#steve is trying his best

[blaqcats-fics]

(He's) Just a Phase — Part 2

MASTERLIST

Word Count: 3.3K

March 1989

'I can't do this anymore!'

Steve flinched at the loudness in Eddie's voice. He looked at him, taking in the frown lines on his face and how his eyes nearly glowed in anger.

He had expected this. He had been waiting for the ball to drop eventually. There had been signs over the past month that he had picked up. It was small things that Steve was sure Eddie didn't notice he was doing.

First, it was just something small. It could have always been superficial to Eddie, but to Steve, it had always been something bigger, something more. It was a habit that Eddie had always had, and Steve wasn't sure Eddie knew he had done it.

Steve worked nights most of the time, meaning his schedule was the opposite of Eddie's. It had been hard, but they had made it work. They made sure they received the same days off so that they could spend time with each other. On the long days, Eddie would leave the hall light on when he went to bed before Steve got home.

It again wasn't much, but it was something.

When Steve came home, and the light wasn't on, Steve felt his chest tighten. Something was wrong. He did something wrong. Of course, against his better judgment and not openly communicating with Eddie, Steve kept his mouth closed and moved on.

The next tell was more significant. It gave an indication that Eddie knew what he was doing. It wasn't as superficial because they made sure of it together.

Eddie scheduled his band practice on their day off -- the day they used for date night. But, in true Steve fashion, he kept his mouth shut. So it didn't matter if Steve laid in bed all day, crying to Robin, trying to figure out what he did.

The other things fell into place after that, like ducks in a row, until he ended up facing Eddie's frustration.

'I'm sorry,' Steve mumbled.

Eddie gritted his teeth. 'And what are you sorry for, Steve? Please enlighten me!'

Steve wasn't sure. 'I, uh,' he licked his lips, gaze flickering to anywhere but Eddie's face.

'You don't know!' Eddie snapped.

Steve pursed his lips shut. 'No,' he said.

'That's the problem. You're so absorbed in your own head to not even notice what you're doing!' Eddie laughed. It was a bitter sound, and Steve felt a spear stab through his heart.

'I'm not,' Steve argued weakly. 'I thought we were fine.'

'You thought wrong,' Eddie exclaimed. 'I'm miserable, Steve. I'm tired. I'm tired of waiting for you to get your head out of your ass and realize that world isn't going to eat you alive.'

'What is this about?' Steve asked, his voice rising. He needed clarification. He needed things spelled out for him. He was terrible at reading between the lines, even if he knew he should be better at it.

'It's about you not wanting to be seen with me,' Eddie snapped. 'Or you don't want anyone to know about us. You either tell people were friends or that were fucking roommates. Dustin doesn't even know we're together!'

Steve flinched. 'That's not true,' he said. 'You know I love you-'

'You don't show it very well,' Eddie cut him off.

'Don't give me that!' Steve said, frowning. 'I didn't have my whole life to figure out I was bisexual! I'm sorry that I'm not ready to come out!'

'What do you have to lose, Steve?' Eddie hissed. 'You don't have anyone who would look at you differently! Your parents couldn't give a fuck about you, and everyone else would love you no matter what! What's so fucking scary, Steve? Why is it so hard to let people close to us know?'

Steve swallowed, tears stinging his eyes. Hurt flooded his system. It was a low blow on Eddie's part, mentioning his parents. It wasn't like Eddie was wrong. His parents didn't care about him. They especially didn't care about Steve after discovering all the 'scandalous' things that Steve was involved with. 'I just, um. I'm not ready, Eddie. I don't know what else you want me to say.'

Eddie laughed, 'Fuck, I don't know. That you'll try? That you'll tell at least Dustin! It's like you are ashamed to be with me!'

He was silent.

Eddie wasn't far from the truth.

Steve was ashamed but never of Eddie. There wasn't a fiber in Steve's bones that could ever be ashamed of Eddie. Steve was only ashamed of himself. He didn't know why he was, but every time Steve looked in the mirror, he felt disgusted with himself. He felt as if God would strike him down at any given moment for just enjoying kissing a man.

Nothing had to do with Eddie. Everything just had to do with Steve.

'Not everything has to deal with you, Eddie,' Steve said, voice tense. 'Nothing I've done about hiding my sexuality has to deal with you. I'm not ready. I don't know when I'll ever be ready!'

Eddie stared at Steve, expression unchanging. 'I'm not going to wait anymore.'

Steve felt his stomach drop. 'What does that mean?'

'It means what it means. I'm not going to sit here unhappy. I can't keep waiting for you to be ready,' Eddie said.

'Are you breaking up with me?' Steve asked, his voice shaking.

'I guess I am,' Eddie said.

'But,' Steve began, stumbling over the singular word.

Eddie shook his head. 'It's done. We're done.'

Steve bit his lip and nodded. He looked down at his lap, unmoving. What would he do, promise to try to get him to stay? He wanted to beg him to stay, but Steve knew he shouldn't. Not when any promises he made wouldn't be kept.

'Fucking hell, you have nothing to say, do you?' Eddie shook his head. 'I'm leaving. I'll be back this weekend to get my shit.'

Steve could only watch him walk out of the door.

He didn't move from the spot and wasn't sure how long he had sat there, staring blankly at the don't, trying to understand what had happened.

This wasn't like Nancy.

It was worse.

Because before, Steve had felt something — rage, disappointment, sadness. Right now, at this moment, felt hollow, as if a part of him had been removed.

It was when Eddie was actually gone that Steve called Robin. She moved to Dallas after graduation, and Steve only saw her two weeks out of the year. But, she had stayed Steve’s rock, and Steve in return her’s.

The dial tone echoed in his ear as he leaned against the doorway, staring into his bedroom. Besides the trillion tiny holes left over by the thumbtacks holding Eddie’s countless posters, the walls were empty. The bed had only two pillows, both plaid and ugly, a reminder that Eddie had been the one to hoard an enormous amount of pillows — a reminder that Steve’s favorite pillow had belonged to Eddie.

‘Buckley speaking,’ Robin’s voice filled the silence.

Steve’s lips twitched. ‘Hey, Birdie,’ he greeted.

‘Dingus!’ she cheered. ‘I was wondering when you were going to call.’

Steve pursed his lips, 'Yeah, sorry. It's been a rough week.'

‘Eddie picking up shifts again?’ she asked.

‘Uh, um,’ Steve rubbed his lips together, fighting the tears and tightness in his chest. ‘No,’ he managed to gasp out.

Robin was silent momentarily before her soft voice echoed on the receiver. ‘Stevie, what’s wrong?’

Steve found himself unwinding at the seams at the simple question, a loud, ugly sob choking out of him. ‘He’s gone, Robin. He left!’ he cried, the words rushed out and barely audible.

‘What? What do you mean he left?’ Robin exclaimed loudly in the line.

'We broke up,' Steve cried, his chest heaving as he cried harder. 'I fucked up, Robbie. It's all my fault he's gone!'

'Steve, honey, I need you to try and breathe for me. Focus on something and take a few deep breaths for me. I can't understand you writing now,' Robin instructed on the phone.

He did as she said. He focused on the black alarm clock on his bedside table, staring at the red glowing numbers. He took a deep breath, hiccupping as he breathed out. He did that for a few minutes.

'Better?' Robin asked.

'Mhm,' Steve vocalized. 'Sorry.'

'Babe, don't apologize,' she said. 'Now what happened?'

Steve closed his eyes, gripping the phone cord and using the wire to ground him. 'Eddie and I broke up a few days ago, maybe almost a week ago. Well, he broke up with me,' he mumbled, voice shaky.

'I thought you were good; you guys were happy,' Robin said.

Steve laughed, his voice bitter, 'Yeah, me too. Apparently not.'

'Do you know if he told you why?'

'I fucked up,' Steve said simply, thinking over the words that Eddie told him just a week ago. 'I didn't want to tell anyone we're together because I'm not ready. I've been pulling away, I guess. I don't know. He's upset that I don't want the relationship because I don't want people to know.'

Robin was quiet, 'Do, or well, did you want people to know?'

'Of course, I do, Birdie,' he said, choking on her nickname. 'I would scream that I love him from the top of a mountain for the whole world to hear, but I just-'

'You aren't ready yet,' Robin said.

'I'm not ready.'

Robin let out a soft sigh. ‘Do you need me to fly to Indianapolis?’ she asked.

Steve immediately shot her down, 'You have classes and work, Birdie. I can deal with this on my own. There's not like there's much to deal with.'

'We both know how you can get when you get lost in your head,' Robin said. 'And I'm going to be honest, I understand where Eddie's coming from. I know it's hard to hide something important from those who matter, but it's not fair to you, either. You can't rush someone to just come out. He should know that it's a terrifying feeling.'

