#sth: dark crisis

[synthshade]

I've been going through my WIPs and seeing what I need to finish, and after restarting and sketching this one for a while, I decided to experiment with the sketch and figure out what this might look like when I get to the rendering stage. I also figured out I don't know how to render fur, so I'm gonna have to find a guide before then.

So I'm posting yet another WIP, but with that being said, I do plan to finish and make more art.

I've been struggling with this design for a while, more specifically the face, but I might have finally found that really fine line between everything it has to be.

It has to look like Movie!Sonic, even if Sonic is around 15 in this story and has a slightly matured face. It also has to closely resemble the original Werehog design, since it's intended to be an adaptation of it. Most of all, it has to be capable of being both adorable and terrifying, and maybe a little ugly.

[an-abandoned-sad-weirdo]

IS THAT A NEW CHAPTER I SEE ON THE HORIZON???

And don't think it's a chapter I've sent before, it's brand new, but it's the 9th because I fused some of the previous chapters.

ENJOY!

[ingapotejtoo]

👀👀👀

Tell all about au's

i will say i am a simple man - i see a series happening and i go [smacks the top of said modpack like the hood of a car] you can fit so much aus so if there's sth going on i go okie ur my au now smile :) (i also share a lot of the aus with my bestie bcus hello we bounce off each other with ideas like cats that are getting the good good treats. kiss into the sky ily if you're reading this)

prime example: sun guardians yes it's a ctm map that has some nice lore (didn't learn much due to how the series went but! it's a good base to start with.) the sun itself being gone, darkness overtaking everything, the chosen heroes -sun guardians- having to restore the balance under the guidance of their sun god. yummy stuff aint it? went the route of the au's timeline being past the main ctm story events - exploring the sun religion and how they would y'know worship the god (we both have religious trauma lol pog), the guilt, the trauma, temptations, regret, crisis of faith, how to slowly heal and move on from it all, how the actual god is represented, hierarchy within the community, the items used during and after worship etc. (it also wouldn't be an inga involved au if i didn't add some angst or corruption to one of them from killing the dark lord by the end of the ctm lmaooo)

but yeah pardon my bad english i've never been good when it comes to explaining things which is why most of my work/ideas is represented via art and sketches!

[Send me a "👀" and I'll ramble about an au I have but don't know if I'll ever get to writing it.]

[narwhalandchill]

a bit more serious/negative note on childes characterization and fandom perception, saw a post where the tone upset me quite a bit

i did do a whole vent/rant/cathartic 2.4k words of writeup on this yesterday which like did help clear my thoughts a lot but in hindsight is way too long to just release by itself so i suppose ill just summarize my thinking now

so i would really appreciate it if a certain subset of childe fans reading his character a specific way (the trauma, identity crisis, dark abyss experiences, etc. - you know the one) could stop acting as if its this like. superior canon proven hoyo intended most real and intellectual way to look at his character and interpret his narrative. as opposed to just one reading of the canon material among others. and im sure most people are civil but ive seen this tone enough to just need to get this off my chest rn.

like im not "missing" something or being "tricked" (what?) by childe or the narrative. its not some naive ignorance about this reading being a thing and the ways people argue for it. ive read his lore. p much memorized it rly. and i simply did not find the arguments that compelling or feel that inserting this additional layer of subjective interpretation atop my understanding of the canon text did much to enhance childes narrative potential or characterization for me.

simply put. applying this super strict irl psychology logic (bc yes a real 14 yo going thru some irl version of ajax' backstory would get severe psychological disturbances as p much given. i know what the DSM-V is) to fantasy game characters isnt how i enjoy engaging with childe or any character really.

genshin is a fantasy game and fantasy as a genre has always readily sidestepped things like realistic psychological consequences of various heavy experiences in favor of building a compelling narrative whenever necessary. i dont find arguments relating to irl psychology particularly relevant at all on the subject really. if you enjoy this approach, go on, have fun! but please understand that its an interpretation that people can disagree without being "wrong" or failing some arbitrary reading comprehension test.

like the dismissive tone i see from people who simply cannot comprehend that like no, this take isnt some universal truth of hoyos that every person will glean from reading up on childes lore and appearances if theyre big brain and intellectual enough is just... really fucking rude? and alienating.

im not going to go on a like whole ramble on all the things that i personally see very much as hinting towards childes characterization going quite a different direction than this popular heavy self-doubt, psychological angle would suggest. its my interpretation after all, and could be proven wrong the way any interpretation can. but for now ive read his lore for years and looked into every single tidbit that involves him and so far hoyos writing of him hasnt given me any convinving case for changing my view drastically anytime soon. and id just like to be allowed to exist in this fandom space without being randomly jumpscared by posts alleging im reducing his character to this or that just bc i see his greatest narrative potential elsewhere.

theres enough insane shit and incredibly interesting lore relating to his overall role in the story and the cosmic scale of teyvat as a whole to be invested in already. like taking childes character as depicted to us and how in-game content characterizes him at a relative face value as opposed to seeking an implied internal struggle of sth hidden and repressed is me simply finding that take the most unique, fascinating, horrifying, compelling and exciting way to see him instead. thats what i love about him and his character. like im sorry, in my eyes the dark past corrupting innocence and trauma angle has just been done to death already in media. childe can have something actually different and breaking those tropes is what makes him stand out for me!

anyway. this whole situation is not sth i wanna start flaming ppl for or make into some drama, i try my best to stay on my lane and let ppl live even if i disagree w these sorta takes on childe. and i just wish for that grace to be extended towards myself too.

