#strong body tavs my beloved

[vampdinner]

katalinha thorne 　———-«« 　the dark urge

»»———-　 a female barbarian trudges through a forest at night, an axe swung over her shoulder, a wild look in her eyes. wood elves know the forest inside out—it's her second home, yet tonight she breaks into a cold sweat. her hands are clenched into fists so tight, red fingernail marks bloom on the surface of her palms as she searches the shadows in the underbrush to her left and her right, watching small animals skitter away as her footfalls strike the damp earth. her stomach rumbles, she wills it silent. the voices in her head are far more cacophonous; she can't outpace them no matter how hard she tries. the bloodsoaked pitch of repetitive whispers echo in her mind. a crow calls, and in a flurry of wings several shadows take flight, skimming the treeline and disappearing into the moonless sky. it is the nature of the strong to prey on the weak. she shakes her head—no, that's not right. blood drips from the ends of her locs and snakes down her back, charting rivulets of stains along the surface of her shirt. she doesn't remember from whose veins the blood had flowed. her stomach grumbles. a group of crows is called a murder. she stumbles over a smooth-faced stone worn flat by ages of rain, her heart skipping a beat. suddenly, a soft grey rabbit darts out of the leaves in front of her, trembling as it looks up for a brief moment before fleeing across the path into the darkness beyond. her short-term memory arrives through the fog of her clouded mind in short bursts: the bard's name was alfira. murder sounds a little bit like hunger, if you think about it too much. she shakes her head again, a throbbing sensation tugging at the corners of her field of vision. tears prick her eyes as she realizes—she's hungry. she was only so, so hungry. it is a predator's nature to sink into the rabbit's tender jugular. she grits her teeth, blinking the tears away, walking faster. the voices chase after her, whispering; it is only your nature. more crows swoop past her, their calls echoing through the trees. the pang in her gut twists into a lurching pain, and she resists the urge to double over, to submit, to let the hunger win. a strangled cry dislodges from her throat, raw and piercing, cutting through the chilly forest air. in the distance, far beyond her now—behind the tangle of branches and thorns, over grassy hills, and far, far past the quiet clearing of trees where her unsuspecting companions sleep through fitful dreams—a low, booming laugh rises from deep beneath the earth in response; a celebration, a mockery of mirthfulness that makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

note: umm hehe i wanted to make a durge character who's close to nature and tries to defy her fate and suddenly i ended up getting way too attached to her >< here's kat, my first playthru of baldur's gate 3 (i have made other tavs but i'd like to finish the game first b4 i get too invested in them sdkfkdfk) she is dating halsin just bc i thought he was cool at first and now i guess i'm way more insane about them both than i initially intended oops,, i feel like because of her background kat comes off as a frightening force of nature, hard to read and unpredictable (at least until she starts reigning in the Urge), intimidating due to her size and strength, but halsin finding that beautiful kind of in a similar way that you'd admire a lioness or the beauty and strength of a forest's top predator. i'm not great at games tbh but i do love fantasy and writing and drawing oc stuff so i hope to eventually do that in the future yahhh!!!

[faerievampling]

Tender

Summary: After the tadpole is gone, Spawn!Astarion's newfound vampiric strength must be tempered when making love to Tav.

Ao3 Link Here!

pairing: Astarion x Female Tav

word count: 1.3k

Warnings: 18+. Cunnilingus. PiV. Vaginal Fingering. Blood drinking. Spoilers for end game content.

Astarion brushes his lips against yours; his touch is so tender, as if he fears he may break you. You sigh into him as his strong hand trails up your neck to cup your jaw. He cradles you to him as he deepens the kiss, swirling his practiced tongue around yours.

When Astarion’s full vampiric strength came back to him after the defeat of the Netherbrain, he had hurt you - by accident, of course. 

His lovemaking had left bruises on your delicate skin. Astarion was torn up over this, that he had hurt his lover, the one person he truly cares for. But Astarion had been used to using you as he pleased. You never told him what to do, and he was in control of the bedroom.

He hadn’t realized his own strength. He was always starved and weak before the tadpole; but now, he is a very well fed vampire, and he found that he was inhumanly strong nowadays.

But now, Astarion realizes just how fragile you are, and how careful he must be.

Astarion places a hand on your waist as he delicately leads you to lie on your bed. When you meet Astarion’s gaze as he climbs on top of you, his eyes are rounded, his soul open and inviting as he bears his heart to you.

Every time the two of you made love since you defeated Cazador, it was like this. Astarion would often get emotional in one way or another, but you worked through it together. You were to follow his lead, let him explore, and intervene only when absolutely necessary. Astarion trusted you to know when the ‘absolutely necessary’ clause of this agreement should be applied. 

Letting Astarion explore sometimes lead him to be rough with you: not that you minded, of course, quite the contrary. But with the tadpole gone, things had changed. 

The two of you take each other in for a moment: his curls, which tendril down wildly as he hovers above you, frame his cute pointy ears. His full lips are parted, showing you the tip of his fangs as he often does when he’s feeling lustful. 

Astarion puts his hand on your neck before he moves up to thumb the plump of your lower lip. He then gives you a little smile before using a knee to spread your legs, fully putting your wet cunt on display. 

A low growl escapes Astarion’s throat at the sight of you. Your pale lover hooks one of your legs on his shoulder as he lies beside you, his eyes glued to your sex. 

“So pretty…” Astarion murmurs as he swipes a finger from your entrance to your clit, causing you to tremble with need.

Your cunt is already so wet, your folds swollen and muscles relaxed, ready and desperate for Astarion’s touch. He gently slides a finger into your entrance with little resistance. You clench around him as you search for his lips, which find yours instinctively. 

Astarion slides his finger out of you slowly. Your beloved was still mastering your body, but he always seemed to know when you were ready for more. As he slides a second finger into your entrance, he breaks your kisses, watching you as you take more of him. He pushes his long fingers into you until he is knuckles deep, which evolves your little whimpers into breathless moans.

Astarion watches as he unravels you with the curl of his fingers deep inside your cunt. Your eyes roll at the intense sensation, and you’re already seeing stars.

“Such a good girl, my sweet darling.” His deep, silky voice gives away how much he was enjoying this. He loved the smell of your desire, your reactions to his touch, and your full trust in him. 

As Astarion is hitting that sweet spot deep within you, his thumb begins to circle your clit, causing your eyes to go wide as carnal pleasure possesses you. 

Suddenly, Astarion pulls out his fingers from you slowly, watching your needy expression with a smirk. He lowers himself before he takes your swollen clit into his mouth, wrapping his lips around your sex and gently sucking.

A moan escapes your lips, which Astarion thinks is rather cute, and he smiles against your sex before returning to tasting your folds. 

Astarion loves the way you taste, and can’t help but ease his tongue into your entrance. His fingers move to your labia, spreading your lips so that he may devour his lover properly.  

Once Astarion is done teasing you and building you up, his tongue moves to your clit, making soft circular motions that make you writhe beneath him. 

You try to tell Astarion you’re about to come, but you’re breathless, and all you can do is tangle your fingers in his lovely curls and brace yourself for your impending orgasm.

Luckily, your body is able to speak for you, and your lover is very attentive. 

Astarion brings a hand up to squeeze your nipple as you come on his tongue, and your scent nearly drives him mad. He desperately wants to take you, to fuck you, to sup of your blood just as he had your delicious cunt.

His lips stay on your core until you squirm away from him from overstimulation. He grabs you by the hips and pulls you back to him before placing a kiss on the inside of your thigh. 

“May I?” Astarion asks through his lashes. You nod, and you see the excitement flicker across his face. 

Astarion kisses you once more before he slides his fangs into you, slowly drinking you in. He savors it, because he needn’t take too much; he didn’t like you feeling bloodless, and anything more than a few sips was a treat enough for him.

He moans against your skin after releasing you, lapping up the spilled blood as he undoes his trousers, freeing his cock from its constraints. 

Astarion is already primed and ready to take you. He feels so connected to you after drinking in your essence, and he wants more. Sitting up on his knees between your legs, his hands harshly grip your splayed thighs as he pulls you to him, ready to fuck your brains out until you’re a drooling, sobbing mess.

But he remembers himself; remembers the bruises he left on you. In these moments, he deeply misses the tadpole, and how alive it made him. Now, he has to be vigilant. But it is worth it for you. To love you properly, the way you deserve, whichever way Astarion can show you how. 

The one thing he knows he can do is protect you, even if it is from a part of himself. 

As Astarion lines his cock up with your entrance, he leans over and presses a tender, almost chaste, kiss on your lips. He meets your gaze as he pushes himself into you, a moan escaping your lips as he fills you.

Astarion hooks both of your legs on his shoulders as he strokes you. His motions are slow, consistent, and he is so incredibly deep, the tip of his cock kisses your cervix. 

He is cradling you, holding you so close and fucking you slowly: it had never been like this for him before, but he loves it. He loves you. 

Astarion doesn’t last long like this - you feel so perfect in his arms, and your cunt so warm, so tight, it feels like heaven once he finally comes deep inside of you.

Astarion rolls off of you before pulling you into his chest, not wanting to end your skin to skin contact so soon. He could get use to this, Astarion thinks.

Masterlist

[spacebarbarianweird]

Astarion x Drider!Tav

This was inspired by @necromosss and her art. It got me thinking what if Tav is condemned by Lolth being in relations with Astarion. Besides, I've already written Astarion x Drow!Tav so making a Drider part was only fair.

Masterlist

Headcanons

TW: angst and body horror

There is pain. Fear. The voice is so unnatural it destroys your sanity.

Did you really believe you could escape?

Lolth doesn't forget. Doesn't forgive.

Your skin breaks, and everything below the waistline disappears in the cobweb.

You are no longer a person, a drow, a woman.

You are a sexless drider, a Lolth's mindless pawn.

A monster.

There is nothing in your existence but the evil goddess's voice.

Bloodlust.

Hunger.

You murder to satiate yourself, but it's never enough.

Your teeth gnaw into your victims' flesh as you devour them alive.

Who were you? What was your name? Where were you from?

Who loved you?

You remember glimpses of sunshine. The blissful pain in your drow eyes.

The sound of ocean waves. The laughter. The kisses.

A silver-curled elf with crimson eyes.

Astarion.

His name is like a beacon of light in the ocean of madness and pain.

You don't remember yourself, but you remember him.

A vampire. A slave to his own bloodlust and hunger.

You grasp the pieces of memories.

He is so beautiful he can't be real.

His touches, his kisses, his words of love.

In the hours of silence, you think about him. But then the Lolth's voice destroys it all, and you return to the madness.

In madness, you crawl in the tunnels, searching for prey in the dark. 

You see a stranger. 

You attack him with all the cursed strength you have.

Your teeth gnaw into the flesh, and even your unsatiable stomach can't take the undead blood.

Astarion stands on his feet, holding a dagger. 

"I found you," his voice trembles. "Ten years. Ten years, but I found you!"

He kneels, putting his daggers away.

You recognize him.

"A-astarion? Is that you?"

"I am here, my love, I am here." He stands up again and reaches out for your cheek.

"It hurts..." you whisper. "I can't... The bloodlust, hunger, pain. I can't..."

He hugs you. His embrace is strong and somehow warm in comparison with your monstrous body.

"I am not going anywhere. I love you. I am not letting you go, not again."

You stand like that in the darkness of the Underdark, condemned by evil forces to being monsters.

"I will find a cure, I will return you back," he keeps holding you. "There must be something to save you. Some spells, some rituals. I will find it."

You are being dragged back to the madness, but his gentle voice is returning you back.

He holds you above the abyss.

Never letting you fall.

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @astarion-beloved @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati

[nyxhaven]

Beneath the peaches (halsin x gn tav)

As Halsin's concern for Tav's absence deepens, he embarks on a search through a vast peach orchard, the worry gnawing at his heart. However, what he discovers beneath the shade of an ancient oak tree is far from what he expected. Amidst the lush surroundings, a playful rendezvous unfolds, filled with laughter, flirtatious banter, and moments of stolen affection, all against the backdrop of the beautiful orchard.

(SMUT 18+ minors DNI. s!ze d!fference, breed!ng, oral (halsin receiving) teasing, loving)

(had this on repeat while writing😣🙃.)

Halsin's initial worry had been a heavy weight on his chest as he paced the camp mid-day, inquiring with his fellow companions about Tav's whereabouts with a furrowed brow, but no luck. It felt like an eternity since he'd last seen them. double-checking Tav's tent still nothing. he noted a small footpath that leads down the backside of the hill. His heart lightened when he ventured out of camp and stumbled upon the breathtaking sight of the seemingly endless peach orchard.

The leaves above cast dappled patterns of sunlight and shade as he wandered through the orchard, Halsin enjoyed seeing every part of nature, a reason he’s been so happy traveling with Tav. The canopy of leaves made the whole place feel like a hidden sanctuary. Halsin's relief swelled as he finally spotted Tav, their form a small silhouette against the massive tree.

Tav was nestled comfortably under the shade, sprawled out on a soft blanket with one leg bent at the knee, engrossed in a weathered tome. Halsin couldn't help but smile at the sight of his beloved, their hair catching the sun's golden rays.

Approaching quietly, he bent down and pressed a tender kiss to Tav's forehead. "My heart," he whispered, his voice a gentle caress. "I've been searching for you. It's been too long since you've graced our camp with your presence."

Tav's eyes lit up, their smile radiant as they closed the book. "Darling, you know I can't resist a good book and a quiet spot when the world gets too loud."

Halsin settled down beside Tav on the soft blanket, his fingers brushing against their hand. Their bodies lay close, fitting together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Tav's laughter was like music to his ears, and the worry that had clouded his mind earlier now felt like a distant memory. Halsin lay with Tav as they read aloud to him.

Gazing up at the colossal oak tree, Halsin spoke with sincerity, "The beauty of this tree reminds me of you. Strong, enduring, and a source of endless wonder."

Tav chuckled, their fingers tracing patterns on Halsin's arm. "Flattery will get you everywhere with me, my love."

As they continued to chat, their banter turned into a playful flirtation, their words filled with affection and desire. The soft rustling of leaves in the breeze and the distant calls of birds added a symphony of nature to their conversation, deepening the connection between them.

Halsin's eyes sparkled as he plucked a ripe peach from a nearby branch, the sweet fragrance of the fruit filling the air. "I think the Oak Father would appreciate this offering from his bountiful land."

Tav accepted the peach with a smile, and with the skill of a seasoned adventurer, they sliced it open with a dagger. "And I appreciate you, darling." Leaning in, they offered Halsin a piece of the peach, Halsin's lips brushing against Tav's fingers. he pulls his finger back, and a small string of saliva and sugar breaks. Tav leans into the golden embrace of Halsin. Their kiss was sweet, tasting of juicy peach, Halsins armed snaked around Tav's waist pulling them onto his lap and straddling him. His hands held the back of Tav's head pulling them in. Tav's small hips sit in his wide pelvis. The size difference between them was shown in the intimate moment.

Halsin's large hand wraps help Tav's head snuggly. His legs bend coming up to hold Tav on his lap as they make out. Tav pulls back from the kiss resting his weight back on Halsin’s hips, placing their hands on Haslin’s barrel chest Tav takes a breath. Halsin pushes his back out of his face taking his shirt off. “sorry love these clothes never help anything you know that.”

Tav waits for Halsin to take his shirt off before holding their arms up. Halsin gets the idea and undresses tavs top. the warm summer breeze flows down the line of peach trees cooling off the sweat beads down Halsin's body. Tav can’t help but stare at Halsins bare chest and how his hair all trails down his body past his navel into the bush of hair peeking out his waistband.

Halsin's large biceps wrapped around Tav flipping them, Halsin lay on top of Tav, Holding himself up on his elbows. his hair falls in front of his face. Halsin grabs the peach and takes a big bite letting the sugary nectar drip down his lips and chin. Tav licks the trail of nectar off his face placing a kiss on his lips.

Tav isn’t unaware of the growing bulge in Halsin’s pants but likes to tease Halsin by prolonging anything as long as they can a small bit of foreplay they enjoy. Halsins is always so quick to give in to nature's instincts. Halsin lays deep hickeys on Tav's delicate neck. Tav’s moan purs as Halsin’s sweet lips pressed to their skin.

Halsin's neediness urges him to grind his bulge along Tav's thigh. Tav bites halsins bottom lip pulling their face away “Don’t be too impatient, be patient for me and I’ll make sure my cub gets rewarded.” Something about Tav's words sends halsins breath into the next gear panting wanting more, his eyes begin to glow a bright yellow the same golden light that shines through the canopy above you. “calm” Tav whispers, caressing halsin’s cheek and temple.

