#stream kickback

[phantominkd]

my voice claims for gachiakuta

1. Engine - Junichi Suwabe

Junichi Suwabe is mainly known for playing Viktor Nikiforov (Yuri on Ice), Grimmjow (Bleach), Sukuna (Jujustu Kaisen) , and Abbacchio (JJBA).

2. Rudo - Yoshitsugu Matsuoka

Yoshitsugu Matsuoka is known for his roles as Inosuke Hashibria (Demon Slayer) and Teruki Hanazawa (Mob Psycho 100).

3. Riyou - Arisa Ogasawara

Arisa Ogasawara is known for her popular role as Panty from Panty and Stocking.

4. Zanka - Kisho Taniyama

Kisho Taniyama is well known for his roles as Chuuya Nakahara (Bungou Stray Dogs) and Jean Kirschtein (Attack on Titan).

[gaysindistress]

When Night Comes - two 

Summary: Who would win in a staring contest? New York’s resident mob boss and master of the side eye Bucky Barnes or the daycare teacher who really wants to go home and smoke?

pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x reader

warnings: cursing, douchebag Peter Parker, drug use (taking an edible), drinking

word count: 4.3k

one | masterlist

a/n: spoiler alert: there’s a surprise coming in the next part

tag list: @cakesandtom @vickie5446 @buckybarnessimpp @hidden-treasures21​ @unaxv​

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on Google/Pinterest

The lowkey kickback she was promised is anything but that. Cars line the already crowded and narrow street while people mill around and stream out of the towering house. Music blasts throughout the house and onto the street, no doubt upsetting neighbors and warranting noise complaints; however the party goers and the homeowner don’t seem to care. Their uber pulls up to the address and practically dumps them and speeds off, probably wanting to avoid any kind of problem that the party might bring. 

Jessica wraps her thin black cardigan around her body, “Let’s go inside. It’s too damn cold out here.”

Sunny rolls her eyes, following the girl up the steps, “I imagine wearing a bra for a shirt would be very cold.”

“Oh shut up. I look hot even if I am freezing to death.”

Her short brown skirt hikes as she climbs the stairs to the point that Sunny has to reach out and tug it down from behind. Her goal is to entice one man and one man only, however he has yet to be seen as they push past drunk and high people. A familiar blonde spots them as they make their way towards the kitchen. 

“Jessica you came!” Yelena shouts over the loud music and people’s conversations, a smile plastered across her face, “And you brought a friend.”

“Yelena this is Sunny,” Jessica beams, pointing between the two women,” Sunny is this Yelena, the friend that’s throwing this party.”

Sunny extends out her hand to shake Yelena’s but she’s pulled into a tight hug with Yelena whispering in her ear, “Jessica’s situationship is here but he brought another girl just FYI.”

“Shit,” she pulls back and offers Jessica a fake smile who is staring off past them. Sunny follows her stare and spots the very thing she’d hoped to avoid until later; the man in question making out with another girl. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” she shrieks, marching towards them. Neither of them are fast enough to catch the angry brunette who practically rips the woman off of him. 

“Seriously? You go on and on about loyalty and then you fucking show up with another girl? What the fuck are you on because you’re clearly not thinking right,” screaming at the couple, Jessica’s beyond pissed as she stares daggers at them. 

“Jessica, oh hey I didn’t know you were going to be here,” the man tries to play off the situation, running a hand casually through his hair to hide the evidence. 

“Bull fucking shit, I was the one who invited you and you have the audacity to show up with some other girl? Where do you get off?”

“Babe it’s not that serious, I swear,” the lies slip so easily through his teeth, “You know you’re the only girl for me.”

As he speaks, what looks like a fang flashes ever so slightly but disappears when he shifts his gaze to Yelena and Sunny behind her. He tries to grab her hands to calm her down but she’s quick to step back from him, “I might not be the smartest but I’m definitely not that fucking stupid that I’d actually believe anything you said. Get fucked Peter Parker.” 

Yelena stifles a laugh with a cough and leans over to Sunny, “How much you wanna bet he’s going to follow her around all night?”

“I’ll do ya one better; she’s going to punch him.”

“Deal,” she shakes Sunny’s hand as Jessica storms over to them with a rather pissed off Peter in tow. 

“Jessica  just stop,” his demeanor has shifted to a much darker one, “You know that we aren’t exclusive so you can’t get mad if I date other people. You’re still my number one girl.”

“Oh I’m sorry I don’t think I remember having that conversation. That must have been another one of your girlfriends. Just leave me alone Peter. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

His hand darts out and grips her wrist harshly as a cloud of anger takes over his already inky eyes, “That’s enough. Come on, don’t be like that.” 

“Hold up, take your hands off of her and take a step back Parker,” Yelena demands in a stern tone as she steps up to Jessica’s side, “She said she didn’t want anything to do with you so back off.”

“Stay out of this Yelena, this has nothing to do with you.”

“It does when you’re at my party, let her go or I’ll make you,” she warns. 

“And what are you going to do?”

“It’s not her you should be worried about,” the honey voice calls over the noise and tenses every fiber in Sunny’s body. She doesn’t dare to turn around or even move to confirm if it’s him. The almost spicy smell of his leathery sandalwood cologne is enough to confirm that Bucky is coming up beside her. 

“Let her go and you won’t lose your hand,” his voice is level and calm even though there is chaos descending around them. His brown leather jacket clad arm brushes against hers, sending shocks through her knit long sleeve dress. 

Peter dramatically drops her wrist, making a scene of the action and his frustration as every disgruntled frat boy would. He mumbles something under his breath about how fucking ridiculous this all is but doesn’t dare repeat it when Bucky gives him a warning side eye. Jessica curls into Sunny’s side while Bucky and Yelena create a protective wall between her and Peter. When he’s satisfied with the distance between them, Bucky turns to look at them, “Jessica, right? Are you okay?”

She nods quickly, not really wanting to speak. 

“It’s good to see you, Doll. How are you?” The sudden shift confuses the shit out of her. 

“What are you doing here?”

Yelena takes her cue to leave and nods at Bucky as she takes Jessica from her arms, leading her away from the couple and to a calmer place. He laughs at Sunny’s question, “This is my house.”

“Excuse me?” “Well one of my houses. Yelena crashes here from time to time and uses it to throw parties when she’s in town,” He explains, blue eyes glistening in the LED lights as he stares down at her. 

“And you’re okay with her trashing your house whenever she wants?” She asks while she stumbles forward from the force of someone accidentally shoving her from behind. 

Bucky is quick to catch her, hands steadying her by her shoulders, “Easy there tiger. Can’t have you falling for me just yet.”

She scoffs lightly and shakes his hands off, “I was pushed.”

“By destiny into my arms.”

“No by a drunk asshole into another asshole.”

Once again he lets out another damn addicting laugh, slinging an arm over her shoulder and leads her away from the crowd. The weight of his arm is nice, comforting even as they weave their way through people to the backyard. Maybe it’s how amazing his cologne smells or how she can feel the cold of his body through the thin white t-shirt he’s wearing under his jacket. The edible she took before they left Jessica’s apartment definitely plays a part in how she leans into his embrace and doesn’t immediately pull away when they step out into the cold nighttime air. 

“Do you have an answer?” The question pulls her away from her thoughts. Clearing her throat, she steps out from under his arm and wraps her own around her, mulling over what he asked her. 

“Answer to what?”

“I asked if I could make it up to you with dinner after Scott was rude. You never gave me an answer.”

“Oh,” she looks down to her scoffed docs for a few moments before making eye contact with him, “No.”

“No?”

“Yeah, no I won’t go to dinner with you,” she revels in the way confusion eats away at his beautiful features. 

“Fair enough. How about I pay for dinner for you and Jessica?” a soft smirk dismisses the confusion and she has to look away before heat flushes her face. 

“No.”

“Catering for lunch one day?”

“No.”

“Coffee every morning for a month?” “Jesus no.”

“Flowers?” He tries one last time even though he knows she’s just going to shoot it down. The way she’s struggling under his gaze is worth more than any material thing to him; he’s getting under her skin in the most delicious way possible. 

“Why do you have to make it up? Just leave it, that’s what other people do.”

“Well I’m not like other people. Manners aren’t dead and it’s only fair I reconcile with the beautiful woman who didn’t call the police on us when she should have.”

The view of her docs is no longer interesting and the city lights are too bright to see the stars so her only option is to look at him with that flirtatious smirk and smooth words. Her head body starts to feel weightless as the THC comes into full force and it’s a struggle to form sentences that aren’t littered with giggles, “You think I’m beautiful? Oh… shit that’s not what I meant to say. What I meant is just leave it alone. It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

His superstar Adidas barely make any noise against the stone pavers as he slowly saunters towards her. 

“I think you did mean that first part,” his right hand finds her chin and tilts it so she’s eye to eye with him, “And to answer your question, I do think you’re beautiful. You are, by far, the most stunning woman I have ever met and I would love the chance to get to know you better if you’d stop being so obstinate.”

Maybe it’s the THC or the tornado his touch has thrown her mind into but she swears she can’t feel any heat coming from him as he gently grips her chin. 

“Maybe learn to take no for an answer,” her eyes flicker down to his lips briefly, “Besides it’s unprofessional.”

“We’re two consenting adults,” he leans even closer, his nose brushing against hers as he speaks, “It’s only unprofessional if you let it distract you.”

“Hey Sunny… Oh fuck,” Yelena shrinks back into the house when she spots the two of them wrapped up in their own bubble of sexual tension. Bucky chuckles with mild annoyance at being interrupted but steps back and gives her space to breathe again all the same. 

Embarrassment fills Sunny’s body as she rubs her arms to regain control of her breathing again,“What’s up Yelena?”

“Uh Jess wants to leave. She’s a mess about the whole Peter thing.”

“Yeah, okay let her know we can leave. Can you have her call an uber?” she attempts to brush past Bucky but his arm pulls her into his side just like before. 

“Don’t be silly, I’ll drive you guys home.”

“We can take an uber, it’s not a big deal.”

“Doll let me take care of you,” the not so subtle meaning freezes any protests and he smirks at her before heading back into the den of sweat and alcohol to find the damsel in distress. Sounds of sobbing and sniffing come from the kitchen, letting them know she’s been hiding out there. 

“Oh Sunny,” she launches herself at Sunny, tears having ruined her makeup, “I feel so fucking stupid, oh my god.”

“Come on, let’s get you girls home,” Bucky mumms as he lets go of Sunny to pull her under his arm. Still being a gentleman, he offers his other arm to Sunny so she doesn’t get lost and she does take it even though she’ll try to deny it later on. He won’t let her live down how tightly she’s gripping his arm or how she follows after him like a puppy as they zigzag their way to the front door. Yelena isn’t in tow, saying something about having to make sure the party doesn’t end up a complete failure and slipping her number into Sunny’s hand. The action goes unnoticed by Bucky as he’s too focused on Jessica and keeping her shielded from other party goers. 

Slowly climbing down the stairs, he digs into his jean pocket to find his keys. A blacked out Mercedes AMG G63 a little ways down the crowded street lights up when he pushes the fob. A part of her is impressed with his choice in car but the other part is more concerned about why he would leave such a nice car out in the open where it could easily get broken into or stolen. Then again with what she knows about him and his work, he has more than enough money to replace it if anything were to happen to it. 

Jessica immediately clamors into the front seat, leaving Sunny to navigate her own way into the backseat. He opens the door for both women but abandons Jessica to gently lift Sunny into the vehicle. “I can do it myself,” she protests, trying to swat at his hands on her hips. 

“I’m sure you could sober,” he teases her as he clips the seat belt over her and closes the door. 

