#storytime lol

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

okay so idk if i've mentioned it here yet, but for the last few weeks at least, someone has been stealing the stickers off my locker at school. okay, yes, by now they're self-drawn scraps of paper, but my point still stands.

now, we've been having some sort of fight. i put new stickers up. within the next week or so, they tear them off again.

at some point, i was absolutely fed up. i left challenging to angry and rude stickers specifically addressing the sticker thief.

now, yesterday, i found my "sticker thief fuck off" sticker ripped up and taped to my locker with some dark blue pencil handwriting on it. me and a couple others have all been trying to decipher it ("your [?] is in the bin sticker" or something? your annoying stickers are in the bin? your new [?] is in the bin sticker???? well the meaning got across). additionally, i found A Number of my stickers spread over various other lockers in the same hallways as mine, randomly, partially upside-down

since yesterday, since i got an answer and the thief had the fucking balls to spread my stickers around and throw some away AGAIN, STILL, this hasn't left me any peace. especially since today they were scattered again, and one on the fucking clock (my friend helped me get up there and put it back onto my locker).

i am past being livid. i am annoyed beyond comprehension. i will keep this up for my remaining time at this school and i have started mass producing some of my stickers to stash them in my locker and immediately replace those missing, but i'm tired of it, too. i don't fucking want to do this. who the fuck thinks this is funny and why don't they just get a fucking hobby.

driven by a growing unrest, despite no need to, i go to my locker during a shorter break.

guess what i hear.

"we have to put them higher up, she's small"

OKAAY I AM LISTENING. ever since yesterday i've been eyeing everyone around these lockers with great suspicion. i am tense and tired and fucking done.

"i put one on the switch back there", accompanied by giggling.

i go the few steps and whaddya know, my 161 sticker.

MOTHERFUCKERS. the sticker thieves have been identified--two girls, a few years younger than me. those. spoilt. brats. and i have more choice words for them. i'm the bigger person tho. i literally just want my stickers.

i am also wholly unprepared for a confrontation, though my next plan of action was to demand one. still, i'm absolutely garbage with faces and I JUST HEARD THEM i have to take this chance.

so i step right up and ask them if they're the ones who keep stealing my stickers. now, in the following conversation, i probably could have been more secure in myself or whatever but just the fact that i'm talking to them and i know seems to be intimidating. at least while i feel caught off guard, i do feel in the position of more power in this conversation, if not by much.

they pull the ol' "it was just a joke." well guess what. i don't think it's funny. keep your hands off other peoples' lockers. they started just talking with each other quietly and i glared and eventually left. i hope just the fact that a direct confrontation has happened is enough to keep them the fuck away.

if not, by god, i will search the entire goddamn school building until i recognise them and leave a nice big message on that one girls' locker with super glue. i know which one it is.

i won't do anything more if they let me be. i have enough problems going on. just this caught me on the wrong foot today and for some reason (we're gonna blame puberty and hormones) that had me scrambling for composure once i got away and i don't want to drag it out more than necessary.

but fuck those girls. seriously. i hope they get a fucking hobby and some bloody manners. and hurray to being at the right place at the right time and, hopefully, an end to this week-long fight over my stickers.

[marionfantasy]

Sometimes i remember certain shows and when i bringt it up to the friend,you dont know the amount of sheer joy,shits and giggles i feel when having to explain the shows asburd plot.

Like just the other day in discord i was explaining to a friend an old anime called brave command dagwon,and i was telling them that space cop aliens are a thing and that in that show theres a floating space prison and how the prisoners rioted and took over and tried to take over earth,how there was one episode that had space ant aliens who tried to colonize the earth.

What was more absurd and shocking to them was when i explain that the space alien ants were criminals and they went like:

Friend:"i...they were criminals?"

Me:"yes ess they were criminals"

Friend:"but they were...ants?"

