His eyes kept drifting over toward Y/N and Mario as they sat on that worn, nasty old couch in their own little world, deep in conversation. He took notice of the way her eyes were shining bright, of that smile that never left her face. Or Mario’s face.

Y/N had arrived shortly after Mario and Ruby had and when she had caught sight of Mario, it was like she was that nervous girl going on her first date with him again. She thought that overtime her feelings for him would fade, that distance would make her move on. But it didn’t. And seeing Mario again.. she remembered just how much she truly loved him.

So, she and Mario had stuck by each other’s side throughout the entire party, talking, catching up, reminiscing about old times.

“So, you and Oscar? How’d that happen?” Mario asked her. He had been a little surprised when he found out that his ex-girlfriend had struck up a friendship with the gang leader. She had told him herself when they started talking again, and Ruby had told him that they had spent an awful amount of time together.

Y/N’s smile softened and she turned to glance over at Oscar who was having a conversation. But it was like he felt her eyes on him because he turned and looked over at her. Their eyes met and she sent him that sweet smile that had him falling for her all over again. Then she turned back to Mario.

“It was after you left, actually. I went to the store and some Prophets rolled up on me,” Mario looked concerned, his brows furrowing. “But, Oscar was riding by in his car, he saw and he helped me out. He gave me a ride home and after that, we just started seeing each other more. Hanging out. He’s cool, I like him.” She said, that smile never leaving her face.

“So, there’s nothing more going on between you two?”

“What? No! He’s my best friend!” Y/N said. “Honestly.. I.. I haven’t been with anyone since we broke up.” She admitted. “I miss you. It’s hard being without you. Oscar made it easier, but.. I still miss you. I’m glad you’re here, Mario.” She said. Her ex-boyfriend gave her a smile, that smile that had her weak in the knees.

“I missed you too, Y/N.”

Oscar knew he was probably being a cock blocker but he didn’t care. He walked over and you noticed him immediately, sending a smile his way. “Why you guys hidin’ over here? It’s a party. Little Ruby is making more friends than you two.” He nodded over to the young Martinez who was indeed having the time of his life. It was the happiest that Mario had seen his brother in a while and he was glad.

“We were just talking. Catching up. She told me how you helped her after some Prophets rolled up on her. Thank you for that.” Mario said as the two stood up off the couch. Oscar shrugged his shoulders as he looked down at the female, his eyes sparkling as he looked at her.

“It was nothing. I’d do anything for her. She knows that.”

“I do know that. And you know that I’d do anything for you too. You’re my best friend and I love you.” She said to Oscar and his heart actually sank down into his stomach.

Best friend.

That’s all he was to her. Her best friend and nothing more. She was his best friend but he wanted it to be more. But standing with her and Mario, seeing the way the two looked at each other.. he knew nothing more would ever come from it.

But at the same time… having Y/N in his life as his friend was better than not having her in his life at all. If she was with Mario, then all he could do was support her and be there for her because all he really wanted was for her to be happy. If it was Mario that made her happy then so be it. Mario was a good dude so he didn’t have to worry about him hurting her.

He had her in his life one way or another and he was just thankful for that.

[draikaesehoch]

Hi xD so since I have no clue about ice hockey feel free to tell me all about your favourite team or hockey player? ♥️

Thank you for sending this again (and fu to tumblr for swallowing my earlier reply).

Since I don’t really have a favorite player, I will just share my opinion and thoughts on the Oilers 😅 keep in mind I am still relatively new to hockey, so this is just me babbling. I didn’t fact check any of the stuff, so some of it could be bs… and honestly this whole thing is just me venting about this incredible team that most people don’t really take notice of.

I present you the Oilers:

They are one of the seven Canadian teams in the NHL. Based in Edmonton, Alberta. Usually part of the pacific division, due to Covid, they will form an all Canadian division for the 2021 season (I am still in denial about that though, it's going to be a mess and someone will cry, probably me).

The Oilers are struggling to make it to the playoffs, despite their talented roster.

Their superstar is Connor McDavid (first overall pick in the 2015 draft), he’s arguably the best hockey player alive. His speed is unmatched (yeah Barzal won the fastest skater competition but we all know Connor is the fastest player, especially with a puck). They put a lot of faith in him to get the team to a regular spot in the playoffs. He’s obviously the captain.

(this gif doesn't even do him justice!!)

And then they have this German dude, Leon Draisaitl, he was drafted in 2014 (3rd overall) by the Oilers. He didn’t have the best start and was sent to the WHL, but soon proved his potential. He got called back for the 2015-16 season. Had an incredible season in 2016-17 (with the Oilers making it to the playoffs and ending an 11 year playoff drought). He’s been getting better ever since and was named this year’s MVP (2019-20). As well as receiving the Ted Lindsay Award and the Art Ross Trophy. +Deutschland’s Sportler des Jahres Award! Which in a football (/soccer) dominated country, is HUGE!!

He has a super cute dog named Bowie. Leon is from Köln and like most Germans, he’s a football fan. Thank god he’s a decent human being and supports his local football club (and not some club like Bayern).

May I present Bowie 🥺💕 (the K, dude we get it, you love your hometown 🙄)

Other notable guys are Ryan Nugent-Hopkins (also first overall draft pick), Darnell Nurse, Oscar Klefbom and Adam Larsson.... and Zack Kassian, he’s kind of crazy, not really a fan of him tbh (but that’s because he likes to beat up a guy from the Flames I am unfortunately quite fond of).

Okay tbh all of them are notable and amazing, this team is so great once you get to know them.

They have had like seven coaches in the last ten years, so it's safe to say they are still on their path of finding themselves. I'm not sure about Dave Tippett yet, but compared to his predecessors he’s going okay. We will ignore that they lost to the Hawks in the playoff’s qualifying round, because what the heck was that?! But that’s another thing, their leadership is still fairly young and especially Connor has to deal with a lot of pressure and expectation, they just lack experience but if they can keep the current team together, it wouldn’t surprise me if they win a cup in the future.

….

Sooo... Connor and Leon, they play the most beautiful hockey together, like it so beautiful to watch, I am not even kidding, their passing is incredible, THEY ALWAYS FIND EACH OTHER (they are probably hockey soumates or some shit). I could go on about this forever, every time I see them play together, I remember why I fell in love with hockey.

but yeah having two so skilled centers on the same line isn’t necessarily the most efficient combination, there’s only so much time they can be on the ice together and only so much goals they can score, so they try to split them up. Makes sense I guess, because why have your two best players on the same line, when you can have them on separate lines and still have them produce just as well.

We still get to see them play together on the power play (or in overtime) tho and thank god because with their skill and blind understanding, makes the Oilers' power play the best in the league.

What else is there 🤔

Ahh, they got Jesse Puljujärvi back, which hell yes, I am so happy about that! I mean look at that precious ray of sunshine!!

I am most excited about Tyson Barrie though, I think he can really bring something to them team, first and foremost experience and stability but hopefully some personality as well. The Oilers are, for the lack of better words, kind of closed off and boring? I don’t necessarily feel that way but people call them depressed and stuff. I would say, they are maybe a bit more private and potentially less glamorous. But then again, they are a Canadian team and the Canadian media can be quite harsh when it comes to hockey, so it would make sense for most of them to try to stay under the radar.

Have a gif of Tyson and Ralph (because who wouldn't want that 🥺)

THE BATTLE OF ALBERTA:

Was kind of dead for years, is coming back to live, it’s basically like the derby thing in football. The Calgary Flames and the Oilers are both from Alberta, so it’s a regional and divisional based rivalry but boy is it entertaining! To keep it short, they hate each other and there’s lots of fighting and bad blood.

I mean there are goalie fights and all 😳🙌🏻

TO SUMMARIZE MY MESSY THOUGHTS, I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR AND SO SHOULD YOU!!

Und danke dafür, dass Du mein Hockey stuff erträgst... Deine Asks und Kommentare sind immer so unglaublich lieb und ich bin so dankbar!!! 🥰💕

[violetmuses]

Chapter 21

Dedications: @kestiscroft I'm so sorry :(

====

2023

Helmut Zemo

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”

- Oscar Wilde

I would always remember our very first date: horseback riding as a surprise. Stables towered in the back of my family’s estate, housing both mares and stallions. By sunset, she mounted and fancied one of our imported Tori horses, named Rasmus.

“Aww, Rasmus.” Dionne opened her photo album again and pointed out an image to me.

