#steelskin

[cloaksandcapes]

A simple potion, but the implications of using it correctly could have some dramatic and cinematic effects in your DnD session! Use it wisely.

Potion of Steelskin

Potion, rare

“A clear, thin, flask-like bottle filled with a silvery, liquid.”

When you drink this potion you become immune to all damage until the start of your next turn.

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[shuttershocky]

Consider, Barret.

I'm always considering Barret!

He's my favorite FF7 character and his design in Remake is outstanding.

Parts of Barret didn't age too well (his original character concept is "big and scary man" and he's the only major black character so uhhhhh) but I love that he's an unapologetic revolutionary and a genuinely charismatic leader that cares for the people under him as much as for his cause, whether or not they're even his responsibility.

One of the more endearing parts of the Remake is all the ways that Barret still cares for Cloud despite Cloud only being a hired merc instead of being a true believer in Avalanche; he gets worried when Cloud doesn't make it back immediately after they bomb Mako Reactor 1, and when they bomb Mako Reactor 5 and Barret thinks Cloud is about to fall to his death, Barret immediately says "Listen merc, I was wrong about you!" because he won't let anyone under his command die without him doing everything he could, even if all he can do is tell them they made him proud. He even offers to to stay behind and help Cloud battle Rufus Shinra, expecting Rufus to cheat (he does) and not wanting Cloud to sacrifice himself just to buy the party time to escape when that should be his responsibility as Avalanche leader.

He's even a loving father that spoils his daughter Marlene, but instead of making that detail something that contrasts his hardass personality, it's because he has a child that he's a hardcore eco-terrorist—his child's future is on the line.

I love that he's obviously the most well-read party member, quoting books about planetology and social justice in between all of his other lines being a Mr. T caricature. When the likes of Tifa grow uncomfortable with Avalanche's mission because of the ordinary people whose lives they disrupt too, he's always there to steady her and remind them all that their fight is literally for the planet's life; most Shinra employees are ordinary people just trying to do their best for their families, but Shinra itself is slowly destroying the planet and will kill them all, this fight must be done for everyone's sakes. A good man that serves an evil master must recognize his complicity before he can redeem himself.

One of the coolest things the Yuffie DLC does is expand more on Avalanche as a resistance group with different factions, with the main faction receiving support from Wutai. Barret's group is called "the splinter cell" because the other Avalanche factions don't want to associate with them since they think bombing the Mako reactors goes too far. The rest of Avalanche don't want to destroy Shinra entirely and ruin the lives of many people in the process, they want to force it into reforms.

Sonon and Yuffie end up chatting about this and Sonon says "The problem is, Avalanche is made of good people. They're soft. They want things like better work conditions, fair elections, equality for the undercity members. They can't do what needs to be done, and will eventually be against us. If you ask me, those guys in the splinter cell are who we should be supporting." Sonon is speaking as a Wutai agent out to destabilize Midgar in vengeance for Midgar burning Wutai to the ground back in the war, but it also really highlights how Barret is the only real force for change inside Avalanche, if all the other Avalanche factions are getting support from other countries and doing nothing while Barret is waging a full on war and earning victories against Shinra with only a gun, a girl that can punch good, and a twink with a big sword.

Also gameplay-wise Barret carries this fucking team on his back. Steelskin and his huge healthpool make Barret a tank (very important when many enemies can decide to give you the finger and wipe the entire team), and Lifesaver allows Barret to take damage meant for his teammates, which is critical for surviving many tough fights, but also makes gimmick/joke builds like Nailbat Cloud viable where you want to keep him on 25% health to have that crit chance and damage boost, but can't let him get slapped once or he dies.

That's on top of Barret's skills being your best ranged options in Remake that isn't spending MP (Aerith can do way more damage with spells but also dies to a sneeze without spending materia slots on HP Up), which is also highly important as half the enemies are flying around and Cloud can barely air attack until Rebirth reworked him. There's also bossfight gimmicks like The Arsenal's guns being interrupted by Focus Shot (you normally need Thundaga to stop it and Hard mode doesn't let you use items, making MP conservation really important) Maximum Fury being amazing at building stagger on bosses from the sheer hitcount and being very satisfying to use, and Barret's incredible Deadly Dodge allowing you to cheese the super annoying Brainpod fight because he swings his gun and hits all the Brainpods at once.

Finally, it's really funny how the Remake added in a big cosmic fate force called the Whispers that have the ability to raise the dead and cause or prevent disasters as fate demands it only for them to be destroyed by Barret and Red XIII shooting it repeatedly. Capital D Destiny, a fundamental force of the multiverse, was slain by the power of a guy with a gun and a weird dog.

[hunger--endured]

Ram knows the risks as much as any other Tenno. The sharp cold sense of urgency sitting low in his gut as he guides his railjack towards the location of the beam. He leans into the forward tilt of the ship, peering over the edge of the viewing port and down further beneath them. He doesn’t have to look for long.

Void storm.

A kicked-up raging thing out here between Orion proxima and Sol. A place where the storms hardly ever touched. A place that was often empty air save for when the ever-moving Fortress slowly made its way on through. But now, flashes of light and the dark-warped tendrils of Void licked at the empty space like a fresh wound. Hungry to eat up whatever it could. He can practically feel the silvery, high song of the Void in his blood even from here. He leans back, the ship listing and leaning and straightening itself out again.