Me:"yep"

And the best part was when they were sarcastically like " ofc there are"when i explained gunkid and lain and how the one could transform into a giant sized robot hand gun and the other an ovesized robot sword

[fiddlstyx]

sometimes i wonder if i showed signs of being trans as a kid but then i remember that when i was younger i thought it was completely unrealistic when a fictional character said their own name because i could barely stand saying my deadname

i can now say my name like the funky 2010s cartoon character i was meant to be :)

[xiaq]

Storytime

There's this kid that I see a couple times a week walking past our house in the afternoons (usually around the time I walk Deacon after work). He's 10-12 yrs old and he's always pushing one of those jogging strollers with a 2-3yr old kid inside. Bucket hats. Sunglasses. Snow suits. Whatever the weather, they're always kitted out appropriately. And sometimes they're having cute conversations as they pass by. I've never seen an adult with them.

Today, we were out in the yard and the toddler saw Deacon so the older kid asked if they could stop and say hi to him through the fence, and of course that was fine. I told the older one I thought it was cool he took his little brother out for walks so often and he said with 0 tact and 100% confidence, "Well mom said I had to take [ baby brother] or the dog for a walk every day and I don't have to pick up [baby brother]'s poop, so."

The baby brother found this fact uproariously funny (or maybe just the word 'poop,' hard to tell).

[dear-ao3]

Question for the mods....

HOW IN THE FUCK DID YOU MEET???

Like what???

How??

I am so god damn curious about you two. I wanna study yall under a microscope lol

Also ngl kinda envious of how close of friends you two seem to be. (Being an introverted shy af mofo sucks lmao)

I would actually probably read a whole ass book or watch a sitcom or something of the seemingly ever present weird-ass shit that seems to happen on a day-by-day basis.

/gen /lh /nf /pos

2018 newsies fandom. we weren't overly close but we bonded over race and albert a little and then katya dropped off the face of the earth for about a year.

during 2020 lockdown we both independently got into the witcher fandom and somehow ran into eachother again and had the fingers pointing OH MY GOD Y O U !!! moment in our dms. we bonded over hating jaskier. during this time we realized we were both dancers and katya was looking at dance colleges, i was already in college for dance and since it was lockdown and we couldn't go anywhere i told katya my experience auditioning at places to give him a good idea of places. and then i broke every internet safety rule known to man and said hey what if you had applied to my college but didnt know it?? and then one thing led to another and i dished out all the tea on my school. (only After that did we face reveal and give eachother our names lol) and then katya applied. mostly as a joke. until it wasnt a joke because that school gave katya a shit load of money and actually had stuff katya wanted to do. katya ended up coming to one of my zoom ballet classes and it took everything we had to not loose our shit on camera.

during this time we mostly kept eachother sane in lockdown writing witcher fanfic, and sending eachother awful thirst traps on instagram to pitbull music. one of our awful bits was using the dilf filter to make bad frat boy edits.

come august of 2021 we both moved into college. the same college. in the same building. it was wild. i pinched myself several times in shock. we went on a walk around campus with some worms on strings and were like what the hell how did we get here.

we continued to hang out and did weird insane things together. we took a class on the french revolution together where i had to put up with katya and fennec awkwardly flirting (read: making finger guns at eachother).

and then, since i was 2 years older, i was graduating and was going to stay in the area for a job and was like hey. what if we got an apartment together? and then we did. several adults agreed to this. idk why they let us. but now we live together in a real life apartment and we haven't even killed eachother yet. neither of our parents know that we met online. each of them have a different fake story as to how we know eachother and we really just hope they are never in the same room long enough to ask eachother about it. but its insane. 12/10 would recommend.

katya wanted me to include old tumblr screenshots of us talking, heres what i found from circa 2020:

we've always been like this lol

and heres some ancient greatest hits from instagram, i dont have context and trust me you dont want it:

every now and then the two of us look at eachother and go. how the fuck did we end up here??? (we have no idea)

[chompe-diem]

hey. don't cry. audible smile in brian murphy's voice when he says "...but it's good when your friends look out for you" ok?

[flickering-nightfall]

ubemaster (they are ube colored to me)

[babykittenteach]

and though I close my eyes

[cyberpunkaddict]

"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly." - Langston Hughes

“I love you to the moon and back.”