Steve hummed. ‘I guess so,’ he mumbled. ‘I wish I could go back in time and be ready or click a fast-forward button.’

'We'll you can't,' Robin said. 'Don't overthink too much, Stevie. You two broke up, and you never know; in a month, you might end up back together.'

Steve pursed his lips. This wasn't the first time he and Eddie fought. It was different. They would take a few hours away from each other and then talk about it before the night ended. The worst fight ended with Eddie staying the night at Gareth's, but he came home, and they had sorted it out.

Eddie was gone this time. There wasn't a trace of him left in the apartment.

‘Do you think he would have stayed if I had told Dustin?’ Steve asked.

‘Maybe,’ Robin said. ‘But how long would that satisfy Eddie until he wanted more people to know?’

Steve sighed, moving to rub the wetness from his under his eyes. 'I don't know,' he whispered. 'Maybe this isn't bad,' Steve mumbled.

'What's that mean?'

'Maybe I need to work on myself. I'm not like you or Eddie. I haven't gone out much. I haven't really learned anything,' he said. He picked at the end of the Corroded Coffin shirt that he still has. It was worn and full of holes. Eddie had made it two years ago when they had moved to Indianapolis in celebration of getting a gig at a local bar. 'I haven't been open to learning new things. Maybe I should just focus on myself,' he whispered. 'Maybe I hadn't been ready for a relationship with Eddie, and I just jumped into it.'

'I think figuring yourself out would be a good thing,' Robin said. 'And don't doubt rushing into your relationship. You and Eddie would love each other, even if a chapter of your relationship ended.'

'So poetic,' Steve joked weakly.

'I'm minoring in English. I need to be,' Robin jabbed back. 'But seriously, Steve, don't do anything you're uncomfortable with. It'll be better if you find a new routine and get used to being alone. Then start broadening your horizons.'

Steve hummed, 'That'll be a start.'

'Maybe get a pet!' Robin suggested. 'You like animals.'

'To an extent,' Steve sighed.

'Oh, maybe you could call Owens,' Robin said, voice brightening. 'You still have his card, don't you?'

Steve glanced at the drawer by the fridge, 'Yeah, of course, I do. So why would I need to call Owens?'

'To, well, I don't know, actually do what he suggested you did a few years ago,' Robin said as if Steve knew what she was talking about.

'What the hell are you talking about?' Steve asked. 'You know I have the memory of a goldfish.'

'Ugh,' Robin groaned. 'You're helpless,' she said. 'Owens suggested that you start seeing a therapist for your PTSD, which I'm assuming you never did.'

Steve shook his head, 'No. Eddie did, though.'

'Either way, he also suggested you get a service animal. They help, you know. They can clock you when you're on the edge of having an attack. Or you can get one for your migraines. Do they have service dogs for migraines? You should be able to ask Owens. You still have them frequently, right? What do you think about your eyesight? Are you still having trouble seeing it? Or it's the strain you put on your eyes that causes migraines. You may need glasses, Dingus,' Robin rambled.

Steve rolled his eyes, 'You're rambling again, Birdie.'

'Sorry,' she said automatically. 'So?'

'So, what?'

'Dear Christ,' Robin scoffed. 'Are you going to talk to Owens or not?'

Steve frowned, 'I probably should.'

'So call him. Start fixing yourself because a knight and shining armor can't help you,' she said. 'Eddie couldn't help you. I can't help you. You have to do this on your own,' she added. 'Of course, you can like to talk to be, but you have to hold yourself accountable and all that jazz.'

'Fine,' he sighed. 'I'll call Owens.'

'Good!' Robin said. 'My sweet child,' she faked sniffing over the phone, 'growing up into a responsible young man.'

'Dear lord,' Steve laughed. 'Alright, Mom. I have to go. I have work in an hour and apparently have to call Owens.'

'Steve,' Robin said, voice serious.

'Yeah?'

'I love you,' she said. 'You'll get through this.'

'Love you too,' he said softly. 'Thanks.'

'Anytime, Dingus.'

'Do you think you would have ever come if your previous partner had never broken up?' Doctor Newman asked gaze focused on Steve as her pen was settled against the clipboard, prepared to write at a moment's notice.

Steve eyed the pen warily, feeling uncomfortable. Therapy was part of what Owens offered him to help treat his PTSD. While Steve didn't want to sit and be interrogated, he was doing this for himself (and Robin; he didn't want to disappoint her).

'Probably not,' Steve said, honesty laced in his voice.

He doubted it would have ever been a thought on his mind if he and Eddie were still together. Steve would have internalized everything like he had always done. Knowing that thought, Steve knew he wouldn't have a chance to change from who he was or the shell of who he thought he was.

'Why do you think you wouldn't have?' the woman asked.

Steve moved his gaze to the clock, staring at the second hand, watching as it made its way around, counting down the seconds of the minute. 'I wouldn't have realized that there was a problem. I probably would have just done what I did before, internalize everything.'

'I see. Did you need to internalize your feelings because you might have thought they made you less of a person?'

He tensed and shifted uncomfortably. 'Maybe. I don't know. I don't think my feelings are all that important. Like, I, uh, I don't know, I just think there's no need to make a big deal of them.'

Doctor Newman glanced down at her clipboard, writing something down. 'Hm.' She looked up at Steve, tapping her pen gently against the board. 'Well, you're feelings are important, and it's always okay to prioritize your feelings, even if you think that makes you selfish. Being selfish is alright, especially when your mental health will thank you. Sometimes we all need a break, and sometimes we all need to just sit somewhere and feel.'

Steve nodded, taking in her words. 'I get that, I do, but I grew up in a house where feelings were something you put on the back burner. Then with the event from '83 to '86, feelings seemed irrelevant when people around me were hurting worse, who deserved and needed the attention or care.'

'So, despite the trauma that had fallen on you, you believed it to be small compared to those around you?'

'I mean, yeah?' Steve said, confused. 'The kids were going through so much. They needed someone to lean on, to be cool and collected. They needed someone safe. That was me. It had to be me. The adults and the others were all trying to sort through their own issues, and mine seemed so small in comparison.'

'But they weren't,' Doctor Newman said. 'All your problems? They are just as important as everyone else's. You can't compare your trauma to someone else's because everyone experiences trauma differently.' She picked a vanilla folder off the table, opened it, and flipped through a few pages. 'Doctor Owens sent me your file,' she said. 'And I have to say that you have gone through a good bit of trauma, specifically with Starcourt.'

Steve licked his lips, mentally wincing at the thought of Starcourt. 'I guess.'

'While the Upside Down -- that's what you called it, correct?' Doctor Newman asked.

He nodded, 'The kids called it that. Something about a rat on a rope or something.'

She nodded, 'Alright. So while the Upside Down and the Russians greatly affected you, I think your trauma might have started earlier. Would you be comfortable telling me about your relationship with your parents?'

Steve glanced at the clock, frowning that not more than ten minutes had passed. He coughed, adjusting in his seat. 'There's not much to say,' he said. 'They weren't around a lot.'

'That's a big vague,' she wrote on her clipboard again. 'What were they like when you were a child, before they started becoming less of a fixture in your life? What were they like when they were home? What about now? What's your relationship like now?'

Steve lifted his hand to his mouth, nibbling on the nail of his thumb. His parents weren't something he wanted to talk about.

'This is a safe space,' Doctor Newman said. 'If you aren't ready to talk about your parents, we don't have to. Not until you're ready.'

'And if I'm not ready?'

'Then you aren't,' she said. 'We have all the time in the world, but I think some of your complications stem from your parents, and I can't help you without you opening up about your childhood. So, we'll return here each week until you're ready to face it.'

‘You make it sound easy,’ he laughed.

‘It’s not,’ Doctor Newman corrected. ‘Sharing something personal, especially when it's difficult to talk about, is far from easy. We don't know each other well, and I assume that even if you were more familiar with me, you still wouldn't find it easy to share your experience with me, and that is okay.’

Steve swallowed thickly. He didn't say anything for a moment, struggling to find the words. He licked his lips, glancing back up at the clock, then to his hands, then to Doctor Newman.

‘Uh, my parents,’ he started, before pausing, face pinching together.

‘Take your time,’ Doctor Newman said.

Steve took a deep breath, slouching deep into the chair. ‘Well, I think it started back in ‘76, after I turned 10,’ he began.

NOTE: Thank you guys for reading! I wasn't planning on doing a flash-back chapter, but I might throw them in between present chapters just to give context to what led up to Steve doing what he's doing. Also, if you've noticed, the break-up isn't a super bad one (in the context of why they could have broken up.) I wasn't going to have cheating or anything, but rather something that could be fixed, because I want a happy ending for my boys. Of course, it's worse in Steve's eyes because he just blames himself for stuff. IDK, I thought of doing something worse, but I felt that might be too much.