Ram leans down, engaging the autopilot. Some sheer, high, silvery noise raises his head to the storm outside. He should wait. Dissel had said not to engage, hadn’t she?

And what of the cephalon? What of the railjack? It’s desperate pleading for aid? His slowly failing mind? What if something was eating him? The reliquary drive had been breached and all Ram could think about was the choir of Angels, gorging themselves like fat, hungry insects on what remained of it. The Void twists and curls around them but he knows to get closer he’s going to have to deploy into his archwing.

His stomach drops out as he does, Grendel’s metal-flesh meeting the bitter cold (?) hot (?) dry (?) place of the bare Void. The weightlessness, the tug at the back of his mind. This was a far cry from navigating an archwing out into empty space. This was navigating through the storm to draw closer and closer to the railjack until—

He spots it. Spreading the wings out, he can feel the tug of stopping on the harness. Ram raises a hand, waving at the railjack and gets—

It’s closer. Closer than he’d thought. And it looks wrong. The body of the ship is turned, warped horribly, trying to rearrange itself into something resembling a ship. Into something like the Old War ships that had once blotted out the skies. He blinks and the ship is warped, turned, looking at him. Void-warped metal thing trying, trying, trying more than anything to represent what it had once been. Ram gets closer. It’s all wrong. The ship is flipped inside out. The ship is curled in on itself. The ship is there but it’s miles away. The ship is—

The ship has opened some great metal maw.

HAZARD. HAZARD. PLEASE EVACUATE. HAZARD.

The ship has all around him now. He can feel the archwing go first, crushed inside of the railjack. All of the little complicated mechanical bits in it suddenly sputtering out.

And he can feel the ships metal embrace crush Grendel next. Can feel the panicked give of the Helminth-gifted steelskin break and pull away from the musculature, from the inside. Can feel the way a limb folds in on itself and it hurts but he can still get out. He can still—

Transference fails.

A familiar rush, a de-coupling of the body. Suddenly, it was Ram. Just Ram. And he is crushed. And he can feel the bare touch of the Void unmaking him as the ship crushes down into his bare, human frame. As the great metal maw, the open palm, as teeth, tear away into him and explode his deepest interiors to the Void itself. His blood— His pain— It digs into his bare skin, pulling the meat of his body out like a ravenous animal while tucking him down on himself, folding his body until he wears he can hear the blood being squeezed out of him, until he can feel the bones moving underneath his unguarded flesh snap and crumble under the machine’s embrace. Until every part of him, every strip of sinew, every tattered tendon, every muscle was pressed and stretched and crushed and reduced to— to—

Ah. He thinks. Dissel will be so mad.

Just like that, though, the metal eases back, his body falling loose from the confines of metal teeth. Bitten in half but still alive as the Void rushes in, seeking to take the place of where his flesh had once been. It burns, it’s cold, his vision goes blurry and he can hear the ship Cephalon somewhere in the back of his mind but. But. But.

He reaches out. And although Grendel is partially crushed and although transferring into him hurts, flattens out his lungs in a way that makes it hard to breathe, makes it hard to move, he does it. The Void-touched railjack that had wrapped itself around him now fled, limp-skipping through the following Voidstorm. He can feel the Void leaking in, can feel the steady tug of it like a stray thread on embroidery. He wheezes and Grendel makes some sort of awful half-gurgle. Something like blood sits at the back of his throat.

The scraps of the archwing are barely able to guide him back to the railjack, crumble the moment he gets into the ship and into the false gravity. Immediately, he transfers out of Grendel and feels the sting of open wounds, sees blood on himself, and collapses onto the metal floor, protected from the Void rushing in again and filling the seams the Voidtouched ship had made.

Ram sits, knees numb underneath of him, bare hand trying to staunch the blood of his lip-nose-mouth-brow, too unclear on where all the injuries were and how much exposure he’d had exactly. A single slick hand touches the floor, pushing himself to sit up and back against the metal wall of the ship, his head bumps against it.

He reaches up again, feeling along down the presenting face until his finger brushes against the too-cool, singing skin of the Void. He pulls his hand away, shutting his eyes tightly for a moment and trying to imagine how, exactly, he’s been rearranged. How deeply, exactly, the Void had touched him again. And how much it had carefully undone with just the few seconds he had been out in some machine vice. Ram opens them again, glancing down at his arm and— Nearly the whole thing was—

He shuts his eyes again. Turns. Spits blood into the floor of the ship. Waits.

Under his skin, the song of the Void hummed.

[taxman-talkman]

Shorty fucking loves sitting on people. It’s a real problem because he’s heavy. I guess… Well, I guess it’s not so much of a problem actually because most of the people here are Grineer or a million pounds of steelskin Tenno. So. You know.

Still, he loves to paw at people until they let him up into their laps and then he just sits there. Contently. Or he’ll try to crawl up on them. I had a smaller MOA when I was younger named Zicky who used to do the same thing. But, again, he was smaller.

[istumpysk]

Operation Stumpy Re-Read

ADWD: The Kingbreaker (Barristan III) [Chapter 67]

Welcome to this week's episode of How to Not Catch a Killer.

A pale shadow and a dark, the two conspirators came together in the quiet of the armory on the Great Pyramid's second level, amongst racks of spears, sheaves of quarrels, and walls hung with trophies from forgotten battles.

