#stuff and etc and yea :( :) <3 reminds me of Back then i think in the pandemic

[astrxealis]

we ball 👍

[posebean]

fantasys your alkaloid‼️ ‼️ ‼️ ‼️ ‼️ ‼️ ‼️  ref sheet of alkaloid for my alkakurei fantasy au that i totally didnt abandon crazy:B here (notes abt world+magic system and other stuff on that post)

stuff abt their outfits and etc under read more

hiiro is fresh from his village baby boy left to go find his nii-san with only his clothes and a trusty satchel at his side- he just goes around looking for his nii-san and etcetc idk how long the gap is but he finds tatsumi and mayo and stays with them for some time and during that time tatsun gets him a coat because baby boy literally only has those and hes just been doing work for some guild (idk how to explain bc guilds require education but i guess tatsun pulled strings for him) so he has money to live while also looking for his nii-san and sometimes he has to go to cold places and one time he comes home after a job in a cold place and hes sick and tatsun is like hiiro-san please take this jacket with you :..) so now hiiro has a coat custom-made for him :3! he's good with elemental magic (the 5 core elements water wind fire earth plant) very versatile and a skilled little guy (not as talented as his nii-san but no one is as talented as nii-san!) anyways yadda yadda he gets a message or smth and is preparing to leave tatsun and mayo but (spoilers for meru fic) meru points him towards the town where everyone else is and yea he goes and finds his nii-san and now his goal has changed from find nii-san to convince nii-san to go back home but he befriends everyone else too and i think they do eventually go on some kind of adventure together maybe more the three younger ppl aira hiiro and kohaku

aira is a little silly fellow he dresses nicely (very inspired by fs2 but i cant stop looking at it and thinking damn he french colored......) and loves magic so much he admires all the grand mages and everyone in the upper echelons and loves watching other people cast spells and such unfortunately for him while he has a decently high innate talent, his control is God Awful which results in magic never going well for him- with no control at all, literally negative control, he can try to cast one spell and something completely different will be cast instead- and the skill level varies too it's literally just a roll of a dice for him if he tries to cast a simple flame spell he might end up flooding the room with a wall of water, it's that bad kkshfkj also he acts like he doesn't like it but he actually loves rabuhan-junior so much he secretly spoils the hamster named after him and rabuhan junior loves him back rabuhan-junior likes to sleep in his hat or on aira's head whenever kohaku goes out and leaves rabu-han junior with aira tatsun has very normal clothes bro dresses like a dad (did you know both of his fs have the same color palettes i didnt but using them as reference made me realize, anyways-) his clothes are very comfortable and easy to move around in, especially given his injury from [spoiler event here ]. he also has a cane and his injured leg has pain suppressor sigils and bandages wrapped all over it his leg isn't completely unusable like its not broken or anything its more like. a kind of necrosis like if you unwrapped it there would be a dark mark thats like icky and sometimes it flares up and hurts tatsun so much that he falls over and :( he found the cane one day in the catacomb (wonder who put it there) he added the begonia himself as a reminder of his sin... shiro is his little mouse familiar that he conjured with the help of kaname! she's a sweet little thing, often found sleeping on an open book on tatsumi's desk. she has the tatsumi-colored ears and legs because she was conjured up rather than a pact familiar. regarding magic tatsun is pretty average on both control and power, but that doesnt really matter because most of the spells he uses are passive spells more used for healing/doing work. he likes to garden and has a beautiful garden of all kinds of flowers at the chapel :) he just doesn't dare touch the flowers in the catacomb, because he knows someone else already takes care of those also that purple gem hanging around his neck is a gift from mayomayo it doesn't do anything and has no magic but tatsun still likes it :) mayomayo dresses in all dark colors because he believes that if he always dresses in dark colors no one will ever have to be bothered by seeing his existence he comes from a lineage that practices forbidden magic, not necessarily all dark but some of the more ... interesting spells . something happens in his past and he ends up leaving, taking with him his tome and well. proceeding to get chased by all kinds of monsters out in the wild because for some reason he just attracts all kinds of beasts poor guy magic-wise he does have the forbidden magic from his family but he more specializes in healing and curse removal- he doesn't dare do anything else for fear of (redacted). besides, maybe he'll one day be able to actually save somebody instead of hurting them, maybe his existence would be worth it some day. the ribbon in his hair (the green/teal one) is from tatsun :) he said mayo would look good in brighter colors and mayo disagreed so tatsun gave it to him and now its become part of his outfit and (i combust into a thousand bits ) also because of that mayo feels like he has to give tatsun something back so thats why he gives tatsumi a purple gem he had that used to hang from his spell tome anyways i still love this au very much and i hope you enjoyed now i will proceed to forget about it again /j i still really wanna write kohaku's fic and then maybe one last one for rinne-kun or smth because aghghj there's still so much that's not developed yet but (explodes)

[another-dra-anew]

tomoritomoritomroitomo- -iris

tototototomori!

-My identity hc for them

canonically sapphic! i think that. currently she’s just waiting to see what experiences she has and where life takes her, she doesn’t want to try and come to a decision on how she feels about non-platonic relationships with guys. she’s content with calling herself sapphic, maybe she’ll change her label one day, maybe not <3. 

+canonically a trans girl! i think she kinda switched between using trans fem and saying she’s a trans girl. depends on the day depends on the vibe!!! not really a identity note this is about presentation. but i think sheeee’s… not really happy with her hair length rn and is considering chopping it short, but she wants to grow it out, and knows if she chops it now she’ll have to deal with growing it again. she’d be happy with short hair, but then she’d miss having long hair. tbh i can see her growing her hair out to donate? but yeah. she doesn’t like the growing out stage v much

- Thoughts on their home life/family

hmm. what’s something that doesn’t get covered in ftes… i think she really likes her maternal grandparents and would like to see them more, but she knows spontaneous visits aren’t really something that either her household, or theirs, can really pull off. she’d call more but she feels weird doing that without much reason.

- How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

!! i like how i write her! i think… any concerns i have are moreso with like. how my writing of her comes across? but that’s another thing where i just have to step back and remind myself that anyone who judges the way the kids are shown now, when we’re only partway through the story, and no one’s ftes are finished, is silly, and that includes me. it’d be silly of me to judge my writing when i haven’t even been able to show all the parts of the kids characterization!

- The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

tomoris my perfect wish fulfillment girl i suppose? i dunno i guess everything i want to say about her gets said…. uhhh? yk everything i’m thinking of is like. smthn that gets mentioned at some point. hm. 

- My number one favorite ship for them

i like her and maki, iii. honestly just like them a lot as friends? and im a huge fan of friends to lovers so. yeah!!! :]. this doesn’t always come across in canon tho ik. not that they ever come across as like. enemies but maki is vv closed off in the game, so. yea. non despair tho, they get along well!

- …Now everyone else i ship with them

she has a lot of hands! i like her and kurokawa a lot tho <3. i don’t think tomoris a huge fan of spooky stuff but tbh i think kurokawas videos and the like would be very comforting? and i think kurokawa is a lil >////< @ tomori. goes from thinking tomoris pretty -> really liking her personality and how she interacts with people (while thinking tomori is pretty). 

- The thing i will NEVER ship

…? i can’t think of anything anyone would ship which i’d be against? ???

- a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

id like to chat more about her and iranami! specifically in non despair. i think she’d like to try and tug iranami into helping her with cheer practice so iranami can kinda. recontextualize her flexibility/tumbling skills.

- thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

i don’t want to talk about it. (<- i need to redesign her. so bad. but i keep redesigning her…)…… go away now please i need to cry.

- A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

OKAY SHE HAS A PLAYLIST. ITS OUTDATED BUT IT EXISTS- oh. mekaru had one too. uh. anyways.

all the songs are more so ones that i think she’d vibe too? hmmm. yk fuck it. have a screenshot of her playlist pls keep in mind most of these r from like… 2020. songs i think she’d vibe to!

[mjparkerwriting]

10 Songs, 10 People

Thanks @squarebracket-trick and @mjjune for tagging me!

Rules: Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs that come up. Describe how they relate to your WIP and/or worldbuilding.

GHOST RIDE by BLK ODYSSY

This song has a creepy hypnotizing sound and makes me think about the male lead, Seth. He tries to be mysterious and is a bit closed off, but behind that facade is just scared and insecure.

2. aqui yo mando by Kali Uchis, Rico Nasty

This song and the next on the list are all I think of when writing one particular character. She's a wild card and this song captures that energy.

3. Never Recover by Lil Baby, Gunna, Drake

Same as number two. If I made a playlist just for this one character, #2 and #3 would be on it.

4. Holding Back the Years by Simply Red

It's a pretty sad song and I have a lot of sad characters that just keep suffering.

5. Like a Tattoo by Sade

This just feels like a song one of the main characters, Zayna, would listen to. I feel like she'd be a huge Sade fan.

6. Gold Medal Ribbon by Pierce the Veil

One of the characters, Avram, is just...yea. He's going through it and he will continue to be going through it.

7. Diddy Bop by Noname, Cam O'bi, Raury

There's a found family/sibling relationship that begins in the first book of my WIP. This song is kinda nostalgic and is about feeling like a kid again and I think the two characters experience this feeling when around each other.

8. Is It Any Wonder? by Durand Jones & The Indications

Lovey-dovey stuff that has yet to happen, but when it does, this song will make more sense. Right now, it's on the playlist for vibes alone but also helps me think of what the future for a few characters will be like.

9. Impossible by Travis Scott

This is another song I feel a character would listen to. Seth would have this song on repeat. It's also got a good flow and beat.

10. Lay Low by BLK ODYSSY

Another BLK ODYSSY song. I just really like his music. He's on most of my playlists. A lot of his songs remind me of certain settings in the story, like the swamp, the Fallen Forest, the palace, etc.

Tagging @sabinabardot @rhikasa @at-thezenith @faelanvance @sam-glade @snehithiye @harps-for-days @mrbexwrites @sentfromwolves @withlovelunette if you're interested!

[angebaby]

Intoject Ask Game

1. What's your name and source?

Ange, and I'm Angel Dust

2. What type of introject are you? (Fictive, factive, etc.)

fictive

3. How connected do you feel to your source?

i guess id say very connected

4. Do you have any exomemories? What's your favourite one?

my memories are vague and hard to talk abt and describe. but im thinki g abt times i had w cherri.

5. What do you think of your source's fandom?

I enjoy it mainly for all the great art and smut!!!

6. Do you have any sourcemates in your system?

well i dont rly know if we share the same canon, but we have an Alastor <3 do also have a Husk but I don't know him v well yet

7. Have you ever met any sourcemates outside your system?

yea! again not sure abt canons but, yea!!!

8. Have you ever posted/sent a sourcecall anywhere? Did it help you find sourcemates?

no havent felt the need to,, yet

9. What do you think are your biggest differences from/similarities to your source?

im a transfem dyke so yea that DOES change things but i didnt look different (or want to look different, i liked how i looked!) and i mean im not necessarily 100% exclusive to women but i prefer em fer sure (and i love women with weird and fucked up genders <3) OH another thing i guess I MUCH prefer topping. I mean 4 my job i just did what i had to do but I rly love being a dom top (there are instnaces/w certain ppl id prefer subbbing tho)

10. Do you like being compared to your source?

yea I do as long as ppl arent weird abt me being a real person

11. What's your favourite thing about your source?

hmmm. I guess I like. i dunno! the songs are fun

12. What's your least favourite thing about your source?

well one thing i dont like is that its so short lol. ik theres gonna be more seasons but. snot enough!

13. Any funny exomemories?

hmmm nothing coming to mind. damn i wanna think more abt memories....

14. Does your appearance differ from your source's appearance?

i dont think so

15. What other role, if any, do you have in the system?

I honestly dont know shit abt that

16. If you could go back to the life you had in your exomemories/source, would you?

UM NO. as much as I miss ppl, I'm ok not being in hell

17. Does this universe differ at all from the one in your exomemories/source?

umm yeahh lolll. cuz like, i do t ely have any memories as a living person, only rly remember hell

18. What's your favourite clothing item/accessory that the system owns?

we got some fun pink heart glasses! in general we need more fun clothes tho i dont like our stuff

19. Do you have any merch of your source?

Angel poster signed by blake roman!! we cant rly hang it up but its tucked away in onuv our sketchbooks

20. Do you ever get homesick? If yes, what do you do to deal with it?

I do. not really for any of the places, but I miss the ppl...I dunno what I do. just wallow? well I am in a fictive and kin server and I can talk about it there with other ppl who understand ao that. Helps

21. What songs remind you of your source?

I think keshas album gag order, like the WHOLE ALBUM reminds me of it.

