#streaming to me was more of a 'come watch my process if youre interested' thing than an entertaining thing anyways. idk

[lucksea]

if the dmc or whatever wasnt a thing i would stream on twitch every day and just do this. while drawing this example i realized this would be almost exactly like those essay tiktoks where they have subway surfer playing at the bottom of the screen. unmedicated adhd experience

[neil-gaiman]

This isn’t a question, but I want to thank you for your books and how they’ve impacted my life.

Over thirteen years ago, I read Neverwhere for the first time and it changed what kind of writer I wanted to be. I went on to read more of your books—my other two favourites were The Graveyard Book and The Ocean at the End of the Lane.

About 11 or so years ago, I asked you on Twitter if I could read Stardust on a Twitch livestream, and you responded, “Fine by me”. It was one of my best streams, and while life got in the way of me doing more, I still remember it incredibly fondly.

Ten years ago I had a baby, and while he was an infant, I read him, Fortunately, the Milk, in an attempt to read him a book. He didn’t seem interested. I decided I’d try again some other time perhaps. But I did resolve to get him to read The Graveyard Book someday.

Nine years ago, when I was a mother of a one-year-old, I posted a status on Facebook simply saying, “We do not forget.”

Two years ago, I went on holiday, and I downloaded the audio book version of The Graveyard Book from our local library. My eight-year-old son listened to it as he fell asleep, though he ended up missing some parts, and we shelved it.

Last year, he read Coraline and didn’t like it. That isn’t your fault. He read Charlotte’s Web and didn’t like that either. He just didn’t quite have the understanding for them.

This year, he read Coraline and liked it. I told him it was from the same author as The Graveyard Book. He lamented that he never finished The Graveyard Book, and I said he could always download it from the library again.

Then about a month ago, he and I went through a tough time. I was really stressed about life, he wasn’t doing so well either, and our relationship got strained. I was angry with him all the time. I needed a break from him, or I thought I did. But one day when he was at his dad’s I realised that I wouldn’t get this time back. That I needed to fix it. So I asked him if he wanted me to read to him at bedtime. Just like when he was little. And we settled on The Graveyard Book.

On nights when he got to bed on time, I’d read a chapter. It often meant stretching past bedtime, but I could never stop halfway. It had been years since I’d read it too, and I found myself remembering things I’d forgotten. I’d watch his dark eyes widen whenever things got exciting, and I loved when he would interrupt me with an important revelation. “It’s Scarlett! His friend!” he’d say. “The dog! The grey dog!” “I know what Silas is!” He would tell me that I did the voices so well, that it seemed to match each character so perfectly.

We didn’t read every night, but it was a treat when we did. One night we had an argument and he told me he hated me. That he wished I was dead. And that he wanted to be with his dad. I told him to go take a shower, and that I’d ask his dad to come get him. His dad said no, but agreed to talk to him on the phone. After the shower, my son apologised for what he said. I said okay, and told him to call his dad to chat. After their call, he asked if we would still have story time. I asked if he preferred that or to have some space. He said he wanted both, but wanted story time more than space. So I read to him. It was the chapter when Bod and Silas argued, and then apologised to each other. Halfway through that chapter, my son asked for snuggles. I said, what happened to space? And he said, “I want snuggles more than space.”

We were sad when it ended. We finished it last weekend. I cried as I read it. But it was a beautiful sadness. We’ve talked about it a bit since then, to process it. He says he would like to read more about Silas and Bod’s adventures and asked if there was fan fiction about it. I told him to look, and to write some if there wasn’t. Perhaps I’ll write some too, just for him.

Last night he was at his dad’s and I was browsing Facebook and sent him a couple of his old pictures. Then I found an old post. From exactly nine years ago. And so I sent it to him.

It brought tears to my eyes. I did not remember making that post, and I’ve forgotten a great deal over the years, but I hope I do not forget these little moments with my son. But even if I do, I have them written down here to remind me again.

And thank you. For the words you’ve written and the impact you’ve had on our lives and hearts. I hope that your life holds the same amount of joy and love that you’ve given to others with your words.

That made me so happy. Thank you. I hope you and your son keep growing together.

[thisisthinprivilege]

How can I overcome internalized fatphobia? How can I not hate what I look like when I'm fat?

This is going to be a different process for everyone, so I'm not sure what will work for you. I will let you know what worked for me, and hopefully you find it helpful.

Deprogramming Step One: Coming to grips with having been programmed in the first place. Beauty standards change from age to age, they are not inborn as far as our research is able to conclude. There's perhaps a weak preference for facial symmetry, but that's about it. Weight-based beauty standards have not only varied wildly through human history, they vary in our very own era, between-cultures. Often what we believe we find beautiful has been programmed into us from a very early age. There's no conspiracy, it's simply how cultural preferences are transmitted within-culture: through the adults we look up to, media, and reinforced by peers. That's not to say deprogramming is a simple matter. It's very difficult. I wonder now, almost 15 years after starting my own journey to deprogram myself, whether who I find beautiful or attractive is rooted in beauty standards I saw reflected as a kid or teen.

Deprogramming Step Two: Define and avoid thin-centric messaging. A big part of this for me was controlling the media I consumed. I unsubscribed to cable, for instance, because of the intrusive and omnipresent weight loss ads. That was 15 years ago, but it's surprising how similar some streaming services/channels are in terms of ad length and intrusiveness these days. Unfortunately, tiktoks/reels aren't entirely controllable. Even though I don't consume weight loss or diet content, weight loss/diet tiktoks/reels pop up occasionally. Besides ads, you should also consider whether your magazines, books, movies, and shows over-focus on the stories of thin people, or demonize fat people. Obviously, stop watching exploitative shows that turn the lives of fat people into sideshows or sob stories. More controversially, you might want to temporarily unsubscribe or mute fat activist content. Fat activism is a highly stressful space where we confront the hatred of fat people explicitly. It's not great for deprogramming thin-centric messaging, because fat activists will be talking about thin-centric messaging from a critical perspective. Take a break, for a while.

Deprogramming Step Three: Exposure to fat-positive content. This is the fun part of the process, where you get a chance to rewrite the aesthetic coding in your brain! I suggest searching out fat models who wear the kind of clothing you like, fat role models who share your interests, fat positive videos showcasing fat people doing amazing things, fat positive art, fat positive fiction and movies, and so on. Fatshion is full of fat positivity. Be wary of "body positive" content, as it can still be subtly or explicitly fatphobic. I warn you, after a few months of exposure to a different aesthetic, thin-centric media is gonna look hella strange. You'll go to see some romcom-flavor-of-the-month movie and be like, "Where are all the fat people? Why is everyone super skinny?"

Deprogramming Step Four: From theory to practice. This step is about starting to wear the clothes you want to wear, being loud and proud to exist as a fat person in public, being romantically bolder if romance is your thing, being more assertive and confident in your body, traveling to the places you've always wanted to go, doing things you were holding back doing before, etc. You may need to dwell in Step Three for a while, or revisit it over and again, in order to complete Step Four. This doesn't mean becoming an activist. This means becoming your authentic self without fat-related qualms. Yes, you will still be constrained by the greater world around you. Traveling, going out to eat, dating, interviewing for jobs, even going to a fucking concert will present constraints and bigotries that smaller people (everything else held equal) don't have to face. But you can now see them as constraints placed on you, not as constraints you place on yourself or that are in any way deserved. Hopefully, you will be able to face them without it destroying your sense of self-worth.

Deprogramming Step Five: The authentic self...? We know that as fat people we are not morally or otherwise inferior to thin(ner) people. So what does it mean to leave our best and most authentic lives, as fat people? This is the human question, that all humans share with each other equally. We are connected to each other, each on our own grand journey to answer this question. When you are able to separate the sociocultural difficulty of being a fat person in a fat-hating society from your own life journey, you have one less barrier to manage in answering the great human question. At this stage, you'll feel calm and comfortable in your body, and surprised when people point out your fatness or treat you differently for it. They're distracted by false moral categories, while you have better things to do. Does anyone ever permanently dwell in this stage? Probably not. But I feel like this most of the time, now. It takes a lot to drag me back into the world where one of the worst things you can call another human is "fatty." I've got books to read and write, math to learn, art to create. A life to live, where my possibilities are not defined by the size of my body.

