#stop trying to do this by yourself. it was never about oh woe is me how dare you tell us what to do

[goldentigerfestival]

Using this as an audio reference for the posts I'm making, but to summarize:

Yuri starts out mad.

Yuri tries to calm himself down with a deep breath to ask for details instead of going through it angry.

Flynn doesn't say "like a good knight" in the sense of putting himself down. He simply says "as a knight" (the tl here doesn't use that, but with that included it's basically along the lines of "even though I had doubts, as a knight, I was determined to follow my orders").

Once Yuri has answers he calms down significantly.

Yuri uses " 'ttaku", which is a shortened down version of "mattaku" (Yuri often shortens words and speaks very casually), which in this particular situation basically would mean "geez", or "good grief". In this manner, it's expressive of exasperation/frustration/etc.

Yuri never mentions that "Flynn told him what to do" like the dub does (because in fact Flynn did not ever tell Yuri what to do. He only gave Sodia and his other knights orders. He expressed his own desire to take responsibility, but never told Yuri and his friends what to do).

At this point you can tell the anger has gone out of him and that he's calmed down, now that Flynn is approaching this with admission and responsibility.

Sodia is asking that Flynn returns as soon as possible (I believe this was a general translation error).

Flynn's thank you to Yuri is tonally much more heartfelt.

Yuri's response and gratefulness at Flynn coming back to himself is tonally much more heartfelt, relieved and sincere.

[tojirights]

Prompt “❛ i love that no one else has seen you like this, that no one else has felt you before, been inside you. they don't get to have you, but i do. ❜” with alastor :3

Likke reader has been with multiple people but alastor is the first person to make her cum 0.0

prompt: Hii I really like your work! Can you do face sitting with alastor like reader mentions that she wants to sit on alastor face to angel and alastor overhears or angels says outlook to husk while his wasted thank youu

a/n: combining these two prompts!! ^ thinking maybe alastor overhears you talking with angel about your woes and offers to uhhh assist 👀

"the guys down here suck, angel." you sigh, sitting next to angel in the hotel lounge. you crack open your beer and hand him one as well. "yer tellin' me, babe." he chuckles. "whats got ya worked up this tIme?" he hums, reaching an arm around your shoulders. "thats the thing! nothing!" you groan, leaning into his body. "you know how many times i've tried hooking up with someone just for them to bust in 30 seconds and rub my inner thigh?" angel almost chokes on his drink.

"they're the worst. no one down here has been able to make me cum but myself." you mutter, taking a sip of your drink. "who do you want, hm?" angel asks. "maybe i can hook ya up with someone good." he wiggles his eyebrows, earning a giggle from you. the alcohol is making you feel a little brave, so with a sigh, you let your words free. "y'know who i think about all the time?" angel's eyes widen with interest, anticipation building.

"alastor..." you admit for the first time out loud. angel does choke on his drink this time before he laughs. "bitch! the radio demon?!" he barely contains his cackle. "stop! i mean, have you seen him? god, angel. i'd get down on my knees and bark if he told me to. i wanna sit on his face, hold onto his antlers for support. ughh, he's so hot." you whine into angel's chest, embarrasmemt finally setting in. angel tries to contain himself, but you've never said something so out of pocket but also very relatable.

unbeknownst to you, alastor stands not far behind you, his ears twitching as he listens in. a part of him does feel a tinge of guilt for listening, but you'd be quieter if you didn't want anyone to hear you. "well now, isn't that interesting?" alastor's voice makes you jump, almost tossing your beer straight onto angel. "oh fuck..." angel all but pushes you over in an attempt to get away.

"oh my god. alastor i'm so sorry, i was just-" you scramble to defend yourself, but alastor puts his staff under your chin to raise your eyes to his. "what was that you said about wanting to... sit on my face? about these worthless little demons not knowing how to treat a woman?" the sultry tone in his voice has you clenching your thighs together, which you blame on the alcohol swirling in your gut. you laugh awkwardly, trying to brush this off as alastor teasing you but there's a look in his eyes that tells you he's dead serious. "it's nothing! just venting some frustrations, that's all."

your eyes are a dead giveaway, desire flooding them as you peer up at alastor. "why don't you accompany me to my room for the evening, darling? we wouldn't want these inexperienced fools to try and make a move now, would we?" he extends his hand, and you decide to throw caution to the wind. standing, you let him pull you close. "blow my mind, radio boy." you whisper, watching alastor's eyes darken and his smirk grow. alastor uses the shadows, leading you straight to his room in a mere moment.

your heart rate sky rockets, realization hitting your gut as you start to strip. "how long has it been?" he asks, picking you up with ease and carrying you to the bed. "w-what?" you hesistate, watching as alastor ushers you to climb on top of him. "since someone else made you cum?" you swallow, straddling his chest. "i don't even remember al..." alastor's hands come around to grip your ass and pull you forward. with a gasp, you brace yourself on the headboard and then the feeling of alastor's tongue immediately has your brain turning to mush.

it's dizzying, the slide of his tongue up and down your slit was already far better than anything you've experienced in such a long time. "o-oh fuck." your body shudders, barely being able to hold still. alastor's tongue dips passed your entrance, lapping up your juices like a man starving. you already feel that familiar coil in your stomach forming, threatening to snap all over alastor's face. "that's, oh god alastor, that's so good." you moan, gripping tighter on the headboard as your hips start to stutter on their own.

then, you feel alastor's hands on your ass start to push and pull you, forcing your cunt to slide over his tongue. "y-you, i'm gonna-" you can't even think straight, pleasure blinding you to anything else happening in the entire world. alastor hums against your clit, sucking the sensitive bud into his mouth and that's it, you're cumming hard enough that your vision goes dark and tears well in your eyes.

you're shaking, barely being able to breathe as alastor's tongue runs lazy circles over your still sensitive clit to ride out your orgasm. before you're fully recovered, alastor quickly flips you onto your back and his fingers find your puffy pussy. "you have no idea the honor it is to be the only one to see you like this, my dear. the only one to feel you-" he pauses, pushing two fingers inside your needy cunt so he can hear your sweet moans. "cum. and i will be the only one to continue feeling that. you will cum on my face, my fingers, my cock... anything you please."

the desire burning in your core strengthens once more. not even your own fingers have ever made you cum twice, but alastor is about to pull a second orgasm from you almost completely back to back. "make me cum again." you whine, hips arching further off the bed as his fingers pump in and out slowly. "on your cock, fuck, please fuck me alastor."

alastor chuckles, his free hand unbottoning the front of his pants just enough to free his cock. "how could i deny such a good girl? cum on my cock, my princess." in an instant, alastor's fingers are replaced by the thickness of his cock. the first thrust alone has you teetering on the edge, while his thumb rubs tight circles on your clit.

your pussy clenches around his girth, pulsing with every sweep of his finger. each thrust of his hips pushes you closer to the edge, his cock filling you like no one else could ever. "y-you, gonna cum again." you cry out, spasms wrecking your body as your second orgasm hits even more intense with the feeling of his thick cock stretching your pussy.

alastlor groans, pumping his cock deeper, deeper until he's cumming as well. "such a good girl." he grunts, pushing each thick rope of cum further inside. "you won't ever have to worry about not being taken care of, my dear." he assures, pulling out slowly even as your cunt tries to squeeze him in. "there's plenty more where that came from, rest your pretty little eyes." he coos, pulling a blanket on your tired body.

you just know this is going to be the best sleep pf your fucking life...

[neoplatinum]

cinnamoroll girl | kim 'winter' minjeong

summary: you meet a girl obsessed with cinnamoroll

pairing: minjeong x reader

themes: fluff, just two very cute girls, cinnamoroll, yizhou & aeri!, mention of jimin!

wc: 1.7k

"aeri, stop." you pull the covers back up your face. curling into yourself in bed. you already feel awful, so why is she bothering you right now?

"you are such a mood killer! she dumped you six months ago, get up!" aeri tugs the comforter so hard she falls on her butt. you laugh at her until you realize how cold you are without the blanket. so you rush forward to try to grasp it out of her hand.

"aeri! give it back!" you shout at her.

"no! please come outside with us. we're all so worried about you." aeri pulls the comforter harder, and you let go. aeri once again hits the ground again. you hear a loud thud and see her soothing her head.

"that's what you get." you stick your tongue out at aeri, to which she throws the comforter right back in your face. you get sent backwards, falling into bed.

"ning! i'm done with her, she's hopeless!" you hear aeri shrill. yizhou walks in, eyes wide at aeri on the floor. but she ignores the girl, walking towards the bed and trying to coax you out.

"sweetie, it's not healthy to stay in bed all day. come join us outside!" out of spite for aeri, you comply immediately. getting up with a playful smile as you watch aeri's shocked face. aeri walks out annoyed while you get ready for a night out.

"ning, i'm going to strangle that girl." you hear faintly in the hallways.

you join the two girls outside, eyes smiling at yizhou while aeri punches your shoulder.

"you are so annoying, why are you only nice to ningning?"

"because." and you leave it at that, walking out of the apartment.

--

"aeri, who's that?" you point at the girl with the short bob. her eyes are wide as she tries the claw game; it looks like she's trying to get a cinnamon roll plush.

"that is ning's friend, be nice. we invited her out too." aeri explains, but all you can see is the love of your life. hot hot biker jacket girl with a short bob and a handsome face. lips to die for and long, long, long legs. wow, she is exactly your type.

"ning! you didn't tell me you had such a hot friend." you don't take your eyes off the girl, just speaking loud enough for yizhou to hear.

"i did, i told you multiple times about minjeong. you have just been so 'woe is me' about your heartbreak that you never met her." yizhou continues, eyes rolling when she sees you eyeing minjeong like a puppy seeing their owner.

"god you are so gay, not even an hour ago, you were moping about jimin." aeri starts shaking a hand in front of you, and you finally snap out of your daze.

"shh, don't speak of her please." you shush aeri, and pull the two girl's arms. you need to meet minjeong quick. so you approach the girl at the claw machine.

"hi!" you enthusiastically say to the unsuspecting girl. the girl gives you a once over and a look. before pointing at your shoes.

"your shoelace is untied." she points out, and you look down. sure enough your right shoe is untied.

"oh, um. yeah sorry." you kneel down to tie your shoe, meanwhile aeri and yizhou are snickering at each other. you attempt another introduction.

"hi, you are minjeong?"she tilts her head, and you swoon, it's really like looking at a maltese.

"yes." she says and returns to her claw machine. both yizhou and aeri let out a boisterous laugh. leaving to go "get food", which really means they're going to watch you try to flirt with minjeong from afar.

"do you like cinnamoroll?" you watch as her eyes light up, suddenly she's stopped looking through her pockets for more coins.

"yes! he's my favorite sanrio character." she exclaims, taking out her phone to show you a photo of her cinnamoroll collection. they have nearly taken up the whole wall of her bedroom. it's adorable actually, how dedicated she is to this sanrio character because of how cute it is.

"that's so cute." you point out.

"yeah but i'm having trouble getting this cinnamoroll." minjeong points at her claw machine. "i've been here for ten minutes, but i've had no luck."

"maybe i could try?" you offer. digging through your jean pockets for coins. you start shoving coins into the machine. flexing your hands and stretching your neck. getting ready to get this cinnamoroll plush for this cute girl.

you go for the first try, lining it up in the front, and lining up the clawe by checking the side glass. tongue in between your teeth as you focus. dropping the claw...it grabs one and you can hear minjeong gasp. as it rises up, it releases the cinnamoroll. dropping it back onto the pile.

you aren't going to let that stop you from winning this plushie for minjeong though.

you get another try, aiming for a different cinnamoroll, same method. checking the front, and checking the side for position, dropping the claw and crossing your fingers, begging for the claw to give you the plush. and with bated breath it drops into the dispenser corner.

"yes!" you shout, high fiving minjeong who gives you tight hug after, leaving you breathless with a rapid heart beat. goodness, this girl's got you good.

aeri and yizhou return with hot dog and drinks in hand. watching minjeong get absorbed in the cinnamoroll doll that you just won for her. minjeong hands it back to you.

"it's for you." you say, and push the doll back into her hands. she smiles widely at that, tucking it into her bag and the other two girls give each other a knowing look. you four enjoy the rest of the arcade, all the while you're busying eyeing minjeong and you think she is just so darn cute.

--

"can i have minjeong's number?" you ask aeri. she's popping popcorn in her mouth as you both watch spiderverse.

"ask her yourself." aeri doesn't take her eyes off the movie.

"when would i be able to do that?" you ask.

"tomorrow, she's coming over." aeri continues digging through her bowl of popcorn.

"tomorrow? aeri our apartment looks like a mess right now!" you get up and start picking up all the random clothes and pieces of trash littered around the living room. you start running into your room like a sprinter. grabbing all the dirty clothes off your floor, and shoving them into a laundry basket. you run out and throw all the clothes into the washer, immediately pressing buttons to start the wash cycle.

then you're wiping down the kitchen counters, the dining table, the windows. you wipe down the coffee table and lift aeri's legs to wipe it completely.

"aeri move!" you shout at her. she rolls her eyes but lets you clean around the couch. then she's back to sitting down. you start cleaning the many dishes in the sink and placing them in dryer rack.

"maybe i should say minjeong is coming every week for you to do these chores." you roll your eyes but honestly yeah this is a great motivator. then you start cleaning the bathroom and washing the shower. (aeri is confused why you're washing the shower because minjeong is definitely not staying over)

you finally clean your bedsheets and comforter after your laundry load, excited to have minjeong over. then you start pestering aeri again.

"what does minjeong like to eat? snacks? drinks? favorite food?" you start, opening your notes app to diligently write down each answer. aeri shakes her head at you.

"and do your job for you? no way, ask her yourself. it's more genuine that way." she answers as she pauses the movie, getting up to watch you run around like a headless chicken.

"fine. be like that. just so you know, i ate your lunch last week." you stick your tongue out at her before hiding in your room.

"you come back out here!" aeri shouts. you tune her out, smelling yourself: yeah you need to shower. while aeri pounds at your door, you're busy gathering yourself for a long and definitely needed shower.

--

"hi minjeong!" you bump aeri out of the way, to greet minjeong first. the girl looks so adorable in a blue button up and light washed jean shorts.

you think she looks like how the first spring day feels. warm and inviting. she walks in with a small smile, a little timid visiting you and aeri.