Also, if you aren't fond of reading fics on Tumblr and prefer the Ao3 formatting, the link to the fic is HERE. Tumblr sees all updates first, and there's a 1-4 hour delay of transfer posting to Ao3. I go through and edit everything. Tumblr is like the RAW/Uncut version, so to speak.

Remember that if you want to be added to the tag list to leave a comment below or send me a DM!

TAGLIST: @swimmingbirdrunningrock x @cinnamon-mushroomabomination x @phirex22 x @kylobith x @screaming-alone x @poopypantsbennett x @ledleaf x @rhyswritesreadsandcries

[hopefulsapphic]

i'm an early seasons steve harrington apologist. sorry. he was not a bad person he was not a bad boyfriend he was literally just 17

[harringroveera]

Steve tries to get Billy on good terms with the kids

Keyword: he tries

[a-little-unsteddie]

Steve had known it was a bad idea from the beginning.

Dustin had come barreling in to Family Video, dragging a disgruntled Eddie Munson behind him, begging him to host Hellfire because the school was hosting some christmas fundraiser and didn’t want the Dungeons and Dragons club interfering with the event.

“Steve,” Dustin cried, eyes wide, lip jutting out, “please let us have Hellfire in your house.”

Steve stared at Dustin, unimpressed. He had one eyebrow raised, with his hands on his hips. “Why can’t you have it at one of the other members’ houses? Y’know, as they’re in the club. I’m sure one of them can play host for your dumb little game.” He argued, ignoring Munson behind Dustin. Well, trying to. The Dungeon Master looked wildly uncomfortable to be there, glaring directly behind Steve in defiance.

“Because, none of their houses are big enough for all of us,” Dustin explained, leaning over the counter. Steve scrunched his nose up at the action, gently pushing him back a few inches. Robin was standing next to him, looking amused, gaze flickering back and fourth while watching the scene unfold. Traitor.

“Right, so why can’t you just postpone the game then?” Steve asked, sighing. He grabbed a few tapes from the returns bin, walking around the counter to actually do his job.

At that question, Eddie finally spoke, “We can’t just postpone the session, that’d be stupid. I told you he wouldn’t do it, Henderson.” Steve paused, cursing himself for being affected by the tone that Eddie had taken on. He knew that tone, that was a ‘why would King Steve do anything to help others’ tone, or worse a tone that implied he didn’t believe Steve was actually friends — or whatever — with Henderson.

Steve turned around slowly, white knuckling a tape in his right hand by his side. He saw Dustin deflating, before seeing him puff up, getting ready to defend Steve.

“He always does this,” Dustin explained, “acts like he’s not gonna give in when he’s totally going to give in.” Steve watched as Eddie scoffed and rolled his eyes in disbelief, opening his mouth to make some scathing remark. Steve narrowed his eyes, absolutely not.

“Right, because you—”

Steve cut Eddie off, turning around so he wouldn’t have to face Dustin as he finally gave in. “Fine,” he sighed, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling. He heard something fall, but refused to turn to see what it was before he continued. “You can have your Dorks and Demons meeting at my house.” Robin snorted from behind the counter, meeting Steve’s glare with an amused grin.

“Yes! Told you, Eddie! Thank you—” Dustin began, but Steve cut him off.

“You’re cleaning up after, and you’re all gone by 9 P.M.,” Steve said, turning to face Dustin. The freshman grinned at Steve toothily, not fading even as he took in Steve’s stern look.

“Absolutely!” Dustin agreed, bobbing his head in agreement rapidly. He turned to Eddie, who looked surprised. Dustin either didnt see, or didn’t care, as he continued babbling away to Eddie as he dragged him out of the shop as quickly as they came in. Steve felt a knot at the pit of his stomach forming, twisting uncomfortably as he took deep breaths to try and soothe it.

“That was nice,” Robin commented, leaning on the counter with her chin resting on the palm of her hand. Steve schooled his expression to be one of nonchalance before turning to face her.

“Well, someone’s gotta do it. I guess,” he sighed, returning the final movie finally before making his way behind the counter. Once securely next to Robin, he looked at her with wide eyes. “Eddie Munson hates me and this is a terrible idea. Will you be there? Please?” He asked, pouting at his best friend.

“I’m sorry, dingus. Family dinner tonight, otherwise I would,” Robin said, looking apologetically at Steve. While she didn’t want to go, she also knew how bad Steve’s anxiety had gotten over the last few months after Starcourt. Steve groaned, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling.

“It’s fine, I know how your family is,” he sighed heavily, closing his eyes.

“Call if anything happens, though,” Robin said, nudging Steve’s side.

—

Steve knew it was a bad idea when at 3:30pm, Dustin knocked on his door with the rest of Hellfire standing behind him. Still, Steve wanted them to have a good time and made sure he had a variety of drinks and snacks available. He had taken the dining room table and moved it to the living room, so that way they would have more space.

“Hey, Steve!” Dustin greeted, barreling past him. Steve rolled his eyes fondly, a small smile gracing his face as he watched the curly haired boy run past, quickly followed by Lucas and Mike.

“Hey, losers,” Steve greeted the kids, “your favorites are already at the table, help yourself.” He called out to them, before turning to face the older members of Hellfire. They all looked vaguely uncomfortable, if not a little upset to be there. Steve felt his stomach twist again, clearing his throat to dislodge the anxiety a bit.

“Welcome, feel free to help yourselves to the kitchen. Snacks are on the island and drinks are in the fridge. Grab whatever,” he explained, opening the door wide enough to let everyone in. They all looked between each other before walking into the house. Steve let out a weary sigh once he shut the door, making his way after them.

Once everyone had taken their spots around the table, Steve noticed only the kids had the snacks still. He hesitated for a moment before awkwardly making his way to the table of nerds. Immediately, everyone’s eyes were on him, the kids with curious looks and the older boys with suspicion and confusion.

“Uh, there’s Coke, Sprite, Mt. Dew, Dr. Pepper and Strawberry Soda in the kitchen. Anyone want anything?” Steve asked tentatively, glancing at each of the older Hellfire members.

Gareth scoffed, rolling his eyes. “We don’t need your drinks, Harrington.” The name was spoken with vitriol, leaving a sour taste in Steve’s mouth. “Figures you’d try to buy us.” Dustin and Lucas frowned at the words, while the others laughed. Mike stayed silent, looking a bit amused, but still unsure if he should laugh. Steve swallowed thickly, leaving the room.

“Now that he’s gone, we can get started,” Eddie said, clapping his hands together. The kids were easily distracted by the words, their discomfort quickly leaving to be replaced with anticipation over the start of a new campaign.

For the next few hours, Steve stuck to the dining room, listening to the campaign. He had to admit, it sounded pretty interesting. Eddie had called it ‘the Cult of Vecna’, which seemed to get everyone pumped for the rest of the game. He would occasionally try to offer drinks or snacks, only to be rebuked every time. He eventually decided to just silently deliver Dustin, Lucas and Mike’s refills, before leaving quickly again to avoid the scathing remarks from the older members. After the first few times, even Mike had gotten uncomfortable with the remarks. It seemed to drain the kids energy, watching Steve get belittled at every turn.

“We can get our own drinks.”

“No, Harrington. We don’t want your damn snacks.”

The last comment he got before giving up entirely was one that hurt him the most, he thought.

“We’re not going to steal anything, you can stop hovering.”

So he stopped trying, sticking to the kitchen or dining area.

Around six thirty in the evening, Steve made everyone sandwiches. Dustin had told him about Jeff being a vegetarian and made sure there were options for him as well. He hesitated for a moment, staring at the table with apprehension. Unfortunately for him, he hesitated long enough for Dustin to notice him hovering again.

“Steve made sandwiches!” Dustin said excitedly. Lucas and Mike perked right up, turning to face the babysitter. Steve flushed, shrugging helplessly.

“It’s dinner time and I’ve only seen the kids eating, so I made sandwiches,” he said quietly, avoiding the gazes of the older members. He focused on Dustin, who grinned toothily at him, making grabby hands. Steve snorted at it, walking forward and placing the tray of sandwiches on the table, purposely standing between Lucas and Mike to not have to stand near the older members.

“Uh, these ones are vegetarian,” he said, placing the second plate down near Jeff. Jeff looked at him surprised before grabbing one of the sandwiches. Frankie groaned, rolling his eyes at Steve.

“What are we? Twelve? We can take care of ourselves, Harrington.”

Jeff hesitated for a moment, but still grabbed the sandwiches Steve had made specifically for him. Gareth looked vaguely uncomfortable, while Frankie just openly glared at Steve.

“We didn’t ask for these,” Eddie said, tone sharp. “Leave us alone, man. Don’t need to bullshit with us.”

