#suppose it helps remind us we're human?

[atonalginger]

@a-cosmic-elf, I saw that post you tagged me in and blocked the person you reblogged, forgetting it would disappear the post so I'll say what I was going to ramble in the tags here:

I stared at that post in 'has completed a 81k+ slow burn romance novel and has several more stories going, two starring a minor npc, and drawn numerous pieces of art that took me ~4 hours on average to finish inspired by this game, its characters, and world'. My blog has seen more activity and traction since I started playing Starfield than the past 5 flipping years and I broke through both my writers and art block because of this game. I actually put myself out there and have met wonderful people I would not have met otherwise because of my love for this game. But my blog/I don't exist xD

It's fine if people don't like Starfield. Just like its fine that people didn't like Saint's Row (2022), another game that knocked me out of an art and writing slump, funnily enough. Not every piece of media is going to click with with everyone. That's fine. But we don't need to crap on the media that doesn't click with us. It's not needed.

Like I don't enjoy horror movies. So I don't watch them. I also don't go tagging the fandoms telling them how bad they are and how they are this or that because...it's not productive. I could use that energy on something fulfilling and fun that I /do/ enjoy.

*shrugs*

Anyway I'm going to go back to writing the scene I was working on in my Ranger!Delgado au since my mind won't let me sleep.

[leebrontide]

Every single time I see a take that amounts to "if you write about X happening, or like fiction where X happens, you like X" I'm reminded of this one time I was at a casual friends house as a young kid. We were in her room, pretending to "be orphans" escaping from an evil orphanage and having to take care of each other and fend for ourselves. It was all very Little Orphan Annie/All Dogs Go to Heaven and based on the 80s pop media.

And this girl's mom comes in, hears what we're playing and gets all MAD and UPSET. She says that if we play act something, it's because we want it to happen. So her daughter must WANT HER TO DIE.

First off lady, we were 6 year year olds, so take it down several notches. We barely had a concept of mortality for fucks sake. She made us feel so guilty and ashamed, because she was taking our game personally.

Now I have a 5 year old. And sometimes she looks at me and says "pretend you're dead, and I have to -" Whatever it is. Some adult task she's assigned herself.

And it's just so transparently obvious that she's practicing the idea of having to do things on her own. Which is exactly what 5 year olds are supposed to do. I actually find it very flattering that the only way she can envision me not being available to help her is to be literally deceased. Otherwise, obviously, she wouldn't have to do scary hard things alone.

It's a natural coping mechanism. She's self-soothing about what would happen if I wasn't there by play-acting independence in a perfectly safe environment. She's also practicing skills she needs, and making up excuses for practicing them on her own, without taking on the responsibility of being able to do them by herself all the time yet.

Humans mentally rehearse bad this in their brains all the time. We can do that by ruminating- going over worries over and over again, which tends to lead to anxiety and helplessness and depression. Or we can do it with a sense of play- by recognizing that the fiction is fiction and we can dip our toe into these experiences and expose ourselves to bad things without actually being injured.

My daughter does not want me dead. And I don't want bad things to happen in real life. But fiction and pretend help me face the horrors of the world and think about them without collapsing or messing myself up mentally.

[byunpum]

Back to you | Part 1

Pair: Jake(human and avatar) x Neytiri x Human reader (trio couple)

Warning: None, i think kinda sad. More in future, maybe soft-smut in the future.

Note: I'm still alive after disappearing for 1 month. Ahh omg, it's been so long, I'm so sorry. A lot of things have happened, more good than bad. But we're back…and as I had posted. Here I bring you this story, based on my mini-series 'mama's boy'. Here I share with you how our characters are paired up. I hope you like it, and let me know what you think and if I should continue with the mini-series. Love ya <3

+Read 'Mama's boy' HERE+

AVATAR MASTERLIST

You were feeling uncomfortable in the metal chair, which was placed next to the bonding machine, which allowed humans to use their avatars. Since the routine expedition, Jake had not returned. Everyone knew he was alive, but where was he? No one knew. Grace had asked you as a favor to monitor him until he returned. You weren't complaining, but you had avoided having any contact with Jake. He reminded you of things…Not even 20 minutes had passed, when the machine made a noise indicating that it would open. You get up from the chair as quickly as you can, to assist Jake. You help him open the lid, finding a confused, sweaty Jake with a stupid grin that made your heart pound. “You won't believe where I am?” says Jake, as you let out a big sigh and shift your gaze to Grace.

“Oh my god…you're back!!!” shouts grace from her desk. Coming towards you, she was already releasing a machine to take jake's blood pressure. “Grace…I'm in” says Jake, the man was lying on his shoulders. He was still a little weak, you force him to drink water from a bottle. Taking his chin to make him open his mouth. While grace looks at him with confusion. “What?” grace continues to work on adjusting the machine on his arm. Jake had been so many hours without using his body, he could pass out at any moment. “Yes…they accepted me. I'm inside their home” jake, looks at you. “You're in the tree home?” you ask. You watch as he nods his face quickly. Grace takes jake's face in her hands, and gives him a warm smile. “I can't believe it…are you serious?!!!” grace was shocked. They had tried to get in, but it was impossible. “I'm with a girl…ahhh netyy ahhh” jake tries to remember and pronounce the name correctly of the girl who is supposed to help him adjust. “Neytiri?” you speak softly, but loud enough for jake to hear you. “Yes her” jake speaks up.

Grace looks at you quickly and she can see the sadness in your gaze. You change your face and mood, moving away from Jake, helping him to put his weight down. Turning away from them, you bump into norm who had approached you moments before. “Are you okay?” norm asks, touching your shoulder, but you push him away. Walking as fast as you could away from them, you wanted to get out of there. You felt short of breath and were wiping away tears hiding your emotion. She was fine. It had been so long since you had heard from her. On the other side a group of friends are confused, “What's wrong with her, did I say something wrong?” asks Jake, looking at Grace. The woman was still looking towards the exit, sighing deeply. “It's a long story…come on out of there you need to rest and tell me everything” says grace, helping Jake into his wheelchair.

Lunchtime came quickly, and the entire team was gathered in the dining room eating dinner. The group of scientists were very excited and focused on every word that came out of Jake's mouth. It had been so long since they had been able to have a connection with the Omaticaya clan. Even grace was giving him their undivided attention. Meanwhile you and norm were standing a little away from the group, eating the disgusting food. You couldn't help but laugh at the look on norm's face, you could tell he was very upset. You kicked his foot a little, “hey get that face away” you scolded him, but you saw how he snapped with his teeth. “I can't stand this… it's a very unfair” norm says. “Unfair?” you ask, as you put a mouthful of food in your mouth. “Yes, Tom has been studying for 3 years and I've been studying for over 6 years…and where am I? sitting here, doing nothing. In fact, if anyone in the whole RDA deserved to be with the omaticaya clan, it's you. You've been in pandora all your life…you're part of the clan” speaks norm annoyed, seeing how you interrupt him with your index finger. “Ah ah was…past!!!” you speak, lowering your gaze for a moment. Some memories come to your head, yes, it was very true what norm said, you were once part of the omaticaya clan…but it's been so long. Maybe… they have forgotten about you. “Norm…I understand your discomfort, but there's nothing we can do, the pretty boy was lucky to be accepted” you joke, seeing Norm's disgusted face. “Jake pretty boy?!!!! You have to be crazy” you laugh loudly, looking at the group of scientists who were still harassing jake. “Well…you were tom's girlfriend, that says a lot about you” Norm says, now he was the one laughing at you. “We weren't boyfriend and girlfriend…we just spent a few nights together” you speak up, laughing with your friend.

While you and Norm were still laughing, for a moment you see Jake look at you and give you a smile. You return it, seeing how jake makes a help signal with his hands. You laugh even harder, but you feel Norm pinch you “don't be fooled by the enemy” says Norm “Norm let me go!!!” you roll your eyes back. Norm could sometimes be very very annoying. But you were used to it, he had always been like that.

You remember when norm and tom came to pandora. Just for their studies, and you were the first to meet them. From then on… you had grown very fond of them. When the news that tom had been killed reached your ears, you were heartbroken, again…but you got over it little by little. But with the new member of the group, it wasn't very easy. Since Jake had arrived, he hadn't taken his interest in you, and to make things worse for you. Grace had delegated all responsibility for Jake's avatar to you, so if anything happened to him it was your fault. And the last thing you wanted was for a $20 million dollar avatar to happen to him, or else the RDA was going to kill you.

After the meal, and when everyone was about to go to their respective rooms. Norm had gone ahead walking as fast as he could through the cold corridors of the RDA. You were walking more calmly, plus you wanted to meet Jake. You felt you owed him an apology for leaving him alone. By pure chance you find him, you see that he was talking something with Quaritch. You look at him with concern, if you knew one thing, it was that quaritch never had good intentions, if he wasn't given anything in return. When you see both men stop talking, you decide to approach jake. “Hello” you speak softly, catching the man's attention. Jake turns around, with a small smile. Lifting his gaze. “I'm all ears” jake says. You had barely spoken to jake since he arrived, so you were a little nervous. “One question…ahh where did you leave my avatar?” you ask. “Your avatar? It's in a safe place” jake says. “Yeah, but what safe place?” you wanted him to be more literal, because his concept of safety might be very different from yours. “I'm sleeping in some kind of giant leaf…ahh I don't remember” jake speaks up, shuffling his hair.there was a short silence between the two of you, but you decide to speak. “You're in the big tree?” you speak. Jake can see your eyes light up for a moment. “Yes…that. There I am” jake can see you kneel down in front of him, and move much closer. Placing your hands on his knees. As if whatever you were going to ask him, you didn't want anyone else to hear. “And how did you see everything? Is everyone okay?” you ask. “Yeah…normal, there's only one who seems to be a bother and he's warrior…I don't remember his name” jake says and can see how you smile softly. “That's tsu'tey” you speak. “That same one, do you know him?” jake gets closer to your face, and you quickly push him away. “Ahh thank you for answering me…see you tomorrow” you get up quickly, and leave quickly. Before you continue walking to your room, you stop “By the way…sorry for leaving you alone when you wake up, next time I'll take better care of you” you apologize, and turn to continue on your way.

Jake stood there confused, he thought you looked kind of strange. But cute…very cute. He could understand his brother now. Laughing to himself, he started on his way to his room. Although he must admit that he found it even stranger, that you knew the name of that navi. It was assumed that only people who have an avatar have had contact with the Omaticayas, and he understands that not all of them have. How did you know that?

The next day came quickly, and Jake had almost no time to wake up…because he had to get up early. Wiping his eyes, he was already sitting on the edge of the connection machine. “Good morning” you hummed, approaching him. You had a cup of coffee in your hands, offering it to him with some vitamins. “Good morning gorgeous” jake chuckles, as he can as norm makes a dirty face. “Here…you'll need this” you hand him the stuff. “And this?” jake asks. “It's some vitamins that will help your body not collapse from not eating all day and a coffee” you speak, as you practically force jake to take it all. Grace approaches you, accompanied by Norm. “Well, here's the information,” says Grace, showing Jake a screen. On it was all of neytiri's information. You come to Jake's side, looking at the screen with a warm smile. “Please don't disrespect her….y do not be a jerk” norm speaks, giving jake a dirty look. “You're just upset because I'm the one going on a date with the leader's daughter” jake says in a mocking voice. Grace rolls her eyes and tells you to take care of hooking Jake up. As jake lies down, you approach him. “ Advice…don't try to flirt with neytiri” you speak up. Watching as jake raises an eyebrow, and laughs a little. “There you go…and how do you know that?” he speaks. You now give him a big smile, but one of sarcasm. “I know why I say that” you speak, as you turn away from jake. “You should listen to her,” Grace shouts from the distance. “Good luck…soldier” you speak, being the last face jake saw to wake up in his avatar body.

And yes, jake should take your advice, you knew neytiri more than anyone. And yes you were hating the fact that he could be with her. It had been so many years since you last saw her, you didn't even get to say goodbye…nothing. The last time you saw Neytiri was when that tragedy happened at school. You sigh a little, as you begin to prepare the week's paperwork. But your thoughts are interrupted when you feel grace sit down next to you. “I have good news… a new project is coming out tomorrow,” says Grace. You look at her curiously. “Project?” you ask. Grace's face ascends. “Yes…we need to be closer to the clan, a place we are safe, but we can still get on with the project 'jakesully” says grace, watching you laugh. “I was able to convince the RDA idiots to have a bunker, where we can have a team, a small lab. i'm counting on you, right?” grace looks at you with a raised eyebrow, waiting for your answer. “Can I refuse?” you speak, feeling Grace hug you and press a kiss to your hair. “It'll be for the best… we'll have a great time, no personal space” grace jokes, as you groan loudly.

And as if by magic, within a week you were in the bunker in the middle of the jungle. Norm, grace, judy, jake and you. Although judy came and went from time to time to get everything you needed. Even though she used to get away so often, she was part of the team. You adjusted too quickly, it seemed to be comfortable. And the comfort you felt around Jake was increasing too, and very quickly. This seemed to be nice for grace, she liked to see you happy and excited about something or someone…it had been a long time since she had seen you like this. Watching from afar, as you wiped jake's face with a wet rag. “I'm not a baby” says Jake, as you wipe his eyes. While you hold your face with both hands. “Yeah but you're barely taking care of yourself…I know your avatar body is amazing, but you're here” you touch his chest and feel his heart. “Can you feel it moving? It's that fast for you “ jake jokes, watching you laugh and turn away from him. “That was the worst thing you've said so far” norm complains from behind you, as he sips his coffee.

You liked it when jake would go back to his body in the afternoon, and do his video documentaries. And you could listen to everything he had learned, plus he would also tell you everything he had done with neytiri. “It's just that it's hard to use the bow…it's” Jake would explain with his hands, you could see the frustration in his eyes and gestures. Neytiri could be very rude at times, but that was the way it was and he had to learn. “The trick is to put pressure on the back arm” you move, and show him the pose. “And boom…done” you joke. Jake shakes his head to the side, watching as you continue to explain how he should do things. Just like neytiri was doing, they were explaining almost identically. Jake leans forward and brushes a strand of hair away from your face. Tucking it behind your ear. “Thank you” you speak timidly, now pulling away. “Thank you for helping me” jake says.

Since you had gotten closer to him, he had improved so much with the lessons with neytiri. If she told him something, he would ask you as soon as he returned to his human body. And you answered him without hesitation, sometimes he didn't understand how you knew so much about the clan. Only grace and a few avatars were supposed to have had contact with the clan, norm could know some things. But you were an expert. And your advice is really paying off. Now jake was in his avatar body, he was holding the bow again, and he remembered what you had said to him. “Neytiri was asking you to put strength in your arms, so you will be more accurate in your shooting” jake remembered your words, he adjusted his stance. Neytiri was approaching him, but stopped short. When she noticed Jake's stance, she stood watching him. Seeing how the shot was perfect. “Well done” says neytiri, watching as jake smiles at her. She was wondering how he had improved overnight. But if she could tell, it was the technique jake was using…it was very similar to yours. Neytiri tries to distract herself and keeps walking towards the prey.

For a moment during the day, the two of them had sat down in a nice quiet meadow to eat something to eat…neytiri was minding her own business eating her food. But she could feel jake's gaze, he might change his gaze once or twice. But he would look back at her. “ What are you looking at so much?” speaks neytiri without taking her eyes off her fruit. Jake remains thoughtful for a moment. “That necklace around your neck” jake points to the woven necklace neytiri had around her neck, she touches it while looking at it warmly. “What is it?” jake asks, but he thinks he knows the answer. The reason he's asking is because the night before, when he came over to fix your hair. He could see you had that same necklace, he wanted to believe it was something grace gave you. But today he noticed the same one on Neytiri and was surprised. They were identical. “This…” neytiri holds her necklace tightly. “This is a memory of her” neytiri says, she stops eating for a moment. She could look thoughtful, like she was remembering someone. “Her?” asks jake. Neytiri looks at him slowly, you could see her little teary eyes. But she gets up suddenly, “Come on…we have a lot of things to do” says neytiri. Jake stands up behind her, and catches her hand to stop her for a second. “Neytiri…are you okay?” the boy asks. Neytiri squeezes jake's hand for a moment, looking down and taking a deep breath. “Yes,” she says. Starting to walk to a new route, but Jake could tell how she didn't let go of his grip and continued to hold his hand tightly. Jake didn't refuse at any point, neytiri is not very affectionate to say the least, and the fact that she was still holding his hand. It meant that she needs him right now.

That same afternoon, when jake and neytiri came home from training, they had lunch with the whole clan. And lay down to rest in their respective places, neytiri waited a few minutes to carefully lift her head and see if jake had finally fallen asleep. She had her home with her parents, being still single, neytiri could live with her parents. But right now, she had the task of training and taking care of Jake. So she had to be wherever he was. Neytiri notices how Jake is asleep. Getting up from her hammock, to walk carefully in the branches. Leaving the resting area, running carefully to her ikran. “sense…come on” says neytiri, climbing into her ikran quickly. flying away from the familiar tree, she hopes no one was following her, because she was heading to a place she only knew about.

Not far away, there was a very tall tree. Too tall to be anything but scary for anyone to come and interrupt. Neytiri leads Seze to a giant branch, which had a beautiful view of the jungle of Pandora. Neytiri climbs down from the ikran, stroking the creature's head, stretching a little. To approach the tree trunk, picking up a small bag. Now to sit on the edge of the branch. She sighs a little, looking at the scenery. Opening the bag, and taking out of it a piece of paper. Very carefully she unfolds it and laughs to see what was drawn on it.

A cute doodle drawing…on it were two girls. Neytiri laughs to herself, as she touches the paper wistfully. “I hope you never forget me…my Y/N” Neytiri speaks softly. Hugging the paper carefully, this was the only thing I had of you.