“I’m convinced that he loved you more than me.” I joked, shaking my head as she continued flipping through pages of this photo album.

“Absolutely not.” she smiled, kissing my cheek.

“How did you learn to ride?” I asked, genuinely curious and not even acting suggestive or cheeky at this point.

“I took lessons in high school because our family friends had owned this large horse-farm.” Dionne smiled, reminiscing on her younger years that took place before we met.

“Would you try again?” I asked, scooting closer but trying not to blush.

“Of course, but times are extremely different now.” Dionne whispered, reaching out to tuck one of my curls back into place.

“I love the way you are right now.” I thumbed her cheek, smiling against her lips. She closed the photo album and mimicked me, laying on her back.

“What do you mean?” she asked, looking precious.

“You don’t look angry or stoic. You simply look peaceful.” I admitted, once again remembering the best ends of our past together.

“If only we could stay like this, then. Life says otherwise.” Dionne told me, unfortunately sitting up and scooting away from me.

“What did I say?” I pouted.

“Nothing, but we have to keep our guards up.” Dionne warned me without yelling.

“I understand, but there is no immediate threat.” I cautioned, hoping that she would feel reassured.

“Just because a threat isn’t standing in front of us right now, doesn’t mean that problems have disappeared forever.” Dionne shook her head once more.

“I know, but…” I repeated myself, but trailed off. She then rose from the bed, walked towards her closet. An otherwise veiled compartment had revealed this arsenal of firearm holsters.

She strapped one of these holsters onto both shoulders, arming herself with two pistols. I didn’t even realize that that moonlight casted beyond our windows, basking the evening sky with brightness of typically unusual stature here.

“Are you coming with me or not?” She lowered her voice, sliding on this leather jacket while speaking.

“What do you want to do?” I cautioned.

“I know where Richardo is.” Her response almost shocked my nerves.

I nearly panicked from the inside out, but she would’ve immediately noticed my fear. Like myself, She caught victims like any blood-thirsty shark who lurked through oceans.

“How do you know?” I pulled myself together, realizing her objective.

“Let’s just say that your deployed bounty hunters weren’t able to kill Richardo the other night.” My best friend zipped up boots while sitting on the bed.

“Where is he?” I asked once more, still trying to figure out more of our objective this time around.

“You’ll see. Now, come on before I change my mind.” Dionne asserted herself, planning dominance once again.

“Of course.” I whispered back, leaving the safety of her bedroom.

_________

Dressed and prepared for the evening, we lurked among the streets of Lowtown once again. We both nodded and slyly conversed with criminals who learned of our target’s presence. It was clear that Richardo Fernandez was still out for revenge.

It was not until I returned to the threshold of Brass Monkey that most visitors turned around, recognizing who stood alongside me. All music around us hadn’t stopped playing, but quiet breaths hitch, apologizing to Dionne without speech.

“Where is he, Theo?” Dionne perched herself onto one stool and addressed the same eyeglass-sporting bartender who questioned me on Selby not long ago. It was clear that this worker’s name was Theodore, because he soon responded afterward.

“In the back.” Obedience lined his three words as we were directed behind him. I shared eye contact with him, slyly understanding that someone must’ve warned everyone here not to bother the woman who led me through these shadows.

“Thank you.” Dionne affirmed, doding this bartender as quickly as we confronted him. There was no other choice. If I questioned anything else, Dionne might’ve become darker than ever before and protected herself, ending anyone in the way.

Our steps paused at the sight of a back-door that bolted into the rear wall of this venue. An entry panel sided onto its right corner, signaling this need for passcodes. She then entered four numbers in the dim light, which quickly consented access.

The opening door released its entry like suction cups, piercing as if we were entering portals or dimensions of this world. Meanwhile, I could only imagine what reached her mind as we crossed another threshold, now seeing more half-light.

“Hi.” Two words that filled a greeting to Dionne echoed here from someone else’s voice. Lights of this particular room brightened only a little soon after, revealing the person who addressed my best friend.

At that moment, we locked eyes with Richardo Fernandez. Two buttons were loosened at the front of his dress shirt and even his pants were similar. Dark hair slicked backwards as sunglasses topped his head, despite blackness of the evening.

“What do you want?” Dionne asked, folded both arms as we stood beside one another. Of course, it took everything within me not strangle Richardo myself and seemingly end our problems right now.

“Isn’t it obvious, D? Your man sicked those hounds on my team the other night. I’d like to have a few words with him.” Richardo stood from his centered chair in the room and lifted this tumbler glass of presumed whiskey, taking one sip before setting it down.

“Okay, then. I will be around while you speak to him. There’s no way in hell that I’m walking out of here before your conversation even starts. Go ahead.” Dionne vowed, stepping in front of me as another form of defense.

“Fair enough.” Richardo offered this sly grin before Dionne stepped out of my way and we chatted, beginning this so-called interrogation for one another.

Crossing both arms, I watched as Dionne cornered this stance near the leftward wall, eyeing both me and Richardo from her vantage point. Soon, I realized that she must’ve taseked that same gesture on assignments for the U.S. government.

“It would’ve been much easier to just kill me. Stalking Dionne along the way wasn’t exactly your greatest choice.” I told Richardo, beginning our chat so to speak.

“Maybe if you stayed in The Raft and stopped fidgeting like a child to escape, she and I could’ve had another chance of being together.” Richardo spat, but his voice didn’t line with anger or loudness in the room. My heart raced with frustration.

“You are insane. She was in love with me this entire time.” I defended us, making eye contact with Dionne as she watched Richardo and I. Despite shadows all around us, I still hoped that she, my best friend, would nod and agree with these words.

“Oh, please. You left her.” Richardo clipped his sunglasses onto the front of that dress shirt and scoffed.

“Likewise.” I shook my head as well, remembering that this man broke up with someone who clearly wanted to love someone new after what happened to me and my own life.

“I definitely had my reasons. You know how she is.” Richardo laughed despite no humor, ignoring the fact that Dionne was actually present in this room.

“What did you just say?” I narrowed my eyes, stepping closer and tilting my head as we faced off even more now.

“She’s using you, man. She’s used everyone and anyone possible to get whatever’s needed. Love doesn’t exist in her mind anymore.” Richardo continued, only making eye contact with me here, as if Dionne still wasn’t around.

“That’s a lie.” I turned around to Dionne already walking towards me from behind. Of course, I’d be much more concerned if she hadn’t moved, slowly allowing Richardo to win.

“Don’t make me kill you.” It was not long before Dionne’s voice nearly growled towards Richardo.

“You won’t do it. Even here, everyone will know what happened once you pull that trigger, Baby Girl.” Richardo taunted.

“Who’s scared now?” Before anything else could be said, I Dionne unveiled one of the holstered firearms and aimed, surprising both Richardo and me.

“I’m so sorry.” Like a coward who only talked, Richardo lifted up both of his hands and knelt down. Dionne continued aiming the firearm, but wouldn’t pull its trigger, still warning him.

For what, threatening my best friend? Attempting murder? Speak up!” Dionne barked at Fernandez, not caring if anyone heard us outside this room.

“Remember the horse-farm?” Richardo’s question seemed to throw Dionne completely off. Even I did not know what to believe.

“How would you know about the horse-farm?” Dionne clenched her teeth and still wouldn’t release her grip on the pistol she held

“According to police reports, Russell...took you there in Texas…” Richardo trembled his words.

“What are you talking about? He held me captive in a...ranch house…” This sudden realization washed over Dionne and I opened my arms, just in case she fainted. Even the pistol began to tremor in her healed left hand.

“I’m sorry, Dionne. I’m so sorry.” Ricardo echoed the so-called apology over and over again. Perhaps he felt that that repeated phrase would actually excuse what he had done.

“You knew…” Whispering through such a low voice, Dionne locked eyes with Richardo after handing her pistol over to me. Not once had she trembled again, questioning him as if she emulated one professional investigator.

“Yes…” Richardo panicked, not even allowing himself to rise from the floor as he faced death. Dionne then gestured for me to return her firearm. As I obeyed her, she then cocked the cocked the weapon to show its slight but deafening click.

“And you allowed Perkins to hurt me?” Dionne set the barrel of this firearm between Richardo’s eyes, only giving this sicko just a few more moments to live. It was clear that questions here were crucial now.

“I was here in Madripoor too before your abduction took place. If I had known what Perkins wanted…” Richardo panicked once more, still not innocent of what he enabled.

