#stop hurting Kirito so much

[transboykirito]

Never thought I was into trans boys but your T voice is… 😳 HNNNGGGG Are you interested in being bred? Do you degrade cis men? 🫣🥵

"More... Hug me, harder..."

More strength was brought into his arms as they hugged me tightly, sending shocks that numbed the very core of my mind.

"Haa..."

Unable to hold it back, a deep, long breath leaked out from me.

"...Okay."

I whispered, with my lips near Kirito's ears.

There was hesitation in what I said, but... there was no regret.

"Eh...?"

Perhaps he didn't hear it, but Kirito was making a bewildered face.

I found that puzzled expression lovely, but a vehement embarrassment came over me.

"Li-Like I said, it's okay!"

"That's why I'm asking what is??"

Do you really not understand in a situation like this?! ...It happened the moment I realised that.

...Somethi--ng snapped.

"Like I said! I'm okay with having sex!"

Due to the blood rising to my head, I screamed an outrageous line out loud.

Kirito prepared to enter me...

With the thought of that, despite it merely pressing against my entrance, honey flowed out from me without end.

"Liz..."

"Hmm, do it... deeper."

*zubu... zubuzubu... guchu*

Every time Kirito's member gently sunk into me, lewd noises came from me, the count of which surpassed the act itself. But this was no time to be shy over those sounds.

"Fuaa... ah-"

An ardent heat and numbness surged from where we were connected; my head, my body close to melting away. I didn't realise that I was embracing Kirito tighter to me, wanting to feel him deeper within me until I noticed the pleasure it was giving me.

"What... no... no way, it's only my first time... why do I feel this good..."

The first time will hurt. That detail I learnt from magazines and such flittered about my mind.

To feel this good on my first time, was I just really perverted from the start?

I felt burdened with that worry without realising that SAO was different from the real world, but I still ended up grinding my waist, wanting more of Kirito's cock in me.

"Liz, aah... i-if you do that, I'll..."

"Haa... nn, sorry, I can't stop anymore... You feel so good, Kirito..."

*guchu, chupu, chupo* Each time Kirito's member thrust in and out of me, a sensation much like that of an intense electric shock assailed me, and I bit into his shoulder in an attempt to avoid succumbing to it.

If someone were to look at where we were joined, they would see our nether regions jammed against each other, and Kirito with his unbelievably thick penis...

Impaling... what was below my clit which was engorged with excitement, my vagina, making damp noises while drenched in sticky fluids.

"Aah... this is so perverted... b-but... it's so good, Kirito... this really is my first time, alright, it's because it's you, all because of you, that I'm like this, Kirito!"

"I know... Liz."

As though trying to soothe me, Kirito kissed me.

Those kind eyes and words of Kirito... I love them, so very much.

My thoughts have already melted away into a mess, but I couldn't help but continue bucking my waist, longing for more of Kirito.

...This is so embarrassing, but it feels so right...

"! I'm... nn..."

Kirito's desperate cries were conveyed to me. The mere thoughts of them shook my body with euphoria and passion.

"It's okay, Kirito. Let it out in me..."

Kirito's thrusts became more frenzied. Each push sent my breasts, which could hardly be called plentiful, squirming as their peaks grazed against Kirito's chest, setting off fireworks in my head.

"Liz...!"

"Aah... Haa... I'm melting... I'm melting---!!"

The moment Kirito's hot fluids gushed into me... I embraced him just tightly as I hit my climax with him deep within me.

...Night.

Shivering in the chilly night wind, my eyes opened.

"A... dream?"

As I gradually regained my wits... my entire body flushed red in an instant as I recalled the contents of the dream.

SAO has a system with an extensive range of emotions, so my head might really be letting out steam now.

Upon turning towards Kirito in a panic, I saw him sleeping with a somewhat carefree expression.

"...Just what, am I dreaming about--"

Calming down, I lowered my tension and... what is this chill?

"Eh?"

When I looked between my legs, where I was sleeping in the sleeping bag... there was a sticky wetness.

"Don't... tell me..."

Opening the menu in a fluster, I checked the Ethics Code Cancellation Mode buried at the bottom of all those levels. ...It was on.

"I-I... While sleeping with Kirito, without even knowing... Uaah."

It's true that I'm the type that can stop alarm clocks no matter how complex they are, without waking up.

But still, this is way too embarrassing!

"Ah, geez, this is all your fault as well, Kirito!"

That's certainly a childish sleeping face, now that I look at it properly... While thinking so, I tried telling the sleeping Kirito.

And then, I slipped back into the sleeping bag, burying my face into Kirito's chest.

"I fell in love with you... Kirito."

[amorelray]

#1. Sword Art Online⚔

❗WARNING - DARK THEMES❗

I have words upon words upon words upon words that I could say about this show, but I will try my best to keep it fairly concise.✍🏻

The biggest reason that I've been attached to this show is because of the main character, Kirito. In the beginning of this show, he's young and lost. He reminded me quite a bit of myself & who I was growing up. I will be sharing ❗spoilers❗ from here on out. So, if you'd like to watch the show (& haven't yet) - all I'm going to say is that it's worth it.

Starting with his survivor's guilt that he has over his fallen guild, I too have held myself responsible for things that I thought, "if I had just shared this info," or "told them that one thing," I could have changed fate. I've held responsibility in my hands over things not quite as heavy as watching a group of friends die, but on things that weighed on my heart too. Just like Kirito, I find myself taking the blame and burden for things around me - even when it's outside of my control. He had no idea that his guildmate would fall for the trap and he desperately tried to stop them before it happened; he also fought tooth and nail just to make it out of there alive. He was 14 at the time; he did what he could, but he blamed himself anyways...and honestly, I would have done the same.

The next thing that I immediately gravitated towards with him was the fact that he cut himself off from everyone because he was afraid to hurt anyone else. To say that I've done that would be sugar coating it🙃. When I was younger (& even still some today), I shoved people away - people that I loved at the time, because I felt like I was a monster, a burden. He felt that with being a "Beater" (Beta Tester/Cheater), he put others' lives in danger and instead of risking it ever again - he was the lone, black swordsman. I felt that loneliness with him. I understand what it feels like to imagine that the world would be better off if you were just a person passing by - not causing any troubles. It's lonely, but you think you're doing everyone else a favor by not getting in the way. You're sad when you go to sleep at night, but you desperately try to tell yourself that you're "doing the right thing" in order not to fall asleep in tears.

As he grows and gains friends (that sometimes he had 0 intent to have), I also feel that emotion with him. Over the years, I've allowed myself to open up a bit more and allow others into my life; just like he did. I also watch him time and time again put his life on the line for those friends - people he deems worthy to keep on living. I resonate with that idea and that passions because I would also put my neck out for those who I loved and saw as "family."

Over and over, he's thrown new situations and dilemmas that he has to do his best to adapt to. I, as well, have had to deal with the curveballs of that life has thrown my way and take it in stride. Kirito and I both do our best to act like we're 100% okay on the outside and push aside our emotions, but deep down - we're both broken and very emotional human beings. He bottles it all up, just like I do. We're the same in many, many ways.

I'm really putting my heart on the line with this post, but if you ever want to "get to know me" better, watch Sword Art Online and realize that Kirito is a lot of my bad, but also a lot of my good. We're both human and really think along the same lines of what we'd do for ourselves and those around us. There's a big reason why he's stayed my number 1 for 8 years (about the amount of time I've been watching Anime as well😅).

This guy really deserves to smile after the years of agony that he's been through - & so do I. 🖤

I love this show so much that I've seen every season at least twice through (Season 1 more like 6-8 times) & I've seen/own the movie (Ordinal Scale). It is by far my favorite and easily my comfort show. So, if you watch it, I hope you enjoy it too!

[m34gs]

For the anime ask: 6, 9, 14, 25

Thank you for the ask, friend!! (from this post) There might be some spoilers ahead, but that kind of comes with the territory for questions like these. Beware!

6. popular anime you didn’t like

Are you trying to get me killed, friend. Do you want to see the Meags dead in the ditch. (I jest. Only god can kill me, and only when I'm ready.)

Alright, I have to admit: I don't actually tend to really know what's popular. Sometimes I know, sometimes I'm like 'oh this is so good I bet everyone watches it' and no one else I know has heard of it, or sometimes everyone is like 'oh this show is so popular!!!' and I'm over here like 'whomst?'. Comes from not being allowed a internet or personal ipods/computers when I was younger, and our TV channels were limited. So, bear that in mind while I list my answers and my reasons.

Sword Art Online: Hate. Hate hate hate. Loathe. Kirito? More like Kiri-NO. He's so...bland. And annoying. And I just despise him. Couldn't watch the full thing. Don't like. Don't like at ALL.

Yugioh: I used to watch episodes here and there on 4KidsTV. I didn't like it. I did not like the art style and character designs and I didn't get what the big deal was about them battling with cards. And even now that I'm older, I could probably go and rewatch it, but I don't really want to. Just. No desire.

Kuroko's Basketball: Let me just first start by clarifying. I was actually interested in this anime at the start. But then they started making the sports actions out to be super-powers...and I didn't know at the time that Sports Anime is just Like That. So then I became more neutral about it. And then. It dragged. It dragged so much. Like, the plot got so slowed and I got so bored I ended up not finishing it. So, there were parts I did enjoy, and I really liked a lot of the characters, but I can't say I liked this anime overall.

Chobits: Idk. It's cute and all, but also I just didn't enjoy the main dude. I found him annoying. Also stopped watching this one part way through. That's just something I do. If I find it does not Spark Joy, I stop watching the show. Because I don't like to waste my time on shows I don't like.

9. favorite anime child

This is a toss-up between Somali from Somali and the Forest Spirit and Anya from SpyxFamily.

Anya is cute and funny. She's so relatable in a humourous way, and she really does try her best. She fails a lot, but then sometimes her failures inadvertently save the day. Plus, she has some of The Greatest facial expressions.

Somali is an innocent human child discovered by a Golem in a forest; in a time and place where humans are nearly extinct and are hunted down by Beasts and magical being. The Golem is trying to get Somali back to her own kind. Somali is a sweetheart. She does her best to follow the Golem's direction and she genuinely cares about him, and she calls him papa. Similar to Anya, she is just trying Her Best. In contrast to Anya, she is much more quiet and timid.

Honestly, I can't choose. Both girls are very sweet.

14. saddest anime you have ever watched

Ok, Honestly, I've probably watched a lot of anime with sad things, and bittersweet endings...it's hard to really choose One. But, that being said, I do have one that comes to mind. Take it with a grain of salt, though, because this is my opinion, and my opinion is subject to change at any point and time lol.

Corpse Party.

Yes, I know it's based on a video game. Yes, I know it's in the horror genre. I don't care, it is still sad. It is sad more than anything. Why is it sad? I don't know where to start. I'm not going to recount all the deaths, onscreen or offscreen, because that would take too long. The situation itself is bleak; students trapped in a ghostly school with all sorts of spirits after them to hurt them and rip them apart? Maybe it's sad because they're children? They're supposed to represent hope and light and the future, and they get stuck in this school and (literally) torn to shreds. Also. The littlest one dies. Which, is like, that is a Big Thing, ok. LIke, even in regular horror movies; there was a time where You Did Not kill off the children (yes, I know there are plenty of child deaths in horror now, but it is still one of the more disturbing aspects of those movies). Kids end up being the unlikely heroes. The ones who persevere and survive despite their innocence and trust in others, or maybe even *because* of it. (or they end up being the demons, but that's not relevant here).

So when that little girl gets tortured and murdered, After putting her trust in an older boy who said he would help her...it brings a huge wave of sadness. She was so helpless. She just wanted to find her big brother. She went from hopeful and trusting to Terrified, and then dead. (not to mention the ghost possessing the place to begin with is Also A Child)

25. anime you would recommend to someone who hates anime

I don't really know if I have one specific anime for people who hate anime. I don't think there's a catch-all that everyone would enjoy. And I don't really like pushing things on other people if they've indicated they don't like it.