22. What activities/things remind you of your source?

ummm flirtingg and having sex

23. Do you like engaging with your source/content about it?

I do, most of the time! I like rewatching the show, even ep 4. actually, I specifically like rewatching the first half of ep 4 the most. comforting, somehow??

when it comes to other hazbin stuff outside of the show, I honestly dont know as much about it. we didnt follow the pilot or any of the stuff before the show. but i do wanna start dipping my toes into that stuff, to see what still holds true fer me

24. Have you ever created content related to your source? (Art, fanfiction, etc.)

we've been drawin a bit! haven't posted most of it but DO plan on posting stuff on our twitter. I actually started a valangel piece today.

25. How do you feel about doubles?

I actually LOVE doubles, cuz I feel like they Get it, yknow?

26. Talk about anything you want, relevant to rhe rest of the questions or not!

i wish i has more memories but everythin is way 2 vague,,, but. um! oh well!

[sociallyawkward--fics]

hi xy time for what is becoming my annual checkin! how are u! i feel like since its been abt a year i have to infodump abt all my character development hold on i'll speedrun it. my pronouns r it/its zhey/zhem or (less preferred) they/them. and i have settled on those. it/its is the only one thats ever given me gender euphoria, took 4 years but i got there. ummm realized i have autism (undiagnosed). love the stimming and the being insane abt fictional characters the rest isnt that great. got anxiety meds!!!!! oh my god xy!!!! life is so good now antidepressants r a girls best friend. also. hold on ur never gonna believe this. i have adhd meds now. the crowd goes wild. was like yea doc idk i just think the anxiety meds r not improving my ability to focus what was that u said abt adhd^__^ n she was like hmmmm ok i cant diagnose u but i can give u this adderall u dont need a diagnosis for n if its like glory hallelujah we'll just assume u have it and GLORY HALLELUJAH. ive cleaned my room like more times in the past few months than i have my entire life im WINNING. i cant rly feel if its working but i'll sit down to write or smth n i wont get distracted every 5 seconds n the mental block that keeps me from doing things is gone!!!!! life changing stuff just wish i had it before my grades fuckin woooo splat. um my gpa is 2.2 weighted im like. ok well now that i have adhd meds im working on it -H (i feel like. ok i think tumblr made it so ur asks can be longer but fuck all those liberals n their woke agenda (joke) i am all abt tradition babey i'll be back for a pt 2 rq)

ummm rly into books love books. "thats old news h everyone knows that" but like im being wonderfully unnormal abt them<3 there was this one series the ascendance trilogy n i was fucking OBSESSED w it when i was younger n i learned there was a 4th n 5th book recently so like. the trilogy thing was a fuckin lie. but i obviously had to reread the series so i could read the new books n im still so obsessed w the series its so banger for a middlegrade series. got so unnormal abt it i made a 7hr playlist for the main character bc everyone elses sucked so much ass i just had to. still in the process of rereading but yeah. also theres this OTHER series the raven cycle i read recently n im also obsessed w that these series r all like my ideal books they hit all my favorite tropes. yeah just being rly unnormal abt books thats my current obsession. also. drawing. im so good at it u wouldnt believe. next fuckin van gogh right here. n honestly i dont even care abt going off anon it just bothers me bc my ROUTINE. the TRADITION. its just not the same. but i'll go off it just for u to show u some of my banger art. at a stage where im pretty frustrated at my limitations but that doesnt mean i cant recognize that im fucking awesome ok hold on again -H but yea ok to finish up what have u been up to! tempted to just ask what shows/game/etc uve been into but also i am exerting a little of my brain power to realize some ppls lives dont revolve around those. so just liek what have u been spending a lot of time doing. how is writing going! wait what r ur drawing skills just out of curiosity draw smth for me (if ur comfy ofc n dw i completely understand if it fuckin sucks taht was me just over a year ago) -H (when i was younger i used to think that ppl couldnt be good at writing n drawing they had to choose one. exerted my baby brain power to be like. it takes too long to get good at them u can only do one. then saw a book w the cover art credited to the author n i was like woahhh this is fuckin crazy living my younger selfs pipe dream)

----------

The way I have had a reminder on my phone to answer these asks for MONTHS but my executive function has been GARBAGE i am so sorry my friend it was not intentional to leave this sitting for so long i am so sorry!!! (also between the two of us this got Long so i am putting a read more so i don't take up a big block of people's dash in my return from the dead lol)

thank you for pronouns update! congrats on meds!! i gotta get me some of those so i can Detroit: Become Functional lol. I am rooting for you with your GPA!!! Also lol, love that we are following tradition of multiple asks still even with the tumblr updates letting asks be way longer now lol, it is just Familiar To Us

I will have to look into the ascendance trilogy!! My sibling is also obsessed with the raven cycle, but i have not read it yet (still debating if i want to or not, have been for YEARS lol, because i keep hearing "author problematic" and then never remember Why because i have Goldfish Memory). I will not post your off-anon ask with the artwork unless you want me to (want you to feel comfy on the blog and sending asks and I know you prefer anon!), but i will say that your art is AWESOME, my friend!! you are SO good and you're only going to keep getting better! I am glad you enjoy it!

Also bestie. This is a neurodivergent space lol, my life also revolves around shows/games/books/etc. they are the only thing that make the monotony of life and job-having under a neurotypical capitalistic society bearable lol. I actually have been getting back into reading ACTUAL BOOKS lately which feels GREAT (because reading Actual Books when i am so tired and Non-Functioning all the time is Hard lol), i am finally going through my seemingly-endless TBR and also have reread some old faves this year. Games-wise, the only thing i ever think about is still the Dragon Age games, Alistair is the love and light of my life lol. Show-wise.... i am in Limbo because of the Exhaustion, tragically, and also just waiting on new seasons (OFMD). Witcher has a new season out, but i have not watched it yet because Energy and also i have no motivation to because the last season they put out was so bad (even if i hear this one is good, i have lost trust lol)

Writing is. Not quite going lol. I have not finished a fanfic in ages, and also have made little to no progress on any of my original work attempts either, tragically. Hopefully things look up for me soon cuz I wanna get stuff DONE again lol, this blog has become so quiet and near obsolete because i cannot FINISH anything and it is TRAGIC.

Also, I have little-to-no drawing skills, but I also unfortunately do not have much energy to apply to drawing you a picture atm :(( maybe someday. Sometimes I can draw something that makes me go "omg i am not Awful, maybe I could actually put thoughts and energy into learning this as a skill" and other times it is like "i will never put pencil to paper (or stylus to screen) ever again" lol. Maybe someday when i am doing Better again i will hopefully have the energy to draw you something!!

[cognitosclowns]

What hobbies do you think the gang has? Thanks so much, I've been loving your blog!!!

OOOOOOOH <3 I LIKE THIS VERY MUCHLY, TYSM!!!

all sfw!! tw for some existential concepts w/ myc, and alcohol

OKAY IM GONNA STICK TO LIKE,, 1-2 HOBBIES PER EACH OF EM CAUSE OTHERWISE ITS GONNA TAKE ALL DAY - IF YALL WANT MORE FEEL FREE TO SHOOT AN ASK ABOUT A SPECIFIC BASTARD OKIE LETS GOOOO

Reagan

OH inadvertently,, its drawing??

Like she,, sketches designs out constantly, and she got really good at proportions and anatomy while working out AB’s design, etc!! Even when she was younger, Rand and Tamiko would just,, shove her some pencils and paper to keep her outta the way. It was never a conscious hobby but,, its the closest she’s got tbh!!

SO YEA SHE DRAWS!! not like,, actively, but sometimes when she just needs to Not Think for a little while?? she just starts absentmindedly scribbling out designs in her notebook!!

everythings really geometric!! even when hes working with,, organic shapes like flowers and faces, its all very tight thin lines, few curves if any. Its this really beautiful, distinct style!!

She loves the texture of pastels too,, and chalk,, i could totally see her having a big chalkboard in her lab that she draws on when shes trying to think through a problem.

Brett

OH exercise!! Running specifically is his jam. Just,, waking up super early when its just sunrise, feeling the temperature increase as he runs? He truly is a golden retriever man smdnsdmsnd

YKNOW WHAT??? he’s such a boy scout. he absolutely camps and hikes whenever he has the chance. It’s so peaceful oml <3333 he always brings a little jar (like,, an ounce? 2 ounces?) to put cool stuff he finds inside!!! For the memories, yk?

ON THE SAME NOTE, SCRAPBOOKING <33333 and journaling but mostly scrapbooking. He takes so many photos and notes and keeps so many souvenirs that it,, just,, kinda came naturally to him?

It’s also such a nice thing for when times are hard. It’s nice to look back on the good (and bad) times to see the ebb and flow!! Helps remind him that everything’s gonna turn out well on the end <33333

OH OH OH AND BAKING. I think I brought this one up before but,, come onnnn <3333 he absolutely bakes in his free time. 

Its so soothing,,,,,, and he gets food at the end. The only real times he got to see his family was during holidays and holidays means FOOD which means baking which means,,, a chance to make some really good food and impress them :’)

Gigi

I feel like she writes articles in her spare time. It's implied she used to be a journalist and,, she really misses it? Like she was BUILT for journalism lmao, a veritable Hildy Johnson.

She misses the rush of on-the-ground journalism.

scribbling out the start of her article in shorthand on her arm? Bribing cab drivers to speed so that she can get to the scene before anybody else? getting phone calls at 2 am with tips from a friend of a friend of a friend?

Especially since rn she's basically stuck behind a desk, supervising other people doing the fun stuff? It feels like a waste.

SO YEAH SHE ABSOLUTELY WRITES ARTICLES UNDER AN INDEPENDENT NAME. VERY FUN SHE LOVES

OH AND EQUESTRIANISM. We see in her SwipeRight profile that she has a tiger and,,,, I HC that she loves animals.

She never did it,, competitively?? She just loves horsies and their weird little faces and honking their snouts,, and taking care of em. It's so soothing to get away from the city and visit her horse <3

SHE'S THIS MASSIVE CLYDESDALE <333 her name is Maple bc she tossed Gigi into a Maple Tree the first time she rode her MSNDMSNDMSNDMSNDS

Gigi chipped her tooth and immediately decided she was the perfect horse fo rher and VOILA, 15 YEARS LATER MAPLE IS STILL HER BABY

 <3333 doesn't matter how big she gets, she's always gonna be Gigi's baby

Glenn

BOXINGGGGG <3333 not only bc the mental image of this man boxing sends me into cardiac arrest awooga AWOOGA,,,

he picked it up through High School - he was already pretty bulky form helping out on his family's farm and he just got bigger as he started boxing!!!

HE ALSO REALLY LOVES WRESTLING,, ITS JUST A BIT HARDER NOW BC OF HIS SPINE.

he uHe has trouble w/ a lot of exercises!! His spine and legs got seriously fucked during his surgeries so running isn't an option (lmao he always hated running so,,, yknow what he doesn't miss it that much-)

so...... he usually sticks to boxing, per his doctors request 🙄🙄🙄

BEFORE his surgery, he wouldn't wear gloves or wraps but,,, because he now has talons to deal with, he needs that buffer to make sure he doesn't gouge his own hand (although,, smdns on more than one occasion he has forgotten. Quite a few scars on his palm)

If he's had a particularly bad day, you'll most likely find him in one of the lower-level training rooms, absolutely massacring a punching bag!

Little addition at the end?? He hunts, and his shot would give some of Cognito's snipers a run for their money.

Andre

DND IM NOT ELABORATING ITS DND. 'high stakes elder scrolls' come on this man plays dnd and he has done since highschool. He got introduced to it by smb in his friend group

ACTUALLY I AM ELABORATING, BECAUSE HE TOTALLY DM'S. He loves the storytelling element to it - he's too insecure about his writing to actually,, yknow,, write, so DND gives him a place to put out all those ideas?