What do you think? should I continue? btw, If you want to be tagged, let me know.<3

[kathaynesart]

Now that we're starting to hop around the timeline a bit, I figured it would be wise to post an official timeline of events to avoid confusion (note: always subject to change). I had also considered doing a similar Happy>Angst Scale Timeline like what Cass and Tapa have done in the past but... even I'm not 100% sure I want to see what that is going to look like haha.

NOTES OF INTEREST LISTED BELOW:

Pre 2022 is literally just the show ROTTMNT. These boys are supposed to be as close to canon as possible so it's a good reminder that everything that happened in the show happened to them as well (no they were not human kids that got mutated at a zoo, that was a big fat lie they told the EPF, I keep getting questions about that haha).

2022 - The Invasion catches them all by surprise and the Krang begin their conquest of the planet Earth. The Mad Dogs do what they can, but are as much in the dark as the rest of the world as to what these things are and where they came from.

2026 - This is the point where THIS INTERVIEW happens. Their Lair is destroyed by the Krang, as is the Hidden City. Splinter is killed and with nowhere left to go the boys turn to the last remaining human colony in the US. It is here they finally discover the true origins of the Krang and Leo realizes his hand in it.

2028 - The Holiday Special when Casey Junior is born! Look forward to it!

2030 - "The Day the Sky Bled Red" The fall of the Central Park Colony, the EPF, and the last remnants of the US Government. The survivors create the Liberty Colony located beneath the Statue of Liberty and form the Resistance, where humans, yokai, and mutants are treated equally.

2036-44 - Where the vast majority of Replica's story will be told.

Leaving some details sparse because they'll probably be addressed at some point in the story, but hopefully this information might help give better context.

[mrsnancywheeler]

the lakes (8) // finnick odair x f. reader

summary: it's supposed to be over, you and Finnick are supposed to spend the rest of your lives helping each other heal. living as peacefully as possible, but the the third quarter quell throws a wrench in your domestic bliss.

previous part / next part

prequel

4.6k words

warnings: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, manipulation of someone's feelings, drinking away problems, mental illness, mentions of suicidal ideations, savior complex Finnick and reader, codependent relationship, allusions to trafficking and forced sexualization of body, mentions of death/violence happening to children, unedited, no use of y/n, arguments, self-hate, self-doubt, a love triangle that really isn't a love triangle

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

“Oh, you look so beautiful." Cambrie was crying, actually crying. Standing behind you in the mirror, staring the the gorgeous dress she'd designed. You wanted to cry too because even if she'd always treated you more like a doll than a living, breathing person it did hurt to know you'd never see her familiar presence again. 

“You did an amazing job, Cambrie, it reminds me of home." Truthfully the dresses shimmery deep blue did make you think of the waters of home and the seaweed and pearl based jewelry was a nice touch. Of course it was a too low cut for your liking and regardless of the colors would be completely translucent if the light hit it right, it was stunning.

“You really think so?" Her eyes were full of tears and you nodded your head turning to hug her.

“Yes, thank you." It pained you too think about how even if she never treated you fully human she would still be deeply hurt by your death. Her favorite muse.

“I don't know who I'm going to model my designs off of anymore, unless you come back or course, but you make it so easy." Of course she had ulterior motives, but it was somewhat amusing to hear her problems when yours were so much more lethal. She pulled away from you, “I wanted to go more bridal, but President Snow wanted Katniss wearing her wedding dress, so we're going to go for the more subtle route.”

It wasn't subtle in the slightest, a similarly shimmering, translucent veil was in your hair although not covering your face and adorned with sea thrift. Your arms had bouquet-like bracelets of yarrow, lavender, and sea oats from your shoulders down to your wrists. Then there were the sandals covered in pearls and seashells, if it hadn't been purposefully forced to be more sensual you would have genuinely loved it. More of a “natural" makeup look had been preferred to create the essence of more of a sweet mermaid than a sultry, seductive siren.

Suddenly you could feel the tears threatening to pour over, “I wish you would have been able to just design my wedding dress with normal circumstances. Thank you for this.” 

"Oh you're such a sweetheart, I can't fathom how they could do this again to such a sweet girl. Everyone loves you, there's so much outrage. You'll certainly have lots of sponsors.” She cupped your face, shaking her head sadly. "We'd best be on our way.” She sighed, leading you out of the room for the last time.

There all the tributes stood waiting in their line, Katniss was already waiting in her wedding gown. She caught you staring at the dress, "Snow made me wear it.” 

"Make him pay for it.” Johanna remarked ok the side, in another one of the tree related get ups her designer has such an attachment too. She looked you up and down,"Even in death they just can't leave you alone?” It was true, you were basically naked if people were staring at the way the colors caught the light.

“Just making sure to squeeze out every last drop before I go." One last glance at the body they'd controlled before you took it back forever. Johanna scoffed.

“Make him pay for that too." You took your place in the line next to Finnick, whose shirt was heavily unbuttoned.

“Is this our own wedding get-up?" He asked, arm sliding around your waist. You hummed a yes as you pecked at his lips.

“Do you like it?" You asked, hand playing with his sleeve.

“You look stunning. Do you like it, would it be your top contender when I finally get you that real dress?" He asked, a loving grin adorning his face. 

“Maybe, if it wasn't so see-through. Reminds me of home though.” Finnick nodded in agreement.

“Look like you came straight from the moonlit waters, angel." You rested into his warm arms which were a godsend when the fabric did even less to protect you from the chill in the air. Cashmere and Gloss both proclaimed how difficult it would be to let go of their friends from the Capitol. How they were all like brothers and sisters to them, trying to further manipulate the audience's feelings into somehow getting them to prevent the games. Snow would never let that happen, but taking a shot at it couldn't hurt. Enobaria and Brutus both acted like it was a normal game, with just as much intensity as they had the first round. Wiress was rambling on and on, sometimes coherently, but the audience simply laughed like it were some huge joke about how unstable she was. Beetee’s rationalization took hold, talking about all he had done, all he'd offered to the Capitol, and questioned how legal this type of Quarter Quell was, couldn't it just be unwritten since it would have such a negative effect? Finnick rubbed circles on your arm as you nervously tapped your foot. “You've got this, my love." He reassured you as you were lead to wait off stage.

“Our very own Capitol Princess!” Caesar Flickerman’s voice blared and you put on your most charming smile to enter as he said your name. Waving at the audience, blowing kisses. The cheering soon calmed down and he turned to look at you, “Now, I think we're all a little bit upset with you and your husband. Aren't we?" The audience gave out enthusiastics agreements. 

“I'm sorry!" You giggled, breathily. “We didn't want to take away attention from the star-crossed lovers."

“Oh we have enough love for the both of you!" The audience cheered in agreement.

You looked out at the crowd, “And we love you! It breaks my heart to know we won't get to share our journey with you." The tears that wanted to spill about other things you willed to appear now.

“So a secret marriage? How did that come about?" Caesar asked after the ooh’s and aww’s had quieted.

“We just knew that if we were going to die in the arena, we needed to be one with each other, and the waters." The first tears began to roll, “Now that we know we can't ever again have those moments. Especially to share them all with you." You could vaguely see tears on obscured faces and you knew it was working. "We'd been quietly planning how we'd get engaged in front of all of you, but when the Quarter Quell announcement came it just couldn't wait. So now we can't do the dress, and the wedding, and the house decorating, and the kids with all of you.” Wiping away the tears falling down.

"We'll certainly mourn that just as much, won't we?” The crowd boomed with agreement and cries. "One more thing, last time you were here you were also going into the arena with a romance, now it's happening all over again, does that add to the emotions we’re feeling tonight? The idea that if you win you'll have lost another love?”

Your tears glistened under the lights as you nodded, "All I have to say about that Caesar is that I have no intentions of leaving that arena if I can't be with him. We are one and I couldn't bear to live my life without knowing I'd see him everyday. This hurts so bad because I know it'll be my last time seeing all of your kind faces.” By now the audience was sobbing and suddenly the tears began feeling real, creeping up on you.

Caesar nodded solemnly, “And we'll be sorry to see you go. Ever romantic, our Capitol Princess!" Tears were blinding you and it was difficult to find your way to the pedestals where the other tributes were standing. Suddenly your face was being held and honey tasting lips were on yours, Finnick. You could hear the audience cooing and crying, he wiped the tears once he pulled away and led you to where you needed to stand.

"Sorry, Ceaser I couldn't help myself." His warm voice filled the room, his gorgeous smile being zoomed in on by the cameras.

“Oh no worries! Making ever the entrance, Capitol darling Finnick Odair!" The audience let out a resounding cheer for him. “Finnick, can I be honest?"

“Of course, Caesar." That gorgeous, sunshine smile rested on his face and it was no wonder it left the Capitol citizens swooning for more.

“I don't know what we're going to do if you don't come back. Right?” The audience loudly agreed and Finnick chuckled. "I mean you've been such a favorite, both of you have, and the world will not be the same without it.” How ironic, if it would be so painful then they really should make more of an effort to put a stop to it, but they wouldn't.

"I'm very sorry about that Ceaser, but my hands are tied. If we could, we would spend every moment with all of you, we're so grateful for your love.” A bold-faced lie, every party to keep up appearances, each call from the Capitol was far more draining then just spending a peaceful day together which could be endless.

“We wish you could too. Being married in the arena, how's that going to work? I mean we've heard from her that there's no grand plan for her to come back, but I assume as the husband you might have something to say about that?" This elicited a laugh from the audience and Finnick nodded.

“Well certainly, Caesar, what kind of husband would I be if I let her have her way in that? I will say, my love, you have my heart for all eternity, and if I die in that arena, my last thought will be of your lips.” You were sick, honestly nauseated with grief. This was so unfair, you'd tried not to think about it, but in just over 12 hours you'd be forced back into the arena and risk losing each other.

"We wish you the best luck with that." People were weeping in the audience and Finnick's face had become so sober that it was jarring how naturally it fell back into an easy smile. “That's Finnick Odair, Capitol darling." Soon he was right beside you on the podium, kissing you again for the audience to be giddy with joy, but also hearts ruptured for the lovers torn apart for only the first time of the night. You could taste your salty tears mixing with the honeycomb of his lips before he pulled away, giving another grin to the audience.

His hand stayed intertwined with yours, but something wasn't quite right about his demeanor. Even if physically he kept up the same presence as always you could feel the shift in his aura, in his touch. He was upset, but not in the way you were. You couldn't stop yourself from continually glancing over at him, silently trying to get his attention so you could see what was wrong. Squeezing his hand with yours to try and get a response when he finally did meet your eyes it hit you that the look was disappointment, dread and when you shot a quizzical look back he looked like he was going to cry as he put his focus back on the stage.

You were stuck in your own head no, had it been something you said? Did? It was all for the performance which he had to know. Your foot was tapping and you were zoning out of the interviews until all the sudden the audience was shrieking. Katniss’ wedding dress disappeared in clouds of black smoke and when they disappeared the dress had transformed. Upon lifting her arms you could see what it was, a mockingjay. A public symbol of the rebellion, Caesar was trying to cover, but the cameras already would have caught it.

One more interview before the night would be over and you'd wait to be shipped back off to the arena where certain death awaited you. Charming Peeta insisted that he and Katniss too had a secret wedding to have the traditions of District 12. The audience ate each crumb he gave right out of his hands when suddenly he made the world stop, “If it weren't for the baby." Shock, outrage filled the room. All of these people who'd been fine watching children fight to the death and suffer after they won for personal entertainment couldn't stand the fact that Katniss could be pregnant. The irony of it all, how smart Peeta had been on his feet made it hard for you to suppress the smile. As Caesar desperately tried to do damage control once again you noticed how everyone of the tribute's hands began linking, placing your free hand in Beetee’s who bobbed his head before holding Wiress’. Hands joined, you lifted them above your head increasing the audience's screams and Caesar was yelling for lights to be turned off, all this did was illuminate your figures in the low lights. 

Then you were being filed off of the pedestals and to the hallway. You instantly met eyes with Haymitch, holding some glass filled with some type of drink. You didn't say a word to him before taking it from his hand to take a drink. 

“Dealing with pre-game jitters with alcohol really seems like a great idea." He said sardonically, scoffing. He didn't try and grab the drink back though even when you scowled at him. Right when you'd taken another drink of the bubbly liquid it was Finnick who took the drink from your hand, handing it back to Haymitch. "What? Trouble in paradise?” He took a drink too.

“Just need you to be rational instead of hungover in the morning.” Finnick muttered, he was angry at something, that much was obvious. 

Haymitch took something off of his wrist and handed it to Finnick, “Show her this and she'll realize I gave it to you, since she won't ally with you of her own accord." It was a gold bangle and Finnick nodded as he slid it on his wrist. They were whispering something to each other and you pulled away to an Avox holding a tray of more bubbly drinks nearby. Grabbing one you nodded a thank you, swallowing it down as fast as you could before Finnick had grabbed it again, looking at you sternly.

“I'm not going to be hungover.” You rolled your eyes and he handed the second, nearly empty glass to Haymitch as well.

"Well you don't exactly make great decisions for yourself.” You rolled your eyes at him as he ran his fingers through his curls.

"What's your problem? I made them sympathetic, I did what I was supposed to!” You couldn't fathom why that would upset him, it was a performance and he did the same thing.

"You have a death wish, that's the problem, I'm not letting you die for me!” You stared into his gorgeous sea-green eyes and scoffed before turning around to walk straight back to your floor.

"Thank you, Haymitch.” You heard Finnick say before he was following you to the elevator.

"You're really gonna argue with me about what I said in the interview right before we head back into the arena?" You pressed the cold buttons before crossing your arms, refusing to look at him.

“When this started I begged you to talk to me, to stop punishing yourself for whatever you did six years ago to survive, but you still are. You didn't say anything until right before we headed back into the arena, informing the world all about how you plan to die in there.” The elevator opened and he stepped in as you followed.

“I don't plan too, I just expect it. I'm not going to keep going if you die."

“Yes, you are, Annie needs you, Mags needs you." He pointed to the bangle quickly to put off anyone who could be listening in, “Needs you. This insistence that you're going to die is ridiculous, angel, I'm not going to let you.”

             𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

You stood backstage with Conway, having to consciously force your leg to stay still, to not keep tapping as you waited to do on stage. The air was chilly which wasn't helped by the thin material of your dress, it's low-cut, or the huge slit in it's side at least Conway got to be in a suit. Your eyes were glued to the screen where the male tribute from District 3 had just begun his interview.

“Now, how old are you?" Caesar asked, the boy was small, he couldn't be that old, it looked like the seat was going to swallow him whole.

“Thirteen." His voice was shaky and your ears started ringing. How were you supposed to do this, that was a child, a tiny kid whose family was sitting back home watching their baby boy be shipped off to certain death. You could feel the tears approaching and your breathing getting more shallow. Cold hands were suddenly on yours.

“Are you okay?" Conway asked, as you began to hyperventilate.

“I can't do this." You whispered out as the first tears began falling, “That's a little boy, I can't-"

“I get it." Conway reassured, his big, brown eyes trying to comfort you. “You've got this though, you can't do anything about him being here, but you can make a good impression with the audience. We have to focus on that no matter how screwed up you feel like it is. Go up there and do what you have to do.” What you have to do, charm them, be sweet, and pretty, but a little mysterious. Finnick had all types of angles for you. You gave a final look back at Conway who tried to give a reassuring smile, but you could tell he was bothered too. Caesar's booming voice called your name and you stepped out into the bright lights of the stage. Beaming for the audience, waving, giggling at their cheers.

“I have to say, everyone was blown away with how charming you seemed at the tribute parade, but then that training score came out. How did you do that?" Caesar asked as the two of you sat down, the audience murmuring in agreement. 

“Well, Caesar, a lady has to have some secrets for herself." You made your laugh airy and winked at the laughing audience. “I have to save some things for the show, don't I?"

Caesar nodded, laughing along. "Of course! You know when I saw your face at the reaping I couldn't help but feel like I recognized you from somewhere, did anyone else feel that way?” The audience cheered out agreements and your stomach knotted. What was he talking about? You certainly didn't know how they knew you. "I mean this was literally keeping me up at night.”

You leaned forward, the dress putting a little too much on display, but you persisted. "Well do tell.”

"Months ago we were doing a catch up piece of Finnick Odair and you were in some of it, very briefly, but you were.” The audience was wild, they adored Finnick and loved any type of connection. Your stomach clenched, how were you supposed to seem in love with Conway when this was being chosen for you.

You blushed, “Oh yes, Caesar! I didn't imagine anyone would remember that!" 

"Well we did and we love it!” He proclaimed and the audience agreed. "So tell me, just between us-” The audience laughed and you did too. "Are you and a certain victor pining for your return to tell us all some very exciting news?” You shook your head slowly, trying not to look as embarrassed as you felt. “No? I don't believe that, look at you, charming and obviously extremely talented. There was definitely something going on when that program came out, not anymore?" Time was running out and this was not going the way you planned.

So new plan, “No, Ceasar.” Your voice was light and sounded shaky on purpose. You shook your head.

"Oh, so this is a tale of heartbreak?” He asked and the audience cooed. "Well if you win, he'll have to take you back won't he? I'm sure we won't let up until he does!” He laughed and the crowd seemed to agree with him. 

“I'm afraid it's much more complicated than that." You smoothed out your dress even if it needed no smoothing.

"Oh! Is there another man as well, we live for the drama!” You nodded slowly.

"Yes and I'm afraid winning won't help me in either case.” You were alluding and there was only a few seconds left. Caesar stood up.

"Well now you have to win this thing, so we can all know about this tale of romance. It's going to be keeping me on the edge of my seat!" 

“And I'd love to share it with all of you." You let a few tears fall as you blew a kiss out to the audience who adored it. The two of you bowed as you walked off the stage. Heart pounding rapidly as you were escorted out to the hall where Finnick, Ondine, and your designer Cambrie stood.