“Dick,” she mumbles under her breath, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“What was that?” his blue eyes glitter with mischief in the rear view mirror as he pulls away from the curb. 

“I said you’re a dick.”

“Be nice to him! He’s being such a gentleman and taking us home,” Jessica interjects, placing her hand on his arm in a very flirtatious way. Of course she decides now is the time to try her hand at flirting with the hottest man alive according to the teachers at their work. 

Knowing exactly what she’s doing, he removes her hand and puts it back on her lap, “Sunny means no harm but I appreciate you standing up for me.”

The rejection doesn’t sit super well with Jessica, the hurt from earlier still lingering and she starts to complain about Peter all over again. She throws in unnecessarily details about the pictures she sent him, the sets she bought for him, and all of the things he wanted to try. At some point, Sunny completely dozes off and leaves Bucky to fend for himself as he grows increasingly more uncomfortable with the amount of information she’s rattling off. 

She jolts awake when the car parks and she rubs at her eyes when she notices that they’re parked in the garage of Jessica’s apartment complex. Jessica is still rambling on about Peter as she had been for the last twenty minutes or so and she can tell by the bored look on Bucky’s face he mentally checked out at about the same time. He throws out the occasional hum and ‘yeah’ while he helps Sunny out of the car and into the elevator that leads up to the apartments. 

She’s still complaining about how Peter could never make her finish while she unlocks her apartment door and lets him set Sunny down on the couch. She waltzes off to her room, leaving a very high Sunny smiling like an idiot at Bucky.

“Where’s your phone?” he asks, taking a seat on the coffee table in front of the couch. 

Sunny hands him her purse, mumbling incoherently about how it’s inside. 

Shaking his head at her state, he digs out her phone and has her unlock it. She tries to watch him through her lashes to see what he’s doing. 

“I put my number in so if you need anything, call me,” he answers her unasked question and hands her back her phone, “I’ll be there as soon as I can, okay Doll?”

She blankly stares at him, not quite catching onto the fact that he asked her a question. Albeit delayed, she nods in understanding, earning herself a reward in the form of his laughter and a feather light kiss to her hairline. 

“I’m leaving Jessica. Lock your doors please,” he yells to the other woman and winks at Sunny before closing the door behind himself. 

“Girl please tell me that you’re going to lock that man down. He’s so into you, it’s so obvious.”

“What?” Sunny drops her head back against the couch to lazily look at Jessica. 

“Are you serious? He wanted nothing to do with me and I was flirting hard. He only has eyes for you.”

“No, no, no,” she waves hand to dismiss the imaginary image of them together, “He’s just a flirt, he acts like that with everyone.”

Jessica locks her door as he had asked and spins to face her very clearly out of it friend, “Sunny, be so fucking for real right now. I bet if you called him right now, he would be knocking on the door in seconds.”

“Yeah because he’s still in the building. Jess I really don’t want to debate whether or not he’s into me. I’d rather go to sleep and argue with you tomorrow.”

“Fine,” she raises her hands in defeat, “If you don’t call him or at least text him tomorrow to say thank you, I will steal your phone and do it for you.”

“Fine, whatever,” Sunny drags herself off of the couch and slowly walks to Jessica’s bedroom meanwhile the other woman is getting water for them to drink in the morning. They’ll no doubt have cotton mouth or a hangover or maybe both when they wake up. Sunny barely gets her boots off before sleep takes over and she passes out on the covers still fully clothed. Jessica chuckles to herself and gets ready for bed before trying her hardest to get Sunny under the covers. 

“Night bitch.”

Sunday mornings with the girls consisted of waffles, fruit, and an endless supply of champagne or weed, it really depended on their mood. Given how shitty last night had been, it seemed like champagne would be the chosen remedy for Jessica’s broken heart and a joint would be the preventive medicine for Sunny’s ears. The sweet smell of sugar and syrup mixed with the earthy smell from her joint coated the air of Jessica's apartment, suffocating the smell of the burning waffles that she’d forgotten about during her endless rant about Peter. 

“I seriously can’t believe that he would do that to me,” she sighed, staring absently at the kitchen floor with her drink in one hand and back to the smoking waffle iron. 

Sunny gently pushed her aside by her hip to get the waffle out, “I mean….”

“I just need your ears, not your opinions,” she stops Sunny from saying anything that might upset her and continues, “I mean look at me; do I look stupid? Do I look like someone who just enjoys being fucked over? I’m getting really tired of his bullshit.”

Sunny just nods along, taking over the waffle station and filling the iron with batter. A plate full of waffles appears in front of Jessica and quickly snatches one off, taking small bites. After a few minutes of her not talking and the sounds of the iron dinging when the waffles are done, Sunny tries to speak again, “Are you done?” “Yes, obviously I’m done talking,” she sneers, chugging her half full cup and making another glass of champagne with a splash of orange juice. 

“Well,” Sunny starts after taking a long drag from her joint, “he is the epitome of Chad, the worst frat boy archetype. You met him on Hinge so in the nicest possible way, what did you expect? At least with Tinder you know what you’re getting but with the other ones, it’s the damn Hunger Games and you offered yourself up as tribute pretty quickly with Peter.”

Even though she’s not looking, she can feel the daggers coming Jessica’s dark eyes but she doesn’t let up, “My advice; ghost him, block him, get so drunk you forget he exists, and find yourself someone new. He’s never going to be who you want and if you keep letting him back in, he’s going to keep treating you like a doormat and you, my goddess of a friend, deserve someone better.”

“Why can’t I just like girls like you? Men are so stupid,” she sighs more dramatically than humanly thought possible and drops her head onto Sunny’s shoulder. 

“First off, that’s not how it works and second off, girls are just as bad as guys are.”

“Yeah but girls are so much prettier and they don’t stick their dicks in anything while walking.”

She chuckles, “Homegirl you clearly haven’t spent any real time around queer people. Douche bag transcends the social construct of gender. My last queer relationship ended because she tried to sleep with all of my friends while planning my proposal. Shitty people are going to do shitty things no matter what.”

“Touché,” Jessica lifts herself from Sunny’s shoulder, “Talking about your relationships, have you texted Mr. Sexy?”

Rolling her eyes, she unplugs the waffle iron and drops the batter bowl into the sink, joint still trapped between her fingers. Before she has to face the music of Jessica on a mission, she hops onto the counter and continues to smoke, “Nope.”

“Why not?” “I don’t want to?”

“I sense a question mark. You want to but your damned ego won’t let you,” Jessica declares, finger pointing at her in a very accusing manner. 

“It’s not that,” Sunny leans back to snuff out her joint on an ashtray sitting on the counter behind her, “That’s not the only number I got last night.”

“Spill, right now.”

She vaguely gestures to the living room where her phone is at, “When I woke up, I had another number stuffed into my purse.”

Jessica stares at her with expecting eyes, “Who’s?” “Yelena.”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD! YELENA?” Jessica’s loud and very drunk voice bounces off the walls and bounces in their ears.  

“Jesus quit screaming,” Sunny covers her ears and chides her friend. “You have to text her and Mr. Sexy.”

“What? No, I'm not doing that.”

“You kinda have to. You need to thank him and you need to flirt it up with Yelena. If you’re lucky, you might find yourself in both of their beds,” Jessica calls as she rushes to grab Sunny’s phone.

“Oh for the love of god,” she curses, sliding off the counter to catch her friend before she does anything stupid. 

However she is too late; Jessica already has her phone unlocked and is rapidly typing away at the screen. There’s no use in trying to stop her, she’s surprisingly strong and fast when she’s drinking. On more than one occasion, Sunny has had to put an air tag on her or physically tie them together when they go out because Jessica will bolt the moment tequila touches her tongue. 

“Hey there Stranger, thank you for being such a gentleman last night. Chivalry isn’t dead it seems,” the tipsy woman narrates as she types away Sunny’s soul to the devil.

“I don’t sound or text like that.”

“I know. You’re so boring and weird. You call people when they text you. That’s the move of a psychopath,” she pauses her betrayal to tease Sunny, “‘It's too bad I had to leave, we didn't have time to make out’ and send.”

“Oh my god,” Sunny laughs in half disbelief and annoyance. Of course Jessica would pick the most out of pocket shit to flirt with Yelena on her behalf. 

“I’ll have my assistant send over my invoice when you and yelena go out,” she blows a fake kiss and plops down on the couch, Sunny not far behind. 

“Can I have my phone back?”

“Hmmm let me think….. No I’ll be sending your texts for today, ya know to keep the balls rolling,” she retorts. 

The phone in her hand vibrates awake, alerting them that someone has responded to Jessica’s devious messages. 

“And we have our first answer,” she reads the message to herself before a wide grin stretches across her face, “To tell you or to not tell you, now that is the question.”

“For the love of god just tell me, what did they say?”

“It really is a shame we didn’t get to make out, dinner friday and we can try again?” Jessica reads out but her grin drops just as quickly as it appeared. 

“What? What is that look for?” Sunny sits up from her slouched position on the couch. 

Jessica laughs nervously, “Okay so don’t be mad. Be so chill about this.”

“What did you do?”

“I may or may not have accidentally switched the texts around.”

Hands slapping against her face, Sunny drags them down in disbelief as she falls back against the couch, “Please tell you’re fucking joking.”

Jessica smacks her lips and shrugs, “Well on the bright side, you now have a date with Bucky so there’s that.”

“Did you text back yes?”

“Obvi,” Jessica starts typing away again, completely ignoring the girl to her side who is going through an emotional crisis over this, “So now you’ll have two dates and a better chance at getting laid.” 

The groan that leaves Sunny is unnatural, bordering the sounds that a demon would make but alas there is no demon and it’s just the deep anguish that she’s feeling reaching the surface. Her joint from earlier is doing little to ease her misery and the giggles that leave Jessica’s mouth are fuel to the fire. She has no idea what her friend is saying and whether or not it’s going to get her into trouble come Friday. Knowing Jessica, she’s flirting which only means that Sunny is going to have a lovely time the next time she sees Bucky. 

“Could you not flirt with him? I really don’t want to keep it going when I go home.” “Oh my god get over yourself. I’m helping you here, you’re terrible at flirting.”

“Whatever,” she mumbles, reaching for the TV remote to turn on some stupid show to distract her. If she can’t control what Jessica is doing, she can at least control what show they’re watching.

[kantah]

have YOU streamed the music projects of the tempus boys yet 🫵

☆ debut songs

top of the world

always tied

☆ original songs

copium (magni)

raven's paradigm (hakka)

shattered wings (hakka)

woven fates (altare × axel × bettel × shinri)

dead world (bettel × flayon × hakka)

flex (hq × vg)

☆ solo covers (hq)

heartache (altare)

everything goes on (altare)

escape from the city (magni)

a very magging holidez (magni)

yoidore shirazu (axel)

queen (axel)

black cherry (axel)

kickback (axel)

kyu-kurarin (axel)

shinigami (vesper)

☆ solo covers (vg)

monster (bettel)

one reason (bettel)

when you're evil (bettel)

kiss of death (flayon)

grateful☆dead☆march (flayon)

the living ghost is alive (hakka)

sentimental feelings of love (hakka)

killing me (hakka)

idol (hakka)

tower of babel (hakka)

my roar (hakka)

fixer (hakka)

tarine (hakka)

daddy daddy do (shinri)

☆ collab covers

bad ∞ end ∞ night (holopro en × holo id)

yatta! (holostars en × jp)

rad dogs (hololive × holostars)

our 16bit warz (holostars en × jp)

mr.schadenfreude (holopro en × holo id)

inkya impulse (bettel × hakka)

märchen boyfriend & märchen girlfriend (flayon × hakka)

do as i say (hakka × shinri)

last updated: november 20, 2023

☆ armis music projects here~ (wip)

[onboardsorasora]

massaging or sitting in the others lap!