-ArteToLife

[mins-fins]

dal segno.

&&. you're in a car with a beautiful boy, but he's unfortunately not yours anymore.

pairing: xiao dejun x m!reader

genre: angst

warnings: implied sexual content, kind of toxic relationship, they are both so incredibly pathetic

word count: 1.2k

notes: hello this is a voiceless isa reporting, i am suffering with the most horrible sickness to ever be bestowed upon me (the common cold) and i was originally supposed to post this yesterday but i fell asleep in the middle of my writing process so yeah 👍 also i have a class in like an hour so i just wanna publish this now and be done with it 😿

you're asleep for a while.

sleeping in a car has never truly been your thing, ever since you were a kid, you could never ever fall asleep in a car even after how tired you were. the fact that you were able to doze off, even with the clear tiredness you exhibited, was odd.

you wonder what kind of change was in the air caused for you to finally doze off in the car..

when you wake up, it is not morning, which you honestly expect because you had only fallen asleep for a few minutes, you can tell because guanheng is still inside, chatting up with his friends or whatever.

if guanheng is still inside, that means the one person you do not want to see right now is still right beside you in the drivers seat.

dejun doesn't seem to register that you're now awake, his eyes closed as he rubs his temples, clearly stressed about something. it isn't until you shuffle in your seat, rubbing your eyes that he finally seems to acknowledge your presence, almost startled by how quiet you'd been.

"holy shit you scared me".

he places a hand on his chest, and you can tell he was genuinely surprised by your sudden awakening because he glances at you then glances away, very interested in the window it seems.

"sorry" you whisper. you feel as if you could cut the air in the car with a knife considering how thick it seems. "hi".

why do you say hi? why do you choose to greet him? you two know each other, you know each other very well, much more than you ever thought you'd know each other.

dejun also registers the awkwardness in the air, the two of you itch to escape the situation, but you both also don't want to be the first to leave. he gives a polite smile, finally staring directly at you. "hi" he greets back.

you have the urge to itch your hand, feeling insanely uncomfortable. a small sigh escapes your lips, and you make an effort to look down at the floor of the car instead. "heng still in there?"

dejun is clearly upset at how you changed the topic, but what else were you two supposed to do? greet each other a couple more times? it's all basically come to shit now. "yeah.. he practically knows everybody in that household, it's crazy".

he talks like he doesn't care much, you chalk it up to him being tired, forced to drive home his friend who has a million acquaintances, not to mention he's sitting right beside his ex boyfriend, the same ex boyfriend whose heart he broke in the same car no more than a few weeks ago.

he did it in an almost heartless way as well, he seemed to have no regard for you, the tears streaming down your cheeks must've seemed pathetic to him, the way you tried to get him to change his mind must've completely altered his opinion on you by then.

it's understandable why the two of you are so awkward, why there are no jokes between you, why instead of feeling grateful to be sitting beside such a pretty boy, your stomach curls in an uncomfortable way.

you glance over at him for a moment, watching as he picks his nails, even with the heartbreak he put you through, you can't deny how absolutely striking he is. dejun possesses a kind of beauty you don't think another person could ever display as well as he does.

you hate that he's so beautiful, a literal work of art, but was still the very one responsible for the days you spent feeling as if you weren't enough. he didn't even try to give you a good explanation for breaking off your seemingly bulletproof relationship, just said some bullshit like "we weren't working together y/n".

and yeah, your mad, you have every right to be mad.

it was never supposed to be more than a friday night hookup, nothing more than a stupid meetup orchestrated by a mutual friend of yours, you two should've never crossed over into having an actual relationship, because your demise was very expected.

"i don't know what you want from me".

"i don't want anything from you.." anymore, is what you want to add, but in fear of sounding even more pathetic than you look, you shut your mouth, crossing your arms. "there's nothing more to say, we're over and that's fine, i've gotten over it".

"y/n—"

"dejun" you don't want to hear him speak any more, because the longer he does the more you'll want to break down and cry. "you made your choice and i respect it, i don't want anything from you".

dejun looks hurt by your words, as if he's not the one who decided to break up with you. he's such an idiot, a beautiful, pathetic idiot. he slumps in his seat, as if you just delivered a punch straight to his gut.

you stop looking at him at this point, because you aren't going to be able to resist the urge to kiss him if you continue staring at his face. another wave of silence spreads between you two, and you want to leave so bad, but you can't, because then you'd have to deal with guanheng's fucking interrogations.

you hear dejun unbuckling his seatbelt beside you, at least he's leaving, it'll make everything just a little more bearable. you clear your throat, pretending the prior conversation didn't happen. "could you tell guanheng to make sure he gets back my copy of dracula from yangyang?"

dejun hums, but sighs. "y/n".

you wish you listened to your heart, but your mind was screaming at you to fucking look at him!

so you did, and you almost collapse right onto the floor. he's staring at you with such bewitched, lovestruck eyes, it's as if nothing bad ever happened between you two, as if you were still happy and in love with no issues whatsoever.

"stop doubting yourself.." he whispers, then he presses his lips to yours, it's as impulsive as it is stupid, because dejun is going to regret this the next day, you know he will.

you hate that you kiss him back, you hate how even though he broke your heart in this very place and left you crying in your bed. you should be ashamed of how easily you fall into his hands, you're constantly thinking optimistically, as if he won't just up and abandon you again.

when he separates from you, you almost want to pull him back, your hand fiddling with his shirt collar.

but for once, you listen to your head.

"i love you" he gives a sad smile, letting go of you and exiting the car.

you just sit there, face warm as you try to register what just happened. you watch dejun walk away, as you've done thousands of times before, you still don't feel any better, but the uncomfortable curl in your stomach has subsided for now.

if you just pretend that everything is all going to he okay, maybe it will!

oh xiao dejun, always breaking your heart and leaving you to pick up the pieces afterward.

[justblades]

Hey I love love loveeeee everything that you wrote! Can you please write something about Blade being with a Herrscher so? Preferably one like Raiden Mei please ❤️❤️

blade x gender neutral! herrscher! reader

a/n : thank you so much <3 this took long since i have little knowledge about herrschers but i loved writing this and creating my own concept ! this is more of a how they became s/o, i hope you like it !

ask children what kind of superpower they would like - "invisibility!" "immortality!" "teleportation!" and those are the three most common answers to be anticipated from their young minds. every blessing is its own curse, immortality may be a gift for some but it will never not be a curse when it is bestowed upon someone - whether forcibly or willingly.

to vividly remember how cerise colors stream out of your wounds, to clearly recall how your guts spilled and adorned the bloodshed of a battlefield - to etch in your mind how you exactly died. for blade, it was never once a blessing. he continually waits for his day to come to an end, the threads of his patience tear off, thinning.

it was a trivial mission he was assigned to, trivial but still holds significance for the future he believes in: a future where he no longer exists to happen. his monotone steps close towards you, aura exuding of an alien's, someone who's not a part of this world; this universe. he brandishes his molten cracked sword once again, studying his opponent with alert eyes and a sharp mind.

however, once you finally take a swift turn to face him - he couldn't take any steps further. the atmosphere suddenly thickens, one that's capable of making him stop in his tracks and weigh his sinful body down. blade's eyes become two full solferino moons of shock, intimidated at the life form six meters away from his stature.

around you was a butterfly flittering its wings, a seemingly normal sight at first. a watchful enemy keeps their guard up at all times, and there he only see absurdities unravel: the butterfly ages quickly, it dies in an instant— but the once corpse becomes a larva as it is encompassed by black aura, a power you're wielding from your dominant hand. not just the feeble butterfly, but the things surrounding you as well: they crumble down, brought back into the materials they're made from, turning into a process of how they're molded, and so on. a never ending cycle.

upon blade's long years of waiting, he finally sees his end. a page from his chronicles that indicates it's finally the last. he kneels down, sword sheathed and laid just beside him: he lowers his head and closes his eyes voluntarily.

the herrscher of cycle. you wield capabilities to turn everything and everyone back to what they once were, may it be from a particular point of their lifespan's timeframe or back to nothingness at all. perhaps this is the future that blade awaits. you stride towards his kneeling figure, a daring smile sculpting your lips. "you're an interesting individual."

his brows knit as he looks up to meet your iridescent eyes, among the hundreds of colors commixing together, there lies a black hole, a void, nothingness within. "in my universe, there's a particular tea i took a liking to . . ." silence engulfs the whole place for a short moment, blade feels as if he's betrayed by his own tongue, unable of any utterance.

