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#stupid fucking shit i just cant stop thinking about and it just makes me feel fucking bad
ghostcrows · 20 days
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me praying to get any kind of IT job and now just being so embarrassed that it happened because I DONT FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING? like you'd seriously think i would but i dont know a goddamn thing. a coworker watched me struggle to turn back on a monitor that went into sleep mode today. i couldnt find the fucking button on it. like i want to kill myself over that and i wish i was being funny but im being hilarious. they watch me fumble putting in my password on these 2000 goddamn websites i have to have accounts for for some reason AND they put me on the phone to squeak mousily at angry people who are calling for higher stakes problems than the library (but that part wasnt that bad bc most of them i got to just transfer the call)....i just want to SCREAM. i just want to scream because of the enormity of my incompetence. but its not even that serious. but it is. it is
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toytulini · 6 months
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god I know this is like The Wrong Stance on AI. I know its not about whether the art is Real and Human or If It Has A Soul and how a lot of the arguments against it are the same bullshit arguments people made against digital art like I Know. I Knowwww. but god, I'm really sorry, not to post like one of those annoying poetry bloggers I cant stand (yall are valid, live your truth, theres nothing wrong with what you post I'm just a petty bitch who hates poetry. unless I dont hate it.)
But theres just something about the way AI art will almost certainly never be able to mimic the exact way my pencil leaves an indentation in the paper, the way some of the lines I can never fully erase cause I pressed too hard, theyll have to at least train them to draw with a physical pencil first, and sure, they could train it to draw with a pencil and even erase the exact same piece I drew, line for line, on a piece of paper with a robot arm powered by AI, but they can't replicate. idk. the lineage of lefty bitches in my family, and the way I grew up going through school with my entire left arm silver with graphite, from doodling on my schoolwork. not yet anyway. but I guess I do live for the day we make the ai sentient enough that we can traumatize it by giving it homework after kneecapping its executive functions so it copes by drawing a big tiddy lobster monster. sure
#toy txt post#reblogs OFF i dont trust yall to be normal with this one i do NOT want it getting notes#i posted part of this before in a chat to a friend but im feeling it again. so#i havent drawn my big tiddy lobster bitch in awhile i should draw her again#also yea SORRY im sure this is The Wrong Feeling To Have About AI but also sometimes im a little grateful that i dont think my style is#smth a lot of the ppl coding ai to make art find to be worth trying to replicate except maybe as like a fake progress shot on a piece#which is smth i used to be really insecure about. how unfinished all my art looks bc it isnt to the point i cant fucking watch#like speedpaints and shit bc i just start feeling stupidly insecure about all the points in the video where I Would Have Stopped and been#like. im not touching it anymore i dont want to ruin it#and ive been insecure about my inability to really do digital art with like a stylus and shit like the way i do it with a pencil#and i know that is just me needing to Practice it but being too frustrated by it#anyway i know its just a Tool and its Fine and the problem is the art theft and the labor problems of it but liiiiiiike#i just.#im sure there will be unique things and usages of ai as a tool and i genuinely hope that ppl can figure out a way to make one that isnr#isnt* just full of stolen content bc theres unique fuckin shit about like digital art programs u can write stupid poetry that you hate#about it. or stupid poetry that i hate. cos im the poetry hater. listen. i cant stress this enough: its fine. youre fine. keep posting your#poetry and reblogging shit that speaks to you. im just a Bitch okay Ignore Me#i should go draw bokrae like. eating a computer about this#the real reason for that graphics card shortage was bokrae ate them all when she was in the mood for a crunchy snack
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cavity-collector · 1 month
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i genuinely need to be put down like a dog i cant do this anymore man holy shit
