#still gonna post my destiel memes though

[unforth]

Alright instead of rageposting about white people perpetuating racism problems in cnovel/cdrama fandoms I've channeled my feels into cleaning up some shit I've been doing a bad job at maintaining and feeling horribly guilty about for months or even years. This is probably a healthier use of my current "fuck it." So, for reference, I've:

deleted the kink meme part of the DMBJ kink meme on AO3. This means that the prompts and sign ups and claims are now gone (I'm sorry I didn't give people time to save their prompts, but the reason I didn't do this months ago was that it had many steps and I was being useless about DOING those steps and as I said in the intro paragraph, I'm now at "fuck it" and like. if I can't do it "the right way" I'm today just breaking and doing it "the wrong way" and here we are). The collection and the ten stories in it still exists and anonymity and such are still maintained for people who wanted it, but new prompts and new fills cannot be submitted.

ditto the above for the kink meme part of the SPN kink meme on AO3. The prompts and sign ups and claims are now gone. I also removed myself administrating the Tumblr, though the other two people involved (fpwoper and envydean) do still have access. I realized belatedly that I really should have offered to just leave and let them have it but, again, today is apparently "fuck it" day which means I'm not thinking through the ramifications of my actions which has resulted in some bad fandom citizenry behavior on my part, and again, I truly do apologize. (I've offered to help them reconstruct the challenge part if either of them wants to run it; fpwoper has already said no, I'll see what envydean says and I'll apologize profusely even more and do what I can do fix things if envydean DOES want to take over and make it active again). The collection and the stories written for it still exist; that's about 40 works. Thanks to everyone who participated.

I left @saawek's Star of Solitude event, which I helped run a year and a half ago. Saawek hasn't really been active on Tumblr, but hun if you see this it's nothing at all about you or TGCF I'm just pulling back from things that even seeing them in my blog list has been causing me stress on the daily.

I formally announced that I'll be consolidating @zhenhunartreblogs and @dmbjartreblogs in @cnovelartreblogs, and I've posted to that effect in all three blogs. If you want Zhenhun/Guardian and DMBJ art content from my sideblogs, unfollow the old blogs and follow at cnovelartreblogs, and just black list fandoms you're not interested in - that's the whole reason I tag everything.

I deleted another side blog I haven't been using.

I'm considering deleting @memesforwriters, which I only update maybe once a month, and honestly just typing all this up has I think tipped me over into "fuck it" and I'm going to delete that too. I expect I'll instead reblog relevant memes to the @duckprintspress account, since I have to maintain that regardless.

My last remaining completely inactive Tumblr sideblog is where I'd posted on translated chapter the 2ha manhua. I really would like to be doing more work like that, though hell if I know when I'll have time; I renamed that blog to @unforthfantranslations, and I have vague hopes to translate more of 2ha and to tackle Lie Huo Jiao Chou (which I've never read any version of and would like to). But tbh I probably won't manage any progress on any of that until the fall.

Nothing like a pile of grief to make me say "I'm done feeling guilty about this stuff, like is too short, fuck it I'm gonna make these changes I've been waffling about for ages."

P. S. I opened another window to check how exactly I'd renamed the translation blog and while I had it opened I decided on a compromise with memesforwriters, which is that I'm exporting it, and THEN I'll delete it. And I DMed the Destiel Harlequin mods that I'm done and think we should shut it down. And I spotted a couple Discord servers I'm going to leave.

So yeah. that's the mood today in a (rather large and overly wordy) nutshell.

Apparently when I said yesterday that I'd be quiet, I failed to take into account how I ACTUALLY process grief. In my defense, this is only the...fourth?...time someone I really care about has died in my entire life. (counts of...Arthur, Gil, my grandfather, yeah that's three...of course other people I've cared about have died but no one who I loved and who I felt "I wish I had more time with this person." Like...I wish I'd had more time with Belle but I didn't love her...yeah I'm just babbling now I'm sorry I'm like this today.)

ETA: okay I just left like 6 Discord servers I haven't been using, too. There's only one I'm still like "maybe I shouldn't..." but I know a lot of people in that server and if I really want back in I can ask for invite.

[imbiowaresbitch]

Sounds Like Forever

Hello! Welcome to another Destiel fic ‘cause I’m never going to escape these idjits, and I don’t want to. Rating: Explicit

Words: 13088

Author’s Notes:  What started as a hilarious meme of a mug making an accidental announcement turned into something kinda angsty, a little violent, very fluff, and just a bit horny (okay, more than a bit). That said, please mind the tags about domestic violence and abuse. If you're not in the right headspace to read this one, pass it by. Above all, be kind to yourselves.

~~

Summary:

Cas started dating April Kelly to try to get over his feelings for his best friend, Dean. But she is both volatile and violent, and after five months, he's had enough. When an apology gift she forces on him makes an unexpected, unwanted announcement, Cas panics. Her reaction to being dumped is explosive, and Cas calls the person he trusts most for help.

~~

Excerpt:

Cas wasn't ordinarily the type to bring his work home with him. In his previous jobs, he'd always believed in a strong sense of work-life balance. Once he went into business for himself though, well, he couldn't help it.

Rescuing plants and trees that would otherwise die was gratifying. Hardly the same as bringing home paperwork as an accountant.

He set his new plants on the counter and collected a shallow tray, filling it with water. He set it on the rolling rack he had near the window, then put his new plants in to soak up some water on their own. He looked at the cracked earth and frowned.

The supplier's quality had fallen off, and he'd bought these three plants himself and brought them home to coax them back to health rather than try to sell them to anyone. Glancing around his dining room, he sighed happily. There was green everywhere. Spider plants and ivy, jade, as well as two temperamental African violets under glass bells to keep them warmer and hold in moisture better, a sickly orchid a little apart from the others while he figured out why the petals were spotted brown. There was a variegated philodendron draping its healthy, shiny leaves from a hanging basket in splashes of green and white, and a royal princess philodendron sat on the floor in its enormous pot, the huge leaves a mix of green and pink.

Sitting on the window sill were a trio of cacti, a few other succulents, and a giant aloe vera plant he'd coaxed from a small, damaged thing to this monstrosity over the years. Further over was a collection of herbs, and he eyed the flourishing basil hungrily, wondering if he had the ingredients in his pantry to make pesto.

Grinning at his new additions, Cas adjusted them in their tray to make sure they were getting the sun they needed and snapped a picture. He posted it on Instagram, then went back to the kitchen to clean up the bit of dirt that had spilled when he re-potted his new arrivals.

He felt his phone vibrate and pulled it from his pocket again, grinning as he saw the notification was a text from Dean. His best friend followed him on Instagram but didn't really use it. And yet he was always one of the first to react to Cas’ posts.

Dean: nice new babies! You're gonna nurse them back to health in no time.

Cas grinned and started to type a response when a second text popped up.

Dean: you might need to get permission from the city to rezone your house as a protected green space though.

"Assbutt," Cas muttered with a grin, his heart pitter-pattering in his chest.

Cas: they'll be fine. But I have to find a new supplier. I can't keep bringing home plants because the product has fallen off since Roman took over.

Dean: yeah, you said that guy was a real Dick.

Cas snorted.

Cas: hilarious. Don't give up your day job. 😜

Dean: yeah, yeah. You just want me for my hands.

Cas' face reddened, and he was glad he wasn't face-to-face with his best friend. He cleared his throat and shoved away the longing with the ease of long practice.

Cas: speaking of, we still on for tomorrow to get those planters built for the deck?

Dean: way to prove my point, buddy. Lol. Yeah.

Cas sighed and set his phone on the counter, pouring himself a glass of lemonade, then rifling through his fridge for a handful of berries. He washed them carefully and dropped them into his glass. Snipping a couple of mint leaves from his planter over the sink, he rinsed them lightly then pinched them, bruising the leaves before adding them to his drink. Taking a sip, he smiled contentedly.

His phone vibrated again, and he picked it up, flicking the screen awake with a grin to see what Dean had said.

His smile faded into a frown, and he groaned, leaning against the counter in exhaustion.

April: I'm on my way over.

~~

read the rest on AO3.

thanks much to @hectatess for the beta!

[lunmelia]

Alright, I’ve had a good rant with my sister for the past half hour but I still got shit to say and I don’t wanna bother her too much, so here we go. Ignore this, I just want to write my thoughts down and get this shit out of my head and move on.

That finale... was fucking horrible. I think we all know that. I honestly did not expect to be as disappointed as I am. I expected a little bit of disappointment. I expected destiel not going fully canon, what I didn’t expect was THAT fast-paced, stale, not good at all ending. I honestly didn’t. For a show that went for 15 years, was pretty popular for a bit, I did not expect the ending to be that bad. Although I’m not that surprised. Think it just had a reputation for being a bad show, so it makes sense for it to wrap up in a bad way. But maybe I am still a bit surprised. I... really didn’t expect it to be so bad. 

I laughed through the entire thing. I was laughing while Dean was dying. I was laughing while Sam was doing his little sad rounds around the bunker. I was laughing when Dean went to heaven. I was laughing while Sam was dying. I laughed the whole way through. 

I should not have been laughing. 

For a finale for an entire show, it should not have made me laugh as much as it did. What it should’ve done was make me cry and make me feel satisfied. It did not do either of those. I just feel really fucking disappointed. 

That scene with “old Sam” sitting in the impala? A fucking joke. Are you fucking kiddingMEMSJKDHFKHASKGHSJKADGHK I MEAN COME ON! That was fucking hilarious! Man was in a cheap wig from party city, didn’t look like he’d aged a day and yet he was moving as if he was fucking 80??? WHAT THE FUFJCVJHDFHASHGASHGHS that was sooooo bad. so so so bad. 

At one point I started checking the time on my phone and asking the episode to “hurry up already I want this over and done with” but I still fucking watched and I should’ve just left when Dean got impaled. THAT’S HOW HE GOES?? DEAN WINCHESTER? THE RIGHTEOUS MAN?? DIES BY GETTING IMPALED BY A RUSTY METAL ROD?? I’M FUCKING CACKLING 

That whole finale was just comedy gold, it honestly was. 

Aside from that, why was this show bad? This show had no character development. It really didn’t. You know what the only character development I could see was? When Dean said “see that’s not who I am” when Chuck called him the ultimate killer, and even that was revoked when a week later Dean goes running in to decapitate a bunch of vamps. Granted they were kidnapping kids so the fuckers deserved it but still, from a writers point of view they should have included that whole case. (by the way another reason I was laughing during Dean’s death was because, what were the two boys doing?? were they just waiting outside this entire time? traumatized? or did some more vamps come along to kidnap them again and Dean’s death didn’t even fucking matter? What happened to the kids????) 

But there was no character development. Dean started as an alcoholic, hunt-obsessed, rage-filled, codependent man with an abusive father. Where was he in season 15? He drank himself into a black-out after Cas died, he died during a case, he was still raging the entire season, he stayed by his brother’s side and never had the opportunity to grow away from him, and his abusive father is with him in heaven. His horrible, self-destructive coping mechanisms were never addressed upfront, he never got help and he died before he got the chance. From my point of view, he died the exact same man the show started with. No character development for Dean. 