Sorry I took forever with this Anonstie, I wanted to do both but couldn't think of the right scenario. But we got there and I hope you like it!!

They were in the wilderness, awake early and posted up on the hunting stand in the middle of a clearing right before sunrise. Daniel was so tired, he blearily noted the majestic rising of the sun behind the mountain range to their right? Left? It didn’t matter

It was early, ass crack o'clock to be exact and Max looked too bright eyed and bushy tailed for someone who had gotten even less sleep than Daniel himself received.

They had arrived last night at the house– it was a little more than a cabin but just not as rustic. It had been in the family for years now and had been updated when Max and Victoria were kids. Daniel was always thankful for the indoor plumbing and recent addition of wifi. Max's dad, Jos, had prepped the place for them, knowing that Max would make the pilgrimage into the wilds for his birthday no matter what. It was tradition he would say.

Max had told him many times about how much fun it had been growing up and the weekend trips they would take up the mountain since his birthday was in the peak of bird hunting season. And of course, Victoria continued the tradition with Lio and Luka. 

Daniel…well he didn’t hate hunting, but he thought it was a lot of effort when they could wake up later in the same cabin and go hiking to a spot in the hills at a more reasonable time.

The first flight of birds leaving their nests for food had already passed, Max had had a stellar shoot, they would have a fine lunch. Maybe dinner. Then he passed the shotgun to Daniel and (once again) taught him how to hold it and aim. 

They did this every year, and every year as soon as they went back home, Daniel forgot how to shoot. Not only was it just not his sport, he simply looked forward to the massage he got from Max afterwards. So he liked his boyfriend’s hands on him, sue him.

While Vic took the boys down to the nearby stream, Max sat on a wooden bench and pulled Daniel to sit on his lap. Daniel leaned into him, clutching Max’s arms that wrapped around his camo clad belly.

“Fine shootn’ today Maxy Max.” Daniel tried to use a Texan accent when they went hunting. It started as a joke and the boys absolutely loved it.

Max smiled a crinkly faced smile, he also got a kick out of it. “Of course, I have been shooting since I was Luka’s age.” 

“A fine cowboy you’d make.”

Max snorted, “always, you are silly Daniel. But yes, I can provide for my family out in the wilderness.” Max rolled his eyes obnoxiously.

“Well you know what they say, save a horse…” Daniel grinned and turned so he was sitting across Max’s legs. He threw his arms around Max’s shoulders, wincing slightly as he did, he truly never got used to the kickback of the old shotgun Max used.

“Are you sore?” Max sprung into action, pressing his thumbs softly into the tender tissue much to Daniel’s relief. “You didn’t cup it close enough, you always forget I think.” Max murmured, his focus honed in on making sure Daniel was ok.

“I’ll cup you close enough.” Daniel teased in reply, grinning at Max’s snort.

“You are doing it on purpose, maybe. Of course you don’t have to hurt yourself to get a massage, Love, I’ll gladly give you one when we get home.”

Daniel kissed Max’s forehead, brushing his hair back with his nose. “I’ll hold you to it since you insist on using that ancient thing.”

He laughed loudly at Max’s squawk of outrage, pleased when his boyfriend launched into the very familiar– and yearly– ‘rant’ about how his gun wasn’t old and he didn’t need to buy a new one and if Daniel would just listen and practice the kick wouldn’t hurt him.

Traditions indeed.

[bestaez]

Strangers (Chapter Nine)

Strangers from Hell AU

Series Masterlist

pairing: ot7 x reader

genre: yandere, horror/thriller

word count: 6k

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!): unreliable narrator, murder, mature themes, minor character death, obsessive/possessive behavior, emotional manipulation, stalking, bullying, violence, blood and injuries, mc has some self-deprecating thoughts, mc is lowkey in denial.

When Nayeon offered to book you a hotel room, you weren’t expecting her to book such a lavish place. You tried to convince her to pick a cheaper motel you wouldn't feel so guilty staying in but she wouldn’t allow it, insisting that you let her take care of you. It wasn’t like she didn’t have the money - her position paid quite a generous salary. But that wasn’t the point. She had already done so much for you and you just felt like you didn’t deserve any of it. She had waved off all your attempts, fixing you with an almost exasperated look that finally made you shut up.

It reminded me of the first night you met Nayeon, in the bathroom of one of the only college parties you had ever attended. Before you had met Jihoon, there was another guy from one of your classes that you had gotten close to. You had bonded over late night studying in the library and last-minute racing to the cafeteria before it closed. Despite your best efforts, you fell for him. When he invited you to his friend’s kickback, you were excited to spend more time with him. That was until he blew you off to have sex in his car with some random girl. The two of you weren’t exclusive by any means, but you couldn’t help but be jaded over it.

Even back then, you knew you were probably being silly for feeling jealous. But you were also just hurt that he had left you alone at a house party where you didn’t know anyone. When turning to drinking only resulted in you being even more intoxicated and sad, you had ventured off to the bathroom to let your feelings out. And that was how Nayeon had found you, sitting on the closed toilet seat with your head in your hands and tears streaming down your cheeks. 

“I can promise you he isn’t worth your tears,” She had stated, giving you a look in the mirror as she checked her makeup. When you explained your pathetic situation, she only scoffed in disbelief. She grabbed your hand, pulling you up from your seat and meeting your gaze fiercely. “I’m Nayeon. See, now you know one other person here.”

Nayeon had cheered you up with words of affirmations and fixed your makeup a bit. After that, she held your hand and walked you back down to where the party was. She introduced you to her friend group, which ironically included Jihoon. The two of them took you under their wing and became your closest friends throughout their college years. And now, the two of them here taking care of you in your adult years was very funny but almost meant to be.

Nayeon and Jihoon had initially planned to leave so that you could have some space but you begged them to stay. You didn’t trust your mind enough to be alone with your thoughts in a new place. Once they saw the teary look in your eyes, it wasn’t even a question. You ended up falling asleep cuddled up next to Jihoon with Nayeon sleeping in the spare bed, her back facing you. This sleepover arrangement was so strange but you allowed yourself to enjoy the familiar company for one night.

The next morning, the two of them had left in order to grab a change of clothes - both promising to return as soon as they could. You knew it was only reasonable for them to leave eventually but you couldn’t help the heavy feeling in your chest. It had been so cozy there in your little bubble.

You don’t know how long you stayed in bed like that, staring at the wall deep in thought. The sound of your phone buzzing next to you broke you out of your daze, glancing at the screen to see an incoming call from your mom. Your heart skipped a beat, paranoid thoughts that she might know what happened sneaking in. Did Jihoon or Nayeon tell her?

Your hands shook as you brought the phone to your ear, “Mom?”

“Hi honey! I was just calling to check in,” Her comforting voice came through the speaker, causing your racing heart to slow just a bit. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” You paused, trying to keep the confusion lacing your tone. “How are you?”

“Great! I wanted to thank you for sending that check.” You froze in your spot on the bed, eyes staring unblinking as she spoke. “I didn’t realize you were going to send so much. You have no idea what this will do for us.”

Whatever else she said after that went unheard by you, your mind trying to make sense of what she said. You never sent her any check. At least, you had no memory of doing so. She had only called you the other day so you hadn’t had the time to. And at this point, you weren’t sure you would even have the means to do so anymore. You didn’t know if you should tell her the truth so you just remained quiet, trying to focus on what she was saying. She was updating you on your brother’s condition, which as it seemed was improving. 

“Oh- your brother’s awake now. I’ll put him on.”

You waited and then your brother’s voice came on the line, “YN?”

“Minjun?” You hadn’t expected the tears that came flooding in at the sound of your baby brother’s voice. It was a much-needed comfort. “How are you?”

“I’m doing okay. Mom said you helped pay for my procedure. Thank you so much, sissy.”

You choked a little, not knowing if you should take credit for something you didn’t do but ultimately deciding not to let them stress over it either. “Of course, Junie. I hope you’re feeling better now.”

“Yes, I feel a lot better.” He answered, sounding strong and hopeful. “Are you liking it out there in the city? Is your job pretty cool?”

“It’s not bad and, uh, yeah my job is pretty cool.” You feel so lame lying to your brother like this but it’s not like you could tell him the truth. You didn’t know how you were even going to tell your mother.

You listened to your brother chat for a little while longer. He told you funny stories about the different roommates he had encountered during his trips to the hospital. You half-listened, half-marveled at how grown up he sounded. You couldn’t wrap your mind around it. You hadn’t left home that long ago so why did they feel so far away?

After the call ended, all you could do was stare at the phone in confusion. Was it possible you sent your mother money and completely forgot about it? No, there was so way. You weren’t that out of it. So, then who did? Your first thought was maybe Jihoon or Nayeon because they had always loved your mom when they came to visit with you during your school breaks. They claimed your mom made the best naengmyeon and always begged her to make it for them. But, you don’t remember ever telling them about your family’s money problem.

Before you could stress yourself out even more, there was a knock at the door. You got up slowly, light footsteps making your way to the door as you stared at it cautiously. For some reason, you were on edge thinking about who it could be. Jihoon and Nayeon never said when they would come back, just that it would be a little while.

Just as you were leaning up to check the peephole, a deep voice sounded behind the door. “It’s me, YN.”

You breathed a sigh of relief, unlocking it to see your boyfriend’s face waiting patiently behind it. He raised his eyebrows at you playfully, waiting for you to step aside to let him in. Once you were both inside and the door was shut behind you, you felt much calmer and safer.

Jihoon wasted no time making himself at home, settling in on the foot of the bed with a bag by his feet. You took a seat next to him, muscles tense as you tried to appear relaxed next to him. But of course, he knew you too well and saw right through your act.

“Calm down, YN.” Jihoon’s shoulder bumped yours lightly. “You look so tense.”

“Sorry.” You mumbled, falling backwards on the bed in a heap. “I don’t know why I just feel so paranoid.”

“Why? You know you’re safe here, right?” He turned to look at you fully, concern etched into his expression.

“Yes. That’s the problem, I’m too scared to leave.” You explained, biting your lip thoughtfully.

Jihoon sighed, leaning back he turned to give you a long look. He looked deep in thought about something, opening his mouth a few times before finally settling with, “Look-”

Another knock at the door interrupted him. He paused, looking at you before getting up to check the peephole. You already knew who it was by the way his shoulders sagged knowingly, going to unlock the door and let her in.

Nayeon came in, bright-eyed and rosy cheeked. She, too, had a bag with her that she dropped by your feet unceremoniously. She plopped down next to you on the bed, throwing an arm over your shoulder and squeezing you affectionately. “How’s my dongsaeng?

“Better, I think.” You answered as honestly as you could, palms rubbing the fabric of your pants idly. “I spoke to my mom earlier.”

“Yeah? Did you tell her what happened?” Jihoon asked curiously as he perched himself on the desk before you.

“No, definitely not. I don’t want to freak her out,” You shake your head, laughing humorlessly. “She’s been stressed enough these days. Actually, come to think of it, I know this sounds crazy but did either of you send her money recently?”

They both shook their heads at you curiously, frowns etched on their faces.

“It’s so weird. She thanked me for sending her a check but I don’t recall ever sending her one. She had asked me for one and I had been planning to, but I never got around to doing it.”

“Is it possible you did but just forgot?” Nayeon’s tone was light as she regarded you carefully.

“I don’t know.”