#yall dont know the meaning of terminally online til u meet me#i hate myself so much its not even funny i am the most miserable worthless scum#my sleep schedule is 7am to 3pm all i do all day is rot on the couch and sometimes draw if i have a drop of motivation#depression is completely kicking my ass and im not even fighting back i give up what the fuck man#theres not even a point for me to keep trying i just want to stop feeling such deep despair 24/7 please#i dont want to die i just want the pain to stop so i can peacefullylive out the rest of this year before i turn 18 and its all over for good#but i cant even have that! im just gonna suffer the whole time thanks great#i wish i could just get better and fix all of this but i cant its not working we dont have the money to#actually get me the help i need to make it work. i just have to figure it out or die#i just wanna go back to ***** ** *** i just want to stop being lonely and useless#i dont know why im posting this shit to tumblr. its so stupid i should just be journaling or something#probably because im worthless selfish scum. idfk.#the last 6 months have been a complete blur. just rotting on the couch or in bed occasionally seeing friends once every other month or so#ive already wasted half of being 17 abd im probably gonna waste the rest too. ill do nothing of worth before i die.#even my art is ugly and horrible and not worth leaving behind. people tell me to work to improve it but i dont have the time left#ill never create any of the things i wanted to create ill never be a good artist im just going to die exactly like this#an absolutely terrible person.#the only people i can talk about the things that make me a terrible person with are people who are terrible in even worse ways#no one can comfort me except them because theyre the only people who know what ive done and actually do see it as less than absolute evil#because they know absolute evil because it is them. but i actually don’t believe that i think theyre bad but could be good#idk what im saying anymore#someone shoot me#please im not kidding#just make it stop#tw vent#tw sui#delete later
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puzzlekinq · 6 months
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cant sleep because im seething with anger
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#been laying here for like 40 minutes fantasizing about finally snapping and telling my mom everything i really think and feel#if i ever came out to her she would end up cutting me off like she did to my aunts and uncles and cousins#basically im alone and my parents and siblings are the only family i can be in contact with right now and its isolating#off topic but yeah#i miss having a big family and people besides my parents that i could rely on. people i felt like i could actually breathe around#idk. whatever#why do i feel responsible for her actions all the time. its been my job to keep her stable and listen to her vent for years#but i never say anything about my own feelings. because she would make me feel stupid and ridicule me. lol#all she does is make me feel like shit most of the time. shes always in a bad mood and shes always whining and always pessimistic#and yeah i get along with her for the most part but lately her attitude has been weighing on me a lot. i cant criticize or disagree with her#because she'll just get mad. shes always been an angry person. thats why i hardly spoke to her from ages 10-15#maybe i jsut wanted to give her another chance. maybe i felt sympathy for her. shes had it rough her whole life#but when shes still bitter no matter how many times i comfort her and let her vent and cry to me and when she chooses her husband over me#every single time he fucks up (which is like. constantly) and always takes his side when they inevitably make up after a huge fight#it feels like i'll never be able to make her happy. it feels like i should stop trying. if she wants to be full of hatred#and have a shitty husband then fine. i cant fix her like and i cant hold the weight of her mistakes#*life
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strwbrymlkshake · 2 years
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Why can't I be satisfied with everything? It needs to be perfect to me and I can't accept anything otherwise :(