If I were to recommend one, it would entirely depend on the person. If they're nice to me about it and they indicate they want to try anime, I would talk with them and find out their interests before recommending. Someone who loves romance might not wanna sit through One Punch Man, you know? So I'd take the time to figure out some actual suggestions that they might genuinely enjoy.

But.

If they're mean to me. Or talk down to me.

I'm gonna recommend they watch Boku no Pico with their Grandmother. 😀

[bluerosesinthenightsky]

I believe that Eolyne is Eugeo, but not in the way that you think he is. {{An in depth Theory}} -This is either 1000 IQ, or I’m losing my God Damn mind. You pick.

Eolyne is a reincarnation of Eugeo, but they’re not exactly the same person. Eugeo is the core of who Eolyne is, but Eolyne is also a new fraction of Eugeo. He’s his own person. Because people change, they don’t remain the same. Eugeo might be the core of Eolyne, but Eolyne is also his own unique person and he’s lived a life all his own.

_ _

Think of it like this, Eolyne is essentially an Integrity Knight in a way. His memories and feelings of Kirito have been locked away, but within Eolyne, Eugeo is still there - just dormant.

_ _

Let’s talk about their fluctlight ids.

_ _

Eugeo’s ID is NND7-6361

and

Eolyne’s ID is NCD1-13091

_ _

Okay, so they’re very different, so like there’s no way they could be one in the same right? 

_ _

Well interestingly enough, in the novel the Blue Rose Sword’s object id is:   DI:WSM:0131. 

_ _ {{The other id for the Blue Rose Sword we see is WLSS703, but in the light novel it’s: DI:WSM:0131. And since the novel is technically the true canon -because the anime did change things around and omit events, and such- we are going to go with the end all be all that the true ID for the Blue Rose Sword is  DI:WSM:0131.}}

_ _

If you recall Eugeo became one with the sword so technically his fluctlight id would change, right? Meaning that his fluctlight would become one with the sword, I would think. 

_ _

So wouldn’t that change some of Eugeo’s id to: DI:WSM:0131? -for the time he was merged with the sword, before and after his death.-

_ _

Now if you look at Eolyne’s id you see it has the numbers: 13091

If you remove the 9 you get 1301.

If you move the numbers around from 1301 and you put 0 in the front, follow it up with 1, then 3, then 1 again you get

0131. -This matches the Blue Rose Sword’s ID. 

Now if you take the two 6′s in Eugeo’s fluctlight id and you add them together, you get 12! And if you subtract 12 by the number 3 in Eugeo’s fluctlight you get, you guessed it: 9!

And the number 9 is in Eolyne’s id.

_ _

Now you ask: Well what about the 1 in Eugeo’s fluctlight at the end, if you subtract or add that to 9, then wouldn’t the number change to 8 or 10, instead of 9? Well there’s a simple explanation for that. 

_ _

Eugeo and the Blue Rose Sword’s ids come together to make Eolyne’s id. 

_ _

The system would take the two ids and merge them together, which means that some numbers could be dropped completely or added on, so the 1 in Eugeo’s fluctlight id was dropped and replaced with the 9 after adding 6 to become 12 and subtract the 3. Then the dropped 1 from Eugeo’s fluctlight id replaced the number 7 in NND7 to become NCD1.  _ _

So now you’ wonder, well what about how the middle N in NND7? How did that N change to a C to make NCD1?

_ _

To answer your question...I actually don’t know. There’s no C in Eugeo’s fluctlight id or the object id of the Blue Rose Sword. My only guess is that the C is unique to Eolyne and Eolyne alone. It’s a unique difference, one single letter changed, to differentiate Eolyne from Eugeo.

_ _

So... to get to the point:

Basically the system merged Eugeo and The Blue Rose Sword together as one, and that entity became Eolyne and the N to C letter change represents that even though Eugeo is the core base of Eolyne, Eolyne is his own person as well.

And I realize I might be reaching or looking too far into this, but it’s really too peculiar of a coincidence that taking Eugeo’s Fluctlight id and The Blue Rose Sword’s id and putting them together matches somewhat up with Eolyne’s fluctlight id - just that the we had to rearrange numbers, add and subtract some and swap out a letter to create Eolyne’s id.

_ _

There’s also far too many coincidences to overlook that Eolyne and Eugeo are one in the same, but also different.

For one Kirito keeps remarking how similar Eugeo and Eolyne are. They both have blonde hair, their eyes are both green, it’s confirmed they share the same voice actor for crying out loud. And I bet once the mask comes off, we will see that Eolyne’s face is identical to Eugeo’s or nearly identical.

Now back to explaining how Eugeo and Eolyne can be one in the same, but also not the same and different. You see, Eolyne is his own person too. He’s lived his own life separate from the life he lived as Eugeo. But he will still have Eugeo’s memories and feelings from his past life.

_ _

{{He might recover those memories or feelings sometime during The Novel and Anime, or they might remain dormant forever. But let’s just assume he’s going to regain those memories and feelings, and go from there.}}

_ _

So

Eolyne is technically both Eugeo and not Eugeo at the same time, which is very contradictory. But if you take into the fact people change and become someone new every day, then it’s easy to overlook the contradiction. 

Eolyne is basically an anomaly in this way. The core of his fluctlight was built up from the remains of whatever was left of Eugeo and the Blue Rose Sword - but the other part of him is his very own unique part, not relating to Eugeo at all.

So I believe if/when Eolyne recalls his memories of his past life and the feelings that go along with it, he will either decide to live as he always has - as Eolyne, or Eugeo, or even both.

And that no matter who Eolyne chooses to live as, Kirito will accept and support his choice. Because Eugeo/Eolyne will always be Kirito’s best friend, no matter what life they’re in. And even if Eolyne decides to live just as Eolyne, he will still cherish and love Kirito just as Eugeo would have.

_ _

{{Also it’s kind of ironically amazing isn’t it? That this theory here sort of parallels the theory that Kirito’s dual wielding is a metaphor for him being bi, while Eugeo becoming Eolyne can be a metaphor for a trans person transitioning. AKA Eugeo/Eolyne deciding to live as either Eugeo, Eolyne or both. Just like how a trans person can choose to live as a male, a female, both, or even niether.}}

{{I know a lot of people will argue with me on this front, but like you cannot deny that Kirito’s dual wielding can be a metaphor for bisexuality, and Eugeo’s {{possible}} reincarnation could be a metaphor for transitioning. Even if they’re not exact in terms of actual bisexuality and transitioning, the implications are definitely still there.}}

I know I’m probably reaching. I know this is probably just my desperate shipper heart of both romantic Yujikiri and platonic Yujikiri because I enjoy both - trying to confirm it to myself that Eugeo and Eolyne are the same, even though different. I am well aware of it. There’s probably several holes in my theory, and I accept that.

Just please let me have this, if nothing else. Please just let me believe that the creator Reki Kawahara knows what he’s doing and that he planned this all along, and I’ve cracked the case. _ _ To me it’s just too much of a coincidence, that you can mess around with the arrangement of the numbers, and the addition and subtraction of Eugeo’s fluctlight id and the Blue Rose Sword’s id to get Eolyne’s fluctlight id. Like that cannot just be by accident, if it is, then that's one hell of an accident. This would make Eolyne an entity that was created by fusing Eugeo and The Blue Rose Sword together as one living and breathing entity. {{But seriously, what are the chances of all this being just an accident?!}} 

In the words of Master Oogway:

Also let’s not forget the fact that Eolyne basically said the very same thing Eugeo did when he met {{or rather was reunited with}} Kirito.

Which was: 

“Nice to meet you, Kirito-kun.”

{{This seriously cannot just be a whole bunch of miraculous coincidences. You miss me with that!}} 

{{You gonna TELL ME? That Eolyne just happened to say the same thing Eugeo did when Kirito reunited with Eugeo? You’re gonna say that Kirito reuniting with Eolyne isn’t also him reuniting with Eugeo?! How could it be anything else?}}

_

_

Nevertheless...

It’s just like the question asked in Avatar The Last Air Bender: Do you believe friendships can transcend lifetimes?

If you want my answer: Yes, they can. Even if the second time around -or even the 3rd or 4th, or so on-, that person is not exactly the same person in their past life or lives, the truth of the matter is that the core part of them will always be the same - no matter how different they are from one life to the next. And it’s up to them to choose who they want to live life as.

 The very idea that Kirito and Eugeo’s friendship/relationship with one another could {{and possibly has}} transcended a lifetime...?

That my friends...

Is heartbreakingly beautiful in all the right ways.

[kotorilovesalpacas]

What Hurts the Most (Kirito x Reader)

After being forced to join Knights of the Blood Oath, Kirito will be forced to obey their commands, even if it means losing dear friends of his.

A/N: I have not kept up with SAO past the first two seasons so this was based on the very first season, when I was still new to anime and had a big fat crush on Kirito like probably 90% of people lmao.

Pairings: Kirito x Reader

Warnings: angst, spoilers ig if u somehow haven’t seen the first half of the very first season at the very least

It was the day after Kirito had fought Heathcliff. He had been forced to join the Knights of the Blood Oath. He hadn’t wanted to, of course, but Kirito had always been one to keep his word. That was just one of the many things I liked about him.

I sighed as I picked at the grass. It almost felt as though I was in the outside world again. But the sight of my blue and white clothing took me back to the wretched game: Sword Art Online. Laying back on the grass, I ran a pale hand through my hair.

He was supposed to be here.

The corner of the screen told me that it was already past noon. Kirito had said he would meet me at noon sharp. After that, he would be heading out with some members of the Knights of the Blood Oath. I knew that, once he headed out with them, it was unlikely that I would see him again.

We had grown to be rather close. Since he and I preferred to work alone, we didn’t always group up. But when we did, it was easy to take down monsters. It was far easier to level up when I was with him. But Kirito had met Asuna, and he spent most of his time with her.

It hurt. But I remained silent for his sake.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” A voice jolted me from my daydream. I cracked open an eye to see a pair of onyx eyes looking down at me. Black hair hung in front of his face, his mouth stretched into a large grin. “Heathcliff was reluctant to let me leave.”

Instead of his normal black clothing, he wore the white and red material that had been forced upon him. It didn’t look bad, it just didn’t look like him. Kirito seemed far comfier in his own clothes.

“Don’t worry about it.” I fixed him with a small smile. As I sat up, I patted the ground beside me. Kirito took a seat beside me, staring out at the sky.

The blue was more vibrant in virtual reality. Everything had been designed to be a better version of what the outside world had to offer. If I hadn’t been trapped in the damn game, I would have been able to appreciate it.

“You said you wanted to talk?” He turned his head to look at me. I nodded, though I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. There was so much I wanted to say, but so little time.

I wanted to tell him how I truly felt. I wanted to tell him that I had fallen him from the very moment I met him. I wanted to tell him that I believed in him, that I always would believe in him. But I couldn’t form the right sentences in my head.

“Are you okay?” His voice was laced with more concern this time. Furrowed brows met my gaze as I reluctantly turned my head. My wide eyes danced across his face, examining his features. It could have been the last time I would see him. “Come on, say something.”

“You look weird in those clothes.” I said, before glancing away from him. Kirito instantly looked down at the mash of red and white. He nodded, a melodic laugh escaping his lips. “Now I’ll have to remember you in them.”

His laugh immediately stopped.

“What do you mean?” The playfulness had left his voice, leaving only concern and worry. I realized that I had chosen the wrong words. Did he not realize that we would not see each other once he worked alongside them?

The Knights of the Blood Oath had hated me for a long time. I didn’t play by the rules of the game and continued to surpass the game’s expectation. After all, I hadn’t earned my title of Blue Lightning by sitting back and doing nothing. They were constantly out to shut me down.

There had been a single occasion, on which they had managed to catch me off guard. I had been fighting a rather difficult dungeon boss by myself, darting here and there as I slashed at it viciously. My health was barely hitting the halfway mark as I finished the monster off.