(if he does play its 100% gonna be an artificer or wizard.)

also,, rock climbing?? It was never explicitly said but considering he did parkour w/ Grassy Noel I GET THE VIBE HE’D LOVE ROCK CLIMBING?? <33333 oh to go rock climbing w/ Andre Lee in some obscure little corner of Virginia oughe <333

VERY GOOD MIXOLOGIST. He’s gonna do tricks with the bottles. and drop em all.

ITS FUN LEARNING NEW DRINKS THO AND MAKING UP HIS OWN. He feels like an alchemist ehehe >:) plus its way more low-risk than concocting diseases or flesh-eating goo.

Myc

He seems to be so disconnected from everything? Very apathetic overall? 

SO not really a traditional hobby, but people watching!! At first he did it bc,, he wasn't entirely sure what the best method was to approach. And also cause humans are weird gross little things xsmnds

BUT YEA ITS JUST BECOME A MUCH NEEDED HOBBY?? Once a week he just,, steals a jet, picks a random place in the world,,, parks himself somewhere and watches em all go by.

Sometimes its nice being a stranger!! Being attached to humans feels really disconcerting for him. like becoming best friends with a mayfly, yk?

Going somewhere where nobody knows him, nobody will remember him and he won't remember anyone he meets is like a palette cleanse.

Jr

GENUINELY I CANNOT THINK OF WHERE THIS MAN WOULD FIND TIME FOR A HOBBY?????

I think the closest he'd get is like,, retail therapy?

BUYING JUST,, SO MUCH SHIT. TO FILL THE ANXIOUS PIT IN HIS STOMACH. Pretty jewelry and furniture and new suits and haha what do you mean of course he isn't nervous :)

Once he got a message from the Shadow Board that shook him so thoroughly that he bought 3 malls worth of clothes

LISTEN HE'S COPING HOW HE'S COPING JUST,,, LET HIM HAVE THIS

I do like the idea that he used to play piano? He has this gorgeous grand piano in is dining-hall-slash-entertainment-area but,, the last time he actually PLAYED it was back when him and Rand were still working together, and it just feels wrong now. Instead it collects dust and mocks him.

Alpha-Beta

AT FIRST I WAS GONNA SAY LIKE,, Picross and Sudoku and Misc Puzzle-y Math-y things, but also?? I feel like he's so advanced that he wouldn't find any enjoyment in that. Half the fun of puzzles is the challenge of figuring out the answer, and when you have predictive + problem-solving algorithms up the wazoo,,,,, its just kinda boring lmao

I FINALLY SETTLED ON CHESS?? (EITHER BLITZ OR BULLET)

YEAH ITS KINDA BASIC FOR AN AI TO LIKE CHESS BUT IT FEELS UP HIS ALLEY?

It has the same problem-solving that puzzles give w/ enough of an element of unpredictability to keep him interested <3 PLUS the prospect of absolutely obliterating some humans at chess?

HE REALLY IS IN HIS ELEMENT <333 SUPER INTIMIDATING TO PLAY AGAINST THO. completely unflinching, barely pausing for any of his moves, this everso-slight smirk <3

THIS ALSO MEANS,, HE USUALLY DOESNT GET TO PLAY OFTEN?? Like even once he’s free roaming most ppl aren’t Actively Trying To Interact With The Omnicidal Robot,,, so,,, not a hobby he gets to enjoy often 

[shirophic]

relationship alphabet with fuyuhiko kuzuryu

here are some relationship headcanons with fuyuhiko kuzuryu for @iateyourdoggo-part2​ ! enjoy! (2/3)

tw: gn reader, 

A nnual - what’s something they and their s/o do together every year?

You two have a day where you both buy each other 5 to 10 things you think the other will like, and then after that whatever you guys want to! But you both have to be free on this day!

-

B ashful - are they shy in the relationship?

Most people would expect the bold and young yakuza to be the fierce one, but in reality he’s just a little softie. In public he doesn’t talk much - keeping a stern face and standing by your side. But in private he’s much more different. If he’s not busy he’ll slightly demand ask for cuddles. And once you get started theres no end to it! He’s shy in private but tries to keep a bold stance in public - proud yakuza things

-

C aptivating - what catches their interest in their s/o?

His interest started when you kept trying to speak and communicate with him. He’s only ever had peko, so he doesn’t expect anyone to try and be his friend. He’ll constantly deny hanging out with you until it’s been a while and he gives in. Reluctantly, he began to enjoy your presence and sometimes even asked to spend time with you! 

-

D omestic - do they plan to settle down/start a family?

He never really gave any thoughts to it, but I think he would. Maybe a kid or two, after he’s retired from his yakuza state. Most people, again, thinks he’s some apathetic guy - and again, that's not true. So yea, maybe he would but he never really gave any thoughts to it.

-

E mpathetic - do they understand their s/o well? are they good with emotions?

He would have a rough time understanding unless you tell him your feelings directly. Some obvious movements he can tell what’s up - some others he cant. He also has a hard time saying his own feelings, he definitely tries to practice communicating with peko

-

F ight - are they willing to forgive their s/o after a fight? if so, how? (slowly, quickly, etc.)

Well if you two ever fight, he’ll always be the first to apologize. It’ll take some time,  so he’ll apologize but slowly. He’s very stubborn, it’s basically canon ASJFJDF. But he’ll probably go up to you and apologize, he’ll probably blush though. Very very tsundere like.

-

G ift - do they spoil their s/o? if so, what kind of gifts do they give?

He definitely does! His wealth is very high, so if you ever want something, it’s at your door! Like that new merch that just dropped? At your door. You mentioned how you’re too broke to get any manga/books/movies? He bought all the editions. Etc. etc. 

-

H onesty - are they honest in the relationship? do they keep secrets? if they do, do they plan telling their s/o at a point?

He is honest, but he keeps some secrets to himself. He does plan to tell you, don’t worry, it's just that it's hard for him to communicate like I said before. Definitely more far into your relationship, even though its risky.

-

I nspiration - does their s/o inspire them? did their s/o help them over some obstacles?

Yes! You definitely did. You probably helped him soften up more and let his emotions flow. Thanks to you, he’s definitely relieved of some of his problems. As for obstacles, you helped him with anything he needed help with along with peko. You and peko are like his cheerleaders!

-

J ealous - do they get jealous? if so, how easily? what are their actions when jealous?

Yep, he does. Pretty easily, but he has his trust put into you as you two grow your relationship. He’ll make up some excuse and then as you two turn around he’ll glare at the person. Of course, you’ll have to communicate with him and explain yourself.

-

K iss - who initiates the first kiss?

You, definitely you. He’d be way to shy to do it, maybe he’ll ponder on it but he’s to shy to make a move. After the kiss he’ll blush and stutter a bit, but after it becomes a regular thing for you two, he’ll initiate the kisses.

-

L ove - who tells the other “I love you” first?

Again, you. It’s also likely he’ll blurt it out accidentally. Whichever you prefer ig. He’ll be in shock no matter which scenario, and probably will try and deny it a bit.

-

M arriage - do they plan to propose? if so, how and when?

Maybe, making your relationship official wasn’t a thought on his head. You were his boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other, he thought they’d already made it clear? But marriage would be nice, going along with settling down with a family.

-

N icknames - do they have pet names for their s/o?

when he’s comfortable, he’ll call you stuff like “dear” and “love”. But he’ll be a bit hesitant and will ask you weather you’re okay with it or not.

-

O bservant - do they observe their s/o often? what do they do if their s/o is happy/sad/angry/scared/etc.?

He does observe you often. He’ll notice some things like little changes in your attitude and actions. When he sees you happy he’ll slightly smile (if you two aren’t in public, and or if no one was watching)

when you’re sad, he’ll quietly come up to you with whats going on. If it was something/someone he’ll send his gang to them. If it was something like work/social media/etc. He’ll give you some cuddles and reassurance (if you’re comfortable with it), and if you’re not he’ll give you your space.

when you’re mad, he wont interfere, since he can get mad easily as well. After you’re calm again, everything would go back to normal as if nothing happened.

when you’re scared he’ll reassure you nothing bad was gonna happen and that he’d always be at your side. He’ll try and cheer you up with things you like/things that can make you happy.

-

P layful - are they playful? if so, do they pull pranks?

He’s not that playful, but he’ll tease you a bit. For example: if you fall he’ll snicker slightly before helping you up, and reminding you to be careful.

-

Q uaint - what’s something their s/o got them that makes them feel happy?

Well, for one, he’ll be happy with anything you get him, especially if it's something he’s wanted for a while. Due to him being rich, he could buy anything he wanted. But it’ll mean a lot more when from you, even if it was a little lopsided. 

-

R emembrance - what was their favorite memory with their s/o?

It would probably when you two had your first kiss. The kiss was a bit awkward but it was both of yours’ first kisses. After the kiss you two had cuddled and made your relationship official with each other. 

-

S ober - what would they say when drunk but not sober?

“Hey s/o, you dooo know that you mean the world to me riight? Like i cant even explaain how much you do. Your face is really pretty and you’re really kind! You’re amaazing!”

-

T idy - are they the messy one or the clean one in the relationship?

He is the clean one! Unless you’re also clean, he is definitely the clean one. Messy work spaces distract him and bother him. 

-

U pset - do they get upset easily?

He does, but not with you unless its something major. Like if his coffee machine wasn’t working, he’ll probably try numerous ways to get his coffee but none of them seem to be working - so he took the easy way out and shaked it vigorously. Yep 

-

V aluable - how valuable is their s/o and relationship to them?

Precious. Very very precious. Ever since you stepped into his life he sworn to not let anything bad happen to you. And if anything did, he’d think he’d be the one at fault for not protecting you and his and yours relationship. 

-

W ild card - any hc or scenerio! (up to the author)

Whenever you two cuddle, he’s always the little spoon! Unless you’d prefer being the little spoon, he is! He likes it because it makes him feel safe and protected that way, instead of the other way around.

-

X enolaila - do they have a special way of communicating with their s/o? language, gestures, etc?

You guys have a special way of communicating with your eyes! Whenever you/fuyuhiko needs help or is uncomfortable or just any feeling, theres always a special look in both of yours’ eyes.

-

Y earn - how far are they willing to go for their s/o and their relationship?

Very far, he’ll go to far, far (but reasonable) lengths for it. But unless you want to quit this relationship, he will very much die for you to keep you safe.

-

Z en - what is their s/o and their favorite place/time to relax together?

Whenever he’s done with work he loves to either cuddle/do something fun with you! He can’t catch a break with his duties, but for you he’ll try to make time for! His favorite is when trying to bake with you, that either causes the house burning down or you two actually getting the hang of it

[whatisgoingonpaul]

Headcannon hours

They’re both important and random I just wanted to make a few, some of these connect to my backstory post.

Which you can read here: this is my personal idea of the boys backstories. It does kinda end at the prequel so up to 1906:

David-

He is 19. (Born in 1887)

His last name is Hardy

I’ve mentioned this a lot before but he does not drink. He didn’t when he was alive and still doesn’t as a vampire. So it’s water or sodas for him, he personally likes Coke the best.

Low key advocating for them to put coke back in coke

David only does Weed on occasion, he is more straight up  cigarettes

When he was alive he was mildly Blue-Green colorblind. However like a lot of things it fixes itself bit when your a vampire and to say David went wild is a understatement.

He is a absolute sucker for westerns. Favorite movies no competition.

Holds a great deal of admiration for Billy the kid, Bonnie and Clyde , that kind of folk hero. Especially cause he semi lived though it .

Wildly into the “this famous person didn’t die they’re hiding” conspiracy’s

Half of his stuff is a act he’s a secret softie at times, however vampires kinda develop this weird sense of emotions, their cruel without even trying? Like he thinks he’s flirting. Maggots

You could punch him across the face and he’d say something stupid like ‘take me to dinner first’ never insult him. You’ll either be dead or he’ll think your flirting

Really bad history with love, he’s semi bitter about it and steers clear but is a total romantic

Has had a fling with marko in the past. It’s complicated.

The ballroom of the hotel is pretty Intact, that is HIS room. No one else even tries, some nights he’ll just curl up in there alone. Just thinking. He shuts the door and stays there, no ones really sure what he does but it’s a comfort for him, a comfort and a bitter reminder all at once. He never really got over her you know. (This was first brought up by someone else but I love it so ducking much)

Marko-

He is 20 (born 1886)

His last name is Connelly

The ‘Murder capital of the world’ is his work, so is a lot of the inside of the Hotel.