"hello, thank you for winning that cinnamoroll plush for me." she says as she gifts you two some wine.

"oh no problem, anything for a pretty girl." you say to her. aeri's gagging just at the sound. then minjeong walks in with yizhou trailing behind her.

it's a full house, when you all sit at the dinner table, enjoying a delicious dinner filled with laughter and bad gossip about people. you get to really feel the energy of minjeong, a rather reserved girl to people she doesn't know well, but gets very comfortable around people she knows well.

yizhou is doubling over in laughter, and nearly spilling her wine all over the floor, while hitting aeri. minjeong just laughs and points at them two. you laugh at the sight of them three, it's like dumb, dumber, and dumbest.

aeri and yizhou are knocked out on the couch after laughing too much. you take the time to help clean up around the apartment, putting away leftovers. meanwhile minjeong offers to help wash dishes, not letting you say no.

so you and her are quietly cleaning the apartment while the two other girls take a much-needed rest after their drinking.

you walk behind the kitchen counter, and you start drying dishes that minjeong has washed.

"hey minjeong."

"yeah?"

"could i have your number?" you ask, very nervous and feeling the jitters in your body.

"yeah, only because you won me that plushie." she looks at you and smiles. you don't stop smiling the rest of the night, even if aeri kicks you when she wakes up.

--

a/n: my original minjeong work got deleted :((((, but it's okay i didn't love the plot for it. so here we are with this piece instead. stay safe and stay healthy everyone!

[pinkandpurple360]

Rewriting the “I like tormenting you” scene because…yeah 🦢 💔🦉

Stolas, long angsty song number: In his gilded…jail….

Stella: The fuck are you doing?

Stolas: Reflecting.

Stella: Well stop it. It’s annoying to hear you screeching your angsty woes at all hours of the night.

Stolas: Why are you still here? You leave with Via on the weekends but you still hang around my house. Why?

Stella, enraged: What, “hang around”? Do you think I just like tormenting you or something? I am your WIFE. You decide to go cheating and Im the one who’s out of a home because of it? How dare you. Your palace has been my home for nineteen years, MY jail. You own the fucking place but never show an ounce of gratitude. Always pouting, crying, whimpering, embarrassing yourself. You’re supposed to be a prince, a leader.

Stolas: Ive never wanted any of this, I have nothing of my own. I am cursed with-

Stella: Oh enough of the martyr act. Every time you get criticised it’s suddenly “woe is me” You men with your big titles, grand costumes, thinking you’re so deep, so full of pain. You know nothing of pain. I won’t be moved from dollhouse to dollhouse according to your flimsy whims—you utterly spineless man!

Stolas standing his ground: You watch your tone with me, Via isn’t here to see your hysterical outbursts and I’ve had enough of your screeching harpy nonsense—

Stella, holding her hand up and it shakes hovering in the air: MY harpy screeching?? My hysteria?? After what you did??

Stolas, holding his hands up in glee and laughing maliciously: Go on! Strike me! Let everyone see what a mad woman you truly are! I don’t regret anything I’ve done, I loved seeing that shock on your face, that your snivelling friends were were all present to witness my triumph—

Stella, incredulous: Triumph is it? You think I didn’t notice the guards dragging that imp away, and you, drunk. I was so willing to look the other way, then you had to make such a grand scene. And all of that “there wasn’t time for a motel” crap was another of your lies? You are fucking sickening. You don’t even know what’s truth anymore. The least you could have done was sleep with that imp outside of our fucking bed. Instead of forcing us all to endure the racket of that disgusting ‘passionate fornication’ you call it. And yes, I do mean, ALL of us in the palace.

Stolas, confused and cowering: I—I don’t understand. What are you getting at with “endure”?

Stella: The screeching, the moaning, the disgusting fucking snaps and slicing from the arsenal of weapons you used to fornicate for hours. Not even the loudest blast of her shitty plebeian music could have drowned out that racket!! Octavia heard everything! (She screams to herself and throws a vase, shattering it behind them) You fucking embarrassment of a father! (Her voice cracks, she tears up with mascara flowing mirroring his own expression) What have you done?! Look at you in that stupid costume. What was it all for??

Stolas, falling to his knees: No no…no no no…you’re just turning her against me. You’re lying!! You never gave a shit about me or our very much arranged marriage!! I…I got back at you. You never even tried to make it comfortable for us! It was all me! All for that girl!!

Stella: “That girl” has been nothing more than you trying to make yourself feel better about your own father. All you do is try to re-parent YOURSELF through her. Giving her what you wanted, not what SHE needs. To make you feel like you haven’t made a mistake.

Stolas: Shut up!!

Stella: That girl, has been living our lie, your lie, since her birth! And I can’t do it anymore!!

Stolas: Enough!!

Stella: Were it not for my fucking anatomy, I would have filed divorce seconds after her egg fell out of me!! But you just had to have your little fantasy, your happy family. You always resented me for not sharing your talent for acting and faking, well fuck that. I already pretended to want to be yours, and it was never enough. You hated me for not loving you, and now you do the same to me? I’m not an actress and I won’t live a lie. Have your divorce! And you will compensate me for the years I’ve lost to you!! If I have my way stolas, damn you, this palace will be mine. I’m not losing my home again.

Stolas, weeping: No no…I don’t want that…you can’t make me…I don’t want it!! I don’t want that!! You bitch…you never once cared about me…not once…

Stella, is silent for a prolonged moment, face unseeen, she turns and a broken smile is on her face, she speaks in short sentences: I di—No. Thats. That’s right. Fucking…pathetic man…you’ve finally met your match. And I know you’ll pay for it.

(She leaves, they are both deeply broken. Stella has a broken expression, she sees Via in the hallway and gasps, wipes her mascara trails away and puts on her ice queen persona): Via darling. Mummy and Daddy are just…playing a silly game. You know how we are. Don’t stay out in the cold. I’ll…run you a bath. (She reaches out to her)

Via, pain stricken after everything she’s heard, flinches away from her and runs off: I hate you…I hate both of you. Liars! Just two children! I always KNEW this day was coming!!

Stolas, crumpled on the floor, stares into the sky: …It was for love…it was all for love…he’s my…my soulmate…

[kkl1nch0r]

title: woes of an immortal (blade x gn!reader)

angst. this is angst guys. i was feeling emo. please don't come for my throat if your soul is shattered like mine was when I typed in the last words LOL!

-------

Since when did once an abomination seek and find its inner beauty?

Since when did a monster find their claws worthy and able to cradle the body of their dead love gently?

Since when did a beast, its fangs eternally stained with the slaughterous voices of its sin, bound and sliced cleanly from its vices, learn to find itself worthy of affection?

Blade was the first to be.

Once his weary eyes, deprived of desire, gazed into yours– the savage tamed by the saint– everything prior to his misery (as well the whole of his suffering) had been snuffed out. Much like the blowing out of a candle with its constant need to burn, all there was left was the stub of wax. Unhealed scars, bleeding wounds, a wailing soul.

I’ve changed, repeated the immortal abomination. I’ve changed.

You had held his cold cheek firmly and told him things you alone cannot remember– only a man who had lived so mundanely could recall the very words you had uttered.

But at the merciless hands of death, who can blame for one to forget? Even those who have lived with such purpose and ambition cannot remember every word they have spoken on their deathbed.

Your deathbed was his lap, your pillows were his trembling hands, and your last breath was just as shaking as his. Your vision faded, coming into focus to see blades ugly ass eye sigh this is shit

I bring misery, he says, his voice sounding like a cry heard from the other side of a wall. I have brought this upon you.

“Do not blame yourself,” you whisper, and he begins to cry– it's a mourning howl. He’s wailing; there are no signs of him stopping, as his tears come down upon your face like rain. A scarred, quivering hand clutches yours, and your heart breaks– as much as you wish to squeeze back reassuringly, there is no strength left in your body to reciprocate his gesture. No more energy to dispel his worries.

Blade tires himself out by crying; he lets out a choked sob, having lamented so hard his voice is broken, scattered like his essence. He had been begging for death just then; why did he wish for life now?

“Blade,” you whisper weakly, and it brings another wave of sobs. Blade doesn’t know he torments you with his sorrow. You lie in his arms helplessly as the man strangles himself with his cries.

Oh, it sounds so sad. So terrible, to know that you are about to pass on and he, immortal as he is, can do nothing about it– can do nothing about his death, nor yours, and can only watch as time flies by; to wait for a person who will never come back, nobody to answer his calls. Nobody to return to; nobody to look for in the bustling crowds of the Xianzhou.

Nobody to confide in, love, protect– Blade brings your hand to his lips– a gentle kiss placed on your knuckles as you manage a weak smile, lifting your hand to hold his cheek. He so desperately presses into your touch, tears trickling down his cheeks, barely able to hold back his grieving cries.

“You…” Swallowing thickly, you try to form a coherent sentence. “You haven’t changed.”

Not one bit? Blade asks sadly, pressing his lips against the palm of your hand. The shake of your head answers him, and Blade breathes in deeply, but it hitches, and he shakes with an effort to control his silent crying.

“Not one bit,” You reply with effort, and it's surprising how such a simple phrase seems to take the breath from you. Blade nods, and you exhale resignedly, bits of the world blurring into one. They say death is peaceful, but the man looking at you tells you otherwise.

“Remember me,” You say finally, and the last fragmented vision of Blade’s face blurs into nothing. Your body scatters, fading to ashes of what remains:

You are the ghost of a memory– sometimes Blade will see your figure standing in the midst of a parting crowd– there are times when you are there and moments when you aren’t. As Blade gazes at his empty, bloody hands, he begins to wonder if you were merely a fleeting dream.

But there is nothing he can do to change about it. And so his piercing wail reaches the sky, the rumble of thunder in the rushing of gray clouds, the rain purging the very essence of what made up just a fraction of his life.

Never has Blade felt so insignificant, as he recalls the words you had whispered once before.

I’ve changed, he’d repeat. I’ve changed.

You are just the same, you had said. When one’s life changes, the soul remains as is. You are better now– better, but just the same.

Blade kneels in the dirt.

Just the very same, Blade thinks, but without you, I feel truly different.

[well-gosh-diddly-darnit-minyard]

so I was just Thinking some Thoughts, as one does when one cannot sleep, and i was wondering about the saddest book I’ve ever read (either The Raven King [Sakavic, not Stiefvater] or The Sunshine Court) and the book that I was told was super super sad (A Little Life) and now I have to rant. for those of you who have read A Little Life, the book was probably advertised to you in a similar way that it was advertised to me: “this is America’s saddest book”.

and while it is true that ALL is very sad, i have some thoughts on it that I’d like to share. if you haven’t read it but you want to, this is your time to back out and avoid spoilers. also: tw for SA and abuse, and whatever else is in AFTG and ALL.

as I read ALL, I kept wondering about the amount of foreshadowing around Jude’s trauma. when I was finished, I was floored by the writing (impeccable) and the plot itself (???). i constantly felt like Jude’s trauma would vary from place to place, but it seemed like the only form of trauma that the author even considered including was that of sexual assault and abuse. and while these are topics that should totally be discussed and written about in the literature world, it seemed so unrealistic that as Jude went from state to state and place to place that his trauma would only relate to sexual assault and abuse.

and while I do realize that thousands of people across the world have suffered immense amounts of trauma from SA and abuse, when I read Jude’s past I couldn’t see his trauma as anything but exploitative and used for shock value. it also seemed like the author did surface level research on PTSD from SA. before anyone in the notes says that they thought it was accurate, I myself am a victim and it only ever felt like a Hollywood-type piece of media wherein everything is written to gain revenue. there was also very little trauma related to anything BUT sexual assault and abuse. none of it was tied together in any way (I.e., brother Luke didn’t know/wasn’t related to Dr. Traylor in any way).

one thing I truly despised was how Jude responded to all of his trauma. no im not talking about his SH. i’m talking about his half-assed thoughts of, “oh woe is me I’m the worst example of a person ever.” i say these thoughts were half-assed because it seemed like they were never really taken anywhere other than to the people around him, who responded, “no you’re not!! stop hurting yourself!! we’re trying to help you get better!!”

and Jude never got better. there were honeymoon periods, but the author always threw in something new to make his trauma resurface. he also never truly threw himself into getting better, he only ever seemed to make empty promises and then continued to wallow. and in other characters’ povs, it never seems like Jude does anything wrong EXCEPT FOR WHEN HE’S NOT ACTIVELY DOING SOMETHING TO BETTER HIMSELF. it’s only when he is not taking care of himself that others get mad at him in any way, other moments of anger are fleeting and eventually just lead to absolutely nothing.

to sum that all up: there was no moral related to trauma responses or PTSD or healing. there was no true resolution for Jude’s trauma. and the feelings that Jude seemed to have around his trauma always came back to, “I deserved it, I’m the worst person ever, I hate myself,” even when the things that he experienced were so egregious that I had to put the book down. everything was so cliche to me, to the point where I didn’t ever notice if Jude even had a personalized response to his trauma, if there was anything that wouldn’t be found in some clout-fishing TikTok about battling depression where you can practically see the person reading lines off of a poster behind the camera.

of course, take what I say with a grain of salt and don’t let my opinions of the book influence whether or not you read it and enjoy it. many people loved it and I admire the author’s use of words and her writing style, I just think her use of sensitive material for plot value was mediocre at its best.

now: The Sunshine Court.

made me cry. i have only praise for this book and so many thoughts surrounding it, but I’ll try to only talk about Jean’s trauma because that’s what my rant on ALL was about.

in TSC, Jean also experiences some very extreme trauma, and he also resorts to SH, and he also thinks that he deserved it. in my opinion, the difference between him and Jude is the authenticity.