“Oh you looked divine!" Cambrie announced, hands on your shoulders. “All of my friends are going to want to sponsor you, I'm certain you'll be the talk of Panem, leaving us on a cliffhanger like that!" She was basically shrieking in joy when she got distracted by some hors d'oeuvres an Avox was holding.

You buried your head in your hands as Finnick approached, “I didn't know they were going to side swipe you like that. It could be good for your image though." You were now hyper aware of the eyes on the both of you even if technically he was your mentor just giving you advice.

“Could be bad for that, unless he picked up what I was putting down." You pointed at the screen where Conway sat with Caesar.

“So Conway, I'm sure all of us were very impressed by your training score, a big, strong man like you, what's your strategy?" Caesar asked and the audience made comments under their breath, acting as if they were also part of the conversation. 

“Let's just say I know what I'm up against and am confident in the people I've decided to trust." Looking at him made you see flashes of your childhood, of him crabbing with your family as kids, hair billowing in the wind as he made sure you didn't slip on the water covering the boat’s deck.

Caesar nodded, “Well alright, making us wait for tomorrow as well?"

Conway smiled that kind, loving smile he gave everyone, “I guess you could say that.”

"Now everyone is dying to know if you have a special girl back home, I mean you’re a good looking guy and even girls in the Capitol are swooning.”

"Well, it's a lot more complicated than that, Caesar.” Conway and his boyish charm was sure to bring in more sponsors as well. Caesar took a second, looking at Conway and the audience with as much drama as he could, like he was slowly connecting the dots.

“You're not saying what I think you're saying are you?" He asked and the crowd screamed in agreement, eating it up.

Conway adjusted his shirt collar, “Regretfully, I might be."

“Well isn't this straight out of a fairytale." A dark, corrupted one if that. “That sure complicates things doesn't it?"

Conway nodded, “Yes."

“You're certainly going to be keeping all of us on our toes, a love triangle. Well I certainly wish you the best of luck in your endeavors." Caesar laughed. What luck? Only one ‘choice’ would be alive if you won.

“Thank you, Caesar. All I can say is even if it's doomed, hopefully she doesn't pick the one who already broke her heart.” Even if it wasn't meant that way to you it felt threatening, hopefully you didn't or he'd be forced to kill you? You honestly had no idea what the best outcome was, maybe him asking you to take care of his family before sacrificing himself? But now you were overtly aware that you not only had him observing you, but all of Panem desperately wanting to know where you would land. 

            𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

You were laying on the bed, hands covering your face as Finnick went on and on about how self-destructive you were. Maybe he was right, but you didn't see why it mattered. It's not like you were going to do anything intentional, you'd just do what you could to get Katniss out of the arena alive and be with Finnick.

“How are we supposed to do this if you don't believe you can survive?” He was pacing the room,"The moment that gong rings you need to come find me, I need my eyes on you.”

"I will, Finnick! But you need to focus on other things too.” You defended, sighing.

"How am I supposed to do that when the person I love the most is a danger to herself?” He stopped moving for a moment to stare at you, even with your face hidden in your hands you could feel his eyes burning into you.

You finally moved your hands,"I'm not! I just want to go to sleep, Finnick, can't we just rest?"

“We can sleep when I can rest well knowing you're not going to make impulsive decisions or give up if I get hurt. Don't be dependent on my life, angel, you deserve to live." You stood up only to walk to the open bathroom door and begin removing your makeup. 

“I don't know what you want me to say, Finnick." He followed you and stood behind you watching you in the mirror. You were passive to his pleas, you couldn't understand why it mattered so much to him. If he died it's not like he would know if you did too and if he lived there were plenty of other women who would be glad to comfort him, plus the revolution would keep him distracted.

There was a pause as you continued with your routine before he removed the bottle from your hands and turned you to face him, he'd always been much stronger than you and there was no use trying to release yourself. 

“That your life matters to you just as much as it does to me and I want you to believe it when you say it."

You sighed, “Finnick I will do whatever you tell me to do, I'll stay right by your side if you want me too. All I want is to be with you, that's all that matters to me."

He closed his eyes, exhaling shakily, “I can't believe I let us get so codependent." You watched a tear make its way down his cheek and felt you swarmed with guilt. “I can't make this better overnight no matter how badly I want to, but I do want you by me every second in that arena. Don't you dare go sacrificing yourself for someone, anyone. Angel, I can't live without you either.” His warm arms brought you to him, caught in his embrace as the guilt overwhelmed the numbness. "We're both getting out of there alive, no matter what it takes.” He whispered and although your brain told you not to believe him, to accept your fate you would trust him to the grave so you nodded your head into his shoulder. 

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

thank you so much for reading and all the support I've been receiving, I love you all so much and am glad you're enjoying my little thoughts. next chapter we can finally get into the games of it all, not gonna like this chapter was a lot of fun to write but took forever because I was having too many thoughts. if you enjoyed it feedback, likes, reblogs, and comments are all super appreciated. my inbox is always open! I love you all, thank you again! 💋

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[kippah-for-lemon]

A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO,

a neighborhood science teacher asked if I believed that the Genesis account of creation was true. I answered, yes. Great, he said. Would I like to speak to his class about my understanding of creation? This modern-day John Scopes thought he was inviting a modern-day William Jennings Bryan to reenact the classic duel.

However, I told the class that while I believed the Genesis account of creation to be true, I also believed the scientific theory of evolution to be true. My response was greeted by puzzlement on the part of twenty-five eighth graders and disappointment on the part of their teacher. I went on to explain that science is one of humanity's great truth traditions, and religion is another. The two have threatened each other since well before the theories of Charles Darwin were formulated. But they needn't be engaged in such a heated rivalry because their goals are so different.

Science can help us understand how the world was created, but it can't tell us why it was created. And religion has no business telling us how the world was created, but we desperately need it to help us under- stand why we're here.

Genesis doesn't discuss the survival of the fittest, but, as you well know, Darwin's scientific creation story does. That story's operativeprinciple of the survival of the fittest became known as Social Darwinism, which taught that only the truly gifted deserve to survive. It is unfortunate that this teaching has become an axiom of modern life. In contrast, our Jewish tradition has always taught that we are responsible for the survival of the least fit: the orphan, the poor, the lonely, and the stranger, to name just a few. And in Genesis 1:27 we are told that every single human being is divinely gifted and deserving of dignity. The opening of Genesis tells about the creation by God of a universe of harmony, balance, and beauty, formed from soupy chaos, tohu vavohu. It is the most profound story we know, and it reminds us why we are here. It sets forth our work, and our challenge. But is the story true?

Regretfully I must admit that the story is not true, or at least not yet. When will it be true? When we accept our responsibility as God's partners in creating the world described in Genesis.

-Rabbi Rick Jacobs (b. 1955)

An excerpt from my Temple's Rosh Hashanah prayer book. Under the cut is just a testimony from me but feel free to reblog for the quote alone.

It really stuck with me because I was raised Protestant. I even attended a private Christian (nondenominational) school for three years. Sixth through 8th grade (for non-Americans, I was the ages of 11-14 give or take).

I was taught that evolution wasn't real. I wrote an 8 page essay on why Charles Darwin was wrong and that The Bible was correct. Little did I know I actually did believe in evolution, and so did most of my peers as I reasoned that over a long time of adaptations maybe there could be a different species

I was shell shocked when I switched to a public high school (14 years old) and flat out told evolution was true (or well as true as a scientific theory can get). I lost my trust for authority, and I realized how damaging my education had been.

I'm AFAB, and so I was taught my responsibility was to be quiet and to please my husband. I often asked far too many questions, especially when it came to the teachings of the Bible, to the extent my own teachers, men and women who were supposed to nurture my curiosity and be my guide into the world, shunned me.

Starting my Jewish journey, I sobbed. I sobbed after the first service I went to. It's so different from what I had been through before. I'm so glad I'm allowed to ask questions and it's even encouraged. I'm glad the Torah is scrutinized and we are encouraged to study the book and even admit when G-d has done wrong.

My partner, knowing my past, pointed this specific excerpt out to me. I had to fight back tears. I feel so loved and welcomed in Judaism.

"...Jewish tradition has always taught that we are responsible for the survival of the least fit: the orphan, the poor, the lonely, and the stranger, to name just a few. And in Genesis 1:27 we are told that every single human being is divinely gifted and deserving of dignity."

[thefirstknife]

hey have you seen the lore tabs for the exotic ghost shell and ship in the super high levels of the season pass? if so what do you make of them. like, speaker is a new light, has a name starting with s, is dealing with vex, and speaks as if theyre part of humanity in the ship lore tab like that cant possibly be maya sundaresh right but im not sure what other candidates there could be since the episode is called echoes and is almost certainly going to involve the vex on nessus

I've seen them! There's also one on the sparrow of the same type. I genuinely have no idea. There's some clues in the tabs, but they're super hard to understand without context, but yes, I do believe this is Maya.

Spectrum Shell, Unbridled Iridescence sparrow, Polychroma ship. Putting them in this order, because of the number on the log. Each lore has a "personal log" with a number: 0002, 0025 and 0031.

It starts with a vague description that I don't think shows a new light or a Guardian at all:

It is strange to be awake, physically, after so long spent wandering.

This is very peculiar; it has the vibe of this person having existed in some other form before gaining physical form. Since we know we'll be dealing with the Vex and Maya, this immediately reminds me of Ishtar scientist simulations.

Following the number of the logs, there's "AS." The speaker explains what this means:

Keeping a log will help, at the very least to track the days. As will my silly little joke to make myself feel important, two days after the rebeginning of myself. Anno… me. I suppose.

This specifies that the "0002" is "two days" and the "AS" is a joke on the time designation: "anno" being "year" as when used for example in "anno domini" (year of our lord) or AD. Instead in this case it's the author's name which as you've noted begins with an S. This bit:

I ignored and abandoned the best person I knew. I feel foolish, empty. Daunted at the immensity and masochism of my own stupidity. It feels childish to admit I'd always assumed she would follow me.

... first made me consider it being Maya thinking of abandoning Chioma. Then "S" would be Sundaresh, and it would also fit with her being a simulation newly awake and finally physical, as would the rest of the information of the author being a scientist and knowing things from the Golden Age.

Also interesting from the first lore tab:

At least I am not alone here. My new ally more than makes up for the Vex's dreadful company. His disposition is calming, reassuring—a welcome voice when I need affirmation and guidance. And such a fascinating origin! Such astounding variance in biology and culture. I look forward to our continued partnership.

The author has some sort of an "ally" among all the Vex, someone with a "fascinating origin" and "astounding variance in biology and culture." I have no idea what this means. Possibly non-human? Or at least neo-human, so perhaps Awoken? If this is Maya, she would not know about the Awoken. I'm thinking Awoken because, if we're dealing with the Vex, there's a guy in there: Asher Mir. But I would NOT describe Asher as calming and reassuring. Another option is possibly Mithrax? If we're dealing with some Vex shenanigans, he might be involved.

The sparrow lore originally made me feel like it's Maya because of the topic of discussion; the science and philosophy of personhood and simulations. The author also mentions "pre-Veil contact philosophy" which implies the author has been there or is at least well-read on the topic, which suggests a connection to the Golden Age. Also:

Traversal through other states of being are possible, as proven by my own journey and ascension over my Vex...

"Proven by my own journey" also would imply Maya, but the addition of the ominous "my Vex" is strange. Is this a hint to the new plotline then? Maya ascending over the Vex and becoming capable of controlling them or just using them in some way? Wild. Curious addition in the next paragraph with "... Vex, even these older ones..." Older Vex? As in Precursors? Or something else? I am very intrigued.

The ship lore is somewhat concerning as the author talks about humanity's unwillingness to continue progressing:

My hypothesis is that it is a true technological leap that hinders us. Perhaps when humanity sees what can be accomplished using a force that can reshape the planet itself, they will feel secure enough to turn to science once again.

The author thinks we can use a "force that can reshape the planet itself" to continue the technological advancement of humanity. A what? Is this something to do with Nessus and the Vex abilities to terraform? Furthermore:

These are problems my Vex can alleviate. Why take risks with AI when a more straightforward force may be utilized to facilitate a civilization's rise? Related… research with my ally has proven the path forward. Radiolaria remains easiest; its individual minds are simply so small, although they are multitudinous their connections make it simple. Other larger, more complex minds prove difficult for the time being… But I am not unfamiliar with the rigor of practice. I will delight in trial and error.

Again with the "my Vex" and the implication that the Vex can be used for these advancements, specifically radiolaria. This also includes "research with my ally" which makes me want to discard Mithrax as an option because he would simply not be suggesting these things. But who knows about the radiolaria's effects on people and transformation? Well, Asher does. However, I don't think Asher would suggest this either? Like, he may have the research, but I don't think he would ever make any implication that this would be good.

This was my thought process reading these. There's a lot of context missing and I can't wait to get back to them after the Echoes starts. I'm definitely leaning on this being Maya and don't have any other theories for who it might be. If anything, then another Ishtar scientist, but I doubt it they would put anyone other than Maya or Chioma here and it doesn't sound like Chioma nor does she have the "S" as her name.

I have no other theories for the "ally" either; my only other thought is Praedyth, whom Maya and the scientists met at one point and he helped them escape (?) the network. That was the whole deal in Aspect lore book + what seems to have been implied with the Starcrossed ending. Praedyth would also know a lot about the Vex to help with research, but he would equally not be someone thinking using Vex for a technological leap is good. Interestingly enough, a D1 quest somewhat implied Praedyth was part of the Future War Cult, which adds another layer of his connection to Maya.

The most of what I'm getting from this is that Echoes is going to be really damn cool.

[fictionadventurer]

Actually, religion is about community.

Spirituality is about you and God.

Religion is about how you apply those spiritual beliefs on a larger scale, and how you worship and live as a group with those shared beliefs.

"It's just between me and God " is how you get those "spiritual but not religious" people. Religion has to involve a wider community with shared beliefs and rituals.

Man was not made to be alone. Interacting with our fellow humans is a vital part of our spiritual lives. We can't just shut out other people because we don't like them. You don't have to be bestest friends holding hands and singing songs in one big happy "church family". But you are a part of the same group whether you like it or not, and you have a duty to love those people. Being part of a community within a religion keeps you from becoming self-centered, reminds you that there are other people with other ways of relating to God, whose example and insights can help you become holier than you might have been on your own.

Religion often naturally creates a community--sharing beliefs creates a common ground between people that those outside the group can't share. Religion also gives us the framework for how we're supposed to use our beliefs to engage with the wider community as citizens of the world.

Fellowship can't replace a personal spirituality. Making the community the main draw of a religion can make for a vapid, soulless group. But religion has to involve some kind of interaction as a group to qualify for the name, and community is an important way to make our personal spirituality have a real effect on the world.

[thequiver]

So Let's Talk about Pietro and Crystal...

In this meta I am going through Pietro Maximoff's relationship with Crystalia Amaquelin. This meta is not just going to focus on their interactions with one another but also on the ways that they talk about one another and on the culture/societal structure of the Inhumans and Crystal's privilege which are both major factors in this relationship. This reading list is going to have to be in parts just due to how much there is to talk about in these issues and I want to be able to share images freely! The only edits to any panels have been to arrange them in such a way that they easily fit in a tumblr post and to condense panels from the same comic into one image. The content of any panels has been unchanged, and all panels within the same image are displayed in they order they are found within the original printed comic.

Meta below the cut! This one's a doozy.

Pietro and Crystal's first meeting and then subsequent early courtship happens entirely off page between the events of The Avengers (1963) #104 and The Fantastic Four (1961) #131-132. Within The Fantastic Four (1961) #131 we get like little flashbacks in a handful of pages telling us that this has happened and giving us vignettes into how, but it doesn't really provide us with any particular details- which means that going into Fantastic Four (1961) #131, we know about as much as Johnny Storm (The Human Torch), Crystal's boyfriend.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #131

Which is to say that we know that he's come back from a mission only to discover that his girlfriend has been getting cozy with another guy. To Johnny's credit here, he's first mad at Crystal and not at Pietro who as far as we the reader can tell, had no idea that Crystal was dating the Human Torch. Pietro however.....despite clearly realizing that he's the side-piece is still defending Crystal and it's only after his defense of Crystal's decision to be a messy cheater that Johnny decides the two men have beef.

Within #131 we learn that Crystal found Pietro following some intense injuries sustained in a battle with a Sentinel (during a period of comics in which the Maximoff twins keep miraculously losing access to their mutant abilities at the drop of a hat for plot reasons?) and had nursed him back to health and during the days she spends at his bedside helping him recover, in which Crystal apparently decides he's the one while he's unconscious as the other Inhumans (particularly Medusa) around her begin to call her out on her reasons for wanting to stay by Pietro's bedside.

Crystal and Johnny have a conversation where she begs him for more time, and he reminds her (not unfairly) that she's had years of their relationship to think it over and that "if you don't love me- and only me- by now, it's time for me to read the handwriting on the wall." I'm not saying Pietro didn't see the red flags, I'm just saying he might be colorblind.

Within this issue we also get a taste of the Inhuman practice of slavery, wherein they place "Alpha Primitives" beneath them and we get to see the beginnings of an uprising (yay!), the uprising is presented as a bad thing and we're supposed to sympathize with the slavers (boo!). Johnny is portrayed here as being pro-slavery while Pietro is significantly more sensitive to the whole reality of their being enslaved. This being said, Pietro is still upset that the Alpha Primitives have taken Crystal captive and plans to save her, calling her "the girl I love." Johnny pretty rightfully points out that it's been only a few weeks of Crystal and Pietro knowing one another and Pietro....well...by this point we know he rushes into things. Pietro and Johnny run accidentally headfirst into each other during the revolt and Crystal is only concerned about Pietro's wellbeing and almost makes a threat against Johnny, even though it was Pietro who ran into the Human Torch.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #132 ends with Crystal basically going "this massive enemy that we've been fighting is powered by our own inherent guilt over being greedy enslaving racists (a guilt which has not been shown on page at ALL)." Somehow calling this out and actually triggering guilt does not at all further power their enemy but instead leaves him as an immobile statue and a reminder of how fucking racist they are- and then the Alpha Primitives are sent back down into the caves they live in without any form of reparations: "While the Alphas, free men now, return to their nighted catacombs...their own world...dark, but theirs no less for that. One day, they'll come again into the light and take a proffered brother's hand. One day...but not today." It should be noted, that the Inhumans do absolutely NOTHING to "proffer a brother's hand" in this issue, they just walk away from the Alphas and the Alphas go into their dark caves. In fact, the only Inhuman who seems to have had any kind of fondness for the Alphas is known shit-stirrer, Maximus who is kept in a perpetual open-air prison because none of them trust him. And Maximus was the one who built the machine that's supposedly powering Omega (the big enemy) but it's implied up until Crystal's speech that it is actual physical acts of violence against the Alphas that powers Omega.