The three of you were silent after that, thoughts lingering over your heads that no one dared to speak out loud. You knew they were probably surveying your emotions, not wanting to say something that could possibly upset you. The fact that even Nayeon, your most outspoken friend, was quiet said something. You knew how this all must look and it all made you feel so helpless.

*****

It took some convincing but the two of them managed to get you out of the hotel room, insisting that it was important you didn’t grow dependent on staying inside. They also claimed they were starving and didn’t want to spend money on the expensive hotel room food, which you couldn’t argue with.

The walk to the restaurant wasn’t long and once inside, you found it was actually quite small and cozy. The three of you found a booth in the back, Jihoon pausing to let you slide in first as he came in next to you. Your mind was so jumbled you couldn’t even decipher the words on the menu, too distracted by all the other customers in the store. It wasn’t even that busy but every noise put you on edge. 

Jihoon had ordered something simple for you, sensing how difficult you were finding it to pick something to eat. You leaned into his shoulder and smiled thankfully, too absorbed in your boyfriend’s thoughtful actions to notice the jealous gaze on you both.

“So, YN,” Your eyes rose to find Nayeon staring at you with a curious look on her face, eyebrows raised. “What’s your plan?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest.” You threaded your fingers together, gaze averting to the tabletop nervously. “Have you heard anything?”

“Well, if you’re asking about your job, I don’t even know what to say. It doesn’t sound good, that’s for sure.” You nodded with a sigh, expecting that much. “But I haven’t heard anything about if she’s gonna press charges. Maybe if you apologized...”

“I don’t know if I can face her again.” Your hands trembled as you placed them on the table before you. Memories of your court case flooded back in and sent a cold shock to your system, having to deal with that girl and her family’s death glares was something you never wanted to experience again. “God, I’m such a mess.”

“We’ll help you get through this.” Jihoon placed his hand onto yours comfortingly, looking down at you with a soft smile on his face. The two of you held your gazes for a moment, feeling connected for the first time in a long time.

You didn’t notice the way Nayeon eyed your joined hands silently for a moment before she, too, placed her hand on yours, causing you both to look back at her. “Yes, we will.”

You found that despite life driving you apart in recent months, spending time in the presence of your two closest companions was much needed. Even if they hadn’t always been there for you before, they had shown up now without you even asking. You felt yourself relaxing into the warm bubble around them, almost forgetting how stressful your life had been up until now.

You open your mouth to thank them, freezing when your eyes fall on a figure in all-black entering the restaurant. You blink in shock, trying to see if it’s really him or just a hallucination. You wouldn’t be surprised if you were seeing things at this point but when the other two look at the entrance curiously, you know it’s real. You can’t explain the cold feeling that blooms in your chest at the sight of him. There’s just something about his presence that sets you off.

“Who is that, YN?” You can’t even respond, frozen in fear as he spots you, turning to approach the table.

“Hey stranger.” You can only gawk as Jihoon and Nayeon give you a questioning look. The newcomer appears unbothered by all the attention as he turns to look at Jihoon. “You must be the boyfriend.”

“And you are?” Jihoon raises an unimpressed eyebrow, trying to appear unfazed by the tense energy.

“Sorry, I’m being rude.” He chuckles, holding his hand out in introduction. “I’m Namjoon, YN’s roommate.”

The two of them shake hands, Namjoon looking almost too eager while Jihoon seemed apprehensive, sizing the former up where he stood. You risk a glance at Nayeon, who was too busy studying Namjoon curiously. You could tell she thought he was attractive with the way her eyes were raking up and down his form, unable to look away.

“Well, we were kind of in the middle of something-” Jihoon pulls his hand away finally, shaking his arm uncomfortably.

“Why don’t you join us?” Nayeon’s invitation shocks you all, but Namjoon eats it up as he slid in next to her with a grin. You are surprised to see her flip her hair to one side as she leans forward in her seat, gaze falling to her blouse that seemed to have more obvious cleavage than before. Had she unbuttoned her blouse that quickly?

“I’m Nayeon,” She clears her throat, bringing your roommate’s attention to her finally. He blinks as if just now taking her in. “I’m YN’s best friend.”

“Oh really?” Namjoon responds coolly, leaning back. “YN never mentioned a best friend.”

“Well that’s surprising because I’m the reason she’s here. I got her a job at my company. Well, what was her job.” Nayeon declares matter-of-factly, ignoring the deadpanned look Jihoon gives her. “I’m actually the chief-”

“Ah, that must be why you’re so full of yourself.” Your eyes widen at Namjoon’s bluntness, Jihoon snorting next to you.

“Excuse me?” Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Clearly, Nayeon was used to people praising her instead of judging her.

“You think you’re better than her because you’re some executive. If you’re in such a good position, why couldn’t you get her a real job instead of a stupid internship?” The tension was thick as you and Jihoon stared back and forth at the two bickering on the other side of the table. You felt like you weren’t even here, unable to believe any of this was happening. “And then you have the nerve to take all the credit for YN getting this position as if her own merit didn’t have anything to do with it. YN is a good person and you only put her down. You don’t deserve her.”

“How are you going to sit here and act like you know her in front of the two people who care about her the most?” Nayeon spits, rage filling her eyes. “She’s been my best friend for years-”

“You’re disgusting. Pretending like you care about her when you’re too busy fucking her boyfriend to answer her calls.”

At first, it was like you didn’t even hear it. It felt like you were in a dream and couldn’t get your ears to work or mouth to speak. Only when you saw Nayeon’s mouth open and close, her eyes blinking rapidly and avoiding making contact with your own did you fully register it. You looked at Jihoon, who seemed to be breaking out of his stupor as he reached across the table and grabbed Namjoon’s collar.

“Who the fuck do you think you are to say something like that?!” You don’t think you’ve ever seen your boyfriend get this angry. You could only stare in awe, meanwhile no one seemed to be brave enough to spare a look at you.

“Look at this fucking guy,” Namjoon laughed darkly, unbothered by the tight grip on his shirt. “Who are you acting all tough for, huh? Your girlfriend or your sidepiece?”

At that, Jihoon ripped Namjoon up out of his seat as they both stood and moved out into the aisle. More customers had arrived during your time here and the small crowd was watching the altercation. Somehow, you were too distracted to be embarrassed by all the attention.

“YN,” Nayeon reaches across the table to hold your arm tightly, “You know he’s lying, right? I don’t know where he got that from.”

You didn’t respond, wrenching yourself out of her grasp and finally getting out of your seat. Namjoon and Jihoon paused their staredown when you breezed past them, heading for the restaurant doors. You didn’t know what to think but you needed some air.

You had a few seconds to yourself as you stood outside the restaurant, the sky dark around you as night had fallen. There weren’t too many people in the street so at least it was peaceful for a moment. The sound of the doors flying open behind you popped that bubble.

“YN, I-”

“Is it true?” You didn’t turn around to look at Jihoon, unable to look at his face when he answered. But when he didn’t respond, you finally looked back. He could only stare at you sadly, and for a moment you thought you might have seen his eyes getting glossy behind his glasses before you rationalized it was probably just the glare from the streetlights. 

You looked at Nayeon, who stood a few feet away. She met your gaze head-on, trying to appear strong but you could tell from the way she shuffled her feet that she was nervous. There weren't many things that made your best friend uncomfortable but you knew a guilty look when you saw one.

“How could you?” Many emotions crossed her face - denial, surprise, sadness until she eventually settled with a mask of indifference.

“What do you want me to say? It’s not like you two were in the best of places. He was bored, I was lonely.” She shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest. “C’mon, we’re all adults here. Shit happens. I’m sorry.”

That last part felt like an afterthought and you knew she didn’t really mean it. You stared at your oldest friend with this new-found light and it was like suddenly, all her flaws were visible. She truly was a stone-cold bitch and you felt foolish for taking this long to realize it. Perhaps you were too close to her before to truly see it.

“It must be so lonely surrounding yourself with such narcissistic people,” Namjoon’s voice caught you off guard from where she stood a few feet away, making you tense up on the spot. “Especially in a scary new place like this. But, you know you’re not alone, YN. You always have us.”

“Oh my god,” Nayeon burst out laughing, covering her mouth. “Do you hear yourself? Fucking weirdo.”

“How the fuck did you even know, huh? Are you some kind of stalker?” Jihoon finds his voice as rage once again consumes him, turning to Namjoon as he steps closer.

“I’m just someone who cares a lot for YN, clearly more than you both do.” Namjoon answers simply, as if his revelations on your relationship are easy information for anyone to find. It was happening in your own life and you couldn’t even see it.

“Whatever. YN, I know you probably don’t want to hear it from me but if I were you, I’d get a restraining order against this guy’s ass.” You don’t look at her as Nayeon says her piece before turning to leave, walking further away down the sidewalk.

It’s silent for a while after that. You can’t get yourself to move your feet, staring at the ground as if deep in thought but nothing really sticking. You can feel the burning gazes of both men on you but you’re too zoned out to care.

“YN, let me take you back to the hotel at least.” Jihoon softly calls out to you, stepping closer. It isn’t until you feel his hand on you that you finally snap. “Honey-”

“Don’t call me that.” You spit, throwing your fists against his chest angrily. “Don’t touch me. Just.. fuck off!” 

Jihoon could only stand there and take it as you beat against him senselessly, allowing you to let your frustrations out on him. It wasn’t until you felt your energy start to lessen and tears fill your eyes that you finally gave him a good shove, turning on your heel to get away from him.

The sound of footsteps behind you caused you to hasten your steps, not wanting to deal with another confrontation and just wanting to be alone. When you felt a hand on your shoulder, you reeled back in anger only to see it was Namjoon following you.

“Namjoon, w-what?” You breathed, too absorbed in the drama of your boyfriend cheating on you to think about his part in all this. “Why are you here?”

“Are you okay?” He seemed concerned as he closed the gap between your bodies, peering down at you.

“How did you know about them? Were you following us?” All those times you had been out somewhere and thought you saw someone in the corner of your eye or heard something behind you - had it been him all along? Or any of your other roommates? Were they all in on this?

“Remember when I said your boyfriend didn’t deserve you? I knew something was off that night when he didn’t answer your calls.” Namjoon answers truthfully, looking into your eyes.

“Look, I appreciate the concern but can you just back off? It’s starting to creep me out.” You shuffled from one foot to another, looking away from him in discomfort.

“I can’t.” 

You looked back up at him, trying to conceal your gasp at his blatant disregard for your wishes. He reaches out to brush some of your hair away from your face as he sighs thoughtfully. A tense silence follows as you freeze where you stand, his words and actions making you stare at him in confusion. As much as his recent behavior had thrown you off guard, nothing could prepare you for what came out his mouth next. 

“I don’t know if I ever told you this before but once I find my target, I never let them go.” Your heart stutters in your chest as his thumb brushes across your cheek, dark eyes tracking the action casually. 

“Your target? What the fuck is wrong with you?” You pushed his hand away from your face, stepping back from him to create some distance. “You know what, I don’t care. Just stay the fuck away from me before I call the police.”

You turn your back on him as you move further down the street, which might not have been the smartest move around a seemingly dangerous person but you were eager to get out of his presence. Much to your surprise, he doesn’t follow you - or at least, you don’t hear him behind you at all. You’re almost too scared to check.

“YN.” Namjoon’s voice makes you jump, legs trembling as you turn slightly to look back at him standing in the exact spot you left him in. “I promise I’ll show you how much I care for you.”

You don’t respond, hurrying up the hill in an attempt to get to safety. He didn’t seem like he was planning on following you but that doesn’t stop you from turning around every few steps to ensure there is no one there, each time only finding the empty street. You do this the entire way until you find yourself at the hotel, so relieved to be back you could cry.

And when you finally flop down in your bed, that’s exactly what you do.