#mine#oh boy here we go. guy last post was about has been pretty cool and i got flustered around him a few times#but i feel bad bc. i need m o r e he isnt insane enough he isnt making me go absolutely crazy i want to be satisfied but im NOT im sorry#like its quite honestly the most attention acceptance etc ive gotten but its not ENOUGH he doesnt die whenever i send a selfie#im never satisfied WHY i have unrealistic expectations !!!! i hate my brain killing and violence and death etc#i get crushes on guys who want nothing to do with me but then when one actually wants me its not enough? what is wrong with me#thrill of the chase? i cant accept being loved? what is it brain. christ almighty. im not doing anything like deliberately yandere related#anymore im just being generally incomprehensibly mentally ill 🙄 still trying to find a therapist but idk how on earth ill explain that#ill update this post tomorrow with more insanity but for now i am the sleepy tired#// ok its now 3 days later i dont feel like making another post. i think i was just having a mental illness moment as always#because he does make me insane. hashtag girl. im trying to be the smartest and calculated i have ever been with a relationship in my life#like im thinkin about it so hard bro. the future n shit. how would this relationship go. im so scared ill do something wrong its preventing#me from doing things RIGHT. im sad becaude i flipped out today over even imagining him being upset with me a little#so i was really embarrassed and it put me in a weird mood for the rest of the night but he reassured me he doesnt hate me or want me to die#every one aaalways says theyre different. i can only hope this one is telling the truth. i dont know what ill do if he isnt.#well i need to stop whining about fictional scenarios and focus on the good stuff in reality. i get along with him very well and he#is very niceys to me :3 he doesnt think im fucking insane or stupid for overreacting. i feel very comfortable gossiping and talking w him#every long time blog viewer of mine reading this like ah shit here we go again#but thats what im here for. i guess. just have to keep doing this shit until something good finally happens to me romantically hngh#i feel so strange because i have wanted and yearned for a relationship but now that i actually could have one im like WAIT#I DIDNT THINK ID GET THIS FAR 💀💀💀 bruh. and he doesnt even think im stupid hes respectful to me he checks in on me all the time#like perhaps the only person to ever actually almost match my energy in a romantic sense. there was [redacted] i guess but he didnt love me#he listens to me talk about my problems he doesnt think i complain or overreact too much. all the ridiculous cringe shit i do#he doesnt mind it. its nice to be able to be myself. and im really proud of myself for not rushing into a relationship right away
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depresseddepot · 2 years
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the way i try so SO hard to gain even a crumb of body neutrality only to then see some shit on twitter that remind me that oh yeah. a distinct portion of the population genuinely believes they are being discriminated against when they have to look at or be within 50 feet of a fat person
#the amount of times ive heard my skinny friends call themselves fat and disgusting to my face without considering the implications#i saw some tweet that just like. had a fat person in the video and ALL of the responses were men making fun of her#like. yes i realize my life would be so much better if i was born with a faster metabolism. thank you for reminding me#yes i realize i am not treated seriously because i am fat#that sort of incredulous look skinny people give you when you have the audacity to sit near them on the bus or ask for directions#like they're shocked you weren't some round thing that was in their sights for 2 seconds to make fun but disappeared#i am trying very hard not to let it get to me but when so many people seem to think the same thing it feels stupid#likei know i dont see people the way allosexuals do but are fat people really so disgusting that they feel like they can say shit like that#its so so frustrating#if i am going to die alone because of my own failings i can learn to accept that#but if i die alone because i can't find anybody that doesn't think fat people are worthless then what is the fucking point lmao#''people irl dont actually think that'' i cant count on 1 hand the amount of skinny people who have lamented about their weight to my face#someone brings in cookies to work and as im eating one someone skinny says ''well. i really don't need the extra calories so ill pass''#someone skinny checking out diet/exercise books because they ''REALLY have to lose some weight''#no they aren't talking about me/to me but how detached from your surroundings do you have to be to shit on yourself for your weight#like. even if i was skinny they're still talking about how gross and ugly they are around kids#''love your body and your self!!!1!!1'' okay then stop calling yourself disgusting regardless of how much you weigh.#you can think if if you want but god that 12 year old girl in line behind you is going to remember that forever#she is going to internalize ''oh okay. thats what a disgusting body looks like''#andthen she'll grow up and hate herself and continue the fucking cycle#just stop. stop talking about your weight around kids. i dont need 60 yo women telling me they're gross when they weigh maybe 150 lbs#i know this is super unhealthy but i literally cannot wait until i can move out and isolate myself from society#because every second i try to engage with it is literal torture#yall are so mean for no reason#i dont really have much to live for#but it would be helpful if skinny people didn't constantly reiterate that there's no point to living if you aren't skinny#im so tired#vent