As I stepped back to collect the loot, they had burst into the room. There had been a group of five or six, all ready to jump on me and hand me in. With wide eyes, I had selected a few health potions, and readied myself to fight.

I had taken on all six of them, bringing each health bar dangerously close to zero. I hadn’t killed any of them, though. There was no way I would be able to live with myself if I’d killed someone because of the game.

So I’d taken my time lowering each health bar, before I sternly told them to stop tracking me down. I threatened to kill each and every one of them if I ever had to encounter the Knights of the Blood Oath ever again.

There was a bad history between myself and the Knights of the Blood Oath. Therefore, they would merely use Kirito as a stepping stone to chase me down again. It would be nearly impossible for Kirito and me to continue seeing each other, especially if the threat of being hunted was always looming over my shoulder.

“You know what I mean, Kirito.” The words slowly tugged themselves out of my mouth. I wanted to cry. Every inch of my being felt saddened by the inevitable loss of my friend. Even if we were only ever going to be friends, I wanted him by my side. I felt safe with him. “You’re with them now.”

“So? If I want to go to a dungeon with you, they can’t stop me.” Kirito shrugged it off, leaning back on his hands. I sighed, wrapping my arms around my legs and bringing them to my chest. I rested my chin upon my arms, attempting to keep the tears at bay. “You’re getting yourself worked up over nothing.”

“But it isn’t nothing, Kirito. You don’t understand.” I muttered, glaring at the horizon.

Of course he wouldn’t understand. I wasn’t telling him anything. My brain told me that I should tell him how I felt, but all communications between my brain and my mouth had dissipated.

“Then explain.” He said, placing a hand on my shoulder. Instinctively, I shook him off. His hand dropped to the grass beside me, before he retracted his arm hesitantly. I was being unreasonable. It wasn’t his fault. “I’m going to be late.”

“I can’t explain, Kirito.” With that, I stood up. I brushed the grass off of my legs, turning away from him. “This was stupid. Have fun.”

I went to walk away. My brain yelled at me. My heart yelled at me. A hand grasped hold of my wrist forcefully. Kirito spun my body round, his hand gripping my wrist so tightly that it almost hurt.

“What is this about?” His dark eyes met mine. He looked fierce, determined. He looked as if he hadn’t seen several people succumb to this twisted game. I always admired that, too. Despite everything, Kirito continued to push forward.

I love you, I thought. But my mouth wasn’t responding. All I could do was stare back at him. My gaze flickered towards his HP bar, then back to his face. My hand longed to reach out. My fingers longed to tangle in his hair. I love you so damn much. I want to fight for you. I believe in you.

“Seriously, what is it?” His grip on my wrist loosened ever so slightly. My eyes raked over his body once more. I missed his black outfit. I wouldn’t get to see it again. I wouldn’t get to see him again. The mere thought made tears appear in my eyes. As they fell down my cheeks, his eyes widened.

“Good luck.” I whispered as he pulled me into a tight hug. From the way his arms tightened around me, I could tell that he was fighting tears, too. Just knowing that he would miss me was enough. A sad smile tugged at the corners of my lips. “I believe in you, Kirito.”

With that, I swiped open my menu and left him. He stumbled forward as my body faded away. I closed my eyes tightly, allowing a sob to pass my lips. It echoed around the empty field, in which Kirito now stood alone.

I never managed to tell him. I never would be able to tell him. That was what hurt the most. Knowing that he would never be aware of how much I loved him.

[sabraeal]

Documented for Posterity, Part 2

[Read on AO3]

1:20    Method 1: Subject attempts to sleep off effects

In those first few halcyon moments before Yuzuri reaches for the lamp, Suzu has high hopes. It’s not the first time he’s slept off an inappropriately pitched tent; college dormitories and trips to the field don’t leave much in the way of privacy.  He prefers other methods, of course, but as he settles down against a pillow of his jacket and a blanket of Yuzuri’s cloak, he’s got a good good about his chances.

But then her fingers flip the flame down to the faintest flicker, light dancing through the glass with a demure wave, and--

Well, now he’s just locked in a dark room with stiff cock and a girl dressed not only in a clinging chemise-- there’s a flirty ripple of lace sewn to the curve of her decolletage that he’s personally finding very hard not to dwell on-- but also smelling like apples and vanilla. His heart gallops triple time in his chest, not sure if he’s ravenous for pie, biscuits, or her cunt.

It’s a bit much, that’s what he’s trying to say.

“It’s hot in here,” he complains, because anything else will almost certainly end with him doing a walk of shame in his long johns and boots across the university’s main floor. “Don’t you think it’s hot in here?”

“Just try to sleep already,” Yuzuri sighs, impatient, somewhere behind his head. He can’t see her; she’s moved away from the lamp’s hazy glow, and from the sound of it, is back at the table, pen scratching at the rough parchment of the page.

Experiment one, she must be writing, in the looping, fat hand he’s seen in the log book and on placards in the hothouses. Subject trying to sleep away erection of middling size. In this researcher’s experience, it should only take fifteen minutes to reduce to its normal size, though the standard deviation for cocks--

“I can hear you thinking.” Her pen skips to a stop. “Stop it.”

“It’s hard.” He rolls over, half on his stomach before he’s reminded-- ah yes, not a good plan having that touch...anything. Even if it’s just cold storeroom floor. “I’m very smart, you know.”

“I can’t see how.” He can’t see her, but he knows how her mouth is pinched, elongating the elegant oval of her face, and her arched brows drawn down to look like the sternest librarian fantasy. “It’s not like you do it regularly anyway.”

He nearly corrects her-- once a day, whether he needs to or not, just to keep the pipes working and his sheets clean-- but she’s not talking about that.

“Hey.” Suzu’s in no position to put his hands anywhere near his hips, but spiritually, they’re there, arms indignantly akimbo. “I have plenty of ideas--”

“Then have more of them about sleeping,” she informs him, stocking feet scuffling on the floor. “It’s impossible to have results if a test subject refuses to participate in the experiment.”

“Fine.” His arms fold across his chest in a huff. “I will. But you should know--”

“Suzu.” The way her mouth wraps around his name, so soft and resigned, has every bit of him standing at attention in all the best worst ways. Or worst best. He can’t quite decide. “Shut up.”

2:10

Suzu would like the record to show-- if Yuzuri would be kind enough to oblige him, which he knows she won’t be-- he does give it an honest effort.

Five minutes of honest to goodness silence settles him-- at least, enough to realize he’s too scrawny to ever lay on a stone floor in comfort. His shoulder blades jut oddly into the mortared edges, and when he rolls into his side, his ribs grate. It’s cold too; even in his woolens, Suzu feels the frosts of winters past riming his spine. And quite honestly, warm as his coat is, it’s nothing next to a good down pillow. Most bedding doesn’t smell of lab chemicals and yesterday’s lost dumpling. And Yuzuri’s cloak--

Well, it’s soft, warm-- and it smells like her. And, fool that he is, Past-Suzu thinks that’s a plus. Oh, Past-Suzu just catches that hint of dessert on the air and sticks his nose right in, huffing down that sweet scent of apple crisp, letting the soft, flickering of the lamp lull him. He can’t see her, but line of sight has never been necessary, oh no, not when a semi-eidetic memory meets an imagination as overactive as his.

Yuzuri sits up on her chair, one stockinged leg tucked beneath her, the other dangling, foot arched as her toes strain to press against the floor. Her golden hair falls over one shoulder, leaving the other bare, chemise sliding down its pale cusp. It’s chilly in here; she raises a hand to guide it back up. Her fingers hesitate-- maybe it would be better if they shared heat. Suzu, after all, looked so cozy there on the floor. Angelic, even, with the way his hair curled over his jacket.

Slowly, she stands, padding over, dropping to her knees. Her breasts strain against the soft linen of her chemise, nipples aroused by the contact, her hand reaching--

“Nope!” Suzu bolts upright, hunching over his knees. It’s a bit of a feat, now that his tent had expanded into a pavilion. “This is...definitely not working.”

The valve squeaks, the shadows deepening as the lamp brightens. The glare Yuzuri levels at him over the table describes all the way that his fantasies will stay firmly in the realm of imagination, aphrodisiac-induced arousal or not.  “Really?”

“Yes,” he informs her a little more manic than he would like. “It’s giving me far too much time to think.”

Yuzuri hum, flatly. “I can see how that might be dangerous to your health.”

“It’s not funny,” he snips, head snapping over his shoulder. “I’ve had an erection for two whole hours. That’s-- that’s at least a whole hour longer than I’ve ever done before.”

The pen scratches across the page, but he could swear he hears a muttered, hour fifty-five.

He frowns. “What was that?”

Yuzuri doesn’t bother looking up. “What was what?”

“You said something.”

“No.” Her mouth forms the word carefully as she crosses her ankles, legs drawn tight together from knee to thigh. “I didn’t.”

His mouth purses, annoyed. “I don’t think you’re taking this very seriously.”

“I’m handling it with the seriousness it deserves,” she informs him primly, her tone implying another half to the sentence, which is none.

“I’ll have you know it hurts.” At least it does now, now that he’s said it. Stings, quite honestly, like skin pinched in a hinge, too full for too long.

For the first time since this whole debacle started, a real thrill of fear rushes through him. The whole situation is ridiculous and mortifying and carries the vague threat of ending his career if someone with more pearls to clutch than Yuzuri found out he was sporting an erection in an educational institution, but it hasn’t seemed dangerous. But now he nudges his cock, just the barest bit, and tears spring to his eyes. Something might actually be medically wrong. This could have lasting implications.

“Oh, honestly.” Yuzuri squiggles in her seat, thighs rubbing together in a way that brings new meaning to the words painfully hard. “Can’t you just jack yourself off?”

Suzu, age twenty-five, of sound body and mind, nearly has a cardiac event.

“What?” He stares at her hard enough to pop a vessel-- which he doesn’t, but it’s a close thing, considering. “Right here?”

“N-no, Suzu!” A blush blooms over the rosy rounds of her cheeks. “I’m not just telling you t-to whip it out in front of me!”

He nearly asks why not-- it’s not like it will be the first penis she’s seen outside of a clinical setting-- but his teeth snap shut around the impulse. That’s one of those things that could be career limiting, if one considered the bedroom a place of employment. Which he didn’t; it was his sanctum sanctorum, the place in which he rested his head at night, but--

Well, if he had a reason to be employed in there, he might. He’d at least like to be conducting interviews, instead of, ah, self-review.

“I meant that you could, I don’t know, go around the corner.” She waves her hand vaguely towards the back of the stockroom. “Use a shelf for cover or, um, something.”

“There’s a closet,” he says, because elaborate self-sabotage could be listed on his curriculum vitae under professional skills. “We use it for storing light sensitive materials.”

Against all reason, she actually lifts a finger to her chin and ponders the suggestion. “You’re able to do it in the dark?”

He could find his cock blind, deaf, mute, and one-handed, but that strikes him as a relatively unimpressive feat, considering how it’s attached to him.

“Yeah,” he says instead, “if you, ah, don’t mind.”

There is a distinct, heavy hesitation before she replies, “Well, it’s not like you’ll be in the same room.”

“No,” he agrees, technically.

“I think--” she worries at the edge of a page, thoughtful-- “that as long as we’re, ah, recording our findings, then it’s fine to be...scientifically rigorous.”

He swallows, hard. It makes a noticeable thunk.

“Right,” he says, weakly, rising to his feet. “Scientifically...rigorous.”

2:15    Method 2: Subject attempts manual stimulation

“What?” Suzu squawks, peeping out of the closet. “You can’t write that!”

Yuzuri flattens the journal against her chest-- that’s not helping what going on down in his whole...Pavilion Street reconstruction down south. “Why not?”

“People are going to read that!” He makes a terrible, uncoordinated swipe for it. She easily sidesteps him, giving him a withering glare. There was a reason Kirito always asks Obi to be on his team for the little snow battles him and his rascally friends enacted on the quad and not Suzu.