"since your eyes are pleading me to end your life— shall we spend your last moments relishing a favorite tea of mine?"

and before he knew it, he's wrapped around your pinky finger, inseparable as ever. he'd come to adore your habits, how words roll off your tongue, your stories that once bored him to death in every sip of the drink without full on realizing the corners of his lips tug upwards whenever he hears the chimes of your laughs.

fate really is a roller coaster of events - he always seeked his end and had one concept of final moments . . . perhaps all he needed is an interesting companion, and the end of his mundane perception finally vanishes.

[zandlikething]

Perler bead qsmp eggs I made the same day they left

I haven't posted anything about it because I was still processing it. I thought Sense the eggs were coming back all the eggs would come back I was very sad to see them go but I understand why the admins left and respect their choice in leaving so please no one harass the admins

I have a message to the admins that played the eggs in the picture ( which I doubt they will see but I want to get it off my chest) so lots of rambling from this point on be warned.

Lullah: Lullah you were one of the first eggs I got really attached to and it was because of clips of you Chayanne and Philza that originally got me into the qsmp. Seeing how much you grew was so cool to see.

Seeing you go from a shy little egg who likes flowers and music to a bad ass egg who would do anything for her loved ones. An egg who survived so much and went through so much hurt but also a lot of joy.

Lullah you brought a lot of joy into people's life you certainly did mine and I can't wait to see what you do next.

Chayanne: Chayanne my first introduction to you was the clip of Max yelling at you cause you blew a hole on his property ( I know that was another admin this is for both) Chayanne you were always so chaotic and fun but so loving and protective of your siblings.

Your rivalry with Quackity was always so funny to see a grown man beffing with a pixel egg in Minecraft. You honestly remind me of my older brother which probably explains why I would relate to Lullah sometimes lol

I hope whatever you're doing you are doing great at it and I hope you know how much you did for this community

Pomme: Pomme I remember when you first arrived with the rest of the French I remember how sweet you were to everyone around you and how much fun you would have with all your parents. I would watch Bad pov a lot and the stream would always get brighter when you showed up.

Your connection to all the eggs were super sweet and all your lore was so interesting. Seeing you bond with Bad and Dapper was so cute and then Bad becoming your Dad and Dapper your brother was so cute. It was never "official" but it didn't need to be it didn't matter all that matter was you guys were family

I like all the Pomme times we got and one of my favorite streams was just following the eggs around mainly you and Dapper. It was so interesting and cool to see what you guys did and say without your parents around. I also found it cool we had something in common because I love RWBY too in fact if you scroll down my Tumblr you'll see some post I did on RWBY a few years ago.

Thank you Pomme I'm happy to see you and Dapper in Bads chat sometimes I can't wait to see what projects you'll work on next

Richardson: My boi the most bold egg lol your antics would always make me laugh. All the pranks you pulled on Bad and all the times you teased him to get a reaction were so funny. You were by far the most chaotic egg you would just pop up out of nowhere in anyone's stream it would always get more chaotic even if just a little.

Honestly your goodbye and final words made me cry yup you not Chayanne and Lullah and Philza saying goodnight you who just walked into the sunset was the greatest thing ever. The memorial you made for you Dapper and Pomme was so good I love it and I want you to know that I learned a lot about Brazil because of you and your parents I want to go to Brazil one day now somewhere I've never thought about going.

Goodbye you little rascal I hope whatever you're doing your doing it with chaos

Dapper: Dapper you are my favorite I immediately was drawn to you and your top hat. I first saw you in a Philza stream protecting Lullah from Quackity and I started watching Bad ever since.

I remember when Quackity kidnapped you in a desert temple and how scared I and the rest of the chat was. Little did we know how common that would become lol how many times did you get kidnapped like 7.

You and Bad's lore was my favorite I loved your guys father and son connection. It was clear to see how much Bad cared about you and how you cared for him back. You guys made such a good team with all the stuff you made with the create mod.

I relate to you the most for a few reasons one being all the animals you had and collected. I am a big animal person so if I could actually have cool mythical and cool animals I would but also one of my favorite signs from you is "he can't handle the uber powers of my uber autism" This made me laugh so much I am on the spectrum so when I saw this clip I was Ohhhh that's probably why I relate to this Minecraft egg so much lol

Dapper thank you for really getting me into the qsmp there were some ruff patches and a little drama but through it all I had a good time

Thank you for introducing me to Badboyhalo I now have found one of my new favorite streamers

Thank you all of qsmp for helping me and many others through our days and for an amazing year I will still watch qsmp as long as Bad streams it but I have a feeling it's going to be time to say goodbye soon. So thank you qsmp I am sad not to have these streams in this next chapter of my life but I am happy for when you were you helped me get through.

But you know what they say everyone:

"Don't cry because it's over,smile because it" happened

[elliewilliamsismommy]

you’re stuck with me

a/n: hey guys! so this definitely isn’t my best work but i figured i’d put out my first little fic so that you can get a sense of how i write :) totally open to suggestions and criticism… i’m always looking to improve my writing

warning: mental health issues, ptsd, depression, joel being alive (slay), smut, kind of public sex? orgasm delay, overstimulation, squirting, fingering, you eat ellie out like it’s your last meal… usual lesbian shenanigans yk

oh yeah btw i love sub ellie so we’re just gonna make this a thing just this once tehe totally self indulgent but i’m such a slut for whiny ellie

summary: you and ellie visit jackson after things have been weird between the two of you. dinner at joel’s, “sleeping” in his guest bedroom… you get the gist just read the damn fic

your life was fun on the farm. taking care of the animals and ellie, the both of you going on little hunting dates everyday, and coming home to the domestic lifestyle that you shared. it was a routine. but recently, things have been different. she’s quiet. she’s always asleep. not to mention that things have been lacking in the intimacy department, which is abnormal for your relationship. you both needed change.

so, you decided to force her to jackson for a week. which brings us to the current situation. sat at joel’s old oak dinner table with creaky chairs that squeak every time you breathe. ellie’s hand rests in yours reassuringly as you and joel catch up.

“so how are things here, joel?” you ask.

“well, it was a rough winter last year for us, as you probably remember, so we’re pretty much in recovery now. nothing too interesting. how about you two? how’s the farm? been keepin’ busy?”

“we always try, right babe?” you turn to face ellie after what felt like hours of small talk with your girlfriends lovely father. no response. you and joel make eye contact. you both know that something’s up.

“you okay, els?” you whisper in her ear. she drops your hand and stands.

“i’m tired. thanks for dinner joel” she says as you blankly watch her grumble up the stairs. you turn to joel with tears in your eyes.

“god, i’m sorry, joel.” your voice begins to break. “i don’t know what’s going on with her and i don’t know how to make it better an-“ a choked sob erupts from your mouth.

“hey! it’s gonna be okay. just talk to her. she’s ellie. she’s just stubborn. she loves you.”

“you’re right i’m just worried about her you know? this isn’t like her. she’s been distant and i don’t want to make things worse.” at this point the tears are flowing in an endless stream. you taste the salty sadness as it falls down your cheeks. you go to cover your face but knock over your water in the process, and the cold liquid spills all over your lap and on the table.

“god joel, i’m a mess. let me help you clean this up.”

“no, no. go talk to her. i’ve got it” joel explains as he gets up from his seat and pulls you into his arms. after a moment, he pulls away.

“are these goddamn tears on my shirt? go clean up, you sap” he laughs.

“yeah, yeah. i’m going” you chuckle.

you turn to the stairs and head to the room that you and ellie share. you knock on the closed door.

“ellie?” you call out.

“come in”

you open the door to reveal your drained girlfriend curled up in bed, with tears staining the pillow cases. without saying a word, you crawl into bed behind her and get under the covers. your hand travels to her bare hip and the other strokes her auburn hair. you lay there for what feels like an eternity, just breathing her in. breathing it all in. it pains you to see her so depressed.