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the-gayest-sky-kid · 11 months
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my brother keeps being a bitch on purpose and it's really not helping
#my therapist says hes probably doing to feel better about himself and it's like. fuckin hell dude#because like. look im not saying i dont poke fun at him either right#but i like go think i dont go below the belt in terms of shit???#like i love him im not going to call him genuinely stupid or ugly or anything.#hes good at math and pretty capable. even if he incinerated mac n cheese once and we had to get a new microwave#but he keeps going up to me like (aether) whats a×b? oh how do you not know that instantly? are you stupid?#its because (extremely personal issue) LOL (deep cutting personal issue again)#and its like look ive never been good at mental math stop being a fucking jerk over me not knowing fuckin 9×7 off the top of my head#and i keep telling him to drop it and shut up but its just spurs him on more because its funny to him#and he keeps bringing up other shit like being queer or being trans specifically because he knows its upsetting and its just fucking funny#he loves to say people with weird pronouns and think there's more than two genders should kill themselves because he knows it makes me angr#with him. and he knows im fucking queer. he knows our grandmothers queer. and he still pulls this shit#and i cant say anything because when i do i get a whole lecture about how hes my flesh and blood and i should treat him like such#and im the asshole for suggesting he act like it for once#i love my brother and im proud of his achievements but i cant keep fucking doing this#and i know its my fault because hes a stupid kid and going through typical middle school boy bullshit#and seriously getting hurt by whatever a middle schooler says is downright pathetic#but it fucking hurts to hear someone you held as a baby and defended say people like you should kill themselves#and it hurts to have them fucking push a topic that upsets you for their own amusement#swearing cw#aethers rants#cw vent#personal posts and stuff idk
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dreamcast-official · 2 years
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mmmmmmm
#vent in tags i am not doing so hot rn lads#why do i always get the feeling that the people i care the most about fucking hate me#like i know thats not true objectively bc if they hated me they could just block me. like they wouldnt talk to me if they hated me#idk its less. hated. and more. they dont care abt me as much as they do abt other people#WHICH IS SOMETHING STUPID TO THKNK ABT BC WHY DOES IT MATTER#BUT IT HURTS AND I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE AGAIN AND I CANT HANDLE THE THOUGHT OF IT#AND THIS SHIT ALWAYS GETS TRIGGERED BY THE DUMBEST POSSIBLE THING#LIKE THEM REBLOGGING SMTHN FROM SOMEONE ELSE INSTEAD OF ME FOR EXAMPLE#LIKE THAT DOESNR FUCKJNT MEAN ANYTHING BUT IT MANAGES TO MAKE ME FEEL SO UPSEY#AND ITS OBVIOUSLY NOT THEIR FUCKING FAULT THAT IM BEING IRRATIONAL BUT IT HURTS#AND I ALWAYS. ALWAYS CYCLE BACK TO FEELING LIKE IM GONNA BE ALONE AGAIN.#AND THEN I FEEL LIKE SHIT FOR THINKING ABOUT THEM LIKE THAT BC I KNOW ITS NOT TRUE#I KNOW THEY CARE ABT ME. I KNOW THEYRE NOT LIKE THE SHIT PEOPLE I HAD IN MY LIFE BEFORE#I KNOW THEY WOULDNT JUST SUDDENLY STOP CARING ABT ME OR START HATING ME#AND I ESPECIALLY KNOW THAT A FUCKING POST THAT THEY RBED FROM SOMEONE WHO WASNT ME DOESNT MEAN#THAT THEY SUDDENLY DISLIKE ME#BUT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT#I HATE FEELING LIKE THIS I WISH I COILD JUST HAVE FRIENDS NORMALLY#BUT NO I HAVE TO BE A FREAK WHO OBSESSES OVER EVERY INTERACTION HE HAS#BC HE CANT HANDLE THAT HIS FRIENDS ACTUALLY LIKE HIM#AND ALWAYS THINKS THERES GONNA BE A GOTCHA MOMENT WHERE IT WAS ALL A TRICK ALL ALONG#BUT MY FRIENDS NOW ARE GOOD PEOPLE#THEYRE NOT THE SHIT PEOPLE I USED TO BE FRIENDS WITH THEYRE GOOD#THEYRE GOOD FRIENDS WHO CARE ABT ME BUT I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE IM GONNA BE ALONE AGAIN#AND I CANT HANDLE IT#ITS ALWAYS LIKE THIS. EVERYTIME I MAKE A FRIEND#EVERYTIME I CARE FOR SOMEONE. I END UP THINLING THEY LIKE SOMEONE ELSE BETTER THAN ME#AND THAT EVENTUALLY THEYRE GONNA CHOOSE RHAY PERSON OVER ME#EVEN THO I KMOW THEURE MOT THE KOND OF PERSON TO DO THAY#GOD!!!!!!!!