Crow marko crow marko crow marko. He likes shiny things, whatever he finds on the ground and takes interest in he’ll keep, he will randomly hand you something. It’s either a sign of affection on a threat. You become a quick guesser around him

He likes small animals, he relates to them. You would think they would fear him as most animals seam to have this extremely negative/fearful reaction around vampires but he works on it slowly. Currently it’s 3 pigeons , a bat and a opossum that comes and goes.

He knows how he looks. He knows about his soft features and statue like appearance, he knows to well. He FUCKING DESPISES being babied or being catered to and treated like a child or someone with a lot of money. He hates it. Don’t even try it he will bite your hand clean off.

However, he uses it to his advantage, with the natural looks and the sort of Glamor vampires have. It makes a lot of things super easy, kill , pickpocket etc. When he was alive he also pulled this sort of trick, though he still absolutely despised it and almost always ended with his knife at someone’s neck all wigged out

Protective, extremely protective. Loyal. He gets attached super easily.

He can go off on his own on occasion unlike the others.

He did have a fling with David, he was young and stary eyed, here comes this cool good looking guy helping him out. Stuff happens. Now he it’s done, it’s over with and he has Paul for one thing. However he does more of a second / does whatever he wants sort of deal

Started dating Paul in the 1910s however they were always flirty and touchy that the others were not shocked at all when they started with the ‘official’ title sort of thing.

Only person who can calm him down is Paul, on occasion David

He likes to throw his voice, to play around and make voices at random points. Like he’ll make impressions or have a random British accent at times.

Once dressed in drag to bust Paul out of jail, it was completely unessisary , so was shaving (it’s called detail) it was mainly to mess around in the skirt. Literally no one stopped him and they probably should have

Paul-

He is 18 (born 1888)

Last name is Campbell

No thoughts only movement

There is never a point where he is not moving around of figiting or humming

He is the embodiment of a Puppy, all play all the time always excited and typically cheerful. If you get him upset? What the hell did you do.

Slight bit of a weed and substance problem. It does not help that he can’t die from it.

T o u c h y , he doesn’t pay attention and there’s not a real difference on in public or not

He his this goofy sort of laugh half between a hyena and half between a yuppie

Doesn’t say dude all that much. Says Man and Bud a WHOLE lot more

Either to brave or to stupid to have fear

He is a lot smarter then anyone gives him credit for, he has a poor time keeping his attention that’s it.

Major flirt. He’s a natural at it and he also likes the reaction it gets from marko

Dwayne-

He is 22 (born 1884)

Last name is Maher

Jokes way more then Paul. He and Marko have a liking more towards making everything a game where as Paul will do something dangerous because it is dangerous.

Can skate and likes it, it’s such a simple thing and yet it’s so fun? It baffles him and he loves it. Takes it seriously too, that’s why he changed his boots out with some converse

He is the second dad to jasper the 7th (Markos current pigeon) for obvious reasons

Awkward, he makes it a point to look extremely cool and intimidating so he doesn’t actually have to talk to new people, if he does it’s mainly random hand gestures and ‘haha.., yea’

Literally not even close to mature he just knows go logically be careful with a small child

His hair is naturally that perfect. The other boys are super jealous

Not much of a talker , when he does it’s usually whispered or under his breath to the other boys

Slight thing for star ??? 

I have a bunch these are just a few, none of these are for something Spesific . Just what I could think of at the momment

[yeocult]

ATEEZ as students studying

HONGJOONG:

king of self-care! but studies for 15 minutes then take a 2 hour break and calls it self-care (omg he thinks he’s me or smth)

has power naps every single day at least 30 mins because he’s Stressed

always thinking of ways to drop out during the middle of lectures

that one kid that talks to nobody & sits at the back of the class with his hood on to hide his airpods

doesn’t do it anymore bc one time it disconnected and “there’s some whores in this house” blasted out loud & now he’s paranoid

shows up to group studies but lets the group carry him,,, but he puts out One Really good idea to get his name on the paper

only cares about topics he’s interested in, other than that he’s just astral projecting

“yo can you send me your answers so i can compare mine?” but he copies it and says “we got the same answers” (all men do is lie</3)

calculates his marks; “ok so i need at least a 80 on this...oh wait no, a 95...damn okay...”

the type to arrives late with ice coffee

SEONGHWA:

wakes up at 5 am to study instead of staying up

scented candles and lofi music for the ~studying mood~

a linguistic learner

learns best by teaching others so he’ll do group studies often to help other people

teaches people without making them feel dumb

uses grammarly for his emails with 3 paragraphs asking 1 question with a proper greeting and a ‘sincerely, park seonghwa’

professor: ok - sent from iphone

you’ll never see him during exams week, he’s Gone

a loyal user of the outline method

his desk must be cleared at all times! a clean workspace makes it easier to focus

brings extra pencil just in case anyone needs them bc he’s the sweetest person ever (he’s fully aware that he’ll never get them back but it’s okay bc sharing is caring)

does his readings on time (you’ll never catch him slacking)

actually has his shit together for the most part 1/2

YUNHO:

writes “i love you” or “sorry” at the end of his tests (that he bombed)

the type to ask you to print “just one thing real quick” and it’s 15 page and at 2 am

uses emojis like :D & \(^o^)/ when sending emails to his professors

has a bad habit of copying word for word on the slide and he doesn’t actually understand/learn anything

goes to the library bc he thinks that’ll help him be in the ~studying vibe~

it doesn’t. ends up texting or watching youtube gameplay

has never heard of the colour-coding system in his entire life and ends up with a page filled with neon highlight

snacks breaks are the only thing keeping him Normal

leaves himself an encouraging note at the end of the reading page so when he’s finished he feels good !!

friends with all of the professors and uses all office hours

strongest points are his guessing skills in multiple-choice questions (process of elimination ftw!)

he tries his best, doesn’t care about marks that much because he knows it doesn’t determine him (and he’s right!)

YEOSANG:

probably runs a studyblr/gram

has the cutest note ever, his handwriting is so pretty!!

he thinks that buying an ipad pro & apple pencil will make him smarter

likes it bc he can doodle on it then erase them easily :”)

has to wear blue ray glasses because of how he looks at a screen so much

mildliners, muji 0.38 gel pen, 6 ring binder, minimal planner, washi tapes, you name it! he visits muji and daiso every other week

buys wayyy too many planners and notebooks which he never ends up using

only uses pastel mildliners because they’re easy on the eyes. cringes every time he sees yunho’s highlighters v_v

his flaw is that he spends 10 mins writing his header with brush tip pens

mutes the group project gc but gets his part done like the good classmate he is

sweats every time he gets an assignment back, takes a whole ten minute to mentally prepare himself

a visual learner; makes mind maps, flow charts, etc

actually has a working printer that he uses pretty often to prints lessons before class just to be Extra prepare

tells everyone he slept well but his bullet journal habit tracker for sleep says otherwise (plz rest!!)

exclusively uses college ruled paper like the sane person he is

SAN:

uses wide-ruled paper (unfortunately not everyone is perfect</3)

starts off very positive, motivated, and organized

then everything goes downhill by the second week

will definitely set byeol on top of his keyboard, take a picture, and send it to his professor as an ‘excuse’ as why he needs an extension (it works)

can’t sit still for any longer than 30 mins, his legs are always bouncing or fidgeting with pen

flashcard king! spends a lot of time on them but it’s worth it

a utensil chewer (always willing to share his pencil but when ppl saw the bite marks they’re like No Thanks >_>)

can’t study well with groups or himself bc he’ll be distracted,,, so he needs one person that can ground him bc when they’re in the zone, he will too be on his x game mode

sends his assignment at 11:58 pm hoping his professor will take the Hint (plz don’t be afraid to ask for help u_u)

prefers listening to ghibli studio soundtracks but then he either gets emotional or sleepy

sometimes forget to mute his mic and we just hear him groaning in frustration

“haha sorry i just stubbed my toe...”

then mutes his mic and goes back to his mental breakdown

MINGI:

the only person that studies every single day just to get his brain used to the information and running

probably listens to anime op or edm music for that Energy Boost

everyone either hates or love him because...

1. loves him bc he always comes clutched with study guides (and willing to share if he likes you enough)

2. he’s good at everything even if he’s not paying attention/doing it last minute

just naturally good at retaining information and applying them

asks Big Brain question that even the professors are shook

sometimes he gets super into the topic and wants to know Everything

“i’ve never failed an exam in my life” and he’s right! big brain mingi

fetal flaw is that he forgets easily (hence why the last minute) and has to write on his palm as a reminder

clicks his pens All the time so he switched to pens with caps just to keep others from jumping him

takes naps 10 mins before classes

actually has his shit together for the post part 2/2

“if no one got me, i know khan academy and quizlet got me. can i get an amen”

WOOYOUNG:

y’all know that one mf that doesn’t have a pencil?

yea he’s been using the same one someone lend to him before a test and never returned it

it’s been two months and it’s still working well and they’re never going to get it back

a minimalist,,,, but in a bad way</3 bc he carries his stolen pencil and paper that he spilled his energy drink over and that’s about it

just throw loose papers in his bag and forgets about their existence

doesn’t do binders or notebooks, just crumbled up paper

sometimes carries a textbook just to show everyone that he’s got his life together

really noisy for No reason, always wants to know other’s marks

a kinesthetic learner

hides his screen with he gets the kahoot questions wrong (you’ll never catch him slippin)

plays coolmathgames.com during class

doesn’t really know what to study/prioritize so he overwhelms himself with every single topic ever

thinks he’s god by pulling an all-nighter to look at the 60+ slides last minute

Swears he’ll change and do better next semester,,,</3

goes to the cafe, takes pictures of his notes & laptop, post it on his story, then leaves

JONGHO:

thrives off of red bull and ice americanos

gets notes and study guides from his upperclassmen because everyone loves jongho

an audio learner so he’ll probably work out or go on a jog while listening to lessons/audiobook

never pulls all-nighters bc it messes up his sleep schedule and says he’ll do it in the morning but he never does

doesn’t even own a highlighter, he’ll circle or underline stuff with a red or black pen

has never touched a textbook in his life

only the study guides and slides, his textbook is collecting dust rn

his notes are literally Only for him because his handwriting only makes sense to him

has questionable handwriting,,, it’s like decoding

multitasks a lot but it ends up taking a lot longer than he wanted to (bc it’s a myth)

very spontaneous; he’ll grind for 5 hours straight but sometimes he won’t even touch a pencil

works best when he talks about the work in groups and share information with each other, like having a convo about the topic

unmutes his mic Once after the lesson to say “bye”

does his work right after the lessons but then takes a short break & doesn’t even Look back for the rest of the night

-

a/n: tag yourself ! i’m a bit of hohong (i projected myself on all of them in some way lmaooo)

[vegetalass]

hcs of the gang being quarantined in one big house together maybe?? 🥺 lub ur writing

i lub u, anon!!🥺 sorry this took forever!

General 

Oh my godddddddddd

They had to stop doing movie nights because there was too much fighting 

They tried to set it up such that everyone got a turn to pick a movie but there were still complaints

Now, movies are viewed at random and the policy is that 

1. The TV is first come first serve

2. You have to announce when you’re using it

3. Anyone is allowed to join you 

This has stemmed into multiple people shouting “IM WATCHING _____” at random times

And yes, people will try to hide the remote (mostly Sean)

If they can find it, that is

The lines between public and private property have been blurred. Everything must be labeled or there is a chance someone will take it 

You can risk it, but it’s not recommended since they’re all dudes and will most likely eat anything 

And even with your name on a box of graham crackers, there’s still a chance someone will stick their hand it in and steal a few

All the dudes walk around in their Long Johns like it’s not awkward

They have to do their own laundry so everyone is missing socks

Or they have extras

And wet laundry is constantly being left on the ground if it’s unattended and someone needs the washer 

Arthur

This dude double dips 

He licks the spoon and puts it back in, too 

Gets yelled at a lot for this, but never remembers to stop

Everybody is afraid to touch all of the dips now because of this 

And Hosea has to start buying separate ones just for Arthur

He’s the one who takes 3 hour baths 

I imagine that there’s multiple bathrooms in the house but not enough for everyone so there are definitely times when people are like “WTF, Arthur you’re still in there?” or “Where’s Arthur?” 