Steve felt his stomach drop and tensed at the words that Eddie spoke, tears immediately filling his eyes. He turned abruptly and walked towards the front door, slamming it behind him as the tears began to fall.

Yeah, Steve knew it was a bad idea to let Dustin convince him to host Hellfire.

The table stared after him in shock, flinching at the door slamming. Dustin turned to face the older members, eyes fiery with rage.

“What the fuck was that?”

———

listen i just wanted to write unresolved angst. not my best work honestly, but i still like it. not beta’d because why would i. i doubt i’ll continue this, because it’s just intended to be Sad.

[plistommy]

Steve wanted to try out dominating Eddie.

He had his hand on the older boy's neck, just squeezing it a little as he praised him for being such a good boy (like Eddie does to him) and how well he was giving Steve his cock that it made Eddie’s eyes roll back into his head.

But… it doesn’t take long when Eddie starts to meet his thrusts that Steve gets too lost into the feeling.

He starts whining and letting out high-pitched cries on top of Eddie, loving how the other’s thick cock rams into him in a way that makes his toes curl.

He doesn’t even realize that he had dropped back into his subspace that had become so familiar to him until he feels himself being placed softly onto the bed.

The praise from Eddie below him must’ve triggered it.

After they had both cleaned up and came down from their highs, Steve slightly pouted because he wanted to do so good as being the dominant one for once, but Eddie just kissed his pout away and held him close.

”You did so well, baby. Don’t worry, we have all the time in the world to try it out again.”

[theemosiders]

Could you perhaps draw Ponyboy biting someone :3

Pretty please :3

GET OFF HIM PONYBOY!!!!!

send me asks / requests / just say what’s up!

[lefthandarm-man]

Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanoff Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

[livwritesstuff]

i hit 100 followers while i was asleep (absolutely bananas imo but i’m so thrilled y’all are enjoying my steddie dads verse bc i’ve literally never had so much fun writing before) so here's a sneak peek of a wip featuring the Harrington fam

Eddie does not understand sports. 

He may be approaching fifty years old and way past his old ways of rejecting every notion that doesn’t perfectly align with his own interests, but even after all these years, the wires in his brain simply cannot wrap themselves around sports no matter how hard he tries.

And he does try because, naturally, he has three daughters, Moe, Robbie, and Hazel, all of whom play sports.

To be clear – his kids can do literally anything they want, bar none.

He’s still in goddamn awe with the whole arrangement that is the life he lives every day – kids and a house and a job he loves and all that with Steve Harrington of all people. There’s no way Eddie would start fucking all that up by projecting his own weird quirks onto his children. He refuses to be the kind of parent that prevents their kids from doing anything just because they don't get it. If the girls want to play sports, they’re gonna play sports. Nothing wrong with that.

Still, sports are one of those things he takes the back seat and lets Steve hold the reins for, especially now that thirteen-year-old Moe is pretty deep into the whole basketball thing. 

Steve understands the politics of the game, both on the court — like knowing which refs are gonna be biased towards which team and noting Moe’s play-time each game — and off. He schmoozes the coach, he’s friends with all the parents, all the things Moe, at thirteen, doesn’t even notice and Eddie, while aware of it, doesn’t understand. He still can barely follow the games themselves (and he goes to as many as he can, though he and Steve are outnumbered by one and with the prospect of the girls carting themselves around still a distant fantasy their schedule is insane so he can’t make them all). He does his best to follow his husband’s lead but Steve doesn’t always react to things the way Eddie thinks he will. He doesn’t bat an eye when a kid gets smacked in the face with a ball, nor at the impossibly loud thud when someone hits the deck (look — he gets the floor is hollow, but it is loud). He’s completely unbothered by the fit Moe throws every game whenever she’s inevitably benched for having an attitude with her opponents or her teammates or the coach or the ref or just about anybody who tries to get in her way.

As is what happened at Moe’s game yesterday.

Eddie hadn’t seen it — well, he’d seen it, but seeing something and understanding what he’s actually looking at are two totally different things. From what he gathers, Moe had missed an easy shot and gotten pissed off in her own little way about it, so she’d launched herself at whoever on the opposing team had gotten their hands on the ball after it ricocheted off the backboard. Unfortunately for Moe, the team they were playing had a reputation for being a little too aggressive for a middle school league, so when she’d hit the ground, she hit it hard. Moe had been pulled off the court by her coach (carded, maybe? Eddie still isn’t sure how that works in basketball) and scowled on the bench for the rest of the game.

Steve had tried to reason with her on the drive home (an interesting choice, in Eddie’s opinion).

“Darling,” he’d said, “I totally understand being upset about missing a layup, but I don’t know how to get it through your head that intentionally fouling someone isn’t the way to go about resolving that emotion. I love you and I support you, but I’m getting tired of watching you play for three minutes and then sit on the bench for the rest of the game.”

“Talk to the coach then,” Moe had grumbled.

“About what?” Steve exclaimed, “Moe — you do it on purpose!”

The conversation had ended not long later because Moe decided to give them both the silent treatment (a clear sign that she knew she was in the wrong even if she didn’t want to admit it) and Eddie thought that was the end of it (for that game, at least). Then, Moe threw them a curveball by spending most of that evening in the bathroom throwing up, at which point she admitted that her head had caught more of that fall during her basketball game than she’d originally let on.

Steve doesn’t mess around with head injuries (for obvious reasons), so the next morning he calls Moe out of school and brings her to their pediatrician to get checked out.

A couple hours after Robbie and Hazel boarded the school bus bound for their elementary school, Steve and Moe return home.

“So what's the verdict?” Ed asks as they enter the kitchen.

“She's concussed,” Steve announces.

“Like father, like daughter.”

“No sports, no bright lights, no reading, no school, no phone,” Steve says pointedly, and Moe only scowls harder. She’d been using the incident as a leveraging tactic in her crusade to get a phone. Not being able to play sports was a no-brainer; they’d all seen that one coming, so even as recently as this morning, she’d been claiming that she’ll “die of boredom without a phone,” while she recovers.

Even as recently as this morning, she’d been largely unsuccessful.

“Thirteen-year-old children do not need phones,” Steve had told her, “If someone wants to talk to you, they can call the house, and if it's urgent enough that it needs to be right now, you can get walkie talkies.”

“No one uses walkie talkies.”

“Your dad and I used walkie talkies all the time.”

“Uh, pretty sure it was just the one time, Steve,” Eddie pointed out.

“Yeah! And it worked out great!”

CONTINUE ON AO3

[morganbritton132]

After David tells him that his ex has arrived for Career Day and it’s not even the Wheeler that he asked for, Steve marches over to Mike like, “What are you doing here?”

Wow, David thinks to himself. He’s been told that Steve has some problems with his memory - apparently he compensated for it with a truly insane online calendar - but he didn’t expect him to forget about a whole human being. Just, wow.

Steve loudly tells Mike that he’s never had a real job and Mike scoffs at him and tells him that he wrote for a comic book website for three years. Journalism is just writing with a fancy degree. Will and Mike created a comic book together so, “I’m published.”

“Robin is published,” Steve stresses (Steve’s best friend, David knows that one). “If that was the only qualification I wanted than I would’ve asked Robin to come.”

They start squabbling again in whispered voices so David turns to Dustin and tries to alleviate some of the awkwardness with, “Steve, uh, really has a type, huh?”

Dustin squints at him, “Did you just meet him? Today?”

[houseofthetides]

EVE BEST & STEVE TOUSSAINT + 💕social media angels (angles) 💕

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Part 1 | . . . | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12

Just then Eddie walks in, raising his brows at the veritable mountain of food Steve and Eleven are putting together. “What’s all this?”

Steve smiles warmly at him. “Hey, Eds,” he says, which is certainly an experience. He’s spoken roughly twice with the guy—in his memory—but Steve’s three chapters—nay, three books ahead. Eddie is Frodo, about to embark on his first journey, and Steve is Bilbo, or even Gandalf: someone who’s done this all before, whose eyes carry the weight of worlds.

Speaking of, Steve’s eyes dim slightly the longer Eddie takes to answer, so he waves his fingers at Steve, trying to ignore the swoop in his stomach when Steve’s smile brightens again. “So… what’s this?”

“Dinner,” Eleven answers. “We are making sandwiches.”

Eddie nods, because sure. Why not. “Okay.”

“How’s the song coming?” Steve asks, and the swoop returns, because not only is Steve asking, but he’s asking about Metallica, and Eddie’s gay, metal little heart can’t take it.

“Holy shit,” he breathes out, grinning. “It’s so good, oh my god. I mean, it’s gonna take a bit to learn, but it’s gonna be the most metal solo I’ve ever done.”

Steve’s smile dims again. Probably because he’s remembering what happened last time, i.e., Eddie’s death. Eddie pushes down the queasy feeling.