Jean’s trauma mostly stems from his time at the nest, and I say this because his backstory has not been discussed in detail yet. but his trauma is brilliantly discussed and here’s how:

one: he is a person outside of his trauma. he makes fun of people to himself! he does the dishes and cooks!! he’s honest and brutally so!!! not much else to say on this, but I loved that every pov with Jean didn’t always talk about his trauma.

two: the two biggest triggers for him (biting and water) don’t relate!! they are two separate points of concern. biting comes from getting assaulted comes from Grayson. water comes from water boarding comes from extreme punishment comes from Riko.

three: his SH isn’t cutting himself. i realize that cutting is the most common form of SH, but there are other ways that people choose to hurt themselves that aren’t talked about at all. Jean claws at his throat, he tries to scratch the feeling of getting bitten off of his skin. he doesn’t go for the knives in the kitchen.

four: last but most certainly not least, he starts getting better!! he doesn’t just make empty promises, he actually tries to be better! and his line of recovery is. not. linear!!!!! recovery is never linear, and I thought that Nora showed that wonderfully in TSC. he goes back and forth between thinking of the Ravens and being at peace in the present, his past and present aren’t one big flashback.

overall, TSC can be summed up like this: it has a moral about healing. it doesn’t exploit trauma for shock value or revenue, it utilizes one person’s specific response to his own trauma to show how healing and recovery can happen sometimes. and the character actually tries!! he doesn’t wallow, he tries to get better!

anyway. if you made it all the way through, I appreciate you. and if you haven’t read one of these books, I strongly suggest both of them so you can form your own opinions and come to your own conclusions.

[thebluestbluewords]

pie dough woes

"It's not even good yet!" Jane cries. "Stop stealing all the pastry, there's going to be none left for the filling! You're going to become a raw pie if you keep it up!" 

"You're a raw pie." Jay manages, yanking his hand back out of Jane’s rolling pin range with a handful of dough scraps that he doesn’t deserve. There’s not even cinnamon on them yet, and if he’d just wait, and stop ruining all her plans they’d be twice as nice with the cinnamon and butter mixture she’s got planned for them. 

"You're a delicious baked pie,” Carlos says earnestly, turning his huge and terrible begging eyes up at Jane. "You're perfect and hot and a harbinger of good things into all of our lives." 

Much like a pie (baked), Jane is not going to melt under this pressure. Her butter has already solidified through the transformative cooking process, and she's got nothing left in her to be melted, even by sweet boyfriends with swoon-worthy puppy dog eyes. 

She props her elbows up on the countertop, careful of the flour bowl she's got out by her left elbow to dust the minipie dough with as she works. 

"You're very sweet, but if you eat any more of my pastry," Jane threatens. "I'm going to need to kick you out of the kitchen. And I'll feel bad about it, and then you'll be directly responsible for making me feel bad, and that's not what good boyfriends do." 

"Lucky 'or 'ou--" Jay tries. 

Jane dips her fingers into the flour bowl. If they're going to be menaces in her kitchen, there are consequences that all boys must face. "Choose your next words carefully." 

Jay wisely chooses to swallow the mouthful of raw dough he's stolen from her minipie preparations before trying again. "I said, lucky for you, we're evil--"

Jane launches her handful of flour at him. 

"Hey!" 

Their kitchen gets morning and afternoon sun because the boys insisted on picking the kitchen with the high, wide windows. It means they need to keep the fans running even in the winter if Jane's doing anything finicky with cold pastry dough, but the sight of her isle boys drinking in the sunlight that spills from the windows most of the day is well worth it. The afternoon sun they've got right now is highlighting the flour stuck to Jay's shirt, his hair, his eyelashes. 

"Oops." Jane says sweetly. "I didn't see you there." 

"Beh." Jay spits. There's sort of a lot of flour in his mouth. Oops.She should probably feel worse about that. "Peh. Ew." 

"I didn't mean for you to swallow it!" Jane cries, but oh, she can't help but laugh too. "I was just-- oh, there's so much in your hair, oh goodness." 

"Janey." 

"Yes!" Jane squeaks. She's doing a poor job at containing her giggles. Jay's eyes look so bright and pretty, even covered in flour. Jane's never looked so pretty before, not even when she's dressed to the nines and cleaned up and not covered in flour and buttery fingerprints from where they'd had a slight incident with part of the cinnamon sugar filling before. 

"You really want us to stop?" 

Oh. 

"I mean, I wanted to make a nice dessert, and it's not-- I like having you here in the kitchen with me, but it's hard to finish the pies when you keep eating all my ingredients, and I had a tray for snails all buttered already, and--" Jane forces herself to slow down, take a breath. There's no reason for her to be anxious about baking. "Don't go away, but please stop eating all my ingredients. They'll taste a lot better once they're baked, and I really do want you to try the pies once they're done." 

Jay smiles at her, flour and all, and Jane can feel the tense muscles all along her back relaxing without anything more than the small reassurance. “Okay. We can stop." 

"Thank you." 

“But you should teach us to make this dough sometime. It’s too good to keep it to yourself.” 

“You don’t—“ Jane laughs, because she can’t stop herself. “You don’t even like baking!” 

Carlos drapes himself over her side, careful and warm and comfortable even though he’s made of bones and dried spaghetti noodles. “Because we don’t know how. It’s not like we had the chance to learn as kids.” 

“I’m not a very good teacher,” Jane warns. “I’m impatient. And you’re too smart for your own good.” 

Carlos leans harder. “You taught me how to straighten my hair properly. That took a lot of patience.” 

“Pastry isn’t quite the same thing as hair, babe. There’s a lot more butter in pastry, if you’re doing it right.” 

“I’ll try putting butter in my hair if you’ll teach us how to make pie,” Jay offers, “you know you want to try butter conditioning. I’ll text Evie about it.” 

“No!” 

“Too late, I’m doing it!” Jay says cheerfully. “Butter—conditioner—thoughts? And send.” 

[tootiecakes234]

Shoto Todoroki Comfort

(Reupload)

Warnings: none. Just fluffy friendship

Today had been one of those days, where if it could go wrong it went wrong.

You woke up late for class, and the reason for that being you didn’t charge your phone last night. So not only are you late for class, but now you have no phone to text or call anyone . 

You eventually do make it and you start to think the worst is over. That is, until you get to your next class and you have a pop quiz over material you don’t even remember covering. 

You make it to lunch and realize, you forgot your lunch that you packed as well as your debit card in the rush of leaving that morning. 

At this point if anything else happens you were gonna give up!

So of course something else happens! In what world would the universe let you have a win today. You start cramping. Signs of Mother Nature about to make her grand entrance! 

That’s it, that’s when the first few tears fall. It was all too much and everything felt like it was coming down on you at once. You were frustrated, hungry, and cramping. The worst combination in history.

Your initial response was to go home and bury yourself in your bed, but your feet took you elsewhere. Before you knew it, you were at you best friend, Shoto’s place’ knocking on the door. You didn’t actually want to be alone right now.

When he came to the door a wave of relief washed over you just laying eyes on him. 

“ Hi."

"Hi."

He steps aside and lets you in. This is your second home. You and Shota had gotten so close these last few months and you were over constantly.

You go straight to his bathroom, raid his medicine cabinet for painkillers and then climb into his bed, bundling yourself in his blankets. He sits down on the edge of his bed and picks up the controller he was previously using to play his video game.

Shoto is not the person to pick up on your emotional state or social cues, so he doesn't even realize you're upset. 

" How was class?"

" Shitty. This entire day had been shitty. I feel like death!"

He paused his game and turned around to look at you.

"What happened?"

You explain the day from hell that you've had and near the end he turns around and starts pecking at his phone.

" Oh, is my pain and suffering boring you?? im sorry I bothered you with my troublesome woes."

" Huh? Oh, Sorry.... Apparently when someone is feeling overwhelmed, physical touch can help them feel grounded."

You looked at him a little baffled. 

" Is that what you were looking up on your phone just now?"

He gets up and starts climbing in on the other side of the bed. 

"Mhmm."

He doesn't say anything else. He just situates himself next to you and wraps his arm around your balled up form.

" Shoto..... are you.... trying to.... cuddle....me??"

" Yes. Is it working?"

That gets a nice, long, hardy laugh out of you. You laugh until tears start falling, and once they start, they don't stop. The dam you had built to hold everything back that day started to break. 

" Am I hurting you? Why are you crying? Do you want me to let you go?"

His voice sounded so worried now. He never knew what to do when you cried around him.

" No. please. Can we stay like this f-for a w-while?"

" Ok."

You snuggle in closer to him, and let your tears soak his shirt. He doesn't complain. Just holds you while you get it all out.

Sho realizes that you're running a little cold, and he knows he keeps his room a little chilly. He starts to use him hot side to warm you up a bit. You shiver from the amazing warmth spreading over you. 

"Thank you, you're the best friend anyone could ask for."

That's the last thing you remember before you fall asleep. You have a sound dreamless nap. When you wake up, you're still burrowed in Shoto's chest. You look up and see his calm sleeping face. He'd fallen asleep holding you. 

You stayed just like this for as long as you could, soaking up the affection. It was great until your stomach started screaming at you. You still hadn't eaten. When you try and gently remove yourself a blue eye pops open and look at you. 

Damn, it was worth a shot. 

Before you can even respond, your stomach growls loud enough for him to hear.

" Do you wanna go get soba?" He says all with his voice all groggy from sleep.

" Yes please.... Thank you for being there for me Shoto. I really needed that. I feel a lot better now."

" Good, Im glad. Google comes through once again."

You both chuckle at that. Shoto might not be the best with emotions, but he always finds a way to make you feel better.

This is my first time writing for Todoroki and I honestly hope did him justice. I wanted to write for someone different. 

Thanks for the prompt @blablabla0-0

[itstheoneshot]

Woe, Is Me

request

Summary: You just can’t get anything right, can you?

Word Count: 1.8k

Pairing: Lay Zhang x Reader

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Arguing, BDSM, Degradation.

Arriving home from work, you enter the house to be greeted by two of your four cats and you kneel down to pet them as you take off your shoes.

“Okay, okay,” You giggle as the elder one, Luobo, tries to climb onto your lap, “That’s enough, I’ll get your dinner.”

You stand back up, now carrying the cat, and you are trailed by the other, Lulu, to the kitchen where you keep all of the supplies. Quickly fixing up their food, as you place the four bowls down, the other two cats come out to feast, and you lean back on the counter to watch them.

“My love, you’re home!”

Turning around at the sound of his voice, you are greeted by your partner. Dressed casually in an oversized singlet and loose fitting tracksuit pants, clearly having spent his day at the dance studio. You smile at him as he crosses the room to you, leaning into his embrace as he wraps his arms around you.

“Yixing,” You mumble, “I missed you.”

He kisses your forehead, and then your lips, and presses his nose to yours as he stares into your eyes. It is hard, working a job that has you away from him so much, but you are so independent, and Yixing loves that about you too, so you make it work.

“I missed you too,” He replies, “But you’re back now.”

Four days on, three days off, every week until the project ends, which doesn't feel like it ever will. The pay is amazing, and the experience is too, but the exhaustion is almost too much.

“Mhmm,” You nod, “So what did you plan?”

Yixing on the other hand, never stops working. An actor, singer, dancer and a CEO, the grind never stops. He is setting you both up for life, but that doesn’t make it any easier to get through the loneliness.

“Baobei,” He sighs, “I told you, I have shows this weekend. We’ll be away.”

Fuck. You had forgotten. Your stomach drops. You were so looking forward to alone time with him, and now you won’t get that.

Oh no. You remember now, that you were supposed to organise someone to come and stay and take care of the cats so that you could go with him.

“Baby?” He asks, his tone indicates his tentativeness, reading your expression, “What’s wrong?”

Your eyes widen, wanting to cover yourself but knowing that there is no way you can fix this now.

“I’m sorry,” You stutter, “I forgot… I… I didn’t mean to.”

Yixing tilts his head curiously, “You forgot about the tour?”

“Yeah,” You nod, holding back tears, “I didn’t organise a housesitter… I can’t come. Nobody to look after the cats.”

Yixing smiles softly, lifting a hand to cup your cheek, “Don’t cry, my love. It’s okay, I’ll try and get it covered.”

You feel so stupid. He asked one thing of you and you couldn’t do it. He does everything for you, and this is how you repay him, by making him do even more.

“So dumb,” You whine, “I’m sorry, I’m the worst.”

“Baobei,” Yixing murmurs, “Don’t say that.”

His niceness only hurts you further, and tears begin to flow down your cheeks. Yixing tries to wipe them away with his thumbs, cupping both sides of your face now, but you continue to cry.

“I am!” You cry, “I’m so fucking stupid!”

“Enough,” Yixing warns you, “Why are you always like this?”

You try to steady your breaths, looking at your partner through glassy eyes. You don’t quite understand what he is talking about, and it awakens you from your crying a little bit.

“What do you mean?” You ask with a pout.

“This,” He replies, more exasperated now, “You’re so dramatic, and nothing I say or do is ever enough for you.”

An argument. Of course, you’ve started an argument.

“You’re too nice to me,” You whine, “Why can’t you just tell me I’m wrong for once?”

“Because you forgot to book a sitter?” He asks incredulously, “Do you not see how fucking minute that is as a problem?”

Tensions are running hot, and you can’t see reason.

“You asked me to do one thing,” You argue, “And I couldn’t do that, you should be frustrated.”

“The only thing that is frustrating,” He counters, “Is the constant victim mentality bullshit you have going on.”

It isn’t often that Yixing swears at you, but when he does, it fires you up.

“What the fuck do you mean?” You ask, “It’s true, I can’t do anything right!”

Yixing’s hands move down from your face to your shoulders, gripping a little tighter than necessary, he stares at you with a blank expression, and it frightens you.

“Why can’t you get it through your head,” He growls, “That a tiny mistake doesn’t make you a total fuck-up?”

In an instant he is kissing you, before you have a chance to protest. One hand moves to your throat to keep you silent, but nothing stops you from kissing him back. It hurts, the way that his nails dig into your neck, but it has you crumbling, and fast.

“You drive me crazy,” Yixing hisses, stepping you backwards down the hallway, not seeming to care about the way that you grip to him to steady your feet, “Always complain, woe is me, sometimes you just need to shut the fuck up for a minute.”

You don’t often see this side of your partner, quite the opposite of the soft spoken, angelic man that you are usually met with. Yixing pushes you up against the wall right by your bedroom door. His kisses are charged, forceful, and your breathing is shallow with his hand still firmly grasping your neck.

“You’re gonna make us late,” He says, though it doesn’t really seem like he finds this an issue, “Better make this worth it.”