Halsin's eyes fade back to his natural soil brown. Tav slightly giggled blushing a fair red. “What's the matter my heart.” Halsin wonders.

“Nothing, just seeing you get heated up like that is cute. I’m so proud of you for staying under control.” Halsin's cheek turn a merry red from the praise. “now

lay back down for me please.” Halsin follows the command and lays on his back. Tav gives him a look at his pants that those are not staying on. lifting his hip, Tav pulls the waist of his trousers down. springing out, halsin’s cock slaps against his skin, his musk of the day's travels waft in up in the air. Tav's mouth salivates at the sight of halsin’s erection. Halsins cock was thick and olive-toned with a set of strong balls on him. surrounded by a full bush of dirty blonde hair.

Tav lays between his large thighs, licking from the bottom of his shaft up to the under of his tip. Halsin’s legs wraparound tav holding them in place. Tav licks, kisses,

tempts but never actually yet takes halsin into their mouth. placing his head on their lips tracing it along the bottom lip up to the top. laying his cock in their face. “my god it’s like half my face.” tav teased knowing Halsin’s doing everything he can in him to keep calm and not beg. Throbbing at this point, precum soaks the tip of him.

“you’re just being mean at his point.” Halsin whines.

Giving in Tav takes the head of him into their mouth. Starting at the underside of his crown and dragging his tongue around wetting the tip and collecting the precum, before bobbing on the penis. using their hand tav jacks the shaft off halsin off while focusing on the tip with their tongue. removing their lips with a pop. Tav takes a big bite from the peach before using its juice to place sticky sweet kisses along the shaft and balls of halsin. rec tracing their steps with their tongue. they take halsin into their mouth fully.

Halsin feels the stick kisses so tenderly on this hot summer's day, As Tav takes him into their mouth halsin feels a sudden sense of being star-studded. his hips begin to rock into Tav's mouth pushing himself in. “good job, just a little more.” he says pushing in till his nose is pressed into his pelvis. letting out a deep roar of pleasure. Halsin releases the first wave of his orgasm pumping warm semen into the back of Tav's throat.

“That's right my heart, swallow it…all of it”

Tav pulls back swallowing the first of Halsin’s load, Tav is in a sense all loving pleasure is ready for more. Halsin grabs the small frame of Tav and flips them onto their back, resuming the position they started in. Halsin's figure moves downwards. He forms his hand into a sharp claw before using its talons to gently cut away your trousers. gods how much Halsin hated the confines of clothing.

Tavs sighs as their clothes are cut away, thinking not again. halsin’s large hands spread across their hips. delicately holding them. he wraps his legs around his hips pulling them closer he leaves small nibbles and love marks down their chest. marking them as his, he wants your companions to know what he can do.

"Mark me. Mark me so everyone knows who I belong to." tav says purring to halsin’s touch.

His cock still hard and ready he teases Tav's hole the same way they teased him dragging it along their folds, rimming your hole with his head. still sticky from your lips he enters you, stretching you out taking his time, halsin knows he’s large.

A loud moan escapes Tav's lips as they grind their hips trying to get deeper, Tav closes their eyes riding the wave of pleasure as Halsin starts to set a strong pace.

"Don't close your eyes, baby. Look at me."

Tav opens their eye to Halsin thrusting in them as he ties up his stray hair behind his head. grabbing your leg he lifts it to his shoulder. going in further, Tav moans loudly as Halsin places sweet kisses on their neck continuing to fuck Tav, Tav's breath quickens, and their knees begin to buckle, Halsin holds their lower back for support as he stretches Tav out. a strong breeze blows again cooling the sweat built up between you too a nice respite during the moment.

Halsin leans back, pushing his hips in more bringing himself to his hilt inside Tav, a small bulge in your stomach appears as Halsin’s large member thrusts into Tav, and a sudden rush of pleasure comes over Tav making their orgasm come crashing in, a flurry of moans slips tavs mouth. “Wait—uh—do…do that again.”

Halsin follows, slamming into tavs pleasurable spot. another orgasm follows through Tav. “don’t hold back” Halsin whispers.

halsin’s breath becomes more haggard, barely out together. his hands clench your hips as he slams a final couple of times releasing himself into Tav. filling tav with warm fluid. he pulls out spilling his fluids out of Tav before pushing them back in with his twitching cock. halsin plays with his overstimulated cock pushing his cum back into Tav watching their knees buck at the pleasure. another small load pulses from Halsin soaking the outside of tavs hole in my semen from the druid. Halsin and Tav cleaned up and laid under the tree together. before halsin remarks "I wanna go again." or "One more time! Please!"

“we’ve been gone a while let’s make our way back to camp eat dinner see the others and maybe tonight” Tav suggests chuckling

As Halsin and Tav stumbled back into camp, their clothes in disarray and their hair an unruly mess, Gale couldn't resist a chuckle. "Well, it seems like someone had a wild time out there," he quipped, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

Astarian, grinning mischievously, added, "I see you've been having your own kind of adventure. I hope you remembered to bring back some souvenirs." Both of them blushed but couldn't help but join in the laughter, knowing they'd just returned from an entirely different sort of escapade.

A/N: so I just needed! to write this, I have the next gale fic lined up already! like always dms are always open, i’d love to take request.

[lendeah]

After the Weave 1.

series masterlist

Summary:

After defeating the Nether Brain, Gale makes a promise to Tav: he will move to Waterdeep and marry her. However, he breaks his pledge when he feels the pull of his former goddess, Mystra, and leaves to forge the Karsus Crown and become a god, which leaves Tav feeling betrayed and alone.

Astarion, now fully consumed by the shadows, offers Tav a new mission. Together, they try to rebuild themselves and move on from their past. As they rely on each other in unexpected ways, they find a new sense of purpose and meaning, and realize that fate will always lead you back to where you belong.

Pairing: Astarion x OFC!Tav, past Gale x OFC!Tav

Tags: Angst, Drinking to Cope, References to Depression, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, Emotional Baggage, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Post-Break Up, Tav finds herself again with Astarion, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption, language.

Also on AO3

Being with him was like being enveloped in a warm, golden glow; his presence adding vibrancy and light to every moment. Even in the bleakest moments, when I felt lost in the chaos of battle, he remained a constant beacon of hope and love. His strong arms always provided support and comfort, our souls intertwining in ways I never thought possible. But every now and then, when the chaos around us subsided and we had a moment of peace, Gale would pull me away from the rest of our troop. We would find a quiet spot, away from prying eyes, and just be together. In those moments, it was like the rest of the world didn't exist. It was just him and me.

"With you, I forget my goddess. I love you" he had whispered in my ear, under a sea of stars. And in that moment, it felt like all of my doubts and fears disappeared. Gale's love for me was real and true; it was something worth holding onto amidst the chaos of war.

So as we stood victorious over the defeated Brain, I turned to the wizard with a triumphant smile and tears streaming down my cheeks. This was what we had risked our lives for, what we had fought and bled for.

"Beloved," Gale whispered, his voice brimming with emotion. "We have faced countless perils together, defying fate itself. Our love has withstood trials and tribulations that most would crumble under. I cannot fathom another day without you by my side."He took a step closer, our bodies gravitating towards each other as if pulled by an invisible force.

The crashing waves and salty sea air filled their lungs as they stood on the decks of the city, overlooking the ocean. The sun was setting in a blaze of pink and orange, casting a warm glow over our faces. "Let us leave this place," he said, his voice trembling with emotion. "We should go back home to Waterdeep. We can build a life together, away from the battles and the constant threat of danger. We can find solace in each other's arms, and create a haven where love and peace reign supreme." he took a deep breath, mustering the courage to add, "Let's get married." His words resonated deep within my soul, stirring a longing I hadn't realized was there. Yes, Waterdeep, the city of wonders and dreams, seemed like the perfect place to start our new chapter.

"Yes," I whispered, the word escaping my lips like a fervent prayer. "I'd be honored to marry you, Gale Dekarios."

He took me that same night, slow and deliberate, as if we had all the time in the world. As we laid in each other's arms, the the warm body next to mine, our intertwined hands, and synchronized breaths felt like an unbreakable bond, our future stretching out before us like an endless summer day. And through the days following the battle, it did. Helping reconstruct buildings, tending the wounded, and giving food and shelter to those in need; everything was keeping us so busy that I didn't notice the faraway look in his eyes. He still held me close at night, his touch as loving as ever, but something seemed to be weighing heavily on his mind.

One morning, exactly one week after the last battle, when my hand reached out instinctively to the side of the bed where Gale used to lay, I felt coldness that wasn't there before. The familiar scent of his cologne lingered in the air, but the silence revealed a very different reality. A heavy feeling settled in my chest as I tried to swallow down the lump in my throat. My eyes scanned our small tent frantically, searching for any sign of him, but all that remained was a single letter addressed to me. Its edges were slightly crumpled, evidence of many folds and unfolding during long nights. With trembling hands, I opened it and read every word carefully, trying to hold onto every piece of him that I could.

To my love

The crown is somewhere in the Chionthar. If I salvage the stones I can reforge it. Only then can I attain the power to protect us from all harm, my love. We could rule together, you as my goddess by my side as I ascend to godhood. I know I pledged to forsake my past for you, but now I must break that vow. The weight of this curse is too heavy for me to bear alone, and I cannot bear the thought of living with it forever. I need to confront her, to stand as her equal this time. I will do everything in my power to surpass her, to make up for all the wrongs she has done, even if it means leaving you behind. But you must understand that if I am successful, I will return to you and make up for all the time we have lost. Please hold onto hope and know that my heart aches with every step I take away from you.

Farewell, my love, until we can be reunited once again.

My tears turned into a relentless stream, blurring the words on Gale's letter as I read it for what felt like the hundredth time. Each phrase cut deeper than the last, carving painful wounds that would never heal. How could he do this to me? Betrayal and rage consumed me as I struggled to understand how the person who had asked me to marry him barely days before could turn their back on it for the sake of power and vengeance.

After that, everything became a blur. I found myself falling into a rhythm of constant busyness. I would wake up at the crack of dawn and immediately begin tackling the tasks that awaited me. And while it brought me some sense of fulfillment to help those in need, it also served as a convenient distraction from Gale's absence and his quest for power. If I kept myself busy enough, I wouldn't have time to dwell on my shattered relationship with Gale, on the nightmares that plagued my mind with the blood and death I had been through in the last year.

I had become known as the go-to person for any problem, big or small. I made sure to accept every task that came my way, no matter how difficult or time-consuming it may have been. Whether it was helping someone mend their broken roof or comforting a grieving family, I threw myself into each task with determination and purpose. But it wasn't just physical tasks that occupied my time. Many villagers would come to me seeking advice or simply wanting someone to listen to their troubles. And so, in addition to being their physical savior, I became their emotional support as well. For that brief moment when they smiled or thanked me for my help, all the weight on my shoulders lifted and for just a moment, everything felt okay again. Yet, behind my forced smile and empathetic words lay the reality of my shattered existence, haunted each night by the memories of my past as the darkness enveloped me.

Each night, I awoke drenched in sweat, my mind haunted by visions of cruel emperors, slaughtered gnomes, and fallen tieflings. The stench of death clung to me, as if the blood was still fresh on my hands. And the nightmare continued, as I woke up alone in a dirty basement, with no one to turn to. So it became my mission not to sleep; if I was busy and distracted, I didn't have time to think about Gale or death. And if my actions were making other people happy in the process, then everyone won.

However, as the days passed, I could feel myself becoming more and more distant from my friends. With Halsin, Wyll and Karlach gone, Lae'zel busy settling her people in the city, Shadowheart tirelessly rebuilding Selûne's temple, and Astarion retreating into the shadows, I felt completely alone. I found myself longing for their company, for the familiar banter and laughter we used to share. But every time I even attempted to reach out to them, something held me back. Maybe it was fear of being a burden or just not wanting to face my own emotions by confronting theirs. And even on those few occasions I did meet with Lae'zel or Shadowheart, I couldn't bring myself to tell them about Gale's letter or how much it hurt me because I couldn't bear to see their pity or judgment.

"He's just traveling. You know him, always seeking knowledge!" I lied through gritted teeth.

But deep down, I knew that the lie was eating away at my soul. The truth was too painful to voice out loud, even to my closest companions.

So, I buried my agony in feeling helpful, as I always did. I worked tirelessly to provide aid to those who had lost their homes and loved ones. I took on more tasks, stayed up later, and pushed myself beyond my limits. But it seemed like the harder I tried to deny my emotions, the louder they screamed for attention. My exhaustion finally caught up to me, both physically and mentally. One day, as I was helping a family rebuild their home after a devastating fire, I collapsed from exhaustion. The family helped me, of course, but word quickly spread that I had fallen ill. People began to avoid me, their once-welcoming demeanor turning cold and distant. They no longer sought out my help or accepted any aid I offered. This only added to my mounting frustration and despair, until finally, I reached my breaking point.

With nothing but time on my hands, the memories of Gale flooded back with a force that knocked me off balance. All those moments we shared flashed before my eyes in vivid detail – our first meeting on the portal, our adventures in the underdark, where we had first kissed, him asking to marry me... It was like ripping open an old wound that never fully healed. But even worse were the memories of slashing, cutting, severing flesh, of fresh blood and dead bodies. I needed another distraction; and that distraction came in the form of wine and rum. But even as I drowned my sorrows in ale, I knew it was a temporary escape. The sweet burn of alcohol numbed the pain for a little while, but it always came back tenfold once the drinks wore off. Before long, I found myself frequenting taverns more and more often. It was my new coping mechanism, my escape from reality. With each passing day, I could feel myself spiraling deeper into despair and self-pity.

One night, as I stumbled out of yet another tavern, swaying on unsteady legs, the piercing sound of my name being called cut through the fog of alcohol-induced numbness.

"Elara, what-?" The voice was familiar and filled with concern. "Oh gosh... he has left for good, hasn't he?" the tone was gentle but firm.

My dizzy eyes can make up a silver updo and tan skin. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself as I glance over at Shadowheart. Her usually warm and welcoming expression was replaced by a mix of concern and disappointment.

I let out a bitter laugh before taking another swig of rum. "No shit," my words are slurred and barely coherent. "I can't believe you really bought into that whole traveling bullshit."

Shadowheart's expression shifts from concern to irritation as she leans closer to me. "Don't you dare mock me," she hisses. "You know as well as I do that something is wrong with you."

I smile grimly

"Oh, so now you care?" I say, trying to glare at Shadowheart through bleary eyes. "You have been away for months and it's only now you decide to play the savior card."

Shadowheart's expression darkened at my words, and I could see the hurt in her eyes. But I am too angry, too drunk, to care.

"Well, I'm doing just fine," I continue, taking another long sip of my drink. "So why don't you return to your temple or whatever shithole you came from and leave me alone."

She rolls her eyes.

"Yes. Of course, you're doing fine. You're so fine that I found you lying in a tavern, wallowing in self-pity, drunk off your ass. Clearly the picture of good health and sound mind."

I scoffed, staring at Shadowheart with glazed eyes. "What do you know about me? About what I've been through?" My words slurred together, fueled by the mixture of anger and alcohol coursing through my veins. "You think you can just waltz back into my life and judge me? Well, you can't. You have no idea what it feels like to be abandoned by the person you love."

Shadowheart's brows furrowed, her normally composed demeanor faltering for a moment. "I do know" she snapped "In fact, the person I love is all the way down in the freaking avernus!"

The word hung in the air between us, the weight of its significance crashing down on me like a heavy stone. I stare at Shadowheart, the alcohol dulling my senses but unable to numb the pang of guilt in my chest. She's right - I hadn't even considered what she must be going through, separated from Karlach.

"I'm sorry," I mumble, lowering my eyes in shame.

Shadowheart's expression softens slightly.

"It's alright. I know you're hurting." She pauses, choosing her next words carefully. "But drinking yourself to death won't make the pain go away. It will only make things worse."

I struggle to keep my mouth shut, but my stubbornness gets the best of me and I shake my head defiantly. "I don't care," I mutter through clenched teeth, taking another long sip of my drink. But deep down, I know that's a lie. All I want is to forget, but part of me knows that I can't just push these feelings away so easily.

Shadowheart sighs and reaches to grab my hand.

"Listen to me," she says firmly, looking me in the eyes with a determined gaze. "I know how hard this is for you. But you can't give up like this. We need you - your friends need you."

A surge of anger rises within me at her words, and I jerk my hand away from hers.

"Don't talk to me about friends," I snap bitterly. "Where were my friends when I needed them? Everyone left." I choke "Everyone always leaves."

Shadowheart's face creases "We were all dealing with grief in our own ways."

I scoff and take another gulp of my drink.