“Eddie,” Eleven says.

“Yeah?”

She turns to face him. Her eyes are more serious than any twelve-year-old’s eyes have any right to be. “You will be okay,” she says. Then, apropos of nothing, “And I can move things with my mind.”

Eddie blinks at that. Apparently his face is doing something, because Steve chimes in. “She can.”

“I can show you,” she volunteers.

“Anything but the utensils,” Steve says in a distracted voice, like this isn’t the first time he’s had this conversation. Eddie wants to laugh hysterically, or maybe cry. Smoking a joint seems like the best third option, except all his stuff is at home. Fuck.

Then she does, lifts a whole cutting board—complete with tomatoes— and moves it over to him. He resists the impulse to snatch a piece and eat it. He doesn’t even like tomatoes, what the fuck, brain.

Steve’s watching with an amused little smile, like he can somehow read Eddie’s mind. That legitimately wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to happen today, so Eddie does his best to stop thinking about it, because he doesn’t think he can deal with more than one real-life superpower right now.

“I need that back, El,” Steve murmurs, and she grins at him before zipping it back over, stopping it just before it hits his face. He nods, brows raised, impressed. “Nice control. Put it down and go wipe your nose, please.”

She does, Steve watching her as she goes, fond little grin on his face. “She’s a good kid.”

“She can move things with her mind.”

“Yeah. Honestly, that’s one of the easier things to get used to. Y’know one of the craziest things, to me?”

“Do I want to know?” Eddie asks hesitantly.

Steve just grins at him. “Jonathan Byers has this baseball bat that he sticks a bunch of nails in.”

Eddie blinks at him. “What the actual fuck.”

Steve nods. “I took it, sometime back during the first year. Actually,” he thinks about it, “what month are we in?”

“Um. October.”

Steve winces. “Great. October…”

“Um. Twenty-fourth.”

Steve hums and thinks. “In about… less than a week, actually, I think—I don’t really know, the concussion messed up my days—oh, hey!” He suddenly says excitedly, then raises his voice. “Rob!”

Robin pops her head in a moment later. “What’s up?”

He grins at her. “No concussions!”

She stares. Slowly, a grin spreads across her face. “Holy shit!” She says. “No concussions!”

“No memory loss!”

“No hearing loss!”

“No eyesight problems!”

She freezes. “Steve. You were having vision issues?”

“Um. Not anymore?”

She groans. “Since when?”

“Um…” he thinks, tilting his head toward the ceiling. “Billy, I think. At least that’s the first time I really noticed it.”

She sighs. “I’m going to murder you.”

“Are not.”

“In cold blood.”

“Are not.”

“Nancy’ll help.”

Steve considers this. “She might. She’d be good at it.”

They both pause for a moment, then Robin turns to leave. “I’m gonna go make sure Jon doesn’t give you a concussion this time.”

“Have him make the nail bat, too!” Steve calls as she leaves.

“What,” Eddie says desperately, “the fuck.”

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[blaqcats-fics]

(He’s) Just a Phase — Part 1

MASTERLIST

Word Count: 3.1K

November 1993.

Steve cursed lowly as he tried to light his cigarette. The wind was not on his side today, and he was growing increasingly annoyed with every passing moment.

The day had begun with a literal pile of dog shit. He had woken up, sleeping past his alarm, and his service dog, Bowie, had left him a present. Steve stepped into it and thus set the mood for the rest of the day. From then on, Steve missed the bus, causing having to walk to the music store where he worked out with his guitar case heavy on his back and Bowie at his side. It also didn't help that it had rained the night before and a car passed by without slowing down and drenched him in cold water.

Thankfully he had arrived at work in one piece. He was in break now, letting Bowie take a moment to eat some food and to allow himself a smoke, even though that was becoming a failure itself.

‘Fuck it,’ Steve grunted, running his hand through his hair, grimacing as his hand tangled in his hair. It had grown out far longer than he was used to. It looked like his mother’s hair — long, unruly, and stuck between the questionable state of wavy and curly. He was sure that it rivaled Eddie’s almost, except he didn't have poorly chopped bangs.

He glanced down at Bowie, watching as he finished eating his kibble, before looking up at Steve with big brown eyes. Steve smiled, leaning down, gently petting him as he picked the bowl up. ‘Was it good, boy?’ he asked, chuckling as Bowie’s tail thumped against the ground. ‘Guess so. C’mon, back to work, bubby.’

Steve opened the door to the store, watching as Bowie trotted back inside. Steve followed in after Bowie, going behind the counter. ‘Back from break!’ he called out.

‘Gotcha!’ Sam called back.

Samuel ‘Sam’ Carter was a fifty-year-old retired drummer, and Steve’s boss. He was intimidating to look at, covered in tattoos from head to toe, and fitted into a biker-gang aesthetic, but despite the intimidating exterior, Sam was a sweetheart. He was also one of the few people Steve met in the past month that was helping him understand the current queer culture.

Sam, surprisingly, was an active member of the drag community in Seattle and was more than happy to take Steve under his wing, saying that Steve looked like a lost puppy begging for shelter.

Steve was a lost puppy looking for shelter when he came to Seattle. He had left Indianapolis on a whimand didn't stop to think of the consequences. Luckily, Sam was able to situate Steve with a job and a place to stay.

‘Oh, yeah, kid!’ Sam called, walking out from the back of the store, clipboard in hand from doing inventory. ‘Gale called and said she found something that you might be interested in.’

Steve glanced at him as he opened the cash register to count the cash for the third time. ‘What’d she say?’

‘Anthem, the bar down where Gale works, is having an open mic night. Gale says there may be a producer there, but she can't promise anything,’ Sam said, walking to the counter. He paused and made a scrunched face at Bowie, speaking in a baby voice at him.

Steve rolled his eyes at Sam’s actions, but was otherwise interested. This was an opportunity, even if it could be a failure. ‘She say what time it was?’

‘Around 9 tonight.’

‘Tonight?’ Steve exclaimed. ‘I don't gave anything to play! Fuck!’

Sam scoffed, ‘I’ve seen you scribble in that notebook of yours; you have something.’

Steve chewed on his lip anxiously, glancing down as Bowie nudged his leg. He took a shaky breath, fixing his glasses on his face that had gradually fallen down his face. ‘Those aren't lyrics. They, uh, I don't know, it's just venting.’

‘Sounds close enough to music for me,’ Sam said. ‘How about this, I’ll call Rachael to cover your shift, and you go figure your shit out for tonight. You ain't going to get anywhere without nipping opportunities by the ass. You aren't going to get your man back without working for it.’

Steve hummed, nodding. He didn't bother correcting Sam. This wasn't about getting Eddie back. He was sure Eddie was happier off without him lingering in his shadow. Life had just started to work out in Eddie’s favor. All Steve wanted to do was apologize and make up for hurting Eddie, even if hurting him had never been his intention.

‘Oh, before you head out, Paul can't do their routine Saturday night, do you want to fill in their spot?’ Sam asked. ‘I know you aren't familiar with the scene, but stepping out if your comfort zone can be fun sometimes.’

Paul (Monique on Saturdays and Mondays) was one of Sam’s liners at the club he owned. They were one of the more popular drag queens that worked there. Steve enjoyed their shows, finding them loud and exciting. However, Steve never found himself wondering what it was like to be a queen.

Steve shook his head, ‘If it was Minnie, maybe. Paul is too much of a star to fill in for.’

Sam snorted, ‘Ain’t that the damn truth. You’d make a pretty girl, Stevie.’ He sent Steve a wink.

‘I think I need to finish sorting out my internalized homophobia before I start examining gender and how I want to be perceived. I don't need to give myself a stroke,’ Steve grinned. He picked up his case, adjusting it comfortably on his back. ‘Plus, if I had a pair of tits, I don't think this world would survive.’

‘Christ, kid,’ Sam laughed. ‘Get out of here.’

Steve rolled his eyes, a fond smile on his face. He called Bowie and left for home. He knew that if Eddie was still with him, he'd love to meet Sam.

That night, despite practicing for hours, Steve could feel his skin crawling. He was a bundle of nerves and he left as if someone had jump-started his heart with a faulty engine. For a brief moment, Steve wondered if Eddie always felt this way before going on to play a show. Maybe, but Eddie was always a bundle of nerves.

‘You good, ‘Evie?’ Gale asked, handing him a shot. ‘Look like you could use some liquid courage.’

Steve glanced down at the shot and hesitated. He started at it for a moment before shaking his head. ‘Best not. My nerves already make me sick to my stomach,’ he said.

Gale shrugged, taking the shot and downing it herself. ‘More for me,’ she winked. ‘You ready to play your little heart out?’