"Tonight," said Skahaz mo Kandaq. The brass face of a blood bat peered out from beneath the hood of his patchwork cloak. "All my men will be in place. The word is Groleo."

Goodness, this guy totally passes the vibe check. Not a radar ping in sight.

A blood bat now. What does that mean?

+.+.+

"Groleo." That is fitting, I suppose. "Yes. What was done to him … you were at court?"

"One guardsman amongst forty. All waiting for the empty tabard on the throne to speak the command so we might cut down Bloodbeard and the rest. Do you think the Yunkai'i would ever have dared present Daenerys with the head of her hostage?"

Is that the 18th time we've been reminded that masked Shavepate could have been present when the attempted poisoning happened?

+.+.+

No, thought Selmy. "Hizdahr seemed distraught."

"Sham. His own kin of Loraq were returned unharmed. You saw. The Yunkai'i played us a mummer's farce, with noble Hizdahr as chief mummer. The issue was never Yurkhaz zo Yunzak. The other slavers would gladly have trampled that old fool themselves. This was to give Hizdahr a pretext to kill the dragons."

Ser Barristan chewed on that. "Would he dare?"

"He dared to kill his queen. Why not her pets? If we do not act, Hizdahr will hesitate for a time, to give proof of his reluctance and allow the Wise Masters the chance to rid him of the Stormcrow and the bloodrider. Then he will act. They want the dragons dead before the Volantene fleet arrives."

Chief mummer according to the guy who wears theatre masks.

Wait for it.

+.+.+

His queen was the Mother of Dragons; he would not allow her children to come to harm. 

Can you please read these words and acknowledge how silly they are.

+.+.+

"No." The two of them had argued this before. "There is a peace, signed and sealed by Her Grace the queen. We will not be the first to break it. Once we have taken Hizdahr, we will form a council to rule in his place and demand that the Yunkai'i return our hostages and withdraw their armies. Should they refuse, then and only then will we inform them that the peace is broken, and go forth to give them battle. Your way is dishonorable."

You know what is honourable? Staging a coup because an untrustworthy masked weasel told you to.

Arresting Hizdahr is breaking the peace deal, genius.

+.+.+

"We discussed this. You agreed it would be my way."

"I agreed," the Shavepate grumbled, "but that was before Groleo. The head. The slavers have no honor."

"We do," said Ser Barristan.

The Shavepate muttered something in Ghiscari, then said, "As you wish. Though we will rue your old man's honor before this game is done, I think. What of Hizdahr's guards?"

"Your way is stupid," the Shavepate said. "The hour is ripe. Our freedmen are ready. Hungry."

The Shavepate is going to suggest some pretty outrageous ideas throughout this chapter, and grumble every time he's forced to concede.

<- Tyrion XII

Tyrion plucked at his scar and wondered if he ought to make a show of indignation. When you bugger a man you expect a squeal or two. He could curse and swear and rant of robbery, refuse to sign for a time, then give in reluctantly, protesting all the while. But he was sick of mummery, so instead he grimaced, signed, and handed the scroll back to Brown Ben.

Except he's not actually conceding anything. The Shavepate is getting everything he wants: Hizdahr removed from power, and war with Yunkai / the Sons of the Harpy.

+.+.+

Selmy did not fear Khrazz, much less Steelskin. They were only pit fighters. Hizdahr's fearsome collection of former fighting slaves made indifferent guards at best. Speed and strength and ferocity they had, and some skill at arms as well, but blood games were poor training for protecting kings. In the pits their foes were announced with horns and drums, and after the battle was done and won the victors could have their wounds bound up and quaff some milk of the poppy for the pain, knowing that the threat was past and they were free to drink and feast and whore until the next fight. But the battle was never truly done for a knight of the Kingsguard. Threats came from everywhere and nowhere, at any time of day or night. No trumpets announced the foe: vassals, servants, friends, brothers, sons, even wives, any of them might have knives concealed beneath their cloaks and murder hidden in their hearts. For every hour of fighting, a Kingsguard knight spent ten thousand hours watching, waiting, standing silent in the shadows. King Hizdahr's pit fighters were already growing bored and restive with their new duties, and bored men were lax, slow to react.

I'm sorry, how many kings and princes have died on your watch?

All I want in life is for Arya Stark to humble this man.

+.+.+

"Have no fear. We will have Marghaz in chains before he can make mischief. I told you, the Brazen Beasts are mine."

Hear that reader? We have to keep repeating it.

The Brazen Beasts are his.

At the base of the Great Pyramid, Ser Barristan awaited them beside an ornate open palanquin, surrounded by Brazen Beasts. Ser Grandfather, Dany thought. Despite his age, he looked tall and handsome in the armor that she'd given him. "I would be happier if you had Unsullied guards about you today, Your Grace," the old knight said, as Hizdahr went to greet his cousin. - Daenerys IX, ADWD

+.+.+

"You say you have men amongst the Yunkishmen?"

"Sneaks and spies. Reznak has more."

Reznak cannot be trusted. He smells too sweet and feels too foul. "Someone needs to free our hostages. Unless we get our people back, the Yunkai'i will use them against us."

Really? He smells too sweet?

#JusticeForReznak

+.+.+

"Would you miss them so much, old man? A eunuch, a savage, and a sell sword?"

