#still try every single day and that's truly something i admire so deeply about you

[zoyaofthegardvn]

New Friends, Old Insecurities (2)

A/N: Finally! Here is the second and final part of New Friends, Old Insecurities :) Thanks so much to everyone that was so kind about that fic and really encouraged me to write a part 2! I hope you all enjoy <3

CW: Angst to fluff!

Read part 1 here first....

---

It's been weeks since your explosive fight with Mor, and you were miserable. Looking back on it, you decided that perhaps you had escalated things too far, too fast, too dramatically. But you were truly heartbroken, and angry, and the damage has already been done, anyway.

Gwyn and Azriel, the friends that they are, have been letting you stay with them. You had shown up on their front porch in tears, stuttering and blubbering about what happened. Gwyn had brought you inside, made you a cup of tea, while Azriel started a fire and prepared the spare room for you to sleep in, carrying your things out of the room to give you and Gwyn some time to talk.

They've been incredibly understanding, even reassuring you that you can stay as long as you need every time you mention that you're going to start looking for somewhere else to stay soon. Truthfully, you think they just don't want you to pay for a place to live alone, all too confident that you and Mor will find your way back to one another eventually.

And that's not to say Mor hasn't tried. It wasn't hard to figure out that you'd started saying with the Shadowsinger and the Priestess, and Mor even showed up, trying to persuade them to let her see you, before Azriel very firmly told her no, that you needed time.

Gwyn said Mor asked about you every single day at training. She wanted to know if you were sleeping well, if you were eating enough, if you were ready to talk yet. Gwyn merely nodded at most of her questions, but always refused to answer the last one. When you were ready was entirely up to you, and Gwyn would never say so on your behalf. Gwyn did report back that Mor looked awful, bags under her eyes, sluggish like she hadn't slept or eaten anything. She said that she stayed to herself, showing up to training late and leaving early. She didn't go to family dinners, and Rhys had stopped asking her to patrol because her heart wasn't in it. That always made your chest ache, but you weren't doing any better.

You also found out that a rift had grown between Emerie, Nesta, and Gwyn. And that made you feel guilty. You had never intended to cause something between the three, knowing how deeply they love and admire one another. You apologized several times, but during one evening that Nesta and Cassian had come over for dinner, Nes and Gwyn both explained to you that it wasn't your fault. They said that Emerie had abandoned them, too, and that they were upset with her for interfering in a mated friend's marriage. Again, you tried to apologize, tried to tell them that it didn't have to be that way, but they shot you down.

"I love Emerie, and I'm sure we'll make up, but she messed up, that's all there is to it," Nesta had told you.

"She feels bad about it, I can tell, but she has to work up the courage to make amends. We can't make her do that," Gwyn had replied.

And that was that. But still, you couldn't shake the guilt. Though, a small part of you was thrilled that Mor and Emerie had been staying away from one another.

Your days mostly consisted of reading, paperwork, lunch with Gwyn, cards with Azriel, and dinner with the pair of them, or alone if it was family night. They had offered to stay home and eat with you, but that you adamantly refused. Just because you couldn't stand to be around everyone right now didn't mean you would keep your friends stuck at home, too.

So, while you had an amazing support system, friends that rallied around you and refused to let you go through anything alone, you were still, quite frankly, miserable.

---

During the third week of staying at Gwyn and Azriel's house, you were spending another night alone, cooking a small dinner for just yourself. The pair had just left, and they'd likely not be back for several hours. So, it surprised you when you heard footsteps at the front door, before a gentle knock sounded from the foyer.

You placed the spoon you'd been stirring your pasta sauce with on the counter before making your way to the front, a confused look on your face. As far as you were aware, Gwyn and Az hadn't been expecting anyone to stop by. They would have told you.

Another soft knock makes you walk faster, and you don't think to peek out of the window before you pull the door open.

There, on the front porch, looking sheepish and a bit scared, is Emerie.

You're a bit stunned, and all you can do is gape. The stare obviously makes her uncomfortable, and she looks down at her boots, sniffing a bit before saying, "Hey."

You swallow thickly, making no move to let her into the house. "Gwyn just left, she went to th-"

"I-I'm not here for Gwyn. I came to speak to you, Y/N," Emerie replies, pulling her gaze up to look at you. She looks braced for rejection, but ultimately, you don't hate her, you don't even dislike her. But there are, of course, harsh feelings.

"I don't know that that's a good idea, Emerie..."

"Please, Y/N, I came to explain, to apologize. I-I know why you won't speak to Mor," the sound of your mate's name makes you flinch, but Emerie just continues, "I understand it, I do. But please, at least, just hear me out."

You're silent for a few moments, contemplating how to proceed. You could shut the door in her face, go inside, make your dinner. You could keep looking at apartment listings, make a plan to move the rest of your stuff out of your and Mor's once shared home. You could avoid your mate like the plague. You could never see Emerie again. You could keep ditching family dinners, live a life of loneliness. You had always been so stubborn, so determined. Even if it was about making your own life a living Hell.

Or, you could let Emerie inside. You could hear her out. Let her convince you to reach out to your wife, to go home.

You sigh, you step aside, and you pull the door open wider. "I was just making dinner. Do you like pesto?"

---

You and Emerie share a quiet dinner, bowls of pasta and glasses of wine consumed with little conversation. When you're both finished, you take the dishes and rinse them in the sink. Wordlessly, Emerie cleans up the ingredients you had laid around the kitchen, and you're reminded that she's been here before, several times. Gwyn is her best friend, and you're not the only one here that's lost someone important.

When the kitchen is tidy, you make your way towards the living room, gesturing for Emerie to follow.

"I suppose this is the part where we talk, huh?"

Emerie nods, sitting in the chair closest to the fireplace while you sit on the edge of the couch.

Again, silence fills the room. But eventually, Emerie clears her throat and begins. "I think that first, I just need to apologize." She shifts so her body is facing you, she makes eye contact even though you can tell she feels a bit embarrassed. "I am so, so sorry for how I interfered with your marriage. I never had any intentions of breaking the two of you up, I truly hope you can believe me. I-I feel like I've done something... awful, and I am just... I-I'm so sorry."

You dip your head, trying not to cry. "Thank you, Emerie. I... I believe you."

She sighs, like she was expecting you to call her a liar, to kick her out. But you can tell that she's sincere, and you know her well enough that you don't think she'd ever want to or try to be a homewrecker. That just isn't her intent.

"And Emerie, truthfully... I don't want you to feel so awful."

She looks at you, confused, but before she can speak, you continue.

"Mor neglected me as a mate, as a wife. Yes, you encouraged her, certainly, but Mor chose to do what she did all on her own. You can't shoulder the blame for our failed relationship when it was her responsibility."

Emerie nods, but that guilt still paints her face. "I can't... I know it's not my place, to give you any sort of relationship advice..." She trails off and looks at you, anticipating you cutting her off, but you don't. "But Mor, she's... she's miserable. She doesn't talk to me anymore, and I don't blame her. Not many people do." And that statement breaks your heart a bit. You truly feel guilty that Emerie, likely more than you do, feels so lonely. "But I can just tell. She isn't sleeping, or eating, the only time she speaks is to ask someone about you. She.. she loves you, Y/N, adores you. You're the only person she'll ever want."

"It sure would've been nice if she had treated me that way the past few months," you spit out, your bitterness revealing itself.

Emerie flinches, but she doesn't disagree. "You're right, and I imagine she hates herself for it. A-And I know you probably don't want to hear this from me, but I never, ever had any romantic feelings for her. What I felt for Mor was strictly platonic, I swear to you. And never once did I get even the slightest idea that she felt anything beyond friendship for me. I would not lie to you about that."

And though you had tried to hold them in, the tears start falling anyway. You sniffle, quickly swiping your cheeks with the back of your hand.

"I don't know what do, then. I want to believe you, Emerie. But Gods, the way she treated me, made me feel. I can't ever go through that again."

Emerie nods, understanding and compassionate. "I know, Y/N, I know."

For a few beats, the room is silent save for your sniffling and the crackling of the fire.

"I... I'm going to stay away from her. I had already decided that when I heard about what happened between the two of you, but you should know... if it'll help convince you to reach out to her... I won't ever be a problem again. I'm going to stay away, I swear it."

You scoff. "And what happens when another female comes around to woo her? Again Emerie, I appreciate you coming here, but the problem lies with Mor. And anyway, I'd never ask you to not be friends with her. If you say friendship is all that it was, then I believe you."

"Yes, she is my friend, and I know how devastated she is to have lost you. So if it takes me staying away, so be it. I'll do it. And as far as other females go... Y/N... she would never, ever cheat on you. Do you know how much she loves you?"

You don't get a chance to respond before she continues. "You're all she ever talked about. In the mornings, she'd talk about how pretty you looked when she woke up, how she couldn't wait to see you later. When we'd be at the shop, she'd constantly talk about your studies, your work, how proud she is of you, how you've been working so damn hard. And that night... at dinner... she was telling me about how she missed you, and she was starting to get worried, because you were never late, and you never left without telling her where you were going."

Emerie's details make you start crying harder, quiet sobs shaking your shoulders as you keep trying to wipe the blurriness from your eyes.

"I-I don't know what to do," you cry, embarrassed to be so vulnerable in front of her.

Emerie stands from her chair, she moves to be beside you. Her hand falls to your shoulder, and she squeezes. "Please, just.. just hear her out. For both of your sakes."

You don't answer, and Emerie pulls her hand away. "I know you have a lot to think about, so I'll go. Again, I'm sorry for my part." She begins making her way to the front of the house, but stops to add one more thing. "Thank you... for the dinner... and for hearing me out." Then she lets herself out the front door.

---

You spent a few days mulling Emerie's words over, coming to terms with what you wanted to do. She had convinced you to talk to Mor, to try to work things out, but you just didn't know how to proceed. How to forgive and move on.

Eventually, you decided you'd speak to her at home. You wouldn't confront her in public, not when emotions are as heightened as they are. And you didn't want to invite her to Gwyn and Azriel's house, even though they would have no issue with it, you didn't want to impose on their home anymore than you already had. And truthfully, you wanted to see your house again. You wanted to be able to return to it one day.

And so, after days of contemplating, talking relentlessly with Gwyn and Az, losing sleep from the anxiety, you've finally decided to show up at your house, where you know Mor is currently at, if the candle glow from the windows were any indication.

Your hands tremble with nerves, your stomach doing flips. You debate knocking, but shake your head at the idea. This is still your house, anyway. If you keep thinking like it isn't, it'll be harder for you to see a way forward with Mor, and that's not why you came here.

However, you don't want to scare her, so you do softly rap on the wood before pushing the door open, softly closing it behind you.

You hear gentle footsteps sound from the living room, but you make no move to meet her, your nerves keeping you firmly planted in the foyer.

She stops in her tracks when she rounds the corner, and your heart sinks when you take in her form. Her hair is a mess, pulled back in a knot, some loose tangles plastered to her sweaty skin. She looks pale, her eyes bruised and sunken in. A blanket is wrapped around her shoulders, and she's dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. She brings a shaky hand to her mouth that's fallen open, clearly shocked to see her wife has come home.

"Y/N?" she asks, her voice quiet and broken, like she's hardly been using it.

"Mor..."

And then she's bursting into tears, her shoulders shaking, her chest heaving as she struggles to breathe.

"Oh, Mor..." you sigh, rushing forward, grabbing her by her forearms and pulling her into the living room. You set her down on the couch, then fetch her a glass of water from the kitchen, urging her to drink it before she has a full blown panic attack.

When she comes down a bit, she sets the glass on the table, then brings her teary eyes up to look at you. "Are you h-here to get the rest of your stuff?" Her voice is muffled from her tears, her throat raw. "Did you come to... to e-e-end it o-officially?" She stutters over her words, the panic creeping up on her again.

You shake your head, sitting next to her on the couch, but keeping a bit of distance between the two of you. "No, Mor. I came to talk."

Her head whips to the side, her face in shock. Clearly, she hadn't expected you to ever hear her out. "To talk?" she asks, like she can't quite believe what's happening.

You nod. "Emerie... she came and... explained things a few days ago. She told me to hear you out... she said you're not doing well."

Mor shrugs, but she doesn't respond, like she doesn't really care about her physical and mental health. The thought stabs at your gut.

"Mor.. I-I'm done running from this. You're my mate. My wife. As hurt as I am... I've been wrong, to stay away from you for so long. So for that, I apologize. But I just... I needed tim-"

"You don't have to apologize, Y/N, please. I know why you left."

You don't argue with her, but still, you feel guilty for your part in your separation. "But still, I'm sorry."

Mor says nothing for a few tense beats, she just sniffles and wipes at her eyes.

"Can.. can we fix this, Y/N? Please? I can't... I can't lose you. Not for good. Not forever. I-I can't," Mor starts crying again, gentle, silent tears. "I won't survive it. I love you, Y/N. Please, let me try and fix this."

You reach a shaky hand out, placing it on her shoulder. "That's why I came here, Mor, to try and fix things. I came here to talk. But I think that you're the one that needs to explain things, not me."

Mor reaches her hand up to sit on top of yours. She releases a deep breath, clearly relieved to hear that you want things to work out.

"I have to start by saying I'm sorry. I'm so, so fucking sorry, Y/N."

Her words bring fresh tears to your eyes, and you try to keep them from spilling over, though it's useless.

"So why, Mor?" your voice cracks, but you keep going. "Why did you.. treat me like that? I-I want to understand."

She shakes her head. "There's nothing to understand. It was wrong, stupid, awful of me. I neglected you, I made you feel like I wasn't in love with you anymore... and even if you can forgive me, I'll never forgive myself for that."

A few more beats of silence, then Mor continues. "I want you to know, Y/N, that you're perfect for me. What you said that night... about us being mates... about it being wrong" she shakes her head like the thought disturbs her, like she's trying to rid herself of the memory. "That's not true. We belong together. I have never wished you were different. I have never wanted you to be more like Emerie, if that's what you had been thinking."

And she's right, that's exactly what you had convinced yourself she wanted. It had hurt beyond belief, but the ache lessons hearing Mor so sincerely tell you otherwise.

"I just... it had been so long since I had made a true friend, outside of the family. I have Feyre, but she's Rhys' mate before she's my friend, and she's been so busy lately, with her growing family."

"Were you not... were you not happy being my friend and my lover?" you whisper, always prepared to face the fact that you couldn't give Mor everything she needed.

She turns her whole body to face you, her features crumpling in devastation and shock.

"What?! Gods no, Y/N, no, that's not it at all. You're my best friend, and my wife. But we're not together all of the time... we.. we have our differences. Ones that I have never, ever wished didn't exist. It was just nice, to have Emerie, to have someone to talk weapons with, someone that could keep up with me in training, someone that understands what it's like to be a warrior and a female."

You could never fault her for that. Mor, after having gone through so much, deserved a friend she could relate to more than anyone.

"I... I understand that, Mor, I do. What I don't understand is why... or how she became more important than me. Than us." Your tone is firm, straight to the point.

Mor shudders, she squeezes her eyes shut in shame. "She never was. I know you have no reason to believe me, but I swear that no one has ever been more important to me than you, no relationship more important than our marriage."

You're reminded of Emerie telling you how Mor always talked about you, bragged about you, asked about you. You find yourself believing her, your anger slowly ebbing away.

"I got way too caught up in having fun with her, in being able to relate to her. It made me abandon you, neglect our relationship, and again, I am so sorry, baby."

The nickname tugs at your heart, the ease of slipping back into it.

Through tears and a shaky voice, you ask, "When you saw me... when you would come home at night, it felt like all you really needed me for was sex. Do you know how badly that hurt, Mor? To know that after you slept with me, we were going to wake up just for me to be alone again while you spent the day with her?"

Mor cries out, both of her hands coming to rest on your legs. "Gods, Y/N, I'll never forgive myself for making you feel that way. You were the only one on my mind, all day every day. When we made love, I was entirely there, with you. I missed you, every day, even if it was my own fault, I missed you. I just... I wanted to show you how badly I did, how much I loved you, through being intimate. I didn't realize what kind of message I was sending, and I'm so fucking sorry. You're so much more to me than sex, baby, you know that. I love you, I love you, I love you," then she brings one of your hands up to her mouth, planting a kiss to the smooth skin.

You take deep breaths to steady the overwhelming emotions, but the tears remain constant. Her words soothe your anxieties to some degree, but the hurt isn't entirely gone.

"I forgive you, Mor, but I don't know what to do, how to proceed."

Mor's breath catches in her throat, and she doesn't breathe for a few seconds. Eventually, she inhales, shakily, then speaks with a wavering voice. "I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you, Y/N, please give me the chance to prove to you, again, that you're perfect for me, the only person I'll ever need. Please, baby."

She sounds terrified, and you feel a bit guilty, because you hadn't meant to imply that you weren't sure if you'd able to continue being mated to her. Just that you weren't sure how to go from here, how to keep working on making this better.

"I-I don't want to... divorce.. or.. Gods forbid, break the bond, Mor, I don't." Mor shudders with relief, her shoulders relaxing, her hands start shaking a bit less.

"But, we can't just go back to before... we can't act like nothing happened. Things have to change."

"I understand, Y/N, I do. Tell me what you want from me, and I'll do it."

You huff a laugh at her eagerness, your tears finally ceasing to roll down your cheeks. You wipe your face with the back of your hand, but keep the other intertwined with Mor's.

"Well, first, I need to move back in, I guess."

Mor nods rapidly, "Yes, yes, please. I'll help you get your things. Come home, tonight, I can't stand being here without you."

You give her a soft smile, one that she returns. "Okay, we can do that."

She kisses your hand again, rubbing along your knuckles with her thumb.

"But, I don't think..." Mor looks at you expectantly, urging you to continue your train of thought. You clear your throat and begin again. "I-I don't think I'm ready for us to be.. intimate.. again. I-I'm sorry, I just need time, and I nee-"

"Don't apologize, Y/N, it's not necessary and I don't deserve it." Her voice is stern, and it shuts you up immediately. "I told you that you're not just sex, baby. I'll wait as long as you need. All I want is you, back home, with me, in whatever capacity you'll have me."

You nod, a bit stunned by how sincere she is, and relieved that she isn't upset with your decision.