*****

An incessant buzzing sound slowly woke you from your slumber, lifting your head to blink blearily around the room in confusion. Your head was in such a fog you couldn’t remember where you were for a second. The only thing your mind could focus on was the source of the noise, pulling your phone from the nightstand and tapping at it to get it to shut up.

Once silenced, you laid your head back on the pillow in hopes to pick back up where you left off. Before you could even get close, the buzzing started up again much to your annoyance. You huffed, picking the phone back up and swiping to answer it.

“What-” Your tone is harsh, ready to lash out on your bitch of a best friend. As if sleeping with your boyfriend wasn’t enough, now she has to blow up your phone in a time like this.

“Where are you?” At Nayeon’s frantic tone, you felt yourself waking up a bit more.

“Why are you calling me?” You didn’t have time for this, moving to end the call and finally block her for good when her rushed voice stopped you.

“YN, this is serious. Tell me where you are.”

“I’m back at the hotel room,” Confused, you find yourself sitting up in the bed and running a hand through your hair. “Why?”

“Okay, stay there. I’m on my way.” She spoke quickly, the sound of metal jingling around in the background followed by a door slamming. It sounded like she was driving, which you knew was something she hated doing. This must be serious.

“Wait, what’s going on? I don’t want to see you-” You began, feeling your stomach turn at the thought of having to face your homewrecker of a friend right now. 

“Jiwan is dead.”

You don’t know how much time had passed from the moment the call ended to when Nayeon arrived at the hotel, the sound of loud knocking waking you up out of the daze you had been in. Standing up on wobbly legs, it felt as if you were floating as you made your way over to the door. The tremor in your hands made it a little difficult to unlatch the door but once it was open, your old friend breezed her way in.

You followed behind her slowly, feeling out of place despite it being your own room. Eventually, you found yourself getting back into your spot on the bed by the pillows. Being in a safe, comfortable position settled you a bit. Nayeon stood tense in front of the bed, arms crossed and her eyes looking anywhere but at you. In the back of your mind, you found her sudden change in character to be a bit ironic.

“W-what happened?” Your voice sounded far away, like it wasn’t connected to you at all. She finally looked up, her eyes meeting yours in a way that made your heart skip a beat.

“She was found dead in her apartment this morning. Someone killed her.” She answered quickly, sounding like her own mind was trying to wrap around it.

At that moment, it was like time stopped. There was no sound, not even Jiwan’s voice or your own breathing. The blood was rushing in your ears, throbbing almost painfully. You weren’t sure if you could actually hear your own heartbeat or if it was just the feeling of it pounding in your chest.

“YN?” You looked up to see her looking at you with a frown on her face. You don’t know what that look meant.

“I-I don’t understand. I just saw her the other day when I...” Almost choking on the words as it felt like your throat was closing up, you stopped yourself from continuing that sentence. “How did she die?”

“What I heard was that someone broke in sometime during the night and strangled her. Nothing appeared to be stolen, so they think it was a targeted attack.” She explains, heaving a deep troubled sigh.

You didn’t even know what to think or say. None of it made any sense to you. Sure, Jiwan wasn’t the most enjoyable person to be around but how could she be gone just like that? You were one to talk, after scalding her with a hot beverage just the other day. The thought made you gasp a little, eyes widening as the entire situation registered in your mind. God, you probably looked so guilty.

“Where were you?” Nayeon’s voice breaks you out of your train of thought, eyes snapping back up to see a cautious expression on her face.

“What do you mean?” Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Like last night... after you left.” She waved her hand around in a hurried explanation.

“I came here. I’ve been here the whole night.” You explained carefully, trying to figure out where she was going with this. “Why?

“Just wondering.”

Your jaw dropped in shock, reeling back to look at her incredulously, “You think I did it.” 

“No, I mean- I don’t know what to think.” She sighs, running a hand over her face in frustration. 

“Look, you have to admit you might be considered a suspect after everything. What with the way she was harassing you for weeks and your history...”

“Are you kidding me? I know I’ve had anger problems in the past but I’m not a killer.” You huff irritably, crossing your arms over your chest like a child.

“In the past? YN, you threw boiling hot water on that woman just the other day. You clearly have some unchecked anger here.” She gives you a look and now you truly feel like a child being scolded. “Plus, I’m sure finding out about me and Jihoon didn’t help-”

“Oh my god, I can’t believe this!” You snap at her, frustration oozing from your form as you pinched your nose. She made you feel like you were crazy. Maybe you were. “No, wait- what I can’t believe is that I’m actually talking to you right now.”

“Okay, let’s just be calm. I know I’m probably the last person you wanna see but let’s face it, you’re gonna need all the help you can get. Jihoon and I were the last people who saw you last night.”

“Where is Jihoon anyway?” You don’t bother looking at her, annoyed that you are even asking her about your boyfriend’s whereabouts. 

“I don’t know.” At her simple response, you snap your gaze back up at her accusingly. She shifts uncomfortably in her spot, awkwardly avoiding your glare.

“What? You guys didn’t sleep together last night?” You laugh bitterly despite not at all finding the situation humorous. “Isn’t that why you practically forced me to stay at this hotel?”

She heaves out a sigh, as if she’s stressed over the situation. “Look, I understand you hate me right now but I actually came here to help you. I was worried about you.”

“Oh, please-” You were ready to go off on her again when the buzzing of your phone interrupted you. Picking it up, you rolled your eyes at the sight of the caller ID. Speak of the devil.

“What-” The sound of heavy breathing and pained groans made you pause, listening intently to the other line. “Jihoon?”

“YN...” You had never heard your boyfriend’s voice sound like that, so helpless and weak. Jihoon had always been calm, almost monotone. Something was definitely wrong.

“What’s wrong?” You felt the bed dip as Nayeon quickly sat next to you, her ear now pressed up to the phone as well.

The line was silent for a while, your heart pounding in your chest as you waited for a response. Just when it looked like Nayeon was about to lose her composure and grab the phone from you, the call ended. You stared down at the screen in shock, not understanding any of it.

“What the fuck, call them back!” You startled at the sound of Nayeon’s panicked voice, fingers nervously tapping at your screen to redial when a text came in.

The picture that had come in looked like something from a horror movie. Jihoon was tied to what looked like a dentist’s chair, cuts and bruises littering the exposed skin of his face and hands. His clothes were torn and dirtied with blood in some places. But the scariest part of all were his eyes - once always so bright and beautiful behind his glasses were now shut, the skin around them puffy and purple. He looked dead.

Nayeon barely had time to look at the picture before the phone started ringing again. The two of you stared at each other in shock for a moment. You felt as if you were on auto-pilot, just letting her take the reins as she answered the call with shaking hands.

“What did you do to him?” Nayeon spoke, her voice thick with emotion. You couldn’t hear their response but it clearly only served to make her more upset if her pinched facial expression proved anything. “I don’t care if you want to talk to her - put Jihoon on!”

“I’d be nice to me if I were you, seeing as your lover’s life is in my hands. Put YN on right now,” Nayeon had already done it before he said it, and you weren’t prepared for it when he suddenly addressed you. “Are you listening, YN?”

“Yes.” You cringed at how weak your voice sounded.

“Your boyfriend wants to see you. You shouldn’t have run away, YN.” 

“Don’t you dare touch him!” Strangely enough, you were glad Nayeon was here because you weren’t sure if you would have had the courage to speak on your own.

“Why not?” There was the sound of shuffling on the other end before he heaved a deep sigh. “He means nothing to me.”

“You sick bastard, I’ll kill you!” You flinched at how loud Nayeon got, her features twisted in anger. In the back of your mind, you wondered if she might break your phone from how tightly she was gripping it.

“I’m planning a special get-together for the roommates tonight, YN. I’d really love it if you came... and you can bring your friend I guess.” You could practically hear his eye-roll through the speaker. “If you try to call the police or run away again, I’ll know. Don’t make me upset or you’ll regret it.”

There was a pause as you both tried to process his words, not understanding his plan but knowing it couldn’t be good. Nayeon opened and closed her mouth a few times, clearly as stunned as you felt.

“I’ll be waiting here for you.”

taglist: @min-mingii @micheleinumaki @potaetopic @namjinieesope @mageprincess7 @minshookie29 @outro-kook @nikipedia07 @axniyx @kittykatfey @peaceout97 @kurodach @bex-tk1 @sa7kou @purpuravm @doublebunv @amylouisecullen @rossemayme @unsureofwhathappens @sleepy-time-dreamy @anushaackerman @shyloh-the-cornsnake  @toughbook @urbanbts @carpioassists @millenniumspec @maliyachan @lovely247 @croctears @uarmyhore @shadoweepingscream @inlovewiththehpcast @jcrml​

A/N: welp... a lot of shit hit the fan in this one ngl😅 lmk what u think but also pls be nice!! hehe i know some ppl didn’t want them to cheat but i had to do it for the plot lmao im sorryyy. we’re almost all the end tho only one more chapter to go and then the craziness will end woooo

[unseisokel]

Beginners Guide to Unnämed AKA U-san

Plus a little history on how they are friends with Shoto

Writing this incase any new Guildies come across my fics or fanart without Knowing.

I'll try to source things when possible, but some things are just left to quotes and summaries from U-san's twitter spaces other people made because they themselves don't keep the space up after each one ends.

Some Basic Background Information:

Unnämed, or more commonly called U-san, is a independent, nonbinary Japanese musician and vocalist, you can find their Twitter here

At the time of writing they have released one original song and 3 covers, find them on whatever music service you use through their Tunecore

They hold YouTube streams after the release of every song, typically giving life updates, singing karaoke, and thanking people who support them through super chats or streamlab donations

They sporadically hold random twitter spaces for shorter life updates or just to rant about something, as of writing they never once keep the recordings for these spaces

They had their first stream on December 17, 2022. It was an unarchived acoustic karaoke stream, roughly an hour long, mostly One OK Rock songs, their favorite band.

A Little History:

They would host several twitter spaces in the time leading up their full "return." Artist @/ooukination on twitter has a neat little comic summarizing that time period.

February 5th 2023, they drop their first original song, simply named Summer Song, marking an end to their elusive and silent era, now being more active on Twitter, and not deleting tweets a few minutes after making them.

The Fans and the Fan Culture

We used the nickname U-san to refer to them in the time before they acknowledged it, because they still hadn't decided on a name for themselves, only having "unnamednow" as a twitter handle, so it was a bit of a place holder, but on a twitter space U-san expressed that they found the name cute, and so U-san has endured.

In absence of any word of a return or any real way to reach them, the #dear_u_san was created by fans on twitter wanting to send their words of encouragement and fanart.

Pre-Summer Song depictions of U-san only had their YouTube and Twitter icon to go off of, they overlapped to give us this:

Half of a face and a hand reaching hold out a blue flame. Fanartists of the time would either obscure their top half their face with long bangs, exaggerated shadows covering their eyes, or a cloth/paper over the face (to symbolize their "death" as it were)

U-san has two main variations of how they depict themselves in their MV's, a blue eyed, black haired individual we see in Summer song, and a version with white hair with yellow eyes featured in Shinunoga E-wa, later taking up the entirety of the Tot Musica screentime, and now both of them sharing the spotlight in the most recent release, Kickback.

Before the release of Summer song all we had was U-sans twitter icon which started off with no color but was updated to include some colors, their hair staying white.

The pre Summer Song fanart had almost always had white hair as a result.

But afterwards when we got the "true" U-san appearance with Summer Song, fans were left questioning the significance of this white haired icon that U-san notably kept even when they updated their twitter header to the new Kanishiima illustration. It wouldn't be until Shinunoga E-wa that they changed their icon- using the one shot out of four with their white hair. This pattern of having a white haired icon and the black haired banner keeping true even now.