Just when I believed that Dionne would pull the trigger and end Richardo instantly, she moved that gun and holstered that weapon back into place. Both Richardo and I watched in silence as our “leader” collected herself cornered near another wall.

“Z…” Dionne turned around and addressed me by shortening my last name. Here, it was once again that my true identity and good personality as Helmut no longer existed. I lowered my eyes, nearly ashamed as frustration reached me now.

Even then, I couldn’t believe my reality at this point. My heart raced as two threatening choices crept into my mind: either I transformed into this monster who didn’t care for anyone, or permitted traitor Richardo Fernandez to live another day.

“You should be grateful that she has allowed you to live this long. Boys, not men, like you make me sick. Do you have any last words?” I maintained eye contact with Richardo, turning around and aiming Dionne’s pistol directly in front of him.

“I love you so much…” Whispering, Richardo did not look towards me, only watching Dionne stand near that corner in silence. In turn, still obediently evil, I cocked the gun to Richardo’s head, still planning to give this bastard my kill-shot.

Yet, another, completely different, gunshot ran out, prompting both Richardo and I to nearly gasp. It was not long before someone else's frame thudded backwards onto the lush carpet found underneath our steps.

“No!” Richardo shouted as soon as he stood up from kneeling on the floor. His yell had forced my own body to turn around.

At that moment, I looked over to see Sharon Carter holding a firearm of her own and standing over Dionne's bleeding body.

[whattimeisitintokyo]

Somos Familia Ch 41: Meet the Parents

Skeletons!

SKELETONS!

Héctor would have kept screaming if he could have, but absolute terror had stolen his voice away and he was left gasping like a landed fish as he looked frantically all around him. Everywhere he turned there was a new skeleton standing beside him, glowing as golden and as translucent as he was. And he kept bumping into them! Some rattled, some yelped out ‘hey!’ in protest. Héctor was certain he had managed to knock one’s head off of its body. Soon he was too overwhelmed by skeletons that he had no place to move, only to drop down to the ground.

Scooting back quickly until his back was against a headstone, Héctor trembled with fright as suddenly all of the skeletons’ attention was turned to him. Their annoyance at being shoved and jostled quickly turned to confusion, then to astonishment as they finally saw that a man, a living one, was able to see them. They all crowded around him, looking at him like he was the abomination that shouldn’t exist instead of them, and started to whisper.

“Is that… Héctor Rivera?”

“He can see us?”

“Dios mio, it is him!”

“Héctor!”

“Héctor Rivera!”

Ave María Purísima, they knew who he was! Pressing himself further back into the gravestone, Héctor could only manage to squeak out a creaky moan of horror. The skeletons knew who he was. Skeletons that were dead. He was dead! He had died and now these creatures were here to drag him to hell. No no no, he couldn’t have died! He was healthy! He had made sure of it! Ever since his health scare all those years ago he had made it his goal to be as healthy as could be! No drinking, no bad food, plenty of exercise. He couldn’t have just died without warning!

“Héctor Rivera…”

Suddenly one of the skeletons drew in close to him. Héctor wanted to shut his eyes tight, block out these horrifying monsters from his sight, but he found that he couldn’t look away. With fearful trepidation he watch as the skeleton knelt down next to him, studying his face carefully. Was this the one who would be taking him to the underworld? He panted faster as the figure raised a grotesque bony hand up, reached deep into his jacket. Dios what was he doing?

Then, achingly slowly in Héctor’s terror-filled mind, the monster pulled out…

A pen.

“Señor Rivera, I am a huge fan!” the skeleton grinned widely. “May I have your autograph?!”

It took a few seconds for the question to force its way through the mind-numbing horror, but slowly Héctor’s panting stuttered to a halt and the words finally registered. For a brief moment he was able to see past the nightmarish ghouls in front of him and unbelievable predicament he was in to fully see how… that was the absolute last thing he was expecting a glowing skeleton with eyes and hair to say to him. And the stupidest.

“WHAT?!” He managed to finally scream out in pure exasperation. But it didn’t stop there as more skeletons began to crowd around him, each holding their own writing utensil and scratch pieces of paper.

“Me too! Me too! Ooh, Prima Lula is going to be so jealous!”

“Can you make it out to Fidelio, por favor?”

“Oye Héctor! It’s Manuel Fernandez, remember?! Your first customer! Your wife leaves a new pair of boots every year on my ofrenda. Tell her I said ‘Gracias’!”

“Ay, I don’t have any paper! Can you just write on my sternum? Sideways is fine!”

Their clamoring didn’t stop, as more and more excited skeletons grinned their toothy smiles and shoving pens in his face. Héctor backed further and further into the gravestone, sharp corners digging into him painfully, but he didn’t notice it much. His brain was overloaded with surging emotions: Fear, anxiety, annoyance, and more fear. He was just about to let out another scream when suddenly a bony hand clamped around his wrist. And he did scream at that, in an embarrassingly high-pitched shriek that could have come from a small girl instead of a fifty-year old man, when a voice briskly.

“Lo siento, Señor Rivera is not handing out autographs at the moment. Please check back a later time.”

Héctor found himself yanked back to his feet and pulled away from the groans and complaints of the skeletons, forced to run as the mysterious figure led him further into a more secluded corner of the cemetery. As they got closer and closer to the end of the gate Héctor finally decided he’d had enough and tried to skid them both to a stop. Jerking back his hand hard he tried to dislodge himself from the figure’s grip… And succeeded in popping the figure’s arm off straight from the socket. Still clutching him around his wrist.

“AAAH!” Héctor screamed and flailed his arm around, trying to fling the bones off. “GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!”

“Héctor, please! Calm down, mijo!”

A soft pair of hands gripped his shoulders and Héctor gasped, freezing in place. His whole frame still trembling in fright, the bony hand let go of his wrist and then the whole arm hopped away from him towards the figure. The arm bounced off the ground and slipped in cleanly through the sleeve of its shirt, and Héctor could see it was yet another skeleton. Rotating and working out the kinks of his newly reattached arm, the skeleton had the gall to glare at him.

“You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, cabrón.” The skeleton snorted in disgust.

“Shh. Mi amor, please!” The voice behind him shushed and then made it’s way around to face him. It was a female, and unlike the male standing before him she was smiling at him. A small, sweet smile, trying to keep things as calm as possible. But as Héctor continued to draw back away from them in terror she could tell it was in vain. “Héctor, we need you to calm down for a moment.”

“Stay back!” Héctor cried out, swiping his arm out and managing to make the two skeletons flinch back. “Stay away from me! Don’t come any closer!”

“We’re not going to hurt you, Héctor.”

“What do you want from me?!” Héctor squeaked out, past the point of reasonable thought as hysteria clouded his mind. “Am I dead? Is this how death works? Are you going to eat me? Are you going to eat my skin?!”

“Ugh, no!” the male skeleton shuddered at the thought. “I came here tonight to eat menudo.”

“Just stay away from me! Someone! I need help! I need- AAH!” Suddenly something hot a wet slid up his cheek all the way to his hairline in a split second, and a cheerful bark burst through his eardrums. Turning he saw Dante happily smiling at him with his tongue lolling on his shoulder, and Héctor gasped in surprise. “Dante?! You can see me?!”

Dante barked again and made to lick him again, but Héctor pushed him away and began to smile madly. Tittering in near hysteria, Héctor grabbed Dante by the jowls and turned him toward the skeletons. “Good boy! Dante! Dante look: Bones! Get them! Get the skeletons, get the bones! Sic ‘em! Sic ‘em, boy!”

Dante whined in confusion and looked between his master, gesturing wildly and screaming at him while looking like he was on the verge of collapse, and the two skeletons, sighing and palming their faces in their hands. They seemed more composed than Héctor at the moment. So, with a small chuff he hopped away from him and stood by the woman’s side, earning himself a soft rub on the head while Héctor let out a moan of dismay.

“Dante, you dumb dog!” Héctor yelled out, causing the poor to shrink back and whimper. “Don’t let it pet you!” Running his fingers through his hair and ranking hard, Héctor didn’t notice that he was rocking jerkily back and forth as he began to babble. “What’s going on?! What happened to me?! I-I-I don’t know what to do! What happening?!”

“What are you asking us for?” The skeleton grumbled while crossing his arms. “Dios, can’t we have a normal Dia de Muertos for once? First Miguel’s birth, then that concert fiasco with de la Cruz, and now this?! Honestly, what is the deal with you, yerno?”