"And, things have to be different. You have to spend time with me again, Mor. I won't be treated like that again." She nods while you talk, and it makes you grow more confident as you assert your needs. "Mornings belong to us again, and you'll speak to me, read with me, before we go to bed. You'll go into town with me, we'll go on dates several times a week, and we'll sit together at family dinner, every single time." Mor's smile grows, like she's proud of you for your demands, demands she would never dream of protesting, demands she craves, too. "You'll speak to me when you see me, you'll kiss me hello and goodbye, you'll ask me how my day was and you'll tell me about yours, even if it's something you think I can't relate to." Mor hums, she nods, she says, "Of course, my love," but you're not done yet. "You're my wife, Mor, my mate. But you're my best friend, too. You'll have to treat me as such again, if this is going to work."

Mor wastes no time agreeing. "Yes, to all of it, a million times, yes. I was a fool for not doing those things these past few months, it's a mistake that will never happen again, I promise you, Y/N." She leans in, and when you don't pull away, she presses a soft kiss to your lips. It feels like coming home, like everything falling back into place. She pulls back, cupping your cheeks with both of her hands. She stares into your eyes, an act of intimacy you can't, won't shy away from. "I'd do anything for you, give you anything, all the time in the world, if you wanted it. I love you, Y/N, and I'll forever be grateful for you, for this second chance you've given me."

You grin, then it's your turn to kiss her. "I believe you, Mor, I really do."

---

A/N: Ahhh! Part 2 is finally done! Once again, thank you so much to everyone that encouraged me to write the continuation, and all the enthusiasm you showed me! I really really appreciate all of you guys <3 I hope this part was satisfying and worth the wait :)

[mooshs-crack-headcanons]

Okay, I mean this in no disrespect about Miphlink, Miphlink shippers *mwah* love you guys, but me for me personally I like Miphlink but only with it in the context of it being one sidded AND Mipha being 100% completely aware of it's unrequitedness.

Why? Because I. Love. Angst. I thrive off it.

Like Mipha is a sweet, compassionate girl with a heart of pure gold - but she isn't stupid. She isn't oblivious to the blink and you'll miss it searching glances that goes on between Link and Princess Zelda, the devotion he has for her that goes well beyond than just a knight doing his job. She isn't ignorant to glimmering shine that lights up in the princess' eyes every time she looks at her chosen knight either, the genuine expression that melts across her face that is all devoid of the facade she presents wherever on official royal duties. Love. Clear and obvious love that is impossible to ignore even if it stabs and knaws at the Zora princess' heart each and every time she sees it.

How she wished deeply in her heart of hearts, how she wished and pray to the goddess that maybe one day... Link would look at her the same way. But then she quickly realizes how silly and selfish that sounds every time and that breaks her heart even more. It'd be so cruel to wish something like that because then it'd be hurting both Link and Zelda and she absolutely doesn't want that - both of them are very dear friends to her and she doesn't want to warm that because of some... silly feelings. Silly, deep, feelings.

For quite some time she sits up on Vah Ruta's spout and truly recollects on the matter. Each day she thinks, traces her slight taloned fingertips over the blade of her trident and staring back at her reflection on its blade. She really did love the hero, she knows her feelings are true and much before the realization that his heart actually belonged to someone else she... started making him the armor. Since then she's hiddened it, far from any eyes to see and is positively sure the only ones to know about its existence is her father and little Sidon - who'd actually helped a bit himself in the stitching of the scales which even now still brings a small smile to her lips. There's no reason to finish it now, surely, but on the other hand something ate at her to accompanied by a voice saying maybe it'll be important one day to fulfill at least some kind of purpose, even if it wasn't for its original intention.

Mipha pauses on the thought, her eyes scanning over through the mountains and towards the direction of the castle in the kingdom's heart. She heard rather recently from Urbosa that Link has been sneaking Princess Zelda out of the castle at night to continue her sheikah research, going the King's direct orders.

A knight disobeying the word of his king. He did that for her.

The Zora sighs. That sounds very like him, she admired that about him and even so she's glad to hear the princess had still continue her research, it was no hidden secret that one of her main interests so if she continue to pursue it than that makes her happy. And the princess happy obviously made Link happy, which in turn makes Mipha happy at the end of the day.

Her mind crawls back to the armor.

...maybe... she could finish it. Not as some token of engagement as Zora tradition willed it, though she is aware exactly how it will look to most Zora when she gives it to the hero, how they'll interpret it and try to spin it off as a romantic thing but... the creation of armor like this without a doubt is a very special an and intimate one, very personal. So it'd have to mean just as much if she were to give it as a... blessing, right? Her personal blessing for Link and Zelda's relationship. Her token of acceptance, even if it stung.

She very quickly went to work.

Every single night, even after long days of training and attending to her royal duties she takes some time to work on the armor. She pays attention to fine detail - making sure every row of scales that aline the sturdy fabric are in the correct shape and positioning that would make the set suitable to be worn even years and decades from now. Regal - she makes it, with every pattern melted in the pauldrons and the pretty eye catching glimmer of sapphires that danced in between the threads of the fabric. Perfect, she wants it to be perfect. To symbolic represent how much Link means to her and how happy she is with his happiness and love to the princess. She loves seeing him happy and wishes for everything in the world just to keep him happy.

Even if she has to watch him grow old, together hand in hand with the woman he actually loves and eventually... die. And Mipha will still be young, and live life long without him, that's the sad truth between human and zora lifespans. So this all is for the best.

Weeks and months leading through the armors creation process, even in the final hours until its completely finished and ready to present.

She still can't stop the uncontrollable tears streaming down her face.

[raw-law]

!!!!! I adore you two, really. I always love educating people and having discussions with them but I do not wish to come across as arrogant just because I'm so honest (which most people cannot deal with). Both of you really deserve every ounce of my appreciation, even if the subject may still be a bit more foreign to you Light. I do not view it as a flaw, the fact that you're willing to expand your horizon on this (and everything else, really) makes it very easy to talk to you and I really like how you express yourself even when there's something you don't particularly agree with, or relate to. Very delighted at how polite you are. I absolutely agree with you, our expectations and preferences towards romantic partners do mesh. Out of the romance oriented questions you replied to occasionally I could get behind your replies a lot, seeing as you hold a standard of non dependancy and realism. True respect is sacred to me, and I like how the more someone mentally challenges you, the more respect you open up with towards that person. Very relatable and I cherish the position I'm at in your eyes. Now, Ryuzaki on the other hand.. Let me tell you, people have called me stoic all my life, but this right here? You really managed to get a wholehearted laugh out of me. I do sincerely hope you managed to get some sleep, but I have to admit I am heavily entertained by your way of gaining knowledge. I, too, like to sacrifice my precious sleep for it hahaha. Though what a shame.. What a shame it is to hear a smart man like you degrade himself like that. I'm not liking that and I truly believe you should put yourself on this pedestal as well so let me mirror some of the praise I have been kindly receiving from you boys. You are not slow by all means, nor are you incoherent. I can follow perfectly fine, there is no bullshittery to put up with.. Your natural curiosity is nothing to be ashamed of, it should be admired. I'm certainly not suffering from your rambling, I was in fact looking forward to this reply and you surely did not disappoint. Trust me, it would be nothing but a pleasure to me to be bombarded by your questions even in the middle of the night haha. Sorry, now it's my turn to sound a bit shallow haha I'm just a bit flustered. Every time I press send I start doubting myself because I fear I might seem like a total weirdo and creep and every single time you welcome my words so greatly, both of you. It always hurt me when people painted you as some ugly rotting creature, Ryuzaki, because I am certainly not failing to notice how charming you are. Naturally, even, since you're not really trying at all. I understand how people are drawn in by Light's effortless elegance but I think you are bright too, Ryuzaki. Very much so actually. I greatly appreciate the warmth in the way you interact with me.

Anyway, sensual is the word I was looking for. In the past, my partners have always used that term when referring to me. I want to tell you two something a bit contradicting yet not short of amusing; I already had this opinion before this happened, but around.. Four or five years ago, I was in a relationship with someone who deeply fascinated me. A very busy person who majored in psychology along with a job in security and a large social media presence with a big audience on the side, quite a bit older than me as well. We got acquainted through our shared interests and while getting to know each other, they slowly but surely revealed their fragility to me. I was obviously more than honored, but back then I wasn't as confident as I am today and everything was a tad bit intimidating to me. My life was vastly different to theirs, so I wasn't sure about being able to take care of them but since they held such mental strength, I figured it would not be much of an issue. Until, one day, they told me something that was alien to me - they told me that they haven't shed a single tear in years. Through laughter. Casually, just like that. With their busy life and blows of fate, I kept on asking myself how that was possible and eventually realized it was repression that held their tears in. Something about that was so cruel to me that it made me instantly tell them "I want to change that." in a way that would be beneficial for them. Mind you, me personally I would break if I couldn't shed my precious tears. I like to cry and I like to cry often, I cry when I listen to sad music or when I watch sad movies. I cry out of anger, sadness, and joy. I would never be ashamed of that. I figured it must be torturous to not be able to, literally, let your emotions flow out of you like that, especially since crying releases well needed endorphins. I wasn't sure how to approach it because really, how do you say "hey, want me to make you cry?" without sounding like an asshole? It was almost comical, especially with me being younger. I didn't want them to shed tears of sadness, so this was when I tended to eroticism. After getting their consent, I began to strategically pinpoint their most harmless of weaknesses, expanding into those that rooted deeply. They were woven into knots and with them and me having a rather long distance between us, it usually ended up in me rambling on the phone, building up into something more erotic day by day. It goes without saying there was an insane amount of trust involved, someone recognizing your weaknesses like that can be insanely harmful and dangerous, I chose my every word carefully and yet if I made it sound too weak, I knew I couldn't reach anything. Sometimes, they were so relaxed that they just fell asleep. This was a huge compliment to me, proved their trust and just reassured me I was the only one who could do this for them. Not once did we have sex, believe me when I say I have never physically touched them and yet one day it happened, they cried and they cried hard. It was cathartic and sexually gratifying for the both of us. This was when I realized how erotically capable I am.

I apologize for the length of this ask, but I figured this story might be highly interesting to someone who's not well versed on this matter. And yes Light, whether you're a mass murderer or not is not to be questioned in the slightest. It's a fact, as Ryuzaki said. Not insulting you, the burden you carry must be heavy if that's the path you chose for yourself. I won't pick sides. I wish to remain neutral and realistic.

-🩶

L:

wow.. i'm honestly not sure if i can make a response that lives up to everything you've shared here. but.... shit. i'll try, hahah.

i'm glad you found my sleep deprived prattling amusing, though light definitely did make it more coherent than it originally was, so thank him for that part if anything, hah. your compliments are also highly flattering. i'm not.. really used to praise that's not in regards to my work..? so this is certainly new. i'm not sure what's the uh.. socially right way to accept such remarks? but i do highly appreciate them. it's just.. very new, hahah. and you say i have charm.

i'm also glad that you can feel comfortable asking and answering with what you please. i wouldn't want to foster an environment that makes you feel like a creep, or a weirdo.. or question what you're doing here (it may be a reference but it is true, i assure you). plus, i just like learning about people, so lengthy responses are always welcome. as much as i like taunting light with stupid questions, i very much enjoy discussions like this as well.

and the story... that's the main part that i'm not sure i can match up to.

it's beautiful. really. i'm not sure what else i can say. i honestly didn't think relationships like that could really.. exist..? but in the sense of that kind of deep emotional intimacy, especially in the form of erotica. or maybe it's just a subconscious mentality of not believing i could personally achieve that... i'm not sure. either way, it's an incredibly touching story. i doubt i'll forget it. thank you again for the response, even though i feel like "thank you" is too weak of a phrase to describe how much i like this story.

Light:

I'll...try my best to answer your ask, sorry for the long wait...I've just been thinking of a better way to answer you.

First of all, I'm glad that you're writing to ask. Don't worry about seeming like a 'creep' or a 'weirdo', we're always interested to learn more---especially when the subject is interesting, like in this case.

And....I must say this. Your story is beautiful. Honestly, that's why I've been waiting on this reply for so long---I'm not very sure how to adequately respond to what you've told to both of us. I guess I can say that, because of it, I understand now that eroticism can...make people feel emotions they haven't felt in months, years, possibly even decades. And, honestly, that's just so...amazing? If that's the right word, because words seem to be unfortunately failing me here. I suppose I'll just enjoy your story in silence. Just know that I deeply enjoyed it, and, well...I can say that you've helped my understanding of the subject come a long, long way since the start.

Thank you. And you're right: it is highly interesting. I'd absolutely love to hear more of this, though my response is heavily inadequate...

[asianguygonewild]

Why do I love you?

I love you because of your heart. How pure & kind it is. How you’ve been through so much but still keep it open to love those deserving of it. I love how considerate you are. You always think “how is she going to feel/react, what is she going to think if I say/do this?” You are the most thoughtful person I know. I mention something to you once & you never forget it. I tell you something I don’t like & you always keep it in the forefront of your mind when interacting with me so as never to trigger, upset or hurt me. I tell you something I do like & you do your absolute best in doing what that is, just to make me happy. I love how open you are in loving me. The way you want people to know what I mean to you. How little you care about judgement in showing your love & affection for me. I love how deeply, passionately, & intensely you love. The fact that YOU want to shower me with love & affection is something I love so much about you. I think it speaks to the softness of your heart & I truly admire that about you.

I admire a lot of things about you. Superficially, I admire your face. Your body. Your smile. Your expressive & soulful eyes. I admire the build of your body. I love it at every stage I have seen it at & every stage it will go through for the rest of our lives. You are the most handsome man in the entire world & I have never been so hot for someone. I am so unbelievably attracted to you. & I know I say it all the time but we would have the CUTEST babies. & one day we will. 🙂

I admire your ambition in life, your self discipline, your commitment, your drive, the way you set your goals & reach them impresses me endlessly. I admire your intellect. I admire the way your brain is a literal sponge for information & I admire your desire to seek it. Your open-mindedness is so attractive to me. The way you look at things from different perspectives & consider things through a different lens than your own. The humility I know you have, to accept if you’re wrong about something & learn from that. You are one of the smartest people I know. & I am always learning something new from you, & better yet, about you.

I could never get tired of learning about you, & more than anything I’m honoured to be so close to you that I will witness your growth. An amazing person who always strives to better themselves in every arena. That’s who you are. You’re a person who wants to learn something, & sets out & does just that with the attitude that you can do it if you set your mind to it. Your positive attitude & refusal to settle for mediocrity or dwell in self defeat while remaining humble is a kind of balance I rarely ever see in others. You’re the kind of person I’m proud & grateful to walk beside. Who inspires me to also work towards being the best version of myself, for my own happiness & growth but so that you can be proud to walk beside me too.

& though this isn’t about me, it would be unjust to speak of all the beautiful things about you, & not talk about how it feels to be loved by you.

Your emotional intelligence & empathy knows no bounds. The way you cater to my every want & need is something that I am still trying to get used to. I know you’re not a perfect person. No one is. But at the peak of my resentment of romantic feelings & love, you love me in a way that opens me up & compels me to let down my defences & accept the love, affection & adoration you have for me. You’ve told me more than once “you’ll never have to be alone in dealing with your emotions again” & every single time I’ve needed you, even when it means sacrificing your sleep, you are there for me, holding my hand in my worst moments, understanding that I am separate from my mental illness but still handling me & it with the most tender & loving care. Ever since I can remember I have been convinced that I am hard to love, yet, you tell & show me that loving me is easy. I have never felt devotion anything close to the devotion you have for me. Every single day you remind me I am the prettiest girl in the world, your special girl, your baby girl, your princess, your love, your one & only, your soulmate & your baby. You keep me in my feminine & it heals me, & I want nothing more than to honour & cherish you in your masculine in hopes of helping you heal too. You are the kind of person who not only roots for my success, but would be happy if I even succeeded you. You never let me forget you are my #1 fan. My biggest supporter. The love of your life just as you are mine. You take care of me in a way that feeds a part of my soul I never realised was hungry to be loved the way you love me. I cannot state enough how taken care of I feel by you. How seen & understood I feel by you. The way that you love all parts of me, the good & the bad, the happy & the hurt, I can never express to you the depth of gratitude I have for you. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life showing you just that.

Now this is kind of a cheesy Twilight quote, but there really are no other words I have to say this - I am unconditionally & irrevocably in love with you. You are my soulmate. I was a lock that was fine with never finding my key & even preferred it, until you came along. & even then you took your time with me. You went at my pace. You respected every single time I got scared & pulled away, & patiently waited until I felt safe again, remaining there with open arms for me. 3 years I spent with my heart locked up never finding anyone truly worthy of the love I hid deeply inside. Then you came into my life, showing me what love truly is. How it should feel. Treating my heart like it’s made of glass. How could I not let you in? How could I remain cold towards you when you have had nothing but adoration, love & patience for me? When all you desire is to provide consistency, peace & happiness in my life? Jeff, my love. You are one of the most beautiful people I have ever come across. There is no one that could ever replace you. You are the one key to my lock. I’ll say it again, you’ll never know the depth of my gratitude for you. I am not putting you on a pedestal. I know you’re flawed just like I am. I just want you to know how much & I love you despite that & why. After all, this is a love letter to you.

I am uncertain about many things but never about this; my soul has loved you since time immemorial & will for eternity.

❤️ Your Anne.

This melts my heart reading it how did I get so lucky to have a woman like you so in love with me as I am with you. I will savor the warm embrace of your love and the future we will build together. I love you so much and will look forward to the growth we share in this path of life. I love you with all my heart my love 🥰

[hoyatype]

I’d like to leave you all with a parting dare: break a habit. Not necessarily a bad habit—it could be something you automatically do that you don’t really need to. Try leaving that undone. Look in a place that you usually overlook. Break a habit. See what happens.