Hero, Jhogo, and Daario. "Jhogo is the queen's bloodrider, blood of her blood. They came out of the Red Waste together. Hero is Grey Worm's second-in-command. And Daario …" She loves Daario. He had seen it in her eyes when she looked at him, heard it in her voice when she spoke of him. "… Daario is vain and rash, but he is dear to Her Grace. He must be rescued, before his Stormcrows decide to take matters into their own hands. It can be done. I once brought the queen's father safely out of Duskendale, where he was being held captive by a rebel lord, but …"

"… you could never hope to pass unnoticed amongst the Yunkai'i. Every man of them knows your face by now."

I could hide my face, like you, thought Selmy, but he knew the Shavepate was right. Duskendale had been a lifetime ago. He was too old for such heroics.

Now feels like a good time to remind you of all the evidence pointing to Arya freeing Jon in King's Landing.

etc. etc.

Sorry, I'll accumulate it all some other time.

+.+.+

"Would you miss them so much, old man? A eunuch, a savage, and a sell sword?"

[...]

"Daario might piss on us if we were burning. Elsewise do not look to him for help. Let the Stormcrows choose another captain, one who knows his place. If the queen does not return, the world will be one sellsword short. Who will grieve?"

"And when she does return?"

"She will weep and tear her hair and curse the Yunkai'i. Not us. No blood on our hands. You can comfort her. Tell her some tale of the old days, she likes those. Poor Daario, her brave captain … she will never forget him, no … but better for all of us if he is dead, yes? Better for Daenerys too."

How strange, it seems like the Shavepate is eager to get rid of the Dothraki savage, and sellsword lover.

If we do not act, Hizdahr will hesitate for a time, to give proof of his reluctance and allow the Wise Masters the chance to rid him of the Stormcrow and the bloodrider.

Is Barristan picking up on this? Of course not.

+.+.+

Better for Daenerys, and for Westeros. Daenerys Targaryen loved her captain, but that was the girl in her, not the queen. Prince Rhaegar loved his Lady Lyanna, and thousands died for it. Daemon Blackfyre loved the first Daenerys, and rose in rebellion when denied her. Bittersteel and Bloodraven both loved Shiera Seastar, and the Seven Kingdoms bled. The Prince of Dragonflies loved Jenny of Oldstones so much he cast aside a crown, and Westeros paid the bride price in corpses. All three of the sons of the fifth Aegon had wed for love, in defiance of their father's wishes. And because that unlikely monarch had himself followed his heart when he chose his queen, he allowed his sons to have their way, making bitter enemies where he might have had fast friends. Treason and turmoil followed, as night follows day, ending at Summerhall in sorcery, fire, and grief.

Her love for Daario is poison. A slower poison than the locusts, but in the end as deadly. 

Blah blah blah biased Targaryen history.

+.+.+

"We have hostages as well," Skahaz Shavepate reminded him. "If the slavers kill one of ours, we kill one of theirs."

"Hostages," insisted Skahaz mo Kandaq. "Grazdar and Qezza are the blood of the Green Grace. Mezzara is of Merreq, Kezmya is Pahl, Azzak Ghazeen. Bhakaz is Loraq, Hizdahr's own kin. All are sons and daughters of the pyramids. Zhak, Quazzar, Uhlez, Hazkar, Dhazak, Yherizan, all children of Great Masters."

"Innocent girls and sweet-faced boys." Ser Barristan had come to know them all during the time they served the queen, Grazhar with his dreams of glory, shy Mezzara, lazy Miklaz, vain, pretty Kezmya, Qezza with her big soft eyes and angel's voice, Dhazzar the dancer, and the rest. "Children."

"Children of the Harpy. Only blood can pay for blood."

"So said the Yunkishman who brought us Groleo's head."

"He was not wrong."

"I will not permit it."

"What use are hostages if they may not be touched?"

Wow, now we're contemplating killing children. Any red flags, Barry? No? No one home?

I will not be giving Barristan Selmy an ounce of credit for not killing child hostages. Please.

+.+.+

"Prince Rhaegar had two children," Ser Barristan told him. "Rhaenys was a little girl, Aegon a babe in arms. When Tywin Lannister took King's Landing, his men killed both of them. He served the bloody bodies up in crimson cloaks, a gift for the new king." And what did Robert say when he saw them? Did he smile? Barristan Selmy had been badly wounded on the Trident, so he had been spared the sight of Lord Tywin's gift, but oft he wondered. If I had seen him smile over the red ruins of Rhaegar's children, no army on this earth could have stopped me from killing him. "I will not suffer the murder of children. Accept that, or I'll have no part of this."

Hey, remember the time Barristan Selmy mildly disagreed with Robert Baratheon killing 14-year-old Daenerys and her unborn child, then sat quietly like an obedient dog while Ned Stark abandoned his position as Hand of the King?

+.+.+

The Shavepate took an axe down off the wall, inspected it, and grunted. "So be it. No harm to Hizdahr or our hostages. Will that content you, Ser Grandfather?"

Poor thing has to settle for only a coup. Life's unfair.

+.+.+

Though the bat's brass mouth did not move, Ser Barristan could sense the grin beneath the mask. "Long has Kandaq waited for this night."