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fuckthisshxt · 2 months
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Why? Why the tears? That's one damn thing thats actually visible to others when it happens and I can't deny it.
Any time I see something about ghosts or (damnit I know there's been at least one or two other subjects but I can't remember atm I'll edit this later if I remember) tears start falling. Like I'm not sobbing or actively crying at all, I personally don't even feel sad or scared but tears will be falling from my eyes like someone turned on a faucet and it feels stupid to admit to but it's like part of me knows that during those times a tiny part of me is like terrified? Even though every time this has happened that I can remember I always felt perfectly fine and knew I was safe and that what I was watchin was just a show but idk this problem has been happening for at least a decade now
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toytulini · 1 month
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its clean its fucking clean i cleaned it
#toy pic post#undescribed#40gal#then dad dismissed how much fucking effort it took whether intentionally or not and i got so angry cos i already was having to#outsource reward chemicals or whatever the fuck to chocolate covered pretzels and a soda#and i was so overwhelmed from exhaustion and overstimulated to be fucking graciously regulating my emotional responses to him saying#Stupid Shit that i just got so angry i had to sleep#but i was. really determined. to manuafacture some kinda fucking reward. so i played viddygame until i fell asleep#bc that seemed like it would be better for my brain than straight up rage napping#anyway. i will. attempt the 90gal tomorrow. todayrrow. im going to. get up and get a snack and then brush my teeth and go to bed for real#bc i just cant stop fucking Horse Sleeping. i guess#so close#still much to do. i have to do the 90 and put the plants back on top of the 40 but its already so much quieter in here#which is good for me not being driven insane by. the sound of my failure to do a task.#shit i still need to dose fertilizer as well. i will try to do that before i go back to sleep#but i was too fucking angry to be thinking about Ratios of Liquid without exploding so its good i didnt attempt it earlier probably#anyway.POSTIVES: ITS CLEAN. I CAN SEE IN THE TANK AGAIN. THE PLANTS I SHOVED IN THE TOP ARE GROWING CRAZY#EVEN IF THEYRE A BIT UGLY AND LEGGY. I DIDNT FIND ANY DEAD FISH. THE KUHLIS CONSTANTLY SWIMMING UNDER THE ALGAE SCRUBBER#WAS A LITTLE ANNOYING AND INCONVENIENT BUT ALSO. CUTE AND ENDEARING. I LOVE THE STUPID NOODLE ANIMALS#i got a lot done today even if it wasnt all i wanted and many of the tasks were tiny. it got the big fucking task done that was hanging ove#over my head for weeks and making me feel intensely guilty. and now its so QUIET. like the 90 is still loud sure! but its just One of them#now!#the fucking palpable relief
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smolsaltypan · 3 months
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#mmmm sometimes i understand why my mom was suicidal after 26 years with this asshole i would be too#just out of fucking nowhere tonight he's ranting at me about every fucking thing under the sun in any way that could make me feel bad#oh youre on your period? you were actively fighting off a seizure bc you were worried about your brother who never had tremors and was#seizing all day? well i had to watch him!#lazy bitch you didnt cook or feed me 🤬 sir you had cereal bc thats what you asked for#and no i didnt cook fuck off#oh we dont have a new fridge or mattress? thats because when i tried to get you out to go you said nah another day#fuck right off he's fully looking for reasons to fight and be mean to me#i might cry alone in my room but all he'll achieve is putting himself in the hospital with his anger#im glad my mom is free from this#wish i could be but i dont want to have to fucking die to not have to deal with this#i just want a dad who can act like an adult#not throw a tantrum and abuse me after an already stressful day#so what if i had fun going to a kbbq restauraunt after my doctor's appt without him. i was with cousins.#cant do shit withiut him pitching a fit#hes also salty bc i wont let him go to my doctor's appointments with me#im 23 almost 24 and literally paid to be your caregiver what fuckjng makes you think i want you there#if i wanted moral support i wouldnt have been going to doctors alone since it was legal#caught myself thinking uh. about wanting to be dead while he ranted at me for 20mins#this all started bc i havent boight the dogs flea meds yet. its not even time to give it to them. but i walked past him to piss and said#stop bringing it up dont bitch at me day after day after day about stupid small shit im gonna get done anyway#and he took that as a challenge