“That’s the point,” Yuzuri deadpans, “it’s being documented for posterity, like all you scholars love.”

“Right, yes, I get that.” He shuffles, cock bobbling painfully in his pants. Really, something has to be done about this. “But Shidan will read it.”

Her mouth pulls thin; or at least it would, if her lips weren’t full and quantifiably kissable no matter their configuration. “Shidan is a person, yeah.”

“Which means I’ll have to talk about it.” He licks his lips, nervous, and Yuzuri watches him with ever-increasing incredulity. “In, you know, a meeting.”

She stares for a long moment, then opens the journal with a sigh.

2:15    Method 2: Subject attempts manual stimulation to self-administer proposed course of treatment

“That’s better.”

Yuzuri glares up at him. “Just get in the closet already.”

2:19

This should be easy. After all, Suzu always joked-- with Obi, alone, door locked after surreptitiously checking the halls to make sure no one was lingering too close to hear through the solid oak-- that if they’d handed out doctorates for masturbation, he’d have three. He is, in as much as one could be at a private practice with no grading rubric, a professional.

But as soon as he unbuttons the fall of his trousers, letting his cock sit heavy in his hands, he’s just...lost.

It should be a relief. When he’s left to his own devices, there’s no bigger rush than making it to his room before midnight, work finished-- or at least, avoided-- and stripping down to nothing. Just him, his bed, and a bottle of vanilla-scented oil, with the whole night before them.

But now he stands here in the dark, cramped closet, the scent of herbs so heavy he can feel it pressing against his skin, and even with his aching cock, he just can’t quite, well--

Get it up. No, wait, it’s definitely up, but--

But there’s nothing sensual about this. No romance. No chemistry. Like the dates Yuzuri always complains about-- no dinner first.

“How’s it going?” The wood muffles Yuzuri’s voice, but he can hear each word as crisp as an accusation. “Getting close?”

Suzu’s tongue falls in an exasperated cluck, swiveling his neck toward the door. “Just how long do you think this takes?”

“In my vast experience,” she drawls, her tone vibrating at the frequency glass shatters, “you should already be done.”

He’s tempted to balk, maybe even disparage her previous paramours, but, well-- if she was here, her soft, slender hands wrapped around his cock, whispering encouragement into his ear, Suzu doubts he’d fare much better. His cock gives a good twitch of agreement, and promptly continues to get absolutely nowhere.

“Well,” he manages, mouth utterly dry-- another factor making this whole venture both uncomfortable and unlikely-- “I can’t do it when you’re right out there, listening.”

Even through the door her sigh is heavy, frustrated. “I’m taking notes!”

“I don’t see why,” he snaps, giving his shaft a vengeful stroke. It, like all the others, feels good while also being irrevocably, disappointingly wrong. “It’s not like you’ll be describing this in Methods.”

“Because if I take notes, this is experimentation,” she explains haltingly, “and if I don’t, then...”

Then he’s just a young man fruitlessly jerking off in a closet while she listens, no matter the details. She could sit back at the table, of course, folding those shapely legs beneath her, biting her lip with a longing glance over her shoulder but--

But it wouldn’t change anything. He’s still in a closet, hand around his cock, hoping for some relief, and she’s enabling him. The science is the only thing between her and a scandal.

“It’s just...” His palm squeezes the base of his shaft, a spark of arousal zipping up his spine. “It’s like trying to pee when there’s someone in the next stall.”

There’s a long moment of silence, enough that he wonders if she’s wandered away after all, ready to wash her hands of the whole thing. It’s his problem, after all, not hers, and she--

“Suzu.” Her voice is low, the kind of deep-throated whisper that sends static swirling over his skin. “Are you a shy pisser?”

His cheeks sting, heat prickling like a rash. Unfair-- by any natural law, or at least the ones in his repertoire-- he shouldn’t have the blood to spare for a blush, let alone one that fully threatens to expand its horizons in either northern or southerly direction. Any moment now he’ll start to get dizzy, maybe even pass out in this tiny bolthole of a closet, and Yuzuri will have to drag him out with his pants around the ankles before she goes and writes something like, subject’s delicate constitution precludes finishing trial, and--

“NO ONE LIKES PEEING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE.” His breath huffs out of him in ragged pants, and for once it has nothing to do with the state of his erection. Well, tangentially it does, but-- “honestly, Yuzuri.”

“Strange stance to take when you can pee on any tree you want,” she mutters, just audible through the oak. “Now are you going to finish this up or what?”

Suzu looks down at his cock-- still painfully hard, ridiculous jutting out from the ruin of his trousers-- and glares.

“Why are you even still here,” he grumbles, shoving it back behind his fall, buttons fumbling out of the grip of his trembling fingers. “Nothing about this is arousing.”

2:20

“I just don’t see what the big deal is,” Yuzuri says, incredulous, for what had to be the twelfth time since he’s stumbled out of the closet, desperately aroused and with no relief in sight. The repetition has not made the observation any less embarrassing. “You must do it all the time.”

Suzu hunches over his knees, willing himself to disappear. Like everything he wants, invisibility remains frustratingly elusive. “I’m not talking to you about-- about--”

“Jerking off?” Her brows make a rousing bid for her hairline. “It’s a little late for that, don’t you think?”

He shrivels sullenly. “It’s not fair.”

Yuzuri sighs, but she tips her head to look at him, hair falling like a solid sheet of gold over her shoulder, neck curved in an elegant line, ready for a mouth to--

Ugh. Suzu buries his face between his knees. His suffering is unending.

“How is this unfair?” She asks, annoyance adding spikes to every oblivious word that falls from her lips. “Just because your genitalia is external and obvious?”

It should be impossible to be so angry and so aroused at the same time, not without blissfully passing out to avoid both states, but here he is, still conscious. Still conscious, and the tatters of his brain-to-mouth filter frittered away by the ache in his crotch.

“It’s not fair,” he seethes raggedly, “because nothing is happening to you!”

The silence his shout leaves behind is deafening. What was he thinking? He never raises his voice, not like this, and especially not at Yuzuri. Yuzuri who could be doing anything else instead of sitting here, nursing him through the worst night of his life.

“What?”

He can barely bring himself to look up, to look at the confusion furrowing her perfect alabaster brow.

“I know it’s not your fault, but--” he should really stop himself, but an object in motion stays in motion, and there’s no friction he can provide that can stop the truth from barrelling out of his mouth-- “here I am, experiencing death by erection, and you--” he waves his hand vaguely in her direction-- “are immune or something.”

“Immune?” The word hisses between her teeth, sharp as a page’s edge. “Suzu, I’m dying. I-- I can barely sit upright, but someone has to write this down.”

Suzu stares. Properly this time, gaze fixed to her face, and-- she’s flushed, pink blooming around the gathering at her collar, and twinging up her neck, flooding her cheeks. “W-what?”

“What do you mean ‘what?’“ she snaps. “It’s not like I’ve been hiding it! Just because I don’t have external genitalia doesn’t mean I’m not--”

She throws up her hands, the noise she makes halfway between a grunt and a scream,all frustration. Her one arm drops, wiping at her forehead--

Her forehead, which is coated in sweat. Wiped by her hands, which are trembling. Right above her eyes too, too dark even for the dimness of the room. And her thighs, they rub together, pressed tight at their apex--

His mouth dries. Her chemise is wet, right where it settles over her crotch. The scent in the room now is not just herbs and alcohol, but something earthy and tantalizing, something he’d like to taste on his tongue.

“Yuzuri,” he says slowly, heart pounding in his ears. “Are you...horny?”

She turns to him with those too dark eyes, breath huffing out her small nose.

“You,” she sighs, trembling fingers pressing to her temples, “are an utter moron.”

[pencilofawesomeness]

A Small Analysis of Merlin: Post 337

//Note: all “-” are direct quotes, albeit from the translation I’m pulling from. I use my textual evidence, but I’m also lazy in pulling the entire panel.

I was disappointed when the issue first hit that ‘she loved him’ and her angsting over him “never developing romantic feelings over her.” It felt cheap and overused, especially with the Diane-crush we had in the beginning of the series. It reminded me of the usual harem-thing shonen protags seem to gather, like Kirito from SAO (i.e. every female has a crush on him, even though he is only actually with Asuna). Ergo, disappointment.

However. There are more factors at play here. One: the narration starts with Merlin being described as “nothing more than a child hungering for the love of a parent.” She’s love-starved. Being that Merlin had approximately zero sources of love and affection, it makes sense that the little girl would misinterpret the care that Meliodas gave her as some sort of ‘romance’ because she has no base for comparison. Besides, it appears that Meliodas is certainly way older than her at the time—parent-age*, even, to a little human girl. Even though the Lady of the Lake refers to him as a “boy,” he appears wearing the same garb we see him in when he is the leader of the Ten Commandments; it also appears his eyes are still black here (even though it’s hard to tell with the inking style) so he very well could be still the Love Commandment here in this frame.

Secondly—and this is a big flag for me—the story is being told by the Lady of the Lake. Not Merlin. These are not Merlin’s words, and even though she doesn’t deny anything, the only thing she talks about is reviving Chaos. The Lady of the Lake is the one defining Merlin’s feelings and thoughts here, while she sits there and stares blankly into the distance. We have to take this with a grain of salt here, because it’s not coming from Merlin. 

If we are to believe everything in this issue at face-value, Merlin would seem more shallow and manipulative than we all initially thought, and frankly, less interesting of a character. However, we have these panels from 333. 

Now, I’ve seen people use this to say ‘Escanor knew that Merlin loved Meliodas!’ which is viable, but doesn’t completely sit well with me. Escanor clearly refers to actions here, not feelings: what she decides “to do” and “what kind of crimes [she] commit[s].” He knew she was plotting something—doing something—and that doesn’t equate to feelings, necessarily. And here, we have this exposition that Merlin has been manipulating the events to bring about the rise of Chaos. However, she started this conversation with “I wish you’d found me sooner. 3000 years sooner, even.” Merlin has regret. If she seems to regret her actions, to the point that she wished that she met Escanor sooner, than what is stopping her from dropping this? 

I would say that she can’t. Merlin has developed as a character, along with the Seven Deadly Sins, throughout the series, but she can’t go back on reviving Chaos because she made a deal with someone (I’m guessing the Lady of the Lake, based on context and font) back when she was a love-starved hurting little girl. Hence, this panel at the beginning of 335:

This isn’t much to go off on, but we know Merlin has a history of making deals. Also (and I can’t find the exact issue or source right now) but we have Merlin making mention of her ‘great sin’ that she committed. At first, I thought it was the deal with the Demon King and Supreme Deity, with the subsequent fall of Belialun. However, it could also be this, which could give credit to the lack of closure to Merlin’s arc. Everyone else’s sins have been addressed directly except for Merlin’s. 

The nature of a deal make between little-Merlin and some agent of Chaos, along with the implications of being held to this deal, make this panel from way back in 220.

Merlin referred to—and kept referring to—Arthur as her “hope.” Hope of what? I’m guessing fulfilling whatever deal she made long ago. If it was merely as a ‘hope of the future’ thing, she wouldn’t be as personal, using “my” instead of ‘a’ or ‘our.’ 

Point is, I think there is still something to this, something that Merlin doesn’t want to say (or can’t say) and she’s drowning in this. Every member of the Seven Deadly Sins had to be helped by one another at some point, and now, it’s Merlin’s turn.

I am curious to see how this ends up, and where her arc goes.

* If I had to guess, Meliodas is probably 350-380 years old, given that at the time of the seal, Zeldris is 252 years and Mael is 380, and both were counted as younger than Meliodas, and I imagine that this scene happened a good bit before that so... The theories I have regarding Mel’s age deserves it’s own post, tbh.