[trashcanfills]

Ok yea so I actually do have dreams where I was doomfist s/o in a variety of situations. I dont know if its funny or ridiculous but the dynamic tends to be that we do have a thing for each other, but I usually end up rejecting/not bother with doomfist much because I cannot stand his incredibly extreme actions following his belief on “only through conflict do we evolve”. Meanwhile uhhh he still attempts to pursue me or occasionally pop up to say he’s still interested because he hasn’t given up on me being his partner.

Boy oh boy as u can see that dynamic can easily be played with a lot. Theres one where we are still in contact kiiinda as friends even though we have broken up, except he’s still determined to get me back by being his usual self around me. Imagine reader being his s/o in that dynamic whereby overwatch wants to find impt info on doomfist and they send agents to find it through reader, since they know reader is like an important friend to doomfist right? Oh wait turns out it’s his ex and he’s been trying to woo them back. Lolololol

Orrrr there was one where reader is an overwatch agent/sponsor but it’s not well known since the organisation is just starting up and is still illegal. Doomfist and reader meet a few times and reader goes hm maybe I should get more info abt him and play double agent, EXCEPT OH NO THEY GROW GENUINE FEELINGS FOR THE MAN AND ITS RECIPROCATED. Reader is conflicted with themselves, realises they cannot continue on the relationship and stop but doomfist is determined to get reader on his side, even after realising reader sides with overwatch.

Aaaand this one technically is cus of self-ship and a good doomfist x reader one shot lol but basically doomfist and s/o meet up before his accident and when he was in a competitive martial artist. Somehow they meet thanks to s/o friend who is a fan of doomfist, and sparks fly. They eventually get married, but doomfist lost his arm in the Omnic crisis, which started his path to darkness. S/o tries to support him throughout until he gets inspired to do things again but because its now criminal activities, the moment s/o realises the extent of them (because s/o is like oh yea sometimes the law does suck and ppl do their own form of justice is ok so long as its morally acceptable to me. Except doomfist has killed innocents. Which s/o draws the fucking line), s/o and doomfist start arguing abt it.

It does cause a rift in the relationship because s/o starts to see df is not the man they love anymore, and df being unhappy because s/o doesnt accept his philosophy. S/o becomes hesitant to leave because they have mixed feelings and also fear doomfist would do sth to them if they actually leave. Then doomfist gets captured and jailed, and s/o managed to walk out of their shared home, file for divorce on grounds that her husband was a criminal, and later go into hiding because shes worried that he might escape because he is that smart and determined, and does her best to cover her tracks. At some point she manages to find Overwatch and joins them, just as doomfist escapes his cell.

Yea as u can see they are all budding ideas, but I might be able to write a story out. We need more doomfist stories ngl.

[atkadart]

Greetings👋, I know I haven't been that much activ lately. I feel lost in life and I don't know where I go nor what I do definitely doesn't affect my mental health in a negative way hahaha..ha..yeah....

But I just wanted to share what I'm working on atm ^√^

A new pfp! Me and drawing sth for my pfp is a whole different kind of crisis.

Sum doodles of Lesh (Zelda oc) and perhaps a lil sneak peak of her background. I kind of want to draw a really dark comic about it.... hunting questionable references.

And ofc a drawing of Killer (without his mask) from one piece 💕

Oki bye bye (^ ∇ ^)ﾉ”

[lightningandfireinmybones]

Oooofff that previous ask was into sth.

i can't imagine the devastation and the angst and the pure raw pain a Val dies AU might have. But riddle me this... What if the baby does again? What if it's a dragonbirth? What would happen if despite Val surviving the labour the whole experience was so touch and go?

Aemond's and Val's breeding kink is all fun and games until they are reminded of dear grandma Aemma Arryn... Shiet

Those author's cut gem chapters if written should be treated as actual precious gemstones thank you everybody

LMFAO breeding kink versus state of childbirth in Westeros!!! What will win!!!

Baby dies again, I think Valaena having an existential crisis and aemond has to have a very real conversation with her about what a child means to them (I do not want to write that conversation), especially with the horrid recent history of aemma and laena vs alysanne and rhaenyra having a million children

Dragon baby I think they love the scaley little thing anyway, they’re both so draconian anyway

A baby labor experience going poorly I think just means way longer recovery period for them, like it scares aemond more than it scares Valaena at first bc he can’t live without her

In conclusion there are so many dark ways this could go!!!🫡🫡🫡 and I love angst so

[metabolizemotions]

Season 5 feels inconsequential.

Ironically it may be because there are not enough inconsequential scenes in b/w the "crises" - scenes that don't advance any plots.

Like the team just hanging out together, just goofing around or updating one another about their personal lives. We don't see them having realistic friendships outside work. We don't even see their family, other than when the plot requires them.

5b is supposed to be dark. After Dean's death, it's been many defeats or hopeless situations with few wins, against the systems - the Warrens fighting for Pru's custody, the corrupt SFD, the unprofessional and biased fire chief, Maya's forever-demotion, Dixon running for mayor, Andy against the police and legal system, Jack's time in the foster system which still affects him, Carina Green Card interview... (many of these will carry over to season 6...)