Usually it’s Charles or John because they don’t mind sharing a bathroom with each other 

Cue Arthur having accidentally fallen asleep in the tub 

But yea he’s just chilling in there, otherwise

Started the quarantine off by trying to fix up the house… But immediately got lazy

There’s probably a number of things he keeps saying that he’ll “get to, eventually”

The only reason Dutch hasn’t called someone is because it’s a PANDEMIC

Technologically challenged 

Barely knows how to turn on the TV and still uses an iPhone 5 that has pretty much stopped working

John has given up trying to explain how to make things fullscreen on YouTube

Because of this, probably spends most of his time wandering around the yard and reading or journaling

Tilly even bought him some scrapbooking supplies, which he’s been trying to use 

Little washi tapes and highlighters because she knows it can’t get too complicated too fast 

She also makes him an Instagram account so he can take photos or post art

But figuring out how it works is a losing battle, and he never remembers to use it, anyway 

“I think we should get a pet” 

Everyone: “Arthur... Do we look like we take care of ourselves? 

If anyone tries to talk about how annoying the quarantine is, starts ranting about people who refuse to take it seriously

And the conversation ends up spiraling into him blaming capitalism for everything

John 

Every other meal he eats is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or Doritos

He does that thing where he wraps a bowl or plate in plastic wrap so he doesn’t have to wash it 

Doesn’t clean up after himself

Leaves used tissues, slimy butter knives with PB on them, and crusty socks laying around 

Unluckiest of them all 

His snacks get taken the most, the bathroom is always occupied when he needs it, never gets to use the TV, his laundry is always moved, etc. 

Always ends up using the bathroom when there’s no toilet paper

Texts Arthur for help and then makes an announcement in the group chat about “common courtesy” 

Nobody replies

His texts are full of messages to Abigail that all say the same thing

“Help.” + “Please come get me” + “I hate it here”

They’re all left on read except for the occasional response asking if he needs anything from Target

The list he sends back is like four paragraphs long and it’s all dumb stuff 

He’s like “FaceTime me when you get there, I wanna go shopping too”

Doesn’t even really want to leave the house for necessities, so he has to do stuff like water down his soaps or steal other people’s toiletries just to prolong how often he needs to go shopping for himself

He’s the one using Irish Spring from the dollar store mixed with water or a block of orange Dial soap that hasn’t been touched in five years 

Charles tries to throw away an empty hand soap and John is like “THERE’S STILL SOAP IN THERE LOOK” *mixes water with it* 

Steals razors and Shampoo 

Thinks conditioner is “unnecessary” and “doesn’t do anything” 

Complains about being bored but doesn’t bother to do the things people that people offer

Charles 

Voluntarily becomes a recluse 

Not because he wants to but because everyone else is too annoying to deal with 

He’s forced to start using the internet and when he’s not on the computer he’s trying to block out the noise of the 8 other men he lives with just living 

Going on walks is his other hobby

Also probably buys one of those adult coloring books to color

Like Athur, Charles hogs the bathroom 

It’s not as bad as Arthur since he’s not in the tub for the whole time but he really will spend an hour getting ready in the morning for absolutely no reason 

If anyone asks about it he just tells them that since they’re in quarantine there’s no reason to rush 

But he does get yelled at if there’s no other bathrooms available 

Becomes a self-care connoisseur 

Walks around in a bathrobe and face mask just to try and achieve some sort of zen 

Literally the only one who doesn’t walk around half naked

Besides Hosea, the one of the only guys who tries to wake up on time and eat three healthy meals a day 

The house is entirely dark and he’s eating toast while Hosea makes coffee 

It’s awkward, not because they’re weird about each other but because no one else is awake and it’s quiet for once 

Dutch is the third person up and Charles leaves the kitchen by the time he’s around 

Gave up trying to do the dishes and only cleans what he uses

Sometimes if he feels like being nice he’ll do Arthur’s dishes, too 

But only if he gets something back in return, like Arthur doing his laundry or something

The only one who changes his bedsheets on the regular

Him and Kieran are the only ones trusted by Hosea to leave the house safely 

Micah 

Everyone is surprised Micah isn’t dead yet

Everyone is constantly fed up with him for something or for just being irritating 

And try to ignore him for the most part, which is hard

Tries to defends himself with “Well, you don’t have to bother me if you don’t want to” 

Doesn’t clean up after himself, either

John leaves more mess, but Micah does worse stuff 

While John just leaves his dirty peanut butter knives around, Micah does stuff like forget to put the mayo back in the fridge, leave the bread bag out and open, forgets to bring his used dishes to the dishwasher, throws his trash in other people’s trash cans, leaves his wet laundry in the dryer, etc. 

If it’s annoying and gross, he does it 

And tries to eat food that other people have made for themselves or don’t want to share with him 

Dutch is the only one who shares with him willingly

Does not pick up his hair from the bottom of the shower

And doesn’t clean the sink after he shaves

Honestly, I doubt any of the drains in the house work properly because so much shaving goes on 

It’s honestly surprising to everyone that he takes the quarantine seriously 

Accuses people of being sick even though all of them have barely left the house… 

Wears a mask inside when he’s feeling salty 

He doesn’t even care about the mask, it’s just to make people feel gross and bad about themselves

Besides Sean, he’s always trying to hog the TV

And everything he watches is annoying, pretentious, or both

Complains about there being “nothing to watch” despite always having something on and refusing to stop

Tries to smoke inside and literally always get busted for it

Even if other people are doing it too, he’s the one who doesn’t even bother to be by a window when he does it

His room is always off limits 

If you need something from him you need to knock and wait in the doorway

Also does the “You’re too close… Step back, please” thing

And if anyone gets mad, says it’s a pandemic and he’s just trying to be SAFE

Mostly does this to feel powerful

Turns in to Uncle Jr. with all the complaining and berating he does

Uncle is honestly offended

Hosea

The only person allowed to do the shopping 

He gave up trying to give people lists because the groceries they came back with were never right 

Either too few, too many, not the right stuff... You name it 

See here for more

That’s why, despite being the oldest, he’s the one who goes grocery shopping for meals twice a week 

Refuses to buy alcohol because of incidents that they’ve had

Can’t stop people from sneaking it, though

Similar to Dutch in that he gets annoyed when people oversleep, but because its quarantine, he tries to not mention it, and at the worst, gets passive aggressive 

Tries to make a chore chart for people to follow but it gets ignored

He ends up having to force people to do things by reminding them constantly 

He’s the one who starts opening people’s doors in the morning and turning on the lights

Makes everybody start eating on paper plates with plastic silverware because he’s tired of trying to make people use the dishwasher 

Arthur doesn’t know how, John doesn’t put his plates in the right place, Charles refuses to since no one else contributes to keeping it neat, Micah doesn’t even know they have one, Kieran also can’t fill it correctly... 

Basically, it’s too much for Hosea to handle 

His dinners are all Costco pre-made meals that can be made quickly 

Frozen lasagna and prepackaged salad type stuff 

He’s the guy who falls asleep on the couch sitting up while watching TV and if you try to talk to him he says “I’m awake” without opening his eyes

And if he’s using it, don’t even think about suggesting to change the channel 

The answer is and always will be no

Even when he’s not really paying attention

And it’s either on the History Channel or Discovery Channel

Always complaining about how cold his feet are

Doesn’t let anyone touch the thermostat

He’s an in real life Elf on the Shelf

Dutch 

If anyone, and I mean anyone starts sleeping in, he gets in a really pissy mood 

“While I’m up, doing work for you, you’re sitting in bed being lazy!!!” and “What do you mean you don’t understand why! Why should I have to tell you why wasting the day is annoying to all those who are working!” 

Even despite this, he can’t actually change the fact that no one wakes up on time

And it’s not like the work he’s doing for them is very important

He’s the one who thinks that a pandemic is the perfect time to be or do something useful

Eat healthy, write a book, pump iron… Anything

And when people complain about being useless he’s like “You have all this free time!!!1! Stop complaining!!! You can do anything!!!” 

And if he’s doing something he considers useful, yells at people who try to bother him 

Arthur: “Hosea wanted to know-”

Dutch: *doing sit ups* “CAN’T YOU SEE I’M BUSY?” 

When it’s his turn to cook dinner, he’s making 8 boxes of Trader Joe’s mac and cheese in a huge pot and calling a meal

Literally the only meal no one complains about 

He won’t clean the pot when it’s finished, though

Literally just cooks and leaves it out for someone else to deal with

Another self-care aficionado 

Also walks around in a bathrobe and face mask 

He’s worse than Charles though, because while Charles wears pants... Dutch will be booty ass naked under his 

Also keeps trying to make homemade masks and scrubs and walks around in those, too 

He’s like “This is a good one, I can tell already” 

Everyone: “Dutch... is that... mayo... in your hair?”

Annoyingly good at monopoly

Does not invite Molly over and gets yelled at over FaceTime

Cue everyone eavesdropping on their arguments

Goes on power walks

Yells at people when they listen to loud music with swear words 

Honestly, always yelling at people

“Can somebody get me my slippers? Arthur? John? Hosea? AnYoNe!!!”

Kieran 

Spends the least time in the bathroom because he’s afraid of getting yelled at 

Does everything in five minute increments 

Except for showers, when he allows himself ten minutes

Barely 

Most of what he eats is just microwave popcorn and shredded cheese

He’s the one asking people if they want to go on “family walks” with him

Literally no one joins him 

Also tries to play board games with everyone

This goes a little better at least because Hosea will sometimes play and if he’s there, a few people will definitely join 

Very bad at monopoly

The most conscious about wearing a mask 

The others wear them but Kieran is the one who wears double masks, gloves, and carries around Febreeze 

Also will get mad if anyone forgets their “safety equipment” 

Or if they’re within six feet of him in public

Props to him though for staying healthy 

I’ve mentioned this before, but... Spends most of his time playing games on a big tablet wearing headphones

Candy Crush and FarmVille and Words with Friends and stuff like that

Though all of his internet friends are weird old ladies he doesn’t know 

Everyone is mad at him for sending non-stop game notifications, too

Hosea is the only one who responds to any of them 

He’ll never admit this, though

Also tries to start doing arts and crafts 

Mary-Beth started telling him about the various crafts she’s been doing, so he’s started trying to follow along, too 

Things like crocheting or popsicle stick art 

His stuff all looks bad, but he’s just happy to be doing it

And to be FaceTiming Mary-Beth

When he gets to choose a movie, he’s picking a “family-friendly” movie like Inside Out or Lilo and Stitch 

Everyone starts out being mad but they all end up watching the whole thing without complaining 

Heated debates ensue, too 

For example, like about whether Flynn should’ve cut Repunzel’s hair in Tangled 

“YOU’RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I’M WRONG?” 