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philosophicallie · 9 months
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also being short in the western world is fucking humiliating and not even in a compare your appearance way. its the fucking constant lack of fitting clothing because your proportions are so fucking short because you total up to fucking FIFTY FIVE!!!! 55 inches ONLY
small sized clothing will usually still have 4-5 excess inches for fucking standardization IM NOT THE STANDARD IM A STUPID SHORT ASIAN IMMIGRANT JUST LET ME HAVE SMALLER CLOTHES WITH SOME FUCKING DIGNITY
#this is a very personal problem and i wish i could complain more but i dont have theq energy and all i have are tears#but like i already live thru the embarrassment of asking for help constantly and using stupid ass ladders#cant i at least fucking have some actual short people pants please. please. i have to geqt shit tailored or start doing mods myself but#I SHOULDNT HAVE TO ITS 2023#i literally want to die tonight so i can stop being a burden on my bfs bc i can feel it i can feel how taxing i am and i know i shouldnt be#thinking this but like. i cant stop. i make it hard to be my friend i make it scary to be nice to me all i wnt to do is attack bc im hurtin#but thats not. gonna make me feel better in any way but thats not gonna stop the constsnt impulse in there to just start screaming#and its worse knowing thwt no matter what route is taken ill still get angry. or maybe i just want them to be angry about me already so i#have an excuse to get wngry back and idk. feel catharsis through that or something#idk. i hate my stupid brain and i hate my stupid ex for making me hate it more#im so angry and i have no one who is comfortable enough to deal with that so instead ill sleep earlu @#idk i hate differences they make me fixated on all the ways i can get angry about it so idk how to deal w that#i have so much to compare + i cant say it bc if i do then theyll be conscious abt it/theyll know its smth that just adds .1% to anger meter#ugh i think were hoing to moms this Christmas and while thsts nice i dont. have the emotional capacity to confide in her#i only want my mom. but i cant tell her any of this bc theres nothing that she csn even do#other than just throw money at me for support#i hate this#original#vent
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insanechayne · 1 year
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~ ~ ~
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anytim3youwant · 2 years
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venting sorry guys. all in tags
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hon3y-y · 8 months
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your choso has rewired my brain...literally cant stop thinking about popular reader who has a new bf every week x virgin nerd choso who despite his inexperience has every intention to leave you dumb on the end of his cock. He even lets you slap his books down and talk shit about him with your little girlfriends in public, but behind closed doors you're the one crying and begging him hdjsjs definition of 'send her back to her bf w my handprint on her ass' aaaaa and if its a love story, it turns out chosos had the fattest crush on her bc he knows shes actually a sweetie at heart but loves her toxic side too and gives her the best dick until she stops playing around like THE REVERSAL 😭 he would be so sweet in his own way and so loyal and a fucking dog to her lowkey but covers it up with mean words and pussy slaps 🥺
Nerd!choso has a special place in my pants heart😵‍💫
Cw; nastyy smut, filming, infidelity(👀), choso is a little pervy but that’s why we love him🫶, talks of bodily fluids, reader is a lil mean
Enjoy<3
After the first time you fucked, he was extremely a little mad about you dating someone the next day (especially since it was his first time and you knew that) but quickly forgot about it once he had his head between your legs later that night, your mouth babbling nonsense when he sucked a little too hard.