That is what I fear. If King Hizdahr was innocent, what they did this day would be treason. But how could he be innocent? Selmy had heard him urging Daenerys to taste the poisoned locusts, shouting at his men to slay the dragon. If we do not act, Hizdahr will kill the dragons and open the gates to the queen's enemies. We have no choice in this. Yet no matter how he turned and twisted this, the old knight could find no honor in it.

I am begging you to use your brain instead of a sword one time.

+.+.+

Elsewhere, he knew, King Hizdahr was consulting with Reznak mo Reznak, Marghaz zo Loraq, Galazza Galare, and his other Meereenese advisors, deciding how best to respond to Yunkai's demands … but Barristan Selmy was no longer a part of such councils. 

Here's an idea, why don't you wait and see what their plan is?

+.+.+

As the afternoon melted into evening, he bid his charges to lay down their swords and shields and gather round. He spoke to them about what it meant to be a knight. "It is chivalry that makes a true knight, not a sword," he said. "Without honor, a knight is no more than a common killer. It is better to die with honor than to live without it." The boys looked at him strangely, he thought, but one day they would understand.

"As for Lord Rickard, the steel of his breastplate turned cherry-red before the end, and his gold melted off his spurs and dripped down into the fire. I stood at the foot of the Iron Throne in my white armor and white cloak, filling my head with thoughts of Cersei. After, Gerold Hightower himself took me aside and said to me, 'You swore a vow to guard the king, not to judge him.' That was the White Bull, loyal to the end and a better man than me, all agree." - Catelyn VII, ACOK

+.+.+

Afterward, back at the apex of the pyramid, Ser Barristan found Missandei amongst piles of scrolls and books, reading. 

Whatcha reading there, sweet Missandei?

+.+.+

The memory was still bitter. Old Lord Whent had announced the tourney shortly after a visit from his brother, Ser Oswell Whent of the Kingsguard. With Varys whispering in his ear, King Aerys became convinced that his son was conspiring to depose him, that Whent's tourney was but a ploy to give Rhaegar a pretext for meeting with as many great lords as could be brought together.

There could be plenty of reasons why Varys was sowing fear. Your guess is as good as mine.

+.+.+

Rhaegar had chosen Lyanna Stark of Winterfell. Barristan Selmy would have made a different choice. Not the queen, who was not present. Nor Elia of Dorne, though she was good and gentle; had she been chosen, much war and woe might have been avoided. His choice would have been a young maiden not long at court, one of Elia's companions … though compared to Ashara Dayne, the Dornish princess was a kitchen drab.

Shut the fuck up.

A young maiden. Barristan would have been roughly 45 at the time. Gross.

+.+.+

Even after all these years, Ser Barristan could still recall Ashara's smile, the sound of her laughter. He had only to close his eyes to see her, with her long dark hair tumbling about her shoulders and those haunting purple eyes. Daenerys has the same eyes. Sometimes when the queen looked at him, he felt as if he were looking at Ashara's daughter …

I'll admit this is curious.

Barristan has no romantic feelings for Daenerys, yet still projects his long-lost love for Ashara onto Daenerys. He claims they have similar eyes, and that he often feels as if he's looking at Ashara's daughter. Daenerys is not Ashara Dayne's daughter.

Impossible to not be thinking about Rhaegar, Jon Connington, and Aegon here.

+.+.+

But Ashara's daughter had been stillborn, and his fair lady had thrown herself from a tower soon after, mad with grief for the child she had lost, and perhaps for the man who had dishonored her at Harrenhal as well. She died never knowing that Ser Barristan had loved her. How could she? He was a knight of the Kingsguard, sworn to celibacy. No good could have come from telling her his feelings. No good came from silence either. If I had unhorsed Rhaegar and crowned Ashara queen of love and beauty, might she have looked to me instead of Stark?

The vagueness of 'Stark' is hard to ignore.

The crannogman saw a maid with laughing purple eyes dance with a white sword, a red snake, and the lord of griffins, and lastly with the quiet wolf . . . but only after the wild wolf spoke to her on behalf of a brother too shy to leave his bench. - Bran II, ASOS

Who is more likely to grab a young maiden's attention: Brandon Stark or Ned Stark?

+.+.+

Rain, he thought. A storm is coming. If not tonight, upon the morrow. 

Buddy, you have no idea.

+.+.+

The faces of all the kings that he had served and failed floated before him in the darkness, and the faces of the brothers who had served beside him in the Kingsguard as well. He wondered how many of them would have done what he was about to do. Some, surely. But not all. Some would not have hesitated to strike down the Shavepate as a traitor.

Thanks, but I already knew there were better Kingsguard.

+.+.+

Twelve levels down he found the Shavepate waiting, his coarse features still hidden by the mask he had worn that morning, the blood bat. Six Brazen Beasts were with him. All were masked as insects, identical to one another.

Locusts, Selmy realized. "Groleo," he said.

"Groleo," one of the locusts replied.

"I have more locusts if you need them," said Skahaz.

This is the biggest fucking idiot in the entire story. Don't even try to tell me Victarion is dumber than this. You're wrong.

+.+.+

When Selmy reached those floors, he found the doors to the interior of the pyramid chained shut, with a pair of Brazen Beasts posted as guards. Beneath the hoods of their patchwork cloaks, one was a rat, the other a bull.