To draw a distinction between the two, Ooukie proposed the nicknames U-Shiro and U-Kuro, sometimes shortened to just Shiro and Kuro by other u-rei's.

The blue flame was on their original icon(s) was adopted by fans as a sort of mascot, Ooukie to my knowledge being the first to do so here

With nothing but an empty space and a crumb of a self portrait, U-reis started brainstorming (more like trying to make a universe to subsequently justify in universe) why they were absent and illusive, ex. Here, again from Oouki

We kind of didn't have any kind of consensus on a fan name until Ooukie again, supplied us with U-rei, which quickly spread, eventually making its way to U-san acknowledging it on stream, giving their approval on stream

Outside of the usual U-rei depiction of a small blue flame guy, others began to make 'sonas/ oc's to play around with the loose idea of U-san as a character and a type of world they would reside in, which lead to the twitter hashtag #u_rei_sona

U-rei-sona's typically are spirits, mythical beings, ghosts, and any manner of being that can be connected to the idea of death and rebirth, which is what U-san went through sort of in a meta narrative kind of way

He was among the many viewers of U-sans first livestream, the unarchieved karaoke, vague tweeting his thoughts on his main and alt accounts

Shoto and U-san's History

Later during his subathon happening a few days after U-san's stream, he dedicated a song a friend he didn't explicitly name but was certainly alluding to U-san by the way he described this friend and how this song and band was one of their favorites. See full clip here

That was it for a while until Summer Song released, and we (the public) saw them both interacting, sharing their similar struggles with broken eye glasses, their choice in earrings and plenty of private interactions I'm sure, that we aren't privy to

Shoto would invite U-san to accompany him on his Dead Space Remake streams which as of writing of this post, there are two that U-san features in (here and here)

During a bathroom break on the first stream, U-san tells us that he's thankful for Shoto, because they didn't have a lot of people to interact with, watch the full clip

Then finally, recently they met irl during Shoto's vacation to Japan, where they lost an hour of their time to Tokyo station confusion, U-san talks about the experience in their KickBack after party stream and I'm sure Shoto will tell his half of the story when he goes to stream to talk about his vacation

We knew they had met before U-san told the tale on stream because both made voice tweets only a few hours before U-san's Kickback cover was due to release.

.....and that's about it yeah! This is just a starter guide, I didn't even get into the theories surrounding U-san's music vids the possible lore implications if they're all connected, how U-san dodges questions about their hair color changing and the imagery of drowning they used-

There's a lot to be had here, and U-san's career is just getting started! They have told us time and time again that our donations and support are going directly to fund future projects, so there are surely more great things in store for us.

If you have read this far uhhh thank you? If you found this helpful be sure to share it to spread the U-san agenda.

[vomitdodger]

11 Sep 2023. Comrade Blinken announces the FORTY EIGTH aid package for Ukraine.

Pure corruption. Payoffs to hide all the Biden evidence. Kickbacks for comrade Zelensky. Money laundering to benefit them all.

Meanwhile…good luck Maui and that $700 one time payment. While the death toll is STILL at 115 despite thousands initially missing. Now the missing is supposedly down to 66. These numbers do not make sense. How could thousands be missing for weeks and weeks and suddenly it’s a mere 66…per officials. And without social media you don’t know what really going on. Trying to internet search these aspects you get nothing but algorithmic mockingbird main stream media. None of this makes sense.

[justsomeguycore]

i saw a genre category on some streaming platform called Chilling and i was so confused when i looked at what was in there because they meant Chilling like “sending chills down your spine” but i thought they meant like hanging out. i was like yeah i guess hannibal is a classic living room kickback type thing to throw on

[itsachillesbtch]

Octavian Lore part 2 ! (childhood - 3rd year)

again, tw for crucio abuse !

Since befriending Somerild (@sunglow-fae), Ephias thought it would be best for Octavian to spend more time with the Lovells. Brother Sister bond commences...

They are shipped off to Hogwarts together, sorted into Hufflepuff together, and really, all of first year Tavi hung to Somer like a leach. He was, of course, socializing with others!

He tried out for Quidditch first year and, shockingly, was put on the team as a beater. What better way to release pent-up rage, hm? This is how he meets Kyle (@cynosure404 ), a Gryffindor :] He wasn't exactly fond of him persay, but Kyle was funny and seemed to have the same friends he did.

Octavian joined the dueling club as another way to get out his frustration. He hadn't really put much thought into it when he used Crucio for the first time. If anything, the kickback of it made him feel gentle shocks, soothing the pain in his arms and shoulders from Quidditch practices.

He casted Crucio more frequently in his duels, something to make the other person(s) fear the way he held himself. Something that would scare them into surrender. He didn't mean to hit anyone with it.

Other than that, the first year wasn't all too bad for him. And of course, he returned to the Lovell's again for the first month of their summer break, and then back to his own home in Wales.

The second year came, and it was far more exciting than he'd expected it to be. Daniel finally introduced the group to his mystery friend, and shockingly, Tavi remembered him from their shared transfiguration course. Aslan (@ix-astra ), he said his name was.

Another two he casted Crucio on. He still didn't understand why they reacted the way they did. It wasn't that bad. He knew it wasn't. The burning metal he tasted on his tongue was they only bad part about it that he could remember.

They formed their own little group, a total of 6, 14 if they included the others (the Pit), but it was The Six. He mever had this sort of thing before. Nobody ever really approached him.

Rumors finally started settling in. Rumors that You Know Who was back in the form of a 12 year old boy. Octav knew who his grandparents were. He was reminded of them every time he had to step into Comet Manor. But he never expected it to follow him here. Follow him to the place where he didn't have to be the Dark Lord's blood.

Of course, when the dada teacher brought in a snake for class one day, Tavi could talk to it. He wasn't very good at Parseltongue, but he could understand everything the snake said. The teacher never brought in another snake.

Summer between the second and third. Delphi got angry too often now, ranging from small bits of malice to large fits of rage that ended up usually with Atliar patching Ephias up with a few potions. When Delphi got bored of Ephias, she turned to Octavian.

This is how Tavi ended up on the Lovell doorstep at 4 am, a large gash from the tip of his shoulder down to his elbow from his apparation backfiring, soaked from the rain. He'd never forget how quickly they took him in.

The third year came, and nothing really exciting happened that he would even care about. The bullying started weakly, and he brushed it off. Nothing truly remarkable happened until a few days before they went on summer break.

Quidditch had their last practice. Him and Fischer waited on the pitch for Kyle and Colby to finish their duel, and Tavi had the greatest idea and offered Fischer a run for his money. The rest of the Pit waited in the stands for them to get their last bouts of energy out, but was caught off guard by the long stream of green shooting from Tavi's wand, and Fischer screaming out, four times.

[my-shields-are-down]

Karaoke #2 - Because Tim loves 80s Classic New Wave

“OK OK OK! Thank you Luna and Wade for that weird but really excellent version of “Islands in the Stream” by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton! Tim - you have a very… um… eclectic list of songs for our singers to choose from, did you make it this random on purpose?” Angela asks of the tipsy and relaxed birthday boy. “Why don’t you come up on stage for the Grand Finale?”

The MidWilshire crew + friends had packed the karaoke/burger joint on Sunset and had basically taken it over for Tim’s surprise birthday celebration.

For the past three weeks, Nyla, Lucy and Angela had been asking Tim’s friends and family about his favorite songs. Rachel, Isobel and Genny had come through with most of the songs on the diverse song list. But it was Tim himself who provided the last two songs of the evening, the ones that Lucy heard him sing in the shower or when he was cooking and cleaning - when he thought he was alone.

Everyone by now knew that Lucy was a phenomenal singer, so Angela waited a few minutes for everyone to refresh their drink, come back inside, or take a last minute bio break. Angela told the crowd her favorite Tim birthday story from when they were rookies and had to arrest the second largest pumpkin farmer for smuggling cocaine in his pumpkins at the County Fair and then had to break up a pie fight that broke out during the pie eating contest. Their shops had smelled of blueberries and pumpkin for weeks.

Backstage, Lucy was once again thanking her very special guest star for coming out for this party and going over the timing of her entrance during the first song and then discussing the harmonies Lucy would sing during the second song. Once they had it figured out, Lucy waved to Angela who came back to check on Lucy and was immediately star-struck by her guest. Lucy laughed and told Angela this is what happens when you delegate - you miss out on some kick-ass connections.

Thankfully, Angela pulled herself together and walked back onstage. She asked for the lights to be dimmed and turned to Tim and said, “happy birthday. Please welcome to the stage - The newly minted Lucy Bradford!”

Lucy stepped on stage and waved to the crowd, then leaned down and kissed her husband and said to him, “because you love classic 80s new wave, this one’s for you.”

The synthesizer began to play and the older members of the crowd who knew either the original version or the more recent remake started cheering and clapping. Tim’s eyes lock on Lucy as he beginsto sing along…

“funny how I find myself, in love with you

If I could buy my reasoning, I'd pay to lose, one half won't do

I've asked myself, how much do you, commit yourself?

It's my life, don't you forget, It's my life, it never ends (it never ends)”

During the very brief interlude before the second verse starts, Lucy turns to the audience and says, “Please welcome to the stage, my new best friend, Mrs…..”

+++++++++++

By total random chance, one of the cases Lucy had helped crack several months ago had closed and the evidence from an upstart “bling ring” where celebrity pooches were having their diamond encrusted accessories stolen needed to be returned to the animal owners. Her second to last return after listening to Harrison Ford regale her and Aaron with baby beagle stories from the set of the last Indiana Jones movie, was to the woman standing next to her on stage. Her blonde labracorgidoodle mutt had a four carat collar returned and she and Lucy hit it off instantly, probably because the dog loved Lucy on sight. When the woman asked to be called if there was any thing she could ever do, Lucy immediately thought of this night 11 months later. Lucy had checked with Wade, IA and HR to make sure she wasn’t going to be accused of accepting kickbacks or anything and got the all clear.

+++++++++

Lucy turns to the audience and says, “Please welcome to the stage, my new best friend, Mrs. Blake Shelton, Gwen Stefani!” The crowd roars and Tim’s jaw drops to the floor of the stage.

He swivels on his bar stool so fast his Burger King crown almost falls off - and there before him in motocross pants, red checkered vans and a black/red “No Doubt” T-shirt stands the only woman he would ever consider leaving his wife for. Tim’s face morphs into a dreamy, yet bashful smile and his cheeks turn pink as Gwen leans over and kisses his cheek before stepping around him to finish singing It’s My Life - the version she and her band No Doubt made famous in 2003 - 20 years after the original version by Talk Talk burst onto radios everywhere.

Once done, Gwen leads the crowd in a rousing version of “Happy Birthday” to Tim who smiles and hugs Lucy close to him. Then Lucy nods to Gwen who says, “I hear this is your favorite song, so I dedicate it to you from Lucy.”

As the opening notes of “Don’t Speak” begin to play, Tim begins to cry. He’s overwhelmed with emotions watching his favorite singer, sing his favorite song with his absolute favorite person. Their voices blending beautifully during the song’s melancholic verses and chorus. He realizes this whole restaurant is full of people who love him (well they love Gwen right now) but they love him too. He never imagined a life with this much joy and love before Lucy came around. If this moment is a glimpse of his future with Lucy? He’ll take it and then some. He pulls Lucy close as the song ends and nods to Gwen. He nuzzles Lucy’s neck and whispers “best birthday ever.”

[katscatnip]

Listening to one song on repeat

My experience with listening to a certain sound or song on repeat for long periods of time.