It took a few moments for his words to run it’s way through Héctor’s addled brain, but once it did he slowly stopped rocking and his panting ceased. He hazarded another look up at the two glowing skeleton and the wheels began turning again. “Y-yerno?”

Yerno?

Son-in-law?

Héctor started to look closely as the two. Past all the candy-like swirls of purple and silver on the man’s skull, other facial features started to stand out. The slicked back hair, the thick mustache, and his eyes. Those same hard, judgmental eyes that always seemed to look down on him, even from beyond the grave, every time he looked at that foto on the ofren-

Oh…

“…P-… Papa… Gaspar?”

“Hmmph.” Gaspar grumbled. “You can just call me Gaspar. Otherwise you’ll make me feel old.”

“Amor, you are seventy-three years old.”

“Nooo, I died at twenty-five, and so I will stay at twenty-five. Forever!”

As the woman laughed, a sweet yet hearty laugh that reminded him so much of Imelda, Héctor finally started to relax a little. Her features were familiar too. The same long face as Oscar and Felipe, the prim little smile like Imelda. “Mama Mirasol?”

Mirasol smiled back at Héctor, leaning down a little to meet his eyeline. “Hola, Héctor. It is so nice to finally meet you.”

Héctor blinked back dumbly. “… N-nice to meet you too…”

Now that he knew their names, knew who he was talking to, it made him feel less panicked. Imelda had told him enough stories from her childhood to know basic information about her parents. Gaspar was a great farmer who was able to grow a pumpkin once that was so big he had it fashioned into an actual carriage for Imelda when she was a toddler and pulled her around in it like she was a princess.

Mirasol made the best dishes out of whatever fruits and vegetables Gaspar didn’t sell. She was always constantly drawing on scraps of papers and napkins, some of which Imelda still had in box with other precious items. Her favorite one was a handkerchief that Mirasol had sketched the actual likeness of all three of her children when they were newborns, each child on three corners and ‘Mis amores’ on the fourth.

He was stern yet clumsy, she was sweet yet soft-spoken.

And they had both let their young children take the limited medication that the town had that saved their lives during a malaria outbreak, while they themselves went without and had died young.

“You calmed down now, payaso?” Gaspar asked. At Héctor’s slow nod, he held out a hand to him. “Good. Up you get, then.”

Héctor took Gaspar’s hand, wincing a little as the loose bones shifted unnaturally in his grip, and allowed him to hoist him off the ground. Gathering himself and  trying to look as dignified as he could after his embarrassing meltdown in front of his in-laws, Héctor smoothed back his unkempt hair and mumbled, “Gracias… I-I can’t believe it. Imelda’s parents… I’ve always wondered what you both were like.”

Mirasol smiled. “Ay, Héctor. We’ve also always wondered what it would be like to finally meet you. This is a little unorthodox, you not being a skeleton, but still. There’s so many things we always wanted to thank you for: Being a loving husband to our daughter, a wonderful father to our grandchildren, a great provider-”

“Sí sí, that’s all very well and good.” Gaspar interrupted. “But first things first. There is something I’ve been wanting to do for the last thirty-three years, and I hope you’ll oblige me Héctor.”

Héctor gulped a little and managed to bring up a corner of his mouth nervously. “O-okay. What do you want-”_

*SMACK*

“AY!” Héctor reeled back and immediately grabbed his left cheek as it stung harshly for the second time in one night. Managing to force a watery eye open he saw a boney finger pointing directly at his face.

“That is for getting my teenage daughter pregnant out of wedlock, you perverted little-”

“Gaspar! Ay Dios mio…” Mirasol grabbed her husband by the shoulders and forced him to back off, giving Héctor a weak grin. “I’m so sorry, Héctor. He’s been clamoring about that for years.”

Héctor nodded, eyes wide as he brought his hand back down. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean- That was an accident! I would never- AY, CARAJO!” His abused cheek was struck for a third time, and this time the finger pointing at him was Mirasol’s.

“Don’t ever call our little Coco an accident, niño!” Mirasol barked out, her sweet timid voice all of a sudden sounding as loud and forceful as her own daughter’s. But the moment quickly passed and she pinched her nasion in shame. “Ugh, I’m so sorry Héctor. We are not making the best first impression to you.”

As Héctor rubbed his reddened cheek, wondering why everyone who had slapped him happened to be right-handed, Héctor managed a chuckle. “Heh, it’s all right. I always thought that if I ever did meet my in-laws they’d want to slap me. I remember when Coco first started dating Julio I was- WAIT A MINUTE!”

The two skeletons and Dante flinched as Héctor started to rave again. “What the hell am I doing?! Chatting with two people I have never met before, and who have been dead for nearly half a century! I’m seeing skeletons everywhere I turn, no one can see me, I’m glowing, and Miguel thinks I’m… Oh no, Miguel! He’s thinks-! He’s been taken away! I have to go get him!”

“Héctor he’ll be fine!”

“No!” Héctor brushed Mirasol off of him and tried to walk back to the exit. “He’s in trouble! I have to save my-erk!” With a jolt Héctor stopped in his tracks. Looking down he saw Dante had grabbed him by the hem of his jacket, teeth clamped tight around the fabric. He tried to yank it free, but the dog refused to let up.

“Miguel is fine.” Gaspar said, his hand on Héctor’s shoulder. “He’ll be with his family tonight. They’ll take care of him. The one you need to save is yourself, tonto. Because what’s happened to you is not normal, and we need to find out what it is exactly.”

His word sinking in, Héctor nodded a little and Dante released his jacket with a happy snort. Looking down at himself, he patted his chest and groaned at the eerie glow he was emitting. This was definitely not normal. “So, what happened to me? Am I dead?”

“No.” Mirasol shook her head emphatically. “No… I don’t… think.”

“That’s not very reassuring.”

“You aren’t dead, Héctor.” Gaspar affirmed. “Believe me, you’ll know you’re dead when you’re filling out enough paperwork to make you wish you’d die again. No no, this is something different. Now I’m no expert on the matter, but if I were to guess I’d say whatever has happened has to do with that guitar.”

“Wh- guitar?” Looking down Héctor was astonished to see that, during all the craziness and emotional scarring that he had been exposed to in the last ten minutes, he had been clutching Ernesto’s golden guitar the entire time. He had not even noticed that he had still kept a grip on the blasted thing. “Why am I still holding this?!”

“Well it is a beautiful guitar.”

“No no! I want nothing to do with-wait…” Héctor stared into space for a few seconds, the gears slowly turning. “I grabbed the guitar. Then the flowers went crazy, flying in the air. That’s when-” With a gasp, Héctor smiled widely and pointed at the guitar giddily. “That’s when it happened! I got all glowy and see-through-y! It’s because of this pinche guitar!”

“Isn’t that what I just said?” Gaspar grumbled. Next to him Dante whined in worry at Héctor’s train of thought. Why was he fighting this so hard? This was becoming more difficult than this simple dog could handle.

“So, it comes to reason that once I let go of the guitar… Then everything will turn back to normal! Ha HA!” Héctor held out the instrument at arm’s length and gave a slight bow. “Well then, so long Señor and Señora Rivera. This has been a de-lightful visit. But I must go back to a world of living, breathing human beings and sanity. Adios, and I hope you enjoy the offerings. And as for you, you useless instrument- Begone!”

Releasing his grip from the neck, the guitar dropped to the ground. Good, this nightmare was over. Now he could go home, forget this whole ever happened, and go on liv-

*zip*

There was no clanging of wood against the ground. It hadn’t even made contact. It had stopped less than a millimeter away from reaching it and then had magically flew back up into Héctor’s hand. Dante panted happily as once again the plan was back in motion. The other three, however, blinked for several seconds as they gawked at the guitar. Again, Héctor let the guitar drop, only for it to come back. Again. And again. Finally Héctor was practically chucking it to the ground, each attempt more frenzied than the last, and panting hard.

“Wow.” Mirasol couldn’t help but giggle as Héctor kept trying to force the guitar out of his hands. “It’s like a big, oddly shaped yo-yo.”

Héctor stopped what he was doing to glare at his in-laws, who were both snickering to themselves. “This is not funny! I’m trying to get back to my family, to my life, and you’re laughing at me?! This is bad! Really bad! What am I going to do?!”

“I don’t know, Héctor. But maybe someone else will be able to tell us.” Gaspar said before turning to Mirasol. “If he can see skeletons, then he might be able to cross the bridge. Then we can take him to Marigold station.”

“The Department of Family Reunions?”

“Exactamente.”