[secret-engima]

Am I really Me verse HC Drabble: Guild Mark

-Asuna figures out Kirito’s name by a mix of happenstance, luck, and investigation. It’s about ... mid-way through their friendship I think, when she’s no longer afraid of him but not yet in love with him. Some random Thing happens that ruins poor Kirito’s shirt and he shrugs it off without thinking. Asuna starts to look away out of respect for his privacy but then ... she spots the tattoo. It’s faded and old, though she can’t say how old because it is clearly a magical tattoo and those always age strangely. After a moment of staring while Black (her nickname for Kirito since he can’t exactly tell her his real name) is oblivious to it and she realizes that it’s more than a magic tattoo, she’s pretty sure that’s a GUILD MARK.

-She finds an excuse to go to the Town of Beginnings, where all guilds have to be registered, and starts looking. She starts in the Adventurer guilds because no matter how mild mannered Black acts, she can’t picture him being part of something as boring as a trade or merchant guild. The files are organized, but not in a way that helps Asuna and she is stuck wading through pages upon pages of a massive tome, trying to find a match for the guild mark.

-It isn’t until she has spent a week of her life going back and forth from the Town of Beginnings to her normal life and back and gone back through three HUNDRED years worth of records that she finally finds the mark.

-After taking a moment to sit and process the fact that the guild hasn’t been active for three hundred years or else it would have been in one of the updated tomes, which means Black is AT LEAST three hundred years old (not that old for a demon but still), she looks up their shelf number and tracks down the member list.

-Dead. All of them are listed as dead. The guild is old enough that the records are spotty from that time, so she can’t tell what race the various members were, but all of them are firmly listed as dead. Killed in action.

-Except for one.

-“Kirito.”

-Black, who had been in the middle of practicing a sword kata in his back yard, freezes and looks up sharply, shock in every line of his body, ears pricked forward, disbelief on his face. Like he can’t believe he just heard that word. Asuna crosses her arms to keep from fidgeting, hyper aware that she ran straight here after finding the name and so is still dusty-looking, “Is that your name? Kirito? Am I pronouncing that right?”

-She watches as his face lights up like the sun, a giddy, exultant sort of disbelief taking over the shock as he drops his sword and runs over to her, carefully grabbing her hands in his as he nods excitedly. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen anyone so happy at hearing their own name.

-Then again, if her suspicions are right, he hasn’t heard anyone say his name in a long, long time. Asuna smiles back a little giddy just from proximity to the joy vibrating off of her demon friend, “Well, that’s a much better name than ‘Black’ to be certain.”

-Kirito nods enthusiastically, then lets go of her hands to gesture something, ears wiggling as he tries to convey a question. Asuna takes a wild guess, “You want to know how I learned your name?”

-He nods and Asuna is too triumphant to stop and think about what she’s about to say, what it will mean, “A week or so ago, when your shirt got ruined, I saw the guild mark on your chest. So I went down to the Town of Beginnings and looked it up, it took me a while to find it, considering the guild is so old, but I finally found it and Kirito was the only member not listed as ...” her brain catches up with her words and her mouth clicks shut.

-In front of her, Kirito has gone very still. He’s staring at her with wide eyes, but now there is not joy. There is something terrible and broken, like some kind of dawning realization.

-One of his hands slowly reaches up to touch the spot where the guild mark lies and a moment later Asuna gasps as he grips so hard blood dribbles up around his claws. He’s shaking, he’s shaking and a moment later he’s gone, disappearing into the forest around his cabin with demonic speed that Asuna cannot hope to keep up with even as she desperately calls his name to the shadow he leaves in his wake.

-(Somewhere deep in the forest, Kirito comes to a stop, shaking and sobbing and screaming without sound, cradling the guild mark he had almost forgotten was still on his skin before suddenly rounding on the nearest hapless tree and felling it with a furious strike of magic-tipped claws.

-Three hundred years. He hadn’t known-. He had known it had been a long time, so very long but he hadn’t thought- he hadn’t REALIZED-.

-Three hundred years and it still hurt as badly as the day Keita jumped off the edge of Aincrad rather than live with the fact that all but one of his guild had died.

-Three hundred years since Kirito had been abandoned and left alone by the last of the people he had dared think of as family (since he’d failed them, gotten them killed, hurt them, his-fault-his-fault-). Three hundred years since he’d sworn to get revenge on the Demon King for the traps set by his lieutenants in the dungeons for sport that had gotten them killed.

-Three hundred years ... since...

-“Welcome to the Moonlit Black Cats, Kirito!”

-“Thank you. Goodbye.”

-Kirito crumbles to the forest floor, hands knotted in his hair as he screams silently at his knees. Three hundred years and he hasn’t avenged them.

-Three hundred years since he’s last heard his own name.

-No wonder it had taken him over a minute to recognize the word coming from Asuna’s mouth. No wonder he had almost forgotten what his name even was.

-But he hadn’t forgotten them. He’d just buried them. Buried the memories of them deep down where he wouldn't have to touch them, wouldn’t have to look into the mirror and see a demon, a failure looking back rather than a young swordsman who had escaped the Demon King’s lands and dared think he could join a guild of normal people, good people, without telling them where he’d come from, and not pay for it somehow. Three hundred years and he was no closer to keeping his promise of killing the Demon King and laying his guild to rest.

-He startles when he feels gentle hands on his back and for a moment, impossibly, he expects to turn around and see Sachi there, smiling that wobbly little smile she got the she was just as scared of something as Kirito but trying to be comforting.

-Instead it’s Asuna, and he can see she’s been crying. “I’m so, so sorry,” she says and Kirito ... can’t find it in himself to be angry at her. She was only trying to help. She was only trying to give him back his name. She tentatively pulls him into a hug and he lets her, rests his forehead in the crook of her neck.

-Kirito feels selfish, for the relief in his bones that he is no longer alone and nameless after so long.)

[darkedgey]

Won't Hurt Forever [Yujikiri oneshot]

A small Yujikiri oneshot I wrote a little while ago. Got some of that Kirisuna angst.

------------------

Relationships. Definitely not the easiest things in the world. It's strange, even when you think something is at one point so perfect, so seemingly flawless, like it could just last forever... For some reason, there is always the chance in the future that that won't actually at all remain the case. That relationships you have with people that are so important, will just crumble away like dust in the wind. And divorce seemed like a pretty frequent thing these days. It's just... The raven haired male never imagined he would fit into the category of saying: he had experienced the stress of what it was like to get a divorce. Even if it had been a couple of months, it still felt like the worst time of his life, and he'd do anything to fix what went wrong, but... It was too late now. He was kicked out the house, and well... Now he was having to rely on a friend just to keep a roof over his head.

"Here... Some hot chocolate. Might help you sleep." The blonde one hummed, as he was joining him on the living room couch, holding a hot mug out to him of the apparent sleep inducing beverage. "Careful--it's hot." Eugeo said, earning a tiny, weak, thankful smile from the other.

"Thanks. I appreciate it, Eugeo." Kirito sighed, as he had his knees brought up close to his chest, with his feet pressed up on the cushions of the couch. Eugeo was sitting next to him, his hands upon his own thighs as he was giving him a sympathetic smile. He had been there for him a lot when he heard about this rough situation his friend was in. In fact, a lot of Kirito's friends and especially his sister had been offering support to him and Asuna during such a hard time. It just sucked that Kirito and Asuna were friends with all of the same people, because it made spending time together a lot more difficult. It's not like the divorced couple could so easily be in the same room together anymore. It was too uncomfortable. Especially with the way their last ever argument went. Two words. Not. Well.

"Of course. I can't forget about all the millions of times you've helped me, so..." Eugeo weakly chuckled. "Not to mention, I got to keep you out of trouble." He added with a small, shy smile, causing the raven haired man to lightly and tiredly laugh in return. "So, enjoy that hot chocolate... I need to go to bed soon though... I got to be up early tomorrow." Eugeo sadly sighed, which he hated, because he'd rather stay up and give his friend company. He really cared about him after all, and hated to see him so sad.

But he didn't exactly have a choice. Unless he wanted to be like a zombie tomorrow, he had to go to bed. "But feel free to wrap yourself in some blankets... Maybe even watch a couple of movies." He offered, as he stared towards Kirito, who actually didn't even seem like he was listening. Instead, he was staring into his hot chocolate, looking almost completely spaced out. Sadly smiling, the blonde haired man got up and was almost ready to leave. That was, until he was grabbed suddenly by the wrist, stopping him in his tracks altogether.

"Don't leave. Please don't go, Eugeo..." A small voice quietly pleaded to him, clearly belonging to the couch potato, who probably hadn't left the house much in the last few months. Not unless the blondie tried to force him through the front door and out into the sunlight. Kirito would squint through his fingers at the sun, like a vampire trying to protect themselves from the sun rays so they wouldn't melt into dust. "Stay with me..." Eugeo's emerald green eyes widened when he could have sworn it sounded like he was crying, and evidently enough when he turned around... He was... Oh Kirito... He sighed.

"I guess I can stay for a couple more minutes..." He murmured, going to sit back down. Kirito had already placed his hot chocolate aside and was all of a sudden tackling him into a hug. The blonde boy let out a surprised squeak as it caused the both of them to fall back onto the couch, and at this point Kirito was just burying his face into his chest, sobbing loudly as he clung to him tightly. The one below him was staring at him slightly surprised, but it didn't take long for that gaze to be filled with empathy as he sadly smiled. He gently wrapped his arms around him, and decided that maybe he'd just have to stay here for the night.

"It's going to be okay, Kirito..." Eugeo quietly hummed, softly running his hand over the back of the other boy's head, trying to soothe his heartbroken cries. "It won't hurt forever..."

[transboykirito]

Kirito,

You weren’t the first character I could relate to, but you were the first one I could truly see myself in. You were the first character who coped with things the exact same way I did - immersing myself in fictional worlds and pretending to be someone else. The only difference between the two of us was that the world you got lost in were virtual, and the world I got lost in was... yours, honestly.

It’s been around six years now since I first watched Sword Art Online and fell in love with you, your friends and your world. A lot’s changed since then, for the both of us, and it’s bittersweet to think that, in a weird way, it feels like we grew up together. It hurts to know that someday, probably in the next few years, your story’s coming to an end, and, since you’ve been the one I’ve turned to for so long now, it’s scary to think about my story still continuing even without you.

When I first met you, Kirito, I was twelve years old and to say that I was struggling would be putting it lightly. I, much like you, didn’t know how to fit in with my family - though, it was for different reasons - and I isolated myself from everyone. I spent so much time reading, playing video games and watching my newly-discovered animes just for a chance to escape from my world for a bit.

After I finished Fairy Tail, an anime that also changed my life with a world I also got lost in and characters I dreamed of running away to be with, my mother suggested I watch Sword Art Online. She only recommended it because I’d recently been diagnosed with autism, and she saw a lot of those traits in you. So, I watched it, if a little apprehensively.

It was love at first sight.

I watched the entire Aincrad arc in a day. Your world was so immensely fascinating to me and, as much as I hated to admit it, I related to you. You, the brooding loner who had more play time than friends and an attitude problem to protect yourself from getting hurt. I wanted to know how you survived, I wanted to follow you on all your other adventures.

And then our story ended - at least, for a while I thought it did. My mother, in an attempt to protect me, didn’t tell me about the Fairy Dance arc. Instead, she played season two and, obviously, I understood nothing. So... I stopped watching.

It was a year later that I decided to give Sword Art Online another chance. The Aincrad arc was just as promising as I remembered it being and I thought with a little bitterness that it was a shame the weird timeskip ruined things. So imagine my surprise when episode sixteen started. I appreciate what my mother did now because I know there’s no way I could’ve handled watching Fairy Dance back then - even now it’s still a struggle, it still hits too close to home.

I was officially medically diagnosed with PTSD when I was fifteen. I felt like absolutely nobody could ever understand how I felt or understand the sheer horror I experienced every single day... but you did. The number of times I’ve replayed your conversations with Sinon about trauma and closure is frankly alarming, I can quote them from memory now. You introduced me to the idea of deserving to live on in spite of your trauma, the idea that I would someday find peace even if I never really got the closure I wanted. Honestly, it was your words that I clung to in some of my worst PTSD attacks, the days when all I want is to change the past and the days when I convince myself all I’ll ever be is an open wound.