I can’t say that much about Sam because if I’m honest I don’t know him as well as I do Dean and Cas. Maybe someone who knows him better can talk more about his lack of character development. Or maybe he had more than Dean. But to me, same as Dean with the codependency. He stayed by Dean’s side after they were free. And what was the very first thing we learn about Sam at the beginning of the show? Right, that he wanted an independent life away from Dean. Away from hunting. Guess Dean had to die for that to become a reality. 

And Cas? God, Cas’ ending really pissed me off. I kind of don’t want to add personal feelings to this, but for the sake of explaining why I really hate Cas’ . ending, I might have to. As someone who in the past has had to sacrifice myself for the sake of others, Cas’ ending really sucked. I think Cas was my favourite character because I related to him, with the whole constantly sacrificing yourself for others but getting nothing back. And he died for Dean? A man who constantly abused him, mentally and physically? Because he loved Dean? Yeah, that whole thing screamed attached abuse victim to me. Cas started out serving Dean; rescuing him from hell, coming only when he called, dying for him, and how does his story end? Dying for Dean fucking Winchester, who could give nothing but pointless apologies back to him. Frankly, I don’t think Dean deserved to be loved by a celestial being who witnessed the creation of earth. I think the most character development Cas got was when he left the bunker earlier on in the season. And yet he still came back. So that character development was revoked. He should’ve stayed away, honestly. He died doing the same thing he’s always done throughout this show; serving Dean. 

So yes, this show had no character development, And that’s really fucking unsatisfying. Want to know what’s the most disappointing thing about all of this?

This show had... so much potential. 

It really did. First of all, the biggest one being Dean and Cas’ story. If their entire arc had been used in a romantic sense, it honestly would’ve been a great love story. Fuck it, doesn’t even have to been Dean and Cas, but just the story. A man literally rescued by an angel, an arc that goes from bitterness to tolerance to friends to lovers. The man teaching this angel free will, and the angel in return teaching this man to love himself as others love him. That... honestly would’ve been one of the greatest love stories of all time. But it got wasted on fucking Supernatural. So, if someone could write a brand new story that features a similar love arc, that’d be great.

The overall story of Supernatural, too, had so much potential. Two brothers, raised by an abusive father and no mum, both holding bitter feelings towards each other because one of them left. They reunite and learn that they have this big destiny. They say no to that destiny. They confront how they were raised and come to the conclusion that their father was indeed abusive and their lives are shit. They get help. They learn that family doesn’t end in blood. They find family in the friends they make. They confront their codependency with each other and learn to live separately, to not depend on each other so much. They defeat god. They get their happy ending, with their huge family that they made. They’re mentally healthy. That story would’ve been fucking epic, and satisfying. And yet, it got wasted on Supernatural. 

It just... it had so much potential. It could’ve been something great. And yet it had shitty writers and fucking cw as a network. 

So... all of that being said. Think I’m done. Tonight, I watched the first three episodes of The Boys and uhh... I’ll be dedicating my time to that show thank you very much. It’s fucking great you should give it a shot if you haven’t seen it. But uh yeah, that ending sucked ass but at the end of the day it’s a show and I’m moving on. 

OH WAIT ONE MORE THING. 

The award for the greatest, and honestly kinda impressive, queerbaiting goes to SUPERNATURAL!! OH MY FUCKING GOD. THIS SHOW QUEERBAITED THESE TWO CHARACTERS FOR 12 FUCKING SEASONS, LETS ONE OF THEM SAY “I LOVE YOU” DIRECTLY TO THE OTHER, AND ENDS IT THERE!!! NO “HE LOVES HIM BACK / HE DOESN’T” THEY JUST ENDED IT THERE!! THE GREATEST FUCKING QUEERBAITING OF ALL TIME, FOLKS! I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE IT. THEY LET HIM SAY IT! AND THEY STILL!! SOMEHOW FUKING QUEERBAITED US!! AND THEY LET ONE OF THEM SAY IT! BUT IT’S STILL QUEERBAITING!!! IT’S SO FUCKING- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

so anyways peace I’m fucking out

[powerwordcum]

I posted 26,218 times in 2021

50 posts created (0%)

26168 posts reblogged (100%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 523.4 posts.

I added 1,861 tags in 2021

#art - 376 posts

#fave - 302 posts

#mecore - 218 posts

#tma - 190 posts

#nge - 185 posts

#botw - 176 posts

#mp100 - 121 posts

#fma - 115 posts

#me and olivia - 102 posts

#adventure time - 76 posts

Longest Tag: 100 characters

#i feel like u keep your loose change in a quirky container that looks fun like it has a dragon on it

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Just got a job???

4 notes • Posted 2021-11-19 22:32:26 GMT

#4

I want to preface this by saying I love rwby. I love the characters, I love the premise, the kid in me thinks it’s the coolest shit i’ve ever seen and it will always have a special place in my heart. Heck, some of the character design I do is still inspired by it! It’s fun to watch and I’m definitely going to continue keeping up with it. However. I have some major issues with the show itself and with the fandom around it.

I’m a trans, queer, mixed filipino man.

I take issue with the representation in the show.

I take issue with the writing in the show as well, but I’m mostly pissed about the representation, and how the fndm keeps harping on about how it’s the crowning jewel of rep and it’s really not.

there are videos that can explain this better than I can so I’ll link them here,

and here

the first video is the hbomberguy one (YEAH IT WAS A GOOD VIDEO. ACKNOWLEDGE THE SHOW HAS PROBLEMS) the second is by Thomas Vaccaro and talks more about all the racism problems.

if anybody has any other videos like those two, please link them! I want them!

Now to get to the Meat of the issue

It’s really frustrating how the fndm keeps swooning over the One gay couple in rwby and the Implied Maybe Bumblebee. Also shut up about Bumblebee. Love the ship, it’s great. It’s also Not fucking canon yet and it could have already been canon.

( i do love May as trans rep though, they didn’t fuck up with that one. May is great I don’t have complaints about her <3 I am also not a trans woman though, so listen to them!)

I’m mad that there’s no mlm rep and no trans men rep even though we could have had this for years. This show has no network restrictions! Do better!

The poc rep is horrendous. Already linked the videos and I’m Tired.

The worst part is that you guys (fndm) refuse to listen to poc and other queer people when they take issue with rwby! If anyone so much as breathes wrong in the direction of this show, you fall all over yourselves trying to come up with excuses for it! It’s bullshit! I’m so fed up with the fndm at this point, I was thinking about leaving the show for awhile.

basically, the point is to LISTEN when the minorities being badly represented say things! Just listen! You can still like the show, parts of it go really hard! I love the soundtrack, and some of the writing is actually decent! The monsters are cool and the weapons are cool. You know what’s not cool? RACISM.

anyways don’t talk to me if you’re gonna defend the writing of the fucking white fang.

- Charles

4 notes • Posted 2021-01-03 00:19:38 GMT

#3

I got in Dorian Electras 0.1 percent of listeners this year and im really proud i deserve a kiss from them??? 🥺😳💕✨🥰

7 notes • Posted 2021-12-06 23:11:36 GMT

#2

I hate this place i found out the zodiac killee thing from THE FUCKING DESTIEL MEME AAAAAA AAAA

8 notes • Posted 2021-10-06 23:03:14 GMT

#1

Why is undertale so much harder than deltarune i keep dying

11 notes • Posted 2021-12-12 00:40:01 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[worksongdean]

so like this isn’t gonna be coherent at all but bear with me, bc i just watched the bad boys ep for the first time (i’ve been putting it off for Reasons™️) and uhhhhhhh insert that john mulaney “now we don’t have time to unpack ALL of that” meme but like i’m gonna try.

So first things first: John Winchester aka shittiest dad of the millennia. This may be an unpopular opinion but after watching bad boys I can comfortably say that John Winchester is an even worse father than god was. GOD. I was gonna brush over the fact that we all knew which is John probably didn’t even give Dean enough money for food to begin with, BUT upon thinking about it that’s a more important point than it seems because when Dean is first explaining to Sam why he went to a boys’ home he says he lost the money playing cards. Now at first that might just seem like some irresponsible teenage shit, but when you think about it it’s not because Dean was probably playing that card game in the first place because he knew John hadn’t given them enough money so he was trying to get more, but through some bad luck or whatever he ends up losing it instead. That then causes Dean to have to steal food because how else is he going to feed Sam, because let’s face it that boy was not thinking about feeding himself at that point, evidenced by when Sonny confronts Dean about him being hungry after the cop leaves in the first flashback. So then Dean gets caught and when John is told that Dean’s been arrested for stealing food, aka taking care of Sam, aka doing the ONE THING John has been hammering into his head since he was 4 years old, he tells the officer that Dean “can rot in jail”...... WHAT KIND OF BACKWARDS ASS SHITTY ASS PARENTING.....anyway I digress. Now imagine being Dean, 16 years old trying to be a mother and a father to his 12 year old little brother because their actual dad pretty much left them to starve while he was off on some revenge quest, and hearing that said father has abandoned him for doing the one thing he had always taught Dean to do. I know Dean is an emotionally repressed bastard even as a teen, but dear god I wanted him to burst into tears when he heard that. Not because I think he deserves to be upset, but yes I do think he deserves to be upset. Let me explain. I wish Dean never had to go through what he went through, but he deserved to feel upset that his father was gonna let him “rot in jail”, because what kind of a father does that? Dean deserved to feel that pain and heartbreak instead of bottling it all up and pushing it down. Also as an aside because I just remembered, why the hell is the cop (this is a rhetorical question bc cops are shit and it was the 90s) that arrested Dean not suspicious as fuck when this father says his son can “rot in jail” for stealing some bread and peanut butter?

Okay moving on before I become even more unhinged over John Winchester’s shitty parenting. Next I want to talk about Dean’s stay at Sonny’s and what that means to me in light of the finale. So we find out that he only stayed at Sonny’s for 2 months, which I honestly thought he was there for longer but anyways. It’s in that 2 months that we find out just how much Dean thrives in a normal home environment, or as normal as he can get anyway. As we find out in the diner flashback with Sonny, Dean is doing good in school, he’s making friends, and he’s joined the wrestling team which why join a sports (which he is very good at, looking at you championship certificate) team if he doesn’t plan on sticking around but again I digress. Now I know we tend to say that at Dean’s point in life now (bc he’s not dead fuck the finale) he wouldn’t be able to deal with/wouldn’t want the whole apple pie life, but at 16 years old Dean still hasn’t gotten fully entangled in the hunter lifestyle. Dean doesn’t want to be a hunter and for the first time (and probably last time bc I sincerely doubt Dean thought he had actually gotten out with Lisa and Ben), he sees a viable way out. Aside from Sonny’s talk with Dean at the diner, we also see evidence of this in Dean’s flashbacks of him and Robin, especially the one during their guitar lesson. When he and Robin are talking about what they want in life, Dean says he doesn’t want to follow in his father’s footsteps. He dreams of being a rockstar and wants to be a mechanic, a job where once he’s done with the cars (cases) he can let them go and he doesn’t have to worry about carrying them with him when he’s done with them. He dates this girl, he takes cute pictures with her, he wants to take her to a school dance. He begins to settle into a normal life in one place in a way he hasn’t been able to since he was four years old. And it all gets ripped away by his father who abandoned him, who only comes back for Dean when it’s convenient for him, because that’s all he sees Dean as, a soldier, daddy’s blunt instrument. And Dean is devastated that he’s losing his chance at a normal life. We see that he is visibly upset, even if it’s just for a minute before he pushes it away because even though Sonny told him that sometimes he needs to do things for himself, he still needs to take care of Sam.