“Stop having conversations without me!” Héctor shouted. “Bridge? Department of Family Reunions? Where’s that?! Where are you taking me?!”

“The Land of the Dead, mijo.”

Héctor was taken aback from that. He looked at the two of them in shock. “The Land of the?-… No… No no no no…”

“Héctor-”

“No!” Héctor shouted, pointing at them both wildly. “No! You said I wasn’t dead! I’m not dead! I’m not going there, especially with people I have never even met before in my life! I’m not even convinced this is real. I’m dreaming or-or hallucinating or I have a huge tumor growing in my brain, all of those are more believable than this basura you’re spouting. I’m not going anywhere with you, so you and this dumb guitar can go straight back to hell together!”

With a mighty heave Héctor flung the guitar as hard as he could into the air. The sight of it spinning freely and high through the night sky was enough proof that he was finally rid of it, and with a mighty whoop of triumph he turned tail and started sprinting towards the exit of the cemetery. He heard Mirasol and Gaspar shouting after him, but he paid them no heed. He was not going to come back, not going to stop, not going to duck or whatever it was they screaming at him. He was going home! And nothing was going to stop-

*KA-BONG*

Several skeletons shouted in alarm as all of a sudden a large clanging sound shot through the air and a tall, gangly man went head over heels tumbling down their path. The body performed several impressive yet dangerous looking somersaults before crashing hard against one of the many protruding tombstones, resting into a mangled heap of long limbs, dust and mud. Héctor let out a small high-pitched whine as he collapsed onto his back and then was still. The only thing seemingly undamaged was the beautiful golden guitar as it magically shimmied itself back into the unconscious man’s hand like it was always meant to be there.

Gaspar and Mirasol caught up to Héctor, placating the nervous crowd with uneasy smiles. “Ah, lo siento everyone.” Gaspar chuckled. “This is a small family matter but we’re going to deal with it. J-just go about your business and enjoy the holiday, bueno? Bueno.”

The other skeletons were still skeptical but murmured in agreement and went back to their families and offerings, leaving the dead Riveras standing over Héctor. Dante came over and licked wet trails thick with slobber all over Héctor’s cheeks, his hair, even into his nose and mouth. Héctor didn’t even flinch, but he was still breathing normally.

Héctor was out cold.

Gaspar sighed. “So… This is who our daughter decided to marry.”

“I blame myself.” Mirasol replied wearily. “She gets it from me, I’m afraid. We both have strange tastes in men.”

“Sí, I guess you’re right… Hey!”

Ignoring her husband’s offense, Mirasol bent down to place her hand on Héctor’s forehead. “Gaspar, would you be a dear and go fetch Dr. Rosales? He’ll be either at his home or Imelda’s museum, but I’d check the museum first. I’ll stay with Héctor in case he comes to and ward off anyone else who gets to close.”

Gaspar winced a little at that and groaned. “Him? Are you sure?”

“Well, Héctor is obviously very traumatized by all of this, understandably. Trauma is his specialty, after all.”

“Ay, all right.” Gaspar started to head off, but paused and wavered a little. “Hey, um… should I tell… um…”

“I don’t know.” Mirasol said. “Maybe not. It might be to much for him, it might push him over the edge. Ask Dr. Rosales first about whether… she should come.”

With a quiet, sad nod Gaspar left his wife alone with Héctor and made his way out of the cemetery. As Mirasol quietly stroked Héctor’s hair and spoke softly to him, she didn’t notice Dante staring them both down.

Dante huffed in annoyance. He may not be the smartest dog in the world, as the little weird looking dog that guided his boy’s mate always told him, but he knew enough. They were not going along with the plan at all! Whatever the plan was. Did he even know the plan? Well whatever. Dante knew that his boy was scared and sad and angry. And if he was ever going to go to the world of the delicious bone people, he would not go with these bone people who scared him. No.

But he would go if he were to be reunited with his puppy. His daughter. His Leti.

So, like any good dog would, he would go and fetch his Leti for him if no one else was going to do it. With a yip he bounded out unnoticed by the bone woman and raced off to find the boney puppy.

Yes, Héctor would love to see his Leti! After all, Leti was the best girl-boy in the world!

 ---------------------------------

I am truly sorry for the lack of updates. These past few months have a kind of mental health break for me. For someone whose story kind of morphed itself into a study of mental health it was high tome I got some for myself! Hope it made you laugh, though.

[pilot-boi]

Five Injuries Hidden: Chapter One

A little look into the extents that Jaune would go for his team, his friends, his family. Did he maybe go a little too far at times? Maybe. Is it really necessary for him to get medical attention and actually heal his injuries? Probably. Will he ever stop gladly throwing himself on top of the wire to protect even one of them? Definitely not.

Maybe he should actually let them help him when he goes too far and gets hurt in their stead. But for that to happen, they’d have to know about the hits that he keeps taking for them, which they don’t and never will. And what they don’t know won’t kill them.

But… It might kill him if he isn’t careful.

((I keep forgetting Aura is a thing, so don’t mind me giving him injuries that he shouldn't really be able to get. Set vaguely between V5 and V6.))

Oscar

Jaune’s never had a baby brother before, so he can be forgiven for being just a little bit more protective than he really needs to be, right?

AO3 LINK

It was pouring

Not an innocent little sprinkle either, oh no. It was a torrential downpour.

The water kept getting in his hair and washing it down into his face. Who needs eyesight anyway? That wasn’t necessary, right?

And to think, he had been having such a nice day, too.

A wild shout snapped Jaune out of his thoughts, and he snapped up his sword to block the clumsy swipe of the Ursa’s paw, the resounding clang leaving a faint ringing in his ears. A grin made its way onto the  soaked knight’s face as he batted the offending limb away with his shield and slashed across with his blade to decapitate it.

Whipping his head around, Jaune quickly scanned the impromptu battle field for his friends. His family. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Yang’s joked in the back of his head about counting heads like a teacher on a field trip, but he paid it no mind.

Relief swept through him as he saw that they all had their battles well in hand. Yang and Nora even seemed to be making a game out of it, shouting out the number of kills to each, both trying to one up the other. Their partners were taking it more seriously, but Jaune could see Blake smiling in amusement and hear the laugh tinging Ren’s words.

Ruby and Weiss were dashing around each other, working like a perfectly oiled machine. Glyphs would appear for Ruby to run on, perfectly timed for her to take out a truly obscene amount of Grimm with one strike. As he watched, he even saw Oscar take out a Beowulf singlehanded.

Jaune couldn’t help the swell of pride in his chest.

Shaking his sopping wet out of his eyes -in vain, apparently, as it simply slid right back after he swept it away for the millionth time- a movement in the trees caught his eye by complete chance. Red glowing eyes and feathers flickered from branch to branch. 

Whipping his head around, Jaune zeroed in on a hidden Nevermore. It must have been drawn by the strife of the combat. With a screech it launched itself from the trees and reared back its wings to launch its feathers like throwing daggers.

Aiming directly at Oscar. Oscar, who still had trouble remembering to keep his Aura up. His brother. His baby brother.

Everything seemed to slow as his mind’s eye worked out just what he was seeing. He quietly pushed away the rage that bubbled up, and sought the cool planning mindset that had saved him and his friends time and again. Jaune would have time for anger later -because how dare that monster even think of laying a feather on Oscar Pine- because he had more immediate problems.

For one, and most immediately, that he would not be able to warn Oscar in time. No, the stupid bird was already locked and loaded onto Oscar, and by the time he warned him, there could be a feather a foot long skewered through his chest.

So, that brought his options down to only one. One acceptable solution. If that arrow was going to hit anyone, it was going to be him.

As he came to that conclusion, everything rushed back into full motion.

The Nevermore loosed its feathers like a hailstorm.

Oscar heard the noise and turned to see what was flying towards him.

Their friends yelled out in warning. Weiss threw up a wall a moment too late. Ruby jumped into a cloud of petals.

And Jaune slammed Oscar -his little brother, dammit stupid bird would pay for that- out of the way, his momentum carrying them both mostly out of the path of the barrage. Mostly.

Jaune was never so happy to have a soaking wet red sash tied around his middle than at that moment. It hid injuries quite well.

Hiding a grimace of pain as something just short of agony raced across his lower ribs, Jaune quickly checked over Oscar for injuries. His Aura flared up in his hands, liquid light pouring down into any possible imaginary injuries the boy could have. “Are you okay?! It didn’t get you, did it?”