Instead of having overlapping plot lines with more organic starts and stops, we see rather compartmentalised episodes (within which, the emotional arc of the character regarding that event is completed too - I wrote sth about this and the lack of a consistent support system here). When we see people put together, we can easily guess that they serve a certain storyline. After that, we may not even see them talking at all.

With unspecified time jumps and offscreen developments, when someone has a "crisis", the emotional stakes are not high enough. Because we lost touch with the character's life. It is hard to be invested in the process and outcome.

Telling instead of showing, cramming of storylines, and the lack of connective elements make the season more like a a montage of events than a coherent arc.

The pacing seems off, especially when it comes to scenes of Maya and Carina. The rest of the characters have long chats or unhurried unfolding of a single plot point about themselves. Meanwhile Marina scenes, together or separate, are always short and/or harried, hardly solely about themselves.

The curious case of being both self-aware yet tone-deaf simultaneously. Maya, Carina, Jack and Andy on different occasions mentioning the absurdity of Jack being the donor. Despite stating the very same reasons we talk about, they try harder to normalise it.

[mccarthymolly]

m,,. Not terrified of talk w ppl , b when do surprise aggression, maybe like a kind of aggression or speech disorganization more specific than attachments

Hmdk,kl,j,,hk ok,h,k,l,,u,hm,ok,hm,uh,ww,hm,ok,

No,dmb,chil,hm,ww

Hard for both dif things b dont take side, prob mute side

Frk nt nc ww regr

Ur preference isnt important fr smns being

They ghost n dstrc in meetings lk stonewalling js nt listen nt basic cmctn w dk, nt oral,ww, hmk h ku fdbk uh n I n

No, u like friendliness, i did ,ww no, j mu n uh too mch, dam, trying chng me, this ist seminar to mk cnv or cmmnt, ur spsd hlp

Cant say yes ww,prblm,hm,no ,oh,ok,hm,uh,no,

Nc hm,u,o, ,juh,wwh,,j,

Wwhwar uh

Nt run, j, k wk,

Ww,no,non

No,english bsing,ha,js th,orengkishunderstanding bit elab,dam u awk ir hate that idk,put on spot,omg, int then hate,wwhm,no,uh,ww,energy or wt, ig w patterns n lines,ok,yh,uh,n,o,j , goto,no,uh,ok,ww,cant, so ltr reflc? Wwh,,uh,hm,

Dk,fd,uh,n, k, u,ww, push on,uh,no,j

K ww n uh, j

Theory easier or harder,uh,

Lk ladsie wt is it boy b theyre rgginst yon f their light lk repevance of their info or ppl who comply pretend , b role, js rej.ig pnfl to be mn yh

Hm,uh ,no,nt diverse psyly,j,m

Y no paeti for me holiday ig over person nea who wont tell or id deniable, sth lk this? Oh

Uh ij

Y standing there,uh,no,

In the clear,uh,bthrm,uh,

Plc u like b uh, small for profit club, this nt nded fir rel, js nc

Nt ethival, misquote, ww, right at parts,ww,uh,u long b i no,uh,hm,uh no,not context or ask,demo ur ethics

Im not metable lk thst,uh,

Egg fr ck nt me,uh,

Pn yh not maximize,uh,

The wont hlp

Wwhm I hm oh

Cant see b dk uh n k

OmgHm no ww no h

K no

Patience

N u kick it dance n reaponses w idk

U dk how transition n r emotions

Th worst ppl, bc hon,?

Cna tge tour crisis,ww,uh,

Self hate n forfeit

Said onc b nt agn b aay b uh

Fr who i was when die

Nohk uh k hww hk k uh

Cn u cmmct not passive or agg. Cmmn w adults b not habituable in pain sense, gets to ppl they don't understand, js recognition in reflecting lk this message.

Swal

Hm adults lk kids w more adults or hopelessness or religiosity mybe,j,k,,(

Doesnt mttr that diversity, maybe would upset ppl honestly, policy inforcement more important, hk j, system fr wt,h,m

Take without asking me, this more historic wt y,uh, nl j,k,ok,no,uh,wt u do, vote, talkz maybe donate,uh,

Hv u learned alot about someone. Y not treat ev lk not, b not for fun, js as if lk that. Or they have v simple lives n haven't considered wwh

Piano rankey b nt lessons so wt,uh,dk, f me, gd they didnt test me, js wanted to believ maybe,dk,hm,h,,uh,n,o,h,

Fear dark, mind dark,oh, more powerful bad than good, good less good than ur bad was bad, medioc

Hobby personality lk personality do as hobby hm

Sth

2mmn

Let them be them b they dhdnt be bad

Guys uh no hjm

Lioe bc agree or feel heard n effective lk was giving good

Not confront or standup for me b that's not true

Coaching,no,h,k,j,

Hmdkhmno uh

Testing u,uh,n,k,j,y remind me,uh,

Melody more straight w more divergent melody, v less straight melody w more straight solo n maybe more straight often than first melody ,hm,ok,hm,uh,

Quote eh ok

How hear history. Is it history or maturity w can imply history b how hear history,hm,ok,person v player

Understanding n planning at youth. J,i,j,,j,lk,wwjzz

Cant do authentic lk nstural n indtinct, less had pefect life n are perfect, or youre excuser , u js tine out,hmwwno h

Dk eh,ym,o,n,o, j i,j,uh,n,i,h

Fitin more by eml n more authentic, hm uh no

[synthshade]

Just when you think they can't make the SCU any worse, they say "bet" and then do exactly that.