Pietro ends this first big Crystal saga, brooding and moping because Johnny Storm has friends and he doesn't (he does...sorta, they're just not with him right now) , and Crystal breaks up with Johnny. And Johnny...does a complete 180 from #131 and is like "oh yeah actually I'm not at all upset that you cheated on me and I was hoping you'd break up with me and actually I have a date with my ex girlfriend tonight." Johnny does cry when he sees Crystal with Pietro, but that's really all we get for the end of their relationship. And for whatever reason the narrative seems to wrap itself around Crystal to make her look good.

Literally one issue later in The Avengers (1963) #110- this happens:

The Avengers (1963) #110

Within this issue Steve Englehart makes the BOLD move to position Pietro as some domineering patriarch when for literally every other appearance he's had with Wanda he has never ONCE positioned himself as "the head of our family." Pietro has up until this point been firm that he and Wanda are equals and just a few issues prior had issued the statement that he would never again even jokingly refer to her as "little sister."

Then in The Avengers (1963) #127, Pietro fails to invite the Avengers to his wedding with Crystal because he's fighting with Wanda and is deemed an "arrogant, posturing fool" by the Inhumans, we're told that Gorgon has "endured a great deal from Quicksilver...for many months." There's only one problem with that, in the blink and you'll miss it Pietro appearances that happen between The Avengers (1963) #110 and the current issue- (Marvel Team-Up (1972) #11 and The Incredible Hulk (1968) #175) We have seen Pietro be nothing but helpful to the Inhumans. And we have seen his help and expertise ignored when it comes to enemies he has fought previously. We have no indications whatsoever that Pietro has been anything but loving and focused on Crystal. It should also be noted that when Gorgon finds out that Pietro didn't invite the Avengers he starts nearly destroying Avengers Tower.

At the wedding, we learn that CRYSTAL HAS INVITED HER EX-BOYFRIEND, JOHNNY STORM, TO HER AND PIETRO'S WEDDING. Johnny is very much a mature adult about things and tells Crystal that if she's happy, he's happy for her. Which is great and lovely and another tick on the box for why I'm a Johnny Storm fan BUT-

The Fantastic Four (1961) #150A-B

Crystal is about to get married and is now suddenly confused about if she's happy or not? That little vague anxiety is never resolved in this wedding arc and in Fantastic Four (1961) #150B, Pietro and Crystal are married. But even the comic is aware that readers might not be thinking this is a happy ending and have an entire panel dedicated to trying to convince you this is happy.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #150A-B

Regardless, these early Pietro/Crystal appearances offer us even more insight into the bigotry on New Attilan. At the beginning of The Avengers (1963) #127, we're told that Black Bolt (who cannot speak) has issued a number of reforms meant to create equality between ALL Inhumans. But upon our first looks at the Alphas, the former slaves of the Inhumans, we see that they're talking of genocide. The genocide mention isn't really resolved here either.

We find out in Fantastic Four (1961) #158 that Pietro marrying Crystal was not enough for him to gain acceptance among his wife's people but that he had to be made an Inhuman by special decree. And yet- Pietro is chained and is willing to die for the Inhumans. "I am an Inhuman since the day of my marriage. From that day until forever, I will live or die- an Inhuman!" This is a sharp contrast to Pietro's issues with the concept of mutant identity that have previously been expressed in: Avengers (1963) #16, Uncanny X-Men (1963) #27, Avengers (1963) #45-49, and Uncanny X-Men (1963) #43A-45A. It's safe to assume that part of Pietro's undying and unearned loyalty to the Inhumans is based around his rushed relationship with Crystal.

I've mentioned above that I don't think Pietro didn't see the red flags, but that he might be colorblind and I'm going to go a little further into that here. Pietro falls in love with Crystal because she is kind to him and nurses him back to health and he's obviously very attracted to her. Crystal falls in love with Pietro while he is unconscious and dependent on her. Even though Pietro is aware that he's essentially Crystal's side-piece in this whole relationship kerfuffle from Fantastic Four (1961) #131-132, he's emboldened by the fact that Crystal chose him. Pietro struggles with self-worth issues (we can see these manifested as well in those mutant identity issues listed above) despite his bluster and pride, and we can see some of that desire and craving to be picked, to be worthy, to be loved, come through in The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) #71. But we've also seen so far, how Pietro's loyalty and love for these people who "picked him" by virtue of their princess "falling in love" with him, is largely one-sided as the Inhumans do NOT share his sentiments.

Case in point for Pietro's feelings and attachment to Cyrstal.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #159

Pietro interacts with the Avengers again in Avengers (1963) #137 where he's informed of Wanda's marriage to Vision and is asked to return to the Avengers and leave Crystal because of that marriage. It doesn't go as planned for the Avengers and Pietro refuses. He's putting Crystal above his old friends and family, and we're seeing that he's been interacting more with Crystal's friends and family than his own since they've gotten together.

With the advent of Inhumans (1975) Pietro starts to vocally realize that maybe... just maybe...the Inhumans don't like him very much. And Crystal tries to convince him otherwise.

Inhumans (1975) #3

A few issues pass, Pietro and Crystal are held for ransom, Pietro barely talks at all, Black Bolt screams and destroys the Great Refuge- and then randomly and all of a sudden, Crystal and Pietro are placed as regents of New Attilan? But even with this regency, it's clear that the Inhumans don't like Pietro. Crystal thinks that Pietro is "beyond reason" for questioning Black Bolt and the way that the Inhumans interpret his silence as royal edict. When Pietro makes solid points about how Black Bolt doesn't talk so he can't say anything.

Inhumans (1975) #7

And then in Inhumans (1975) #12, Crystal asks Pietro why he doesn't trust their new leader, and he speaks of the man's lust for power and Crystal goes "well even if his motives suck, he's making progress." She doesn't really take the time to even think through Pietro's point of view, instead meeting him with a "hope you're wrong." Spoiler alert- Pietro was not wrong as we discover in The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12. And even in that issue, where Crystal is telling the FF about how Pietro was right and how valiantly he fought to ensure the safety of the Inhumans against one who only wanted power- she refers to him as "not a true Inhuman," and in the same breath refers to herself as "I, his loyal wife." And in this same issue Pietro even says, echoing Crystal's earlier wording (which he wasn't even around to hear), "I may not be a true Inhuman, but these people are now my family and no one gets away with killing them." He's continuing to position the Inhumans and particularly the Inhuman royal family as his family, while they continue to keep a distance between them, with his wife referring to him as not a true Inhuman, and others making it clear that he is merely tolerated due to his marriage to Crystal.

Crystal isn't completely without merit here though, her words definitely shine light on one part of her thoughts on her husband, but she also shows extreme care for him and prioritizes finding him over the rest of her family when he's captured in The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12. This does however fall into her growing pattern of caring for Pietro more when he's dependent on her than when he's able to make his own choices.

And then, at the end of The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12, we see Crystal grab Johnny Storm's face, look like she's about to kiss him (while giving him "fuck me" eyes), and tell him that she's never going to stop loving him. Pietro sees them, and Johnny is clearly uncomfortable with Crystal's actions (as he has been this entire issue), and he and Pietro make "peace" despite neither of them being the issue here when Pietro basically tells him that he's okay because he's a friend of Crystal's and hopefully a friend of his too.

The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12

With the dawn of Korvac Saga, we get further confirmation that Pietro is deeply, deeply committed to Crystal. We start The Avengers (1963) #170 with Pietro gazing over New Attilan in a way that's recognized as sad, and then the following exchange happens:

The Avengers (1963) #170

Crystal makes a really great observation about how Pietro's marriage to her has tied him down and changed his life dramatically since his days as an Avenger, but Pietro refutes her concerns saying that what matters to him is that he has her, that he can support her in her place among her people, and is about to say that he'd never leave her when he's teleported elsewhere by agents unknown (at this point in the story at least ;)). This is literally the healthiest their relationship has been to date.

At some point after the Korvac Saga, Pietro rejoins the Avengers, sort of- he's an Avenger again for like a single issue, the whole rejoining thing happens off page, and then come Avengers (1963) #181, he's been kicked off the team and then passes out. In reality we find out that Pietro's soul has been stolen by Django Maximoff who has imprisoned his and Wanda's souls in wooden puppets of themselves. Pietro and Wanda go on a soul-searching journey with Django to discover the truth about their childhoods, learn more about their parentage and then return to Attilan.

It's on Attilan in The Avengers (1963) #188, that Pietro finds out he is going to be a father.

The Avengers (1963) #188

Following the pregnancy announcement, in Marvel Two-in-One (1974) #71, is the first time we see an Inhuman who isn't Crystal be spontaneously kind/nice to Pietro when Gorgon and Karnak invite Pietro to play a game with them. Crystal is also heavily pregnant in this comic so it's safe to assume that some time has passed and that as the pregnancy has continued the Inhumans have warmed some to Pietro's presence among them. With the importance we've seen them place on blood ties and Inhuman genetics in particular, this makes a lot of sense as Pietro is now not just married-in to the family, but is the father of the new member of the royal family.

The next time we see Pietro and Crystal is during Fantastic Four (1961) #239-240, where Pietro has become the sole defender of Attilan in a time of war when all of the Inhumans have come down with a mystery illness. During this time, Pietro continues to be extremely devoted to Crystal and deeply concerned about her health and the safety of their unborn child.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #239

During this great conflict when it seems to be resolved in Fantastic Four (1961) #240, we get another glimpse into the racism in Attilan. The Inhumans freeing those they formerly enslaved is described here as a "mistake," a "failure," and a "noble experiment." The Alphas are still inherently described as being "mindless drones" and as "less-than-human."

The Fantastic Four (1961) #240

It is into this continued dehumanization of the non-Inhuman on Attilan that Luna Maximoff is born. And Luna, is fundamentally not Inhuman nor Mutant at the time of her birth. But for now, Pietro is just concerned with his wife and daughter's health. He looks like the Grinch, but he's happy and that's what matters.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #240

Pietro's bond with Wanda has been repaired and his anger against Vision for existing has dissipated by the events of Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4, where Pietro encourages Vision to hold his daughter. We get a really great moment of seeing that Crystal and Wanda have started to form a friendship and that Pietro's two families (the one with his sister, and the one with his wife) are becoming closer.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4

But this is where things start to get a little dicey. Magneto, having recently discovered that he is the father of Pietro and Wanda, has now sought them out on Attilan (now moved to the moon) and is determined to try to once again get his children to join his Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (he's not picking up on the message they keep putting down smh). And throughout this fight, Wanda, Pietro, and Erik all make it clear that Erik has severely mistreated his children and that still, knowing he is their father, he is willing to harm and even kill them. Crystal is there- she is witness to this.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4

And what does Crystal do? But let Magneto hold the baby, before Magneto has even revealed himself to be Pietro's father.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4

Within the pages of Vision and the Scarlet Witch we don't really get to see Pietro's whole reaction to this incredibly traumatizing series of events, but never fear, Wanda recounts more of the story in Avengers (1963) #234 (TW- G slur).

Avengers (1963) #234

Again, all of this is happening in front of Crystal. There is absolutely no way she gets out of this conversation without the knowledge that Pietro and Wanda have been horribly abused by their father and that Pietro is on some level afraid of turning into Magneto and is aware of the temper he shares with the older man and has been actively combating it. It would be reasonable to think that Pietro might need time to process this information.

When we next see Pietro and Crystal it is during a battle on Attilan against the Avengers in Avengers (1963) # Annual 12, inspired by Maximus. Maximus is spared, as always, because Black Bolt loves him too much to actually do anything about the consistent and ever present threat the man poses to the safety and security of their people. (This is a surprise tool that will come back to bite them in the ass). And once again, this issue presents the Alphas as Maximus' allies, continuing to have the formerly enslaved be shown as enemies of the "good" Inhumans.

Pietro and Crystal's relationship goes from bad to worse in The Thing (1983) #3. In this comic, Pietro wishes to partake of his right as an Inhuman father and in the fashion of the Inhumans, his adopted people, expose Luna to the Terrigan mists to spark forth her Inhuman abilities- Crystal does not agree. Crystal brings in Ben Grimm (The Thing) to stop Pietro from following her people's customs in regard to their child, and sends her dog, Lockjaw (who is technically an Inhuman himself but that's never really explored?) to teleport the baby away from Pietro. Crystal's reasoning for not wanting to expose Luna to the mists? She's afraid her daughter will become ugly.

No seriously, that's the reason. Pietro is worried about his daughter's life as one who is both mutant and Inhuman, what her humanity will bring her among her two super-powered peoples. Crystal is worried about her looks. Pietro acquiesces to his wife's wishes following the testimony of their dog/friend(?) and Ben Grimm and is thoroughly painted in the wrong for wanting to raise his daughter as an Inhuman among Inhumans. At least the rest of the royal family was on his side this time?

Anyway, let's remember that Lockjaw is a person and has been a person this whole time and then think back on how Crystal has treated him. Based on Ben and Pietro's reactions to Lockjaw speaking it's also pretty clear that nobody who isn't an Inhuman was aware that Lockjaw was a person and not a dog......anyway....

The Thing (1983) #3

We get a completely different idea of Pietro's feelings towards the Inhumans in Marvel Fanfare (1982) #14B than what we've seen previously. In this issue, Pietro is openly critical of the bread and circus approach the Inhumans take with their ruling, and in a shocking turn of events from the last 20+ issues, explicitly says "I'm no Inhuman, and I give no obeisance to Black Bolt...or to your foolish traditions." Pietro is accused of stealing a royal scepter because he made a comment about not being a monarchist (based) and is lured into a trap by someone he thought was his friend who he has had to twice this issue turn down a proposition for sex from.

Marvel Fanfare (1982) #14B* *editorial says this issue takes place before Attilan is moved to the moon, however, Luna's birth occurred after the fateful move and she was named for the move which puts the actual chronology of this issue in question, but I'm keeping it here for an easy publication order chronology

We get a clear image, even clearer than it's been in the past that the Inhumans hate Pietro for...not being an Inhuman.

Do we all remember when Crystal literally brought in people who aren't even related to her child to stop Pietro from exposing Luna to the Terrigan mists because she might turn ugly? We all remember this? Okay great- because she's now adopted Pietro's anxieties in Avengers (1963) #243.

The Avengers (1963) #243

And though Crystal apparently doesn't trust Pietro's parenting choices she's come around to his same anxieties about Luna's human-ness. Pietro tries to support her and then she goes "well none of us have experience with a human baby, what if we just.... didn't deal with that and hired a nanny." And Pietro goes along with it, trying to track down Bova, his minotaur-esque nursemaid from his own childhood who he's only just learned about and has met but once.

We see Crystal and Pietro together again during the wedding of Black Bolt and Medusa, in Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 18. Where we see Pietro brooding over the wedding festivities. Here we learn that Pietro was given no role in his sister-in-law's wedding and that he is still continuously feeling like an outsider, despite all of the efforts we've seen him take in past appearances to be as much of an Inhuman as possible he is still kept at arms length even by these he considers family. Even Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) wonders at the differences between Pietro and Crystal's wedding and the wedding of Black Bolt and Medusa- and Reed wonders if the difference can't be attributed to the fact that Crystal chose to marry someone who was not an Inhuman. And it's a fair question. Pietro even asks Crystal if it's okay that he and their daughter stand beside her during the wedding.

The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 18

In Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #5, we see that Pietro has decided to introduce human traditions to the Inhumans with trick or treat, and that he plans to take Luna on her rounds, Crystal along with them of course.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #5

Then in Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #6 (that fateful Thanksgiving with the surprise Magneto appearance), we begin to see some strife between husband and wife. According to Crystal, she is "used to being alone." (She is literally a princess in a close-knit family who didn't even stop dating Johnny Storm to start dating her now-husband). And she adds that.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #6

The militia, being something Pietro had discussed with Wanda briefly in #5, is a new responsibility of his entrusted to him by the Inhumans. He is now responsible for training a militia intended for the protection of Attilan. It's the first real job he's had since getting with Crystal and the moment he has responsibilities and focuses outside of her, she's not happy. Also yes, Luna does look like a Renaissance baby in this panel.

A month later, in Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #7, we discover that Crystal, who started her relationship with Pietro by cheating on her then-boyfriend, is now cheating on her current husband.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #7

Now, I've shown you all the lead-up there is to her cheating. I've covered all of the Pietro and Crystal interactions, and touched base with every major Crystal appearance leading up to this. There isn't any rhyme or reason to this aside from, Pietro has a job and he's doing it. And beyond this, as we move into #8, we learn that Crystal is planning on spending more time on Earth, and from Pietro's perspective it's to spend time with Wanda, but really it's to cheat on him. Once again, the militia (Pietro's job) is very much cited as the reason for this.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #8

While Pietro runs off with Wanda, Vision, and Luke Cage to make sure that Wanda is safe for the duration of her pregnancy (it's a demon thing, Scarlet Witch stuff y'know?), we discover that Crystal is taking this opportunity to cheat on her husband again.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #8

Crystal's affair goes on for MONTHS, and even her boyfriend is more worried about what all this is doing to Pietro than she is. She overdoses on anti-pollution potion in order to continue to see her boyfriend, and Pietro spends the vast majority of his time at her bedside frantically trying to get someone to wake her up in deep concern for her wellbeing.