Shown below all this text is my most recent streams on Spotify. as you can see,, there is just one song listed, and that's because It's all I've listened to for the past 2 days or so.

I have done this kinda thing sing as long as I recall having personal access and control over what I listen to. my earliest memories of it being the time my mom let me chose the song we play on the sound system (the song in question was Rock the Nation by Michael Franti) and i would constantly ask her to "play it again!" until she couldn't handle it anymore. Next it was when we bought the Curious George movie on CD and in the bonus features, there was a music video for the song played earlier in the movie Upsidedown by Jack Johnson (again was eventually asked to stop playing it over and over lmao.

Next was when i was old enough to stay for the "after school program" it essentially let the kids get into fun toys and boardgames and such and what I would do every single time is find one of the three sony CD walkmen in the electronics box, put in the Shrek soundtrack cd and set SmashMouth's allstar to loop, then proceed to walk up and down the gym's left wall gliding my fingers against the textured grout for the next hour and a half to three hours depending if it was an extended day.

Next was another walkman, my older sibling's bf at the time would bring one over with him when he visited along with his latest playlist burned to a cd and would let me borrow it. this is when I heard the oh-so-familiar and desired FireFlies by Owlcity (my current fav song at the time that I could only hear on the car radio when going into town) where I would proceed to lie on my upper bunk bed in complete darkness and imagine I was in space.

Another time was when a different friend would bring over their iPod and I would loop a couple greenday and Metallica songs over and over (I don't remember the song names now lmao)

Fast forward to my teen years im actively annoying my siblings after playing a song 7 times too many. yada yada ya-

I am aware of that now,,

my friends have been pointing out traits that were worth looking into for a while and I finally did and ya. when I went in they said it was not hard to notice and identify it from the moment I walked in the door.

Anyway, this post isnt about that its actually about how self-aware and insecure I've become from having others perceive this part of me. I've never really had any bad experiences aside from the occasional family member shout at me to "stop playing the same song" which is whatever.

The real issue for me is things like Spotify Wrapped and the idea that what I listen to as an auditory stim is perceived as my "taste" in music and such. i guess its rooted in maintaining a kind of character in the social aspect, and feeling like I have to make what I listen to look palatable to peers and that means having a high listen count and knowledge of artists whose music has meaning and depth while also not being caught listening to the opposite (breakcore, hyperpop, noise, goofy nonsensical hip-hopy stuff, etc)(?)

Which I'm finding to be stackingly exhausting and I think I've trying this year and lastyear to give myself the grace of being me and not conforming to the shape I feel pressured to fit into.

I hear and read a lot of peer's takes or reviews on music and such (which I think is important to have ofc) but it kinda feels to cliquey for me to feel fully comfortable being in those circle's conversations.

sometimes i just like the noises and vibration pattern coming from a specific artist's stuff and don't take in or care about the meaning or depth of a song's lyrics,, anyways yeah. here's some of the semi-recent past loops: (noise warning on some!🔊) 757, Hollywood baby, Improved mashcore, kickback, 3 o'clock things, Being so normal, Uncanny long arms, Leg room, Stuck Inside

below is my current song backslide by 21 Pilots. the tapeworm synth and silly bass drops itch the itch good :+)

[blubberquark]

Blog Meta vs Tumblr Meta

When I started this tumblr, I wanted to post about game development and game design. I followed other game developers, and I posted about game design, WiP screenshots and art assets, and links to finished games. Later I started an aesthetic sideblog (reblub.tumblr.com), and posted some programming tutorials to this tumblr. Programming is not really something that interests followers who want to know when I have released a new game, or who want to reblog WiP pixel art. Then I stopped worrying and broadened the range of topics on this main blog to opinions on computer literacy, teaching programming, and contributing open source. It's my blog and you can't stop me. I might post some cooking recipes. Maybe it even helps promote my games.

If I wanted to go all-out on promoting my games, I would post a lot more visually interesting WiP stuff, and game design ideas that are directly related to games I am promoting, broken down so players who don't design their own games understand them. I would have to manually cross-post everything on mastodon, twitter, instagram, tiktok, and so on.

If I wanted to go all-out about programming tutorials, I should probably host them somewhere else. The NPF tumblr post editor does not do code blocks, or maths. I could make a series of hyperlinked pages and host them on my own domain, or I could record some screencasts and sell a course, but not on tumblr.

I don't want to do either of those anyway. I want to keep this tumblr relatively noise-free, I don't want to be my own full time social media manager posting gifs every day, and I don't want to sell webinars or online courses. I just want to keep making games, occasionally.

When tumblr enabled ads on blogs, and not just on the dashboard, I noted the lack of kickbacks for blog posters.

When Posts+ was announced, I thought about posting more gamedev tutorials. There is probably a small audience out there who would want to learn GameDev from me, but they might not be enough people to make it financially viable, and they are probably not willing and able to pay me enough. The people who are on tumblr already don't want to buy gamedev tutorial content, and when they do, they don't want to do so on tumblr.

With every new tumblr feature, I noted that it doesn't really help me write one or two posts a month. It doesn't help me publish or monetise the kind of content I want to write. The tip jar is more compatible with the way content spreads through tumblr than posts+, but it's not what I need.

The only way I can monetise a gamedev tumblr is by posting viral gifs of my game, and directing them to other platforms:

getting people to wishlist the game on Steam

promoting my itch.io page

promoting a Patreon

promoting a podcast

promoting a KickStarter

selling branded t-shirts

funnelling them into my Discord

There is no good way to monetise devlog content, game development tutorials, or long-form blog posts on tumblr.

This feels mildly concerning, but maybe it's okay. I know that many game developers started a Patreon for their podcast, a YouTube channel, a twitch stream, or a TikTok, only for that to become a larger source of revenue than their game sales. As they work on their next title, and try to drum up hype for Steam wish lists, cross-promote other games, appear on podcasts, the sales from their last game dwindle, and the revenue from YouTube ads and twitch donations grows. They are basically professional YouTubers at that point, or professional programming coaches, but without the actual game in the end, it doesn't work.

On the other hand, tumblr can still monetise me. I could decide to blaze some pretty screenshots, some .gifs, and gain followers and wishlists.

I don't know where this leaves artists on tumblr though. Tumblr is full of pixel artists who take commissions. Tumblr is full of old school oil on canvas artists. Their interests aren't aligned with the platform. Tumblr doesn't earn anything when they do commissions, and the artists don't earn anything when ads are shown on the dash next to their reblogged original content.

With all this in mind, tumblr live makes some sense.

In the mean time, I'll have a look at cohost, and I might re-work some of my drafts that require elaborate formatting into a longer-lived web site. And maybe I'll write some games!

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

Don't Care. Ban Minors.

Now that I've posted that hot take let me express WHY I'm talking about it.

Let me first start with the fact I'm aware that not all the people I'll be talking about are minors. But certainly they are involved and tend to be swept up in these trends and are often far more aggressively violent than people whom are older. Always? No. Maybe not even mostly. But it's the trend that it IS the case. (More Below)

So JoCat, responsible for this gem right here:

Is trending on Twitter because he's effectively been bullied off the internet. And according to him not only has he been doxed and harassed. But his FAMILY have been getting strange packages in the mail supposedly without labels on them other than the "To" address.

And he more or less recently stated:

Now I DO feel bad for him. I'm not going to say I don't. Because I do honestly think that this isn't ok.

However, having said that, during the Hogwarts Legacy harassment campaign, this is what he said:

Normally, I'd respond with, "Well you dug your grave, now lie in it" but not in this case. Because I still feel bad for his family in all of this. However, in modern day western culture, in no way is "Trans people are in danger" an honest statement. Does violence against trans people happen? Yes. However in a lot of cases worked by people who are NOT anti trans, the often land on the conclusion that the violence against them is NOT because they are trans.

Which funnily annoying thing about social politics. People will conflate things to make their narrative look better. If two people get into a spat in a relationship, and violence occurs, and the person effected happens to be trans, that becomes a stat of, "Violence against a trans person". But the issue isn't that there was violence here. (Well I mean it is AN issue but it's not THE issue I'm speaking about). No, the issue is that this is the same as when hospitals were getting kickbacks during Covid. And every case of death with Covid was more or less a promise of a payout from the taxpayers. Why do I bring this up?

Because Death WITH Covid and Death FROM Covid were never the same. And yet there were people died in car wrecks who HAPPENED to have Covid. And the reports would read, Motorcyclist dies from Covid, and then any article written would go, "Died from Covid. *Bottom of the article* Was in a recent motorcycle wreck and rushed to hospital where they died"

You see the issue there? Same with violence against trans people or anyone for that matter. Often it does not happen BECAUSE of who they are, it happens because of personal conflict between two people.

*This completely ignoring the middle east Olympic sport of competitive gay toss* (Yeah it's not a laughing matter but it's basically the truth)

My point is, Banning Minors from social media would help mitigate this issue a lot. And I believe that it would very much curb most of the harassment online as well as the doxing by a lot. It would also remove a lot of the nuclear takes from other forms of social media and Corporations can stop letting minors steer the conversation for what they think is a "good idea".

But this is also a good way for me to talk about the bigger issue of harassment online. Aside from who all is partaking in it. Criticism is more than ok when you think someone does something wrong. But what happened during the Hogwarts Legacy fiasco was NOT ok. "Oh we are just criticizing people for playing the game and endangering trans lives by telling people to kill themselves......,and then bringing many many many other people to these streams and posts in order to dogpile on more and more and more and more and more."

And let me express what the difference is between dogpiling and bulk responses. Dogpiling is organized and coordinated. Often directly and purposefully orchestrated by someone. Bulk criticism is when you find out about something, or opt to look into a matter and decide that you want to share your thoughts on it. A lot of "Drama" channels which are more channels that cover less important news about pop culture and current events, tend to fall under the area of bulk criticism. Reason being, most of these media creators don't WANT people harassed. They just want people to be informed. Which isn't wrong. And you can say that "It invites dogpiling" but if the tell you that's not what they want, and they go out of their way to say, "I don't view you as a member of my community if I see you doing this" I'm going to take them at their word for the most part.

However, in the case of Hogwarts Legacy *abbreviated HL from now on*, these attacks were coordinated and planned. There were websites active online to help target people playing the game. This was organized. And the "reason" it was "OMG DANGER TO TRANS FOLX" was because why? It was an IP created by JK Rowling. The woman has money hand over fist. Any money she spends on anything is mostly a drop in the bucket for her. And she can easily just keep spending if she really wanted to.

However, her most egregious comments were that what? Biological women are biological women? And that she doesn't like the idea of mid 20 early 30 something males decimating women in sports? WOW THE HORROR. *Sarcasm*. But the game was not even made by her. And it HAD trans people in it last I heard. ALSO had one of the single most "Inclusive" character creators in almost any game at all.

BUT NO, we have to bankrupt the studio that would DARE try to make money off of a successful IP, harass and dox them. Make it so no other companies hire them. Because THEY WANTED TO MAKE A FUCKING VIDEO GAME! ABOUT MAGICAL FUCKING PEOPLE! And what's more, I don't see any of you boycotting Amazon or Microsoft. You know, who's heads are Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos. People who've probably donated to a NUMBER of things that have harmed others. Like idk. The UN, who's had scandal after scandal for bartering with poor nations to trade sex for work. Sometimes from kids. Or donating money to China who is currently ACTIVELY genociding the Uighurs, those people you supposedly care about. Oh sorry wait no you don't. You only pretend to care about Palestine because you think all Jews look white and you're anti-Semitic and believe in propaganda and stereotypes.