Charles + Arthur vs. Dutch + Bill

Makes meatloaf or Hamburger Helper like once a week

They’re basically the only thing he knows how to make 

Sides with Arthur when he suggests getting a pet

Wears a Snuggie 

Doesn’t change his socks 

Javier

Plays his own music very loudly and won’t turn it off or down if you ask 

Either that or he’s practicing guitar 

It’s not really that bad but when you can’t escape it.... People get mad 

The only saving grace is that the singing is usually in Spanish so it’s not as bothersome

The door to his room is always closed

Refuses to open it

To talk to him, you have to knock and then he’ll exit

Dutch is the only one allowed in and he thinks Javier’s rules about entering are creepy so never does it

Javier cooks his own food and won’t share

Only makes enough for exactly one person so even if he wanted to, there’s not enough

Eats dinner in his room to prevent people from bothering him or asking for some

However, he has the biggest stash of quarantine snacks… 

No one knows where he gets them

And getting him to share is like trying to do a drug deal, but he’s not against it as long as he gets something in return 

He didn’t personally cook all these snacks so the rules are different 

His room is full of scented candles to make it smell better since the whole house kinda smells like Boy 

Buys a gamer chair at the start of quarantine 

Claims it’s more comfortable than the office chair that Dutch and Hosea chose for everyone

Everyone is jealous

Wears fuzzy pajama pants only 

Sean

Sean is the one sleeping in

Never sleeps in his bed and just falls asleep wherever, basically

Usually the couch

Because he’s always snoozing, he’s the one who watches the most TV

Micah claims this isn’t “fair,” despite doing the same thing

And even if he’s not watching TV, he’s just using the couch to watch Tik Toks full volume 

Tries to make his own Tik Toks, but they either stink or no one wants to participate

Constantly having people get mad at him for recording them 

Stopped wearing clothes the moment quarantine started

Always in a tank top and his underpants 

It’s kinda weird 

People cared at first but by now they can’t be bothered to complain since they’re 

1. Used to it 

2. Probably start doing the same thing

Leaves his laundry laying around

Also won’t share anything he’s eating 

Gets mad when people steal food

Doesn’t address anyone in particular though, just walks around yelling about how “nobody has the common decency not to steal” 

Has food delivered almost every other day 

No one knows where he’s getting the money from, either

Everyone think it’s a waste

Mostly because he doesn’t share, but also because all hell broke loose when Hosea found out about an expense called “delivery fees” 

Also has a stick up his ass about wasting food 

Started yelling about this randomly, too 

If he can’t force someone else to finish leftovers, he forces himself to finish them 

Probably gets caught watching a certain type of nasty video a lot

Lowkey it probably happens to everybody at least once

Yells at anti-maskers 

Tries to wrestle the other boys and gets his ass handed to him

Bill

Possessive of everything 

Usually he’s not this bad but being cooped up with a bunch of thieves and liars doesn’t make him confident that his Circus Animal cookies will last very long 

Doesn’t share anything and very adamant about making sure there’s labels on things so nothing gets mixed up

Also makes his own space in the fridge with tape 

BILL’S SPACE DO NOT TOUCH 

And will start yelling in anything is moved 

Not as bad as Sean though because he only cares about his own stuff

The whole thing is super hypocritical though, because he definitely steals other people’s stuff

If he gets caught, claims “it’s only fair” 

Hosea has to buy him soap because he won’t buy it himself

Definitely the one who learns how to make prison hooch with cranberry juice and yeast

And the one who eats all of the ice cream 

Even the nasty flavors 

Wears the same clothes everyday because since he’s not working, “they’re not dirty” 

They start getting holes in them, though

If anyone tries to suggest something for him to do, he gets mad and claims he “knows how to entertain himself”

Also constantly accusing people of being in his space or business 

Ends up starting a ton of fights over this and then complaining about how mean everyone is to him 

He’s not doing it on purpose, though 

Ends up buying some kind of gaming console to pass the time

If he buys an Xbox, he shares with the rest of the boys

If he buys a nintendo switch, he starts playing Animal Crossing and doesn’t put it down for weeks 

Out of everyone… He’s the one who takes the pandemic the least serious 

He follows the rules because he doesn’t want to be eaten alive by any of the boys, but he probably thought the virus was a hoax at first 

He learned his lesson the first time he tried to go out without a mask and got locked in the car, though

Forgets to flush the toilet 

His room is dirty

[borom1r]

oooh 1, 3, 4 n 8 fr eric if u want!! (+ I'm answering yr ask rn ty!!!)

aaaa hell yea dude ty ;;

1.) Describe your f/o’s voice. Is it deep and rough, or smooth and sweet? Does it happen to have an accent or a lisp?

soft;; it’s a little rough definitely but overall he’s just got a very nice, soft voice. I love to just lay there and listen to him talk about stuff/sing, it’s really relaxing..

3.) Is your f/o a cuddler, and do they get more cuddlier in private?

hmmm yes and no?? it depends on his pain level/if he’s feeling overstimulated. so like, Yes, he is generally a cuddler and won’t turn me down if I offer, but sometimes “cuddling” for us is just laying together in the dark, holding hands with the TV on in the background for a little light/noise.

he definitely gets cuddlier in private shdhd💚

4.) What ways does your f/o show their love for you? By surprising you with your favorite snack once in a while, or giving you back massages when you’re in pain?

a big thing for both of us is leaving notes for th other.. w/ Eric’s memory issues, it started as just “here’s a reminder, love you” but quickly evolved into more. we leave notes tucked into things for each other, taped in weird places, etc— as ways to surprise each other n make each other smile (important notes still wind up in obvious places like taped to the front door/set right next to his keys/on his clothes for the next morning)

8.) What do they usually do to take care of you when you’re ill, and vice versa? (More importantly, do they burn the soup?)

oh god I don’t generally get.. sick? like catch a cold etc. i have pretty mild seasonal allergies but that’s about it? aside from cramps I can’t think of the last time I’ve been SICK sick— but when I do have cramps there’s not a lot that helps except a shitload of naproxen and sleep. Eric will usually just lay next to me + put a movie on, and will make sure I get smthn to eat for dinner

Eric on th other hand. i mean a chronic illness is a chronic illness, bad days come and go but it’s never cured. we have a number system w/ a few different levels of shittiness: 1-5. 1 is an average day, mild pain + mild-no noise/light sensitivity. 2 is mild pain but medium noise/light sensitivity— we’ll hole up together someplace quiet + he’ll usually wind up w/me laying on him. 3 is medium pain + medium noise/light sensitivity; he can’t handle being touched quite as much so that’s more of him w his head on my chest, quiet talking + fixing him simple foods when he feels up to eating. 4 is medium pain + severe noise/light sensitivity— noise-cancelling headphones are a go-to, and no lights in the house except for a handful of nightlights + the wax-melter with a very soft lamp in the bedroom. he may or may not feel like being touched so I’ll usually just read or play games on my phone next to him, so my side is open if he wants to be close but otherwise he’s got his whole half a bed. 5 is severe pain + severe light/noise sensitivity, and these days it’s mostly just making sure he eats something plain so he can take his meds + otherwise is getting plenty of fluids, laying next to him so I’m on standby if he needs smthn but otherwise just giving him space bc he very rarely feels like being touched

+ that’s not even touchin on the Mental Fuckedness that comes from bein a jigsaw survivor. nightmares are awful for him.. and same thing there, sometimes he wants contact but sometimes he doesn’t— depends on th dream

[skullsandwineglasses]

Life Lessons

The things you thought you wanted when you were 18 are very different from the things that you realize are important when you’re 24. 

1. Meet cutes

You fantasize about running into a stranger at a coffee shop, a book store, a library aisle, a grocery store lineup, etc and that you’ll click with them right away. You think “the one” is out there somewhere. But Ashley from bestdressed put it best: do you really think that out of the 7 or 8 billion or so people on the planet, you were born down the street or a city away from your soulmate? How is life going to be that convenient?

I thought college would be my Debut(TM), especially after a comfortable but uneventful time in high school. But college was quite anticlimactic. I was even less social if that was even possible. It’s hard to make friends when you’re not forced to sit next to the same people everyday. You instead meet people from afar who seem to be living, breathing real-life protagonists: beautiful, smart, witty, stylish, artsy, outspoken. I found myself trying to emulate them. I felt like I was falling behind in terms of who I should be in life. 

I tried to take control. If you don’t put yourself out there, how would meet cutes ever happen? So,

I go to coffee shops: but everyone’s too busy to look up from the work on their laptop screens to pay any attention to anyone else. 

I go to bookstores: but everyone’s too busy scanning the titles on the shelves to pay any attention to anyone else. 

I go to the library: see coffee shop.

I’m in the grocery store and someone asks me about the best coconut milk to use for curry: they get their answer and leave. 

I go to a jazz bar: again, everyone’s too busy listening to the band to pay any attention to anyone else.

I go to a swing dance social night: but everyone’s too busy trying to dance with as many different partners as possible in order to diversify their skills to linger any attention on anyone

You can’t say I didn’t try. 

Bonus:

Imagine you’re feeling bummed that you got assigned an aisle seat on the plane, only to approach your seat and see that a cute guy is sitting in the window seat next to yours. Could this be the meet cute you’ve been waiting for? You sit down. He says hi. You return the greeting a little too excitedly. You move to the fasten your seat belt. He speaks again: “So, my girlfriend has a window seat a couple rows back. I was wondering if you...”

Stunned, you pull the seat belt back and get up, gathering your stuff. “Oh yea, for sure, no bother at all. I wanted a window seat anyway.”

I kid you not. Cringe writes itself. It was like the opening of a bad romcom where the side character has one romantic failure after another. 

-> Moral of the story: Don’t expect to arrive at a place hoping that you’ll lock eyes with someone across the room. People go to places for the services that the place provides, and so they’ll be focused on their purpose for having gone to said place. Taylor Swift songs and YA novels did a wonderful job of misinforming me of how indifferent the social environment is like in public spaces. 

2. Exchanging phone numbers

So, maybe someone finally asks for your number. You part ways at the subway station. He promises to talk to you soon. But after 3 days, you wonder why he hasn’t texted you yet. You get a text from him Sunday morning asking you to meet for coffee that evening. You’re outside the cafe at 7:15, waiting. He texts you apologizing for being late because he was jogging around the lake and lost track of time. He says he’s on his way. You never hear from him again. 

-> Moral of the story: Even if you do ending up having a cute first encounter with someone at a subway station, it doesn’t mean things will work out. I’ve been ghosted like this 3 times. It’s gets harder trying to give men the benefit of the doubt each time.

I had thought that my self worth depended on how many strangers would approach me for my number. I thought that being liked was the only way to be validated. And while being asked for your number is flattering the first time, the illusion quickly shatters when you learn that the success of a relationship hinges on more than just the circumstance of the first meeting. 

3. Reading signs

You’re in line at the airport after returning from a conference trip, waiting to get through customs. You finally reach the customs officer who asks about the reason for your trip. 

“A conference,” you say.

“For?”

“Narrative. You know, like storytelling”

He hands you back your passport. “So are you an author?”

“Oh no, I just study the psychology of storytelling”

His face lights up. “Wow yes, storytelling is so important. It’s the foundation of civilization. That’s great”

“I’m glad you’re able to appreciate it. Not many people do when I tell them.”

“Well that’s because they don’t understand how important storytelling is to the basis of civilization. And for me too as someone who works in law enforcement.”

“Yes, for sure,” you say nodding. You look at the line behind you and start to move to leave.

“Well, it’s too bad we can’t talk more. Have a great day, miss”.

You walk towards the exit where the baggage claim is, and your head’s a blur. Was he...flirting? You’ve never met a stranger who was that interested in your research before, much less a border officer who was willing to stall the line just to ask you more about what you do. 

You begin to wonder if you should have left a card or a number so that you could talk later. You know, for research purposes. It’s always nice to make a friend outside your field who shares the same interests as you. But none of that matters now anyway because #ACAB. What’s done is done. But you still wonder about what his intentions were when he started that conversation. It’s too bad we can’t talk more. Yeah. A shame.

-> Moral of the story: Be more assertive. Offer a way to connect if you’re interested. Why do we keep reinforcing the idea that women can only be acted on and can’t act themselves?

4. To love or be loved

Like many young adults, I often question if my mother really understands what it means to be in love. She seems to like the idea of love, the idea of the perfect fateful meeting, but proudly says that she never fully gave her heart to anyone. She’s always warning that it’s better to receive love than to give it. That you end up at a disadvantage if you love first and love more. 

But I think I’d rather have the agency to make that choice than to be chosen. All throughout high school and in the media, we seem to glorify having someone choose us and love us unconditionally. But that’s unrealistic. There’s no such thing as unconditional, but I do hope to get as a close as possible to it. I want to love someone even if they might not love me back. I want to know how it feels like to put someone else first. Maybe this is just another teenage fantasy that has re-manifested itself in adulthood, but I want the freedom of stretching my feelings out than to feel the weight of that of someone else’s whom I can’t reciprocate. 

It also has to do with how much the alpha male is romanticized in our culture. I realize that I don’t want a domineering male version of my mother, who herself is controlling, obsessive, and possessive. I want a friend, not someone who thinks that I constantly need to be coddled and protected for my own good. 

It’s also a stupid expectation to have of real life men. If the men in my life are any indication, then they have goals and ambitions that they want to pursue. Everyone does. A relationship is a mutual support system. It’s not about how much as can take from someone. 

5. Choices

Some people say that you can fall in love with a city by falling in love in that city. 