Which brings me to the finale. God is gone and for the first time in his life Dean gets a true chance at freedom and the chance to live his life the way he wants to. (This is solely about Dean so I’m not even gonna talk about Cas and destiel bc that’s a whole ‘nother post.) In the beginning of the hellscape that is the finale, we see Dean getting to sleep in and waking up to his dog jumping into his bed, we see him go to a pie festival with his brother just because he wants to. With no big bad to chase after he goes to this festival that before would have been a trivial thing, but now it’s something he goes to because he can. Because for the first time in his life he gets to decide what he wants to do with it. And that includes hunting. Like I said before, I doubt Dean would ever be able to completely give up hunting. It’s something he’s good at and he likes helping people. He wants to help people. And if that means the occasional motw hunt between shifts at the garage, because even 25 years later Dean still wants to be a mechanic, then so be it.

Now what really gets on my fucking tits is that while on one of these routine hunts, a “milk run” as Dean would say, something that he has done hundreds, possibly thousands of times before, Dean is killed. This man who has spent his whole life doing what other people wanted, who sacrificed himself over and over again for the people he loved, even when they left him, is killed the second he gets the chance to do what he wants and just live. What’s worse is the fact that this hunt was one of John’s old cases that he failed to solve, because even from the grave John Winchester is still able to ruin his son’s life.

Now aside from the whole “bury your gays” problem, because I firmly believe Dean was killed for being queer, what kind of a message does that send to your audience? That no matter how hard you may work for a good and happy life, no matter how much you may want it don’t you dare think you deserve to have it. Especially if you’re queer, neurodivergent, suicidal, whatever. In the end you’re just a pawn for everyone else in your life

[aceandart]

Hey! I read your recent post and it read differently to a lot of posts under the destiel tag as of now. Personally, I’ve seen the first 5 seasons (watched it about 5 yrs ago), but haven’t been caught up to date on any of the recent stuff other than the Destiel apocalypse that’s happening right now. Could you explain the following?

“...mostly being this show is a misogynistic racist homophobic consent issue-ridden pile of bad writing “.

I was contemplating returning to the show and tuning in for the missing seasons, but what you said about it has now placed me on the fence. Could you elaborate and advise?

Thank you so much! I appreciate seeing an honest post that doesn’t sugar-coat or overlook bad writing/negative characteristics of a show!! :)

[re this]

Hi!

Well, I feel like the finale probably took care of any fence-sitting you were doing (and sorry I couldn't reply sooner), but actually my answer wasn't going to change even if the finale was okay (good, imo, was always a stretch): No, I personally would not recommend watching this show. and while my answer is mostly because of the things I am going to list to answer the rest of this question, I was also going to say - you dropped the show in s5 and that was five years ago? Whatever caused you to drop it in the first place, it probably got a lot worse. (It literally doesn't even matter what your major grievance was, they have since doubled, tripled down in terms of how bad it was.) Trying to marathon through ten seasons (20-23 episodes long each) is hard; trying to marathon through all of that to get something without a satisfactory ending is a lot of emotional labor for no payout. It's not just that this is a bad show (though it really, really is, on every level); it's that you have already tried it, you tried arguably the better seasons of it, and you still didn't want to stick to it. By the nature of how tumblr works, it can make anything look so much better than it is, just because in general the people you see hyping it up *like* the product, have decided to devote their fandom time to it, are highlighting the choicest parts of it. spn was always about the potential around the edges, the story fans made of it; the actual product was always secondary to the could have, should have beens, and this gets truer the later into the show you get. I'm not saying there weren't some great episodes, some great scenes, and even some great mini-arcs, but it was a drop in the bucket to everything else. and I'm positing this answer on the idea that you are asking because you want to watch the show, and not because you want to use the show as a supplemental for your fandom experience, but if it is the latter, I'll just say I'm currently heavily involved in reading fanfic for a fandom I've never actually watched a whole episode for, and while I'm probably missing some context I'm still highly enjoying it. fandom, honestly, so often becomes so much more than the bones we build it on. and if you want a little more, catch some "greatest hits" videos or catch up on just some of the “must-see” episodes and save yourself from having to watch all the moments in-between, because there are a lot more of them than the good parts. very few shows improve as they age out, and before the nov 5th resurgence if you weren't already following spn blogs, likely the main spn meme you were coming across was the annual 'salt and burn this dead horse' that went out after each season renewal. the tl;dr answer is really, it's not worth it. (to be honest, at the end of the day, despite the sheer amount of time, energy, and words I've put into this fandom over the years, and I put in a lot, I didn't actually like the majority of the show. so, you know, grain of salt on my opinion. then again, you left it seasons before I did.) That said, buckle up, cause now I'm gonna tell you why:

Literally, The Shitty Writing

I feel like the finale speaks for this point by itself, but before I get into all the "problematic" bad writing spn does, I want to talk about the fact that the writers are also just fundamentally bad at the craft of writing.

continuity errors. they’d change their lore/creature ability to fit their plot. (the reapers esp got the end of that bad stick.)  the characters will often forget (monster-slaying) solutions that worked before (holy wood, yarrow, christo, creative approaches like exorcisms on recording, spells to remove angels from their vessels, bullet with a devil’s trap, etc).  the writers forgot their own timeline more than once. the random retcons they'd do. sometimes it would also lead to plot holes.

which, speaking of, they had plenty of

there's also things that don't count as plot holes but are very large missed opportunities (ex: Dean spends a year in Purgatory and no one recognizes him? he doesn't bring up his daughter?)

I don't even know what this one would fall under, but if a character wasn't right in front of them, they would forget that character's existence. not just Adam (though that was a big one), but there were so many secondary characters that even in places it would make sense to mention them, much less bring them around, they didn't. or because they would not expand their main character list, characters who should have been around a lot more than they were (*cough* Cas, but that's an easy one, I'm also talking about characters like Kevin) would have these huge gaps between episodes that didn't make sense

they don't really have character development. this isn't to say the brothers don't change, they do, but at the same time the characters face the exact same (internal) arguments over and over again, never resolving or growing from them; they just have more examples when they think about them and it gets worse and more unhealthy because of the new weight added to it. the problem with their brothers only format, and the problem with their biphobia but more on that later, is that Dean wasn't actually allowed to grow out of his John Winchester's son role, to let himself be comfortable (and dare to be happy) with himself because that meant changing the story into something they didn't like and/or didn't know how to do. at the same time, allowing Sam to grow meant breaking the Brothers Only format, because as the show stated multiple times, Sam's happy ending did not involve hunting.

and with that, they sometimes flattened the characters so badly they became caricatures more than anything else.  hell there's a whole season where Dean goes evil, and people had a hard time realizing it, which was not because it was a subtle slow descent but because shitty pacing, uneven (and contradictory) episodes, previous actions that weren't written as being evil but were the the exact same thing as when he was evil that were supposed to be "signs", and how they chose to represent that evil meant it was really hard to figure out that was what they were doing and not just writing Dean as more of an asshole than they previously were.  (he's not evil, he's just a prick.) and I don't mean I had trouble telling, I mean fandom as a whole had major arguments about it, much less the general viewing public.

the series finale put a definite end to the idea they would follow through on even one of their main series themes (family don't end in blood, free will vs destiny, always keep fighting, etc), but this was something they would build up to addressing and then just anti-climatically let fizzle out in multiple seasons. character and relationship themes (not just destiel but the brothers co/counter-dependency, the importance of found family, Dean's growth from Daddy's Blunt Little Instrument and Sam's acceptance that he deserves better/agency in his own life, etc) would be built and broken down in an effort to drag the question out into another season. it wasn't two steps forward, one step back, it was a reboot.

their filler vs arc episode ratios: there's nothing wrong with the Monster of the Week format as a stylistic choice, but this show

a) would kill its own plot momentum to focus on MotW episodes. [part of this is the general spn problem they created of constantly trying to one-up their season's Big Bad, which I understand but also means one episode they are going against The Most Powerful Being in Existence (for the Fifth Time) and then rather than focus on that world-ending threat, they hunt vampires for like six episodes straight. they had a very bad balance where rather than continuously weave the larger arc into the season, or at least build characters and relationships, they'd jam it all around the season premiere, finale, and mid-season finale/premiere episodes, and then all the rest was just, bullshit cases where nothing got resolved or had a lesson stick around for the next episode, making them very skippable. also more on this under the homophobia section]

b) the filler episodes contradicted themselves and the main plot all the time.

c) sometimes they focused so much on making the b-plot a mirror they forgot to write a coherent a-plot. also: sometimes they focused so much on making the b-plot a mirror they forgot to write a coherent b-plot. 

I cringed my way through more than one episode of dialogue

the recycled plots

more on this in the next sections, but either they didn't notice, actively didn't care, or purposefully chose to overtly and subtly imply or state a bunch of really fucked up things, and then never address them at all

speaking of never addressing anything, I realize this is a fandom vs canon battle in general, but so many things get swept under the rug as they move on to the next issue (ex: Dean put an angel in Sam's body to "heal him", violating his consent and exasperating his issue with telling what reality is - a huge issue from previous season - and once the Mark of Cain story really took over the subject gets dropped.) 

death is so cheap on this show. and I don't just mean that the revolving doorway of resurrections means it's hard to get worked up about a death because (as long as the character was a white man and especially the brothers) there was a high chance they'd be back, and I don't just mean that their Murder Is the First, Last, and Best Solution to Any Issue, Ever means the faceless and not so faceless hoards of villains, monsters, and humans who get caught up in it are just hand waved as one of those things (they have ways of saving vessels and the later into the show the less likely they are to even try), but that there was no point in investing in (esp non-white, male) secondary characters because chances were they'd be dead pretty fast.  I'm honestly shocked characters like Jody (who actually at one point was in the middle of being killed off on-screen and then we didn't see her for eight episodes, so we assumed she was dead) made it until the end.

(speaking of dead characters though, what was with the habit of bringing them back constantly? just don't kill them in the first place! create new ones and let those ones stick around instead!)

when they can't use death as their solution, the other answer the writers fall back on is Deus Ex Machina

buckleming were a writing duo who had their own bingo cards that included things like shitty pacing, OOC-ness, flat one-liners, etc, and the question wasn't if you'd get bingo, it was a question of how often you got it during their episodes. at some point throughout the show, it became hard to tell what was a buckleming episode and what was just another episode in the season.  aka the writing quality went WAY DOWN as a whole

you know the tv trope Idiot Ball? or Idiot Plot?  spn should have it's own page for both. 

they constantly break viewer's trust, which is the basic tenet of what not to do when it comes to telling a story. (again, not just destiel, though the queerbaiting is a major part of it because it happened all the time to avoid actually answering that question.) when a writer violates their character's or story's core identity for a 'twist', it needs to have been carefully built so that it's a surprise to the viewer, not a betrayal. (you may not have seen it coming, but when you look back you can see the groundwork.) these writers, every time, chose the "shocking" choice regardless of how much they need to break canon or character to do so. their twists are either obvious, and/or they don't make sense with the rest of their story/lore of the show, and the viewer is left feeling stupid for believing they have more respect for the audience/characters than they do.