I'm gonna be honest with you all, if I hadn't already written a bit of it and promised I'd at least do it as a fic, I don't know if I'd bother to even do STHDC at all. I honestly need a bit of time away from that AU, but I think I could still stand doing it as a fic. But the comic itself? About that...

At this point, I think the only way I could stand doing Dark Crisis as a comic at all is if I retconned the SCU part of it. Maybe if it was just an expansive adaptation of Unleashed, similar to how the Zelda manga expand on the games' plot and Link's character.

Even if I did it because "it's what a lot of people want", to be honest I'd probably be miserable if I had to do specifically a SCU comic. At least if I retool it into something based on just the games, then maybe I could at least slightly enjoy working on it.

Anyway, that's why I'm probably going to delete the STHDC WIPs. I don't have the energy to finish them anymore, so they're not WIPs -- they're just unfinished. If I ever finish them then I'll put up the finished pieces, but I can't promise I'll ever have the energy to put any work into them again.

I hate how littered the blog feels with a ton of unfinished art, and once I've finished Dark Crisis as a fic I think I might be moving on from the SCU, so I honestly want to do a bit of "rebranding". I'll still be in the Sonic fanbase for the games and the fanwork, but that's it.

For now, I'll work on that Team Sonic fic and see how things go. It's simpler to write and it'll be around eight chapters, so it shouldn't take too much time to do.

[mephydoggo]

Two bros chillin in hell on earth.

Fun fact: this was going to be a doodle, but I have no self control, so here we are. It's fun what you can do with only a solid brush though!

[biolizardboils]

“Oh, how ironic fate can be…”

[whumpitisthen]

Masterlist

Auden's Story masterlist

I’ve realized that finding my writing on here is like impossible so I think it’s about time i made one of these :3

There is no overarching story, so go ahead, read through the descriptions and jump into any story that interests you!

Taglist (tagged in everything I write): @morning-star-whump @whumprince

TWs for all around creepy/intimate whumpers, blood, sadistic whumpers, just a lot of Non-Sexual touching, scared bois and anything you may associate with whump honestly; each one is tagged accordingly. I do not write anything NSFW besides gore!

PLEASE CONSIDER SUPPORTING ME ON MY KO-FI IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU'RE SEEING PLS I WILL BECOME FOREVER INDEBTED TO YOU AND YOU WILL BE FREE TO TAKE MY SOUL :D ALSO I HAVE A BOOK NOW YOU CAN GET IT RIGHT HERE

Simple Pleasures, Simple Pains

Content also available in my book :)

Fireplace - broken whumpee with possibly nonhuman whumper, who lost all hope of ever escaping, kinda dark and could count as horror? i think?

Chauffeur - a rich (probably part of the mafia or sth idk) whumper that went a bit overboard with the whumping, a sleep deprieved obedient but very tired whumpee and a chauffeur that did not sign up for this

Inferior - creepy whumper having dinner with his two pets

A Dark Desire - whumper that found it necessary to give his plaything nyctophobia (make him deathly afraid of the dark) and now after having finally let him out of the Dark Room, he decides to test out how deep that fear really goes

Four - whumper changing his slightly defiant whumpee’s only interaction with him that didn’t involve him getting hurt at all into yet another game that involves making the poor thing cry

A Strange Day - whumper seemed to have experienced something that put him under the weather, and whumpee notices, deciding to try and be helpful, until whumper asks him a question he didn’t expect

Won’t you sing for me? - whumpee uses his own voice to calm himself, whumper finds out about it, uses his boytoy’s pyrophopia to make him sing for him, horror ensues :)

My host - whumper and whumpee share a body/ whumpee is posessed by whumper; sleep paralysis and creepy fondness

A nightmare that won’t let you wake - nightmare-ception, panic attack, gore, horror - all the good stuff

Mine - uhh usual pet whump with overly possessive creepy whumper, lots of choking and scared boi action bonus hair pulling vampire whump if you squint

A thorough look in the mirror - gore. talk of so much past torture. broken whumpee. whumper is toxic friend turned torturer bc he is a sadistic lil bitch and liked the sounds whumpee was making a bit too much. i swear i was on some shit writing this.

Bye-bye - captive whumpee is allowed to call caretaker as a sick game for his captor and a way to crush him more

Drown it out - poor boi has to endure the hellish screams coming from the basement, how sad :(

Instincts - little drabble about a sadistic non-human whumper asking human whumpee about this thing called 'fear'

Bloody kisses - very ewie gross intimate whumper and paranoid whumpee relaxing together......... ew... (noncon touching, noncon kissing, but no more than that)

To shatter - whumpee experiences an existential crisis while being taught (violently threatened) by whumper about the ways he can fuck him up

That damned smile  - whumpee talking about whumper's smile, and how creepy it is that its the same as it was before they turned out to be a sadistic asshole. whumper responds

Stay still - first person whump? whumpee is held at knifepoint and is panicking on the inside while trying their best to keep still

Fresh meat - poor innocent boi was kidnapped and put into a red room, awaiting his first time on the official Red Room channel :) exciting stuff!