"Groleo," Ser Barristan said.

"Groleo," the bull returned.

Gosh, Hot Pie in King's Landing, and now Arya and Gendry in Meereen? They sure get around.

+.+.+

The archway leading to the royal bedchamber was guarded by a pair of sandalwood lovers, shaped and smoothed and oiled. Ser Barristan found them distasteful, though no doubt they were meant to be arousing. The sooner we are gone from this place, the better.

Is he talking about Meereen?

The man can sit through any atrocity being committed by a Targaryen, but finds art distasteful. He really is a boomer.

+.+.+

The robe was green satin, richly worked with pearls and silver thread. Under it the king was quite naked. That was good. Naked men felt vulnerable and were less inclined to acts of suicidal heroism.

The woman Ser Barristan glimpsed peering through the archway from behind a gauzy curtain was naked as well, her breasts and hips only partially concealed by the blowing silk.

I will condemn him for the bed slave, but I will not vilify the man for having sex with another woman. Not when Daario Naharis exists.

+.+.+

"Ser Barristan." Hizdahr yawned again. "What hour is it? Is there news of my sweet queen?"

"None, Your Grace."

Hizdahr sighed. "'Your Magnificence,' please. Though at his hour, 'Your Sleepiness' would be more apt." 

[...]

"I dreamed you found Daenerys."

"Dreams can lie, Your Grace."

"'Your Radiance' would serve. What brings you to me at this hour, ser? Some trouble in the city?"

+.+.+

"To ask a question. Magnificence, are you the Harpy?"

Hizdahr's wine cup slipped through his fingers, bounced off the carpet, rolled. "You come to my bedchamber in the black of night and ask me that? Are you mad?" It was only then that the king seemed to notice that Ser Barristan was wearing his plate and mail. "What … why … how dare you …"

"Was the poison your work, Magnificence?"

King Hizdahr backed away a step. "The locusts? That … that was the Dornishman. Quentyn, the so-called prince. Ask Reznak if you doubt me."

Watch as Barristan Selmy conveniently forgets he mistakenly reached the same conclusion.

The thought hit him like a slap across the face. Quentyn had grown up amongst the courts of Dorne. Plots and poisons were no strangers to him. Nor was Prince Lewyn his only uncle. He is kin to the Red Viper. Daenerys had taken another for her consort, but if Hizdahr died, she would be free to wed again. Could the Shavepate have been wrong? Who can say that the locusts were meant for Daenerys? It was the king's own box. What if he was meant to be the victim all along? Hizdahr's death would have smashed the fragile peace. The Sons of the Harpy would have resumed their murders, the Yunkishmen their war. Daenerys might have had no better choice than Quentyn and his marriage pact. - The Discarded Knight, ADWD

+.+.+

"Have you proof of that? Has Reznak?"

DO YOU HAVE PROOF IT WAS HIZDAHR?

+.+.+

They're all poisoners, these Dornish. Reznak says they worship snakes."

"They eat snakes," said Ser Barristan. 

So does Myrcella!

+.+.+

"I … hot spices do not agree with me. She was my wife. My queen. Why would I want to poison her?"

Was, he says. He believes her dead. "Only you can answer that, Magnificence. It might be that you wished to put another woman in her place."

You know what I do when I want to replace my dragon queen? Have two elaborate dragon thrones made.

King Hizdahr had replaced the bench with two imposing thrones of gilded wood, their tall backs carved into the shape of dragons. - The Discadrd Knight, ADWD

If crowning a bed slave is the best reasoning he can come up with, maybe it's time to take a step back.

This chapter alone should be evidence enough of how vulnerable Hizdahr is without Daenerys.

+.+.+

Ser Barristan nodded at the girl peering timidly from the bedchamber. "That one, perhaps?"

The king looked around wildly. "Her? She's nothing. A bedslave." He raised his hands. "I misspoke. Not a slave. A free woman. Trained in pleasure. Even a king has needs, she … she is none of your concern, ser. I would never harm Daenerys. Never."

A bed slave! Inexcusable.

Dany stepped away from her. "No. Irri, you do not need to do that. What happened that night, when you woke . . . you're no bed slave, I freed you, remember? You . . ." - Daenerys II, ASOS

+.+.+

"Hot and sweet and poisoned. With mine own ears I heard you commanding the men in the pit to kill Drogon. Shouting at them."

Hizdahr licked his lips. "The beast devoured Barsena's flesh. Dragons prey on men. It was killing, burning …"

"… burning men who meant harm to your queen. Harpy's Sons, as like as not. Your friends."

Burning men who meant to harm the queen? What is he talking about? Drogon killed men working in the fighting pits, and spectators.

The licking lips thing continues to be bizarre.

"Oh, gods," moaned Reznak, "he's eating her!" The seneschal covered his mouth. Strong Belwas was retching noisily. A queer look passed across Hizdahr zo Loraq's long, pale face—part fear, part lust, part rapture. He licked his lips. - Daenerys IX, ADWD

+.+.+

"Not my friends."

"You say that, yet when you told them to stop killing they obeyed. Why would they do that if you were not one of them?"

Could just as easily be their puppet.

+.+.+

"Tell me true," Ser Barristan said, "did you ever love her, even a little? Or was it just the crown you lusted for?"

Excuse you? Does she love him?