Oscar shook himself out of his shocked stupor, blinking dazedly. “N-no. I’m fine. Thanks Jaune.”

Jaune breathed a sigh of relief, shoulders slumping, before they raised back up rigidly and his shield spiraled back out to cover them both. “Wait, what about the Nevermore?!”

Ren laid a calming hand on Jaune’s shoulder. “Not to worry. Ruby and Weiss are taking care of it. Are you alright, Jaune?”

A sharp sting lanced across his ribs. Couldn’t spare Aura for an injury he didn’t know the extent of. What if he needed to heal someone? “Yeah, sure, I’m fine! Do you think you could check over Oscar to make sure that it really missed him?”

Ren tilted his head to one side in confusion and crouched down beside them both. “I saw you using your Semblance, but it you’re sure-”

“Guys, I’m fine! Not even bruised anymore thanks to you,” Oscar reassured him.

“You got him to the ground before the others even took off after the rest of the Grimm,” Ren reminded Jaune, ignoring the knight’s skeptical expression. “You did well, Jaune.”

“My ‘good enough’ almost wasn’t good enough.” Jaune slumped tiredly, resisting the urge to sling his arm across his torso to cover the angry welt he could feel. “I’m just relieved I saw it in time.”

Oscar punched him lightly in the arm, and then shook out his fingers from punching his metal armor. Jaune didn’t even notice the hit, but he noticed the reprimand. “Come on, stop that. Please! You saved me, you made it. I’m right here, on the ground, safe and sound.”

“Yeah, what he said!” Ruby called as she waded through the semi-dense brush, the tell tale smoke of dead Grimm dripping and seeping off the scythe leaning on her shoulder.

Good. The thing was dead. Jaune tried not to feel so satisfied about that.

Nora bounced out from behind her and slung an arm across Jaune’s shoulders, unknowingly aggravating Jaune’s side. “C’mon fearless leader, cheer up! Everything turned out a-okay. Now, what do ya say we all finish up here and go get something to eat, huh?”

Jaune heartily agreed, and soon they were all back in Mistral proper. Qrow, slung across the couch with one arm covering his eyes, grumbled when their troop stomped inside covered in mud and shouting to each other. 

Excusing himself with the plea of exhaustion, Jaune snagged the first-aid kit from the kitchen and sequestered himself into his and Oscar’s shared room. And with a wince, he finally took in the extent of the damage.

The less said about the torturous removing of his armor and soaked through clothing, the better.

A long, angry red mark was gouged across his side, right under his rib cage, and a dark, grim looking bruise covered from just above the severe laceration all the way down to the top of his hip. 

He stared at it for several long seconds, debating whether to heal it or not. Who knows what they’d be doing over the next couple days. Could he afford to leave it? Or could he afford to siphon off precious Aura to heal himself, when he might need it for the others?

After far too long, he settled on cleaning it out first and figuring it out later.

Biting back the few curse words he knew, mostly from Yang, he quickly balled up the cleanest, least muddy piece of his shirt before biting down on it, effectively blocking any yelps that would be sure to somehow slip past the firm barrier he had paced against them.

Taking a deep breath in through his nose, his side protesting fiercely, and gathering up all his courage, Jaune tore open a sterile package and applied the large antiseptic patch found within.

The world whited out.

Suddenly, in some part of his brain that was untouched by overwhelming agony, he was very, very glad that he had taken the precautions to stop anyone from seeing or hearing him. Locking the door behind him had been an afterthought born from years of sibling life, but now he was so very glad that he took the second to do so.

After all, he couldn’t have someone walking in on him feeling like he was dying, now could he?

He used to like rainy days.

Somehow pulling himself back together out of the sheer force of will, he finished cleaning out the gash. He channeled a sliver of Aura into the injury and watched as it stitched himself up into a barely healed slash, still surrounded by bruising. Just enough to stop the bleeding.

Taking a moment to center himself, he spit his shirt out of his mouth and finished up by wrapping a loop of gauze around his middle and over the still extremely tender wound.

Finished. Now he could die in peace. Didn’t they say that death was eternal rest? Yeah. He could go for an eternal nap right about now.

Sadly, that wasn’t in the cards for Jaune at the moment. Briefly mourning the fact that he couldn’t stay seated on his bedroom floor with stray medical supplies strewn about forever, Jaune mentally shook himself off and begrudgingly started cleaning up any evidence of this little escapade. 

His dirty shirt got tossed right into the laundry, along with the bloody soaked and slightly-more-tattered sash. Hopefully nobody would notice the extra holes in the latter.

That done, and knowing that Oscar at the very least would undoubtedly be coming by soon, Jaune quickly pulled a new shirt over his head to hide the remaining evidence, i.e. his injury. 

It was quick for him, but really he walked slowly with shuffling steps, as his side strongly rebelled against the thought of doing anything fast other than sleeping. So he shucked off his soaking wet jeans, tossed them into the pile with his shirt and sash, tugged on a pair of sweatpants, and collapsed painfully into his bed.

No training tonight. Sorry, Pyrrha, but he didn’t think he’d manage to wake up to his alarm no matter how loud he set it. And setting it loud enough to wake the others was a no-go. Jaune felt so exhausted that he doubted even his nightmares would be enough to wake him.

Don’t get him wrong, Jaune didn’t regret what he did. He never would. You could scour his soul for eternity, and you would never find even a slightest shade of remorse for doing what he had done to save Oscar, the little brother he’d never had. 

This result was the optimal one. That’s what he did, he crunched the numbers. And the numbers would always come to this result, without question. Jaune would gladly relive this entire horrible, muddy, rainy day a million times if it meant that Oscar would come out of it uninjured. 

In fact, he would willingly do this for any of his friends, his family, the family he’d found and made and cobbled together. This family that was a little damaged and cracked, but that had dragged him out of the darkest time in his life without a second thought and without asking for anything in return. 

A debt that Jaune could never begin to repay. Not that he’d ever stop trying. He hadn’t been grateful enough when they’d been doing it, so he was doubly grateful for them sticking with it and not giving up on him like he’d so dearly wanted them to.

So he’d do anything for them. Anything at all. With absolutely no hesitation at all. If any of their lives were on the line, there were really no numbers to be crunched. This decision was a no-brainer.

Hands down, no questions asked.

[sweetsmellosuccess]

TIFF 2020: Days 1 & 2

Films: 5 Best Film of the Day(s): One Night in Miami

One Night in Miami…: I guess you could form an argument that basing a film on a pre-existing play would make the feature easier to put together, but that wouldn’t be taking into account the tremendous differences between the mediums, their relative strengths and weaknesses. For her feature debut, the Oscar-winning actress Regina King has cinematically adapted the stage play  by Kemp Powers about a fictionalized fateful night amongst four famous Black men in 1964. Those men, Malcolm X (Kingsley Ben-Adir), Jim Brown (Aldis Hodge), Sam Cooke (Leslie Odom Jr.), and Cassius Clay (Eli Goree), are all in town ostensibly to celebrate Clay’s beatdown of Sonny Liston to first become the heavyweight champion of the world at the tender age of 22. But the film puts them all together in Malcolm X’s modest hotel room, watched over by Nation of Islam security men, to spend a night, essentially, debating the merits of what they bring to the struggle for Black equality and economic emancipation, and arguing back and forth about their distinct positions. Here is precisely where many play adaptations falter, without the dramatic friction of a live performance to power the emotional core, such conventions generally fall flat on the screen, but King’s virtuoso acting instincts serve her able cast well, and her work with DP Tami Reiker allows the film to flow, seemingly organically between its few location movements. Working from a skilled script by Powers, the celebrated figures feel three dimensional, which gives even their more didactic diatribes (Malcolm), and pithy rebuttals (Cooke) enough weight to avoid sounding contrived. The cast work wonders on the material, granting a needed organic vibe to their nonfiction characters, echoing the essences without tipping into caricature. It’s a strong debut for King, and the film’s complex ruminations on the responsibility of successful Black people towards their community as a means of bringing attention to the country’s oppression couldn’t be more on point. At one point Clay tells Cooke the four of them will always remain friends, because they are among the few who can possibly understand what it’s like to be “young, Black, famous, righteous, and unapologetic.”