Right when you think you can no longer take it, he lets go only to grab a fistful of your hair instead. He turns you away from him, and pushes you ahead into your room, knocking you face down onto the mattress, where he grabs your pants to tear them down your legs.

“Much better like this,” He purrs, your face is pressed into the covers, “I don’t have to hear you, I can just admire that sexy body of yours.”

You whine as he puts you down, unable to see him, but you hear him unbuckle his belt. You are puzzled for a moment as you do not hear it fall to the floor, but you find out why that is only a second later.

Crack!

Leather to skin. He spanks you hard across the ass with the belt, you grip to the sheets and are ashamed of how good that felt for you. Once, twice, three times in quick succession before you hear the material fall to the floor, and feel the weight shift behind you as Yixing leans down to kiss the raw flesh.

“Good girl,” He praises against your skin, his hands now working to pull down his tracksuit, “Let me take you now, we have to be quick.”

You arch your back prettily, ass up for him as his hands slip between your thighs. You never thought that being hit would turn you on, but you are soaked, and Yixing is so fucking hard when he feels you.

“Fuck me,” You whimper, “Come on, please?”

No time for foreplay, you want to be fucked stupid, want your boyfriend to take out his anger, and that he will. Stopping momentarily to get a condom from your bedside drawer, he rolls it down over his cock before lining it up with you. Bracing yourself, you glance back at him over your shoulder just as he makes his first move.

“Don’t look at me,” He warns, his voice breathy and low, “I don’t want to see your face.”

You look away as he thrusts all the way in, the stretch a little much at first, but you aren’t against it, pressing back into him as he pulls out to thrust in again. His nails dig into your hips as he takes out his rage on you, and you can’t help but moan every time he fills you completely.

“Much better,” He groans, “My perfect cocksleeve, look at you taking all of me, that’s all you were made to do.”

You know that he doesn’t mean it, but the harshness of his words has you gasping, clenching to him as he fucks you senseless. It’s hard to breathe still, with your face pressed into the bed, and your orgasm nearing as his speed and intensity picks up to an insane level.

“Fuck,” You whimper, all but forgetting to be quiet, “Love your cock, Yixing, love you.”

He laughs as he lets go of your hip to grab your hair, turning your head so that you can look back at him. His eyes are dark and brooding, glassy and you can tell that he is holding himself back. You can tell that his anger is subsiding, but think that is probably because he is so close to climax.

“Cum with me,” He orders, “Need you to help, don’t hold back, can you do that?”

You nod furiously, focusing on the unraveling knot in your stomach, thighs shaking and barely able to keep you upright as your orgasm comes crashing down over you. Yixing’s moans mix with yours as he releases too, cock twitching as you pulsate around him.

“Holy shit,” You gasp as Yixing pulls out roughly, taking the condom off and tying it before throwing it into the trash next to your bed, “That was so good.”

Yixing kisses you as he pulls you up to stand, licking into your mouth while his fingers card through your hair in an attempt to fix the messiness of it.

“I wasn’t too rough, was I?” He asks.

“No,” You shake your head with a little giggle, “I liked it.”

He smiles as he steps back to get dressed, and you follow suit, though because you still have half your clothes on from the rush, it doesn’t take long.

“Come, the sitter should be here in a minute,” Yixing smiles at you, chuckling as he sees your shocked expression, “What? I got it sorted, and we need to go.”

You roll your eyes at him, but bite your tongue to not put yourself down again, knowing that is what upset him in the first place. Instead you are grateful, taking his hand with a quiet thank you, and you follow him out to the hall, greeting the housesitter quickly before you both depart for the airport, knowing that you are cutting it fine to make the flight.

“I love you,” Yixing confesses, and it makes your stomach do flips, the same way that it does every time he has said it over the years, “Don’t ever forget it.”

[drabblesandimagines]

Milkshake

Lil' follow-up to Syrup that I couldn't get outta my head after seeing the finale! Rei x reader, fluffy fluff

-

You blink – not quite believing your eyes when the grey dot has changed to green next to his name. You haven’t seen that in weeks. You’d spent literal hours on voice chat together, sometimes playing a multiplayer game, sometimes doing your own thing, sometimes just chatting and nothing else, right up until a couple of weeks before Christmas when things went radio silent. At first you shrugged it off, thinking that it was the run up to the holidays, things maybe just got busy, or maybe his internet was out, or maybe he’d even gone out of town and just hadn’t mentioned it… But then, when the Morio Kart DLC expansion came out – one that you knew both Rei and Miri had been so excited to play – you began to feel a little hurt. Your mind would often try and dissect the snippets of your last conversation, trying to work out if you’d offended him somehow, said something weird?

There’s another beep and a notification pops up. ReiSuwa1 is inviting you to voice chat. Your disbelief turns to annoyance – he’s ghosted you for so long, this better be one hell of an explanation.

You lean back in your gaming chair, kicking your feet up on the TV console as you hit accept. “Hello, stranger.” Your tone is tense.

“What?!” A voice cries out – it’s too far from wherever the microphone is but it doesn’t sound like Rei. There’s a lot of racket – like someone’s scrambling around, looking for something, then it stops.

“Hello?” You try again.

“Who’s this?” Definitely not Rei. Had his account been hacked?

“Er, you called me.”

“I did?” They sound puzzled. “I was just trying to switch the damn thing off and then your voice started coming out the headset. Rei’s shown me but I can never remember the right buttons…”, the mysterious voice rambles on before stopping. There’s a twinge in your stomach at the mention of Rei’s name. “Oh… Are you that girl he was speaking to, from the video games shop?”

You try your best to sound casual. “Well, that depends on how many girls from video games shops he talks to.”

“You’ve met Rei, right? I don’t think you’ll be surprised to hear the amount is incredibly low, single digit low. One and under.”

“Ah, you must be Kazuki.”

“Huh, he mentioned me?” You hear him sit down on something with a loud exhale – must be getting comfortable.

“Yeah, loads of times.” He had – funny stories, usually.

“Well, I’m honoured.” He chuckles.

“Hey, just whilst I’ve got you on the line and all,” you pause and wonder if you’re going to regret this, but press on regardless, “Is Rei okay?”

“Yeah.” There’s a beat. “Why? Has he said something?”

“See, that’s the thing – he hasn’t said anything. I haven’t spoken to him since, like, mid-December. I was really surprised to see him calling, to be honest…” You trail off.

“Oh!” Kazuki sounds genuinely surprised, or is an incredible actor on his roommate’s behalf. “I mean, he’s been on here with Miri recently, but when I properly think about, I haven’t seen him play anything solo in a while.”

“Sorry, this is probably the worst conversation to have got yourself into. I think I misread things – I shouldn’t drag you into my woes.”

“No, he…” He sighs. “How do I say this? There was… There was an accident about two months ago. Rei really injured his right arm. He’s a lost a lot of the mobility in it, including his hand. He’s doing physio, but…”

“Oh, jeez.” You exhale.

“He’s okay now. Well, okay-ish. They don’t think he’s really going to get a lot of movement back in it. Shit.” He mutters, as if he’s had a realization. “I kinda forgot that means video games are off the table. I thought he wasn’t playing with Miri because he says she’s a bad loser, but I guess he can’t use the controller thing as well as he used to?”

“Mm, a lot of them do just work off the premise that everyone’s got two functioning hands. You can do some tactical button mapping on some, I think. Gotta admit I haven’t looked into it much.” You bite your lip in thought. “Poor Rei. That must be a big adjustment.”

“Yeah. I mean, he’s taking it really well. Never complains.” Another pause. “I mean, you haven’t even seen him by the shop? He took Miri a couple of weekends ago to get some new figure to unlock something.”

“Oh. No, I don’t work weekends. He… He knows that.” Your stomach is twisting in knots. There were a few times him and Miri would pop in when he picked her up from daycare to say hello and on a rare occasion, he would show up online on the weekend saying Kazuki was out somewhere with Miri, so he knew your rota.

“I’m sorry.” He sounds genuine, at least.

“No, I’m sorry – I just feel a bit of an idiot.” You don’t know what it is, but Kazuki is surprisingly easy to talk to and you need to get it off your chest. “Like, I was trying to build up the courage to ask if we could go for a real date instead of all these virtual ones we seemed to be having. Probably for the best he ghosted me, huh?”

“No, I think he would’ve liked that. Honestly, this…” he pauses, as if he’s choosing his words carefully, “accident has been a lot. Rei’s surprisingly sensitive, he’s probably worried that he wouldn’t be able to keep up with you. Did you guys do quests or some shit?”

“You do know video games!”

“I may have overheard some key terms, that’s it. And, er, don’t ignore the question.”

“Yeah, we did. He’s a much better player than me, though. He was dragging my stats up.” You sigh. It’s not what you wanted at all, but maybe it’s a sense of closure. “Well, I’m glad he’s okay-ish. I don’t know if you want to tell him you accidentally called the video games store girl, but if you do, tell him… Tell him I’m thinking of him, yeah?”

“Sure will. Erm, whilst I’ve got an expert on the line – A, how do I hang up and B, how do I turn this machine off?”

You laugh. “I’ll hang up so that’ll take care of that. Do you see the really big rectangular button in the middle of the controller?”

“Mm.”

“If you hold that down it’ll bring up a start up menu, kinda like a laptop? Then you can select power off and that’s you.”

“Thank you. And, hey, I will speak to Rei, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks. Bye, Kazuki.”

You press the end call button, as promised, and a few seconds later you see Rei’s icon change to offline so it looks like Kazuki at least managed to turn off the machine. You fling off your headset, spin your chair around to face your bed and collapse down onto it face-first, letting out an exhale. Poor Rei…

--

You’re so tired. You tossed and turned all night with an idea swirling around your head. You got up, wrote it down, and got back under the sheets but your brain still wouldn’t shut up about it. You’d spent until the really early hours conducting research and now, you’re on your third cup of coffee due to an early delivery you need to sign for at the shop, annoyed at yourself but you wouldn’t say you were full of regret what you’d discovered.

You’d been thinking about Rei and that, if he did want to play video games, there must be something out there to help. Whilst you found there were some consoles with “official” adaptive controllers in a way – and, ouch, eye-wateringly expensive, much? - your research also led you to a bunch of online videos where people shared their modded designs - even the schematics or a print bundle for you to 3D print your own to adapt the controller yourself for numerous different machines. The reviews are sometimes so-so, things are a work in progress, but you wonder if you could take parts of one and parts of another and try and make something workable.

As you watch the boxes get unloaded and put into the store room, you wonder if whether you’re getting way ahead of yourself. Sure, you could make the adaptor for the controller but if you did, how do you know he even wants such a thing, plus how would you even get it to him? You didn’t have his number – it was the shop policy to shred anything with customer’s details on right after the repair had been complete and you’d rang off the store’s phone those few months ago.

You sigh, before taking another deep sip of coffee. The problem is, you know you, and once you set your mind to a project you’re going to see it to the bitter end.

“Sign here, please.” The delivery driver pulls you out of your thoughts as he taps on the clipboard, after stacking up the last of the boxes.

Right – work first.

--

A week later, you’re sat at your desk fiddling with various parts. You’d found a place that offered 3D printing facilities, so you’d printed out a bunch of stuff on your day off that you’d bookmarked for possibilities and you’ve spent your evenings since placing bits and pieces together to try and make something workable. Luckily from your shared game play and access to his gaming history via his profile, you know what games Rei likes so you can begin to test your configurations a little, noting down what is and isn’t working to try and tweak things further.

Your console chimes – you’d turned it on when you got home to download an update. Looking at the screen, you see a notification. ReiSuwa1 is inviting you to voice chat.

You grab your headset and slip it on before picking up your own controller and hesitating. The conversation with Kazuki had popped up in your mind since you’d spoken and as you reflected, you’d begun to wonder if you’d just sounded so utterly sad and desperate.

You press accept and brace yourself. “Hello?”

“Hey!” It’s Kazuki again. “I deliberately called this time – I promise.”

“You’re learning.” You smile, rolling your seat back over to your desk. “What can I help you with?”

“I spoke to Rei.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t say it like that – I was covert.”

“Yeah?”

“I just said I noticed that I hadn’t seen him playing on here recently alone, or speaking to you… He admitted it’s difficult with the controller. He didn’t want to bother you.”

“Bother me?”

“Yeah. I didn’t quite get it either. I pressed him on it a bit – said something about holding you back in gameplay, that maybe you wouldn’t want to speak to him anymore.”

“What? No, that’s not right – we spoke loads of times when neither of us were even playing.”

“I know! I suggested he called you, I said you were probably worried about him since from what he and Miri had told me about you, you seemed a nice girl, but he shrugged it off in his usual Rei way.”

“It’s okay, you can’t force him.”

“Oh, I can. As his roommate and friend, it’s important that I aid him in his recovery, and that is reconnecting with his friends, if not more.” Is it possible to hear someone wink through a call? Cos you feel he definitely just did. “So, I was wondering, whatcha doing Saturday?”

“Huh?”

“Miri’s desperate for a new kart thing? We’ve got a chore chart, she gets a gold star every time she does her tasks and I said when she’s earned enough, Rei will get it for her. So, I thought, maybe, if you happened to be in a certain video games store on your day off and I sent a certain man to go in…”

“Ah, I don’t know.”

“Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“He could think I’m stalking him.”

“Uh-uh, you’ll be in the store first.”

You look at the controller in your hand. “I’ve been working on something dumb.”

“Are you changing the subject?”

“No, it’s related. You know I repair controllers, right? Well, after our conversation, I’ve been fiddling around with some adaptors - you kinda clip them on the controller and then you can use it with one hand. I thought it might be something Rei would want to try, I mean, he might want to try…”

There’s silence from Kazuki’s end of the line.

“I’m sorry, is that creepy I’ve done that? It’s probably creepy.”

There’s a loud sniff.

“Are you…? Are you crying?”

“No! It’s just allergies.” There’s another loud sniff. “That settles it - we’re doing this. Give me your number.”