‘No,’ Steve said, raw honesty in his voice. ‘Performing was never my thing. I don't think it even is my thing. I was good at sports in high school like I was a full-on jock, but this? I wouldn't gave touched this with a twenty-foot pole.’

Gale hummed, her eyes fleeting over him, taking in his appearance. ‘Sure don't look like a jock now with that hair of yours, and that outfit. It screams homeless instead of jock,’ she joked.

‘I got it from Walmart,’ Steve frowned. ‘It was comfy and cheap.’

The woman sighed, ‘Baby, you look like the bastard child of Kurt Cobain, but with Tommy Lee’s stupidly sexy hair.’

Steve stared at her. ‘I know Cobain is from Nirvana, but who the hell is Tommy Lee?’

‘Some pretty boy from Mötley Crüe,’ she explained. ‘They’re either a metal or rock band. Who knows the damn difference?’

Eddie does, Steve’s mind supplied.

He pulled his gaze away from Gale, looking at the stage, listening to, well, something. ‘Is that poetry?’

‘Kind of,’ she said with an uninterested shrug. ‘Spoken word, I think. You like it?’

Steve scrunched his nose, ‘Not my cup of tea.’

‘It’s powerful,’ Gale said. ‘It were louder, maybe I would like it, but eh.’

‘Eh,’ Steve agreed. He glanced around the bar before settling his gaze back on Gale. ‘Sam said something about a producer?’

Gale rose her brows, ‘Is that why're so worked up?’

Steve felt his cheek warm. ‘Possibly.’

‘I don't know kid. Boss told me that there could be one, but didn't give me a name or a face.’

‘Shit,’ Steve grunted. That made his anxiety even worse. Actually, Steve wasn't sure if it did make it worse. The dread had already been lingering, but now it felt more real.

‘You’ll be fine. I'd be more worried if you didn't know how to song,’ Gale joked. She glanced down towards the end of the bar where an older man was flagging her. ‘You’re on next, ‘Evie. Take a breath and focus on the reason you're even out here.’

Steve didn't say anything as she walked away. He glanced back at the stage, swallowing the lump in his throat. He pushed himself off of the stool, moving through the small crowd of people and he suddenly felt as if he was back in Indianapolis, pushing through the crowd, looking for Eddie. It was a familiar, but ghostly feeling that made the hairs on the back of his hair raise.

That had been the year's ago, and Eddie was far from his reach.

‘A round of applause for Kaitlynn and James for their wonderful performance!’ the announcer spoke loudly into the mic. Steve couldn't remember his name. It was Dave, Derek, or something. He knew it started with a D. ‘Next up in tonight’s roster is the mysterious ‘Evie!’

Steve licked at his front teeth, sucking in a breath. He went to the stage, passing by Kaitlynn and James. He took a moment to pull his guitar from his case, checking the tuning before sitting down on a bench in front if the microphone. He coughed slightly, the sound feeling the room. ‘A big thank you for anyone who came out here tonight. My name is ‘Evie and this is my song, uh, enjoy?’

‘Evie was a stage name. Gale and Sam suggested he used one, even if it wasn't far off from his actual name. It helped hide him for now, at least until photographs were involved, and Steve did whatever he could do to avoid his face being anywhere.

There was a small applause of encouragement and a loud whistle that most likely came from Gale. His lip switched and he adjusted the weight of his guitar in his hands.

‘I’m starting at the glass in front of me,’ he sang, voice loud in the room, the microphone and speakers filling the room with his voice. ‘Is it half empty? Have I ruined all you’ve given me?’

He strummed the guitar, his stomach twisting in knots as he sang. He didn't know if it came from the anxiety of performing or from how a giant lump of panic started to form in the back of his throat.

He took a deep breath, pushing the lump away, his eyes stinging. ‘Don’t tell me I will make it on my own. Don't leave me tonight. This heart of stone will sink ‘til it does if you leave me alone,’ he sang, his voice cracking.

Steve remembered the long nights when sleep never plagued him. He remembered sitting up in bed, giving his attention to an unaware and sleeping Eddie. He used to watch him sleep and watched as all the stress lines were even out on his face, making him look younger. Eddie had looked so peaceful, and sometimes Steve would stare and count the light freckles that kissed his face. It was his form of counting sheep.

‘Don’t tell me I will make it on my own. Don't leave me tonight. This heart of stone will sink ‘til it does if you leave me tonight. Don't leave me tonight,’ Steve sang, tears glued to his lashes as he played the last few notes.

He blinked away the tears, moving his eyes to rub them away. He could barely hear the applause over the loudness of his thoughts. He sent the crowd a weak smile before moving and heading off stage, not bothering to stop and put his guitar away. He merely grabbed the case and walked back to Gale.

‘Give me a Long Island,’ he mumbled, taking a moment to put the guitar up and leaning it against the bar.

Gale reached out and touched his shoulder. ‘Baby, you sure you don't want something lighter? We both know you're a lightweight.’

‘That’s the point,’ Steve mumbled. He knew better than to develop a co-dependency on alcohol. That was how you get addicted to it, but addiction runs in his veins and for once, Steve wanted to bury the voices.

The woman sighed, ‘I’ll get you a drink, but it's not going to be a Long Island. Go sit in one of the private rooms, I’ll get Frankie to bring you the drink.’

Steve nodded, getting off the bar and moving through the crowd again, heading towards the back.

‘Hey! Excuse me!’ someone called out. Steve ignored them, figuring that they were just trying to get through the crowd of people like he was. ‘Wait a second! ‘Evie!’

Steve paused, turning around, frowning as a smaller woman made her way to him. She couldn't be much older than he was, but she looked far more foot together then he did. ‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘What’d you need?’

‘Mind if I join you? I saw you were heading to the private rooms,’ she said.

Steve frowned, ‘Uh, if you're trying to like, um, you know...’

She must have caught on to what he was saying and flushed red. She waved her hands frantically. ‘No! No! Not at all. Happily married with two demons to prove,’ she said, wiggling her hand, showing off the simple silver band.

‘Oh, shit, sorry,’ Steve said, flushing in embarrassment. ‘You call your kids demons?’

The woman merely shrugged, ‘They sure the hell aren't angels. Either way, mind if I join you? Rather not have a conversation in the midst of chaos, ya’ know?’

Steve nodded. ‘Yeah, of course. What’s your name?’ he asked, leading her to the back.

‘Kacey Williams,’ she introduced. ‘I’m a talent agent from Los Angeles.’

Steve stumbled over his feet a bit. His hand froze above the doorknob, turning to look at her with a deer-caught-in-headlights look. ‘You’re a talent agent?’ his voice cracked.

‘Yes, sir,’ she beamed. ‘I’m technically on vacation, but talent waits for no one! Even if you were a bit nervous.’

‘Was it really that noticeable?’ he sighed. ‘I told Gale, the bartender, that I’m new on the scene, or whatever it’s called. Music wasn’t an interest until recently.’

Kacey hummed. ‘First time preforming then?’

Steve shrugged, opening the door and letting her go in first. He closed the door behind him, moving to set his case on one of the sofas. ‘In front of a lot of people, yeah.’

‘Well, it could have gone worse. Like you could have froze up or throw up on the front row,’ she said, sitting in a chair.

‘I doubt I would even have stage fright. I'm used to being looked at all the time. I justed to be on the swim team, and I played basketball for a while.’

‘Reformed jock. Who would have guessed?’ Kacey grinned. ‘Well, there's a bit to work on, but would you be interested in giving stardom a chance? You have something that I think a lot of people need to hear.’

Steve sighed, sitting next to the guitar case. He brushed his hair from his face. ‘I’m going to be honest with you,’ he said. ‘I only came tonight in hopes to meet an agent, and here you are, but what I’m doing with my music — it’s not what you probably want to deal with.’

Kacey hummed, ‘I think I'll decide that for myself. Tell me what I could be working with.’

Steve chewed on the inside of his mouth and picked at the hole in his jeans anxiously. ‘Back in ‘89, my ex and I broke up. Uh, I fucked ruined our relationship. I made a lot of mistakes. They were tired of being second to everything, and they wanted more. So, yeah.’

‘That doesn't tell me why your here, attached to your shitty guitar, looking for an agent.’

Steve snorted. ‘I couldn't get my head out of my ass for a while. At least not until recently. I want to apologize for the damage I did — the relationship I ruined with my unfair opinions. I just can't reach them right now, they're too far out of my reach. If I get my voice out there, then maybe they could hear me.’

‘So you want to get your ex back?’

‘No,’ he shook his head. ‘That’s too selfish and way to much to ask. They have a steady life. They seem happy. I'm not going to fuck it up by trying to win them back. I just want them to know that I'm sorry. Maybe its closure for myself.’

Kacey hummed, ‘And what's going to happen if you go big, get your voice out there? What are you going to do afterwards?’