I like to think that you’d be proud of me and how far I’ve come since I first found you. I made friends, Kirito, just like you said I’d be able to. I started making a family of my own, surrounding myself with people who love me exactly as I am, people who - I think, I hope - would hold me even when I feel like my trauma is chained me to like a weight I’ll have to carry for the rest of my life. I found people who are so warm and accepting, people who show me it’s safe to let my walls down, people who’ve given me more compassion and patience than I feel I deserve.

It’s nice, because, just like you, I felt for so long that I didn’t belong with my “real” family, for a variety of reasons. That feeling only got worse when I realised I was trans, and that’s technically your fault. Considering how trans-coded you can be sometimes, I think it’s fitting you were part of the reason I even realised. You were the first guy I ever cosplayed, and it was so comforting because I didn’t feel like I looked too feminine for it or feel like I looked out of place.

I started to really accept my gender by writing fanfics about you being trans. Starting HRT, getting surgery, dealing with your period, coming out. Every time I struggled with my gender I took it out on you in my Google docs, sorry bud. I’m on testosterone now, I think you’d be happy about that. Sorry I made you have dysphoria-induced breakdowns, like, five different times.

But you’ve always been a character I saw too much of myself in for my own good, for my identity, my emo “phase” and my gaming habit, my trauma...

Last year I turned away from SAO. I lost someone I never thought I’d lose, entirely of my own fault, and I tied him so strongly to this series that I couldn’t handle interacting with it anymore. Earlier this year, just under a year later, I reached out to that person to apologise. I don’t know what I expected or even if I thought I’d achieve anything with it, but I wanted him to hear it. I didn’t want the last thing I said to him to be what I’d said that night. We’re talking again, I can call him my friend again - I hope - and, just like you have been for so many years now, there you were. Watching my first episode in nearly a year felt like you were waiting for me with open arms and I wish I could tell you I hadn’t cried.

Through everything that I’ve been through in the last five years, Sword Art Online has been the series I’ve turned to. Bad break up? There’s Leafa. Fight with my mother? Asuna’s probably felt the same. Lost a friend? Eugeo would understand. PTSD attack? Sinon and Kirito would know exactly what to say.

It’s 2022 now. SAO starts this year. I’ve been counting down to the launch day since I was thirteen. It’s funny because by now you’re basically all grown up. You’re practically engaged, you’ve got a job, you’re about to start university. You have a partner and a daughter who bring out the best in you and a family of friends who accept you wholeheartedly. But at this time in the series, you were a thirteen year old kid who was alone and afraid, using fictional worlds as your means of escape - just like I was when I found you.

On your birthday this year I’m getting a tattoo of your elucidator. I’m getting it on my arm and, at some point, it’s going to be joined by the lyrics “I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you.” I really have, Kirito. Growing up with you, turning to you when I needed someone, going on adventures with you and getting lost in your world alongside you really has been the time of my life. You’ve given me so much to be thankful for and I desperately wish you were real, even just for a few moments, so I could hug you and thank you for everything you’ve done for me.

So thank you, Kirito. Thank you for being a hero, not just for me but for so many people. Thank you for letting me into your world and your life. Thank you for being there for me when I felt like I had nobody else to turn to. Thank you for saving my life more times than you will ever realise.

Love from the real world,

Taylor

[cardinalcringe]

I had a thought about Sword Art Online recently that I have to get out of my head.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!

In the Ordinal Scale movie, a scientist named Tetsuhiro tries to create a digital version of his daughter, Yuna, who died in Aincrad during the first season of Sword Art Online. To this end he builds a new VR headset called the Augma, which is basically a cross between the old Nerv gear and Pokémon Go, laying a VR world on top of the real one so players can larp in a game called Ordinal Scale.

What the people don’t know is that Tetsuhiro is using the platform to steal memories from the survivors of Aincrad to complete his simulated daughter, who exists in Ordinal Scale as a celebrity idol. Somehow, whenever he does this, the players actually lose memories, and eventually Kirito has to get off his ass and save the day. Also there’s another player named Eiji attacking players, and he’s helping Tetsuhiro because, what, Yuna was his girlfriend or something?

I admit, I didn’t actually watch it. I only really watch SAO Abridged. But I did see Jeff Thul tear this movie a new one, and I started to think about how it could’ve been written better.

First, forget the whole idea that the machine needs to erase people’s memories in order to scan them, that’s nonsense. The pseudo science behind SAO tech shouldn’t have to involve erasing a person’s mind in order to read it, the writers are obviously just reaching for a way to create real world stakes in a movie about VR larping. There’s a better way to do that, but first things first. The Augma only needs to scan the player’s brain like an MRI. The key thing should be that the scan only works properly when the player is actively thinking of Yuna, which brings me to the most important change.

Get rid of Eiji and make Digital!Yuna the one who attacks people.

If SAO has any singular theme, it is, or should be, that the bonds people form through gaming are as important as any forged in real life, and the basic premise of Ordinal Scale should play into that, so picture this:

When Tetsuhiro first comes up with the idea of recreating his daughter, maybe he uses something more basic, like scanning her social media profiles and loading them onto a sophisticated AI program. The resulting NPC acts like Yuna, but it’s a shallow, meme-spewing imitation with no depth. Then Tetsuhiro has the idea of loading his own memories of Yuna into the copy via Nerv gear tech, and he sees an immediate improvement in Digital!Yuna’s behavior as she seems more real, lifelike. But again, she acts like an unrealistically perfect daughter, and he realizes that’s because his memories are too influenced by emotions and his personal perception of her.

They’re not enough, so he gets the idea that he needs to gather more memories, from everyone who interacted with the real Yuna in her final days in order to create a more complete profile for the copy, and since those final days were spent in SAO, he needs to scan the brains of SAO players. Hence, he develops the Augma, a new kind of VR system that not only makes him very rich, but also provides an excuse to gather the memories he needs. Since he must first invoke those memories to scan them, it makes sense to use Digital!Yuna as a tool to bring them out, so he gears her up for battle and sends her out into the world of Ordinal Scale as a random encounter. Tetsuhiro figures there’s no harm in adding one more boss to the recycled Aincrad lineup, and it’s not like anyone is getting hurt over this. He’s not a super villain, he’s just a guy who wants his daughter back.

So Digital!Yuna moves through the game, picking fights with players all over the place, openly displaying her identity in the hopes that someone will recognize her. In the beginning, Digital!Yuna only attacks random players. Her dad doesn’t actually know all of the people she interacted with in SAO, so she’s just fighting everyone until she runs into someone who knew her. Imagine the emotional toll of being forced to fight a friend you saw die, that would be a great scene. As Digital!Yuna beats her first friend, she scans their memory of the real Yuna, and it becomes part of her psyche profile. At first, it seems to work as Yuna’s personality becomes more rounded, she more layered and complex as a person. But over time a problem emerges. How do those different memories shape her development as an entity? We’re not talking about a simple matter of filling up a health bar, defining yourself by what other people think of you is a tricky idea. Maybe she can’t reconcile conflicting accounts about who she‘s supposed to be, and that soon makes her mentally unstable. But Digital!Yuna loves her father very much, and every time she beats an old friend in battle, he favors her a little more. Eventually she connects violence with love and then it’s only a short leap from fighting to murder.

Rather than threaten players with brain frying like Kayaba did, Digital!Yuna finds creative ways to defeat her opponents by hacking their Augma headsets and altering their perception, a la Mysterio. She could not only traumatize people with mind-bending imagery, but also kill them. If the headset takes over their POV, she can alter the environment any way she wants in order to trick them into jumping off buildings, into oncoming traffic, and so on. This way there would be actual stakes in the story without having to make up some stupid amnesia subplot. It would also be a welcome break from the conspiracy-laden big bads of previous seasons, if at the end Tetsuhiro is forced to look back at what he’s done and reflect on the consequences. Also, it would return SAO to the horror themes that defined the first season.

Another thing to do would be to play up the familial bond between Kirito, Asuna, and Yui. Once the truth about what Digital!Yuna is doing gets out, people would simply stop playing, so Kirito and Asuna would need a compelling reason to strap in for a rematch. Through the Augma, Yui has found a way to exist and interact with her adopted parents in the real world, and she takes advantage of it. What would Digital!Yuna make of that? Yui would be a problem for Yuna, because as the only other sentient AI in the Augma network, she represents a unique threat. Look how easily she killed that cross eyed reaper in SAO. She also presents a contrast to Yuna’s disturbing situation. Yuna: “I’m out here fighting for my father’s love, while this runt is receiving it unearned. How dare she?!” If Yuna took Yui, our heroes would have no choice but to keep playing her game.

When you think about it, Yuna is a perfect foil for Yui, each one is an AI created to help someone that develops a soul along the way, but the way they interact with the world and the people in it would naturally set them against each other. They could be used to play off one another rather than just be an excuse to give Kirito a fight to win. Squaring off against Yuna would challenge Yui as a character and allow her an opportunity to grow.

What do we think?

[zoetjessweets]

Oh flashback to that moment when they were hiding from Eugeo. Such a tender moment after crying so much.

They’re really saying goodbye..

These tears won’t stop falling on their own. This season finale has my crying my eyes out.

Literally crying.

What the hell is happening? Why is there gunfire? Who is trying to breach. My first initial though was : is Asuna safe. Cause kirito is going to lose it when he finds out at

She’s there

She got hurt because of Kikuoka’s incompetence

WHAT IS ASUNA DOING THERE? Is it a dream, is she there to save him. Is he imagining it.

Why does the season have to end there.

Why do we have to wait another few months.

How have you all, who’ve finished this season waaaay before me, not lost your minds yet?

Guess it’s time to wait now.

[alexthegamingboy]

Toonami Weekly Recap 02/01/2020

Sword Art Online: Alicization: War of Underworld EP#27 (03) - The Final Load Test: With GlowGen Defense Systems now in control of the main control room, they find that the computer system is locked down tight and that forcing their way into the sub control room or the lightcube cluster is not a viable option. Commander Gabriel Miller flashes back to his login session in GGO where his team battled against Kirito. Gabriel logs out of his session to find himself back at his office at Glowgen Defense Systems, where he serves as CTO. He accepts an assignment from the US government to seize the STL and the lightcube cluster. Back in the present, Gabriel discovers the existence of the final load test getting ready to commence, which will eliminate the border between the Human and Dark territories to test the humans. In order to accomplish his mission of locating Alice, he decides to log in as the Dark Emperor Vecta, with his lieutenant, Vassago, logging in as a dark knight. Meanwhile, Asuna decides to log in to the Underworld in an attempt to save Kirito and escort Alice out of the Underworld. Back in Tokyo, Sinon wakes up from a dream of her experience in GGO 4. The competition was left down to two people, her and Subtilizer (Gabriel), where Subitilizer easily takes her out with his bare hands, leaving her with the message "Your soul will be so sweet" and choking her to death.