TW: Sketchy interactions in ubers/taxis

I was grabbing coffee with a guy that I just met in a foreign city that I was visiting. It was approaching 9pm and he said that he had work the next morning, so we decided to call it a day. I was heading towards the subway station when he said that he called an uber and could drop me off at my hotel. Obviously, warning bells went off, but I was so worried about disappointing him, even though I knew that I wouldn’t see him again anyway after that evening. I just didn’t know how to say no. I reluctantly got in the car with him and instantly regretted it. He moved closer, but when he saw that I was uncomfortable, he moved away. Thankfully. We had an awkward conversation, and the driver dropped me off at my hotel after 10 minutes. I was lucky. I knew it. But looking back at the encounter now, I do wonder what would have happened if I had reciprocated the interest. I mean, I was definitely was curious at the time, but mostly because I was inexperienced and a little desperate to be completely honest. But, I knew that I didn’t want my first kiss or first whatever to be with a stranger who I knew I would never see again since I was leaving the next day. I knew about the emotional confusion that it would cause. I also wasn’t prepared to go as far as I thought he wanted to go, so I didn’t want to give him any wrong impressions and assumed that it was just easier to not show any interest at all. From time to time I still wonder about him and how he’s doing and whether I’ll ever run into him again if I’m back in the city. 

-> Moral of the story: Learn to say no and to stop worrying about whether you’ll offend someone because you want to keep yourself safe. I should have never gotten into that car, and my friends always remind me of that every time I tell them that story. I also acknowledge that some people might not always have that choice, and we should never victim blame. 

For me in that situation, I had a mix of different emotions. Curiosity, attraction, anxiety. My friend told me that I should have told him what I felt at the time and what my boundaries were instead of shutting off. But at the same time, he should have been vocal to me too and voiced what he was thinking, instead of just moving closer in the closed space of an uber. Sketchy af. 

6. Fate (is a lie)

I like to believe in the idea of fate and soulmates. My mother always tells me how I was the product of fate and so a part of me feels entitled to a little bit of that magic too. 

But I got my wake-up call when I walked into a dive bar one Friday night and could have sworn that I saw my first crush from middle school sitting at a table in the centre of the room with a group of his friends. 

We made eye contact, but it was too dark to know for sure. I walked past the table to the bar and asked for a table for one. I sat in the corner and watched him and his friends, curiously.

No one just walks into a dive bar and suddenly decides that the first person you see when you walk through the door is someone you once knew from middle school. I was almost sure that it was him. Was he? 

I was in a city an hour away from where we went to middle school. What are the odds. Was it fate? Was it a coincidence? After 12 years of having never seen this kid, I run into him in a dive bar I’ve never been to before in a city I only go visit maybe once every 2 months. 

Out of all the kids I went to middle school with, I had to run into my first crush? Seems like a joke. What kind of message was the universe trying to send?

In the end, I finished my sangria, and left. He never took one look back at me. And I walked out knowing that I’d never see him again. What seemed like an impossible coincidence just ended up mounting to nothing. 

That’s when I learned that coincidences are just coincidences. There’s nothing more to them unless you decide to make something out of them. 

Concluding remarks:

Maybe y’all are smarter and more perceptive than I am and already knew about these things when you turned 18. But these are lessons that took me 6 years to learn and then some. And even at 24 and having a couple of serendipitous experiences under my belt, I’m still no closer to being the confident, mature, and level-headed adult that I think I should be. I still feel 18 with the unrealistic expectations and mentality embodied by someone that age. Hell, to be honest I’m not entirely sure I remember when it feels like to be an 18 year old anymore. I just feel like an inadequate 24 year old. I shouldn’t be insulting 18 year olds like this. 

[haknew]

ah, thank you for sharing them 🥺 yeah i agree with you, at first i was considering not getting it since i wasn’t really a huge stan at the time, like i liked hak from pd101, and i swore to support him after he didn’t make it to final lineup. then kevin was the most relatable guy ever and i loved seeing his vids too + his talent?? like bro can not only dance and sing and do stuff like other stars but is so good at art?? i love his style; for fonts i adore it! it’s not like i don’t have the money, not super rich or whatever but i have a good about of saving from allowances and those lovely envelopes when i met family at special occasions but i’d rather invest it somewhere much more useful to me (practically speaking!) as for cobie, at the time i pulled him i was neutral about every other tbz member so i was just happy getting anyone! but in reveal era i got invested into them a lot more, and since i bias him now too i’m satisfied i pulled him back then hehe the customised ones look so so pretty i can get why you’d love to have them somewhere you can see clearly! also that little letter for hak on his bday 💞 it’s so well done and even though i don’t vibe much with these kind of journals/edits i really, really love this one! i feel like you’ve got so much kevin lol it’s good to see you kept such good care of them all, and no problem if they’re not aesthetic photos, i asked and you delivered which is what matters! i loved reading your thoughts and thank you for reminding me that being a fan doesn’t = having countless albums and pcs! i myself am someone who can write a whole story’s length when talking to people about things i’m passionate for so you’re good haha thank you once again, it was really nice seeing what you have and what you have to say about it all! i hope you have more opportunities to collect some stuff in the future if you’d still be doing it, otherwise like you said, a hobby should remain a hobby and not transform into a chore! so if you’re going to stop then you’re still no less of a haknewkevtbz stan❣️hope you’re having/will have a splendid day!

my reply is so long again i’m so sorry lmao under the cut for everyone’s sake jkdhdkfj 

i get that ;;;; i think for the longest time i didn’t want to buy albums, and that’s perfectly fine ! it really depends on the person ! in a practical sense it might not be the best spending decision if you’re not going to use the album etc. ^^ i think i eventually ended up doing so bc for me ? at least i tie albums / songs to memories or feelings in my life so having a physical ? copy of it is kind of like a souvenir of that time ^^ a sort of memory keeper :p kinda cheesy of me but it’s also why i’m having issues when it comes to thinking about selling anything >.< but yea it was just to have smth and support my favs :] so i get it ! you’re super valid ! and yea >.< that’s fair too :o if you don’t have too many extra funds makes sense you’d want to spend it on stuff you reeeeeally really want / need ! (also special envelopes ? o.o like red envelopes ?) also yes yes hakkev deserve the world :’)) that worked out so nicely for you tho then :o ! very glad you got to pull your bias ^~^ deserve cobi best bb u.u he is very precious ! 

andddd yea :o i h8 the idea of my pcs just collecting dust in my binder hhh ;;; so i try my best to put some on display ! makes me happie to see ^^ and ahhhh ! that journal spread ! i have a lil aes ig account where i post pics and i made that spread for haknyeon day to post (and tbh ! i suck at journal spreads and that was my first legitimate one ? and i think it turned out okay so i was very happy with it) ! it’s just a short letter haha :p i have too many stationery things from impulse purchases so it’s good to use it for something fun like that ^u^ 

djfhskjfhg okay in my defense ... i think i’ve pulled ... 5 ?!? kevin pcs from my albums T^T WHICH IS CRAZY bc i bias the guy fgdskjfhg h8 it here (but not really i love him for that ...) yea in my no air albums i pulled his pc and film and in dreamlike i pulled his day pc and in my chase albums i pulled threeeee of his pcs </3 truly he is obsessed x.x jdkfdj no but ! i think it’s bc of that ;;;; and i actually believe i have one more hak pc than kev pcs ;;;; but idk haven’t counted them HAHA so yea ;;;; i got really lucky and kev l*ves me or smth ;;;;; they are v precious to me :D so yea i try my best to keep them safe ^^ there’s a lot of collectors on yt that make videos about the best way to keep pcs so i’ve seen a lot of those too :o !

but yea this turned out super long again i’m sorry T-T ! glad you enjoyed reading that mess tho ;-;/ thank you for doing so ! but yea my attitude towards stanning is just ;;;; everyone has their own styles if you don’t want to buy albums you don’t have to ! it doesn’t make you any less of a fan nor does it mean you love / support them any less ! it’s just you support them in your own way ! and so people who do spend a bunch of money to get everything ? they’re valid ! and people who don’t ? they’re also still valid ^~^ ! hobbies are just that so u.u and thenk you thenk you T-T ! i think i’m in essence done (minus one chanhee pc i want lol) so we’ll see what the future brings haha :p i hope you have a wonderful week too ! <3 

[calamariimpossible]

Magicians on the internet, crypto, and the email that broke me.

This is a continuation of a twitter thread that Muz (@mzkrx) started to write out in his car but then when he plotted out his thoughts, it made more sense to him to put it down in a blog format rather than a thread. You'll find out why as you read through.

Stuck in the car for half an hour so I'm gonna do a thread (Editor's note: Now a whole-ass blog post) about a strange email I got recently.

So I was casually watching magic tricks on YouTube. the funnest part of which to me is reading the comments. YouTube commenters love explaining how they think the trick is done and it's fun to read through their theories and connect dots between similar tricks, etc.

And then one time as I was scrolling I noticed a comment that didn't make sense. It was a string of an almost sentence. Intelligible enough to not be random words but odd enough to read like a trigger phrase for something.

The closest I can describe it as is like the string Zemo used to wake up the Winter Soldier, but with some syntax to it. Like "many thermos wiggle throughout exotic harbinger of circle ascending fuchsia entrapment".

Initially I thought nothing of it, but then I kept seeing them in these magic trick video comment sections. They're never the same string, and it's always under magic trick videos. from different channels even.

Hmmm.

The profiles that posted these comments are also always blank accounts with zero videos and no profile pic. Just their name. I felt like it was too much of a coincidence for these comments to only be under magic trick videos.

I also knew that the world of performance magic is thick with secrets. That is to say, there is deliberate obfuscation of information whenever you try to go online to find out how a trick works.

Magicians get together online and share information with each other just like performers of every other sort as well but the amount of code and doublespeak they use is an order of magnitude more annoying to decipher compared to say, an engineering message board or a gamedev forum.

Knowing that, I thought maybe this almost parsable gibberish I keep seeing everywhere was also some kind of code these people were using to talk to each other.

So I started investigating.

First things first, let's just Google one of the phrases. Maybe that's enough?

And it sorta was.

Pasting them onto the search bar lent me to only 1 result (wild!) and it was a website that looked really dank. Like geocities dank. Annoying neon colours and badly margined jpegs of tarot card images everywhere and a big bold header text that said something to the effect of:

"Congratulations, you've found our hidden message. This portal is only for those seeking knowledge beyond what is on the surface. Continue below."

* * *

I haven't been doing well. I feel like I say that too much. I say it on Patreon, on my personal podcast, whenever any of my friends ask me how I'm doing, pretty much everywhere. I feel very heavy. I understand I'm not the only one feeling like this during a pandemic.

Duh.

But I have this other version of worry that I can't quite articulate until right now: I'm scared I won't be funny anymore. Anwar and Farid can attest that even during our recordings I don't feel up to being funny. I question my jokes a lot. I barely enjoy telling them. I'm worried I'm letting everyone down.

To me, silliness and absurdism as virtues only make sense when the world has trace amounts of injustice and wrongness that training ourselves to see it in our everyday helps us remind ourselves of what is just and fair. The more we consume silliness, the more we are able to recognize silly and point it out. So we don't ignore it when things go wrong, so we talk about it, manage it. So we can take care of each other.

Maybe I can't be sure if we're all up for taking care of each other right now.

* * *

"Continue below" seems instructive, but it wasn't. Like I mentioned, the margins were haphazard and the CSS was all over the place. Some jpegs were straight up cropped off.

Meaning I can't be sure what "below" meant. But there were clickable images and text so I was readily intrigued.

It was tantalizing. Did I stumble into some secret order of Extremely Online Magicians? Maybe I'll finally find out why there aren't many female magicians out there. Maybe it's some sort of secret initiation to a secret message board full of secrety secrets. Secretly.

Y'all.

I didn't click on any of the linked images or anything. I closed the tab. That was the end of that.

An earlier version of myself would gladly run headlong into this rabbit hole to find out more and sink hours into some goddessforsaken labyrinth of links. But the current version of me recognizes this for what it almost certainly is: an abandoned roleplaying game.

Back in the early 00s when the internet was the realm of nerds and nerds only, it was full of people who loved sharing things for sharing's sake. It used to be punk rock to maintain a blog that only talked about snails or have a lo-fi YouTube channel that uploads biweekly 3-minute news about your house, or manage a little message board where people roleplay as wizards who rummage around the net looking for clues.

That last part was a thing I remember being actively involved in. In '03, a group of online friends and I wrote up a scavenger hunt of sorts where we sent people through various blog pages that we have where the goal is to just dick around and have fun. We wasted each other's time for sure. Hundreds of hours of it for literally no gain at all but for some laughs and fun memories.