He would purposefully leave hickies on your chest and thighs, smiling cheekily as he watched your shakey legs try to dress yourself. “Don’t look at me that way," you mumbled, your usual attitude gone and replaced with shyness under his intense gaze. Yeah, he didn’t have to worry.
Choso let's you get away with everything. the laughing, the pushing, and the taunts about how “small” he probably is from your friends (to which he nearly smirks when you stiffen slightly). He goes along with all of it and even watches you tongue-fuck your stupid boyfriend, who’s likely one hard hit to the head away from permanent brain damage. But he can’t stay mad; you look so cute trying to be tough. Eyebrows furrowed and a little hiss in your tone, knowing that the moment everyone disappears, you’re nothing but a sobbing mess, begging for him to touch you.
You’re in his room later, bent into a mating press, gasping for air as his cock clumsily batters your g-spot. “Yes—fuck, cho! "Your skin feels so hot, and your mind is so numb. Choso is nearly just as loud, already cumming two times, but watching you made it impossible to pull out. A sticky mess of both your fluids caused gooey strings to form whenever he moved away, the erotic sight making him pull out and reach for his phone. “W-what are you—"
You tried to sit up when the light of a camera flashed in your eyes, making you gasp before he tilted it down, focusing on your pussy. “Look at how wet she is.” He reaches out to touch, making your hips jerk in sensitivity. He plays with your wetness, making your cheeks hot, showing off the substance to the camera before placing his finger on your hole to tap at the new cream that seeped out.
You went to pull your legs closed. "E-enough, Choso." You sent him a glare, making him laugh before leaning down to kiss your cunt. He pointed the camera up to catch your shocked face, and you glanced at it again. “Why are you filming this? I never said—"
You squeal as he nips your clit, immediately shutting up but sending him a harsh glare. He kisses your thigh at your compliance. “Do you really not want me to?” He stared up at you, putting little pecks on your bud, making your breath hitch. You shook your head, ‘no’, “fuck, I don’t care, just make me cum,” you whine, pushing his head down. You jolt up, your eyes widening, when you feel the stinging slap on your pussy.
You’re about to speak when he does it again and again, each hit harder than the previous one, a yelp of surprise escaping you as he forces the light in your eyes again, making you squint. “You’re such a slut, it’s almost pathetic." His harsh words make you pout, mumbling about how mean he is. “I’m mean? Tell the camera why you came here.” You bite your lip, looking away, causing him to grab your chin and force you to look. “I’m not asking.”
It feels humiliating: “He couldn’t make me cum.” Your voice is quiet, but you could practically feel the cocky smile on Choso's face. “Who’s he?” You want to die, shaking your head. He rolled his eyes, tapping on your cheek to signal you to talk. With a sigh, you repeat yourself, “My boyfriend couldn’t make me cum.” Choso mockingly coos behind the camera, his thumb going to rub your swollen bud. “And how many times have you cum since getting here?”
He pans the camera back and forth between your needy pussy and pretty face, your sweaty skin glistening under the intense lighting making his cock impossibly harder. You look so delicate, just helplessly taking the pleasure he gives you because your body needs him so bad. Tears gather in your waterline whenever he applies more pressure, eyes zeroing in on the slick that starts to drip down your ass.
You can’t answer, your jaw hanging open when he quickened his pace. Your chest is heaving as you chanted out ‘please!’ hips thrusting up to meet him until you quickly cum with a shutter, choso slowing but not stopping as you relax again. You look up to the camera with a tired smile, holding up your hands to signal four, your eyes could barely remain open, head flopping back into the pillow. your eyes are getting heavy, nearly having you succumb to sleep when you feel his tip align with your cunt. “Flip over, slut.”