"Grief? Is that what you call it? How convenient."

Shadowheart's eyes narrow slightly at my accusation, but she keeps her composure. "I never abandoned you," she says firmly."None of us did. We were worried about you."

I let out a bitter laugh.

"Sure, you were all so worried."

After a long moment, she lets out an exhausted sigh, seemingly coming to terms with the fact that I will not budge on my decision. "You know what? Fine. Drink yourself into oblivion," she says with a resigned tone. "But just know that when you're ready to face reality, we'll be waiting." Slowly, she turns and leaves the dimly lit street.

----------------------------------------------

Several days later, I find myself in a similar situation, but at a different place. I wanted to ensure that none of the others will attempt to track me down. While Shadowheart's words still hangered in my mind, I couldn't help but feel shame at the person I have become. It was hard to admit that I needed their help. Accepting it would mean admitting defeat and acknowledging that I hit rock bottom. But the hardest part was accepting that Gale would never come back to me, enduring the nightmares without any ale to numb them.

I sit alone at a table in the corner, watching the other clients as they laugh and drink with their companions. I envy their untroubled attitude and wish I could join in on their happiness. But deep down, I know that my grief is consuming me.

A group of rowdy half-orcs stumble over to my table, clearly drunk and looking for trouble. I try to ignore them, hoping they will just pass by. But instead, they stop right beside me and leer down at me with malicious grins.

"Looks like we found ourselves a little present," one of them slurs, gesturing towards me with his mug.

Another one takes a step closer and smirks at my face, his breath reeking of alcohol. "Look at her, all alone and pathetic."

My hands grip the edge of the table tightly as I feel a surge of anger rising within me. If I had my magic... But I take a deep breath and try to keep my voice steady as I respond,"There is nothing here for you."

The orcs, however, don't seem to care about my words as they continue to make crude comments about my appearance.

"All those scars, what are you? A mercenary?" one of them snorts, taking another step closer.

I feel a lump form in my throat as I struggle to hold back tears. Normally, I would have stood up for myself or even fought back, but tonight I am too lost in my own misery to even react. Suddenly, one of them reaches out and grabs my arm forcefully, causing me to flinch in fear.

"Come on, babe," he slurs. "I'll make you forget all about your troubles."

I start to panic, my mind racing as I search for a way out of this situation.

But before things can escalate any further, a strong hand grabs one of the men's wrists and forcefully pulls him away from me.

I look up to see a familiar face - For a second, I think it's going to be Shadowheart again, a flash of ivory hair aprearing in the corner of my eye. But then I realize it's someone much, much worse.

"Leave her alone," he growls, his voice full of authority.

It seems like they want to replicate, but once they take a look at his bared fangs, the half-orcs hesitate for a moment before backing off and leaving the tavern with grumbles and curses. When he turns his head back to me, Astarion has his usual smirk plastered over his face.

"Hello, my dear" His sharp features and piercing eyes send a shiver down my spine. "I see you've fallen quite low since our last encounter."

"What do you want, Astarion?" I spit out through gritted teeth, still shaken. Yet another companion to make fun of my state. Great.

Astarion sits down across from me, still wearing his smirk. "Just curious to see how you were coping without your favorite vampire comrade," he taunts, taking a sip of his drink. "Not very well, by the looks of you." he comments, gesturing towards my disheveled appearance. I feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment as I try to smooth out my hair and straighten my clothes. This is not how I wanted to be seen by any of my friends, let alone Astarion.

"Whatever" I reply nonchalantly, "Did Shadowheart tell you to come here?"

Astarion smirks, knowing exactly how to push my buttons. "No, no, she didn't. I just happened to be in the area and thought I'd check up on my dear friend." His words drip with sarcasm.

I scoff and take another swig of my drink, trying to ignore him.

"But really," Astarion leans in closer. "What happened? One minute we're all fighting side by side, and the next, you're drowning yourself in ale."

I glared back at him, feeling defensive. "None of your damn business."

He leaned back with a smug grin. "Ah, but I think it is."

I let out an exasperated sigh and take another swig of my drink, hoping he'll get the hint and leave me alone. But as usual, Astarion seems to enjoy getting under my skin. He reaches across the table and grabs my drink before I can protest.

"Hey!" I try to grab it back but he holds it out of reach.

"No more drinking for you," he says with a mock stern expression. "Now tell me what's going on."

"Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine." I say, trying to dismiss the conversation.

Astarion's eyes narrow as he studies me intently. "Fine? You look like you've been through hell." he states bluntly.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair again, feeling a sense of exhaustion wash over me. Maybe it's because of everything that has happened in the past few days or maybe it's just the alcohol finally catching up to me.

I glare daggers at him and finally relent with a heavy sigh. "Fine. Gale...he's gone."

"Gone?" Astarion's eyebrows raise in surprise. "As in dead?"

I shake my head sadly. "No...just...gone." My voice cracks on the last word and I have to take a deep breath to compose myself.

A look of understanding crosses Astarion's face and he nods slowly. "Well, it looks like he really went all in on his illusions this time."

I sigh, in no mood for jesting.

Astarion, sensing my lack of humor, leans back in his chair and adopts a more serious expression. "I'm sorry for your loss," he says sincerely, sliding my drink back across the table towards me.

I reluctantly take the drink and give him a nod of acknowledgment, appreciating his rare display of empathy."Thank you," I reply, my voice softening slightly. "I appreciate that."

He nods, seemingly lost in thought for a moment before speaking again. "Although, you know, at the end of the day it's Gale we are talking about, so is it really that big of a loss?"

I roll my eyes at Astarion's insensitive comment. "He was still a good boyfriend, despite his flaws," I reply pointedly.

"Hmm..." Astarion seems to be pondering this before shrugging nonchalantly. "Well, if you say so."

I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down before continuing. "Anyway, what do you want from me? You always have an ulterior motive for your visits"

Astarion smirks again, leaning back in his chair. "You know me so well," he drawls sarcastically. "I actually came here with an interesting proposition."

I raise an eyebrow skeptically. "What kind of proposition?"

He smirks, "You see, even though I excel at pretty much everything, it appears I'm struggling with the... spawn issue, if you know what I mean." He pauses dramatically, waiting for my reaction. "And being the hero that you are," he continues with a hint of condescension, "I was wondering if you could grace me with your whole knight in shining armor wisdom and help me out. Not that I actually need it, mind you. I just think even someone as skilled as myself needs guidance in this kind of situations." He leans back in his chair, with a relaxed smile.

"No"

His face falls dramatically. "What? What do you mean no?"

I roll my eyes.

"I mean exactly what I said," I reply firmly, not breaking eye contact with Astarion. "I have no interest in being your 'knight in shining armor' or helping you with any spawn issues. Find someone else to pester."

Astarion's face falls at my immediate rejection, but he quickly composes himself and leans forward with a suave smile. "Come on, darling," he purrs, reaching out to touch my hand. "Think of the thrill, the excitement of facing such a challenge together."He pauses and adds "just like the old times."

A wave of emotion washes over me at the mere thought. Memories of the past flood my mind, when Gale's presence provided a comforting weight on my side. When our group was at its strongest and most united, standing together against all odds. When everything seemed so easy, so at reach.

I reply with a bitter tone, "Those days are gone for good."

Astarion groans "Gosh, will you stop being so dramatic."

I raise an eyebrow at that. He is one to talk.

Astarion chuckles at my eyebrow raise, a playful glint in his eyes. "Touché, my dear." he admits. "But I'm serious about this, you know. We make a great team, you and I. And who knows, maybe hunting down vampire spawn will help distract you from your... sorrows."

I sigh, torn between the desire to wallow in my grief and the possibility of finding some kind of purpose again. I will admit, weeping and drinking myself to sleep every night does, while comforting, sounds sad. Plus, Astarion's proposition is tempting. At least that way I will have something other than ale to distract myself with.

"Fine," I finally relent, surprising both him and myself. "But Just because I'm agreeing to this doesn't mean I have forgotten you haven't reached out in months."

Astarion's smirk widens as he raises an eyebrow mockingly. "Oh, I would never dream of such a thing," he says with exaggerated sincerity."But let's just say, I did save your sorry behind from those hideous orcs. So I'd say we're even now."

I roll my eyes at his theatrics but can't help feeling a glimmer of anticipation deep within me. Perhaps there is still some fight left in me after all.

With a clap of his hands, he exclaims triumphantly,"It's decided then, dear Elara. You'll join me at the Crimson Palace tomorrow. I've already arranged for a room for you here," he says smoothly. "And trust me, it's much more luxurious than any tent or tavern room you've ever stayed in."

My brows furrow

"Absolutely not. I refuse to live in that sinister place." I say firmly. "Much less if it's with you"

Astarion lets out a dramatic sigh. "Oh, of course not. Because living alone in a moldy, cramped basement beneath the barracks is much more appealing."

I narrow my eyes at him suspiciously. It almost sounds like he's been planning this for a while now.

"Wait, what? How do you even..." And then, I know. "Shadowheart told you, didn't she? Is there anything she didn't tell you? That damned snitch."

Astarion chuckles at my outburst and shrugs nonchalantly. "She may have mentioned it," he admits with a sly grin."She has always been keen on gossip, after all."

I let out an exasperated sigh and shake my head.

Astarion grins, his red eyes sparkling with amusement "You can't expect me to trust you to do a good job while out of my sight. I mean, from what I see now, you could scape at any moment to get drunk and pass out in the street. And then, what good would that do to our poor spawn?" He says, pretending to be deeply worried.

I roll my eyes and cross my arms defensively. "Fine," I huff. "You win. I'll stay at the Crimson Palace, but only because it's the best option for the spawn."

Astarion raises an eyebrow in mock surprise. "Oh, so you do care about the spawn after all? I'm touched," he says sarcastically.

I shoot him a glare, and he relents with a smirk.

"Alright, alright. Enjoy your drinking session then. But don't forget, tomorrow we have important responsibilities."

"Ah yes, the joys of parenthood" I say sarcastically.

And to my surprise, I don't even finish my drink before returning to my basement, finally having something to look forward to.

[thetickleeraven]

Ticklish Tank

BG3 - Tav x Halsin x Astarion polycule

Summary: Tav is a strong, almost stoic leader and the tank of the party. Halsin, Tav, and Astarion are relaxing in a clearing in the forest when the two discover that Tav is ticklish. Tav is they/them, class and race unspecified but said to be a tank. [THIS IS A TICKLE FIC]

its literally been 11 months from my last fic and they may very well be my last tickle fic. idk we'll see how i feel. REMINDER THAT THIS BLOG WILL BE DELETED WITHIN THIS YEAR AND ALL MY FICS WILL BE ON AO3 FOREVER.

>>>BOOKMARK MY AO3 HERE<<<

---

The forest clearing is cool and quiet. In it stand three lovers: A druid, Halsin, admiring the beauty of nature at night; Astarion, a vampire basking in the moonlight; and Tav, a strong tank of a leader admiring the images of both their partners.

As Tav eyes the pale elf, Halsin approaches them from behind to wrap them in a hug.

The hug is a welcome surprise, as usual. However, not as usual, Halsin lays his hands on Tav's sides and notices them tense. He moves his hands down a bit and Tav begins squirming, cringes, and eventually jerks out of his hold with a smile giving away the reason.

Halsin is amused by Tav’s reaction. "Are you truly so sensitive that you couldn’t stand it?"

"What can’t they stand?" Astarion turns his attention to the two, curiosity piqued at the mention of their stoic leader presumably having some sort of weakness.

Tav's eyes widens knowing the last person who should know is Star.

"Our partner is just ticklish. That is all."

"Oh. That’s ‘all’ is it?" Astarion is suddenly predatory. Grinning like a wolf who happened on its prey. "I think we've just discovered our entertainment for the night."

"I-I'm not really ticklish." Tav curses inwardly for the stammer. "I'm just a little sensitive there, is all.

"Beloved, you and I both know that smile of yours gives it away. There is no need to be shy. Being ticklish is natural for you."

"No, I was smiling because you were hugging me, nothing more." They hold their hands up to defend theirself. They frustratingly couldn't wipe the smile off their face and a flurry of butterflies in their stomach, knowing what was probably coming.

"Oh, really now? is that why you're smiling still? With those pretty eyes of yours wide as saucers?" Astarion is stalking closer like an owlbear about to pounce.

Tav tries to suppress their smile as they slowly back away, and it almost works, until they see Astarion's fingers curl into claws. The knowledge that those swift thieving fingers would soon be prodding and poking all over Tav's (unfortunately) severely ticklish body was enough to swarm their belly with butterflies, almost tickling them from the inside out.

"I, myself, would love to hear you laugh. Throughout all our travels I don't think we've heard so much as a chuckle of you." Halsin muses.

"Yeah, you can keep dreaming." Tav turns to run, Astarion quick to follow. They dash through the clearing, Tav occasionally jumping over bushes or weaving through tress in order to get Astarion off their tail, though the elf is much too agile to be deterred that easily.. Halsin smiles, watching his lovers chase and play in the vast harmony of nature. It fills his heart, but he can't resist the thought of Tav laughing and beaming in the moonlight. With a wave of his hand, vines grow from the ground, tripping Tav in the middle of their chase, sending them flailing to the ground. Astarion leaps over the vines and skids to a stop, quickly dropping down to the ground and straddling their partner. Halsin quickly approaches the two, knowing the vampire, while capable, has no chance of holding down Tav on their own. He kneels next to the crown of Tav's head and wrestles their arms to the ground, holding them with his bear-like strength.

"This is ridiculous! I'm not even ticklish so this is a waste of time!" Tav protests, hoping somehow, against all odds, they can talk their way out of this.

"No amount of time spent touching your body is ever a waste of time." Halsin says.

"I must agree with our druid, darling. If you're not ticklish, well, you just get to enjoy having your lovers' hands all over you." Astarion raises his hands above Tav, fingers twitching as if they had a mind of their own just begging to make Tav squeal.

Tav feels their heart pumping and face heating up.

Their panic is interrupted by Halsin's low rumbling chuckle. "Red is a wonderful color on you, love."

"Oh, look. Our little pet is blushing, how disgustingly adorable."

"If you're just gonna compliment me, there's much more fun things we could be doing together." Tav tries to sound suave, hoping some flirtation and faux confidence could change their partners' minds to something else that doesn't involve them laughing their ass off.

"I agree. There is something fun we could be doing." Astarion smirks, a familiar flirty smirk that makes Tav think that maybe they've successfully deflected to that something else. Just as they're about to sigh in relief, Astarion's fingers dive towards their exposed ribs and start dancing and skittering across them, Tav's thin night shirt barely doing anything to dull the sensations.

Tav jolts violently and immediately chomps down on the inside of their cheek to keep from smiling or, gods forbid, giggling.

The scowl they planned to keep stays for about 2 seconds before morphing into a bright smile despite their best efforts.

Astarion has a look of unmatched glee at the strong reaction, knowing this is just the very beginning.

"Tav, it is alright to laugh. Don't fight your instincts. Just let it out." Halsin says with the fondest of smiles.

"It's like you don't know them at all. They're so focused on being a strong and great leader. They'd never give up so easily. Especially to something as silly and juvenile as tickling, am I correct?" Astarion says in that infuriatingly teasy tone only he can muster while his fingers continue to torment Tav's upper body.

"You are right, Astarion. They are notoriously stubborn."

"Remember how they said they weren't ticklish? So sure of theirself?"

"I do remember, yes." Halsin chuckles.

"Well..." Astarion coos in a sing-song voice as he puts more pressure in his pokes and prods. Tav's body instantly starts jerking and jolting side-to-side despite Tav trying to keep still and smooth their expression to nonchalance. However much they try, their eyes still crinkle, their smile still beam, their laugh lines still show.

"I suspect they might have been lying." Halsin raises an eyebrow with a radiant smile of his own as he gazes down at one of his loves.

"It's almost as if..." Astarion's fingers skitter up and down Tav's body, searching, hungry, for a good spot. "...they'll start laughing any second now."

Tav can't help it, when his fingers venture a little too high they let out a few very quick high-pitched giggles before chomping down on their lip.

The two ticklers expressions brighten victoriously.

"What's this? Is thiiiiiiis a good spot?" The vampire circles his index fingers around the hollows of Tav's armpits. Tav's eyes practically bug out of their skull and their frame begins shaking with barely contained laughter.

"I'd say so." Halsin says.

"Well then... I'd better not do this then!" Astarion, the evil EVIL bastard, begins scribbling his fingers across each armpit and poor poor Tav can't resist any longer. They explode into loud laughter interspersed with little fits of giggles before descending right back into helpless cackling. They yank on their arms and kick their feet, but nothing can stop those two.