“you know i love you more than life, right? and you can always tell me anything. i don’t want to pry and you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but i just miss you and i wish you would tell me what’s going on.”

“yeah, i know.”

“and joel and i are worried. you don’t have to carry this all yourself. that’s why we’re together, so we can lean on each other and get through things together.”

“i know.” she turns to face you. she smiles for what feels like the first time in months.

“i love you…” ellie says, “too much. i’ve been having dreams - well more like nightmares - where you’re dying and i cant do anything about it. and it kills me to see you like that. it’s just my ptsd and my panic attacks are back and i don’t want to be a burden or bother you and i just want to be strong for you because i want to take care of you.”

“babe, you will never be a burden! i’m always here for you! it’s my job. we could have worked on it together. i’m right here, and i’m not going anywhere. you’re stuck with me.”

you pull her in closer and place a kiss on the tip of her nose. as you begin to pull back, her head chases yours, her lips longing for your touch. you close the gap between you, and you kiss like it’s the first time. soft, sweet. she tastes just like always. your body is on fire, and so is hers. her hands pull at the hair on the nape of your neck, attempting to get closer to you, if that’s even possible. your tounges tangle together and ellie climbs over you to straddle your lap, not breaking the kiss. your hands travel up and down her sides, brushing up against her cold skin below her tank top and above her underwear. she shudders under your touch and moans into your mouth as she begins to shift her hips uncomfortably over yours.

“els… what are you doing?” you say as you pull away from her lips, mostly for air.

“i miss you. i need you.”

“babe… joel is right downstairs. what if he hears?” you question.

“we’re just going to have to be quiet then.”

there she was. the ellie you knew. still in there.

“we? let me take care of you. i want to make you feel good” you explain.

you roll over so that you’re on top of her, and connect your lips with hers once again. you feel her legs start to close, so you shove a thigh between them.

“fuck-“ she whines.

“so desperate, els. i’ve barely even touched you yet and i can feel how wet you are through your underwear. my poor, poor baby.”

the friction of your jeans on her thigh makes her groan under your touch. she begins to rub herself against you.

“what do you want, baby?”

“i- i want you.” ellie responds, voice barely above a whisper.

that was all you needed to hear. you glide your hands from her cheek to her stomach, and slip a finger past the waistband of her underwear. you brush over her clit and she grabs your shoulders from how sensitive she already is.

“sorry. keep going” ellie begs.

you gather her slick onto your fingers and begin to circle her clit, causing her eyes to roll back into her head.

“oh my god” she whispers.

you gradually increase the pace, but it’s not enough for her.

“y/n- i need more” ellie whines.

“what do you say?”

“please, please i’ve been so good please i need-“ she is cut off as you slide a finger into her needy hole. her back arches and she lets out a loud moan. you quickly cover her mouth.

“you have to be quiet, els.”

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry. please move” she begs.

you start thrusting your finger slowly inside and out of her. gradually increasing the pace. you can feel her spongy walls clenching against your finger and sense that she still needs more. you remove your fingers and she groans, before you quickly shove two fingers back inside of her.

“that’s my good girl.” she nearly cums right then and there from the praise.

you pick up the pace and begin thrusting in and out of her sweet cunt at a pace that she can barely handle, and she starts to tighten around you.

“oh god, y/n. i’m gonna cum.”

“not yet ellie.”

“please let me cum. i cant do it.” she says a bit too loudly.

“yes you can. cmon pretty girl. wait.”

you press your thumb to her clit and her hips begin to grind into your hand. her eyes squint closed and her back arches as she releases around your fingers. you don’t let up.

“oh fuck. shit- y/n! it’s too much, please.”

“ellie i told you not to do that. i said wait.”

“i’m sorry, please”

your pace only increases. you hold her hand as you move your head down to her glistening cunt and begin to suck on her clit mercilessly. her hips jump at the touch and she squirms. your spit runs down her desperate pussy, mixing saliva with her previous release. you can tell she’s not going to last much longer.

“please… don’t fucking stop- god!”

“cum for me ellie. cum all over my face.”

her whole body tenses up and she orgasms for the second time that night. but this time is different. she soaks the sheets and your face.

“fuck!” she says with a broken voice as she squirts all over you. you lap up all that she released and cleaned her thighs with your tongue.

“you’re so hot, ellie.”

you grab a towel from the closet and beging to wipe her thighs and your face down as she starts to come back to reality. you brush the sweaty hair off of her face and pull her underwear back onto her.

“you okay?” you ask.

“i’m perfect” she says with a smile.

“i love you.”

“i love you too.”

[elminx]

What I've Been Up To

In a word, super busy. (shhh...that's two words...I know...I KNOW!)

It's the busy season here in Southern New England; by that, I mean harvest season. My first real harvest of the year was sour cherries, which my partner and I picked last weekend.

These are from my friend's (now wild) cherry trees. I think that they are some cultivar of Prunus virginiana, though one can never be sure. S has been living in the house for about 8 years and has always "meant" to pick the cherries growing in his backyard. Now, we make it happen every year. I've been working with Wild Cherry Bark as part of my bitters projects, but I hadn't realized until now that this is the same plant. So neat!

My first project was to add some cherry to the ongoing lemonade experiments I have conducted weekly all summer. I added the cherries directly to the lemon peel phase (you can read more about lemonade making here), and it turned my lemonade into the most beautiful shades of orange and pink. I also made a wonderful cherry cake in a cast iron skillet and am in the process of experimenting with cherry syrup, cherry whipped cream, and a stone fruit vodka infusion - stay tuned for more on those as it evolves!

This cherry journey has been a pretty deep dive into herbalism (a long-time favorite), Chemistry, Ethnobotany, and even a little bit of Phytotoxilogy since the seeds of cherries (and other stone fruits) contain Amygdalin, which is poisonous to humans in high doses. I wanted to study medicine (I ended up with a minor in Biology because I legit qualified for it without having to do a thing), so this kind of shit is pretty up my alley.

I'm also deeply into continuing to work with these cherry pits because it is using all of the fruit which is something that I strongly believe in as a part of my craft.

I also picked (and froze) about 8 lbs. of blueberries yesterday afternoon. The time was right. My partner had the day off, and we don't celebrate Fireworks Day. I found the cutest local farm that does blueberries and raspberries that's only about 15 minutes from my house. Plus, picking under a giant bird netting made me feel like I was in Jurassic Park, so 10/10 on the place's vibes.

I'm not done with Cherry yet, though. I joked yesterday that I can't cross the streams, but it is so true. One of my more well-used preservation books has a whole section on cherries - both sweet and sour - and I want to make every single recipe. She even has a recipe for using your brandied cherries to make cornish hens and I am dying to try that (though probably with chicken). I don't think I can get any more sour cherries from S, but most of my local farms have pick-your-own or it for sale at their stands currently.

On the docket for today: set up my dehydrator for the summer season. (honestly, it is slightly past time)

I'm also still chugging away at my astrology commissions. I'm almost entirely caught up - I have an unusual transit report to write and one more natal birth chart to do, and things will return to normal.

I'm also looking at Mercury, who is going to retrograde on 8/5. I should have a transit report for the retrograde out soon and will offer a handful of commissions ($12 each) for anyone who wants a more personalized read on how the retrograde will interact with your chart. (Message me if you are interested or tip me $12 to save a spot if there's not already a commission offering for this when you read this).

I am still working my way through writing about violets and rose syrup. Watch for those—they are coming!

[vylithscat]

Can you do the obey me characters reacting to a famous vtuber mc? Like how they found out and what are their reactions to it, thaaanks :)

hello hello! thank you for your request @nocreativityfornames! i'm not an expert in vtuber stuff so i apologize if its not amazingly accurate :") (i'm also very sorry this took so long! i was trying to think of unique answers for each so it didn't get repetitive + life haha)

prompt: an mc who's a vtuber in the human world figures out a way to stream from devildom and gets found out genre: general & fluffy pairings: bros + dateables (and luke)

LUCIFER

You hiked the electric bill up a lot when you came down for a second time and he wants to find out why

Storms into your room, bill in hand, ready to chew you out

You squeal out of surprise and fall out of your chair, and a little animated character follows till the edge of the screen

Streams of messages appear on screen as the character sits still

Then you get back up and it follows your movements perfectly as you apologize to the screen before pressing a button here and there

You turn to him with a smile, "Hi, did you need something?"