Infatuation - some artistic whump? Big description of the agony of human by an artistic creepy whumper

Growing a heart - whumper leaves his whumpee with a friend, but turns out, said friend wasn't very trustworthy and made whumpee more scared of being left there than whumper has ever seen him

Choices - a fresh lineup of whumpees are getting ready to be auctioned, but there is one more than allowed at once, so whumper has to choose wisely between them on which to take with themself

Childhood Monster - legends say that a cruel people-eating beast hunts on the other side of the town, and everyone had to move away from there, making it a home for only the ghosts of its victims. unfortunately for our whumpee, he has a family to feed, and has run out of ways to do so. and so alone, starving himself, he ventures into that forbidden district, where he hopes to find some food for his family and return in one piece.

The Collector's Market - whumper goes to a very fancy special event, only for his peaceful time to be interrupted by a whumpee in the middle of escaping from their own whumper. Whumper on whumper violence alert 🚨 (whumper/-ee is alluded to being a teenager, minor whump)

Silent -  who loves asphyxiation? Me I do. Who loves creepy horrible little people suffocating weak little pretty men? Also me

Colleague Conflict - whumper who works in a facility made to gather information from dangerous criminals realizes that the person who leads said facility and also is a close friend of theirs enjoys this work - torturing people - a lot more than they thought

Maze - whumpee waking up in a huge labyrinth of a place and having to find a way out (bonus content in SpSp, only draft here)

One-shots:

Récamier - first person whump i wrote for a friend, vampire “therapist” whumper, first thing i ever actually wrote so be gentle :)

My Little Mortal - a lonely god and a desperate mortal meet in the rain. Power play ensues.

Anticipation - asking to be hurt, anticipation and power dynamics

Too Much - defiant whumpee breaks for the first time

Drabbles:

Eat up - whumper was so kind to bring warm freshly made soup to whumpee and whumpee just wont eat it for some reason?? horrible way to treat your captor in my opinion (whipping)

Lonely... - part two of 'Instincts', this time a little different.........

They will survive - an escape attempt in the snowy forest, hunted by a cry of hounds. some eye gore and death tw.

A tiney wribte :) - little tiney dialogue of creepy whumper likening whumpee's heartbeat to purring

Have you ever cut your finger? - creepy dialogue about ruining handgore

Today Is His Special Day! - whumpee is with bad caretaker that hurts people, and a misunderstood conversation leads him to think the only reason caretaker hasn't hurt him is bc they're not yet old enough

“I’m thinking again...”

The Crave - whumper let go of his whumpee to let them heal and now can barely control himself day to day from the overwhelming urge to hurt someone

No Longer a Lie — a story about a whumpee missing their whumper so much, that after only month of freedom, they find their way right back to that hellish prison they had escaped

(prompts/ideas/evil little thoughts)

No talking, only sounds - title says it all

Messing with their sense of time - a new and better way of making your whumpee lose sense of time, and have fun doing it!

... - collection of dialogue no. 1

Holiday whump collection - collection of horrible horrible ideas of whump for the holiday times, some festive pain is always welcome

A whumpee who's whumper never hurts them - whumpee is scared and obedient, yet they aren't under threat of physical abuse. Whumper never hurts them, and they would like to keep it that way

Sadistic choice - fun little decisions you can force your poor little meow meow to make

I don't care. - just a fun little prompt :)

Signs that hurt is on the way - a collection of fun signs that whumpee can catch that tells them they are in trouble

Game idea: staring contest - make up a rule and watch your whumpee figure out desperately what it is

What do you want from me? - short dialogue prompt about a poor little meow meow doing their best

Mute whumpees - mute whumpee appreciation post

Tiny whump:

Tiny Whump Time - a collection of tiny whump tropes

Tiny whump creepy whumper dialogue prompts - more tiney whumps

Tiny pet whump prompts - and even more tiny whumps

Art:

A piece with a bruised neck i made :)

Cat boi in pain :)

Knife to the lips ouch :)

A space demon :)

Miscellanious:

Whatever this is - me thinking about Neck Whump™ in the middle of the night half asleep that a lot of people seem to enjoy for some reason

Wouldn't you? - i think watching a pretty boi crying on my floor is about as good as life could get......... dont you?? im normal i swear

 (Profile pic was made with this incredible picrew)

[vodkassassin]

Hellooooo I heard that you are taking prompts!! May I propose crossdressing SQH? For the sect's mission or sth like that =))) and he pulls a very convincing disguise, with his knowledge as an author. Bonus if he can dance/sing/play instruments cuz I know he has it in him, being an overachiever he is (sorry for the rambling I just. Rly love him)

Don’t apologize! I love SQH too, so feel free to ramble away. My inbox is always open, even if you just want to gush about Shang Qinghua!

—

“Everything is set up correctly?” Yue Qingyuan frets.

And it really is fretting, the way that the man hovers over the group of peak lords that have gathered around the meeting table, almost like a hungry hummingbird scoping out its next meal. The man is normally much more composed than this, a bastion of calm amidst any crisis, and it’s making everyone else high strung as well, now that he’s slipped.

“For the last time, Sect Leader,” Shen Qingqiu grouses tiredly from where he sits, as slouched as he’ll ever get, fan open and so close to his face that it’s pressed against his cheek and causing his words to slur slightly. “We have gone over every possible contingency. Shang-shidi will be as safe as if he is still within our very own sect.”