Remember, one way of breaking a habit is to start a new one. Commitment to writing can sometimes feel estranging, boring, or even threatening; more extraverted actions often seem more tempting or significant. But really, writing can move us closer to the world: it can make us deeper listeners and keener observers. So if you’re looking for a sign, here it is: keep going, day by day. Keep writing. See what happens.

from a pseudonymous patron of 750 words

in order to carve out more emptiness in my life—emptiness that can be filled with reading and reflection and writing—i’ve left or muted a lot of groupchats. i’m already hardly on social media except to arrange plans with friends on ig. i haven’t quit these chats on bad terms, just told everyone i need a bit more focus and i’ll be back soon.

and i think it’s good for me, and i’m still messaging people 1:1, but still i wake up with an immense feeling of loneliness because there are no notifications. there’s no gc going off with 100 messages from the early morning gmt/cet timezones. and i wake up to a surreal feeling of silence.

i’m breaking the habit of waking up and spending my entire day messaging people. it’s not a bad habit and in some ways it’s my most cherished habit; it’s sustained friendships that are over a decade long, some of them very long distance friendships that have carried me through difficult times.

but it’s a habit i’d like to try leaving undone. i just want to see what happens. i want to see what happens when i can’t constantly externalise my thoughts and process them with others, when other people’s lives aren’t continually intruding upon my time even when i’m alone, when i’m not inviting disruption after disruption into my life.

and yes—commitment to writing can sometimes feel estranging, boring, or even threatening. maybe i would add: pathetic. because it does feel a bit pathetic to wake up alone and go to sleep alone and spend an evening in silence sometimes and feel fully content with that, actually, because i’ve been writing!—but then an anxious, tremulous part of my mind begins asking: but should i feel content? isn’t there something pathetic about spending an evening alone—especially knowing that all my friends are chatting with each other and going to raves and parties together (in detroit, in london) and here i am in a room alone and i am writing.

and i need to tell myself that my friends know who i am and love me for who i am…i’m not going to lose them if i don’t devote all my time to talking to them. i can decline one invitation and show up another time. i can be far away for months or years and still be significant in someone’s life.

and what friendship needs most is a kind of independence, a strength of character that each person works consciously to attain, the ability to commit to things that are deeply and specifically important to the self, and admire that same commitment in others.

and what i need most is to not be dependent on the validation and encouragement of my friends, which is deeply appreciated but can also come too easily. i don’t need to see everyone, speak to everyone, every single day to feel loved and part of a community. but i do need to write (nearly) every single day, or think about my writing, or arrange my life so i have the empty space for writing, every single day in order to have a writing practice. and i need the practice to do the work i want. and it’s an unyieldingly difficult battle to have a writing practice and a fairly demanding day job (in a field i worked hard to get into, so i’m not giving it up!) and be truly sensitive and devoted to my loved ones. and the day job and the loved ones will ask for what they need from me. my writing won’t. it’s far easier to let it languish.

so i will let myself be a little bit lonely, intentionally create the conditions of loneliness even—not too much; just enough so i can hear myself think and write within that silence.

[itsapeterthing]

hey!! i was wondering if you could do something with reader being married to Shang-Chi. It could go however you like. Maybe a bit angsty?😁 Thank uu!

Live a Lie || Shang-Chi

summary: when you find a video of your husband shaun fighting on a bus, you have a lot of questions about your husband’s past that he had been keeping a secret for far too long

a/n: the fic refers to him as shaun at times because that’s what reader’s known him as for the past decade

word count: 2.4k

warnings: shang-chi spoilers, mentions of shang-chi’s past and being trained as a killer, angst

masterlist || taglist

“Who the hell are you?”

Shaun halted in the doorway of your shared apartment, his conversation with Katy being cut short as he watched you hold up a video on your phone of him fighting on the bus not even an hour before.

He had always been afraid of this moment. A part of him had always known that it was inevitable that you would find out about his past and everything that he had been keeping from you someday.

It had always nagged him at the back of his mind. Shang-Chi knew he was selfish. He knew he should’ve told you, but he never wanted to lose what he had with you. Every time your relationship progressed he told himself that this would be the time he would finally open up to you and be honest, but every single time he thought about the betrayal he saw on your face now and told himself he would tell you “someday”.

Well... “someday” had now caught up with him.

“Okay, Y/n, hear me out-” he attempted to ease you, sticking his arms out in front of him.

“So what?” You raised your voice. “So you could lie to me some more?”

“I think I’m just gonna...” Katy mumbled, grabbing hold of your front door. “I’ll just wait outside.”

When the door shut behind her, Shaun made his way towards you, but you backed up with every step.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Your husband attempted to ease you. “If you let me explain-”

“I think you’ve had plenty of time to explain, Shaun.” You spat, throwing your phone onto your bed. “We’re married and somehow I can’t understand why the hell those- those fucking soldier guys would come after you or why you could kick their ass like you’re Captain America or-”

“My name’s not Shaun.”

Putting your tirade on pause, you glanced up at the Shaun- or whoever the hell he was- in shock.

How could you not even know your own husband’s name?

“What?”

You watched as the man in front of you became small, his arms that had been held up in defense dropping to his sides and the breath you hadn’t even known he was holding in, escaping past his lips.

“It’s Shang-Chi.” He said, eyes still focused on you. “When I... when I ran away I changed it.”

You couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. This had to be one insane prank that had gone on for far too long or something. Maybe you were dreaming? Maybe you hit your head too hard?

It was just impossible to believe that the man you had known for the past ten years, fallen deeply in love with and committed your life to had a past that you never even knew about- a past that he had managed to hide from you for so long.

Did he even care?

“Do you even love me?” You asked finally, not entirely sure you wanted an answer to the question. “Or am I just part of your lie?”

If you thought Shaun- no- Shang-Chi had looked small before, you felt as though you watched the man crumble before you.

Shang-Chi thought that he had known guilt before but as he heard the question fall from your mouth, he felt as though his heart had fell through to his stomach and if he didn’t hold himself up, he would sink right through the floor beneath him.

He felt sick.

Shang-Chi loved you more than he could possibly put into words- finding a new reason every day to admire you and count himself lucky that he got to call you his. You had never truly questioned his allegiance to you, but now as he watched you try not to break down in front of him, wondering if he even cared,  Shang-Chi felt inexplicably guilty.

“Of course I love you.” He said desperately, striding over towards you. “I did it to keep us safe. Trust me, Y/n, I never wanted to hurt you.”

You wanted to believe him so, so badly, but how could you know it wasn’t just another excuse?

“Shaun...” You sighed, shaking your head. “I can’t just take that. You’ve been lying to me for years. How could you marry me and not even tell me your name?”

You had every right to be upset and he understood that, but he also knew that regardless of the outcome- time had run out. He needed to tell you the truth. He understood now that he would rather have you walk away thinking his life was just too crazy for you to handle than you walk away thinking he was a traitor- that everything you shared was a lie.

Without a word, Shang-Chi sat himself down on the edge of your shared bed in your quaint apartment, resting his head in his hands. Not knowing what else to do with yourself, you joined him, sitting at a distance from your husband but still facing him, ready to hear what he had been hiding for so long nonetheless.

“I don’t really know where to start...” He sighed, dragging his hands down his face before folding them in his lap.

“Try the beginning?” You suggested irritably.

“Kind of hard to go over a thousand years of stuff.” He said, chucking dryly.

“What do you mean?”

“Well...” He shrugged. “My dad’s like a thousand years old. Seriously- he’s been alive for centuries.”

He had to be joking right?

“Are you fucking kidding me, Shaun?” You exploded, tossing one of the throw pillows on your bed at him angrily. “How stupid do you think I am? This is serious-”

“I am being serious!” Your husband raised his voice back at you without a hint of a smile on his face. “What makes that so crazy when some purple, alien guy just dusted half the earth five years ago? Or- or how there’s some sorcerer dude who can freeze time and see into the future? My dad’s just like that, Y/n, except he’s not one of the good guys!” Slowing himself, Shang-Chi took a deep breath before continuing. “Or at least he’s not anymore after my mom died.”

Taken back by his outburst and confession that his past was more complicated than the average person’s you shut your mouth and sat back on the bed, grabbing one of the pillows beside you and holding onto it tightly as if to anchor you to any sense of the reality you had known.

“He had been like this before he met my mom, but he was never like this when she was alive. It’s like she kept him human, you know?” He explained, glancing up at you. “After... after she died, he started training me.”

“Training you?” You asked.

“To fight.” He replied, before gesturing towards your phone on the other side of the bed. “Like you saw in that video. He trained me to never lose and…”

“And?”

“And to be a killer.”

At his confession, you felt your heart stop in your chest and the world around you come to a screeching halt.

“Shaun,” You began, afraid to receive an answer once again. “Did you kill someone?”

When your husband refused to meet your eyes, his focus instead drawn to his hands in his lap, you got your answer.

It felt as though the air had left your body and you shuddered at the silence in the room. You loved him. You cared for him. You thought you knew him better than anyone else in the world and the whole time he had a past he had locked away, hoping you would never find the key.

“How long ago?” You finally found the courage to ask.

Suddenly Shang-Chi understood what you meant and looked up at you.

“Woah wait,” He said, reaching his hands out towards you. “You think I killed someone recently?” He asked in disbelief.

“I don’t know what to believe, Shaun.” You reasoned with him. “You just told me your dad’s a thousand years old and you’ve been a trained killer since you were eight.”

Shaking his head adamantly, he continued.

“I don’t do that anymore.” He said calmly. “It was one time before I met you and that’s when I knew I had to run away.”

Listening to everything your husband was telling you… it was a lot to take in.

The person that you had thought you had known for a good decade of your life just revealed to you that his whole past was a lie and you didn’t know what to do with that information quite yet.

“Are you the same man I married?” You asked, fiddling with the band around your ring finger and glancing up at your husband.

Without missing a beat, Shang-Chi reached out his hand for you and rested it against your thigh, surprised when you didn’t pull away from his touch.

“I know I lied about my past.” He said squeezing gently. “But everything after I met you was the truth, okay? I know that I made up my past, but that doesn’t change who I am. I’m the same person you used to pass notes to in class and come visit from school on the weekends and… and married… that’s all me. Everything you know about me is true. That person before? That’s not me- not anymore.”

It was a lot to take in, but despite all of that, you knew he was telling you the truth. Shaun- or Shang-Chi- was the most genuine person you had ever met and you knew that it couldn’t have all been fake. You knew he cared about you- you felt in your gut that he cared about you- and that couldn’t be misplaced by a revelation of his past that he hadn’t chosen.

It wouldn’t be easy, and you knew forgiveness still wasn’t in your cards at the moment, but you understood and that was enough for now.

“So...” You said, meeting his eyes. “What do we do now?”

“Well...” He said, pushing himself off the bed and making his way over to your dresser before shuffling through the drawers. “I have to go find my sister and tell her that those guys are coming for her next.”

You felt your heart stop in your chest once again and you were sure you were going to have a heart attack by the end of the conversation if there were any further revelations to be made on your husband’s part.

“You have a sister?” You asked in disbelief, following him to where he stood.

Finally finding the postcard he had been searching for between his socks, he placed it in your hand and pointed at the address on the back.

“Her name’s Xialing.” He informed you. “You know that necklace I wore all the time?”

You nodded.

“Yeah, well those men came after me for it and took it.” Shaun said. “My sister has one just like it so they’ll be coming for her next. I need to go there and warn her.”

“To Macau?” You asked, flipping the postcard over in your hands as Shang-Chi rushed around your tiny apartment, packing his gym bag. “Shaun, how do you even know she’s there? This says basically nothing on it.”

“I just know, okay?” He said, zipping up the bag.

“Wait.” You said, rushing over to his side. “You’re going now?”

“I have to.” He said, slipping the strap of the duffle over his shoulder. “I know it’s bad timing but I have to get to her first, Y/n. As soon as I’m back you can rip into me- I deserve it- but you have to let me-”

“Shaun, stop.”

When you cut him off mid-speech, Shang-Chi shut his mouth immediately.

“Just let me pack my bag, okay?” You told him.

Just as you were about to go retrieve your own bag, you felt your husband’s hand grip your arm.

“What do you mean you’re getting your bag?” He asked, tilting his head.

“Isn’t it obvious?” You said. “I’m coming with you.”

And with that you shrugged off his hand and started your own mission around the room to collect your things.

Shang-Chi had to admit that he was shocked. He expected you to shout at him- leave him even- but the last thing he could have possibly dreamed of was that you would join him on his mission to go save his sister that you hadn’t even known existed until two minutes ago.

“You’re coming?” Shang-Chi asked in shock.

“Of course, I’m coming.” You said shoving your charger in your bag before zipping it. “We’re married.”

“Well I just figured-”

“Figured what?” You asked, placing your hands on your hips. “That I wouldn’t want to go on a superhero kind of mission with my husband and meet my long lost sister-in-law? You’re doing kind of a bad job proving that you care about me, Shaun, it’s like you don’t even know me.”

Were you teasing him?

“I doubt my sister will be happy to see me.”

“Good.” You said, slinging your own bag over your shoulders. “We already have something in common then.”

Shang-Chi had to admit that despite your biting tone, he was glad to have you by his side and that even after everything you were still willing to tag along with him for the crazy journey he was suddenly being dragged into.

Just like every other day spent with you, he counted himself lucky to have you.

Slowing down for a brief moment, Shang-Chi reached his hand out for yours and squeezed it tightly.

“Thank you.”

Glancing up and catching the sincerity in your husband’s eyes, you squeezed his hand back and sighed.

“Don’t thank me.” You told him. “I haven’t forgiven you yet.”

“I know,” he said, pressing a soft kiss against your forehead. “Just... thank you for even trying to understand. That’s enough.”

Nodding along with what he said, you tried to center yourself in the moment. Taking a deep breath, you took in the silence of your apartment, the sounds of the city and Katy’s whistling outside your door and the feeling of Shang-Chi’s hands in yours- the greatest amount of peace you could ask for in a time like this.

After you had committed every bit of it to memory, you told yourself you were ready.

“Remember how you said we’d go on a vacation someday to make up for not having a honeymoon?” You asked.

“Yeah?” He chuckled, not understanding where exactly you were headed with this.

Squeezing his hand one last time, you looked up at him and smiled.

“Well what are we waiting for then?” You said, nudging him towards the door. “We got one hell of a trip ahead of us.”

[beels-burger-babe]

I Burn For You

***So THIS has been stuck in my head all day and I just- I love it. I love it so much. And it reminded me...So you guys all know how I hate/love Lucifer...it gave me those vibes. So........... Well I haven't written anything actually relevant to The Facade of the Suitor or anything else that I've been procrastinating, I have been able to push out this little short inspired by this beauty of a duet that is EVERYTHING to me. -B***

Summary: Since MC's arrival, Lucifer and them have never fully gotten along. There was always a large, unknown and undiscussed tension between them and they were fine to keep it that way. But when MC's security in the Devildom is threatened by both the angels and the nobility of the Devildom itself, everything changes. As a ruse to persuade the celestial realm, MC and Lucifer wed. After the ceremony, they finally talk about the unacknowledged feelings burning inside of both of them.

MC x Lucifer

The air hung heavy and thick like the gold bands that now decorated both of your fingers.

You and Lucifer stood on opposite sides of the room, your backs facing one another with nothing but silence between you.

You couldn't help but reminisce on how you got here, on your supposed 'honeymoon' married to none other but the prideful, arrogant, avatar of sin, Lucifer Morningstar himself.

Diavolo had burst into the House of Lamentation an entire month ago. He desperately explained how the angels had received word about you through the fond, innocent-intending, stories of Luke and we're demanding that you be 'released' from your 'imprisonment in the infernal Devildom and that they wished to cleanse you of the 'hellish corruption' the demons had 'forced upon you' through your pacts. Wanting to avoid yet another Celestial War, even on a small scale, the noble court had wanted to agree and simply hand you over to them, cut your pacts, and banish you from returning as an act of agreement and co-operation with the angels.

Obviously, this didn't sit well with you or any of the brothers.

You had all tried to come up with a number of plans, but they all promised retaliation from the angels.

Eventually, it was Lucifer himself who begrudgingly came up with the final plan. The angels wouldn't believe you if you simply told them that you liked it here and wanted to stay. They'd think you were charmed or manipulated. However, if the two of you worked together, and pretended to be in a relationship, convince the angels of your 'genuine' feelings and prove to them that you were in love, and finalize this by marrying Lucifer, it just might work.

First of all, love was something that had sparked war in the past, that both sides had learned from and had grown to deeply treasure and value. Secondly, Micheal, head Archangel of the Celestial Realm, trusted Lucifer the most of all the brothers. The two of you could take advantage of that use it to convince him that you were actually safer in the Devildom by Lucifer's side. And finally, if you were willingly bound by marriage, there was very little that the Celestial Realm could do to force you to leave.

The plan wasn't terrible, but there was one thing about it that caused you to clench your fists and grind your teeth: it was with Lucifer.

Lucifer who constantly teased you and pushed your buttons in a way that he knew would cause you to either give in to him or snap.

Lucifer who was cruel and sadistic and did nothing unless there was some personal gain or it was under the demand of his precious Diavolo.

Lucifer who never ever put anything before his own stupid pride.

Though you were normally a calm and positive person, there was just something about Lucifer that had always caused an inferno of anger and rebellion to burn within you. You felt this strong need to constantly prove him wrong and to defy him.

As a result, the two of you consistently butted heads, arguing about Lucifer's treatment of his brothers and your recklessness on an almost weekly basis.

The idea of being chained to this...this demon for the rest of your mortal life caused your stomach to twist tightly into knots. Though, if it ensured you'd be able to stay with the rest of your found family? You'd make the necessary sacrifice.

So the two of you did the whole show. You went on dates, smiled and laughed together as though you were the lead roles in a Hallmark Christmas movie, and played every card in the book to convince the angels that you were safe and happy under the kind watch of your lover.

Those weeks had started off painful, as you pushed back all feelings of disdain for the eldest brother to play the role of the perfect partner. But as time passed, you hadn't noticed that it had become easier and easier to stay by his side. The smiles you gave him were no longer forced, but sincere ones that brought joy. The lines between what was real and what was fake began to blur.

You sealed the deal with your wedding only a few hours ago.

The vows Lucifer had spoken...promising to watch and protect you even as your skin wrinkled and your hair grew grey. To hold your hand and aid you when you no longer had the strength. To shower you in love and devotion even in your final hours.

They had been spoken with such passion and raw emotion that you didn't dare think too deeply about. It had caused your breath to catch in your throat, and you had to remind yourself that this was all an act. Soon the curtain would close, and Lucifer would return to the cold-hearted monster that you knew.

Yet even now, hours after the ceremony had finished, you couldn't get that intense gaze, and the sparks that exploded under your fingertips as his hands gently squeezed yours, out of your head.