In #10, Crystal calls out her boyfriend's name in her sleep, confessing to the affair, and Pietro tries to kill him. He's stopped by Vision and the Inhumans, and then tries to rally his militia against Norm the real estate agent, the man who has stolen his wife's affections. Wanda confronts Norm and he gives her a sad speech about how Pietro is "neglectful" of his wife's needs and ends it with "I'm not making excuses for deceiving you, but you like your brother better than a lot of people do." Essentially saying "It's okay that she cheated on Pietro, because he's Pietro." Wanda then talks to Crystal's spirit and Crystal says "I cheated on Pietro! I'd do it again!"

Pietro and Vision talk and Pietro comments on how Crystal doesn't allow him to pursue any of his own interests, which tracks with what we've seen that now that Pietro is spending time with the militia she's determined him neglectful and is using it as justification to cheat on him. Throughout all of this too, the Inhumans confirm to Pietro that they think lesser of him because he isn't one of them.

Pietro decides that he can't take Crystal back after this betrayal of his trust (fair and reasonable) to which Crystal calls him a "self-righteous pig" and even Wanda insists that he must take her back because he loves her. And in issue #11, Vision claims that Pietro has "run out on his wife" and Wanda thinks poorly of him for establishing a boundary of not wanting to be around a woman who cheated on him. Meanwhile, Pietro is having a mental breakdown about the fact that nobody actually loves him and that the loyalty he shows to others is not reciprocated.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #11

And rounding us out in #12, Crystal tells Norm that she wants to keep seeing him and celebrates the fact that if Pietro stays away for a bit longer she'll be granted a divorce.

Here ends part 1 of the meta (stopping close to image limit at a good rest point) and I'll reblog this post with even more commentary at a later date!

Reading List so far:

The Fantastic Four (1961) #131-132 The Avengers (1963) #110 The Incredible Hulk (1968) #175 The Avengers (1963) #127 The Fantastic Four (1961) #150A-B <- Wedding Issue The Fantastic Four (1961) #158-159 The Avengers (1963) #137 Inhumans (1975) #3, 7, 12 The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12 Avengers (1963) #170, 188 The Fantastic Four (1961) #239-240 Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #2, 4 The Avengers (1963) #234, Annual 12 The Thing (1983) #3 Marvel Fanfare (1982) #14B Avengers (1963) #243 The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 18 Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #5-12

[mybutcheredtongue]

I'll Love You 'til the Grass Around My Gravestone is Deceased

harry potter timeline sirius black x fem!reader

CHAPTER EIGHT (see full series list here)

1993

On the first Thursday evening after school returns from the Christmas holidays, you leave the Astronomy Tower for the History of Magic classroom. Remus told you he was going to teach Harry how to cast a patronus and asked you to come along and help, and you're more than happy to do so. Anytime you get to spend with your godson is time well spent, and getting to hang out with Remus is just another plus.

You turn up and find Harry and Remus standing in the classroom, Remus heaving a large packing case onto Professor Binns' desk.

Harry gives you a bit of a surprised look and Remus smiles, greeting you with your name. "I hope you don't mind my inviting her, Harry, but she is an excellent witch who can cast a perfect patronus."

You roll your eyes with a smile, chuckling lightly as you look at Harry. "He's going to pretend as if he isn't an excellent wizard himself who can also cast a perfect patronus."

Remus huffs quietly, shaking his head, and Harry smiles back at you, before turning his attention to the large case on the desk. "What's that?"

"Another Boggart," Remus answers, stripping off his cloak. "I've been combing the castle ever since Tuesday, and very luckily, I found this one lurking in Mr Filch's filing cabinet. It's the nearest we'll get to a real Dementor. The Boggart will turn into a Dementor when he sees you, so we'll be able to practise on him. I can store him in my office when we're not using him; there's a cupboard under my desk he'll like."

"Okay," Harry says, sounding a little apprehensive.

"So..." Remus takes out his own wand, indicating that Harry should do the same. You follow suit, slightly unsure of whether you're going to be of any help when Remus seems to have this perfectly under control already. "The spell we are going to try and teach you is highly advanced magic, Harry — well beyond Ordinary Wizarding Level. It is called the Patronus Charm."

"How does it work?" Harry asks.

"When cast correctly, it conjures up a Patronus," you say. "A Patronus acts as a sort of guardian...it protects you from a Dementor, drives it away and places itself between you and the Dementor."

Remus nods, before saying, "The Patronus is a kind of positive force, a projection of the very things that the Dementor feeds upon — hope, happiness, the desire to survive — but it cannot feel despair, as real humans can, so the Dementors can't hurt it. But I must warn you, Harry, that the Charm might be too advanced for you. Many qualified wizards have difficulty with it."

"But you two can do the charm, right? Was it hard to learn for you too?" Harry asks curiously and you laugh.

"Very hard, but we were young and would do anything to avoid studying," you reply with a laugh, making Remus smile.

"That is very true," he says in agreement.

Harry nods, before asking, "What does a Patronus look like?"

"Each one is unique to the wizard who conjures it," Remus says.

"And how do you conjure it?"

"With an incantation, which will work only if you are concentrating, with all your might, on a single, very happy memory."

Harry pauses for a moment, clearly thinking hard, before saying a very concentrated "Right."

"The incantation is expecto patronum!" you say slowly.

"Expecto patronum," Harry repeats under his breath, "expecto patronum."

"Excellent! Concentrating hard on your happy memory?" Remus reminds him and Harry quickly nods, remembering what he was supposed to be doing.

"Oh — yeah — expecto patrono — no, patronum — sorry — expecto patronum, expecto patronum —"

A wisp of silvery gas suddenly whooshes out of the end of his wand and his face lights up excitedly.

"Did you see that?" he grins. "Something happened!"

"Incredible for your first lesson!" You encourage and Harry beams.

"Yes, very good," Remus says, smiling. "Right then — ready to try it on a Dementor?"

"Yes," Harry says confidently, gripping his wand tightly and moving into the middle of the classroom.

You stand to the side, wand at the ready, as Remus grasps the lid of the packing case and pulls. You watch as a Dementor rises slowly from the box, its hooded face turned towards Harry, one glistening, scabbed hand gripping its cloak. The lamps in the classroom flicker and then die out. The Dementor steps out of the box and starts to sweep in that sickeningly eerie Dementor way towards Harry, drawing a deep, rattling breath.

"Expecto patronum!" Harry yells desperately. "Expecto patronum! Expecto — "

Harry begins to falter, and his grip on his wand weakens so much that it drops from his hand and he too drops backwards to the floor.

You and Remus both spring to life, as Remus shouts a quick riddikulus! at the 'Dementor' and it morphs into a bright full moon, the lamps returning to their former glow with it.

You run to the boy lying flat in the middle of the room and gently shake his arm, saying, "Harry!" and snapping your fingers.

He quickly jerks back to life, looking around himself as he sits up, beads of sweat trickling down behind his glasses. You pull a handkerchief from your pocket and hand it to him with a small smile, and he accepts it gratefully, patting his face down with it.

"Sorry," he mutters.

"Are you all right?" You ask.

"Yes..." Harry pulls himself up on one of the desks and leans against it.

"Here — " Remus hands him a Chocolate Frog. "Eat this before we try again. I didn't expect you to do it the first time. In fact, I would have been astounded if you had."

"It's getting worse," Harry mutters, biting the Frog's head off. "I could hear her louder that time — and him — Voldemort — "

You glance at Remus, his face has turned pale and you inhale slowly, stomach churning.

"Harry," you say gently. "That's what Dementors do. They make you remember the worst memories, your worst fears...that way, you let your guard down and let your happy memories and feelings slip into their grasp. But if you keep that happiest memory strong in your mind, it'll protect you."

Harry seems to think about this for a moment, and Remus says, "Harry, if you don't want to continue, I will more than understand — "

"I do!" Harry says fiercely, stuffing the rest of the Chocolate Frog into his mouth. "I've got to! What if the Dementors turn up at our match against Ravenclaw? I can't afford to fall off again. If we lose this game we've lost the Quidditch Cup!"

Okay, James.

"All right then..." Remus says, slightly taken aback. You know he's thinking the exact same thing you are. "You might want to select another memory, a happy memory, I mean, to concentrate on...that one doesn't seem to have been strong enough..."

Harry moves to the middle of the classroom again, wand gripped firmly in his hand.

"Ready?" Remus asks, gripping the lid of the packing case.

"Ready," Harry replies.

"Go!" Remus says, pulling off the lid. Once again, the lamps flicker out and it gets icily cold, sending shivers down your spine. The Dementor glides forward towards Harry, drawing its rattling breath and extending one rotting hand out to him.

"Expecto patronum!" Harry yells. "Expecto patronum! Expecto pat —"

Once more, Harry's face goes blank and he tumbles to the ground, dropping his wand in the process. He lays on the ground, shaking, his face contorting in pained expressions and you move to him again while Remus quickly sorts out the Boggart, coming to his side too.

"Harry! Harry, dear, wake up..." you say, tapping him hard on the face. He opens his eyes, looking very disorientated, looking around like he doesn't know where he is. Then he shakes his head slightly and clears his throat.

"I heard my dad," he mumbles. You feel your heart start to ache. "That's the first time I've ever heard him — he tried to take on Voldemort himself, to give my mum time to run for it..."

You notice glistening tears wetting Harry's face, and when he bends down to do up his shoelace, they've been wiped off.

"You heard James?" Remus says quietly, almost as if he's forgotten where he is. You glance up at him, catching the sad look in his eyes.

"Yeah..." Harry looks up at Remus. "Why — you didn't know my dad, did you?"

"I — I did — we did, as a matter of fact," Remus says quickly, gesturing to you. "We were friends at Hogwarts. Listen, Harry — perhaps we should leave it here for tonight. This charm is ridiculously advanced...I shouldn't have suggested putting you through this..."

"No!" Harry cries, getting up again defiantly. "I'll have one more go! I'm not thinking of happy enough things, that's what it is...hang on..."

There's a brief moment of silence as Harry racks his brain for an even happier memory than his last.

"Ready?" Remus says, though you can tell he's doing this against his better judgment. You give him a look and he grits his teeth. "Concentrating hard? All right — go!"

He pulls off the lid and the Dementor emerges again.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" Harry bellows. "EXPECTO PATRONUM! EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

To your shock, a huge, silver shadow bursts from the end of Harry's wand, hovering between him and the Dementor. Though Harry has nearly produced a proper Patronus, he begins to sway again and you spring forward, roaring, "Riddikulus!"

There's a loud crack and Harry's wispy Patronus disappears along with the Dementor and he sinks into a chair, legs shaking. You're no longer focused on him though, because once you've stepped in front of the Boggart it contorts into a familiar figure.

Sirius Black stands before you, dressed in an Azkaban prisoner's clothes, filthy and grubby. His long curls which you once loved running your fingers through are greasy and matted, and his face is sunken and pale. His eyes are wide, staring at you, and his face twists into a cruel smile.

"It was me," he says, though the voice isn't his. This voice is full of cruelty, malice, and even though it sounds like him, you know it's not.

No, no. This isn't real. You know this isn't real. Why are your eyes stinging? Why is the ability to breathe suddenly lost on you?

His body starts to shake in silent laughter. "You are so fucking stupid. I never even cared about — "

"Riddikulus!"

You blink. Remus is forcing the Boggart back into its packing case with his wand; it has turned into the moon again.

Remus gives you a quick once-over from where you stand, stock-still, staring at the packing case. He chooses instead to focus on Harry, forcing a smile. "Excellent! Excellent, Harry! That was definitely a start!"

"Eat the lot, or Madam Pomfrey will be after my blood. Same time next week?"

You stand, staring at the packing case. You don't even know what's going on, you've completely zoned out, thinking only of the 'man' that was in front of you mere moments ago.

"If you knew my dad, you must know Sirius Black too."

You snap out of your daze, spinning around to face Harry and Remus.

"What gives you that idea?" Remus says sharply. You remain silent.

"Nothing — I mean, I just knew that they were friends at Hogwarts, too..."

"Yes, I knew him," Remus says shortly, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. "Or I thought I did. You'd better get off, Harry, it's getting late."

Harry turns to you, Lily's eyes staring at you inquisitively. "And you, Professor...your Boggart..."

"Yes, well, yes, it's him," you reply curtly. "It shouldn't be a shock that I am afraid of a...a crazed — " your mind runs wild trying to find any words, "— um...a — a man like that."

"But you did know him?"

"Yes. Really, Harry, Professor Lupin is right...bed, now. You have class in the morning." You turn around, suddenly busying yourself with something on Binns' desk.

Harry hesitates for a moment before you hear him leave behind you, the door closing and leaving you alone with Remus.

You sigh gently and look up at him. He says nothing, just opens his arms and envelopes you in a comforting hug.

"Perhaps it's best to let you handle the Boggarts from now on?" You joke with a weak smile and Remus chuckles lightly.

"I think you might be right."

✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

January turns to February. Harry's all-important Ravenclaw game draws nearer, and Harry seems to grow more frustrated at each unsuccessful Patronus lesson. However, with each try, even though he doesn't know it, he is making progress.

"You're expecting too much of yourself," Remus says sternly in your fourth week of practice. "For a thirteen-year-old wizard, even an indistinct Patronus is a huge achievement. You aren't passing out any more, are you?"

"I thought a Patronus would — charge the Dementors down or something," says Harry dispiritedly. "Make them disappear — "

"The true Patronus does do that," Remus replies. "But you've achieved a great deal in a very short space of time. If the Dementors put in an appearance at your next Quidditch match, you will be able to keep them at bay long enough to get back to the ground."

"Besides, we'll be there too. You have nothing to worry about," you say with an encouraging smile.

"But you said it's harder if there are loads of them."

"We have complete confidence in you," Remus says, smiling. "Here — you've earned a drink. Something from the Three Broomsticks, you won't have tried it before — "

He pulls three gold bottles from his briefcase and Harry's face lights up.

"Butterbeer!" says Harry. "Yeah, I like that stuff!"

Harry, the boy who has never set foot in Hogsmeade?

You give him a sceptical look.

"Oh — Ron and Hermione brought me some back from Hogsmeade," Harry says quickly, smiling awkwardly.

"I see," Remus says, though he looks equally as suspicious as you. "Well, let's drink to a Gryffindor victory against Ravenclaw! Not that I'm supposed to take sides, as a teacher..." he adds hastily and you snort, rolling your eyes.

"Once a Gryffindor, always a Gryffindor, Remus," you say with a wink and he shakes his head amusedly.

You take a sup from your Butterbeer, the room quiet as you all drink, before Harry breaks the silence by saying, "What's under a Dementor's hood?"

Remus lowers his bottle thoughtfully. "Hmm...well, the only people who know are in no condition to tell us. You see, the Dementor only lowers its hood to use its last and worst weapon."

"What's that?"

"They call it the Dementors' Kiss," you answer with a small shudder. "It's terrible. It's what the Dementors do when they want to utterly destroy someone. There's some kind of mouth under that hood because they attach their jaws to the mouth of the victim and...suck out their soul."

Harry accidentally spits out his Butterbeer. "What — they kill — ?"

"Oh, no," Remus says. "Much worse than that. You can exist without your soul, you know, as long as your brain and heart are still working. But you'll have no sense of self any more, no memory, no...anything. There's no chance at all of recovery. You'll just — exist. As an empty shell. And your soul is gone forever...lost."

Remus drinks a little more Butterbeer, then says, "It's the fate that awaits Sirius Black. It was in the Daily Prophet this morning. The Ministry has given the Dementors permission to perform it if they find him."

You nearly choke on your drink, placing it down on the table as you cough. "What?"

"Did you not see that?" Remus asks in confusion and you shake your head, stunned.

"No, I didn't," you respond dejectedly. "I — I slept in this morning, missed the post — meteor shower last night..."

"He deserves it," Harry says suddenly.

You turn to him, shocked. "Harry!" you say breathlessly, looking down at the wooden desk.

"You think so, Harry?" Remus says lightly. "Do you really think anyone deserves that?"

"Yes," says Harry defiantly. "For...for some things..."

"It's inhumane," you spit. "If you knew half of what goes on in Azkaban, you would think it is punishment enough."

Harry doesn't respond to that, just thanks you both for the lesson and Remus for the Butterbeer before leaving.

As soon as he's gone you turn to Remus. "The Kiss?"

"I thought you had read it," Remus says apologetically, looking very guilty. "I would have told you otherwise."

"It's fine, Moony, really...I don't care about that. Just...like, what the fuck? This is just great. Exactly what I needed to hear. What a brilliant year this has been!" You say bitterly, standing up from your seat and running a hand down your face, laughing humourlessly. "Just fucking brilliant."

→ all kinds of interaction are appreciated ♡

✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

->-> read chapter nine here!

[iamthat-iam]

Let's address the elephant in the room shall we~~~

Invasion of privacy! HUGE issue that has been normalized on this app and I know for a fact wouldn't fly on other apps like IG, FB, Twitter or Tik Tok

Your "seeming journey" is supposed to be about YOU! It's like people hold bloggers to such a high standard like we're not allowed to react to disrespect, we're not allowed to defend ourselves, we're not allowed to have any type of privacy!

Even when I was still into LOA, I didn't judge content creators for having a "human" moment or reacting emotionally to situations. I didn't go out of my way to STALK their social media to figure out if they were fake or "catfishing" or not. I didn't do any of that, I was just focused on the TEACHINGS. Same thing when I joined the ND community. I was focused on the POINTERS.

Some of y'all should hit up Nev from Catfish and apply for a job with all the detective work y'all be doing 😭

Are you kidding me? I just find it funny that no one actually tries to debunk what bloggers ARE ACTUALLY TEACHING, but they try and find some character flaw (lying about their identity or their experiences) so they can ""cancel"" them.