‘Finish my contract up. Go home and go back to working the same nine-to-five job,’ he said.

‘That’s depressing, ‘Evie,’ she said.

‘It’s life,’ he said back. ‘There’s something else I want to do, if I were to get into the scene. It's my plan that you might not like.’

Kacey leaned back, pausing when Frankie walked in, handing Steve his drink. She spoke up after Frankie left. ‘What’s your plan?’

‘I want to be open about my sexuality,’ Steve said. He swallowed thickly. ‘I don't want to hide the fact that I’m bisexual, and I don't want to hide the fact that every song I have ever written is about a man that I would kill for.’

Kacey stared at him, eyes wide. ‘That’s asking for death threats.’

‘Bowie is out. Elton John is out. Freddie Mercury was out. It may not be accepted still, but why do I have to hide when they didn't?’

‘It’s more complicated than that, I think,’ Kacey breathed. ‘But you doing this, it might ruin your reputation and the offers you receive. It’ll be hard.’

‘I’m prepared to do whatever it takes,’ Steve said seriously.

Kacey nodded. She opened her purse, pulled out a card, handing it to him. ‘This is my business card. I don't give these to many people, so don't go sharing it around. Think about what you want to do, then give me a call Monday morning. If you still want this Monday, with the risk, then I’ll work on getting you a plane out to LA,’ she said.

Steve looked at the car, nodding. He already had his answer. Monday he would call her. That was his only option — risks included.

NOTE: thank you guys for reading and the reblogs! if you want to be on the tag list, just comment that you want to be! i’m not sure how frequent these updates are, but my mind is brewing a lot of ideas. at the top, there's a link to the series masterlist which also has a master list to my other works (which are on ao3)! the song attached is the one Steve sang for open mic :)

TAGLIST: @swimmingbirdrunningrock x @cinnamon-mushroomabomination x

[collectivecloseness]

(Nsfw) ok but do u have a hc at all on who’s better at going down on a lady, Steve Harrington or Eddie Munson?

Okay but I absolutely do for sure and I have thought this for the longest time.

(Cw: 18+)

Steve I think didn’t even know that was a thing at first, back in his king Steve days. He was all about missionary, or blowjobs, or other more common stuff he’d hear about, not that he was a selfish lover or anything. Sure he’d touch girls down there, of course he would, but the clit? Who knows where that is, he’d trust they’ll say/moan something if he finds it. Not to say he doesn’t learn though.

Absolutely not. As Steve becomes a better person, but also gains more experience, he hears about this for the first time and he wants the girls he’s with to feel happy and enjoy it and make sure they cum as well (not faking it which he’s trying to distinguish for sure now) but at least feeling safe and enjoying it. It is important to him that his partners are enjoying everything just as much as he is, even very early on before he’d learned more. As long as they’re happy, satisfied, and safe, Steve can end it happy as well.

But Steve’s knowledge comes in at a pretty normal time for a guy in Hawkins in the 80’s, and he’s definitely a lot a lot more willing to try it. Firstly asking a girl he trusts how to do it, then he found a book he could get without anyone recognising him, to read and keep hidden deep under his bed. As well as as time goes on, checking out some more tapes from the back adults only section of Family Video, so he can check what it’s ‘supposed’ to be like from other angles, not just when he’s looking up buried between thighs.

So at first, probably until he gets a long term partner who will work him though it, rather than a quick hookup, which they at least leave highly satisfied from and will tell other girls considering a date with the previous king of Hawkins High that it’s definitely worth a shot, at first Steve’s techniques are more just that; techniques. Things he’s read about and heard, like tongue here there diagonal short then fast, or the alphabet method, or following step by step something from his book that could be misconstrued as a ddr pattern or something.

Mostly Steve’s very focused on doing it right, and that is for the pleasure of his partners. But he does have to be taught by a girl he trusts where the clit exactly is at first, or more so, how to know if he’s touching it correctly. Shocked that it ranges from about 60-80% of sex without using the clitoris doesn’t end in orgasm for girls (although in Steve’s defence, that stat is much much lower with him, again, an unselfish lover even in the beginning, and also, he’s still Steve Harrington). He’s still a bit flustered trying to figure things out without being gentlemanly vague, but Steve really does care about your experience a lot.

And if you’re his partner, damn. Steve becomes such a good boy trying to ask you every single time he’s down there if what he’s doing is right, if you’re still okay, if he should change up, if he’s hurting you, if you finished, if you can handle round four - because holy shit girls can handle a lot more than even big boy Steve Harrington thought. He’s genuinely very considerate and sweet, caring a lot about your experience, and he will shut up and just get on with it and try and listen to your body, because he doesn’t want to stop if you’re feeling good; you go through some ideas with him, like thigh tapping signals.

But Steve will totter to you and ask you with his hand out if you two can go practice again, pretty please?

Steve may not have been the best student in high school, but he definitely wants to do some research in this field, and he is more than happy to perform some experiments. It’s called growing <3. He won’t ask you too much, and he won’t bother you with it, but he will come ask you in very sweet ways, like laying his head on your lap, or getting on his knees, or sucking into your neck just the same way he does your cunt. Or if you two are beginning to have sex, he’ll ask if you’d like him to do that first. And then he might want to do it afterwards as well. Especially if you would like to go for another round (Steve is not a one and done guy). Again, he’s learning all about the female body and experience so much :)

Steve is also... big. So it definitely does help, if he’s getting on his knees or tummy before you two make love <3. Although to be honest, not that you need it much anyway considering Steve gets you wet so easily. You remember Steve playing with your hair and whispering sweet nothings to you, before making out for a while, when you two decided to go to the bedroom. And when Steve undressed you, like a gentleman, and went to add more foreplay, and saw how soaked you were, he actually fucking laughed, like an adorable loving dork, and said out loud “Wow.” To be honest, it only helped you want him more.

Then again Steve eating you out after he’s cum in you slightly works against his breeding kink, although it’s not too much of an issue because Steve still throughly enjoys it. He also likes being able to be a little messy and dirty and free with you, and he also likes cleaning you up and helping you out once again, it works in so many ways to be honest. Not to mention the obvious, Steve likes going down on you, he wants to do it again, and also doing so after you two had made love was kinda hot. One time he had tears in his sweet brown eyes while licking out his cum, which took a minute to get to because Steve had fucked it deep in you, but when you promised he could fill you up again after he finished cleaning you up here, because he’d been so lovely today, you swear you saw his heart burst, just from the sparkles in his caramel eyes.

You’re definitely expanding Steve to lots of new intimate and interesting things to do with sex. Not that he was boring beforehand, but he didn’t want to risk going with something he wasn’t sure if he wasn’t good at, and he didn’t really get into another relationship until you, or really trust the other enough to be vulnerable and think within himself about his own explorations. He didn’t really think or get to physically explore about himself too much until you really. And you definitely helped him feel more open to do some introspection on himself, even at some surface level stuff to do with vulnerabilities and sex/love making things.

Steve does however figure this out very early days, probably with Nancy because he did love her, but it’s not something he really let himself indulge in or mind wonder about, until you. And that’s the fact he loves sucking on some boobies <3. Actually makes him feel incredibly calm and happy and like he can just shut down from being big protector Harrington, and just be Stevie in love and being taken care of, by taking care of.

Absolutely loves just settling his head down and softly holding you and mouthing around your boobs with the comfort of knowing that’s all he’s got to do right now, and it’s making you happy too. So to realise he can suck on something else of yours? That tastes of you even more, and makes you extremely happy too? Steve can bob those lovely cheeks around three different things and not accidentally overstimulate you, and really let his mind soften into loving and affectionate time with you, his love <333

Steve is a good guy and he is learning a lot. Happily doing so, he wants to be a good enough person for you, but also, hell yeah Steve Harrington is loving this too! Why don’t all guys like eating out their girlfriends?

Eddie is bouncing off all four walls if he doesn’t eat pussy soon.

Actually one of the first things he wants to do sexually. Yeah the first time he has sex he’s trying not to cream his pants but he’s also so desperate to please. But also to taste... to experience all that loveliness. The first time he does it it’s not only to please, but to try and prove he’s good, he likes them, to try and make himself good enough so they don’t leave, but he very quickly realises they all will. Well until you that is. Although Eddie Munson does go through a little bit of a slutty era before that - I mean, he was doomed by having that slutty, slutty waist.

After the first girl or two it’s mostly about pleasing his lovely lady acquaintances. But also a little bit of pride knowing their jock boy toys will never be as good as him, and those girls will know it, and never be able to feel the same with them after. He hopes it frees his good old friends, get them some real partners. And yeah, to give them one hell of a lifetime ride.