Lucifer sighed from the other side of the room and glanced over at you. "Are we just going to continue ignoring each other?"

You scoffed and turned your head further away; ignoring the loud pounding of your heart and instead focusing on the flickers of frustration licking up your gut. "What else are we supposed to do? There's no one else around. The act is over."

You whirled around at his sarcasm and could practically feel the wrath blazing behind your eyes. "Sorry, my Lord, if I'm not exactly giddy about the fact that I just signed myself to the likes of you just for the approval of some fluffy winged assholes!"

You could practically hear Lucifer roll his eyes as he walked over to the liquor cart and poured himself a drink. "Right. So you just plan to spend the entirety of the weekend that Micheal paid for us brooding in a corner? How mature of you."

Lucifer, the fucker, had the gull to act unphased and casually swirled his drink in his hand. "It could be much, much worse," he took a sip of the amber liquid before staring down in his glass. "It's not as though you didn't agree to this."

"Only because I didn't want to be kicked out of the Devildom and never allowed to see your brothers again!" You growled. Your anger only grew as you noticed him clench his fingers tighter around the glass. You groaned and ran a hand through your hair. "This was a stupid plan! You probably just invented this entire ruse as yet another way to get under my skin. Well congratulations, Lucifer. You win!"

You refused to look at him, as you turned your heated gaze out the window.

You didn't see the flash of hurt that washed over his expression, nor hear the way his breath caught in his throat. "Is being married to me truly that awful? Are you honestly telling me that you haven't enjoyed even a single second of this past month?"

You tensed and crossed your arms over your chest, as you continued to avoid looking at him. "What kind of question is that? You're a demon who cares about nothing but himself," you pursed your lips and mentally tried to deny just how wrong those words felt on your tongue.

"I wouldn't say that's true. Believe it or not, I do care for my brothers." There was a shaky breath, one so uncharacteristic for the confident Morningstar, before he continued. "And you. I did promise to love you until your final breath after all, and I do not break my promises."

There was silence once again. Though this quiet seemed to crackle with the anticipation for something, though neither of you quite knew what.

You closed your eyes, refusing to acknowledge the flutter in your heart at his words. "Those vows were only part of the act. They weren't real."

"Perhaps not for you," your eyes snapped open at the response. You looked back at the demon. Lucifer stood leaning against the wall, drink still in hand, as he stared intensely at the floor. "This may have all been an act for you, MC, but it stopped being a ruse for me mere hours after we began."

You felt yourself frown as you stared at him. Your traitor heart dared to grow warm with hope, only adding fuel to the growing frustration inside you. "You're lying. You're just trying to get me worked up again."

"Actually, I'm not," his eyes met yours and it felt as though time froze. His expression was so unguarded, so honest. For once, you looked into his eyes and you could see every emotion that he wore openly before you. You could see the hurt, the certainty, and most of all the same passionate love that shone so brightly in them throughout the ceremony. "From the moment I met you, you caused a fire to ignite in my heart. I was determined to control you and to make you be the human representative for Diavolo. But then, you acted against me, and that changed. I still wanted to make sure that you fulfilling your purpose in the exchange program, but I took on the challenge of finally having you respect and listen to me. You were stubborn and fierce, yet so beautifully driven and I admired that." your eyes widened at the admission. "It wasn't until I was forced to look at you in a romantic light for this scheme that I understood the true nature of these feelings. It wasn't that I wanted to control you, or break you, or shape you into what I needed. It was so much deeper, so much more dangerous than that. I wanted to have you fall in love for me, as I had fallen for you, and make you mine."

He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "I know you don't feel the same. I've accepted that. But I...I'm done with acting like this isn't real for me. I refuse to pretend that there's nothing there between us any longer."

He finally broke eye contact, looking back at his now empty glass as you practically gaped at him. Love. Lucifer...loved you? You gulped and took a step towards him, "Lucifer..."

The fire burning within you consumed you as your face heated up. "You...You love me? You actually love me?"

You flinched as he glared sharply at you. "Don't rub it in."

You didn't know what to make of that. You weren't sure what to make of any of this. Your feelings towards Lucifer had changed over the past month, but you had assumed that was simply part of the act. But if everything he had done and said as you two were pretending to be a couple was real, then what did that mean for you?

What did that mean for the way the sight of him caused your heart to skip? Or the way his rare smiles never failed to make you smile back? Or the unwavering sense of comfort and security that he provided?

What did that mean for the ruthless, scalding fire that he had always caused to rage inside you? You always assumed it was anger, but what if...

You gasped in realization. "I burn for you."

The demon tensed as he blinked in confusion. "You...I'm sorry, you what?"

You moved closer to him, each step more certain than the last, as you shakily spoke the words that rang through you. "I burn for you, Lucifer. I don't know entirely what it means myself, but ever since we met you've caused this irrational passion and drive to sear inside of me. I-I had always assumed it was hatred. You're so infuriating. Every word you speak does nothing but cause that fire to flare brighter within in. Every action leaves me filled with sparks of restless energy that won't be satiated until I combust at you," as you now stood nearly toe to toe with him, you grabbed his hand and placed it over your roaring heart. Hope flickered like a candle in the darkness of his black eyes. "I had thought that this couldn't be anything other than anger and hatred. I refused to believe even the possibility that it could be anything else. But this past month you...you were honest and almost kind and vulnerable. Your teasing didn't make me want to punch you, but rather made me laugh. You showed me a side of you that I didn't even know existed. I...I think-"

You were cut off by a finger on your lips. Lucifer looked down at you with a stern, cold expression. The action paired with that face would've caused you to become infuriated by his audacity and superiority complex in the past. But now you could see past it, and could see it for what it truly was: a carefully crafted barrier that hid his most vulnerable feelings and protected him. "If you do not mean the words you were about to say, if you are pitying me, I must demand that you stop here. Do not say those words unless you truly mean them," his deep voice was tinged with distrust and caution.

You held his gaze as you kissed the pad of the finger against your lips and whispered gently, "Lucifer, I think that I love you."

Suddenly your lips were captured in his as he pulled you close and ever so adoringly cupped your face. For the first time since meeting him, the flames inside you were extinguished by the cold touch of his hands on your face and the surprising gentleness of his affection.

His hand slid from your face and came to rest on your shoulder as his eyes widened. His gaze scanned your expression for any traces of falsehood or insincerity. You could hear the breath leave his lungs as he found none.

He softly kissed his temple, effectively hiding his face as it grew redder and whispered, "Of course, beloved."

Lucifer laughed as he pulled away, his thumb caressing your cheek, as he smiled. "To think it only took us getting married to realize it," you laughed as you felt happy tears prick the corners of your eyes. Lucifer sighed in content as rested his forehead against yours. "Remind me to send a thank you to, Micheal."

You hummed and nuzzled closer to him as you rested your head on his shoulder. "Forget Micheal. He's still an asshole as far as I'm concerned. Instead, focus on me. On us. I want to learn everything about you, about the real you," you smiled as he looked down at you with flushed cheeks. "My husband, Lucifer Morningstar."

You couldn't help but wonder how you had been so oblivious to your true feelings as a shiver ran down your spine and warmth spread throughout your chest simultaneously.

This honest and pure love between the two of you, was new, yet it felt so familiar, and it was abundantly clear to both of you that the depth of those feelings would only become clearer and clearer in time as the fires of your love only grew.

***Gasp. I actually finished something. Would you look at that. Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this little fic! Thank you so much for your support during my hiatus and for being so understanding. I love you guys! Thanks again for reading!***

Taglist: @thegrimgrinningghost @henry-and-the-seven-lords @satans-beloved-riv @cosmixbun @sufzku @lovelymushi @victoireshaven @obey-mes-treasure @kissed-by-a-dementor @yukihaie @justtiarra @mammoneybb @obeys-world @poly-bi-mf @armycandy10 @burrixino

[danger-noodle-uwu]

This is a pretty graphic idea I had but I understand if you don’t want to do it or find it too triggering.

I want to request hc’s of the Brothers + Datables (but if you do the Brothers and Datables separately than just the Brothers please) reacting to MC being summoned but MC’s covered in blood and holding a weapon like a bat or knife, because they massacred their abusive family and they don’t feel bad about it at all. Mc’s pretty emotionally hollow and they don’t show much reaction or fear to dangerous situations either since the Bros do start off threatening and rude but they relate to Mammon since he’s emotionally abused by his Bros and physically punished by Lucifer.

This is only if you feel comfy doing it and I apologize if I broke the rules and making you find it very triggering and disturbing

Trigger warning!

Mentions of blood/murder/abuse

Do not proceed if sensitive

Lucifer

At the summoning part, Lucifer would be merely worried about what type of student has diavolo choosen, pitying his taste. Though he was but a demon, weary and skittish around you.

The Avatar of pride scared of mere human?

(Though he kinda was)

Blood being spilled on the floor was common in devildom yet he was unfazed.

But now, things are different and he can't help to worry about how this weak creature will influence on his brothers.

the fallen-morningstar tried to keep you away from the entire of his brothers including himself.

He also made sure that never was anything that could be used as a potential weapon surround you.

Often the man would receive rather harsh words from you and get somewhat hurt. Yet , not a single cry reach your ears.

(Que enemies to lovers dynamic)

When the pair started dating, the raven-haired demon had already known the past and what it once held for mc...

Oh how much he wishes, he helped you instead of interrogating every movement, to regain the 'you' that your parents killed. So, he will find a solution. To find those rascals in the realm of spirits or demons and put them once again at your mercy.

Prepare yourself Mc. For a whole month of pampering and love as he will never dare repeat the mistake he made.

Mammon

As the story is, Mammon didn't encounter you first but only heard melody of your voice.

The first meet was unforgettable, he was petrified to see the blood dripping off your slender bruised figure.

One thought that he was scared however, No he was anything but scared. He had thought you were the one hurt like--you know h-how Lucifer hurts him.

He rushed towards you but was stopped by the eldest saying " They aren't hurt." And this was the first person tried who befriend you.

When your words were sweetly aimed at him and just HIM. He'd feel his heart beat racing like crazy which made him believe he thought you found him special.

He was never honest with anyone, until you showed up. His biggest fear was snapping because of the mean comments his brothers pass and you had probably done something similar.

He wanted to know. Though dense he may seem, he hoped you'd tell him.

Was it scary? Do you feared this before? Is it still scary? Do you feel emotions after this?

Yet he never asked...

When the greedy Boi and mc started dating, they told everything about their condition. Of how they snapped.

He was the most understanding of his brothers and promised to never let another one harm you. Not even you.

He loved even more since that day. Not to mention 1323433454455686 'I love you's per day.

Leviathan

Blabbering lord knows what, Leviathan had stepped out of his room even if that was to scold mammon and get his money back.

He obviously knew about the exchange program but what he didn't know was that bloody murderer would be part of it!!!

He wasn't moving when he saw the numb expression you wore and the bloody knife you had held.

Inside, he was scared shitless but he didn't know how to show it.

A mere-human had terrified The great admiral of hell's navy. What shame he was.

"Oi cut it out!" Yelled the scummy yet kind demon protectively moving between the two.

In the beginning, he felt unsafe only by your gaze and refusing to make eye contact.

And then, a good day to exit to his room. The true reason being the pearly raindrops that had littered the gardens of HOL.

He saw you... soaking wet smiling and hurting... shining brightly though it felt dim.

That day. That dammed day. He found out who truly were. A beautiful person who was just hurting and breaking.

Since then, he has been a mix of a nagging mother but also shy as if a touch-me-not.

Dating him was heavenly, he wasn't shy with touch yet words were a whole another thing to him.

He always left 'Love you's in the chats and reminders on your phone that were just a bunch of 'eat healthy' 'stay safe', etc.

And this was certain that his love will never end.

Satan

Snatching the bat from your hands, the blonde-man threatened to kill you with your own weapon if you dared to move.

And that's exactly what you wanted... to die... to end the suffering...

And he saw it.

Saw how horribly you were hurting, he knew what it felt however, he couldn't lose his composure not in front of his brothers.

Wrath is a storm which is followed by pain. He knew this. Same in your case except pain knocked the doors first.

He knew it was too early for asking. So, he kept his mouth shut. Not wishing to hurt you any further though he didn't know why he felt this way.

When you finally finished your 2nd month in your new home, things had changed as the Avatar of wrath often talked to you not about how bloody you arrived or you had killed but are you okay now?

His words were soft. So sweet.

Each time he would offer you his shoulder to cry on, you would feel your heart slowly warm up. Slightly more each-time.

Soon enough you started dating the green-eyed pact demon of yours, recalling the long lost feeling of warmth and love.

The knowledgeable one loved to show physical affection especially in front of his brothers.

Oh~ the smell of their burning envy, when he kissed the nape of your neck and complimented you.

Post-its were his favorite though.

He would often write 'Love you, kitten' 'take break,love' 'you look amazing today',etc.

Asmodues

He yelped when he saw a bloodied figure emerge from the purple haze. Are they okay?

He was concerned only till a knife was spotted next your seemingly heartless figure. Now, he was somewhat hiding behind satan in disgusted yet anxious way.

You gaze deeply disturbed him to an extent he even had nightmares of you ripping him open with same knife and had that soul-less expression.

He much like Leviathan refused to see you after the encounter but what was different, was the course of events...

He saw you arguing with Lucifer, for you refused let him hurt Mammon who curled behind you.

Asmo felt pity for you as he knew the outcome of an argument with the eldest.

"Lucifer don't hurt him, please. He already has enough bruises" Asmo says giving his sweet brother Luci the puppy eyes, hoping they would work. (Yeah they didn't)

But nonetheless Luci~ still backed out and left the hallway.

You rush for the poor injured demon, he is crying while thanking you for the save.

And there for one moment, The lustful blond saw emotion in those glassy eyes of yours. It was beautiful and aching at the same time.

Making him greedy for more...

Later the very same day, he approached you finally asking the questions his head was haunted by.

What was weird? He didn't blame you for breaking instead he complimented you for being a survivor of such harsh tortures.

Accepting his confession was the best thing you ever did.

He is open with affection especially when you both are in public to show he is yours. You are his. You belong together.

for his hunger to see those pretty eyes shine with joy is endless, he makes Mc smile with happiness and love

Beelzebub

Famished as always was the sixth born. Especially after smelling human blood.

Little did he know the blood of the now dead parents of mc, the exchange student.

He wasn't even fazed unlike his brothers. He couldn't care any less than he did nor about the blood neither about the weapon clutched in your hands.

Even if you passed insults, he wouldn't mind. Sometimes, he asks why you dislike him? And is fine even if the answer is illogical. (Don't fuckin hate him)

Numb eyes. Tears flowing freely. Cuts. Bruises. Hurting. Dying inside.

The glutton wipes the sweat off his forehead remembering the condition of yours in that horrendous nightmare.

You looked awfully similar to belphi when- when s-she died. He blamed himself and hurt himself for being so useless. Just like you do.

And then realization hits--

YOU ARE HURTING!!

He now knew why your rude words didn't hurt him because you were like belphegor trying to protect your fragile heart.

Why you look numb? because you're trying to hide the pain. Push people away so you don't get hurt when they go away.

The following day, you were gently woken by the huge teddy bear. He held a hand out for you before taking you to his room for the special breakfast.

You teared upon the sight instantly realizing that he recognized your suffering. He apologized for not noticing earlier and from now, he will be there for you.

Never in the three realms did he think he'd fall for you? Maybe he had all along just didn't notice....

Once you begin dating the orange-head, he was ecstasic and cheerful all the time. Encouraging words followed you everywhere.

He would often eat the entire fridge out. So as apology, a cupcake with sorry written on it was placed on the kitchen counter. Other days, when he won't go such extreme, carrot chips or a poison apple etc. Waited for you.

Beely is the opposite of possessive. Protective. He is Protective and supports you through the ups and downs in life. He was your true savior. A savior who never judged you for your past.

His Love is the sky, you learned to fly in.

Belphegor

He had heard the tale of how the human exchange student had shown up covered in blood with a bat in hand.

Never did he believe that it was true until seeing the monotone figure of them.

The way they spoke made them like Lucifer. Emotionless. Heartless. Ruthless. Monster.

He wanted to strangle them on spot but he was stuck within the confines of the attic.

The sloth couldn't help passing comment making mc slowly reveal the aching heart of their own-self.

Expression faultered and he saw it--No, no more like felt it. The way their tears were swallowed. The way their voice turned monotone once again to cover what had already been seen.

However, the seventh born didn't say a word, he just showed affection through body language as they couldn't touch each other yet.

After he was free from the prison of an attic, he ran to you. His star. The one that guided him out to freedom.

It felt weird dating the lazy demon. Afterall, he was doing nothing other than shoving compliments in your face and dozing off here and there.

Few months pass and things become smoother than how they were.

Now, he always compliments you but softly and sweetly. Always willing to listen to whatever you wanna rant about.

"You are my true love, Mc. The star that guides to where I belong when I'm lost."

-------------------------------------------------------

Welp! That was long as hell. Anyway, thank you for the request. It kinda feels like you and my sister share the same brain cell cuz she said the same thing but like- mc ate their organs and more messy. God I hope you like it...

Good day!

[oh-katsuki]

Jealousy (Connie x Reader)

phases of love collab | masterlist

Pairing: Connie x Reader

Summary: You take Sasha’s place. 

Content Warnings: Implied aot ending spoilers, smut, angst, character death (reader), some fluff, romantic sex, slight cockwarming, drugs / alcohol

Word Count: 3.6k

A/N: This hurt me to write so I hope it hurts to read. Thank you so much to @dande-lion​ and @eremiie who beta-read this and gave me so many suggestions because I didn’t like the way I worded it. I would not have been able to be happy with this without you, ILYSM

For @mikaberries​ collab! Thanks for letting me participate!

Connie’d never loved like this before. He can’t recall a single time in his life that he’s felt so truly connected to someone, so deeply ingrained in someone else’s being that he doesn’t know who he’d be without them. 

Connie had you wrapped in his body, dick buried in you so deep and legs intertwined so gently. His delicate fingers sunk into your skin as one wrapped around your waist, the other around your head. There was nothing rough about tonight, nothing exemplary or particularly outstanding except for the fact that he was hopelessly in love with you. 