Reminds me of when I joined the ND community, NOT EVEN A MONTH IN people ran to find my old YouTube channel where I talked about the void state, and were mad because I didn't want to talk about it on my blog 💀 a mess fr. Let us live!!

How hard is it to mind your own business? Seriously. We all get so many asks from people who desperately want to improve situations they're in, they desperately want to feel the oneness and omnipotence that we feel. If they would invest the amount of energy they put into trying to prove bloggers are fake into HELPING THEMSELVES, and LOOKING AT WHAT WE'RE POINTING TO, we would not be in this predicament now.

[mimisempai]

Our invisible scars

Summary

Aziraphale and Crowley have no visible scars, but the ones you can't see are the ones that hurt the most. Fortunately, each is the other's healing balm.

Notes

50 Types of Kisses - Writing Prompts - Complete!!!

Last kiss: A kiss, followed by more that trail down the jaw and neck.

On Ao3

Rating G -  1327 words

When Crowley entered the bookshop, he immediately sensed from the quality of the silence that something was wrong.

He called softly, "Angel?"

"I'm here." 

Aziraphale's voice came from further inside the bookshop, so the demon stepped forward and was astonished to find the angel sitting on the sofa, elbows on knees, head in hands.

Though the sofa now often welcomed both of them, it was almost common knowledge that it was the place of Crowley and the armchair belonged to Aziraphale.

Now absolutely certain that something was wrong with his angel, the demon came to sit beside him and asked softly, "What's wrong, Angel?"

The angel straightened up and replied quietly, "Nothing serious. I just had a little talk with Muriel about scars."

Crowley, confused at first, asked, "Scar?" then grabbed the Angel's hand and continued, now worried, "Did you hurt yourself? You have a wound I don't know about? But how? What happened?"

Aziraphale smiled faintly before replying, "Don't worry, I've got nothing.  After all, we don't mark, we're angels and demons. In fact, this was the subject of our discussion with Muriel: they had trouble understanding the concept of having a scar, the human concept. And so, as I explained it to them, I realized that you and I have our share of scars, even if they aren't visible."

The angel's expression darkened as he added, "Even if they aren't, the memory of the injury is very present and is like a visible scar, the reminder of the wound that was here. Not completely healed."

It was then that the demon understood what the angel meant and nodded before gently taking his lover's hand and waiting for him to continue. 

Aziraphale intertwined his fingers with the his lover's before resuming, "Talking to Muriel made me realize how much Heaven had scarred us, all of us. And I couldn't help but think that you probably had the biggest scar of them all, and especially that I had contributed to rubbing salt into it for many years."

Crowley understood absolutely nothing of what the angel had just said and looked at him in complete confusion as he said, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

The angel squeezed the demon's hand and explained, "You were cast out of heaven. You went from being an angel to being a demon, and every time you told me about something you'd done, I told you it was normal because it was your nature, because you were a demon, while all I did was reopen the wound, over and over again, without allowing it to close. I'm sor-"

Aziraphale was unable to continue because Crowley had swiftly removed his hand from his and had just grabbed him by the shoulders, holding him firmly before saying in an almost harsh tone, "You're torturing yourself for this? Angel, if you only knew, it's been so long since that scar healed. And it's thanks to you. Your trust when I was supposed to be your enemy, your acceptance of who I was when we met again. Do you think I really took it to heart every time you told me that it was in my nature as a demon? No, because despite your words, I knew we were on the same side, that you had my back as much as I had yours. In fact, I think you've got it all wrong. The one with the most scars, or the deepest scars left by Heaven, is you, Angel."

"Crowley, it's not true, I didn't--"

The demon shook his head to stop him and replied, "Don't tell me it's not true."

He placed his hand gently on the angel's chest and said more softly, "This here, this sweet heart, has endured the bullying of Heaven for more years than it takes to say it. You've endured belittlement, condescension, scorn far more often than I have, and by your own. From those who were supposed to be on your side, more than from me, who was supposed to be your enemy. I don't care if they say I'm a demon, that it's in my nature to do evil. I know who I am. As long as I have your trust and love, the rest doesn't matter. You forced yourself to do what they wanted, even when it seemed unfair, and when you dared to think outside the box, they just tried to put you back in it. All of this was like a wound that never had time to heal, reopening over and over for thousands of years."

The demon watched the angel swallow several times before he let out a long sigh. Then Aziraphale placed his hand on Crowley's still on his chest and said in a voice slightly hoarse with emotion, "But it healed. Thanks to you."

The demon shook his head, but the angel continued insistently, "You healed it and you continue to heal it, Crowley, with every little word of praise, every kind word buried under a layer of humor, every time you encouraged me to just be outside the box. For 10,000 little wounds inflicted by Heaven, you, your presence, every time, was the saving balm that took the sting out of it all. So no matter how much I suffered, I knew you would ease the pain."

The angel raised the demon's hand to his lips to press a long kiss to the palm. But as he moved to release it, Crowley slid his hand to the back of the Angel's neck and pulled his face closer to his own, crushing his lips against the angel's. 

The kiss, tender at first, soon became fierce, each clutching the other's face as if each were the other's lifeline.

Then, little by little, the frenzy of the kiss gave way to something gentler, and Crowley's hands slid from the angel's neck to his shoulders before gently pushing him back until the angel had no choice but to lie back on the sofa. Crowley, for his part, moved so that he was lying on top of Aziraphale, both elbows framing the face lit by a small, trembling smile.

The demon, visibly moved, pressed a light kiss to the angel's lips and said softly, "All these scars, I wish I could kiss them away one by one.

His gaze was caught by a tear rolling down the angel's cheek, and he wiped it away with his lips, beginning a trail of kisses that spread along the cheek to the angel's jaw before following the curve down to the hollow of his neck.

Once there, the demon straightened and placed his hands on the first button of the angel's shirt, looking him straight in the eye. 

Aziraphale, understanding the silent question, simply nodded.

Crowley smiled gently at him before opening his shirt, button by button. He didn't undo all the buttons, just enough to expose the angel's chest. 

Then the demon leaned forward and said softly, "I wish I could kiss it better," then closed the distance between his lips and the bare chest and planted a long kiss on it.  

He let the kiss linger until he felt Aziraphale's hands rest on his head and the angel forced him to lift it, saying softly, "That's what you do, you kiss it better, and that's long before you put your lips here."

Aziraphale ran his thumb over the demon's lips before pulling him up and saying softly, "Come here."

He drew Crowley's face to his and planted a soft kiss on his lips before wrapping his arms around his lover to hold him close. The demon buried his face in the angel's neck and slid his hand between their pressed bodies, right where he'd kissed him on the chest. On his wounded heart. Between their wounded hearts.

They stayed like that for a long time, in an embrace that did more than words to soothe the scars the past had left in their hearts.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable kisses series : here

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here

Ineffable Growing Love - Series post S2

Part 1 Story 1-99

Part 2 Story 100-?

[tfyoulookingatgiuxs]

New episode, new trauma, new tears and we return to a psychiatrist. No okay, I'll stop. The eighth episode of the second season of Helluva Boss is out: "Full Moon" we've all been waiting for it for a long time, Vivienne made us sweat it, but we're finally here to talk about it together and give our opinions on the episode. I warn you that I have no intention of putting the show in a bad light, because I love this series and I'm just here to express my opinions on it. With that said, let's get started.

We can start by saying that the length of the episode is neither too long nor too short, so initially I didn't know what to expect other than getting the tissues ready. The beginning of the two lovers singing reminded me a bit of those Disney songs, to be precise the one from Frozen, I know it's silly to say but think about it. Stolas sings a sad song where he says that what he is doing is right and that he is afraid of dying alone and ruining everything, while Blitz is just happy and horny and shows no concern at seeing Stolas again after not seeing each other for a long time. The song is nice, and it already helps me understand that this meeting will happen and that along with it there will also be a discussion (as if we didn't already know it before but let's move on). However, most of the time the episode focuses on the enemies of the series that we left in the first season. That is, the Cherubs and the DORKS.

I can say that I was expecting their return because especially with our agents we had been left hanging, after they had caught the demons while fighting in episode six of the first season. In fact, this led the two to strengthen themselves and have a larger headquarters complete with a military base and an army of priests. I'm not saying that they are enemies to be feared in terms of physical strength, but certainly because of their aces up their sleeves. I would like to point out to you that DORKS now have an access to the hell world, which is really risky for humans. Okay, yes, the portal is small, but it is still too large an access that cannot be put into human hands. Speaking instead of the Cherubs, well... then, I'm not saying that I wasn't expecting their return, but I was expecting it in hell. These little angels were kicked out of heaven for mistakenly killing a human they were supposed to save. I don't see blocking them on earth as a reasonable choice, it would have been more sensible to send them to hell. But then I thought: "Maybe it works like in Hazbin Hotel." If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll refresh your memory! In HH (Another work by Vivienne located in the same universe) Sir Pentious, to deserve heaven, died sacrificing himself for his friends. So I thought the same thing goes for the Cherubs. As long as the members of the I.M.P do not kill them, they will remain stationary on earth and will never fall into hell as they deserve. The Cherubs are now no longer as powerful without their angelic bows, although together with our imps they are two much lower ranked species - so it might even be a fair fight - but they are not as powerful as they could be before, so I see them at the moment irrelevant because they are not enemies to be feared, and I can say that they are lucky not to be dead yet. Although, I can say that their trip to the Lust ring made me laugh a lot, as they looked at the Sex Toys store with shocked faces.

GUYS LOOK IT'S FIZZ✨️ MY BABY🥹

Okay - back to us. Here we come to the crucial moment we've all been waiting for, the meeting between Blitz and Stolas. Please know that when I saw all this I didn't know how to react and even now I can't explain to you how I feel about it. Stolas here was heartbroken to walk away from Blitz, but knows it's the right thing for both of them. He always wanted a relationship with him, with his first friend, and he thought he was succeeding after seeing him again for a long time, but he knew that deep down this was a forced relationship, a sexual relationship with benefits on both sides, and therefore Blitz was forced to stay with Stolas and he didn't want that. With the crystal of Asmodeus he revealed his feelings and how he cared about him, using a calm and comforting tone, given that from the beginning he was afraid of ruining everything. Here in this thread Blitz takes it for role play, but only after he realizes he's serious does he start to get angry, not because he did anything wrong, but just because he was dumping him and ignoring him while he was trying to express himself.

Blitz from the beginning has always been with Stolas to receive something, even when his father "sold" him as entertainment for little Stolas in the episode "The Circus", let's remember the first episode of this season. But Blitz had gotten on well with Stolas and didn't hate him in any way, in fact perhaps he thought he had made a friend that he didn't want at first. Unfortunately, however, as Blitz grew up, with everything he went through, he put negative things about himself into his head, things that perhaps people told him, things that unfortunately he wasn't able to handle and therefore others identified him as an asshole. So he just behaved as usual knowing that sooner or later everyone will take flight and leaving him alone, something he said in episode six of the first season: "Truth Seekers". So Blitz's way of reacting is the consequence of everything he's been through. It's obvious that he doesn't believe what Stolas says when he tells him that he would have wanted a relationship with him, because no one loves him and therefore he wouldn't see why Stolas should do it. When he yells at him he cries because the fact that Stolas was dumping him hurts him, because even if he is with him for selfish purposes, he was MAYBE fond of that bond. I say maybe because until now Blitz has never confessed that he loves Stolas, but even if he did he would hide it because once again he doesn't believe that anyone could love someone like him. Blitz has always had a bad view of royals, which we can also see in episode six of this season: “OOPS.” When Blitz reveals to Fizz that the royals are all the same and that they treat their own kind (the imps) inferior. Maybe he learned this thing growing up from his father, we don't really know why Blitz has this bad vision of high-ranking demons, I can only think that he experienced it as a child with his father. I don't justify the way Blitz reacted because he could have been more calm like Stolas was, but here we must also point out that our owl demon did not want communication with him. What he said to him is definitely horrible, because he didn't expect these thoughts from him. But saying goodbye to him and teleporting him out wouldn't have made things any better. Ask yourself why he thinks that way! Speak. If it ended badly it's because there was very little communication here, but also remembering that in their entire relationship they never spoke seriously, not even about the stupidest thing. If you remember, in "Western Energy" the fourth episode of this season, in the scene where Stolas is in the hospital we can see all the messages they exchanged, from the Ozzie's incident up to that moment. There we can see that it was Blitz who didn't want to have some kind of discussion/argument with Stolas, always responding with curt answers and implying that he didn't want to talk. Here it is Stolas who does not engage in the discussion, distraught by the imp's abrupt words. I'm not blaming Stolas, but I'm pointing out that if there would have been more communication, things would have ended differently. Ultimately, they both cared about each other: Stolas because he thought about giving freedom to the little imp and Blitz because he doesn't accept the "separation" with him. Because a normal demon in Blitz's place would not have cared that they would never see each other again because now he can carry on with his business without necessarily having the grimoire, therefore being able to easily access the earth without problems. But the fact that he reacted and that he even let off steam by crying, I find it painful for him who is growing little by little and significant. Stolas has also grown and we have all seen and appreciated this. For me there is no best or worst because they are characters who have a lot to tell and I can't wait to see them again.

What do you think of this episode? If I have to be honest (don't kill me) I wasn't thrilled. In the end the conversation between Stolas and Blitz lasts only five minutes and as mentioned before, due to the lack of communication there wasn't anything that justified my hype for the release of the episode. It was certainly destined to end like this, leaving us on tenterhooks, but it wasn't as tough as I expected. I thought the episode would focus only on them, but by putting the cherubs and DORKS fighting with the rest of the I.M.P I found it a little pointless, I mean I didn't expect to see it in this episode! Obviously I don't want to judge or say that this episode sucks, absolutely not! For me Vivienne will always be an artist to love and I don't judge her for a single episode. For me the other episodes of this season hold many more surprises, but in case I'm wrong then I might reevaluate this episode. But in my humble opinion I would have preferred it to be shorter so as to focus only on the two. Anyway, this is where our conversation ends! I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think and what rating you would give to this episode. For me it's a 7/10, beacuse i still crying-😔

-Sorry for my english!!

[mydisenchantedeulogy]

Candy Coated [Chapter Seven] Xs and Os [Buddha]

A/n: thank you all for the support and patience. The art above was created by the talented Somanoko on AO3.

Warning(s): anxiety, animal death, humiliation, mentions of human extinction, female reader (though I do my best to leave out pronouns), comfort.

Tag list: @useless-potatho , @tojibreedingme , @quinloki , @yingxian, @2lottie2, @lunas-nova , @anduinandwrathionlover, @tiredfairy, @the-queen-of-sorrows , @alientee, @lawlietliet, @hanaibea, @69your-best-night-mare69

Your nerves are a complete mess as you get ready for the important meeting that Buddha had invited you to. For some strange reason, you aren't bought with the idea that he wants you there simply because the two of you are tethered, but it's not in your nature to nag him about his plans, so for now, you let it go. 

Opting for an outfit, the Buddha recently had made for you, with comfort in mind, you quickly dress and then leave the confines of your room, sauntering toward the main hall where the God in question is waiting, having what seems to be a serious conversation with Jataka. 

Upon approaching them, the former turns to you and grins. 

"Are you ready to go?"

"I suppose so," you answer. 

Your eyes turn to Jataka in question. 

"Are you going with us?"

"Unfortunately not," the man in question answers. He gives you a gentle smile. "This meeting is meant only for the Gods."

Knowing this puts an even heavier strain on your nerves. What reason does Buddha want you to go? A comforting hand on your shoulder turns your attention to Jataka, who smiles at you. 

"So long as you listen to Siddhartha everything will be fine."

You know this, but it does little to make you feel better. Thanking him, you force a smile and turn to Buddha, giving him a nod. He offers you his hand, warm against your own, and within seconds the scrolls appear, transporting you both. 

It takes but a few seconds to arrive and once you do, the anxiety you feel only worsens. The sound of chatter feels your ears; a noise that easily overwhelms you. Tightening your jaw, you glance around to see that you and the Buddha are in an ornate hall with a gorgeous marble floor, one that reminds you of the Valhalla Arena.

"Where are we?" You ask. 

"The Council Chamber," Buddha answers in a bored tone. "We're here as part of the Council of Valhalla."

You hum. It sounds similar to the Assembly Hall, used to house the United Nations. Perhaps it's similar in the aspect of protecting each of the God Realms. You aren't sure, but you know that you aren't meant to be here.

Releasing your hand, much to your annoyance, Buddha saunters down the hall in the direction of the noise. You rush to his side, allowing him to lead, but at the top of some stairs, overlooking an enormous circular room, you pause in fright. There are thousands of seats and each one is occupied by a God or Goddess.

Despite the composure you struggle to maintain, your mind is racing with thoughts.

There are so many Gods. I'm going to make a complete fool out of myself in front of them and I know it.

Buddha glances over his shoulder once he realizes that you aren't following him down the stairs and offers you a smile. An air of peacefulness surrounds you a moment later and though it eases your nerves, enough to help you move forward, you are still losing your shit.

Please don't let me trip down these stairs. Who needs this many steps anyway? This is ridiculous.

"Is that a…human?" A hushed voice asks. 

Your legs feel numb. Of course, someone would notice. You ignore them, reaching out to grasp your soulmate's shirt. He leads you down to a section where several familiar Gods sit, one of which is Ganesha, the Hindu God of success, who comes across as a short overweight man with an elephant head.

"Are each of these from the Hindu Pantheon?" You ask in a whisper to Buddha. 

He tosses his feet up on the table in front of him and nods. 

"Relax. It won't be long."

You attempt to, but you feel eyes all over you. Glancing ahead, due to the way the seats are arranged, you can see a raised circular platform at the base of the stairs. Resting on it, behind a gorgeous ornate throne and a small table is what appears to be a large horned lizard. You've never seen anything like it. 