"What is- No, that can wait. Why are you using all this for a chat and.. whatever that is?"

"Oh, um.. I forgot to tell you, I'm a VTuber up in the human world and managed to work things out down here.. Can I keep it? Please? Please?"

He rubbed the bridge of his nose as he tried to piece together what you said

"As long as you explain it to me and move around a little, fine. You can."

Your character followed your excited movements and facial expressions as you turned back to the screen

Lucifer had to excuse himself before he could ask any further questions

MAMMON

Like usual, Mammon burst into your room, something new on hand to tell you about

You jumped, covered up your screen and told him to knock

"Ya never tell me to knock!" He chirps, falling back on your bed as he tries to piece together what you're doing

"This time I mean it, Mammon.. I'm busy."

"Busy with what?"

You only point at your screen and he peeks at a little character that's idling

All it does is blink and look around, but he's staring

"What's this?"

"My.. model..?"

"Model?"

"I stream, Mammon."

Pause, processing. Oh shit.

He fumbles with his card for a second before trying to find everything out about what you're doing

There's absolutely no way he's missing your streams and will donate each time he watches, given he has any Grimm

A top fan, no doubt about it

LEVIATHAN

The two of you were hanging out in his room while he played away at a game

You were in his tub, scrolling your phone before you gasped and shot up

He glanced back as you stumbled out of his room and ran out before he beat the level he was on

Once you came back in, panting and sucking in any air, he was even more confused

"Sorry, I had to get something started, I completely forgot it was today!"

Huh, that's weird, this is when the new VTuber he found starts streaming..

"I set it to start soon so I'll have to come back later, love you!"

And with a quick forehead kiss you were gone to leave him flustered and confused

When the stream started he finally connected the dots

How could he not recognize his Henry's voice before!? And how is your model that adorable!?

Your D.D.D. got bombarded by Levi's freak-out and his not-so-subtle hints of making your VTuber model's outfit so you can have a real life stream

Go see him after your streams done if you're interested, he will be so fucking happy

SATAN

He'd sent you a message and he usually heard back from you by now, so he was getting worried

Surely you were home, safe in your room? He'd know if you were in danger

Eventually he couldn't let himself sit still and went to your room

Letting himself in, he spotted you waving at your computer before you turned to him

"Oh hi! Everything okay?"

He only silently wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug as he examined your screen

A model was idling and only occasionally blinked, a flurry of messages was going by on the side, and there was a animal-themed border

It was adorable, even better that was little paws showing in the messages and border. But he was extremely confused, "What is this?"

"I stream, this is my set up, and that's chat- Say hi guys!"

More messages flooded in, and he felt his heart flutter at your smile

"Interesting.. Do you need me to step out?"

"No, you can stay! I'm about to finish up, just wait on my bed."

That's what he was hoping for, he wants to know more, a lot more, about your adorable stream

ASMODEUS

You were spending some time in Asmo’s room, his hands playing with your hair or clothes

Until your alarm went off and you shot up, stumbling off his bed and out to your room

“I thought it was tomorrow!!” is all he heard as you ran off

And when you didn’t come back after two seconds he huffed and went to your room

“MC, honey, is everything o-”

Asmo cut himself off when he saw you standing in front of your computer, your face painted with worry until you sighed

“Sorry everyone, I lost track of the days, just give me a second to set everything up!”

With one little peek around the corner, Asmo saw a little character moving as you did, it’s face just as apologetic as yours

“MC! What is that little thing!? It’s so cute, not as cute as you, of course~” He cooed while cupping your face

“Oh, it’s my avatar.”

“You have to tell me more, and I have to make that outfit for you somehow, it’s adorable! It’ll look even cuter on you~”

“Asmo! I’m live!”

He giggled, “Oops~”

BEELZEBUB

You had just wrapped up your stream when you felt a pair of eyes on you

Spinning around you spotted Beel gripping on food as he stepped in, “Sorry.. I wanted to eat with you.”

“No worries! I’m just finishing up.” Beel sat nearby to watch as you spun back around

You said your goodbyes and waved your hand before you shut down the stream and turned back to Beel

“What was that?”

You gesture for him to come over before showing him it again “What’d you think?”

“It’s cute.” He put a bit of food in his mouth as he watched your character move, a smile forming

When you stopped he turned to you, “May I see it again?”

“Once we finish our snack.”

Beel nodded before handing you yours and eating his own

Before you could get much down, he turned to the screen and waited

You happily started up again once you set down your empty bag of chips and spent at least an hour showing Beel your character

At least his reactions were cute..

BELPHEGOR

He knew about it, but he never said a word

While you were streaming he'd occasionally wake up and see it

The first time he saw, he squinted, stared and was ultimately confused before he rolled back over to sleep again

Now he'll keep his eyes on you until you turn to come see him

But one time you caught him, "So what'd you think?"

He thought about it, your model was cute, I guess, but it wasn't that cute

"It's alright."

"Do you have any ideas to improve it then?"

"Why does my opinion matter?"

"Because you seem interested enough to watch, and I love you."

With a little peck on the forehead he groaned and rolled over, "It's weird, why would I like that?"

"Hm, suit yourself. But feel free to watch anytime."

"Uh-huh, thanks."

He did like it, but he kinda liked the real thing more

So good luck winning that battle

DIAVOLO

When you get called into the Demon Lord's castle, you usually fear what you did, and today was no different

Diavolo had called for you, and only you, the day after Lucifer came to you about your streams

You couldn't help but be nervous as Diavolo stepped out from his room

"Hello MC!"

"Hi Diavolo.."

The Lord took his phone out with your stream on the screen, it was an older one, "Is this you?"

"Y-Yes it is.."

His eyes lit up as he spoke, "It's adorable!"

You gave him a confused look as he went on to say he found it while looking for more human world activities and you felt yourself relax a little

"Please allow me to watch you do this in person next time! That character is quite something."

"You won't be able to see it since it's.. in the program."

His eyes lit up even more than before

"Do you want me to show you?"

He excited nodded and dragged you into his office, "W-Wait, we have to go back to the- Oh, never mind.."

BARBATOS

When he first found out was when he had to drop something off for Diavolo

Your head was on your desk, a character idling and blinking as it looked around or danced in place

He gently shook you, waking you from your "nap"

Once you gave him a place to set down the item, he came back over to watch the model until it looked at him

"If I may ask, what might this be, MC?"

You mumbled a 'my model', your sleepiness still not yet overcome

"Model?"

While still out of, you explain as clearly as possible that you stream but you're not yet comfortable showing your face

So you use a model to hide it while still having a live reaction

"I was supposed to stream today.. But I'm so tired after all my studying."

"Allow me to set it up and make you coffee, I'll be here so you may get through it today."

"Barbatos, you don't.."

He gently ran a hand through your hair, "Please, allow me. The model is rather captivating, so I'd like to see it for myself."

He learned your schedule and often came to help, or at least make sure you weren't pushing through it while he had the time

Just small things to keep you going

SIMEON

He visits you so he was most likely the first few to know before anyone else

When you were more comfortable with him being with you when you stream, he'll lay on your bed and watch your reactions

He loves how much your face lights up, your smile when you read messages, everything

Watching you stream brings him joy, and when its over, he comes behind you and rubs your shoulder

Knows how the stream went, but he wants to check if you're okay

It's a lot of people, you get waves sometimes, and he senses the stress when it happens

You'll get lots of kisses on the forehead, caresses on your cheek, just him loving on you after stream

He has you to himself, he gets to see those reactions

Yet, he has to love on you after it, so you can relax and come to the bed with him

He's seen everything you've gone through during streams and knows how you react

Raided? You jump and fumble over a thank you, your sub sound makes you smile, you're bashful when donated to

It's helped you two grow closer and he appreciates your trust in him to allow him in your room while doing this

LUKE

Similar to Simeon, he visits you often and was one of the first few to learn about it

You let him play with it himself the first time

And he LOVED it so much, especially because you designed it and it was so pretty

You showed him how to access it and he was an avid watcher

Didn't chat publicly, only message you on your D.D.D to make little comments or say he enjoyed it

Sometimes fell asleep if it was a late night one

But overall was really supportive of you

If you reached a milestone on stream and he was awake or found out, he offered to make baked goods for you

Most of the time wouldn't let you deny

But you HAD to come to his place or else Beel would eat it all before you could taste your reward :(

Or at school if it was a small lil cupcake

A good lil brother supporter tbh

SOLOMON

Found out through Simeon or Luke honestly

With how often they spoke about it or Luke making a baked good, he couldn't avoid it

So when Luke was asleep by his D.D.D one day, he picked it up to watch

And subsequently, messaged you asking to come over the next day

And when he got there, he was not subtle with how smug he was knowing about it

"Your model is rather adorable."