Connie was infatuated with you. He couldn’t get close enough, couldn’t feel enough of your skin against his as he fucked himself up into you with steady flicks of his hips. You felt so good around him, hips grinding to meet his with gentle moans. He wishes he could have this moment forever, wrap it up and keep it in his pocket so he can feel it whenever he needs to. The way your gummy walls hugged him or how you breathed in low and deep sighs with each of his thrusts. 

“So beautiful…” He exhaled against your skin, pulling back to take the hand from your head and run his thumb along the plump skin of your cheek. 

You gave him a lazy smile, eyebrows furrowed together in focus and pleasure as he leaned in to kiss you. It was delicate at first, pumping into you slowly, keeping up his sluggish pace. Connie was taking you in, appreciating the feel of your lips on his and the way you tasted like sweat and sex and something akin to cinnamon. 

Connie wasn’t working towards a goal, arm wrapped lazily around your body, sticky with sweat while he admired your feel.That was the best way to put it— he was simply letting you both admire each other’s feeling, whispering sweet nothings, he just wanted to love you. So he fucked into you languidly, mind clouded over and head spinning. 

He could remember clearly every moment like this he’d had with you and he was about to lock away this one with the first time he saw you, your first kiss, your first time. He doesn’t know why this moment in particular strikes him so deeply, but the way you look and your cunt fluttering around him has his heart swelling with love and pride. 

You’re his. 

There was nothing to be discontent with, no doubt seeded in his heart about another man, no jealousy bubbling in his gut. You were only his and he knew it, he could feel it in the desperate little sighs of his name as you came closer to your high, heat building in your stomach as the candle beside the bed dimmed as it burned through its wick. 

The two of you had been like this for hours, Connie unwilling to let you go until he’d felt you come undone around him so much that he’s all you think about— you’re all he thinks about. He was already all you thought about though, already taking up the most space in your mind even when you weren’t creaming around him. Still, you couldn’t complain, so wrapped in his smell and feel that you let him keep rutting his hips into you, arms looped around his body and fingers digging into the muscles of his back. 

But it’s true, Connie’s love for you was incredible and you felt it with every stroke of his big hand against you, in the way your skin buzzed as if it were whispering its own sweet words between his. Words of praise whispered over the pillow, lips brushing past each other’s ear to mumble quiet “I love you’s” that rattle through each other's bodies like coins down a well. 

When you finally came undone in a steady rise, like water bubbling delicately over the edge of a too-full container, you whimpered, teeth sinking into the muscle of his shoulder. Your legs trembled as he held you tightly, slowing his movements and letting you bury your face into him, looking for anything to ground you as your body rolled. 

Connie loved your voice, the whine of his name that spilled from your lips and the way your cunt clenched around him, pillowy and soft. He loved you and with that profound knowledge, soon met his own high with a stutter of his hips, cumming deep into you as he buried himself to the hilt. 

You stayed like that for a while, wrapped in each other, Connie unmoving within you as you panted against each other before your breathing fell into an even rhythm. How was he supposed to let you go? How could he be expected to pull out and let you pad to the toilet. It would only be a few minutes but he found himself dreading the moment you stirred in his arms. He’d let you meld yourself to him like this if it were possible. 

“You know that I’ve got to get up.” You chuckled into his chest, turning your head to glance to the nightstand. “And I’d like to get up before that candle burns through and I have to stumble through the dark.” 

It was growing dim, nearing the end of its life span as it casted a low light across the bedroom. Connie’s desk was faintly illuminated in the corner but you were focused on the way the light danced over his features, displaying the apples of his cheeks that rounded with his smile. 

“I know,” he sighed, pulling you closer, “just don’t wanna let you go right now.” 

“You big baby, it’s only a few minutes.” You say, peeling yourself from him and pulling him out of you gently. 

He was soft already, but the act itself was intimate and you could feel the way he started to spill out of you as you moved to the other side of the room, wrapping a robe around yourself before leaving the bedroom. 

Connie watched you as you left, admiring your hips and your figure as you receded into the darkness. How had he gotten so lucky? He somehow managed to snag the girl the entire regiment was crazy for, and– as you both moved through the ranks– managed to fall so irrevocably in love with you that he’s forgotten who he was without you. 

Still, he wouldn’t trade it for the world, wouldn’t trade you for the world. 

He was deep in thought by the time you returned to bed, discarding the robe and snuggling up beside his naked figure. 

Of all the things that had changed recently, you hadn’t. You remained the woman he loved more than anything, still smiling. He remembers the way you’d joke with your friends and squad, evenings spent laughing at a pub with all of the captains after your promotion. 

Every major event of his life had been spent with you and you both had made it out clean, more appreciative of the love you shared. Connie cherished every part of you, every fleeting moment with you. 

And he was certain that he’d do it for the rest of his life. 

---

They’d suspected that Eren had gone awol. That he’d gone off on his own. Connie should have stopped him, they could have talked some sense into him before he fled to Marley, attacking a congregation of world leaders and forcing the Scout Regiments hand. 

You both had separated so quickly, each moving away from each other in your own individual squadrons without so much as a stay safe. You both always did. Connie couldn’t have imagined that you’d be one of the six who didn’t make it home. 

He couldn’t have guessed that the child would sneak aboard the ship and point the rifle toward Sasha’s chest. But Connie could have predicted the way you jumped in front of her, moving before you had time to think to shield his best friend from the shot. 

Connie would never forget the look in your eyes as your blood seeped and pooled onto the cold floor of the airship, his warm hands pressed to your cooling chest, covered in a thick layer of your blood. You looked content, the same look you’d flash at him before any expedition. You were at peace and you smiled up at him. A far too pleased smile for someone who was slipping from Connie’s hands faster than he could process— faster than he wanted you to. How could you be smiling? He was losing you. 

 It was like you to take a shot for a friend. You always put your comrades before yourself like that.

You and Sasha were both brave that way, the only difference being that today, Sasha would return home to her lover and you would not. Your body would stay in the morgue for the night before they placed you six feet below the ground in a graveyard not far from where you lived. 

How is it that you could be so close so far away at the same time?  He’d never get to feel your body against his again, never hear your laugh that rings like chimes on a spring day, and looking at your grave after the funeral procession, he could only think about how quickly your blood had cooled on the floor of the airship. Connie stared at the fresh dirt under the headstone, trying to bring anything but your lifeless eyes to mind. He tried to think of your smile, of the crinkle in your eye whenever he’d say something stupid, but instead he was reminded of the uncharacteristically stiff way your body laid in the airship and the wan tone of your skin as your precious years drained from your face. 

---

As time passed jealousy bled into Connie’s life. Slowly at first, in the waning hours of the morning when he’d be awake and full of drink. He found himself thinking about you constantly, your picture flashing through his mind with startling clarity. 

He’d wake up in the middle of the night, grabbing at the sheets beside him– searching for you, wondering in his half asleep state where you’d gone, only to be reminded that this time you weren’t coming back to bed. You’d no longer take your trips to the bathroom and you were much farther away than a few minutes. Instead, he was reminded that he’d have to spend a lifetime without you. 

A lifetime without your presence. How unfathomable. So he buried himself in drink, in alcohol, in fighting a war he no longer had a reason to fight. It was bearable that way, his days without you. He was occupied. Working until his hands shook and his feet ached, then drinking to quell the pain. It was all he knew in those following days, working for a peace you’d never know, drinking to forget your time together, sleeping in hopes that he’d see you in another world. But the next world wasn’t for him. Life mercilessly kept him alive, despite his carelessness in the fight.

When the war finally ended and things came to a quiet halt, everything became harder. Eldia rebuilt its streets, patching up the wounds that battle had left on it, and with the power of the titans gone, Eldians were negotiating their terms of peace and fighting the good fight to total freedom. Connie found it difficult now to focus on anything but your absence. 

He’d move down the cobbled streets of Marley and be reminded of you at every turn, reminded of something you’d never get to see. He thought of your plans for the future and the way you’d agreed to marry him once peace finally came, but peace came and went without you. 

The summer months in Marley were the most beautiful. They brought couples and children and laughter. You’d have loved them. In between peace negotiations, Connie would let himself wander through the streets. Why he even bothered to go outside? He had no clue, but he still did it everyday without fail, wandering until he ended up in the same place he always did. He’d find a seat in the park and watch the couples, listening to the way the ocean sounded as it beat against the shore. 

It was supposed to make him feel better, supposed to remind him that things were okay now. But all he felt was unimaginable rage. A rage that grew brighter with each gust of wind and each rustle of leaves. Each happy chuckle of passing couples and each aimless laughter of stumbling children. Connie was jealous, perpetually and undeniably. 

He was jealous of the time the two of you never got. Jealous of the people who would spend their lifetimes with their lovers and get to cradle their children. Jealous of his own time, the years he had left ticking by slowly and twisting the knife in his gut with each turn of the month on a calendar. He was jealous of Marco who was no doubt with you now, jealous of Erwin and Miche and anyone they’d ever lost because they were with you.

Why did everyone else get so much time? What made them so different from you? Connie couldn’t understand a world where someone else deserved to survive to see the end when you didn’t, where people other than the two of you got enough time to live out their lives. 

Connie didn’t have that luxury and you surely didn’t either. 

The weight piled on, the greed, disgust, and envy weighed on his shoulders like boulders. A person can only take so much, can only struggle for so long under such a profound feeling. 

It was the day the negotiations were finished, the day the war came to a true end and Eldians were no longer discriminated against legally, that he broke. 

He fell to his knees in his temporary apartment after getting home and seeing the bare walls, the ones that lacked pictures because he’d never gotten to take any of you. You would have loved today, would have pulled him into the living room to dance or even invited all of your remaining friends to your shared apartment to celebrate. Connie could practically hear you telling him to appreciate the day, your voice chiming like bells in the recesses of his mind. It was haunting. 

“Fuck!” He shouted, slamming his fist onto the counter and collapsing to the floor as sobs wracked through his body. 

His friends had followed him to his apartment, worried for him. They had been for a while and today was the breaking point, watching him sway down the steps of the courthouse without so much as a word. They could hear him crying through the walls, hear the guttural cries that seemed to push through him so angrily. 

Connie’s stomach was twisting in painful knots, it was years of being tired, years of missing you crumbling all at once in a crescendo of anger and unimaginable grief. He was sick, his heart wrenched in his chest, hammering against his ribcage, something your heart could no longer do. 

It was sickening, how his bones wracked and how his shoulder shook with every shuddering sob. His own walls were finally let down and his veiled emotions crashed over him appallingly fast. How did he carry around this weight, this grief, for so long? 

Connie couldn’t pick his head up from his hands when his friends came in, ushering themselves past the entrance to crouch on the floor with him, Jean’s arm bracing his frame and helping to keep him upright. They let him cry like that for a long while, letting the sounds echo through an apartment that should have had you in it. 

They all missed you, but they had already done their mourning. In doing so, they’d left Connie behind to fend for himself. Left him alone like you had. 

“She’s watching from somewhere, Connie.” Jean’s voice piped up, low and reassuring.

“Y’know-” Connie choked out, sniffling. “Everyone talks so much about this a-afterlife.”

Another sob wracks through him. 

“About his place where the dead go once they’ve finished their time here.” He was shouting now, voice rising. 

“I just wish that maybe there was some fucking proof that she’s still there.” His fists balled up against the floor. This time Connie doesn’t try to stop the cries to talk, he pauses to let himself sob before speaking again. “Because right now I can’t find a single reason to believe she’s out there and I don’t know what I’d do if I never got to see her again.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to move on? How do I carry this weight? How can I keep taking steps forward when she’s not at the end?” Connie’s eyes snap up to Jean, his hand coming to grab his wrist. 

His eyes were pleading, crying for an answer, something, somebody to tell him that there was something to look forward to. That you would be at the end of this stupid game called life. His  voice came up from the deepest recesses of his body. Eyebrows pulled up in anguish, eyes glassy with tears that refused to let up as he peered into his best friend’s eyes. Connie knew he couldn’t answer, knew that there was no one secret to getting through this, that he’d have to power through on his own. But he was so angry, so exhausted from fighting. 

“Why did it have to be her!” He gasps, eyes going wide as realization courses through his shaking body. “Why didn’t she get more time, why didn’t she get to fucking see today?! Why was it me? _____ would have known what to say today, would have had the perfect words. I’ve never had them, never had anything to say.” 

Connie inhaled deeply, blinking until limpid tears decorated the fabric of his uniform. “I need her here. I need her.” 

That was the last thing he said that night, letting himself cry on the floor in the company of his friends who tried in vain to calm him. He raged against fate, body heaving in tremendous sobs that left his chest feeling emptier than before, inhaling in great pulls because with each cry he could feel the water flooding his lungs. Invading, violating, and wretched with every wail. Everything served as a reminder for his jealousy, ugly and painful in its existence. 

Connie knows you’d have hated this. 

Could you see him right now? Were you watching in the months to come as he hit his lowest low before slowly starting to pick himself back up, finally formally forgiving Gabi even though he hadn’t blamed her for a long while. 

It took a long time for him to gain that semblance of normalcy and once he returned to Eldia from overseas, he went straight to your grave, finally able to face your name scrawled on the headstone once again. Connie hadn’t expected it, but with time the jealousy faded into a dull ache. He spent hours in the graveyard that day, staying with you until the sun had long set over the horizon and the air nipped at his skin. Connie would take any time he could have with you, even if it was like this. And as he sat there talking about the newfound peace, he hoped you could hear him. 

He was filled with regrets about you. He wishes he had made you laugh more or studied the way you threw your head back in a smile because after so many years the memory had faded to little more than a silhouette. Connie wished he had taken pictures of you, kissed you on the day he met you, married you. But he couldn’t.

Connie wondered if you were watching him all the time. Did you watch his healing, the way he picked himself back up after being shattered and broken for so long. Maybe he’d glued part of you to him when he patched himself up, maybe he still gets to carry some of you with him in the corner of his heart he knows is reserved for you.

Did you see the day he met her? The woman he’d marry one day. She’d caught his eye because she reminded him so much of you, especially in her smile. Connie couldn’t help but think you’d had something to do with it, some cosmic influence that led her to him. 

He thought of you on his wedding day as his bride moved down the aisle, radiant in her beauty. Connie loved her the way he loved you, deeply and honestly. He thought of you the day his first child was born and on every day after that because he saw you in every part of his little girl. He saw you in the way she laughed and the way she ate, the way she stood up after scraping her knee to keep running. 

Connie told his wife about you, about the love he lost, and his daughter thought of you as family, despite never meeting you. Your name fell from his family’s lips so often that it was like you’d never left this world in the first place. 

He healed, Finally, time began moving again and that sickening envy slipped from his veins like melting ice. He was no longer jealous. 

He still goes to your grave, every Sunday. He brings his family and sits his daughter on his lap to tell stories about you, about every aspect of you. Partly because he wants her to know, but also so that he can remember. It’s like a prayer, uttering your name as they sit in the grass that had long grown over the dirt with such reverence, such adoration. 

The wind moves through the trees, shaking leaves from their late summer bloom and Connie swears he can hear you laughing, deep and rich and so like you. 

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[ymiwritesstuff]

The Limits of a Hero

Hello hello, I’m here to bring you something rather special. A quick fun fact: When I started writing years ago, Link was actually the first character I ever wrote for, so this piece is sort of going back to my roots as a writer. That, and I’ve been in a HUGE Twilight Princess mood lately, (I recently bought a few volumes of the manga and I am very much enjoying it) so I thought I’d write this quick thing for my favorite incarnation of Link. I hope those of you who also like him will enjoy this.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Link x Reader

Summary: During a seemingly ordinary night out in the woods you decide to give the hero a much needed chance to rest.

Notes: Fluff, some light angst

The tree trunk felt rough against your back, but it provided a much-needed opportunity to finally rest and recollect your energy after yet another day of fighting against the twilight and its corrupt ruler. Yet you found a strange calm when surrounded by the night, the warm flames of the campfire swaying in the cool wind.

The wood crackled, the breeze howled and your eyelids grew heavy. You wouldn’t close them, however. Not yet. Instead, you kept your (E/C) eyes on the glowing fire, occasionally throwing in a stick or two to make sure your source of heat wouldn’t disappear.

Your thoughts wandered, as they often did ever since you were thrown into this dangerous adventure. How did everything change so fast? You could still hear the water trickling down the waterwheel in Ordon as if it was yesterday. Everything had gone wrong so fast, and now you were trying to save the entire kingdom from something you didn’t fully understand.

You knew it was the same for Link. But unlike you, he was much better at suppressing his confusion and doubts. You had noticed a change in him, no doubt caused by the sudden responsibility laid upon his broad shoulders. In addition to the more obvious changes in his attire, his cerulean eyes lost some of their glow, he somehow grew even more silent and he didn’t smile as often. All because he felt that his role as the hero chosen by the Gods demanded it.

It must have been tiring, you thought, yet he pressed on, never once letting even a single mention of how much it all weighed down on him slip from his lips. But you could see it. Whether it was in the way his shoulders fell with a sigh whenever he finished slaughtering a group of Bokoblins or how he yawned and stretched his arms almost every time he hopped off Epona. His body was fatigued, but his eyes held nothing but determination.

The rustling of leaves that came from behind snapped you back to reality, and your eyes fell on the bush where the grey animal soon emerged from, carrying something in his mouth the edges of which and a part of his lower body was seemingly damp. You watched as he walked with heavy steps towards the fire before dropping the thing you recognized to be a Hyrule Bass on the ground.

The fish flopped on the dirt and you found yourself raising a confused eyebrow at him, before locating his fishing rod not too far away from the fire, indicating that he had forgotten to take it with him. You looked at the fish again.

“Are we this desperate?” You managed to ask him as his beastly form quickly reverted to his original form you were familiar with. He sat on the ground and gave you a slight nod.

“We’re running low on food,” he said, taking a sip from his bottle of water. Most of his equipment was laying on the ground, though he was still fully clad in his green tunic, chainmail and all.

You noticed him taking out a small knife, no doubt intending to use it to prepare the freshly caught fish. He would not dare use his sacred sword for such a task. The bass was fairly big, enough for both of you, you surmised.

“I can take care of it,” you offered, noticing the tired look in his eyes as they turned to you. He shook his head lightly.

“It’s fine, (Name),” he assured and began cutting into the flesh, but you persisted.