Astarion grins a sadistic... yet somehow fond grin. Halsin's expression meanwhile melts into the sappiest and most endearing lovestruck look an elf could possibly muster.

"OHOHOHO MY GOHOHOHAHAHAHADS!" Tav fights hard, bucking, jerking, yanking, everything they can, but their partners didn't seem to care.

"What a lovely laugh you have there darling, though I could do with a lower volume." Astarion teases whilst his digits continue their mirthful torment.

"I have another idea." Halsin says with a smirk of his own.

"Oh, do tell." The rogue lifts his hands, mercifully giving Tav time to breathe.

"Y-You guys..." Tav takes a breath. "...are the worst."

"Careful what you say, darling. You might not like what comes next."

Tav bites their lip and resigns theirself to just catching their breath.

"Now, what was your idea?"

Halsin wordlessly waves his hand and lets the vines hold down Tav's wrists so he's handsfree.

"Oh hells, I can't take both of you." Tav whines.

"Oh, our poor leader, completely helpless. And they admit to not being able to take it? Now this is a side of you I could get used to."

Tav turns their face away, feeling it heat up again, though they're sure it was already red enough from the torture they just endured.

Halsin's form suddenly shifted and changed... he was using wildshape.

And the shape he chose?

The dire raven.

At first Tav didn't know where this was going. A bird? Why would a bird be the form to torture them?

"Oh, you are brilliant at this." Astarion giggles and reaches to the bird's wings who stretched them out for him. He then plucks...

Oh no.

The vampire now holds two long feathers, one in each hand.

Dread pools in Tav's gut along with another storm of butterflies.

Halsin shifts back to his elf form and lightly slides his fingertips across Tav's ribs. Tav can't hope to hold back, they're already broken. Tired helpless giggles spill from their mouth, causing both their tormentors to chuckle at the sight.

"You're a beautiful sight, indeed." Halsin continues gently sliding his fingers across Tav's body, lighting up their nerves like a cantrip.

"I wonder how you'll fare against these two little feathers? Surely the great Tav can take it, can't they?" The bastard slowly lowers the feathers... inching them closer to their underarms.

"No... no no noho nohoho-" Tav is positively giddy with anticipation, eyes glued to those damn things as they came closer... and closer...

"Tickle tickle, little pet." He begins fluttering the feathers agonizingly quick all across those two tickle spots.

Tav doesn't explode into laughter this time, rather bursts into a hysterical fit of unstoppable giggling. They shake, wiggle, and squirm as much as they can with a vampire straddling them and vines tight around their wrists.

"Gohohohods NOhohoho! Ihi- Ihihihi cahahahahan't!"

"Can't what, beautiful?"

Tav elects not to respond, instead succumbing to the giggle fit completely, almost sinking into the ground as they accept their mirthful fate.

It's almost relaxing. Despite the instinctive fighting their body does of its own accord, laughing uncontrollably is... soothing in some sort of way.

That is until Tav feels Halsin taking off their boots.

"NO! Nohoho no no NO! Hahahalsin Ihi swehehear on all Gohods in this realm ihihif you do thihihis Ihi wihihil kihihihick you!"

Astarion full on laughs at that, still not letting up on those godsdamned feathers. "Is this really all it takes? To get you to beg? To fall completely under our mercy?"

"I'll start soft. If you truly cannot take this, I think we'll know." Halsin laughs, knowing Tav has much more fight in them than what's being observed on this night.

All Halsin does is drag one fingertip from the heel to the toes.

"FUHUCK nohohohohahahaha! Hahahalsin!" Tav screeches, kicking as much as they can muster given the circumstances.

Astarion laughs hard, dropping the feathers to hold his stomach in sadistic cackling. "Yohohou're soho dead."

Halsin picks up one of the feathers and twirls it in his fingers. Tav had no idea the peaceful druid could be so cruel to his lover.

"Nohohoho-"

"Do it." Astarion snickers.

They truly were the metaphorical angel and devil on Halsin's shoulders. Torture Tav at their worst spot? Or let them go?

"Let's see if you can hold on a little more, then we'll let you go." Halsin says with a villainous smirk.

"Yes!"

"No!"

Devil it is.

All he does... all this elf does is start fluttering the feather over the arch of Tav's bare foot.

And in turn Tav begins thrashing uncontrollably, cackling and screeching helplessly. Tears of mirth are flying off their red hot face as its whipped from side to side and hiccups and wheezes litter their forceful laughs. The vines nearly snap from the tension. "STOHOHOHAHAHAP PLEHEHEHEASE!"

At that, the feather is dropped and Astarion, partially having been bucked off, is sitting on the grass to the side. After a few moments the vines are released and Tav curls into a ball, frantically rubbing the sensations on their soles away.

"Apologies, Tav. I believe... I believe I went too far." Halsin bows his head, regret evident.

"Oh, come off it. Sure it got a little extreme in the end but they were obviously enjoying it up until then." Astarion scoffs, though not without a sly smirk decorating his features.

"I... I was not-" Tav starts to object but is cut off with a quick fit of giggles as Astarion flutters his fingers just under their arm.

"Oh, you absolutely were. Don't even try to deny it."

Tav lays on their back, utterly exhausted. "...Was it that obvious?"

The two ticklers laugh.

"You could've made it clear in the beginning that it would make you uncomfortable. You know as well as we do that we would've listened."

"Plus those vines? With enough effort you could've snapped those before we brought out the feathers." Astarion snarks.

Tav shivers at the mention of those feathers. Gods they could practically still feel them.

Astarion snorts at their reaction.

"I believe we've disproved your lie." Halsin says smugly.

"Do it say it aloud, darling. You know we'd love to hear it."

Tav feels the return of those butterflies.

"Fine. I'm extremely ticklish. Happy?"

"Quite." Astarion pokes Tav's underarm, causing even more giggles. "I do hope you're aware this will become a regular occurrence now."

"I'd have to agree. This was most enjoyable... for everyone involved." Halsin nods.

"No more tonight." Tav yawns. "I'm more tired than when we fought that entire goblin camp in one day." They say groggily, eyes slowly falling.

Halsin chuckles and wildshapes into his bear form, laying on his side so his two lovers could lay on his warm furry body and fall asleep.

"Night night, Tav. Who knows what will await you come morning." Astarion sings.

Tav doesn't even respond, already out for the night.

And so the polycule slumbers for whatever awaits them tomorrow. (Probably more tickling)

[oonalovesastarionssimpleplan]

The fate of spawn Tav

An idea that could become reality.

"I wish we could retreat in our palace already, and spend a decade in each others arms."

And soon he will be watching your every step.

"But don't stray to far, but you'd never dreamed of doing that, would you?"

"Who were you talking to... about what? And.. Why?... My beloved spawn."

"Don't fred, I'll be watching, I'm always watching."

And after years of fearing that you - like himself- might find someone who could open your eyes. That someone comes who sees your chains and points them out, so that you realize that you are not really free.

That you might be tired of waiting for his promised world domination. The fear that you recognize his masquerade, that his sweet words bounce off and his body no longer has any effect on you. That you, the only person who cares about him, will come up with the idea of ​​running away. Then he explores the Arcane lock. The spell that Cazador spoke on the coffin that held him captive for a year.

"Follow me, i have a surprise for you, my dearest treasure."

His cold fingers rest on your eyelids, his body leads you gently but demandingly through the corridor.

His familiar scent of bergamot and brandy surrounds you and covers the dusty smell from the attic. You hear the hinges of a door, step on creaking floorboards. His soft fingers slide off your skin and your eyes explore a luxuriously furnished room. You see a bed with silk sheets and fluffy fur of rare animals. Countless shelves with all the books that Fearun has produced in the last hundred years. Golden cups encrusted with rubies. Paintings from foreign countries. A window that lets you look over the roofs of Baldur's Gate to the far East.

"It's all just for you, you like it, don't you?"

He puts his thumb on your chin.

"You'll be fine here, you don't have to fear anyone here. And don't worry, you won't be alone for long. I'll come to see you when my desire for you is strong and then we can lie in each other's arms for hours, days... months."

His lips rest on your forehead and whisper unknown words.

You see the door behind him slowly closing and a blue shimmer settles on the wood.

"You're mine. Forever."

[actuallyevilgay]

Oneshot: Charmed

Ascended Astarion x male reader DNI if you are a minor. Dead dove, don’t eat. Please read my about before replying.

Content Warnings: Some Mind Control through a spell, but not for explicit purposes. Tav has a brief history of being a reluctant sex worker but has worked through his trauma. Summary: Tav runs into Astarion 10 years after the defeat of the netherbrain at a party hosted in Baldur’s gate. Notes: Tav would be of a long living race for some context. Obviously spoilers for act 3 etc. No heroic Tav.

A/N: I will be returning to the Apathy sometime soon, but holidays are busy and I had this oneshot in mind.

……

You are healthy. At least that’s what you tell yourself, strong as you are.. Some things are worse than the scars of your body from all the fighting you had to do ten years ago. Before the mind flayers and the tadpole, your life had been a mess. Living as a criminal and thief, willing to do anything morally questionable in order to survive. You shut off the part of yourself that was empathetic towards others, only to regain some of it when you made friends for the first time.

They didn’t know when they met you, what you’ve been through. And even as you told them, you could scarcely feel anything towards it yourself. Not until Astarion. Not until you met someone who understood. If anything, you thought what happened to him was even worse, but he refused to let you think that way. He couldn’t accept that.

When you were a young adult, one of your heists had gone severely wrong, a Zhentarim agent captured you. To repay your debts, you had to serve as a bed companion for some of the most heinous clients the organisation had. At the time, you didn’t care for the cost.. Just the outcome. Being a sex worker wasn’t all that bad, you had convinced yourself. You were treated well most of the time as long as you didn’t act out and did what you were asked to do. To play on every fantasy at the request of your paying customers.. Even if the money wasn’t yours to keep.

They provided you with clothing, food, and comfortable places to sleep. It was an exchange. Much better than sleeping on the streets and mobbing unwitting strangers.

The scars that were made during that time no longer itch and hurt. When the mind flayers for some reason decided to grab you on your way to escort someone, freedom was not something you had thought about in a very long time. The thought of having to find your own meals and make your own camp was strange and abnormal in the midst of everything. 

You could go anywhere you wanted. If not for the parasite problem that required fixing.

The adventuring days that followed left you with many beloved memories, as well as tearful ones. When Astarion tried to seduce you with his usual script, you simply looked him up and down and finished all his sentences, adding; ‘’I know what you’re doing.’’

‘’You’re not the only one looking for protection.’’

It wasn’t long until you ran into Zhentarim again, the dread sinked in.. And so your personal quest became a plot of revenge you didn’t know you so dearly wanted.

It was so satisfying to fight side by side and kill off every damn Zhent you could get your hands on. You took great pleasure in using your newfound strength and allies for this purpose.

The rage you had subdued before spilled out with every breath you took from them.

Equality was very important to you, equal exchange.. And so, you helped Astarion get his revenge and gain the powers he so craved.

You were in love with this man, and he had loved you in return. However.. During the night after the defeat of his torturer, Astarion’s choice of words put you off really bad. You hadn’t processed your trauma at the time, you hadn’t given it space.. It reminded you too much of something you’ve gone through before. A conversation you’ve had before.

‘’I’m not.. Ready to make such a commitment.’’ You hesitated, even if you wanted to be with him forever.. To be safe in his arms, it hit a little too close to home. He wasn’t the one who hurt you, yet your instincts made you brace yourself.. Set up walls. Keep him out.

His fears and anxieties of losing you made him overreach and speak out of turn, so you broke up with him out of fear and heartbreak.

The morning after was the worst memory of your already plentiful collection of awful memories. It broke you, over and over again. 

Maybe he had changed.. But you couldn’t judge him for craving power. You had craved power yourself, as it was something you literally never had access to before mindflayers kidnapped you. All you knew was petty crimes and reluctant servitude.

You didn’t hate it entirely after all.. Perhaps, had you been given the chance to become a sex worker on your own terms, choose your own clients and have your own autonomy, it wouldn’t have left you so damaged.

10 years pass by, The heroes of Baldur’s gate are invited to a party hosted as Wyrm’s crossing. Something about a statue being built in their honour.

When the invitation of Withers arrived at your doorstep, you weren’t on speaking terms.. With anyone for that matter. You avoided the city entirely. 

But this new invite, came to a Tav that had long since healed from his wounds. Come to terms with the things he’s been through. Embraced his sexuality, and grew more comfortable with the world around him.

In those ten years you’ve done all sorts of things, mostly adventure.. Solving mysteries, and occasionally helping your friends on their endeavours. Sometimes, you would re-indulge your vengeance and chase out whatever Zhentarim stronghold you could find on your travels. They feared you. They tried to be rid of you so many times.. But no, If you see Tav, try to be diplomatic. Screw that. If they dared to exist near you, they were as good as dead. And after some time, you rarely saw them again. Perhaps they had designed ways to avoid you entirely, business routes, hidden caches. As long as you didn’t see a Zhentarim symbol on your travels, you stopped caring about them.

One thing you hadn’t done was fall in love again. Gale had exclusively chased after you not too long ago, which you agreed to pursuing at first. Eventually Gale ceased his attempts at courting you, when he came to realise you were not over Astarion at all. 

‘’I’ve had my tribulations with my long lost affections for Mystra.. But Tav, this is different.’’

Gale eyed you with worried glances, his face had aged much the past ten years. You were trying. You wanted to fall in love again. You loved Gale, but it was clear you did not feel the same way as he did for you.

‘’I know we were planning to attend the party as a couple.. But I can’t let you do this to yourself.’’ Gale let out a deep sigh. ‘’Or to me, for that matter.’’

‘’Are you breaking up with me?’’ Your voice was more of a whispered mumble, rather than outright spoken. ‘’It.. It appears so.’’ Gale’s response made you realise he had matured more than you had the past 10 years. Not just physically. Emotionally.

You may have overcome the things that were done to you, but not your heartbreak. Whenever Gale wanted to talk badly about your past relationship, you shut down and refused to even think of Astarion that way. ‘’He has his reasons, he didn’t mean it.’’ Your defences barely made any stance. You were the one that ran away.

‘’What Astarion said to you was horrible, and if he wanted your forgiveness he should have chased after you, despite all his shortcomings.’’ Gale Reflected, only for you to stumble over your words and go silent.

‘’I can chaperone you at the party, Tav, so you don’t have to feel alone.. But let's not pretend this is something else anymore.’’ Gale put his hand over yours, giving you an assuring squeeze. ‘’I will always be your friend.’’ He smiled with such kindness, that it put tears to your eyes.

Then the realisation hit your gut. Astarion would likely be at the party, and that worried Gale more than trying to sway you over to him. Was Gale afraid of the Vampire Ascendant? Or was he simply worried for your wellbeing? No.. Gale definitely learned to care for his own wants. That’s why he broke up with you, not because of your ex being a powerful vampire lord. This relationship with Gale was never that official. You went on several dates, you’ve kissed him a few times. It didn’t get that much further. You didn’t want a rebound.

‘’You’ve gone through so many battles, Tav.’’ Gale released your hand. ‘’Focus on how far you’ve come.’’ 

The party at Wyrm’s crossing had a dress code. One you intended to follow. Ten years ago you wouldn’t have picked such flimsy attire, yet tonight you did. You wanted to show off as much as anyone else. And damn the hells, You looked great. Not just great- No, mesmerising.

It was somewhat revealing, showing your neckline and exposing a portion of your chest. It was loose  and comfortable around the transparent fabric of the sleeves, but tight around the waist. It had a cape akin to a draping sparkling veil, gently gliding over the ground with your every step. You were not here to escort someone, you were here to be celebrated. To show your face after you disappeared for ten years.

To save yourself from the stress of potentially seeing him, you crossed Astarion out of your mind and focussed on mingling and dancing with strangers and old friends alike. You were having fun, you haven’t smiled this much in some time. It was a good idea to come.

‘’You haven’t aged a day!’’ Shadowheart exclaimed, ‘’Neither have you-’’ You quickly responded, grinning as she examined your outfit. ‘’Are you well? What am I saying.. Of course you are well! Look at you!’’ Her hands gestured towards the fine embroidery. 

‘’That must’ve cost a fortune,’’ She muttered. ‘’..Do you-’’ She was unsure how to word it, because it may have come out wrong otherwise. ‘’Uhm- Which one..’’

‘’Oh, I don’t have a boyfriend.. And I didn’t like the outfits gifted by the party’s benefactors.’’ You replied, waving your hand awkwardly, hoping to cross out her assumptions of the list. ‘’I bought this myself with my own money. Have to show off I’m my own person somehow, right?’’ Some part of you felt strange saying that, even if it was true. 