OH YEAH funny I bring that up. Because another claim against HL was that the game was Anti Semitic. Guess you can start buying it now huh. -_-

And this post pains me to make. Like it actually makes my head hurt. Because not only do we need to ban minors from social media. We also need to make sure that there is consequences for harassment, doxing etc. And since the advent of the internet, we've been getting further and further away from people actually being shamed or otherwise for doing evil shit like this.

Hell, take the movie Mean Girls. The entire movie is supposed to be a lesson in humility. You won't always be top dog, so maybe while you are, "On top", you don't fist fuck everyone else. Because one day the shoe might be on the other foot, and you might be the one being fist fucked. Like this scene so elegantly shows:

The full clip:

I feel like the internet is full of High schoolers that never grew the fuck up. Because be it games, anime, movies, comics, tv THIS. This is what I always see. Now while this movie is a teen flick and is partly exaggerated, there are a lot of consistencies in the movie with actual high school life for a number of people.

Certainly my girl had a mean girl clique. And they were the popular girls in school. Guys would humiliate other guys in front of them to try to impress them or make them laugh. Honestly I was one such person. It didn't work well for the guy that did it, but that's beside the point.

What I see online is this movie personified and magnified by 100. It's not just, "You can't sit with us" for these people. It's "YOU CAN'T SIT ANYWHERE! YOU DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE! HOW DARE YOU LIKE THAT CHRACTER FROM THE SHOW I HATE! I HOPE YOU LOW TEIR GOD!" *if you don't get that reference look it up*.

We've done fucked up as a society and I don't see it being walked back any time soon until we bring back the emotion of shame. Because a shameless society is a shit society.

[rubydreamsuwu]

I did something with kickback.

I'm thinking she's this gamer that randomly drops the strangest stories and details about herself on stream

I'm really proud of the headphones and hoodie combo honestly. Plus the emphasis on the legs because Grasshopper

Unfortunately she blends in with her chair

[centaurianthropology]

On Trying Things that Make You Nervous

I think there’s a real benefit in gaining life experience, choosing to do something you wouldn’t normally do, and learning from it. I’m not particularly into guns. My job has me seeing the end result of A LOT of gun violence (my area in particular is hot for it). I know what guns do to bodies.

I don’t have a lot of first-hand experience with guns, however. My work sponsored an educational two-day session in which we could all learn from firearm and tool-mark experts at the local crime lab. Day one was lecture. Day two was the range.

I got to watch various demonstrations with live fire, in a controlled environment, by experts. They showed us what various distance shots looked like under different conditions. They showed us a professional suppressor, a pillow suppressor, and a potato suppressor (it really is just a potato on the end of a gun). They showed us various types of guns, and even lit a shirt on-fire from the fire out of a black powder revolver.

After that it was our turn. They had selected a number of guns for us to shoot. I went in thinking I would fire a handgun, and maybe something larger if I was feeling spicy.

I ended up firing a .22 pistol, a 9 mm pistol, a Walther PPK, and then graduated to a 357 magnum revolver (the most kick of any of the guns that day), an MP5 (most common submachine gun in use), an M16 assault rifle, and a WWII M3 submachine gun. And you know what? It was fun. Would I do it again? Probably not, but I am genuinely glad I did it. There is something about a tactile experience that cannot be rivalled by mere intellectual understanding. And there is something about overcoming something that made me nervous. I was worried I would do it wrong. These things are deadly and dangerous, and I was worried I would hurt myself or someone else. I was worried about the recoil, about the noise, about doing something dumb and dislocating my shoulder.

Instead, I learned a lot. I learned how it feels to fire guns. I learned that a revolver has more kickback than a pistol because the barrel is above the plane of your hand, but that I preferred the revolver because it required you to manually pull the hammer back before it was dangerous again, and once I learned to control the kick, it was sort of fun. I learned that, despite being fairly weak, I could fire all the guns without trouble so long as my stance was good (and gun stance is so different, that took me a bit, but the instructors were great). I learned that with proper ear protection, the sound is fine, but you still feel the reverberation in your chest, particularly of large shotguns. I learned that handguns are, by and large, sort of a pain in the ass with a lot of fiddly bits and sticky springs (the 9 mm was the most comfortable and user friendly one, and even that was rather annoying). I learned that, weirdly, assault rifles are easier to use, more user friendly, and frankly more fun to shoot than handguns. I was only going to fire the M16 on semi-auto (one bullet per pull of the trigger) initially, but after I fired it and realized that it, as a heavy gun, had less kick than a handgun, I was willing to load up a clip and fire full-auto. And my instructor was right: you do feel weirdly awesome after having fired full auto. It’s 100% an adrenaline response, but I got the thrill that gun enthusiasts are into.

The M3 was my favorite, though. It was old, made entirely of metal. There was no wood, no plastic. It weighed a ton. It had no semi-auto mode. This was purely automatic. It also had no safety. Once it was loaded and a round was chambered, it would fire as soon as I pulled the trigger.

Modern assault rifles and submachine guns shoot VERY fast. It’s essentially a stream of bullets with no real time to grasp what you’re doing beyond that you are firing A LOT. The M3 was slower, a steady rhythm of fire that had just enough time between shots to steady and continue firing. It was FUN to shoot.

And that was what surprised me the most. I enjoyed it a lot. I had a great time. No, I’m not going to drop a ton of money on a gun, and I still very strongly believe in regulations and better oversight on who can own guns and even what sort. Because we do that for cars, which can also be deadly weapons. We can at least do that much for guns.

But at the same time, by actually putting myself out there, I do understand an enthusiast’s passion a little more. I get why people enjoy shooting for sport or going target shooting. I get why some people collect them, or are fascinated by the mechanics and the deeply dumb appeals to machismo that gun and ammo manufacturers are constantly trying to use to draw people in.

This is obviously not for everyone, but I think the broader lesson is: we can get too into our bubbles and our comforts. Sometimes breaking out of them, trying something intimidating or new or even a little scary can open your eyes to either a new hobby or interest of your own, or at least to a deeper understanding of those who are into that hobby or interest. And conquering small fears can feel fucking amazing. Firing that assault rifle was one of the more intimidating things I’ve done in a while, and then I realized that I had been scared of nothing. It was fine. So long as I was responsible, safe, and kept a good stance and grip, it didn’t hurt, and it was even surprisingly fun.

So get out there. Maybe don’t fire assault rifles or whatever, but try something that you’ve been intimidated by. And hopefully you’ll find either new fun or at least a better understanding.

[fiftytwotwentythree]

Wellness Wednesday:

Blah...

Blah - that's how my week was and that's how I feel.

It's been a relatively chill week, but lack of sleep, muscle soreness in my neck, a change at work, and general hangriness has been tipping my scales slightly towards the negative.

Truly it wasn't a bad week - I had some PTO, ate some good pasta (a lot of pasta), did some fun reading, saw some family, played games, watched some great "television"... but something just feels off.

I've had muscle soreness before and the sleep thing been a thing for a while... but I feel out of sorts... I feel like I need to get out of my house and shake it up a bit, but do what, I don't know. See a movie? Play a game...?

I keep coming back to needing/wanting sleep.

Sleep... and Barbecue. I wanted burger and hotdog off the grill.

In other news I am on the hunt for movies and shows to stream. Received a few suggestions this week. Always looking for more.

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28th CHECK-IN:

Current Goals:

Lose 52 lbs

Completed as of 4/12/2023

New Goal: Maintain or Continue on The Weight Loss Path

Avoid "Junk Food"

Minimize Take-Out / Fast Food Consumption

Short Term:

Vegetarian-ish Diet: Completed

End Date: 4/09/2023 - 46 Days Total

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Meal Tracker:

THURSDAY

Lunch:

(8) Pieces of Leftover Rana's Chicken and Roasted Garlic Ravioli with Prego Roasted Garlic Alfredo Sauce

- Green Beans

- Black Pepper

- Crushed Red Pepper

(3) Scoops of Cottage Cheese

Snack:

(2) Bowls of Valley Top Popcorn

Supper:

(6) Pieces of Leftover Rana's Chicken and Roasted Garlic Ravioli with Prego Roasted Garlic Alfredo Sauce

(1) Grilled Cheese Burger on a Hawaiian Bun

- Ketchup

(2) Small Oranges

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

FRIDAY

Lunch:

Bowl of Baked 5 Cheese Pasta with Honey BBQ Chicken

- Callentani Pasta

- Classico 4 Cheese Alfredo Sauce

- Ragu Double Cheddar Sauce

- Parmesan Cheese

- (3) Pieces of Jimmy Soules Honey BBQ Chicken

(1) Small Orange

Snack:

Large Bowl of Valley Top Popcorn

Supper:

Leftover Bowl of Baked 5 Cheese Pasta with Honey BBQ Chicken

- (2) Pieces of Jimmy Soules Honey BBQ Chicken

Corn Beef and Swiss on a Toasted Everything Bagel

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

SATURDAY

Lunch:

Leftover Bowl of Baked 5 Cheese Pasta with Honey BBQ Chicken

- (3) Pieces of Jimmy Soules Honey BBQ Chicken

(2) Small Oranges

Snack:

(2) Bowls of Valley Top Popcorn

Supper:

Leftover Bowl of Baked 5 Cheese Pasta

- (2) BBQ Hotdogs

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

SUNDAY

Lunch:

Spinach Dijon Salad

(2) Scoops of Broccoli Cheddar Pasta Salad

Snack:

(4) Bowls of Smartfood's White Cheddar Popcorn

Supper:

Chef Salad

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

(2) Small Oranges

MONDAY

Lunch:

Asian Style Salad

- Mandarin Oranges

Snack:

(2) Handfuls of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

Supper:

Chef Salad

(1) Small Orange

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

TUESDAY

Lunch:

Bowl of Mexican Style Street Corn Salad

Snack:

(2) Handfuls of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

Small Bowl of Valley Top Popcorn

Supper:

Bowl of Leftover Mexican Style Street Corn Salad

(2) Small Oranges

(1) Glass of Chocolate Milk

WEDNESDAY

Lunch:

StarKist Deli Style Tuna with Pepperjack Cheese on a Croissant

StarKist Sweet Chili Style Tuna with Pepperjack Cheese on a Croissant

(2) Scoops of Broccoli Cheddar Pasta Salad

Snack:

(2) Handfuls of Good & Gather's Tex Mex Trail Mix

(2) Large Bowl of Valley Top Popcorn

Supper:

Annie Chun's Teriyaki Noodle Bowl

- Cashews

(2) Small Oranges

(1) Glass of Milk

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Workouts:

THURSDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

FRIDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

SATURDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

SUNDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

MONDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

TUESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges [4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [5 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 set of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(5 min) Planks [5 Sets of 1 min]

WEDNESDAY

(200) Jumping Jacks [4 sets of 50]

(100) Glute Bridges[4 sets of 25]

(100) Push-Ups [10 sets of 10]

(100) Assisted Push-Ups [2 Sets of 50]

(50) Reverse Leg Lifts [5 sets of 10]

(50) Leg Kickbacks [5 sets of 10]

(100) Sit-Ups [5 Sets of 20]

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WEIGHT TRACKER:

Starting Weight (Noon, 1/01/2023): XXX.X lbs

Weight at Last Check-In, 7/05/2023: -1.0 lbs

Weight As of Noon, 7/12/2023: -1.0 lbs

Total Weight Loss: -78.2 lbs

.

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Closing Thoughts:

The Good:

Um.... Lost a Pound?

The Bad:

My neck is killing me - sore, tight, stiff...

Sad to report... I got Hangry on Sunday. It was like a full on Snickers Bar commercial.

The Ugly:

You guessed it... Ya Dude Needs Da Sleepa