Shiva Baby: Danielle (Rachel Sennott) is in the midst of having a day. Turns out Max (Danny Deferrari), the sugar daddy with whom she has frequently been visiting as part of her regular prostitution gig, is somehow a friend or cousin of the deceased at the same Shiva she has come to attend with her well-meaning, but completely overwhelming parents (Polly Draper and Fred Melamed). If that weren’t enough in Emma Seligman’s spry comedy, Danielle is also horrified to find Maya (Molly Gordon), a successful young woman she’s known for years, and a recent ex, also there. Crammed into the Shiva house, full of cousins and aunts and uncles all kvetching about everyone else, and being physically grabbed and moved about by her mother, Danielle faces this house of horrors, with everyone commenting concernedly on her weight-loss (“You look like Gwyneth Paltrow  —  on food stamps!” her mother hisses at her), and her lack of job prospects when she graduates, and her parents telling scathingly embarrassing stories about her in front of Max and his shiksa wife (Dianna Argon), whose 18-month-old baby, her mom says is “freakishly pale  —  and no nose,” with no respite in sight. As a result of this sort of hyper-scrutiny, Danielle goes the only route that makes any sense: Lying to everybody about nearly everything, from her current major (“gender business”), to the many job interviews she has supposedly lined up. She’s just trying to get through the ordeal, one that Seligman, along with a continually spiraling score from Ariel Marx, ratchets up, until, near the end, poor Danielle is in a near fugue state, sweat glistening on her face, and the attendees, shot in unflattering slo-mo, and distorted lenses, take on the sheen of a waking nightmare. At a brisk 77 minutes, the film still doesn’t have quite enough to sustain its running time  —  at a certain point it begins doubling back on itself  —  but it’s still a lot of horrific fun, as Seligman expertly captures the absolute loss of agency one can feel, swallowed up in a claustrophobic family gathering, where escape feels futile.

Limbo: If Scotland has a cinematic identity, as such, it seems like the kind of place, desolate and unforgiving, where individuals come to exit regular society and come to a land filled with eccentric loners (stoic and unique in their oddities), in order to get better in touch with their souls. Ben Sharrock’s serio-comedy captures both the pitiless beauty of the land, and the lonely plight of a Syrian immigrant, Omar (Amir El-Masry), waiting with a group of other men from across the Middle East and Africa, on an island off the mainland, for word from the Immigration Office that his bid for political asylum has been accepted. Omar, sweet-faced and approachable, was a musician by trade in his native Syria, and walks around everywhere carrying his precious oud, bequeathed to him by his grandfather, also a musician, even though his right hand is locked in a cast from an unspecified injury. Even without the cast, however, you get the sense that his heart really isn’t into playing, despite the entreaties from Farhad (Vikash Bhai), his Afghani roomie and self-appointed “agent and manager,” who wants him to enter a local music contest. Omar is carrying a significant amount of weight beyond missing his mother’s fragrant home-cooking. Talking to her on the lone payphone on the island, where other immigrants-in-waiting stand in line for a chance to hear from home, she implores him to speak to his older brother, who chose to stay behind in Syria and fight in the Civil War that has plagued the region for years. Omar feels guilty for having left, and suffers from having disappointed his father in the process. It doesn’t help him that the culture he finds himself in seems so foreign to him, despite his speaking flawless English. Sharrock’s brand of deadpan perfectly suits the setting, but as funny as the film can be (when asked in a culture/language class to create a sentence using the “I used to” construction, one immigrant offers “I used to be happy before I came here”), it doesn’t paint a rosy affirmation for Omar and his ilk, stuck as they are, as the title suggests, between countries and lives. Omar’s pain is real, and for every positive step forward he takes, it’s one further away from his family and his beloved home country.

Enemies of the State: Sonia Kennebeck’s challenging and curious documentary seems at first to present a case for its protagonist, Matt DeHart, a young teen hacker interested in social justice, who through his work with Wikileaks runs afoul of the U.S. government, and his beleaguered parents, Paul and Leann, who vigorously defend their only child against the evil forces conspiring against him. Through a series of personal interviews with Paul and Leann, both retired Air Force intelligence officers, who believe their country has turned against them for what Matt had downloaded from his computer into secret thumbdrives shortly before the FBI arrived at their door and confiscated all his equipment, and various lawyers they employed, first to protect Matt from what they claim as utterly bogus child-porn charges, then, after they slip away to Canada in the middle of the night, the lawyers trying to earn them asylum. While in Canada, under close supervision and confined to his parents’ apartment, Matt uses his charms, his hackavist bonafides, and his skill at PR, to generate enough interest in his case to become a digital cause celebe, along the lines of Edward Snowden and Chelsea Manning. Protests are fronted, defense funds gathered, and pressure put on the government to come clean about why they seem so hard-driving against the young man. During a peculiar reenactment set in a Canadian immigration hearing  —  Kennebeck employs actors who apparently lip sync their lines in perfect time with the actual recorded audio  —  DeHart describes a harrowing ordeal earlier in the affair, after having moved to Canada to attend college, being abducted by the FBI shortly after crossing the border to renew his Visa, and tortured for days for information related to the material on the thumb-drives. Some documentation seems to corroborate his claims (even Paul and Leann, as fierce supporters as can be, were shocked to see just how ready the FBI were to snatch him), but as the film continues, and we hear more and more from the investigators and prosecuting attorneys about the original child-pornography crimes, it becomes clear that our sympathies are being played with by Kennebeck. By the end, the film itself becomes an indictment of our rapid-assumption culture, in which decisions of guilt and innocence are determined in seconds online and forever after based on the presentation of information before us.

The Way I See It: For non Trumpites, the switchover from eight years of the dignified, intelligent, and measured leadership of Barack Obama, to the perma-tanned tackiness of power-mad, narcissistic bloviating of Donald Trump, was like a double-feature that went from Citizen Kane to Kevin James’ Loudest Farts. One man better than most to measure Obama’s time in office against the subsequent regime is photojournalist Pete Souza, who served as the official White House photographer for both of Obama’s terms, and has gone on to become an outspoken critic of Trump by way of his devastating IG account, in which he juxtaposes stately Obama photos with Trumps scandal-du-jour. Lest you think he’s just another divisively partisan liberal, you have to take into account his previous turn in the White House, as one of the official photographers for Ronald Reagan’s presidency. In fact, Souza’s fly-on-the-wall quality was considered one of his strengths in the oval office. Documentarian Dawn Porter travels with Souza as he makes the media rounds promoting his newest book, Shade, a collection of those IG photos that have earned him millions of social media followers (a sort of companion piece to his previous book Obama: An Intimate Portrait). Hauling from far-off India (where he gets a standing ovation before he even takes the stage), to domestic conferences and speaking engagements, Souza emerges as a man becoming more used to being out from behind his ever-present Canon lens. Through that lens, as he displays to his rapturous audiences, he has taken many hundreds of indelible photos, showing Obama’s various interactions with foreign dignitaries, his council of cabinet members, and his more raucous time with his two daughters (one shot of Obama with his girls making snow angels on the rear lawn during a heavy snow storm remains his computer screensaver, Souza says with pride). As Porter moves from talking heads to public oratories, Souza’s remarkable photos  —  brilliantly composed, and inspiringly intimate, having been given nearly unlimited access to the president  —  play throughout, showing us a collection of images that capture the inspiring hope the president inspired and the agonizing rigors of the job he was elected to perform. The film spends little time on his Reagan years, except to note how media and image-savvy the former Hollywood actor and his wife were (Souza professes no political ill-will towards the Reagans, other than noting that while he didn’t always agree with him, he was a genuinely caring man, who at least understood the parameters of leadership). At first, the film trolls Trump by a sort of subtweet level of backhandedness: Without directly naming names, Souza makes it entirely clear who he finds failing in comparison to Obama’s empathetic, engaging deportment, but by the time the film comes around to his notorious IG account, there can be no doubt the subject of his ire. Souza maintains it has less to do with his partisan feelings (his political affiliation is never revealed), and more the way he finds the current president’s undignified manner and total disrespect for the office and the leadership it demands unacceptable. Trumpers will of course take great exception to the portrait the film portrays of the sitting president, but even the most hardcore GOP folks won’t be able to help noting the blatant differences between the loving, genuinely close Obamas; and the preening, viciously competitive Trumps, each trying to outdo the others in acting as their father’s primary sycophant.

In a year of bizarre happenings, and altered realities, TIFF has shifted its gears to a significantly paired down virtual festival. Thus, U.S. film critics are regulated to watching the international offerings from our own living room couches.