“You haven’t slept properly in days.” It had been an exhausting few days, filled to the brim with battles against Shadow Beasts and other enemies. It took its toll on both of you yet he showed no outward signs of fatigue. Not that it was necessary, for right now, anyone could see the dark circles and bags under his otherwise gorgeous eyes.

He glanced at you, clearly pondering over your words while continuing to cut the fish. You were right, as you often were. He was exhausted, but the selflessness in him didn’t want you to lose any of the sleep you needed.

“Someone has to keep watch,” he began, but you quickly shut him down.

“Which I can do.”

You scooted over to him, noticing him making the final cuts to the scaly flesh of the fish. Placing a hand on top of his, you kept your eyes on him, trying to convince him.

“You need to rest, Link. Please.”

Upon hearing your voice that left your lips as a quiet plea he finally gave in, letting out a sigh that carried all his exhaustion into the air and letting go of the knife. He finally turned to you, his drained eyes glowing in silent relief.

“Will you be alright? You know you can wake me up any time if-”

“I’ll be fine. The only thing you need to worry about is getting some sleep.”

Your hand reached up to slowly remove his cap, exposing his dirty blond hair that bathed in the glowing embers of the campfire. You offered him a smile equally warm as the flames which he thankfully returned.

Planting the tiniest kiss on his cheek, you retreated from him, once again leaning against a lone tree. With your hand you lightly patted your lap, wanting the hero in front of you to have the best possible chance at getting a good night’s rest.

He laid his weary head on your lap and almost immediately, he let out a long yawn that indicated just how much he needed this, despite his stubborn protests. Your fingers found their way into his hair, running through his locks in a soothing manner.

Silence fell around you, though it was a refreshing change from the usual noises of battle and struggles. You stared at the fire once again, its welcoming warmth enveloping both of you.

“You’ve changed,” you admitted, thinking back to the simpler times, during which Link would have been more than compliant to sleep when he needed it. He let out a soft sigh, his eyes glued to the starlit sky above.

“I guess I have,” he agreed. You wondered if he meant it to the same degree as you did. Even now, you noticed the solemn expression on his face you had never seen back home.

Home. You thought about it a lot. Maybe a little too much at times. Ordon meant a lot to you, even more to Link you assumed. Perhaps that’s why he had gotten so stoic and serious. He was merely trying to protect what he held dear.

It was admirable, he was, by all accounts, a hero. Courageous, selfless, strong, yet still a mere Hylian. A capable Hylian indeed, but still a Hylian. A Hylian who the entire kingdom needed to save them. Everyone expected so much of him, it seemed as if he himself forgot his limits.

“You’re not all-powerful, Link.”

Your eyes fell on him, and his own looked up at you. Someone needed to be his voice of reason, and you were more than willing to take that role if it meant ensuring his safety when he sometimes couldn’t.

“Maybe I should be.”

Your eyebrows frowned at that. You knew he felt a certain sense of guilt about what happened to the children of the village. They were safe now, but there was a stinging sensation of shame embedded in him that made him feel responsible for all of it.

“Don’t say that. You did all you could. Pushing yourself to the point where you can’t stay up anymore won’t solve anything.”

He knew you were right. You almost always were. Link had always secretly wondered if it was a blessing that it was you who had accidentally stumbled across the same wall of Twilight that had transformed him into a beast. In all honesty, he was thankful.

“I’m just... Worried about you,” you confessed, feeling a small sense of dread in the core of your being. Just thinking about what could happen to him if he didn’t take care of himself made your stomach churn.

A troubled look fell on his face, as if he was feeling guilty about making your eyes fill with concern. You inhaled deeply and pressed your lips on his forehead, not wanting your own uneasiness make him anxious.

“Rest now. I’ll keep watch.”

With a small nod, he allowed his heavy eyelids to close and it didn’t take long for him to fall asleep, soft snores escaping his mouth that was partially agape.

For the first time in days, he looked truly peaceful. His body relaxed, rid of any signs of stress or tension, the only movement being that of his chest, moving up and down due to his steady breathing. With a smile you continued running your digits through his hair, hoping to comfort him even in his dreams you could only hope were as tranquil as your current surroundings.

“Goodnight, Link.”

[cazimagines]

Dancing the night away

Synopsis: You accomply Zemo to a ball yet you feel like you don’t truly belong there and you still compare yourself to Zemo’s ex wife but Zemo comforts you and assures you he loves you

Warnings/Tags: Fluff, all the fluff, plus very spicy end scene not 18+ but hella close

Word count: 2k

Authors note: As I promised a fluff one shot after the last one. We all need more loving Zemo in our lives. Also I just wanted to say that I love and appreciate every single one of you who likes and comments on my one shots. I used to write fanfiction on sites like Quotev and Wattpad and they never really got any attention which was quite down heartening to someone who wants to carry on writing for their career so all the love you have been showing to my Zemo one shots mean the world to me. Thank you all so much.

Once again Zemo had outdone himself. Buying you the most expensive dress in the shop, lavishing you with jewelry and make-up. Looking into the mirror even you could admit how stunning you appeared. You were wearing a tight-fitting emerald green dress that flurried out at the bottom in a swirl. The front of it cut down into a low v shape showing off the sides of your breasts.

You looked like how every little girl had always wanted to look like yet you couldn’t help but wonder...was this you?

You had never imagined you would be someone who would have a lot of money or meet someone who owned money. Let alone a Baron. It had happened so suddenly and you were swept up in a daze. It felt unreal, like every time you fall asleep you expect to wake back up in your old bed in your apartment. The truth was, deep down you felt like you didn’t deserve this.

You jumped as you felt hands wrap around your waist. Resting upon your stomach and pulling you in towards their chest.

“You look like the goddess Venus” Zemo whispers as he leans his head on your neck drinking in the scent of your perfume.

“If I hadn’t already promised the president I’d be there I would say screw this dance and take you right here”

“Zemo!” you gasp, your face instantly truing bright red at such a bold remark. You two had never gone that far in your relationship yet. You needed time to be ready before you ever went that far. Zemo respected that choice though he loved to tease you like that.

He chuckles, kissing your neck briefly then pulling back to admire himself in the mirror. “We will be the best looking couple there darling”

“You think so?”

Though his mouth was still turned into a smile he turned to you serious, “I know so y/n”

You break out into a big smile making Zemo smile flashing his teeth as well. He pulls you into a soft kiss, his hands gently holding onto you.

Following Zemo, he leads you to his car and a little while later you arrive at the ball. It felt like there were thousands of people there and they were all staring at you.

Zemo loved the attention. He politely smiled at everyone and greeted his friends there, introducing you to them.

You tried to make polite conversation but you had always been rather awkward. You didn’t know what you could say to people like them but Zemo made up for it by talking for you.

It felt like hours of you walking arm in arm with Zemo till he finally led you to the dance floor.

One hand on your waist and one holding yours, you two started to waltz to the music. Zemo started intently at you. His eyes sparkling in joy just to be in your presence while your face seemed to be in a permanent state of blushing.

“Have I told you just how much I adore your blush?” Zemo asks

You slightly chuckle still looking away, “Everyday” you breathed

“And I will continue telling you every day till you believe it”

“...Zemo”

“Darling, look at me” he whispers

Slowly you manage to drag your eyes off the floor and up into his warm chocolate ones. His grip on your hand tightens as he smiles warmly at you. “Words can not describe how stunning you are y/n. Poets would weep with joy just to be in your presence, even the stars would blow down to your light”

“I love you so much Zemo” you whisper

“I love you too”

You two continue to dance for the rest of the song till the music stops. You excuse yourself to step outside for a few moments.

Though Zemo loved to tell you how much he loved you, there was always a part of you that seemed to always doubt him. You were someone so common compared to him. Compared to his ex. He hardly spoke about her. You knew they were married with a child but they were both killed and it hurt him deeply. One day you snuck into his office and found a picture of her. She was so beautiful, so different to you.

“I hate seeing you looking so down darling” you hear Zemo say as he follows you outside. He stands behind you wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing your shoulder.

“I’m fine” you try to reply but Zemo shakes his head, “I know you y/n, I know you are upset by something. I want to help you with whatever is lying heavily on your soul but I can’t unless you tell me”

You don’t say anything for a moment, you just breathe in and out trying to calm your nerves. Zemo pulls back from you. He turns you around and picks up your hands in his. He brings them up and kisses them gently.

Finally, you gather up the courage to just let it all go, to just say everything that had been bothering you.

“I don’t feel like I fit in here Zemo! Before I met you I was just an average person. Someone everyone here would look down on. Part of me still finds it hard to believe you even like me. Why would someone like you, a Baron, who could have any supermodel settle for someone like me. It doesn’t make sense. I feel so outcast here and I can’t help but think about your ex-wife. She was so beautiful, I saw that picture in your office of her. I know she is prettier than me and I just can’t understand why you would choose me after being with someone like her. I just don’t understand why you choose me Zemo!” you cried, letting the tears freshly leave your eyes.

Zemo looked shocked as you spoke but his facial expression soon turned to one of sadness. He raised his hands to your face, placing it on your side, and with his thumb, he brushed the tears away.

“Oh, y/n…” he whimpered as he struggled for a moment to find the right words.

With his other arm, he wraps it around your side and pulls you close to him till you could feel his breath on yours. His eyes stare intently into yours as he speaks,

“When I saw you in that restaurant a year ago, I was awestruck. My life had turned to shit. I’d lost everything and it felt like I was drowning in the waves of pain but when I saw you it was like the angels had blessed me. What drew me to you most though was your eyes. In the sun they shone, darling, tantalizing, drawing me in deep and under. I just had to talk to you. Other women may be pretty. Perhaps. But you darling. You look like the gods came down and painted you with the best colours in existence. Everything I say to you I mean and I want you to believe it. I would do anything just so you could see yourself the way I see you. I understand how you feel about my wife. It was my fault, not talking about her to you but the way I love you isn’t the same way I loved her. I always felt like I was forced to be in love with her like it was the right thing to do. Everyone told me I would be an idiot not to pursue her so I did. Yes, I liked her but I never felt connected to her. But you darling, I would throw everything away for you. I don’t care what anyone else says because I love you. I treasure you. Just looking at you makes my heart race still and my body feel warm. I want to hold you, touch you, taste you but at the same time, I’m scared I would taint you. That you were too beautiful, too innocent for the likes of me.” Zemo declares, never taking eyes off you.

Through his words you feel yourself melting. A warmness takes over you as your heart too nervously flutters. You place your hand over his chest and you can feel his heart quickly beating, almost in time to yours. He looks at you, his eyes wide, lips slightly parted as he desperately waits for your words.

“You mean the world to me Zemo, I’ve never loved someone as much as I love you and never will. I could never come close to your way with words but...thank you. For saying that. It...it means so much to me to hear that. I’m still going to occasionally have doubts. I’m afraid that’s the way I am and I don’t think that will ever change but I’m not leaving you Zemo. Never”

Zemo wraps his arms around you bringing you into a hug as you rest on his chest, encompassed in his warmth. “I will be there every moment of every day to help you through your doubts”

Eventually, you pull back to look at him, at his lips. You were so drawn to him at that moment. You two were so close it was intoxicating. Pushing forward, you closed your eyes to kiss him. Zemo’s eyes fluttered shut as well and he raised his hands to wrap in your hair. They got tangled in them and he slightly tugged making you moan.

You both freeze as your blush comes back but you pushed past your embarrassment, kissing Zemo harder. Your core started to warm and this time you weren’t going to run away from your desire. You part your lips slightly and Zemo takes that invitation to explore your mouth with his tongue. You push into his further, wanting to feel his body against yours. This caused him to take a few steps back till he hit a wall. You moved your body slightly up and down his as you two kissed. He pulled back, out of breath as he gazed in wonder at you.

“Am I okay to go further?”

“Yes” you gasp, “Zemo I…” you knew it now, you knew you were ready, “Zemo I want you”

His teeth flash as he smiled at you before he lowered his face to your neck, sucking on a section. His hands also lowered down your back till they grabbed your ass. It elicits more moans out of you as his teeth graze your skin. His mouth wanders all over you like he was attempting to kiss every inch of you. As he moved his head lower you tangled your hands in his soft hair, tugging it slightly which made him groan.

When he reaches your chest area he grabs the back of your legs lifting you. You wrap both your arms and legs around him as he walks you over to a table and lays you down on it. You continue to hold onto him so that his body was between your tights and his chest was pressed against yours.

While everyone danced inside you and Zemo lost yourself to the pleasure outside.

[theoreticslut]

Sleepy Love Letters // f.w.

fred weasley x reader 

requested: yes

word count: 2.5k

warnings: none, fluff

A/N: oh good lord. I am literally so behind on requests of all kinds. I guess i’ve just really needed a break. I am (obviously) writing again, but I am taking it much slower than I had been and it’s truly just because I get burnt out and tired so much faster lately. This fic is from my 1.1k sleepover (i believe) which was back in feb, but I still have stuff from my end of the year party from late dec / early jan. Basically, at this point I’m working through things as I get the time and motivation for it. It’ll all just be mixed in. If you’re waiting for a fic, headcanon, blurb, letter, etc. just keep your eyes out for it on my blog OR you can always check the events and their respective tags under my navigation to find it. I am either working on it or getting my way to it. I promise. Thank you, seriously, to every single one of you that have sent requests in for misc. events or when I had my requests open - it means the WORLD to me and I am going to get to it. I just need the time. Anyways, that’s enough of my heartfelt blubbering. I hope you guys like this fic! Xx

A/N 2: I’ve had this saved in my drafts for weeks now and I’ve been dying to post it. I’m not really sure why I haven’t yet, but here it is!! I hope you like it just as much as I do!

“Y/n, how do you think you did?!” Fred asks as he catches up with you walking out of the great hall after your charms exam.

“Good. Didn’t think it was too hard at least.” You reply, stifling a yawn.

Fred notices and wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into him. The two of you have been friends for years and he knows you're exhausted even if you won’t admit it.

You’ve always spent hours upon hours studying for a test, often opting to stay up real late at night. He can’t even count how many times he and George have come back from detention or setting up a prank to find you passed out at one of the tables in the common room.

It only got worse when it was a final. Fred had found you not only passed out in the common room with a book open in front of you or on your lap, but he’d see you with a book shoved in your face as you ate or anytime you had some free time. He’d watch as you almost obsessively run through flash cards.

He adored how dedicated you were to getting good grades, but he often worried about what you were doing to yourself staying up way past the point of exhaustion or eating the bare minimum as you were too focused on the book in front of you. You weren’t taking care of yourself the way you should and it bothered him more than he’d like to admit.

“I’m sure you did more than just good, sweetheart. You excited that it was the last one?”

“Thrilled. I can’t wait to be able to spend the summer going to the lake and camping. You and George have any plans?”

“Not many as of yet. I’m sure George is going to try to find any excuse to see Angelina.”

You chuckle, nodding in agreement with the redhead. The two of you have only watched George and Angie dance the line between friends and dating for a year and a half now. They were closer than ever to being together, they just wouldn’t quite admit it to each other.

Walking into the common room you were glad to find it quiet. You’d hate to admit it out loud, but all you really wanted to do is go lay down and maybe sleep for a bit.

“Come hang out in my room?” Fred asked, nodding towards the stairs for the boys’ dorms.

He watches as a tired smile fills your face before you give him a small nod.

“Yeah, alright. You have any products you need testing?”

He chuckles, a loving smile on his face in response to your question. Even though you’re dragging your feet and look about ready to pass out, you’re still asking about him and his passion.

“Not today. Maybe later next week though.  I just like your company.”

“I like yours, Fred.” You giggle, following him up the stairs.

“Well obviously, princess. Who doesn’t love having me in their company?” He chuckles, opening the door to his dorm.

“Good Godric,” you roll your eyes. “I think you need to check that ego of yours.”

“You love my big ego though, yeah?”

You shake your head as a smile finds its place on your face. You can’t help but let out a yawn as you take a seat on his bed while he sits down at the desk, watching you get comfortable.

“It definitely makes you interesting, Freddie.”

He smiles, watching as you stretch out, slowly making yourself more comfortable.

“You alright, y/n?” He asks as you let out a soft groan as you curl up in your side.

“Yeah. I’m just really tired, Freddie. Haven’t slept much lately.” You mumble, eyes already closed lightly.

“I’m sure, princess. You just rest for a bit. I’ll make sure you’re up in time for dinner.”

“Thank you.”

He smiles, watching as you tuck one of his pillows under your head. He’s always found you adorable when you’re sleepy. The few times he’s caught you napping in ginny’s room at the burrow, or on the couch down in the common room while your friends all talk, he’s felt his heart melt.

Not wanting to be creepy, though, he turns his attention to a joke product he’s been working on, listening to the gentle breathes leaving your body as you fall asleep.

~.~

You’ve been asleep for about a half hour now and Fred can’t help but admire you. Every time a little groan leaves your lips as you adjust your position, he can’t stop a smile from growing on his lips.

That’s not even mentioning how adorable you look curled up on his bed. Your laying on your stomach, with one leg stretched out while the other is pulled up to your side as you hug a pillow under your head and towards your chest. Your hair is sprawled out over his blankets, afternoon light reflecting of the silky strands.

He watches as your torso slowly rises and falls with your steady breathes and your eyelids flutter with your dreams. He watches as you ever so gently situate yourself from time to time.

He is so enamored with you at the moment he can’t help but want to share his feelings with the world. He’s loved you for a few years now, but he’s never dared let on he does in case you didn’t feel the same. He can’t fathom losing you as a friend, so he never wanted to share something that might make the relationship awkward.

He’s never even told George how he feels about you. When he realized just how deeply he felt for you, he promised himself that he’d keep it quiet. For all you and George knew, Fred only thought of you as a good friend and nothing more. Sure you both knew that he cared for you and would do anything you ever asked him to, but you would never guess that Fred wanted to be able to call you his - that he wanted to be able to hold you and kiss you and shout to the world that he’s dating you.

Fred sighs happily as you continue sleeping, feeling his heart swell with love. Godric how you made him feel.

He doesn’t even realize what he’s doing until he’s written a few words.

Y/n, sweetheart -

Godric, I love you.

He feels the air get sucked out of his lungs as he reads over what he wrote. He couldn’t possibly have written that right?

Looking over at you cautiously to find you still fast asleep he sighs. He checks the time finding that dinner is still over an hour away. Maybe writing out his feelings wouldn’t be so bad? It’s not like anyone would be seeing them right?