You consider asking Buddha what it is, but a frail old man totters toward the throne, catching your attention. A small tuft of spiky gray hair sits on top of his head and when he sits on the throne, you notice that his eyes are sunken. It's hard to tell where he's staring but for a moment a sense of dread consumes you, turning your stomach. It almost feels like he's looking at you, but just as quickly as it happens, it passes. You take an uneasy breath, watching as the old man pets the lizard's head. 

"Who is h-he?" You ask in a whisper. 

"The old man? That's Zeus," Buddha answers. He grins and nudges you with his arm. "Scary, isn't he?"

No kidding. He's an A-lister God. The Father of the Cosmos. 

"Does he rule over the other Gods?" You ask.

Buddha bursts into a laugh, making you regret asking. The feeling of being watched intensifies and you plead with him to stop in fear of drawing too much attention. 

"He's just the chairman," he clarifies, raising his glasses to clear the tears from his eyes.

This explains why he's sitting before the others. You sigh. This entire ordeal is nerve-wracking.

Retrieving a gavel from the table beside him, Zeus quietens the room.

"Now then…my fellow Gods," he announces. "It's been a thousand years since we held one of these. Let us begin the conference."

You raise a brow. A thousand years. What sort of conference could this be? 

"Now…I ask you all, shall we give humanity another millennium of existence?" Zeus asks as he raises two paddles. One has a circle on it and the other has an X. "Yay…or nay? Do we put an end to them? Let each God show their will."

His tone seems to darken, sending shivers down your spine. You can hardly believe him. This is a serious matter. The fate of humanity depends on this. In horror, you listen as the Gods around you debate the situation. 

"I say end them," a nearby voice declares. 

You widen your eyes and turn your attention to the God; a muscular man with indigo skin and four arms. His short black hair falls to one side as he turns on the lavish pillow he rests on, lifting two paddles with the X on them. 

"I've been watching them closely and they've shown no signs of improvement. It's a total drag trying to guide them."

You clutch your hands into a fist. What does he know? Of course, humans are vile; they murder and destroy; spread sorrow and illness in their wake, but the Gods aren't perfect either. Perhaps it's because you are a human soul that it angers you so much. Not everyone deserves to perish, a notion that doesn't seem to be shared by the Gods. 

"Let's wipe the slate clean…and let some other species evolve," the four-armed God states in a sing-song voice. 

"Indeed…Shiva is right," another God agrees, a gorgeous woman. Her curly blonde hair is decorated with flowers and hangs over her shoulder. "The past thousand years have seen the world become increasingly ugly. Trash and oil in the seas. The forests, gone. Entire species extinct. Humankind itself is a cancer eating away at life on Earth. Or perhaps I should say…they're a plague that will bring about their own end." 

She isn't wrong, but it makes the Gods no better to wipe out all of humanity. Would it be wrong to allow them to destroy themselves? 

You sit and listen for someone to stand up and rise against them, but no one does. Not even Buddha. You glance at him in disbelief but he doesn't look at you. The paddle rests on his lap as if he's debating what to do.

Someone has to do the right thing. This can't be it. 

Taking the paddle from him, you raise it above your head with the opposite vote, ready to argue your decision, but Buddha grabs your hand and holds it down.

"Not yet," he utters. 

You don't follow.

"I'm a human despite being dead. I can't just–"

"That's exactly why they won't listen to you," Buddha interrupts. He turns to you and smiles. "Trust me. Wait a bit longer."

You want to argue with him, but he has a point. Sliding your hand from his, you turn your attention to Zeus, who raises the gavel.

"It appears we have a decision," he states. "And so…I hereby declare an end to–" 

"One moment sir!" A familiar voice shouts. 

You lean forward and glance over the back of the seat to see Brunhilde and Göll standing at the top of the stairs. 

What are they doing here?

All eyes turn to them and you watch in anticipation as they descend the stairs; Göll is shaking in fear, but you know that Brunhilde is just better suited at hiding hers.

"With reverence to the Gods, I humbly ask I be allowed to say a few words," the dark-haired Valkyrie urges.

"You and your manners Brunhilde!" A voice croaks. 

In the stands to the northwest of the throne, you notice a pair of ravens, one white and one black perched on a bearded man's shoulder. You recognize him, or rather you have heard of him before.

"That's Odin, right? And his ravens Huginn and Muninn."

"You identified him easily," Buddha utters with a pout.   

Of course, you did. He looks a bit like the images you have seen of him. Not to mention Welsh actor Anthony Hopkins set the image in your mind for him in 2011's 'Thor'. Buddha didn't look much like the man you had read about. Ignoring him for now, you focus on the matter at hand.

"Humanity's insolence and savagery is indeed unpardonable," Brunhilde remarks, agreeing with the Gods. "However simply annihilating them is so…cliche. Does humanity deserve to exist for another thousand years? May I suggest testing them? You can even display your divine might and mercy while doing so."

Is this what Sakata Kintoki had been referring to? All this time Buddha knew. 

"A test? Like another flood?" The white raven, Huggin, or Muninn asks. 

"Or perhaps an early ice age?" The black raven adds. 

Your thoughts return to the storm that had taken your life. Could the Gods have been responsible for it too? It seems possible. But what reason? 

It's too soon to point fingers. I'm basing this on an assumption. 

"No…there is a more effective way," Brunhilde retorts. "The Gods versus Humanity. The final conflict…Ragnarok."

Ragnarok! Your eyes widen in shock. Doom of the Gods. This can't be what Kintoki meant. 

"Defined in the extraordinary clause…in article 62, paragraph 15 of the Valhalla Constitution as a series of one on one showdowns between the Gods and Humankind," Brunhilde explains. 

A strange book materializes in her hand, opening to a page that you can not see, however, you assume it correlates to the rule she is reciting from. 

"Ha! That is your proposal?" The white raven asks. "You Valkyries should know very well–"

"That humans stand no chance against the Gods," the black raven concludes. 

Both croak in unison, "It'd be a waste of time!"

The Gods all agree with them. In a way, you can understand their decision. Humans are not on par with the Gods; to fight them would be pointless, but at least Brunhilde is trying.

"So the Gods' will is humanity's extinction and the avoidance of any direct confrontation with humans…is that right?" The Valkyrie asks. Her tone sounds almost condescending. She lifts a finger and rests it against her cheek. "Extinction without confrontation…refusal to meet face to face. By any chance…are you afraid?"

Buddha bursts into a laugh. The other Gods are not so humored.

"If so, I apologize," Brunhilde continues. "Please ignore my remarks. Let's just forget about the Ragnarok Clause."

Göll does her best to talk her sister down before she angers the Gods, but you understand now what she is trying to do; she's trying to play on their pride as Gods. And it's working. 

A choir of laughter echoes around the chamber, then all at once their humor shifts to anger, directed at Brunhilde. She simply grins, not caring.

"I see…Ragnarok, eh?" Zeus questions with a hearty laugh. He stands and pets the large lizard, who appears to be enjoying his attention. "That's an interesting proposal. Yup. It sure is. How…utterly…amazing."

Little by little you watch in horror as the muscles in one of his arms grow to a disproportionate mass. He buries his fingers into the lizard's snout and with the other arm, he twists its head until the poor thing's neck snaps with a horrifying crack. You feel Buddha slide his warm hand into yours, but you can't avert your eyes or focus on the calming sensation that is attempting to break down your guard.

"And I'm sure all of you," Zeus states as he tosses aside the creature and turns. His irises appear as a mass of swirling insanity and his face is covered in blood, painting him in a demonic light. "Are also longing to witness the wrath of the Gods!"

He's insane.

"What say you, my fellow deities? Shall we battle Humankind?" The father of the Gods asks, tossing out his arms. 

The chamber erupts in a mass of loud cheers, and once Zeus slams the gavel down, the conference comes to an end. 

I hope Brunhilde knows what she's doing.

You have faith in her, but you're having a hard time believing that humanity will stand a chance.

–

"You're leaving me," you utter in disbelief. 

Buddha gives you an understanding look.

"It won't be for long. The old man wants to talk to me about something."

You are aware. A handsome man dressed in a butler uniform approached you and Buddha as the two of you were about to leave, demanding that he see Zeus first. The man, Hermes, had escorted the two of you to a room, but Buddha had insisted that you wait in the hall.

"I'll be here I guess," you utter in agreement, feeling a bit anxious.  

Buddha grins and saunters into the room. In the meantime, you lean against the wall to wait. It's silent for the time being. You can't hear much, some mumbles here and there, but all seems to be well. At least you hope. You can't imagine what–

"What is this? Are you eavesdropping?" A teasing voice asks.

You jerk in fear and notice a man in a cloak floating beside you. No wonder you didn't hear him. He grins and floats down onto the ground, looking you over. 

"You're that human soul I've heard about. How scandalous," the man mentions. 

He leans down and observes the red cords around your ankles, then stands again. 

"I don't envy Buddha at all."

You assume he is referring to you being a human. Biting back a rude remark, you instead narrow your eyes. 

"It was not our decision."

The multi-colored-haired man hums. 

"No, I don't suppose it was. Yue-Lao is cruel, isn't he? To tether you to a God at a time like this, with humanity's extinction on the rise."

What does this matter? You raise a brow, an action that he notices. The grin on his face widens, and combined with the goat-like slits in his eyes, he looks almost sinister. 

"Did no one tell you, little soul?" He asks in a teasing voice. "The humans on Midgard are not the only ones who are going to face extinction. The souls as well."

Your eyes widen. No. Someone would have told you.

"You're lying! You have to–"

"Haven't you said enough, Loki?" A familiar voice interrupts.

Zeus stands in the doorway, clean of blood, holding a bag in his hand. Behind him is Buddha, glancing at you in concern.

"Perhaps I have," Loki remarks with a shrug. "It was good fun though."

The hell it is. You shoot him a glare, but a laugh from Zeus draws your attention to the frail-looking man. He steps over the red cord on the floor, examining it. 

"It's as you said. A human soul…who would have guessed." 

"Don't let it concern you," Buddha mentions. He saunters past Zeus and grabs your hand. "And enjoy your candy."

You almost forgot. Fortunately, he hasn't eaten them yet. As Buddha leads you away, you consider warning the Father of the Gods about them, but after this ordeal, you don't necessarily care. You hardly know what to think at this point. 

"You're a God, aren't you, Buddha?" Loki asks suddenly. "So why are you content with letting this human stick around? Are you…fucking it?"

Your face heats up. Why would he ask this? And once more, you aren't an object. Turning your eyes to Buddha, you witness him glance over his shoulder and yawn in disinterest. 

Loki snorts.  

"I suppose not. Shame."

Buddha clutches your hand tight and leads you away from them. You are thankful, however, your mind is a labyrinth. What are you to do?

"Yue-Lao wasn't here," Buddha mentions. He hums in thought. "I could ask Kintoki to–"

"Why did you bring me here? I don't understand why you wanted me to hear this," you ask, yanking your hand from his. 

Buddha stops and glances at you. 

"That was infuriating…and worse than that, I felt so helpless. Did you think I wanted to be humiliated like–"

Before you can finish the sentence, Buddha closes the gap and brings you into a hug. Your face heats up, but you lean against his chest, feeling at a loss. 

"I brought you here because I wanted you to be aware of what is to come," he mentions. His warm hand rubs your back. "You have every right to be mad…but you aren't the only one. I'm sure Bu-chan was just as upset as you and she isn't even a human. Leave this to her and focus on us."

On us. 

At this moment, those words sounded like heaven to you. But you couldn't get what Loki had said out of your mind. 

Why does Buddha keep you around? And what will become of you if the Gods win?

[jpitha]

Time to Go

Back when the Human and K’laxi first met, the first K’laxi ship that the humans met was the Unimminen, a research ship, on the run from a Xenni destroyer group, and was rescued by the human scout ship Longview. While fleeing the destroyer group, the humans outfitted the K’laxi ship with their wormhole generator and enough batteries to run it once. As they were doing final checks, they fell under attack:

The noise of the alarms was all around N'ren and it hurt her ears. It bothered the humans too, but it seemed to energize them. They all got more focused, more serious and moved faster.

A human was shouting at her in that staccato language they had, full of fricatives and harsh consonants. Their ship AI, back on board the Unimminen had opened communications with the Longview's AI, and Unimminen sent along updates to their translator modules real-time to help understand the human's speech, but it was still more of a sanitized and generalized version of what they actually said. It still go the point across. It was time to go. Now.

"But, the checks aren't finished!" N'ren said, worried.

*static* "No. No time. Go Now. Your ship talk to our ship. They figure it out." *static* The human was hurriedly putting on an armored pressure suit while talking to N'ren.

"Human Francine is right N'ren." Unimminen said through his radio. The Longview and I have worked out the details and I know how to work the wormhole generator. They have given us enough batteries to run it once, and we should be able to "link" back to K'lax direct! I can't believe I'm talking to an AI from a sapient group that has never made contact! This is so fascinating!"

While N'ren put on her pressure suit - unfortunately not armored like the humans' - she wondered why the Unimminen was sounding so excited. They had never exhibited this kind of behavior before. It was more like she was talking with a person than a ship.

As N'ren tightened the last ring on her gloves, she felt, rather than heard the strikes. Huge booming thumps along the bottom of the human ship and suddenly her suit shrieked that the pressure was dropping rapidly. The Xenni scored a hit nearby!

Her large inner ears coupled with her prehensile tail gave her a better sense of balance than the humans and she was able to feel the Longview start to rotate along it's axis.

"What's going on?" she said over her suit radio in the general channel.

"Longview is rolling to keep your ship out of the firing line." Francine said "Longview big, old ship, she can take it" she said, and grinned through her helmet. She put her hand on N'ren's shoulder and pushed. "Go. Now. To ship." There was another explosion, this one larger. "RUN"

****

As N'ren ran down the halls of the Longview, Unimminen reminded her to run on the right side of the hall as humans - all in pressure suits - ran with purpose around her. Some were carrying weapons and others were carrying firefighting equipment. "Why the weapons?" N'ren said to her ship.

"They're preparing to be boarded." Unimminen said.

"WHAT? The Xenni don't do that!"

"The Humans do, apparently."

N'ren made it to the umbilical that connected the two ships. As she entered the docking room a guard shouted "CAPTAIN ON DECK!" At that command, all of the humans in the room abruptly stopped what they were doing, and standing straight and tall, saluted her.

Taken aback at this show of respect from other sapients, N'ren didn't know what to do. Unimminen said in her ear "Longview says you're supposed to say 'as you were.'" And to her credit, N'ren gave it her very best, pronouncing the human words as best as she could. The ritual satisfied, the humans continued their work.

A human engineer came up to her and said "Captain, your ship is ready. Our ship taught your ship how to work the wormhole generator and we're ready to set you off and escape. We're going to push you with the docking arms, so don't wait to fire your main drive. We'll be fine." He grinned and stepped back.

"But, what about you? What are you going to do?" she asked.

"Oh, Longview is very old. She was a Starjumper before we developed wormhole generators. We're more engine that ship. We'll turn our Stardrive on them as they come around. No worries!"

"No, I meant your wormhole generator. Aren't we taking it?"

Impossibly, the engineer grinned harder. "Oh, no we bottled a message and used the generator to link a beacon back to human space. Someone will come and bring us a new generator in a week or two. We'll be fine."

More explosions wracked the ship. The engineer looked serious. "Go, now. We'll be fine, but if you hold up much longer there won't be any ship left! I'm glad we met. Go home and tell your people."

****

Back on the command deck of the Longview, the ship was relaying information to Captain Melody.

"Captain, the Unimminen has been pushed away, they're boosting from us at their full speed. A small group of Xenni ships has peeled off and giving chase."

At that, there was a blinding flash, and the ship was gone.

"Ahh, looks like Unimminen figured out the wormhole generator." Captain Melody said. "Excellent. Longview, shall we shake off our attackers?"

"With pleasure Captain. Permission to engage War Emergency Power and thrust at 6 gees for 3 minutes?"

"Permission granted. Please warn everyone first however."

From a distance, if someone was watching the battle, they would see the Longview begin to rotate along the axes of the massive flywheels deep in the center of the ship. It oriented itself until the rear of the ship was facing the Xenni. As they pressed their attack, the Longview lit its old Stardrive and a white jet of flame, kilometers long shot out the back as the ship thrust away at a withering six gees. Everyone on board was secured in acceleration couches or command chairs and while it was unpleasant, it was over soon enough.

The Xenni ships were destroyed the instant the torch of exhaust played over their hulls. None survived to report the incident to Fleet Command.

[unhappy-day-in-hell]

The Dissection of Hazbin Hotel, Episode One: part 4

Onto the end part, Charlie meeting with the angels and... Vaggie's advertisement.

Let's finish this!

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4: //

--Uh. The fuck is this building and why is it in Hell? Are we not going to explain? (Trick question, there’s already so much exposition that it wraps right back around to leaving us in the dark!!)

--Ohhh. That's Adam’s voice? Someone as important as him does not sound like that.

...Stupid thought I just had: Adam has the first Adam's Apple in all of history too... because it's that little saying, that Adam got a piece of the forbidden fruit stuck in his throat to remind him of eating it. So Adam, really, should either sound like he's constantly choking on something/has a stuffed up scratchy throat, or he should have a super deep voice to indicate his adam's apple.

--Heck is wrong with your mouth girl?

--B Plot is them filming an advertisement. I know I tried to re-write this in the review earlier (and will offer an alternative near the end of the review), but this is the kind of smaller-time plot we need to do in these early episodes BEFORE we get to Charlie's stuff. It's not very good tonal whiplash to pair these two plots up.

Also Vaggie’s doing this on Charlie’s behalf. This is, once again, something Charlie should be doing.

--Why doesn’t Charlie know the leader of the Exterminators is Adam? Does that mean she doesn’t know anything important about her world in general? Or is Adam’s presence a secret to the world? Does Lucifer know Adam is here?

--Good god, Adam really IS just Mammon. He's even a performer who is like a rockstar. Viv has zero new ideas.