Your eyes glanced towards Gale, seeing him chat with Minthara of all people. The conversation must’ve been interesting enough for her to stick around.. Huh. People change.

Astarion changed.

His eyes met yours, and you both froze in place. He was standing all the way to the other side of the hall, surrounded by a large group of nobles. His expression was not the one you remembered of him.. You couldn’t tell if he was shocked or surprised.. Or- More likely, he had been staring at you for a while now and was startled to see you look back.

You turned your head abruptly, hoping he would ignore you. The walls you’ve so carefully crafted to guard your heartbreak all came back to you. Don’t even think about it.

Don’t go to him. Don’t give him that pleasure.

Every fibre in your being was fighting it. Shadowheart continued talking to you, telling you of a story about reconnecting with her parents. Her mother had passed away a few years ago, and she got a selunite hairpin to remember her by, proudly showing it off.

‘’I wonder if Dame Aylin and Isobel are doing well.’’ You muttered, making Shadowheart look at you with excitement in response. ‘’Oh trust me, they are.’’ She continued to gossip, talking about Karlach and Wyll, and even her own relationship with Lae’zel.

‘’There was some suspicion you were dating Gale, actually.’’ She whispered, leaning in, ‘’Is it true? Is that why you arrived together?’’

‘’I didn’t realise you were such a romantic, Shadowheart..’’ You shook her head. ‘’No, I’m probably not going to fall in love again. ..That part of my life is over.’’ The confidence in your voice lacked some strength, but it was enough to satisfy her.

You did want to fall in love with Gale. He was great- even if your lifespans greatly differed, you wanted to stay with him. Yet your affections were more platonic than they ever were romantic. Forcing yourself to be with him was not good for either of you. And thus, it was better to not speak of it again. Lest you hurt him or yourself more.

Out of a hint of desperation in your heart, you quickly glanced back to where you’ve caught Astarion staring back at you before. He was gone. Likely moved on to another row of nobles and high status people to mingle.. Good. He wasn’t planning on talking to you then. Good.

Not good.

Shadowheart took only a moment to wrap up another story before leaving you entirely alone.

Across the crowd, you tried to find your other friends again, casually dancing with some strangers to the music and answering redundant questions of fans.

Exhausted of all the moving around, you positioned yourself near a table, and took a break to drink some wine. 

Once the dear folk of Baldur’s gate had decided to leave you be, one noble in particular decided to finally approach you.. None other than Astarion himself.

‘’Hmm, I have to say, Darling, I’m a little disappointed you didn’t accept my gift.’’ He casually uttered without greeting you, looking you over as he grabbed a drink for himself. ‘’Wh-’’ You weren’t sure what he was referring to, before he gestured to your outfit. ‘’This is.. You are.. Hmm.’’ He stopped himself, trying to think of a better compliment. ‘’Leaving me speechless, as always. Gods- You’re beautiful, just as I remember.’’ You stare at him, freezing up. Get a hold of yourself.

‘’Oh.’’ Was all you can muster.

‘’Oh?’’

‘’..You were talking about the outfits I was offered to wear.’’

He looked to you with a brow raised, only to realise you must’ve thought he was talking about his Eternal Gift. No, no, no. That wouldn’t have been just a little disappointing. It was something he regretted not being able to give to you.. Clearly. His expression said a lot of things, but disgust was not one of them.

To avoid talking about the breakup, you tried to make conversation.

‘’Which.. One was yours? There was a lot, mind you. And you didn’t leave a letter, I would’ve known.’’

He sighed. ‘’Clearly not something to your taste,’’ He smirked. ‘’Otherwise we’d be wearing matching outfits.’’ You couldn’t tell if that was a joke or a flirt. There was a glint of entitlement in his voice.

You examined his garments, recalling the surplus of outfits you unboxed. All gifts for you to keep. A Majority of which you tossed, only to recall a particular outfit you liked being shelved for another time. ‘’..Ah. That one.’’

‘’That one? Is that all I’m getting out of you?’’ He turned his nose up, trying to hide his annoyance.

You tried to understand what he was even trying to achieve with this conversation.. His tone of speaking felt bitter, condescending at times. 

‘’Darling, you must realise by now that I am still not over you.’’ He admitted, leaning in closely.

‘’I hope you have been well.’’ He smiled gently, there was some mischief in his eyes.

What the hell are you supposed to do with that? Hug him- Kiss him- Tell him how you feel! Tell him what you want- Tell him. Tell him.

No! Don’t tell him! He said awful things. He’s not even acknowledging them- Does he know? Does he care? What the fuck is wrong with him? Walk away.. Walk away.. Please, feet.

You stayed as you were, sipping your wine, waiting for him to continue speaking as you forgot to answer his question. He sighed- Perhaps reciting something in the back of his mind. Nefarious plans? Scripts? No. They don’t work on you. You could tell when something wasn’t from the heart.

He could think of what to say for days on end, plan poetry, to win you back he had to be honest on his intentions.

‘’Tav, I want you to be with me.’’ Came from his lips, his expression changed, a softened gaze. Fearful. Anxious. For a moment your heart fluttered, and then.. ‘’As you should be. You should’ve been-’’ The possessive undertone made you take a step back.

The words fell out of your mouth before you could think.

‘’If I wasn’t ready then, why would I be now?’’

Your once so confident expression, replaced by a gloom. ‘’So forward, aren’t you? Always talking about what you want.’’ You let out a deep sigh as He grew quiet to your defiance, leaning in again.

‘’Don’t.’’ You held up your hand to keep him from getting closer. ‘’I can’t take it. I can’t.’’ Tears swell up in your eyes. ‘’You’re going to say hurtful things again, toss me aside like it doesn’t matter how I feel.’’ A deep breath.

‘’How could I consider Forever, when we were about to fight the Netherbrain? Rush into marriage? Right then and there? Astarion.. You were asking too much of me. I had things to work through. You too, I gather.’’

His posture straightened again as you stopped talking. Your eyes turned to the wall beside you. Hoping he’d walk off, hoping he’d lose interest in you. You wanted to be with him so bad, it hurt you more that he actually still wanted you.

He was considering what you were saying, puzzling it  and turning it in his head. ‘’I admit, that was wrong of me.’’ His words broke the silence. ‘’I was more afraid of losing you, and then I lost you.’’ There was a crack in his voice- his posture changed again.

Mischievous and questionable.

‘’I’m sorry, Tav.’’ His hand reached up and turned your chin to face him, wiping away a few tears with his thumb. ‘’Forgive me, Darling.’’ A faint, but sad smile coated his lips.

What you did next, he didn’t expect.. You pulled him close by his collar, about to kiss him, only to withdraw and turn away. He wrapped his arms around you with a strength you never felt before. ‘’Please, don’t make this harder than it is.’’ He pleaded, needy. ‘’I know- You don’t trust me now, but I can’t have you walk off now. Not again. I won’t.’’

You stopped squirming, accepting that his grip on you was one of desperation and not to hurt you. ‘’If you want to talk, you don’t have to corner me.’’ You replied with a hint of discomfort.

‘’This will be over soon.’’ His response concerned you, chilling. ‘’What? What’ll be over soon?’’

You raised your brows as he buried his face in your neck, feeling him grin against your exposed skin.

Maybe you should’ve picked a different outfit.. He could bite you and drain you just there and then, easily. He is a vampire lord. The damn vampire ascendant himself. You fool.

You shivered at the thought, expecting teeth in your neck any moment.

‘’Don’t worry darling, I’ve made arrangements.’’ He removed his face from the crook of your neck and stroked your cheek. His undead lungs heaved with a breath of excitement.

‘’-What? What are you saying?’’ Fear overtook you, your eyes darting around trying to find your friends. ‘’They are fine, I promise! I would never hurt them.’’ He hoped to see you calm down, loosening his grip around your waist.

In that same second, you manage to twist yourself free, so he grabs your arm and pulls you back, placing a hand to your chin to make you look him in the eye. ‘’Impero te.’’

The Charm spell takes hold, and you stop fighting him. You knew this spell. You’ve used it yourself before, many times. It was particularly useful during heists, or to get a client to stop being rough with you. You’ve had this cast on you by foes before, as invasive as it is. Yet.. This was different. You were self aware enough to notice the change. The walls.. They just fell. All the mental defences, all the reasons to push him away and run off just dropped. The pain you felt from his hurtful words ten years ago stung one more time, as you relaxed in his arms. Frozen in time, unwilling to move away from him.

Why did you say no again? His eyes look to you with sadness, before pulling you in a hug and pushing your face into his chest. He gently caresses through your hair, sighing with some sense of relief.

‘’I would never want to hurt you,’’ The guilty tone in his voice echoes as he places a kiss on your head. ‘’Just this once. Please forgive me.’’ His sadness burns through you, you touch his face affectionately on instinct.

He stops you from trying to kiss him this time. ‘’Not like this.’’ He replies. ‘’..Not like this.’’ He repeats.

You barely hear the sound of the chaos behind you, Astarion makes sure to cover your eyes with his embrace when he notices it. The charm makes you focussed on all those feelings you pushed aside the past ten years.. Gods.. Ten years since he last held you. Ten years since you kissed.

As obsessed with you as he was, he refused to take advantage of you with the spell.

He only used it to restrain you from running off, no matter how much of your bottled feelings came spilling out. 

You held onto him tightly, your fingers entangled in his fine garments. Some of the strings of embroidery had come loose from how deep your fingers dug into the fabric.

‘’My sweet, come.’’ His arms guided you to walk with him into a different direction, still making sure you could not see what was happening.

His grip then tightened a little, firm- but gently, aware the spell was starting to wane. He could cast it again of course, to make it last longer. He hesitated. Once the spell ended, he could likely not do it as effectively again.. He was thinking about it.. Too late.

‘’Harpers!’’ You expected Jaheira’s voice, but it was someone else. Likely one of their high ranking members. Dead bodies were scattered over the floor. Bodies of all sorts of people- on closer look- guards, nobles, people you didn’t expect Harpers to attack.

Vampire Spawn. These people were slain Vampire Spawn.

How many of the guests- All this time.. Were Astarion’s sleeper agents? You lost count, at the very least your friends were not among the bodies. Astarion may have done something to make them leave the building because you struggled to find them before.

The look on his face already told you what you needed to know: This was not part of his plan. The harpers had come to snuff him out. And they were failing- The battle was primarily overwhelmed by the amount of people on Astarion’s side.

Not once did they manage to get close. Astarion protectively guided you towards the exit, followed by The watch which at this point was obviously mostly made up of Vampire Spawn.

‘’You organised this party, didn’t you?’’ You questioned, allowing him to drag you along this time willingly. ‘’Why?’’

‘’This wasn’t the plan..’’ He mumbled something, cursed too, not answering. You tried to stop him from moving further. ‘’You want me to trust you? Talk. Use your words, Astarion! Use your fucking words!’’ Your anger was bursting through, rightfully so.

‘’You came either way, didn’t you?’’ Astarion’s response was a flat confession of truth.

As you stared into his eyes with the storm of emotions boiling through your own, his wicked smile turned to discomfort as an arrow found its way into his shoulder. As the Vampire Ascendant, he quickly discarded it, waiting for the wound to close up right away.

It didn’t heal. Shit.

‘’Godsdammnit-’’ He was about to curse some more, you pressed your hands to the wound to stop the bleeding. ‘’Let’s just go-’’ Without much else to say he lifted you up, shielded by his spawn who were fending off the Harpers. 

The harpers weren’t winning, but he did take a good hit. The arrow must've been laced with holy water or something to keep him from healing. Necrotic damage? Illmater’s arrows? His blood coated your hands.

Certainly he was strong enough to walk off such a blow. It did hurt him, he was not immune to pain. Your panic rose even if he remained calm and firm, carrying you out of the building followed by a horde of regular looking people all swarming around you. 

Gods.. He has been busy. The entire city must’ve been made of mostly spawn and loyal followers. Wherever your friends were- He found a good enough distraction for them not to notice this chaos.

The fight for the escape continued, leading back through the Basilisk gate, and making a way through suspiciously empty streets. Straight towards his crimson palace, only to stop at an alleyway and be guided into what seems to be secretly constructed tunnels.

‘’Urgh.’’ Astarion gritted his sharp teeth, the bleeding stopped, but it definitely hurt, even as it healed slowlier than it should. ‘’I Should’ve planned more, Harpers have no respect for romantics.. Oh Dear.’’ 

A group of Harpers found their way in, fighting the watch while Astarion focussed on keeping you safe in his arms. It bothered you,  he refused to put you down.

‘’YOU!’’ A loud voice echoed, followed by the loud battle screams of other Harpers. It was Rion, Jaheira’s adopted daughter. ‘’This is all your fault!’’

You looked to Astarion, questioning what he had done.. His face contorted in anger. ‘’I have warned you once. She became too nosy. I gave you a choice, Rion. Now I’m going to have to kill you. I’ll be quick, I am not as cruel as you think.’’

‘’A little pity party to get back with the hero of Baldur's gate? How cute.’’ Rion looked to you, then back to him. ‘’Oh no, I didn’t come here for you, most Gracious Vampire lord. I blame him. For you.’’

Rion drew her weapon, fearless. Surrounded with the remainder of her harpers. You did not recognise them, but they just voiced blaming you for Astarion… Yes. Because of you, Astarion was in the position he was in. Because of you, Rion and her band walked happily to their deaths.. To do what exactly? Revenge? Jaheira is probably dead, that would explain these events.

You questioned if you cared, you were living your life happily all this time even when alone..

Now these people were after your life. And they would come after you even if you escaped.

Getting lost amidst your thoughts, the fight continued. Unable to move from your position to help, without weapons and wearing flimsy thin party clothes. It was already stained by Astarion’s blood, getting torn as Astarion pulled you from side to side while fighting off his enemies with his other hand wielding a rapier.

You managed to get a few cuts on you here and there, as he killed them off one by one with ease, even without the help of his spawn.

Silence.

Astarion huffed, his eyes Feral, holding you firmly. The clothes you were so proud of were mostly torn, the cape was gone, the scraps of the top was only supported by your waist band. ‘’..I feel naked.’’ You murmured, processing everything.

Astarion then let you go, watching you cover your exposed skin with your arms, rubbing the chill away. The tunnels are cold and dead as are the bodies of the dead harpers and vampire spawn.

‘’There’s no going back from here, it seems.’’ You spoke, turning your heel, examining the tunnel distance. Astarion’s disgruntled, stressed expression scanned over you.

‘’Their blood is on my hands, as much as it is on yours.’’ Not literally of course, the only blood on your hands was whatever would pour from his flesh wound earlier.

Any other saintly person would scream murderer at him, but not you. You were a criminal before you were a hero. You’ve done heinous things yourself in the past and the present, perhaps this was karma at work.

‘’What was your plan?’’ You asked, trying to distract him from the chaos.

‘’To sweep your delicate self off your feet and take you out to dine,’’ Astarion sighed. ‘’One last attempt.. I set up this treasure hunt to get everyone else away from you, portalled them all the way to Waterdeep. Meticulous planning that depended on you coming at all.’’ There’s a slight dishonesty in his tone. Had it gone the way he wanted, he might’ve bitten you after managing to get you in his bed again. Without asking if he could. 

Knowing yourself, you probably would have accepted the date eventually, laying down all your defences. The charm spell he used earlier didn’t fully take hold of you, it just reminded you of how you felt about him, erasing the pain that kept you away. There was a breath of relief in your mind, acceptance.

‘’Perhaps you should’ve just done it rather than ask.’’ As you say this, you see it greatly upsets him, knowing what you meant instead. 

‘’No.. I should have never said I’d ruin your love. This is on me. I wanted to give you everything Tav, I wasn’t in control of my emotions.’’ His frustration with himself and forcing out his own confessions hurt whatever instinctive pride was in his veins.

The bodies of the guards and harper’s stench finally reached your noise, making you lose balance.

 ‘’I can be patient, If I have to be.. Even if I can’t stand it. For you- My treasure. My darling.’’ He caught you as you stumbled back in his arms. Humming happily and rubbing his face against your head. ‘’Little love-’’

A sting of pain and a sensation of warmth leaving your chest.. You look up to see Astarion look in terror.

He’s been stabbed in the back by a blade, a half dead Rion holds it, shaky, weakly. ‘’Fuck. You.’’ Is all she can muster before she drops down with a final breath. Still- That is not the cause of his shock.

The blade connected you two, while Astarion would easily recover from the new wound.. You would not. His cold blood streamed right into yours, numbing you. 

Would this turn you..?

Your sight blurs, and your mind slowly fades to the death thrums of your heart. Faint sounds of sobbing and screaming ring through your ears. As Astarion pulls you close.