I realize this is pretty subjective, but huge swaths of it are just boring. fandom made the experience of watching it interesting, not the show itself.

and yet, for all of that, the quality of writing (while painful to have to sit through) was not the worst thing about it.

(note for the following: I stopped watching after s11, but I'm sure some if not all of these are still relevant until the very end)

Misogyny and Consent Issues: Is There a Limit? Signs Point to No

there is honestly so much under this topic I don't even know where to start. i'm going to focus on patterns rather than specific incidences, because otherwise I'll be writing this for a week, but just know I can easily provide examples of all of these because this is literally what I spent years writing meta on.

female characters were more likely to die quicker/earlier (esp vs other other male characters with similar reoccurring roles/characterizations), stay dead, and die often at the hands of their loved ones and/or in Stranger Danger situations. they died for man!pain. they died for fodder. they died as a sacrifice. they were turned into love interests (whether that was their original role or not) and then killed. they were put in mortal danger and then not given resolution for several episodes (Schrödinger's death.) they died in ways we've seen male characters survive. their deaths - the violence enacted on them - was constantly, consistently sexualized, and the camera lingered.

when it came to villains the show would go out of its way to kill the female one first, or act like she's the more pressing issue so that the male character could hang around longer (and honestly by male character I often mean specifically Crowley and the season's female villain. not only that but they'd often break canon to kill off a female character, and break canon to save Crowley/a male character)

when you compare the treatment of reoccurring female characters vs male characters who occupied either similar roles or characterizations, female characters were often punished and/or treated poorly for the same attitude and/or actions of their compared male character, who often got not just a (free) pass, but more screen time, dialogue, and development

they have more than once used the story line of underage girl seducing a grown man. (it was a whole season arc even.) this is esp galling when you find out about crew member Jim Michaels, who sexually harassed and assaulted (minor) fans

(btw, not the only crew/cast member to do so! and still be invited to cons!)

Dean Winchester (who is narratively treated as the moral judgement for the show) has blamed more than one rape victim for their assault/trauma. they often get abused (or outright killed) for stopping their abuser. 

Dean is ok with flirting with/leering at barely legal teenage girls. already sketchy when he's 26, really gross when he's in his mid/late thirties 

speaking of Dean. based on past personal experience I'm going to say up front people do not like me saying this, but that doesn't mean what I'm saying is wrong or even based on interpretations: Dean has more than one relationship that if it isn't rape, falls under extreme dubious consent.

there's actually a lot of rape (or "extreme dubious consent") and assault/molestation, both shown and mentioned: Cas and April, the cases were men take away free will and then have sex with the women (Ben Edlund was one of the better writers of series and even he did this a couple of times), Crowley orgy (and demon sex in general), random women in some episodes, Sam and meta!Gen, Becky and Sam, Sam and Lucifer, Dean and Alastair, several monsters (like the siren) and their victims, male characters secretly watching female characters undress/be naked, and so on. Dean was often attacked sexually by men, Sam by women. most of this is never addressed, never treated like what it is, and/or is made into a joke

and there's even more rape jokes beyond that, sub-sections: prison, vessels/demons, angel possession, sex work, childhood abuse, monster of the week, sexuality, etc.  huge chunks if not whole episodes were devoted to making what amounted to a rape joke. 

often ignored non-sexual consent (esp Dean’s actions, including a lot of mind-wiping and violations of body autonomy)

everything about Sam and body autonomy - he is frequently violated (multiple characters have possessed him; he is fed demon blood); how he feels unclean, how he feels disconnected from his own body, how he often is forced to act outside of his control and then blamed for those decisions

actually, Cas goes through that a lot too; he is trained, brainwashed, and forced to do things without his consent, and goes through major depressive episodes because of it

this show has a pattern of girls who are kidnapped, (sexually abused), raised in isolation, and expected to develop some perfect moral compass of acceptable behavior and were then killed off when they didn't. meanwhile, male characters get fourth, fifth chances.

female characters (and I'm talking about ones with speaking roles, who play an actual part in the plot, who are sometimes in multiple episodes) are more likely to be unnamed or given no last name

are you a Mother on spn (as in, that's your role)? you're either fridged for man!pain or abusive or both

it rarely could pass the bechdel test (including in s9 don't believe those fandom lies), and that's including episodes that focused on female characters. if the test included that the characters have to be named, that (small) number probably gets cut in half. if that test included both women are alive at the end...  

female monsters prove they deserve to live by killing off their family to prove they're the "good kind"  (this is not necessary for male monster characters)

female characters are not allowed to get vengeance

they took the Virgin vs Whore dynamic (and that that's all women are), and devoted a whole episode to it, but in general it underlines of ton of interactions, esp with regards to Dean and women.  {I actually never got around to writing it, but women tended to fall into four main classifications on this show, though overlap definitely allowed: Victim [sub-categories: Fodder, (Dean) Mirror, Mother], Love Interest, Sex Object, and Villain/Obstacle. very few female characters were either allowed to outgrow their category or didn't start in one.} 

we see the male characters assault female characters but it's okay because [insert supernatural reason here], ignoring that whatever explanations for why it's being allowed, we are still visually being shown this violence against women, and often from our "heroes"  (the women are then tossed away from the narrative after the violence and again, their aftermath gets regulated to off-screen who cares)

female characters were only allowed to be "so badass"; female hunters often fought female monsters or they lost/got regulated to the sidelines in battles. this gets even more contrasted as a male character/hunter will often do a nod about how "badass" she is, even as she is very easily beaten.

 the whorepobia of this show

had a tendency to strip female characters down to their underwear/make them nude before torturing them, and then adding sexualized torture on top of that

outside of actor injuries affecting this (like one of them broke his arm so he had a sling for a few episodes), female characters are often more likely to visually carry the bruises/violence of violent incidences much longer than male characters

gratuitous filming shots of breasts, asses

the use of the words: bitch, skank, whore, slut; the play on words they do so they can say "pussy"  

taking female myths/figures and reducing them to a cheap, sexist storyline (Amazons, Artemis, Lilith, Eve, witches - who are only allowed to live/be "good" if they're men, and are otherwise in league with demons/are evil and lose)

they often kept a character but switched out her actress; helps with the disposable feeling

how they treat women's ages (ex: Jody is not allowed to be a love interest to Sam because she's older than him/calling Dean 'kiddo'. ex: Rowena is played by a woman fifteen years younger than Crowley's actor. ex: Amara being one of the oldest things in existence but still having to age her way up.)

their treatment of teenage girls, ranging from how they sexualized them to expecting them to save themselves to treating them like they are grown adults and not children to the way they kept killing the ones who posted selfies to the fact the pr more than once used the tag "teenage girls - the scariest thing ever" for Claire's episodes 

actions and lasting legacies by female characters often got erased or passed on to male characters instead

it's a time honored tradition to treat certain monsters as metaphors for things. specifically for spn, they often use werewolves and vampires for sexual assault. (not the first to do so, not the last to do so.) however, that part of it gets textually glossed over, or treated as a joke, more often than not

and for all the patterns I talk about above, there's plenty of other one-off examples of misogyny/sexism or consent issues/rape culture this show did. like that time a grown man sniffed the bra of a dead teenage girl. not for any reason, just because it was there and that's what dudes do, apparently.

Racism: All the Flavors(+ Bonus Sexism)

when you compare the treatment of reoccurring white characters vs characters of color who occupied either similar roles or characterizations, characters of color were often punished and/or treated poorly for the same attitude and/or actions of their compared white character, who often got not just a (free) pass, but more screen time, dialogue, and development. 

usually Black men but in general men of color: 

a) got humiliated (often using feminization or infantilization) before their death  

b) had a more violent death; had a death that visually echoed racism (lynching, shot in the back, etc)

c) often used (racialized) rhetoric that in the real world is used against them

d) often filmed in ways to highlight their physicality, to portray them animalistically, to dehumanize them

e) even when victims, will add context to make them partially responsible for their death

characters of color were the villains or antagonists, very rarely "good guys"

this was a very white show, and while I'm speaking about speaking roles, reoccurring characters, and characters who get their own arcs, I'm also talking about background characters

using lore from groups they should not have and/or turned creatures into racist caricatures

having white actors play characters they shouldn't have

heavily depended on stereotypes for their characters of color

the treatment (esp narrative empathy level) of white angels vs angels of color.  again, screen time and character development differences between the two

a summary of (East) Asian woman on this show: fetishized porn/sexualized, “tiger mom”, Yoko Ono/The Girlfriend, monster. they were often silent or had no dialogue. microaggressions (usually spoken by Dean) were leveled at them.

antisemitism (styne issue, erasure of the Judah Initiative, Lilith, the golem)

like the sexism, just had random racist lines or visuals throughout the show (and sometimes those came in the absence of who should be there); some groups literally did not have enough characters to make a pattern, which is why this section looks a lot shorter than it really is

like for ex, I'm trying to stick with patterns but seriously, they put a Black woman in a dog collar and said her white boyfriend was her master/that she belonged to him

the ignorance of how white privilege worked to make them palatable

the replacement and/or elevation of a white character over a character of color (Lisa over Cassie, Bobby over Missouri, Charlie over Kevin in terms of how they were treated under Found Family, etc) 

how they treated non-Christian Gods: easily killed, evil, weak. they often repackaged them into a Christian framework and made them lesser than.

Bi/Homophobia, Queerbaiting, and Using Fans

they butchered Charlie.  they killed her, they killed her in a way that involved leaving behind plot, characters, and logic to do so, they killed her and used the violence of it for "shock," they butchered her and stuck her in a bathtub.  the guy who wrote Charlie in every other episode (Robbie Thompson, one of the better writers of the show) didn't write her last episode (assumption: because he wouldn't) and then he arguably left the show over her death. at one of the cons (comic-con?) the cast literally turned their backs when a fan questioned Carver (the showrunner) about what he did because they wanted no part of it. there was a mass exodus of fandom after they killed her (and another portion actually hung around because they got destiel queerbaited to stick out the rest of the season, and then they left.) she was un-apologetically queer, she was found family, she was widely popular, and they killed her for no reason at all. they didn't just Bury The Gay (their only reoccurring one), they salted and burnt the ground

they spent over a decade queerbaiting Destiel. they built queerbaiting destiel into the structure of the show: season opening/first couple of episodes whetted the appetite, which they then backed away from (usually removing Cas from Dean's physical area) and around this time they'd usually have some kind of heterosexual love interest, then mid-season they'd have some room to be together and share feelings, Cas would again disappear but this time they'd have some bi!Dean thrown in to keep you going, a few episodes before the end they'd have a major connection moment (I need you, I love you), and then the season would end with something to keep destiel fans occupied with during summer. it was never a trajectory, it was a cycle; just enough for plausible deniability but more than enough for fans to believe in. they had whole seasons where the b-plot were mirrors for destiel. they tried to sell DVDs by promising destiel cut scenes. they'd remove Cas from huge chunks of episodes just because they didn't want destiel interacting in the same physical space. they filmed them (I'm talking camera angles, physical positioning, etc) romantically.  (and sometimes, someone on crew/the network would accidentally reveal how not-fucking-happening destiel would be, and then backtrack when they realized fandom’s uproar.) 