She loves Daario. He had seen it in her eyes when she looked at him, heard it in her voice when she spoke of him. 

This is ridiculous. It's a marriage of convenience, what are we doing here?

+.+.+

"Lust? You dare speak to me of lust?" The king's mouth twisted in anger. "I lusted for the crown, aye … but not half so much as she lusted for her sellsword. Perhaps it was her precious captain who tried to poison her, for putting him aside. And if I had eaten of his locusts too, well, so much the better."

Second time the possibility Hizdahr was the target is brought up.

+.+.+

"If you are not the Harpy, give me his name." Ser Barristan pulled his sword from the scabbard. Its sharp edge caught the light from the brazier, became a line of orange fire.

Azor Adumbass.

+.+.+

Ser Barristan heard a door open, somewhere to his left. He turned in time to see Khrazz emerge from behind a tapestry. He moved slowly, still groggy from sleep, but his weapon of choice was in his hand: a Dothraki arakh, long and curved. A slasher's sword, made to deliver deep, slicing cuts from horseback. A murderous blade against half-naked foes, in the pit or on the battlefield. But here at close quarters, the arakh's length would tell against it, and Barristan Selmy was clad in plate and mail.

[...]

The man was no knight, but his courage had earned him that much courtesy. Khrazz did not know how to fight a man in armor. Ser Barristan could see it in his eyes: doubt, confusion, the beginnings of fear. The pit fighter came on again, screaming this time, as if sound could slay his foe where steel could not. The arakh slashed low, high, low again.

Selmy blocked the cuts at his head and let his armor stop the rest, whilst his own blade opened the pit fighter's cheek from ear to mouth, then traced a raw red gash across his chest. 

I've learned three things about the Dothraki.

The Dothraki struggle with men in armor.

Qotho danced backward, arakh whirling around his head in a shining blur, flickering out like lightning as the knight came on in a rush. Ser Jorah parried as best he could, but the slashes came so fast that it seemed to Dany that Qotho had four arakhs and as many arms. She heard the crunch of sword on mail, saw sparks fly as the long curved blade glanced off a gauntlet. 

[...]

It was enough. Ser Jorah brought his longsword down with all the strength left him, through flesh and muscle and bone, and Qotho's forearm dangled loose, flopping on a thin cord of skin and sinew. The knight's next cut was at the Dothraki's ear, so savage that Qotho's face seemed almost to explode. - Daenerys VIII, AGOT

The Dothraki require a fool to meet them in an open field.

He nodded. "Mind you, Princess, if the lords of the Seven Kingdoms have the wit the gods gave a goose, it will never come to that. The riders have no taste for siegecraft. I doubt they could take even the weakest castle in the Seven Kingdoms, but if Robert Baratheon were fool enough to give them battle …" - Daenerys IV, AGOT

The Dothraki and all their horses would instantly die in the north (see every Stannis Baratheon chapter).

+.+.+

"Spare me," he begged. "I do not want to die."

"Few do. Yet all men die, regardless." Ser Barristan sheathed his sword and pulled Hizdahr to his feet. "Come. I will escort you to a cell." By now, the Brazen Beasts should have disarmed Steelskin. "You will be kept a prisoner until the queen returns. If nothing can be proved against you, you will not come to harm. You have my word as a knight." He took the king's arm and led him from the bedchamber, feeling strangely light-headed, almost drunk. I was a Kingsguard. What am I now?

A donkey.

I'm sure the Wise Masters and Sons of the Harpy will sit tight while he overthrows their king, and waits for Daenerys to return.

+.+.+

The boy addressed the king as if Ser Barristan were not there, as if there were no dead man sprawled upon the carpet, his life's blood slowly staining the silk red. Skahaz was supposed to take Reznak into custody until we could be certain of his loyalty. Had something gone awry? "Come where?" Ser Barristan asked the boy. "Where does the seneschal want His Grace to go?"

"Outside." Miklaz seemed to see him for the first time. "Outside, ser. To the t-terrace. To see."

"To see what?"

"D-d-dragons. The dragons have been loosed, ser."

Seven save us all, the old knight thought.

What do you mean? They're her children!

Way to go, Quentyn. The dragons escaping while her peace deal goes up in flames feels a little symbolic.

Skahaz was supposed to take Reznak into custody until we could be certain of his loyalty.

Unbelievable.

Final thoughts:

I've decided the best way for him to die is to fall down a flight of stairs immediately after Daenerys is murdered by a child right in front of him.

-> return to menu <-

[spsdraws]

Some varieties of Hobgoblins now!

Breed from goblin ancestors by a mysterious evil in a time long past, hobgoblins live in an extremely stratified society, where each member has an extremely specific purpose.

There are the magic resistant Elfbane. The brutal taskmasters of goblins, the Runtbosses. And the terrifying front line berserkers, covered in scars and calluses, the Steelskins.

[greenyvertekins]

A fun fact that I learned during my last Skies of Arcadia playthrough is that Tortigar can be cheesed by using Lunar Glyph! It can't go Steelskin or heal itself when it's petrified, but it can still take damage!

Found it out on accident, but it makes the boss fight 10x easier.

Wowza. I thought that only Zivilyn Bane's and Rik'Talish were the only bosses that were very prone to Lunar Glyph's stoning effect. I already defeated Tortigar but I'll keep that in mind next time I do another playthrough!