The next time you regain consciousness, you feel even colder. A weight is hanging over you. You twitch, trying to gather what is happening.. Your eyes refuse to function. You can tell that you are lying on a bed, still wearing the same ruined party clothes. Astarion is on top of you.

There’s a sting on your shoulder, neck, as well as your wrist. The blurred image of Astarion holding your wrist  affectionately comes into vision. You barely feel his teeth in your skin when the delirium begins to set in again.

‘’Astarion..’’ Your words slur. ‘’..I love you..’’ 

Your vision starts fading once more alongside all sensation.

When you return to the waking world, you’ll forgive his transgressions, accepting his dark kiss.

[delightfulastariontreat]

Continuation of the part four :

Moments before dawn Astarion had rocked her body gently, as he put it, with his immensely strong one, and thrusted that last bit (he knew she could handle for now ) in waves of ecstasy ; that left he begging for more. Yet, her body , after crying out his name one last time, had been for love. She'd admitted it in a whisper, but doubted he heard it. She sensed , before a deep sleep would follow overtaking her body, he had paused and looked at her lovingly. " Darling, you doubt that I had heard when you whispered that you loved me. " He paused, and showered her jaw with soft loving kisses. " I did, and I love you, too, my treasure. " A small smile played on his lips. Tav saw it and smiled back." I do love you, Astarion. " She said, tears filling her eyes. " I know, darling. " He replied, softly and kissed her tears away. A gasp and then the last shift of her body, from the last wave of orgasms, ebbed away with squeezing gently around the strength and firmness of his length. He soon joined with a gentle shake of his own , undulating his hips into hers, deliciously, and streamed into her awaiting one --warmth of his seed. A pre gift to a lifetime with her and fullness of life of ecstasy with him, he joined with hers deeply moaning in the back of his throat and shut his eyes tight--as bright lights flashed before his mind's eyes in vivid colors, and then subsided suddenly. He collapsed his body beautifully against hers.

When Astarion opened his eyes again, Tav opened hers and breathed out her appreciation into his open mouth, licking down his tongue with hers. " Astarion, mmmm. " She whispered from underneath him, breathless. " Nmm, thank you . " She sighed, as their naked bodies rested together in the cool of the grass. " Yes, my love. I know. " He responded in the same manner and kissed her forehead, gently. " We'll join the others at dawn , and re-combine our efforts to finding the House of Hope. " He paused, then continued in a breathless whisper , as he smoothed out her cheek and chin with a gentle feathery touch of his thumb. " Does that sound good, darling? " He finished with a question.

Tav nodded and sighed sweetly with a smile on her face, as Astarion pulled his length out of her satisfied body , and laid down beside her to the contentment in her face and body. Then, he gathered her body into a gentle embrace and sighed sweetly with her. He closed his eyes for the moment, then opened them to focus in on her face, as he lifted her chin.

" Astarion? Would you---" Tav was hushed by the light tap of Astarion's fingertips on her lips, and then landed a soft kiss on them. " Shh, shh, shh, you need your rest, my little treat. " He responded, gently, slightly shaking his head. Tav nodded again sleepily, and agreed with him silently, he pulled her tighter into him. She closed her eyes and then he soon followed with his own closing with hers. It was pure bliss and Astarion reveled in it, this jewel of a moment. Tav was all his and he didn't want to let go of her. Because soon, he knew they would be in the battle, nor if fir their own lives, bur for all of those living in Faerun and Baldur's Gate. Not a thought he wanted to dwell on, at the moment. Just a rest with his beloved.

FIN

Whew! I am done with this scene. I completed it tonight. I'll be sure to include the Prequel to this scene " This Bite of Tonight " . But, enjoy my completed work! 😊😊😊

[tru-lyly]

“I- you came back—”

The first thing Elarin knows after the old god speaks life into her, after he plucks her from the lonely planes of the dead and ferries her from the darkness and into the light of living, is Astarion’s voice.

The second thing she knows is his arms around her, clutching her body to his on the temple floor.

Cold tears splash down from above, land against the bridge of her nose with a pit- pit-.