--

When Saturday rolls around, you’ve got the controller adapters into decent shape and they’ve passed all your self-created one hand tests. Kazuki and you have been texting off and on the last few days and he’s bringing both Rei and Miri to the mall – there’s some live performance of those dancing vegetables from the TV that kids seem to like so much. Whilst Kazuki takes Miri to that, he’s going to get Rei to head to the Joypad and pick up Miri’s figure as a surprise. You’d taken your spare controller with the adaptors in place to work yesterday and left your bag in the back office – more so as an excuse to your colleagues as to why you’re there on your day off. You don’t know how to explain that your crush’s roommate has set an elaborate meet-cute for you both, so with Kazuki’s detailed updates and ETAs, you time it perfectly to pop in the store, greeting Mr Kyoto himself before slipping into the back office to pick up your backpack. You got in the back office as Kazuki texted to say that he could see Rei entering the store now – oh, jeez, is this the creepiest thing you’ve ever done? – and you wait about a minute before exiting. The timing is almost too perfect - you’re walking down the aisle towards the exit as Rei’s walking up, looking for the figurine.

His right arm is strapped up in some sort of black immobilization aid, keeping it close to his chest, but he looks as good as ever and you suddenly feel queasy. This was a terrible idea, you’re considering spinning on your heels and diving back into the office until he leaves but it’s too late as the two of you make eye contact.

Rei looks almost embarrassed to see you, and there’s an awkward staring competition before you realise you’re the one that needs to break the ice.

“Hi, stranger,” you smile, casually.

“Hi.” His cheeks are tinged red and he looks down at the floor for a moment. “Er… I’m sorry that I haven’t been online, or in here for a while…”

“That’s okay, it seems a lot has happened since we last spoke.” A not so veiled reference to his arm. “Are you doing all right?”

“It is what it is.” He shrugs. “I’m… adjusting. How are you?”

“I’m okay.” A pause. “I… I’ve missed talking to you, though.”

“Me too.”

You swallow, “What brings you here today, then?”

“Oh, Miri wants another one of these.” He casts his eyes to the display and grabs the character she’s after. You’re not sure which one, you’re too busy staring at his face.

“Oh, er, cool.” There’s another awkward pause and you lose all confidence. “Erm, well, I should let you get on. It was nice to see you, though…”

“Yeah,” he nods. This was such a stupid idea, you berate yourself, as you go to walk past him. He suddenly steps in front of you. “Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Are you busy right now?”

“Erm, no…”

“Can I buy you a milkshake?”

You smile. “A milkshake?”

“I seem to remember you like them,” there’s a smirk on his face. There was one evening when you enthusiastically described an incredible milkshake that one of the kiosks in the mall made for probably a solid five minutes.

“That is true. Okay, then.” You nod. “You can buy me a milkshake.”

“Cool. I’ll just go buy this…” He nods to the figurine in his head and heads up to the counter, where Mr Kyoto is beaming at you, giving you two thumbs up and you avoid eye contact, pretending you don’t see your boss’ celebration. Rei retrieves his phone from his pocket as Mr Kyoto is scanning the figurine through the register and about 45 seconds later, your own phone buzzes.

Kazuki has sent you a text message comprising entirely of emojis – a winking face and love hearts.

--

You’re sat at one of the tables in the food court, sipping on milkshakes and chatting away like no time has passed. Rei’s slowly been opening up about his online absence.

“I just… I wasn’t sure if you’d still want to hang out if I can’t play.”

“Rei, I wasn’t just talking to you because I wanted to game with you, I was talking to you because I like talking to you.” You take another slurp of milkshake for a shot of sugar rush courage. “And, just to make this absolutely clear because I don’t think I was in all of our previous conversations, I quite like you, actually.”

“You do?” He smirks.

“Mm. I was going to ask you on a date.”

“You were going to?”

“Yeah, but then you went offline. You’re a hard guy to track down.”

“Ah.” He nods, taking a sip of his own drink.

“And I need to be completely honest because I feel creepy - Kazuki accidentally called me from your profile a week or so ago.”

“Is that why he and Miri are hiding behind that plant?” He gestures lazily to the corner and you see a flash of blonde duck behind the greenery and hear the little girl giggle.

“Most likely, yes.” You sigh. “He’s a sweet guy.”

“He is.”

“Sorry, I think he just felt bad for me and my sob story. And, well, he kinda told me about your arm too…” You pick up your backpack and place it on the table. “And it got me thinking – you know how I like messing around with controllers anyway?”

He nods.

“Well, it turns out there’s some really clever people out there making devices to ensure people with limited hand movement can enjoy video games, so, I kinda got a little too into researching it and mixed and matched and came up with this,” you dig into your bag and remove the controller - it's got the plastic adaptors clipped over it - placing it onto the table.

“So, you can use all the joysticks and triggers across the whole thing with your left hand.” You demonstrate, taking him through what controls what. “You’ll need to do some button configuration still on start menus, but I tried it out on my console on a few things I know you’ve played and it’s super easy.” You look up and he’s just staring at you, almost in disbelief and you panic.

“I mean, I’m not expecting you to use it or even take it home with you because I know this whole thing has been super creepy and I’ve overstepped so many boundaries and, like, talking behind your back with Kazuki, but I…” Without any indication, he leans forward and kisses you on the lips, gently, cutting off your ramble. He tastes like his strawberry milkshake.

He has a dreamy smile on his face as he pulls back and you’re sure you look like a total idiot, your mouth open in disbelief at the turn of events.

“Huh.” You find your voice. “I take that means you like it?”

“Mm, and I like you.” He gets to his feet and holds out his left hand to you. “Kazuki and Miri are going to get kicked out if they continue to hide in the shrubbery any longer. Come back to ours, you can show me how this thing works again.”

You nod, stuffing the controller back into your backpack and taking his outstretched hand. He doesn’t let go as he leads you over to Miri and Kazuki. The little girl greets you eagerly, crashing into your legs.

You don’t even need to hear Kazuki to put a face to a voice – his loud sniff as he wipes away his tears is enough to give it away.

--

Check out my masterlist.

[nicomundthered]

Dead Of Night- A Bodyguard AU

chapter one: Incomplete and Insecure

summary: Din gets hired to be your bodyguard and you absolutely hate it. Until you don’t.

paring: Din Djarin x fem!reader

tags/warnings: alternate universe, not so loving family, no space-we on earth, sucky home life.

word count: 5k | ao3

a/n: figured I’d give this a try. I’ll be happy to continue if people seem into the idea.

masterlist

“I don’t want a bodyguard.”

The mere thought of it was ridiculous. You were an adult and you didn’t need some random man following you around. The concept was, you can’t stress this enough- ridiculous.

“Don’t be so dramatic. It’s not like he’ll be watching you sleep.”

“But mother…”

“Really, you get this from your father,” her tone was flat.

“What? What do I get from dad?” You were getting annoyed, she was deflecting.

“This- this whole woe is me attitude. You live in a mansion. You have the car of your dreams,” she applied her lipstick in the mirror. “Any clothes or jewelry,” she smacked her lips, “and still you find something to complain about.”

“Oh here we go again,” you rolled your eyes. “Why do you hold all of this above my head? It’s like every nice thing you do for me is written on some checklist, and everytime we fight you use it to throw your ‘kindness’ back in my face.” You took a calming breath and stopped yourself before you said something you couldn’t take back. “You do this every time you know…”

“Do tell me again what a bad mother I am. Tell me how difficult your life is. Please, I implore you to tell me how horrible I am for caring about your safety,” she stood from her makeup chair and walked over to her jewelry closet. “Senator Taylor’s family was threatened, and you know Senator McCarthy’s pool house was broken into — something is going on. I can feel it in my bones and I’ll be damned if something sinister happens to mydaughter.”

“All of that was probably coincidental. I mean people trying to rob the rich isn't exactly a new concept,” you attempted to argue but she had moved on.

She placed an elegant necklace around her neck, “Fasten it dear.”

You walked over to her, fastened the necklace, and then made eye contact with her through the mirror.

She sighed and then said your name, “I know it seems like some big ordeal, but it’s not. You see the way my security team interacts with me, I hardly even notice them. And really I should have assigned you your own before you went to college…times were different then I suppose,” she smiled at you wistfully. “Really, he will just—”

“I have enough people following me around as it is! Between the news and the paparazzi, I just- I feel like I don’t ever just…get to exist. If I pick my nose it will be all over the internet...It’s- it’s claustrophobic.”

She cringed in slight disgust, but then her eyes grew kinder. Eyes that were so charismatic and engaging- they made you feel like the center of her world. You were convinced that that's how she's won every election she's run in.

“Just for a few months, ok? For our peace of mind. And then when all of this blows over, we will discuss the subject again.”

You turned around and put some distance between the two of you. You didn’t like it, you knew she was lying, but you’ve never won an argument with your mother in your entire life. “Only if you promise me, just a few months.”

“You have my word,” she captured your hand, placed it between both of hers, and softly shook up and down. When she dropped it, only her expensive creams remained.

She slid on her high heels, stood quickly, and walked to the door purposefully, “Tell you father he has two hours before he has to meet me for brunch.” She turned back suddenly, “And make sure he doesn’t wear red. It makes him look like he has high blood pressure.”

And with that she was gone. The hurried clicking of her heels echoed throughout the house.

You made your way to your dad’s studio. Which happened to be on the opposite end of the house from your mother’s dressing room. For a long time you assumed that she had planned it that way, but the more you’ve thought about it, you wouldn’t be surprised if it was by your dad’s design.

In fact you’d almost bet on it.

The nostalgic smell of paint wafted out onto the halls. It made you think of a simpler time before both of your parents found their respective successes. In a much smaller home in the suburbs. When you had a dog, and could play on the playground without being stalked and questioned.

“Dad?” you knocked loudly.

The last time you had forgotten to, you walked in, and he was standing on a stool completely naked. Thankfully with his back turned to you. He was working on a prospective piece and claimed that he needed to see his penis from a different angle. Thankfully you couldn’t see the mirror that was beneath him.

He apologized after, saying that he smoked too much and the piece wouldn’t work anyhow. He would need a model to capture what he was going for and that your mother would never allow that kind of scandal.

Which was a perfect example of why they married. Your mother’s feet were so far in the ground they burned, and your dad’s head was so high in the clouds you often wondered if he could see the ground at all.

At one time they were the perfect balance. They helped each other find that happy medium. It helped her become a respected Senator, and it helped him become a world renowned painter.

“Come in sunshine.”

You opened the door and the sounds of smooth jazz caressed you pleasantly. There was always a moment of relief when you heard peaceful music. If he was listening to anything experimental or avant- garde…you never quite knew what you were walking into.

You walked over to his balcony where he was painting something that looked like a pile of mud on the canvas. You knew that it would turn into something beautiful or endearingly wacko, but either way brilliant and captivating.

“She said you are meeting her for brunch in two hours.”

He looked over at you, “Oh…I completely forgot about that.” He scraped some paint off of the canvas and then slapped it back on. He stepped back and decided that he liked what he had done. “I would have tried to get some sleep last night if I had known—”

You laughed, “You are such a liar.”

He chuckled in return then he looked up at you, “Sunshine, why do you look so troubled?” He put his paintbrush down and in three long strides was standing in front of you. He lovingly grabbed your shoulders and brought you into a hug.

He smelled a little strong but that was to be expected. When inspiration hit him he’d sometimes spend days locked away. It had only been two, but you could definitely tell.

“The bodyguard…”

“What bodyguard?” He stepped back in a moment of confusion. It always took him some time to turn off his creative mind and get back to reality.

“The one mom hired for me.”

“Oh! Oh yes, that bodyguard, of course.”

You laughed, “Is there another?”

“I’m sorry,” he chuckled. “Sometimes it takes me a second to get my head on straight.”

“It’s ok. It’s probably the lack of sleep and all of these fumes.” You waved your hand through the air dramatically.

“Ha ha ha, very funny,” he said sarcastically. “You get used to it though,” he winced, “not that you should.”

He turned off his music and sat at his desk. There were papers stacked high and all sorts of small sculptures scattered across. He moved the vine of an overgrown plant out of his way. When he sat a small cloud of dust poofed out from his seat. It was obvious he didn’t sit there frequently.

“So tell me, how is he?”

“The bodyguard?”

He shook his head yes.

“He’s not here yet.”

“Oh? I just thought—” he nervously sat back.

“It’s fine, no I just don’t want one,” you sat in one of the chairs facing his desk – from back when he used to have buyers come over. Now he sells out entire galleries in New York, Toronto, Paris, Madrid, you name it.

“Well I am sorry, but you aren't going to care for my response,” he said with a look of regret.

“Maybe I should just move out. It's way past time and I've been thinking about it lately.”

“I know you've stayed for your mother and I. Sometimes I think you're scared of what would happen to us when you left. That's not a fair thing to ask of your child.”

“You- you, That’s not, I don't know what—”

“You don't have to admit it. I know you,” he smiled and leaned forward onto his messy desk. “I was like you once, believe it or not. I put everything on hold for your mother, which at the time was probably the right thing to do. After all, I made zero dollars a month and she was an up and coming politician. It was the right thing to do and I have no regrets. I listened to my heart and my heart was her, but Sunshine, life is passing you by.”

He was right but he was also wrong. True, you did help keep your parents from killing each other, but the real reason you haven't left yet was you weren't exactly sure who you were. Like literally, everyone (your mother) dictated every facet of your life – your degree, who you dated, how you dressed, even things like which concerts you could attend, and the clothes you wore. And so you were left with something that felt like an empty shell sometimes.

Too passive, too submissive, too ready to please everyone. You just cared too much about people who didn't care what it was doing to you in return. As long as they were happy, your feelings didn't matter. Which scared you because without all of this who even were you. What did you want with your life? You had no clue.

“Dad,” you sniffled.

“No listen. I know I'm not a very serious person and you've caught me doing some…interesting things, but take me seriously just for a moment please.”

You nodded.

“I appreciate everything you've done for us. All of the arguments, all of the angry hateful things that we've said to each other – you were there for most of them. You somehow always managed to help us get through them.”

His shoulders tensed and his voice slightly shook, “We should have been better for you, you deserved better. But- but things are changing. In a week I’m starting my European tour with my exhibit. And your mother is about to begin her campaign. We won't be here very much and it's a shame that you will be.”

He got up and moved to the front of his desk. He moved something that slightly resembles a whale out of the way, and half leaned- half sat in front of you, “I know you sneak out sometimes. I wish it wasn't necessary but if your mother caught you – I understand. It's just- you're plenty old enough to do whatever you want. You shouldn't feel like you have to hide and sneak around, it's not healthy.”