My Hero Academia Shie Hassaikai Arc Season 4 EP#74 (11) - Lemillion: While Toga and Twice were previously subjected to Shin Nemoto's Confession Quirk so the Shie Hassaikai can make sure Tomura will not betray them, the two backstab the yakuza on their own accord by first taunting Irinaka into exposing himself so the heroes can capture him. Meanwhile, Mirio manages to rescue Eri after fighting his way through Nemoto and his fellow Eight Expendable member Deidoro Sakaki. Overhaul then admits that Eri is not his daughter as he has Nemoto fire one of the completed Quirk-Destroying bullets at the girl to force Mirio to take the hit, losing his Quirk as consequence. But as Mirio refuses to back down, Izuku arrives.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind EP#12 - The Second Mission from the Boss: Giorno, Fugo, and Abbacchio arrive in Pompeii seeking the key. They come across a strange mirror and Fugo is suddenly dragged into a mirror world by Hitman Team member Illuso and his Stand, Man in the Mirror. Fugo summons his Stand, Purple Haze, but it appears in the real world with Giorno and Abbacchio instead of the mirror world where he is trapped. A flashback explains how Fugo's pent-up rage led to a violent incident that led him to be disowned by his family and for him to eventually join Bucciarati's group. As Purple Haze begins to emit a deadly virus from its fists, Fugo has it smash the mirror as a message for Giorno; Giorno remains determined to save Fugo, despite Abbacchio's command that they find the key and flee.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba EP#14 - The House with the Wisteria Family Crest: Tanjiro punches Inosuke so hard he cracks his ribs, sending him sprawling. He tells him Zenitsu won't fight because they're both Demon Corps members and they're not supposed to draw their swords on each other. Inosuke takes that to mean it's alright if they fight bare-handed and proceeds to charge Tanjiro, who promises that's not what he meant. The two fight and when Inosuke dosn't stop, Tanjiro head-butts him, which makes Inosuke's boar mask fall off, revealing a very human, though beautiful and girly face. Inosuke collapses from a concussion, though Tanjiro is fine. When Inosuke later wakes up he sees Tanjiro and the others burying the bodies of the humans who were killed. Inosuke doesn't see the point in it and challenges Tanjiro to a fight. Tanjiro thinks Inosuke won't help with the burial because his wounds hurt him too much, so Inosuke goes to bury corpses, stating he can do more than them. Soon all the bodies are buried. A Kasugai crow appears and tells the group to descend from the mountain and follow him, which they do. The crow spits up a charm to ward off demons for Kiyoshi so he won't be attacked again and the siblings part ways from the Demon Hunters. The three are led to a manor with a wisteria crest and the crow tells them they're to rest inside until their wounds are recovered. The house belonged to a family once rescued by demon hunters, so they tend to demon hunters for free. An old lady gives them food and a change of clothes. Inosuke keeps trying to rile Tanjiro to fight him but he's too relaxed to rise to the bait. A doctor tends their wounds (all three have broken ribs). After they settle for the night, Inosuke tells them he joined the Demon Corps after beating up a Demon Slayer who came to his mountain and hearing about demons and Final Selection, thinking it sounded interesting. Zenitsu then asks why Tanjiro is traveling with a demon. Nezuko scratches at the box, hearing they're talking about her, freaking out Zenitsu. She comes out and Zenitsu is smitten by her beauty. He then thinks Tanjiro was carrying her around because she was pretty, joining the Demon Slayers to have a cute demon girl. He chases Tanjiro around the room, declaring he must be purged. Inosuke states it's too much thinking and falls asleep.

Dr. Stone Communications Arc EP#21 - Spartan Crafts Club: Using the new waterwheel, Senku mechanizes the ironmaking process, freeing up the villagers to prepare for winter. Meanwhile, Senku, Chrome, and Kaseki begin developing light bulbs, allowing them to celebrate Christmas by decorating a tree. Chrome uses the new invention to explore deeper in caves, where he finds a host of new minerals. Senku and Kaseki attempt to create a vacuum tube, but they cannot find a filament that can withstand the heat. During a New Year's sunrise, Senku receives inspiration from Suika and realizes tungsten is the solution and employs himself, Chrome, and Magma on a spelunking expedition.

Fire Force Netherworld Arc EP#24 Finale - The Burning Past: Shinra duels with Commander Burns, who's explosive pyrokinetic ability initially overwhelms Shinra. However, Shinra eventually lands a blow on the commander's forearm, satisfying Burns that Shinra has sufficient resolve to hear the truth of his past. Burns reveals that the Evangelist was active 12 years earlier and knew that the Kusakabe brothers possessed Adolla Burst abilities. When the Evangelist sent Haumea to collect Sho, the child's power revealed itself which it started the fire. As the house went up in flames, Shinra's mother became the horned Infernal which Shinra always believed was the demon that started the fire. When Burns arrived at the scene, his team saved Shinra, but the boy's demonized mother took Sho and delivered him to the Evangelist. Burns realized the Adolla Link had been awakened, but kept the truth from young Shinra and told him his family was dead. Burns lost his right eye looking upon the Evangelist, but gained the use of the Adolla Link, and reveals that Shinra's demonized mother may still be alive within the Link. Later, Shinra arranges to meet Captain Soichiro Hague of Company 4, hoping that his connection to the Adolla Link could be used to turn Shinra's Infernalized mother back into a human. A few weeks later, Shinra is discharged from Company 6 and is welcomed home with a party organized by Company 8, including Hibana, Benimaru, Konro, and Karim.

Food Wars!: The Second Plate Totsuki Autumn Election Arc EP#27 - The Age of Kings: Despite a close battle, Kurokiba is declared the winner, though Megumi is still praised for her efforts. The next day, as Hayama and Hisako face off in a hamburger duel, Soma meets the eighth contestant, Subaru Mimasaka, who joins him, Megumi, and Takumi in watching the battle. Hisako presents her dish, a soft-shelled turtle burger, but is defeated by Hayama's kebab burger, which takes advantage of the burger's pickle aspect to enhance the flavor. Prior to the fourth match, Mimasaka provokes Takumi by insulting his brother, turning their match against each other into a Shokugeki.

Black Clover: Elf Tribe Reincarnation Arc EP#103 - Release from Misfortune: The new sword proves to be far more powerful than Asta's other swords as it removes the poison from everybody and Father Orsi recovers. Asta decides to use the sword to turn the possessed knights back to normal. The elf attacking the village, disgusted by all the humans, tries to unleash all his magic at once. Yuno senses the elf's soul is in great pain and Asta thinks the elf must be asking for help. To prevent the elf turning into something even more monstrous Asta strikes him in the chest. The new sword proves powerful enough to negate the entire reincarnation spell, returning him to a normal human. The Clover King, who has been asleep with his mistresses the entire time, is awoken and becomes terrified after learning the kingdom is under attack by its own magic knights and squad captains. Asta and Yuno tell Farther Orsi and the others everything they know about the elves while Digit, the no longer possessed knight, reveals the elf possessing him had no desire to fight. Asta decides they must save both their human friends and the elves and take Digit with them. The floating dungeon passes over Magna and Vanessa and the possessed Luck decides to attack a nearby village. Yuno senses this and they decide to split up to both follow the dungeon and stop Luck, though they argue about which of them should take Digit with them.

[sourcedartonline]

Can you give us your opinion on the anime adaptation of Alicization thus far?

A mixed bag. It started really strong but finished really weak.

I really enjoy the animation style, it’s kind of hard to go back to the earlier seasons without it being incredibly jarring. The animation itself however is all over the place. You can really tell when they decide to cut corners for cost saving.

I really wish several of the light novel plot lines actually made it into the anime. Such as Eugeo’s family, Eugeo’s natural talent, Eugeo’s feelings about Kirito being from another world, Eugeo’s guilt. Pretty much a lot of Eugeo centric things. The Zink fight not being in the anime ended up being pretty important. Pretty much everything that built him up to being Kirito’s equal or stronger.

Pretty much all of Volume 14 was just a plot point to plot point rush. Nothing got enough time to breathe to produce any real weight. The fight between Eugeo and Kirito didn’t feel like a destined fight that we didn’t want. We didn’t get to see Alice absolutely wreck Chudelkin’s shit before the fire Genie. We didn’t get the true feeling of despair most of the fight with Quinella was supposed to invoke. A conversation that she and Kirito even have that didn’t make it in. They didn’t bother make Alice appear damaged so there’s no real reason for her to pass out. Quinella has magic hair powers out of nowhere. Just so much wrong with the last 3-4 episodes.

Not ending with “whose voice was that I wonder?” should have gotten someone fired.

Things I did like:

No Fanservice. I figured if nothing else the change in directors would do this some real good. After the disaster that was the second season’s ass shots it’s nice to know plot was never sacrificed for titillation.

The goblin fight and the Fanatio fight. Aside from some shoddy animation in the later I really liked these fights in the anime. In fact most of the Integrity knight fights prior to volume 14 were executed really well. Eugeo’s Release Recollection was even handled better than I hoped.

The music is as always great. My personal favorite new theme is the Enhance Armament theme. Both OP and ED themes were really good.

Eugeo’s Synthesis and Death scenes were handled really well. Especially the latter. It didn’t save the last 3rd of the show or episode 24 for me, but it definitely hurt. Stay Cool.

The GGO scene. Good way to both add some filler of the whole gang before we went into the underworld and to introduce PoH and Gabriel a little earlier. Also anime only watchers can stop talking about how OP kirito’s lightsaber usage is now.

It was just good to have SAO back weekly. Can’t wait til October and hopefully a better paced second half.

[bubblesthemonsterartist]

56 obiyuki (or maybe obikikiyuki if you are feeling spicy)?

Prompts are currently closed while I catch up. I will announcewhen I am open! :)

56. Caught off-guard kiss

Follow up to this.

When the first gust of wind cut through him thatday so long ago, drifting in behind his Mistress and Little Ryuu like asnowbank, he thought, perhaps, that he made a mistake. That he should turn back. That the soft stirrings of hisheart, the whispers of- of things best left unnamed that inspired him to follow, to kneel, to ask “isit alright if I stay?” were nothing more than a passing bought of insanity.

Twoyears, he mulled, turning down one empty street and then the next, each filled with fresh snow that crunched beneath his boots. Each nerve-ridden second brought him closer todawn. To reunion. Two years of this?

He stayed, of course. The weight of Masterssword tethering him to the earth where he might fly, and in that moment ofweakness, a lonely light had shined through the dark. A tailor, prone to nightsas restless as Obi’s own, fussed about his shop. He hadn’t even been shocked tohear the rapping at the door, a lonely traveler unprepared for the cold neitherrare nor unanticipated.

“It must be a girl,” his gravely voice hadchortled, dusting the snow off Obi’s shoulders and taking stock of his dress.“Only a girl could inspire a man to be so stupid.”

Weathered hands peeled his clothes from him, threadbarecotton and muslin shed from him like some abused reptile’s skin. A quick exchangeof gold was enough to transform him from a slippery thing scrambling in the darkto something powerful, something proud that could stand in the sun as easily asthe shadows. That creature, that being born from the weight of his Masterspurse and the sure hands of a craftsman that knew his art, is what met hisMistress at dawn. That stood guard, knee deep in snow, on the highest walls onthe coldest nights. Because he could. Because he wanted to be the person hisMiss and his Little Ryuu knew he could be.

But these days there was no tailor that couldwrap the hurt; that could weave a cloth fine enough to keep out the chill. Thecold was no longer a shivering touch but a vice, bearing down on fractured bone andsneaking into the crevices. In the early morning hours, when the freezewas at its deepest, it crept into the spaces where he had not yet healed, freezing andpressing against its confines so that he woke in the pitch of night, burnersgone cold and a leg throbbing.

And yet-

And yet, still, it did not hurt as much as themoment he realized his arms were empty. The space between them as gaping as thehole in his heart.

Sleep would not come after that.

So when he wakes, still warm, at dawn, the lightcreeping in through the windows no one bothered to shutter the night before,he’s confused. Even more so at the slight weight at his side, a familiar heftthat numbs his left arm. Brain churning with a mighty groan, he flips throughthe catalogue of all that it might be. It’s too uneven to be one of theweighted blankets Suzu had drapped over him in those early days in a vain attempt to keep himabed, and Kirito was too tall, too broad, and too much at the cusp of manhood these days to suffer the indignity of letting others know he felt cold. But he also cannot see Shidan letting one of the strays of Lyrias intohis precious pharmacy - no matter how beseeching their eyes may be - to curl inclose with him during the night. 

Cracking one eye open, he has immediate regretswhen the first rays of sunlight creep over the sill to stab him in the eye. Grimacing, Obi scrubs his face with the arm not pinned down-

And blinks. Then blinks again.

A gnarled nest of red tucks itself up againsthis side. 