As she opens her eyes to see him, something lashes in her. Tender and pitiable and strong. This third thing she knows.

~~~

this my is beloved durge!tav Elarin the Grey, shortly after ahem spoilers an important scene in which the companions realllllly should have stronger reactions. I imagine astarion would react something like this.

and yes astarion can cry in this headcanon/tiny drabble. his tears are icy cold.

[the-gateway-to-madness]

Not Everything Requires Magic- Gale x Fem!Tav

I can't believe BG3 has captured my brain enough for me to write fanfic blurbs but here we are, so-

Synopsis: Gale notices Tav, human cleric of Ilmater, weathering some discomfort, and realizes she's out of spells. With the help of one of his beloved books, he proceeds to assist her the old-fashioned way.

It was no secret that Gale of Waterdeep spent most of his free time with his head down, mind occupied by one book or another. There was very little else in his tent, actually- a messy bedroll, and a large pile of books, the latter being his favorite things on this or any other plane.

Time was, he'd have easily and even eagerly shrunk away from his traveling companions to attend to the very important matter of sticking his head back in a book. But since then there'd been a hand offered to him- a hand that had pulled him out of a malfunctioning magical stone, a hand that had offered him protection against shadow and steel, a hand that had remained open in welcome even after learning about the volatile Netherese magic in his chest.

He'd been truly, deeply, unbelievably grateful for such kindnesses. He'd even tried to return the favor the only way he knew how- through the Weave, his life, his self, guiding those hands that had been so gentle with him to channel a fragment of his world. It turned out to be a two-edged blade, however. Gale had found himself transfixed by the way the Weave curled around her battle-worn hands and fingers.

Whatever spell she'd trapped him in that night hadn't faded. Gale found his focus straying from his books and studies, often attempting to read her instead of them. He memorized the way her short hair moved in its little ponytail, knew instinctively the shape of the fluffy-looking tufts that fell in front of her ears. He knew they drove her crazy, too, the way she kept trying to tuck them back. Did she keep her hair even shorter when she wasn't on the road, so as not to irritate her? Gale wasn't sure, but he was sure that he never would have wondered anything like this about someone before her.

Now, he was once again pulled from his book by the sight of her across camp. He'd chosen a spot that he'd hoped would make her less distracting, but as nights passed here in Shar's shadow, he found himself regretting that choice. Every night he found himself studying Tav, every day trying to absorb as much of the sight of her as he could. He'd noticed faint gray streaking her hair, barely noticeable, but quite endearing to him, he found. He also found himself theorizing where and when she'd gotten the two thin scars on her face. No doubt sacrificing herself to protect some innocent, living up to the teachings of her god, Ilmater. She still did so- attempting to help them all with their problems and ignoring her own for their sake, to be strong enough, to lead them to victory.

Tonight, Gale noticed her trying to subtly rub and stretch her neck, and felt a spark of pity and concern for her. He knew Tav had run clean out of spells, healing everyone else after the fight that afternoon. She'd left nothing for herself, as usual when resources ran short. Luckily she wasn't injured, but she still deserved not to be in pain- even if it was just mild and muscular.

Gale frowned a bit, then rummaged through his books. He found one diagramming pressure points in the human body- one he'd often used to relieve the pain in his own legs and feet and back (only when Tav wasn't looking, of course, or she'd have healed him herself).

Tav looked up at him as he approached. "Hi," she said quietly, scooting over on her bedroll. "Care to sit?"

Gale smiled and took the invitation, grunting a bit. "Thank you," he said. "How are you holding up?"

She stiffened slightly, as she always did when anyone tried to check on her. "You know me. Ready for anything," she said, forcing some spunk into her tone, before wincing and pressing a hand to her shoulder. "Well. After a night's rest, anyway.

"Hm." Gale looked at her with concern, leaning forward a bit to try to read her face better.

Tav looked at him and sighed a bit. She knew that look on his face all too well. "It's really nothing to worry about, Gale, I swear. A little stiff here and there, that's all-"

Gale hummed softly again, then quietly said, "Turn with your back to me, please."

"There's no point in arguing with you, is there," Tav said dryly.

"Not in the slightest, my lady," Gale smirked, and he caught Tav suppressing a grin as she shifted to sit with her back to him.

Gale flipped open his book to a diagram of pressure points in the neck and shoulders, and began gently (but not so much so as to tickle her) feeling for ones that were carrying tension.

He found two or three and began working out the tightness in her muscles with his thumbs and knuckles. Tav was stiff at first, but slowly relaxed under his touch. She gave a shuddering sigh, shoulders slowly dropping as Gale took away all the signs of the weight on them.

Meanwhile, he found a strange ecstasy bubbling and bursting in his chest. What an unbearable delight it was to really help her- to finally remove even a small burden of hers, to repay everything she'd done. To make her sacrifices worth something... make it clear that to him, they were worth everything.

Gale didn't let up until he could both feel under his fingers and see the reduced tension in Tav's body language, whereupon she took a deep breath and let herself relax. He'd never seen her so- calm and strangely un-composed.

"Thank you," Tav said genuinely. "I hadn't even realized I had a headache."

Gale smiled, a pleasant warmth rousing in his chest. "Of course," he said. He glanced up as droplets of rain began to fall through the distant shadows above. "Come on." He closed his book and stood, offering her a hand.

"Where are we going?" Tav asked, letting him pull her to her feet.

"Well, you can't sleep out here, you'll catch cold," Gale pointed out reasonably, bending to roll up her bedroll and tucking it under his arm. "I won't lay a hand on you if you don't want me to, but you at least ought to stay in a tent tonight."

Tav restrained another smile- very poorly. "Such a gentleman. Alright, okay. If you can figure out how to rearrange all those books in your tent so we'll both fit."

Gale chuckled- once, such teasing would have made him defensive. With her, it only made him feel even more warmth. "You'll find there's not a man in Faerûn who can maximize the number of books in a space like me."

"I believe that," Tav chuckled with him. He adjusted her bedroll under his arm, and she gently took his book from him as they began to head for his tent. "Where'd you find this, anyway?"

"Truly and honestly? In that ruined village with all the goblins-"

"You did not."

"Are you really surprised I could find books anywhere?"

Tav laughed, genuinely laughed. "No, Gale. That doesn't surprise me in the slightest." She held up the tent flap for him, and he bowed in gratitude before crawling inside.

[faerievampling]

Miracle - Part 2

Summary: Astarion asks a pregnant Tav to marry him and settle down for a bit. Can be read as a stand alone story!

Word count: 2.1k

Pairing: Spawn!Astarion x F!Tav / Reader

Link to Part 1

Link to Ao3

My Masterlist

Warnings: 18+! Explicit! Astarion being a perv for pregnant Tav! Pregnancy kink. Breeding kink. PiV. Vaginal fingering. Cunnilingus. Body worship. Panty sniffing. Mention of body changes, symptoms of pregnancy.

A/N: Do y'all want more of these two? because I have more. I hope you enjoy!

You and your beloved continue to travel and work. Despite being expert adventures, you both had decided on taking low risk journeys and dealings. You were lucky to have found an enchanted ring long ago, one that allowed your vampire to walk in the sun, so there was no disruption to your living schedule.

Astarion insisted that you take it easy, and had even wanted you to stop traveling altogether, but he could only get you to acquiesce to directly participating in battles.

But you were starting to get rather big, and you weren’t so quick or nimble as you once were. The extra weight was daunting on you.

You are nearing the end of your pregnancy, now.

“Darling, you know I’m not one for…tradition, or convention, or any of that,” Astarion said one day as he massages your swollen hands. You were propped up in bed, your legs draped over Astarion's lap as he sat upright, working the fluids out with his strong digits. It was hard work, growing a baby, and strange things happened, like swollen hands. “But, I was reading something the other day…”

“Oh?”

“In one of my romance novels…you know the ones,” Astarion admits coyly, and you smile, nodding because he had shared this guilty pleasure with you before. “In one of them, the love interest wanted the mother of his child to share the same surname as their offspring. And he, the love interest, wanted to also share…this last name with them.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“What do you think of that?” Astarion inquires coquettishly, turning on an almost boyish, shy charm that makes your heart swoon.

“I think it’s romantic. The love interest wants his family united, and I think that’s lovely,” You say. “What do you think about it, Astarion?”

“I think I want that. With you.” Astarion turns your hand in his, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “I don’t care to do it traditionally, I just want you to be mine. I’ve already talked to Wyll.”

Astarion moves your legs off his lap onto the bed, moving for his things across your suite. The two of you were quite wealthy at this point, and had found a lovely little inn to stay in outside of Athkatla, the capital of Amn.

Astarion produces an envelope, pulling out the papers inside before handing them over to you. Astarion, not having the patience for you to actually look them over, tells you that it is the paperwork for an annulment of his death certificate, an official acknowledgement of the destruction of a previous marriage, and a marriage license –

“Wait a minute,” You stop him.

Astarion has an ‘I’ve been caught’ look on his face. “Ugh, I had hoped you’d just ignore that part I sandwiched in there.”

You knit your eyebrows together, shaking your head at him. “I’m no stranger to your ‘sandwich’ tactics, Astarion,” You quip back. “A previous marriage?”

“One that I have no memory of and was contractually destroyed upon my first death. Now that I’m legally alive again, and they are still alive, it’s just to acknowledge that marriage is no longer legitimate, so that our marriage is.”

“Oh,” You say, digesting these two things at once; Astarion had an ex-husband or wife, and he was asking you to marry him right now.

“I figured we could go back to Baldur’s Gate for a while, get Wyll’s stamp of approval, and there was that midwife Shadowheart suggested to us…” Astarion trailed off, his mind wandering at all the things there was to do. “You should probably get a check up. It's been a while, darling, and my 'inspections' of you are hardly medical in nature.”

You give him a gentle smack on the shoulder, prompting a handsome smirk from him before you narrow your eyes at him. You knew he was going to tell you that now was the time to settle down. You knew it was coming.

“Don’t look at me like that. Not after what I’ve just asked of you.” His rounded eyes look away from you, like he’s embarrassed.

You change your tune, realizing you’re being a jackass. You ease yourself out of bed, Astarion rushing to help you. You take his arm, and once on your feet, you place your hands on his chest, looking up at him as he looks away from your cleavage, meeting your gaze.

“Astarion, of course I’ll marry you,” You say with a smile, bringing him into a tender kiss. Astarion cups your cheek with one hand and a breast with another: he has become rather obsessed with them lately.

“I guess I’m just not ready for our grand adventure to end.” You explain, tears in your eyes as you think about all the change that’s to come.

Astarion cradles you closer. “My love, this is just the start of a new adventure. And let’s be reasonable, we both know you’re terribly uncomfortable with all the traveling. Don’t you want to just rest your tired, but very sexy body for the last part of your pregnancy, my darling?”

You couldn’t help but agree.

He’s being cheeky, trying to hide the tears that have welled up in his eyes. Astarion has never known family. He couldn’t fathom having a wife, nonetheless a pregnant one. But here he was, with the object of his desire in his arms.

“I love you so much, Tav. I just want you and our child to be safe.” Astarion says. “Baldur’s Gate is the safest place for us. All of our friends are there, we have ample protection and resources – don’t make me beg.”

You’re back in Baldur’s Gate before you know it.

———

The night you arrive, you and Astarion stay at Jaheira’s house; the two of you are utterly exhausted from your travels, and you collapse in bed.

Astarion watches as you lie on your side, trying to find a pillow to place beneath your large, aching belly. Realizing how little options you had, Astarion lies beside you, snaking his hand beneath your belly.

“Ah,” You say in relief, earning a smile from Astarion, who just wanted you to be comfortable. He had seen how hard your pregnancy had been.

“I guess it’s alright if you use my pillow, darling. I wouldn’t be opposed to staying just like this, though.” Astarion’s voice is light and gentle, the smoothness filing your ears in a pleasurable way. “We have a long day tomorrow. We’ll likely be at the courthouse all day…”

Astarion shivers at the thought, giving a dramatic sigh, making you laugh.

“Could you imagine going back to that? Being a magistrate? Spending all day in the courtroom settling legal disputes and passing ‘Astarion approved’ laws?” You smile over your shoulder at him; a perfect opportunity to steal a sweet kiss, Astarion plants one on your cheek as he chuckles.

“No, certainly not. I love being an adventurer with you.” Astarion places another kiss on you, this time to your neck. “But I may have to find something to do in the meantime while our little one is…well, little.”

“What do you have in mind?” You ask as you intertwine your fingers with his, the warmth in your chest nearly bringing tears to your eyes.

“I’ve got a few options. You know that Jaheira wants me to help her recruit more Harpers in the city, but that sounds like far more trouble than it’s worth. Maybe I’ll work in the city with Wyll, continuing to help with the various outreach programs he's implemented as Duke," Astarion explains as he listens to the beating of the hearts of both his child and his beloved.

He can tell once you've fallen asleep, but he keeps talking, because he can feel the fluttering in your stomach as his child responds to his voice.

It takes everything in him not to choke up.

---

The next day, you try look as beautiful and bridal as you can being so heavily pregnant. But today was the day you’d become an Ancunín, and you wanted to look nice.

“A pregnant bride is so very scandalous,” Astarion teased as he watched you dress. Your husband-to-be was a bit of a peeping tom.

Astarion picks up last nights panties you discarded on the floor.

“Tsk tsk. You can’t be so messy, my wife.” Astarion was testing the word on his tongue, bringing the fabric that absorbed your carnal scent to his nose, inhaling as he gazed at you devilishly.

You blush, rolling your eyes at him as you slip on a new pair, but Astarion stops you, beckoning you to him.

Astarion sits on the edge of your bed, bringing your body between his thighs as his pretty lips circle the tip of your breast, gently suckling your nipple as he flicks his tongue against you.

“So sensitive…” You moan, but you make no motion to move away, so Astarion doesn’t stop.

“Mmm,” He moans back, his hand moving from the curve of your belly to your slick mound, which was also increasingly sensitive as you got further in your pregnancy.

Astarion tenderly massages the folds of your cunt, easing a finger between your walls as he brings his thumb to caress your swollen clitoris, the very one that he was dreaming of devouring with his tongue after he gave your gorgeous breasts the proper attention they deserved, of course.

Astarion loved you like this. Swollen with his child, evidence of being filled to the brim with his come. His sensitive nose could smell your ‘baby’ hormones that made your skin glow, made your hair thick and shiny.

It made him ravenous. You were absolutely gorgeous to Astarion.

He couldn’t even believe it, really. It had been nearly seven months since the two of you found out, seven months of adventuring, of watching your body change, and it awakened something within him.

Although you often complained how swollen you felt, Astarion loved the way you looked: your nipples and labia puffy, clit engorged, your ringed muscle puckered, your stomach rounded and full.

Not to mention how desperate you were for him; you quivered under his every touch. You were just so responsive, so sensitive, like your every nerve was on fire for him; he couldn’t help but indulge you whenever possible. He just wanted to touch you, to watch you squirm, to look at your body and know that you, your womb, is his.

Astarion stands up and gently pushes your back against a wall as he moves to get on his knees, lifting a thigh up and to the side as he kisses down your inflated stomach.

Reaching up to take a breast in his hand, Astarion brings his mouth to your center, engaging your core with his lips. He brings your folds into his mouth, sucking and caressing your sex with his tongue.

He just wants to worship your body. He needs just a taste of you, of your depths, and he plunges his tongue between your folds, gathering your juices on his lips before focusing on that sensitive bundle of nerves at the top of your mound.

You’re delicious, beautiful and maternal, pliant in his hands as he reaches two fingers into your depths, reaching behind your clitoris to rub your spongey walls. His motions have you seeing white, causing your breasts to heave and bounce as your body clenches around his dexterous fingers.

He loves the way you drag your fingers through his hair; feeling your nails on his scalp sends shivers throughout his body.

Astarion pulls away as you come undone, watching as you writhe above him. Astarion is fully holding you up with his strong hands, making him feel like quite the family man at this moment, physically carrying both his bride and his child in his hands.

He still can’t believe this.

Astarion brings the both of you to the bed, stripping his clothes off as you get comfortable, maneuvering yourself for his entry.

Being so large, you couldn’t lie on your back anymore, and riding him was far too difficult, so you opted to bend yourself over, putting pillows beneath you in all the right places to ensure your comfort.

Astarion moans at the sight of you exposing yourself to him.

“Fucking yes, my love. You’re so beautiful, Tav.” Astarion grasps his wet cock. He’s dripping with so much pre-cum that he’s almost surprised, and he uses it to wet his member, which so desperately needs to be inside of you. "If I could just keep you like this forever..."

Astarion pulls back his foreskin with his thrusting motions, moving the skin up and down his shaft, groaning as he admires you.

Parting your folds with his finger and thumb, Astarion lines himself up with your entrance before enveloping himself into your warmth, earning a gasp from him at the sensation.

“Gods, you feel even tighter, Tav, with my child in you…” Astarion drifts off, the squelching and slapping of skin on skin making him entirely forget himself.

Astarion felt your waves of pleasure wash over you as you coiled around the base of his cock. With two fingers, Astarion massages that sweet button of yours, causing you to gush even harder around him, your orgasm evident in your entire being: you cried his name as you convulsed around him, giving him your milky come.

Astarion followed soon after, releasing his seed deep inside you as he spoke a love confession in your ear. Careful not to collapse on top of you, Astarion rolled over, giving you space to catch your breath.

Your muscles were already exhausted, fatigued from pregnancy and your spasming muscles. Astarion starts to mindlessly rub your back as you lay on your side, giggling as he draws you into his chest.

“Well, now I’ve got to fix myself,” You say, moving to stand before Astarion pulls you back into him.

“Maybe you should go just like this. Full belly, looking freshly fucked and used by your husband-to-be.” Astarion kisses your cheek, nuzzling his nose into your face as he does.

“Ha. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” You giggle as your beloved finally releases you. Once you’ve fixed your makeup and properly dressed yourselves, the two of you walk out into the streets of Baldur’s Gate, hand in hand.

A few hours later, you would be known as Tav Ancunín, and your stomach leapt with joy at the thought. It wouldn’t be long, now.

Masterlist

[drowsy-fantasy]

Drowsyfantasy’s Year In Review: Writing

Warning - all stories are NSFT unless otherwise indicated!

Starting the year off strong (only the bravest need apply), we have Ovamancy, a kink prompt by our beloved egg mutual, @thalwhore- with our gratitude - published in January. 

February brings A Cure for Nightmares, a gift fic with the Hero of Kvatch bringing a little comfort to Martin Septim. Yes, I do manage to get the name of the game into the body of the text. 

You can clearly see my March obsession with Vannimarco, with several fics being published in quick succession. Despite it being one of my only non-explicit fics, I really feel like Distraction is my favourite. @caliblorn is fully to blame. 

April brought the stand-alone Beach Episode of an ongoing story published on either side of it. Because every story needs a beach episode. Especially one with multiple possible gender options. 

Spring brings crack fic, and this May was no different. Narsis Dren and the Virile Vestige doesn’t have a lot of hits, but it brings a lot of laughs. 

This Is A Story I Once Heard didn’t begin publishing in June, but the latest chapter was published then (and I really have to go back and finish it, since I have the rest of the story already mapped out…) 

With a now-infamous post about swapped-roles AU of Mannimarco and Vanus as its inspiration, A Crownless King was published in July. Thanks, @mannimarcoiscool!

August was a busy month, with not only Elder Scrolls fic, but the first forays into Baldur’s Gate 3 with an alternate scene of the wildly popular Dark Urge character, Dirge. 

What followed in September was nothing short of an obsession. Several more BG3 fics in a wide variety of prompts, the most popular - and strangest - serving to be Acts of Worship, involving the player-character Tav and a 9-foot tall spider. If you know, you know.

October was the final month for publishing in 2023 (barring a sudden desperate need to write in the next week) with the surprise hit Something Close to Steel, starring fan-favourite character Dammon opposite the reader (Tav once more). This one I am DEFINITELY finishing soon - I swear!

Edit: As a bonus series, I'd like to recommend the work @orfeoarte and I did together on TES Summerfest 23. We worked really hard on these, and each chapter has fantastic art he drew and posted on his tumblr!

Some neat statistics, all added in 2023: 

84 subscriptions 

42,377 words

12,580 hits

180 bookmarks

37 comment threads

1,015 kudos

77 user subscriptions 

Thank you all for a thoroughly awesome 2023 and I’ll see you next year!

[spacebarbarianweird]

The Rogue and The Barbarian

Summary: Six months after the game, Astarions asks Tiriel why she's stayed with him.

Pairing: Astarion x OC (Tiriel)

Tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, post-game, patch 5 epilogue, named Tav, established relationship, f!tav

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This line from the epilogue really got me so I decided to write the confession scene featuring my beloved OC Tav named Tiriel.

One night he tells you that these six months of happy memories are the counterweight to two hundred years of misery.

Thanks @satanicspinosaurus for the amazing work as a beta-reader. Your comments and suggestions were super helpful.

Tiriel is a half-elf Barbarian with Chaotic Good allignment. More about her here

Steam rises over a small pond at the back of the cave, and it almost looks as good as a hot bath in the inn. The warm spring nicely heats the air, contrasting to the cold nights Astarion and Tiriel have faced for the last few months. 

Six months, to be precise.

Astarion cautiously approaches the pond. The murky surface can’t reflect anyone, and the vampire touches the water. 

"Go on, I'll join you!" Tiriel says, and her voice echoes in the cave.

"Don't make me wait too long, then," he answers.

Six months ago, the tadpole which allowed him to walk in the sun dissapeared. Six months ago, the insane adventure he had found himself in was over. Six months ago, he murdered the monster who had made him a vampire. 

Six months ago, he became free. 

Astarion undresses, laying his clothes beside the pool. The clothes are dirty with blood, and so is he.

Being naked feels weird and uneasy. The sense of vulnerability returns as he sits at the pond's edge, submerging his legs in warm water. 

It would be naïve to believe his demons and darkness would disappear after the monster's death. That the gnawing void in his chest would somehow miraculously heal in one day. His darkness lingers in his mind daily, devouring thoughts and sanity. The only thing he can do is fight. 

Astarion takes a piece of cloth and starts washing dirt off his skin. If only it was possible to wash away all the non-consensual touches he'd endured over years. To forget, to peel it off. 

If only…

A soft thump takes Astarion out of his thoughts, and he sees a pile of clothes getting bigger – adding Tiriel's trousers and shirt under her armor. 

Tiriel stays at the edge beside him for a heartbeat and then jumps into the water, splashing Astarion with a warm wave. 

"Finally!" the half-elf says, returning to the surface and sitting at the pond's edge. 

Astarion can't take his eyes away from Tiriel. Hair, red as fire. Her right eye is greyish blue, like the autumn sky. The other used to be green as spring before the hag had transformed it. 