“I don't do anything crazy, I just don’t want to hear her go on and on about it,” you interjected defensively.

You went to some parties, and occasionally though not often, you went to a few nightclubs. You always went at night and wore your hair and makeup completely different, it was amazing the cameras hadn't captured pictures of you yet. But you were as cautious as you could be- never drank too much, never went home with random guys.

“I know- I know I trust you,” he smiled, “But I’m rambling and I want to say two things to you. First of all I want you to live your life and stop worrying about us.” You opened your mouth to finally tell him how you felt, but he raised his hand, stopping you, and continued, “Freedom is an important thing, however, what happened to the Tucker’s and the Montgomery’s…”

“Taylor’s and McCarthy’s.”

“That’s who I said. Regardless, it's serious stuff.” His eyes always shimmered with mischief, they did not currently. “I can't believe I’m going to say this, but I couldn't agree with your mother more. Even if you moved out — if they wanted a senator's daughter it would be easy to get you. I am not ok with that.”

“Well what if the bodyguard is the bad guy? That happens in lots of movies.” He didn't move a muscle and you felt your fight leave you, if your dad was worried it was serious.

He sighed, “The head of your mother’s security team recommended him. He has some kind of really extensive training…background or something like that, or at least I think that's right.”

“That's all you know about him? Or think you know about him.” you scoffed. That was all he knew about the man now in charge of your life.

“Look- despite our differences, I trust your mother. And if she trusts her team, then so do I.”

He picked up an old paintbrush from his desk, oh there you are, he said to himself. And then walked back over to his painting, done with the conversation, done with you.

His art would always come first. As he looked back at his painting the worry lines left his face, and you could almost see his head float high above his shoulders.

You stood huffing loudly, whipping your body around and walked to the door. Just as you had your hand on the handle, the music resumed.

“Oh and hey,” he looked at you almost in a daze, “she said to wear that red shirt you love.” And with that, you smiled, feeling quite satisfied with yourself, and went to talk to Frank.

Frank was the head of your mother’s security team, you weren’t even positive your dad knew his name if you were being honest.

He was in his early fifties, attractive, with gray hair and a trimmed beard. He was tall, though not as tall as your dad, which for some reason amused you, and very fit. He worked out twice a day and ate an extremely clean diet. If your mother wasn't so worried about her image you knew that she would flirt with him- but you had never seen any evidence of that.

You didn't really know much about him admittedly, just that he was a good man, and a father. True you had never had your own personal security, but Frank had taken you to school more than a few times when you were younger – your parents often forgot or were too busy.

He had also gotten you out of some tricky situations.

Once, when you were eleven, you were at the beach with your mother and a couple of her politician friends and their kids. Basically, for you, it was a playdate with extraordinarily boring kids. You dared them to swim in the ocean, and they said crap like their mother forbade them, and whined about the water being shark infested.

So for some reason unbeknownst to you at the time, you took it as a challenge and dove into the oncoming waves. Your mother called out to you quicker than you'd like, but out of sheer spite you swam out deeper and deeper.

As it turns out, sharks weren't the reason for the adults' strict rules- riptides were.

And just when you were certain of your impending doom, Frank came swimming to the rescue. You trusted him implicitly after that.

The only other time you care to mention was when you were at your best friend's seventeenth birthday party. You got too drunk and didn't know what to do. So you called Frank. He took care of you and didn’t even care that you vomited in his personal car. And maybe most importantly he kept it a secret.

He had a daughter a couple of years younger than you. And you always got her a gift for her birthday. You tried a couple of times to buy him something nice, but he rejected it like it insulted him. So instead, you buy her things.

So yeah you knew Frank. In some ways he was more of a parent to you than either of biological parents.

“Frank?”

He said your name with delight as he turned to you with a steaming cup of black coffee in his hand. “It's been awhile since you've visited the dungeon.” That was what you had named the 'observation room’. The room was in the basement, with a desk that faced loads of screens, a mini fridge, a coffee maker, and a long silver couch. There were no lights but the computer screens softly lit the room. When you were younger you were frightened to go inside. You had said that it looked like a dungeon and the name had stuck.

And yes you didn't visit the dungeon frequently, but you often hid from everyone in the empty bedroom next door. It was your favorite place to read and take naps.

“I have a question for you.”

“I wonder…what it could possibly be about,” he smirked and sipped on his coffee.

“Funny. Real funny.”

He laughed into his mug, spilling a little on his crisp black shirt. You winced but he didn't even flinch as the hot liquid touched his chest.

“No but seriously, who is this random dude you have hired to protect me?”

“Random dude,” he muttered and shook his head. “If you knew how many people I’ve looked into and interviewed, you wouldn’t ask me that.”

“Frank…it’s not that I don’t trust you. I know nothing about him, and if I have to have him following me around- I’d just like it to not be a complete stranger if that makes sense.”

“Of course it makes sense.” He looked back to the monitors and when he was satisfied that nothing was amiss he sat his mug down and faced you. “What do you want to know?”

“Oh gee I don’t know, his credentials, what was his last job, why did he start doing this, just- everything…”

“I won’t tell you his life story if that’s what you're asking of me. That’s his to tell and I don't know very much.” He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed the spill on his shirt. “And I’ll be honest with you, he will be around you constantly, but he's not doing this to make friends with you. Your mother only speaks to me when there's an update to her schedule or she needs me to do something.”

“Right I know that, and I- I wasn’t asking for anything that personal—”

“I will give you a little something that might ease your mind, maybe make you not so scared of him.”

“I’m not scared of him!” you raised your voice a little too loud. You grimaced, “Sorry, I just- its weird to have someone following me around is all, no offense.”

“None taken. But I promise, you lucked out- he's a Mandalorian.”

“Ok? And that's good because..what is that exactly?”

He chuckled, “It means he's an absolute badass.” You looked at him with a look that said aaand?

“He was a student of the Mandalor.” You raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“I sometimes forget that you're not into all this stuff. It's old, ancient even. He was one of the last ones if not the last.”

“Last?”

“Well he was, until he took off his mask and began all of his work with the special forces.”

“Mask? You really aren't making much sense right now.”

“I’m sorry but you won’t trick me into saying much else about him, but…” You swore that his eyes lit up. “If I had to compare it to something it's kinda like a martial art. I'm not even sure if that does it justice. I’ll just say If you think shaolin monks are extreme…I don’t even know much if I’m being honest with you. I’m hoping he’ll talk to me about it eventually.”

He looked excited talking about it, almost nerdy, “But honor is their main part of their creed. They don’t take it lightly and—”

“I’m not trying to be rude, but all because this ex-Mandalorian once followed a creed that focused on honor - we just trust him?”

“It’s much more- extreme than that. You should look into it or if you really insist, you could ask him yourself.” He looked at his watch, “He should be here in an hour.”

“Wait, what? I didn’t think he was coming today.”

“He was wanting to get to work as soon as I hired him.”

“Wow, ok – a warning might have been nice.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m serious, you won’t even know he’s there unless you want to.”

What a strange thing for him to say. You smiled and quickly excused yourself. The last thing you needed to do was fuss at Frank.

Though, you did need to get out of the house. You were sweating and suddenly felt very anxious. Just like with anything in life, you thought that you had more time to somehow weasel your way out of this. But now you felt that your time was precious. What do you do with your last moments as a free woman?

You decided that you’d just go for a long walk. Boring, you know but not much made you feel as free as a walk did. And it would be your last one without a Michael Myers trailing behind you.

Din was excited for this job.

He had been out of work for six months now recovering from his injuries.

After fifteen years in the special forces, his last bout of injuries forced him to retire. No Purple Heart or medal of honor, the work he did was silent, only top government officials even knew of it. Though Din never did anything for the accolades, so they could keep their medals it didn't bother him in the slightest.

His life was full of training. That's all he's really ever known, and once his body had recovered he was for the first time in his life bored. He didn't have much- very few possessions, an old car, a shitty apartment, he suddenly felt like he had nothing.

Nothing until this job.

Apparently it's a common thing for ex-military personnel, veterans, to find work in private security. Or at least that's what his minimal research told him. So that's what he quickly decided on.

Because most of his file ‘resume’, if not all of it was classified- instead of looking bare it looked impressive to the right eyes. Large black lines covered page after page after page. If he were trying to get a job at a bank, no way would he be hired, but depending on the person reading it- he appeared quite the hero.

He applied to twenty different positions and all twenty got back immediately wanting to hire him.

Choosing the right fit for him was admittedly easy. He didn't want to guard any elderly. He feared that that would be just as boring as doing nothing, and that condensed the list to just six. Then he realized that kids were probably also a nightmare but for the opposite reasons, and so that left two.

Then for the final decision, he did something very unprofessional – he flipped a coin.

He pulled his old silver corolla into the gates of a stunning residence. Bright flowers were blooming and he had never seen such a well manicured lawn.

He drove past the fountain on the circular driveway to the motor court. Or at least to what he assumed was the motor court. And since there were cars parked there, he felt fairly confident.

Din didn’t really get nervous. Since he was a boy he’d been put in extremely stressful situations and as an adult he was one of the few that didn’t sweat under pressure. But this had him…out of his element.

His car was a piece of junk, he wouldn’t lie. He had to tinker with it every other weekend. The air conditioning hadn’t worked in over a year. In his defense, this is the longest time he’s ever been stationary. And in the past he didn’t often even need his car. But as he passed all of the luxury vehicles with their fresh coat of wax, it made him a little self conscious.

A man in a black suit directed him to his parking spot, which was conveniently behind the garage where no one could see it. He honestly didn’t even blame them.

He was led to the front of the home and all of the sculptures and columns seemed somehow even more massive up close.

When he entered the home Din felt a trickle of sweat roll down his back as he looked around. There were chandeliers of crystal, floors of marble, and two grand staircases. It was impressive.

He had been in mansions before. His assignments had him go to many different locations but it was his first time standing in one without an urgent objective. He could just look around and admire his surroundings.

“Ah there he is.” Frank came in and offered his hand, “Frank Stevenson.”

“Din Djarin,” Din shook his hand firmly.

“It’s impressive isn’t it?” He looked around the grand foyer.

“Yes it is.”

“Don’t worry, a detailed floor plan is in your room.”

“My room?” Din questioned.

“Yes, surely I mention it?”

“Um, no sir you didn’t.” He stayed calm as usual, but he didn’t like being misled. He hadn’t planned on living here. He hadn’t even brought a change of clothes.

“Well if a pay raise is in order I’m sure the senator won’t mind—”

“That won’t be necessary. I just wasn’t expecting to live here.”

“Just while her parents are away. You see we work for the senator, we go where she goes and soon she’ll be hitting the campaign trail. You are the only one in charge of her daughter so it’s non negotiable. You have to stay here when we are gone. I hope that’s not a dealbreaker for you. It would be an honor to have you.”

“Her father?”

“He’ll be in Europe with his art.”

Din looked around, considering for a moment, “I suppose there are worse places to have to live.”

Frank laughed, “Very true. I’m glad to have you on. Follow me.”

He showed him around and made comfortable small talk, then said, “We will need a code name for you.”

“Mando is the code name I normally go by.”

“Mando it is. Highly impressive.”

“Thanks.” Din turned his head away, not interested in talking about his past, and continued walking.

When they finally made it to Din’s room he opened the door and showed him in.

The room felt larger than his whole apartment. Strangely enough the first thing he noticed was how tall the ceiling was, and that he loved how it was lit. Then his eyes slowly scanned downward and looked at the rest of the room.

Almost everything was a shade of gray except for three orange pillows on the bed. Speaking of, the bed was probably a king but he couldn’t tell the difference, with two bedside tables on either side. Both had a couple of books on them, one he noticed had been bookmarked. There was a large mirror on the wall facing the bed. It also had a private bathroom and massive walk-in closet.

“Sorry, no window. But you are next door to the dungeon so that'll be convenient.”

“Dungeon?” His eyes slightly widened as he looked at Frank.

“Oh-” he almost bent over laughing, he said your name “when she was younger that’s what she called it. It’s the observation room.”

“I see,” Din almost smirked.

You got back from your walk later than anticipated. You were sweaty because your anxiety made your pace quicker than normal- at a few points it may or may not have turned into a full on sprint.

You were still tense and pissed but it was much more manageable.

Looking at the time you realized he’d be here any minute. You moved quickly, turning the corner without looking, and ran straight into a brick wall.

It took you far too long to regain your composure, you knew you looked like a deer in the headlights. You looked him up and down. Your eyes roamed without your consent. You were just taken by surprise, he was very handsome. “Oh excuse me.”

He said your name in question and quickly glanced at your sweat covered body.

“Yes?” You were getting pretty embarrassed now. You wished he’d give you at least thirty minutes to shower, put on flattering clothes, and maybe apply some mascara and then give this a redo.

“I’m your bodyguard,” he smiled.

“Oh shit, no.”

----------

[stopisa]

worse before it gets better ch.2

[ ushijima wakatoshi x reader ]

summary - everything was going great but all it takes is one day to ruin it all. trust lost in love struggles to heal.

• cw: suggestive and foul language, gaslighting, cheating

• a/n: almost a year later here’s ch.2, i got busy with college but now that i’ve graduated i have a lot more time!

• pls give this love on ao3

• read chapter 1 here

You stand there in the doorway, staring at the wall behind him, not daring to look him in the eyes. Why the fuck is he here? Didn’t he say he was busy today? Despite what you told Tendou earlier about confronting him, the reality was you really weren’t ready for it. Semi actually showing up just had to make things so much harder.

“Sooo…are you gonna let me in or are we just gonna stand here all day?”

Snapping out of your trance you respond, “Oh! Yeah…sorry.”

He steps inside and turns to face you as the door closes. “How’s my pretty girl been today? Taking it easy I see.” He nods his head over to your setup on the bed.

“Weren’t you supposed to be busy today?” irritation lacing your words. You were never the best at hiding what you felt.

“Woah, what’s the hostility? I can’t come visit my girlfriend?”

‘Girlfriend?’ you think. How funny.

“Well, you said yourself we couldn’t hang today, I assumed you were busy doing other things.” emphasizing the last part in your tone.