“Yes, I know,” Yue Qingyuan murmurs, still gazing concernedly down at the multiple shafts of papers that they’ve got spread out across the entirety of the table. There’s a crease in between his brows, and Shen Qingqiu doesn’t really blame the man for being so worried, not really.

It’s a big operation, what they’ve got going on here. Complex, precarious, and it’s so incredibly important that they get every minute detail correct in their handling of the situation, or all of Shang Qinghua’s hard work, years worth of it, will go down the drain faster than someone can snap their fingers.

Despite carrying himself with the calm distance of an immortal master, leader of one of the greatest sects in all of China, Yue Qingyuan is the most ardent Big Brother Type that Shen Yuan has ever met in either of his lives. The man obviously cares about each and every one of his martial siblings, and it’s very apparent in the way that he gets anxious like this whenever one of them is put into a dangerous situation.

Given what the situation entails — and what exactly they’re dealing with here — Shen Qingqiu definitely doesn’t blame him for his hovering.

But, by the heavens, he’s ready to grab him by the shoulders and force him into a chair. He is fully prepared to sit on the man himself just to get Yue Qingyuan to be still for five seconds.

“Shang Qinghua is not new to work like this,” Mu Qingfang says soothingly. His calming demeanor is only broken by the way the doctor reaches out a second later to redundantly adjust the placement of one of the papers that litter the table. A nervous tick. “Out of us all, it’s him who has the highest chance of success. That’s why we chose him.”

“I know,” Yue Qingyuan says again, more firmly this time. He folds his hands behind his back and stands straight, gazing down at the table between them all. “However, given the matter at hand, your shixiong believes it prudent to ensure that every possible avenue of failure be closely examined.”

“More than we already have?” Ju Qingsong complains. He’s slumped entirely over the table, and has been for the last two hours. “Zhangmen-shixiong, this lord thinks that you’re really being a mother hen, here. Shang-shixiong’s done this sort of thing before. He’ll be fine!”

“It’s Shang-shijie now, Qingsong,” Qi Qingqi slyly announces, pulling the door to the meeting room open with a flourish. “And look, our martial sister! She’s so pretty, isn’t she?”

“I still don’t see why it couldn’t have been you doing this,” Shang Qinghua grouches as he troops into the room behind her. “You’ve done stuff like this before, as much as I have, and you’re actually a girl.”

Shen Qingqiu turns away from the table, a word of good-nature’s ribbing ready at the top of his tongue, but he finds that he can’t deploy it. Not when his bro is standing right there and looking like a real, dainty and dignified young maiden of a noble, xianxia family.

The robes are what’s most shocking, at first, like a full frontal assault to what Shen Qingqiu has become used to in regards to his friend. Shang Qinghua prefers dark blues, indigos, and blacks, all in a durable and solid weave — so, to see him decked out in flowing silks of soft pastels and light trims and embroidery, is certainly a shock to the senses.

His hair is next on the list of differences, usually pinned up entirely in braids and a bun held together with sharp silver needles. Today, half of it falls down his back in a gentle wave, while the top half of it is carefully twisted up into a delicate looking hair ornament that sparkles subtly in the light of the night pearls that decorate the meeting hall’s ceiling.

All of this, paired with the tasteful arrangement of jewelry — earrings that accentuate his jaw in a way that makes it appear a softer line than it actually is, artful golden clasps around the crown of his head, with gemmed beads that hang on carefully positioned wires to frame the fall of his hair and make it look like a tumbling waterfall of golden waters — Shang Qinghua makes for a beautiful young mistress.

“Damn, bro,” he says, unable to stop himself.

Shang Qinghua turns and raises an eyebrow at him, and all Shen Qingqiu finds himself able to do is shoot his friend a thumbs up.

“Damn is right,” Ju Qingsong gives a low whistle, pushing himself up from the table. Both of his eyebrows have risen up to meet his hairline, and a large grin adorns his face. “Shang-shijie! You’re breathtaking! Isn’t she gorgeous, Qingsheng?”

Rong Qingsheng doesn’t answer the man. He’s too busy staring at Shang Qinghua with silent and intense eyes. Knowing what he does of the lord of the agricultural peak, Shen Qingqiu figures he’s busy cataloguing every minute detail of their martial brother’s — er, sister’s — new look.

Honestly, he doesn’t blame him at all. Shang Qinghua makes for a show-stopping beauty.

Seriously, what the hell?

“Didn’t I do such a good job?” Qi Qingqi preens. She reaches over and, with careful fingers, tucks a stray strand of hair behind Shang Qinghua’s ear.

The man ducks his head, slowly in mindfulness of his intricate up-do, but Shen Qingqiu is too busy having heart palpitations to make fun of him for it. From the way that his fellow martial brothers’ eyes have all widened imperceptibly, they’re having similar struggles.

Liu Qingge stands up from the table rather abruptly.

“Qi-shijie needs to go instead,” he demands, a scowl curving his brows downward.

Shang Qinghua lets out an exasperated puff of air and tilts his head back, chin rising up almost stubbornly, and it’s likely because he’s still not used to the added weight of the hair ornaments. What it does, though, is expose the curve of his neck, and Shen Qingqiu turns away from the sight of his bro entirely just to shoot their sect leader a look of trepidation. The man himself seems like his earlier anxieties have doubled.