The internet isn't like that anymore. People don't share something online for sharing anymore. Not really. There's this idea that if you put stuff out there, you want people's attention because numbers are good. You get a lotta reblogs and RTs and Likes which means people Like you.

If you don't have a lotta numbers, you don't matter. If you do, everyone has to talk about what you said or did because it's 'News' now.

Isn't that kinda gross, you think? That we need people to interact through an app to be sure that we're Liked? I say "we" but I mean me. I've successfully poisoned my brain to believe this to a certain extent too and it's not good.

I felt myself physically react when I closed that geocities magician website tab. I shuddered because my brain went from "this is cool" to "I gotta let people know I found this" to "this'll get me hella RTs" to "ew Muz why did you think that" within 3 seconds and I was disgusted with myself.

As a dude who started my online presence on YouTube and parlayed it into my real life comedy/writing career, I've believed for a long time that doing good work and putting it out there is what it takes for a working creative to make it because that's what I did. So there's this idea that making stuff and having it be seen is some kind of virtuous.

But it's not anymore. People pick fights with children for clout. Newspapers post about people's tweets as if its important. People are investing in crypto, a thing that literally only exists as electrical waste on a grand scale. We're boiling the oceans to yell at each other over nothing and exchange bits of code everyone agrees has ever-rising value but doesn't. Everyone is making and eating junk, it feels like.

So am I making junk? Have I just been making useless junk for literally over a decade now? Is that what I've been good for this entire time?

* * *

So the email.

It was a response from a company I applied to for a job. I applied as a creative writer and they're an advertising agency.

Receiving emails from a prospective employer when you're in need of a job is exciting! So soon after I applied, too. Wonderful. Here's what it said:

We just received your application today but would love to extend the opportunity for you to participate in the Case Competition as a prerequisite of your job application for Creative Writer position with [REDACTED] and stand a chance to be a winner for cash awards up to a total worth of RM1,800.

Yea.

They want me to enter a competition where I compete with other candidates to get a chance of being hired.

This company saw how many people applied for a job with them, and decided to dangle some cash and throw it over the fence to see which candidate will fight for it the most.

I didn't expect to feel vomitous after reading an email but that did it. I almost dry heaved. That's where we are now.

Recruiters see a glut of applicants and decided to play Fall Guys. These people watch Istana Takeshi and think Takeshi is the good guy. It hurts. It hurt me. That email caused me pain.

I can't at all empathise with recruiters who think this was okay to do. They really believed that creative writers will do a little dance for them just for money.

Look, I know we all need to eat. But I can also hate that people undervalue the work of creatives to this painful extent.

I don't give a shit about earning a lot of dough. I just wanna make things that tickle people. I want you to smile more.

That's the whole point of that weird little YouTube comment that led to the quirky website. That's the whole idea of making silly videos and dumb tweets and memes. We just want you to laugh.

But it seems people think so little of joy that they'll do whatever they can to avoid legitimately supporting and paying for stuff that gets them through the day. So much so that they want free work from us for the potential of maybe being able to get paid for more work. It breaks me, man.

I hate that I cannot make a living just trying my best to make people happy.

That's the best way I know to take care of you.

I know I don't just 'make junk' for a living. People have messaged me personally that my work has helped them get through tough times in school, in their relationships, at the office and I am eternally grateful that they took the time to tell me that.

I just also wish my feelings about my work aren't easily brought down by the majority of people who insist its worthless. Even if sometimes those people is me.

So forgive me if I won't be funny for a while. I'm gonna need some time to process this. Thank you for reading. I love you.

[flandesuka]

Yo you should answer all of these scene questions👀👀

:OOO

you think so lad???? shit dawg i was thinkin just a few at a time but if that what u want my dear nonnie i will supply

1. wats ur scene name?

i was thinkin maybe ‘gods mistake’ would be a good one but then. i found a way to make it both danganronpa related, and, even better, a fucking pun as well. ‘kamukura kamukura jasqueen’, or just ‘kamukura jasqueen’ for short is good k thxxx

2. describe ur dream outfit!

oooo gosh this ones trickyy!! there are so many good outfits out there, especially in the scene community!! but it’d have to have a few tiny elements of dr cosplay to add a lil of my dangan-weeb culture in there ofc! more specifically, id really love to get one of kazuichis jumpsuit and just wig out and add shit like this just because i could:

(id just rlly love going out in all those glowy/shiny things at night like all that haha..and yes the shoes would probably kill me/my fuckin feet if i tried to walk in them but shut up i love them theyre cute as fuck)

3. describe ur dream haircut!

oo another tricky one!! i do like my regular hair, and honestly id be lying if i said i didnt love ibuki’s hairdo too but id defs have to go with something like this!!

yaaaassss, so pretty and spikeeeey! maybe id dye my natural hair colour black and/or add some funky colours if i ever actually got this style down!

4. describe ur dream room!

i have a lot of ideas for dream bedrooms actually, but heres a visual image of one of them i found!!!

MIKU ROOM MIKU ROOM MIKU ROOM MIKU ROOM

(this specific idea arose mainly just for the aesthetic but i also find it super cute and a good environment to be in general hhhnnggg)

5. if u could make anything out of kandi, wat would u make?

oh you mean those colourful beads and bracelet things??? i love those man!!! theyre so visually appealing to me aaaaa…id probably just make a fuck-ton of those and most probably use the little letter beads to say random words/phrases like ‘aubergine’ and ‘despacito’ knowing my shitposter self lmaooo! id definitely make a sansmaeda themed one too thoo fr

6. wat would u write on ur shoez?

it’d probably range from things like a simple kaomoji doodle to something randum and stupid like ‘seesaw’ bc yes asjnd

7. wat kinda piercingz/tattooz do u hav/want?

i dont think i rlly want any real piercings (at least not atm) but id totally go for those fake stick-on gemstone lookin’ ones! and as for tattoos, i cant rlly see myself gettin one of those rn either, but id want something like a mario power-up, preferably the bell one/cat suit powerup!!! its my favorite powerup and its sooo cute!!!

8. fave genrez?

i dont rlly have a specific genre, i like most kinds of music, but i rlly like energetic music that i can dance tooo!!! >w

9. fave bandz?

im a big fan of gorillaz and botdf!!! i like p!atd as well but havent listened to it in a while.. gatta catch up loool

10. fave songz?

my favs alternate a lot, but atm im super into ‘slow dancing in the dark’ by joji!!! so much emotiooon quq…also rlly hooked on botdf and jefree star’s ‘sexting’ tooo lmaooo

11. fave lyricz?

‘The world keeps spinning Among this sinning Oh what a cruel and disgusting place The purest moonlight Is bloodied by plight And screaming resonants But somehow I know That it’s all for show The world will reveal it’s true beauty soon And we’ll all reach towards the moon ‘

its so deep but its from a fucking kaito momota fansong and i love that asnkjdnefe

12. hav u evr been to a concert?

not in a damn long while my lad,, rip australians not havin many artists they like from other countries tour there ;-;

13. do u wanna be in a band?

ive always thought thatd be pretty cool ngl!!! tourin around with ur bandmate friends, makin awesome fuckin tunes, people lovin u and ur music, just livin the dream in general,, nice

14. wats da best soda/energy drink flavour?

havent rlly had any as of rn  my lad so i wouldnt know :/

15. wat do u miss most abt old internet?

i loved that we could all just be ourselves and act like the kids we are inside without bein reprimanded at all.. it aint rlly that much of an issue for me but i still think itd be a lot nicer if it was like that again sometimes,,

16. wats da best old meme?

ooohhh there are so many i still miss man! numa numa ermagerd and doge still remind me of the glory days…when old animeme was good and you could still haz ur cheezburgers in peace. also rage comics! rage comics were good what happened

17. best place 2 buy clothez?

i dont think theres any hot topics in australia but if there is. i will hunt it down you hear me

18. wat r ur fave accessoriez?

OH THERES SO MANY GOOD ONES??? as i stated b4 i rly love kandi bracelets and other glowy/led things!!! also rlly love ties with cute and fun patterns and long colourful and/or ripped socks like ibuki’s too hehe

19. wats ur best tip fr ppl that just got into scenecore?

im not rlly the best at advice, but my main point would be-just hav fun here dudes!!! dont let anyone else bulli u abt it, we’re supportive people, u can talk to me or anyone else whos willin to listen an/or help for reassurance ofc

20. opinion on furbiez?

oOH MY GOD YES. FURBIES. MY BABIES I WANT 10 OF THESE CHILDREN…I ACTUALLY HAVE A FURBY HE LIKES SLEEPING IN HIS SPECIAL DRAWER AND HIS NAME IS TINGLE I ADORE HIM I’LL POST A OF PICTURE LATER MAYBE

21. opinion on funko popz?

i like em and ive seen lots at eb games, but i dont buy em much..i do have a megaman pop with a broken arm tho loool

22. wats ur fave pattern? (zebra/leopard print etc)

i looove a lot of patterns but not gonna lie im always a sucker for rainbow checkerboard patterns yknow hehe!

23. fave color combo?

i dont have one rlly…soooo many possible comboooos…cx

24. sumthing u liked as a kid dat u still like?

im still going on girlsgogames and recently, ive finally mastered sues beauty machine!!!! its so good and fun all of ya’ll should try it my dudeeees

25. wats ur most used emoticon? 0w0

as most of ya’ll probs alredy know i spam ‘:O’ a lot, but one of my bigger favs is actually ‘x3′ and my fav kaomoji is ‘ଘ(੭ˊ꒳​ˋ)੭✧’ (both of them are so kyooot >w

26. wats ur fav typin quirk?

i luv talkin like dis, but i dont rly do it that often loool…i awso wuv tawking in ‘owo’ speak wike dis >//w//>

27. do u wish ur fllwrz talked 2 u moar?

hellz yeaaa!!! i luv followr interaction my dudee! it makes me super happi when u all talk to me heehee! x3c

28. tag ur fave scene blawgz!

:O !!! oh gawd!!! i dont know many atm but heeereee!

@xxadam-antidotexx (op of the ask meme)

@glitchkichi (not sure if this counts but their stuff’s rlly cool >v

@otonashi-banana (scene boyf…wuv im more than anythin >///w///>

29. wat got u into scenecore?

i dont remember exactly how it happened but i’d always sorta wanted to go back to the glory days that was the old web and the scene era, and that, coupled with a bright, colourful aesthetic that i could really enjoy, drew me in like a moth to a neon colored flame ig looollll

30. how long hav u been scene?

i’ve only been officially apart of the community for about a few months now (at time of writing) i reckon so some things are still a lil new to me ig ^^;;

31. wats da best thing abt being scene?

the freedom of bein able to express myself 4 one thing, and its just so fun being so ‘out-there’ yknow???? it feels so great really

32. do u hav a fursona?

i…actually used to but ive moved on from the furry fandom and ive grown more attached to my human sona anyway sooo :/

33. r u in sum “cringy” fandomz?

YEA man!! i dont rlly think dr is inherently considered ‘cringey’ but undertale is and im in that one for sure!!! i also kinda technically never left the skylanders fandom(?) so theres that too ig??? oh yeah and who wants to let me draw my old moshi monsters characters COWARDS

34. do u liek plushiez?

YASSSS QUEEEN!!!! i have HEAPS of them in my room on my desk with my gonta shrine

35. do u liek stickerz?

also a big yaaassss from me dawggg!!! i love them and i love those ones that you stick on your fase like this!

its so cuuute!!!

36. do u hav a friendproject?

i dont, not at the moment a least, actually! didnt even know what it was til recently but it looks kewl haha

37. do u hav any other scene account?

well, i haz this one, and i also have an emowire account for shuichi if that counts!!

38. do u make art? (drawingz, blingeez, etc.)

YES!!! i love to draw and i also make blingee edits sometimes!!! ITS SO FUN XD !!!

39. wats da most scene thing? (anything!)

hmmm, weeell…i think the most stereotyped thing would be that kewl, suuuper big hair like this;

its really prettyyyy, and i love all that colouuur!!!

40. ask ur own randum question!!

hm, oh wowie, since the anon didnt specifically ask this one…POTATOES!!! X3

phew, finally done, that was a lot of typing! this was so fun to do though, so thank u nonnie!!! :3