Semi goes to sit in your desk chair and lets out a sigh, “ M’kay, what’s with the attitude? Is it that time of the month? Or are you still pissed off about yesterday? Y’know, I have other things I need to do besides just being with you.”

That’s it. Your frustration has boiled over and you didn’t care about whatever came out of your mouth next.

“Yeah, no, like the bitch you fucked last night?” Your intense glare burns through him.

The room goes silent. Not a sound is heard for seconds that felt like years.

He scoffs. “What are you talking about? I was in my room alone all night.”

“Bullshit, Tendou told me he saw a girl leave the room last night. A girl from your fucking class.” Your eye twitches from the anger.

Semi rolls his eyes, “Yes, and? She needed help on the assignment, nothing more.”

“Are you serious?! Tendou also told me he saw the condom in the trash. Stop lying to me!” Throat going dry from the yelling.

“Do you actually believe anything Tendou tells you? You know that guy is high off his ass every fucking day, he was just seeing things. Better yet, who knows? Maybe he told you all this to get you to leave me so you could get with him, I see how you two talk. Wouldn’t be surprised if that was his intention.”

You can’t believe what you were hearing. Is he seriously trying to play the victim?

Your hands come up to slide over your head in an effort to cool down, “You’re seriously gonna gaslight me like this?”

Semi gets up from the desk chair and looks at you with a mocking expression, “Gaslight? That’s a big word, you sure you know what it means?

The. Absolute. Audacity. He really went there. His pride is so big that he really went there. Where was the man you met in the library all those months ago? You didn’t know the person standing in front of you. At least you didn’t want to believe it was him.

“Y’know, I should’ve seen this coming a while ago. All the canceled plans for the past month, not hearing from you for hours on end, how distant you got last night after I told you I wasn’t comfortable having sex yet. How could I be so stupid?”

“Oh please, y/n. Boohoo. Not the ‘woe is me’ gimmick.” he spat back.

“Woe is me! I gave up so much of my time to be with you only to find out it was all for what? For you to go and betray my trust? Did I ever mean anything to you?!” Your ears were ringing.

“Yeah at first you did, before I knew I was signing up to be with a fucking prude.” his words were like venom. They made their way through your ears and into your heart.

Tears were forming in your eyes, making your vision blurry but for the sake of not giving him the satisfaction of seeing you, you look down. Your voice painfully cracks, “We’re done…get the fuck out of my room.”

“Are you kidding me? You’re gonna get all hurt over something that never-”

“I said get the fuck out of my room!”

“Tch.” Semi walks to the door, grabs the handle, and takes a moment to look back at you. “Get over it. Soon you’ll realize you got mad over some dumb shit and just end up coming back.” and with that, he slams the door.

Your heart felt like it was going to burst out of your chest. You take a moment to regulate your breathing.

Walking back to your bed you throw yourself on top of it, face smushed into the pillow. A sob chokes out, followed by several others. You choose to let it all out for about 20 minutes.

Pillow soaked from where your face was, you get up to wipe the tears, grabbing a tissue to blow your nose. You stand in front of your mirror, staring at the puffy-eyed, red-nosed individual.

‘I’m not a prude…I just needed time.’ you think.

‘Why the hell would he say such things?’

Something sparks within you during your internal dialogue.

‘No…he’s full of shit. I’ll prove him wrong.’

You go back to your bed, grabbing your phone to remove all pictures of him from your social media and change your status. He is no longer welcome in your life and you’ll make damn sure of it.

You walk out of the shower to find the mirror fogged up. Hand wiping down the steam to reveal a refreshed figure, a contrast to how you were just an hour ago. A sad smile on your face in reaction to the minor improvement of your state. Your phone reads ‘4 pm’ when a message comes through from Tendou,

‘Hey so, earlier today Semi came back and kicked the trash can across the room. Did it happen?’

Sighing through your nose, you pick up your phone to answer.

‘he just showed up at my door, i ended up blurting it all out. not pretty.

‘Geez. I’m sorry. I’m on my way to Ushijima’s place but we can meet up somewhere stop if you’d like.’

All too quickly you replied ‘please’.

“No fucking way he said all that to you!” Tendou’s auburn eyes were wide in shock after you told him what went down.

“Yeah so needless to say he’s no longer welcome in my life 'cause at least I have that bare minimum standard set” You let out a huff of air from your nose and look down at the coke that by now had been watered by the ice. How did your life become so shitty over the span of 24hrs? You chewed on your bottom lip as you were lost in thought, thinking of ways to fix this. Should you get back together? Download a dating app? Start looking into hookups? Drop out and run away forever? Yea, these all sounded like things a sane person would do.

Tendou clears his throat, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Thanks for sharing all this with me. Y’know it’s not easy being vulnerable, especially when the wound is still this fresh.” You offer a smile in response, “Thanks for listening.”

Walking out of the dining hall, you feel the cold air hitting your face, reminding you of that night all over again. All too naive. All too oblivious.

Spinning on his heels towards you, “Hey, so I’m going over to Ushijima’s to say hi…aaand lowkey avoid my roommate. wanna tag along?”

“No, I shouldn’t. Don’t even know him, Tori. Not sure if he’d like unknown guests this late too.”

“Pfft. Don’t be ridiculous, he may not look like it but he likes meeting new people.”

You soon found yourself standing in front of a door that read “Wakatoshi”, a very tall man lets you both in, and you give a quiet wave, he simply nods his head. While removing your shoes, you take in his room. Simple decor, a few medals hung on the wall, two very healthy plants on his window, and his homework spread across his desk. He sported a white t-shirt that clung just tight enough on his chest and black gym shorts. ‘Handsome.’ you smugly thought to yourself.

“Hey buddy! This is my friend y/n, she’s great and kinda getting over a breakup right where her boyfriend, i guess ex now ‘cause he totally cheated on her cause i saw-.” You look at Tendou with wide eyes as if to shut him up with your glare, getting the message he shut up. Feeling shitty about the introduction you look at the floor to avoid Ushijima’s piercing green stare. “I’m sorry you had to experience that, hope you feel better soon.” Surprised by his empathy but you thank him.

You allow the two friends to talk, well, it was mostly Tendou carrying the conversation while his massive friend would respond in “mhm”. Trying to entertain yourself, you glance at the surroundings again, landing on the homework at his desk, recognizing the textbook immediately.

“Ah so you’re in Dr. Melendez’s Spanish Literature class! I took that two semesters ago, great time. How’re you liking it?”

The athlete’s eyebrows raise before his expression relaxes, “I’m taking it for my humanities requirement, but I do find myself struggling..”

“I’d be more than happy to help you whenever you need it,” this statement was genuinely true considering that you did so well in that class that the professor recommended you to become a tutor for his course at the tutoring and writing center at the university. You did have to politely decline since you were already working at the library and the payout wasn’t worth it.

Much to your surprise the smallest of smiles appears on Ushijima’s face, “Actually I would like that. I could compensate you well for your time.” Tendou’s head continues to move as he follows the conversation with the most shit-eating grin. Cheeks mildly darker from embarrassment, you put your hands up in front of you, “No, no. Don’t worry, I’ll do just do it for free, glad to help a friend of a f-”

“Don’t be so humble, it’s your time. I’d expect the same if I was in this position. Does $50 an hour sound reasonable? I’d be willing to negotiate.”

Almost choking on the sip from your emotional support water bottle, you look at him for a split second as if he grew a second head. Ready to decline the offer and return to your pushover ways your thoughts freeze. ‘This is your chance at another job’, your worries of bland dining hall food and begging for people on Reddit to give you PDFs of pirated textbooks slowly fade away. Maybe it had the potential to even help you forget some of the bullshit that went down early today. “Wow, um, yea no that’s perfect. W-when would you like to start?”

Pleased with your answer he replies, “I would prefer as soon as possible to ensure I stay ahead with the course work. Perhaps this Monday?”

As the two of you continue your interaction of exchanging numbers and arranging a place to meet, Tendou maintains his smug grin.

[riseofamoonycake]

Butch x gn!reader? Pretty please❤️

I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! A REQUEST WITH BUTCH, WHAT A DREAM! THIS IS THE BEST GIFT I COULD RECEIVE, SO THANK YOU ANON! 😭❤️‍🔥

Ahem, let’s be serious and gooo!

Thank you to @praisethesuuun for the idea of a dressmaker reader eheheheh ♥️

Don’t Treat Me Like A Doll!

🪡Pairing: Butch Cassidy x Dressmaker!gn reader

🪡Warnings: light mention of NSFW

🪡

«I can't believe it, there’s a hole here too! How do you get your clothes in this state? You’re like a child, even worse!»

«You better watch your work! It’s already the third time you’ve stung yourself… in the space of five minutes!»

You shift your gaze from the shirt in your lap and glare at the young man sitting at your feet and staring at you with feline eyes, then you grimace and stick out your tongue. «Stop it, it’s you who makes me nervous!»

«Oh, yes? Strange, last night you moaned different words⁓»

«BUTCH CASSIDY! BEHAVE YOURSELF AND STAY DOWN, WE ARE WORKING!»

In response, the young man bursts out laughing and hugs your legs, resting his chin against them while he doesn’t give up contemplating you for a moment, then he kisses both your knees. «Okay, okay… as you command!»

The heat of his bare arms against your body overcomes the barrier of the fabric and a shiver runs down your spine, yet you manage to maintain your concentration… at least a little. Even though it is never easy to hide something from Butch, and you know this from long experience by now; for this reason, you clear your throat and try to change the subject. «Aren’t you cold? There are clothes if you want. There is no need for you to remain in this state.»

«Hmm… but the only dresses I see are those for the ladies and customers of your shop! What, do you want me to put on a corset? Or a skirt?»

You burst out laughing, amused by the scene that just passed before your eyes, so you sink a hand into his hair and caress it gently, lingering on each lock. «Even a hat… and then you’ll have makeup on!»

Butch widens his eyes in surprise, then makes a face of annoyance that fails to hide a certain fear. He is usually never afraid, but there with you, surrounded by weapons and instruments of torture that can be used against him at any moment and without any mercy, he must be cautious. «Well no! No makeup! I’m not a doll! And I don’t want to wear your clothes!»

You giggle again, smirk as you lean in and tap his nose with a finger, slowly and seductively. «Oh, so… so I will never be able to see you dressing in one of my creations? Sigh… and to think that you would be a perfect model…»

This time it is Cassidy who giggles, narrowing his eyes just like a cat, and you tilt your head, batting your eyelashes. «… At least for once. Come on! Only once!»

«No. And when I say no, it’s no.»

«Pleaseeee! Only for this time! Only one dress, and no makeup!»

«Y/N, don’t joke…»

You purse your lips and make a pleading expression. «I beg you! Make me happy… just once, I promise!»

Your gazes stick to each other, locking each other forcefully, neither of you seems willing to give in on your positions...

… And yet, in the end, someone has to do it.

«Hurry, please. And woe betide you if you go and tell anyone about all this, or your ass will be in for an intense fifteen minutes.»

You smile at that threat, and in response you tighten the belt around Butch’s hips even more, and then squeeze them. «And I could like this⁓», you whisper in his ear, placing a ribbon around his forearms, trying not to blush in the meantime and constantly wetting your lips. As you predicted, your clothes fit too well on the young man’s body, even if you feel a little pity for those poor buttons on his chest, which do everything they can to resist and not pop off; but you can’t help but clap your hands when you finish arranging the skirt and your eyes light up with pride and veneration. «Perfect! Now spin yourself around!»

Cassidy sighs, then obeys; and you hug his neck and kiss him all over his face, enthusiastic. «You are beautiful, you know that? Thank you so much for listening to me⁓»

«Ouch! Your needles―»

«Oops, sorry! Ehehe», you break away with a laugh, which lasts until you notice his gaze. «… What’s up? Don't tell me you’re angry!»

«Angry? No… and yet, you still have to pay⁓»

You stare at him in surprise, seeing him turn to look at the clothes you created, and after a long moment choose a corset. Then, he turns towards you again with his unmistakable grin and sly gaze, which doesn’t let anything escape. Revenge is in the air. «Matching outfits? You know… I can’t wait to see how you can breathe with this on⁓»

And it is you, now, who begins to fear ― and at the same time, to desire.

[lizardrosen]

To Be Contracted In One Brow of Woe

part one, part two, part three

@cleverclove @moonlarked @paysomeonetopaysomeone @gabriel-shutterson, come get your sad dads!

One Monday Polonius comes into work looking so hunched and pale that Claudius has to do a double take. “Man, you look awful. Still not over that cold that went around last week? Hamlet would have let you call in sick, you know that…”

“No.” His voice is hollow, like a stone dropped in a dark well. “No, I’m not the one who—” He can’t even finish whatever he was going to say.

“…Oh.” It takes him another second to grasp just what those words could mean. “Oh, god.” He’s on his feet before he knows it. “Let’s go to my office. There’s a lock on the door, for privacy, and a liquor cabinet if that’s something you need.”

“Yes to both,” says Polonius with visible relief. His face does something like a smile but far enough from the real thing to make Claudius’s heart twist.

He doesn’t even check if Claudius has fully locked the door before he drops into one of the armchairs and puts his head in his hands. His shoulders begin to shake but he makes so little sound it’s hard to believe he’s sobbing. It is unthinkable that someone as expansive as Polonius could look so small and helpless, and yet his grief is huge.

He reaches out to touch his friend’s back but curls his fingers back because that might be exactly the wrong thing. Instead he reaches for a tumbler and a bottle of the whiskey he knows Polonius favors. For a little bit the room contains only the sounds of glass and ice and another man’s tears. When he looks remotely in a state to answer questions, Claudius clears his throat to get his attention.

“First off, did anyone die? You would have called one of us, right?” He’s struck by a thought that chills his blood. “Polonius. Please tell me you’re not here trying to get work done right after losing someone.” Polonius looks up and it hurts to meet his eyes or his trembling lip, but Claudius doesn’t flinch. “Shit. Sorry. Letting my mouth run away with me.” Normally they take turns helping each other keep it together depending which of them is overreacting, and that’s what makes them such a good team. Right now, with Polonius crying almost too hard to speak, Claudius ought to be the calm force, but he just keeps talking nonsense because otherwise he will fall entirely apart. “Here.” He hands over the glass and Polonius swallows half of it in one go. “Now, what happened?”