"Where'd that come from?"

"I saw your stream on Luke's phone, you were enjoying yourself quite a bit, hm?"

He chuckled as your face turned beet red

"I hope you don't mind me watching a little more."

The look on his face said he was gonna bully you again, and you knew it

"Fine.."

"Thank you, love."

He better be glad you love him, because his face was so smug that it was punch worthy

[thumpypuppy]

how do you usually come up with melodies n stuff? also what program did you use to make the isat soundtrack? :-)

Oh my gosh our first ask!

I (Lindar) have a few different ways I do it.

The title theme was originally written on a Teenage Engineering Pocket Operator PO-28. Just a stroke of inspiration, I guess? Sometimes it helps to sit down with an instrument and see what works, and different instruments lend themselves to different ways of thinking about music and melody, so I try to switch it up a lot.

Another way I tend to do it is to find an interesting chord progression and then let the melody emerge from that pattern, which can be a little frustrating sometimes, but has yielded some interesting results. Honestly I've been writing music for over two decades, and the process can be a bit arcane at times having amassed a whole host of different techniques over the years, but the years of experience is not required to make something good and catchy. At the end of the day I think my favorite way to test the viability of a piece of music as game audio is to play it for someone and then see if they start humming it to themself some time later. Hummable music means it's catchy, and that's what you're after, isn't it?

As for working with my other musicians, here are some things I've observed:

Alice is very methodical in her approach. She sits down at her DX7 with her headphones on and will try things and then iterate upon them until she is satisfied, and then will write everything in a sheet music notation software and send me a midi file when she's done. She's a classically trained violinist, comes from a family of jazz musicians, and is a big fan of progressive rock, so a lot of that influences the way she approaches music.

Sadie is also a jazz musician and former orchestra performer, she went to school for it, and honestly it can be incredible to watch her work, because she will simply pick up any instrument and immediately improvise something catchy. She's had several bands, she's been composing for years, and it can be magical watching her work. (She is currently in a band called Dirty Twenties, and you can find her solo work as "Sadie Greyduck" on most streaming platforms.)

Sandra… well Sandra likes punk rock and metal. She has done some of her own work, and we definitely have a similar approach to writing music, but she can be very scattershot in her approach. Primarily she does percussion for the studio, but her constant leaning over my shoulder definitely influences things, and she's the voice of reason when I have the tendency to over-compose.

As far as software is concerned, the studio runs Ableton Live with a host of VSTs that craft the sound we have, and a handful of live instruments as well. Some of the more notable things you've heard in "In Stars and Time" have been Native Instruments MASSIVE, Spitfire Audio Albion ONE, Toontrack Superior Drummer 2 (with the Metal Foundry pack), and our Ibanez 8-string guitar. If you're interested in all of the gear and plugins we have I'd be happy to do a separate post with a rundown of everything.

Thank you so much for sending us our first ask! I hope that answers your question! 😅👍💙

[arnamantle]

more fucking acronyms - cuz 'ttrpg' don't have enough already

to expand a bit on what I was talking about here, I think it would be beneficial to have some more categorizations of ttrpgs that a. help people identify the kinds of ttrpgs they like to play and b. help identify some essential facets of that game. The problem with the latter is that "ttrpg", as a generalized "big tent" term, covers such a massive field of work that it nears redundancy. There are great games out there that are built to make you question your understanding of what a game even is, or what your expectations are for interacting with such systems. So, my initial proposal is, rather than try and categorize the nature of the game, categorize the nature of the player. People who are familiar with Magic: the Gathering likely know about Timmy, Johnny and Spike players, referring to three distinct styles of play based on the engagement points and motives of those players. Those terms have their own reductive issues, but there are two terms I wanna start using, at least when speaking from my own viewpoint about ttrpgs. "Dramatic Improve Role-Play", or DI-RP players. These are folks who whose engagement point in ttrpgs centers around, well, playing a role. Dramatically. With improvisational skills. Folks who come to games for the sake of creating and exploring a deep character arc, for building intense interpersonal scenes with other characters, and generally indulging in the shared theatrics that the group establishes. DI-RP folks are the ones I expect are drawn to actual play streams and podcasts, as well as GM-less, diceless and other "alternative" games that are living their heyday now. "System Manipulation Role-Play", for SM-RP players. These are the people who come to games looking to roll dice and crunch numbers. For SM-RP players, the system itself is part of the game, and the process of spending weeks building a "munchkin" character is often just as rewarding as watching them solo encounters bulid for far stronger parties. Plenty of D&D only players and OSR fanatics fall into this camp. Obviously, most people would fall somewhere in between these two poles. But, I think it could be useful for anyone who is interested in ttrpgs to see where they fall, because once you're able to identify the things that you love most about games, the easier it will be to find games that fit your play style, as well as a group that you work well with. I myself heavily lean towards SM-RP, and it took me a frustrating while to realize that, and that I honestly don't really like "role playing " that much, at least unless it's with certain people in very specific circumstances. But system manip? That's my bread and fucking butter. And now that I know that, I feel like I can fine-tune my ttrpg design to deliver a better experience for those who share my engagement type.

[greaterspawnislands]

(This is the separate ask I would genuinely love to hear your thoughts on how other stream sub groups operate differently it's just so fascinating to me)

YEAH!!! Also it's so very cute to me how supportive and patient he was with Kristen when she was first considering streaming <333

At first she just kinda popped into chat and on stream rarely and he never forced her to stay if she didn't. Over time she just got used to and wanted to interact with chat more! Until she started streaming herself and he's been 100% supportive the entire time. Literal A+ husband material you can tell how much he loves her and its so sweet,,,,

YEAH ok so about the kristin thing at first so recently i've been watching all of phil's s4 videos and i'm getting to the end of 2019 aka they're preparing for their wedding and phil's in the process of getting a visa and it's so :))

i currently have two kristin stream vods in my watch later (bc i've been busy) and im so excited to get to themm it's been awesome to see kristin get more confident in streaming bc she is so funny!! i really love tuning into her streams they are such nice spaces :) also i miss parents sdv i hope they play again

ANYWAYS ok so my ramblings about phil's community is just. hold on i need to put this under cut because the more i write out the more it feels like inane bullshit but whatever we're here now

i feel like out of all of the streamers who have grown their communities in the boom of 2020/dsmp era phil's has been the most interesting to me. obviously biased here bc this is my community but ok. I'm not going to say that phil's fanbase is "the best" because that's obviously a subjective take but i think part of what makes it stand out to me is that it skews significantly older than any of the other streamers fanbases. routinely, we've heard from donos that there are teachers or people with full jobs who are donating to phil's streams. now, obviously we've heard plenty from high school age and younger, but for the most part those people tend to be sbi fans, or crimeboys fans who also enjoy phil - totally valid, etc, but they're not who i'm talking about.

the people who main phil tend to be older, which shapes a pretty different community that has a much less active presence on places like twitter. Those who are on twitter tend to not have nearly as much of a drive for clout as other subtwts - obviously there are exceptions, there always are, im trying not to speak as a total generalization - but i can't think of too many c!phil mains with thousands upon thousands of followers compared to other subtwts. And i think that again mostly comes down to like . it's just an older fanbase so they don't care abt that stuff as much.