His first thought is how he’s never seen a dog with that color coatbefore. The second, is how odd it is that someone would bother to wrap it in awinter wear when its fur should be enough. It’s not until his eyes trace down to the booted feet dangling off theside of the bed that the pieces finally snaps into place, and-

He must- he has to be dreaming.

But she grunts, face screwing up in discontent beforeburrowing against his side to hide from the sun, and he knows he’s not.

Obi scrubs his face again, then again, catchinghis laughter, his joy against his hand. Relief, gratitude, and pure bemusedaffection swirl in a strong concoction in his chest but- but he thinks he likesit. Better than the tonics they had been plying him with since she departed, at least.

What is she even doing here? He thought she wasn’tdue to return for at least a week, and even then, surely she would be morecomfortable in her own bed-

Eyes snapping back to her booted feet, hecarefully, slowly, sits himself up and yegods, hopefully this hurt will be as ignorable as the others soon. It’s adelicate process between bracing his weight on one arm and one leg while keeping her cradled close his side so she doesn’t roll off the bed. Gradually,he manages to hoist her stockinged feet onto the mattress, earning him a grumpygrunt that softens his heart to the point of mush.But she stays firmly asleep. Hell, her breathing doesn’t even hitch, not evenwhen he plucks at the lacing of her boots.

Little flecks of dried mud cover his bedspreadas he pries the first boot free and my my won’t Suzu be pleased? Obi reachesfor the other, maybe leaning a little too hard on his injured leg, and hisses. It’s-a lot. When both of her smelly stockings are finally exposed, they dart beneath the blankets, hiding themselves beneath his shin. Laughing beneath his breath, Obi drops himself back to his pillow. And doesn’t evenget to lock eyes with the ceiling before her arm hooks around his chest,dragging her body flush to his side once again.

His heart lurches uncomfortably, alreadypounding so hard in his chest, but the particular feeling of it being stabbedthrough is… a welcome one.

“Miss,” he sighs, smoothing down her hair. “Whatam I going to do with you?”

A muffled voice replies, “Let me sleep a little longer, I hope.”

His eyes widen when he catches the first glimmerof green through the net of her hair, peering up at him from its hiding place against his chest. Breathless, he asks, “When did you get back?”

“Last night,” she says, her voice a dreamy sigh,and ah, just this. Just her voice. There’s no words for how he longed for it. “Ichecked in with Suzu who said you’d be here. I couldn’t believe it when youwere actually sleeping.”

He quirks his lip in an innocent grin. “Justfollowing orders.”

She snorts into his side and he gets to see themoment that the fog clears away and those too clear eyes focus on his. “If the stories I heard last night are even a little true-”

Huffing, he interrupts her. “If he would stopfussing-“

“Obi,” her voice loses some of its sleep ladensoftness, its sharpness bringing him to heel. “He said Hiro had to talk you offthe battlements.”

His cheeks absolutely, positively do not go warm. “Well if someone hadn’t insinuated in her lettersthat I would be getting soft being abed all day-”

It takes him a minute to realize she’s- she’sshaking. She’s laughing. “Well, youhaven’t gotten too soft,” she says,arm sneaking under the blanket to wrap around his middle. He flexes, proving that definition was definitely still present, when her chilly fingersgrab ahold of his side and squeezes. “But it’s nice where you are.”

“That’s just loose skin!” he protests.

“Mm,” she hums, smoothing her palm down hisstomach.

He jolts. Just a little. “How was your trip?”

It takes her a moment to reply, fingers lingering near his bellybutton. When her thumb smooths down the patch of hair that runs from it, and he takes a deep, steadying breath. 

“Good,” she says.

That was vague. “No evil lords to overthrow?” hedrawls, poking her cheek. “No great injustice to solve?”

Scrunching up her nose, she draws her hand backand buries her reddening cheeks in his blankets. “Not this time.”

Narrowing his eyes, Obi tries a new tact, pokingat her neck instead. He’s rewarded with a little muffled squeal. “And what aboutwhen you were on the road?”

One green eye peers up at him, narrow and jagged,like a piece of broken glass, and his stomach drops out. Ah, he foundsomething. Something that she hadn’t been willing to tell him in her letters.Something that his guilty mind can latch onto and chew like cud.

“Well,” she drawls, pushing herself up on herforearms. “There was one thing.”

He leans in, eager to hear. He’s had nothing buttime to think of possible dangers she could face; obstacles that she couldencounter, and now that she is safe and sound and in his arms he is… eager to pick apart the details anddetermine how he might have handled the task better. That he might havedispatched the bandits with more style than Shikito ever could or would have quelleda runaway horse before it even startled.

“One night,” she begins, leaning in close. “Iwoke up and I felt something tickling my face. At first I thought it wasYuzuri, but-”

Obi’s heart leaps into his throat. A spider. Itmust have been a spider with a venom that had her laid out in bed for days. Orworse, a scorpion. Maybe even- what were those demon bugs actually called? A centipede. “But?”

“It was a cockroach!” she cries, covering herface with her hands. “It was on my pillow and it’s little antennas weretickling my face!”

He stares.

“And then Yuzuri woke up and by then it had runonto her bedroll, so she was screaming, and-”

He can’t listen. Not for another second. Hishead hits his pillow as the laughter startles out of him so hard that it jars his leg.

“Obi!” Miss thwaps his chest with the back ofher hand, face burning so bright it may well be the same shade as her hair.“Obi, it’s not funny!”

Oh, but it is. “Sorry,” he gasps, clutching hisstomach. “Sorry, Miss- Please continue”

Her face is the most endearing little pout. “Itwas really big!” she says, gesturing with her two separated index fingers, andthere’s really… no way. He’s slept in some of the dirtiest slums in countless capitals and never saw anything approaching that size. “At least this much!And then it went down Yuzuri’s collar-”

Ever since he entered into his Masters service,he had sought to be good. Be better. Be the man that he wasn’t before. But noamount of Sir��s valor or Miss Kiki’s restraint or Master’s goodness can stopthe bark of laughter that punches out of him.

“Then!” Miss says, loud enough to be heard overthe racket of his own doing. “She shoots up, screeching, and starts tearing off herchemise and everyone in the other tents must have thought we were underattack-”

He might actually be crying now. He doesn’t know.He can’t feel his face.

“-And I’m trying to help her get it off, but thecord got snagged in her hair, and then Shikito and another soldier come intoour tent, swords drawn, Yuzuri had never been shy, but she goes redder than me. Even her thighs were blushing-”

“Stop!” Obi gasps, coughing, turning to hisside. “Stop, Miss, have mercy-”

“We never did find thecockroach,” she says, smile sly a bit later when he has caught at least half ofhis breath. “It must have crawled into the forest, but I don’t think Shikitobelieved either of us. He wouldn’t meet Yuzuri’s eyes for days-”

Giggling nonsensically, Obi turns into her,burying his face against her shoulder. When her arm wraps around him, sodelicately, as if his ribs were newly bruised, he asks, “And that’s the worstof it?”

“That’s the worst of it,” she laughs, nuzzling into his neck. Her body goes rigid suddenly, and she pulls back. “Well, that,” she says,lifting her hand to his cheek. The look on her face is solid befuddlement. “Andthe fact that your face wants to attack me now.”

It takes him a moment to catch her meaning. “Oh!” he grins, rubbinghis knuckles across his jawline. “What do you think?”

Head tilting, she says, “I didn’t think youcould grow a beard.”

“Well,” he says. “Obviously I can. But that’snot the point. Do you like it?”

Her nose wrinkles, lip drawing between her teethlike she’s not sure what to say. “It’s… different,” she says finally. “When didyou start growing it? A couple of days ago?”

Lips drawing thin, he says, “I haven’t shavedsince you left.”

“Not really?” Her lips tremble, eyes bright, and she touches the line ofhis jaw once again. “You should shave, I think.”

Frowning, he retorts, “Maybe I should grow itmore.”

“Don’t pout,” she teases.

“I’m not pouting, I’m just-” She bites her lips,but her dimples are showing, and it’s just- too much. She’s been gone for toolong and he’s missed her too much to not do something about it. Hand dartingout, he grabs her wrist and drags her to him, scratching his stubbleagainst the soft of her palm until she squeals.

“Obi!” she yelps, trying to tug her wrist fromhis grasp. He turns his face into her open hand, dragging his teeth against herwrist and her laughter turns high pitched and giddy.

“You’ve hurt its feelings, Miss,” he growls against her skin. “You only just met it and now you’re telling it to go.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! It can stay!” she gasps,and he lets her hand go with a grin. She draws the poor abused thing to her breast,cradling it with her other hand as her thumb soothes the burn. Her face isflushed with laughter, voice breathless when she adds, “It’s a very manlybeard.”

“Why, thank you,” he preens, flopping back onhis back. It’s a little too hot now, the light beating on them, but, ah- who’s he kidding? He flew a little too close to the sun, he thinks, with the way hisskin thrums, with the way the salt of her skin tastes in his mouth, but it’s- it’s worth it. “Quite dashing if I do say so myself.”

“Let me-“Miss begins, drawing him out, and he turns towards her, only too late realizingthat she is leaning in. The corner of their mouths meet before he can stop and he- he freezes. She does, too. It’s only a beat too long later that she pullsback, face burning, that she adds “-uhm, kiss it better. That what was I wastrying to-”

Oh. His beard. Yes. Of course.

He opens his mouth to laugh. Or smile. Or saysomething to dispel the awkwardness. But his mouth, it just gapes. Like hers does. But her eyes are riveted, focused on his lips. And it’s justbeen so long since they saw each other and it feels so… natural… to lean backin again, to watch her lashes fall to half-mast as she leans in, too.

But-

She jerks back a bit. Sohe does, too. A flush spreads across his cheeks, a pain lodging itself deep inhis heart, and it’s just enough hurt that he can find his voice again.

“Why, Miss,” he begins,averting his eyes. “I didn’t know you missed me so mu-“

“Obi.”

The touch of her hand on his cheek startles him,the brush of her thumb against his lower lip numbing his tongue. She searches his face, and whatever she must find in his eyes sharpens the uncertainty in hers to one of determination. Shifting herself, her other hand lands on his chest, fisting inthe fabric.

He likes to think that he learned how to fightthe day he learned how to walk. His life has been nothing but a battle, nothingbut broken skin and bones and binds. And yet when she shifts, crawling up his body, she has him immobilized morecompletely than any opponent has ever accomplished and he- he can’t move. He doesn’twant to move. So he just watches asshe leans forward again, this time for real. This time with purpose. Withouthis say-so, one of his hands spans the small of her back, the other cradling the nape of herneck and she closes the distance between them so easily.

And she’s- she’s always been here. She’s alwaysbeen at his side. Always filled the space between them as easily as he’s madeit. He always thought that if the world wasn’t filled with better men than hewas or he was somehow good enough for someone like her, that kissing her would be… powerful. World-changing. Something that would break him and make him anew.

But-

But she already did that. Years ago.

So it’s nice. And soft. Less a storm and morethe gentle sliding of pieces into place. Her lips press against his and hedraws in a breath so filled with her that it touches every bit of him. It warms himwhere he feels cold; soothes the parts of him that has only known hurt.

And it’s- it’s them. Just them. Every click of skin meeting and parting, every soft sound shemakes into his mouth is somehow like every day since she came into his life. Herkisses taste like her and theirlives and all that they’ve built together in this place.

It tastes like home.

When she pulls back, he tries to follow. It’s toolittle, too much, he doesn’t know. He just doesn’t want it to stop. But shestays him with her palms against his cheeks, her forehead resting to his, and heopens his eyes to find her smile, beautiful and radiant, waiting for him.

“Obi,” she whispers, brushing her nose against his.“I’m home.”

His chest expands. It contracts. It cracks and breaks along fault lines, letting loose binds that kept his words trapped in his throat for far too long. It stings, the pain, but in a good way. For never has his mouth moved more effortlessly. Never have words come with such ease as when he replies,

“Welcome home.”