[logobosskingdom]

Online tamil bible

Like Cloud's Triple Slash ability, Smackdown can be very useful when surrounded by smaller enemies. Even so, most tend to see it as a waste of ATB. This means that you don't have to worry about overkill, nor are you ever likely to hit the 9,999 damage cap.Ĭharging Uppercut - Steel Pincers (1 ATB Bar)Ĭharging Uppercut is a fairly useless ability, although it does offer a slight reduction in cooldown for Barret's Overcharge triangle attack. What's more, Barret will also switch targets if the initial target is defeated before every shot has been fired off. It's made up of more than thirty hits, with each one capable of being critical. This will likely be your go to ability for dealing physical damage with Barret. Once used, Barret will take damage intended for other party members for two minutes or until he runs out of HP. Lifesaver - Light Machine Gun (1 ATB Bar)īarret's Lifesaver ability works a little bit like the traditional Cover mechanic from previous games. It's great for staggering enemies and, much like Cloud's Focus Thrust, is particularly effective against pressured foes. All damage is reduced by 30% while it's active and smaller enemy attacks will not interrupt Barret's casting and other abilities.įocused Shot - Gatling Gun (All ATB Bars)įocused Shot will use all of Barret's available ATB bars with more bars leading to a more powerful and effective attack. Steelskin is Barret's default ability and allows him to take reduced damage for 90 seconds. If, however, he is not attacked within a few seconds of adopting the stance, he will instead unleash a far weaker attack before reverting back to normal. If he's attacked while in this stance, he'll take reduced damage and unleash a powerful counter that will damage an enemy and significantly raise its stagger meter. Using Counterstance will cause Cloud to shift into a special stance for a short amount of time. It also allows Cloud to deal ranged damage and has a wide area of effect. Depending on how he is setup, it can therefore be a better option than the likes of Braver and Triple Slash in certain situations.

Unlike Cloud's other abilities, Blade Burst's damage is calculated based on his magic attack stat rather than his strength. While it can still be effective against unstaggered enemies, its high ATB cost and inability to build stagger make it incredibly situational. This is Cloud's most powerful ability and is a great way to deal damage to a staggered foe. It's a very situational ability, but can be useful in certain situations. Using Disorder allows players to switch between Operator and Punisher mode in an instant while drastically closing the gap between Cloud and his target. It also builds the stagger gauge a little, but is nowhere near as effective as Focus Thrust against pressured enemies. Triple Slash offers the best damage return per ATB bar and is very useful when you find yourself up against multiple enemies. It's particularly effective against pressured enemies and will therefor be one of your most used abilities during a standard playthrough. The primary use of Focus Thrust is to build an enemy's stagger gauge, although its damage potential isn't too bad either. That said, it's still very useful for the battle with Rufus and Darkstar towards the end of the game. It's great for earlier parts of the game, although is eventually outclassed by several of his other abilities. This is Cloud's default ability and offers a good mixture of damage and stagger potential.

[nogoodsheepstealing-greatgrandma]

[warsofasoiaf]

The pit fighter Steelskin has "intricate tattoos in green and black" that allegedly makes his skin like steel. It made me think of Dragonbinder's valyrian glyphs, valyrian steel armor, and that Ghis and Valyria fought long ago. Could Steelskin be tattooing himself because the ghiscari remember the valyrian soldiers having those glyphs on their bodies (even tho it was their armor not their skin) or am I overthinking a very minor character?

It’s entirely possible that the runes are a relic of a previous magical era, or simply imitations of something that worked in the past. The Royces have magic bronze armor that supposedly has runes of protection, so it’s not like this concept is unknown. But I doubt Steelskin’s tattoos do anything aside from look neat.

Thanks for the question, Anon.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

[shuttershocky]

Fun fact: the real reason Barret's Steelskin activation voiceline is "I'll take you all on!" is because he can in fact, take them all on

[officialinfinitia]

Nevaeh: Everything is fine. I've got it all under control.

Mariah: Is that while everything is on fire?

[lotophagous]

Chapter 104 Stress Test

Chapter 104 Stress Test

General Draje approached the small strike team, bony hands clasped behind a back that no longer stood straight. The nine soldiers saluted. Draje nodded to them. “Captain Magun, how is the arm?” “It’s better sir. A lot better.” Magun grinned from ear to ear, excited to be out on the field once more. His fight with Crnobog had left him in recovery for several weeks. Magun missed multiple missions…

[thelastgherkin]

Transformers x Back to the Future Collaborative: Gigawatt (DeLorean Time Machine)

More like Timeswipe.

More like this:

Siege Deluxe Class Sideswipe

Collaborative Ectotron

Siege Micromaster Race Car Patrol: Roadhandler and Swindler

[oldschoolfrp]

Minor gods of the gnomes: Baervan Wildwanderer and his giant raccoon companion Chiktikka Fastpaws -- patron of gnomish fighters and non-evil thieves, Flandal Steelskin -- patron of smiths and fighter/clerics, and Segojan Earthcaller -- patron of earth and nature, magic, illusionists, miners, and jewelers (Paul Sonju, from “The Gods of the Gnomes” by Roger E Moore, Dragon 61, TSR, May 1982)

[greenyvertekins]

Fuck this boss. Sacrulen and Steelskin-using asshole.