a) Dean was only allowed to care so much for Cas, the narrative would only give him so much room to mourn/miss him. (Sam too.) it's beyond my general complaint that the writers/bros lose all interest in a character if they are not right in front of them (if they even cared when they were), but specifically they will spend episodes talking about how Cas is family, how much they care, and then because Dean and Cas cannot share the screen they come up with asinine reasons to remove Cas, which means Dean/the bros do not help him on his issues, and he is cast adrift until they need him, a push/pull of show vs tell with contradictory answers but made a lot of Cas/Destiel fans argue Cas deserved better.  

b) they also devoted seasons to the (subtextual) love triangle of Dean/Cas/Crowley. (I wish I was fucking kidding)

c) "you construct intricate rituals which allow you to touch the skin of other men": the way they use violence to supplement affection (which is actually a larger pattern with Dean and his loved ones in general, but specifically the show is willing to show - multiple times - Dean and Cas being violent (often with an arguably sexualized filming to it) in conjunction with or as replacement for expressing their care.)  other side of this: hugging/physical affection outside of the shoulder/hand thing is reserved for escaping or coming back from death, if then (and it took seasons and a few deaths to even get that.) 

d) "buddy"  

that time Dean was allowed to be textually attracted to his mother and a literal dog (who was visually made to be very clearly a girl dog), but his attraction to men always stays subtextual and/or treated as a joke

they spent the whole show queerbaiting bi!Dean. aside comments, checking out other guys, getting flustered by men he finds attractive, metaphors, mirror characters, the heterosexual overcompensation [which is different from but comes from a similar place of the macho compensation to counteract how he gets sexualized/feminized], everything with Cas and how they play that relationship romantically and with sexual attraction, the character development that led to his relaxation of his macho compensation coinciding with increasing subtextual readings of his bisexuality (and domesticity), the inspiration for his name/character is bi, his relationship to Charlie and the pattern of fictive kinship, etc etc.  

why are angels straight???? why do they have gender???? (why are they interested in sex???)  minus the queerbaiting of destiel, they spent a lot of seasons pushing Cas into a heterosexual box. other angels were often pushed into heterosexual boxes too. (or left in subtext and then killed.) closest we got to playing with gender was Raphael and maybe Hannah, and at least with Raphael it was not without its issues. (also: both dead.)

random transphobic lines

homosexuality was often treated like a joke/punchline. queer characters/scenes were often treated like a joke/punchline.

outside of Charlie, queer characters were small, two-bit roles, extremely rare, and often killed

how they treated and showcased fandom space and esp queer fans in-show (much less how they treated them in real life), comes from a deeply sexist and homophobic place 

The Show Was 328 Episodes Long And the thing is, these are the four big categories, but it's not like this is it. The show flip-flops on calling John an abusive parent/that the bros are childhood abuse survivors. The show doesn't even really call out when Dean is being abusive to Sam, and the way they always, always go back to the Brothers Only format means they are often ignoring or straight-up forgetting the unhealthy aspects of their relationship. The show ignores how their trauma builds (and all the things that happen because of it), disconnecting the current issues with the ones that came before. The way they flip flop on monster morality and never address what the winchester bros do to people who happen to be monsters but aren't evil (or definitely aren't as evil as they are).  How violence is always the answer. How the "saving people'' part of hunting got dropped the later the show goes on, and red shirt vessels/hosts die in droves. Depending on how you view it, the way they treat alcoholism and addiction. The ableism. The line between the narrative's opinion on acceptable violence and not is inconsistent and dependent on how much they like the character doing the violence vs who the violence is being done to. Etc.

(The above lists are definitely missing stuff. I haven't done anything in this fandom in like four years, I've forgotten a lot.) I'm not saying people didn't enjoy this show. I'm not saying I didn't enjoy (parts of) this show. I'm saying whether you are basing it on things like writing craft or things like 'social justice issues', this show is bad. It is of poor quality. I really don't know how to explain the hold it has on people, how a show can be charismatic, how fandom was able to squeeze so much out of so little, but that's probably what's got you attracted into the idea of watching it again. If you're thinking of watching it because you want a coherent, well done story, look elsewhere. The finale was the literal last straw, not the only one. 

[unkemptcastiel]

SPN Finale

I try to limit w/ank on this blog so in the midst of reblogging posts that share my discontentment for the series ending, I don't want to end this show on sole negativity, because it means so much to me. So I'm gonna sum up my feelings on the ending, good and bad. Then I’m going to try to focus on having fun, reblogging memes and reliving good memories with the show and the fandom. 

Good:

As far as the show has communicated, everyone is happy. Dean, Sam, Bobby, Rufus, John & Mary, Cas, all apparently happy. Yay!

I like that heaven's walls were taken down. That's something that never felt right to me and seemed indicative of heaven's problems in general- like the fact that everything was so harshly ordered to the point of isolating humans in farces of happiness-bubbles of recreated memories, that all just felt a bit fake and like a symptom of the larger problem of how angels viewed and treated humans. So I'm happy they changed that! :)

I like Betty as new Death.

OH I also liked the brief re-intro of the two archangels. It may have been a little wasted, (but this is the positivity section!) but it was a dynamic I wanted to see for ages. Also lucifer calling michael a cuck: Amazing.

I'm glad Jack didn't die. He's my son and I love him.

Also the thing with the dog & chuck.. pure comedy gold. Amazing.

Confusing:

I'm a little confused what happens to the dimensional "repeat" characters, like.. are there two bobby's chilling next door to each other in heaven, of bobby and apocalypse-world bobby? It's not a huge issue it just wasn't really addressed.

I'm also wondering if angels are basically extinct now? Like Cas is apparently ok but last we heard there were like 7 whole angels left. How's that goin. Hello?

I'm assuming hell is operating per usual? It's been a while since we've seen Rowena but I think she's still running things. A little unsure of where the balance lies between heaven and hell just due to how decimated the angels are.

I'm assuming Jody, and Alex, and Claire and all them are good? Would've liked a check-in of some sort on the recurring characters tbh. There was a lot of me and my friend asking "... So what happened to them?" about side characters who we never really got any goodbye for.

Also same with Amara being kinda written off.

Speaking of, was the woman Sam ended up with Eileen?? It was unclear to me. If not, I wish they would've mentioned her; she's a character I care about a lot.

Bad (Let’s say “Critique”):

The shows writing has dipped each season imo, and this season often felt particularly hollow. I'm not quite sure how to better communicate it beyond... The way it was shot, the dialogue, every behind-the-scenes choice just felt... Off. It was very off-putting, all season for me.

The "Destiel" thing: I’m sorry, it still felt queerbaiting. I'm queer myself but I've never personally really shipped destiel, nor any ship amongst the main trio. So, while not being very invested in a romantic form of Dean+Cas's relationship, I still felt that the confession was used more as a last-minute ploy to attract queer fans who may have since left the show, or in some attempt to make everyone happy, make it ambiguous so both queer and het fans wouldn't feel like their understanding of dean & cas was infringed on. I understand that, from a show-ending perspective, especially from a show that owes so much to its fans, that they'd want to please everybody. Unfortunately, queer representation is still lacking enough that anything outside of clear, unambiguous GAY that no one could argue is anything else, is still sort of regressive and potentially harmful to the LGBTQ+ community. So it ended up feeling like a throw-away, last-minute-gays but still semi-hetero cop-out situation, sadly. (I also think the release of the script was very deliberate in stressing that Dean cannot reciprocate whatever feelings Cas has. It communicated to me "MAYBE a non-human character could be ambiguously-maybe-queer but one of the two leads? Absolutely not.")

On that note --perhaps as a result of the confession scene-- the boys' relationship with Cas felt really weird in the end. For someone they've known and fought with for 12 years, the idea that they wouldn't even look for a way to save him ... It felt OOC, painting Dean and Sam as kind of heartless. I also feel that having Cas saved off-screen and never reappearing on-screen was generally.. a little disrespectful to Misha. His performance of Castiel literally changed the show for the rest of its run (if you're unaware, he was supposed to have a few episodes in s4 and that's it. His performance floored fans so much that he was signed on as a recurring character and eventual series main). So treating him as an afterthought felt callous, both in-show-universe and out here in the real world, show business-wise.

I don't care that Dean was killed by "a nail." I don't care lol. As long as the character didn't die of dysentery or something it doesn't read as stupid or humiliating, imo. I saw it and was like "ye shit happens." And Sam left to live a normal life- Good! My boy’s happy. 

My primary issue with how Dean & Sam's lives and deaths went was this:

They make the entire show seem pointless.

To explain: the way that Sam and Dean's lives were going before the events of the pilot were: Dean is hunting primarily on his own, Sam is lined up to live a normal and happy life and eventually start a family of his own. It is discussed many times early-seasons that Dean expects to die early, due to the dangers of hunting, even though it is revealed that he also deeply wants a safe and happy life, he feels it is unattainable. Sam loves his family, but just wants out, and is getting to have that. 

Usually in fiction, if an arc is set up then change is to occur to resolve the arc in a new and hopefully better place than it was originally. 15x20 however, looked at s1 Dean and Sam and said "Yep you guessed it exactly right." In-universe, their lives were on these paths once Sam left and went to college, which was a pre-pilot event. The "inciting incident" of the show, which acts as the pilot and which causes the rest of the show to happen in the first place, is Sam leaving his path for normality and returning to hunting. By ending this show with Dean dying on a hunt like he always expected, and Sam leaving to live a normal life with a family like he always originally planned: this arc is negated. We’re basically put right back in a pre-pilot spn world.

This ending was all already lined up to happen pre-pilot. This was ALREADY going to be their lives before the show ever started in 2005-- as a result, the show's events were just a bunch of messiness and conflict in the middle; but spn still ended for the boys the way it would have if basically all the events of the show 2005-2020 just never happened.

So it makes the show seem superfluous, and to me as a viewer it felt insulting because it felt like we ended right where we started, or we went backwards, and it implied that it was a waste of time to even watch the show if it was always going to end the same no matter what events transpired in between. THAT'S what upset me by this ending.

tl;dr: The show's writing felt rushed, confused, and emotionally hollow. As such, we didn't get to see much on the many side characters we care about, which was disappointing. The disappearance of Cas made him seem insignificant and the way each brother's life went was exactly as they were going before the events of the pilot, thus their lives were filled with extra needless pain and turmoil before ending the way they always expected, making the entirety of the show's events and its existence seem useless. Because I loved these characters and invested near a decade into them, this feels insulting to me on the characters' behalf, and on my own behalf as a viewer. That's my issue with the 15x20 ending.

However, I still take more positivity out of this show as a whole than negativity. I’m grateful it even existed in the first place, and that is what I want to try to focus on. 15x20 is one episode. Are there more episodes I dislike? Sure. But they are still a minority in a show that will hold my love for.. the forseeable future. So to every fan, those who disliked the ending and those who loved it, you’re valid, I’m glad I got to know some of you, & 

[honeypiehotchner]

i found an old destiel thing i wrote based off a prompt i saw on here

and i’m trying to clean out some stuff so here! have it :)

Mr. Novak is a relatively quiet teacher.