“It looked like a cold, or the flu at worst, so everyone stayed home on Friday and got the sleep and fluids we needed… but Saturday night, Caroline just couldn’t stop coughing, couldn’t even catch her breath. It’s an awful reason to wake your children at almost midnight; to tell them you’re taking their mother to the hospital, but I couldn’t just leave them with a neighbor, not if that was the last time…”

Claudius finishes his drink and pours them both another before he finally sits down. “Is she — I mean, what happened?”

“Well, she’s stable for now. They think it’s pneumonia and want to keep her for observation. I’m… I’m scared, Claudius.”

“Who could blame you? I’d be scared too.”

“There’s fluid in my Carro’s lungs, and she was always the best of me.”

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short; I’ve seen you do incredible things.”

“Ah, but you’ve never known me without her. I used to be…” He shakes his head ruefully. “Well, a lot more closed minded than I am now, a lot more set in my ways.”

“Oh really?” he teases. “I can’t imagine you being stubborn and convinced you know the best approach to everything.” He doesn’t know if distraction is the best thing here, but it’s all he can think of right now.

It seems to work because Polonius gives half a chuckle. “No, that’s just about personal conduct and routine, but there were people I didn’t consider people until Caroline got me talking about why I thought that way and I realized I didn’t have a reason. I could have made the world a worse place if she didn’t catch me at just the right point in life. I have that power.”

“Then it’s incredible that you were able to listen and learn how you did. I mean it, don’t sell yourself short, because not everyone can do that.”

“Yes, and not everyone meets the love of their life, someone worth changing for. She… she’s got this lock of hair that always escapes and curves against her cheek, and the most beautiful laugh, and she knows how to follow my thought process — we both know how much skill that takes.” His face crumples again. “But god, oh god, what if I never hear that laugh again? It racks her whole body when she does, and all I want is to make her smile, but I can’t stand to hurt her.”

“Oh, Polonius, I’m so sorry.” He sets down his glass and spreads his arms. “Come here,” he says, and Polonius stumbles into his hug. With his friend’s face pressed into his chest, Claudius feels his own eyes well up, and it becomes hard to tell who’s holding whom.

“It’s going to be okay,” he says as he finally lets go, and he prays he’s telling the truth.

[elpida]

drabble - cade&eden - a firm telling. @wiinestories

"What can I do for you Eden." he sighed as he opened the door. He hadn't slept and he looked like shit for it too, she wasn't going to back down, she was on a mission, clear from the way she stormed into his apartment. "Get up. Get in the shower. Smarten yourself up." she instructed him with a firmness in her voice that she never used. "No." here it came, the argument, the shit storm that Cade was going to need. "Cade get up and get yourself sorted the damn hell out because you look like.. like crap honestly, you need a shower, you need to smarten yourself up to go see Agatha." her voice held so much firmness to it, don't leave room to manoeuvre.. maybe she had learned how to be a bit braver from Angelo.

"She doesn't want to see me Eden." he grumbled, head hanging and she threw her bag onto the kitchen island to move over to him and pull at his arm to try and get him up. Her own arm was in a sling, she was meant to be taking it easy, resting up, she wasn't meant to be straining like that, but Cade stood up so she'd stop. "Stop it, fuckin' pack it in I'm not going. It'll stress her out too much to have me there, she asked me to fuckin' go!" he raised his voice and before he knew it he was shouting. "You know I fucked up too so just admit it! I can admit it with damn open arm-" Eden shouted. Eden never shouted like that, but she wasn't about to feel like the bad guy for helping Agatha and checking up on him and his woe is me story right now. "Get your shit together Cade! What, you think I'm frightened because you raised your voice? I can raise my damn voice too! You owe her more than sitting here feeling sorry for yourself! you fucked up, you really fucked up, big wow, get back there and fix it and show her you'd never hurt her, that you'd never put her in danger, show her that you adore her, it is obvious to me, it's obvious to everyone!" she breathed heavily with how passionate she was getting, her finger pointed.

"Oh so we're okay to completely dodge Angelo in this conversation are we? We're not gonna talk about you being with him when I warned you about him? Hell I warned her not to look into him and you're what, you're with him? You're fucking with me here Eden you can't be serious." she kept her frown, her stance. "Keep him out of it." she wanted to sound more threatening than she did. "Keep him out of it, he had his hand on Agatha's neck and you defend him?" his fist slammed into his coffee table with that pent up angry. "You've every right to be angry but he didn't know, you know why I defend him? We both know damn well you'd watch the rest of the world burn for Agatha if that is what he took and he-" Cade stopped her. "You really think that's what you are to him Eden? Christ." he ran his hands up over his face and through his hair. "Eden you're his whore.. there 'aint a nicer word for it. Men like Angelo don't care for girls like you, he'll have his fun then when he gets what he wants that's it, he'll wash his hands of you n' you will be heartbroken." he gestured his hands out, as if to say he was trying to help her, but it wasn't helpful.

"I am not here to talk about Angelo, I'm here to make you see sense because you should be there with her. You should be pleading for her to forgive you, yes you have a part to blame because you should have told her what you get involved with and that you're not a text book lawful good boy the minute things became comfortable with Agatha. You should have told her what she was getting involved with, he never lied to me and I've known who he is all along but Agatha has to find out through all of this that you do off record work for bad people and by the way, the people that attacked my bakery? They weren't there because of me, they weren't there because of Angelo, they were there looking for you so don't dare start talking like what you've done is any better than the things he does." Suddenly Cade sank down for that anger. "What? They... no, no 'coz that.. that makes it-" his fault. She knew the words that'd come next and guilt was flooding his chest. "I didn't know, Eden I didn't know.." she moved forward to shush him, her hands on his arms.

"What's done is done.. what's done is done, but nobody can forgive you for it if you don't try, okay? Agatha needs you to try, your baby needs you to go there and try and you're better than this okay?" she pointed her hand down to the alcohol. He hung his head shamefully and as angry as she was at him, Cade had been there for her countless times, she wrapped her arms around him and he did the same. "I didn't mean for her to get hurt- not her, not the baby not you nothin', I 'aint in the market for hurting people." he sighed heavily and she patted his back. "I know Cade, I know that but I need you to hear me.. okay? You're a good man.. you are, so go and be a good man, show her she's your world, please." she paused, leaning back to run her hands up and down her friends arms. "Ben wouldn't want to see you deny yourself your own happiness, Cade."

"What do I even say to her? I can't begin to..." his shoulders slump down, he shrugs, he had no idea how to be the better man really. Eden reached for his collar to fold it, straighten him up. "You have a shower, you put your nice shirt on, you sort out your hair and have a shave, you buy her flowers and then you start with sorry. A heartfelt sorry, you tell her exactly what she means to you, you tell her you were an idiot and you tell her the whole truth, you explain it, and you never lie to her again and you pray that she thinks you're worth the chance. Okay?" she nodded her head, waiting for him to nod his head with her. "You don't do it for me, you don't do it for Ben or even yourself, you do it because you're a better man, you're a good man." he nodded in agreement, he swallowed his pride, he agreed. "Which ones my nice shirt?" he smiled softly. "Navy one, with the nice pattern on it it, the really discreet one, make sure the collars straightened up."

She pulled back, going over for her bag and then he took a deep breath. "Eden." she stilled. "Cade we don't need to talk about him anymore." she knew it was coming, that he'd not be able to leave it and god she wanted him to just drop it because she didn't want to be mad at him anymore. "I wouldn't be a good friend to your brother if I didn't try 'coz Eden, that man isn't right for you." he started. "Cade-" he interrupted. "I love you kiddo, for coming here, talkin' sense into me but..." kiddo. Kiddo was that stupid thing he'd call her when she used to tag along with her brother, when she was the quiet little sister at their side. "..but Ben wouldn't want you with him either Eden. Ben wouldn't want his little sister being some sold out whore to Angelo fucking Santino, love. I get it the influence he is, how that can seem fun for a while, that he might seem different but he's gonna let you down. You'll get hurt in all this."

Eden picked up her coat and started to walk, turning to him as she did. "Yeah? Ben would've beat the shit out of you for calling me that." she had tears in her eyes. She'd done her part. "Hey- Eden, no no I didn't mean like-" she walked. "Eden!" he called but she was done. She wanted to help Cade, she had, he was going to go to Agatha, but he owed her an apology. He flicked open his wallet, he kept a picture of Sophia.. it'd been there years, but he also in the back tucked away had a picture of him and his best friend back from their youth, just being idiots together. He touched his fingers over it before looking skyward. "Your sisters bitin' off more than she can chew tough guy, but Ben you'd have made a hell of a godfather." he nodded, just once, like her Brother would hear that he was trying.

He showered, aftershave, that smart navy shirt, he even went and bought the best flowers he could find. He had some making up to do, so early afternoon Cade rasped his knuckles on the hospital rooms door and stood with pink and white roses. "Agatha? I want to start by saying that I'm sorry, and if you'd give me a single chance, I'd like to try n' explain.. if you'd let me 'coz you're fuckin' everything to me and I don't want to lose what we've got, 'coz I was a damn idiot."

[justanotherrpmeme]

Mendings, Major and Minor

" I'm not going to do anything to her. ” “ I thought you would erase her memory or something... again. ” “ So she's just gonna get away with it? ” “ I'm not the magic police. ” “ They won't be back here. They know what'll rain down on them if they do. ” “ What they do out there, it's not my business; it's not yours. Do you understand? ” “ Next time, you will not be so lucky. ” “ Life ain't fair. Woe is you. ” “ Now, please, leave before she sees you here. ” “ I know you feel that you've had to leave, but I'd really like you to come back. ” “ This is just one small corner of the world. ” “ There's a lot more out there to see, and I'd like you to see it. ” “ I was wrong. You are far too gifted not to be with us. ” “ Just come back for a week, and if you don't like it, then, please, by all means, be a farmhand. ” “ I specialize in feet. Broken bones, warts... ” “ Hi. I'm going to get a drink. ” “ I feel really terrible about, um... I just thought... ” “ I wouldn't be standing here talking to me if I were you. ” “ Can anybody hear me? Anybody? Anybody? ” “ Yeah, I didn't ask for a mentor. I don't give a shit. ” “ There's no discipline that has more power and possibility. ” “ It's a terrible, life-destroying burden. ” “ Lost my leg to frostbite. I'd be dead if not for one deeply confused Sherpa. ” “ Travelers' training wheels. Your body stays here; your mind travels. It's like being a ghost. ” “ Meditating won't stop you from having a wet dream and waking up in the Marianas Trench. ” “ It works by binding your body to Earth. ” “ Won't make the voices go away, but it might keep you alive. ” “ There aren't enough noble quests to go around. ” “ How am I supposed to impress anyone? ” “ It's a game designed a billion years ago to keep students from killing each other in duels. ” “ It's like chess. Kind of. Not really. ” “ I don't know. That sounds kind of fun. ” “ There's gonna be a tournament. ” “ It's supposed to be a surprise, but I like ruining things. ” “ Well, luckily there are some treatment options, some, uh, really interesting new therapies. ” “ Um, do you... Uh, do you feel sick? ” “ Eh, there was some dizziness, headaches. ” “ I never see you anymore since you went to this new school. ” “ Thinking a lot about mistakes, you know, things I would do differently. ” “ I couldn't sit through one more card trick, but if that's what makes the world bearable to you, then you go off and do card tricks. ” “ Don't try to be something you're not. ” “ You're studying what now? Finance? ” “ You know you're still on my insurance, right? ” “ You checked yourself into a mental hospital a couple of months ago. ” “ I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, son. ” “ I'm just trying to... fix what I broke. ” “ We're friends, right? Uh, I was wondering if you could do me a tiny favor. ” “ I just feel deeply that we are connected and are meant to work together. ” “ Hey. Sorry, I'm a little early. I knocked a couple times. ” “ You have no idea how relieved I am to see you like this. ” “ I was gonna put it a bit more delicately than that. ” “ We need to go to the hospital. ” “ There are treatments available. I chose not to pursue them. ” “ I don't want you to die. ” “ I can give you the names of some journal articles. ” “ What you're looking for might be impossible, and it will require far more energy than you can muster. ” “ I love you. Oh... you baked. ” “ You can have one, if you think you can afford it. ” “ There's a whole world of things besides this. ” “ I almost burned down my apartment, and all I can think about is trying it again. ” “ Your boyfriend could have done this for you. ” “ You know, a beautiful girl calls you in the middle of the night, never mind she's a little intense... ” “ You're late, and this is mandatory! ” “ If you get any one of them wrong, the whole thing goes to hell. ” “ One spell so powerful, it wiped the whole board. ” “ You know, why can't it run on... love... or cocaine or something? ” “ It's the universe deep-dicking us. Lie back and try and enjoy it. ” “ Well, if you know so much, why don't you show us? ” “ Hmm, well... Could start by stealing me a sandwich. ” “ It's not their fault that they're the tortoise and you're the hare. They're not even in the race. ” “ Look, you want something better, get out of town; go to where the talent is. ” “ You slept with me two days ago. ” “ That's a pretty loose fucking definition of love. ” “ He doesn't know the most important thing about you. ” “ Please help me. Please come for me. Please help. ” “ I didn't know what happened to her. I figured she was dead. ” “ You're supposed to be my fucking mentor. ” “ What the hell do you want from me? ” “ You're the one who saw her, and it's not my problem. ” “ My advice? Get that tattoo as soon as possible. ” “ I have so much to teach you about drinking. ” “ It's a three-year program. Graduate level. It begins immediately. ” “ Mm. How may I help you, sir? ” “ He's sort of our unofficial mascot. ” “ But you didn't listen, did you? ” “ You can even save someone's life, but you might alter their soul in the process. ” “ We can fix some things. So we fix what we can. ” “ You need to leave now. You're pathetic. ” “ What is this, some sort of sick revenge because I wouldn't screw you again? ” “ You want to stand on our shoulders, and you haven't, not once, taken any of our advice. ” “ Honestly... What do you care about? ” “ I don't know. I'm still figuring that out. ” “ Well, then this is the perfect place to be. ” “ Get ready for the first spanking you won't enjoy. ” “ That's actually kind of hot. ” “ Helps if you hold a pleasant image in mind, such as a baby, if you tolerate those. ”