Freckles dance all over her body, especially plenty on her back. Half-elven ears with a thin scar on one of them. Breasts, small and perky. A bigger bottom. "Elven tits but human butt!" she once told him after receiving yet another playful slap from him. Hands so elegant and feminine, elven-like. Legs more human-like, thick, and strong. 

She is stuck between two worlds and takes the best from both. 

Tiriel the Barbarian is a woman of no kin and no home. 

"Need help?" she asks.

"I am pretty capable of washing myself."

"I know, but do you need help?"

"Yes, please."

Tyrael smiles and kneels behind him with a piece of rag.

"Tell me if it hurts".

He nods. Somehow, being both naked doesn't have anything sexual. It is something else, some new level of intimacy. Tiriel lovingly washes his body, and her touches are gentle and caring. Occasionally, she plants a kiss, and a shiver goes down his spine.

Astarion relaxes, closing his eyes like a content cat. His world reduces to the sound of dripping water and Tiriel's humming.

The song sounds unfamiliar. Sometimes, Astarion thinks he's already heard all the songs and ballads Tiriel knows. Still, every other evening, she chooses another. Sometimes, he thinks she composes them, but she laughs at the suggestion.

Astarion, my heart, do I look like a bard to you? It's just how humans tell their stories.

Astarion concentrates on Tiriel's voice and her gentle caress. She starts washing his hair, massaging the scalp with long, stiff fingers.

"I never heard this song."

“It’s a ballad of half-elves. A human woman falls in love with an elf. She offers him gifts – a heavy sword made of iron, sleeping potions to make him dream, a fur cape to warm him in the coldest winter, a stallion fast as the wind. And he just mocks her. Because human lives are short and their ways are animalistic. But it seems the mocking is dishonest, since half-elves are born anyway."

Astarion catches her arm and presses lips against Tiriel's wrist. She giggles and nuzzles his neck.

"Which would you take if someone offered you such gifts?"

"Difficult choice," Astarion chuckles. "I don't think I could pick up the sword; horses fear me. The cape sounds nice."

"The cape enchanted with fire magic - that has its own warmth," Tiriel sings.

"Then definitely the cape."

She laughs. "I would have taken the sword."

"Who would ever doubt that, my ferocious love?"

Tiriel hugs Astarion from behind, placing her cheek on the upper part of his scars. Her grip is tight, as if she tries not to let him fall. 

Astarion places a palm over her hands. Tiriel is so warm. He doesn't want to let her go. If, a mere year ago, someone told him that this would be his life very soon enough-he would bitterly laugh at their faces.

Freedom? A monster dying a painful death? Tiriel? Those things were unreal. 

Tiriel finally lets him go and returns to washing herself. 

"Tiriel"

She looks up at him. Her eyes were so close he could see the green iris behind the foggy hag eye.

"What is it?"

"Why do you stay?"

She pulls back a bit.

"What do you mean?"

"I – I don't understand why you are with me. You could choose any man but chose me. Why?"

Tiriel is silent and Astarion fears he has hurt her. There is an instinct to apologize, to beg for forgiveness. He shouldn’t have asked. 

She sighs. "Apart from the fact you are the most beautiful and handsome man I ever met in my life?"

"Six months ago, I would have thought that was enough."

Tiriel takes his hand. "Look at me, please." 

Her smile shines like the summer sun. "You want to know why I am with you? Because you sometimes think that I am with you either for pity or just because of your looks?"

He nods. 

"I love you for being brave. For being strong. All these decades of torments and you preserved yourself. You survived where madness was the only choice. You never allowed to break yourself. What can be more heroic? Every day you fight the darkness in your soul – and win. It is an invisible fight but, gods, it's more formidable than fighting dragons and monsters. I can see it. I see it daily, and I admire you for that. Because accepting darkness is easy."

She touches a loose strand of silver hair and kisses his cheek. "I love you for being so smart and good with words. I can't even read – and you know so many things I didn't even know existed! You open a new world for me, every day!"

"You know I can teach you how to read?"

"My eyes hurt when these letters jump on the page."

"Unless the book is enchanted, they are not supposed to."

Tiriel cups his cheek and plants a kiss on his forehead.

"You care about me. You protect me. No one ever did! I am this wild warrior girl who can kill a giant with one swift of her sword. Who can be beaten to death and then stands up with bones broken and wounds bleeding and shrugs it all away. No matter how in pain I was, no one ever asked me how I felt. No one cared. Do you know why people like me drink ale all the time, especially celebrating victories? Because we're in pain. But we can't show it, it's a weakness. And we can't be weak."

Tiriel suddenly turns her eyes away, and Astarion sees a glimpse of pain as if she re-lives those moments. He pictures a wounded woman who drinks herself to numbness while people cheer her for slaying a monster. Then a bleeding half-elf curled up in the tent, hollow and miserable. 

"But you – you care. When I don't rage anymore, when I feel the pain and exhaustion again, I don't have to think how to get back to camp and make sure my companions don't steal my part of the loot. I can just fall into your arms and let you take care of the rest. Washing me, helping to undress. You help me with my flesh wounds and broken bones. You wait till I recover – and don't let me risk myself."

"It would be cruel to let you return to the fight with internal bleeding."

"Aastarion, that's the point. I've never had anyone who would do that to me. I never knew I could sleep so worriless. My heart, you are safety. You are protection. You let me hide behind your back. No one ever did. Because if someone with a two-handed sword joins your party, she is supposed to protect you. Sometimes I would vomit blood after the fight and people would surround a delicate looking maiden-sorceress who was just shocked by seeing so much blood and gore. I was always the last one to get the potion or healing. I am Tiriel the Barbarian, after all. No one would check up on me, no one would look after me. But you – you do that. Astarion, you can't even apprehend how much love there is inside you. And how much I need it."

Astarion finally makes himself move and pulls Tiriel closer. She wraps her hands around his neck. 

"You remind me of a fairytale I loved as a girl. When I was beaten by my mother and when my stepfather called me a "fairy bastard," I would run to the village healer and listen to his wife telling fairy tales. There was one which always caught my attention.”

"A long time ago there was a warrior woman whose ancestors were giants. She was fierce and strong. One day she got a mission – to kill a monster. She realized the monster was indeed an enchanted prince. She broke his chains and they married. I always pictured this prince as an elf in my head. Like, he was described as someone very beautiful. It couldn't be a human! Human males are ugly. Or maybe it was my own desperate hope my elven father would come back and take me with him".

"And what is more important, you understand me. You laugh at my stupid jokes. You know how to make me feel better. I love talking to you. I never thought I would find someone I would be so comfortable with. Yes, I fell for your looks. For your sweet words. You made me feel wanted, desired. Everything I thought I wasn't. I knew you were manipulating me; it was easy to understand. But I felt good when you dragged me to the woods. I am going to live for fifteen or twenty decades more and I want to live these years with you. I don't want and don't need anyone else." 

Astarion stares at Tiriel as if seeing her for the first time. As if they hadn't shared a bed for half a year. It was like she was talking about someone else. Someone he doesn't even know. How come… how come he has her? What a weird coincidence made them meet? Maybe some god was responsible after all. Heard his prayers and made that unknown elf hook up with a married human woman thirty-six years ago. 

A married human woman who hated the little girl she gave birth to. Who abused Tiriel and beat her for her mere existence. 

"My stepfather once lusted for me and he suppressed his desires with violence. He snatched a knife and cut my left ear off. The healer stitched it back but I have a scar left."

The girl grew up. Survived. Made her way to Baldur's Gate.

Tiriel, with her absolute lack of self-control or respect for anyone, solved most of the problems threatening to break people's bones.

"He told you "No!", I will smash your head against the wall if you don't leave him alone, you drow bitch!"

His very own knight in shining armor. Well, barbarian rags rather than actual armor, but Astarion is also far from an innocent prince. 

Tiriel puts her head on his chest as if trying to hear his undead heart. They both don't move, holding each other in silence. Astarion wants to say a thousand words. How much he loves her. How she makes his undead heart ache. How he adores her – with her dark humor, easygoing nature, and bravery.

But he can't. The words are stuck in his throat; meanwhile, Tiriel keeps humming. A song of the north, of the wilderness. There is wind and cold, battles and blood. The smell of burning wood. The rage. The sorrow. And dragons. 

Tiriel, the unwanted daughter of the barbarian kin, holds Astarion, and he drowns in her arms. Safety, protection, freedom, love. Such simple concepts and yet so unknown.

He doesn't want to let her go. He won't let her go unless she wants.

"Ok I am freezing and want to sleep. I will be in the tent," She pulls away, shivering. "How do you say "my love" in Sylvan?"

"Salen Aster," Astarion answers, and the words sound like a spell.

"Then see you later, Salen Aester."

He chuckles – Tiriel pronounces the words clumsily with a terrible Common accent. 

"Have a good rest, my love."

Being alone is uncomfortable. So he quickly puts on clean clothes, leaving the dirty pile for the latter, and returns to the small camp they had put up. Tiriel is already under the fur blanket but knows she hasn't fallen asleep yet. She never goes to sleep without him. So while she rests, Astarion stays beside guarding her or meditating himself.

Astarion crawls beside her, and she immediately wraps herself around him, placing her redhead on his chest, sharing body warmth.

Astarion concentrates on the heartbeat. He can feel blood streaming around her body. Her short breaths. Tiriel is so alive it's enough for two of them. 

"Tiriel"

"Hm?" she looks up at him, her eyes already sleepy.

"These six months we've been together are the counterweight to two hundred years of misery I endured. My worst memory lasted longer than I know you but somehow… somehow it holds the same gravity as those years of darkness. I don't even know how this is possible."

She smiles and caresses his cheek.

"Rage is louder than tears, fire is brighter than shadows. Rags are cheap but fur is paid with gold."

It seems like she wants to say something else, but she falls asleep in his arms. Astarion looks at her with adoration, trying to memorize every small detail of her face.

"Salen Aester", he whispers in her ear. 

--

Tag List

@tragedybunny @caitlincat-95 @tallymonster @astarionsbeloved @lumienyx @fayeriess @elora-the-slutty-songstress @veillsar @astarion-imagine-archive @micropoe10 @starlight-ipomoea @herstxrgirl @theearthsfinalconfession @ashrio20 @not-so-lost-after-all @vixstarria @wintersire @marcynomercy

[moramaisis]

Characters: Ascended Astarion, my tav Arsenia (tiefling)

Pairing: m/f

Keywords and warnings: villain couple, lip biting, kissing, lip bite play, dom tav, romantic, dark romance, mentions of torture at the beginning.

May be minor spoilers to Cazador's scene.

Ao3

Edit: I reworked it some more. Hopefully it's better.

----------

It has been a long night down at the underground levels of Cazador's palace. A long and difficult night, but i endured. I enjoyed setting all those hulking beasts on fire, hearing their whimpers as their scorched fur filled the air with nauseating stench.

Ever since my lover told me about his life in the Szarr palace, the torture and humiliation he endured, i have been seething. Silently and keeping my heart a locked stronghold. Spending time with our adventure party and cracking jokes with them made me forget. Just for a short while. Sometimes i even cracked some risky ones to my beloved, i enjoy teasing him, but made sure to never go too far.

Tonight, however, when all of us were covered in blood and gore, the master of the night hid in his coffin like a true coward. I was expecting more, something grand, but all i wanted was to see Astarion ripping him apart.

There he was, my lover, tearing open the coffin and throwing the man- who will soon cease to be - on the floor.

Cazador mumbled his threats, as expected, and then Astartion asked for my help. The look in his eyes is something i'll never forget.

I didn't even hesitate, he was already cursed and once you're barely human you start looking at things differently.

This ritual could make him a sun-walker end make his life come full circle. From the bottom to the top. I, Arsenia, grew up in the wilderness, learned to hunt as a tiny girl with nubs on my forehead. Learned to trap monsters, cook, make clothing, defend myself and my family. I know the laws of nature well, they're often unmerciful and unfair, best you can hope is a quick death.

I linked our tadpoles and let him see the scars. Standing in the background, i inched closer to enjoy the scene. Astarion ripped Cazador's clothing off and exposed a pale lean muscular body, adorned with bruises and cuts. When Astarion stabbed his dagger into Cazador's back, he uttered a bleak cry of pain. That very second a wave of arousal caressed my loins. Throbbing after each delightful scream. It was joyful hearing the screams of the man who was going to kill my lover and gods know how many more people after that. I never expected to get such a physical reaction, but it wasn't unwelcome.

Shadowheart yelled something in the back, how dangerous the ritual was or that we should stop. Honestly, i was fully in the moment, feasting my eyes on every cut and turn of the blade. On every scream... and yelp and tremor.

I've seen Astarion's scar so many times that i can see it with my eyes closed. There's something beautiful in it. Then again, the skin of your lover makes everything beautiful.

Once the ritual was over, he seemed different, slightly distracted. I asked him if all was well and he said that the world seems to move at a faster speed. He said that he felt how all the lowly creatures wanted to serve. I had an odd feeling then, down in my chest. He looked at me with those eyes that could coax me into anything and said he could hear that in me too. My quickened pulse. How i'm waiting for a command. That clever little bastard knows what he's doing, i felt the urge to grab his waist and squeeze it tightly against my body. I wanted to crush him in my arms. Rip his lips off his face with a single lustful kiss.

I'm a tiefling with draconic ancestry, my blood is fire and my instincts murmur inside my veins like songbirds, i'm a good head taller than Astarion, life in the wild has made me muscular and strong. Astarion never called me a monster, unlike some people in the cities and villages i have travelled through. I accepted him as he was. Sure, he was a great companion, silver tongue, not bad-looking either, but his skills with the blade and bloodthirst conquered me. Out in the wild i was forced to use my blade more than once, use my magic to both hunt and burn faces of thieves.

I knew ascension would change some part of him, but i hoped, blindly like all lovers, that no great harm would be done. I wanted my lover to meet his full potential - he seemed to hunger for the ritual too – so i gladly lent a helping hand. So, the circle was complete, the predator ate the weakling creature, what's next?

Astarion stepped closer and asked me about immortal life. He said he wants me in his future, as his consort, and i said yes. I'm growing weary of hiking from town to village to town, always the same, hunting, working as a blade for hire, moving again. My parents were killed in the outlands. Their graves are growing moss and lichen. The more i see in my travels, the less i want to settle down. Humans are such evil bastards. So many unspeakable things have my eyes gazed upon.

This adventure gave me a family… a lover. Astario, he's speaking of taking over Baldur's Gate and it might just be the piss of 7000 souls in his head…but…if he's serious, i can't say that i want to stop him. Ever since we entered the city all i saw was prejudice, cruelty, rudeness, corruption. I bet my left horn we would to a better job as rulers. Me and Astarion.

"Can i kiss you?" i asked and he smiled, pointing to the ground. He expected me to kneel, but i'm not into that kind of play. At least when not in the right mood.

I straightened my shoulders and snatched Astarion into my arms, holding him like some groom would hold his shy wife. He looked so beautiful in my arms, in his new fancy silks, and that little expression of surprise suited him very well. That tiny surprise morphed into a heavy-lidded grin.

"I forgot, you never liked taking orders."

"That's what you get for making the most stubborn tiefling your spawn."

I press my lips against his and our kiss is passionate and sloppy. Our tongues are engaged in a dominance battle. Then i feel a sting in my lip and notice a crimson fluid smearing on Astarion's cheek. I stare at him quietly, as he gazes back, eyes half-closed and inquisitive.

I run the tip of my tongue across my lower lip and find a spot where the salty taste intensifies. I lick the wound slowly, under Astarion's unmoving stare. The crimson tastes intoxicatingly sweet, i lick the wound once more, spread the crimson nectar onto my upper lip and go into another deep, yet needy kiss. Astarion grabs my face and sucks on my wound greedily. I enjoy his animalistic passion, it's not too different from my own. I give him a minute and then his soft gorgeous upper lip is between my teeth, and i bite. I take over his mouth and relish every salt-flavored kiss he gives me. He mumbles in delight and his hand on my neck clenches, pulling me closer. Lust is written all over our grimy little bloodstained faces.

[eirwensbook]

JUST A LITTLE GAME

I was just thinking that I've seen very few works in which Tav is a man, that's why we're here. I suppose this is only one part of the few, so... 1/?. I also want to say that English is not my native language, so if you notice any mistakes, please tell me about them!

Warnings: Fighter!Tav, soft on his own way!Astarion, suicidal thoughts, mentions of disordered eating, selfharm.

This day was really crazy. Tav and his companions survived an attack by a horde of evil goblins, during which he was hit on the head. He also broke his beloved bow, lost the ring carefully stolen by Astarion, accidentally bumped an elf woman with his shoulder and she dropped a fruit basket because of this. And now, barely standing on his feet, Tav was chopping wood for a fire and listening to Gale's next whining.

Tav didn't really listen to his friend's words, concentrating on the axe and the log. His strong pale hand wrapped around the wooden handle of the axe, skillfully and deftly cutting large logs in half. It was clearly not the first or even the tenth time he had done this. Gale didn't seem to care that his leader wasn't listening to him at all. He just needed to talk it out, to get the burden of emotions off his shoulders. And Tav was perfect for that.

Tav was perfect for everything, actually. He will protect, if necessary, warm up, offer a strong shoulder and a handkerchief to wipe away tears, comfortingly pat on the back, give good advice, lull, play the role of a cook, healer, hunter. And, what is most remarkable, he will not ask for anything in return.

Astarion was sitting near his tent, reading another book about herbs and their properties, occasionally looking up and watching Tav. There was really something to look at: a tall, strong half-elf with an excellent muscular body was concentrating on chopping firewood. His movements were precise, and his face was serious and thoughtful. Tav never had his head in the clouds, however, he always thought about practical things like the safety of his companions, for whom he was responsible, about their health and well-being. Astarion, to put it mildly, was mesmerized... it was just beautiful - Tav, this strong man, was beautiful. And it was nice to watch, that's all.

Astarion's gaze shifted to Gale. He couldn't hear what he was talking about, but it was clear from his facial expressions, gestures and active articulation that he was complaining to Tav again. Astarion chuckled, gently touching the image of herbs on an old battered book page. Gale could really be annoying sometimes... but Tav didn't complain, so it's okay, right?

Soon, when the firewood was chopped, Gale's problems were listened to, the fire was lit, and all the companions were sitting around firecamp cooking dinner, Tav, smiling delicately and apologizing, left towards the lake under the pretext of feeling unwell. The man's face became darker with every step that brought him closer to the pond. The body, which was not wearing armor, felt uncomfortably light and as if naked. No security, no safety, no imaginary support... right now he doesn't have a shell at all.

Tav sat down on the ground by the lake, pulling his sharp dagger from his belt. He had such a game - he had to throw a dagger and catch it by the blade, trying not to hurt his fingers at the same time. However, the problem was that it was impossible not to hurt his fingers — Tav always sharpened his dagger so much that he could easily cut a sheet of paper from one of these endless books of Astarion. "This is how I hone my mastery of edged weapons," the man justified himself, inside perfectly aware of what kind of tendencies this is.

His calloused, scarred fingers began to play with a dangerous toy, the gaze of his gray lifeless eyes stared into the slightly trembling water of the lake. Tav's head was stupidly loud. The demons of the past were literally screaming, sending impulses into his tortured mind. The man thought about how wonderful it would be to be in silence, where no one would bother him. Where there are no people getting into trouble, where there are no companions who, like blind kittens, mindlessly follow him, where there is no pain, cold and hunger. Tav thought about what would happen if he took this blade and cut his throat. Or what would happen if he undressed, entered the icy lake water and drowned himself there to hell.

Astarion will be worried, that's what will happen. That was the only reason Tav didn't finish... all of this. This man, full of sarcasm, mock selfishness and constant little giggles, was his moonlight in the dark. He wanted to save his life at least in order to hear this rare sincere laugh again and again, to see this even rarer smile. Not a smirk, but a smile. He wanted to hug him and not let go, he wanted to bury his nose in white curls, he wanted... Gods, he just wanted special someone next to him, next to someone with whom he could be a little more vulnerable. Next to someone with whom he could unclench his jaw and exhale. Next to someone with whom he could just be himself. Not a famous fighter, not a fearless leader, not a skilled hunter, but just… Tav. Who loves hugs, the smell of pomegranate and coolness. Who loves Astarion.

Quiet, cat-like footsteps were knocked out of Tav's thoughts. With careful tread, someone was coming closer and closer. Someone was standing right behind Tav, not daring to move. Someone with a quiet sigh still sat down next to Tav, carefully removing a dagger from his bloody hand. Someone wiped the blood off with the sleeve of his new silk blouse, which fit him just perfectly.

Astarion.

"How many times have I asked you not to do this to yourself!", Astarion sounded annoyed, but worried. His voice was not even and sometimes moved to high notes. "Darling, talk to me. Please", the last word was uttered so softly that it could be compared to the sound of the leaves of the trees in the forest in which they were.

Tav couldn't answer. He couldn't explain why he was doing everything he did. He couldn't explain why thoughts of death were ringing in his head like a tocsin. He couldn't explain why he was half-intentionally harming himself. He couldn’t explain why he systematically avoided meals, writhing from hunger pain — such a familiar feeling since childhood. He also couldn’t explain why now his iron impenetrable nature craved ordinary human affection and care. And maybe a kiss on the temple. Only if he's lucky enough.

Tav covered his face with his hands. His shoulders tensed and his lips tightened into a thin line. He tried to hold back the shameful, in his opinion, tears.

"I don't know...", the man muttered on the verge of hearing. "I just… I want to disappear, you know?".

Astarion knew. He knew too damn well. He didn't think for a second. Astarion crawled a little absurdly on his knees to Tav, pressing his big body to his own. The man's hot cheek touched the cool silk fabric of another man's blouse.

"Cry. Let it out", there was no usual sarcasm or mockery in Astarion's voice. Only sincere concern. And something else. Something so unusually warm. "You told Gale yourself that it's okay to cry."

Tav shook his head, gently stroking the fabric of his blouse. Damn pragmatist.

"I can't", Tav's voice was firm and didn't require any objections. "It’s okay for others. Not for me."

Astarion pressed the shaking man closer to him, slightly pulling a lock of his long curly hair. "Damn you...", his voice was full of despair. He knew it was more than useless to argue. Therefore, all that remained for Astarion was just to hold this obstinate man in his hands and rock him imperceptibly for him.

Astarion sincerely wanted Tav to break down. To grab his expensive blouse so furiously that he tore off a piece of it. To burst into tears, sobbing ugly, so that tears would flow in waterfalls down his beautiful and eternally frighteningly calm face. Maybe it's bad, but Astarion really wanted it. After all, it gets easier after that. He knows that it gets easier after that.

But now all Astarion had to do was just hold this obstinate man in his hands and rock him imperceptibly for him.

The moon was full that night. It shone on two broken men who found comfort in each other. They clung to each other as tightly as a drowning man grabs a cherished lifeline. The cool night wind blew Tav's long curls. And lips as cool as the wind touched a noticeable vein on his sweat-soaked temple.