When he lectures, his voice is loud enough to hear, but soft enough so that he doesn't yell – he hates to raise his voice at anyone. When he talks to a student, he often bends down to their height because he doesn't want to seem overpowering. He hardly ever calls a student's parents, unless the situation is entirely serious and he is the only one who can make the phone call – often times he leaves it up to the assistant principal in charge of behavior.

So, the kids enjoy his class. Mr. Novak teaches English: a quiet subject fit for a quiet man. He allows his students as much freedom as he possibly can, so long as they do their work and turn it in before the deadline.

The students don't know much about Mr. Novak, and neither do his fellow coworkers. Some are aware that he's married, but only a select few who found out because Mr. Novak let it slip one day at a meeting. He had said, "My husband—" and stopped himself before he said more, but his coworkers had already known, and his fiery red face was enough confirmation on its own.

Mr. Novak – or rather, Castiel – has kept his marriage a secret for reasons other than he is a private, reserved man. Castiel is married to Dean Winchester.

The name might seem ordinary to some, but Dean is an extremely popular YouTube star that many teenagers watch. There have been countless instances when students will walk into Mr. Novak's class with a shirt that Dean sells on his website, and Mr. Novak will smile down at his shoes, not saying a word.

One day, though, Mr. Novak is trying his hardest to lecture about a short story he had his students read over the semester break. He is continuously interrupted by giggling in the back corner of the room, that he desperately tries to ignore, but as it persists, he takes action.

Quietly, while still lecturing about the main protagonist, Mr. Novak walks to the back of the class, spotting two girls with their heads right next to one another, sharing a pair of headphones. On the phone is a video, and Mr. Novak nearly rolls his eyes. Too often he catches these girls watching some show on Netflix while he tries to teach.

As he gets closer, though, he sees it is not their usual Netflix show.

The video on the girl's phone is one of Dean's videos. Mr. Novak recognizes it immediately. He was sitting behind the camera, making sure it stayed in focus while simultaneously grading essays and listening to Dean ramble about the 'Never Have I Ever' game he was playing. Castiel smiles fondly at the memory, but then remembers where he is.

As he holds his hand out to take the girl's phone, he hears one of them say, "I wonder what kind of car he drives."

Mr. Novak sighs dramatically. "Do not ever get Dean Winchester started on his car," He begins. "He will never shut up."

The girls suddenly look up, their eyes wide in shock. Shock because Mr. Novak knows who Dean Winchester is? And shock because Oh, dammit, we've been caught...again.

The girl hands over her phone and headphones quietly, earning a nod from Mr. Novak for cooperating and not making a huge scene like some others tend to do. He walks back to the front of the room, picking back up on his lecture about the protagonist's actions and how they drove the story.

He makes a mental note to tell Dean about this later.

+++

When Castiel arrives home after a long and tiring school day, Dean is waiting for him in the living room with his camera set up on the tripod, along with his microphone and lighting equipment. Dean is getting ready to film Friday's video.

Dean stands from the couch, wrapping his tired husband in a bear hug and pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He knows Castiel loves teaching, but sometimes he wonders if it is all worth it. It seems to drain him so much.

"You're endlessly warm," Cas mutters into Dean's neck, pressing a soft kiss there before sighing deeply and letting his eyes flutter closed.

Dean chuckles, the sound rumbling in Cas's ear like Baby's engine. "You're endlessly freezing."

This time Castiel laughs, pushing away from the hug to press his lips sweetly against Dean's. Dean smiles into the kiss, forever loving the way it feels to kiss his husband after a long day. It melts their tensions and worries away far better than any whiskey or beer. It's refreshing, really.

Later at dinner, Dean asks, "How was your day?"

It's the typical question Cas hears at the dinner table because Dean always knows that at least one adventurous thing happens in the classroom every day. He will never admit it, but he's glad when the students bring up his videos or watch them around Cas, even if it annoys his husband to no end. Dean adores the way Cas rolls his eyes, grumbling about how the kids don't pay attention and that it's all Dean's fault for being so attractive and likable.

This time, Cas does have a story, and he tells Dean every detail.

"I froze when I saw it was your video," Cas laughs lightly. "One of them asked what car you drive."

Dean raises an eyebrow curiously, but his smile is looking rather amused. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Castiel shrugs, using his fork to push around some of the English peas on his plate. "I told them not to ask. Because you won't shut up."

Dean gasps loudly, trying to feign offense, but he can't because he begins laughing too much.

It isn't often that Cas lets a small bit of information slip, so this is rare and almost hysterical. Not as hilarious as the time he called Dean during lunch in a frenzy because he accidentally laughed at a meme, and then the kids started asking him how he knew about it.

Dean thinks it's silly – how Cas has never told his students that he's married to the Dean Winchester, but Castiel always says, "It just...never comes up." He also argues that it isn't their business who he's married to because he's their teacher, to which Dean always laughs and brings Cas in for a kiss because, "Yeah, whatever you feel is right, honey."

After dinner, Dean realizes he should probably go back to filming Friday's video. He and Cas got caught up in deciding on dinner, and then making dinner, while simultaneously dancing around the kitchen to old Beatles' records, so the video never got filmed.

"Hey, babe?" Dean calls out from his spot on the couch.

His husband comes walking back into the living room with a stack of papers and two red pens, his eyebrows raised in response to Dean's call.

"Wanna film a video with me?"

Castiel stares at his husband tiredly. Too many times Dean has asked Castiel to film a video with him, and too many times Cas has turned him down.

"Dean..."

"C'mon," Dean begs, patting the space next to him on the couch. "We can do a cheesy boyfriend tag—"

"But I'm not your boyfriend," Cas deadpans.

"Fine, husband tag—"

"Dean."

"Oh, c'mon, Cas, I'm sure there's one out there we can find. It'll be fun—"

"Dean."

Dean finally stops himself, smiling sheepishly. "Yeah?"

Cas settles on the couch next to Dean, the essays still in his lap with the pens resting on top. He tilts his head in confusion. "Why d'you want me to film a video so bad?"

"I dunno," Dean mumbles, slinging his arm around Cas's shoulders. He leans his head on his husband's, sighing softly. "I just kinda want to film one. I don't even have to post it. It...it can be just for us. Or until you're ready, whenever that may be."

Cas turns his head, staring at his husband with narrowed eyes. "Just for fun?"

Dean smiles brightly, nodding. "Yeah. Just for fun."

Cas shakes his head, not believing that he's going to go through with this. "Fine," He finally says, scooting the essays off to the side enough that they'll be out of the frame entirely.

Dean hops up from the couch and goes over to the camera, pressing record with a shit-eating grin on his face. Cas raises an eyebrow at him, shaking his head. I can't believe I married him. He's such a nerd.

"Say hi, honey," Dean muses with a laugh as he walks back to his spot on the couch.

Cas swats Dean with a pillow when he sits back down, earning a loud laugh out of his husband.

"Alright, alright, we do have to do an intro, though," Dean chuckles. "So do you wanna like...walk in after I call for you, or just like be sitting here already."

"We should've figured this out before we started filming."

"Yeah, yeah, Mr. Grumpy-pants," Dean grins. "D'you wanna come in or not?"

"I'm already here," Cas shrugs, "I'll just stay."

"Okay," Dean breathes, slinging his arm around Cas's shoulders. "Hey guys, I'm back with an entirely new face," He pauses to glance over at Cas sitting next to him shyly, leaning into his embrace. "This is my husband, Castiel."

Cas waves, smiling at the camera, "Hey."

"You're so cute," Dean says sincerely, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Cas's cheek.

Cas grins, shoving his husband away anyway. "Dean, we're filming a video. No PDA."

"I'll edit it out," Dean shrugs, leaning forward and pressing a kiss directly on Cas's mouth.

Cas melts into it, unable to help himself, before his common sense kicks in and he breaks away from the kiss, deciding last minute to fully jump into the video.

"So we're gonna be doing the Boyfriend Tag, but since we're not boyfriends anymore, we're calling it the Husband Tag."

They go through answering typical questions like:

Where did you meet?

"We actually met at a grocery store," Dean laughs at the memory.

"True story," Cas chuckles in embarrassment. "I was trying to reach for my cereal--"

"Cheerios," Dean supplies with a serious nod.

Cas raises an eyebrow, giggling. "Yeah, Cheerios, and I was obviously struggling. I wanted the Family Size box on the top shelf, but couldn't quite reach it. He came over like a true heroine and grabbed it for me, though."

"Didn't I like...write my number down on your arm or something?"

"Oh yeah!" Cas grins stupidly, turning to the camera. "We met way before cellphones were popular, so this idiot wrote his number on my arm."

"You still called me, though."

"It was hard not to when your number was glaring at me in Sharpie on my forearm every second of the day." Castiel stares at Dean tiredly but eventually breaks into a grin.

Who said 'I love you' first?

"Guilty." Dean raises his hand as Cas immediately points to him. "On accident, though. We hadn't even been dating, what, a month?"

Cas nods in confirmation. "I think it was like our one month or something, yeah."

"And I just...he made a joke, and it slipped out," Dean trails off, scratching the back of his head.

"It's okay, though. I said it back. He looked too flustered and embarrassed already."

Dean gasps. "You said it out of pity for me?"

"You said it on accident!" Castiel counters, again swatting Dean lightly with a pillow.

What's one thing you wish the other didn't do?

"Oh, so like pet peeves," Cas says with a small nod, beginning to think.

"Well, I wish you wouldn't work yourself to death," Dean says seriously.

Cas smiles sadly. "You too, y'know. But pet peeves. Something funny. Oh!" Cas then grins like a maniac. "I wish to God you would stop leaving your dirty underwear in the bedroom floor. Like seriously? The laundry basket is right by the edge of the bed. Just toss them in there."

"You do the same thing with your t-shirts!"

"Technically they're your shirts, so..."

+++

On Friday, Castiel goes to work as usual, and Dean stays home, planning to take the day off and clean up around the house.

Dean gets halfway through loading the dishwasher when he realizes Cas left his lunch. It's right there, on the kitchen counter.

Dean sighs, shaking his head. He finishes loading the dishwasher before he goes to check the time, seeing that it's only ten and Cas still has two hours before lunch, so Dean can run it over to the school.

Dean goes and gets dressed, trying his best to wear the least eye-catching outfit he has. He doesn't want his husband to go hungry, but he also doesn't want to cause a big commotion at the school -- even though he knows inevitably he will.

When Dean arrives at the school, he texts Cas to let him know that he's here, then he goes through the normal procedure. He goes to the front office, says he's there to see Mr. Novak to drop off his lunch, and they give him a Visitors Pass before sending him on his way.

Dean slowly starts walking toward Castiel's classroom, and damn all to Hell if the bell didn't ring for first lunch right as Dean gets onto Cas's hallway.

Students flood the hallway, and Dean hopes to hell that the number of kids here will disguise him enough so a big scene doesn't erupt. He is in the clear for half of his walk, but then one girl stops and asks him for a selfie.

Happily, Dean obliges, bending down to get into the frame with the girl. Soon another one comes over, and of course, he takes a picture with her, too.

By the time the bell rings again, a small crowd has formed around him, all talking and asking for pictures. He doesn't turn any of them away because he simply can't, and they aren't harming anyone, so this is okay, right?

After Dean finishes taking a selfie with the last fan in the crowd, he peers above them to look down the hallway. He spots his husband almost immediately who is standing outside his classroom door looking both annoyed and confused.