Prologue, Part 1

[greg-montgomery]

can i request a fic where reader is a huge swiftie and now that 1989 TV has been released, reader is so excited and you're explaining to aaron about the songs, why taylor is re-recording (although aaron might have already known about it because he searched up taylor to keep up with your favorites because he knows how much you love taylor and her music and so he pretends he doesn't know because he can see just how excited you are to share your interest with him and he just looks at you with so much adoration as you react to the songs and talk with him 🥺💗) it could even be a pre-established relationship where he's just pining over reader, whatever you prefer to write!! if you don't want to write, then it's alright!! <33

“Hotch, you really don’t have to. I’ll be fine”

“No. I’m driving you home,” he argued, grabbing your jacket and handing it to you.

“But-”

“No buts,” he interrupted you. “I’m not letting you take the train, it’s raining.”

You gave up; partly, because he was stubborn and partly because you wanted nothing more than to be in the car alone with him.

The rain falling on the roof of his car wasn’t loud enough to cover the sound of the music that was coming from his radio. You didn’t recognize the song, but even if you did, you’d still have no interest in it. There were only a few very specific songs you wanted to listen to at that moment.

Aaron could probably see you staring at the radio, so you assumed that was the reason he made you an offer.

“You can play your songs if you want.”

“Do you really not mind?” you grinned, already opening your Spotify app.

“Of course,” he chuckled. “Go ahead.”

“Taylor released a new album and with work I haven’t had the chance to listen to it properly yet.”

“Is that why you had headphones on all day at the office?”

“I was lucky it was paperwork day.”

He shook his head in delight, and let you connect your phone to his car. You bit your lip trying to hold back a smile at the thought that he didn’t need to ask who Taylor was. And at the fact that you were certainly the reason why.

“How do you know the lyrics by heart already?” he asked, only one song in.

“Not all songs are new.”

“How does that work, I thought you said it’s a new album?”

“Okay so, it’s basically a rerecording of an old album. And she added a few new songs in as well. So even if it’s an old album it feels new,” you said. “She is rerecording all of her old albums that she doesn’t own. Because even though she wanted to buy them they were sold to somebody else. Someone who had not been good to her.”

“That’s terrible.”

“Yeah…But because she wrote them she has the right to record them again.”

“Oh…Good for her.”

“Yes. All Swifties listen to her versions.”

“Do they?” he said, laughing.

“Yes,” you said proudly.

“And which one is your favorite?”

“From this album?” you asked.

“Mhm…”

“I’ll just play it for you.”

It was hard to miss his shy smile when he saw the title ‘You Are In Love’ flash across the screen.

Maybe he was in love too.

[geek-22]

A stupid reason the Saxons hated the vikings

The vikings and Danes washed once a week. They looked after their hair. They braided it.

This resulted in a lot of Saxon women sleeping with the Danes.

Which Saxon men did not like.

Because Saxon men had low grooming standards and were mangy.

[belicomic]

---------------------------------------------- In my epic-fantasy novel, love, courage and endless possibilities intertwine:

www.wattpad.com/story/226610177-before-life

[instantsandwichkingdom]

Guys the way I got into bsd was so dumb. lemme know if y'all want a storytime

[xiaq]

A customer: wants to do a 4-week trial/POC before signing a 100k+ contract (fair). Me, joking: what if, instead, I gave you all the documentation and a pinky promise it'll work for your usecase and you just sign a contract now, instead.

Customer: well if it comes with a pinky-promise, sure. :)

Me (thinking they're also joking): starts to set up the POC. Deal closure: Hey, your customer just asked for a contract. Me:

My account exec: Customer just signed. How'd you get them to agree to close without a POC?

Me:

My manager: Hey can you put together an internal resource for strategies you use to avoid POCs?

Me:

Manager: Maybe you could share in next week's team meeting.

Me :

[racewinnerlandonorris]

save a horse, ride a cowboy

[same-pic-of-rickroll-everyday]

one time never gonna give you up came on the radio in the car and we were nearing some pedestrians so we slowed down, turned up the volume, and lowered the windows. the pedestrians shouted at us.

You are evil.

I approve of this.