“That’s what I said earlier!” Shang Qinghua complains, crossing his arms over his chest. He’s pouting, and oh god it makes the picture of him look all the more delicate. Has Airplane even seen himself in a mirror yet?! He needs to stop with the cute actions!

“I said ‘Qi-shimei is actually a girl! Like, we have an actual female peak lord, who doesn’t have to crossdress in order to sneak into the human trafficking ring to find their financial books!’” Shang Qinghua re-enacts, pout becoming even more pronounced. Shen Qingqiu is pretty sure that Liu Qingge’s grip on the table has just cracked the wood. “And you all were like, ‘But Shang Qinghua! You have more undercover experience!’ And I was like, ‘That’s bullshit!’ because you all know that Qi Qingqi’s peak actually specializes in espionage! Like, why is it always me that has to go undercover?! I’m An Ding! I deal with information networks, not field work!”

“Except, you do deal in fieldwork,” Mu Qingfang points out, gently. He sounds like someone has punched him in the gut. “Very often, in fact…. Zhangmen-shixiong, I-I don’t think—”

“That’s because you guys always make me go!” Shang Qinghua interrupts him, clearly needing to complain a bit more. “I mean, there are plenty of times I do it myself, sure, but that’s just because I know the job will be done right that way! But all the other times! Like now! Seriously, you guys, Qi Qingi is right there!”

“And we definitely should have listened to you, you’re right,” Shen Qingqiu says weakly, waving his fam in front of his face in the hopes that it’ll help with the faint flush he can feel assaulting his cheeks.

“It’s too late for second guessing,” Qi Qingqi says flippantly, shaking her loose hair behind her shoulders. “If we change things up now, the entire operation will have to be reworked from the ground up, and that’s just not possible with the time frame we have. If we want to take advantage of the opening we’ve been given to take down this trafficking ring, then we must proceed as planned.”

“I hate that I have to agree with you,” Shang Qinghua grumbles.

He takes a step forward, toward the table, and then stops, staring at his own chair with a complicated expression on his face. After a few moments, he sighs and looks up.

“All these layers are even more complicated than my peak lord formal attire,” he says, forlorn. “I… I have no idea how to sit down in them…. Shijie, help.”

Qi Qingqi cackles, loudly, before going forward and pulling the man’s chair out for him. She waves her hand at the seat and instructs Shang Qinghua on how to adjust his robes as he sits, and then goes on to comment that they will have to practice so that Shang Qinghua will be able to make the motions look flawless and befitting of the young noble lady that he will be impersonating.

None of the other peak lords move. They’re too busy looking anywhere but at the two shijie currently chatting away on the other side of the table. Well, Rong Qingsheng is studying them rather carefully, but that’s a given. Ju Qingsong is watching his friend with an amused (if wistful) expression, himself.

Shen Qingqiu shuts his fan with a flick of his wrist and lays his head down on the table, pillowing his eyes into his crossed forearms.

He supposes that he will have to resign himself to the unfortunate fate of actually worrying about his best friend while the other is gone, for the entirety of the mission. Airplane is just too pretty for his own good! It’s Shen Yuan’s job, as his bro, to be absolutely and wholeheartedly concerned about what might happen to him out there, especially in the situation he will be descending into.

Man, he really relates to Yue Qingyuan, now. Had the sect leader known just how pretty Shang Qinghua would be? Is that why he’d been so visibly apprehensive even from the beginning?

Shen Qingqiu thinks he might need a drink. He glances across the table, at Shui Qingyu, and finds that the brewery peak lord appears to be thinking the same. Their eyes meet, their expressions of dread nearly identical, and they share a nod.

Later tonight, they’re going to get drunk.

[caffinateef-studyblr]

12th July, 2021

4:30 p. m.

🌆 Today's tasks

revise the complete syllabus of physics

practice two hours of maths (differential calc)

revise the architecture stuff + drawing practice

practice mental aptitude

8th July - What’s your happiest summer memory from your childhood?

most of my summers have been pretty good honestly (also the fact that I literally cant remember stuff until its prompted to me) (also this is me like an hour after typing that last sentence and i just spent the last hour trying to look up and remember what my life has been up to now because I got a weird existential crisis on how I literally don't remember anything. i just remember weird fragments of details but not like the overall event sdkdf- ANYWAYS) I guess the happiest summer memory would be a birthday party I had when I was in either 5th 6th or 7th grade and like it had kinda rained that day and then there was like a soft sunshine at like 5 in the evening and when people came over it was just very fun.

9th July - Do you usually go on vacation during the summer?

Yeah! we used to go someplace new every summer for like a week or so and it was very fun but we haven't for the past 3 years, last year because covid and also mainly because it was the prime-time of my studies.

10th July - What is the best vacation you have ever been on? (note: doesn’t have to be a summer vacation)

We went to Goa in 2016 while we were about to drop my brother off for his first year at college. that was a really fun trip!

11th July - What is your favourite vacation memory?

Me and my brother did zip-lining between the mountains at Meghalaya in like 2017 (i think.) (I'm pretty sure i was in 9th grade so it was definitely 2017) It was like very high up and there was a huge valley filled with trees and there were also clouds there so basically we literally went through the clouds. It was really really cool.