Dean makes his way out of the crowd, confusing all of them even more as he walks right up to Mr. Novak and kisses his cheek lovingly.

Castiel's face is bright red as he smiles at his husband, taking the lunch from his hands. All of the students scream, making their way down the hall toward Mr. Novak and Dean Winchester.

Dean chuckles, wrapping an arm around Mr. Novak's waist as the group approaches them. "Well, I guess now is as good a time as any to let the secret out, huh?" He whispers.

Castiel rolls his eyes, leaning into Dean. The group of students is a mess, talking with one another and some on social media, most likely tweeting something along the lines of OH MY GOD MY ENGLISH TEACHER IS DATING DEAN WINCHESTER.

One girl actually screams aloud, "MR. NOVAK IS DATING DEAN WINCHESTER!" Most likely filming a video on Snapchat.

Dean notices this and takes the opportunity to correct her politely. "Actually, Mr. Novak is married to Dean Winchester."

The students all scream loudly, causing Cas to shake his head and Dean to laugh loudly, pressing another kiss to his husband's temple.

After the students calm down a great bit, Mr. Novak returns to his teacher mindset. "Now that this is over with, I hope all of you have first lunch."

Half of the group goes quiet. Castiel sighs loudly, looking up at Dean. His husband smiles softly down at him, shrugging as if to say cut 'em some slack; I won't do this again.

"Alright, those of you that need a pass, come in here and I'll send a mass email," He groans, trudging back into his classroom. He doesn't normally do this, but it wasn't really their fault. It was more his for leaving his lunch at home, and then Dean's for deciding to walk his lunch down here instead of leaving it in the office.

Oh, well.

After sending an email to all their teachers, Cas is left alone in his classroom with Dean who decides to stay and have lunch with his husband.

It's the least he can do to make up for causing all that chaos.

[casassin]

I was tagged by the wonderful @woollenpharaohs to list my 10 favorite ships. I still can't belive people actually know I exist on this site. Seriously. Thanks so much for tagging me!

Now this is gonna be quite hard because I just have way too many ships to function, but I'm gonna try anyway. The order won't actually mean anything really since I'm the kind of person to jump from ship to ship.

(this is actually my second try doing this since my computer crashed in the middle of doing this. Thanks a bunch computer)

1.Dean Winchester/Castiel-Supernatural

Do you wanna have your heart broken and ripped to shreds? Then buckle up because I have the right ship for you!

These two have ruined me. Just like the show this ship is of great emotional value to me and I love it dearly. At this point the show is basically the most painful slow burn fic in the disguise of a TV show and I honestly can't complain. Each hug is fuel for my soul and gets me through another day.

2. Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham-Hannibal

Tbh this ship actually shares the first place with Destiel because I discovered them both at the same time where I didn't feel great at all and they both helped me through really tough times.

When it comes to Hannigram I'll always remember that one post that said that Hannibal lives in his own wonderland amongst pigs, who'll never be able to understand him and his wonderland, until he stumbles upon Will who sees and understands.

And in the end we are all just searching for someone who understands us, aren't we?

Beautifully dark relationship that tugs on your heartstrings more than it should.

3. Alana Bloom/Margot Verger-Hannibal

What would the murder husbands be without their counterpart murder wives?

Two beautiful women that kill their abuser via drowning and leave him to be eaten by his giant pet moray eel. Who then get married and have a beautiful son together. Bryan Fuller I truly thank you for this gift, for those beautiful ladies brighten my shadowy days.

4. Sam Winchester/Eileen Leahy-Supernatural

Even though I've always been a huge sucker for Sam/Gabriel, these two took me over by storm. They've had such great chemistry and I instantly fell in love with the idea of them being together since she's been first introduced. Such a shame the writers don't like their own characters to have an ounce of happiness. Hello denial thanks for showing me all those fix it fics.

5.Trevor Philips/Michael De Santa-GTA V

(not really a lot of gifs to use for that one)

Oh boy... Complete dumpster fire of a ship and guilty pleasure. I've actually shipshamed myself so long for this. But after playing the game multiple times, you just can't help but realize, that this ship sails itself.

Sometimes I wonder how I went from shipping girly anime looking guys to ship whatever these men are.

But this ship has some real emotional baggage and when you look behind the kinda disgusting surface, you see a relationship more flawed and real than most fanfiction offers. And oh man has this ship some really great fics!

6.Geralt of Rivia/Emiel Regis Rohellec Terzieff-Godefroy- The Witcher 3

I present to you: my current obsession

Even though my only knowledge of their relationship comes from the Blood and Wine DLC (because I've bought the books just now so I haven't read them) I still fell hard for this. Very hard.

A higher vampire killing his own blood brother, a bond much stronger than a human could ever imagine, to save his dudebro and thus becoming hated and hunted amongst his own kind for all eternity. This ship might be the definition of : there is no hetero explanation for this. You can't fool me CD Projekt Red. These two were clearly in love.

7. Mac/Dennis-iasip

What do I love more.

The meme that evolved from this scene or the ship?

Another one of those rough gems and my former obsession . With people so deeply flawed that it's more realistic than the most stuff you see on television these days. There is something about their dynamic that is so interesting to witness. Another one of those ships with some seriously great fanfics just like the one from the lovely person that tagged me.

8.Joseph Oda/Sebastian Castellanos-The Evil Within

Just by looking at this one can imagine that this is anything but a happy ship. Just take all the angst you can imagine and put it in a ship. There we go. Now you've got Joseb.

Another one of those games where you can't help but notice the chemistry and ask yourself if there was something more. I always revisit this one when I feel the urge to get some angst into my system.

9.Johnny Rayflo/Charles J. Chrishunds-Vassalord

My whole life was dedicated to this manga during my teenage years. Just looking at this gif still makes my heart swell in my chest. It's propably the reason why I have such a soft spot for vampires and I still have a special place for these two in my heart. Looks like I've got to reread this soon.

10. Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier-X-Men

I think we all have a special love for that one ship that introduced us to shipping and just fandoms in general. This one is mine.

I still have folders of crappy fanart of them, when I first tried drawing. And one of my first fics was also dedicated to them. I don't know if they either destroyed me or showed me the way into my safe space. And even if my obsession has slowly faded, I still consider this one of my most favorite ships.

That was a ride. My god

Even though I have a lot more I think I'm quite satisfied with how this turned out.

Like always I'm gonna tag (and bother) two of my favorite ladies @kira-hayashi and @natari-55

[jemariel]

30 Questions Tag Game

Tagged by @starsinursa Thankz!

Gender: Genderqueer/nonbinary

Birthday: March 25th

Last movie seen: I put on Hook the other day “for background noise” but I hadn’t seen it in years and forgot how good it is. I was immediately.... hooked ;D 

What do you post/reblog: Supernatural and Destiel primarily. All kinds of fandom stuff, though I tend to shy away from meta/speculation. 

Last thing you Googled: Why is a honey dipper shaped like that? (I did not find a satisfactory answer. Wikipedia, I am disappoint.)

Favorite blog: Oh my gosh..... So many excellent blogs........ I don’t think I could pick one x_x

Dream job: Part time (but pays well enough to keep me secure), close to home, in a laboratory setting for an environmental regulation and protection agency. Leaves me enough time and energy to write and go camping and do crafts and all my other hobbies. (My current job fulfills exactly one of those requirements -- it is in a lab.)

Dream trip: The more I think about it, the more I just want to live in a little village in Ireland for like six months with no responsibilities and the freedom to explore the British Isles at my leisure.

What would be your first entry in a new diary: Probably a list of stories I want to write or an outline of the one I was about to start. 

Top 3 things you love about yourself: Being able to write well enough; The comfort and confidence I’ve found with who I am; My positive outlook.

3 things you wish you knew how to do: Make confident decisions at work; Play more than 4 chords on the guitar; Manage money better.

Something you wish you had discovered/ invented first: The Galapagos Islands. (IDK)

3 qualities you like in a person: Not taking oneself too seriously; Enthusiasm; Snarkiness.

3 qualities you dislike in a person: Thoughtlessness or inconsideration; Not being able to take a joke; Deliberate unkindness.

Favorite planet: Mars. It’s so close and we know so much about it, it really feels like another PLACE, you know?

A resolution you make every year: I mean there’s the usual.... get in shape... but I don’t really do resolutions.

Something you’re better at than most people: Ummmmmmm I have a really excellent memory for spoken word and sequences of events.

Something you’re worse at than most people: Talking on the phone.

Favorite thing about tumblr: Your tumblr experience can be anything you want it to be. No matter what you’re interested in, there’s a corner of tumblr just for you, and you can carve out your own happy little niche surrounded by things you love.

Least favorite thing about tumblr: The corollary: Tumblr is one of the easiest places on the internet to create an echo chamber where all you hear and see are opinions you agree with. It’s very easy to develop a skewed perspective of the world that way.

Weapon of choice: (ง •̀_•́)ง

Something not many people know about you: When I was in high school I could put my fist in my mouth. I could also do weird tricks with my tongue (I can still do weird tongue tricks; the fist thing not so much). I was also innocent enough to have no idea what people were talking about when they said things like “You’re gonna make some guy very happy one day” even though I had been reading explicit m/m fanfiction since I was like 14.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Favorite means of transport: Train!

Favorite story: The Secret Garden. Themes of renewal and rebirth, finding your feet after devastating loss or change, letting go of the past so that you can appreciate the good that’s around you now... Expressed with nature metaphors in the palette of the north English countryside. It’s gorgeous. (Also the Broadway musical is PHENOMENAL.)

Chicken or egg: Egg.

Something that always makes you laugh: None Pizza with Left Beef. Every fucking time. I don’t think anything on the internet has ever made me laugh as hard as that stupid tumblr meme.

What is the strangest thing about you: I mean, I spend most of my time thinking about the same two characters confessing their love to one another and then getting it on over and over again in myriad different situations and scenarios.... but at least I’m in good company!

You get to switch places with someone for a day, who is it and why: My cat. I’d get to lay around my house all day, enjoying my bed and blankets and getting cuddles whenever I wanted them. (Though if my cat had to go to work for me I would probably be out of a job.)

I tag! @silvie111 @naruhearts @gneisscastiel @suckerfordeansfreckles @yeneffersalamander @paperwhitenarcissus @daughter-of-the-rain-and-snow @babyinthetrench @woahthisguy @rosemoonweaver @magnificent-winged-beast If you’d like and if you haven’t already done it. Love you all <3

[pherryt]

FanFic Writer Appreciation Meme

I was tagged by @rosemoonweaver to do a fic rec meme, (apparantly created by @frozen-delight , in honor of Fic Writer Appreciation Day- sorry I missed it!) Thanks so much!

So this was hard because there are categories here that I just don't have fic recs for. I know i'm not as widely read as some people but I'm working on it. I swear.

1. AN OLD FIC (POSTED AT LEAST THREE YEARS AGO) All Star Designer by Sceela/Mishafied It was started in 2013 - last update in 2015. still not done *cries* but I have always loved it and I have lost track of how many times I've actually read it. I don't think I'll ever give up hope of it being finished...despite that it appears they've moved to other fandoms.