--We're cutting between Charlie’s "important" meeting with Adam and the filming for the advertisement. We really are. I guess this episode and Western Energy spring from the same source.

--“How were you this weekend” is at least a little amusing. If Adam was more airheaded like that and not *gestures* all this, I’d probably hate his presence less.

--There it is. The Vagina joke for Vaggie’s name. They… they really did that. They just couldn’t help themselves. Viv just can’t help herself.

Because really, what are you supposed to do with this name? People having to say “Vaggie” out loud or print it on merch is embarrassing. They could have called her anything. Maggie. Aggie. Naggie. Saggy. Haggy.

--Vaggie: We’ll fix it in post. Angel: Do you even know what that means?

Well you see Angel! Vaggie’s origin can be split!

For a long time, Vaggie was thought to be a sinner who died very recently, so of course she’d know about editing, because she had grown up in the era of that kind of tech.

Except now she’s been changed to be a fallen exterminator! This means there are a lot of implications. Are we going to use this moment to hint how ANCIENT Vaggie is as a former angel, by showing her as not knowing how to work technology? No, no of course not -- Vaggie seems competent with the camera, it’s just that her actors are dumb fucks.

This criticism spreads over to Adam, who talks just like a “normal guy” and he’s a modern rocker and all that shit. Adam, the first human, who is incomprehensibly ancient… doesn’t show any signs of being as ancient as he is. They couldn't even write him using outdated slang? Make him a disco lover or something and have him say "Groovy?" No? (He IS a thing made of light, he could shine like a disco ball!)

--Vaggie: I’LL FIGURE IT OUT.

Godddd Vaggie can’t have one single line with any life in it. How does she scream in anger with no anger.

--Hi Al. This shot reminds me of why I used to like you, because I DID like your design and your mannerisms once upon a time. I still feel an echo of the enjoyment I used to get from you, and it makes me sad how far you’ve fallen, to being Rosie’s lapdog. You do look good with this muted blue tinting your color scheme. I wish Hell was more of this color, it’s much softer on the eyes.

(Even when I was still a fan, I hated how overused red was. It was one of the first complaints I had. Then the show doubled down and removed even more of the colors from the color pallet to make it even redder.)

--Vaggie to Alastor: Why are you even here? Alastor: For the entertainment!

Actually you’re here because LilithRosie asked you to. She filed down your fangs. You are a toothless character.

--Alastor: I came here because I love seeing wasteful souls struggle to accomplish something meaningful and fail spectacularly!

This is almost exactly a line from the Pilot where Alastor said “I want to watch the scum of the world struggle to climb up the hill of betterment! Only to repeatedly trip, and tumble down to the fiery pit of failure." Except it just. Lacks. Any of the danger. Or the manic insanity boiling just under Alastor’s surface. The delivery is so deflated.

The words are stilted, like they were with Vaggie a while back.

--Much better qualified people than I have spoken about the use of vodou symbols around Alastor. All I can say is this: Practitioners of vodou have spoken about how harmful it is, and therefore, the symbols should not be in the show. It's that simple. It would have cost the team literally nothing to refrain from using them. In fact, we’re in Hell, and we’ve already used the Ars Goetia in Helluva Boss; why don’t they use the symbols of the Ars Goetia? Or other demonic Christian symbols? Or Lovecraftian symbols from the fictional Lovecraft universe? Or make up their own??? There were a million other options besides digging in your heels. It shows the crew and Viv’s inability to just learn or just be nice.

“This face was made for radio!” that shot, bleck, they made a discount of that scary shot from the pilot. Why is every line they reuse for Alastor worse than it was in the pilot? The pilot where Alastor said “I would have done so already” let Alastor be a little aggressive and threatening, but here, it's just him equating it to “this face can’t be captured on video” instead of him being allowed to flex his power and scare Vaggie and Charlie a little bit….

It makes me sad.

--AND AGAIN, THIS IS VAGGIE HAVING THIS IMPORTANT CONVERSATION WITH ALASTOR. Why is it Vaggie who is getting Alastor’s motivation speech and seeing his Scary Face and not CHARLIE!? The Hotel is CHARLIE’S! Charlie is the main character, she’s the one who has to face these moral battles! Alastor’s motivation and his scorn for her Hotel are CHARLIE’S obstacles to deal with; she has to be the one to face them, consider them, debate them, and find a way to overcome them. But Vaggie is the one here, again, in Charlie’s place. (And Vaggie doesn’t even seem to have any enjoyment or passion for the Hotel either, so SHE doesn’t offer anything in return when she’s facing these opposing ideas.)

--So Alastor is going to make a good advertisement for the Hazbin Hotel, in exchange for never having to work with television ever again.

God, it’s so… WHINY. This isn’t a powerful Overlord of Hell, who is able to manipulate the Hotel behind the scenes and everyone has to watch out for his power because they both need his power but also fear it. This is a dude bargaining over what chores he has to do. It’s depressing.

--And it ends with Alastor giving everyone new outfits. Like the pilot. Because of course. Viv has no new ideas in her head at all. Also Charlie's not here.

--I feel like this scene COULD have been a standout moment in another universe, where someone else wrote this story. The colors are very nice, and Alastor is genuinely one of the only sources of ANYTHING you might consider fun in this episode, even if he’s a pale shadow of what he used to be.

Imagine this as a rewrite for this Episode, and how it could have ended:

At the beginning of the episode, the Hotel staff is still figuring things out. They have a meeting and decide they want to make an advertisement to get people to come to the Hotel, but Al refused to take part, because he hates TV. Charlie then tries to film her own advertisement with Vaggie’s help, but fails to make anything good.

As she starts feeling discouraged in the blue room while cutting up tapes, Alastor walks in to taunt her for a little while. After a back and forth where Charlie asks what he even wants here, he gives his motivation speech, so Charlie can have her goal challenged. But eventually, Charlie asks him to use his power to help her with this, by getting the word out to the people of Hell; and Al agrees, because an empty Hotel is no fun… in exchange for something Al wants: he’ll be allowed to observe any part of the Hotel and give commentary over it whenever he feels like it, and he’s allowed to say anything he wants, positive or negative. Charlie reluctantly agrees to these terms.

Then Alastor uses his power and creates a huge radio tower out of the back of the Hotel. The rest of the Crew feel the Hotel shaking and run outside, and watch in confusion as the tower reaches up into the sky. Al then floats up to the top room, where an old radio station is set up inside. Taking his seat in the booth, Alastor uses his power to broadcasts a spectacular old-timey radio show all across the radio waves of Hell, which are impossible for people to turn off, so it reaches millions of them.

(This also marks his grand return to Hell after his time away…… I guess. Since they're going with that.)

Boom, now Alastor has a radio tower that he hangs out in for the rest of the series, and he’s often giving SCATHING commentary about what goes on inside the Hotel in its quest for redemption. It’s usually making fun of everyone, or damning criticism -- but every so often he compliments something or someone, or gives a bravo for a job well done if a character does manage to accomplish something (but it's always with this HINT that he doesn’t expect their victory to last.)

There.

I provided a better hook for Episode One to end on, something fun to look at -- AND it has Alastor being in total control, while still helping the Hotel, but clearly primed to fuck with it. It also gives the show its first stakes -- small ones, but a status quo is established and we know Charlie will be butting heads with Alastor for the foreseeable future.

--Back with Adam and Charlie, it has become an argument that sinners have earned eternal damnation by making mistakes, and angels and the souls in heaven are not the same; and that angels have never made mistakes. Adam even says he’s never made a mistake.

Why doesn’t Charlie bring up the fact that Adam ate the fruit of knowledge that damned humanity, literally the first sin ever committed alongside Eve? Would that require too much thought, because Adam could just say “hey Eve was the one who did that, then she forced me!” and Charlie would have no rebuttal, because this show doesn’t seem to care about logical or moral battles. (Honestly, I can bet Viv would genuinely believe that for Adam.)

Why don’t they also bring up the fact that all human souls are descended from Adam too? It would force Adam to say: “yeah I don’t care, they may be my grandkids but they made their choice and as the original father it’s my job to whoop their asses when they get out of line,” which would show off how horrible he is. (Or, just not have Adam act this way. The next point elaborates on that:)

--I keep asking myself WHY Heaven and the angels have to be depicted this way. Not "why they’re corrupt" -- but why they’re *gestures vaguely* like this, and so cartoonishly.

Some shows take themselves too seriously and need to lighten up, but a show like Hazbin Hotel has the opposite problem, where it won’t be serious when it needs to be serious.

Adam acts exactly like a demon. There is no distinction between demons and angels. They’re as foul-mouthed, raunchy, and gross. Why?

Is it supposed to be “commentary” or “satire” about real world issues, where authority/radical Christians think they’re better than everyone else just by virtue of being Christian? That’s my first guess.

But just like with Helluva Boss’s commentary on cartoonishly evil abusers: it’s not saying anything we don’t already know, and it hits you with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer to the face.

When Hazbin uses Adam to say “See? Heaven is hypocritical! It does the exact same bad shit as Hell, but gives ITSELF a pass!” it makes Hazbin Hotel worse for it, because of how one-note it makes literally everything in the universe, and how it sacrifices any actual clever worldbuilding, storycrafting, or realism for the sake of shock value. 

Hazbin Hotel is supposed to have a serious storyline meant for adults. It was meant to explore a serious moral question, and the angels are supposed to be one of the serious threats that Charlie has to change the mind of. You want us to take your show SERIOUSLY? Then you need to make villains we can TAKE seriously.

Think of it like this. If Heaven was allowed to have a different personality from Hell (if angels were allowed to act differently than demons), you’d be so much better for it.

First of all, it would give the show variety. Hell already has all the sex jokes, curses, and gore you could ever ask for – that’s Hell’s atmosphere. So let Heaven have a different atmosphere -- let its people has "serious" personality traits. Let them take themselves TOO seriously. That way, there’s some variety when characters go from one place to the next.

Second of all, it would give you way more personality types to play around with! (How boring must it get, writing the same screaming, cursing, sex-spewing archetypes over and over?) AND it would let different temperaments clash! Imagine Angel Dust meeting an Exterminator; Angel Dust makes everything a joke, and the Exterminator takes everything way too seriously, aaaaaand their personalities slam into each other. Imagine the possibilities.

But we can’t have that.

We can’t have anything because Viv can’t let herself be sincere or think this far ahead.

Instead we’re just stuck with Adam, who is Mammon.

--Lute says Charlie was “pardoned by daddy”? Who?? Lucifer? If Lucifer has the ability to blacklist souls from being killed, why can’t he just tell the exterminators to fuck off? Or are they referring to “God” as daddy, for which, I thought they weren’t going to touch God in this show?

The dialogue for this show is confusing. There was clearly no editing or rewriting to make anything make sense.

In the old pilot continuity, only an angel of higher rank had the ability to kill Lucifer, which means the exterminators were unable to kill him. Charlie, as his daughter, was directly below him in power, meaning Charlie would also be immune to them because she's stronger than them. But here apparently she's weak enough that the exterminators not only COULD kill her if given the chance, they WANT to kill her but have to hold back by some... law.

--Another song. Okay.

My opinion is that Brightman is a good singer, and this song definitely has more going on than the first one did. So… not terrible… but there’s also something missing in these lyrics. The way the music flows isn’t interesting and it goes by so fast. And Adam’s voice isn’t grating or terrible to listen to, but his dumb rockstar voice just kind of clashes into Brightman’s singing voice every so often, and makes it sound weird to me.

I could do without.

--OOH LAWD SHE ABOUT TO GO OFF. (That meme will never stop being funny. The shot is so tame. She doesn't even get to do any flexing or anything?)

--They’ll be back in six months?? Oh right, ahem, ahem: We’re putting this into EPISODE ONE? (I’m getting tired of saying that.)

Side note: they better not blame Charlie for this one, or try to make it out like she did something to cause this. Because... She literally didn’t. She didn’t get a word in edge-wise. (If they blame Charlie for making Hell worse, not only is it another Potential Dramatic Plot Moment they waste here, where Charlie would legitimately do a fuckup and have to face the consequences of her actions and it’s Oooh Drama -- it’s also totally unearned here, because Charlie Didn’t Do Anything. Literally if this is supposed to be “Charlie’s Mistake”, she didn’t do anything to MAKE A MISTAKE. )

--Alastor: I pulled a few LIMBS too, Hah hah hah!

Now you sound dead Alastor. I miss your fast-paced deranged laughter.

--To hear Blitzo’s voice coming out of Katie. Not even for a joke. I just. Vomit.

--(Quick question, is it just me or does it feel WEIRD to see Hell freaking out about the exterminations happening sooner, the way it is now? I mean, it’s a bad thing of course – but at the same time, it’s 6 WHOLE months away. That’s still a very long time; it’s not like the angels said they’d be coming in 1 WEEK or anything.

And again, moving the Extermination up to the mid-point of the year COULD have been a good plot punch a few episodes in – if the show had established itself as having a one year time limit before the next extermination, for instance, and for the first season we watch the weeks or months go by. The cast think they’re safe because they always have more time; “the year isn’t even half over yet.” But THEN, Charlie fucks up a few months in, and suddenly the date of the extermination is moved up!! WE ONLY HAVE A MONTH LEFT!! SHOCK AND HORROR. THERE IS MUCH LESS TIME NOW. HOW CAN WE DO THIS IN TIME!? PANIC! STAKES! DRAMA.

Makes my poor writer heart sad.

Imagine if we lingered on the Exterminations for a while before all this, and we learn that every single year, it takes about 3 months worth of planning in order for Sinners to secure hiding spots away from the Angels (a play on the three big holidays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas). This is CRITICAL for Sinner survival; those who can't or don't are the ones who die, and spots are so competitive that it takes all that time for anyone to secure themselves. So when Charlie fucks up midway through the year and causes the Extermination to be moved up to just 1 month away, NO ONE IS SAFE, and there isn't enough time for three months of prep, which is why everyone flips their ever-loving shit: they know they're going to die and now there's a hysterical scramble all throughout Hell trying to secure safe spots.

--The ending shot shows an exterminator dead, and the angels out for blood about it.

Again, ahem-hem: EPISODE ONE.

And now, the Exterminators don’t even feel threatening -- because we know they can be killed.

What made the angels scary, originally, is that they were virtually untouchable. Demons could not defeat them, and angels could kill any demon they wanted to by default. (Even Alastor seemed to be weaker than the angels.)

The angels should have been a looming, impossible-to-defeat threat (at least for a while). This would have given the story tension, because the audience would know the sinners stood no chance if they ran out of time or failed to convince the Angels – it was a battle of MORALITY. It was a challenge for sinners to prove to Heaven they were redeemable, because Heaven held all the power.

They de-clawed their villains in their introductory episode.

…

Do Adam and the Exterminators even HAVE the authority to enact a full genocide??? Wasn’t there a “council of Angel Elders” mentioned in the beginning? Aren’t the exterminators just assigned to this post, and meant to keep the population low??? Won’t they get in trouble for overstepping their bounds!? ARE WE GOING TO GET ANY EXPLANATION AS TO HOW THE HIERARCHY WORKS OR HOW HEAVEN WORKS FIRST!? BEFORE WE GET INTO THIS!?!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAND ~CURTAINS!~

………………………………………………………………………

And that was the end of Hazbin Hotel Episode One.

…

So! What have we learned here today?

My personal takeaway is that, even though it’s cathartic to see this all start to go down in flames, I still feel disappointed and frustrated because of how much time I invested in it, even defended it to other people for a time. I'm frustrated because none of it had to be this bad. Viv didn't have to be evil. There was promise and potential, once upon a time.

Quite frankly, we were lied to. The premise that everyone fell in love with was dumped in the trash. For over four years, we were told this would be a story about redeeming sinners -- that’s what fans put so much of their time and money into. But that premise was discarded immediately, in favor of a generic War Against Heaven. Viv LIED to us, knowing from the start that the redemption storyline was never going to go anywhere.  

I just wonder how many resources were wasted creating this, how many people Viv hurt, how many opportunities were handed to Viv that could have gone to anyone else more deserving of it.

There wasn’t a single worthwhile thing in this episode. A handful of individual shots here and there were passable, but nothing enough to sit through it. Abysmal animation, pacing, storytelling, dialogue, voices, songs; characters that were flat and unmemorable, or stripped of what made them unique.

Charlie wasn’t the main character in her own show -- Vaggie was the one dealing with the morality of the other characters. (And frankly, Charlie didn’t NEED to meet with Adam. It accomplished nothing. If the angels had already decided to do the extermination in 6 months; they could have just done it, they didn’t necessarily NEED to meet with Charlie to enact it.)

Somehow, Hazbin found a way to do everything wrong!

This show should be taken as a lesson on what not to as an artist. (Any kind of artist, really.) 

In my opinion, the greatest weakness of this show is its inability to write anything sincere.

(And there’s a difference between something having sincere emotion, and melodrama, which Viv dumps in boatloads in her writing.)

I won’t re-write it all, but I basically mean what happened with Adam and the angels, where they aren’t allowed to be any different from the demons. They aren’t allowed to be serious, wise, ancient; because Viv CAN’T write them as sincere. (But this also includes so many other aspects of this show and this world as a whole.)  

(And its genre doesn’t shield it. Hazbin Hotel is trying to tell a STORY, so it doesn’t get to hide behind the genre of being an “episodic adult comedy”. It HAS to follow the rules of storytelling, and when it doesn’t, it is failing.)

And Hazbin Hotel is just one giant failure.

With that, I’ll wrap this up. I think I’ve said all I want to.

I don’t know if I’ll review any other episodes like this (or, if they’ll be this long), because they get worse and worse; and Episode 4 is such a serious, disgusting episode that I don't know if it's even worth it -- but I REALLY wanted to get my thoughts down for this one.

If you read it all, thanks for sticking around! It was fun to rip it apart.

If you have any thoughts you want to add onto this, I’d love to hear!