12th July - What is the worst vacation you have ever been on?

There's never really been a worst vacation but there was this one time when i was really smol (like 3rd grade i think, or rather in the gap between 3rd and 4th) and dad was getting promoted and transferred to a new place and we'd planed that we'll do the trip, come back, pack up, and then move to the new place. but then while we were in the train, dad's senior called him up and was like there's an emergency or sth and we had to reduce the time for the trip so rather than 1.5 weeks, we had to do it all in like 5-6 days, and we in fact went to ALL of the planned places, but we had to wake up super early (like 4a.m.) and went to bed at around 12 to 1. The guy who'd been driving us around was pretty cool with it and dad had given him like quite a lot of extra tip because ofc he deserved it and I'm honestly thankful for that lmfao. and when we came back we were supposed to be home in the morning and spend the whole day packing and the next day was when we had to actually move out, but the train got delayed and we got home at night. so we had to get everything packed overnight and shipped out by like 12 p.m the next day and there was a LOT of stuff.

so anyway. the trip wasn't bad just a bit rushed ksdsdf

13th July - What is your dream vacation?

Just getting to a new and relaxing where ever i end up going. Like, nice sceneries, good food, getting to know people even if its just for a few hours or a few days, just gaining some memorable experiences. that sounds like such a typical answer but isn't that the point of travelling in general?

HHHhH looks like I've got another item in my post-exam to-do list: make a list of at least some major things in the years throughout my life <3

Also the day has been dark and gloomy snfbsjdb if doesn't rain by the end of the day I will be sad sndnsn

Anyway! if you'd like to do the 2021 summer studyblr challenge too head over to @myhoneststudyblr 's account and check out the whole thing! I hope your summer's been going well!! Have a great day!!

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

If a person were the designated therapist for an engine (I'm thinking Gordon or Henry specifically, but also in general), what kinds of things get discussed? What fears do they hold that they refuse (or very reluctantly try) to speak about? Idk, I just feel very curious.

Not sure I’m the best person to ask. I’m trying very hard here to stay on-topic, and to not go to town analyzing the premise of the question…   

… but, damn, this ask made me realize that I have a lot of thoughts about engine psychology.   

In short, I doubt the engines have much access to this kind of psychiatric help. And if they did I’m not sure it would make things better. Like, “engines don’t need therapists!” is a position that seems ripe for abuse, but I am also concerned that therapists would often be used to get engines resigned to mistreatment.   

But I’m gonna heroically just Stick To The Question.   

Gordon would have a good deal of survivor’s guilt to unpack. Nor do I think he’d be unique! MOST of our Sodor friends would. Sodor is a refuge, but most of them have friends and family that have long since been outright killed. Especially during modernization/dieselization.   

The RWS books suggest that he adapted with remarkable grace to being replaced on the Express by Pip and Emma. Like… uncharacteristic grace. Hmmm.   

If you’re cool with me diving into my humanization for a moment… I absolutely believe every converted ex-vehicle is enrolled in therapy as a matter of course (that’s a tremendous and stressful life change!)   

In Gordon’s sessions—well, some of Gordon’s rather self-centered behavior is even less cute as a human than as an engine.   

And I think Gordon early on, with an unusual degree of insight, decides that he wants to talk about his fears that now he’s going to lose his friends (both current and ex-engines).   

Of course, the way he puts it is that he’s afraid he’ll lose them because he used to be a magnificent Gresley Pacific, but now he’s nothing in particular.   

After his therapist’s mind is done exploding, she gently tries to steer him into examining his actual behavior as well as why he thinks they were ever friends with him to begin with.   

Gordon: because they admired me greatly, of course!   

therapist: …   

Gordon: i mean. anyone with a shred of sense would want to be friends with one of my kind! 

therapist: you know… i think perhaps you actually don’t give yourself enough credit 

Gordon: whatever do you mean? 

Meanwhile, Henry would have plenty of identity issues to unpack. Plus some PTSD.   

Though, again, in canon itself I think we see him doing a remarkably good job working through it all over the decades.   

Speaking of canon, the one time when I really, really, really do think a psychiatrist’s help was urgently needed for an engine was, of course, during the tunnel incident. I call that a mental health crisis, full stop, and it still breaks my heart that the best STH could do for him was “brick up in a dark lonely tunnel for several months and turn it all into a morality tale.” (Perhaps the scariest part is that I do think STH did his best. I mean, he had worse and harsher options, and it cost him, not to go for those… but it is also VERY 1920s, to look at some ordinary worker falling apart at the seems and to NOT get him/her competent mental help.)   

And Henry wouldn’t be the only one with PTSD. Three-fourths of the Little Western could use treatment for it, stat.   

Other special mentions: 

Thomas grapples with the mixed blessing of being The Favorite (the actual favorite, James, if you please); 

Percy and James both would be pleased to vent about how no one takes them seriously, although honestly I think in the latter’s case the problem is entirely self-inflicted; 

and I respectfully submit that Sir Handel is just a goddamn mess and could keep a team of therapists employed for decades 

“I always stand well back… trucks don’t like me.” Yes, it’s just a funny natural phenomenon. Like gravity. No explaining it! Ah well, at least you won’t mock the hell out of the poor brother you just got wrecked when he’s still struggling with the after-effects of your idiocy months down the road.