~.~

You giggle as you shut the door on your two best friends as they stumble over each other up the stairs.

As soon as you three stepped off the train, Fred was asking you to come over for a few days, not wanting to part ways quite yet. Writing out his feelings did the exact opposite of what he was hoping. Instead of feeling relieved and getting them out of the forefront of his mind, writing out his love for you had only made him crazier for you.

It was insane how much he felt for you and he couldn’t imagine having you disappear on him so quickly. Hence why he asked you over and you’ve been at the burrow for about three days now.

It’s been amazing spending time with your two best friends without the stress or schedule of classes and tests.

Currently you were trying to escape their wrath for a harmless prank you pulled on them this morning which may have resulted in them both getting drenched in water.

“Y/n, sweetheart, can you let us in our room please? We really would like to change out of these wet clothes.” Fred asks sweetly, attempting to get you to show yourself to them.

“Not yet. You’re going to attack me soon as I do.”

“We won’t. Swear we won’t, right george?”

“Right, Fred. Just let us in.”

“I don’t trust you two.” You admit, trying to catch your breath as you back away from the locked door.

“Why not? We’ve never given you a reason not too.”

“You’re joking right? Must I remind you about your birthday?” You deadpan, taking a seat at their desk in an attempt to protect yourself. If they tried to attack you, you at least had an arsenal of pens and pencils.

“Alright, fair enough. We promise no tricks. Just unlock the door.”

“I really don’t want to. At least I’m safe right now.”

You hear a mix of chuckles and a groan as you curiously look over the contents of the desktop. You frown when you spot a folded piece of paper with your name on it.

Why would they have a paper addressed to you? And what would even be in it? It’s not like anyone has anything important enough to put in a letter for you. If they have something to say they just talk to you.

Without questioning it, you pick up the paper and start reading it.

Y/n, sweetheart -

Godric, I love you. I’ve loved you for ages now but I’ve been far too worried about ruining our friendship to tell you. The only reason I’m writing these words now is because I know no one but me will ever see this.

“Y/n? What’re you doing?” Fred questions through the door when you get too quiet.

I can’t imagine a life without you, y/n. You’ve been the best part of mine since I met you on the train in our first year. The way you’re so unbelievably kind and fun to be around is just one of the many things I adore about you. I could write you a list, but it’d get to be quite long.

Merlin, I wish I could tell you how I feel. I want to scream it to the world I swear. I want to be able to hold you, and kiss you, whenever and wherever. I want to go on hogsmeade trips with you and buy you a butterbeer and be one of those couple’s you’re always fawning over. I want to get you gifts just because I want to see you smile.

You can hear the door click as one of them unlocks it, but you pay no attention to it.

I want to be the one you talk to about anything and everything. I want to be the one to comfort you. I want to be the one to make you smile. I want to fall asleep and wake up beside you each day. I just want you. I’ve wanted you since the middle of second year, but I’m sure you don’t feel the same. I just needed to get this all off my chest.

I love you and I hope you can tell even though we’re friends. I love you, y/n. So much.

“Shit, princess. Y-you weren’t supposed to read that.” Fred sighs from behind you.

You jump slightly at his proximity, not expecting him to be right behind you.

You look up at him as he paces across the room, looking over to George before back at Fred. You frown as you watch him tug at his hair.

“Freddie?”

“Hmm?” He acknowledges, still pacing.

“Will you please look at me?”

“What’s even got you like this? What could you have written that’s so bad?” George questions, walking to the desk as you walk over to Fred.

You watch as Fred chews on his lip as you stand in front of him. You see the anxiousness in his eyes and you’ve never once been more reminded of a scared puppy as much as you are now. Fred looks absolutely terrified, only further proven by how he’s shaking slightly.

“Fred, do you really feel that way? Do you love me?”

“I, uhm, yeah...I-I do.”

You smile, pushing back some of his hair that’s stuck to his forehead from being drenched as you wrap your arms around his neck in a hug.

“You should have told me ages ago. I’ve loved you since second year, too, you goof.” You giggle, kissing his cheek before burying your face in his neck.

“What?”

You pull back to look at him, finding him sporting a look of utter confusion as he stares at you, mouth open.

“What?” You chuckle, cocking a brow at him as you smile lightly.

“Y-you like me too? Like you actually like me? More than as a friend?”

You hear George chuckle to the side of you, drawing both of your guys’ attention.

“Godric, Fred. Never would have pegged you as a sap.” He snorts.

“Be nice, George. Believe it or not, it’s actually really sweet. Write a love letter to Angie and see how quickly she swoons.”

Fred chuckles at your repose while George scoffs, although there’s no hiding the blush that spreads across his cheeks.

You watch as George grabs some dry clothes before leaving the two of you to yourselves.

“So you actually like me too?”

“Of course I do, Freddie. Haven’t you ever noticed how much the girls would tease me when you were around? They were teasing me about you.”

“Bloody hell. They’ve done that for years! I thought it was just how they were.”

“I mean, it is, but they tend to get a bit more obnoxious about it when you’re around.”

“So you really like me too?”

“Yes, Freddie. I like you too. I just need to ask, when did you write that?”

He chuckles, rubbing at the back of his neck as he gives you a half smile.

“After our charms final....you took a nap in our dorm, remember?”

“Mhm. Your bed was really comfy.” You giggle, a blush rising to Fred’s cheeks.

“You looked really cute sleeping in my bed and I, well, I may have gotten a little overwhelmed with emotions.”

You smile, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips.

“Godric you’re adorable, Fred.”

“Not as adorable as you, princess.”

“I beg to differ.” You giggle, smiling as he brings you into another kiss, tightly wrapping his arms around your waist.

When you pull away you press your foreheads together, smiling.

“So, do you think you could write that list about the things you adore about me?”

He can’t help the chuckle that leaves his chest as you smile adoringly at him.

“I’ll get right on it, love. Right after I change out of these clothes since someone decided it’d be fun to prank the pranksters this morning.”

You giggle, pressing one last kiss to his jaw before you leave him to let him change clothes.

“I’m glad I found your letter, Fred.”

“I am too, y/n. I love you.”

“I love you too, Freddie.” You smile as you close his bedroom door. Who would have guessed that Fred Weasley would declare his feelings for you in a love letter? One things for sure though, you’re saving that paper and cherishing it the rest of your life.

———————————————————————

Taglist:

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[little-diable]

Potter - Draco Malfoy (angst/smut)

Request by anon: Hello. I love your imagines! Can I request a Draco smut? The reader and him are in a secret romance due to her being Harry's sister. She is Harry's stolen object in the second task, but she doesn't know how to swim. Draco saves her and has soft smut in the Prefect bathroom with multiple "I love you"s.

Hope this is what you had in mind. Enjoy my loves. xxx

“Sh, don’t want anybody to hear us, do we?” His lips nibbled on her neck, hands massaging her skin, leaving a few hidden marks, something he’ll be able to admire later on. His scent filled her nostrils, the faint green apple aroma made a homey feeling overcome her, trying to pull her love even closer. 

“My gorgeous love,“ Draco breathed out, smiling at her, those bright eyes twinkling in the darkness of the storage room, he loved to feel her close, pressed against his chest, shuttered breaths leaving her swollen lips, begging for more. 

“We need to leave,“ (y/n) mumbled, she couldn’t miss her brothers first task, still shaken up from the way he had whispered “dragons” just last night. Her first instinct had been to tell him to quit, she couldn’t endure watching him struggle against something that deadly, but soon enough the (y/h/c) haired Potter girl realized, she couldn’t do anything, besides cheering for her brother, supporting him no matter what. 

“Fucking Potter,“ Draco muttered under his breath, groaning as his girlfriend slapped her hand against his abdomen.

„Don‘t Draco, he’s my bother,“ (y/n) reminded him once again, as if he wasn’t struggling with the sober truth every single day.

Draco and (y/n) had crossed paths years ago, eyes gazing at each other as the hat sorted them into their houses. A Malfoy would naturally be placed into Slytherin, just like (y/n) followed her brother into Gryffindor. Draco could still feel the uneasy feeling rising in his stomach as the hat called “Gryffindor”, he had deeply wished for her to follow him into Slytherin. 

It had taken (y/n) and Draco a few years to finally find each other, coming clean with their emotions, hiding their relationship from curious eyes, especially the ones of Dracos so called enemy, Harry Potter, (y/n)s brother. 

“He’ll be fine, don’t worry.“Draco kissed her forehead, running a hand through his bright blonde hair, trying to lace his voice with any sympathy, struggling to do so. “I’ll find you later on,“ and off he went, blending in with the rest of the students, cheering for anybody who didn’t carry the name Potter. 

His bright eyes would unintentionally find her (y/e/c) ones from time to time, checking to see, if she was alright, his heart was clenching at the sight, she was trembling, hands interlaced with Hermoines. Draco wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her, his mind was coming up with all the supportive things he’d whisper into her ear. 

He caught himself admiring her features more than once, proud that he was the one, that got to call her his girlfriend, he’d do anything to show her off to all those students, if his bloodline and her brother wouldn’t stand in their way. 

Even Draco felt scared, just for a second though, but his emotions were pure, watching Harry disappear, chased by the dragon, praying that he’d make it. Harry couldn’t leave (y/n) behind, he was the only true family member she had left, not as if she’d ever call her uncle and her aunt her family. 

“God, Harry,“ she fell into her brothers arms, a relieved sob left her lips, (y/n) inhaled his scent, the all too familiar calming sensation overcame her, made her sink into her brothers embrace even further. “I’m alright, don’t worry,“ he kissed her hairline, hands tightly squeezing her before he let go of her, ready to celebrate his victory. 

Harry and Draco would cross paths once that evening, Harrys eyebrows would furrow together as he caught the blonde Slytherin staring at his sister, the almost lovingly seeming smile he shot her made Harry frown. 

“(Y/n), love, look at me,“ Draco had her pressed against the cold wall, hands wrapped around her trembling frame. „He won’t leave you, Harry will survive this tournament.“

An exhausted expression grazed Dracos features, both, (y/n) and Draco hadn’t caught much sleep these past few days, she’d seek him out whenever another nightmare would haunt her, not able to keep on sleeping without him near. 

“Sorry,“ (y/n) hiccuped, fingers grasping the fabric of his sweater, too scared to let go of him. She admired him, truly did, thankful for muttering those sweet words to her, obviously trying to swallow down his hatred for her brother. “Don’t be,“ he kissed her forehead, dipping his head down to pull her into him. 

“I love you,“ she mumbled against his lips, kissing him one last time before she disappeared into the darkness, creeping down the hallways, finding her way back to her dorm, praying for at least a few hours of sleep. 

But as (y/n) had been woken up from her sleep early in the morning, she cursed herself for ever leaving the comfortableness of her bed, desperate to find her love, not able to calm the raging storm inside her mind herself. Hermoine and Ron had dragged her to where they’d meet with Dumbledore, getting initiated into the next task. 

An uneasy feeling settled inside her bones, (y/n) had never liked the water, never felt calm in the crashing waves of the ocean, so she refused to learn how to swim, she wouldn’t need to swim anyways, well, how wrong she had been. 

Neither the teachers nor Ron and Hermoine spared her protests any mind, trying to bribe her into it, telling her how much she’d help her brother with it, since everybody knew, that (y/n) would give her all for Harry, even her last breath. 

“No, absolutely not,“Draco muttered, arms crossed in front of his chest, staring down on his girlfriend. „I don’t have any other choice,“ she sounded just as unconvinced, her mind was racing, anxiety nestled in her, god, she prayed that Harry would be able to rescue her. 

“I’ll only give him a few minutes, otherwise I’ll step in,“ Draco left without kissing her goodbye, too enraged to even think straight, not noticing her sad eyes on him, aching for his touch. “I love you,“ she whispered into the hallway, eyes set on the spot where Draco had just been standing on a few moments ago. 

With trembling legs she stood in front of the old wizard, hopeful eyes were gazing at her. “It will be alright Miss Potter, don’t worry,“ he winked at her. She shot her friends one last glance before she got put into her trance, disappearing down the lake, darkness engulfed her, lulled her in. 

Dracos hard eyes were focused on the lake, he kept on tapping his foot, counting the minutes, cold sweat was breaking out on his back, he felt scared, truly scared, for the first time in his life. “What’s going on with you Malfoy?” Goyle chuckled, teasing his distressed friend. 

The prince of Slytherin pushed him out of the way as Harry broke through the lakes surface, (y/n) nowhere to be seen. “Where is she?” Draco spat, eyes finding Harrys shivering frame. „I don’t know,“ Harry stuttered, he hadn’t noticed the way she had struggled underwater, hadn’t noticed her letting go of his hand. Only now he seemed to realize, that his sister was actually not by his side. 

Blood was rushing in Dracos ears, too many thoughts and emotions crashed upon him, his limbs began to tremble, scared of losing his one true love. Curious eyes watched him pull off his coat and shoes, drowning out the cheering for the other contestants.

“Fucking Potter,“ Draco spat, diving headfirst into the black waters, he’d rescue her, no matter what. His heart was pounding against his ribcage, Draco tried to calm himself down, knowing that it would take him a while to find his girlfriend. Glad for all those hours his parents made him take swimming lessons, diving for hours on end, looking for random objects underwater. 

His bright eyes found her unresponsive figure on the lakes ground, tears were welling up in his eyes, blurring his already limited vision. Draco wrapped his arms around her frame, with his last breath he pulled themselves up the water, gasping as he broke through the lakes surface. “Don’t touch her,“ he growled at Harry, placing (y/n) down on the wooden stand, desperately trying catch her (y/e/c) eyes staring at him. 

Draco shook her a few times, cradling her cold frame in his arms, a relived sigh made it past his lips as she began to cough up the water in her lungs. “Finally,” he breathed into her ear, wrapping his coat around her shivering limbs. He didn’t let Harry near him, silencing him with a simple “not now Potter” every time he tried to apologize to his sister. 

“Come on, let’s take a bath my love,“ Draco was still carrying her, glad to finally be back at the castle, walking up to the perfect’s bathroom, knowing that they’d find some peace up there. “Let me help you,“ he slowly unbuttoned her blouse, eyes focused on hers, drops of water were dripping down from her tips, her lips were slightly blue, (y/n) wouldn’t let go of his hands. 

Draco had to bite down the “I told you so”, that was about to spill from his lips, but her dilated pupils were enough to shut him up, enough to pull her against his chest, kissing her forehead over and over again. 

She was placed on his lap, front pushed against his, hands tangled in his hair, the warm water engulfed them, calmed their shivering limbs. “I’m sorry for scaring you like that,“ (y/m) mumbled against his neck, her heart felt heavy, she didn’t care about almost drowning, didn’t care that Harry forgot about her, only cared about the way Draco felt, the anxious feelings, that ran through his veins. 

“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault my love,“ Draco grasped her neck, pulled her in for a kiss. „I’ve never been that scared. It made me realize, that I can’t be myself without you by my side, you’re my everything and I truly love you.” Draco confessed, chuckling at the smile, that tugged on her lips. 

“I love you too,“ she whispered, pushing her lips against his, dipping her tongue into his mouth, deepening the sensual gesture. Both were in their own little bubble of calmness, relishing in being that close to one another, set on making them feel as loved and appreciated as possible. 

Dracos hands found her wetness, he growled into her mouth, fingers dipping into her heat, spreading her open. “So pretty,“ (y/n) gasped at his praising, nails clawing into his shoulders. „Make love to me Draco,“ she moaned, desperate to wrap her walls around him. 

She sunk down on his hard length, he filled her in every right way, deliciously stretching her. “Draco,“ (y/n) cried out his name, his hands placed on her behind, stabilizing her movement. (Y/n) kept on gridding her core against his length, slowly bouncing on his member, engulfed by the hot water. 

Their pent up anxiety, frustration and love began to spill out of them, pushing them closer to the edge faster than ever. “I love you,“ both moaned at the same time, chuckling as their lips found one another. 

Draco thrusted his hips upwards, meeting her wetness, burying himself even deeper, stretching her even further, making her fall right into the crashing wave of her orgasm. “Fuck so good,“ Draco moaned, releasing himself into her heat, forehead pressed against hers, hands not letting go of her skin.

“I love you,“ Draco repeated, (y/n) ran her hands through his hair. „I love you too Draco Malfoy.“

[simplyotometrash]

Some Obey Me Headcanons!

Part One!!

Lucifer

Lucifer has always been the dad sibling. After each of his brothers were “born” while they were angels, he was the one to raise and teach them everything.

It’s common knowledge that Mammon is his favorite. Even if he hates to admit it. He’s hardest on Mammon because it’s the only thing he knows how to do anymore.

Despite the fact that they don’t seem to get along because of Mammon’s antics, Lucifer only ever confides some of his most pent up feelings to the second born. 

The only other person he confides in this deeply is MC.

Before the fall, Belphie was his second favorite brother. Even after things have settled after Belphie was free again, he can never look at the youngest the same.

All he wants is for his brothers to be happy and live on. Even if it means working himself into the ground for their sakes.

He doesn’t ask for help. Help has to be forced upon him.

With how much he works, even at home, it’s not uncommon to find him napping with a pen in hand at his desk and his head on his paperwork.

He wishes he had done better raising Satan. He blames himself for their strained relationship, but he feels as if it is too late to truly fix it.

Sometimes he also wishes he had raised Satan as his son and not his brother, considering Satan was born from his wrath.

Children, for some reason or another, flock to him.

His control issues and needing to know everything that happens under his roof stems from the trauma of the war, the fall, and what happened with Lilith. 

It’s his deepest fear that he will lose his brothers and be completely and utterly alone.

A bisexual mess of a demon. No one can convince me he doesn’t have at least a small crush on Diavolo. 

Mammon

Oh the second born brother. He just wants to see everybody happy. But he always messes up and ends up making people angry instead.

He has severe impulse control issues, hence why he’s broke all the time. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to save his Grimm, I headcanon that his sin of Greed compels him to spend. It controls him and so he struggles to keep money. 

But by gods does he have great luck with gambling. Get him going and he will win big every single time.

But keep that money where he can’t just grab it or else he will be compelled by his sin to buy things.

He doesn’t even want most of the things he buys. His sin took root in that empty space left from the fall and being cast out by the one he called his father. 

His sin pushes him to try and fill that void with objects and money when really he just wants someone’s love.