2. A NEW FIC (POSTED WITHIN THE LAST SIX MONTHS)

My Liege Lord by @jhoomwrites Started in March and Finished just last month. Like yourself a fantasy Destiel AU? Bodgyguard Cas, Prince Dean? Go and read it :D

3. A FIC YOU WISH HAD GOTTEN MORE ATTENTION (LESS THAN 50 KUDOS ON AO3 OR LESS THAN 30 COMMENTS ON LJ)

Damn it, Jim by @unforth-ninawaters it's short, but sweet and even though she's so not into McKirk and I didn't specify McKirk when I asked for Star Trek, but she knew I liked it and that's what she gave me :D

4. A GENFIC

Made Manifest by @schmerzerling does this count as gen? There's no canon pairing here so i'm guessing yes. I know Rose already rec'ed it but it IS good. so I'd like to rec it again. Trans Dean, FTM, Body/Gender Disphoria

5. A FIC FOCUSED ON A FEMALE CHARACTER I'm so sorry. I fail.

6. A FIC WHICH MADE YOU SEE A CHARACTER IN A NEW LIGHT

Her Turn by @mayalaen 

Charlie/Dean

Normally, I just can't see them as anything but brother/sister. But this fic is really special. Not sure you can count me in as an actual Charlie/Dean shipper but it is DEFINITELY a great fic, especially with all the focus on the things Dean is going through. I haven't read a lot of fic like this, so yeah, definitely seeing a character in a new light

7. A FIC WHICH MADE YOU SHIP SOMETHING

Switch by @ceres-libera 

 This story is absolutely the reason I ship McKirk. Oh. My. God. I didn't know I shipped it till I read this. It's completely canon to the reboot series for the first movie too..and after reading this and looking back on the movies - I can see it.

8. A FIC WHICH INSPIRED YOU TO WRITE literally anything I read could inspire me to write or to draw. I literally could not pick for this category. I have no one fic that said to me "Write write write!"

9. A FIC WITH A PARTICULARLY MEMORABLE LINE I know I've read them. But I've got a bad memory. I'm sorry. I fail again.

10. FREE CATEGORY - gonna put a few things here to make up for the blank ones above:

Rainbow Fences by Higher Magic ABO, Destiel, Trans, Body Disphoria

And Then There Were Five by AnonAnton SCI FI!! :D Dean, Cas and Jimmy (no shipping)

And I just read this one this morning: 

Chai Tea and Tomato Rice by @arya3610 Very sweet - sick Cas, caring Dean. AU

A Shoulder to Cry On by @andromytta Musician Cas, Suicidal Dean. Tear jerker.

Um...I tag @jdragon122 @destielonfire @casanddeanwinchester @madamelibrarian @jhoomwrites or anyone really who wants to do this (but please tag me so i can check out the new stories? :D )

[huskyvoicedphil]

All of the Steven universe asks

oh shit this is gonna be a long one bc i can’t stop myselfadjkadj

Steven - Would you concider yourself a good friend? How has yourway of treating friends and other people changed over time?

I’m not trying to be an arrogant bitch but i think i really am agood friend. For me, the most important thing about relationships with peopleis to be kind so i didn’t change that. But i am still trying to learn that noteverybody worth it...

Garnet - What do you look for in a partner? Are you in arelationship right now? What is really important to you in a relationship?

I’m not in a relationship right now. What do i look for in apartner hm... I just want that person to love me tbh? To care about me and tonot lie about anything. No secrets, no games, no running away. Idk this wasdramatic lol

Pearl - Name five things you love about yourself and yourpersonality and five things you hate

5 things i love about myself:

i care about what’s happening in this world

my taste in music and books

im probably the most helpful person in this world...

my lips (i know weird but...)

im ambitious

5 things i hate about myself:

overthinking 

drama queen

i can love or hate people so easily

i trust everybody in 0.0003 seconds 

my impatience :(

Amethyst - How is the relationship of you and your body? Do youhave self-esteem issues? How do you cope with that?

I hate my body and i have self esteem issues since i was 5. It’seasy, i can’t cope...

Bismuth - What are your morals? What do you concider right orwrong? What is something you could never do because it would hurt your moralviews?

 I could never pretend something that im not for earning/winning something. My family is so important to me so i would never leave them for anything.

Connie - What are/were you like as a student? In which subjectsdo/did you have difficulties? Which do/did you love?

Iliked maths, biology, chemistry and english when i was in highschool! I reallyhated physics and i had difficulties in it. I was such a nerd. I still am anerd... You know that student that you only talk to them bc you want them to tell you about a subject... yeah. I was that student but i was happy

Peridot - What fandoms are you into? Do you own any merchandise?Do you draw fanart sometimes or do you even write fanfiction?

A lot of fandoms, i don’t post about every fandom im in though.Phandom (obvi), ryden, spn fandom and esp destiel, glee fandom, hp fandom,doctor who fandom. I also like skins, marvel movies, ahs etc. but i can’t sayim in those fandoms. Oh and also a whore for emo bands, not a surprise. I can’tdraw shit but im good at writing. I wrote fanfics before but in my nativelanguage. Id like to write phanfics but i dont think im not good enough atenglish for that.

Lapis - How do you feel about your past and your past-self? Doyou easily let go of bad memories or is moving on hard for you?There are things i miss about my past self. But also there arethings im so glad that i rid of them. Unfortunately i can’t let go of badmemories. I always move on, i do, but i can never let them go. I move on butsomethings change. I know i can’t be the same and its what makes you “you”.

Jasper - Are you hard on yourself? Do you push yourself to getbetter and better? How much do you care about your health?I amhard on myself and i used to be harder. I always push myseif to get better butonly if i want to. Not for anyone else but me. I don’t know if it is a bad or agood thing but yeah... I can’t say i care about my health. I alwayscare about other people more. 

Ruby - What do you usually get angry about? How do you expressanger?

I can get angry about a lot of things but most of the time idon’t express. I can’t stand injustice. If i witness that, i can’t stop myself.I usually try to talk to people about why it made me angry and why what theydid was bad. If they continue doing what they did, sometimes i yell at theirfaces and feel bad for the rest of my life. I also get mad at people that doesnteven know me that well for telling me what to do. I feel so happy about advicesbut not about people that saying they know everything.

Sapphire - Do you tend to overthink and overanalyze things and seeproblems everywhere? How do you cope with stress?

I do overthink and overanalyze, i hate that about myself. Im notgood at coping with things but i try to distract myself with music, youtube and movies. Writing also helps a lot. I don’t see problems everywhere. I do worry about a lot of things but im not trying to find a thing to be upset. But if something happens and makes me sad i go crazy and become a drama queen for a week about it. This is what overthinking makes me do.

Rose - Name your favorite animals and plants. Do you have anypets or plants?

I love doggos. Every kind of dogs. Big dogs, small dogs, smiley dogs, sad dogs, black dogs brown dogs white dogs light brown dogs... I also love cats!!!! and monkeys. I know trees are not like a plant but adsfjfn i like trees. Oh I like cherry trees!!!! Sadly i dont have any pets or plants but we have a garden so there are a lot of flowers and fruit trees there !!

Greg - What music do you like? Any favorite genre, bands orsingers? Name your current favorite song

I love rock, pop-rock, classic rock, alternative rock, pop, some indie, some metal and some k-pop. I also have a thing for jazz but i listen to it randomly.  I can’t choose a fav band but Queen and Panic!at the disco have my heart forever. I like a lot of singers but i don’t have a spesific fav one.Maybe melanie martinez and lady gaga. My current favorite song is “look what you made me do” by taylor swift bc i can’t stop listening to it and also memes for that song are great.

OKAY HERE WE GO THIS IS TOO LONG BUT IT WAS SO MUCH FUN SO thank you for asking anush

[crantzypants]

SO I recently found a message I wrote to myself, answering just some stupid questions, but I wanted to post them here and then reanswer them because apparently I made this New Years Eve 2015 into 2016.

End of 2015/Start of 2016: 

Current number of followers: 28 The last thing I REALLY posted was the "You cannot YIFF the cat, sir", and I'm very proud of that. I'm currently about to make a post with Bill being the Prettiest Girl at the Party. Bloomy is gonna kill me..... 

2017: I have 238 followers, for some reason. Not quite sure how, but I won’t complain. Last thing I personally posted was bragging like a jackass about RvB haha.

Friends made through Tumblr: only Bloomy, but that really doesn't count at all. (Here's to talking with y'all more and maybe makin some more online friends!!) 

2017: Bloomy you always count. And I adore the friends I have made on this site. (Hatey, Peeps, Wandy, I love you three so much). There are some people I follow and are mutuals I’d love to get to know as well though :D

Current thoughts: Damn I have an entire play to reread and sound design for. 

2017: I am so tired, and I won’t foreseeably have a break until four weeks from now when the play I am working on is solidly on its feet.

Current Book: Ready Player One. Really good, btw 

2017: The Everything Box. Hopefully after that will be The Last Unicorn.

Music/Band: Oldies, always and forever. Band wise, been listening to a ton of NSP. 

2017: Truly, some things never change.

TV shows/Fandoms: just got back into Supernatural (Which we don't take seriously, giving us some of the greatest jokes like asking if a character "Is gonna cwy wittle baby", Dean's mom, how Sam and Cas get bullied on the playground, and Mom bingo (the idea Cas has a list of all the characters moms and is trying to bang them so he can get " Bingo"). Along with the idea that I can quote the line before the character says it and fortelling what will happen) Also, Gravity Falls (Just got the news its last episode is Feb.15) and Wander Over Yonder.....can't think of anything else show wise.....I guess Fandom wise, also Undertale

2017: So....so much TAZ and RvB. And Voltron now that it is back. Looking forward soooooooooooooooooooo hard to Brooklyn 99 like DUDE. And while I am not in the fandom, Tales from the Borderlands will always be in my heart forever. Also I haven’t watch Rick and Morty yet like wtf? 

Ships?: I mean I usually make fun of all ships (not the IDEA of shipping, I just like making fun OF ships. It's funny and humorous to me), but Fiddauthor is good, and Supernatural reminded me I really like Destiel. Hmmm, I'm sure there are some other ships...eh, oh well. You know what this goes up today next year so yeah, I can get on board with people who ship Syl and Peeps  

2017: Just ship all of everything. Shipping is great when wars are not forged around them.

Best Part of 2015: Australia, making new friends, finally feeling at home in college by my senior year. 

2017: Having found a job that I really enjoy in theater, learning about my love of writing and trying to teach myself and learn more to improve my writing skills. Having friends at work, still being able to be friends with old college friends and a family who loves me.

What do I think 2016 will bring?: Graduation, the fear of not getting a job, the actuality of probably getting a job in theater after fretting for a while, more friends and opportunities, staying in touch with friends and family, the hope I can travel again. 

2017: Hopefully the rest of 2017 will have me grow in my theater job, and that it will become easier, and that I will have time to write. Possibly go back to school in order to creatively write. Continue to talk with people and be more open towards new opportunities and become more willing to take risks.

 Anything to improve on?: Sound Design Skills, maybe tone it down a bit in the real world with not being a stereotypical smol angry. 

2017: Not feel like everything is out of my control, not have a panic attack, learn that I don’t fuck everything up.

Any notes?: Keep on Meming, my friends.

2017: Love yourself and those around you.