[9w1ft]

feels a little early to be writing a year-in review but i find myself in a quiet moment so i thought i’d tap a few things out

in 2019, in all facets of my life, i faced a challenge of some sort and i surprised myself as i held my ground more often than ran away, which felt new. what *also* felt new was this sense of ease i began having professionally, when it came to conceptualizing and making decisions. sorta feels like a lot of things are crystallizing.

in terms of life on here, i didn’t have TSL for the majority of the year (anybody out there remember TSL?!) so i busied myself with crafting fun memories on my own. there were spans of weeks where i’d just get on a tear and run into one new thing after the other and it was all really just fantastic. i gave myself permission to indulge in the most decadent of things and to follow the most mercurial of assumptions to places i thought closed off.

i’m pretty sure i’ve smiled and laughed more over this year than i ever have in my entire life. no joke.

here are some kaylorverse moments that brought me joy in 2019:

it’s nice to have a friend

2018 was my first year being a kaylor and i just sort of was moreover on the contributor or commenter side of things so 2019 was interesting in that when taylor really leaned into the gay imagery leading up to album release, i started getting newer people sending me stuff! and asking me my takes on things! and like, my words suddenly had weight for some reason? it felt weird but i truly enjoyed getting to talk with so many different people and hear their ideas and laugh and such. that was markedly different from last year. from within this, 79-swift reached out to me with the eye theory, the most beautiful and rare of observations by a singularly lovely individual that i have dedicated my life to protecting and promoting. and i feel like i’ve gotten to know many people i knew through 2018 more deeply and have come to accept the role i play, lean in to it, and formulate my own truth of the matter, and that sort of heightened perspective on it has been a blessing and i’m so thankful for this strange sense of camaraderie that has formed with many of you? thank you??? and my conviction, and my wishes, for the girls to find happiness have only strengthened this year... im committed to seeing this through whether people like it or not!! harumph!

block ‘em

i also started proactively curating my experience.. that’s right! i began blocking trolls with reckless abandon, and i turned anons off! 😂 and damn it’s so much more worthwhile of a time on here when you set aside people that only want to ruin your day.

i got over my fear of eyeballs!!

😂 no seriously, body horror and in particular eyes out of context was actually sort of a thing that previously creeped me out BUT LOOK AT ME NOW. i’m gonna do my best not to rehash the eye theory, please read the post and recall the number of times i filipped out 😂 each and every one is precious to me

also

geeking out with bert and ernie gifs with kaylorfossil and making empsmd-blog drop her debit card need a mention.

the ME! music playlist.

i fell in love with so many songs and like, running into eye motifs in so many of the songs, lyrically and visually, was the most hilarious thing. but really just a lot of the songs really tapped at my soul with an ice pick and i even went to go see The Japanese House live in Osaka which was transcendental and i’m just so thankful for having taylor introduce Good At Falling to me because it was a *necessary* album.

i made and collected stuff

i made and amassed many artifacts that one day i can look back on and remember what a wild ride it has been. some favorites are my procuring of the pixel art heart ring from the ME! mv (a nod to my tsl days..), as well as the evil eye ring.. i didn’t physically make this but the eye theory made the taydar podcast and there’s nothing i enjoy more in this world than making someone giggle and i just love that the episode exists. making that kaylor straw was 👌 working on a mock-up of the golden locket has been very satisfying. i started incorporating fun kaylor winks into my artwork as well which was fun, and i also commissioned a collage from the very talented and lovely valheria and i couldn’t have asked for anything better 🥰

wildin in the TS7 tag was the best.

i made this observation that there’s this type of cocoon that looks like a cobra, which transforms into a butterfly over a period of 13 days, and like, the post got so many notes and i just had a lot of swiftie eyeballs all of a sudden on my blog which led to some hilarity. but honestly i just love geeking out over theories and it’s fun to get to do that as fans of taylor at large. things felt warm and effervescent.

my newspaper subscription

i subscribe to the TTB Times and let me just say the submissions and anons this year were overwhelmingly a delight to read through every day. also like, we did get cued in to stuff before album release and i am just thankful that there are people out there both who want to give us that and people who work to help them give us that. thank you ttb for moderating your blog (my newspaper of choice) however it is that you do and to everyone that contributed to her blog.

the whole lead up to the ME! video release

so glorious... but particular the hour before. i was rushing to pick up my kid from school and suddenly i kept getting messages from people that taylor was covering her face and framing her eyes, and i was like oh please yeah sure BUT THEN when the snake in the video had a blank eye like i don’t think you guys understand i had to wait at a bus stop and exchange pleasantries with the other moms but it was a *five alarm fire* in my mind

cause shade never made anybody less gay

stealing away to listen to YNTCD for the first time and hearing Taylor Alison Swift use the word gay in a released song for the first time was a transcendental moment

karlie’s hand in the YNTCD mv.

‘nuff said

daisies. daisies everywhere.

taylor said daisy kaylor rights, and she said it everywhere. *everywhere*. cannot, will not, get over how blessed we are.

gay gay gay gay gay.... taylor’s

sorry not sorry that wiz khalifa collab with elohim on her track FYM was ethereal and i still hope it’s a part of the preshow playlist for Lover Fest

clue hunting in klossy videos and karlie ads

call me a corporate shill all you want like, there’s always a little something in there and i also enjoy the little flickers of goofy karlie that jump out from time to time. and i know this is not the case for everyone but post eyepocalypse, karlie leaning in, winking that eye of hers time and time again was just pique comedy for me and it always made me chuckle. the brands karlie has repped have been really laying it on thick too and it’s been a joy to see. when taylor does it with her music it’s art, and for me karlie’s media presence is a form of art too 😌

oh kaptain my kaptain

kimby liked a comment of mine on her insta which was a distinct honor and privilege 😌 and really she was dropping clues left and right through spring up until she got her snazzy new job and things calmed down 🥰 of which i am so proud talk about an on brand job! also partially clearing the air about my TSL theory and the lead up to clearing that air was quite fulfilling for me and i am forever grateful for the time we shared. and to this point, the seesters in general (and kurt omg) have been quite active all year and we don’t deserve it but they’ve stuck around and it’s been calming.

album cover art release on the livestream

LIKE I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE NEVER HAD A FOURTH WALL BROKEN SO DULY

i love you forever, thank you for everything

when taylor came to visit tokyo this year i was basically reenacting the swamp scene from OOTW trying to get a ticket to the secret event... i listened to ME! on LINE MUSIC for over 2000 plays, i bought multiple CD’s, it was such an ordeal and then to not have a ticket after all but still putting on my thinking cap and managing to figure out where the event was while i was at disney sea and literally running from disney sea to the venue in high heels with The Man playing on my phone was oscar-worthy and actually *being correct* and the moment i knew i was correct and how i knew i was correct was so amazing 😉 and i play by the rules so i didn’t try to get in without a ticket and i didn’t lurk. but just to have figured it out and validated it was such a thrill. seeing her on TV live was amazing as well ///

lost in japan, reprise

oh and, last year for rep tour there was this theory i had which didn’t pan out but it had to do with the clues i thought shawn mendes was dropping through autumn 2018 and anyway that’s a story for another day but as i was bopping around town, looking for lockets, staying in rooms i have no business being in, drinking lots of whisky...just to know that while i was doing *everything but* successfully meeting taylor, she literally phoned shawn and had him record lines for that eye theory remix like, i will never ever, like, guys. guys. 😂 it’s too perfect for words. the world is weird like that sometimes.

Lover

and omg Lover the album? i absolutely love lover and i loves that honeymoon period of theorizing and parallel unearthing that we did and i love how slightly creepy-cute it is and i love the whole wabi-sabi thing going on and i absolutely love every song on the album, every one, they all have so much meaning to me... and each one is teeming with little blips and bloops and sound samples and seconds of silence and i love all the brass instruments and so many lush moments... i guess my shortlist (in no particular order) would be the archer, lover, i think he knows, daylight, cruel summer, false god, cornelia street, ME! (yea i really like me 🥰). and to think about everything that went in to the album and the thrill of what it might have been and the vastness of what we don’t know, but like, the weight of that potential?? it’s like this vast pastel and black abyss of drowsy and deep feelings and i love every inch of it. it’s a vibe that reflects so much of what this year has been for me and i’m happy to have existed in this time to have had it with me.

jesus this has gotten too long, and i still have like 24 more things to write out but um, basically, as i’m sure you’ve been able to assume? i wanted to say that despite 2019 being somewhat of a slasher film affair for our fandom, i still had a goddamn great time this year and i hope everyone can find some good memories and relive them as well 🥰