After centuries of being called scum and a degenerate because of something he has little control over, he gave up trying and gave into just being his sin.

He cries easy but only to MC or Lucifer. He won’t show his tears to any of his other brothers. Maybe Beel sometimes. But only sometimes.

He knows Lucifer’s most precious and deepest secrets. He’s his brother’s confidant. But he doesn’t even breathe a word of these secrets to anyone else.

He tries so hard to get attention, so he does stupid shit. After falling to Devildom, his family was changed forever. So any attention is good attention even when it’s him being punished. 

MC is the one who showed him positive love and attention again. It is one of many reasons he sticks to their side like fucking super glue to skin.

He’s actually a total mom-friend, though you wouldn’t guess it. You’d think he is the type to get drunk and pass out at a party? His alcohol tolerance is actually much higher than he lets on. He cleans up and takes care of people after they’ve all passed out.

Leviathan

He wasn’t nearly as anxious and against socializing before falling to Devildom. He retreated into himself out of fear of the unknown world they had all fallen into after the war.

He has an anxious attachment style. He knows it isn’t healthy. It’s rooted in the trauma that losing Lilith created.

The longer he stayed closed in on himself, the worse his anxiety got. To the point he became a recluse. 

He fears getting close to someone. He feels insecure in relationships, not just in himself. He doesn’t feel like he’s good enough.

He’s had relationships in Devildom before, but the first one ended poorly and it only made things worse for how he saw himself. The demon only dated him because of who he was, and preferred his status as the Grand Admiral of Hell’s Navy. Not as who he really is. 

The few relationships that came after all ended before they really could begin because his anxiety monster was screaming that he wasn’t really good enough. That they only ever pursued him for who he was in status and power.

MC’s persistence to become his friend is what made him begin to do some self-reflection.

They tried so hard to become friends with him, they put so much effort into him, and they encourage him to just be himself. If they do all of that, maybe he really is enough as he is.

He does try to step outside of his comfort zone more because MC opened his eyes to the truth of himself. 

But baby steps are needed.

He taught himself how to code just so he could make games. He got bored after making one and preferred playing to creating.

He doesn’t actually hate Mammon. Their little rivalry traces back to when they were angels and still growing up, competing for Lucifer’s attention. He actually loves his brother very much, despite how irritate he gets.

His envy is its own thing. It took root within his insecurities and has a voice all its own. It used to be so loud that he couldn’t think. But the growth he’s had since MC came into his life helped quiet that voice down a lot.

He’s closest with Satan and Asmo, feeling like he doesn’t fit with his older two or youngest two brothers anymore. 

Satan

He knew from day one that he wasn’t like the rest of his brothers. He was always different. Born a demon, never once an angel. He knew that they weren’t truly his brothers.

All he ever wanted was for Lucifer to be his father. Not his brother. 

Lucifer once was his hero, the person he admired and respected with all his might.

As he got older, his wrath only grew with him. And his anger at Lucifer grew as well.

He wanted to find himself as separate from Lucifer. He knew where he’d come from. But everyone treated him as if he were just some offshoot of Lucifer. He wanted to be his own person. For everyone to see that. It fueled his anger and built the wall that came between them.

He’s an excellent shoulder for comfort. He often comforts Levi when he breaks down or provides reassurance to Asmo.

These three are the middle children, they stick together.

He was alive when the Library of Alexandria was burned. Even though he wasn’t supposed to go to the human realm, he saved some texts from the library and keeps them safe.

The real reason he wears his jackets the way he does is just like when you’re in bed. If it’s full on with both sleeves, he’s too hot. If he doesn’t have it on at all he’s too cold. So one arm in a sleeve and one arm not in a sleeve.

Asmo has tried and failed to give this boy fashion help. He refuses to take it. He thinks he looked like an intellectual (for the love of god please lose the black undershirt at least, Satan).

He carries cat treats and cat food in his bag at all times in case he comes across a kitty in need.

He has sneaked many cats into the House of Lamentation. Lucifer knew the entire time but let Satan have a few days before he “found out” about the cats.

His wrath has burned strong for so long, even when he was passive, that he didn’t know what it was like to feel calm. But MC’s very presence sends a wave of peace right to his very core. 

Asmo

If you’re insecure and you know it clap your hands. 

Levi might seem like the king of insecurity, but Asmo takes the cake.

He masks his insecurities with what people think is narcissism and over confidence. He puts on a show so nobody knows how he really sees himself.

Lust was always shoved down his throat as sexual only. So he went with it. He was supposed to be the Avatar of Lust. To be what was expected of him and to make sure he was liked, he did what he thought everyone wanted.

And it turned him into someone he never wanted to be. He didn’t know how to find himself again.

He isn’t nearly as sexual and lewd as everyone thinks. He’s touchy and clingy, yes, but touch is his love language.

When he’s hurt or doesn’t feel well, if he’s had a bad day, if he’s sad- all he wants is to be held by the person he loves and who loves him. He wants to hold hands or link arms. He wants to wrap his arms around them all the time. 

But because everyone in Devildom only saw him as a sex symbol, he had to bury his truest desires. He had a persona to keep up. 

While he does love to take care of himself, he used to break mirrors because he was so sick of who he had become. It took a lot of time for him to get through it. 

His MC is the only one who wasn’t tainted by his power. A power that seemed to just be active all the time whether he wanted it or not.

Everyone was all over him but it wasn’t as if he could control it. His sin was always active, it attracted people.

But MC wasn’t interested or affected. 

And that was what was most attractive to him. 

They saw him for who he was and encouraged him to just be the true Asmo. Not the Asmo everyone wanted to see.

He is excellent at sewing. He loves making his own accessories and clothing from his own designs. 

He’s ambidextrous. You think that the king of fashion only uses one hand? Darling, if he only used one hand then his homework would never get done. He write with one hands and be painting his toes with the other. 

One of the few people that can get Levi out of his room to hang out. They’ve always been close. Sometimes he does that just so the others can get Levi’s laundry and dirty dishes.

He’s the most emotionally open and stable of the brothers. He’s made peace with his inner monsters and can coexist with them. He’s also surprisingly good at advice. 

Can and will break into Lucifer’s study to make the eldest relax because he’s working too har.

He has bobby pins on him at all times. Not just for fashion but for lockpicking! He can be clever and beautiful!

[ignitedbynatsu]

Jealousy pt. 2

A/N: another update whatt 👀 here is the long awaited part 2 of jealousy! I hope you like it @softiebadbitch! I've written a couple more one shots, which are currenlty in my drafts, but I'm gonna be spreading them over the next couple weeks (at least try to because I'm so impatient af) since I have finals and not much time to come up with complete new story ideas.

Genre: maybe a bit of angst? Fluff

Warnings: some swearing, some doubt about the relationship

🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡 🗡🗡🗡 

He shouldn’t mind, he never spared it any thought before, so why did it bother him now so much? He’s used to your extreme friendliness, so why was it that he was only now getting annoyed by it? Was it because of Laxus? It couldn’t possibly be, he trusted the both of you with his whole heart. The only thing he was certain of was the fact that something didn’t sit right with him when he saw you and Laxus return from the job, shoving each other playfully around. He shouldn’t be surprised that you managed to crack Laxus, you had that effect on people after all, but for him also to break so easily? It just didn’t feel right.

“There you are!” your angelic voice filled his ears, and all of his worries he that had occupied his mind only seconds ago, suddenly seemed to vanish when you placed a short sweet kiss on his lips as a way of saying hello.

“How was the job?” Freed smiled down at you as he waited for you extravagant explanation you always gave when you returned from a mission.

“Laxus was totally exaggerating, he could’ve easily done the job by himself” You playfully roll your eyes at how he made it sound like you were the only one who could’ve helped him with the job “but it was fun! I finally got to see a more personal side of Laxus. I now truly understand why you admire him so much. He really is an amazing mage and surprisingly funny too!”

On the outside, the green-haired mage nodded along as you kept explaining all the ‘cool’ stuff Laxus did during the mission, while on the inside he wanted nothing more but for you to stop talking. He was acting petty, he knew it, he just couldn’t help himself “sounds like you two had a lot of fun, how about we end the day with a home-cooked meal and a movie?”

Freed was ready to leave these weird feelings behind and just bask in your love and affection, but you seemed to have other plans, quite literally for that matter “I would love to, but Laxus had already asked me to join him for some drinks to celebrate the success of the job”

“I see” he pressed his lips in a thin line as his eyes trailed towards the blonde mage. He knew he and his two other friends were planning something by the way they were talking and sneaking a glance at the two of you every so often. He just hadn’t quite figured out what. Did they have a bet that you wouldn’t be able to crack Laxus? Or was it something different?

He opted for the second option when Laxus appeared by your side, not sparing Freed even a glance “You ready to go?” The way Laxus hand rested on your lower back to guide you out of the guild, made the hairs on his arms stand up, but he refused to show any hint of annoyance.

“Bye, love, see you tonight!” You called out to Freed as you let Laxus guide you out of the guild.

The following days, the uneasy feeling never left Freed, in fact, it only got worse. He could feel his calm and composed act break, but he didn’t care. The anxiety and jealousy he was feeling were much more important than a stupid image. He still couldn’t wrap his head around what was going, and perhaps that was the most frustrating part of it all.

He shouldn’t feel jealous, he knows he shouldn’t. He knew you two would never do something to hurt you, he knew that deep down, and yet his mind kept playing tricks on him, sending him down the dark rabbit hole known as doubt.

It was only when Laxus willingly gave you a hug, that he decided he had enough “Okay, what the actual fuck is going on”

You were taken aback by the strong language coming out of your boyfriend's mouth. You didn’t know whether to be more shocked at the fact that he raised his voice out of nowhere or the fact that he just cussed at you. “I- What?”

“What’s going on between you two? And don’t you dare say nothing. You’re suddenly best buddies out of nowhere and decide to never leave each other alone for more than a second after that. Didn’t you two think that was at least a bit suspicious? You better come clean with me right now, or so help me God” Freed’s eyes were literally shooting fire as they darted between you and Laxus.

You had never seen this side of your boyfriend, and it kind of terrified you. Terrified by how he suddenly blew up without any warning. Did he give you any signs this past week? Were you being a horrible significant other for not hesitating for a moment and take his feelings into account? You should’ve known, but then again, why hasn’t this happened before considering you’re like this with everyone else too?

“Freed, I-“ You were still somewhat speechless, and before you could even sincerely apologize, you heard Bickslow cheering from behind you “finally!”

You whipped your head back so quick, you’re surprised it didn’t give you whiplash as you looked at him and evergreen who were now approaching you three “Took you long enough”

“It’s still less than a week” Laxus shrugged nonchalantly. Freed had cooled down a bit, but his eyes still held a hint of rage in them, “what the hell is going on?”

“Oh my, Freed, you sure get a foul mouth when you break your façade” Evergreen snickered while the said mage shot her a death glare, absolutely not in the mood for her snarky remarks.

“Can someone please tell me, us-” your eyes darted towards Freed for a mere second when you said that before eying your other friends again “-what is going on?

“Right, right. So, Evergreen over here was confused as to how Freed never got jealous over the fact that you’re so friendly with everyone” Once again you were questioning your qualities of being a good girlfriend “and then we realized that we had never seen Freed break his composed attitude under any circumstance-“

“so you thought, why not toy with our relationship?” the annoyance coated every word that left the green-haired mage’s lips. To say that he was disappointed in his friends was putting it mildly.

“It makes us look like bad friends if you put it that way” Evergreen mumbled as she looked away in shame. To be fair, she didn’t think Laxus would actually succeed in his job.

“Because you kinda are, right now” Freed sighed in disbelief at the obvious statement Evergreen just made “and for you to actually participate in one of Evergreen’s scheme’s, Laxus? What did they offer? You know what? I don’t care. Hope it was worth it.”

Freed stormed out of the guild, ignoring the shouts of his friends. You sighed deeply before finally speaking up as well “what you guys did, was kind of messed up, but I’ll talk with Freed about it and get him to soften up a little.”

“Thank you, (Y/N). We really never meant for this to happen. We’re so sorry” Bickslow apologized with the other two chiming in.

“Whether he forgives you guys is up to him, but I’ll see what I can do.” You hummed, ready to leave as well but stopped when you heard Laxus voice. “What about you?”

“Next time when you have an idea like that again, maybe stop and think about our feelings too. See you guys tomorrow” You gave them a small smile and actually left this time.

Once home, you immediately noticed a frustrated Freed, sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. “I’m home”

“(Y/N), I-“ You stop him before he can muster any more words “stop if you’re going to apologize, don’t. You had every right to act the way you did. I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner, now that I think about it. I’ve been acting like a terrible girlfriend and for that I’m sorry, I’ll do better from now on. I promise”

Freed quickly got up and took a couple of long strides before stopping in front of you. He placed both his hand on your cheeks, lifting it slightly, so you were looking him in the eyes “No, you stop that right now. You’re not a bad girlfriend, you’re the furthest thing from it. I knew what I would get myself into when I asked you to be my girlfriend. I didn’t expect you to change, nor do I expect that from you now. I’ve let my insecurities taken over whenever I saw you with Laxus, which I should’ve never done since I deeply love and trust the both of you.”

“You know I would never leave you for Laxus, right?” You whispered, scared that if you’d talk any louder your voice would break. “You should really give yourself some more credit. Laxus isn’t superior to you. In any case, you are superior to him”

“You only say that because you love me” he rolled his eyes, but appreciated your attempt at cheering him up nonetheless.

“Maybe, but does that really matter? You’re perfect the way you are, and I love you with every single cell in my body and believe me there are a lot” You joked lightly, trying to get rid of the tense mood, in which you succeeded cause you even managed to get a light chuckle out of Freed. “In all seriousness, though, I’m sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t trust me.”

“And I’m sorry for even doubting you in the first place” He removed his hands from your cheeks as he placed a soft kiss on top of your head while wrapping his arms around your figure, your hand automatically sneaked around his waist as you laid your head against his chest.

“You know, Bickslow, Ever and Laxus really didn’t mean any harm but that horrible stunt they did” you mumbled as you both swayed slightly from side to side.

“I know, I’ll forgive them eventually, I just want to let them dwell on it for a little bit more.” He hummed in agreement. You lifted your head from his chest to look at him with an amused smirk on your lips, “what?”

“You really do have an evil side when you get ticked off. Remind me to never get on your bad side” you shook your head in amusement before laying your head back on his chest, feeling the vibration of his laughter against the side of your head.

[touyasdoll]

An idea for past Reader x Shirakumo, Aizawax reader (unrequited-may turn to requited but not in the distant future)

Consider- gen ed fem reader being a part of the rooftop gang and being in a happy relationship with Shirakumo. After his death she becomes hyper focused on her and oboro's shared dream of building a safe space for children from abusive homes. Though she does keep in contact with Hizashi and nemuri. Shouta avoids her like a plague. Theirs miscommunication, both parties thinking that the other blames/hates them. Any calls from her are ignored by Shouta. Shouta also thinks that the reader forgot oboro which just makes him filled with disgust.

From her studies reader can spot when something is wrong about children just by taking one glance at them. When she sees the SF- she feels like she has seen a ghost when she sees Midoriya's smile. That's not the only thing- she spots several red flags in his, Shouto and Hitoshi's behaviour. Knowing Shouta would ignore her she just contacts Tsukauchi and opens an investigation for them. Shouta is not impressed with her meddling in his life. Though he does get a feeling like a slap to the face when the concerning truths about the trio are revealed. Again in the hot mess of hurt-why didn't they approach me? How didn't I see this? I am a hero and their teacher! Oh god how did I miss this!! His response is anger which causes further miscommunications with the reader. And ends with the reader slapping him and leaving.

The reader does come back during the eri situation- on nezu's request- the things btwn her and Shouta are tense. But they tolerate each other. Reader is just happy to see Eri (she again feels like a memory / spectre from past is haunting her when she sees Izuku (less damaged, scarred, and traumatised) and Eri interact)

Flashforward to the kurogiri reveal- where she sees what happened to the man she still continues to love. " It's funny that even in this state u never changed. Always having a soft spot for children. Cuz that's what Tomura is for you... Isn't he Shirakumo?" A son... That's what she didn't say aloud. And miraculously oboro responds with an affirmative.

And while reader is breaking apart, Hizashi and Shouta can't do anything but watch. There own hearts shattering apart. While Shouta had forgotten about everyone in his grief, you and Hizashi had to tread through this mess all by yourselves.

So when he sees u pulling away like how he did all those years ago he refuses to just sit and watch. His own heart is in conflict- his own feelings for you still tightly shut away and grief for a friend who died too young. Not to mention the cluster fuck of guilt blocking his veins.

But being there for you is the least he can do- as a friend and in the place of Shirakumo himself. Too bad you have no intentions of making it easy on him. Years of pent up confusion, grief and rage and hurt- ohgodShirakumoisdeadHepromisedWhywhywhy?!whatdidIdo?whydoeshehateme?IhatehimHowdarehe?!Hisbody!!!thosesickfuckstheyviolatedhisbody!!!Kurogiri's!!!ithurtithurt it h u r t s

U decide how it goes forward.

o u c h my soul 😭 this made me feel some things. Especially the bit about seeing Oboro again as Kurogiri 💔

But I’d like to imagine that after that damn breaks between you and Aizawa and he realizes that he’s been selfish in his grief, he starts coming around more. Starts really trying to be there for you in any way that he can and you start trying to do the same. Like you’re both trying to make up for lost time, wanting to make the most of a salvaged friendship. It’s what Oboro would want for you both anyway.

And he’s come to realize that you never forgot about Oboro at all, but rather have lived every single day with the intention of carrying his spirit with you in your work. He sees how truly and deeply you always loved him and have continued to, even after all these years that he’s been gone.

He admires you for it. Admires your strength and resilience and then realizes that he admires you perhaps a bit too fondly. He’s falling hard and fast and he can’t help but to notice how much so each time he sees you. His heart pounding in his chest whenever he sees your smile, wishing he could pull you in and feel that same smile pressed against his lips.

Little does he know that you’re secretly wishing that he would one day. That you’re afraid he would go back to hating you all over again if you made the first move on him, as if he might see it as some slight to Oboro, when it’s really just a genuine attraction to a soul as battered as your own that has somehow found a way to remain kind after the turmoil.