He forces you to film yourself as he pounds into you from behind, crying when he leans down to tug at your sore nipples. He forces your back to arch more, pathetically taking his cock into your swollen pussy. If you drop the camera, he’ll wait until you pick it up again. Or, he’ll snatch it from your hand to catch you desperately rutting against him, begging him to let you cum and “fuck you right." He does just that, leaving you with a fried brain and a puddle of your own drool, tears, and juices from how intensely he made you squirt.
Honestly, he’s so horny and has so much stamina he’ll just keep going until he’s shooting blanks, making sure to point the camera at the cum that leaks out of your puffy cunt, spreading your lips so it can closely get your gaping hole. Of course, after he’s had his fun, he’ll gently take care of you. You’re practically sleeping already, barely being able to speak as he nods along to your near incoherent praise, “S'good t’me. Luv you so much."He smiles, a giddy feeling in his tummy, as he holds a water bottle to your lips, which you gulp down quickly, not realizing how dehydrated you really were. He tucks you in, cuddling as you grip onto him tightly.
It’s not long after that you stop seeing the guy you were with, or any for that matter (at least, according to your friends' knowledge). When they ask what happened, you just shrug, making up some excuse, trying not to stutter as the vibrations in your panties speed up. Choso watches closely, smiling happily as you try to discreetly roll your hips<3
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A/n: I need him so bad it’s getting to me. Also, send request bc writers block is a btch. Mwah💋
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valsdelulucorner · 1 month
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obey me headcannons because why not
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Lucifer is so strict with his brothers because he doesn't want what happened to Lilith to happen to them, he cant bare to loose another sibling. His back is also extremely fucked over from his massive workload and from when he lost afew of his wings, his wing bones were connected to his spine so when he lost those, his back has never truly been the same.
Mammon is actually alot smarter then people think, this man is a absolute legend at counting, multiplying and maths. He may be dense and stupid at times but the mans a legend at math, i like the idea that if your studying with him he helps you out with maths, feeling smug and proud when he helps you get answers right. I also like the idea that he has many piercing holes but is just not bothered to more then two in at a time, if its a fancy event or if its a club event, he'll put more in
Levi is either scrawny or has some chub, you cannot change my mind. The only exercise he gets is chasing mammon around or running around for events. That man survives off of energy drinks and sugary foods, i cant seeing him having full blown rock hard abs, maybe some, but not rock hard abs like beel. I also like the headcannon that he has scales around his neck, cheeks and forehead, another reason he has his fringe covering his eyes.
Satan has alot of scars and scratches on his hands from punching walls, attempting to pet wild kitties and from other things to get his anger out. I feel like when Asmo come in to redo Satan's nails, he draws over the little scars with pen, making them into little flowers or hearts
Asmo has dry skin around his nose from how much moisture he normally has on his face thanks to face masks, skin care and make up. The buildup of all of the produce and the fact there is almost always something on his face has left his skin a little dry to his liking so he adds more product to fix it. I also love thinking about how asmo probably has some faint freckles over his shoulders and nose but he normally hides them, he doesn't want to be seen as anything but perfect.
Beel is not a child so people should stop treating him like one, he has sworn, he has killed and eaten people before, he is a 1000+ year old demon who has seen some shit go down, people should stop infantizing him. Beel has stretch marks around his torso and arms, from constantly working out to eating half of devildom, i feel like his body changes rapidly due to his diet and his working out. He also has matching bracelets with Belphie, his one has a charm of the sun.
Belphie is either dead quite or the loudest snorer, there is no in-between. He could probably be so quite that his brothers loose him for a good day or two, when they think they've checked everywhere belphie starts snoring, leading them straight to him. He also sleeps in the most random spots aswell, next to the potted plant, standing in the middle of the corridor, behind the door, you name it. When this man is tired and done for the day, he will find a way to sleep.
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5th time saying im back but its been a busy week, exams have been kicking my ass rn, not to mention I have a biology exam tomorrow morning so yay, fun times
I havent done this in a while, im starting to get back into the groove of things lol
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