oh and also! early gang as a central hub for most people who main phil i think helps a lot because, similar to tumblr, no character limit directly correlates to like. more critical thinking being used and less automatic aggression towards other people in the way twitter pushes to the forefront of every interaction. so as a whole the community comes across as far more chill than other subtwts/etc bc they aren't using twitter as their primary hub of communication

but i also think phil has had a direct impact on how his fans act on twitter regardless of age. the example that immediately comes to mind is when uh. ok. so idk if u were on twitter at all circa late 2020-early 2021, but subtwt selfie days were Alllll the rage back then, there was basically one or multiple every single day of the month for various ccs and duos/groups/etc. and i remember when it started popping off, phil got asked about it on stream and he very seriously talked about how he wasn't comfortable having a selfie day tagged after him, because he didn't like the fact that so many people, many who were high school age/teenagers, were putting their face on the internet for literally anyone to look at. i think he was the only cc who really spoke out about the ramifications of having your face online like that, and i know for me it was the first time i took a step back and went "yeah wait this is kind of fucking weird". it obviously didn't stop the selfie days for any other ccs, or the sbi selfie day, but his fans listened, and there was no phil selfie day ever again, and i think it's that kind of communication between phil and his audience that sort of helped develop his community in that direction, being mindful of internet bullshit and all that jazz. it's that kind of way he looks out for fans and the like that makes me really appreciate him and his community all the more. i just really like telling that bit of his history bc it was important to me in that time

again i don't know if this makes . too much sense. i sort of just started rambling and didn't stop to think if i was making any real points. this is all just to say that i love early gang, love philza, loveposting hours are so real i love this old man

[therecordchanger62279]

GOODBYE FACEBOOK

After 15 years on Facebook, I deleted my account yesterday. I joined originally because I was feeling isolated, and wanted to make contact with people who’d drifted out of my life, and maybe find a few new friends in the process. Although I didn’t know it at the time, that’s not the way social media works.

I didn’t make a single new friend in my 15 years on Facebook. I lost track of how many old friends I lost because of it, but the number exceeded seven. Many of those fell victim to misunderstandings that probably never would’ve happened if we’d been face-to-face with one another. (I was even forced to unfriend my twin brother because he took some of my comments on his posts the wrong way. It’s very difficult to convey humor when the person can’t look you in the eye. It doesn’t matter how many laugh emojis you attach. When I discovered he adjusted his settings so I wouldn’t see his posts, I thought I’d better unfriend him before it got out of hand. The damage has since been repaired the old-fashioned way – we talked on the phone, and through an e-mail exchange.) The others happened because this social media app allowed people to needlessly, and without provocation abuse me to satisfy some malicious drive in them to humiliate or belittle me for reasons I simply cannot fathom. It’s called trolling, but you don’t really expect trolls to be people you thought of as friends. Rather than try to repair the damage, I simply walked away. I have no time left in my life for people who clearly do not want me in theirs.

I also made the unpleasant discovery that most people are liars or phonies. They’ll pose as friends, but, in reality, you, and the things you do with your life are of no real interest to them at all. You are nothing more than part of an audience when they take center stage to tell of their lives. I often compare it to being in a large gathering of people who are all talking, and nobody is actually listening. I can’t tell you how often I was solicited to give feedback or support on some of their artistic pursuits, but after spending three years working on this blog I’m proud of, and being urged by those same people to permit them access to it because they all said they wanted to see it, I showed them my work, and nearly all of them completely ignored it. They didn’t reject it because they didn’t like what I’d done. They just never bothered to look at it. And yet, they still continued to lobby me for support and encouragement when they made new music, or wrote a new book or a play, or took up a cause.

I was that guy at a party, standing in the room in plain sight that nobody noticed; to whom nobody spoke. I figured nobody would notice or care when I left. So, I simply walked out the door, and I’m not coming back.

I haven’t even mentioned what a trainwreck the site is when it comes to how it’s managed. Understanding their community guidelines regarding posts is like walking through a Bosnian minefield. No matter how careful you are, you’re eventually going to step on one, and you get to spend some time in Facebook jail until you learn your lesson. The news feed is clogged with ads, and an endless stream of suggested pages based on all the data they’ve collected on you that makes them think they know who you are, and can therefore market their products to you, and help separate you from your money. For example, I don’t watch or follow much sports anymore except some NFL during the season. But there were always endless suggestions in my feed that I follow pages about hockey, basketball, baseball, and many more. No matter how many I blocked, they just kept coming. I’m retired, and have been married for almost 44 years. But there were plenty of ads for online senior dating websites. I guess there was money to be made if Facebook could break up my marriage. And don’t you find it creepy when you look up some product online, and suddenly there’s that same product in an ad on your Facebook news feed? Big Brother is watching you 24/7. Don’t kid yourself otherwise.

So, why did it take 15 years to decide to leave? Well, I had come to rely upon it for some news, and weather, and announcements of new products I might be interested in (music, books, etc.). It was like that relic from the past – a daily newspaper. I also told myself I ought to maintain my page so that I would have some connection to friends and family since none of them live near me, and most I haven’t seen in more than a decade. But the light finally went on, and I realized these people were ghosts. I’d surrounded myself with my past. I discovered that once you’re not a part of someone’s day-to-day life (and that includes relatives as well as friends), you never will be again. You simply don’t matter any longer. Everybody has moved on, and nobody saved you a place at the table.

Okay. I accept that. But what I found impossible to tolerate was the hypocrisy. When I hit the delete button yesterday, I felt as if a weight had been lifted. There are suddenly so many things I no longer need be concerned with, and people I can consign, once and for all, to the place they all occupy – the past. I wished them well, and some commented I should stay in touch, but I won’t bother because I know they won’t bother.

Cyberspace is the real distance between people in the 21st century. Calling the internet the “worldwide web” is the perfect name for it. Because like a fly, you can get trapped in the web, and find yourself prey to all sorts of predators, with, seemingly, no way out – until you open that door, and the web breaks, and you’re suddenly free to crawl away before you’re trapped again.

If I could go back and live in the last century, I would. But I can’t. So, I’ll just have to find a way to cope in this one. Social media wasn’t helping. I can’t tell you how grateful I am there was a delete button.

© 2024

[elliebean714]

Hihi!! I was wondering if i could request hcs for Chris and/or Ashley with a Gn!S/O who’s a YouTuber or Streamer? Preferably variety YouTuber/Streamer, or feel free to leave it ambiguous!

Possibly they love what they do, have a decent/somewhat-high following, and will invite their boyfriend/girlfriend over to join them in videos/streams? Yet also, they also love being with her/him off camera too, and enjoys the time they have together when media isn’t in the way.

Heyy! THAnks so much for requesting Ashley. She owns my heart and soul and I'm kinda sad I haven't written her exclusively yet but I GET TO NOW THANKS SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHH💞💗😭💘💘🥺💘🦋💞💞 I decided to do them both separately cus Chris and Ashley are my favourites and didn't want to just do one.

Fluff

Pre-Game

Ashley Brown x Streamer/YouTuber!GN!Reader Headcanons

Ashley is your biggest fan

Loves watching your streams/videos

Seeing you so happy and confident on camera makes her feel overjoyed that you've found your calling

She also loves watching your videos when you're travelling for work

If she can't have you physically then she at least takes solace in knowing she can have you digitally

Loves falling asleep to your voice whenever you're away as well

It's just so comforting and soothing.

Due to your massive following, you probably get recognised in public frequently

So she dreads going out in public with you

Ashley's very happy for you, don't get me wrong

And she's elated to see how happy you make other people by doing what you love

But she's extremely anxious around strangers

So fans coming up to talk with you, even briefly, causes her major discomfort

But she's also a tiny, tinyyyyy, bit annoyed every time it happens

She just wants to spend time with her partner in public without having to worry constantly about other people interrupting

Ashley is obviously very insecure and secretly always wants your attention on her

But if that means stopping you from doing what you love, she'll cherish every moment she spends with you

And keep reminding herself how much you love her and all the wonderful things you've said about her

Ashley would be very reluctant to join you on camera

Probably has social anxiety and performance anxiety

Especially in front of an audience as large as yours

She'd really love to join you, she's just scared of disappointing or embarrassing you or herself

Just assure her that she could never and that you're always proud to have her as a girlfriend

Once she does agree she'd be far more comfortable filming a video with you (and a loose script) rather than being live, at least for a little while

She would like to be able to watch the video afterwards to make sure she's not making a fool of herself (as if she could ever😭💖)

Ashley would slowly become more comfortable in front of the camera

If you really wanted her to be in a stream it would be in very small segments, for a few minutes each stream

She wouldn't say much, especially near the beginning

She might get more comfortable in front of the live audience eventually but I really wouldn't bet on it

Even if she did get super comfortable and secure on camera she'd never last a full stream

Overall, 10/10 best girl fr fr, protect her always💘

Chris Hartley x Streamer/YouTuber!GN!Reader Headcanons

Far more interested in the technical side of things

Editing, writing, audio, camera stuff, ya'know?