The all encompassing warmth and smell and taste and sounds and feel of you is something Eddie craves constantly. It’s like his safe place. That and it really helps with his oral fixation. And the man is obsessed. He will not be leaving you for hours. He’s biting all up your arm, big chomps over and over, beforehand, licking at you randomly, pretending he’s so sweet to kiss your cheek but actually poking it with the tip of his tongue. These aren’t even always precursors to Eddie’s meal of the day, he is just like that.

He wants to bury himself there and breathe you only. Why should Eddie care about o2 or whatever that bitches name is, they didn’t help him pass chemistry. The only chemistry Eddie cares about is between you and him... You push his face away in retaliation at that awful flirting. But Eddie is pouncing right back, laugh roaring, and biting down over your pelvis, which gets you to push him away again, this time with a laughing shriek. He’s just eager, he won’t bite where it hurts, but like, if you’re gonna be running your hands through his hair as you’re calling his name, he’s going to surprise lick your fingers occasionally. Or bite. Maybe suck on something a little. Your thighs and boobs are constantly getting apology smooches for Eddie being very bad and biting down on them.

He wants to live smothered in your love for him, the physical show all around him that you love him right now and are not leaving and he’s making you feel good in this moment, but also it’s you, encompassing him. Everything about you is safety and security and love for him. It’s another reason Eddie will absolutely bury his face in your boobies too </3

And when you finally let him indulge his oral fixation down there, three hours later - with breaks and water and checking in on you in between - his arms are wrapped around your thighs and he’s scooching forwards as you pull your legs, and therefore him, up the bed, with the biggest and ‘wettest’ pout on his face, begging you he just needs to be in there for a little more time. Please say you can go another round? He’s desperate. He’ll do anything baby, he just wants to worship you some more.

Eddie sometimes headbutts face first into your boobs and swears he will starve without tasting your pretty pussy. You’re more worried he’s going to fucking drown.

Eddie will happily get smothered to death though if it means drinking everything up. One of the only times you saw Eddie frown in bed (or anywhere you two were fucking) was when you were sitting on his face, and kept pulling back because you were worried you would hurt him. Eddie was stubbornly telling you that he could take it, you were fine, and you were wrong; and you swear he was going to use your body as an unwilling weapon to kill himself, because he was pulling you back down on his face so determinedly, you weren’t sure you could move from his grip pulling you down if you even wanted - you definitely did not want. Not when it was Eddie fucking Munson whose face you were riding.

Another excellent point in his favour, Eddie is wild. Very passionate. Extremely intuitive and very well versed/knowledgable. So he’s a god at eating out.

Changes up nearly every single time because he knows how to go with the flow and read you so well. It’s not just experience or anything Eddie is very well tuned to what you like and don’t, and he can pick up on you easily. Eating out just comes so so naturally to him it’s insane. And the fact he just goes ballistic down on you, absolutely feral for you, makes things even more sensational. He’ll eat you out in every which way possible. Staring up at you with those big fucking dark brown eyes. Those pretty thick lips glistening and swollen.

And when looking into his deep doe eyes is what makes you finally cum over his tongue, Eddie is chuckling breathily in that sweet voice into your cunt, and you’re cumming harder. The noises he makes too, little hums he doesn’t even know he’s sounding, he’s just enjoying himself that much, the sloppy eager sounds as he laps and sucks and kisses and eats at you, and then the fucking moans and swears and whines and groans and whimpers, and all the sweet suave words he tells you each time. When they’re sounded while his mouth is around you, the vibrations make you go crazy, something Eddie absolutely knows.

One time he winked to you after his laugh into your crotch made your eyes roll into your skull, and when he sweetly batted his eyelashes into your sensitive nipped thighs, just to make you feel even more, he really got his hair knotted into, and tugged further into your ‘embrace’.

Eddie will use any part of his face, ride his nose, or he’ll nuzzle it, tickling your thighs or belly with his eyelashes, scraping his teeth down them, using his lips to kiss and suck and mouth and vibrate on you, not to mention whatever ungodly power was given to Eddie’s tongue. Holy fuck Eddie’s tongue must have been blessed or something. His whole face is rubbing against you, he’s utilising it all, and Eddie wants his face covered in your cum, to the point it’s streaming down his neck and dripping onto his chest tattoo <3

And he’ll leave sessions having not had you take care of him once, all he wanted to do was go down on you. Get that taste, and make you feel so good. It makes him feel good too, even if not in that way, it just really does. Sometimes eating you out for a while is really all Eddie wants. Either for as long as he can get, or even a quick session before one of you has to go. He once joked that even with his life, it was the only addiction he has. Although you swear you watch him go through withdrawal. You’d say kinda regularly actually, but you two are going at it enough it doesn’t get to be too much of a problem <3.

It surprised you a little when you first dated him, that sometimes Eddie would ask you if you two could do that, and then that’s all that’d happen, unless you initiated further. When Eddie said that that shouldn’t be surprising, goddamn he did make you fall for him even more. You tell him he has a blessed tongue in many ways, although Eddie is very aware of that.

Sometimes sure he’ll rub one or multiple out under you, or buck against his mattress as he does so. One time even using your leg, because you were stood at the bathroom sink and he just had to have a taste of you before he could sleep. Trust me, eating you out is well more than enough to get Eddie Munson off. Sometimes all Eddie is focused on is pussy and he’s absolutely enjoying himself extremely, being touched himself or not. After all, he is getting to do one of his favourite all time things with you.

[harringroveera]

Billy: Holy fuck, this looks amazing. It’s beautiful! How can I ever repay you for fixing our wedding, Curly?

Dustin: Get pregnant

Billy: What?

Dustin: Use your body to give the world more Steve!

Steve: Trust me I’m trying

[youleavethetardisbrakeson]

Steve said that he was surprised by the revelation of the Hull boys in the season 2 scripts, that he's never had an in-depth discussion with Ryan Condal about it (although he has with the directors and Eve), and that he's still having a hard time reconciling Corlys loving Rhaenys and doing THAT to her 💀

We know that Eve and Steve went to Ryan and Miguel to ask about their relationship; HOW DOES THAT NOT COME UP?! HOW DO YOU NOT THINK TO WARN THEM OF THE GIANT ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM THAT IS THEIR MARRIAGE?!

Like, maybe Steve didn't take the time to ask Ryan specifically, but how is that not horribly irresponsible of Ryan as a showrunner?! At the very least, it's a given that these actors are going to have interviews and be asked about it constantly (it's a VERY popular show!) How do you not take like 15min to inform them of a general idea of what's going on with their characters, especially when it's this big of a revelation???

[gloomysoup]

new a/b/o steddie brainworms

omega!steve/alpha!eddie

so steve and eddie were never "officially" together. they were sort of dating for a while, both scared of a real commitment. things unfold, eddie gets a record deal, he leaves town to pursue music. he's doing great for himself, but he loses contact w most people in hawkins, aside from wayne (and like mike or dustin maybe idk). steve finds out he's pregnant but doesn't tell anyone for a while. only robin knows. he never plans on telling eddie.

wayne hears ab it and confronts steve, asking if it's eddie's. it is. wayne tries to convince steve to tell eddie the truth, but steve won't. he doesn't want eddie to feel obligated to come back. he doesn't want to ruin eddie's career when it's just starting to get him somewhere. he doesn't want to be a burden. wayne, while not happy ab the decision, respects it. he doesn't tell eddie either, but he also knows that steve is on his own. he starts doing what he can to help. it's his grandchild after all. so he's there for whatever steve needs. he sends him a portion of his paychecks every time he gets paid to help w hospital bills and anything steve needs for the baby. after they're born, wayne tries to be as involved as he can. he offers to babysit when steve needs to work, he still gives steve money, etc. eddie still doesn't know.

im thinking a few years down the line, eddie finally comes back to hawkins. he's just there to visit wayne. it's a surprise; no one knows he's coming. now how exactly he finds out ab this child is not yet determined.

on one hand, i think it would be interesting if he happens to find the money wayne always sets aside for steve and asks ab it. wayne would probably lie, even tho it kills him to do it. he wants eddie to know the truth, but he also knows he can't betray steve's trust like that. he understands why steve chose not to tell eddie, even if he isn't happy ab it. i imagine however events unfold, wayne would try to keep steve's secret as long as he can while simultaneously trying to convince steve to tell eddie anyway.

everything works out in the end. eddie and steve work things out once he gets over the fact that everyone lied to him, that steve hid his child from him for years. they live as one big happy family and eddie still has his career. he tours and writes songs ab his family and sings his child lullabies at night. steve essentially becomes a househusband, tho he probably has a part-time job like coaching basketball or something idk. he and their child often join eddie & the band on tour probably and all the corroded coffin guys love the child very much (truthfully, they probably also knew well before eddie of the kid's existence but again steve did NOT want eddie to know)

that's all. idk if this will ever become anything but the idea was there and i wanted to share