Hes super into tech so he'd love to learn your editing process and software

Maybe even edits a couple of videos for you if you let him

If you wanted him to, Chris would be far more comfortable filming videos with you than Ashley

You two have great chemistry and it really shows in your videos together

Chris is canonically a very humorous person so he's obviously going to make any video more fun to watch

Your fans absolutely adore you two together and videos with him get the most views

You'll probably consider making another channel for the both of you to share, he loves it

When it comes to fans approaching you in public, he's far friendlier💀

People also want to chat with him so by default he's having a better time

Not having to stand there awkwardly whilst some fan speaks with you but actually engaging in the conversation

Doesn't get annoyed about people trying to talk with you, probably likes the attention 💀

Very very proud boyf btw

You're such a master of your craft

Seeing so many people recognise you for your talent and passion makes him incredibly happy

He loves watching you create videos, seeing you light up everytime🥺

Chris is 1000% supportive of all your ideas

Loves crazy, weird and unique ideas so those would probably be his favourite kind

He'd love helping you create in any way he can

Chris is canonically protective so he'd definitely want you to take breaks when he can see you getting burn out

Poor bbyboy is worried about you 💖

Hates seeing you stressed and he's absolutely going to try and make sure you have a healthy relationship with your work

He knows how much your videos and streams mean to you and wants you to always give it all your effort so even if it means taking time off he'd highly encourage it

Never force you to take a break, respects your decisions for sure but if you wanted his advice that's what he'd most likely tell you

When it comes to streaming with you he'd 100% be up for it

If you stream games then he's absolutely gonna be on every stream you let him

Definitely a massive gamer btw

Far more likely to stay for the majority or even the whole stream if he's not busy

What I Write

Requests Always Open 🦋

~ Elliebean714

♤♡◇♧☆♧◇♡♤♡◇♧☆♧◇♡♤♡◇♧☆

[littlealeta]

The Boy and the Heron Review [Spoilers]

Being somewhat of a Ghibli fan, this was one of my most highly anticipated films for many years.

Unfortunately, it left a lot to be desired or my expectations were too high.

Story

Probably the most boring Ghibli story since Tales from Earthsea. I even found Earwig and the Witch more interesting than this, because even though it was repetitive, it at least had conflict. The first act is mostly a generic slice of life where nothing happens. All it's about is a child trying to adjust to his new stepmother. Most of the second act is just your basic adventure film. Things really don’t get interesting until towards the third act, the boy goes into the spirit world, meets a young version of his mom and great-great uncle. As you can see, the story is a huge mess and by the time it gets to the complex things, the movie is almost over so it doesn’t have time to explain things. I think the movie should’ve focused more on the spirit world, the heron, and the symbolisms that come with it and how it reflects on Mahito’s personal journey and development.. It seemed like that’s what the film was going for, but it doesn’t focus on this stuff much to make sense. Which is disappointing because that’s why I was so excited to see this movie. Even Mahito gets little yet rushed character development of learning to accept his stepmom. I initially thought the heron was supposed to be one of those spiritual birds who represent a personal journey for a human, but they really don’t delve much into that.

Characters

It feels like none of the characters really have much of a point or represent anything. Mahito is the most boring Ghibli protagonist I’ve ever seen. He has barely any personality, doesn’t emote much (which is weird for a Ghibli film but there’s a lot of things that don’t feel Ghibli like anyway), and is stuck in a boring story about searching for someone. The other characters don’t really do much and are mostly there to just crack jokes and to react to conflict. And I shit you not, one of the jokes in this movie is random bird poop! The funny characters do get a few points for their humor, but they’re not three-dimensional enough to be memorable. Himi turning out to be Mahito’s young mom is cute, but still, there’s not much to be said about her.

Technical things

The only things I thought still felt Ghibli like were of course the animation, the voice acting (I watched dub) and the music. Although, some of the designs just felt like generic Ghibli designs, like Mahito, his dad, and the one old lady that looks like Grandma Sophie.

Overall

For a Miyazaki film that was in the making for about 10 years, I’m surprised how rushed, lazy, and poorly put together this was. From what I remember, most Ghibli films are pretty well structured and fairly simple to follow, even the more complex ones. I remember binge watching their movies when I was 11 and rarely felt like they were boring or hard to understand, much less hard to follow. As an adult, I probably understand them on a deeper level than as a kid, but still. I’m surprised at how devoid of the Ghibli charm this has. The characters have barely any personality, development, or emotion and the story is a confusing mess and is mostly basic. Is this a result of Miyazaki getting old? Was there something going on behind the scenes? I’ve never felt more empty by a Ghibli film.

If you are curious about this movie though, I’d recommend streaming it. It’ll give you more time to take a break and process things if needed than watching the entire thing in one sitting.

I give The Boy and the Heron 5.4 bells out of 10

Can anyone tell me why they like this movie? Am I missing something? Am I just stupid? Is this just a result of my mixed opinion on Studio Ghibli? Their movies can be really good but some are just not my cup of tea.

Don’t get me wrong, I see a lot of potential in this movie, but I think it should’ve done a better job to explain things and actually move things along faster

[genderqueerdykes]

Hi. I identify as a trans woman, but I have a lot of prominent masculine personality traits, such as being somewhat cold, stoic, etc. and it really bothers me. I get a lot of dysphoria from acting that way, but since it's my personality, I feel like I'm not actually a woman like I want to be, but just someone who pretends to be one. I feel like I'm trying to be something I'm not, but I want to be a woman so, so bad. I want to look like one, sound like one, talk like one, and act like one. But I feel like I never will.

What do you think I should do?

i wanted to say that i'm very sorry that you feel like you will never be/etc. a woman. society places a lot of expectations on women that are unrealistic and unfair- women of all kinds have those features and that does not take away from the fact that you are female. i promise you're not pretending- the doubt lends to your credibility. most trans women are made to feel like strangers alienating women's spaces. i promise you're not

my best suggestion is to watch women in live streams, movies, in your personal life, and try to imitate how they respond, act and sound. it's okay to literally just practice how you want to sound, even if it's just you sitting alone in your room acting out the lines to a scene from a show, or repeating something a streamer said, go ahead and just immerse yourself in what kinds of mannerisms, the timbre of their voices, and so on. you will definitely come out of your shell and be less stoic once you find who you are, i think that's part of feeling ashamed and like you can't be yourself. once you're able to figure out how you want to sound, and be, you will find your confidence

being "warm" and open are two feminine traits that come naturally to me, i have sort of a mother hen type personality, so my advice is let your natural curiosity take the wheel. girls are very creative and curious and often times the openness and warmness that comes with womanhood and femininity comes from a desire to learn more and to express. be invested in the people in your life, show passion and desire in your interests and hobbies, be willing to accept new ideas before reacting, embrace new ideas, and overall just go with the flow. there is also strength is softness, kindness, and tenderness. people view these traits as weak, but i have many system members who are very soft and tender and they are our strongest ones. it is okay to be soft, to enjoy cute things, and to express intimacy, love, joy, passion, and interest.

i hope that helps some. it can be hard to change your mannerisms at first but you have to look more to ywhat other people are doing than what you are doing for a while. things will start to come naturally after that. i wish you luck, no matter what anyone tells you or what societal expectation someone places on your shoulders, no matter what traits you do or don't have, you are a woman, because you are one. you are a woman because you say you are. it's okay to be a woman who's a bit cold and distant. some women are processing things and need time to figure themselves out. it's okay. you are appreciated, take care of yourself. if you need anything else let us know